#and that vote felt different enough it felt like just taking out all of them made more sense than trying to pick what to cut or combine

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Honey Girl. Chapter Six.

Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight. Chapter Nine. Chapter Ten. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Synopsis - You finally start to appreciate the happiness that having a soulmate brings.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. so much fluff.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5k

Author's Note - the sixth installment!! thank you to everyone who voted in my poll - I listened, and decided to make this chapter as sweet as pie, because I think we all need it. it's nice to have a little break from the angst. just a liiiiittle break though. a tiny one. as always, thank you for all of your love and support and enthusiasm and patience and kindness towards this story. so much love for every one of you. <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Inbox.

"Are you happy?"

You stretch your feet further into the sand and sit up, wiggling to get comfortable on the picnic blanket.

"That's a big question to start with."

Stella laughs and closes her notebook, deciding to take a different route than originally planned.

"I just mean... be honest with me. I'm not gonna be offended if you say no."

"Do you think I'm gonna say no?"

"Do you always have to answer my questions with questions?"

You tilt your head and watch her, smiling softly.

"I thought this was supposed to be an employee performance review."

"You're not my employee and you know it."

Both of you laugh, the sound whipped away by the sea breeze.

"Then what am I, Stella?" you chuckle.

"You're basically my partner. Come on, we've done all of this together. You helped me build this business from the ground up - I couldn't have done it without you."

You go to protest, so she continues.

"I think you should be. My partner, that is. Obviously there's logistics to work out, but it'd be fifty fifty. You and I, co-owners. It doesn't feel right to me that you're my 'employee'. I'm not your boss. We're equals."

Your mind is running a mile a minute, trying to process what Stella's asking of you. Being her business partner is an opportunity you know is rare and incredibly special - and it could potentially set you up for life - but you can't help but think about the fact it's a big commitment. About home. About Bucky.

"You don't have to answer me right now - I just want you to think about it. We always talked about opening up businesses of our own. I should have asked you to be my partner at the beginning, but honestly... I didn't know if you were gonna stick around. It kinda felt like you had one foot out the door when we started."

You take a deep breath, nodding.

"Yeah. I, uh - I think I did. Don't get me wrong, I was super excited, but the idea of moving away when I felt like I'd just got home was a lot to process. I'd just settled back there, and then I was gonna be packing up all of my stuff again and shipping myself across the country. "

"I didn't realise it was so tough for you, you know. I just assumed you wouldn't mind moving. I mean, you were always up for it, back at school."

"Things changed, after I graduated. I got home, and a couple of things happened and I guess it just... turned everything upside down. Home is different now. In a good way, I think."

"You're different now, too."

You look at her carefully, half attempting to read her mind.

"How do you mean?"

"You're... more grounded. More careful. You think through everything way more than you ever did. Almost like you've realised you're not invincible anymore."

There's a feeling, when you're young, that you're indestructible. Unharmable. Broken bones mend, cuts and bruises heal, hearts and minds forget about their aches if you give them long enough.

Then one day, that feeling is gone. And you realise that you're mortal - made of flesh and blood and bones that will one day be returned to the Earth, whether you like it or not.

Meeting your soulmate is like having that realisation again, but bigger. Again, and again, and again. You don't live for yourself, anymore. You live for them. The pain they'd feel if they lost you is unfathomable, completely unimaginable.

So you become more careful. Less reckless. You drive a little slower, take things a little easier, quit your dangerous hobbies and unhealthy habits. You need to be alive for as long as possible. And you know your soulmate will do the same.

That's how you can tell a Tethered person from an Untethered one. Ask two people to go skydiving with you, and the Tethered one will tell you no. They can't risk it. It's not worth it.

Stella's right. You have realised you're not invincible anymore. You're a little more cautious when you climb ladders, you don't balance precariously on the kitchen counters anymore. You look twice when you cross the street, and don't risk it if there's a car coming and you could maybe get across.

You're also painfully aware that Bucky's older than you. He'll be turning forty in less than two years. Sure, he's not ancient, but it does mean you'll have less time together than Lacie will with Cameron, for example. And that hard truth makes you live a little less recklessly, every single day.

"I guess I just... grew up."

You're honestly not sure why you don't just tell Stella about Bucky. You know she'd understand. But there's a part of you that feels protective over what you have - territorial, even. Your Tethering is sacred, almost, and you feel the primal urge to guard it with your life. To lock it in a box and keep it away from anything that could harm it. The less people that know, the less damage that can be done. Maybe.

"I did too. The world is kinda scary now we're not in that little culinary school bubble, huh?"

"Yeah," you laugh. "We thought that was hard. Little did we know."

"Take your time, thinking about my offer. But just know that I really, really appreciate the fact that you're here. That you believed in me enough to move across the country. It means a lot."

"Of course," you say, reaching across to grab her hand. "I always believed in you, Stella. I always knew you'd do something great."

"We'd."

"Hmm?"

"We'd do something great. The two of us. Together."

"I always knew that we'd do something great," you correct.

You're starting to believe that, as time goes on. You were born to do this. You deserve to live your dreams.

Let the happiness seep through, you'd told yourself.

It finally feels like it is.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

"There's a guy here to see you."

Isabel pops her head around the door, grinning at you like she knows something you don't.

"Again?"

She nods, giggling.

"Let me guess... he's hot, tall, brown hair?"

"Bingo."

"Thanks, Isa. I'll be right out. Is it busy out there?"

"It's quieter than it was. There was a pastry rush this morning, but we're good now."

You laugh and hang up your apron, washing your hands quickly before making your way to the café.

You feel like you're having déjà vu, this situation oddly familiar.

Just like Isa said, he's stood waiting with his back to you, broad shoulders filling out his powder blue short sleeve button up.

You're excited to see Rafael again. You've been trying a new cookie recipe for his sister, and you're eager to get him to try it. You're mentally making a note to buy a nice box to put them in when you feel it.

The lights get a little brighter, the colours a little more vibrant. The tightness in your chest eases, allowing you to take a full, deep breath. You can suddenly hear the birds outside singing, melodies drifting through the open doors like a summer breeze.

The man turns around, and it's not Rafael.

It's Bucky.

You're moving before you can even process it, running and jumping into his arms. You inhale, revelling in his familiar scent. He's here. Your happiness has arrived.

"Surprise," he laughs quietly into your ear. "Miss me, honey girl?"

You beam a grin at him, pulling away to look at his handsome face.

"More than you'll ever know."

"Oh, I know. I feel it."

He places a hand over his heart gently, looking at you with pure adoration.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's been a month since your Mom's birthday. A month since I've seen your pretty face. A month too long."

You roll your eyes jokingly, so he continues.

"You don't mind that I'm here, do you? Because I'll go, if it's too much for you. I know me showing up unannounced is a lot to process."

"Don't go," you reply quickly, grabbing his hand. "I want you here, Buck. More than anything."

He leans in and presses his lips to yours, cradling your face in his warm hands. The background of the café melts away, the man in front of you the only thing that matters.

You pull away and smile at him, pressing your forehead into his gently.

"Come back to the kitchen with me. Let's get away from all the noise."

You grab his hand and pull him with you, ignoring the excited giggling from Isabel behind the counter.

Bucky perches against a counter, leaning back to allow you to stand in between his legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and peck his lips, stealing kisses in between giddy smiles.

"I hope you weren't expecting a day full of super exciting adventures. I've got a list full of stuff I've got to get finished by closing."

"Honey, I'm more than content to stay here and watch you work. There's nothing I love more than watching you bake."

You run your fingertips over his face carefully, gently tracing his features as you look at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care what we do, as long as we're together."

You wrap your arms around his middle, holding him as tightly as you can.

"I feel like I hit the soulmate jackpot," you whisper.

"No one's as lucky as I am," he whispers back. "Now, come on. Let me see you work your magic."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Bucky, it turns out, makes a damn good assistant.

Instead of just watching, he volunteers to help in whatever way he can. You set him onto weighing your ingredients, so you can focus on making and decorating. He takes his job very seriously, measuring down to the precise gram each time. You can't help but grin as you watch him concentrate, determined to get it right.

At lunch time, Isabel brings you both coffee and sandwiches, entering just as you're teaching Bucky how to properly fold in ingredients.

"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"You could never. Isa, this is Bucky. Buck, this is Isabel. Our best waitress."

He holds out his floury hand for her to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Isabel. I've heard a lot about you."

"You have?"

Her eyes light up as she looks at you, fighting the smile off her face.

"My honey talks about you all the time."

Isabel glances between the two of you, clearly trying to figure things out.

"And you two are..."

"Soulmates," you say at the same time as Bucky does.

Her jaw drops for a moment, before she laughs.

"Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually."

You roll your eyes at her lovingly before Stella's voice calls her name from out front.

"I better go. But me and you are gonna talk about this later."

"Fine," you laugh.

"Nice to meet you!" Bucky shouts after her, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I like that we're just telling people now."

"Yeah, me too, actually. I thought it'd be scary, but... it feels right."

He slings an arm around your middle, pulling you into his side.

"We've still got the two most important people left to tell."

Your muscles tense and Bucky feels it instantly, running his thumb in patterns over your hip gently.

"I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm almost ready, Buck. We can't avoid it forever. Next time I'm home, I think we should do it. We should tell them."

Bucky hooks two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Are you sure? Once we tell them, we can't undo it. We'll only do it if you're one hundred percent sure."

"I'll be ready when the time comes. It'll be a huge weight off of both of our shoulders, which I think we both need."

"Okay then," he says, kissing your forehead. "Next time you're home."

Isabel clears her throat from the doorway, smiling sheepishly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this again, but... there's a guy here to see you."

You laugh, untangling yourself from Bucky with a kiss to his cheek.

"Send him through. Thanks, Isa."

The man you were originally expecting to see this morning walks into the kitchen, envelopes in his hand.

"Hey!"

"Hey, Rafael."

He gives you a quick hug, before waving at Bucky.

"Hey, man. You've gotta be the soulmate, right?"

Bucky chuckles, coming over to shake Raf's hand.

"Yeah, that's me. How'd you know?"

"Are you kidding? You can feel it the minute you walk into the room. There's like, electricity in here."

You laugh, hiking yourself up to sit on the counter. Bucky stands next to you, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"Here," Rafael says, handing you an envelope. "We're having a gala next month, for the charity that has supported my sister. We'd love it if you could come - and bring your date too, of course."

"I'd love to," you say as you read the invitation. "Do you need me to bring anything? You know I'll happily make something, if you guys need it."

"You would?"

"Absolutely! I could bring a cake, if you like? I haven't done a proper, three tiered cake in forever. I'd love to."

"That'd be... amazing. Seriously. We just want to raise as much money as possible."

"Of course. Thanks for these, Raf. How is she?"

"She's okay. She's getting a tiny bit stronger every day, and that's all we can really ask for."

You reach a hand out to squeeze his in support.

"You know where I am if you need anything."

"Of course. Thank you, so much. I've gotta run - I've got like a hundred of these invites to deliver. But I'll see you at the weekend?"

"For sure. See you, Raf!"

"Nice to meet you, Bucky."

"You too, man. Take care."

Isa shows Rafael out of the door, winking at you on her way out.

"Damn, he's handsome," Bucky laughs.

"Isn't he?" you giggle. "Nothing on my soulmate though, I'm afraid."

"Shut up," he blushes, leaning in to capture your lips. "You wanna get dinner when you're done here?"

"Yes, please. I'll show you around my new apartment too."

"Can't wait."

There's not an ounce of tension in your muscles as you finish up your bakes for the day, gliding around the kitchen while Bucky stands and watches your every move.

If you could pause time, this would be when you'd do it. You'd be content to live in this moment forever.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The minute Bucky walks through your front door, he inhales deeply. The entire place smells like you, cosy and golden.

"You like it?"

"It's gorgeous, baby. I love the windows."

He makes his way over to your kitchen, where the glass panes run from floor to ceiling. Sitting on the bench pressed against it, he takes in the view, savouring the feeling of the sun on his face.

You sit down on his lap, draping your legs over him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Nuzzling your face into his jaw, you press a kiss to the stubble, resisting the urge to lick the salt off of his skin.

"Come on," you murmur. "Let me show you my bedroom. The sun sets in that direction, so it's always beautiful in there."

You grab his hand and walk him across the apartment, swinging open the door to your room and pushing him inside.

He takes in the space for a moment before turning in your direction, striding over to smash his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his shirt and pull him closer, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth with ease.

Bucky leans in to trail kisses down your neck as he slips your shirt over your head, making quick work of unclasping your bra with skilled fingers. He grasps your chest in both hands, massaging gently as he nips at your throat.

"So fucking pretty," he murmurs. "Haven't stopped thinking about you since you left me."

You whine and unbutton his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders. You're desperate to see more, desperate to feel his skin on yours, desperate to bare every inch of him.

Your fingers make deft work of his belt, sliding it from its loops and throwing it to the ground. You unpop his button and slide down the zipper, pulling his jeans off his legs in no time. You shimmy out of your skirt, leaving you both in your underwear.

The evening sun seeps through the window panes, illuminating the room in hues of orange and gold. The light hits Bucky's skin, making him glow in a halo of love and adoration.

He walks you backwards, wrapping an arm around your back to throw you onto the white sheets of your bed. Crawling over you, he settles in between your legs, pressing gentle kisses from your ankles to your inner thighs.

"The way you look when you come has been burned in my mind," he whispers. "Need to see it again. It's been too long."

He slides your underwear down your legs and wastes no time, diving into you like a man starved. He devours you, tongue never ceasing it's movements. His hands pry your thighs apart, one arm thrown over your stomach to keep you still. When your muscles start to shake, Bucky doubles down on his efforts, lapping and sucking at you like you're his lifesource.

"Oh, Buck, I'm-"

You see stars as you come, white and silver shapes flying through your vision. Bucky never stops, prolonging your release for as long as he can. When you go boneless, he ceases, pressing kisses to the inside of your knee.

"You okay?" he murmurs, moving so his body smothers yours.

"I'm good," you smile, leaning up to kiss him. You groan when you taste yourself, wrapping your legs around his waist.

"Need you, baby. Please, Buck."

"You sure?"

You smile at him, cradling his face in your hands.

"Couldn't be surer."

He dips down to lick into your mouth once more, shucking his boxers off and throwing them across the room. Slipping a condom on, he lines himself up, eyes meeting yours.

"I need you more than I need air to breathe," he murmurs. "You know that, don't you?"

"Buck," you breathe. "I've been going crazy here without you."

He goes to speak, but stops himself, instead leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"I know," you whisper. "I know."

Bucky slides home in one smooth thrust, both of you gasping. One of his hands finds your hip, the other resting against your throat as an anchor. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms snaking around his shoulders.

"Fuck me, please."

"Fuck," he groans. "I'll be replaying that in my head forever."

You chuckle breathlessly, gasping when he draws his hips back and forward again. He sets an even pace - not too fast, not too slow. He has you right where he wants you, both of your bodies in perfect synchronisity. It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything's fallen into place.

Bucky dances his fingers from your hip to your clit, rubbing firm circles. He plays you like a violin, your muscles tensing as you get closer.

"That's it, pretty girl. Fuck, you're so good for me. You close, honey? Gonna come for me again?"

You nod frantically as he picks up his pace, hips colliding with yours. He groans as you tighten around him, head dropping to rest against yours.

"Come for me, honey girl," he whispers. "Please."

Your back arches as you find your release, nails scratching at the skin of Bucky's back. The pain tips him over the edge, spilling inside of you with a deep groan. He collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving.

"I think we're naturals at that," you chuckle hoarsely.

"You think it's the soulmate thing, or are we just that good?"

"I think we're just that good," you laugh, pushing him off your body so he lands next to you. You link your fingers with his, resting your head on his chest.

"I need a drink."

"I was just thinking that, actually. You wanna go out? Know anywhere?"

"There's a cute little bar that looks out over the cove - it has good food and good cocktails. You wanna go there?"

"I'd go anywhere with you," he affirms, pressing a kiss into your hair.

"I'd kill for a pineapple margarita right now."

Bucky sits up suddenly, bringing you with him, arms wrapped around you.

"Then let's go get my girl a pineapple margarita."

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

The golden lights adorn the beams of wood above your head, the deck illuminated in the gentle glow. The ocean waves break the shore in a comfortingly repetitive motion, a calming soundtrack to the evening. You sit across from Bucky at your table for two, the sunset casting orange hues across the horizon.

"It's beautiful out here."

"Yeah," you agree, smiling. "The view is pretty good."

Your eyes haven't left his, lost in the sea blue of his irises. He chuckles, running his thumb over the back of your hand where it rests atop the table.

"This is our first date, you know."

"Really?"

"I mean, we've been 'dating' this whole time - but we've never gone out and had dinner like this. Held hands and all."

"You're right. Our first date of many, huh?"

"Our first of countless," he grins, brushing his lips over your knuckles in a gentle kiss.

"Where do my parents think you are?"

"Visiting a cousin in Nevada."

You laugh, and the sound makes Bucky light up, electricity running through his veins.

"You're a scarily good liar."

"To everyone but you."

"I used to think I was a good liar. Until I met you, that is."

Just as he's about to respond, your waitress appears, two pineapple margaritas in hand. She takes your orders and leaves, smiling at you.

"Oh, shit. She forgot to give us straws. I'm gonna grab some - be right back."

You chase her inside, tapping her shoulder gently.

"Excuse me - could I get a couple of straws, please?"

"Of course. Sorry!" she apologises, handing them to you.

"Thank you! Your shirt is so cute, by the way."

"Thanks - it's thrifted! You're gorgeous, girl. And your boyfriend is stupidly hot too. You're a pretty couple."

You thank her and laugh, returning to Bucky with a grin on your face.

"What's got you smiling?"

"The waitress called you my boyfriend."

"Huh. As much as I love the commitment... boyfriend kinda sounds like we're in ninth grade, doesn't it?"

You throw your head back, laughing with your entire being.

"That's what I thought. There's gotta be a better word. Partner? No, that makes us sound forty."

"I am almost forty."

"Oops."

Bucky rolls his eyes, but he can't wipe the blinding grin from his face. He takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture of you, admiring the way the breeze caresses your face as the setting sun beats down.

"Sneaky," you tease. "Let me see?"

He hands you the phone, letting you look through. You swipe right one too many times, and accidentally land on a picture of a blueprint laid out across a kitchen counter. His kitchen counter.

"Babe... what's this?"

You don't miss the way Bucky's cheeks heat up, blush creeping across his chest that's exposed by the V neckline of his blue button up. He stutters for a moment, before finding his footing.

"They're blueprints. Plans for a house."

"A house?"

"I want to build a house."

When you keep looking at him softly, he doubles down.

"I want to build a house for us."

Your breath hitches in your chest, the world going silent momentarily.

"You... you do?"

"My Dad worked in construction my entire childhood. I watched him build houses, apartment buildings, bungalows... everything. I've always wanted to do it, but never had reason to. Until now."

You squeeze his hand, urging him to continue.

"I've been planning it for upwards of ten years. But I'm taking it more seriously, now. Those blueprints are the final ones. It's all mapped out, down to the square inch. I've made some modifications for you, obviously."

He zooms in on the picture, pointing out areas on the plans.

"I've added a big island in the kitchen with a tonne of storage in it, for all of your supplies. I know you have that huge mixer, so I've made sure there's enough space for it to fit underneath with the doors closed."

You take a deep breath, lump in your throat forming unwillingly.

"Up here, there's a window at the top of the stairs. I've added a sketch of a bench which I'll upholster, so you can sit and read in the sunlight."

Tangling your legs with his under the table, you urge him to continue.

"I've also made sure there's a balcony off the master bedroom that overlooks the garden. I know how much you love sitting on yours in your apartment at home. There's probably like a hundred more little modifications for you, but those are just a few."

Tears are running down your cheeks freely, emotion escaping you like a flash flood.

"Bucky..."

"If it's too much too soon, please tell me. I won't be offended, baby. I know it's a lot."

"It's perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You jump up from your seat and around the table, throwing yourself into his lap to kiss him happily.

"I can't wait to build a house with you, Buck."

He grins at you, joy radiating off him in waves.

"Buck?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He blinks back tears for a second, processing the words he's been waiting to hear for what feels like an eternity.

"I love you too, honey girl. My pretty baby."

He leans in to kiss you tenderly, the rest of the world melting away. It feels like it's just the two of you, floating on cloud nine.

Suddenly, you get it. You understand why people say this is the greatest thing that'll ever happen.

It is. They were right all along.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

After several pineapple flavoured cocktails and a taco or four, you and Bucky take a slow stroll home, hand in hand along the sidewalk.

"You wanna have a sleepover tonight?" you ask, digging your heels into the ground to stop yourself from skipping with glee.

"Can't think of anything I want more," he chuckles.

You walk a little while longer, content to bask in the comfortable silence.

"Guess what happened a few days ago."

"What, honey?"

"Stella asked me to be her business partner."

He stops where he is, turning to face you but never letting go of your hand.

"Wait, really?"

"Mhmmm."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I was unsure, at first. But I'm going to do it. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. We had to take a business class in culinary school, and I actually learned a lot. I've had a business plan for the future of the café drafted up for months. Numbers, locations, investors, everything. I'm really serious about this, you know."

He's gazing at you like you hung the moon, eyes bright and adoring.

You sit down on a bench, looking out over the coastal path. Bucky joins you, arm heavy over your shoulders.

"I can't stay here."

His head whips around.

"Baby..."

"I mean it, Buck. I like this city, I do, but I just can't settle. It feels like a placeholder until I can go home. And it's not fair to Stella, if it feels like I'm half in half out."

He goes to speak, but you're on a roll.

"I'm suggesting that we franchise the business. It's the logical next step anyway, it was just a matter of choosing the right location. I'm proposing somewhere a hell of a lot closer to home. To you. To my parents. And that means we'll have one branch on the east coast, and one on the west. We can start filling the middle, in the future."

"Are you... are you sure?"

"I've never been surer of anything, James Buchanan Barnes. I wanna start my life with you. Telling my parents, building a house, furthering my career. I'm ready, now."

Bucky grabs your face in his warm hands, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. It's all the answer you need.

"I want you to read over my plan, when we get back to my place. But it's tight, Buck. I've been perfecting it for months. There's no way Stella can say no - I've made it so she won't want to. Besides, she just wants me to be happy. And this... this will make me happy. Happy beyond words."

Bucky stands up, wrapping his arms around your middle to bring you with him. He spins you around, laughing when you squeal in surprise.

"I'm so proud of you, honey baby. I love you so much."

"I love you," you grin. "More than I ever thought possible."

Bucky practically carries you home, both of you giddy on excitement and hope.

You wake up tangled in his arms, sunlight beaming down onto your skin through the open window. Happiness, you think. It's finally here.

Happiness. It's finally here.

tag list part one -

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[restlessmaknae]

red light, green light // park sunghoon

After summer break and your break-up, it seems that things finally go back to normal. At least, until the first after-match party when in an attempt to save you from your ex, Sunghoon blurts out that you're his girlfriend now, and so, your fake dating starts.

➳ Characters: college rugby player!Sunghoon x cheerleader!female reader/you

➳ Genre: fake dating au, college au, sports au, angst, fluff

➳ Words: 6.2k

➳ Warning: reader is very insecure in the beginning and healing from a toxic relationship; the toxic, manipulative ex is also in the story (named Jaehyeok but he has no connection to any real-life people or characters), mentions of cheating on ex's part, injuries

➳ A/N: This story had the most votes in my recent poll, so here it is. It's also a spin-off to my most popular story 'how to cross the line?' with Jake that takes place before this one, but this story can absolutely be read on its own. ���️

After the summer break, you thought that everything bad - including your break-up with Jaehyeok - would be forgotten. As a cheerleader and a college rugby player who had gotten together over the spring term, and had broken up close to finals, you had been the talk of town until everyone had gone home for the break. There had been a pleasantly short amount of time between the break-up and summer break with no football matches afterwards, so no way to see him up-front when he had been the last person you had wanted to see.

With the autumn term coming, it seemed to be true, and you couldn’t have been happier. The summer months weren’t enough to pick yourself up after the break-up, but they were enough to try to pick yourself up. He had humiliated you in front of his team members, and even though they didn’t look at you any differently, you could feel the lingering gazes on you two when Jaehyeok decided to sit beside you at the first after-match party of the season.

“Oooh, are you guys getting back together?” One of the boys cooed, laughing into his hands as if he had discovered the rumour of the century.

“We’re just being friendly to each other, you know,” Jaehyeok replied with a mellifluous smile, one that you had naively fallen for last semester. Now, you could see how well-practised this was, just like so many of his lines and his whole good boy behaviour. He was perfect only on the surface, he was rotten on the inside.

You could feel the overly curious eyes on you, hungry for an answer, for some drama like hawks circling around their prey. Too bad how fitting it was for those around you to be playing for the Hybe Hawks, they were predators when it came to your love life, and it had been the same when you had been together.

You forced a smile onto your face, nodding without saying a word and looking for a way out when Jay inquired if anyone wanted more meat, and you had never been more relieved in your life. If there were guys in the rugby team who were far from the rest, it would be Jake, Jay and Sunghoon. Those three were the ones who didn’t want to mingle with the others’ drama, and for that reason, you hadn’t really interacted with them before this semester because if you had hung out with other players from the team before, they had always been Jaehyeok’s friends. Now, however, they were the only ones who didn’t want to pick you apart since the break-up.

You tried to keep it in, you tried to conceal your feelings, while the conversation moved on, but when Jaehyeok put a piece of meat onto your plate without you asking him to, the weight on your shoulders doubled. It felt like you were trying to hold up too much, and all that weight could collapse onto you any minute, so to avoid that, you haphazardly excused yourself, saying that you didn’t feel well after drinking.

You threw your bag over your shoulder and exited the BBQ restaurant, the gazes of the athletes and cheerleaders searing into your back. You held onto the strip of your bag even tighter, trying to ground yourself to something real, something that you could control. You were so naive, really. How could you even assume that they could move on from your break-up and not bring it up anymore? How could you even assume that Jaehyeok would change, and bear the consequences of his actions when he had been the one saying those nasty things about you? You had been so stupid, so naive, so…

“Y/N!”

Jaehyeok’s all too familiar voice calling your name made your knees weak for a moment before you snapped yourself back to reality, reminding yourself that it was who he was, it was how he lured people in. You couldn’t believe in his sweet words anymore.

So you picked up your pace and walked even faster, but the red lights at the pedestrian crossing forced you to stop, to look at him when he halted beside you, and to listen to his mellifluous words.

“Hey! What was that about before? I just want us to be cool with each other after you called it quits.”

That was the problem with Jaehyeok. When you looked at these - this scene, his words, the cool expression on his face - from an outsider’s point of view, everything seemed ideal, almost perfect. Yet, when you were the one inside of it, you knew how that illusion of perfection casted its shadow onto you; how you felt suffocated under it, desperately trying to hold onto it because just as he had said it about you to his friends, you had been nothing without him. If you had not gotten together with him during the first semester, no one would have taken note of your existence. Even if you had been in the cheerleading team, the girls had started talking to you only after Jaehyeok had done the same.

And this… this is what Jaehyeok had done disgustingly well: to raise you up, to make you feel special, so you wouldn’t leave his side. Too bad you had caught him telling the other guys the same once and catching him kissing some girl at an after-match party another time. You hadn’t supposed to be there at the party, that’s true, since the group work meeting you would have gone to had been cancelled last minute, but to see him shove his tongue down another girl’s throat while murmuring to her that he would break up with you soon, so she shouldn’t worry had made you frozen on the spot. You wouldn’t have it in you to confront him on the spot, so you had left the party almost as soon as you had gotten there, tears pricking your ears, and the only person who had asked you if you had been alright was Sunghoon when you had managed to bump into him while exiting the scene.

The flashbacks poured onto you one after another, and you could feel your hands shaking by your sides while you were momentarily reliving them.

“You would have broken up with me anyway, we both know that,” you pointed out rather indignantly, desperately glancing side-ways to see how much more time you needed to wait for the lights to turn green.

35 more seconds…

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you should act all weird when we’re beside each other. Just because you’ve prioritised school over dates with me doesn’t make me a bad guy,” he justified all too innocently, and there it was again: turning the tables around, making you feel small, blaming you for what happened. Blaming you for not having enough time for him, so he had to kiss other girls.

20 more seconds…

“It’s not like I don’t see you talking more with Jay, Jake and Sunghoon since we broke up,” Jaehyeok spitted as if he couldn’t just let it be, and you balled your hands into fists, your nails digging into your skin.

15 more seconds….

Yeah, the only ones who were willing to speak to you after the break-up, god forbid you didn’t tell them off, you thought to yourself.

“I’ve been talking to them since we broke up, not before. There’s a difference between what you did and how I've been talking to guys ever since.”

“And besides, she’s her own person, she can do what she wants,” a voice from behind meddled with the tension hanging over you and Jaehyeok, and as he stepped beside you, so he would come between you and your ex, it felt a bit like he was shielding you. Both figuratively and literally.

You would have recognised that slender build of his, the fringe in his eyes and the depth of his voice anywhere, and even though it was Park Sunghoon out of all people, you didn’t mind that he was the one who showed up. You had no idea whether it had anything to do with the fact that he had seen you exit that ominous after-match party with teary eyes, but even if it was pity, you could take it given the circumstances.

“What do you know, man?”

“I know everything,” Sunghoon stated sternly, keeping eye-contact with Jaehyeok who furrowed his eyebrows in question. Even though you clearly doubted that he knew everything, he announced it so confidently that you would have believed him all the same, and you could feel the same coming from Jaehyeok, too. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t bother her anymore. She’s my girlfriend now.”

The way Sunghoon declared it so matter-of-factly rendered you speechless, and you just stood there, frozen, and even though people started crossing the street, you totally forgot about the lights turning green. It felt as if the whole world stopped all at once, and yet, a sort of warmth peeked through the rain clouds, as if a ray of hope found its way through all the dirt.

Given that you didn’t argue with Sunghoon’s statement because you were too shocked yet numb to do so, Jaehyeok believed it. Though he clearly looked like he didn’t want to believe it.

“Sure. Congrats on getting her. It’s not like I would ever want her back,” Jaehyeok exclaimed a little too frustrated as his last words before turning around and heading back to the restaurant.

You watched him go with a mix of rage and relief, then, your eyes searched Sunghoon’s who was already looking at you. He was nibbling on his lower lip, awfully nervous for someone who had just bluffed about being your boyfriend, and the calm facade of his broke when he spoke up:

“I’m so sorry about this. I didn’t know what else to say to make him go away,” he mumbled, coy and guilty, but you could only care about the kindness lacing his words, and the genuine care in his eyes. You didn’t know him well enough to draw conclusions, but based on your previous encounters with him, you would say that it took him some courage to walk up to you two like that and to save you from the situation with a lie.

So you felt even more grateful for his interruption, and you didn't even want him to think otherwise.

“No, really, it’s… it’s fine. Thanks for that,” you blurted out, equally as uncertain what to say. Sunghoon’s eyes slipped from your face to your hands, and that’s when you realised that your hands were still shaking.

“Did he…” He breathed out, shaky and worried, before pointing at your hands. “Did he do anything to you?”

You could feel how difficult it was for him to say the words, and the weight his question carried was heavy, his question loaded. It made his earlier act less surprising for he could even assume that Jaehyeok would dare to do something like that.

“No, he didn’t do anything like that. It was just… his words as always…”

“Those matter, too,” Sunghoon whispered, somewhat to himself, before looking around. You didn’t know what he was thinking or what he was trying to do, but the lights were red for the third time you were here, so you couldn’t go on your way either way.

When Sunghoon turned back to you, he examined your expression before averting his eyes to your hands again. He could see that your hands were less shaky but you still fumbled with them to ease your nerves, and maybe that’s what prompted him to announce:

“I will go back to the dorms with you. I don’t want you to be alone after this.”

You were so shocked by his gentleness that you couldn’t form proper words, so you just nodded and crossed the street beside him when the lights turned green.

It’s safe to say that you didn’t think about the consequences of your actions - or should you say Sunghoon’s actions? - because by the next day, everyone had gotten to know that you were Sunghoon’s girlfriend (which, in fact, you weren’t) thanks to Jaehyeok gossiping. The cheerleading group chat exploded with questions and next day’s rugby practice was all about the so-called news, so you had to have an emergency meeting with Sunghoon at the end of the day.

You were in the corridor leading to the business department’s simulation labs, and since those were for societies and extra-curricular workshops, you knew that it would be rare to bump into anyone around here. So it was just the two of you, sitting on a hallway bench, the air somewhat more troubled than the day before.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would come to this,” Sunghoon broke the silence almost immediately, his voice deep and worn. He couldn’t look you in the eye, instead, he was playing with his fingers and staring far ahead.

“It’s okay, really,” you tried to reassure him as best as you could. “I’ve been through this before. It gets better after a week,” you shrugged nonchalantly, forcing yourself to avoid having flashbacks of the time you and Jaehyeok had gotten together.

Sunghoon let out a shaky breath hearing that, and you could feel that he was about to say something, but when he turned towards you with his body, he didn’t say anything. Expectant, you looked at him, locking eyes with him, and for a moment, you had a feeling that you might burst into tears. He looked at you so worried, so gentle, as if he was ready to start a revolution for you, it opened a hidden locker in your heart that had never experienced such kindness coming from a boy.

“Are you really okay?” He inquired quietly, barely audible, and it didn’t slip your attention that he glanced down at your hands resting in your lap before looking into your eyes again.

“I’m as fine as I can be. If I’m not fine, it’s not because of this situation, but because of Jaehyeok, so really, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Do you want to keep this up? Our… fake relationship?” He hesitated a bit before continuing, and you found it adorable how his ears turned red when he babbled the word ‘relationship’ out loud.

“If you don’t mind,” you answered, giving him the chance to back out because you didn’t want him to tie himself to you over an attempt to save you from your douchebag ex.

Sunghoon’s eyes widened, almost comically, as if it hurt him to hear such a suggestion. Then, he held up his hands in front of his chest, waving them in heavy opposition.

“No, no, I don’t.”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure,” you let out a little chuckle seeing his objection, and the boy still blinked at you, albeit a bit shyly now.

So you went on to discuss that you would keep up this fake relationship, but nothing was forced. If either of you wanted to put an end to it, the other one would agree immediately. There were no forced dates or social media posts or appearances, just whatever you were comfortable with. You exchanged contacts, so you would be able to keep in touch without having to wait for the other after practices or matches. Speaking of which, you told Sunghoon that you would quit the cheerleading team, and even though he was worried that it was because of him and this whole fake dating thing, you were quick to reassure him that it had nothing to do with it. You merely didn’t enjoy it anymore, and it’s not like you had any supportive friends there.

Hearing that, the boy seemed quite disheartened as if he had any say in how the girls in the team acted. Instead, when you brought up the fact that you could still join any dance-related club because it was early into the semester, and they were still recruiting members, he mentioned that Jake’s girlfriend was a member of a dance club.

“Oh really? Which one?”

“Well, that… I don’t know which one,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. You let out a giggle seeing his reaction; the way his face changed from enthusiastic to confused so quickly. People might have said that he had a stern face, but you would object. He might have seemed nonchalant and icy to some, but when someone got into a conversation with him, all of these different sides of him surfaced, and you realised that you liked discovering the Sunghoon that not everyone had the chance to know.

“It’s okay, you can let me know once you get to know about it,” you pointed out with a smile as you reminded him that you now had each other’s contact. His shoulders easened and he let his lips curl upwards seeing your smile.

You talked a bit more before you suggested going back to the dorms. Sunghoon offered to walk back with you since he was also heading that way, and you didn’t want to tell him that it didn’t even cross your mind that you would go separately after last time.

You were right, the heightened attention that you got because Jaehyeok had told the others that you were dating Sunghoon died down after a week or so. You quit the cheerleading team in the meantime, so you were out of their group chat too, and that probably added to the sudden lack of questions. You had some glances from people who knew who you were, but otherwise, things went back to normal. To be precise, almost normal.

Though you had no idea what to consider fake-dating Park Sunghoon to be. It was definitely not your usual way of doing things, but Jaehyeok backed off ever since Sunghoon’s lie, and it’s not like the boy forced anything onto you. In fact, he was the most considerate soul ever. He indeed asked Jake which dance club his girlfriend went to, and you joined the same after the boys introduced you two to each other. It was nice to get to know someone who was close to the boys, and who definitely didn’t make you feel small after getting to know about your deal with Sunghoon. Ajung knew about it because Sunghoon’s friends were the only ones who knew, but she wasn’t weirded out by it.

You got to know about how they had known each other with Jake, how they had gotten together, and she also shared how it felt to date one of the rugby players. She had a different experience to yours because she wasn’t a cheerleader, but she still got stares and hateful messages. At the end of the day, what mattered to her was that Jake loved her, and she had never questioned his loyalty.

“I guess it’s because I could never imagine him meeting other girls behind my back that I don’t take those messages to heart,” Ajung admitted once, and it dawned on you that you had felt insecure in your relationship with Jaehyeok because you had been afraid he had been meeting other girls. You had been right, but still; just the fact that you could have imagined him cheating on you should have been a major red flag.

On the other hand, you couldn’t imagine the same about Sunghoon. Even if you were technically not together, the boy made sure time and time again that he was fine with it and wasn’t meeting other girls. So when he went to the after-match parties without you because you didn’t feel like going anymore, you weren’t afraid that he was kissing other girls. Which was a surprising realisation to come to, because one would think that you lost all hope in trusting guys after Jaehyeok. Maybe it would have been true had it been for someone else, but you trusted Sunghoon. Even more so because he was always on your side, even if it meant getting into a fight with Jaehyeok after his rugby practice.

You were studying in the library after classes, and you knew that Sunghoon was supposed to finish around this time, so you shot him a message, only to be left on read for half an hour. Hence, you packed up your stuff and went back to the dorms, not wanting to force anything onto the boy.

However, almost as soon as you arrived at the dorms, you got a message from Jake, saying that you should probably talk to Sunghoon because he had a rough day. He was out with Ajung, but Sunghoon would probably be in their dorm room, so you could talk to him in private.

You didn’t need to be told twice; you walked up to the boys’ dorm room (knowing all too well where they lived in the halls since walking back to the dorms together became a habit of yours), and knocked on their door. You didn’t get an answer, so you messaged the boy again. You started getting worried when Sunghoon suddenly showed up in the corridor, already changed back into his usual jeans, a tee and a cardigan thrown over it. When he caught sight of you in front of their door, his eyes widened and his lips visibly parted.

On the other hand, you had the same reaction, but not because of his presence, it was because of the bruise around his lips and on his jaw. It didn’t look like he had hurt himself during practice as you had been familiar with those kinds of injuries due to Jaehyeok. It looked like he had been in a fight.

“Oh my gosh, Sunghoon! Are you okay?” You immediately went up to him, checking on his bruises from closer, yet not touching him because you didn’t want to be invasive. So you looked up at him, waiting for him to reply, but instead of words, he closed the distance between you two and hugged you.

You were so bewildered that you just stood there, blinking rapidly, and you could neither say anything, nor do anything. Your heart, on the other hand, was beating so erratically, you were afraid that it would jump out of your ribcage.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You asked, totally confused, while you hugged the boy back. As you laced your arms around his waist, you could feel the boy tense a bit, probably unprepared for you hugging him back, but he eased into your touch a few seconds later.

“For what you had to deal with beside Jaehyeok,” he explained gently, quietly like a confession, murmuring the words into your hair. You were so used to words that cut like a knife that his words - that were like a soothing cream on a bruised heart - felt like a remedy, the boy tending to your broken heart with only a few syllables, a few breaths of words.

You hugged him back tighter, stronger, a silent response to his sentence, and soaked up this warmth, this comforting feeling for a few seconds before you took a step back and pulled yourself out of the hug. You looked up at him, heart churning at the sight but even more so when your hunch was proven right.

“Was it his doing?” You asked as you pointed at his face, and the boy didn’t need to be asked twice. He nodded, but there was no remorse in his tone when he spoke up.

“I was the one who punched him first. I couldn’t just stand what he was saying about you. He is so-”

“I know,” you cut him off, knowing all too well that whatever he was going to say was something you already knew. Instead, you asked if he had treated his bruises already (though it didn’t seem like it), and when he confirmed that he hadn’t, yet he had bought some antiseptic and plasters from the pharmacy, you offered to help him tend to his wound.

He seemed startled for a few seconds, but didn’t object. He let you inside their dorm room instead, and pushed a few things off his study desk, so he could put down his bag and get the pharmacy’s plastic bag out of it. He fumbled a bit with the bag before he reached it out to you, and just stood there as if he didn’t know what to do himself until you told him that it would probably be better if you both sat down because you know, he was quite tall…

“Oh yeah, right… sorry,” he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly before taking a seat on his bed and pushing a few things onto the edge of his bed, so you could sit beside him comfortably.

You only realised how close you were when you leaned forward to put the antiseptic on the corner of his lip, and you came face-to-face with the moles dotting his face like little black stars on the galaxy of his skin. The shade of his eyes also seemed darker from up close, like the sky when it didn’t yet turn to its darkest, deepest colour, and the way he batted his eyelashes was just as elegant as the boy himself. He seemed so dream-like as he was blinking at your swiftly moving fingers, you were afraid that if you stopped, he would vanish. You wished that you could prolong these moments longer and longer…

Yet, you were finished in no time, and after you put a plaster on the bruise of his jaw, you put everything back into the plastic bag while trying to pacify the crazy beating of your heart. You appreciated that the boy let you do this for him after he had stood up for you even without you being there, and even though he didn’t regret it, you still felt bad for him. He shouldn’t have felt like this was his battle to win, but he was protective over you, more than he should have been given your fake relationship.

“Thank you,” you blurted out as such thoughts circled your mind. “From that after-match party when you asked me if I was okay after seeing Jaehyeok kiss another girl up until today, I feel like you’ve been taking care of me so well, I’m really grateful,” you confessed as you turned towards him again, searching for his eyes.

The boy’s delicate features immediately softened, and you could see it on his face, in his eyes, in the way he held himself that he would have done it again and again if it meant that he could take care of you.

“You deserve it. You really do,” he stated, not leaving room for objection, and that was when it hit you. That emotional overflow that had been building inside of you ever since you had been talking with Sunghoon, and time and time again, he proved to you that you were cared for, and that there were people looking out for you despite what Jaehyeok had been telling you, and that you were your own person, not a nobody.

“Thank you,” you choked out, trying to hold it in, but when tears started prickling your eyes, you knew that it was time to let it all out. So you did, without being ashamed, without feeling weak. This was you, a side of you that you now dared to show the world.

And Sunghoon was there to help you through it all by lending a shoulder to cry on and strong arms to hold you safe and sound, wrapping you up in warmth and comfort.

Something changed that day, and you could feel the shift in your relationship.

It’s not that you two were cold towards each other before, you were merely more tentative. You appreciated it, the fact that Sunghoon kept his distance, and he was as polite about every little touch, every little action as one could be, but after that night, you started opening up slowly, letting each other in more and more.

It was gradual, of course. With your history with Jaehyeok and Sunghoon’s generally reserved personality, it wasn’t an obvious change from one day to another, but you enjoyed it nevertheless. You enjoyed the walks back to the dorms, the times you spent messaging each other on and off campus, the times when you hang out with him and his friends after matches (instead of hanging out with the cheerleaders and Jaehyeok’s friends), the lunches you grabbed together between classes, and how throughout it all, you got to know that Sunghoon was actually far from quiet when he was around those he was comfortable with.

He was pretty talkative when a topic was brought up that interested him or when he needed to defend his opinion. He was also pretty funny, making funny faces when reacting to certain campus drama and being his extra self when walking into a place where you were waiting for him. He was also very, very caring, but it went without saying by that point; lending you his jacket when autumn arrived with violent winds and unexpected weather conditions from one day to another, buying a drink for you when he knew that you would be staying at the library to study, holding the door for you and offering to bring your books when you were working on an assignment and had to rent a bunch of books for a week, and looking out for your reactions whenever Jaehyeok was brought up in a conversation or the boy was close by.

Actually, with him by your side, it was easier to put your ex in the past; because Sunghoon showed you such a different way of being together with a boy. You were still fake dating, but the way nothing was forced for the sake of social media or the questions of his nosy team members showed you that he would be just as considerate about your feelings and your comfort as if you had been actually dating.

Maybe that’s why it wasn’t that difficult to say yes to a weekend trip to the winter sea with his friends - Jake, Ajung and Jay. It was just the five of you, renting a small apartment for two days and one night in December; two of the boys sharing a room and one of them sleeping on the couch in the living room (it goes without saying that they decided with rock-paper-scissors that it would be Sunghoon on the couch) while you were sharing a room with Ajung.

During the day, you went to the beach to take a long walk alongside the coast, the boys teasing you while splashing water around, taking pictures and having lunch nearby in a cosy little café. You went to a cliff too, Sunghoon reaching his hand out to help you move from one rock to another while walking towards it, and Jake did the same towards Ajung, so Jay was sulking that he was visibly left out. To which, both of the boys joked to offer their help, but Jay just shushed them. They were having too much fun teasing him.

At night, you went to the grocery store and bought ingredients for dinner which you prepared together. To be precise, you weren’t sure Sunghoon was much help as he was singing songs he put on the speakers into a ladle, and Jake was too busy taking pictures of Ajung with a knife (saving it for himself as possible future meme material as he said), but Jay was doing everything so professionally, it seemed like he didn’t need help either way. You tried nevertheless, cutting up the veggies and bringing him stuff from the fridge while he was by the oven, naturally finding something to talk about in the meantime.

“You know, Sunghoon seems happier since you started talking,” he brought it up suddenly while he was stirring the stew. You both glanced in the direction of the boy who was too busy finding a good song to play next, his tongue sticking out in concentration.

“Oh really?” You quirked an eyebrow, feeling a bit shy, because it meant that you had a positive impact on the boy.

“Yeah,” the boy nodded without thinking twice about it. “I’ve never seen him date a girl, but even if you are fake-dating, I think that’s what he would act like,” he added seriously, and there was no hint of mischief in his eyes, hence, you believed him. At least, you wanted to believe him.

However, you had no idea what to say to that, so you just nodded, and as your eyes glanced in the boy’s direction yet again, your heart did a little somersault. Truth to be told, it didn’t really feel like fake-dating at this point because you and Sunghoon actually spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other, and he even invited you for this trip, so that had to mean something. On the other hand, since you hadn’t seen Sunghoon interact with other girls before (except for smiling awkwardly when the cheerleaders had tried to hit on him), you didn’t know how he acted around them.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t keep Jay’s words out of your head for the remaining day, so when it was just the two of you left in the living room as Sunghoon was making his bed (aka his couch) and you were refilling your water bottle, you felt like you had to ask the boy the same.

“Sunghoon…” You started tentatively as you halted beside the couch which was now covered with a bedsheet, a fluffy blanket and a pillow. The boy looked up from his haphazardly made bed, finding your eyes. He tilted his head like he always did when he was confused, but there was a hint of curiosity in his midnight-black orbs.

“Hmm?”

“Jay said that you seem happier since we started talking,” you said it in one-go, fiddling with the protective layer around your water bottle. “Do you agree with him?”

Silence settled over you two after your question, and even though it was probably just a few seconds, your heartbeat felt twice as heavy as before as you were waiting for his answer. Sunghoon’s confused features easened into a more natural state, but there was a hue tinting his cheeks pinkish when he answered:

“Yeah, I’m happier.”

Your shoulders immediately dropped in ease despite the fact that you couldn’t imagine him saying something hurtful even if he might not have agreed with his friend. It’s just… you felt like you hadn’t really been paying attention to his feelings in the beginning of your fake dating since you had been buried under all the hurt from Jaehyeok. When you had managed to pick yourself up from that dark hole, Sunghoon had already been acting the way he did nowadays, so you couldn’t tell whether he was happier or not. Not to mention that you hadn’t really been looking his way in the first semester because you had been dating a different rugby player.

Now though, you couldn’t imagine not seeing him and not looking for him. His presence could always bring a sense of comfort, and he didn’t even have to say anything, you were just fine being beside him. On top of that, you could be yourself beside him, you knew that. He had seen you when you had been vulnerable and torn, and he hadn’t taken advantage of that, nor had he said anything that might have implied that you should change your ways around him.

“Well, me too,” you admitted as your thoughts kept circling back to the warmth he spread, the gratitude he made you feel, the happiness he bloomed in your chest and… to him. “I like you,” you found yourself saying as you overcame with all the emotions leading up to this point, but you immediately bit down on your lower lip when you realised what you had just said.

Sunghoon seemed shocked for a moment, then shy, then baffled again as if he didn’t want to believe his ears.

“Oh, I, well…” He blabbered coyly, not finding the right words to say. Even in this state, you found him cute because he was trying. He was just nervous like you, but you could wait for him to say what he wanted to say. Not like you could budge, you were entranced either way.

Sunghoon cleared his throat to regain his courage, then as he stepped closer to you, he finally said:

“I like you too.”

And then his arms were around you, strong yet gentle, and you inhaled his sandalwood perfume, your heart thumping against your chest, wild and free. You realised then and there that you had been secretly waiting for this moment, and you wanted to stay in it as long as possible.

“So no more fake dating, I assume?” He murmured into your hair, his voice a bit raspy yet laced with joy.

“No more,” you agreed with a slight bob of your head, and let him hug you tighter, stronger as if he never wanted to let you go.

➳ Check out: my ENHYPEN masterlist

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think!

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for ENHYPEN or for other artists, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️

[meazalykov]

heart of gold

aitana bonmati x WAG!reader

summary: there's a big reason why you've fallen in love with her

warnings: angst, bronze medal match

a/n: the winner of the vote was this fic, here you go <3

the roar of the crowd around you faded into the background as the final whistle blew. germany had secured the bronze medal, and spain was left with nothing. 

your stomach churned as you watched the spanish players slump to the ground, faces etched with exhaustion and disappointment. but your eyes were fixed on aitana.

there she was, the ballon d’or winner, the heart of the team, standing tall amid the wreckage. even as the loss sank in, she was comforting her younger teammates, cradling their heads against her chest as they sobbed. 

aitana wasn’t breaking — not yet, at least. that’s who she was. selfless, grounded, the strength for everyone else.

you watched as laura, laura freigang, asked aitana to swap shirts shortly after. the blonde wondered if it was too early to ask, but aitana gave her reassurance as she took the german shirt and gave laura the red spanish one. 

your hands gripped your camera, not sure if you should even take any pictures at this moment. 

your job as a sports photographer had brought you to moments like this, but this time was different. 

this time, it was personal. you’d met aitana through your work, and somewhere between the flashes of your camera and the interviews, you’d fallen in love with her. it wasn’t just her skill on the pitch that drew you in, though. it was the way she treated everyone — humble, kind, always thinking of others first.

but right now, all you wanted was for your girlfriend to think about herself, to let herself feel what she was bottling up. your chest tightened, wishing there was something you could do to take away the hurt she was surely feeling inside.

you glanced over at the germans celebrating. you’d worked with a few of them too, knew their faces, their stories. 

you were happy for them, but that happiness was muted by the pain you felt for aitana. she deserved something — something to show for the blood, sweat, and tears she’d put into this tournament.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, aitana’s gaze found yours. her eyes softened when she saw you, though she still wore that brave face for her team. 

she gave you a small nod, as if to say she was okay. but you knew better.

she finished speaking with her teammates and made her way over to you, the weight of the match clinging to her like a shadow. when she reached you, her shoulders were slumped, her walls still up.

“i’m sorry,” she said in english, voice low and strained.

“you don’t need to apologize, aitana. not for this.” you shook your head immediately, stepping closer, your hand gently brushing her arm. 

“it feels like i should,” she muttered, her voice trembling slightly. 

“i should’ve done more. i should’ve—”

“aitana, no,” you interrupted, squeezing her hand. 

“you did everything. you were incredible out there, like always. no one can take that away from you.”

“but it wasn’t enough. there is no medal.” her eyes flicked away, as if she couldn’t believe your words, as if the loss had clouded her judgment. 

“that’s not true,” you said firmly, lifting your hand to gently cradle her cheek, guiding her gaze back to yours. 

“you’ve done so much more than you realize. yes, the result sucks, but look at what you’ve accomplished. ballon d’or, you guys are the current world champions, and today, you were the one holding everyone together with alexia. you kept going, even when the team was falling apart. that’s worth more than any medal.”

aitana’s lips quirked into a small, sad smile, but the frustration was still there, simmering just below the surface. 

“i wanted something for them,” she whispered. “for the younger ones. i wanted them to have something to show for this.”

your heart ached as you saw the selflessness in her eyes. even now, she wasn’t thinking about herself. 

“they’ll have you to look up to, aitana,” you said softly. “you’re their role model. they’ll remember how you were there for them today, how you helped them through this. that’s something they’ll carry with them forever.”

finally, aitana’s shoulders slumped, the tension easing slightly as she let out a long, shaky breath. “i don’t know if that’s enough.”

“it is,” you assured her, your thumb brushing over her cheek. “you’re enough. always. not just to them, but for me.”

her eyes searched yours, and for the first time since the match ended, her walls began to crumble. 

the brave facade she’d been holding up for her teammates fell away, and you saw the hurt, the exhaustion, the vulnerability she’d been hiding.

“i just— i hate feeling like i failed,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

you wrapped your arms around her, pulling her close, her head resting against your shoulder. 

“you didn’t fail. you’re not capable of failing. you’ve given everything to this sport, aitana, and it shows. maybe not today, but in the way you play, the way you lead, the way you care.”

she was quiet for a moment, her arms slowly wrapping around you in return. “you make it sound so easy,” she murmured, her breath warm against your neck.

“it’s not easy,” you said, running your fingers through her hair. “but it’s the truth. you are incredible, not just because of your awards. you’re incredible because you’ve got the biggest heart, aitana. you’ve always put others first, even when you didn’t have to.”

she pulled back slightly to look at you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

“it’s okay,” you whispered, brushing your thumb across her cheek. “feel everything right now. but when you’re ready, remember what you’ve accomplished. remember how much you’ve given. and remember that, no matter what, you’re still the woman i fell in love with because of who you are, not what you’ve won.”

aitana finally let the tears fall, and you held her as she cried, her grip on you tightening. 

you didn’t care that you were still in the middle of the stadium, that people might be watching or snapping pictures. none of that mattered right now. what mattered was aitana, and being there for her the way she always was for everyone else.

“thank you,” she whispered after a while, her voice hoarse.

“always,” you replied softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “i’m so proud of you. and i always will be.”

she gave you a small, grateful smile, her eyes still red but softer now. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out,” you teased gently, earning a quiet laugh from her.

aitana leaned into you again. you smiled knowing that she still had a bright future ahead of her.

you’ve always admired aitana and her heart of gold, you will never stop admiring it. its a big reason why you've fallen in love with her.

my masterlist is here if you want to read more!

[captain-mj]

Trials of Change

Ghost overhears Soap and a couple of recruits complaining about him and decides maybe he does need to be fixed.

Ghost had never been happier honestly. Really. He and Soap had been dating for… two months, four days and, he checked the time, six glorious hours. 

Maybe that happiness made him blind. Foolish or even just stuipd. 

Ghost slipped into the room where the other people were. It wasn’t on purpose that he was undetectable. His natural state of being was… well… Ghost. 

So he heard the conversation.

Price hummed. “How’s it going with him?”

Soap smiled. “Oh, he’s great.”

“Is he planning on wearing the mask less?” 

Ghost internally winced. He understood Price was just asking out of concern. Price was one of the first people to understand that Ghost and Simon were both different people and the exact same. 

Soap shrugged. “Don’t know. I wish he would.” 

Ghost knew that was true so he didn’t mind it, but he decided to wait a second and not announce his presence. He just sat back to listen. 

“Thank God.” One of the rookies piped up. Ghost tensed and glared at them, though they couldn’t feel it unfortunately. “Tired of him walking around all scary. We were all hoping he’d get better when you guys started dating.” 

Ghost didn’t understand.

Better? What did they mean better? He was happier. Wasn’t that enough?

Soap looked rueful. “Yeah. I’d like that too. He spooks me sometimes.” 

Ghost felt his heart just drop. He was sure if he strained he could hear the sound of it snapping. Ice shards being sent off everywhere. After a moment, he decided to stay where he was. Safe and sound. 

As everyone seemed to list off his transgressions. 

Did they know he was there and deciding to mess with him? It was right up Soap’s alley, but the rookies usually feared him enough to stay quiet. He doubted they would pick up on what was going on fast enough. 

“Please make him wear something with color.”

Soap shrugged. “His closet is nothing but black.”

“Tell him to put something besides his music on.”

Soap rebutted that one too. “He hates my music and you guys don’t get a vote.” 

Then the complaints came a bit faster. 

“Make him actually talk to people.” 

“And stop hiding in his room. It’s a bit creepy at this point.”

“Also why can’t he ever make friends on base?”

“Anger issues. He’s constantly getting pissed for no reason.”

“Please make him take off the mask.” 

“And stop staring.” 

“And also please stop letting him out at night.”

“Why are you breaking curfew to see him out at night?” Soap remarked, crossing his arms. The recruits cringed and quickly found something interesting in the room to stare at. That’s when Ghost made his escape. 

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew people wanted him to change. Always something off putting. It had been like that since he started wearing long sleeves at all time to hide bruises and sleeping through class because his dad kept him awake all night. 

But this was new. Did Soap want him to change?

Of course he did. 

“Better” 

What did better mean?

Soap had been asking him questions lately. Simple things. How was your day? How are you feeling? What do you feel like doing? And Ghost would answer honestly. The bad days had definitely decreased. Ghost enjoyed being around the 141 more. He thought he had been talking more. Just to the 141, Alex, Farah, Alejandro and Rodolfo, but really who else did he need? They all saw him as he was and he thought that was enough. 

Apparently not. 

Apparently that was not better.

Well, he had a list of things that he could be better at now. Ghost felt stupid. A silly teen trying to keep their boyfriend around. 

For a moment, he thought of forgetting this conversation happened. Of taking what Soap would give him and waiting to be abandoned when Soap realized that Ghost was incapable of being what he wanted. But already, he knew this would poison everything. Anytime Soap put his scarf around Ghost because he ran so much colder than his angry Scott or when he asked him to take his mask off when they were alone or every time he introduced him to someone new, he’d wonder if it was somehow a way to change him. 

Could he just break up with him? It was the smartest and easiest thing. Shove Soap out of his life and stay exactly where he is. But that meant not having Soap. No more late night tea trips with someone by his side. He’d no longer be there to put hickeys on his neck that he’d grumble about and then secretly like. All the jokes and stolen clothes and the touch. He had forgotten how nice it was to have someone touch him. To put his head on someone’s chest (he hated weight on him because it reminded him of the dirt from the coffin) and hear their heartbeat. Nice and steady and sweet. 

Fuck, Ghost couldn’t give that up. He’d also never be able to drink enough of it in to get his fill. So he’d have to be… better. 

Maybe he could start small. It was silly, but color was probably the easiest. Wear something besides black. 

He didn’t own anything not black. 

Fucking hell. 

Ghost took a deep breath. Maybe he could start with… music? When did they even play music? During exfil occasionally if Nik was driving? But he didn’t have a mission with Soap for the next few weeks so he could see it regardless. 

Anger issues? Yeah, Ghost had them but he didn’t think he ever blew up for no reason. Maybe his reactions were occasionally over the top, but he never hit anyone. Never hit objects near them to show he could either. His last meltdown was months ago and he had, with shockingly no protest but still with a very hurt pride, apologized to the person.

Goddamnit, he just needed a starting place. That’s all. So color it fucking was. 

Ghost went to Gaz, hesitant and nervous, but he was the only person he could really ask about this without it being suspicious since he wasn’t there. 

“Hey, Garrick.”

Gaz looked up from what he was reading. “Riley!” He liked that about Gaz. When he had first referred to him as Kyle, Gaz had called him Simon. If he used his rank, Gaz responded with his rank. Ghost had learned to stick to last name or callsign with him. They felt more like equals than most of the other people on base. 

“Can you help me with something?”

Gaz sat up. “A mission?”

“Where can I get… clothing?”

Gaz paused. “You… The Ghost… want me to help you with shopping?”

Ghost nodded awkwardly. “Yeah… Can we go… shopping?”

Gaz slowly stood up. “Why?”

“I’m going to try changing my style.”

“Why?” 

“Just… want to try something… different?”

Gaz frowned and Simon remembered why he didn’t usually go to Gaz for assistance. They could see straight through him. Every time. “You want to try something… different? Why? You’ve never changed in the years I’ve known you.”

Ghost just shrugged awkwardly. 

“Alright. Let’s go.” Gaz stood up and pulled his shoes on. “What are you searching for?”

“Something with… color?” 

Gaz frowned but obliged. He couldn’t bring Ghost to a mall, worried the people would get him worked up. So instead, he brought him to a strip of stores and picked the most abandoned one. Gaz didn’t really do much, having a feeling he was more playing moral support for whatever breakdown this was. It wasn’t… completely uncommon for Ghost to get the urge to do things. Almost like a mania. However it was never something as simple as this. 

He gave Ghost’s a thumbs up when the man grabbed a blue hoodie. Dark blue, so still in theme. Then he grabbed a camo green and ruby red. Nothing but hoodies. 

“You going to stick with your normal dark color scheme?” It was a genuine question from Gaz, who was worried about him. Also, depending the answer, it would be easier to help him find things. 

Ghost wondered if this was… different enough. “Can you pick something that… isn’t?”

Gaz tilted his head and looked around. He found a polo shirt in a softer green color. “Do you want to try it on before buying it? Make sure you’re comfortable.”

Ghost bounced between his feet, debating. “Yeah.” He found a dressing room and slowly slipped off his black hoodie. The mirror was there. His arm tattoos covered the scars there, but he still felt nervous. 

Now his shirt. 

Just… take off the shirt. 

Take it off. 

Ghost pulled it over his head in a rush but he still caught himself in the stupid mirror. 

Ugly scarring. 

Did Soap not like those? Ghost had tried things to make them fade. Balms and creams and keeping them clean. They were still there. Dark, thick lines. Giant pieces of flesh that were marred for one reason or another. 

What if Soap hated those too? Ghost certainly did. It’s why he stayed covered up. 

He pulled the new shirt on and didn’t look at himself. The fabric was… fine. Not the best, but fine. The color looked weird against his pale skin. 

This was stupid. Again, the feeling of being a teen girl appeared. Was this childish? Of course it was. 

He bought the clothing anyway, even though it made his skin crawl. 

Gaz smiled at him once they were back in the car. “I’m proud of you.”

Ghost nodded. “Thanks, Gaz.”

“No problem, Ghost.”

Ghost grabbed food and hid in his room to eat. He perched on his desk. 

Soap arrived moments later and smiled, sitting on Ghost’s desk chair so they were right next to each other. “Hey, haven’t seen you today.”

“Went out.”

“You went out? By yourself?” Soap sounded so shocked. 

Ghost shrugged. “I had Gaz with me.”

“That’s nice! I’m glad you’re doing that.” Soap smiled at him. “Have fun?”

Ghost thought about it. Honestly, when he wasn’t focused on what they were doing, it wasn’t too bad. Hanging out with Gaz, even if they didn’t really talk much, was pretty fun. 

“Get anything?”

“More hoodies since you keep stealing mine.”

Soap smiled. “Hell yeah. It’s not my fault you have better taste in hoodies. They’re always so soft and big and smell like you.”

“They’re big because they’re meant to fit me.”

Soap leaned up and kissed his cheek. After having to deal with the people at the store, Soap’s presence was honestly a bit of a balm to his frayed nerves. 

Until he thought of why he had gone out. 

“Are you content with me?”

Soap paused, looking a bit confused. “Simon, I’m happy with you. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing. Just wondering.”

Johnny hummed. “Take your mask off for me.”

Simon did. He wanted to be what Johnny expected. To change how he was supposed to. Callused fingers ran over his cheekbones. Touching his jaw. 

“Beautiful.”

Wrong. 

“Did something happen?” Soap was too perceptive. 

“No.” 

Soap frowned and leaned up, kissing him more. “Alright. Ye won’t talk to me. I won’t push ya.” He cupped his face. “Just talk to me when you’re ready then.” 

Ghost frowned. “Nothing wrong. But I will if anything comes up.”

Soap smiled. “All I ask.” 

The next time they were in the car, Ghost put on some pop music. It wasn’t what he’d normally listen to. It was just a random list of the top 100 hits. Soap noticed and looked at him oddly. “Where’s your normal rock music?” 

Ghost normally made a radio each time they were going to do something together. All of it heavy rock music or metalcore. That was… bad though. Price called it his angry mix and he was trying to not do that. Not to be like that.

Be different. 

“Wanted to change it up?” It came out too much like a question. 

Soap frowned. He liked all types of music just fine, but Ghost didn’t. Ghost was predictable. Ghost only “Changed it up” when on leave when he listened to classical music. A fact only Soap got to know.

“You’re acting different.”  

Ghost shrugged and focused on driving. The other guys seemed on edge now Something was clearly off about him now. It made everyone nervous. 

It was exacerbated when Ghost wore colors at the next taskforce meeting. Even Gaz, who had been there when he bought it, looked very uncomfortable when he wore a soft shade of red hoodie and medical mask instead of his balaclava. They all kept glancing over and… looking confused. 

Ghost looked at Soap. He ignored that his skin prickled at the attention and the change. That the fabric was itchy against his skin. Or that being so exposed made him want to die right there. None of that quite mattered as much as Soap’s expression. He didn’t look pleased at all. No excitement that Ghost tried to be different. Just… a strange look. 

Ghost felt sick. He felt nauseous. 

Soap cornered him after the meeting and took him to his bedroom. 

Ghost felt like a kid, just sitting on his bed as Soap stared at him. 

“I was just trying to be what you wanted.” Simon admitted, yanking the hoodie off. “I heard you and the recruits complaining about me. I just… wanted you to like me.”

Johnny paused and softened. “Simon. I’m sorry. I was letting them complain because you’re their boss. Which I shouldn’t have. Gotta so caught up in you being Ghost, my Lt, I let them disrespect Simon, my boyfriend.” He sank down, getting on his knees in front of him. “All of this… Making yourself so uncomfortable and forcing yourself to change… You tried to do for me?”

Ghost winced. “It’s pathetic. I know. Just…”

Johnny laughed and pulled the medical mask down to kiss him. “Mo chroí. It’s not pathetic. I’m so sorry. If I had known, I would’ve cleared it up for you.” He kissed him a few more times. “I love your angry music and your dark clothing and the fact you only casually show your face to me. And I wouldn’t change you for the world.”

Simon relaxed a little. “Keep going.”

Johnny laughed. “Alright. I like that you’re mean to recruits because you want them to toughen up. You don’t listen when anyone suggests anything because you know you’re going to ignore it and I find it fun. Especially because you listen to me. I like that you’re a little pretentious about your music and that I get to wear your black hoodies. That you have two pairs of pants and that’s all you wear. On leave, I love that you wear a ton of rings. That you’re grouchy in the mornings even though you get up at 5 am when working. I love you, Simon.”

Simon pulled them back so they were laying in bed and Soap continued without a beat. “I love that you wake up at 2 am and make you tea and me a cup of coffee. Love that you sneak into my room all the time and that you steal the blankets. I-”

Simon kissed him. “Alright. You can stop now. I get it.”

“I can keep going. Anytime you want me to.” Johnny promised. “Also, I tore into them later. I wanted you to know. Made fun of all of them.”

Simon laughed and relaxed more into the bed, feeling Johnny pepper kisses on him. “Love you too.” 

[artificial-transmutations]

Minimum Wage

"And finally, it is worth to consider that the majority of those low-end jobs are being held by foreigners. Foreigners who took those jobs from our own people! Foreigners our country does more than enough for already. Any raise in minimum wage will just be spent on alcohol and cigarettes and condoms for their gay sex! Ladies and gentlemen, raising the minimum wage should be out of the question! We should think about lowering it instead!" Thomas finished his speech before the parliament and was content. Great speech, he thought. There was applause from one side of the room and angry shouting from the other side, just as usual.

One of those pesky left-wing women was especially outraged. Her head was as red as her unkempt hair, and he could hear her agitated shouts even without her using a microphone. Something about having no idea about the reality of those minimum wage workers and that he should try experiencing such a life for himself. His microphone was still on, so he added: "And my suggestion to Miss Motley is to find a broomstick to fly away on instead of shouting nonsense." Laughter from his fraction, angry faces from the other side of the room. Great job, Thomas concluded and left the lectern.

That woman was being ridiculous. Even comparing himself to such a low-life was out of the question. He would never lower himself to something like that. That's why he had been working hard all these years, studying politics and economics in order to get into the government. It did help a bit that his family was wealthy, but that was clearly because they have lived in this country forever and weren't some immigrant scum or sexual deviants. Thomas thought for a moment while adjusting his expensive suit and looked at his smartphone. He didn't care too much for the rest of the parliamentary day. There would be some speeches from opposing fractions and then there would be a vote where the majority would vote in favor of the raised minimum wage. Fools. Thomas shook his head and decided to go home early today.

He gathered his things and phoned his driver on the way out. Thomas scowled when he heard the man say that his car was still in maintenance since he didn't expect to be needed before the end of the session. It was really hard to find good staff these days. It was too far to walk, so he would have to take a cab. While he was walking to the cab stand, he messaged his secretary to fire his driver and find him a new one.

"What do you mean 'on a strike?'" He asked, incredulously. There had been no cabs at the stand and when he phoned the company, they just told him the cab drivers were on a strike today for higher wages. Angrily, he hung up. Just great! He would have to take the bus now. The bus. A public transport system for the poor. He hated them with every fiber of his being. They stank like hell, they were full of criminals and immigrants who couldn't even speak the language properly, and worst of all, they were overcrowded.

Fuming, he made his way to the bus stop and entered the vehicle. It was full, but he managed to secure him one of the last seats. It would take quite a while going by bus, so the first minutes, Thomas was busy swiping on his phone. It was really full and warm in here, with the smell of sweat and unwashed people assaulting his nose. He felt really uncomfortable and shifted around in his seat. He wanted to get back to using his phone, when he noticed that there was dirt under his fingernails. No wonder in this dirty environment. When he tried to clean it, he noticed that the nails on his other hand didn't look better. In fact, his whole hand looked dirty and rough, like he had tried to dig a hole in the garden. He frowned and inspected it closer. The skin seemed different and not only that, it was darker. He looked down at his designer shoes and saw that they were covered in mud.

"What the..." He muttered to himself. This wasn't possible. He was wearing his best clothes, which cost more than most people earned in a year. He looked down at his hands again and realized that his rings were gone as well. What the hell? Where are my rings? He took off his jacket and checked inside the pockets but found nothing. His cellphone was missing too.

Thomas began to panic. Had someone stolen his stuff? That was impossible. He just used his phone seconds ago! And that wasn't his jacket either, even though he just took it off. This was a high-vis vest made out of cheap reflective fabric, not the expensive jacket he was sure to have put on this morning.

"What the fuck is happening?" He said aloud, but nobody answered. All he got was an annoyed glance from a woman behind him. She gave him a dirty look and turned her attention back to her phone, ignoring him completely. Thomas looked at his hands again. There was something wrong with them. It was like looking at a strangers hands. The back of his hands looked dirty and hairy, with more dirt under his nails. The skin was darker than he used to. If he just saw these hands, he would think they belonged to someone used to working outside.

He checked his feet again, like this was all a bad dream. Still covered in mud. But these were not his shoes, either. He was wearing sturdy work boots all of a sudden. With steel toe caps. The leather was torn in places, too. He could feel that the soles were worn thin, and the heels weren't exactly comfortable to wear for long periods of time. Just as he was watching, his expensive dress pants changed next. Over the course of a few seconds, they shifted to a pair of worn work pants. His shirt and tie followed suit, but instead of changing into something else, they just disappeared into thin air, leaving him shirtless. A large leather toolbelt formed around his waist. Thomas couldn't believe his eyes. He was dressed like a filthy construction worker! He felt angry and helpless. He should call the police or something, but what would he tell them? That somehow his clothes just magically turned into some cheap worker attire?

Something else caught his eye. His work pants were pretty lose. If he were to stand up now, they would probably slide down his legs. However, as Thomas began to tighten his toolbelt, he watched in awe as his midsection began to expand. It was not that he was growing a gut; on the contrary, his belly even started to shrink. No, his hips started to widen with a broader build and fill in with muscles. At the same time, some coarse dark hairs started to appear on his abs. Not many, just a few. The changes quickly spread upwards, with his chest filling up with strong pectoral muscles. At the same time, he felt his upper legs touch his pants legs more tightly, as they filled with muscles, too.

Thomas's mind was reeling. He knew that there must be a logical explanation for this situation. It couldn't just happen by itself like this! So why did it happened? He thought about it hard and fast but came up empty. Generally speaking, thinking became more and more difficult for Thomas. It felt as if years of precious education that his parents paid for just evaporated from his mind.

As Thomas continued to stare at his body, he realized that the changes were far from over. His arms grew larger and stronger, and his shoulders broadened with each passing second. At the same time, his lower legs and feet thickened, filling out the pants and boots now much better than before. Even his face changed, becoming more masculine and rugged. His cheekbones stood out more clearly and his nose widened. His mind was getting more and more foggy during all of this, and as the changes reached his cock, his intellect was reduced to a way more simple, practical version of himself.

He had lost most knowledge of his once native language, but another language grew in to replace that. With some horror, Thomas realized he wasn't just becoming a dumb construction worker, but also an immigrant! He tried to hold on to his ethnic background, but it was like trying to catch sand. Before long, Tomasz knew he had lost the battle.

It might not be for the worst, he mused. After all, his genetics gifted him with some boons, like the enormous cock whose bulge was now prominently visible between his wide spread legs. He would have liked to man-spread even wider, but sadly, the confines of the bus didn't allow for that. Perhaps, if he worked hard, someday he would earn enough money to be able to afford a car.

Well, speaking of work, his stop came up next. He would have to walk have a mile after that to get to his current construction site, but that's life. Tomasz smirked, as his dick grew hard thinking about his colleagues. Perhaps a few of the other men would be up to releasing some steam in the break, after a smoke and a beer perhaps. It slowly became a regular thing between them to pound each other’s asses, and he loved it more every day. If only he had enough money for condoms.

[michixoxo]

"𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙨/𝙤?"

how would unO main cast boys (arlo, john, blyke, isen) treat their s/o?

John

i don't think you know how much he loves you.

you are his whole WORLD and he'd give anything to be with you

he's definitely bordering on clingy, always wanting to be near you but understanding if that can't always happen (though he pouts and mopes)

then again, he also depends on you for a lot of his happiness and emotional stability.

his mood swings like a pendulum based on your every action. even more so during king John era. he tries not to make you worry but his anger is inevitable and he'd end up lashing out on you.

yet, in his heart, he wants the best for you. he holds you high up onto a pedestal and has a lot of respect for you.

during his cripple arc, many people would also target you by association based on if you were weaker than them, and the low tiers definitely mocked your relationship.

he put on a nonchalant face for you but became deeply insecure about how you felt about it. whether or not he was lying didn't matter if you thought it was true.

he contemplated if he should be honest with you. however, he stalls long enough that eventually, when you tell him that you're not bothered by it, all his anxiety washes away.

has he said how much he loves you?

overall, he'd never be the best boyfriend, but as long as his mentality is okay, then he strives to be.

Arlo

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

the students of Wellston joke and whisper about how different he is to you than everyone else.

"favoritism at its finest"

he doesn't think he's that much different really. all he does is walk you to class, help you do your homework, write notes for you, save you the triple chocolate cake-

okay, maybe he's a little different.

he definitely thinks that love is conditional. so, he tries to maintain his usefulness as a boyfriend by doing things for you. not like he minds, but its much less out of the goodness of his heart than you think it is.

still he tries! if you're weaker than him then everyone already knows that you're off limits with any type of bullying or violence against you. you're "his", and that makes his heart flutter more than he likes to admit.

not unsurprisingly, you're not immune to his negative traits.

there will be times where he'll lie to you for his best interest. you might ask him to be gentler to Wellston's opponents during turf wars and he'll say "okay", only for you to find out that all the opponents got hospitalized.

he doesn't lie to hurt you, in fact, he lies in order to keep from upsetting you. he isn't that emotionally in tune but he knows when something he does will impact you. so, isn't he just sparing you?

overall, he's very protective over you. not the best boyfriend, but investing in a lie detector might prove more useful than actually expecting him to communicate effectively.

Blyke

absolute cutie patootie

boy next door vibes straight away

you guys probably placed cutest couple in some not-so-secret school wide vote. and how could you not?

you guys are always next to each other, but not enough to be annoying to everyone else. the "conjoined at the hip" and "where's your other half" are everyone's first sentence once they notice you both aren't together.

and he's so soft towards you. like he'll look at you and just smile, basking in your presence. when he says he'll do anything for you, he means it, and you know he does.

he'd like to take you out to different places, all very casual. having a gym date or a picnic is one of the many activities you two do together.

that said, insecurity is an evil, ugly thing.

you know deep down that no matter how long you stay by his side, there's no way you'll ever be apart of "The Trio", four's a crowd if you couldn't already tell by the secret inside jokes they whisper around each other or how they disappear at night randomly and only are back in the dawn of the morning.

once you find out about the vigilante stuff, you are tempted to tell him to stop, that he's risking his life. but you know that it's only an ultimatum, "me, or them?". an ultimatum you're destined to lose.

so, you stay quiet. and he does too. because you know, he knows. and he knows, if it ever came down to it, what he'd chose.

overall, there isn't a fault to be found with this cutie pie. he's cute, you're cute, and together, you're the cutest. so, stay in your place, wouldn't want to ruin anything now would you?

Isen

look at him. look. LOOK AT HIM RIGHT NOW

yall are so annoying together its actually insane.

like you both compliment each other so well that its like having two isens all the time, always making sarcastic comments and unhelpful tidbits.

you know-it-alls are the schools worst nightmare. if you're in the press club as well then everyone is always on high alert. they never know when one of you might catch them red-handed and then plaster it on every wall of the school, ruining their reputation, getting them expelled, taking their health insurance away-

but when you're alone, you guys are each other's best friends. he'd be really comfortable being vulnerable with you and telling you secrets, he'd trust you a lot and you'd be his biggest confidant.

which is great until arlo wants to know something and diverts his wrath onto you instead

depending on how strong you are, you aren't really that afraid of arlo or john which leads to moments where he's hiding behind you while you stare up at the two god-tiers.

but, despite it all, you face the same struggles as blyke's s/o

no matter how much you mean to him, it will always pale in comparison to what they mean to him. he might tell you about the vigilante stuff first, though only after mounting pressure.

before you can even get a word out, he yells that he won't stop, that he can't leave them alone. you wonder, "you can't leave them but you can with me?"

maybe you argue, maybe you don't, but he's made his choice.

overall, you're both insufferable. but you're insufferable together, and that's all that matters right? he loves you, so don't give him a reason not to.

[khywae]

No more fanfiction

Hey loves,

I just wanted to chat with you about a new direction I'm taking in my career.

My recent trip made me rethink a lot of things. It made me realize how short life is and how much time I've “lost” due to mental health struggles. My mind was my number #1 enemy, but not anymore. Now I'm determined to pursue my dreams unapologetically.

My biggest dream is to create a lasting legacy. I want to leave behind tons of content with the female gaze, portraying men as objects of desire rather than just women. It might seem like a silly dream compared to other, more grandiose ones, but I never had access to a lot of content like that. I always felt starved, scavenging the internet for scraps, especially when it came to submissive men. While I've found solace in the writing world, which flourishes with the female gaze, it’s still not enough. Men are just too gorgeous not to be appreciated in other forms of art. I want to live in a world where women have access to quality female gaze content and don’t have to resort to the male gaze if they don’t wish to. That means no faceless dudes, no showing only the woman’s body, and no men so ugly that could make a freight train take a dirt road. Enough.

To turn this dream into reality, I started to think. I could continue with writing, but as you guys can see from the number of words in The Muse and the time it took me to write it (6 fucking years), it would take too long. As the old saying goes, ars longa, vita brevis. Art takes a long time, and life is short. And I, my darlings, have a mission.

Because I love writing too much, I need something that limits the amount I can write. I thought about making videos, but it took out a large portion of the writing part, and it left me unsatisfied. After a lot of thought, I realized that video games can be the solution. They have visual elements, so I don’t need/can’t rely so heavily on my writing; I love games, I play them every day; and I can count on my fingers the number of adult games for women, meaning we need more. A lot more.

Like our himbo icon Kronk says, oh yeah, it’s all coming together.

So I'm excited to announce that I'll be creating games – fangames at first – that mix the interactive side of games and the smut from fanfiction. The SFW version of the games will be free, and the NSFW version and other perks can be accessed through my (freshly launched!) Patreon. There you'll have the power to vote for the next character featured in the games, access work-in-progress pictures and animations, see my writing process, and more. I’m still figuring things out, but I’m super hyped for this!

Currently, I’m working on the very first game of this legacy, called My Assassin Bodyguard. Yes, I transformed the Toji video/fanfic idea that I posted before into a game. You can play the demo now on itch.io!! You don't even have to download woooo!! The game may seem really basic as I get a hang of things and learn new software, but with time we’ll make improvements, such as adding different player characters, a smut gallery, and voice acting (!!!). Anything to make the experience the best it can be.

For those of you who are mostly here for my writing, don’t despair. My writing will still be alive, just in a different medium that needs me right now. I hope you understand. Thank you for your support all these years, for being here through it all. I'd be thrilled for you to join me on this new journey and help me bring this dream to life, together.

So here's the link to Patreon! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) I hope to see you there! But if you can’t, I’ll still post updates here and you can always play the games on itch for free. After this dream is accomplished, my next mission will be to write books. Maybe I’ll do it along the way. We’ll see. Life’s full of surprises after all, and that’s the beauty of it. Let's enjoy it the best we can ♡

With love,

Khywae

TL;DR: Life's too short, I write too much and too slow, and I've got a ton of content to create to make my dream happen. So I'm switching to game development for now. I'd love for you to join me on this journey to make this dream a reality. Thank you for everything, love you.

P.S.:

About the Lore

I was so excited about this that I created a little world. Based on the two iconic fanfiction terms —ship and canon—, and my love for Pirate AUs, I came up with a world where we sail across the ocean, collecting ingredients to craft Tapes that connect us with different Alternate Universes. It’s basically a Witch-Pirates-‘90s nostalgia mix. I've got plans to flesh it out even more over time, like adding some decorations, some hot pirates... Important stuff, you know?

Here's the boat in its simplest form, to symbolize that our journey is just starting:

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

The Economic Difference Between The Miner and Mine Owner's Daughter

Chapter Three

Based of this ask (the dialogue from there is used here)

Rated Explicit | Warning: period typical sexism, noncon, non-Consensual somnophilia

Ao3

Taglist: @anastasiablossomlove @tfamidoingwithmylife

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

“Finish her off, Norton.”

When he first saw you, he wished you were dead. Just another rich kid with pockets lined with daddy's money. Your fucking suitor laughing as Norton was getting jumped for his lunch. Sickening, the misery of the poor is entertainment for people like you! Laughing as they fight for table scraps, as the poor are willing to do anything to just have a warm bed to sleep on, speaking on behalf of the poor yet none of them ever struggled!

Every day is a fight. Every night is a fight. The moment he was born, his fate was sealed in the black ink signature of your father's name. Norton had no chance, your father stole that from him!

What? Do you think a few shared meals would make him suddenly think differently of you? Ha, no, he meant what he said back then. If things worked his way, you would be on your knees sucking him off while your father grieved seeing his daughter sell herself for his survival.

The nerve you have to spit out that nonsense about change, hah, politicians say anything for some votes. Everyone knows the corporations won't let them actually change things. Too many hands have been greased to change the status quo. 

Nah, the only change he cares about is whether or not he will get out of this debt his father cursed him with by striking it big.

Damn, bastards! Damn all of them to hell and back!

It would be no surprise if they do not find any gold, they use him as a scapegoat. Quick to take the credit, quick to throw to the wolves. Your father will soon be like all the others.

Buried alive. At least in death, everyone is made equal.

Norton’s hands squeezing your throat, a grin on his face seeing you struggle to breathe.

Until your hand touches the scar, soft and gentle, he can see the tears running down the side of your face. Your voice cracks as you beg him to snap out of 

“Norton~,” The purr of the voice in his voice feeds into his anger, “She's right there. Just get rid of her!” Yelling at him.

It will be quick, a snap and all of it will be over.

Yet, he finds himself thinking about the bread you made for him. Yes, it was for him as a gift. Warm, moist, and fresh; all for him with a cup of warm tea.

Your father… You are not like him. Like others who laugh and look down at him, you honestly want to help. Stupid girl, truly, big dreams with no idea how reality works or how this world will chew someone and spit them out.

No good person lives long enough to see the change they fought for happen.

He flinches, you cup the side of his face, “Fight it.” Desperately trying to call out to him. “Please, Norton.”

“Come on, Norton.” Exaggerating the word ‘on’, dragging it out as if bored. “You have an arrogant little flower under you.”

When you approached him, you referred to him as ‘Mr. Campbell’ as if you respected him. It felt like a joke, an insult as you could—should—have been like everyone else. Constantly fighting, struggling, hyper-aware, plotting. He glares down at you, grabbing your hand and slamming it hard on the ground while making sure to have a painful grip on your wrist.

The pained sound you make is music to his ears, the wicked grin on his face growing with 

The rise and fall of your chest makes him very aware of your breasts covered by the blouse. Whenever he sees you around the worksite, you look… Normal. No showy dress, no lace fan (the one you did have you broke), hell, everyone saw you only wear pants. 

But here, right before the end, you are wearing a dress. The sort of dress one wears in the winter, a bright color that greatly contrasts with the current environment.

“Why don't you show this selfish delicate flower how to behave… Hm?” Dragging out the last few syllables as if moaning with excitement.

You have the nerve to smell good too, clean and sweet like a ripe freshly washed fruit.

The fight for air is a struggle he knows you cannot win. Watching your eyes roll back, the small fading gasps for air, and soon your struggling becomes weaker and weaker.

“Nortoooon,” The voice rings in his mind echoing in his own voice, “.... Come on now….” The voice draws him back seeing your life fade by his hand.

Slip you into unconsciousness. Body going slump on the ground, you look peaceful now.

Did he kill you?! Shit, shit, fuck! He shakes you then places his hand over your chest, a sigh of relief as he hears your heartbeat. The twisted thoughts in his mind raced between needing to escape and… And… Your perfume is sweet. Your clothes are so clean. You are like an angel sent from above into this dark hellhole.

The first button is the hardest, his hands are unsteady.

The second button is easier but still hard, the voice tells him to take; after all, your father took everything from him too.

The third button reveals part of your chemise, plain which he supposes he should have expected to not look like one the other miners talk about after a venture into a pleasure den.

The fourth button and the voice is getting angry, yelling at him again to hurry. Norton swears he can feel something moving his arms without him doing anything.

The other buttons are ripped open, his face buried in your neck as he sharply inhales, it is so different from his own skin. Soft, bathed, unmarked.

“Bite. Mark her.”

It speaks and he does it. Each touch of his chapped lips on your flawless skin is marked by his teeth. Some barely barely a mark while others are deep enough to leave dark bruising, those are above your breasts. Your clothes are cumbersome and it is more work to try to remove your clothes in a civilized way rather than ripping them open, but that is what he does.

The personality switch is not instant, it is through the actions he would have never done if not for this damn cave. He was the ripe fruit plucked and feasted upon, his mind slowly corrupted by the abyss he was forced to dig through.

“Fuckin’ hate you wearing these.” The voice is darker, laced with greed and lust, he tears open your bloomers as if it was made of paper. A mess of your clothes half torn and his buckle that decides to be a pain in the ass, not like he can stop himself.

The only moment he stops is when he growls at himself for not knowing what to do, of fucking course he knows the layout of what to do but the fine detail escape him. Worse, the guilt in the back of him is fighting himself right now. Fighting enough that he has to remove a glove, spit on his hand, and jerk himself off.

“Damn you,” Touching your legs, his black dust-covered glove marking your skin, he finds it rather hotter than the bitemarks all over your neck. When he kisses you, oh you taste like something sweet too, he has to stop to cough out his damn lungs. “When I am done with you, you won’t even know how ruined you are going to be.” Exasperated and angry.

When he is hard enough to thrust inside of you, he swears he saw stars. Bliss but you are so tight. Dry too but this is not about you. The scent of blood makes him laugh as you just lost your virginity in a damn coal mine--Blood for blood, justice.

Each thrust is hard because he hates leaving your heat. Your body reacts to him by getting wet, your moans in your current state are low,  his pace is awkward and selfish. This whole situation is selfish. Grabbing everything he can touch about you, kissing you when he needs a taste of you. When he feels himself about to cum, he makes sure it is all over the floor with your blood.

The whole activity was tiring.

The voice is in control, pleased but annoyed as he now has to figure out what to do next. Kill you with the others or… He raises an eyebrow at a bright idea.

[911lonestar911imagines]

Instincts - Strands and Carlos + Reader

Summary: You fall victim to a kidnapping, and your brother-in-law has to use his instincts to save you

warnings: kidnapping, mentions of guns, mentions of a break-in

There was no doubt TK Strand and his younger sister, Y/n, were close. Ever since little TK met his baby sister in the hospital room whenever she was born, he knew that she was gonna be his world. Owen and Gwyn were proud to have kids that were so close and protective over each other, but it did come with its struggles. After the divorce there was split custody, but your older brother mainly lived with your father on weekdays, and you lived with your mom on weekdays, and neither of you took it well at all.

You moved to Texas with them, you stood a four week argument with both parents about going with the boys, you couldn't leave your brother, different cities is one thing, but across the country? No.

So now you sat on your dad's couch, watching them get ready for a shift, both of them arguing about who needs to be here with you "I vote nobody because I'm old enough to be home alone?" You questioned, they were acting like you were a kid and had never been home alone before. "I can have Carlos stop by occasionally between calls?" Tk suggested, Owen humming in agreement as he grabbed his keys "Alright, let's go then" You watched as the two left leaving you in the giant home with only buttercup as company.

Carlos sighed taking a right onto the street he's become all too familiar with, as he pulled into the Strand residence, he got an eery feeling. He no longer felt like he was checking in on his boyfriend's sister, but as if he was responding to a call. Every light in the house was on except for the outside lights, and there wasn't a noise to be heard whenever he pressed his ear to the door, Now Tk and Carlos have scared you for fun way too many times, and normally every time, he can hear some type of music or tv going, but absolutely nothing other than the faint whine of Buttercup.

Carlos felt his body tense, his hands started to feel clammy as he called Tk "Hi baby" His excited tone came through the phone, and it was almost enough to return Carlos back into his calm state. "Carlos..what's wrong?" Tk became nervous, Carlos was never quiet on the phone unless he was also getting himself into something. He looked over at Owen who was a few feet away from him, who in return walked over worried as well from his son's expression. "Tk. Don't panic..but the door is locked..and I don't have a good feeling..I need permission from your dad to force myself into the home" Carlos's tone was tensed, but trying to remain calm "Carlos listen to me, They put her on a new medication, so most likely she's asleep a little earlier than usual" Owen's voice came over the speaker of Carlos's phone, He took a breath trying to calm himself down "I-I'll see if I can't wake her up by knocking" He said before hanging up, Carlos couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong though, he just wasn't to call anything in until he was sure. As he walked around the house, his heart sank, Owen's sliding glass door was completely shattered out. He took off for his cruiser "This is Officer Reyes! I have a break in at 7329 Kinsle boulevard, unknown on any suspects or victims, requesting backup" He called over his radio before putting his tactical belt on and running back up to the door. "Dispatch, I need patched into a call" He said shakily while trying to kick Owen's front door in "What's up Carlos, baby?" Grace's voice responded getting her screen ready "Grace, there's been a break in at Captain Strand's. I need you to connect me to him" He said finally busting through the door, Buttercup slowly running over to him timidly. "Carlos? What's going on? Grace said it's urgent" Owen said over the radio, Carlos felt a lump in his throat as he started clearing rooms "Owen. There's been a break-in, they broke through your balcony door, Y/n's not here" He said standing in your bedroom, trying to process how badly the house was ransacked. "I'll be there, Carlos" He said sternly before his radio went quiet again, It felt like eternity but finally, Tk broke his trance, standing in front of his boyfriend with tears brimming his eyes.

"Baby. what happened?" Tk asked, Carlos could hear Owen in the background screaming your name.

Everything hurt, you could barely feel your hands, and the smell wherever you were made you gag. You blinked your eyes repeatedly trying to clear your vision "d-dad!?" You yelled, trying to gain familiarity in your surroundings. "Wrong" You heard a voice a couple feet away, any feelings of safety you felt were gone. "W-Who are you? My brothers are a cop and firefighter, and my dad's the fire captain, they're gonna find me" You tried to sound intimidating, but the fear in your voice was obvious. "I know." If they could've said anything, anything at all, you wished they hadn't. As you looked around you noticed your hands starting to turn purple "H-Hey! I-I'm losing circulation, I need my thing loosened" You yelled out trying to loosen the ties, but the person never came out, you could only hear the creaking of a rocking chair.

Carlos stood off to the side watching the detective trying to track down where you were. Tk stood next to him staring at the screen of your BOLO "I-I should've been there sooner..I'm so sorry Tk" Carlos whispered, trying to fight back the tears he had been fighting all night. "You couldn't have known..it's okay" He whispered pulling Carlos into a hug. "Reyes..We got a possible lead, ready?" His captain asked, Carlos gave Tk a nod before getting into his cruiser following behind the rest of the police officers.

As they pulled up to the warehouse, Carlos slowly got out, pulling out his gun as he caught up with his captain to figure out their spread plan.

You whimpered forcing your head as far away as you could from the woman squatted in front of you, explaining how killing you will send a message to government officials in Austin. You screamed loudly as you heard a loud bang, almost like an explosion, you held yourself tightly tucking your head down to protect yourself "Y/N!?" You heard Carlos yell along with other officers "Carlos!" You cried out trying to move "No! No! She's got a gun!" You yelled out seeing them approach the room you were in, you kept eye contact on the woman, she had the gun aimed right at your head. "Please just let me go" You whimpered "m-my big brother..The firefighter..we just lost our mom..we've always been close..please don't take me away from him.." You begged, jumping and starting to cry whenever you heard a loud gunshot echo off the cement walls. Carlos ran over after watching the woman fall to the ground, trying to cup your cheeks in his hands but you swung your arms and kicked at him in protest "Y/n! You're okay" He yelled out, watching as you let your guard down falling into his hug "You're okay, you're okay..we're gonna get you back to your brother and dad" He whispered petting your hair down as he cut the ties off of your wrists and ankles, lifting you up into his arms as he carried you out towards the EMS vehicle. "18 year old female! no surface wounds from what I can see" He called out as he laid you out on the gurney. You squinted your eyes to the light seeing your brother running towards you, Tommy and Nancy looking down at your smiling trying to comfort you "Hey sweetheart, we're gonna get you all looked at" Tommy whispered as Tk grabbed your hand "Tk" You smiled sighing in relief as you closed your eyes letting yourself relax. "Y/n?..y/n!" You heard Tk shout "She's flatlining! Nancy start compressions!" Tommy shouted as she loaded you into the ambulance.

part two?

[restlessmaknae]

crush into you // myung jaehyun

When you literally crush into Jaehyun on your way to an interview, the boy manages to spill iced coffee on your blouse. That's how you end up wearing his own blazer to the interview to cover up the spot, and the rest is history.

➳ Characters: uni student!Jaehyun x uni student!female reader/you

➳ Genre: meet cute, slice of life, uni au, fluff

➳ Words: 3k

➳ Warning: mentions of foods

➳ A/N: This story had the second most votes in my recent poll, so here it is. I'm really enjoying their comeback, so it was very easy to write a story about Jaehyun. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! ❤️

➳ Taglist: @s00buwu, @dat-town

Your days were carefully planned out with written to-do lists, calendar apps filling up your phone, and multiple scenarios made up with every plan that you might have. Just like today when you were about to go to an assessment centre as part of a job interview: a 3-hour selection process with an hour of group work, an hour of one-on-one interview with the hiring manager alongside an HR specialist and an hour for individual tests. You planned out when to leave the flat, when to get on the bus, which bus to take in case you didn’t manage to get on the exact bus you wanted and when you could possibly leave your neighbourhood the latest in order to still get to the company in time.

Myung Jaehyun’s days, on the other hand, were a hot mess. He was frequently running late from classes, group work meet-ups and dance practices, high on adrenaline and energy drinks. No one blamed him because the moment he flashed a smile, it was game over for them. Taesan might have given him a bombastic side eye for such a comment, but it was rare that anyone really reprimanded Jaehyun for being a bit too hyper, a bit too all over the place and a bit of a kid at times.

So when you literally crushed into him as you turned a corner towards the company and he was running around with his iced coffee in hand, trying not to be late from a class, on his part, the collision wasn’t that unexpected.

On your part though, it totally was.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry,” the boy exclaimed first things first just at the same time as you started apologising to him, but when you felt an odd cold sensation around your abdominal area, you immediately looked down at your white blouse, your lips parting in disbelief.

“Oh nooo,” you pouted, looking at the brownish spot on your white blouse caused by his coffee, multiple scenarios crossing your head as to how to fix this. You didn’t have enough time to go back to your flat to change, you weren’t familiar with the area, so you didn’t know whether they had a clothes shop around, and you didn’t know whether trying to get the stain out would only make it worse and the spot more noticeable or not.

“Oh. My. Gosh. I’m so… very… sorry,” the stranger reacted more dramatically than you would have thought so, all wide eyes and exasperated expression tinting his otherwise boyish features, messy jet-black locks falling into his eyes. As opposed to your business casual style - white blouse with black cotton pants and high-heeled sandals -, he looked more like a sophisticated yet fashionable guy around campus with his burgundy sports shoes, leather pants, a simple white tee, a black blazer and multiple accessories crowning the look from rings on his fingers to necklaces gracing his skin. You couldn’t have looked any different at that moment.

“I’ll make it up, I promise. Are you in a hurry, are you heading somewhere?” He asked nevertheless, his puppy eyes also in contrast to his whole appearance.

“Well, yeah, I’m going for a job interview. I’ll have to be there in 15 minutes, and it’s still like a 5-minute walk from here.”

“Oh no, that’s not good,” he shook his head, and with the hand that didn’t hold the half-empty cup of the rest of his coffee, he scratched the back of his neck. He bit down on his lower lip, clearly in deep contemplation, and you were about to end this whole conversation when his actions made you freeze on the spot. In a whirlwind moment of events, he threw his cup into a nearby trash can, got a tissue out of his pocket to clean his hand that the coffee also spilled onto and slid the blazer off himself to reach it out to you. “Here, take this. It might be a bit big on you, but it will cover up the spot nicely, and I think it will go well with your outfit.”

“But…”

“Please, take it. I don’t really know what else to do right now, and you have a job interview in 15 minutes, and I’m terribly sorry, and I don’t want you to mess it up because of me. So it might be worth a try? I don’t know, I just…” The boy kept talking on and on, his voice cheery yet also filled with guilt, and seeing his puppy eyes shining with genuine care, you didn’t have the heart to say no. What could possibly go wrong about trying it on either way?

“I was about to say that it’s actually a pretty smart idea,” you pointed out as you reached out for the blazer, and the boy’s face lit up fully when you complimented him. He flashed you a wide, toothy grin, his smile pushing his lips closer to his eyes, so much that his eyes almost disappeared while he was smiling at you.

The boy even offered to hold your bag while you put the blazer on, and since it had two buttons on the bottom, it allowed you to fully cover up the spot as if it had never been there. He was right though, it was big on you, but oversized was in fashion these days, right?

“Oh my gosh, it really does fit you,” he pointed it out in a similarly excited manner as before, and you smiled back at him, forgetting for a moment why you had even been wearing his clothes. Just for a moment though, you were back to your planning self within a second.

“Thanks for your help, but I really need to go now. Would you give me your number, so I can give it back to you later on?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he said as he fished his phone out of his pocket to exchange contacts with you. As you locked your screen after saving his number, you looked up at him, into his shining jet-black orbs, and for a moment, you didn’t know what to say. Gosh, your days were always so planned out, plan Bs and Cs tucked into your mind with every scenario that you could imagine, yet this, this was exactly the kind of thing you could not prepare yourself for. No wonder you were awfully unprepared for what to say.

Luckily, he was the one who woke up from his stupor first as he announced:

“Let me know how the interview goes. Good luck! You’ve got this!” He cheered you on as he threw his balled fists into the air, and off he went, the picture of his wide, toothy smile and his shining eyes difficult to forget even if you had more important things to concentrate on.

You agreed on meeting at a café a few days later. Those few days were enough for you to wash and dry clean the blazer, and to get a gift bag, so you could give it back to the boy (Jaehyun based on his KKT ID) in a presentable manner. You were supposed to be early for your agreed meet-up as you made your way to the café 10 minutes earlier, but you already found Jaehyun sitting at a corner table, scrolling through his phone and occasionally laughing out loud at whatever he was watching.

Jaehyun was not supposed to be early for your agreed meet-up, but given your well-prepared state the last time you had met, he started wondering where you could be at 15:15 when he had thrown himself into the café, totally panicked that you must have already been sitting there. Only to realise upon checking your messages with you that you had actually agreed on meeting at 15:30, meaning that he was actually 15 minutes early, not 15 minutes late. Not too bad for someone like him though.

So when you walked up to him and your voice dragged him out of his mindless scrolling, he flashed a wide smile at you, the one that had been engraved into your memories since your first encounter.

“Hey! Have you been waiting for a long time?” You inquired curiously as you hopped down on the chair on the opposite side of the table. Jaehyun let out a semi-embarrassed chuckle, one that made you furrow your eyebrows in question, although the smile was still playing on your lips.

“Well, that’s a funny story,” he started with a scratch on his neck before he continued with the story. “I thought… no, I was convinced that we were supposed to meet at 15:00, and so, I was fashionably late as usual. You know how I said that I’m usually late, but I’ll try my best to come on time. When I didn’t see you here at 15:15 when I got here, I checked our conversation on KKT, and it turns out we were supposed to meet at 15:30, so I was 15 minutes early.”

“Oh my gosh,” you couldn’t hold back your laughter as you were listening to his explanation, and the way he told the story made everything ten times funnier. He used wide hand gestures while speaking, and he played with his tone to deliver the parts of the story even more clearly. The boy laughed at himself too, so it didn’t feel weird laughing at his antics, something so unlike yours.

After pulling yourself together, you gave him the bag with the clean blazer, yet, he insisted that you shouldn’t have cleaned it yourself and bought a gift bag for him in which you delivered it. Hearing that, you insisted that crushing into him was partly your fault, and he did save you from having to sit though the 3-hour selection process with a visible coffee-stain on your blouse, so this was the least you could do. Plus, even though you didn’t say it out loud, you found it cute how he had asked about your interview afterwards on KKT (what position it was for, what company it was and how it went), and how delighted he had been when you had told him that you think you had done well. He had sent some encouraging memes in return (like the kid with his balled fists and a determined face), and just the thought that pretty much a stranger like him could be so happy and cheer you on eased your frazzled nerves post-interview.

You ordered your drinks while he was asking about your days and how you had been since you had last met. That’s when your phone buzzed, and seeing the company’s name on the screen that you had interviewed for, you immediately reached for it. Swiftly, you unlocked your screen and opened the message, only to let out a little bit of a squeal when you saw that you had gotten in.

“Oh my god, what is it?” Jaehyun asked, and his confusion was written all over his features when you looked up from your phone.

“I’ve got the internship! I’ve got in!”

Immediately, the boy’s features softened, and his lips pulled into a genuine, wide smile that could outdo the sun, his jet-black orbs twinkling with joy.

“Wow, congrats! That’s so cool!” He beamed, practically as excited as you, and clapped his hands enthusiastically. You could see from the corner of your eyes that you got some stares from the people nearby, but you couldn’t care less in your state. Finally, you landed an internship offer! “It’s totally the blazer’s doing though,” Jaehyun added cheekily, his smile turning into a crooked, almost cocky one.

“Yeah, totally, me and your emotional support blazer against the world,” you replied in a similarly teasing tone, and let out a laugh at the same time as the boy did. Gosh, who would have thought that you would meet him for the first time on the day you interviewed for the company, and you would meet him again when you were notified of your result?

Maybe he was really your lucky charm.

“You gotta celebrate though. Let’s order cake! I think I saw some cakes on the menu, and before you object, it’s on me,” the boy announced matter-of-factly, and grabbed a menu from a nearby empty table. You shook your head, seeing his pumped up state, since you couldn’t believe that he was so supportive of you. After all, you had barely met a week ago, and still, he acted as if you had always known each other, and it warmed your heart.

In the end, you did order some cakes (and you let Jaehyun pay for them), and while you were munching on them, you talked… and talked… and talked some more since it seemed that you could never run out of things to share. First and foremost, Jaehyun always had a story to share - mostly chaotic, yet partly cute ones -, and even if he didn’t, he always asked about your side, and it was just so easy to talk to him. Usually, you needed some time to open up to people, but he made talking to him feel so easy, so light, so comfortable.

Your favourite was when he insisted that he looked like a wolf, and pouted when you agreed with all his friends who said that he looked more like a puppy. When you added that if not a puppy, you saw him as a bunny, he perked up because that was the first time he heard about it. Never have you ever thought that a boy like him could get so specific about the animal he resembled, but you let him talk about it all he wanted to see those eyes shining so bright, to see that smile stretching so wide.

You packed up only when the waitress came by to tell you that you were nearing closing hours, and if that wasn’t a sign that you did lose track of time beside him, you had no idea what could indicate it more that beside him, you wanted to stop time, not wait for it to go by faster.

You had one crush in your whole life, and that had been when you had been 12, and the new kid had entered your class, and he had sat beside you. Said kid had turned out to be a total nutcase when he had opened his mouth, and you had officially dropped your crush 3 weeks into the new school year, and ever since then, you had never felt butterflies in your stomach, let alone declare your love for someone.

Until him.

Jaehyun had too many crushes in his life to count. His heart was just as erratic as his life, and it’s not that he was playing with others’ feelings, it’s more like he had too much love and joy to give others, but they didn’t always appreciate it. He fell in love easily, only to have his heart broken even more easily because his crushes had never liked him back.

Until you.

At first, you didn’t know if he felt the same way because he seemed so casual, you found it hard to believe that he could see you as more than a friend.

At first, he didn’t know if you felt the same way because you seemed so cool, so put together, he found it hard to believe that you could see him as more than a friend with his very different (and very chaotic) self.

Then, you started picking up on the signs: the way he showed you his dance practice routines to ask for your opinion when it was just the two of you at the dance studio he attended; the way he was ever so oblivious to the barista girl at a café because he only had eyes for you; the way he always asked about your day on KKT and sent memes to match your mood; the way he remembered every little thing - the date of your first 1-on-1 with your manager during your internship or when you would go to the dentist - despite telling you that his memory was terrible, and when he sent you photos of clothes that he thought you would like when he was shopping.

Then, he started picking up on the signs: the way you always gave him a detailed feedback on his choreographies when he asked you to even though you said you didn’t know anything about dance; the way you totally didn’t want to acknowledge that a guy was trying to flirt with you when you went to the cinema together and said that you were with Jaehyun as if to signal that there was no room for anyone else (his heart did a thing there, he couldn’t lie); the way you always knew what to say when he doubted himself or he was under the weather and sent him songs to make him feel better; the way you remembered every little thing - his favourite colour, the brand of his favourite snack and the plushies he wanted to win in the arcade game -, and how you kept bringing up his emotional support blazer because this was your little joke, this was your little thing.

No wonder this was how he confessed: buying you the exact same blazer in your size, and saying that you could think of it as your own emotional support blazer from now on or a couple item, you could choose.

And you would be foolish not to choose the latter.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think!

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for BOYNEXTDOOR or for other artists, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Long, Long Time

Summary: While at the store one day, unexpected visitors from the reader’s past reappear. Sometimes though you should be careful what you wish for...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 13,600ish

Warnings: language, so much angst

A/N: This one’s a wee bit of a doozy! 

__________

“Does mom like carrot cake?” you asked as you pushed the cart down the baking aisle. JJ shrugged as your dad picked up a box mix. “Guys. Focus. We’re here for ideas, not the mix remember?”

“Why does mom get a homemade cake and I don’t?” he asked, shaking a chocolate mix.

“Uh, your cookie cake was homemade, thank you very much,” said JJ. “What do you think I was doing at Y/N’s the night before?”

“You said you went over there for help with your math homework,” he grumbled, setting the box mix down.

“Oh yeah, she never comes over for homework help,” you laughed, your dad groaning. “He’s so sweetly innocent, isn’t he?”

“He really is,” she laughed as he grumbled, picking up a lemon box.

“Is seventeen when the sass comes out like extra hard? I’m sensing a theme developing with my children,” he said, JJ taking the box and putting it back. “Well…thank you for the cookie cake. I suppose we should do something homemade for mom then.”

“I vote for strawberry,” said Arrow from further down the aisle, Zeppelin rolling his eyes at her. “What?”

“Strawberry’s gross. It should be chocolate.” 

“I second chocolate,” said your dad.

“I think we should do funfetti,” said JJ, Arrow quickly agreeing. 

“You’re tie vote, tall munchkin. What’s it gonna be?” asked your dad. 

“I’m going to have to go for-” You cut yourself off when you saw two figures further down the aisle by the flour, feet instantly taking you closer. You froze when you recognized them, their heads turning when they felt your stare.

“Uh, Y/N?” asked Arrow, your dad quickly by your side. 

“Oh my god,” said the woman, her hands covering her mouth. The man was slack jawed as your dad grabbed your shoulders.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Who-” he cut himself off too when he looked at them properly, his eyes wide. “That’s not possible.”

“Uh, who are these people?” whispered Zeppelin in your ear as you and your dad just exchanged blank stares with the couple.

“This is Don and Brandie,” you breathed out. “My parents.”

“Your parents died,” he mumbled. “That’s not-”

“Is this your family?” whispered your dad. You nodded, taking a small step forward.

“This is really happening?” you asked. You felt a steady hand on your back and looked up, your dad’s green eyes still shocked but smiling down at you. “You see them too?”

“They’re real, kiddo.” You took another step forward and then you were in their arms, being smothered in a deep hug. Your head hurt. It didn’t make sense. Nothing made fucking sense. 

But god did something inside of you heal at being in their arms once more.

Two Hours Later

You were jumping for joy when you got back home, your parents on their way over to talk through everything. It was apparently very long and complicated which you were sort of expecting considering you’d thought they were dead for the past nineteen years. 

But an unsettling feeling overcame you as you watched your dad go to the back porch with a bottle of whiskey the second you got home. Your siblings were gratefully old enough to know how serious this was and decided to head to your house to bake the two different cakes they’d settled on. 

Which left you alone with your dad for the moment.

You opened the back door, finding him looking out at the water, whiskey and empty glass on the table behind him. He was breathing heavily, your heart aching as happy as it was. You walked up behind him and gave him a hug, his body flinching at the touch.

“Don’t be stupid, dad. This just means I have two sets of parents at the same time. That’s all it means. Nothing else has changed.” You slid up under his arm, surprised to find him fighting back tears. “Dad?”

“You don’t have to do that for me, for us. Your parents are alive, Y/N. You don’t-” You grabbed his right side where his scar was with one hand, his bicep where his tattoo for you with the other. He blinked a few times, swallowing thickly. 

“You are my father and Dee is mother just as much as Don and Brandie. You have never been second to them.”

“Y/N,” he whispered, forcing a sad smile. “They’re your parents. You can pick-Ow!” he said when you squeezed him hard.

“My parents have been back for two hours and you already think I’d walk away? Are you still scared that this is conditional love on my part?” His jaw dropped before he squeezed his eyes shut.

“TJ told you I said that a while back, didn’t he,” he said, voice ragged.

“It has always been unconditional. And you…with how much you love me, you’d let me walk away like that to make me happy, wouldn’t you?” He nodded, pursing his lips.

“We love you with all our hearts and that means letting you go where you’re happiest. If that was somewhere else, then that’s all I want for you.”

You caught his chin, forcing him to look at you, his green eyes wet with unshed tears. 

“They will accept you and my family and understand that I am not picking a set of parents…or else they will make that decision for me.” He blinked rapidly as I smiled. “You’ve been my dad far longer then he was. We’ve been through some serious shit. There’s no walking away. You’re stuck with me for the rest of fucking eternity, understand? JJ and I are gonna make fun of you for like eons of the afterlife so-”

He hugged you tight, squeezing too hard but you didn’t really mind. “You okay, dad?”

“Just glad I’m still dad,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. “You know that you could pick them and I’d never stop loving you, right? You don’t-”

“Dad,” you said, leaning back, catching his smile. “I know. Don’t worry. If they are the kind of people to force me to choose, I’m choosing you. Because I know you’d sell your soul for me. You’d let me go if that’s what I wanted. So please don’t worry. Please?”

“Okay, tall munchkin,” he said as the back door opened again, your mom stepping outside with wide eyes.

“Please tell me I didn’t miss them,” she said. You shook your head, pushing your dad over to her.

“Not here yet. Please calm down your husband. He’s being a worrywart for nothing,” you said, giving her a quick hug. “You know you’re always my mom, right?”

“Yeah…” she said, looking at your dad with a frown. “Oh don’t tell me he thought-”

“Yup. So please calm down my anxious father that I love very much,” you said, all three of you turning your heads when you heard the ding for the gate in the house. Your dad slipped past you inside, hitting the button to let them in and down the driveway. You followed after with your mom as she ducked off to the kitchen, quickly throwing some snacks on a platter.

“Do you want to talk to them alone?” asked your dad when you found yourself staring at the front door. Your race pulsed, breath quickening as memories flooded your mind. Memories of them hurt in the car. Of them dead. “Y/N.”

“No. I…I need you guys to ask questions for when I freak out that they’re…” you closed your eyes, your dad’s hand on your back. You crouched over, hands on your thighs as you breathed in deeply. “I feel like I’m going to puke.”

“We’re right here. You don’t have to do this by yourself,” he said, sounding like his normal self again. 

“How can they be alive?” you whispered as he knelt down beside you, rubbing your back. “It’s not possible.”

“Obviously there are things that happened that none of us know. I know this is…” You forced yourself to look at him, swallowing when the doorbell rang. He tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling softly. “Just listen to them. You don’t have to decide anything or do anything right now. Just listen and we’ll all try to make sense of this.”

You nodded and let him help you to your feet, hanging back while he opened the door. They were in jeans, your dad a polo and light rain jacket, your mom in some kind of flowery blouse. 

“Jensen,” said your birth dad, shaking his hand when he extended it. 

“Don. Brandie,” said your dad, letting the two of them inside. 

“I’m Danneel,” said your mom, scurrying over and giving them each a slightly awkward hug. It was quiet for a few seconds, the tension in the room overwhelming.

“Well this is awkward as fuck,” you said.

“Y/N,” said your birth mom with a stern face.

“I’m thirty years old. I swear now. I do a lot of shit I didn’t use to,” you said, voice harsher than any of you were expecting. Everyone stared at you as you sighed, your dad’s hand on your lower back and rubbing gently. “We should sit down and talk.”

“Why don’t we sit out back?” said your dad, guiding you over to the back door. “Would anyone like a drink?”

“I’ll take a glass of that if you’re offering,” said your birth dad, nodding to the whiskey bottle on the porch table. “I have a feeling we’ll need it.”

An hour later and you hadn’t said much. Your parents were asking your birth parents plenty of questions all while you slumped down in your chair, sipping at your second glass of whiskey. A quiet rage was building inside, the joy of finding your birth parents alive having worn off. Now, all you felt was betrayal. Scars they caused. Scars that took a long ass time to heal. So much pain you didn’t have to go through.

“Can we cut to the bullshit?” you asked, interrupting your birth dad, their four heated gazes on you once more. You narrowed your eyes as you drank, setting the glass down loudly. “So you saw a crime and were witnesses and the car accident was an attempt on your life, right? So let’s say I forgive the whole you two going into witness protection without me because hey, you thought I’d have a better life and would be safer not in it. You were way off base there but say I understand that because I’m a parent. I get it. You want your kid safe. I can get past all of that.”

You sat up in your chair, leaning forward with fury in your eyes, your birth parents both looking startled.

“You were only in witness protection for a few years you said. A few. So why the fuck didn’t you two come back and get me?” you growled. You felt your mom’s hand on your shoulder as your body started to shake. “I can forget the leaving me behind, no matter how much like bullshit that sounds like and I can believe that some of my memories of that night of the accident aren’t real because I know I hit my head and got hurt. But why did you leave me in foster care? I didn’t have these guys yet. I was alone and you left me alone.”

“Because…we didn’t trust the police,” sighed your birth dad, closing his eyes. “We didn’t believe that it was safe to make contact so we didn’t. You’d already mourned us. We weren’t willing…we stayed away to keep you safe. We thought you’d…the murder we saw, those were bad people. People perfectly fine with doing unspeakable things to a child.”

“We let you go so you’d be safe and if that meant never seeing you again, we were willing to pay the price. Only recently…” said your birth mom, squeezing your birth dad’s hand.

“The last of this group that we saw died a few days ago in prison. We live in Michigan and don’t have much so it took a few days to get down here but we came here to find you. We’ve seen online that…that you wound up with a uh, unusual family, but we knew you were still here in Austin and we came to try and find you. We weren’t expecting to bump into you in the store,” he said.

You sat back in your chair, closing your eyes as your mom kept rubbing your shoulder. “Y/N, we know-”

“You two don’t know jackshit about what happened to me,” you said, shaking your head, running your hands over your face, staring them down with wide, angry eyes. “You have no idea what my life has been like. You thought I was safe in foster care?” You scoffed.

“Y/N,” chided your dad but you shrugged him off when he rested a hand on your knee. “Y/N. Look at me.”

You ripped your eyes away from your birth parents, meeting his hard green eyes. “If I were in their shoes, I would have made a different choice and had you in witness protection with us but and I want you to listen to me, kiddo, really fucking listen.” You nodded as he inhaled. “If I thought the safest thing for you was to stay away from you, then I would stay, no matter how much you hated me for it. I can live with a pissed off daughter. I can’t with a dead one. You are a parent. You have a right to be angry but consider that line of thinking before you say something you end up regretting.”

“I…” you trailed off. You glanced down to your lap and sighed. Why did he have to have a point like always? You ran your hands over your face, your dad’s hand on you back. You forced your head up to meet your birth parents faces. “He’s right. You should have taken me with you. I wasn’t safe here. I would have been safer with you because my life was in danger in those places.”

You inhaled deeply. “But I understand you thought it was best. I don’t agree with it or understand how it happened but I get it. And…” you looked over your shoulders at both Jensen and Danneel. “And your choice put me through hell. But I also found a family I love and that loves me. These people are as much my parents as the two of you and you will accept the Ackles or…”

Your birth parents shared a quick look before your birth mom smiled and reached her hand across the table. You took it, surprised at how sweaty it was and the slight tremble to it.

“Your family is our family. Jensen and Danneel took care of you when we couldn’t. We will always owe them for that.”

“And it’s strange for us but we understand, we’re not your only parents anymore,” said your birth dad. You nodded, letting a tiny smile onto your face. “Can we come back?”

“Guys,” you chuckled. “I might get pissed and mad as hell sometimes but you can be part of my life. Of course you can. As long as you understand you gotta share me.”

“We are more than okay with sharing you,” said your birth mom. She stood a bit awkwardly and you took the lead, giving her a hug, your birth dad joining you both.

“Y/N! What’s with the-holy shit.” You glanced over your shoulder at TJ, eyes practically bugging out of his head. He started to form a sentence but stopped, eyes darting around the room. “Are those…”

“Yeah. It’s a long story. One I want to know more of,” you said, swallowing thicky. “If we’re allowed.”

Your birth dad smiled. “You can know anything you want to.”

One Month Later

“And we went out to dinner last night. I can’t believe they’ve never had seafood before!” you said. Your dad grumpily sipped from his can of beer, staring bitterly at the roaring fire in the pit before you. He’d been weird since you came over for dinner. At first you thought it was because TJ was driving the kids up to his mom’s for the weekend and was staying overnight. All three boys were supposed to go fishing in the morning but he wouldn’t be back in time when they were going at first light.

But your mom was being overly peppy too, her usual wit and dry humor lacking. Even when you’d brought up going shopping for a mardi gras outfit and saying she could go crazy on you this year, all she did was hum and re-wash the same plate she already had five times.

“You want another beer?” you asked, throwing a thumb over your shoulder, pointing back at the house.

“Bring down a bottle of bourbon. Strong,” he said, your mom waggling two fingers for glasses. You hummed and went up to the house, barely inside before you were grabbing your little brother in the kitchen and cornering him against the pantry.

“What’d I do?” he said, your sisters pausing as they came downstairs wearing hoodies. “Guys, Y/N’s got that murder look.”

“I do not have a murder look,” you growled.

“You’ve had a murder look since as long as we can remember. It normally means you’re upset,” said JJ, approaching your side. “If this is about the scratch on your car, I did it.”

“No, Zepp did it and I don’t care about that,” you said, closing your eyes. “You don’t have to protect them from me. That’s my job.”

“Yeah well, I’m almost eighteen so tough shit. I’m their big sister too,” she said with a small smile. 

“Then what’s wrong?” asked Zepp, Arrow’s eyes widening in the background. “What?”

“Dad made me promise not to say. Like he told me to take it to my grave,” said Arrow. You crossed your arms, watching her struggle with what to do. 

“Mom and dad have been weird around me all night. If you know why, I want to know.” She groaned, throwing her head back. “Arrow, what’s the secret?”

“Y/N,” scoffed JJ. “Come on. It’s obvious. Mom and dad might say they’re cool with your parents being back in the picture but they clearly aren’t. All you’ve done the past month is talk about how great they are and take them out to fancy restaurants and concerts and stuff. They know you’re paying for all of it.”

“Mom and dad buy stuff for me and TJ and the kids all the time even though we tell them not to. They know we have plenty. Besides, I haven’t seen my parents for over a decade and we want to hang out and do fun stuff like we all do with mom and dad.”

“That’s not the problem. Mom and dad are your parents, not the other way around,” said JJ, Zepp and Arrow taking the opportunity to head back outside. You pursed your lips when the back door closed, JJ stepping closer. “You want the honest truth? We don’t like them, especially mom and dad.”

“Excuse me?” You shook your head, JJ humming. “Mom and dad said they were totally okay and understood they had to share me. They’ve always had to share me.”

“Mom and dad are okay with it. But those people? They left you alone. You were abused because they left you on your own. Do you think mom and dad would have done that to you?” You saw red, furrowing your brow.

“They were protecting me. Mom and dad would have-”

“They’d have taken you with them and you know it. You’re way too close to this to see those people for who they are.” You shook your head, going to the liquor cabinet to get out a bottle, pouring yourself a double and knocking it back. “Y/N-”

“Think what you want, JJ. It’s so easy to know all the answers after the fact. All I know is that I am so damn happy they’re back.” You got in her face, bottle in hand, staring her down. “For the record, loving them doesn’t mean I love mom and dad or any of you less. They’re not some random stranger pretending to be my half-brother. They aren’t some weirdo coming out of the woodwork. These people raised me for ten years. They were good to me. You don’t have to like them but you will respect them, understand?”

She tilted her chin up, narrowing her eyes. “Follow your own damn advice and stop shoving in mom and dad’s faces about how amazing your birth parents are. They’re the people that have always loved you, even when you were a hot mess and had no idea how much your words hurt them. It’s really easy to love someone when they’ve got money and their shit together. Mom and dad got the fucked up version of you and they loved you for all of it. Your birth parents walked away from you before you went through shit. Do you think they would have taken you back when you were the mess you were the day you walked in this house for the first time? Because I know they wouldn’t have. They-”

“Shut up. You don’t know anything, little brat,” you snapped. Her eyes watered but she kept her expression stern, swallowing thickly.

“I don’t want you to get hurt again. And we’re all scared you’re going to and it’ll tear you apart.”

“Well you can stop worrying about me.” You shoved the bottle in her hands, bypassing her and heading for the front door. “Tell mom and dad I’m not feeling well.”

Ten minutes later you were at home, laying on the couch, hands on your face. You’d overreacted and knew it. They were worried about you. It wasn’t a crime on their part to do so. You sighed and reluctantly sat up, muttering when you caught your dad through the window, heading for your front door.

You met him as he went to reach for the door, his face unusually hard.

“Listen,” you said, not liking how he crossed his arms. You stepped onto the porch, pulling the door shut behind you. “I was on my way over to apologize so you can save it.”

He smiled, shaking his head, looking over the top of yours. You frowned when he scrunched up his face.

“You’re thirty years old. She’s seventeen. You know better than to fly off the handle like that.”

“That is not fair-”

“So you didn’t call her a brat?” You looked at your bare feet, closing your eyes. “Why the hell would you say that to her?”

“She was insulting my parents. Apparently, none of you care for them. Instead of telling me, you’re weirdly passive aggressive. Who knows better than to do that, hm?” you shot back. His chin raised up as he nodded once.

“We have never made one comment to you about your parents. Mom and I had a fight before you came over. That’s why we were both in bad moods. Do we like your parents? No, not particularly. But we respect them and so do you siblings. They were not insulted. Your sister shared how she felt and you took it as an attack.”

“You’re the one coming here to attack me right back,” you snapped. He stepped closer, gazing down. 

“I came here to ask you to apologize to your sister. Me not liking your parents is not an attack. Not everyone has to like everyone. We don’t like Rick yet I don’t see you having a problem with that.”

“Rick was awful to TJ. This is so not the same.”

“Y/N,” he said, voice firm. “Let it go. Apologize to your sister and then spend some time with your siblings. They were looking forward to hanging out with you tonight.”

“Somehow I seriously doubt that’s true,” you scoffed. He shook his head, walking away down the path, suddenly stopping.

“You’ll find this out someday but when your kids get older, they realize their parents aren’t superheroes afterall. They’re just human. They lose that magic. But a big sibling? Shit, I still call my big brother when I don’t know what to do. You’re the one that when mom and me are gone, they’ll look to you. They’re all teenagers, kid. They know mom and me, we’re just human. But you will always be their superhero, even if they don’t say it.”

You sighed, curling your toes against the cold concrete. 

“I wish everyone got along,” you said, your dad walking back up onto the porch. He put a thumb under you chin, urging you to look up. You wrinkled your nose when you found his green eyes, gentler now. “I feel like everyone’s mad at me for being happy.”

“No. No we’ll never be upset at you for having joy in your life. We are so incredibly happy to see you like this. But you know us. We’re overprotective and…I don’t agree with the choices they made when you were a kid. It angers me because I can’t comprehend leaving my child behind when there’s danger. So no, mom and I will probably never get over that. But we can try harder to get to know your parents. Mom and I will invite them over, let the four of us try and get to know each other.” You felt large, warm hands on your shoulders, rubbing up and down. “We’ll try. You always tried for me so I owe it to you to actually try with them.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly, letting him pull you into a soft hug.

“Please don’t expect your siblings to though. They will kind and respectful but-”

“I understand,” you said, breathing deeply. “All they see is people that left me.”

He inhaled like he was about to speak but quickly dropped it, stepping back. “Come back over when you’re ready. I’ll save you glass of bourbon.”

An hour later, and many hugs, things were okay between you and your little sister again. You understood her concern and she understood she hadn’t phrased things the way she’d wanted to. Currently, she was was sharing a lawn chair with you, sneakily taking a sip of your bourbon while you munched on a smore.

“I saw that,” said your mom, giving you both a side eye. “No hard alcohol until you’re twenty one.”

“They’re all talk,” you whispered in her ear, getting a laugh from her. “Dad’s going to give you your first beer when you graduate and after that? Pft, they’d be hypocrites.”

“I heard that,” he said, an arm coming down from above you, taking the glass away.

“That’s mine!” you said, watching him knock it back. “She had one tiny sip.”

“It was kind of disgusting,” she said, your dad feigning shock.

“Oh no. You’re going to be a wine girl, aren’t you. I may have to disown you for this,” he said to JJ, avoiding her trying to smack his arm. “You’re slower than Y/N too.”

“We can’t all be perfect,” you laughed, earning a ruffle on the head for it. When your phone rang, JJ took the opportunity to steal the rest of your smore, sticking out her tongue at you. You were about to say something back but you caught that it was from your birth dad. You slid out of your seat, walking away before answering. “Hey dad.”

“Y/N! I’m not interrupting am I? I know TJ and the kids are out of town so your mom and I thought maybe you’d want some company tonight.” You glanced over your shoulder, spotting five pairs of eyes staring back. 

“I have plans. Sorry,” you said, your dad getting up and walking over. “Tomorrow night?”

“That sounds great. Your mother found this restaurant she’s dying to go to,” he said. 

“Yeah, sure,” you said, your dad by your side, making a grabby hand. You handed the phone over, hoping it wasn’t a mistake.

“Hey Don, it’s Jensen,” he said, pausing for a moment. “No, no, everything’s fine. Dee and I were wondering if you and Brandie would like to come over for lunch tomorrow. It’ll give us a chance to get to know each other while Y/N spends some quality time with her siblings…no, no, we got plenty here to eat…one sounds great, we’ll see you here.”

He handed the phone back, letting you say a quick goodbye. 

“Hey dad,” you said, shoving the phone in your pocket. “Thanks for inviting them over.”

“I didn’t do it for them.” He kissed your temple, throwing his arm over your shoulders. “Make me a s’more?”

“You got it.”

Jensen POV

“I thought we were going to enjoy our rare, child free, work free day by laying in bed,” Danneel whined from the kitchen. I sighed, rinsing some salad off in the sink, setting it in a bowl for lunch.

“I know but I promised Zepp we’d fish this morning.”

“You promised me we could have lots of sex. However loud we want sex.” I turned off the water, wiping my hands dry.

“Why don’t we ask Y/N to keep the kids tonight and after Don and Brandie leave, I will keep you thoroughly entertained this evening.” She walked up to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” she said, pecking a kiss on my lips. A ping went off, both of us groaning that our visitors were at the gate. “We promised we’d be nice to these child abandoners. Remind me why we said we’d be nice?”

“Because our daughter asked us to try,” I said. Even if they didn’t deserve it. 

Maybe we were too pissed. Maybe we were acting like children holding onto a grudge. 

But god, I’d rather die than leave any of the kids behind. If things were so bad we had to go on the run, you could bet my ass they’d be right by my side where they were safe.

Y/N had too many scars that would never heal all the way because of them choosing to do the easy thing and leave her behind.

And for that, I could never forgive them. But I could try to move past it, at least be friendly with them.

“Jay.” I turned my head, Dee standing close by, eyes worried. “You look like you could kill someone.”

“Just hate that everything Y/N went through could have been avoided,” I said, gripping the counter's edge. “She could have…”

“I know. We can’t change the past,” she murmured into the crook of my neck, holding onto me. “Them being back makes her happy.”

“We’ll just…try like we said we would,” I said as the doorbell rang. Dee left me to answer, taking a beat to put a smile on her face before opening it.

“Hi, guys,” she said, Don and Brandie entering with a bottle of wine and a leather portfolio. I bit back a comment. For some reason, that portfolio made me nervous.

“Thanks for having us over. We’ve been saying we mean to get together with you both,” said Brandie. 

“We know it’s been a crazy month,” I said, nodding to head out to the back porch. A few minutes later we had some snacks on the table along with several glasses of wine. 

And that freaking portfolio.

They weren’t thinking of trying to, I wouldn’t even know, adopt her back? For medical reasons? Was that even a thing? Maybe they were just looking for advice on where to live in the area?

“Jensen,” said Dee, patting my thigh. I glanced up, Dee very aware I’d been zoning out. “Don was saying he’s surprised Y/N isn’t using her architecture degree.”

“Oh well, maybe not in the traditional sense but she has been doing a lot more set design stuff lately. She’s getting a bit hands off with the brewery which is fine with us. Once we saw her doing design work, we could see how passionate she was for it. The brewery was a good stepping stone for her while she decided what she really wants to do. She and TJ do some occasional side jobs for design through word of mouth actually as well. He’s certainly more focused on staying with his firm but maybe someday they’d team up together, make their own business. Y/N’s been freelance but with all the filming work going on in Austin these days she’s actually just joined up with the union,” I said, clearing my throat when I realized how long I’d been going on.

“To be fair we were a tad nervous when she started to get involved with our industry,” said Dee. “It can be rough. But we’re really proud of how she’s handled herself. She doesn’t let herself get pushed around or backed into corners. She’s had some opportunities to get into other areas of it all but she seems pretty happy to stay behind the scenes which is more than fine with us.”

“I remember she wanted to be a cardiologist,” said Don, pursing his lips, voice a bit dry. “Surprised she didn’t do something more…academic.”

“The architecture program was no walk in the park,” I said, feeling a slight tension in the air. “She works hard.”

“I think that’s quite clear to both of us,” said Brandie, swirling her drink in it’s glass. There was an awkward beat, no one sure what to say. 

“All of us care about Y/N,” said Dee, gratefully dissipating the nagging feeling that’d been growing. “Her life changed dramatically when you two were gone and bad things happened to her, things you guys couldn’t have anticipated. Her life isn’t what you or even she thought it’d be when she was ten but I think we can all agree she’s got a pretty damn good one now.”

“And you guys being back,” I said, glancing at Dee, feeling her hand squeeze my knee under the table, “We have a shot to make her life even better which I think is what we all want in the end.”

Don and Brandie shared a long look, something that made my stomach churn. 

“We all want what’s best for Y/N, right?” I asked. Dee was gripping my knee hard, Don and Brandie having some sort of silent conversation before us. 

“It shouldn’t be a hard question to answer,” snapped Danneel. I grabbed her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Let’s just all take a breath,” I said, carefully watching Don put a hand on the portfolio. “To be perfectly honest, Dee and I, we don’t agree with the decision you made to not take Y/N with you into witness protection. We can’t fathom leaving behind our kids when there’s danger, especially knowing how it all turned out for Y/N. But Y/N asked us to try and give you a chance so that’s what we’re going to do.”

I turned to Dee, some of the anger leaving her as she nodded. “It’s just hard. I know you guys didn’t know what would happen back then and surely you had your reasons. Jay and I…we know we…”

“We would walk away from them to make sure they were safe if it came down to it,” I said, a flicker of surprise on both their faces. “But we wouldn’t have done what you did. From the little we do know, it sounds like you were all in danger. To us, you left Y/N vulnerable to the danger you ran from. That’s the part we could never do and that angers us. But I’m sure there’s more to the story, a story we’re not owed. But it sure as hell might help us to understand and get past it. For Y/N’s sake.”

Brandie leaned forward in her seat, resting her hands on the table. She glanced at Don who gave her a small nod.

“We know you don’t like us and that’s okay with us, really,” she said, strangely calm. “We get the feeling you don’t necessarily enjoy sharing Y/N which again, we understand. When you signed up for this, you thought we were dead. We know that.”

“We have a proposal,” said Don, sliding over the portfolio.

“What sort of proposal?” asked Dee as I flipped it open, scanning through the words on the page quickly. It didn’t make sense and I moved it closer so Dee could read. From the shake of her head, she didn’t understand it either. “What is this?”

“It’s a contract,” said Don, nodding at the stack of papers. “You two can remain Y/N’s parents with no interference from us. We’ll walk out that door and never speak to her or see her again. All you have to do is provide financial compensation.”

I closed my eyes, trying to wrap my head around what he was saying. “Are…what?”

“We’ll stay away from Y/N in exchange for a payment,” said Brandie. I opened my eyes as Dee held up a hand, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry. I think there was a miscommunication somewhere. Jensen and I are not asking you to stop seeing Y/N. That would devastate her. We would never have her choose,” said Dee.

“Do, do you guys need money?” I asked. “I know you said you didn’t have a lot and you came down to Austin very quickly. We can help if you need it so you don’t have to go back up North. We…trust us, whatever our thoughts are on your past decision, we know how important you are to Y/N and we want you guys in her life. We can help you find a place down here or-”

“Jesus christ,” said Brandie, Don sighing, sinking back into his seat. “Are you two fucking idiots? I’m seriously asking. No wonder Y/N wound up choosing to be a set whatever over a doctor.”

Dee looked like a deer in the headlights and as much as I wanted to get angry for them insulting us, I had no fucking idea what was going on.

“Did we miss something?” I asked, Don tapping the sheets of paper in front of me.

“God, it’s good you’re pretty. Nothing in that head of yours, is there?” he asked, pressing his finger firmly against a bolded number. “Give us this much money and we’ll fucking leave forever, dipshit.”

“Do not speak to my husband like that,” growled Dee. I snapped out of it as she stood, Brandie and Don doing the same. I was on my feet and stepping in front of her without thinking, heart racing as Don pushed the papers closer. 

“We know you have a lot and this is nowhere near that much,” he said, snapping his fingers at me when I furrowed my brow. “Do it or we take this to Y/N and tell her you tried to get rid of us.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” argued Dee, slipping out beside me, their voices growing louder as something clicked in the back of my mind.

“Hey, kiddo,” I said, knocking on the open door to Y/N’s room. She flinched in bed, sitting upright quickly, eyeing me cautiously. She hadn’t done that much recently. Only when I spooked her accidentally. I took the chance to sit on the edge of her bed, glad to see she didn’t shy away. “Dee said you had a rough day at school.”

“It’s Thursday,” she said, her face in a frown. “You’re supposed to be at work. Tell me you didn’t fly down-”

“I only had one scene first thing this morning. I got a long weekend so I came home early.” I tucked her hair behind her ear when she turned away, her head kept low. “I know Thursday is normally therapy with Dee but I’m going with you today.”

“I don’t want to go,” she sighed, shifting herself away. “Please don’t make me go today.”

“I’ll make you a deal. You don’t have to go if you tell me what happened at school and why it did.”

“I hate you,” she mumbled, putting her back to me completely. I stood up, quietly heading for the door. 

“We’ll head out in ten minutes,” I said, shutting the door behind me. I closed my eyes, sighing when I found De in the kitchen. 

“She say anything?” she asked.

“Nothing except she doesn’t want to go today and she hates me.” I pursed my lips, glad for Dee wrapping me up in a hug. “She’s still afraid of me.”

“She’s afraid of being abandoned again, not of you.”

“You don’t make her flinch,” I said quietly, resting my chin on her shoulder. “Four months and she’s still scared.”

“Four months of her having a father who loves her. Don’t you forget that because she sure hasn’t. You know how much she asks when you’ll be home when you’re gone.”

“Just wish she could say it to my face some day,” I mumbled. 

“She will. You’ll be the one she tells everything to. Just be there for her,” she whispered. We broke apart just as Y/N came down the hall. She looked small in her oversized navy hoodie and black leggings, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. She hid it well but her slightly puffy eyes meant she’d been crying after I left.

“Can we go?” Y/N mumbled, going past and over to the front door. She pulled on her sneakers and ducked outside, Dee resting her head on my shoulder. 

“She always feels better after therapy,” I said, kissing the top of her head. “Can you make that pasta she likes for dinner?”

“Sure thing. Go take care of our girl.”

I typically didn’t say much during our sessions. Normally we liked to let Y/N take the lead, it let her feel comfortable talking about important things in front of us her therapist said. It was a slow process but we were certainly starting to see it having benefits. She opened up quicker in sessions and at home she was more vocal. She had her quiet days but it was nothing liked when she first came to us and didn’t say much.

But today, today I couldn’t wait.

“What happened at school with the substitute teacher?” I asked the moment we sat down. Y/N crossed her arms and slumped down into her usual corner of the couch. “Y/N.”

“Jensen,” chided the doctor. “Let’s back up-“

“I got scared,” said Y/N, facing me full on, her big eyes on the brink of tears. “What’s the fucking point of all this if I’m going to be afraid of every adult man in my life. You can’t fix me so you might as well stop trying.”

“Excuse me?” I said, cutting off the doctor, Y/N’s face holding a scary amount of confidence. 

“I’ve lived with you for four months. Four months. I’m still afraid of men. I told you you’re wasting your time on me but you won’t listen to me,” she said, sniffling slightly. She shrugged, her whole body exasperated. “Why are we doing this? It’s pointless. I’ll never be normal.”

“Y/N-” said the doctor as I held up a finger to him, his mouth snapping shut. Y/N frowned but kept eye contact, a tear slipping down her cheek. Somehow my heart ached for her even more than it already had. If only she knew how badly it hurt, I think she’d finally understand how much I loved her.

God, I had to let her know how much I did.

I scooted over on the couch, quickly wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. She inhaled sharply, tucking her forehead into the crook of my neck, burring her face against my shirt as she cried silently for a few moments.

“I’m sorry I don’t have the right words to say to make your fears go away,” I whispered, her body starting to relax beside mine. “But know that you were never broken. It’s been awhile since someone’s loved you so I know it’s funny to get used again. But I will always, always, love you.”

“You feel sorry for me,” she whispered, keeping her head down under my chin. “That’s all it is.”

“I feel sorry for a lot of people. You have never been one of them.” That got her attention, her head slowly raising so she could look me in the eye. I wiped off her cheek, smiling softly when she wrinkled her nose. “You’re a badass with more guts than anyone I’ve ever met. Why on earth would I feel sorry for someone so fucking amazing?”

“I got scared at school with the substitute teacher, so scared I cried when he yelled at me. How the fuck can you say this is even remotely working?” she asked. I smiled, glancing down between us and back up.

“You used to be afraid of me. How’s that working out?” I asked. She sighed, glancing away.

“You don’t count. You’re different.”

“How?” I asked. She groaned, swearing under her breath. “Come on. I won’t tell anyone.”

“You’re…you, okay? You’re just…” she pursed her lips, closing her eyes. “I know you love me. You tell me everyday and call everyday even when you’re in Canada and…if you were going to hurt me, you’d have done it by now. So it’s not you I’m worried about, okay? It’s everyone else.”

“Okay,” I said, rubbing up and down her back, her head falling back to my shoulder. “So why’d the teacher yell at you?”

Y/N sighed. “I was asking Kelly what page he said to turn to and he yelled at me that I should listen better. He wasn’t even that loud. I don’t know why but it scared me.”

“Isn’t that a phrase your father used when you were a child?” asked the doctor, flipping back through his notebook before nodding. “Yes, in one of our first sessions where we discussed your birth parents discipline methods in comparison to different foster parents we said that was one of your dad’s methods.”

“The whole we’re not mad, just disappointed thing,” said Y/N, nodding with a sigh. “Never thought I’d end up missing that.”

“I’m sorry that must have been one of the sessions Dee was at,” I said, shaking my head. “I remember she gave me the run down but I don’t think we talked about what Y/N’s parents used to do.”

“Like I said, they’d do the disappointed thing,” said Y/N, sitting upright, peeling away slightly but remaining close. “I have my period right now. I know I’m more…sensitive to stuff when I’m on it too.”

Nearly an hour later, Y/N was feeling better but I was most certainly not. I made an excuse about needing to talk to the doctor about insurance, telling her to head out to the truck without me.

“Doc,” I said when we were alone, a concerned hum coming from him as he went back to his desk. 

“You’re quite perceptive, Jensen,” he said, setting our session notebook on his leather desk mat. “Why didn’t you push it when she said her parents used disappointment as a discipline style?”

“Why didn’t you?” I asked, crossing my arms, lifting my chin. “You make us talk about all sorts of shit. She’s talked about getting the shit beat out of her but you don’t push this. Why?”

“We both know Y/N puts on rose colored glasses when it comes to the past and her birth parents. Now we will never for sure but my gut says her birth parents weren’t as perfect as she makes them seem.”

“No parent is perfect,” I said, watching him take a seat in his chair. 

“True. But there are difference between good and bad. Again, this is conjecture, but based on comments throughout different sessions, I do not believe her birth parents were all that great. Yes, Y/N is afraid of adult men but that has toned down significantly in only a few short months. I think the phrase triggered her in school today, not the teacher.” 

I sat in the chair across from him, rubbing my hands together. “It could have been one time he yelled at her as a kid though. We just don’t know. Y/N’s never said anything about her birth parents doing anything to her.”

“It’s just a gut feeling, Jensen. I’m not saying they were abusive, not at all. Just that, behaviors are learned from a young age. Just keep it in mind in the future in case she ever says anything more about their punishment style,” he said. I nodded, glancing down to my lap. “She has made remarkable progress in a few short months. Try to remember that.”

“I just…it breaks my fucking heart to hear her talk about herself sometimes. I wish I could make her see what I do.” The doctor tapped on the keyboard for a moment as I took my cue to leave.

“Jensen,” he said when I was standing. He gave me a gentle smile, one he normally reserved only for Y/N. “You’re her safe place whether you agree or not. What you’re doing with her, it is working. Someday she’ll come to realize that.”

“Thanks,” I said. He hummed, tapping on his keyboard again.

“I’ll send you and Danneel all of our session notes going forward so we can avoid missing things in the future,” he said. I went to leave when he called me one last time. “Jensen?”

“Yeah?” I asked, fishing for my keys in my pocket, realizing Y/N already had them.

“Try not to worry so much. She’s in good hands with you guys.” 

“We’ll do our best.”

I stared at Don, noticing Dee was in a full on shouting match with him and Brandie. 

“What is wrong with the two of you!” shouted Dee. “You can’t just abandon your child because you have to share her with us!”

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty cause-”

“Oh.” All three of them stopped, giving their attention to me. I slowly stood, feeling the bile rise in my throat. It was too much of a coincidence. 

The way Y/N had overreacted to her teacher back in school only confirmed what my gut had been trying to tell me all along.

“You two never wanted Y/N in the first place, did you?” I asked. Brandie sighed while Don rolled his eyes. “You left her behind on purpose. You never wanted to be parents. That’s why you would snap at her as a kid. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Danneel sat down, her face pale as it dawned on her.

“Tell us the truth,” I said. “Tell us the truth and I will give you what you want.”

“Jensen-“ 

“Be honest and I’ll give you what you so clearly want.”

Brandie frowned, crossing her arms after a moment. “Fine. We never wanted kids. Our parents were the ones that wanted them. Y/N was a mistake but our parents insisted on us having her. They even changed their will and made it a requirement to get the full amount. So we kept the mistake. Then they went and died not long after she was born and we got stuck with her. End of story.”

“She is not a mistake,” growled Dee, bite in every single word. “If you didn’t want her, you should have given her up for adoption when she was a baby.”

“It took years to get through the fucking litigation for who got what from her parents estate,” shot back Don. “By the time we had our money, she was too old. So when the chance to leave came, we took it.”

Dee was staring in horror at the two of them while I breathed slowly. “That’s why you left Y/N behind. That’s why you waited years to make contact. You don’t want her. You never did. You want her money.”

“But witness protection…” said Dee, shaking her head. “How would they let you go without Y/N?”

“It don’t work like the movies,” said Brandie, still frowning at us. “She had a head injury. We couldn’t stay and she couldn’t leave the hospital. It wasn’t difficult to convince them to have us relinquish custody when there were odds she had head trauma. Now give us our money and you can have her all to yourselves again.”

I pushed the portfolio across the table, narrowing my eyes. “I’d rather die than give you disgusting people a cent. You kept her for money. Money. Did you ever even love her?”

“How many times do we have to say it? We don’t give a rats ass. The brat should be grateful we even left her the little we did in a trust for her. Money now or we tell her you tried to pay us to leave. We all know who she’ll believe.”

“Get out of my house,” I growled. “And stay away from my daughter.”

“Good luck with what happens,” scoffed Don. In under a minute, they were gone and I shakily sat down, hearing the sound of a car taking off.

“Jensen,” Dee breathed out after a long few moments. 

“I know.”

“If she finds out how her parents feel about her-”

“I know.”

“She thought they were the only ones that ever loved her. It’s how she survived on her own as long as she did. She’ll be devastated.” I nodded, closing my eyes. “It’s worse than her worst fears. God, Jay. We were the first people in her life to love her unconditionally. She’s going to come apart at the seams.”

“I know,” I whispered, gut churning. I put my head in my hands, fingers gripping my hair too tight. “We have to show her the tape from the porch camera.”

“Why?” she asked, her arms wrapping around my waist. I laughed dryly, shaking my head.

“Honey, the second we tell her about her birth parents, she’s going to doubt us. She’s going to doubt that we won’t turn around and abandon her too. It will kill her but she has to watch the tape.” 

She sighed but agreed. Unfortunately, we barely had the thing pulled up before Y/N was storming into the house, face scrunched up.

“What the fuck is going on? Did you guys seriously try to bribe…” she trailed off when Dee turned her head away, wiping at her face. “What happened?”

I didn’t know where to start. How do you tell your child the people they’re supposed to always be able to depend on never wanted you in the first place? All I could do was glance at the computer, Y/N moving and hitting play before I could come up with any words.

Dee and I were dead silent as she watched the five minute conversation, Y/N’s face unreadable. When it finally ended, she shut the computer slowly, staring at the countertop.

“Y/N,” I whispered. “Mom and I love you. We love you so much. Please believe that.”

When her eyes met mine, I swear my soul tore in half. The light was gone from her eyes, replaced with that cautious trepidation from the day we met her. 

“Y/N, honey, we-” said Danneel, stopping when Y/N put her hand up. 

“I need to be alone right now.” 

She was out the door fast, leaving us standing there, no clue what to do next.

“She doesn’t trust us anymore,” whispered Dee beside me. I wanted so badly to tell her she was wrong, that this was a gut reaction on Y/N’s part and it’d blow over.

But that was a hope and a prayer at this point. 

“She needs space so let’s give her space,” I said, pulling her into a hug, holding on too tight. “It’s not us that broke her heart. It’s them and she knows it.”

“You’re an awful liar,” she mumbled. “She thinks we’re going to hurt her too so she’s going to pull away and you know it.”

I wished it weren’t true but I knew Y/N too well. Whatever she felt for us was now shrouded in doubt.

And there was nothing we could do to tell her how wrong she was.

Reader’s POV

One Month Later

“Momma,” said Allie, skipping as we walked around the block and down to my parents house. Honestly you  didn’t even know what they were to you anymore. You loved them but it was complicated.

Your birth parents were dead as far as you were concerned. You told them off and hadn’t seen or heard from them in two months. It was fine with you. You’d lived most of your life without them already and you weren’t putting up with any shit ever again.

But your adoptive parents, Jensen and Danneel…you’d barely spoken a word to them in a month. Allie and Colin still spent plenty of time with their grandparents but there was no more hanging out at their house. No more at yours. Your siblings were confused and angry with you. TJ was suffering silently at the loss of his two parental figures. Any and all communication went through him.

You knew he texted them sometimes but he kept things vague. He loved them but loved you more and tried to respect your boundaries when it came to discussing you.

You weren’t even sure why you’d assumed Jensen and Dee would be like your birth parents. Logically you knew you shouldn’t have done that. You knew they loved you. 

But it was tainted. Instead of feeling warmth from that knowledge, all you did was sick. Someday, somehow, they’d end up fucking you over and you wouldn’t be able to put yourself back together after that. It’d been hard enough with your birth parents after all. Only recently had you started to feel somewhat okay again.

“Momma! It’s Jay!” she squealed. You refocused on the road, startled when he was at the mailbox. His heard turned at the sound, looking as shocked as you did, quickly hiding it when Allie let go of your hand and ran up to him, hugging his legs. “Hi Jay!”

“Hi pumpkin,” he said, returning the hug. He picked her up and twirled her around for a moment before setting her down. “Remember to hold mommy’s hand when you’re walking in the road, okay?”

“I know,” she sighed dramatically. “But there were no cars! I looked!”

“Well stay with mommy until you’re older,” he said, booping her nose. 

“Can we play?” she asked. He glanced at you. You gave a short nod, Allie quickly taking off down the driveway and heading for the bucket of chalk in the garage.

“I’ll pick her up in half an hour,” you said. You started to leave when his fingers wrapped around your wrist. His face was pained as he released you. 

“Can we talk later? If you have time, I mean.” You looked down at your feet, sighing slowly. 

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I’ll be back in a bit to get her.” 

Two nights later you were laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling. TJ was quiet beside you, the kids put to bed nearly an hour ago. 

“You okay?” he asked. You shook your head, grateful when he pulled you into his side, face scrunched up. “You can go talk to them and end this anytime.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” you spewed back at him. He tensed for a moment, guilt riddling your veins. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious. You’re scared everyone was pretending to love you, not just those assholes.” 

“Not everyone,” you mumbled. “Just them.”

“Why do you doubt them? You heard them on the tape. They love you,” he said. 

“But what if they change their minds?” you asked. His fingers gently grasped your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Every parent I’ve ever had was a monster that didn’t care. Why are they any different? I just haven’t met their monsters yet.”

“You can keep choosing to believe that. I’ll be right here if you do. But you’re in pain. You have to move on from them or let them back in. Those are your only choices.”

“I know.” You sighed and sat upright, wiping off your face. “I’ll be back in awhile.”

“Stay as long as you have to,” he said, kissing your cheek. 

Three minutes later you were in your parents driveway, ready to go inside and have a very awkward conversation. You weren’t expecting to hear music the second you got out of the car though. You wandered around to the back of the house, spotting your dad by the small porch by the path down to the dock. He was plucking at his guitar, singing softly, only a few string lights offering any kind of light in the dark space.

You froze when you recognized the song, feet planted firmly in the dewy grass.

“I’ve done everything I know, to try and change your mind. And I think I’m gonna miss you for a long, long time. Cause I’ve done everything I know, to try and make you mine. I think I’m gonna love you for a long, long time,” he sang quietly, words just barely reaching you. After a few more strums, he set the guitar down, his head going into his hands.

Quietly you walked over, standing at the railing, not looking when you felt his gaze on your back.

“I’ve been so afraid of you and mom hurting me too when I’m the one that walked away. I’m the one that fucking hurt you.”

“Y/N, that’s not-”

“Look at yourself,” you said, turning around, waving a hand in his direction. “I’m a grown woman. You can admit that I hurt you.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring out at the dark water. “One time when you’d been here about, three months or so, we made plans to go to that food truck day downtown. Just the two of us. It was a Sunday in February. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah?” you said, standing by his side, risking a glance up to find his focus on the water. “I remember mom got mad at us cause we ate way too much and we had reservations to go out for some charity thing that night.”

“Ah,” he chuckled. “See, you remember the weekend we went. We were supposed to go the weekend before but I had a con I’d forgotten about. I remember calling you to tell you that Friday afternoon I wouldn’t be home that weekend. You told me don’t make promises that I had no intention of keeping. You were pretty sure I lied to you. We got into a pretty big fight about it. That day? That day you hurt me. You tore into me, called me names, all because I was human and made a mistake. Even when I said we’d go the next weekend. That hurt. What’s happening right now? Honey, I miss you like hell but you haven’t hurt me. You’re not doing this to me. Fuck, you asked for boundaries while you work through something that literally no one deals with. No one. I’m proud of you for knowing to ask for what you need right now. Do not think that I’m hurt.”

You closed your eyes, lowering your head as you rested your arms against the railing.

“I’ve been hiding from you and mom because I’m scared. Don’t be proud of me for being a coward.” You felt his shoulder brush against your arm, his tall body solidly beside you. 

“Tall munchkin, you are many things. A coward isn’t one of them.” A light gust of wind tickled your face, followed by a gentle finger pushing your hair behind your ear. “I know you threw them out of your life for good. I know what you said to them. Don’t blame TJ for telling us. He and I made a little pact a long time ago that we have your back-”

“Would you just stop?” You forced your eyes open to find his mouth snapped shut, a curious yet pained look on his face. “I’m an asshole. I cut you and mom out of my life, out of TJ’s life, for no reason at all. Because I’m scared when all I saw on that tape was you and mom defending me, being disgusted with my birth parents. You did nothing wrong and still I’ve treated you like you’re going to turn into monsters too. So stop being the strong dad for one fucking minute and just be honest. I’m an asshole and you know it.”

His eyes casted down to his feet, a long, quiet sigh slipping past his lips.

“Honestly, I’ve always hated that I had to share you with another set of parents. I hated it because no matter how good a job I did, mom did, how the fuck were we supposed to compete with people that were dead. The good ones. The ones where you got to have a normal childhood filled with love and none of this other shit. But then when you were a teen? Well mom and I realized it wasn’t as peachy fucking keen as we thought. Your birth parents were assholes sometimes but fine. It’s hard being a parent and maybe they weren’t perfect but maybe they did their best. We couldn’t know for sure and you were such a good kid that they must have done a pretty decent job with you. But still, we hated it. Hated being second best. We would always have the asterisk next to our names. No matter how much you told us you loved us, there was always a chance you’d stop trusting us. And that fucking happened because of those assholes. I wish they’d stayed dead. I wish they’d never come back at all because you’re ours. You’re my daughter. Mine.”

His face was hard, jaw clenched. “I hate that I’m the first person in your life to love you unconditionally. I hate it so damn much. You shouldn’t have been alone for so long. If I could have taken you at that airport when you were a little girl and kept you, I would have. If I could go back and do it differently, I’d sell my soul to. You’d never have doubted for a second you were loved. I’d give up anything for you and I don’t know how I get you back. It’ll never go back to how it was and I can’t stand it. I want my daughter back and I have no idea how to get you to trust I’m not the monster but that guy that protects you from them. I know I fucked up with your birth parents but give me another chance. Please give your family one more chance.”

You stared at him, watching him swallow thickly. He turned his head away, looking back to the river with a sigh. 

“When I was eight, we went camping,” you said quietly, watching a light ripple in the water below. “We went on a hike but it wasn’t a trail or anything. My parents said they had to use the bathroom and took off. But they didn’t. They left me in a forest. Alone. I was lost for a few hours but somehow made it back to our camp. I really liked stories so I’d snuck some bread and made a little trail like in the fairytale. Ended up following it back. When I got back, my dad was so angry that he spanked me until I was black and blue. I thought they were angry I got lost and wandered off. That’s what they told me. But…it was black bear season back then. They tried to get rid of me and they were so angry I had the audacity to come back unharmed.”

“Why’d you never tell us?” he whispered.

“I didn’t understand what that day was until two months ago. That was the first thought that popped into my head as I watched that tape in the kitchen. The monsters had always been there and I didn’t realize.”

You waited a beat, inhaling the spring breeze. 

“Every father figure in my life either beat me or emotionally neglected me. Until I walked in that house, not a single man protected me. Cole did his best and I am grateful to that man for going above and beyond but he was never my father. I was his job. A case.” You swallowed, a gust of cool wind hitting you both. “I know you’re closed off sometimes. I know it’s like pulling teeth to get an honest emotional response out of you.”

He nodded, forcing himself to look you in the eye.

“There’s this show where this guy stops the monsters,” you breathed out, his face scrunching up slightly. “And they say family don’t end in blood in it. And it doesn’t start there either. And that guy, he’s not always great at expressing his feelings but he feels really deeply, more than he lets on. Because he has a good heart and a good soul.” 

He nodded slightly, inhaling sharply. “That’s the kind of guy that I’d want to be my dad if I got to pick. He’s not perfect but he’d protect me from the monsters and love me and that’d be enough. I’m not greedy.”

“He sounds like he’d be up for the job,” he whispered.

“I think so too,” you said, offering a smile. “She’s kind of a handful sometimes but she’s her father’s daughter after all.”

“He doesn’t think that at all,” he said, nodding to himself. “He thinks she’s pretty fucking amazing.”

“That guy would be a pretty fucking great dad,” you said, shrugging your shoulder. You sniffled, his gaze turning even more worried. When you just smiled back, he looked so lost. “But I picked you instead if that’s okay.”

He finally smiled, nodding his head with a laugh. “Yeah, yeah, that’s okay with me.”

“Good. You’re the only dad I’ve ever had so it’d be a shame to have to change it now.”

“I’m not the only…” he trailed off when you raised your chin, wrinkling your nose. “Okay. Dad position is mine. Understood.”

“You and mom were always my favorites,” you said, a surprised look on his face. “Kids know when they’re loved and when they aren’t. Just forgive me for being an idiot and not having this conversation sooner?”

“I do. I can’t blame you. You take after your idiot father after all,” he chuckled. You bumped his arm, his own falling over your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. He hugged you, hard, kissing your forehead as you felt him inhale deeply. “I was really your favorite dad?”

“You were my favorite since that night in the rain on my birthday,” you said quietly. You buried your face in his chest, his head resting against yours. “I used to feel really bad about it. But not so much as I got older. Now, I should have listened to my gut. My head got scared but my gut never has been. I’m sorry for pushing you guys away.”

“It’s okay. I was getting ready to go over your place and force this discussion anyways,” he said, his body relaxing. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop the monsters this time.”

“Daddy, I was always going to get hurt but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. On that tape, I saw you and mom trying to protect me. That is all I’ll ever ask for. Dean couldn’t always stop the monsters either but he sure as shit tried.”

“Alright, alright,” he murmured. “I see your point.”

You both turned when you heard a thud, your mom standing about halfway down the lawn, a bottle of wine currently sitting in the grass from her opened hand.

“Go hug your mother. She needs a conversation too,” he said, patting your towards her. But you grabbed his hand, tugging him along after you as she stood there, her face blank.

“Hi mom,” you said, her eyes glancing over to his. “Does it help if I say you were my favorite mom?”

“I was?” she breathed out, watching your dad nod with a big smile. 

“I mean, you still are. Honestly between you and him, you wonder where I get it from? Pfft. I get it though. You make the mistakes on the first kid, right?” you said, instantly wrapped up in a pair of arms. “I’m sor-”

“This is all I needed,” she whispered, holding on tight. “Did daddy convince you to trust us again?”

“No. I don’t think I stopped in the first place. Just had to stop being scared long enough to remember you guys are the ones I can go to when I am. After that I just felt sorry for him. He was singing Linda Ronstandt.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “He’s been playing it every night for weeks! Thank god you’re putting us out of our suffering.”

“I see the everybody ganging up on me thing is still happening,” he said, throwing his long arms around you both. “I missed that.”

“You missed it?” you asked as he started to shake his head. “Aw.”

“I missed nothing,” he said, snuggling you harder. You felt your mom pull back, the two them sharing a look for a beat before turning towards you. “Mom and I would like to discuss something with you.”

“It was something we were going to do to try and win you over,” she blushed, a wide smile spreading on his face. “But we’d still like to do it, with your permission of course.”

“Alright. What is it?”

You woke up the next morning in your old room which was quiet surprising as you distinctly recalled last being in the family room. When you trotted into the kitchen wearing a pair of old pajamas and your mom’s hoodie, you found your dad at the stove, humming lightly as he worked on a quiche.

“Morning,” you yawned, hopping up on the counter top and stealing his mug of coffee. You winced when you took a sip of the black coffee, a quiet chuckle slipping past his lips. “Cream.”

“Bad for your heart.”

“But it’s good for the soul which is good for the heart,” you said, taking another sip. “Besides, you put way too much in. It’s called a splash for a reason.”

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he said, glancing down at himself. “I’m trying to bulk up if you couldn’t tell.”

“I thought you were just walking around in sweats and no shirt cause you had sex last night.” His eyes widened as you took a long drag of coffee, your grin growing behind the ceramic as he started and stopped a sentence more than once. “I’m not judging. It’s good to keep active in your senior years.”

“I’m fifty four you little shit,” he said, taking his mug away and knocking it back like a shot. He shook his head a few times, going back to the eggs in the bowl. “How do you even know that?”

“Mom got a little tipsy one night while doling out marriage advice,” you teased, watching him shudder. “Apparently you guys go at it like rabbits-”

“This is not a conversation that is happening at barely nine in the morning,” he said, JJ coming downstairs with messy hair and her usual morning pout. 

“Why are you talking so loud?” she whined. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“Dad didn’t know we know about his morning after sex outfit,” you said, a pair of green narrowed eyes aimed in your direction.

“Really? It’s been obvious since I was like, eleven. You guys smash like, a lot-”

“Girls!” he said, ditching the whisk in the bowl of eggs, hands on his hips. “Enough!”

“Alright, alright,” you said, giving him a moment to relax. “Good for you for that it’s still working down-”

He grumbled and grabbed you off the counter with one arm, scooping up your sister in the other and carrying you out to the back porch. 

“What’d I do?” she asked as he set you down on the bench at the table, giving you both a stern look.

“You two haven’t spoken in nearly a month. Now talk,” he said, pausing at the back door. “For the record, your mother is right. Having regular fun with your partner is fun. And your mom thinks I look hot without my shirt on so there.”

“So does a margin of the population,” said JJ, shaking her head. “Something wrong with those people.”

“Agreed,” you said, getting a warning about getting no quiche before he left and shut the door after himself. The fan was on overhead offering a slight breeze in the warm morning air. She shifted away slightly, pursing her lips while she stared at the set plate in front of her. “I understand why you’re angry at me. I went radio silent on mom and dad and I get it. I hurt them and you didn’t understand why.”

“I knew why. We all did. The part we don’t understand is why would you assume mom and dad are going to ditch you too? We never did anything wrong to you and still you assumed we’d be like every other bad person in your life.”

“Because your sister has trauma, honey,” you heard from behind, a cup of slightly creamy looking coffee being set down in front of you. You turned, watching him rub her back as he put a cup of orange juice down for her. “It doesn’t disappear. It just gets quieter. Your sister’s got loud again and it takes time to make it shut it’s mouth.”

“She didn’t have to be such a jerk about it,” she mumbled. He glanced at you, a question in his eyes. You nodded with a smile, his hands resting on her shoulders as she sighed.

“You turn eighteen soon. Try to imagine if for your whole life, not a single person loved you. If mom’s screamed at you to wait on them hand and foot. If dad’s pushed you and hit you and made you afraid to sleep at night. If you were alone your whole life and then finally, right now, some family popped up and said, we’re not like those other guys. We pinky promise! That is a scar that doesn’t heal, kiddo. Your sister fights that feeling that we’ll turn on her like all the others have. She had a moment of weakness which she is more than entitled to. It’s our job to tell her we love her when that happens, not get angry with her. Understand?”

She nodded, glancing at you quickly. “Sorry. I forget stuff happened to you sometimes. You just act so normal.”

You knew your dad was giving you a smirk for that one without even looking. 

“Yeah. Most of the time I am, I guess.” You turned in your seat, raising an eyebrow. “Aren’t you supposed to be making us quiche?”

“Ungrateful children,” he said, ruffling both of your heads. “You two relax and catch up. It’s going to be a bit.”

Ten minutes later you were getting a refill of coffee while your siblings were attempting to toss grapes in each mouth’s on the back porch. The quiche was in the oven and TJ would be down soon with the kids to enjoy a nice breakfast with everyone.

“Y/N,” said your dad, now wearing a light t shirt, his phone in hand as he exited his bedroom. “You still okay with mom and me doing that thing?”

“Yeah,” you said, chuckling when you heard her snore from the room. “Mom said letting your spouse sleep in sometimes is equally as healthy for a marriage.”

“That’s a pretty good one,” he laughed, tapping his phone a few times before putting it away. “Alright. It’s out in the world if you want to take a look.”

“Later. I trust you,” you said, bumping his arm. He ruffled your head once more before following you outside, clasping his hands together.

“Who’s team am I on?”

You laid in bed late that night, staring at your phone as you leaned back against TJ. 

“The post your dad put up was pretty touching,” he said, rubbing your shoulders. 

“It was. They’ve never hidden me but they’ve respected my privacy. But they wanted to do it as a gesture about how much I mean to them. My parents said they’ve never made a birthday post for me or adoption or anything like my siblings. They just wanted to put it out there how much I mean to them.”

“And the donation thing?” he asked. 

“I told them they had to wait until my birthday unless they were willing to put up a link to that fund that helps prospective adoptive parents with legal fees. So naturally they got that sorted out before dawn,” you laughed.

“Still. You could have taken the praise all for yourself for once you know,” he said, kissing the top of your head. 

“You know I don’t like to be gushed over,” you said, his hands swatting the phone away and instead wrapping around your waist. 

“Really? Never noticed,” he said, sliding out from behind to hover over top of you. You smiled, getting a peck on the nose. “You’re happy again. I like that.”

“Me too,” you whispered, closing your eyes when he kissed you gently. “Me too.”

________

A/N: Read the After Shocks Timestamp here!

[imagines--galore]

||I’m Convinced||

Summary: Once the fake-date was over, you went back home, contemplating on what had occurred. And how within the span of a few hours you had begun to look at your best friend in a completely different light. But then, had his feelings changed as well? Companion piece to Convince Me.

Pairing: Superman aka Clark Kent x Reader

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. None, just some kissing and teasing.

A/N: You guys voted for it and here is the second part! Hope all of you enjoy!!!! Also I have NO idea what I just wrote. Fluff? Heat? Tease?

The first thing you did, once you got back home, was remove your heels. What had possessed you to wear the ones that were the strappiest was beyond you. The entire lower half of your legs was imprinted with the straps once they were off your feet. Slumping into the couch, you turned on the television to catch up on the latest news about the newest villain terrorizing the world.

It would seem that during your travel time from the restaurant to your apartment, the Justice League had managed to subdue the would-be conqueror. You watched as the man was being led away in handcuffs and under maximum security. The camera cut to Superman speaking to the Press.

They very sight of him was enough to make you blush to the very tips of your ears and for your heart to skip a beat.

Utterly ridiculous.

You were acting like a love-struck teen who had just had their first kiss. From their first crush. Who also happened to be the most popular guy in school.

Good Lord, so many clichés came to your mind that you groaned. “Maybe I should stop watching rom-coms.” You spoke to yourself, hands lifting to undo the pins in your hair to allow the soft tresses to tumble down around your bare shoulders.

Leaving the television on in the background, you moved to your bedroom, intent on getting out of the dress and into something more comfortable.

However, the sight of Superman hovering just outside the glass partition of your balcony had you stopping in your tracks.

Your lips parted and you glanced over your shoulder where you could see the television screen. Seems Wonder Woman had taken over talking to the Press.

Had Clark cut his interview short to come here?

A smile pulled at your lips as you slowly walked towards the double doors, but you didn’t open them. He landed on the balcony, and you took a few moments to take in the sheer power that radiated from him even with the glass between you both. His light blue eyes somehow stood out against the dark blue of his suit, making them appear all the more mesmerizing. And then there was his smile.

You knew you were mirroring that smile as you laid a hand against the glass. He copied your action, resting his own hand where yours was on the other side.

That was all that separated the two of you. All you wanted was to get rid of the final wall that stood between you, but you hesitated. Your eyes flickered from your hands to meet his gaze. You could practically feel the warmth that radiated from him in that moment as his eyes locked with your own.

The kiss from earlier replayed in your mind, and suddenly you wanted to feel his lips upon yours once more.

Your breath fogged the glass since you were standing so close to it. Your mind raced. You knew if you opened the door there would be no going back. No more walls or pretenses between the both of you. No more keeping the other at arm’s length for the sake of the friendship you shared. Having your friendship change into a relationship wouldn’t be so bad. It would be the same wouldn’t it? Or would the dynamic change completely? Would you become a target for every villain that wanted to harm Superman? Not that you weren’t one already. Being one of his best friends and all.

Neither of you knew how long you both stood there, simply looking at one another. But then, suddenly his demeanor changed. His smile turned.......sad, and a with a slight nod of acceptance, he began to turn away.

Your heart jolted. You felt as if you were falling into a dark chasm. Your entire body felt numb.

All this at the sight of him turning away from you.

With a strength that rattled the glass doors in their frames, you threw them open and wrapped your arms around Clark from behind. You buried your face in his cape, squeezing with all your might, hoping he would be able to pick on the extent of your feelings for him.

“Don’t go.” You whispered. “Don’t leave.”

A moment of silence before he laughed softly. In relief. You felt the vibrations of it against his strong back as you sighed and smiled.

He wouldn’t leave.

You felt his hand come up to place atop yours. “It’ll take more then your words to get me to stay.” He said, his voice soft. So soft, in fact, you didn’t think you had ever heard him speak like that before. It caused a warmth to settle inside you, which only grew when he turned around to face you.

Your arms dropped to your side, as you tilted your head back to look at him properly. Seeing that playful glint in his eyes and the smirk he wore, prompted you to return the smirk and push your chin out in defiance. “What’ll it be then? Dinner at your favorite place?” You asked.

He only shook his head, taking a step closer and reaching a hand out towards you. You simply took a step back. He looked confused for a moment before he realized what you were doing and that smirk returned.

Game on.

“Dinner does sound nice, but it isn’t enough to warrant my presence.” You hummed under your breath, pretending to think.

“Tickets to the next Country Fair?” He shook his head. Another step forward, with you mirroring his action, but in the opposite direction.

“Wally already invited me.”

“A puppy?”

“I already have Krypto.”

“A new watch?”

“You gave me a new one on my birthday this year.”

“A massage?”

“Won’t do me any good. Alien skin remember?”

“A month of no rom-coms?”

“Tempting, but still not enough to convince me to stay.”

With every question he would step towards you and you would step back. Your eyes never strayed from his, and the smiles the both of you wore never wavered. There was something palpable between the both of you, a tension that had never been there before. One that was urging you to end your little game of cat and mouse and simply give in.

But you wouldn’t.

The buildup was just as sweet as the result. And you knew Clark was enjoying it as much as you were. With the way his smile was equal parts playful and sexy, and how his eyes kept dropping to your lips. You weren’t any better though. Your gaze kept roaming over his entire body, watching the Kevlar of his suit stretch with every movement he made.

It was enough to make you a little weak in the knees.

Your back hit the wall, and you knew your game would be over soon.

He loomed over you, arms coming up to rest his hands against the wall on either side of your head to cage you in. In an effort to not swoon from having him stand so close to you, or to see just how dark his eyes had gotten, you turned your head away, choosing to focus on his hand instead.

“A good story?” You whispered, biting your lip when you felt his warm hot breath fan over your exposed neck and decolletage. Your skin felt so warm that the necklace you wore was cool against your neck.

“I’m already backed up at work.” He responded, his voice low and slightly hoarse. His nose brushed against your chin, causing an involuntary shudder to run the entire length of your body.

“I’ll make a pie for you?” You offered, your words coming out in a breathy whisper as you attempted to keep your hands at your sides by gripping the fabric of your dress. A dark chuckle sounded in the room.

“You’re a shit baker, Y/n.” God, the way he said your name. There had to be a law against it. His nose moved to run along the side of your neck, where he inhaled deeply.

Fuck! He was inhaling your scent. A sinful sound fell from your lips, a combination of a sigh and a moan. You decided to change tactics. He had already won once tonight, and you’d be damned before you let him win again by wearing you down.

Forcing your head to move so your eyes could meet his, you spoke. “Swearing in front of a lady? I am so disappointed in you Clark. I took you to be a gentleman.”

To hell with self-control.

One of your hands came up to rest against the center of his chest, where the crest for his family was inlaid into the uniform. The other came to run your fingers in a teasing manner up and down the length of his arm. While your own body burned, you could practically feel the heat radiating from his as well.

Your hands on him did make him pause for a few seconds, and you smiled in triumph, thinking that you had him.

But then his lips found the shell of your ear and he kissed you.

Sweet. Heated. Gentle.

He leaned back so he could look at you and you gave him a slightly annoyed look. “This is cheating, you’re distracting me.” You pouted, to which he raised an eyebrow. “As if you’re doing anything different.” He motioned to where your fingers were now running along the side of his neck and slowly making their way into his hair.

You shrugged. “Maybe this is how I will bribe you to stay.” He shook his head, a gentle loving smile pulling at his lips as he cupped the side of your face. You leaned into his warm palm, marveling at how gentle and soft he was with you given his super-strength.

“I don’t need to be bribed Y/n. I already have my reason to stay.” He stated, to which you gave a little look of confusion. “Whats that?” You asked.

“You.”

Checkmate.

Your face burned with how violently you blushed. Your heart picked up speed. And you were sure you had stopped breathing for a few seconds as your brain tried to process what he had just said.

Your lips parted in surprise, as you stared up at him.

And that look of smug triumph and tease in his blue eyes was enough to break you from your trance.

With a growl you ducked out from under him and grabbed one of your many pillows from your bed. You began to hit him from every angle you could, while he had the audacity to laugh as he tried to shield himself from your fluffy assault.

“You are such an ass Clark! I should’ve let you freeze outside.” You yelled with each hit, his laughter only adding fuel to your embarrassment of how easily he had won you over.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He managed to say in-between his laughter. But hitting him with the pillow wasn’t enough. You wanted to win, you wanted to one-up him.

So when he tripped over your discarded heels and fell to the ground, you threw aside the pillow. Giving him no time to recover you straddled his waist, before leaning down and fusing both your lips in a kiss.

You were the one doing the kissing, since Clark laid underneath you completely unresponsive. His entire body had stiffened, and you felt a surge of satisfaction run through you, knowing you had caught him off guard.

Just as he had done to you earlier that night, you pulled back, though you didn’t pull away. You were still laying on him as you smiled smugly.

“Convinced?” Your voice sounded breathless.

Clark continued to stare up at you dumbfounded. “Didn’t think I had it in me did you?” You chuckled, enjoying every moment of your victory.

Suddenly your world flipped, and you found yourself laying on your back with Clark above you. You didn’t care though, you continued smiling up at him. “Fine.” He stated begrudgingly. “You won this round. But I still have a win from earlier tonight. After all I did convince your parents that we were dating.” He was slowly leaning down, his gaze never once breaking away from yours.

“Then why don’t you stop talking and claim your prize?” You teased, arms coming up to wrap around his strong shoulders. His answering smile was as brilliant as the sun.

“Gladly.”

And then he was kissing you. Kissing you with all he was worth as you laid underneath him, his strong body hovering over you. A sensual sigh sounded from deep in your throat as you finally gave into the feelings of pure want and need that had been clawing their way to get out from where you had caged them the entire night. Your fingers played with his hair, your body arched against his. The latter prompted him to bite your lower lip, and taking your open mouth as an invitation, began to explore you with his tongue. He groaned as his arms wrapped around you so he could shift the both of you to lay on your sides. The change in position allowed him to explore with his hands. Running them all along your body and mapping every dip and curve.

“Does kissing you mean what I think it means?” He whispered against your lips, unable to pull away from your intoxicating taste. “Sometimes actions speak louder then words.” You returned, before gripping the hair at the back of his head and pulling slightly, silently cuing him to kiss you again.

He gladly did so, kissing you deep and true whilst cupping your face between his hands. “Think I’m your new Kryptonite E.T.?” You asked with a gentle look in your eyes as you panted for breath once he had pulled back.

Clark shook his head, bringing one of your hands up to his lips and kissing your wrist. “You are my sun, Y/n.” He stated in a strong voice, prompting you to giggle and blush at the same time.

“You sure you haven’t been watching rom-coms behind my back Clark? Didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

“Mention this to anyone from the League and I will withhold further kisses.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jess Piper at The View from Rural Missouri:

Tysons, Virginia. Wasting time waiting for my Uber and my late flight out after speaking at an event the night before. I was in the lobby of the fanciest hotel I’ve ever stayed in — The Watermark. I sat in the lobby workstation watching a breathtakingly beautiful young woman take professional photos for her new career and trying to hide my excitement each time she came out in a new outfit. The photographer showed her each pose and then the young woman would imitate her. Sometimes with a laptop or a book in her lap. She is going to have a beautiful LinkedIn profile. I was invited to speak at a summit just outside of DC, and just got back a week ago. The Women’s Summit is a large annual conference hosted in part by Network Nova. I have to tell you something: the message from rural America never fails to captivate an audience. Especially an audience filled with activists in a solidly Democratic city and region.

But I am not writing to tell you what I spoke about. I am writing to tell you what I heard when I listened to the voters and activists in the room. What you’ll hear me say is not at all what the pundits are saying about Biden after the disastrous debate. It is the opposite of the narrative being furiously flung at us each day by everyone from MSNBC to CNN to the New York Times to the nightly news to opinion pieces across the country. I speak to actual people…the pundits feed off each other. I work with grassroots organizers to spread Democratic messaging…the pundits write clickbait headlines and stoke fear.

The debate. First of all, I did not watch but a few minutes of the debate live. I chose to watch it in clips and videos afterward. I was horrified. I felt like I was watching a trainwreck in slow motion. Biden performed terribly and Trump lied continuously.

[...] The voters and activists I listened to in Virginia weren’t wondering if Biden should step aside and none of them were kidding themselves about what they witnessed during the debate. They are solidly behind the Biden administration. Solidly. The summit in Virginia was diverse. Hundreds of women gathered and many were Black women. I like to hear the viewpoints of folks who are neither rural nor white — I am not in enough diverse rooms. I get a different POV and that’s important. What I heard was real and heartfelt. They are behind Biden.

I listened as several Black women spoke about their admiration for Gavin Newsom and Gretchen Whitmer, but how pundits holding them up as replacements for Joe Biden is condescending and irritating. Joe Biden has a Vice President. A Black woman — Kamala Harris. The women wondered aloud if there would be such a push to replace Biden on the ballot if his VP were not Black. Same. They wondered why journalists and politicos demand that Biden step down, but not Trump. They wondered why so many articles are being written about Biden’s age and fitness, but not the same about Trump. They wondered why Democratic strategists are making voters fearful instead of leading with a steady hand. They wondered why Biden is taking all the hits while a felon with a rape conviction, his opponent, is not even addressed.

Same. The biggest takeaway from the folks outside DC is they are angry that the “same shit” that happened in 2016 is rearing its head again. Several stated they are tired of the line “The DNC chose Biden.” They reminded me that primary voters picked him…Black voters picked him. They are sick of repeating it. These voters and activists did not waver when they repeated over and over again that they have no hesitation in voting for Biden in November.

Jess Piper sums it up perfectly: the pundit class is obsessed with Biden withdrawing, while the rank-and-file base are solidly behind Biden.

[eff4freddie]

2 Sweet 4 Me | Epilogue

Dieter Bravo x AFAB Reader Words: 800 Warnings: None

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

A/N: Ok I couldn't leave these two where they were at the end of part three. I did say it was a love story. And I do think Dieter's come to a better place as a result of it. That's a happy ending, right?

Dieter shivered. He didn’t like LA, always found the place so phony, too constructed, but fuck if he didn’t prefer the weather. He pulled his jacket tight over his shoulders, holding it closed at the neck as he moved through the hotel lobby. He could see Rudy waiting, holding the front passenger door open for him, could see the paparazzi and the autograph hunters lining up for a piece of him. Dieter sighed. He’d taken that job you’d recommended, that little indie project with an up-and-coming director, and he’d accidentally resurrected his career with it. Prep was underway for awards season. He was exhausted by it already.

As he got into the car he waved to the fans out on the street, laughed when they screamed at him. As Rudy pulled away from the curb he settled in, letting the seat warmers ease his joints a little.

‘One day, Rudy, I’m gonna be the one driving,’ he said, and Ruby grinned at him.

‘Oh, don’t pretend you don’t love being a little passenger princess,’ Rudy playfully griped at him, and Dieter rolled his eyes.

‘I dunno man, it just feels a bit like I want to take the wheel in a few different ways,’ Dieter said, liking the metaphor. Rudy was quiet, watching the road.

He was heading to a screening, then a short Q&A afterwards, in a little theatre off Broadway that had maybe 150 seats. It was one of those intimate settings, SAG or whatever. Maybe Julliard. He couldn’t remember, they’d blurred together. This one was going to be industry people though, 150 of his peers and colleagues, some of them with voting rights. He was mostly going as part of the ensemble. He liked those, as it turned out. Less pressure on him.

He thought about you. Even though it had been months since you’d last been together, since he’d texted, sent you a handful of rambling voice notes, he still scanned every crowd for your face. Couldn’t help it, didn’t want to stop doing it, even though it hurt him he still preferred it to not hoping. He’d never been an optimist. Except when it came to you.

There had been one time a few weeks back, at the Arclight of all places, that he’d seen you. You had your hair up, and your date-night boots on, and he’d felt his stomach drop a little at the thought of it. Maybe it wasn’t you, it was just someone as beautiful as you, maybe he was pining so hard he’d started hallucinating you. He could see you were waiting for someone, but Dieter couldn’t stand around long enough to see who.

For a second, he’d imagined it was him. That you’d heard he was going to a matinee of Rashomon, that maybe you’d come out to catch the glimpse of him he was now enjoying of you. Or maybe you were waiting for him because he’d called you, and you’d answered this time, and because you’d agreed to meet him, to dip your toe back in. Maybe you were dressed up in your date boots because you knew that he would know what it meant, that this wasn’t a friend thing, that this was something else entirely. Maybe you were waiting for him to wrap you up in his arms, bundle you into the back of an uber and take you home, finally, home.  

Now, in the car with Rudy, he contemplated his own selfishness. Sober sober - not just LA sober - for the first time in a long time he remembered with better clarity the way he had hurt you, lied to you, tried to hide the ugly, dark sides of himself from you even when all you’d wanted was to stand alongside him in them. His sixth therapist had a couple of ideas why that might have been the case. He wanted to talk to you about them, get your thoughts, and knew that, too, was just selfishness.

Rudy pulled up to the theatre, just as it started to snow. He knew it was better this way for you. That this way you had a fighting chance at a future, at a family. But still, Dieter wondered if you would emerge in the backrow, pop up in New York somehow, drop in from some other industry event into this one. Just to see him, just to let him know you were there. Dieter knew it was impossible, and also, didn’t care. He wondered in that moment if you regretted things, felt a stab in his chest at the idea that you might. He wondered if you ever pined for him, reached out across a cold bed and felt for him. He wondered if you ever scanned the crowds looking for him, if he wanted you to, if he wanted that for you.

He wondered if he would ever be the kind of man he wanted to be, the one that finally put you first, your happiness, what you needed. If that would be enough to hold him. Wondered if wanting you, missing you, loving you still, if that was all it would be for him, if that would be enough. He schooled his features, prepared to swing the door open and step out. Decided, in the absence of any information to the contrary, that it would.  

Taglist: @harriedandharassed

@readingiskeepingmegoing

@missladym1981

@misstokyo7love

@ghostofzion

@dieterbravobrainrotclub

@the-feckless-wonder

@swankyorange

[sure-i-exist]

Where did the kids live in Fairy Tail?

So back when everyone in Fairy Tail was a kid, they all definitely needed to live somewhere, right? And logically no one's gonna be giving a kid an appartment so does anyone wanna hear my headcanons for their housing situations when they were younger? No? Too bad, here it is!

First of all, before anyone points out Fairy Hills exists: 1. those dorms only exist for the girls, 2. I imagine Fairy Hills was actually fairly recent, it's been around for a few years but wasn't there when, for example, Cana joined the guild. I'm also ignoring most of the Fairy Hills OVA except for the fact those dorms exist at all.

Talking generally here, my headcanon is that for those who had their own appartments at like age 12 (or more specifically, those under 16-or-so, who couldn't own/rent anywhere because of their age), Makarov actually technically owned them, contractually he was the tenant for each and every home the youngest fairy tail members lived in, but those members would give money they earned from jobs directly to Makarov to pay for their rent. However, it was this situation which led to Makarov investing in the creation of a dormitory that members of Fairy Tail could live in, regardless of age, meaning there was a safe place for young members to stay and for the older members there was a place they could turn to if they were struggling to find a home elsewhere in Magnolia.

And thus, Fairy Hills was born. Originally it was going to be unisex but there were some issues trying to set that up so instead Makarov took a vote and found it was mostly women and girls of the guild who'd want the option of this dormitory, so he was just thankful he didn't need to set up another dorm too for men of the guild, because it is very expensive to upkeep Fairy Hills (and it was an expense that got cut during the 7 years, because of the dwindling funds and members). Those who were still teenagers when Fairy Hills was set up and either couldn't or didn't choose to live there (the strauss siblings, gray, possibly Jet/Droy depending on when they joined, etc.) just continued with the previous set-up of Makarov technically owning their place and they paid rent via him til they were old enough to replace his name on the contract with their's.

[From here onwards, I'm just taking the opportunity to talk one-by-one about each of the different kids growing up (there's a lot of Cana, but everyone else gets their section too), and their specific house situations.]

Now, all this is well and good, but what about Cana? She joined Fairy Tail when she was 6 years old. Makarov's not gonna put his name down to give her an appartment all on her own, she's too young (and quite a few of that generation of Fairy Tail joined young, but they were at least around 10 at the time).

Cana had the most varied housing situation since she joined so young. The Penalty Game OVA did say Cana stayed at the church before she joined the guild, and I really like that but I also feel like saying "oh she just stayed at the church for years and years before she was old enough" is kinda too easy and a bit boring. Personally my idea is that things slightly changed once she officially joined the guild (which did take surprisingly long, she just kept showing up for months before anyone asked if she actually wanted to join, after a few weeks Makarov had thought she'd already joined and he'd just forgotten when exactly that was). She did continue to stay at the church some nights, but she also began to start sleeping at the guild instead (which isn't exactly good, and is in fact much worse than sleeping at the church, but she felt like after joining she had to be at the guild all the time, in case Gildarts showed up and she missed him).

Eventually, Makarov noticed she was semi-regularly sleeping in the guild and was concerned when he realised she didn't truly have anywhere to properly stay, and while it wasn't much he decided she'd stay with him at least a few days a week, to make sure there was someone specifically looking after her and keeping an eye on her, for her to be safe. Several of Makarov's neighbours thought Cana and Laxus were siblings because of this, despite not looking much alike.

It wasn't just Makarov who took her in, as both Macao and Wakaba would occasionally have her stay the night with either of them (Wakaba was very occasional cause he was not the most responsible fella and half the time he didn't get home at all, while the other half he'd end up going home with someone else. Macao was similar, but to a lesser degree, and particularly in the months before Romeo was born he'd invite Cana to spend a few nights kinda as practise for when he had his son). A couple other guildmembers did the same every so often too, having her stay round for a night or two, resulting in Cana being on good terms with almost every member of the guild before any other kids even joined. She didn't always stay with Makarov, or Macao, or whoever else in the guild, though; she still continued staying at the church once a week or so, and of course would still sleep at the guild from time to time (because everyone does that, especially when there's a party going on). She never had an even slightly stable home, which sucked, and definitely affected her growing up, but there was a lot of love, and that much was good.

Gray also joined the guild a little earlier than others, he was 8 at the time, so he also had a little bit of the Cana experience, though he was never with other guildmembers, instead he only stayed with Makarov or at the guild (and once at the church). This lasted for a few weeks/months before he managed to convince Makarov to help him get some kinda home for himself, which Makarov agreed so long as Cana and Gray lived together for it (the logic being two 8 year olds is safer than one). Cana was fine with this, finally getting some sort of a stable home though she'd still sometimes be offered to stay the night with an older member of the guild (most likely to be Macao) who was kinda looking out for her. Once Gray got the appartment however he was determined to keep it, making sure he and Cana always made enough each month for rent (Makarov would chip in whenever they didn't quite get enough, though they didn't always know he was doing this).

Erza, the 3rd kid to join Fairy Tail, also followed the routine of staying at the guild, then staying with Makarov, and then she actually stayed with Gray and Cana for a few weeks before finally getting her own place. She stayed with Makarov much longer than Gray did, and actually only stayed with him rather than Cana's experience with other members too. Erza stayed at Makarov's home for a little less than a year before she moved out. (This time the neighbours caught on that this was some kid Makarov was sort-of-adopting, not another grandchild. They still didn't realise Laxus was the only real grandchild though, and that Cana was as unrelated to the Dreyars as Erza was.)

Natsu stayed with Makarov for about two days before he left. Natsu didn't often spend much time in Magnolia anyway, at any moment he could he'd be off looking for Igneel, and this was largely true until he became friends with Lisanna, who didn't take long jobs away from the guild and could usually be found at Fairy Tail. He'd still be out looking for Igneel most of the time, but his desperation faded as time went on and he actually built a proper home for himself (or rather, he found an abandoned house in the woods and made it up for himself and Happy). In the time between when he joined the guild and when he found the house, he almost entirely slept in the guild hall or in the woods, he'd not exactly had a conventional house with Igneel so didn't see the point for himself.

By the time the Strauss siblings came to the guild, Makarov was already putting in the plans for a Fairy dormitory. They stayed with him for a few weeks (by this point Laxus was either living alone after Ivan's removal from the guild, or was on a job for a month or so since otherwise he'd be living with Makarov then). Shortly after joining, Makarov helped the siblings find a place to live, they paid rent via him, and that was that until Mirajane turned 16-or-so and could claim tenancy herself.

Levy must've been the next to join, since she wasn't seen when Happy was born but she was there for Lisanna's birthday. When she joined Fairy Hills would've been set up I reckon, Erza and Cana would have moved to live there (as well as various women in Fairy Tail), and Levy would've likely skipped the previous step of living with Makarov as she could immediately find a home in Fairy Hills.

Laxus is the final person I'm gonna discuss, since he's unique in that obviously he's always been part of Fairy Tail. I think it's pretty safe to say that he lived with Ivan when he was a kid, but frequently followed after his grandfather and spent time at the guild. I don't know if it's stated exactly what age Laxus was when Ivan got kicked out, but I assume he was around 16, and from that I like to think he was technically still living with Ivan at the time but both Laxus and Ivan would go on long jobs that lead them far away from Fairy Tail (though Ivan wasn't officially going on jobs every time he left for weeks or months at a time, that's just what Laxus thought he was doing). Because of this lack of closeness, Laxus didn't really see how his dad was so bad that he needed to be removed from the guild (he knew he was far from the best guy around, but he didn't know the worst stuff). Anyway, when Ivan left Fairy Tail that left Laxus living with Makarov for about a week or two before he found a place for himself. It was an uncomfortable week.