#and them become a tumblr sexyman

[the-spooky-children]

I have two wolves in me

One wants Skidad to be a chaotic evil irredeemable villain that kills kids for his immortality cult and only married Lila and has Skid for the cult

The other wants Skidad to have done terrible no good very bad things for the cult but then died and has been trapped in the mannequin and forced to reflect on all the shit he's done for years until by episode 10 he's a completely different person and he still cracks jokes all the time

[sidesteppostinghours]

VOTE BLAZE FOR FHR TUMBLR SEXYMAN

now why on earth would i, a humble man, ask the people to vote for blaze over ricardo? what basis could i possibly have to convince you to consider him over (arguably) los diablos most eligible bachelor?? friends, i come to you with two simple arguments:

1. blaze shows a surprising amount of depth when you dive under the flashy exterior

2. i cannot stress enough how funny it would be to watch ortega lose in the first round

blaze is undeniably a suave, arrogant asshole who desperately needs somebody to kick his ass. hes a little prick to the puppet (if theyre male, if theyre female he switches his tune Damn Quick) and he somehow managed to fumble chen??? which is frankly embarrassing for him.

However. however. hes shown in both very small interactions when you meet him and during the actual fight to be a competent, strategic hero who cares about the people. as step points out, when the puppet stumbles over him his immediate reaction is to treat them like somebody who needed help. during the fight, he first takes the time to strategize, making sure to dial back his powers to make sure nobody gets hurt– to the point that he hinders himself. even chen says that blaze always had careful control, to the point where if you fry him in the meeting room, chen suspects somethings up.

hes also surprisingly reasonable about step, giving serious thought to what they say and do regardless of how cruel of a villain they are. yeah ok ortega has the 'sympathetic' villain relationship status but does that really do anything about his perceptions of them??? he still readily calls them a monster during the villain reveal. meanwhile it takes one(1) conversation with blaze to get him questioning his bosses, and it literally does not matter how many people youve killed, he ends up pestering alvarez about it anyway. i firmly believe that hes put a lot more thought about the problems in the system he works under, even if he puts more faith in it than he should.

anyway thats enough serious propaganda, heres the sillier ones: hes such a loser. like 24/7 nonstop. this man is utterly pathetic. i know i talked about how good he is as a hero but listen to me. he gets all dismissive about a step that has less than 55 infamy, but i have 9 steps (though i only talk about 4). i have lost to him by accident Once. i have to codedive so i can lose to him On Purpose for the achievement it is so bad. it is so funny watching all the ways he can eat shit during that fight. truly the pinnacle of bisexual failboy.

I ALMOST FORGOT THAT HE ACCIDENTALLY KINDA OUTS HIS CONNECTION WITH CHEN BECAUSE HE WAS BEING SALTY??? LIKE

POV YOU KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MARSHAL OF LOS DIABLOS SECRET FOR MONTHS ONLY TO POTENTIALLY EXPOSE IT TO A RANDO BCAUSE YOU WERE MAD ABOUT BEING EXES.

it has also come to my attention via @allens-chocolate-dreams that rat king can become his fan if step falls out the window again and this is extremely important to me.

can rat king be a fan of ortega??? no, because ortega is a loser whos immune to telepathy. very clear whos superior here imo. oh and im probably legally required to say that he has fire powers which makes him objectively hotter than ortega.

finally and most importantly,

if blaze wins i will draw ric dying in a glue trap.

[leadendeath]

mate. im sitting in the confessional right now with this.

i have a "guilty ?pleasure?"- well, not pleasure exactly, it's just something to background listen to while i do other stuff... so that i don't have to look at the show's art style which i generally do not like much- maybe a better term is a "bad habit"- of putting on peoples' reviews/video essays of the works of someone whose name sounds a lot like "fizziepop".

and let me tell ya.

the combo of the double take/"oh no he's cute" feeling i got when i saw this guy.

i have too much of a mental sickness for this they can't be doing this to me man. i almost had a moment of "......hmmmmaybe i could give the show a try 🤔" weakness. can u guess why. take a guess. a wild one.

help me.

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Tell me creature … what do you think about … (pulls a folded slip from my pocket, unfolding it and showing you the contents)

… THEM?

(the paper is a print of sun and moon from fnaf)

this is more of a "not my thing but i see the appeal" type moment

[demethinkstoomuch]

Here is my major note in support of Cecil for top Tumblr Sexyman: I say some variation of “No pet is perfect. It becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is,” on the regular. Sometimes, I say it as a joke, in the vein of long-loved gags such as “Maybe the real [X] was the friends we made along the way”, but it’s surprisingly versatile. Yeah, sometimes things become perfect when you accept them for what they are. And sometimes you say that about, like, potatoes, or RNG cycles. 

[depressedcatgirl]

i know this might be a controversial opinion but i dont get horror media that has cute characters that look like muppets or cute stuffed toys that either go on to become 1) a thing for youtubers to milk for content and end up getting toys so kids will beg their parents to get it 2) become obscure tumblr sexy men that ppl simp for...like i have weird taste in fictional men too but i just dont understand why everyone is simping for these muppet looking mfers and drawing hot fanart of them afgdsfhsfdhs

[arafergirl-artdump]

I didn't planned to make this blog about my hyperfixations/special interest/whatever the hell happening in between those, but here. Have fun seeking 2 references here. このブログでは、ボクのハイパーフィクセーションや特別な興味、それらの間に起こっていることについて書くつもりはなかったが、ここで書く。 ここで 2 つの参考文献を探して楽しんで。

(btw this is my Big Animated Project I Make For 4 Years or so™--)

(ところにそれって4年間以上に作っているアニメーションプロジェクト™--)

EDIT: Now i'm walking on thin ice here...

追記：今、薄氷の上を歩いてる…

[cornfieldsrambles]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO INFODUMP PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT WIGGLY'S SIBLINGS???? THAT HE APPARENTLY HAS????

omg ok SO

Meet the Lords in Black. Charming, aren't they?

Yes, Wiggly does indeed have four brothers who all do different things, so I'll cover them one by one, in order of introduction (since we've already met each of them in Nightmare Time at least once). BTW Nightmare Time has a fuckton of lore in it that I won't go into here, so even though I am about to spoil significant parts of it for you, I do recommend watching it, it's really good and if there's enough interest they might make a third one!

(Also you might notice they're all in doll form in this picture. This is how we knew them up until NPMD introduced us to what I call their Tumblr sexyman forms. Which are rad as hell by the way.)

So you already know Wiggly. That little green fucker, Wiggog Y'Wrath, the Capitalist Cthulu who does uwu-speak and starts a cult by invading people's minds. This will become a bit of a reoccurring theme with these guys. He's also the only one to successfully start an apocalypse, and the only one to have attempted to birth himself into our reality. (Or is he? We'll get to that...) He does seem to have some kind of dominion over the other LiB, as whenever all five of them show up there's always emphasis placed on him, like in NPMD where he does most of the talking while his siblings occasionally butt in.

Now for Bliklotep. Blinky seems to have slightly lower-scale ambitions than Wiggly, but don't let that fool you. Eyeball Boi is still incredibly dangerous. He runs an amusement park, WatcherWorld, deep within the Hatchetfield Witchwood. But it's not for the amusement of the patrons. Oh no. It's for Blinky's own amusement. Once you step inside, every insecurity, every shred of potential conflict will be ripped to the forefront, turning people against each other to the point of trying to kill each other until he's fully infected their minds. It's implied that, if not all, but a significant chunk of the workers at WatcherWorld were once patrons before having their minds taken over by Blinky. He's also implied to be the thing in Trail To Oregon that Jack Bauer sees during his venom-induced hallucination, as Blinky is referred to as "The Watcher With 1,000 Eyes", which is exactly what JB says he sees? Making Blinky the only LiB to induce a Starkid crossover. My headcanon is that the Dikrats founded Hatchetfield. But regardless.

Next up on the roster is Tinky. T'noy Karaxis, the Time Bastard. You may be wondering about that one line in NPMD where he recognised Pete as a Spankoffski, and said he "could have the whole set in his toybox". Has Tinky gone after Pete's relatives?

Well. Um. You know Ted, right? Yeah, his name is Spankoffski. He's Pete's big brother. We actually got the surname reveal before the brother reveal, lol. And that's not the only reveal we got about Ted. Our boy Teddy Bear has this whole entire tragic backstory and it turns out he gets fucked over in literally every timeline! Isn't that fun?

So, to summarise an entire episode: Tinky makes travel fuckery happen, Ted wants to go back in time to fix his life, accidentally goes back to before the time machine was created and gets stuck in the past, literally. Tinky is watching and laughing at the whole thing, then shows up to blow Ted's brain to smithereens with his weird little magic box, the Bastard's Box, where he stores all the people he toys with. Anyway Ted eventually catches up with the present by aging, except now no one knows who he is, he's... actually I won't spoil that. But once he dies he ends up eternally trapped and tortured in the Bastard's Box. Yaaay.

Fast forward to Nightmare Time 2 and we get introduced to Nibbly, in possibly the most unexpected way imaginable. He's revealed to have been behind a whole episode literally right at the end of said episode, and even though it was kind of foreshadowed, it hits you like a freight train in the best way. Remember when I said Wiggly was the only one who tried to birth himself into reality? That was kind of a lie. Nibblenephim can sort of do that anyway. Every year, he can possess a bunch of carcasses and create a living form to walk the earth for one night. He also has a cult of followers who provide him with the carcasses, as well as a sacrifice to feed on. There's a little more to it, specifically with how the sacrifice is chosen, but again, I'm trying to spoil as little as possible. Go watch Nightmare Time. Nibbly also seems to have a "pig" motif, and his theme song, The Nibbly Ditty, is a banger, easily my favourite of the three LiB theme songs we've heard so far.

And finally, we are introduced to Pokotho, in the very last episode of NMT2.

Except no. We were formally introduced to Pokey there, yes, but we've seen his apocalypse already. Long before NPMD, before Nightmare Time, even before Black Friday.

Yeah, remember me saying that Wiggly was the only one to successfully start an apocalypse? That was also a lie! Pokey already did that, and he did it without ever showing his masked face. Remember The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals? The blue spores that came down in a meteor and turned everyone into singing zombies? That was Pokey's doing! That's his blue spores! That's his apocalypse!

This also provides an explanation for why blowing up the meteor didn't work. Emma and Hidgens were right about the hivemind thing, but wrong about the location of the central brain. It wasn't the meteor - the meteor was just the vessel which carried the spores to Earth. The central brain was sitting safely up in the Black and White, laughing as Paul blew himself to smithereens. The central brain was Pokey, the Singular Voice, the most uncompromising of his brothers. The one who hates every voice that is not his own, hence the hivemind and making all of his zombies speak in HIS voice.

Anyway in NMT2 he's happily collecting musical zombies by taking on a human form and infiltrating a fighting ring of superpowered children until he has enough to kickstart another apocalypse. (Don't question it, we're almost done). He also calls himself Otho, not Pokey, making him the only LiB to have two different abbreviations of his name. Hannah is also there (remember her? Lex's little sister?) and she is like incredibly important to this whole thing, she has a super powerful mind, but that's a whole other thing.

But I did mention Hannah for a reason. Because you said "Wiggly's SIBLINGS". And while the Lords in Black are always referred to as brothers, they do have one more sibling. A sister. A Queen in White. And her name is Webby.

Yep, Hannah's imaginary friend isn't imaginary, who could have guessed? She's benevolent, always trying her best to combat her brothers' antics, but given that there's one of her and five of them, this is a bit of an uphill battle. Webby doesn't have a full name that we know of, nor does she have a doll. We don't know much about her. And she may not be all-powerful - but then again, neither are her brothers.

Infodump concluded. Hope this helps, it was very fun to write.

[janedoeremi]

Tumblr Memes of 2023

January: Polls, Bug Race, Tumblr Sexyman Round 2, No Fly List Leak

February: Vanilla Extract, Tumblr Sexywoman Polls, Homestuck Fandom Commiting Voter Fraud, Miette decimating Todoroki in Blorbo Polls, Just so many polls

March: Dean Winchester and his Time Traveling Impala in The Winchesters, Celebrating Ides of March a week early, March 14th: The Day Krabs Fries, Ides of March, Autism Swag Poll, Ultimate Cat Girl (Gender Neutral) Poll, Putin having a warrent for his arrest, The Bots returned with a vengance

April: April Fools Day, Sonic the Hedgehog died, Trumps arrest, Barbie Arresting Trump, Everyone getting a Barbie description, Poll with Nina Tucker and Alexander needs them to tie to move on together, hyperspecific polls, Misha Collins assigned Bisexual by the WB, Elon Musk being the victim of Murphy's Law, It's gonna be May

May: Dracula Daily cast is stuck in a time loop, Trigun stan causes book: This Is How You Lose the Time War to become a bestseller, whatever the fuck happened with Eurovision, TOTK releases and gave us our feral Link back, Barbie and Ken arrested template.

June: Pride month, Across the Spiderverse... just all of it, trump getting arrested...again, The Great Reddit Migration & r/196, Horse Race, Meows Morales, The week long Titanic Oceangate Iron Lung Clusterfuck, Destial 'i love you' news meme trends at least 4 different times for different reasons, Papyrus says fuck day

July: Twitter post rationing causing Tumblr Migration 2: Electric Boogaloo, ao3 went down for 2 days, ao3 readers debating on going back to wattpad/ff.net, Barbieheimer double feature, Tree Law invoked, Elon renamed Twitter to X

August: Tiktok trying and failing to make their own Goncharov: Zepotha, Destiel confirmed canon again by not-so-rouge translator, Riverdale polycule finale, Trump mugshot, One Piece Live Action Pirate-Clown annoys Tumblr users

September: Mole Interest, Ice King became a Tumblr Sexyman again, 21st of September.

October: Spooky month, Merlin Twitter updates for first time in years to show streaming options confusing fans, The Amazing Digital Circus and Nerdy Prudes Must Die both trend for a week straight, trying to insert Markipler into the FNAF Movie

November: Nov. 5th 3rd year anniversary, Zach and Cody get their dinner reservation after 15 years. Goncharovs 1st 50th anniversary.

December: Gavle Goat being devoured by Jackdaws, Hbomberguy lives up to his name and nukes James Somerton's plagerism ridden channel, Its Dec 10th, We're gonna have to kill this guy template, almost Christmas, one more sleep til Christmas (screams internally), Halloween trends on Christmas Eve

[fandom]

Deltarune

This is Toby Fox’s website and we’re just living on it. For more than seven years, his games have cast a spell on Tumblr, stealing the hearts of fans with their winning combination of storytelling, innovative gameplay, and characters filled with heart and determination. Our first look at Toby’s world of monsters and humans came in 2015 when Undertale was released. We learned the meaning of mercy and that while talking through conflict might not be the easiest path, it’s always the right one. When the first chapter of Deltarune came out in 2018, absolute chaos ensued. We met Kris, Susie, and Ralsei and set off on a brand new adventure where you fell in love with the Undertale universe all over again.

The second chapter came as a complete surprise and was one of the best gifts Tumblr received in the past year. You immediately latched onto the continuation of some of the best lore in gaming and memed the living heck out of it. You also spammed our dashes with a tiny little man in pink and yellow sunglasses—so much so that he ended up becoming the #1 video game character on all of Tumblr this year. Spamton had a chance to become a [[big shot!]] and, boy, did he take it. 

And he wasn’t the only new character Deltarune threw into the mix. As a game with a combat system based almost entirely (if you’re playing correctly) on social interactions, its characters are key. They're relatable and make you want to root for them. Even, and often especially, for the bad guys. We can almost hear you yelling, “I can fix him!” into the void, and we believe you! Remember that one time you talked about the Deltarune villain, Queen, so much you skewed the tag data for one of the biggest bands of all time and the actual Queen of England? We sure do. And when Noelle Holiday joined the party, your team was finally complete.

This year marked the first anniversary of Deltarune’s second chapter, and you celebrated with every post type Tumblr has to offer. You survived the Tumblr Sexyman poll and the Spamton Sweepstakes, and for that, you all deserve the shiniest gold ribbon.

All of this to say that Toby Fox wins Tumblr. Undertale, for Tumblr, was a total cultural reset, and its impact is still felt even seven years later. It first appeared on our weekly video games list way back on September 21, 2015, just days after the game’s release—and it has been on every single list but one since then. So we’ve always known that Deltarune would find a loving home on Tumblr, and it truly has been so loved.

[sunrise-imagines]

I have a big fat crush on Simon and Finn would you please do some hcs for either of them

Since I’ve already done some for Finn, I think now is a good time to write a little for Simon! Watching him become the latest Tumblr Sexyman™️ has been a dream come true.

*Ending contains spoilers for the last two episodes of Fionna and Cake*

TW: Trauma (this is Simon “‘My fiancé turned into a cosmic deity’ ‘That’s rough buddy’” Petrikov we’re dealing with), mentions of Depression, hurt/comfort

Simon Petrikov x Reader General Relationship Headcanons

• Oh boy, this one’s a doozy.

• Please be patient with him. He is a mess of a person currently, still dealing with the grief of losing Betty and feeling like he doesn’t belong in Ooo no longer being magic. He gets so wrapped up in his sadness that he can neglect the relationships he has in the present. This gets much better after the ending though.

• Self care days are a must, please just pamper this man with a nice hot bath and a massage every once in a while.

• Really good cook, he loves making food for you and it makes him feel like he can actually take care of you.

• He worries about you a lot, especially if you’re someone that likes to take risks and do dangerous stuff.

• He’s a big nerd so he gets excited if you share interests in stuff like science and literature.

• Although he doesn’t like to go on life-threatening adventures (Finn), he still loves the exploring the outdoors and the two of you regularly go for hikes around the safer parts of Ooo.

• Will be very happy if you also have a good friendship with Marceline, seeing his partner and adoptive daughter interact touches his heart.

• Such a simp for you, like if you ask him for anything he will make it his mission to fulfill your request

• His love language is definitely words of affirmation. He needs you to tell him how much you care about him and he loves saying the same to you. He could go on for hours about every little thing he loves about you.

• Marcy and Bonnie will come over for dinner a few times a week, sometimes joined by Finn and HW as well.

• He hates celebrating his own birthday (he’s turning 60) but he loves yours and will definitely bake you a cake and throw small birthday party for you. The party only consists of a few close friends but if you don’t like parties he’s perfectly fine with it being just the two of you.

• At first he wasn’t sure if you would even want to date an old man like him, but as time went on he became more confident in himself and that he deserves love just as much as anyone else, and he’s more than happy to share that love with you.

Bonus!

• Despite her current state, GolBetty is immensely happy seeing Simon finally able to move on and be happy.

• Even if they never got their happy ending, the fact that you and him are able to live happily together brings her peace, and she trusts you to take care of him.

[blacktabbygames]

Much like with the princesses, did you expect the voices popularity? Any surprises with them?

the only surprise is that the cold has yet to become a tumblr sexyman

[strawberryraviegutz]

(Haven’t read the book of Bill yet so no spoilers pls. But this needs to be said.)

Sooo now that Bill Cipher is becoming popular again, we’re all gonna not shit on and treat EVERY/ALL human designs of Bill as valid right? We’re not gonna bully and or harass ppl for their own interpretations even if it’s a “skinny white male twink in a suit” right?

We’re not gonna have internalized misogyny and make fun of/bully women(since majority of ppl who simp for/selfship with Bill or these types of characters in general are women and young teenage girls) for finding bill and or skinny twink designs of human bill attractive right?

We’re not gonna use that one doodle Alex hirsch made FOR FUN(he literally said Bill wouldn’t have a human form canonically, meaning we get to headcanon WHATEVER THE HECK WE WANT.) to “own the fangirls/simps” right?

We’re gonna ACTUALLY GO AGAINST CRINGE CULTURE and not make exceptions for bill cipher simps just because you personally find them “cringe” for wanting to selfship with and or fuck a FICTIONAL SHAPESHIFTING demonic eldritch triangle right?

We’re not gonna use the term tumblr sexyman as an insult right? We’re not gonna ignore the millions of poc(myself included) who simp for/selfship with Bill cipher(or tumblr sexymen in general)and call it “white ppl shit/white women shit” right?

(Only reason I stopped selfshipping with bill was because yall were non stop bullying/harassimg the hell out of ppl who found Bill attractive in any way. Tho I’m feeling a bit nostalgic due to the book of bill coming out so I MAYBE might start selfshipping with him again. But that’s a HUGE maybe since ppl online can’t be normal about anything they personally don’t find appealing..)

We’re overall going to actually be NORMAL AND KIND TO EACH OTHER this time right?

RIGHT??

[99redragons]

Its just so fucking funny that the rainbow Important Checkmarks have become so fanon tied to joe’s image. He will never recover from this. Especially now that he’s Mcyt Tumblr Sexyman. His image will forever be synonymous with tumblr and i cant get over that. Eyes, wings, halos, sparkles, however fanart does them, they’re entrenched in the green-beetlejhost-neon-punk aesthetic now. People are gonna include them for years.

Ultimate example of sexymanification and he did it on purpose. When has a sexyman ever been metagamed so hard into existence. They’re supposed to be unexpected (he is.always.) theyre supposed to be unconventional (thats the Joe Hills Difference) But mostly they’re never created to have the response they do. to be fair, joe was already one, but to ascend so fast and so hard in such an intentional way …

There’s no escape now, he’s been branded with these colorful stars and he has lived and breathed of our lands so deep he is now shaped by them.

[ominus-potato]

Need a universe where your MarWare fankid grows into a Tumblr sexy man like his tv dad.

Dunno about Tumblr sexyman but he’s pretty darn cute!

He grew into his eyes a bit although they’re a little red. He still has his noodle legs too but he can actually walk with them now! Just has a little bit of a limp. Head is still dented too. It’s not as obvious but the dents are still there. Also I changed his screen from green to red to get a bit more of Mario in there.

This is just my interpretation of how he’d look. I know a few people already have their own designs and headcanons for him so feel free to keep adding your own interpretation of this character. This is just how I imagine he’d look when he’s older.

Lore:

With the combination of Mario’s wackiness and Mr Puzzles creativity, SpagheTV managed to become a successful director at a big studio! Bigger than Mr Puzzles ever was. He mostly specialises in horror movies and he spent years away from home as he was building his career.

He didn’t see his parents for about 5 years as he was working abroad but then he finally saw them again at an event where he was accepting an award for his work. He was definitely nervous to see them. Part of him was worried that Mr Puzzles would be a little upset that his son had managed to out-do him in the movie industry but nope!

As soon as Mario spotted him, he ran over to him and gave him a big hug, crying about how much he missed him. Puzzles did the same, trying not to cry as much, and both are extremely proud of SpagheTV.

Sorry angst enjoyers! Everyone is a big happy family here!

(Again, feel free to interpret SpagheTV in your own way! If you wanna make him a crazy angst ridden broken child then go nuts!)

[borrelia]

Sonic Old Man Yaoi/Old Woman Yuri Knockout Round 2

Do Not Disappoint Me...

TWO pairings with the LEAST votes will be eliminated

Intros to each pairing + propaganda from last round below

Gerald Robotnik was Eggman's grandfather, introduced in Sonic Adventure 2. He made a false deal with Black Doom to create Shadow the Hedgehog in exchange for the Chaos Emeralds, making them both Shadow's dads. They definitely banged and had some kind of toxic mess of a relationship.

Grimer Wormtongue is a nasty little assistant to Ivo Robotnik in Fleetway Sonic the Comic. He is extremely devoted to his cruel master, which is for sure a sexual thing.

Propaganda by @/jorrated [link]

Ebony the Mystic Mog and Pyjamas the Psychic are two characters from Sonic the Comic who appear briefly in a Knuckles story, then become minor recurring characters that take in Super Sonic from the streets. They appear as old friends in their introduction and are implied to live together. If these two aren't married, it's only because Mobius is homophobic.

Mephiles the Dark and Iblis are two halves of the sun/time god Solaris, introduced in Sonic '06. Iblis is kind of just a big fire monster I think but Mephiles orchestrates this whole plot through the course of the game to re-merge with Iblis and form Solaris. Which sounds like some pretty twisted villainous gay devotion to me.

Starline and Eggman were allowed in by popular vote, mostly by Eggman's qualifying age. Dr. Starline is a character from the IDW Sonic the Hedgehog comic. He is a fanboy and devotee of Eggman, restoring Eggman's lost memories and assisting him in his Metal Virus plot. Starline eventually plots to betray Eggman, as he believes himself smarter and more genre-savvy than his idol. He is of course wrong and Eggman beats the shit out of him and kills him to death. Starline is sort of like gen z's Grimer, kind of the tumblr sexyman dark academia Grimer, in that he's younger and prettier than Grimer, but he probably still wants to fuck that old man so bad.