#and the survivors realising was even worse

[chestnutisland]

I watched RoF...now you get to angst and suffer with me...>D

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Therapeutic

New drabble drop. The awaited conversation between Dream and Ccino. @spotaus you ready for another gut punch for Dream my friend :D

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no edit or beta! :D

*-------------------*

Dream tugs on his vest as he glances at the cafe door.

He sees more people leave. As they have been for the last half hour.

It is fine! There is no reason to be nervous! He is just going to visit a place where someone works and lives who may have been kinda friends with Dream's brother!

The same brother that Dream has been actively working against because he was so convinced he knew better what was going on and instead of talking to his twin Dream decided it was smarter to trust other people's opinions who Dream had only known for a while and who were not close to his brother at all!

The same brother that seems to have disappeared and who Dream is no worried sick about while everyone around him celebrates his disappearance! Again because Dream messed up his job!

Dream leans against the wall and tries to calm his racing soul "it is fine. it is fine. it is fine. the worst that can happen is him telling you to get the fuck out and never return." which would include dream losing his one possible lead to find his brother.

Happy thoughts.

...

Dream shakes his skull. no. No forced happy thoughts. that is part of the reason he is struggling this much now.

Dream takes adeep breath and mutters to himself "let the fear be there. let it be with you. but don't let it consume you. don't let it keep you from doing what you wish to do." a bit of an exercise that Blue's Undyne had thought of for him. As she also struggles mentally with quite a few things.

Dream nods to himself and slowly nears the door to the cafe. a glance inside. just to make sure he isn't still busy. damnit the cafe is empty.

Well! Here goes nothing and everything!

He pushes the door open.

Ccino looks up and speaks with a practised smile "Welcome to the Cuddly Cat-" he stops and stares.

Dream tries to look calm but can't help himself as he slowly raises his hand and gives it a tiny wave.

Ccino's shock transforms into a glare as he hisses out "Well if it isn't the god that didn't even bother to read his own job description.".

Dream can't help but start laughing. It is almost a relieve! so many people had been trying to cheer him up and reassuring him that everyone messes up and that what he did wasn't that bad. It is so much better. He hadn't realised how badly he wanted at least one person to actually hold him accountable. To actually look him in the face and just straight up tell him he messed up.

Dream smiles brightly at Ccino as he answers "I know right? I made a mess of things… It is just…" he takes a deep breath. the hard part. Why he came here and hoped Ccino would have info. Because over the last few weeks a memory had suddenly stood out to him. cats who all looked and acted so much like others who Dream knew "I heard you have... very special cats and i was hoping to meet them?"

Ccino hesitates. Ccino keeps glaring at him but then his sight turns slightly and Dream can see him eye a piece of paper. Dream glances at it and sees his own pamphlet. He had left them in every universe he could think of to give everyone a quick update.

It is still a lot of work to continue clean up all the hatred he had unknowingly spread and promoted but it was a start.

Ccino sighs but he waves him over "make sure to turn the sign to closed please."

Dream blinks before smiling brightly as he does just that. he steps fully inside and turns the sign.

Ccino goes around quickly and closes the curtains and everything. Then he walks over to a table and just takes a seat.

Dream joins him at the table and smiles "thank you so much for doing this."

Ccino huffs as he leans on his fist "I figured you would keep bothering me otherwise."

It hurts to not be trusted nad Dream wonders if Nighty had to feel this daily. First in their own universe and than still in the multiverse. for over 500 years. actually being able to feel how everyone hated and distrusted him.

Dream rubs his hands "I... i would have respected a no... if you want i can still leave." he doesn't want to lose this chance... but he can't make stuff even worse. He just misses his brother so much. had missed him for so long already.

Ccino just waves it off and looks at him expecting.

Dream swallows and looks around the cafe for a moment before looking back at Ccino "I... i remembered that some of your cats were... special... in their looks and acting.. .and I was wondering... is it a coincidence or..."

Ccino snorts as he leans back "Yes. they are counterparts to other outcodes and important players in the multiverse. No i don't specifically look for them or get them or make them." he rolls his eye lights "They just show up at my front or back door and i let them stay. Sometimes some leave again."

Dream gives a slow nod and manages to gather his nerves "is... is... Is my brother's? Is my brother's cat okay? I... I can't remember seeing his cat and it is my brother! He is a god he has to be important and be here at least." he can't keep the desperate hope in anymore.

Ccino shrugs "being a god doesn't necessarily mean they show up here. it would be rather busy in here otherwise as there is a surprising large number of gods." he huffs and dream can hear Ccino mutter "with multiple universes completely focussed on making gods and having gods."

Dream alughs and nods "that is fair... it is just... i remember seeing a cat that was.. well... me.... I figured.. .there is no way that i would be there and not Nightmare."

Ccino snorts and grins "Every protagonist needs an antagonist after all."

Dream glares at the table before shooting him a glare "no not like that!"

Ccino tilts his skull and grins "relax. Antagonist doesn't automatically mean evil or anything. it means they are someone who goes against the protagonist and their goal." he shrugs "seeing as we both know nightmare had been right and you were wrong. he was still the antagonist in your story."

Dream shakes his skull "he wasn't!"

Ccino glares at him "it isn't like you left him any other role to play."

it hurts so much to know that and Dream glares "i know! Okay?! I know I messed up. I just want to find him and apologise. i need to tell him i am sorry and that he was right." that Dream lvoes him. that he is sorry. and that... that it is okay if nightmare hates him... that dream would deserve that but dream needs to make sure that nightmare knows he is sorry. that Dream regrets everything and is trying to make it right again.

Ccino stares at him before sighing and getting up. he walks towards the cattree and Dream feels his hopes fall. he is going to be send away... not even a single clue and-

very angry cat meowing as Dream watches his own counterpart cat be pushed into a side room and the door to close. Next ccino goes to the counter. He dips behind it and Dream hears a cabinet open.

After he hears panicked meowing as Ccino rises again. in his arms a large cat. maybe a main coone? but Dream feels himself start to hope as he can spot four large tails and one slow blinking cyan eye.

That is... oh fuck... that actually is!

Ccino wlaks over as three cats follow him on the ground. Dream looks at them and it is pretty obvious it are Killer, Cross and Horror. Dream wonders why they are following when he sees the cat and feels his soul grow cold.

Nightmare's.... his cat looks sick and tired.

Ccino sits in a chair closer to Dream as he gently pets the cat. Nightmare's cat purrs and leans into the touches.

Killer's cat jumps on the table and meows loudly before marching over to Ccino's side and nudging his arm. Ccino stops with petting and Killer's cat stands partly in Ccino's lap to nuzzle and clean ngihtmare's cat.

Dream looks at ccino "waht... why is he...?"

Ccino answers softly "sick? tired? older? I don't know. I have no idea what caused this..." he loks so sad as he pets the cat "I never saw anything like this before..."

Dream remembers his own weakening powers. the way he had been slowly but surely loosing his own powers and magic as he has lost his domain.

This confirms it... Nightmare's also lost his... but he was being kept alive by said magic and powers.

Dream raises a shaky hand "can i... cna i try to heal him?" anything. please let him try.

Ccino looks very unsure and loks at the cats before looking back at the door where Dream can hear his own cat version scream its head off.

Ccino sighs and nods "you can try. nothing the vet did seemed to help him much. he is just... much older now according to him."

Dream still tries. he first pets the cat gently. the goop feels strange but comforting. Dream never thought he would think of the goop like that. he had believed for so long that the goop had taken his brother from him. that it was something to be removed. But if the goop was just the apples magic trying to keep him whole? How could dream hate it? How could he hate something that saved his brother?

Now it is his turn.

He holds his hand near the rib cage of the cat and he can see NGihtmare's cat shoot him a suspicious look.

Ccino chuckles "i wouldn't touch a cat's belly if i were you. that is a very strict no-touching zone for most of them, no matter who you are."

dream shoots him a smile "that is okay. i wasn't going to touch him there." and even if he wouldn't mind too much. he focusses the little magic he still has and tries to heal the cat.

His magic doesn't touch anything that could be healed. according to his magic everything going on wiht the cat is natural and normal. there is nothing to heal.

Dream frowns as he pulls his hand back and looks sad at nightmare's cat. Dream can't even help him like this...

Ccino sighs but seems unsurprised "I figured as much... don't feel bad. the vet already tried healing magic himself. I just try to make sure he can relax and rest."

Dream frowns at the door "why keep... my cat version away from him?" doens't he hear how desperate his cat is calling for nightmare's?

Ccino looks to the side and shrugs "i mean... before when these two got near each other your cat would... well... attack... all the time. It was saver for both to keep them seperated. and now wiht him weaker... I just didn't want to risk it." ccino pets the old cat.

Dream's hand forms fists as he glares down. his sockets itch with tears but he forces them in. this isn't about you. this isn't about you. your brother is dying somewhere. this isn't the time to make this about you or your pain. you don't even have the right to feel the pain. you are part if not the whole reason this happened.

Ccino gets up and takes nightmare's cat with him again. Dream wants to stop him. beg him to just let him hold his brother's counterpart. if only for a little while. but he doesn't.

Dream remembers how his own aura and the goop could get when they met in battle. he doesnt want to risk making it worse.

ccino returns to their table. also the other three following him gone again.

Dream feels hopeful and stares at him "his... his gang cats stay with him?"

Ccino blinks but grins "yeah. all the time. there is always at least one wiht him."

Dream sighs and smiles "that is good... that... that should mean he has them with him now right? that he isn't alone?" at least?

Ccino shrugs "it means there is no animosity between them all. that they all care. that is all i am sure about."

drema nods and rubs his arm "why... why don't people remember this? I get why you don't tell but how come no one notices?"

ccino shrugs "i am not sure how. people just don't. if anyone is willing to hurt someone within the cat group? they just.. don't notice or remember. it is why i am even willing to have this conversation. you remembering implies you won't hurt him."

dream feels himself relax and nods "i won't" never again.

Ccino nods "i figured... but that is what i know. i don't have any othr information for you."

dream smiles "that is okay... he is alive... and most likely not alone. that is more than i knew before." he may not be able to find nightmare fast. but he has a place where he can go to check if nghtmare is still alive. and then while he waits for their meeting. Drema can work on himself.

He can work on teaching the multiverse the truth and find his own calling.

Dream can work on his own trauma nad heal.

All while he searches for his brother.

This? This just showed that it isn't too late. His brother is still somewhere and there is time to fix this mess.

It won't be easy. but he can fix this. and that gives him hope.

*-------------------*

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[bougiebutchbitch]

Friend: why do you ship G1 Megastar

Me: oh, easy! It's a toxic, codependent, fucked-up-but-fairly-equal relationship between two terrible people! That's my whole jam.

Friend: okay so why do you ship tfp Megastar?

Me: well...

Look - first off, shipping doesn't mean 'viewing in a romantic light'. It means 'oh my god these guys have an interesting dynamic and so much history. I want them to divorce and never see each other again, and for both of them to heal and grow separately - but I also want Starscream to brutally murder Megatron because that would be cathartic for me, personally'

Tfp Megastar is blatant abuse - flavoured with hints that they Used To Be Something, only their once-noble ideals were warped by the war! Megatron fell back into the cycle of abuse and violence he's been trapped in his whole life - since he was a literal slave! Starscream is his favourite victim.

But because he and Megatron had very different coping mechanisms when facing abuse and brutality, Megatron feels justified in looking down on Starscream for fawning and freezing rather than fighting back.

(hell, a part of Megatron wishes Starscream would fight back because in his mind that would be Growth for his cowardly little lieutenant, even if Megatron would just fucking annihilate him. Meanwhile, Starscream knows he's brutally outmatched, which is why he begs and sobs and pleads because it's literally his only option from his perspective. A survival tactic is a survival tactic is a survival tactic; one is not morally superior to another. But try telling Megatron that, lol)

There were good times but they DO NOT make up for the horrific bad times. But there were still good times, y'know?

Anyway, Starscream continued the abuse cycle to a lesser degree with Knock Out and the drones (and later the Predacons), because he cannot conceive of any other way to be Powerful. He is so fucking insecure and has internalised a lot of the way Megatron talks to him as being true, even if outwardly he projects a narcissistic self-obsessed veneer of confidence.

BUT HE STILL ABUSES OTHERS JUST LIKE MEGATRON WHENEVER HE GETS THE CHANCE! LET'S NOT PRETEND OTHERWISE!!! THAT'S STILL VERY MUCH A THING!

Anyway. Things change for the better! Starscream walks the fuck away because he's sick and tired of being Megatron's punching bag!

It just... doesn't last.

He can't build a life for himself in part because he has 0 support network, but also because he's a self-obsessed neurotic bastard (whether as a survival tactic where he's learnt for so long that it's safest to only care for himself, or because he's just a trashy person, ymmv). He fails at meshing into the Autobots even as a Neutral.

So he goes back to Megatron and begs for another chance.

He gives up on all hopes of being anything but Megatron's lackey for him to smack about as he sees fit - but Megatron also stops hitting him? He seems to realise that treating Starscream that way was just fucking him up???

Of course, this doesn't mean things are miraculously fixed, or that the abusive dynamic is broken. It isn't even the typical 'honeymoon phase' you see in abusive relationships. It's... worse.

Because Starscream is desperate for Megatron's acknowledgement and respect. With every snub from Megatron, he fucks up more in his panicked scrabble to Prove Himself Worthy. Although he proves his competence on occasion, he doesn't get anywhere near enough appreciation to fill that BLATANT gaping hole within him that's sooooo desperate to be seen and loved, and still obviously feels very precarious and paranoid in his position within the Decepticons.

But like. Megatron does protect him from Dreadwing. And I suspect Starscream reads a bit too much into that, believing that their Bad Times are behind them and he finally has Megatron's respect.

(Which. No. But from an abuse survivor's standpoint, clinging to scraps to paint a shinier picture of your relationship... hahaha relatable right????)

Anyway - then they reach the final battle.

Megatron fucking dies.

And Starscream is screaming and clawing and trying desperately to reach him - the monster who hurt him more than anyone else, who stood with him in the burning ruins of an Autobot base and smiled at him like he was proud! Starscream has to be physically carried away by an ally to stop him running to Megatron's corpse!

ONLY WHOOPS, SPOKE TO SOON.

MEGATRON IS REVIVED BY THE ROBOT DEVIL. After which he... basically treats Starscream like he's entirely inconsequential. They defeat the robot devil, and Megs gives some shitty speech about Losing His Taste For Tyranny - but hardly fucking looks at Starscream, the guy who was literally shaped by that tyranny, before jetting off to space to live Happily Ever After

Leaving Starscream. Fuming. Furious.

He flies off alone to continue the Decepticon legacy - because how could Megatron walk away after everything? After everything he's done to their species? To their world? To Starscream?

Only he's not as alone as he thought.

Starscream finds himself facing three vengeful Predacons, who he spent the earlier season treating like shit in a direct parallel of how Megatron treated him. And they tear him apart while he screams and sobs and begs to be spared. Just like he used to beg Megatron.

Sooooo yeahhhhh all of this has been living rent-free in my head since I was like, 13 lol

Friend:

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

You're at Hellfire Club with the worst period pains, the pains have been growing steadily worse all day. Eddie notices and does what he can to help you feel better.

Purely self indulgent because I've had bad pains for the last few days and this was highly therapeutic to write 💞💞

Warnings; none, just fluffy, sweet Eddie 🥺 💞

My requests are open 💞

💌🖤

You looked forward to Hellfire every week. Not okay because it was run by your boyfriend Eddie and it was the first Hellfire since all the shit from Spring Break.

In that time you and Eddie had grown really close and began dating, bonded together by being Upside Down survivors (for Eddie it was a close call) and already friends due to your involvement in Hellfire Club.

Now that Hellfire Club was back in session, Steve had generously offered to play host and Eddie excitedly spent a full week planning the campaign.

"I can't wait to show you what I have planned sweetheart" It's nice to see him so hyped up and you were looking forward to the campaign as much as he was.

Unfortunately, the morning of the campaign you woke up with a major headache, the kind of headache that hurt your eyes, bright lights were the devil and made your head pound even more. You groan at the pain in your stomach and ache that grows steadily worse and makes it impossible to go back to sleep.

Shit, you should have realised that your period was due today, for the last few days you had felt nauseated and that slow build-up of pain in your stomach signalled they were coming.

Despite feeling like shit you power through the day, go to work at Family Video, Eddie joins you on your break which coincides with his break at the auto repair shop he has started working in.

He's a godsend because if you had to listen to one more bratty kid or know it all cinephile you're sure your head might explode.

"You okay princess? You're quieter than usual" Eddie asks and you nod, cuddle into his arms and let the smell of cigarettes and cologne - Eddie's scent, calm you down. He soothingly rubs his hand up and down your back, and presses light kisses into your hair.

"Mmm, just tired. Looking forward to tonight though" the concerned look on Eddie's face turns into unbridled excitement as he teases and hints about the new campaign.

If Eddie knew how bad you were feeling then he might actually cancel tonight and you weren't having that. Hellfire had been anticipating this and Eddie was in his element, so you would just grin and bear it.

💌

Everything was set up and ready to go at Steve's, you were feeling worse than you were earlier. The headache from this morning was back with a vengeance and the cramps were in full swing, you ignore them as best as you can as Eddie begins the D&D session.

Just watching him in his element as DM is incredible, he's so talented at storytelling and has all the participants on the edge of their seats. Even Steve who had no interest in the game was hung on Eddie's every word.

This session was a long one and the cheers and shouts around you were making your headache even worse, it was hard to concentrate on the campaign even though you desperately wanted to.

You're so wrapped up in hiding your pain and trying to cling onto what's happening in the adventure that you don't notice Eddie's eyes stray to you on occasion, worry evident in his big brown eyes.

He's not stupid. He knows when something is wrong with his princess, you're not very talkative and have been clingy today, wanting more cuddles than usual (not that Eddie is complaining about that)

It's all telltale signs that you're upset or coming down with something. Eddie is sure he's done nothing to upset you (one tearful look or pout from you was Eddie's weakness) so it must be the latter option.

He's on the edge of ending the campaign early just so he can take you home and help you feel better, his worry helped by the fact that you keep trying to hide the fact that you're in pain. One hand is gripping the table and he sees the flash of agony on your features.

"The merry band of adventurers found themselves in a cave of wonder. But something evil was with them in this cave, ready to strike at the first opportunity" Eddie's voice deepens as he reaches the finale.

"Will the Wise was the first to sense the change in the air but before he could alert the others a screeching sound filled the cave... and that is the end of the campaign this week" Predictably he's met with the cries of the others.

"That's bullshit dude, utter bullshit" Dustin snaps and he shrugs. "More to look forward to next week Henderson" he ruffles Dustin's hair who grumbles under his breath but nods mulishly.

Eddie makes his way over to you and you give him a small smile, "That wasn't the end of the campaign Eddie" you sigh clearly seeing through his ruse.

"My girl is sick, don't think I haven't noticed you trying to pretend you're fine'' you open your mouth to argue but he's having none of it, "Yeah you are princess and I know that's not true. We're going home and you are going to rest" The fight goes out of you and you agree.

"Okay, I still feel bad about the campaign ending early" he waves off your concern. He cut it down by like five minutes tops and he's not having you feeling guilty about it.

"What's got you feeling so bad baby?" he narrowed his eyes trying to figure out if it was a cold or a stomach bug, was it your time of the month already? He counts the days and frowns when you confirm that it is.

"Bad cramps, headache" you mutter sleepily and he groans, he hates seeing you in pain, and knows your periods have been pretty bad for the last few months.

Luckily Eddie has supplies in his trailer for these occasions. sanitary products, a heated pad, painkillers, chocolate and your favourite movie. Everything to help make you feel better. He guides you to his van and vows to make you feel better.

❤️

It isn't even that long later that you're settled up in Eddie's bed with a heat pad on your stomach, he's made sure you took some pain meds and they've began to take effect.

Eddie's arms wrap around you and you nuzzle into his, his hands soothingly rubbing your stomach, between that at the pain meds you're feeling much better.

Just being in Eddie's arms, the cool metal of his rings was lovely and the light way he massaged your stomach was bliss.

He leaves only for a little while to make mac and cheese and even though you're not really hungry you eat it all and share your favourite chocolate with Eddie for afters.

The best thing about the night is when Eddie picks up his guitar and begins to play your favourite song, even though it's not heavy metal he still spent the time learning how to play it for you.

It begins to lull you to sleep and just as you're almost in a slumber Eddie presses gentle kisses to your hair.

"Sleep well my princess"

💞🖤💌

[wolven91]

Drought vs Flood

Cat calls.

Being called 'cute' or showered with compliments.

Paul had never really considered these an annoyance before. Hell, if he though back to his time on Earth, he couldn't remember the last time when he'd ever received a compliment from a stranger before.

No, that was a lie he realised.

Many years before, an older lady once stopped him to compliment him on a jovial Christmas jumper he'd worn. She said she liked it and that he was handsome in it too. He vividly remembered having a great day that day, despite having to deal with a queue of irate customers throughout the afternoon.

That compliment had kept the man sated for years!

As a man, Paul had never really understood the frustrations of women when they bemoaned the fact that they received compliments and manners from random strangers every day. The man would always hasten to add that he understood them from a logical point of view, but there was always a part of him that had wanted a taste of that life for a while.

Sure, maybe getting them every day might have gotten old, but after over a decade of surviving off one compliment? The man didn't *understand* the frustration. The isolation had to be worse right?

That was until the Earth was destroyed and Paul ended up like a few of his fellow humans, lost amongst the stars as a human, alone in the void.

At first, Paul thrived. He'd lived alone for seven years and with his friends moving away, getting families, or just losing touch; there had been times in his life where he'd gone whole weeks without saying a single word out loud.

After that initial period of learning the ropes, figuring out where he could get a job, food, even the stuff that wasn't quite 'legal' like a drink, Paul settled into what he expected would be a quiet life.

Only, every time he spent time out in public, like when he went to sit in the tiny bar that would serve him under the counter, it wasn't that quiet.

"I just love your fur; can I touch it?" Asked the bull-like alien as they had already begun reaching out and touching thick leather pads to the crop of hair atop Paul's head. The man shoved the alien's wrist away from him.

"No, thank you." He grunted, still hunched at the bar, uncomfortable about the two aliens that stood either side of him. Both were, alien, they had the heads of bulls but bodies that he would have given his left arm for back home. But regardless of their physical attraction, this was week three of not being able to have a single moment's peace outside of his own quarters.

"Oh come on, I read you love it when someone pets you?" Smarmed the second, quoting some bullshit, pardon the pun, text that Paul himself had read. Apparently, a few of the survivors had let slip that they were touch starved, so now every alien and their mother was quoting this as if gospel.

If Paul ever got his hands on the moron that uttered those...

"Not all humans are the same." He growled back, gripping his drink.

"Well, what if I showed you a gun? You like guns, right?" Offered the first taurian, briefly turning their hip and displaying a holster.

"I repeat, not all humans are the same." Paul was British, he thought guns were a tool and nothing more. No more exciting than a pen or a pair of expensive scissors. More than a handful of Americans made it out and had made a huge scene when they found out guns were illegal to humans. Yet more misinformation chumming the water.

"Aww come on, we're just being friendly. It's okay! I also read that your society said you had to be prudes; it's not true, you can relax." The alien explained as if she wasn't taking a big dump on the entire human civilisation and its history.

Paul sneered at the fact that he mildly agreed. The odd concepts that were considered fact back home were outright frowned on up here. With all the fur and lack of breasts on those without; clothes were almost optional by those not actively working. Granted Paul wasn't a nudist and didn't have the body to want to flaunt it, but it was a breath of fresh air to not be so gummed down with social rules.

"I was relaxed," Paul sniped, but the jab went well over the two female taurian's horns. "I just want a quiet drink." He reiterated, breathing deep and remaining calm. The sluggat barkeep watched him carefully, his eye stalks watching the taurians and the human independently. He was hanging around by the bar's emergency distress button.

"We can drink with you." Offered one of them, Paul didn't even bother looking now, instead attempting to drill a hole in the opposite wall with his eyes.

"I don't want company." He explained clearly.

"Why not?" They prodded.

"Because I said so."

"That ain't a real answer, just let us-"

"Can you actually fuck off?!" Paul snapped, turning his body to the last one to speak. "I don't want company, I don't want a drink from you, I want to be left alone!"

"Alright, fuck us, right? We were being nice and now you're acting like we're attacking you. We're the nice ones, but I guess you'll only learn that when you meet the other kind."

Paul just rolled his eyes as the pair stepped away from the bar and, as one walked past, clipped the leg of the stool Paul was sat on, jangling his already on edge nerves.

They grunted something as they passed that the translators flagged as an insult.

Paul rubbed a hand over his face as he sighed and tried to relax. The sluggat slithered over and asked if he was all right.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine." The man replied absently, using a thumb to wick the moisture off the side of his glass.

A drought, versus a flood.

That was how Paul now considered the perspective from before. How he would explain the difference of perspectives to a younger self.

How could the drowning woman understand the dying man in the desert?

It was great to be the centre of attention for a week or two, but the way they got handsy? If he didn't actively stop them, and make it clear he wasn't 'playing hard to get' that they'd start groping him?  The way they didn't give him space or even listen when he said 'no'?

Even when they were weird... and smelt bad... Not all the creatures up here were attractive.

"Fuck." The man drew the word out with a breath he only realised was shaking as his voice shuddered. With a guilty grimace, the man reached into his pocket and retrieved the data slate. He scrolled through the minimal contacts and selected his guardian.

It rang once before being answered by a near frantic voice that was obviously being kept neutral.

"Paul?"

"Hey Shu'ba. I fucked up... Can you... Can you come get me please?" The man asked humbly.

"Is everything alright?!"

"It's fine, nothing's happened, but I'd feel safer if you were near."

"I got your location, I'm two minutes away."

"Thanks, Shu'ba."

"Don't think anything of it."

"I'm sorry."

The voice of the ssypno sighed through the speaker.

"I get it's hard to have a babysitter, but we're here for a reason. It's okay, I'm almost there."

Paul stayed on the line, even though he and the sluggat were the only patrons of the bar, but when the neon green scales of his guardian slithered into the room, a wave of relief washed over him.

Perhaps it was time to stop giving the serpent the slip?

[r/WolvensStories]

[Ko-Fi]

[myladysapphire]

Masterlist

To be added to taglist

Currently working on | Brat (jace x aunt!reader), His (Jace x Twin!reader), kindred spirits (jace x aunt!reader), His sapphire princess XII, My lady Strong X,

Recent posts | To Gwayne, with love (Gwayne x niece!reader), Bittersweet (Gwayne x Rhaenyras!daughter), Forbidden (benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!Reader), Duty part 2, The Dragon and the Wolf Epilouge, two havles of a whole (Aemond x Twin!reader)

House of the Dragon

Aemond Targeryen

His sapphire princess (slow updates )

After the night in the brothel Rhaenyra finds her self with child, A girl who will forever change the history of westeros

My lady strong (slow updates )

The second born, A bastard, a dreamer with fire in her veins, and a girl forced into the dance of dragons

two halves of a whole - one shot

Aemond had always understood you in ways others could not, your bond so deep nothing could severe it. A bond so deep that they would do anything to save the other, even if it meant being trapped with the enemy.

Aegon Targaryen II

The spoils of war - one shot

Being a woman on the loosing side of a war was never a good thing. And when you are the only daughter of the looser it can mean one of two things, either death or marriage, and for lucky for y/n, Aegon was in need of a wife.

Agape - one shot

Agape love is defined as being unconcerned with the self and concerned with the greatest good of another. Agape love isn't born just out of emotions, feelings, familiarity, or attraction but from the will and as a choice. Agape requires faithfulness, commitment, and sacrifice without expecting anything in return.

Jacaerys Veleryon

Solace - one shot

As the daughter of Alicent Hightower you had been fed stories of your older sister and her children, so when you are bethrothed to Jacaerys you arent too sure as to what to expect, and go into your courtship expecting the worse, only to find out you couldn't have been more wrong.

Why don’t i show you - one shot

when you come to westeros to arrange your sisters marriage in an alliance with westeros you find there customs to be anything but acceptable and start to question the need for an alliance, it takes jace to show you why an alliance is needed.

you belong with me - one shot

you and jace were childhood friends, you never left eachothers side growing up, but that all changed once you both went off to university.

seduction - one shot

you had always longed to be queen but with your brother Aegon married to your twin sister you had lost hope, but upon your nephews return to the keep you realise all hope of being queen isn't lost. there was just one problem: your mother would never agree to marriage between you and Jace. So you set in motion a plan of seduction.

red - one shot

you are a priestess of R'hollor, sent to dragonstone to assure the bloodline of the prince who was promised. And though you are welcomed by the queen, prince Jacaerys only looks at you with trempidation, seeing your place at his mothers side to be some ploy. But luckily for you there is always a way for the red priesstes to sawy others to their cause.

brat - one shot, coming soon

kindred spirits - one shot, coming soon

his - one shot, coming soon

Heleana Targaryen

Butterfly Kisses - one shot

Heleana has always had a special bond with her maid.

Cregan Stark

The Dragon and the Wolf (complete)

You had been betrothed to Cregan stark at the start of the war. He was the noble and honourable stark that he was he supported your mother claim without restraint. So much so your mother saw it fit to betroth the two of you. So when disaster strikes and you and your younger brother are the only two survivors, you a shipped of north in your grief, leaving only Cregan to heal your wounds.

Gwayne Hightower

High Infidelity - one shot

scorned and betrayed by your husband, you find solace in the arms of his uncle.

To Gwayne, with love - one shot

tired of being ingored and undervalued, you take your dragon and leave to find the one person who sees you for who you really are; your uncle, Gwayne Hightower.

Bittersweet- one shot

married to Gwayne Hightower in some deludied attempt to resolve tensions between your family, when his loyalty is made clear you flee to your mother, feeling only bittersweet as you think of your husband.

Benjicot Blackwood (fan!cast)

forbidden - one shot

With a feud older than history, the Blackwoods and Brackens have long been enemies, but now, you, a daughter of lord Bracken, finds yourself in the arms of Benjicot Blackwood, and he will do everyhting it takes to make you his.

Game Of Thrones

Robb stark

duty | part one, part two

Robb Stark had kept his oath to house Frey and married you as a result allowing him to win the north’s independence however he now has to live with the sacrifices of duty and must find out if duty is truly the death of love.

jon snow

duty | part one, part two

married near six years, you learn that duty is truly the death of love, and yet when Robbs brother, jon, returns to winterfell, you find that perhpas you where wrong, perhaps love is the death of duty.

viserys targaryen

coming soon

[ayashitetsuko]

An open letter to David Jenkins

Some fans believe that we should not vent our anger and frustration to show creators. I don’t believe that. The thing about being a professional is that receiving criticism is part of your job—especially if you have done a terrible job.

OFMD went from groundbreaking to disappointing overnight.

There was a momentum to create a queer media that is smart, fun, sexy, and most importantly, respectful. In the way they are writing these queer characters. Especially older and disabled queer characters, a reflection of a generation of marginalised communities that have gone through so much. To give audience a glimpse of hope in their escapism.

But sir, you choose to Remus Lupin him instead.

This is not just about killing off a character. Hell, I might be willing to accept it. After all, I have read and even written fics with MCD in it—involving my favourite character.

But I want you to know that this is a special case. It is not just another popular character being killed off to drive plots.

I have issue with how you kill off a queer character that represents many marginalised communities in his arc.

Izzy is an abuse survivor who becomes disabled as a result of it. Izzy is a queer elder. Izzy is suicidal but manages to overcome it with the healing power of love and community.

Having him killed off just like that is a huge slap for fans who have gone through what he has gone through. Turns out, even in fiction, in our escapism, there is no joy. Only despair.

Also. Father figure? Where does that come from? Ed has never been shown to have any level of respect for Izzy. So let me ask you again. Where does “father figure” come from?

You have an opportunity to make a difference with OFMD; to be remembered in history for the right reasons. Yet somehow you choose not too. You choose to turn this into cheap, sensationalist entertainment where death and torture are thrown around for shock value.

It is like you have no idea how much power you have by being a professional storyteller.

Let me break it down to you. For you as a writer, perhaps killing off Izzy is nothing but an artistic choice. A plot point to figure out. But for audiences in marginalised groups, stories are mirrors. They see themselves in stories. That is how stories give them hope. This is why OFMD has never been “just a pirate story”. Perhaps this is hard to understand if you have never been part of an underrepresented community in the mainstream media, but this is how many are feeling about your work now. Your legacy.

OFMD has truly become an overnight failure. I don’t know how this happened. I would like to blame budget cuts, but your Vanity Fair interview makes me realise this is all deliberate choice.

So, what is next for us Canyonites?

If anything, this convinced me that queer and disabled people should write. And continue to write.

We can no longer trust major media to speak for us. We definitely can never trust David Jenkins again. Any form of progressiveness that he showed earlier was just coincidence, apparently. Even worse, it was fake.

As my friend Sam beautifully puts it, Izzy belongs to us now. We reclaim that character and give him all the happy endings he deserves in our fic, our art. We transform the works. We write about queer, disabled, suicidal characters the way the deserve to be written. If being a published writer is the path you choose, make sure you make wiser decisions than David Jenkins.

Thank you, sir. It was good while it lasts.

But this is a terrible job that you’re doing.

[talaricula]

I'm seeing lots of speculation in the wake of the unwanted guest about whether absorbing Loveday's soul is what made Cytherea snap and sure, I see the theory, but personally as a cancer survivor I have never ever questioned why Cytherea snapped

Cancer is an existentially terrifying, often debilitatingly painful and/or exhausting illness, that, if not cured, takes over your body bit by bit, gets into the highly essential bits which increases the suffering and/or fundamentally changes you as a person, makes you extremely vulnerable and dependent on others, and almost inevitably kills you unless you get it when you're old enough and die of old age first instead. Its treatment is often just as painful and exhausting as the illness, or even more so, and doesn't always work. When you have cancer, there are two ways out: being cured (preferable) or, when that is not an option, deciding for yourself when you have reached the point where the suffering is so bad and the outlook so non existent that you would rather die now rather than later after even more and worse suffering.

And John took both of those options away from Cytherea and from her entire line of descendants. When he had the option to cure them all all along. Idk about y'all but the revelation in Nona that John could cure cancer was the number one earth shattering realisation for me. He did this to her, and to the entire Seventh House, on purpose.

This is the first giant betrayal to me. For generation after generation, for TEN THOUSAND YEARS, this man let the heirs of the Seventh House be sick for functionally their entire lives, likely starting in childhood, go through an incalculable amount of painful and exhausting experimental treatments bc he didn't even bring modern medicine into his New Order, and die in their twenties or thirties at best, when he could have STOPPED THIS ALL ALONG with little more effort than snapping his fingers.

Second big betrayal is towards Cytherea herself, but basically the same point : he could have cured her at any time. Before she became Lyctor, possibly, since we're not sure how static Lyctor bodies are, but Mercy's powers, Harrow's lobotomy and Ianthe's arm suggest that it would have been an option afterwards too. And he didn't. He let her have cancer for TEN THOUSAND years without curing her. And he calls himself her friend. Absolutely fuck that bastard.

Third big betrayal is the same betrayal that he inflicts on all the other Lyctors, but imo worse bc of Cytherea's illness. It seems from the books that Lyctors are, if obv not functionally immortal, at least Very Difficult to kill. Consequently, John demands Cytherea's loyalty not only in the form of killing the person she loves the most in the world, but in the very same act, in the form of cutting off the One escape route she has left out of the suffering he's purposefully keeping her in. In short, he takes the one person away from her who she perhaps doesn't resent depending on and, in the same act, makes it A Lot more difficult for her to choose euthanasia. (There's meta in this about the deeply realistic and also Terrifying ableism of John "admits openly that he'll pay any price so the people he loves can't leave him" making his sick friend dependent on him by keeping her sick, taking away her (arguable) main caretaker and cutting her off from the option of leaving him by dying.)

And at the same time that the other Lyctors realise John's betrayal re: their cavaliers, Cytherea potentially realises ALL OF THIS. TEN THOUSAND years of suffering, of seeing her House suffer, on top of losing the person she cares about the most, and ALL OF IT was avoidable, and not just avoidable but EASY TO AVOID? Is it any wonder she went on a rampage to bring down John and everything he cared about and had worked towards, and that she didn't care about dying at the end (or, perhaps, was even counting on that outcome)? I had cancer (as an aware adult) for a year in the best imaginable circumstances and am still fucked up about almost a decade later. After TEN THOUSAND YEARS and learning there had been another option all along, I'd have done WAY WORSE than Cytherea. I really don't think she needed to absorb anyone's soul to get there. It is, in my opinion, a deeply understandable and realistic reaction.

[thedroloisms]

I think what's worse about people doing it to Dream is he's very reluctant to call attention to it himself so people do it for him and it's not just with abuse. They'll do it about him being queer or about having rsd and people need to realise if he wanted to use those things as excuses but he doesn't. Like it's okay to recognise the influence those things have on a person but you can't reduce an issue down to a single factor and remove all the nuance.

i mean yeah he "doesn't use it as an excuse" because 1) he'd be crucified even harder than he already is 2) people already make things up in their head abt him using it as an excuse when he doesn't (like claiming he uses his RSD to get out of things, which was particularly hilarious back in 2021 or whatever when it seemed debatable if he even knew what RSD is) (like this is the same guy who like, during every drodcast around that time, would like list off textbook adhd symptoms and then be like 'yeah idk why i do that tho') but ... that's. like.

like the point i was making isn't just "we shouldn't make excuses using his abuse/queerness/neurodivergence because he doesn't do it" -- in situations where a conversation revolving around smth like queerness or victim advocacy or neurodivergence is relevant, then i don't think these topics should be barred from conversation? as an example, people used to get on people's cases all the time about mcc 14 and how you shouldn't talk about neurodivergence in relation to it while dream was like. clearly and obviously overwhelmed and out of it literally almost until the end of the conversation because of the buildmart rework. just because dream wasn't going "wow, this was an overstimulating environment that clashed terribly with my adhd" out loud on stream doesn't mean people couldn't independently hold conversations about how the game was kind of designed to be stimulation hell, with or without relating that conversation to dream.

obviously people should have more tact when they talk abt abuse specifically, re: dream. i just...don't think that throwing his situation into his face (especially as a weapon to use against other people) is in any way appropriate. people can, have, and will use his experiences against him.

but back to my main point, it's less about "not using these things as excuses because he doesn't" and more about "not using these things as excuses when they're not excuses." like. while i understand that being a survivor, being queer, being nd affects literally everything you do...as you said, there's a difference between understanding the impact something like past abuse can have on your feelings and actions and concluding that your actions and feelings are valid because of your abuse.

like. just as an example. if a DV victim acts erratically while details of their specific situation are being dredged up and said person does things out of character for themselves like shutting down their accounts on social media and refusing to acknowledge an important situation Immediately, even if they themselves don't bring up the specifics of their situation, i think it's fair to say "hey yall are lacking any empathy whatsoever to a survivor of DV who is a victim in this current situation, grow up and piss off."

on the flip side, if someone who's been through abuse is harassing people online and doing things like campaigning for them to lose their platforms and refusing to give any information as to why they believe this is necessary or provide any proof outside of "just trust me, they're bad bro" and cries that they're trying to do the right thing because they're an abuse victim...being an abuse victim does not excuse your current behaviors, many of which are enabling and/or encouraging abusive actions and telling people (such as abusers!) that your corner of the internet is a safe place for them to make baseless accusations (including towards their victims) as long as it's towards someone you don't like. which is, you know, fucked up and kinda abusive. i sympathize with the trauma that these people have been through, but bringing up your victimhood is not immediately relevant to the current situation and also doesn't excuse abusive actions.

i hope that made sense?

[sempersirens]

sun bleached flies | four

masterlist

chapter summary: joel seeks to make amends the only way joel knows how: messily

warnings: 18+, mdni. previous dark!joel/raider!joel. mention of ptsd, nightmares, some sexist/misogynistic comments, lotsa swearing, nihilism, alcohol & bad decisions.

a/n: hello! as you may know, i paused this series for a little while after receiving some comments about the content of this story. i was quite upset and reactive upon first seeing the comments and instantly pulled the series in order to give myself some time to consider whether i wanted to carry on. but, as is obvious, i really do not care anymore. i put detailed warnings before each chapter so everyone knows what they're getting into. if this isn't for you, that's okay! don't read! alas. thank you SO much to all of you who continue to read my silly little stories and send me such kind messages, reblog, and like. i love and cherish you ALL. this chapter is very much giving "it's the drama, mick. i love it.”

Joel's POV

In the movies about the end of the world, humanity always seemed so vulnerable. Not so much in the way that people would be literally picked off one by one by hordes of undead, but there was always the feeling that it took the end of the world for the human race to finally become their true selves. As if the worst of times brought out the best of people.

Joel had hated that trope. Whenever he, Tommy and Sarah picked out a zombie movie at Blockbuster on a Friday night they opted for the most gory, gruesome option on the shelf. They would simultaneously roll their eyes at any cheesy line snuck into the dialogue mid-fight scene - apart from Tommy, who would wipe his bleary eyes with the back of his sleeve in the hope that nobody had seen.

Sat amidst that gathering of lost survivors, each searching for some semblance of safety in the dire form of group therapy, Joel had perhaps for the first time in his life seen true, raw emotion reflecting in your eyes. You had always seemed so composed during your brief but sharp run-ins with one another, but this evening was different.

He'd watched your cheeks turn pink when the idiot stood at the front of the group prompted you to share your story. The way you unravelled speaking about Mia, it was as if your facade had shifted ever so slightly - perhaps even accidentally - because as soon as you realised your mask was slipping, you snatched it straight back and regained composure. Like she was your Achilles heel, the only thing in this world that could bring your walls tumbling down.

Joel had tried to follow you after the session to get you alone to talk about - he didn't even know what. He just knew was the right thing to do, and he had made a promise to himself to start following that gut feeling for once. But he had been trapped by his row of slow-moving attendees with little sense of urgency and menial small talk, and you were long gone by the time he had escaped the barricades of plastic chairs.

You'd had a child, his child. A child he had no right to see, and wasn't even sure if he wanted to see. How could he look her in the eye knowing the reason she had been brought into this world, knowing he had even let such a thing happen, to bring something so small and innocent into such a plagued existence?

A lot of things kept Joel up at night; too many things to count. The fire of bullets before feeling the limpness of Sarah's body in his arms. The mocking song of defeat, noise constantly muffled in his eardrums that reminded him of that damn flinch. Ellie's small body collapsing into his still-weak chest, fresh blood coating her pale skin. The smell of the burning building in their wake.

It was worse when the dreams reminded him of his own cruelty. Settlements raided and burned to the ground. Blades pressed through temples in the dead of night.

And then there was you.

He had stumbled upon you at the peak of his inhumanity. He wanted to blame it on being around the other raiders for so long, that the things he had only ever been a bystander for had finally seeped into his skin and corrupted him. He wished he could reject all of the shame and responsibility as an unconscious action of muscle memory.

When he saw you standing in your kitchen passing his brother a bottle of beer like it was the most mundane action, he thought his subconscious was punishing him again; like his first day in Jackson, when he'd dared to drop his shoulders ever so slightly at the sight of a woman he let himself believe to be Sarah. For that second all logic evaded him, all he could think was that his little girl was alive and well right before him. As if it had all been a bad dream and she would turn to face him like it had only been an hour at most since they'd been apart.

It took just as much time for his brain to remind him he was really seeing you and not another one of his nightmares. Despite the briefness of your encounter all those years ago, he would've known you anywhere. Even if he'd wanted to forget you, his brain wouldn't let him.

You had every right to despise him, to out him to his brother and the entirety of Jackson. Not only had he taken advantage of your vulnerability, he'd failed at the one measly promise he had made you in exchange.

His biggest regret manifested as a Bambi-eyed little girl staring up at him as if he were a stranger. Which in truth, he was.

It was still early when Joel returned home to an empty house. Ellie was staying the night at a friend's, Dina, or something. Tommy and Maria had reassured him that she was a good kid and it would do Ellie some good making friends if they planned on staying in Jackson for the foreseeable future.

So, he retired to bed and tried to disappear underneath the thin duvet in the hope of dreamless sleep.

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, your feeble voice from earlier ricocheting through his ears, he admitted defeat.

One thing Joel appreciated about Jackson was the lenient opening hours of the Tipsy Bison. Something he didn't appreciate, however, was how the entirety of Jackson's male population seemed to think the same thing.

"Joel," Tommy called across the room as Joel entered the bar.

For god's sake, Joel muttered under his breath, all hope of a peaceful glass of whiskey dissipating at the sight of his little brother waving him over.

"What you doin' here so late?" Tommy questioned, trying to decipher whether Joel had seen through his suggestion of attending the support group.

"Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd make good of this... fine establishment." Joel replied as Tommy signalled to the bartender for two more of whatever he had already been drinking.

Two men Joel hadn't met yet were seated on either side of Tommy, and he didn't care to be introduced to them either.

"You go to that meetin' I told you about?" Tommy was never good at being discreet, making the situation sound more like Joel was eliciting some kind of drug run rather than going to a damn trauma support group.

"I did," the bartender placed a glass of whiskey on the table in front of Joel. "Saw your girl there."

"Oh yeah, she goes every week. How was she?" Tommy's face lit up at the mention of you.

"S'fine. Don't think she likes me very much."

Joel took a swig of his drink as one of the other men chirped up, questioning whether the topic of conversation was about you.

"She's my patrol partner sometimes. Doesn't like anybody very much, don't take it to heart."

"That so?" Joel mused, twirling the glass around in his fingers.

"Spends most of her time with her kid, and if not her, then she's with our Tommy and his Maria. Reckon they're all that's good enough for her in this town."

"Now, don't put yourself down like that, Keith. She's just a private gal, that's all." Tommy reassured the man to his left, earning a raised eyebrow in response.

"Hopefully not that private, I'm takin' her for a drink tomorrow night." Now the man on Tommy's right spoke up.

Joel felt his grip tighten around the glass, his eyes narrowing on the tall but weak-looking man sitting across from him.

"Well I'll be damned," Tommy laughed. "Y'finally wore her down, huh?"

"Other way round, really. I gave into her asking and asking."

"Now, now, Greg. She's a good girl, you better look after her."

"Yeah, really look after her, Greg. Be doin' us all a favour, might put a smile on her face for once." Keith added.

"C'mon now, boys. She's like a sister to me, don't be talkin' about her like that." Tommy grimaced slightly, which soon turned to a snort. He always did lose his backbone after a couple of drinks.

"Like any of you would say that to her face." Joel scoffed, taking a sip of his drink to stop him for saying anymore.

God knows why, but Joel felt defensive over you. Listening to the way Tommy was allowing his friends to speak on you made his blood boil. He could hear thumping in his eardrums, waving his hand in the general direction of the bartender for another glass of whiskey.

"They're just playing, Joel. She can be kinda icy to say the least."

"Yeah, why d'you think that is, Tommy? She's got a damn kid to look after, all on her own."

"I didn't realise you knew her so well." Greg retorted, his face looking more and more punchable by the second.

"I didn't know you were keepin' tabs on my life, who I know and who I don't." Joel spat back with a little too much vim in his voice.

The bartender replaced Joel's empty glass with a filled one, which he knocked back without a second thought before rising in his seat and slamming the glass back on the table.

He turned to leave, feeling the warmth of the alcohol settling in his chest.

"The hell was that all about?" Tommy had followed him outside.

"What?" Joel barked in response, turning to face his brother.

"In there, you gettin' all wound up over nothin'."

"Nothing? You said that girl's like your sister, yet you let them speak on her like that?"

"Oh c'mon, Joel. They're idiots I know, but they're harmless. What's it to you, anyhow?"

"I just thought you were better than that, Tommy."

"You're being crazy. Go home, Joel."

"Where d'you think I'm fuckin' going?"

He waved Tommy away, turning to walk back to his place. However, he didn't want to go home yet. He let his feet take him in the direction of your house, instead.

It wasn't too late, but he still knocked lightly on the front door so as to not wake Mia. He heard some shuffling from inside before the door creaked open.

"Jesus Christ." You breathed.

"Not quite."

"What the fuck do you want, Joel? Why do you keep showing up here?" You demanded, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door softly behind you.

"You know why, we have shit to talk about."

You scoffed and pushed your shoulders back, the smell of alcohol from Joel's breath making the thought process for his surprise visit clear.

"We have nothing to talk about. You. Are. Not. Welcome. Here."

"They were all in the Bison, just know, those pricks from patrol. Greg or whatever, talkin' shit about you. I couldn't stand it."

"Oh, please. What do you want me to do? Get on my knees and thank you for defending my honour?"

"No- not at all. Just don't want you wastin' your time with them when they don't respect you."

"And you do? Respect me?"

Joel couldn't find the words to respond. Everything came flooding over him at once.

"Please, I- I wanna see her."

He surprised even himself at the words that left his mouth, however, you didn't seem surprised. Your eyes narrowed while his widened, watching you take a step toward him, closing the gap between you both.

“Joel, I don’t think you understood at all. Why would I want you near her, when you’re the exact kind of man I'm trying to protect her from?”

taglist: apparently my tags don't always work so fingers crossed these come thru? sorry if i forgot anybody - if you want to be added/removed please lmk! @warm-tea-and-otp @mrsquill @ashleymsnodgrass @bluetattoos @mabermaple @hiroikegawa @casssiopeia @joeldjarin @southernbe @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @cool-iguana @drewharrisonwriter @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @randomhoex @ilovepedro @koshkaj-blog @ejuliet999 @love-the-abyss @jellybeanxc @mabermaple @radsanchez @powellssaturn @ok-boke @phoebe13 @ahintofkiwistrawberry @smexy-bucky-waifu @withasideofmeg @darkroastjoel @willowsvalley @forestfaeriequeen @radsanchez @moonlightdivine @noisynightmarepoetry @mysingularitybts @misshoneypaper @ezzynf @spideyyhoe @runningmom94 @disassociation-daydreams @serendipity22086 @lionlena @shotgun-shelby @daddy-din @dins-riduur-anthe @phoebe13 @bageldaddy

[iaure]

𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁; 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗱

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟthe dearest collection - part one/beloved 𓆩♡𓆪 part two/prized 𓆩♡𓆪 part three/devoted 𓆩♡𓆪 part four/desperate 𓆩♡𓆪 part five/blind 𓆩♡𓆪 part six/watcher 𓆩♡𓆪 part seven/ardor 𓆩♡𓆪 part eight/fervor this is very heavily inspired by @//clusterfuck-yandere's yandere leon headcanons; please check out their works. this is something of a love letter to their puppy obsession series.

yandere leon s. kennedy headcanons; reader is a survivor of raccoon city.

tw: general yandere behaviour, stalking, harassment, ptsd, mentions of mourning

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ aaa i am so tired! i am sorry about the delay ૮꒰⸝⸝> ༝ <⸝⸝꒱ა work has been rough but i am tougher! there is another part planned already of which i am more excited about; it is another Leon pov!! next time he will have perversions...it will be somewhat nsfw! i am very excited about part four ☆૮꒰•༝ •。꒱ა please keep an eye out! ♡

you'd been doing better.

♡ the days began to blur by as you repaired your life. work got easier, you started making friends, and you were picking up the pieces.

♡ your new friend Leon was, as always, a constant ray of light in your life. you had progressed into a blooming friendship!

♡ he was always so sweet, even going so far as to bring you gifts.

♡ for your birthday, he even got you a video game you had mentioned wanting off hand; a AAA game that cost 70$. not a cheap price for someone who you met at a bakery.

♡ when he gave it to you, you tried tell him it was too much-but he insisted, saying it was your birthday and that you deserved it.

♡ the thought made your heart jump, but you took the game.

♡ your coworker jokes that he's got a crush on you, and slowly, you're starting believe it.

♡ you'd seen times where you were working in the back, and leon would come in. he'd look around, realise you weren't in sight, and his mood would visibly plummet upon not seeing you.

♡ according to your coworker, he'll even straight up turn around and leave if you aren't working that day.

♡ as weird as it is, you think it's cute.

but recently, you've been having troubles.

♡ your apartment was maybe a five minute walk from your work, truthfully. you often just made the trek to save gas and get some exercise in.

♡ but you've been feeling eyes on you lately.

♡ it's a nagging feeling, and while it's only a five minute walk, you're back into that quiet terror you had back when K was in your life.

♡ you've been checking over your shoulder, hiding pepper spray in your pockets, and staying as alert as possible.

home was just as unnerving.

♡ before, the mourning had left your apartment as a bit of a mess. it was normal and fine, but now that you had work, you found yourself realising just how bad it had gotten.

♡ you made yourself a list of things to do, to chip away at and celebrate each time something was done.

♡ but in the last week or two, that list has been checking itself off.

♡ parts of your apartment has been cleaner. the sink full of dishes washed themselves. your bathroom was wiped down. your bed was made, pillows fluffed and sheets taut. laundry, for the most part, was transferred from washer to drier while you were gone.

♡ 'for the most part' was because some garments were going missing; used towels, your favourite shirt, undergarments.

♡ they turn up again, but it's always some time later and with new stains or portions torn away.

♡ needless to say, you were freaked out.

♡ you had sent a request to get your lock changed to your super, but it was taking just too long.

♡ your paranoia skyrocketed. was it K? was it possible there was a gas leak and you were having memory loss? what was the most reasonable thing that could answer this?

♡ your mind is reeling, and it's been progressively getting worse until one night at work.

♡ you were closing up, and leon was there, keeping you company. was he supposed to be there after close? perhaps not, but he was your friend and he never did anything wrong; just watched you clean up with his head in his hands and a sappy smile.

♡ you had looked out into the windows, and the darkness outside was...so much. it was raining hard, and the night was absolute. anything could happen in a five minute walk. what if K was out there?

♡ you had paused, and leon saw. his voice was soft, kind, as he walked up and held your hand. "is something wrong?", he said.

♡ you told him only a bit about what was going on, the bare minimum so he knew that you didn't feel safe.

♡ his face contorted-shock, fear, worry-but he kept on listening, and he looked so sympathetic to your plight, almost like a kicked puppy.

♡ you then have a great idea. Leon was strong and brave. could he possibly walk you home?

♡ at your asking, Leon lights up. were he a dog, his tail would be wagging.

♡ "I'll be your knight in shining armour," he says. and you believe it.

♡ when you close the shop, he's right behind you, carrying his gym bag in one arm and your umbrella in the other. he takes care to cover you with it, but it's not until you turn that you realise he's already drenched.

♡ he waves it off, joking that it's a shower.

♡ you feel bad, but when you try to insist on sharing it, he tosses you a pout that breaks your heart. damn you, heartthrob!

♡ he keeps on looking around during the walk to your apartment, as though you're about to get jumped at any moment. as strange as it seemed, you appreciated how vigilant he was.

♡ for once, you felt safe. there were no eyes on you besides Leon's careful, kind gaze. this was the most comforted you'd been in...a while.

♡ when you get to your apartment, the rain had doubled down, forcing the two of you to ditch the umbrella and run under the roof of the first floor, laughing as Leon shook the rain off like a dog.

♡ when you finally get to your apartment, your joy dissolves into fear. your stomach churns at the idea that K might be inside, trying to wait out Leon.

♡ you turn to Leon, and before you find it in you to say good night, you look him over.

♡ he looks a little bit like a puppy left out in the rain, in a cardboard box. he's happy to see you, sad that you're leaving, drenched, and giving you big, sad eyes.

let's be honest.

♡ were you going to say good night, giving Leon no reward for his kind act and potentially walking right into your potential stalker's arms?

♡ or were you going to invite him in, getting Leon some food and thanking him as well as hypothetically warding off K?

♡ when you asked him to come in, he practically did a jig. was he really that excited to see the inside of your apartment?

♡ he's a polite guest, which isn't surprising. he took off his shoes, set his bag by the door, and tried to dry off the best he could before sitting on your couch.

♡ you began digging around, trying to see what you had that would be moderately okay for a guest to eat, silently grateful that your home had been cleaning itself up.

♡ you turn every now and then to speak with Leon, and each time, he moves a step closer to you, giving you the most devoted look.

♡ it makes your heart pound, but you can't let it distract you.

♡ you finally give up, electing to order a pizza of Leon's choice, which ends up being your choice when he tells you to order your favourite.

♡ "I wanna know more about you!", he says.

♡ you pay for it, since he helped you, but he tries to help pay. when you refuse, he makes a small noise of what was presumably discontent, but he lets it go.

♡ while you're waiting for the pizza, you begin to confess your concerns with your home, about the cleaning and how items seem to be shuffling about of their own will.

♡ Leon's first guess, much like yours, was a gas leak. but he agrees, after a moment, that you should change your locks anyway.

♡ the conversation changed direction multiple times, going with the flow. Leon was a great listener, and every time you list something you like or hate, you can see him filing it away in his head.

♡ the rain gets harder, and the night gets longer.

♡ the pizza was delivered, and you two begin eating when-unceremoniously and without warning-the power went out. you could see off in the distance it wasn't just your apartment complex; it was a sizable chunk of the block you were on.

♡ there was a beat of silence between the two of you as you realised what happened.

♡ you got up to light some candles as Leon ran over to the door, fishing out a flashlight he had on him, for whatever reason.

♡ he passed it off to you, with a small frown. "I guess that's my cue to go," he said. his voice was low, upset at having your time together cut short. he was still a little wet, and it just made him look...a bit pathetic, to be honest.

♡ as you began to ask him if he was going to be okay in the rain, he mentioned that he lived thirty minutes from his gym, which was ten minutes from the bakery, which was five minutes from your apartment...

♡ which meant a miserable fifteen minutes spent in the rain and another 30 spent being cold and wet in the car.

no, you insisted-he could stay the night, if he wanted to wait out the rain.

♡ over the course of the night, you've come to realise a handful of things. one, Leon was sweet. two, he also got excited over what seemed to be the littlest things.

♡ his jaw dropped when you offered him to stay, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. it was as though you'd fulfilled his biggest wish and had ultimately become his saviour.

♡ you gave him some clothes to change into that once belonged to your brother-it's not like he'd wear them anymore-and instructed him to the bathroom.

♡ he found it in record time as you yourself got changed, ready to go to bed and wait out the power outage.

♡ when he stepped out, he had evidently dried down his hair with a towel that had been hanging in your bathroom, and looked at you with big eyes. he had also evidently decided to sleep on the couch, using a blanket from his bag (which you've decided to call his wonderbag, considering everything he pulls from it).

♡ you gave him two more, just to make sure he was comfortable, before wishing him good night.

♡ all was well. you were safe, you were home, and you could sleep.

♡ it wasn't until maybe two or three in the morning that you woke up to a nigh horrifying sight.

Leon was standing at the foot of your bed, staring at you.

♡ you let out a bit of a gasp, still too sleepy to realise really how strange it was. you asked him what he was doing, and his voice...how small it felt.

♡ "I thought you were gone."

♡ your heart breaks. god, Leon really was whipped. if even you could tell at that point, then it must've been some cupid-arrow shenanigans that got him this bad.

♡ in your haze, you just want to go back to sleep. so you pat the empty side of your bed, rolling over and shoving your head into your pillow.

♡ leon takes a second. he registers.

♡ "Do you want me to...sleep with you?"

♡ his awe is palpable. he asks twice, then thrice, each time with you answering with a nod until you ultimately just repeat him in your own voice.

♡ he climbs in and you realise he'd be trailing the blankets you gave him behind him, pulling them over the both of you when he got into the bed.

♡ there's a moment or two where he's just staring at you again, and you open your eyes with a soft smile. you tell him to get to bed.

♡ and you shut your eyes, sure that wherever K was, they were far, far away.

♡ ...did Leon just get closer?

[starlightshadowsworld]

I don't think we talk enough about how traumatising the memory erased stuff is.

Like how hard must it have been for everyone to suddenly realise years of their lives were missing.

To just come to the chilling realisation someone up until an hour ago was your friend.

Has caused the apocalypse.

You think your a first year high school student but nope.

Turns out you've already graduated.

Do they even know how old they are?

You don't know what's changed in your life, what hasn't.

Byakuya's whole family company is gone.

Makoto won't know if Komaru is alive for a long time.

... Are they the only ones left?

Food's suddenly an issue.

They have nowhere else to go.

Makoto has to carry on like his friends didn't just try and kill him.

Everyone else is gone.

They won but... Did they?

And that's just the first game, the Remnants are on a whole other level.

They've caused genocide.

Killed family, friends.

And don't know who or if anyone's left.

Hajime basically lost himself and his own identity for who knows how many years and he's just supposed to just... Exist like nothing happened.

It's like waking up from a nightmare and realising it was all true.

And they don't know what their forgetting or even if they want to remember.

All of them are alive but... Is that good?

They all know who killed them, and have to go on like they didn't.

And their alive...

Nagito's back in a body that's still sick.

Does Nekomaru have a body?

Hell, Sonia's country doesn't exist anymore.

And if I'm remembering correctly, Chiaki's still gone...

... Fucking glad Makoto was here at the end to do damage control because holyshit.

He's already gone through all of this and now is helping them get through it.

Which is great but also means he went through it alone.

Komaru has all her memories in tact but has to constantly choose her words.

Lest she sends Makoto or anyone of the other survivors into a crisis.

And than you have what may be the worse case, V3.

Because Shuichi doesn't even know if anythings real anymore.

Is he real?

Is his name Shuichi Saihara?

How many times has he died?

Is this the real world? What even is the real world?

Am I even a detective? Is all of my personality fake? Who am I? What was made for the show and what's real?

Does it even matter?

Do I have a family? How old am I? How long is 53 seasons? Are my friends still my friends, are they the same?

Is any of this real? Am I real?

If V3 ends like Danganronpa 2 did, is Kaede alive?

Do they remember each other? Is Kaito still sick?

Was Tsumugi ever a friend?

And again, knowing exactly who killed who.

..... You know people give Junko a lot of credit for causing despair.

As she deserves.

But her boyfriend deserves just as much because... Holyshit my dude this is sick.

Her boyfriend was, Yasuke Matsuda the Ultimate Neurologist.

Aka the dude responsibile for all the memory wipes.

Shame she killed him because talk about a power couple.

Causing the end of the world and lasting trauma to everyone involved.

Makoto gonna have to go give everuone therapy while also desperately needing therapy.

[punkascas]

okay, so i don't want to, like, Start Something or whatever so we're doing a barely-tagged, separate post. i also realise this is mostly pointless because others have already said what i'm going to say, and did it better, with far more grace, and sound less like an asshole than i do.

but jesus louise helen christ, the weird fucked up ideas people have around abuse and personal responsibility and the effect of trauma. like as an abuse and csa survivor, it genuinely alarms me to read posts that use arguments i remember my dad making. like, i'm assuming most of this rhetoric comes from gen z — maybe that's inaccurate; maybe that's unfair. but right now i'm very much Having A Moment Here that the kids aren't alright.

no 22-year-old should be repeating the same awful, manipulative, logically and morally bankrupt justifications for violence and torture my dad says. like literally what's in the first two episodes of ofmd s2 is torture.

i love ed; he's an amazing character. taika is hella wowza top marks acting him. but like.

like.

torture, my dude. physical and psychological. trauma. harassment. that we see the lasting effects of through s2.

just. i. what??

so here we go, okay. have too many, zealously highlighted screenshots so i can dig into details.

cut to save your dashes. content warning for discussions of abuse and trauma (if that wasn't obvious), as well as spoilers for ofmd s2.

re: ed knew what he was doing was wrong and felt guilty about it at the time:

we have no on-screen, textual examples of this. not in the dialogue; not in the acting; not in the blocking; not in the cinematography or music. nothing.

knowing the crew are overworked and kind of traumatised by all the violence, ed bribes them with cake. because, as we know, cake like tea fixes everything. only ed wasn't even with them to share in the eating of the cake. he made izzy responsible for that. he doesn't give the crew a break; he doesn't choose less ethically-fraught prizes to hunt. there is not one scene of ed talking directly to the crew — until he points a gun at each of them.

we see ed crying (and drinking, and rhino horn-ing [way to help further extinction, man]) but it's always paired with shots or flashbacks that reference stede. ed is still all up in his feelings about stede, and ed confirms this when he tells frenchie the myth about albatrosses never needing to return to land. ed cannot go back, does not want to go back, because he was rejected. (like, stede is literally landed gentry, come on!) all he wants to do instead is stay at sea committing to this unhinged version of unstable, sadistic piracy.

but okay, okay. say we ignore all of that. let's say ed does feel sorry and guilty and ashamed of his actions. he knows what he's doing is wrong and unfair and cruel. that it's harming others. that it's particularly harming the dude that ed has, for better or worse, basically spent his life with (izzy; i mean izzy). ed… still continues to do the things! how far off are we at this point from the definition of malicious? you know action x hurts person b and then you do it anyway. is that honestly a better, happier, more ethically defensible reading of the character?

re: the crew didn't mutiny because they love ed despite his violent, sadistic actions.

mutinies were a thing, yes. but both historically and in the world rules established by the show, mutiny is disincentivised through threats, distraction via extra work, and corporeal punishment. we see both ed and izzy use all three of these to try to prevent the crew from disobeying orders. they didn't wait until the storm and izzy shooting ed to mutiny because they understood or sympathised with ed; they took the chance to kill him then because that was the first real opportunity they'd had. the reward finally out-weighed the risk given that ed was going to kill them all that night anyway.

again, we have no scenes, no dialogue, no visual or audio cues to tell us that the crew understands or loves ed — excluding izzy, obviously. fang could also be on that list, if you take into account his personality and his behaviour both in s1 and later in s2 in the fishing boat scene. but in the first two episodes, we only see the crew show trauma responses around ed. they talk about him but almost never to him. and when they do have a direct conversation with ed, it is either confrontation or head down, submissive, "of course, blackbeard; anything you say" placating. i'm so baffled where the show points to any sign of love from the crew towards ed before his "death".

re: ed can't be held responsible because he was suicidal.

uhm. no. hard no. a harder no than stede's brazilian cherry wood mast. fucked up people do fucked up things but part of being an adult is owning your fucked-upped-ness and not fucking up others while you work on unfucking yourself. children, children are not fully responsible for the impact of their actions on others when they're deep in their feelings, especially if they're feeling their feelings as a trauma response. this is because literally their brain cannot do that kind of control. it doesn't have that software pack installed yet. ed does have all the adult updates installed, even if he isn't running them at that moment. he has no right to take out his feelings on other people: to maim them, to psychologically torture them, to abuse them, to work them to exhaustion. to kill them. he does not get a free pass to do suicide by abused employees. (like suicide by cop but more indirect and passive and harmful.) talk about passive aggressive.

secondly, ed is not just passively suicidal and happy to find new risks that might end his life. he is very purposefully taking izzy with him (see: literally removing the bits of izzy that would help let him walk away from ed; the fact that ed becomes actively suicidal only once he thinks izzy is dead; the whole keeping izzy's corpse in front of his and stede's beach shack i mean inn — the codependence, she runs deep). ed is also putting the crew through the same risks, the same isolation, the same danger. both stede and izzy agreed that ed had gone full scorched earth policy. you don't get forgiven for the murder part of a murder-suicide pact just because of the suicide part. not to mention that no one (once again, you could potentially argue izzy as an exception) was good on a murder-suicide pact with blackbeard.

and then to say the crew felt guilty? i assume i'm misreading that. the crew. felt guilty. for ed's actions. that is, if not victim blaming and if not darvo, a very close inbred cousin of them. like hapsburg jaw inbred close.

re: ed healing and his view of himself as a monster.

to heal means, in part, to accept responsibility for the harm you've caused, whether it was intentional or not. it means making amends. it means building or rebuilding relationships where possible. it means putting the other person or persons' feelings and boundaries and need for safety above your desire for absolution or forgiveness. it means working through your own guilt and shame and anger (or whatever drove you to act the way you did) in a separate space, not with the people you hurt, but someone who can be a step removed, more impersonal and objective to help you reflect and face hard truths as needed. i say this as both someone involved in activism and community reparations and as an abuse survivor who has done nearly 30 years of therapy learning this in order to not hurt people. it's not ed's fault he's fucked up just like it isn't my fault i am. but it is on me, like it is on anyone, to make sure i limited as much as possible the harm i can cause to others because i learned some awful but very effective tricks at a young age to survive.

ed does not really do any of the above. he doesn't say "sorry". he speaks in generalised language. he complains about the cat bell (which he seems to wear only for one day, given the implied timeline with lucius and pete's engagement). i have a model ship on a stand that says "this is a safe space ship" as a joke because i work for the government and have written press releases that sound just like ed's "apology". where you take no responsibility and encourage "the culture" to move on.

so, really, my question becomes: ed sees himself as a monster. in s1, we had enough balance between ed's current actions and his referenced past actions to see this belief as likely untrue. in s2 though — i mean, is it? is that an unfair or inaccurate belief? i can understand how carrying that belief can get in the way of ed's growth and eventual healing but like. from an outside perspective of ed-the-fictional-character. he's not a "good" person. he's capable of and has done and continued to do horrible, cruel things. ethically, can you argue with that statement about him?

re: ed trying to destroy relationships because of his self-worth issues and instead the consequences of his actions proving that he's loved.

this is the point that made me go: right, no, i need to respond. i need to say my piece about this. izzy and the crew suffering ed's violent tyranny and then sticking around on the revenge anyway afterwards is not a sign of love. it is not showing love to bear pain for someone. it not showing love to let someone mistreat you, threaten you, hurt you, maim you. their actions are selfish and done to give them feelings of power and control over you. lying back and thinking of england to get through it is not love. it is absolutely a survival technique. but it is not love when you do it at the expense of yourself or others.

i also disagree that ed was trying to push people away or break his relationships with others. we know from s1 that ed is fairly blasé about whether crew members die. again, we don't see any friendly or intimate exchanges between ed and any of the crew to imply any kind of relationship there beyond "tools who accomplish ed's goals". the one exception, as always, is izzy. and as previously stated, ed seems bound and determined, in a very conscious way, to bring izzy into death with him. ed does everything in his power to make izzy want to kill ed, or at least agree that it's best if ed dies, and to want to kill himself so ed doesn't have to die alone. that isn't ed breaking that relationship; it's making it permanent in a really fucked up shakespearian way. the only relationship we see ed waffle between wanting to keep and wanting to push away is stede. after his corporate "apology" and the fishing trip with fang, all of ed's dialogue is with stede and a little bit with zheng until izzy's death scene. the crew loving ed just isn't a thing, at least not one we're shown. not from either side. ed's relationships are with stede and kind of, sort of with izzy (because he does manage to, if not fully break, do some major damage to that).

love did not save ed. ed wanting to live, because stede came back, because he didn't want to jump off hornigold's cliff in the first place, saved ed. izzy saved everyone else.

so yeah: that's it; that's the post. the rhetoric that abuse is love or that abuse can be "cured" with love or that trauma isn't lasting and serious and has impacts on people's daily lives is just. wild. wild.

and terrifying.

my dad was born in the 40s. why is anyone born in the 80s or later still defending this mindset? it honestly, truly freaks me out.

guess it's good i have a fucking therapy appointment on monday.

[jewish-vents]

I feel like a lot of American Jews who hate Israelis don’t really realise how lucky and privileged they are to be where they are. Their ancestors had the resources or money to be able to go to the US, which is really not something that most Israelis’ ancestors did. My family, on both sides but especially on my Mizrachi mother’s, were poor and literally had no other option. When my mother’s family were getting out of Iran, they didn’t have the money to go to places like America or Europe— the only place they could afford to flee to was Israel. It’s even worse for Mizrachim who were in Arab countries, seeing as for many of them their assets were completely seized and they had to get airlifted or smuggled out by Israel. And of course you have so many shoah survivors who were left with nothing and then chased out of the countries they tried to return to. It’s just exhausting dealing with these kinds of people, because they genuinely think that ever Jew had the opportunities that their grandparents did, not realising how insanely lucky they actually were. Not everyone could be like you, and shaming people and calling them monsters for fleeing from their murderers is, to be frank, absolutely evil

.

[saltyskeletonkidpasta]

Trump supporters are so fucking stupid..the amount of them that say kamala is a communist/marxist etc yet literally dont even know what these words mean...its laughable until you realise these people vote.

And they constantly go on abt the economy under trump and how taxes were cheaper. The thing abt alot of americans is they dont even know how Congress works. Alot of economic policies take years to go into effect so most take effect after the president's presidency so it was better under trump bc of Obama's administration💀 and it's worse under biden bc america is literally under trumps tax policy rn and will be until 2025..unless you are the top 1% I promise you wont benefit from trump.

Also if you are pro life you are pure fucking evil idc..trump and JD are bragging abt overturning roe v wade and say it's doing "beautiful work" and its BS what is beautiful abt women who have had a complication in her WANTED pregnancy and then having to wait while bleeding out until she goes into SEPTIC SHOCK to get medical care and almost die? What's beautiful abt SA survivors having to carry their abusers baby?I dont know if they realise the circumstances abortion is so often needed but these are the same people who think "after birth abortions" are a thing...

Kamala seems very capable and moral and I like what she stands for. Idk why the right keep saying she has no policies like she literally does the first thing she said at the debate was her policy on inflation and affordable housing? idk if america is progressive enough to vote her in tho most people are too stupid and ignorant to know what they're voting for

[rottenpumpkin13]

Psssst, I looked back at the ask you sent me and realised I gave you AGS not AGSZC so errr here✨✨ \(^_^)/✨✨

Ahem. After the events advent children Genesis’ returns to ask Clouds forgiveness. This results in Cloud coldly recounting in excruciating detail :

How Sephiroth starved himself after Genesis left.

How they had to kill Angeal and the emotional brakedown Zack suffered because of it.

Exactly how Sephiroth murdered his village

And a blow by blow account of every bullet that entered Zacks body and how he blamed Genesis for every single one of them.

Genesis is not forgiven and Cloud tells him that if he ever sets foot in his city, near his children again then Cloud will ensure he is the only one that remembers their names.

… that is my angstiest headcanon. I’ll show myself out now.

Aww man, this hit extra hard as a strifesodos shipper (╥﹏╥). It's realistic though, since Genesis indirectly triggered everything that happened the way it did (though the truth coming out would've led to disaster either way considering the extent of the Jenova Project)

Angeal had to deal with the revelation that his mother was complicit in the project, lied to him his entire life, and that his biological father was actually Hollander. Sephiroth had that whole mess with Shinra keeping him as an attack dog weapon and lying to him, and Genesis had every right to revolt against Shinra and those who stripped them of their humanity. They were born with alien cells for god's sake.

But it would be so much worse if it were ASGZC. In that scenario Genesis would have had people backing him up, but essentially left the people he loved in the dark and never told them anything about the project despite being the first to know.

Zack would've loved all these people who rotted away in one way or another. Genesis literally decayed, Sephiroth was wasting away, Zack was forced to kill Angeal but in this case they'd be lovers, and then he watched the man he loves burn Nibelheim down and kill Cloud's mother.

And the talk at the Nibel Reactor if Sephiroth and Genesis were partners would've been just as scummy, but this time what he said would be on purpose and meant to hurt, not "help," because there's no way he wouldn't have known about Sephiroth's mother. And then he left Zack and Cloud for dead—or worse, for Hojo.

Genesis and Cloud end up the only survivors, but by then they're far past the point of being lovers or friends. Even if Genesis had his reasons, Cloud wouldn't forgive him. This scenario is so heartbreaking but so real. Thanks for the extra headcanon!!!