#and the idea of her being so detailed makes me so curious from a design standpoint like. why would a little girl want her

[svankmajerbaby]

im so curious about that m3gan movie. of course i love the inherent uncanniness of dolls used to maximum creepy effect and especially when it applies to some sort of commentary of the way we depict and conceptualize childhood and children themselves But. i also really do not enjoy when the line between doll and robot is blurred, for some reason?? they obviously have a lot of things in common, robots and toys, in a sense, but i also think that theyre fundamentally different in the way theyre used and the social functions they have...... and besides theres the fact that robots are just not something that kids really interact with, unless its a tamagotchi or one of those hopping doggies......

[tripleyeeet]

IN UNFAIR HANDS WE'RE DEALT (9)

SUMMARY: With the battle of Moonrise quickly approaching, you and Astarion take a moment to yourselves.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader

WORD COUNT: 2,949

WARNINGS: Spoilers for Act 2 (henceforth there will be spoilers in all chapters here on out), angst, lots of hurt/a little comfort as a treat, descriptions of dissociation, mentions of death, untimely flirting probably.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter killed me so... be kind. :')

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER

-

There’s an impending doom that hits your chest mid-conversation. 

As you sit alongside your peers, discussing with Jaheira the plan of attack on Moonrise, you can feel the depths of your mind begin to drift. Slowly but surely, moving through the air to focus on Astarion’s face engrossed in the details of your infiltration. It makes you narrow your eyes in frustration. Seeing the interest in his own as she explains the designated route, marking down the paths she deems safer than others while he slowly nods his head.

You’re not sure why but seeing him like this —so invested in something you know will probably end in suffering, makes you sick to your stomach. As if, your body’s reacting to some sort of inevitable, internal prophecy that no one else can feel. All at once it takes over, erasing the previous hours of the day you once found enjoyment in. Coating such memories in a shadow of doubt that makes you wonder if this is the last time you’ll feel this. The pleasantries of being alive without consequence. The overwhelming sensation of warmth that blooms throughout your chest each time you look towards the pale-skinned elf. 

As you sit there, half-listening to the exchange that goes around the table, there’s a feeling of selfishness that follows behind such thoughts. A sliver of fear that quickly takes over, forcing you to wonder what would happen if you were to pull Astarion aside and ask him not to go. 

“So, we leave tonight.”

Unsurprisingly, it’s Wyll who furthers your anxieties. Bringing up the inevitable in such a casual way that, as he speaks, you find yourself turning to face him, watching unimpressed as he stares at the map splayed out in front of you, pressing a finger to your destination. On the parchment, it’s circled in red. Symbolically marked in a blood that’ll inevitably be split. 

Swallowing hard, you turn back to Astarion not long after, catching his eye; causing his expression to shift from focused to curious, immediately offering you a direct line to his thoughts if you need it. 

Without protest you take it, forcing back question after question until you settle on a single one, raising your brow in the process. 

Are we sure this is a good idea?

Your tadpole wriggles in response. Ebbing and flowing behind the sclera of your eye as you listen to Astarion’s sigh rattle through your brain. No, but it’s the only idea we’ve got. 

So far. 

His lip twitches. You blink. Both of you refuse to break eye contact even when Lae’zel brings up the fact that you’re all incredibly low on supplies. 

I’m sure our valiant Blade of Frontiers will come up with something.

You have to resist the urge to snort as you look away, allowing yourself to accept Astarion’s reassurance in the form of a badly timed joke and an ever-so-subtle tap to your thigh with his pinky. Both of which make your heart swell through the negativities that take up far too much space. 

“Don’t worry about supplies.” Jaheira clicks her tongue, pulling back your attention with the wave of her hand. “Give us a list and we’ll gather everything up while you rest for your journey.” 

It feels uncharacteristically kind of her to allow you more time to breathe. But it’s also something you don’t take for granted as you all disperse into your own spaces, attempting to ease your minds against the oncoming battle you’re less than certain you’ll return from. 

Letting out a heavy breath after your exchange, you find yourself wandering through the camp, feeling Astarion’s presence trailing behind as you move up the stairs of the Inn, finding refuge in your previously shared room. Once there, you kick off your boots and fall carelessly onto the bed, hands quickly moving to your temples as you stare at the ceiling, feeling the space beside you shift. 

“I’m not really in the mood for…”

Trailing off, you’re not sure what you’re meant to say. Or how you’re supposed to divert Astarion away from your racing thoughts after relying so heavily on him. Because at this rate, it’s been months of constant reassurance. Weeks of support, both reluctant and not. Days and hours and minutes of a growing tenderness that you’re undeniably thankful for, even now as you deny him your thoughts. 

Since the beginning of your journey, he’s been there in some capacity, distracting you from the growing wound inside your head. Forcing back all the terrible aspects of your shared reality so that he can take over the front. 

Somehow in such a short time frame, he’s managed to consume your every waking thought. Whenever you wake he’s the first thing you think of and before you sleep it’s not uncommon to find yourself dreaming of a life after all of this is over. A life where you’re together and happy and free of all the bullshit. 

And it scares you if you’re honest. Terrifies you to the point of obsession, filling you with an endless sense of unease even as you crane your neck to share his gaze, realizing he’s still there, despite it all.  

“For what?” 

You motion between the two of you, frowning. Unsure how to explain the feeling in your gut that roughly creeps through your organs, laying waste. “Being cheered up.” 

Despite your somewhat cryptic response, somehow his face is still as stone. An unwavering set of features that hold no obvious purpose as you stare at one another, unable to express anything other than exhaustion as he huffs at your defiance.

“You’re being rather obtrusive.”

“I know.” 

“Why?”

As if by design, your hand slots perfectly against the plush of his cheek. Gently, you stroke your thumb against the coolness of his skin, forcing yourself to smile despite feeling like you’re falling apart, knowing this may be the last time you find yourself together. 

“I don’t want to go. Not with you.”

Almost immediately he opens his mouth, ready to provide you with some sort of offended quip before he remembers that isn’t what you want. “I’m afraid we don’t have much of a choice, my love.” 

“I wish we did.”

You can tell then that he understands what you’re saying. Based on the sombre expression that follows your words and the way he tugs at your waist, maneuvering you further into the bed. Quickly, it becomes apparent that your feelings are shared. That when he looks back at you, taking in your words, he’s not only aware of the implications but feels them himself.

“Another unfair hand dealt, I suppose.”

All you can do is snort in response, allowing your eyes to roll around, remembering the hold he has on you. How regardless of everything you’ve been through he’s managed to attach himself to you like a ship’s anchor; always keeping you steady. Grounding you at every rough turn through the waters of your journey. 

“You know if you die I’m coming with you, right?” 

It’s a rather terrible joke. One that has him immediately laughing before he realizes there’s a hint of truth hidden inside. Then he looks at you as if you’ve just ripped the already cold, dead heart right out of his chest. “You can’t be serious.” 

“What if I am?”

He pauses for a moment, leaning back to get a good look at your face, picking apart each and every feature with narrowed eyes. “Well, firstly I’d question your sanity.” 

“I’m surprised you don’t already.”

“Then I’d tell you it’s not worth it.”

“Says you.”

He doesn’t laugh or smile. Instead, he just continues to stare, stroking the fabric that covers your side in slow, unsteady motions. “Darling, I’m aware that dying alongside a lover after they’ve fallen is typically viewed as a romantic gesture but for the love of Gods if you even think of doing such a thing—”

You go to protest but he cuts you off, squeezing your side. 

“—I’ll haunt you till the end of your days. And not in a sexy way.”

You raise your brow. “There’s a sexy way to haunt someone?”

In response he releases a humoured, heavy breath, shaking his head. “You know for someone who claims they don’t want to be cheered up you suddenly seem rather perky at the thought of me following you beyond the grave.” 

It’s because it’s you, you want to say but instead, you just grin and kiss his cheek, allowing yourself to further indulge in his company. To feel his touch wrapped tightly around your frame as the seconds turn to minutes and the minutes quickly shift into hours that pass by like whitecaps crashing against the shoreline each time you take a breath. 

By the end of it, you’re gasping for air. As time inches closer to your departure, there’s this breathlessness that coats your lungs, forcing you to suck the air Astarion breathes through shared kisses filled with desperation, knowing this is it. The calm before the storm. That final step before you’re at the edge of the cliff, staring down. 

It distracts you enough to make the moments shared feel less real —foreign in a way that has you feeling completely separate from your body, wandering past the Inn, across the expanse of the cursed lands with cautious feet. 

Beneath Astarion’s hands, you may be still as a board but somehow you’re also drifting through the darkness, following Jaheira’s path with tightened fingers that wrap around your blade, prompting Astarion to stop.

All at once his movements freeze, parting gently to showcase knitted brows that glance between you and your roughly placed hand. 

Your hold is tighter than expected, your nails digging between the fabric of his shirt, pushing through to just barely hit his skin. Without hesitation it forces him to carefully reach over and grab them, coaxing them out of his arm to the space between, hushing you through the silence, knowing that your mind is loud. 

“It’s going to be fine,” he tells you. Then his thumb runs along the course of your index finger, applying pressure to each joint as he moves up; becoming that anchor once again as you blink away the surrounding forest.

“You don’t know that, though.”

Fully encapsulating your hand, he digs his thumb into your palm, pressing away the stiffness that collects as you roll onto your back, staring at the ceiling. “True but that’s never stopped our blinding optimism before, has it?” 

You snort. “You and I both know I’ve never been an optimist. That’s Karlach’s job.”

“Fair. But you’ve also never expressed any doubt before,” he points out.

That’s because the circumstances have changed, you think, feeling the creature behind your eye wriggle in response, igniting within you a sensation of dread. Of a weight carried throughout your stomach that has you swallowing hard and abruptly sitting up, realizing why. 

It’s because you’ve grown used to what you have. To you and Astarion and the rest of your friends who patiently sit, waiting for the hour to strike. After years of abuse and solitude, you’ve managed to find the one thing you’ve never thought possible: a family of sorts to call your own. A party of confidants ready to roll into the gaping mouth of battle.

Standing up from the bed you feel your chest begin to tighten at such a discovery —both at the thought of gaining and losing such loved ones. Ultimately, it’s a bittersweet moment. One that has you fighting for air like before as you palm the sockets of your eyes and laugh. 

“What the hells is wrong with you?”

It’s a question said without malicious intent. The kind that sounds snarky but that’s truly filled with a curiosity that forces Astarion to sit up from the bed, watching as you rub your face. 

“I think I’m freaking out, a bit,” you admit, stifling back chuckles that half-catch in your throat as you turn back to face him. “I don’t want to lose anyone.”

You know then that he wants to lie to you and say that you won’t. That, as previously mentioned, everything’s going to be fine and that you’ll win the war without a scratch. Even though both of you know, that’s not the case. Not this time. Not with the growing size of the Absolute and the thickening plot. 

Because at this point you know very little about the world revolving around you and yet, you’re still rushing into it. Taking the cards you’ve been dealt and slamming them on the table, hoping they’ll work out in your favour. It’s all you’ve ever done this entire journey. Every fight fought, every person met —all of it’s come at the cost of blind luck. Of a dice roll and prayer filled with a hope that you’ll survive the day to come.

Deep down, you know that none of you should’ve survived up to this point. One by one you should’ve died and moved on but somehow the Gods have smiled upon you enough to allow you a moment of peace to persist. To travel across the land, surviving every encounter. To experience a life you never thought possible. 

To be with the man you think you might be in love with. 

“If I don’t make it—“

The words catch in your throat just as Astarion’s jaw begins to shift. Carefully clenching his teeth as he grips the sheet beneath him, making you frown and wander back over. 

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.” 

You move your hand into the space between you, raising your pinky into the air with narrowed eyes, watching him look at you with annoyance. 

“A pinky swear?” Shaking his head, he looks up at you in disbelief, taking in the way you grin through the sadness and wiggle your finger, forcing him to look back down. “Darling, you can’t be serious.” 

“Yes, I can.” 

“You’re telling me you want me to swear on this delicate little thing that I won’t perish in the heat of battle?”

“Yes, was that not clear?”

“No, it was, I’m just—“

“Just swear on the damned pinky!”

He takes it instantly, the shock of your outburst causing his eyes to widen as you let out a breath of relief. 

“Now swear that if either of us die, we don’t do something stupid.”

For a moment there’s a brief pause but then it’s quickly followed by Astarion clearing his throat. “Okay, but what exactly classifies as stupid? Because with such vague terminology the options seem a bit endless.”

Thinking about it for a moment, you ponder the options, allowing yourself time to really explore the results of your oncoming fight. 

Because at this rate, anything could happen. You could all perish under the Absolute’s reign. Be taken into custody and forced into servitude like so many have. Hell, you could even survive this whole thing by the skin of your teeth. Lose a couple of limbs or something —truly anything is possible. 

“Promise me that if I die you won’t.” 

It’s a statement that hangs in the air for ages, collecting dust as both of you nervously stare, shifting and swallowing —forcing yourself to feel just how heavy this moment is. 

Quicker than anticipated, it consumes your every thought, causing the tadpole to slither to your eye’s edge, prodding at the skin behind, knowing it’s Astarion calling to you. Asking for permission to see what’s on your mind as you blink away, focusing on the position of your hands as you allow him access to your thoughts.

It takes no time to offer them over. To show him all your wishes and doubts and ideal outcomes. Letting him explore, you allow yourself to take a breath and close your eyes, strengthening the hold you have on his finger as he wanders through your membrane. 

I promise I won’t off myself in your honour.

Silently, you thank him, smiling to yourself as the thought is pushed towards him. Good, because I plan on haunting you. Sexily. 

You hear him hum in amusement. “You’d make a very alluring phantom.” 

“I would, wouldn’t I.” 

“You’ve got the moan for it.” 

Reaching to punch his chest, you open your eyes, scrunching up your face. “Shut up, you harlot.”

“Fine, but only if you promise to give me a proper burial if I die. One with lots of gifts. And flowers.”

“Flowers?” You raise your brow almost humorously before the image of a grave marked in his name appears. 

It’s the last thing you want to think about. And immediately Astarion feels you start to shift, prompting him to pull you to his lap. “We’re going to be okay, love. You and I we’re, uh, we’re good —we make a good team.”

Team. 

It’s a word that rattles through your head violently, wishing deep down it was something more. Something caring and intimate and perhaps tailored to better represent the feelings that he stirs within you. 

Having experienced as much as you have together it’s obvious that you’re something else entirely. A friend or a partner —something more personal. 

Sure, together you do make a fairly decent team. In battle, you flow alongside each other beautifully, anticipating every need or want without so much as a thought. And everywhere else, you’re just as fitting. So it’s no wonder he views you as such. 

But still, there’s something missing in his words. A sentiment or belief that has you forcing out a smile, hoping that deep down he loves you all the same as your tadpole wriggles for him one last time, and the knock upon the door calls for you to leave. 

-

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(If you'd like to be added to the taglist, fill out this form. Also, if your name isn't on here and it should be I couldn't tag you so message me and I'll try again next time!)

[meimi-haneoka]

Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

Hello and welcome back to my "Clear Card Trivia" series, a collection of informative posts where I delve into certain aspects of the story of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! ✨

The topic I will talk about today has been on my "to-do list" for long time. It's something I felt the need to talk about, and I won't hide the reason why: the desire to fully eviscerate this topic grew particularly after reading around certain criticism of Clear Card Arc. But also after listening to CLAMP's Twitter Spaces, particularly the ones towards the end of the story.

It's something that, setting aside my obvious love for the new characters, will always make me think that Clear Card Arc has been a very welcome addition to the series.

This post will delve into Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card Arc.

Sakura grew up considerably during the story, and had a character development that sadly not many people truly realized.

I'm not talking about an evolution of the character design which, despite changing and evolving throughout the story (as it's expected for a long-running serialization), kept depicting Sakura consistently with quite young looks...no, I'm talking about her mental growth, in relation to her self-knowledge and her relationship with her magic powers.

A journey that might almost feel "frustrating", because it is full of "up and downs", and Sakura sometimes seems to be taking one step forward and two back. Aside from the obvious practical reasons (the plot had to develop several other storylines simultaneously), it very much reflects the realistic growth of a pre-teen, which is never a straight line but is made of improvements and relapses.

Along the journey, I couldn't really avoid mentioning some bits of the development of Sakura's relationship with Syaoran, which will get its own deep and detailed post another day.

There's also an extra about the significance of the Clear Cards in the story, at the end.

I have to be honest, the post is very long, but I tried to insert visual elements to make it easier on the eye. If you're curious to know how the hell I found so much to talk about for this specific topic, follow me under the cut and dive into Sakura's journey throughout Clear Card (it's also a good way to review the story)! ✨

A Disconnected Beginning

Clear Card Arc starts in a very "festive" and happy way: everything is peaceful, a new exciting chapter of Sakura's educational life is starting with the beginning of middle school, Syaoran is back to Tomoeda, this time to stay forever with his beloved girl...everything seems so perfect. And precisely in chapter 1, before everything takes an unexpected turn, we have this scene here, which I consider the "true" beginning of everything:

Sakura says "I haven't been using this lately...well, that's for the better".

At the beginning of Clear Card Arc, Sakura seems to be feeling disconnected from her natural gift.

Despite she had to go on a quest to collect all the Clow Cards, which later she gave a new life to by changing them into Sakura Cards, we have to remember that Sakura was born with magic powers. They weren't bestowed on her by Kero-chan, nor by the contract with the Clow Book: she always had magic in her blood, and it apparently "woke up" on that fateful day she found the Clow Book in the library of her father.

At the beginning of this arc, Sakura seems to think that the purpose, the meaning of this natural gift which is literally part of herself, has been fulfilled by transforming all the Cards, and splitting Eriol's power as he had requested. Her words here seem to be suggesting a general idea of "if I have to use this key (therefore, my magic powers), it means something troublesome is happening, so it's better if I'm not using it because it means everything is okay".

And although we can't really deny that what happened afterwards is far from being able to be considered "peaceful", this scene here always left a bad taste in my mouth because there's almost a negative vibe attached to the idea of her magic, transpiring from Sakura's words. It's almost as if she's politely rejecting it.

Precisely after she places her Star Key in her jewelry box, probably hoping to never have to use it again, she has her first premonitory dream of the events that will shake her life afterwards. Almost as if her powers were trying to tell her "no my dear, this is you and you'd better come to terms with it as soon as possible".

Then, as we all know, the Cards turn blank. Sakura produces a new key while having another dream and a quest to fight and "secure" some strange phenomena happening around her begins, leaving her in a state of increasing confusion.

This is the beginning of the part of the story that I quite literally call "Sakura loses sight of herself".

At this very early stage of the story, she still doesn't know that she started losing control over her increasing magical power, and it is definitely not a coincidence that all of this began when she thought of shutting her main magic tool away in a box, hoping to ignore it forever. For plot reasons, this also happens simultaneously to Syaoran taking the spirits of the Sakura Cards away from her (because in the beginning, you had to be tricked into thinking he was up to something shady and was the real mastermind behind all the incidents).

Syaoran expected for Sakura to lose control over her powers, as his mother predicted a general period of trouble for her that could lead her to unhappiness, albeit without any clear indication of what could happen: Syaoran came to Japan knowing something was bound to happen to his girl and her powers, and that something was going to lead her to grief, but he had no idea about all the rest. So his uncertain and reckless approach, which ended up in some cases worsening the situation, is also somewhat understandable. He was acting like a worried, overprotective boyfriend at his wit's end.

The strange events, which Sakura materializes into a new set of Cards, surely leave her distraught and confused, not to mention the situation with the Sakura Cards and Eriol's missing replies, but I feel that what really destabilizes her core are the constant dreams she gets, sometimes even in the middle of her waking hours, making her faint on the spot wherever she is.

Premonitory dreams are a part of her natural gift that she began to express ever since the OG manga, but she never seemed to really understand them or take them seriously.

This time around, she keeps seeing this cloaked figure and this terrifying dragon, no one speaks a word despite her relentless questions and the cloaked figure seems to be wanting to take her newly made key away (Lilie!!! what were you trying to do!! *facepalm* she probably tried to pull her closer so she could talk to her), so it's just normal that all of that leaves her increasingly stressed and anxious, even though initially you never see her openly and verbally stating that, due to her overall positive nature ("I'll manage it, somehow" is part of her "everything will be alright" invincible spell, and this is indeed what she keeps telling herself in the beginning of the arc, even though in some occasions it turned out to be a double-edged sword, as sometimes it looked more like sweeping her fears under the carpet, to me).

"Something Is Not Right"

Dream after dream, Card after Card, Sakura begins to have these general feelings of discomfort and of "something is not right, here", as she openly states to Syaoran in this scene of volume 4, chapter 14. There's something about this situation that is pricking her sixth sense, and makes her uneasy, but she can't quite put her finger on it yet. All she can do is to keep "fighting" these phenomena happening around her, hoping to find out more along the way. She reiterates the same feeling of uneasiness at the end of chapter 15, after what I consider one of the most concerning side-effects of her poor control over her powers: Sakura seems almost "in trance" while she leads her guardians to the exit of the maze, and acts in a very uncharacteristic, cold way by shoving her bag in front of Yue to make him hold it for her. It's almost as if her magical sixth sense worked too strongly and warped her personality in that moment: an effect that has been mentioned several times in relation to powerful magicians like Clow, Eriol and later Kaito too, so it's not farfetched at all to attribute this one-off occurrence to her loss of control over her strong powers, which ended up affecting her personality too. Luckily, it didn't happen again in the rest of the story and the capture of this Card was completely changed in the anime (a wise decision imho, since the JP fandom is particularly fussy about the integrity of Sakura's character, and she needed to stay "Sakura" in order to do what she did at the end).

At the culmination of a "mini arc" (the visit to great-grandpa Masaki) characterized by uncontrolled visions of Nadeshiko, another frightening dream (one that ended up dragging even Akiho in, due to the synchronization) and Sakura for the first time ever confronting Syaoran about the things he's been hiding from her, we reach the following scene of volume 5, chapter 23.

"I Wish I Had A Mirror"

I always considered this scene extremely important, because for the first time Sakura spells out clearly the inner turmoil that's been gnawing at her soul ever since this ordeal with the new Cards started.

"The truth is...I'm the worst at understanding myself. And that is probably causing lots of concern to everyone." "I wish I had a mirror. A mirror that could reflect the real me. Then, I would probably understand how to not make everyone worry"

Here, Sakura clearly spells out the frustration of knowing, feeling in her bones that there's something wrong with her, something that she's not understanding about herself, and that something is causing problems, but most importantly, is causing her loved ones to worry about her. Let's not forget that not only Syaoran, but also Yukito, Touya, Fujitaka, Tomoyo, Eriol & his family have all been watching her situation in apprehension, each of them making decisions and moving discretely in a direction they felt was right (and admittedly, not all instances were so).

Sakura can somehow feel all of that, she can feel that it's related to something she still hasn't realized about herself. This tends to be forgotten because it happens in a relatively early part of the plot, but notice how this is the same problem Kaito suffers from. A quite stunted ability to understand oneself. Sakura and Kaito definitely have lots in common, when it comes to this specific part of themselves. Keep this in mind, because it'll be relevant later.

And then, the situation worsens.

Sakura's dreams start to terrify her, because they begin to show Syaoran's face under the cloak of the mysterious figure who's scaring her in her dreams. An apparent truth she cannot accept, she won't accept, even though she's still unsure about what exactly these dreams she's having are. Despite her boyfriend has been acting shady for long time, she decides to trust him and wait for him to talk to her about all the stuff he's holding inside, instead of putting him through the wringer. This also means, though, that Sakura will keep all her fears to herself, eventually bottling up.

Furthermore, Kaito starts to rewind time to fix a situation without a way out (in chapter 28, Akiho was on the verge of going berserk completely and unleash the artifact), creating an additional sense of confusion when Sakura can feel that her finger is numb due to strain, but she can't understand why (she had fought Kaito's time magic unconsciously). Whenever Kaito will rewind time, even later on, Sakura's magical sixth sense will try to wake her consciousness up more and more, giving her these vibes of "deja vu" or making her act in an apparently inexplicable way.

In the first part of Clear Card, Sakura sometimes literally looks like a soul wandering about in confusion, dragged by the events.

I wish to point out that this is not a flaw in the characterization, it is a precise design by CLAMP. Sakura IS, in this part of the story, confused and lost, overwhelmed by the events. She has no idea how to approach this matter other than "treating the symptoms" as they come. This happens because she's still, surprisingly, quite reluctant to embrace a fundamental part of herself: her innate magic power, which expresses itself mainly through her intuition. But we'll gradually get there.

Around chapter 30, before the big realization, Sakura's situation reached a point where:

- her Sakura Cards unexpectedly became blank; - almost everyday (sometimes multiple times a day) there's a new incident that she secures into new transparent Cards; - she constantly sees ominous dreams (in scattered order) with a cloaked figure acting in a questionable way and a scary dragon, and at some point she starts seeing her boyfriend under that cloak; - her boyfriend acts shady, Eriol doesn't reply to her messages; - there's a general feeling of "something is not right" with her magic and some stuff starts to not make sense to her (because Kaito rewinds time)

It is at this point that Sakura finally moves one (giant) step forward and connects all the "puzzle pieces" she collected (particularly, how much more "obvious" the creation of a Card became) and understands that she's been the one causing subconsciously each and every single incident that lead to the creation of a new transparent Card.

"I'm Angry At Myself"

And with Syaoran finally coming clean with her (because at that point he had no reason to keep things hidden anymore, as the thing he was trying to delay ultimately happened - and believe me, I'm sure he partly felt relieved to not need to lie anymore, as that took quite a toll on him too), Sakura can at last give an explanation to at least a part of the things that are happening. And she finally realizes that the doubt that was tormenting her was true: she DID, in fact, not understand something very important about herself, she didn't realize that it was her own power going out of control and that all the incidents that happened bore "her magic signature", so to speak. She failed to "tune in" with her magic.

For the first time ever, Sakura expresses anger at herself.

She will direct that anger (to a lesser extent) to Syaoran too, but I'll tackle that in a separate post.

This is a moment of deep reflection and regrets for Sakura: the poor understanding of herself, the poor "communication" between her heart and her magic powers brought to a situation where her most beloved person was putting himself in danger in order to protect her, while trying to not make things escalate. This is a very sensitive, beautiful and important moment, steeped in conflicting and complex feelings (and remember, Sakura is just a pre-teen. It is normal for a pre-teen like her to not understand herself, but there's just one tiny detail: she's not a common pre-teen, due to her natural gift, and she needs to take that into account). Eventually Sakura calms down, and after creating Rewind, her resolute face while hugging tightly Syaoran suggests that from now on she'll face this matter from another, more courageous and determined perspective.

Or at least, these were her good intentions. Because unfortunately, insecurities are hard to eradicate and in the central part of the story it's shocking to realize how far longer Sakura will insist in shutting away her emotions and refusing to listen to her heart (and intuition) fully.

"It's Just My Imagination"

Part of Sakura's anxiety might have been sedated with the revelation that the Clear Cards are produced by the girl herself, but unfortunately the true core of her problems was not solved at all and will only surface more clearly in the next 20 chapters.

Sakura actively starts having "premonitory bad feelings" when she sees Akiho in volume 7 chapter 34, a bad feeling that she does check with Syaoran, but quickly dismisses as "well, it's just my imagination". This will basically be one of the major problems preventing her from reaching the complete control of her magic. Sakura, knowing her magic potential, should've given way more credit to her sixth sense, but her anxiety, her insecurity and her crippled connection to her innate gift still pushes her to dismiss these "signs" as nothing really important or true. Timely as hell, a few hours later something bad will indeed happen to Akiho, where she completely loses consciousness for the first time and the clan/Association actively starts to absorb Sakura's power through the artifact implanted in Akiho. All of this was caused by the high concentration of magic that "triggered" Akiho's artifact (and here I have to sarcastically "applaud" Kaito, just like Syaoran he's another one who does stuff before thinking through, ultimately worsening the problem).

Once trapped in Akiho's artifact, thanks to her power Sakura can see the most horrifying glimpse of Akiho's past, when she was turned into a magic artifact, by living it on her own skin. And even though Kaito is forced to rewind time once again to save the situation, erasing these memories from Sakura's head, her heart (which is tightly connected to her magical sixth sense - I'd daresay her heart is straight up the source of her magic) DOES REMEMBER, pushing Sakura to act in an apparently irrational way, crying and hugging Akiho tight in empathy. Sakura is particularly shaken by this feeling, still in pain even hours later, but once again she doesn't understand where it comes from. However, she does express with Syaoran an intention to talk to him about it once she's able to put it into words, and in the meantime do her best with all the rest. At least, there's an intention to understand better this part of herself, but it's still soon to see actual results.

Aaand CLAMP really seem to be wanting to test Sakura in this arc, because at this point of the plot, they add the electrocution spell. 😅 No one seems to understand who caused it (it's not Sakura, nor Kaito, but now we know it was none other than Yelan!!) and Sakura's anxiety increases once again. The fact only Syaoran gets affected by it inevitably reignites the doubts in her mind, unwittingly reminded of that terrifying dream of Cloaked Syaoran she keeps seeing...but she stubbornly keeps telling herself "no, it's not like that, it's just a dream". It's undeniable that this situation where she cannot understand her foretelling dreams yet, and the way they show her scattered hints because her power is out of control, has surely contributed to Sakura's insecurity when it comes to trust her own intuition.

Her power is so out of control at this point, that even when Kaito shrinks her and throws her in a hole carved into a tree (landing in a "world" created with magic where he hopes she'll create the right Card) her dreams take over again (it's apparent by the "shaaan" sound and how everything turns suddenly pitch black, a common background of her dreams), showing her Akiho in the dress she was wearing when she was turned into an artifact and, inevitably, Sakura's biggest fear, "Cloaked Syaoran". Pay attention because these visions she's getting here thanks to her power match what will happen later on: what the talking flowers tell her here will turn out to be the beginning of the lyrics of the main theme of the "Alice in Clockland" play. This vision of Cloaked Syaoran seemingly "about to do something" to Akiho horrifies Sakura to the point of screaming in terror and creating one of the most unsettling Cards, "Break". It is after this very scary moment that Sakura starts to wonder very specifically for what purpose she is creating all these Cards. The purpose is actually more than one, but she definitely posed herself THE RIGHT question, as this brings her one step closer to the core of the problem and eventually embracing her own magic abilities.

Then, between chapters 43 and 45 we finally start to see some changes in Sakura: surprisingly, she begins to listen more to her sixth sense, first catching Yukito red-handed while activating a newly acquired magic, and then wondering about a strange painful feeling in her chest when her father tells her that lately she and Akiho became even more similar. We were all lead to believe that this was the foreshadowing of Akiho taking her place (cause everything in the plot at this point deceivingly hints at Kaito wanting to switch them), but she actually was getting foreshadowings of the "rewritten world", where Sakura would genuinely feel wrecked to know that someone important to Akiho was missing, precisely when Akiho would've become part of her family as her twin. In fact, in chapter 45, before falling completely asleep, she hears again the ominous "you won't be able to come back" (the Association's threat to Kaito), wondering WHO wouldn't be able to come back - somehow, Sakura knows that it's not directed at her.

"Just Tell me Honestly How You Feel"

And then, we reach another moment that I consider pivotal for Sakura's growth during this Clear Card Arc. The moment when she's on the verge of breaking down and finally lets all her feelings out.

Her anxiety over the dream with the Cloaked Figure reached the highest peak, so much that she finally manifests a Card, Mirage, that challenges her precisely with that appearance. While Sakura battles that Card (which at the moment she still believes it's an actual person), she seems resoluted to get to the bottom of this story, and to pull down that hood to know the truth. You can really feel that she's so done with all this psychological torture. The fact the real Syaoran appears right at that moment and she finds out the person she saw was just a Card is partly a relief for her, but also throws Sakura again in despair because who the hell is that person in the dream, then??

Syaoran, as the good and attentive boyfriend he is, can just feel that Sakura is stressing over something, so he brings her to his home to help her calming down. And to her umpteenth attempt at sweeping her negative emotions under the carpet, beating around the bush commenting over the tea with a fake smile, he cuts immediately her bullshit and just tells her : "You don't need to force yourself. Just tell me how you feel right now". When she hears that she's allowed to speak out her emotions with honesty, Sakura wears on her face one of the most heartbreaking expressions of the entire manga. She's literally about to break down in tears of exhaustion, as you can see it above. ☝️ Listening to her, gradually, Syaoran encourages Sakura to get out all that's been torturing her lately, particularly about the dream with the Cloaked Figure. It is a very difficult moment for her, because she has to relive the dream, and expose in front of him all the fears and doubts that were trying to tamper with her trust in him. Courageously, she goes through with it, even though her denial ("it's just a dream!") is so strong that she ends up creating another Card: "Dreaming". Sakura at first seems relieved to see the Card, in the hope that everything she saw was indeed a mere messed up dream and nothing else (see? she's again self-sabotaging her relationship with her magic) but Syaoran with his frankness is quick to bring her feet on the ground: the kanji on the Card show "yumemi", and the word can also indicate a "foretelling dream".

Although Sakura seems disheartened at first, her next dream with the Cloaked Figure is much more relaxed, so much that even the dragon doesn't particularly scare her anymore: our girl's intuition makes her correctly feel a sense of loneliness in this dream, which she attributes to the hooded figure, not realizing that it was more likely coming from the dragon itself (aka, Kaito). After all, in chapter 72, Lilie will confirm that her presence ended up distracting her from the one "character" she should've paid all of her attention to. Her intuition, despite being misattributed, ended up having a positive effect through the synchronization with Akiho: the girl will wake up with the same feeling of discomfort of her friend, and as if guided by hitsuzen, she will head to the garden where she'll find a sickly Kaito staring at the moon - most likely feeling the loneliness Sakura perceived in her dream. I like to think that in this scene of chapter 48, Sakura subconsciously helped Akiho comforting Kaito, by waking her up with the unresting feeling, precisely when Kaito needed it the most. Still not completely embraced her magical sixth sense yet, but a significant improvement.

The road between chapter 48 and chapter 52 is paved with lots of struggles, as the Mirror Sakura Card gets stolen by Kaito, Sakura runs the risk of being absorbed into Akiho's artifact again, she meets Momo for the first time and she's even given a hint about Kaito's plan (or what Momo thought was his plan, as he had benignly lied to her about that), but almost all of that gets rewound and erased when Kaito intervenes. Moreover, despite not remembering anything consciously, Sakura is left with a sense of unhappiness when she looks at her home, a remnant of her brief journey in the world of Momo's book which straight up threw her into despair, showing her what her life would be if everyone forgot about her. She also finds once again a Card produced out of nowhere, "Time": I'm convinced she produced this Card because her conscience was awake while Momo and Kaito talked in stopped time, and their conversation triggered her sixth sense to produce Time as a result. Needless to say, all of this worsens her state of mind once again, which leads to the other pivotal, and finally resolutive, scene of chapter 52.

Never Avert Your Eyes From Your Heart

We finally get to what I consider THE scene, the one that will definitively shake Sakura from her deadlock, from the anxiety that stunted her connection with her innate gift and her deepest emotions. And the one who helps her overcoming all her fears is, of course, the love of her life - with a honorable mention for none other than his mother Yelan!!

Chapter 52 got a very, very special place in my heart, because it's basically one giant parallel between SyaoSaku and YunaAki. The two pairings experience similar situations, but the response from one side of each pairing is quite different. Let's remind you for a moment of the part earlier in this post when I told you that Kaito and Sakura, for most of Clear Card, surprisingly have one thing in common: they don't seem to understand themselves well enough, and both have a tendency to look away from feelings that cause unrest to their hearts - anxiety for Sakura, love for Kaito.

Syaoran, always attentive and observant towards his girlfriend, notices immediately that Sakura is suffering, as soon as he sees her at school. Despite being unable to touch her to comfort her, he offers all of himself to support and listen to her concerns. Sakura is visibly and pleasantly surprised of how the boy could read behind her mask, that usual contrived smile with which she tries to dissimulate her emotions and not make him worry. A bad habit she's consolidated lately, but that Syaoran is gently determined to dismantle. After opening up with him (and this is where Sakura differs from Kaito - by having an established relationship made of love and trust with Syaoran, Sakura lowers her walls with him), she falls once again into the usual trap of "but maybe it's just my imagination" and I love to see how Syaoran is her anchor to the ground, making her see the concreteness of this situation: he straight up tells her "you produced a Card out of it, it cannot be 'just your imagination'. " And then, like a precious family gift, he passes on to her the priceless words of wisdom of his mother Yelan, an advice that not only Sakura, but also the other "lost soul" of the other paralleling pairing should listen to:

"People with magical power should never ignore the turmoil and stirring in their hearts, the so-called 'intuition'. And it’s not limited to people with magical powers. People should never avert their eyes from the changes in their heart."

This is a turning point for Sakura. These words seem to positively "break" something inside of her, showing her the correct path to follow. CLAMP beautifully portray this process of "embracing and assimilating" the words she's just heard, by making her place her hand over her heart. I love when they do that (they used the same visual when Akiho heard Kaito's true name, and 'wrote it' on the most important page of the book of her life). Sakura is truly grateful for the words Syaoran relayed to her, precisely what she needed to get out of her impasse with her feelings and magic. She knows she can always count on the support of her soulmate even in the darkest moments, and she's thankful for having him in her life.

From this moment onwards, Sakura will experience several instances where her magical premonitory senses give her signals through the "stirring" of her heart. Contrarily to before, she starts to actively take them seriously, listening, without dismissing them as the delirium of an anxious little girl. This allows her to activate the Siege Card in the fraction of a second, successfully shielding herself from Kaito's time magic, making her the first person ever who achieved that. This also leads her to effectively remember that she saw Kaito using magic, even when time was rewound by him, and contact immediately Syaoran to talk about it, planning how to move from that moment onwards. A little relapse on her bad habit is immediately dispelled by Syaoran, and our girl even goes as far as saying "there's something inside Akiho", even though she's not sure exactly why she's feeling that way. But it's an intuition she's having and she decides to not dismiss it anymore, with everyone trusting and supporting her in that direction. By listening more and better to what her heart tells her, Sakura also decides to not confront Akiho about Kaito and his magic, because she's well aware of the feelings Akiho got for Kaito and she doesn't want to potentially disrupt their relationship. So, she decides to wait for her friend to talk about it first.

Thanks to this better understanding of her own intuition, she also says in chapter 57 that she wants to meet the guardian of the book "Alice in Clockland" once more, despite not remembering if and when she's met her before. This also ultimately leads her to accept the role of Alice in the upcoming play scripted by her friend Naoko, because her sixth sense tells her that it's inevitable for her to do so. It's important to emphasize how the other characters support and encourage her to listen to her innate gift, at this point, without trampling over her self-determination like they did before.

It is a moment of big growth and character development for everyone.

The Ultimate Growth: Finding a Meaning and a Purpose

What happens afterwards is history: the fateful "Alice in Clockland" play unfolds, and Kaito completes his plan to push Sakura to create the Card he needs, exchanging his magic artifact (the watch) with Akiho's one (the book), in addition to activating the forbidden magic to rewrite the memories of everyone, to fit Akiho as part of Sakura's family.

Sakura's intuition will be crucial to wake her true self up while in Clockland, succeeding in beating Kaito's magic multiple times, till Syaoran comes in and gives the "final blow", cutting off the spell definitively.

And even when everything seems lost because Kaito successfully activated the fobidden magic, changing their memories and erasing himself from their existence, Sakura's magic and sixth sense keep making her say things she either already said or heard before in the "unrewritten world". Not only that, but even after meeting Lilie in a dream and forgetting her face (due to the strong influence of the forbidden spell), bit and pieces of that conversation keep coming back to her, and she listens dutifully to every single one of these "feelings". Kaito might have overridden part of their memories (only the ones concerning him, Akiho and the events connected to the creation of the Cards), but the experience, feelings and personal growth of each character were left untouched, that's why the chemistry between Sakura and Syaoran is the same as before the play started, but also Sakura's personal relationship with her magic is far better than before (an information that might have seemed random and unimportant is that now Sakura summons Mirror even just to chat, an indication of her completely changed perspective on her magic).

Now that Sakura finally embraced her magical power, all that's left for her is to find a true purpose for it.

A question echoes in my mind, "What am I creating these Cards for?". Sakura poses herself this question halfway through the story, and she finds the answer to it precisely at the end of the journey.

Her powerful magic intuition, combined with her immense empathy, leads her to realize that somebody is missing from their reality, and that person is the one Akiho loves. At this point Sakura is unstoppable: she wants to listen to the voice in her heart that's screaming "Go and help them!! Give the true happiness back to Akiho!", and everyone can only follow her lead as she assertively puts into practice what her heart is telling her to do.

Sakura in this final part of the story shines brighter than ever. She's more assertive and self-confident than ever. All of this is because there's something she strongly wants to do with her innate gift, as Eriol unequivocally says in chapter 75: her power grows exponentially again, but this time it's not out of her control - it is Sakura herself who's voluntarily boosting it, thanks to her strong wish. And that allows her to control it and use it exactly as she wants.

In chapter 79 her growth reaches the highest peak, by handling the resolution of Akiho and Kaito's personal problems in an admirable way (she steps aside for a moment to give Akiho all the agency she needed), but also finding herself in front of an uncomfortable dilemma, which leads her to an unavoidable reality: Sakura quickly understands that she cannot be on everyone's side and there are lines to be drawn at some point. She can't be a pure and oblivious girl forever. She needs to grow up. There are choices to be made, especially when dealing with real evil people.

And Sakura choses to go on with the people she loves, even if that means she has to "stain" her "moral record" a little bit.

Empowered by this strong wish to fix the situation, she literally gives life to a miracle, protecting her dear friend and her beloved from the grasp of their abusers, simultanously giving everyone their true memories back. The effort exerts her greatly, but what she achieved is by far the most important thing she's ever done with her magic power till now: she helped two dear people lost in a life-and-death situation. Her magical growth went along with her personal, mental one.

This is also the reason why the accusations of "the other magicians should've trained her" end up being in vain: Sakura's problem with her powers was mainly on a personal level, not on a technical one. This was a journey she had to mainly walk by herself, finding the right balance and confidence in her abilities, deep down in her heart.

No one could've done that for her.

Merely training the practical aspect of it would've just worsened the situation, because Sakura wouldn't have been truly "in it" with her heart and mind. She needed to go through this process of growth, before reaching this stage of self-awareness in relation to her magic powers. I truly feel this is the reason why CLAMP made certain choices inside this story. Again, as I always say, a good part of Cardcaptor Sakura does revolve around magic, but the main focus and linchpin of this story is and always will be the main character's heart, her growth and the interpersonal relationships with her loved ones.

This makes Clear Card Arc, in my opinion, a worthy sequel and a full-fledged part of the Cardcaptor Sakura series. I think those who decide to skip it or read it with a superficial approach miss a journey of tremendous growth for our beloved protagonist.

So much for those who kept saying "This is not Sakura's story".

How can all that ☝️ NOT be Sakura's story?

I'll let you judge. 😊

Extra: The Significance of the Clear Cards

I want to digress for a moment about a thorny topic: the significance of the Clear Cards in this story.

Sakura isn't always completely passive towards the events happening around her, but wonders several times during the story why all those Cards are manifesting like that. While the first and easiest answer is of course "because her powers are going out of control" (and this is something Momo herself questions Sakura about in chapter 50), it becomes apparent at some point that the more the story goes on, the more the Cards that are created by her are particularly relevant and connected to the events that will happen in the final part of the story.

I know this is a sore spot for many who complain about not understanding the purpose of the Clear cards. It's because people tend to compare this set of Cards with the ones Sakura captured previously. That's not the right way to look at them, because their origin and purpose are different and change throughout the story. Forget about the Sakura Cards, even though so many of these "Clear Cards" (which are never called so, not even once, in the story itself, but just "new cards" or "transparent cards") might look so similar in purpose to the previous ones.

First of all, the Clear Cards are an outlet for Sakura to vent in a healthy way her power in excess. Power that if kept inside, untapped and confined in her body, might have unpredictable harmful effects on her (<- probably the grief Yelan foresaw). God bless the Clear Cards for existing and allowing Sakura to vent out these bouts of uncontrolled power in a relatively safe way.

The Cards that Sakura produces in the beginning are sometimes reminiscing of the Sakura Cards, because her power manifests itself basing on Sakura's experiences, feelings, thoughts and wishes. The Sakura Cards are an important part of her life (before Syaoran took them, she literally acted like their "mom", keeping them alive with her power) so it's only normal that the first base for some of these new Cards would be a magic tool that she already knows. In this sense, it becomes easier to understand why many of the "captures" seem so easy, way too easy compared to what a reader would expect from a sequel: the goal of the capture here isn't to make her power and experience in capturing cards grow. She already had 2 arcs to do all of that. The capture of the Cards in this third arc becomes something new and unexpected: a "damage control" of a regrettable situation with Sakura's powers, while she learns to dominate them and enter into harmony with her supernatural abilities. The growth Sakura needs here is mainly a mental one. Performing her magical power aimlessly without having a true connection with it and a true understanding will only exacerbate the problem. This is the reason why, despite having a "capture" element, Clear Card derails from the previous arcs in the purpose of the capture. It's a pity that an element that should've brought freshness to the plot was in many cases received as an actual flaw.

In the beginning, as Sakura's power is completely out of her control, some Cards might look completely random too - they don't look based on Cards, thoughts or wishes (like Appear, Reflect, Action, etc.). But pay attention, because the more the story goes on, the more the Cards begin to become particularly specific to something that shook Sakura's heart in that moment, or referencing events/feelings that will become pivotal to the events Sakura will experience later. Especially regarding Kaito's plan. Many of the later Cards Sakura produces are a direct reflection of the feelings and wishes that Kaito infused in the activation of the forbidden magic, with the creation of "the story for Akiho", the one he wanted to absolutely have a happy ending for. Cards like Repair, Promise, Choice, Kindness, True and False, Synchronization, Rewind....many of them didn't even get to express their magical abilities in a "conventional way" (everyone expected to see Sakura literally activating them like she does with all the others), but it's just because at that point the Cards Sakura is producing are born following her premonitory intuition: thanks to the hints/speeches that those Cards give her in Clockland, Sakura little by little regains consciousness of her true self (it's a pity that many English readers will never realize all the times Sakura was about to "wake up" in Clockland, because the translation didn't respect the change in fonts of the JP text). Sakura wasn't supposed to "use" them in a conventional way (how do you "use" Kindness? You force people to be "kind"? 🤨 and what about Choice??), she was supposed to listen to them and let them guide her towards the truth. This is also the reason why all of these Cards bear the face of her loved ones. Think of them as tarots. Which is, incidentally, another use of the original Clow/Sakura Cards. I am basically sure of this interpretation because the kanji of some of those Cards I mentioned above are brought up during the climax: particularly when Akiho talks to Kaito in chapter 78, she uses two specific verbs, referring to Kindness (慈愛 - a kind of gentle and tender love) when she describes the love and support her family gives her in this rewritten world, and to Choice (選択) when she questions Kaito about his choice to disappear completely from her life. So to summarize, the last Cards Sakura produced "accidentally" weren't accidental at all, but were actually specifically produced by her power in reference to Kaito's plan, to help her finding the way out to a dire situation. This represents a very important indicator in the plot: at that stage of the story, Sakura started to listen more and more to her intuition and her sixth sense, finally quitting her bad habit of downplaying it ("maybe it's just me") but actually giving it credit and taking it seriously, trusting her instinct to lead her in the right direction. And this was, of course, all thanks to the speech Syaoran gave her back in chapter 52. It is also the case of the Rewind Card, which Sakura will ultimately understand the purpose of on her own, at the very end of the series. That's the moment where everything will become clear and make sense to her: "This Card, too...I created it precisely for this moment". The Clear Cards ultimately became the embodiment of her foretelling powers. Which then led to the birth of the first two consciously created Cards, Blank & Remind, which will become so important in the climax.

If we ever get a new arc in the next years, we'll certainly deal with a more mature Sakura, who's more in sync with her magical powers 🩷.

[saintsenara]

I’m curious why you loathe the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases. Is it because it reinforces the idea that they aren’t really the same species as muggles?

thank you very much for the ask, @urupotter!

and the answer is - yes, pretty much.

how the body is understood, how illness and disability are thought about, how the medical system works etc. are all questions that i am primed to obsess over in any piece of media - even when they're not actually significant parts of the story.

which is to say, i completely understand the reason why the harry potter series treats these topics in the way it does. magical medicine isn't one of the themes the story is designed to focus on - which means that its purpose is as incidental worldbuilding detail which reinforces the whimsical vibe of the earlier books and the darker vibe of the later ones, and which means that its treatment in the text makes sense within the setting and genre conventions of canon. harry being able to take a bludger - a cast-iron cannonball moving at speed - to the head and living to tell the tale is the same as john wick being able to fall from a great height, land on his back, and then get up and walk around: he's an action hero in a fantasy.

and so wizards being more physically durable than muggles - and also wizards having their own magical diseases, and being immune to muggle ones - all makes sense within the context of the books as literature. kids don't want to read about harry having a cold. they want to read about him being a wizard.

but when i'm deciding to enjoy myself by taking the question of just how fucked-up wizarding society is much more seriously than canon does... the implication that wizards are immune to muggle diseases and that they are broadly unaffected by physical trauma unless that trauma has a magical cause really bothers me. entirely - as you say - because it directly undermines the series' thesis that the purity of magical blood is irrelevant and that the wizarding world's dehumanisation of muggles and muggleborns by treating them as, essentially, separate, lower species is wrong.

the main canon example of this which i detest is dumbledore's suggestion in half-blood prince that merope gaunt could have survived childbirth if she'd simply "raised her wand to save her own life". after all, if a little bit of magic makes one immune to experiencing complications during childbirth [unlike thousands upon thousands of muggles throughout history, who would probably have very much liked to have lived to see their children grow up]... then voldemort is completely justified in thinking merope's death was a selfish, shameful, deliberate choice.

[i do understand that the idea merope chose to die is primarily included in the text so dumbledore can segue into saying that lily "had a choice too", contributing to the gradual reveal in half-blood prince and deathly hallows that she's the key to the whole mystery. but i still think that jkr could maybe have though a little bit harder about what she was suggesting with this than she evidently did...]

and so i think in fandom it's both fun and important not to accept the idea that wizards are automatically resistant to anything which might kill, injure, or disable a muggle - especially because it lets us really play with some of the big worldbuilding questions surrounding the conventions and institutions of wizarding society.

what do disability rights look like in a world which is so rabidly intolerant of difference, and which appears not to have any sort of welfare state? the nhs is a recent invention, created in a muggle britain which is culturally and institutionally separate from the wizarding one: so is treatment at st mungo's free - and, if not, what happens to those who can't pay? how is queerness understood in a society which appears to have views on sexual expression which are fairly conservative - and how does this mean the wizarding state responded to the aids crisis? what do reproductive rights look like in this kind of society? if the dementor's kiss results in - essentially - a vegetative state, what is done with the people the kiss has been performed on? what might it be like for your relative to develop dementia at 100... when you know they might live to 250? what impact do biases about blood status have on how muggleborn patients are treated?

i just think it's interesting!

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

I get so happy when more people see the car guy mike vision! I saw you said you love cars, so I'm curious do you have any thoughts about what you think mike being a car guy means for him/what he likes?

I know for me I love the headcanon but it came naturally from that leadership aspect of him, and I think it suits him to be a main driver amongst the party. plus I think he'd like the responsibility. and I go a bit more into this in a fic I'm working on, but I also like to think he enjoys fixing up his car and finds it a nice challenge/puzzle for his brain! but the actual technical or detailed parts of the headcanon I haven't researched and explored yet because I'm not well versed on cars myself 🙈

hiii omg thank you so much for asking me about this i am about to bombard you with so many thoughts brace yourself

ok im gonna be so fr when i say i love cars i mostly just mean i love driving,, i am not super well versed in the actual technical aspects of cars myself either😭 buttt i do absolutely have thoughts about mike and driving and super agree with what you said especially about leadership and responsibility. i think mike Needs to be the one everyone turns to drive them places like he wants that to be his Thing (also him needing to be needed popping up there👀),, now max has also obv expressed interest in that but with her ending up disabled she might be less able to do that especially with the accommodations available at the time and even if she could drive it would be a longer process so i like to imagine mike kinda teaches her the ways of the road and they bond, and similar to how he doesn’t walk on eggshells with will he treats max so normal (hostile lmao) which is probably super refreshing for her with being disabled!! orrr that dynamic could even be reversed like if max is unable to drive but she so Wants to be that for the party, she kinda teaches mike that as a way to live vicariously through him? idk i just love max’s thing with cars and mike is such a car guy its insane. I think its also safe to say he’s very precious about his car like not a single crumb of food will get on his seats if he has anything to say about it. this obviously does not apply to will who can do absolutely no wrong but,, because will can see how much mike cares about his car he helps enforce his little rules with the rest of the party when they don’t take them seriously and mike gets lowkey upset with them about it. i love the idea that mike is the first to get his license so he’s kinda designated driver by default for a little while and ends up spending a ton of one on one time with everyone because of that. one of those people obviously being will, and i think between joyce working so much and jonathan going off to college and them definitely not being able to afford another car (and like love too),, will ends up abusing that aspect the most even before they get together. and while will is doing this cuz he’s like in love and stuff and it makes mike feel all useful, mike does get insecure that will isn’t actually spending time with him cuz he wants to and its just to use him to get around, and then when other people start getting their licenses hes like oh i guess the end of an era will doesn’t Have to just drive with me anymore he won’t need me :( but then obviously he Does and they kiss about it or something

and on the note of the fixing cars and stuff i sooo agree he likes learning new things and being able to fix his car and fix everyone else’s cars. like even after he’s the only one with a license he’s found this other thing to be useful to everyone with. omg also there was this post i saw forever ago about mike fixing up his car while will sits on the hood with his legs crossed drinking a milkshake and the image has fr never left my mind its quintessential passenger princess will and car guy mike to meee. i feel like mike would know so much about cars that it would make him distinctly not cool like he is such a nerd about something that would be considered cool that it circles back around and makes him sooo lame. i do think will would not think its lame tho and it does in fact turn him on when mike talks about his car. maybe mike refers to his car as a “she” and has a name for it and everything and will gets lowkey jealous and has to have car sex with him about it idk 😭

anywho!! thank you sm for asking me about this even though i probably know the exact same amount as you do about cars lmao,, actually so fucking hyped for your fic tho ahhh i love your writing <333

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #21

Ghost / Batgirl #1-4 Words: Mike Kennedy Pictures: Ryan Benjamin Additional Work: Randy Emberlin, Howard Shun

One impression I used to have that going back to look at ~all~ of Cass's early appearances has forced me to reconsider is the idea that she didn't appear outside of her own books very much. While later on that is more the case, early on she does have a fair few guest appearances and cross overs, including in this bit of non-canon dual publisher cross promotion with Elisa Cameron, aka Ghost, a Dark Horse character with a solo that had been running since 1995.

The miniseries pits long time Batman villain Harvey Dent against brand new Ghost antagonist Malcolm Greymater - a (fictional) confederate general turned zombie libertarian corpse reanimator - in a conflict over Greymater poaching some of Dent's employees (ie reanimating goons that Dent killed). Babs, Cass, and Elisa get caught in the middle and are forced to work together after following separate threads of a bombing by Two Face and bodies stolen by Greymater only to be sold off into unsavory employment after failed reanimation experiments.

I don't want to go through the whole thing with a plot summary - it's four issues of non-canon stuff after all. But as a stand alone story it works fairly well, worth a read if you're a fan of early Cass. In particular there's solid characterization of Harvey Dent and what it's like to work for him - pretty bad actually. You can see why he'd get upset at someone trying to poach his guys, working conditions for goons in Gotham are terrible, if word got around of better conditions in Arcadia (Ghost's hometown) or wherever else then Batman's villains could easily find themselves suffering a labor shortage. The mere idea of that is funny enough to me that I can't help but like this little mini series, and it's an idea I'd love to see brought back. Goons On Strike - now there's a solid idea for an ongoing Gotham event crossover.

Anyway, Ghost/Batgirl is definitely a higher fantasy story than we usually see from Cass, at least back in the early days, but there's a focus on the individual lives and humanity of the underlings working for the villains that's very grounded and down to earth. That fits in really well next to the "street level" focus of Cass's early solo title. As for the book's cross-promotional function, it does make me curious about Ghost, though probably not enough so to go back and look at her solo title. I like her villain here, but Malcolm Greymater and his crew seem to be more or less exclusive to this crossover? Comicvine is telling me he maybe appears in a single issue outside of this, so that's kind of disappointing.

So setting aside the story, how's our girl in this? Well, first of all, she's being drawn by new hands. In costume she's mostly fine.

Sleek and spooky, glossy black. The details of her form are sometimes lost in the darkness, which loses some specificity in the action panels, but in a way that mostly works aesthetically. My only real complaint here is that her facial expression doesn't really show through the mask. You don't get a sense of what she's thinking or feeling in costume, she's just this dark angry spooky form, not so much a person or a character. As I've said in the past, though, that's as much or more a criticism of her costume design as it is of how any particular artist draws her in it.

It's also worth noting that, as with Cass's early pairing with Azrael, her costume contrasts very nicely with Ghost's. White with round hood and billowing cape vs. Cass all black and pointy. Aesthetically it's a great fit.

Out of costume, though...

I don't know. Just doesn't quite look like Cass to me? I know, I know, comic character facial features don't have the same specific canon as their costumes do, different artists have different styles so characters will look different, and there's definitely a stylistic element here that isn't gelling with me. The overall shape of the head is too thin, maybe, making her look a bit older than she should, where I'm used to Scott's more rounded face, stronger jaw, bushier eyebrows, shorter, poofier hair.

Scott's style, at least at the time, also just packs in more emotional expression, which is absolutely critical for a silent protagonist.

By contrast Benjamin's Cass, when she's not in costume, is often just standing a bit behind Babs with a sort of blank, neutral expression while Babs interacts with other characters or the audience for her.

...

Which also kind of brings us to the writing for Cass here. Ghost / Batgirl is probably the best example yet that silent Cass was a mistake, because yeah, the creators of this book just do not know how to convey her character to the reader without words. The first image starts with Cass looking out over the wreckage of a bombing, and of course there's pseudo noir internal monologue all over it, because how else do you start a bat-book, only Cass can't narrate so Babs provides the narration even though she isn't even in that scene.

Babs goes along on the adventure mostly so the writers have someone who can talk for Cass, or even in some panels quite literally talk over Cass.

Cass is an intimidating physical presence in costume, but in this book she functions more as an extension of Babs than as a person in her own right.

...

It's not all bad, though. In particular there's this one bit introducing an additional ability for Cass that makes perfect sense with her backstory and yet sadly I don't think is ever mentioned again in a canon Batgirl story:

Cass gets poisoned, but she survives, and recovers remarkably quickly, because she has a natural resistance to many poisons and venoms built up from repeat exposure to tiny amounts when she was a child, because of course that's something David would do. You could just imagine little Cass and David having drinking contests to see who could take the most poison before passing out, or even sneakily poisoning each other as a little game of escalating pranks.

...

So yeah, overall a nice little stand alone series with maybe not the best depiction of Cass, but one that is illustrative of why the major change to have her start speaking, while I still don't like how it was done, was probably for the best.

[animehouse-moe]

Monthly In the Garden With My Landlord, Volume 1: Surprising Charm

Based on the just the synopsis, I'd say I was curious about this series, but I don't know if I was ever fully sold by it. Because of that, I'm very glad that I ended up picking it up regardless, as there's a lot of charm and energy that this first volume brings, making it a series centering around adult romance that I think quite a few people will enjoy, and for quite a few reasons that I'd love to illuminate.

Let's start with the idea of the story. Asako Suga is a manga editor that was just dumped by her girlfriend, leaving her in an apartment full of memories and firsts that are tied to her now ex. Because of that, in a spur of the moment decision she decides to move into a house that's being rented for pennies on the dollar and seems to have nothing wrong with it. That is, until she moves in and finds out that her 19 year old Landlord, and ex-idol, is living there with her.

I think it's an idea that a lot of people could be turned off by, but here me out on it. It's actually really fun, and well executed. Asako, and Miyako (the ex-idol-now-landlord) have just the right balance of comical and shallow traits as they do deep and impactful ones.

Sure, Asako might be a sucker for a pretty face, and that might have played into sticking around. But, she's more than that. She doesn't immediately fall in love with Miyako because she's pretty, but rather she struggles to maintain an appropriate amount of distance from this young adult, largely because Miyako struggles to be an adult.

And really, that idea itself opens up the story so much.

Asako and Miyako struggle to form deep relationships with people. Asako falls under the stereotype of being suckered in by looks, and Miyako is in the position where looks is all that people care about. Neither are able to directly connect with someone and form a deep and emotional bond, not even in the romantic sense necessarily.

I mean, the manga itself addresses that as Miyako takes to calling Asako onee-san a whole bunch, which perfectly highlights their beginning relationship. Miyako relies heavily on Asako, while Asako is babying Miyako.

The idea of romantic feelings is present, don't get me wrong, but it's absolutely an undertone to the pair forming a deeper relationship that extends past superficial tendencies. Because of that, I really hope that in future volumes they struggle with the expression of those feelings and they struggle with how it changes the shape and form of their relationship.

Anyways, let me share my love for the art. It's got a very light feeling, but that doesn't diminish the feeling of it or the detail in any fashion. It's still very present and strong, but it's not not got a heavy lineweight or strong shading or lighting and whatnot. I guess you might call it "flat", but I don't really think it's a bad thing.

I think the only thing I could really complain about is the environment art, since there isn't too much of it, but that's par for the course with a lot of manga these days. What's good though is that the mangaka fills that vacancy very comfortably. Subtle screentones that fill gaps, intelligent paneling and focus, and mindful layouts that work to really fill panels and use negative space. It's not anything incredible, but it does plenty to be aware of the gaps in backgrounds.

I think most important though is their willingness to break molds. They really don't restrict their characters to the confines of panels, routinely breaking out from those lines or existing entirely separate from them, or even having them partially cut off from them.

Speaking of characters, these designs are really damn good. The level of detail and uniqueness they carry is really great, and something that I think can be very rare to see.

Just look at the smaller details, Miyako's eyes are a different shape to Asako's (which are then also different to Hatomori's, who is a supporting character). Then look at the noses and mouths as well. Asako generally has a more squared off mouth, while Miyako's is rounder. Similarly, Asako has a more prominent nose while Miyako has overall softer and rounder features, but has larger/more prominent eyes.

It's really great design language that is very rare to see in a lot of series these days.

Even better is the expressiveness of these designs though. Character acting has a prominent role in a series like this, and Yodokawa's designs work wonders in regards to that. They work great both in terms of subtle and extreme moments, which creates a really nice feel to both ends of the first volume.

Also, the design sense and posing? Absolutely sublime. Yodokawa really has considered everything about these characters. Asako tends to wear more plain and "typical" outfits, while Miyako brings more energy and style, and all of Miyako's outfits are just so pretty.

Really, there's not much of an end to how much I enjoy the various pieces of this first volume. There's so much that I'm not doubt leaving out a considerable bit of charm and quality from this post, so I really recommend people give the manga a try. It's promising to bring a much more friendly and positive adult romance story, but not without depth or emotion. The art is endlessly engaging and fun, very stylish and well utilized, and the characters are such a treat. Just read it if you can.

[rubixkun]

Been looking through kazukibo art again (new fic has me hyped) and got a question. How'd you come up with the designs for the fan kids because I really like them. They have a nice mix of "clearly takes after their parents" but also enough of their own style to not make them feel like carbon copies. I usually avoid fan kid stuff because it does feel too much like carbon copies but yours are so well done so I'm curious.

kinda in a bad mood so I'm gonna ramble to help me feel better.

So the "Generation Xerox" trope is one that I never liked. To me, if you, I dunno, create a kid that's literally Makoto Naegi, except yas Kyoko's hair color, to me, that's lazy, and I don't want to be lazy with character design. That's also why you won't see me making characters with full on heterochromia. I've thought about, like, the Sondam daughter having partial heterochromia, like both eyes mostly blue but one eye has like a speck of gray in it.

Like why make a new character if they're going to be just like their parents with no change?

I also like playing around with combinations and how genetics could play into it. Though I don't strictly play by the rules of genetics. if I did, Hotaru would have black hair. And let's face it. Genetics are odd.

But then what about someone like Hikari? She has a lot of traits that look like Kyoko. I've even said as she gets older, she looks even more like Kyoko. How do I do it? Well for one I don't put a braid in her hair and call it done. Hikari's design comes from her personality. She's friendly, bubbly, and optimistic like Makoto. So I put in those details in a subtle manner through clothing, but also I make sure to draw her smile just like I draw Makoto's.

Some characters have also gone through multiple changes. Kazuki looked more like Makoto, Hikari changed like 4 times, Natsumi was a lot more boring on the design side of things. But this was when I wasn't really planning on doing anything with Kazukibou...it didn't even have that name yet. I just called it Next Gen.

But once I had their personalities figured out, it made designing easier. Natsumi being a loud in your face type helped shape the idea of the pink in her hair. Her outfit goes off the idea that she dresses nice like her father, but isn't all business like he is.

Hotaru is a tomboy who likes tinkering with stuff and low self-esteem. So play into that with baggy jeans and Kazuichi's old hat so she hides her face (in reality it's a comfort item).

Yes, Kazuki is a detective, but also leans more into being a teenager, so he's not going to wear his detective garb all the time. Okay fun fact, his vest was taken from a vest I have in real life. Only difference is his is blue and mine is gray. His old design felt plain so I wanted to add more colors.

And it's really trial and error and not being afraid to change something even if you already have a concept set in stone. People change their hair style all the time. People wear different outfits for different phases of life. Some people get glasses, some get contacts, and some even get Lasik.

It's also throwing stuff at a wall and seeing what sticks. Sometimes I look at pictures online and think "I like this and I want to use that in my work in my own way." Most of the time I don't know what I'm doing and sometimes I add things because I just like it.

For example, eventually as the new Naefiri baby grows up, he's gonna have glasses because I just want him to wear glasses.

But I dunno if any of this makes sense. I guess tldr I just want to put more effort into what I do.

[i-am-a-fan]

Question time cuz now I'm curious! (Mainly pirate AU cuz you guys sorta caused a fixation) What is the mark on her forehead? Is it related to her inheriting the samadhi fire or is it related to her draconic past? :0 IS THERE A FIC I CAN CONSUME?? Is there other refs on the making? I'm interested to see Sandy's design :3 Are you and spoof like co-au authors, or do you guys kinda pass the au kinda like hot potato? (lol) I noticed that in the concept for the pirate AU it had a doodle indicating that the treasure (which I'm presuming is the staff from previous post 👀👀) is located on Macaques eye. (probably, idk) and that Mk is the key. So uh. Bestie. How does t h a t work???? (Am nervous of angst)

Loving the details! Love the Au! Love any silly thing, either way keep it up Speck!

-your friendly mutual Peony (I should change my pfp lol)

OKAY. IMMA JUST RAMBLE BECAUSE I GOT SOME ANSWERS THAT ARENT SPOILERS. WAHOOO!!! This got long. So just click see more for all the answers

summary:

1. Both. 2. Yes and no. 3. No refs but comics are still being sketched. 4. It’s more like a game of telephone, and 5. i’ll explain when we get there.

1. The mark on mei’s forehead is actually from both!

My inspiration was the pattern on the back of redson’s jacket in the show. It has 3 fireballs and three lines in the middle. Since i deeply love putting in tiny details I of course used this as inspiration for the markings on redson’s back in the au.

The same markings that they got when the samadhi fire was ripped away from their body and sealed into the golden rings. However, it looks like part of the pattern is missing from the burn marks on redson…

2. Is there a fic? Yes and no. I’m still super new at writing fan fiction and comics are my go-to place for storytelling, as a result I’m hesitant to actually release any fic to the public. More so, the comics give me some time to actually think about what I want the plot to be, since i’m just laying down train tracks as I go. (Terrible. i know.)

3. Are there any refs in the making? Honestly? right now, no. Ref sheets are fun but only when you draw that character a lot. And unfortunately, just doing the mei sheet took me around 20 hours total to get it where i wanted it to be. So, i’m still working on other sheets. However, since you asked about Sandy..

He’s supposed to appear in the next comic which will probably take me a while to do. So please be patient! With finals and everything I have no idea what my day to day looks like.

4. Are me and @spoofyleaf co-authors or is this a game of hot-potato? I think it’s closer to a game of telephone, where things get lost in translation sometimes, but over all the message gets passed. The amount of rambling they endure from me in ungodly and i appreciate them. so much.

5. The concept art… uhh don’t worry about :>

THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTIONS!!!

[docholligay]

I'm curious, you've said what you would like to be different about Sailor Moon's narrative, but, what would you change about their aesthetics? It could be color palette, uniform design, acessories, transformation even their power and element if you would like to go there

This is so hard for me because by and large I am such a story person over aesthetics. I would have watched Crystal with all the production values of Detective Pony if the story had been good. I would have loved it. I'm also not at all artistic, so thinking of these things is really hard for me. But I'll try!

Really, first and foremost desperately wish the girls didn't have the same outfit palette-swapped. I get that it makes producing merch insanely easy* but it really wants for something when it comes to representing each of the girls as her own person. I would probably go with something deeply different a la Madoka, instead of a Revue Starlight thing (Though I think Revue Starlight did an exceptional job of having outfits that were similar but different.)

When I was noodling about how you'd adapt Sailor Moon in America, one of the main fun things about the idea was that America has an insane level of diversity, and so the girls could be insanely diverse. My general idea was that when Serenity fucked them all over sent them to Earth, the shard of what made a girl a soldier waiting to awaken went everywhere, and not just Japan. So, in their uniform you'd have a reflection of where that shard fell. You could draw from potentially anywhere, Melting Pot Ahoy.

EVen in the universe I DO write, and not some spec one, I like to give them Actual Practical Weapons. I think it makes more sense and it makes fighting more interesting I thought pretty in depth about how I wanted it to work both as a question of fighting style and of whatever we might be able to glean from canon. So Mina has a big old sword**, because Mina has a big old sword, and I think it's fun that both she and Haruka have a sword. Specifically I like to give Mina a Montante because it's extremely showy in battle, it relies a lot on quickness and momentum the way many large swords do not, which I think she'd be used to from the chain, and also giving Haruka a roman-style short sword then is very very funny. Mako a giant motherfucking military spear--she was probably the most fun because we have somewhere between very little and no suggestion in canon otherwise so I just got to fuck around, and I love the idea of a weapon that draws so much on power and "strikes" in the same way as the storm element.

Oh speaking of which! Big element change, in that I want us all to stop lying to ourselves! HARUKA'S ELEMENT IS EARTH. Her fucking attack is World Shaking. She is very much an earth element type. Her element is earth. It is not wind. Stop that.***

I don't have a problem with the palette in general per se, thought if I were making Doc Holligay's Sailor Moon: An HBO Original Series, I would probably tone it down some. I guess if it were like, "There HAAAAVVVVEEEEE to be skirts", I guess we could go with some sort of Roman military flavored thing.

BOY WAS THIS A RAMBLE THAT BARELY ANSWERED THE QUESTION ENJOY.

*And yet, still, so many of them do not come in Neptune. What. How. Are you allergic to teal and/or my money.

**technically I give her a chain, Go Go style, until after the Talismans Incident, and then she gets her sword, but that is more detail about my long ass and scattered universe than anyone really wants.

**Putting a pin in this as I've just had the thought, but being as Ami's element is actually ice *Eyeroll* imagine her and Michiru fighting and Michiru smiling, and saying, "Oh my, but did not you not realize? The sea doesn't freeze."

[meirimerens]

Hello this is a random thought but first off. Thank you for headcanoning the moms (like Daniil's or the twins') because God Knows there's enough dead/nonexistent moms in this story. But then I'm always curious (because my own hcs are not firmly settled there) if Daniil's mom is alive during his adulthood (as she appears in some of your art).. what does she think of her son's career choices. Does she complain that he should get a more respectable job than disgraced mad scientist? Is she supportive in principle but upset because he gets into trouble and she's worried? Is she enthusiastically supportive? Did she attend his lectures and embarrass him by loudly being like "that's my son there he's brilliant and you all should fund his research ☺️"? Did she brag about her son reanimating a dead person to her friends at a tea party? What's the vibe there

HIII WELL FORST OF ALL THANK YOU... IT'S NOT MUCH BUT IT'S HONEST WORK... and ok ok so my belief is that she. doesn't know What he does. like the details of his work. i think from university on they don't see each other very much, and dankovsky tries to Not involve her too much, for multiple reasons of 1) she's of fragile health so he doesn't want to scare/disgust her into illness 2) involving her could put the Powers That Be*'s eyes on her, and possibly put her in danger if anyone tries to like. arrest him for medical malpractice or whatnot. he tells her very little but she's very proud of the little he tells her. he tells her he's into longevity research (which, technically... not wrong), which she is very proud of. i think she got a copy of his university thesis, but she didn't read through it, because it was a bit complicated for her: however she's so happy he did it, and holds it dear. she doesn't know about his money problems, his frankensteinesque behaviors... and that's on purpose by him so she cannot be bothered by people who would be after him. there is also the fact that To Me she is a religious woman [i often talk about dankovsky having been raised eastern orthodox In My Mind's Eye and she's part of it], so he doesn't know if she'd like his death-defying stunts too much, as it is... quite heretical honestly. he's not a believer, he's an atheist theomachist, like Doesn't Believe In God, But If There's One, We Got Beef [which informs the Way He Is about death and dying], but he loves and respects his mom, and does not want to like. scare or disgust her. [when she learns, later, it's a whole Ambiguous thing. on one hand, going against god's design is sinful and heretical. on the other, orthodoxy from what i know explores the part of divinity/godliness in man = man should behave like god, because man wears the face of god/was made in god's image (source: greek orthodox friend, which is Diffrent from russian eastern orthodoxy, but like, also i'm making my research lol) so it's like. he's a lil bit like him fr... no i shan't say that it's heretical... well... a lil bit... no... (<- yeva's internal monologue)(i'm writing something about it) so. a whooole thing]

she doesn't know he's bringing the dead back, or trying to. she doesn't know what has gone down in ToG; she just received a letter in which he told her he was traveling to place where he could maybe find a breakthrough in his research, but since they don't see, or send each other letters often nowadays, she didn't think much of it when she had no news for2 weeks. she only realizes 1) something Fucking Scary happened when he comes back after the 12 days looking like hell 2) that this Something scary is within a bigger picture of Scarier. queue:

tldr: she's alive and well; she don't know about the whole resuscitation bits because 1) dankovksy Gets In Trouble and doesn't' want her to get in trouble if he tells her 2) he's preddy distant 3) she's a christian woman so the whole playing god bit would irk her a bit and even if dankovsky is fully confortable being an affront to god and wishes everyone had the rationality of science and humanism he can't deny he loves his momma and doesn't want to hurt her like that even if she's pious. she's Supportive in the way any good mother should be, but she has no idea What she's supporting him in doing, and he prefers it that way.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Hey, this is a post that got buried in our account at some point, but I'm very curious about what you think about the German aspects of Shidou's medical history!

(Sorry for being the third Shidou person lol)

-Venus

Wow you're all gonna drag me kicking and screaming into liking Shidou huh? He's already going up in the rankings lol.

Anyways, I'm gonna be honest, as cool a find as it is, I have zero idea what the deal with the German is. Shidou very clearly worked in a Japanese hospital, as seen in Throw Down.

Notice the green signs in the background are written in... well I assume it's Japanese it's gonna be real awkward if that's some other language lol. They’re not the only ones btw, they’re just the clearest.

So it's unlikely he was doing his work in Germany unless he moved his wife's body there after her accident or something, but as much as Shidou's sotryline plays fast and loose with the science of it all, I highly doubt that would work in the slightest.

Now, after some research, turns out Japanese medicine does take some words from German, though it’s most commonly used by older generations and for obstetric (related to pregnancy I think) and gynecologic practice, which isn’t quite what we’re dealing with here. We’re listing completely unrelated organs.

German used to be frequently employed in Japanese obstetric and gynecologic (OBGYN) practice; however, it is now less frequently used. Source.

There are a few other words of German origin, which you can find listed here (CW for a few potentially uncomfortable words, especially related to WWII and medicine). You’ll see there’s quite a few medical terms there, but none of them match what’s on the tag. At least it explains why Shidou knows German in the first place, which is honestly a really cool detail!

I also thought about maybe his wife being German, but I don't think that works either. As stated in an interrogation question (T2 Q17), Shidou and his wife began dating in middle school, and they were family friends (T2 Q16) so it's likely their parents knew each other before they were born, and thus were likely in the same country. The only option I see is both of them being born in Germany, then moving to Japan, but they can't have spent much time there otherwise Shidou should have a higher level than "conversation level" German (T2 Q4). Are their parents German then? What- Why would we need to know this?

Other than that, yeah I’m struggling a bit on this one. Was he writing in German to hide what he was doing from the doctors who didn’t speak German? That’s too silly though. I think the best answer is what was brought up in the rb you linked, that it’s just meant to lead us into thinking of that scandal in Germany so as to get a better idea of what Shidou was doing. That or just Shidou flexing that Japanese-German medicine connection.

Apart from that, regarding some of the other things from the thread you linked. I think the tags being triage tags could certainly work! Especially the things from, well, Triage, since they seem to have a slightly different design, though that could be me going insane. It certainly makes more sense with the “cards of promise” thing, since triage tags carry a more concrete promise than… morgue tags? (don’t know what they’re called).

And the 007 in the back of the tags, I’m not sure if it actually has any medical meaning, but it could have a symbolic meaning.

The number seven has also ingrained itself into both the celebration of life and the mourning of death in Japan. After a baby is born its birth is celebrated on its seventh day of life, conversely after someone's death there is seven days of mourning, then they are mourned once again seven weeks after the death. Source.

So it could represent mourning for the people Shidou has killed, while also representing the hope for his wife’s rebirth. Something like that, maybe.

Or maybe prisoner 007 Kazui was the one who caused the accident /j

Anyways, hope that was good enough! Thanks for the ask, take care!

[miltheperson]

A CHINA DOLL.

Ahem ahem.. a china doll please..

Reader as a china doll.

Mid like if you did this maybe tomorrow- don’t wanna overwhelm ya but your like the first person who’s actually given me ideas and made me actually want to say my thoughts-

Like how I also thought reader!Puppet demon- I just enjoy- I’ll put in bigger details on what the puppet demon thing is all about later whenever when I remember-

I love your ideas! I think they’re all quite fascinating. I’m honored to be able to write out your ideas!

Welcome Home headcanons

You were so fragile! So very shiny! You were quite the adorable looking china doll! How would the puppet neighbors, made of felt and stuffing, treat such a unique neighbor?

Wally Darling

“You’re very shiny…”

Wally would be absolutely enamored! He’d love how shiny your skin is and how it just shines when underneath the bright neighborhood sun.

“Clink, clink..."

He'd love how cool your skin is to the touch, too! He'd be leaning on you during warm days because of how nice and cool your porcelain feels!

Barnaby Beagle

"Careful now, neighbor!"

Oh, the jokes he'd make related to your fragile china! He could come up with all the best dad jokes and he'd absolutely love to see your reactions to them!

"I get a crack outta you, neighbor!"

The moment he makes a joke about any cracks, he'd very quickly take it back out of worry it might have offended you in some way. Especially if you had cracked a part of your porcelain skin! It's all in good fun though, he really doesn't mean to make fun of you!

Eddie Dear

"Whoa there! 'Scuse me!"

A lot of the neighbors would feel quite nervous when you're with Eddie. Seeing as he is the clumsiest fella around! They get worried he might trip and fall on you, causing a crack or even worse! Little do they know, he's actually one of the most gentle puppets when it comes to you!

"Did I hurt ya?? Did anythin' break!?"

He'd get very nervous and worried himself if he accidentally bumps into you. Poor Eddie! He'd always be making sure you're alright, making sure everything is all smooth and nothing's chipped or cracked!

Frank Frankly

"Hmm..."

Frank would be ever so curious! You stand out so much compared to the other more felt-y puppets, especially when your skin would clink every time you clap your hands or accidentally stumble a bit. They'd be so interested and curious about you!

"When your skin cracks or chips... How do you even repair that??"

Only really used to the puppets being sown together, They'd get anxious about you getting any sort of injury, seeing as it seems there is no actual way to get you all better! They're quite fond of you though, they would love to take you out butterfly gazing with them from time to time!

Julie Joyful

"You're sooo pretty looking!"

She absolutely adores your design! And she especially loves the smooth feel of your skin compared to the way her felt kind feels. Julie would not hesitate to dress you up in all kinds of lovely outfits!

"These colors would look so, so good on you!"

Now, of course, Frank has to remind her from time to time to be more careful with you since she does tend to get a little too excited sometimes and her games might be a little too rough for you. She'd be trying her best! She just wants to have fun and play with you!... Safely!

Howdy Pillar

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

Howdy, being much much taller than you, would take extra precaution around you! He wouldn't want to accidentally hurt you in any way! He's especially quite curious about what you are exactly... Were you still a puppet? Or just a doll?

"You're real something, aren't you, neighbor?"

He actually likes the little clinks that come from you when you walk around, he thinks of it as your little calling sound! A little announcement that states your presence. It's just a neat little way for everyone to know where you are!

Sally Starlet

"Neighbor! You're so shiny!"

She'd think of you as a star! She loves how shiny you are underneath any kind of light, she'd love shining your glassy skin and admiring the smooth texture.

"Now we're both shining stars!"

Sally would absolutely love to be close to you and she'd feel just so comfortable with you! She's very careful around you though, especially when she'd wrap her arm around yours. She enjoys dancing with you underneath the stars in the evening, even more so when your friends join along!

Poppy Partridge

"Oh, dear! Please be careful!"

The poor Poppy! She'd be ever so worried about you all the time! Poppy would constantly be looking out for you and making sure you're okay. If you live next to her, she'd occasionally come by with some fresh baked cookies and give you a small check up to make sure everything is okay.

"Oh, goodness. Oh, dear! You're elbow has a chip!"

She'd get so panicked and concerned when something gets chipped or cracked, but she'd learned just how to fix you up! Poppy would keep it in her little med-kit and would often purchase the strong glue from Howdy, she'd be so very careful when fixing all the little cracks and chips!

[limesnlawnchairs]

Bleeding Edge Goth Dolls homepage as of 6 June 2004. Each corner is the swirling skull logo, with a banner made out of different pictures of dolls. Both the top and bottom have the text "Bleeding Edge" and a green link that says "Click here to enter."

As for the text on the screen, I could not fit that all in one screenshot, so I have a transcript below.

I have not slept in days.

The storm continues to rage outside.

The pounding raindrops are like tiny needles pecking at my skull. Peck...peck...peck...

The clock here in my chamber now strikes 12. Midnight is upon me.

I am haunted by images of a dark beauty shrouded in robes of lush fabric and elaborate detail. Is her clothing medieval or gothic?

To what can I attribute these manifestations? My collection of vampire pictures on the walls? Too many horror novels or films? Not enough chocolate? Am I going mad?                       

I peer out the window of my chamber, and notice that the rain has now ceased.

As I watch the sea of fog now crawling and curling across the landscape, she emerges.

This gothic beauty, parting the mist with deliberate grace.

I am intoxicated.

My curious eye cannot look away as it follows the dark siren on her path, when, there in the distance, I see them.

A coven of living gothic dolls has now congregated out in the cemetery.

Male and female. Equally beautiful figures with pale faces making mischief among the graves.

Like ghoulish children conjuring up splendid games and Halloween costume ideas the night before All Hallows Eve. I began to wonder what sort of tricks they would play, and what fiendish treats they would eat.

And as I observe these collectible figures in macabre costumes, I notice the little ones.

Oddly complected kindergoths, toddling like infant zombies.

They dance together like a mad cult of fashion goths in their fiendish frivolity.

My eyes dance by their side in the darkness. What a morbid and glorious site this is. The goths are so wonderful I could cease to exist.

Waltzing through tombstones like vampires, elegant and lithe in medieval dresses.

Beautiful makeup, and elaborate hair done like strange fashion collector dolls.

These pictures of witches persist. Almost as if my head were a cauldron and these goths were concocting a wicked brew of nightmarish gothic dolls percolating to perfection.

Suddenly, these fruits of lunacy made clear my purpose. I fantasize myself the dollmaker! The creator of this dark beauty and her macabre companions!

Now, the question is how? How to appease these beings that leave my brain teetering on the bleeding edge of insanity? How to exorcise these collector dolls from the caverns of my morbid mind, scratching, clawing, reaching towards freedom?

Of course! My father is quite the wicked craftsman, capable of bringing to life innumerable concoctions of collectible toys and figures for many generations.

Perhaps he could help me to squelch these haunting visions, and yet, bring them to their full and beautiful realization.

Dark gothic dolls and collectible toys, shrouded in ornate dress, with elaborate makeup and hairstyles.

A gallery of gloom, designed for the collector of dolls with a taste for the macabre, a glorious hunger for goths.

Sirens of splendid melancholy, tattooed, pierced and on the very edge of fashion...bleeding edge goths!

Their names shall be Dagger, Abcynthia, Trinity.   All are welcome in this factory of shadows.

And she, the dark beauty...my muse, I shall call her Storm!

Discover the "Wizard of Goth" on our About us page.

[purplekoop]

ngl I'm curious about your ideas for Venture and spaceranger. I saw a theory SR could be Fio from Blackwatch and I think Venture could be our Portuguese hero, maybe has a build (turret, wall, etc) made of duravidro. Still hoping for heroes 42 to 45 being Lynx 17, Maximilien, a Roman champion fighter, and an Afro-American New York firefighter.

Okay lot of parts to this one to answer

Starting with Venture, here's their art for reference:

Now, with their pretty apparent explorer/excavation-themed design, with giant drill and what looks like climbing/excavation gear on their back, my first thought for what map they tie into is actually Petra, the deathmatch map set in Southern Jordan's wonder of the world. The map is littered with details alluding to an ongoing excavation project, so I think Venture could be part of that team. Plus, I think the slightly darker skin tone could possibly fit an Arabic character.

While I can't make it out with just this little image, I think the insignia on this sleeve could be the key to figuring out this character's faction.

As for kit, I don't really have any great ideas yet. While their drill at first appears to be a melee weapon, letting you just drill into people for rapid close-range damage, but I feel like it could have some kind of surprise projectile component.

In addition to me thinking they're from Jordan and not Portugal, I also doubt they're a "builder" character due to those being an ongoing struggle to balance in the Damage role. My belief for what Esperanca is alluding to is still a Tank hero that we won't be seeing for a while. Considering how long it takes heroes to be developed (note Mauga was just revealed today after being first teased in 2019), I think something as relatively recent as Esperanca won't lead to something new so "soon".

(I actually have a character for my original hero/class shooter project War Bots who uses a drill in a couple ways, and they are actually a builder character who uses it to build buildings and also tunnel underground to move around safely. They deserve their own post soon though.)

As a reminder, we are due to see some early gameplay footage of Venture tomorrow in the "Overwatch 2: What's Next" segment of Blizzcon tomorrow at 1:30 PM PST (so 4:30 for me in the EST), so we won't have to wait long to see some of how they play!

Going from underground to out of this world, let's talk about "Space Ranger" next!

(I gotta say it if I haven't already that I love both of these designs, even if they're still certainly still concept art and might actually change a fair bit before release, especially in the case of Star Command here releasing all the way in the far off galaxy of Season 12. Still, very cute, love the colors and overall vibe, big fan.)

So starting off with the theory you saw, the idea that this is Fio, the Blackwatch pilot from Retribution, certainly is... interesting, certainly an idea with precedent if Sojourn is anything to go by. I didn't remember what they looked like so I checked the wiki and...

...Yeah no these are completely different people, sorry. Fio has what looks to be red hair underneath the helmet and... I wanna say a European face? Ranger meanwhile has the dang Twilight Sparkle hair, and her face strikes me more like how East Asian characters tend to look in Overwatch's art style, like D.va and Kiriko with their slightly more "anime-esque" faces. Not to say I wouldn't welcome Fio to the roster (even though they'd be. Far, Far from my first pick for an established character to join the roster), but this definitely ain't them.

As for who I do think this could be, or rather what characters they're related to, I think between possibly being Asian and also being more obviously space-themed, I think they could very likely be affiliated with Lucheng Interstellar, the Chinese aerospace company behind Horizon Lunar Colony. According to the wiki, they also have other space station projects they are/were working on, so Space Ranger could be related to either of those.

As for kit, I don't have much to say for them either. Some neat ideas I saw were that they could be another hyper-mobile support like Mercy or Lucio, and could possibly even have some sort of gravity-manipulating buff. I really don't have much to say yet, but there's plenty of room for cool ideas!

Speaking of cool ideas, lemme take a sec to go over all yours!

Lynx 17 is definitely a popular pick I can get behind, between their fun design and the capacity for a support hacker-themed character. My Sombra Role Requeue was just one way to take the concept, I feel like there's even more room to start from the ground up! Though I do also wanna shoutout Franky, a character from the Deadlock Rebels novel that was essentially the other main founding member of the gang along with Cassidy and Ashe (and B.O.B. too, of course), who's also a hacker. I don't blame people for giving Lynx 17 higher priority, both due to being around longer and also being another cool Omnic, as well as being canonically non binary already. I would like to see a human NB character sooner than later, (hence why I've been referring to Venture and SR gender-neutrally this whole post) but Lynx still slaps so I'd be happy to see them too.

Maximilien is I think probably the most notable lore character that's yet to be playable now that we've finally got our greasy mitts on Mauga. Another fun established design and personality who's been around the story even longer than Mauga actually. Shoot, we've even seen the bastard in one of the story trailers, with Doomfist implying that he's got a job to do that the greedy omnic seems uncomfortable with. That could easily mean he has to get his hands dirty when he doesn't want to, so... could be teasing him being playable? My main objection to his inclusion on the roster is that I don't have a great idea for what exactly he'd... do. He's basically a cowardly civilian who just happens to be bankrolling a terrorist organization. This could definitely work into his kit, making him a support who sucks in direct fights but has ways of backing up allies. The one solid ability idea I got for him though is that his gun would be a silenced pistol. that's it. Now obviously some creativity on the hero design team's part could fix that issue, but still, it's something to consider.

Now for the characters who aren't as established, a roman gladiator is another one that's been tossed around a lot since the map was first revealed. Like I said with a character teased by the Portugal map though, OW heroes take a long time to develop, and they're still catching up on established characters like Mauga, so the teasers from OW2's new maps could take a WHILE to get to at this rate. Which isn't shocking really, they wanna keep Overwatch going for a while and I personally can get behind that, so I understand them setting up so many teasers they can follow up on later. As for the gladiator specifically, this idea still hasn't actually excited me that much. I struggle right now to think about what could make one of the mech gladiators unique from the tanks we already have on the roster. A melee weapon and shield? Reinhardt. A spear? Orisa. Again, creativity solves a lot of problems, but it's why I've never been that excited for this idea since Colosseo was first revealed.

That last idea though, THAT has me interested.

I've honestly never heard that idea before! It's so cool too, a firefighter would have such a fun pool of ideas to work from. Overwatch doesn't really have any water-themed heroes, and as far as I'm aware the team hasn't considered it aside from one rejected concept for what eventually became Lifeweaver. I'm honestly not even sure what role would fit a firefighter better, because the bulky outfits and some kind of water pushing ability would fit Tank, but the whole "life saving" part could fit Support better. This is such a cool idea, I'd honestly love to hear you elaborate on it more!

So yeah, wanted to give a thorough response talking about all of these future heroes, confirmed and otherwise. I'll almost certainly have more to say tomorrow when they talk about the two new faces, but that's for 20 hours from now. Thanks for the ask though, fun to talk about all this!

[mumblemoose]

So I'm going to post about an ongoing project of mine even though it's probably a bit premature. I call it the Princess Paper Doll project although it involves a fair number of not princesses. It technically started as the Disney Princess Paper Doll project but it stopped being Disney about ten minutes after I conceived the idea. Anyway, it's gonna be a long one so if you're at all curious it's under the cut.

About a decade ago now (I think) my mom bought a set of Disney Princess paper dolls for my niece. This delighted me, first because I had Disney paper dolls as a kid, and second because of a unique feature of this particular set.

See, in this set, all of the princesses were in the same pose. Like so:

And I immediately thought that was pretty cool because they could all wear each other's clothes. I also thought that because they were all posed the same and they could therefore all wear each other's clothes, it would be fairly easy (for a moderately savvy artist) to copy the base and add other characters to the lineup and even if it took longer to make their outfits, they wouldn't have to be naked in their underwear. The Princess and the Frog being the last movie that Disney had released at the time and my niece being from New Orleans and some of her family being kinda grossly racist I decided to begin with Tiana:

However, the more observant among you may notice, as I did not for a while, that they cannot all wear each other's clothes. Tiana here, along with half of the other princesses, is wearing a wide skirt. So none of them can wear anything designed for Jasmine. Also, the set kind of sucks so Aurora up there can't even keep one of her own dresses on, there are just not enough tabs to defy gravity.

So I started over with a new base and tried again.

I worked on that long enough to get most of the bases for the Disney Princesses done, decided I didn't like the pose, I think, and set it aside.

Time for version 3.

I apparently did not get very far with this one. I only made 4 bases this time (Anna, Ariel, Pocahontas, and Mulan). But I made an entire dress for Anna (her coronation gown) and all of the outfits for Mulan. Then I started drawing clothes for Pocahontas and realized that I'd made a terrible mistake. See, Pocahontas, in the sequel, wears a ballgown and full cage crinolin and they weren't going to get along with that hand on the hip. So time to try again.

Version 4 is where I start gaining some consistency. The model here is mostly what I stick with going forward and I made some pretty good progress.

I did eventually scrap this one too, because I was having trouble navigating some of the skirts on the wide stance as evidenced by Charlotte (I do not profess to be a master artist).

So version 5.

You'll note that aside from Chel they are all only in Kida's underwear and that's because I decided fairly quickly into the clothing process that these ladies were too damn skinny. I'm not actually sure why they got so much skinnier from v4 to v5 but it had to go.

Version 6. Actually, I'm going to skip version 6 entirely here. It is identical to version 7 (the current version) except that I decided their busts were a little too big to accommodate everyone (and even the ones it seemed to accommodate looked better with the adjustment). Luckily this is the point where I started using Illustrator for the lineart so it was fairly easy to make the adjustment on the wealth of clothes I had already finished in v6. Anyway, now I've made most of the bases I have planned and at least one outfit for each (except Rapunzel because there is soooo much detail that after I did the rough sketch I was not prepared to do the clean lines). I started experimenting with how to make the different hairstyles work with Belle and Anastasia (why those two? who knows) so they have all of their hairstyles to go with their bases, and Tiana and Pocahontas have all of their clothes (and almost all Tiana's hair, though I haven't fixed it for actual interchangeability when printed).

These do have tabs, by the way, they're just hidden unless I'm running a test print to make sure they work.

Now, full disclosure I mostly traced their heads from screencaps. I am not sufficiently versed in animated women that I can confidently draw all of those faces. I drew the base and I'm drawing the clothes.

Nothing is shaded partly because I'm not great at shading and partly because I've learned the hard way that it sucks to do all the shading and then make a minor adjustment and have to do it all over again.

Also I say Tiana has most of her hair because I want to include her Wreck-It-Wralph 2 hair (you'll note the outfit is there) but I am shit at drawing hair in general and worse at drawing curly hair (you'll note Merrida) and I can't find any 2d art of her with that hairstyle that I can use either to trace or as reference.

Incidentally, as much as possible I am trying to make each piece separate so the aprons come off of the Duke's and Cal's diner dresses for Tiana, Anna, Ariel, and Aurora are wearing a blouse, skirt and corset, so on and so forth. It allows for a lot more mixing and matching and it creates a more 3d effect that's kind of neat.

The full list, in case you can't recognize everyone or read their name on the base is: Anastasia (Anastasia), Anna (Frozen), Ariel (The Little Mermaid), Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Belle (Beauty and the Beast), Charlotte (The Princess and the Frog), Chel (The Road to El Dorado), Cinderella (Cinderella), Elsa (Frozen), Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame), Giselle (Enchanted), Jane (Tarzan), Jasmine (Aladdin), Kayley (Quest for Camelot), Kidagakash (Atlantis), Marina (Sinbad), Megara (Hercules), Merrida (Brave), Moana (Moana), Mulan (Mulan), Nani (Lilo & Stitch), Odette (The Swan Princess), Pocahontas (Pocahontas), Rapunzel (Tangled), Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs), Thumbelina (Thumbelina), and Tiana (The Princess and the Frog).

I'm planning on adding Amalthea (Last Unicorn) at some point. I also keep waffling about Mirriam and Tzipporah (Prince of Egypt) because they are awesome animated women who deserve to be included but also I am not Jewish and I worry it's disrespectful somehow (although Pocahontas is in there so that ship's kinda sailed, hasn't it?). I'll probably try to add Mirabel (Encanto) eventually. I ought to add Nancy (Enchanted), but that's still a big question mark. In the theoretical grand plan I'm going to do the fellas eventually to, though that may be a bit more complicated. I'm also open to suggestions. However, I'm probably gonna try to get more of these ladies finished before I add to the roster.

By the way, do not come on this post to complain about women's body types in animation. This is for fun. I'm having fun with it. I worked really hard to make this work at all. Just don't.