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#and then Goose is just stuck there
ghouljams · 10 months
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Ghoul if you don’t write Ghost absolutely falling apart ugly crying when he discovers what Gooses scar is about and how he possibly could have never met the love of his life Elmo is gonna SUE
Make. That. Man. Cry!!!
He doesn’t even bother knocking when he opens your door. You clutch your shirt to your chest, glaring over your shoulder at Simon. Rude. He just raises a brow and shuts the door tight behind him.
“Got a minute?” He asks, moving close, and you know you’re not going to tell him no. Not when his hand cups your face and he lets you tug his mask down to kiss him, your shirt forgotten on the floor.
He must’ve just come in. His skin is still warm from the sun where you touch him, and there’s the last taste of tobacco on his tongue. His hand slides over your chest as he kisses you, giving your breast an appreciative squeeze before dragging towards your fly. You make a quiet noise against his lips when it slips over your scar, his touch stilling against the slightly raised edges of it.
Simon's fingers feel over the scar, rough calloused pads dragging along the sensitive delicate skin. The ugly line of it where it cuts across your stomach. He drags his fingers along the whole thing, from your waist to where it stops just below your belly button. You wish you knew what he was thinking. You've had years to grow out of being self conscious, but that didn't mean it didn't still rear its ugly head. Especially when it was a man you- 
Simon probably doesn't even care, his torso is littered with scars. You're sure he doesn't even remember how he got half of them. 
"How'd you get this beauty?" He asks, so quiet you almost don't hear him.
"Sort of a blur," you tell him. He nods like he understands, you think he does.
"Tell me." Simon hums, dropping to his knees and pressing his lips to the top of the scar on your waist. You do your best not to wince, remembering the way the bull's horn had torn into you.
"Was helping the Lucas'," You start, "their bull is tipped now but back then they were all about-" Simon kisses you again, lower down the scar, your breath hitches, "-natural, uh, natural horns. I must've spooked it or something because it-" you let out a pained hum when he presses his lips lower still, tracing the line of the scar with his mouth, "-it caught me with its horn and ripped me clean open." You finish in a rush, Simon freezes.
"It what?" You hate when his voice goes even like that. When you can't hear his breathing anymore.
"Gutted, tore, nearly eviscerated," you give him the words the doctors used, that your dad used when he was upset. Your stomach jumps when Simon kisses it again, clean flesh this time, and presses his forehead against your diaphragm. "If Soap hadn't been there I probably wouldn't have made it," that's what the doctors had told him at least, "you know how long it takes EMS to get anywhere out here," Simon's fingers tighten on your hips, "he kept pressure the whole time, made sure all my guts stayed put." 
You thread your fingers through Simon's hair, scratching and pulling affectionately, "It's funny I don't even remember what we'd gone over to help with, but I remember how blue the sky was while I was laying in the grass waiting."
Simon has gone very quiet. He's completely still, save for his thumbs rubbing small circles against your hips. You're not sure who he's soothing. It happens quickly, his arms wrap around your hips and lift you so fast you have to duck to avoid hitting the ceiling fan. Curling over his head before he drops you on your bed. 
You let out a noise of surprise, opening your arms for him as Simon climbs on top of you and lays down. His head settled against your chest, his arms wrapped tight around your waist, he doesn't say a word and you- you don't either. You let him have his silence. You let him lay on you, listen to the beat of your heart, the way your lungs fill when you take a breath, the rush of blood, the sounds of life. A life he almost missed. 
He's never been more thankful for one Sergeant MacTavish in his life. Never been more thankful for you, and all the little ways life had to go just right for him to meet you. Your fingers scratch the base of his skull, and you’re humming some quiet lilting tune he doesn’t know, but he wants to. He wants to know every thought that goes through your head, every kindness you’ll ever afford him. Every way he could show you he loves you. 
“You cryin’ baby?” You ask him gently, there’s no judgement in your voice, just the question.
“No.” He lies, feeling you hum your acceptance.
“S’okay,” You tell him, “I don’t mind.”
And you don’t. So he does.
Big heaving silent sobs that shake his whole body, fat tears that you brush away with every gentleness. You don’t think Ghost has ever cried, but you think Simon has needed to for a while. And he’s crying for you, over a loss that didn’t happen, over the pain you went through. Over the lonely days waiting for your body to be whole again, and the fact that neither of you will ever be lonely again. Maybe you’ll be hurt, but never lonely. You’ll make sure of it. He’ll make sure of it.
"Johnny burn down the Lucas' house?" Simon asks, looking up from where he'd buried his face in your chest with watery eyes.
"Just their barn," you cup his cheek, wiping away a stray tear with your thumb. Simon gives you a little hiccuping sob around his frown and angry eyebrows.
"Should've killed 'em." It's a little hard to take him seriously when his voice wobbles like that. When his lip trembles and tears start falling again. You shush him, and let him press his face against you again.
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actuallyitsstar · 2 months
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grief is not a feeling, but a neighborhood. this is where i come from. everyone i love still lives here. // (insp.)
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creaturefeaster · 1 month
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doodle page from tonight
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undercooked-spaghetti · 9 months
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I just love that Sugiura is so used to Kaito and Yagami's stupid bullshit that he's unfazed and just making plans to treat himself after seeing those two idiots in another conundrum.
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imperial-agent · 7 months
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Hello! I just completed the 5some scene witb Halsin and Astarion and I dont really have anyone to comment this with I hope you dont mind me dropping here real quick to say [SPOILERS]
So... he just dissociates no matter what? I completed Astarion's quest and I could swear that meant he wouldnt dissociate in the scene. But I think what bothers me the most isnt even the dissociating itself but the lack of response from the Player Character. I just LET him?? I dont comfort him, I dont stop the whole thing in its tracks??
And its the only way to get Halsin's backstory?? Am I doing something wrong? I feel so conflicted about the whole thing. Opinions? Thanks for reading this far if you have, sorry for any inconvenience!
I don't claim to be the best source on Astarion lore or on his storyline consistencies/inconsistencies since we're like a bitter divorced couple, I can't talk about him without getting slightly annoyed. But,
I got that exact same scene (5some) after Astarion's story conclusion. To me it makes sense that he's still distant - we fixed his Cazador situation but we didnt fix his sexual abuse issue because he never brought up the trauma. I'm assuming you didnt romance Astarion ang got this scene? For me, a non-Astarionmancer it made sense, since he never told me about his intimacy issues in the first place. But if that happened to you, and you romanced him, then I can still understand him being distant in that moment. He's not that into sex with other people and you just asked him to perform in front of 4 others. I can see how he would default to an auto-pilot. But that's assuming you did romance him. If you didn't then there's not much to be surprised about. He's tired of performing seduction.
To me, it's not that big of a deal that the PlayerCharacter doesn't respond to catching Astarion drift away. Without romancing him and learning about his baggage PC at best can only assume that Astarion is not into sex due to his past of sleeping with his victims and that possibly bringing up bad memories. Since the narraror line about him being distant during the encounter was only a brief mention (narrator mentions PC and Astarion catching eyes for a moment, any further descriptions of his performative behaviour are a general description of the scene since nothing is visible, not necessarly describing what the PC is seeing).
What! I! Fully! Agree! With! You! Is how Halsin's mega traumatic backstory is only ever accessible through a hidden option (i wouldn't even call it a mission, just a random NPC conversation) in Act 3. That conversation could have been naturally implemented into the (currently bare-bone) Halsin romance route. This is why I'm still screaming about letting the players have access to Halsin as a companion in Act 1 already, so that he can go with the PC to the Underdark. That could lead to him having some flashbacks to his time there, and perhaps slipping in some titbits during idk the exploration of the wizard tower in the underdark and him seeing the chain mounted to a wall and that bringing up some nasty memories?? Like the story writes itself, it's all there but I'm guessing the devs had better things to do then flesh out their fanservice and fan demands. Like adding Halsin as a romance options SHOULD HAVE BEEN a post release thing !!!
My opinions are more or less summed up here. It's ass that an abuse victim such as Astarion gets all the special treatment and a catharsis while Halsin, who also went through a traumatic experience doesn't. He actually laughs it off. But that's okay, people cope differently. So why not have us explore his backstory more? Well, it's crunch of course. The devs had no time to put love and care into Halsin even tho him being a romance option/companion (so those conversations about his past wouldn't come up) wasn't even on their initial goal list, just something a few discord people suggested.
I feel like the writers had too much on their plates and too little time to make sure inconsistencies in character motivations/ reactions, backstories don't occur. But we should all be happy Astarion got all the attention he deserved. Oh, you're saying there are other companions in this game too? Since when?
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desitenya · 1 year
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his hair sucks to draw so bad whatsgoing on with youre head
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oh my god the new d20 trailer? neverafter? looks great i’m having a Time analyzing
thinking about the character choices, though, especially murph’s. he’s the frog prince, i think, and from what i can figure that’s the one of the only grimm tales that isn’t pure horror: a frog turns back into a prince after the princess throws him against a wall (intending to kill him). while the rest of the pcs can be decidedly and easily messed with, but this prince gets a happy ending in story standards and marries the girl (and his servant gets his heart released from chains because he’s so happy to see his boss). where did the *frog* come (back) from? why is he here? where’s any reference to his connections?
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aspideronmywall · 7 months
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I know the club didn't have all that much blue lighting but...it had a strong blue vibe.
If y'all want to recommend other characters from top gun any suggestions would be welcome.
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legionofpotatoes · 1 year
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man post-andor star wars feels so embarrassing
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omo-goose · 1 year
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when you accidentally hold for a long time or don't get the urge to go for a long time dispite drinking a bunch and like when it finally hits you it's like instantly gotta hold yourself to keep it from just absolutely flooding your pants automatically... yeah
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name-that-isnt · 9 months
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Bamboozled rn, as the only thing continuing my use of the grayrose label over the aroace label is the fact that I think I've felt sexual and romantic attraction before, I just don't quite remember when
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loosiusgoosius · 4 months
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Shaking like a traumatized dog, will bite any human within range, needs complete silence and dark < just had to be social for the whole day
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quirkle2 · 1 year
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technicolorxsn · 10 months
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getting emotional over wowaka again...
#unknown mother goose is still incredibly close to my heart#as someone who lives with a bleeding heart on their sleeve it just.. hits#esp given ive always had A Thing about perception and wanting people to understand me#'I lived shouldering my own heart'#though the line that first stuck with me was#'if i can become love/what color is that now?'#I also love 'that story unknown to all/it seems ive gone and hummed it again'#also really love unhappy refrain and just how.. blunt it is#also worlds end dancehall..#its so dizzying and fitting and gorgeous#theres another one i could comment on but it would be a lot of explaining and wayy too personal lol#also rolling girl...#'hold your breath for now'#'unable to reach the colors on the other side'#i need to listen to more of his discography.. i haven't been listening to much new music though..#while im thinking of these theres some hachi songs too#specifically donut hole..#well#more specifically a specific cover#theres an english cover with yohio that just.. god#'lets get a ribbon and measure the world/lets run circles round the sun before we char and burn/#but we dont need a map or road/we'll chase the blackness of the night thats somehoe filled with hope'#'byebye my dear lover/we wont meet again/and yet im stuck here in this limbo/in this state that i cant emote/#i dont know what to do/and only laughter escapes my throat/youre like a donut with a hole/so full but empty and will never quite be whole'#'no i dont want to die/want to know what it feels like/it wont bring peace or piece together all that you have lost/time has passed/#we wont last/my memory turns to glass/i am the donut hole the unwanted without a soul'#okay actually i could do a whole thing on just that song#which is unrelated to wowaka
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nightly-ruse · 1 year
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I just had a dream so worrying I forced myself awake and I’m just scrolling through my phone to try not and drift back into it
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sometimes i randomly remember things about my childhood! (neko atsume)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i miss the games i used to play as a kid !! on browser or mobile or whatever !!#there's this one. ps2 or ps3 game me and lune used to play a lot and we once looked for it years ago and found it again#but now. ever since then. we can't :(( i still remember jumping... and then that waterfall......#kh is so special to me. only ever played a bit of 1 and then the full of 3 so i am very weird but. yeah!#i never got off the island! and then . that really stuck /pos and then i got into kh3 yeaaaars after#bcs my aunt (bless her. shes the one who gets us into a lot of games ngl) got kh3 but she didnt. really like it if i'm not mistaken#understandable but i still really enjoyed kh3 hehe ^^ even w its imperfections! game was kinda ya fr but <3#and then i really just. realized. that oh! this is something from my childhood!!#anyways yeah most of all i probably miss ofc the memories#but also the games on browser. jmkit was smth i really remember LOL i was a roleplay kid fr lmfaooo#BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. since uhh. that thing people used to do games n stuff on browser shut down#ig ever since then i've not played on browser as often! ig that's one reason why i really like gbf#it's better for me to play in the app on my phone but also browser is just. really nice for numerous reasons ofc#but also it reminds me of that !! anyways i rmbr the bartender game so well#and the one w the haunted house and the ghosts good gods the games i liked to play as a kid#lowkey really make sense LMFAO SOME OF THEM WERE REALLY. untitled goose game vibes fr#yeah i once got scammed on this one browser game. i was so sad LMFAO BLESS I NEVER USED MY ACTUAL EMAIL#<- back then my emails were random ones like. they always were to do w crystals tho#so you can see one reason why raha is vv special to me :] awh man i used to be a mlp kid. good times#mhm yeah ... !! i used to be super into lego too. movies games and ofc the toys and all. hehe#tbh a lot of these stuff i actually do want to get back into. its less... 'growing out of it' for me and more 'growing into other things'#as i age and having to actually manage my time now. and the reality of being an adult somewhat soon is. there#and i don't think peer pressure affects me as much as... some but it's also quite there. i want to fit in... kinda? not really? kinda?#whoops that took a turn. help. ANYWAYS BACK TO IT ARGHH I MISS THOSE WEBSITES !!!!!#wordguy or something awh man no wonder i was a smart and nerdy kid and until now. i was always into those stuff#fun fact kid me i liked to collect paper. mostly so i could write but yeah. fun fact i also was known as the jacket kid in like idk 6th#grade and 5th? bcs i always wore my jacket even w ph weather being the way it is <3#yk change is scary. im a sentimental person! its so scary but at the same time so cool n interesting#sigfjsbdkdbskdn. interesting how all we come across in life (esp as kids!) shape and change us
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