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abstract-crossverse · 2 years

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Hi it's me, a Jeb enjoyer. Can I request Jeb reacting to finding his s/o after the fall of Nexus city? Like it's years later and he's given up hope but they just pop up in one of the buildings killing agents and shiz, maybe he's meeting with Doc and his s/o is there? Thank you :))

Hello Jeb enjoyer, Im Phobos enjoyer- *gets shot*

Im so sorry this took so long hdbsns

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"Together at Last" [Jeb x Reader, fic, angst/fluff]

You and Jebediah were very close even before he began making his plans to take Nexus down, anyone could see it, he was often found around you if not with Hofnarr and drowining himself in his work

It was obvious there was something going on, some scientists that worked under Projects the Director put him in charge of would see him out with you, talking as if you knew each other for years(which you kinda did) and began placing bets on wether or not you were together, even Hofnarr was in on it- which was funny because he knew you both were together for a good while now

He told you a lot of things from work, venting out his frustrations to you if you allowed him, you were the one he most trusted with anything, you heard a lot of shit talk about Phobos and Crackpot specifically, it was honestly amusing seeing Jeb rant about their bullshit while resting his head on your lap and make angry gestures with his hand as you played with his hair

He'd sigh at the end and look at you thankfully, thank you for letting him rant, and apologizing if he got too intense in certain parts, you'd shrug it off and kiss his forehead for reassurance, saying its nothing he needs to apologize over, he never told you, but everytime you said those words he'd fall for you all over again. You were just the light of his life

That being said, he confined the information of his plans with you as well, telling you how things would work out and the plan he had for you end others involved directly with the plan to go out safe and sound

After Phobos fired him, he quickly got home and began to quickly organize everything for when he'd need to be off to put the plan in action, all while muttering curses at the damned Director under his breath. After you got home from your own work, you were initially confused about the gear on top of the table of your shared apartment, until you remembered the plan

You sat with Christoff in the living room as he rapidly typed emails to his friends, he looked at you once he unfocused from the computer, wondering if you were getting home, almost startling him as he spotted you on the couch messing on your phone beside him

".. [Name]... Welcome home, dear... Did- you get home just now or-"

"Nah, been here for a few minutes, I didnt want to interrupt you since that seemed important... Is everything okay?" You asked, turning off your phone and turning yourself to him as you spoke, he sighed

"my apologies for not realizing your were there sooner, my dear.... That- foolish Director fired me today." He hissed lightly, your eyes widened, that wasnt good- "oh god... Thats-... how are you going to go about the plan now then?" Your eyebrows furrowed in worry, he gently took your hands in his

"worry not, all will go as planned, t'is but a minor inconvenience, Hofnarr will give me access to the back of the Tower, Ive already planned the route from the plaza to the room I must go to." He gently stroked your knuckles with his thumbs in attempt to soothe your worries, he didn't tell you everything about it though

You looked down, nodding as you processed through this new route, you both fell silent for a moment before you looked back at him

"are you sure you still need to go through with this?"

"Dear, you know I have no choice. If he goes through with Gestalt, we're all doomed, we must act as soon as possible."

You sighed "I know I know- I just... I just keep worrying for the worse.. what if the plan doesnt work? What if you get caught? What if Phobos wins??- Jeb I dont want to lose you.." you looked at him with worry, that look of fear in your eyes gripped at his heart, he moved his hands around your waist, hugging you close

"all will go as planned, my Love, I wont fail, thats something I promise you, and you know Im a man of word." He gave you a gentle smile, you smiled a bit, letting out a small chuckle "I know that very well... I trust you dear, Im sorry, Im just scared for you."

You gently leaned your forehead with his, he smiled, a faint purr rumbling from his chest "I know... But try not to worry, I wont fail, and I'll come to pick you up on our spot as soon as Im finished with everything." You took a moment before mumbling an 'alright.', he mumbled the same, placing a gentle kiss on your lips as he held you close, attempting to soothe you once more by gently rubbing his hand on your back as you held him just as firmly

Trusth be told, he had the same worries as you, he was worried domething would go wrong, mentally going over anything that could go wrong in his mind from the plan on to ready himself, he completely expected to go down with Phobos in worst case scenario, losing isn't an option and winning may be of little chance.. Though he'd try not to think too much about it, he doesnt want to end up jinxing himself, for now he'll spend as much time as he can with you.

---

By the next day, you helped him get ready to go meet with Hofnarr by the Rift, helping him with hiding his weapons and the bullet proof vest under his clothes, you both went over your plan again

"alright, again, while I go meet with Hofnarr, you-"

"I head to wait with the Sheriff guy by the gate to the indrustrial sector until you come back." You recalled as you adjusted the colar on his coat and adjusted his tie "I have my bag all set already, I'll head out as soon as youre out of view so its not too suspicious."

Christoff nodded in approvement, a hum coming from his throat "alright, I'll be off then... [Name], my Love, please be careful." He placed his hands on your waist, looking at you with almost pleading eyes, you placed your hands over his, giving him a light peck "of course I will, dearest, I promise, you be careful too, I dont want to have to go break you out" you half joked, laughing softly as he chuckled lightly.. you always loved his laugh

"I will... I'll see you soon, Love." You shared a kiss again, a bit longer then the one yesterday, as soon as you parted, he gave you a smaller, shorter kiss, for good measure, y'know?

"see you soon, Dear... I love you." He hesitantly let go of you, you gave him a small smile as he opened the door behind him

"I love you too, more than my whole existence." And out the door he went, you simply stood there as the door closed, your smile fell, eyebrows furrowing, why did you get a bad feeling in your gut all of the sudden...?

---

Well, if youre here this far you must know how it played out, he defeated Phobos and got out alive.. that- wasn't his expectation but all for the best, he's glad he survived to see you again. he quickly darted through the city to the Industrial Sector's gate, he read the MERC Laborers ready to close the gates for you..

But you were nowhere in sight.

He asked them about you, but they just shook their head, looking confused, his stomach dropped, feeling dread grow on his chest, he looked around a bit, clearly hesitant before he gave them the orders to close the gates, we were too far in to stop now, they needed to be safe and the Zeds are beginning to rapidly grow in numbers. He'd find you, its fine! he'll find you, he's sure of it

After speaking with Hofnarr, he asked him about you too, the shorter scientist nervously afirmed he didn't see you that day at all, making more dread overcome Christoff's very being. He thanked his friend anyway, asking him to get you to him if he happens to find you around, Hofnarr nodded and flew off with his jetpack as Jeb began to roam the falling apart city frantically.. you need to be okay, you must be alive, you have to...

---

Years of search and nothing. not a single trace of you since the Fall... But Jeb never stopped searching, he searched everywhere he could multiple times, flipping the city upside down in search of you, searching out of the city for you, MERC, Somewhere, nowhere was free of his search, but nothing, not a single trace aside your bag with your old things he found on the route he set for you that day..

He refused to believe you could be dead, for all he knows a Zed or- or a robber couldve gotten a grip on your bag and you let it go to get to safety! you just... didn't make it to MERC...

Countless nights he came back toyour old shared apartment he still used as a hideout after the Nexus Core agents were done searching for him in his old home, he'd just sit down on the couch and look at a broken picture frame with a picture of you two in it for hours, he would barely even realize he'd been sitting there doing bat shit with a blank stare

And no matter how his eyes got fucked, or how the dissonance from the Halo was slowly deteriorating his mind, he'd still search for you... he may have lost his friend, he may have lost his job, he may have lost his life or part of himself, but you is someone he cant bare acknowledge he lost. and countless nights.. he actually shed tears, he wept, praying so hard you'd come back, praying you were okay, praying he wouldn't find you as a mindless Zed roaming the City's streets. He felt like he failed you... But he had to keep his head up, you must be okay, you must be safe.. if you weren't, he would've found your body by now, wouldn't he?

At least thats what he told himself to keep himself from giving up on your search, he needed to keep going, he knows you're alive.. he has a feeling you are at least...

He was on his way to purge another of Auditor's AAHW bases, until he caught movement with the corner of his eye, he snapped his head to where he saw it, immediately jumping on guard, seeing a hooded figure take down a zed and shoot a grunt running in the distance. He'd dismiss it was another survivor just trying to survive in this wasteland until you made eye contact..

He could recognize that face anywhere..

His eyes widen, so did yours, but neither dared to move, it wasnt until he muttered your name that you snapped out of your stunned haze and run at him, yelling his name as you both collided in a hug

You hugged him tightly as he was still stunned to see you, hovering his hands over your form until he realized this wasnt a dream and immediately hug onto you tightly as well

Tears slipping out of your eyes as you pulled away a bit, smiling as you cupped his face in your hands

"Jeb! Oh god its you!"

"[Name]... You're here.. you really are..." He leaned into your hands, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as emotion overwhelmed him

"yes! Yes Im here! I was so worried, I thought I'd never see you again!" You felt his rough hand be placed on your cheek, you leaned into it as he gently wiped your tears

He smiled, tears finally falling off his eyes, he pulled you into a kiss, longing and loving, he missed you so much its unreal, after parting you hugged again after wiping his years with your thumbs, holding each other until Jeb was alerted by someone clearing their throat

He pulled you behind him, taking his sword out and looking at where the sound came, only to be met with Hank just, standing there, of course they were covered in blood like always, which only made them seem like more of a threat

"... Wimbleton. What are you doing here?"

"... Mission."

Jeb hummed, you gently tugged on his arm

"it's- it's okay, I work with them."

".. what-" he looked down at you with a raised eyebrow

You explained what happened to you on your way to MERC, how 2BDamned helped you after getting cornered by thugs and asked you to join SQ as a way to return the favor, he was still confused why you would accept it, you added the zeds began swarming by then and you both eneded up too far away from MERC's gate

Then he understood, nodding as he lowered his sword, after a ment of silence he asked if youd still work for him, you said you kinda liked there so yes, he nodded

You asked Hank if they could tell Doc youd be back later and that they could go without you, they shrugged, turned around and left

You leaned on Jeb, taking a hold of his hand and smiling up at him, you two hugged again, I think that purge can wait a day, he swept you off your feet, holding you bridal style, asking if youd like to go stay with him at his hideout, obviously you said accepted

---

Over at his old apartment, you two just cuddled, he held you strongly as if you'd vanish, though you can't complain, you were doing the same while gently playing with his hair

He sighed as you burrowed your face into his neck, gently petting your arm with one of his hands, muttering things about how things have been over the years, things youve seen, occasionally laughing at something silly or funny either of you encountered

You learned of what happened to Hofnarr and how Crackpot went missing, it saddened you, at mostly over Hofnarr- he was a great friend to Christoff, you felt like he blamed himself for it, and you were right

Eventually your conversation died down as exhaustion washed over you, both your eyes feeling heavy

"... I missed you.. so, so much, love." He muttered, nuzzling into your hair

"I missed you just as much... Im sorry I worried you for so long, 2B- gives a lot of work to do so I was always away doing something.." you answered, arms going limp as you snuggled close and closed you eyes

"I know.. he does his best for his cause, he's a good man." You hummed, falling silent before muttering a last thing sleepily

"I love you, Jeb..."

"I love you too, more than my whole existence... Sweet dreams, dear..."

You muttered a barely coherent goodnight before you drifted off, he smiled, huffing a small laugh as he held you, drifting off to sleep easier than ever before

You were home, you were safe, and you were there with him, nothing more gave him more relief than knowing that

===========================

#madcom #madness combat #madness combat x reader #jebus madness combat #mc jebus #jebediah christoff #madness combat jebus #jebus #jebus x reader #madcom jebus #jebediah christoff x reader #dr jebediah christoff #fic #maskwrites #distressedwalnut

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kronecker-delta · 3 years

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Farscape Nier crossover and ideas

Snippet (from 2017) Farscape/Nier: Automata --- Her room was a mess. Scattered parts of her uniform and other clothes piled along along the sides, kicked there when she came and went. Her personal books disarrayed, off the shelf and toppled over by her bed. She'd been putting off cleaning again and with the recent arrivals none of the operators could be spared to make up for her bad habits. None of that mattered at the moment. White sat in her chair, staring out into the void. A souvenir of her old days in the ground based resistance held in her hands. The framed picture of pair of androids seated on the still smoldering bulk of the ruined machine behemoth a memory of a simpler, happier time. A knock on her door brought her attention away from melancholy remembrance. Before she could compose herself and more sternly tell whoever had interrupted her what she had meant by 'Only bother me if there's an emergency' another knock issued forth. Followed by a voice. "Hey White? You in there?" She froze. She had so desperately hoped that it wouldn't be him. *** "I've never been here before," White said apologetically as their transport ship came down beside the small lunar outpost. A tiny thing, compared to the bunker. Even given the greater volume underground for secured data storage and backup generators. "No problem. First time I've been on the moon," he said, giving her a reassuring smile that didn't quite manage to look entirely honest. His frown returning as they stepped out of the transport, the boots of his pressured suit crunching into the light dusting of lunar sand that had covered part of the landing pad. "Feels like I should say something... 'Great leap for mankind and all that' you know. Hey, is the Apollo site still around?" "It is. If you want we could visit there Commander Crichton." "Just John... or Crichton. Being called Commander all the time feels weird," John Crichton said. "I know I'm the last human but..." "I-I understand," White answered. Keeping her own emotions deeply locked down as they passed into the fortified complex of the moon server. Past the scant few technicians and guards and into a dark room, nearly empty save for a single console located in the center. A black void engulfed the walls, impenetrable shadows, as the terminals and screens had long laid dormant. "So now what?" His voice echoed in the room, which must have been far larger than they had at first thought. Low clicks and whirs came from the bulk of the machine, the long slumbering physical access port awakening. Lights flashed along the walls and beyond them, racks upon racks of computer systems networked together awakening. A great screen before them coming on and displaying a stylized picture of a tree, long dark roots stretching out from its base. OVERSIGHT AND RECORDING SYSTEM VER. 2.01 SLEEPING BEAUTY ONLINE. CONFIRM USER PERMISSIONS NOW. "Commander White, YoRHa access S-Class security," White said. Looking to her side and adding, "As well as a guest." CONFIRM GUEST'S IDENTITY. "John Crichton, Commander in the IASA," John said. "Born... 1969. June 6th. If that helps any." The computer sat in silence for a long moment, not responding, the screen frozen as the loading bar seemed stuck in time. They shared a look of confusion, both android and human wondering if the ancient archive might have crashed and who was going to have to go out and ask the few technicians to help reboot it. Then the room came alight, a dozen more monitors online, the totality of it awake for the first time in forever. HUMAN IDENTITY CONFIRMED BASED ON HISTORICAL RECORDS. YoRHA S-CLASS SECURITY CLEARANCE SUBSTITUTED FOR UNRESTRICTED SYSTEM ACCESS. S-CLASS, SS-CLASS, AND HAMELIN ORGANIZATION FILES NOW UNLOCKED. GREETINGS COMMANDER JOHN CRICHTON. HOW MAY THIS SYSTEM AID YOU TODAY? "What... what's 'SS-Class?' There shouldn't be a level of security above mine." NEGATIVE. THERE ARE TWO. SS-CLASS, CONTAINING SENSITIVE FILES DEEMED TOO DANGEROUS TO BE KNOWN OUTSIDE OF THE ADMINISTRATIVE COUNCIL. AS WELL AS FILES REGARDING THE HAMELIN ORGANIZATION, WHICH WERE TO BE SEALED UNTIL SUCH A TIME AS A HUMAN USER ACCESSED THIS SYSTEM. "We do this so that the future generations will have the opportunity to judge us for our sins." "Who the hell was that?" John asked, shocked by the computer suddenly vocalizing. Producing the sound of some long dead man. Old and ill, his voice straining to make the words clear into the recording. DR. EUGENE ADLER, HAMELIN RESEARCHER IN DEMONIC ELEMENT MANIPULATION EXPERIMENTS. BY HIS RECOMMENDATION AND THE UN SPECIAL SECURITY COUNCIL'S AUTHORITY IT WAS FELT THAT KNOWLEDGE OF THE HAMELIN ORGANIZATION'S INVESTIGATIONS INTO THE DEMONIC ELEMENT AND THE 6-12 INCIDENT COULD NOT BE PUBLICLY REVEALED UNTIL THE CRISIS HAD PASSED. John looked to White, hoping she might be able to explain something, anything of what the computer had just told them. But she looked just as confused as he did. "Ah... Computer?" YES JOHN CRICHTON? "Define 'demonic element' please." DEMONIC ELEMENT: QUANTUM OBSERVATION REACTING PARTICLES BROUGHT OVER BY THE ENTITIES INVOLVED IN THE 6-12 INCIDENT. TWO VARIETIES WERE DETERMINED UPON FURTHER RESEARCH. TYPE I, WHICH CAME FROM THE ENTITY CLASSIFIED 'QUEEN OF THE GROTESQUE' AMONG NUMEROUS OTHER NAMES ACQUIRED FROM OBSERVATION DATA OF LEGION FORCES AND PRE-SUBLIMATION MEMETIC CORRUPTION OF WHITE CHLORINATION SYNDROME PATIENTS. TYPE I MATERIAL HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THIS UNIVERSE FOR THE LAST EIGHT THOUSAND YEARS FOLLOWING THE COMPLETE PURGING OF IT FROM THE EARTH'S ENVIRONMENT. TYPE II CAME FROM THE OTHER ENTITY, CLASSIFIED AS 'A DRAGON' NO OTHER NAME OR IDENTITY DETERMINED. WHILE HIGHLY REACTIVE AND DANGEROUS IN LARGE DOSES IT WAS FOUND TO BE STABLE IN SMALL AMOUNTS AND TO LACK THE MALEVOLENT EFFECT ON INTELLIGENT LIFE THAT TYPE I MATERIAL EXHIBITED. EVENTUAL CONTROLLED EXPOSURE AND SYNTHESIS EXPERIMENTS LED TO THE CREATION OF FOCUSED MAGIC ENERGY EFFECTS AND SUBSEQUENT DEVELOPMENTS IN FIELDS OF NEUROLOGY AND META-COGNITION AS WELL AS NUMEROUS OTHERS. PROJECT GESTALT AND ANDROID CONSCIOUSNESS ARE BOTH LONG TERM SUCCESSES OF THIS RESEARCH. HIGH ENERGY MAGIC WEAPONS WERE ALSO ATTEMPTED BUT LATER SHELVED FOR BEING UNRELIABLE. AS OF THIS DATE THE AMOUNT OF TYPE II MATERIAL PRESENT IN THIS UNIVERSE IS ESTIMATED TO BE 63 METRIC TONS, OVER A HUNDRED FOLD INCREASE IN MASS FROM THAT OF THE ORIGINAL ENTITY BROUGHT ABOUT BY CONTINUAL SYNTHESIS AND ITS NECESSITY IN THE CREATION OF NEW ANDROIDS AND ALL CURRENT GENERATION MAGICAL DEVICES. THE ANDROID WHITE HAS 6 GRAMS OF IT AS PART OF THEIR INTERNAL SYSTEMS, MOSTLY RELEGATED TO META-COGNITIVE PROCESSES. "Wait... wait!" John yelled out, grabbing onto the unused console as he stared at the enormous amount of text that had just been displayed. More and more appearing on other monitors, going into greater detail about all sorts of absurd things. "What do you mean by magic? And dragons? What the hell happened to Earth?" THE 6-12 INCIDENT. PLAYING ARCHIVED DATA NOW... *** Crichton sat on the edge of her bed. Looking down at his hands, fingers intertwined. He hadn't spoken since White had stepped aside and ushered him in. Neither had she. She had wanted to be alone, and had hoped that Crichton would choose to spend some time with his alien friends. Or his semi-human lover... "You know, it's kind of funny," he said at last, a low chuckle that surprised White. He truly did sound amused by the dark comedy of his situation. "What?" "Well, when I first realized you were lying about something... after I got over the whole 'android' deal anyway," Crichton said, looking up from his hands to look into White's eyes. "I was so certain that the deep dark secret you were keeping from me was that you all went Terminator on the humans and than got ashamed about it." White found herself smiling despite it all. "I guess I can imagine why you would think that. Even if we don't all look like Central European bodybuilders from the Old World." His expression collapsed, going from amusement to a shock so profound it looked like a stiff breeze would have knocked him over. White found herself confused and then very worried. Had she said something wrong? Then he started to laugh, slow at first, but building into something that bordered on mania. Rolling onto his back and shaking in the hysterics. "Haha... oh god... you have no idea, no goddamn idea how long I've wanted someone to get one of my dumb references," Crichton sat up looking far happier than he had a moment ago, the levity of their absurd connection dispelling the melancholy cloud that had hung over them since their return from the lunar server. "Like I love those idiots on Moya, but being around aliens on the other side of the galaxy for a few years really makes you long for some normal human conversation." "I... I think I can understand. Somewhat. It must have been very lonely out there." "Lonely, terrifying, insane... beautiful too. Space is crazy like that. Full of contrasts so sharp it's stunning. I-I wanted to bring that back you know? Not just to get home, but to show what I had found out there," he said, pointing to the stars outside White's window. "I guess it's too late for that now." "I'm sorry," White said. Noting the strange look that Crichton was giving her now she hesitated before continuing. "I'm sorry we failed." "Failed? Failed at what? Stopping a magic apocalypse that had already started before the first androids came online? Which reminds me, we're going to need to do something about them later. Those twin models that someone had the bright idea to shoulder with some fucked up version of android collective punishment." Crichton leaned forward, massaging his forehead as he did so. "That's probably only the tip of the bullshit you're dealing with and here I come with a whole new mess of problems. Maybe it would have been better if I had never found Earth." "No! Crichton you-we can fix things. I know we can. Not just your presence here or for getting access to sealed archives in the server. The technology you brought with you. It very well might represent a turning point in the war with the machines." "And what about the Sebaceans... the Peacekeepers? The Scarren Empire? Or hell, even the Nebari Establishment? Better gravity control systems and two hundred year old ship scale energy shields won't stop a fleet if it comes knocking at our door." "We'll do what we always have. Try and protect Earth and mankind's legacy from any aggressor. Whether distant cousins that no longer remember their home-world like the Sebaceans... or these Scarrens you've mentioned so much. We won't- we cannot retreat from this fight. Not now." White clenched her fist tightly, the glove creaking as she set a firm expression on her face. "I promise you Crichton, even if the past is lost, we will make a future worth fighting for." Ideas: I've been thinking over the ideas of a Farscape/Nier crossover some more, coming up with elements, themes, and specific scenes that would be fun to explore and write. These are some of the ideas I've had in no particular order. 1. Androids in relation to the Last Human (Crichton). Crichton is a self-admitted sci-fi geek, not surprising for a second generation astronaut that grew up wanting to explore the stars. He straight up makes comparisons to how he attempts to handle alien encounters to be inspired from watching Star Trek. Given that I think his relation to the androids would develop in a certain direction. Once the initial shock of a) the amount of time passed and b) that these people he thought were human aren't passes, he wouldn't feel comfortable having an intelligent race acting subordinate to him. I can see multiple incidents where some variety of complex philosophical quandary or just plain relationship question from 6O results in him telling them that humans really didn't have a better answer. Long term this would likely take the form of a very serious conversation where he points out that Earth, and what of its culture and history still lives, isn't in just human, whether the dead ones or genetically altered human descended Sebaceans. Or even in any hypothetical offspring that he might have. Basically, 'Mankind' includes them, as they're what's keeping the memory of it all alive. Aside from some bonding scenes between various androids and Crichton as they go over bits of alien tech, one idea I have in particular is that he takes a tour of moon landing sites, including the one his father visited. Effectively the only place he will ever see any lasting evidence of that man in particular. And the reaction of his android guide (White perhaps?) as well as the Apollo 11 plaque cements his decision to change the way the androids view their relation with humans, at least in so much as he can. 2. 2B and 9S (and others perhaps). I think there's a lot of fun to be had in placing the androids into weird situations with the aliens, and even more so if for some reason they have to head off away from Earth for a period of time. Since I can easily see the plan being for them to lie constantly. Lie about being human, lie about the 'Glorious Terran Federation' which is totally a military power that we didn't just make up, lie about what they're capable of, lies upon lies as they try and deceive the Scarrens and the Peacekeepers and keep Earth safe from either side those aggressive powers. In general I think 'Androids pretend to be human to deceive aliens' is a good plot for lots of stories, and could easily be turned into a rather long plot. Since the androids wouldn't want to let Crichton head off to parley with these alien aggressors on his own. And he could really use all the help he can get for whatever crazy ass plot he comes up with next. 3. Aliens would want Android tech. Probably just Scorpius, but others too if they find out more about Earth. I hadn't realized it at the time, but there was a period of the show where the hybrid Scarren-Sebacean was working with Crichton, and that would be the perfect opportunity for him to learn something about the androids and Earth history. And being him, he would look at all this extra-dimensional BS and android super soldiers and see potential weapons. He'd probably be disappointed that the Queen's Maso wasn't around anymore and that Hamelin Organization stopped human testing after Emil, since it would mean he'd be working from scratch if he could just get back into the good graces of the Peacekeepers and do so with enough of the demonic element to set up another research base. Hell, he'd probably try to directly convince Crichton get the androids to agree to serve the Peacekeepers, since that would technically put them back into contact with 'humans' if genetically engineered ones. Arguing that he could get the entire remaining population of Earth a ticket off world (to a nice Peacekeeper controlled colony where the can serve their new military overlords) if destroying the machine lifefroms proved to difficult even with a few starships to blast them from orbit. 4. The Terminals. The central intelligence of the machine lifeforms would likely reconsider its direction of evolution far earlier with a living human to observe, especially one that tries so hard to avoid aggressive resolutions. Even if that doesn't work, Crichton's crew and allies proves that he has managed to connect and form lasting bonds with entirely alien beings over and over. A direct repudiation of what the machine network had thus far found to be the fastest way to accelerate its own growth. Whether this would lead to a quicker conclusion that it needs to escape Earth and find its own destiny, likely expedited by FTL tech it took from the androids once Crichton revealed it to them, or an attempt at some kind of allegiance against the various hostile powers of the greater galaxy is unknown. While I can easily see Pascal and various pacifistic or non-hostile machine lifeforms being taken into account as potential allies the actions of the terminals past and potentially present would form a barrier to attempted cooperation. 5. Allying with the Worm Hole Ancients. The aliens that gave John Crichton knowledge about worm holes in the first place did so because they were running from an unstated catastrophe that had destroyed their home world. They originally decided against direct contact with Earth because it was likely to be divided and hostile. 21st century Earth that doesn't exist outside of Crichton's memories. It would be very interesting to see how they might react to finding out the new status quo. I've got a couple ideas that might be fun with them. One being that their dimension/time traveling tech lead to them accidentally creating their own personal Watcher related incident and the subsequent self-inflicted annihilation of their home world to stop it from spreading to the greater portion of the galaxy. Creating a situation where despite their far greater technological adeptness they find a reason to deeply respect humans/androids for facing down and defeating what they truthfully could not, reclaiming their world instead of burning it and running. (Though I'm iffy on that alteration/crossover expansion as it sort of makes them more like the Stargate's Asgard.)

#farscape #nier automata #fanfic idea

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errantabbot · 3 years

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Gold Dust and Orthodoxy: A Teisho for Today

Gold Dust Is Valuable (The Rinzai Roku, Case #53)

“Governor Wang visited Zen Master Rinzai one day. When they happened to pass the monk’s hall, the Governor asked Master Rinzai; “Do the monks in this monastery all study the Sutras?” “No, they do not,” answered Rinzai. The Governor further queried; “Then, do they practice meditation?” The Master replied again; “No, they do not.” The Governor was confused so he asked; “If they neither study the Sutras nor practice meditation, what then do they do?” Master Rinzai said; “All of my students are training to become Buddhas.” The Governor said; “Though gold dust is precious, in the eyes it clouds the vision.” Master Rinzai remarked; “And I almost took you for a common fellow!”

I have been reflecting lately on the reality that I have a really interesting mixture of students. On one hand I have a number of folks who live relatively lay, householder style lives, a place where I find myself increasingly in recent years. And on the other hand, I have a number of folks who live fairly stringent monastic style lives, replete with the robes, haircuts, daily liturgical schedules, and high ceremonial. Because of our varied locales around the country, usually these folks mostly engage one another on social media, and in retreat once a year so. Given the nature of 2020, however, and our ongoing social distancing precautions, with the continued closure of our temples, we initiated, as Roshi Al has, a number of Zoom programs where all have been invited to practice together, usually in the examination of our traditional collections of “Zen Case Studies” (or koans), and this has been an interesting exercise.

I’ve noted that my householder students are often highly educated, with secular jobs that reflect such efforts, and too, they’re often quite concerned with an academic, rational study and practice of Buddhism. On the other hand, I’ve observed that my monastic students tend to be a bit more earthy, deeply connected with matters of the heart, and are far more interested in liturgical and embodied meditative practices. This seeming division is well known to Buddhist history, and at times it has been posited as a division between sutra study and zen study, most often as an irreconcilable divide. That said, I’m not so quick to pass off Zen as mere meditation focused practiced. Indeed, I would contend that when Bodhidharma uttered his sacred verse (you know, “a special transmission outside of the scriptures, not dependent on words and letters, directly pointing at the mind and becoming Buddha”) that he did so not with the intention of forgoing sutra study, or scholarly, rational concerns, and certainly not to facilitate a mere trade off with such interests for the sentimentality, and typically reductionist romanticization that can be associated with the meditative and liturgical practices that often find themselves broadly situated under the banner of Zen.

As most of you know, Zen is something notoriously difficult to pin down and define as something of a “Gestalt,” or phenomenon possessed seemingly of more than its constituent parts. While a simple definition might be, somewhat accurately even, “concentrated attention,” or colloquially “meditation,” that doesn’t quite do this discipline justice. No doubt, shared Buddhist history across traditions is replete with individuals who have wholeheartedly cast themselves into the furnace of meditative fervor, and who have, after considerable number of years, decades even, done little but ruminate on their rather stagnant patterns of suffering and delusion.

On the other hand, Zen orthodoxy is filled with stories and hagiographies of personalities, such as the sixth patriarch Hui Neng who have come to rather complete, and integrated awakening experiences after relatively little practice or cultivation. In fact, Hui Neng is a particularly fascinating, idealized case, as this universal Zen ancestor’s cultivation consisted of little more than cutting wood and selling his wares in a marketplace while accidentally hearing a recitation of a sutra that seemed to attune his mind to the frequency of awakening. (How’s that for a gestalt?)

However, even the most devout proponents of the doctrine of “sudden” (rather than “gradual”) awakening would rarely, if ever, recognize such a phenomenon as actually happening in the real, lived lives of contemporary practitioners whose lives are strewn with rational factuality rather than filtered ideality.

In this, if Zen is simply meditation, how can practitioners devote themselves to the discipline of silent sitting for decades upon decades and reap the harvest of neither sudden nor gradual cultivation? And further, how can luminary personalities such as Hui Neng seemingly devote no time to meditation, and stumble into the spiritual parenthood of not just myriad practitioners, but indeed, myriad schools and lineages?

In this, then, if Zen is not reducible to meditation, and if formal sitting is not required for awakening in Zen orthodoxy, why do we continue to hold the practice thereof so closely to our hearts? Indeed, Hui Neng’s story could be understood to be dismissive not only of run-of-the-mill meditation, but too of liturgy, precepts, and sutra study. Why bother with any of that, as we do?

Case fifty-three of the Rinzai Roku is a fantastic dialogue that exemplifies this dilemma. Governor Wang, holding to the classical dichotomy that posits an unquestionable divide between the sutric and meditative schools queries Master Rinzai on the training of his students, who seem to be possessed of neither this-nor-that, but rather of reality itself in the practice of Buddhahood itself. Responding then, to Master Rinzai’s cuttingly truthful characterization of the school of thought that makes up more than half of our Open Mind Zen School’s inherited dharma lineage, Governor Wang observes “gold dust is precious, but, in the eyes it clouds the vision.”

Friends, there is no doubt to me that sutric, rational, and scholastic rooted inquiry is a valuable, worth its weight in gold spiritual discipline. Too, there is no doubt that the meditative practice of sitting down, shutting up, and paying attention is a precious, worth its weight in gold spiritual discipline. That said, if we get too close, if we hold too tightly, if we allow our eyes to become organs of projection rather than perception in committing to any of this, it’s all poisonous, damaging, and blinding. Such is the potential nature of literally all orthodoxy (and likely heterodoxy, but we’ll leave that for another day).

Orthodoxy is generally defined as “conforming to what is generally or traditionally accepted as right or true; established and approved.” While the connotation of such a definition generally implies something ancient, venerable, and unchanging, it’s that unchanging notion that makes the usual implications of orthodoxy utterly incompatible with Buddhist teaching, which universally posits that literally all things are changing, transitory, in process, and ultimately insubstantial, and unreal in their immaterial nature.

Buddhist orthodoxy, therefore, must be alive and open to subtle refinement over time as generations come and go. As nothing is truly stationary, stagnant, or even comprehensive in any would-be stable position, the truest assertions are those which remain conversant with reality, and evolve not only with, but indeed for it.

At its best, rendering something as orthodox is to give it a particular status which reminds us that it (and the processes pertaining to how it came to be) is, or are, worthy of due consideration and particular attention over time. In this, orthodoxy must never become an untouchable status that renders a thing free from criticism or exempt from change. Rather, it should provide something of a shield from the flippant disregard and inconsiderate abandonment that Zen students, and certainly our rather shared post-religious, post-modern ever secularizing culture can itself frequently render.

It’s interesting to note that Buddhism was first founded by Siddhartha Gautama with his observation that existence itself is seemingly wrapped up entirely with pain and disappointment, or Dukkha. The Buddha asserted that this pain and disappointment is birthed from nowhere other than our own consciousness, and particularly, from our tendencies to incorrectly regard nature as anything other than what it is. Nature, then, the Buddha posited, is marked with impermanence (anicca), insubstantiality (anatta), and the ever-looming potential for dissatisfaction (dukkha), because human psyches seem so primed to be particularly averse to impermanence and insubstantiality.

The Buddha’s answer to this quandary, in alignment with the orthodox, sramanic suppositions of his time was to step away from it all. To increasingly renounce material nature so as to become unbounded from it, and to eventually leave it behind. This, of course, is the origin of the Zen school – contemplating the nature of existence, it’s innate problems, and stepping off the wheel in responding to the observations assumed to arise from that contemplation.

As Buddhism gained popularity and requisite adherence, it gained too critically discerning minds, each sincerely engaged with the burgeoning orthodoxy of Buddhism, but also with that of reality itself. Slowly, subtle divergences, caveats, and new directions appeared, and a multitude of schools of Buddhism became (and are becoming) established, each with their own sets of orthodox presuppositions.

As these oft metaphysical suppositions have been added, subtracted, and supplanted within these traditions, practices and eschatological suppositions have evolved accordingly. This is proactively happening too as Buddhism continues to mingle with modernity’s secular materialism, and post-modernity’s emerging trans-secular relativism.

When Siddhartha Gautama was alive and teaching, the religious milieu of the day widely supported the notion of postmortem reincarnation. Accordingly, the Buddha’s response to the perception of the impermanence, insubstantiality, and tendency toward dissatisfaction that seemingly define material reality was to separate oneself so far from it that one could become disentangled with it entirely, forgoing then reanimation on a physical plane after death, and thereby dissolving into the void in a “final enlightenment”.

In pondering the context and milieu of contemporary America, however, where notions of postmortem existence are increasingly anathema to the masses, and where dissolving into the void is to be assumed rather than to be striven for, orthodoxy has to evolve lest it abandon conversation and therefore relevance. While notions of the impermanent and insubstantial nature of reality have become nothing but more acceptable as legitimate assumptions in our day and age, the inextricability of suffering and dissatisfaction from those assumptions has become less so.

In Buddhist orthodoxy enlightenment has long been cast as multifold, as encompassing initial and final iterations. While so-called “final enlightenment” has been synonymous with dissolution into the void, initial enlightenment (or “entering the stream” as it’s sometimes called) has been understood as a related primer state, defined by its secession from suffering and dissatisfaction, while not having yet abandoned the substrate of impermanent and insubstantial material reality.

Various traditions have continuously produced and upheld various personalities said to have achieved initial awakening, and who have thereby become destined for the proposed final awakening of mahaparinirvana or voidous dissolution. Our own traditions of dharma transmission and inka shomei are certainly related to this practice.

That said, if, as modernity might postulate, one need not strive toward the inevitability that is the void, one’s relationship to the material reality that precedes that inevitability (the void and it’s appendant orthodoxy) must change. Without such change, how might we credibly define enlightenment, let alone multistage awakening, as being worth any striving, should a universal grace be afforded to all in the indiscriminate voidant dissolution of all, without regard for virtue or vice, for cultivation or ignorance?

Assuming that the enlightened persons identified within various traditions and histories as having been possessed of an experience of awakening to a reality beyond that defined by the suffering appendant to the impermanent and insubstantial reality of here-and-now are to be valued, enlightenment must be qualified as being entirely wrapped up within material existence, rather than standing in opposition to it.

As such, it is no longer acceptable to abandon life in the present, perceptible world for a potentially void hereafter, which is increasingly taken as a given rather than an uncertain goal, to be entered into through burying oneself alive in the renunciation of the world through planting one’s head in the sutras, or atop a mountain of zafus and zabutons.

Saliently, Master Rinzai said; “All of my students are training to become Buddhas.” Not sutra masters, not meditation adepts, not even disciples of Shakyamuni Buddha and his pre-modern assumptions, rather, Buddhas in and of their own accord. Full stop. This Buddhahood is attained not merely through studying the sutras, and not merely through practicing meditation. What then is this practice?

It’s fascinating to me, that Governor Wang, at once wrapped up in classical duality, suddenly finds clarity in his dialogue with Master Rinzai, seeing the “gold” in these aforementioned practices, and realizing their proper place, but that is to say not in unquestioned orthodoxy, as dust blindingly blown into the eyes.

“I almost took you for a common fellow,” Master Rinzai concludes, in an alive dialogue that has naturally come to be complied as but one case among many in a sutra-like compendium.

Where and how do we train to become Buddhas, rather than Buddhists?

It’s nearing 10:00am, central time anyway. How’s about we have a bit of conversation, of alive dialogue? The central discipline of Zen, after all, has never been sutra study or meditation, but rather dialogue with and in this very moment, not the moments of 2,500 years ago, 1000 years ago, or even 10 seconds ago. Right here, right now. What – is – this? And I don’t mean that hypothetically.

~Sunyananda

#zen #buddhism #buddha #buddhist #dharma #enlightenment #sangha #awakening #nirvana #peace #Rinzai #teisho #dharma talk #koan #kongan

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ffwriteradvisor · 4 years

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Rewriting Old Stories

Rewrites are harder than people give them credit for. You can’t just go back and correct the grammatical errors and misspellings and call it a ‘rewrite’ - at best, it’s a second-draft.

Speaking as someone who’s tried to rewrite my most popular fic on three to four separate occasions to varying degrees of failure (I’m working on a fifth now with higher hopes), a rewrite is a lot more involved than that.

The thing to remember when you start a rewrite is that you’re simultaneously working with a story you’re more than likely both embarrassed about and nostalgic for on some level. Yes, it might be showing its age or your inexperience at the time of writing it, but you can also remember how fun it was to write and share it back in the day. Part of you knows you can do better now - if not on a creative level, a technical one at least - but another part wants to leave it as is, either because you want to move onto new things or because you don’t know if you can ‘fix’ it and don’t want to risk messing around on your own ‘sacred ground’.

So that’s the first thing that you need to ask yourself before setting out on a Rewrite - do you actually want to rewrite this story?

If the answer to that question is ‘yes’, then keep reading.

There are a couple different ways to approach the Rewrite.

1) ‘Oh god, burn it and pull something salvageable out of the wreckage’ is probably the wrong way to do it. That’s not to say you can’t pull good ideas from your earlier fics and use them somewhere else, but you should go into it with an open mind rather than treating your old story as an enemy to be defeated and looted of their valuables.

2) A better way to approach it is as a tune-up. This can run from ignoring the bulk of the content and focusing on tightening up the gears (though this is pretty much a second-draft rather than a proper rewrite unless there’s a lot of tightening up to do) to dismantling the whole thing so you can eliminate the plot holes, improve the character arcs and interactions, and get rid of anything that just didn’t work the first time around.

Or if you’re feeling particularly ambitious...

3) You can approach it as an opportunity to make your story a ‘wider universe’. This is a combination of points 1 and 2 - not only are you dismantling the original, you’re throwing in a lot of loose parts from other stories you’ve abandoned along the way, meaning that the end product is going to be even bigger and more complicated than anything would be on its lonesome.

I’ve been working with option 3 recently, trying to construct a gestalt story out of my large collection of One Piece OCs and the half-dozen started and abandoned fic ideas I’ve had for that fandom over the years. I can speak from my personal experience that this is very difficult. You’re snipping and twisting plot threads together and trying to find natural feeling connection points between what started as completely unrelated projects.

Once you settle on how extensive you intend for this project to be, then you can move onto the next set of questions.

First - what do you want from this story?

Do you want to fix the problems you didn’t see occurring as the result of your OCs butterflying away the canon plot the first time around? Do you want to make an AU of your original story that goes in a different story direction at Chapter 10 compared to where you went the first time around? Do you want to aim for a different vibe entirely than what ended up on the page the first time around?

You can answer yes to any or all of those questions. You can even ask completely different ones. All that matters is that you figure out what you’re aiming for here.

Second - are you ready to re-read it?

Because you’re going to have to. Maybe even multiple times, so get ready to smother your initial cringe reaction to the writing of 2013!you. It might be ‘sacred ground’ on some level, but you are also crawling into the Wayback Machine just for the explicit purpose of looking at a period in your life you moved past for a reason.

There's going to be weird figures of speech, bad grammar that even your initial proof-reading attempts might have missed, questionable takes, and a lot of things that got knocked out of your system as you gained more experience as both a writer, fandom participant, and all around person. Skip over the superficial stuff for now - you will have to go back later and see if there's any more specific stuff that you can and should work with - and just stick with the meat and bones of what happened in the story.

Third - Take notes. For the love of god, take notes.

Make sure those notes are extensive - they should cover every change you made to the canon, every major (and most of the minor) plot points involved in your story, every gimmick that showed up (ghosts, dramatic reveals, surprise developments), and then some. Anything that sticks out to you as something even mildly important, you should make note of.

This will save you the trouble of constantly re-reading the original after your first few goes through.

Then, take those notes and boil them down. Was this thing that was brought up a thread that wove into the greater tapestry of the story or was 2013!you throwing shit at the wall just to see if it would stick, only to forget all about it by the time the next chapter rolled around? Does that other choice work with what you know of the universe now and, if not, do you want to change the thing to work with the setting, the setting to work with the thing, or just do away with the thing altogether? Do these relatively small things that were thrown out at random have enough common ground for you to string them together into an overarching theme?

Fourth - start plotting.

A lot of the problems I’ve run into writing fic is a lack of forward thinking. I didn’t plan ahead, I didn’t try to analyze the direction of the plot was developing in, I didn’t go into the project with any goals or expectations...

Those are mistakes you should try to avoid making.

Plotting ahead can help a lot with avoiding these and can help you develop new ideas - a character who goes through a series of dramatic events in a short period of time is prime for an angst episode that you might not have written in the first time around, or the gradual revelation of things a character shouldn’t rightly have knowledge of might make a big reveal about them being an outside context problem for the setting a lot more understandable - after all, what’s the point of an answer to a question nobody was asking?

Try to make a rough timeline of events. This doesn’t have to line up with a canon-timeline, but it can be helpful if your story intersects with canon events or characters at any point.

Even stuff that you don’t have a hard date or place in the plot for can be useful here - just keep it floating until you find a place where it slots in well between what the characters need to be capable of and where the rest of the plot is tonally.

You don’t have to adhere strictly to the first plotline you come up with - writing is as much an art of discovery as it is planning - but it’s always good to have on to start with.

My best three pieces of advice for doing a rewrite?

1) Take your time. A lot of the problems with your first story, besides inexperience, can be rooted with being in a rush. A rush to keep the updates coming, a rush to get to 'the good stuff', a rush to fit in writing with the rest of your life schedule. This time, give everything time. Time to research, time to bounce ideas off of friends, time to think about the implications of what a character doing XYZ would actually mean, time to check over your work for any holes you didn't catch while writing it. You're working with fanfiction, a land where deadlines almost never exist unless you set them yourself. Take advantage of that. 2) Never make it a straight retread 'but edgier/meme-ier/whatever-ier this time'. If you want to shift the genre, you have to put effort into changing the nature of the story in a way that feel natural to it. Your audience 'knows' the characters by now and will be thrown off by a new version that barely resembles the old that's somehow still running through the same story you told before. 3) Give your old audience something new to chew on.

This ties back into the second point a bit, but seriously; make sure that something new happens in the story. Had a lull period in your first go because there was a similar time-gap in the original series? Fill it with something - a new enemy, a casual event to unwind and connect your characters better, even a 'what's happening elsewhere' snippet. Had a character with a vague backstory? See if there's a 'natural' place to slot them in with the canon - depending on what fandom you're working with, that could run anywhere from specific locations and scenarios to just fitting with a larger running theme in other character's backstories.

You don't have to make a masterpiece, but there are going to be blank spaces in the canvas of your original telling where there's room to make more. A new audience might not realize there was nothing there the first time around, but your old audience will see the new content and appreciate it. You don't have to do anything big - sometimes changing too much will break the spirit of it being a 'rewrite' entirely - but try to keep it fresh, even if that's just filling in holes that nobody noticed in your original go. Anyway, good luck with your writing, regardless of if that writing is a rewrite or more original stuff.

#rewrites #writing #plotting #fanfic #fanfiction #this is a partial repost from a writing forum I hang out on a lot so there's a small chance that someone might recognize it #and if you do you should know that this was one of the essays that encouraged me to make this blog in the first place

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sabraeal · 5 years

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We Seek That Which We Shall Not Find, Chapter 4

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Written by request for @fade-touched-obsidian‘s birthday. Which was actually the day before mine! But let’s be real here, this is far from the latest I’ve been with a birthday gift...

“I think we might be dealing with a wizard,” Mitsuhide posits as Shirayuki removes the last cursed servitor from the map.

“Wow, you think?” Kiki drawls. It’s been a slog since they left the clearing, one or two of these twisted summons showing up with every step they take towards Laxdo. “I just thought this was the natural fauna of fifth-century Wales.”

He frowns, wounded. “I’m just putting out an idea.”

“Big guy’s got a point, but I think our bigger problem is that this is a, uh--” Obi snaps his fingers, eyes rolled back as he thinks -- “a gestalt game. So sure he’s like, some sweet-ass wizard or whatever, but what’s his second class, you know? Like, I can stab a wizard, but if he’s got armor or something...”

Kiki raises her eyebrows, mouth twitching. “I feel like you are underestimating how hard it would be to kill an actual, competent wizard.”

“Well--”

“That’s played by Izana,” she clarifies.

“Ah.” Obi tips his head, letting it thunk against the back of the chair, which is -- a lot, considering how much throat he suddenly has. Right there. Next to her. “Good point.”

“He could be a sorcerer too.” Shirayuki winces, hoping she doesn’t sound -- desperate. Which is what she feels, for no reason at all. It’s not as if everyone here doesn’t know that this is only her second session ever, but still that urgent pulse coils in her gut, making it imperative that she participates, even if she can only name five class off the top of her head, and two of them are hers.

Obi’s gaze hooks on her, thoughtful, and -- oh. Well. Maybe that could be part of it.

“Or an Arcanist?” she offers, lamely. “I’m not sure what other classes can summon.”

“Witch?” Mitsuhide offers.

“Summoner,” Kiki deadpans.

“Too many.” Zen rubs at his forehead, an annoyed sigh hissing through his teeth. “And his stupid minions have bled us dry before we’ve even reached the castle.”

“Are you going to camp down for the night?” Izana inquires, far too innocently. A shiver rolls down her spine. Shirayuki may not have been playing long, but she knows better than to trust him when he sounds like that, all calm and amused.

“No!” half the table shouts out, only her and Obi left blinking. Zen adds, “Can we ask our new friend if anyone is waiting at the castle?”

A sigh would be too pedestrian for Izana, but Shirayuki can tell he’s disappointed they didn’t take the obvious trap. “When he left, he says, he was the only man standing.”

“Man as in humankind-man?” Mitsuhide asks, a nervous tremor rattling his words. “Or as in like, a not-woman? Or in a more general sense--?”

Izana holds up a hand. “I’m afraid this level of philosophy is beyond him.”

“Or his geas,” Shirayuki murmurs, tracing the wood grain with her finger. Every eye tracks straight to her, and she shrinks. “I’m just -- presenting an alternate point of view.”

“I know,” Zen sighs, “and I hate it. Is there any way to know...?”

“Oh, I’m sure you could find a way.” Izana’s mouth curves, and every head drops to stare down at their sheets.

“I have zone of truth,” Mitsuhide offers, his giant hands clutching at the paper like it’s a life raft.

Shirayuki bites her lip. “But will it get around his geas?”

“Yeah, how truthy can your truth get, big guy?” Obi rubs at his chin. “Is it like...universal truth or something, or just how he sees it? Or how this wizard dude wants us to see it...?”

Mitsuhide’s eyes widen. “I...I don’t know. Let me check the text.”

“I always got good old, non-magical Sense Motive,” Obi reminds them. “That could do the job without wasting a spell slot.”

“Same problem.” Kiki drums her fingers on the table, tick tick tick, mouth pursed in a moue of annoyance. “The truth is relative.”

Mitsuhide grunts. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Listen--”

“Before we get too deep into moral philosophy,” Izana hums, “this seems like an excellent time for a break.”

It’s not until he mentions it that Shirayuki notices how stiff she is, how much her muscles are screaming to move, even just a little. She straightens her spine, just to be mindful of her posture, and every vertebrae along it gives its very vocal opinion.

“That sounds--” she coughs, trying to cover the large crack her back makes -- “nice.”

“But we’re not even at the castle yet!” Zen protests, mouth rounding into a frown.

Izana’s brows raise. “Oh, so you are going to trust you friend?”

Pink flares on his cheeks, his ears. “I-I didn’t say that.”

“Break time it is, then.” Izana lets his mouth pull into an unnerving smile. “I’ll expect your decision in fifteen minutes.”

They do not, of course, discuss the situation at hand.

As soon as Izana sits back in his seat, Mitsuhide is back at the bookshelf, pulling out Ultimate Equipment and a few other glossy companion books she can’t make out the title of. Zen is halfway to the stairs when Kiki calls out, “And where are you going?”

Zen stares at her, wide-eyed; the very picture of a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. “Snacks,” he manages finally. “Since my brother won’t share.”

Izana curls a hand over the tin like a dragon with its hoard. “That’s right, I won’t.”

Zen snaps a hand out. “See?”

“Not you,” Kiki says with a roll of her eyes, tapping at her phone screen. “I meant him.”

She jerks her head, and there is Obi, only a few steps behind with phone in-hand, frozen like a cat caught on the curtains. “Me?”

“No, the third idiot on the stairs.” She arches an inquisitive eyebrow. “Just what are you up to?”

“Uh.” He stares down at his phone. “I gotta...piss?”

“Oh, well then.” She smiles at him, all teeth. “Go right ahead.”

“T-thanks.” Obi takes a cautious step up. “I will.”

He bolts up the rest, and Mitsuhide glances at Kiki with a furrowed brow. “What was that about?”

“Nothing.” Kiki has already gone back to her game, bored. “He’s just calling someone.”

Mitsuhide blinks. “Didn’t he say he had to--” his eyes dart between them -- “go to the bathroom?”

“If he needed to use the little rogue’s room, we have one down here,” Kiki informs him, as if somehow a person could miss a room with a Jacuzzi tub.

“Maybe he just wanted more, ah...space?”

Her eyebrows raise. “I think Obi has probably pissed in bathrooms much smaller than that one and had no complaints.” She grins. “But the cell service is shit down here.”

“Shut your mouth,” Izana deadpans, no heat behind the words. He doesn’t even look up from where he’s making his notes, just continues writing in elegant longhand as he scrolls through the SRD.

“Get a router down here already.”

“And have you ungrateful little goblins even more distracted than usual?” He lets out a huff, amused. “I think not.”

“B-but who would he be calling?” Shirayuki winces when she realizes it’s her own voice that’s speaking, little more than a squeak. Kiki’s chin lifts, and over the edge of her phone, their eyes meet.

“I don’t know,” she admits, each word spoken carefully. “Maybe whoever he wore that getup for.”

Logically, Shirayuki is aware she’s being ridiculous.It just doesn’t help to know it.

She vibrates in her seat for three minutes until she can’t take it any longer, her legs expelling her out of the chair and launching her at the stairs with a lame, “I just remembered, I got -- uh -- group project?”

Kiki lifts her head up and gives her a long, searching gaze. “How unfortunate. I guess you should go handle that.”

“Y-yes!” She nods, far too emphatic. “Definitely.”

“School is very important,” Mitsuhide informs her sagely. “There’s plenty of rooms upstairs. We’ll come get you when it’s time.”

“Great!” she squeaks. “Thanks!”

Her phone is in her hands the second she hits the first floor, Kihal’s smiling face staring up at her. She nearly starts typing right there, but banging rings out in the kitchen and sends her scattering. It’s bad enough that she’s considering this, that last thing she wants is people knowing she’s -- she’s -- doing whatever this is. Phoning a friend for -- for life advice, maybe.

She twists the other direction, circling the grand stair to go down a darkened hallway. Lights flicker on as she walks past them, both cool and yet utterly unnerving, like being in a haunted house only the poltergeist activity is helpful, rather than harmful. It reminds her of the lamp on the second floor of the old B&B, where the wiring was so frayed all it took was a good stomp on the second stair from the top to set it on, only it’s all over the house, instead of in a corner where she could dash madly past.

That urge follows her all the way down the hall, and only the certainty that it would be even more disconcerting to have the lights chase her keeps her pace sedate, little more than a purposeful amble.

It’s not hard to find and empty room in the house; she passes by a half dozen on this hall alone, but every single one is missing a light switch. There’s lamps of course, a handful studding each room with silhouettes that say priceless antique, enough that she wonders precisely how much of this furniture predates Zen’s childhood. After all, there’s isn’t enough Tiffany glass in the world to survive a really determined toddler.

It’s after her second turn that she finally accepts that she’ll just...have to go in one of these rooms, under the cover of utter darkness, and turn one of them on if she wants some privacy. It just so happens that the room she’s next to has shadows shaped vaguely like bookshelves, and something like an antique globe, and -- well, when has a library ever betrayed her before?

She edges in, hooking a foot around what looks to be a suitably over-stuffed wing-backed chair, and sinks into it. One hand reaches out, trembling in the thin light, and quickly discovers that the lamp is missing it’s pull-cord, or a switch, or anything vaguely control-like. She even pokes it, just in case it might be one of those touch-sensitive lights she’s always seeing in Target, but -- no dice. It’s just her and the darkness.

And whatever lives in it.

It’s fine. She doesn’t -- doesn’t need a lamp if she’s just looking at her phone screen. Which is what she does, dumbly, for a good minute, willing Kihal to start the conversation first.

No luck on that one, either.

Hey, I have a question

oh there you are you disappeared pretty quick figured you must have hand your hands full of hot college boy

You mean with hot college bot?

i said what i said whats up?

Shirayuki hesitates, the blunt edges of her nails tapping at her case. She doesn’t even know what she needs to say, why she even thinks there’s something she needs to ask --

I just wanted your opinion on something

is it about boys??? if it isnt just lie to me im thirsty for boy talk let me have this

I guess it could be? It involves a boy

!!!! MORE TALK MORE FASTER

She grimaces. This is -- it’s a bad idea, pure and simple. Don’t read into this too much, okay?

too late, Kihal claps back, far too quickly for human hands to type. Shirayuki will never know how she does that, not without her fingers breaking the sound barrier or something. already looking at bridesmaid dresses. now lay it on me

With a deep breath, Shirayuki just types.

Hypothetically, if someone is flirting with you in character, does that mean they’re interested in you in real life? That sounds so much worse when I look at it, please forget I said anything

.... ok u r gonna need 2 back up this train because this is a LOT of nerd is someone flirting with you?? are you flirting with someone??? are you having verbal intercourse with someone at nerd night with all your other nerd friends watching????

What?? NO I just wanted to know You know, intellectually

you come out swinging with s/t like this and you want me to believe it’s for like personal edification or some shit are you KIDDING ME?? WHO IS FLIRTING WITH YOU SEND PICS

It doesn’t mean anything!

excuse me did u not just text *me* for my exact opinion on this or am i just high wtf

Okay, fair, but I don’t *think* it’s anything

uh huh cool okay i think we all know who should be the judge of that SO SPILL

The phone shakes in her hand, and Shirayuki tips forward, resting her forehead on it. She really shouldn’t saying anything. It’s all just for fun, and she’s just -- just taking things too seriously, like she always does. It doesn’t even matter, it’s not like she even wants something to happen --

I think Obi

cute college boy?? what did he do??? what did he say????

I don’t know It’s all been in-game so I think I’m just reading too much into it Not like it really matters, I just want to know so I know how to proceed I don’t want things to be awkward

JUST TELL ME WHAT HE HAS DONE OH MY GOD

Well, we’ve fallen on each other a bunch, and he makes all those ‘falling for me?’ jokes And Zen keeps saying he’s using corny pick-up lines

like wisteria is one to talk hed use em if he could pull it off

That’s what Obi said!

i like this boy already you should make out with his face

PLEASE FOCUS

im just expressing my opinion but continue if there is more to continue with which i know there is because i can feel you being awkward

Well, he also made a joke about how nice my breasts were

oh hm that was about lynet right

Yes

yeah i was gonna say definitely has to be fictional

don’t blame me blame genetics but what you have is very nice! quality over quantity

Please quit while you’re ahead I just don’t think it means anything I mean, he’s clearly flirting with Lynet, not me

right but she is like an extension of you it might just be easier to flirt with some fictional princess than like actually have to flirt with a real girl who may or may not be interested in him

Lynet is a lady of the realm But I understand your point

ohhhh well thank you MILADY

Oh God, don’t start I only mean that he has, you know Options

Options?

Like adult options Of people to flirt with I’m sure a seventeen year old doesn’t seem that exciting

you live in such a nice world but also isn’t this guy like...20? thats not really a big gap like that’s if you started dating a freshman or something

Right But still

so why does there have to be better options?? youre age appropriate its not like hes old like Izana or whatever

I don’t know He’s texting someone right now Kiki thinks it’s whoever he dressed up for

ok wait a minute back up he dressed up?

I mean, not...*dressed* up But he looks nice

hold up he came to your place dressed all nice?? at 7??

Yes?

and you think thats for...someone else? nvm i can tell this is gonna be a lost cause is anyone else flirting?? does this seem to be a normal thing?? i don’t know what’s normal for nerds

No Well, Zen does stuff too, a little Chivalrous stuff Like not wanting Lynet to put herself in danger Or talk to Beaumains at all

ugh ok well *that* is real

“Are you sitting here in the dark?”

Shirayuki jumps, phone slapping hard against her sternum. “Oh, Zen!”

His hair shines white in the hall light, a halo crowning his head, and she sees his teeth flash as he smiles. “You know, you could turn on the lights.”

“Oh, I...” She’s glad he can’t see her blush in the dark. “I couldn’t find the switch?”

“Switch?” His mouth ticks up into a grin. “Lights on.”

The room goes from night to day with a speed that leaves her blinded. She throws up a hand, trying to chase the afterimage from her eyes, but -- “Ow!”

“Oh! Lights off.” Zen lets out an awkward chuckle as they cut out. “Sorry, I get a little excited showing these off. I should have warned you.”

“It’s fine,” she says weakly, rubbing at her eyes. Even in the dark, they still sting. “I just have to get used to--”

Her phone buzzes, which is a strange feeling, so close to her chest. Like it’s having a competition with her heart over who can inconvenience her more.

“Are you...” Zen hesitates, eyes glued to her phone, tongue coming out to wet his lips. “Do you need to...get that?”

“No!” she squeaks, clenching it in her hand. “We were done any--”

Buzz. Buzz buzz. Buzz.

Buzz.

“Are you...sure?” he asks, eyebrow arched in a way too like his brother.

Shirayuki shuts her eyes, wishing the floor would just...open up and swallow her now. She can’t just...check with him here. Not when they were just talking about him. The last thing she needs is him catching whatever Kihal’s opinion is over her shoulder. With her luck it would be some sort of -- of short joke.

“Yeah, just...give me a minute. To wrap up.” Under her hand, her phone is blessedly still.

“Sure, just come back downstairs when you’re ready,” he tells her. “Izana says it’s about time to start.”

“Right, yeah.” She nods. “I’ll just be...a sec. I promise.”

He walks out of the room, and she scrambles to her feet, sparing one last glance at her phone.

“Oh,” she breathes. “That is not -- that’s not going to be helpful.”

ok since we can’t use wisteria as baseline normal for you know REASONS i guess the only way to find out if cute college boy is serious is to flirt back or make out with his face you know my vote

Thanks. Super helpful Great advice

that may be sarcasm now but im screen capping this for your wedding for my speech

Raised voices float up the stairs as she stands at the top, phone clutched in one hand and heart in the other. There’s no reason to hesitate; it’s not as if she’s going to -- to take Kihal’s advice. She only wanted to know if it meant something, so that she didn’t...encourage something she didn’t mean to.

After all, flirting for fun is one thing -- not that she would, the way she breaks out into a blush the seconds she makes prolonged eye contact with anyone, but she understands people do -- but she doesn’t want to break hearts, or whatever else Busha might call it with a wink over her tea. She just wants to be informed.

And now she is, sort of. So she should be able to just walk down these stairs and act like a completely normal person.

“Does anyone know where Shirayuki is?” Izana asks, disinterested. “We should begin soon.”

“I can go find her!” Zen’s chair scrapes as he stands.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, milord.” Obi’s drawl drags like silk as he speaks, as if every word is laden with innuendo. “I’m on the end here. I’ll go find my mistress.”

There’s no noise when he gets up, just a pound of her heart and there he is, frozen at the bottom of the staircase, gold eyes rounded as they meet hers.

“Oh,” he breathes, and then his face comes alive with a grin. “There you are, Miss.”

“Yeah,” she manages, voice trembling. “Here I am.”

“Is Shirayuki up there?” Kiki calls out. “Tell her to come down already. I want to get cursed and solve mysteries.”

“Please,” Izana soothes, “as if I would curse you.”

“It’s no good,” she minces, “I’ve played this game for three years.”

Obi lets out a huff of a laugh. “Well, you heard the lady.”

“I did.” She finds herself smiling back, hopping down the stairs to meet him. “Also, my name isn’t miss.”

His grin is far too close. “You’re right. My lady.”

“Are you done flirting?” Zen snaps, arms folded across his chest. “We’ve got a castle to save.”

“Who me?” Obi splays a hand on his chest as she walks past, and winks. “Never.”

She takes her seat beside him, smiling down at the table. Maybe...

Well, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to flirt a little.

#obiyuki #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #Dungeons & Dragons AU #my fic #ans #this was actually going to contain the next part of the Laxdo arc #but I KINDA GOT CARRIED AWAY #too much fun in the lead up #and I added A LOT to Kihal's texting #because i personal adore her roasting shirayuki #next chapter will be more HIGH ADVENTURE though #and awkward flriting #PERHAPS :3

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dukeofriven · 5 years

Text

Re-Reading Good Omens After Fifteen-Plus Years: A Review

[I a so sorry I didn’t get a chance to finish it before the show dropped the way i wanted - I had to bow out of Tumblr for most of the last few weeks to focus on a project. Bugger bugger bugger. Here it is now, later that I would have liked. Apologies, gentle readers. Spoilers, obviously for the whole book] I last read Good Omens some fifteen to seventeen years ago for probably the tenth or even twentieth time. I read it a lot. In the heady days of... I want to say grade ten?... no book seemed smarter, wiser, made me laugh more, and me feel smarter for having read it. I think my order of operations was all the Discworld books (up to, or just before, Night Watch) -> Good Omens -> Sandman, with the later changing how I understood the nature of story itself (but that’s for another day.) I suspect that Good Omens, along with The West Wing, Tolkien, and The Golden Compass, along with an enormous Colonial Chip on my shoulder (and a pretentious stick up the ass) eventually led me to becoming a Classicist after a brief and dreadful dalliance with the theatre. At the very least it certainly helped. So, what do I know think of Good Omens, a book I once read at least ten times (probably more) back when I re-read favourite books the way other people breathed often? (i.e. with constant regularity) Well, it’s not bad. It is not a bad book. It’s just not a great book. It’s not a terribly… cohesive book. It reads exactly like the kind of book that might get written if you and a fellow writer swapped a floppy disc back and forth in the mail a bunch of times adding bits as you went. Which, of course, is exactly what it is. The things I remember about the book remain as good as I remember them being - which is a shame because all the really good bits I remember about the book are, with a few exceptions, in the first half (Death still incorrectly says Revelations instead of Revelation in the second half like I remember. He’s still wrong, and it’s still weird given that the right name is in the book earlier more than once.) Everything goes rapidly downhill the moment Armageddon actually kicks off... something of a problem in a book about Armageddon whose entire second half is Armageddon. I remember Aziraphale and Crowley being great together. What I didn’t remember is that they spend most of the book apart, a crime because they’re at their best bouncing off one-another and far weaker solo, especially Crowley who really only has Hastur to talk to and he’s not a great conversationalist. If I could ditch Crowley Drives Really Hard and swap it for A&C Do Shit Together I would. I remember Newt and Anathema becoming a couple. What I didn’t remember is that they are entirely superfluous to the narrative, as are the prophecies of Agnes Nutter herself. I kept trying to remember why it is that Newt and Anathema needed to be at the military base - turns out they don’t. Newt doesn’t even stop the countdown, that’s all Adam willing it otherwise. N&A then wander over to the main group and just kind of stand around. The only purpose of the prophecies is to give Aziraphale an idea of where Adam is. That’s it. This is extremely frustrating because Anathema talks about how working-out prophecies has allowed her family to triumph down the ages, and it sets Agnes up as someone who was executed for being a truth teller - for being an other - even though one day her prophecies would be so important for the world. But they're not! Their one tangible impact on the plot is to have Aziraphale make a phone call that he immediately hangs up. the prophecies only document the end of the world, they are irrelevent to the aversion of the End Times, which feels like one of several moments where the book Is Making A Point About Human Nature And Reader Expectations but is undone by my old friend lousy framing. Toy cannot position someone as having “they know not what they do” importance and then just not follow-through on that. There is, I think, a sense in the book that What It’s All About is quiet humanism: that the story isn’t really about Armageddon, but the smaller human stories that happened around it: Newt and Anathema falling in... love, I guess? Mindy Newt: Homer Anathema, What’s wrong? Homer Anathema: Like you don’t know! We’re going to have sex! Mindy Newt:: Oh … We don’t have to. Homer Anathema: Yes we do! The cookie Book told me so

Or Shadwell and Madame Tracey. And that’s great - that’s a great theme. But the book fails to pull it off - largely, I think because once Armageddon kicks off it loses the human dimension its trying to argue is important for keeping the planet grounded, not because its trying to make that point, but because the authors get so distracted by writing a bunch of crazy Armageddon stuff that the actual important work - like fleshing-out characters and their stories properly - goes away in the hurly-burly of Important Shit Going down.

Take Adam. Adam lacks any real sense of interiority and wears his heart on his sleeve, which makes the will-he, won’t-he nature of Armageddon on which the whole book rests have... well, zero weight. Will Adam give in to his more evil nature? No. Of course he won’t. It’s not even a case of “of course he won’t ‘cause I know how stories go don’t I ain’t I clever” - it’s that Adam has no evil nature. None at all. A bit of child-like self-absorption , but that’s it. The book climaxes with Aziraphale realizing that the AntiChrist won’t pick sides because he is neither entirely Good or Evil - he is Just A Human, and therefore kind of both. The book has done a great job showing that duality of humanity: Mr. young, for example, isn’t a bad man. Nor is he a good one. He’s an average man, with all sorts of awful little prejudices and thought patterns, but equally enough basic decency that nobody could call him a monster anymore than a saint. So often in the book people do Bad Things without being depraved lunatics - they just get caught up in the churning mediocrity of life, what Arendt dubbed the ‘banality of evil’ after the Eichmann trial. The telemarketers aren’t child killers, and they don’t deserve their (frankly sickening and brutal) deaths - but every day they hurt people in small, irritating, vexing ways, perpetuating some horrid not because they’re nightmares but because it’s just their job. Again, that’s great. That’s why the first part of the book is the strongest: it’s full of the kinds of humanity you don’t normally see in literature outside of the Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. Desperately ordinary people - the real kind of ordinary, not the ordinary that tends to turn into anime heroes. But Adam isn’t ordinary. Not remotely. The book says this again and again, calling him a young Adonis, alluding to his unearthy Luciferian beauty, to his passions, to his commanding voice, to his leadership skills. His friends adore him, and for all that they might get argumentative with him the sheer god-like weight of his Presence cannot be ignored. So when Aziraphale explains:

"He was left alone! He grew up human! He's not Evil Incarnate or Good Incarnate, he's just… a human incarnate.”

My response is a rather limp “Um, well... no. No he’s not.”

“Aha!” I hear you cry. “The book’s not saying he’s ordinary, it’s saying he’s the embodiment of humanity: all their vices and virtues are amplified within him, and that’s why he has superhuman powers.” To which i reply that yeah, it’s certainly what the book is insisting in the case. But it’s not demonstrated within the text. I said above Adam lacks interiority: what you see is what you get. And what you get has zero amplification of evil. Adam seems like a genuinely good kid - in fact he is such a good kid that the book actually makes a point of commenting on how he is basically living in a parodic homage of a Boy’s Own Adventure novel. If Jack Trent, Frank Hardy, Tom Swift, and half the cast of Aladdin Paperbacks‘ first decade of publishing rolled up in a clown car and asked Adam if he wanted to hang, he’d fit right in. And they’re all painfully decent people. Adam status as a “troublemaker” - that is, even the vaguest implication that he is capable of “mischief” - is undermined by the book highlighting that the kind of people who complain about that sort of thing are Doddering Tory Blowhards like R. P. Taylor who wouldn’t know fun if it dressed like Margaret Thatcher and dry-humped their legs. For Adam to be the incarnation of humanity there has to be a sense that he is more human than human - that his capacity for good and his capacity for evil are so great that with him him the form of gestalt of pure humanity. But that’s rubbish. Because Adam does nothing the book seems to think is worthy of meaningful censure, or at least nothing that literally any child might do as well (like ruining his sisters dress while dunking her in the water). If the best the book can do to balance out Adam’s Local Boy Heroically Saves Summer Camp And Solves The Mystery Of The Puzzle Riddle Enigma is that well he’s kind of inward facing like every other 12 year old then, well... that really takes the wind out of the book’s big summating point. The same kind of language that gets used about Adam feel like you could copy past it into a Discworld book to describe Carrot Ironfoundersson.

So when, as happens. the book shows Adam coming Into his power and talk about Remaking The World, we don’t have to think he will and that all is lost - we know how to read stories, we’re not idiots. But we should at least have a passing moment of worry that he could had the circumstances been slightly different - that he, poised on the edge of good and evil, could go either way were it not for the redemptive power of his ordinary human upbringing keeping him ground. Which, I think is safe to say, is the conclusion the book puts forward. But there is no ‘could.’ Of course he won’t - there’s no tension there at all. The book kills it stone dead, in fact, when it notes that:

Seems to me it ought to be rolled up and started all over again," said Adam. That hadn't sounded like Adam's voice.

and

Adam wasn't listening, at least to any voices outside his own head.

Adam is described as basically being possessed - at the most critical point of Armageddon, when the AntiChrist is placed to make a choice not even between Good and Evil but between The Harbinger Theological Inevitability and Sod All That Let’s Just Keep Living Because I’m A Human it is no choice at all because Theological inevitable is distinctly described as being separate from who Adam is. Which is dreadful! Adam is American Dennis the Menace - he sometimes get Into Mischief and Breaks A Vase or Ruins A Garden but he’ll still hang out being a friend to a lonely old coot - when he ought to be much closer to the British Dennis the Menace - an monster of a child who spent most of his seventy years of existence essentially bullying gay kids (”softies”) but also, now and again, when the moon’s aligned, showed a Heart of Gold under his menacing exterior. Adam didn’t need to be BritDennis, but he damn well needed some kind of edge to him - a REAL edge, not ‘well he can be bossy’ or ‘he had devilment in his eyes’ or ‘he could be thoughtless.’ Adam needed to have scenes of him being a little shithead: not killing pets, but at least being spiteful or snide or capable of sin. In To Kill A Mockingbird Jem destroys Mrs. Dubose's flowers in a fit of pique. That’s something. Adam? Nothing. So there’s nothing to hang the tension on, and any time to book has any anxiety about Adam’s moral character it rings hollow, because Adam is fundamentally decent and good and nothing so much as feints at the idea that any part of him might be otherwise.

Plus, to bring it back to the prophecies being useless, Adam gets upset about the state of the world because he borrows some of Anathema’s Save The Wales magazines, which he would never have been able to do had the Book not made her go to Tadfield in the first place. Now the book has a certain “Butterfly Flaps Its Wings” mindset - sometimes it’s the little things that put big things and motion.

But it’s muddled, because it implies that Armageddon is nothing but a last-minute whim of a mercurial child: which is great for when the plot of your book is a deconstruction of the idea of Inevitability, but a bit rubbish when the OTHER major theme of your book is that human evil is in ordinary narrow-mindedness. The idea of a story where everything builds up to Armageddon - but Armageddon fails to arrive like an eschatological Godot, (leaving everyone standing around a bit puzzled) is a great theme for an ironic novel. But it clashes again and again with the theme of the book’s first half- that humanity is more creatively terrible and kindly virtuous than any devil and or angel could hope to be. The corollary of that ought to be that when Armageddon arrives it is precisely because of that human fallibility. Having all this build up and have it massively fizzle out can work, when written right - The Real Treasure Was The Friendships You Made is always funny when handled correctly. But Good omens builds up to things and drops them half a dozen times in the finale, which ends up not seemingly like comedic point but an inability by two authors to "bring the story home” and tie any of their threads together. I mean take the actual act of Armageddon itself: when Adam starts making the world go doo-lally, we keeping hearing reports of the world getting more agitated: we can see the shape of Armageddon begin to emerge, but because we’re still clever buggers and have read our Eliot we know that what’s likely to break the world isn’t going to be bang but a whimper: General John Amerioman gets off the phone agitated by a telemarketers, years at his secretary until she cries so she forgets to inform him that President McSmith called and because he didn’t call her back the President fails to get the advice she needs and makes a foolish error that pisses-over the Russian president who is then gets petty about something else and on down the line until a series of understandable but critical failures of empathy - don’t yell at your secretary, don’t cold-call people about duct cleaning - sets the table for the nuclear. That Adam stops it is because he shares that same fallibility and knows that punishing humanity for it as a requirement for Divine Inevitability would be unconscionable. But when Armageddon arrives, humanity has literal dick-all to do with it. We get this lovely buildup with the Four Horsemen the entire book - Revelation says they will be present at the Day of judgement so its time to get the band back together. The narrative of the book fixates of the Four Horseman’s ride to the airbase, with the understanding that once they arrive Armageddon will begin because everyone is congregating on that place at this time. So the Four Horseman arrive and... and the disguise themselves as some generals to get on the base, they break into a computer vault, and then... Jesus, War personally fucks with a computer and then Pollution personally corrodes the counter measure systems with Death and Famine stand around and watch (so much bloody standing around watching the plot happen in the part of the book) them do it, at which point all the nuke silos all over the world open up and countdown begins. What. THE FUCK? Humanity is irrelevant to the end of the world, exception in the broadest sense where they had these destructive weapons in the first place. But they also had extensive security systems that the book notes are really good until Two Supernatural Beings Broke In And Destroyed Them. There is no human element in Armageddon: all that chatter on the radio about rising tensions and increased stress? Meaningless. The book’s whole point about evil lurking in the hearts of every ordinary person - that really anyone is capable of being good or evil on a given day, and that one angry secretary is as capable of starting the end times because of a telemarketer as any raving dictator with their finger on the button? Irrelevant. As much as War and Pollution are said to be mere embodiments of humanity’s failings, existing solely in ‘THE MINDS OF MAN” (baffling in and of itself had Pestilence not been swapped-out for Pollution, because lets be honest that would have meant waving a hand at everything from the Black Death to AIDS and calling its source moral failing which what the fuck, T&N?), they’re all actually characters with agency and personality and will. Which means within the context of what’s happening Armageddon is caused by two characters going out of their way to FORCE it to happen.

(It’s! Shit! The book right here? Shit. All the keen oft-comedic insight as to the nature of the human condition is throw away in this moment. A book that seems so devoted to making a reader think seriously about complacency, about letting evil slip on by because its not wearing a big scary mask (and god how prescient that seems in times like these - how horrible correct it was that we were complacency in the 80s and the 90s and didn’t notice the evil rising all around us), drops the ball here and doesn’t require humanity for its climax.

"I don't see what's so triflic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people," said Adam severely. "Anyway, if you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.”

That’s a great sentiment, Adam. Only nobody is this moment is cross about people acting like people because nobody had - the world nearly ended because some Non-people willingly broke shit. Also, in the context of the novel - it being détente and glasnost and the Tear Down This Wall speech and Zhao Ziyang making reforms in China and on and on - as far as anyone could tell people WERE working it out. The book notes this explicitly, in fact:

“...reports available to us would seem to, uh, indicate an increase in international tensions that would have undoubtedly been viewed as impossible this time last week when, er, everyone seemed to be getting on so nicely.”

Again: Armageddon isn’t caused by people. So when Adam tells Heaven that if they just back off people might be able to sort things out for themselves, well... they seemed to have been doing just that, book.You yourself said so. And the end times were brought about by non-human actors.)

So Adam and his friends confront the Horseman and “defeat” them through some last minute cosplay. Why? No clue. The imagery is great but I don’t know why they do it - the Four Horseman are heralds of the end times, and perhaps its chorus, but now they’re villains that need to be defeated I guess (even though Adam fixes what they did with a wave of his hand anyway). Newt and Anathema arrive on the scene because Agnes Nutter told them to, and they get to the computer, and now maybe poor bumbling Newt is going to have to fix a computer when he’s only ever broken them while Anathema... stands there Jesus God... except... except Adam waves his hand and fixes the computer making Newt’s presence irrelevent. Well, still, more book to go, maybe they can pull something good out of this. Armageddon may have fizzled out, but it’s still The Day of Judgement and the Last Battle. Newt and Anathema might not have fixed the computer, but the are here at the airbase, and they make the most of it by doing nothing, providing nothing, and being needed for nothing. Shadwell and Madame Tracey are there - Shadwell is the vessel for Aziraphale, and once he’s out he stands at the sides with A&C and prepares to march with them on the combined hordes of hell and heaven. Except that that doesn’t matter because Adam makes a gesture and gives a nice speech that’s sadly unrelated to to the world as described by Good Omens up to this point, and the Hordes of Heaven and Hell shuffle their feet and decided to go home for a bit to have a good long think about some things ha ha ha how droll. And the Then, oh no, SUDDENLY Satan himself appears - I guess its time to take our issues to upper management, surely Godot- I mean God - will come to and - oh, nope, Adam waved his hand again and its just Mr. Young in his shitty car (that really should have been a Wasabi what the heck, T&N?). It’s anti-climatic. I don’t mean from a standpoint of dramatic irony, I mean everything falls apart in the book as the story comes to a screeching halt. Here you have a reasonable collection of painfully ordinary people (hella white and straight people, but its 1990 we’re not terribly woke yet) - not Generals, not Presidents or Prime Ministers, not Corporate Titans or Dictators or anyone “Important” - just ordinary people present at the End of the World. And what is it in the ineffable plan that requires all these people’s presence at the End Times? Nothing really. Just think about this for a moment. Think about what OUGHT to have happened here. Not a battle, not a fight, not a war - we know from Endgame how disappointing it is to have to sit through a big dumb set piece battle that nobody seems to want: boring slog. No, what OUGHT to have happened is the power of humanity: that these ordinary nobodies come together and halt the end times, make the Legions of Heaven & Hell see - if not reason - then at least reconsider what’s happening, or even confront Satan himself not with the virtue of Saints but simply because they have what made Aziraphale and Crowley fall in love with the Earth the way they did: the charm of humanity. If an angel and a demon can both be redeemed by the love of humanity’s virtues and vices, its deeps and faults, then why couldn’t Satan himself do the same? Well, because Adam fixed everything with a few hand waves and a pissy speech so that’s all that solved. nobody but him needed to be there - not even A&C, who just end up commenting on the action while standing around like everyone else. It’s barmy. No wonder my brain erased it, choosing to remember the book at its best when it was still scaled to humanity. The book ends up having failed to make any of its points stick - the ordinary evil men do has nothing to do with Armageddon so its probably not something we should be terrible concern about - that just us loveable old humans doing as humans do. We learn that if Heaven and hell just stepped back and let people talk things out maybe the world would get better - but that was the case at the start of the book (prologue notwithstanding), and nothing that happened in the book adjusted that in any way.It has a point to make about the unfairness of Moral duality in Theology - except that Adam is parodically virtuous and contains no real evil so.. yeah, Good is great, actually, what was the point you were making, book? The book has a point to make about the value of ordinary people: if you need someone to stand around and observe shit get ordinary people, they’re great last standing around and not meaningfully doing anything.

And don’t even get me started on things like Anathema’s passivity. Look at her character: she passively lives her life by the prophecies until the day after the End Times Newt says ‘hey do you want to be a descendent for the rest of your life’ and Anathema has an epiphany - Oh, No, I Don’t, I Want to Live my Own life On Its Own Terms - and then they burn the sequel Agatha wrote instead of following it. But that’s… aaargh, Jesus, so many problems with that. The moment of epiphany is meaningless because if Agnes-The-Prophet (who would presumably have known that her manuscript was to be burnt) hadn’t sent it, Anathema was free anyways and would have had to live her life as such regardless. You could argue ‘but this way it becomes an active choice rather than a passive acquiescence to something she can’t change’ but the problem is that her decision isn’t rooted in anything except a comment Newt makes. Nothing happened to Anathema that has in any way affected her relationship to Agnes Nutter or her life as a decedent: in the book Anathema talks a lot about prophecies, lends a kid some magazine, boinks a guy who crashed his car, takes him to a military base, does nothing while watching the world end, goes home and boinks the guy again, and then has her memories of a large portion of the last day or so erased by the Anti-Christ. So when Newt asks ‘do you want to be a professional decedent all your life” why would she say “no”? She’s spent her life devoted to the prophecies, even become a watch as some kind of career, and what sense do we have in the story that she is dissatisfied with that? The only disappointment we get is that she’s kind of let down by Newt being not terribly handsome - but that’s Newt’s issue, not Agnes’. The book wants Anathema to realize that she is now ‘free” of living by prophecy - but she doesn’t ever give the sense that she feels imprisoned by prophecy. She seems to feel like its a mark of distinction, and nothing over the last day - even the shit she can’t remember - has done anything to change that. There’s a version of this story where Anathema repeatedly demonstrates that she feels powerless in life: that all her choices were chosen for her, even something as outré as becoming a witch, and so when Newt asks her that question she looks back over the events of the last few days - or even her life - and makes the decision to say ‘no’ as a natural extension of her recent experiences. In this version of the book she and Newt would have to have actively made choices at the airbase of their own free will in contradiction of what Agnes said MUST and WILL happen, and because they did that things are better than Agnes said they would be.

But that doesn’t happen, and instead we get the version where Anathema burns the sequel because Newt’s in her life now and having a man to point out the obvious is what all women need. That’s not what the book is trying to say but this-time-round that’s how it read to me. If Newt had had to run up to London for a couple days and she got the manuscript in the mail she would have kept it, because why wouldn’t she?

(Gosh, Newt. One last point: I hated Newt. Maybe ‘schlubbly ordinary dope who gets the girl’ was revolutionary in 1990 but thirty years of pathetic nerd heroes getting the girl have left me only able to focus on the pathetic. He gets to be the the Jen to Anathema’s Kira - a completely useless dolt who gets lead around by a capable woman who knows everything and has all the skills but he still gets to be The Hero because, well, he’s the dude. He gets to bumble around the missile computers at the climax at the book, framed as a hero while Agetha stands there and pleads with him to fix things. He spends his time getting horny for Anathema and thinking sadboy ‘maybe I’ll get to touch a girl for once’ crap - which made my skin crawl oh sweet Jesus. Basically just fuck that guy and his whiny Pitiful Loser Nerd attitude.)

Look, when the book is good, it is SO GOOD. “Shadwell hated all Southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole” is one of the great lines of literature. Famine and the dieting meals that kill you? Genius. The individual prophecies of Agnes? Wonderful. Shadwell seeing her in a vision (which, alas, comes to nothing because Shadwell having a change of heart about witches comes to nothing really)? Poignant. The Hell’s Angels? Wonderous. The incredible, perfect, oh god I adore is so much defence of the virtues of Rural English life at its best - full of foibles, yes, painfully human, yes, liable to contain shitty old Tories who put people into power who’ll plow it all under for suburbs, yes - but yet, at the same time, wonderful, too. Worth preserving. Worth fighting for. yes yes a thousand times yes let’s seeing a song about it:

youtube

Sure, some of the stuff hasn’t aged well (there’s a bit abut First Nations people that comes to mind), but most of it has - and some of it as bold for its time as it remains now. I frequently found myself thinking “this book is much too complicated for Tumblr” - the Tumblr world of Good or Bad doesn’t really have room for Shadwell, the indiscriminate racist with the heart of gold. Parts like that had me shaking with laughter - I can still recite whole scenes to you with manic glee. But the ending is a mess. It’s bad, actually - just outright bad. The book starts great. It ends terribly. It’s a crushing disappointment to go back too - and when I heard the story on the show was going to be super-faithful to the books I went “shit - but the book’s a bit rubbish on the story front. All the good bits are the characters interacting and the side stories and comedic asides - the actual story is a confusing mess.” That’s why I hope Neil Gaiman brought the writing chops that gave us The Doctor Wife and not, y’know, Nightmare in Silver.

In conclusion: man I remember Good Omens being a whole lot better. (Also, I remember more of Adam’s Gang having more to do, and they didn’t, and they’re all great and that’s a shame.)

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fluidityandgiggles · 5 years

Text

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 15

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Two months. It took me two months to write this chapter. I... I’m honestly kinda surprised at myself...

Umm... I didn’t intend on writing this chapter so early, it was meant to be dragged on for a while more and has kind of a big time jump in it (for plot reasons, trust me), but I mean... the fuck with it. The world deserves some BAMF Emile, we need some cuddles, and the subject of the first... three fourths of this chapter is one that I went to friends from a discord server with and told them I’m trying to make it really subtle and one of them just went, “This isn’t subtle at all, this shit is jumping off the walls and doing somersaults in front of me.”

So I mean... let’s get this over with! Let’s let the cat halfway out of the bag and have the first Emile-centered chapter of many, many others planned.

Thanks as always go to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for not geting super extra frustrated with all my weird questions, to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for being my guinea pig most of the time and for the original idea, and to @winglessnymph and @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl for sticking with me and my insane ideas from the beginning (and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you shit about this chapter, but y’all knew it was coming).

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @ilovemygaydad, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). Not as much in here, actually in this chapter it’s pretty non-existent, but this trigger warning goes in every chapter. This chapter also includes Holocaust mentions, discussion of mental health, and that’s honestly about it I think but please let me know if there’s anything I missed.

—————

Wednesday, March 19th, 2003

"Do you understand why I asked you to come here today?" Gilliam asked, clicking a pen.

Emile was frozen in his seat.

"Umm…" Emile's leg started shaking. "Is it about my last project…? I swear I really did read everything I said I—"

"Look…" Gilliam sighed. "You're a fantastic student. Really, Emile. You are one of my best students. But… I gotta say, you remind me of myself, and not in a good way."

"What do you mean…?"

"Do you mind if we went over your last test?" Emile nodded, feeling the heavy sensation in his stomach get even stronger.

"The last test I took was the implicit…"

"Your last written test," Gilliam clarified. "The one in December." He pulled out a folder labeled and decorated with a mint green marker.

‘Emile Picani - 2002/3'

"Your answers were great," Gilliam said with a sad smile as he pulled out the last test from the back of the folder. "They just didn't fit the questions. Look here, define four of the following five Gestalt Laws of Organization."

"I defined four of the following five Gestalt Laws—"

"You explained them, Emile. Define and explain are two very different instructions. I've been there too, kid. I know it's confusing." Emile wanted to vanish right then and there. It wasn't… he was trying his best! "Also, question eight, part c, why do we dream?" The doctor started underlining the question with his pen, thankfully closed. "Take one of the proposed theories and provide one way in which this may be supported."

"But… but I did—"

"Part d, take the same theory from part c and provide a way in which it might be refuted."

Well… they were going to kick him out, weren't they.

"You're a very smart kid, Emile Picani. I'll bet you so many people told you you have such potential and all that… I know it's very frustrating." Gilliam pushed Emile's glasses up, wiping his eyes from unshed tears in the process. It was… somewhat calming. "Did anyone ever suggest that you might have ADHD?"

Emile shook his head. That possibility… well, he didn't want it to be a possibility! Sure, it wasn't the end of the world if he did, but… his parents didn't have to pay for more adderall than necessary, their neighbors didn't need any more reasons to call his mom a drug addict! And… the counselor at his high school had to be right. He was stupid… wasn't he? Learning disabilities just made you stupid…

He was useless. Regardless of what his professor thought.

"Getting into university at seventeen years old is no easy fit," Gilliam kept rambling. "I remember Walter reading your essay to me—"

"Walter?"

"...oh, right! Professor Freeman." Emile's eyes darkened a bit, as if he already knew what was about to be said. Gilliam just laughed. "Yeah, he immigrated from Germany in the late forties I think… poor guy. Changed his last name and everything! Yeah… so anyway, he read your essay to me. We fought a lot of people to have you accepted! I just… I have to ask you. Have you ever had issues like that in school?"

Emile nodded.

"And not in school?"

"I… I guess, yeah… why?"

Gilliam just pulled a light purple post-it note, scribbled something on it, scribbled the same thing again after opening his pen, and handed it to the very confused Emile.

"I said it before, but this time I mean it even more than last time. Go to the psych clinic. I'll write you a referral if you find it hard to talk to them, just let me know, but in my opinion you really should get evaluated for ADHD."

As Emile got up to leave, he fiddled with the note in his hands. It was… he was…

Was he really going to do that…?

"Austria," he mumbled as he reached the door.

"Excuse me?"

"Dr. Freeman is Austrian, not German. It can be confusing, I know. His family immigrated in 1947. And his last name is Landau. He never changed it, he just goes by Freeman for teaching because nobody liked the ‘Germans' post-Holocaust."

"Did he tell you that…?"

"You said he read you my essay, I thought you guessed already."

He was sure he left Gilliam baffled. But it didn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach any.

————

"I can't have it," Emile mumbled against Remy's chest, the note semi-safely in his pocket. "I don't want to!"

"Emmy, gurl, you realize you're making a huge deal out of nothing, right?" Remy laughed. "It's ADHD. It's not terminal cancer."

That made Emile cry even harder.

"No, no… Emile, it's gonna be alright. I promise. Okay? You trust me?"

"My uncle would be so disappointed," Emile whispered. "He's the reason I'm here! And… and I'm disappointing him so much!"

"You're a legacy, sweets?"

"Kinda… I guess." He sniffled. Remy felt his heart break even more, and for what? A mental disorder, a learning disability, a small neurological difference that only made him (in Remy's opinion) even more awesome? "I don't want him to… to lose his status... especially not because of me! He worked so hard to get a teaching position and I don't want to be his downfall!"

"Who's this uncle, sweetie? If you having ADHD will be his downfall he's probably not such a good—"

"Doctor Landau— Umm, Doctor Freeman. He's my mom's uncle."

Remy was… needless to say he was speechless.

"Which Freeman are we talking about, love?"

"Head of psychology, Doctor Walter Freeman."

...his name is LANDAU?!

"...so after about six months of knowing you, you finally decide to tell me that you're the great-nephew of the head of department?!" Emile giggled against Remy's chest. He couldn't believe it! "Scandalous! Preposterous! Un-be-fucking-lievable! Emile!"

"I swear that's not how I got in," Emile muttered happily. "I wrote an essay, I swear I did!"

"Okay, but still, gurl, that's not a secret! It's too big to be called a secret."

"There's no such a thing as too big a secret," Emile said in a near-perfect imitation of Freeman's accent, and then giggled again. "And besides, it wasn't a secret. You never asked!"

"My love, when I die, I want you to tell my dad that I loved him," Remy said in an overly dramatic tone, pretending to faint right there on the couch. "Give all my possessions to Leah—"

"Stop it, you drama queen!"

"Oh, I'm a queen, alright."

The conversation was interrupted by Katherine doing as Katherine does - which today meant running from her room to the kitchen, grabbing an orange and running right back, as if not to be seen - but as soon as she disappeared, Emile broke into an even bigger giggle fit.

"My aunt would be so disappointed if she knew I was crying over this," he said at last, calming down from his laughing fit. "Caroline is the harsher one of them, and… and she used to visit Evanston every couple months when my mom was in university to help her get through her degree and raise my sister. My mom had my sister really young, you know? She and my dad were nineteen, and… okay, sorry, I'm getting sidetracked…"

"Please keep talking, love," Remy told him gently, with a soft smile and a pat on the head. "I can go make you some more tea if you'd like before we continue?"

"No, that's alright! Maybe later!" The blond almost threw himself off the couch in excitement. "I actually think… I think I should talk to them about this… I mean, Caroline would almost certainly get mad at me for thinking it'll ruin his career, and Walter would help me through the whole diagnosis thing… he did the same with Julie before we knew what she had is narcolepsy, you know? So…"

"So is there really anything to be scared of?"

Emile shook his head. Remy wiped his tear-streaked cheeks with gentle fingers, fixing his glasses right after that.

"I… I'm gonna do it. Okay? I'm gonna do it."

He was so proud of himself. It was so cute.

—————

Friday, March 21st, 2003; 15:43 p.m.

"Doctor," the resident student-psychiatrist (Thelma Grinberg, an overly boring MS student Emile already knew) called as she stretched her hand to shake his uncle's hand. "That's a surprise."

"Since Emile is still a minor, I had to accompany him," he explained sharply. "Neither of his parents could come here today."

"Caroline could've come too," Emile mumbled.

"Your aunt has a busy schedule today, Emile."

"You do too…"

Thelma seemed incredibly confused, but kept going anyway. And it took her longer than was probably necessary to get through all the questions.

Emile hated people like that. (And so did his uncle.)

He was dropped off at his dorm before his uncle had to leave, and that probably spooked Remy more than it should have. The kind "Mr. Harris, nice to see you" didn't help any.

"How did it go?" Remy asked, looking almost straight at Emile.

"Quite well, I would say." The smile looked incredibly weird on the older man's face. "Call your mother for me. Tell her everything that happened today, ja?" Emile nodded eagerly. "Thank you, Emile."

"I didn't ask—"

And with a strict "I expect to see you at my office on Monday, Mr. Harris", the professor left the dorm building, leaving behind a happy blond and his flustered best friend.

"...what was that?!"

"I have to go there again a couple days before spring break for another test, and then after Passover for a TOVA," Emile explained, rather excitedly. "You know what a TOVA is, don't y—"

"It's that test where you click a button according to instructions, I know. Mueller explained it to everyone three days ago, Emmy."

"Oh right! And… and I guess that after those tests I'll know if I have anything!"

After a long moment of awkward silence, Emile tapped Remy's shoulder again. "Care to come over for the holidays? You didn't for Hanukkah and now my parents really want you to! I mean… I do too, but my parents haven't really met you yet and they think you're pretty cool and—"

"Sure, I'll come."

Emile had to do a bit of a double take. "Seriously? Remy, I don't think you understand what you're signing up for here, it's all my cousins from three different countries, most of them don't speak English, my grandparents, uncle Walter and aunt Caroline, maybe even mom's cousins if they'd be so grateful as to—"

"No, I get it, sweetie. I have, like, twenty cousins on Linda's side alone, more or less. I'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

Remy may have known before that he'll do anything to see Emile smile, but… he's never realized it until now. Probably? Maybe? But as Emile started bouncing happily and jumped in to hug him, Remy finally accepted the reality.

Coming over to Emile's during spring break was no trouble, but… in the long run, he would do anything to see him smile.

—————

Wednesday, April 16th, 2003

This was… definitely not spring break anymore. Remy was pretty sure that the higher ups in administration would rip him a new nonexistent one when they found out why he took a week's vacation in the middle of the spring semester…

Then again, so did a lot of the other students, and some of the staff. So maybe he was exaggerating…?

Eh. Finals start the week after that and end in May. He can allow himself a week off.

And yet he still had no idea how he ended up like this, watching Prince of Egypt with his best friend and said friend's three-year old niece at nine in the morning, as said friend's mom was overworking herself in the kitchen trying to make space and food for over thirty people…

Oh, and there was a dog too. She was currently playing with a squeaky toy, but she was there.

He only processed that this is the situation he's in once Emile started trying to get his niece singing. He had no idea what was going on on screen, but… something was.

"Mom, where's everyone?" Emile called to the kitchen after failing - for the hundredth time - to engage Analiese.

"Where could everyone possibly be, Emile?"

"Walter and Caroline are in town for the things you forgot to buy, grandma and grandpa are probably at their connection…" he started mumbling, counting on his fingers in an odd fashion. "I don't know!"

"You just said so yourself," Remy laughed quietly, grabbing Emile's hands gently. "Let's go over this again. Walter and Caroline are in town, your grandparents are at their connection…"

"Yeah, I know that," he groaned, slightly frustrated. "I just… everyone… here. That's what… that's what I'm confused about. Where's everyone here."

"...where everyone is seated?" Emile nodded. "Oh gurl… do you wanna make place holders, organize the seating, do you want to…"

"I just want to make sure nobody wants to sit on both my sides. One is okay, but you have to sit on my other side and I'm worried about that."

Oh…

"Well, we're gonna make sure that nobody takes my seat, okay?" Remy asked, kissing Emile's cheek afterwards.

"I sit with Emile!" Analiese declared, her attention now directed at the boys. Emile started laughing and leaned over to pinch her chubby cheek.

"We will read together, and sing together, and if mom complains we're gonna tell her off, right Ana?"

The toddler nodded, extremely determined, and Remy felt his heart melt all over again.

This was too good to be true, and not even seeing his most feared professor walk through the door and sit down next to them in the living room could shake this feeling. For once, Remy wasn't scared of this man. Through some odd change of fate, or something like that.

"So this is your first time doing such a thing?" Doctor La— Doctor Freeman asked, smiling gently as Analiese bounced in his lap and rambled about everything she's done this week. "Participating in Passover?"

"Yes, sir."

"He's my uncle now, not our professor," Emile laughed, squeezing Remy's hand. "You don't have to be so scared of him."

It didn't work as instantly as he wanted it to, but as the night went on, Remy actually… found that he wasn't that scared of him anymore.

As he said, this was too good to be true. And nothing could ever seem to be able to shake this good feeling.

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: holocaust mention #tw: mental health discussion

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kitsoa · 6 years

Text

Lyric Comic Q&A

So it turns out when you work on a project for half a year, you get a lot of Thoughts and want to express them whether people are actually curious or not. Without further ado, your un-requested Birdmen Lyric Comic Q&A

(Warning: I’m long winded)

*Why a Lyric Comic?

Dude, lyric comics are cool. I’ve always been fascinated by the beautiful, multifaceted artistic experience they provide, because of my love for music and art. Furthermore, I am often plagued by cinematic trapped in my head, spurred by the movement and lyrics of my favorite songs. Since I have no means or experience in the animation category (which would free these phantoms from my head) the lyric comic was a godsend of a medium for this inspired idea of mine. Kiki-kit of the Gravity Falls fandom and Tides-miraculous’ lyric comic in the Miraculous Ladybug are my main inspirations, I’ve adored their sense of motion and emotional savviness. It’s quite the powerful medium.

It’s also a good medium for me personally. I am a ‘looper’ with my music, allowing me to listen to something over and over without tiring. This is useful in the drafting stages! I loved the challenge (though I definitely didn’t anticipate it’d take this long).

*Why this song?

“Out of Mind” was one of those songs that spoke to me, in an overly cathartic, heart-yearning-- almost funnily sardonic ways. Birdmen being on the brain, I started to easily see how much the singers voice reflected that bombastic frustration our Eishi is so known for. The Pre-Chorus “Are you kidding me?” speaks to me the most, reminding me of his cry of frustration during his first blackout, screaming against his fate as he fell from the sky (this exact image did not make the final cut in the end, but I certainly vied for it until other themes overtook it-- let’s face it, there are many screaming Eishi’s to choose from).

This period of time between Takayama’s disappearance and the inevitable reunion is super intriguing to me. Eishi’s in the role of the heartbroken singer, hopelessly betrayed and unable to get over the good thing they had.

*Breakdown the story:

The progression goes like this:

Eishi’s loneliness consumes the first verse, Takayama’s empty seat, Eishi standing alone… all the while peppered with Takayama’s broken promise, which culminates with Eishi’s defiant Death Tweet. The Refrain then serves as these hallmark moments that define them. This is what they had. Every rescue, every proclamation or venomous defying of fate-- it’s what made them. And you’d have to be out of your mind to think that these moments could be forgotten.

Verse 2 is all about that shift in Eishi to follow him. Wistful memories drive Eishi as he chooses to leave and depart from everything he knows, just to get him back. Meanwhile, that opinion of Takayama is still weighed down by that grating irritation (like hell he’s in touch reality, how could he do this?) culminating to his call for him in the Himalayas. The Refrain fires again with the same point as the last but this time I tried to go for a more fervent angle, some of the scenes actually focus on Takayama’s feelings for Eishi and ultimately the pull they have towards each other.

The Bridge is where things get desperate. The moments in the manga where Eishi is in physical pain because of the Whiteout shake me so much. It reminds me of a straight up panic attack. I let this crescendo with the music, making the black void swallow the chaos in a quick snap. Building to the final chorus.

The whiteout is special because Eishi both yearns after this figment emotionally (his friendship with Takayama) and intellectually (what the hell is it and what does it mean?). It represents his unique position in the realm of the story being able to see it, but it ultimately captures the almost divine force behind the relationship of Eishi and Takayama. The outro then brings us back to Eishi failed call at the Himalaya’s, the whiteout ripping him up and forcing Takayama to save him. All the while calling back to that first interaction between them. A mysterious moment that obviously held more weight than any world shaking rescue. And I cap it off with a warmer depiction of their reunion.

*Are you shipping in this comic?

Despite the romantic song, my affections for the pairing, and any other subtext I’ve provided, I went in with the project with a platonic angle. Like I’m not lying. I’m on the ace spectrum or whatever so I kind of interpret every strong bond in the same realm. So that means, if you think it’s a romantic interpretation-- then you’re right. If you think it’s not, you’re also right. Love comes in many forms. Have fun kids.

*What was your process?

Storyboarding

Listen over and over and figure out where to phrase the panels. I then divided the lyrics up accordingly in a draft and reviewed the pacing over and over again. Does it flow? How many words would comfortably fit with each panel?

Determined the thematic arc. At this point I already had a few anchoring moments so I wrote a description of the panel in the draft. I went with the formula of Verses= move the ideas, Refrain= emotional accents, and the Bridge is like… the climax with an epilogue of an outro. This was tricky step. I debated a lot of ideas and some lyrics didn’t feel like a good fit until I really sat on it for a while.

Fill in the draft. This is where I sketch the general shape of panels. This is also where I look at the gestalt of the thing and make sure the composition is easy on the eyes. I tried to make it dynamic and zig-zaggy so as not to be boring. This is the step where one gets really excited about the project. Cause it’s no longer trapped in your head.

Sketching

Gathered references. Surfed the web, made some myself.

Made time to sketch, I did a lot of them at my summer job, made sure to draw about 2 or 3 a day. I had the time then because it was before I took on my day job. I was very surprised to find that I rarely went back to edit a picture or dispose of a draft. I went through with the mantra that I was going to finish the picture no matter what.

Stayed disciplined with said time. I would not let myself take a break from drawing because half the success came from the fact that I was on a roll.

When I finished them I then went through the process of scanning them (my scanner broke between the first 20 panels so RIP)

Coloring Stage

...Good lord. This is where I probably went the most wrong. Make sure you have a good process in place before starting out this stage. I was not one to digital art much as of late so my familiarity with my program was lackluster (and it also is literally the worst program in the world), and my laptop couldn’t handle more than 10 panels. So hurray for a very desperate fix. I did everything from my brothers computer, in his room. Sometimes at terrible hours because that's the only time I’m home.

Color planning. I rushed this process but I pulled up the textures and color pallets and reference images from internet searches and stock piled them. While planning I approximated the overall ‘tone’ of each pane; (is it a dark shade, a light shade, blue, or red in hue…) and then I adjusted that so the colors didn’t repeat or blend unless the panels where connected in the same scene. There was a lot of problem solving in the actual coloring so some of this was not as smooth and I paid for it later.

Sketch Editing. I was able to go back in, move around things and edit certain aspects of the sketch without compromising the entire work. This was a life saver.

Actually coloring. Because I color sketches it’s actually a painstaking process where I can’t use a wand or a fill. I’m not familiar with certain masking and coloring methods that would have sped the process up and I wanted to be consistent. This would take 3 to 5 hours a panel which I would do in small bursts.

Type-setting

Deciding font. I was hunting around for a good font for ages until I just decided… to use my own handwriting. This meant that I had to makes sure my tablet pressure specs were up to date and I had to practice my style. It’s not perfect but its cool.

Apply font to panel. There were moments when I literally said ‘screw it’ and left my handwriting a little more sloppy than standard.

Consultation. I worked with my graphic designer friend on improving the placement of text and the color choices. This was an interesting step she is a saint.

Finalize

Every single panel is extremely large. I had to resize each one. Before this I had many tests in the drafts to see how certain sizes would load or format.

*Will you make another?

Probably. Like, there is nothing more satisfying than getting something stuck in your head out of it. I have a lot of tunes I am fond of but barely any qualify for lyric comics (need to have a good pace, easy to latch on musical phrases, thematic content that works etc.) The fandom is important too. Now that I think about it I have storyboards for an old DCMK ‘lyric comic’ idea to Imogen Heap’s “A-ha” (it was like some hidden dark side!au shit I still come back to it). I can’t let my interest wan or it straight up dies. Birdmen is a really unique series for me because its held on for a remarkable amount of time and strongly at that.

Fun Facts:

I colored a total 77 panels, 11 of which were scraped versions of the core 66 because perfectionist tendencies.

It took me 3 months to sketch all the panels out, sometimes drawing 3 a day. I would often cradle my sleeping kitten while I drew.

Panel 54-- the final chorus, whiteout splash page-- took three days to draw. At first it was two pages taped together, then it was three. I had my friend mend the images together into a massive pic for me to color, then break it apart for blog distribution. The full version is used in her video edit of the lyric comic.

I didn’t use pressure sensitivity on my tablet until I got to the last chunk. RIP

It usually took me over a day to do one picture.

I do not have a computer in my room that utilizes the art program I need. I literally did every panel after #10 in my brothers room. Sometimes hella late at night too. Props to my generous brother, he tells me he likes the company.

I took a few notable breaks. All of Inktober was used on the art challenge. The weeks leading up to Birdmen Week. And at least half of the Christmas season was spent on coloring hiatus.

I like adding a ring around the pupils of the seraph eyes. This is not canon, but an error that I really liked. You can see it as a sort of glow.

I am having my friend edit the panels into a video for your convenience. I have no idea how long it will take but I’m tired.

#lyric comic project

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heavymachineindustry92 · 3 years

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A Conversation With Chuck Palahniuk, the Author of Fight Club and the Man Behind Tyler Durden

Itâs been more than 20 years since Chuck Palahniuk first unleashed Fight Club on the world and simultaneously inspired legions of impressionable young men and appalled their parents. But the themes Palahniuk explored in that book â the emasculation of late-capitalism and the creeping sense of worthlessness and dread that accompanies it â seems more relevant now than it did even back then. Modern men find themselves in a precarious position, where masculinity itself is being (justifiably) re-evaluated, and in some cases, derided as the source of all societyâs ills. And many of them are facing the troubling realization that they will never be as successful as their parents.In response, a substantial number of them have dug in to oppose that evolution â men who seem to worship at the altar of tyler durden, the Fight Club character who was a paragon of unfettered, unapologetic machismo. If Durden were alive today, he wouldnât inspire Project Mayhem â heâd be wearing a MAGA hat, leading a group of disaffected young men through the streets with pitchforks and staging #GamerGate-esque online harassment campaigns. And so, Fight Club seems to be a rallying cry for their anger.MEL recently spoke with Palahniuk about the bookâs influence on the toxic ideologies that have taken hold in our culture today; why he thinks another kind of toxic ideology â toxic masculinity â doesnât exist; the meaning of Harvey Weinstein, Joseph Campbell and John Lennonâs assassination; and how he coined the derogatory term âsnowflake.âA lot of the things you wrote about in Fight Club and revisit in Fight Club 2 seem even more pertinent today than when you originally wrote them more than 20 years ago. Specifically, the disillusionment of men who havenât radicalized but have adopted radical ideologies and the infantilization of the modern workplace. You were able to see the seeds of what has now grown into these very toxic elements in our culture.In Slaughterhouse-Five, thereâs a comment about how many people are being born every day. Someone else responds by saying, âAnd I suppose theyâre all going to want dignity and respect.â This dovetails into a grueling dread that I felt as a younger person â that status and recognition would always be beyond my reach. I think subsequent generations, larger generations, are coming up against that same realization: That despite their expectations, they might never receive any kind of status. And theyâre willing to do whatever it takes at this point to make their mark in the world.It seems like a lot of these movements, though, have seized on the ideas expressed in Fight Club. Theyâve co-opted these things that you wrote about and made it a part of their own ideologies. Do you feel any regrets or resentment about this? Or better put, how does it make you feel when you see menâs rights activists on Reddit quoting your work to rationalize the terrible shit they say online?I feel a little frustrated that our culture hasnât given these men a wider selection of narratives to choose from. Really, the only narratives they go to are The Matrix and Fight Club.Yes, they get red pilled and then they look at tyler durden as the platonic ideal. Exactly. Almost all the narratives being sold in our culture take place in this established, very static sense of reality. We have very few narratives that question reality and give people a way to step outside of it and establish something new. So far, the only two things are The Matrix and Fight Club. I feel bad that people have such slim pickings to choose from.But it almost sounds like you have a certain level of sympathy for these guys as well.I have sympathy in that I was young a long time ago. And I know the terror of worrying that my life wasnât going to amount to anything â that I wouldnât be able to establish a home or create a career for myself. I can totally empathize with that panicked place young people are in.What are your politics?My politics are about empowering the individual and allowing the individual to make what they see as the best choice. Thatâs all Fight Club was about. It was a lot of psychodrama and gestalt exercises that would empower each person. Then, ideally, each person would leave Fight Club and go on to live whatever their dream was â that they would have a sense of potential and ability they could carry into whatever it was they wanted to achieve in the world. It wasnât about perpetuating Fight Club itself. Have people come to you and said, âFight Club helped me realize my potentialâ?In a lot of different ways. Many people decided to, as a permission through nihilism, to go ahead and do the thing that theyâve dreamt of doing. And a lot of fathers and sons were able to connect to this story and express their frustration about what little parenting they themselves got from their fathers. A lot of people think of you as a nihilist. Do you bristle at that label?You know, I am kind of a nihilist, but Iâm not a depressive nihilist. Iâm a nihilist who says that if nothing inherently means anything, we have the choice to do whatever it is we dream of doing. Youâve been known to go after some of your critics throughout your career. Is that something you wish you hadnât done in retrospect?I willingly did it twice. And they were both instances very early in my career. Iâve never done it otherwise, so I can forgive myself for maybe taking actions I shouldnât have taken. But what the hell? I had to learn.This was before social media had taken off, too, and everyone was a critic. What is it like now when everyone can either directly give you praise or tell you what a terrible writer you are and how you should go die in a fire?You have to completely ignore it. Because if itâs all praise, it just gets you high and thatâs not healthy. And if itâs all criticism, it just gets you depressed and thatâs not healthy. So I ignore it as much as I possibly can. And the people who bring me the news, I know those people arenât my friends. Itâs like Nora Ephron, one of my favorite writers, once wrote: It takes two people to hurt you â one person to actually say or do the thing, and a second person to tell you that this thing has been done against you.Both Fight Club and Choke have been made into movies. Did you take any issue with the film versions?No. You know, there is no point. The book will always be there. The film needs to be its own thing; itâs a different medium. It needs to express itself through different aspects of this story. So you canât expect the film to be completely the book.But with Fight Club specifically, there were so many people who got rich and famous and whose entire careers were changed by that movie. I mean, David Fincher became one of the biggest directors in Hollywood afterwards. Is there any type of resentment that people are dining out on this thing that you created and that maybe your role in it has been lost somewhat?Not in the slightest. Because when that movie came out, it was an enormous failure. It was a failure in a way that Blade Runner was initially a failure. It was out of release within maybe two weeks and considered a massive massive tank. Pretty much everyone associated with the movie lost their jobs. It took a year or two of putting together the meticulous DVD to dig that movie back into profitability. Earlier, you mentioned the terror you experienced as a young man about maybe never being successful. But now that you are successful â and I imagine successful beyond your wildest dreams â are you fulfilled? Or do you have the same sense of dread?Iâm very fulfilled. Because I get to work with many gifted creative and passionate people. Thatâs great because we all want to live our lives in the company of other people who love what theyâre doing. Thereâs no better life than that. On the other hand, Iâve started to teach because I do want to be back in touch with what it was like to be that kid who couldnât write a great story. I want to be able to be with those people until they break through and can write something fantastic. I ask because in Fight Club 2, we find that the narrator has successfully put his tyler durden alter ego to the side. He got married and had a kid and is living the American dream in his house in suburbia. But heâs deeply unfulfilled. He worries his wife doesnât love him, and heâs worried his kid doesnât respect him. So tyler durden starts popping back up. To me, that seemed to express that thereâs a certain hollowness or lack of fulfillment in achieving what you want.Itâs funny, it isnât the process of getting stuff, itâs the stuff itself that becomes the anchor. Itâs buy the house, buy the car and then what? Itâs that isolated stasis thatâs the unfulfilling part you ultimately have to destroy. Thatâs the American pattern â you achieve a success that allows you isolation. Then you do something subconsciously to destroy the circumstance because you can come down into community after that. Maybe youâve got this great career where you can do whatever you want, but on the side, youâre sexually harassing and assaulting women. Youâre doing something thatâs going to force you out of the isolation of success. Itâs going to push you back into the community with other people. We like to move between isolation and community and back to isolation again. Are you referencing Harvey Weinstein specifically?Well, whether itâs Weinstein or successful people who abuse drugs or have affairs like Tiger Woods, people always create the circumstances along the way that will destroy the pedestal that theyâve found themselves on. Then they can come back to earth and just be a person among people. Lance Armstrong is another good example.So more of a self-destructive impulse. But is there any way to keep those two things in balance? Can those two things co-exist as a part of a manâs personality? Or are they irreconcilable?Can you build a house on a plot of land without tearing down the house thatâs already there? I think itâs inaccurate to call it self-destructive. In a way, itâs a different form of self-improvement or a different form of creativity. That act of demolition in order to replace the thing with a more profound and better thing.In the book, you also seem to portray suburbia as an affront to masculinity and manhood itself. Do you personally feel that way? I know youâre an outdoorsman and live in a rural area. Is that something that you seek out to maintain your edge?Thatâs a tough one. Because Iâm not so much talking about suburbia as I am talking about this self-isolation that goes back to the whole snowflake metaphor where weâre taught that weâre special and hyper-individualized by being told that weâre unique and innately a treasure. Itâs that idea of ourselves as different that drives us apart from one another. It was only once I realized, No, actually, all of us have far more in common than we have differences, and Iâm not a snowflake, that I recognized myself in other people. Thatâs when I started to write about myself as part of a larger pattern of a larger experience. âSnowflakeâ is an interesting word. Itâs what tyler durden uses to tell men that theyâre not unique or special. But now itâs been coopted by the alt-right as their favorite epithet of liberals and people who have no toughness. Which gets back to what we were talking about beforeâ¦You know, you want people to adopt the thing. You want to put the book in the movie producerâs hand and have them adopt it like a baby, raise it and put a huge amount of energy into it. In doing so, the movie producer is going to change it so that it reflects the movie producerâs experience. And once that material passes on to an audience, the audience adopts it. It will become the child of the audience and will serve whatever purpose the audience has for it. It would be insane to think that the author could control every iteration or every interpretation of their work.So you just feel like an innocent bystander to how itâs being used? You donât feel any type of feeling either way â good or bad?No, I do not. You know, itâs like J. D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye and the death of John Lennon. I donât think Salinger felt huge remorse that heâd written a fantastic book, and this book was interpreted by a damaged person. Nor do I think it was Salingerâs fault.Thereâs one passage in Fight Club 2 that I found particularly interesting. You write, âThroughout childhood, people tell you to be less sensitive. Adulthood begins the moment someone tells you that you need to be more sensitive.â Is that something that youâve specifically had to work on as youâve grown older?Oh, hell yeah. Itâs one of those little truisms. You have so many people telling you, âDonât be so sensitive.â Then, suddenly one day, it turns around.You seem very soft and gentle over the phone, Iâm surprised that the man who wrote Fight Club seems so tender in his voice. Iâm a much older man now too. Fight Club was 20 years ago for me. It seems like youâre saying that youâve released a lot of the rage you had as a young man.I was going through a huge disillusionment. Iâd been a really good student. I kept my nose clean. I followed this blueprint society had presented to me that said that if I did all these things â get my degree, pay back my student loans and work very hard â eventually Iâd achieve some sort of satisfying success. But it just wasnât working. Around the age of 30, all of that good boy stuff starts to fall apart. You have to make a choice as to whether youâre going to continue along that road, or whether youâre going to veer off that road and find ways to succeed you werenât taught. Thatâs where I was. I was really disillusioned that Iâd been given the same roadmap everyone else was given, but that none of us were finding it effective. We hear the term âtoxic masculinityâ a lot these days. As someone who writes a lot about manhood, what does it mean to you?Oh boy, Iâm not sure if I really believe in it.Why?It seems like a label put on a certain type of behavior from the outside. Itâs just such a vague term that itâs hard to address.Let me take the opposite approach then: Who would be the male role model in todayâs culture? Is there somebody who young men have to look up to as the ideal man and is someone who I should aspire to be like?Joseph Campbell said that beyond a personâs biological father, people needed a secondary father â especially men. Typically that was a teacher, coach, military officer or priest. But it would be someone who isnât the biological father but would take the adolescent and coach him into manhood from that point. The problem is that so many of these secondary fathers are being brought down in recent history. Sports coaches have become stigmatized. Priests have become pariahs. For whatever reason, men are leaving teaching. And so, many of these secondary fathers are disappearing altogether. When that happens, what are we left with? Are these children or young men ever going to grow up?Is that what you fear â that weâre going to have a generation of young men who have never been fully socialized? Who have never been fully taught, not just how to be men, but how to be fully realized people?Iâm not afraid that it wonât happen, because itâs gonna happen. One of the things that I loved about Campbell is that he explained gangs by saying this is what happens when thereâs no secondary father. These gangs are taking young men and giving them impossible tasks, giving them praise and rewards and coaching them to an adulthood. But itâs a negative adulthood. And so, as these secondary fathers disappear for everyone, there will be similar forms that will appear and fulfill that function. But they will coach these young men to maybe more negative manhoods. Yet it also seems like thereâs a lack of universally accepted male role models at the national level. Thereâs no Frank Sinatra or Hugh Hefner anymore â no one who, for better or worse, everyone looks up to. Do you think Iâm wrong in that assessment?I think youâre wrong in that these were maybe not the healthiest male role models to model yourself after. I prefer to think of someone like John Glenn.Okay, Iâll buy that. Is there a modern-day John Glenn?Maybe not on the big, big level that everyone can emulate. But I think that on a more local level, there are teachers who mentor students. The man who taught me minimalist writing, Tom Spanbauer, was very much the master of this workshop of students. And among his apprentices â the people who could produce work that was marketable â bought their way out of his workshop. They achieved a mastery of their own. Iâd like to see more of that happening. Instead of people just being given grades and being given loans to repay. Iâd like to see them actually demonstrate a mastery in something useful in this kind of apprentice/mentor student role.Youâve experienced a lot of death in your life and even volunteered at a hospice for a time. Why were you drawn to something so morbid?It panicked me as a young person to first get a sense of my mortality â that at some point, I was going to be called upon to die. Because I had no idea what it was like to die. By working at a hospice, I was able to see what the process was like â that some people die beautifully and some people die horribly, but that if they could do it, I could do it, too. It gave me a greater sense of ease around the inevitability of dying. Later in life, your father was murdered by the ex-husband of his new girlfriend. When something that terrible and seemingly random happens, how do you try to make sense of it?By using my journalism degree. By going to the trials and talking about all the details. By understanding moment by moment everything that took place. And by establishing a sense of, not quite control, but a sense of having mastered the narrative of what led to what.On another strange and inevitable level, my father had almost been killed as a child. His father had become very upset and killed his mother and himself. But he also tried to kill my father. He just gave up searching for him before he committed suicide. When my father was finally killed by this womanâs ex-husband all these years later, a mattress fell on top of his body as the building he was in burned. The mattress is what preserved his body well enough that they could identify him as my father. Crazy enough, the reason my father survived as a child when his father went insane was that he had hidden underneath a mattress.There were so many coincidences like that. So in a way, my fatherâs death seemed like this perfect circle back to this past event actually coming to fruition. There were just too many odd coincidences to completely ignore them all.And yet, despite all these coincidences, you still identify as a nihilist? Something like that is uncanny. It almost seems otherworldly that there would be that many parallels.Thereâs a choice â you can either identify as a nihilist, or you can try to impose your own belief system on something you donât understand. The latter option says more about controlling other people, and I prefer not to do that. Iâd rather work from a position of nihilism, because I think thatâs the best base for creativity and play.Still, you needed to process your fatherâs murder as a story and have some control of it in order to get past it.I treat storytelling as a digestive function. You ruminate like a chewing animal. And you chew a story over and over again until it has absolutely no emotional reaction, and youâve resolved your emotional reaction to it. First by distancing it as a craft exercise â by turning it into a story â thatâs one step. But the big step is to tell that story over and over again until youâve completely assimilated the event into your identity, and youâve exhausted your emotional reaction. You are no longer used by the story; youâre using the story at that point.You also supported your fatherâs killer being sentenced to death, a sentence that ended up getting commuted. I canât imagine you arrived at that conclusion lightly. Some of the officials showed me documents from this manâs lifetime of incarceration. It was unethical, maybe even illegal, but there were a long string of things that heâd been convicted of doing since childhood. This man had created so much pain and had destroyed so many peopleâs lives that it just seemed like the cleanest way of resolving his life. What was the most important thing that your dad taught you?When I was little, we lived out in the country and had this chopping block where we killed chickens. My father had told me not to put metal washers over my fingers and get them stuck. But I did it anyway. The washer got stuck, and my finger turned black. I went to my father, and he said, âWeâre going to have to cut this off.â It was completely clear to me that it was my fault, that there was a price to pay and that my father was doing me a favor by washing my finger and putting rubbing alcohol on the axe so it would be sterile.When we got to the chopping block, my father had me kneel down and put my finger on it. Then, he swung the axe and missed by an inch. Afterward, he took me inside and took the washer off with soap and water. But in that moment, I was very clear â and Iâve been very clear since â that if things are going to happen in my life, Iâm gonna have to make them happen â and if they donât happen, Iâm going to have to take responsibility. Thatâs one parenting techniqueâ¦He was like a 22-year-old guy. So I donât want to be too hard on him.Thatâs very gracious of you. Nowadays, someone would call DCFS if something like that happened.Again, he was a 22-year-old guy whose father had killed himself and his mother in a murder suicide. Heâd been beaten as a child and had grown up to the best of his abilities. He had no parenting skills. I think he did a marvelous job when you consider his circumstances.Aside from your fatherâs murder, the other big element of your personal life thatâs become public is your sexuality. You didnât, however, come out until 2003. And, in fact, even gave the impression that you were married to a woman. Why?Because of my partner. He doesnât want to be a public person. And the next question they ask you after coming out is, âWho are you with?â So I chose not to go down that road. For the same reasons so many celebrities will refuse to talk about their children â they donât want to make their children into public figures.If you were to start your career today, would you be more willing to come out? I imagine it would be much easier now socially speaking.Iâd probably do it exactly the opposite way. Iâd say no picture on the book. Iâd use a pseudonym like the author of The Hunger Games. Iâd refuse to do any kind of public relations. Iâd keep myself entirely out of the process. Why?Because Iâd like the work to stand on its own and to be judged on its own. Iâve become exhausted with the constant explanation of the work, which I donât think is necessary. Too much of the presence of the author can get between the reader and the story. Afterwards, the reader will no longer see themselves in the story; they will see too much of the author.Thatâs interesting because thereâs a certain kind of bro-y, straight white guy who really loves the Fight Club movie â and the book if they happen to read it. I imagine that theyâre a little surprised when they find out the author is gay. Would you consider that accurate?They are, and they arenât. I donât think itâs a big deal. I also wrote Invisible Monsters, which gay guys love as well as straight women because itâs all about that panicky feeling that this beautiful thing isnât going to be beautiful forever and that youâve got to transition that beauty into a different, more lasting form of power. Thatâs something so many beautiful women face and why people really attach to Invisible Monsters. And so, I think that by the time that book came out, I had such a variety of books in the world that the particulars about me were less important.Youâre really downplaying your own role in this. You donât take pride in the fact that people really resonate with your work and want to discuss it with you?Thatâs because my degree is in journalism. My job is to listen to people at parties and to identify their stories and to find a commonality in the pattern between them. Because when someone tells an anecdote that goes over well, it evokes other people to tell almost identical anecdotes from their own life. Then you choose the very best of these to demonstrate a very human dynamic. In a way, what I do isnât so much invent things as it is identifying them. Later, I just put them together in a report that looks like a novel.You think of your fiction as reporting?It is. I have so little imagination. But I have so much admiration when I hear a great story from someone â the journalist in me wants to preserve it, archive it and honor it in some way.Not long ago, we were talking about male role models, but it just dawned on me that I never asked you who yours was when you were growing up.Dr. Christiaan Barnard. He was a heart transplant surgeon in South Africa. There was an article about him in a magazine when I was a small child, and something about him just completely captivated my attention.Do you know what it was exactly?The idea that he had dedicated his life to heart transplant research but that he had developed arthritis so severe that he could no longer do the work himself. That seemed like such a tragedy and made him infinitely more appealing. John McDermott is a staff writer at MEL. He last wrote about how we need a better name for net neutrality to get people to start caring about it.More conversations:A Conversation With Conner Habib, the Syrian-American Gay Porn Performer and Radical PhilosopherMoments after the solar eclipse peaked over Los Angeles on Monday, I found Conner Habib perched on his porch. We sat onâ¦melmagazine.comA Conversation With Chris KluweThe outspoken former NFL punter whose mouth got him blackballed from pro footballmelmagazine. comA Conversation With Dan Wilson, the âClosing Timeâ Singer Whoâs Written Hits for All Your Favoriteâ¦How the former Semisonic frontman became a hitmaker for womenmelmagazine.comA Conversation With Keith Law, Baseballâs Foremost Intellectual and FirebrandESPNâs sabermetrics guru discusses antidepressants, the importance of logic and his great new book about the future ofâ¦melmagazine.comA Conversation with Langston Kerman, the âInsecureâ Star and Slam Poet-Turned-Standup-ComicLangston Kerman is an L. A. -based comedian who tours the country performing stand-up and is on the verge of starring inâ¦melmagazine.com

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dramatistsguild · 7 years

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DG National Report: New York - Central by Aoise Stratford

@dramatistsguild @AoiseStratford

Aoise Stratford: The Kitchen Theatre Company has a long history of producing new work. You’ve worked with many playwrights: Wendy Dann, Adam Bock, Tanya Barfield, Brian Dykstra, Anne Garcia-Romero, Rob Ackerman and Darian Dauchan, to name a few. How many world premieres do you think you’ve done over the years?

Rachel Lampert: I count 34 on our Main Stage including plays by those writers and several others, as well as several plays and musicals I have written with my composer-partner Larry Pressgrove. We’ve also produced new work on our Kitchen Counter Culture Series and our Family Fare Series has produced over a dozen original plays.

AS: You also have an impressive record championing the work of women and artists of color. Have you noticed any changes in the last twenty years in the need or opportunities to have diverse voices in our theatre?

RL: I wish I could say “all is right with the world”—no—but we are making some progress. I do see a recent upsurge in plays written by women being produced, which is terrific. I was thrilled when we got a 50/50 Award last season.

AS: Well deserved.

RL: Writers of color are still under represented and all thinking producers/artistic directors need to remain vigilant and conscious of choices. In the current political climate it will become increasingly important.

AS: Events like the Ghostlight Project and the Bad and Nasty Caberet, which you hosted at KTC, certainly speak to that. I have a particular affection for the Kitchen Sink Series, where we first workshopped my play, The Unfortunates. How would you describe the range of projects playwrights and artists developed there?

RL: The Kitchen Sink Series has been exactly what its name implies: everything “and the kitchen sink.” We get project pitched all the time. There are lots of people making theater without a home in our community, and, as long as nobody asks for an open fire pit, or to launch a rocket through the roof, we’ve been able to find space for everything from a student’s first directing project, to established playwrights sharing work, to dance, music, stand-up, and more. Being flexible has allowed us to commit resources (such as they are) to a variety of artists and we’ve been able to keep it affordable because a business in town agreed to be our Community Engagement Sponsor.

AS: What have been some of the greatest joys of putting a piece up for the first time?

RL: I love all the discoveries! We just produced Wendy Dann’s beautiful and moving play Birds of East Africa. She and I are longtime friends and colleagues and it was a shared joy to produce her play at KTC. We collaborated on incorporating dance into the storytelling.

AS: Yes, that was a lovely element.

RL: It was so exciting to see how this mix of text and movement enriched the piece and how the audiences embraced the non-linear structure. There are so many unknowns putting up a new play. I love the adventure of it. And, when the writer is part of the process, it can be an enormously satisfying journey of give and take, discovery and execution.

AS: What kind of hurdles have you had to jump in the process of producing new plays?

RL: We have limited resources and that means no additional rehearsal time for a new play. With only three weeks to bring the play to the stage, we must do a lot of work in advance. This can result in not fully addressing everything; some scripts need more time. Of course, everything learned in seeing the play in front of an audience contributes to the writers understanding of the next steps. Doesn’t it often come down to time and resources?

AS: And they are so scarce and precious! But you nonetheless manage to get a lot done. As well as being the Kitchen’s artistic director, you’re also a performer, a director, and a writer with an extensive body of plays and musicals. Do you think your own experiences as an artist have helped your work with writers and librettists over twenty years?

RL: I have total faith in the process. If the right people are in the room, something worthy is likely going to happen. I love figuring out the mindset/gestalt of another writer and then working to bring that to the stage. I love the psychology required for theatrical collaboration. I’m also continually in awe of how other people arrive at their plays. Some people make 180 degree turns with ease, while others are one-step-at-a-time rewriters. Being in the rehearsal room with so many different theatre artists over the years has been such a gift!

AS: Stepping down after 20 years you must have a lot to reflect on. But what’s next?

RL: I hope more writing. No excuses now. I also have some ideas for broader community-wide arts advocacy I can foster after I step down from KTC. More time with my husband. Travel. Friends I haven’t seen. Clearing out the garage? It’s been on the list forever. I will also get better on the fiddle which I started playing two years ago—as if I didn’t have enough challenges in my life, I added trying to make music out of a piece of wood and horse hair!

AS: And I look forward to hearing you do it.

[email protected]

#central new york #aoise stratford #dramatist #dramatists guild

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survivingart · 5 years

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ART HAS NO PURPOSE, ONLY CONSEQUENCES

An interesting sentence, uttered by a friend of mine while we were chatting over drinks, was that “Art has no purpose, only consequences.” and these six words really struck a chord with me. In today’s blunder therefore, I’d like to explore this statement, because I think a lot of us may posses a misconstrued understanding about our artistic production that could (and probably does) influence our ability to reach the right audience and consequently grow as artists.

But why does art not have any purpose? If you’re a regular of this blog, you’ve probably noticed me state several purposes pertaining to art throughout my writings and podcasts, and so the idea of art without purpose might seem a bit off.

To be honest, this fact is precisely why I had to write and explore this novel perspective, as it seems that just such a misrepresentation or miscommunication could be the culprit of a lot of convolution among us artists (not to say the art world in general)!

My personal view of life is that everything has either purpose or capability; the later being a given, as physical reality cannot be without capability (if nothing else the capability of being or existing), and purpose as the basic conception of said reality, projected upon it by beings.

An art piece, regardless of whether it is a painting, drawing, installation or any excuse for a real work of art, like the stuffed shark that made headlines decades ago, seems to posses some form of purpose. Were it not so, how could one possibly explain all the weird works that serve no utilitarian function, have no real graspable concept of what their purpose was (except maybe to be sold at outrageous prices on the secondary market)?!

And such riddles can — as with anything in our beautifully convoluted world of art — quickly be explained away by some form of concept. All we really need to understand even the most unintelligible work of art, possibly even completely void of meaning at the time of its conception, is just a glint of meaning that can be quite easily provided by just expanding ones context regarding any particular work, and eventually ending up at a feasible (albeit usually quite banal) explanation of what it should be representing.

A wonderful example for this is the function of an artwork’s title, and who better to direct our attention to as an example than the famous taxidermist of the art world himself, Damien Hirst.

Hirst’s work has always been accompanied by incredibly poetic titles and this was by far no coincidence or merely a reflection of the depths of his romantic, world-pondering soul. His decisions to name a rotting cow head with flies and an insect zapper, incapsulated inside a glass tank with the title: “A Thousand Years” was almost genius.

Maybe not in the sense of the renaissance idea of genius, and definitely not in the sense of master craftsperson, but fitting to the times, Hirst’s work was exactly on point:

Make art that creates a spectacle — preferably based on shock factor, so you can divide your audience into two disparate factions — and let people quarrel over your work until full media coverage saturation has been reached. Then repeat.

Anyone fond of Guy Debord’s book The Society of the Spectacle will quickly notice that such an approach cannot be sustained indefinitely (and alas, after Hirst’s worldwide Gagosian show and most prominently after his last Venice gig, even history itself stands as an undeniable statement of such logic).

Let’s therefore look at how and why Hirst’s career took such a turn (and why a lot of contemporary art will face the same music eventually):

Let’s start with why it failed, because his why was actually interlaced with what interests us the most — purpose. Damien Hirst’s work does not have any purpose, but what is even more problematic than that, it had no capability to ever have a purpose — at least not in the usual sense of how artworks become integrated into society.

While nothing really has purpose on its own, things achieve purpose because people project function upon them. If done individually, such a mechanism produces singular tools, like hammers, spears and axes, and if done communally (meaning by a group of likeminded people), such mechanisms create systems.

These systems are more or less just collections of particular tools and their interrelations, that, exactly because of these interrelations, produce much more complex and profound meanings and usage scenarios, than if the tools weren’t part of a singular system (think Gestalt theory) .

Simply put, the fax machine when it was invented was useless, just like the phone was useless, because such a tool’s only purpose was to connect to other similar tools. If you’re the only guy or gal with a fax machine, it just doesn’t make sense to have one. You need others to have it too, and only by a myriad of other fax machines in operation does you own fax machine become a valuable asset — the more fax machines there are, the more valuable yours is.

And it’s similar with art, too. A painting is only as valuable (in monetary and historical/cultural terms) as the amount of people that share the belief of it being valuable.

You can also think of the amusing joke that used to circulate the internet (and probably still does in some places), where a distinction between religion and clinical insanity is drawn by comparing how many other people also believe and can communicate with an imaginary man, living in the sky. If you’re the only one one, you’re most likely crazy and should be hospitalised, but if it’s thousands or even hundreds of thousands of people, well, then it’s OK, because it’s a religion.

But I don’t wish to press any buttons here, religion has its place in society (take it from a no-nonsense atheist).

But to get back to our example about Hirst; his works, while incredibly amusing, profoundly shocking in their nature and extremely well done, did lack one important part — a perpetual common ground amongst the art goers that saw them.

Without it, they would (and did) vanish into oblivion, because if a work of art does not possess the ability to latch-on to a particular aspect of its contemporary cultural context (or in hindsight the same context, but viewed in retrospect), the work cannot hope to stay significant after the initial shock has lingered and the magician turning the knobs and leavers behind the green curtain gets outed by the public.

To propose a more general example, imagine a portrait painter of the 18th century — anyone really, it doesn’t matter — because our hypothetical (or real) portraitist will be of the “crowd pleasing” verity, meaning his or her (but let’s not kid ourselves, it’s the 18th century, it’s his) art will most not be created to embody any deeper meaning or message, apart form the obvious goal of portraying his commissioners in the best manner possible.

Such works will most likely be shunned by his contemporaries and the only possibility of ever attaining significance in the grander scheme of things will be if after let’s say one hundred years or so, historians establish our crowd-pleasing artist’s era as a time of empty shenanigans and meaningless debauchery.

In the grand image created, his work might become a prominent example of his time, because the merit upon which quality has been decided has changed for the usual “how much impact does any particular thing or person have on its society” to “how much of a particular thing or person is (or was) present in society” — to say differently, quality has morphed into quantity.

And this phase of understanding Hirst’s body of work is still to come, as much more time has to pass for the collective thought to become detached from what has been in the context of what is now, to notice and propose such an understanding of art (and everything else we produce).

But the gist of the starting remark was that art has no purpose, only consequences, so let’s explore how that fits into everything we’ve talked about so far.

Art — like everything we create to be part of our society — has purpose, because everything that is observed intently by a being ultimately has some purpose.

Even if just a tiny, insignificant one, like the purpose of a pebble that was moulded by millions of years of environmental change and turmoil, only to be tossed into a lake by a child at one time in its existence.

It’s really the system in which art is exhibited that helps it attain some form of purpose; as we’ve stated, for anything to have “a purpose”, it first has to be noticed, and with an ineffable amount of things floating in the universe, noticing any particular thing is quite the statistical miracle.

Galleries (and museums) help here, because they serve as undeniable locations where art and art-like objects can be found. After any object has been placed inside a gallery or museum, it kinda becomes art — if nothing else, it gets a chance to be scrutinised by members of the inner sanctum of any particular art society (or even the whole art world if we’re talking mega-exhibitions).

The way such progressions form is by first attaining the status of “maybe it’s art”, then evolving to “yep, it’s art” and sometimes to “magnificent art”. In rare cases, a work will even become “the best of its time”!

Here’s a rough draft of how that happens:

The art-like objects can usually be found in galleries (especially lower tier ones). Because they are located inside of the gallery (sometimes they can also be found outside), they get the status of “maybe it’s art”. After the show opens, they are judged primarily by a smaller group of people, and if they pass, they are given the “yep, it’s art” stamp of approval — albeit a tiny stamp to be honest.

But the journey doesn’t just end there, now, if a person of higher status and stature finds them particularly interesting, they might get another chance at a bigger gallery and for a larger, more important crowd (usually they judge how well they can be incorporated into contemporary society in the context of not only the “now”, but also the past and sometimes even the future).

If they pass that part too, they might become “good art” or “magnificent art” and if eventually they end up in any permanent museum collections, they attain the label of “certainty” and such artistic objects usually go on to become “the best of their time”— that’s why artist’s works grow more important if they become part of any museum’s permanent collection.

But, all of this is still only talking about purpose though, there is still no sign of consequence. My personal take on why this is so, is because the consequence part is only true at the initial phase of the artistic process — when we are creating art — and we haven’t been talking about that at all.

We rarely even see that part of the artistic process, it we’re being honest! The problem is, that at the end of a long painting session or after the completion of a sculpture, the status of the finished object transforms from personal and intimate exploration of self, into a public trace of the process that has unfolded.

This of course doesn’t ring exactly true for performance art, happenings and the like, where the process of personal exploration itself becomes the literal (and ephemeral) trace — the artwork — but regardless if anything you create has a physical body in some way or another or if it’s just a fleeting moment in time, it’s all the same as far as questions of purpose and consequence are concerned.

The process of creation bears as its consequence the trace; that’s the art work. This is the intimate part of creation, the part that no-one can really explain away by saying “You did it, because of this or that.”

Its existence is not a consequence of any particular concept or desire, it is a consequence of being. This is the place where no-one can judge a good or bad expression, what matters is that whatever it is that needs to go out is actually expressed, and that it’s done so fully and without constraints.

This is the space where play happens, where we let go and enter into a state of just being.

But after playtime is over, after we regain full consciousness and contextualise ourselves again in the grander scheme of society, time and space, our creations, the traces of our free expression can become imbued with purpose, but only if we so desire. If we do, we present them to the public and insert them into the system that we call “The Art World” (though sadly it’s now more or less referred to as “The Art Market”).

If they appreciate our creation and we have the right combination of good timing and luck, our creations beget purpose, because people create it because of them and project it onto them. If not, they stay consequences, consequences of pure will, determination and the ability to let go and synchronise with the moment.

In either case, it’s always a combination of courage, skill and craft. Without courage, artisans create empty shells, without skill and craft, artists create bollocks. But in the middle, there lays the promised land of not only appreciation and monetary independence, but also of a life fully lived.

from Surviving Art https://ift.tt/2LMGyXX via IFTTT

#artist life #contemporary art #surviving art #make art everyday #blog

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aracecvliwest · 6 years

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Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

A few years ago, a former boss of mine emailed me out of the blue and asked for a resource that would help him and his colleagues organize information more effectively. Like a dutiful friend, I sent him links to a few articles and the names of some professional writing books. And I qualified my answer with that dreaded disclaimer: “Advice varies widely depending on the situation.” Implication: “You’ll just have to figure out what works best for you. So, good luck!”

In retrospect, I could have given him a better answer. Much like the gestalt principles of design that underpin so much of what designers do, there are foundational principles and patterns of organization that are relevant to any professional who must convey technical information in writing, and you can adapt these concepts to bring order out of chaos whether or not you’re a full-time writer.

Recognize the primary goals: comprehension and performance

Not long after I wrote my response, I revisited a book I’d read in college: Technical Editing, by Carolyn D. Rude. In my role as a technical writer, I reference the book every now and then for practical advice on revising software documentation. This time, as I reviewed the chapter on organization, I realized that Rude explained the high-level goals and principles better than any other author I’d read up to that point.

In short, she says that whether you are outlining a procedure, describing a product, or announcing a cool new feature, a huge amount of writing in the workplace is aimed at comprehension (here’s what X is and why you should care) and performance (here’s how to do X). She then suggests that editors choose from two broad kinds of order to support these goals: content-based order and task-based order. The first refers to structures that guide readers from major sections to more detailed sections to facilitate top-down learning; the second refers to structures of actions that readers need to carry out. Content-based orders typically start with nouns, whereas task-based orders typically begin with verbs.

Content-Based Order Example

Product Overview

Introduction

Features

Feature 1

Feature 2

Feature n

Contact

Support

Task-Based Order Example

User Guide (WordPress)

Update your title and tagline

Pick a theme you love

Add a header or background

Add a site icon

Add a widget

Of course, not all writing situations fall neatly into these buckets. If you were to visit Atlassian’s online help content, you would see a hybrid of content-based topics at the first level and task-based topics within them. The point is that as you begin to think about your organization, you should ask yourself:

Which of the major goals of organization (comprehension or performance) am I trying to achieve?

And which broad kind of order will help me best achieve those goals?

This is still pretty abstract, so let’s consider the other principles from Carolyn Rude, but with a focus on how a writer rather than an editor should approach the task of organization.1

Steal like an organizer: follow pre-established document structures

In his book Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon argues that smart artists don’t actually create anything new but rather collect inspiring ideas from specific role models, and produce work that is profoundly shaped by them.

“If we’re free from the burden of trying to be completely original,” he writes, “we can stop trying to make something out of nothing, and we can embrace influence instead of running away from it.”

The same principle applies to the art of organization. To “steal like an organizer” means to look at what other people have written and to identify and follow pre-established structures that may apply to your situation. Doing so not only saves time and effort but also forces you to remember that your audience may already expect a particular pattern—and experience cognitive dissonance if they don’t get it.

You are probably familiar with more pre-established structures than you think. News reports follow the inverted pyramid. Research reports often adhere to some form of the IMRAD structure (Introduction, Methodology, Results, and Discussion). Instruction manuals typically have an introductory section followed by tasks grouped according to the typical sequence a user would need to follow. Even troubleshooting articles tend to have a standard structure of Problem, Cause, and Solution.

All this may sound like common sense, and yet many writers entirely skip this process of adapting pre-made structures. I can understand the impulse. When you face a blank screen, it feels simpler to capture the raw notes and organize it all later. That approach can certainly help you get into the flow, but it may also result in an ad hoc structure that fails to serve readers who are less familiar with your material.

Instead, when you begin the writing process, start by researching available templates or pre-made structures that could support your situation. Standard word processors and content management systems already contain some good templates, and it’s easy to search for others online. Your fellow writers and designers are also good resources. If you’re contributing to a series of documents at your organization, you should get familiar with the structure of that series and learn how to work within it. Or you can do some benchmarking and steal some ideas from how other companies structure similar content.

My team once had to do our own stealing for a major project that affected about half our company. We needed to come up with a repeatable structure for standard operating procedures (SOPs) that any employee could use to document a set of tasks. Knowing SOPs to be a well-established genre, we found several recommended structures online and in books, and came up with a list of common elements. We then decided which ones to steal and arranged them into a sequence that best suited our audience. We made out like bandits.

Structural SOP Elements We Found Our Assessment Overview Steal Roles Involved Steal Dependencies Steal Estimated Level of Effort Nah, too hard to calculate and maintain. Process Diagram Meh, kind of redundant, not to mention a lot of work. No thanks. Tasks Steal Task n Steal Task n Introduction Steal Task n Responsibility Steal Task n Steps Steal See Also Steal

But what if there is no pre-established pattern? Or what if a pattern exists, but it’s either too simple or too complex for what you’re trying to accomplish? Or what if it’s not as user-friendly as you would like?

There may indeed be cases where you need to develop a mostly customized structure, which can be daunting. But fear not! That’s where the other principles of organization come in.

Anticipate your readers’ questions (and maybe even talk to them)

Recently I had an extremely frustrating user experience. While consulting some documentation to learn about a new process, I encountered a series of web pages that gave no introduction and dove straight into undefined jargon and acronyms that I had never heard of. When I visited related pages to get more context, I found the same problem. There was no background information for a newbie like me. The writers failed in this case to anticipate my questions and instead assumed a great deal of prior knowledge.

Don’t make this mistake when you design your structure. Like a journalist, you need to answer the who, what, where, when, how, and why of your content, and then incorporate the answers in your structure. Anticipate common questions, such as “What is this? Where do I start? What must I know? What must I do?” This sort of critical reflection is all the more important when organizing web content, because users will almost certainly enter and exit your pages in nonlinear, unpredictable ways.

If possible, you should also meet with your readers, and gather information about what would best serve them. One simple technique you could try is to create a knowledge map, an annotated matrix of sorts that my team once built after asking various teams about their information priorities. On the left axis, we listed categories of information that we thought each team needed. Along the top axis, we listed a column for each team. We then gave team representatives a chance to rank each category and add custom categories we hadn’t included. (You can learn more about the process we followed in this video presentation.)

A knowledge map my team created after asking other teams which categories of information were most important to them.

The weakness of this approach is that it doesn’t reveal information that your audience doesn’t know how to articulate. To fill in this gap, I recommend running a few informal usability tests. But if you don’t have the time for that, building a knowledge map is better than not meeting with your readers at all, because it will help you discover structural ideas you hadn’t considered. Our knowledge map revealed multiple categories that were required across almost all teams—which, in turn, suggested a particular hierarchy and sequence to weave into our design.

Go from general to specific, familiar to new

People tend to learn and digest information best by going from general to specific, and familiar to new. By remembering this principle, which is articulated in the schema theory of learning, you can better conceptualize the structure you’re building. What are the foundational concepts of your content? They should appear in your introductory sections. What are the umbrella categories under which more detailed categories fall? The answer should determine which headings belong at the top and subordinate levels of your hierarchy. What you want to avoid is presenting new ideas that don’t flow logically from the foundational concepts and expectations that your readers bring to the table.

Consider the wikiHow article “How to Create a Dungeons and Dragons Character.” It begins by defining what Dungeons and Dragons is and explaining why you need to create a character before you can start playing the game.

Writers at wikiHow help readers learn by starting with general concepts before moving on to specifics.

The next section, “Part 1: Establishing the Basics,” guides the reader into subsequent foundational steps, such as deciding which version of the game to follow and printing out a character sheet. Later sections (“Selecting a gender and race,” “Choosing a class,” and “Calculating ability scores”) expand on these concepts to introduce more specific, unfamiliar ideas in an incremental fashion, leading readers up a gentle ramp into new territory.

Use conventional patterns to match structure to meaning

Within the general-to-specific/familiar-to-new framework, you can apply additional patterns of organization that virtually all humans understand. Whereas the pre-established document structures above are usually constructed for particular use cases or genres, other conventional patterns match more general mental models (or “schemas,” as the schema theory so elegantly puts it) that we use to make sense of the world. These patterns include chronological, spatial, comparison-contrast, cause-effect, and order of importance.

Chronological

The chronological pattern reveals time or sequence. It’s appropriate for things like instructions, process flows, progress reports, and checklists. In the case of instructions, the order of tasks on a page often implies (or explicitly states) the “proper” or most common sequence for a user to follow. The wikiHow article above, for example, offers a recommended sequence of tasks for beginner players. In the case of progress reports, the sections may be ordered according to the periods of time in which work was done, as in this sample outline from the book Reporting Technical Information, by Kenneth W. Houp et al.:

Beginning

Introduction

Summary of work completed

Middle

Work completed

Period 1 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Period 2 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Work remaining

Period 3 (or remaining periods)

Description of work to be done

Expected cost

End

Evaluation of work in this period

Conclusions and recommendations

The principles of organization listed in this article are in fact another example of the chronological pattern. As Carolyn Rude points out in her book, the principles are arranged as a sort of methodology to follow. Try starting at the top of the list and work your way down. You may find it to be a useful way to produce order out of the chaos before you.

Spatial

The spatial pattern refers to top-to-bottom, left-to-right structures of organization. This is a good pattern if you need to describe the components of an interface or a physical object.

Take a look at the neighbor comparison graph below, which is derived from a sample energy efficiency solution offered by Oracle Utilities. Customers who see this graph would most likely view it from top to bottom and left to right.

A neighbor comparison graph that shows a customer how they compare with their neighbors in terms of energy efficiency.

A detailed description of this feature would then describe each component in that same order. Here’s a sample outline:

Feature name

Title

Bar chart

Efficient neighbors

You

Average neighbors

Date range

Performance insight

Great

Good

Using more than average

Energy use insight

Comparison details (“You’re compared with 10 homes within 6 miles …”)

Comparison-contrast

The comparison-contrast pattern helps users weigh options. It’s useful when reporting the pros and cons of different decisions or comparing the attributes of two or more products or features. You see it often when you shop online and need to compare features and prices. It’s also a common pattern for feasibility studies or investigations that list options along with upsides and downsides.

Cause-effect

The cause-effect pattern shows relationships between actions and reactions. Writers often use it for things like troubleshooting articles, medical diagnoses, retrospectives, and root cause analyses. You can move from effect to cause, or cause to effect, but you should stick to one direction and use it consistently. For example, the cold and flu pages at Drugs.com follow a standard cause-effect pattern that incorporates logical follow-up sections such as “Prevention” and “Treatment”:

What Is It? (This section defines the illness and describes possible “causes.”)

Symptoms (This section goes into the “effects” of the illness.)

Diagnosis

Expected Duration

Prevention

Treatment

When to Call a Professional

Prognosis

For another example, see the “Use parallel structure for parallel sections” section below, which shows what a software troubleshooting article might look like.

Order of importance

The order of importance pattern organizes sections and subsections of content according to priority or significance. It is common in announcements, marketing brochures, release notes, advice articles, and FAQs.

The order of importance pattern is perhaps the trickiest one to get right. As Carolyn Rude says, it’s not always clear what the most important information is. What should come in the beginning, middle, and end? Who decides? The answers will vary according to the author, audience, and purpose.

When writing release notes, for example, my team often debates which software update should come first, because we know that the decision will underscore the significance of that update relative to the others. FAQs by definition are focused on which questions are most common and thus most important, but the exact order will depend on what you perceive as being the most frequent or the most important for readers to know. (If you are considering writing FAQs, I recommend this great advice from technical writer Lisa Wright.)

Other common patterns

Alphabetical order is a common pattern that Rude doesn’t mention in detail but that you may find helpful for your situation. To use this pattern, you would simply list sections or headings based on the first letter of the first word of the heading. For example, alphabetical order is used frequently to list API methods in API documentation sites such as those for Flickr, Twitter, and Java. It is also common in glossaries, indexes, and encyclopedic reference materials where each entry is more or less given equal footing. The downside of this pattern is that the most important information for your audience may not appear in a prominent, findable location. Still, it is useful if you have a large and diverse set of content that defies simple hierarchies and is referenced in a non-linear, piecemeal fashion.

Group related material

Take a look at the lists below. Which do you find easier to scan and digest?

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

Part 1: Establishing the Basics

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Part 2: Calculating Ability Scores

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Part 3: Equipping Skills, Feats, Weapons, and Armor

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Part 4: Finishing Your Character

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

(Source: wikiHow: How to Create a Dungeons and Dragons Character.)

If you chose the second list, that is probably because the writers relied on a widely used organizational technique: grouping.

Grouping is the process of identifying meaningful categories of information and putting information within those categories to aid reader comprehension. Grouping is especially helpful when you have a long, seemingly random list of information that could benefit from an extra layer of logical order. An added benefit of grouping is that it may reveal where you have gaps in your content or where you have mingled types of content that don’t really belong together.

To group information effectively, first analyze your content and identify the discrete chunks of information you need to convey. Then tease out which chunks fall within similar conceptual buckets, and determine what intuitive headings or labels you can assign to those buckets. Writers do this when creating major and minor sections within a book or printed document. For online content, grouping is typically done at the level of articles or topics within a web-based system, such as a wiki or knowledge base. The Gmail Help Center, for example, groups topics within categories like..

https://ift.tt/2KygsrA

#Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

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jeanshesallenberger · 6 years

Text

Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

Recognize the primary goals: comprehension and performance

Content-Based Order Example

Product Overview

Introduction

Features

Feature 1

Feature 2

Feature n

Contact

Support

Task-Based Order Example

User Guide (WordPress)

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Add a header or background

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Which of the major goals of organization (comprehension or performance) am I trying to achieve?

And which broad kind of order will help me best achieve those goals?

This is still pretty abstract, so let’s consider the other principles from Carolyn Rude, but with a focus on how a writer rather than an editor should approach the task of organization.1

Steal like an organizer: follow pre-established document structures

There may indeed be cases where you need to develop a mostly customized structure, which can be daunting. But fear not! That’s where the other principles of organization come in.

Anticipate your readers’ questions (and maybe even talk to them)

A knowledge map my team created after asking other teams which categories of information were most important to them.

Go from general to specific, familiar to new

Writers at wikiHow help readers learn by starting with general concepts before moving on to specifics.

Use conventional patterns to match structure to meaning

Chronological

Beginning

Introduction

Summary of work completed

Middle

Work completed

Period 1 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Period 2 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Work remaining

Period 3 (or remaining periods)

Description of work to be done

Expected cost

End

Evaluation of work in this period

Conclusions and recommendations

Spatial

The spatial pattern refers to top-to-bottom, left-to-right structures of organization. This is a good pattern if you need to describe the components of an interface or a physical object.

A neighbor comparison graph that shows a customer how they compare with their neighbors in terms of energy efficiency.

A detailed description of this feature would then describe each component in that same order. Here’s a sample outline:

Feature name

Title

Bar chart

Efficient neighbors

You

Average neighbors

Date range

Performance insight

Great

Good

Using more than average

Energy use insight

Comparison details (“You’re compared with 10 homes within 6 miles …”)

Comparison-contrast

Cause-effect

What Is It? (This section defines the illness and describes possible “causes.”)

Symptoms (This section goes into the “effects” of the illness.)

Diagnosis

Expected Duration

Prevention

Treatment

When to Call a Professional

Prognosis

For another example, see the “Use parallel structure for parallel sections” section below, which shows what a software troubleshooting article might look like.

Order of importance

Other common patterns

Group related material

Take a look at the lists below. Which do you find easier to scan and digest?

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

Part 1: Establishing the Basics

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Part 2: Calculating Ability Scores

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Part 3: Equipping Skills, Feats, Weapons, and Armor

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Part 4: Finishing Your Character

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

(Source: wikiHow: How to Create a Dungeons and Dragons Character.)

If you chose the second list, that is probably because the writers relied on a widely used organizational technique: grouping.

https://ift.tt/2KygsrA

#Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

0 notes

pattersondonaldblk5 · 6 years

Text

Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

Recognize the primary goals: comprehension and performance

Content-Based Order Example

Product Overview

Introduction

Features

Feature 1

Feature 2

Feature n

Contact

Support

Task-Based Order Example

User Guide (WordPress)

Update your title and tagline

Pick a theme you love

Add a header or background

Add a site icon

Add a widget

Which of the major goals of organization (comprehension or performance) am I trying to achieve?

And which broad kind of order will help me best achieve those goals?

This is still pretty abstract, so let’s consider the other principles from Carolyn Rude, but with a focus on how a writer rather than an editor should approach the task of organization.1

Steal like an organizer: follow pre-established document structures

There may indeed be cases where you need to develop a mostly customized structure, which can be daunting. But fear not! That’s where the other principles of organization come in.

Anticipate your readers’ questions (and maybe even talk to them)

A knowledge map my team created after asking other teams which categories of information were most important to them.

Go from general to specific, familiar to new

Writers at wikiHow help readers learn by starting with general concepts before moving on to specifics.

Use conventional patterns to match structure to meaning

Chronological

Beginning

Introduction

Summary of work completed

Middle

Work completed

Period 1 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Period 2 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Work remaining

Period 3 (or remaining periods)

Description of work to be done

Expected cost

End

Evaluation of work in this period

Conclusions and recommendations

Spatial

The spatial pattern refers to top-to-bottom, left-to-right structures of organization. This is a good pattern if you need to describe the components of an interface or a physical object.

A neighbor comparison graph that shows a customer how they compare with their neighbors in terms of energy efficiency.

A detailed description of this feature would then describe each component in that same order. Here’s a sample outline:

Feature name

Title

Bar chart

Efficient neighbors

You

Average neighbors

Date range

Performance insight

Great

Good

Using more than average

Energy use insight

Comparison details (“You’re compared with 10 homes within 6 miles …”)

Comparison-contrast

Cause-effect

What Is It? (This section defines the illness and describes possible “causes.”)

Symptoms (This section goes into the “effects” of the illness.)

Diagnosis

Expected Duration

Prevention

Treatment

When to Call a Professional

Prognosis

For another example, see the “Use parallel structure for parallel sections” section below, which shows what a software troubleshooting article might look like.

Order of importance

Other common patterns

Group related material

Take a look at the lists below. Which do you find easier to scan and digest?

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

Part 1: Establishing the Basics

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Part 2: Calculating Ability Scores

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Part 3: Equipping Skills, Feats, Weapons, and Armor

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Part 4: Finishing Your Character

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

(Source: wikiHow: How to Create a Dungeons and Dragons Character.)

If you chose the second list, that is probably because the writers relied on a widely used organizational technique: grouping.

https://ift.tt/2KygsrA

#Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

0 notes

joannlyfgnch · 6 years

Text

Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

Recognize the primary goals: comprehension and performance

Content-Based Order Example

Product Overview

Introduction

Features

Feature 1

Feature 2

Feature n

Contact

Support

Task-Based Order Example

User Guide (WordPress)

Update your title and tagline

Pick a theme you love

Add a header or background

Add a site icon

Add a widget

Which of the major goals of organization (comprehension or performance) am I trying to achieve?

And which broad kind of order will help me best achieve those goals?

This is still pretty abstract, so let’s consider the other principles from Carolyn Rude, but with a focus on how a writer rather than an editor should approach the task of organization.1

Steal like an organizer: follow pre-established document structures

There may indeed be cases where you need to develop a mostly customized structure, which can be daunting. But fear not! That’s where the other principles of organization come in.

Anticipate your readers’ questions (and maybe even talk to them)

A knowledge map my team created after asking other teams which categories of information were most important to them.

Go from general to specific, familiar to new

Writers at wikiHow help readers learn by starting with general concepts before moving on to specifics.

Use conventional patterns to match structure to meaning

Chronological

Beginning

Introduction

Summary of work completed

Middle

Work completed

Period 1 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Period 2 (beginning and end dates)

Description

Cost

Work remaining

Period 3 (or remaining periods)

Description of work to be done

Expected cost

End

Evaluation of work in this period

Conclusions and recommendations

Spatial

The spatial pattern refers to top-to-bottom, left-to-right structures of organization. This is a good pattern if you need to describe the components of an interface or a physical object.

A neighbor comparison graph that shows a customer how they compare with their neighbors in terms of energy efficiency.

A detailed description of this feature would then describe each component in that same order. Here’s a sample outline:

Feature name

Title

Bar chart

Efficient neighbors

You

Average neighbors

Date range

Performance insight

Great

Good

Using more than average

Energy use insight

Comparison details (“You’re compared with 10 homes within 6 miles …”)

Comparison-contrast

Cause-effect

What Is It? (This section defines the illness and describes possible “causes.”)

Symptoms (This section goes into the “effects” of the illness.)

Diagnosis

Expected Duration

Prevention

Treatment

When to Call a Professional

Prognosis

For another example, see the “Use parallel structure for parallel sections” section below, which shows what a software troubleshooting article might look like.

Order of importance

Other common patterns

Group related material

Take a look at the lists below. Which do you find easier to scan and digest?

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

Part 1: Establishing the Basics

Settle on a version of D&D.

Print a character sheet, if desired.

Select a gender and race.

Choose a class.

Name your character.

Part 2: Calculating Ability Scores

Identify the main attributes of your character.

Roll for ability scores.

Assign the six recorded numbers to the six main attributes.

Use the “Point Buy” system, alternatively.

Generate random ability scores online.

Record the modifier for each ability.

Part 3: Equipping Skills, Feats, Weapons, and Armor

Select skills for your character.

List your character’s feats.

Roll for your starting gold.

Equip your character with items.

Fill in armor class and combat bonuses.

Part 4: Finishing Your Character

Paint a picture of your character.

Determine the alignment of your character.

Play your character in a campaign.

(Source: wikiHow: How to Create a Dungeons and Dragons Character.)

If you chose the second list, that is probably because the writers relied on a widely used organizational technique: grouping.

https://ift.tt/2KygsrA

#Order Out of Chaos: Patterns of Organization for Writing on the Job

0 notes