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#and the one i really want is taken by someone who hasnt been active since 2018
foxgirlplushie · 6 months
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I kinda wanna change my url
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uselessheretic · 3 years
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ok hot take but also i feel like the "ao3 needs as much money as possible bc theyre the last stand for fanfic rights and at any moment everything can be lost just like it was a decade ago" feels so... similar to the fear propagated by the state to defend anti terrorism initiatives or over policing. which i am not saying that these are the same things (fandom is just fandom in the end lol) but the way that this side of fandom is majority white women and kinda falling for the same line of thought is just...?
bc it is similar to the "we are the last stand against freedom and at any moment your lives can be taken away" based off of past threats where this "last stand" doesnt even fucking do anything.
but the inability to question anything with ao3 is just soooo weird where its viewed as questioning the right for fandom to exist. people see ao3 as the only thing protecting fandoms ability to exist and that they are the single thing keeping creators at bay from purging all fandom when forreal and actually? that hasnt been a threat for the last decade. the culture around fanfiction has changed since then where creators are more eager to see fans engage with it and encourage it. the handful of ones who dont are treated as a minority and kinda actively shamed. you really cant do an anne rice nowadays and not get a shit ton of backlash, not just from fans, but other creators too. like dude... if youre pitching books to agents they actually encourage you to mention if youve written fic because it shows how you engage with an audience 😭
that doesnt mean fic is safe with no threat against it, but the lack of action taken against fic isnt because of ao3... its just bc the climate has changed and ppl who were fans in the 90s are creators today
but again its a culture of "you cant question ao3 about ANYTHING or youre jeopardizing fanfiction" which is definitely bc of the weird polarization of proship/anti stuff that impacts shit thats not even relevant dndjdkdjdn like? wanting the site to update its tagging system, add the ability to save filters, block users, have a better response to harassment, actively state that it does not condone racism and bigotry, get rid of the invite system, etc etc isnt anything that really has to do with ship shit but its taken as Anti Stances which is fucking wilddddd
god or the whole... real minors having nsfw rpf of them thing (🤢) it was kinda wild to see proshippers reactions to it because from what i could see by going thru the qrts and blocking freaks...... most of them also thought it was fucking weird and shouldnt be a thing. which makes sense that the line between anime porn vs "wait but thats a kid???" is clear to even terminally online folks, but then ao3 refused to change it so instead of pushing back they just let it go. so it becomes another thing you cant question or else its threatening ao3 and youre one of the enemies.
iont know man but remember when that girlie on twitter "published" an article about how antis are a cult in ao3s shitty lil "peer reviewed" journal and it was so so sooo bad and had zero sources? its just kinda funny how the inability to question authority, the us vs them, and the financial exploitation is like uhh a thing w proshippers lol????
anyways this is why i think white women are forming a whole fucking fandom qanon bc the amount of absolute batshit insane things ppl say claiming that there are discords full of children being groomed by antis, that proshippers are dying in mass, and that their creative freedom will be taken away if you say "its bad to be racist" so they donate hundreds and thousands of dollars to an organization that straight up doesnt need it? LIKE................ someone call susans loved ones and help her out of this 😭
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ive not been able to continue the novel for a while and even though its been months since i actively had to do with them, passively they were always at the back of my mind, talking. so, today i finally realized something about them i had been asking myself since forever.
i have always been wondering about zhou zishu’s trauma, the peculiar pain he carries specifically in tian ya ke, that is related, somehow, to the fact that he worked for someone very powerful and to the fact that he wasnt free doing it. im very glad i read qi ye first, but unfortunately, a lot of stuff I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO KNOW was just glimpsed over, very cleverly, by priest, resulting in amassing to an entire novel that is actually just about all this but not explaining any of it upfront because actually it is just a background conflict and not what tian ya ke is about. and now i have just all these questions, and they are not going anywhere, and in tian ya ke zhou zishu hasnt actually turned into an open book either. so. circling back. there must be something else, something i hadnt been able to truly grasp, something that actually made it not just uncomfortable for zhou zishu as it can get in his line of work, dealing with powerful employes, but traumatic. and im aware of this and i was pretty much very early aware of is, i practically went with this awareness into tian ya ke, BUT I DONT KOW WHAT IT IS I DONT KNOW HOW IT IS ALL CONNECTED. WHAT IS IT. WHAT. and today i think, i finally got it! because, his former job wasnt for just any powerful employer, as i previously had deduced by itself to be the reason, it was for the government itself, the government. the very same person who employed him, an unruly and free-spirited lowlife from the jianghu, with secretly murdering the crown prince onto the throne and secretly form tian chuang as his governmentally approved, private army. the knowledge from zhou zishu, the potential of blackmail material he has, against helian yi specifically. and it isnt that he is dangerous for what he can do here, it is that he is dangerous for what he knows, to the ruling class and its ruling cherry on top of it. and i suspect that he doesnt feel all that comfortable with that form of knowlede, of the weight of institutional power generally, full stop. and i dont think he cares about all of that, not really, not truly, anyway. he is doing it for someone else, he is doing it for the country, and he is getting something out of that he deems important to him, but it is not about the institutional position he holds, not actually. which means, he is in way over his head. the burden he carries. a weight he didnt truly want, didnt truly need, doesnt actually care about at all. so, and the second fact about his freedom while working in this position, the second thing that makes all of this as traumatic as its been, in the end. he wasnt as autonomous working there as he would have liked, because of course, if you work for the government even as an ordinary official, you have signed your life away, quite literally. zhou zishu has no saying in that matter AND OFC he would EVEN go along with it, it is how the job is being done, it is how you assure success, be the chameleon and appease powerful people to secretly slice their lives out from under them, go along with whatever antics your employer has and act at having manners for a while, to get the job done, for the bigger picture, he is a professional after all. but also, quite simply, he cant afford offending the crown prince. he is already in too deep, it is already too late for that. his life wont ever be the same ever again, now that he is has taken up a job at the palace, now that he knows the crown prince and the crown prince knows him. there is a chapter in qi ye that is VERY interesting in that regard. which means in conclusion, he was in way over his head here as well. there is nothing he hates more than being chained down. it is one thing to take up a disguise and play official at the palace, it is another being chained down in this position and forced to become one. its not the way he is built, its not how he is meant to be, its not how he likes to do his work. its not how he knows it to be and how he had previously done it or planned to continue doing it. it is not him. there is no freedom, there is no autonomy, there is no fun to it. all the things he was getting out of it, previously, are not worth it, are absolutely not worth it, are so much not worth it in the long run. so, ofc he disables himself and puts his life on a deadline to take it back, take it back into himself and disappears, reclaiming everything he handed away, just like that, like it was nothing to him by giving himself a second chance, by ensuring he himself holds the key to it forever and ever and ever, and never never never again can it become any differently ever, again. this is very fascinating by itself because by that, he ALSO ensures that not even if he himself would change his mind, at some point down the lane, he could do anything about it. all his smarts have gone into that one solution, there are no more smarts left to give. he knows the choices he made werent the best, so maybe he should stay on his guard about his own judgement in matters that have a weight, in matters that could suddenly turn around and make him absolutely miserable.
this is...very fascinating to me, personally, and highly relatable.
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1990jeevas · 3 years
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Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!
okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo
disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited
tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops
going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!
so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!
so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.
now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.
speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.
moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"
so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:
Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.
Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously
Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him
Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away
Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else
when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.
whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo
generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.
also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.
edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!
now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]
so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!
um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:
cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him
paints nails various different colors
the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc
gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)
comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)
moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.
so, let's start with good things!
i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol
mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.
that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,
namely:
dizzee and thors first kiss
the lack of development this pairing got
the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders
the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not
dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????
now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.
so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????
also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it
so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.
the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)
and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.
during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.
so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol
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rowanelliis · 4 years
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hey hi hello i’m SLATER ( they/them ), twenty-five, currently living my worst life on the left coast ( pst ). i bring to you my twitchy, lonely son, ROWAN. he’s a part-time antique lover, part-time dishwasher, full-time ghost whisperer. ( or something like that,, we’ll get to it later. ) he fills the alone ranger plot, and you can find his bio/questionnaire HERE  &&  some quick stats HERE. follow me under the cut for a TL;DR bio and wanted connections !! @phqextras​
oh hello again ! as promised, here is the summarized bio, bc i get that it’s long and you have shit to do. that said ! if possible, i would really love if you read THE BIO before/instead of this. it’s just,,, better. and better is better.  anyway, here we go !
rowan was born in pleasance to a 22 yo anita ellis and a father who bounced shortly thereafter, but we don’t care about him
he sees dead people! always has. they vary in shape from faded human to amorphous eldritch horror, and they’re supremely unhelpful. they mostly dont talk and the ones who do dont really answer what youre saying, they just say whatever they want. they moan a lot tho. its annoying. he hates them. kinda.
anita was a fraudulent fortuneteller and genuine psychic. she just knew stuff. rowan figures whatever he is, he got it from her.
he loves her sm guys. she was the mf BEST MOM. we’re talking blanket forts. we’re talking homemade stews. we’re talking going to alby’s to try on outrageous outfits they couldn’t afford and then shoplifting some little treasure to delight rowan with on the way out. the BEST.
when he was eleven, he spent an afternoon in the sequoia grove and when he got back he learned that to everyone else, hed been missing for five days
so that was a whole thing
following a years-long downward spiral of her mental health, anita showed up at rowans high school in the midst of a full-on psychotic episode. he was taken away by cps almost immediately and sent to a group home a couple towns over.
when he got back to pleasance at eighteen, she was gone. missing, not dead.
since then hes been devoted to the cause of finding her but its been eleven fucking years and no one else seems to care so he do get down abt it sometimes
his main theory is that it has something to do with the sequoia grove. he thinks that maybe whatever happened to him as a kid happened to her, but on a larger scale.
he currently lives in the house that he grew up in and that his grandparents built, a giant ugly thing that hasnt been updated in any way since the 70s
hes bad at holding a job. hes bad at feeding himself. hes bad at sleeping. hes bad at forming and maintaining relationships. basically, hes bad at being an adult human.
ok so maybe he doesnt see ghosts. maybe his mom wasnt psychic. maybe theyre just crazy. that is a possibility. but its also possible its true. you dont know. leave him alone
ok now the fun part ! here are some connections id like to see for rowan:
actual friends (one or two, three TOPS. hes a loner ok)
i honestly debated whether i wanted him to have any close friends at all but yknow what! hes been in this town for nearly 30 damn years he can treat himself to a friend or two. these would be people who believe him, or at least have an open mind. they could be from way back or more recently. just people he’s comfortable around, and maybe goes to specifically for comfort. he needs a lot more of that than he’s getting.
hookups (past or present)
i think hes kind of slutty?? not in any active kind of way, hes definitely not aggressive or even confident, but he’s so starved for affection that i think he’d have a hard time saying no to anyone offering it. his sexuality is Undeclared but Not Straight, so he’s up for grabs. he’s also weak for...... how do you say..... les milfs. i mean he would never use that word but it is what it is. mommy issues doesnt even begin to cover it. on a related note! if your character is on the amoral side of the spectrum, this guy would be wildly easy to manipulate. just like, brush his hair with your fingers or call him good or whatever. he’s Weak.
exes (maybe one serious, no more than a couple more casual)
here are some great reasons to dump rowan:
will not remember your birthday or anniversary or anything
obsessed w his mom
sometimes sleeps with his eyes open which is creepy as Fuck
usually broke
lives in that fucking house
kissed someone else at your birthday party bc they had really pretty eyes and were standing really close and kinda smiled at him and he got overwhelmed
routinely talks to the air, sometimes aggressively. thinks hes covert abt it. is not.
love interests (look im not actually into planning ships it just felt fair to rowan to balance this out a little)
here are some great reasons to date rowan:
will never, ever laugh at you or make you feel small
will give small, thoughtful gifts for no reason
cute floppy hair, doe eyes
once he feels safe with you, he will do anything for you, any time, forever
lives in that fucking house
you never knew a kiss could make you feel so wanted
maybe he’s special, you know? maybe he’s just something special
( ok that was gay ! now back to your regularly scheduled programming )
people who think he’s crazy (as many as possible tbh)
i know weve got a lot of believers here but honestly,,, even among believers i think hes kind of an outcast. the mf talks to himself. there are like 8 agreed upon stories around town and hes seen waaaaaay more ghosts than that. and non-belevers?? fuggedaboutit. i kinda see this as part of the reason he was rejected from the mystery gang. maybe someone it was like ‘ok im into checking this stuff out but that guys fucking nuts’. idk. what is life without struggle?? without conflict?? boring.
people who are using him for the story (whoever wants)
this could be a writer or reporter, but it could also just be someone whos interested in this kind of stuff. OR again, could be a non-believer who just thinks its entertaining to watch him. could be honest about their motives or straight up manipulating him into thinking theyre a friend or whatever. pretty open, i just think he would be a figure of interest to certain people.
someone who was present when his mom showed up at the high school (someones?)
this isn’t even a connection really so much as just A Thing I Want. i want someone who saw a tiny, angry-crying sixteen year old rowan drag his screaming mother down the hall of the science wing with their own two eyes. student, teacher, visiting alumni, parent or sibling who was at the school for some reason idk. maybe they pitied him and approached him later. maybe it was the thing that made someone decide hes a lost cause. it doesnt even have to ever come up. i just want someone to have that image in their brain. i want them to see it when they see what a mess he is now.
a final note! when rowan was a kid he was pretty open about the ghost stuff, mostly because his mom always believed him w/out question and he didn’t know it was something to hide. after the whole woods incident and the reaction of cps + the cops to his story, he learned to keep that shit to himself. unless he knows your character well, he probably wouldnt have discussed it w them directly. however! anyone around his age might remember the stuff he talked about as a kid or his mom showing up at the school (honestly that was dramatic enough the story may live on in the halls of nwhs today in some form or another). anyone around his moms age (40-50) might know how woo-y and sketchy she and her child were. there are certainly rumors about both of them. also, most people have probably seen him behaving strangely, ie. suddenly rerouting on the sidewalk to walk around what seems like nothing, telling something to fuck off under his breath, or just flitting his eyes over to a seemingly empty space over and over. he really does try to appear as normal as possible, but it’s difficult. i think most people see more than he knows, and more than he would like them to.
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minjoonalist · 5 years
Text
Predilection | Chapter Two.
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Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]
Words: 3.5k
Genre: Angst, eventual Smut, fluff 
Warnings : explicit wording
Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.
———
“So how’d it go?” Your best friend slings his bag over the chair next you.
You were spending your last free day in the school’s library to finish up on some homework and you couldn't help but feel bummed out. Before you had made the depressing decision to cram every note you’d managed to take in the last few days, you finally made the wise decision to seek out your professor and request a new housing like Taehyung suggested.
Your head rises from the open notebook, eyes squinted and your hair tied up in a messy bun, because you hated when it fell on your face as you read. You felt extremely tired, no thanks to the lack of sleep you got from your sudden anxiety and Taehyung’s slightly worried expression told you that maybe you looked worse than you felt.
“Huh?” you rasped sitting up.
“ I said how did it go? Y’know, operation ‘get rid of fuck boy duo’ ?” He raises a hand to pull a stubborn strand of hair behind your ear, a small desperate smile gracing his features.
You furrowed your brows in return, your eyes narrowing in on him when you start to notice his flustered state. He was sweaty, His hair was wild, lips swollen, and the dark purplish hue that was stuck on his collarbone made its appearance once he shuffled to take off a sweater you’ve never seen before.
“Oh right! Let's see..-he said no.” you pouted and shrugged at him. “I’m sorry Ms. y/n, but it's just too late for that. I’m sure all of you will pull through...That. That was his response.”
The look tae returns, only reminds you of the one you made when you received your rejection. Even when you’ve tried over and over to convince the man of the unhealthy nature that stood between you three, he would only continue to insist that you solve it on your own. It only left you with no choice but to accept your tragic fate.
“So he’s making you stay with Captain hook and Tinkerbell?! Thats fucking crazy-” he starts to rant, his anger spiking too high for the atmosphere. you didn't like whenever he got worked up like that, so you attempt to change the subject at hand.
“Tae the only thing that seems to be crazy right now, is how you came late to our study date, looking as if you’ve just ran a marathon.” you quirked your brow and if you thought that the man had seemed flustered before, then his face must’ve felt as hot as the sun by now. His cheeks went from a pinkish hue to completely red and you couldn't help but to simply giggle at his expense.
“Alright …” you stretched in your seat before turning towards him “who was it?”.
He glances away nervously from you, his bottom lip caught in between his teeth. You could say on some level you were completely shocked. Over all your years of friendship you’ve never known your best friend to be shy about spilling his latest activities with you and that included telling you who's poor soul it was. You knew that it had been awhile since he’s had sex and he hasnt really taken an interest anyone-...wait.
“Oh my god…” your eyes widen. The excitement in your voice makes him look up at you. A mixture of curiosity and fear seen within his eyes because he somewhat knew you had already figured it out. There was only one person he couldn't bring himself to act cool in front of and that was none other than- You look around, eyes searching for anyone who might be listening when you turn back to him and mouth ‘Min yoongi?’
Taehyung cringes before groaning out of frustration.
“I just wanted to talk!! How was I supposed to know he would fall for my hot ass-” he cries out dramatically until someone from afar has shushes him. He then sends a nasty glare towards their direction, only to come back towards you to finish “ and I didnt fuck anyone sadly, … I made out with them.”
“You mean him’ as in Min Yoongi?” you try to correct and get a better answer with full smirk on your face.
Taehyung pouts for a bit. “ You know I find other people attractive besides him.” he mumbles “ anyways don't you remember? I was a complete dumb bitch the last time I talked to him. I turned him down to talk about living arrangements-”.
Suddenly he sits up from his slouching position a shocked expression on his face as if he had just realized something.“Oh shit!” He springs forward.
“What? What's happening?” You shuffle back a little, scared by how frantic he looks all of a sudden.
“ I-I’ve got to go. I-I completely forgot that I’m going to be staying with my crush for an entire week!” he says quickly standing up from his chair and you watch as he quickly reaches for all of his items.
“Hey! where are you going? You just got here” you say a bit saddened by the sudden departure. He grabs his bag, slinging it back up onto his shoulders and comes to land a gentle kiss on your temple. He does this sweet gesture and begins to sprint away before you could say anything else-but not forgetting to yell “I need to pack cuter clothes for Yoongi hyung! Bye!”. you sit there in your spot only shaking your head in return.
“Um hello?” a light voice comes from your side.
With a deep smile still being placed onto your features, you don't pay no mind to it. You were still too busy watching your friend’s retreating figure as he rushes away from your teasing of his crush. While he may not have audibly confirmed who the handsy culprit was, his face certainly did and all you wanted to do, was gush for him.
“Right. I’m dumb and Im just gonna go fuck myself now…” the same voice chimes behind you again, except all confidence before had completey vanished and you finally noticed.
“Wait huh?” you then ask turning around from your spot only to be met with another retreating figure that had it’s hoodie up.
From first glance you could almost assume that they were someone you had seen before. Their walk, their shape, and maybe even just the way they were carrying themselves with grace - it all seemed too familiar to you and Immediately you feel guilty from their words. It sounded as if they had gathered so much strength to talk to you and all you did was Ignore their attempt.
Your head throbbed, eyes were droopy and you wanted nothing more than to go take a nice nap in your bed after all that studying. It had been approximately 3 hours since taehyung had left you to your own presence and you still wondered who the mystery figure was that tried to talk to you earlier.
You’re leaning over in your chair, your bag in front of you as you packed up your remaining items. Your eyes trains on the overstuffed case, when a white object is set down in front of your view. You snap slightly towards it, your mind immediately registering it as a small coffee to-go cup.
“Still spending your life in the library I see, huh nerd?” the voice comes out a bit hoarse as if it’s owner wasn't usually one to speak. But they did and you knew they did -but only to the ones they cared about. Funny that at one point it used to be you...
You could've grabbed everything and got up, hell you could have taken the damn coffee and chucked it at the miserable man that dare to speak to you as if everything was fine. But of course, because you were so damn weak and you couldn't control the shock that had you in it’s vice grip, you look up to the handsomely dark male that once called himself your best friend.
“Jungkook?” You breathed. Swallowing thickly, in your now suddenly dry throat. His tall yet lean figure, shifts slightly from hearing his name come out of your mouth and he simply sends you a small nod in return.
“Y/n.” he greets.
Jungkook wasn't surprised at the frown that immediately comes onto your face and he also wasn't surprised that you didn't notice his little peace offering.
“What are you doing here?” Was the exact question he had already braced himself for when he decided it was best to get to you before his boyfriend did. Not long after jimin’s little show, did he verbally express numerous times he was going to come after you despite what jungkook thought and it was only up to the man himself to at least warn you.
“Did you take a wrong turn or something?” Yet another question comes from you. You were beyond confused by the boy’s odd appearance as he stood watching you silently with a cold expression that was completely different from what you were used to. Even if you both had not been friends for years, never once before have you ever had jungkook look at you without some type of adoration in his eyes.
Until now.
He snaps out of his emotionless trance and comes to take the empty seat in front of you. “Its an Americano with three pumps of vanilla- thought you could use some.” he finally says quietly as the coffee cup in front of you is pushed further your way and you slowly raise a skeptical brow. You then sit back a bit, completely stranger to the man you used to cuddle whenever you felt like it. It was weird how close you could be with someone and then suddenly you werent. Even so, it amazed you that he stilled remembered your go-to coffee.
“Um thanks.” you nod reaching for it, but then hesitating to take a sip “you didn't poison this did you?” you asked narrowing your eyes.
Jungkook blinks momentarily at your question and once he takes in what exactly you asked him he sends you a flat look in return. “ No. I don't know about you, but I do want to get an A in this class. I think me, poisoning one of my partners would be a childish decision ” Jungkook says matter-of-factly and the way he sends you a cold glare while taking a sip of his own drink has you wondering just when did the man become so...bitter?
You take your gaze away from him and lower it back down towards your coffee, a slight blush on your cheeks. The grip on it becoming a bit tighter as you grit your teeth in irritation “I wouldn't call it childish” you mutter under your breath. He’d only been around for about 5 minutes and you were already thinking about poisoning him.
Jungkook takes note of your immediate irritation. You never noticed but the way his eyes suddenly glimmered from your deplore of his comment. It was sure enough a number one sign of his ill intentions and After a silence passes by, only then does his emotionless expression return just before he speaks.
“We need to talk about jimin.”
———
There were three things you were sure of the moment Jungkook had decided to confront you while at the library. One, the boy was still as loathsome as the day you both parted, Two you were definitely plotting his death by poison and three...you don't know what kind of overbearing confidence Jimin has been feeding the man over the years, but Jeon Jungkook was way too conceited for his own good.
Ten minutes pass the time you were supposed to be heading home, were the same ten minutes you were stuck watching Jungkook babble on to you about...well you didn't know because you weren't listening.
You blinked slowly.
The sight of the muted raven’s lips moving in a concentrated flow to create a very long speech you surely weren't listening to. While so, you took the time to notice the small features of the grown man that had changed over time. His hair had grown out past the usual short cut he always kept, the boyishly round jawline you were used to seeing had transformed into something that one could say was sharp, and his eyes...while they were now cold towards you, even a blind bat could tell that once they fell upon you with a loving warmth- it could make anyone fall to their knees.
Although you hated the man himself, you had to admit no amount of disliking could make you so oblivious to how completely hot he is now. Too bad those good looks had to be wasted on such a shitty person...
“-you're not even listening.” his voice finally registers in your ears and he watches as your once glazed eyes snaps into alertness.
“h-huh what?” you stutter while finally bringing your lost attention back onto him. Jungkook’s highly bothered gaze, stays on you and when he sees the confused expression that you give him in return. It only confirms his suspicions of you not listening to a damn thing he was saying.
“Attention deficit. Even now you wont pay attention to me. ” Jungkook then sighs, his body sliding down as he leans his head back into his chair.
This was a lot more annoying than he expected it to be.
“What's that supposed to mean?” Your brow furrows and you cross your arms at his sly comment. The last place that you wanted to be in this moment was in front of jungkook and he had the nerve to insult you right as you were sitting across from him?
Jungkook raises his head once again only to be met with a harsh glare from your point and Inside he mentally scolds himself for letting those words slip out his mouth. “Nothing.” He quickly replies just before leaning over and more towards you. “I know you don't want to talk to me right now...or ever and I can see you’re more than less thrilled about having to put up with both Jimin and I for a week. I don't like repeating myself, So for once could you please listen to me y/n?” He pleads another emotion besides irritation filling his eyes.
There it was again… you thought to yourself, noting the way jungkook seems to insinuate that you never listen to him and if it hadn't been for the fact that you wanted him out of your sight as soon as possible, you would have asked why he seems to keep the pattern. In- fact the longer you both were in each other’s company, the angrier you become and receiving an F’ for this project was seeming worth it to you. If this was the kind of person you would have to talk to everyday in order to get work done, there was no way any of you were going to pass.
“We need to talk about Jimin” he repeats the same phrase, he uttered only a few moments ago and This time, they actually pique your interest. You then quirk a brow in question, no reasons for why he would want to talk about the silver haired man coming to your head.
“Why? Flaunting him around in my face not doing it for you?” You ask rhetorically, not even attempting to hide the bitterness in your voice. This makes Jungkook narrows his eyes. The faintest smirk appearing on his lips but deep down there was that familiar pinch of emotion that he’d learned to keep at bay. Guilt
“You know green never looked good on you y/n.” He clicks his tongue.
“And being a dick isn’t a great personality trait.” your reply was quick as you attempt to hide the silent sting of his words. You then raise your chin high, feigning confidence “ speaking of- ...what the hell does your boyfriend have to do with me?” You ask finally giving into the evil gaze that probably wasn't going to budge anytime soon.
Jungkook takes a moment to look at you, seeing that you’re equally as harsh gaze had no falter. Brows furrowed, star gazed eyes narrowed into slits, and soft looking lips pursed into a thin line-...wait did he just call your lips soft? What the fuck.
He blinks to himself.
“Well?” You prod, completely unaware of his sudden turmoil.
Jungkook clears his throat “Well, I guess I’ll just start off with the obvious fact that you have a non-stop hard on for him.” he speaks, looking too sure of himself. He would have thought this would have been a bit easier to communicate with you, but somehow he found it hard to tell you that karma was basically kicking him in his ass.
“Every girl has those for jimin, jungkook-” you snort and he rolls his eyes.
“But they’re not like you...”
“How so?” you inquire, a brow still quirked skeptically towards him. Jungkook sighs again but a bit more audibly this time “ You’re just different. They don't have our past history- our relationship.”
“Right, because normal girl’s don't have their crushes sucked away by a snake best friend.” You conclude sarcastically and It comes out just as venomous as you wanted it to “ how lucky am I? ”
The right eye on jungkook’s face twitches and he bites back his winning anger. Why he hasn't gotten up from this table yet was beyond his comprehension, he usually didn't have this kind of patience- not even for Jimin. Maybe because he wants to have it for you.
“Well my boyfriend wants to fuck you in more ways than one…so I’d say pretty damn lucky.” Jungkook swallows, his bottom lip being caught in between his teeth.
You frown and the air in between you shifts just when you start to see unease within his features. It feels as if time has just slowed down, the subtle beating within your heart escalating at jungkook’s highly alarming confession and you try your best not to let your mouth hang open.
Your body freezes, eyes bulging out slightly as you look away in shock and then understanding. For a moment, you wanted to believe that what Jungkook was telling you was true- that the very man you’ve fantasized multiple times about has suddenly done the same for you. But of course you couldn't, only holding onto the silent fear that this was all just some sick joke he came up with to hurt you even more.
Your fists clench at you side. You felt anger spike through you, from the thought of the evil boy plotting harm to you. “That's it? that's why you’re here? To tell me that your little love slave suddenly has his eye on me? How dumb do you think I am?” You sneer at him, your words getting louder by the second and you forget that the both of you were currently situated within a library.
What ever reaction jungkook thought you were going to have towards this conversation, it wasn't one of anger. surprise, happy- maybe even a bit of relief, but he certainly never pictured you rising from your seat and leaning over the table with a look that could kill an army.
He shifts a bit.
“ Do you think I'm so desperate that I would just jump immediately at your word? I'm not naive, little y/n anymore Jeon” you couldn't help yourself, watching as jungkook blinks rapidly towards you.
“Y/n that's not-“ Jungkook frowns and he tries to calm you down, but you were too far gone.
“I'm not that little puppet you can manipulate. I was your friend and that's what you should have treated me as...what the hell did I ever do to you?” The words leave your mouth before you could even register it. It was a fair question, that always seem to plague your mind whenever you thought about this. You’ve asked him this before of course, but for some reason you could never seem to remember what it was that he told you. All you knew was that no matter what it was, there was just no excuse for ever hurting your friend like that.
A long silence goes by.
“Friend.” He simply repeats after a moment. “ y/n you weren't my friend. Friends hangout everyday, friends share laughs and listen to each other's problems or secrets. Friends don't ignore each other’s entire existence when they wanted them most. Friends don't let the other fall while they take a step back…” By then Jungkook had slowly risen out of his seat as well, his speech strong with emotion until the last part had become so low you’ve completely missed it.
However that wasn't your worry, what registered with you most, was the pain his eyes bore into you -as if he wanted you to see everything that he’d kept inside all these years. If that it-self wasn't distracting then maybe it was the fact that jungkook had copied your stature without thinking it through fully. While he leaned over the table - his face only a few mere inches away, it dawns on you quickly that he was way too close into your personal space.
Even knowing so, you still wouldn't budge because you refused to be the one to submit. Instead you kept your unmoving glare onto his wavering eyes, your steady breathing against his increasing inhales, your frozen frame in shock when his moves in even closer, and a blank mind when his lips are suddenly on yours.
Jungkook had snapped.
Chapter Two | Masterlist
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tslasvegas · 3 years
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Episode 3: “UGH just rename Luxor to Loser” - Xavier
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Well... that takes care of the Timmy problem... Love Timmy... Just didn’t know how our dynamic would be cus he was runner-up to the last survivor game I played which I won. Hm... Well...
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That went well. There's nothing like a live video tribal to get people together. and stephen didn't react too badly. but i know now he won't work with me moving forward
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I’m sorry I’m terrible at confessionals... So things are going well, I think we have a decent tribe but it is too soon to tell. I’m not a huge fan of creative challenges, at least from my previous game, I guess we will see how that goes. Most of the guys seem nice, still trying to feel everyone out.`
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A 4-2 vote off is interesting. Someone is on the bottom for sure. Also, this next challenge is a creative challenge and when I do these solo I usually do really well. Hopefully I can channel that energy into a win for us here because two tribes are going to tribal. We’ll be down to 17 after this, so I’m not sure if we’d go into a tribe swap yet? Maybe 2 tribes of 8 with one person sitting out? 
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Oh hot dang, two tribes are going to tribal next time. Probably going to be us :( now it is time to make alliance chats!
....five seconds later
I suspect that after this double vote out that there will be a tribe swap. I hope I end up with Mo and Jaiden at least.
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https://drive.google.com/file/d/17NPxKO_TKgqjNqsaWlbmlL0jgU36Aygi/view?usp=drivesdk
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I really like this challenge. I feel confident about it but at the same time nervous that 2 tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope my tribe wins this one since I still don't know how the tribe feels about me. Wish me luck guys!
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My tribe is not going to win this immunity challenge. Our nightclub is due just hours away and we have little nothing done. I am going to have to scramble soon.....I did nothing to help my tribe with the challenge, so if it is me that goes, I would understand 
....five seconds later
Honestly, I want to keep Jaiden and Mo around because I feel closer with them than anyone else. I want to keep Kailyn around because she seems to make time for challenges. Everyone else I am okay with going home, Ben hasn't really done anything soooooo maybe him? Oof
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If we lose, then it's 2/3rds my fault and 1/3 Stephen. We better not be on the chopping block if we do lose. This is a two person Tribe as of now. Bobby Jon and Stephenie.
...five seconds later
UGH just rename Luxor to Loser
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Second we lose Ben finally responded to my pm’s..... hm..... alright....
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Y’all rlly won with a PowerPoint SKDJDJSKLALALL
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Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.
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youtube
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All that hard work that went into this challenge really paid off! We scored the best and don’t have to attend tribal!! Which is absolutely exciting! Andrew told me he wanted to work together which is rad. Livingston and I want to work together which is radder. And Joey and i want to work together which is raddest. I haven’t spoken too much with Jeff lately even though we talked quite a bit early on. Pat and I speak occasionally. Stephanie and I didn’t really speak at all until recently but we’ve gotten into a good groove the last few days. I’m feeling pretty good about this game so far. I hope there’s no tribal swap or anything right away.
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So when I get my chip total I'm gonna update Keegan. He is currently at a soap making class but I want him to know I am serious about working with him in this game and I think this is a good gesture. - keegan has let me know he has 4 chips and is willing to pool them over to me when we have enough so that we can unlock the store. I let him know I am okay with doing the same thing to him, whichever. But yes this is looking HOT for me. - "what's in the store?" | all i can really assume is advantages. we need 10 chips to unlock it. This is very similar to the Unnamed Season but the betting cap gives us more control. At this point, I don't think anyone can mathematically unlock without pooling chips. Keegan and I just need 1 more chip between us. Let's just hope we aren't separated by a swap or some shit. I am hoping for a bit more time on this amazing tribe to get that set up so I have a good idea of what the store holds.
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Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.
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We lost again!?!?!?!?!??! I am so surprised? Nah I'm kidding, but I don't care. I don't blame our team for losing because 3/5 of us were panicking because our president could be a cheetoh. I'm voting Stephen tonight, I hope the others follow suit. It SHOULD be simple, but 9 hours is a long time for Survivor; and if he knows it's him then might run around and create some chaos - which would be funny.
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Rachael (love her she’s probably who I’m closest with along with DeNara and Kailyn) is not being subtle about the fact that she either has a pre-existing friendship with Ben or is currently aligned with Ben. Because Ben, from my knowledge has not been social with anyone, nor has he been super active and in our alliance chat with Kailyn, Rachael seems uncomfortable with the fact that Ben is said to be the vote and is saying she would prefer someone else to go. But like c’mon you can’t deny he hasn’t been social, and even if I had a friendship with somebody before a game, if they aren’t active I’m voting them out. Also I lied to my tribe a couple times this round because I’m lazy.
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UGH. We LOST the challenge!!! And it wasn't even close *grumbles angrily* But it's okay. I'm gonna have to work my pussy out to this entire tribe to make them keep me around! I feel pretty good about this, I believe the target is leaning towards Ben but we'll have to wait and see. I don't think it's possible rn but I'm hoping for a swap soon so I can feel a little more re-energized in this game because my tribe has been super quiet lately... I think people will try to move the vote around so I'm going to use my current lack of employment as an opportunity to make myself stay alive on this tribe lmao
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These guys are being super boring and either Jake is dumber than i thought, or shadier than i gave him credit for. Xavier might be trying to play me but regardless its doubtful ill stay. John seems to have the most chance of winning out of these four as hes not overplaying. Kevin hasnt spoken to me since the colin vote and it pisses me off that I might be going home after being one of two people that worked on the challenge when kevin was taken off the chopping block immediately for playing jeopardy. i hate this tribe.
....five seconds later
Johns out, Jake too by the sound of it. Time for plan B, which never works but might as well try. Fake idol time.
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Oof well the uhh, “obvious friend group” has picked their target and it just so happens to be the only person I’ve made an actual alliance with :/ Poor DeNara. I really didn’t want to have to vote her off this early if I didn’t have to and then the worst part is she didn’t even hear it from me. Nobody is even mentioning game right now and Rachael is acting legitimately surprised to me when I came to her saying “okay this is an easier vote than I thought”.. even tho Ben claimed he had already talked to her..?? Idk man I must’ve done something wrong along the way but these people LEGITIMATELY don’t talk to me. My instant reaction is leaning towards being bitter but bitterness doesn’t really get me anywhere :/ I feel kinda.. out of it rn emotionally just because of everything else I have going on so if I seem more reserved tonight at tribal than usual, that’s why. I just hope that I’m not still stuck on that damn mountain rolling my dumbass rock back up only to get knocked back down again. I’m remaining optimistic for the future.. let’s keep winning some challenges mmkay
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Okay good news, I shouldn't be leaving. But that being said DeNara, you have goT TO PULL. YOURSELF. TOGETHER. She's packing her bags and from my knowledge she's going to be fine tonight. Hopefully it'll be Ben who's going but DeNara giving up like this isn't helPING. 
....five seconds later
Also I am in two alliances which is cool I guess.
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Oops....... and now I'm controlling this vote I think :) It feels good. I don't know what my plan is !! I'm lying to everyone. I basically put myself in a position to be the 4th person in both votes and I love it so much. I keep telling ppl I'm an emotional mess and I think I'll milk that because SOMEONE is going to get betrayed tonight... love that for me. Rachael, Nik, and Ben want to vote out DeNara Mo, Kailyn, and DeNara want to vote out Ben And tbh I would prefer Rachael or Nik!! Since neither of those things are happening I guess it's up to me to decide which way I wanna swing... I hate/love myself for this. I think there are good cases for both people to leave, because I think that getting rid of DeNara strengthens bonds I never had with Rachael and co. while getting rid of Ben just makes me their enemy. Honestly I am starting to lean towards getting rid of DeNara for that sole purpose alone. It'll be messy for sure. Ben provides NOTHING to the game right now and I hate the fact that he announced in his intro that he's just here to backstab people... but villains don't win unless they're sitting next to another villain. He's the goat to me and Rachael right now, but pretty homos like me always win xx I might regret this decision down the road but HOPEFULLY whichever side I take will pay me back in protection down the line. I think I have the charm to smooth shit over w Kailyn and Mo but its up for determination. I think that I have the finesse to beat Rachael in a vote, too, but I don't want to put her back up against the wall just yet..... ;) Anyways... I hope this isn't my last confessional. I wasn't having fun until I found my place. Let's get it on.
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It is me or Ben tonight. Guess we will find out who...
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PROMPT GAME #1
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Totally unedited and I have to cut the storyline a little short, because well, its supposed to be a drabble. Ahahah ❤ and I decided to combine all promts you requested into one.
"Seriously Jeon? You have fucked everyone else and now you are finding girls in my home?" Y/N sighed and walked passed the shirtless male, grinnibg with his mouth full of cereal. Her cereal, in her house, using her bowl.
"Not my fault your roomate is hot," he winks, totally shameless about the fact that he and her so called roomate keep the whole house, specifically her, since shes the only other person in there anyway, awake all night, with their disgusting activities. Endless activities. "Cereal?"
Y/N rolled her eyes and grab the half eaten bowl and throw in the sink.
"No thanks, and thanks for offering, since that is my cereal in the first place. Now that you have disgraced this house, would you please get out so I can comfort my roomate when she realizes what an asshole you are and what a mistake she made?"
"Aww, come on Y/N why so grumpy? Someone not getting any?" Jungkook smirk, slipping on his shirt, thank god. He might be an asshole, but hes an asshole with a bod! And its hard to be snarky with his hard pecs staring back at her.
"Ive been getting plenty on my own, thanks," Y/N rolles her eyes again. "And I rather be dead than being with you in the same bed Jeon,"
"Oh come on Y/N, I know you wish I want you. Hey, maybe I do. Wanna gove it a try?" He winks, taunting her.
"Just get the fuck out Jeon," Y/N open the door and crossed her arms, waiting for Jungkook to walk himself out.
"Okay, okay, no need to be so hostile," he laughs and walks out. "See you babe. Just call me if you change your mind, I'll make time for you," he laughs before the door slammed at his back.
The rivalry between Y/N and Jungkook started so long ago that even Y/N cant remember how it even started or if its even relevant anymore. But what she knows is that she hates that fuckboy's guts. Walking around like he owbs the damn campus. Well, maybe it started whe Jungkook pull her braids at the playground when they were 5 or maybe it didnt. It doesnt matter anyway. What natters is that Y/N hates him.
Whole heartedly.
/////
"Ouch!" Y/N turns around as her hand hit a solid rock. A rock that makes a sound. Wait, what rock?
Theres an intruder in her bed!
Y/N freaks out and immediately sits up, a massive headache attacking her head like sharp needles before she takes in her surrounding.
This is not my room.
And I am definitely not alone.
Not just not alone... Y/N turns her head slowly and nervously to the side and screamed out when she sees Jungkook rubbing his head, evidence of being hit by her hand earlier, naked, only with a blanket covering his bottom half.
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
"Geez woman, stop shouting. Its like too early for this," Jungkook rubs his eyes and yawns, totally unbothered by the fact that they are in bed together and naked.
"Get out! What are you doing in my bed?! What did you do to me?" Y/n starts hitting him.
"Yah! Stop it!" Jungkook catches her hands and hold it tight. "First of all, this is my bed. So the question you should ask is, what are you doing in my bed?" Jungkook smirked. "And second, you dont remember?"
"Remember what? What did you do to me?! I couldnt have done this on my own free will! Never!"
"Oh sweetheart, think it long and hard and maybe you will remember," he grins and lays back on the headboard, totally relax.
Y//N scrunched her nose, trying to remember, and slowly everything came back to her.
"I cant believe I missed the dateline for my Math project!" Y/N wailed to her friend. "Im so stressed oit. Urghhh!"
"Then I have good news my friend. Theres a party happening tonight, and I heard its gonna be big. Everyone is invited,"
"Then I'm in!"
"Wow, you are really stressed out. Nerdy Y/N saying yes to a party without hesitation? Amazing,"
/////
"Wow, never seen you at a party before," Jungkook grins towards Y/N as he sits on the kitchen counter of the packed house, a bottle of beer in his hand. "This is usually my forte,"
"Pissed off Jeon. Why are you everywhere," Y/N slurred, losing balance and almost fell if Jungkook didnt catch her.
"And definitely never seen you this drunk before," Jungkook helped to steady her. "Actually, I have never ever seen you drink, at all. Are you alone? Who did you come with?" Jungkook looked around, concerned etched on his face. "Lets just sober you up a little then I'll send you home okay?"
Jungkook held her shoulders and bring her upstairs, to his room. Its such luck that the party is being held at his frat house. His room is off limits to everyone, but this is an emergencu. Hes not going to leave Y/N downstairs to be taken advantage by all the guys at the party. He knows the guys. He is one of them. But he will never let anything happen to Y/N.
Not Y/N.
"Just lie down here. Ill take some water for you okay?" Jungkook places her on his bed, covering her with a blanket.
"Nooo, dont go," Y/N pulls him, making him fall on her and giggles. "Wow, you are so handsome," she traces his face with her fingers.
"You are definitely drunk Y/N," he laughs, he hinself a little tipsy.
"No, I am not. Hey Jeon... Why do I hate you again?" Y/N stares into his eyes, not letting her grip on him go.
"I-I dont know.." Jungkook whispered. He knows its wrong. Y/N is definitely drunk, and he himself is intoxicated. And they hate each other, dont they? Atleast thats what Y/N been telling him, but Jungkook hasnt been hating her for the longest time already. Its actually quite the opposite.
"Jungkook?"
"Y/N?"
And as Y/N pulls his face, connecting their lips together, the rest of the night is history.
/////
"Fucking. Hell..."
"So I take it you remember?" Jungkook grins.
"I was drunk! You took advantage of me!" Y/N screamed making Jungkook laughed. So dramatic.
"Me?! You are the one who make the first move! You took advantage of me! Besides, its not so bad. I made you feel good," he winks. "We both kinda win here,"
"Urghhh, shut up!" Y/N quickly stands up and collect her clothes which is strewn all over the room, hastily putting it on, all the while mumbling like crazy. "Not a word of this to anyone! Oh God, I cant believe this happened! I an serious Jeon, no word to anyone!"
Jungkook laugh and made a swear sign with his hand.
"I swear. I wont tell anyone. Although are you sure? I know you want to gloat on how good I made you feel," he laughs more.
"Shut the fuck up! Urghhhh," she threw a pillow to his head, missing him by an inch, making him laugh more as Y/N scurried away.
"Thanks for the night!"
"Fuck off!" Y/N screamed out and slammed the door, leaving Jungkook still laughing on the bed, mumbling to himself, smiling.
You are such a pain in my ass, it actually hurts to fucking love you Y/N. If only you knew how I feel.
/////
Eversince that fateful morning, it seems like Jungkook is everywhere. She cant seems to shake him away. Grinning, waving, annoying her...
Y/N never told anyone about that night of course. She doesnt want to be knows as another one of Jungkook's girls, or his latest victim. Jungkook is someone she despise and thats the extend of their relationship. And she would like to keep it that way.
But fate of course have another plan and her science teacher partnered her up with Jungkook, as part of the mentor - protege program hes trying. A good student oartnered up woth a less performing on, in hopes it could help each other. Worse, after weeks ignoring him and asking him to do his own thing, the class is assigned with a project, something Y/N could never run from. And that is how she is in the library, sitting beside a grinning Jungkook.
"We are finishing this project as fast as we can and thats it,"
"Oh come on Y/N. Cant we atleast be friends?" Jungkook grins, teasing her. "Afterall, you have seen me nak-"
"Shut up!" Y/N quickly covers his mouth. "What are you trying to do? Telling everyone we hooked up? It was a drunken mistake okay!"
Jungkook laughs and mumble to himself. So cute.
"What?"
"Nothing. I didnt say anything," he smiles and shrugs.
"Look Jungkook, I'm serious okay? This marks are important to me. Lets just do thia properly and be serious about it. I will divide the work load so we can do it on our own time and we can meet uo eve-"
Y/N was cut off when his lips landed on her and he grins.
"What the hell did you just do?!" Y/M hissed, looking around to see if anybody noticed. "Didnt I tell you just now? You cant just go around kissing people! I mean, I know you are a manwhore but thats not how the rest of the human world works! Stop being a-"
Another kiss.
"Jeon Jungkook!"
"I only kissed you because you were talking too much," he smile, bunny teeth showing, chin olaces in the palm of his hand that is laced together, looking at her.
"I-uh..."
"See, it works. You are finally speechless," Jungkook smile got wider. "Lets get to work shall we?"
/////
The project did bring Jungkook and Y/N closer together. They can be now considered somewhat... friends?
"So.. do you still hate me?" Jungkook asks as they are having coffee together after submitting their final project.
"Well.. hate is a strong word Jeon," Y/N smile. "And I think I am getting used to you. But I still dont like you," she giggled.
"Well, I'll take that," Jungkook smile. "Uh.. hey.. do you want to go to the dance with me?" His voice laced with nervousness.
Y/N was surprised by his question. Is Jungkook asking her out?
"I-I mean, as friends? To celebrate our new friendship?"
"Whatt? Does the great Jeon Jungkook has no date for the dance?" She laughs.
"Hey, I spend all my time doing this project with you. I got your nerd aura all over me okay," Jungkook smile. "So will you?"
"Yeah," Y/N smiles. "Yeah, why not,"
/////
"Hey Minji, I have to meet up with my professor, kts a last minute thing. If Jungkook came can you tell him to wait? Please?" Y/N shouted to her roomate as she rushed to the door.
"Jungkook? Wait, you are going to the dance with Jungkook?" Minji raised an eyebrow.
"Y-yeah. He asked me. Wait, you are okay with that right? You said hes only a one night stand right?" Y/N stopped in her tracks.
"Of course. It was a mutual understanding. Im only surprised because I didnt know you two still hang out. And he never brings a date to a dance. And dont you hate him or something?" Minji questioned, hands crossed on her chest.
"Well, lets just say hes changed," Y/N smiles. "My phone is out of battery but I'll be back in a jiffy. Let Jungkook know ok? Thanks, love you!" Y/N waves off and went out.
Lets just see if Jungkook truly changed Y/N-ah. A fuckboy will forever be a fuckboy. And if you think a nerd like you can chabge him instead of someone like me, you are dead wrong. Minji smirks.
/////
"Oh hi Kookie, what are you doing here?" Minji gave him a sultry smile as she opened the door to see Jungkook looking dashing in a tuxedo, flowers in hand. He even get Y/N her favorite. How tentative. Minji rolled her eyes.
"Im here to pick up Y/N. For the dance?" Jungkook smile.
"Oh no," Minji puts a hand on her chest, brows furrowing in sadness. "I am sorry to hear that, but Y/N left,"
"Left? But I'm her date?"
"Kookie, I am so sorry. I dont know how to say this. But she was so happy she managed to tricked you. She said its some kind of revenge and that you are stupid to believe she would actually be friends let alone go to the dance with you?"
"W-what? N-no. Y/N couldnt... could she?" Jungkook's face pained as the clutch on the flowers loosen and drop to the floor.
"I am so sorry..." Minji carressed his face. "But hey.." he pulls him to the sofa and scoot closer. "I can make you feel better and forget about her,"
/////
Y/N almost ran home. Shes ao excited and she needs to get ready, to look good for Jungkook. She dont know why she have to, but she just wanted to. And shes late.
She happily pushed open her door, a wide smile on her face, which immediately dissapear once she is greeted with the image of Jungkook being balls deep inside her roommate, on the couch... in the middle of the fucking living room. He cant even find the decency to take ger to the room atleast? Knowing she lives here too?
"W-what?"
"Y/N?" Jungkook was shocked and immediately pull out, scouring for his boxers and slipped it on.
"What the hell?! You cant even wait for a few minutes without fucking anyone?!"
"You bailed! I thought you left. And what do you care? Arent I just some kind of revenge?" Jungkook smirked.
"What are you talking about?! Bail?!I was meeting my professor! I told Minji this. To tell you! And what revenge?!"
"Wait, what?" Realization suddenly hits him as he turns to face Minji who is smirking. "You lied? You bitch!"
"Hey, dont be mad at me. If you can just keep it in your pants this wont happen," she shrugs. "Y/N, I am just trying to show you that fuckboys will never change. Just one lie and hes already fucking someone else! How can you be wih him?"
"Shut the fuck up you lying manipularive bitch!" Jungkook yelled at her, trying to control his temper. But he knows Minji is not important right now. Y/N is. "Y/N listen to me, I can explain. Minji.. she said-"
"It doesnt matter Jungkook. Minji is right. Just one lie from her is all it needed for you to start sleeping with someone else?"
"Y/N, no. Its not like that. I was hurt. I was-"
"Save it Jeon," Jungkook stopped at the nickname. It felt so cold. He took a step forward, lurching for her arm but Y/N pull back immediately.
"Stop. Fucking. Touch. Me!" Y/N yelled. "Minji is right. Fuckboy never changed, get out Jeon,"
"Y/N-"
"Why should I care anyway right, we are just friends," Y/N angrily wipe her tears. "Maybe not even friends," she stormed off into the room, slamming the door, leaving Jungkook to pick up the pieces of broken heart.
/////
"Go away!"
"I am going to annoy you, follow you around until you talk to me. Until you forgive me. I dont care what it takes, or who knows how desperate I am!" Jungkook followed her around like a pupoy around campus for a whole three months now. Never once did he gives up. Y/N has finally had enough. The whole campus heard about how Jeon Jungkook, the campus player is now whipped and chasing some nerd. Y/N cant already tolerate the endless flowers, chocolates, gifts, texts and phonecalls that he sent everyday, but following her around, all day and all night? For three whole month? Its too much.
"Why wont you give up?! We were not even friends to begin with!"
"I am never giving you up. Ever!"
"Seriously. Why?! The fuck, why?!" Y/N has reached her limit, screaming in the middle of campus to the campus player, not caring to maintain her cool anymore.
"Fine, you wanna know so bad? Its because I fucking love you L/N Y/N! I have love you for so many years eventhough you hated me! And now that I have the chance to be in your life I am not gonna let some manipulating bitch ruined it for me! I want you and I am not gonna stop until I get you!" Jungkook's chest heaved from his confession. "Got your answer now?"
"N-no," Y/N shakes her head, eyes searching his. "It cant be. We hated each other!"
"I dont. I never did. I dont even know why you hate me? Ia it because I pulled your braids when we were 5?" Jungkook smiles. "That just means I like you Y/N. And I have never stopped since,"
"B-but all the girls you have been with? You are the campus player!"
"Its only to get you attention," he bunny grins. "I gor your attention when I slept with your roommate and I have stopped ever since Y/N. Please, believe me. I love you,"
"B-but-"
"Please Y/N," Jungkook kneeled down and hold her hands, in the middle of the busy campus. "I wont stop until you say yes. I will follow you. I will tell you everyday I love you. I will call you, text you, I wi-"
Y/N cuts him off by pulling him up, grinning, tears in her eyes.
"Serioualy Jeon, you are so annoying,just kiss me already," she grins, hands holding the back of his neck, making Jungkook smile with his bunny grin, love in his eyes.
"With pleaseure my love,"
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Who is best friends with who?
**Glad you asked!! I’ll do Best friends and also general friends- Jade has been ‘childhood’ friends with Jeffery for a long time; (since he made his debut in the UR, really- she was the.. second? person he actually got to know alittle after being dragged down there))She’s been friends with him since, and even went through schooling (the Institute) with him; in fact, Eyeless was also in their graduating class, and she considers him a friend as well.However, things have gotten a bit r o c k y in their friendship (which wont be discussed currently but theres a few negatives), and Jade has seemed to spend more time with the likes of Will than with him. Jade seems a bit happier lately since she’s befriended Will as well..She met Will under rather specific circumstances, but seems more than happy to lend him a hand and, much to his surprise, actually actively seems to like being his friend and hanging out with him or helping him. Yes, she’s known for her benevolence (and or malevolence if the need arises), but she just felt an odd click with him. She finds him kind and dorky, but also deteminded and just a tad idiotic- but hey, who isnt? Basically, she really likes this one- its a nice change after enduring alot of Jeffery’s... stuff, towards her....Even if Will is friends and roommates with... h i m.In conclusion; Jade is/was(?) Best Friends with Jeffery (while Jeffery also considers Ben a best friend of course), is good friends with Eyeless, is on good terms with a good handful of other individuals, and has been getting along quite nicely with Will. If she had to admit it, she’s taken quite a liking to Will, and he may be the soon runner up for that Best Friend position...- Jeffery, as stated above, has been ‘childhood’ friends with Jade since he met her all those years ago, having met and gotten to know her quite well. He also (somehow) made good friends with the likes of Ben and Penny, while at least being on okay terms with Eyeless and a few others from their Graduating class. Though, admittedly, looking back on it now it seems he did take advantage of Jade and the others quite a bit, but its not like him to dwell on the past too much so he himself doesnt think about it like Jade has. He isn’t someone who has alot of friends, or actively makes them; if anything, no one at this point forward wants to be his friend. He’s rude and full of himself, tends to take advantage of those close to him sometimes, and has made quite the showing as of late of being a selfish asshole, also probably needs a shower. In Jade’s words, she feels he’s only gotten worse over the passed few years, and she’s starting to get annoyed/hurt by it, as she cant really see why he’s stooped so low lately.In conclusion; Jeffery is/was(?) Best friends with Jade, Best friends with Ben (though he’s not around much, doin’ his own thing, and also not in this barrel of a party that is the blog), good friends with Penny, on okay-ish terms with Eyeless, and thats about it. Oh, and Smile- Smile has been his good boi best pal for awhile now, and Smile seems indifferent. Ongoing feuds with Jane, annoyance or aggression towards others, and his boasting and thinking he’s one of the best has made everyone either ignore or avoid him- as you do.- Eyeless gets along just fine with anyone he meets, as he isn’t much of a talker and has a more silent understanding. If he doesnt like someone, he either would make it known or just look the other way and ignore them. While he doesnt actively have a best friend that could be seen as another individual, he does see Seedie as a good companion and could easily consider her a Best Friend in a way. He see’s Jade as a good individual that he’s spent some time with and even ran into while ‘out on the field’ (in the OW). While he’s on okay-ish terms with Jeffery, he easily admits that the selfish-vibe Jeff gives him isn’t one he likes.In conclusion; Best friend is Seedie, good friends or positive acquaintances with a handful if not most others.- LJ .... well. No One likes LJ. He himself isn’t sure why everyone dislikes him so much, but he’s so used to it at this point that he hasnt questioned it in quite some time. Maybe its personal things to each individual, or maybe its an agreed upon disliking for him by a group or more of individuals, but either way- its pretty obvious that Jack is one of the least liked out of anyone. Maybe its something he did? Said? Still does? Who knows...But then again, one night out in the field (out in the OverWorld), he was interrupted by a small kid- roughly no older than six. In fact, the six year old had just caught him gutting and lowkey strangling a seven year old that the younger had been been having a ‘sleep over’ with. The six year old didnt run, or scream, or seem frightened- no, in fact, he seemed curious. After seeing the seven year old cut open and hanging on by a thread, the six year old just stood there, silent but curious. He looked to Jack, and Jack stared back; with a look of surprise no less- he wasn’t used to getting caught in the act by other kids, he was used to hearing the hurried footsteps of paranoid and frantic mothers or fathers and then getting caught in the act by them instead. Then that night finished in a blur- the six year old doesnt remember much after that but isn’t allowed to that house again. The distraught and paranoid family of the then gutted deceased seven year old moved away shortly after.Jack felt odd after that night- something about how the kid wasn’t scared by him at all, but intrigued instead. It didnt take long before he found the kid again, but alone. He was home alone, although with a babysitter (who wasn’t paying any attention to him). Jack observed the kid for a bit, finding him to be fairly lonely, but not at all a brat. He was curious, and albeit a tad stupid in actions (a crazy lil kid who always managed to do the most outlandish or dorky of things without being a brat), was a good kid. He felt no desire to harm this one, and in fact started to feel a tad odd on the inside. Fuzzy, somewhere in his chest or head, or something. A ‘bond’, maybe. He was in denial about any "bond” when it crossed his mind, but looking back on it now he realizes it most likely definitely is. After a bit, he decided to show himself to the kid- with less blood on his hands this time- to which the youngster seemed more than happy to see him again- and this time in his more well lit bedroom instead of a dark room on a stormy night. Well, that was a start to an surprisingly good friendship.Oh, who’s the six year old, you ask?Well, it was William of course!In conclusion; he considers Will his good lil best buddy and has for years. Jack has sort of been the best friend, sorta the weird uncle like sort of figure in Will’s life, and later lazyboned roommate,,And for a bit, he’s sort of tried to get on Jade’s good side since she started coming around to Will- but it doesnt seem to be working...- William is a fresh newcomer to the UR and... really doesnt have any friends. He never has, really. He’s had peers, kids his age, his parents, and thats about it. Well, until he had been picked up by a friend of his mothers to have a small sleep over with her own son a good 35 minutes away- to a sleep over that ‘didnt end well’ and one he cant really remember much from.His parents were always busy, so asking their friends who also had kids if they could do a sleep over wasn’t uncommon. He was often left to play and hang out with kids around his age who already knew eachother- which means he was usually left out of things and never made any friends. he was always late to the party when it came to making friends with his parent’s friend’s kids. He was usually quiet around others, and when it was apparent that none of them wanted to be his friend, he got even quieter the whole time he wasn’t home.He was a good kid, so his mother (who paid more attention to him than his father, and actually tried to be there for him) didnt understand why..But after a certain event took place during one of the sleep overs he had been too, his mother had been too scared to let him out, and instead started to have a babysitter instead. That’s when she noticed he seemed to get alittle happier- but unknown to her, it was because of a certain clown instead of any babysitter. Regardless, she was just relieved and joyed to see him just a tad happier.As he grew up, and throughout his school years, he never made any friends, as others always seemed to ignore or avoid him, or act as if he wasn’t there. So, no friends all throughout his child and teen years- well, aside from Jack, who has always sort of been there for him. However, when he got to age 13 and beyond, Jack seemed to come around less and less, but still made efforts to see his ‘best buddy’. So even though he know he had Jack as a friend and ‘support’, he still felt rather lonely, and sometimes (even though he didn’t show it) the whole ‘no one likes him’ would get into his head and his feelings.Fast forward to finishing high school and getting kicked out soon after, Will basically begged Jack to bring him to the UR- to start anew there and be the best killer he (had nearly never mentioned that he) wanted to be. It caught Jack off guard, as it’d been quite awhile since he’d let the UR slip in convo with this kid and wasn't entirely sure about bringing him there... but it happened.Fast forward again, the boi is finally somewhat sorta settled in the UR and just started more schooling- the Institute... and still has plenty of trouble making any friends or even acquaintances. Which isn't surprising, as its the UR, but he thought he’d at least have another chance... but then he met Jade.Which, ultimately, seemed to put him at ease- as she was more than happy to befriend him and get to know him on such a level... despite being one of his teachers...  In conclusion; Will considers Jack to be his best friend and has for years, and see’s Jade in a similar light so far. He still gets sorta awkward and flush around her bc having a new friend for once is sorta really weird to him, especially (another) one that could easily slaughter him in seconds but he appreciates her friendship.. alot. He appreciates both of them, even if one is a lazyboned clown with a habit of being hated by others, and the other being a fluffy beast but with soft intentions and actually doesnt mind him at all.**so theres that- geez I wrote alot for LJ and Will, forgive me,,,,**also forgive if anything seems muddled, its like 2:20 am
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caps-clever-girl · 5 years
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thoughts on endgame.
fair warning, i am not going to be kind. i enjoyed watching this movie, for the most part. it was funny; it had many good jokes and good, pure and well done interactions between multiple characters. but i didnt like it, and here are the reasons why.
unfortunately, this isnt a ‘nitpicky’ post. my main problems are with a lot of the bigger points points of the film, and had quite a few. this is a LONG post.
• “marvels first gay character!!!!!!!!!!!!” shut up. you joined the ‘fad’ late for brownie points and it was a cameo character who got about 3 lines. there are plenty of canon queer and gay characters who could have been introduced, either as cameos or in earlier films. dont even get me started on the fact that tony has more canon bi material than most others and marvel could have taken the time or even the slightest bit of effort to make this. while i enjoyed the jokes about steve being Incredibly Hot and his ass being Gods Gift To America (which honestly??? correct!) that could have been expanded on. several characters made comments about how nice steve’s ass is, and could have been used as actual material for a queer character, instead of sticking a random chharacter in there. i get the whole ‘gay people could be anyone! its normal!’ thing by giving the ‘role’ to a regular person, but you would also prove that by making any one of your 30+ main cast actually queer instead of making gay jokes and hints that could be retconned and explained away by humour.
• slapping someone out of a panic attack, and treating the panic attack like a joke. yeah, i get it, they didnt have a lot of time. still, come on. did iron man 3 teach you nothing? apparently not since tonys ptsd was pretty much never brought up again.
• speaking of thor. now, i am not an expert, but when a person gains weight, they do not keep their abs. certainly not after five entire years - not even asgardians. i also found it odd that thor became the way he did. i understand gaining weight and comfort eating after all the trauma thor went through losing his home and brother and people, i really do, but 1.) do it properly, at least, and 2.) thor is the leader of his people. does he want the task? not particularly. he hasnt wanted to be king since the first thor movie, but hes been forced into the role. even depressed i dont think thor would shy away from it, not completely. hes always wanted to do right by his people and i think that hed stuck to it, especially after The Snap backing him into a corner, if that makes sense. to clarify, i dont have a problem with chubby/fat thor. (IF done right instead of with weird, shitty cgi, that is.) i have a problem with the fact that thor, even though he doesnt want to be king, would abandon the last remanents displaced people to build a new home all on their own and become a hermit gamer boy. ESPECIALLY with valkyrie around. she’s been through a derpressive, alcohol fuelled time in her life and thor pulled her out of it. (mostly anyway, asgardians are party animals and im p sure she still gets trolleyed on the reg) i have bo doubt that after years of wallowing she would do her damned best to try and kick his ass out of it, even if it were just because his people need a leader, instead of letting him drop everything on her and just let him stew while new asgard gets on with it. i also didnt like the fact that all of thors emotional moments were treated as jokes and made to be funny when hes genuinely Fucked Up about eveything thats happening and made his image into a whiny crybaby.
• professor hulk. more of a personal one, this, simply because i just didnt like it. fair enough if y’all disagree on this one, im not going to fight it. i just never saw him wanting to combine himself with the hulk. ever. when he apleared on the screen i was completely blindsided, and his explanation, and the way he interacted with the kids????? i just want to know where all of this confidence suddenly came from. i use the term ‘suddenly’ loosely, since its been five years, but bruce has never been the guy to care about strength or looks or fame. hes always been shy and nerdy. not afraid to stand his ground or make his opinion known. hes bot a catchphrase, posing and flexing ‘hell yeah lets take a selfie’ guy. i get that thats maybe the result of the hulk and bruces combined personality but it just felt WEIRD to me, like, there wasnt a time in the film where i felt comfortable with the character. this was the final avengers film, with all of the original six avengers in it. but it didnt feel like that, it didnt feel like bruce or the hulk was in the film, even though there was a lot of funny and good moments with orofessor hulk, it felt like a stranger with some familiar characteristics. it ruined any feelings of nostalgia for me. i like bruce, and i like the hulk. i like the way their differences add to the story and the way they interact with eachother, and the slow change in their relationship. sorry if its petty but i prefer them seperate, theres just so much more to them for me.
• clint and natasha’s journey for the soul stone. both times, in infinity war and endgame, a male character and a female character went to get the soul stone. both times the male came back and the female died, and we lost possibly two most developed and main-line female characters in the entire mcu. now i understand the reasoning for both, and out of the characters that went there, i agree with the choice. thanos and gamora; it was thanos who was aware of the sacrifice and who chose to make it. gamora didnt get a choice and was unaware until it was too late. thanos was never going to die there. he knew there would be a sacrifice and chose to take gamora, because she would be the most likely sacrifice to actualky sucsesfully yield the soul stone because she was the most loved by him. i get it, but we lost gamora and i dont like it. clint and natasha; looking at it completely objectively, clint has a family, a wife and three children, that he wants to get back. natasha does not have any children, nor any (blood) family. if i had to choose, based on facts like that, id choose her too. but i still hate it, because there goes the only female member of the avengers. also, nebula (and i think maybe rocket?) KNEW that a sacrifice would be made and either accidentaly or deliverately left out the terms of aquiring the soul stone. it would have been easy to tell, if not easy to solve. but nothinb was said, and two best friends had to make a fucking awful and horrible choice when they might not have had to.
• on the ‘feminism’ tangent; the random congragation of women in the end scene??????? i dont????? okay so i am marking myself as a hypocrite here because i did love this scene!!! it made my lil gay heart go boom to see so many good and strong women all in one place - ESPECIALLY rescue - and it also made me realise how many women there actually are across the mcu??? which was really nice?? but it just felt... so forced? the way they ALL suddenly apleared and stood together even though they were all mixed in around the battlefield. it was a wonderful thought and i did enjoy it, but it seemed too Off and Odd to seem as much more than a bid for Feminism Brownie Points.
• captain marvel. i dont know about you, but i was actually looking forward to her being in the film. for a character so hyped to be the saviour of the avengers and the end of thanos, she was barely in the film. ‘i have other planets to save, the earth isnt the only one affected by thanos’ yeah but earth is the only plannet actively attacked by him. its where the people who are rallying to fight him and reverse what he did are. dont you want to stick around and help them? surely it would be a hell of a lot easier with your help, and faster too. yes, she blasted theough the ship at the end, but she did fuck all to help defeat thanos himself, and the help she did give with the ship came at the end. i genuinely think they kept her out of the movie because she was too powerful, and would have made fighting thanos etc too easy to get all the suffering and noble sacrifices in. if she had been a side character i dont think id be as mad, but she got a whole MOVIE in which she is clearly the start of the entire avengers initiative; she is their HISTORY!!!! she is so powerful!!!! and yet she has 5 mins of screen time!! it pisses me off that she was So Strongly implied to be the character the avengers NEEDED, the one that without whom it would be IMPOSSIBLE to defeat thanos; the woman that really tipped the scales in there favour, and yet she did fuck all. (and lets not even get started on the carol/rhodey and carol+tony bromance we COMPLETELY missed out on.)
• (speaking of bonding what the fuck happened to tony and nebula????? after they were rescued it was like they never met)
• the whole entire concept of time what the fuck!!! ‘dont change anything’ okay well for the most part you did okay, and the PLAN and CONCEPT was actually really easy to grasp, at least to me, which is hard when working with paradoxes and wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff. but that went out the water when past!thanos and his army were brought into the future and disintergrated. does this mean they’re dead in the past - since they would have just. Left and not come back and therefore ceased to exist from that point???? or did tonys Snap simply send them back to their point in time, with no memory of what had occured? idk because it aint explained.
• speaking of; loki. again - his past changed; he managed to escape, with the tessarect. this is not explained nor expanded upon. assuming the events of thor 2 came about - which were impossible if he escaped - then his timeline would carry on as normal, and would PERHAPS explain the tessarects wacky timeline. (i dont know for certain, because i cant work it out anyway). but loki disspearing means he wouldnt have gone to trial on asgard, nor would he wouldnt have been in thor 2 - also by extention meaning that frigga is still alive. technically if he went back to get odin off the throne anyway, everything else after thor 2 involving loki/asgard would still come to pass. either way, we dont know. it was a nice way for endgame to give fans what we wanted; the posibility of loki coming back. but it doesnt make a lick of sense, and we have no idea if hes still alive/escaped or not, and why. personally i have no fucking idea and im pretty sure it was a cop out so they could give us what we wanted. which brings to my other point:
• giving the audience what we wanted. we got loki interaction. we got loki ‘escaping’ and ‘surviving’ (????) we FINALLY got rescue, who many fans have been asking for since i think iron man 2, and even more so since The Badass That Was Pepper Potts in im3. we got morgan stark and tony and pepper married, we got jokes about steves ass, and more jokes about male characters admiring how hot other male characters are. and, most importantly, we got tony having the nice relaxing life he wanted out in his cabin in the woods with his wife and kids (even if it was a horrific way of getting there). i dont quite know how to explain it, but to me it seemed like they were shoving as many ‘fan-requests’ into the film as possible - so that when they killed off 2 of the original 6, and removed another by ageing him out of use, they could lessen the backlash and justify the changes by going ‘but you got so mych that you wanted beforehand!!’. a tactic they drenhed us with because one of those 2 was a fan favourite that people were BEGGING not to be killed off because they felt that he hadnt recieved anywhere near the peace or happiness he deserved so far - and now never will. which brings me to:
• tony’s death.
there are two parts to this.
one, i was incredibly pissed off because strange’s Big Plan, the ONLY reason he saved tony in infinity war, was so tony could use the gauntlet and kill himself anyway later. anyone in that film could have used that gauntlet - and many wouldnt have suffered fatal injuries; captain marvel, steve, t’challa, peter quill to name a few possibilities - basically, anyone who is in anyway enhanced would have had a better chance of surviving and would have therefore been the better choice; aka, half the mcu. i think it was a proximity thing; tony was closest. he had the oppertunity and the others didnt. but tony didnt know about the option of using it until strange looked at him and gave him ‘the signal.’ the signal to sacrifice himself. and of course, this is tony stark. when is he ever going to refuse that.
but reason two, and this is the one that stings the most; tony started the mcu.
in my opinion, he is the character who has put the most in during the whole ten years. he, of ALL the characters, deserves his happy ending of marrying the love of his life and having a kid, without constantly fearing that hes foing to have them ripped away from him, that hes going to have to fight to the death to keep them safe.
one of my friends, when i complained about tony dying, said; “it was his time. plus, he had a legacy! with pepper and morgan, and the iron man name. how can you be upset?”
i can be upset because tony got the happiness he wanted after losing exactly 50% of what he held dearest. i can be upset because hawkeye got his family back, but tony only got five years with his wife and less with his kid, instead of getting the oppertunity to grow old with his wife and watch his kid go to collage like clint will. i can be upset because the character that has gone through the most trauma, both physically and mentally, who spent the last ten years trying to better the world and everything in it and protect it, who got the most shit for every decision he made and who ended EVERY SINGLE FILM with a broken limb or his face littered with bruises and cuts while every other film centric character ended the film usually scrape free, didnt get his happy fucking ending. sure, he has a legacy. but i dont give a shit, because that legacy - of iron man, of morgan and pepper and stark industries - would have been there whether tony was alive to see it flourish or not. but he wont be.
this goes beyond being a ‘tony stan’ or tony being my favourite character. out of every single character, from start to finish, anthony edward stark fucking deserved a happy ending and by god he deserved it the most. i will argue that until my end of days.
i watched tony stark on screen for ten years, and i watched him get progressively more scarred and fucked up. his parents. the ten rings. losing yinsen. obie. vanko and hammer. the palladium poisoning. new york; the nuke and the wormhole. the ptsd, the panic attacks. the iron legion and retirement attempt. killian and extremis and the end of that returement attempt. wanda’s vision. jarvis being destroyed. the accords and subsequent civil war. finding out about the winter soldier and his hand in his parents death. finding out that steve knew. siberia. struggling to balence iron man and the accords. losing peter. being stranded on titan, in space for weeks.
tony in that wheelchair, shaking and rail thin and unable to stand for more than a few moments will haunt me forever.
i watched him suffer for ten years - longer, even, in-universe - clawing for his quiet, happy ending while fighting for the happy ending he thought the rest of the world deserved, and instead of getting rewarded he just got beaten down and beaten down. after ten fucking hears of watching the backbone of the entire franchise get nothing but shit piled on him until he struggled to breathe for it, excuse me for thinking he woukd finally get the chance to crawl out from under it and be happy. no strungs attatched, no awful, sacrificial price to be payed, just for a man who had given so. fucking. much. to finally get something for once, and be allowed to keep it.
well i was wrong. and i feel so incredibly fucking stupid for even hoping otherwise.
and thats what i didnt like about avengers endgame.
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wolfsmist · 5 years
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OC Interview!
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1. Choose an OC.
2. Answer them as that OC.
3. Tag 5 people to do the same!
I was tagged by @solarathesniper! Thank you <3 Im not sure who hasnt done this yet so if you havent and you want to, or you just want to do it again, you are tagged!! :) 
1. What is your name?
“Amelia, Amelia Carter.”
2. Do you know why are you named that?
“My parents just liked it, I dont think theres any special meaning behind it.”
3. Are you single or taken?
“Taken!”
4. Have any abilities or powers?
“No, none sadly”
5. Stop being a Mary Sue.
“I certainly am not”
6. What’s your eye color?
“My eyes are mostly green with a little bit of brown, so hazel”
7. How about your hair color?
“As you can see, dark brown”
8. Have any family members?
“I did, before the bombs. Now my friends are my family”
9. Oh? How about pets?
“Well I have dogmeat. And id like to get a cat someday too.”
10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?
“Raiders. I cant stand them.The way they prey on innocent people just trying to survive in this world, it makes me sad.”
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
I enjoy tinkering at things, especially modding weapons and power armour. I like cooking too, though its a lot more difficult now than before the war.”
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
“My enemies, yes. Everyone else, I hope not..”
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
Unfortunately you have to to survive in this world”
14. What kind of animal are you?
“I haven't really thought about it. A deer maybe?”
15. Name your worst habits?
“Ive been told im too soft, which is probably true. Ive also been told I talk in my sleep, im not sure if thats a good or bad thing”
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
“Oh yes, I look up to my boyfriend Danse. The way he pulled through, after everything that happened, i’m so proud of him. Oh and i definitely admire Preston. We need more people like him in the world.”
17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?
“Straight”
18. Do you go to school?
“Before the war, yeah”
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
“I would love to get married again! Maybe someday i will, hopefully. As for kids, I have a son, Shaun. Maybe one day he’ll get a little brother or sister, who knows.”
20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?
“I....dont think so....”
21. What are you most afraid of?
“Losing Danse, and all my friends”
22. What do you usually wear?
“Usually I just wear a shirt and fatigues with some combat boots. Its lightweight and comfy, great for travelling.”
23. What’s one food that tempts you?
“Post war food isnt exactly tempting, but the power noodles from Diamond City are nice”
24. Am I annoying to you?
“Not at all, this has been fun”
25. Well, it’s still not over!
“Oh, ok!”
26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?
“Before the war I was middle class. Nowadays class doesnt really matter, thankfully”
27. How many friends do you have?
“Im lucky to have a lot of good friends. Theres Danse obviously, Preston, Nick, Sturges, Piper and Curie. I get on great with Hancock, Macready and Cait too, but we’re not as close. Ive met so many lovely people throughout the Commonwealth, there are too many to name. Oh and Dogmeat, how could i forget Dogmeat!”
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
“Oh I miss pie so much. I was lucky enough to get a preserved pie from one of those machines once and it tasted delicious. I haven't got one since though. That glass is surprisingly tough” 
29. Favorite drink?
“Coffee, though its quite rare nowadays. I love nuka cola too. Cherry is my favourite flavour.”
30. What’s your favorite place?
“Ive always loved Sanctuary, but theres a lot of tough memories there.... Now Danse and I live in Croup Manor, which i love too. We did it up and it looks great. The view of the ocean from the balcony is amazing.”
31. Are you interested in anyone?
“.....My boyfriend”
32. That was a stupid question…
“Yeah, kinda”
33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
“A lake, who knows whats lurking at the bottom of the ocean...”
34. What’s your type?
“As in a date? Someone kind, generous, loyal and caring. Cheesy, i know “
35. Any fetishes?
“Wow thats a bit personal......”
36. Camping or outdoors?
“Camping.......wait,what?”
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theflowersofdoom · 5 years
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gonna talk about my spooky side account lore bc its unabashedly my favorite
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sam and his sibling max lost their parents to to the bringer when they were really young. they were freed from terror mountain when the hannah thing went down. sam had trouble adjusting and stayed in terror mountain for awhile while max eagerly went out into world. the two kept in constant contact, until max suddenly stopped replying after he traveled to the haunted woods. sam decided to leave for the haunted woods to look for his sibling, and had a pretty terrifying time of it until he met lonnie
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lonnie is a ne’er-do-well grave robber squatting in an abandoned house in the middle of the haunted woods. he found a very afraid and confused sam stumbling around and took him in with the intention of using him to help in illegal activities. sam, being cut off form the world for 10000 yrs and being generally too trusting, enthusiastically goes along with him. the two run around causing trouble and eventually lonnie finds himself actually CARING about this  sweet bori
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paix was born to a terrestrial aisha and alien aisha couple and was raised exclusively on the virupets space station. her childhood had a backdrop of constant and oppressive paranoia of sloth. her family had several connections with the resistance and as a result knew several ppl who either disappeared or were seriously negatively effected by the sloth empire. she even lived through the sloth takeover of virtupets, which while thankfully was relatively uneventful on the part of the station her family lived in, it was still pretty terrifying for 10-or-smth yr old. while all this died down when paix grow up to adult, her parents were still very protective, not allowing paix or her little sister to travel unsupervised and helicoptered pretty bad. paix prided her self in being very level headed, but then one of her only friends disappeared while tracking down a sloth aligned organization and is presumed dead, paix is absolutely devastated, and in the months following his disappearance she quietly takes a small, former resistance ship from a family friend. she intended on flying it to neo central and parking it somewhere visible where the authorities would find it and return it with her apology note sitting in the seat of the cockpit, meanwhile shes in faerieland or mystery island, she doesnt know where just anywhere she’ll figure it out when she gets there. 
what ACTUALLY happened was a little more dramatic than she intended
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paix initially and rightfully doesnt trust lonnie much, but he IS nice enough to let her stay at his house after she  crashed into his back yard  (is this even his house? i looks like its been run down for a while). sam was amazed in meeting a real alien and paix liked him well enough, hes a very kind guy, but still the whole situation was suspect
she probably wouldnt have stayed for long if lonnie hadnt up and died on them
paix suspected murder, from what sam says lonnie wasnt the most liked person around, but its not like theres any laws this is the haunted woods. as far as sam knows lonnie doesnt have any family, he thinks once there was a sister mentioned but he didnt even get a first name. the only family sam had left was a missing sibling he had been trying to find for a year now. so paix helps sam bury him in the back yard
paix takes on a lot of the responsibilities, like get food and telling people that lonnie is in fact dead, he wont be bothering you anymore. she even starts helping sam in his attempts to track down his sibling (shes not super optimistic but its not like shes going to tell sam that). 
at first paix thinks that sam is just very, VERY upset. he hasnt been very tired and acting a little strange, but his friend just died in front of him, its not like she has any room to judge. but as time goes on, things seem increasingly off. theres breif moments where sam seems to be his old self, but more and more he seems confused. paix finds him standing in the middle of the hall, staring at the wall. theres times where sam doesnt remember where hes been or what he was doing just moments ago. paix goes to the attic to get sam, finding no one, only to remember that sam is asleep in the in the living room, and when she goes back down staris of course hes still there, passed out on the couch like he has been all day, why was she so sure there was someone in the attic
when it becomes clear that lonnies been possessing sam, paix has a weird mix of terror and relief, though its drowned out by how PISSED she is at lonnie. she yells at him in portuguese for WHILE before he explains that he really wasnt trying to hurt sam or steal his body or anything else paix is accusing him of, hes been trapped in the ghost zone since he died and nothing he did could get their attention (he had gotten SO CLOSE with paix, she seemed to almost hear him. paix remembers all the times she felt she was being watch or heard someone screaming and just shrugged it off as a side effect of the haunted woods) 
paix could absolutely kill him AGAIN when he goes on to explain that hes now stuck in sams body. she begrudgingly agrees to help lonnie not be stuck, using a ritual from one of the weird creepy books littered around the house. it works and paix is incredibly relieved to find that sam is alright, but then immediately un-relieved to feel someone standing behind her and turned around to find lonnies spooky ghost standing there, menacingly 
the tension was immediately broken as sam  scrambled up screaming YOURE ALIVE and attempting to tackle-hug lonnie only to go through him and crash into the wall
and after paix gives lonnie a peice of her mind and lonnie profusely apologizes to both her and sam, things fall back into normality. paix and sam have found ways to make a living without doing anything illegal. lonnie is somewhat weirder as a ghost, hes taken a liking to scaring the heck out of ppl and is back to being a menace, but he seems to be more sincere with sam and paix at least 
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zaf generally doesnt like photos, meko probably caught them by surprise 
zaf was a unfortunate victim of one of the many sloth-aligned splinter groups, and while they have made an amazing recovery, they remember nothing before waking up in the hospital. they were told that they had been kidnapped and eventually were found and taken in by authorities before being treated and successfully reverted to the physiology of an average mutant kacheek. zaf knows theres more to the story that authorities and their friends arent telling them, and has vague memories, but zaf isnt sure if they want to remember them. they were told by their friends that they had been a zafara before, that they were kind and generous and everyone was devastated when they went missing. zaf, surrounded by people that they cant remember, felt incredibly guilty. they hear stories about themself that they cant remember or even relate to. they ask for descriptions of themself that dont feel like them, least not anymore. zaf looks at pictures of this person that doesnt even look like them, and they cant help but feel like that person isnt here anymore.
zaf distances themself and eventually leaves neo central, taking a job at a hotel in the haunted woods. they have trouble finding a place to stay, and on their way to look at yet another apartment, they mistakenly knock on the door of a spotted bori who has THE friendliest face theyve seen since they moved to the woods
the two talk until its dark out and sam insists they stay the night bc its not safe to be out are you kidding me its the haunted woods. paix, given her past, is suspicious before zaf mentions what happened to them and she straight up offers for them to stay indefinitely (good thing too bc sam was pretty confident the place they had been on their way to see was a scheme to murder people, which seemed way more alarming to zaf than it did sam)
it takes 3 days for zaf to meet lonnie bc hes busy being an ass, slamming doors and leaving creepy messages in the mirror, culminating into jump-scaring zaf in the hallway at 3 in the morning. paix had tried to warn them but its still a spooky ghost in your apartment. sam mentioned that lonnies body was buried in the back yard and zaf looked like they were about to cry. just two sweet kids living in a dilapidated old house thats haunted by their dead friend, whose body they had bury in the back
zaf seems to be the only one concerned about the skulls in the living room, and the strange books, all of which, at least the ones zaf can make sense of, contain what appears to be spells. they mentioned where they lived to their boss and some coworkers and all hell broke loose and zaf had to leave the premises. paix apologized and said that lonnie had a reputation with the hotel staff and it kind of extended to everyone esle in the house. lonnie zipped through the ceiling and stated that they had ALWAYS had it out for him even BEFORE he stole that golf cart and the two start up another argument and the initial point is lost. 
but even months afterward, zaf cant forget the the moment of panic in their former boss’s eyes when they mentioned the house
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mini is a witch living in the woods. sam and the gang think shes their neighbor, but no one is really sure where she lives. she comes by the house every now and then. sam, paix, and zaf have invited her in but always stated that she cant come in. has started to come around more frequently after zaf showed her one of the book they had found, wondering if she could make any sense of it. usually cryptic mini straight up said it was incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands. the two have since working through the books to see if any of more of them had spell theorems that could ‘potentially warp the fabric of reality’ as mini had put it
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ruffiorocks · 5 years
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Lillian Luthor
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Seems its time for my daily overthinking post! I hope this doesn't become a thing!
So Supergirls identity has been a major thing in the last few episodes. I mean its always been a thing but until recently no one has been actively trying to find it out.
Now since Jonn has erased the DEO agents and Alex’s minds they think they have their bases covered. (Ignoring the fact that they glaringly should have erased James Olsen’s mind as well! No James hate, anyone wondering what im on about check out my previous post ‘Supergirls identity) But they are forgetting someone, and no it isnt Cat Grant. Guessed it yet? (im being ironic since its in the title). Lillian Luthor has known who Supergirl is since the Daxamites invaded. She even told kara she knew who she was. Now correct me if im wrong (no really correct me if im wrong because i cba going all the way through the eps again) the last time we saw Lillian as far as i remember was when she was trying to kill Morgan Edge whilst wearing a lexo suit. She was defeated and after a few brief words with Lena she was taken away in an ambulance and then presumably a prison cell somewhere. So Lillian is currently sitting in a cell somewhere in full knowledge of who Supergirl really is. Did Kara even tell Jonn and Alex the Lillian knows?
So we know that Lillian hasnt told Lena because she believes Lena will find out on her own and hate Kara.(an easter egg of Lena finding out? or just a dramatic line the writers will conveniently forget they ever wrote?)  But whats to stop Lillian getting exasperated with Lena’s obliviousness? She only has to mention who Kara is to a guard, another prisoner or over the phone to someone. Leaving Lillian in full knowledge of this secret is one of the dumbest things Kara has done.  
Why didnt Kara get Jonn to erase Lillian’s memory? Ok so she couldn’t at the time Lillian told her she knew since Lillian got away, but there was nothing stopping her from getting Jonn to do it before Lillian was taken to prison. Jonn doesnt like to mess with people’s minds because its a violation? Now, yes. But this is pre his dad showing up and Jonn renouncing violence of any kind. Also we never saw him have a problem using his powers on other people’s minds before this. Erasing and reading a mind isnt the same thing? Either one is still a violation when you think about it ) But of course we needed him to use his powers or whats the point in having a psychic character?)
Now we know Lex is set to arrive, so he must be escaping prison because a storyline with him being released would be stupid. So has he had a chat with mother dearest? Has Lillian found a way to tell Lex who Supergirl is? Remember this is the comic book world so even in solitary confinement prisoners always know things! Will Lex know who Supergirl is? Will he tell Lena just to be a dick or to try an get her on his side?
Whats to stop Lillian finding out the DEO is being run differently? She may even be on board with letting Col Haley know who Supergirl is since they want to control her. (Col Haleys’s words before Alex decked her).
Conclusion, KEEP TRACK OF WHO KNOWS YOUR SECRET KARA! Rao knows to many people know already. (Nia needs to know if she is going o be a superhero with Kara etc. Plus Lets remember Kara wouldn't have had motivation to tell Nia until Alex had her mind wiped, it was an empathy reveal etc.)
Wow that was a lot! If i got something wrong there somewhere tell me!
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severamagia · 5 years
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🖊 ariadne, honey & aurelia
OOH KIRO.... BLESS
i’ll keep them short because YEAHH
honey!
- honestly i think honey’s one of my cutest ocs, but it probably boils down to the fact that she’s a tad short and can kick ass. she wears this adorable little woven poncho thing that helps deflect the heat, and even has a pocket sown in on the inside so she can keep a light weight journal on her at all times.
- probably the most functional bi out there. not only does she help her parents with their ranch, she actively travels to get info on most everything, from the animals there to the people and the plants. she’s very organized and likes making lists, and beyond her handwriting being actually decent to look at, she does really cute calligraphy at the top of every page and indention. 
- her family are ranchers who take on monsters and study them, as well as basically like. have them on a farm, seeing as everyone gets their meat from monsters?? it was always strange to me that if this was their prime source of food, then they didn’t have any other means of getting it beyond hunters risking their lives?
- she has a cute yellow vespa but also has a really slick black motorcycle, one for leisurely rides in her area and the other for going anywhere over 100 miles away from home.
- her hair is a dark and natural 4B and most of the time she lets it grow out, but often loc her hair. 
- not saying her and cindy are in love, but they’ve deffffff had a thing
ariadne!!
- also really damn short, right around 5′2″. since im That Person her family’s involved with the forging of every caelum’s weapons, and has been since the beginning. because of this, she knows how to forge weapons of almost any type, but has a soft spot for swords.
- unlike honey, she’s a disaster bi, and should be kept on a short leash when around other diaster bis, as they all like to get together and cause havoc.
- gets losts in crowds often due to her height and ability to get distracted easily. often times the gang will find her in a random location somewhere nearby, or she’ll walk up after a while of being gone and when asked where she was, she’ll just shrug
- voted most likely to eat dirt out of the chocobros
- while she is a mess, at least she’s sort of a cute one. she got her septum done to get at her mom as a sort of defiance thing after her grandfather passed on, especially since after that she really wasn’t able to express herself in any other way, as she was stuck studying her ass off to finish school, to forge the best blade for noctis when he came of age, and to watch after her two younger siblings
- out of all the chocobros, she’s probably closest to ignis, as he helped her out through one of the worst times in her life-- though that was mostly on her, as she didn’t really reach out to anyone but him, even if it was to just ask for help. she’s a bit prideful and doesn’t like letting others see her hurt or know that she needs assistance, and it bit her in the ass
aurelia!!!
- i dont have too much on her other than the fact that she’s luna’s lady in waiting and the fact that she’s a big ole lesbian. honestly she was just made out of my desire of wanting to be a knight to a princess and, well, there you go
- she’s taller than luna by at least four inches
- her and ravus don’t tend to get along, as they both tend to stick to their guns and are very, very stubborn. ravus can admit that he likes that for luna, as he needs someone to protect her even when he can’t
- she has a bit of deadpan humor that can be taken really seriously if you don’t really know her, and she does feel bad when she makes people uncomfortable with it. she doesn’t have too much experience with people her own age outside of luna since she spent most of her life learning how to protect her, but she doesn’t mind too much. she’s a good person who just seems to take things too seriously, and it often feels like only luna can understand her, or even ravus
- honestly had the biggest crush on aranea when she met her but like honestly who hasnt
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batsintheshadows · 6 years
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Athera the Companion
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Inquisitor’s Name: Athera Lavellan Race / Class / Specialisation: Rogue Elf Assassin Gender Identity: Female
Varric’s Nickname for them: Antlers
Short bio: As a typical da’len hunter nearing the time she could recieve her vallaslin, Athera was taken by slavers while away from the camp with her younger brother. Her sacrifice allowed the clan to escape, but lead to a grueling ordeal before she escaped and found her way back home. Now she is a respected hunter and occasionally travels to visit the elves that live in human cities, so they may know more of their history should they be interested. She also assists with problems that the human guards tend to ignore.
What would their companion card look like? I actually commissioned one of these! it hasnt quite been finished yet tho.
Athera aiming her bow high above her head with a victorious smile as the sun rises, a halla head with three arrows in the horns formed from the clouds behind her and a green bird perched on her shoulder, coat billowing in the wind.
More under the cut, because theres gonna be a LOT here.
Recruitment mission: Athera approaches the Inquisition in Val Royeaux, quietly and from a side street. She wears a hood to hide her face and when asked about it she says that she may be making a poor choice, and if she is it would be better to have the option to hide. Athera tells the Inquisitor that she is visiting family in the city, and has discovered that elves have been vanishing. She says she wants to see what’s going on, but has a feeling that whatever is happening is too much for one person to handle. If pressed about her identity, Athera stays vague, saying that she could get in trouble for looking into this at all, and wouldn’t want that to affect anyone she cares about.
If the Inquisitor agrees to investigate she tells them to meet her at a certain location at midnight, and not to worry about her too much. She has enough martial training to help in any fights there might be.
When you meet up with her, Athera is nervous, checking her arrows and pulling her hood down further over her face. If you ask her about it she says she hasnt ever done “anything quite like this” before.
When you enter the building, you discover a slaver ring and some captured elves. Athera strikes first, no matter what you say, and in the ensuing fight her hood comes off, revealing her vallaslin. when everything is said and done Athera very pointedly ignores the party in favour of freeing the captured elves, who are very grateful for her arrival. She asks if they will be able to get back to the alienage safely and one of them says that they can get them there, leaving Athera free to look for letters and talk to the party.
She picks up some letters and folds her arms, and asks the Inquisitor if they are going to take any sort of action now that they know a Dalish elf is meddling in the city. There is an option to tell her that if she joins The Inquisition then the Inquisitor will stay quiet. Athera is silently furious, but says she would prefer this to end without bloodshed if possible. Athera Greatly Disapproves if you pick this option. You can also ask about her lying to the group. Athera claims she never lied and points out the ways that everything she said was technically true.
Otherwise you can attempt to turn her in, which causes her to flee and become unrecruitable. or you can say that you won’t alert the guards. In the latter case, she is grateful and asks to join The Inquisition. When asked why she says:
“I’m not stupid. A big hole in the sky? Demons around every corner? This could be the end of the world. My clan can’t outrun that. You’re the only ones I’ve seen even trying to make a difference. If theres any way out of this, its with the people that arent caught up in petty squabbles. So yes, I won’t like being away from my clan for so long, but I’ll like it even less if the world dies.”
She agrees to meet the Inquisitor back in Haven, and pulls her hood back up, heading off into the night.
Where they would be in Skyhold / Haven: In Skyhold she would probably hang around in the gardens, but move to somewhere around the stables if it was converted into a chantry garden. In Haven she would be on the docks by the frozen lake.
Personal quests: 
Quest 1: After arriving in Skyhold and gaining some approval, Athera will go over what she found in the slavers letters. She says that the slavers were reporting to a merchant called Vivicus, and that she suspects that theyre related to the Venatori. Athera has followed a trail that has ended in Redcliffe, and asks the Inquisitor to go with her as backup. If the Inquisitor tries to bring Dorian, the cutscene will not trigger and Athera will suggest trying again with “company better suited to the operation. Like people that never owned slaves maybe.” Once the cutscene triggers, Athera give you what she knows about the slaver. A small and pretty easy fight with demons ensues as you enter the building, and the party makes it up the stairs to a room with a man in fine clothes sitting on a chair facing away from the group. As the group approaches, the man falls sideways when touched, revealing he is very dead and has a note stapled to his chest that simply says “your move Inquisition -V”. Athera is upset by this, and tells the Inquisitor that they need to be sure the body gets proper death rites. Back at Skyhold Athera thanks the Inquisitor for their help and apologises for dragging them into her mess. She says that itll probably last a while as well, if this guys as much of an asshole as he seems to be.
Quest 2: Occurs after either The Fade or The Winter Palace. Athera is reading a letter, and claims that its information on Vivicus. If asked about where the letter came from, Athera says she’s been tracking weird courier orders and got lucky with this one. Athera says the letter reveals that Vivicus has somehow discovered her identity and is using it against her. She doubts her clan will be targeted, but asks permission to grant them safe passage through the surrounding lands and trading rights at Skyhold. She admits that in spite of what her clan could bring in, its really just a favour to her. If the Inquisitor agrees, you get the option to open a new area on the war table, but cannot select Dorian for the mission. When you arrive, you run into an ambush of slavers who seem to be expecting you. The fight is really difficult, but you only need to defeat half the slavers to trigger a rescue by Athera’s clan. As the last of the slavers fall, Athera gets the attention of one of the hunters and gives him a big hug, introducing him as her younger brother Elgadir. Elgadir is overjoyed to see his sister again and says the clan has been worried since she stopped writing. Athera replies she has been writing weekly and getting letters back as well. After a bit of confusion, they figure out something weird is going on, and tells the other hunters to check if any of the slavers are still alive. One is, and they get to them before the throat cutters do. Elgadir says that he doesnt much like the idea of bringing a slaver back to any of the clans camps, but if this problem is gonna get solved then they’ll probably have to. one of the other hunters goes ahead to warn the clan to prepare for a captive and some guests. Elgadir gives the Inquisition members a warning that if they do anything foolish, they will pay with their lives, but if they approach in good faith, then the clan will be happy to do business with them. The party is introduced to the clan and Athera goes off to talk with her brother and the Keeper, leaving the team free to explore. There are a few quests to help the clan or act like a dick, Athera gets approval or disapproval for them even though she isnt in the active party. To advance the quest, you enter the Keeper’s aravel. Athera sits with her brother hugging her, clearly distressed. The Keeper tells the Inquisitor that they have all come to a consensus that it would be a lot easier to deal with the situation with all the facts, and asks Athera if she would be willing to tell the story herself. Athera then tells the Inquisitor that she was taken from her clan by slavers around six years ago, and though she managed to fake her death and escape, Vivicus has discovered her identity and has been intercepting her letters for a while. The letter that sent her running back to her clan was to be sent to the person that owned her, and she intercepted a similar one at Skyhold intended to sow some discord. Athera says that its probably a game to Vivicus now, and that he will go to any lengths to win. She fears for her clan, as she fears for those she has become close with outside of it. At the prompting of the other two elves, Athera also admits to being very stressed out, since the Inquisitor unknowingly hired someone from the family that used to own her. “Theres a reason I don’t get along with Dorian, I’m scared to death of him.” The Inquisitor can tell Athera to stay with her clan for safety, offer to expel Dorian from the Inquisition (Athera will reject this idea because she knows the Inquisitor wouldnt have let Dorian stay if they didnt like him or need his help.), or keep to the plan of allowing the clan safety in the lands around Skyhold. Back at Skyhold, Athera thanks the Inquisitor for listening to her, saying she feels far more at ease now that someone knows, but begs the Inquisitor not to tell anyone her secret and to make tracking down Vivicus as much of a priority as possible, otherwise she doesnt know what could happen to her.
Quest 3: Takes place after the second main quest you complete after unlocking Skyhold. Athera and Dorian are arguing as the Inquisitor approaches them, though most of the shouting seems to be coming from Athera’s side with a lot of what is obviously swearing in elvish. When pressed, Athera accuses Dorian of going through her letters, and Dorian denies the accusation. “If you would listen before you started screaming at me, you would know that this is my letter. That I was trying to give to you quietly. But if you insist on discussing this in the courtyard...” Athera snatches the letter and runs away, leaving Dorian to ask the Inquisitor to go after her, saying that Athera probably wouldn’t want to see him right around now. When the Inquisitor finds Athera she is incredibly upset, and lets them know that this letter has been opened and Dorian knows who she is now. The Inquisitor can comfort her or be awful, and after theyre done talking Dorian knocks on the door, asking to come in. Athera tells him to keep his distance, and he agrees. Trying to lighten the tension, Dorian makes a joke about how Vivicus is really an idiot if he thinks sending Dorian a letter is going to do anything, what with the whole pariah thing. No one laughs. Athera asks Dorian what he’s going to do, and Dorian suggests using the note to lure Vivicus out. “We’ve been playing cat and mouse for months. I’ll be glad to see it end.” Athera tells Dorian that she doesn’t trust him, and will only go if the Inquisitor comes too. Dorian agrees, and they begin to make a plan, through the door because Athera can’t face him yet. After this, a war table mission to smuggle a letter to Vivicus opens up, and once it is completed a mission on the storm coast opens up called “Trigger Venatori Trap”. Once there the party fights off some Venatori, and Athera slowly breaks ranks with the group, making herself an easier target and leading to Vivicus showing himself at last. The rest of the party sets up a good flanking position and a boss battle against Vivicus, who is a blood mage and ACTUALLY DOES BLOOD MAGE STUFF WHY DID THEY LEAVE THIS OUT OF DAI???, begins as Dorian makes a snappy “oh what an idiot” type remark at Vivicus. The party are victorious, and they return to Skyhold where Athera tells the Inquisitor that she has no idea what to do now, since she has no way of knowing who Vivicus sent letters to. If you did a war table mission to stop the letters, you are able to reassure her that the Inquisition has the situation under control. Athera says that she likes the Inquisition, and whatever comes she would like to stay until the end as long as her and Dorian are kept separate. Preferably on opposite sides of the castle. At this point Dorian wanders past because a little light humour won’t kill anyone and begins yammering on about their victory a little too nervously. He admits that he’s been feeling a bit nervous since finding out about Athera’s past, but has done some deep soul searching and wants to apologise for how the relationship between the two of them has been. He promises to try and do better in the future, to which Athera replies “You’d better! Your family put me through hell! The least you can do is try and make it better.” Dorian doesnt make eye contact, and promises to keep her words in mind. He also says that they don’t need to speak again if Athera needs space. Athera says that would be for the best, but she won’t complain if they end up working together since stopping the end of the world is more important than the hurt one person carries. As Dorian turns to leave, she lets him know that once corypheus is dead all bets are off, and that she’ll probably throw him out the window, but the comment doesnt have much bite to it.
How to get their approval: helping elves and mages, respecting artifacts, killing venatori, freeing slaves, and generally not being an ass.
How to get their disapproval: Cruelty to elves and elven relics, slavery in any form, chantry and templar supporting, being an ass to mages, and victim blaming anyone.
Are they romanceable? Y/N Can you have sex with them? Y/N Are they open to polyamoury? Y/N If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who? Sera already gets with Dagna, so odds are Athera wouldn’t get with anyone if unromanced.
Who are they friendly with? Vivienne and Sera (after a while).
Who do they dislike? Cassandra, Dorian, and Solas.
Companion card changes: (use a text descrip. if you have no images)
Loyalty:  Athera stands in the middle of a dark forest, her bow ready to draw and a smile on her face as she moves. the trees are gnarled and twisted, something could be hiding in them. but she is armed, and the forest is her home.
Romance: (if any) The bow and arrows have been put aside, and Athera sits cross legged by a campfire. there are trees all around and Athera has a serene smile on her lips and a look of total peace in her eyes.
Side Missions: (eg: fetch / gather / kill quests) None because fuck those. Ok maybe destroying monuments to the Exalted March on the Dales. Thatd be pretty satisfying. Also a war table mission to ensure that no letters get to the Pavus family that unlocks a dialogue option at the end of Athera’s last quest.
Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit? Templars fuck shit up, mages have been friends and guides to the clan and the Templars always try to take them away and people get hurt. She would rather just leave the Templars alone entirely. And of course mages can be trusted with their own lives! Everyone else does it what makes them so bloody different?
She has more nuanced opinions on the Chantry and how it relates to the oppression of mages and elves, and how its all a bid for power, but she’ll only talk abt it with an Inquisitor she likes.
Something guaranteed to make them leave the party: defiling the graves at the elven burial site in the exalted plains, killing the golden halla, or straight up betraying her.
Special Events:
Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your Inquisitor holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year?
Athera is almost unable to speak at all after a year in Redcliffe. She talks in fragments, and when she first sees the Inquisitor she just stares at them for a long time with a blank look on her face, waiting for them to either do something or vanish. Whenever Dorian speaks she glares at him. After all, this guy from Tevinter shows up and then everything fails and the world dies? She’s been blaming him. The Inquisitor has to talk her down.
She puts all her remaining energy into the fight ahead, wordless, expressionless, and merciless. When it comes time to hold off the horde she says in the flattest voice possible “Going out. Hold them off. Do not fail. Dareth Shiral.”
At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace?
Athera spends most of the party doing things to mildly offend the Orlesian elite, talking with the elves, and quietly smashing expensive vases when no ones looking. She likes being in Halamshiral, hates what it is now, and corners more than a few nobles and gives them a “history lesson.” She will do the same to the Inquisitor if they ask, but will be less passive aggressive about it. She also complains about the outfits, saying she hates red but Josephine wanted everyone to “present a unified front” and she couldnt wriggle out of it.
She also takes joy in being announced as “Athera Lavellan, Hunter of Clan Lavellan and Emissary to the Cities.” since she’s betting he’s never had to introduce an elf before, let alone introduce one with a few titles.
When asked about it later, Athera says the only good thing at Halamshiral was Briala, with various comments depending on what happened.
In the Fade: Your Inquisitor’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Archdemon’s taunt, and Inquisitor’s response? Epitaph on their grave?
Athera does not understand any of this. She shoots arrows, mainly at wolves and terrible people. now there are demons here because its their home that theyre the ones invading and what with recent events theres pretty strong evidence that this sort of thing doesnt end well. Athera isnt mindlessly terrified, but she. wants. OUT.
Nightmare: “What’s this now? Valeria, pretending to be a wild elf? You looked much better in red.”
Athera: “Say that name one more time and I’ll rip you in half.”
OR
Nightmare: “Dont worry about Marcus hating you for leaving him. He died a month later, his thieving ways finally discovered and punished.”
Athera: “You-you’re lying! Theres no possible way for you to know that!”
Nightmare: “That you know of.”
Athera’s grave says “Losing Herself” 
Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser?
Athera spent the past two years using the influence gained during her time in the Inquisition to help elves in both the cities and the wilds. she has busted up a few more slaver rings and is one of sera’s contacts. she has traded information with the Inquisition out of respect for her place in it and so leliana can send her some useful stuff back. she’s been using her clan as a safe place, and looks forward to returning every second she is away.
Other Major Events: Any other major events that happen with them over the course of the main game?
She becomes friends with Sera, who she likes for not taking things too seriously when everyone else is so grim.
She also has a Talk with a human Inquisitor romancing Sera that more or less amounts to “I know ur cool so this whole thing is probably legit, but if u ever hurt sera i’ll cut off your arm and hit u with it ok good talk kiddo love u bye!”
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu this took a long time and a lot of thought, but i had LOADS of fun doing it! I always like working on Athera’s backstory, though nothing is quite 100% set in stone yet sooooo... dont quote me on any of this.
I was tagged by @heyscience and i am throwing this tag right back at you! Do it!
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flockofdoves · 3 years
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wait ok maybe a bad time to start this at 1:30am (<- started this post last night lmao) but i’ve been thinking so much (for a long time but this week i think maybe prompted by jonny saying stuff in the s5 q&a part 3 about fanon character designs getting more homogenous as the fandom gets bigger its really been on my mind again) about my thoughts on the magnus archives character design stuff
(this turned into such a fucking long post my god sorry lol. just writing this for my own purposes really but i feel ridiculous i spent like a good portion of the past day writing this out dkjfhgfd)
like i already said on that other post character design stuff is full of so much under the surface both really silly and almost nonsensical (like ‘oh this character just feels like they have a lot of triangles incorporated into their design’ or the slightly more connected to reality arbitrary ideas people have about what type of character might wear glasses) and stuff thats incredibly loaded and very much connected to real life systems of oppression. so its like. idk. i like drawing people and fashion and harmonizing shapes and the idea of coming up with people who dont exist through abstracted drawings that somehow click and that can feel cohesive even with different angles/expressions/poses/etc is really fun to me conceptually but Character Design(tm) as a thing even outside of established tropes and schools of it that really lean into elements that can uphold gross shit as shorthand just inevitably theres so much to consider in the implications of making a person (visually) and ascribing traits to them (or i guess in this case largely the opposite)
so thats not something id call fun its just important and inevitably a big factor if i’m going to put any of this to words and can only hope i do so non-clumsily when i wanna talk about this on the whole just bc i find the process of how fanon designs get homogenized interesting (and the purpose of it understandable and maybe a bit inevitable in certain contexts) but also regardless of any actual potential problematic implications in any of that just bc i like the creative process of coming up with character designs i like trying to see when it comes to practicing that through applying it to characters in non-visual media i care about how i can break my guides for what they could look like down to their bare essentials between canon description, things i vibe with personally, etc so that if i have all that written down for myself it can be a good starting place for just experimenting with designs (i dont have any desire to settle on any one design for these characters but its just good general practice for this stuff) and maybe pushing a bit against some things that seem to be generally defaulted to mix things up or w/e. so yeah i’ve just wanted to write all this out for myself for a while, so after that long fucking intro fdkgh here goes!
jon!!!
ok so canonically hes born about 1987 and is like roughly 28-31 throughout the series but looks older to the point where he straight up lies and says hes a decade older at one point, he has graying hair, has been described as looking like he hasnt slept in weeks
(this bullet point contains spoilers up to early s4) depending on what part of canon youre describing him in he canonically has scars from worms probably all over his body (post ep 39), a burn scar on his hand (probably right and probably roughly shaped like a handprint) (post ep 89), actually i’m checking on the wiki now and it specifically says melanie stabbed him in the shoulder? but rereading the transcript and another couple parts that i thought potentially could mention it i dont believe it ever actually specifies (maybe the person who wrote that is conflating how both melanie and daisy’s first injuries from the slaughter are on their shoulders? so even if not canon good guess i guess that his scar from thats on his shoulder) (post ep 125) plus also probably on his throat from daisy (post ep 91), somewhere from michael stabbing him (post ep 47), and who knows maybe even something from mike crew (probably not it was just the height part of things not a lightning strike but i saw fanart of him getting a lichtenberg figure scar once from that which was interesting) (post ep 91)
has been described as ‘scrawny’ and ‘little’ which may just be more of a insult but because of that i support manlet jon lol. also because of that tend to think of him as skinny and not very muscular but i’m def not opposed to him being fat i think its really fun when i do see interpretations of him as such esp in juxtaposition with martin its nice having stuff sometimes where its two fat characters in a relationship. but if i’m leaning on every little word to narrow down character design i’d say hes most likely thin and probably short too.
getting into stuff with no real canon basis, i am a fan of him having long hair like a lot of fanon has him with. its a very tangential justification because i know its more the specific events surrounding this this was describing but when he was described as a “grubby jesus” that helped lol
but! my jon hair opinion that seems to differ from fanon is that i think maybe itd make sense with him being described as looking older and stuff to give him a bit of a receding hairline
not sure about glasses either way i think it just comes down to the specific design whether it looks good or not. there is something conceptually funny to me about giving an avatar of the eye glasses and debating whether that “makes sense” or not lol. one time i saw someones design where he stopped needing to wear glasses later on and i thought that was kinda fun
i don’t really care for like. idk. glowing green eyed jon or multiple eyes or w/e. like i get it. idk probably somethings happening when hes doing like the ceaseless watcher thing or like that one scene where he forced a statement out of that person who described him as “all eyes” like the phrase but maybe not just that as a phrase. so that plus the cover art of the show being green and making people probably theme stuff on that color i guess i cant blame people for doing that but idk just like. it feels kinda just Blah and not that novel to see a lot of the time and a bit too tropey or w/e for my personal taste unless people mix it up a bit. so i tend to prefer him just looking like some guy even later on usually. also with just like brown eyes or w/e
okay so this next part is for both jon and martin because i cant fit this into either of their sections because i feel like i cant adequately talk about this without doing it in juxtaposition to one another
this post summarizes basically anything i’m reiterating here far better but basically by nature of this being a podcast written by a white person for whom most of the first characters voiced (who included most of the most frequently appearing characters outside of those described by others because they were reoccurring avatars or w/e long before voice appearances) were from a small pool of people at a majority white company and their family members, even if that wasnt “intentional” of course that pattern happens so much and more productions should be conscious of that from the get go and reach outside their immediate circles to cast more actors of color from the start of their productions if they have the resources to properly compensate them. so basically from there theres no real totally satisfying solution for portraying “aracial” characters acted and written by white people’s race, because the situation just isn’t ideal in the first place
so like, with that in mind, i know its a bit of a mixed bag with jon in fanon being pretty consistently either ambiguously a person of color or specifically south asian, because i know people of color who were excited from fanon going in for him to be a person of color only to realize hes written and voiced by a white guy and has no canon race (which might just somewhat default to him being written as white since theres no active thought to how him being a person of color, let alone any specific race or ethnicity, might affect anything), but then on the other hand, characters with no race given being defaulted to being portrayed as white is absolutely another common issue in fandoms of things like books and podcasts. so personally because of that i would feel weird portraying him as white in my own designs in contrast with how consistently hes depicted as a person of color, but i would be interested in potentially depicting him as other races beyond the default fanon of him being south asian too (although theres def stuff to consider there that doesnt prevent any interpretation but just is there regardless like his dynamic with daisy in like s4)
and then this post expresses things better than i could ever rehash, but because of the stuff outlined in there in my own attempts at character designs i try to avoid making martin white because of the juxtaposition between that and making jon a person of color in their dynamic. not as pertinent and not something i’ve taken in from any fan of color saying it so i’m definitely not dictating this just talking out my thought process, but by extension of this i’ve also tried to consider how colorism in juxtaposition between them might make it sit better to have martin have darker skin than jon. this does get a bit weird though when balancing how martin has a couple really goofy lines implying ignorance about police abusing their power (i guess charitable interpretations could be that hes plenty aware but nonetheless vocalizing shock in the moment of it actually happening in front of him), so even if as one of the few characters i’ve posted designs of before i drew him as black, when i remembered those lines i guess its just an issue of an “aracial” character being defaulted to being written as if hes white, so even if he certainly could still be black (or any race besides white who might not have the luxury of ignorance about police brutality) it just makes clear that by him being written the way he was nothings ideal because theres not necessarily much depth that can be taken from canon to make certain depictions of him as satisfying or well fleshed out as they could be. oh also so inconsequential to the rest of this and i dont care about this at all beyond just latching onto any scrap to base things off of but the fact that martin maybe knows at least some polish i feel like thats not a language most people just know from school (esp as someone who didnt go to college) or w/e so maybe his mom is polish so probably hes part white at least to wildly extrapolate from there? idrc tho its just one more thing to note on the subject depictions of jon and martins races
martin!
canonically the same age as jon (so approximately born 1987 and roughly 28-31 throughout the series)
theres at least like 4 things in canon that can be used to say hes canonically fat, and some of those lines also more just generally describe him as “big” or w/e so while i dont care about sticking to this as much its easy to argue hes tall too (esp that one point where he says a worm “jumped literally 6 feet through the air at my face” which i guess could be approximate or the worm like. arcing lol and also iirc jonny says he doesnt remember writing that line but regardless its another thing to latch onto to narrow down design stuff)
melanie!
canonically has a scar on her shoulder (as of late 2016), probably on her leg too (if not by early 2017 then by early 2018/ep 125), and is described as skinny
(spoilers for late s4) (also eye trauma mention) post ep 155 she’s blind but trying to research what exactly she might look like like would the results of the damage she does with the awl after going to the hospital would her eyes need to be eviscerated vs enucleated? idk. thinking about lydia saying in a s3 extra in retrospect talking about this where shes like ‘it wouldn’t work like that with [an awl]!’ bc . lol yeah idk. or like would she have scarring on her eyelids or anything, would she have glass eyes, would she feel a need to wear sunglasses to protect her eyes or as a visual cue that shes blind (bc idt shed be the type to just wear it to hide her eyes) or not, etc. i’m not sure! one thing i do know for sure though thats a pet peeve in art is that people make her cane have a red stripe on it when it the UK especially a red striped white cane is for deafblind people, so her cane is most likely just plain white (also theres different styles of white canes but from researching i think shed probably make use of a long cane imo)
my biggest non-canon appearance thought about her is just. melanie king butch 💗
i do think its fun when characters get drawn with unnaturally colored dyed hair for no real reason and do think people should have fun with that more but simultaneously the contrarian in me gets annoyed with how common blue grown out roots straight hair bob melanie is. like the fun of the novelty of being ‘fuck it dying this characters hair’ gets sucked out of it from it being so consistent in fanon. also while she def could be a long haired butch or w/e regardless i just wish fanon of her was way more masc for my own self indulgent reasons
basira
i think the only canonical appearance description is the implication that shes not thin by jared when describing her, melanie, and martin, distinguishing melanie as “the skinny one”
hussain specifically as a surname spelled that way while i’m def no expert, from people i know personally and looking online too seems to be most common specifically with pakistani, indian, and bangladeshi muslims so it makes the most sense to have her be depicted as south asian. considering her VA, her being part black could make sense too but also i feel like its kinda a Thing in a lot of media where they’ll barely have black characters but when they do they’ll make them cops so like idk that’d def require more thought to it.
definitely not on authority on this of course this is just me talking through my own thoughts but i feel like maybe the common fanon of her being a hijabi feels a bit just like . theres not much thought behind it for a lot of people doing it? like it feels like ‘she has a muslim name’ -> ‘she’s muslim’ -> ‘she wears a hijab’ and not much else. like theres just like a whole lot that would need to be unpacked with any main character being religious in this series and actually specifically iirc theres a part in season 5 or something where her and jon reflect on the implications of all this on human religion? and both seem a bit agnostic in their approach. and of course theres people who wear hijabs who arent particularly religious (just like obviously vice versa) but for adults in places that arent majority muslim i feel like a main motivator for that would be connection with ones wider community? but basically all of the main characters in this story like necessarily with the themes and how all this was able to happen to them they feel pretty atomized from any real community (she specifically is paralleled with martin in how she latches onto daisy) none of this is at all to say she couldn’t be practicing islam and/or a hijabi but just that if thats how people want to depict her i think it deserves more thought than just drawing her as such (like for one example of how people have done cool things with making characters muslim i appreciate this artists comics about muslim jon (1, 2, 3)) but yeah! idk just something i’ve been thinking about but very much is not something i can act like an authority on of course. because being a hijabi is something stigmatized i do nonetheless feel slightly weird if i were to go against that fanon but idk
part of me is like ‘we dont need more butch cops’ but then the other part of me just defaults to wanting to make every woman gnc lol. for w/e reason i tend to picture her dressing pretty practically in like khaki cargo pants and hiking boots and flannels and such
daisy
canonically theres here starburst shaped scar on the back of her shoulder
(spoilers for mid s4) i dont care to find it now but i feel like once she was described as scrawny or skinny or whatever (not sure how much focusing on muscle vs thinness if so) but if so that was after she came out of the coffin so i dont think that really implies she always looked like that and i think maybe even by contrast could be implying she was muscular before
def think it makes sense to make her white. generally i do see her similar to fanon depictions of her although i do kinda wish in juxtaposition people would make more women look butch besides her. i think when i first pictured her before seeing fanart or anything it was pretty similar in build and hair color and demeanor such as most of fanon but i pictured her with like . you know like the tight bun women in the military wear lol. so its more ambiguous if her flavor of powertripping “tough” white woman is gay or not. but idrc regardless i dont plan on making much art of her
tim
uhhh i think the only canonical description of him beyond his worm scars (post ep 39) is that basira called him hot in comparison to jon and martin lol
ever since i started listening i keep defaulting to picturing him vaguely like tim from marble hornets lol. so like idk i think its fun when he has defined eyebrows and sideburns and stuff. but not even that i’m really Set on i think theres a lot of fun potential designs for him
sasha
canonically has long hair, is tall, and has glasses
(spoilers for either end of s1 or end of s2 depending on if you’ve figured out something. if you know you know lol) like obviously theres weird stuff in juxtaposition if you make not!sasha a different race than her. i think probably regardless theyre the same race considering melanie didnt note that when describing what sasha looked like. idrc about figuring out what not!sasha looks like ig if i ever make art of her i’ll just figure it out
i think this was the first art i ever saw of her like right around the week or so i started listening to the show that was posted and a mutual reblogged it so i think from basically the start thats how i pictured her essentially. but the main parts of ‘long dark hair, glasses’ i internalized from that are so close to just canon so maybe not saying much
georgie
uhhhh i dont think theres any canon description of her? and i dont have very many opinions on what she does look like honestly except that i think she looks very bisexual lol. i like the idea of her presenting pretty gnc but still maybe having some fun with feminine aesthetics too, but honestly making her present totally masc is really cool too
oh also wrt body type stuff. part of me is a bit tired of how sometimes it feels like fat characters only get to be in romantic relationships if its with skinny characters and rarely are there character designs of two fat people together and melanie is canonically skinny (which doesnt really matter i Could ignore it but i like latching onto descriptions just to narrow things down) and jons maybe implied to be which makes jon/martin like that too. but on the other hand idec i care more about just having fat wlw characters so if melanie in all i project on her cant be that then georgie will be
oliver!
only canonical description of him i believe is “tall, black and careworn, deep lines of worry etched into an otherwise handsome face”
uhh beyond that idk.. not really set on this at all but i feel like maybe he dresses like. business goth lol. like idk. well put together casual clothes like nice quality short sleeve button ups and chinos or nice cuffed jeans but maybe darker colors and a bit of a vaguely edgy but not tacky flair (like fucking idk. raven pattern button up or something lol)
i saw some art of him once where he had long locs and also just idk he was like doing that ominous floaty thing which included his hair and that had a nice rhythm in the art together with the black tendrils in the background so i could appreciate him having long locs/braids/twists or something. but def not set on that and ofc theres like a lot of years to depict him between he could have various hair styles
this is hard to really judge but ive seen posts where people are like ‘haha i draw oliver just like i drew kravitz in the adventure zone’ which is like vaguely annoying to me idk lol. but of course i cant Really know if thats what people are doing from depiction alone bc theres no set appearance for kravitz himself but sometimes i get the Vibes thats whats someones doing and its just like. whatever idk. branch out and design another character!!
there are literally soooooo many more characters i really thought i could make a short-ish thing for each character beyond a few necessary addendums but god even on inconsequential shit this post is already SO fucking long lol so i’m giving up for now i’ve done most of the main people plus my favorite side character so its fine i can get back to this later if i really want to
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