#and the npcs i think they’re hilarious personally

[guardianwallace]

i didn’t think my 5th omega ruby playthrough would be my most fun

[dirtboy-merc]

i think V is my favorite player character of all time.

like, when you think about what V is capable of, what they achieve, and the means in which they achieve it... V is an absolute lunatic. just slaughtering scores and scores of people. getting shot in the head, getting their synapses fried - literally dies multiple times only to just GET BACK UP LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. and they just. go fuck up whoever it was that fucked them over. V is absolutely terrifying and i fucking love it. not to mention the way V comes off to the normal person. like when V is having their little talks with johnny. just staring into space, i bet their facial expressions change too. like that one part where johnny makes fun of V so V makes fun of him so johnny flips them off and V flips him off back. like imagine seeing that as an NPC, having literally no clue what the fuck this person is doing. it’s so hilarious.

i love V so much. they’re a mass murdering army of one who can take down the largest corp (BY THEMSELVES SOMETIMES IF YOU GET THE SECRET ENDING) in the world but they’re also an absolute fucking dork and kinda awkward and weird. it’s just the best. i love them.

[myreia]

Gimmie Hilda or Minfilia!! (from @tsunael)

Hilda, yes!! I have Minfilia coming in another ask, too. 👀

Meeting Hilda is one of the most bizarre moments of Aureia’s life. She had a sense of what life was like for half-elezens in the city due to some of the weird microaggressions made towards her when people didn’t recognize her as the Warrior of Light, but because she’s not from Ishgard, she didn’t really fully know what it all entailed. Aureia doesn’t think much of being half-elezen. It wasn’t really a factor for her growing up; there was far more emphasis on her and her family being non-native Garleans than divisions between Hyur and Elezen. So the whole situation in Ishgard is odd, uncomfortable, and hurts her brain when she thinks about it too much.

So tracking Hilda across the city, slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together to figure out who the Mongrel is, Alphinaud making some very bizarre comments about the appearance of the person they’re searching for…

(Aur thinks it’s both hilarious and also very weird that he calls Hilda’s features “striking” when he’s literally been attached to Aureia’s hip this whole time—Aureia who is also a half-elezen with "raven hair" and "ruby red eyes", it was just a bit of a… “say what now, Alphinaud?” moment for her jokes on me for unintentionally designing my WoL to look like an NPC THIS WAS NOT PLANNED.)

Aureia warms to Hilda right away. They don’t immediately become friends—there’s too much going on for that—but Hilda’s a pretty steady presence in her life and the reason that she finally becomes comfortable in Ishgard. They get along really well. They have similar senses of humour. Hilda’s much more brash and extroverted than Aureia is, but they are both headstrong, prone to teasing the people they like, and will not put up with bullshit.

(One common bit of bullshit is people mistaking them for each other or assuming they are sisters—they are both very much not pleased with that, although Aur does think it’s hilarious that Hilda could be her for a day if she really tried.)

Hilda brings a very firm sense of normalcy to Aureia’s life. She’s also not afraid to confront her on her habits or if she thinks she’s being an idiot. There are times when Aur is a bit envious of her—she’s envious of how easy it is for her to be social, how casual relationships/romance/sex are a breeze for her, and it really has less to do with Hilda herself and more about Aureia seeing something that comes naturally to others that she very much wants but has kind of given up on and doesn’t know how to go about navigating it on her own terms.

There’s a bit of tension that develops between them because Aureia is still figuring out what her feelings for Thancred are (fact: messy) and she finds out (possibly in the worst way) that Hilda is having a casual thing with him. She’s upset, but at the situation (and at Thancred, and at herself), not at Hilda.

The end result of this is—Aureia ends up with Aymeric (the healthy option), Hilda’s casual thing ends since it was bothering her friend, Thancred wasn’t worth it anyway, and Aureia’s happiness is way more important than that.

Anyway, tl;dr—they’re best friends. Solid. They love each other, they’ll always be there for one another.

Just don’t call them sisters.

[ask me my OC's opinions on NPCs!]

[zoneofsmites]

Sylas Maeve has a complicated relationship with names - true names. Names make a person real, and he is not real he is a tool. He is a knife. He is the thing that stalks in the dark. He belongs to nothing but Bhaal.

His own name was ignored and forgotten for most of a century, going by titles like ‘the Dark Urge’ or giving random names to strangers in the rare cases it was needed. He did not need a name because he belonged to Bhaal, he was a knife to be used and not a person.

In the same vein he never called people by their name either. If he needed to refer to someone it was often by their title, or a descriptive nickname (short one, blondie, duster). With a slightly more personal nickname for those he is ‘closer’ with. It isn’t as if Sylas doesn’t know their name, it is just that he refuses to use it. Easier to consider them less of a person when they don’t have a name. Easier to kill those you do not consider to be real.

Even without memories he keeps up the habit, although he does not remember the original reason. The nicknames are a lot more fun loving and personal - less of a description of their appearance and more about who they are as a person and how Sylas perceives them.

Naturally I have made a list of nicknames for companions and other npc’s (as well as some mutual's ocs) which you can find below the cut:

Companions

Astarion - Starlight / Star

Astarion is a creature of the night but mostly Sylas thinks stars are pretty, and he also thinks Astarion is pretty.

Also -> a-STAR-ion

Karlach - Giggles + Boss

Karlach is cheerful but also she makes Sylas laugh.

Boss is said in reply to Karlach calling him 'Soldier'.

Shadowheart - Thorns + Orchid

Thorns because she’s pretty like a flower but more dangerous than she appears.

Then later she also earns the nickname Orchid when she tells him they’re her favorite.

Gale - Sparkles + Chef

Gale is sparkles because of the malfunctioning sparking rune he was pulled out of and just magic in general.

Chef because he is the party cook, though Sy will only refer to him as Chef when he's actively cooking.

Wyll - Waffles + Hero

Waffles as in waffling. Sylas has a hard time understanding Wyll’s speech sometimes because he can say a lot of things without actually saying anything - but it’s used affectionately.

Sometimes Sy will call him 'Hero' because of the whole Blade of Frontiers thing with his little pose.

Lae’zel - Shivs

Shivs as in a shiv, as in shivving. She is sharp like a knife in dialogue, personality, but especially in combat. She is a fellow weapon.

Halsin - Honey

No, not like that.

The substance, not the pet-name. Halsin is a sweet man and they first met when he was in bear form. Hence, honey.

Jaheira - Harper + Crone

Sylas doesn't give her a nickname at first because he's sure she'll rip his tongue out, so just Harper.

Later when she join their party he begins to call her 'Crone' jokingly when he knows she'll be a good sport about it.

Minsc - Little Guy / Tiny (Boo: Big Guy)

It's ironic. Minsc didn't get it originally but after explaining it a few times he found it hilarious (he laughs every single time now).

Important NPCs

Enver Gortash - Tyrant + Ruffles

It was always tyrant in public. However, privately Sylas called Enver 'Ruffles'. Namely because of his fancy frivolous way of dress, but also in part of his more charismatic tendencies and speech.

Gortash is also the only one Sylas would refer to by his actual name on rare occasions pre-tadpole.

Orin - Little Spawn

(derogatory)

Orin might be a bhaalspawn, but she is only a fraction of Sylas' age. Young, little, small, insignificant spawn. (emotional warfare in my shitty bhaalist family? exactly as likely as you think).

Saravok - Rust

Saravok was the leader of the Iron Throne, and he failed. A constant reminder of his lack of achievements. (emotional warfare in my bhaalist famil--)

Ketheric Thorm - Geezer + Chuckles

There aren't many people Sylas knows who are older than him, and he did not age gracefully did he?

Chuckles is ironic - lighten up dickhead. (considering Sylas wasn't a cheerful guy back then either, kind of hypocritical).

The Emperor - Daisy -> Blue Blood / Blue

When masking himself as the Guardian Sylas wanted to call him Ruffles (his guardian looks like Gortash), but it didn't fit quite right to him so he landed on Daisy. (daisy being the EA version of the guardian)

After the lovely little reveal of who the Emperor actually is he earns the name Blue Blood. Which is both a play on him being a mindflayer - with their purple-ish blood - as well as the Emperor name.

Withers - Bones / Bone man

What can I say here that you don't already know. The man is a corpse, he's bones. Bone guy.

Raphael - Kitty

"The mouse smiled brightly, it outfoxed the cat. then down came the claw, and that, love, was that." <- Sylas is letting him be the cat in this analogy in the most condescending way he can think of.

Secondly, I'm sure it would piss him off - and perhaps turn him on or wahtever, idk he is a huge bottom after all - which is mostly the goal.

Isobel - Snowglobe

The protective barrier over Last Light Inn looks like like a snowglobe. Isobel earned this nickname from Sylas so he can keep reminding himself why he shouldn't kill her.

Dame Aylin - Crackles

Crackles is in reference the the golden cracks of her marble-like Aasimar skin as well as the display of her power being quite the light-show.

Other NPCs

Zevlor - Chief

It's kind of on the nose. He is the leader/chief of the tieflings in the grove. Sylas does not change this nickname even in act 2 - he is still chief.

Roland - Twinkles

Funny little wizard twink guy who does magic tricks and wears shiny clothes.

Volo - Peacock

That goblin lady that decides to keep him as a pet had the right idea calling him a little bird that coos. If it ain't broke don't fix it. And with his stupid outfit and parading around, he's definitely very peacock-esque no?

Mol - Killer

She's his little killer! She's killing it!

Mol is also just very driven and Sylas recognizes a lot of potential in the kid, and is generally just very fond of her.

Arabella - Sticky

Out of context its a little odd but sticky as in sticky fingers, the little thief that she is <3.

Yenna - Little Chef

Yenna likes cooking, but because Gale is already 'Chef' she is the little chef!

Githyanki Egg - Eggsy

it uhh, well it is an egg? But just saying 'the egg' quickly morphed into a little nickname. Once the kid hatches it is never going to escape this nickname.

Special OC Edition

Donnie and Sylas exists together in one verse between me and my friend melon. But I also like to think of nicknames for my mutuals OCs that Sylas might give them if he knew them because its fun <3.

Donnatello Arivae (themelonlad) - Sunshine / Sunny

Donnie is not just a Paladin of Lathander (Oath of Devotion) which already makes the nickname fitting. He is also just, so sweet and bright it is almost sickening. (ironic for the half-drow to be so related to sunshine)

Kyvir (crossdressingdeath) - Birdie / Little Bird / Pretty Bird

Bards sing and chirp like birds - although Kyvir mostly plays instruments he does have a lovely singing voice. The point is that Kyvir and birds both make music. Little bird because he's short, and pretty bird because he is pretty of course!

(is it narcissistic to call kyvir pretty when they have the same face preset? eh whatever, it's true!)

Roz'zith (veilkeeper) - Broody + Glim

It is a little true isn't it? Roz might not be actually broody all the time but they do appear to be pretty broody from the outside. It's not actually meant to be a nagging nickname, Sylas and Roz are alike in being rather quiet actually so it's an attempt at being relatable. (where is that +3 charisma going to? not socialisation I can tell ya that)

Glim is apparently Faerûnian for 'eye-catching' as well as 'beautiful'. What can I say I'm projecting my love for the pretty githyanki onto Sylas.

Ezra (wilchur) - Dumbbell -> Bells

I'm sorry but all the insta-fail INT rolls are being immortalised in nickname form. It's ok this is a solidarity nickname, Sy only has 8 INT to speak off post-tadpole.

Dumbbell would just shortened to Bells at some point when they would know each other longer - just calling him Dumbbell when friends feels unnecessarily rude.

[hannahhasafact]

Things the fucking slap about the non Intrepid Heroes Dimension 20 seasons in order of release:

Escape from the Bloodkeep

Absolutely stellar party with Amy Vorpahl, Erika Ishii, Ify Nwadiwe, Matthew Mercer, Mike Trapp and Rekha Shankar

Includes the one familiar the Brennan refuses to harm, and it’s the most horrible creature you’ve ever met.

Speaking of J’er’em’ih, I don’t think Trapp gets as much appreciation for Sokhbarr as I think he deserves because when Trapp commits he fucking COMMITS. And that one very specific investigation check? Ooh baby it was so good

Speaking of boss ass moves, Rekha’s balloon ass fuckery was such a good move. And Ify being like “can we be bros with the eagles?” ending up being one of the best moves to do? Absolutely fantastic

Honestly one of the funniest seasons of D20 tbh imo. Like I do not like LOTR, so I didn’t think I’d like this season. But it’s such a hilarious season, no wonder it’s one of the side quests I feel like folks recommend the most

Tiny Heist

The McElroy fam? Even if you don’t listen to TAZ (like me) you know they’re a good time

The Rick Diggins speech is just so fucking bananas it’s so good. Rick Diggins is also just the most batshit character

Personally, I love heist stuff. It’s so fun! And I really found the heist itself to be so fun! (Griffin’s part it in is my favorite, Bean is adorable and I love him)

Also there’s always something so fun about the mechanics of tiny universes within our universe? The way they explain toys and stuff coming to life is really interesting and fun imo

Lily Du’s first time at the table and Jess Ross at the table! Speaking of I love how Jess completed her arch, she knew what was going down with her character and made a complete story. It was great!

Pirates of Leviathan

Personally I love this season, and our first time having Aabria at the table ahhhhhh (also my first encounter of “please have the camera focus on Aabria, she makes the absolute best expressions”) Plus, it’s back in the Fantasy High Universe which is always fun to explore more about the universes (and get some NPC cameos/appearances!)

Also tbh I love all of the PCs in this series? Like they’re all so interesting and unique, and are such full characters.

Literally the absolute best PC introduction that exists in d20, Bob I love you so goddamn much

There’s a goddamn Queer Eye joke in this season and at first it’s played for laughs but honestly becomes like… the softest thing? And it warms your soul? And it also features Matt Mercer as a tall ass rat man (this season also has a rare pair I ship and I think no one else does lol but I love it so)

Pirate T-Rex. Just feel like that alone needs its own bullet point lol

Mice and Murder

The mystery!!! Is so fun!!! It’s cool at the end of the season to see how everything was connected, and it’s fun to go on the journey with the party

Katie Marovitch rolling the first nat 20 of the season and not understanding the implications of a natural 20 for a good couple of minutes will always be funny

This season is pretty much all classic College Humor cast mates, so if you’ve been watching College Humor stuff for over a decade like me you’re sure to find some joy in it

Sam Reich has some of the most killer one liners in this season and he’s just such a fun character. Honestly, this season is just so goofy and everyone is just trying to make each other laugh. It’s delightful

The texting element!!! Is so dang interesting!!! And it works so well for the mystery

Misfits and Magic

The first season with a new GM!!!! Aabria!!! When that trailer came out we were all SHOOK, truly began a new era of d20 and we love it

And first time PC Brennan??? Listen he’s such a fun PC we love the strange lil guys he plays

Sam Black deserves so much more love, she’s such a fun PC. Like Danielle would just say one liners that would knock me the fuck out, she’s so dang funny

Listen one of the funniest moments to me will always be Lou and Brennan as their actual selves being like “Mukbang? That’s not a real thing right? No… no it’s not”

The fact that one of the animal companions is straight up just a basketball is hilarious and ridiculous

The Seven

If you love the Fantasy High universe and want to know more about some of the side NPCS, ooh baby they’re PCs now and they’re all played by hilarious cool folks (including our first time having Izzy Roland, Persephone Valentine and Becca Scott in the dome!)

This season absolutely feels like a sleepover with friends. Everyone is giggly and having so much fun, and it’s so fun to watch (and also emotional when you least expect it lol)

I’m having a hard time describing funny moments because it’s just one of those things where you have to experience it to get it? Like this season had me cry laughing but I will never be able to describe the sexy duck outfit as hilariously as Becca does it’s just so good

Oooh before we got killer costume descriptions from ACOFAF you better believe we got it during this season. And if you’re a big costume nerd like me you’ll just be like heart eyes mother fucker

On an interesting note, Brennan is kind of playing both an NPC and PC? Technically he’s still just playing an NPC but Zelda is like… part of the party (obviously part of The Seven). And it’s a fun change!

Shriek Week

Gabe Hicks is a delight as the GM! I am constantly thinking about the line “You may be yolked but this man is a straight up omelette” because it slaps and tbh I would love to see him in the dome again

I think this is canonically the only season where characters FUCK

Another season with a very fun cast, like all of the cast has big horny energy and it’s so silly! If you’ve watched this season you understand Lily’s energy in Dirty Laundry a lot more lollll

Also this season canonically has Mothman and The Count from Sesame Street as characters and it makes me giggle every time

Tbh I really wish this season had more time but if you’re looking for a super short series, it’s only four episodes long!

Coffin Run

Jasmine Bhullar is SO fun as the GM and I feel like really plays off the PC energy well? She was so much fun

This season is another one that is just goofy fun! And you know I love me some goofy fun (the whole eating letters thing is so stupid and so fun)

Personally think the sets for this series are SO cool like oh my god?? The trainnnnnnn ahhh

This is kind of a bigger spoiler but I will never be over the wine glass props for that one combat? When she pulls them out I DIE

This cast REALLY goes in on their characters and plays them so big, it’s delightful

A Court of Fey & Flowers

Do I really need to get into why this season fucking slaps? I’m pretty sure it’s one of the most popular side campaigns because it fucking SLAPS

Aabria is back as GM, bringing poetry and grace to the dome and ahhhh (like she literally recites poetry but also the episode introductions are just straight up poetic

This is the season of romance and brought me to the horrible realization that I like DND actual plays because mostly I like the role playing apparently lolllll

Outfits outfits outfits outfits ahhhhh we love some fantastic outfitsssss

The whole Green Hunter bit is so fucking funny

Anyways moral of the story is D20 side campaigns are fun and you should watch/listen to them

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

kenny no one understands me like u do pls come home to me 💔💔💔💔💔

lmfao i find the idea of kenny just coming back to a home and just chilling, and having a normal life so hilarious

like imagine if kenny just had a powerful partner and they could wreck havoc together, but nooo they're going to watch netflix and then make lasagna and go to a rollercoaster and do some other random shit while there are curses rampant everywhere and just shit going on

NO BC THIS IS LITERALLY ME AND KENNY TRUST🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

phdkdjdj . HONESTLY THOUGH ……. when it comes to kenny i think the funniest possible person to pair him up w is someone who is . Just a Guy. an npc that he gets unreasonably attached to. he’s just out there living his mad scientist life and they’re like :) . do you want takeout for dinner tonight? THEY’RE JUST. so normal abt everything. nothing to see here. they just love their husband and he loves them back <333 may or may not offer to dissect them every once in a while but that’s another story

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

random notes on naddpod c1 ep 1-45

shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends' ears off irl. For whom it may concern. also why do i keep thinking i could keep these to a single post. this campaign has a hundred episodes.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still

Scoutmaster Denny *murdered* me. The voice, the whole deal. I started this podcast on a trainride and fully lost it over Denny in public

“Let’s cast waterwalking on the boat!” “…Emily, that’s just a boat.”

Hardwon on the dumb mating call idea: "can't we just break a bunch of sticks or something? why do we have to make it horny?" and Murph losing the fucking plot in the background

DM lightly threatens player’s pet, endangers his marriage, more at 10

JONAH

“The animals are going batshit. Even the bats.”

legit every time they describe someone and then land on "they're just hot" almost nothing they describe works for me, it's kind of hilarious

also a truly staggering percentage of the NPCs are naked

Moonshine is saved by an almost literal Deus Ex Machina as Pawpaw descends from the Heavens carried by a very helpful centaur

-

The reaction to the last remaining dude attacking Beverly in the Ezry lab cracked me up. “We’re trying to watch a cutscene! Read the room!”

-

whenever Emily shows the slightest hint of disappointment or frustration the world will immediately alter just a little to make her feel better (like retroactively making the stairs unsafe because Emily saved a whole spell slot to climb the wall of the tower). This is the cutest shit and also it took them TWELVE episodes to call Murph out on it

(I'm much further into the podcast now and i can't believe none of them have tried to weaponise this blatant weakness even once)

-

A BROOMBA is sweeping the floor

nothing is better than Murph doing Pawpaw but his fucked-up sounding seagull is a close second. Truly capturing the personality of those damn bastards, the man is the king of the garbage critters

Emily feels SO guilty about sending this dumb bird to die

Coming into this with the only prior experience of DnD being Brennan and Aabria is kind of wild. Like D20 campaigns you'll get the big philosphical speeches for the emotional beats and here's Murph with an equally heartfelt "Life just sucks ass, you know?"

Hardwon finding out about his parents is SUCH a good scene

“Are they bioluminescent?” “No.” “Can they be?” “Yeah, okay.” (16/17)

“Get out of town!” “I can’t, I’m a mushroom. I just stay here.”

Emily: “Oh, scrying means spying!” “It doesn’t, but-“ Murph, .2 seconds within Emily getting ‘um actually’-ied on dnd: “It does in this game, wiseass.”

Ol' Cobb’s big day!

When Hardwon goes down and the whole table has to watch Murph fight this intense squirmish against himself. Just a guy rolling dice and talking to himself. God that’s so funny (19/20)

Bev’s big day! Also Bev’s first kiss! (19-20)

-

they’re really going all out for Ol' Cobb. Now he has a tragic lovestory too! (21)

“The High Elves believe that they were banished because they were cousins who wanted to get married. The Crick Elves believe they were third cousins at most. The truth is somewhere in-between.” “Second cousins?” “They were second cousins.”

Not to be cheesy on main but the Crick is such a love letter. Like it’s so obvious how much care and heart went into this almagation of all the silly asides Emily has thrown out

I have one (1) American irl friend and they're from a smalltown in North Carolina so all I'm hearing is people approximating my friend's accent with varying consistency and success

the Crick sounds like paradise and my worst nightmare, simultaneously

having Pawpaw's mother speak and also speak in the most matter-of-fact serious tone (22) is the funniest thing to ever happen. truly inspired.

Hardwon swears fealty to a middle-aged possum? what is happening

Jake v Murph’s ice ban is priceless (23) - “I caught Jake downstairs shovelling ice into his drink out of a bucket with a scoop - you had a scoop! - and he tried to cover it up and hide it!” “It was a joke!” “It sounds like you got caught though! Can you get caught making a joke?” #lifttheiceban

“I’m sure people will get the expedited version of the puzzle solving section-“ “No, give them the nine-hour cut, with just a full hour of us screaming at Murph begging for the answer.” “Join us for our new podcast, Puzzle Dullards.” (23)

Increasingly chaotic openings: “I am furious and I am also Brian Murphy” “If you edit out all my binks, I swear to Melora I’ll… I’m gonna pants you in your sleep!” (24)

Moonshine describing marble as “polite rock”

Emily attempts some straight up gaslighting: “Can I summon Illuminate Mystery?” “…that’s not… that’s not a real spell, you jerk.”

“Murph, if you kill Meemaw regardless of what happens in the fog just because it’s narratively interesting, I will sleep on the couch. For months.” “If Murph sleeps on the couch, is that a Murphy bed?” “No, I’ll sleep on the couch.” “Okay, if Meemaw dies, Emily will be punishing herself.” (25)

Not Murph giving Moonshine crickrot only to be audibly distressed when Emily is sad about it (26)

And then channeling this distress through her fictional pet possum

Pawpaw really is the funniest self-insert character of all time

“Balnor, are you from WWI?” I adore this theory and wish it were canon. But also he talked about fridges a bunch so probably not?

Okay but in all seriousness the whole Marabelle arc is SO GOOD

And Hardwon’s earnest devotion to Mawmaw is actually oddly touching ngl

-

Murph as the voice of Hardwon’s drug addiction is *devious* (30)

That NPC casino employee making zero efforts at the pirate lingo

Siobhan’s character trying to talk to Pawpaw!! Pawpaw being described as Moonshine’s accountant!!

Literally my reaction whenever pawpaw makes an appearance:

Moonshine backing out of that threesome and opting back in like five times and also roping Balnor into it is GOLD

Genuinely the strategy to fake an immediate orgasm and sprint out in embarrassment is actually probably not the worst way to get out of a foursome? Maybe?

"And Siobhan Thompson as Apple Scrumper." "MVP! MVP! MVP!" "Yeah, Apple is the only one conscious right now." "Right now, MVP stands for Most Vertical Person."

Murph treating his Jersey accent like a full-on speech impediment

"Why are you writing that down? I haven't given you guys anything!" "This is Caldwell, out of character, trying to be helpful!" "No, this is Caldwell, out of character, wanting that money for Bev!"

(in)voluntary horse murder

Emily's thornwhip move!! her MIND

-

"So do we go and look for him or do I just cast Skywrite and make the clouds say something threatening to him?" "You're going to threaten him with clouds? Okay."

"LIAR! LIAR BOY! YOU'RE NOT A REAL GREEN TEEN!" "I would never lie! It's true! The stratosphere wouldn't allow for it, I'm sorry!"

Murph making a huge deal about how it would be impossible to see skywriting at night when the way bigger issue is that Moonshine is illiterate. They keep forgetting that and it's funny every time

Moonshine firmly believing that Pawpaw knows how to write and him just writing "MO" every time is my absolute favourite bit I hope it never ends

"Wait a minute, you're in the middle of a swamp and you summoned a big, beefy horse?" "Horses can swim! Horses can swim!" "We've all seen Neverending Story, okay?" [crowd boos] "I will kill your horse! I dare you to boo me!" "Don't boo, he thrives off of it..."

Murph is channeling so much rage at something workout related here. who hurt you

"You all killed my family! My friends!" "You also did that." "You might have killed more of them than we did." "Truly all I did was hold a door shut." This is vicious I forgot how off the walls fucked up the whole Josh thing was

"Shit now I gotta do math in front of people."

Caldwell's silly little poems are actually so fucking impressive tho

"What's the damage on that?" "Rolling still." that is SO ominous

-

Spent this entire fight thinking the Watchman was throwing I beams at the BOB. Deeply confused when Murph said his players would get mad at him if he didn’t count those as spells. They meant “eye beams” as in laser beams from his eyes, and bottom line is English sucks because you can’t communicate anything clearly

-

“Murph, you’re living it up in this city.” “Yeah, you’ve invented a city full of anti-goof robots.” “The anti-goof police is out in full force.”

Murph setting up a super high-stakes social environment where the cast cannot pull their usual shenanigans and then deciding this will also be the arc where all the NPCs relentlessly flirt at Moonshine is honestly hilarious

holy shit no punches are being pulled in first half of the Frostwind arc. yeesh

Their massively lame "Headgum does Red Wedding" bit

Emily's Melora bits finally went too far: "Oh, Melora is masturbating in the corner!" "... Jesus." "Eww! That's the worst one!" "That is some Blumhouse shit, Emily!"

I think this podcast is the first time I've ever heard the word “brazier” actually pronounced out loud, and I hate it! please stop saying it

Murph taking the occasional run up at the fourth wall to go 'hey this is pretty good! who wrote this' always amuses me. i get it, if I could do that with my own writing i would

the 'one big bed' bit warms my heart. They keep trying to make it weird but honestly i still mostly come away missing big sleepovers

"I'm not afraid of the elements! The nature of mushrooms is sort of -" "Moonshine... mushrooms don't grow here." *Moonshine's life flashes before her eyes*

I know Balnor just confirmed he was around post early 80s because he quoted ESB, but the way he reacted to that whole gnarly giant murder and disembowelment is *really* giving WWI vibes

Starting to suspect Murph also just learned how to pronounce brazier. There seem to be a weird amount of them around, nobody has a campfire or an oven or a hearth or a fireplace…

The life and times of Ram Daniel

“I can’t tell you what a bad place this was to do a blood ritual.” Oh what a good and reassuring thing to hear from your DM

Murph starting to rate their little intros and immediately getting "bullied" into changing Emily's grade to an A (43)

“I sing a quick Gashlight Anthem”

Emily rolling for her dream and dreaming about Pawpaw dissolving, “that’s a one roll you monster!”

Murph stop making fantasy meth sound fun challenge

This party being fifty percent functionally illiterate is somehow still funny

-

"Bev crit on finding Werther's one time, and then failed a check to see cannons coming at his house, and his mom, his boyfriend and his grandma almost died."

"Everyone is hot, everyone is horny, welcome to NADDPod" well at least he admits it

[raining-anonymously]

infodump to me please.

ok but as you may know i am hyperfixating on a dnd series that none of tumblr cares about. it’s 1 For All DND by Deerstalker Pictures on Youtube and it is so funny and chaotic and well-made. i think i saw in a behind the scenes video that they film with a black magic camera (which i have seen in practice before and it’s. like. very good and expensive) and edit with adobe premiere (my beloved).

anyway series concept is that there are four Guys—Patrick the DM and his three players Eva, Antonio, and Nicole. Eva plays a half-elf fighter called Evandra who is tough and cool and scary and also bisexual. she has a sword and armor. sometimes she’s the common sense and sometimes she is Not. is that not top-notch character design? also her hair gets progressively cooler throughout the series which is very amazing of her.

Antonio plays a human bard named Antrius, who is incredibly full of himself, flirts with everyone (including a villain he successfully seduced, two paladins, evandra, his rival bard, a vampire, a random knight, a dwarven couple whose child evandra murdered, himself, etc), carries a lute but also plays everything from a kazoo to an accordion. he once said, “There’s no I in team. There’s an A, though—which stands for Antrius!” before doing a silly dance.

then there’s Nicole’s character, a tiefling sorcerer named Nixie. she can be a bit on the oblivious side—her intelligence score is zero—but she makes up for it with FIRE. like. literal fire. she’s adorable and pink but also she has one plan ever and it’s FIREBALL. also she likes women. when she was a kid she accidentally burnt her whole family to a crisp, probably due to wild magic and repression. disaster.

then there’s Pat the DM. who just wants a nice campaign. he also plays Every NPC (excluding a few roles later on) regardless of species and gender. he has to put up with the party’s shenanigans, which are exhausting, but he clearly does enjoy what he does, which is nice.

of course, this alone is great potential for a series—but what really brings it in for me are the side characters. aka guest players. over the course of the series, there have been a LOT of those: Vlithryn the triton cleric who’s tired of the party, Annandale the warlock who everybody hates, Dargle-Bark the… eccentric druid, Lorienne the paladin (who eva and antonio flirt with both in and out of character), the catlike Rogue who Nixie flirts with and Evandra hates, Mogdar the pacifist half-orc barbarian artist, Godfreya the incredibly amazing paladin, and my personal favorite—Zephyr the air genasi bard, who a) is Antrius’s ex, b) is Antrius’s rival, c) flirts with Antrius despite all this, d) is a bit (read: a lot) of a prick actually, and e) is crushingly insecure and cries himself to sleep.

that last character appears in a one-shot and one full episode, but that doesn’t stop him from being my blorbo. i have also watched the episode and gone over each shot and frame so many times that yesterday i realized that there’s a mistake towards the end where his flute switches hands in the very last shot of him. because i’m at that point where i have to see every facial expression from every character in that (musical!) episode, including nixie and evandra’s glorious background actions.

there’s also another earlier musical episode, which happens to be the best-rated episode of the series. the party’s been captured, and antrius (mis)uses bardic inspiration to get them out of it—and it’s beautiful. it’s just beautiful. wonderful cinematography, wonderful singing, wonderful lyrics, wonderful acting, wonderful script, just wonderful.

the episodes are short which is great if you have a wildly fluctuating attention span like me. the characters are often terrible people but they’re somehow still likable and hilarious. tw for extreme fantasy violence and sex jokes, but it’s a great series with great humor and the rest of tumblr needs to watch it so i can see fanart and fanfic without having to make it myself. you guys would love annandale

[razorblade180]

Elden Ring is hilarious when you have a guide or trying to get hyper specific things, but very tragic from an NPC perspective.

I literally traveled across the land into treacherous tombs, fought beasts, obeyed a variety of tasks and found damned items in order to let someone out of jail. They’re intrigued and impressed to see such an individual to the point of confiding in me about their goals. I hand them poison.

It wasn’t personal or about their dreams. I just need their body. Now the person who gave me the poison thinks I’m on his side. I turn him in.

Now I can give a nice lady a hawk and continue to hangout with a cool witch guilt free because somehow I’m still to be trusted. All this chaos because I actually I just want a sword, cool hat, and ice/astral powers.

[nowis-scales]

Lol, Tobin is having none of your shit, Alm

Also, this has sparked a new headcanon that Tobin is the relationship advice guy in the friend group. Bonus points for him not actually having any experience, but just being logical and considerate enough that he helps people get by.

Well I don’t see you offering it, Gray. Not that I think you know much about women anyway, given your whole thing with Clair and all

Where did Tobin say that?! You pulled that out of your butt, dude. Not that it's a bad point, but it's not entirely relevant to what Tobin said. It's more so relevant to whatever themes the game wants to portray.

Oh boy, if only there were some way that both Alm and Celica could lead… wouldn’t it be just great if they had like, crushes on each other, or something? Haha, just kidding… unless? 👀

I can’t decide whether this can be counted on the SOV sexism counter or not. Cause like on the one hand, I do think it makes sense for them to be suspicious of Conrad, but I feel like there’s good reason to heed these things when they’re majorly environment-based.

Also the NPCs told me the same thing so like… I kind of have that bias here, I’ll admit

Find it interesting that they went for a bridal carry right here

Okay yeah, if something like this doesn’t happen to Alm sometime soon, I am putting this on the sexism counter. Like, of our two protagonists, the woman is the one who makes the “bad” decision (common for FE), and then has to be told by a man to not let her “petty emotions” get in the way. You know. Cause women are petty and overemotional.

Faye, sweetie, I know you care about Alm, but time and place. It’s also hilarious considering that to my knowledge, Faye doesn’t even dislike Celica. She just really likes Alm. Faye’s just trying to get her in wherever she can.

Still think she probably needs some therapy though, the poor dear. I think the trauma theory fits her best, personally… I’m gonna have to write Blood-Splattered Child: Faye Edition, aren’t I?

[jones-friend]

I picked up Inscryption on a whim and I’m sure glad I did! This game was fascinating and while its not perfect I highly recommend playing it, especially if you’re a card game enjoyer. Its an atmospheric experience with a lot I’ll try not to spoil, so I’ll be showing pictures from Act 1. If you’re on the fence stop reading here and go pick it up.

In Inscryption you press continue on a game cartridge and wake in a woodsman’s cabin. Its ominous, dark, and a figure who’s eyes you’re able to see speaks to you teaching you a game. Its played with positioning, sacrifice, and bones clawing your way to victory.

In a very dm-esque way the figure across from you runs you through a trail a la slay the spire, choosing different events and making decisions on your deck. I found the mechanical choices to be fascinating: deleting a card to put its trait on another, fusing two of the same, acquiring tribal carvings that give the same animal a trait. The first act is absolutely dripping with flavor, the figure across from you donning masks for the npc’s you meet and fight, and the moods of the woodsman’s cabin are some of the best I’ve seen in a video game. Its jumpscareless horror, my favorite. The game also doesn’t explain everything to you in ways that work, letting you discover mechanics with a sense of horror.

Then your cards start talking to you and get you on a kind of point and click adventure around the woodsman’s cabin like some kind of escape room puzzle. When you lose the figure takes a “death card” picture of you to assist you in later runs. Or not.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

This section of Inscryption was absolutely my favorite, and its telling they made an endless mode update for it. If you beat this section you find out there’s three acts. Act two becomes a pixel art jrpg deckbuilder that really wants to be a cursed 16bit game. It mixes four “scrybes” of strategy together with bones, moxes, and energy. I had a harder time with this section and did not enjoy it, it made me miss the moods from act 1. Act 3 is the desk again with a computer npc this time. You’re now playing P03’s game, who was trapped in the stoat card. Its similar to the room structure in Binding of Isaac moving room to room for goodies and fights. The game gets deleted leading to a sequence I felt was quite good, playing Leshy and losing game elements yet continuing was fascinating. Like when the scales disappeared and he declares “we just wont play for points”. Good things here. One aspect I did not like was the live action bits. I felt much of the game worked even if I did not personally enjoy them, but I felt the live action bits were just bad. I feel they’re entirely skippable. Hit da bricks. Misguided and silly.

I have three categories for why you should watch/play something. 1: its genuinely good. 2: this is a flawed thing but it has good bits to it. 3: its so bad its hilarious. Inscryption is firmly in the second category. I don’t think act 2 and 3 hold up as well, but act 1’s moods are so thoroughly powerful and ominous I can’t not love it. I’m absolutely spending time late at night playing Leshy’s horrible roguelike card game making ponderous choices as he straps on new wooden masks. If the entire game was spent in act 1, and you were playing a cursed card game with a murderer while exploring their house for an escape, this would be top tier category 1. That being said. The rest of the game isn’t bad. Not by any means. It just doesn’t hold up as well as that first act. So if you enjoy yourself magic the gathering, yugi oh, hearthstone, or even artifact you should delve into Inscryption. You’ll be glad you did.

[crystalelemental]

“books-are-my-life-stuff: Oh yeah, Morty is definitely popular, but...I don't think he's top 3 popular, y'know? If he's at 5th or 6th, that makes a lot more sense, he's below Lillie, May, Blue, Cynthia, and possibly Steven and N (if Steven gets lodge alt and N gets an alt in Villain Arc). And yeah, Leaf hasn't gotten an alt for a damn long time. Which is sad because she's my top 3 favorite female protags below Serena and Kris...“

Right?  Like there’s a pretty clear heirarchy overall.  Though Steven’s also only at four.  I do think it’s only a matter of time before Steven and Morty get into the Lodge, though.  Also, fantastic taste in female protagonists.  I really like Leaf’s design, she’s up there with Dawn and Serena for me, but I do like Kris personality-wise a bit better so I think Leaf’s #4 overall in my book.  Still up there, though.

“Oh right, Alola is like how Johto used to be prior Villain Arc, I also didn't realize it until now. Maybe that will change during Villain Arc, but that'll take a while... At least they have two Master Fairs to compensate that somehow...? Either way, it's still pretty sad.”

It’s really sad, but also who would get a PokeFair?  People are hoping Gladion for the Alola Pride, so I guess the protagonists in the VA?  I’d personal hope for Acerola, maybe Nanu.  Kahili if I can be super greedy.

“Uh...wow, even after knowing the formula of the calculation, I still don't understand. So, Gym Leaders and NPCs aren't supposed to get higher treatment, and when they do, they automatically get higher points...is that what they meant? That's kinda baseless to be honest... I'm still confused how they come into that decision...”

Basically, if I have it right, it’s like this.   They assigned point values 1-5 for the rarity of an alt, with 1 being F2P, up to 5 as a Master Fair.  PokeFair is 4, Seasonal 3, and general pool 5* is 2.

Then they assigned a value for the trainer class, with Champion, Rival, and Protagonist being 5, E4 being 4, Gym Leader/NPC 3.  I don’t know if they had anything at a 1 or not, but the idea is the less “significant” a character is, the lower down the list they are on that scale.

To calculate that number, they take the rarity and divide by character type.  If the number is 1 or greater, the character is considered favored.  If less than 1, they’re being under-valued.

What this results in is Lillie and Morty, at a value of 3 for NPC/Gym Leader respectively, getting absolutely blasted for having a Master Fair and PokeFair respectively.  Lillie gets 5/3 = 1.67, and Morty gets 4/3 = 1.33.  They’re a bit watered down because other alts exist, but it’s not by much.  Comparatively, Red getting a Master Fair is 5/5 = 1.  A much, much lower modifier.  Meanwhile, Blue is lower than Red because he’s only had at most a 4/5 = 0.8, which is being undervalued.  Hilariously, note that Cynthia has two goddamned Master Fairs, two PokeFairs, and is only #5.  Because all of those are “deserved” based on her Champion status.  But somehow.  SOMEHOW.  May ranks above Cynthia, despite never having a single Master Fair.  Note that Hoenn has about as much representation as Sinnoh, so it sure isn’t overall regional pool to draw from either.  And it can’t be because of a free unit from the Lodge, because May’s got that too.  I could use that as an explanation of Steven being above her, because nothing he has is below seasonal, but May is apparently higher than Cynthia despite having a general pool and a free alt among her five.

All it is, is a measure of what characters they think deserve stuff.  Saying a character’s class is a 5 is equivalent to saying they deserve a Master Fair, and if they don’t have one, they’re being under-appreciated and will be rated lower.  Meanwhile, anyone who isn’t a protag, Champ, or Rival has allegedly no business getting a Master Fair, so they rank higher.  It’s insane.  Especially considering protagonists as part of this, given how many are silent.  They don’t fucking talk!  Why should they be considered high-tier priority favorites?  My favorite bit is how this is naturally going to skew data into “Look at how under-valued the male protagonists are :(” despite the fact that realistically, you’re talking about a character with 0 dialogue outside of this game, and effectively nothing to stand on to achieve popularity, so of course they’re not safe bets.  This blows my mind.

[stasisarbiter]

Volume 4 of Maerwyn's adventures

- This molemeat merchant AGAIN! Why can't we just ice him? - Mutamix Bubblypots is an amazing name - I wonder what he looks like under the mask - I love the way he speaks, but it's kind of hard to follow - Oh shit things have durability? Only just realized, hmm I wonder how much it costs to repair things, should I repair as I go? or wait til somethings almost broken? - These TP envelopes to the HQ are really helpful since there isn't a nearby aetheryte - Triple crossed! Wait, no, quadruple crossed?! - The Amalj'aa look rad, too bad they aren't a playable race - I think we're fighting Ifrit? Holy shit he looks rad - I belong to someone else? Crystal lady? Or I'm godless apparently? - So it puts me with NPCs, but canonically I fought Ifrit solo? Wild - Does Thancred literally ever arrive on time? - Mister #1 Punchable Face appears again - God, everytime I see Minfilia I just want her to put on a real shirt - Oof, executing tempereds - Wonder who Louisoix is, if he was around for the Bahamut calamity, he's probably one of the people in the opening cinematic? - There's a broken staff behind Minfilia, given it's prominence it probably belonged to Louisoix, so it probably is him in the cinematic (and the meme) - Lol Tataru's/Lalafell panic emote is hilarious - That... is not what I expected Alphinaud(?) to sound like. (Only know his name cause of Xenopostings) - WAIT SAM RIEGEL?! I don't think I'll ever be able to take Alphinaud seriously now - Will never get over how cute Nanamo looks riding his arm - What do you mean at a glance? We were in the same cart. - I know they're twins but man they look identical - Gonna be spending 1500~ Gil to TP around to the various speeches but it's not as if I'm spending it on anything else atm anyway. - Oof, the twins be hella snarky, not a good first impression on me (as a personality, not as characters) - Of the two speeches I've heard so far, I prefer the Immortal Flames over the Twin Adders, let's see what Miss Unpronounceable name and the Maelstrom have got - Limsa Lominsa is such a dumb name to say - Perhaps it's my bias for naval references and themes, or that the Admiral is pretty but I like the Maelstrom a lot - Post scene in the Quicksand, I like Alisaie much more than Alphinaud but we'll see as the story develops! - LOL they're named Biggs and Wedge? - What do you mean I have to collect badges to get a chocobo?

CHOCOBO ACQUIRED!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

You've played Cafe Enchante?! What are your thoughts on the characters?

[Referencing this post!]

For the sake of brevity (and to avoid major story spoilers), I’m only going to talk about my first impressions of the 5 potential love interests/routes (and not the side characters!)!

Canus Espada — Good-natured and protective knight...................... OTL This may come as a shock to many readers, but I once had normal tastes 😂 and went for the kind, protective, and princely types instead of the unhinged killers with fake smiles and Canus definitely fits that bill. The armor’s sometimes over-the-top (especially when he wears it out in public), but I actually think it helps lend humor to his overly polite personality. I also think it’s just hilarious that he has no face so without context, you look at his CGs and just see nothing. Overall, a very good boi that takes me back to my roots of being normal...

Ignis Carbunculus — Probably my least favorite in both personality and in appearance. Every time I looked at his true form, I couldn’t help but see muscular human Grim but with red flames instead of blue... so that association definitely made me think of Ignis as less of a bachelor and more of a pet animal or something???? I’m also generally not a fan of Ignis’s stubbornness or his hot headedness. The best thing about him is the “nyan” on his human form’s shirt xmdbjsvshsvshe

Kaoru Rindo — Definitely not the usual type of character I go for (bcbdjsbsns like he visibly looks a little older), but since barely anyone else in the cast is actually a calm and responsible gentleman (the general type of character that I like), Kaoru by comparison instantly shoots up into the top 3. He has a mature charm to him, and I love how seriously he takes his job (but he’s still willing to pause here and there to have a little laugh). The suit and gloves net Rindo bonus points 👌

Il Fado de Rie — He’s quite pretty, but I think his outfit is a bit overdone for my tastes. Generally, long haired and winged characters aren’t really my thing; it just looks impractical and take up a lot of space I know, look at me thinking of practicality in a fantasy romance game/s shsjsbsjbeedcsszsgyt I can definitely relate to Il in terms of his interests, but Il just falls a bit short for me. His personality is too soft and subdued for my liking, and I don’t find it attractive that he is constantly babied by the rest of the cast. I’d find Il to be a good friend, but not someone I’d fall in love with.

Misyr Rex — Misyr is what I call “Malleus but if Malleus was more interesting”. 🤔 In case you don’t know, Malleus is easily my least favorite character in TWST (and that’s including minor characters and NPCs), but Misyr basically fixes a lot of the personal gripes I have with Malleus. In essence, they’re both overpowered royals with a mysterious air about them. However, whereas I find Malleus to be too brooding (whether in a childish way or in a “I will strike you down with lightning” way), Misyr is amicable and delights in teasing and offering to tear others apart. Another difference is that while Malleus is built up to be a super strong baddie that can one shot his foes and has little to no weaknesses, Misyr actually needs to rely on others to support his spells and even demonstrates fatigue after using his magic. Admittedly, I find Misyr’s design to be middle-of-the-road, but I enjoy how he just uses his fantastical powers to do mundane things. He looks like he’s loving life, and I really like him for that.

[the-chosen-none]

An appreciation post for some underrated Fallout 1 characters...

1. Loxley from the Thieves’ Circle!

Possibly a controversial choice so I’m putting him first. He’s tucked away in a little corner of the Hub so a lot of you might not know who he even is, basically he’s like if an Elder Scrolls character got teleported to the Fallout universe by accident and he set up his own knockoff Thieves’ Guild.

I know many people including the devs themselves don’t like him for clashing with the more grounded tone of the rest of the game, but I don’t know man I think he’s funny. The idea that in the middle of this post-apocalyptic landscape there’s this random guy LARPing as Robin Hood is hilarious to me, and one of the devs confirming that his British accent is totally fake makes him even better. He’s trying so hard to look cool. What a dork! I wish there were more than one quest with him.

2. Laura from the Followers of the Apocalypse!

She doesn’t have much to do so there’s not much to say about her, I just think she’s neat. A lot of her charm comes from the line delivery of her voice actress, Kath Souchie, first she starts off with a saccharine tone when she’s in spy mode and then when she drops the act she’s just so done with everyone’s shit. Laura seems like she’d be a cool person to hang out with.

3. Cabbot from the Brotherhood of Steel!!

He looks a little sinister cause his eyes are perpetually shadowed but he’s actually pretty sweet. Sure, he doesn’t tell you about how dangerous the Glow quest is but he’s just so darn polite when he talks to you that you don’t even care. My hc is that Cabbot hoped nobody would be stupid enough to actually try it. 

He’s especially cute whenever he talks about how he’s studying to become a Scribe (which you mostly have to find out with the Tell-Me-About), you get the feeling that this big guy isn’t really comfortable in the power armor and he’d rather be studying. How many players joined the Brotherhood just so they could talk to him some more, I wonder?

4. Razor from the Blades!

(She’s the one in the leather jacket in the first pic, I know it’s really small)

Anyway, she’s definitely my favorite non-talking head NPC, although the concept art to the right seems to suggest she was supposed to get one but since the devs were running out of time towards the end they couldn’t implement as many talking heads as they wanted. It’s too bad, I would have loved to hear Razor’s pure rage voice-acted.

Her similar character design to Nicole in the concept art and the commonalities between their roles make me wonder if she was supposed to be seen as a darker counterpart to Nicole. They’re both the leaders of groups in parts of Los Angeles who get dunked on repeatedly by pretty much everyone else around them, but despite their hardships they still have hope of helping the people around them... except they have COMPLETELY different ways of accomplishing their goals.

Although Nicole and the Followers will defend themselves if necessary and will have a few of them help you storm the Cathedral if you ask, for the most part they’re all about peace and spreading knowledge; Razor, on the other hand, will lead the Blades (and Gun Runners) to ANNIHILATE the Regulators in Adytum to free the people under their control and get their revenge, if you help, that is.

I may be looking too deep into things and maybe Nicole and Razor aren’t supposed to be seen as mirror images, since I don’t think they even mention each other, but it’s something I noticed.

I may do another one of these for Fallout 2 characters eventually, but I haven’t explored as much of it through multiple playthroughs yet since it’s so much bigger, so that’ll have to be for a different time.

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

SPOILERS AND ASSUMPTIONS FOR CAMPAIGN 1!

OKAY, let me start by categorising what spoilers I know as best I can, going (mostly) in chronological order AFAIK:

Clarota betrays them (VERY sad, when I first watched those first 10-ish episodes I was fully behind Keyleth’s ‘trust him’ train)

Vax loses a foot to lava and also his snake belt rip

Kima and Allura are the cool, trustworthy PCs, as is everyone’s favourite, Gilmore, a shopkeep with a black belt in karate

The dragonborn guy’s homeland gets dunked on and then later he dies offscreen

Percy’s sister is alive and betrays them but only kind of? I think? She was held captive by the Briarwoods for years and Percy thought she was dead, but she was blackmailed/brainwashed/tortured?

Vax gets cornered by the Briarwoods alone by accident (classic)

There’s a chick called Ripley who makes guns A Thing for the wider world

Something about a sun tree? It’s a creepy tree? They hallucinate their own corpses on it? Or something?

They probably kill one of the hottie vampires at the end of Percy’s arc, I think the male one? Because the lady vampire shows up later?

Percy dies in his arc and it’s the second res ritual they do, after Pike’s one pre-stream

“Take off the mask, darling.” I still don’t care about romance but I feel obligated to mention that I know that famous line

I also know the equally famous “I thought he’d never leave” bubble bath bit, ah Laura

There’s a CHROMA CONCLAVE attack right at the end of Percy’s arc, somewhere

Rashian is a dragon or something, everyone laughs at Liam for not knowing this. I know nothing else about who the Chroma conclave is (3-5 chromatic dragons??? One of each colour????) or what they want, except Vax levels up in the middle of fighting one and Keyleth yells at one

There are communication earrings. There is also a weird black powder man. Victor?

They actually have a permanent home/keep unlike the Mighty Nein?

Vex dies because Percy didn’t check for traps, this is the start of some deal of Vax’s with the Raven Queen which means he multiclasses into paladin?

Vax can fly, he can fly, he can fly!

Uhhhh there’s a couple cursed swords or something in there lol

Percy sells his soul briefly? Genius move Smart Guy lmao

Feywild??? Somehow????? They meet Artagan and make a deal with him for a doorway, and they spend an episode as cows somewhere in here?

Keyleth has Mom Trauma, I don’t know how much this will feature in the campaign

Vax and Vex’s dad suxxx or something, mother is dead

Scanlan hits on his surprise daughter and everyone screams

They have some kind of year long adventuring group break for some reason?

Keyleth makes a storm on an airship (???) and this is cool. Also she turns into a fire elemental a lot and this is also cool.

There’s a kraken fight? It goes really badly, like LEGENDARILY badly, and ngl I’m kind of looking forward to it

Scanlan #LOSESIT and has his legendary ‘what’s my mother’s name?’ rant, after which he leaves for an undetermined number of episodes and is replaced by Tary

This leads to Grog spelling C-A-T for some reason and this???? Makes people cry???????? Truly something you had to be there for

Pike tries to commission drawings of VM for Tary (who calls Vex “little elf girl” and braces for impact when Laura’s nostrils flare) and this goes Very Wrong in a funny way

Tary’s dad sucks

He writes a book

Some NPC reads said book in campaign 2, hence why I know about it

Grog has an arc to do with the other Goliaths who beat him up for defending Pike’s dad?

When Scanlan comes back he tries to sneak in, Vex chases him and he panics and casts modify memory on Vex, it fails several times, an angsty moment becomes comedic very fast

He is received with Mixed Emotions lmao

Keyleth turns into a goldfish and kills herself, this is both apparently extremely painful and extremely funny

Vax gets disintegrated and dies in a beholder fight (rip)

Gilmore is not a dragon but everyone was fully convinced he was. He also gets bodysnatched or something at some point to freak out VM, but they figure out very quickly it’s not him

Scanlan is Ioun’s chosen? Whatever that means, something to help fight Vecna I think

“It was an honour knowing you” sad! Sad! Sad line! Gilmore doesn’t understand, cheekily responds, and leaves!!!! Liam looks on the verge of tears!!!!!! SAD!!!!!

There are so many true love nat 20s. I don’t know what any of them are except that Pike has one and Ashley looks like she’s about to cry

They win the Vecna fight and Keyleth gets the HDYWDT, Scanlan wanted to save a Wish spell for Vax but couldn’t, so he stays dead

Everyone cries here but at least the rest of the party is okay

Keyleth is the last woman standing and everyone cries at this too

And then Grog uses the deck of many things, spawning two oneshots to clean up his mess

Also somewhere in here Vex steals a broom from a guest (lol)

Assumptions!!!!!

More tears than campaign 2 I think, since there are at least two resurrection rituals we see on screen that I know of

The fights might be more stressful since they’re higher level?

Scanlan is going to be the most sexual and lewd character because he is played by Sam

Vex is going to be the second most sexual and lewd character because she is played by Laura

Vax will still instigate most of the one-on-ones so Liam can have as many heavy conversations as his theatre kid’s heart desires

Keyleth will try and fail to make the group more moral

Pike will not try to be moral at all despite being four feet of blessed armour and adorable hair

I think other characters try to make Percy feel remorse for Murder Reasons, but I suspect he’s not going to feel that guilty (I will likely support him in murderous endeavours unless they are FAR more messed up than I currently believe)

From what I understand Grog is Loveable but not hugely layered or complex, and I know Travis was proud he didn’t cry this campaign. I suspect I may be surprised at the character depth Travis gives him, however.

Keyleth also thinks the gods are overrated and I AGREE

Percy is three feral and eldritch raccoons in a trench coat, held together only by sheer force of will and the fragile shell of a posh accent. No one notices because it’s a really cool accent.

There will be a lot more money/shopping/drinking elements than in campaign 2, since I know Vex is a haggler, Percy is a Lord, and Keyleth is a day-drinker? As are Grog and Scanlan

It will be funny for me to see Taliesin play a smart character and Travis a dumb one, though I know that the whiplash went the other way for most people lmao

Vox Machina will be less team-heavy than the Mighty Nein? I gather they’re more of an ‘individual hero’ makeup than an ‘everyone has support abilities’ makeup

It will be more fast-paced than campaign 2? It seems like a lot of the arcs lead directly into each other, with only the occasional shopping episode break

It feels like it might be less friendship heavy than the Mighty Nein? Like they seem more like ‘we’d die for each other’ pals who otherwise spend all their time trying to draw dicks on each other’s faces

They have a more clear “party leader” than the Mighty Nein, who might be Percy and/or Keyleth

I think most PCs and NPCs are more morally clear cut than in campaign 2, like most towns and people in positions of power are either “cool guy who can pitch in” or “get rid of this abomination immediately” territory

I think my favourite character will be Vex, Percy or Keyleth. I just feel it in my bones. 

I think I may also get an extreme soft spot for Grog and Pike, however

My main sources of surprise will be, I think, how things fit together? Like I have no idea WHY they’re in the Feywild, or most other places really, or what any villains’ motivations and backstories and personality traits are, and how they end up fighting any of them in any particular place for any particular reason. I don’t even really know characters’ abilities or literally anything done in any of the fights, aside from “they win/nearly die” and “Scanlan uses Wish and Bigby’s Hand against Vecna”

I assume most plot threads all lead into each other fairly solidly and that they don’t actually seek most of their stuff out?

This assumption will either be fairly right or hilariously wrong, but -- I assume that I already know almost everything important or shocking? I tried really hard to avoid it but being active in campaign 2 meant that over time I got exposed to more and more of campaign 1, and I genuinely believe that I have almost everything down, if not details or order. I don’t think I’ve missed any big moment or impactful arc

Let’s see if I’m right