#and the anxiety gremlin in me needs to shut the fuck up before I get the spray bottle

[lululandd]

but not for me;

pairing: könig x gn!reader

word count: 602

warnings: self-doubt, anxiety, insecurity, angst(?)

notes: gremlin man’s stupid anxiety wont shut the fuck up (the notes and summary can be switched) (ao3)

summary: könig believes he’s hard to love.

He dreads going home. He is afraid to see your face when he opens the front door. It burns him so to feel such a negative emotion towards you; to even have such adverse reactions.

Sometimes he believes you to be superhuman, being able to hear his military boots crunching on the gravel by the front gate from wherever you are in the house; and run to him with arms wide open and smile brighter than the flashbangs they throw at him.

That’s why he never looks at it directly. 

And why he notices everything else.

How you look like you’ve lost weight when he returns, the dark circles under your eyes that disappear when he’s home, the stories his grandmother told him about your puffy, swollen red eyes and your hoarse voice when you come visit her.

He sees you hurting, no, he feels you hurting. From the way you look up at him every time his phone buzzed, to the way you flinch whenever there’s a truck passing by. It agonises him, every little pain of yours magnified in his mind.

He does not deserve such a person like you. Who wakes him up so sweetly with kisses, who soothes his joint pains with balms everytime the weather turns sour, who walks his grandmother to wherever her old heart desires before the crack of dawn.

You deserve a relationship that enables you to sleep peacefully at night.

A delicate kiss to his temple startled him from his thoughts.

“You were somewhere else.”

He apologised by pulling you into his lap. “I am here now.” His attention turns to you, smiling faintly as he kisses your hand–hands that have never known violence, hands that have never taken a life–and closed his eyes for a moment.

Not two days later he would tell you. To leave him, to find someone better that would not make you lose sleep and weight and happiness. Someone who can provide and care every time you need it.

You stared at him for the longest time, gaze empty and distant. He had accounted for tears, he expected yelling, he knows there will be lots of arguing. But grabbing a chair to stand on only to slap him properly and squarely on the cheek until his ears rang? He could not have seen it coming.

You wobbled a bit; he had to steady you by your upper arms so you don’t fall out of the chair.

“Are you okay?” He asks softly, as if you were the one that got slapped so hard that it triggered a tinnitus.

Your smile was fragile, in contrast to the anger he sees in your eyes, “Tell me, König. Have you fallen out of love? Are you in love with someone else?”

He shook his head before he could comprehend your question. Your words have struck him, harder than the slap you just delivered. How could there be anyone else but you? It’s always you. It will always be you. To him you are a necessity, a need. The thought of him with someone else brought a wave of uncomfortable pressure that he hasn’t done enough.

You cupped his jaw and tears rolled heavily down his face in torrents as you placed his head delicately on your chest. Such tenderness for someone whose filthy, brutish hands has known nothing but carnage and death since the tender age of seventeen. 

As if you can hear what he is thinking, “Do I need to slap you harder to get those thoughts out of your head?”

He giggled despite the sniffles and hiccups.

[jjkpls]

the wishlist (m) - 3

“You used it.”

> genre : smut, fluff

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)

> words : 4.2k

> content/warnings : back at it again w/ the bff2l; one sided love, lot of pining; sextoys talk and use; explicit language; masturbation (f); ambiguous infidelity; awkward oc; koo being cute but insufferable

previous - next

For about a week and a half, you simply ignore the outrageous box sitting in the centre of your living room.

If you omit to remember what’s inside, it’s just a nice-looking decoration, embellishing your messy coffee table. It’s perfectly fine sitting between the unopened mails and the takeout brochures. You see Jungkook glance at it each time he comes over but he has the decency to not mention it. You might have read a little disappointment but he didn’t share it with you, not wanting to bother you, as you rightfully assumed, and in any case, you’re just doing exactly what you said you would: not use it. 

Then comes a glorious day of resting from work for you, and miraculously it matches your two closest girl friends' schedules and they owe to come over, celebrate a belated Christmas with you. And as you’re quickly tidying up the place, the question of the box being way too present here is raised again. They will ask about it. One will surely open it before you even get to answer.

The box has to go. 

And in your room, hidden in your bedside table where you know no one will peak, it goes. 

When you wake up from the fantastic, long-awaited Christmas celebration, it’s with a terrible headache. Mary, the amateur singer, received a ridiculous karaoke mic and if karaoke is involved, so is alcohol. You didn’t know that but apparently, you can get a severe almost deadly hangover from rosé. Well. Starting this new year already learning new things, how great. 

One thing that’s unchanged for this new year, as it seems, is Jungkook's talent for psychic arts. He somehow knows you need a copious breakfast made with love and by him, and the curious hangover shot only his roommate has the secret recipe of, to cope with being alive this morning. 

“Hello, Sunshine.” Your face feels so bloated and tensed at the same time like it’s made of playdoh and some devilish kid came and punched at it then squished it hard with its chubby mean fingers.

Very unpleasant.

You know you have very little to do with a ray of sunshine at the moment. You're more alike a gremlin or something. Therefore, as a gremlin would, you groan an answer. You catch through the minuscule slits you now own for eyelids a grin from him. It’s not even vexing or upsetting. His lovely, lovely smile is always a blessing. It’s the only thing that makes you not want to head back to bed and just sleep until death ensues. The pretty, pretty thing. With the big bunny front teeth. He is the sunshine. 

“Had fun last night?” He asks, still grinning, once he’s served you and himself two good plates of pancakes. He’s sitting in front of you, in front of this delicious looking good, yet he’s ogling you with a strange insistence. When he starts eating because you take too long to formulate a response, he munches slowly, still staring, instead of stuffing his face and swallow down the whole thing like a starving man, like he usually does. 

“Yeah. They spoiled me.” You say, quietly. You’re confused. You feel uneasy like there’s something you’re not getting. You hate this feeling. Usually, this friendship is filled with inside jokes you can make up exclusively via telepathy. But here you’re missing something, it feels. Or you might just be confused by the headache and possibly somehow still a bit drunk. 

“Oh did they?” The beam is even wider. You frown, nod, decide that it’s too early and your brain too foggy to try and investigate a confusion that might just be the product of your imagination. 

It doesn’t click then. It doesn’t click the next three times he asks you again, with slightly different formulations if, really, you had fun last night. 

He departs an hour later because he has an appointment with a client, as always leaving some of himself for your guilty pleasure and the marking on your eyelids of that curious grin. That curious mischievous grin. With the crooked shape, the white teeth looking menacing like a wolve’s and the eyebrows arched in suggestion.

How come such an attractive look can be so anxiety-inducing? You’re too fidgety, too confused and concerned to focus on anything. Remnants of the conversation rolling back again and again, trying to make sense of things that probably do not necessitate further explaining. 

The whole ordeal made you so nervous, you end up after an hour of trying to go about your day and failing poorly, sitting on your sofa, lotus style, eyes closed and hands turned up to the universe (hoping It might offer you some clearance It would just drop off in your palms). The thing is meditating is hard. Making so your brain would shut the fuck up is hard as hell. And you suck at it. 

Spoiler alert, you don’t reach the state of inner peace and quiet you wished to find. Instead, you make enough silence for your noggins to be more performing and suddenly it hits. Your eyes grow ten times in size, you almost fall from your sit for the shock is violent.

The moron.

You or him, probably both. 

You

I did NOT use it.

You

I put it away because the girls were coming over but I DID NOT USE IT

He simply replies with a winking emoji and you hate him for it. 

You

Jeon Jungkook, ur a dick I said I wouldnt use it EVER and I won’t, have a nice day moron. 

And again, this time, you mean it. You’ve never said anything with this much conviction in these twenty-five years of living.

Why would you now? When you now have experienced what it felt to have him look at you thinking you’ve done it. It felt mortifying without even knowing why. In all the case scenarios you could have come up with, you’ve never imagined that one. You would use it, he would know about it somehow, he wouldn’t be disgusted (it wouldn’t make sense for him to be as he is the one who offered it to you but your brain and soft ego sometimes are annoying like that), he would be amused, maybe content, but he wouldn't make you feel mortified. 

Having him considering you in a sexual position should be... cool, shouldn’t it? If you really like him that much. Maybe you were confused all along and actually, you don’t, you mistook your own feelings. 

Just a quick check of a mental picture you have of him, the fond smile growing just from his pretty face with the pretty everything on it can’t be trusted because, for all you know, everyone smiles this way when they think about him. On the other hand, the swift blush invading your cheeks when you (by accident) linger on parts you really really like about him -like his thighs or the man titties he’s been growing lately- serve to remind you that yes, yes indeed you like him. 

But he’s an asshole.

No matter how much you thought about it (and you thought about it a lot even though you’re ashamed to admit it), you've never consider it to realize, you never and you still don’t believe anything non-platonic would ever happen with him. You’re just made to be friends. The best of friends but still just friends. 

Not even taking a step but simply dipping the tips of your toes in these unknown waters turns out to be terrifying and you're mad at him because he’s putting you in this situation where you feel awfully uneasy. 

It should all remain a very personal, very intimate fantasy: your attraction for him.

He cracked the wall for a second, it felt wrong and terrible but it’s done and over with now.

It’s only you and your thoughts. 

You don’t ever mention it, he doesn’t bring it back up. Soon the season of celebrations and wishes is behind you, the world starts rolling slowly, boringly so with its lots of little annoyances and distractions and you’re not even thinking about it anymore, neither is he. 

You’re stressed out. Work is being a bitch as it does. And because it sucks most of your time and patience, the only quick way to unwind you know comes to play. 

But the hassle is not worth it. Unfortunately this you always need to realize afterwards. After having searched the internet for good masturbatory content for half an hour, working yourself for two hours and then, there’s the safety wee and the freshening up before bed, to wake up the next morning feeling like shit because of course, you sacrificed hours of sleep for an unsatisfactory outcome.

It’s not worth it.

It hasn’t been for months. Even if you’re still more able to take care of yourself and pleasure yourself better than most if not all men you’ve ever been with, something is missing: a man (or maybe just a dick). 

You feel bored and empty (in both senses). Stuck because the more you need to unwind, the more you try, the less you feel better. 

It’s the snake biting its own tail. 

Until a certain pretty blue box, sleeping inside your bedside table, recalls itself to you. It feels like a century had passed since the box arrived in your life, it doesn’t seem as scary as it used to, as stressful. The fact that Jungkook hasn’t mentioned it, might even has himself forgotten about it, help immensely. 

And it is the very moment, you forget to remember about this promise you made to him and yourself, the promise that you would not use it. 

Right about now, not only stressed and annoyed by everything but also horny for no particular reason, this dildo with the box that matches your planner sounds ideal. 

And it is ideal.

Feels like exactly what you needed. The size is not ridiculously big, it’s fairly tiny actually but given you haven’t had sex in a while, it suffices to stretch you out just fine. It’s new and exciting. The texture feels really nice, smooth, slipping perfectly right between your walls. It’s rather long, slightly curved, filling you in deep and teasing the spot that you could never even dream of reaching with your short ass fingers. And in no time (and you actually regret that) you’re on cloud 9, it’s a thought of the Santa that brought this blessing of a gift in your life that sends you there. You feel satisfied, content, fulfilled from the tip of your hair to your toes, smiling like an idiot because damn, that was a good orgasm. 

Right this moment, you feel fine about using the present. About quickly having thought about him too because it’s not that much of a big deal. He won’t know about it. He doesn’t really seem to care about your sex life anymore (which is, ironically, a blessing). Therefore why should there be a problem? Why would there be?

Apparently, you’ve underestimated the crankiness of your attitude for the few weeks that passed before the phenomenal orgasm. 

Apparently, you had been the worst kind of truculent bitch there is, to a level you didn’t even know you could reach (also no one told you!), because when Jungkook meets up with you, maybe after the third or fourth times of having used your lovely new companion, he noticed something has changed. Instantly. 

“What’s going on?” He asks with a bright smile and excited shiny eyes as if he expects you to have great news to share. 

“Nothing special...” Tilting your head to the side, you drag the words out as you try to think about it for a second, wondering if there’s something that needs to be told.

“Really?” He sucks on his banana yoghurt with eyebrows frowned, staring at you as if he’s studying you. Once the thing is empty, he tosses it in a nearby bin, crosses his arms on his chest and glares. He looks like a detective about to interrogate you. He would look intimidating if it were not for his lips, sucked in to gather the last taste of his yoghurt. “You look awfully happy.”

“Do I?” It makes you smile, shrug your shoulders. It doesn’t hit just then. It should be fine. He can’t unravel something that you don’t even have knowledge of, can he? But Jungkook is a little weasel. He loves to know everything.

Especially when it’s about you. 

“You better not be seeing anyone-“ You should wonder where this is coming from, all of a sudden. Instead, you take offence, how dares he?

“What do you mean ‘I better’? I do what-“

“Without telling me? You better not.” He has that shit-eating grin, his signature brat's smile, because he knows you can’t reach over the table to smack him in the head without risking to tip over your drinks or dip your sleeve in soja sauce. 

“Anyway. Nothing's going on.” For a second, a staring contest takes place on this convenience store's terrace. You’re not sure why. He’s daring you for no reason. Until his mouth twitches, wanting to smile and it makes you laugh so he follows along. “Were you not supposed to tell me about your next appointment?” 

“Client Amy, yes!” It shouldn’t make you laugh to hear him name her like that as it’s been his trademark to mention his clients as if they were Pokémon trainers but it does.

You’ve always thought that it’s his very personal way of living this childhood fantasy of existing within the Pokémon universe. His life is full of potential trainers. Most of the time it’s just Client Enter the Name here but sometimes it’s Baker Jin -who’s not actually a baker but a salesman at his neighbourhood’s bakery-, there’s Dancer Hoseok, who’s the main dance partner of his best friend and Roommate Park Jimin. Sometimes he calls you Friend Y/N, it’s frustratingly funny. You hate that you spill at least a nose snort at each and every single one of his stupid jokes. His grin always grows ten times bigger, his eyes twinkle in a lovely way but you know that you are encouraging him. Encouraging him to be fucking annoying, like a little brother who’s just pushing unfunny jokes too far, just keep repeating them because he knows he can get a reaction. “She wants me to tattoo the dragon from Spirited Away on her arm-“

You gasp and he smiles even wider. 

“I know, right? And I was thinking- to give it flow, I would have it- like fly through cherry blossoms.” Attentively, you listen, squinting a bit when he gets technical to try and picture the project you have a hard time making up alone in your mind.

Imagination and creativity have always been his thing. He had you impregnated with it long ago because he is too passionate and too much of a sharer to allow you to keep away from all arts -because you can’t hold a pencil straight without panicking at the idea of having to draw something- which you would have gladly done if it weren't for him. He’s the gifted one. And his drawings, either on paper, screen or skin, have always been a subject of huge admiration for you. You’re a bit ashamed to admit it but you’ve never really touched to anything really artistic. You often don’t really get it. But his stuff does something to you -and not only because you adore him but actually impartially. There’s no finesse, no pertinency, no trait nor emotion you’ve acknowledged and connected to better than the ones he creates. “You know this scene where he’s struggling against the little paper thingies and he’s flying through them and they’re going everywhere, I was thinking that, replace them with cherry blossoms. And there would be little petals like everywhere around it. Sounds cool?”

“It sounds fantastic.” You say honestly. You’re impressed by every single one of his projects. Always surprised, somehow, by the pieces he ends up making. Sometimes scrolling through the Instagram page he uses as a book, where he publishes his most elaborated, most expensive pieces and while recognizing his touch, the delicacy in his traits, the peculiar curls of certain lines, the overall feel to them, there’s always this sort of paradoxical disbelief. How could this kid make these and at the same time, who else but him to have made these?

Cute nose scrunches up. 

“I’ll send you my drawings when I’m done with them.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.” He is mimicking you. Same pose with the head nod and the leg cross. Same tone and same expression apart from the discreet light dancing in his eye. “So what’s up? You needed to talk to me about something yesterday, didn’t you?”

It takes a second for you to remember as the drastic change in your mood makes it seem the distressed text you sent him yesterday, right when you left work, was written a whole week ago. You don’t remember very well having felt so stressed and pissed off, pushed to your very limits by useless co-workers, that you felt the urgent need to rant about it all, vent your anger and frustration out to him. He was busy and didn’t answer right away. You got home, find the comfort of your sweater sitting on the warm heater and the glorious stand of your dildo and it all went away, bad mood, headache, grudges. 

Of course, it awakes a wave of shame within you. If you have been able to use it without feeling guilt nor embarrassment on your own, it’s something else to think about it in front of Jungkook. You’ve made sure not to think about this dildo in front of him ever. But here, it’s him recalling it to you without even knowing. 

Whatever, you can pretend that everything’s normal. With a barely natural cough, and the even more suspicious dismissive wave of the hand, you try to kill the conversation, “It was just my coworker getting on my nerves again, it’s whatever.”

Jungkook is watching you soundly. It’s nothing unusual for him. He’s the kind of persons that lean in when they listen to you, you never know how conscious they are of it but it’s like they really mean to make you feel important and heard. Therefore it shouldn’t worry you, he’s just doing his usual thing. 

It still makes you grow increasingly more nervous. 

It is factual that it is never “whatever”. The topic of your stupid dumb bitch of a coworker messing with you has always been a pressing subject you, every now and then, more often than you’d like, needed to ramble about to anyone willing to listen because she tended to make your life a pure living hell. The job sucks in itself but she made it a hundred times worse. And here you are, dismissing it. How suspicious. 

“When you texted me yesterday, I thought it was for something bad.” He starts, frowning and staring deep inside the empty cookie package sitting on the table. “Then I saw you earlier and I thought it was for something really good, because of your face.”

“What’s up with my face?” You try to play it cool. Play it nonchalant and oblivious. If you can’t see the aura of contentment he can visibly observe around you, surely you’ve seen the glow up your skin has encountered since you’ve started using this sex toy. Unexpected benefit of using it that wasn’t even listed on the box, the stress it’s relieved and the pleasure it’s given have just cleared your skin out. Unbelievable but true. And apparently, he noticed. 

“I don’t know. You look really... contented.”

“Contented?”

“Yeah...”

You shrug, looking down, at the crumbs on your side of the table, praying silently that the embarrassment you feel creeping up your face doesn’t show. “I’ve been used to you looking tired and all but you look-“ Like every single once of misery has been fucked out of your system. “Lately, you look... good.” The chosen adjective makes you tilt your head. For so many reasons, you didn’t expect to hear this one and for similar reasons, you don’t understand what he means. Without having you saying aloud anything, he gets your dubious grimace and chuckles, “Rejuvenated, actually.” Even worse.

To simplify in a few words, you used to look like an old decrepit hag and now that you’ve been thoroughly fucked -by yourself technically but still- you look rejuvenated. A word literally no one ever uses in real life.

You detest that he’s probably right. And now, embarrassment is not creeping but actually moving in, with all its stuff and luggage. Hopefully though, again, it doesn’t show on your stupid youthful face. “Are my compliments making you blush?”

Great. 

“You can’t make me blush, moron. And if you think those were compliments then-“ You give him big wide eyes of “well fuck” and of course he laughs at that. 

“Indeed, I can’t make you blush.” He has his serious, investigating type of expression again. You almost expect him to fetch a little notebook out of his pocket and start scribbling observations while asking you more questions. 

“What’s making you blush then?”

“I’m not blushing, it’s just hot.” His eyebrows jump in a rude disagreeing curve. You don’t get why. It can happen, to be hot outside, at the near end of Korea’s winter, while simultaneously having red and painful looking fingers on the verge of congelation desperately seeking warmth in your pockets. 

And maybe because it’s not the first time, he’s getting better at catching the signs, at drawing the lines in between the clues. Your caricatural post-orgasm happy face, your systematic defensiveness whenever the conversation is leading somehow to your sexuality, the blatant tell of shame on your cheeks when there’s nothing else ever that embarrass you in front of him. There’s only the common cause missing and quickly, ignoring completely your attempts at diverting the conversation on something else, a giant light bulb turns on on top of his head. It brings the light of understanding through his eyeballs who suddenly look extra bright. 

“You used it.” For a second, you consider packing up your things and just leave this fucking terrace along with the conversation. But you’re cold as fuck, the way home seems like too much torture to be going through alone.

Why are you like this?

Maybe there’s a vain hope that it will lead to some resolution. Some pleasant resolution. Maybe he won’t talk about it ever again if you just accept to have this conversation without showing the stubborn reluctance you’ve used each time. 

“Yes, I did. So what?” His grin is blinding. It’s one of the very very wide, very very bright ones. So wide it shows all his teeth and it doesn’t even look like the cute bunny smile anymore. It’s the predatory grin. It’s intimidating to solely focus on therefore you chose to pick the corner of his eyes and the top of his nose, all wrinkled up that have anything but intimidation to them. 

“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” You grimace. Indeed. You have no idea because you don’t even fucking understand. 

“You’re a weirdo.”

“I’m just happy you used my dildo.” You scoff and almost choke at both his phrasing and the way he so naturally says the word while you’re outside. There’s no one as dumb as you to sit outside with this weather but still, someone passing by could hear. 

Maybe there’s no deep further explanation to look for. Maybe it’s literally as simple as him getting you a present and him being happy that you found usefulness to it. Like most people. People are saddened sometimes pissed when they flop with presents. Maybe it’s that simple. 

“Don’t say it like that.” He cackles like a witch and you know, that once again he’s just messing with you, knowing exactly what to do or say to tickle your patience. 

“So I can gather it was good?” The worse of the nervous wave has passed. He asks quite nonchalantly. Perhaps it’s your ego wanting that but you hate the idea that you’d find yourself in a situation where he’s clearly more adult than you -even if on so many levels he is. If he can talk about it then you can. Try. You can try. 

“Hm. Was nice.” You kind of sound the way you do when as a teen your mom would ask you about your day and you just didn’t want to answer because of laziness, lack of interest, lack of willingness to share, but that will do. He nods, smiles with his lips tight, rather fondly. 

“How many times did you use it?”

Taking a deep breath, you mumble, shrugging faux casualness, “A few times.” More like a dozen times but he doesn’t need the details, does he? He nods again, still smiling, taking in your answer. 

“Cool.” And he’s satisfied. With the answer and the turns of events as it seems.

There you go, you did it.

You resolved the thing.

Now he can leave you alone with your fantasies and your -not his but your- dildo and there wouldn’t be any further occasion to bring it up. You might be a coward but it’s perfectly fine by you.

Sounds absolutely peachy.

If he chooses to play his part right.

A/N: oh myyy, we’re getting somewhere arn’t we? i really hope you enjoyed this part, let me know your thoughts, scream your frustration, i’m all ears (or eyes). next update will be a double one because the first part is quite short. hoping you’re excited. i wish you a beautiful sunday and a lovely week. take care, lots of lots love.

Tag list: @infernal-alpaca​ @kaepjjangiya​ @channiespup​ @jinsonaz​ @kpopfandomftw​ @ggukkieland​ (sorry love)

IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, PLEASE ASK IN THE COMMENT, THANK YOU :))

[weareallstoriesintheend]

As Long As You Need (Reader x Adam Sackler)

Summary: Adam and Reader are hookup buddies. Adam gets concerned that you don't want to see him for a few weeks and comes over to check on reader. Reader is struggling with anxiety/depression and Adam comforts them through a panic attack.

Warnings: Depression, anxiety & panic attacks

Note: This was the fic I wrote for the Summer 2021 @adcuficexchange for LondonID!🥰 I hope this fic is something that resonates with people, I know mental health is a vast and personal subject but I hope something hits home. Even if it's just some beautiful care from our favourite gremlin 💕

The light of the day was fading slowly and the grey cover of dusk was slipping its way into the room. You lay in bed, head tucked against the pillows, body exhausted with the expense of the energy anxiety was taking from you. You felt empty and yet full to the brim, your mind weighed so heavy that you could barely move most days. The second you heard the loud thumping knocks on your front door you jolted as if waking up from a bad dream.

“Kid you in there?” Adams voice came, muffled by the thick wood of the doors between you, booming through your silence. You realised in that moment that you hadn’t spoken to him or seen him for a while and as someone who was a pretty regular occurrence in your life it suddenly felt strange to hear his voice after such a long time, you pulled your phone out from under the pillow and unlocked it. Your eyes screwed shut at the blinding light, but peeking through your eyelashes you checked your messages. Your last text to him had been nearly 3 weeks ago, then the page was just filled with him texting you again and again. All of which, in the haze of your mind, you had ignored. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him; you craved his cheeky smile, soft hair and adorable galaxy of freckles that smattered his skin. It was just the thought of having to explain the tornado that was tearing you apart that felt like a crushing pressure you couldn’t bear. Basic daily life was enough, sometimes too much, so anything on top of that you had shut out.

You curled yourself into the sheets a little more, pulling them around your shoulders. Although they were soft cotton the brush of them across your overly sensitive skin felt like sandpaper dragging over a raw exposed nerve. You stayed as still as possible whilst his knocks continued to echo through your apartment.

In a way you wondered if you had any obligation to him at all, you guys just hooked up every now and again after meeting at a mutual friends birthday party a year or so ago. Nothing serious, no dates, just fucking. He scratched an itch for you so you didn’t have to brave the dating world that daunted you. He was fun, he made you laugh but he didn’t pressure you to spend any more time with him than coming over to hold you face down into your mattress allowed.

The knocks turned to bangs of a fist and you pulled your blanket over your head, maybe he’d just go away if he thought you weren’t home. Your body thrummed with the disturbance of your comfortable silence and it made you uneasy. A slight nausea rippled through your throat. “I know you’re home” his voice bellowed, you closed your eyes and didn’t respond. “Open the fucking door kid” he shouted, he didn’t sound angry but you couldn’t quite make out the tone. He’d never used it before around you that’s for sure, he almost sounded worried. Then there was more thumping on the door, “Kid, for fucks sake your sweet old lady neighbour is looking at me like I’m fucking nuts, open the door”

You sighed and slung yourself off the bed onto your feet. The rush of movement made your head spin; your muscles and joints ached with a lack of energy. You tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the main room of your apartment, hoping that he couldn’t hear your deliberately soft padding footsteps. With your eyes trained on the door you didn’t notice the chair sticking out from the table and you bumped it as you passed. You froze dead still waiting to see if he’d heard it.

“I can hear you rustling around in there. Just open the fucking door and talk to me”

“I don’t want you to see me” you replied hesitantly, not raising the volume of your voice too high knowing he could hear you through the door now. The croak of your voice finally speaking was crackly and broken. “Why not?”

“I… I don’t look great” you looked at yourself in the reflection of the painting hanging on the wall. In the glass you could just about see yourself looking back; your hair was greasy and dishevelled, your eyes were bloodshot, rimmed with red and dark circles created a deep shadow underneath them. You suddenly balked at how awful you actually looked, you hadn’t showered in a few days and it really showed. Your face looked kind of gaunt with the limited food and sleep you’d given yourself for the last few weeks, mind always racing with one thought after another. The racing thoughts only leaving space for the basics of working at your laptop for 8 hours a day and activities to numb your mind till a restless bedtime. “Are you kidding?” he scoffed, thumping his fist once against the door, “I’ve seen you sweating, crying and covered in my cum… I don’t think you looking a little messy is going to be bother me” You cringed at how loud he was talking and in your embarrassment you frantically pulled the door open, “Jesus Adam don’t say that so loud my neighbours will hear y-“ you paused mid-sentence when you saw how he was looking at you. He was shocked and trying to hide it but his eyes were wide with sympathy. You instantly went to close the door on him again but he put his overly large foot in the way.

“Nope, no way! You opened it, I’m like a vampire, you’ve got to let me in now” he smiled cheekily. You sighed and let go of the door walking away from him. “Listen I don’t know why you’re here” you said, voice trailing behind you as you made your way to the couch hearing him step inside and close the door behind him, “I don’t really think I’m in any fit state to be fucking anyone” “I’m not here to fuck you” he retorted, for some reason that kind of stung. “Then why are you here?” you said, nestling into the couch cushions as he firmly placed himself standing in front of you. Adam was staring down at you with that intense glare he always seemed to have and you squinted your eyes, hurting due to the light from the windows, to look up at him. “Why am I here? You haven’t talked to me for like… three weeks. What the fuck do you think I’m doing here? I thought I was going to find you rotting in the bathtub or some shit” You rolled your eyes “I’m fine” “Oh right this…” he paused, flailing his arms at the quite frankly disgusting state of your living room, “… this is ‘fine’?” “This is as good as it gets” you muttered under your breath. He scoffed and you looked up at him, you took a second to take him in. He’d clearly run here, the beads of sweat were trailing gently down his temples and had matted the curly little front pieces of his hair. The outfit he was wearing, a dark blue cut off tank top, grey knee length shorts and heavy tan work boots over cream socks, would look kind of uncoordinated on anyone else but something about Adam always just… made sense.

“What do you mean?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Nothing” you rolled your eyes again, “You know you can just go right? I don’t even know why you’re bothering”

“What are you talking about kid? I wanted to make sure you were alright. You went all ghost on me and I was worried about you”

“Worried?” now it was your turn to scoff, you could feel the sickening panic rolling around inside your stomach and you needed him to leave.

“Yeah kid… worried” Adams voice suddenly had a tinge of anger behind it and it made the panic swirl harder around inside you.

“Well I don’t need you to worry about me. That’s not your job, your job is to fuck me and leave. And you’re good at that. So you do your job and I’ll do mine”

“Not true” he retorted, face screwed up a little against the harshness of your words.

“You were the one that set those rules Adam” you replied, frustration tainting your words “You don’t need to act like you give a shit”

“Hey when I commit, I really commit” “Commit to what?” you shouted, losing a little of your patience as your ears started to ring and the blood pumped through your body like a steady beat of music. “Commit to you!” he yelled back “We may not be dating or whatever but when I want someone in my life I work for that. Clearly you don’t…we are supposed to be fucking friends after all!”

He had every right to be mad, you had barely treated him like a human being lately and the wash of guilt made your heart start to jump in its rhythm. You could feel the brush of heat up the back of your neck and your pulse thudding in your ears. You shook your head wishing away what you knew was happening; the panic of the overwhelming sense of everything was rising up from your toes. He couldn’t see you like this, it was too embarrassing.

Although your breath was basically coming out like gasps you looked up at him and firmly said “Please leave”

He shook his head “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why you’re avoiding me. Did I do something?” You stood up from your seat on the couch but didn’t get very far, your body felt over stimulated and you couldn’t get your mind clear enough to decide where to go to escape him. So you started pacing back and forth, hands clenching and unclenching at your sides.

“Adam please just go” this time your voice betrayed you even further, the tell-tale break in your speech giving away the tears that had begun to brim in your eyes. You pushed the base of your palms harshly into your eye sockets, rubbing away the tears. “Hey hey hey” he said softly, reaching out for your wrists and you flinched back, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Please just leave!” you shouted, panicked breath coming out of you in heavy pants. “I can’t breathe” you whispered to yourself turning away from him. Your tears, now virtually unstoppable, cascaded down your cheeks as the panic truly set in. You swayed slightly as you began to feel light-headed.

“Tell me what you need” you heard him say, but his voice felt like it was miles away from you even as he stood mere steps away with his hands outstretched slightly in your direction.

This was it, you were officially going crazy. You couldn’t even handle a simple conversation or own up to your shitty actions. You stole a glance at Adam, his eyebrows were pulled down with concern watching you and a wave of nausea rolled up into the back of your throat. He was going to think you were insane after this, this was the last time you were ever going to see him and this was how you were acting. You felt your cheeks heat up, burning with panic and embarrassment. One of the only things that kept you afloat, the only thing had made you happy as of late, was going to walk out. You could imagine him telling his friends about the crazy chick he used to fuck on the side, “She just totally flipped out on me, honestly man fucking nuts” you could practically hear his voice already, full of mocking vitriol towards you.

Then you really started to hyperventilate, chest aching with the weight of your gasps, but something in the back of your mind gave you respite… that wasn’t Adam. That wouldn’t be how he would act. He was kind. You glanced up at him as your hands began to shake violently.

“I-I’m sorry” you stuttered out, you felt your body collapse underneath you as the room began to spin around you. He dove forward to catch you as your body buckled down to the hard wooden floor.

“Come here” his voice was gentle and barely audible to you but he held you tight, this time you didn’t flinch and he quickly gathered you into his arms in the fear you would move away from him again. “It’s just a panic attack, you’re going to be okay. I’m right here, it’ll be over soon” As he pulled you into his chest, seating himself on the floor with you, he stretched his long legs out around you so his whole body was caging you against him. Your breath instantly started to slow down as the warmth and closeness of him soothed you. He didn’t speak too much, he just calmed your mind with hushed whispers of “Shhh” and “You’re going to be okay”.

You clung yourself to him, vibrating with the force of the trembles that were wracking your body. Your teeth chattered in your head causing you to screw your eyes closed in pain. Your fingers wound tight in his shirt as your breathing finally began to even out. Your body released some of the tension that was winding your muscles tight and you leant a little more into his chest.

“H-how did you know?” you stammered, voice barely above a whisper as you regained your breath.

He shrugged “My mom used to get them… and my sister for a while. I’m used to it.” he smiled softly, lips merely twitching up at the edges as he gauged your reaction. He stroked his large hand through your tangled hair, massaging his fingers over your scalp as your body relaxed and you sighed. “Better?” he asked, placing a careful kiss to the top of your head. You nodded, the scent of his cologne and sweat drifted over you as you kept yourself gripped against him, not quite ready to be moved from his warmth.

“You didn’t have to do this” you croaked, looking up at him now. He shook his head and rolled his eyes jokingly, a smirk coming over his lips as he does it.

“You know we don’t just have to fuck right? We can be more than that.” he chuckled, holding your face gently with one hand, “We can also talk, we are friends right?”

You nodded again, looking up at him with wide glassy eyes. He kissed the tip of your nose and you scrunched it.

“Listen maybe we’re just friends for a little while. We can… get lunch or walk through the park when the weather gets better. Whatever you want” he shrugged, you smiled at the level of effort he was so clearly trying to give. Adam hated stuff like that, lunches out and walks in the park; he often said how trivial it all seemed to him. He liked to be at home in his own little world. So the fact he was offering to make you feel better was more than enough to bring a smile to your face. You nodded and giggled when he pumped the air with his fist in celebration.

“And you know, if you need someone to come with you to therapy or whatever I can do that too” he mumbled clearly unsure how you would respond, “You still go to therapy right? I know you mentioned it a while ago and I figured-“ he began to ramble nervously. You pressed your hand into his chest and nodded.

You pushed yourself up a little and placed a kiss to his cheek, “That would help, thank you”

He shuffled a little and rose to get to his feet before extending a hand out to you. You clasped your hand across his, so much smaller in his grasp, and used his body weight to pull yourself up on unsteady legs. He wrapped his arms around you a little bit, his body hunched over yours protectively.

“But first, you need food… and a shower” he paused for a moment, making small grunt-like thinking noises as he looked you over. Then all at once he dipped and gathered you up in his arms, you squealed loudly and wrapped your arms around his neck “What are you doing?” you protested through unsure giggles.

He didn’t say anything but started walking towards your bathroom. He kicked the door open with the toe of his boot and swung his arms so that your head just missed the door frame. He propped you, sitting upright, on the edge of your bathtub before reaching up and turning on your shower. He gestured for you to stand as the water began heating up behind you. Soft clouds of steam quickly started to rise up around the room and he nodded with satisfaction. He tentatively tugged at the base of your oversized-hoodie and you raised your arms above your head. He slipped your hoodie off in one swift motion and dropped it to the floor beside you both. You self-consciously crossed your arms over your now bare chest and he smiled down at you. He placed a kiss to your forehead before kneeling down to wriggle your panties off your hips and down your legs. You shuffled shyly, despite the fact he’d seen you naked so very many times, and stepped out of them as he reached your ankles. He tossed them on top of your hoodie, placing a tender kiss to your stomach as he knelt in front of you, before standing back up to his full height “I’ll get you fresh stuff and wash those” he noted, almost to himself as he spun you by your shoulders so you had your back to him. “You get in there” he pointed to the steady stream of hot water creating billows of steam in the small bathroom, “And I’m going to make you some soup, you still have cans of that chicken one you like?” You nodded once and he placed a firm kiss to your shoulder. With his hands on your waist he placed a final kiss to the top of your head before his touch left you completely. You smiled at his constant need to show you physical care, it was like he understood how even simple affection could heal even the worst of the pain your brain could throw at you. You turned to look over your shoulder as he left the room; like he sensed your hesitation he stopped and turned to look at you with a sweet smile…

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll stay with you as long as you need me too”

[muffindaddystyles]

KISMETS (Part 3)

Harry Styles x Preggs Fem!Reader.

Frenmies to lovers to parents, Dadthon!!H

Oral Smut, dirty talk and teasing.

Angst! Angst and fluff!! N' tooth rotting fluff.

Dadrry, bestie!h, boyfriend!h

Author's Note: The concept's kinda weird but if you've watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Phoebe Buffay carrying child for someone. You've got it my pal!

MASTERLIST PART 1 PART 2 LETS TALK/ ASK

The morning light cocoons them with softness and they don't care if they're sitting in a pool of blood.

"I love you too, so much." She hiccups pacifying down not wanting to never be to able say them again as Harry runs a hand at her back, limbs still tangled with eachother, whispering sweet things to her while Miss. Dori pulled her placenta out, "Y/N?" He panics when she dulls in his arms head lulling at his shoulder and heartbeat slowing down to feeble line. Gently pulling his face out from the cave of her neck he pats her cheek worriedly, again, at her unconscious state, her head dangling back over his wrist, "Y/N!?" His heart squeezing tight miserably into his ribcages when she doesn't respond to his calls.

Or

Harry and Y/N are back being to besties and enjoying being pregnant together.

Warning: Mentions of blood, pregnancy trauma and natural childbirth hurdles.

//

Eyes gives it all. Even the hidden treasures get's looted from the mere mistake of someone's gaze just like right now when he's pretending to be confused as ever, "what? Called her myself . . ." He frowns and she sniffs frozen in her position feeling exposed from the vulnerability of being naked infront of him; tries to cover herself criss-crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why'd you d'that?" She hiccups wiping her blushed nose and his pupils bursts wide into realization. Immediately, cradles her face tenderly stroking the apple of her cheeks shaking his head vigorously, "Oh -— no. no. no baby told her to come over to take her leftover stuff if not I better give it to charity."

"O . . okay." She sucks in a breather. Without a word he removes hers arms away in a gesture that you never need to hide from me. Kisses her shoulder blade stroking her wrists and her pulse in circles.

"Don't cry, lil penguin. Why're ye' cryin'?" He asks in his most gentle voice feathering her cheek with the back of his hand, "'m . . . 'm scared." She tries to recoup her cries holding her breath causing her cheeks to puff like a fish.

"Let's get you cleaned warm and nice. Then we'll talk yeah lovie?" He slides her elbows behind his neck holding her strongly to walk them to his bedroom. Gives her a bath full of vanilla bubbles, essential oils, scrubbed her back and would trail kisses up her belly from under water making her giggle and weave her fingers into his own wet curls.

Him loving all three of them's the most adorable thing.

Got her ready for mid-nap with his sweater and boxers putting fur pads atop her ears, aloe fused socks on her feet and turning the heat a bit to sleepy temperature. Tucks a quilt under their chins and snuggles her closer to himself letting herself calm to his heartbeats before she speaks her heart out to him, "wanna talk? What you're scared of babe tell me all of it. Knows that I'll handle." He slips further into bed bringing her thigh around his torso and her head atop his buff chest.

She exhales loudly trying to subside the emotional feeling of crying along with each word that comes out of her mouth. Her bad habbit of grounding everything to the pit of her stomach until it blasts into a massive destruction always gets her into worst scenarios.

"'M worried about alot of things –- actually." She peeks up at him and he's already looking down at her genuinely with relaxed self to let her know that nothing has changes and he's still her bestfriend who'd wait for her till she manages to speak, "about what?" He encourages her petting down her hair.

"Everything like 'like future . . 'n — me being a good mum after all of that 'm uni too. . . the semester would start right after the month of my delivery." She furls her toes to keep her anxiety at bay level cocooning her womb cause she feels the safest with the assurement of her babies being with her, "about my career and what about me dreams? What if I'll never get to chase 'em?" He listens to her diligently boring his gaze to the way her lips mold with each word. Sighs gently rubbing her arms up and down salutating his palm around the side of her neck to tip her face towards him. His lips lingers at her temple murmuring against it, "Together we're gonna do this."

"You're gonna be the kindest and bestest mommy ever Y/N. I belive in ye' and about your dreams. I'll take care that nothing comes in the way to stop ya . . You'll attend UNI same as before 'cause 'm takin' a break to be with our babies till your done with your degree." He declares to her seriously and honestly running his hand all over her spine to assure her in every way possible, locking his ankles with her under the sheets.

"'M a big boy now! A daddy to two babies don't underestimate me miss gremlin!" He grins impishly smushing his cheeks into her side wide spreading his palm atop her tummy warmly with bare fingers, "'kay gotcha!" She giggles cuddling into him with droopy eyes inhaling the same scent she's lathered in from the sweet spot of his neck.

//

She wakes up in the evening satisfied and happy with the nap marks, sweaty baby hairs, a bit of drool at the corner of her mouth and Harry already awake but still spooning her. He's her pregnancy pillow.

Covers her mouth with his pinky and ring finger when she yawns cutely stretching beneath him slowly blinking. Proper stops with his intense loving gaze still on her and blushes hard when he pecks her dry lips after sleep. Her chest heaves with his kisses and snogs trailing down between the valley of her breasts making her card her fingers through his chocolate curls. Whimpers ever hoarsely raising her hips in air for some friction and to levitate the throb in between her legs asking for him to release the ache away.

He takes the hint scooching closer to her side nudging her knees wide stroking the flesh of her thighs with tickling pinches. She whines fisting sheets with yearning arch of her back, "insatiable lil thing aren't ya?" He gives a toothy grin wetting his lips making her pause in her heave of getting his fingers instead flickering her vision over his candy plush lips.

"Kiss me?" She whispers and how couldn't he when she's looking this soft, warm and full of blush from the nap. He was litreally nutters for not ever pondering over the thought how alluring and attractiveness her satiny features hold, "'course darlin'." He tips her chin towards himself letting her sweet cushiony lips fuse against his's into an ardent kiss shooting her libidos 100 times higher than before making her moan pathetically into his mouth.

Her forearms winding around his shoulders instinctively and exhales through her nose not pulling away from the kiss and squeaks lowly when he bites her lower lip pulling away, "'ve got asthma y'mad mad woman." He gapes down at her dramatically fiddling with the bow of her panties. They skim down to her mound feeling the slickness that has spread all around and the rough trim of hair, "and I've got an extravagant sex drive!" It whisks into a breathy gasp of dense air when he slid his digits in between her slick folds flickering her swollen clitoris and repeating till she's panting for more.

"Sad innit? 'S me fault. I should be the one to help my girl out." He mutters trailing sweet kisses down her swollen belly to her pelvis snapping the elastic with his teeth causing her to jolt under his firm hold. She's too floaty else the statement of him claiming her would have swiped her away into a paradise of never ending imaginations.

"Mhmp. What did ya had fo' lunch lovie'?" He licks her juices off from the inside of her thighs sending intense quivers to her core. His palms smoothes under her thighs to hike them up and over his shoulders nipping at her skin when all she did was responded with a gasp, "d- dunno forgot . ." He perks his brows to his forehead commenting playfully while dipping down to tickle her with his curls.

"Pregnancy made ye' loose your braincells, moppet?" She raises her hand to smack him at head instead tugs his hair when for finally he flattens his tongue thickly against her wet cunt to give a good mind boggling lick sucking her clitoris in the way, "asshole. . ." She moans squirming like leaf under him but he quites her by taking her sensitive nub between his teeth to give a little graze and pull. It makes her pussy lips flutter and her hole leak with so much wetness it sticks to Harry's chin.

"H – ha . . rry. Harry." She tries to grind her hips against his mouth but he tuts brushing his pads around her dripping hole to tease her, "yes baby?" Groans of annoyance fills the room and she shoves her face into the pillow bitting down the snarky insults thrown at the curly head.

"Not gonna give ye' me fingers till you ask fo' it." He smooches wet filthy kisses letting her stickiness coat his lips stirring a ball of fire in her pit, "shut up." She whines nudging him with her knee telling him to do something to relax her.

"Make me." He smirks tilting his head to suck her petal fold creating dirty seductive noises on purpose. She huffs taking the matters into her hands pulling him up towards her by a hard grip onto his hair, "ouch ouch!!" He quips shutting his eyes tight.

"Harry Styles you make me cum or I'm never letting you fuck me ever." She glares him and he gives out a defeated sigh naughtiness still lurking in his moss of irises, "bossy – kay! Sorry! Was kiddin' babe. 'M all here to please ye'." She nods her head curtly shoving him back down and he giggles at her when in an instant from an angry lil penguin she melted into a mush of gooe when Harry thrusted two fingers at once inside her curving them once they were buried snug deep.

"Yes. Yes. Yes." She gasps moving her hips along him that he stayed in his place eating her out while his fingers pushed in and out of her tight pussy with squelching noises, "fuckin' tight urghh." He grits rubbing her clit into harsh circles with his other hand, mouth on her cunt and fingers fucking her continuously.

"Want more?" He asks and she bobs her head not even processing what he said almost loosing the idea of her presence feeling too much ecastasy and over the clouds, "here take as much as ye' want baby." He slips another third finger admiring the way her pussy stretches swallowing his fingers, "'m gonna lick your little wet cunt off then clean it with me filthy tongue to make a mess of ye' all over again filling you full with me cock. Sounds good baby?" He knows she's the shy lil bean and his sweet enthusiastic words of vulgarism heats her up enough.

"Gonna come. Harry --" She tips her head down and back in air eyes rolling into her sockets. Harry rubs her outer thighs soothing her thrashing body, "shhh baby relax. You can cum on me fingers." She obliges him softening in his arms and her pussy makes soppy noises gushing with each wave of pleasure throbbing around his digits while he works her out to make her feel as giddy as he could, "That's it baby girl. That's it cum fo' me again?" He prods at the sponge of bump inside her seething through her twitching walls making it impossible for him to pull out and tent his cock against the bed leaving a spot of how turned on he's at the moment.

But, his first-most priority is her. It always was her maybe more than Chessie

"Happy my lil lioness?" He comes back on top of her arms digged on either side of her temple and she tries to squint from one eye pulling him to herself planting a rewarding kiss at his cheek, "how 'bout a pizza from Tommy's place?" He lays ontop of her (like half ontop of her and half on his side; just to share her warmth).

"Can I have an extra topping of olives, pretttyy pleaseee?" She makes a weird funny face to convince him, "but you're allergic to 'em." He frowns sitting up thumb hovering over the contacts popping on the screen. He has everything memorized she's allergic to; it's not much peanuts, olives and clay dough ( she claims that she ate it once when she was possibly 5 and it swelled her flesh up ) not that she's gonna nip at it now but Harry couldn't trust her cravings at all.

"But 'm craving them sooo baddd." She clutches the hem of his tattered shirt pouting but he retorts with the shake of his head intervining their fingers together to kiss her knuckles, "Nope moppet. We don't need another hospital visit at fou' in the morning like last time, do we?" She remembers it. A very angry Chessie at his doorsteps while he helped her walk inside this home post hospital visit.

"I hate this." She huffs folding her arms against her chest, "I know. How about we delay getting y'sick once babies are out?"

"You kidding?" Her mouth slacks turning into a widespread grin at last, "absolutely not. Pizza without olives yeah?" He smacks a kiss against her open mouth loudly before his phones rings at the pizza place.

//

Harry's the busy bee. From grocery shopping to making the list of all the organic food he needs to line up his pantry with, he took everything's responsibility on himself. Cause mama has a huge duty for wrapping two babies in her womb safe and heated. Even when she tries to bend down to put a plate in dishwasher he skates near her supporting her back and scolding her, "all you've t'do is eat and nap. Dunno fucks count 'cause we fuck alot — chill sweet baby. 'switch onto telly 'm bringing banana milk and cookies." She pouts because she doesn't want to be a burden on him. She wants to suspect any tiredness from his features — the way he's been on his trippy toes for her from eight and half months but how much she tries she couldn't instead he looks way more giggly and joyful than before with never ending dad jokes and teasing bum pats.

They indeed fuck alot. Harry loves that she's always sleepy and clingy — he thinks he's truly, deeply and madly in love with his lil penguin but they're in the middle of train's track whose destination is atlast confession of love but he wants to wait. He can't wait though. He's always been impatient and light from stomach can't sleep at night without sharing a word of his swimming thought with anyone. He shared it with Nialler, it was at three in the morning after Y/N sucked his cock dry with so much admiration for his prick he was bout to cry and blurt out but he didn't. Cuddled with her and oreo practically on his face then ringed his lad startling him up, "why did ya wake me up fo' something we all already know Harold? Do I've to teach ya lessons cause now that would be a shame to your kiddos." He grunted dropping the call leaving Harry baffled and alone to his thoughts again.

"Sweet angel . . " He cooes jarring the door to his room with his foot. She has moved in to his house, from guest room to his room and his heart. Told him she didn't like sleeping alone and gets the most amazing slumber squished up against his chest in his arms. He was ardent that she completes him. He's right. She does. Always had but this time it's till they're getting old and wrinkly.

Lilac walls glow from the telly's illumination and the flicker of light from their open wardrobe. His ears perks at a repulsive groan and his brows dips to tune into the situation, "what are ye' doin', pet?" He asks confused at the sight of Y/N in a funny position with a razor in her hand standing in the middle of their wardrobe trying to duck and see through her huge bump.

"'M tryin' to shave me legs — seems impossible though." She throws her head back to convey her annoyance and Harry chuckles placing the banana milk and the plate of dark chocolate cookies atop the drawer island taking her wrist which's holding onto the razor, "you don't 'ave to it's just a maternity shoot –- no biggie, moppet." She huffs. Their faces at level and intimately close to have a good stare in eachother's eyes.

"No biggie!? it's the first time I'll get to have someone take me pictures, all, personally fo' me." Her smile pouty as she tries not to break her disgruntled facade down.

"How 'bout the times, I was a victim of ye'r endless pictures taking sessions?" He squints down at her. Hands out of instinct fumbling by her sides to feel her warmth on his skin, "you were sooo shittt at that job."

"Kay, kay then, lemme just –- hand this razor, I'll shave ye'r legs pretty girl." Happily she shoves it in his grip while he knees down hiking her leg ontop of his knee. His pink tongue popping out in concentration. She trusts him in this because last time he was the one to shave herdown there. Taking a sip of her banana milk she taps the straw against his lips speaking, "a bestie in need is a bestie indeed." With his eyes on her ankle and his pretty hands which could make her come infinite times right now working so diligently, He gives her a high five taking a sip himself.

She breaks a cookie forwarding it to Harry and he looks up — so being all dramatic she acts shy and blushy turning her gaze away in a swift, "what baby?" He laughs putting her other foot on his knee his grip tight around her ankle.

"Don't stare at me calves like that you creep." He wipes away the crumbs from his lips giggling and making her giggle, "I've literally shaved your cooch days before." She jabs her big-toe against his nipple getting a high pitched squeak from a grown ass man in return.

"I hate you!" She says through the spurt of chuckles and his response in return turned both of them silent, "I know ye' love me." Their cheeks blazed. Eyes twinkling. Hearts doing lil dance dance but nobody from them tries to break the comforting silence knowing they'd word vomit the instant they'd.

They say "I love you." And "love you." in their normal routines without making it a mess of shyness. But the butterflies at that specific moment when the epiphany dawns on the pair that they really are in love with eachother makes their tummies float in void with butterflies.

"All done!" He announces enthusiastically kissing her knee like she's a princess in distress and the words burns at the plush of her lips, "love you."

"You too, lil penguin." He smiles boyishly.

"Oh fuck, I forgot we're gonna have shoot in our pyjamas." She yells in a low hum and he rolls his eyes slapping her ass, "rotten you're."

"Oopsies."

//

A maternity shoot in their back garden along oreo never seemed this fun when they were gushing about it days prior. Nialler gifted them cute baby pink coloured matching pyjamas with yellow peaches pattern, mommy and daddy embroidered on them. They even matched some fluffy kitten hats too!! A pair of yellow and pink with kitten ears with goggly eyes, big cheshire that of Oreo.

Their close friend Onna was all up for the shoot and nothing's more adorable than Harry's soft hands around Y/N's belly in a protective way, while they sat on the fluffy growing grass and cotton flowers. Her back resting against his taught chest, his legs wrapped on either side of her and oreo almost stretching atop her bump quenching loud belly ache laughs from them.

"Two pictures 'n 'm already tiredd, pff." She gasps shuffling a little to activate her sore bum and Harry pecks her shoulder cutely, "some more 'cause you'll grump later." Onna captures each every second of their tooth rotting interaction.

"Oi. I'll not!!" To avoid a banter Harry taps her chin pointing towards the camera speaking, "last one doll, one to show that we really are pregnant." Onna's laughing at their techniques. Shaking her head with each shot of overloaded sweetness she traps in her camera.

"I. Am. Indeed. Pregnant. Pet." She looks down with wide eyes rubbing her prodding tummy in circles, the top button litreally about to pop and Harry's face adorns with a naughty grin showing his bunny teeth, "Me too!!" He squeals rubbing his moth covered belly the same way she's doing and it sent both girls into fits of laughters.

"Sillllyyyyy." She sing-songs throwing an arm around the nape of his neck to bring him closer and smooch a loving kiss to his cheek, "you're gonna be the best dad." She whispers eyes closing into the diameter of his scent and he rests his lips against her forehead. Onna having a smile of adoration for her friends while she did her job, laying down to capture this one beautifully.

"Yeah?" His voice just audible to them. "Uhmm." She nods fiddling with the collar of his pyjamas and their bubbles pops when oreo tugs at Y/N's top revealing her graceful babies bump.

"You batty creature!!" She tries to grab oreo to smoosh her in her arms but oreo gallops miles away before it could happen.

//

The whole last night Y/N couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning with whines of complaints to a snoring Harry on her side. When Harry woke up she was already staring him like an owl scaring the poor thing, cause it wasn't a loving one. It was a proper creeping stare with baggy eyes and pouty lips, "can we have 'em out already?" She snuggles into his throat and he massages her head.

"In a week." He grogs out stroking his cheek against her's, "Have ya taken out all the required papers?" He asks her and she nods with a yawn. Today's the enrollment day for Y/N's next semester -- Harry will go to her UNI to talk to the administration instead of her.

"I'll be back in no time, till then try havin' a good rest, want some donughts from that one shop near ye'r UNI?" He thumbs at her baby locks. She shakes her head murmuring into his flimsy sweat shirt, "not feeling like it." Dunno what happened. She was alright after for finally her sickness went away but today she feels like shit because of her Braxton hicks climbing to painful peak.

Kissing her head last time he untangles himself to get ready and she watches him buttoning up his cuffs with his curl dangling over his eyes, he's looking handsome and a bit too out of her league with the crisp white shirt and chequered trousers.

He squats down pecking her lips. Her nostrils filling with cinnamon ocean-y smell soothing the tick of her nerves. Her body reacting to even the air pricking at her skin, "don't miss me too much, lil penguin." He gives her an eskimo kiss knowing she's feeling down and tired today the way she has her face squished into pillow and isn't trying even to cup his cheeks like she does everytime he leaves for something.

He puts her phone on the nightstand tugging her under the sheets, switching off the lamp and slowly exists the room not to disturb her. She doesn't know when he leaves but the pin-drop silence tells it all and she's half conscious half awake with fluttering eyelids.

She turns on her back with a groan to get rid of the dull ache in her pelvis and outer thighs — but then she feels something . . . . something wet between down there and it makes her snap open her eyes blinking blankly at the ceiling. Tries not to think of bad scenarios but it's otherwise.

"Holy cow of jesus." She fists the pillow under her sitting up with much difficulty and to her worst horrors the sheets are sploched badly. She stands up with her spine almost bending in two — staying calm and positive even when a heavy gush of water trickles down her legs soaking the rug. It has nothing attractive in it as they show in movies but rather feels like a dam leaking and a litreal adult peeing in their gowns.

She snatches the phone from nightstand putting a firm arm beneath her belly walking out of room, her maternity floral white gown clinging to her skin. A tinge of shock weaved through her bones but that didn't made her loose her balance. She wants to throw the phone against the wall when the line always beeps busy, "already missin — " his honey of voice bringing tears in her eyes.

"Get your ass back home!! Right fuckin' now!" She yells into speaker trudging forward with carefull steps. He pushes onto breaks hard, panicking into his seat, "What happened!?" He's quick in turning gears speeding back home. Her lips wobbles blue from pain and the unbearable throb between her thighs. Words struck in her throat as she tries to speak gripping the globe of stair railing leaning against it when a hard contraction striked against her spine.

"'M going into labour — " Harry's heart falls into his arse. His vision blurring from the intensity of the moment and he's thanking Gods for being five minute drive away from home. How many times they prepared for this time it all went in vain and now Harry's beating himself for leaving her side at all, "'m comin' home, it's okay baby, it's okay breath." His lips stammers from an invisible fear and fingers twitches around the wheel.

Wanted to shout at him "breath, my ass." Instead She gasps loudly in fright when she feels her cervix dilating to the maximum point and it did the last fireworks for her tears, "no, no, noo!!"

"'M giving birth!!" She shouts kissing her teeth together to keep the pain at the bay hooking a thumb into her panties, scrunching her dress up to press them under her armpits and squatting down with the heels of her palms pressed with so much strength over the last stair case, "what? oh my — 'm calling our midwife." She can feel a head trying to force it's way out from her vagina and it rakes out a sob from her chest.

"Please be gentle with mommy, 'm coming." Harry says and it comes out as a weak whisper while he drives sitting on the edge of the seat and Y/N's ears are ringing with white noise to even pay attention to what he's saying. Her gown drenching with sweat and she screamed at the top of her lungs pushing with her all might scaring a sleepy oreo in her bassinet, "Shit." He mutters tugging his curls back immediately calling their midwife. He wishes his babies could atleast wait for him to be there with their momma.

"Miss. Dori !! Y/N has gone into labour, 'm out, dunno —---" There's loud urgent shuffling on her side that of picking stuff and closing metal boxes as she assures Harry with firmness, "I'll be there in just 10 minutes, till then reach there as quick as possible. She needs you Mr. Styles." It collects sweat at the dip of his spine sky rocketing his anxiety. His breath elevating at the sight of his society's gate and if it was possible he'd have flown to her.

Parking hastily on the side of road and leaving his car's door open — dishelved he steps outside almost falling square on his face while the old couple that use to sit at their porch in mornings watch him with concern, "Is everythin' alright son?"

They ask and Harry nods yelling to them, "Y/N is in labour!!" His face blowing out of any color when his ears fills with painful screams of his lil penguin and his fingers jumbles with keys unlocking the door.

It's surreal. The realization not completely setting in that all of this's happening right at this moment, that he's going to be a daddy in some hours, Y/N hunched over the bottom stair squatting down with thighs wide apart and her gown soaked against her back. His breath knocks out of his lungs and eyes bursts into shock when he sees his baby's head pushing it's way out in between her legs.

"I can see it's head! I can see it's head oh m'godness." He announces rushing towards her and Miss. Dori guides him, "Harry help her pull it out, cup the baby's head and if it's shoulders are grab-able, have it out." He places the phone atop the stair sitting down beside Y/N kissing the side of her head quickly wiping her tears away.

"Hi baby, it'll be alright, 'm here now let's pull our bubba out mighty quick." He presses his chest to floor to look down there and if Y/N would have been in her good state of mind she'd have butt him in not to. His brows kinks tightly together as he tries to concentrate and not to pass out from the sight of blood and his blood covered infant half hanging in it's mother's v.

Gently he wraps his shivering palm around it's head and shoulder moreso figuring out if it could itself comes out, "push a bit more, moppet." She shakes her head furiously crying and trying with all her will, "It's hurts!!" He wishes the process wasn't that painful.

"I know, I know baby —- oh okay okay! We got him." He cackles through his worry taking him all out and in his arms having a good grip around it's tiny waist fearing it would slip. Y/N takes a huge sigh of relief muscles loosening and shoulders slumping. She could hear him sniffing close to her with little noises despite of how much she wants to hug him, she still has another one to bring out in the world.

"It's Elios." He grins with ablazed glossy eyes stroking his tweeny baby hair back. Though his excitement shatters into pieces as he cries to Miss. Dori, "He's not breathin, n'--not breathin' what do I do??" He has switched into his fight and flight mode. Fat tears spilling down his cheeks. Y/N wants to have him in her arms and make sure her baby's healthy but a hard contraction makes her bones jello with her another baby trying to pop out.

"Calm down Mr. Styles, Is his cord wrapped 'round his neck?" When Harry couldn't mutter a single word just shaking his head ear to ear staring down his little one with fear and sadness, Y/N screams for him, "No!!"

"It's nothin', clean his nose, it's probably some clotting blocking his breathing passage." Harry acts on her instruction without wasting a time and the threshold's walls bounced with prattle of his low coarse cries, "Oh my god!!" Harry gasps holding his baby boy closer to his chest not giving two fucks if his shirt and skin stains with thick blood.

In the meantime Miss. Dori and her assistant nurse tramps through their door. Cutting the cord Nurse takes Elios from Harry's arms and takes him for a cleanup as Harry leads her to their nursery. When he comes back Miss. Dori has their other bubba already out and it's worth watching him flying into clouds of paradise, full of glee, happiness, so much happiness has never experienced before.

"Hi. Victoria." He keeps his voice soft if she's a chinese porcelain doll and would break in his arms. He loves his son to core but the way his heart just swirled with fondness and love for his daughter the second she was layed into his embrace was something else. He's tender with her and from just gazing her it spurt out a sob from the deepest of his tummy, "she was so stubborn to come out rather than his brother." Miss. Dori tells him and his head perks up with proud adoration. Handing her to nurse he turns his gaze back to his exhausted lil penguin leaning against the wall now. And scoots closer to his bestfriend, the love of his life and the mother of his babies.

Hugging her warmly and affectionately, winding his arm around the nape of her neck to smoosh her into his chest while she cries against his throat. Being tender and the softest yet sweetest he could be with her, pressing his lips against her ear to whisper words that made her cry even more loudly into his bicep, "I love you, I love you more than anythin' in the world, 'm s' soo proud of ye' baby, me soulmate and the love of me life. I promise to love you forever and infinity." The world blurs around them and their heartbeats latches to sync in with eachother. The morning light cocoons them with softness and they don't care if they're sitting in a pool of blood, mess of the beautiful birth of their gorgeous twins.

"I love you too, so much." She hiccups pacifying down not wanting to never be able say them again as Harry runs a hand at her back, limbs still tangled with eachother, whispering sweet things to her while Miss. Dori pulled her placenta out, "Y/N?" He panics when she dulls in his arms head lulling at his shoulder and heartbeat slowing down to feeble a line. Gently pulling his face out from the cave of her neck he pats her cheek worriedly, again, at her unconscious state, her head dangling back over his wrist, "Y/N!?" His heart squeezing tight miserably into his ribcages when she doesn't respond to his calls.

"'M listenin', pet." She whispers smiling weakly and Harry's lungs nourishes with air, "Scared me baby love." He hugs her again with a wobbling pout and this time she tries to console him.

"Y'okay baby? Should we go to hospital? It's better if —--"

"'M okay!!" She simpers kissing the dip of his collarbone. Carefully he smoothes an arm down her back and knees picking her up bridal style to take her to their bathroom for a hot nice bath full of essential oils. He caress her face, trailing his knuckles down her cheeks, gazing her fondly while sitting down on the floor beside her with his one hand inside the warm water to lull around her calves.

"I love you, you've given me such beautiful babies. 'Ave ye seen Tori ? She's a proper you, that lil bunny mouth of yours, aish." He giggles and she squeezes his fingers in a silent gesture to tell him how happy she's. Drying her clean with a towel and moisturizing her body, making her wear her comfortable gown.

When he tucks her under sheets she babbles with droopy eyelids and tired body, "can I see my babies?" He smauches a kiss against her forehead, "After a teeny rest, yeah angel?" But, she was already out like a bulb making him chuckle softly.

//

Miss. Dori left the kind nurse behind with them till Y/N wakes up and with her help Harry lays down the twins on either side of their mommy. Deeply pondering how lucky he's to have his family completed and healthy, tucked into their mother's armpits.

He giggles and holds his breath in awe when Elio wriggles in his blanket, scootes his bum closer when Y/N yawns and stretches, "how ye' feelin'?" He brushes her loose tresses back and she nods attempting to sit up.

"Good." Thanking him when he gets comfy amount of pillows behind her, "wanna hold them?" He asks as she ducks down to kiss both of their soft skins.

"'M arms are still shakin' . ." She chuckles, "no biggie, I'll help ya out, a bestie in need is a bestie indeed." She giggles loudly startling Tori and Harry hushes her comically scooching behind her embracing her in a heated wrap from behind chin resting over her shoulder, "shh, gotta be quite with this one — such a light sleeper bub."

"This's Victoria Anne Styles and Elios Vincent Styles." He supports her one forearm with his's under: giving Elio to her and having Tori in his other, "are you presenting them to me as some kind of award for my bravery, pet?" She nudges him playfully and he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Such nice awards, innit?" He gives her an eskimo kiss and she puckers her lips asking for a loving smooch of his candy lips, "absolutely."

//

They took their first nap together with Harry and Y/N on either side of bed with their babies in the middle of their warmth just like a nest of sparrows, safe, comfy and utterly snuggly with the couple protecting their dainty creatures of soft flesh from the storms of outside.

"C'mere baby . . " Harry usheres Oreo with the snap of his thumb as she tries to canoodle into the soles of his feet tickling him and she obliges his tone, "Good girl . ." His own voice tired petting her crown when she turns into a lil ball of fur beside Tori who's sleeping at her daddy's side, being ever hesitant and carefull with them making Harry smile at her thinking of giving her treats in dinner.

He almost slips from under the sheets when a shriek of cry jolts him awake and it's Tori crying loudly thrashing under the blanket while her brother kept on sleeping stretched over his mommy's chest, head tucked under her chin.

Ah! Here comes the real deal. Daddy Harry's about to face real challenges 'cause we all know he once promised that he's a big boy now, innit?

[bogkeep]

ohhh my god i got such wonky sleep tonight which is not desireable after having to get up at 6am three days in a row, why is this happening to me????? here's my THEORIES: - nervous about web test i need to take that might determine the outcome of my future, that is going to be TIMED and presumably in SWEDISH - nervous about my next consultation with trans clinic tomorrow morning (MY LAST ONE WAS IN NOVEMBER. NOVEMBER), another thing that might Determine The Outcome Of My Future and also the current state of trans healthcare in norway is just straight up depressing so whoop de fucking doo - i went to bed early on monday which apparently caused everyone else to have shit sleep that night and now the curse has turned on me

i posted a new fanfic right before bed because apparently i Write Fanfics Now I'm Having Fun and my brain gremlins kept pinging the "CHECK IF THERE'S A NEW COMMENT" central every five minutes. shut up shut up there will be MORE comments if we GO TO SLEEP

the collab my friend has been working on will be unleashed Tomorrow and i am unbelievably excited for it

General Anxiety over what my future is going to be because i have no idea right now, i don't want to jinx it by talking about my plans but i'm quitting my job and moving in the next couple months, and i'm so relieved about quitting my job because uhhh i think working at a hotel through an entire pandemic has done unspeakable things to my psyche, but also i've gotten quite competent at my job which is very noticeable when almost all of my other coworkers have quit recently and i am thanklessly preventing a myriad of problems every single day just by predicting everything that might go wrong and how,, guys i think my autism is anxiety coded. i thinkn i have anxiety problems

minute difference in air pressure because the local weather these days is "yes" and i am a sensitive contraption

????????

profit

[ura-writes]

Trampolinist - Part Two

Part summary: You encounter a few strange teenagers, discover blown-up ruins, and find out about who caused them.

Warnings: mild anxiety, thoughts of murder, blood, threats, lots of swears

A/N - I got a good few requests asking for a taglist for Trampolinist, so here it is! Just ask and you shall be added!

@lemonmochitea

@dad-ee-drea

@victoria-a567

Also, this is non-canon compliant, but only by a bit. I may change a few small details.

Hope y’all enjoy!

(Also, if you can find the movie reference I put in here, then kudos to you!)

——

A lingering curiosity sits in the back of your head for the rest of the week, not quelled by any amount of Bedwars or Skywars, which leave you exhausted in the evenings.

Even your dreams hold inquisitiveness.

How lovely.

Eventually you have to go back to your home world to check on your animals, repair your tools and the like. It’s tedious work, but nothing you can’t handle.

Boredom eventually sets in.

It’s unnerving. You never get bored of combat, of competition between your fellow players and teammates, but here you are, eyeing the list of servers on your grid.

Only two people are on the server at the moment, their names not available for whatever reason. You’d prefer to pop on when there were no people online, mostly to scope out the server, but you’ll take only having to deal with two people.

Hopefully they’re adults and not kids that recently learned to use portals.

You stick your pointer finger out, curl it like you’re dragging it down a wall; a ripple starts where your finger lands, slowly following its path downwards. It rips a hole through the fabric of woven servers, creating a direct link to the Dream SMP. You just hope that no one attempts to close the portal, as opening one in the first place takes a good deal of energy and effort.

A sight of spruce trees and misplaced dirt greets your vision through the rip in reality.

An odd spawnpoint, but whatever. You’re not one to judge.

In the corner of your eye, where chat normally sits, a message pops up.

TommyInnit: who the fcuck

TommyInnit: what

TommyInnit: NEWY PERFHSAON

Ranboo: ah yes, perfhsaon

TommyInnit: shut the fuck n up

You chuckle at the messages rapidly crowding the chat, watching them fade idly while trying to find a way out of the really weird spawnpoint, which is, for some reason, walled off by a combination of dirt, wood and stone haphazardly placed down, as if in a hurry.

Your efforts do not go unrewarded as you spot a section of the wall that sits lower than the rest, low enough to climb over if you try hard enough.

Perfect.

Feet hit the ground rapidly as you get a running start towards the wall, scrambling upward after you jump. You fall almost immediately off the other side.

“Ouch.”

“That looked like that hurt.”

You glance upward to meet heterochromic eyes, red and green contrasting with the curious face split in half by its black and white sides. A tail flicks behind the person as their crown slips a bit down their head.

“Wh—the fuck?”

The figure laughs at your reaction, offering a gloved hand out to help you off the ground. Hesitantly, you accept, being pulled up easily, and that’s when you realize that he’s a lot taller than you thought.

“Jesus, you’re tall,” you comment idly, brushing yourself off. “Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem. I’m Ranboo.”

You introduce yourself with your tag, which elicits a hum of recognition from him, much to your pleasant shock and surprise.

“You’re the person that Dream invited, aren’t you?”

“In the flesh.”

He laughs at your quip at him, smiling with sharp fangs exposed to the midday sunlight. No point in judging a person on their (potentially, anyway) monstrous features.

“Well, you probably need a tour—“

He’s quickly interrupted by a loud “hey!”

“Oh great,” you mutter, crossing your arms. Ranboo looks a bit sheepish at your cocked eyebrow and slightly irritated expression, scratching his bi-colored hair.

“That’s Tommy. He’s uh… well, Tommy.”

A teenager wearing a red and white shirt and jeans with battered sneakers comes sprinting out of the nearby forest, coming to a halt just in front of you.

“New person!”

“Yeah, and what are you, the gremlin that got fed after midnight?”

The kid sputters out a few protests against being called a gremlin, sprinkling a good few swears in his jumbled sentences that mostly consist of rambles.

When Tommy gets his bearings, he eyes your tag, squinting at it suspiciously before his eyes widen in recognition.

“You’re the bastard that beat the shit out of me in Bedwars! Get ove’ here—“

One of Ranboo’s arms shoots out to grab the lanky teenager with ease to stop his potential assault on you. You just brush your nails off on your shirt.

“Oi! Lemme a’em!”

“No, Tommy, remember what Tubbo said?” Ranboo lectures, tail flicking in annoyance, eyes trained on him. “Remember?”

“You’re one to talk about rememberin’.”

Ranboo cocks an eyebrow.

“No punchin’ people we don’t know unless they’ve hurt us…” Tommy grumbles. “Can ya lemme go now?”

Ranboo agrees, letting go of his shirt and summoning a journal and quill to write something down in, muttering that he’s almost out of ink.

“Anyway, how about that tour now?”

You smile at him.

Maybe you’ll like this place.

——

“...and this is L’Manburg… or what’s left of it, anyway. It’s still being rebuilt.”

“How’d it get destroyed?” you ask him. “It takes a lot of TNT, Withers and dedication to destroy a city this big.”

I should know.

Tommy eyes Ranboo.

“Hey, it’s your city. I’m not explaining it,” Ranboo defends against the wordless accusation. Tommy exhales with a groan and begins his explanation.

“Wil-Wilbur, my brother, went a bit insane a few months back, blew it all up with Technoblade’s help. Wil’s… well, he’s dead.” Tommy sounds indifferent about the death, much to your surprise.

You nod absentmindedly, setting your eyes on a slightly obscured poster that flaps in the wind. When you get close enough to pin it down it reads:

Wanted: Dead or Alive. High Treason, Inciting Violence, Unlawful Use of Explosives, Extreme Terrorism.

Reward: See Authorities

Below that is a well-painted picture of a man you somewhat recognize, wearing a red cape, a crown, full enchanted Netherite armor and carrying an axe that seems to shimmer in the light.

Technoblade. You’ve had a few run-ins with him playing Bedwars and Skywars, even teaming up with him a few times. He always seemed nice enough, and certainly a damn good sword fighter. He always knew when to run and when to stand and fight, when to attack and when to defend.

“What did he do?”

Ranboo starts to speak, but Tommy interrupts him.

“Blew the rest o’ this place up. Bastard ran after that.” Tommy all but spits the words out of his mouth, like they’re acid or venom. “Fookin’ coward.”

Well, I wouldn’t call ‘knowing when to run’ cowardice, but we’ll pretend I agree, child.

“No one knows where he is now,” Ranboo adds. “Except Phil, of course. But he’s pretty much silent about it. Won’t give up a word of information.”

Shouldn’t be that hard to find one man, you muse to yourself. Bet I could.

“Well, I’ll let you know if I find anything out,” you lie with a smile plastered on your lips. “Y’know, as a sort of gift to you as the newest member of the server.”

Hah, as if.

“We’ll hold you to that.”

You nod and say your goodbyes, walking towards the central nether portal while keeping an eye out for an ender chest so you can get some of your stuff. You know the admin will take your elytra away if it so much as comes into contact with the server’s air, so you decide not to risk it.

Spotting one, you make a small noise of triumph and dart over there, grabbing the shulker with your stuff in it, transferring it to your inventory with a practiced ease.

Armor adorns your figure, enchanted Netherite striking an imposing silhouette against the blackstone beneath your feet. You twirl your sword with a grin.

Now to find Technoblade.

——

Turns out, finding a piglin hybrid is not easy.

You scoured the Nether for any sign of him, any trace of fabric, of a broken pickaxe, hell even a piece of iron he may have held. The ability you hold as a Jumper not only allows you to jump servers, but also allows you to find people if you have something of theirs.

Nothing. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Nil. Absolutely jack shit.

How can one man be so difficult to track down?

Just as you’re about to give up, a barrage of curses at the tip of your tongue, a glint of iron catches your eye.

Odd.

Hopping over a cluster of Netherrack and scaring off a few baby Striders, you see a small circle of iron sitting in a pile of red dust, looking dented and beat up.

You huff and brush the dust off of it, titling your head to the side when it reveals itself.

A compass, pointing in one direction, working even in the Nether.

Standing up, you pocket it and head to the nearest portal, jumping through to the other side only to grab the compass out of your pocket as you walk to who-knows-where. It still points in the same direction as before, only moving when you do.

An irregularity in the metal against your hand inspires you to flip the compass over to look at the back.

What lies there makes you smirk.

Technoblade’s cabin. Phil’s compass.

This might be easier than you initially thought.

:)

[max-is-tired]

What the hell would I be (without you)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Characters: Remus Sanders, Virgil Sanders

Words: 2.078

Warnings: sympathetic Remus, swearing, self-deprecation, spiraling thoughts, anxiety, crying, kissing, tell me if I missed something!!

Notes: man I love soulmates AUs so much. This fic is inspired by this headcanon from @figurative-siren-song, I just loved the entire concept so much I simply couldn’t not try my hand at it. I hope you guys like it, comments and reblogs are always greatly appreciated!!

Commission me!!  Buy me a coffee!!  Join my Discord server!!  AO3!!

Virgil stared at the clock on his wall, nervously bouncing his leg on the carpet as he raised one hand to his face. Before he could start biting his nails, however, another hand appeared out of nowhere, giving it a quick slap to keep it away from his mouth.

“No biting,” chided a voice from above Virgil, Remus grinning down at him from his position lying upside-down on the bunk bed. Virgil grumbled but complied, opting to wring his fingers instead.

“You’re an ass,” he muttered under his breath, throwing his best friend a half-hearted grave.

“Well excuse me for trying to look out for you,” Remus shot back, his tone amused. “If you bite your nails you might hurt yourself, and there might be blood and then the whole thing might get infected and they’d have to chop your entire hand off and-!”

Without missing a beat, Virgil reached for one of his pillows and slapped it onto Remus’ face, effectively shutting him up.

“Alright, message received you fucking gremlin,” he said, a smirk of his own tugging at his lips. “Remind me why I have yet to smother you?”

“Because it’s gonna be your birthday in a few hours and you needed your big, strong best friend to hold your hand lest your anxiety reduces you to a hot mess for the umpteenth time,” Remus easily recited, winking down at Virgil. “Not that you need it, you’re already a hot mess by yourself.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, letting out an amused huff as he stood up and stretched his arms upwards with a tired groan -the curse of being born at fucking 2 am, he supposed. Currently, it was only 1:45 am, and for the first time in what felt like forever, all he wanted was to curl up under the covers and go the fuck to sleep.

There was no way he could ruin his soulmate’s birthday if he was asleep, right?

“Oi, Earth to Virgil!” Remus called, startling the boy out of his thoughts. “Did you decide to go for a mental walk without me? That’s just rude, Vee! Come on, what’s running around in that worrying head of yours?”

Virgil shrugged, plopping down on his spinning chair as he looked up at the ceiling.

“Do you think my soulmate will like me?” Virgil finally asked, frowning. “I mean, I know I sure as hell wouldn’t like myself. I’m an anxious, self-deprecating mess, Rem, why the fuck would anyone want to be stuck with me? I’m just going to ruin their birthday, and I don’t want to but I can’t help it, they’re gonna hate me and I can’t blame them for that and then I’ll end up all alone and soulless-”

“Hey, stop with that crap right the fuck now,” Remus suddenly exclaimed, snapping Virgil out of his self-deprecating spiral. The boy pulled his gaze away from the ceiling, only to meet a pair of determined, blazing green eyes.

“That’s my fucking best friend you’re insulting, and I won’t stand for it. You’re an amazing person Vee, you’re loyal and determined and got snark for days. And that’s not even talking about that beautiful ass of yours!! Whoever ends up being your soulmate is going to be one lucky motherfucker, and this is the hill I’m willing to die on.”

Virgil blinked, looking like a deer caught in the headlights as he stared at his best friend with wide eyes. Slowly, he felt the familiar tingle of a blush covering his cheeks, whipping his head to the side to avoid the instinct of doing something stupid like try and kiss Remus or something.

“Shut up,” Virgil muttered, looking down at his hands in hopes that his long bangs would hide just how flustered he was.

“Never,” Remus easily shot back, voice soft and earnest in a way Virgil knew was reserved just for him.

Fuck, and people wondered why he had done something so idiotic as falling for his best friend -he was just… perfect. He was honest, loud and everything Virgil would have wanted and more. He just got him, always had, and before he’d known it Virgil had found himself head over heels, falling and falling with no chance of getting up again.

Not that he would have wanted to, of course. Sometimes, during those endless nights when sleeping felt like the most impossible thing in the world, Virgil found himself wondering if maybe, he and Remus were meant to be. After all, Remus still had to go through the swap, even after having recently turned 20. It wasn’t so far fetched for that to be a possibility, was it...?

Except that it was. After all, why would the universe pair someone as amazing as Remus with, well, Virgil, who seemed to grow needlessly anxious about the smallest and most mundane of things?

And there he went again, his thoughts spiraling more and more as the seconds passed. Of course Remus couldn’t be his soulmate. Whoever the lucky soul was, they were probably someone as incredible as him, full of life and energy and desire of adventure. Not an introvert, anxious downer like him.

1:58 am

Like, who was he even kidding? Virgil probably had no soulmate. His birthday was going to come and go and no swap would happen, not today nor never.

1:59 am

After all, why would the universe doom some poor soul to be stuck with him forever? He should just start getting used to the idea of being alone forever, instead of letting that stupid hope still fester in his chest.

It was just so stupid. Worthless, really.

2:00 am

Except that it wasn’t, not at all.

All of a sudden, Virgil felt a surge of self-confidence overtake him. He stood straighter on his chair, a grin tugging at his lips as his head filled with a thousand ideas. He wanted to bolt out of the room, jump out of his window, run into the woods behind his house and get himself lost in the wilderness, maybe even catch some squirrels.

Who cared if it was the middle of the night and there could be an assassin lurking in the shadows? He could take them, Remus had shown him how to throw knives when they were like, twelve.

Talking about his best friend! Virgil snapped his head up, eyes twinkling wildly under the fairy lights in his room, only to feel his excited expression morph into a frown once he took in the other’s expression.

Remus was hunched over just a few feet away from him, his shoulders shaking slightly as he rested his head between his knees.

“Rem?” Virgil tentatively called, standing up and shuffling forward. He crouched down in front of the other, brow pinched in confusion as he tried to understand what was going down.

Slowly, Remus looked up, his eyes red and wet as he tried to get his shallow breathing back under control. He was clutching at his chest, his fist tight around the fabric of his shirt. All in all, he looked right on the edge of an anxiety attack.

But why? He had been fine just a minute ago! There was no way he could have been faking the determined fire in his eyes as he defended Virgil from his own thoughts, and besides, Remus didn’t get anxious. Like, ever. Virgil should know, they’d been basically inseparable since kindergarten.

Then, Remus spoke.

“Do you really hate yourself this much?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper as some stray tears escaped from his eyes.

And finally, it clicked.

“I-” Virgil stared at Remus with wide eyes, trying to process the sudden life-changing information that had come to light. Normally, something like this would have sent him into some sort of attack, his anxiety, fears, and deepest insecurities filling his head until he could barely keep his head above the water.

Instead, all he felt was quiet, unmistakable happiness blooming in his chest, spreading further and further until he could barely keep himself from dancing around the room to try and get rid of some of the overwhelming giddiness.

“You’re my soulmate,” he breathed, a grin slowly stretching on his face. It was wide, bright, unhinged, the type of smile he would have never dared to let appear on his face before -but now, he couldn’t care less if his teeth were slightly crooked, or if a random stranger was annoyed by his smile.

Fuck them, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Remus was his soulmate, and that meant-

Oh. Oh no.

“Shit, Remus, I’m sorry,” he murmured, raising his hands to cradle the other’s cheeks. Gently, he wiped away the occasional tear still escaping his eyes, leaning forward to rest his brow against Remus’. “I’m sorry you have to feel all of that.”

“How do you deal with this every fucking day?” Remus whispered, looking at him as his breath slowly started to calm down. “I mean, I knew it was bad, but shit Vee, I didn’t think it was this bad.”

Virgil hummed, his smile turning a tad softer. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

Remus silently nodded, carefully releasing his shirt to rest his palm above Virgil’s chest. His breath started to synchronize with his heartbeat, and after a few minutes, he finally looked like he wasn’t three seconds away from breaking down in the middle of Virgil’s room.

“God, this is exhausting,” Remus muttered, drawing a chuckle out of his soulmate as he slid his head down to rest his brow on the other’s shoulder.

“Holy shit, how do you deal with this shit basically every other day? It’s not even been five minutes and all I want is to curl up under the covers and sleep for like, a century or so. Maybe more.”

Silence fell around them, calm and comfortable as they held each other. Then, Remus looked up, a pensive frown on his face as he visibly mulled something in his head.

“Can I-” he started, sounding strangely insecure as he avoided Virgil’s gaze. “I mean, can we- uh- god, this is impossible!”

Virgil couldn’t help the amused snort that left his lips as he watched Remus frustratingly throw his hands up, his cheeks crimson red in embarrassment.

“What, Rem?” he asked with a lopsided smirk, feeling strangely coy, “do you want me to kiss you?”

“Yes!” Remus nodded vigorously, looking more flustered by the second. “I’ve wanted to smooch your pretty face since fucking high school, do you know how hard it has been to hold off?? So you better kiss me right now before the embarrassment decides to off me for real by sending my heart on a one-way trip around the world with how fast it’s beating right now!”

Virgil cackled as he listened to Remus’ rant, feeling the muscles of his face hurt with how wide he was smiling.

“Well, it looks like the swap didn’t take away your lack of filter, at least!” he exclaimed, before grabbing Remus by the lapels of his jacket and dragging him into a kiss.

They melted into each other, the world around them fading away until there was nothing but the soft press of their lips and their careful, roaming hands. And just like that, they felt something inside them fit into place, like a puzzle piece they’d never noticed was missing.

Virgil felt the extra confidence and energy slowly slip away, leaving behind exhausted happiness as the familiar background tingle of his anxiety started coming back. As for Remus, Virgil didn’t miss the way his soulmate -holy shit, Remus was actually his soulmate, what the fuck???- immediately straightened up, pushing forward a little until Virgil was bending backward and a massive grin had taken over both of their lips.

“Fuck, I love you,” Remus murmured almost reverently as he pulled back enough to look at the boy in his arms. “I hoped, once the switch didn’t happen on my birthday, I never stopped hoping and I just- I love you so much, you have no idea. You’re the only soulmate I’ve ever wanted to have.”

“I love you too,” Virgil answered, the giddiness in his chest ever-present, burning and shining like a million suns, “but I think you’re talking a little too much right now.”

And he leaned forward again, dragging Remus in another kiss. And another. And another.

Needless to say, they didn’t find themselves in need to talk for a little while more.

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH 11

“Did I meet your friends last night?” Kirby asked as he unwrapped his crunchwrap in the driver's seat.

“uuh...kinda? Like Toby was with me when I gave you the Surge but you sorta just ran off with it.” you pause as you sip a bit of your Baja Blast. “Like a fucking gremlin.”

Kirby lets out a snort and lettuce drops from his mouth. He tries to hide his messy eating behind his hand. Failing miserably, you can't help but laugh at your friend.

“Wha' bout the other two? Kieth said you ditched 'em.” For a man who was trying to cover up his mouth he sure had the audacity to try and talk with his mouth full.

“They're Toby's roommates, I haven't talked to them too much.” he nods as you speak.

“Well I promise I'll be more...together,” he makes a sort of questioning sound as he debates if that was the word he was looking for. He can't really think of anything else so he settles for 'together'. “next weekend. They are coming right?”

After a brief pause he gets his mind back in place, “This weekend, picnic's this weekend.” You chuckle.

“Toby said they'd stop by. Don't think any are really people people.”

“People people?”

“Yup” not going to let Kirby rile you up as he often tries. Not that he could with his current brain power. Sleep haze still has him in it's hold despite being “up” for about an hour now.

Out of everyone in your friend group Kirby is probably the one you're closest to. Along with being a fellow Ace he's an ambivert and you two just instantly clicked over dumb D grade monster movies. He jokes you guys must be long lost siblings. Well he only started the sibling thing because multiple Hornets or other members of the committee kept thinking you guys were dating. Since then Kirby takes to purposefully calling you some variation of sibling when he shows any type of affection. It seems even just being referenced to being in a relationship squicks him out. You don't mind though you'd always wanted an older brother and Kirby is the exact type you would've wished for. The funny dork who was super easy to get along with.

Even when he steals your nachos...like he is now.

“I'm starting to understand the Cain Instinct.” you say looking him dead in the eyes. He lets out a roar of laughter and reminds you he bought “breakfast”.

“Dad tax and all that.”

“You're not my dad! Ugly ass doodoo head.”

“Is that what that kid said? I don't think that's right.” another thing you share is constantly referencing vines or tiktok sounds.

This of course led to an argument of what the kid actually said in the vine. Both of you were determined to get home and look it up to prove the other wrong.

After your breakfast Kirby started the truck as you put all the trash into the Taco Bell bag. You switch on his stereo much to his chagrin. Kirby got a CD stuck in the radio and now the only thing he can listen to is a meme mix tape he made back in high school. It was funny the first two months for him and now he prays that the novelty will ware off on you soon.

Though it has been a few weeks since he last drove you anywhere, and what can he say Discord is always a bop.

Kirby drops you off without much fanfare, you both agree to seeing each other next week at the picnic. Is it ironic that you want to call out for him to get some more sleep? Like you are the one who's been up since five AM and it's now eleven. But you have a medical condition, Kirby is just over worked and stressed beyond Hell and back.

Getting inside you have nothing really planned for today and while you could start heading out to thrifts to find something formal for Jo's recital you really don't feel like it. Productivity wise you've already had a pretty busy weekend so no one can really judge you for taking it easy and just merging with the couch for the rest of it. Even you, you can be so tough on yourself sometimes.

British Bake Off is just the thing you need to enjoy the rest of your weekend. A calming low stress but funny baking show. Just turn your brain off and lose yourself in the soothing monotone of the judges. It's nearly six in the evening when you finally shake off your lazy day haze.

Getting up, bakers still baking, you start making a simple dinner. Fried egg on toast sounds good. Also a good balance to your supreme nacho breakfast from this morning. Dressing one slice of toast in butter and the other with butter, a little mayo, and a dash of Tabasco before placing the egg on it. You head back to eat and continue watching the competition. Your meal fills you and gives the energy you need to continue “leisureing”.

After an hour you get up and wash the dishes from earlier. And while you have no energy to actually play any of your video games right now you do want to log in for your dailies.

A quick trip to your bedroom has you grabbing your laptop before returning back to the comfort of your living room. Couch calling you to it's cozy embrace. You half pay attention to what you're doing as you set up your laptop, muscles running on muscle memory more than any conscious effort on your part. You hadn't even noticed your hands flickering across the board and logging into your email.

By the time you do realize you aren't on your game's site you see you have a new email. It's from Barclay.

'Coming to ask for my help?' you think a little too smug that you'd been right about the cooking being too much for the man.

However, that wasn't what he was messaging you about. It seems he and Leo had been talking and the old man mentioned what your plans for cooking were.

Shortie,

Leo says you're making forager's pie for the picnic. Seasons ripe for ramps and mushrooms. You in for a little adventure through new unexplored territory?

...I'm hunting some lobster mushrooms, could use a hand or two Will share the bounty. ~Barclay sent 12:04 PM

An olive branch in hopes you weren't too sore about his rejection from earlier this week. The message and sentiment is lost on you since you got over that Thursday.

The idea of new terrain makes you a bit uneasy, however lobster mushrooms were pretty good and forage finds were really rare. Barclay grew up in these woods he probably knew what he was doing, not to mention he could easily know where to find ramps. Their flavor would really up your pie game. It's settled you're in for a forage date with big foot as your guide.

Am in Big Feet. When are we going? Sent 7:20 PM

Like with most things a waiting game began, down sides to living in a radio quiet community people weren't as attached to electronics because of the limited capabilities. But now that you know Barclay is emailing you, you can check your phone more often. Shutting down your laptop you close it before sliding it under your coffee table as you slide down the couch getting comfy.

It was two hours before Barclay got back to you.

Fantastic! Does Tuesday work? ~Barclay sent 9:42 PM

Barclay must be in a rush to get those mushrooms. You'd been thinking Thursday or Friday at the latest for the freshest mushrooms. Maybe he didn't need them for the picnic but a personal project. From what Jake has told you Barclay often falls into spells of testing out new ideas with the strangest of ingredients. With varying results but mainly positive ones.

Yea sure. Meet at the lodge after my shift? Sent 9:50 PM

Perfect see you then. ~Barclay sent 9:52 PM

Oki Sent 9:52 PM

Now that that has been settled you are free to continue your chill Sunday. Losing yourself to the lulling voices of the judges you hardly notice as you drift off. Warm in your throw blanket cocoon and cozy on the plush of your couch.

You jolt up right panting after being woken up by a loud bang. Or at least you thought you'd heard a bang, Sometimes auditory hallucinations came to you in your sleep no matter how well rested you were. The room around you is dark as the light from your TV is dimmed with Netflix's 'Are you still watching?' pop up mocking you for your marathon.

Without thinking you hit 'yes' and the bake off resumes. With the brightness restored you can see your living room and hallway are completely undisturbed. An auditory hallucination must have pulled you out of sleep. Nothing more, after all your stalker wouldn't get sloppy now, it's only been three weeks.

'That you know of.' seems to whisper and embed itself in your mind.

Shaking off the worrying thought you look at your phone to see it's now quarter till one. You are hungry and don't feel like cooking. Thankfully you have emergency white castles and fries in your freezer for this exact need. Getting up you go to the kitchen to microwave your food. Popping the fries in first you decide to head to the bathroom before that becomes a problem for you.

Before you go down the hallway you do end up grabbing the bat next to the bookshelf. The whisper from earlier clearly hasn't done much to settle your nerves after your rude awakening. Protection in hand you have a little less anxiety about walking down the dark hallway. You'd have to look into installing one of those cheap wall lamps from Home Depot to help you out in situations like this. Either that or a night light in your bathroom, you can probably get the night light done quicker. Maybe Leo sells them, you'll have to check next week.

You made it back to the kitchen after your bathroom break without any surprises, real or imaginary, jumping out at you. Replacing the fries inside your microwave with sliders, you snack on a few while you wait for the rest of your meal.

It's probably paranoia but you can't blame yourself for it as you continue to keep an ear out for any sound of abnormal movement within your home, as you eat and have the bake show low enough to catch the sounds of another person. None come, and you finish your food without incident. You're willing to chalk the noise up to a hallucination and your paranoia as valid but not necessary in this moment. Without much more thought you place your empty plate on the coffee table and curl back up in your throw blanket. Just like before you don't catch yourself as you fall asleep. This time you don't wake up until your phone alarm goes off for you to start your week and head to work.

The week has been much less dramatic than last week had been. But then again it is only Tuesday and you literally have gay brunch this Sunday. There will definitely be some sort of theatrics this week. Whether they come from homosexuals or your stalker is up to God.

Then later today you'll be going foraging with Barclay. And while that isn't anything dramatic it will be an adventure and, you hope, really fun! Your excitement has been tangible all day and you couldn't hold yourself back from focusing only on the clock in the shop all day. Even giddier than normal for the strike of five. With the energy rushing through you it amped up your tics but thankfully you hadn't hurt yourself in your excitement.

Even Nate is beginning to playfully tease you about your “date” with Barclay.

Great he must've been talking to Little Jo. What is it with this family and wanting you to date the lodge owner? Do you just look like the lead in a Hallmark Christmas movie that moved to a small town in order to feel the joy of the holidays? You could definitely get into the role but you don't think Barclay would be the main love interest for you.

Honestly he'd probably be the one all the viewers cheered for but you'd personally go for the puppy dog partner that has a scarred past. You have a type and your type is emotionally wounded and needing of love. That thought had made you chuckle as you and Nate closed up the store for the day.

Nate kept looking over at you throughout the day, and when he heard you giggle to yourself at closing he couldn't help the fond smile that came over his features. He could feel how his brows lifted themselves from their normally furrowed or downward tilt. He'd have let you leave early had it not been for the new procedures Big Jo had set. It's not often that your excitement shows so visibly. It's not often that the Cowell family has seen you happy like this.

But Nate understands it's not the crush that Little Jo seems to think it is, it's something more bittersweet. It's the excitement that comes from finally waning off of being isolated for so long. And boy does Nate understand that feeling. If he had to guess Nate would say you've been alone for most of your life even if you don't act like it. You need these little hangouts with your friends. So he does his fastest close yet. You both are out the door by five after and he bids you goodnight as you head to your respective cars.

With the close tonight being so quick you made it to the lodge and parked in the half full lot just before five thirty. Getting out of your car you noticed a familiar duo sitting on the stoop of the lodge.

'Something's wrong.' is the only thought you have as you walk towards the lodge.

“Hey stranger.” the brunette looks up to you at your greeting.

In this light you can just catch the slight movement of his pupils in his dark eyes as they widen in surprise.

“oh...hey?” he seems confused to see you here. Must not be used to living in a small town yet. He'll learn soon enough that you run into everyone all the time here. Sometimes multiple times a week as it would seem.

“You good?” motioning towards the hand on the back of his neck.

“Yea, fucking Bri-an Mrrow thought I needed this.” Toby moves his hand to show an ice pack that you assume he's been holding to the back of his neck.

“Heat sickness?”

“Nah, the RV's AC busted. I can probably fix it by the end of the week.” you nod.

That makes sense, after all CIPA affects thermal regulation, at least from a basic skim. You really need to get on that deep dive to make sure you're prepared for irregular injury prevention with Toby. Speaking of, the boy in front of you is just sitting here with Connor, why? Even if he's here to get a room at the lodge why didn't he just go in? Connor is a service dog after all not like anyone could turn him away. So why was Toby just sitting out here, especially if Brian thought he needed an ice pack to the neck to keep cool?

As if the universe heard your question and decided to give you an answer, Aubrey opened the door and poked her head out.

“Thanks for letting me put up Dr. Harris Bonkers. I'll keep him in my room during your stay.” Oh that makes sense Aubrey's rabbit normally has the run of the lodge. Even if Connor's a service dog and well trained Dr. Bonkers is still a prey animal with a weak heart. Seeing Connor may have stressed the poor rabbit out, if not nearly given him a heart attack.

Her russet eyes land on you when she opens the door wider to, you assume, let Toby and Connor in. They widen and Aubrey rushes in to hug you before stopping short as if remembering you don't appreciate physical contact.

“Hey YN! I didn't know you were coming over.” She says a little awkwardly mid pose for a hug.

You won't be saving her from the situation. With a smile, that she can't see, you nod.

“Barclay's taking me foraging today.��

Aubrey nods while lowering her arms and takes a few steps back so you and Toby can enter the lodge. The large foyer of the wooden chalet always looks bigger thanks to the deep red tones in it's color palette. From the dark cherry stained wood to the red rugs and table liners. Always feels a lot warmer too, but in a homey sense not the overbearing swelter of heat sense. You can't wait to see what it's like in the winter. Probably so cozy and welcoming with a fire roaring and the murmur of residents and tourist mingling over the winter festivities. There's a swell in your chest at the thought...it seems nice, you hope you're right.

'Hope you see it.' is the dark whisper that taints your thoughts.

You notice Brian and Tim are over at the counter talking to Barclay who is nodding along sympathetically to the trio's plight. He catches your eye and motions for you to wait. You'd been planning to, after all he's currently working.

Turning to Toby you see he looks a bit paler than normal, which should be a difficult feat. Aubrey had left you both, though you aren't sure if she'll be coming back with her girlfriend Dani in a moment or not. You decide to lead Toby over to the obnoxiously plush couch in the den.

It's not like the lodge is off limits to those who aren't guests, and seeing as most of it's workers live here their friends frequently come around thus using the amenities. After sitting on the couch Toby grabs at Connor's ears and starts shaking them. He isn't being rough with them despite the jerky movements and Connor seems to lean into the pet.

Just from what you can gather it seems like Toby has some pretty bad social anxiety. You really aren't sure of what you could do to help. He calmed down at the movie night with a distraction...oh that reminds you, you fell asleep on him. Figuratively and literally.

“I'm sorry for falling asleep on you.” probably not the most tactful or elegant way of bringing this up.

Toby takes a minute to register you words. Not taking his eyes off Connor or ceasing his movements he says, “Eh.” as he gives a muted shrug and continues, “Your friend...Kirby...gave you a ride right?” He said Kirby's name like a question. You'd have to formally introduce the two at some point. Probably this weekend.

“Yea, he's sorry about being a weirdo Saturday, said he'd be more “present” this weekend.”

Toby doesn't say anything more and you let a silence fall over you two. It isn't awkward, at least to you, and you're content to just sit and wait for a while. However, it doesn't take long before Tim, Brian, and Barclay are all entering the den.

“Knew they'd be here,” Barclay says to the other two, “Sorry 'bout the wait YN, Jake's comin' down to give these guys a tour an' set them up. We'll leave when he gets down.” you nod and give the other two a muted wave 'hello'.

It isn't long before Jake is sliding down the banister and leading the group out of the room before Barclay can get on to him about his juvenile behavior. Sighing at the twenty-three year old's antics Barclay turns to you and looks at what you're wearing. Hiking boots and jeans, perfect but one thing is missing.

“C'mon let's go get duct taped.”

“Duct taped?”

“Yup, keeps ticks from climbing up you.”

So you make your way to his office where he sticks duct tape, sticky side up, around each ankle and just above and below your knees. All while explaining how if a tick started to try and climb up you the tape would make them stick and stay there. You'd end up with less ticks on your torso and hopefully none at all.

In no time the two of your were in the forest two baskets in hand and hunting for your immobile prey. The ramps were super easy to find and the first you knocked off the hunt list. Barlcay said they grow in the same area every year, knowing this you may have to come and grab some the next time they're in season. You can already taste how good your forager's pie tastes with the new earthy tones. Actual mushrooms were much harder to find, aside from the lobster mushrooms you were really only looking for some hedgehog mushrooms. They aren't rare or extremely difficult to find but you two aren't having any luck.

Barclay suggested a spot just past a little pond, and while you didn't find mushrooms you did find some Black Raspberry bushes. Not one to let ingredients go to waste Barclay starts picking some, and you grab some too. Maybe baking an easy Black Raspberry cobbler will be your consolation prize. Though Barclay isn't as placated as you are with the unexpected find. The man is still on the hunt for his lobster mushrooms. So you continue scouring the path and a little bit off it in search.

“We should head back, it's dark.” you state plainly after a few hours of searching and remaining mushroom less.

Barclay agrees, but makes the comment that he'll probably come out again in a day or two.

“If I find any I'll still give you some or helping out today.”

“It's fine I've got my treasures right here.” You shrug it off, because while you are a bit disappointed, you still have ramps and the opportunity to make cobbler. It's not all bad. Barclay on the other hand, you know, will not be letting this go so you expect he'll hand you a container of mushrooms sometime in the coming month if not this weekend.

Getting back to the lodge Barclay helps you cut off the duct tape and disposes of it and the hitch hikers you picked up. He sends you off to shower and check for stragglers before he would allow you to go home. Thankfully you had the foresight to bring a change of clothes and after retrieving them from your trunk you do as you're told.

Barclay was right you hadn't had a single tick on you and you feel much better after a shower. Getting out you already smell the alluring aroma of Barclay's kitchen. You must have taken a bit longer than you intended if he was already done with his own shower and already cooking for the lodge. Heading downstairs with your duffle bag in tow, you are stopped by Dani at the door.

You haven't seen her in a bit so the two of you catch up and have a chat. After a bit Aubrey comes in with a Tupperware container of grilled salmon and veggies over rice.

“Oh I see, you were a diversion.” you said looking at Dani as you take the container. Dani gives a sheepish smile before running off to the dinning room, and after sending you a coy smile of her own Aubrey follows after.

You know you're more than welcome to join them, but you really don't have the battery for that and just want to decompress at home.

“Thank you!” you call out into the lodge, only leaving after hearing the distant chuckles drifting through the hall.

Opening the door you run right into someone. Looking up you see Toby, but he isn't wearing a mask. Instead he's wearing a large bandage on his face to cover the hole. In his hands is a box of similar bandages. Guess if they're staying for a bit he'll need them around the others.

Should you mention the others wouldn't say anything? That this whole place was like Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, but for the misfits or the weird and disowned? You aren't really sure it's your place. And you aren't really sure you're comfortable with how comfortable you've gotten with Toby. You're probably crossing some boundary by over analyzing him so much. And he doesn't even know you're doing it.

Toby knocks you out of your head when he backs away and gives you space to exit the lodge.

“Get home safe.” it falls out of his mouth so easily.

You've noticed he has a habit of saying that...why? There you go over analyzing him, you need to stop. Shaking yourself from your thoughts this time you look at Toby with a smile.

“I will...I think you'll like it here.” when you're in your car you want to slam your head on the steering wheel but Toby is still watching. Why did you say that, you're so weird.

[justahopelessssromantic]

A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for all the love ☺️ Here’s part one ❤️ I hope you all enjoy. Again if you want to be added to the tag list for this story just let me know and I will do so!

Monica followed behind Maddie as she ran to her grandpa jumping into Hank’s arms as she did every time she greeted her grandpa. She giggled as he threw her over his shoulder tickling her. Monica smiled watching them as she caught up to the two.

“Hey kid,” Hank greeted his daughter, pulling her in for a kiss to her temple just as he had done since she was a little girl. “How are my two favorite girls doing?”

“We’re good.” Monica smiled back at him. “Someone couldn’t wait to see her grandpa.” She teased giving her daughter a tickle as well resulting in a shriek. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to leave her here for a little while today?”

“Of course it is.” Hank reassured Monica. “We could use an extra hand today anyways.”

“Hey, I thought I heard the little squeals of our little gremlin.” Angel teased coming out of the clubhouse.

“Angel! I’m not a gremlin!” Maddie giggled, wiggling out of Hank’s arms to run over to Angel playfully swatting at him.

Maddie ruled here at the clubhouse and scrapyard. She had all the Mayan men wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. She may not have her father exactly in her life but all the guys made up for that.

“Chucky made cookies.” Angel told Maddie getting her to settle down on her attack. He chuckled ruffling her hair before extending his hand out. “How about we go sneak a few.”

“Oh yes!” She beamed taking his hand. “Bye Momma!” She called back to Monica before skipping off into the clubhouse with Angel in tow.

Monica laughed watching the two. Once they disappeared inside she turned back to her father. “Call me if you need anything.” Monica told him. “And please, please don’t let her have everything she wants.”

“Okay, I promise, but I can’t make any promises for the other guys.” Hank chuckled as Monica gave him ‘that’ look. The very same look her mother used to give him all the time before she passed. Hank held his hands up. “Okay, I’ll make sure they get the same message.”

“Thank you Dad.” Monica kissed his cheek. “I will only be gone for a couple of hours.”

“Just take as long as you need. We can handle it."

Angel closed the door behind them as he and Maddie entered the clubhouse.

“Good morning Coco and Riz.” Maddie sang as she entered with Angel. “How are you this lovely morning?”

The men smiled at the lively young girl who lit up their lives. “We’re doing fantastic.” Riz smiled at her. “And how is our Maddie doing?”

“Amazing! Angel told me Chucky has cookies!”

“I sure do!” Chucky exclaimed coming out of the kitchen carrying a tray of cookies. “Do you want chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?”

Maddie held her chin thinking about her decision for a minute. “How about both!”

Coco smiled sitting back as he took a swig of his beer. Maddie was lucky. She was the spitting image of her mother, nothing like him, at least nothing noticeable.

A little over five years ago he and Monica had a sort of friends with benefits relationship. No one knew and that's how they preferred it. Monica had just gotten out of a relationship and needed a rebound and Coco welcomed the company in his bed. It was simple, no strings attached.

But then Monica found out she was pregnant. She decided she was going to keep the baby and they both came to the agreement that it was best if he wasn’t involved in her life, at least not as her father.

In the long run Coco felt it was best to be involved as little as possible in his children’s lives. Monica was different from his other baby mama’s though. She was family, a part of the club. He couldn’t just avoid her and Maddie and he couldn’t ask her to leave. They made their odd situation work.

All that really mattered was their arrangement worked for them. She was a great mother and the club helped her raise Maddie. Coco got to watch his child grow without the fear of fucking up her life.

It was a win win all around.

Maddie sat at the bar with her plate of cookies. Her feet dangled off the stool as she kicked them back and forth. "Can I have some milk, please?" Maddie asked through a mouthful of cookie.

"I'll get it." Coco said as he was heading towards the kitchen anyways.

Angel reached for the other cookie on Maddie's plate which resulted in her slapping his hand away. He chuckled, ruffling her hair as he reached over to grab his own cookie. He loved picking on his little gremlin.

Maddie glared at him as she took another bite of her cookie. Her scowl immediately turned into a smile as wide as her tiny face when Coco set the glass of milk down in front of her.

"Thank you Coco!" She grabbed the cup guzzling the milk in record time.

"Wow, you must be thirsty." Coco commented as he watched her set the now empty cup down.

"So thirsty." She sighed, wiping his mouth. "Can I have some more please?"

Coco chuckled, taking her cup to get her some more milk. "Of course princesa."

****

Monica set the last of the bags in the back of her suv before shutting the door. One of her best friends Alex had come with her to shop for Maddie's birthday party. She hadn't stopped talking up this guy who was a friend of a friend who she said would be a great match for Monica.

"I'm just saying you aren't getting any younger Monica. Would it really be so bad to go on one date with him?"

Monica crossed her arms. "You know how I feel about blind dates."

"Just give him a chance at least." Alex wasn't going to back down on this. "You're free Friday aren't you? Maddie is already going to be at your father's for the night. You might as well take advantage of the night off."

"My definition of taking advantage of my night off is catching up on my shows and having one too many glasses of wine."

"I get it, I do. Dating isn't exactly the easiest thing when you're a single mother but that doesn't mean you just give up entirely." Alex just wanted Monica to take a chance.

Monica knew Alex understood. They both were in the same boat. Monica met Alex in a single parents group and instantly became great friends with her. What was even better was their children got along as well so play dates were a breeze.

"I just don't think I'm ready for another guy to get scared off the minute I mention Maddie." It's not that she hadn't tried dating after Maddie was born.

"You don't have to worry about that with Luke. He already knows about Maddie. I can tell you anything you want to know about him too, that way you feel prepared."

"I don't know Alex." Monica sighed leaning against her car. "It's been a long time since I've had any dates."

Alex scratched the back at her neck as she looked down. She knew Monica would not be happy with what she was about to say. "I may have... kind of already told him you were in." Alex gave Monica a half smile hoping to lighten the blow of her confession.

"You're kidding me right?"

"You and I both know you'd never go through with it on your own. I'm just trying to help give you a nudge in the right direction.” Alex looked at her pleading, “Come on Mon, just give him a chance."

Monica ran her hands over her face groaning. Peaking out of her fingers she saw Alex standing there with the same pleading look she gave her still upon her face. Fine, she would do this, if only to put an end to this topic. "Fine. I will give him a chance, for you."

"Great!" Alex grabbed her hand pulling her to the front of the car. "I will give you all the details on the way back to my place."

Having just dropped Alex off Monica was finally back at the scrapyard to pick up Maddie. Alex gave her an overwhelming amount of detail for Friday's date. She was feeling a bit overwhelmed but tried to push the anxiety to the back of her mind for now. She couldn't wait to see her baby girl, she always managed to make her feel better.

Maddie picked her head up from where she was watching Creeper work on his bike and caught Monica walking into the yard heading her way.

"Momma!" She shot up leaving Creeper there as she ran for her.

"Oh my, what happened to your dress baby?" Monica crouched down eyeing the new makeshift dress Maddie was wearing out of one of the Romero work shirts.

"I got a new one! Isn't it pretty?" Maddie twirled around showing off her outfit.

Creeper wiped his hands on his jeans as he walked over to the two. "Someone found a mud puddle." He said ruffling Maddie's hair.

"Of course she did. I knew I should have packed a spare change of clothes."

"She's just like another little girl I remember always playing in the mud and getting into trouble." Bishop commented grinning as he stood up from the picnic table putting out his cigarette.

Watching Maddie grow was like getting a glimpse in the past to the days when Monica was running around the clubhouse carefree. After Madison, Monica's mother passed away, the club stepped up to help raise her along with Vicky and the girls just as they had done now for Monica with Maddie.

They do say it takes a village and there was no better village than that of the club.

“Me? Getting into trouble?” Monica played innocent smiling, “Never.”

Creeper pulled Monica into a side hug giving her a kiss on the head playfully. “Definitely not our sweet angel.” He chuckled. “Maddie must get that from her father.” He reached down ruffling her hair again.

Maddie ducked out from under his hand. “My father?” She asked looking up at the three adults.

“Shit,” Creeper muttered under his breath realizing he fucked up. “Sorry.” He mouthed over to Monica who just gave him a smile reassuring him that it was alright and she wasn’t upset.

She knew eventually the father subject would come up.

“Hey that’s a bad word!” Maddie scolded Creeper forgetting all about her father for the moment. “You owe a quarter to the jar!”

Ever since Maddie uttered her very first curse word which then turned into her having a very bad potty mouth, maybe even worse than them, the guys realized they needed to watch their language better, at least when Maddie was around. To do so they set up a swear jar that at the end of each month the money would go towards a special treat for Maddie.

“You heard the boss, cough it up.” Bishop motioned towards the clubhouse where the jar was located. Creeper made his exit heading towards the clubhouse to deposit his fee.

Monica held her hand out to Maddie. It was getting late and they needed to be heading out. “Alright, it’s getting late. Are you ready to go home now?”

“Do we have to?” Maddie pouted jutting her bottom lip out as the tears threatened to pool in her eyes. She wasn’t ready to go, the clubhouse was her favorite place. “Can’t I stay a little longer and go home with grandpa?”

Monica crouched down cupping her little face in her hand. “Not tonight baby, you’re staying with grandpa on Friday night remember?”

“Yeah.” She sighed, rubbing her eye with her little fist. Monica knew it didn’t help that she was tired.

Straightening up Monica took Maddie’s hand in hers. “Come on, we’ll see everyone again tomorrow I’m sure.”

“Goodnight princesa,” Bishop bent over giving her a hug. “You be good for your Momma okay?”

“Okay.” Maddie gave him a smile. “Goodnight Bishop.”

“I’ll bring the shirt back tomorrow.” Monica told Bishop.

“Don’t worry about it.” They had plenty of shirts around the yard. They weren’t going to miss it. “She can keep it.”

Maddie’s smile grew as she began playing with her new dress again, twisting back and forth so it would flow around her.

“Thank you.” Monica gave Bishop a quick hug before they left. “Goodnight Bishop.”

“Goodnight.”

Later that night after dinner, bath, and a bedtime story, Monica snuggled close to Maddie in her small bed. She tucked her in making sure she was snug and handed her her favorite stuffed unicorn.

“Goodnight my love.” Monica murmured, kissing Maddie’s head. “Sweet dreams.”

Maddie hugged her unicorn tighter as she prepared to uttered the words Monica had been dreading since she was born. “Momma, where is my father? How come I don’t have a daddy?”

“What do you mean baby?” Monica turned so she could face her better. She had a feeling this was coming tonight but she had hoped Creeper’s statement would be forgotten by now.

It wasn’t just Creeper that had Maddie’s mind on her father but also that of all the other kids she saw who all seemed to have a father but her. “Sarah from the park said that everyone has a daddy and Oliver’s daddy doesn’t live with his mommy but he still goes to see him on the weekends.” Oliver was Alex's son and Maddie’s best friend. “How come I don’t get to go see my daddy? Where is he?”

Monica sighed. She knew this would come some day but she wasn’t prepared to have this talk right now. The biggest thing she had learned as a parent was that most things she couldn’t prepare for.

Monica ran her hand through Maddie’s soft dark hair soothingly. “Sarah is right everyone does have a daddy but not everyone’s daddy’s are a part of their lives.”

“How come mine isn’t in mine?” Maddie looked into Monica’s eyes awaiting the answer to her question.

“Your daddy and I decided together that things would be better this way.” Monica said carefully.

“Did he not love me?” Maddie’s eyes began to well with tears breaking Monica’s heart.

“Oh baby, of course he loves you. He loves you so much that he did one of the hardest things a person can do, he put you first." Monica pulled Maddie close holding her tight. "You know even though he isn't here, he's always with you."

"How?" Maddie looked up at her.

"It's kind of like how grandma is always with us." She explained.

Maddie didn't have the chance to meet her grandma so Monica made it a point to keep her alive through stories not only for herself but for her daughter as well. She didn't remember much of her mother but she would recall everything she did to Maddie and share the stories others had told her through the years as well.

Monica wanted her to know about the woman she was named after. She wanted her daughter to know her grandmother.

"In our hearts?"

"Exactly." Monica smiled down at her. "He's a part of you and always will be. Just like grandma is a part of me and just as much a part of you even though you never met her. You may not have a daddy like everyone else but that’s okay because all that matters is that you are so so loved and always will be.”

Tag list: @carlaangel86 @starrynite7114 @mayans-sauce @capnsaveahoe

[shortyisweird9]

'Lonely ghost serie'

Proposition and Accord-part VII

"Ghoooost! Good noon!"

"Hello!"

You opened your eyes slowly, barely awake from the deep sleep you had. The grogginess in your voice shadowed by the abnormal deepness of the voice changer.

"Hey, ghost."

"Corpse! Always pleased to hear you."

"Always ,ey?" Toast picked what you said in a more suggestive tone, teasing you with it.

"Cut it ,man."

You didn't bite on the trap however.

" Anyway, mind if I bring a friend?"

"Of course!"

"Sure why not."

"Okay,brb."

"So ,Corpse..."

"To early for that ,Toast."

Near the white astronaut Ghost had, a new little one came. It was black with a pair of headphones and a Wall-e companion. On top the name Charon was displayed.

The others started circling the new mate as Corpse's pink character stood unmoved by your side.

"Good evening!" A low and mature voice came from a woman. It didn't had a mechanical effect to it so it was coming in naturally.

"Hiiiii!"

"Hello!"

"Guys this is Andreea, Andreea this is the Peanut gallery."

"Ha,nice. Good to meet you all."

"Likewise."

"You too."

"Your robot is cute." Corpse remarked.

You smirked when your phone immediately lighted up. A message from Andreea written in big bold letters: 'HIS VOICE IS HOT!'

'I know :)))'

"Andreea , you know how to play this game?"

"Y-Yeah ummm..."

"Sykkuno."

"Sykkuno! Yeah, I know me and Y- I mean ghost sometimes play it. "

"You play together?"

"Well yeah, we play Fallout together, sometimes Minecraft even Eyes the horror game. Speaking of which ghost?"

"Yeah?"

"My place tonight?"

You smirked knowing what's to come.

"Time to corrupt another soul?"

You laughed was intentionally made to be interpreted by the others as evil and dark. In the inside you cringed, you sounded so stupid.

"Umm,guys?" Sykkuno asked for clarification, to which he will not receive.

"YOU GUYS LIVE IN THE SAME CITY?" Pooki asked all excited for some reason.

"Yeah?"

"Same city? We leave in the same apartment building." Andreea told ,a pleasant hiss rang as her long nailed hands opened a Pepsi can.

'Cola is better'

'Fuck off, Y/n'

':))🖕'

"That's so cute!"

"I guess,but she's a pain."

"A pain? Moi? Please, I am only in pain not one."

The others chuckled at your shenanigans, the humour between you and Andreea being based in play fighting, cursing each other and bumping as hard as you can into each. Considering how much of a height difference is between you two, everything just gets more interesting.

"Maan,I want to stay in the same building with you guys also." Corpse pouted.

You two sounded really nice to be with, especially you. You were fun to talk witg and your natural voice was a godsend to his anxiety and insomnia. It made him sometimes slip into a blissful sleep,especially when you began reading to him Doom lore in the late hours of the night.

' "The Maykrs' need for the Essence is prime. Without it they must suffer the monstrous fate of Transfiguration, and see their wisdom and faculties slither from their twisted forms. By bidding of the Khan Maykr herself, the Order of the Deag has devised a method to improve and accelerate the production of the Hell aura. What once took eons for the savage beasts to attai...oof. Wait."

Corpse heard you move in the bed, your body getting its pressure off it before settling back in.

He wanted to start to ask you to read again when he was interrupted by the sound of smooching ? You were kissing somebody?

You puffed and smiled as Sergiu bombarded you with another waves of kisses, a tradition in your group. You all were touched starved creatures so you showed your platonic affections through hand holding, sudden hugging, cuddling- sometimes propping your cold feet on the other person's back just to be dickish- and rains of kisses.

Sergiu was the most affectionate out of all of you, the rain of kisses being something that his mother used to do before she left to work. 'A kiss on the forehead to brighten your thinking, two on the cheeks so no one is lonely and one wherever you want.'

"Alright! Alright! I get it, you are leaving!"

You laughed as you pushed the cuddly golden retriver of a man away.

His chains attached to his black leather belt with grey 3d rombes running all over it clicked as it bounced. His hair smudged on the worn out black leather jacket and his face all but a smile. He was happy and you love to see it.

-Vrei ceva? ("You want something?")

-Umm...PIZZA PĂTRATĂ DE LA DEDEMAN ȘI MOUNTAIN DEW.("Um...SQUARE SHAPED PIZZA FROM DEDEMAN AND MOUNTAIN DEW.")

The man laughed at your antics, roughing up your freshly washed hair and closing the door as he left.

"Corpse? You still there buddy?"

Corpse felt a pang in his chest, you sounded like you have much more fun with the other person. He knew it was stupid but he couldn't help feel jealous and worried at the same time. He wanted to be the reason to make you sound so happy and he didn't want to be worried of being replaced anytime soon.

"Corpse? My petit orchid? Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah,I am fine."

It came out shaky and too abrupt for your liking. Something's wrong and you didn't want to overstep your boundaries but you couldn't let him go about his day while having something munching on his good mood.

"Hey,hey Corpse."

"Yes?"

"Wanna see my cat?"

"YOU HAVE A CAT?"

"Yes,so do you..."

"Hell yeah. I mean...sure I am cool with that."

You shook your head and became giggling, it's good to know you weren't the only one who didn't know how to cover their slip ups.'

"Trust me Corpse. You don't want to live with this anxiety filled owl."

"HEY! My anxiety adds spice."

"Oh my god!"

"Guys, guys. Can we start the game please?"

"Oh for sure."

————————————————————

"Watch out for the wall, ghost. Watch out for--GHOST! Oh shit ,I lost her guys! Ghost, where are you?"

His character ran in desperate search to find you. When it left the snowy environment from outside , it stopped abruptly. You were there in the office with Sykkuno ripped apart body in front of you.

"Oh shit! Sykkuno!"

His thoughts ran wilde as they hurried to reach a consensus. He knew that you will probably kill him also as you waited for those 10 seconds to pass.

His premonition was proven true went you shut the doors of the office , your character moving slowly towards him.

"Ahhh! Guys ,what the hell do I do?"

His eyes clenched shut as his finger hovered the report button.

The sound of a meeting went off,forcing him to let out the breath he's been withholding. His hands shook as he relaxed himself when his friends started discussing aka screaming at each other.

Someone else called in another body.

You held your fingernails between your lips, leg bouncing from the nerves. You knew Corpse will snitch you out,after all you did killed Sykkuno.

I am so fucked...

Your body covered in a white and black hoodie contorted itself into a smaller position.You ignored the pain that your dead thighs were trying to emit while being in a cross position. Head to busy with anxious thoughts of what Corpse may do.

"Phew, Jesus. I am too nervous for this game."

Andreea's words caught you off guard. She nervous? It's more likely than you think.

Your feelings long forgotten as your protective nature sprung out of the shell.

"You? Nervous? Andreea you are a freaking talented tattoo artist."

"It doesn't matter, my hands are sweating like they are the Danube river."

"Wait ,are you a tattoo artist?"

"Yeah ,I am. I started tatto--"

Mission accomplished! Your goal wasn't to comfort, you knew you sucked at that but to distract. To take her mind away from whatever cause her pain ,then to secretly totally not obviously attack the shit of whatever upset her even bad vibes. Fuck them bad vibes! You and your friends are bad bitches not second hand embarrassments.

"It will be nice if I could do henna also but this hoarding gremlin was only calm enough when she did them. So basically it became her summer job."

Ah. Your mind realised she was telling them how you two met.

You wanted to get some henna tattoos, see if you liked the way the look at you. Andrea was just a beginner when you entered the tattoo shop and her life.

You weren't always an anxious person,the situation changed when your math teacher decided to be a bitch and humiliate you for not knowing geometry. Since then you were always out of breath when you spoke in public, always bouncing your leg when stressed , biting off your nails and having a constant dread when it came socialising with others. And when you are a big girl that amplifies considerably.

People are just shallow like that and you learned a long time ago that their intolerance towards you was a THEY problem rather than a YOU problem.

It's hard thought, sometimes their words and disgusted glares burn you from inside out. Make you feel inhuman ,that your anger,sadness and your passion don't mean anything ,that they are not valid, that you cannot be yourself and liked at the same time nevermind seen as a romantic interest.

But I digress, when it came with Andreea ,everything when abnormally smooth, you joked and laughed, bitch about people and so on. You hit off immediately.

So when you wanted to make a bit of cash ,Andreea didn't hesitate to teach you how to do temporary tattooing.

"That's so nice guys,the body was in specimen room by the way." Dave said.

The others for some reason started blaming Rae , you didn't said nothing as you were still waiting with your breath tight for Corpse to rat you out.

"Corpse? Where were you by the way?"

Here comes the expose.

"I ..uh...wait. I was in the storage then I met Sykkuno in the office but left with ghost."

What?

"Ghost? Can you collaborate his story?"

"Yeah , me and him left Sykkuno. I think orange was with him last time we saw. I am done with my tasks by the way."

"What?"

"LUDWIG! HOW DARE YOU KILL SYKKUNO?!" Corpse growled.

You muted yourself as you squealed. You couldn't believe him. He really took your side!

You took a sip of your green tea, patting yourself on the back for being calm and getting back in the game.

————————————————————

"How could you ,Corpse? I trusted you and you stab me behind my back." Sykkuno exclaimed, pout evident in his voice.

"I am sorry Sykkuno..i-it's just...I...uhh.."

Your microphone was not muted this time so when you burst in laughter you dominated the whole discussion. You laughed ugly but happy as you always did, holding your lower abdomen as it clenched muscle you didn't know you have.

"It's NOT funny, ghost!"

"It'S nOt FuNnY, GhOsT! Bwahaha..."

Despite laughing ,deep down you worried you may have offended your new friends? Nah, too early to call them that.

"I think I know why Corpse did what he did." Grease started in a dramatic sober voice.

"You mean cheated on Sykkuno."

Ludwig ignited couple of laughter from the group.

"Yeah. He did it....drumb rolls please. "

Sean provided the suspenseful roll.

"Because he is a SIMP."

"WHAT?"

"No way..."

"You heard me."

The group went wilde. You didn't know what you could say, your mind crazy yet also numb. Poor Corpse.

"Hey, hey. Guys, please calm down. If you want to come for someone, come for my neck."

Your hands flared up into a peaceful backing sign, you knew of Corpse's bad anxiety and you didn't want to cause him distress by bringing the limelight into his face.

"It's alright, ghost. I am a big boy, I can take it."

You tried to keep it short, you really did but your mind wanted to say one more thing.

"Just like you can open foil?"

You heard a breath intake. You lowered your volume, thinking of what he may do.

"I FUCKING HATE FOIL!"

————————————————————

"Tonight was fun." Corpse said after taking a sip of water.

"Yeah, it was."

You watched your dark hair moving in the air as you played with your toes.

"Sorry again for bringing all the...uh...attention on you."

"It's fine,ghost. I know you didn't mean it."

"Y/n."

"What?"

"My name is Y/n."

Ah!

His heart jumped a bit ,you told him your name that means you trust him right. Lily doesn't know your name so he is the first to know. The first to guard this special information.

"Ghost was kinda wearing down,you know?"

"Y-yeah,...uhh..I mean no! Yes? No? Fuck...It's a pretty name,um...Y/n."

You haulted, getting used to him saying your name will take a while.

"Heh,thanks Corpsie."

"Mhmmm, did you have time to think about what I told you?"

Couple of nights ago,Corpse proposed the idea of starting your own Youtube channel. You were hesitant.

"Corpse, I told I don't think people really like me. I think they just like the voice."

"Non sense. You watched our stream?"

"Noo...? Sorry,I didn't really have time to..."

"Hey, it's okay goofball. Anyway,they were asking more videos with you. Maybe some of them like you because of your voice but most of them like you because they like your personality, gh- Y/n."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Look you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I just feel bad for all the fans that want to talk with you or sometimes I found something funny and I want to send you or tag you. It's stupid I know."

You didn't like the sad tone of his, your heart tightened and your worries worsened.

"I think I am going to sleep. Goodnight, ghost."

"'Night,Corpse."

You were left in the darkness of your room, at the end of the bed with your long fingers reaching towards your knife, your personal fidget spinner. You chew your nail as you moved the blade unconsciously.

Corpse's account:

.ghost added you. Add them back?

————————————————————

Hey,guys!💖💖

Hope you like the seventh part of the serie. I almost went into a writing block with this one.

Anyway, have a nice day!💗💗

Tagged💖💖: @moolujk @magenta-skyline @yikesyikesyikes95 @mythicalamphitrite @yoyoanaria @simonsbluee @cherry-piee @gaysludge @softboiicorpse @heavenly3308

[newtafterdark]

Taste of Metal - Chapter 10: Sweet Beans AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/66411679 What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the “Metalhead Gordon AU”

- - The digital clock on the wall said 4:36 PM. 

 Gordon was laying on the futons in the living room, limbs lazily stretched out and staring at the ceiling. Most members of the Science Team were currently preparing dinner in the kitchen, supervised by Joshua.

 The past few days had been... certainly something. It felt like he had attempted speedrunning several different things at the same time because there was an unsettling feeling of time running out fast for something if he didn't. 

 He knew that was his anxiety. The feeling of too little time for anything, his thoughts running 88 miles per hour, sending him down rabbit holes of thoughts and worries. Especially, since his last job for Black Mesa had him mess up his medication schedule during his time in the simulation. He was slowly getting back to what he considered his personal normal state... and it was honestly a relief. 

 Gordon turned his head to the side, acknowledging Benrey, who was sitting beside him on a pillow, Gordon's injured arm gently laying on his open palms as he was applying a new layer of healing sweetvoice to it. 

His arm was significantly better now. Still sensitive to touch, but all in all healing. Though he had to admit that the scars that had been forming in the process were... unique. 

 The edge of where the mess started was more akin to what he had expected - lighter coloured slightly bumpy lines & patches where the skin had been damaged. 

 But the area where it had been an open wound? That's where it looked... unusual. It looked like a protective layer of flesh & skin had formed where it shouldn't have without a proper surgery. The skin there was just as light as the scarring on the edge... but it felt new. Sensitive. And a certain amount of weird because... well, this simply wasn't what a human body would do on its own during a healing process.

 Then again... his body had been getting help with the whole thing-

 Gordon closed his eyes and let out a soft hum, almost harmonizing with Benrey holding a steady note beside him, as the cool sweetvoice hit his arm. 

 He hadn't really had the time to ponder over the fact that he was sharing his apartment with several non-humans... but laying on a comfy futon, having to hold still and wait for Benrey to be done sweetvoicing at him - yeah, that sounded like a good time as any.

 Well, until he noticed that Benrey stopped singing. He opened one eye, seeing Benrey looking at him with a questioning look on his face, his head slightly tilted to the left.

 "Yo, you gonna space out on me with 'em big thoughts?", Benrey asked.

 Gordon chuckled at that. 

 "I told you once and I'll tell you again - your sweetvoice is good. Helpful and... just really relaxing. Helps my brain shut up about the painful shit and lets me focus on things I actually want to think about. Can't help it, my dude.", he said with a shrug and a soft smile.

 "Huh.", was all Benrey said, keeping eye contact with Gordon.

 The human in question blinked up at the guard.

 "If you want... I can tell you my thoughts while you do... uh... the healing thing? No need to reply to me, just... I don't know, me rambling for a bit?"

 Now it was Benrey's turn to blink - and to Gordon's surprise similarly to a lizard, an eye-lid-like part of eyes closing over them sideways.

 "... that's so fucking cool...", Gordon whispered in awe, staring at Benrey with wide eyes.

 "Whu- What?"

 "The thing your eyes do when you blink! I... I guess I was never close enough to actually notice it. It just looks cool, is all I'm saying."

 "W-Wow, Gordon Flirtman here trying to butter me up with the compliments?"

 Despite his quick retort, Benrey visibly turned a shade darker and averted his eyes, letting out a few pink orbs of sweetvoice before returning to the healing teal.

 Gordon let out an amused huff, resting his free arm behind his head and looking back at the ceiling.

 "Look, I just appreciate all the cool non-human things you and the others can do. I... I don't know how much of it was just part of the simulation and what you can do now that you're free again... but it's simply exciting to me!"

 He heard a slightly deeper-pitched tone coming from Benrey, somehow making him feel like it was okay to continue talking.

 "So many terrifying things crawled out of the Breach over the past years... all with the goal to destroy and to conquer. The Kaiju and every other creature related to them were all I had for reference for non-human beings for a long time. Aside from Joshua, of course, but you get what I mean."

 Benrey let out a few notes that sounded similar to a soft "Uh-huh". 

Gordon continued. 

 "But as scary as you guys think you are... and as you can be-"

 Gordon turned his head towards Benrey once more.

 "- Thank you for being you. Silly, obnoxious, chaotic and kind. And for showing me that not everything you can find beyond portals and in shady labs is something I should fear forever. That I needed to learn to listen and learn, again. To understand. To actually be the kind of scientist I always wanted to be."

 They sat there for a while, Benrey laser-focused on Gordon's arm, a few stray orbs of sweetvoice remaining in the air between them as he eventually closed his mouth.

 "I did a good... thing? By being- uh, me?", Benrey eventually stuttered out, still gently holding Gordon's arm in his hands. 

 Gordon nodded.

 "No one told you to apologize to me after everything - even when I told you not to worry- but you did so anyway and on your own accord. Not to mention you are actively helping me heal physically since the moment you guys found me."

 He reached over, resting his hand on Benrey's knee.

 "You may not be human, Benrey... but you are a person who tries to make up for the things they fucked up. And that's a good thing, in my book."

 Benrey's brows were furrowed as he slowly nodded.

 "I'm.... n-not a bad guy? All the time?"

 "You're a menace with Gremlin energy at worst, at this point."

 That made Benrey snort, Gordon laughing softly in return. 

 "Uh, feed me snacks 24/7 and I'll be the greatest cool!", Benrey added with a grin.

 "That's not how Gremlins work!", Gordon wheezed, moving his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to keep himself from breaking out into loud laughter.

 "Only got the energy, bro. Am not small or fuzzy... right now."

 Gordon slowly sat up, intrigued by the implications of those last two words. He opted to sit cross-legged, radiating curiosity and excitement as his hand was drumming away on his thigh.

 "Shapeshifting... Shapeshifting!! Okay, okay! Tell me when I get too personal with my questions but... uh... you can change your appearance not just in size? Holy shit man, that's... that's WILD!"

 Benrey stared at Gordon with wide eyes for a second, taken off-guard by the man's excitement for his more out-there powers. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously - something he had observed Gordon doing sometimes and added to his own mannerisms. 

 "Yeah, uh, character creation ain't perma-locked. Can access that anytime I want. Makes me tired when I do it too much... but it's cool.", he said, then looking somewhat unsure- "Would you... be a big cool with me doing that? Around here? SMALL WAYS! N-No big Benny. Just... feel comfy here. To do that, I mean."

 Gordon smiled at that, reaching over to place a hand on Benrey's shoulder. 

 "Dude, as long as you don't go full horror and accidentally scare the shit out of any of us, go ahead. I don't know... what you have in mind with "small ways"... but I am curious, so... go ham."

 "You sure? Is right now okay?"

 "Uh... if you want, yeah!"

 Gordon was about to remove his hand to give Benrey some space, but within the blink of an eye Benrey's hands looked... almost paw-like. His fingertips ended in dull claws, while the skin on his hands had a slight gradient to them, reminding Gordon of the ever-present shadow on Benrey's face. He let out a soft gasp-

 "Holy SHIT?!- Let me see?? Can I touch them?"

 "Huh? Ain't nothing fancy, but sure."

 Gordon mirrored Benrey's previous gentleness with his arm as he now carefully took one of Benrey's hands (paws?) in his own.

 "Wow...", Gordon breathed, slowly turning it over-

"HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE BEANS????? PAW BEANS?"

 Benrey let out a crackle at that but nodded. 

 "Sometimes, 'cause it makes stuff easier. Climbing and holding shit and all that. Got that perfect gamer grip."

 "..."

 Benrey tilted his head at Gordon's sudden silence. 

 "Uh... ?"

 Gordon looked up from staring at Benrey's hand, the biggest smirk on his face. 

 "So... you got paw beans."

 "Y-Yeah?"

 "Which means you also have toe beans-"

 "What you talking about Feetm-"

 "Beanrey."

 "Wha-"

 "BEANREY!"

 "NO!", Benrey exclaimed through already starting to laugh, as Gordon fell back on the futon wheezing, barely managing out a "YES!" in reply.

[dreamcatcherfication]

Ask Me Who I Am, Pretend You Know My Face

Let 👏 Anne 👏 Have 👏 Feelings 👏 And 👏 Character 👏 Depth 👏

AKA Anne has an existential crisis. Anon requested “this isn’t you sounds very much like something happens to Anne and she just shuts down...? Maybe Beheaded Cousins?” And I’m happy to oblige. I’m not a big fan of the ending, but I didn’t know how else to tie it together. Not sure what went through my mind when I wrote this, but have it anyway. Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, I’m now a war veteran.

Writing Masterpost

If you want to send a request or a prompt, my inbox is always open! I publish a story at 8:00 AM PST everyday, so I’m always in need of new ideas. If you want to be tagged in my works, just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you!

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts | Original Prompts

Trigger Warnings: Existential crisis, anxiety, cursing

Anne Boleyn was many people. She was the temptress history remembered her as. She was the carefree gremlin that the queens’ show presented her as. She was a woman wrongly beheaded by her vengeful husband. She was the mother of one of England’s greatest monarchs and more. 

Of all things Anne was great at, it was acting. She had been doing it long before her second life, and now it was her profession. There wasn’t a time she wasn’t playing a role and charming someone. And it took a toll on Anne, to the point where she never stopped acting. Even when she went to bed, Anne gave her mirror a charismatic smile and winked, making sure her mask was on. Playing a role was easier than playing herself. 

It was easy to distract historians who came to interview her. Anne was the most well known queen, so she often had solo interviews to deal with from pushy historians. At first it had been a lot to deal with, but Anne had grown used to their invasive questions. They were almost always the same, so she had her prepared answers. They never wanted to know about her opinions or choices, they wanted to know about all the drama and ‘seduction’ she took part in. 

It was Anne’s offday and she had a plethora of interviews scheduled. It wasn’t her chosen way of spending the day, but she needed to get them done anyway. She wasn’t one to turn interviewers away without even meeting them, so she decided to make a day out of it. The first interview wasn’t too bad, actually starting out on a relatively high note. The interviewer was a big fan of the show, and she wanted to know about the dynamics of the queens and what it was like being reincarnated. She made sure Anne knew she didn’t have to answer a question if she was uncomfortable, and Anne was grateful for that. 

The second interview was fine. The historian wasn’t too pushy and seemed generally respectful, but he kept asking questions that dragged up bad memories for Anne. By the time the interview was over, she could feel herself settling into a frustrated mindset. This third interview would not go well, and Anne knew that the second she walked into the small office.

This historian was an old white man with greying hair and ancient glasses. She could already tell he was one of those snobs who would argue that his opinion was fact. But rather than judge him right off the bat, Anne put on her excited persona and gave him the benefit of the doubt. “Hello!” she spoke happily, giving him a dazzling grin.

“Ah yes, Anne Boleyn,” he spoke in a rickety old voice. He pulled down his glasses and gave a smile that seemed to physically pain him. “I’m Director Hoffman, pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s mine,” Anne replied, shaking his hand. This was the third time she’d gone through the motions today, but she acted as if it was her first.

Director Hoffman leaned back into his seat and sighed. Anne sat in the seat across from his desk and put her hands in her lap. He had a pen and paper in front of him, as if he could record the entire interview by hand. Anne already had a bad feeling growing in the pit of her stomach, but she attempted to stifle it. “Let’s get started, shall we.” Anne nodded silently, waiting for his questions. “What made you go after King Henry VIII?”

Cringing, Anne realized he was jumping right into the thick of it. “Really it was my father. He pushed me to get involved with Henry for power. It wasn’t so much my choice.”

“But,” Hoffman pushed, “that’s not what historical records say. In fact, most everyone agrees that you were highly calculated in your bid to steal the King from his wife.”

Anne clenched her teeth and attempted to stay civil. “Well history tends to be misleading about a lot of things. As someone who lived the experience, I can tell you for a fact that those records were not written with me in mind. They paint Henry as a saint while putting me and his other wives down, painting us as horrible when that wasn’t the reality of it.”

Hoffman didn’t write any of that on his page. “I find that hard to believe,” he stared at Anne. “How is it that this airheaded girl you appear to be broke England from the Church?”

“This might be hard to believe,” Anne’s voice dripped with malice, “but men tend to over exaggerate when they let their dick decide.”

The director’s eyes widened and he grew aghast. “What an improper thing for a lady to say!”

“Freedom of speech,” Anne shrugged. “Another thing we didn’t have back then. All your documents you rely so heavily on, they only say what Henry wanted to hear. It’s all biased.”

Director Hoffman absolutely refused to listen to what Anne was saying. “You, Anne Boleyn,” he practically hissed, “are a disgrace to the historical figure this country remembers. You are a disgrace to Elizabeth and all English monarchs. You should be ashamed of who you are.”

Biting her cheek to keep from screaming, Anne slammed her hands on Hoffman’s desk. The old man leaned away from her, fear creeping in behind his eyes. Restraining herself, Anne stepped back and marched out of the room, not so much as glancing back.

On her way back to the queens’ house, Anne hadn’t lost any of her anger. She couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone telling her who to be when she was already trying to cater to them. She tried and tried and tried and they were never happy with what she gave them. Maybe she was broken.

Storming into the house, Anne didn’t acknowledge any of the other queens. “Anne? Where are you going?” Jane called from the dinner table where all the others queens were conversing with each other.

“Leave me alone,” she said, continuing through the room to get to the stairs.

“Hey, don’t leave Anne,” Aragon told her, standing up. “You should at least come eat.”

Freezing but not turning around, Anne growled, “I don’t want your food, okay?”

Cathy frowned and put her fork down. “Anne, is there something wrong? You can tell us -”

“Nothing’s wrong!” Anne yelled, still staring at the wall. “Or maybe everything’s wrong, I don’t know. But nothing’s changed, so you don’t need to worry. Go back to your food.” And then she left the queens, and shut herself up in her room. 

The other five queens all shared confused glances around the table. “I’ll handle this one,” Kat said, standing up.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Anna asked, her eyes flicking to the stairs where Anne had just been. “She doesn’t seem to be in the most forgiving mood.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kat made her way to the stairs. “She’s my cousin and I’m going to try and help her.” And then she was gone as well, disappearing up the stairs to (hopefully) make Anne feel better.

Muttering, “Godspeed,” Cathy gave the air a small salute.

As Kat traveled up the stairs to Anne’s room, she couldn’t help but hold her breath. Literally anything could be going on with Anne and she had absolutely no grounding with how to deal with it. Still, this was her cousin and she would try her best. “Anne?” Kat knocked on her door. “Can I come in.”

“I can’t stop you,” came Anne’s defeated voice from inside. 

Gently opening the door, Kat made her way to Anne’s bed. The girl in question was lying face down on the bed, her limbs spread out at awkward angles. “Hey Anne… how are you doing.”

Anne scoffed into the bedsheets. “What do you think Kat?”

“I think you’re pretending to be angry to hide that you’re hurting.”

Kat noted the way Anne reacted to her words. She sat up from her position and faced Kat with a defensive glare. “I’m not hiding anything. I’m fine. Good and dandy! Happy fucking Christmas,” Anne snarled, her upper lip starting to curl.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kat quietly asked, moving closer to her cousin.

Anne pulled away, creating distance between her and Kat. “I don’t need to talk about anything. Why can’t you let that go? Crawl back to Jane and leave me alone.”

A pang of hurt went through Kat, but she brushed it off. Anne didn’t mean it, even if her words still stung. Biting her tongue and glancing down at the floor, Kat summoned up her courage. “This isn’t you Anne.”

Chuckling ruefully, Anne fiddled with her bedsheets. “Was this ever me?” That definitely wasn’t the response Kat was expecting, but she kept quiet as Anne started to unravel. “I’ve never been me, have I?” Her voice started to quiver, a sign that she was holding back tears, or something much worse. “I’m the temptress or I’m the falsely accused. I’m the ditzy stage girl or I’m the chaotic wingman. I’m the slut or I’m the King’s prize. But I’m not me.”

Of all people Kat would think to have an existential crisis, it was not Anne. Her cousin always seemed so confident and sure of herself, but here she seemed so confused and broken down. “Anne, you aren’t defined by just one thing.”

“Then what am I defined by?” Anne shot back, her eyes red. “The documents of history? They’re bullshit,” she spit. “Am I defined by my show persona? It’s seventy-five minutes, that can’t be it, Kat!”

The genuine fear on Anne’s face as she tried to figure out how to define herself frightened Kat. “I know the real you.”

“Do you?” Anne asked, the pleading in her voice real. “Please, tell me who I am, because I can’t take this any longer. I’ve tried so hard to do what they want,” Anne’s voice broke. “And they’re never satisfied.”

Grabbing Anne’s hand and pulling her closer, Kat made sure they were face to face. "You are my cousin. You're loyal and caring and you would kill anyone who looks badly at your friends. You're the life of the party, always encouraging people to be their best self. You are educated and smart, even though you tend to hide it. You're human and you have emotions just like anyone else. You are Anne Boleyn."

Choking back tears, Anne threw herself into Kat’s arms. “What if I can’t be that? What if I’m not who you want me to be?”

“Oh Annie, I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself. No matter who you are, I’ll still love you.” For a moment, Kat thought Jane must’ve been rubbing off on her because of the sudden role reversal. But Kat didn’t mind being the one to comfort her cousin, especially when she needed it so badly. 

Anne flopped back on her bed, taking a giggling Kat with her. “Can you stay with me tonight?” Anne asked, her voice small.

Rolling to the side so she could face her cousin, Kat immediately agreed. “I’d love to stay with you Annie. But we should probably change into pajamas. And you need to eat something for dinner.”

Kat started to get up, but Anne pulled her back down, hugging her tightly. “No, Cousin Cuddles first.”

“Cousin Cuddles are the best cuddles,” Kat mumbled contentedly.

Before they knew it, both cousins had fallen asleep together, safe and sound.

----------------------------------------

Tag list:

@radcowboyalmondtree@boleynhowards@annabanana2401@babeebobo@dont-lose-your-queerhead@everything-insanity

[concerningwolves]

currently having a very long, loud and exhausting argument with my intrusive thoughts while filling in a form for a doctor’s appointment. it’s just this constant loop of –

“if it’s such a big problem why haven’t you gone to the doctor about it before now? clearly it isn’t that bad.”

i have! i went with pain in my wrist prior to my GCSEs. the doctor said he couldn’t see hypermobility in my notes and got me to do the test where you see if your thumb goes back to your wrist. my thumb doesn’t do that. he concluded i didn’t have hypermobility and told me to buy a wrist brace online as he wouldn’t be referring me for physiotherapy.

“yes but why haven’t you gone to the doctor now. that was years ago!”

because im scared! i’m fucking terrified at being shut down again! and im angry and tired and a whole host of other emotions. i’m learning now that the paediatrician i had for my entire childhood was, in fact, shite. she wrote off every single complaint we ever brought her as anxiety, despite my diagnosis at birth with a rare genetic disorder. i’m playing catch-up for eighteen years of medical negligence and nobody seems willing to listen to my concerns or help me get a diagnosis; most of them seem to want to take away the diagnoses i have already instead of helping me.

“see! you’re just looking for a new diagnosis to be ~ special ~”

no i’m literally trying to find out why i’m in constant pain, my joints are always crunching and slipping out of place, and i live with brain fog all the time??

“ah but if it’s the problem you say it is, the fact still stands that you’ve managed this long without a doctor’s help. so why bother? why not just keep managing until this flare goes away? you don’t really need help that badly.”

then rinse and repeat with slight variations (read: even crueller intrusive thoughts) until i want to scream. it’s like my brain is punishing me for purchasing some finger splints because the website advertised them as aids for hEDS and “you don’t have EDS. your dietician and your paediatrician both brushed it aside, remember?” and i just,,,, wish the brain gremlins would kindly fuck all the way off.

[star-captain]

So Much Better

Angst? Yes please! I’ve had the honor to give Red’s au life, to create a story around his amazing artwork. And I can’t help but latch onto the dramatic scene of Edolas Mumbo meeting his Hermit self. 

The Edolas team has found themselves in the Hermit world, and are meeting people with the same face, but different personality. Edolas Mumbo’s insecurities rise and boil over when he comes face to face with a better version of himself.

Edolas AU belongs to @theguardiansofredland

Warning: Alcoholism, Violence, drug mention

It’s been some time since the hermits have been open to visitors from other worlds. A new world can be stressful, and it’s best just to keep to themselves while they sort it all out. Better to deal with their own chaos before adding in someone else’s. But eventually, trouble finds them. 

From the Edolas world, it was just natural to explore what’s beyond. Xisuma makes it impossible not to be curious about what’s on the other side of his crazy portals he macgyvers together. And when Scar ultimately pushes Mumbo in, Grian has to jump after. Everyone else follows in after, with Impulse being dragged in last by an overzealous Zedaph. Black ground bursts out from the portal, massive stone pillars capturing the energy of floating crystals between the tongs. Purple mist swirls beneath the glass at their feet, every so often lightning snapping across the cloudy air. 

“Oh, that definitely didn’t take long.” Scar chuckles, peering over the nether portal. “Though I definitely was expecting visitors of the more...pig variety.” 

“Scar?” Edolas Grian coos, tilting his head and looking at the man above the crowd. He has the exact same face, the same voice as Scar, but he acts completely different. He’s...well, he’s cheery, friendly. 

“That’s not me man.” Edolas Scar growls, looking at the dopey version of himself before him. 

“Aha! I knew it! Alternate Universes! Worlds with the same people, experiencing different choices!” Edolas Xisuma scrabbles up the smooth obsidian monument, practically hopping onto Scar and scaring the daylights out of him. “They are obviously nothing like us! I mean, this Scar here is in his underwear!” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault the infinity portal forgot my pants!” Scar whines. He looks across the group, pushing the feral scientist off his perch. They all look like his friends, and yet nothing like the other hermits. It’s creepy. It’s cool. It’s magical. “You should definitely check out the other hermits, then. They’re a pretty awesome bunch, if I do say so myself.” 

“If they’re anything like you, they’re bound to be strange.” Mumbo grumbles, keeping close to Grian. He’d rather just go back to his world. He doesn’t want to meet with whatever there is out in this world. And he definitely doesn’t want to see what his alternate self is like. If he’s nothing like Mumbo, then he’s obviously not cool. He’s obviously a dork, a baby. He’s probably...Mumbo shakes the thoughts away from his head. He’s not letting those thoughts give themselves credence. If only he had some vodka on him, there’s no faster way to get rid of such thoughts. 

So of course the first person Scar offers for them to see is this world’s Mumbo. “I think him and the other Architechs are doing some sort of get together. I know Iskall and Mumbo are partners, but I don’t know what Grian has to offer. Cactus maybe?” 

“Why would this place’s Iskall want to partner with Mumbo? I can hardly stand this jackass.” Edolas Iskall sneers, glaring at Mumbo. Mumbo flips the bird back, hiding it from Grian. He knows Grian doesn’t like getting into arguments, but Mumbo thrives off conflict. He tries to keep it hidden from his friend. To keep him from getting anxiety from the tension. 

“Mumbo is a really cool dude. Trust me, his work is amazin. “ Scar cheers, guiding the crew into the depths of the jungle, heading westward. “He’s super smart, he makes these machines that just blow my mind with all kinds of redstone.” 

“Definitely the opposite of our Mumbo. I don’t think he can count to ten...unless it’s ten shots.” Edolas Scar hisses, stepping way too close to Mumbo’s personal space for his liking. Mumbo shoves him away, muscles tightening as he listens to Scar talk. Both Scars are beyond annoying, for different reasons. The Scar Mumbo knows is annoying because he’s a prick, a jackass who can’t shut his mouth unless it’s broken for him. This ‘hermit’ Scar is annoying because he won’t be quiet about things. He won’t stop talking about all the amazing achievements that his Mumbo has done. An entire company with automated delivery, walking houses and hands-free machines. 

The more Scar talks about Hermit Mumbo, the more Edolas Mumbo hates him. He’s smart, and popular. Even this Scar likes him. Mumbo, on the other hand, struggles to even keep Grian around. Why would Grian want to stay around him? He’s not smart, or popular. He’s not jubilant or silly like this one seems to be. No, Edolas Mumbo is a piece of shit with nothing good to his name. The only thing he’s smart on is the best kind of drinks and drugs, he’s only popular when it comes to seducing people. 

The group arrives at the quiet river, the potatoes growing before the circular hovel nestled in the hillside. Across the river, a series of machines are running at lightning pace. Xisuma can’t help being drawn to the inventions, optimized to give the best products in the shortest amount of time. Iron farms working nonstop, sugarcane growing as fast as possible, and a smelter cooking without a single coal wasted. 

“Hey Mumbo! I have some friends that would love to meet you!” Scar yells, poking his head through where a door should be. It seems Scar isn’t the only one to fall victim of the Jungle Bandit. 

“I wouldn’t say ‘love’.” Mumbo hisses. He winces as Grian slaps his shoulder lightly. 

“Be kind, Mumbo. We’re guests, and you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.” Grian whispers. 

Three familiar faces peer out the massive glass window. All three are easy to identify, though some more than others. Iskall still has his emerald eye, but rather than an eternal frown on his face, his cheeks are creased with dimples. Grian has an evil glint in his eye, practically rushing down the ladder to meet the strangers at the doorstep. 

The two Mumbo’s simply stare at one another. The same face, same black hair and smooth mustache, on completely different people. Hermit Mumbo’s hair is slicked back, neat and tidy. His mustache is well trimmed, and he wears a well tailored suit. Edolas Mumbo’s hair sticks out in every direction, like he just woke up from a drunken stupor. Probably because he did. Piercings litter his face, cool metal brushing against his frazzled mustache and hair. Mumbo looks at his clothes, dirty and stained with alcohol and...well, other things. He just grabbed whatever was the least dirty, wore it out to party last night then fell asleep in it. 

Hermit Grian flies up, locking in on his counterpart. Edolas Grian squeaks, hiding behind Mumbo. “Whoa, I look good in every world.” 

Grian tugs on his bowtie, gulping as he dares to look closer at himself. Hermit Grian can barely keep still, bouncing from foot to foot and even fluttering the elytra wings on his back. Mumbo steps back between the two, seeing the mischievous glitter in Hermit Grian’s eyes. He’s seen that kind of trouble before. This one is a little shit. A gremlin. Nothing like the ball of anxiety behind him. Edolas Grian couldn’t even knock over a punching bag without apologizing. 

Hermit Grian looks up, surprised by the angry face. He’s not sure if he’s ever seen Mumbo make that kind of a stare. Daggers cutting through him, like some terrifying biker or punk rocker. “I don’t know if I like Mumbo with ear piercings however.” 

“Tough, because they’re staying.” If anything, now he wants to get more. Just to spite the gremlin in front of him. 

“You’re me?” Mumbo questions, appearing from his hobbit hole. “Wow...I look...I look…” Mumbo is at a loss of words, glancing over his Edolas counterpart. He looks badass, like some guy who knows how to find trouble and win. He’d make a better mole than Hermit Mumbo. 

But under the gaze of Hermit Mumbo, Edolas Mumbo can feel every part of him being scrutinized. His sloppy dress, the alcohol on his breath. Every insecurity, every vice and weakness is under a microscope. 

“This is the man of the hour, let me just say. I mean, look at this awesome iron farm he just built!” Scar waves the group over to Mumbo’s work. “How many iron ingots does it make?” 

Hermit Mumbo scuffles his feet, blushing. “Oh, something like 3,000 ingots and hour. It’s not the fastest, but it’s more than enough for me.” 

Mumbo rolls his eyes as the others gasp in awe. What a waste of energy. Who even needs 3,000 ingots? Mumbo can think of a thousand better things to waste his time on than making such ridiculous contraptions. Hermit Mumbo is just lazy. Smart, smarter than Edolas Mumbo, but surely he’s lazy. 

At least, until he starts to show his current project. Edolas Grian gravitates towards Hermit Mumbo, enjoying the calm and funny personality. And that infuriates Mumbo. Even his best friend things this useless brainiac is better than him? Grian points at the half-finished machine, in awe with wide eyes. Wrapped into the conversation. “What does this do, Mumbo?” 

Hermit Mumbo goes into some long winded explanation, and the second Mumbo hears his own voice, he tunes out. But he can’t help but watch as his own friends are rapt with Mumbo’s words. Xisuma is taking notes at a feverish pace, and even Scar is listening to the suited version of Mumbo. 

No one is better than me. Mumbo reminds himself. He may not be as smart, or as popular, or as funny, or as kind as Hermit Mumbo. But he’s cooler. He’s sly, he’s independent, he’s the life of the fucking party. This guy… this guy can’t stop talking about t-flops or whatever. 

Edolas Mumbo sneers as Edolas Scar looms close, resting his arm on Mumbo’s jacket. “Would you look at that. Even your best friend prefers this version to you.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Mumbo steps back, letting Scar fall flat on his face. But Mumbo looks at Grian, both Grians listening intently to Mumbo show off his spectacular knowledge. The machine starts to fire, turning the farm on and beginning it’s collection. 

Even he is better than me. Mumbo can’t build incredible designs, machines that make life easier, that astonish and astound. Machines that Mumbo could never even begin to imagine, much less build himself. He can hardly even get the key of his own apartment into the lock most days. Mumbo can’t make friends, even the people he hangs out with most would rather eat fermented spider eye than call him an ally. He’s not funny unless he’s got a cocktail of drugs mixing up his mind and body. And the last thing anyone, even Grian, would call Mumbo is kind. He’s an asshole, a bastard. A rubbish friend and an even more rubbish person. A waste of space. A waste of time, a waste of effort.

Mumbo rolls his eyes, but he hears Edolas Grian’s bright voice over the amazement of the others. “You’re so cool, Mumbo! You can make all this incredible stuff, and you’re smart enough to explain it all. And kind enough to show us it all, I can’t imagine thinking of all this. This has to be why so many people ask you for help!” 

Edolas Mumbo can hear something snap, like a bone breaking in his own mind. His own heart. Grian never called him smart, or kind. No one has ever called him anything except a bastard, or a fucker, or an asshole. He hardly feels his fists clench, looking at his own face. How long has Mumbo wanted to punch himself, to beat himself up? To give him what he deserves? How often has he looked in the mirror, drunk and high, and just wanted to knock himself out? 

“Oh, it’s nothing really, mate. I’m honestly not that good, you should see something like Impulse.” Hermit Mumbo overs a shy smile, eyes closed as he smooths back his hair. His awkward chuckle is cut short as a rough grip wraps around his neck. Hermit Mumbo’s legs kick out as the raging grip raises him from the grass. He forces his eyes open, hand grabbing at the tattooed arm- of himself. 

“Stop being better than me!” Edolas Mumbo shouts, fists shaking and a prick of tears burning at the corners of his eyes. Mumbo looks down the arm holding him up, head tipped high but eyes glancing down to see his own face. He gasps for air, holding onto the arm suspending him in the air. And despite being physically in peril, he can see that he’s not the one suffering as much as Edolas Mumbo. In shared grey eyes, he can see the pain, the fear. 

Edolas Mumbo is terrified. Everyone thinks this Mumbo is so much better- because they’re right. He is a thousand times better than him. Scar prefers him, Xisuma prefers him. Even his best friend, Grian, prefers this Mumbo to him. They’ll ditch Mumbo in no time, in lieu of so much better a version. He’s nothing compared to the amazing, perfect person he has grasped in his hand. He’s just a bastard, someone that everyone hates. Someone that everyone wants gone. 

“Mumbo! Stop it, what are you thinking?” Both Mumbos look over, seeing Edolas Grian with tears streaking down his face. Torn between wanting to tell his friend off for being so aggressive, and wanting to calm him down. But for Edolas Mumbo, seeing his best friend crying because of him lets him know that he’s done it again. He’s fucked it all up again, because he can’t handle his own emotions. He can’t control himself, he can’t be anything except a piece of shit and a walking disaster. 

Mumbo let’s go of his own neck, lightly setting Hermit Mumbo onto his feet. The tiny tears have grown to full floods, guilt and regret and hatred all boiling over. Despite the soft landing, Mumbo still falls to his knees, trying to regain control of his heartbeat and body. He looks up, wanting to ask himself what the problem was. Why he was more afraid than Hermit Mumbo. 

But he’s gone, a cavity bored through the crowd that surrounded him. Hermit Grian steps in, looking at Mumbo’s neck. It’s red, but not bruised. Despite the anger in Edolas Mumbo’s grip, he couldn’t bring himself to actually hurt another person for no reason other than wanting to bring pain to himself. Grian looks at the shaking Grian. “I think he needs some help.” 

---------------------------

“Mumbo?” Grian whispers, peeking his head into the empty bar. It’s midday, but he knew that if Mumbo was going to go anywhere, it was here. This is his favorite haunt, where he can get the cheapest prices on drinks, find the best new addictions, and hit up the next morning’s mistake. 

There’s only two people in the dark, smoky bar. The bartender, who nods to the end of the line of stools. The darkest corner. Mumbo is surrounded by an assortment of bottles, shots, and whiskey glasses. Mumbo’s head is against the glistening and sticky counter, hand still clutching the current bottle. Grian creeps closer, clambering onto the stool next to Mumbo. 

“I thought you’d rather be with that perfect version of me.” Mumbo growls, turning his gaze away from his friend. “And why wouldn’t you, huh?” 

“Mumbo, I-” Grian flinches back as Mumbo snaps at him, cutting him off. He can smell the alcohol on his breath. This may not be the first time Grian has had to help Mumbo through a bout of alcohol poisoning. Hopefully he won’t need the hospital this time. 

“Just leave me, get something better than this piece of shit. Someone smarter than me, kinder than me. Someone who can actually do something useful with their life. Who’s good at so many things. Redstone, being nice, being funny and friendly and smart and such a great person!” Mumbo grasps the bottle in his hand until the glass shatters, shards digging into his skin. Grian has never seen his best friend so low. He’s afraid, not for his own safety. For Mumbo’s. “And what am I good at? Nothing. Nothing except overdosing in an alley outside a bar.” 

Mumbo’s head snaps to the side, cheek stinging and burning red. His eyesight is set straight, free from the drunken stupor for just a moment. Just enough to look back, and see Grian. With his hand still up, and his face creased with sorrow and tears. Deep valleys as he holds back his own cries. Not because he’s sad for himself. But sad for Mumbo. “How could you say such a thing? How could you honestly think that any of us would want you any different than who you are?” 

“Because he’s-” 

“Because he’s you? He’s not you, Mumbo. He’s got a different world, a different life. A different place that he grew up in. A different set of vices and worries than you.” Grian scoots the stool closer, forcing Mumbo to listen. “He’s smart, and kind. But that doesn’t make us ever want to get rid of you! You are wild, and clever, and there’s not another person in this world that would step into a fight for any one of us. Even for Scar, if it came down to it.” 

“Great, so I’m just you guys’s bodyguard.” Mumbo hisses, looking at the glass buried in his fingers. 

“No, Mumbo! Just...for once listen to me, for fuck’s sake!” The sharp curse that crosses over Grian’s lips is enough to snap Mumbo back to his words. Grian never swears, he’s too much of a goody-two-shoes for that. “We are your friends because we want to be! We hang out with you because we enjoy it! Just because one person is different than you doesn’t mean you’re any better or worse!” 

Mumbo’s voice is gone from his lips, and all he can do is breathe in and out. He can’t think of any retort for Grian’s words. Just one thing. “I messed up, Grian.” 

“We all mess up. But the important thing is learning from it. Learning from our mistakes, and being better from it. Maybe...one day we can go back and smooth things over with Hermit Mumbo. But...for now, let’s get you some help.”

[spiritmaiden23]

Writing preferences

------------------------------------------------------

Seeking: Fun threads! Very vague I know but I want all sorts of threads that I can have under the sun! You name it I’ll more than likely go along with it esp if it’s adventure!! AUs are always fun to explore too! One time, I made a viking verse for OOT Zelda so I’m thinking of bringing over that verse to here bc honestly, it was fun ;v; so like, that should give you the general idea of the kind of crazy fun AUs I’m always down for! Doing this for almost six years now and I realize I like threads with story and character building with potential for any sort of relationship it doesn’t matter what whether friends or family or what have you! Regardless, something has to be going on for me to be invested, I can no longer do threads where not much happens ;v; I don’t have the attention span anymore I’m afraid but I’m not opposed to doing threads of just simple talking since dialogue can be fun to write esp for this Zelda. My muse is: Zelda! No fancy pants princess title here, it’s Zelda just Zelda! And well, she’s the mortal reincarnation of the goddess Hylia and is the reason for why the royal family have goddess blood flowing through their veins ;v; but aside from that she’s just your ordinary girl next door! She’s very much like a shoujo heroine type of character, sticking up for people and having strong sense of loyalty and justice while also staying true to herself and though kind has no problem speaking up so that’s something to keep in mind when interacting with uwu girl over here. She’s pretty playful and because she doesn’t have to worry too much about keeping up with appearances like royals tend to, has no problem with indulging in her inner gremlin energy because at the end of the day all Zeldas are gremlins in one way or another. And well, all Zeldas are cute I have no right saying that sky is the cutest of the cute but... still, she’s pretty cute! Main verse takes place during the events of the game where she’s traveling around The Surface trying to recover her memories as Hylia ;v; post verse is after the events of the game where she remembers everything and while lowkey sad she’s still the same old prep and is just happily guarding the Triforce while helping everyone settle on The Surface which is later called Land of Hylia... I think... I do have verse for before the events of SS too though!  My muse gets along poorly with: Just don’t be Demise lmao!!! AKA power hungry for destruction and world domination she will shut that shit down soon as she can. I mean, she did die in her past life doing that pft. I’d... say... she’d probably have a weird relationship with Gods and immortal beings in general who have lost their compassion due to eternal life, it’s not really their fault for not having the same morals as humans do and she understands this since at one point she had that mind frame BUT it’s something that’ll bother her regardless considering how she didn’t at all like how Hylia just used Link and by extension her mortal self like chess pieces or the fact that the golden goddesses more or less do the same it’s a rabbit hole. She’s gained a human heart living as a human so. Yeah!  Desired genres: ADVENTURE!! FANTASY!! whispers: romance but like really I can take or leave it.  Avoided genres: Anything too dark for the sake of edgy I guess? Yeah, that seems about right!  Desired thread types:  Me looking at the desired genres..... yeah... OH WAIT YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE HELLA COOL THO?! Something having to do with dark fantasy with minor gothic horror elements to it. I feel like dark fantasy would be a fun concept to try and explore and like while I can do it with witch verse maybe something with more extensive story to it? Hold on, I may be onto something here I NEED TO BRAINSTORM A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THIS COME BACK TO ME IN A DAY OR TWO HDASHJVBKDSB.  Mun: A total fucking weirdo who’s like.... as smart as a harem protag ok, I am dumb. Very dumb. I lack braincells. While I do have social anxiety I more or less try to fight that by hiding behind caps lock, there are days where I’m like “oh god they hate me” and I just sorta shut down BUT YEAH!! That is all you need to know about me.  Activity: It all depends on work and my health and IRL despite the pandemic going on I do have other hobbies ;v;  Icons/Formatting: I don’t really format because LAZY, I just use tiny text due to the fact that I can sometimes go ham with writing and I don’t want to clog up dash. As for icons they’re just basic 100x100 ranging from the game to sometimes fanart but not really. I MOSTLY TRY TO STICK TO GAME ICONS IF I CAN!! 

[jadekitty777]

Pier

Sorry I’m late y’all! Day 3 was not technically finished and I originally planned to just split the entry into two chapters and maybe finish this one off later but... instead my dumb ass was like: No! Finish it!

So I did and now it is past midnight. I am very tired and things may not be edited properly.

I also gave up the secret on this one to a few readers... this entry is actually a continuation to Umbrella, which I had written a few weeks back. I do recommend reading that one first.

Day 3: Family

Dedicated to: @chiherah/@chiherahcreations

Rating: K+

Pairing: Qrow/Clover, Raven/Tai/Summer

Word Count: 5k

Ao3 Link: Pier

Summary: Every year, it was a tradition for Qrow to head up to Lake Bowen and spend the holidays with his sister's family. It was not, generally, tradition to bring a boyfriend along for the ride. [Modern AU]

~

Qrow flicked on his turn signal, fingers drumming a nervous rhythm over the steering wheel as he waited for the light to turn. Usually, he was relieved once he’d hit this stoplight, as it acted as a beacon marking the last leg of the grueling four-and-a-half hour drive it took to get from his little apartment in Wilmington to his sister’s grand cottage in Lake Bowen. It was a chance to finally stretch out his legs and get tackled down by his little gremlin nieces who would spend the majority of the next three days begging to know what he got them for Christmas. He’d get a glass of iced tea and a hug from Tai and a kiss on the cheek and a cookie from Summer before they both banished him from the kitchen. Spent the better part of the waning afternoon munching on finger food while catching up with Raven and entertaining Yang and Ruby as they tried to tug him into half a dozen different games.

At least, that’s how it was supposed to go.

But typically he didn’t have someone else with him.

“Everything alright?” That same someone else who had also easily picked up on his growing anxiety.

“Yeah, fine.” He said gruffly, turning left as the light finally changed.

“That was convincing.” There was a rustling as Clover set aside the newspaper he’d been reading (the dork had to be one of the last of the dozen living humans left to have a subscription), turning his full attention on him. “Come on babe, what’s on your mind?”

He glanced at him and it was a mistake, because there was no way he could argue when looking into those earnest teal eyes – especially when looking through those cute, wire-rim reading glasses. He sighed, fingers starting up their drum solo once more. “I just want this week to go well.”

“Why do you think it won’t?”

“Because,” He faltered, chewing on the edge of his lip. “My sister’s side of the family isn’t exactly what you’d call normal.”

“So you’ve said, about a thousand times.” Clover replied, “And as I’ve said a thousand and one times, it’s fine. I’m not gonna start judging the people you love just because they aren’t a traditional nuclear family.”

Qrow gave a noncommittal hum. Kept drumming.

He wasn’t really worried about that – though, he didn’t quite forget the nightmare when one of his partners tried to exposit some ‘helpful advice’ about the Rose-Xiao Long-Branwen family’s living situation. Raven had near about shoved the carving knife in Kimi’s chest when she tried to enlighten to Summer how three people sleeping in the same bed will give the children questionable ideas. After getting thoroughly screamed at by three furious adults, his girlfriend had run out of the house in tears – and stole his car to get away from his ‘crazy fucking family’. It had taken him a good two months to get it back, and he certainly didn’t get her back with it. Not that it was a great loss.

Come to think of it, that disaster was the last time he’d braved bringing anyone by at all. Ruby hadn’t even been talking yet.

“Alright,” Clover’s voice broke him from his thoughts. “Let’s try something different. What’s the biggest thing you’re afraid of?”

“Snakes.”

A snort. “Qrow.”

“I mean, it is.” He guaranteed. “They’re scaly and slithery and gross and Raven put one in my bed when I was ten and I never forgave her for it.”

Clover gave his arm a light smack. “About the meeting, birdbrain.”

Qrow rolled his eyes. “Oh, bird insults, how original.”

“I’m a classics kind of guy.”

“You are not Mr. I-haven’t-seen-anything-made-before-the-80s.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

He opened his mouth, then shut it. Frowned at the street they were driving over. “It’s just, what if they don’t like you?”

His boyfriend tilted his head. “All of them?”

His fingers clenched over the wheel. “What if you don’t like them?”

“All of them?” He echoed with a touch more amusement.

He grunted, slouching low. “Okay I get it, I’m being dumb.”

“No, you’re not. It’s normal to be stressed out about this. I was just trying to point out your fears are probably getting the better of you. Do you really believe all of us are going to just hate each other?” Clover refuted gently. Qrow liked that about him, how he could so easily retrack his mind out of the harmful places they tended to journey to.

“Maybe not all of you. But Raven? Definitely.” He grunted. “She hasn’t liked a single person I’ve dated, ever.”

“Um.”

He shot him a look. “What?”

Clover grinned guiltily in return. “We’ve talked about some of the people you’ve dated and your track record isn’t the best.”

Mildly offended, he snipped back, “Oz was a good one!”

“The guy with four kids?”

“It wasn’t that he had four kids, it was that he lied about having four kids.” When all he got was an arched a brow as if to say ‘that’s better?’, Qrow scowled. “Shut up.”

Clover laughed. It wasn’t long before he was laughing with him. He liked this about him too, how an air of comfort always seemed to surround his boyfriend. He was always ready to lighten the mood with a joke, a smile or his laugh, which even after the seven months they’d been dating, Qrow was still utterly captivated by. More than that, he was slowly coming to the realization he didn’t want to go a day without it – or without Clover.

He knew things were getting serious, which was why he so desperately needed this week to go well. He needed his family to support his new relationship and he needed Clover to accept his strange little family. Because if he got those two simple things, then he would see there was a possibility for a future in which Clover was part of his family.

He knew that fateful meeting was coming closer as he spotted the last landmark they had to cross before they would find themselves at the house. “There’s the bridge.”

As they started over the lake, it was comically cartoonish how he could practically see the sparkle effect in Clover’s eyes as he plastered his face against the window. With no traffic behind them, Qrow slowed the car down to give him a chance to really take it in.

Once, when he’d been invited on yet another date to the beach, he’d joked that Clover was just like his namesake because, as a weed, it was only natural he’d want to suck up as much of the surrounding water as possible. It wasn’t just the sea he was completely enamored by, but also lakes, ponds, rivers, marshes, and anything and everything in between. Heck, even their first true meeting was thanks to his obsession – Clover eventually admitted the only reason he’d left early that day was because he wanted to go out and enjoy the rain.

“As luck would have it, I got to enjoy some great company along with it.” He had said with a wink.

Qrow wouldn’t say he necessarily understood it, but it was impossible not to enjoy the excited way Clover would go on about subglacial lakes or tell stories about how he used to catch newts whenever spring came around and tried to keep them as pets. Topics that he probably would otherwise have found boring was different seeing it through the lens of someone so passionate – and Qrow knew he was just the same whenever he talked about fencing or birds. He still recalled the night their interests made a rare alignment, when they ended up having a long talk about Kingfishers.

He knew if he told anyone about that night, they’d probably just laugh and tell him how dull it sounded. And yet, for him, it remained as one of his favorite dates.

“Man, how incredible it must be just to live out here.” Clover said after they’d made their way across, the lake giving way to land once more and opening into a very small business district. “How does your sister’s family afford it?”

“It’s inherited. Tai’s uncle willed it to him when he passed.” He took a left, heading up towards the lakeside neighborhood. The street itself narrowed considerably, and spindly, white-trunked ash trees flanked them from either side.

“His uncle did?” He echoed, not hiding his confusion.

“Yeah. I don’t know all the details but he basically raised him. So, I guess he was more like his surrogate dad than anything.” Qrow explained, feeling his anxiety spike as the two-story dwelling peeked between dense vegetation. “Heh, actually I’m pretty sure that’s why Tai’s so insistent I come visit so much. He probably invites me over more than my own sister does.” Scratch that, he definitely did.

He pulled down the driveway to the garage situated in the back. As the house was on the waterside, the front was facing towards the lake and the driveway and garage were in the rear. It was a bit strange, but he’d gotten used to it over the years, just like he’d gotten used to the fact the dwelling was one of the most unique in the neighborhood. Made to appear like a log cabin, it seemed more suited for a place in the middle of the woods or up in the mountaintops. Tai’s little sunflower garden framed either side of the doorway, and bushes of roses and birds of paradise were interspaced down the west and eastern sides of the house. From memory, he remembered the front had a large porch with an overhang and a path made of stones that led from the door down to the small, privately owned pier.

The engine was cut, and he heard the passenger door opening - but Qrow stared blankly at the dash, hoping the next ten seconds would be enough to mentally prepare him for the next seven days.

“Hey. Look at me.” Clover’s larger, tanner hander covered his own, thumb brushing over his knuckles that had whitened from their too-tight grip on the wheel. It took him a moment to tear his gaze from the touch to actually do as asked, and was consoled by the tender, reassuring smile his boyfriend gave him. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “How are you so calm about this?”

“’Cause I’ve got you at my side. Just knowing you’re with me gives me courage.”

The words made his heart stutter. It stuttered again when Clover lent forward to kiss him. His eyes slipped closed, giving back as much as he was given. The strength he’d been looking for filled him so that when they finally pulled away and exited the car, the knot that had been in the pit of his stomach had loosened its hold considerably. Just in time, as faint barking from inside definitely announced their arrival, drawing his attention to the back door.

A second later, the screen door came flying open as his youngest niece came barreling out of it, screaming at the top of her lungs, “UNCLE QROW’S HERE!!”

It was hard to tell if the snickers on the other side of the car were from the seven-year old’s antics or perhaps from her odd sense of fashion, as she was sporting a long, red bathroom robe that he swore was Raven’s, what appeared to be an old Flash costume from Halloween, and a pirate’s hat. As she came racing towards him, he realized she also had on light-up shoes.

He lent down, scooping Ruby up and lifting her effortlessly. “Hey there pipsqueak.”

She snuggled into his shoulder. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He kissed the top of her head. “So, what’s with this little getup?”

She pulled at the loose belt meant to hold the robe closed. “Mama said you might need saving, so I dressed the part.”

“Did she now?” He carefully kept the annoyance off his face but oh, was he so getting his sister back for that.

“Uh-huh! I’m Rapid Ruby, at your service!” She tipped her hat.

Before Qrow could think up an appropriate response, a coo of ‘Ooh who’s this little guy?’ drew his attention towards his boyfriend. The man was kneeling on the ground, accepting little licks from what was certainly not a little guy. In fact, it had to be the fattest corgi he’d ever seen in his life. The poor thing was shaped exactly like a swiss roll cake and colored like one too.

“That’s Zwei! Mommy brought him from her office.” His niece chirped brightly, but when Clover looked up at her, she shrunk against Qrow’s neck, trying to hide. His hero.

He rubbed her back soothingly. “Ruby, this is Clover. You remember me talking to you about him over the phone right?” She only gave a little whine. “He’s left-handed, like you.”

That got her to lift her face, looking at the man with a wary curiosity. “Do you have to use special scissors too?”

“I do.” Clover smiled at her, still kneeling on the ground so he appeared less threatening. Or maybe he just wanted to get more kisses from the dog, it was hard to tell.

“And can openers are dumb, right?”

“The dumbest.”

“And, and!” She tapped her chin, thinking hard. “Have you ever taken your mommy’s tea by accident during lunch and had to spit it out cause it’s gross?”

He chuckled. “Not tea, but I did take a swig of my dad’s whiskey once.”

Ruby spat out her tongue. “Yucky!”

“Yeah, it really was.”

“Well,” An orotund voice cut in. “It’s nice to see everyone getting along out here.”

Mostly content to just watch the two’s adorable exchange, Qrow hadn’t notice the newcomer who had stepped outside, a welcoming grin spread on Tai’s face as he approached.

Newcomers, he amended, as he spotted Raven watching them from the threshold.

He juggled Ruby carefully, holding out an arm to accept the side hug his brother-in-law gave him. “Good to see you brother.”

“You too. Glad you could make it.” Tai ruffled his hair before he pulled away to shake Clover’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you! Qrow’s told us a lot.”

“Likewise.”

Before things could potentially get awkward, Qrow cleared his throat. “So Tai, what’s with the cake roll?”

The blond glanced back at him, then down at the dog who plopped down at his feet. “Zwei? Someone dropped him off a few weeks ago. No tags or chip. And you know Summer, she just couldn’t leave him to starve in a cage.”

“Think starving’s the least of his problems.” He grumbled under his breath.

“She’s a vet, right?” Clover spoke up.

“Yeah, we run a little place together. But you’d swear, with how many animals get abandoned there that we’re actually the town shelter.” Tai joked. “We usually end up fostering the ones in need of special care.”

Ruby tugged at his shirt collar, excitement sparkling in her eyes. “Daddy says we’re gonna keep him.”

“No. Daddy said we will discuss keeping it.” Raven chided across the yard, still barring the door like a sphinx waiting for the right answer.

“But maaaa!” Ruby started to wiggle enough that Qrow let her down so she could run over and plead her case.

Now out of earshot, Tai lent over and whispered, “We’re putting a collar and leash in Yang’s stocking and some dog toys in Ruby’s.”

“Bet that thrills Raven.” He murmured back. She’d never been much of an animal person.

“It was her idea.” His eyebrows shot up in surprise, but before he could comment, his brother was slapping him on the shoulder, continuing on in a louder tone, “Alright, how ‘bout we get your guys’ stuff inside so y’all can settle in?”

While Raven brought Ruby and Zwei inside to keep them out of the way, the trunk was popped and the luggage pulled out. Between the three of them, they were able to juggle their bags and the box of gifts inside, the latter being dropped off next to the heavily decorated Christmas tree the moment they entered the great room. As Tai led them towards the stairs, Qrow took a peek at the archway that lead to the kitchen, and though he only caught the back of Summer’s head, he could smell the delectable scents of whatever she was preparing wafting in from here.

“We only have one guest room, so I apologize the accommodations aren’t the best.” Tai was saying after they’d set the bags inside the guest room. The words were entirely for Clover’s sake, as he never said them when Qrow came here alone. Perhaps because the room only housed one bed.

Clover was too preoccupied swooning over the window nook that overlooked the lake to notice such a trivial detail. “I think it’s perfect.”

What a dork. Qrow rolled his eyes, having to fight the smile from his face.

“So, Qrow tells me you like to fish.”

Oh god, now they were never going to shut up. While they chatted, Qrow ducked out of the room to use the bathroom. By the time he was passing by his room again, Tai and Clover were chatting about lure types, so he decided to make his way back to the ground floor, passing Zwei laying in his doggy bed by the couch, and entered into the kitchen where all the girls had collected in.

Raven was at one side, frosting sugar cookies before handing them over to Ruby who was sitting on the counter. Her job was to decorate each cookie with little chocolate chips, peppermint crunch, or cinnamon bites before setting them on the plate (and both were stealing candy pieces to munch on). Opposite them, Yang was standing on a stool to be tall enough to reach the counter, vigorously peeling through carrots before handing them off to Sumer, who chopped them into smaller pieces with the vegetable knife before adding them into a pot. The oven was on, the faint outline of a cooking dish the likely culprit of what he’d gotten a whiff of coming inside.

“Mmmm, I don’t even know where to start.” Qrow said more to announce his presence than anything.

“There you are, you scoundrel! Was beginning to think you weren’t gonna come say hello.” Summer chastised as she walked over to him, Irish accent thick as ever.

He knelt down to accept his cheek kisses. “Thought you woulda appreciated me not immediately invading your kitchen for once.” Tiny, strong arms found their way around his waist. He dropped his hand into golden curls, smiling down at his other niece. “Hey there firecracker.”

She pressed her chin into his ribs, giving him a stern stare that made her look so much like his sister. “I’m making dinner tonight, so you better like it!”

“I’m sure with you behind the helm, it’ll be wonderful.” He snorted. A threat as a greeting hadn’t been his expectation.

She was grinning now, giving one more, “You better!” before hurrying back to her station.

“She’s really excited.” Summer explained, following her. As he poured himself a glass of sweet tea from the pitcher sitting on the island, she asked, “So where’s yer lad? I was hoping to get a good gander at him.”

He leant back against the counter next to his sis as he replied, “Tai got him talking about fishing, so he’s never coming down.”

They were probably sharing different casting methods right now. Not that he could complain – he figured Clover would hit it off with Tai immediately. Similar hobbies aside, they both had easy-going, friendly personalities which tended to blend well with small talk. Knowing he’d also managed to get his shy niece to talk to him so freely was also a bit of a blessing.

But the real problem was the woman currently bumping her shoulder against his. “Fair warning, Tai’s been filling his pocketbook with every fish pun he can think of.”

“And you let him?” He squawked, utterly scandalized.

She replied, completely straight-faced, “They’re reel good.”

Qrow blinked. Blinked again. Deadpanned, “I’m not related to you anymore.”

“Good, get out.”

They glared at one another, the seconds ticking by.

Raven broke first, turning away to hide her smile.

“Hah, I win!” He took a cookie as his trophy.

“Mommy, they’re being dumb again.” He heard Yang murmur.

“Yeah, they’re a buncha dopes.” Though it was meant to be an insult, Summer’s tone was nothing but endearing.

Before Qrow could think of an appropriate comeback, the sound of heavy steps on the stairs and chatter drew attention towards the entryway.

“Then it just smacked me right in the face! I was so shocked it just fell right out of my hands and back in the water.” Tai was saying.

“Well that’s one way to lose a fish.” Clover laughed heartily.

As they entered the room, it was hard to miss the blond’s smirk as he replied, “It’s alright, I’m quite good at catching other types.”

“And dear, what other types are those?” Raven spoke up.

He winked her way. “Types like you babe.”

She looked unimpressed, but Summer started to giggle. “I mean, if you like swordfish.”

“Ut-! Excuse you! I’m a shark.”

Qrow snorted. “A goblin shark, maybe.”

“Careful, you’re in stabbing distance.”

He shifted away, just in case.

Tai was chuckling, nodding to her. “Clover, the shark is my lovely wife Raven and our daughter Ruby.” He waved to the other side of the room. “And this is my other lovely wife, Summer and our daughter Yang.”

“I’m the cook today!” Yang said proudly, brandishing a tiny knife at him. “You better like dinner!”

“Honey, don’t point with the knife. That’s rude.” Summer chastised.

“Oh, sorry.” She set it down to point with a carrot instead. “Now you better like dinner.”

To his credit, Clover managed not to laugh, only saluting her. “Yes ma’am. Thank you for your hard work.”

“Good. If you don’t lie about it, then I like you.” Yang decided before turning back to her work.

Her father pat her on the head as he walked by. “Clover would you like anything? Water? Sweet tea?”

“Water would be wonderful, thank you.” He replied, taking the opportunity to slip over to Qrow’s side.

“So, you’re an Irish lad?” Summer asked.

Qrow winced. He was afraid that would be the first thing she’d dig at. The other woman had been born and raised in Ireland, and had initially only come to the states to study Veterinarian work on an apprenticeship at Cornell Uni. She had had plans to return to her homeland – until she met Raven and Tai, both of whom were also studying at Cornell under a scholarship.

The rest of that incredible and confusing love story Qrow was told through long distance telephone calls while take his own, more modest level courses at UNC Wilmington. He remembered how certain he had been that the two were just pulling his leg the entire time until he actually had Summer standing right in front of him, rather than the ghost of a person his sibling and best friend were feeding him.

He’d liked her immediately. She was funny, quick-witted and extremely compassionate, especially towards animals (“Ravens especially,” she always joked). She was easy to get along with, even if she herself could be a bit meek – but touch anything about her culture with even a hint of pretentious air and a bit of her own brashness would come out as she happily kicked someone down a few pegs.

While trepidation settled in his gut, as inconspicuously as possible, he slid his hand into Clover’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

His boyfriend didn’t seem to share his worry, lips only quirking upwards, squeezing his hand back as he answered, “Yeah, on my mom’s side.”

“Did she name you for the shamrock or for the four-leaf clover?”

“The four-leaf.” He took the glass of water as Tai handed it to him, continuing, “I was uh, apparently not expected to make it to term, so my parents always considered me a ‘lucky’ birth. My mother thought naming me Clover was perfect because of that and her heritage. She didn’t know there was a difference. My pa actually told me it started this whole big feud between her and her grandparents because it had offended them so much.”

As they continued to converse, Qrow exhaled softly.

Any air left whooshed out of him as fifty pounds of child thumped against his back. “Uncle Qrooow, this is boring. Can we go play video games?”

“Uh,” He hesitated. He’d never really been one to deny his youngest niece, but he couldn’t just leave his boyfriend to the wolves, so to speak.

A thumb brushed along his knuckles. Clover was still preoccupied by whatever Summer was saying, but he gave him a side-eye and a small smile, before letting his hand go.

Taking that sign, Qrow conceded. “Alright kiddo, jump on.”

“Yes!” She clung to him as he hitched her onto his back and carried her out to the living room, where he let her pick the game.

They jumped around as bubble-blowing dragons until dinner.

~

Qrow liked to think of his vacation mornings as perfectly lazy.

He would roll out of bed maybe at 8 or 9, spend the next twenty minutes milling about sleepily as he took care of his bathroom routine and shuffled through what clothes he wanted to wear. He had it down to an art, wherein he was usually the last to make it downstairs and sometimes no one would see him until after 10. He’d probably benefit from setting at least one alarm so he could enjoy an extra few hours with his family every day – but why fix what wasn’t broken?

Problem was, when his bedmate was 90% of the reason he was staying warm at night and said bedmate was a ridiculously early riser, it was hard to stay asleep longer than twenty minutes past when he’d vacate the space.

So, Qrow found himself shuffling into the kitchen a little after 7, the smell of brewing coffee guiding him to the pot. Everyone else was bound to be awake soon, but for now the only other person in the room was his sister.

“Morning.” She greeted.

“G’mornin’.” He returned, fetching down a mug. “Where’s Clover?”

Raven inclined her head towards the window. “On the dock, somehow not freezing to death.”

He glanced out, seeing the dark outline of his boyfriend sitting right at the edge of the pier, waiting patiently for the sun to rise. He hadn’t even bothered to put on any additional layers, still in the tank top and shorts he’d gone to bed in.

Qrow had a feeling this would be the running theme for the week. With anyone else, he probably would have found it annoying; instead, all he felt was fondness.

The microwave beeping had his eyes pulling away, watching as his sister took out a mug of steaming water. As she steeped her tea, she said, “He’s a real interesting one.”

“Is that a lead in to how you’re about to tell me everything wrong with him?”

“Hmm, well,” She stretched out the word like a car engine getting ready to gun it down the street. “He’s got really stupid hair.”

Here we go. Qrow sighed. Turned away to pour his coffee as he waited.

And waited.

And…

…

He looked up from the cutlery drawer to her, seeing her watching him with unadulterated amusement. “Wait, that’s it?”

She shrugged. “That’s it.”

“You actually like him?”

“No.” She clipped easily. “He’s a bit too much of a model boy scout type and I think that’s annoying. But, I like the you that you are when you’re with him.”

He went back to his silverware search. “Uh, meaning?”

Raven rolled her eyes. “You’re happier with him, stupid.”

“Hold up.” Qrow waved a spoon in the air, “I’m calling bullshit on that one. I was happy with my other partners before this.”

“You also weren’t any less happy without them. It’s, just different, okay?” She ran a hand through her hair, “Tch, you know I’m not any good at this.”

For as little as his sister was saying though, he could hear the paragraphs hidden in between. She’d been with him his whole life; had seen every stupid decision he’d ever made. Like how he was convinced that Sienna was the love of his life when they were only seventeen and when she ultimately dumped him, he acted like his entire life was over. Or at twenty-one, when he had been so convinced that Roman was The One, he asked him to marry him only six months into their relationship – only to find out the guy had a criminal record. Then there were disasters, like Kimi.  Broken trusts, like Oz. Incompatibilities, like Winter, Robyn, Tukson.

There were joys in all of them – but looking back, he didn’t regret the breaks either.

“Nah, I get it.” Qrow stirred in the sugar. “Guess I’ve had pretty shit luck when it comes to relationships, huh?”

“It all went to the better twin.” She joked back, holding up her tea to cheer herself before taking a sip.

“Oh, mom and dad found a long-lost triplet?”

He only laughed when she smacked his arm, ducking away before she could potentially continue her assault, taking his coffee with him. Her call of “Jerk!” followed him as he slipped out the back door. They may have found it unbearable at times to live with each other, but it was comforting to know she still looked out for him. He would thank her later.

For now though, he walked the length of the porch, following the stone path that gave way to wood and finally ended at Clover.

“Didn’t expect to see you up so early.” He greeted as Qrow sat down beside him.

He took a sip of the coffee before setting the mug down on the post next to him. “Well, my space heater left, so I came looking for it.”

“Sorry about that.” Clover wound an arm across his shoulders, drawing him in. “Better?”

He looked out across the lake, where the water was reflecting the colors of the lightening sky. Took in the horizon breathing in a new day, welcoming them to experience it together.

Qrow melted against the other, sincerely vowing, “It’s perfect.”