#and the focus on the mob mentality in this season was really interesting because it shows how susceptable you can be to things and even

[pettyprocrastination]

i'm so happy you've succumbed to the eddie hype i'm obsessed with him it's not even funny anymore

He's such a fun character ! I also really really loved the way they took his character and the overall themes this season, focusing on how he's a direct victim of the satanic panic of the eighties (to the point where he's based off of one of the Memphis three)

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

[fymagnificentwomcn]

Thoughts on kasim? And his relationship with kosem? Also do you think that murad envied him in some ways

I feel like kosem and Kasim’s relationship isn’t appreciated enough at all. I have never seen any edit or anything of them anywhere. What do you guys think of their relationship?

Kasim’s relationship with Kösem and Ibrahim was lovely! Makes you really wish they had succeeded and Kasim had become the sultan instead of Ibrahim... everything could have been so different.

The most problematic thing about Kasim was definitely his attitude to Bayezid because while yes Bayezid backstabbed them, he should have later taken a chill pill ultimately and instead of quarreling with him should have tried to focus on their common threat aka Murad. Yet there was still Gülbahar, who would never be conciliatory and of course Kasim does have his reasons to be scared due to suspicions of her being alive. Maybe if relations between brothers hadn’t been so bad, Bayezid would not have got that close to his mum and at least sent her away to some safe place? We might never know. Ibrahim was mad at Bayezid too intiially, but later let it slide.

Kasim is clearly well aware of Murad’s true nature from the start because he’s scared at the prospect of Murad taking full power already in episode 1 of Season 2 and remarks how Mu/rat will likely lock them all up, which later happens to him in just a few episodes. This, I guess, contrasts a bit with Bayezid’s naivety regarding Murad - he never expected him going as far as locking Kasim up with their mad uncle as punishment. Bayezid is all about obeying the rules, Kasim is more lax at the beginning, as his “love affair” showed, but we know Bayezid will later dare to engage in forbidden love too.

After Kasim is released from kafes, the relationship between all the brothers is never the same and it’s no longer as friendly as we have seen at the beginning when even Bayezid and Kasim were in very good relations.

Kasim has definitely a lovely relationship with Ibrahim - they are clearly very close confidants and he is very protective of his younger sibling throughout, even being there to comfort him when Ibrahim breaks down during Gevherhan’s funeral or afterwards coming to defend him from Murad when Ibrahim faces Mu rat and calls him out on the treatment of their mother and other people. I also loved when he tried to always keep him calm when they were in kafes, e.g. by trying to mention their childhood game.

I think that following Bayezid’s death Kasim matured and while seating in kafes truly wanted to become a merciful padisah and follow more into his father’s footsteps than Murad’s as he himself claimed. He also seemed to understand his mother’s feelings – he stressed he knew what she had been through and had done for them, how she still proceeds slowly even once he and Ibrahim are in cages because her feelings for Murad hinder her from acting decively. You can truly see in his talks with Kösem that he now wants to return to peace their family had had before Murad took the throne and he wants to have a little family with his mum and Ibrahim that could live in peace and without fear.

Was Murad jealous of their closeness?

Murad wanted everyone’s life to revolve around HIM. And again he only wanted his mother to focus on HIM. He never took into account she also cared about whole dynasty, including her other kids. She was forbidden in his mind to take any actions with thought about times when he would be gone.

This is why he got soo mad about her going with princes to the janissary barracks. He didn’t pay attention that Kösem had received reliable news from Kemankeş about janissaries being already on verge of revolt, Murad’s sons were told to be dead of plague, and that nobody saw the princes since they had been locked up by Murad like two years ago.  Again it was widely known by then that the plague hit the palace and even Murad contracted it from his sons. Nobody knew whether Murad’s brothers were still alive, didn’t catch the plague as well and whether they were surely still alive or in sound mental and physical condition. And since they were only heirs end of dynasty could thus be near and for Ottomans no padişah meant no law, so riots etc. were allowed. It was also customary for palace factions to hide padisah’s demise or truth about his condition due to them fighting for their personal interests (and even in this case Yusuf managed to hide Murad’s later, correct diagnosis from even the Valide Sultan herself). Murad HAD to remember when the mob almost attacked to palace when they wanted to see the princes in ep. 31. Kösem was doing her duty and you can bet that if they had attacked the palace with him in it, he would have then accused Kösem of inciting them or not stopping them from rebelling. Similar case was when Ahizade vouched for him back in episode 31 that the princes were alive and well and Murad got mad because of course he is the Padişah, fate of princes and dynasty is all him, nobody will vouch for him even if this helps HIM (I just cannot even comprehend his sick logic). Again, she was at his sick bed, she left to take care of matters connected with state and her other children, and would have surely returned to his side after they returned from barracks if he had not stormed in. But he’s of course bitter she didn’t just sit at his sick bed crying all the time or better decided her life was over because he was going to die.Kosem’s whole life was balancing so many of her responsibilites.

When Kösem tells him that if he wants to punish anyone, it should be her, not her other children, of course he decides to ask for fetva anyway (and again he KNOWS he’s fatally ill and that would mean end of dynasty and does not inform the müfiti about it). It’s quite repeated pattern – he uses Kösem’s kids to demand obedience from her, just as he blackmailed her about locking Kasim and Ibrahim up if she did not leave palace. He knows she that’s the best way to make her obedient.

Murad in general wants desperately to turn the clock back, but things in  the Ottoman Empire already changed and Padisah was no longer such “God” as before:

If it came to deposition, the queen mother’s acquiescence in the removal of her son preserved the bond between ruler and ruled in a reassuring way that all the niceties of Islamic law could not match. At such times the continuity of the dynasty could be maintained only by means of a living link between generations, and in the postexpansionist empire, it was the sultan’s mother who was that link. (...) Interregnums were periods of social disruption. Because of the personal nature of the bond between sultan and subjects, oaths of loyalty were considered to have lapsed at the death of a sultan. This led to the practice of looting and general insubordination until the next sultan had been enthroned and could demand the obedience of his subjects. At these times of potential disruption, royal women played a vital role in preserving dynastic continuity: by hiding the death of the old sultan and thus preventing social disruption, by protecting the interests of the new sultan, and by preserving the traditions of the dynasty. (...)

It is in this changing political environment that the significance of the valide sultan's role in depositions can best be understood. The mother of the deposed sultan performed the function of providing sanction for the rejection of the individual sultan, thus allowing dynastic legitimacy to be preserved. The mothers of three of the five seventeenth-century sultans who were deposed—Mustafa, İbrahim, and Mustafa II (r. 1695-1703)—were alive at the time of their sons’ depositions. There is evidence to suggest that each of these women was formally petitioned by the highest officers of state—the grand vezir and the müfti—not only to approve but also to assist in the transfer of authority. (...) The valide sultan’s role in these dramatic events was to some degree a formality: she was asked to ratify a decision that had already been made by leading politicians and religious dignitaries. Yet her sanction of the forcible transfer of power from one sultan to another was necessary because it symbolically prevented the rupturing of dynastic continuity. Despite the fact that Islamic legal tradition allowed rebellion against a sovereign who prevented the pursuit of the proper Muslim life (it was precisely this kind of argument that had been put forth to justify İbrahim’s deposition), the devotion of Ottomans to their dynasty was so great that the rebellion of the sultan’s servants against their master appeared to violate their oath of loyalty to their sovereign and to return ingratitude for the bounty he had bestowed on them (it was principally with this argument that Kösem Sultan countered the religio-legal argument). In being called upon to legitimate the subjects’ withdrawal of their loyalty, the valide sultan, as the senior member of the royal family, was endowed with the responsibility of representing the welfare of the dynasty as a whole, even if this meant sacrificing the interest of a particular sultan. (...) The valide sultan, as head of the imperial harem, was the one individual who could sanction the crossing of its boundary if necessary. In the absence of the sultan, she was the one individual who could exercise authority in both the outer and inner worlds of government.

Taken from: Leslie Peirce, The Imperial Harem - Women and the Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire

As such, Yahya Efendi telling him that even a Padişah cannot make such a decision like end of dynasty (and thus whole state) in bolum 56 is very poignant.

Murad generally wants to bring back old times of when dynasty centered around one person aka the current padişah and when loyalty was only to him, not whole dynasty. He wants to be the most important and this also comes out in relation with his own mother. He also misses how in past mothers usually had only one son, so obviously they focused solely on him, and their lives were supposed to be over once their son died, all they were supposed to do was to be custodians of their tombs and memory. He obviously would love such old times to come back.

I think people are more fascinated by relationship between Kösem and Murad, and while it is interesting, at the same time they miss they could never be a working “power duo” - they might have the same spirit aka forceful,charismatic and domineering personality, but ultimately it was reflected differently as they used completely different ruling methods and adhered to a different vision of ruling and sultanate. /And of course there’s issue of Murad’s attitude towards his mother and him accepting NO ONE’s support and influence, he was never one for sharing his power even a little. Valide ruling only harem was an outdated concept by this point, but it was what he wanted to turn the clock back to earlier and outdated concepts of sultanate and sovereignty/

Some cool edits:

https://winterhalters.tumblr.com/post/162640540301/k%C3%B6sem-appreciation-meme-moments-with-children

https://haticesultanas.tumblr.com/post/177842459565/kosem-and-kasim-the-evolution-of-their

https://winterhalters.tumblr.com/post/169304031176/kasim-wearing-his-mommys-colors

- Joanna

[soholdmetightao3]

Thank you! I think I was mostly just trying to see how interesting someone else would find the idea / assure myself that it's not stupid, rip.

I do plan on putting it on my ideas page now (a page where I list all of my fic ideas, regardless of if I think I'll use them or not), but I have a few other fics I'm more interesting in writing first (like a short one where Mob gets to relax after everything bc he deserves it, and an age swap one - only planning to rewrite the first ep with that atm to test the waters & plan more if folks seem interested)

So I may leave this on my mental backburner for now & let plot & details work themselves out while I focus on other things

I do think the shift after the season 1 finale (after they learn Reigen knows about Claw) would be interesting (would he lie about how he knows about them? How much was revealed when they broke into the place?)

&, later on, that could potentially change some bits about his relationship with Serizawa too (& maybe they feel they relate to each other a bit more about that, get some closure in talking about it to each other, & find peace in one another in this way)

You’re welcome! Yeah I definitely like Reigen having interacted with Claw, and being tortured by them, would add to the options within the story. And I feel like it would sweeten the pot that much more when Reigen is yelling at the seventh division and breaking their delusions. I could see Reigen volunteering for a job at claw while in the dark because hey money. I don’t know if Reigem would be naive enough to fall for it. But also, with Reigen’s whole ‘I want to be somebody’ I could see him turning a blind eye to his questions and applying to Claw. He’s someone who looks for stimulating work and doesn’t have a lot of friends. So Reigen could be the prefect since very few, if any, people would realize he was missing.

Yeah that’s a great idea! I try and write down scene ideas and dialogue I think of in one book notebook and then pick and choose what I want to combine. It can also help to break it down to chapters. For example,

Chapter 1: Reigen’s family and childhood, backstory

Chapter 2: Reigen at the water company with no connection to his job when oh, what’s this? A company called Claw is hiring.

Chapter 3: Reigen cautiously looks into the building and builds off of his desire to be someone.

Chapter 4: Reigen is kidnapped and they try and force his powers out of him.

Something like that could be really helpful for plotting ideas. I also love the idea of Mob getting a break because damnit he deserves one. Maybe Reigen is also lying because if he tells the truth about his involvement with claw then he thinks that makes him a bad guy. Or maybe he doesn’t want to him that he was a victim to them, too. Maybe he thinks Mob will leave him if he’s only an artificial esper. There’s a lot that could be done with this idea and I think it’s very interesting! Yes Serizawa ajd Reigen could have a lot in common- both feeling at a loss, both lying to themselves, both wanting friends, etc.

[master-sass-blast]

Announcement for the CHC -11/1/2019

Okay, so, here’s the thing.

Some of you may not know this, but I do not work or go to school. A couple years ago, I suffered from a near total breakdown of my mental and physical health, and as such I had to put everything on hold to focus on stabilizing and getting better.

In that time, I really came into my own with writing fanfiction, especially for the Colossus Hyperfixation Collection. I love doing it; it’s one of my favorite things.

However, since I’m finally getting better, I need to try and at least get my career back on track. I was working on writing a novel before my health spiraled, and I still want to get it finished and try to get it published. I also have a massive series and novel-verse entailed with that novel that I want to do, along with some e-reader stories that I want to try my hand at.

The only way I’ve ever been able to post once a week for this series is because I’ve literally had nothing else going in my life. It’s been fun, and at times challenging, but... my life is changing. And that means that I won’t be able to post as often.

None of that is easy for me to admit. I have OCD, which means that any sort of deviation from my routine is very distressing for me. I’ve been keeping this schedule for over a year, so I’m sure you can imagine how deeply ingrained it is in my head.

I also don’t know what my new posting schedule is going to look like in the wake of getting back to living life and doing adult things --which is also not comfortable for my OCD. The CHC is not going away, by any means; I intend to see it through to the end of its story because I love it dearly. I’m just not sure how fast that story is going to be told after a certain point.

This change will be coming at the beginning of 2020, since that’s the time marker I set for myself to try and step back into being a professional novelist. I’ll be posting as usual up until then, but after that... we’re just going to have to see where the chips fall. The schedule will be dependent on my health and capacity first, time available second. Just because you have “time” doesn’t mean you should necessarily spend it in certain ways.

Thank you all in advance for understanding and bearing with me while I get this all figured out. This is a challenging time for me, with my OCD and whatnot, and I appreciate your patience as I try to navigate the next part of my journey.

However, since we’re about at the halfway point of the CHC (at least as far as storytelling goes, if not fic count), I thought it’d be a good time to introduce some fic concepts I’ve been toying with for a while to y’all! They’ll be listed under the cut with little descriptions and their respective “main” pairing(s). Feel free to peruse the list, and if anything strikes your fancy, let me know via reblogging, commenting, sending in an ask, and/or DM-ing me! (Hopefully, Tumblr will be nice and let me see everything.)

[Also, these aren’t all the fics I’ve been toying with, just the ones I feel most confident/passionate about. I also reserve the right to strike any of these fics from the list in the future depending on my interest and ability at the time.]

Something Wicked This Way Comes -Piotr Rasputin x Reader: Piotr winds up meeting and dating the Reader who, unbeknownst to him, is a reincarnation of Baba Yaga and operates as a vigilante in Hell’s Kitchen. He also keeps his identity as a mutant and X-Man a secret from the Reader due to fear of persecution (and also plot drama). Shit hits the fan when they discover each other’s secret identities --and then again when it’s revealed that an ancient goddess is meddling in the affairs of Hell’s Kitchen with intentions for evil. It’s up to the X-Force, the Reader, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, and the Punisher to save the day before it’s too late. (Piotr’s POV; features Frank Castle x Karen Page, Matt Murdock x Elektra Natchios, and Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson. Would probably be around 15-20 chapters.)

High School/Non-Mutant AU -Piotr Rasputin x Reader: Begins at start of sophomore year and follows through until senior year/after senior year. Follows Reader as she recovers from car accident wherein she lost both her parents and adjusts to living in New York and with her uncle. Reader meets Piotr, a Russian transfer student, in class and assigned to him as a study partner. The two initially butt heads, but eventually manage to resolve their differences and become friends. Piotr loops the Reader into his friend group (featuring Wade, Nathan, Neena, Karen Page, and Frank Castle), and the group spends the rest of high school going on adventures together and dealing with school. The Reader and Piotr also develop feelings for each other, but will they ever be brave enough to act on them? (Yes, yes they will. Reader’s POV; features Frank Castle x Karen Page and Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson. Would probably be around 30-40 chapters.)

Cinderella/Non-Mutant Retelling -Piotr Rasputin x Reader: Essentially Cinderella, but with a lot of liberties taken and extra plot jammed in. Set somewhere in Russia-ish, don’t ask me what time period. (Reader’s POV; would probably be around 12-14 chapters.)

Storyteller/Non-Mutant -Piotr Rasputin x Reader: The Reader, after dealing with too much stress while living in New York, decides to head to Maine for a multi-month sabbatical to work on her latest novel. The house she rents in next to an artist and teacher’s named Piotr Rasputin. The Reader, despite being eccentric and awkward, manages to charm Piotr with her quirky behavior, and the two wind up becoming fast friends. Set during winter, lots of fireside fluff, very meta oops. (Reader’s POV; feeling around 18 chapters but I could be wrong.)

Mafia/Non-Mutant AU -Piotr Rasputin x Reader: Aka the one I reserve the right not to do because of how much sin will be in it, but essentially: the Reader is a sex worker who meets Piotr when he hires Nathan and Wade for some mercenary work. The two decide to strike up a “professional” relationship --meaning he hires her for sex and they have a lot of it. Over the course of the story, the two grow closer and closer together, until they finally wind up in a relationship of sorts. Unfortunately, Hell’s Kitchen isn’t even a safe place for the Wicked, what with vigilantes looming around every corner. (Reader’s POV; features Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson and Frank Castle x Karen Page. Easily over 30 chapters.)

If You Get Yourself a Duckling -Frank Castle x Karen Page: Probably the one I’ve talked most about on my blog. Essentially, Frank Castle winds up accidentally adopting a murder!kid who then helps him get together with Karen. Follows the events after Season 2 of Daredevil, the events of the Punisher Seasons One and Two, Season 3 of Daredevil, and my take on Season 3 of the Punisher/Season Four of Daredevil, and yes in that order because I want Frank around when Bullseye shows up. Also has two different “after” stories attached to it, so this one’s a chonker. (Frank Castle POV.)

Rock Star/Music Critic AU -Frank Castle x Karen Page: Frank Castle is a frontman for a rock band, Karen is a music critic/journalist. The two meet through Karen’s work and hit it off. The story follows their relationship as it buds and blossoms. (Mixed POV; either 15 chapters or over 40, no way of telling until I write it.)

Close to Home -Frank Castle x Karen Page: Frank and Karen reconnect after the events of Season Two of the Punisher and try to work together (along with Matt and Foggy) to solve a string of mob-perpetrated crimes and catch whoever’s behind them. However, the true mastermind of the crimes is much closer than they ever realized... and seems to be gunning for Karen. (Frank POV; probably around 20 chapters.)

Stripper!Reader Fic -Frank Castle x Reader: The Reader is a stripper who works at one of the clubs that Frank cleans the Irish out of in Season Two of Daredevil. The two wind up running into each other several times and helping each other with various problems. Eventually, they develop a camaraderie (and feelings for each other). (Frank’s POV; definitely over 30 chapters. This one also has two AU fics based on the main fic... so yeah.) 

Your Love is My Drug -Frank Castle x Reader: The Reader is a friend of Jessica Jones and is introduced to Frank Castle --whereupon she realizes he’s her soulmate. However, the Reader is certain that he’ll want nothing to do with her due to her issues with substance abuse and her family’s history as a “mob” type family. She does her best to stay away from him and her demons, but she can’t outrun either of them forever. (Reader’s POV; definitely over 30 chapters.)

[copperbadge]

Podcast Recommendations

So, I asked for podcast reccs and boy howdy did you guys deliver :D I didn’t really have a response to a lot of the comments but I wanted to both acknowledge them and also share them, so I thought I’d compile them here. I’ve taken out duplicates, and bolded and added commentary to ones I’ve encountered; as I try them out I’ll come back and add more. (At the moment I’m way behind and catching up, so it may be a few weeks.) 

Because I don’t want this to become like A Thing, I’m not going to add any more recommendations or respond to reblogs -- sometimes I just need to make a cutoff point. Thanks for all your thoughtful suggestions, guys! 

biblioaesthetica replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Fiction podcasts: Solutions To Problems is a little Night Vale-ish but snappier and funnier, premise a space alien and a human in the future give out love advice and time machines are tricky. 

The Strange Case Of The Starship Iris is like if Firefly were only overheard by the evil empire, it's queer, and the tension and mystery is great. 

The Bright Sessions is about a therapist's sessions with extraordinarily powered people. There's an underlying spooky tone to this

myjennieblr replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

You might enjoy The Fridge Light, a CBC series about the providence of many of our staple foods and changing trends in them. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thefridgelight

timetravelingvampire replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Up and Vanished. Host investigates missing persons, one person per season. Season 2 just began

jessiqa82 replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

LeVar Burton Reads is probably my favorite podcast. Each episode LeVar reads a short story. The genre differs story to story and it’s really just nice hearing his voice.

ilacatz replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

I really like the Phileas Club: 3 or 4 people from around the world talk about recent local and international news, with occasional specials about certain topics/countries

wordsandshadows replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Apocrypals is a really great show - two guys having in-depth discussions on books of the Bible & the Apocrypha (which I actually found, weirdly, because the writer of Magnus Archives mentioned it on twitter)

skulkingwriter replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

I would give a qualified rec to the Black Tapes 

maybe the first series of Tanis - when the slow burn faux-real urban legend horror stuff works it works, when it doesn't it gets a bit repetitive and shark-jumpy.

andromeda-reinvented replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

My roommate listens to “And That’s Why We Drink” which is like, combo true crime/weird shenanigans. She really likes it and the couple times I’ve listened in, I enjoyed it as well.

dragonmuse replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

If you like My Favorite Murder, you might enjoy S'laughter which is two British women discussing British crime some historical, some more modern.

bigwigs replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Re: true crime, I’d strongly recommend In the Dark - its focus is on the police investigation surrounding a couple of cases and it’s fascinating (though difficult) listening

ohgreatblackbunny replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Pounded in my butt by my own podcast by Chuck tingle is a fun romp for occasional listening. 

If you want to just learn about cults (Cults) is a good one. 

I like a lot of the how it works podcasts-stuff you missed in history class/stuff mom never told you/ridiculous history. 

(Sam’s Note -- I couldn’t get into Stuff You Missed In History Class, I think possibly because I knew a lot of the content, but I don’t think it’s a bad podcast, just not fitted to me.)

For news and current events I like 1A. 

And if you feel like old nior style radio drama The Control Group is a fictional story about institutionalization involving murder, brainwashing, abuse of power. It's an interesting take on a dark part of mental health care.

sphinxyvic replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Have you been recced to listen to Futility Closet?                    

gemini-melia replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

I've listened to a couple of true crime series by Wonderly, Dirty John and Dr. death. They are short enough and engrossing but I feel you on the iffyness of true crime glamorization.

vr-trakowski replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

You might try The Hidden Almanac, described as Prairie Home Companion meets Lovecraft. It doesn't always have a plot but it's often hilarious. And each ep is only a few minutes long.

brilliant-starlight replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

You might like "You're Wrong About" ... looks at both historical and recent past events, on a wide range of types of topics.

mstornadox replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Becoming Mother Nature just launched. Fiction, about a teen girl who finds out her grandmother is Mother Nature.

knownasbelen replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

I love anything produced by Gimlet Media, but their Crimetown podcast might appeal? It’s true crime ish but the first season is about politics and the mob and they have great production values.

Sam’s Note: I really wanted to love Crimetown and I think for a lot of people it’s a great podcast, but I couldn’t keep track of who was talking -- I fell way behind and didn’t understand what was going on because they kept quoting people in rapid succession and I’d end up thinking a cop was a criminal or vice-versa. 

tardis-stowaway replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

Have you tried Criminal? It’s a true crime podcast where the crimes range from the harrowing to the silly (like a guy who streaks at major sporting events). There are also episodes about more loosely related topics, like an interview with trauma surgeons about gunshot wounds or about the forensics of shark attacks. It’s part of radiotopia, the same organization that supports Allusionist and 99% invisible.

spiderine replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

If you like the Allusionist, you'll LOOOVE "Answer Me This". It's done by the same woman (plus co-host Ollie and Martin The Sound Man) and it's both erudite and utterly hilarious.

dreamwaffles replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

I highly recommend Wine and Crime, where three Minnesotan friends discuss themed cases and review a related wine for the week (relation of wine to the crime: varied). They hit some true-crime classics, but most are new to me. Also they’re ridiculously funny.

the-other-sandy replied to your post “Out of curiosity, which podcasts are you into?”

For True Crime, I listen to The Vanished (ongoing) about missing persons cases. 

If you're willing to branch out, I also like Countdown (limited series) about space program accidents.

[silenthillmutual]

okay i’m trying to make an executive decision to work on updating all my fics, yes! even the mob psycho 100 and one punch man fics! even the osomatsu-san/one punch man crossover! 

so here’s my little list of fics i need to work on:

did you say ‘please just follow me?’ i thought you wanted me (cause i want you all to myself) - one punch man - saitama/genos, genos/metal bat. 

i used to have more of an idea about where i was going with this before my computer crashed a while ago and i lost all my notes on it. but it’s unrequited saitama -> genos and might actually end in genos/metal bat. i might get more steam for it when season 2 drops. 

i have three lines for this written so far

hands down - one punch man - saitama/genos.

i think i have an outline for this somewhere, but i’ve really run out of steam to update it despite how popular it was. again, once i rewatch the series and/or watch season two, or read it or something i might get more steam but for right now it hasn’t piqued my interest.

and now i just sit in silence - mob psycho 100 - gen (may have slight teru/mob)

the main reason i haven’t updated this is because it’s super depressing.

i do have a vague idea of how it will end but i haven’t decided how much of canon it needs to follow before i get to that end

born from - mob psycho 100 - gen

i do in fact have an outline for this! i am stuck on a puzzle and i know nothing about puzzle-writing...i should probably do some research while i’m at work for the puzzle i’m currently working on. and it would probably be a good idea to reread the manga.

this has a blog so i can keep myself up-to-date on it all. 

do i wanna know? - mob psycho 100 - teru/mob

i know what the endgame is gonna be and all but i don’t totally remember what all i was going to do with this. i think there was going to be some mob/onigawara in it? and maybe some shou/ritsu and reigen/serizawa

i should work on an outline at work

better things - danganronpa - ishimaru/mondo

again, i know what the endgame is but since i don’t have an outline i’m not entirely sure what my initial plan was on getting to it. 

five oh five - jojo’s bizarre adventure - various

it’s a silent hill au and i think i’m the only one invested in it. it’s not even an ongoing story so much as a place to drop little drabbles i’ve thought of for it here and there. so it’s not one that i feel all that pressured to update.

starfish crusaders - jojo’s bizarre adventure - various

i do have another chapter started for this! unfortunately i think it’s too soon for that chapter. i guess i could skip around a bit, and finish up the chapte ri have started, publish and backtrack, but part of me thinks that i should write jonathan meeting speedwagon or joseph & suzi q meeting caesar before i move on to polnareff meeting avdol.

unlike other fics where i don’t have an outline, i have a really clearcut idea of the order of events and how the fic will end (more or less). like five oh five it’s more for drabbles than anything else but there will be something of an overarching plotline. 

something to hold onto - osomatsu-san/one punch man - karamatsu/chibita, saitama/genos

i think i’m only gonna do one more chapter of this fic.

to be honest, i actually keep forgetting this one even exists. it was a very weird au idea that i had and i frequently forget it’s one i actually wrote down. but it never really had a long premise to begin with, so i think if i can bang out one more chapter it should be good to be finished. 

tell me where it hurts - danganronpa - ishimaru/mondo

there’s only one more chapter left of this one, too, and i’ve actually started it, i’m just not sure how to end it. i really need to stop procrastinating and just work on it, and see where it gets me, even if i’m not totally satisfied. i can always go back and edit before i publish, but i think putting it off is just making matters worse.

let’s call the whole thing off - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, background others

i have a vague idea for a few things that will happen in this fic but i don’t think it will be a long, ongoing thing. i haven’t had a desire to work on it because i initially started it for my ex-boyfriend before he dropped all interests we had in common and we broke up.

i do have the next chapter started but i haven’t been thrilled with how it’s turning out, but i might as well finish it up and publish it.

the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, avdol/polnareff

i have a couple different next chapters started but i haven’t decided on one yet, hence why it has not been updated.

i really should make an outline for this fic.

it’s mostly a fic of drabbles rather than a fic with an overarching plotline, outside of them eventually getting together.

she told me to come but i was already there - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, background hol/polnareff/avdol

i have the last chapter started but not finished, mostly because it will be a very long chapter and i have not had the focus needed to work on it.

i have most of the final lineup prepared but i need a month where i am not swamped to just work on writing it and not on worrying about other stuff I have to do. 

also i have been thinking about writing a follow-up to it but have not decided yet if that would be worth it, although i do have plot ideas.

heart of glass - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin, background avdol/polnareff

i actually have a full outline written of this. all i need is the time to follow it through. i have the next chapter started, but have not felt like i had the time to seriously focus on it in the way i feel i need to for a fic of this magnitude. so it has been a little while since i updated because i actually need to sit down with what i have written (all of which is on the computer, so not something i can do at work) and work out what is left to be written of the next chapter and just do it. hopefully april will be less busy for me.

heads on a science apart - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin

i have a vague idea of the endgame for this and something of a plotline to follow but i should still write out an outline. i have not started the next chapter yet and am not sure what to do with it.

i mostly update this as my mental health needs it.

warmth - jojo’s bizarre adventure - jotaro/kakyoin

no endgame in mind! no outline! i’m a wreck!

no but really i should write an outline for this poor fic. so far all i have in mind is that i update it as my mental health dictates with no particular aim about the story. i know that i eventually want to describe all the ways things are different, but i need to set up an outline in order to do this well. 

masterpiece theatre - akira/mob psycho 100 - kaneda/tetsuo, potentially teru/mob

only the vaguest ideas of what i’m doing here, i just wanted to explore tetsuo’s mental state and write some kanetetsu since i barely see any in the tags on ao3. i also really want to explore how tetsuo would interact in this kind of an alternate reality and in reaction to other espers who have come about their talents more naturally (and others who have not) 

fics like 30 prompts to keep the nasties away and jotakak week 2018 just need to be updated by prompt. i know 30 prompts i had started the next chapter but lost it when my computer crashed. i have the last chapter of jotakak week started, but it’s the middle part i’ve been struggling on.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

tipsy’s top shows of 2017

hi! since homestuck’s over i’ve been exploring a lot of stuff, old and new, and ho boy there’s LOTS to talk about so, with what in some areas was very difficult ranking, here’s a list of my favourite cartoons! er, some of them arent actually from 2017, i just watched them this year.

1. adventure time. it’s adventure time, it was already amazing, but this year marks its comeback into my heart. what surprised me is how... honest it became since the start of season 8. like, characters would actually have meaningful emotional scenes with buildup instead of just shrugging it off  to be Fake Deep like before. and the thing is that when you have sincere moments, it makes the comedy that much better. Best episode: Three Buckets, the funniest and most tragic episode of the year.

2. Pokemon: sun and moon. now i’m not going to pretend the pokemon cartoon is great. i’m not even going to pretend it’s good. but sun and moon... there’s just something about this show that snuck into my heart. the wacky expressions, the nice animation, the actually friendly school environment where they got to do cool things and there are no bullies thank god. and while i initially watched waiting for it to do something cool like the games, i grew to appreciate it for what it is. Best Episode: Lillie, take good care of Pikachu! (ENG: The Ol’ Raise and Switch!), a really cute concept turned into a genuinely emotional development. 3. OK, K.O.! cartoon network’s newest big IP. i’m not straight up addicted to it like adventure time but it puts a smile on my face nearly every time, with its visual humor and unique art style. it helps that K.O. was originally voiced by Stephanie Naldony, who is Son Goku and Son Gohan in the original Dragonball dubs. i think the main trio of this series works well, their personalities clashing nicely, and their mentor relationship with mr gar is just.... i love it, okay? the big flaw here though is when they try to do an ep without K.O. in, it just seems to fall flat. anyway it’s hard to decide but Best Episode: Second First Date, cutesy flashbacks with a realistic and sweet modern development.

4. Mob Psycho 100! Mob! Mob! What do you want? Mob! Mob! What do you want? Mob! Mob! What do you want? Move, move JUST LIKE MOB!  anyway i loved this because it’s one of the few shows where the protagonist is actually the best character. if you’ve seen MP100, you’ll understand the timebomb scenario where Mob has a mental breakdown when he reaches 100 and unleashes an unpredictable psychic storm... but ANYTHING can happen... and the season finale blew me out of the water. nice characters, nice developments, best anime. Favourite episode: Mob and Reigen, the greatest payoff to a running gag I’ve ever seen. 

5. My Hero Academia. this one I finished watching just this weekend, so it’s all new to me, but... while season 1 turned me off because of deku’s constant whinging and pathetically unsympathetic backstory, season 2 with is focus on the other classmates made for an exciting story. there’s some cast members who are always going to make your life hell (cough grapehead cough) but i no longer feel like taking the piss out of it for being melodramatic. Best Episode:  Hero Killer: Stain vs U.A. Students, which was really nice buildup to the following ep suitably named “climax”, and showed off just how more skilled the characters are getting.

6. Kill La Kill. i don’t... remember if i actually watched it this year (probably watched it last year since i was making jokes about lusamine being a toned down ragyo?), but i’m listing it here anyway. what i disliked about KLK was how lewd it was, and i was made quite uncomfortable by the fucking pedophilia in episode 16, but this action romp is a blast with plenty of comedy and an interesting story that makes you think about the relationships we have both to each other and to social conventions like clothing. Anyway, pure adrenaline. Best episode: the one where ryuko and satsuki fight in the huge school war, i cant remember what its called. 

7. Steven Universe. it’s... not that SU is bad by any counts, this just has been a terrible year for the show. i’d argue SU has grown staler now than season 6 of AT was back in 2015, which is sad cos SU only started airing in late 2013. back in 2015 during the AT slump SU would have easily topped this list!!! anyway it continues to be a very charming show with WONDERFUL music, but it’s wasting away its characters and constantly stalling, and since nothing interesting or particularly funny happens, nobody tunes in. SU needs to develop more emotional range rather than banging in the same plot points again and again. Best Episode: The Trial, a refreshing, humorous, and mysterious change of pace after constant stagnation.

8. One Punch Man. yeah this show aired a few years ago. it marks the bottom of my 2015 shows list because, outside of its silly fun... there’s nothing to OPM? it’s just silly fun with a bit of nudity or whatever, and the same running gag. I’m going to be honest, i got really bored and wanted to leave the stream about halfway through. i do enjoy the action though especially when OPM flips. but i thik Mob Psycho 100 is a superior alternative that uses the same premise far more flexibly, and therefore more entertainingly. OPM is pretty generic. Best Episode: any ep with the biker guy in. he is the best character

EDIIIIT: Honorable Mention: Star vs the Forces of Evil! i... forgot that i watched this show. i’d rank it 6th, barely above KLK. while i can’t point out any outstanding quality about Star, it’s a cute and entertaining show. i haven’t watched any of season 3 though and have heard Mixed Reviews which is why i can’t place it any higher. best episode: ludo vs the eagle and spider

anyway that’s it for now! i’m not keeping up on any other shows.

[i-may-have-a-point]

Review of 14x03 “Go Big or Go Home”

“She’s still grumpy, huh?”  If you read my season 13 reviews, you know that I often criticized who Meredith had become, or more accurately, who the writers had written her to be.  Meredith, at her core, is dark and twisty, but in earlier seasons she still had basic kindness.  Seasons 12 and 13 Meredith did not.  She was bitter, snarky, and unrelatable.  Season 14 Meredith has, so far, been written much better.  And even though she spent most of this episode being angry, it was written in a way that was human.  She acknowledged her anger and dealt with it instead of just being nasty to everyone in her path.  This is a huge improvement in the writing for Meredith, in my opinion.  And since they are letting Meredith acknowledge and deal with her emotions, it makes sense that her patient would also be her therapist. Kill two birds with one stone, right?   This way Meredith can practice medicine and process her feelings.  I would have appreciated the “I am done with triangles,” line if the first major promo of the season hadn’t been solely about love triangles.  Instead, it just made me yell at my TV.  The blood clot that the psychiatrist has represents Meredith’s inability to tell Nathan how she feels.  His heart is blocked.  Her heart is blocked.  Until it isn’t and Meredith’s feelings spill out.  “You don’t have to lie.  You have to fight.  Show her that you love her.  Remind her of why she fell in love with you.  Make her see that she is your first and only choice.  Please don’t blow this.”  Not one line of that was about Megan.  

Speaking of Megan, she looks rougher recovering from surgery than she did after being held captive for ten years.

Benley – Once again, I am 100% here for them being the side couple who are happy to rub each other’s feet in a cute little scene but not be a prominent storyline.  Side note – Do Benley have a foot fetish?  Last week it was the shoes, and in every bedroom scene he is rubbing her feet.  I mean, whatever works.  I’m just wondering…

Arizona and Carina – They are having great sex, guys.  They really want us to know that.  Better than Eliza sex. Skilled sex.  Incredible sex. And good for Arizona.  Go on girl, get yours.  But…I’m not invested in them yet.  I want to hear about great sex with a couple I am rooting for.  I need more from this to fully jump on board this ship.  

Webber – I don’t think I mentioned this last week, but I am happy to see Webber back as the wise old sage.

Jolex – Yay for kissing in the elevator.  And the parking lot. And Alex moving back home. Like I said last week, I love happy Jolex, but I can’t help but wonder when the other shoe will drop.

Maluca – I was a Maluca shipper before we wanted Maggie as far away from Jackson as possible.  I said last week that I thought we should watch these two because of Carina telling Maggie that Andrew thinks she’s beautiful and Maggie clearly reacting to it.  And in this episode, they have two scenes together, one entirely discussing their relationship that leads to, like last week, Maggie calling Webber her father.  Plus, in the promo for next week, they are standing next to one another in Amelia’s room. Nothing is completely clear yet, but I still say that this may be something.  

Amelia – Caterina is playing this story well.  Amelia questioning every decision she has ever made over the last several years is heartbreaking.  And can I just applaud the writers for moving this story along?  If this story had happened last season, no one would have found out about her tumor for at least eight episodes.  I cannot be more thankful for continuity and movement this season.  My favorite scene was when Owen realized he was looking at Amelia’s scans.  Owen moving from anger to realization to pain in seconds was captured perfectly.

 Maggie/Jackson – I didn’t watch live so when I saw the tweets about Maggie touching Jackson I thought it was much bigger than what it was.  There was no ambiguity in their looks.  They looked uncomfortable, and he looked mildly annoyed.  I have a guy at my work who hugs me without asking.  I give him the same look that Jackson gave Maggie.  There was no flirtation, sexual tension, or spark.  Just awkwardness.  The writers had to do something with this story because it was brought up in the finale, so they decided to try and make it funny.  We know it is failing, and I think they do, too, whether they admit it or not.  But I see why they went this route.  It’s all part of fixing what was broken with the writing.  The way they are “fixing” the writing issues of last season are all pretty clear: make a joke out of it (Jackson/Maggie), a brain tumor (Omelia), pretend it didn’t happen (Jolex), or correct major writing flaws (Griggs).  I think that because there is such a reaction to this story, the writers thought they could bank on that and use it for comedy. They were wrong, but I see the thinking behind the decision.

Harper Avery/Jackson/April – The ONLY reason Harper Avery is in this episode is to say what he said to Jackson. He says he is there to discuss some issues he has with how the hospital has spent money, but all of that is glossed over and the focus is only on the message Harper has for Jackson.  Think about it.  They could have killed Harper off screen, and just told Jackson and been done with it. Instead, they purposely chose to bring him on screen and let us watch him call April Jackson’s wife and tell Jackson that he is like his father.  And, I know this is controversial, but I partially agree with Harper on this.  April should not have gone to Jordan the second time, but I don’t see her going as a reason for divorce.  You divorce someone because they are mean, violent, a terrible person, or they cheat.  You don’t divorce someone who is mentally broken over the loss of their child.  She absolutely hurt him, but he used that as his way out.  Whether Jackson wants to admit it or not, Robert taught him that when things are tough, you leave.  And he did. Yes, he is still there physically (for now?)  but he still walked away.  (I am ready for the messages telling me I am wrong on that point.  Go ahead.  But I will always believe Jackson has some Robert Avery inside of him.) If I am right, Jackson’s journey this season began with finding and confronting his dad last season.  He thought he needed to do that to deal with and close the trust and abandonment issues he has in his life, but I would argue that seeing Robert just ripped the hole inside him wide open.  Finding his father after just becoming a father has sent Jackson on a journey to figure out what being an Avery means to him.  Is he like Harper who seems cold, distant, and unfeeling but has unparalleled business sense and values family?  Is he like Robert who always felt not quite good enough to carry the Avery name and decided it was easier on the Averys, his wife, and his child if he was no longer a part of the picture?  Or is he someone else entirely?  Does he have the ability to be a strong business man and a strong family man?  I think Jackson will find out this season who he is as an Avery and what is ultimately important to him.  He is still under the shadow of his father and grandfather, but Harper’s death will change that.  We will either see a reappearance of Robert trying to step back in or Jackson stepping up and doing things his way.  If I am right, I think this is the perfect story for Jackson, and this journey is necessary for him to be able to have a meaningful, lasting relationship.

We have been told April has a complicated journey this season.  I think this journey started with April telling Jackson she was in pain last week and is a little clearer this week.  I think April’s journey is a mental health journey.  I am not saying April is crazy.  Far from it.  However, she has been through multiple deep traumas, and she hasn’t fully dealt with any of them.  Speaking up for what SHE needed last week was the first time, maybe ever, that we have seen April make a decision with her best interests above everyone else’s. This doesn’t mean she does not love Jackson anymore or wants to move on.  She clearly still loves him.  But for once, she is taking care of herself.  Good for her, because like Jackson’s journey, she has to fix what she is dealing with before she can be in a meaningful, lasting relationship.  This episode, in a way, walked the audience and April back through many of her traumas.  The brought up several of the major things April has dealt with over the years for a reason.  They are reminding us what she has been through and what she still needs to deal with. We see that April is hurting from the beginning when she is (as always) a supportive friend to Arizona, even though it hurts.  April has been a shoulder to lean on for many of the other characters, yet she hasn’t had one in return.  Jackson is the only confidant and support she has had, but she cannot lean on him right now. The Nicole Herman mention is used as a part of Ameila’s story, but we can’t hear that name and not flash back in our minds to April and Jackson holding their dying son in that dimly lit hospital room.  The Matthew flash-mob proposal mention hints at another moment that April has to be still dealing with mentally.  In no way do I think she regrets marrying Jackson, but leaving Matthew, who whether you like him or not is a good man, went against everything she believes and tested her moral compass.  (Side note: I saw all the tweets praying that Matthew doesn’t come back.  You might see him again.  Don’t make it more than what it is.  Closure for April.)  I think at this point April is questioning herself, her choices, her actions, and everything she believes.  Because “No matter how many vows you make, you still end up in a new apartment and don’t see your kid half the time.”  April believed in promises and vows and happily ever afters.  But did any of that work out for her?  Is that her fault?  And where does she go next?  In the end, the camera focuses on April as the voiceover asks, “How do we save lives when ours may be falling apart?”  And that is exactly how April feels right now.  Her life has fallen apart.  And what is she supposed to do about it?

Jackson and April’s journeys, if I am right, are tough this season, and I think we will see them mostly face their obstacles alone.  Because they need to.  Jackson needs to learn how to trust, and April needs to make herself happy before they can come back together.  Otherwise, they will have the same problems and end up right back where they are.  For those of you that think they are done, go back and look at the scenes they were in.  Japril is the underlying message, the elephant in the room, the unspoken word in most, if not all of them.  Harper Avery’s dying message to Jackson was to bring his WIFE and CHILD to dinner and not to be like his father.  That line is completely unnecessary to a Jackson storyline that is only about HAF and does not involve April.  April easily could have helped those sixteen-year-olds go to the dance without relating it to her personal story.  Sarah plays comedy well and those scenes could have been written that way if her storyline is not going to involve Jackson, but they weren’t.  I see everyone’s frustration, and I get it. However, I THINK we may be at the beginning of a beautiful story of Jackson and April finding themselves, and then each other, if we are patient enough to wait for it.

[auiyoncesmind]

Look, I know I said I was going to have to take a break from this site to focus on school or whatever, but since Gotham’s final episode is on tonight, I felt as though I wanted to get all of this off my chest. This may or may not be pretty long, so all of my thoughts are under the cut.

Gotham is pretty much the reason why I joined the DC fandom in the first place. It may seem pretty hard to believe, but it’s most definitely true.

I was watching Shameless at the time (as I’m sure a lot of people who joined the fandom at the time were as well), and about a week or so before Cameron’s first episode came on, I saw vids/gifs of what he looked like on the show, and it looked creepy as shit to me (almost like I’m watching a live-action version of the goddamn Chucky doll or something), so then I was like, “okay, maybe I’ll catch this episode and see what’s going on.” Mind you, I didn’t know much about Gotham (the city or the show) at the time I started watching this episode; the most I knew about DC back then were some of the household names like Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, etc. Then I found out that Selina, Oswald, and Edward were on the show, which was pretty interesting, but judging by the way the show looked in the first season, I thought it wasn’t going to be a thing that I was going to stick with long term.

Boy, I was so fucking wrong.

[Spoilers if you haven’t seen 1x16 I guess, though it’s been out for years so idk wtf you’re doing if you haven’t] I remember seeing Jim and Lee towards the beginning of the episode being all cute and stuff, and idk how, but Lee just became my favorite character from there, because she was just a huge ray of sunshine with lots of kindness in her heart and everything, and all she wanted was to do cute couple things with Jim or whatever, and she’s very smart/intelligent and all of that. I think about all of the screen time she’s had since then and wonder why people still hate on this woman, because she’s not right all the time, but she shouldn’t be burned at the stake compared to some of these other characters (literally the villains are running this town, so it’s crazy to even think about).

Anyways, my Lee Thompkins appreciation rant aside, they brought up Dick Grayson’s parents (the dude wasn’t even born yet in the universe, and I thought about Dick and Bruce meeting at some point later on, only to realize that it probably won’t even happen), Fish Mooney trying to escape that prison she was in for most of the episode, Jerome killing his mother, etc., and all of this made me wonder what happened next. Obviously, Cameron wasn’t in anymore episodes after that one, but I still wanted to check out the other stuff going on in Gotham because it seemed genuinely interesting at the time. Sometime during the hiatus between season 1 and season 2, I caught up with the entire show to check out the main plot of the first season, holding on to some of the highlights of the season (e.g. Edward going mad towards the end, Barbara getting hypnotized by The Ogre, Selina and Ivy hanging out in Barbara’s apartment, the whole mob plot, etc.) until the next one came on. By then, I was hyped for the show and tuned in for every episode, and it’s been that way ever since. I found myself loving more things about it that previous episodes didn’t have (e.g. Tabitha Galavan, Hugo Strange, the Maniacs breaking out of Gotham, more mad Edward Nygma, etc.), and it instantly became one of my top favorite shows.

Some of that joy and happiness may have gone away with new episodes, whether it be because of the writing or the lack of suspense or whatever with some of the plots or the lack of interest in others, but I still kept going because I learned more about the DC universe through that show than I ever would have expected. Every time I heard a name drop on the show or a reference to a comic book story that I was interested in, I would look up some of that stuff online and get more information on it. Gotham, in a way, got me into watching the DCEU as well, especially with all the fan edits I saw going around on here and on Vine when it was still active. Around the show’s second season, I found out that one of my favorite actresses (Viola Davis) was gonna be in Suicide Squad, which had some familiar characters in it that I recognized as I continued my journey with Gotham (namely Joker and Harley), so I ended up watching it in theaters. The movie came out at around such a difficult time for me. I had lost my great grandmother a couple of weeks before its official release, and while things didn’t get much better after watching that particular film (my mental health was so fucked up to the point where my GPA dropped significantly that fall), I appreciated what that film gave me, despite flaws in the script and the ways in which people were talking about it online.

That following year, Wonder Woman came out. I wasn’t sure what I expected, really, because I didn’t watch that many trailers at the time, so I went in with literally no expectations, yet I came out with it being one of my favorite solo comic book movies ever. Then I found out that she was gonna be in Justice League and ended up watching it, too (though I didn’t know too much about the behind-the-scenes stuff at the time; all I knew in relation to that was the Henry Cavill face debacle, and tbh, that was one of the things about that movie that made me cringe). And then after that, I watched Batman v Superman and Man of Steel on my own time before I started glancing over some other DC-related media. I even caught a couple of episodes of some other DCTV shows (e.g. Supergirl and The Flash). This is what I mean when I say that Gotham got me here in the first place, and honestly? I haven’t been more grateful. I’m typing all of this as I’m wearing one of the Shazam shirts that I got from my school, just reminiscing on all the experiences I have shared with so many wonderful people in the DC fandom, which wouldn’t have been possible had I not tuned into that one episode of Gotham in 2015. So to know that this show’s series finale is right around the corner is a bittersweet feeling — but mostly bitter, because it ended under unfortunate circumstances and that I’ll never see all of these cast members together again.

It didn’t hit me for weeks leading up to this moment, too. Like, I was upset that the show got cancelled, but I wasn’t very emotional or anything just yet. And then Camren made that one Twitter post saying that 5x11 was her last appearance on the show. I was literally out in public reading all of the heartfelt words she put into her post, and I remember feeling like I was gonna cry in front of everyone. It was slightly embarrassing because I hate crying in public, but if we’re being honest, I didn’t give a shit. I’ve spent so much time dedicating at least an hour a day to a show I’ll never get to see again after April 25th, and that shit hurts me, you know? I’m sure we’ve all felt something like that when one of our favorite shows ended (and you’re probably coming up with a list of names as we speak). No matter what the circumstances are, we’re all mourning the loss of a show that meant so much to us at one point in life or another. Once upon a time, I didn’t think Gotham would be one of those shows, and yet here we are, and I am forever grateful for what the writers, the directors, the cast, and the rest of the crew has given its small little nest of DC/Batman fans.

With that being said, I want to thank everyone who was directly involved with this show and put hours upon hours of labor into creating something unique and interesting for new comic book fans. I want to thank the writers and directors for bringing so many wonderful DC characters to life. I want to thank all of the supporting / guest cast members, regardless of how much screentime you had while you were on this show. I want to thank Chris Chalk, Morena Baccarin, Jessica Lucas, Erin Richards, Cameron Monaghan, Sean Pertwee, Donal Logue, Robin Lord Taylor, Cory Michael Smith, Camren Bicondova, Ben McKenzie, David Mazouz, etc. for being probably one of the best TV show main casts a fan could ever ask for, as well as some of my favorite portrayals of your respective characters. I want to thank all of the wonderful people whom I’ve met on this wonderful journey throughout the past five seasons. Overall, I want to thank this show for everything it’s introduced me to within the DC universe. Your legacy within the DCTV universe will not be forgotten.

[parthzlife]

@gloomybluebella  Okay, here’s the deal.  

First of all, just a disclaimer: I’m not doing this to be a desperate attention seeker and fully expect this to make up for me annoying you and Sammy so much earlier. If she doesn’t feel like talking to me, it’s fine. Just try to keep in mind the gist of what I’m about to say as best as possible, that’s all. 

So why did I suddenly drop everything and vamoose out of the Internet land for a minute there? Well, I don’t really have a straightforward answer to that question, but for the sake of being concise, I’m gonna try and condense this down as much as possible, so, here we go. 

My short answer to that is that I was REALLY unhappy. And by that, I mean something much more profound that the normal melancholy that we all get from time to time. 

So going right off the bat, this whole thing started around late May/early June of 2017. I came across some plush videos on YouTube starring Peach Daisy and Rosalina, and decided I’d have a look at them. And things seemed fine, at first, but then things changed when I saw that they hadn’t uploaded in almost a year, and that, in the comments, some people were begging them for more videos and calling them “the best videos ever”. Which concerned me, to say the least.

A short time after that, I realized there were a lot more people on YouTube uploading the same sort of things, and so I decided to watch those, hoping that it would solve the problem and that there’d be nothing else to it. But, lo and behold, it did not work. Over the next month or so, I started having similar issues with other people on YouTube, G+, and DeviantArt, and I began to feel a nagging feeling that something just wasn’t right. This feeling slowly, but surely, persisted over the next 4-5 months, and, needless to say, I didn’t want to admit that there was even a problem. 

Around Halloween of 2017 is when it all came to a hit for me. I was constantly dealing with trolls and angry rants on a regular basis, a lot of people (particularly Princess Peach RPers) were manipulating me for attention, and a lot of the comments I was seeing on G+ were just filled with cringey Princess Peach fanboys who acted like people had no life outside of RPing. Not to mention, I was also struggling with my classes at school, which disrupted my ability to function normally during that time, and well into the holiday season. That was the last straw for me. After that, I felt like I had no foundation, and I just felt....completely lost. At this point, one could reasonably categorize what I was experiencing as depression. I had trouble concentrating on things, my hobbies and interests were no longer fun for me, and my body was constantly pumping out adrenaline and cortisol from being in a constant state of stress. It was a pretty devastating and awful place to be at in my life, and it did not stop. 

I took a break in December, and made it a point that I would try and use any means necessary to distract my self, as much as possible, to avoid it altogether; and manage my responsibilities in a way that was well-suited for me. And it worked, for about the first 6-7 months of 2018. But around July or August last year, something else came up. I was feeling overwhelmed from juggling multiple responsibilities, and having trouble maintaining a consistent schedule. And because of that, some of the same issues I was having earlier began to resurface as a result of me being unmotivated (e.g. people spamming lewds and constantly complaining about stuff). Eventually, I noticed that Sammy was uploading content, and, partly because I hadn’t seen her upload anything since the first few months of 2018, I was missing a lot of the sights and content I was visiting earlier. So I decided that, maybe, browsing her content and occasionally commenting once a week (maybe even less than that depending on if and what she was posting) would help take my mind off of things. And true, she has depression and her interests and mine aren’t exactly the same. However, I didn’t necessarily want to dismiss it completely, because, I like to think I’m open to all possibilities, and tbf, at the time, I was really ready to just be done with the whole thing. So there’s that.

Around late February/early March this year, things finally did start improving (for real, this time). However, there was still sorta one problem which I hadn’t addressed yet. And after a lot of self-reflection, I can honestly say this is most likely what started this vicious cycle in the first place. So like I was saying, people were manipulating me and their followers for attention, and when that happened, a lot of their “fans” would almost automatically jump on this bandwagon of getting negative and assuming things without having an original opinion or understanding what’s going on (e.g. “Don’t leave! We still care about you!”, “Ignore the haters!”, “Where are you? Please come back! It’s been too long!”, *cries*, 😭, “For the last time, Waluigi doesn’t deserve to be playable in Smash! How many times do I have to keep repeating myself?”, etc.). Basically, I ended up falling into that mob mentality, and I think that’s really why I got so carried away with wanting to make sure Sammy was okay, but not really stopping to consider if I was going about things the right way or not. 

As soon as I finally took that to heart, I knew that a decision had to be made, and that I could no longer dodge it. My parents pulled me aside and asked me what was up. I hadn’t really talked about it with anyone, because it wasn’t really something that could be resolved just by getting advice from a friend or loved one, and I was just too uncomfortable to talk about it with anyone. But I reluctantly agreed, and I told them exactly what was going on. They basically said something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s okay, everyone goes through a rough patch from time to time, you always have options, and you don’t have to let these things cause you distress.”. 

So after that, I started forcing myself to talk to friends I’d known for years. I began having casual small talk with them and had some discussions about how things were going with them, and that was really special to me, too. But the first 2 weeks were ROUGH, to say the least. It was incredibly difficult to take my mind off of the stressful situation I was dealing with, or even focus on the things I enjoyed at the time. I didn’t want to look at my YouTube notifications anymore. I didn’t even want to look at Tumblr or Instagram, or even anything Mario-related anymore. But I sort of knew that was coming, and so I just braced myself for 2 weeks. I knew I wasn’t gonna instantly find relief, and that it was gonna take time, so I just sort of dealt with it, and that was that. 

But after 2 weeks of talking with people about how I was feeling, contemplating my options, and later actually finding value in my life again, I just started to feel better. By the third week, I no longer felt completely stressed all the time, and I was able to relax and actually laugh, and enjoy time with my family and friends, and I didn’t feel depressed anymore. 

Which brings us to now. After some more discussion with my family about how I was feeling, and realizing that I could be happy just by avoiding certain things that I knew were emotionally stressful for me, I finally started having urges to be creative and pursue my normal interests again. And that’s where I’m at, now. 

I wanna also mention that, deep down, I’m actually a really open-minded person at heart. Yes, there have been times when I’ve felt sad because people disagree with me or people whose content I enjoy don’t upload for a long time. However, despite what my past actions might suggest, it’s not all that I think about 24/7, and it still doesn’t rule my entire life. If you prefer to focus on school/work, or if you wanna show love for Waluigi, post silly yet inaccurate memes, or express your LGBT pride, then, more power to you, go for it. What bugs me is when people just constantly spread negativity to the point of overkill, and in turn, cause other people distress and anxiety. Especially when it shows that they can’t think for themselves. So that’s that. 

And that’s pretty much it. I’m active again, and I’m happy to feel creative again. Sorry that this was too long, I just really wanted to get this out and explain how I was feeling. And, if nothing else, I hope this at least cleared things up a little bit. So with that, I’m gonna end this post. Again, I just hope this was a bit helpful. 

[flirting-with-psychology]

1. How often is it that you make a post on any sort of social media, and then delete it soon after? Why? Hardly ever. Sometimes I’ll delete it halfway through if I can’t make it sound as good as it did in my head though 2. Have your ideas and expectations about adulthood changed as you’ve gotten older? Yes, I thought I would feel more adulty and know what the fuck I’m doing. Also, I always thought I would move to a different state because that’s what my parents did but I like my state and idk where I would move to  3. Have you ever taken time off to focus on your mental health? Are you the type of person that is able to take a break or are you more likely to bury yourself in responsibility? No I haven’t. I do take breaks throughout the day but a long time of having no structure would drive me crazy. Usually my limit is about the length of summer break, by the end I’m bored 4. Do you enjoy keeping track of, rating, and reviewing the media you consume? No

5. Are you constantly on the lookout for new movies to watch and books to read or do you tend to just wait for something to pique your interest? I wait for it to pique my interest since I already have a huge list

6. Do you have a different group of friends on a site besides this one? I have a kik chat of people in the choices fandom but I heard about it through tumblr 7. If you are or were in college, when you share your major with people how do they usually react? If you are not in college, how do you explain your job situation to others and what is their reaction? I majored in film and psychology and they always think it’s an interesting combination 8. If you are or were in college, do you find that you have many things in common with others who share your major or not? If you are not in college, have you ever made friendships with people at your job who are not coworkers (e.g., clients or customers)? I actually wanted to distance myself from a lot of film majors because they were all into experimental crap and thought everything mainstream was stupid 9. When you watch competition shows, do you feel an automatic support for a competitor who’s from your state or region? Yeah 10. Do you ever fantasize about saving the day or being a hero (e.g., you are near some children playing by a river. You imagine one falling in and you saving them)? Not particularly 11. Which season do you enjoy dressing for the most and why? Summer because I’ve got a lot of variety in dresses and tops, whereas if I have to wear a coat it covers it up and is annoying 12. If you are familiar with any science fiction, what sort of science fiction future do you think is most likely to actually happen? Feel free to predict without the impact of existing sci-fi, too. Probably none of the above 13. Do you think it is possible that eventually humans will create enough technology to completely or nearly completely automate work and free up people to a new experience of social relations without “jobs” as we know them today? That’s an interesting thought

14. Do you find yourself becoming more afraid of unlikely situations when they are broadcast by the media? For example, are you more afraid of going to the movie theater after the recent shootings, or are you more afraid of contracting a rare illness if the news highlights an outbreak? A little bit

15. Do you enjoy taking selfies and do you enjoy looking at other people’s selfies? I do take some but I’m not crazy with it. and I don’t care too much about other people’s 16. First, list a few of your negative personality traits. Second, when you notice others displaying these traits are you more likely to be understanding and forgiving because you can relate? I’m bad at talking to people, I’m a procrastinator, I overthink things. For some of them I am understanding because it’s relatable, but for some minor ones like talking in a weird way or being awkward it makes me want to distance myself from people who share those traits 17. Are there any songs that you enjoy, but the lyrics are problematic/downright offensive? What about films with shady directors or plot points? How do you negotiate liking art or artists that represent offensive ideas or that have problematic politics? I do. I think that nothing is perfect and negative points don’t negate positive ones. So you can still like the thing. I also think that I can appreciate art even if I don’t agree with the artist because I separate it. But I also maybe support things too much that maybe I shouldn’t, like still enjoying Johnny Depp movies and finding him attractive. I don’t know if it’s ok to and I feel a little guilty for not caring enough to stop liking him. But even a person with bad qualities isn’t an entirely bad person 18. Have you ever used a dating app? What was your experience like? If not, what is your impression of them? Yes, but most of the time I don’t find anyone I’m interested in. It’s hard to feel chemistry in that context 19. When it comes to politics, what is your opinion about voting for the “lesser of two evils”? Would you rather vote for someone you hate less (between 2 main parties), someone you truly believe in but who won’t win (3rd party), or abstain from voting altogether? Lesser of two evils I guess, because it’s a two party system and I know in this day in age no independent candidate is going to win  20. If you are in school, do you tend to take a lot of similar classes or classes on the same topic even if it’s not necessary for your major? I kind of took a variety 21. What is your opinion on protest marches? What about different tactics taken by activists such as boycotts, shutting down highways, sit-ins, and even blockades of trade ships? What do you think is the best method to actually enact change? I don’t really participate. I don’t have a strong opinion. I think it depends on the context. I think that the way tumblr boycotts certain media that they find problematic is annoying because telling people not to watch it also doesn’t allow them to make an informed opinion about it 22. Do you believe in parallel universes or infinite possibilities or do you tend to believe that what we see and know now is pretty much it? I'm not sure. I would need more evidence of parallel universes in order to believe it 23. When you think about your past are you more likely to have a rose-colored view and remember happy and nostalgic moments and kind of forget about the bad or is the opposite? Rose colored view 24. When online shopping do you tend to leave your cart full for days or even weeks waiting for a good sale or coupon, or do you generally buy what you want at that moment? Buy what I want at the moment 25. Have you ever had a specific moment when you were extremely glad you are not a celebrity or when you were relieved to be a nobody (e.g., when some dirt on you was exposed or you acted obscenely in public)? Yes, because you can go places without being mobbed

[deepestenthusiastmilkshake]

My First My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Review

Yes, the title gave the surprise away: I am a brony. I watch a show that was aimed at little girls, but has grown into something much greater. And I am proud of it. Proud to watch a show that has changed the lives of many people, including myself. Proud to be a part of a great fandom that has endured through all adversity. And above all else, proud to be as straight as can be, so I can prove all Anti-Bronies wrong. I joined the fandom sometime before Season 4 aired and have finally built up the courage to try reviewing. I’m not going to review the show as a whole, because Friendship is Magic doesn’t have a long story arc the way Transformers does and it would be too difficult to talk about all the ways this show is awesome. I could write a whole book if I wanted to do that. Plus, there are a lot of specific episodes that I want to focus on, and I can’t do that if I review the series as a whole. Instead, I’m going to talk about my favorite character centric episodes. What that means is that I’m going to review all of the episodes that focus on a specific character, be it that is demonstrates their best selves or bring out the best selves of others, which I find to be the most enjoyable. I’ll be doing this for every main and secondary character, so buckle up get ready for the ride.

I was going to start this review off with my favorite Twilight Sparkle episode, but recent events have forced my opinion to change. So instead, I’m going to go through the list in the same pattern that all of the Mane Six got their keys in Season 4, saving Twilight for last. And that means I’m going to start this off with Rarity.

Rarity was a character in the show, that I didn’t have that high expectations for when I started watching MLP. I’ve seen thousands of characters that are focused on beauty and fashion across dozens of shows, cartoons or otherwise, and they always drive me nuts!! They’re either vain, selfish, stupid, or evil, and I got really tired of that kind of character really quickly. That sends the kind of message that says that that’s the wrong way to be a girl, and that’s a very toxic message. But Rarity was very, very different. She’s friendly, fun to watch, funny, considerate, and above all else, she never looked down on anyone because of their appearance. She may have been a little passive aggressive at times, but she never saw anyone as anything short of worthwhile. She’s a prime example of how the show takes tropes and cliches and subverts the audience’s expectations.

Having said all this, you might think she’s my favorite character. Well, not really. I do love and appreciate her, but I don’t necessarily relate with her the way I do with Applejack or Twilight. Also, there are aspects of Rarity I don’t enjoy. Such as how she flirts with stallions to get her way. My problem isn’t with the flirting in particular; flirting has been used to create and maintain strong relationships both in and out of the workplace. My problem with this lies in the fact that whenever Rarity does it, it’s for her own benefit and not the benefit of both herself and the stallions she flirts with. That’s how flirting should be used in the real world: to benefit both parties, not just yourself. I don’t see that with Rarity. Whenever she does it, it not only benefits just her, it can also lead to the detriment of the stallion she flirts with. But then again, that’s one reason why I fell in love with this show: the characters have flaws. They’re not perfect, and that makes for much more dynamic characters and leads to some interesting stories. And besides, that is just one aspect of her, and not her whole character, and it doesn’t take away from an all around awesome mare and awesome character.

Figuring out my favorite Rarity episode was pretty difficult. Simply because, Rarity hasn’t had an episode that I can call bad. All of her episodes are episodes I enjoy, some of which are my favorite of all time. Now, she’s been in some episodes that I can call bad, such as Cart Before the Ponies, Mare do Well, and Putting Your Hoof Down, but the focus wasn’t on her. Whenever the focus has been on Rarity, it rarely fails to entertain me. And after long hours of soul searching and deciding (and flipping coins) I have finally decided that my favorite Rarity episode is….

The Saddle Row Review!

This episode feels like kind of a cheat considering my character centric rule, and this episode focuses on the Mane Six as a whole. However, the events that take place here are based on Rarity’s development and it demonstrates how she can bring about the best in others, so I’m counting it.

And besides, I can’t help it: this episode is amazing, and is one of my top three episodes of season six. The humor is great, the story is told in an interesting way, the characters (both old and new) are great, the animation is great, everything about this episode is just phenomenal. But enough prattle, LET’S DO THIS!

This episode is about Rarity opening up her new boutique in Manehattan. This was touched upon in Gift of Maud Pie, and now it’s being expanded upon. Didn’t expect it this soon, but I can roll with it. The place Rarity bought for the boutique is in shambles, but with the help of her friends, Rarity pulls through and opens, what some of the customers call, one of the best boutiques in history.

From that description, the episode probably doesn’t sound all that interesting. Cliche even. However, how it’s told and what goes on during it really makes this episode shine.

This episode is really unique compared to others because it is told through not one, but two framing devices, that make for some excellent humor. More into the humor later, but let’s talk about the framing devices. The events that happened in this episode already happened and the Mane Six are reading about them through an article in the Manehattan newspaper. That, on its own, probably wouldn’t make this episode as memorable as it is. However, that’s not where it stops. While the interview is shown as a flashback, the ponies being interviewed narrate the events to the articles writer (who looks a lot like J. Jonah Jameson for some reason) in a Manehattan diner.

That is a really unique and creative way to tell the story, especially for this kind of show. The way the scenes transition from one to another leads to some very clever humor, be it background gags from the setting, or one character saying something happened, and then the opposite happens. And what makes this so great is just how clever each joke is. You can probably see where they’re going to go with each one, but that doesn’t make them any less funny. For example, there’s one joke where Twilight starts singing a dance remix about sweeping, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack tease her about this when they’re being interviewed, however the scene then cuts to them singing along with her and enjoying it. The timing on each joke is great. The episode doesn’t spend too much time on one joke in the hopes that you get it. They move at such a rapid fire pace and just expect you to get it. That’s not that far off from Over a Barrel in season one, which is always welcomed.

But then again, I really shouldn’t use humor as a selling point for an episode, as humor is subjective. Fortunately, humor is not the only thing that makes this episode succeed. There’s also the moral. At first, one might think it’s another, friends are always there to help you kind of tale, but we already got that from Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 and Applebuck Season. While that lesson is there, the deeper moral here is that when a friend asks you to help them, you shouldn’t think about how they might want you to handle it. Instead, you should handle it the way you would handle it, because that’s why the friend asked you for help in the beginning. That’s a really unique moral, that I haven’t seen in a lot of cartoons. It’s easy to think about how someone would want you to do something, but when you were given a task, it’s not because that person trusts you to do it the way they would do it, it’s because you know how to handle it best, in your own special way. And I really love this moral. It stresses individuality instead of mob mentality and that is always appreciated.

The characters were also great as well. Each of the main characters had a chance to shine and show their best, and the secondary characters provided some great humor as well, such as Coco being sick and Plaid Stripes spoon clothing thing.

But that also leads to the only problem I really had with this episode: Spike wasn’t here. Given how much he cares about Rarity, I find it odd that he wasn’t around to help her when she needed it. However, that’s my only gripe in what is otherwise a fantastic episode.

So, all in all, The Saddle Row Review is definitely my favorite Rarity episode, and all around one of my favorite episodes of the series. It was funny, it was thought compelling, it was a joy to look at, all the characters were great, and it was just a lot of fun. Definite recommendation from this guy.

The Saddle Row Review: 9/10

Hope you enjoyed this review and join me next time for when I review my favorite Rainbow Dash episode. I’m the Reviewer With No Name, and I’ll see you next time.