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findmeinthefallair · 1 year

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"i don't mind therapy questions relating to hunter" ahh i don't really have any at the moment so i'm willing to throw it to you! here is a carte blanche to talk about any sort of hunter therapy gunk you can think of. i'm eager to hear what you have to say

Oooh very cool, thanks for this ask @lewvithur! Thanks for your patience as I've been working on it bit by bit. I could def infodump about how counselling microskills work, which all exist to aid in the main objective of therapy i.e. building rapport. And I'll explore this in the context of a therapist seeing Hunter as a client. Let me see if I can more or less sum it up without being too wordy.

The 3-year training program I was in (it was supposed to be 2 years, but worldwide Covid slowed down my internship hell of a lot), had this model in arguably our most important textbook:

It's called the hierarchy of counselling microskills, and it's arguably our fundamental guide (of the particular course I was in anyway, I'm sure there's a variety of textbooks, authors and supervisors that different training centers use) on how to achieve results in therapy sessions. In the pyramid, we work from the bottom and go upwards. The pyramid's foundation is about being sensitive towards our clients and how to listen well in order for them to feel heard and to build good rapport and trust with them.

The textbook's authors also came up with a 5-stage interview structure (Relationship—Story and Strengths—Goals—Restory—Action), that you could say is the bigger umbrella under which this pyramid is placed. The 4th stage, restorying, is particularly interesting since it involves reframing or introducing new and more helpful perspectives, especially for how a client can look at terrible things that have happened to them (this doesn't mean that they aren't allowed to say those things were and are painful to remember).

The 1st stage - trust between therapist and client - is the ultimate driver of their sessions.

Notice the word "strengths" in the 2nd stage: it's related to empowering the client by reminding them of resources they already have within themselves e.g. proactiveness, compassion, sensitivity. It's related to how the therapist doesn't supply these to the client but instead draws them out of the client in the safety of the therapy sessions.

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Coming back to the pyramid - the rest of this post will be a little crash course on some of its levels from bottom to top.

Below are the foundations of what a therapist does, some of it overlaps with other fields like nursing and social work...

Ethics and Multicultural Competence:

Hunter spent the majority of his foundational years in the Emperor's Coven. What more, he was raised in it. I believe that in parallel with the relevant authorities investigating what happened behind closed doors in the castle, and investigating the particularly toxic culture within the Emperor's Coven...Hunter would be on his way, via therapy, towards dismantling and unlearning a lot of unhealthy practices and habits that were previously normalized and even encouraged during his years as a scout and as the Golden Guard.

His therapist would have to ethically protect him and balance out some core ethical principles e.g. encouraging him to make his own decisions, ensuring his welfare, doing no harm, and honouring commitments with him as their client. Plus be sensitive towards his cultural background. I personally doubt that Steve's therapist was also in the Emperor's Coven with him; even if they were, their hands would be tied for so much of the time or worse, they may have been encouraged to engage in malpractice, which is a possibility that disturbs me the most. I can't imagine what manner of malpractice Coven Heads such as Hettie Cutburn were getting up to. Though...it's even possible that Steve kept the therapist's existence a secret from the Coven(s).

A clear example of multicultural competence applied here is that the therapist should take note of any assumptions or biases that may pop up in their own mind, once they learn that their new client Hunter used to be the Golden Guard and is a grimwalker.

One big question here would be whether the therapist already knows in their first session that he used to be Belos's right-hand man, or that Hunter doesn't disclose this yet (it's very possible! Maybe his parents ensure that he's protected like this and is given full choice re: when he will disclose that huge piece of info to the therapist). I don't think he'd keep major info like this a secret from his therapist forever; from my perspective, if it isn't ever disclosed it would not be effective for his healing because it provides pretty much the foundational context for the difficulties he faced.

Attending Behaviour:

The program I trained in encouraged us to follow the "SOLER" formula. Sit squarely, Open posture, Lean slightly forward, Eye contact, Relaxed body language. Basically letting our clients know that we are interested to hear all that they have to share, and that we aren't closed off, unreceptive or tense in any way. There is the annoying pattern I often see in fictional media where therapists cross their legs while sitting, which is absolutely discouraged irl.

There's also the 3V's + B formula: Visual (appropriate eye contact with client), Vocal (warmth and no judgment in voice), Verbal (tracking whatever the client is saying), Body language (being yourself: clients are often pretty perceptive of how genuine a therapist is).

While the therapist should definitely sit squarely to face Hunter, there are sensitivities that I keep imagining such as getting the distance between themselves and him just right. We know that Belos has cornered him in close proximity, torsos directly facing one another:

So depending on the intensity of any given session for Hunter, the therapist might want to try a softer, more diagonal seating angle:

It matters because the therapist has to bear in mind how short a leash he was on, with Belos.

Observation Skills:

It's about picking up on the client's behaviours, observing what's going on between therapist and client, both verbally and non-verbally. Every client's story is unique, and they would have key words that lead their therapist closer to themes in their life.

"Help", "family" and "supposed" seem to be Hunter's key words.

His therapist would have to listen out for repetitions of these words and possibly other relevant words or phrases too. Along with his voice tone, posture etc and whenever any of those shift, and gently exploring those shifts. In this case, observation matters in order to pick out the things that hold a lot of meaning for the client.

With an average session lasting an hour, each session could be said to be broken down into "chapters" based on whatever the client is sharing that day. The vibes in a session can shift, e.g. when the therapist gently confronts the client, and say, the client's body language drastically changes when they start to clutch a pillow to their chest and curl up their body, to feel safer and self-soothe, putting more of their guard up.

Observation also involves looking for signs of contradiction or conflict, whether in the client's verbal story and/or non-verbal language. After all, stress is the result of such conflict or incongruity and therapy could help guide a client towards managing that stress.

Monitoring how guarded/tense/uncomfortable vs. open/relaxed/comfortable Hunter is during his sessions, would be a way to sum up this section.

It's fairly common to encounter something called a "doorknob confession" where a client opens up about something significant only in the final minutes of the session, after being nervous and reluctant to address that matter in almost the whole session. They might burst into tears suddenly, become chatty after almost complete silence, etc. We'd have to prepare for that and set the appropriate boundaries, yet tend to their pain so they are stable and equipped as needed, to leave the session.

Sudden shifts like that have happened before to him

(If you listen back to his voice here, it becomes raised, high-pitched and reflects how much pain he's in. Being distracted by the two palismen struck a raw nerve)

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Next are some basic listening skills...

Questioning:

The general rules are that open questions (like those starting with "what" and "how", or instructions like "Tell me more") are for encouraging clients to open up, to talk about their emotions. We call this being "process-oriented" and it is emotion-focused. Closed questions (starting with words like "are", "is" or "were") are generally for getting info and facts, or being a bit more direct if using open questions isn't effective. This is "content-oriented", which is fact-focused/information-focused. Some questions like "where" questions are interesting since they could be either open or closed, depending on he context in which you ask them. "Where is this feeling coming from?" is open (to encourage exploring the emotional process), while "Where did X happen?" is closed and is asked in order to obtain factual info.

There's no fixed formula as to what ratio a therapist should use the open and closed questions in, since each client is unique. But it's about following the client's rhythm, behaviour and personality, getting a sense of how to lead them towards how they wish to benefit from the therapy sessions. There are general pointers, though: if a client is getting too comfortable talking about content e.g. describing events in a flat cold manner, in order to detach from and avoid emotions that they should be connecting with, the therapist would want to use more open questions to steer the session towards the client's emotional process. If a client is experiencing intense emotional flooding due to feeling intensely triggered, open questions may not achieve much to stabilize and ground them. Closed and more directive questions to get info and facts may work better to check in with them, since the client could benefit from a sense of clarity.

Hunter is no therapist, but! He is empathetic, sweetly asking a distressed Willow a closed question here, to help in reeling her back:

Hunting Palismen and Labyrinth Runners each have a fantastic example of open questions, even though Luz and Gus aren't even therapists:

Luz and Gus each ask an open question, a "what" question, which prompted Hunter to take a risk and be more vulnerable with emotions. Open questions are designed for their recipients to take ownership and do the legwork. Therapy is a chance for Hunter to experience much more of this feeling of being heard and welcomed.

On top of the above, a therapist can phrase questions as more directive or non-directive. "Tell me about what happened that day", "What happened that day?" and "Would you like to tell me what happened that day?" each have a different feel, though of course they all must be asked with a warm and open voice tone. Obviously one shouldn't be too directive with Hunter at all, since that can be too Belos-like, it'll more easily feed his deeply ingrained shame and he might see the sessions as an assessment for how well he can please the therapist (big no-no...).

There are times where I imagine one should be firm with him, but overall it is extremely important to empower him by offering him options/choices and letting him learn ownership of his newfound freedom.

Showing Empathy using Active Listening:

Involves three components: using encouragers, paraphrases, and summarizing. They would be great for Hunter since he will feel fully heard and seen, compared to being used to Belos cutting him off and dismissing him.

Encouragers are used in order to keep a client talking. Examples are the therapist nodding their head, and saying the classic "Mhm", "Right" or similar. Even the use of silence at the right times can be an encourager. Silence can be powerful and a gamechanger, since I think it's never exactly a "quiet" period: because that's when the client's having an important internal conversation with themselves via their thoughts.

Paraphrasing is basically reflecting what the client said back to them, in the therapist's own words. It is needed to "help a client complete their storytelling". It also says in the textbook that "A client who has been through trauma may need to tell the story several times", and the paraphrases of a therapist add to this repetition of the story. If e.g. a traumatized confused client is finding trouble to describe and understand what happened to them, paraphrasing from their therapist is important.

Summarizing is roughly done at the beginning, middle and ending of a session to mark "chapters/sections" in the session. It helps to structure the session, helps both client and therapist be up to speed with what has been shared so far, also to check in with the client if anything has been left out in the conversation. Doing this may also alert the client of any themes etc that might stand out to them, helping them have a "light bulb" moment.

Reflecting A Client's Feelings Back to Them:

Sometimes I tell my clients that I'm a person who holds up a mirror for them to see themselves, instead of simply dispensing easy advice for them. I'm there to empower them to feel their emotions and make their own decisions, instead of me doing that work for them.

The skill of reflecting feelings back to a client can help them get more comfortable with emotion language (examples: mad, scared, confused, frustrated, disgusted, devastated, numb), especially if they have come from an upbringing where emotional expression was frowned upon or even dangerous.

They can be encouraged to enter more depth of emotions, like digging through layers, to get closer to connecting with their pain before deep healing takes place. Sometimes they may want to stay in safer zones such as confusion, numbness or anger, and may need time before taking a bold step to connect with the hardest emotions such as shame, terror or loss.

Hunter having his feelings reflected back to him would be a good next stage beyond subplots such as Gus's efforts to help him open up in Labyrinth Runners.

In the two scenes above, there isn't emotion language yet.

But his "I'm just scared" here, a few episodes later? Tadda! Emotion language. It's a good sign of naming and owning his feelings, and of him trusting Flapjack as a safe trusted space for him to even say that. Notice that he only spoke like this with the one he trusted most: Flapjack.

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Next are the more intermediate skills...

Focusing:

This involves directing the conversation towards relevant areas, e.g. if a client has not shared enough about their family background. A therapist would have to use this skill differently with clients who have stronger and more headstrong personalities versus those who are more accommodating.

A therapist can choose from different areas to focus in more depth, depending on what they feel is best to get the client closer to their goals. Such areas include the client themselves, their main theme/issue, other people in the client's life, the client's cultural background, or what is specifically happening in the moment in the therapy session.

Empathic Confrontation and Challenging a Client:

There may be times where a client is encouraged to look at contradictions or areas in which they are stuck, which produce more stress. Such confrontation by a therapist must be gentle, it must be an invitation instead of coercion, and must make the client feel that the therapist is still rooting for them: and both can work together towards possible resolutions for those conflicts in the client.

When done right, this kind of confrontation makes room for new levels of creativity, courage and other positive qualities in the client. It's not recommended to try this out in any early stage of therapy until rapport is more solid between therapist and client. Sometimes, a client does this work and reaches this awareness all on their own, knowing how stressed they are e.g. when they express "I'm torn between X and Y".

We see this to some extent below i.e. the contradiction between the Golden Guard never being scared, versus him feeling scared in the current moment:

It shows that there is still some Golden Guard in him, but the rest is unchartered territory which is making him frustrated. He is torn between places.

Other clients may require a gentle push from the therapist to reach this place, and there's nothing wrong with that, but Hunter definitely has his moments of determination and being proactive.

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Next are what are called "influencing skills" which are usually only used in later sessions once trust between client and therapist is strong...

Reframing:

Helps to potentially generate new angles on something the client has shared. Hunter's therapist might ask him for example, "How might you bring Flapjack's gift of restoring your life, into the new things that you would like to learn?"

It's a very open question that would prompt Hunter to reflect deeply. He really needs to trust his therapist first in order for this to work, because if it's done too early in their relationship, he might be overwhelmed or intimidated. Open questions like this, where an attempt at reframing is in action, are often followed by periods of silence in the client which is completely normal. It would afford Hunter a very important amount of headspace to have an inner dialogue with himself.

Self-Disclosure:

May be used depending on the difference in power between therapist and client, but it has to be used with particular caution. It'll more likely be used if the client is from a minority group, or if the age gap and life stage between therapist and client is wider.

While I can't share details of the toughest case I've handled so far in my career, I'll say that this skill was needed for the first breakthrough to happen with that client and earn their trust.

Safe to say that Hunter's therapist might utilize this skill more than in the average IRL therapy session: because the Isles would be experiencing collective grief while rebuilding is taking place. Belos was happy to have genocide on his list, after all. And Hunter was highly isolated growing up which puts him in a very vulnerable position.

Immediacy:

A bit of a wild card skill. It is risky but in some cases, may be the best way to repair/enhance a conflict between therapist and client, shortly before the client might decide to never come back to further sessions.

This skill overlaps a bit with confrontation/challenging above: because it is also used to point out contradictions in the session, but the distinguishing feature of immediacy is it's about something that's happening in the current moment and which has happened a few times e.g. a client's suddenly clenched fists, or them avoiding a certain topic.

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A therapist has to draw upon multiple frameworks per session, which would have to work together like a nicely oiled machine, and be prepared for any sort of shift or development from the client's end. For example, affirming the client's strengths at regular intervals throughout the session, and helping the client take note of their resources so that it's not just about the negative stuff i.e. client sharing unsavoury details and experiencing unpleasant feelings in session.

Intuition and instinct combined with experience and these skills...all make up the therapist's personal style of conducting therapy, which is refined over time. All this translates into the treatment that Hunter's therapist would provide for him, knowing when to invite him into exploration mode, to be curious about his pain as opposed to shutting it out

versus slowing him down and grounding him when an emotional flashback sends him into a flurry

Thank you for the ask - it gave me the opportunity to geek out like this! :D

#loz's ask box #loz writes a meta #hunter goes to therapy #toh hunter #huntlow #the owl house #ahahaha as usual this got lengthy

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fantastical-euphoria · 5 months

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meeting def backstage for the first time be like…

“uhm… hi…” *approaching joe and sav* my name is remy, i’m kinda shy…

joe: “ah don’t worry, we’ve got a shy one on our end as well.”

sav: “yeah, steve”

me: “…who’s he again?”

joe: “one of the best bloody guitarists you’ll ever meet!”

me: “mmkay, so like… who’s like… the *best* guitarist?”

sav, flipping his hair back, with a straight face: “i wouldn’t know.”

joe: “but i think you’ll really like each other!”

sav: “yeah, you two’ll hit it off.”

me skeptically: “aaand how do you *know*?”

sav: “i read people’s auras as a side hustle.”

joe: “he doesn’t, actually, we’ve just got a really good feeling about you two.”

rick, popping up next to me from out of nowhere: “hi!” *sticks out his hand*

*i shake*

me, eyes flashing back and forth between sav and rick, “so like wait… there’s two ricks…”

sav rolling his eyes: “i know, it gets confusing. easy way to remember us is, the better rick has two arms.”

me responding cheekily: “you mean the better rick *had* two arms? alright, duly noted.”

joe: *stifling laughter*

rick: “i like this kid!”

me: “alright, so who else is in your bloody band of yours?”

joe: “oh, just phil.”

rick: “oh yeah phil!”

sav: “oh *god* phil.”

phil bursting onto the scene: “who rang?” *notices me* “oh hi!” *sticks his hand out*

*i shake*

him blurting: “so wotcha doin later love?”

me: “…sleeping? binge watching true crime? i dunno, i’m a human being.”

phil: “awh yeah sleepover ARE WE INVITED we better be!”

me: “yeah, four of you are invited.”

joe: “wait, who isn’t?”

sav, arms folded and chewing gum, side-eyeing phil: “take a lucky guess.”

phil: “aw crAP what did i do?!?!”

me, trying to sound encouraging: “be yourself? i dunno, you’re funny to me. does anyone make you laugh?”

phil: “psh, i make myself laugh.”

joe: “not steve?”

rick: “steve?”

sav: “it’s steve.”

phil, turning red in the face:

me: “so they’re dating?”

joe and sav collectively: “yes.”

rick whispering in my ear: “we don’t know what to do with him sometimes.”

me, shrugging: “hey, you never know, y’all might cross paths with a guitarist some day who matches phil’s energy to a T!”

joe: “but… that’s steve.. we’ve already got one… unless—“

phil: “no, steve ain’t going NOwhere.”

joe: “then that settles it then.”

*turning to me* “so how’re you? did’ja like the show alright?”

me: “oh, it was impressive! i was blown away! i could never do what you guys do on a constant, consistent basis… i’m too prone to anxiety attacks, which, in my case is a far worse feeling than stagefright… you become mentally paralyzed and it’s just… you don’t feel good whatsoever. but surely none of you can relate, you’ve got the personas of glittery rockstars, who know absolutely nothing about anxiety-“

joe: “let me stop you there. i think it’s about time you met steve. offstage, he’s nothing like he’s onstage. you’ll see what i mean.”

me, visibly confused, glancing at him in a perplexed state: “okay?”

joe, walking me to the dressing room, carefully explaining: “yeah he gets anxiety attacks all the time, we all have to try and calm him down some. usually it does the trick, unless he’s really out of it.”

me: “and what do you do then?”

joe, shaking his head: “then we can’t go on. there is no def without steve, you have to understand that. sometimes i wish i could be the one subject to those bloody anxiety attacks, because, it’s honestly painful, to see his play out the way they do.”

me: “so does he receive help?”

joe, nodding: “from us, yeah. but at home, it’s a bit of a different story… i don’t wanna get too into it and all…”

me: “no, no, it’s okay, i understand.”

*arriving to the door, joe gesturing to it” “so this is steve’s door, he’s probably changing or something god knows…” *turns around, knocking on steve’s door* STEAMINNNN!!!! WE’VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND WAITING FOR YOUUU!!!”

me, turning beet red in the face:

a random stage crew popping up out of nowhere: “joe, they need you at stage 1 pronto”

joe: “ah, fuck, be right there” *takes off running after the stagecrew*

me, contemplating yelling after him: “wait! joe! you just gonna leave me stranded here?!?!” but i don’t do it.

*i freeze in place as the door opens, trying to act as casual as possible while frantically hiding my face behind my hair*

steve: *nervously laughing* you look different there joe…”

*i open an eye and push back some of my hair*

steve, eyes widening: “oh, i… i’m sorry… are you looking for someone?”

me, turning even more bright blush red than before, stammering: “uh-m uh erm…” *muttering* “fuck” *while contemplating running off and hiding*

*i take a deep breath and mumble quickly* “hi steve my name is remy i’m sorry i’m making a complete utter total casual fool of myself i was supposed to meet the band backstage like the whole band and they just talked me into meeting you here and by they i mean…” *i pause to catch my breath*

steve: “let me guess, joe and sav?”

me: “yes joe and sav WOW you knew that how did you know that?”

steve, chuckling: “it just figures, i know them, so.” *shrugs* “anyway, come on in, make yourself at home.” *motioning for me to come in and follow him into the unknown*

*me breathing a tremendous sigh of relief*

steve: “yeah, sorry about them, always playing bloody matchmaker with the girls. i feel like they do it as a deterrent, just to keep phil away from them, or attempt to, anyway, you know?”

me, still stammering, sticking out a shaky hand, “it, uh… it’s nice to uh… meet… you…” *thinking to myself* “AH I’M SO SORRY I’M PANICKING SO HARD ON THE INSIDE RIGHT NOWWWWWW”

*as i shake his hand* “sorry my palm’s a little sweaty…”

steve: “you try playing out to those crowds for two, three hours, a little palm sweat feels like nothing” *laughs*

me, feeling embarassed suddenly: “oh… sorry…?”

*as we’re walking around*

me: “so, joe and sav says that you and phil got something going on…”

steve, chuckling: “yeah, leave it to them. bastard leaves a hickey on my neck one time” *sticks a finger up* “one bloody time, and they jump to conclusions” *snaps fingers* “like that.”

me, going over to a guitar propped in the corner: “oh this guitar looks cool. is it yours?”

steve, smiling proudly and nodding: “sometimes after a gig i’ll just sit here and play, well, it’s more like practicing, cause when you’re on the road as frequent as us, you always gotta remember what your numbers are, how your sequences go…”

me, stifling a giggle: “can i touch it?” *pointing to the guitar*

steve: “yeah, yeah, sure, go right ahead!” *reaches over and grabs it by the neck, holding it out to me*

me, stroking the black beauty: “you ever name them?”

steve: “oh, phil does. he’s crazy about ‘em. but i… i dunno. i’ve never really thought about it.”

me, glancing at steve knowingly: “you should name them.”

steve: “me?”

me: “yeah! give them personalities, y’know? they’re like your babies, after all.”

steve: “my babies” *chuckling softly* “you’re right, they are my babies… i’ve got eleven more back at home that i’ve cruelly abandoned. ‘bout three i took with me, though. they’re on the bus somewhere i think.”

me, staring him down intently: “name your babies. name them.”

steve: *laughing at my enthusiasm*

thirty years later

joe calling me up: “so what did you decide to name your babies?”

me: “edie and vivienne. we were kinda banking on there to be a boy and a girl, but… two girls ain’t too shabby.”

joe: “ain’t too shabby indeed! congrats, young guns.” *chuckling*

me: “well, i certainly don’t feel 53 any time i talk to you…”

steve, popping out from a corner: “who was that babe?”

me, giggling: “uncle joe. he says lyla and harper can’t wait to meet their cousins.”

this is for @elliotts-personal-property

❤️

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frevandrest · 1 year

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I remember you posting about Hérault's "Theory of Ambition" and was curious specifically about the parts regarding his general thoughts towards women. I was wondering which type of 18th century sexism Hérault had especially since you mentioned he was weird about “feminine” traits in men as well. Thanks!

Dhfngmg I'd say it's a standard (?) 18th century sexism. The book is written by a libertine man to other men who share similar interests in life. Hérault assumes that his writer is not just a man of a specific social standing, but one who likes womanizing, hedonism, but also books and ~intellectual pursuits. In truth, the whole "Theory of Ambition" is about how to bullshit your way through life and make people like & respect you. It has a bit of tongue-in-cheek, but also cynical and opportunistic view of life. In other words, it fits nicely into what we know about Hérault.

In that sense, sexism could def be worse. There are no tips on how to get women (I suppose it's assumed that the target audience knows how to do that on their own), but some metaphors clearly show that Hérault assumes his reader to be a hoe libertine who regularly has affairs. We know this because he sometimes uses seduction metaphors when talking about other things. For example, if I recall correctly, how you should always try to see the full picture of things in order to enjoy them and not fixate on small details, just like "you don't fixate on small details on a beautiful woman, which would prevent you from enjoying her beauty". Or when he advises the reader to relax "with the help if a beautiful woman or in some similar way" (doesn't explain what that might be tho). Stuff like that.

There is very little about women themselves. There are a few lines about female vanity or how they want to be flattered, which is a pretty standard 18c speech.

I did facepalm at the male and female brains comment. But even that tells us more about 18c than Hérault, because he also adds the then-accepted ideas about physical bodies (like the womb being able to nurture but not to create new things - which was a popular idea in the 18c).

And then, yes, we also have Hérault compare and contrast men to "women and feminine men", but he sadly doesn't clarify what "feminine men" are (which means his audience knew very well and didn't need an explanation). It's probably the most interesting line in the whole book, but I am not sure what he meant by that. Especially if rumours about Hérault's own sexual practices are true (he clearly sees himself as a man, even if it's true that he fucked men, too). So, not sure how to interpret who "feminine men" are. Is it something about behaviour? Men who are receiving partners during sex? Not sure. (If anyone has a better idea, please let us know!)

All in all, Hérault's writing reflect 18c very well, and typical sexism that went with it. To his credit, he doesn't express any extreme sexist views (by 18c standards at least). He does come off as a cynic and an opportunist, and definitely one of those men who would bang anything that moves. This is sexist in that he sees all women as being basically the same (and, well, good for one thing), but also weirdly saves the text from added sexism since he doesn't go into details over how a woman should be to be considered beautiful or worthy of attention (it's implied that they all are). But any mention of women is brief. The book is supposed to be an ~intellectual manual and women have nothing to do with that, amirite?

So yeah... Not great, but there is worse stuff in 18c. I'd say Hérault is pretty standard on the 18c sexism scale. To his credit, he sees women as a source of fun times, and assumes that they see men like this, too (he doesn't view them as potential spouses or mothers because he doesn't seem interested in that, so a bit of a double standard is avoided). Like I said, I've seen worse in 18c. But I've def seen better.

#ask #anonymous #hérault

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criscura · 2 years

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only a couple of posts about chs 166 - 168 was enough for me to get sucked back into opm! Wound up reading over 80 chapters in three days and it was def worth it! love

child emperor;

child emperor & zombieman;

amai mask/zombieman 👀🙈;

garou/metalbat;

fubuki & tatsumaki;

but the real reason was genos/saitama!

Seeing sai go apeshit ballistic on the universe was delicious and i can't wait to see the effect! the speed that the mightiest hero can give into violent, anti-hero tendencies upon seeing his ❤🍆💋"friend" murdered before him to the point that he avenges him WHILE HOLDING HIS HEART IN A GLOVED HAND EVEN THOUGH HE IS OTHERWISE NAKED!!!

and i love how accurate that is! the hero can't always be there on time, but when it was most important he didn't make it. the way that sai lit rained havoc from jupiter, to the sun and back to earth is the perfect amount of destruction we needed to see when the main tether to his sanity is cut so violently in front of him.

i bet he's going to do what ever possible to be puntual now and has to examine his heart at the dark side he showed us

RIGHT?!!! RIGHT??!!!! RIGHT??!!!!!!! What little scrap was left of him after he'd lost everything, was all for Genos. It was for preserving what small bit his Sensei had managed to keep a hold of, and nothing, NOTHING, there wasn't a single thing in existence that was gonna take it away from him. His need to protect it was so strong it forced the remnant of another timeline into the current one, and like......somehow blessed it with everything he'd become in that space between what would have been, and what is. That is fucking INSANE.

It's so frustrating that he doesn't remember, though.....and somehow things are WORSE for Saitama having finally noticed Genos T0T Like. Like okay, I don't think Saitama in his heart of hearts totally forgot everything. He was way too scared to see the core in his hand when he came to in the current timeline, and too relieved to see Genos alive. He's also in surprisingly high spirits given everything that's happened. I.....I think, waaaaaayyyy down in that space Saitama doesn't like to look at, he knows he lost Genos and he's been relishing in having him back.

It's hard, though, because Genos knows he lost Genos. And...where...... Dude where the fucking hell does that put him. He either doesn't understand how important he is to Saitama and thinks Saitama lost it because everyone died, which is so upsetting to think about; or he's fully aware that, if he dies, the world is going to suffer the consequences when Saitama goes berserk, and he's going to feel even more pressure to get stronger. They're both so sad, and Genos has to shoulder all of that, ON TOP OF all of his OWN bullshit that like.... He's surviving but that boy has six cargo containers worth of trauma he needs to run through customs before he can even start to unpack them, this is not what he needs. He's only nineteen for fuck's sake T^T

Although I do gotta say--I know the rewinding time thing has been contentious, but I'm so fucking happy we got those chapters. I like Saitama, but he's so much more engaging as just some guy with the power of a god who chooses to do good, instead of this inherently good force who's always going to do the right thing no matter what. I LOVED seeing him lose it. I *****LOVED***** finding out that no, it's not that his moral compass is immovable--he is always capable of destroying everything and everyone, but he keeps himself in check. GOSH that is so much BETTER FUCK

((and yes to everyone else T0T Zombae really is coming through as a fucking GOAT, and everyone else is getting so developed..... <3<3<3))

#one punch man #one punch #opm #genos #saitama #genosai #saigenos #precious robot baby #egg on legs #talk dirty to me

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m1ckeyb3rry · 2 months

Note

Honestly I always thought the LN character choices were really random LMAO except for maybe the first two but I mean those just have all the main characters in there so…I could definitely see them sneaking kurona in there too because of all the promo they’ve kinda been doing for him?? Apparently they also choose based off popularity/who people vote for via like a hashtag on twitter/X too (apparently Barou’s addition was advocated for by the novelist/the person who writes out the LN story via main authors instruction or something)

But FR!! Even hair up Barou generally looks pretty good soooo

Hehe chatters unite!! o7

Omg horse show!!! How’d it go? And honestly for the sake of yourself and your writing I think that method is honestly sm more productive!! Like if you force yourself to write when you aren’t feeling it, it might come out worse because you’re writing in a kinda meh mindset as opposed to when you’re actually invested/interested!! So take it easy the real ones know you’re cooking up something good!! I’m also gonna take a wild guess and say you were being rushed on w***p*d LMAOO

Oooh very true…humidity makes it sm worse….manifesting South France dries up a bit ig?? LOL not sure how humid it is over there but I’d like to assume it’s not….awful….

LMAOOOO I’m excited honestly as long as he doesn’t end up 6 feet under anything’s fair game HAHA masterpieces take time don’t push yourself too hard!!

I literally lost it like WDYM??? Tbf it was one of my close friends who I was essentially “outed to” in terms of like like anime and games and manga and whatnot so I didn’t die BUT what gets me is that they themselves like using discord to communicate and organize sometimes and they touch less grass than me so I was like you did not just say that to me LMAOOO but BFB OTOYA KINNIE LMAOOOO so real I also generally keep it under covers like um I will not be exposing myself to the entire world!!!

HSHSHSSH OK IM GLAD HAHA I think for the sake of my own sanity I have the need to make sure I’m not writing down random shit too so that helps keep me in check LMAO

Also unrelated slightly but have you seen any of the latest chapter for the main manga?? I assume maybe not since you were touching grass LOL unfortunately our man is MIA but it was interesting

Longest Karasu work in existence…music to my ears LMAO balancing the scales and making up for like the billions of fics overcrowding the it*shi tags HAHAHA

Anyways going back to continue Barou’s LN!! Ok I’m glad I translated because I remember seeing those screenshots or clips floating around where it talked about Barou’s dad not being home because he was working and from that perspective I was a bit more sympathetic to his father but after reading I’m like hm he doesn’t really have any interest in being a dad at all…so I’m glad that was cleared up because I originally thought that to be the case then saw a snippet and I was like oh maybe his dad is a really good dad but just has to be really busy to help provide but now I’m like oh er nvm I was right ig….but Barou liking dinosaurs and predators is so on brand HAHAHAAH I almost lost it after reading how he fell with his teacher off the playset and bro really said “you asked for it” and walked away while his teacher broke like five bones

-Karasu anon

they definitely are so random HAHAH but if it’s based on popularity then tabieita + kurona would def make sense!! although i’m surprised that aryu made it before karasu if it really is based on that…like i didn’t even know aryu had fans LMAO 😭 the more you know ig

BONA FIDE CHATTERS UNION OVER HERE 😏🔥 the show went rlly well!! we got two firsts and we were the highest scoring pair in the entire show…we also finally got scores above 70 which was super exciting as that’s pretty hard to do especially given that the pony i’ve been riding as of late is on the older side and used to be wild so he’s not quite as fancy (although he is SOOO cute)!! overall v productive day i was very happy with how it went

i agree i think if my heart isn’t in a story it’s just not going to go well because i won’t be connected to the characters and to be honest if i’m not connected w the characters i can’t tell how they’d react in any given situation which is so integral to how i write that i literally can’t do it if i’m not into what i’m writing for 😭 surprisingly the one i’ve been most bothered abt is one that i only posted on here and ao3!! it was insane though because like i had a lot of free time so sometimes i’d update every day or every other day but then people got SO demanding?? like after three or four days i’d get asks like “when are you going to update??” HELLO IT’S NOT EVEN BEEN A WEEK YET i truly think that part of the reason why i lost motivation for that story is just how annoyed i got by that kinda thing…i feel bad sometimes because i got to be very short in my responses but i like to think i’m pretty nice for the most part and atp i was so over it 😫 at one point someone sent me an ask abt that story LITERALLY the day after someone else asked about it and i told them idk when i’ll update and please stop asking me abt it so i just said “do you want me to kill myself be honest” which looking back was a little unnecessary but i was so pressed 😔 at least people got the hint after that though HAHAHA the amt of asks i get abt it is much less now thankfully

PLSSS i decided not to make him drown after all but there is a swimming scene so you have that to look forward to 🤩 also as promised the update is here: we are officially over 12k words and karasu just graduated elementary school so he’s roughly 12 years old based on the japanese system LMAOO…truly this one will be a bit of a doozy but you’re so right it’s what the world needs to cancel out the sheer amount of works certain other characters the itoshi brothers get…we’re finally getting past the childhood part a bit which i’m excited abt because there’s only so much you can write abt kids being dumb before it begins to feel repetitive 😭 they truly don’t have much going on in their lives atp but now that karasu is entering middle school there will finally be a bit more drama

bfb otoya is me i am him 😰 i don’t even mind when people find out i don’t touch grass as much as they think i do but for sure i tend to not tell them right off the bat…and the fact that i write fanfiction is reserved for the elite circle ONLY and even then i just don’t mention it because like that’s just not smth the world needs to know abt me

i think i have!! it’s just more baby rin and then it cuts to him entering destroyer mode in the game right or is there more because that’s all i’ve seen…heartbroken that there were no karasu crumbs but the next epinagi chapter will be out soon i think so we will see him (and otoya) in full glory there at least 🤭 ironically rin’s backstory made me feel more empathetic for sae than it did elicit any emotions in me for rin…like bro was the father that stepped up at age 10 or smth tf 😭 also the way their dad led him away when he said he broke the toys was lowkey mad ominous…also the way rin has just been like this from the start 😰 before you could be like “okay he’s traumatized from sae that’s why he goes crazy on the field/during u20” but NO he genuinely was born that way LMAOAOA omg (jokes aside i’m sure there’s analysis to be made abt rin’s character w these few chapters but i don’t care enough abt him to be the one analyzing him like that…i’m sure there’s plenty of other accounts who’ll do it for me HAHA i have random side characters to obsess over in the meantime)

BAROU LN IS SO FUNNY BUT ALSO SO SAD pls the thing abt the teacher killed me he was such a sassy kid and for WHAT 😭 no i agree i saw snippets that said his dad had just had a heart attack and that was why he was so absent?? but no he actually just had no interest in being a parent 😓 BAROU WOULD NEVER THOUGH i just know he would be the number one dad in bllk especially because he knows exactly what not to do thanks to his own father

#answered asks #best friend’s brother fic

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 10 months

Note

Soooooo, didja see the thing about P5T being confirmed to be non-canon?

Literally JUST woke up to it. TT0TT (link to those who wanna read) I....I'm....livid. I want my money back then! I literally said I buy these games for the lore/chars/story, which means it's gotta be canon.

*inhales* *exhales* You know what? I brought this on myself. Everyone was saying the game's char writing was much better. I thought to myself "oh god, am I....gonna actually ENJOY P5 for once??? Past Kamoshida??? This can't be. But even if the char writing is great for THIS, it still doesn't fix the shit I've had to deal with since then. Haha what if I just pretend this is an Alt timeline P5? :'D Yeah that'll help the cognitive dissonance haha" Oh wait I did post about it (for once I remembered to):

Well.....

Fuck me I guess (please excuse the poor photoshop. I only have MS paint in front of me).

You know what? Fuck the stages of grief! I ain't grieving! When life gives you lemon you fuck those lemons! I'M STILL GOING TO HAVE FUN!

THis story IS CANON!

"B-but Silly! The devs said-" I know what the devs said! They said it's not canon to the P5 storyline we KNOW! It's canon to it's own storyline! Aka, it's just a different continuity! ahahahahahha!

YOu see that Atlus? Haha you did something I wanted! For you to play with the different timelines????? Hahahahahaha I still win! I still get to play with where it could fall in that time frame! I still- *sobs*

Ok before I play with the timeline a bit, I want to say....it's INCREDIBLY SHITTY of Atlus not to warn people that it's an alt timeline (I'm viewing these timelines as kinda like the Pokemon Ash Anime vs the Pokemon I Choose You movie timelines, or just any of the Pokemon Manga)

It def would've fucked the sales over but it's just........it feels RUDE to the consumers. Esp since this is WORSE THAN A MEMORY WIPE! At least with Memory wipes (MW), MWs can at least be used in the narrative later. (such as how Arena/Q1/Ultimax work and are kind of a mini trilogy, Q1 explains how the P3/4 cast trust and get along so fast within less than a 24 hour timeframe, it's cause they already had Q1 to bond!)

But a completely separate canon? We need more context! I've been playing with the idea that the P3/4 casts (not including FeMC) are from a diff timeline as the P3/4 casts from PQ1. So in theory PQ1 and PQ2 can happen fairly close to each other, or they don't and the Q event that happens depends on a timeline. But that's something we kinda need to know.

Ok ok, so here's my updated timeline (ignoring P3R bc I just KNOW they are scorching the earth with that, you'll probs see some similarities with my prev Persona timelines as well as this one too, this one is more simplified down):

Very sloppy and hurried in my defense. I'm half tempted to put P3R on it's own timeline. So to clarify, I'm not saying P5T and P5D parallel each other exactly, but it's a similar timeframe iirc. And I know P5D takes place DURING P5/R, but it was just easier to show in the timeline, so it's more of a list of "game order" rather than super specific times.

And I KNOW that versions can also vary, I already did a timeline like that linked above (more so the first link, note the 2nd link was more when we weren't 100% sure P5 took place in 2016). Maybe later I can make it super specific again but.....not right now.

Also P5X is more of a theory, but this whole timeline is a theory so eh!

Persona Trinity Soul was declared an Alt canon to the games, so it shouldn't really be on this game time timeline about the games.....but it makes it easier to showcase the different timelines and similar events. (in general movies/anime/manga/stage plays all have their own separate canon too, PTS just gets a liiiiitle special treatment since it was originally a sequel to P3 prior to P4's release. PTS is just in a similar boat as P5T, haha both have T in it, and maybe P3P tho we know 100% P3P is canon to the games we just see different continuities.)

Ok theorizing aside........ I guess I'm going to have to approach this game differently.......

Now do I go about it with a clean slate? Or do I just "assume the best possible actions/writing were taken into consideration prior to these events" (aka Makoto isn't an asshole and is better written in dungeon 3 and onwards, and Futaba totally did get her heart stolen, and we TOTALLY DID listen to the public about Oku and TOTALLY DIDN'T also do it for Haru yup 100% blame on the public and ourselves for listening >_>)....I'm pretty sure the game has lied to me a handful of times prior to the tutorial, do I just take those as new truths now?

Should I juggle it being a new slate AND also remembering what happened in the actual P5 so I can point out the lies-I MEAN ahem "differences"?

Well at least it'll give me an interesting way to approach it. "Do you still want your money back?" Yeah a bit wtf atlus you made a mess of everything with that interview. TT0TT

#i haven't read the whole article just that section #i went through the stages of grief faster than I could type so sorry for the mood whiplash #i'm playing 5d chess with atlus stupid phrasing so don't mind me TT0TT #silly asks #silly answers #i will not be gaslit p5 #just wait this'll b my fav entry and it wont even be canon kflajsfdlk;fja #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and this was the day I was planning on actually playing it AND THEY DO THIS TO ME KLFJSAKDFLJA TT0TT

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katierosefun · 2 years

Note

hi caroline can i vent to you a lil bit? i just saw a post with a terrible take about BE and juwon part specifically irked me, probably due to personal experience, so i wanted to share my pov with you.

the post -among many other things- said that juwon had ocd and it was terrible that the writers went "yeah let's just force him to stop by the end of it" and tbh I didn't get it, i always thought that when juwon said "mysophobia, I don't have it" he was right. ocd is an anxiety related issue and my boi definitely has that and it's quite bad yeah. But i always felt like it was due to the fact he was striving to uphold the standards of perfection his father has been projecting onto him since he was a kid. As much as juwon hated him he still tried his best to do everything he could in order to get some sort of praise or acknowledgment from his absent father. So that's why in the end he slowly learns to let go of all of that, he must have felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He's a complex multidimensional character and both the writer and the director did a brilliant job with BE.

Sorry if i bothered you, I'm probably exactly like that post "why do you like him?" or smth and with ds it's just "look at him❤️" and with jw it's an entire paragraph. yup relatable indeed aldhakd

hi anon! oh, i think i know the post you're talking about, because i remember reading something along those lines pretty early when i was getting into beyond evil . . .

also, this got long. maybe because i have a lot of thoughts + also because i wound up talking more about mental illness rep in beyond evil as a whole:

but like. hm. yes, i absolutely agree with you because while i might not have ocd myself, i do have family members + friends with ocd, and i also have pretty severe anxiety + i used to struggle with an eating disorder, which overlapped with some ocd tendencies (at least, according to what my friends/family struggling with ocd told me from their own perception of me). because of that, i absolutely saw joo won and his tendencies and realized that. like. yeah, a lot of his behaviors can absolutely stem from anxiety-driven issues like ocd.

i think what makes me personally upset about the kind of "ugh the writers just dropped joo won's ocd storyline" is that it totally misses the fact that not all mental illnesses or disabilities are quite the same. because mental illnesses like ocd or anxiety disorder or panic attack disorder are actually mental illnesses that people want to better cope with/somehow heal from. when i was younger, i remember being told by someone who was also struggling with similar mental illnesses as mine that "yeah, you're never gonna get 'better'--this thing is gonna stick with you forever", and as a teenager, that really made me scared about like. oh my god. am i going to personally be living this weird half-life for the rest of my days? that's terrible.

but of course, that's not true! yeah, people with mental illnesses like ocd, anxiety, depression, etc--they all struggle from time to time, and that def. all varies with different degrees of stress (ie. my own anxiety and depression gets significantly worse when i've encountered a triggering situation, and my own past eating disorder tendencies like to pop in when i'm feeling stressed out with work/school/etc). but the thing about these mental illnesses is that you can get better, usually with the help of therapy, medication, a support system and, as cheesy as it sounds (but it's true!), compassion and love for yourself.

in the case of han joo won, who has clearly never had a very stable family or friends situation, it would make sense that his own ocd or other unspecified mental illness would be pretty severe at the start of the show. we've seen how he was raised, even if only for 5 minutes--we see his interactions with his father. it seems that his family also has some history of mental illness too, given how his mom was.

but the great thing about the show is that over the course of the series, joo won gets some greater sense of support and love than he had felt in his entire life. even when he was still being a jerk, the station was so accommodating to joo won (ie. chief nam cleaning out the bathroom for joo won if he wanted to take a shower, and then even later, ji hwa telling jae yi that wait, inspector han needs new bowls in a totally nonjudgmental manner).

the thing about han joo won no longer struggling as severely with his ocd is simply because he's received more support. he's found people who seem to genuinely care about him, and i think along the way, he subconsciously started to let go of his tendencies. his entire dirty history is out there--and unlike han ki hwan, who was so obsessed with perfection, the manyang gang love and appreciate han joo won anyways, annoying attitude + messy mistakes + all. ofc, love doesn't "fix" a mental illness, but it helps one get better, because that's what a support system is all about.

it's also worth noting that, like, beyond evil is a show that's very conscious about the discussion around mental illnesses. dong sik pretty clearly struggles with some kind of ptsd, and jeong je pretty clearly struggles with his own depression, and even oh ji hoon's mentioned in passing about struggling with depression. but what i like about beyond evil is that writer kim su jin and director shim na yeon and the entire cast also seemed pretty intent about those depictions of mental illness--oh ji hoon's a pretty sunshine-y looking guy, for starters, all smiles and cheer, which is the exact opposite people assume of those struggling with depression. (the most frustrating thing a depressed person can hear is oh, you don't look like you have depression though?) as for dong sik, we see him pretty clearly struggling on his own (crying alone in the basement, tucking himself away when he's grieving, the fact that he sleeps on the couch without any heat speaks volumes about how little he cares about himself), but as soon as he's around friends or his loved ones, he automatically puts on a whole act. as for jeong je, we see that he's a pretty timid guy, maybe the kind of more expected representation we see of depression and/or anxiety, but maybe that makes a little more sense, given his relationship with an overbearing mother who never really . . . allowed him to heal or get better, even despite sending him to all those doctors.

in short, i think that it's pretty unfair + also kinda narrow-minded to act like writer kim su jin dropped joo won's ocd line. she's been super intentional with everything in beyond evil, and the fact that joo won slowly loosens up on his tendencies was just another factor that really demonstrated how he'd started to get more comfortable around people who actually liked him for who he is, not for this perfect, logical robot that he was pressured into being. human beings are messy! for han joo won, who cries when he's frustrated or angry or getting scolded, being loved and respected and liked gave him enough reason to let go of his own ocd tendencies and get better.

#answered #anon #beyond evil #hm. yeah.#i just know that if beyond evil came out when i was in high school #i would have just cried through every episode bc yeah anon #i look at han joo won esp in the beginning of the show #and i see a lot of what i used to be like when i was really deeply struggling with my own mental illnesses #just like. very closed off. and very much so. uncomfortable with eating with people #or getting dirty or anything #also like fun fact but when i was a kid #i remember having a panic attack because someone hugged me and they had dirt on their shirt #like imagine a little 8 year old girl suddenly going white in the face and whispering that she was having a heart attack #because someone. with literally. two specks of dirt on their shirt. hugged them.#i mean i remember someone laughing at me about that #and none of my teachers would take me seriously and they thought i was just being dramatic and prissy #but like no i remember throwing up as soon as i got home too #so like. hm. yes. han joo won. i understand him.#tw mental illness #tw panic attack #oops this got personal but i feel like. this anecdote. explains at least a little more.#because yes han joo won being represented that way is actually very much so spot on

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mello-jello · 3 years

Note

hi jello!! what about post timeskip levihan? commander hanji is working very hard and rarely, rarely sleeps (let alone eats and bathes properly. its worse than before now though.).

what if one time levi discovers hanji passed tf out due to sheer exhaustion in the most weird and random of places. he doesn’t want to wake them up bc hanji def needs the rest so he carries/tucks her into bed.🥺❤️

JAZZY thank you for the prompt! I kind of combined it with this one too:

Thank you, Anon!

Preview:

Hange gave a small laugh before saying, “Thank you Levi, I feel much better now.”

“Tch, you haven’t even done what we came here to do,” Levi scoffed.

Hange made a confused sound.

“Drop the dish.”

It had been 3 years since Shiganshina. Levi climbed into the carriage and sat across from Hange, who was still reading through her notes from the long and grueling meeting that lasted for the better part of the day. All the highest ranking military officials had been called to the capital to discuss Paradis’s best course of action. Queen historia was there, along with her staff, advisors, and of course Zackley. Levi had been to plenty of these meetings before, but this time was different in a bit of a distressing way.

Over the years, Levi had watched Erwin defend the scouts countless times. From questionable means of gathering information, to explaining away hundreds of lives lost, he always had an answer for everything and he always managed to leave with a favourable image. It was something Levi truly admired and even envied about Erwin.

But now he had been watching Hange flounder. She has indeed improved over the last 3 years, but she still doubts herself and while it might not be known to those around her, Levi can’t help but feel sympathetic to her situation. Today however, the other officials had been particularly ruthless.

“Take a break, Hange,” Levi ordered. Hange just sighed. Then her stomach growled. “Have you eaten today?”

“Uuuuuuuhhh,” Hange mused as she genuinely struggled to remember.

“Tch, there’s your answer,” Levi crossed his arms. The rest of the officials had a big dinner scheduled for tonight, but of course the Survey Corps got shafted and had to leave early in order to prepare. Hange met his eyes again with an exhausted look he was all too familiar with.

“How have you been sleeping?”

“Not great,” she admitted. Levi’s stomach sank. He had dealt with his own insomnia his whole life, but it seems worse on Hange. Perhaps it was the stark contrast from her former bubbly and loud personality. Hange pinched the bridge of her nose and let out another long sigh. Levi couldn’t help feeling inadequate and helpless. He rarely got himself to sleep, how could he help Hange?

Levi looked out the window at the setting sun when he got an idea. He realized what Hange had been neglecting while trying to be a good commander. Something that wasn’t just eating and sleeping. Something that was unique to Hange.

“Hange, there’s one more thing you need to do before we leave.”

Hange raised an eyebrow.

Levi told the driver to wait for them and escorted Hange to the dining hall.

“Levi, we were technically invited, but I don’t think showing up for food after we already said goodbye is a very good look for us,” Hange practically whispered.

Levi opened the doors and they were greeted with a sweet aroma of bread, appetizers, and whatever was going to be the main dish. Hange’s mouth watered. The long elegant table was decorated with ornate candles, beautiful china, crystal glasses, and there were 4 sets of cutlery for each place setting.

“Relax, they won’t be here just yet. They will all be busy getting dressed for dinner.”

Hange grabbed a bread roll and took a huge bite, not bothering to chew before she commented, “I never understood ‘dressing for dinner’ ugh. What’s the point?”

Levi was about to make a half hearted comment about how Hange could never fit in with “civilized” society, but he stopped himself when he saw she was eating and was a little bit more relaxed. He found a small plate of savoury looking appetizers and handed it to her. She immediately took one.

“MMM, Levi!” she exclaimed, pointing at the plate. She popped another in her mouth before saying, “you gotta try these!”

Levi put up a hand and said, “you enjoy.”

Hange enthusiastically cleared the whole platter in less than a minute, and Levi was watching her, endeared at the behaviour. He had missed this side of her. Despite how gross it was, there was a glimpse of the carefree Hange he once knew. A small hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Then Hange belched.

“Disgusting,” Levi waved the air in front of his nose.

Hange gave a small laugh before saying, “Thank you Levi, I feel much better now.”

“Tch, you haven’t even done what we came here to do,” Levi scoffed.

Hange made a confused sound.

“Drop the dish.”

Hange’s one eye widened as she processed what Levi was saying.

“C’mon, you need to blow off some steam. They were total assholes to you today, and for what? You didn’t know the exact amount of your food budget? And yet,” Levi gestured to the banquet. He then picked up a delicate looking wine glass. He held his arm outstretched, and loosened his grip, letting it crash to the ground. “Oops.”

A mischievous smile stretched across Hange’s lips. “Oops,” she mimicked Levi and let the empty platter fall to the floor, breaking into dozens of pieces. She slowly started to lap around the long luxurious set up, like a predator admiring her prey before pouncing.

“Right? And Nile, ugh, what a hypocrite! Giving me shit for not knowing about that small thing, belittling me in front of everyone,” Hange snapped a salad plate against the edge of the table. “It wasn’t too long ago when he would have been the first to admit he had no idea what the first interior squad were up to! We had to find out for ourselves. Erwin was almost hanged!” Hange kicked a chair over on its side.

“Yeah, fuck Nile,” Levi egged her on. He took a seat at the head of the table and started sipping from one of the water glasses.

“Is this his spot?”

Levi shrugged but Hange was already pouring out a glass of wine all over the white seat, staining it a deep crimson. Levi hid his delight behind another sip.

“And did you catch what he said at the end? ‘Some of us have wives to get home to’”, she imitated in a mocking tone as she casually pushed a platter of dumplings off the table. “Yeah, run home, Nile. Run home to Erwin’s SLOPPY SECONDS!”

Levi blew water out of his nose, and before he could react, Hange reached under the short side of the table and flipped it over, sending its contents hurtling across the room. Hange was elated at the result, laughing almost maniacally.

“Idiot,” Levi hissed, grabbing Hange’s wrist and leading her out the side door. He heard footsteps, and so he instinctively dove into nearby shrubbery, taking Hange down with him.

They hid in the bushes for minutes, Levi pressing his hand to suppress Hange’s uncontrollable laughter. It had been so long since she’d laughed like this. It was infectious and Levi might have actually laughed himself, were it not for the fear of getting caught. He had no problem telling the MPs where to shove it, but he didn’t want Hange to get in trouble. Her whole body was convulsing, and it was rattling the leaves around her. Levi used all his body weight to stop her jerky movements.

After about another minute of total silence, Hange tapped Levi’s arm, signalling to let go. He was hesitant, but he obliged. Hange drew a couple deep breaths, fanning herself, trying to calm down from laughing so hard. Levi was transfixed by the way the moonlight danced on her tear-stained face. They stared at each other for a moment before Hange snickered once more, causing Levi to cover her mouth yet again. “You’re impossible,” he said, pushing her head back down.

Once the coast was clear, they ran back to their carriage, hand in hand. Partly because Levi wanted Hange to keep up, and partly because it felt nice to hold her hand. They ducked their heads until they were off of the main roads. A few minutes later, Hange started giggling again.

“What?” Levi asked.

Hange bit her lip playfully as she reached into her coat and pulled out a bottle of expensive wine she must have swiped from the banquet.

Levi rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help his smile. She looked like a child that just got away with stealing more dessert. She looked joyful for the first time in a long time. She yanked out the cork and took a swig before offering the bottle to Levi. He graciously accepted and tasted the wine for himself. It was too sweet for his taste, but he couldn’t deny that it was spectacular.

“That’s nice,” he commented.

“Pfft! It tastes the same as the cheap stuff!” Hange scoffed as she took the bottle back. Any other time, Levi would have teased her and started an argument, but not today. He wanted to cherish this moment. He leaned over to look at the stars through his window. Not a bad ending to an otherwise terrible day.

After Shiganshina, he and Hange had lost so much. Their comrades, friends; life as they knew it had completely changed and they barely had a moment’s breather to come to grips with it all. Levi was unfortunately accustomed to it, but Hange wasn’t. Hange had been so strong through all of this and Levi wanted to find the right words to tell her. Maybe it was the exhaustion they both felt; maybe it was the close proximity, but for some reason, somehow, Levi felt a tiny bit of courage surge through his veins.

“Hey, Hange, I-”

When he turned to look at her, she was fast asleep, neck crooked as she cradled the bottle of wine. Levi smiled at her. She looked peaceful, like she was getting quality sleep. He took the bottle from her arms and gently maneuvered her to a more comfortable, lying down position. He removed his jacket and draped it over her, as a make-shift blanket.

“Goodnight, Four-Eyes,” he mumbled to himself and returned to his seat. Hange slept the whole way home. When they finally arrived in the southern barracks, Levi couldn’t bring himself to wake her up. He quickly ran their luggage up to their rooms, and came back for Hange.

Being as gentle as he could, he scooped up the commander and ignored the curious look he got from the carriage driver. She was taller than him, and her long limbs made the trek a little difficult, but he was determined. Her steady breaths tickled the skin of his neck.

He carried her up the winding staircase and into her quarters. He lowered her on the bed, careful not to go too fast. He cradled her head for a split second longer than he needed too. He took off her long boots one at a time, placing them silently on the floor at the end of the bed. He undid the top two buttons of her jacket and shirt, just for comfort. Then he pulled the blanket up to her chin, and tucked around the sides.

Finally, he removed her glasses and eyepatch, caressing the tender skin underneath. Placing them on her night stand, he got up to leave. The door hinge creaked as he opened it, and Hange stirred.

“Mmm Levi?” She called out.

Levi wasn’t sure if she was actually awake, or if she was sleep-talking. He was still deciding whether he should answer when she continued, “Thank you, Levi. For everything.”

“You too, Hange,” he spoke just above a whisper, as he closed her door.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction #fluff

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mviswidow · 4 years

Text

what if we did?

Thérèse Raquin x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: slightly suggestive, but otherwise, just fluff

Summary: After having to make excuses to spend time alone together for far too long, Thérèse proposes that she and R run away together.

A/N: i loved writing this so much omg, thérèse is def one of my top 3 fav lizzie characters and she’s so sweet. if you haven’t see in secret, i highly recommend it. i also tagged wanda in this for exposure because the movie isn’t very well known but the lizzie/wanda stans might enjoy this (i also write for wanda, a few other lizzie characters, and like a bunch more people btw). i also couldn’t find a gif for this, so i just used a photo <3

“Madame?” Thérèse calls out after pulling away from your lips when she hears footsteps on the metal spiral stairs.

“I’m bringing tea up for you ladies, it should help with your migraine Thérèse,” She replied, and continued walking up the stairs.

Simultaneously, Thérèse’s eyes and yours widened. You backed away from her after she pecked your lips again, whimpering quietly, and pulled her towards the vanity, ushering her onto the chair and starting to rub her neck.

When the door to the bedroom opened, you and Thérèse both gave Madame Raquin innocent smiles. She conversed with Thérèse for a short while as you took the tea from her and set it on the surface of the vanity, putting sugar in yours.

“I think I might take a nap, Madame, my migraine is getting worse,” Thérèse said, which caught your attention.

“And Y/n? Are you going home?” She asked, now talking to you.

“I, uh-” You shot Thérèse a look before blinking a few times, trying to formulate a response, but coming up with no excuse to stay. “I suppose I should if there’s no reason-”

“No,” Thérèse interrupted suddenly, and you had half the mind to groan at how obvious you felt you were being, but you knew the last thing Madame would ever think was that her ‘dear Thérèse’ was a lesbian.

Madame raised her eyebrows, urging Thérèse to say something.

“I mean, it’s silly to send Y/n all the way home when she’ll have to return tonight for dominos with us. She can borrow a book and read- or she could nap with me? It’s that time of the month for you, isn’t it Y/n? You were complaining about your cramps earlier, weren’t you?” Thérèse gave a look, and you stopped yourself from smirking. She lies so easily.

You nodded in agreement, “Yes, Madame, my stomach has been feeling terrible today.”

She sighed and shook her head, “If it’ll have you both feeling better for tonight, I suppose there’s no harm in a nap. I’ll be back in two hours if you haven’t already woken up, we don’t want you sleeping for too long, you both have to be appropriately dressed when Camille and Laurent arrive early.”

You looked over at Thérèse and watched her bite back a smile as she nodded.

Your heart raced a little as Madame looked around the room halfheartedly, hoping she wouldn’t think too much of the state the bedsheets of Camille and Thérèse’s marriage bed were in already. She took her leave after telling Thérèse to drink the tea before she napped and closed the door behind her.

Thérèse immediately let out a breath, resting her head on her hand, “It’s getting harder to keep coming up with excuses, Y/n.”

“I know,” You nodded and kneeled beside her, resting your head in her lap the same way you had done earlier that morning and she unpinned your hair from its bun before threading her fingers through your locks gently. “We got lucky this time though, remember what you said to me? ‘I want to fall asleep in your arms, I want to touch your body while you sleep, I want to wake up with your tongue inside-’” You quoted, before she giggled and nudged you.

“Yes, yes, of course I remember.”

“Well we can do two of those things now,” You lifted your head from her lap and smiled softly up at her.

She bit her lip and nodded, “I would love that.”

She looked so beautiful. “I could attempt the third but I would actually like to take a nap, too.”

Thérèse rolled her eyes playfully and put sugar in her tea, stirred it, and started to drink it before speaking, “If you don’t drink your tea Madame will be annoyed when she comes back up here.”

You groaned and stood from where you were kneeling, “I’ll have it, just let me get my torturous skirts off.”

Thérèse chuckled, you always complained about your skirts. At least thrice a week. “You know,” she started, watching you undress to your undergarments. “Considering how many times we’ve almost been caught, we’re quite lucky. And now we’ve been presented with this amazing opportunity to have an excuse to not be in clothes together, but we’re sleeping.”

“Did I do so good earlier that you need me again already?” You teased with a raised brow. “Besides, it isn’t like we can be naked-”

“Yes but we have the timeee,” She interrupted.

Your smirk fell a little and you sighed, running your fingers back through your hair, you thought she’d be excited at the opportunity to actually be able sleep beside you.

Thérèse wasn’t stupid though, and she could read you well, so she took your hands into hers and pulled you to sit on her lap, resting her chin on your shoulder, “I’m sorry, my love. I do want to sleep next to you, we can go again another time. I just feel like we barely get to do anything and now we have so much time. I just want to enjoy it with you.”

You nodded and kissed her nose, “I know, darling, it’s okay. Sometimes I wish we could just-”

“Run away?” She asked, and you noticed the gleam in her eye as she said it.

“Yes, exactly.”

“What if.. What if we did?”

You wanted to scoff because you didn’t think you’d be able to pull it off, but you saw the hopeful look in her eyes and you knew in that moment you would do whatever it took to give her the world.

Thérèse smiled when you didn’t reject her idea immediately, “I know, it would take a lot of planning and preparation, but I’ve been thinking about it.”

“I could ask Laurent to buy us train tickets,” You suggested.

She started to shake her head, “He would know where we’re going then, I don’t want him to tell Camille or Madame, we’d be done for if they found out.”

“My brother wouldn’t tell. He’s already asked about us, I didn’t confirm or deny anything, but he said he’s glad to see us both happy.”

Thérèse bit her lip and sighed softly, “If you trust him-”

“I do.”

She nodded and smiled. You felt your heart flutter and you leaned forward to kiss her tenderly before speaking against her lips, yours brushing hers as you spoke, “We could go somewhere quiet, buy a house or an apartment, it would have to be small-”

“I’d live in a shoebox if it meant I could be with you forever.”

“Then it’s settled?” You asked, pulling back to look her in the eyes.

Thérèse nodded her head eagerly and her eyes got watery, “Yes.”

#thérèse raquin #therese raquin #therese pls marry me #i love her so much #thérèse raquin x reader #therese raquin x reader #thérèse raquin oneshot #therese raquin oneshot #wlw imagines #sapphic #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #in secret #lizzie olsen #wanda maximoff x reader #female x female #period piece #victorian era lesbians

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whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst · 3 years

Text

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

#whomst #ultimate note #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle #dmemebj

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 4 years

Text

The Hangover (Def Leppard x Reader)

(Happy birthday to my blog!! To celebrate 3 years of the place where I concentrate my insane Leppard obsession, I thought I’d celebrate by posting the FIRST Def Leppard fanfic I EVER wrote ((which I have NEVER posted anywhere before!)) I began writing this exactly 3 years ago today- the day I made this blog ((February 19th, 2018))- and officially finished it about a year later. This is not intended as a romantic/sexual fic, it’s simply just an x reader in which the reader is basically one of the guys. In other words, it’s on crack.)

((I am aware this is kind of cringe-worthy at times... but I still like a lot of things about it. While I revised it very slightly before queuing it, I was still 16 when I started writing this, okay... gimme a break...))

(Illustration by @paper-sxn)

Words: 8,684 Prompt: Dublin, 1984. You’re with the Leppards in their early pre-Hysteria era house. You all wake up with hangovers after a boozed-up night at home, and you each try to put the pieces of the previous night back together. Meanwhile, you’re praying that one particular piece won’t fit in anywhere... (partially inspired by the “Blitzgiving” and “The Pineapple Incident” episodes of How I Met Your Mother)

-----

Gently piercing white light made its way through the windows of the bedroom. It hit your eyelids, and it hit your brain, igniting a brief but killer headache. As your eyes clasped together more, you turned your face into the gloriously soft pillow. For a second you asked yourself why you would have a headache so early in the morning, but then…

You laughed quietly into the bed, recalling without warning some vague happenings from the night before. There wasn’t much you remembered, but you clearly saw the image of the guys flat out drunk at some point (you along with them). There were some blips of you all singing together, Sav hanging from a door frame, you chugging some scotch, Joe chugging some vodka, Steve’s hair being in pigtails, and you think Phil might’ve been giving you a lap dance... or vice versa. It was, all in all, hysterical (at least- that’s what you wanted to think).

Other than those faint events, unfortunately, the night was gone. Still, you were thrilled that it happened. Crazy times with your boys were always good.

You rubbed your eyes, ready for more sleep to combat the pounding in your head. When you did, they opened a little, and you realized… this wasn't your room you were in. Squinting around, you noticed that you were sleeping in Phil’s room instead of yours.

Oh, it’s not that much of a problem, you mused, I’m sure he doesn’t mind. I’ve woken up to worse in this place.

You let your eyes close again easily, and you found peace as you began to fall under again. That is, until you felt someone move next to you.

When it happened, you became aware of the warmth coming from someone else in the bed. They only shifted in their sleep a little bit before going still again. Your eyes went wide, and you held your breath. You don’t remember getting into bed with someone (in fact, you don’t remember getting into bed at all). Turning your head, you looked to see what sort of stranger was in bed with you currently. Instead of a stranger, scraggly blonde hair over a kind and shy face met your sight, and you were instantly calmed upon realizing that it was just Steve. That was good, that was good, but why were you and Steve sleeping in Phil’s bed? You were sure you didn’t have sex last night- at least, not with Steve. This tiny moment of appeasement and confusion was cut short by the faint sound of guitar chords coming from downstairs. The music echoed to your ears, signaling that it had to be Phil, and that he was playing the opening to Bringin On the Heartbreak. Cautiously taking the covers off you- not wanting to wake Steve- you felt obliged to go to the other guitarist. When you stood up and began walking, you nearly fell forward from the sudden vertigo of your hangover. You had to hold onto the counter of Phil’s dresser for extra support, and that’s when your reflection in his mirror caught your eye. Not only that, but that’s when your outfit also caught your eye. One of the guys’ Union Jack tank tops had been slipped over you somehow, and two hand prints were on either side of your face in dried paint; one was blue, one was green. "What…?“ you whispered, touching your face and feeling the shirt on you. It seemed to fit you alright, which made you wonder whose it really was. You were also in black underwear, and nothing else. While eyeing yourself, you took notice of Steve in the reflection. You now saw a few big red lipstick stains on his face, untouched and unsmudged. It was pretty cute, you had to admit, but another thing that came to your attention was that it wasn’t you who was wearing the lipstick at the moment. So then who kissed Steve all over his face? You treaded carefully down the hallway, putting one foot in front of the other and dragging a hand on the wall for support. The melody of the distant guitar didn’t cease the whole time you trekked through the house to get to Phil. When the chords of the song dragged on to the part where the vocals should have begun, no vocals came. Everything in the house looked remarkably the same (despite everything you remember from last night). There were large, ripped pieces of cardboard in the middle of the hallway; scattered out as if leaving a trail. Alongside that, there was a piece of paper labeled “pay 2 the orerr of Rick: one fuckin bendee straw” in what may have been Sav’s handwriting on top of the stairs, and blue paint smudged on the railing going downwards (guaranteeing that whoever did that eventually got to your face, too).

Step by step you descended as the scenery of the house teetered around you (a little too reminiscent of Me & My Wine, you would add). When you reached the bottom of the stairs and looked into the living room, sure enough, Phil was there, strumming away.

“But it’s easy come and easy go…” he hummed.

“You’re…” you mumbled, burped a little, and continued, “Awake. How?” He stopped playing and crossed his arms, quietly sassing you, “Ah, she rises again. You regrettin’ anything yet?” You blinked and rubbed your eyes, scratching a little bit of paint off of your face and inquiring in a scratchy, tired tone, “I guess so… but- how? You, how?” Phil took off his guitar and stood up with his hands in his pockets, “Because I barely drank at all last night, and I also sure as hell didn’t shag Steve in someone else’s bed!” “How do you mean- I didn’t- wait- and Steve- what?” you rubbed your head, getting dizzy, causing Phil to guide you to the couch. “I didn’t- I didn’t shag Steve last night,” you insisted. “Mm hmm,” the guitarist hummed disapprovingly, “Alright.” “What the hell are you on about?” Phil smirked evilly and laughed, “He carried you upstairs, we heard the door close, and then some rather happy noises were heard, so we all just assumed-!” “That’s not-” you swallowed and lay your head back on the couch, “-a valid assumption.” “Oh, you poor thing,” came the sarcastic remark, “You really don’t remember, do you?” “Well I figured if I ever fucked any one of you I would- you know- remember it!” you raised your voice at him, then rubbed your temples. “I’m touched, really. But I’ll fill you in a bit,” Phil yanked up his guitar he’d put down, placed himself next to you, and played the into to “Ballroom Blitz”. Then a bit of the night came back to you. “Oh... that’s what started it all, didn’t it?”

~The night before~ Rick began banging out a tune on his drum kit in the house with you, Sav, and Steve sitting close by, them being at the ready with their guitars. “You ready, Steve?” you mimicked the original lyrics. “Uh-huh,” he replied exactly like Steve Priest in the original song. “Savy?” you said next. “Yeah,” Sav bopped his head to the beat. “Rick?” “Okay.” “Alright, fellas,” you called out, “Let’s go!” The two guitarists let their instruments ring out around the house, playing the all-too-familar tune. As soon as they started this, the front door opened, and none other than Phil and Joe walked in. Joe was holding a bag that was weighed down by the mass inside it (a painfully obvious sign that there were a few bottles of booze). Although the two of them weren’t talking, they were physically hushed upon hearing the situation you and the others had created. “Oh life’s been getting so hard, living with the things you do to me…” you sang lowly and quietly along with the music being made, just to make sure the musicians knew their places. You noticed Phil run out of the room in excitement, and into the one where he keeps his guitars. Joe, on the other hand, stayed put and watched the rest of you from afar, fighting a smile. “My dreams are getting so strange, I’d like to tell you everything I see…” You stood up, and Joe began walking towards you when you called out the next line of the song, “Oh- I see a man in the back, as a matter of fact, his eyes are as red as a sun!” Joe chimed in without warning at the next line, putting an arm on your shoulder and pointing at you, “And the girl in the corner, let no one ignore her, ‘cos she thinks she’s the passionate one!” *** “It’s, it’s a ballroom blitz, it's, it's a ballroom blitz,” Phil sang the ending teasingly to you when he put his guitar back. It felt like he was rubbing his energy in your face (since you lacked it). Before Phil could continue, Joe suddenly appeared in the doorway. “Yeah! It’s a ballroom blitz!” he announced, throwing his arms into the air and taking a bow. He sounded a bit tipsy still. Joe was wearing his Union Jack shorts, but no shirt. Instead of a shirt, though, he had the words “PROPERTY OF DEF LEPPARD” sloppily painted across his chest in blue and green paint. Right over his nipples there were also two handprints, almost exactly matching the ones on your face. Joe stumbled in the doorway, falling to his knees and groaning in discomfort, “Ohh... probably should’ve stayed in bed.” Phil sluggishly trekked over to the singer and pulled him partially to his feet, yanking him towards the couch, “Oh yeah? And by ‘bed’, you mean-?” “Definitely not the bathtub.” Joe assured him, but winked at you. “No matter where you slept, it’s still not as bad as where she slept,” Phil pointed at you, “And what she did there.” “Why? What’d you do?” Joe’s tipsiness wore away in his sentence, making him sound genuinely concerned and curious. You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly what Phil was going to say, “Phil, I-” “It’s not what she did, it’s who she did- she shagged Steve in my bed!” the guitarist accused you again while pointing a finger. Immediately Joe exclaimed, “Nice!” and held up a hand to high-five you. “Joe!” you scolded him, surprised that he took this as good news. “Oh-uh, not… nice?” he took away the offer of a high-five and scratched the back of his head awkwardly instead, “Also, is that my shirt?” You took a look down at the Union Jack tank top you were wearing and back at Joe’s torso. Then something clicked in your head. “Ohh…” you continued staring at Joe’s chest, feeling yourself blush as old memories unraveled in your head, “I think... I think I remember something else that happened last night.” *** You were all drunk; it was no lie. After your quick jam session, there was a booze-filled music fest going on in the house. Joe had even put on his Union Jack outfit, pretending he was getting ready for a show. At one particular point of this “festival” you'd all created, records were being played, and you ended up dancing in front of Joe to REO Speedwagon’s “Take It On the Run”. “You’re bringing up your white lines, you’re pullin’ on a bedroom eyes, you say you’re going home, but I won’t say when,” you sang the wrong lyrics as you swayed and drunkingly made flirty faces at Joe on the couch. Sav, meanwhile, was playing with some old craft paint off in the corner. The blue and green substances were all over his hands (but somehow, one color managed to stay on each hand). “Yeah, you dance for him, Y/N!” Rick cheered you on from the kitchen as Steve and Phil sat on the couch. Phil was perfectly sober, and Steve was giggling and laying with his head on Phil’s lap. You, on the other hand, were now moving closer to the singer, almost like you were giving him a lap dance. “You take it on the run, baby,” you sang along, slowly taking Joe’s Union Jack tank top off of him (with no objections from below), “If that’s the way you wanna, baby...” In return to Joe being shirtless, you slowly took off your own shirt (triggering wolf-whistles and cheers from the guys) to replace it with Joe’s tank. “Sav, mark him up!” you ordered the painted bassist in the corner as you tried to dress yourself. He happily made his way over to you and questioned, “What should I mark him with?” A single hazy idea came to you, and you eagerly whispered it into Sav’s ear. He giggled in response, and proceeded to move over to Joe, drawing something on his chest in the paint. To keep Joe from looking at what it was, you went behind the chair and covered his eyes, ordering coyly, “No peeking!” “All done!” Sav announced and retreated back to whatever he was doing in the corner. “Now, wait, Sav!” you sped over to him, lifted his hands up, and double high-fived him, getting the paint on your hands as well. To finish off what Sav had started, you ran back over to Joe on the chair, and slapped your hands on his chest, right over his nipples. Laughter erupted from everyone in the room (including Joe) and you repeated Sav’s words. “All done!” Joe gazed down at the words “PROPERTY OF DEF LEPPARD” on his chest as you continued to dance to the song playing. “You’re mine, now! You take it on the run, baby... if that’s the way you want it, baby...” Joe tried to tell you in a sexy voice, “Am I your baby now?” “If that’s the way you want it baby,” you repeated the words from the song to him, “Now I’m done dancing for you! Somebody dance for me!” Steve began pointing at everyone individually, childishly suggesting, “It should be, eenie, meenie, miney, Phil!” “Why me?” Phil laughed in objection as you took a seat across the room. “Because you’re not wasted,” his terror twin argued, poking him on the nose. The sober guitarist looked over at you with happy anticipation, awaiting a comment, while all you did was wiggle your fingers at him with a goofy grin. After that, you returned the gesture to the man on his lap, giving Steve a sexy wink. *** “Oh my god...” you put your head in your hands shamefully as Phil and Joe giggled at the memory of the previous night, “I can’t believe I did all that...” “That was a treat!” Phil laughed, hugging you from the side and pulling you closer to him in consolation, “It was funny! We never get to see that side of you!” “There’s a certain reason why you don’t...” you moaned with embarrassment, then asked out of guilty curiosity, “How many times did I grab your ass during that lap dance...?" Phil thought for a bit before telling you, “Four. Well- four and a half...” You gave a loud groan of protest as Joe laughed and slumped back into the couch. “Oh, you only did those things because you weren’t thinking!” Phil consoled you, swayed back and forth with you in his arms. Joe chimed in, “Yeah, and see what happens when you don’t think? You do! Most importantly, you do Steve!” “I didn't do Steve!” you shot your head up and yelled at Joe. You received only laughs and snorts from both men in reply. Suddenly, Sav appeared on the staircase and began singing “Squeeze Box” by The Who with a tired yet cheeky smirk, “Mama’s got a squeeze box she wears on her chest, and when Stephen comes home, he never gets no rest-” Joe and Phil joined into his song with, “Cos' she’s playin’ all night, and the music’s alright! Mama’s got a squeeze box, Stephen never sleeps at night!” You just put your head back in your hands, trying not to accept your fate of being teased. You didn’t want to think that you possibly shagged Steve. He always seemed so innocent to you in a way, and you feared that this would kill your friendship. If everything the boys said was true, you would never hear the end of it, and you don’t even know what Steve would think of you from now on. Was it possible that he remembered anything about the night before? “It didn’t happen, it didn’t happen...” you repeated to yourself in a whisper as Phil unwrapped his arms from you. Sav came all the way down the stairs; his body language making him look grumpy with the world, but his tired grin signaling that he was pleased with seeing you. “Oh, it happened, sunshine!” the frizzy-haired bassist laughed, but quickly regretted it and rubbed his head with his still-painted hands, “Ah- yep, it happened. You could probably hear you two up the whole damn street.” As Sav wearily joined you all on the couch, Joe complained, “Sounds like that was a treat; I wish I remembered it!” Phil was caught off guard at the comment. His head turned to Joe in the blink of an eye and gasped, “Wait, you don’t remember hearing them?!” “I wish I could say I do, but there’s nothing there,” Joe stood up after he spoke, and quickly held onto the wall nearby. His hand went over his stomach as he whined, “Oh... fuck, Y/N, why did you make me race you last night?" “'Race me'?” you squinted as you inquired, “Race you with what?” Joe didn’t answer, but slowly took steps into the kitchen, using the wall as his guide. His answer came when you, Sav, and Phil all heard him throw up into the sink. You sighed, resting your hands over your eyes, trying to remember the cause of Joe’s sickness, “Oh no, was that really my idea?” *** “Look what I found!” you trotted into the room tipsily, holding two bottles; one of scotch, one of vodka, “Only half full! Who wants em?” While you weren’t full-on drunk, it was no secret that the title wasn’t that far away. After your little Ballroom Blitz, it was one beer after the next, then it was digging into the fancy liquors that Phil and Joe had just brought home. Your judgment was impaired, no doubt about it, and so was the judgment of all the guys. Joe even changed into his normal live-show-only Union Jack tank top, claiming that he was gonna "put on a show." The only one who was still sane and sober was Phil, who seemed to be staying away from your poison. Upon registering your sacred offer of alcohol, Rick ran forward, chanting, “Me! Me!” You lifted the bottles away from him, commanding, “Uh-uh! I get the scotch.” “Oh, bollocks, then you can keep the vodka,” the young drummer grumbled and turned away from you. Just as Rick rejected your offering, Joe sprung up and eagerly trotted over while shouting happily, “I’ll take it!” “Sold!” you handed the bottle over to him, “Betcha can’t finish before me!” “Betcha I can!” he sneered back before taking the cap off his bottle. There was no official “ready, set, go” for the race; you both just kind of went for it without any saying. While your throat and stomach were already protesting your actions (and you could almost sense that Joe’s were doing the same), you didn’t stop once; neither of you did. You held up your bottle and announced, “Done!” Looking over, you saw Joe was also finished. “I finished first!” “Nuh-uh!” you insisted, “It had to be me! Tell him, guys!” The four others hadn’t been paying attention to you and Joe’s little competition; they were instead focused on a box that Sav had pulled out from a cupboard. From the box they pulled out bottles of paint and various types of used makeup.

Joe scolded them all in a more sober manner, “Oh come on, you lot weren’t even watching!” “Yeah, yeah, it was probably a tie, anyways,” Rick chuckled, pulling out more items from the box. “This box is much more interesting, too," Phil protested, holding up a stick of lipstick as Sav held up two bottles of paint, "This is a box of makeup that I had for me and the lads in Girl! Just look at it all! Think we can have some fun with this?" "Oh, piss off," you threw the empty bottle onto the couch, "We need some music." Joe had slumped down onto a chair, and you stumbled your way over to the shelf with all the records on it, flipping through and eyeing them all as carefully as your body would let you. After only a few seconds of searching, your eyes lit up at a discovery. "Here's a good one!" you exclaimed as you pulled out a copy of Hi Infidelityby REO Speedwagon, "Let's give it a spin!" ***

Joe wandered back into the room and fell onto the empty couch with a grumble. “Sorry, Joe...” you muttered over to him, realizing that you pressured him into more consumption of the booze. “It was probably gonna happen anyway...” he admitted, wiping his hands over his face, “It’s was my stupid choice to go through with it.” “Woah,” Phil pointed out out of nowhere, looking at you with great surprise, “What’s that on your neck?” You felt your heart drop into your stomach. “What!?” you shot up from where you sat (bringing on more dizziness), and rushed over to a mirror. Once your dizziness subsided, and you could finally see your reflection, the pink shape of a hickey on the side of your neck was now clearly conspicuous. You wondered how you hadn't noticed it before. Joe exclaimed with a smug and proud grin, “Is that from Steve!?” You groaned angrily, feeling yourself become more and more defeated. “I can’t believe it,” you gasped, slapping a hand over the mark, “Something did happen between us-!” “Y/N,” Phil pointed out again, “There’s lipstick on your thigh...” Looking down at your legs, you saw that he was right. There was a single red symbol on your right thigh that marked a kiss from the night before. Upon seeing this, what you saw when you woke up popped into your head. “Looks like Steve went to town down there,” Sav smirked at you, only wanting to rub it in more. “Guys,” you softly noted, “That wasn’t Steve... he has lipstick marks all over his face from someone else...” The three men all exchanged confused looks with each other. There was a dead end to the story of the previous night. None of them knew how to solve the mystery of the lipstick. Not even Phil, who was as good as sober 12 hours ago, didn’t have any input. Sav suddenly blurted out, “Wait a minute, I know what happened- I think...” No one said anything, but eagerly leaned forward, ready to hear the tale the bassist had to tell. “You lot remember how we found that box of old makeup last night?” he began, “Well, I walked into the bathroom with you afterwards, Y/N...” *** Rick looked at himself in the mirror in the bathroom, carefully applying the makeup to his lips, and being extra careful to not get it on the blazer he was wearing. The drummer put on his best suit just to see how it would look with the makeup he was putting on. He thought he was doing a good job for the most part; he didn’t look half bad at all! It was far easier than he expected it to be, and wondered if he was good enough to help you with your makeup at times. Thinking of you seemed to have made you appear in the doorway next to him. Both of your hands were still covered in paint. “Sink,” was all you commanded of the drummer. He moved without a word and you began to wash your hands. At the same instant, Sav appeared nearby. He grabbed the doorframe and began to swing from it, leaving conspicuous handprints afterwards. “Aren’t you gonna wash up, too?” Rick crossed his arms to sass him. “Nah, I want the colors, they’re makin’ me feel- colorful...” Sav grinned, walking over to you at the sink, requesting, “C’mere.” You looked up, only to have your face taken in Sav’s paint-covered hands. He softly giggled as you squared your vision in on him with a sneer. “Rude,” you teased, then went back to washing your hands; paint now all over your face. “What’s really rude,” Rick pulled back the shower curtain and taking a step into the tub, “Is you two interrupting my makeup time! Good night!” He sat himself down in the tub and laid himself down as if he was going to sleep.

Before he had the chance to catch some shut-eye, you marched over to the tub and objected, “Rick, if you’re gonna sleep, I want a goodnight kiss first.” Without another word, Rick sat up and planted a kiss on your thigh (since it was closest to him). There was now a bright red imprint of his lips on your leg. “Thank you.” you smiled down at him, “Now goodnight.” “Don’t leave the water on, you hear?” Sav nagged him, pointing a colored finger, “You’ll drown." Rick chuckled with his eyes closed, “I’ll drink myself out. I'm in a drinkin mood, anyways." “Oh yeah? You haven’t got a straw or anything,” the intoxicated bassist continued to argue with him. “Then don’t let me drown! Get one!" “I’ll get you one later. I’ll just-“ Sav burped, and continued, “I’ll write a note or something.” “Sounds good, mate,” Rick slumped further into the tub and pulled the curtain closed, “Now you gonna stay here all night?” “Actually,” you noted out loud to yourself, different alcoholic emotions boiling up inside you, “I wanna go downstairs- I just need to see Steve- like right now...!" You turned on your heels, speeding past Sav and flying back down the stairs. *** “So that explains the paint on my face, and the paper in the hallway, and the lipstick, but what happened after that?” you asked Sav, as you were now slumped on top of Phil’s arm again. “Beats me,” Sav ran his still-painted hands through his hair, “That’s all I’ve got.” “But wait, if you said that Rick fell asleep in the bathtub...” Phil began his sentence, only for you and the other two men to exchange knowing looks with each other. All four of you immediately sprung up and rushed (as much as you could) up the stairs and into the bathroom. Upon getting there, Phil flung back the shower curtain to reveal a partially awake Rick, dressed in a suit, and still wearing the lipstick from the night before. “Mornin’,” he groaned as he stretched, then winced, “Ah, fuck- sleeping in here wasn’t the best idea for me neck.” Sav looked back at the paint on the doorframe and asked the drummer, “So then why did you sleep in here?” “Oh,” Rick looked around the tub, stating as-a-matter-of-factly, “The porcelain keeps the suit from wrinkling. I guess drunk me was very careful last night.” “I’ll say,” Joe complemented, “The lipstick’s still holding up pretty well.” Phil halted the conversation, “Wait, so you were in here when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night?” Rick chuckled, “Yeah, and let me tell you, for a smaller guy, you’ve got a big bladder.” “Wait,” you slowly turned and pointed at Joe, “I thought you said you slept in the bathtub-?” He gave you a cocky smirk in return, “I told you, ‘definitely not the bathtub’...” Rick sleepily laughed and pointed at you, “Ha- Y/N, you look like Joe!” “Why, just because of the shirt?” you inquired, pointing at Joe’s tank top on you. “And the paint!” Rick corrected you, “I can’t believe you guys didn’t wash it off yet!” In a second, you felt a rush of worry upon realizing that Rick hadn’t said anything about you and Steve yet. It made you suddenly come to the possible conclusion that he may not know about it all. “Wait,” Phil snapped his fingers, “So you do remember some stuff from last night?” “Yeah, a bit, I think. Why?” “Philip Kenneth Collen, don’t you fucking dare....” you growled at him in an almost pleading manner, rubbing your temples and grinding your teeth. “What do you remember?” Phil asked him, not giving any sort of reaction to your begging. Rick thought for a few seconds, clearly as hungover as the rest of you. It didn’t take him long to list off some brief happenings he recalled. “Well, I remember us singing Sweet, there was a lap dance, I remember- uh, being denied a bottle of scotch, there was, uh... there was lipstick... and did I try to ice-skate on pieces of cardboard down the hall...?” “Is that why there’s cardboard all down the hallway?” you motioned towards the door. Rick gave you a big proud smile and a nod in response. “So...” Joe looked around, definitely looking eager, “What’s the last thing you remember before falling asleep?” Rick rested his head back on the tub again, thinking as hard as his hungover mind would let him. You hoped to every god there was that he didn’t say anything about Steve. “Just Phil comin’ in here and having a long piss, that’s all.” came the verdict. “You sure you didn’t hear-“ Phil anxiously began to ask him, but got a hand slapped over his mouth by you. “No!” you yelled on impulse, sending more daggers through your burned-out head. All eyes were now on you, and silence fell. For a few tense seconds, you stared into Phil’s eyes, sending him visual messages of both threats and desperate requests. “...what the hell happened last night?” Rick broke the silence in a tone of utter confusion, knowing that something more serious than what he remembered had taken place. You pulled your hand back from Phil’s face, “Yuck, Phil, come on!” “You licked her hand, didn’t you?” asked Sav. “Yes,” Phil confirmed, and continued without missing a beat, “And I’m glad you asked that, Rick, cos' I know what happened after Y/N and Sav paid you a visit last night.” “Phil, if you love me in any way, shape, or form, you will not tell Rick what happened,” you begged to him as you began to walk out the bathroom door, heading back downstairs to wallow in more of your shameful hangover, “I refuse to believe it happened until there’s hard proof.” “Well what more proof do you want? A positive pregnancy test?” Phil shrugged, but suddenly slapped his own hand over his mouth, realizing what he’d just said. You shot him an angry look. You were too tired to have it out with him, so you stumbled away. Right about now, you were ready to give up and accept the fact that you probably did shag Steve. Phil turned to Rick, gaping, and slowly began to speak again, "Right... so last night, after those two were in here, I think that’s when they came back downstairs..." *** "So why are you tying up my hair again?" a drunk Steve asked Phil, who was happily putting his hair into pigtails. "Because I knew you’d look pretty, and I knew you wouldn't object, either," the other guitarist laughed evilly as he finished tying the second bundle of golden locks together, "There, you're all done now." "Cool... I think," Steve tilted his head, staring at himself in the mirror on the wall as footsteps began pounding their way down the stairs. "I think you look pretty, Steve. Pretty, pretty, pretty," Joe giggled as he was flipped off by the pig-tailed guitarist. As this happened, you trampled the stairs in your descent, calling out, “Steve- Steve! Come here!” More than happy to be ripped away from Phil’s pigtailed plans, he let you run up to him as you belted out, “I’ve got an idea...!” He didn’t say anything, but he did let you whisper something in his ear. The second he heard your idea, his eyes lit up and an evil smirk crossed his face. Steve was always in the mood for causing terror. You pulled back and exchanged the same look of understanding with the guitarist. He stared at you with a sort of appreciation, and without another word, swept you off your feet, carrying you bridal style now. With a quick smooch to your lips, he began carrying you up the stairs as you giggled with some sort of glee. Phil’s jaw dropped, looking at Joe with astonishment in the process. The singer’s face mirrored the exact same expression. “I should’ve bloody known...” Phil gasped in astonishment, “She’s been eyeing him up real funny all night... I can’t fucking believe it!” Sav came down the stairs slowly, his life depending on the railing as he dragged his hand on it. He left a long streak of blue paint as he did so. “What’s gotten into their pants?” “Each other, apparently,” Joe scoffed, taking a sip of a beer he found, “Lord knows how the hell that happened.” *** You were all sitting back on the couches in the living room, all seemingly regretting the night before (you knew you most certainly were). Everyone knew that the end of Phil’s story was the true ending of the night. Now there was really a dead end to the whole tale. “I can’t believe it,” you whispered with sorrowful acceptance, “Me and Steve...? What happened next?” Joe scoffed, “Well that’s kind of a stupid question.” “That’s where it ends, Y/N. I went up to bed afterwards, only to hear-“ Phil cleared his throat to impersonate you and Steve, “‘Oh, Steve! Yes!’ coming from my room! So after an immense helping of disapproval, I slept in Rick’s room.” “No, no, that can’t be it!” you insisted, “Guys, what really happened next?” “Can’t say,” Joe mumbled, holding his head. “Sorry, mate,” Rick apologized. Sav remained silent, but looked apologetic. “That can’t be where it ends...!” you persisted, “Sav? Tell me I’m right!” Sav rolled in his lips, and darted his eyes away from you. You continued to stare at him suspiciously, but no one else thought anything of it. Phil tried to finalize your fate sympathetically, “Give it up, Y/N, at least it’s all over now.” “But it still happened! What am I gonna say to Steve when he wakes up? You know what- no. It didn’t happen, I refuse to believe that it did.” “How much more proof do you want?” Rick shrugged, pointing at Phil and Sav, trying to make you face the terrible truth, “They both heard ya, and Steve even gave you a hickey.” You hung your head, thinking you might just decide to cry out of shame. Yes, you loved Steve, just as you loved anyone else in the band, but you never had (or planned to have) any sort of sexual relationship with them. Even if you ever did, you were afraid it would ruin everything your friendship had stood for. “Sav, what’s wrong, mate?” Joe asked out of the blue. The bassist in question was still avoiding the conversation, staying eerily silent and weaving his hands together. At this point, you noticed that he was also blushing. “That wasn’t Steve.” he stated bluntly, still not looking at you. “What wasn’t Steve?” you asked as you stared at him dead on, your heart now pounding. “That hickey... that wasn’t Steve,” he paused, “That was me.” Immediately you gasped and slapped a hand over the mark on your neck. “What?!” the other three exclaimed. Joe and Rick immediately hissed at the searing pain their outbursts caused. “Sav, what the hell?!” you scolded him, finally happy that you weren’t the only one being called out for their mistakes. “Now before you say anything else,” he finally looked at you and held up a hand, “It was your idea.” Your face fell, softly asking him, “What do you mean?” “Well, after you and Steve-you know- and only Joe and I were downstairs, you actually came back down, too- wipe that smug look off your face, Joe. You’re not entirely innocent here, either.” *** You stumbled down the stairs, giggling to yourself. Your mission was now accomplished, and Steve was asleep upstairs. In a word, you were pleased. In two words, you were still drunk. Records were still being played when you returned to the living room, and Joe currently had his copy of Sheer Heart Attack on the turntable. “She Makes Me (Stormtrooper In Stilettos)”flowed softly from its speakers. “There’s our killer queen!” Joe cooed to you happily. He was now sprawled out on the couch, two empty beer bottles on the floor beside him. Sav wasn’t too far off. The paints on his hands were now dry, and he was reclined in a chair across the room, twiddling a bottle in his hand. They both looked ready for bed, and it made you wonder how they held out for this long. The singer slurred on with an interested smirk, “You two have fun?" Sav spoke up with a scoff-like laugh, “Sure sounded like it!" “Oh, you know it,” you gave them a wink, setting yourself down on the couch next to Joe, “Guess Phil finally ditched, huh?” “Yeah, the wanker went to bed- but you’ve lost your pants!” he gestured to your black underwear, made room for you to lay down with him, and took you in his arms like a teddy bear with a sigh of appeasement. You reached back and playfully poked at Joe’s dimple, “Steve's fault." “Well, that’s no good,” Sav objected, pushing the footrest of the chair in and returning to a sitting position. “What isn’t?” Joe asked him, "Steve gettin' into it with her?" “No, that cuddlin' you're doing- it’s boring. You stay like that, you’ll fall asleep on me!” He was certainly right about this. With you in Joe’s arms and his face nuzzling into your hair like some sort of animal, he was already falling asleep. “What do you want us to do?” you chuckled, thinking that Sav was only jealous of his friend. Joe mumbled happily into your hair, “How 'bout you just do me like Steve, and we’ll be good.” At this point, you noticed the feeling of something pressing lightly against the bottom of your back; a certain weight where Joe’s hips were, and a weight that wasn’t there at first. “Joe,” you whined at him, “You’re fucking gross.” He chuckled, then slowly moved his hips to lightly rub himself against you, a low quiet moan rising in his throat from the temporary pleasure it provided. “Ah- Joe!” you protested again, reaching back and hitting him as best as you could. You wiggled out of his embrace as he burst into giggles like he had just accomplished something. Sav, on the other hand, cringed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re even hornier than when you’re sober!” you grabbed a pillow and whacked Joe with it. “You’re one to talk! You just shagged Steve!” he smirked evilly, "Why not me?" “Ha! The only way I’ll do you is by some miracle, or at least a dare,” you threw yourself onto the other couch, picking up a nearly empty beer bottle and pouring whatever was left into your mouth. Sav’s eyes finally lit up, “That’s what we oughta do- truth or dare!” “Ooh, sounds like terrible fun,” you turned yourself so you were sitting upside-down on the couch, “Sav, truth or dare?” “How come he gets to go first?” asked Joe, “I wanna get down to business!” “Dare,” Sav declared, ignoring the singer’s objections. Immediately, your intoxicated mind thought of a scheme. Despite the plan you and Steve had executed ever so perfectly, you were still a child seeking more terror. You knew Joe wanted you, and it was no secret either, so how exactly would you use Sav to reign terror over him? You wanted something to rub in Joe’s face- something that would leave a mark on him. “I dare you to-" you clumsily pointed to your neck, "Gimme a hickey.” Joe's jaw dropped with offense and jealousy; exactly as you had expected. Sav began to laugh rather loudly at the request, and stood up, now understanding your true intention of making Joe jealous. “C’mere,” he motioned with his hand. More than happy to obey the command, you strutted over to him and paused, waiting for him to make the first move. He took a step so your bodies were practically pressing together, moved your hair out of the way on your neck, and dove right in. You smiled with glee, taking in the feeling of Sav’s mouth and tongue moving over your skin (as well as Joe’s groans of protest coming from a few feet away). As the bassist sucked on your neck without hesitation, it only made you think of one thing: “Wow, there’s definitely gonna be a mark after this.” *** Rick and Phil were staring at Sav with their mouths open in shock. You kept a hand over the mark he left on your neck to prevent everyone from looking any more than they already had. “So, wait, if it was you who gave me this, why didn’t you say anything before when we said it was Steve?” you asked Sav, more suspicious than outraged now. “I- ah, didn’t... wanna say anything...” he looked away, beginning to blush again, “I guess I was too embarrassed." “I think the only person who should be embarrassed is you, Joe,” Rick turned his attention back to the singer, “You fuckin dry humped her!” Joe exclaimed in his own defense, “Yeah, and I don’t even remember it! It’s not my fault- I was drunk and horny!” “See! Just like me and Steve! I don’t remember shagging him, either! So I guess we’re even.” “Even Stephen,” Phil scoffed. You slumped into the couch more, staring blankly ahead and realizing, “So I pretty much got to second base with all of you last night...?” “I think you made it all the way home with Steve,” Rick pointed out. “Thanks, Rick,” you kept your head hung, “I feel like a slut.” “You mean you’re not?” Phil joked, only to be hit in the arm by Sav.

Just then, you all heard the sound of movement upstairs. Your heart stopped and your blood ran cold; Steve was awake now. Everyone's jaws hit the floor, and for a second, you thought they were all afraid of what you were fearing. "He's awake..." Rick announced in a sing-song voice, teasing you. “Oh no...” you gasped quietly, “Oh no, oh no! Oh god, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna say to him?!” “Hate to break it to ya, but this isn’t necessarily our problem!” Joe shrugged in a panic, hearing Steve’s footsteps get closer. “But guys! You’ve gotta help me! You’re his best friends! What should I say to him?!” “Just act like it didn’t happen! Maybe he doesn’t remember-?” Sav proposed. Rick suggested, “Just straight up ask him if he remembers anything!” “Just get out of here!” Phil made a swatting motion towards the other room. “None of those are gonna do me any good! It still happened!” you yelled at them in a whisper, “I have to live that with that fact, even if neither of us have any memory of it to live with!” It was too late for any salvation; Steve was already at the top of the stairs. The band members held their breath, and- without words or warning- all scrambled out of the living room. “No!” you whispered, “Guys- wait!” You caught Rick by the wrist when he stood up. “Rick, c’mon, please don’t leave me here!” you begged. He yanked out of your grip and apologetically condemned you, “Sorry, Y/N, but this is your business.” As the four of them retreated, you tried to bolt after them. As soon as you hit the doorway, however, Phil turned around and pushed you back on the couch nearby as slowly as he could. It was so sudden that you were on your back before you knew it, and they were all gone. “Hey!” you called out after them, “Assholes!” Steve’s voice suddenly came to your ears (rather closely, too), “What’s their problem?” You jumped, “Ah- Steve!” He had a silent step, and made it down the stairs and across the room without making a sound. He also looked just as he did a little while ago when you first woke up; scraggly hair, lipstick stains all over his face, but no visible evidence of a hangover. “Hey, wow,” you forced an awkward chuckle at him, “Nice- uh, nice- lipstick...” Steve slumped down onto a chair and grumbled, “Thanks. Who even did this to me? Doesn’t look like it was you.” “That was, that was Rick- I’m assuming... I don’t remember that happening and I don’t think he does, either. He’s still got the lipstick on, too.” He played off the remark with a tired smile, “Oh, nice... last night really was something, wasn’t it?” Heat rushed to your face, and you tried to look away without being conspicuous. “Ha ha... yeah... really something!” you faked your amusement for him, now wondering if he was implying anything about the previous night. Steve leaned forward and asked, “Do you remember Sav and the paint? That was pretty funny, wasn’t it?” Still blushing, you darted your eyes around the room and nodded in agreement, “Mm hmm, yeah... he was like a toddler or something.” He sunk back into the chair again and closed his eyes, reminiscing about the events of the previous night. For a second you thought you were in the clear, and that maybe he didn’t remember the specific event that Phil and Sav did.

That illusion was shattered when his eyes snapped open, whispering “Wait a minute”, and sitting back up. Immediately, your heart dropped into your stomach.

“How did our plan go?” he questioned quietly, figuring that the others were still somewhere nearby and listening. “P-plan?” you stuttered, partially afraid of what he meant, but partially caught off guard, “What plan?” “You know-” he whispered again, thinking you remembered, “It was your idea. Did they believe it? We were convincing enough?" You darted your eyes down to the floor, confused, but also embarrassed. 'Convincing'? What did that mean? "Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t remember!” he smiled playfully. As you stared at him with fearful confusion in your eyes and redness on your cheeks, his smile was suddenly wiped away. He muttered under his breath as his face fell, "Oh... you don't remember... bloody hell, okay, this is gonna be hard to explain..." "Then explain it, because I'm really fucking confused..." your voice wavered with a sarcastic chuckle. Steve sighed and leaned forward, slowly weaving his hands together. He didn't know where to begin. "This is one of the few things I remember from last night..." he started off, "And there's no way to make this sound... good... in any way, but you came up with the idea of us pretending to shag- like making noises and shit like that- to trick the others into thinking we really did. For some reason I thought it was a great idea, and I'm pretty sure I carried you upstairs, too.” Instantly, a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. It wasn't real; you didn't shag Steve, and he could even tell the guys himself! You blew out a big sigh of relief, and slumped back into the couch, closing your eyes. "Oh, god," you slowly panted, "What a huge relief- I suppose we were really convincing, then." "Why d'you say that?" You laughed tiredly, now feeling rather thankful for your raging hangover, "The guys are all convinced that we fucked last night. Only Phil and Sav seem to remember it, though. They've been hounding me about it all morning. I kept telling them it couldn't be true- and I was right!" "What, would it be so bad if we actually did?" he teased you in a hushed voice. "Well, I've had to live my day so far under the impression it did happen. I was teased, ridiculed, embarrassed, and felt guilty about it. I was afraid it'd ruin our friendship if it was true... I was kinda hoping you didn't remember so we could just forget..." The red in your face returned all over again. Steve, however, didn't seem bothered. "If you really want to, we can keep pretending it happened and steer into the act; give em' what they want." "What? No!" you laughed out loud, standing up, "You're crazy, Clark! I think I better go tell the others the bad news. They'll be disappointed-ha!" You walked across the room to go find the others and disclose unto them the "bad news", giving Steve a pat on the shoulder when you passed him. Once you were gone and out of sight, Steve also blew out a big sigh of relief. "She didn't remember anything," he thought to himself, "That was a close one." While he knew you two didn't go all the way the previous night, he figured if you didn't remember it, then it was for the best you didn't find out. It was nothing serious; just a bit of fooling around, really. Just a bit of drunked-up teasing, and nothing more. The guys had no proof that anything actually happened between you two, and you were about to tell them the partial truth anyway, so why say something to reignite the suspicion? After all, they were all hungover to begin with, so there wasn't much memory of the whole affair, either. "Thank god for these hangovers,"Steve thought, "Thank god. I couldnt've asked for anything more." ~Epilogue~ When you got to the top of the stairs, Steve put you on your feet and spun you around. "You ready?" he whispered, childish excitement in his voice. You nodded with equal excitement, "Take me away, Clark." The two of you began eagerly walking hand-in-hand to whatever room you pleased, but before either of you had the chance to pick one, the bathroom door opened, Rick popped his head out and commanded, "Stop right there!" Both you and Steve froze and looked at him. He still had his lipstick and his suit on, and a kind of serious look overtaking his face. A finger was kept in a pointing position at you, a few large pieces of cardboard were underneath his other arm, and he slowly took steps down the hall to meet you. Neither of you moved, but both of you waited. When Rick got to you, he didn't say a word, but did take Steve's face in his hands (dropping the cardboard in the process), and proceeded to the kiss the man all over his face.

Steve remained silent, and let Rick have his way until he decided to stop. When he did, there were several lipstick stains on various parts of the blonde's face.

"Thanks, mate," Steve muttered sarcastically as Rick kicked some of the cardboard pieces in different directions. He then stepped on two of them, trying to slide down the hall on them as if they were ice skates. When he got back to the bathroom, he went back inside and shut the door again.

Without another word, you turned Steve's face toward you, gave him a peck on the cheek as Rick had done, and kicked open the door behind you (which just so happened to be Phil's bedroom). You both fell back into the room, giggling with makeshift lust in your eyes.

After all, you had to make this authentic, right?

#def leppard #def leppard fanfic #def leppard x reader fanfic #def leppard x reader #steve clark #phil collen #rick savage #rick allen #joe elliott #original content #i'm still proud of this ngl #it was hard tying up the loose ends but i had a LOT of fun writing this throughout 2018

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lovelucybradford · 4 years

Text

I Pretend You’re Mine (All the Damn Time). One

Tumblr’s hottest new Derek HalexOC fic is “I Pretend You’re Mine (All the Damn Time)”. Fueled by one too many rom-coms and the author’s thirst for Tyler Hoechlin, this fic has EVERYTHING: childhood friends to lovers, fake engagement, mutual pining, Derek Hale’s family alive and well, and SLOW BURN (oh so slow).

One: get me with those green eyes, baby.

“Yo Rosie, you better go over there. Cinderella’s about to steal your man,” Stiles commented nonchalantly, sipping on a Coke from a paper cup. He was trying to hide his smile, but Rosalie could see right through him.

“Shut up, Stiles. He’s not my man.” Rosalie rolled her eyes, but didn’t stray her focus from Derek, Cinderella, and her niece, Charlotte. The young girl who was playing Cinderella couldn’t be older than twenty-one. (Way too young for the man.) Sure enough, she had her dainty hand on Derek’s bicep, likely commenting on his muscles. (That had happened with Ariel, an hour before. To which Rosalie thought that she’d be able to fill out those seashells much better.)

Derek laughed, scratching the back of his neck—a sure sign that he was uncomfortable with all of the attention. It had been his tell for as long as Rosalie had known him—verging on twenty-five years, give or take the time that they’d spent apart in college and Rosalie’s four-year stint living with her father’s family in New York City (a mistake, big mistake).

That had been a change; Derek used to eat up all of the attention from women when they were younger. A lot had changed with the two friends through the years; lovers had come and go, lessons learnt the hard way—but the one thing that hadn’t changed was their connection to each other. No one quite understood Rose the way that Derek did, and she’d like to think that nobody understood Derek like she did.

Charlotte pointed one blue-painted nail towards her aunt, and suddenly all eyes were on her. “Auntie Rosie! Come here!” she called loudly.

Rosalie obliged, excusing herself from Lydia and Stiles to join Charlotte, Derek, and the princess. Cinderella smiled kindly at Rosalie, eyes briefly flicking up to her hair. She turned to Derek and asked, “Is this your princess?”

To which Rosalie flushed a bright shade of red. Cinderella was likely referring to Rosalie’s elaborate updo. Her red hair was covered in green glitter, complete with a sparkling, emerald-encrusted tiara. Charlotte, ever the shy child, had been nervous to go to the Bippity Boppity Boutique by herself, and convinced her aunt to play along. So, Rosalie had gotten the works, and Derek and Stiles teased her incessantly all day. She didn’t mind, really. She’d do anything for the kid, whether that be to sell her soul or literally become her childhood moniker.

Derek chuckled apprehensively and ducked his head. Charlotte answered for them both, giving Stiles Stilinski more fodder for his jokes.

“Yeah! This is my Auntie Rose. Uncle Derek calls her princess,” Charlotte smiled proudly. In the distance, Stiles guffawed, and Lydia leaned her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder. Likely hiding her own laugh, for Rosalie’s benefit.

Rosalie stumbled over her own words. “I…um…childhood nickname. Anyways, Char, do you want a photo so the nice people behind us get a chance to meet Cinderella, too?”

The four posed for the photo, Derek and Rosalie on either side of the princess and Charlotte, curtseying, in front. Lydia snapped a quick photo on her own phone and on Rosalie’s. Then, Rosalie graciously thanked Cinderella and the photographer, eager to get the hell out of the awkward situation.

Derek swept Charlotte up on to his shoulders, giving a polite nod before he turned to leave as well. Cinderella tapped him on the arm, and added, “Have a magical day! Your girlfriend is beautiful.”

Rosalie lost her footing at Cinderella’s words, almost crashing embarrassingly to the floor if it weren’t for Lydia’s supportive hand on her wrist. She let Lydia lead her out of the building, feeling quite lightheaded all of a sudden.

The sun had set in the near hour that they had waited to meet the princesses. The stars in the sky sparkled above, bringing a whole new sense of magic to ‘The Most Magical Place on Earth’.

“Oh my God, this picture is so cute. I’m def posting it on Instagram,” Lydia said, smiling down at her phone. She moved closer to her cousin so Rosalie could see the photo as well.

Rosalie cringed. “Um, no you’re not.” Charlotte looked adorable, as she always did. Rosalie, well—Rosalie looked exactly as she felt in that very moment. The pink in her cheeks perfectly matched the tapestry behind them, and she couldn’t blame that shade of red on a blossoming sunburn. And Derek—he looked like a deer in the headlights, wide-eyed with a tight-lipped smile. Even when mortified he still managed to look gorgeous.

It hurt Rosalie’s heart just a little bit to think that Derek was mortified because someone thought they were together. But she buried that feeling once she saw Stiles saunter towards them, Derek and a chattering Charlotte in tow.

“Too late. I already did,” Lydia announced, lips tilting into a playful smile.

“Already did what?” Derek peeked over the women’s heads.

He groaned loudly, making Charlotte laugh. “Please tell me you didn’t just post that on Instagram. God, Laura’s never going to let me live this down.”

Rosalie tilted her head upward and smirked at her best friend. “Just wait until I tell her that you got hit on by Cinderella.” She laughed at Derek’s flared nostrils and pursed lips. He smacked her on the shoulder blade with the hand that wasn’t supporting Charlotte, who was clutching Derek’s black baseball-cap covered head with both little hands.

Charlotte tilted her head, befuddled. “What does ‘hit on’ mean?”

Rosalie and Derek stayed silent, neither one wanting to answer. Stiles replied for them, winking up at the little girl. “It means that Cinderella liked your Uncle Derek. Anywho, I’m thinking that we hit that Millennium Falcon ride.”

Rosalie checked her phone. “Can’t, Stiles. We have to head to dinner.”

Stiles sighed. “Please God, tell me your father won’t be joining us, Rosalie. I already have to deal with him for a whole week. If I have to spend more time with him than that, I might chop off my arm with a lightsaber.”

Lydia checked the map, and the group began their trek towards the restaurant.

“What’s Stiles talking about?” Derek asked as he hiked Charlotte further up his shoulders.

“The Martin Family Reunion,” Lydia commented, looking pointedly at Rosalie. Rosalie, who had forgotten all about it. And furthermore, forgotten about the little white lie she’d made when she RSVP’d. “A weeklong cruise hosted by Rosalie’s father.”

Lydia pursed her lips, green eyes flitting back and forth between her cousin and the path in front of her. “The one that Drew will be at… with his new fiancée, Ashleigh.”

The mention of the two made Rosalie sick. It had been a blow to Rosalie, when she’d seen that Instagram post on her sister’s profile. She was stupid to think that it couldn’t get worse than her ex and her sister sleeping together behind her back. Then they had to go and get engaged, a sure reminder to Rosalie that Drew, the one love of her life, would never really be gone from it.

“Gross,” Charlotte said. “Drew the Douchebag.”

Rosalie’s mouth gaped in repulsion. She glared scoldingly up at her niece. “Charlotte Marie Martin, who told you that?”

Charlotte had the nerve to not look guilty at all. She innocently smiled back at her aunt. “Daddy… and Uncle Derek.”

Rosalie turned her glare to Derek, whose shoulders were shaking, and not because of the weight of the five-year-old perched on them. “You’ve never even met Drew,” she hissed.

Derek kept his gaze straight forward. “I didn’t have to, not with what he did.”

“Can’t argue there,” Stiles chimed in, and Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head.

Derek stopped, and Rosalie thought he was going to apologize. Instead, he crouched down. “Ok, Charlie. Why don’t you walk with Auntie Rose for a while? Uncle Derek’s shoulders hurt.”

Charlotte clambered off of Derek and into the welcoming hand of her aunt. Rosalie couldn’t stay mad at Charlotte. It wasn’t her fault that Rosalie’s brother let things slip. Charlie just mimicked what her father said.

Rosalie didn’t speak the rest of the way. She was too angry with what Derek and her brother had been saying behind her back. (Even though she knew they spoke the truth.)

“Rosalie? Lydia?” came a call from behind the group. Rosalie didn’t have to turn around in her beach chair to know who it was. She shifted the sleeping little girl in her lap slightly so she could sink down in it, ducking her head.

Derek snorted a laugh. “What are you doing?” His stare flickered between Rosalie and Lydia (who was in a similar position in her own chair), green eyes full of amusement.

“I’m invisible. I’m not here. I don’t exist,” Rosalie whispered, eyes scrunched shut and wishing it into reality.

Derek crouched, meeting Rosalie’s line of sight. “Why are we hiding?”

“Shh!” she shushed him with a finger to her lips. “You remember my crazy Aunt Susie?”

“Your dad’s sister? The one who looks like the female version of Donald Trump?”

“Yes. Also known as the family gossip. She will undoubtedly say something shitty about Drew and Ashleigh’s engagement.”

Derek scoffed. “Fuck them.” As an afterthought, he added, “You know what, fuck her too.”

Rosalie swatted him on the forearm. “Children, Derek. There are children present.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say it that loud… and the kid is asleep.”

“Yo Lydia, Rosalie, Derek. I’m back with the contraband.” Stiles weaved between chairs and the standing crowd, arms full of paper drink cups and soft pretzels.

Lydia kicked him in the shin. “Shut up, Stiles.”

Stiles looked amused. “Why are you whispering?”

“Yoo Hoo! Rosalie Anne! Lydia Isabella! You can’t hide from your Aunt Susie!” Rosalie’s aunt yelled, words slurred with her southern drawl, and likely a bit of alcohol.

Stiles’ eyes widened, and he too ducked down. “Forget I asked.”

A slim, bony finger poked Rosalie on her bun-topped head. Aunt Susie shuffled around the chairs to stand in front of the group. With no escape in sight, Rosalie and her friends sighed and straightened themselves up.

“Oh, my,” Aunt Susie chirped, grabbing hold of both Rosalie’s and Lydia’s cheeks. “Look at how much you two have grown!”

Rosalie smiled kindly, as she was taught to do from a young age. She hoped if she obliged in conversation, then Aunt Susie would leave quicker and they could enjoy their night in peace.

Aunt Susie’s smile fell when her eyes swept over Lydia’s boyfriend. “And Steve…nice to see you again.”

Stiles scratched his chin, mumbling, “It’s um…Stiles. Stiles Stilinski.”

But Aunt Susie paid no mind. Her attention was completely on the man that sat to Rosalie’s left. Her eyes scanned him, seemingly sizing him up. Or checking him out. Likely the latter, Rosalie thought, knowing her aunt.

“Well, Rosalie. Who’s this?” she drawled, looking quite like a cat watching its prey.

Derek straightened out and forced a smile. He held out a hand for her to shake. “Derek Hale, ma’am.” Derek’s mother had instilled politeness in her son, even if he didn’t like the person. And Rosalie knew that Derek wasn’t fond of Rosalie’s father’s side of the family.

She took it, shaking too enthusiastically. A sense of recognition washed over her plump face, and her hand stilled. “Derek Hale… little Derek Hale? Why, you’ve grown, too. When was the last time I saw you? Ten years ago?”

Derek smirked, fire in his eyes. Rosalie prepared herself for the inevitable shit talking, already planning damage control. “Actually, it was fourteen years ago. At the second wedding of Jason Martin. When your brother married his mistress and left Rosalie, Levi, and Ms. Hart.”

Stiles snorted noisily, placing a hand over his mouth to cover up his laughter. Lydia cracked a smile, too. Rosalie kicked Derek, hard. Well, as hard as she could with a child still sleeping soundly on her lap.

Aunt Susie’s mouth opened and closed in shock, for once at a loss for words.

Charlotte woke at just the right time, deterring the awkward silence. She stretched and yawned loudly, then sat up in Rosalie’s lap. Her tiara was crooked, and her eye makeup was smudged, but she still looked cute. Rosalie wished she looked that nice after sleeping in her makeup.

“Aunt Susie!” she cried at the sight of her great-aunt, wrapping the woman in a hug. Ah, childhood innocence. Charlie didn’t know what the real world was like, what her extended family was really like, and Rosalie preferred to keep her naivety.

Charlotte easily engaged Aunt Susie in an excitable conversation. Rosalie, eerily conscious of eyes on her, shifted her ring between the fingers of both hands. It was an impulse buy, the vintage sapphire with the white gold band. She’d seen it on display in one of the shop windows and absolutely had to have it, even if it was way more than she’d ever spend on herself.

“Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you on the cruise in a few weeks.” Aunt Susie turned to leave. Her eyes caught something, and she halted, wide-eyed.

“Oh, my stars,” she commented, hands on her heart. “I… I thought after Drew you were a hopeless case, but…”

Rosalie couldn’t comprehend why her aunt was getting choked up. And the ‘hopeless case’ comment stung more than she would have liked.

Sweet, sweet Charlie reached up to dry her great-aunt’s tears. The damage was already done—white tear tracks contrasted starkly with the tangerine of the older woman’s self-tanner. “What’s wrong, Aunt Susie?”

Aunt Susie, so overwhelmed with emotion, didn’t register the little girl’s words. Instead, she grabbed Derek’s hand. It hung limply in hers. Derek looked alarmed. “Oh, Rosalie’s father will be absolutely thrilled to see you… both of his baby girls… first Drew and Ashleigh…”

Aunt Susie shook her head and dabbed at her eyes with the bottom of her red Mickey Mouse t-shirt.

With her resolve back, she straightened. “Well now, please tell me you’re coming on the cruise?”

“I, um…” Derek stuttered, looking to his best friend for help. Rosalie had no idea what was going on either, and just shrugged in response.

“Well, you absolutely must go now! Of course, Lydia and her wild boyfriend are coming--”

Stiles quietly muttered something along the lines of “I may be wild, but at least I’m not one step away from the loony bin, lady.” Rosalie leaned her elbow on the armrest and laughed into her palm.

“--and Rosie, you absolutely have to bring your fiancé,” Aunt Susie pleaded, looking straight at Derek.

Rosalie couldn’t look at him. She froze, stock still, staring in horror at the sapphire ring that had migrated from her right ring finger onto her left. Where an engagement ring would go. And her new piece of jewelry sure as hell looked like an engagement ring.

“YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED?!” Charlotte squealed loudly, clasping her hands in glee.

Rosalie was about to deny it, let the little girl down easy, when Charlotte began to cry.

“Char, why are you crying?” Rosalie asked, voice shaking. She couldn’t look anywhere else but at her niece, heart beating heavily in her chest.

“I’m just… I’m so, so, happy,” Charlotte sniffled. “I love you so much, Uncle Derek.” The little girl climbed over Rosalie and hopped into Derek’s lap, engulfing him in a huge hug. Derek didn’t hug her back, but only for a miniscule moment. He shook his head, coming to his senses, and then wrapped his arms around the girl, patting her back stiffly.

“You didn’t tell her?” Aunt Susie asked Rosalie, accusingly. Rosalie looked to her right for help. Stiles and Lydia were silently sharing a soft pretzel, looking just as stunned as Rosalie.

“No… um, we were going to tell Charlotte during the fireworks. Right, Rosie?” Derek mumbled, saving face. Rosalie thanked him silently for his quick wit.

Rosalie’s head whipped in the opposite direction. She met Derek’s apprehensive eyes. It was almost as if he was asking permission, like he actually agreed to go along with this whole charade.

It was the perfect ruse if Rosalie could ever think of one. A month ago, she’d drunkenly RSVP’d with a plus one to the family reunion cruise, as a way to save her pride and spite her family, who likely thought that she’d come alone and pine for her ex.

No way in hell, she’d thought. Even though there was no one in her life that she could even remotely think of to bring as a date. Derek was out of the question, before…

But now…

She subtly raised a brow, wordlessly asking, are you sure?

Derek subtly nodded back, lip quirking in a reassuring half smile.

Rosalie cleared her throat and straightened herself to her tallest seated height. She wasn’t confident at all, so she was going to fake it till she made it. “That’s right. We were going to wait until the fireworks, make it more magical for Charlotte.”

The speakers on the green lamppost next to them announced that the show was starting. Aunt Susie left them all with a wave and a ‘see you soon’.

No one spoke during the show, except for Charlotte, who was oblivious to the mess that she’d inadvertently got them into.

“So, I guess you’re my fiancée now,” Derek joked, lightly shoving Rosalie in the side. She smiled shyly up at her best friend. Amusement shined in his eyes. He wasn’t mad or appalled like Rosalie suspected him to be. Thank God.

“I, um, I guess I am,” Rosalie replied, swinging her now free arms beside her. Stiles had taken over the task of carrying a sleepy Charlotte to the car. He and Lydia trailed behind them, whispering. Likely about Derek and Rosalie’s… predicament.

“Dude, you two are fucked,” Stiles said, appearing suddenly on Rosalie’s left.

“So fucked,” Lydia affirmed after checking to see if Charlotte was still sleeping.

Rosalie couldn’t help but agree.

#derek hale #derek hale x reader #derek hale x oc #teen wolf #tyler hoechlin

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mashiraostail · 4 years

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who do u think r the biggest simps??

eigFJKD THIS ASK IS SO FUNNY TO ME THANK U PUT IN ORDER FROM MOST TO LEAST SIMP LIKE I PROB FORGOT PPL BC ITS LIKE LATE LATE BUT I WANTED TO WRITE THIS AHSLSEDS

1.) Hizashi: THIS MAN IS SUCH A SIMP IT’S PRESENT MIC I DON’T CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT THIS MAN IS SUCH A FUCKING SIMP!!! I can’t explain it honestly i just...i can so picture him being the biggest idiot for his s/o he’s always looking at pics of them and staring at them when they’re around and he’s gonna compliment everything they do period. Like aw the way you sit is so cute, aw I love how you twirl pencils with your fingers when you’re trying to focus, aw your stutter is precious. And god even a tiny CRUMB of kindness from you will put him on cloud nine. Oh you like his jacket?? Okay, he can happily die now. He has pretty eyes? Excuse him he has to go cry in the bathroom. The sappier you get the easier it is to get your way. . He gives so many gifts, little stupid things that make him think of his s/o but also big extravagant gifts tht always leave them totally flustered and embarrassed. Biggest simp. Simp of the year.

2.) Sekijiro- Sorry but.. Vlad king supremacy?? Idk why he’s such a respectful simp I just get those vibes from him. Like he’ll do anything his s/o asks, need something lifted? Ok he’ll be there in 5 minutes. Oh need help reaching something? Sure thing whatever you need. Had a bad day? Oh no well come sit here with me and we can talk about it or watch your favorite movie if you don’t wanna yet! This man loves love, if he gets hurt on the job, or has a bad day all he’s gonna wanna do is curl up with you and get all the kisses and loves and back rubs. If he’s having a bad day he’s def gonna sit around daydreaming about you. His phone bg is def either a pic of you together or just a pic of you, he has a lot of pics of you and he enjoys them very much. It’s always your way, you have to beg him to just tell you what he wants sometimes, and no ‘whatever you want babe’ isn’t a valid answer!!! sorry not sorry about it!!

3. Toshinori- GOOODDDDD THIS MAN IS A SIMP. He’s totally stupid in love w his s/o the minute they meet. He’s all blushy and stupid and smiley at them and he’s always paying little tiny thoughtless compliments like ‘oh you have really nice hands’ or ‘you’re always so helpful (: I’m so lucky to get to work with you!’ He’s just happy to be around his s/o and he’ll do whatever they want. Shopping? Sure he’ll tag along. Got a bunch of boring errands to run? He’ll keep you company. Need to do a ton of house work? He can help! He also loves giving small gifts, and any matching thing on the planet will make his heart soar, rings of course, but also bracelets, key chains, mugs anything this man will want it. If you say a song reminded you of him he will listen to it on loop for weeks. He’s totally fantastically infatuated and it’s such obvious puppy love too.

4. Taishiro Toyomitsu- PLEASE again this man is a major simp gentleman. He holds doors he gets you flowers he cooks you dinner he talks about you all the time. Seriously all the time. Tamaki probably knows your whole life story by now all he does is brag about you. Complete a slightly difficult task? Everyone Taishiro interacts with is gonna know it. Even the villains. If he ever does an interview you’re getting brought up. He doesn’t care how much he has to bend over backward to do it, he’s gonna talk about you or he’ll perish. When you’re together it’s kisses and hugs all the time, he barely ever walks by without giving you some form of kiss, and god the amount of times this man says ‘i love you’ in one day, hell one hour, should be illegal.

5. Kugo Sakamata- he’s not a super simp BUT he is still a simp, and the nicer you are to him the more simpish he becomes. If you have a normal comfortable give and take dynamic that’s good with him, but if you’re ever very affectionate with him he’ll be total putty in your hands. The longer you’re together the worse it gets. He loves gift-giving and there truly is nothing you can’t have. If you want it then it’s your’s Kugo doesn’t care, why would he? If it’ll make you happy then you can have as many as you want. So all in all, may not be a super simp at first but you can def mold him into one.

6. Keigo Takami- He doesn’t simp at all in the beginning, he’s actually an annoying little turd. But the longer he spends with you the more infatuated he becomes until eventually it feels like going 6 hours without a kiss from you is majorly pushing it. Tokoyami has heard about every accomplishment you’ve ever made from your job to how quickly you did the dishes the night before. He has seen a thousand photos of you and probably knows you really well if he for whatever reason hasn’t met you. Because Keigo is always stopping to visit on patrols, or begging you to come to see him at the agency for lunch or just a quick hello if you’re going to be passing through. When he gets to know you all he wants to do is make you feel good.

7. Aizawa Shouta- people probably wanted him higher on this list but idk he doesn’t scream simp to me. In public he def does NOT simp, he might stare at you a little too long if he isn’t expecting to see you and he’ll always smile back if you smile at him but don’t expect him to plaster pictures of you everywhere and constantly talk about how much he loves you because that isn’t his style. In PRIVATE though?? This man can simp for the right cause. And sir can this man SIMP. What do you want? A bath? Okay I can do that. Your favorite food? Sure that’s easy. Massage? You don’t even have to ask! He likes the effect he has on you, watching you get flustered and melt at his affection is something he starts to really enjoy the longer the pair of you stay together.

8. Mirai Sasaki- At first he doesn't simp, but once you hit a few milestones he’ll start. He likes making you laugh, and seeing your smile is at the top of his priority list, he has tons of photos of you smiling and if anyone is having a bad day he’ll think of some silly story about you to tell to cheer them up. Like others, his intern, Mirio, has heard all about you and probably knows you really well. He probably made it a point to introduce you after working with Mirio for a while. Mirio probably sees you as a package deal at this point.

9.Nemuri Kayama- Girl does NOT simp. You simp for her and you like it that way, periodsm!!! No actually though at first she also doesn’t simp at all, she doesn’t care, she can have pretty much anyone she wants so if you don’t like her then you can pack it up and find someone else. But the longer you stay with her the more she starts to warm up to it, she likes seeing you happy, so going the extra mile even if it is a bit much for her is something she’s going to start doing more and more. She’ll remember all your favorite things and give you random gifts. She’ll take lots of photos of you to keep for herself and she’ll send you plenty of her own. She starts to also find a lot of comfort in you and will be looking for ways to spend time with you.

10. Enji Todoroki- I aint explaining this. Mans aint no simp.

#aizawa shouta #hizashi yamada #nemuri kayama #yagi toshinori #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #kugo sakamata #keigo takami x reader #hawks x reader #keigo takami #hawks #aizawa shouta x reader #present mic #present mic x reader #bnha hc #headcanon #bnha requests

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

Build Me Up Buttercup *PART 7*

Whooo man, I don’t know if this is a longer chapter or not. I had planned on splitting the situations into two separate chapters, but it seemed short so I combined them.

If you need to catch up!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 8

Tag List: @wanniiieeee

Rafael slammed the door to the men’s room open, terrifying some poor cowboy just trying to use the john.

“Sorry…” He nodded apologetically to the guy who grumbled some obscenities as he washed his hands and left, leaving Rafael alone to stew.

Why had he just done that?! Why did he have to glance back at your table as soon as you closed your eyes? In that split second, he had locked eyes with Olivia. They were so close it was like they could telepath whole sentences between each other; and the look she had given him in that moment was definitely saying “What the FUCK do you think you’re doing?”.

Truth be told he really had no idea what he was doing, it all happened so fast. Really, the whole day was a blur. Before today you were just a junior detective to him, albeit a very sexy one. But truthfully you were barely a blip on his radar; you didn’t speak much, and when you did it was usually insulting him or contradicting. How had this one out of town trip completely flipped your relationship through a dryer tumble cycle? First the song in the car, the coffee in the car, the Fahey’s bathroom, and now this. At one point did he start…falling for you? Was he even falling for you? Were you planning this thing all along? Had you been seducing him? No, surely he wasn’t that dumb to just be seduced by a pair of pretty eyes and a tight t-shirt...and a soft soul who’d been through so much at so young…

NO.

He wasn’t doing this. Not here, not now.

----

“What do you mean, he just left?”

Once again you had fled to the bathroom, this time to update your BFF on the never ending nightmare that was this day.

“I mean he LEFT. He mumbled some bullshit about being ‘sorry’ and just….walked away. No I’m sorry, he RAN away.”

“Well...maybe he got scared?”

“A grown man?”

“I don’t know from what you’ve said about him, he seems pretty high strung am I right?”

“That’s putting it lightly…”

“I mean the fact that you even got him on that dance floor sounds like a miracle to me, maybe he just got in his head all of a sudden,”

“Maybe…”

“Which means….” they paused ominously.

“Means what?” you asked skeptically.

“You’ve gotten yourself a def con one situation here, babe,”

“...What?” you were completely lost.

“Everyone knows the rule, Y/N” they kept completely serious.

“Wha-What RULE?”

“The RULE! Once you have a…’moment’ with someone that gets interrupted, you HAVE to actually kiss them...or bang them but let’s be realistic,” they continued in a very serious tone, despite the fact that they were talking conspiracy theories.

“Is ANY of that realistic? What happens if you ‘break’ this rule?”

“You have to kiss them in 24 hours or else you’ll just stay friends forever,” They stated like an oracle.

“Do you hear yourself when you talk, or has the crazy just become white noise at this point?” You rolled your eyes.

“Mock all you want, but you remember Duncan and Sarah?”

“They went on one date and decided to be friends?”

“No no, they went on one date and she got called away before the end of it, thus nixing the good night kiss. And then the next time they ‘went out’, it had been 72 hours and when he went in for the good night kiss, she said they were better AS FRIENDS,”

“...THAT’S what you're basing this insane rule on? A story about people we barely know?”

“Well, it was also on Scrubs. Elliot and JD had to go through SO MUCH just because he couldn’t man up in those 24 hours!” They insisted.

“Oh my god, I’m hanging up--”

“WAIT WAIT WAIT, Come on Y/N just hear me out,” They begged. You sighed, putting two fingers across your eyes.

“Alright, let’s hear it,”

“Look, you can choose to think I’m full of shit, but you gotta ask yourself: Are you willing to chance it?”

You bit your lip, actually pondering if she could be right.

“And you better think REAL quick, because your time has already been cut in half,” they added.

“NOW what the hell are you talking about?”

“You’re like, on a ‘vacation’ right now. Barba is FINALLY seeing you, like a person. A woman. Someone who’s not up his ass for warrants or bitching about deadlines,”

“I’m not that--” you tried protesting.

“Shush. No time. You’re in like, another dimension right now. I’ll bet money as SOON as you hit the city line he’s gonna go back to his robot self and remember the fact that you two are completely inappropriate--”

“Oh come on that’s a strong--” you once again tried defending yourself.

“I’m just saying what he’s gonna reason, babe. You know I’m right,”

You paced the bathroom now, thinking of all the reasons you and Barba were bad news.

“....What if he’s already there? What if that’s why he walked off? What if he’s talking himself out of….ANYTHING?”

“THIS IS WHAT I’M SAYING, HELLO You need another ‘moment’, but without everyone staring at you. I’ll bet you anything that’s what got him into his head all of a sudden,”

Your eyes widened, remembering the front row seats your entire squad had to your little romantic moment.

“Oh my god you might be right...they were all staring at us,”

“See?? You need to get him alone,” They went on, as you walked out of the bathroom.

“...Fuck,”

“What? Fuck what? WHAT?!”

“I may have run out of time,”

You saw Barba approaching the booth again, Olivia gesturing wildly. The body language of their conversation did not seem very encouraging. What was worse, Amber walked up and handed them a check.

“I think we’re leaving, Olivia got the check and she looks like a mad mom bitching out her ten year old for trying to swipe candy,” You groaned, ducking behind a man with a huge cowboy hat and following behind him to a seat at the bar, out of the squad’s eye line.

“You need more time! You can’t just get in the car and drive back with everybody there, the ‘moment’ will never happen!”

“Okay can you stop with this, I’m already flipping out enough without you stating the obvious,” you twirled your hair and bit your lip.

“....You need to do something to your car.” they suddenly threw that at you like it was a completely reasonable statement.

“EXCUSE ME?”

“Slash one of your tires!”

“Are you high right now, be honest with me,” You narrowed your eyes.

“Desperate times, babe,”

“Desperate times, not PSYCHOTIC times,”

“Look if you have a flat tire, you’ll have to call AAA and have them come and fix it, that should give you at least an hour. Then you can go back inside, get him ALONE, and get your moment!” They tried reasoning with you. Was that Hurricane THAT strong, or were they actually making some sense?

“...Why am I listening to this?” you kept a straight face, even though it was just a phone call.

“You can act smug all you want baby, but I can hear it in your voice; you’re considering it,”

“Of course I’m considering it! But it’s...it’s insane. It’s like, ‘Fatal Attraction’ crazy,”

“Ok I’m not telling you to boil his bunny, just inconvenience yourselves for another hour, drama queen,” you could hear both of you rolling your respective eyes at each other.

“And what’s more insane; puncturing a tire, or giving up something we both know you’ve wanted for MONTHS,” They pointed out.

“How do you--” You blinked in disbelief.

“Girl, please. I knew before you did, and I’ve never even met the man,”

After several more moments of silence, you pulled your keys towards your face.

“...I’ll call you later,”

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you sprinted outside to the parking lot and back to your car. You pulled the nail file attached to your key ring, and stared at your tires.

“God forgive me…” You sighed, making a sign of the cross across your chest before kneeling next to your left rear tire.

You dragged the nail file across the tire, it barely made a scratch. Panic began filling your head, thinking of missing any chance to have Rafael’s lips on yours. Your BFF was right, you probably had a thing for him the moment you met him; even though you hadn’t even dared to let yourself think about it, until this morning. This WAS like an alternate dimension, it was like the rules of the ‘normal’ world were moot.

The emotions of it all bubbled to a head as you stared at the tire; with a sort of pathetic battle cry, you PLUNGED the nail file into your tire and pulled it HARD across the top. Air came gushing out, the tire deflating in mere seconds. You sat back, the nail file in your hand like a machete, your breath going in and out like you had just run a marathon. Okay, you did go a LITTLE psycho there for a second.

You barely had time to admire the work, you knew you had to go back inside to make it look like you had been in the bathroom this whole time.

There was no going back now.

----

Back inside you weaved in and out of the crowd back towards the bathroom, then made a turn for the booth so it looked like you had come from that direction. You walked up slowly, still hidden in the crowded bar as you heard an exchange between Barba and Oliva.

“...What I’m saying is, don’t start leading her on when you know it’s not going anywhere,”

“How do you know it’s not going anywhere, Liv?”

“Barba. Be serious,”

Oh hell no. Who was she to make that decision? Surely he didn’t think that...did he?

“HEY, hi,” you spoke up loudly, the entire group jumping at your rather loud greeting.

“Oh hey Y/N we uh, I got the check. I just went ahead and paid for everybody, and when I say I, I mean Dodd’s,” She smiled, like she hadn’t just insulted the fuck out of you.

“Oh, yeah? Ready to head home then?” You acted completely oblivious, noticing Rafael was avoiding your eyes.

“Yeah, I’ve got my nanny waiting on me and it’s already...8 o clock?!” Olivia gasped, looking at her phone.

“Good lord, how long have we been here? I better call my sitter,” Amanda grabbed her own phone out of her bag as the group walked out.

“Well, we were driving for a good 45 minutes outside of Hartford before Rafael made us stop here,”

“Wait, what?” You now for the very first time, took a good long look at the parking lot. The bar was next to a motel on one side, a gas station on the other side next to it. And then field, across from it. And for miles.

You were literally in the middle of nowhere.

“Oh god…” you muttered, mentally yelling obscenities at your BFF and yourself for listening to their bat shit logic. Fin glanced at you quizzically, overhearing your ranting-- and then you heard Sonny’s voice.

“Is that….?”

You saw him gesture towards your back wheel. FUCK.

“Oh my god, are you serious?? A Flat tire?!” Amanda slammed her phone against your car.

“Barba must have driven across a nail, or glass, or something in the parking lot. Probably a broken beer bottle if we’re being honest,” Sonny scoffed looking at the less than stellar cars in the parking lot.

“Hey it’s not Barba’s fault!” You snapped defensively, once again mentally face palming. THINK before speaking.

“I mean it’s...it’s nobody’s fault, right? I mean, maybe the road people? Or, drunk hicks? Certainly no one here in this vicinity though, I mean obviously,” Nope, still couldn’t stop talking.

Olivia’s eyes narrowed, looking from you to Barba, who was staring at the pavement silently. She started to say something, but realized she had no concrete evidence to start throwing accusations.

“She’s right Liv, it was just a stupid accident,” Fin chimed in, patting Olivia’s shoulder.

“Do you at least have AAA?” Olivia asked you, still suspicious of the sudden turn of events.

“Oh yeah, I’ve...I’ve never used it before though,” You dug into your wallet and pulled out a worn out AAA card. Olivia took it and started dialing the number into her phone.

You took this moment to start your mission, despite the fact that your plan was quickly running off the rails.

“Can we…?” You motioned sideways, Barba nodded and moved to the side with you.

“Look, Y/N. The whole dance thing it was, cute. Flattering.”

“Flattering?” you scoffed. Seriously?

“But, I mean you know we’re in front of the whole squad, and we’re working,” His words cut you like knives. Was he actually implying that whole was embarrassing?

“ ..And I just don’t think--”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Olivia’s booming voice snapped you both out of the conversation.

“Yeah, well-- thanks a lot,” she scoffed, tossing your card as she hung up the phone.

“Hey I might--” you walked back over to her, her red hot eyes meeting yours.

“You don’t have AAA out here,” she spoke directly to you, the annoyance of her voice turning to anger.

“W-What do you mean they don’t--”

“I mean, Y/N-- your AAA card is for NEW YORK, and we’re still in CONNECTICUT,”

“Liv seriously will you knock it off? Leave her alone, she didn’t know,” Barba finally spoke up in defense of you, putting space between you and Olivia.

“I’m...I’m sorry, Y/N. I know it’s not your fault,” she apologized, not knowing it was indeed your fault.

“What am I gonna tell Lucy? We’re going to be stuck here until morning,” She sighed.

“Morning?” Amanda exclaimed angrily. “What about my Jesse?”

“I’m sure Lucy will watch her at my place with Noah, Amanda. I’ll call her right now,” Olivia assured her, the two of them walking off to the side.

You started running your hands through your hair and pacing like mad, trying not to hyperventilate. This wasn’t supposed to happen!! This was supposed to be a MINOR inconvenience, not a crisis! WHY did you listen to your BFF?

“Hey, are you ok?” Barba came up behind you and put both hands on your shoulders.

“Come on Y/N you know that’s not what I--” he protested but you wouldn’t hear it.

“Why do you care all of a sudden? Didn’t I embarrass you in front of your colleagues?” You snapped your head around, glaring at him.

“Can we please just forget it, PLEASE? I am already getting my karmic ass kicked, I don’t need you lecturing me on top of it,” You started walking towards the door of the bar.

“What? I’m not lecturing you I don’t--” He trailed behind you.

“EXACTLY,” You spun back around, planting your feet as you stared directly into his eyes. He stopped suddenly almost on top of you, surprised by your sudden stop; his puppy dog eyes were begging you to forgive him.

“Exactly. You don’t want to, I get it counselor. I get it. I should have never--” you feigned tears welling up in your throat.

“Carino--” he went for your hand.

“Don’t. Just-- I’m sorry. For all of this,” You snapped your hand back and ran back inside the bar, noticing Barba following right behind you. Your fake tear filled face now slid into a sly smirk.

You were getting this moment come hell or high water now.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #svu fanfiction #build me up buttercup

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springday-aus · 4 years

Text

Enemies to Lovers!AU with Xiaojun

—

Group: NCT [+ WayV]

Member: Xiaojun / Xiao Dejun

Genre: fluff, comedy, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: approx. 2.4k

so, you’re Xiaojun’s enemy (he thinks of it more of his number one attacker tho)

it wasn’t hard considering he’s always on fight or flight mode and considering his friend group….

fight mode is always activated

(ง’̀-‘́)ง

so it started when you became friends with Ten

the guy is so sociable, so you were bound to meet him and his other friends someday

but jesus christ, there were soooo many of them

it was a party; he threw a literal party of just him and his friends

and then there were others who turned it into a rave (i.e. Hendery, Yangyang, Chenle and Donghyuk)

anyways, you got to mingle and make so many new friends

it was going really well

until Xiaojun entered the picture

things went well with him too, until you made a joke that didn’t exactly land with him

but it landed well with the others

Lucas: “who in their right mind would like mint chocolate”

Xiaojun: “but I like mint chocolate”

You: “then you’re not in your right mind lmao”

YangYang: “I mean, is Xiaojun ever in his right mind tho”

everyone laughs

except for one person

Xiaojun stood up, staring you down for a hot second, before trying to argue back

in which YangYang was the main responder

you didn’t really think much of it, laughing away with the others

but, to him, you just declared war that day

it shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did

but it did

so, from then on, things just got rockier

bc he started picking fights with you over the littlest things or he would argue with your points no matter what

you didn’t really think much of it bc he was also being picked on everyone else and you were like

every man for themselves huh

it wasn’t until he personally attacked you

it happened on Halloween

and he made an underhanded comment about how he’d look better in anything compared to you

so you made a “friendly” bet

but then you lost

bc Xiaojun looked better in the Jasmine costume than you and he def knew it too

and when he smirked at you

the grudge had been built

that’s probably when the mutual enemy status circulated around your friends

although, if they’re being honest, it’s so entertaining

especially since most of them like to gang up on Xiaojun too

and because of that unity, it’s only made things worse

from what the others can tell

you two don’t hate each other, but you def don’t get along

it ranges to food (e.g. mint chocolate chip incident that NO ONE lets go)

Lucas: “mint choco ain’t shit”

You: “retweet”

Xiaojun: “the attacks”

YangYang: “we cannot trust a man who eats bread with fucking lao gan ma”

You: “you eat what with bread?”

Xiaojun: “shut up. all of you.”

to activities

cue you two fighting about what movie to watch

Xiaojun: “Titanic is a classic!!!”

You: “it’s a joke, there was rOOM ON THE FUCKING DOOR”

Xiaojun: “IT’S ROMANTIC. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF SO SHE CAN LIVE.”

You: “THAT’S NOT ROMANTIC. THAT’S SUICIDAL, DUMBASS.”

this feud is def bc you’re both petty as fuck

the bickering is nonstop

but, if the nct boys are being honest

they’re lowkey confused bc Xiaojun is supposed to have a really high emotional tolerance

he doesn’t even yell this much at YangYang or Ten

(excluding that one time he hit YangYang with that pillow very hard)

but he does blow off his top when it comes to you

which is sus to a lot of the boys

whenever someone does ask him tho

he just kind of……………

mumbles underneath his breath and then moves onto something else

meanwhile, Yuta: “isn’t he always like that?”

Kun: “who wants to tell him”

lmao, I’m kidding

kind of

anyways, you two are really just going at it

what changes?

you have to go to the dentist and get your molars removed

which means someone has to take you and go pick you up

obviously, Ten was going to do that, considering you two were the closest

so he dropped you off and you had your surgery

so what happened?

welp, your buddy Ten forgot he had a prior engagement and, hence, was unable to pick you up

cue him spamming the groupchat

and Lucas exposing Xiaojun

Lucas: Xiaojun isn’t doing anything Xiaojun: you don’t know that Lucas: I do tho, go pick up (Y/N) Ten: I’ll buy you anything from that green tea cafe you like for a week Xiaojun: deal.

so he came to pick you up, both willingly and unwillingly

and you……. you were more than a hot mess

you were just a mess

you basically were just blacked out that entire time after they gave you the laughing gas and completed the surgery

so you remembered absolutely nothing.

your roommate: “this is what you get for doing drugs”

You: “IT WAS PURELY FOR MEDICINAL USE”

You: “IT’S NOT LIKE I DID CRACK”

either way, your roommate let you know of the situation, taking note of how your enemy had to take you home

which

again

no recollection

your roommate: “he’s fucking hot tho”

You: “ugh, I know”

but that’s also when you decided

Ten is a dead man :)

Ten: “I’M SORRY”

You: “YOU BETTER FUCKING BE”

Ten: “I KNOW”

Ten: “............................................but………………………………….”

Ten: “maybeyoushouldalsothankhimfortakingcareofyou”

You: “sorry not sorry, I’m contemplating murder rn”

Hendery: “what do you call a murder against a friend?”

Kun: “don’t”

Ten:

You:

Hendery: “it’s a homie-cide”

You and Ten: “NOT NOW”

anyways

you knew he was right

so after you calmed down, you went to Xiaojun’s place (thanks to Ten), with some sweets to thank him

Lucas opened the door, let you in, and left to go to the gym with Sicheng

Xiaojun came out of his room, a couple of minutes after, disheveled from his nap

and when he saw you in his living room couch, his eyes widened, darting around to avoid looking at you

You: “hi”

Xiaojun: “hello”

You: “why do you look so scared? I’m not gonna jump you”

he stays quiet, the blush becoming more apparent on his cheeks

You: “Ten told me you took me home after my surgery, so…………………… thanks”

Xiaojun: “he bribed me with pastries”

You: yeah, sounds about right

You: “still”

You: “um, I didn’t know what you would like, so I brought some sweets you can just go through”

Xiaojun: “thanks”

it’s silent for another moment and you consider bolting out from the apartment, Wizards of Waverly Place, Harper-style: “see ya in p.e.!” kind of a thing

but he speaks up once more

Xiaojun: “are you feeling okay now?”

You: “uh, yeah, my jaw still kind of hurts”

You: “but I have meds they prescribed to me for the next month or so”

he decides to stop beating the bush:

Xiaojun: “so do you remember what happened yesterday?”

You: “to be completely honest, no”

Xiaojun: “you… did a lot of things”

You: “what do you mean I did a lot of things”

Xiaojun: “you also said a lot of things too”

You: “..... are these things recorded?”

Xiaojun: “maybe”

Xiaojun: “some”

You: “dELETET HEM”

you actually considered tackling him, but deemed as too Yang-Yang-like

You: “what did I say”

Xiaojun: “I didn’t realize you thought I was handsome”

You: “wait what?”

Xiaojun: “you said, you had a crush on my ‘fine ass’”

You: “you know what? I think I’m gonna pull a Jack and commit suicide, goodbye”

Xiaojun: “ah, ah, ah, you said like, which is… present tense”

You: “semantics”

Xiaojun: “but did you like me at some point?”

You: “does it matter?”

Xiaojun: “yeah, it kind of does”

Xiaojun: “bc even tho we bicker, it’s, like, our thing”

Xiaojun: “plus, you’re kind of cute when you’re threatening to rip off my eyebrows”

You: “I did what?”

Xiaojun: “it’s no different from how you treat me now”

You: “I thought it’s because you don’t like me”

he just kind of shrugs, rubbing his neck rather sheepishly

Xiaojun: “you’ve seen my friends; arguing is our way of showing our affections”

You: “so, you’re saying this is your way of telling me you like me?”

Xiaojun: “I mean………“

Xiaojun: “are you saying you like me?”

You: “are you saying you like me?”

*cue another argument about who likes who*

eventually, he found a way to shut you up

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

cut to Lucas and Sicheng coming back from the gym to you and Xiaojun making out on the couch

Lucas: “NASTY”

Sicheng: “what did we…. miss?”

Ten somewhere: I fucking called it.

anyways

you both decided to date that day

and you two still bicker an insane amount, which includes you nitpicking Xiaojun’s tastes to Xiaojun refusing to delete those videos of you under the laughing gas despite your threats

but, the only difference is, your arguments can end with a kiss

and it always freaks out the guys whenever you do

Donghyuk: “I’m too young to be seeing this monstrosity”

Mark: “ngl, this is nice for them—they’ve stopped arguing”

YangYang: “I weirdly prefer them arguing over them with those sappy eyes tho”

You: “we can hear you”

Chenle: “but when have we ever cared?”

You: “I’m gonna beat your ‘01 liner ass istg—”

Xiaojun: “calm”

oh, you know what’s fun about your relationship?

you two can’t agree on some stuff right?

so whenever you have to decide something, say a movie or dinner, you two just heads-or-tails it

(there’s also this cute app where you put your options on a wheel and let that decide—the amount of times you’ve used that on your dates…… anyways)

most of the time, on these dates, you seem more like an old married couple and it’s super cute

it’s bc you’re already used to your worse sides coming out—the really petty ones, the screaming ones, the ugly ones

ofc these aren’t from serious arguments that occur

(remember folks, it isn’t healthy for you and your partner to always be fighting)

but when serious arguments do occur, you both take time to sit down and talk face-to-face

it’s hard to get into actual arguments with him, especially since he really is understanding and tries to pay attention to the smaller details

Xiaojun: “I like learning more about you”

You: “you can’t just say that kind of shit to me”

like, yeah, he’ll debate with you all night about why he needs to read the words of his book out loud but, by the end of the day, you’ll lay your head in his lap and listen to his voice as you fall asleep

speaking of which, you love listening to him sing to you

he gets a bit embarrassed sometimes about it, but seeing you smile so brightly at him makes him forget about it

because even tho you two bicker about little things, in the end, it just makes you two laugh at one another and how ridiculous you’re being

I almost forgot, so Ten thinks of him pairing you two off right?

so, whenever he does something annoying to either of you, he’ll constantly bring it up

Ten: “I guess this is how you two treat me, your personal cupid—”

Xiaojun: “yes, yes, we are grateful for you”

You: “but it would be nice if you would stop making those annoying sounds”

Ten: “what annoying sounds?”

YangYang: “that’s just you talking”

okay, no, but yeah—the nct boys are glad this rivalry is over because it was really just…. stupid to the core

but also bc you two look super sweet together and seeing you two making each other happy rather than annoyed is adorable

but just bc you two got together doesn’t mean the pettiness isn’t still there

You: “what type of freak sleeps with their eyes opened?”

Xiaojun: “I’m sleeping next to you, of course I need to keep both eyes open”

You: “RUDE”

Xiaojun: “and yet here we are”

You: “son of a bitch”

Xiaojun: “YOUR son of a bitch”

You: “eh, I’ll take it”

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