#and the fact i was like but is okay cuz the divorce&moving out should be over by the end of the year so i just need to hang on a little bit

[the-firebird69]

Genesis - Home By The Sea / Second Home By The Sea (Official Music Video)

This place is 100% maintenance all day and night I have to admit it's harder with the max but we have to get to work and diminish their number here and it's working they are diminishing and these are important generals other generals won't last we need to tell you the pseudo empire is using advanced techniques now these people's days are numbered but we have to move in recognizing that fact and we're not doing it enough. We get to use at least what they're using.

This song is about A series of unfortunate events it's about where it's filmed and they lied it's not in BC it's in Newfoundland and it is part of where our son grew up he went there on vacation to St John and the surrounding area and to the narrows and where are the narrows are is what it means it's a passage and it's a narrow one and people should get it it's a way to go to heaven but it goes up to the stone ships now this is some of their work and at least we say it is Trump is sitting on Newfoundland and yeah the roots go down and they come in contacts with a huge cavern in the ocean when there's a massive one with diamonds in it that are 300x400 MI and 500x700 MI over by far be the most powerful laser on Earth and it can fire downwards too now people are seeking that out and divorce developing a war is developing that at least to this other cavern that is full of celestials tons of them and people want to take them over so he will be ruined there if he tries to hold it he will disagree no disappear we do hear it. The Roots reach down to a pyramid as they do in Florida the one up there is much larger than this one it's about three times the size and could be one of the master pyramids and it is on everybody is going after this boy Trump he's a child and he's evil and nasty needs to be put in his place and for real you people are not doing your jobs. Trump harasses anybody that helps our son the guy whose area this is who's to kidnap everyone is helping our son the most and that's BG it just shows you he knows what it does this guy Trump is willing to forfeit everything to treat our son badly cuz he's sitting on this stuff and he thinks he can get it and no you started the world with the max and we're stop him too. This is becoming very huge today very huge people are breaking it out our son and daughter and their children and in law children and the people and also one of the major players pair is Apollo and goddess wife and kratos and goddess wife. They're major players and he has his goofball running around as his character he has a version it looks like it the name is our son's character best son gets a lot of help from us and he knows it a lot of help and he needs it and he can't do the job without it it says right now and is doing well we know it's going pretty good soon as personal life will pull up a little and these people will be gone it's true his mouth healed almost completely overnight that's pretty fast and an oxygen is going up... And yeah my son does a whole bunch of crimes as kratos and Hera as is goddess wife they're out there doing tons of stuff while John remillard will see nearby and you'll find out it's Dan.

They get very beat up for it and I can't really say stuff

This is a huge deal with us this band the way they think it's our two daughter well our one daughter and son each is this is really the beginning of our lives then we'll post why

Thor Freya

Olympus we're not finished we're not done have a cab means that and it means abacus and we are to continue to use secretive methods including the device itself it works very well these days we have one that has a few more things in it but this is something that works okay you can't really open those things unless you know how we're going to go for another level security and we have to screen things before they go out but this is exactly what it means it also means that harbor on the Saudi Arabian peninsula and they go there and they're trying to figure out what it is and I think that it's a ship that we own or run same with tell Majid at Armageddon. We'll proceed now and fix this area and people who have problems

[like-wuatafauq]

Not me having a 2hr 30 min therapy appointment then go file for divorce

[slashingdisneypasta]

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Twenty Years Separated and Getting Divorced 

Notes:

This is inspired by Sweet Home Alabama, with Reese Witherspoon and Josh Lucas. 

Plot: After 20 years you finally come back to the town you grew up in, which is now basically non-existent except for a couple ghost buildings and wild cows to find your husband and his family, who are the only ones crazy enough to still live there, and get your fucking divorce finalised.

Warnings: Swearing, divorce? 

~~~

Hoyt sees me strolling up to the house before I even reach the porch. Our eyes meet, a short moment of nostalgia passes quickly- and World War 3 begins. 

“Well, hi to you too! Just fabulous to see you, after… half a goddamn century.” Charlie gets up from his seat on the porch and now stands up to 5 feet taller than me… because he’s still on the god forsaken porch and I’m the ground. Goddamn, his ego’s still as big as that ridiculous hat that he’s wearing now. Since when is he sheriff? He didn’t even go to college- I know; I’ve been married to him since we were 18. “Fucking city slicker.”

My jaw falls open. City slicker?? “You know damn well I grew up right here, you two-bit drama queen. And I live in Alice Springs now. Maybe it ain’t your country but it is still butt crack nowhere, you old fucking coot!” After a second, I also say. “And I’m not even 50 years old yet, you asshole!”

“Pft.” He chews on something in his mouth, maybe his cheek, and sets his jaw. “You lived here, what? 20 years ago then? If you wanna get specific about it.” Okay, that’s better, more accurate at least, but I could’ve done without the attitude. “You lived somewhere else more than half your life- don’t go gettin’ excited and acting like you’re a local.”

I mean, going by that logic I’m a fuck-ton more southern then he is- Australia’s as southern as it gets without living in Antarctica. But I digress. We need to get this show on the road.

“I did not come all the way here to argue with you Charlie.” I roll my eyes and sigh deeply, stomping up the porch stairs to meet him at the top, scrunching up my shoulders and feeling slightly sick when he leans over the steps a moment later and spits thick brown shit into the dirt. Why is he always spitting? Why! If he has excess saliva like that, he should go get himself checked out! And if he’s chewing tobacco, then he fucking needs to stop! Restraining myself from saying so though by taking a deep breath as he straightens up again, I instead hold out the A4, manilla yellow envelope that encases our divorce papers - already signed by me, - to him… which he just looks at, of course. Difficult, ancient bastard. “I’ll pay!”

“Is that your way of askin’ for a divorce, honey bear?”

“Why, yes.” I smile, already feeling the relief of cutting ties from this man.

“Then I sweetly decline.” The smile is wiped off my face, and sketched onto his instead. He turns around and goes on into his home, letting the screen door slam shut hard behind him, too, after he gets in.

I sigh in frustration, close to a scream and stand there uselessly for a second before barging in after him and am about to yell for him to get back here, before a rustling sound alerts me to the door on my right and Luda Mae comes out of it. Closing it carefully shut behind her.

Immediately, my mood calms down considerably and I feel a startling, familiar warmth in my chest. The mood Charlie put me in just a second ago all but disappears seeing her. “Luda Mae!”

The moment she realises it’s me, she beams. “Oh, dear. I thought I heard you arguing outside with Hoyt, but I didn’t believe it!”

“Hoyt?” I blink, still smiling but in a confused way. Am I missing something?

“O-oh, I meant Charlie. Sorry, baby.”

After a tight hug we let go and assess each other.

I’m happy to see that she looks healthy. A little sweaty and tired, but she’s always been that way. It’s hard to not be, living here. It’s hot all day, every day - hell, they barely have winter in this part, -, and she’s never really been a summer kind of girl. I suggested to her a couple times that she could move away, but she always said that this is where their family had always lived- and they will always live here. Its where Charlie got it from.

I’m just getting to her eyes, and noticing of course immediately, the sad change in them from the last time I was here and forming a way to ask her if she’s okay when she tucks some grey hair behind her ear and asks me how I am. To be polite of course, I answer. Expecting to ask her the same right after.

“Aw, I’m doing just fine! Trying to get your stubborn son to give me a divorce, but apart from that life’s treating me well. I would love it if you could come visit me sometime in Australia, I have a guest bedroom where I picked the wallpaper and I just know you would love it. Soon as I looked at it, it was so you!” Her eyes brighten at the idea and she’s about to, bashfully decline I’m guessing, but Charlie stomps heavily down the old wooden stairs again like the attention seeking hippopotamus that he is. Has to let everyone know he’s entering. I roll my eyes. “Why don’t you just get a career on the stage, Charlie; They’ll announce your entrance for you. Jee-sus. Save you some time!”

He flashes me an unimpressed and joyless smile, as Luda Mae covers her mouth - not to hide her laughter from her son, but to be polite. She’s classy; I always liked that about her. In fact, I tried to be just like her growing up… I failed, but I still admire the quality on her, - and laughs a bit at my quip. Pride blossoms in my chest and makes me smile wider.

“You keep sweet talking me like that and I’ll never divorce you.”

My smile turns into a scowl and glare. “What do you want from me?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?” He stops beside Luda and drops the barrel of his shotgun back against his shoulder, like a soldier in Buckingham palace. What does he need that for right now?! “Besides, I’m too expensive for you darlin’.”

“I hate you.” I say slowly, so it gets through his skull and he understands. “And you hate me.” He nods in agreement, still looking far too smug and pleased with himself. “So why can’t we get divorced and never talk again?!” I fail to see a downside!!

“Cuz I like to see your feathers all ruffled.”

“You-“ A slew of insults are about to break free of my lips, but a loud, popping bang comes from the kitchen like something tried to get out, making me look startled from the closed door to the room, to Charlie and Luda Mae. “What was that!?”

“Well… “Charlie looks thoughtful for a second, like he truly doesn’t know what to tell me, before slowly turning his gaze on Luda. “I believe Momma just blew up her pie.”

“Wha- “For half a second, Luda Mae looks like she’s about to slap her son all the way to Tim Buk Tu, before smoothening out her features again and turning back to me. Pasting an honestly believable, bashful smile on her face and speaks in a restrained voice that gives away her displeasure. “Yes. Must have lost track of time.”

Well, clearly that’s a bare faced lie. “Nice try. Charlie can pull off a lie like that, but you cant, Luda. What is it?”

Her smile softens and in two seconds she has smacked Charlie -not enough to hurt. It’s just a warning slap for trying to make her sound like a bad baker when we all here know how great she is, - and takes my arm in hers, guiding me across the hall and into the living room. “Really darling, its nothing. Thomas’ havin’ a bad day. I’m sure he’ll buck right back up though when he sees you! Are you going to stay for dinner?”

Looking behind us, I squint dangerously at Charlie. “If Charlie won’t sign these now, I might not have a choice!” Turning back to Luda, I genuinely smile. “But I would genuinely love to stay and see Thomas and Monty too, and eat your cooking! Thank you for the invitation. Maybe I can help with dinner! I have gotten better since the last time I was here.”

Charlie scoffs at my words, walking in after me and beating us to the chairs. He drops down in a recliner while Luda sits us down on the couch together. “You mean when you broke my oven?” She grins, a cheeky glint in her eye and I sigh, embarrassed.

“Yes… “Giggling, I cover my face a moment before jumping back into the fray. “But I really have gotten better!”

“I’d love to see that dear.” And the great thing is, she really does seem to. She would give any number of chances just to see one of her kids - me included, even if I am just her daughter in law. For now, - succeed. For a moment the room is just silent, and I let myself remember what it was like to be here all the time - the good things, I mean. Don’t you worry though, I remember the bad things like fighting tooth and nail with Charlie better the anything, - and how that felt, before Luda claps her hands.

She doesn’t like emotional stuff, Luda. Charlie’s a drama queen, but that’s where the emotion showing stops in this family. Thomas takes after his mother in not being too emotional, ever, and Monty prefers to keep to himself. He always has, and he goes by that philosophy regarding everything. “Well, I’m assuming there’ll be no driving off after dinner- the airport is a solid 4-hour drive! And you will not be driving that long at night.” She sets me with a cold, stern look over her glasses for a moment and even though I’m a 40-year-old woman, I submissively nod to her like a teenager. “You’ll stay in the spare room! Hoyt- Charlie. Sorry. Go change the sheets in there, and I’ll go get Monty to give you company while I start up dinner! Chop chop.”

“Wh- Did you forget she’s here tryin’ t’ divorce me, Momma? I ain’t offering the bitch any pleasantries like that! -“

“You will and you will do it with your mouth shut, Charlie.” Luda Mae gets up to her feet and Charlie and I both crane our necks to see her face. She gets much quieter, and her gaze goes dark like a parents’ does when they’re pissed. “And watch your mouth.”

Charlie bows his head and gets up from his seat, going off to do as she says. “R-Right, momma.”

My grin gets so big it turns into a laugh, leaning back into the couch cushions as I watch Charlie walk off up the stairs, flipping me off when Luda leaves the room.

~~~TIME SKIP~~~

In the middle of the night, I get the bight idea to get the divorce done, immediately. If I don’t, I’ll just let time fly by again with Luda Mae and Monty, and Thomas who’s a grown up now, and I’ll never get it done. It has to be done now.

So I get out of bed, pull on my coat since I didn’t bring my dressing gown, grab the manilla file and a pen and leave the room. It doesn’t take me long to get to Charlie’s, seeing as its just down the hall, and I don’t knock before barging in. I close the door veeeeery slowly, and quietly, then sneak around to his side of the bed and take the shotgun that’s leaning against the bedside table, the handgun that sits on it, and the knife under his pillow- I still know my husband, thank you very much. And I know that if he hears someone in his room at night eh will not think or look, before shooting me in the head.

Dropping all the weapons carefully on the armchair in the corner of the room, no longer trying to be quiet as I sit down on the side of his bed that Charilie is not sleeping on. His eyes burst open at feeling the bed dip, and as he looks over to my form, his hand reaches out to grab the handgun of course, and… he calms down immediately to his cranky, exhausted, middle-of-the-night mess. “Y/N? What the fuck are you doing in here?? This ain’t your room anymore, piss off!”

“I know that, silly!” As he forces himself to sit up and carefully lean his back on the headboard, I hold up the manilla folder. I beam. “Just thought this would be a good time to get our affairs in order!”

“Well,” He takes a gulp from the water on his nightstand. He swallows it like it’s a rock, or a large pill. Is it even water? “You were wrong.”  

“Au contrair, mon frair.” I grin, looking around behind me and on the other side of the room for something hard to write on. Ah! Hopping off the bed for a second, I grab a large hardbacked recipe book. “It is the perfect time! You’re sleepy, which makes you 90 percent more likely to be swayed into signing these papers.” I pop the book on his lap, along with the appropriate papers and the pen. “There you go; Now remember, once you sign these, we never have to look at each other’s faces, ever, again. Think about how lovely that’ll be.”

Still with the suspicious liquid at his chin, Charlie slowly raises his eyebrows at me. “Girl, you better get those papers off my lap right now or I’m gonna tear ‘em up.”

“Eep!” Immediately, I snatch them back. Then glare at him as he takes another sip of the drink. “Please.”

“Ain’t no good manners ever made any difference with me.”

I let out a deep sigh, in utter frustration at him.

I turn fully to him, completely comfortable seeing him in his bed shirt and boxers this way- it’s been 20 years and his hair’s going grey, but it still feels natural, fine, to be like this with Charlie. That does not, though, mean that I want to be here. I cross my arms, leaning my shoulder into the headboard. “Why? Why wont you divorce me? Do you hate me that much?”

“No, ‘sweetie’. I love you that much.” I watch him as he sets his jaw, takes yet another sip and glances at me. I gesture for the glass, and he hands it to me.

Taking a gulp as I turn to settle my back against the headboard, I’m pleased to find that the water is not actually water. It’s vodka. Good, I need this after a statement like that from Charlie. “No, you don’t.”

“Don’t try to tell me what I do or don’t know.” Taking the glass back from me when I finish it off, he sets it on the table. I can tell he’s still sleepy, and aching to go back to dreamland, as his words are gentler than usual, and his movements are a struggle. “Bottom line is, Y/N. I’m finally getting everything I every wanted- and I’m not gonna to let you slip through the cracks again.”

“Hard to believe, Charlie. You never tried to contact me during those, oh, 20 years I was gone?” Turning my head, I raise my eyebrows at him.

Groaning from the effort, he turns around in his spot, takes one pillow from behind him and gives it to me. “Yeah, well, I was a bit busy helpin’ Mama raise Tommy. I never stopped thinkin’ a’ you as my wife, though. You’re mine, sugar. Whether you like it right now, or not.”

“What’s this for?” I ask, holding the pillow with a confused look.

“Sleep. Its too damn late for this conversation.” My jaw drops, as Charlie lays back down in his bed and snuggles under the blankets, closing his eyes. “If you sleep here, we can talk about this as soon as we wake up; If you go to your room, you’ll have to wait til’ dinner. Then Mama’ll make you stay another night… I suggest you lay down.” With that, he pats the bed as if as an order, and after a moment of thought I groan. Evil, conniving bastard.

I take off my jacket and lay it at the end of the bed, then get under the covers and lay down my head on the pillow, half annoyed and half ready to sleep- it is late, after all. I am pretty tired. And one more night in bed with Charlie isn’t going to kill me, besides… him still loving me? The news does give me something new to think about. It… it needs to be factored in.

A moment passes where we just lay on the different sides of the bed, him with his eyes closed and probably 2 seconds from entering a hypnogogic state and me unable to get comfortable, before I sigh in frustration again and just decide to try something.

Crossing the space between us without warning, I wrap my arms around his middle in a hug, and press my face the nook between where his throat is and his shoulder, smelling a shock of his scent for the first time in 2 decades and closing my eyes to it, trying to ignore the fast paced beating in my chest.

Goddamnit, it worked. I’m comfortable as fuck now.

Charlie doesn’t comment, thankfully, and just makes a sleepy noise and reciprocates the cuddle, pulling my body closer to him by the waist. My heart beats extra fast at it, but I try to focus on going to sleep.

Cuddling with your soon-to-be ex husband and enjoying it means nothing, right? Haha… hopefully.

[oceanspray5]

Ok but like.. the TUA siblings GREW. UP. TOGETHER. Shipping them IS incest and 100% Not Okay because they literally saw each other as siblings when growing up and even as adults. They refer to each other as sisters and brothers as well proving they weren't just "at boarding school" like some people in this Fandom claim. They're actual family.

Adopted family means real family! By saying the Hargreeves aren't "real" siblings cuz they're not biologically related is undermining adopted relations and that is not ok.

I thought Allison and Luther was the extent of it cuz it was in the show but apparently "harcest" is a thing in the fandom which is frankly disturbing and I realize the Allison and Luther ship is the root of why people think it's "ok" to ship the Hargreeves together.

First of all: Why can family relationships not be appreciated as family? Is it so hard to adore a dysfunctional well-written family for their platonic bonds that everyone and everything has to become a shipping matter?

Second: I hope to god Allison and Luther never actually become canon and the show only continues to make fun of their relationship moving onwards. The show should not be condoning it and I really hope that as ambiguous as it's being regarding them, they're not actually setting the stage for some sort of disturbing endgame for those two. Like Klaus said, "if you have to use the term technically, you're already in trouble" and therefore makes it clear that Allison and Luther's relationship is not justified no matter how much you all wish it to be.

Allison is shown to have been in a healthy loving marriage in S2 that she earned and put effort into and was happy with. Prior to that we also knew she's been married and divorced altho that was not at all in a healthy cuz she's basically manipulated her way into it and as a result learned some very hard lessons. My point being: Allison is shown to have enough sense and depth to form healthy romantic attachments now that she's lost so much due to her powers and knows not to use them in an improper way. She's a good person who makes mistakes but she's growing past her problems.

In S1 she was vulnerable and her childhood feelings clearly cropped up because she was struggling with her divorce and being unable to see her daughter. In S2 she has managed to make a life for herself. She has a husband who she loves and wishes she could bring back with her to her own timeline. Raymond and Allison's relationship is so real and healthy! To continue to ship Luther and Allison or to undermine Allison's feelings as just a fluke when she didn't have Luther is so disrespectful, and frankly, has racist connotations.

Luther on the other hand, has been isolated the most among the Hargreeves. He has an unhealthy attachment to Allison because he's never known any other girl. He will hopefully grow out of it now that he's been exposed to the world some more but even in S1 it is not at all healthy because Luther disrespects Allison and her choices a lot, all in some twisted view of protecting her. When Allison asks Vanya to be let go from the isolation room because she admits it was her fault that Vanya lost control, Luther refuses because he thinks he knows what's best for her despite Allison physically trying to fight him for it. He uses his superior strength and the fact that she can't use her power against her instead of listening to her. When Allison wants to approach Vanya by herself at the concert, knowing she can get her sister to calm down if only she approaches her, Luther decides to use her as a "distraction" in his plan and does not put any weight to her plan or understand the reasoning behind it despite his previous plan having failed. It's really troublesome how he keeps undermining her decisions because he thinks he knows best just because he cares for her and always views himself as Number One.

Even if you want to view Allison and Luther outside of any other relationship, they are not healthy because Luther is very controlling and unable to grow outside of his Number One persona as long as he is attached to Allison. In S2 he has to deal with Allison being married and tbh, he shows a lot of maturity. Yeah he's sulky about it (which is pretty normal for everyone) but he doesn't disrespect her or her relationship which is important character growth for him given his previous record of disregarding her choices. By S2, now that he's assimilated with people more and knows better how to handle interactions, he seems to have had some character growth and lost some of his controlling edge and likewise, learning to grow past his attachment to Allison. As long as he has Allison, he will not be able to let go of the Number One looking over his head because she was such a big part of his life during the time Reginald conditioned him to be that way.

The show doesn't portray Allison and Luther as some healthy ideal that must be endgame. They're dysfunctional people with an unhealthy attachment that they need to get past. Allison has gotten past it for the most part and Luther is gradually working through it as well. They're siblings with confused feelings because abusive Reggie Hargreeves forced them and the rest of the family into isolation for all of their formative years so they were all unable to deal with emotions in a healthy way. They're all emotionally stunted and the show makes it glaringly obvious. There's no reason why Allison and Luther's attachment to each other is not as unhealthy and as a result of their stunted emotional growth as the rest of their personalities.

The show doesn't condone the ship so the fandom shouldn't either let alone start shipping the rest of the siblings together! For the love of god, put some limits as to what you ship.

Platonic relationships and bonds can run as deep as romantic ones. You don't need to make a bond romantic to appreciate a duo's relationship. Stop undermining adoptive family by pushing your "not real siblings" agenda and learn to recognize that the show is (hopefully) trying to move Allison and Luther to a healthier endgame and none of the rest of the Hargreeves have romantic inclinations among each other either to be twisted into shipping material (I've seen some Five/Vanya and Ben/Klaus and it's disturbing).

I'm a very "live and let live" person when it comes to shipping. But seriously, shipping family members is just gross and the Hargreeves are, for all intents and purposes, a family. Start treating them like one!

[bigskydreaming]

@elfysparkles88​

#listen it's a universal problem#I love my mans Scott#everyone is always bagging on him WHY#Scott Summers#X-Men

Its because Scott Summers is inevitably compared and contrasted with those around him, and he has the great misfortune of running in the same circles as an all-star line up of like....just the absolutely most Ridiculous People to Ever Ridick.

We’re talking about a guy whose dad was abducted by aliens and from there went on to decide, welp, guess I gotta become a space pirate now, jaunty earring and all, no, shhh, shh, no, there are no alternatives, I gotta, no, I said no - SHUT IT, I SAID I GOTTA BE A SPACE PIRATE NOW ITS THE ONLY WAY. Oh btw, meet my fianceé. She’s an alien mercenary who is a little like a skunk but don’t call her that to her face or she’ll shoot you in yours. How’s that for swoonworthy, am I right, son?

We’re talking about a guy whose own son was a literal sixty year old Grumpy Old Man overburdened with world-weariness, wildly unnecessary shoulderpads and arthritic joints when Scott was barely hitting his third decade. With said son now randomly being a moody sixteen year old again, with a pet sentient sword he talks lovingly to, because apparently Nathan Summer’s take on teenage rebellion was to act out by being all LOL Fuck Time Travel Paradoxes and then rebelliously zooming around the space/time continuum while blasting a soundtrack of MCR probably, until he finally got a bead on his older self and shot himself in the face while being like “its not that I’m angry with you, I’m just disappointed” and look this is the part where your eyes are gonna wanna just glaze over so your brain can have a break, shhh, shh, don’t ask questions, just let it be, it happened, its a thing.

We’re talking about a guy whose brother rode a merry-go-round of “Am I a good guy this week or am I a bad guy because Reasons or sometimes Brainwashing or sometimes I Don’t Even Fucking Know, Look Don’t @ Me Bro, I Just Fucking Work Here, I’m Not In The Loop” for most of his twenties until dying in a fiery explosion only to inexplicably return years later as a coma patient who finally woke up one day and said “Whoa, just got back from tripping around the multiverse and boy do I have stories cuz apparently I’m the Nexus of All Realities, so hah, SUCK IT, big brother, and yes that is TOO a thing, shut up, LET ME HAVE THIS. Oh and also btw don’t spend a lot on your wedding gift for me and Lorna because I’m gonna leave her at the altar once I realize that I’m actually more in love with the random nurse lady who changed my bed pans while I was in a coma having a romantic rendezvouz with her in Paris in my brain courtesy of her psychic eight-year old kid trying to play matchmaker for her cuz like, she doesn’t date much apparently but its whatever, this is FINE, I have no objections. Ugh why are you looking at me like that Scott, no, I don’t need to “talk” with someone about everything I’ve ‘been through,’ ugh I’m HAPPY you asshole, god, why don’t you ever want me to just be HAPPY ugh you just have to control EVERYTHING with your over-bearing BS like “I am concerned your decision-making processes might be affected by all the people tampering with your decision-making processes over the years” like umm DID I ASK? No? I didn’t think so? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD, SCOTT, UGH THAT DOES IT, IM RUNNING AWAY TO BE A SUPERVILLAIN AGAIN AND THIS TIME ITS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT, YOU’LL BE SORRY WHEN I CRY HAVOK AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR THIS TIME FOR SURE, AND OMG FOR THE LAST TIME I KNOOOOOOW THAT’S NOT HOW ITS SPELLED, ITS ABOUT THE AESTHETIC SCOTT, ITS CALLED HAVING A SENSE OF STYLE, UGH, LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIVE.”

We’re talking about a guy whose other little brother randomly showed up and started killing people one day being like “hahaha surprise, bet you all forgot about me, PS, I’m REALLY FUCKING MAD AT YOU ALL FOR FORGETTING ABOUT ME” because the world’s most powerful telepath made everyone forget about him and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day they all had once and this is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, this is normal. As is the way his newly discovered slash remembered slash resurrected slash recently returned from spending the last decade fucking around as a disembodied energy ghost on a rock up in Earth’s orbit little brother then decided the Earth just wasn’t big enough for the both of them, the both of them in this case meaning both him, singular, and his Angst, as a wholly separate and towering entity in its own right. So instead he fucked off to space and decided to conquer a vast alien empire and spend the next several years being their god-emperor or whatever until he got bored with that. And also he kinda sorta killed their dad for a bit but whatever, its fine, he got better, and then he also kinda sorta died for a bit himself but whatever, its fine, he got better, and there was that whole interstellar war between himself and the Inhumans but whatever that wasn’t even his FAULT, Scott, THEY STARTED IT, god, do you ever stop JUDGING ME AND MY LIFE CHOICES and PS I’m still mad at you for killing Xavier, you fucking asshole, not because you did it but because like, you KNOW I wanted to do it, I had a whole fucking villain monologue moment about it and everything, you were literally there, UGH WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HAVE NICE THINGS?!?! YOU ARE THE ENEMY OF FUN AND JOY AND HEY MAYBE YOU WERE THE REAL VILLAIN ALL ALONG, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? HUH? MR. I’M THE BOSS, WAIT WHO’S THE BOSS? OH YEAH STILL ME, SCOTT, I’M THE BOSS, YOU GOTTA STOP BEING A SPACE EMPEROR GABE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE THE BOSS, ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO BE THE BOSS BECAUSE I’M THE BOSS AND I SAID SO AND YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY OR I’LL TELL DAD.” 

And that’s not even getting into how we’re also talking about a guy who basically ended up divorcing his first wife and suing for sole custody on the grounds of “Well, your Honor, she tried to sacrifice our son on a literal demonic altar in order to summon Hell to Earth to destroy everything just to get back at me after I left her. Yes, your Honor, I understand that is in fact Asshole Behavior, but there were extenuating circumtances, you see, the woman I left her for was my first love before her who I thought was dead. And also, she was literally my wife before my wife was. No, I don’t mean I was married before Maddie, I mean Jean was kinda pretty much already Maddie before Maddie was Maddie. Its this whole clone thing. Look, I’m just saying it was a complicated situation and I know I have my part to play in it, but I still stand by my conviction that trying to sell out our entire planet and species to the legions of Hell while using the innocent blood of our ten month old as the Golden Ticket to the Chocolate Factory was still a little over the top and not really the right way to handle it either. Also, I contend that I can provide a better home environment at the moment than someone who is insisting on being addressed as The Goblin Queen because what even is that, honestly, Your Honor, and also, she also brainwashed my brother into trying to kill me on her behalf, which to be fair does happen about every other month anyway, but still, like. Dick move, you know?”

And we’re also talking about a guy whose second wife who was kinda sorta his first wife but only in that It Ain’t Bigamy If Its A Clone Thing way....like, I mean. Its kinda hard NOT to come across as the bland one in the relationship when your second wife occasionally moonlights as the AirBnb of choice for a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction who is pretty infamous for the ragers she hosts every time she pops into town for a visit, all smiles and (literal) sunbeams (of scorching lethality) and “Lol hey hot stuff, remember me?” As if someone who ate an alien civilization’s sun the last time she hit a Mood is like....really in danger of ever being “New phone, who dis?”ed. But that is neither here nor there, much like the sentients of Alpha Centauri Bumfuckville after she went all Goodnight Sun, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Solar System on their corner of the galactic neighborhood, because.....tbh I don’t think she ever actually said “why” there. Its one of those things where if you don’t already KNOW why a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction has decided its nighty-night time for this particular zipcode.....like.....that’s not really something you just ASK, y’know? Its....tacky, probably. Also, low on the self-preservation instincts, probably.

Plus we’re talking about a guy whose second marriage to Yet Another Woman It Probably Should Have Registered As A Bad Idea To PIss Off Like This ended in like....so, okay, this was a bit more His Bad than even Round One was, courtesy of a “Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Show-stopping” reinterpretation of what was up until this point te much more ambiguous and metaphorically named “Mental Affair” concept. Though it must be said, Scotty always has skewed a bit more towards the literal minded in his personal approach to things, so, y’know. That tracks. But regardless, the pattern remains consistent here, as once again, its not always easy to register on peoples’ radar as anything other than the Plus One when your newest paramour prides herself on being both the entire planning committee AND star attraction of Victoria’s Secret (assuming that said Secret is Secret Aims at World Domination) Presents: A Renaissance Faire. But in an evil and also kinky way. Except now with sixty percent less evil on account of how Emma’s reformed these days, but not a hundred percent less evil because she’s not like, REFORMED reformed, cuz that would be boring, eww, could you imagine, no, you couldn’t, because she won’t let you and she can do that, she’s that good at telepathy and that bad at boundaries. Still the same amount of kinky as before though, but like. That’s just about Strong Branding. After all, at the end of the day Emma Frost is above all else, a good businesswoman.

But yes, she is also a big fan of the Aesthetic, with that aesthetic being Her Whims On Steroids because like they say, go big or go home, and Emma Frost does not believe in going home when she can simply acquire your home instead. Hate the game, not the player. She didn’t make the rules, she just came to win. Point being, its hard to follow up an act like Jean-Who-Is-Sometimes-Phoenix-And-Sometimes-Dark-Phoenix-And-Oh-Hell-She-Cant-Even-Keep-Track-So-How-Could-Anyone-Else-Really, but say what you will about Emma’s wardrobe, she’s more concerned with clothing herself in unapologetic take no prisoners ambition, and as such, her being the follow-up to Scott’s epic romance with his childhood sweetheart turned literal cosmic embodiment of fire and passion, like.....this was never a big checkmark in the con side of a pro and con list for Emma. It was more like oh, yes, hello there, Challenge Absolutely Fucking Accepted.

Which, y’know, all the points to House Frost for showing spine and boy howdy, that’s a spine alright.....but at the same time, going head to head with someone who is classified as a galactic threat when people are deliberately low-balling her, like, for no other reason than you’re bored and your manicure appointment isn’t for another couple hours.....like that’s the kind of thing where it has to be pointed out that there were possibly alternative options worth considering somewhere in between ‘having no spine’ and ‘spiting cosmic entity who can kill you with her brain by stealing her man and saying come at me bro because like....my spine, let me show you it.”

But again, just to reiterate the premise here.....our thesis here today is that Scott Summers Gets a Bad Rap For Being Bland or Boring or Not Standing Out, But In Reality The Issue Is Just That All The People He Knows Are Truly Ridiculous People.

In other words, Scott Summers is no more the Everyman of the X-Men than any of his Truly Ridiculous Friends and Family.

Because an actual everyman would have bounced out of that madhouse way the fuck back in Chapter One: In Which Things Just Got Ridiculous.

Cut to Scott Summers, in contrast: *looks around, purses lips, weighs options* Nah. This is fine.

See also:

His daughter, who didn’t so much arrive after the traditional nine months of waiting and preparing for a bundle of bouncing baby joy but instead just like...plopped back into the past as a full grown woman hailing from a dystopian future she was hellbent on preventing by any means necessary, even if that means had Scott frantically shouting RACHEL NO as she screamed RACHEL YES and sprinted straight at someone like Selene (a villain who has survived 17,000 years of pissing people off and making enemies of actual, literal gods) while thinking “oh yeah, I got this.”

(To be fair, she probably DID have it, or would have, if Logan hadn’t chosen that moment of all moments to have his once-centennial contemplation of “Wait, what if....murder is...NOT good?” Never underestimate the daughter of a cosmic goddess.)

Or see also also:

Scott’s original classmates, including Doctor Hank “I’m not an over-archiever, I’m just stress-eating because its lunchtime and I’ve only revolutionized two whole fields of scientific study so far today,” McCoy, Warren “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I’m a billionaire, wait no, I’m just kidding don’t hate me at all hahaha I’m too sexy” Worthington III, and Bobby “I may look cute and unassuming and like my only priority in life is video games but sike, I too am a potentially cosmic level immortal being of nigh-unlimited power or at least I will be whenever I get around to tapping that potential like I’m currently tapping xy up down A + BBA like a boss, now shhh, don’t interrupt me while I’m kicking ass at Mario Kart I said I’ll GET TO THAT LATER, ugh, JEEZ, my priorities are FINE, Scott, like get off my back already, you’re not even my real dad” Drake.

In conclusion:

Scott Summers is valid, and there may be legions drinking his Hatorade, but make no mistake, its not that he’s Less Than, its that every single person in his social circle is just that damn Extra.

[stuffy-attic]

Tipsy [Reader x LOV Spinner] Part 2/2

Here’s the link for part one!

Somehow you ended up home and okay. And somehow the memory of the previous day, despite the alcohol’s best attempt, was very much remembered in that afternoon when you finally dragged yourself out of bed. Not an easy feat considering how much you just wanted to disappear. Despite the rumblings of a hungry stomach and the long gap of time since your last meal, you brushed past your kitchen without a second thought. The diner just down the street sounded a lot better than making a pile of dirty dishes that future you would be too bummed out to wash.

This day is going to fucking suck.

 Maybe I should just run away, you considered as you poked at your half-eaten sandwich. Could go to America, take up a new identity, and never interact with people ever again. Maybe just live alone in the woods – become the local big foot. It shouldn’t sound appealing, but it did.

“Surprised I haven’t heard from the crew yet…” you mumbled as you fished for your phone; the lingering embarrassment had caused you to forget to even check it when you first got up. “Should be about time to hear something- ah?” Opening the phone, unfortunately, lead to no answers as the screen didn’t light up. You pressed a few buttons but there was still no response. Right didn’t charge it.

Originally the plan was to check messages and likely head over to the bar, even if there wasn’t anything, but that went out the window. Shigaraki was just going to have to wait right now. You needed a working phone and its charging cord first.

You boxed up the remnants of your food, paid and tipped the (delightfully) quiet waitress, and headed out. The walk to your apartment wasn’t long. But the scene you found when you arrived? That was confusing.

“She’s not opening the goddamn door! Yeah. I was knocking for five minutes, of course she would’ve heard! Well she hasn’t been answering that either, right?” Spinner pulled one hand roughly through his untied hair before banging on the door once more. “I am!” he yelled into the phone.

Ohhhh shit. You didn’t know which was more distressing: the fact that you were apparently late to some league business or the fact that the last person you wanted to see was the one at your door. Should? No… but maybe… You swayed at the top of the stairs, trying to decide if you should run off or not while you had the chance.

“Hey!” A middle-aged man emerged from the apartment next door. “Fuck face. What do you think you’re doing?” Spinner stopped his banging but didn’t get a chance to rebuttal. “Fucking dumbass lizard. All you mutants this fucking dumb or something?”

Oh not this guy. Mind made up. “Hey yourself!” You hopped up the last of the stairs. “Don’t fucking talk to him like that.”

Spinner wheeled around and shut his phone with a snap. Whoever was on the other end must’ve been happy about that. You stood beside your reptilian coworker. It wasn’t the first time you’d had beef with this jerk and you sure as hell weren’t about to let him treat Spinner like trash.

“What’re you saying, dumb bitch?”

His words didn’t deter you in the least. “Look here ass fuck, talk shit about him again – no, if you so much as look funny at another mutant I’ll show up at your ex-wife’s apartment with aaallllll the receipts I got on you holding out on your income amount during the divorce proceedings and the child support payments you somehow keep skirting around. I will personally make sure that the court of law shoves a gavel up your fucking ass. Yeah? Get it?”

The man’s mouth flapped a few times but he had nothing of value to say and apparently couldn’t form a cohesive thought to save his life. Face fuming and red and he stomped back into his apartment and slammed the door.

“Will that guy ever learn to not be such an ass?” you asked as you fished out your keys. “I’m just gonna go ahead and tell his wife anyway. He’s had it coming for a long time.” Don’t look at him. Maybe he’ll leave. Maybe he doesn’t even remember! Yeah!

Click. The door unlocked but you didn’t even make it into the threshold before a strong scaly arm was barring the way. You actually walked straight into, nearly dropping your to-go box. “Hey!”

“Hey? Hey?” Spinner’s voice wasn’t much more than a growl. “That’s all you got to say?”

Freezing at his tone, you slowly looked up and locked eyes. Oh he’s angry. Fuck. “Yeah?”

His scaly jaw tensed and his dark eyes narrowed. “You didn’t go back to the bar.”

That’s what this is about? What the fuck does that matter? Luckily logical brain was able to be the one in charge today. You took a slow breath to temper yourself for what was going to be a tight situation. “No. I wasn’t… in the mood.”

“I told you to go back there for a reason.”

“I didn’t-”

“You could have gotten injured or attacked.”

“I’m hardly helpless!”

Spinner paused before he huffed. The air tickled your face but you didn’t flinch or look away. “Are you telling me that if something had happened and you had been attacked that you were in the right mind to respond to it?”

“… no.”

“I told you to go back. I…” Spinner looked away, “I didn’t want to walk you home, but I didn’t want you to go on your own either. You going home like that then not showing up earlier and not answering the door or your phone… I – we thought something had happened to you!” His eyes bored into yours once more.

You studied his face. Whose idea was it to come here? Did someone else suggest it first? “How did you know where I live?”

“Toga told me.”

“Because you asked…?”

Spinner ignored the question. “Learn to turn your phone on.”

“Right.” You didn’t even bother to mention that it was currently dead. You bit your lip. Should I? I can’t leave it to fester I guess… “Yesterday…”

Both of you were silent.

Please meet me halfway on this. “When I said what I said – about the… me like you thing, I was being serious…” You gripped the box tightly as you hugged yourself with one arm. Eye contact was difficult as fuck but it could serve an important role in signifying to Spinner that you were being truthful. “It’s wasn’t the alcohol or Dabi.”

“Yeah about that.” He finally dropped his arm and sighed. “I… they told me.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Who did?”

“Everyone. Earlier. They were all excited asking if we had… they thought we had left together and you confessed and we…” He shifted. “I guess,” the leather creaked as Spinner shrugged, “maybe it wasn’t you trying to play me.”

“So you don’t think it’s some cruel prank now?” The question was a little bitter (yesterday had really sucked after all) but there was a little bit of hope renewed.

“No. I should’ve listened-”

“No, Spinner. Look…” You sighed and rocked on your feet. “I know people have treated you like shit before just because of how you look – which is dumb cuz you’re really cool, so I shouldn’t have expected you to just be immediately receptive to it. I could’ve gone about the entire thing a better way I guess.

“I definitely shouldn’t have let Dabi instigate anything… I’m sorry.”

It took a minute for you to realize that the noise coming from him was a chuckle. “You’re sorry? I should be the only one that’s sorry.”

“You don’t-”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you and being… rude,” Spinner said. “Even if I was upset it wasn’t okay of me to just leave you there like that either.”

“Spinner-”

“Shuichi.” The look on your face must’ve been especially dumb because he laughed. “My name. It’s Iguchi Shuichi.”

You nodded. “Right. Well, Shuichi, thanks for coming to check on me. Sorry I didn’t listen yesterday or show up this morning – or really give any indication that I wasn’t dead.” Maybe we can just roll right over this now. Pretending it never happened would be best. Although Dabi probably won’t let the damn thing go. Or maybe he’s already bored of it…

It was difficult to get a damn read on that stapled asshole. About as difficult as it was to get a read on this reptilian asshole…

You could see Spinner’s jaw working and his eyes shifting. It was a quick shift considering how friendly he was being just a moment ago. “You probably wanna forget about the whole thing, huh? That’s fine by me.” You shrugged, feigning indifference even though your chest burned. You stepped past Spinner and into your apartment, fully prepared to make amends and shut the door (literally and metaphorically).

However you froze at Spinner’s words. “What? No.” You looked over your shoulder to see him shaking his head with a frown. “It’s a bit…” His coloring looked off. He rubbed his neck. Oh he’s blushing? That’s cute!

You swooned internally but let him finish the thought. Short of a volcano spontaneously erupting beneath your feet, nothing was going to make you shatter this tense moment. No way were you going to crack the glass first and give him an out. You’d squeeze the words out of him at any cost.

Spinner fumbled a few more times before he finally found his footing. “I like you too.”

There’s no way this is real. What the hell kind of dream is this? Maybe I really did die on the walk home. “You do?”

His gaze on the floor and head hanging low, Spinner confirmed his feelings. “Yeah, I do.” His body language was throwing you off though: closed off and stiff – sad even.

You couldn’t help but frown. “You don’t seem very happy about it.”

“Well I mean it’s… me.”

“Did my asshole of a neighbor get to you? Because I’ll happily drag him out by his ear and beat the shit out of him for you.”

Spinner chuckled but it was hollow. “No, it’s just that I know what I am. I know what I look like and how-” He jumped. “What’re you doing?”

“Your hair is so soft!” you admired as you ran your hand through it once more.

He cringed but didn’t move away. “You’re being ridiculous. What are you doing?”

This time you let your thumb brush along his cheek; he flinched. You pulled away slowly. “I like you. As in all of you. Whether you think your skin is gross and scaly or that you’re ugly or less than because you’re a mutant – none of that is what I think. So don’t debase yourself or put yourself down or think less of yourself.”

Spinner wasn’t hanging his head anymore, but he looked stiff. “Sorry I’ve, uh- no one’s ever… this is all new to me.”

You tossed your leftovers onto the nearby couch. “I’m sorry no one’s told you that before. I have to ask though: does the touching really make you uncomfortable? Because I can stop doing it if it is.”

“God no, I don’t want you to stop...” Spinner looked at you wide eyed before realizing that you weren’t going to freak out at him for his confession. “I just feel like if you touch me, you’ll realize your mistake. You’ll be grossed out by me.”

“Of course not,” you said as you grabbed one of his hands. The texture of his skin wasn’t much like scales, textured leather might be a better comparison. He was cool and remarkably smooth to the touch. “You’ve probably overheard how picky I am about clothing and food texture, right? I think there was an incident with some pasta a couple of weeks ago.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“So clearly if I didn’t like the feel of your skin you’d know really fast. And I haven’t stopped touching you yet, right?” You punctuated you point by squeezing his hand.

“You could have anyone-”

You laughed. “I’m very flattered that you think that; but I think you’ll find that have very discerning taste and a stubborn disposition. I like you. I want to have you. And that’s the end of it. Bask in it?”

His mouth hung open for a moment. “Bask in it?” He chuckled and squeezed your hand after a moment of hesitation. Spinner gave you a questioning glance, as if asking if that action was okay. “I think-”

Ring ring!

“Now that’s an old-fashioned ring tone!” You laughed and Spinner rolled his eyes.

“It’s Shigiraki,” he confirmed as he looked at the lit-up screen. “I really don’t want to answer…”

He’s probably wondering what the fuck is going on. Although I’m sure he doesn’t care much beyond the fact that Spinner and I aren’t dead. Man, he’s gonna pissed about all of this. “I thought he was amongst the excited crowd this morning?” You asked teasingly. “Wasn’t he right there beside Toga and Magne with that excited grin he gets?” Your voice was thick with sarcasm.

Spinner snorted.  He replied in a voice equally as sarcastic, “Oh yeah. That sounds like him alright.”

“Well this’ll be fun. Let me just grab a charging cord…” You dug around in your couch cushions for a moment.

 Of course, unknowingly to you, Spinner stood right behind you unable to take his eyes off of you. His head was spinning in a way that he had previously thought only alcohol could achieve; there was no way this could be real…

Taking a deep breath, he looked at his hand. It was still warm from your touch. He glanced around your apartment only to jump when you clasped his arm with a triumphant grin. Those eyes, that smile, that nose – Everything really… “Ready?”

“Yeah. Don’t text Shig yet though. I got an idea, let’s pretend I’m missing. Oh! Or dead!”

“Do you want to actually die?” Spinner asked, deadpan. “Because that’s a one-way ticket.” His face nearly burst into flames when you planted a kiss on his cheek. He grumbled abashedly while looking at the floor.

[harrysdimplles]

just a little late (you found me)

The one where fate, the master of coincidences, brings Harry right back to someone he’s been trying to forget for years now.

A/N: this is almost 2k of pure angst and regretting bad past decisions (if you make it to the end, please, give me some feedback!)

It happened at the freaking supermarket.

Honestly, her life was some sort of cosmic joke, Y/N was sure. Like, there was no other explanation.

He shouldn't be there. When they split up, the girl moved back to New York because she knew Harry wasn't really fond of the city, but she had always loved it, with the constant noise and the big crowds that made you feel pretty much invisible most of the time. After being married to one of the biggest superstars in the world, it was just what she needed.

She had just wanted to forget, as impossible as it was when it came to him. Move on from the heartbreak of losing the one man she thought was going to be by her side forever.

That was over four years ago, and of course, he would pop back up in her life when the woman finally started to feel like she was ready to let him go for good.

That was just her luck. However, it shouldn't have happened at a supermarket.

"Darling? You ok?" Erick's voice brought her back from her trip down memory lane with a start, forcing her to look away from the sea of green she had drowned in once before.

"Yeah...I just...was trying to remember if we got everything" her smile was faulty as her heart hammered against her chest, so she looked down at the toddler standing beside her new boyfriend: Teddy's lopsided smile always reminded her about the good side of that whole mess.

"Mum, look! Lick got candy" the little guy was holding on to a box of cereal that was almost as big as himself, his curls bouncing as he pointed to the tiger on it.

"Did he now?" she asked, bending down to pick him up, needing to have him close as the last years of her life came crashing down on her. Damn, why did Harry have to like doing his own thing? This whole "encounter" would never have happened if he was one of those stupid rockstars who spent his days getting seen in high profile spaces.

Or if she hadn't decided to keep things from him in the first place.

"Don't give me that look, you're running out" telling Rick who Teddy's father was had never been an option, mainly because Harry was an open wound that Y/N didn't want to poke at but at that moment, she was really fucking glad for keeping her mouth shut.

Thanks to that, the sweet guy she had been with for the past year thought nothing of the hurtful look the tall guy gave them from across the aisle as soon as their fingers laced.

It was better like that.

She knew he was going to call. Harry wasn't stupid, she could bet he knew Theodore was his as soon as he landed his eyes on the kid. But if she knew him, and she did, he wasn't about to forget it and go on with his life just because that was what she had made him do for the past years.

So, she knew he was going to call, but seeing his face pop up on the screen after so long almost gave the woman a heart attack anyway.

"I have to see ya. We need to talk" no hello. No nice tone either, not that she could blame him for that one

"I know, Harry" his name sounded foreign on her lips now, her voice shaking.

"Did you keep the apartment?"

"I did" she had been livid when he gave her the place in the divorce. It wasn't about his fucking fortune, it had never been, but she could never bring herself to sell it either. The place was full with happy memories, their memories and in the end, raising Teddy in a place that had his father in every nook felt right.

"I'm coming over tonight"

"What?" No. That was too soon. No.

"Said I'm coming over. Trust me, you don't wanna have this conversation out in public" that would be a media nightmare, and in between Connie and his publicists, Harry wouldn't make it out alive if he was seen around his ex now.

"Alright. Okay" there was no point in fighting it, really. She didn't even had the energy to do that, had to save up for when his questions came.

"I'll see you tonight" when silence took over, he still didn't hang up the phone. Just like a million times before, they just stood there, listening to the other's breathing, and as shameful as that was, she had to admit she missed that.

She missed everything about Harry, all the fucking time.

"Is he here?" had he always been this tall? She couldn't remember, not really.  As she stared at the man, Y/N crushed under the weight of her mistake. Fuck, that was Harry, after all. He deserved better. Teddy did as well.

"Theodore. His name's Theodore" walking back into the apartment, she started fumbling with her hands as he closed the door on his back. "He likes Teddy better. And no. I didn't...didn't think he should be here for this."  because she was a coward, really. Coming clear to Harry would be hard enough, the woman didn't think she was ready to see them interacting.

"You kept it" he was talking about a pillow talk ages ago, where they discussed baby names after a Christmas party, all sleepy kisses, and tangled limbs. Right before the storm came,  if her memory served her right.

"Does Connie know what you're doing tonight?" even talking about the girl made her mad, still. She was pathetic, really, but anger was good. Anger she could deal with. Had learned how as time passed.

"You're unbelievable." he let out a low chuckle as his eyes focused on her again "You don't get to bring her into this, not tonight. You got us here, Y/N. You alone" his hair was shorter now, a long way, but he still pulled on it like crazy whenever he was stressed, judging by the messy locks going everywhere.

"You weren't supposed to know"

"Do you...fuck, are you trying to make it worse on purpose or what? What do you mean I was not supposed to know? I have a kid, Y/N. We have a kid and you thought it was alright not to tell me?" his voice was raising a bit, so the man took a moment to breathe before continuing "He's mine, right? Ours?"

She didn't think. She just acted, the sting of the question burning on her chest much like the handprint she left on his face when she slapped it.

"Of course he's yours. I was not the one who fucked up our marriage" she knew what she was implying, knew he would never have done something like that, but he deserved that one for asking.

"Sorry. Sorry, lo...Sorry. Why, Y/N? Why keep it from me?"

"I don't know, Harry." it wasn't what he wanted to hear, wasn't even a good excuse for her decision, but then there wasn't one, no matter what she said next "Our lives were a mess, and by the time we figured it all out I just...I didn't know how to talk to you anymore. Especially about something like that."

"That's fucked up"

"You're right, but when I found out about him, the divorce was finalized and I just couldn't pick up the phone and tell you how scared I was. Believe me, back in the day, it was all I wanted to do: call you and let you tell me everything was going to be ok, that I could do that"

"You should have. I should have been there for you. The both of you"

"You left, Harry. It was what you needed to do, and I don't blame you, but you were gone and I owed it to myself to find out what my life was going to be like without you in it"

"I'm sorry" when he looked back at her, the woman realized something: he looked tired, drawn out just like she did.

"It's ok. We both know I'm not cut out for your life." But Connie was. The perfect, sweet girl that knew him before he was famous and that was always better at dealing with the attention and the sacrifices he had to make to live his dream, unlike her.

"Does he know about me?" it was good that he didn't dwell on their past. The fact that Teddy seemed to be all he was interested in that night, despite all the questions he must have had for her reminded the small woman why she had loved him so fiercely, why part of her probably always would.

"Not really, no. He's too young to really ask, I think."

"You think he's gonna like me?" his voice wavered with the question, his eyes focused on an old picture from Teddy's first week at home, a smile on his lips.

"He's gonna love you, H." getting up, the woman walked around until she was by his side, crossing her arms around her chest for protection before asking: "You plan on telling Connie about it?" she hated to even think about the other girl around her baby, but she had stolen enough time from his dad as it was, so she was going to learn to live with it when his girlfriend entered the mix.

"We're not together anymore"

"Oh. I...this is... I'm sorry. It must be hard" that actually made him laugh, turning around to face her.

"No, yer not"

"Fine! I'm not. Never understood the appeal on that one" time to shut up. She should not be discussing his exes with Harry. She should not be talking about anything that wasn't their son.

"I could try and explain, but I'd rather think about what our next step is. You know how we're gonna explain all of this to the little man? Cuz I'm not going away. I want to get to know him. Want him to count on me."

She had no idea whatsoever. But now that the three of them had found each other once more, she knew they would have to find a way.

It would happen, eventually. With her and Harry, it always did.

[winchester-with-wings]

Late Night Chivalry

Peter Parker x Reader

🕷🕸 Anon Commissioned on May 15th :  A fluff Peter ParkerxReader 1.5k words. Sumthin like Peter and you been really good friends (you know his secret) and he ends up savin you from gettin mugged as you’re walkin home from hangin out with him earlier that night and he comforts you cuz of how scared you were and just him bein the little sweetie pie he normally is. Take as much liberty as you want, I just want sweet and savory feelins after intense action. I’ll donate on kofi, knows it’s me from the signature -🕷🕸

Word Count: 2400ish. Anon paid for only 1.5k but the story wanted to be longer :) That’s on me and I’m happy with the result :)

Trigger Warning: harassment, potential assault, mugging, language

Mobile Masterlist / Ko-Fi (anything helps to pay the bills <3)

Wanna commission a fic like this? Click here!

Between binge-watching Netflix and a few video game sessions, you and Peter still managed to work on a school project. Just like any other Saturday night for you nerds.

It’s past midnight when your eyes finally feel heavy with exhaustion. Peter catches you dozing once or twice, your legs tangled in his blankets on the bottom bunk of his bunk bed.

“I should go,” you say, rolling off the bed and nearly falling to the floor. Peter chuckles and groans. He hangs from the top bunk, his feet hooked on the rails so that he can dangle upside down while he watches you collect your things, stuffing textbooks and papers into your bag with no regard.

“You sure you don’t want to stay here tonight? I’ll give you the top bunk” he offers.

“As nice as that sounds, Pete, I gotta get home. Mom and I are making pancakes tomorrow morning. You know how important that is to her…”

“Yeah,” Peter shrugs with a frown well aware of your current home situation. He cared for you mom as much as his own Aunt May. You had grown up living in the same building as Peter ever since he came to live with his Aunt May. After your parents’ divorce, you and your mom had had to move; both he and May had felt the loss of their friends and neighbors.

“Still...I wish you didn’t have to go.” Peter starts climbing along the wall and up to the ceiling. He does it so casually around you now that you’d known his secret for a year or so now. He starts dangling from the ceiling. His apparent desire to stall your retreat has you taking a seat and munching on some cheetos. “Hey, remember when your mom and May would let us have sleepovers?”

“Yeah, and remember how they stopped letting us do that when we were each other’s first kiss. You really think they’ll let us have a sleepover as teenagers? What with having gone through puberty?” you roll your eyes. Your mention of your shared first kiss carried no awkwardness with it.

“Yeah. Puberty was pretty rough on you too, huh?” Peter teases and you throw a cheeto at him. He catches it in his mouth and chews. You can’t imagine how he manages to chew and swallow while upside down. “I’m kidding. You know what I think of you.” Your blush is faint and barely noticeable. Having grown up together, the two of you had entertained the notion of dating once or twice. The timing was never really right and luckily it hadn’t affected your friendship. “I just worry about you. That’s why I don’t want you to go. I don’t like that you live so far away now.”

“I know, but that’s how it is now, Petey. Mom couldn’t keep the apartment when Dad left. We had to move away.” You roll up the bag of cheetos and set it aside. Shirking on your backpack, you look like you’re ready to leave. You tug on Peter’s shirt to make him drop from the ceiling; you didn’t tug hard...like it’s not like you yanked him from the ceiling...it was more like a tug on a rope to signal your descent...he knew what you meant.

“Then maybe we shouldn’t be doing these late nights anymore,” he suggested, straightening out his clothes and hair.

“If you don’t want me hanging around anymore, Peter, just say so,” you tease, always only half joking.

“No! That’s not it at all! I just don’t like the idea of you walking home alone.”

“Don’t worry. I have pepper spray. Dad gave it to me...before I went on my first date.” You tap Peter on the nose. He sighs.

“Oh, I thought you were going to say that’s what he gave you before he left.”

“Well that’s just sad and mean. No, he got me a new cell phone that day.”

“Ouch.” Peter slings his arms around your shoulders. Talking to him about your dad, someone who’d decided to leave with little regard for yourself or your mother, wasn’t such a heavy burden with Peter. You could tell him anything and he’d understand the serious undertone at the same time as he’d try to make things better. That’s one of the things you loved about him. “Just promise me, you’ll be safe and use that new cell phone to call me when you get home?”

“Of course! The new place is just three blocks away from the train station.”

Peter slips his feet into a pair of sneakers. “Okay...just let me walk you out, at least.”

Peter probably went out on a nightly patrol as Spider-man when you left. You didn’t think much of it. You didn’t worry for him as much as he’d seemed worried for you. But why should he worry? You’d grown up in this city--granted you’re in a new neighborhood but hey! Spider-man had made it a safer neighborhood, right?

The train ride was short and uneventful. You weren’t the only one there. Maybe a few older teens, a nurse on her way home, an old lady with a paper grocery bag (at this time of night? Sure why not?). You kept to yourself--obviously--and thought nothing of your short commute home until you were off the train.

You assume the four men at the stop are waiting to board the train you’ve just exited. You give it no passing thought. But when you start heading down the street, away from the platform, the muffled sound of their voices alerts you to the fact that they never did board the train. You hope they’re heading somewhere else but what are the chances?

“Hey, baby!” one of them calls out. You ignore them, pretend you have headphones in and you can’t hear them.

“Hey sweet thing! Hold up!” another one of them shouts. You can’t pretend you didn’t hear that. They say so themselves. You bring your backpack in front of you, opening the pockets to search for your house keys. The pepper spray is a keychain. Why didn’t you walk home with this already in hand? Because you were delusional to think you’d be safe after midnight in Queens? As your fingers curl around the key ring, you hear the heavy footsteps rushing towards you.

“Hey babe, why not answering us? You got somewhere better to be?”

They start to circle you, even as you press forward.

“Leave me alone,” you protest in an even voice, despite the fear and adrenaline rushing through you.

“Nah, you can’t just walk away. You just got off the train right? You gotta pay the toll.”

“What are you? Freaking trolls that live under a bridge? Leave me alone!” You stand up for yourself, shoving past one of the men and brandishing your pepper spray. They curse at you, lunge for you and grab at your backpack. You hold onto it out of instinct. The only thing worth anything in there is just your wallet. Why are you fighting for it? Defiance in the face of weakness, that’s why.

They get too close to you, overpowering you, one of them holding you back while the other two wrassle away your backpack. You yank your arm free just for a moment and aim your pepper spray at the closest man.

“Ah!! SHIT!” he yells, letting go of your bag. His friends are startled enough to loosen their hold on you and your belongings. You grab them and run. Just one more block! You tell yourself and your pounding heart.

“Get back here bitch!” one of them shouts. A quick glance over your shoulder and you think you see the glint of light bouncing off a blade.

“Hey! That’s no way to talk to a lady!” someone else shouts.

You’re stomach sinks--both with relief and fear.

Someone’s coming to help you.

But you know that voice.

You hide behind a bus shelter and finally turn around to look for your assailants. Right away, the whimpering man whose face is red and streaked with tears...he’s taken care of. His hands are still covering his face as he tries to relieve the pain. Instead, Spider-man’s webbing covers his face and hands, effectively gluing them together.

Spider-man swings in and rams into the same guy, knocking him off balance and into a wall. The other two, they turn to face the brave teenaged Avenger.

“You’re far from your turf, bugboy!” one of them growls as he lunges for Spider-man. He jumps out of the way and onto the side of a building. He shoots twice from wrists. The man is knocked off balance by his near miss and Spider-man is able to stick one foot and one hand to the ground.

“This is my neighborhood too. I can’t have you going around and mugging people!” Spider-man...Peter...jumps off the side of the building and lands a few feet from the third assailant. He stands up at his full height with his shoulders tall and chest out. “And I definitely can’t have you attacking my friends.”

Contrary to his usual style, Peter runs at the man straight on.

“No! He’s got a knife!” you shout. It doesn’t seem to register or matter to him. Peter is stronger than he looks. He tries to punch the guy but he blocks it and tries to restrain him with his webbing. But the mugger uses his knife in his other hand to cut the webbing and break free.

“Spider-freak!” The man shouts as he swipes at Peter. Peter jumps back, seemingly avoiding the blade. But you see his hand rush to his abdomen. He’s hurt! And he’s distracted enough that the mugger lands a few punches to lay Peter out on the floor. “Spider-man? You’re just a loser kid. Now get out of here!”

“No,” Peter groans, struggling to get up. The mugger sets his sights on you. You’re frozen, unsure of whether to run to Peter or to run for safety.

“Peter,” you whisper, too quiet for anyone else to hear.

“Karen! Taser web! High voltage!” Peter shouts and his suit responds. Peter extends his left arm and his webshooters let loose. The taser web fires in two strands and hits your would-be attacker in the back. The man loses his voice as he tries to cry out at the pain of voltage surging through him. He convulses and drops to the ground. Another release of his normal webbing and the mugger’s is stuck to the pavement.

Peter collapses too.

You’re supporting Spider-man’s weight as you take him home with you. He’s keeping his hand on his side and you’re concerned at even the slightest sight of blood.

“Peter, you idiot. Why did you do that?” you hiss, tears are running down your cheeks despite your best effort to keep calm.

“Idiot? Didn’t I save you?”

“Yeah, but...now you’re hurt! How did you even know?”

Despite his condition, the two of you are quiet as you enter your apartment building and head for your front door. Your mom is working a night shift. She’ll be home soon, just in time for breakfast.

“Um...I was following you...obviously. Like I said, I was worried about you,” Peter admits as you bring him inside and towards your bedroom.

You urge him to sit on your bed. You try to make him lie down so you can look at his wound.

“Stop fussing, Nurse Y/N. I’m fine. I’ll heal.” He even says this just as he uses some of his webbing as a bandage. You jab at his shoulder.

“Of course I won’t stop fussing! You scared me half to death! I was so worried about you getting hurt, Pete!” Your body is tensing up, the adrenaline in your veins dying off and bringing you back to the verge of exhaustion. Your knees feel like they’re about to give up but you feel like you can only muster enough strength to scold your friend for risking his life.

Peter pulls off his mask and taps his chest to loosen his suit; it pools around his waist where he’s sitting. You can see the bruises beginning to form on his cheek and stomach, and again the large gash in his side from the knife currently bandaged with spiderwebs.

He tugs on your hand and makes you sit on your bed beside him.

“Are you alright? Are you sure?” he asks you. You nod but it only takes another second before you start hyperventilating and shaking. “Oh geez,” he sighs and wraps his arms around you. “Don’t worry. I’m here for you.”

“The way they came after me...and then…” you gasp, “then you showed up and I was so scared for you. Peter...I know you’re Spider-man. I know you can take care of yourself but I don’t see you that way, Pete! You’re my friend and all I could see was my friend putting himself in danger for me. I was…” you tremble…”I was...scared,” you admit. Curling into his bare chest and he holds onto you even tighter. He hums and shushes you.

“It’s okay. I’m here for you. I’ll always protect you. I’ll always follow you like a creep, I promise,” his comment elicits a small chuckle from you both. He tries to lay you down but you cling to him. Eventually, you release him, allowing him to strip out of his spider-suit and into a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt he’s likely left behind in the past.

“Please don’t leave me,” you whimper as he climbs back onto the bed with you and opens his arms again. “Don’t leave me. Don’t be like him.” Peter’s chest fills with a sharp intake of breath. He’s solid and stable, enveloping you in his warmth and comfort.

“Never. I’ll never leave you. I’ll always be there. As your friendly neighborhood Spider-man and as your best friend.” Peter kisses the top of your head. “I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you.”

A moment of silence passes as you relax and your tears of shock dry on your cheeks.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Peter’s arms encircle you even more, cuddling you.

“Of course.”

Your mother comes home tired and ready to crawl into bed, but not before she has pancakes with you.

She peeks into your room and sees Peter sleeping next to you. She doesn’t say anything.

She naps on the couch until you wake up on your own and when only you come out of your room she asks, “Will Peter be joining us?”

She doesn’t say much more, doesn’t question his presence at the dining table as he stuffs his mouth with chocolate chip pancakes. She knows he’ll always be here for you. That’s all she could’ve ever hoped for.

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Tags: @faithtrustandpixiedust95  @thinkwritexpress-official @talesoftheimpala  @autoblocked  @book-loving--anime-chick  @overlyobsethed  @bookworm4ever99  @whoopxd  @geeksareunique @therealcap  @potterwolf16  @frankie2902  @officialcaptain-marvel

[callistawolf]

my thoughts on Arrow 6x22

Hoo... that was a good one, wasn’t it? I mean... the sheer volume of OLICITY in that episode, plus we had Dyla being such a solid couple and even LYLA AND FELICITY scenes... I want to roll around in it and pretend this was the sum total of season 6 right here. 😂

Ugh I forgot about the stupid Quadrant. SMEH.

EGGS. COOKING TOGETHER. I LOVE THAT. Look how domestic this is.

CHEZ QUEEN. Did Oliver JUST call their apartment CHEZ QUEEN? I’m gonna die.  

“Salt me please, Felicity” lol

Aww she’s still worried. And I love when he reassures her. THIS IS SO CUTE.

Kiss kiss kiss I love that. OMG grab her boi.

I love breakfast for dinner. Just fyi.

OLIVER DOES WHAT WIFEY SAYS ALWAYS. YAY FOR WARNING THO. My boy Anatoly.

Felicity protecting William and getting him safe while Oliver beats up thugs is my aesthetic.

Oh man he’s so scared about his family possibly getting hurt MY HEART.

Did no one warn Rene? LOL

Or Dinah.

LYLA AND DIG ARE BAMFS.

“Diaz isn’t going to attack the mayor” OH FELICITY. You aren’t this naive are you, bb?

She is NOT gonna let him sideline her again. YOU GO GIRL.

Your bunker has NEVER been secure, lbr.

Aww but they have to watch Diaz’s dudes trash the bunker. SO SAD.

Whatevs, Felicity fixed up the foundry and improved it in the hiatus between 1 & 2 so I feel certain she could do the same thing here. 

Don’t hate me but I like the teams working together again. I know they’re not officially back together or anything but joining forces makes the most sense right now.

Look at my boy looking and sounding like a leader. I’m so proud. *Sniff*

Am I supposed to feel bad that Curtis got stabbed?

Cuz I don’t.

I KNEW DIAZ DIDNT TRUST ANATOLY. Okay so it wasn’t a trap but he is onto my boy here. STAY SAFE.

OH Nice play there Anatoly. Shift suspicion onto Quadrant lady. Casamento. Vento? Mento? I STILL DONT KNOW.

SNIFFERIFIC. She’s so damn cute.

HE CALLED HER A PARENT. I’M EMOSH.

He’s so worried. I love him.

I LOVE THESE TWO TEAMING UP. YES MORE LYLA AND FELICITY TEAM UPS PLEASE.

Marital advice lololol oh god I love this so much.

Yeah Felicity doesn’t wanna get divorced tho. So…. Scratch that.

RUN LYLA. OH HELL.

Felicity wyd baby. Oliver is gonna be so mad at you.

HE MAD. OH GURL. Time to bat your eyelashes.

TELL HIM GIRLFRIEND. YAS. “There is no alone for us anymore.”

DINAH LEARNED. That’s promising.

DUDE. KILLED QUADRANT LADY. WTF.

Felicity and Dig talking about Oliver and then Dig talking to Oliver about Felicity…. FEELS LIKE OLD TIMES.

No more going into the field okay honey lets see how well that works for you. Felicity should take that news SUPER WELL. GOOD FUCKING LORD, Oliver.

I love when Diggle yoda’s Oliver. Its when I know all is right with the world.

She is stressing Oliver the frick out with needing to stay behind.

Lyla and Dig are such a great example of a couple that fights well together.

William needs US.

MY HEART.

I LOVE WHEN HE PICKS HER UP

I love when my babies do stunts together!!

So there goes that lair/bunker/hideout. THEY HAVE NO MORE PLACES.

Yeah no chance Diaz is dead. Its not the finale.

UGH so it was for nothing.

FAMILY PHONE CALL. MY HEART.

I love a heart to heart. He needs to trust her and him and them. BLESS. My boy leveled up.

Kissing his shoulder. That’s her thing.

Oh god he has an idea. His ideas are always awful. I feel like Felicity told him this after the scene cut. Let me have my dream. 

Its not a Quadrant if there’s only two people, amirite?

Honestly, going to Samanda and the FBI for help makes the most sense right now. I know I bagged his ideas, but... this one is not bad. 

“I am the Green Arrow” DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE.

What’s the second thing tho.

It’s prison isn’t it? The second thing is prison. 😭

So this was so good. I don’t think there’s much about the finale we don’t already know but I’m always ready for the show to shock the heck out of me. I expect Quentin to die because of Diaz. I expect Siren to get very upset about that and to fight Diaz. I expect Diaz to be taken down. I expect Oliver to get taken into custody. These are the facts. 

I haven’t said much about it the last couple of weeks but I’ve been moving further and further from the “Felicity is pregnant” spec. I left a door open before last night’s ep... I thought if there were some good clues and/or sexy times, then MAYBE. But there wasn’t, not by my estimation at least. I just don’t think it’s gonna happen. But it WILL happen eventually. Just might not be a thing till next season or whatever. I can be patient. I just don’t think it’s gonna happen in the finale. 

Which is a bummer cuz I feel like the timing with Oliver going to prison is PERFECT. That is fantastic angst. And I’m not even worried that he’d not be out/free/whatever before the baby would be born cuz obviously he would be. There’s plenty of time. BUT. Oh well. Someone will just have to fic it for us this summer. Cuz its too beautiful to just let go. 

[yetanothersterekblog]

Okay so I wrote this little ficlet based on this video which is utterly adorable and everyone should look at it because it is just too cute okay. I’d also like to thank @captainpettie who was the one that gave me that extra little push to write this and gave me some very needed encouragement, plus I added a woofer on here cuz how could I not?

Being a parent is not easy.

Being a parent of triplets is hell on earth.

Stiles and Derek love their kids but raising three 1 year olds is by far their hardest mission and they’ve dealt with actual monsters! That kill people!

Throw in the fact that two of those 1 year olds are werewolves and it makes parenthood mission impossible.

Stiles has no idea why but when one triplet starts to cry, they all start to cry because the other one is crying. Which makes solving the actual problem a thousand times more difficult than it needs to be.

It especially sucks when it happens after Stiles and Derek spend a mini eternity trying to put them all to bed.

“Oh my god Ella stop squirming! I’m just trying to put you on the changing table.” Stiles said as he tried to control the two werewolf pups in his arms.

“Derek, little help here?”

“I’m a little busy putting Conner into his PJs Stiles.” Derek said from the other side of the nursery.

“Well I’m a little busy trying to keep my two werewolf children from falling out of my arms! You’re the alpha here how come you’re not the one wrangling in the pups?”

Stiles can practically hear the eye roll Derek is undoubtingly giving him. “Because I got them ready for bed yesterday, it’s your turn now Stiles.”

Stiles grumbles but manages to put both Luke and Ella on the changing table.

Getting Luke into his light green onesie with tiny ducks all over it was fairly simple, he’s by far the calmest out of the bunch.

When Stiles sets Luke in his crib and turns around to get started on changing Ella into her PJs he finds that the little girl isn’t sitting on the changing table anymore.

“Shit.”

“Language.” Derek said offhandedly.

“Language yourself Derek I lost Ella!”

“She’s still somewhere in the house Stiles calm down.”

Stiles glared. “I know that! But I just gave her a bath and you know how she loves to get herself dirty. If she sneaks into the cupboards to eat peanut butter again I think I’ll cry.”

“Then find her before she can get herself dirty.” Derek shrugs.

Stiles gawks. How could Derek do this to him? He has supernatural tracking abilities and he’s making Stiles, his poor human husband, find their werewolf daughter all on his own.

If Stiles wasn’t stupidly in love with Derek and his stupidly perfect face he’d be in the process of getting a divorce. This is abuse.

When Stiles finds Ella in the kitchen a moment later he is relieved that find that Nia found her before the 1 year old got to the peanut butter.

The golden retriever was standing right in front of the pantry daring the pup to make a move. Whenever Ella would try to get around the pooch Nia would gently place her paw on Ella’s chest, stopping her from getting any closer.

Stiles quickly scooped Ella into his arms before she could do anything to annoy Nia too much and rewardingly scratched Nia’s head. That dog deserves a fucking metal for putting up with the 3 terrors Stiles and Derek call their children and making sure they don’t break their heads.

“Good girl Nia,” Stiles praised, “you’re getting extra belly rubs and ear scratches before bed tonight.”

Nia relished the soft touch before making her way back up the stairs into the nursery, tail wagging happily as she went.

Stiles turned to look at his daughter in his arms. “You’re lucky Nia was able to stop you before you found the peanut butter. I was not going to give you another bath missy.”

Ella only giggled and prodded his face with her chubby fingers, squealing joyfully when he pretended to bite her hands.

Stiles couldn’t stop the fond smile tugging at his lips. “You just had to be cute, didn’t you?”

Once Stiles finished putting Ella in her PJs for the night, he gently placed her inside the crib and took out his phone to start recording.

No matter how many times they did this, Stiles always found it impossible to not film it. Plus Erica would kill him if she goes to sleep without her nightly dose of Stilinski-Hale pup cuteness.

Derek looks at him and glares, already knowing what his husband is planning.

Stiles simply smirks before shouting, “WOLF PACK!”

In an instant all the other members in the room start howling, even Nia.

Derek’s loud and powerful howl sounds particularly out of place with Conner, Ella, and Luke’s tiny arrooos.

Stiles snickers as he ends stops the video and sends it to the pack’s group chat.

He’s making his way to the kitchen to grab the already made bottles when Derek’s grumpy face comes into view.

“You can’t keep doing that you know.”

“Doing what?” Stiles asks innocently as he grabs a bottle and hands the other two to Derek.

“Treating the howling exercise as a cute trick. This is to teach them to howl when they’re in trouble, not to send cute videos of our kids to the pack. It’s vital that they understand howling is a way to call for us and the pack when they need us.”

Stiles rolls his eyes as he sees the pout on Derek’s face. He doesn’t care what the hell Derek has to say about it, that right there, is a pout.

“Relax sourwolf,” Stiles says, “they’ll know, it’s natural for wolves to howl when they’re in danger. Conner might not because he’s human and it isn’t an instinct for him but they’ll be fine Derek.”

Derek still doesn’t seem convinced so Stiles gives him a chaste kiss on the lips before smiling softly at him. “You’re teaching them well.”

“You think so?”

Derek’s voice was playful, his face teasing with the semblance of a smirk on his lips, but his eyes were vulnerable and insecure.

Stiles cups his cheeks with the hand that isn’t holding the baby bottle. “Yeah, I really do.”

Derek kisses him them, soft and slow but deep and full of passion. They both melt into it, savoring the taste of each other’s lips.

It isn’t until they hear faint whimpering howls coming from the nursery that they pull back. 

“Looks like we have some fast learners on our hands.” Stiles smirks.

Derek rolls his eyes but can’t seem to keep the obvious pride he feels from showing on his face.

Being a parent of triplets may qualify as a form of weird and unusual punishment.

But Stiles wouldn’t give this up for the world.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Happy New Year, shortcake! Ali: You still alive? Carly: Same to you, baby Carly: Have fun? Carly: im hanging on you kno Carly: got my guitar out & everything Ali: I don't even know how to put it into words Ali: Magical Ali: awh, you using your death rattle as percussion Ali: about that Carly: yea? Carly: i wish id been there Carly: i miss you Carly: & your magic Ali: baby 😔 you poor thing Ali: of all the times to get mono Ali: i'll bring you chicken soup when i've recovered enough to go in the kitchen without retching Carly: that good of a night tho Carly: love it Carly: i dont want you to get sick baby Ali: plague parcel Ali: keep your bodily fluids where I can see 'em 😉 Ali: it really was Ali: Cavante was there Carly: w his bf or latest gf? Ali: Neither! 😍 Ali: Well, Drew might've been about but busiest night of the year for him like so couldn't be up in our business Carly: didnt text me the prick Carly: i kno im sick but im still hot Carly: how much business did you get up to w your boy tho? Carly: you his now or Ali: how rude, coulda offered to medicate you Ali: make a killing, think on lad Ali: I dunno, I don't know what it was Ali: but I'll be sad and surprised if it was just last night, like Carly: & he kno he benefits whenever im this bored Carly: your loss lad Carly: baby dont be sad Carly: hes wanted you for ages theres no stopping him now Ali: He's a fool, straight up Ali: [Sends their tattoo pic] Ali: Gotta be some sort of promises, right? Carly: wtf Carly: thats a claim Carly: divorce is on the cards for us cos hes trying to marry you himself Ali: Never Ali: wifey 4 life Ali: not just 'cos we can't afford the fees Carly: but wheres my tat bitch? Carly: I been putting in the work Carly: hes done 1 night shift Ali: you want one? Ali: only gotta ask boo Carly: make him beg did you Carly: nah Carly: too little too late girl Ali: aw, don't be like that Ali: I didn't know you wanted to get inked Carly: im no type of way idk Carly: write him on you if you want its no big Ali: Yeah but its clearly more of a deal than I thought it'd be Ali: talk to me, I wanna know what you really think Carly: do you have my black shoes Carly: i gotta find them Ali: Carls Carly: what Carly: thats what im thinking Carly: im bored of being here Carly: i need to go out Ali: are you well enough, you were at death's door like, yesterday Carly: idc Carly: this is no fun Ali: no but neither will be collapsing as soon as you have one drink, like Carly: i wont ask you to pick me back up its alright Ali: Don't Ali: Lemme come over, we can have fun there Ali: you don't need to do this Carly: i need to get out of this fucking caravan Carly: so nah Ali: okay Ali: fresh air isn't the worst idea Ali: where you gonna go Carly: idk idc Carly: someone will be about Carly: in their garden throwing up or pissing out last night if nothing else Ali: Can I come? Carly: why Ali: well, 'cos I wanna see you Ali: also make sure you don't die in a ditch, like Carly: i kno my way around Carly: how far you think im gonna get like Ali: I know Ali: for my own sake then? lemme be selfish Carly: he not let you do what you wanted then? Carly: aw Carly: didnt think cavante would be like that Ali: I don't think you wanna know really Carly: i do kno Carly: magical yea Ali: You're mad? Carly: nah Ali: We're good? Carly: i said i wasn't mad not that idc Ali: What can I do to make it up to you? Ali: I didn't go out with that intention but I also didn't know that it would do this Carly: who goes out w intentions Carly: did you kno he was gonna be there? Ali: Nah Ali: I didn't know where I'd end up, even Carly: k Carly: least you hooked w someone who would treat you nice Ali: You know I like him Ali: but that doesn't negate how I feel about you Carly: k but you like him so much if he wanted to be w you id be gone Carly: loyal vibes we kno Ali: I don't know, that's the truth Ali: not gone, ever Ali: but it might be different, yeah Carly: youd friendzone me i kno Carly: ive done it Ali: is that such a bad thing Carly: theres no need for me to answer that Carly: the fact you asked it shows what you think Ali: i'm just saying, friendship is underrated Ali: and i'm not thinking or saying anything for definite Ali: idk, my head is fucked Carly: you arent until he does Carly: done that too like Ali: that ain't it Carly: im not stupid ali Ali: i know you ain't Ali: but we've already talked so i'm not waiting on no one but you Carly: cuz he said no Carly: is that how it is Ali: no Ali: he said to hit him up when i know what i'm doing Ali: do you actually think i would do that Ali: i'm just trying to work out what we're doing Carly: idk Carly: i just kno how much you like him Ali: yeah Ali: but i like you too Carly: & i like you too Carly: but he doesnt want me babe Ali: No Ali: jesus Carly: unfuck your head Carly: use the stash or anything else you need Ali: i know Ali: i know i need to Ali: i'm sorry, yeah? Ali: i'm gonna sort this Carly: dont be sorry Carly: or sad Ali: how can i not be Ali: i don't want to hurt you, ever Carly: its done babe Carly: forget it Ali: nah Ali: its fucked up Ali: i am Carly: nah youre not Carly: only if you didnt care Carly: but you do Carly: & youve been so good to me Carly: you are being now Ali: i'm not going to stop Ali: if you still want me to Ali: i love you no matter what, okay? Carly: i kno Carly: i love you too Ali: i'm gonna sort this, i swear Ali: can i drop off some chicken soup and stuff at least Ali: i won't come in if you don't want Carly: i want you to Carly: but i meant what i said i dont want you to get sick Ali: i'll be careful Ali: i wanna take care of you Carly: but i dont wanna be careful me or you Carly: i want you to kno how much i love you Carly: i dont like that he gets to be w you that way & i dont Ali: I know baby Ali: for the record, I don't care if I get sick but Ali: I don't want you to feel like you've got something to prove Carly: but i do Carly: you like us both Carly: i want you to want me more than him Ali: Babe, its not that simple Ali: Wish it was, like Carly: what can i do then Carly: tell me how to make it simple Ali: If I find out Ali: I'll let you know Ali: its me though Ali: no self-pity bullshit or cliche about it Ali: just facts Carly: do you love him Ali: I mean Ali: too soon to say, yeah? Carly: yeah or nah Carly: i kno you kno Ali: yeah Carly: k Ali: but i love you too Carly: i get bi means two Carly: but i dont think it works like that Ali: I know Carly: yea dont come over if itll fuck your head up more Ali: idc Ali: only if it'll fuck up yours Carly: i do Carly: i care about you Ali: you're gonna make me cry Carly: sorry Carly: we should get out of our heads Carly: not gonna unfuck them like Carly: but will help Ali: 'til we have to deal with it in the morning Ali: january 1st, yeah, good a day as any to attempt to sort our shit Carly: yea Ali: That said Ali: wish you were better so we could get outta here Carly: me too Carly: where do you wanna go? Carly: i can make it im strong Ali: let me spirit you away for some sea air Ali: that's how they kicked it if you were dying back in the day Carly: we could get your ex to drive us Carly: 3s a party Carly: dont mind making her sick since she aint about me Ali: 🙄 sure, lets rent a mini-bus and make it a reunion of all the former flames Ali: I've got money for the actual Ali: wanna go down Malahide? Carly: serious? Ali: why not Ali: i don't reckon you'll actually drop down, like Ali: and gotta keep making good on my promise to take you away from here Ali: even if its only half an hour down the road Carly: lets go Carly: ill leave my ma a note not that shes bothered where i go any other time Ali: buy her a stick of rock Ali: if she's really arsey she knows where to stick it Carly: ha Carly: idc what she thinks Carly: ill be sick wherever i am Ali: May as well have a view that ain't the inside of your room Carly: & have fun w my baby while i still can Ali: no while about it Ali: we're always gonna have fun Carly: but hes gonna move into my time & fun Ali: hmm Ali: maybe a smidge, not going to make promises I can't keep Ali: but not all of it, THAT I promise Ali: I'm always going to have time for you, Carls Carly: promise Ali: fucking promise Ali: you're still my girl Carly: & youre mine Ali: hell yeah Ali: on some forever shit you and me Carly: new year but same us Ali: you know it Ali: ain't a resolution to lose you, nah Carly: you gonna ink me then Ali: can Ali: if you want to Ali: ideas? Carly: idc Carly: do what you want Carly: i trust you Ali: okay Ali: challenge accepted Carly: i kno youre up to it

[uncloseted]

1. I don't have a degree in psychology, but I have written a 4000 word essay about sociopathy a while back in high school (for the IB), and I used legitimate studies as much as possible from NCBI. And I know that making assumptions about someone's mental health is wrong, but I did once meet one who does meet the symptoms quiet closely. With that being said, "let's just jump into it!"

Anonymous said to effys-closet: 2. First of all, I did feel like Kati's handling of sociopathy was unprofessional. And more so her response to the backlash. She has had credentials, maybe she did cover ASPD briefly but she wasn't qualified in Abnormal Psychology to comment on it. I mean, neither am I, but let's move on. I know that sociopathy isn't a term used for diagnosis, people are diagnosed with ASPD, but I have seen a thing called Hare's Psychopathy Checklist, which does determine whether someone is a psychopath or not. Anonymous said to effys-closet: 3. Most people use the terms psychopath and sociopath interchangeably. Others however think that there is a difference, psychopaths are the ones who are cooler, calmer and more meticulous in their planning, whereas sociopaths can get angry easily and act more impulsively. There is also a thing going around that psychopaths are "born" whereas sociopaths are "made". My essay was based around how much of it is genetic and environmental, and like most things in psychology, it is both. Anonymous said to effys-closet: 4. That being said, it is absolutely possible for cases to be more genetic based or more environmental based, and that is what people would like to differentiate between psychopath and sociopath. Psychopathy and sociopathy fall under the umbrella of ASPD, and until now I used to feel like they were virtually the same thing, but there are people saying that it is still possible for ASPD people to have emotions and empathy and can be cured, idk about that, I personally doubt the cure claim. Anonymous said to effys-closet: 5. The reason being, that people with ASPD have huge underdevelopments in their brains, caused genetically and/or cuz of shitty childhood, and that leaves them with huge deficits in grey matter. I think at reaching adulthood these gaps can't be regrown or filled, cuz there are certain brain developments that only happen in childhood. Compare it with the effects of depression where that does affect the brain but once you're cured of depression you can still reverse those effects. Anonymous said to effys-closet: 6. I think in the case of the Paul brothers, the main person is Greg Paul. You didn't watch the rest of the series, but basically at one point Shane drops the sociopath label and works with Jake to talk about his problems, meaning the thing with Alissa, the Martinez Twins, and all of the complaints people have had against him. He also talks to the people that have beef with him. In the end it's concluded by most people watching that he isn't a sociopath, but more emotionally stunted, cuz of Greg Anonymous said to effys-closet: 7. Jake and Logan's parents were divorced early on, and they had to live with their mom and dad interchangeably from time to time. Their dad had them play football, turn tires and basically attempt to make them "tough" men. From the very beginning they were taught that you shouldn't show your emotions cuz that makes you weak. Even today Greg is pretty controlling of Jake's whole team 10 thing. Jake hasn't been taught how to deal with emotions from the very beginning. He has never known what is Anonymous said to effys-closet: 8. right and wrong, he has always made offensive jokes around his friends and has never known the line. This is why the Martinez Twins felt bullied while he didn't even realise it. His relationship with Erika is currently nice, she seems to be a stabilising force in his life, and is a good influence for him. With her he can be vulnerable, and he trusts her. The reason why it was so hard for him is cuz his trust has been broken time and time again. In Shane's series it seems he wants to change. Anonymous said to effys-closet: 9. I recommend you finish the series cuz it gets better from the one episode with Kati. Now, in the case with Logan, it seems different. I read a book called Confessions of a Sociopath, written by an actual sociopath using a pseudonym. She has several siblings, one of who was a "weak" brother according to her. She had abusive parents, and he was emotionally scarred by it whereas she was indifferent, she never cried during her lashes, occasionally her and her siblings beat the weak brother. Anonymous said to effys-closet: 10. My point is that it is possible for people to have the same parenting (or lack there of) and turn out completely different. One ends up a sociopath the other doesn't. This is probably where the genetics thing comes to play, cuz one sibling has more of a tendency to become a sociopath than the other genetically. When Alissa talked to Shane about how she once slept with Logan, she recalls how he was completely indifferent to betraying his brother, in fact he was proud of it, saying... Anonymous said to effys-closet: 11. "I'm a maverick, I'm savage". He didn't give a damn about breaking his brother's trust. When Alissa came on a song with him and said she didn't want it to be uploaded later, he said that she signed the contract so she can't get out of it, and he will upload it anyway. The suicide forest video, the way he treated the tasered rat and took a fish out of water to give CPR, he threw a prank on his fans of him being shot in his house, with fake blood and everything. Ik we're not supposed to assume Anonymous said to effys-closet: 12. but my brain can't help but reach to the conclusion that Logan is the sociopath, or has ASPD. There's also a thing called conduct disorder, which applies to kids and teens, basically the symptoms include manipulative behaviour, rage, impulsiveness, similar to sociopathy, but not necessarily. Kids with conduct disorder can have other disorders when they grow up, they don't have to have a lack of empathy, they can have ADHD. But diagnostically, in the US, you can only be diagnosed with ASPD if Anonymous said to effys-closet: 13. they have a diagnosis of conduct disorder in childhood. That's not necessary in Europe. So, a sociopath could not be diagnosed with ASPD in Europe, move to America and not be diagnosed with ASPD in adulthood, cuz they don't have a conduct disorder diagnosis. Now, about the whole controversy of kati vilifying sociopathy, I kinda disagree with most people. I do think that the whole idea of sociopaths being all serial killers needs to be debunked, most sociopaths actually function in society. Anonymous said to effys-closet: 14. Psychopaths even do well in business and politics cuz they have the manipulation skills, and the willingness to exploit. I myself have had issues with mental health, I hate the stigma, but to say that "not all sociopaths and ASPD people are bad" kind of goes against the definition. I have even seen someone say that some sociopaths they've met want to cure themselves and one had even succeeded. Well, again I doubt the cure claim cuz it's a significant amount of brain damage to be reversed... Anonymous said to effys-closet: 15. And also, why would you want to get cured if you're a sociopath? They tend to see emotions and empathy as a weakness, and they get the most ahead with their manipulation in life, they have fun in exploiting people. Why would they wanna cure themselves? Now, I do feel some empathy for sociopaths cuz it's not their fault they are the way they are, but still, they are bad people, why would we wanna be around them and have things to lose? Again, I do still feel Kati's approach was unprofessional Anonymous said to effys-closet: 16. But I'm just not on board with the whole mental health stigma thing being applied to sociopaths. I don't want there to be a stigma that all sociopaths are criminals or serial killers, but if the key of sociopathy is to lack empathy, and if you do have empathy then you're not a sociopath. That being said, I'm in no way an expert, I took psych in high school, and am in my 2nd gap year with no direction in life. I wrote an essay and that's where my credentials end. That's it from me. Bye!

Okay so this is maybe the longest ask I’ve ever gotten which is super exciting for me.  But also bear with me if my answer is a bit disjointed to try and respond to it all. 

Before I get into the meat of my answer, I think I should say two things.  First, I really don’t care all that much about this series or about Jake Paul.  I’m happy to answer questions about it but I think the entire thing boils down to nonsense and we shouldn’t be giving Jake Paul our attention.

I also think this entire conversation is the blind leading the blind.  You with your 4000 word essay one time in high school, me with my master’s degree, Kati Morton with her MFT degree… none of us are really qualified to talk about this since we don’t work in the field of ASPD research, diagnosis, or treatment. So I don’t know how productive this conversation can really be.  Like much of medicine and especially psychiatry, the research moves so quickly that what we thought was true two months ago may not be true now, and so it becomes a lot of “well in my understanding…” and “when I researched this once…” instead of people who can really make definitive statements about this topic.  A lot of the conversation around this has been based on pop-psychology, and I think that benefits no one.  I’ve been doing my best to correct those pop-psychology misconceptions about ASPD on here, but my knowledge is really limited in this area.

Like I said in my response when we talked about this before, sociopathy and psychopathy are not diagnosable conditions and so using them as terms is functionally useless because there’s no agreed-upon criteria for what those words actually mean. ASPD is a clinically separate diagnosis and takes a more nuanced approach to the types of behaviors that one sees in so-called psychopaths and sociopaths.  The Hare’s checklist exists, and that’s about all you can say for it.  There’s a lot of criticism around its usage and again, it’s been rejected by the psychiatric community as a whole and isn’t really used clinically, so it can’t be considered a consensus for how we define “psychopathy”.  The checklist sometimes used in prisons in the US to try and assess how likely it is for a felon to reoffend, but if you know anything about the US prison system, you’ll know it’s not really up to date with the latest and greatest in medical science.  And even within the prison community, it’s efficacy is being questioned.

There are distinctions that people have made between “psychopaths” and “sociopaths”, but again, those words don’t really mean anything from a clinical standpoint and so any distinctions or definitions people assign to them are useless from a practical standpoint because there’s no agreed upon definition for those words.  There isn’t really research focused on those terms and so to draw distinctions like “one is born and the other is made” is, in my opinion, silly.  There is ASPD and the research behind it, and as we learn more about ASPD we learn about the genetic basis for it and how environment impacts peoples’ likelihood of developing it. 

As with many things, ASPD is a spectrum.  It has come out through the research that some people with ASPD do indeed have empathy and emotions, others respond to treatment, and others don’t seem to exhibit empathy, emotions, or respond to intervention.  Many neurological, biological, and psychiatric conditions are like that, so I’m not surprised that it’s like that in this case as well.  Depending on the severity of the case, people with ASPD may not have the ability to recover.  Depression is similar; in mild to moderate depression, you can sometimes see reversal of neurological changes, but in severe depression, those neurological changes are permanent to the brain structure.

It is not true that a diagnosis of ASPD requires a diagnosis of conduct disorder in childhood.  It requires that the individual have exhibited conduct problems by the age of 15, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that all individuals with ASPD were diagnosed with Conduct Disorder or vice versa.  Conduct Disorder is a diagnosable condition with its own set of criteria; “conduct problems” is a generalized symptom.  Statistics are hard to come by, but it seems that only 25-40% of children with conduct disorder are later diagnosed with ASPD.The idea that “psychopaths do well in business” is pop psychology more than anything else, but I think it’s correct that not all people with ASPD are bad.  They’re people who were predisposed to an illness who had the bad luck of being put in an environment that brought it out in them.  I think there’s a limit to how culpable they are, and I think that some people with ASPD do realize that there’s something wrong and seek treatment.  The idea that “some sociopaths want to cure themselves and one even succeeded!” is again pop psychology and taking a very un-nuanced approach to the disorder.  ASPD is a spectrum.  It’s not as cut and dry as “no emotions/empathy” or “emotions!”, and that’s not part of the clinical criteria for having ASPD. In fact, criteria that included remorse, guilt, or empathy have been removed from the DSM in the fifth edition because it was felt that that criteria was too subjective; now it focuses primarily on observable behaviors.  Some patients do find ways to lessen the severity of their symptoms.  Because it’s a small population to begin with and many of the population who are studied are in prison, it’s hard to make generalizations about what percentage of the population with ASPD that might be, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. 

As far as the Jake Paul series goes, I didn’t watch the rest of the series and I don’t plan to.  As I said before, I’m uninterested in the Paul brothers and don’t think they deserve my time or attention.  I think it does sound likely that Jake’s upbringing and environment contributed to making him who he is today.  But that is true for everyone, and true for people who grew up in much worse situations than he did.  The divorce of parents and being forced to play football and encouraged to be “more of a man” is not exactly trauma inducing for the average person.  It seems that there are genetic factors involved in ASPD and other psychiatric diagnoses, so it makes sense that some people in a particular environment develop psychiatric conditions and others do not. But that ultimately doesn’t excuse his behavior nor does it make him a particularly sympathetic character in my eyes.  There is always an opportunity for people to seek help and better themselves, and he seems profoundly uninterested in doing either.

TL;DR: The terms “psychopath” and “sociopath” are functionally useless and we should stop using them, and everyone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about (myself included) should stop feeding this discussion.

[bigskydreaming]

Young Justice Season Three spoilers

YJ Producers: We have a Muslim superhero this season, look how great she is and how progressive we are!

Actual YJ episodes: Okay so Muslim superhero might be a bit of a stretch since well, if you wanna get technical, she’s actually a sentient piece of alien technology whose soul went into the body of a dead Muslim girl when her original alien tech got smushed. But even though she continually insists that she is not Gabrielle Daou, the Muslim girl whose body this was originally, and that’s the entire reason she chose a new name for herself, she is a completely different person aka a non Muslim, not even human person - she still wears a hijab! Totally counts!

YJ Producers: We always wanted to portray LGBTQ+ superheroes, we’ve actually had one the whole time and you just didn’t know it because mean old Cartoon Network wouldn’t let us show it, now that we’re on our own we can and will be showing LGBTQ+ characters this season!

Actual YJ episodes thirteen episodes into the season: Error 404 Content Not Found

YJ Producers: We’re finally gonna include Cyborg! Victor Stone is in the house, we love and appreciate that character so much, we really wanted to wait until we could do his story justice!

Actual YJ episodes: So see, after getting gruesomely almost-deaded after a huge blowout fight in which we showed Vic has a lot of rage cuz Black Teenage Boys Are Just Like That, that was all aimed at his dad for not showing any interest in his life and for never showing his son he cared until now cuz Black Dads Are Just Like That, well okay, yeah that sucks, but what happened NEXT is really cool - so his dad saved his life, right? Even if it was by using alien tech that every single person he came in contact with kept telling him wasn’t like normal tech, it was sentient and thus yes COULD be bad, which was further demonstrated through the fact that said life-saving tech kept like...hijacking Vic’s own body and turning him into a rage-monster that we could totally show being a Stereotype of Black Teenage Boy Aggression as he remorselessly hunted a terrified Violet but it wasn’t his fault, he was totally powerless to control his own actions cuz of the Evil Alien Tech in his body and like wait, whats bad about that, I forget the question??? Oh right! But stop WORRYING, its all good, see, as long as he stayed around Violet and never went too far from her ever, the woman of color had magic rage-pacifying skills that existed solely to calm down the Stereotypical Angry Black Teen when he couldn’t control himself because Reasons. LOL WHY ARE YOU UPSET, WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT, THIS IS A GOOD VICTOR STORY, ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???

YJ Producers: We love and value our characters of color and would never hurt them, we’ve actually taken steps to make sure of that!

Actual YJ Episodes: Violet and Vic are both practically unkillable, see? As proof, watch us violently murder Violet in every single episode in new and creatively gruesome ways, with bonus Vic near-death experiences that allow us to show him just utterly wrecked in ways we’ve never shown a single white character, even in this season when we’re all about showing off how much creative freedom we have now without CENSORSHIP! 

YJ Producers: This season is also going to focus on the stress and mental health issues that go along with life as a superhero, and who better to demonstrate this by suffering from superhero-related PTSD than Jefferson Pierce? The guy whose divorce already showed the stress and relationship issues that go along with life as a superhero (since all our white heroes in relationships are still going strong)!

Actual YJ Episodes: Oh, nothing say about this one huh, PUNK? That’s right, we actually did exactly what we said we’d do, see? Just look at how much time we spend talking about how traumatized Jefferson is and how miserable he is after killing a kid, and that’s nothing we’ve ever done (or would ever do - SHH THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW THAT) to a white hero! PLUS, like, he’s definitely getting better though, thanks to the support of the much younger character he’s surrounded by, instead of y’know, turning to his established friends and colleagues his own age for support! AND AND AND don’t forget about his growing relationship with the white doctor lady who is definitely NOT super creepy and NOT likely to betray him and break his heart and/or force him to make painful decisions when choosing between her and the kids he’s vowed to protect at some climactic point later in the season that all of that is super clearly not building towards!

YJ Producers: And don’t forget about Jaime Reyes and Virgil Hawkins and Mal Duncan and Raquel and Karen! They’re all still here too!

Actual YJ Episodes: We’ve definitely forgotten that Jaime Reyes and Virgil Hawkins and Mal Duncan and Raquel and Karen are all still here too.

YJ Producers: Major life events have happened to these heroes offscreen in the time we’ve been away from them, stuff that’s really shaped who they are and who they’ve become by now. All this stuff really matters, its how we’re different from other shows, we don’t pretend these characters stop existing the second they’re off your screens! Looks, Barbara Gordon is in a wheelchair! She’s Oracle now!

Actual YJ Episodes: Why would we bother to explain when or how this happened with even a single line of dialogue when The Killing Joke exists and is available on our streaming service? You sound dumb.

YJ Producers: Kaldur is our proof of how important our characters are to our over-all universe, look how far he’s come! He’s not Aqualad anymore, he’s AquaMAN, he’s one of the co-chairs of the Justice League, right up there with Wonder Woman who he definitely doesn’t need to turn to for approval or oversight of his actual decisions!

Actual YJ Episodes: We’re pretty sure we covered all this in the two minutes of screen time Kaldur’s had all season!

YJ Producers: Look, bottom line, this season, being away from Cartoon Network really allowed us to stretch our wings and flex creatively, we’re doing a lot of stuff with this story that just wouldn’t have been possible before, when we were on a network like CN and had overseers restricting our every move! This season gets a lot darker, a lot more mature, a lot more everything cuz freedom of speech baby! That’s what its all about!

Actual YJ Episodes: In support of our thesis, watch us up the graphically violent content of every single episode and kill lots of people instead of just cartoonishly knocking them out and carting them away to jail! That’s it, that’s everything we wanted to do that CN wouldn’t let us, that now we have total freedom to prove in a myriad of ways! What do you mean, what about *looks at smudged writing on hand* LGB - look we can’t be expected to read what that says when we have graphic violence to depict, fuck yeah!

YJ Producers: Besides, in happier news, its not all doom and gloom this season! Connor and M’Gann got engaged! Now that we’ve completely moved past all the stuff M’Gann did in S2 and don’t consider it worth mentioning, Superboy and Miss Martian are back together, and SB is totally gonna marry the woman who betrayed him in the one highly specific way that goes back to the very source of every trust issue he has and reason he has so many walls pushing people away!

Actual YJ Episodes: Yeah this is definitely happening. Suck my dick, Connor fans and fans who relate to and identify with SB and his story and think its maybe just not the healthiest to wave a wand and go “Happily ever after!” With, y’know, the guy whose greatest canon fear and paranoia is the sanctity of his mind being violated and being unable to trust that his own thoughts are really his and not just being spoon fed to him in a pod at Project Cadmus or by his telepathic girlfriend when she doesn’t like his opinion or his criticism of her actions and just doesn’t want to fight about it anymore. Look, she said she was sorry, get over it. What more do you want? For Connor to move on and have a healthy romantic relationship with someone who he doesn’t ever have to wonder if his trust in her and second chance is real and valid and not just her making him say and do what she wanted, like the way she definitely has before? For him and M’Gann to rebuild their trust over time, gradually, as friends, with the understanding they can be close again but romantic intimacy between them specifically probably isn’t in the best interests of the guy who will always have to wonder now if his thoughts are really his, no matter whether or not that’s true? Yeah, no, that sounds like a lot of work tbh, and really, we just like Miss Martian and Superboy together, they’re just cute, you know? Sides, we killed Wally and we don’t actually wanna talk about why Barbara’s paralyzed now and like, focus on her as a character, so what other longterm pairings do we really have? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THESE ARE ALL OUR OWN CHOICES AND IF WE WANT BETTER FOUNDATIONS FOR OUR CHARACTER DYNAMICS WE SHOULD MAKE BETTER CHOICES? UGH GET OFF MY BALLS, MAN.

YJ Producers: We’ve got Terra this season, and we’re doing some really cool, brand new things there.

Actual YJ Episodes: Slade’s Apprentice arc from Teen Titans the show and The Judas Contract in the comics, but really aren’t they the same thing? If you think about it, is it even possible to do that in a new way? Look, its not like we could do anything MORE original than that, like what, did you want us to have Tara genuinely be the good and loving sister she was when she reunited with her brother and expressed how traumatized she was by the things she did when she was supposedly being mind-controlled, actually invested in saving other trafficked meta-kids from being used and hurt the way she had been? Like, the way it seemed she was being written before we revealed it was a fake-out and she was actually working for Slade exactly like those other times we swore we were gonna be more original than that? Ugh why are you so unrealistic, dude, you have such weird expectations.

Me: Like dear YJ, you’ve still got me watching, because like a) I’m weak and I need this, b) nostalgia, c) Dick, Artemis, Connor, Jefferson and the chance of Jason and also Violet, Brion and Vic are all still enjoyable as characters even though your treatment of them and your narrative choices are all extremely suspect and also craptastic and also I really wanna punch you for a lot of this.

But goddamn, this was NOT your best work, and after years of waiting only to get this? Like.....so not crash, dudes. Not even a little bit.