#and the usual 'why is this 16 episodes long

[door-insurance]

So I played Life is Strange 2 for the first time ever

I didn’t wanna play it for a long time not cause it didn’t have Chloe or max (tbh I got sick of their asses around BtS they’re not even my faves)

By that point I was in college and had lost interest in the whole franchise but also I was very apprehensive of white creatives writing racism with no input from the group they’re portraying, they don’t usually do a good job

Sometimes they make it cartoony, sometimes they trivialize it, sometimes they romanticize it

So years later adulthood kicked my ass and I came back crawling to this franchise for some comfort, I finished True colors annnnd I finally started 2 after hesitating annnnd

^sketched this while playing

SPOILERS

I actually liked it

I liked Sean, the drawing segment he does- he was such a likable main guy, deserved better honestly.

I also liked Daniel, he was very adorable and I never got it when people called him annoying like no shit the 9 year old is gonna act like a 9 year old- just don’t be a jerk to him, I know he can be frustrating but that’s what taking care of a kid is like

And lis had always been about realistic complex characters, y’all can’t handle a traumatized nine year?

I have two younger siblings and two nieces plus I’ve been a bratty younger sibling to two older sisters

Maybe I’m just used to it?? But honestly Daniel wasn’t that bad

The racism portrayal in the first few episodes was not all that cartoony and it actually felt real at times, like I can check for American news rn and find stories similar to what you see in episodes 1-3 (minus the telekinesis)

Although the gas station racist hick spouting trump slogans was a bit on the nose, it’s more of dialogue thing

Some people thought the gas station detainment was egregious but it can happen unfortunately, especially to vulnerable people in rural areas and by someone of a higher systematic advantage

One other thing I did not like was the love interests, I thought Finn and Cassidy were alright characters on their own but why do we need romance in this game where the protagonists are always on the run?

I don’t like to compare lis 1 to 2 but when it comes to the romance the former did a better job as it spent more time establishing it, plus max stayed in the same place for the majority of the game- but you know what? Sean doesn’t have to be in a relationship right? It can be a one off thing, that’s fine

Which brings me to my next point

How old are Cassidy and Finn?

Cause Sean is still 16 and no, being on the road didn’t mentally age him- he’s not “mature” for his age

He is still a kid

So for some reason Dontnod never really specified their ages but some articles described them as teens (they look 30 to me) and they can be around 18 right? Their lives are hard stress ages you- it happens, we can with live that, it’s just a two years difference

But teens or not

why did they animate a whole knocking the boots scene???

Of all the games in the series, the only one that gets a sex scene is the one with the much younger protagonist and his ambiguously aged older looking love interest and I think it’s only with Cassidy you get to do it in the tent

Alex Chen was robbed of a on screen booty call from a beanie wearing lesbian with a sexy radio voice or a buff ass Adonis of a man who was Smokey the bear’s regional manager or something

Anyways I’m gonna move on I’m uncomfortable lmao

*im not hating on people who ship Sean with either Finn or Cassidy, I’m not even tagging your ship names- im just stating my personal preferences on my blog

One last thing I did not like about LiS 2 and it was the one thing that kept me from playing it for years

That one scene from episode 4

So at this point Sean Diaz went through the following:

-lost his father, had to abandoned his loved ones, education and home

-was accused of killing a cop

-had to take care of his little brother on his own while on the run, the same brother with telekinesis and none of them know how to control it

-was harassed, beaten then detained by a racist white man

-had to take refuge in an abandoned cabin with little resources

-the dog that they adopted at the gas station eventually gets mauled

-the one time they found solace at their grandparents house they had to leave abruptly cause the police was hot on their trail

-on their way out they can potentially witness the neighbors kid that they befriended get hit by the police car that’s chasing them

-they find shelter at a nomad campground but oh no they get involved with drug trafficking cause they barely have any other options to make money (unfortunately this happens a lot IRL this isnt egregious)

-Sean now has to deal with the trafficking, making sure that Daniel doesn’t get into any trouble with his powers while fake ass giancarlo esposito is breathing down his neck

-and guess what happens next… Daniel gets robbed into pulling a heist on temu gus fring and it goes badly, Sean can potentially lose a love interest/friend in Finn

-Sean gets hurt, Daniel goes so mad that he blows the whole place up; a shard glass flies into Sean’s eye and he ends up losing it

- Sean wakes up from a coma and learns that his brother is missing and he’s about to be taken to jail

- the one thing that consistently brought him joy during this trip was his art and because of the missing eye he can’t even do it the same anymore cause it hurts now

- Sean has to escape the hospital with a hot wired car, little money and has to drive across two states just to get to his brother

-on the way he dreams of his father, he wants him back he wants his old life back but that’s not gonna happen so he has to move forward

Im not listing all this as examples of bad story telling, a lot of these are real life experiences of homeless people. im just painting a picture of the shit that Sean had went through so far

Cause right after the dream sequence, Dontnod didn’t think all that was enough no you had to see Sean get hate crimed by two lifetime movie, sitcom special of the week racists- be made to either sing or suffer a brutal beating

It added nothing to the plot, it didn’t need a choice system either- it’s a hate crime, you’re not asking Joyce for fucking pancakes or eggs n bacon at the whales diner or hosing down Lisa the fckin plant.

This to me went straight to trauma p*rn category, it’s wheelchair Chloe all over again

I hated it then in LiS 1 and I hated now in LiS 2, this is why I don’t dick ride Dontnod that often

They always had this tendency right before the end they single out a particular character and mentally whip them, they become the writing teams punching bag- they think we didn’t get it the first time that this character is going through it, they just hammer it in with the subtlety of a heart attack and I hate it

“Yeah but it’s there to show Sean’s resolve to find Daniel-“

HE ESCAPED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND THE FEDS, HE HOT WIRED A CAR TO DRIVE ACROSS TWO STATES

He’s starving, dehydrated, suffering from chronic pain

That’s enough

Let the character breathe

You ask why not a lot of people wanna play this game and I’m gonna tell you, as much I enjoyed it myself it’s not an easy game to play- it gets brutal, especially right around the end

I’m not against bleakness or extreme conflict, I’m into that but sometimes that doesn’t translate well to any gaming format- especially a choices matter game that’s meant to be replayed

Some people have asinine reasons not to play LiS 2 like it dealing with racism and those people suck, lis had always dealt with progressive themes like calling out objectification, cyberbullying and sl*tshaming

Racism shouldn’t be the exemption

but misuse of racial trauma and not knowing when it’s appropriate to invoke it is a huge turn off and hella triggering to a lot of non white players and I remember when LiS 2 dropped I’ve seen (mostly white) lis fans at the time proclaiming that not wanting to play it meant that you were racist

Like I said there were probably racists who didn’t wanna touch the games cause of the main characters skin but there were people like me who were apprehensive of the “Let’s go to the mosh pit Shaka brah” people handling racism

This is the same studio that had Ms Grant (one of the few black characters from LiS 1) claim that the white settlers peacefully shared the stolen land with the native Americans

I find that shit harder to believe than the time traveling powers

And they were doing alright in the first episodes they covered stuff like unconscious biases slipping through, dog whistles, polite racism from the grandparents segment, police brutality, racial profiling and being targeted/othered- some of these things I went through when I visited western countries

Then they did the bullshit I feared theyd do…

I really don’t blame myself for being hyper vigilant at the time and honestly I was going through a lot then, even if I wanted to I wouldn’t have touched LiS 2 cause it’s a very heavy tasking game to play

I know I kinda made it seem like I didn’t like this game but I did, its the best one in terms of the choice system

It had more weight to it, seeing Daniel internalizing what you say to him or how you act around him was so cool

Also what the second game has over the first one aside from the choices system is the ending selection- I never liked picking the endings for max, I wanted her to pick the ending or her coding/script to do that

Its definitely more fleshed out technically even though LiS 1 has a special place in my heart it’s always gonna be no. 1- but im also glad that I got to experience the 2nd game for the first time, I liked it

Personal lis ranking

1: Lis 1

2: Lis 2

3: True colors

Discount bin: BtS

My personal fave moments from LiS 2:

- beating up the racist bully and giving him a concussion

-mushroom (rip icon)

- victorias letter

-winning that that bear from that claw machine

-gorillaz song that was not feel good inc

-Brody pointing at a fucked up looking arcadia bay yelling “that’s the past!”- that was hilarious

-Sean paying tribute to Arcadia bay in his sketchbook (this fucking kid man, he’s so sweet he deserves the world- what did he do to make DONTNOD mad at him)

- the wolf animation and the story that plays before every chapter

-this was the worst hate crime in the whole game

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts — there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[baekuras]

Have stopped my binge of The Walking Dead (during season 9 just like last time I dropped it 😭 I am trying but also...tired so breaktime from that) to actually go watch Fear (the walking dead also bc duh) because I started it when it began but then took a break when it was on break till the new season and just never came back to it Anyhow I do also quite enjoy it (altho rip to I think season 4 which made me irate for many reasons at the beginning but then calmed down some so I am back to enjoying things) and the characters etc but I also am definitely going in it looking for comedy Didn’t do that for the main show as much because that was a rewatch But by now any media I consume I WILL make fun of (lovingly) or try to imagine funny scenes because...duh

i actually wanted to put all my other ramblings in the tags but there is was too much coming to mind with every word i write even though my memory can be shit so...readmore it is Watched till season 6 episode 5 so basically spoilers up to that

anyhow rip nick your chaos will be missed

i do also think the moment i rly decided to go make fun of everything lovingly(I need you to understand I genuinely mean that because I also did cry a lot during appropriate moments) was when nick & troy had their joyride through the horde at the ranch like yep everyone is stuck in the pantry slowly dying and also how the FUCK did we get here but also fuck it I���m in WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO CARCRASH

also fuck troy for being high on the “actual assholes i enjoy watching list” because while everyone of those got murder there why did he have to just casually sprinkle in some soft racism? or casual racism? i was about to say “not shoot on sight-racism” because rhe does do that...or I believe he would but that’s more a “humans are alive” thing than a “oh god is that a native american human ALIVE” thing....that’s his dad-may he rest in fucking hell forever dear GOD did his kids deserve better than his shitty ass making problems present past and future FUCK THAT man he is NOT on my “assholes who i actually like on screen” list

like my mood basically went from “urgh oh god fuck he’s a racist shithole.” to “oh FUCK he’s a child abuser racist shithole WHY DON’T YOU KEEP ADDING ON LET’S GET A FLAMETHROWER A GUN ISN’T ENOUGH HERE” (i think that’s basically about where i’ll end my opinions on the whole ranch shebang because any details may be missed by yours truly not being american so i am not going to know most details on treatment of native americans in the current age or age when this was filmed beyond the “oh yeah it’s shit” bits although I will mention that Taqa’s whole “he stole my ancestors land” at the beginning bothered me until it was revealed that “oh this dickbag actually shot his family like in the current time not 500years ago okay yeah no go off baby have fun”....and also that i only now learned his name was spelled w/ a q dear god everyones accent had me confused on his name for the longest time and his last name is ACTUALLY Walker why does it have to sound so same i am so bad with names aaaaaaah qwq anyhow rip him i was confused until now if his name was Walker(actual last nime), Tucker(which does not fit), Taka(also doesnt fit because it seemed more japanese to me but between the 3 options my brain presented was the most fitting so.....but noppe....a fucking q....just right there.....I’ll take the L and also where the fuck did this man even fuck off to)

speaking of fucking off: Rip to Nick, you blew up a damn only to die w/out any further character development afterwards 2 episodes later and then just got to hang out in the background in the past parts of future episodes

WHICH BY THE WAY IRRITATED ME SO MUCH not the Nick died thing but yes just from a “we are starting a new storyline for this-oops he dead :D” point yes it’s urgh But the flip-flopping from Past to present to past no present pastpresentpastofpewwgvszujsiop aneurysm of storytelling Like Okay So we start with new characters i have yet to give a shit about (and morgan who i have yet to give a shit about...again) to then go back to our oldies and THEN they fight and it’s a mess but now they’re friends somewhere between the past being shown and everyone fighting and manipulating and Al filming Nick’s dead body and me yet having to give a shit about anyone except for John because he seemed sweet and that’s about it what the actual fuck so yeah i skipped most of that until it calmed the fuck down but by then I was mostly annoyed by Al(i like her now but at the beginning i was mostly like “yeah yeah you got a big fuck you truck and like being an asshole to people and just bother and annoy them for a video-did great on youtube huh didn’t you now how about you actually do something helpful and get your ass out WITHOUT being a dickhead?” kinda deal....we got so far in terms of me actually giving a shit about her lol)

speaking of new character or oldes ones returning, Dwight! my boy! continuing being shot in various limbs to then stumble around (how is that a trend i notice) also rip his hairline because I am pretty sure between the main show and fear the makeup artists added more scarring to that scar-which i dont mind but is also kinda funny to imagine (like sir negan didnt burn you THAT much where did you find the rest or is it just the way you part your hair?) regarding hair post haircut&shave&further haircut later: who is this  man and what have you done with the  burned rat from before? anyhow i still like him and i kiiiiinda wish Morgan was a character who would have been more involved about the past simply because I’d have liked to see them chat about it-not even anything heavy but just about what happened, how everyone was doing after Dwight went away because Morgan was still there for a bit at least, or idk just a bit more remembrances of where they came from sprinkled in there

I mean we do have Morgan and his staff stuff still which I do actually enjoy, and ofc lately Dwight showing off his fancy torture skills ala....music like the good old saviour days but i want more xp

which goes back to another moment i had to chuckle at in my head even if it wasnt funny because Sherry basically went “We will hunt Virigina down and kill her and end all of this” to which Dwight basically went “okay i got my torture gear ready, got a plan and am ready to do some murder lets go” //insert Sherry shocked pikachu face-meme here I keep forgetting she left before shit got really real and heavy  but like....yeah honey here is your husband back he comes with some extra baggage but also....you were there when he was part of fucking Daryl up what are you surprised by? That he’d literally kill for you and abandon what he built with the others if need be? bitch he followed you across the country for god knows how long-it’s Dwight! of course he would sweety please although i would like him to just tear some ass  because there were many a moment where i though it justified but yes yes we go keep being peaceful now-and that’s good! mostly because the main cast we actually like and care about isn’t dropping like flies but i did also have fun w/ the whole war between the saviour and everyone else soooooooo....yeah chaos reigns

also shoutout randomly to the not-yet-radioactive kids+others who just disappeared from the story long enough to make me wonder if the writers forgot about them and then they appeared in the next episode lol

also random shoutout to john&june because they are adorable and cool and work well together as a team and couple i really like them

backpaddling to earlier again because rip alicia because if we timeline was in order it wouldnt have gone down in that order but just watching it she went from losing her brother to her mother dipping out shortly after her favourite child died like “woops sorry but i’ll go sacrifice myself now go take care of yourself now w/out your family like before” although last time someone started a fire and was dead they didn’t stay that way so...eh who knows let Madison return and fuck more shit and people up in her desperate attempt to keep her family alive(oops) and make things better but also kill anyone if she has to but at least she has nightmares about it <3

did I already mention I also had to laugh at Chris AND Travis’ deaths? not because they died because yeah sad i guess but A I didn’t like Chris at all so I was happy and B dear god this teen really went with some dumb ragtag dudebros who just shot their friend to death for a hurt leg (what is he? a horse? grow up) and then wanted o be hip and cool driving their car and crashed it and THEN got shot for the same thing you FUCKING IDIOT I am very much on the side of “let the kids go out and do stuff they can survive and aren’t 12″ but also chris my guy are you perhaps stupid or an idiot? prime teenage behaviour 10/10 made me hate him not for anything i’d consider bad writing but just for being a shithead i’d have known in highschool

Travis’ death made me laugh simply because of how abrupt it was and also how he just yeeted himself out the plane like yes a walker in there while they’re busy crashing down is bad but also lol (also Taqa going to the leftovers with Alicia all proud they shot it out the sky...................i also had to laugh because DUDE YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT....bitch is proudly showing off his kill from the wanna-be military ranch and it’s basically her dads corpse in the context of things.....like........i am dying xDD you can not be serious what was the plan here other than showing off? and then immediately having to feel a bit bad about it because woops killed the wrong man)

also trav dying via neck bullet vs morgan surviving heart bullet for over a month and being just fine after it got out travis forgot his plot armor rip v-v

[callooopie]

Modern!Davos Blackwood headcannons (pt. 2)

— The hastily written during work break edition —

I get messages from the stars, when you’re making love to me — Messages From the Stars // The Rah Band

i go to college to get more knowledge but why does college interfere with my tumblr writing 😔 I’m not even at school yet and I’ve gotta start kicking into academic gear..

In light of some recent episode developments. I think I’ll rescind the headcannon that his name is Benjicot Davos. It’s just Davos now. (Lowkey… I thought HBO would just honestly write out the character of Benjicot… I was apparently wrong when they just mentioned him ig) anyways new headcannon Davos has a little brother, surprise. Ben’s gotta learn unhinged behavior from somewhere after all.. and what better way to start than with his “cool” older brother.

You know that text post that goes like “Have you ever argued with your girlfriend?” “Nope. She tells me to shut up and I do.” That was actually a text convo between Davos and his friend. He’s dumb, but not stupid. If you tell him to do something he’s doing it (as long as it’s legal… then again he’s really not the type to listen to the law)

He likes slow and domestic mornings. Getting up late, brushing your teeth together. He’ll flick water at you as you’re brushing your hair or doing your skincare routine with the most dopey and tired smile. He knows he’s won when you stop what you’re doing to stare at him with an unamused look. He washes his face like a lunatic though (both hands just furiously rubbing his face with little to no product). He’ll make the coffee and you turn on the tv. Pure silence except for the background noise of a news channel or show. Don’t even get him started on the part where you both fall back asleep on the couch as the sun rises and sunlight funnels in through the curtains. Pure bliss.

He LOVES girls night. How did he get an invite? He didn’t! But he’s quiet and normal, so he gets the girls night pass. It could be just you, or a few friends, even a group. But Davos will be there using the face masks, eating the finger food, drinking the fancy drinks. His girls night pass gets revoked though because he does not pay attention to the talk. He’s too busy devouring the charcuterie board to care about drama! …oh that’s the whole point of girls night? Oh… “Oh—and we like her right? …she’s problematic? …So we hate her? Oh… okay yeah she sounded weird—“

“Unique” pet names. There’s always the classics (love, darling, cutie, honey) but he’s got a few under his belt that turn heads, in a bad way maybe. He starts off pretty tame, he uses “my lady” a lot (chivalry-pilled). “Ma’am” too. “My lady” has a chance to devolve into “my liege” :/ Davos calls you pookie and you call him pookie back. You’re both pookie what can I say (sometimes uses the shortened ‘pooks’). Every single pet name he uses must have ‘my’ in front of it. “Do you want to get that pizza from that one place, my lady? Yeah? Okay—No I can pay don’t worry about it, my lovely.”

If you’re not a gamer, but you like to play in both casual and competitive games with him. The only reason you’re having a pretty good game in a competitive game is because Davos is fighting for his life to give you guys the W. Sometimes you’re a little lost, sometimes you clutch up. But usually it’s him, keyboard furiously clicking, eyes darting around his monitor. His face is literally in the monitor he’s so locked in. And you’re just in the call like (“Aw dang it I died.. woww you make it look so easy!”) “Me? No you’re doing work too—look at all those assists and kills you got. You’re pulling your weight too. You get ‘em low I clean up. It’s these other fuckers on our team that aren’t—“ (he went 30/14/5 and you went 10/21/16)

Regardless of your skills in video games, he gets so hype for you in them. Casual or competitive, he’s screaming about every single achievement you or you both make. A clutch round you win all by yourself? GG EZ TELL EM TO GO NEXT THEY DON’T WANT YOUR SMOKE. You build something in your shared Minecraft world? Stunning, beautiful. The architecture is to die for. The redstone? You did that all yourself? He would’ve thought you followed a tutorial it was so good!

Can eat, will eat. He’s a big strong boy, he’s gotta eat. Which means if you ask for Taco Bell or McDonald’s at 2 am? He’s gonna get some with you! You can honestly just text him an order and he’ll understand right away. This turns into you both driving around late at night, music blasting and you feeding him fries. Speaking of food; he’s a heavy believer in the ‘boyfriend tax’. He will steal a sip of your drink or a bite of your food, regardless of consequences.

I do believe Davos is sassy. It’s like dangerous levels of sass he gives you sometimes. It makes you do a double take. Side-eyes, eye rolls, scoffs, dramatic sighs. He is a drama queen.

How he deals with others who bother you in public can range between normal and not normal. Davos has a few options that run through his mind when you encounter a catcaller or unwanted advances. He can either tell the guy to fuck off, start a fight, start barking at him. He will bark, he has barked. It startled you more than the offending guy. But also Davos knows when to get serious, when to actually deal with someone who’s invading your space or not leaving you alone. He’s a tall dude, he works out. He can be pretty imposing. And he’s not afraid to be the first one to hit or push, especially if the offending man has gotten on his nerves too. And not just because they were trying to flirt or shoot a shot at you.

A big aquarium date guy. Or any date really. Actually, any way he can hang out or be near you is considered a date to him and something that makes his day much better. He likes spending time with you, and he likes showing you off to the public. He gets to walk next to you and say “that’s my date! They’re on a date with me!” It’s perhaps the best part of the whole day, being able to be seen right with you. Even if you’re just a passing couple, two people in the midst of a whole crowd, it’s still something to Davos. And that something tells everyone that you’re his.

[hungiehipo]

Macdennis timeline

Macdennis

The 16 season long situationship filled to the brim with sociopathic tendencies, mutual abuse, and disorganized attachment between a man burdened by Catholic guilt who doesn't want love unless it hurts and a deeply dissociated man who can't be authentic unless he's immersed in a facade. And they were roommates.

What can be said that hasn't been said before? Probably nothing... still here's this.

S1-S4 PRE-MACDENNIS

This is before Mac and Dennis find themselves unwittingly thrust into a relationship neither is aware of. There is a homoerotic undertone, albeit usually as more of a joke than anything else. Neither has realized that their feelings for the other goes beyond friendship.

(Season 1 ep 1) Famous tequila scene.

(season 3 ep 4) Mac says I love you to Dennis.

(season 3 ep 15) gang dances their asses off macs dance pantomiming blowing Dennis.

(season 4 ep 1) Man hunters. Dennis puts his balls in Mac's mouth when he's sleeping, and mac shaves his pubes and glues them to Dennis' face.

(season 4 ep 4) Charlie asks Dennis if he still gets the feeling Mac wants to bang them, and that's why Mac makes project badass, Dennis agrees.

(season 4 ep 13) Nightman cometh. Mac gets a boner when Dennis' character pantomimes sex with him in the play. Dennis rips macs heart out (this comes back later)

S5-S7 MACDENNIS INTENTIONAL

Season 5 Macdennis hits like a truck. Dennis has feelings and they are BIG. We the audience witness a masterful display of homoerotic desire wrapped in a stunning amount of cognitive dissonance until "breakup" where Dennis is forced to confront the reality of his feelings. Following this crucial turning point, we are treated to a series of back and forth assertions of no-homo, feelings getting hurt, and lashing out. In order, we get Dennis introducing the dennis system, mac fighting gay marriage, Dennis getting married and kicking Mac out of the apartment, and finally Dennis getting a divorce.

Things are notably different between them post-divorce, marked by a mutual retreat from both Mac and Dennis. There's a shared reluctance to appear overly invested in each other romantically. This dynamic persists into Season 7, where Mac and Dennis noticeably maintain a considerable distance compared to previous seasons. In my honest opinion, this season exhibits the least Macdennis of any. Dennis being unhappy with Mac's weight gain likely contributes to this.

(Season 5 episode 1) Dennis suggests that they pretend to be gay married realtors. Some will say that being gay married was not essential to the scheme. Some would even say that to sell the being married thing Dennis did NOT have to be that touchy touchy. Source of baby boy nickname that has penetrated every corner of AO3 macden fanfiction.

(season 5 episode 8) PADDY'S THONG DUDE!!! PADDY'S THONG! I'm not wearing these because I'm comfortable I'm wearing them cause i wanna turn YOU on, you know what I'm saying??? you get it???

Mac jerks off a shotgun and blows its load in a kneeling dennis' gaping mouth.

(season 5 episode 9) They break up. In the podcast they say that this is a romcom. Dee points out that they act like an old married couple. Realization dawns on dennis's face and he proceeds to freak the hell out. Why? I mean... he knew it was true. We learn that they have a weekly movie night. Mac is jealous of video store clerk guy. We learn that they check in. Deleted scene at the end has Dennis blurting out that Mac has "beautiful lips" and again looking horrified.

(season 5 ep 10) Immediately after break up Dennis introduces his fool proof system for attracting WOMeN with big BIG BOOB for SEX.

(season 6 ep 1) Mac goes on a rampage against gay marriage after just last season being fake gay married to dennis. Dennis immediately gets married and kicks Mac out of the apartment. (Dennis also says he doesn't "have feelings", which Mac internalizes and it comes back in season 12)

(season 6 ep 2) dennis immediately divorces said woman and lets his boy toy (his words) come home.

radio silence all of season 7 except....

(season 7 ep 1) They go to the doctor, mac tries to carry dennis out bridal style. Dennis eats a chimichanga with Mac (romantic).

(season 7 ep 6) cold open, Dennis is holding Macs forearm while they watch the TV.

-season 7 we also learn that Mac slept with Dennis' prom date and it was very easy.

S8-S9 The kiss, the date, and the platonic naked wrestling shower scene

I believe this is the point where Mac starts to get the feeling something is off. (Again, Dennis realized in season 5). Mac has far more dissonance about it though, he like just wants to be best bros with Dennis for life, cause Dennis is like soooo cool. He is definitely not in love with Dennis he just loves Dennis like, as a blood brother. HE IS NOT GAY BECAUSE THAT IS A SIN. HE SERIOUSLY LOVES GOD A LOT.

In Season 8's Dines out Dennis delivers a speech wherein he admits that he thinks of Mac as a man who knows exactly who he is. Season 9's Mac day shows the total elimination of this belief after a full day filled with Macs self hating homophobia contrasting with his out and proud cousin "country mac".

(Season 8 ep 2) Whelp, God only knows how we ended up here after a drought like season 7, but 8 kicks off with a bang with an out of nowhere kissing attempt from Mac… right in front of Charlie too. By the look on Dennis' face I'm going to guess this has never happened before. I genuinely wonder what compelled him to do this…. like….is he just always thinking about it and forgot hes not supposed to do it for real? was it instinct?

(Season 8 ep 6) Dennis deals with emotional numbness, and nothing he tries makes him feel anything until the end of the episode where he feels too much after seeing his dead mother. This is not overtly macdennis but I think it demonstrates how he struggles with emotion and why Mac believes that Dennis does not have feelings.

(season 8 episode 9) Mac and Dennis are going on a fancy dinner date every single month. Monthly dinner and weekly movie nights.... anyway. Mac is upset that Dennis won't say something nice to him so Dennis does a speech to the whole restaurant. Yes he did kinda do it to dunk on frank and charlie. Yes he loved the attention. I think he meant what he said.

(season 8 episode 10) Dennis gets turned on by Mac totally intellectually dominating him while giving his anti science presentation. Also in the car at the end Mac was flirting.

(season 9 episode 3) Mac day. Praise God. Dennis is drowning in a sea of Macs delusion. Mac believes himself to be totally badass and not at all gay while repeatedly demonstrating the opposite. Country Mac shows Dennis what Mac could be if he was all the things he said he was and just embraced that he was gay. Dennis resents Mac.

(season 9 episode 6) saves the day. Macs fantasy involves Dennis wailing over his corpse, proclaiming his love. Dennis' fantasy is interesting, revealing his fear that Mac would abandon him the moment his sexual appeal fades. He envisions the possibility of being loved for more than his sexual abilities, yet his declaration of love precludes Jackie being hit by a car, leading to the loss of her breasts, and Dennis choosing to leave her. Lot to unpack here.

(season 9 episode 8) Mac and Dennis are trying to catch a rat. Mac tries to bash the rat, but Dennis says that its not about brute force, its about seduction. He turns on some romantic music and they both sway back and forth, looking into each others eyes, Mac takes a step forward, but Dee enters the room and the second dennis sees her he spins around and walks away.

I also feel the need to point out that Mac and Dennis went to high school together, and Macs nickname in high school was....well... Ronnie the rat.

(season 9 episode 9) Mac writes into the script of lethal weapon a scene where he and Dennis, I kid you not, wrestle naked in a shower. If you can call it wrestling... though it's more accurately described as an opportunity for an intense, naked embrace.

(season 9 episode 10) Cute food fight scene. Their apartment burns down.

s10-11 Out of their natural environment

Following the incineration of their shared home, macdennis moves in with Dee and all three of them hate it so so much.

(season 10 episode 1) Dennis looks at Mac like he wants to eat him (4 min 24 seconds) Mac says wait Dennis don't go and Dennis turns like he's expecting.... I don't know.

(season 10 episode 5) Mac and Dennis take turns watching and jacking off to creampie videos. Some will say they could just find their own porn, however I think this is one of the numerous creative ways they've found to have a sex life with each other.

(season 10 ep 3) Dennis is diagnosed with BPD.

(season 10 ep 6) The gang embarks on a journey of independence, only to discover that their lives are intricately woven together. For better or worse they will never escape each other, and will likely live this way until they die.

(season 10 episode 10) Dennis creates an entire fake cult to get Mac to do things he wants him to do. Says Macs been looking so good so sexy lately *manipulative*

(season 11 episode 4) Mac turns off the video Dee made about Dennis being raped by the librarian.

(season 11 episode 5) Macdennis play house. Mac asks Dennis if he can hear the beep too, Dennis gaslights him and says no, meanwhile getting increasingly agitated by the pool filter. It's already been explained more better by others but basically this is a metaphor for Mac wanting Dennis to acknowledge what has been happening between them, while Dennis adamantly avoids doing so. Instead, he channels his frustrations into unrelated problems.

Dennis hates going to work alone all day and Mac hates staying home, which could easily be fixed by having Mac come to work with him. Instead, Dennis' solution is a "honey-do list" (a list of chores a man would give his wife) and a dog, which Mac names DENNIS JR. (parallel to Dennis' real kid who is named Brian Jr. ) This kind of relationship paralleling is a recurring theme; for example in gets romantic, double life, and celebrity booze).

In the beginning of the episode Dennis wants to listen to Bryan Adams in the car. At the end of the episode Mac confronts him by saying "everything I do I do it for you, and everything you do you do it for yourself". (referencing the title of a very romantic Bryan Adams song)

dennis says he hates him

(season 11 ep 6) Mac asks Frank if he thinks Dennis hates him, because he just wants him to think he's cool and he puts so much work into this relationship and *unintelligible* (seriously if anyone know what Mac is saying when Frank spaces out please message me)

(season 11 ep 8) Dennis also knows about the gay bar

(Season 11 ep 10) 🎵 Amazing Grace how sweet the sauce 🎵

Mac comes out. When they play fake dinner Mac talks about him and Dennis' future home where they will have dinner parties and touches Dennis' hand. Confused, Dennis questions the idea of it being "their" home, seemingly operating under the misconception that he and Mac might eventually part ways and not continue living together.

Mac prays to god that they be saved and after being rescued he goes back into the closet.

s12 Mac claims to be gay and Dennis leaves the state of Pennsylvania

Season 12 is my favorite season!

Mac comes out, has a gay dream, gives Dennis a present, tries to insert himself as 2nd father of Dennis' child, and is swiftly abandoned.

Things start to get a little too real for Dennis, and hes just a little too vulnerable. Perfectly it turns out he has an opportunity to live the typical nuclear family lifestyle he's envisioned for himself and escape all his troubles.

(season 12 episode 6) Gay Mac rules! rich gay Mac!

The watershed moment wherein Mac comes out as gay for real this time. Dennis is beyond shocked.

(season 12 episode 7) Mac fully grasps that his feelings for Dennis are romantic after having a dream where Dennis kisses him. Upon waking he goes to find Dennis. Again Dennis dances towards him and leans in, Macs eyes light up thinking that his dream is coming true but Dennis slams the door in his face.

(season 12 ep 8) Dennis wants to completely ignore Valentines day because he doesn't think he has anybody who really cares about/loves him. Everyone in the gang openly states that they don't think he has feelings.

At the end of the ep. Mac has Dennis open a crate, which turns out to be an RPG (something that Dennis thinks is awesome and talks about all the time), and he tears up, he's incredibly touched. When Mac says there is no rocket (rendering the gift effectively useless) Dennis says he doesn't care, he loves it. Mac figured out the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world and got it for him. This is likely not referring to the RPG but instead to the fact that he wanted someone to show him that they love him/care about him.

(season 12 ep 10) Dennis is revealed to have a son with Mandy, a woman who he had sex with on his layover from the wade boggs episode. To get him out of this jam Mac suggests they pretend to be in a relationship. Dennis, reluctantly going along with the plan, tells Mandy he sleeps with women but he is emotionally invested with Mac. When she is fine with it and says she wouldn't mind Brian Jr. having two dads, Mac enthusiastically agrees to parent Dennis' kid with him. When Dennis asks Mac why he would agree to that, since they are not a couple, Mac replies that he thought they could just keep pretending.

Mac wins a bet and gets to refurnish the apartment. He surprises Dennis by recreating their old apartment down to the last detail, save his own bedroom, which he leaves empty. He only buys Dennis a bed because he is hoping Dennis will go along with continuing to share a bed like they did at Dee's.

At the end of the episode Dennis announces he is leaving to go raise his son in North Dakota with Mandy. Nobody tries to stop him.

S13-14 DENNIS IS COMING BACK HOT

Dennis' 2 most angry/upset seasons.

In the season 13 promos Dennis is like a ghost, watching the gang laughing and talking without him. At some points they seem to notice that he's there, but just don't care. He is the only one spooked by the weird things happening around the bar.

In season 13 Dennis' returns and feels as though he is not important or needed by his friends. Mac has a journey of self-discovery, coming to terms with his sexuality and finding his identity as a gay man. Mac relies on Dennis to tell him what to do, desperate to please him, but Dennis wants Mac to take control and take care of him. Dennis only wants the illusion of control.

(Season 13 episode 1) Mac orders a sex doll of Dennis and swears he isn't blowing his loads into it. Dennis comes back.

(Season 13 episode 2) Mac finds a heart shaped lock clue whilst doing an escape room. Dennis says they should keep it between themselves.

(season 13 episode 4) Dennis holds a seminar where he publicly declares his own heterosexuality and lack of interest in Mac.

just gonna leave these quotes-

dennis- "some of you just haven't been careful enough, so youre asking yourself what can I do to save myself now. You gotta clean up your act otherwise you're going down, and you're gonna take me down with you and I ain't going down. You understand? I've been telling you this for years but you refused to listen"

----

mac- "and we should probably stop harassing them"

dennis, replying to Mac- " uh well you know, one step at a time we don't want the whole system to collapse" (but Macs only crime was being too open with his feelings for Dennis)

(season 13 ep 5) Dennis opens the floor for questions about his absence. He totally gets that everyone was giving him some space and respecting his privacy, and he's ready to talk about it now but...they just don't actually care....at all... (including Mac)

(season 13 episode 7) Its my personal interpretation that all of clip show happens in Dennis' mind in an episode of dissociation. He imagines that Mac decided to come with him to north Carolina. He imagines being confronted about why he would want to live with Mac if he "hates" him so much.

(season 13 episode 10) Mac comes out to his father in a beautiful interpretive dance and is rejected.

(season 14 episode 1) Mac tries to get into Dennis' good graces again by staging a scheme to get Dennis laid just like old times. Interestingly, Dennis isn't all that interested in banging. When its not working out with the woman, Dennis decides that it's because the leads are actually Mac and the husband. They can't seem to figure out that the leads are really each other.

Mac and Dennis are paralleled by the married couple while Charlie and Frank are mirrored by the father son duo..

"If you'd just give us a chance, we could tell a love story for the ages, a gay GAY ass love story". WE ARE READY AND SO WILLING

(season 14 episode 5) "Bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads." (also refer to Macs super long pining text messages)

(season 14 ep 6) "all that for a whistle, I wonder what you'd do for a biscuit" I really don't understand how but apparently this episode really did happen and it wasn't in someones dream or anything like that??

(season 14 episode 10) Dennis says to Mac it's time to end the game. This could be interpreted as being about their 14 season song and dance, and would be backed up by the fact that the next season shows Mac completely backing off.

s15-s16 Acceptance and regret

mac tries to move on, Dennis misses his baby boy

(season 15 episode 1) We get some cute broke back mountain Macdennis. They play guitar and sing a love song they wrote together, looking into each other's eyes.

(season 15 ep 4) There's a subtle moment that's easy to miss. Dennis pats Mac's hand when they are talking to Charlie and Mac looks down at it, taking a deep breath.

(season 15 ep 5) Dennis has COVID and Mac isn't concerned, in fact he is irritated that Dennis wont admit he's sick. This is a big change from the last couple of seasons where Mac is desperate to take care of Dennis.

(season 16 episode 1) Mac and Dennis throw away all of their furniture including their beds. They now share an inflatable bed/couch and sleep together in it (just a couple seasons ago Dennis was absolutely refusing to sleep in the same bed as Mac). They are touching so much in the bed. Dennis is concerned for Mac because he has been continuously consuming nuts that he is allergic to (there's a metaphor here) and is heavily wheezing. Dennis gently places two fingers on Macs neck to check his pulse.

If Dennis did not want to sleep in the bed with Mac he would have gone and bought another inflatable bed. He would have made Mac sleep on the ground. He would have gone to sleep at Dees house. He wanted to be in that bed with Mac.

(season 16 episode 4) Dennis creates a fake dating profile under the alias of "Johnny". He buys Mac extra large anal beads to put inside of him at all times, and turns them on to signal to Mac to meet him at a hotel. He says he did it to....get him out of the house? and to get Mac to....buy him crab?

Dennis looks so devastated when Mac says he's in love with Johnny. I kinda wonder if it's the idea that Mac could love someone else that upsets him... or if he's reacting to Mac telling him he is in love with him to his face?

This is also the episode where we learn that Dennis has a fool proof method for attracting men. When Mac and Dee ask why he has this system he just shushes them.

(season 16 episode 5) The relationship between Malcom and his dad is a parallel of Mac and Dennis's relationship. The speech at the end to me seems like its hinting that Mac knows more/ has more control and power than is let on.

NEW INFORMATION JUST DROPPED I have just been made aware of the actual parallel between Malcom and the dad possibly being Dennis and Frank.

(season 16 episode 8) Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!

Dennis takes a mental health day. Some people really hated this episode but I really liked it. Mac is putting coal in a pressure cooker to make diamonds. Dennis rips the CEO's (who is wearing a Hawaiian shirt like we've seen Mac wear) heart out, and squeezes it so hard it turns into a diamond and he eats it. This is a direct parallel to the nightman cometh where he also rips Macs heart out.

*edit to add* The director of this episode (who did not write the ep but still was involved in its creation obviously) Heath Cullens, in a reddit QA when asked if this was a nod to dayman replied "Nope. I think pretty much a coincidence." which I think is a total missed opportunity tbh.

This was all in Dennis' mind, and it seems to me that the Mac "situation" has left him with a sense of powerlessness. He feels isolated, trapped in an endless nightmare of his own creation, and he has nobody he can count on to help him, there's nobody he can rely on, he can only trust himself. Compressing the coal into a diamond represents Dennis molding everything to be exactly as he wishes, and by swallowing it he reclaims absolute control.

Always sunny book- : the 7 secrets of awakening the highly effective four-hour giant, today

"Mac for instance is also a 3 in ugly, so even if this exercise we're going to try fails, you'll have some company at your ugly parties. For the record, on the ugly scale charlie is a five, frank is a six, and Dee is a nine." - Dennis

[twig-tea]

Why We Are Gives Me Anxiety

I have been fighting myself on this We Are post for weeks because I wanted to make sure I knew what I wanted to say and was able to say it. I feel the need to say off the top that I don’t begrudge anyone who enjoyed this show and I’m genuinely glad it brought comfort to people. The show in and of itself, as 16 hour-long episodes of fluff (shout-out to @stuffnonsenseandotherthings for using this word to pinpoint the genre for this show, because it’s perfect), is not offensive or bad or wrong or any judgmental or moralistic word. And it does some things well; the centrality of the friend group was a lovely aspect to this show, and the chemistry in the friendship group scenes was on point. All of the couples have good romantic chemistry as well, and the show is packed with butterflies-inducing moments. 

That being said, I did not enjoy watching this show. I watch television mostly for the story; This show felt more like watching 16 special episodes for a show I hadn’t seen (I think this can be attributed to the point made by @italianpersonwithashippersheart in her post here that the show assumes the audience comes to the show with a pre-existing buy-in to the ships). The lack of overarching narrative structure of We Are gave my brain nothing to hold onto and I spent so much of every episode futilely trying to figure out how scenes worked with what had come before, what the show was trying to say, what these characters were thinking–all of which I knew was the wrong way to be watching, but it’s the way my brain works, so I spent a lot of the show frustrated. In short, this show wasn’t for me. 

But that’s not why I feel the need to write about it. Shows are fully allowed to not be for me, I usually can differentiate between when a show is doing something I don’t like well, or when it’s failing at its own goals. And I don’t begrudge people with different taste getting catered to sometimes; my refrain is that most problems of representation are not solved by calling for less of something, and rather than wanting something not to be made, I’d rather champion for more and a greater variety of content. And lord knows there’s enough BL to go around these days (shouting out @respectthepetty’s post along these lines, which I loved) . But We Are still worries me, and I’ve been trying to find a way to articulate that my concerns are not actually about the show itself, in isolation, but rather about how it feels like part of a pattern. This is my best attempt at laying that out. It’s going to get a little ramble-y, so apologies in advance.

Shout-out to @bengiyo who first articulated this anxiety in his post from relatively early in the show’s run . Ben gets into some of where I’m coming from with concerns about what this show means for the genre in this post, which as he mentions we've chatted about in DMs. I’m really grateful to him for these conversations because in isolation, I worried that I was being alarmist. It was helpful to have confirmation that he was feeling the same way so that I could get out of my own head.  

Ben mentions in his post that New Siwaj has been in this business a long time, and I, like Ben, have jived with him for years because he manages to imbue queer angst into his shows in a way that resonates with me, even when he’s had missteps. I'm going to lay out some of the major highlights of his work for those who haven't followed New for years.

He was an editor on Love Sick, arguably the start of the Thai BL genre as we know it today, and a show full to the brim of queer angst. He directed Make It Right, one of my favourite Thai BL comedy series. This show was also an ensemble centered around a friendship group (though admittedly it didn’t balance the friendship and romance content as strongly as We Are), and it covers so many topics that felt refreshing at the time and still are rare (morning-after sex visits to the clinic because things went poorly, hooking up on the apps, sex acts beyond just penetration, suicidality, I could go on). He also was involved in the GMMTV Waterboyy series–this was his first work for GMMTV that I am aware of. That show had a lot of issues but did explore internalized homophobia and bullying.

He worked as a cinematographer on En of Love, which is again similar to We Are in that it has several couples connected by a friendship group (and is several novels in one series), but each couple was given its own miniseries instead of bundling them into one show. En of Love also still dealt with some serious queer angst, especially in the Love Mechanics story [Sidenote, Niink, the director for En of Love, stuck with New and moved on to work for Wabi Sabi].

At this point, New created his own company, Studio Wabi Sabi, which he's said in interviews was to gain more creative control over what he was working on. And his stories became arguably even more explicitly queer and inclusive of queer trauma. He screenwrote and produced Love By Chance (which folks may not remember or know, but that core story starts off with Pete being blackmailed for being gay until Ae convinces him to come out to his mother and shut down the leverage for blackmail, and a good chunk of Pete’s character arc is unlearning internalized homophobia and not seeing himself as ‘corrupting’ Ae) and then Until We Meet Again. The queer angst in UWMA probably doesn’t need my help spelling out, but just in case anyone doesn’t know the summary, this show was about a queer couple who committed suicide in the face of homophobia in the 1980s, and were reborn and given another chance to be together in present day. I did want to note that in both of these series (LBC and UWMA) the core romance itself has no major conflicts; both AePete and DeanPharm felt like they were intentionally side-stepping so many of the usual BL drama tropes of jealousy and misunderstandings through trust and communication. Dean and Pharm’s story took that even further by having so many of the usual drama pitfalls for a gay couple just not be a problem; their only drama comes from their past lives, in a beautiful exploration of the breaking of intergenerational trauma. So many external threats to their relationship ended up being non-starters, and this was my version of a comfort series for that reason. 

From there, New started working with GMMTV again, and directed My Gear and Your Gown. This series was, to my knowledge, the first GMMTV BL series to mention HIV and to show characters getting tested at the clinic, and while it wasn’t perfect representation (didn’t get into PrEP, treated HIV as a death sentence), it felt like an important milestone.

[I’m skipping the sequels and specials he did for series I already talked about, because they don’t feel that important to the story I’m telling here and this is already so long, but I wanted to acknowledge that I’m not covering everything in his oeuvre.]

He then directed 7 Project, which had some serious storylines dealing with bullying and struggling with life in the closet, out of Wabi Sabi, and then Star and Sky out of GMMTV. Star in My Mind included one of the main characters in a beard relationship for years, and some controversy over the adaptation choices to make Daonuea (Dunk’s character) less polite than in the books. There was drama around the pronouns and characterization in that show (both Daonuea and Khabkluen use guu/mueng in the series, but in the novel, Daonuea uses rao; he also curses in the series and novel fans complained that he was too ‘masculine’). I thought it was an interesting attempt at a departure from BL character tropes to try to make Daonuea more evenly matched with Khabkluen in terms of his gender presentation in the show. Sky in Your Heart also included some angst about whether people of a particular station could be gay. Both of these shows (SIMM and SIYH) were also very trope-y, but they had clear throughlines. 

My Only 12%, the next show New directed out of Wabi Sabi, contains one of my favourite moments in all of BL, in which Seeiw sees Love of Siam and cries because it makes him realize he’s gay. There’s this heartfelt moment where he asks his sister, if there’s nothing wrong with being gay, why doesn’t the film let the gay characters have a happy ending? Despite the weird PSA ending, this show remains one of my favourites.

This is an aside but I’ve long been fascinated about this moment in New’s history: he played himself in War of Y, as a director of BL who is sick of being forced to make BL shows full of fanservice; he treats the actors with disdain and cuts marketable high heat scenes from the show which makes everyone nervous for the show’s future. Later we see him and the actor characters on set for My Only 12%, much happier. I ask myself about this moment at least once a week: Did he write this self-insert? Did someone else write the character and he just played it, and the similarities to his style were (were not?) a coincidence? I hope someone knows and tells me one day,

From there, New functioned as an Executive Producer of Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul [I think this was the first outsourced project by Wabi Sabi]. This series’ entire plot is a metaphor for living in the closet and waiting for the time when the main couple can be together fully without having to hide. 

He directed A Boss and a Babe for GMMTV (which had its problems for sure, but also had Cher as an out gay man at the workplace dealing with casual homophobia in a way that was extremely satisfying), and then Between Us, which is maybe the least queer feeling show Wabi Sabi produced on its own, but did go into the issues of dating and the closet while trying to become a star (if I’ve forgotten something from this show let me know, I only watched it the once). One of the things that was so strange about this show was it being a sequel to UWMA but not engaging with the same themes. The only mention of real world queerness I can remember was the acknowledgment that they can’t get married in Thailand and Dean and Pharm discussing again going abroad and getting married there. 

Absolute Zero was a complete mess of a show; New directed this one for Wabi Sabi, and it has some similarities to UWMA in the sense of there being an attempt at saving the gays from the bury your gays trope, this time via time loop rather than reincarnation, but it did not take the issues it raised seriously enough (including the age gap created between the two characters by virtue of time travel). 

And that leads us to We Are for GMMTV, which as Pluem (@happypotato48)  wrote in his excellent post about this, includes Toey using nu and other 'feminine' or 'youthful' sounding language, but also apparently dropped the main conflict of the novel between Phum and his father (because his father disapproved of Peem).

Why did I go through all of that? Because I wanted to lay out how I've watched New Siwaj’s career go from finding a way to tell incredibly poignant and healing queer narratives (by creating his own company, and fitting these moments into the GMMTV series he did work on) to stripping out queerness from the shows he’s creating in the last year or so.

And this is a pattern we’re seeing more widely at GMMTV in particular, but also in Thai QL more widely. This is something that was touched on but not really discussed in the most recent episode of The Conversation podcast (the 23.5 and only boo! episode here). In both 23.5 and Only Boo!, the show faked out a homophobic parent and then treated their kids like they were silly to assume the worst, and I hated that.

Both Ongsa and Kang had internalized homophobia in their respective series. Both were terrified of telling their mothers about their homosexual love interest. And in both cases, their mothers told them something along the lines of 'of course I will support you no matter what'. In Ongsa's case, even though she was outed by Sun without her consent, she's the one who ends up apologizing for her hesitancy and feeling foolish for her concern. In Kang's case, the show never challenges his mother's assertion that she'll always support him even though we know she hasn’t (she was the one who wanted to prevent him from studying art before his father died), and it’s the audience that was left feeling foolish for our concern. 

In the GMMTV round table for Pride Month, it was mentioned that the decision for Ongsa's mother to be accepting of her relationship with Sun was made in order to model good parental behaviour for the older generation in the audience. In the novel, Ongsa's mother presents a significant conflict, but this conflict was erased from the show. I don't know if the same decision was made in Only Boo! for the same reason or not, but either way, the show definitely signalled to Kang's mother having an issue with Kang's relationship with Moo, and then said "sike", which I did not enjoy. The Conversation panelists were correct in the conversation linked and transcribed above that this wasn't the most egregious misstep either show made, but it feels like a telling symptom of the larger overall narrative problems that New is also now succumbing to.

It seems as though telling stories stripped of queer conflict is being seen as progressive, and possibly also easier to sell, and this is where my anxiety lies around what this will mean for Thai QL content in future. 

For the record, I am all for creating queer content in which we envision a better world for ourselves. But when that is the goal, understanding where internalized homophobia comes from and thinking through how removing parental objection will affect the character and the story is vital to the story and characterization remaining coherent. Otherwise it just ends up feeling like the show is telling queer kids that they're paranoid, rather than rightly worried (like I wrote about in this thread on My Love Mix-Up Thailand, where the same decision was made again to fake out a homophobic subplot that was removed from the adaptation but was present in the source material).

These choices speak to adaptation choices with an eye for specific moments and story points, rather than to a narrative or character arc, which is where it feels like they fall into the wider pattern of what @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup and @ginnymoonbeam were describing in their discussion: shows caring more about hitting specific meme-able story points listed out on a whiteboard than about making cohesive sense or having something coherent to say. 

[So as not to leave it out: I don’t think there were concerns of homophobia in the Wandee Goodday novel (novel readers feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about this) but the show faked us out about homophobia concerns anyway, which again really bothered me during that watch and which adds to the pattern.] 

Now, of course, as I stated up at the top there is value in the creation of different kinds of media. These shows sell different fantasies than the ones I want to see, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have value.All of BL has some amount of fantasy that it’s buying into, that’s what comes with the territory of ‘fiction’. The BL bubble (in which homophobia doesn’t exist and all men are gay for each other) is a version that is at its most extreme; nothing bad ever happens that isn’t quickly resolved within an episode, so there is never narrative tension, and nobody really needs to be that concerned about how anything will go ever. I do not find these relaxing because I can’t buy into the fantasy they’re selling; for me, the lack of narrative tension is so unbelievable as to ruin my immersion. But I can see why that would be appealing for someone whose brain is not always on alert and running at 11/10! The problem I am anticipating is when the majority of content is made that way, and when it is done in a way that takes up all of the mainstream space. I think it’s notable that the only show that’s really felt not in the queer bubble from GMMTV in 2024 is Cooking Crush, which was done by a subsidiary team within GMMTV (and the same team went on to make Only Boo!). And this is why We Are caught my attention and made me nervous; When a director who is known for his representation of poignant queer angst makes an entire 16-hour series in which there are no significant conflicts at all and the only hint of homophobia is in Toey’s reference to being bullied prior to the timeframe of the series, I get worried about who is going to be making the queer angst shows in future!  

For the record, my personal preference for comfort shows are the shows that do not pretend the world is perfect, but do depict an idealized subset of that world→where there’s a group of people that support one another through the bullshit of others and the less than perfect world that surrounds them. Shows that teach us to be kind to one another, and ourselves. Shows that say the world is going to suck sometimes, but we can be good to one another, and not lose sight of who we are, and make space for others to be themselves. A few of my favourite Thai series that do this would be: 

Bad Buddy

Cooking Crush

City of Stars

Knock Knock Boys

Miracle of Teddy Bear

My Only 12%

Secret Crush on You

To Sir With Love

Until We Meet Again

(and of course these occur in non-Thai shows as well. A few examples of my favourites: What Did You Eat Yesterday, DNA Says Love You, Light on Me, Oppan, Marahuyo Project, TsukuTabe, Tadaima Okaeri, Koisenu Futari, Joshi-teki Seikatsu, Gameboys, Hehe and He, Twilight out of Focus, She Makes My Heart Flutter)

These are shows in which there are explicitly external judgments on the relationships in the show and/or the characters for things intrinsic to who they are, and the characters build a support structure in which folks are encouraged to be themselves within that ‘bubble’ (Bad Buddy walks a fine line because it’s within the BL bubble but the problems that the main couple face are so a direct allegory that everything feels familiar; this is also the case with Tadaima Okaeri, which is both omegaverse and one of the most beautifully kind shows of all time). 

So for now, I still have the other smaller Thai studios including Kongthup Productions (who made Knock Knock Boys; we’ll see whether their latest series Monster Next Door deals with any queer angst or not), idolFactory (just finished My Marvellous Dream is You, which had a ton of queer angst, and is currently doing The Loyal Pin, which I have hope for on this front), DeeHup (currently making I Saw You In My Dream, which I’m holding out hope for) and StarHunter Entertainment (who made City of Stars, but whose record is a little spotty on this front; Their latest, Sunset Vibes, has not done a great job of handling the theme of office relationships and blackmail so far, and feels very much in the bubble) to look forward to. 

But as you can see even just by virtue of the caveats I included above, it feels like this shift is happening in the smaller companies too (harder to see a real pattern with fewer data points, which is one of the reasons why I picked on GMMTV–in addition to it being the largest media conglomerate in Thailand and therefore able to take it). Maybe it’s nothing, maybe I’m just an anxious person. Or maybe I’m just wrong about what would be best for the genre and for queer people in Thailand as well as viewers all over the world. But I, for one, would find it a loss if Thai QL decides en masse to pivot away from queer angst, and right now it kind of feels like that’s what it’s doing. In this context, to reiterate my original point, the existence of We Are is not a problem, but is one in a set of exemplars that raised specific alarm bells due to the people involved and their history in QL and queer representation, its deviation from the source material, and the surrounding shows that seem to indicate a pattern rather than a one-off. 

[icedbatik]

I saw this opinion piece in the New York Times and, while I don't normally copy and paste entire newspaper articles, this is an excellent (if scary) read.

Aside from the sections on how much lack of consent there is in today's sexual landscape, hockey fans -- who should be well aware of the dangers of concussions -- might take particular note of the section in which "choking" during sex is linked to brain damage on par with concussion damage.

The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex

April 12, 2024

By Peggy Orenstein

Debby Herbenick is one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior. The director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of the pointedly titled book “Yes, Your Kid,” she usually shares her data, no matter how explicit, without judgment. So I was surprised by how concerned she seemed when we checked in on Zoom recently: “I haven’t often felt so strongly about getting research out there,” she told me. “But this is lifesaving.”

For the past four years, Dr. Herbenick has been tracking the rapid rise of “rough sex” among college students, particularly sexual strangulation, or what is colloquially referred to as choking. Nearly two-thirds of women in her most recent campus-representative survey of 5,000 students at an anonymized “major Midwestern university” said a partner had choked them during sex (one-third in their most recent encounter). The rate of those women who said they were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time that happened had shot up to 40 percent from one in four.

As someone who’s been writing for well over a decade about young people’s attitudes and early experience with sex in all its forms, I’d also begun clocking this phenomenon. I was initially startled in early 2020 when, during a post-talk Q. and A. at an independent high school, a 16-year-old girl asked, “How come boys all want to choke you?” In a different class, a 15-year-old boy wanted to know, “Why do girls all want to be choked?” They do? Not long after, a college sophomore (and longtime interview subject) contacted me after her roommate came home in tears because a hookup partner, without warning, had put both hands on her throat and squeezed.

I started to ask more, and the stories piled up. Another sophomore confided that she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be “properly educated” — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea. (Note: There is no safe way to strangle someone.) A male freshman said “girls expected” to be choked and, even though he didn’t want to do it, refusing would make him seem like a “simp.” And a senior in high school was angry that her friends called her “vanilla” when she complained that her boyfriend had choked her.

Sexual strangulation, nearly always of women in heterosexual pornography, has long been a staple on free sites, those default sources of sex ed for teens. As with anything else, repeat exposure can render the once appalling appealing. It’s not uncommon for behaviors to be normalized in porn, move within a few years to mainstream media, then, in what may become a feedback loop, be adopted in the bedroom or the dorm room.

Choking, Dr. Herbenick said, seems to have made that first leap in a 2008 episode of Showtime’s “Californication,” where it was still depicted as outré, then accelerated after the success of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” By 2019, when a high school girl was choked in the pilot of HBO’s “Euphoria,” it was standard fare. A young woman was choked in the opener of “The Idol” (again on HBO and also, like “Euphoria,” created by Sam Levinson; what’s with him?). Ali Wong plays the proclivity for laughs in a Netflix special, and it’s a punchline in Tina Fey’s new “Mean Girls.” The chorus of Jack Harlow’s “Lovin On Me,” which topped Billboard’s Hot 100 chart for six nonconsecutive weeks this winter and has been viewed over 99 million times on YouTube, starts with, “I’m vanilla, baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.” How-to articles abound on the internet, and social media algorithms feed young people (but typically not their unsuspecting parents) hundreds of #chokemedaddy memes along with memes that mock — even celebrate — the potential for hurting or killing female partners.

I’m not here to kink-shame (or anything-shame). And, anyway, many experienced BDSM practitioners discourage choking, believing it to be too dangerous. There are still relatively few studies on the subject, and most have been done by Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues. Reports among adolescents are now trickling out from the United Kingdom, Australia, Iceland, New Zealand and Italy.

Twenty years ago, sexual asphyxiation appears to have been unusual among any demographic, let alone young people who were new to sex and iffy at communication. That’s changed radically in a short time, with health consequences that parents, educators, medical professionals, sexual consent advocates and teens themselves urgently need to understand.

Sexual trends can spread quickly on campus and, to an extent, in every direction. But, at least among straight kids, I’ve sometimes noticed a pattern: Those that involve basic physical gratification — like receiving oral sex in hookups — tend to favor men. Those that might entail pain or submission, like choking, are generally more for women.

So, while undergrads of all genders and sexualities in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys report both choking and being choked, straight and bisexual young women are far more likely to have been the subjects of the behavior; the gap widens with greater occurrences. (In a separate study, Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues found the behavior repeated across the United States, particularly for adults under 40, and not just among college students.) Alcohol may well be involved, and while the act is often engaged in with a steady partner, a quarter of young women said partners they’d had sex with on the day they’d met also choked them.

Either way, most say that their partners never or only sometimes asked before grabbing their necks. For many, there had been moments when they couldn’t breathe or speak, compromising the ability to withdraw consent, if they’d given it. No wonder that, in a separate study by Dr. Herbenick, choking was among the most frequently listed sex acts young women said had scared them, reporting that it sometimes made them worry whether they’d survive.

Among girls and women I’ve spoken with, many did not want or like to be sexually strangled, though in an otherwise desired encounter they didn’t name it as assault. Still, a sizable number were enthusiastic; they requested it. It is exciting to feel so vulnerable, a college junior explained. The power dynamic turns her on; oxygen deprivation to the brain can trigger euphoria.

That same young woman, incidentally, had never climaxed with a partner: While the prevalence of choking has skyrocketed, rates of orgasm among young women have not increased, nor has the “orgasm gap” disappeared among heterosexual couples. “It indicates they’re not doing other things to enhance female arousal or pleasure,” Dr. Herbenick said.

When, for instance, she asked one male student who said he choked his partner whether he’d ever tried using a vibrator instead, he recoiled. “Why would I do that?” he asked.

Perhaps, she responded, because it would be more likely to produce orgasm without risking, you know, death.

In my interviews, college students have seen male orgasm as a given; women’s is nice if it happens, but certainly not expected or necessarily prioritized (by either partner). It makes sense, then, that fulfillment would be less the motivator for choking than appearing adventurous or kinky. Such performances don’t always feel good.

“Personally, my hypothesis is that this is one of the reasons young people are delaying or having less sex,” Dr. Herbenick said. “Because it’s uncomfortable and weird and scary. At times some of them literally think someone is assaulting them but they don’t know. Those are the only sexual experiences for some people. And it’s not just once they’ve gotten naked. They’ll say things like, ‘I’ve only tried to make out with someone once because he started choking and hitting me.’”

Keisuke Kawata, a neuroscientist at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, was one of the first researchers to sound the alarm on how the cumulative, seemingly inconsequential, sub-concussive hits football players sustain (as opposed to the occasional hard blow) were key to triggering C.T.E., the degenerative brain disease. He’s a good judge of serious threats to the brain. In response to Dr. Herbenick’s work, he’s turning his attention to sexual strangulation. “I see a similarity” to C.T.E., he told me, “though the mechanism of injury is very different.” In this case, it is oxygen-blocking pressure to the throat, frequently in light, repeated bursts of a few seconds each.

Strangulation — sexual or otherwise — often leaves few visible marks and can be easily overlooked as a cause of death. Those whose experiences are nonlethal rarely seek medical attention, because any injuries seem minor: Young women Dr. Herbenick studied mostly reported lightheadedness, headaches, neck pain, temporary loss of coordination and ear ringing. The symptoms resolve, and all seems well. But, as with those N.F.L. players, the true effects are silent, potentially not showing up for days, weeks, even years.

According to the American Academy of Neurology, restricting blood flow to the brain, even briefly, can cause permanent injury, including stroke and cognitive impairment. In M.R.I.s conducted by Dr. Kawata and his colleagues (including Dr. Herbenick, who is a co-author of his papers on strangulation), undergraduate women who have been repeatedly choked show a reduction in cortical folding in the brain compared with a never-choked control group. They also showed widespread cortical thickening, an inflammation response that is associated with elevated risk of later-onset mental illness. In completing simple memory tasks, their brains had to work far harder than the control group, recruiting from more regions to achieve the same level of accuracy.

The hemispheres in the choked group’s brains, too, were badly skewed, with the right side hyperactive and the left underperforming. A similar imbalance is associated with mood disorders — and indeed in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys girls and women who had been choked were more likely than others (or choked men) to have experienced overwhelming anxiety, as well as sadness and loneliness, with the effect more pronounced as the incidence rose: Women who had experienced more than five instances of choking were two and a half times as likely as those who had never been choked to say they had been so depressed within the previous 30 days they couldn’t function. Whether girls and women with mental health challenges are more likely to seek out (or be subjected to) choking, choking causes mood disorders, or some combination of the two is still unclear. But hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation — judging by what research has shown about other types of traumatic brain injury — could be a contributing factor. Given the soaring rates of depression and anxiety among young women, that warrants concern.

Now consider that every year Dr. Herbenick has done her survey, the number of females reporting extreme effects from strangulation (neck swelling, loss of consciousness, losing control of urinary function) has crept up. Among those who’ve been choked, the rate of becoming what students call “cloudy” — close to passing out, but not crossing the line — is now one in five, a huge proportion. All of this indicates partners are pressing on necks longer and harder.

The physical, cognitive and psychological impacts of sexual choking are disturbing. So is the idea that at a time when women’s social, economic, educational and political power are in ascent (even if some of those rights may be in jeopardy), when #MeToo has made progress against harassment and assault, there has been the popularization of a sex act that can damage our brains, impair intellectual functioning, undermine mental health, even kill us. Nonfatal strangulation, one of the most significant indicators that a man will murder his female partner (strangulation is also one of the most common methods used for doing so), has somehow been eroticized and made consensual, at least consensual enough. Yet, the outcomes are largely the same: Women’s brains and bodies don���t distinguish whether they are being harmed out of hate or out of love.

By now I’m guessing that parents are curled under their chairs in a fetal position. Or perhaps thinking, “No, not my kid!” (see: title of Dr. Herbenick’s book above, which, by the way, contains an entire chapter on how to talk to your teen about “rough sex”).

I get it. It’s scary stuff. Dr. Herbenick is worried; I am, too. And we are hardly some anti-sex, wait-till-marriage crusaders. But I don’t think our only option is to wring our hands over what young people are doing.

Parents should take a beat and consider how they might give their children relevant information in a way that they can hear it. Maybe reiterate that they want them to have a pleasurable sex life — you have already said that, right? — and also want them to be safe. Tell them that misinformation about certain practices, including choking, is rampant, that in reality it has grave health consequences. Plus, whether or not a partner initially requested it, if things go wrong, you’re generally criminally on the hook.

Dr. Herbenick suggests reminding them that there are other, lower-risk ways to be exploratory or adventurous if that is what they are after, but it would be wisest to delay any “rough sex” until they are older and more skilled at communicating. She offers language when negotiating with a new partner, such as, “By the way, I’m not comfortable with” — choking, or other escalating behaviors such as name-calling, spitting and genital slapping — “so please don’t do it/don’t ask me to do it to you.” They could also add what they are into and want to do together.

I’d like to point high school health teachers to evidence-based porn literacy curricula, but I realize that incorporating such lessons into their classrooms could cost them their jobs. Shafia Zaloom, a lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, recommends, if that’s the case, grounding discussions in mainstream and social media. There are plenty of opportunities. “You can use it to deconstruct gender norms, power dynamics in relationships, ‘performative’ trends that don’t represent most people’s healthy behaviors,” she said, “especially depictions of people putting pressure on someone’s neck or chest.”

I also know that pediatricians, like other adults, struggle when talking to adolescents about sex (the typical conversation, if it happens, lasts 40 seconds). Then again, they already caution younger children to use a helmet when they ride a bike (because heads and necks are delicate!); they can mention that teens might hear about things people do in sexual situations, including choking, then explain the impact on brain health and why such behavior is best avoided. They should emphasize that if, for any reason — a fall, a sports mishap or anything else — a young person develops symptoms of head trauma, they should come in immediately, no judgment, for help in healing.

The role and responsibility of the entertainment industry is a tangled knot: Media reflects behavior but also drives it, either expanding possibilities or increasing risks. There is precedent for accountability. The European Union now requires age verification on the world’s largest porn sites (in ways that preserve user privacy, whatever that means on the internet); that discussion, unsurprisingly, had been politicized here. Social media platforms have already been pushed to ban content promoting eating disorders, self-harm and suicide — they should likewise be pressured to ban content promoting choking. Traditional formats can stop glamorizing strangulation, making light of it, spreading false information, using it to signal female characters’ complexity or sexual awakening. Young people’s sexual scripts are shaped by what they watch, scroll by and listen to — unprecedentedly so. They deserve, and desperately need, models of interactions that are respectful, communicative, mutual and, at the very least, safe.

Peggy Orenstein is the author of “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent and Navigating the New Masculinity” and “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.”

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Why are so many Californians homeless?

12% of Americans live in California — but 30% of homeless Americans, and 50% of unsheltered Americans, call California “home.” This is the source of endless schadenfreude from “red state” partisans, and is often waved as proof of the failure of liberal policies. But the real story is both more complicated — and simpler.

UCSF’s Benioff Homelessness and Housing Initiative’s “California Statewide Study of People Experiencing Homelessness” is the largest, best study of homelessness in California in some 30 years:

https://homelessness.ucsf.edu/our-impact/our-studies/california-statewide-study-people-experiencing-homelessness

Between Oct 2021 and Nov 2022, researchers surveyed a representative sample of 3,198 people, and conducted in-depth interviews with 365 more. They concluded that, contrary to popular folk-stories about “homeless migration” by out-of-staters seeking an easy life on California’s streets, “people experiencing homelessness in California are Californian.” Nine tenths of respondents were already living in California when they lost their housing.

It’s also not true that homeless people move to LA or San Francisco from out of town: three quarters of participants live in the same county they were living in when they lost their homes.

So California’s unsheltered and homeless people are Californians. They’re our neighbors. They are disproportionately racialized — 26% are Black, 12% are First Nations, and 35% are Latino. They are older: their median age is 47. They’ve been homeless for a long, long time: the median duration of homelessness is 22 months, and 36% of respondents were “chronically homeless.”

They are survivors of violence: 72% of them have experienced violent assaults in their lives; 24% have experienced sexual violence (that number goes up to 43% for cis women, and 74% for trans and nonbinary people).

They’re sick. 60% have a chronic illness. More than a third have some health condition that limits their daily living. 22% have a mobility limitation.

They’re also pregnant. A quarter of the participants who were assigned female at birth had been pregnant during their current episode of homelessness.

66% are experiencing mental illness. 48% have serious depression, 51% have anxiety, 37% have trouble concentrating, and 12% experience hallucinations.

Only 9% have received any mental health counseling.

They take drugs — but at fairly low levels. 31% take meth regularly. 11% take opioids. 16% binge drink.

They are in trouble with the law and also at risk of being victims of criminal violence. A third have been to jail at least once during their current homeless episode. 38% have been assaulted while homeless (10% of homeless people surveyed experienced sexual violence).

So how did they end up homeless? It’s depressingly easy.

It starts with getting evicted. For leaseholders in the survey, the median amount of notice they had that they would lose their homes is ten days. For non-leaseholders, the median amount of notice was less than one day.

Homeless people are poor before they become homeless. Many people’s last home was a “non-leaseholder” arrangement — they were people who lost their rented homes and moved in with family or friends. For these people, the median wage in the six months before they lost their homes was $950/month. While 43% of non-leaseholders weren’t paying any rent, the remainder were paying a median rent of $450/month. Non-leaseholders have no legal rights, and often lived in “substandard and overcrowded conditions.”

For leaseholders, the median monthly income before losing their homes was $1400/month — but their median rent was $700/month.

When a leaseholder loses their home, the cause is usually economic — they can’t afford the rent. When a non-leaseholder loses their home, the cause is usually social — a conflict within the home or “not wanting to impose.”

People about to lose their homes turn to family and friends for help, but not for-profit or government agencies devoted to helping people in their situation. 70% of survey respondents believed they could have avoided homeless with a one-time cash payment of $5,000-$10,000. 90% say a Housing Choice Voucher would have kept them from becoming homeless.

20% of people who become homeless say it was because they lost some or all of their income — often because their car broke down or got towed and they could no longer get to work. Once homeless, most survey respondents seek work — but are unable to find it, due to age, lack of transportation, disability and lack of housing.

What can we do about this? 90% of respondents say the biggest barrier to finding a home is housing costs. Half say their bad credit makes it even harder to find a rental, while a third say their criminal records also get in the way. Half also say that all the affordable housing is unsafe, or too far from their communities or care providers.

The authors have a suite of policy recommendations. For starters, we can increase homelessness prevention by giving financial support and legal aid to people facing eviction. These can be offered at “service settings” like domestic violence services, and at “institutional exits” from jail and prison. We can also make it harder to evict people.

We can expand “low barrier” access to mental heath and addiction care. We can offer training and transportation support to people in precarious economic situations, as well as help in navigating the process to get benefits.

We can offer more services to people in unsheltered settings, and embrace a racial equity approach that recognizes the racialized nature of homelessness.

And finally: we can increase the availability of housing vouchers, and the stock of affordable housing.

This last one is long overdue. America treats housing as an asset rather than a human right, creating a world of haves and have-nots. The haves are dedicated to increasing the value of their assets by restricting the supply, and by reducing the protections offered to tenants (the more a landlord can extract from tenants, the more all houses are worth, because every time one goes up for sale the bidding includes landlords who are factoring in their ability to milk flush tenants and evict broke ones):

https://gen.medium.com/the-rents-too-damned-high-520f958d5ec5

In California, the meager supply of low-income housing has been gobbled up by Airbnb, and also by unscrupulous landlords who illegally convert their low-income housing into boutique hotels, with no fear of punishment from toothless, gutless enforcers:

https://www.propublica.org/article/how-la-failed-stop-landlords-turning-low-cost-housing-hotels

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/12/because-its-too-expensive/#rents-too-damned-high

[Image ID: A homeless person's tent under a freeway underpass. From it emerges the bear from the California state flag.]

Image: Wonderlane (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/71401718@N00/34328251571

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[mxssingmemories]

brave // sam and dean x sister!reader

summary: you've been battling a secret addiction for months. when your brothers finally notice, they do their best to get you through it.

wc: 2k~

warnings: weed, angsty shit, withdrawal, drug use

a/n: this was written for the one and only @supernerdycookietrashblrr! hope ya like it, sorry it took so long

You knew that one of your brothers would catch on soon enough. They were both incredibly observant thanks to years of being in the hunting business, so it didn't surprise you when Sam caught on after only a month.

He'd noticed little things first. You stopped bringing home papers or report cards with big fat A's written on the front in red ink. Then came the attitude.

You're a sweet teenager, or at least you were. At 16, Sam knew you might be prone to episodes of attitude or teenage rebellion. What he wasn't prepared for was the constant snarky attitude, and, for lack of a better word, downright bitchy behavior. He genuinely had no idea what to do, and it steadily got worse as he put off having the conversation he knew he had to have with you. 

The turning point for him came when your appearance changed drastically. Your eyes were bloodshot almost every time he looked at you, and your shaky hands were obvious as you tried to hold your gun steady. Your safety on hunts-and possibly in daily life-was obviously at risk, and he wasn't going to leave that alone.

"Jesus, Dean! How can you not see it? She's fucking shaking! Her eyes are always bloodshot and she's got the attitude of a drug addict!" he shouted, the volume of it making the sound travel to your room. Your heart beat faster in your chest as you tried to ignore it, putting headphones in your ears as you blinked away the stray tears in your eyes. 

With a sigh, you pulled a joint out from the container under your bed. Your hand finally grabbed a lighter after fumbling for one for what felt like an hour. You flicked the lighter open, watching the flame dance for a minute before bringing it to the tip of the joint. 

A loud cough was forced out of you as you inhaled deeply, the smoke temporarily filling your lungs as you allowed yourself to zone out. You continued this process until the joint was almost gone, the lines of reality blurring sweetly as you allowed yourself to feel. You were pleasantly distracted, seemingly watching everything from third person.

You were so out of it, though, that you missed the knock at the door. You also missed the more frantic ones after thirty seconds, and the door slamming open. Unfortunately, you didn't miss Sam's loud yell.

"What the fuck?!" he shouted, watching you as you immediately threw the lit joint and headphones on the floor.

Angrily, he stomped it out, walking closer to you as fast as humanly possible.

"I fucking knew something was wrong. What the hell, kid? Why didn't you tell us sooner! We could've caught this shit early! You can't just sit here and get high on God knows what!" he practically screamed in your face. You sat there silently and took it, allowing him to get whatever he needed to say out before you explained yourself. To your credit, thinking was a little hard-you were still high, although thankfully not as much as you were before he walked into the room. The minute he stopped talking, you began.

"You don't get it." you said quietly, teary eyes making contact with fierce ones. "I've tried everything I could. You think I'd want to talk to you about it? Sam, you and Dean are on the road almost every day. I only come on half of the hunts you guys go on, and when I do, I'm usually put to the side like I mean nothing! Do you know how that feels? I know you guys love me but you're shit at showing it!"

"Listen-" Sam started, but you immediately cut him off.

"No! I can't just sit here and listen anymore! I can't even stand being sober! You know I'm high on almost every hunt we go on, right? Did you even notice that?"

At these words, your brother's eyes widened in shock. You knew he probably didn't, but after walking in on you with a joint to your lips you thought he would assume so. It didn't make it hurt any less, either.

"Why do you even care?" you muttered, a sob coming through on your last word. It all hit you in that moment; your brother, who you worked so hard to hide it from, had caught you with a joint in your hand. He didn't even just catch you high, he caught you in the process of doing it. You curled in on yourself almost immediately, not wanting to be more vulnerable than you already were. Your whole body shook as you involuntarily let go.

"Dammit," your brother mumbled as he sat down softly on the bed, hoisting you into his lap as he cradled you in his chest. You were still his little sister no matter what. At that moment, you went from 17 to 7 in his mind, and he let his instincts take over.

You sobbed into his chest quietly as he rocked you back and forth, his hands rubbing your back softly while he reassured you. You let yourself break in that room, your brother's steady arms around you letting you feel safe for the first time in months.

This feeling was disturbed in less than 5 seconds when Dean walked in the room.

He made eye contact with Sam quickly to asses the situation, briefly trying to read his face before giving up and scanning the room. His eyes almost immediately landed on the joint laying on the floor. Dean's jaw clenched the moment he saw it, the look in his eyes turning from concerned to deadly in just a few seconds. 

He picked it up quickly, turning his gaze back to you. The disappointment in his eyes was obvious as he walked over to you both.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he growled, voice strong with frustration. 

You sobbed even harder in Sam's arms, the weight of everything coming down onto your shoulders all at once. The realization of how much you'd hurt yourself and your brothers wasted over you, causing you to curl in on yourself even further.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," you choked out in between sobs, clutching the fabric of your brother's shirt like a lifeline. Dean's face softened ever so slightly as he came to your side, kneeling down in front of you. His voice was gentler than before as you did your best to meet his eyes.

"I know what you're going through, kid. You just have to understand we're here for you, yeah? We're gonna get you help." he reassured, placing a hand on your arm. You instinctively flinched back, tucking your head back into Sam's chest. You missed the look of hurt on Dean's face, his own eyes welling up with tears as he started to process the situation.

Sam signaled for Dean to leave the room for a minute, allowing him to get you in a suitable position and hopefully recover from the situation a little bit. He shifted slightly to where you were sitting up instead of hidden, meeting your eyes with a gentle smile.

"You're alright, kiddo. I've got you. We're gonna get through this, hm? There's a rehab center right around the corner-"

"No. No! No rehab! Please, Sam, I can't do that, you don't understand-" you shouted, almost hyperventilating as you defended yourself. There was nothing worse than that in your current state of mind.

"Okay, okay," he relented, rubbing your back slowly. The tension visibly left your body as you took a deep breath. "We'll try it at home, but if it doesn't work, you know we're gonna have to do that, right?"

You nodded resignedly, leaning back into his chest as you kept breathing as deeply as you could. You would have the difficult conversation in the morning-for now, you just wanted comfort, and Sam was all too willing to give it.

Morning came sooner than you would've liked it to. The bright sun shone through the curtains as you stretched, rubbing your eyes while forcing your feet on the floor. The voices coming from the dining room were quiet; the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through the bunker led you to it.

Your presence startled both Sam and Dean, so much so that Dean dropped a piece of bacon on the floor.

"Morning, kid," he greeted you, bending down to grab the bacon. You cringed as he put it right in his mouth, Sam side-eyeing him from the other side of the table.

You hesitated before taking a seat at the table, the tension in the room thick enough that you could cut it with a knife if you wanted to. Sam cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"Okay, we've talked about this, and we're going to give this a shot at home." he said, his voice firm but with more compassion than you thought you deserved. "We're going to be here every step of the way, but this means that you're going to have to follow the rules we set, okay? No exceptions."

You nodded gratefully, tears springing in your eyes at the thought that you'd have to live without your friend. Gently, you felt Dean wrap his arms around you, and for once, you let him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into your ear. "I was a dick, and you didn't deserve that. I'm still pissed, but not at you. You're going through more than we knew and I didn't see that. I love you." 

There was no restraint left in you as tears welled up in your eyes. You allowed them to run down your face freely as you buried your face in his shirt.

You could feel the material getting wetter and wetter with each passing second. Either he didn't notice or he didn't care; he just kept holding you through it.

When the tears subsided, you pulled away from your brother. Determination was in your eyes as you looked him in the face, placing a firm smile on your face quickly.

"Thank you," you whispered, turning to Sam. "Both of you."

They both nodded, each having a hold of one of your hands and squeezing gently. The detox would start in a few hours-you'd been smoking at least two joints every day for long enough to know this as a fact-but you let the moment be still for a minute. This calm was something you wanted to have fresh in your mind for the coming hours.

As you'd predicted, the withdrawal hit around midday. The anxiety was the first symptom to come. Your leg shook constantly, the tapping echoing through the living room loudly.

Your brothers exchanged worried glances as they watched you sit on the couch with your head in your hands, the constant fidgeting not going unnoticed by either. Of course they'd done their research on this, so everything was expected, but it hit hard having to see it firsthand.

The next symptom to hit you was unfortunately the nausea. You bolted up quickly from the couch, running to the nearest bathroom just in time to get up the light breakfast you'd had this morning. Two pairs of footsteps trailed behind you, eventually crouching down beside you. Sam held your hair back while Dean rubbed your back, letting you get it all out. 

Once the worst had passed, Sam helped you clean up and guided you carefully back to the couch.

"I can't do this shit," you muttered weakly, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Listen to me," Dean sighed. "Yes you can. Sam's done it, hell I've done it. You are stronger than this you hear me? We'll guide you through it. You know damn well you're never gonna be alone in this," he reassured quietly. 

As his words washed over you, you sat quietly with your hand in his. Somehow he'd managed to stir up a flicker of hope and determination in your heart and you swore right then and there to use it for good.

Days of being sober turned into weeks, those weeks gradually turning into months until you hit one year. 

"Mornin', kiddo," Sam smiled, spatula in his left hand as he waved at you with the other. You smiled back, mumbling your own greeting before sitting down across the table from Dean.

"Today's a big day, hm?" he asked, making eye contact with you from across the table.

"Yeah, it is. Just-" you cut yourself off with a whimper, which surprised the both of you and scared the shit out of Dean, dropping his spatula as he turned to make sure you were alright. Sam's hand instantly covered yours, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand as he urged you to continue.

"Thank you guys for being here. I don't think I could've made it without you. I was a bit of an idiot to think you didn't care and I can't thank you enough for proving you do. I love you both so much," you whispered, allowing a few stray tears to leak out of your eyes.

Dean said nothing as he turned the burner off, walking over and pulling your head into his chest. Sam joined the hug not 5 seconds later, and you let yourself breathe. The sense of safety you felt like this couldn't be compared to anything, and you thanked Chuck for them and their love. 

The thought of even touching weed hadn't come to your mind in at least 5 months. It definitely wasn't easy to get to the place you were now, but you were finally okay. Even though you hadn't said it, it had a lot more to do with your brothers than they thought.

[kitkatkitchen]

The Magnus Archives - Fave episodes and final thoughts

I have just done the incredible task of finishing The Magnus Archives. Idk what to really do with myself now besides tell you all about my fave episodes and highlights of the series. So, without further ado, statement begins:

MAG 4 - Page Turner

A classic season 1 episode. A great introduction to Leitner! I originally loved this episode because I love books and loved the gothic and creepy vibes of Mary Keay’s book shop. I now love it because of my beloved GERRY KEAY!!!! You heard it here first, folks, I’m a Gerry Keay stan and will not apologise.

MAG 16 - Arachnophobia

I honestly just love the image of this guy aggressively killing this spider over and over and going mad.

“Perfectly natural explanation for why his body was encased in web”

Thanks Jon… helpful.

MAG 26 - A Distortion

I love the plot slowly starting to thicken during season 1. We ❤️ Micheal on this account.

MAG 32 - Hive

I love the genuine unsettling nature of this statement. A real look into the maddening mind of Jane Prentiss and our lovely Archivist branching out with his acting abilities.

MAG 39 - Infestation

“Statement of Jo Spooky”

All of our season 1 babies fighting it out with a bunch of worms!! Plus Tim being a legend as per usual. This was the episode that I fell in love with Tim. Idk the image of him kicking through a wall while being high on gas is always iconic to me.

MAG 61 - Hard Shoulder

DAISY >>>>

Also Breakon and Hope being creepy boyfriends.

MAG 65 - Binary

This was the episode that scared me the most out of all the series. It made me physically sick and I almost considered turning it off. But that’s all the more reason to love the incredible writing of it.

MAG 80 - The Librarian

Oh yeah Kit must love this episode because of all the big reveals and lore dumps!

WRONG!

I love this for Gerry beating up Leitner and the sounds of brutal pipe murder!

MAG 96 - Return to Sender

We also ❤️ Breakon and Hope on this account.

Also Jon doing a Cockney accent is so inherently funny to me.

MAG 101 - Another Twist

MICHEAL!

MAG 111 - Family Business

You will not be shocked to find out that this is my favourite episode. I am in love with Gerry Keay and this episode made me so sad yet so happy to finally hear his voice.

Also I get gender envy from him. No, I will not be taking questions.

MAG 119 - Stranger and Stranger

NOOOOO TIMMMMM

Such great sound for this episode plus I’m a sucker for dramatic moments.

MAG 128 - Heavy Goods

Once again, we love Breekon and Hope. Boyfriends.

MAG 154 - Bloody Mary

Eric is so cute. Also once again we get Gerry lore.

ALL OF SEASON 5

Incredible. We love John and Martin. And those last two episodes were INCREDIBLE. I have no words

Sorry that was so long!

If anyone has any other podcast recommendations I’d really appreciate them!

[poomphuripan]

Given that we're halfway through the series, how well do you think msi is doing ?

hi nonnie

because i'm an overthinker and msi is on my mind 24/7 so i have interpreted this question into three different ways and i'll be answer all three below.

1. how well do you think msi is doing (in terms of portraying the characters and the plot of the original novel, speaking on a personal capacity)?

this series leaves me on the edge of my seat every damn week. everything is WORKING FOR ME. i love the character designs, the adaptational changes, the pacing... my only grievance? occasionally i absolutely detest their hairstyles (whoever hairstyled sol and joe for sol's mv should get fired, real). i also dislike the fact that they usually layer ming's outfits, when i think they should just let him wear one layer of shirt for example in this behind the scene still for that confrontation scene he's just wearing a black shirt but it looks soooo goood, this picture most likely taken when they're rehearsing.

but let's go through bit by bit

character designs: i think like other novel readers, i was a bit wary of the toning down/softening of novel!yanmingxiu, but i think it worked in favor of the series as a visual medium, coupled with them also making joe seemingly more naive than novel!zhouxiang. it balances well to have a not as cruel ming with a puppy-like/happy go luck joe 1.0. i really like in a recent reaction video where up, poom and porsche were reacting to ep.7, poom says he's happy to see so many people curse ming because it meant that he's doing well playing a scum male lead and praised up for playing such a compelling "bad" character because he thinks if it weren't for a such scum ml, his character 'joe' wouldn't come off as pitiful.

adaptational changes: i understand that translating a novel to series is a huge challenge, especially since thai series does not have a tendency to insert inner thoughts as much as japanese series does or the way audiodrama can do so but my stand in is doing so well utilising the flashbacks or blocking/cinematography to showcase the emotions of these characters so i've been loving most changes so far. they're also making changes that i love to see (novel!yan ming xiu throwing a tv remote at zhou xiang when he said something that upset him, reading that i was like bruh was that necessary?!?!!?!?).

pacing: it's really good, with my only grievance being they should make the eps longer in length. contrary to the complaints i'm seeing about how they're making audience wait to long until the huge reveal, i think it's fair and i'd actually like to see ming grovel a bit more before finding out that joe 2.0 is joe 1.0 because or else it wouldn't make sense to me why he would be so invested in getting invovlved with joe 2.0 if he wasn. most eps so far have been condensed from 10 chapters, with the biggest exception being ep 7 being adapted from 16 chapters (chapter 60-75) but i like that they simplified that plot with tharn/novel!tanyin without completely eliminating it. perhaps the only thing i regret being left out is ming crying out to joe's name after having sex with joe 2.0 but since the series went with ming not having sex with joe 2.0 in ep 7 yet so we didn't get it. anyway, ready for more ming/blind master shenanigans this week.

2. how well do you think msi is doing (with chinese fans/novel fans)?

so just recently, the weibo supertopic of my stand in hit 23,000 followers and the douban score for my stand in hit 8.8 (it debuted with a 6.8 score in the first ep btw). while douban scores for bl/foreign dramas tend to bit higher than the average scores for cdramas, this is still a huge feat considering how it's being adapted from a popular danmei novel and how bad the initial reception to the casting announcement was. it is HUGE!

after last week's episode the scores really skyrocketed due to the two scenes, the hotel verbal fight scene and the back reveal. it's also a relief to see how both scenes are well received because they're very different from how they were executed in the novel, so i think this is a good sign of how novel fans have warmed up to the adaptation changes (if anyone is interested, feel free to read chap 73 for that confrontation and chap 74+75 for the back reveal).

also cfans seem to really be into up poompat's portrayal of yan ming xiu these days, most are ready to forgive him while simultaneously still want to watch him suffer for the rest of the series. everyone and their mother loves poom as joe/zhou xiang but they have been loving and praising poom since ep 1 so that's not really new.

3. how well do you think msi is doing (in terms of trending, general viewership and popularity)

i think my stand in is doing crazy well considering its genre (dogblood drama featuring a scum male lead). regarding trending, the number of tweets is increasing weekly and it's stable at 4th/5th place like every week and considering is up against TWO QL series of two popular established branded pairings (EngLot with Love Bully, GemFourth with My Love Mix Up TH) and the hottest lakorn series of the year (Dhevaprom), I think it's already achieving the best possible results in terms of trending (cfans are also wishing that my stand in would be more popular considering how dramatically dogblood and lakorn-coded MSI is ಥ_ಥ)

But I think it's more important for iQIYI that it's ranking #1 worldwide iQIYI consecutively for the last seven weeks since its their "first" Thai original (i actually thought My Dear Gangster Oppa is their first, turns out not 😅). Being up against all those beautiful costume/historical cdramas and still ranking #1??????

also i can't speak on behalf of other fans but the sole fact that the main topic on my twitter timeline every weekend is how pitiful joe is/how terrible ming is/how up and poom are DELIVERING the breakthrough performances of their careers? i think regardless of the end result of this series, it's definitely a remarkable BL series of 2024 and i'd honestly call it the dark horse among the 2024 BL releases considering how lowkey and underwhelmed the initial hype it had.

i hope some of this answers your question 😭😭😭😭 if i had misunderstood your question though, feel free to send another ask. I LOVEEEEE talking about my stand in.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

[toomanythoughts2]

Dethklok Agere HCs: Pickles Edition

🍹🐙🥕🥁🎤🧑‍🎤🍺🫂🍷🍸🥂🥄💉🩲💳💊🚬😡💥🧨🖕💆‍♂️

I wanted to do Pickles 🍹 next because I think he encompasses a range of age regression that isn't your typical shining poster-boy version. I have many thoughts on him that I needed to share before the others. Nathan and Skwisgaar are coming up next, but for now, this is for Pickles 🍹!

Everything is below the Keep Reading tab.

(Pickles, the longer I look at you, the more I realize just how fine you actually are. Like, damn. Anyway...)

🍹 Pickles to me is an older regressor. He's around the pre-teen ages, so around 9 - 12. Just to note, In "Snakes N' Barrels", the old musician that gives Pickles his first guitar said that he was "no more than 16" when he came in. So, if we follow his back story, this is around the age where Pickles was becoming accustomed to drinking heavily. So this is a very tender age for Pickles.

🍹 Like I said with Murderface, Pickles is an Age Dreamer, meaning his regression is voluntary. Pickles can learn to utilize his regression in ways that can help his mental health, but he won't be able to do that until he realizes he regresses.

🍹 Like Murderface, Pickles did not understand at first that he was showing signs of regressing until Toki.

🍹 Because Pickles is one of Toki's main CG, he did not accept or humor the idea that he to could be a regressor. He's been the caregiver for such a long time now that if someone brough it up to him, he would tell them to knock it off. Toki is his main priority at the moment and he needs to be there for him.

🍹 Like Murderface, his regression is not the cute, wholesome stuff that we usually stereotype with regression. His is linked heavily to his past drug and alcohol abuse, his toxic home life, and a very chaotic teenage and young adult life. Thus, creating a very violent regression output.

🍹 It was Dr. Twinkletits that first saw signs of regression in Pickles. It was during one of their own Rock Talks, where 2 and 2 came together. Pickles completely discarded him, but the fear of him being a regressor overcame him in the night, so he drank and smoked till he couldn't lift his head up anymore. The next morning, the thoughts were still present, so he decided to do some of his own research to make them stop.

🍹 How Pickles regression manifests is through violence and abusing drugs and alcohol. I'm not saying that everything adult Pickles does is regression in reference to this, but when it comes to certain situations and how/why he does it, then it can show cast regression. For example, Pickles started drinking at a very very young age to cope. Regression is coping. When Pickles drinks or gets violent after a seriously uncomfortable situation ("Fatherklok") he's doing it because that's how younger him would cope. Being violent came from the chaos that surrounded him, because no one ever listened or paid attention to him. He's violent because that's what got him answers as a kid, so when he beat up Murderface in Fatherklok, that was a form of regression. Same thing in Dethfam when he strangles Seth during his wedding after being bullied the whole day by him and his friends. Both of those episodes also brought up parts of his past, such as Seth being his regular asshole self big brother and Murderface reminding him of his own father and being neglected. Pickles only acted in violence and abuse because of the context in which he was in. In short, it was a trigger. Violence and alcohol abuse are apart of his regression.

🍹 Pickles can be pretty level-headed and the voice of reason when he wants to be. He can be a professional. He can follow his intuition. I think after his own research, he goes back to Dr. Twinkletits and demands to know what he can do to get rid of it. I think because he believes he has to be Toki's Caregiver, he can not allow himself to regress. It's not about being sober, it's about making sure he doesn't accidently slip because of his own problems when (he believes) Toki's problems are way worse. (Trauma Olympics) Dr. Twinkletits helps him but does consult that maybe if he confronted it and told the band, it would be alright. Pickles is very much against that idea.

🍹 He's the hardest of the group to admit it. It takes a good year before Pickles realizes that it would benefit him and the band if he did just come out and say it, because despite trying to "will it away" he keeps slipping back into it. He calls a band meeting and tells them, then threatens them that this doesn't mean they (Toki, Murderface, Skwisgaar) can stop listening to him.

🍹 He has a personal conversation with Nathan about it. He's initially scared by it. Doing it and not knowing about it vs. doing it and knowing about it are two very different feelings. Nathan gets it (Doesn't realize that he also regresses at this point) because he knows that caring for Toki and the band are what's the most important to him right now. Toki and the band are the most important things to Nathan too. But Nathan tells him that no matter what, he's here for him. They've stuck it out through all of this shit, this new piece of information won't frighten him away.

🍹 Toki and him also have a conversation about it. Toki is pleased that Pickles is also a regressor but also very worried. To him, he's scared that Pickles won't want to take care of him anymore. It's frightening to him, he just got his support system back. But he's supportive. Pickles reassurances him that he's not going anywhere, that they are a family. Toki jokes about when he has to take care of Pickles, he'll let Pickles have all the candy he wants, which is something Pickles won't let Toki do. Pickles honks his nose in response.

🍹 Stay with me with what I'm about to say. I believe in order for Pickles to get the full benefits of his regression, he needs discipline. And I don't mean a scolding. I think Pickles had a very real and serious conversation with the guys and Charles that a part of his regression is to do things that are "bad", be punished for them, but still be loved afterwards. He wants the feeling of being cared for enough that someone put rules in place for him to keep him safe and will enact punishment when those rules are broken. As seen in "Fatherklok", Pickles does bad things for attention (Punishment) but in his real life, even running away did not get him the attention he hoped for from his father. He wants to relive those moments, that feeling, that someone cares enough about him that they are willing to be the "bad guy" to keep him safe. While they do have a conversation about more positive ways of seeking attention and reassurance that they are paying attention to him, he's firm in what he wants.

🍹 That being said, I think the different ways Pickles can be disciplined are typical to a regular mid-western suburban up bringing. That means, he wants to be scolded, he wants to be spanked, he wants to be in time out, he wants to be grounded from his hobbies. What he does not want is to be smacked across the face or given the cold shoulder. Both of those are ways he was disciplined that are too close to the real deal. Now, when it comes down to who is giving out these punishments, it depends on the punishment. I think Nathan is the only one that Pickles will listen to in the band (He won't listen to Murderface, Skwisgaar he listens to a little bit, and Toki usually joins in whatever he's doing because it looks like fun.) so most punishments come from him, except spankings. This is where the band is divided the most. None of them want to actually harm Pickles or are uncomfortable doing it, so the only one who will do it is Charles. Charles takes this responsibility very very seriously.

🍹 All of this are just the details to a much deeper want, which is structure. Pickles needs structure in his regression big time. From a young age, his life has been so chaotic and unpredictable with drugs, women, and rock n' roll. He wants to be able to have a space where he knows what's expected of him, what's expected of others, that there is a time and place for activities, that there are rules. He wants to know there there is a hierarchy of people to talk to, that people know what they are suppose to do, with themselves and him. But most of all, he wants to be apart of the structure where he isn't neglected, abused, or blamed.

🍹 Pickles regression, once identified, also forms into a lot of tantrums (Do you see the pattern yet?) Except Pickles tantrums are physically violent due to fear of losing attention. Murderface throws tantrums because he's worried and anxious and misconstrues people's actions and words. Toki throws tantrums because he gets triggered from past events that send him into fight/flight mode. They all throw tantrums for very different reasons.

🍹 Pickles tantrums, while violent, don't last long. They are short bursts of anger, usually destroying something around him, then dissolves into instant regret and sadness. It's a rollercoaster of emotions for sure, the band needs to be there for him when the eventual fall happens.

🍹 Pickles has a weird feeling toward motherly figures when he's regressed. He has a lot of want for his mother, despite his mother not really wanting him. That same kind of desperation bleeds into his regression, but at the same time, he hates that feeling. He wants his mom to notice him, love him, comfort him, see his accomplishments. He feels weird when he gets that attention from other women when regressed, like a female klokateer or even Abigail (if she's around.) To him, it almost feels like "cheating". Like it's soiled praise meant for someone else. They make him feel "weird", something he still isn't able to pinpoint with Dr. Twinkletits. The band and Charles have all decided that it would be best to avoid female interactions when Pickles is feeling regressed to avoid these feelings until they can be identified.

🍹 Any and all mentions of Seth are NOT ALLOWED! It sends him into a horrible rage than ends in a crying fit. It's completely banned.

🍹 When he regresses, knowingly, his accent gets worse. The only one who can understand him is Nathan.

🍹 A lot of common midwestern foods cause him to regress and he will request those types of food when he is regressed because it does provide a bit of nostalgia for him. In one of the special feature DVD extras, Pickles stated that his mom used to make bowls of mayo for dinner, so I see him asking for bowls of mayo when he's small.

🍹 I see him wanting to do things that he didn't necessarily get to do around this age due to either his internal rage, his drinking and drug use, or his unstable home life. Like stereotypical pre-teen things like riding bikes or having sleep overs or having pool/summer parties. He wants to experience these areas without fear and anger (and Seth).

🍹 Further note, he also wants to re-do a lot of things in his past. Specifically, Birthdays. He wants to re-do his 10th birthday because Seth managed to not only take over the entire party onto himself, he was also blamed for another incident in the house, which caused him to lose all of his presents and privileges. The band takes this very seriously and throw Pickles the best 10th birthday imaginable! Pool party with a blow-up castle, hot dogs and hamburgers, a sheet cake with buttercream frosting, and lots and lots of presents! Pickles is so happy that he starts crying half way through "Happy Birthday". Nathan gets him an all access pass to a vintage arcade. Murderface gets him an original Atari 2600. Toki gets him an Easy Bake Oven. Skwisgaar gets him Boggle. Charles gets him Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.

🍹 Like Murderface, he wouldn't use any typical regression supplies but does like to get into comfier clothes.

🍹 However, because Pickles' regression is tied so closely to drugs and alcohol, he does still do those things when he's regressed. The difference is how he does it. He sneaks. He hides the beer cans under his shirt and smokes his joints in the bathroom with the window up and the fan on. It's a split debate amongst the band as they don't necessarily know if it's healthy for him to do these things when he's regressed. Dr. Twinkletits reminds them at Pickles is fully aware of what he is doing and his hiding and sneaking his substances is part of the regression, than it's best to leave it be. If Pickles were to decide one day that he doesn't want to be allowed to do those things when he's regressed, and wants the band to intervene, then that is when they should do something. If Pickles were in fact age regressing involuntarily, then it would be a completely different discussion, but it's not. Pickles voluntarily lets himself regress, therefore, he's in charge of how he wants it. Though, Nathan has talked to Pickles about limiting what he sneaks because he is worried. They've come to an agreement that Pickles will only use what he was already using at that time in his life, which were your basic beers and joints. It's a compromise they're both happy with. Pickles can still sneak and his regression feels more authentic and Nathan knows that he isn't going to walk in on Pickles regressed doing heroin.

🍹 Like Murderface, he hates SPF. Nathan holds him until he's coated three times before he lets him go outside and play.

🍹 Pickles is a little self-conscious of his freckles and hair color when he's smaller because he was always made fun of for it growing up. The jokes "Red-headed step child" really did a number on him in the 70's growing up. Also a lot of Ginger jokes made him self-conscious as well. The band works on giving him compliments and reassurances about those features in order to make him feel better. Toki is the best at it, since he has always been the most genuine compliment giver. Though Skwisgaar is able to give him very specific compliments that don't make him feel worse but they don't make him feel good either. Murderface tries but sometimes they come off a little flat, but the intentions are always good. Nathan gives very basic compliments, but they're always meant.

🍹 Pickles will deny his regression to anyone other than his bandmates and Charles. He will not let word slip about it outside of the group and will get viciously violent if someone makes a claim. It's not that he feels ashamed, but more about having to protect his other titles. He also does not trust people to understand him and his regression and does not want people putting their nose in his business. He saw what it did to Toki (hated it) and will not let it happen to him.

🍹 For my fellow Trans!Pickles truthers, this ones for you! 9 - 12 is the age range where Pickles first noticed that he did not like what was happening to him puberty-wise. Now, Modern-Pickles is already decades away from that stage and is happily settled in his identity. But when he is this age, those feelings sometimes come back. He didn't get the gender-affirming support from his family, so he used other methods to achieve it. But when he is regressed, the band puts things in motion to actively support his identity. That could come in all different ways like Nathan helping him pick out a binder, even though he doesn't need one. He never got the experience of having someone help him look, or to even look in the first place. They up the usage of masculine words like "Boy" "Dude" "Man" "Buddy" "Pal" "Guy" things that would help solidify that position in the group. Skwisgaar takes him out clothes shopping to help build a new wardrobe for his "special guy" (He can't say this to Pickles with Toki around because it will trigger his regression and then he will get jealous of Skwisgaar's attention. It's inevitable.) Murderface and Toki include him as "one of the dudes" in their dumb shit adventures, like sneaking out to go drink somewhere on the property or go smash something with bats. Pickles is always very grateful for this.

🍹 He reads so many comic books when he's regressed. Like a crazy amount of comic books. Especially Conan the Barbarian, Marvel and DC, Archie, Grimm's Ghost Stories, and MAD. He also loves Sunday comic strips. He will read them with the band on Sundays every morning during breakfast. It's their little ritual whether or not Pickles is regressed.

🍹 Warning, this one is a little explicit (??) Not sure how to label it but it's not anything bad. So this next one is a 50/50 HC with me, depending on how real I want this to get. Pickles did not have a normal childhood AT ALL, so I think his regression is very very very different from everyone else in comparison to what they do. Keep that in mind.

I know, as a former child, that 9 - 12 was when I was starting to discover my body, so it's probably the same age that Pickles would discover his. I don't think it's imperative to his regression that Pickle's discovers his body, but I think it will happen given enough time. Like how he sneaks with drugs and alcohol, he might also sneak off to explore himself.

If we want to get real, his own childhood is probably riddled with transactional sex for booze and drugs, especially since he has been drinking since he was 6. Remember, he started Snakes n' Barrels at 16, still a minor and only 10 years after he started. He is most likely a victim in some shape or form, even if he doesn't see himself as one (I HC they he has a hard time referring to himself as a victim in relation to anything that happened to him due to drugs and alcohol.) That could very well translate into his regression, where this might be the first time where he feels safe enough to explore himself without the lingering fear and shame. It could also be tied into taking back control that he once lost at that age. Where his body was a tool to further his substance abuse, and not something that he could just have to himself.

All of this is not talked about with the band directly from Pickles, but Pickles does talk about it with Dr. Twinkletits. Dr. Twinkletits in turn, tells the band as delicately as possible that this could happen, and if it does and you accidently run across it, leave him be. Do not interrupt or stop him. It's an unspoken acceptance that this is just something Pickles needs to work through. I know this is a more controversial take with age regression, so if you don't personally vibe with this, that's perfectly fine.

🍹 Pickles does not want a caregiver like Toki, who wants parental care givers, but he doesn't want to regress alone without them like Murderface. Pickles wants a Big Brother caregiver. Seth is a piece of shit but that doesn't stop Pickles from wishing he had a cool, protective big brother unlike Seth. So the band are all of his Big Brothers who look out for him but let him get away with shit. They tussle and fuss but also respect each other and love one another. He especially wants the feeling of being protected by an older sibling. When Nathan or Charles might be gearing up to discipline Pickles, one of the others will step in and try to talk Pickles out of it. Or they'll defend him and keep him close. It's a fine line of wanting protection from a older sibling and wanting discipline from an authoritarian figure. He does get a warm feeling when they help him with something or pass down "big brother advice" or think he's cool. It makes him feel smaller and softer.

🍹 He eats Play Dough. I think it would be the salt inside of it. He also eats chalk and newspaper. Charles has him checked out in case he is low on vitamins and is trying replenish them by eating non-food items. He's fine, he just likes the taste.

🍹 He does the middle finger when you turn around when he gets scolded. The others find it so funny because sometimes he isn't fast enough to put it away and gets caught.

🍹 Pickles rediscovers a lot of old books he used to read as a child but never finished. He spends a good amount of time re-reading them and actually finishing them. He finished The Outsiders, Carrie (Personal Favorite!), Who Censored Roger Rabbit (Personal Favorite!), Jaws (I want to read this one.), and Are You There God? It's Me, Margert, which I see being his "guilty pleasure" book that he would read over and over again. The others will offer him snacks during his reading time or give him a blanket if it's cold.

🍹 Pickles is a whiner. If doesn't want to do something, he moans and groans the whole way through. He doesn't want to pick up his clothes or put his dishes in the sink. He doesn't want to sit up in his chair right.

🍹 He has one stuffed animal that he keeps on his bed that Toki got him. It's a stuffed dog named Max. When he's not feeling small, he keeps him on his dresser to safe keeping.

🍹 He demands to have sleepovers in Nathan's room all the time, whether or not the others want to join. They get snacks and candy and watch R-rated horror movies and sneak a beer or two. It makes him feel giddy and playful and happy. He's having the fun he wished he could of had as a child with a friend, while doing things he's not suppose to with someone who won't tattle on him. He's also a cuddlier at these parties. A part of him just wants to be held while he sleeps.

🍹 Pickles loves to drum when he's small too. He played the drums as a kid, so he probably used it a lot to get out his anger and frustrations. It's not good playing, it's not meant to be. It's just a lot of him getting out his emotions and going through the motions. Like that scene from Hey Arthur where Francine is playing the drums and singing at the same time and is god awful at it. That's Pickles playing the drums when he's younger.

🍹 They have caught him from time to time trying on his old Snakes n' Barrels clothes. Kind of like dress up. He's always shy when it happens but the others don't joke him too hard about it.

🍹 He gets along with Murderface well when they are both regressed. They're just similar in age enough to be able to play peacefully, or as peacefully as two young children can play. Toki, not so much. He's usually too small to really play with them and it triggers a part of Pickles that needs to care for Toki, forcing him out of his regression. Because of that, Toki can't be around Pickles when they're both regressed.

🍹 Skwisgaar and Murderface take him to destruction rooms to get out his anger. It works very well but it's a pain trying to get him out of the room. He wants to stay there forever.

🍹 Pickles feels very "in charge" of his regression. He doesn't like the spontaneous nature of it and really only wants to regress in a controlled environment, like Mordhaus, and with select people, Dethklok and Charles.

🍹 Legos. He will sit and build Legos until his fingers bleed. He had a bin at home when he was much younger but they got taken away from him because Seth kept complaining that he was hurting his foot by stepping on them. Toki and Murderface take him to the Lego store as often as they can to get new sets. They all sit and build together, usually watching something or listening to music.

🍹 Pickles has a lot of musical knowledge. He loves talking about different bands and musicians and comparing songs. Nathan and Skwisgaar are the best with these conversations, as they can keep up with him. They talk shop and even formulate some new drum beats during this time. Nathan refers to it as priceless.

🍹 He does have a curfew but he also breaks curfew a lot. He's suppose to go to bed by 9, but he'll sneak a little to stay up till 10. This usually ends with Charles and Nathan putting him back to bed, tucked under the covers tightly. Pickles finds it funny. As a child, he would have been smacked or yelled at for be up so late, but this was nicer.

🍹 Very rarely will Pickles regression dip lower than 9. But it does happen. It usually happens after talking to his mother, father, or brother. He gets as low as 6, maybe 5, but it's only for a short while. This is when he needs the most support.

🍹 Toki is very protective of Pickles when Pickles is regressed. He knows how hard Pickle works to keep him happy and safe, and he wants to "repay" that somehow by making his regression just as safe. It's a little annoying but overall very sweet.

🍹 Skwisgaar will give Pickles impromptu guitar lessons when they are alone. They both get a bit of nostalgia when they do one of these lessons. It reminds Pickles of happier moments in his life when his actual guitar teacher was helping him learn. He likes the act of learning from someone who cares about him. The gentle encouragements, the finger placements, the thoughtfulness. It makes him feel good.

🍹🐙🥕🥁🎤🧑‍🎤🍺🫂🍷🍸🥂🥄💉🩲💳💊🚬😡💥🧨🖕💆‍♂️

I hope y'all can see the vision I'm trying to paint here with Pickles. He is a very unwell man who just wants to be loved. I think I channeled him well. I love Pickles, my little octopus. Obvi, if you have any HCs of your own, tell me about them! OK, love you, bye! 👋

[the-words-we-sung]

Thoughts and pictures - S3E3

The great rewatch of season 3 continues! And we're halfway through with episode 3. As usual, it's probably gonna get a bit long so proceed with caution 😁

And we're starting off with some big big pressure on Wilhelm, for a change... "I don't know if I can handle it" => ma'am, you're the queen, you're an adult, you're his mother. Get a fucking grip!!

How can she put so much pressure on her son's shoulders? I understand that she's unwell, she hasn't grieved Erik's death properly in season 2 so this break down was bound to happen I guess, but how can she (and Ludwig) just abandon Wilhelm like that? And not so long after his speech (and the "trial" with August). Did either of them talk to him about it? About this huge coming out he just did? About how brave he was? One day I'll write a post just about Wilhelm and his parents because I have A LOT of feelings.

And I don't know a lot about how a monarchy works but would Wilhelm really have to step up and replace his mother if she was suddenly unfit to lead, despite being 16? That doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? Especially in this case when Wilhelm has been Crown Prince for very little time (and even needs a special Crown Prince school during summer to learn his duties).

"You wouldn't have been able to handle it. That I can fuck up too" => oh Simon, my sweet sweet boy... I have to say that I really like his scenes with his mother this season, I really needed to see Linda actually act like a mom, and Simon to become more "real" with her. So I love their scenes and dynamic this season!

Is Wilhelm still seeing Boris? Or is he really all alone in dealing with his mother's health and everything else? My boy needs help...

I'm sorry but Simon with helmet hair is just the cutest thing!

But gosh their communication is just so awful this season... On one hand Simon frustrates me a tiny bit because I didn't think he would be so "naive". I mean, of course it must feel truly awful to receive to many hate comments, but he's a teenager who knows how to use social media so I would have expected him to know that these people are trolls and responding to them would lead nowhere? The people writing these are not interested in knowing him or the truth or anything, just in being nasty because it's easy to do so anonymously. But also I guess he's 16. He's super young, I'm probably expecting too much maturity here and not being super fair ><

And on the other hand, Wilhelm also frustrates me because he barely stops to listen and to actually see what Simon is going through. And yeah, he's got the crazy pressure from his family and his mother being unwell but still, he's being very selfish. And he has always had a tendency to be, but it's 10x worst this season ><

(Also why did he not say anything to these mean girls mocking Simon's song when they entered the music room together??)

I'm realizing now that truly, these Boris sessions with Wilhelm and August are really fucked up: the sessions with Boris helped Wilhelm so much last season, he felt safe enough to talk there, to be honest, and he was able to work through the hard stuff in his life. And now they put August there? The person who made him feel unsafe, who recorded him and leaked the video online. They put that person here in his safe place with him? Which might explain why there's no more therapy sessions for Wilhelm this season (outside of the ones with August). It's so fucked up...

Wilhelm is feeling so cornered...

And Simon is breaking my heart... Omar is such a good actor, he portrays sadness way too well, I wanted to cry almost every time I saw Simon in this episode. He's so depressed, thinking everyone hates him, it's hard to watch... Why did season 3 have to be so cruel to him?

It's hard to enjoy the sweet moments between them (this scene for example, which I forgot was gonna happen there :p) when we just had a sad Simon, bad communication between them, Wilhelm being mean to him... It makes it hard (for me) to enjoy the cute scenes because it just feels like a small band-aid put on a gaping wound ><

I really liked that we got to see Felice's dad again, and this scene is so important! I love Felice's decision to go without her dad and to be honest in the end. I still think she should have had a stronger storyline throughout the whole show. She's a great character and she deserved more!!

Sara and Micke singing in the car: 💛 "I'd rather have a papa with bad spells than no papa at all" => I don't know August... I guess it's the eternal dilemma..

Just because he looks so incredibly beautiful here 💜

This Sara and Micke conversation was so important and needed! I really liked that we finally got a bit more information about Micke and what happened to their family.

And another scene that I forgot was happening in this episode ^^' I got too used to seeing the cute (and hot) scenes from this season with gifs here that I know them without the context around :p

Why is it that every time something good happens to Simon this season, it backfires immediately and Wilhem makes him sad about it? 😩

3 more episodes to go, wish me luck >< This season is even more depressing than I remembered ^^'

[ecargmura]

Wonderful Precure Episode 29 Review - The Real Enemies Attack

What do you mean it took 29 episodes for the story to take a huge nosedive in terms of progression? I feel like this is the true second act of the show with how the usual formula of transforming into Precures and rescuing GaruGarus have changed. Now that the enemies have shown up and Niko has awakened, I honestly can’t wait to see where the story goes from here on out.

Niko’s birth reminds me of Pokemon Eggs hatching with the slow progression and the glowing too. Niko is cute but also hilarious. She has a gyaru personality, but can be scary when things don’t go her way like how she told Mey Mey to never tell anyone about Niko Garden or use the emergency trunk. The way the Niko Garden animals were gathered and excited for her return felt like she was an idol and they are the concert attendees. Though, there are still a lot of questions about Niko like why she kept going to Iroha and Komugi despite not wanting anyone to know about Niko Garden.

It turns out that the GaruGarus were caused by the enemy, Gaou, and that Niko was the one who put them into eggs in order to protect them, but it didn’t work as they were still GaruGarus when the Precures discovered them. This brings up a lot of questions like why did Gaou invade Niko Garden?

Gaou is the name of the mysterious wolf who’s the cause of the GaruGaru energy. He seems to be the spirit of the supposedly extinct Japanese wolf and that he and his companions, Zakuro and Torame are the only ones left. It’s interesting how Zakuro and Torame hate humans, yet they still transform into one. I guess it’s for diversion? However, I do like that Zakuro and Torame have distinct personalities and have a rivalry towards each other for Gaou’s affections. I do like that they dish out their exact reason for their actions: their hatred for humans because they caused their extinction. This actually causes Iroha to actually question herself and her actions for once and even question if they’re the enemies. Wow, for someone who’s usually super optimistic, Iroha legit got a mental breakdown of sorts.

I actually like that Gaou and his two companions were actually hinted back at Episode 23 at the summer festival. Remember Karasuma’s story about the wolves? Yeah, they’re finally taking action. Gaou’s companions were the two wolf statues protecting the shrine. Episode 16 also talked about the legend of Animal Town and the illustrations show a wolf and a unicorn. There was definitely a lot of foreshadowing, but I dislike how it took so long for everything to play out. Though, the pacing and execution of this episode did make up for it.

I do find it interesting how the opposing forces are a battle between extinct animals and an imaginary creature. I’m glad that now the enemies have showed up, they aren’t seen as chumps and that the Precures are going to have to throw hands this time around. I wonder how they’re going to defeat the GaonGaons now. What are your thought on everything that transpired in this episode?

[themcomicsofficial]

Welcome Home next Theory Idea

So now we know about the next update of Welcome Home from Clown Illustration's update on twitter.

So here are my thoughts on what will happen:

The main page starts out fresh and new this time it has Spring features like flowers, a bright beautiful, clear blue sky and of course--Wally!!

As the user scrolls down we see the cast--but wait, WHERE'S EDDIE?? (The neighbors are wearing spring attire with a banner that says "Welcome!" however Eddie Dear is no where to be found)

The Neighborhood page:

The user goes the neighborhood page as usual...

However, when the user clicks on Eddie Dear they get a proclaimer that will say; "Due to technical difficulties, the audio recording of Eddie Dear has been temporality compromised. We will fix it up soon."

When the user clicks on the dialogue of Eddie. It shows warbles and--quite disturbing sounds with groaning and moaning--then record scratch!

The Merchandise page:

Since Julie Joyful is centered around this. The WHRP have recovered a story called "Sing-A-Long, Spring-A-Along!" Where it centers around Julie trying to make the flowers bloom from her singing. As we reach--I dunno the 15:50-16:05, Frank asks where's Eddie--Then it warbles with disturbing noises and a woman screaming in the end.

However, the story cuts back to the story with Julie all happy that her singing made the flowers bloom! And they live happily ever after!

As we scroll in the Merchandise page more

The WHRP say they have recovered a Julie Joyful stuffed animal commercial audio where it "protects you from the dark" and "make you see her in "eyes"...

Away from Prying Eyes:

W once again talks to us about how Welcome Home is still difficult to find, the Question Answer sent him complaints on how every each search result makes no sense. W talks about the toy phone again but this time...he presses the pink button...(Julie Joyful) as he tells us that JULIE can hear him as well...Telling him why isn't W playing with her as he recalls of seeing her in a flower field and a woman with a blood stained hammer attacked him in a dream.

Footage:

Unlike with the Commercials from "Homecoming", W tells us he found the illustrated, storybook segments in a supposed episode of Welcome Home.

It's a continuation of the story with Julie Joyful taking care of the flowers, Sally Starlet tells her about Eddie Dear's sudden disappearance...Then we get the climax...Julie says "Who's Eddie?" Sally looks her dumbfounded and yells at her on how come she doesn't remember Eddie at all. Julie believes that Sally is playing a game, Sally begins to panic to have a anxiety attack on what's going here in the neighborhood loudly, asking what's going here...Then the screen goes black with Sally in the dark with Julie looking down...

Sally: J-Julie?

Sally sees her holding a bloody hammer with blood covered on hands...

Julie Joyful: You should've played with me...

A beating is heard offscreen where blood is splashed on the walls...

The camera goes down we see a pink flower as it opens an eye...

W says in the final description that he couldn't recall on what he heard...All he can hear was the illustrated story segments and that's it but the one thing he can recall that merchandise of Sally Starlet was fatality damaged...

So this means Sally is gone as well...

Man, I had a lot of fun writing this!

Lemme know what you think!

Welcome Home is owned by Clown Illustrations