#and that rules. but id like to see him struggle with it just a LIL more

[larrythefloridaman]

google :)

love u goog <3

[prizmpaws]

🖍️, ❤️, ✖️!! (for the ask game!! your choice of which :D)

(answering all of these for patton [💙🐶], slime [🧪🎰], phantombur [🪶🧿], starlight glimmer [✨🔮], and terezi [⚖️🍒])

🖍️- what hobbies or activities make you think of your kin? 💙🐶: baking! also making bracelets, since we all had lil matching bracelets i made for us :D 🧪🎰: arcades. anything to do with them. i would work the casino on occasion but i mostly worked the arcade bc despite being like thousands of years old i was still a juvenile by slime standards and quackity preferred not to have minors working in the casino if he could help it. and either way my closest friends were fundy and purpled and they were also minors and that way we all got to hang out more :D we would get up to so much silly business while on the clock 🪶🧿: i would do a lot of like hands on, repetitive tasks like organizing things and crafting and enchanting and potion making and whatnot to keep me grounded (bc fun fact being a ghost makes it surprisingly easy to dissociate esp when thats something you already struggle with.) obviously i cant do a lot of those things now irl but like. sometimes little tasks like that remind me of this tl. esp if they fit that pretty romanticized dark academia aesthetic. like i got a wax seal kit for christmas and tried it out and. definitely very phantombur 🔮✨: i very much had a hyperfix/spin/what have you in magic as starlight and now sometimes when i watch clips/episodes of mlp that im not in where they're doing magic ill be like "why did they do it like that, they could have used this spell, and done that in this way, and-" i also instinctively like only ever call the mane six by like nicknames/petnames and im pretty sure its bc of this tl ⚖️🍒: deep diving into certain tags/communities on tumblr. all the trolls were very active on tumblr, that was how we met and talked and everything, and it just makes me nostalgic

❤️ - what's your favorite memory from this kin? 💙🐶: i mean our movie nights where we'd all cuddle on the couch were pretty nice. rlly any of our cute sappy domestic moments could take this spot. but one more distinct memory that jumps to mind is you comforting me after svsr and finishing making the cookies that i tried to stress bake and then getting to share them with u :D 🧪🎰: im torn between a few options that go from less to more sappy. first option is just the shenanigans we'd get up to in las nevadas. mostly me, purpled, and fundy, but sometimes foolish and very rarely even quackity would join in. we invented a card game using a gigantic combined deck of playing cards, uno cards, pokemon cards, etc and had a huge ever changing 3 ring binder with all the rules of the game written out in it. i wish i could remember all the rules but it was so much fun. option two: in hindsight it was definitely bc he got tired of me constantly asking him questions, but q told me that whenever i had a question i should remember it and save it for later and then once a week while we were doing chores and stuff id get to ask him all my questions. a lot of the time it was just silly stuff, but sometimes we'd get real deep. final option, just a tiny little snapshot, but one time q was making like some sort of apple dessert and he was cutting up little apple slices and purpled and fundy and i were all sitting on the opposite side of the counter begging for appy slices and scraps and he'd occasionally throw them to us and at one point fundy caught one in his mouth and we all got so hyped and quackity got all proud of him and called him like some sort of a sweet name in spanish that i do not remember and it was just a rlly nice moment. 🪶🧿: strawberry picking with tommy. i was barely even doing any of the work, i just sat and watched him and chatted with him for a while. it just really sticks out in my head. it was such a nice day out, and i just always loved to see him so happy and excited. i really saw myself in him, he was like the person i never got to be. i never would have told him any of that, and when he realized i wasn't helping we play argued for a while, as siblings do. but still. love that guy 🔮✨: traveling with trixie on her lil traveling magic caravan. sometimes we got on each others nerves bc it was very close quarters but it was also a lot of fun. sometimes for hours it'd just be the two of us with nothing but each other's company and time to kill. we'd have the most silly and pointless conversation, scream-sing, and have an insanely deep 2am thoughts sort of conversation all in the span of an hour. like a sleepover on steroids ⚖️🍒: i think probably just hanging out on the meteor. it was a long ass time but we had a lot of fun. it was rlly cool to finally see some of the beta kids in person! i dont have a whole lot of like solid memories from this tl so i couldnt pinpoint one moment but that whole experience was real fun.

✖️ - what details about this kin, if any, are really different from canon? 💙🐶: this one was generally fairly canon compliant aside from the fact that the sides were all in a polycule (aside from roman and remus dating each other ofc.) little bits of it that align more with fanon than explicit canon as well, but generally not too far off. 🧪🎰: i think not super contradictory to canon, just with a lot of details filled in? i honestly forget a lot of the exact details of canon bc like i watched it a while ago and i probably missed a few streams and things just get muddy between canon and kin memories. but i feel like the friendship between me, purp, and fundy was a lot less focused on if it was really featured at all. also my whole "post canon" storyline that i know happened but try not to think abt bc i know it has a bunch of noncanon characters and if i let myself remember them i will miss them and be sad. oh also i remember a fuckton of info abt like slime biology and culture and whatnot that doesnt go against canon (and in fact sometimes lines up shockingly well) but also wasnt explicitly shown. 🪶🧿: origins is already pretty freeform, but my tl had even less of like a "storyline" or any big plot events and was pretty much just us all hanging out. also the server resets i think were canon? bc i feel like i have memories of buildings/the world from both s1 and s3. i think i was like involved in the reset and then purposefully wiped my memory of it. which would explain why i cant remember jack shit abt it. no clue tho. once again mostly just a lot of added details that arent strictly contradictory to canon. 🔮✨: i was for sure dating trixie and twilight, queerplatonic with sunburst, and maybe queerplatonic with sunset? i was possibly also in some sort of non platonic relationship w the rest of the mane six. idk man those horses got around. also my backstory was a bit different. or like. if i had the same backstory in canon i did a real shit job explaining it. my whole thing with cutie marks was a bit deeper than just "oh no my friend got their cutie mark before me im so sad im gonna go invent communism D:" growing up my mom saw me starting to get an interest in magic and was all like "no dont waste your time with that, that stuffs all frivilous, how would you ever be successful and make a living like that, etc etc" sorta like how ppl are abt ppl who wanna go into art as a career sometimes. and like hearing that and spending all that time trying to get myself to like and be happy in something else and find a better, "normal" passion that my mom would approve of and then turning around and seeing sunburst getting to pursue it and getting his cutie mark for it fucking sucked. and like knowing that if i had been allowed and encouraged to explore my magic from that age i could have been even better at it. not to say i was justified i definitely still went too far but like. still ⚖️🍒: the trolls and the kids were. swapped? like we still had the same personalities and relationships and everything but basically the humans lived on alternia and the trolls lived on earth, with that same sort of societal structure and everything, and the kids played the original session that made earth. and it was neat idk im sure theres more i could name but ive run out of brain juices

[vangoghmusings]

a/n: hello! i’ve been wanting to do this for a while now since im a huge astrology nerd (so i know what im talking about teehee)  so this is male match-ups according to sign and compatibility. this isn’t my usual kind of writing so i hope you guys like it!! <3 if you don’t know your sign check here  

this took me so long oh my god i hope you guys like it 

taglist: @mixfi @lilacskyura @katsuhoee ​ @moonlightinsanity​ @anime-waifuuu @iiminibattlehero @leeeah-loooser​ @bby-chloe1999​ @verymuchbabey @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that@unknownweeabo @cookednoodlez @helloshoutohere @star-mum​ @izuku-sakura​ @thegalxe

UA STUDENTS

Katsuki Bakugou- April 20; Taurus

the absolute SHOCK in my face to learn he wasn’t an aries

it would be expected that katsuki is a fire sign, like cmon look at his quirk

but taurus is actually an earth sign 

taurus are typically seen as quite calm, but,, 

katsuki does seem like a true taurus in many ways

they can be stubborn and unwilling to compromise 

they are very realistic 

HATE FEELING INSECURE

they are often great at cooking and love to shop 

i feel like katsuki isn’t a self indulgent shopper but would buy anything for his s/o 

taurus are really good at working with their hands ;) 

theyre soft romantic bbs and as much as katsuki hates being vulnerable he’d definetly be a softie with his s/o 

id match katsuki with a calm pisces

Izuku Midoria- July 15; Cancer

i am not shocked at ALL to see that the lil broccoli boy is a cancer

like cmon he’s so sensitive 

he is a cancer to the T

he’s loyal, emotional, imaginative 

he also carries the negative traits of many cancers

such as feeling insecure and having difficulty taking criticism 

i mean the kid breaks his bones to prove others wrong 

cancers love being with their friends and family 

and they love helping others

the career of a hero would be natural for cancers

cancers are such sweet babies and izuku fits right into that category 

i would match izuku with a chill taurus 

Tenya Iida- August 22; Leo 

i didn’t expect tenya to be a leo but im also not surprised 

leos are often seen as flashy and arrogant 

but they’re more than their stereotype

leos are passionate and natural born leaders

like cmon class rep! 

tenya being a leo makes a lot of sense 

he’s generous and kind and always strives for the best 

they tend to be a bit dramatic, and tenya can be too 

being that leos are a fire sign they gravitate to self growth

this can be seen in tenya wanting to improve and challenging himself 

leos struggle facing harsh realities, similarly to tenya when he learned about what happened to tensei 

leos are known for their bravery and tenya fits right in

i would match tenya with a kind aquarius 

Shoto Todoroki- January 11; Capricorn 

i practically screamed when i realized shoto was a capricorn 

it just makes way too much sense 

they’re responsible, well-mannered, respectful !!!!

HOW IS HE SO HOT AND RESPECTFUL

capricorns i just,, i love them, truly 

shoto is no exception 

they love family, things of quality, traditions 

and their dislikes vary from day to day

why?

cause they’re iconic thats why 

however, capricorns aren’t always the nicest 

they tend to be condescending and can often come off as rude 

they’re incredibly unforgiving *ahem endeavor ahem* 

but, its because they just have naturally high standards 

it makes sense that he is an earth sign because he’s super grounded 

because saturn rules capricorn, the tend to seem cold and distant at times

but they are incredibly loyal friends and always strive for the best 

i would match shoto with a down to earth cancer

Mashiro Ojiro- May 28; Gemini 

i must admit, i was surprised to learn ojiro is a gemini

but if you really look at his character it makes a lot of sense 

gemini’s have a bad rep of being too faced

they’re actually one of my favorite signs!!

gemini’s are are gentle and affectionate 

and sweet bb ojiro is exactly that 

however they also tend to be quite anxious, another thing ojiro happens to be at times as well 

they’re very adaptable people

this can be seen throughout ojiro’s training and how much he learns and is willing to continue striving for 

gemini’s are very sociable and will talk to almost anyone 

like, he doesn’t see hagakure but they’re still good friends 

this is why i think ojiro would do great with a fire sign 

i would match ojiro with a cheerful sagittarius 

Denki Kaminari- June 29; Cancer 

alright cancer number two!! 

to be honest, denki doesn’t really give cancer vibes 

but, his personality traits align to much of what a cancer is 

tenacious and loyal 

and denki is definitely that 

however, cancers can be suspicious of others and their actions

and denki feels like the kind of guy to snoop on somebody 

but we gotta give denki some credit 

cancers strive to be there for their friends no matter what

denki shows this in the usj attack when he protects momo and jiro 

cancers tend to avoid conflict but even so, they search for conflict in those who pose bigger threats to them

similarly to when denki makes fun of bakugou even though he could totally blow him up 

denki is a chatty and flirty baby 

and cancers tend to be most compatible with earth signs 

buuut i think denki would be better suited with a fire sign 

i’d match denki with an outgoing aries 

Hanta Sero- July 28; Leo 

at first i was like hmmm no 

but then i used my brain and i was like actually yes 

leos are prideful and while sero doesn’t seem like the boastful kind, he does have a lot of pride in himself 

leos are very committed to their goals and sero’s actions show his dedication to becoming a hero 

leos are also so funny?? and sero is literally one of the funniest guys of 1A 

sero is one of the most sociable in the class and a total class clown 

leos are almost always seen with their friends and sero is no different 

sero’s vibes are just immaculate in my opinions 

so his s/o needs to match the energy 

i would match sero with a funny gemini 

Eijiro Kirishima- October 16; Libra

GOD IT JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE 

I CANT EVEN EXPRESS

THE ACCURACY

ok ok but seriously, of course kiri is a libra 

libras are diplomatic, fair, and strive for justice 

aka being MANLY is in the stars for bb kiri 

however, libras aren’t the most confident people 

they’re quite insecure and pity themselves a’lot 

which makes sense that its canon that it took kiri so long to accept his quirk 

have you ever wondered why kiri is so hot and cute and perfect?

ITS BECAUSE HES A LIBRA

im not even kidding

libras are known for being physically attractive 

i mean libra is literally ruled by venus

who else is venus?

APHRODITE AKA THE GODDESS OF LOVE

long story short, kiri is the god of love 

libras hate being alone

why do you think he puts up with bakugou constantly calling him shitty hair and pushing him around? 

i considered putting kiri with a water sign but they’re kinda babies (no offense i love my water signs) 

but i don’t think he could handle a person who is constantly emotional like many water signs are 

i would match kiri with a kind-hearted sagittarius 

Hitoshi Shinso- July 1; Cancer 

jesus christ ANOTHER CANCER?? 

i cant even be upset cause it makes sense 

while i would’ve thought shinso was a calm scorpio or a relaxde picses 

he fits much better as a cancer 

as mentioned previously with deku and denki, cancers really do have a heart of gold and just want to help people 

cancers are also very manipulative people 

i mean, look at this mans quirk 

cancers are also moody and pessimistic 

characteristics that shinsou has but are seen more as stoic and quiet

but cancers are also sympathetic 

and bb shinsou is a softie i just know it 

cancers are guided by emotion

like deku, he is seen as passionate for his desire to be a hero, even though his quirk is seen to be one of evil 

shinsou needs to be with someone who’s willing to listen when he opens up (which cancers hate doing)

i would match shinsou with an understanding taurus

Tamaki Amajiki- March 1; Aries

HUH

HUUUUH???

youre telling me this man is an aries and bakugou isnt?? 

i need to collect my thoughts 

OK so tamaki is an aries 

and honestly its pretty accurate

most times aries are seen as passionate in a reckless and angry manner

but tamaki’s passion is displayed in his dedication to being a hero 

i mean he’s literally in the big 3 

aries tend to be moody, which is seen in tamaki’s shy actions 

but they’re also enthusiastic and courageous 

tamaki’s courage is shown in the mission to rescue eri 

aries are seen as intimidating and tamaki’s dark features are exactly that 

and while he is very shy, he needs someone to help bring him out of his shell delicately 

id match tamaki with a gentle libra 

Mirio Togata- July 15; Cancer 

whats up with mirio and deku sharing the same bday doe 

this is way too many cancers 

BUT mirio is such a cancer lets be real 

we’ve covered the basics of cancers

sensitive 

loyal 

will do anything for others 

and most importantly brave

the sign of a cancer is a crab 

the crab symbolizes someone who doesn’t realize their great strength  

mirio is the personification of the strength of the crab 

and poor baby has gone through so much and deserves the world 

he’s so cheerful but he needs someone to be there for him when he’s at his most emotional moments 

i would match mirio with a tender capricorn 

PRO-HEROES

Shota Aizawa- November 8; Scorpio 

i mean cmon 

ofc dadzawa is a scorpio 

he’s the image of a stereotypical scorpio 

dark features, dark clothing, serious and kinda rude 

but scorpios get a bad rep for being meanies (we should be watching out for virgos tho) (jk jk i love my virgos <3) 

but scorpios have some of the best characteristics 

their loyalty is beyond words 

they would literally lay down their life for a friend or the good of others 

scorpios are passionate and assertive, and this side of aizawa definitely comes out 

aizawa is so stoic he needs somebody to soften him up 

i would match aizawa with a cheery cancer 

Hizashi Yamada- July 7; Cancer

another f*cking cancer

AND IT MAKES SENSE 

not just because aizawa and him are married and he’s a cancer and it totally makes sense 

but hizashi is such a cancer oh my god 

he’s sensitive, and caring, and brave, and a literal pro hero 

which is a cancer living the dream 

cancers often have difficult childhoods and struggle immensely to find outlets 

this fits with the theory that as a child, hizashi was put up for adoption and/or muzzled as a child because of his powerful quirk 

cancers are ruled by the moon, which would make sense to why they are so emotional 

because the moon goes through phases, so do they

hizashi needs someone that would help him be strong outside of his hero work and for his own mentality 

i would match hizashi with (aizawa or) a charismatic virgo 

Toshinori Yagi- June 10; Gemini 

ofc all might is a gemini 

he literally has 2 forms

and geminis are literally two faced

it makes so much sense that the symbol of peace is a gemini 

he’s adaptable and a quick learner 

geminis are affectionate and you cant tell me toshi isn’t the biggest cuddler and softie in the world 

geminis are people pleasers and just want to make others happy 

and all might’s literal thing is smiling to comfort those in fear

toshi needs someone who is understanding of what he had gone through as a retired hero and the bearer of one for all 

i would match toshi with an inquisitive aquarius 

Keigo Takami- December 28; Capricorn 

DADDY

ok but he is such a capricorn its not even funny 

he’s a cocky know-it-all kind of capricorn 

but he’s also a responsible and well mannered capricorn

capricorns are people who are willing to take on immense responsibilities 

and hawks is literally the no. 2 hero so of course he’s got a lot of responsibilities 

because he’s an earth sign, we wants to get the most out of what the world has to offer him 

including fame and money 

but hawk’s head strong and professional attitude is what comforts people and makes him such a great hero 

he needs someone who would match his energy well 

i would match keigo with a level-headed scorpio

VILLAINS 

Dabi- January 18; Aquarius 

FINALLY AN AQUARIUS

i have a deep love for this sign 

dabi is an aquarius and it is so accurate 

aquarius love to fight for a cause

in dabi’s eyes, the league of villains is the best cause he can support

and he’s at the front lines

they’re considered humanitarians,,and dabi is in his own “special way” 

aquarius love a good conspiracy and mystery 

and dabi is a total mystery 

aquarius constantly have to be stimulated and doing something

otherwise their boredom can lead to reckless actions 

they are also anti all emotions 

this is why they seem so aloof, they don’t know how to confront their own feelings 

i’d pair dabi up with someone who is willing to listen to him and hopefully allow him to open up 

i would match dabi with a charming sagittarius 

Tomura Shigaraki- April 4; Aries

now this is a stereotypical aries 

aries is ruled by mars, which was named after aries 

AKA THE GOD OF WAR??

like his literal goal is to destroy society,, 

aries love to be in leadership roles

they’re also short-tempered 

impulsive

and aggressive 

how ever, his more “positive” traits such as determination and passion are also evident in his characteristics 

they’re competitive people and tomura definitely is one 

tomura would need to be with someone who is calm  

i would match tomura with a patient leo 

Kai Chisaki- Birthdate Unknown;NA 

so kai’s sign is unknown 

BUT

he still deserves a match up 

besides his stance in villainy

kai as actually very well mannered and polite 

but he doesn’t value human life and sees his as more important and pure than those who are “sick” 

a lot of his characteristics would lead me to believe he is an unevolved sociopathic capricorn 

outside of being a villain i would match kai with someone who was understanding and a good listener 

i would match kai with a sympathetic pisces 

[lilegghead]

i FINALLY did some writing...abt leona... this is just a lil warmup but if u like it n want some oneshots or whatever hmu id love to get some practice in!!!

Princess Leona Matilda Bowerstone, Hero of Brightwall, Leona the Lionheart

Sheltered, coddled and ill-tempered, Leona believed she was bound for a life of luxury: destined to be married off to some baron in a far-off land, to bear children and ultimately be flaunted as an indication of wealth and success without ever directly experiencing it herself. However, her expectations were dashed after an altercation with her older brother, King Logan, led to the death of a childhood friend and the ignition of a suddenly righteous fury. Her beloved aide, Sir Walter Beck, whisks her away to Brightwall, where he guides her through her adjustment to a new way of living. She is suddenly heaped with responsibility and seemingly impossible expectations: as a bona fide Hero, she must learn how to harness her newfound powers and use them for good, as well as to connect with the people around her and gather the means to stage a revolution and take the throne of Albion. Needless to say, Leona struggles to adjust. As a Princess, her world was once very small, with Walter, best friend Elliot and devoted butler Jasper as her only circles of influence. Bowerstone Castle was her entire world, and she has been cast from it without warning with the weight of the entire world placed on her shoulders. At the beginning of her journey she is reserved, easily distressed and short of patience and temper. She has no interest in the needs of the many, and latches on to Walter for comfort and reassurance. As she learns, travels and meets new people, Leona begins to come out of her shell to reveal a sensitive soul, a young lady who just wants to be liked and to do the right thing. The trust others put into her, as well as Walter’s undying belief in her and her potential, helps to boost her confidence and slowly change her into a girl fit to be a queen. She learns to listen, to trust her gut and to let herself be vulnerable. Leona finds herself with two primary pillars of support: Sir Walter Beck, and Captain Benjamin Finn of the Albion Royal Army. As an old friend and advisor of Leona’s mother, Sparrow, Walter has been a major fixture in Leona’s life from the day she was born. He always made the effort to broaden her horizons past the duties of a princess by teaching her about her roots as a Hero, with combat training, war stories and tales of her mother’s deeds. He is the first to recognise her potential to rule, and is the one to help her channel her anger into proactivity, as well as using his connections through the army to build her ranks. She, in turn, is fiercely loyal and protective of him, and cites him as her surrogate father (her birth father is rumoured to be a prominent sea merchant, but she does not care much to find out). The two are a family within themselves, and will unconditionally love each other to the end of their days. Ben Finn, as a higher-ranking soldier in the Swift Brigade, is sent as a proxy for Major Swift to work with Leona and Walter in Brightwall. He is good natured, loyal and down to earth, and complements Leona’s prickly character well, teaching her the benefits of stepping back and assessing situations, as well as on the use of a firearm. Ben recognises Leona’s potential during a fight against Hollow Men in a visit to his army barracks in Mourningwood,  and she in turn admires him for his lack of fear in the face of imminent danger. They fight well together, supporting their weaknesses and strengths in turn, and a journey into the caverns below Brightwall Library to retrieve a music box solidifies their friendship. Perhaps it is what she sees of Elliot in him that causes Leona to fall in love with him – he sees the good in those around him, but isn’t afraid to fight for what he believes in, to bring a better future. She sees herself in him too after the unjust execution of Major Swift: his anger gets the better of him, he lashes out in the throes of grief and it is her duty to reign him in and to help him channel his anger into a worthy cause.  He falls for her too, somehow, for her willingness to learn and to open up, her inner strength and resilience, the love and trust she desperately wants to express in those around her but can’t quite show.

[blxckdamask]

Second fic bc my last one did surprisingly well.

Bakudeku angst with a lil fluff at the end. dont know how to write a synopsis so yall are just gonna have to read it.

word count: 4650 

Katsuki’s day was going pretty well so far. He had a day off so he caught up on housework, reorganising his and Izuku’s wardrobe, watched that new tv show he was meaning to watch and even managed to squeeze in grocery shopping with some time to relax.

It was currently 6pm and Izuku should’ve been home half an hour ago. Katsuki was starting to worry. Izuku always called him when he was going to be late, he had since they were younger and it was a habit that stuck, so him being thirty minutes late without a word had Katsuki mildly irritated and majorly worried.

Katsuki shot him a quick text asking where he was and put his phone on the coffee table just in case Izuku decides to call him. Izuku had a habit of texting back quickly, a habit that sometimes got on Katsuki’s nerves because he can never get out what he wants to say without his husband interrupting half way through with some stupid response, but in times like these he needed his husband to respond right away saying he was okay.

Katsuki checks his phone every minute, getting angrier every time. He had to physically restrain himself from blasting a hole in their new couch. He sighed angrily and ran a shaking hand through his spiky hair. Where the fuck is he?  

Another hour passes before Katsuki’s phone starts to ring. He grabbed it so fast he almost sent it across the living room. He doesn’t bother to check the caller ID before answering the call.

“Shitty nerd, where the fuck are you!? I’ve been worrying for an hour and a half and I swear to god if you aren’t home in the next ten minutes I’m going to blast your ass into next week, mark my fucking words Deku!” Katsuki screamed into the phone regretting it instantly when he heard soft whimpers and something that sounded suspiciously close to a sob on the other end.

“K-kacchan, c-can you-” Izuku groaned in pain “-can you pick m-m-me up ple-” a blood curdling scream ripped through Izuku’s throat and it made Katsuki’s blood boil. He didn’t know what was happening to Izuku and god did he want to murder the fuck out of the people that did this to him, but right now he had to focus on getting his husband home safe.

“Izuku, fuck, I’m gonna be there real soon, tell me where you are okay? Just hold on for me please” Katsuki said frantically, he heard Izuku tell him the address and before he could process what he was doing, he was jumping off the couch and grabbing his keys. He stayed on the phone, his ears focusing on the cries, whimpers and screams of his love. He didn’t bother putting a shirt or shoes on and at this rate he didn’t really care about breaking a few laws.

“Kacchan I-I need you t-t-t-to get here fast I d-don’t-t know where this b-b-blood is c-coming from. Oh god there’s so-so much” Izuku gasped in pain and Katsuki could hear him struggling to breathe, that only fueled him to go faster.

“Hang on baby, I’m on my way I’ll be there really really soon, just breathe. Take deep breaths with me okay?” Katsuki breathed in dramatically, smiling slightly when he heard Izuku do the same, he exhaled slowly, coaxing his husband to do the same.

After two or so minutes of helping Izuku breathe, he pulled up to where he was. An abandoned building on the outskirts of town, how Izuku ended up there was a mystery and not the most important thing on Katsuki’s to-do list but he made a mental note to ask him about it when he wasn’t on the brink of fucking dying.

Katsuki exited his car, regretting not putting on shoes because he immediately stepped on a piece of glass. He cursed loudly, his foot throbbing but he pushed the pain to the side, he can deal with it after. He walked rather quickly through the dark building, thanking god it was only one storey. He was still on the phone to Izuku, the noises Katsuki heard would probably haunt him forever, the screams, cries, sobs, all of it was making Katsuki sick to his stomach.

“Izuku, I’m here, tell me where you are, scream out I don’t care just tell me where you are please” Katsuki was hysterical at this point, running around like a chicken with no head, frantically trying to find his no doubt dying husband.

“I’m at the end of the hall just keep w-walking and you will find me just please-” a groan “-quickly” Izuku rasped. He hung up. Tears pricked Katsuki’s eyes as he picked up his pace, sprinting down the horror movie esque hallway. He ran for about three minutes before he saw Izuku. He sprinted towards him and dropped to his knees in front of him.

“Jesus Christ Izu,” Katsuki started, his eyes wandering to the array of injuries littering his husband’s body. His hero costume was shredded, his hair was all over the place, his arm was clearly broken and there was so much blood Kasuki didn’t know how many wounds he had, “holy fuck, what the fuck happened?” Katsuki asked although he wasn’t really expecting an answer.

“K-k-kacchan please i-it hurts s-s-so bad” Izuku gasped. His face was so sore from god knows how many injuries, his arms hurt, his abdomen was burning with white hot pain that almost made him pass out, and his head pounded so hard he thought his head was going to explode.

Katsuki gritted his teeth. “I know it does baby, I know, just hold on a little longer, we gotta get you the fuck outta here.” Katsuki moved quickly but with caution. He hooked an arm under Izuku’s knees and an arm around his waist, picking him up bridal style. Izuku gasped in pain and Katsuki winced, he’d apologise later.

“‘M sleepy Kacchan” Izuku slurred, the pain and exhaustion from trying to stay conscious hitting him all at once, the blood loss probably wasn’t helping either.

“I know but stay awake, Izu. Keep those eyes open c’mon” Katsuki said struggling to get out of the building as fast as he could without disrupting any of his husband’s injuries.

“K-kacchan,” Izuku whispered, his head falling to rest on Katsuki’s bare shoulder, “I love you”

“I love you too, Deku.” Katsuki replied looking down to see Izuku’s eyes start to shut, “Stay awake, c’mon a couple more minutes then you can sleep, I promise” He felt Izuku nod against his shoulder and he lent down to press a soft kiss on his forehead.

They finally made it outside without Izuku falling asleep. Katsuki ran to his car and opened the back door. He maneuvered the man in his arms so he could lay him down across the back seat. Once he was secured, Katsuki closed the door and raced the the driver’s side. He jumped in, turned on the car and sped down the highway towards the hospital. He held Izuku’s hand the entire way making sure he didn’t fall asleep.  

“Just a little more, Izuku. You’re doing so great, we’re almost there” Katsuki squeezed Izuku’s hand softly waiting a couple of seconds before he felt Izuku squeeze back weakly. Katsuki turned his head to look at the injured man, only to see him asleep. Katsuki swore under his breath and sped up, not really caring if he was breaking about all of the road rules, fucking give him a ticket he doesn’t give a shit the only thing he cares about is making sure his fucking husband stays alive.

—–

Once they made it to the hospital, Katsuki ran into the hospital with a limp Izuku in his arms, screaming at the top if his lungs that someone needs to help him. The almost lifeless body being cradled in his arms, the screaming and the dramatic entrance seemed to alert quite a few staff members.  About eight doctors and nurses crowded around the heros and before Katsuki could even comprehend what was going on, a nurse was taking Izuku from his arms and almost throwing him on a gurney wheeling him away. Katsuki tried to run after it but a forceful hand on his chest stopped him.

“Sir, you need to take a seat someone will be with you as soon as they can” a younger looking doctor said calmly, his hand not moving from its place on Katsuki’s bare chest. Katsuki glared at him.

“If you know what’s best for you, you’d quit touching me” Katsuki growled and the doctor quickly took his hand off his chest, muttering a quick apology.

“Please, sir you need to calm down and come with me, he’s going to be okay” the doctor tried again, more forceful this time. Katsuki ran a bloody hand through his hair but complied and followed the doctor. The room he was lead into was pretty plain. A few seats, some fucking pot plants and a tv playing some shitty reality show. Katsuki rolled his eyes and huffed.

“When can I see him?” Katsuki asked, his voice rough and forceful. The doctor sighed and turned towards him.

“Like I said before, someone will see you soon and tell you everything but right now, you need to take a seat. Now, what is the patient’s name and what is your relation to him?” The doctor said looking down at the clipboard in his hand, obviously not in the mood to deal with temperamental people at this hour.

“De-fuck, Izuku Bakugou. He’s my husband.” Katsuki finally answered, sitting down on a chair closest to the door. He looked down at the ground and remembered his foot still had glass in it and was currently bleeding onto the carpet.

“Thank you. I just need your name and I’ll send someone in as soon as i can” the doctor said, not looking up from his clipboard.

“What the fuck do you mean you need my name!? I’m the fucking number 2 hero! You should know me!”Katsuki yelled, his temper getting the better of him.

“Sir, I don’t care what your occupation is, I need your name or I’ll have to call security”

Katsuki sighed dramatically, “Katsuki Bakugou.” The doctor looked up from his clipboard and flashed the hero a smile before dashing out of the room. Katsuki sighed. He needs to tell someone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Uraraka’s number. It rang three times before she picked up.

“Hey, Katsuki! What’s up?” Her cheerful voice came through the speaker, calming Katsuki’s nerves a small bit.

“H-hey Cheeks. Um, fuck, Deku is in the hospital and he, um, isn’t looking too good” Katsuki managed to choke out, his eyes starting to well up with tears. The adrenalin wearing off and all of the exhaustion and emotion hitting him at once.

“What!?”, he had to pull his phone away from his ear in fear of becoming deaf with how loud she screamed, “What the fuck do you mean Deku is in the hospital?”

“I mean he’s in the fucking hospital, damn woman learn how to fucking listen. He got really fucked on a small one day mission and now he’s at the hospital” Katsuki said, the bite in his voice not really present as he was trying to hold back tears. He didn’t cry very often if at all but he deemed this situation to be a pretty reasonable excuse.

Ochako gasped. “What happened? How did you find him? Did you call Inko?” her questions came at rapid speed, Katsuki had to take several moments to figure out what she actually said before he answered her.

“I don’t know what happened he was bleeding out and I didn’t get the chance to ask him since I was more focused on making sure my husband didn’t fucking die in an abandoned fucking building!” Katsuki screamed, alerting some patients and people in the waiting room but he didn’t care, he was too angry to care. He did, however, regret his tone when he heard soft sobs coming from the phone. “Ochako, I’m, fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you. Shitty Deku getting himself almost killed is a lot to take in right now.”

Ochako sighed. “I know and I’m sorry you even have to go through this. Have you gotten any updates from the doctors?”

“No, we got here about ten minutes ago and then a shitty doctor told me to wait in an empty room which is starting to creep me the fuck out” Katsuki replied, a soft smile appearing on his face when he heard a small giggle coming from the phone.

“Do you want me to be there? It’s fine if you don’t want me to, I just don’t like the thought of you being alone.” Ochako asked, even though she sounded like she was begging Katsuki to let her come. Katsuki sighed and ran a hand down his face, leaving a trail of blood.

“Fine, but on your way can you bring me some clothes, I’m kinda only in pants right now.” Katsuki said, his face heating up with embarrassment. He heard Ochako giggle.

“Okay. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. See you soon” Ochako hung up before Katsuki could thank her. He sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. As if on queue, a nurse walked through the door, a bright, obviously fake, smile plastered on her face.

“Alright sir, if you could come with me that would be great” she said before exiting the room. Katsuki didn’t think he could get out of a chair faster than he did. He jogged out of the room, trying to keep up with her with his injured foot. The hospital was pretty quiet considering, the only sounds being the noises from the machines and the loud talking of nurses. He felt a bit calmer now.

“Can I see him?” Katsuki asked, his voice was small and frail. He didn’t want to rush the poor nurse that looked like she’d dealt with one too many assholes today and Katsuki didn’t want to make her day any harder than it had to be, so he kept his normal loudness to a very minimum.

She turned to him when they reached the elevator and flashed him a smile. “You can see him now. He’s sleeping now but he should wake up soon” the elevator dinged and the doors opened. They stepped in and the nurse pressed the button for the fourth floor. Katsuki averted his eyes from her and looked straight ahead, his mind going a mile a minute. Katsuki heard the nurse gasp. He turned to her to see her looking at his injured foot, her eyes wide.

“Oh gosh! Your foot is bleeding. Are you okay?” she asked, her voice full of so much concern Katsuki was taken aback.

“Uh, yeah it’s just a bit of glass, I’ll be fine” he said, trying to sound confident, but in reality, his foot hurt really bad.

“Oh no sweetie, you need that looked at. I’ll send a doctor to the room as soon as we get there.” she said and the elevator doors opened.

“So what happened to him” Katsuki questioned, folding his arms across his chest. The nurse stopped in front of a room, the door was shut, making Katsuki feel uneasy.

“He has minor head trauma, his left wrist is broken, his right wrist was sprained and he has a stab wound in his right side, just above his kidney, not to worry it didn’t harm any organs. Fortunately, most of the blood wasn’t his. There is one question a couple of the doctors had. Do you know if your husband has or had any history of mental illness?” Katsuki swore he stopped breathing for a moment. Izuku having a mental illness would be completely reasonable but he would tell him about it, right?

Katsuki inhaled deeply. “Not that I know of, why?” the nurse gave him a sympathetic look. She hesitantly placed a hand on Katsuki’s arm, making him tense up but his mind was way too preoccupied with the fact that this woman just asked if Izuku was mentally fucking incapacitated.

“We ask you this because when the nurses were cutting his clothing, they found his arms riddled with scars and we feared they might be self inflicted” the nurse avoided eye contact, almost looking afraid. The blonde chuckled.

“Nah they aren’t. He scars really easily and because we’re heros, he gets injured a fuckton. Don’t worry he isn’t self harming, although he does have really bad anxiety if you need to know” Katsuki said, his voice light. The nurse smiled a genuine smile before removing her hand. She opened the door and gestured for Katsuki to walk in.

Katsuki froze not even fully through the door, his eyes fixed on the man in front of him. Izuku looked peaceful as he slept but he looked different to when he’s fall asleep beside Katsuki. Besides the obvious fact that they were in a hospital and he looked beat up, he looked as if something was bothering him, like the mission was still happening, just in his head this time. His eyebrows were knitted together and his forehead was creased. Katsuki finally got his legs to work and walked towards the right side of the bed.

“I’ll give you some time alone. Is anyone else coming?” the nurse brought his attention back to her as he sat down on a chair next to the bed.

“Um his, um, our friend is coming she should be here in like five minutes” Katsuki said as he grabbed Izuku’s hand in his own carefully, rubbing his knuckles with the pad of his thumb.

“Okay she needs to be quick though, visiting hours are up in thirty minutes. You can stay since you’re family but she has to leave, sorry.” the nurse said, giving Katsuki one final smile before exiting, closing the door behind her.

Katsuki looked down at his husband. The tears that threatened to fall before, finally falling down his face. He didn’t wipe them away, he didn’t care who saw him like this, he was just to fucking happy Izuku wasn’t dead. He brought his and Izuku’s hands to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss against the back of Izuku’s scarred hand. He heard the door open but he didn’t look away from the green haired man laying in front of him. “Hey. I got your clothes. How’s he doing?” he heard Ochako say.

He looked up at her. “Thanks. Um, he has a broken wrist, a concussion and a stab wound but the nurse said he’s gonna be fine.” he said, his voice was cracking with every word. He looked broken, more broken than Ochako had ever seen him before. She walked closer to him almost scared of what he’d do to her.

In all honesty, Katsuki was way too tired and emotional to even think of doing anything bad to her. The brave, confident face he wore everyday was replaced with the face of a broken child. The tears that cascaded down his face, he didn’t wipe off, he didn’t even acknowledge them. Wet spots started to appear on his pants and Ochako was genuinely concerned as to why this got to Katsuki so much. He’d seen Izuku in worse situations, taken him to the hospital more times than she could count and watched him get thrown around like a ragdoll on more than one occasion and he never once shed a tear.

She placed the bag of clothes by the bed and she pulled up a chair next to Katsuki. They sat in a comfortable silence, Ochako occasionally looking over to Katsuki mentally trying to ask if he was okay. She was more than shocked when Katsuki decided to speak up.

“When he was on the phone, he sounded like he was dying and- and then in the car he told me he loved me as if it was the last time he’d say it to me. It was like he accepted the fact that he could’ve died” Katsuki said through tears. His voice croaked and broke all the way but he didn’t care. Ochako reached over and grabbed Katsuki’s free hand, hoping he’d let her hold it. To her surprise, he did.

“You both knew- we all knew what we were getting into when we chose to be heros, Izuku was no different and he didn’t have a quirk” she said her voice was light and reassuring. She smiled when she felt Katsuki squeeze her hand.

“I had a day off today and I told him to stay home with me because we never get to spend time together anymore. He told me he wanted to get a small day mission out of the way and then he’d come home earlier. I’m guessing the mission didn’t go as planned and now he’s here.” Katsuki sighed and squeezed Ochako’s hand once more before he let it go to run a hand through his hair. Ochako got a good look at his face and couldn’t help but laugh at the massive blood streak covering the side of his face. He looked over at her, looking irritated.

“What the fuck you laughing at, round face?” Katsuki asked, the bite to his voice wasn’t as intimidating with the blood on his face and the tears running down his face.

Ochako couldn’t contain her giggles even if she tried. “You look like Todoroki”

Katsuki huffed and glared at her, still unaware as to what she was referring to. Rustling of plastic bags caught his attention. He saw Ochako pull out what looked to be face wipes. “What’re those for?”

“You have blood on your face” she said between giggles. A packet of makeup wipes were shoved into Katsuki’s lap. Katsuki glared at her once more before opening the packet and pulling one out and wiping his face. He did make it worse but they both didn’t give a shit because they heard a soft ‘Kacchan’ coming from the bed in front of them.

Izuku opened his eyes, wincing when the light his his sensitive eyes. He looked around the very white room, the light making his eyes sting. Anxiety rising in his stomach, he felt sick, the white too overpowering. A hand on his shoulder made him turn his head. He was met with crimson eyes, full of panic. The rapid rising and falling of his chest slowing when he realised who it was. Kacchan. A small smile tugged at his lips as he tried to sit up, strong hands gripped his shoulders, stopping him.

“What are you? Fucking crazy? You’re gonna pull some stitches Jesus fucking Christ” he chuckled at Katsuki’s words. He couldn’t really remember anything. There was a mild stinging pain in his side, almost as if someone poked him with a small needle. His eyes met Katsuki’s, the previously panicked eyes softening when they looked into his green ones.

Izuku smiled at him, reaching his hand up to touch Katsuki’s face. “Hey, Kacchan” he said softly, his voice still thick with sleep.

Katsuki smiled down at him, bringing his hand up to his face to cover Izuku’s. “Hey, nerd. How’ya feelin’?”

“Sleepy. And a bit sore. What happened?” Izuku looked around the room, finally realising they were in a hospital. He layed back down in the very uncomfortable bed.

“You got a bit fucked up on a mission today but you’re fine now, I promise” Katsuki said, his voice quivering a small bit but Izuku didn’t notice. Izuku heard a bag rustling and looked behind Katsuki to see Ochako.

“Ochako! Why’re you here?” Izuku’s voice was as bright as it could be with the morphine wearing off. A small giggle escaped the girls lips and she came to stan beside Katsuki.

“I came here to make sure King Explosion Murder didn’t explode or murder anything” she said, her voice teasing. Katsuki didn’t look very impressed but did he ever? He pushed her shoulder with his free hand, making her erupt in more giggles. Izuku’s smile grew wider and before he knew it, he was laughing too. “Oh my god” Katsuki groaned, “it’s like taking care of children for fucks sake” he said and the giggles suddenly stopped. They all heard the door opening, their heads snapping up to see who it was. The same nurse from before stood at the door looking shocked. She quickly composed herself, a smile appearing on her face.

“Oh good, you’re awake. I was just coming to say visiting hours are over and I’m sorry Miss Uraraka, but you have to go, you can come back tomorrow at 9am.” the nurse looked over at the brunette, an apologetic smile on her face.

“Oh! Right, sorry. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, get better Deku.”she said, blowing them both a kiss before grabbing her things, leaving the bag with clothes on the floor and disappearing into the hallway.

“Mister Bakugou you can stay if you would like. I can ask for an extra bed” she smiled. Katsuki nodded at her and she left, leaving the men alone. The hands that were on Katsuki’s face were now resting on the bed. The small strokes of Katsuki’s thumb across Izuku’s knuckles made the green haired man sigh in content. Katsuki leaned down, his and Izuku’s faces millimetres apart. Izuku made the first move. He tilted his head to the side slightly and captured his husband’s lips with his own. Katsuki let go of Izuku’s hand and brought both of them to cup his face, stroking his freckled cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. The kiss was slow and gentle. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces, moving in perfect sync. They pulled away slowly, letting their foreheads touch and Izuku took this opportunity to rub their noses together, giggling when Katsuki scrunched his nose up in disgust. God he hated when Izuku did that.

“Oh I’m sorry gentlemen, just coming to deliver the bed” their heads turned to see two doctors wheeling a bed into the room. Katsuki moved out of the way and let them past him, watching as they clipped the beds together. The doctors left swiftly. “No-one’s come to fix my fucking foot yet but they sure as hell can deliver a whole ass bed in under 5 minutes” Katsuki said with a huff, making Izuku giggle.

“Cuddle me Kacchan!” Izuku demanded, lifting his good arm and making grabby hands at the irritated man at the foot of the bed. Katsuki walked over to the side of the bed and picked up the bag Ochako left him. He pulled out a plain black t-shirt and pulled it over his head, smirking when he saw Izuku eyeing him.

“Like what you see, nerd?” he teased, making Izuku blush and look away. Katsuki laughed and climbed into the bed, his face contorting to one of disgust when he felt how uncomfortable it was. Izuku giggled at his husband’s face, grabbing his arm and pulling him down so that his head was on the pillow and he was facing Izuku. They moved carefully, Katsuki putting his arm around Izuku’s shoulders, pulling him gently so that his head was resting on his chest. Izuku slung his good arm across Katsuki’s stomach. They sighed in content.

“Next time one of us has a day off, we both do. I don’t give a shit if the entire country is being blown up, we are staying home” Katsuki said. Izuku looked up at him and smiled.

“‘Course” Katsuki planted a kiss into Izuku’s mess of green curls. He was going to be okay.  

[hotshotshitshow]

i guess just because ive been on a roll lately and also oversharing is my lifelong passion i want to verbal diarrhea a lil bit about my own experience of coming to the conclusion that im a lesbian so pls feel free to ignore if u want or whatever i just have Lots Of Thoughts and i just want to get them out. this gets sort of weirdly long winded and shouty and ranty so im sorry. catharsis!

even now i still feel some level of .... idk? shame? regret? i dunno. about the fact that i didnt come to the conclusion that i was a lesbian until i was 25 bc that feels so late to me even though i know for a fact that there are countless other people who came to similar realizations about themselves when they were much older than me.

and ngl there is even a little bit of envy that there are so many kids so much younger than me who seem so sure of their identities (even though i know there are loads of kids who arent sure!!!) and there are moments where i catch myself thinking of myself as “less of a lesbian” because i didnt allow myself to face the fact that i was one until fairly recently ..... and i am still learning so much and trying to cultivate my own identity and just all around see myself as “less experienced” (whatever the fuck thats supposed to mean) than others which undoubtedly is a part of the massive chasm that all my self confidence gets sucked into daily.

but like obviously its not like just BOOM one day i was like “from here on out i am a lesbian now!!!!!!! :)” bc even from a very young age i was always more drawn to women and could not wrap my head around the idea that someday i would have to marry a man and completely idealized my mom’s best friend who was a big burly woman who drove a truck and wore flannels and knew that i wanted to be just like her when i grew up and never ever marry a dude (which in retrospect was sort of weird because my mom usually hates women like that and i grew up with her periodically warning me to “stay away from fucking dykes theyre mean awful ugly women”)

and then the always confusing for everyone period of middle school where i dated a boy for three days before breaking it off because the whole situation gave me more anxiety than i could deal with but i just chalked it up to me being an emotionally immature teen but also being completely obsessed with my best girl friend and wanting to impress her and have her attention all the time and being unable to understand why i was so upset when she started dating some  guy and me just assuming that i was upset because i had a crush on him that id never realized i had before

and then id go home and spend hours online looking up content for my favorite shoujo-ai anime ships and talking with other wlw on the gaiaonline guild forums and asking them questions about how you knew if you were gay or not and if liking almost exclusively girl/girl ships meant you were gay and only being told in response “plenty of heterosexual girls like girl/girl ships!! youre the only one who can tell if youre gay or not!! :)” and just feeling completely confused and alone and having no idea what to think!!!! and then having one day that i remember very specifically where i had a shining moment of clarity for all of half an hour where i thought “i AM a lesbian!!!” and feeling so happy in that moment before my brain took over with the thoughts of “but what if you come across one particular guy sometime...... can’t rule out that possibility” but i knew i really wanted to be a lesbian but just could not allow myself to think i was one

and then fast forwarding up to undergrad where i briefly dated an online guy friend (hi) for like. a month? and then abruptly breaking that off in the worst way possible because i had no fucking clue what i was doing and once again chalked it all up to being emotionally immature and from that moment out identified as aromantic because i figured there was something fucking wrong with me and romance was just not something i could do!!!!! and thinking there was absolutely no fucking way i could be a lesbian and it was completely not even remotely an option because there were certain aesthetic things about men that i appreciated and also never once having had a “proper crush” on anyone or at least not one that i could identify because everyone always talked about love feeling like fireworks and something big and id never felt that for anyone ever so obviously that meant i was incapable of love!!!! so i shoved the whole notion of trying to figure myself out way way way down and didnt look at it for years afterwards 

until i got into graduate school and for some fucking reason my brain decided it was time to dig all that old shit back up and i SUDDENLY COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN SCREAMS. and feeling more attracted to women than ever even though i always knew that i liked women 

and i still couldnt entertain the idea that i might be a lesbian because even though id been in a very happy relationship with beansly for a few years at that point and knew for a fact i was not aromantic there was still that thought of “Ok But What If You Meet One Guy Sometime”

and this sounds dumb as fuck but it wasnt until beansly straight up told me “if i had to label you id think you were a lesbian” that my brain went “what if theyre right” (TO WHICH I IMMEDIATELY WENT NOPE but acknowledged that the fact that they called me that made me feel really really good) (but kept thinking about that and kept bringing it back up to myself and ruminating over and over and over it) and then even more dumb as fuck i couldnt admit it to myself until i saw a fucking tumblr post that had something to the effect of “a common thing for lesbians who dont know theyre lesbians yet is that they really want to be a lesbian. its ok to be a lesbian” AND THEN I FUCKING CRIED LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING BABY AND HID UNDER MY BLANKIES but the fucking relief and validation my dude but then being presented with a whole new heap of Problems such as “how the fuck do i come out to people. everyone will think i am faking and Not Enough” and just having to deal with the struggle of owning that label and allowing myself to feel good about it and not let my brain convince me that i am somehow unworthy. and i am completely worthy because i love women and not men and thats the one fucking qualification i need to meet so my brain can go fuck itself into oblivion. ive spent so much time worrying over how much of myself i owe to men and holding myself back for a man that does not exist and will never exist and part of why i keep excitedly bringing up the fact that im a huge fucking lesbian is because in my mind its a huge testament to my personal progress and taking ownership over myself and no longer holding myself back over hypotheticals

so yeah anyway at the end of the day i still have so much more growing i need to do and i still see myself as a small shakey little chihuahua with a big mouth but i am a damn stronger person than i was even a year ago!!!! and learning that your attraction and what label you identify with is supposed to make you feel good was one of the best things i ever learned. i just really wish i could have had the self awareness or at least resources that i have now when i was younger and could have figured it out a little sooner. i know it doesnt make me “lesser” and technically i am still a very young person and have my whole life ahead of me but. idk i just wish id had it in me to be more honest with myself sooner. idk how other people can be so sure of themselves when they are so much younger. that just wasnt me i guess

[bpdfive]

tua tag game

rules: answer the questions and tag 1-5 blogs. I was tagged by @lesbianfivehargreeves !!

What made you watch tua? honestly im a little coffee addict so when i saw a gifset on here tht was like. five and everytime hes drinking coffee. i knew i had to watch it (also i read the comics like a few years ago but forgot everything about them until i saw tht gifset and i just recently re-read them and like wow. i really did forget literally everything other than “music girl hot and small child with puppy funny”) anyway id like to personally thank the person who made tht five with coffee gifset and im sad bc after tht one time i never saw it again

Which character initially caught your eye? five!!! little coffee man stabs. if theres anything i love its coffee and murder

How many times have you watched the season? i watched it once w my parents, twice on my own, once w my friend and i wanna watch it again w my gf 

What song on the soundtrack is your favorite? UGH i know this is cliche but Istanbul. like i have an excuse tho bc its been one of my fave songs for a while and having it associated w my fave character is even better 

What character did you dislike at first but like now? allison! at first i was firmly on vanyas side and i was like allison really thinks she can be a lil bitch and just waltz in and rumour her sister like this smh... dead to me....deserved to get cut... but after a few rewatches i re-evaluated wht her motivations in tht scene were and overall i started to like her character a bit better when i saw where she was coming from + after paying attention to her own struggles rather than just focusing on what she did to vanya

Which relationship is your favorite? five and klaus......my fucking,...drama queens.... give me more of them going just absolutely wild..... vanya voice: why did you guys burn down tht building klaus voice: ben is like all of our impulse control five voice: and lucky for me i cant hear him 

What is one thing you want to see in season 2? i CANT pick one thing im SORRY give vanya a gf and also lets see more of fives trauma and how he interacts w his siblings bc i feel like we got a very five vs his siblings view except for a few instances like make them actually work together !!! also more insight into klaus and bens powers  i dont have many tua friends so im tagging @fagriku @in-tua-deep @tsukkikages and yall can do it if you want to !!! no pressure u can totally ignore this 

[buttercreamficsx-blog]

Damaged Goods

Please could you do one where Jack gets raped? If you don't want to I understand and hope it isn't hard for you to write?💜

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A/N - if you get triggered by the subject of rape, please don't read this. I hope anyone reading this doesn't get upset as I have tried my best. I have tried to do justice to the subject as best as I can and don't want to offend or upset anybody. I understand how serious this subject is and by no means agree with or condone this kind of behaviour. I just wanted to bring awareness to the issue. Please do not hate me for what I have written xoxo

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Jack knew it wasn't a good idea. He knew he shouldn't have walked away from his drink and left it unguarded. He knew the first rule was to never leave your drink incase someone drugged it. But he did. And he would regret that choice for the rest of his life.

Him and the boys were in the club, having a night out. Jack had had a few drinks, he wasn't drunk, just a little tipsy. And he was enjoying himself. Really enjoying himself. He had just bought another drink, but as he was about to take it, he saw his brother motioning him over. Jack left the bar and his drink to go and speak to Conor.

“Jack, we're leaving in about half hour, make sure you're ready by then"

“Sure thing" Jack replied before returning to the bar. He didn't notice the odd taste in his drink. He didn't notice the eyes watching him from the other side of the room. He didn't notice he was in danger.

Jack was starting to feel lightheaded and a bit dizzy, so he stumbled outside to get a bit of fresh air. As his knees gave out, he felt someone grab his arm and hold him up. He looked up to see a large man, who looked to be a few years older than him.

“Careful there buddy, I think you've had a few too many"

“I'm fine, just a lil diz-dizzy" Jack slurred.

“Why don't you come over here and clear your head a little bit"

“No no 'm ok, my friends are waiting for me"

“It'll only take a minute. Come on, I'll look after you"

The man dragged Jack round the corner and down an alley. He pushed Jack up against the wall and stroked his cheek. Jack flinched and turned his head away.

“Please can I go, my friends will be looking for me"

“Now now, let's not rush this. I've been waiting all night to have you all to myself"

“W-what?"

“That's right. And now I've got you. All to myself. And nothing is going to spoil it for me"

“Help! Let me go!" Jack cried out, before the man slammed his hand over Jacks mouth to silence him. Jack struggled, but the man was stronger.

“Good boy good boy, I know you want it" he hissed into Jacks ear, the boys eyes widening in fear at the reality of what was happening.

Jack tears streamed down his face as the man yanked his trousers down and slammed him harder against the wall. Jack was crying, begging him to stop. But he wouldn't. He didn't. He did it. Jack cried out as it happened, wishing he could just die in that moment. He wondered what he had done to deserve this. Wondered why this happened to him. He eventually went slack. His body numb with pain, and he let it happen over and over again.

The man left him, alone in the alley, clothes torn and trousers on the ground. Jack was curled up against the wall, staring at his wrists where bruises were starting to form. He couldn't move. He was in too much pain. He was in shock. He heard his phone ringing, but he didn't move to answer it. It rang again and jack registered the ringtone. He reached his hand out and grabbed the phone from the floor. He answered without checking the ID.

“Jack?" He heard his brother say.

“Jack are you ok?" Jack couldn't reply.

“Jack! What's wrong with you?"

“Help" he managed to whisper.

“Oh my god what's happened. Jack talk to me. Where are you? What happened?"

“Corner. Drugged. Hurt" he mumbled, not really understanding what he was saying.

“I'm coming Jack, hold on" Conor said, already walking out the club. Conor looked down all the alleys he could see until he saw a figure hunched against the wall down one of them. He spirited down it until he reached the body.

"Jack!" He shouted, collapsing beside his brother.

“No! No! No! Get off!" Jack screamed, trying to move away.

“Hey hey, it's me conor. You're safe now, no one can hurt you"

Jack looked up at Conor and saw his big brothers eyes looking at him in concern.

“Con?"

“Yeah it's me. I'm gonna help you ok buddy? I'm gonna make it better"

“The man he-he" That was all Jack got out before he broke down crying. Tears streamed down his face as he gasped for breath. Conor grabbed his baby brother and pulled him onto his lap.

“Shh shh, I got you. I'm here. You're safe" He soothed, stroking Jacks hair.

“Don't let him hurt me. Please" Jack begged, mumbling into Conors shirt.

“I promise I won't. I'm going to take you to a hospital so they can check you over ok"

“No no no! No hospital! No more!" Jack screamed hysterically.

“Jack jack, calm down. You need help. And something happened. You're hurt. You need a doctor"

“You can't leave me. You can't let him get me"

“I'll never let him get you. Just let me take care of you" Conor said, pulling Jack up to stand. It was then that Conor noticed the absence of clothing on Jacks lower half and he gasped. It all made sense. Conor linked it all together and shed a tear when he realised what had happened to his baby brother. Jacks knees gave out, as he stood and fell into his brother. Conor held him against him as he grabbed his phone and dialed 999.

The ride to the hospital was agonising. Jack held onto Conors hand like it was a lifeline. As soon as someone tried to ask Conor to leave, Jack screamed and threw a fit. The doctors had ended up sedating him to make sure Jack didn't harm himself. As Jack was wheeled into the room, Conor was held back, and left to talk to a doctor. He was told to fill in the forms and wait for news about his sibling. The wait was torture for Conor. For hours he sat there, waiting for news about Jack, not knowing what was going on. Eventually a doctor came out and told Conor that he could go in to see him. They filled him on Jacks condition, but Conor already knew. He already knew what that man did to his brother.

Conor gasped as he walked in Jacks room. His brother looked so small, so innocent. The wires seemed to cover his whole body and he was as pale as the white sheet beneath him. He walked over and sat besides him. He grabbed his hand and spoke to him softly.

“Hey buddy"

“Hi" He rasped out.

“How you doing?"

“Hurts. Tired"

“I know. You'll be better soon though"

“I won't"

“Huh?"

“I can't get him out my head. Every time I close my eyes he's there" jack whimpered, tears falling from his eye.

“Hey hey, shhh. We'll get you help. We'll help you get better"

“Please don't leave" he whispered, clutching Conors hand.

“I won't leave. Not now. Not ever"

“Promise?"

“I promise. Now get some rest buddy, it'll all be ok soon"

And Conor kept his promise. He never left Jacks side until he was ready to come home. He comforted Jack when he had nightmares. Dragged him out of flashbacks. Held him when he was down and talked him out of his negative thoughts. He did his best, and it worked. Jack was getting better, slowly but surely. And one day, maybe he would be able to trust everybody again. And maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when he was reminded of what happened. Regardless, Conor was going to stand by his brother and make sure he never got hurt again.

[kiligilig]

i was tagged by @biancangelo thanks honey 💖💖 (and i will never get tired of you tagging me in things haha)

rules: answer the following 92 questions and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my friend olivia, we were at the mall w a group of ppl and i was wondering where she was at lol

3. text message: my dad, he said “omw”

4. song you listened to: brother by needtobreathe ✌️

5. time you cried: friday night it was soo pathetic im so glad no one saw me

HAVE YOU:

6. dated someone twice: its funny bc whoever made up this tag thought ive ever dated someone lmao

7. kissed someone and regretted it: ^

8. been cheated on: ^

9. lost someone special: yup

10. been depressed: yupp

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: the most alcohol ive ever had is a sip of wine at church lmao

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. lavender

13. millenial pink

14. black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yuppp and i love them

16. fallen out of love: not sure ive ever been in it

17. laughed until you cried: yess

18. found out someone was talking about you: not that i recall

19. met someone who changed you: definitely

20. found out who your friends are: yup

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yall acting like ive been w someone romantically hahahah

GENERAL:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i dont got a fb, but idk any of my tumblr friends irl (i still love them very much however)

23. do you have any pets: a goldfish named fishie

24. do you want to change your name: nope nope nope

25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friends and i did some painting and drank boba it was great

26. what time did you wake up: 5:30ish am pst

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping(?)

28. name something you cant wait for: halloweenn

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like a lil bit ago shes downstairs lol

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wish my mental state wasnt so fucked up

31. what are you listening to right now: nothing

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: none that i recall??

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my crush,, is so confusing like wth what are tjese mixed signalsnsjsjsk

34. most visited websites: uhh,, google? idk i use my phone for everything so i dont rlly use the internet

35. mole(s): a few all over my body, but theyre rlly small like the size of freckles

36. mark(s): stretch marks and a couple scars

37. childhood dream: i hellaa wanted to be a singer,, too bad i cant sing lmao

38. hair color: dark brown/black

39. long or short hair: long, almost to my hips

40. do you have a crush on someone: YUPP, i got a couple posts abt him on here, tagged as yams

41. what do you like about yourself: my writing, my hair, my style, my grades, the way i love so fully (though it can be my downfall sometimes) (tfw youre trying to be positive abt yourself bc you usually arent hhahah)

42. piercing(s): just the typical ones on my earlobes

43. blood type: o(??)

44. nickname: none but call me whatever u like :)

45. relationship status: single (but hopefully i wont be soon hahhahaah)

46. zodiac: pisces

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: i dont watch anything on tv except food network and hgtv lmaoo

49. tattoos: none and i dont want any

50. right or left hand: right

51. surgery: ive never had one, but im probably gonna get laser eye surgery when im older bc my eyesight hella suckss

52. hair dyed in different color: never have and never will, i lovee my natural color

53. sport: nopenopenope (but i like to watch basketball and american football tho)

54. favorite accessory: the bracelet my friend made for me :) she beaded rose quartz on it because it represents self love and she knows i struggle w that :’))

55. vacation: i visited the grand canyon and the hoover dam (hahahahahhahahaha) over the summer but it was hella boring lmao, but i did go to las vegas as well and that was fun (but it was stinky and the sexualization of women was heavy and i didnt even see the lotus hotel so what was the point)

56. pair of trainers: ??? i wear some to pe ???

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: plain white jasmine rice is good w anything, also i love chocolate

58. drinking: i just like water bc im healthy like that (what a joke lol)

59. im about to: take a nap

60. waiting for: for my crush to like me back hahahah

61. want: my crush to notice me and be my best friend uhsjkks

62. get married: its actually one of the things i want most in life, hopefully when im around 24-26

63. career: author? lawyer? idek

WHICH IS BETTER:

64. hugs or kisses: HUGS but i like kisses too

65. lips or eyes: eyesss (but lips are pretty too (hes got a nice smilensjsjsk))

66. shorter or taller: idk what u mean man everyone is taller than me lmao, but if u mean abt myself i like my height, and in terms of an s/o id prefer them to be taller

67. older or younger: this is gonna lead to some philosophical ass questions soo ima just leave it alone

68. nice arms or nice stomach: idrc bruh

69. sensitive or loud: im cool w being boisterous but ppl who are too rowdy get me so tired,, just gotta find that balance

70. hookup or relationship: definitely relationship, im too emotional

71. troublemaker or hesitant: again, gotta find that balance ya feel? cant be too scared all the time bc life wont be interesting but u cant be putting yourself in danger and getting in trouble all the time

HAVE YOU EVER:

72. kissed a stranger: no

73. drank hard liquor: no

74. lost glasses/contact lenses: i dont,, rlly know??

75. turned someone down: yupp lmao i was in fifth grade and he asked me out over text like,, binch

76. had sex on the first date: uhhh no, ive never even been on a date??

77. broken someone’s heart: yes platonically, idk about romantically

78. had your heart broken: yes platonically

79. been arrested: no

80. cried when someone died: yes

81. fallen for a friend: my crushes have only ever been my friends??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

82. yourself: ,,,

83. miracles: yes definitely

84. love at first sight: no no and no, thats definitely just infatuation

85. santa claus: i want to but in my heart its just,,,

86. kiss on the first date: not for me personally, but for others idc as long as its consensual

OTHER:

87. current best friend: i dont rlly know,, the whole “best friend” concept has been kinda ruined for me

88. eye color: brown

[dealersofatlanta]

Part 1: Chapter 1

Year: May 10th 2006

 (So everything happens fast because each chapter is leading up to present day) The story starts with Omari, Ace and Jade, they are not the only main characters throughout the story I will introduce the rest in total it should be 6 POVS this was really hard to write cause I have so many 1st chapter drafts. Idk if I wanted to do a book about the past or both)

  Omari: age 21

“(Georgia), We on the grind in (Georgia), All the time it isn’t nothing on my mind but (Georgia) We ain’t playing with ya (Georgia)” Georgia by Ludacris played in my car as we rode through the west side. It was just me, my mama, and my brother. My daddy died when I was 7, my mom was still pregnant with my brother Ace. We live in the worst projects on our side of town Wood Ridge. Niggas always get killed and robbed over here. I pulled up at the Citgo, my brother Ace hopped out. “Yo wassup O” A nigga I knew named Shy. “Wazzam Shy” I said dapping him up. “You still looking for work?” He asked. I nodded. “Something like that, what’s up?” I asked. He pointed over to a man in a Hummer H2, with the windows down. Money in The Bank” By Lil Scrappy in his car. “Yo I heard about him, niggas scared of him” I said to him. He waved me over to follow him to the car. “What’s up D, this is O. He looking for a job” He told him. The light skin dude with tats on his neck looked over at me. He looked me over one good time before turning down his music. “You need money huh?” He asked. I looked around my surroundings. “Yeah, uh we bout to get evicted and shit, and My mama struggling right now” I told him. He nodded. “You got a phone?” He asked. I nodded pulling out my Nokia. He slid up my screen to get to the key pad. He then passed me my phone back. “Holla at me around 6pm and Ima make something shake for you” He told me before rolling up his window. I looked at the phone. I see the name Demetri in my phone. I was walking back to my car when I see Ace sitting on the hood of my car talking to some bitch. “Yeah, you fine as hell shawty, let you up sometime” He said. She blushed. “Aight, Ima give you my number but if you going to call, call at 9 pm that’s when my minutes is free” She said. He nodded and let her put her number in his Metro Phone. I slapped the back of his head. “Nigga get the fuck in my car and stop fucking with these hoes” I told him laughing at how mad he got. Ace had a bad temper. Mama say he get it from Our father. We pulled up and the apartments. Bitches was already fighting outside in the parking lot. “Beat her ass Kita” Her friend yelled. Ace squinted his eyes and his eyes got big, he hopped out the car and ran over to the girls fighting. It was his friend Jade. “Aye nah yall chill” He said pushing the girls off. He grabbed Jade. “Nah uh Ace that bitch deserve to get her ass beat for fucking my nigga” She yelled. Jade spit blood on her air forces. “Bitch I told you your man and I aint fuck, he tried to get in my pants and I said no” She stressed. I shook my head and walked into the house. My mama Traci was on the couch watching Maury. I kissed her on the cheek. “Hey mama” I said to her. She nodded. “Where’s Ace?” She asked. “He outside with Jade” I told her. She sucked her teeth in. “Her auntie been running her mouth about that girl, saying she be fucking the whole apartments” My mama told me. “Anyways, I got a job. I mean I think I got one” I told her. She smiled and looked over at me. “That’s good baby, what is it?” She asked. I shrugged. “I got to call and see” I said. She nodded. Ace busted in the house with Jade. “Aye, boy what is wrong with you coming in here like that!” Mama yelled. He grabbed Jade hand and brought her into the bathroom. My mama shook her head. I stood by the bathroom door. Ace was cleaning off Jade. She had blood coming out her nose and a cut near her eye brow, and her eye was swollen. “You need to learn how to fight and stop letting these hoes jump on you shawty, better start clocking them hoes with a motherfucking bottle or something” I told Jade. “I told her to start carrying a knife, so she can gut them hoes” Ace said. I shook my head. Nigga was ruthless for no reason. I walked into my room and went to my stereo. I went through my CD’s I burned. I put the cd in the player and pressed play. “Créme de la créme homie, Top Shelf ya know. I like my beat down low down low down low down low, I like my top led back led back led back” T.I - “Top Back” blasted through my speakers. I grabbed my car magazine, took a pen and begin circling the cars I planned on getting when I get some big money. My Nokia started ringing. I looked at my caller id, it was my little shawty Jalissa. “What up Girl?” I asked. I heard her giggle on the phone. “O, you busy later?” She asked. I sat up on my bed. “Nah, why what’s up you trying to kick it?” I asked. She hesitated. “Something like that, T.I movie ATL just came out and I want to know if you trying to see it with me, maybe at Starlight on Moreland it starts at 10:15pm?” She asked. I smiled, I knew what she was getting at. “Sure, Ima pull up around 9, maybe we can get some snacks and some shit” I told her. I could hear her smile through the phone. “Aight bet” I looked at the time. It was 5:57. I started dialing Demetri’s number. “Yo who is this?” He answered. “This O from the gas station, I asked you about a job” I said. “Aight Ima call you back”. He hung up. I then got a call from another phone number. “Hello?” I asked. “What’s up O, rule # 1 the feds always watching so never call me about business or call anyone on your actual phone, Ima give you a phone when I see you, meet me tomorrow @ 12pm Ima send you my address” He said then hung up.

 Ace: age 15

 “Why you let the hoes talk shit about you?” I asked her. She was sitting at my desk at my computer. She was adding music to her Myspace. “They say

He do a little this

He do a little that

He always in trouble (and I heard)

He ain’t nothin’ but a pimp

He’s done a lot of chicks

He’s always in the club (and they say)”

“So, what?” by Field Mob played from her page. She shrugged. “Nobody going to believe me anyways”. I looked over at her. “So, you don’t be fucking these niggas?” I asked. She turned and looked at me. “No, why would you even ask me that, them bitches be lying. Niggas always trying to get in my pants. Even grown ass men” She said looking at me like she regretted what she said. “Forget I said that” She said. “Why do you even care?”. I shrugged. “I mean, I don’t if you did but like you kind like my little sister so I want to know”. I said. She rolled her eyes. “Sister?” She asked. I nodded. “Yeah like I got to protect you, and shit” I said. She sucked her teeth in. “I don’t need your protection Ace, I can protect myself” She said. She got up and put on her shoes. “Well you the one always knocking on my window at damn random times of the night needing a place to sleep, like you ain’t got your own” I said to her. She pushed me out the way. I balled my fist up. I had a bad temper, and she knew it but when it came to her, I never showed her that side. “What you going to hit me?” She said she was holding back watery eyes. “Go ahead, I’m used to it” She said. I looked at her wondering who was hitting on her. Was she talking about fighting? “Thanks for having me over Ms. Traci” I heard her say before the door shut to the front door. I debated on going after her, but I didn’t. I looked through my contacts. I remember the girl from at the gas station. “Hey baby girl what’s up?” I asked. “Who is this?” She asked. “You forgot about me that fast baby, its Ace” I said. I heard her smile. “Ohhh yeah, Ace. You want to kick it right now? My mama ain’t home” She said. I got up slowly. “Oh, for real?” I asked. “Yeah, Ima send you my address. I live at the apartments right across from the gas station” She said. “Okay Ima slide through” I hung up the phone. “Hey mama I’ll be back Ima go to my friend Raheem house” I told her. She nodded. I went outside and started walking to the gas station it wasn’t too far from my house like a 30min walk. “Ace where you headed?” My homie Calvin said pulling up beside me. “To this bitch house” I told him. He nodded. “Get in folk, I take you” He said. I nodded. I looked at his outfit he had on all purple. “Where you headed looking like a got damn grape Fanta?” I asked. He laughed. “Man, this my colors” he said. “What you down or something?” I asked. He nodded “Yeah I’m down with Westside 5” He told me. I nodded. “Oh, for real, uh congrats I guess” I said laughing. He laughed. “Man, you goofy as fuck, but fuck with us though we always need new people” He told pulling into the apartments. I dapped him up as he stopped. “Thanks, Patna” He nodded. I walked up to shawty complex. Before I could even knock, she opened the door. She had nothing but a T-shirt on. “Took you long enough nigga” She said grabbing my shirt.

 I pulled up my pants and buckled my belt. “So, my mama going to be gone, around this time every Friday” She said. I smiled and nodded. “What school you go to I ain’t never seen you around” I said. She smiled. “I go to Jefferson Highschool, what about you?” She asked. I started laughing. “How old you is?” I asked. She was putting on her bra. “17, how old are you?” She asked. I smiled big as fuck. “I’m 15” I told her. She shook her head. “Boy you look 18, dang you must be in what 8th grade?” She asked. I nodded. “Yeahh you can be my cuddy buddy, you ain’t old enough to be my man” She said. I sucked my teeth in. “I aint gon hold you I just wanted to fuck, but Ima fuck with you” I grabbed my phone and dipped. It was about 8:12 when I checked my phone. Shit I got to walk by the crackheads and the dope boys just to get home. “Aye yo little nigga you down?” Some nigga asked me as I walked by. “Down for what?” I asked. “I seen you riding with Cal, he one of us” They said. I noticed they had on purple. “Man, I ain’t trying to bang” I told them. “You see all the nice shit we got man we can get you some money for real nigga” I noticed the cars they were next to and shit. I nodded. “Okay what I got to do?” I asked. “This”. Next thing I know these niggas start beating my ass.

 Jade: age 14

 I was sitting on the stairway near our apartment writing music in my journal like I normally did listening to Ashanti and Lloyd “Southside” on my CD Player. “Jade get yo dumb ass in here” My aunt Felicia said. I sighed and walked inside. I closed the door and went into my room. “It’s almost the end of the school year. You got what 2 weeks left before summer vacation. It’s about time you get a damn job and start paying rent around here, you got to earn your keep. Ain’t bout to live up in here rent free” She said in the door way. I scoffed at her. “I’m 14, I can’t legally get a job until I’m 16 that’s not fair” I stressed. She put her finger in my face. “I started working for my foster mother at age 12, she used to sell me for $50, and I would get 10%. So, if I can do it so can you, and what the fuck happened to yo got damn face” She said. I looked at her. “I got into a fight with this girl” She shook her head. “What you do now fuck her man, you just like your mama” She said. I sighed. “No and Why didn’t you just let foster care take me!” I yelled. She grabbed my arm. “I did you a favor, Me and your mama bounced from foster care to foster care. She begged me to never let them take you, so I took you in after her stupid crack head ass ran off. That’s least I could do for her after she fucked my man and had you” She said. I started tearing up, I tried to snatch my arm away from her. She pushed me on to the bed. “Like I said you have 2 weeks or Ima let your ass go” She said. She slammed my door. I hated my life; my life didn’t used to be like this. I had two parents a mother and a father. My dad used to be there all the time and then one day he just wasn’t. My mama couldn’t take the pain of him leaving so she got hooked on drugs when I was 5. She been clean off and on when my dad was around but when he left it got worse. My aunt to eventually take me in before foster care put me in the system because My mama had left me in the house one day when her and her boyfriend James was cooking crack on the stove. My house caught on fire while I was sleep. I ain’t seen my mama since that day. I decided to write in my journal again, that was my haven, writing and listening to music. “My Life” By Mary J. Blige played on my stereo as I cried. My Aunt Felicia busted into my room. “Get yo ass up and come eat and stop blasting music in my house” She said. I wiped my tears and went to go sit down at the table. It was Kraft mac n cheese and hot dogs cut up in it. My Aunts boyfriend Rodney sat down with two bags of McDonalds and they started eating. My aunt either cooked me this or beanie weenies, Ramon noodles with hot dogs or sometimes just some bread and butter. I kept my head down while I ate my food. “Jade clean this shit up while I’m gone. I want all that food gone by the time I get home or Ima beat your ass” She said. I nodded. She went over to Rodney, practically sucking his face off before she left. He got up and locked the door. He pulled out an apple pie out his bag. “Got you something sweet, sweetness” He told me. He slid it to me. Rodney was always nice to me but I knew something about him wasn’t right. “Thanks” I said. He sat in the chair next to me. “You know you are very pretty” He told me. I nodded. I got up quickly, as he grabbed my arm back over to him. “I ain’t going to hurt you”. He said. “Sit on my lap” He said. “No!” I yelled as he tried to get me to sit on his lap. I got my arm lose and ran to my room. I closed my door and locked it. I grabbed some clothes put it in my school bag and slid my window open. Rodney burst into my room. I quickly jumped onto the ac unit under my window. I ran to the other side of the complex, I seen Niggas was playing dice in the stair way as I walked to Ace complex. “What’s good lil mama you tryna sell some ass?” I heard. I shook my head. I got to Ace building and walked to the side of it. I tapped on his window. I ain’t see no movement. I tapped again. “So, you back?” I heard a voice behind me. It was Ace. It was dark, so I couldn’t see his face very good. He came over to his window and did something to it and it slid open and climbed inside slowly. He was wincing like he was in pain. I followed him soon after. “If I ain’t home and you need a place to lay your head just lift up the screen and slide. O taught me that trick” He turned on his light and I see his face. He eye was swollen, and his lip was bug as hell. He was limping around. I walked over to him. “Ace you okay?” I asked. He nodded. “I’m part of Westside 5 now” He said smiling with his teeth bleeding. He held up a shirt and a bandana. I shook my head at him. “You stupid, you got jumped in?” I asked. He nodded. “Yeah but they make hella money” I kept shaking my head. “You stupid as hell Ace” I told him. He sucked his teeth in. “Why you over here anyways?” He asked. I shrugged. “Cause I hate it at my aunts house” I told him. “She be hitting you?” He asked. I shrugged. “Sometimes, she said I got to get a job soon” I said. “I think she want me to sell my ass” I told him. He was in his boxers looking at me. “She got me fucked up, I ain’t bout to let you do that. I got you man. I’m get you some money” He said. He threw me a shirt and some boxers. “Well maybe I can get jumped in” I said. He limped over to me grabbing me. “Don’t say shit like that” He said. We looked at each other for a minute. “I’m just playing sorry” I went into the bathroom in the hall way to change. When I came back in the room. Ace was icing his face. I shut the door and went to lay down on the bed. “As long as I’m here I got you J” He said. I nodded. I put my headphones on and listened to my cd I had burned. “Nobody going to love me better, I must stick with you forever, nobody going to take me higher, I must stick with you. You know how to appreciate me, I must stick with you my baby. Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick with you” I was feeling the lyrics of the Pussycat dolls. I started writing in my journal.

[ummm3ummmmm5]

I cannot emphasize enough how after chapter 8 of royal romance book 2 I’m disappointed by the change in betrand like up until that point I really enjoyed him he was pretty multifaceted. Then they bring in savannah (who has 0 personality btw) and that’s suddenly betrands only character trait

It’s just disappointing that they sacrificed betrand for a drake storyline that isn’t even that interesting or for character growth

Think of what we could’ve had if betrand stayed the same:

-actual conversations with him if you chose to romance Maxwell

-actual brother development as betrand started to see Maxwell take his life and parenthood seriously with mc (even if they kept the savannah timeline with bartie, if they hadn’t fucked up betrand, Maxwell could be going to him and panicking)

-the absolute struggle and fear in book 3 with the danger of his lil sister and her happiness

-betrand offering up actual life advice when she gets her duchy

-betrand talking about his dad coming back to Maxwell! Betrand reacting to that AT ALL!!!!!

-betrand talking with Riley’s li in a brotherly tone you know the one where he pulls he’s head of house Beaumont and even if you’re king or a lowly commoner hell fuck you up

-opening up to mc about the house struggles as she rules her duchy and her trying to help

-no yeehaw hell with drakes STUPID aunt! (Even if it means we’ll lose his amazing bachelor party but that could’ve been the li’s (baring Hanna ofc but still)!!!!!)

-even if there was yeehaw hell, if they kept writing betrand well we could’ve had actual character development instead of him pussying out and suddenly just being okay with living a yeehaw life after like 40 years of being a lord

-UNCLE BETRAND?!?!? 😭😭😭

To everyone who’s going to say this stuff might happen id like to throw out that we have seen betrand only for the stupid yeehaw adventure in royal heir and I’m pretty sure he’s never coming back in the same capacity

[diondecarnate]

EXTREMELY LONG rant about Dororo below the cut, all spoilers no context so if u havent seen the 2019 Dororo anime this probs isnt for u but i needed to put all of this somewhere to cope cause bruh

dororo is so good n just so fucking tragic

you have this Asshole of a dude who decides to take the easy way out but also like, if you have all these people under you, relying on you, i think that its kinda understandable to want them to have a prosperous and good life. daigo just went about doing that for 

1- the completley wrong reasons, not to get all Good Place on this but he wanted the land prosperous so that he would have more power, not necessarily so his people would be healthy and well-cared for. I think this is shown in the final few episodes where he carelessly grabs people and horses from the villages, uncaring if he is hurting those left behind. His only focus is on growing and keeping his power. 

and 2- he does it in the completley wrong way, like really?? youre going to go to making a deal with demons? I suppose in the show he does say he exhausted all other options but still,,,,, bruh,,,, you had to have known deep down that this was not gonna end well. daigo is just a complete shithead honestly, and i completley hate him. 

theres definitely a part of me that really wanted Hyakkimaru to kill him at the end, however I do honestly think the end he got was the best one. It made sense given where Hyakkimaru was at at the end of the show, and also I think it doesnt actualy fall into the whole “if i killed you id be just like you!” dumb thing, and instead feels more like he gets ignored in a sense? like, he gets his moment of drama and everything, and of course Hyakkimaru was going to have to deal with him n get closure, but after daigo goes all “bleh just kill me, then i can rule over hell (??? i guess dude)” Hyakkimaru was just like, nah dude, peace n left. It really gave him very little screentime in the end, which is exactly what he deserved. plusssss he didnt seem like he was in v good shape so lets just say he died of “too much realizing i fucking suck as a person” or whatever

Tahomaru.................. bruh even thinking about him makes me wanna fucking cry like... can you imagine being 15 years old and finding out you have a brother you never knew, and that if your brother lives your entire land is (supposedly) going to die. like, Tahomaru is the next leader of this provence, and unlike his terrible father, he actualy cares about his people very deeply. So when given the insane problem of either killing his older brother, or watching all his people suffer, he choses what I think I also would have chosen!! especially at 15 holy shit, he is a teenager being asked to make this fucking terrible choice n it just fully fucking sucks. 

Tahomaru fully deserved better, and I will take every AU that says him n Hyakkimarus moms got the fuck out of there n survived, living on n being able to hang with Hyakkimaru n be bros........................... can u imagine................. doing the forehead thing.............Hyakkimaru is like “another lil bro!! hell yeah dude”................. I cry...................

also Mutsu and Hyogo deserved so much better oh my GOD the number one crying scene for me was that one like theyre all like TEENAGERS!!!!!! and theyre all fighting n then these TEENAGERS fucking DIE!!!!!!!! like theyre Tahumaros friends and seeing him grieve for them......... it broke me dude........ even if those three were kinda out of it on demon energy at the time,,, theyre doing their best.......

also real quick i cannot believe they got me attached to a horse so quick only to just as quickly make me cry over it like fuckin rapidash was so good n she just wanted to get back to her kid and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ok so now that scene im gonna be bitter about forever, like yea sure i GUESS given their personalities, and assuming Tahomaru was dying already with no hope of survival, i can see why they all just stayed in the burning fuckin building. I can even accept Nui (bio mom) staying behind. She had very big sad energy the whole series, and especially that episode was so gd depressed, and with her younger son dying on the floor. I think she was right to go to him (for once,,,, like i get one of her kids got sacrificed to demons n shit n thats super sad but ur just gonna ignore the other one?? also bad!!!) so i think her doing that was actualy a very nice gesture, and closed that up nicely.

 But Jukai???????????????? what the fuck dude!!! get the fuck out of there!!! Theres no reason he shoulda stayed, besides his whole self sacrificing thing n i guess??? he decided thats what the goddess of mercy wanted???????? him to do???????? for some reason?????/ like if it had been daigo, sure that woulda made sense. but what the fuck??? Jukai kinda just felt like he died just to make that scene more sad, n felt super unnecessary. 

ESPECIALLY since the last ep we saw him in at the end he had like regained his will to live!!!!!!!!! hence why the ghoul went after him!!!!!! it was explicitly stated that he got that back!!!!!! so why the fuck did he just throw that in the trash at the end there???? the only thing i can think of is him not wanting to leave Nui alone which like.............. I???? Guess?????????? but also no????? just fucking go and be with ur kid dude, what the fuck. 

THEN theres Hyakkimaru just fucking bouncing after all that, no goodbye or anything just fuckin leaves Dororo which feels absolutely wild and kinda ooc, like ok......... hes going........ on a journey..... of self discovery................................................. then what was the whole series about?????? i guess in the original manga n such he left at the end, but it was for a completley different reason that actualy made sense n didnt feel so... weird n tbh kinda forced,,,,,,, but ahh whatever the last shot of them meeting again when they were older was cute so i guess thats,,, fine,,,,

I really fuckin loved this anime, the way they portray Hyakkimaru before hes gained any bits back, and as he slowly gains them over the series, is very good imo. they coulda easily been like “yea he can talk now!! so he can just fully talk cause weird magic :)” but instead we get to see Hyakkimaru struggle pretty realistically with every part thats gained back, which is kinda satisfying n nice in a way imo. I like it a lot. also the constant issure of “do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” is just so good cause like on one hand i fuckin love Hyakkimaru and want him to get his body back, of course!! but on the other hand, when you start to see the people of diagos land suffering and such,,,,,, and know that coulda probably been avoided if Hyakkimaru had just died (tho listen, deals with demons always go bad so probs smth else woulda happened) its fuckin sad as hell. 

But also at the end when Hyakkimaru is just like “its my fucking body! give it back it doesnt belong to you!!” hell YES dude you tell them 

also the way you feel bad for every fuckin person (except daigo, who can and should choke) is very very good. 

anyways i know ive barely talked about Dororo here but thats because shes perfect and i have no criticisms, and also she got the happy end she deserved even if im sure she punched Hyakkimaru VERY HARD for just up and leaving when they reunited. but bruh, tbh thats exactly what he deserves for pulling a stunt like that lmao. 

in any case, Dororo is an extremely good anime and I immediately want to watch all of it again, with the knowledge that in my AU daigo fuckin died after that camera cut away, and Jukai totally hauled Nui and Tahomaru the fuck outta there n theyre living on Hyakkimarus good good rice farm together happy n healing n good.