#and the bit about wanting to know how things end is interesting

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

I wouldn't mind if you wanted to share your feelings/thoughts on the Louis matter. I always liked reading what you had to say. I did notice that that tweet seemed to be the last straw for a lot of people in terms of keeping quiet about a lot of stuff that's been bothering them for a while. Also the fact you've been sort of away from it for a while means you'd have a more balanced and less heated perspective haha

yeah, ig that's true...... i was thinking of my perspective as incorrect bc i was so far from all of it but maybe it is an advantage. most ppl here know how much i've loved louis and for how long, so it's weird for me to admit how annoyed or even indifferent i've grown towards him. what i'm gonna say now is gonna piss some ppl off but ig i don't mind, but also pls keep in mind that this is literally just how i'm feeling, one single person somewhere on this globe. at this point i wish i cared less

i know that, for me personally, it's mostly been the tone of the fandom that has turned me off, which ofc has been fed by him: pretty superficial, about his looks, that have been pretty basic. empty platitudes about life, about being authentic without actually feeling real to me. oasis without the maniacal edge (which is what makes someone like liam gallagher intriguing). back when i felt like he really was still signalling it kinda felt like not a lot of people were genuinely interested in that part of him. like. im not here to thirst at a picture of that man im sorry i don't care how he did his hair and if that's all my dash is, i'll lose interest

another major reason, as well, is that i was projecting a lot onto him: memories of how he used to be (in public), ideas of how interested he is in queer history or his queer identity, how left-leaning or anti-establishment he is, etc. and some of that might be true but i can't see it in the way he profiles himself now, and i'm over the idea that i should be seeing through three thousand layers of his 'image' to the point where there is almost nothing that indicates that i've got the story straight yk. the way he wants to be seen is not the way i see him, so then it's me who's got to move on. i've accepted that gradually now to the point where it's so obvious i was lying to myself and pretending to love him more than i did for a while there. most of all, i was waiting for him to do something else, something more. if i then get annoyed bc he doesn't fulfill those imaginary expectations i've set, then that's on me. i'm annoyed now that i was wrong, but mostly that i was a bit delusional about him for a long while

and i get closets, i get the problems of the industry, i still know all of the things i knew when i was convinced that i should stand by him/them. that doesn't mean i have to pretend i like whatever he's doing with his solo career atm. i'm not going to another tour with red/black lighting and chicago songs, i've seen it by now. at the end of the day, i'm a fan of good (live) music, and i haven't listened to his solo stuff anymore since the obsession died down.

i was letting my feelings die down quietly for a while tbh and yeah, the recent stuff has really irked me. hinting at the new album and that it's going to be basically fitf all over again, tweeting that the fandom is toxic and for what? but before all that the new 28clothing collection, accompanied by the saddest fucking interview i've ever read about someone i wish i didn't care so much about.

at this point i don't know why im typing all of this out. what is the reason. i don't mean to make anyone angry. ig i just needed to vent, let these thoughts go. anyways. if he comes back with an album that wins me over again completely, then all i can say is that i'll be extremely happy.

[scalycat]

Any tips on how to draw Lucanis? Like your thought process? Yours is the most accurate I’ve seen and I’m in awe 🙇🏽‍♀️

Hello Anon!

I’m incredibly honoured that you like the way I draw Lucanis. I always try my best to get him right, and it can certainly be challenging sometimes.. Faces are one of the hardest things for me to draw. I often redo them again and again until I’m more or less satisfied, so I don’t know if I can really provide a method, but i can definitely share how I approach it if you're interested!

First I gather references. If the ref has the same angle as the face i’m trying to draw, it’s easier, but my process is the same either way: I start by drawing the basic structure of a face (1), and then I add what I think are Lucanis’ most « iconic » features. In my opinion, I think his hairline, nose (if side profile), and the shape of his beard are what make him very identifiable. (2)

I try not to be too attached to his in-game model, focusing only on certain aspects because If I try and stick too closely to my reference to get everything right, it often ends up looking very stiff and I lose the expression of the face. So I pick my battles...

Once I’m done with this, i refine the line a bit more (3) and that’s when I start changing the facial structure to match his. (I add more eyebrow muscle to get his frown right, I adjust the bump of his nose, the angle of his chin and forehead if I need to, I adjust the hair..) I do this step only now because if I try to get the proportions of a character right from the start, I find it a bit more challenging. I have to go through the process of creating a « regular » face first, and then I pimp it, haha.

For the parts of his face that I want to focus on, I try to find reference points on where and how they sit on the face :

Widow’s peak hairline on top, which sits very tightly on the temples. Little bump at the root of the nose, which goes down very straight. Beard has a little « wave » shape after the smile line zone. Etc..

I keep in mind his almond-shaped eyes as well but I don’t really give it a special focus.. (Sometimes the eyes are hard enough as they are, I just draw them randomly, slap some lashes and call it a day..) If i get to the coloring part, I like to add his bottom eyelashes and his signature dark cirlces, and that’s about it.

Here I only tried to get his beard and hair right, the rest was not my focus (for accuracy I mean). I don't know if this will be of any help to you anon, but in any case, good luck with your own art! And thank you again because you gave me a great excuse to draw a portrait of him haha!

[mangodestroyer]

Right? Idk if my lack of interest in many of these plots is because of my personal experience. I'm ND and AFAB, so no surprise, I've fallen victim to lots of bullying and general mistreatment. I also used to have really low standards regarding relationships and such (and I'm still working on overcoming this and building confidence). I used to think it was normal for people who "loved" me to hold resentment towards me and just be annoyed with/hate a bunch of things about me. Because, you know, "Relationships are messy," and "It means they care!" I'd also hoped that, with certain relatives and classmates who seriously seemed to have issues with me, I could finally "figure it out" and get them to like me one day. Nope!

I still have people in my life who, for whatever reason, decided that we need to be enemies. Idk why, and I don't care anymore. I just think it's weird and unnecessary. Like, we could just have a nice, peaceful work, dorm, school, apartment, etc., environment where everyone just does their thing and vibes, but nope! I guess that's too boring. We need to have conflicts and hierarchies! And hey, Mango's an odd individual who prefers to keep to themselves... let's disturb their peace! It will be so funny! It's not like you can avoid everyone who's like this either. People who have it in them to be this petty are EVERYWHERE! And I've certainly never entertained the idea of dating them. Yuck! I'd rather ignore/avoid them. I'm just grateful I've started having fewer issues with this as I've gotten older.

I'm not saying I dislike all the premises that pertain to enemies-to-lovers. I actually have a couple of story ideas that fall under this category. In one, they start out as enemies because of a very genuine misunderstanding. It's a demon hunter AU, where Crowley happens to be a very misunderstood demon because, well, everyone assumes demons are evil! There is no hate, though. Aziraphale is just fulfilling a duty, and Crowley does whatever he can to protect himself without harming the human (will only do so a little bit as a last resort). Aziraphale does his best to limit cruelty towards demons while slaying them. Knowing Aziraphale, he despises being a part of this in the first place. He'd much prefer living in a world devoid of this conflict, but he also knows he needs to protect other humans from demons. Most of them are an existential threat to humans, after all! So... it just makes sense! He's not going to understand that Crowley is innocent when he first encounters him in this context. Also, Aziraphale's always been "odd" compared to the other demon hunters. The irony is that, while they're supposed to be more virtuous than the demons they slay and the humans they protect, many of them end up having massive egos. They demand unconditional and constant worship from society. They don't view demons as thinking, feeling beings, so they sometimes think it's okay to show them cruelty and humiliation. They love to flaunt how powerful they are and make it known just HOW MUCH they contribute to society. So... perhaps Aziraphale and Crowley relate to each other in some ways.

Yep, it might be cliche. I just adore a misunderstood "enemy" who either isn't, or doesn't want to be an enemy. It seems so befitting for Crowley, too. He has so many half-hearted "evil plans" that aren't really all that evil and end up backfiring on him. So cunning, yet so clumsy. But also, he doesn't give a fuck! Neither does Aziraphale. Their most "violent" fights are probably the equivalent of one tapping the other with a pool noodle, and the other pretending to be dead.

My other idea needs time to develop, tbh. Who knows if it will even end up becoming a story?

I do appreciate how in canon, they were friends-to-"enemies"-to-still-friends-to-lovers. Really, more like friends-to-forbidden-lovers. And, like, while they do struggle with the taboos of what they're doing and the stupid expectations placed upon them, they are very much willing to question the "norms" of their celestial society.

I've never been all that fond of characters who enforce "traditions," "norms," or "rules." The protagonist so obsessed with following along with societal expectations that they become toxic. Or the enemies-to-lovers plots where the two characters act like they hate each other because they're secretly attracted to each other. It gives so many "conquering" vibes. Like, it's supposed to be some male p*wer f*ntasy where the guy ends up "taming" or "managing" the attractive woman with a temper. Or, "She's only worthy of him because even though he's a powerful asshole, she's the only one who can stand up to him!" Sounds... exhausting!

I sometimes wonder if Good Omens is refreshing because it shows a developed, healthy relationship constantly standing strong against the meddling of the outside world. So many people fall victim to peer pressure. So many people end up externalizing their baggage because... the world sucks! And so many of these awful behaviors are reflected through the media we consume. I was in a toxic relationship myself when I first watched GO. Before watching this TV show, I had been normalizing SO many things my partner was doing that, deep down, I KNEW weren't good for me! After seeing how wholesome Azicrow was... I started questioning things a lot more. I thought back to when it seemed my relationship was happy, and when my (now ex) acted like they had so much in common with me, and at the time seemed very compatible. Why couldn't it just stay like that? Why did my ex slowly do a 180 personality-wise? I'd decided, from that point forward, I didn't want to settle for anything that wasn't the cute, wholesome relationship I saw on the screen that day. Hey, maybe it's unrealistic. I've met plenty of people with messy love lives. I don't envy them. Maybe that's just "the norm." But I'm still keeping my standards for what company I keep around very high. I know what I want. And I know that what I don't want just isn't good for me. Thankfully, I have a handful of people in my life who are delightful to be around. It hasn't been easy finding them!

I often think about the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale were basically smitten with each other from day one. Most other shows would, I think, have gone a pretty straightforward "enemies to lovers" route with it, probably having them being directly hostile toward each other for a while before settling into some tense truce that eventually speedruns it's way into a passionate romance. Not Good Omens, though, they're too good for that.

Like, you know, they like each other IMMEDIATELY. On the wall around the Garden of Eden, watching Adam and Eve, freshly fallen courtesy of Crowley, wander off into the world to face the horrors, while they giggle with each other over silly jokes. Even then when, by all rights, they really SHOULD have been hostile to each other they just couldn't bring themselves to be.

Like, URGH I don't know if I'm expressing this properly but they've liked each other since the beginning and they never really bother pretending to be enemies other than the absolute minimum level of lip-service to their respective authority figures and it's just so...I don't know, so REFRESHING, at least for me who's watched/read waaaayyyy too many "enemies to lovers" things that tread over the same old ground.

It's just nice to see people who like each other from the get-go, you know? Without the media in question trying to convince us you can only have chemistry with someone if you start out disliking each other? It's nice.

[bunnyrights]

PAC - how would they court you?

how would the person you have in mind bag you? how would they show their interest? let's find out! (⁠◠⁠ᴥ⁠◕⁠ʋ⁠)

about me // paid readings

take a few breaths, focusing on being present, and ask yourself which group holds messages for you. you may be drawn to more than one!

group one

the cards: ace of pentacles + knight of swords + three of pentacles + three of swords

oh, you wouldn't doubt it at all that they were interested. they actually love the courting stage. they would make it known verbally that they're interested, and preferably on a phone call or in person. i see them as someone who doesn't believe in talking stages and situationships, so they would be very direct about their interest. they would get you small intentional gifts – i'm seeing a bouquet of flowers, even on a low stakes / low effort date – that would show that they're trying to charm YOU, not just charming someone for the hell of it. there's so much intention behind the process too; dates you want and an emphasis on making you comfortable enough to let them into your energy and eventually into your life. i'm seeing you may be quite guarded, but they are willing to work to gain your openness, even if they want you NOW. there's an energy of them having been played and exploited for their tendency to dote on who they're interested in, and rather than become a cynic, they're just slower in how they move towards you.

channeled song

group two

the cards: the magician + six of pentacles + three of wands + temperance

when you pique their interest, they wait and watch you from afar. they would patiently and very diligently gather small bits of information on you to court you accordingly. they have shapeshifter energy, but not in a malicious way. they observe in order to take the correct steps that will get them their desired outcome in everything they do, and love is no different. when you learn this about them, it becomes very clear when they have their eye on something and someone. they would be open to a wide array of discussions, primarily because they know people reveal a lot about themselves in even the most dull conversations, but only if you listen. their willingness to be serious and philosophical with you instead of their usual silly self (and honestly the reverse too; they're keenly aware that different personalities fit different types of environments) is a dead giveaway that they want to see how you engage with them as a person who is hard to pin down. there's a good chance they notice you're the same, and they're thrilled by what mutual attraction between you two would look and feel like.

channeled song

group three

the cards: judgment rx + three of pentacles + five of pentacles + ten of wands

they would be very hard to read, and it'd definitely be intentional on their end. there's an insecurity here about how vulnerable being obviously interested in someone makes them. they have had past experiences that have made them ultimately punish everyone they find themselves interested in now; they expect people to prove their loyalty to them before they make it known that they're interested. the odd thing is that they don't realise that this is what often pushes people away, which creates a self-fulfilling prophecy for them. they would be quick to make plans to see you and be lovely on dates, but they'd leave you a bit bewildered afterwards. i'm seeing someone who consciously takes their sweet time to respond to texts because they don't want to look thirsty, despite having seen it the moment they received it. they absolutely will be obsessive and lovey-dovey, but only when they feel you've passed their test and you can be trusted with that side of them.

channeled song

group four

the cards: four of swords rx + seven of wands rx + justice +

you'd be able to tell from how flustered you make them, omg 😭 when they're around you, they make it so obvious they're interested with more than just their words. i see someone who's quick to agree with you on things, not necessarily to manipulate you, but because they can tell you're opinionated and can't quite understand that disagreements don't necessarily mean incompatibility. ironically enough, they would prioritize making you feel safe and comfortable enough to speak your mind. i see they'd focus on dates that offer a chance to talk at length, and allow them a chance to sneak long glances at you unabashedly. they would definitely dress up to impress you, not just on dates – they'd want you to see them as hot so bad 😭 they may be just as opinionated as you are, so it's a big deal when they can let themselves "lose" the argument. they're also much more willing to hear you out over other people, and you may have people outright make that observation to you. favouritism from a strict person comes to mind.

channeled song

[astrolook]

🛰️Astro Observations - 4 (Rx Edition)🕵🏻‍♂️

Note: These are all my personal observations and patterns I've noticed over the years. Take what resonates with you more and leave the rest. Lemme know in the comments if it hits home!

Mercury Rx in Taurus people won't ask for help from others. They would rather starve than ask someone for money. In a group setting, these natives tend to paint themselves in a corner and won't add much to the convo or vibe with the group. They also reject the idea of traditional norms of society and won't prefer to be a follower of a celebrity or any public figure.

Jupiter Rx in Taurus people can be spendthrifts and make worse financial decisions, especially men. This placement makes a native a bit materialistic and in some cases, I've seen these natives going for a sugar daddy/sugar mommy. Men with this placement, in some cases, tend to hire escorts, gamble big and lose big, commit financial fraud, etc. Risky investments.

Jupiter Rx in Gemini people have all the resources to succeed, but they waste a lot of time on obsessing over unnecessary things, which doesn't serve them. In relationships, it can point to infidelity or just attract partners who are like that. The partners they attract might cheat, lie or abruptly break up with them out of the blue, sometimes over a text message and move on quickly, leaving the native hurt.

Mercury Rx in Virgo people wait for something to happen and these natives invented procrastination. They focus on the teeny-tiny details and even if they got what they want, they won't believe it at first and get suspicious about it. Try giving these natives a gift or a heartfelt message and they would be thinking, "What do they want from me?".

Jupiter Rx in Libra people are prone to get in legal troubles. A silly mistake or carelessness can lead them to the court or might end up paying a fine/penalty. In some cases, these natives can get fired out of nowhere or get evicted unfairly. The justice system can be unfair to them at times than to people with other libra placements.

Mercury Rx in Gemini people tend to hide their true opinions on things. They are funny and interesting, for sure. They're good at manipulating others as well, without even realizing. Sometimes, these natives believe their own lies. If they're in an abusive relationship, they lie to themselves that they're happy and such. Poor choice in friendships and love relationships 8/10 times. The words that come out of their mouth can be heavily filtered and calculated. They know how to hit your nerve in less than 20 words while smiling at the same time.

Jupiter Rx in Capricorn people usually start taking life seriously in their mid-20s. Dating is either limited or non-existent if it's in the 3rd, 5th, 7th or 11th house. Can work on a project for years only to fail at it or abandon it halfway. When their career takes off, they can become workaholics. Their dry humor would attract people, and these natives are often perceived by society as "one of us". These natives tend to experience back pain from their early 20s.

Mercury Rx in Aquarius people are so good at being an online troll and they're the king/queen of the comment section. These natives can be hilarious and if they meet someone new, they will make absurd claims just to see others' reactions. These natives love to make funny faces/weird sounds or poses and know how to make others insane through their words alone.

✨🔍Wanna dive deeper into your chart's layers? ��💬 Check out my pinned post for pricing and more info 💫💸

[ckret2]

I can't help but wonder what Bill befriending Dipper would even look like. It feels like it'd be rough. Bill canonically enjoys messing with him but on Dipper's end I don't think he'd ever really be able to be comfortable with him. And Bill likely wouldn't find Dipper particularly interesting to hang around. I can imagine Dipper being as enthused about all kinds of topics as Ford would be, but Dipper is missing the little weirdo energy. It'd take quite a bit for them to ever click as friends I think. Maybe more like they'd be able to tolerate each other until it's slowly no longer just tolerating and it turns out they share a handful of interests or agree on something benign like Mac n cheese preferences. ---> I did not mean to send you a small essay on the logistics of Bill befriending Mabels brother.

See, that's exactly why way back in, like, 2023?? I was struggling to figure out what it would take to get them friendly with each other. Bill's drawn to people who know how to have fun (not Dipper) and people whose insecurities mirror his own (ruin Dipper's home life and give him 20 years with no emotional support or therapy and he could get there, but 13-year-old Dipper is nowhere close).

Bill looks at people like Ford and Mabel and goes "oh they're just like me" and he loves them for it; but he looks at Dipper and goes "oh he could become like me" and disdains him for it.

Dipper... we don't really know who he's drawn to, though a safe bet seems to be "intellectual nerds," "people who tend to let him take the lead in deciding and conducting the adventure of the day," and "redheads."

Bill's not about to let Dipper feel like he's in charge of anything (Bill would take it as a personal insult) and he sure ain't a redhead. But he has a fingernail-thick thin veneer of "intellectual nerd" disguising a mile-thick layer of "manipulative frat boy," which again is wrapped around a secret core of "actually an intellectual nerd after all." He's got the knowledge Dipper wants, and that's the one thing that could potentially draw Dipper in; but like, he's so unwilling to just share what he knows. Bill's GOT to make it frustrating as hell, especially with Dipper, because like... Dipper's got nothing to offer him in return.

It doesn't help that I feel like Dipper's an expert at holding grudges. If his whole past summer with Bill hadn't happened, he at least might be able to be neutral with Bill; but as is? nah. mabel has it in her heart to forgive. Dipper "Man, Revenge Is Underrated" Pines does not.

[harpval]

🌿Bluelock Love Island AU🌿

The OG’s Vs. The Bombshells

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━━━━━━━🌺━━━━━━━━━━ ✧ ₊˚₊

🌿THE OGS🌿

Isagi Yoichi

Here for a genuine connection with pure intentions, while he is strategic he wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s knocking on the dressing room as the girls ready themselves for the day, greeting them all with a wide smile but making sure his girl is fueled for the day with nicely made avocado toast and a drink of choice. He’s got a fantastic memory, he’ll know if you want coffee, tea, or house made orange juice to start your day. He’s silently competitive, you rarely see anyone get under his skin. The only time you might is if your connection is strong and you’re exploring other options.

Itoshi Rin

If you’ve seen season 6, Kordell is related to Odell Beckham—and doesn’t mention it a lot. Rin would be a bit similar, he would never bring up Sae. It wouldn’t be until someone makes a comparison about the two, their eyes, and the last name. Rin seems more shy, a bit closed off. He knows how to play the game so he’d approach first but you’d ultimately have to get a jumping point for the conversation. Once comfortable he’d be unexpectedly passionate, during a re-coupling he’d hold your gaze as he spoke, making it known that you’re the one he’s picking. Unintentionally too. The producers have to correct him for the next recoupling to *not* stare at you the entire time until he announces it.

Reo

While Reo can be a sweetheart, he can get petty extremely fast. Initially he’s the sweetest man you’ve ever met, friendly, and easy to talk to. But the moment someone else kisses you in a challenge? He’s fucking seething, he’s not used to not getting what he wants or getting his way and it’ll unfortunately show. He will actually crash tf out, he can’t let things go either. But, on the plus side, he’s ambitious and goal driven. He’s someone people gravitate towards not because of his money, but because of his warm outward demeanor. He’s going to surprise you with breakfast in bed every day, the two of you sprawl out on the couches while he massages your legs etc. still very much a sweetie.

Nagi

Nonchalant king, cannot lie. Signs up for the show because Reo wanted to experience this with him. Nagi requires patience and heavy communication, he’s a bit lazy, but nighttime is the best. He’s a fantastic cuddler with a thumb gently stroking at your side or your hip. Fantastic eye contact, you two lounge around the villa and talk about mundane things while he stares up at you with big sweet eyes. But unfortunately all these small things won’t be able to save him in a future recoupling. Reo is on his ass 24/7 about doing some grand thing for you, but his lack of action leads to his demise.

Gagamaru Gin

He’s immediately everyone’s first pick because of his height and initial nonchalant demeanor. He’s so unintentionally funny though, making the most unhinged comments in the calmest tone. He’s still pretty attractive but he’s got this weird sense of humor and way of doing things that just makes him a fun guy to be around too. He’s got fantastic advice surprisingly, and most of the girls in the villa cozy up to him for relationship advice. I can see him forming a solid relationship after a bit of exploring, he’s fairly confident and his laid back nature would allow for him to not get his feelings hurt—so long as he isn’t in too deep. If you want a guy to make you laugh, he’s it.

Bachira Meguru

Becomes a fan favorite without question, from the jump he’s energetic and eccentric. He quickly becomes friends with everyone, and definitely does explore his options. He usually goes for someone who’s interested first due to his own self esteem. But he’s very honest about it because the last thing he wants to do is hurt someone. Manages to stay friends with everyone, a big hugger—jumps on everyone and throws his arms around them. During challenges he’s very shocked whenever he’s picked but he makes sure that you do NOT regret it. Kisses always end in giggle fits between you two and you’re never bored with him. Opens up to you only if you’ve been together a long time, and definitely loves to surprise you. The absolute BEST partner for competitive challenges if you’re looking to make memories and have fun.

🔥THE BOMBSHELLS🔥

Kunigami Rensuke

The season prior to yours is the record holder for one of the biggest betrayals in love island history. Kunigami Rensuke was dumped from the island. His true nature and desire to play fair and be a gentleman left him vulnerable when a snakey bombshell pulled the rug from right under his feet. His experience was cut short after a few sweet lies were told by the girl he was coupled up with. Is asked to return to the show as a bombshell, and isn’t the outwardly honest gentleman viewers saw in the previous season. It’s his turn to make a dramatic entrance, he’s hot and captures the attention of the girls of the villa, he’s a flirt and fairly dry until you crack through his exterior. Sort of like Miguel, maybe. He flirts around a lot, ruffling some feathers, but it’s all worth it when he finds the one for him.

Barou Shoei

The bombshell ever. His aura is what makes him desirable, he gives off an outwardly bad boy-esque demeanor. He’s more than ready to step on some toes, stir up some shit. He goes into the villa with a goal. And he’s unafraid to make that known. It does not matter if you’re in the strongest couple, if he sees what he wants he is going to go for it. Though, he doesn’t wait around, if he sees a better connection elsewhere he’s going for it. On the contrary, he forms the strongest connection there. Makes you breakfast. Likely the first to go into the hideaway with you. If you two are strong then it’ll take a lot to turn his head, but he’s definitely a romantic and treats you like a queen once he’s got you—which is what makes people like him.

Kaiser Michael

Oh this man was born to be a bombshell. He was born for the big screen, he turns this shit into a movie. He explores his options, since he’s certainly got so many. He’s foreign, he’s charming, he has an accent, and he’s got an edge to him that the girls and viewers are itching to see. He purposely goes for the girls in the strongest couples just because he can, and so he can cause a trail of fire whenever he goes. A fire of drama, he has a flare for the dramatics and definitely has a theatrical way of acting—much like Rob from S6. But worse. His self esteem is secretly low, so he compensates for that by kissing you infront of your couple, making direct eye contact with the man as he does so. Points and winks at the camera, etc. It’s hard to form a solid connection with him because his walls are up, but once you manage there’s no going back. But trust me, you wouldn’t want to. Once he opens up he can be the best lover, it just takes a hell of a lot to get to that point.

Ryusei Shidou

He’s here for a good time, not a long time! He’s driven by his own desire for excitement. He brings the drama, the chaos, all of it. He’s got no shame in his game and will fully kiss you even if you’re in a couple, just cause he wants to. Has kissed someone just because he thought it would be entertaining before—caused the couple to fight, relished in it. He can be a good lover though, if you’re what he’s looking for. He needs someone who matches his freak, someone who keeps him on his toes. You can match his freak in private or be just as eccentric as he is, if you manage you’d become a power couple. But, if not, he leaves the show pretty soon. His time was short but his presence was lasting. Tries to fight Rin.

Alexis Ness

He’s a charmer, but overshadowed by Kaiser as he enters the villa with him. Ness has a snake like approach, and isn’t afraid to step on some toes to get what he wants. Though, he does it in such a way that your couple won’t even know what hit him till you’re choosing Ness in the recoupling. Aside from the fact he’s pretty strategic in how he moves, he’s genuinely a sweetheart and explores maybe one or two people before beelining for you. Goes after someone who sees him for who he is and appreciates his presence. Definitely someone that forms a lasting connection without the unnecessary drama. He’s open and honest too, and very fun to be around.

Oliver Aiku

The girls flock to him, the way he carries himself is enough to make him the perfect bombshell. He’s an avengers level threat for sure, sweet talking his way into a girl recoupling with him and ditching her other guy. But it’s hard to hide your true nature for long, he’s not very communicative and is definitely telling you and another girl the exact same things. He goes after nearly every bombshell, and comes back from casa amor with another girl. So he’s not the best lover on the show, he will never see the hideaway, but his departure is still sad since he was friends with anyone who didn’t get caught in the crossfire.

Otoya Eita

He’s a smooth talker, he’s captivating and has no trouble in sweeping girls off their feet with a few sweet promises whispered into their ears. He’s calm and laid back which makes him appear easy to talk to. But he quickly becomes love islands biggest heartbreaker, as he loses interest at the drop of a hat. Once he has you he’s moving onto the next thing. A fan favorite because of his lazy dry humor and relaxed approach to everything, definitely pisses off about half the girls because he can’t seem to make up his mind. His heads on a swivel, dropping his couple for any hot bombshell that enters the villa. Does not make it through the show, casa amor is his demise.

Sae Itoshi

A celebrity guest on the show, brought to stir up shit between him and his brother. He’s oblivious to his brothers silent rage, just playing the game like anyone else brought on the show. Doesn’t go out of his way to start drama, but won’t hesitate to step on some toes if he really really wants someone who’s in a couple. He’s looking for someone mature, and honest. He’s not going to stay in a couple just for the sake of being on the show, if he doesn’t like you or find a connection worthwhile he’s fine going home. He’s just here for the media coverage, to be fair. He’s not hard to get to know if he likes you though, once he’s got what he wants he fully intends on leaving the villa with you. He’s caring—making you breakfast, always having a hand on you respectfully, but also blunt. If he doesn’t like how you’re acting he’ll only tell you once before moving along. But he’d never leave you in the dark.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━━━━━━━🌺━━━━━━━━━━ ✧ ₊˚₊

Anri is also your fine ahh host

I cannot write for shit on my phone I apologize if this is bad:,) ARGH

I’ll still write for others even if they’re not on this list

[munnmolads]

Was Rafayel actually captured by Ever? - Theory and Analysis

Especially after Death & Rebirth, a lot of fans are speculating if Rafayel was actually captured and experimented on by Ever. What does the game lore say about it? Spoilers for all of game's lore up to end of Death & Rebirth, including Rafayel's Anecdotes and World Underneath stories as well as some of this memories.

A quick note: I have to be honest, if it would be true in the game that Rafayel was captured by Ever, I might not like that for his story. I want to make it clear that even though this theory is getting popularity, my bias might be affecting how I'm reading lore for this theory and I'm trying to actively keep an open mind to every aspect. I don't mean to be a debbie-downer for anyone who enjoys this theory and wants it to be true! It's a fascinating theory and I can see why people believe it and for a while, I did too.

Lemurians are being hunted for experiments

We know from Siren's Song Anecdote and Micro Universe World Underneath story that Lemurians are actively being used as a experiments and their blood and scales are being harvested by Gaia Research Center.

I have theorized earlier that Raymond from Chapter 2 of Under Deepspace was using these Lemurian cells to extend his lifespan. It's not that hidden lore, but if you're curious about seeing those experiments hinted at in the game.

There's no doubt about Gaia Research Center being involved in these experiments, but was Rafayel captured at some point?

Now - I have to put us in MC's shoes now. The main story so far hasn't acknowledged the experiments that Lemurians have gone through. It is all information we as the players have got from the anecdotes and World Underneath stories, the MC has not got this information canonically yet atleast. It is completely reasonable for her to assume that Rafayel might have been in Gaia Research Center.

I'm also going to use Ever / Gaia Research Center kind of interchangeably, even though they aren't the exact same thing. I'm assuming that everything that Gaia Research Center has done, has been for Ever's iniative and purposes, and have been funded by Ever.

What supports Rafayel being captured by Ever / Gaia Research Center?

In addition to what I already mentioned about Lemurians being captured, there's nothing much concrete about Rafayel being one of the people who were captured.

In Addictive Pain anecdote, he shows paranoia about her being a bait for him and being captured:

Granted, his fear might come from actually being captured earlier in his life. It could also be backed up with him being a really good at getting untied when he wants to, as in being an escape artist as I have mentioned in a previous post:

[Thanks to Frappe for their video in Tipsy Invitation on Youtube!]

He himself also uses quite bit of language about getting trapped or MC laying a trap for him. This has been something I am quite interested in, so I might do a separate post on this if we don't get a direct answer soon to it what it might be about:

Adressing Your Fragrance

I wanted to make a separate point for Your Fragrance since I have seen it being used as one of the references to this theory. A lot of memories in this game have layers upon layers, so I wouldn't be surprised if Your Fragrance would be in that category. But I do want to point out that quite often it's quoted without context, and sometimes feels like some people might have even completely forgot what this memory is about outside of it's kindled.

When we look at it with the context that MC did come to his home to tie his hands and drag him to the perfume exhibition while wearing an enticing perfume, his nonsensical ramblings seem more rational. He fell for MC's perfomance of her leaving and catching his hands with his tie. "Them" is most likely referring Thomas and the people in the exhibition, and he's claiming that MC is trying to get him lowering his guard and 'lure' him to the exhibition.

But as I have mentioned, it's not the first time the memories would have more layers than one, so I'm really curious to see if this is one of the earlier signs of him alluding being trapped by Ever / Gaia Research Center. I didn't want to claim YF "proves" the theory because the lines have logical reasoning behind them with context, but it doesn't disprove it either.

Why I don't believe Rafayel was captured by Ever / Gaia Research Center

One real give away for me is that we don't have any solid proof about him being captured in the story. At this point, we have had pretty good foundation for others why they are being sought out by Ever, what Ever want from them and the impact that Ever has had on them. Xavier is having his evol supressed by his collar, Zayne is being pressured to join in the Fountain of Atei since he's the creator of the X-heart, Sylus for being the leader of Onychinus and Caleb having his arm replaced and microchip inserted in him, losing his memories and personality.

My point is that if he was captured, there should be more established interactions and story would have mentioned and be affected by his capture. This would be a huge turn of events in his story, and I just don't feel like the current content in the story would be adequade to support such big revelation. Rafayel's experiences and call backs to any lingering trauma about the captures seem to be more about his people rather than himself. He feels extremely strong sense of duty to his people and Lemuria.

So far we haven't heard any of his point of view being captured, and considering a lot of Rafayel's and MC's interactions like MC tying him down several times would go differently if she would trigger that trauma in Rafayel. Would he be really that fine with it if he had such strong trauma with being captured? This is why I think his trap / capture and this kind of master play is more about their relationship dynamic rather than an actual event that has happened to Rafayel previously.

Considering his strong sense of duty when it comes to Lemuria and how important Lemuria is to him, I feel his paranoia of getting captured stems from trauma that he has seen himself happening to his people. He actively seeks out revenge on people who have wronged Lemurians, so it's also fair for him to assume he's being hunted for it as well. He knows how important he is to Lemurians, and his actions alone can determine their future if they can return home or not - he has a really great responsibility to ensure he can do that. He also might have extreme guilt over not being able to protect his people, regardless if he would have been able to do anything about it.

This is more of a personal opinion(/rant), so please feel free to skip and jump to next headline if you aren't interested: In addition to the existing content not possibly being able to support it, his story so far is really interesting as it is. It doesn't need anything extra, and I'm worried it would actually diminish his story rather than enhance it. Does it really add anything to his story that he was captured himself? What would be the point of that? He already has clear motivations enough to work against Ever as his responsibility to Lemuria and hatred of what they have done to his people. I just can't yet see a benefit for this kind of revelation, when the flip side is that existing content might not support it well enough to have the desired impact. I don't want a revelation for the sake of getting it, I want it to have meaning for him, the relationship, the story and his overall character. I'll keep an open mind anyway and hope that story-wise it would be well excuted revelation so I can eat my words. I would rather be wrong and admit it being good, than right about it not fitting to the story.

What might happen in Rafayel's next story chapters?

Since Death & Resurrection so far has involved Sylus and Zayne, I'm curious to see if we will get new chapters for Rafayel and Xavier soon. We are clearly going more in the direction of investigating Ever and the guys' personal interests to Ever. I think we will learn more about these experiments that are being done to Lemurians, and as well if this theory is true or not.

Since there is also a clear indication from the story being closer to revealing more about the childhood memories from MC, it could be we get to know more about MC's and Rafayel's first meeting. We already have had a taste of that in Land of Secret Flames, but it's still quite shrouded in mystery what happened around that time and when it was. I'm going to do a separate post about that theme next.

Also, this theory is interesting in the sense that I would love to see him being captured in the future. The key difference to this is the timing - with MC being with him in present, it's much more impactful for their relationship and could develop his character differently, rather than trying to fit it in with his current content.

I think that would have interesting turns for the story, interactions in the future and enhance MC's and Rafayel's relationship in a fascinating way. It has been teased in Abyssal Chaos and in some other parts of the game that Rafayel might disappear... Oh the angst 😭

[doeyedeer]

as someone who is 1) autistic and 2) has a special interest in language and linguistics, BOY do i love the mixture of english and french in étoile!!!! made me want to commit to learning french again! the swearing especially tbh

im farrrr from fluent in french but i know bits and pieces, enough to appreciate the interesting bits of translation in the subtitles or know when cheyenne randomly speaks italian in one scene (obsessed w her)

wont get into everything linguistically interesting about this show in this one post or itd end up unmanageably long, but one thing: in his first scene, gabin speaks exclusively french (apart from when he shows off how good his english is), even when geneviève and cheyenne are speaking english*. but for the rest of the show we see him speak almost exclusively english, just because of how much time he spends with tobias (who speaks very little french). cute :)

*sidebar: why do geneviève and cheyenne speak english for some of this scene? both of their first language is french?

[81emily71]

collecting fics like they’re pokémon cards ig, but this one is based on a charli xcx song. anyways, as per, fic under the cut!

warnings: smut, anal sex, oral sex, kissing, implied/referenced sexting, clubbing

wc: 2,488

description: “What are you doing? Tryna’ guess the colour of my underwear or something?” Lando giggled, obviously joking.

Sadly, a drunken Oscar responded, very, very deadpan with, “Don’t have to, I saw them when you sat down earlier.”

Or

Oscar and Lando are out celebrating his win in Hungary when one thing leads to another...

Guess

“Hey Oscar, you there?” Lando asked, waving his hand in front of the dazed boy’s face, trying to get his attention in through the blaring music of the club they ended up at after Oscar’s win in Hungary. The curly-haired man was standing in front of him, facing him, legs close to his own at the edge of the VIP booth they and a few other drivers booked last minute.

No, he was not there, at least mentally. His mind had divulged into the world of Lando’s underwear and the “celebration” he got after his first win earlier that season; a brand-new “Miami ‘24” lower-back tattoo. Oscar had seen them when he sat down about an hour ago at the booth, they were peaking out. Now, he knows that it’s normal for guys to keep their pants at their hips and boxers at their waist; however, the interesting part was that they were the ones Lando asked for his opinion on. This was while they were on a stop over between counties in Tokyo earlier that year— the black Calvin Klein pair or the white Ralph Lauren ones, he chose black. Yes, Lando does already have a black pair of Calvin Klein boxers; however this pair is special. Why? Because they say “Oscar’s” on the back of the waistband. He thought Lando liked girls, but he might know Oscar would hit it.

His whole outfit was sending him crazy, as any sane person would feel after seeing a sweaty Lando fucking Norris wearing a black, long sleeve button-down, black trousers, and, the most important part, a black backwards cap. It would make any normal person go crazy, and for good reason.

“Yeah, just a bit distracted,” Oscar replied, half snapping out of his trance before looking the brit in the eyes. He saw them dazed with alcohol, just as his own were.

“What are you doing? Tryna’ guess the colour of my underwear or something?” He giggled, obviously joking.

Sadly, a drunken Oscar responded, very, very deadpan with, “Don’t have to, I saw them when you sat down earlier.” He leaned closer to the older man to talk to him without the prying ears of others, “I’m gonna tell you right now, they’re all I’m thinking about.”

A chill was sent down Lando’s spine as he stepped in between the Aussie’s legs, grabbing both his hands, pulling him up to the dance floor, getting lost together in the crowd.

“Sorry, needed an excuse to do this without getting noticed,” Lando said, back to Oscar as he grinded down on the unsuspecting man.

Fuck. Was the only thing going through Oscar's mind in that moment, his once unnoticeable half-hard now extremely noticeable with Lando’s ass circling his crotch. There was absolutely no way he wouldn’t be able to feel how hard he was with the way he was moving. The younger man’s hands snaked around Lando’s body, one reaching his hip, the other gripping around the front of his neck. His head fell onto Oscar’s shoulder as Papi by KAAZE blared around them, Lando’s hips still moving to the beat.

“You have no idea what I want to do to you right now,” Oscar whispered into his ear, voice low, almost seductive.

“Let me guess, you wanna…” Lando placed an inquisitive finger on his chin, trying to make it look like he’s thinking after turning around to face the Aussie. “Put ‘em in your mouth, pull ‘em all down south,” he dragged a large hand down Oscar’s chest and torso, “You wanna try it, bite it, lick it, spit it, pull it to the side, and get all up in it.” Every part of the list he said was laced with sensualness, coming closer to him each time.

“And one other thing,” Oscar continued, dragging him so close by the waist the older man can feel his breath on his lips, and so the other can feel him from the front, “you think I can fit it?” He pressed their hips closer together.

A soft whimper left the brit’s mouth as he choked out something along the lines of getting a cab and going back to the hotel, while dragging the other back to their booth to gather their belongings.

The air was awkward and stale between them until they stumbled into Lando’s hotel room, almost tripping over his own suitcase in the process. Thankfully, a pair of strong hands caught him by the waist. The two boys locked eyes, and Oscar leaned down and slammed his lips onto Lando’s, pulling him up, simultaneously moving his right hand to his neck. And not in the cute, cupping his face or back of neck grab; no, the hot, sexy, actual choking placement of his hand without cutting off oxygen.

Their make-out session continues as Lando is almost thrown onto bed with the younger climbing on top of him with his arms next to the brit’s head, locking their lips again, this time with more passion as their tongues swirled around each other’s. While kissing, Lando decided to take off his own shirt as Oscar peppered, sucked, and bit down his neck. When Lando let out a sound not as soft as the ones before, Oscar kept his mouth there, drawing out soft moans from the older, definitely leaving many hickeys before moving further down his chest.

He made his way down his pecs, stopping at his nipples to suck on one and play with the other. The sound Lando made was very unexpected on Oscar’s behalf, his back arching up towards his face and hand. The Aussie giggled into his chest, tongue licking and swirling around Lando’s hard nipple, his hand doing something similar before swapping to the other. After spending his time there he tried to go down further, but a subtle “Wait,” left the brit’s mouth. Oscar stopped in his tracks, terrified he’d crossed a line or done something wrong.

Lando saw the worry on his face and smiled, “don’t worry, I very much want to, I just wanna get you off first.”

Oh

Oh

His hands snaked down Oscar’s body just like in the club, flipping them over so Oscar was below him, and stopping at his belt before looking up to receive a nod of approval from him. As soon as he got the go, Lando unbuckled the belt and pulled it out, throwing it off to the side. Maybe another time the brit thought as he glanced at the discarded belt on the floor. He continued to make his way into Oscar's pants, getting through the button and zipper before his boxers were the only things left. Knowing he had full permission, Lando pulled down his pants and boxers at the same time.

Oscar’s dick sprung free, hitting his stomach before returning to its upright position. See, Lando has had sex with guys before, some fellow F1 drivers even, but NEVER in his few years of doing so has he seen a dick this big. Genuinely. Easy 23 cm in length, and, like, 5 cm in diameter. It was honestly crazy. He brought up as much saliva as he could in the barely 3 seconds he was given, kept it on his tongue, and licked a stripe from base to tip.

As soon as he did so, a strong hand flew to his hair, holding his head just above the tip before he relaxed and let his lips engulf the tip. Oscar threw his head back pushing the older man’s head down further subconsciously. Lando’s tongue swirled around his tip, repaying the favour from earlier, and smiled. He managed to ease the rest of what his mouth could take into it before bobbing his head up and down. Oscar’s grip tightened, drawing a moan from the other, sending a vibration down his dick as Lando’s lips popped off.

“You know you can fuck it right?” Lando asked, panting.

“Huh?”

“You can fuck my face if you wanna.”

“You were serious when you texted me that? I thought you were just drunk.”

“Yes to 1, no to 2, I mean, I was drunk but I wasn't lying.”

Well, Oscar isn’t going to pass up that opportunity. Lando lowered his head down, getting comfortable with around half of his dick, a little under the max he could take when Oscar Pulled his head back up and thrusted his hips, the half Belgian closed his eyes and let out a muffled noise. He knew for a fact he would barely be able to talk in the morning, but that’s a problem for another time Lando thought. With Oscar on the verge of skull fucking him, he started to move his head to look up and down, allowing more friction on Oscar’s dick.

“Fuuuuuckkkkk,” he groaned, pushing Lando’s head down further, ”if you keep doing that I'm gonna come.”

His head popped off for just the right amount of time for Lando to say, “Do it, come in my mouth.”

He placed his head back down on Oscar’s dick, continuing to do what they were doing. Barely a minute goes by and Oscar groans louder than he has all night, Lando’s name was included too, so far, arm covering his eyes as he forces Lando’s head down a bit further. He swallowed like a champ before leaning up to take Oscar’s arm away from his eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of that post-orgasm hase in his eyes. Sadly to no avail.

“You really shouldn’t do that, you’re gorgeous,” Lando accurately claimed, voice extremely hoarse.

Oscar panted heavily, still trying to calm down after what had happened, so he just nodded and took his arm down, but unfortunately, the bliss had passed. Apparently, so had Oscar’s train of thought as he grabbed the older’s clothed ass cheeks and kissed him, still tasting a bit of himself on the other's tongue.

After he broke apart from the other, he practically manhandled Lando to be ass up in front of him.

“Is this ok?” Oscar inquired, he received a positive, guttural hum of approval in return, causing him to pull down the brit's already undone jeans.

The Aussie grabbed a bottle of lube from the suitcase next to his bed and heavily lubed up 2 fingers. With a simple word of warning, Oscar eased his first finger in as Lando winced before quickly getting used to the sensation as he started slowly moving it in and out.

As he felt his other relax more, he started to move it quicker, earning subtle moans from Lando in return.

“You can put another one in now.” He suggested, and said suggestion was taken very much into account.

As Oscar inserted another finger, Lando gripped at the sheets next to him, adjusting to the sensation before repeating the process one more time. His 3 fingers felt comfortable in Lando’s hole, curling and moving around as much as he could without hurting the brit. Every time he explored somewhere new, it was a catalyst for moans and pretty sounds from the older. At one particular spot, Oscar received a louder moan, so he hit it again. And again. And again.

That was until Lando choked out a soft “I-I’m gonna come.” Apparently to Oscar, that translated as, Stop doing that and make the love of your life Lando suffer by taking your fingers out..

Oscar pulled out his fingers and got more lube from the bed-side table, lathering his hands and dick in the slick substance. He wiped his hands on a discarded towel on the floor before grabbing Lando's hips and lining himself up with his hole.

“You ready?” Oscar asked, making sure just in case, to which he received a nod and hum of approval. “Use your words.”

“Y-yes, I’m ready.”

And with that, he pushed himself in, Lando’s hands once again gripping the doona cover. Oscar had a similar reflex when he bottomed out, but his was to almost crush the curly-head’s hip bones, not the sheets. When his grip on the sheets relaxed and his face uncrumpled, Oscar started to move, only a little. When he was given entire approval to move after a few minutes of doing that, he pulled his dick almost entirely out of his hole before slamming it back in, receiving an almost pornographic scream from his other. He repeated this process over and over, simultaneously placing a hand in his hair and pulling.

As he started to create a rhythm, Lando met him halfway, bouncing his perfect ass on Oscar’s dick, the sight only brought him closer to his edge. Not wanting to be gone too quickly, he flipped the brit onto his back, but that just made things worse. Why did no one decide to tell me Lando Norris had the most gorgeous “I’m getting fucked so hard right now and I love it” face? He asked himself after seeing the sweat-stuck curls on his forehead, eyes rolling into the back of his head, either with his mouth open or biting his lip, and occasionally arching his back when Oscar hit his prostate.

Outside his chorus of moans, Lando managed to string some words together and choked out a cracked “I think I'm going to come,” before continuing to moan as much as he was before

“Don’t worry, me too,” Oscar reassured, hands moving from Landos hip to his face and hand. He pulled him into a kiss as Lando came all over their stomachs, causing his hole to twitch and legs to shake, sending Oscar over the edge as he came for the second time that night.

He pulled himself out, rolled off the edge of the bed, and went off to the bathroom. At first, Lando was a bit disappointed, expecting at least some aftercare. That was until he returned with a warm cloth to clean up the come on his stomach and in him. Lando’s heart warmed at the act, smiling down at the boy and ruffling his hair.

Ok, maybe he was still a little tipsy. Maybe that was the main prompter to the random, true words leaving his mouth, but neither cared. “I love you, Osc.” Lando confessed.

“I love you too Lando, so, so much,” Oscar replied, kissing his forehead.

Once they were both fully cleaned up, Oscar handed Lando a clean pair of boxers, putting some on himself before sliding into the bed with his boyfriend and snuggling the boy almost fast asleep on his chest. He could get used to this.

“You know, out of technicalities, you never actually bit it, licked it, spit on it, pulled it to the side, or got all up in it,” Lando started, voice gravelly and sleepy, “meaning we need to do this again.” He finished just before heading off into a deep sleep.

I mean, he wasn’t wrong.

Now you just have to guess if they’re serious about this happening.

[wisteria-lodge]

Even with all the controversy don’t you think Bellamort has roots in canon compared to other totally random and performative ships? I think a lot of fans get annoyed with Bellatrix’s personality and dismiss her because she’s intense, but to me that’s exactly what makes her special, she doesn’t care about fitting gender norms expected from women, like not even Voldemort could handle who she is. That just proves her fanaticism is driven more by what she believes in than by her world revolving around him. And even if it did I don’t get why people complain about that lol it’s her choices as an independent woman. A lot of Voldemort ships end up twisting the other character to resemble Bellatrix anyway or give them similar traits like that main ship of his I’m not even naming here hahahaha

I mean, Bellatrix and Voldemort do have a kid in the Cursed Child - so if you consider Cursed Child canon, then of course they're canon.

In the main books, Bellatrix definitely is in love with Voldemort (or at very least speaks to him "as if to a lover.") Helena Bonham-Carter and Ralph Fiennes also lean into this - Bellamort shippers need to get ON the cut scene where Bellatrix tries to give Voldemort her wand (32:12)

But I would say that how Book Voldemort feels about Bellatrix is deliberately kept ambiguous. The question of how Voldemort defines love, and if he's even capable of remorse, or the *type* of love that is Harry's main superpower, is very tied into to the plot and theme of the book. Dumbledore (who the books frame as an authority on these sorts of things) comes down on the side of Voldemort not being able to love. The most he'll say is that Voldemort gets fond of people. "I think he is perhaps as fond of [Nagini] as he can be of anything." Also in the job interview flashback, Dumbledore roasts Voldemort for calling his Death Eaters "friends." says they're really his "servants."

("Voldemort is incapable of feeling love" is very boring from a character standpoint though, so I'm not surprised that fan writers interested in Voldemort ... ignore that.)

Actually, now that I think about it. It if you want to get into Voldemort ships with both textual evidence and authorial intent behind them... you could do a lot worse than Voldemort/Nagini. She is a human woman trapped in a snake body (I mean, if you consider the Fantastic Beasts films canon.) Which means maybe she does technically pass the Harkness test? Either way, JKR saying that the giant snake used to be a human woman (and that she knew this the whole time) is... an interesting choice.

Dumbledore - who considers himself a bit of a Tom expert - says he's the most fond of her. Nagini has part of Voldemort's soul inside her (so cue all the Tomarry headcannons, equally relevant here.) AND she kept homunculus!Voldemort alive with her venom? which is... something. Voldemort also seems to give her the most delicate assignments, she's his main executioner, she can possess and move around other dead bodies? So um. That's on the table for them. I guess.

(He's Voldemort, he's not going to have a vanilla love life.)

So what does he feel about Bellatrix? I don't know. He calls her by a pet name (Bella), but he also groups her in with Lucius when he's feeling angsty and trust-no-one.

it had been a grave mistake to trust Bellatrix and Malfoy: Didn’t their stupidity and carelessness prove how unwise it was ever to trust?

He alludes to punishing her in some way (... sexy?) and but then completely ignores her.

“Be quiet, Bella,” said Voldemort dangerously. “I shall deal with you in a moment. Do you think I have entered the Ministry of Magic to hear your sniveling apologies?” “But Master — he is here — he is below —” Voldemort paid no attention

Hot and cold, really. Some definite mixed messages. Which Snape of all people calls out:

“He shares everything with me!” said Bellatrix, firing up at once. “He calls me his most loyal, his most faithful —” “Does he?” said Snape, his voice delicately inflected to suggest his disbelief. “Does he still, after the fiasco at the Ministry?”

There's the interesting scene at the Malfoy dining table, where Voldemort gets all the other Death Eaters laughing at her:

“I don’t know what you mean, my Lord.” “I’m talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud.” There was an eruption of jeering laughter from around the table. Many leaned forward to exchange gleeful looks; a few thumped the table with their fists (...) so jubilant were they at Bellatrix and the Malfoys’ humiliation. Bellatrix’s face, so recently flushed with happiness, had turned an ugly, blotchy red.

But then he shuts that down, and gets Bellatrix feeling grateful and doubly committed to him:

“Yes, my Lord,” whispered Bellatrix, and her eyes swam with tears of gratitude again. “At the first chance!” “You shall have it,” said Voldemort.

So, if nothing else... he's manipulative, and his manipulations are working on Bellatrix. (or maybe she's got a humiliation kink, who knows.) But he seems to like alternating between punishment and reward, and Bellatrix is never quite sure which one is coming.

I've seen the read that the "the happiest he had been in fourteen years" is referring specifically to the fact that *Bellatrix* has escaped Azkaban, but I would say that one probably has more to do with the power/success/euphoria that comes from generally winning, and effortlessly executing a mass Azkaban breakout. Same with his "scream" after Bellatrix's death, I think that's more to do with the fact that the tide of the battle has definitely turned.

Like, I love Bellatrix, I think she's fascinating. And I would say she's definitely a fan favorite - everyone loves a really gleeful bad guy, especially in a universe where a lot of characters are very angsty.

The Harry Potter books also have this pattern, where if you're a female character who doesn't have kids, and isn't interested in taking care of kids - then you're at best kind of tough and cold (Amelia Bones, Madame Pince.) But who are we kidding, you're probably just a baddie. (Bellatrix, Rita, Umbridge.) So weirdly, a lot her villains can have this almost... feminist flavor to them? Which makes them very compelling, in the eyes of her adult fans.

[balrogballs]

Hi Balls, I love your writing and I just read your Maglor/Glorfindel story after your latest fic about Feanor. Can I just ask why your Maglor is sometimes, like in that story, kind of rude and sarcastic? Your style keeps me reading, but I’m used to Maglor being more wholesome, or regretful, and I wanted to ask your justification for him being like, kind of mean in his responses. Is it an anti fanon thing or what, because he’s supposed to be the most pentitent brother so it’s interesting to see

continueing here. See him being sarkie about Elrond, or cocky about his looks, when he’s characterized as being repentent and not so confident, because of his trauma? I love your prose and it makes it interesting to read, but maybe explain your justification? Is it that his trauma doesn’t xist in the story,? Has he got over it ooor is he using it as a shield? All 3 sound possible

Hello hello!

So I assume you mean this fic? It was a last minute pinch hit fill for the Slashy Valentine event, more of a short vignette than anything. This question skipped to the top of my queue just so I could make this joke: if I had a nickel for every time someone asked me to justify a fanfic decision in the last week, I’d have two nickels… (just joking, not @-ing you at all!). Sorry about how long this is, I am very insufferable and like to ramble, but yes enjoy some thoughts about my conception of Maglor (and a little bit of Maedhros as well towards the end) across most of my fics.

So two things: firstly, some of the wording in the setup of that Valentine fic is directly drawn from an old fic I had up, in which Maglor was a bird-guy living in a forest near Lindon running a bird conservation project, which I took down after a couple of months and repurposed for other writing ventures.

And in that one, Maglor absolutely is judgy, sarcastic and “lmao memes” about most things, will not hesitate a second to call Elrond out when he’s acting like a dweeb, and some of the most fun I had writing anything was when I was writing the dialogues between him and 4 y/o Baby Arwen (who if you’ve read my earlier LotR stories, you’ll know is extremely spoilt and very much daddy’s little princess).

Reason I mention that fic is because that was the first proper or substantial Maglor-centric bit of writing I’d ever attempted and so that characterisation carries over to other fics of mine to various degrees as well, depending on setting and the role Maglor plays in the fics…

It really isn’t some sort of “anti-fanon” move, whatever that is supposed to mean… I don’t exactly make it a habit to rail against fanon as a rule, the only fic I’d say fulfills that criteria to some extent is that Mae/Elw fic, but even that is just 80% me wanting them to fuck and finding it very hot.

I just like to interpret Maglor in the way I characterise him, as you describe, snarky, judgemental and droll. There are still fanon elements to it: he’s very parental, grandparental as well, he was a very involved parent regardless of what form it takes or effect it has, whether positive or negative. Maglor in my AU also follows along those lines, just in a different context… and his very close relationship with Arwen was a pretty solid thread in some of my older works, iirc The Great Impossible showcases that best… and yes, there too he’s very laid back and honestly can be a bit of a dick, especially with his “naming 3000 generations of cats after Thingol” and “finding a very ugly cat and calling it Teleporno, only to change its name after Teleporno was nice to him”.

I don’t think it’s a beyond-the-pale characterisation, or one that seems incompatible with canon. The guy spent his life in Valinor lauded as the world’s greatest singer and what not, was a professional mummy’s boy and was a prince for most of his life. Him having a stick up his ass wouldn’t really be out of the ordinary: imagine if Beyoncé and Prince Harry were combined into one person. You’d be sitting at court bitching about people’s outfits too if you were Maglor. And then you’re commanding forces in a war, so you still have a level of authority: the Fëanorians in Beleriand weren’t exactly destitute and begging on the street getting whipped by Thingol or whatever, they absolutely had power and wealth.

Maglor was weary of his Oath and heartsick by the end, but he was still a Fëanorian, he was still part of their wider project in Middle-Earth, not only took part in the slayings but composed music about it, etc. I used to have a little joke that Maglor was the Rudyard Kipling of the Noldor and that the Noldolantë was the pointy-eared equivalent to the White Man’s Burden poem but I stopped making it when someone tried to bite my head off for it… 😭 anyway, yes, I did not and don’t write him as someone who was opposed to it from Day One, but someone in whom regret and self-disgust grew as the Noldor-in-ME project continued.

So him not being a perfectly polite and “choose kindness always” uwu bean does track with his character in my view… it’s all just different interpretations, not exactly some act of rebellion against fanon or whatever.

Re: trauma and characterisation, I fielded this same question about Maedhros when writing Cast in Stone, but in that case it was “why is he literally deranged, like person-needing-a-straitjacket deranged instead of having a classic presentation of PTSD and depression?”

I think one thing it’s important to mention when it comes to fandom/fanwork, not just in this fandom but in general, is that trauma presents in many ways, and they’re not all going to be a) relatable b) easily mappable into Anglo DSMV terminology c) palatable. As a general rule, for both personal and literary reasons, I am always keen on exploring “madness” in fantasy. I wasn’t interested in writing Maedhros as a “guy who did big violence and then felt bad about it” neat binary, wanted to show a fractured psyche which, in my writing, presents as outright mental instability.

And yeah it’s clear in Prayers what’s going on in his head, but because Cast in Stone was set in canonverse I had a few questions in about why I did that, to which my answer was: while the story was as a whole an exploration of historiography/who-writes-history-and-how, the emotional climax of it was when Elrond admits to Estel that the reason for all that historical cherrypicking and statue-building was not due to his own personal opinion about either the Fëanorians or his parents or anything like that which you’d expect, but rather the result of a residual, misplaced anger towards Maedhros for taking his own life. And that perspective is absolutely a thing with the immortal Eldar (see: Elwing being put into a fucking tower and having to live apart from the rest of the Eldar??? 😭) but it’s also a prevalent attitude in the real world, the language of blame and accusations of “selfishness”.

And what the fic was doing was also trying to explain Maedhros’ psyche, his own outlook towards his pre-reembodiment actions, even outright telling Elrond that he’d have done it again if he was in that spot with those stakes again. Not a palatable response nor a “mentally well” one, but re-embodiment/immortality =/= cure-all, and Maedhros still being a freak on his second round in ME was just more interesting to me. And personally again, I don’t want to write Maedhros grovelling to Elrond apologising for his suicidality: in CiS he straight up says he won’t apologise, and that’s just my preference and outlook when it comes to something like that. In fact, the only explicit apology I’ve ever written for him across all my fics has been a direct one to Elwing as an individual, which takes various forms in various works, and that is not even for the violence or kinslaying or any of that (because it’s not exactly something you can “apologise” for) but rather for the specific action of driving her to attempt exactly what he later also did.

And it’s a similar sort of view I hold with Maglor, just much less intense: where the child-rearing is genuine, he grows to love them swiftly and he’s good to them, but there’s definitely a sense of atonement to it at the start, a la Kite Runner (🙄 reference, i know sorry). And someone who I write to take that approach and views things through a self-fashioned morality code (which has both good and kind elements but also elements inherited from Fëanor/general Noldor worldviews), I don’t think—again I’m talking about how I write him, not how anyone should, or even talking in canon terms—he necessarily needs to explicitly beg everyone he meets for forgiveness on *their* terms if that makes sense?

I kind of regret pulling that bird-story now because it makes stuff a bit clearer re: what I’m trying to explain here, but yeah that was his and Elrond’s first meeting since the First Age, and it very much operated on a “yeah this happened and it was shit, and you know I regret it and that I’m sorry, but okay let’s solve the problem you have now” basis. And that’s just the approach I took, I have enjoyed reading stuff where there’s an explicit forgiveness narrative especially when it’s not tropey or woobified, but as a writer I chose this other option, that’s all.

Essentially, I don’t think he needs to perform his insecurities and be outwardly self-disgusted until someone tells him he shouldn’t. Insecurity and self-hatred, if present, can manifest in ways other than weeping at Elrond’s feet, I think? Again, there’s works that do that very well and unpick it nicely, it’s just that I didn’t go that route. Especially because I don’t write Elrond as a paragon of virtue whose primary trait is unequivocally-good-despite-trauma, that trait is present yes but I still write him to have flaws, ie historical blindness (interesting in the context of him being a living archive) as well as his own biases that come from his experiences, some inherited and others from serving under Gil-galad in the Second Age… so achieving Elrond’s forgiveness, specifically, isn’t the crux of any of the kidnap-fam related stories I’ve written?

Finally, I also don’t think being someone who is sorrowful/lonely/abject needs to be someone who spends all their time crying (Maedhros in Prayers is a good example of that opinion of mine lol!) and carrying over some personality traits from your Beyonce x Prince Harry era I think is not exactly either a rebellion from fanon or canon, nor a particularly impossible characteristic to have in his circumstances.

So yeah, just my interpretation, which I’ve explained above… I love reading other takes on him and think other readings work well too of course, this was just what I chose.

Hope this all makes sense and sorry for the essay, but hey, you asked! 🤪 I was in the middle of writing some meta re: Prayers (because I’m still very irritated about that one condescending read) when this turned up and distracted me…

[darkbluekies]

heyy darling, do u have any writng advice? your ocs are incredible

Writing in general or specifically characters? I can give some short information about both, how I do because I don't really know how to tell someone to write, i just know how I do!

I can make up a oneshot on the spot here to demonstrate!

Plot

Personally, I start with a plot. I am a plot driven writer, which means that it's the plot that drives the story forward, rather than the characters itself.

Let's say I've read about a ship sinking (unusual i know). I start with the main focus: the sinking ship, and continue from there. What genre? Let's say horror

But there needs to be more than just the ship. So I try to scatter through my mind or notes for earlier story ideas that I have had that might work together with this one. Let's say I don't have any. In that case, I would try to think what could have led up to this sinking ship.

Here's where the characters come in. To fit the horror theme, I might create a young woman who has had heard weird voices these last years after a near death experience. Why would she be traveling on this ship? Is she trying to get away from someone? Or go to someone? Let's say she has a stalker.

Now let's go deeper onto the stalker. What could the stalker have done to want the main character to flee? Maybe sent notes to her? Maybe confronted her?

What happens on the ship? Do they meet? Does she know he's there? What does he do on there that makes her scared?

The ship sinks. This would be the ideal point to take her. This is where the thing should happen. Unleash whatever you have in your mind. Is she getting chased through water falled corridors? Does she have to hide in a room that's filling to the brim with water? Does he find her? Does she manage to escape?

Let's give her a happy ending. She manages to run away from him and get into a lifeboat. What now? Is she feeling relief? Fear? Guilt? Play around!

And the end. Either you can tie it up with a happy ending where she lives a good life afterwards and the stalker died, or you can do a more open, mysterious ending where, maybe when shes stepped onto the harbour, she sees him in the crowd.

This is an easy outline of how my thought process can go. This is very surface level, and if you want you can see it as a timeline where you put in the important things first and then fill out the remaining space with smaller scenes!

Characters

Characters are my favorite thing to do. I love to make people and put them in situations. Let's take one of my characters that you haven't met, that way you won't already know things about them and have old feelings about them.

This character is called Ben and I have had him since 2020. He is a 15 year old boy with a sore history. This is how I came up with him, and developed him. basically my thought progress

When I created him, he was actually nothing more than the best friend/protector/later developed to be a love interest (still unclear but there definetly is some real tension and they probably would get together if "something" didn't happen) to the main character Hugh.

I knew that this character, since he made himself a protector, would need to be physically strong, but also a bit intimidating. But I left it at that and developed the rest later when I knew the characters and their different bonds more.

Ben is rough. When he meets the other characters for the first time, he has bruised knuckles, smokes and is described as "violent looking". Until he meets Hugh. Because Ben is not a bad person. Towards Hugh, who has chronic pain and relies on an IV throughout the book, he's gentle, slow and careful.

So I decided to give him a backstory that would back up this behaviour. I made him a boy who had to fit in with the bullies in his city, to avoid get beaten up himself. But he knows that's not who he wants to be, and that's why he's now here with the other characters, to escape from it. And here he meets Hugh, who allows him to be that person he actually wants to be.

So throughout the book, Ben's knuckles heal. His smoking becomes less. He's happier, nicer, more protective and gentle.

If you want to know how they look in a scene, this is a small snippet, just so that you can get to see these thought progresses in action.

So, to create a character, you just have to start with the basics and work from there. And that can be along the lines, while you're writing. You don't need to have anything figured out while you're writing. That will come when you get to know your world and characters more!!

[bfdiredux]

Character proposal: Cake

I feel like Cake didn't get enough time to shine in the whole of BFDI.

With The Losers getting rewritten to give each member more agency, Cake will have his time!

Cake has untreated DPD developed pre-BFDI.

his parents are not in a healthy relationship!! But they refused to break up for Cake's sake. It... Didn't go as planned.

He also had MEEEAAAAN school bullies.

By his appearance in the show, Cake is around the age of a young adult.

Cake is shy and an overall very sweet person. He's well-intentioned and easily bothered.

A bit of a Goiky's Dragons fan.

Cake is a HUUUGE Loser fan. During his teenagehood he used to listen to podcasts from Loser, buy merchandise, and watch content featuring Loser-- he found those to be good distractions. Hearing Loser's trans experience helped Cake go through his own.

He once got to go to a performance. His grandparents took him!

Cake is SO HAPPY to see Loser in BFB,, but also kinda nervous. THAT'S HIS IDOL!!

He follows Loser around like a lost puppy and goes to Loser for help with his problems. He's the same with the rest of The Losers-- but not nearly as much as he is with Loser.

Loser is eliminated. For a while, Cake's... uncertain. He grows closer to other members of The Losers instead and wow! I am going to let this team be dysfunctional with or without loser, especially after everyone realizes hey. Hey! Loser's not someone to put on a pedestal.

There's tension on The Losers. Past drama Cake isn't familiar with is stirred up and uncomfortable amount. Firey and Leafy are NOT playing nice. (Seriously, Leafy joining The Losers made Firey meaner.) Pin dances around the topic of BFDIA. Coiny is struggling to mend things between him and Firey. Eggy and Needle are TRYING to hold everything together. Cake is just... Here. He's not actually that close to anyone. Hm.

When Two comes and Loser escapes Four, Cake is uncertain about switching shows. Cake's been doing better without Loser and I think I know how to seal that.

Kickstart the friendship between Book and Cake.

Loser is off being Loser, probably telling contestants to do what they think is right. Yeah. But not Cake.

Perhaps this is the start of Cake's realization. Hr doesn't need Loser. He doesn't need The Losers.

He comes across Book after she and Taco had a tense talk. Cake stands there awkwardly, Book asks if he's alright, he kinda nods and looks away.

Book is learning the power of healthy communication. She is quick to ask Cake--

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The weight on him starts to lighten. It feels good.

So, he follows Book to TPOT, walking with her off-screen and talking about his experiences as his voice fades out.

In TPOT, Cake joins Just Nots with Book.

This is a WONDERFUL IDEA!! He gets into an old interest and starts a Goiky's Dragons campaign with the whole team. They also get along wonderfully!!

Buuuuuut there's Pillow. Cake doesn't say anything to her but he doesn't appreciate the way she treats him or Bomby. Those two are the first in TPOT to have a strained relationship with her.

Pillow also ended their Goiky's Dragons campaign. Thanks. Wow.

Cake gets to be friends with everyone but finds himself closest with Book. The two talk about their history with each other. Book can empathize with Cake's struggles with The Losers and his DPD. Book actually helps Cake through it up until his elimination.

A series of shorts could be made to flesh out side characters(think BFDI:TPOT: Plan Dissolve Adhesive) and Cake would be one of the perfect characters for it. He gets out pretty early in TPOT :[

[chronosdawn]

I love the whole reverse isekai Caleb thing and I think I need more of it (Caleb or the other LIs). Thank you for that post🫶

Hi anon, I'm really glad you liked the reverse isekai Caleb post! Reverse isekai and isekai are some of my favourite tropes so I spend a not insignificant amount of time thinking about them. Because Caleb and Xavier are my top two faves, I have the most thoughts on them at the moment so here are my reverse isekai Caleb and Xavier headcanons (I will have a think about the other LIs and try to post about them at a later date ;) ).

Warnings for canon-typical Caleb behaviour and some mature implications in Xavier's section.

Also just for anyone who's not familiar with the term, reverse isekai is where a fictional character ends up in the "real" world. My take on it for Love and Deepspace is that the LIs have been able to percieve you as the player with MC effectively acting as their link to you in game before suddenly finding themselves in our world.

Caleb

As I alluded to in this post Caleb WILL basically take over when it comes to household chores. It's pretty hard to stop him as by the time it occurs to you that you should vacuum the floors or do the laundry, he's already doing it. He also makes it a point to learn what your favourite foods and in no time at all, he's making them to a higher standard than most restaurants.

Caleb wants to know everything about you, your likes, your dislikes, who you're close to in this world, your quirks, etc. He tried to glean as much as he could from the other side of the screen but now he's no longer confined to the game world, he's going to take advantage of it. He's very observant when it comes to you so he picks up on a lot without you ever actually telling him, meaning you don't necessarily catch on until you one day realise he seems to know you better than people you've been friends with for years.

If you have a good relationship with your family, Caleb will 100% want to not only meet them but also ingratiate himself into the household. He doesn't push, but if you mention going to see them, he'll suggest he comes along (he wants to make sure you get there safely and isn't it easier if you have someone along to carry your luggage?). It doesn't help that when he's making an effort to be likeable, Caleb's honestly pretty difficult for even the most stern parent to dislike. He's good-looking, very helpful around the house and so obviously dotes on you that chances are even if you insist the two of you aren't dating, you will then be faced with some level of doubt.

Speaking of which, basically everyone you end up introducing Caleb to (which is almost everyone you know because he is extraordinarily good at inserting himself into your life—dropping off lunch for you at work and meeting your colleagues in the process, getting you to introduce him to your friends when he comes to pick you up after a night out or after he encourages you to invite them over) will assume you're together because there is no other way to explain how he acts around you that makes even a single bit of sense.

On the subject of dating, Caleb absolutely does not push for it all, especially if you appear to have no interest. It's not that he doesn't want to be involved with you like that, he really, really does, but he's honestly just so happy to finally be in the same world as you, to able to take care of you like this, that he doesn't want to jeopardize that. You'll still be able to catch the longing in his eyes when he looks at you though.

Xavier:

This man is a complete menace in a reverse isekai setting and only about 50% of it is on purpose.

Do NOT leave Xavier unattended in your kitchen. He WILL try to cook for you and he is just trying to be helpful but he WILL almost burn your house down. If you like cooking for yourself, he'll also want to join in, you can get around this by giving him simple tasks that are far away from any sources of ignition.

While you're out at work or college during the day, Xavier will spend his time napping and making his way through your book collection. This doesn't sound particularly hazardous and it isn't unless your book collection contains any romance books featuring spicy scenes. If it does, then when you get home, expect to be met with the sight of Xavier lounging on your furniture, heavy lidded blue eyes looking up at you over the top of a book you recognise all too well as he asks whether you like that sort of thing. Unless you want to be part of a very enthusiastic re-enactment later on, you'll need to tell him a firm no.

In terms of the positives of suddenly having Xavier living with you, if you have a poor sleep schedule, he proves pretty effective at fixing it. As it turns out, it’s much harder to put off going to bed when you have a man with the face of an angel asking if you’re staying up because you don’t want to cuddle with him.

While he’s far less coddling than Caleb, Xavier’s also pretty good at picking up on your moods and acting accordingly. If you seem down, he’ll softly suggest you go out somewhere. If you’re worn out, you’ll find yourself being drawn into a nap on the couch.

If you introduce Xavier to any of your male friends, he’s not outwardly rude to them but prepared for him to subtly position himself between you and them while you’re talking, along with much more obviously linking his fingers with yours.  Also if you have any Love and Deepspace merch of any of the other LIs, maybe put it somewhere out of sight unless you want to have a hard time walking the next day.

[docholligay]

Hi!

I wanted to ask if you could write a bit about the mentorship/fatherhood aspect of Ed and Roy’s relationship, as you mentioned in an earlier post.

It’s a dynamic I find super compelling, and I’d really love to read your thoughts on that.

So sorry if I am disappointing via bad phrasing, but I don't quite mean, "Roy is Ed's father figure." That's very clean and neat and digestible, and I see the relationship between them as anyting but.

PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE SEEN TO EPISODE 16 AND MY OPINIONS COULD VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH CHANGE BY THE END OF THE SHOW. I AM ONE THIRD THROUGH THE SHOW. ALSO PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING SPOIL ME FOR ANYTHING JUST RIDE THE CYCLONE WITH ME.

I think this is something Ed wants from Roy, and maybe even that Roy wants to offer Ed, but he can't. He is not equipped. Ed hates his fucking father. When Roy pops up, Ed sees this very cool guy who is a great alchemist and is taking an interest in Ed. Ed has a whole fucking. Journey. at the end of episode 5. His first word upon seeing how Roy can absolutely wreck house are "Awesome!" He plays completely into Roy's plan.

And then he realizes Roy knew what was going to happen on the train, and that he let himself be played, and THEN, he realizes Roy told him to come to take the test thought it wouldn't be allowed, but Roy moved the pieces to allow him to do it but testing him., and suddenly we have this whole thing where Ed has an older man, who is skilled, that he wants to impress and test himself against. He is frustrated by Roy, but pleased to be a person of interest.

"But Doc, it's not like Roy is particularly nice to him." Absolutely I agree. I don't know that Ed is looking for tenderness so much as he is willing to accept PRESENCE. His dad has been absent for so long we get the impression from the opener that Ed doesn't have a solid idea of WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE. So, there's fucking Roy!

And I want to reiterate, at this moment: I do not think Roy has the emotional chops for this even if Ed was the kind of guy it would be easy to have this with. Even if Ed were say, Al. On my top list of anime characters who should never have children, Roy and Hawkeye are right the fuck up there. They are not okay and I don't know that they can become so. I love Roy. He's so fun to think about. He and Hawkeye's relationship is my fucking piranesi maze that confounds and shelters me. But, even if he was inclined he does not HAVE IT TO GIVE.

I mean we see Ed sort of low key perform this desire for an older man to take an interest in him and test himself against them in Tucker, too. I think this is just a thing young Ed wants. He wants to be the scion, so to speak, of a clever alchemist.

And so far as Roy wanting something from Ed, in that kinda vein, I think he wants to Ed to be smarter and do better, and escape the sort of shit Roy did. I think Roy is pleased that Ed passed his test, and also, answered the VERY VAGUE CALL of "come see me in in Central City." Ed did not have to answer that. Roy saw a glimpse of himself But also, I think Roy is angry that he saw a glimpse of his younger self, and his younger self is still stupid! And driven to the point of blindness! He wants to guide Ed but cannot actually manage it in any positive way what so fucking ever. The BEST thing he can offer Ed is to fucking fight him and then get PTSD about it.

And I think that ALSO makes Roy angry. Ed is such a reflection of his failures and frustrations and he doesn't have a way of dealing with that. Roy has a lot of shit going on. I don't know his whole deal and I can only guess, and some of that guessing is pure asspull desire because I want interesting things for Roy. But, trying to be hemmed in, we know he is struggling with his actions in Ishbal, we know he is sometimes at odds with the upper brass, we know he is maneuvering for power constantly while also trying to cover that, we know that he has Scar hot on his heels, we know he is dealing with the effective capture of the man who saved his life. Roy is going through it.

And he projects so much of this on Ed, which, I am not making excuses for Roy, I am making explanations. I think his behavior toward Ed is fucking buckwild. I LOVE the moment in 16 when Ed KNOCKS HIM and Roy reacts so aggressively, in a way that, looking at three, isn't even true to the moment Roy sees him, but Ed was so out of it he didn't know, and Roy is positioning things that Ed might be AFRAID are true, that at core he's fucking scared, and it reeks beautifully of the quality of the hit. He GOT Roy between the ribs. Kinda while stabbing blind--I do think Ed should be smarter with his intel.

Roy WANTS Ed to be grateful and receptive. That is not Ed. Ed WANTS Roy to be patient and encouraging. That's not Roy. They see each other as mirrors to a person they could be and it poisons the well. Even if they really really wanted it*. It's sort of more emblematic of a failed father/son relationship than whatever the fuck is going on with Ed's dad because Ed's dad is mostly going to function as a third act reveal and not a person (ASSUMING I AM RIGHT PLEASE DO NOT CONFIRM OR DENY)

Anyway, to sum up a post that boy does not smell of rewatching 3 episodes--Roy and Ed can never be the rock solid father/son mentor/mentee relationship I think both of them have idealized because they are both so fucked.

*It's not even that I don't think they couldn't get along but Ed would have to move ahead and grow so much as an alchemist and as a person for that to happen. They would have to move beyond the power situation they have now and see each other more closely to colleagues. I think Ed and Roy could even find kindness for each other in a more obvious way, but boy would it take a lot of work and time.

PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE SEEN TO EPISODE 16 AND MY OPINIONS COULD VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH CHANGE BY THE END OF THE SHOW. I AM ONE THIRD THROUGH THE SHOW. ALSO PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING SPOIL ME FOR ANYTHING JUST RIDE THE CYCLONE WITH ME.