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#i know it only got one update and then got quiet. but i have not forgotten about it i promise. i am still obsessed
adrift-in-thyme · 3 months
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I need to think about this more when I’m not half-asleep and running on excitement alone but…
I’m still not so sure Twi’s out of the woods yet
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nouveaumoon · 3 months
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:) what characters are going to show up in the comic!!!
hmmm well of course in the abbot's story, there will be Vasilka (in the current script, not until the end). but before then, there will be some other familiar faces that I don't want to give away just yet! if you know the abbot's story in the module, you probably already know, haha 🙆‍♂️
as for characters getting their own books... we will have to see. i have plans for Baba Lysaga and Madam Eva for sure, and I'm debating on a Patrina book (she only has a bit going on in canon, and in an anthology meant to be exploring things set up by the module, it would feel wrong to explore too much built on speculation. I think the story she has going on is very much worth exploring since it has maaaajor implications for the module and for Strahd specifically! but it's hard to do that without the speculation involved in filling in some pretty big gaps. when the time comes, i'll probably ask for people's feelings on this, and on what level of canon they would like the comic to stick to vs headcanon. depending on how much speculative story people are willing to accept, Rahadin and Kasimir and Patrina would all be combined to one given how intertwined i like to make them.)
i have plans to do shorter ones for characters that have less going on but that still could use maybe ten or forty pages to build some understanding for their situations -- like Izek, the hag coven, and Kolyan Indirovich namely. similarly to the speculation situation with patrina, if people are okay with heavy headcanon, then i have a Saint Markovia one i would like to make as well. i might do these between the bigger comics as an intermission of sorts!
Strahd will be showing up since this is his world and we're all just living in it, but he will not be getting a book.
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seventh-district · 8 months
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oh my god i can’t decide what to do with my time today
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#video stuff#it’s Sunday so i need to log into Genshin and do my weeklies and i also need to grind for primos to yoink Yelan’s C1 before Tuesday#but i also need to record that so it’ll have to be done later once the house is quiet but i also need to record Lyney’s story quest but#then ​i also want to record Kaeya’s hangout but i also need to see what events are ending soon but i also need to do other non game stuff#like i need to finish going thru my backlog of likes on here and i need to answer asks and i need to work on drafted posts#and i have GOT to start working on ES Ch.4 to get that up by my self-imposed deadline soon but i’m recording that so i can only work on it#early in the mornings or late in the evenings but i also wanna finish this one-shot i’m working on for Dew and get it up on here soon#and that’s easier cause i’m not recording it but if i work on it today that’s not the best use of my time when it’s SUNDAY so it’s GENSHIN#DAY but i don’t FEEL like playing genshin rn i wanna WRITE ugh#but i’ve also got Ao3 comments awaiting a reply and i need to get a few things updated over there and i wanna work on This Is Unconditional#but i don’t have the TIME for that right now and i’ve got a bunch of messages that need replying to and a many hours of videos to edit#and i slept bad bc Nightmares so i just wanna eat and take a nap but that’s such a waste of time and uuuuugh idk man#So Many Creative Endeavors So Little Time#*collapses onto the floor in a frustrated heap*#okay. deep breath. i think. i’m gonna go work on banging out the rest of Hold On to Something bc that’s nearly fully written anyways#and i am Dying to get it out of my system bc Ghost Band fixation u know#i at least wanna get the draft done. i’ll edit/post it another day#then i’ll probably hop on genshin for a bit and do the bare minimum (i only need like 15 more pulls worth so even if i don’t grind and have#to swipe its nbd) and then i’ll hopefully be able to record the first writing session for ES ch.4 later this evening!!!#‘cause good god i wanna get that fic back into production. i miss working on it it’s just so hard to get started again#okay enough rambling. gonna go make Bullet’s lunch and get myself some lemonade. then i shall work
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Hey uh I just found this out and I'm FURIOUS but miami zoo has a kiwi bird. Which is fine if they were doing what we do here and keeping it in a darkened enclosure with clear notices to be quiet and not bang on the glass. But instead this shy, solitary nocturnal bird is being kept in broad daylight and people are being allowed to pet it. NZ twitter is out for blood right now. https://twitter.com/zoomiami/status/1637864741954637824
…fucking yikes.
The kiwi I’ve seen in other AZA zoos have been kept according to the practices you describe: dark exhibit on a flipped light cycle, in a signed quiet area. What it looks like Zoo Miami is doing is… not good.
Here’s the link to their tweet with a video about the encounter (so it’ll embed):
The video shows a kiwi out of its exhibit: on a table in what looks like a back room with bright overhead fluorescent lighting. The kiwi has no room to move around and no place to hide as people pet it and reach around it to take selfies.
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What do you pay to bother the kiwi four days a week - a species which in NZ is apparently illegal to touch without permission from the Department of Conservation? $25.
Obviously it just started and I don’t know anything more about it than what’s online, but even so, this is such a bad look for an AZA zoo, holy shit. I know a bunch of new ambassador animal rules just got promulgated… I wonder if this meets them. I’ll have to go do some reading. Also, USDA is now promulgating new bird rules (it didn’t regulate birds until just recently, only mammals) so this will also have to pass their muster soon.
The guy who runs Miami’s PR, and manages the animal media like the birth of their first kiwi chick in 2019, is known for big media stunts. I’m not surprised by this but I don’t think it’s going to go over well. There’s a lot of pressure on zoos to offer new encounters and programs to help make up for inflation and pandemic losses but this not how to do it.
I’d honestly suggest New Zealanders who are upset about this contact Zoo Miami formally (more than just on twitter) using the contact form on their website, and maybe even the AZA to express concerns about this program animal’s welfare - as well as the lack of cultural awareness at one of their accredited facilities.
Edited to add: a statement from Zoo Miami is supposed to be forthcoming tomorrow. I’ll update once we have it.
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vivwritesfics · 27 days
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Mrs Doctor Reid
Nobody knew Spencer had a wife. But they found out. Nobody knew she was pregnant, not until she walks into the BAU sporting a sizeable bump.
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Season 4 Reid
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Nobody on the team knew that Spencer Reid had a wife. Spencer Reid, the youngest member of the team, the resident genuis. He had a wife. And nobody knew. (Well, JJ knew, but she wasn't about to spill his secrets).
Before he had joined the BAU, Spencer had been engaged. They'd gotten married after his first year with the team, but neither of them wore a ring on their finger. She wore it around her neck and he carried it with him, fingerings it in the privacy of his hotel room.
Spencer told JJ. He had to tell somebody, just in case something happened to him. JJ was more than happy to keep her a secret for him. And, once she met Will, she understood why he wanted to keep her secret, keep her to himself.
Morgan was the first to find out. The case was a pickup artist, an unsub that was patrolling clubs to pick up women and murder them.
Morgan and Reid had been in the clubs, handing out flyers to give to the potentially vulnerable women. When Spencer teased Morgan for getting a lack of phone numbers, he challenged him. So, Spencer used magic to impress the girl at the bar. "Well, if you see anything, call me," he'd said with his usual awkward smile.
The awkward smile his wife loved.
"And, if I don't see anything?" She asked, obviously flirting with him. "Can I still call you?"
Again, Spencer wore that smile. "Uh, my wife would prefer it if you only called if you saw anything."
When Spencer turned around, he saw the expression drop from Morgan's face. "Reid, you're married?" He asked, and Spencer nodded. "I'm so sorry, man. I didn't know."
"Nobody did," Spencer replied.
When the team found out, they felt incredibly guilty. They couldn't help but think back to Tobias Hankel and when Reid got kidnapped. She had no idea. His wife must have been sat in their apartment, alone and worried.
But JJ smoothed things out, assured them that Reid's wife was kept updated while Spencer was kidnapped. JJ told her what she needed to know and kept her calm.
But now they'd been married for four years. Spencer started wearing his ring after the team found out. He called her in front of the others while they were working on a case.
The team was so happy their resident genius was in love.
They knew about his wife, about the love of his life, but they didn't know about the baby.
Kids was always on the cards, but they had waited. Spencer's career was taking off when they got married and, with how often he was away, it didn't feel right.
But they weren't careful. It wasn't like Doctor Reid to not be careful like that. She was on birth control and there was always condoms in top drawer next to their bed.
But they slipped up just once. She'd forgotten to take her pill and hadn't noticed (Spencer was good with gently reminding her when he could. This hadn't been one of those times), and Spencer hadn't reached for a condom.
Neither of them quite realised they weren't being safe. Not until she realised there was an odd number of pills in the packet at the end of the day. She'd taken both pills, the number should have been even.
But she didn't panic. Didn't mention anything to Spencer. What was the chance she was actually pregnant? She kept things quiet until the morning sickness started. Until she took a test, and then another, and then another. When they all came back positive, she called Spencer.
She didn't normally call Spencer while he was on a case. He was busy, she waited for him to call her in the evenings, when he was in the hotel room and he wanted to hear about her day. Spencer couldn't help but assume that something was wrong.
Far from it. Everything was perfect. The minute Spencer got home he pulled her into his arms, his face in her hair. "I love you," he whispered again and again and again.
Spencer didn't tell the team. Didn't want them to worry while he was on cases.
She became, admittedly, a little clingy when she began showing. Not to the extreme of stopping him from going on cases, but, whenever he was home, she was attached to him.
And Spencer couldn't say no to his wife. She was craving pizza? He was getting pizza. She wanted him to read to her? He was bringing in a selection of books, sitting her on the sofa and rubbing her swollen feet with one hand while he read.
If she wanted to bring him something to eat, he'd text her when they were landing to do paperwork.
It didn't matter the time. Mrs Doctor Reid made two sandwiches and set off for her husbands place of work.
She had met the team a couple of times before. It wasn't many, but it was enough for her to be friendly with them. With a science museum tote bag over her shoulder, she stepped out of the elevator and walked into the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit.
Morgan spotted her first. "Hey, Mrs Reid," he called, gaining the attention of the rest of the BAU. But then Morgans eyes widened. "Holy shit," he couldn't stop himself from saying.
Emily let out a gasp as she walked over. "Congratulations, Mrs Boy Wonder," she said as she hugged her. Mrs Reid hugged her back.
Hotch shouted his Congratulations through his office doorway to the happy couple. As he did so, Morgan walked over and placed his hands on Spencers' shoulders. "My man," he said quietly and let go.
With a fond smile, Spencer pushed his hair back. He grabbed his chair and wheeled it over to her. "Hi Honey," he said softly, sitting her down on the chair.
Her bag was in her lap as Spencer wheeled her over to his desk. "I missed you," she said, pushing her own fingers through his hair.
Spencer softly smiled at her. "I missed you too," he whispered as she grabbed his hand. Public displays of affection weren't Spencers thing but, for his pregnant wife, he'd do anything.
She quickly let go of him and opened her bag. "I brought sandwiches," she said as she pulled one out and passed it to Spencer. He leaned against the desk as he unwrapped it, keeping hold of it as she unwrapped the second. Once they were open, they swapped. She took the sandwich from him and he took the sandwich from her.
As they ate, they spoke. She didn't ask about the case, she never did. No, she asked about the city and whether he'd been eating well.
Spencer assured her that he had been eating well. The conversation they had was the one they normally had in the evenings, when he was on a case.
He pressed his hand to her bump for a quick second as he finished his sandwich. "I've got paperwork to finish up," he said and rested his hand on her shoulder. "Wanna sit with me while I get it done?"
She nodded her head and Spencer grabbed another chair. As he worked she kept one hand to her bump, the other holding Spencers.
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yawnderu · 2 months
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cr: @ave661
Simon wasn't a stupid man. He always knew better, knew to look between the lines even when you tried your best to be deceiving. Even then, the pure rejection you showed to your newborn baby was something not even the best actress could hide. Refusing to hold her after she was born and fully shutting down on Simon, screaming at him whenever he tried to offer any sort of help and support, only getting worse if he ever tried to approach you while holding the baby.
Post-partum depression is no joke, Simon realized after doing his own research, only then realizing just how bad it can get after accidentally stumbling on article upon article of mothers getting to the point of harming their own child. You weren't like that— Simon liked to convince himself despite the growing pit of dread in his stomach, anxiety seeping out of every pore of his body when even months later you refused to hold or interact with the baby.
It all came crashing down after he came back from deployment, the nanny holding his daughter while soothing her with calm words, doing her best to console the crying infant despite the tears falling down her cheeks when she confessed to him that you're gone.
Gone without a trace, at first. Simon wasted no time using his connections to know where you were. Laswell was the most helpful, giving him all the details of the help center you were in, yet even then, Simon didn't reach out first in fear of messing up your progress, not wanting to add more stress to your situation when you were trying to get better.
Four years. For four years, Simon's life was divided in deployments and taking care of his daughter at home, never once thinking about moving on, always asking Laswell for updates— updates she was glad to give him using her own connections, wanting to give Simon some peace of mind even if it went against the rules.
“It's okay.” Simon reassured his daughter, his long sleeves wet with cola that she spilled from her little cup. His home was the complete opposite of the absolute hell he grew up in, not allowing himself to scream, hit, or take out his frustration on the little carbon copy of himself sitting on the couch.
“'M sorry, daddy.” Her sweet voice made the corners of his lips tilt up into a smile, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head, taking off his sweater and putting it away, wasting no time on grabbing a towel to clean up the now sticky mess of coke on the table.
“It's okay, love. Jus' don't tip it, 's gonna spill.” She gave him a small salute in understanding, a cheeky grin on her lips when she saw him holding in his laughter, knowing fully well she's copying him— as usual.
The doorbell ringing got Simon's full attention, giving his daughter one last look before he went to answer. His eyes widened slightly the moment he saw your shorter figure waiting for him, purposely making yourself smaller like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs, a small folder held in your hands. You're both quiet for what seems like forever, the only sounds coming from your daughter in the living room, the TV displaying a kid's show Simon put on.
“I'm so so—” You don't even have the chance to finish your sentence before you're being pulled into a tight hug, Simon's burly arms wrapping around your body, every single second spent missing you, secretly hoping you'd come back one day crashes down on him the moment he feels your arms wrap around his waist, holding him as tight as possible, as if he'd disappear if you don't hold onto him for dear life.
“I got better.” You whisper into his ear, rubbing his back soothingly when he doesn't let go of you. Not yet— not when the love of his life is finally back after years. He plants a soft kiss on your shoulder before his face goes back to burying in the crook of your neck, taking in the familiar scent.
It takes minutes for Simon to finally let go, hesitation clear in his actions as he looked down at you, keeping one hand on your waist in silent fear of you seeping through his fingers. The folder in your hand gets his attention, giving you a questioning look before you offer it to him, managing to give him a small smile of reassurance despite all the anxiety and fear.
“My psychotherapist wrote it. It's... just a paper that shows the progress I've made from her perspective.” You stand awkwardly as he reads the document, taking in every single word written by the woman who has been helping your for four long years. You can hear your daughter giggling at the TV show, only making the anxiety in your stomach grow more by the second.
To your surprise, Simon steps out of the way to allow you into the home he created, his safe haven. Nothing changed from the last time you were here, other than toys scattered all over the place, likely from Simon being too busy bonding with his daughter to even clean.
You can see the little girl sitting on the couch as you walk closer, her brown eyes fully focused on the screen until she hears something from behind her. She's so much bigger now, looking like a tiny carbon copy of Simon, down to the little skull-patterned pajamas she was wearing.
She turns around after seeing you from the corner of her eye, her little face lighting up into a toothy grin as she jumps from the couch, sprinting towards you as fast as her little legs allow her to.
“Mommy!” You crouch down to her height out of pure instinct, almost being knocked off balance when she crashes into you, her tiny arms wrapping around your neck. The fact that Simon never stopped talking about you to her and kept your pictures warms your heart, being as delicate as possible as you hug her back.
“Y'look so pretty.” She has Simon's accent, making you let out a small laugh before looking down at her, cupping her cheek just to examine her features better.
“Thank you, sweet girl.” You're glad for the way she cuddles up to you again, not bothering to hide the tears falling down your cheeks at the sheer love displayed by the same girl you left four years ago. Your gaze drifts up to Simon, whose eyes are glossier than usual despite the fact that he's not shedding a tear. He gives you a small nod in acknowledgement, not daring to look away from the heartwarming scene in front of him.
“Daddy talks a lot about you.” She whispers into your ear, covering her mouth as if she's telling you the biggest secret ever. You giggle at the little gossiper, your warm hand running up and down the length of her hair.
“He does?” You whisper back, giving Simon a cheeky look at the admission, one of his thin eyebrows raising when he sees your daughter nod her head vigorously, giggling as she looks at Simon.
“Well, I'm sure he talks a lot about you too.” The pure forgiveness that comes from both of them drowns the guilt, if only for a short while.
“You're such a pretty princess.” Your arms wrap around her again, rocking her softly from side to side, allowing yourself to take in their love. It doesn't take long for Simon's resolve to falter, dropping to his knees and wrapping his burly arms around his girls protectively, planting a little kiss on your forehead.
Despite everything, there's no one else he'd rather spend the rest of his life with.
Dad!Ghost Masterlist
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ellecdc · 2 months
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Baaaaabe 😫
Ive been sick for the last couple days, and as always, that first day was horrible. Ive had my brain legit decide it wants to inflate bigger than my skull capacity (long story short, pregnancy 🫡) and i got to re-experience that feeling for the first 12 hours 💀
BUT i came back and i was sooo excited for your updates!! They were soo good (please tell me theres a part 2 to that angst....pls 🥺) And i love our discussions in the comments 🫶
I do have another request though if you have the time love. Another possessive!wolfstar buuuttt..... make reader Jamie's sister (twins?)!! Its troublesome enough for James to keep Sirius' hands to himself, but full moon Rem?? He's a brick wall. Like somethings happening between the 2 and Jamie is chasing reader, then she spots Rem and hides behind him. James tries to reach for her and Rem is just kinda like "???? Excuse me, thats mine. Dont touch. James Fleamont Potter. DONT. TOUCH." without even knowing whats going on. James is incredulous (because thats HIS sister) and Siri is chuckling but it looks like Rem might actually bite Jamie's hand off so he moves between them to seperate them but Rem is also like "ExCuSe YOU??? Also mine. *to siri* dont touch him. *to James* dont touch them or you might not have all your fingers when you wake up!!"
And just the repercussions of this where James isnt allowed alone with either until a couple days passed the 🌕
Hope youre looking after yourself darling 🩵
I love James' sister trope - something about it screams fluff and perhaps a little angst but just in all the best ways. I would imagine his sister to be so much like him: mischievous, funny, and full of love. Thanks for requesting!!!
poly!wolfstar x potter sister!reader
There were quite a few perks that came along with being James Potter's twin sister. One said perk was having a built-in best friend from the moment you came into the world. Another was that whilst you were attending school, you had the benefit of no one being willing to mess with you on account of the company you kept - namely, your brother and his infamous friends who called themselves The Marauders.
What being James Potter's twin sister couldn't protect you from? James Potter.
What could protect you from being James Potter's twin sister? Being the girlfriend of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.
You and James were leaving Care of Magical Creatures together, heading to meet up with Remus and Sirius near the Greenhouses when one Lily Evans walked by - graciously bestowing James the time of day for quite possibly the first time ever - when you decided that this was the perfect pranking opportunity.
You really couldn't be blamed for what happened next: it truly was a gift bestowed upon you by the great pranking gods, and who were you to deny it?
"Hello, Potter." Lily said, causing James to gasp dramatically.
"Hello, Lily! Beautiful day out today, innit?"
Lily couldn't help but snicker at the sickeningly wide grin that took over James' face.
"Oi, Jamie. I forgot to tell you: mum sent that rash cream you were asking for. She said to remind you it's only safe to put around your anus, not in it." You proclaimed loudly, pretending to read from a 'letter' your mother had sent.
The courtyard became incredibly quiet before what you recognized to be Barty Crouch Junior's laugh echoed the space, triggering the snickering of all those present.
"You are so dead!" James sneered and you didn't hesitate to take off in a sprint - knowing your brother was a mere few paces behind you.
"You slithering little snake! She finally starts coming around - are you kidding me!?" He shouted as you swerved between bodies standing in your way whilst he just barrelled right through them.
Suddenly, you saw salvation in the form of one Remus John Lupin.
Now, granted, Remus didn't always protect you from your squabbles with James. Part of the reason for that was because half of the time you sort of deserved it (much like today), and the other part was that he claimed he didn't know what proper protocol was in sibling relationships on account of him being an only child. Sirius, a brother himself, had no such qualms and always took your side.
However, you knew that the full moon was in a mere two more sleeps, meaning Remus was at his most protective (read: possessive) which did not distinguish James Potter as friend, sibling, nor pack.
Right now: James Potter was only a threat.
And, let's be honest, being James Potter's twin sister, and a girlfriend to Remus Lupin and Sirius black also meant you were mischievous as hell. So you had no trouble using this to your utmost advantage.
You squeaked in terror as you slid behind Remus' lanky frame a moment before James - the bastard - slammed into his form and all but bounced off of Remus. James was admittedly more muscular that Remus, but Remus' height and werewolf strength left him towering above James as the dumb sod picked himself up off the ground.
"What in the buggering hell is going on?" He spat at James as one of his arms wrapped behind him, shielding you from your fuming brother.
"That sneaky little witch just embarrassed me in front of Lily!" James barked, looking like he was still trying to figure out how to get around Remus in order to strangle you.
"Please," Sirius drawled as he walked over casually, "like you need any help in that department Prongs."
You tried to hide your snicker, but from Remus' glance at you through the corner of his eye, you knew he caught it.
"She told the entire courtyard I needed cream for a rash on my anus!"
Sirius doubled over in laughter and you preened when you noticed Remus let out a soft chuckle himself.
"It's not sodding funny you wanker! Lily spoke to me first today! I'm going to kill you!" James snarled, moving his attention from Sirius to you.
As James stepped forward menacingly, Remus grabbed the collar of his shirt. "Prongs, enough." He barked.
Sirius was still laughing when he moved to stand between Remus and James, releasing James' shirt from Remus' fist.
"Okay, down boy." Sirius snarked, patting James' shoulder consolingly.
"Oh, sod off." James muttered, elbowing Sirius as he moved to step away.
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding and tried to even out your breathing; lungs still burning from your run.
"You okay, dove?" Remus asked you so gently as he bent down to make eye contact with you. His face screamed love, attentiveness, and care, making you feel slightly guilty for having shoved him in the middle of your tom foolery.
"I'm fine, Moons. Sorry for causing trouble." You answered solemnly.
His face picked up slightly at your words as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "You wouldn't be you if you weren't causing trouble, love."
Your tender moment was interrupted by a yelp, causing the two of you to turn only to notice James and Sirius wrestling. James seemed to have gotten Sirius into a headlock, and the sod wasn't willing to tap out - still kicking and clawing at James in anyway he could.
"Oi!" Remus shouted as he plucked Sirius out of James' grasp and shoved him in the direction of the castle. James used his momentary distraction as an opportunity to set his sights back on you as he lunged, tackling you to the ground.
"Fuckin' hell Jamie! You weight a tonne!" You shouted, kneeing him in the gut. James doubled over and rolled onto his side in the fetal position.
You didn't even get a chance to right yourself before you were thrown over Remus' shoulder who was still shouting at Sirius to "get back to the dorm. The both of you are staying within my sights for the next foreseeable future" as you all left James with the wind knocked out of him, keeled over on the castle grounds.
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mysillycomics · 5 months
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My partner and I are moving in together this Saturday. Everything we have been working towards for almost two years is finally coming to fruition. The future is so clear and certain now. I get to be with the one I love forever. Never again do I have to say goodbye and not know when I could see them again.
A new chapter of my life, of our life, is beginning.
I have said this so many times over but thank you. Thank you all so much for every thing you have done for me, not only in regards to this but for every like, share, comment, follow, order, everything to do with mysillycomics. My life changed for the better because of all of you.
What keeps repeating in my head is the realization that we are going to be ok. My little family is going to be safe and comfortable and warm and fed and ok. I don’t have to constantly worry about Ollie’s safety and his health. Tiger Fluff will be in a nice quiet place where she won’t have to be scared anymore. We can handle whatever life throws at us because we are together. We have an incredible support system who care about us. We’re going to be ok!
A special thanks goes to everyone who donated or got something from my shop. When Ollie got evicted, all of the support we got made it so we didn’t have to worry about the cost of getting them here, just logistics, and I can’t overstate my gratitude. That was huge. I will never forget that.
I will close donations on the GoFundMe after the weekend. It will still be public to read any and all updates.
Thank you. 💜💚
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covetyou · 8 months
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sleepless
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ao3 ⋆ main masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: unprotected PIV, creampie, fingering, cumplay, pet names (baby, sweetheart, darlin’), mild praise kink, very mild dubcon (sleepy reader), bratty reader, no use of Y/N. word count: 3.5k summary: It’s been days since you last got anything resembling decent sleep. You’re exhausted, but more than that, you’re angry. Every little thing is pissing you off, and you just want to be left the fuck alone. Joel, ever the gentleman, has a solution to your sleeplessness, and your bad mood.
A/N: This was an out of body experience and I don’t know how it happened. Seriously, I stood up out of bed and wondered what the fuck I’d done. I haven’t written a single thing in an entire year (and that was for a funeral), and I have never written smut and don't know what I'm doing. So. Enjoy?
This one is for all of us who get really grouchy when tired. Or hungry. Or if the phase of the moon just isn't right. I see you honeybuns, and so does Joel.
follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future work
terrible graphics by me
“What's got your panties in a bunch?”
You were in a shit mood. It was a shitty day, and you were in a shit mood and Joel was not helping.
“Nothing.” You huff out. Totally believable.
Joel runs his tongue over his teeth, eying you. “Okay… You need to go make yourself come or somethin’?”
You slam your mug on the counter, hot tea sloshing over the edges with the force. ”No Joel, I don't need to fucking come.”
It was true. You didn’t. What you needed was to be left the fuck alone with your bad mood and misplaced rage. What you needed even more was to get some goddamn sleep.
“Right.”
“Just fuck off, Joel.” You say. And he does.
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An hour later and you still haven’t left the kitchen. You haven’t seen Joel again either - he knew better than to bother you when you were like this. He’d just piss you off more, which hardly seemed fair when he wasn’t the one to piss you off to begin with. You were the one to piss yourself off to begin with. You’d barely gotten more than a full night's sleep across 4 whole days, you were tired as hell, and the sleeplessness-induced irritation was starting to seep into every part of your day. You didn’t want to inflict your bad mood on anyone, but you would if it came to it, just to be left the fuck alone in peace and quiet.
Slamming doors as you tidy away the things you'd used that day, you continue to stomp around the kitchen. It was your mess. You'd used the coffee pot. You'd used a mug, a spoon, a plate. But it still pissed you the fuck off and you were trying to conceal the blind rage that was flowing through you.
You slam yet another door, putting a plate away - why did you use a fucking plate instead of eating over the sink - and suddenly your front is crushed against the counter, a warm, solid mass pushed against your back and strong arms boxing you in either side. Joel. You could hit him. You could fucking hit him. But you don't.
“Fuck off, Joel.” You say through gritted teeth, gripping the counter in front of you.
“When did you last sleep?” He growls in your ear. You feel his warm breath ghost the side of your face. How the fuck did he know. As if it wasn’t obvious.
You don’t answer, and he nudges a shoulder forward, momentarily pushing you more firmly against the counter to get you talking.
“At night.”
Scrubbing a hand over his face, he sighs. “Which night, smartass.”
You’d taken the opportunity given by the movement of his arm to slip out from where he’d pinned you. You were not in the mood to play this game.
“I don't know.” You sneer at him as you fold your arms over your chest. It may have been childish, but you didn’t care.
“Yeah you do.”
“I said I don’t -”
“Yes. You fuckin’ do.” He was stern now, pointing a finger at you, daring you to be a smartass one more time. “Because I know it sure as fuck weren't last night.”
Busted. “The night before.” Looking away, you busy yourself with folding a dish towel.
“Really.” It’s not a question. Joel cocks an eyebrow at you with a twist of his head.
Shrugging your shoulders, you mumble back to him. “Couple hours.”
“And the night before that?”
“Didn't know you were the fucking Spanish inquisition.”
He cocks an eyebrow. Again.
“A couple fucking hours, Joel. Now fuck off and leave me alone or I swear I'll -”
He grabs you as you’re about to slap the dish towel onto the counter in anger and pulls you forward into his chest. His nose is practically touching yours and his eyes are impossibly dark.
“Shower. Now.” He means it, but you resist, trying to pull from his arms. You're pissed off. Now is not the time for him to be telling you what to do.
“No, I-”
“Get in the fucking shower.”
You can feel your top lip preparing to curl itself into a snarl. 
Instead, you turn on your heel and head for the shower.
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You’re still damp, wrapped in nothing but a towel, when you exit the bathroom.
“You done?”
Joel is stood there at the foot of the bed, his t-shirt already discarded somewhere in the room. His belt is unbuckled and he’s beginning to unbutton his jeans and pull down the fly. You can’t help but stare. The sleep-deprived rage that’s flowed through you all day feels an awful lot like arousal when your brain is too muddled to know which way is up. And when you’re looking at Joel. Especially when you��re looking at Joel. 
You gawk at the hard planes of his body. Broad shoulders, muscle built from years of working on construction sites, and a softness around the edges given to him by the comforts you know he loves so much.
It’s only 6pm. You were now more tired than angry, some of your anger washed away in the shower, somewhere between scrubbing your body and rinsing conditioner from your hair. 
You float toward the dresser and open a drawer, planning on readying yourself for bed - you suspect that’s the plan anyway. “Shower and bed” is your usual routine, after all. You distantly register that he’s talking again, but the words don’t compute until he’s twisting your head toward him with a firm finger on your chin.
“No panties. Get on the bed.” He cocks his head toward the plush bed in the middle of the room. You don’t move. “Get on the fucking bed.”
Dropping your towel, you move to the bed. You’re compliant. So tired you’ve given up. So tired, the rage can’t take hold in the same way any more. So tired, you’d do just about anything to get a few hours sleep. The fight in you has all but fucked off. For now.
Your limbs feel like lead as you pull yourself onto the comforter and fall back somewhere toward the center of the mattress. You’re too tired for grace right now. You just need to sleep. If only you could fucking sleep.
There’s a rustle of discarded jeans, and a moment later, the mattress is shifting under Joel’s weight and the heat of him radiates up you as he shifts his body on top of yours. At some point your knees were knocked apart and his own had settled between them, but you don’t remember exactly how. All you're focused on is the heat of him. 
A large hand ghosts over your hip, down the soft swell of your thigh and between your legs. He starts stroking gently at the soft skin of your inner thighs. Moving up, and up, and up, he switches sides just before meeting the apex of your legs and moves to give your other thigh attention.
You don’t know if you’ve been breathing, but you’re not dead yet so you must have remembered at some point. All you know is you’re somehow sensitive and numb in equal measure - feeling everything so harshly, but so distantly.
Soft kisses are being pressed to you - your neck, jaw, temples, chest. Up and down, just like his hands. The movement of him could send you off, but the heat above of him is burning through you too much for you to be lulled to sleep.
Swapping from side to side, he caresses your soft flesh until he’s so impossibly close to your center yet not close enough to be touching. A soft sweep of his hand over your cunt, and you’re pulled from your daze with a jolt.
“Joel, I said I don't want to come.” You try to be firm, gripping his arm and lightly tugging, but you don’t want to be. You do want to come. You’re tired, you didn’t want it before, and you’re being stubborn because fuck you always are, but now that he’s here - now that he’s there - you want it.
“I ain't makin’ you come. I'm gettin’ this pussy wet so I can fuck it.” He says it so matter of factly you could headbutt him.
Instead, your mouth falls into an o-shape and you stare at him. Your grip on his arm weakens, partly with your resolve, and partly with exhaustion.
“I -”
“Shut up.”
“But I -”
The firm fingers that were caressing your thighs so softly a moment ago are suddenly gripping your chin hard, and your eyes snap directly to his. “I said shut the fuck up.” He lands a gentle peck on your lips before releasing you, trailing his hand back down the contours of your body. His nose brushes up and down the side of your neck and jaw, occasional soft kisses being pressed to the sensitive skin there as he breathes you in. 
You are floating.
His fingers meet your folds again, relentlessly teasing and stroking the softness of your labia, a flare of something coursing through you that stokes a fire no longer built of rage, but arousal.
Joel looks down the stretch of your body as he feels at your entrance, parting you with two fingers. Teasing, he swirls his finger tip just outside of you, collecting the veritable oil slick you'd generated in the last few minutes of his careful teasing.
“There we go. We got there, huh?” He almost sounds condescending and you want to slap off the smug look you know is on his face.
“Now. Here's what we're gonna do.” He murmurs into your ear as he still teases around your cunt, dipping a little further in but never down to a knuckle. 
“You're goin’ to shut the fuck up and take what I give you. Then you're goin’ to go the fuck to sleep whether you like it or not.” 
He pulls his finger from your cunt, and before you have a chance to protest the loss of sensation or his instruction, he’s slipping the slicked finger between your lips. Your brain stutters to a halt and all you can do is gently suckle on his digit, tasting the sweetness of your own pussy.
“That taste good?” He strokes your hair, your face, and a soft whine escapes you. “Yeah I know it does baby.”
He brushes your hair back as he takes his finger from your mouth and puts it into his own, tasting the remnants of you. You stare at him, dumb from sleep, dumb from the wetness you know must be dripping out of you. 
“I know.” He coos as he sits back on his haunches. His heat is so far away now, and you almost whine again until you feel him notch at your entrance. Your eyes widen. “I know.” He pushes in the weeping tip of his cock - you don’t know how long he’s been hard but you can feel it- and slides in with a gentle thrust. Rocking his hips, you take more and more of him until he slides home and pushes his hips until they’re flush with yours. 
You are so impossibly full, stretched without much warning, and your mind so deliciously blank that breathing has to become a conscious effort.
He pulls out slightly, giving you room to breathe, before pushing back in, deeper than before. “That's it. You take it. You're getting your medicine now, huh? I'm goin’ to come in this pussy and you're goin’ to go the fuck to sleep. Ain't ya? Huh? Answer me sweetheart.”
Practically going cross-eyed with the effort, you look him in the eyes. “Mhm.”
“Good. There's a good girl. Just take it and then you'll sleep. You been needin’ this. Too damn pissy for your own good to be able to ask for what you need.”
He’s fucking into you so deep, so gently that you can do nothing but quietly gasp with each rock of his hips into yours.
“Once you get some come in your pussy that'll send you right to sleep.” He’s right. You know he’s right and it’s all you want. You need it, but words are lost to you so you nod your head softly, before letting out a deep moan. He’s pushed himself even deeper and he’s holding there for a moment before releasing. He repeats the action a few times, and your moans get higher and higher pitched.
“I'm goin’ to get it nice and deep, just how you like it. This is where you need it, ain't it?” He pushes low on your stomach. He’s always been big, but like this he feels even bigger. You let out a whine. If you had the energy to sustain your rage and be fucked, you'd be furious at your own pathetic noises, but you were so past any of it.
“Yeah.” Too sleepy and too cockdumb, it’s the first word you’ve been able to utter for what feels like an hour.
“Oh, baby, I know, you're so tired.” He tuts and picks up the pace of his movements, his solid length slowly drawing out of your messy cunt before punching back in.
Maybe if you were even more tired, the smooth, rhythmic movement of his hips slapping against yours would let you drift off to sleep, but it has the opposite effect. You can’t possibly sleep now. You need him, you need more. He’s everywhere but not everywhere enough and your arousal pools and drips down from your needy hole, down the crevasse of your ass and onto the bed below. 
Words are gone again, so you whine, high pitched and needy.
“You're taking your medicine so good baby. So good.” His words shoot right fucking through you. You could come. Oh fuck, you want to come. But you don’t know the words anymore - you don’t know any words.
So you whine again.
“Oh, it's okay, it's okay.” He shushes you, kissing your temple. “I know what you need.”
He doesn't tease. He simply brushes a hand down between your legs, never breaking the rhythm of his cock thrusting in and out of your dripping cunt. He splays his fingers around your pussy for a second, feeling his length as it slides in and out of you, collecting your wetness in the process.
Those same fingers trail up and find their place on your neglected clit, circling lightly.
He searches your face, waiting for the connection of his fingertips with your clit to register in your eyes. There it is.
“That's it, huh? That right there.” He adds a firmer pressure to his fingertips as he swirls them around your slicked clit. Your eyes have glossed over and you let out a keening whine at his ministrations, your pussy already twitching around him. 
“Thank you. Thank you.” It’s barely a whisper, but it’s words, so you’ll take it.
“Oh now she's polite, huh. Gettin’ what she needs and suddenly she remembers her manners.” He teases. Asshole.
He was so good at this. All of it. He knew the exact buttons to push, the exact way to get you wet, the words to say, the way to be. If you wanted it hard he'd give it hard, if you wanted it gentle he'd give it gentle. And this, some delicious no-man's land in-between where his movements were gentle but his words were somewhat harsh, was sending you over the edge.
The rhythm of his fingers and cock is so in sync, so perfect, that you feel your whole body begin to quake as the beginning of your orgasm flares through you.
“Oh that's it, you fucking come. You come. Didn't even know you needed it huh. Don't even know your own pussy like I do, baby. You needed all this. Needed my cock in you, feelin’ so good, needed to come around me.”
Your walls flutter around his rock solid length, gripping him, and your legs clench, trying to snap shut but unable with the press of his body between your thighs. Your orgasm washes over you, briefly blinding you and you feel Joel’s fingers and thrusts speed up, fucking you through it and rocking you back and forth as your mouth opens in a silent scream. 
One ragged intake of breath later and you go limp against the mattress. Joel stills, removing his fingers from your oversensitive clit, stroking at your arm and making you twitch.
He nuzzles his nose into you and gives a deep press into you with his hips. You gasp and open your eyes. His face is softer now - no condescending wrinkle of his raised brows, no smirk.
“You gonna play stupid next time? Huh?” He softly traces a finger over your chin and mouth.
“No.” You try not to pout at him, you really do. You’re not sure you succeed.
“You gonna ask for what you need when you need it?” His finger moves to trace over your nose, your forehead.
You nod, soaking in the feeling of his hands, acutely aware of his cock still impaling you so deeply. “Mm.”
“Good. Good girl.” He mumbles into your mouth, kissing you, licking at the seam of your lips.
With a sudden movement he pulls out and snaps his hips forward, swallowing your gasp with his mouth.
You’re fucked out and exhausted, but he’s not finished.
“You're gonna take this come now.” He practically whispers it, and you want to scream with how it reignites every nerve ending in your body to his touch. “I'm gonna come in this pussy and then we're getting those panties on you.” His head ticks over to the dresser, where the drawer still lies open from earlier. Oh. You’d forgotten about that.
“Then, you're goin’ the fuck to sleep.”
“Mm.” You nod weakly. You'll do anything. Anything he says.
“We'll deal with the messy panties when you wake up, sweetheart. See how much of a mess I make in you.” 
His movements barely speed up, barely get harder, but you know he's close. He’s been close for a while - he likes it when you fight but he likes it when you’re feeble too. 
"Yeah. Ohhhh - fuck - yeah." He doesn't stop moving, fucking you in the same steady rhythm as he empties himself deep into your cunt, thick ropes of come filling you and making you feel even more impossibly warm and wet as it leaks out of you already, still stuffed full of Joel's cock.
"Fuck. There we go.” He says with a sigh, stroking your shoulder and kissing your neck. “There we go baby.”
His cock twitches as it starts to soften, but he holds it, and his come, inside of you for a moment until it’s an impossible task.
You’re delirious from the orgasm, from the constant rhythm of Joel’s fucking setting a metronome up in your body, and from so little sleep.
A deep kiss is pressed to your lips, you try to catch it and return the pressure, but your reflexes are so slow that he’s away and sliding out of you before you can even register what’s happening. Another stroke of your shoulder and his weight is suddenly off of you completely.
You could float away without him there to tether you down.
Distantly, you hear the slide of a drawer in the dresser. You're dozing when he slides one foot then another into the legs of your panties, before pulling them up your legs to your knees. Fingertips ghost up your legs, and meet at your dripping core. He looks at the mess made of your pussy, clicks his tongue, and he fingers some of the escaped come back into you with two thick fingers.
“Up.” His voice gruff with post-orgasm relaxation and his fingers still gently moving inside of you. You lift your hips, probably barely, but it's the most you can give right now. Joel shimmies them up the rest of the way with one hand, and pulls his fingers from inside you once they're settled in place.
He rubs the soaked seat of your clean panties. "We'll keep that right there, right where you need it.”
"Mm." You nod, barely seeing him now through the haze of your sleepiness and that post-fuck haze. He was right. You did need it. He was always right.
Another soft kiss is pressed to your temple, and you feel a soft caress across your arms, shoulders, neck, face. 
Just as you register the cold you feel without him on top of you, you feel the weight of a soft blanket fall over you. Your eyes are impossibly heavy now, but you realize you haven’t been seeing anything for a while anyway. You almost don’t recall ever being angry - your frustration from the day flipped into arousal so quickly, and melted away with the waning of your orgasm.
“Sleep.” His voice is so deep and so inviting. Your body so relaxed and ready to give in to him, give in to sleep.
You’d been chasing sleep for weeks, only for it to evade you. Being given dregs of what your body would let you have. But this time, for the first time in weeks, you don’t let your eyes fall closed, you close them. You don’t let sleep take you, you take hold of it. 
“Sweet dreams, darlin’.” And you’re gone.
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demonicbaby666 · 1 month
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Dom Emily prentiss x intern fem reader is all i ask!! Smutty ofc, a lil bit of a humiliation kink if you’re comfortable!!! Thank yewww
Packing Heat
One shot | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists
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Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader
Genre: Smut
Words: 4.8k+
Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, strap-ons (r!receiving), semi-public sex (office sex, again…), praise, degradation, mommy kink, kind of dub-con at one point, top!Emily, bottom!reader
Summary: Interning at the BAU means you don’t interact with the person in charge a lot. Of course, this doesn’t mean you haven’t seen the section chief in passing or exchanged pleasantries; it's that they’re simple, short-lived and often anti-climatic. However one evening, you find yourself in the desolate office with no chance of going home, work to be done, but no one to sit with you through the process. With only one other soul residing on the sixth floor, it seems Emily may be your best bet for company.
A/n: Listen, could she be more dom? Yes. Is there any humiliation? Not really... But I got lost while writing, so please don't be mad at me... Hope you still enjoy!
When you'd first started at the BAU, it was safe to say you hadn't seen much of the woman calling the shots. There were always updates about when the team were taken out of state, what their cases would entail, the steady progress being made, and the brief comical encounters Garcia spewed around the office. When they were back, everyone made an effort to small talk. They welcomed you well and continued to appreciate the little things you did for them daily. Emily, however, was constantly on the go, meaning every encounter you'd had with her consisted of one-way glances and hopeful smiles in the event she decided to notice her surroundings and the human lifeform less than two metres away. 
She never did, though, until one uneventful evening. 
Almost everyone had vacated the building. The only remaining souls left on the sixth floor were you, Emily, and a one-person cleaning crew—whom you watched exit through glass doors before approaching the brunette's office with shaky knees. Peeking through the window, you saw her attention dart to and from the bright computer screen to the mountains of bureaucratic paperwork lying atop her desk. It was easy to get lost in the little creases between her eyebrows, brought out by the deep scowl she wore, the delicate way her fingers were woven together, and the pads of her thumbs skirting against one another as she pondered in deep thought. 
It was nearing eight, and you were struggling to understand how someone could appear so put together at this late hour, given that their day was most certainly jam-packed with non-stop slog. 
Emily's eyes suddenly flashed up. She squinted toward her door, trying to figure out who'd be here this late other than herself. When she appeared to have worked it out, she leaned back victoriously in her chair, a smug smile on her face, when she called out, "Are you going to stand out there all night?" 
You could have done two things: scurried off like a teenager caught peeping or held your chin up high and walked into the older woman's office with little to no shame. Somehow, you managed to do a mix of both, scurrying in with sagging shoulders, a guilty smile plastered on your face and trembling hands clasping your laptop over your chest.
"Well, it's eerily quiet out there, and I would go home to write this paper. It's just that my roommate and her boyfriend have an awful tendency to forget about volume control when they're—" You cut yourself off, realising it probably wasn't appropriate to talk to your boss about your roommate's over-the-top borderline pornographic soundscape. "I was wondering if I could, you know."
Emily, satirising as ever, waited with a raised eyebrow and a relaxed smile for you to continue your purposefully unfinished question. 
"Sorry, I should let you work." You surrendered to your weak resolve with flushed cheeks and began to turn around.
"Sit," she ordered before you had fully turned back around to the door, nodding to the available chair on the other side of her desk. Her eyes followed your journey to the seat, watching as you placed your laptop down and opened it with shaky fingers. Satisfied, she turned her attention back to her work. "I could do with some company." 
The following silence, starting as unsettling and stagnant, blossomed into something warm and comfortable. There were occasional glances thrown your way and vice versa. Their acknowledgement and appreciation were shown in the form of timid smiles on your end and double takes followed by teasing smirks on Emily's. 
When half an hour had passed, your shoulders had finally relaxed, your fingers had stopped their infernal twitching, and your paper neared its completion. There was a proud smile cresting, and you were trying to prevent it from forming, knowing how dorkish it made you look. But you knew there was no hope when your cheeks ached and your jaw locked. You granted yourself the freedom to display your gloating smile. 
Just as expected, Emily had a questioning look on her face when you dared to look up from the document. There was a playfulness to the upward quirk of her lips - the superiority of a predator knowing the power they have over their prey, ready to prove it at any given moment. 
"I've almost finished," you timidly admitted, feeling obligated to explain as heat infiltrated your jutted-out cheeks. 
Without a second thought, the ravenette stood up and made her way around the desk. She could have easily chosen to turn the laptop around. Instead, she took the far more intimate route. 
Soft curves grazed your shoulder blades, causing you to shiver. The weight finally settled, soft padding pressed flat against your back as Emily read your paper, and suddenly, your stomach had worked itself into looping knots, and your heart was racing. 
The struggle continued as you fought not to fidget, if only to alleviate the growing tension mounting between your thighs. This was only made worse when Emily's right hand left the back of your chair to drop down over your shoulder and land comfortably on your thigh. 
"Such a smart girl," she whispered sultrily into the shell of your ear, squeezing generous flesh between her fingers. 
With a scrambled brain, there was little fight to be put up against the meek whimper that crackled against the constricted lining of your throat. Subconsciously, your thighs tensed, and your pussy fluttered as you were reminded how close Emily's hand was to where you could only dream she'd touch. 
You'd thought you imagined it—the subtle shift in the room from breezy and light to torrid and all-consuming, but with Emily's fingers veering off course, inching higher and higher, reality came crashing down. 
"Thank you," you struggled to get the words out, and when they did come out, they were tremulous and feeble. 
Turning to look at her may have, in hindsight, been a mistake because where her gaze should have been fixed on the laptop screen, it was glued to your lips. Unexpectedly, your stomach flipped, and you felt dizzy. She was still superbly perfect up close, skin smooth like silk, cheekbones sharp as a razor, and lips cut from velvet. It was too close, dangerously so, you had to look away. Outside the window, you spotted a swarm of birds barely visible against the night sky. You ignored the clanking of your heart as you focussed on their synchronicity, watching them circle each other until they became one big blur of messy movements. 
The hand resting on the leather backing of your chair rose, skirting up and over your neck, until a firm grip was established around your dangling ponytail. She was gentle when she tugged, aware that though she wanted to educate you in the art of being owned, you were delicate.
"I think a pretty thing like you deserves a reward," she baited. "Don't you?" 
Her grip on you may have been physical. However, a stronger pull was coming from deep within you, an unimportant piece of scrap metal drawn in by a powerful magnet. It was useless to deny her. The mesmerising glow of her chocolate eyes and the promise of being made to feel special was too powerful. So, you nodded slowly but eagerly, desire painting your eyes dark shades of lust. 
"That's a good girl." 
Emily didn't miss how you preened at the praise and safely stored that information away for further use. She shifted to your side, hands migrating to the small of your waist, guiding you to your feet. The act of it was far gentler than you'd expected, like a gentleman asking a maiden to dance, sweeping her off her feet to whisk her away into a fairytale land filled with magic and romance. 
Certain the benign treatment would be short-lived, you granted yourself the leniency to enjoy it whilst it lasted, refusing to get too caught up in the dull ache between your legs that craved the form of savagery Emily displayed in the field. 
There was nothing short of passion in how she worked. It drove you crazy. As wrong as it felt, you couldn't help but envy the dirtbag the team was working to catch because you saw how badly the brunette wanted them. The look in her eyes, gratification and disgust all at once, when she'd achieved what she set out to do and was staring the devil right in the face - it made your heart race, your palms sweat and your cunt throb. 
The memory kickstarted what could only be described as a brutal attack upon the older woman's lips. To her credit, Emily indulged the outburst for a lot longer than you'd have thought. As if she'd expected it, she quickly responded, pulling you into her body and tilting her head to the side to deepen the kiss. The lead was stolen promptly from your grasp when Emily wedged a leg between your thighs, backed you up against her desk and tactically slid her tongue into your gaped mouth. You would have gasped if not for the fact you were immediately indulged in the minty taste of your boss's tongue skirting over the roof of your mouth. So much so that you scarcely noticed the pressure coming from your core was no longer just a phantom need manifested but taut clothed muscle pressing you further and further into the sharp wooden edge of the desk. 
"Emily," you breathily moaned, pulling back and separating your kiss-swollen lips from the brunette's. Ordinarily, you wouldn't have allowed what happened next to occur, but this was Emily, after all, the BAU section chief, and if you were to let anyone order you about, it would be her. 
She backed away from you with a final nip to your bottom lip, letting it go with a pop, and you fought the urge to reach out and pull her back to you. You knew you'd already tried to take things into your own hands once, and doing so again may undermine any chances you had of keeping the ball rolling on tonight's affairs. 
You could feel the tight pull of your ponytail and all the places where hair had been lead array from the confines of your hairband, and it truly dawned on you how out of sorts you must have appeared. Tracing your fingers over your lips, you could make out how swollen they were - puffy and hot, yet desperate and pouted, begging for more. Your breathing was laboured, filling the room's silence, and your shirt suddenly felt too tight as your chest expanded with each intake of oxygen. It almost came as a relief when Emily opened her mouth to finally speak until you heard what she'd said.
"Take your clothes off," she mindlessly ordered, walking around to her chair and sitting back in it. Her eager eyes trained over your body with the faintest shimmer of mirth. 
Initially, it was a shock. Of course, it was. You were in an official government building, personnel still sparsely spread throughout, and a goddess of a woman was asking you to bare yourself to her. 
For the longest time, revealing your body to someone always felt like giving up something. Perhaps some kind of purity. The moment you gave it up, it bred only guilt and shame that twisted and pulled at the pit of your stomach until you felt sick. You stood there, waiting for that feeling to come. It never did. 
Remaining still, your body pulsed not with nerves but with exhilaration and anticipation. It took a few seconds to realise this was precisely what you wanted. You wanted to give this false sense of purity away. There was not a sudden influx of courage soaring through every living cell of your body. However, there was enough for you to put on a front and do as you were told. 
"Slowly." Emily sat further back and placed her elbows neatly over the arms of her chair. She laced her fingers together, offered you an encouraging nod, and then was back to watching you raptly.
Feeling like a glutton, you followed a path of desire and heeded Emily's request, fingers increasingly fumbling over each button of your shirt. 
"So obedient." And in no way was it said negatively; the adulatory smile she gave you only sought to prove that further. 
The way she looked at you made you feel as though you were already naked. Maybe that was why it was so easy to get lost in the subtlety of undressing. It was art, and you were a performer. That's what you told yourself. And for the most part, it worked. 
With closed eyes, you trailed your fingers over your shoulders, letting your shirt drop to the floor. The AC raised goosebumps over your chest, pebbled your nipples under your plain bra, and you smiled. You smiled because this was the most alive you had felt in months. The thrill of moving on to your slacks and deftly unclasping your belt felt like being on a rollercoaster, like missing a step and laughing fear in the face afterwards. You felt utterly fearless. 
In the back of your mind, you could sense Emily's eyes still on you. You could hear her moving around but didn't think to check her reaction. You were in your element, and far be it for a look of appraisal, or lack of, to stop you. That was until your trousers hit the carpet with a soft thud, and a sharp breath was heard from across you. 
Your eyes snapped open, and you found Emily's smile was absent. The brunette now had her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she looked you up and down, knuckles white from her deadly grip over the armrests. 
She lifted a hand, palm facing the ceiling as her index and middle finger crooked. "Come here so I can get a proper look at you," she said, slightly breathless. 
The desk had conveniently covered the lower half of Emily's body, which meant that when you circled around and came to stand next to her, you could see exactly what the earlier ruffling had been about. 
"Is that?" You froze, both shocked and utterly intrigued by the thick black dildo jutting out from the older woman's opened slacks. 
She didn't need you to finish the question, already nodding as she followed your line of sight. Leaning forward with an outstretched arm, Emily coiled her fingers around your wrist and pulled you forward, causing you to almost stumble over your own feet. At this closer distance, you could tell the faux cock would give you a run for your money. It was thicker than anything you had taken before, though that was not a hard trophy to earn, given that the most you had let anyone put inside you was three fingers. 
"Do you want to come sit on mommy's lap?" Emily asked with a tilt of her head. 
She didn't miss how your breath caught in your throat, how you seemed to stop blinking, stop moving, stop existing.
"Are you scared?" the lioness asked, sights set on her prized fawn. 
You shook your head and placed one foot in front of the other, eyes downcast as you took in the size of Emily's additional appendage. The shake of your jaw gave you away. 
"I don't like being lied to," she snapped, eyes dimming to an even darker shade of brown. 
She pulled you in by your waist and sat you on her lap, cock brushing over the thin material of your underwear. Instinctively, you wedged your bottom lip between your teeth to quiet yourself. But Emily wasn't having any of it. Her thumb came to your captive lip, where she helped release it with a soft flick. 
The smooth texture of Emily's cock through your sodden panties was a needed relief. Its head purposefully pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves evoked a flurry of shivers to run down your spine. And with nothing holding you back, you moaned in gratitude. 
"Feels good, doesn't it?" Emily smirked, watching you rut against her. 
"Yes," you uttered, breath caught in your throat. 
Happy to watch, Emily relaxed her shoulders and leaned back, enjoying the show you were putting on for her. Only when she recognised the tell-tell signs of frustration wash over your features, from your creased brow to the bite of your lip between your teeth, did a sick smirk lick the edges of her lips. With a mischievous glint shining in her eyes, the older woman shifted her position, pointedly ignoring the sound it pulled from you. 
"Something wrong?" she asked with a hitch of one eyebrow, adamant to appear oblivious. 
You gave no reply, only held tight to her shoulders in defiance and continually ground down on her, trying so hard to pleasure yourself to no avail that your eyes began to sting with the emergence of tears. 
With sweat threatening to spill down the side of your face, the tension between your legs starting to ache, and your release nowhere near in sight, you threw your head back with a sigh and whispered a quiet 'please' to the ceiling.
"Please what?" Came the dull reply, tone bored, unamused, unimpressed.  
You tried to impale yourself, failing as strong hands held you down. It was driving you crazy—pleasure being so close yet so far. 
With one hand removed from your hip, Emily gripped your jaw and turned your attention solely to her stern gaze, "Are you going to stop being a brat and tell me what you want?" 
When no answer came, she let go, jerking your head back as if disgusted with the lack of compliance. 
"Get up." 
Ice, you were made of ice. Sat still, shocked, speechless and slightly mortified. 
"Do I need to repeat myself?" Emily's voice was no longer flat; it was not roaring either. Instead, it was layered, resembling the same barbed tone a teacher might use with a disobedient student. It was enough of a motivator to get you to rise to your feet. 
Following you closely, the older woman, too, rose to her full height, hands meticulously reaching behind your back to expertly relieve you of your bra. Never once did she look you in the eye. 
With the same callous approach, you were turned and pressed against the desk, papers sticking to your heated chest. Emily was quick to loop her fingers through the hem of your underwear and slip them down your thighs, allowing gravity to do the rest. 
The full-bodied presence behind you lessened, and you took it as the opportune moment to glance back. 
The brunette had let her trousers drop to the floor, allowing you to see how her porcelain skin was directly contrasted by the black leather of her strap-on. Unlike yourself, she did not appear nervous or afraid. As she kicked the tailored pants aside and met your gaze, you realised how in control she was. 
Her gaze moved down your body, hands running down your back, until finally, she pressed herself against you and lowered her body atop yours. 
"I can feel how wet you are," she teased, running two fingers through the mess between your legs. "Are you always this wet?" 
"Emily, please," you begged. 
"I asked before, please what?" She raked five fingers down your side, moving them back up till they wound tightly in your hair and gripped your neck to an uncomfortable arch. Two fingers pushed inside you but did no more than that, remaining still as stone. "If you're going to be a baby and refuse to tell me what you want, you'll get nothing." 
"Fuck me!" You no longer had the sound of mind to acknowledge shouting something vulgar could attract attention. Logic had evaded you, allowing you to play right into your boss's hands. "Please just fuck me."
Sliding her slick fingers out of you, she proudly stated, "That wasn't hard, was it?"
If the older woman wanted an answer, she did not allow for one. In one fluid motion, she rose from over you and snapped her hips forward, sheathing the entire length of her cock into your cunt. Your breath caught in your throat, resulting in a strained groan tumbling out of your open mouth. The pit of your stomach dropped, and try as you might have not to clench around the toy inside you, you did precisely that. 
It was new, the foreign feeling of being filled so fully that one slight move would summon pleasure that sent shivers through your whole body. It wasn't unwelcome, especially when Emily started to move, and heat engulfed your entire body. Her pace was languid, allowing you to feel each slide of her cock along your slick walls, how each push of her hips ended in the tip hitting the spot within you to cause the furling in your stomach to expand tenfold. It was all you could do not to scream when the push and pull and Emily's hips moved with more purpose, jerking your body into the edge of her desk. 
"I've barely started, and you're already dripping down your thighs." Her voice was laced with mirth, finger smearing your mess as if to prove an unnecessary point that had your cheeks burning up. "How long have you been thinking about this?" Emily finished her question with an arduous thrust. "How many times have you sunk your fingers into your pussy and thought of me?" 
The questions continued, each hitting the nail right on the head. Your cheeks were scorched with the embarrassment that comes with having your desires known and exposed, but it did not take hold of your conscience as the event of falling in front of a large crowd might have. It was comparable to how a blushing maiden may feel when caught by a suitor in only their undergarments. It excited that small part of you that gave in to demoralisation and encouraged you enough to meet Emily halfway as she thrust into you. 
As your pleasure mounted, the need for more grew. Your clit, swollen and needy, begged for relief, and you beckoned to its call, sliding one hand from above your head to the juncture between your legs. It was when the tips of your fingers brushed against your sensitive pearl and you gained the briefest taste of the euphoria that Emily removed her hand from your thigh and snatched your hand away, halting all movement. 
You could have cried, having everything, then nothing, so quickly. 
"Did I say you could do that?" 
Abruptly pulling out, Emily stood tall and proud, staring down at you with curiosity and disappointment lining the brown of her eyes. She heard you whimper and acknowledged your sniffle. 
"There's no need to cry," she tutted, flipping you onto your back and lifting you by your shoulders. "You're going to listen to me from now on." 
You nodded, and she once again lined her cock to your opening, only now she waited, taunting you with possibilities. 
"Beg," she instructed. 
And you heeded. 
"Please. I need you." 
"You can do better." She sounded bored, and this struck a nerve within you, one that begged you to impress her, show her you could be a good little girl, and beg as though your life depended on it. 
You took a heaving breath and looked into Emily's eyes, sporting your best puppy eyes. "I need you. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me with your big cock, mommy. Make me scream out your name. I need it." 
"There's a good pet," she cooed, mesmerising you with the bating of her lashes as she looked down to where your bodies were so close to touching. 
It all happened in a blur. The next thing you knew, your nails were digging into muscled shoulders, legs wrapping around a slim waist as the brunette filled you, wasting no time in picking up a brutal tempo. You barely recognised the sound of your voice as high-pitched obscenities spilt past your lips. You felt your whole body light up, heard blood pulse in your ears, and saw in real-time just how easy it was to aid Emily in calling upon your impending orgasm. 
Your vulgar mouth, luckily, seemed to amuse Emily enough for her to let you continue rutting your hips against her. The corners of her lips curled, and her smirk lasted only so long for you to see before she inched forward and kissed you with passion and hunger. It was easy, so easy, to melt into the brief moment of intimacy. The butterflies felt tangible, and the sparks crackled in your ears; it felt so fucking good you'd almost forgotten just where you were. Of course, bubbles eventually popped, and this one was demolished by rustling outside Emily's office. 
What little movement Emily allowed, her hands holding you firmly against the desk by your waist, was not enough to wriggle free and glance behind to see what was happening. Instead, the possibility of being caught weighed heavier with each drawled-out second. 
"Emily," You tried but were cut off by a tongue sliding into your mouth. "Emily, stop."
With a bite to your lip, the older woman backed off, confusion marking her features, "What is it?" she punctuated her question with a hard thrust. 
"Someone's o-" another hard thrust. "Someone's outside."
Emily smiled, picking up her pace, forcing you to breathe so deep you felt your lungs expand. 
"You'd better be quiet then." 
Whatever protest you were about to give died in your throat when nails skirted up to your chest and dug painfully into your breast, and Emily pushed herself so deep within you that you felt her hitting your cervix. A strangled cry was briefly heard before you managed to clasp your hand over your lips and silence your own mewls. She was fucking you as if her life depended on getting a reaction out of you that would draw attention. Nevertheless, you held firm and stayed as quiet as your muffled sobs would allow you to be. 
"Emily, please," you were pleading for release and for the brutal fucking stop because you knew there would be no chance you could keep a lid on your volume; there would also be no chance you would survive not cumming. 
Taking note of this, the older woman took the route of giving you your release, dragging a thumb down over your clit and applying the right amount of pressure to have your tense legs turn into a shaky mess of tremors. She didn't stop there; with a brief slide, she ran your slick over your bundle of nerves and started to circle steadily. 
"Fuck!" You screamed out, missing the way the ruffling outside suddenly stopped. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming." 
"That's it," the brunette encouraged, her fingers coming up to crook and tangle through the mussed mess of your hair, nails slowly working against your scalp. "Let everyone hear what a slut you are, letting me fuck you over my desk." 
She didn't stop, though, not when your clit felt raw and your pussy tender, not when you begged and not even when you reached out and tried to grab her wrist. Emily only yanked you down by your hair, relishing the thud the brutal move made. She fucked you harder till stationary fell to the floor from your thrashing arms, and by then, her lips were already wrapped around a nipple, sucking firm whilst you cried through a second orgasm. 
When you finally felt empty, you didn't even try to open your eyes. You knew your vision would be blurred if not blacked out. Instead, you focussed on coming back down to earth, steading your breath and not thinking about how you strangely missed being filled by Emily despite being so fucking sore. 
"Are you still alive?" a smug voice asked from above, and you pried your bleary eyes open to weakly smile. 
"I think so," you whispered, peeling your sweat-slick back from the desk. That was when you remembered the unknown personnel outside and shot a look at the door. 
"They're gone," Emily said, cupping your chin and turning you back to her. Again, you were greeted by that conniving smirk. "After your commentary, I think they understood we didn't want to be disturbed." 
"But-" 
"Uh-uh." she silenced you with a finger to your lips, the smell of yourself still narrowly fragrant. You took the digit into your mouth, patting yourself on the back as you watched Emily's eyes turn dark. "You want to make Mommy feel good now, don't you?" She knew the answer, but oh, how she loved to watch you sink to your knees and eagerly nod anyway. You helped unclasp the straps of her harness, then set to pealing the last barrier keeping you from her heat down her legs. 
"My good little pet," she said, smiling down at you and happily watching you beam. Her hand cupped your jaw before moving to the back of your neck, where she pulled you to her core and began singing a melody of moans. 
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lionheartedmusings · 2 months
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hi everyone! i talked about my new "dream job" very briefly a few times, but turns out you really shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch. i debated not saying anything multiple times, and frankly perhaps i should've kept quiet, but i refuse to let this situation eat me up and i feel like the community also deserves some transparency on some things that realistically, you'll never get unless people speak up. i want to preface this by stating very, very clearly that everyone that i met in the studio on a personal level is incredibly talented, passionate, and kind. all of them deserve much, much better than the way they get treated. i applied to be a writer for quackity studios / qsmp and got an email back on the 18th of january. i interviewed for the position on the 23rd of january, and entered trial period on the 28th after signing an "nda".
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early during trial period, i asked one of my supervisors about payment and was told they weren't responsible for that and didn't know, but would get back to me as soon as they knew which never ended up happening (i do not blame them at all, they’re incredibly busy people). i should've pressed further, but as someone in a very, very sensitive financial situation and someone who loves the qsmp and admires the talent of everyone who poured their heart and soul into the project, i chose to wait and expect the best. i was officially welcomed into the studio on the 10th of february, and while i waited to be contacted regarding a contract or payment, i had to once again ask (even after i was already working) about payment. i was redirected to "the" head admin as it was him who handled payment, and had to wait days for him to log on so i could add him as a discord friend and ask about my salary. during that conversation, which took almost a week from start to finish, i was asked multiple times if i'd worked professionally as a writer or freelancer (to which the answer was no) before finally being offered between 200-250 dollars (which i later found out shakes out to 170€) per month. i had to ask how i was being paid, and of my own accord provide him with my paypal email in hopes of a response as he never made it clear to whom i should send it. i was incredibly lucky compared to so many members of that team, because i did get paid for my work over that month, even if it felt like i had to beg for compensation that had been promised to me before. it was an awful salary, but i was desperate and so excited to be a part of the team that i accepted the conditions. after léa's tweets, the response "jay" posted, and quackity's emergency stream, i heard once from a supervisor that things were on hold but we'd be informed of any changes. to this day, there has not been any communication either publicly on the discord server or privately, even though i asked a supervisor privately for any possible updates on anything. there's been absolute radio silence. i want to add that i do not in any way blame my supervisors for any of their lack of communication, as they've been nothing but kind and caring towards me and i imagine they'd say something if they could. i have nothing but the utmost respect for them. a few days ago (and i apologize for not being precise with the date but i wasn't checking these things closely as i had no reason to) i noticed that my access to just about everything on the server apart from the announcement channel had been removed, and the only role i retained was the main "writer" one. upon checking, the other writers on the team still retain all of their previous roles. for some reason i do not know nor understand, my access got removed without any sort of word, communication, dm, anything. anything i've ever learnt about this situation, i learnt in the middle of the night live on twitch.tv while i waited to see if i still had a job or not. the only reason i can find for my access being removed and not the other writers is the fact that i'm friends with pomme's admin. i do not know if that is why, it's merely my own speculation, but it's the only link i can see that would lead to that decision. i hope i'm wrong, but hope hasn't gotten me very far in this yet. yesterday, i quit.
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i only applied in the first place because i love the qsmp. i love this community, i love this project, and i genuinely and wholeheartedly wanted to help build it as well as be able to in some way support myself while being creative. i'm not making this post because i hate quackity and want to see anything burn — i'm just exhausted, and stressed, and losing sleep over a business that ultimately does not care for the people that made it a reality. i could not in good conscience not say something, because while i was very lucky that my time there was short and while i made friends there that i believe i will take with me for the rest of my life, i've never been someone who can sit and watch others be mistreated so blatantly and just ignore it. i honestly and sincerely hope that moving forward, things change, but after what i've seen i have very little hope left in me. this isn't just about the exploitation of people, or just about not providing people with payment for their work — it's about treating other human beings who are killing themselves and working themselves to the bone with the very minimum of care and respect. it's about people who made the qsmp what it is being discarded and disrespected constantly, and who live in fear and anxiety. these people deserve to be treated well, and that lack of respect hasn't changed regardless of any "announcements" made. my heart and full and complete support goes out to everyone who is dealing with these very unfortunate circumstances and treatment (my dms are always open if you ever want to reach out), to léa for being so incredibly brave and putting herself in the line of fire for the tens of people still in the studio, to all the actors and the twitter teams for the absolute silence they've received as payment for their hard work over almost a year, and to pomme's admin who despite what's going around on twitter has not received any contact from anyone in the studio yet, and deserves so so much better.
it’s my most sincere hope that qsmp thrives and conditions change, because everyone there deserves that. everyone there deserves to be treated like gold because they’re some of the best people i’ve ever met. i wish it didn’t feel like we have to put ourselves in the line of fire publicly for any sort of response because clearly staying silent hasn’t helped anything.
please, support the people who spoke out and support the people still in the project. they're the ones who made the qsmp the qsmp. they're the ones you should be standing with first and foremost.
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pshcomforts · 3 months
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➳ let you break my heart again | psh.
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collegestudent!sunghoon x fem!reader (mentions of wonyoung from ive)
“one day i will stop falling in love with you”
synopsis: you’ve been in love with your friend, sunghoon for a long time but he has eyes on someone else.
warnings/content: college au. unrequited love. pure and heavy angst. cursing. no happy ending. written in third pov. sunghoon’s oblivious. reader is introverted. a little bit of jay x reader.
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 3.3k
a/n: part two — ‘falling in love’. fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend). shameless part two is in the works i swear!
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: let you break my heart again by laufey
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
1:04 ─────|────────────── -3:25
it was a gloomy and early evening, and all y/n could hear were the sounds of bird chirps and wind whispers.
she gave a soft sigh as she arrived onto the school campus. “just a few hours today, it’s gonna rain too..,” she murmured with a saddened expression.
the girl soon felt a harsh arm tug around her neck, pulling her close within the person’s chest.
in an instant, the smell of cologne and fresh laundry attacked her senses and she knew who it was.
“you just got here??” her close friend, sunghoon beamed towards her.
y/n’s heart instantly thumped at the processed words. “yeah.. did you?” she took a gulp, eyes trailing up towards the body figure.
she heard him give a low chuckle that caused her insides to churn and twist all in one. “i’ve been here for a while, dummy. we’ve all been waiting for you.” hoon spoke, arms unintentionally linking her closer in his presence.
the girl awkwardly laughed along before swallowing her feelings away. “oh.. well, i’m here now.”
“finally! i’ve been waiting since 8am!”
“you have?” her head peered up and she only hoped that sunghoon didn’t notice the blushing red around her cheeks and ears.
he didn’t. the stupid boy was oblivious.
so he only cackled a laugh before furiously nodding his head — “yeah! i need to give you an update on how it’s going so far with wonyoung.”
oh.
y/n’s heart instantly sank to the pit of her stomach, killing all of the possible butterflies that had been formed there. “o..oh…,” she mumbled with a lip bite. “yeah, how’s it going so far?”
she attempted a smile but could only go so far with just her lips forcibly pressing into a thin line.
sunghoon didn’t notice the way his friend who’s crushed on him for months subtly withdrew away from him as he yapped on and on about his progress.
“so me and her..,” “and then we..,” “but she also told me..,” “and i really want her to know that..,” the oblivious boy mumbled on, and all she could do was let him run his mouth with how much excitement surged through him.
y/n laughed here and there, playing the simple mannered jokes to quiet down her aching pain that wished to become present.
but even with her efforts, her tears that caused a shine to display in her eyes were worsening her act. and when she quietly sniffed away her snot, sunghoon immediately noticed and stopped in his tracks.
“hey,” he nudged. “you okay?”
“yeah.. no, yeah, i’m definitely fine! it’s just getting cold so i think i’m getting a little sick.” she muffled back with her head turned away from him.
he didn’t give a response. at least, not right away. it was urgently quiet as he observed her body language, almost as if trying to figure her out.
“are you sure you’re okay?” the male softly uttered. his voice was sweet and reassuring, much like his feelings for wonyoung.
“if you need to, just go back home. your head might hurt if you stay in class.” he added in.
y/n hated this. she hated how caring he was, how unintentionally charming he was. she hated it, and she hated him (lies).
“no it’s fine, hoon.”
sunghoon’s face spoke with disbelief in her words. resting his hand on her shoulder, he firmly murmured, “i’m sure the professor will understand, i don’t want you to force yourself-“
“i said i’m fine.” the girl harshly reiterated.
after the cold shoulder, she felt his hand slip off of her shoulder — causing a burning pulse to ache in her heart. he was the one who withdrew this time, and she felt it.
“you didn’t have to be harsh, y/n.”
sunghoon’s hand was about to fully slip away but y/n caught it in time, fingers dangling onto the forearm with hope and regret.
“sorry, sunghoon, i’m just a little irritated with this cold,” she lied. nothing about her runny nose and teary eyes were about a cold. he was the reason, but he couldn’t know that.
✩ ‘i don’t even think that you care like i do’ ✩
hoon sighed. “i know you get a little mean when your head starts to hurt but don’t take it out on me,” he softly joked, playfully nudging her head afterwards.
the girl rolled her eyes before giving a light smack to his arm. “shut up, i’m just not feeling well.” another lie.
“well just don’t get me sick cause then i’ll get wonyoung sick.”
oh.
his words processed into her ears faster than she thought, and her smile dropped.
but when sunghoon looked back at her to see if she laughed at his joke, she quickly wore a grin once more.
“calm down, you guys are still talking.” y/n said with a stab to the heart.
“not after today, i hope.”
her ears perked up. she knew it wasn’t possible for her friend to like her back, especially with how much he always went on and on about a girl like wonyoung; but it didn’t hurt to have a little hope right?
✩ ‘pretend that we are more than friends’ ✩
“what’s happening today?” she asked, finding it hard to gulp down saliva with her heartbeats in her throat.
sunghoon awkwardly chuckled as he scratched the back of his nape. “i’m planning to ask her out today.”
another heart drop to the stomach.
✩ ‘i should stop’ ✩
‘of course.. i’m an idiot…,’ she thought to herself as she exhaled a heavy sigh.
“what? that’s not a good idea?” the boy asked, catching onto that exaggerated sigh.
“what? oh.. no, it’s a good idea! ask her out!” she beamed, displaying a wide smile. she felt like an idiot. her hopes went up for a second, just for it to be shot down like always.
✩ ‘heaven knows i’ve tried’ ✩
“thank you, y/n! you always help me with her, i can’t thank you enough!” sunghoon yelled, hugging and shaking her around.
y/n lightly laughed. “once is enough..,”
“what?”
“what..? nothing! hey, there’s jake and them, let’s go!” she dragged him towards their friend group and sighed in relief.
“you guys are finally here?” jake teased, displaying his full set of teeth as he laid his head on his girlfriend’s shoulders.
y/n nodded. “yeah, i just came on campus.”
“girl, it’s noon!” her friend, ji-woo yelled in disbelief.
“hey, my class is later, so i’m not late!”
“that’s true, at least she’s planning to go to class.” dae chimed in with a shrug in his shoulders.
“exactly! thank you,” the single friend defensively beamed back.
“that’s a first.” min-su uttered, causing cackled laughter to erupt out of the group.
a few topics of discussions immersed before sunghoon intervened with his own — “so i’m planning to ask wonyoung out.”
everyone immediately shifted their gaze to y/n, who had her head slightly drooped down. they knew she liked him. everyone knew, everyone but sunghoon.
but it wasn’t like they could just tell him for her. it wasn’t their place, and she’d honestly rather keep it a secret with how eager he was to be going out with another girl.
y/n softly shook her head ‘no’ towards her three closer friends who intentionally stared at her a little longer than the members. ‘no, don’t say anything, it’s fine’ — she spoke with that head shake.
ji-woo sighed out before uttering, “you’re really gonna go out with her?”
sunghoon’s head tilted to the side in confusion as he responded with a — “yes? is it that surprising?” he turned his attention to jake to get an idea of what his girlfriend meant, only for jake to just awkwardly smile.
“well, you’re just not the type to be that bold, you know?” dae urged, saving ji-woo’s ass.
“yeah, you’re usually more like the guy who just lets stuff happens unintentionally.” min-su said in an attempt to cover their question up.
“baby, i’m sure sunghoon’s just getting more confident with her.” heeseung replied to his girlfriend, intertwining his hands with hers.
y/n’s head slightly bolted before looking at the male who just spoke. they met eyes before he mouthed a ‘sorry’ towards her.
“hee’s right. she just makes me feel confident in being more out there. she’s so sweet, and talks confidently, and..,” sunghoon chattered on.
and it was then that she realized just how different wonyoung and her were.
wonyoung was extroverted, and y/n was introverted.
she was so outgoing and natural in everything she did, and y/n truly admired her for that. she couldn’t ever hate someone who was so unbelievably sweet like wonyoung.
but the two girls were different, and y/n could see just how much sunghoon and her wouldn’t work out. they were too similar, and he needed someone opposite from him.
her. it was her who was like that. wonyoung brought the best in him, and y/n was at least glad for that.
so as hoon kept yapping on about his plan, y/n disassociated with every thought that flooded her head. she couldn’t bare to hear the same words, so the best thing that she could do was just blur out whatever he was saying.
the group took notice and eventually stopped sunghoon.
“hey y/n, doesn’t your class start soon?” dae quickly intervened with an eyebrow raise.
“hm? oh, yeah.. soon.” she blatantly said, no sense of emotion shown.
ji-woo awkwardly laughed as she added, “girl you should start walking.” her chuckle was in an attempt to make light jokes of the situation, but y/n only nodded.
“okay,” she mumbled and got up from the table seat.
“oh, i’ll walk you.” jay uttered, taking the excuse and leaving as well.
sunghoon cocked his head. “what? but i was supposed to walk her. jay??”
“don’t worry, i’ll walk her! her class will be close to mine anyway!” the dark haired boy shouted before catching up to y/n.
“hey,” jay bumped his arm against hers. “you want to talk about it..?”
she sighed as she faced him. his face showed a sickly amount of worry and it only caused her to playfully push his head away.
“does it look like i want to talk about it?” y/n murmured, softly pouting.
jay chuckled. “no, but i’m here if you need me. i know it’s not easy, y/n, and sunghoon’s a little stupid for not seeing that you like him.”
she clicked her tongue as she rolled her eyes. “please, i haven’t shown that i’ve liked him at all. he’s not stupid, he’s just in love with someone else.” when her words actually processed, she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces.
the girl stopped her tracks and lowered her head, causing jay to look back at her with pity.
“y/n..,” he whispered, brows furrowing at her state.
“it’s pathetic, isn’t it?” she chuckled through her pain, tears already flowing down her cheeks. “being in love with someone who only sees me as a friend.”
“it’s not. maybe if you just tell him-“
“what, tell him and make our whole relationship awkward? no. he’s already adamant on going out with her anyway, there’s no point.”
y/n’s head lowered even more, hiding away her puffy, red eyes that were clear in daylight. she let out soft sobs before attempting to shut down her feelings.
✩ ‘promise i don’t mean to cry’ ✩
“sorry, this is gross. i’m not crying anymore, sorry jay-“
✩ ‘but i get overwhelmed and confused’ ✩
in swift seconds, jay pulled her into his embrace and softly squeezed her. “your feelings for sunghoon aren’t stupid. you may be for not telling him any sooner, but your feelings are never invalidated.” he muffled through the hug.
the girl cracked a smile at his words before slapping his arms. “thanks.. that was a little mean but, thanks jay.”
jay beamed a sweet and reassuring smile as he stroked her hair for a second. “what are friends for?” he said.
✩ ‘some day, someone will like me like i like you’ ✩
“are you still planning to go to class?”
“should i..? after i cried..?”
he cackled a laugh, shining a smile towards her before mumbling, “it’s up to you, but i honestly wouldn’t. you can always catch up too..,”
y/n turned her head to look at him. “are you suggesting that you skip with me?”
“who said i was skipping??” the tall male grinned ear to ear as he watched her exasperate a sigh out.
“you cant tell me to skip and not have you skip with me!”
“fine.. i’ll skip with you.” jay sighed in defeat. “but we have to get the others to skip too!”
“deal! i was already texting dae!”
the two laughed before making a weird U-turn from their pathway.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
eventually, their plan to skip only turned into a library study session. and with such short timing, only a few were willing to do it — dae, min-su, ji-woo, and niki.
the rest were either still in class, at home already, or in some cases, asking their crush out.
so when it was just the six in one big table, everything was chaotically quiet.
y/n sat next to her three closest friends while jay and niki silently bickered here and there.
“i cant believe jungwon didn’t come, he’s usually always down for these study sessions.” niki snorted.
“well wonie wasn’t feeling it today so he just went home.” dae butted in, eyes staying glued to his laptop.
jay huffed out a sigh. “this is a little boring.. i thought we were gonna do something more fun when we skipped, y/n.”
“well, we have to catch up for the work we missed.”
“remind me to never skip with you again..,”
the group quietly laughed together as jay continued — “seriously, y/n, what was the point if we were going to do something like study?”
“i just didn’t want to listen to my professor talk,” she scowled.
“let’s go eat somewhere, at least!” the male frowned, eyes rolling at how much she was concentrating.
“i wouldn’t mind eating..,” niki chimed in.
“let’s go!” yelled ji-woo, getting everyone hyped up to leave.
y/n immediately jumped up from her cushioned seat with a beam — “okay! i just have to go pee first.”
“do you want us to wait for you?”
“no it’s fine, jay needs to get the car anyway so just come around the block and i’ll be here.”
a few debates on staying with the girl was made before she ultimately convinced jay to just let them go first.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
once y/n was finally done, she brought herself to the front of the library. as she stepped out, she finally heard the heavy rain drops pour from outside.
the campus was flooded with wet puddles and muddy sidewalks. she exaggerated a sigh as she covered herself with a hoodie.
“should’ve just had someone wait with me,” she mumbled under her breath.
the girl glanced back and forth, from left to right to ensure nothing was in her way, but once she did so, she completely hated the sight she came across.
a few ways down from her once-peripheral vision, y/n saw sunghoon and wonyoung wrapped around each other in a hug.
she immediately found it hard to breathe with how tight her heart began to clench onto every single ache. tears ran through her cheeks as she watched from afar.
the only thing that further confirmed his stated plans from earlier were the dim lights on campus — exhibiting how well hoon was wrapping his arms around her, how well they fit each other like puzzle pieces.
she bit her lips as she tried to swallow back another crying sob, but she just couldn’t help it.
y/n was watching her closest friend fall in love with someone else this entire time, and she’s always been able to somewhat sustain it. but now? now, he would actually be with wonyoung, instead of the girl who’s been in love with him since high school.
✩ ‘if only you knew what i felt like’ ✩
her breath hitched as every memory of her and hoon being potentially more flashed away in an instant. she’d always thought that maybe on some level, she’d get with sunghoon because of how well it went for all three of her close friends to find their special someone from being friends first.
but that little fragment of hope she had left for something possible was now crushed to a pulp.
✩ ‘some day, one day’ ✩
it wasn’t like the movies where the two friends realize their love for each other, and y/n knew that now. because if it was anything like that, hoon wouldn’t have been so excited to tell her everything that he knew about wonyoung.
he would’ve just confessed his feelings, and baam, happy ending.
but yet again, it wasn’t like the movies.
so she harshly wiped her tears away and though no one was around, she couldn’t help but be thankful for the heavy raindrops that blended her tears in with it. a half smile plastered across her face in revelation to that while sighing.
‘happy for you..,’ y/n thought to herself as she pulled out her phone.
✩ ‘i will stop falling in love with you’ ✩
beads of water from the rain plopped on her phone in a quick pace while she texted a family member — ‘can you come pick me up?’
she bit her lips before leaving to her shared group chat with her beloved friends.
y/n <33:
hey.. i just remembered that i have an exam next week so i have to study for it
go ahead and eat without me tho!! my brother’s already on his way so don’t worry abt any of that! :)
jungwon’s bae 🩶:
You have an exam??
Why didn’t you tell us!
Just come out anyway 🥰
hee’s fav 🤍:
yeah one day won’t hurt!
jake’s girl 🫂:
jay’s taking forever but yeah, just come y/n!
y/n’s eyes glistened when she felt another wave of emotions hit her. they didn’t even know she was going through such a thing, and it hurt that she couldn’t tell them yet.
y/n <33:
no it’s okayy, another time!
a buzz to her phone was made before she found her brother pulling up. she ran to the car with a shaky breath, and soon, they drove away from the heartbreaking sight.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
when the girl got home, she immediately ran to her room and sobbed her eyes out. she broke down in a crying mess after holding it in in front of her brother.
tears streamed down her cheeks and snot filled her nose with every hiccup in her throat.
“i’m an idiot,” y/n grumbled in a scratchy whisper.
just then, her phone rang like crazy and she peeked over. her three friends were calling, most likely to call and talk like they do every night, but she couldn’t do it. not right now.
so she declined it, and a few other buzzed calls from them.
y/n ignored the flooding texts of concerns and playful frustrations before coming across a few from sunghoon.
hoonie 🤍:
You busy??
I have to tell you how it went, y/n
Text me back as soon as possible! I have such good news 🙂🙂
her heart sank. of course he had good news, she was there to witness it. but she was a good friend after all.
✩ ‘until i do, i’ll be thinking of you’ ✩
y/n <33:
oh really?? what happened?
✩ ‘then of course i’ll let you break my heart again’ ✩
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
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yuyu1024 · 3 months
Text
Fate
Pairings: Yoongi × y/n
Genre/tags: Arranged marriage
Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 mention of blood/violence/drugs/trafficing, trauma, mention of killing, kidnapping, gun, mention of food/eating/weight, cursing, sensual touching, making out smoking, smut (but not this chapter)
~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 5.2k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
Note:
Part 1 - Prisoner
Part 2 - Escape
Part 3 - Twilight
Part 4 - Fate
A/N: again... im really sorry for being a slow writer/update for this mini series🙏🏻 i can't help it. 😭 I do get msgs asking for updates & i feel bad... so sorry 🥹 I try my best to have time to get into the story/characters whenever i have free time. I work full time and have a 2nd job too so it takes all my energy. I'm really... really sorry.😭
But yeaah, thank you for everyone liking my yoongi fanfic. 🖤🫶🏻 thank you for the patience😭
I hope this chapter is okay ♥️
****
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(Prologue/Flashback)
"Sshh..." she covers your mouth for you to stay quiet and not make any noise. She reminds you constantly to keep it together or else they will find you. "Just a little bit more, Yoongi." She whispers. "Calm down..."
You try your best to do what she says because you want you guys to survive this. To escape. However you are a kid and you are terrified. And you can't stop yourself from shaking like a twig. Also you are rapidly breathing through your nose. Tears even start to fill your eyes as you look into her eyes.
"You'll be fine..." she says to you. "Noona, will protect you."
"I'm scared..." You whisper grabbing onto her long braided hair.
You two are a few inches apart. If she could only embrace you, she will. However there are metal bars between you two and she is.... injured.
"Me too." She wants to cry to as she must be as scared as you or maybe, more. But since she's the eldest between the two of you she have to be brave for you. "Just go to sleep... I promise... the moment you wake up...when the sun is shining after the storm tonight... we'll be safe... we'll already be at home..."
"P-promise?"
She tries her best to not break down because she knows that she's promising something that's very unrealistic in your situation right now. Both of you are held captives, kidnapped and waiting to be saved.
"I promise." She sniffs "Just hold onto this for now..." she meant her hair and then reaches her hand to you slowly even it's causing too much pain for her. "Go to sleep... Noona will be right here..." the tip of her fingers barely touched your cheek. "I will protect you..." she adds
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[Present]
The silence between you two is very deafening. Even the staffs at the mansion notices how both of you are very distant to each other.
Odd right? They should be used to this situation since Yoongi is the silent type or the one who does not talk that much especially to you.
However for you, maybe this is out of character as every one is not used to you being like this. Well THIS silent anyway.
You usually talk and greet them or make small talks with them or Yoongi even if it's just a random question to make him just...talk. You do anything to make him speak to you. You make small efforts to chase his attention just to get him look back at you per say. Like a dog.
But now, since he made sure to leave you the moment you got vulnerable with him during sex and mentioned a feeling you have, which in the first place you had no idea you have, really hurt you this time. Big time. It is a rejection that you never thought would bother you this much.
"You two are awfully quiet." Mrs. Min says as soon as she puts down her cup of coffee on the table. "You two are both quiet originally... I know... but..." she looks at you and Yoongi back and forth twice. "Did you guys had a fight?"
No one answers.
"Guessing...silence means yes?" Mrs. Min looks at us again, hoping someone will speak up. "What did you do?" She asks Yoongi.
But he didn't open his mouth to speak. He just continued on chewing on his breakfast while his eyes are glued to you.
He has been eyeing you since the two of you left the mansion. He have been silently watching you move along, react and walk from your back. You don't notice it as you are trying to achieve to ignore him completely today. And so far, you are a gold medalist at it. You don't even bat an eye on him.
"Fine... not gonna ask anymore questions..." Mrs. Min gives up. "Anyways, after this lunch... I'll have a meeting with Hannah."
Yoongi flinches, finally reacting and gets interested to whatever his mother is saying. "What for?"
"About the private resort project that she is building... she wants my opinion about what brands to use for the decorations. She have a final lists of candidates of brands and she wants to know my say to it."
"Really...."
"Yes... and as soon as it opens... she says you two can go there... and celebrate... as her gift. Since she missed going to your wedding."
"Celebrate?" You finally spoke after how many years. Even Yoongi whip his head to look at you.
"Yes dear," Mrs. Min smiles so brightly and holds your hand. "You're 2nd anniversary... next month... right?"
"Ah, yes... right." You try to smile it away. But deep inside, you are not looking forward to it.
Why would you? Last year Yoongi didn't even greeted you Happy Anniversary. He probably didn't care back then so why would he care now and celebrate this year? This marriage is nothing to him.
"Is she coming here?" Yoongi asks his mother, changing back the subject to Hannah
"No... I am meeting her at her office."
You are holding on for dear life on your gold medal for 'Ignoring my husband award'. You are so curious to look at him. To see his beautiful face, how he reacts when they talk about her. Hannah. The girl you saw more than a year ago. The girl you saw on the driveway, talking to your husband while she hooked her arms on his'. The girl that Yoongi seems interested about. The girl he seems to.... like.
"How about you guys? What are your plans today after our brunch?" Mrs. Min asks
"Hmm.." he sighs heavily and then takes his phone from the table. "Probably fuck my wife " Yoongi answers nonchalantly making you and Mrs. Min almost choke on nothing. That sentence made you even look at him with wide eyes and red cheeks.
"Omo..." Mrs. Min is too stunned to even comprehend what she just heard. "Well... okay... too much information but..." she then takes a sip of her coffee. "You do you."
"I'm sorry..." you apologize to your mother-in-law.
You are embarassed. This topic should be a private matter. Everyone in the mansion already seem to have the idea what you two do on a regular basis but you do hope that outside, no one has to know.
It's not that you are embarassed of having a sex life. It's normal. Yes. But to have to talk about it to his parents, oh dear god, no.
"Why are you apologizing?" Yoongi's face looks so damn serious. "We are husband and wife right?"
You scowl at Him. You don't like how he acts or portrays like sex is just a hobby for him and it's nothing to be embarassed about. Especially in front of his mother while you are present. He really does not treat you like you have any feelings. He is evil.
"Okay... children...children... don't fight about this... it's okay. You already have issues before we got here so... it's fine." Mrs. Min tries to sooth the situation up.
She's so nice to try. Though she does not know the real reason why there is a huge distance between you two today. It's not that simple. You don't even know if she knows how his son treats you.
***
"Sir." Mr. Kim bows as both Yoongi and you arrives at the driveway, about to leave Mrs. Min's property.
"Get in." He orders you
You glare at him then roll your eyes away. You are in no mood now. You have scowled at him earlier already so why not do it more now that he is irritating you.
"Hold on..." he suddenly grabs you by the arm, stopping you from getting in the car. "Did you just fucking roll your eyes at me?" He scoffs
You try your best to pull your arms from his grip but he is stronger than you. "Let me go." You grunt
"What are you doing?" He asks, "You've been.... acting up lately..."
"I don't know...what you're talking about..." you finally freed yourself from his grip.
"Don't act innocent on me... I know you."
"Know me?" You snap. "How? We barely talked these past two years... You only look for me when you want something done and someone to fuck...besides that, I am nothing to you. So how the fuck will you know me?"
Finally! You've said something. However you can't lie to yourself how terrified you are right now. Your legs are shaking. You have never risen your voice like this before. Not with him. Plus Yoongi is so freaking silent. There was no reaction from him not like Mr. Kim who just coughed because of the sudden tension.
Is he in shock? He must be surprised to hear you speak out after all this time. He had never heard you talk like this before. You can't even read his expression. He is just looking down at you, straight on.
"Ahm... Sir... Miss... I'll leave you two... alone." Mr. Kim finally broke the awkward silence. "Just message me if... we're going home."
You glance at him and bow. Also giving an apologetic look since the situation got a bit serious.
And as soon as Mr. Kim is gone from our sight, Yoongi takes a step forward closer to you, making you back up and your behind bumping on the car. "Is that... what you think?"
You glare up at him. "Yes."
"You think... I don't know you?"
"Yes."
He chuckles. "I know you more than you know..."
You frown. "You only see me when you are horny... you don't even talk to me unless to I ask you... unless you tell me what to do and what not to do... so, how would you know anything about me...?"
He scrunches his face. He looks irritated "I see you more than you think." He mumbles. And then he took a step back and looks at you and watch you tremble,"Do you regret it?" He asks
"W-what? Regret what?"
"The sex... do you regret it?"
"W-what? What do you mean...?"
He then puts both his hands on the car, trapping you between. "Just answer the question... do you hate and regret the sex?"
You look away. "No...."
"Do you want us to stop fucking?"
You sigh heavily. "Why are you focusing on the sex?!?" Your brows are furrowed. You are really showing your frustration. "It's not about the sex, Yoongi! There is nothing wrong with the sex... what I just want is... I just..." you look back at his face and you see an empty expression from him. Does he not get what you are saying or is he ignoring the other parts of what you told him. That the only thing he thinks about is your sex life. "Never mind..." you lower your gaze. "It's not like my opinion matter..."
"Y/N..." Yoongi begins. You look back st him waiting for whatever he's about to say. You think he was about to response to you or maybe say what is on his mind as well. (Maybe.) However, both of you got suddenly distracted by the honk of a black sedan car entering the property.
You have seen that car before. It is familiar. And then when it stops and someone steps out of the car...
"Yoongi?" The woman that came out of the passenger seat, is Hannah. "What are you doing here?"
She is smiling ear to ear. Her smile is as bright as her tear drop pear earrings that is perfectly shown under her tucked bob hair. She's... so pretty.
"Oh... Hi..." she waves at you when she finally notices you
"Hi." You try to smile as brightly as you can.
"You must be Yoongi's beautiful wife." She is sweet. She looks like a friendly and easy going person. "I'm Hannah by the way... I'm Yoongi's friend since we're... toddlers..."
"Nice to meet you." You bow
"What are you doing here? Mother said..."
"Ah... yes... we we're supposed to meet at my office but I just came from another meeting and since we will pass by the house I decided to just meet her now..." she explains
"She must be in her room now.. preparing to meet you."
"Oh. I see... well, I guess I'll just surprise her." She grins. "Are you guys leaving?"
"Yeah... we just had brunch with her..."
Fuck. What is going on?
Just a second ago, you're having a serious confrontation with your husband. You guys are about to talk about the situation between you two. Yes, it may not be the ideal 'talk' but it is a start. But then, here you are. Hannah arrived and stole his full attention. Literally, she have all his eyes and ears. You suddenly became a shadow.
Then you are also hearing Yoongi converse. You are hearing how is he when he's not alone with you. You are hearing a side of him that you are not familiar with. 'Fuck Y/N, stop it.' You say yourself
Maybe, you just need to stop. Just stop complaining about his attention and him not liking you. Maybe he is not the problem. Maybe.. it's you? They forced him to marry and got stucked with you. YOU are the problem. You are NOT the person he wanted to marry. You just got selected just because.
You are the problem. As always. Like what everybody says to you.
"I'll just email you my thoughts after..." Hannah says
"Why not discuss it now?" Yoongi suggests
"Hmm...but you're about to leave..." she glances at you
"It's okay." Yoongi then pulls out his phone and messages someone. "I asked Mr. Kim to come... wait for him... I'll be quick." He says to you
You look at him for a second before you turn your back on him. "Sure." You sound lifeless. You sounded like you've given up already.
"Y-yoongi... you're going to make her wait?" She whispers to him but you care definitely hear it
"Let's make it quick. I don't want to work over the weekend."
He's more worried of working on the weekend but not making you stay and wait all alone.
They start to walk away. You could see their reflection through the windows of the car.
They left you alone.
He left you alone.
Then as you are standing there, waiting for Mr. Kim to come back, you slightly bend over your torso, holding onto the yourself as soon as you felt a little uncomfortable feeling on your lower abdomen. It's not painful but it is a bit of discomfort.
"Fuck..." you hiss under your breathe.
You should be careful now. Atleast until it's fully confirmed. Yes, you are pregnant. Well, that's what the PT told you a few days ago.
You took the test, in your bathroom, scared and shaking like a twig. You have never felt this terrified in your life. Ever. And the freaking 3mins of waiting felt like forever whilst you are in there, sitting on the floor.
But yeah, after the torture of waiting, the test did show two lines. It was a faint but it is positive. And during that moment, your world suddenly stopped spinning. You had to gather your thoughts and emotion within the span of 30mins that you have. (Because your maid will enter your bathroom to help you get ready after 30mins). That was one other toture you had to endure. And to add more spice on this never ending problem is that you were all ALONE. You had no one to hold hands or hug for moral support.
You are, all by yourself.
After testing, you did processed the result in your mind and managed to get back right to reality and decide by yourself to be... okay. To take it as another good day. Because this is not something bad. It is a miracle. It's a life.
Though, you can't lie. It was a whirlwind of emotion. And you don't know what to feel yet about it. You are not even sure if you are able to share it with anyone, even Yoongi since you still need to see a doctor to really confirm it.
Confirmation.
You fucking need that final 'yes you are pregnant'. Because your further decisions in life will revovle around that one thing. Decisions that might affect this marriage and basically affect your whole life. So, you really have to find a way to get a doctor's appointment in secret. For now...
"Miss?" Mr. Kim arrives and sees you slouching, "Is everything alright?"
You turn around, stands up straight and smile. "Yes..."
"Are you hurt?" He asks
"I'm fine... but I just think... my stomach feels heavy a bit from eating... I did ate quite a bit." You lie.
"Okay, let me bring you home quick so you could rest." He says
"Thank you."
****
[Yoongi's side]
Yoongi can't sleep. He got home earlier just an hour after Y/N got home. He asked the maids to call her, to have dinner with him, but unfortunately Y/N was already fast asleep.
He waited for her to wake up from what he thinks is just a quick nap. But whenever he asks the maid if she's up, they just shake their head and say sorry.
They fought. He thinks. It felt like they fought. It's his first time hearing her talk to him like that. She have been always timid and her patience with him is very long. However, she finally have had it.
How can you make your wife, who is clearly showing you that she's falling in love with you, start to hate you?
Well, Yoongi knows what he did and is doing to her. He is very controlling, cold and distant. And these are the traits that can't be part of your life especially of you are married. However, this is how he is. As a child no, but ever since the incident happen fifteen years ago, the trauma and the life he had to put through made him, This.
Outsiders might call him as the devil or the punisher of the Min Family because of all the work he is doing inside the office and outside. He is a fighter and his hands are always covered with blood. Though what he's doing is not a crime. The Min's business is not illegal. They control everything that they can do end everything that is illegal in the most legal way possible. If that makes sense.
They were just a business before. A typical rich family. But yeah, since what had happened to them years ago, they changed their rules and how they do it now.
And that's why Yoongi have this cold exterior. He needs to show to everyone who's watching him that he can't falter. That no one could try to even break him like how those monsters break his father. How those monster took them and made them hostages.
10 million. That's all it takes, for some uneducated humans do the most horrendous thing in this world. To hurt and kill an innocent child. A 16yrs old girl and a 14yr old boy.
Their parents were willing to give the money and even more, just for them to surrender their children. However, the fear in them when they know that the children saw their faces, made them decide to end it all.
Yuna, his older sister, sacrificed her life to save Yoongi. She is one brave young lady. She managed to push his brother just in time to fall on the edge, to roll down small hill and get away through the woods. She got shot and died on the spot. Yoongi saw everything but didn't had the time to grieve then and there because he had to survive yet. To run.
It took two more days before he was found. How he survived? No one knows. But since that day, the happy and cheerful little boy grew up and became the cold Yoongi everyone knows now.
He knows that what he have been through is not an excuse to treat his wife so coldy like this. She was only forced the marry him. She didn't even know him. Which is his fault as well because he didn't allow her to enter his bubble. Up to now...
However, through all the times that he have been with her little by little, as per his therapist's words, 'You are slowly breaking.' She said.
She said that before, whenever she asks him about his wife. He is usually nonchalant or indifferent. Like he's just talking about someone he randomly met. But then one day, the therapists said, she saw a glimpse of change in his eyes the moment she asks about his wife. His expression is the same but his eyes started to shift like he's thinking about it more before he speaks.
'You care. You just don't know how to show it' she said to him.
At first, When Yoongi heard that from his therapist, he got worried. Not because He is starting to have this feeling for his wife. No. His wife is never and will never be a bad thing that happened to his life. He is worried because, what if he breaks his cold exterious and somewhere out there in the world takes advantage of it and what happened years ago will happen again?
That is his only concern. That is why, he added more men. That's why Y/N can't leavr a house alone. That's why he always tracks her phone wherever she is. That's why he can't sleep without know if she is fine or not.
If only... he never had these issues, these traumas from the past, maybe... it's easier.
"Please... don't quit on me..." he says out loud as he closes his eyes, imagining the smiling face of his wife. "Don't... leave me..." he mutters
****
After what it seems like a very, very long day for you you're finally home. You are so tired that the first thing you did after getting changed is sleep. It feels like this is the longest you've slept in like forever.
You keep turning and waking up every now and then but your body kept forcing you to not wake up. It's like its telling you that you needed this. After all of the worrying you have been having these past few days. This sleep is for you.
But then maybe after hour five of sleeping, you felt something cold touch your skin. It didn't sting. It oddly felt good.
Slowly opening your eyes, you see a blurred figure in front of you. He's so close that you could actually smell his scent. The smell of baby powder.
"Yoongi?" You ask softly as your eyes slowly adjusted to the little light of your lamp shade. But no one answered back. You then rub your eyes to wake yourself up a bit more. Just to be surez you saw what you saw.
No one. There's no one there.
"Did I... just dream about him?" You ask, looking at the ceiling. "But I swear..." you trail off. "How funny... even in my dream... I see him..."
But you swear you smelled his scent. Your imagination of him is getting stronger. Your memory of him is getting move vivid. Even the smell now. That's how longing you are of him.
You miss him. Even though he is there  you miss him. Oddly, you miss the time that both of you are just sitting down together in his home office and just reading. You miss casually asking him questions. You miss hearing him talk even though he's talking about his work and not to you. You miss him even though you just saw him earlier. Even though... he hurt you.
His scent. The scent you really, really like. His smell whenever you two have sex. It's not strong but it's there. Whenever you close your eyes and drift away from the high, you know you are okay as long as you could smell and hear him.
Fuck. Is this how being in love is?
Just thinking about him makes you want to cry. You are frustrated at him but at the same time frustrated to yourself as well. Why is communicating is so hard? You know that's the issue. Both of you are not good with talking nor expressing yourselves. Well, that's what Taehyun told you earlier.
Yeah, you went on a side trip earlier before going home, to meet your friend at his work. You needed someone to talk to and you know Taehyung is always there ready to listen to you.
You poured your heart out earlier, crying and all. You were sorry for disturbing him at work but you needed that cry and that hug. You had to told him your feelings about Yoongi. You have to say it out loud for you to truely understand the situation and yourself.
You needed someone's opinion to point out the obvious so it could stick in to your brain.
Growing up to a family where your opinion does not matter took a toll on you as well. Especially to an adoptive family. A family that only needed you for money.
To them, you always feel left out and does not deserve a voice. They always tell you that they only gave you a roof above your head and food to eat because you are what they needed. A piggy bank.
Your parents died in an accident years ago, when you are just 12yrs old. There was a police chase in the highway that rainy day. Every one is on high alert and giving way. But well, the criminals weren't exactly running away and trying to avoid cars. They hit quite a few vehicles during the chase and one of them was your parent's. The crash caused an explosion, killing them in an instant.
And like any drama stories on TV, yout aunt took you in because of your parent's insurance. They are not big but it is a decent amount. However, they could not actually touch it since it is saved for your education that's why the first month of you staying with them was torture. They beat you, make you work and starve you from time to time because they said, 'you don't deserve to eat unless you work for it'.
One reason why starving yourself was easy for you when you need to.
But then things changed a bit when someone knocked on the door one day and gave your adoptive parents a good amount of money. You remember the man saying 'this is for the trouble and lost we caused your family during our battle for saving our children.' You do remember you aunt, being a good actress that day, crying and all. You even saw them be in a good mood. Everyday because of that money. So since then, whenever you have a part time job or one good seasonal job, you save up and give it to them.
You do this not because you want them to be happy. You do this because you wanted peace for yourself. They will not hurt you if you give them what they need.
This is one reason too why you accepted this marriage. Even though, you know you will have trials too. But atleast you know, no one is going to hurt you physically anymore.
Though, you are having troubles now too.... it is still different. Like you said, it is the communication.
Is it all Yoongi's fault? No. Taehyung said that maybe, since I'm very submissive and him being very dominant, grew up giving orders or not listening to anyone because he is who he is, it affected the talking part in the relationship. Though he cannot say that it is a hundred percent fact. Because he explain, everyone have different stories of growing up and these affects every facet of their whole being when they get old.
Well, that's what you got from all his talk. Half of it, you are numb from all the crying and can't hear properly.
Though that talk with Taehyung,you needed that. Now all you have to do is talk to Yoongi.
If.... you have the courage too.
It is so hard to start a conversation not knowing how he feels about you. It is scary and a risk. But you are hoping it will turn out good especially now that you are expecting.
"Oh, right! The result!" You got up immediately and grab your phone.
You visited Taehyung in the hospital and he got to help you get a blood test to confirm. You forgot to talk to him about the result because you two are busy with doing friend therapy. He said, he'll just email you the result.
But then as you were scrolling scrolling through your emails your stomach growls. "I'm hungry..." you mumble and pause. "Taehyung said that if I am really pregnant... I need to eat properly now..."
And you haven't eaten dinner since you just slept since you came home. You need to eat.
Looking at the time it's pass 10pm already. Everyone must be asleep now or getting to bed so you must go and make yourself food yourself.
"Just one toast." You say as you push your blanket away. "Or two..."
You walk along the hallways as quietly as you can and then take the stairs instead of the elevator, going to the upper ground, so you could not disturb anyone.
There is still minimal light coming from the kitchen area. 'Maybe someone is still there?' You thought to yourself and hoping it is one of the maids so they could help you grab the things in the pantry. Since you don't really know how they organize it.
But then the second you turn to the corner, to enter the doorway
"Ah!" You hit your head first at something. Or at someone
Then after collecting yourself from bumping on someone, you look up to see who it was. "Sorry, I wasn't looking at--"
Fuck! It's not Yoongi nor anyone of the staff.
You tried to run back and scream but it was too late. He was quick to cover your mouth with a cloth. A scented cloth. The smell quickly pierced your nostrils and immediately made you feel dizzy and sleepy.
You are barely awake but you know he carried you over his shoulder. You could see the floor and the lights slowly to flicker. You are about to loose it.
'Help... Someone.... Yoongi... please...' You say to yourself before totally loosing consciousness.
-----
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nouvxllev · 4 months
Text
closed-door policy || p3
Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem!Reader
Summary: Even if the sky were to fall under the three of you, you still couldn't believe that Wednesday Addams was standing right beside you, indirectly inviting you to a goddamn date in front of the entire student body.
Words: 5.2k
Warning: slight angst???
a/n: just a little update before i get kicked in the ass with assignments and exams
part 1 || part 2 || masterlist
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You open your eyes, a blaring alarm clock from your phone blasting in your ears, only to wake up to an empty bed. Your empty bed. You look off to the side, where Wednesday was usually supposed to be, but none. No one.
A headache started to form, but it was fine, you'd think. It was one of the many post-party clarities you'd have. It wasn't even the worst one out of the many. Leaving only you to blame, and a groan to escape your lips as you massaged your temple.
You could almost throw up if not drinking a cup of water sitting next to your bedside table, wondering if it was even drinkable to begin with because of the aftertaste you experienced.
With a sigh, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed. Trying to stand up but kept grounded by whatever the fuck you were feeling now.
It was only so early in the morning. 6:30 displayed on your phone, the brightness overwhelming. Wednesday was always someone who got up in the earliest parts of the day. But you'd always find her sitting perfectly still at her desk, typing away whatever idea she had on her typewriter. It was the usual, the everyday thing. Until now. You don't know what changed her mind.
You closed your eyes, desperately hoping the nauseating headache would pass soon. You sit there, still as a board, your fists clenching around the fabric of your bedsheets. Until Thing, an appendage you once found horrifying to the point you locked yourself out of the dorm, approached you with a sticky note attached to his… fingers, body?
Reaching out for the sticky note, Thing signed. 'Wednesday left it. For you, I could only think.'
With heavy eyes, you read what was on the page.
"Forget what happened yesterday, everything."
Of course, you thought to yourself. Atleast she wrote it with her pure coherent handwriting. That's a plus.
Wednesday was always like this the night before. Acting as if the both of you weren't in love. Or atleast, had something going on in between. You didn't know anymore.
"Thanks, Thing." You replied before throwing the note into the trashcan.
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Love had a way of wrenching itself into people's hearts; completely tearing them apart, limb by limb as they succumb to the fatal reality of unrequited love. If not death, it'll be love.
Day and night, her living wake, she shouldn't fall in love with someone. Again. Even in a million years, she'd rather be left alone with the reaper instead of someone by her side. Yet, she couldn't erase what she willingly felt for you. Though, unwillingly or willingly, she was in love. With you. Of all people. In and of itself felt terrifying.
She knew you wanted something more. Your eyes said it all, every time you talked to her you'd say words that should've been left unsaid, your presence itself made her know you wanted something more of the relationship she gave you. It was written all over you, etched in everything you do.
But that was the problem.
You were too in love with her.
Wednesday was afraid she couldn't love you as much as you loved her.
It was unforgiving, she knew, how she was leading you onto a label that meant nothing but quiet sighs amongst closed doors. It wasn't false hope that she offered, nor was it a mere hoax, Wednesday herself is still madly in love with you. She just denies it over and over.
She didn't mean to take it too far. To continuously bring you over to her side, kiss your worries away and the hefty pain that lingered on your soul, whispering whatever you wanted to hear. She didn't mean to be so vulnerable that it led her to a situation of long nights. Acting as if everything is fine, normal as it is. As if nothing ever happened, you never happened.
As much as she wants to get rid of you, get rid of whatever she was feeling about you, she needs you.
Your voice lingered. Echoing somewhere in her brain, in her heart dare she say. Your kisses remained on her stained lips, your touch persisted their warmth on her body, everything. Everything about you stayed, you stayed.
Wednesday needed you more than she could ever need someone in her life, she needed you more than she needed air to keep on living. You were her heartbeat that kept her alive all this time. It's confusing, even for her, how you were a paradox that Wednesday loved and hated how she knew you loved her back.
The many times you've mistakenly said 'i love you.' And the many times your eyes shimmered with hope that Wednesday would say it back. Of course, she never did. Instead, she wished that you'd take it back, take your undying love for her back and stuff it away deep into your heart where no one can reach it.
Wednesday wanted to erase it. Forget, forget, forget, repeats inside her brain, dawning on her. But she couldn't. She wouldn't.
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You don't know how many seconds had passed when Wednesday walked by you, ignoring the simple hi and wave you offered to her. Of course, you kept on walking. Same old chatter surrounded your being, your four friends laughing along with the stride of your feet. But your mind wandered off to somewhere else, not really tuning in to whatever your friends had to say.
You could hear Enid asking her from the distance, asking her why she wasn't more friendly with you as if she didn't just go out of her way to rescue you from whoever the fuck that girl was yesterday. Truth be told, you could ask her the same question. Would you though? 'Course not.
It's not unusual for Wednesday to completely ignore you, or to glare at you like you've cursed her entire family bloodline with a single greeting. What is usual is for Wednesday to carefully drop a note into your bag.
'Quad. After class.
Signed, Wednesday Addams.'
Signed, Wednesday Addams, she writes. As if she wasn't the only person who makes out with you in secluded areas.
You read every stroke she wrote. Every word, every note that graces the pocket of your bag you always made sure to open whenever you pass by Wednesday, every time she turns around just slightly to read your expression when you open her note. You couldn't help but wonder if Wednesday will ever, one day, stop to think about adding more than just the location and what time will it be.
But you'd have better luck at dying first.
"Hey. . . Party. . . y/n!"
Words start to blur as you think to yourself even more. Would Wednesday ever give you something more than just a loose piece of paper she found lying across her trashcan? Would Wednesday ever think of you as someone she enjoys being with instead of the whole friends-with-benefits thing? Would Wednesday ever love you as much as you love her? Does Wednesday even give two shits about you?
"Y/n!"
You turned your head around, the note in your hands immediately being crumpled and stuffed into your pockets. Damn, why was everyone yelling your name all of a sudden this week?
"Yeah, hey," You started, stopping in your tracks when your friends stopped too.
"The party? The one that fur guy sent out?" Your friend asked, their arms crossed and leaning against a wall. "Calling all furs! Or some lame invitation." Right. You almost forgot the reason you went to an outcast among outcasts school.
'God, it's only been a day since the last party. Don't you guys get tired of doing this shit and doing the same fucking people?' You almost say. You were glad you caught yourself before words came flying out of your mouth. But you weren't wrong, parties were becoming consistent, and you couldn't attend them like usual without having to sit in bed for atleast 20 minutes to question your self-worth.
Maybe Wednesday's constant refusal did rub off on you.
"Can't go." You randomly blurted out, too quick for your friends to start noticing something's different about you.
"And why?" The other chimed in, immediately asking of you, you can sum up that all four of them were suspicious. "You always go with us every time! What happened?"
"I have homework. From Ms. Cadie. I really need to submit it by tomorrow. I can't fail her class this time."
All of them laughed. "Since when did you care about homework and Ms. Cadie?"
Your other friend agreed, slightly nodding their head. "The last time I've heard Ms. Cadie's name come out of your mouth is when you started talking about how fucked up it was for her to give you a low grade and how you would've torn up the exam paper if given the chance."
You shrugged it off. "I'm a changed person."
"Bullshit!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's amazing how somebody could ramble about so many at once, yet ramble about absolutely nothing or just something that literally has no sense whatsoever.
It was unfair. Sure, you loved Wednesday, you shouldn't be at the quad after class pretending to fawn over some guy on the bench with your palm resting on your chin, acting like he was the most important person in the world even though he probably doesn't know how to strike up something interesting as a conversation topic. But you would. Just for the small price of Wednesday glaring knives at him, and probably more at you too.
If having to meet death for the second time in a row to get an ounce of attention from Wednesday outside in terms of the closed-door policy, you would've been doing that ages ago if it weren't for her constantly locking you up in their dorm after night or after parties and something following you around.
Right now, you could've been enjoying your time with Wednesday. Letting her hands roam all over your body, kissing you as if you were the only person who mattered in this entire world. But no, you decided to see how early you'd face death. Or in short: You just wanted to see Wednesday jealous.
Childish, sure, you'd admit, but the way you would often sneak a glance over at her table with Enid, you could see how eager she was to snap the guy's head off. She could never be so gorgeous.
Your body leaned into him, your head tilting ever so slightly to get his attention, a sly smile gracing your lips even though you wanted to scowl at him for the 100th time.
"So..." The guy paused, anticipation waiting in his eyes as his leg rocked back and forth, "the Rave'Ns coming up and—"
"It is?" Your eyes locked onto his, eyebrows furrowed. A hint of surprise in your voice.
"Yeah, next week, and well," he continued, a smirk playing on his lips, "I was thinking we could go together. You know, on a date." He looked confident, you'd give him that. You almost felt pity for him for what you were about to say.
"I—"
"She'll be attending with me."
A sudden cold voice cut through the conversation, interrupting your soon-to-be-rejection. You turned to find Wednesday standing there, her eyes attempting to murder the guy in front of you.
Even if the sky were to fall under the three of you, you still couldn't believe that Wednesday Addams was standing right beside you, indirectly inviting you to a goddamn date in front of the entire student body.
You stayed silent, thanking whoever was up there for gracing you for this moment.
The guy scoffed, maybe too confident for your liking to scoff at The Wednesday Addams. "You don't even—"
"L/N owes me."
Her voice was stoic, collected even. But it carried so much intent that made his expression falter. Even you couldn't read what was inside her head, you could only hope it was an intricate 50-plan very gruesome murder of the guy.
"You have a ten-second window before I remind you that I have the physical and mental capacity to skin you alive to substitute your bones and follicles as a bow for my cello."
"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He put his hands up in surrender, carefully standing up and backing away. He muttered a half-assed apology, and you could hear his voice trembling. But even so, he still had the damn guts to meet your gaze. "I'll see you around, Y/n."
You turned to Wednesday, watching her face morph into a scowl. A twitch in her lips. Just how you liked it.
"See you around!" You yelled, waving goodbye while a smile was playing on your lips, knowing damn well Wednesday was regretting ever doing something remotely nice to you.
Wednesday's scowl deepened, you know of it. Just because she immediately grabbed your wrists, not caring once for the people who were staring bullets when she dragged your lovesick body around, leading you into a secluded area.
"So we're on a last-name basis now, Addams?" You teased as you stepped in front of Wednesday who was leaning against a wall, a grin appearing on your face even though your heart couldn't restrain your hands needily wrapping around her waist. "Thought you were better than that."
Wednesday looked you up and down, though you could see her façade falter at your simple touch. "You seem to have a hard time remembering anything beyond pathetically flirting with someone." Her eyes narrowed, crossing her arms. "You were supposed to meet with me."
"So what you're just spouting at me is that," you pause for a slight moment, relishing in the way Wednesday looked at you with that stoic expression. "You're jealous?" You whispered, a raspy voice coming out of your throat.
"I don't indulge in such an emotion. Let alone wear it."
You pushed her even further. "Oh, but you've tried it on so many times, Willa. I think you're getting used to it."
There was silence in the room. The confidence you were reflecting was starting to falter, you were about to say a thousand-word essay on the spot saying how you were so sorry for even talking back to her.
Wednesday let out a deep breath. "I didn't bring you here to argue." She leaned in, her lips almost in touch with yours. You could feel her breath on your skin, and you could see almost every feature she carried on her face. She didn't need to say anything more, you loved her as much as you loved kissing her.
---------------------------TIME SKIP----------------------------------
"Holy shit... Willa!"
You yelled, barging into the shared room the two of you lived in for the semester, dressed up and everything. It wasn't too fancy, nor was it too horrible up to your standards. It was just you overall, and you were comfortable with that.
"Get your shit together, we're gonna be late for the Rave'N!" You paced around the room, hoping to see an already dressed up and ready-to-go Wednesday Addams with that perfect scowl on her face and her go-to threat about how she'd rather do this instead of attending the Rave'N a second time.
But you had to remind her; she was the one who invited you.
You stopped over the vanity mirror you brought for the two of you, fixing the fabric of your clothes, trying to get it as neatly as possible.
You heard a turn of a doorknob behind you. "Damn, what took you so long? I was about toooohhhh…. holy shit."
You looked at Wednesday in the mirror, there she stood—looking absolutely gorgeous. It was truly unfair how she could steal your heart within mere seconds, and it was unfair how the world depicts heaven as something after death when it's right here in front of you.
Wednesday could've chosen not to do anything, and not to follow whatever the dress code was at the Rave'N, but here she was. The outfit complemented her style, her eyes, her soul, her everything—it suited her. More so than most. Of course, it was an all black gown just like her previous Rave'N attire, but it seemed she changed it up a bit, adding subtle details that captured the essence of her entire being.
You turned around, coughing whatever was magically stuck in your throat. Maybe the urge to make out with her the entire night.
"You—You look.." Fuck, you almost choked on your words. "You look, menacing. Yeah." Your last breath almost came out as a whisper of relief, a sigh of someone who’s been charmed till their dying moments. It wasn't the typical compliment you'd give to someone, but it was the compliment that always had Wednesday smirk.
"You're making quite the commotion about a stereotypical party amongst teenage adults," she remarked, walking towards you, her voice carrying that distinct calmness that bordered on some sort of intent.
"Didn't you attend this before?" You said, fixing her collar, "It's like a prom, Wednesday, think about it," you replied with a playful grin. Your hands firmly tugging the points of the collar to not immediately pull her into a crushing hug.
"People don't usually persuade someone by making it worse."
"You're the one who invited me." You pointed to Wednesday, then to yourself. You always loved the crease in Wednesday's eyebrows whenever you pointed out something correct.
Wednesday arched an eyebrow, crossing her arms while she looked at you up and down. "I invited you out of—"
"Jealousy?" You immediately chimed in, a huge smile tugging on your lips, already knowing what the answer was. Until it faltered because of Wednesday's dark gaze dawning on yours.
"—Necessity." She continued her own sentence. "This is not because I enjoy such affairs. Nor jealousy as you assume."
You laughed, a way to hide the creeping blush that was making their way to your cheeks. "Right, necessity. Because every person like you attends a prom as a need, not because they wanted to scare away a poor guy out of flirting with her girl."
The last two words slipped out almost accidentally and immediately, your bold confidence almost fading away as your throat slightly cracked. But it was fine; seeing how Wednesday had that perfect blush tinted on her face. You could almost paint every sunset that ever was to adore this world with the color of your soul whenever you see it.
She cleared her throat, her eyes averting yours. "Don't hold your breath."
"Just a bit of harmless teasing. Sorry, Wends." You power-walked your way over the door, a tinge of embarrassment coloring your cheeks and invading your brain. You turned the knob, opening the door for her as a silent gesture that the conversation should probably just stop and end.
Wednesday walked through the door, her usual stoic expression back in place, though the faint blush never wavered away. She never fails to make you smile like a complete fool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Okay, I just have to lay a ground rule before we enter."
You stepped in front of Wednesday, meeting her gaze with your own serious or scowl expression. Music coming from the Rave'N was blasting in your ears as if it was a sonic boom, the bass coming alive as your body vibrated.
"Please do make it quick before I flee the scene with a decapitated head along my hands." Wednesday squinted, her tone almost disgusted. You could tell that the flashing lights and smoke machines surrounding the Rave'N wasn't really Wednesday's scene; that should've been obvious by now.
"I know you were upset at your last Rave'N because of the prank thing, and—"
"It was simply inane. Unforgivable, even."
"...Right," you nodded slowly, almost concerned with how passionate she was about the subject matter. "Buuut, please don't recorrect their doings. Even if it was 'unforgivable' as you say. You know, with real blood."
Wednesday's eyes narrowed slightly, a tilt in her head. "I make no promises, y/n."
You clicked your tongue, giving her a slight nod of acknowledgment, turning your heel, and letting Wednesday follow suit. "Good enough reassurance for my conscious about aiding and abetting your future crimes."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The two of you stepped into the life of the party, or rather the complete chaos was it all. You knew the Rave'N as some kind of formal event that Nevermore always held but couldn't be bothered to attend, but you did know that it was always held delicately with the hands of the teachers.
And, fuck, you were so wrong.
Ever since Weems died, and a new principal took her position, the event was nothing compared to a typical frat party you were always getting dragged into.
There were bodies on the floor, laid down and absolutely fucked out of their mind, standing up, hell there was even someone on the ceiling.
The air was completely occupied with the scent of alcohol terribly not-so-hidden by the mix of juices and something else that you couldn't quite identify and would rather stay that way for the rest of your life. There was that occasional harmonized (somehow) burst of laughter from the students who attended, the dance floor wasn't that filled with people but it was enough to get pushed around on.
Drinks and food were scattered on the sides, and you of all were surprisingly amazed that they weren't trampled to death and shattered into pieces.
"Oh, God." You muttered to yourself, already expecting Wednesday to have disappeared the moment you turned your head.
Until you were met with the same girl, looking like the perfect balance between chaos and tranquility with her presence.
"You do realize you have approximately five seconds to persuade me to continue further before I maim you from head to toe and taxidermy your flesh." She quipped while you gulped. The sentence alone made you feel like you were being maimed.
"I plead the fifth," you held your right hand up high as you faced Wednesday. "You don't have to enjoy it. Just stay with me, alright?" You lowered your hand, offering it to Wednesday, "I am your date after all. You can't just abandon a girl like that."
Wednesday could only look at you up and down, she has a habit of it doesn't she, giving you a bland look before walking down the steps and over to the drinks table. Completely ignoring your rather pathetic attempt at holding hands with her.
With a sigh, you followed her oddly fast-paced walk. "Oh, so you can fuck me sideways and back on our balcony but you draw the line at holding my hand?"
"I rather not use such vulgar terms, but precisely."
"Okay, Wednesday, I wasn't the one who was whispering how much you wanna bend me over and absolutely—"
She suddenly stopped, turning her body to face yours. "Should've stapled then skinned your mouth the time we stepped out of the dorm." You almost missed how Wednesday's cheeks had that slight red tint on them, and how her eyes softened just a tiny bit.
"But how else are you able to kiss me?" you teased, your hands going behind your back as you looked at Wednesday with a lopsided grin plastered on your face, just how Wednesday loathed it.
She looked up at you, crossing her arms while she lowered her voice down to something of a whisper, a sultry hint to it. "I'm sure there are other areas you want me to kiss."
"Well, aren't you a mind-reader?"
"Oh, aren't you insufferable?" Wednesday rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop a subtle smile tugging at her lips.
The two of you enjoyed the party, somewhat. A little bit more than the other one, but it was nice to be in eachothers presence with everyone around you. Not just behind closed doors.
It was awkward just to be standing there, your hands clutching the edge of the table while Wednesday had hers perfectly placed in front of her. It was the dynamic that you always noticed; one neat, one... not so neat, but she tries.
It was peaceful, peaceful enough for the party scene going on around the two of you, until a certain someone showed up. Holding himself a drink and his hands digging in his pockets.
"Surprised to see you guys here." Ajax approached you, giving the both of you a slight nod of acknowledgment while you just smiled. You didn't know if Wednesday gave him a scowl or just plain-out ignored him.
"Hey, 'Jax. Not surprised you're here." you replied with the friendliest smile you could give to a guy like him. Not like you hated him, you just wanted to be with Wednesday without any company as of now.
Ajax shifted slightly under Wednesday's gaze, discomfort crossing his features before he recovered with a casual shrug. "Figured I'd join in before exams start," he said, taking a sip of his drink.
"I'm surprised Wednesday took you out instead of the other way round."
Your eyes lit up, finally having a topic you'd enjoy. "Well, she actually—"
"I have to prevent her from getting into trouble like the last very few times. A roommate is only someone with the same residence space, nothing more and nothing less. Far than a friend."
Oh, right.
"Right," you replied, pulling your lips to a thin line to mask the disappointment you felt. "Just roommates."
It stung, sure.
Yeah, that's it. It just stung. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Could've gone without the last few sentences." You mumbled to yourself, your voice brittle.
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Hearing the girl who you convinced yourself to be your forever and the love of your life dismiss your relationship with her as something no more than roommates and less than friends felt like shit. But it was fine. You weren't dealing with a fuck ton of relationship baggage and having to lie that all your 'I love you's' to her were just something to keep whatever you guys have going on light just for you to cry about something like that. Even when you could and would.
But having to stare from the sidelines at a guy flirting with said love of your life with a punch clenched around your palms a little bit too tight that you went over to just for her. Worst is, you knew the guy for being a stuck-up dickhead who has his own cock far up his head.
Oh, how you hated Xavier Thorpe.
Fuckzone is bad enough, but friendzoned? Completely-abolished-by-some-random-dudezoned? But for the record, you too were aimlessly flirting around with another guy for her attention instead of making out with her in some remote area. Maybe this was the karma everyone was talking about.
"People say if you stare at him for a while longer his head might start going in circles."
"Holy shit!" You turned around, a bit spooked, but it was just Enid. The bright bubbly sunshine you always needed in times when you were surrounded by whatever thoughts you were thinking about. "Hey, E."
Enid grinned, showing that infectious smile she carried. "You know Wednesday won't go after him. Especially him." The two of you looked at the guy, ruffling his hand in between the strands of hair while he talked to Wednesday. Who wasn't paying the slightest attention at all.
You let out a forced chuckle, appreciating Enid's attempt to lighten the mood. "I'm not—I'm not worried about that."
"Then why are you staring daggers at him like how Wednesday does to everybody?" She stood by you, side by side, her hands tight behind her back. But you couldn't really tell her that you and Wednesday are friends with benefits.
"It's just—"
You started, almost started. Until the words got stuck in your throat when you saw how Xavier led Wednesday to the dance floor, his eyes stuck on hers while she reluctantly followed him. How he tried to get Wednesday to dance along with him, his lips curving into an awkward grin.
"It's nothing." You nodded slowly, trying to tear your eyes away from the sight of Wednesday with Xavier, but your efforts were drained.
"I'll head back early, Enid. Sorry to bother your night with all this."You handed your cup to Enid, her hand hesitating to grab your cup. You could see how she offered a sympathetic look, her hand almost reaching out for your own.
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"I didn’t see you when I returned."
The door slowly closed behind Wednesday, and you could hear everything down from her steps to her breathing as she changed into her usual clothing.
You were slumped over a chair, pretending to do your homework for the first time, but it was just a ruse. You were just staring at a piece of paper, the words slowly starting to morph into Xavier and Wednesday's names side by side in your vision.
"Probably because you were seeing someone else." You muttered, bitterness leaving a trail of venom in your words as you turned around in your chair.
Sure it was childish, you knew Wednesday was never going to accept him as a love interest. But neither is she going to accept you.
Wednesday raised an eyebrow, her features scrunching up as she observed you.
"Nothing. I just wanted to...” Your jaw clenched. Think of a lie. Lie, lie, lie. “Just wanted to take a rest. I’ve been going to a lot of parties this month, you know? Also, the whole vibe wasn't really my thing."
Half true, half lie. Who even unironically says vibe anymore anyway? But you wouldn’t admit that you were jealous because Wednesday was just talking to some dude and Enid brings up some spur-of-the-moment bullshit that lead you to this situation. You don't blame her, though.
For a moment, you thought Wednesday saw through everything, Right through your soul by the way she walks towards you.
"I swear, I—" Your words got caught off as soon as Wednesday's lips touched yours. Her fingers tracing your jawline as she leaned towards you, pulling you in as her hand trailed along the back of your neck, pulling you closer.
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Wednesday regretted how she kissed you, once again. How she felt pity when your voice dwindled to a mumble, something she found unsettling considering how you were always someone who had joy written all over her face and her heart on her sleeve.
She kissed you, over and over again. Her lips onto yours, yours onto hers. She knew she had you wrapped around her finger, how you also had her wrapped around yours. How her bed always felt warm with you in it, how her world started to flicker with colors she never saw before, how her soul melted by the touch of your hand.
By the time you pulled away from the kiss, Wednesday was in awe of how you were something she'd cherish if it wasn't for her internal argument with herself when it comes to you. Her thoughts that consumed her till the very end.
"Wednesday," she heard you breathe, her body on top of yours, "Do you..."
Don't say it. Don't say it, don't say it, don't—
"Don't say it."
She murmured, by accident. She didn't mean to say it out loud. Her eyes went wide, while yours went dark. Almost like hers, even.
"Yeah, right." You whispered, she could tell you were disappointed. Or even angry, or upset.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
She could almost say.
You don't know how much I love you.
But she didn't. She wouldn't.
464 notes · View notes
invisiblestringmm · 11 days
Text
chapter five
“tell me everything about her.”
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a/n: not much to say other than a massive thank you for the support and that I hope you love this chapter as much as I do! 🤍
warnings: slight angst, anxiety attack, language & lots of fluff.
5.638k words
Telling your parents about Lily’s dad being back into your life was harder than you believed it’d be - there were no judgements, of course, but they asked so many questions that you were convinced that the night would never end. It was five years of questions they kept to themselves, but you didn’t have much to say at the moment. You still had to meet Mason and tell him first, which in your opinion, would be the toughest part of it all alongside telling Lily.
Mason Mount.
Your dad’s jaw dropped when he heard the name and he seriously contemplated it to be a prank, but he let go of that theory because Lily definitely looked like Mason. “Except for the nose,” he said. When you left for bed, before shutting the door to your room, you heard your dad mumbling to himself how unbelievable that was as he drank down his scotch - you cringed at the thought of how embarrassing introducing Mason to your dad would be, considering that he was a massive football fan and that Mason played for Chelsea when the old man was wild about Arsenal.
Of course hoping for a quiet night was too much to ask, but you never thought it’d be like that. Still trying to process Mason’s appearance in your dreams, you felt like staring at the ceiling was a lot more interesting than getting out of bed to confront the day like an adult - staying in bed felt a lot more appealing. Hoping no one would come for you, hoping today wasn’t the day yours and your daughter’s life would fully change felt better than anything else you had to do today. Instead of thinking what you’d say to Mason, you decided you’d let it all out as naturally as possible. Concentrate on Lily, on how special she was, on how his life would be extraordinary with her in it because Lily was pure joy in human form.
Concentrate on apologising.
Two soft knocks on your door and that pair of hazel glistening eyes glancing at you with curiosity brought you back from your thoughts. Lily pushed the door with her foot, concentrating on not letting the liquid content in the cup she carefully held spill on her grandma’s carpet. “Good morning mummy,” the way she looked at you, spoke to you, walked to you made your chest clench. Lily was so precious and had no idea that the night before, her daddy watched her dance. She had no idea you’d see him today and tell him about her and how extraordinary she is. “I brought you peppermint tea.”
“Of course you did,” you murmured, sweetness in your voice as you got out of bed and took the cup from her tiny hands and put it on the bedside, placing a kiss on her fingers as you also took her in your arms and went back to bed. “Thank you so much, my love.”
With tiny arms wrapped around your neck, Lily smooched both of your cheeks. “Why can’t you come with us today, mummy?” she pouted, hoping to persuade you to join her at Foxwoods before you had planned.
“Mummy needs to do some adult stuff but I’ll be there before you notice,” you kissed the tip of her nose, hands cupping her face as your thumbs caressed the delicate skin of her cheeks. “But you’ll be a good girl and behave, won’t you?” Lily giggled and nodded, knowing what you implied by it. Christmas was the time of the year that your mum valued the most, so she was everywhere and making sure everything would be absolutely flawless - which meant her Latina nature became a lot more evident than usual and the only person who’d calm her down and bring a smile to her face was Lily.
You two spent a few more moments like that, cuddling in bed, as you updated yourself on the day’s news and sipped the peppermint tea she kindly brought you. The final moments of life being just the two of you against the world, which instantly took you to the day you were still pregnant and felt her moving inside you for the first time - the overwhelming joy and fear of not being a good mum to the child that was growing so strong inside you, it all vanished when you first held Lily in your arms and fed her your milk. That had to be the most magical experience and memory you had of learning to love your daughter.
In the end, motherhood was continually learning. About how to raise her properly so she’d be a decent adult, about how to adore everything about that other human, to be there whenever she needed and for whatever she needed because she was your priority.
As you finished doing her hair, you could only hope that it’d be the same for Mason once he learned to love her too. That’d he have the same level of interest, because this wasn’t about you ending up disappointed anymore - it was about Lily and her anticipations.
Truth is you got a little emotional watching her go with your parents without looking back, you knew you were doing it right every time that happened because it meant that while she still loved you like crazy, your daughter was also independent. It’d be good for her when it was actually time to leave home, but you tried not to focus too much on it. Back to reality, you got two missing calls from Willow, probably wanting to know what were the plans, when you realised that you also had no idea how today’s events would unfold, so you decided to text Mason.
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Of course, he lived in the area, it definitely worked well for him since Chelsea’s training ground was in Cobham - what made your brain nearly explode was to see where you two were going when he sent you the location. That was the same café your mum would spend most of her afternoons at, so they probably bumped into each other at some point without knowing that there was a little human that linked them to each other. It only proved once again your whole point about how the wealthy were pretty much all linked by someone they had in common. But the nicest thing about your mum is that she couldn’t care less about the world you grew up in, probably the reason why you were so down to earth - while your dad tripled his fortune working for England’s most wealthy as a lawyer.
Only to add to your tension, you were now on FaceTime with both Willow and Jasmine, freaking out again about what to wear to see Mason in two hours. Your hair and makeup were done, and you had Jaz making fun of you for giving such importance to what you’d wear as if you were going on a date.
“You two just don’t get it,” you huffed, rolling your eyes. “The last time we spent more than 30 minutes together was five years ago and I was a drunk, young mess. Then I was a pregnant mess again, months later, by his door. I was throwing up like, ten times a day!”
Now, you were a mum, and you couldn’t look like a mess if you were going to tell him that you were a mum to his daughter. You had to look fairly decent, and no one would change your mind about that - especially when you took your phone and walked into your mum’s closet for a pair of one of her golden hoop earrings and a watch. Luckily, she didn’t mind sharing.
“Oh my,” you heard Jaz gasping. “Is that a Birkin behind you?”
“Yeah, my dad spoils my mum with bags whenever he needs to persuade her of something,” you chuckled. “Which is quite a lot.”
“Sadly, you don’t have a brother to marry me,” Willow said, pouting. “Give Jaz a tour through your mum’s closet.” Jasmine didn’t notice, but you did - the teasing in your best friend’s voice because you’ve both talked about it before and knew that at some point you’d have fingers pointed at you declaring that it was for the money. That you were a clout chaser, getting pregnant by a young millionaire footballer when you were wealthier. It’d take a few hate messages before they associated your last name to its fame.
After a quick tour and a jaw-dropped Jasmine, still stunned by your mother’s collection of handbags, jewellery, and shoes, you said your goodbyes, blew the girls a kiss, and began to dress up. Informal and basic, but still classy. You definitely had the mum vibe in those jeans, but you also looked your age - most of the time, fully taken by the obligations of maternity, you’d overlook how young you still were and how little time you had to act like someone your age. Clubs weren’t something that often happened in your routine, even if you loved going out to dance. You’d go to bars with work colleagues, and old friends from school, but their lives were so much different from yours. Most of the time you felt distant even from Willow, who although was your best friend, wasn’t a mum.
By the time you were ready to leave the house after snapping a mirror selfie and sending it to Willow, Mason texted you saying he’d be there in 20 minutes and you decided to walk there instead of driving. You wouldn’t be able to focus and fresh air would come in handy, and the café wasn’t distant from your parents’ house.
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During the short walk there, your phone buzzed with texts from your dad and Jaz.
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Well, if things went bad with Mason, at least your support system was still one of the greatest you’ve ever seen. Letting out a long sigh, you felt the weight of the world on your shoulders when you spotted the cafe right across the street. The only good thing you could think about it now was that it seemed really intimate, not busy at all, that’s probably why he decided on this place.
When you stepped in, you were received by the soothing aroma of coffee and chocolate. It comforted you down but only for a few seconds when your eyes met Mason’s figure - his eyebrows slightly frowned, like he was focused on something that was going on only in his mind, and biting his nails. You stood there, astounded by the fact you’ve seen that same facial expression on your daughter countless times before, until his eyes found yours and the frown gave place to a wide smile and happy eyes.
There was no way you wouldn’t smile back at him, it was contagious.
It took you some courage to make your way to him, and your tension only boosted when Mason greeted you with a hug, his hand ran up and down your back as he breathed in your perfume and, unconsciously, you did the same. But his happiness in seeing you wouldn’t last much longer. You planned to be as sharp as possible instead of dragging the weight of that secret for the rest of the afternoon because that was the reason why you went there in the first place.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked, pulling the chair for you and sitting in front of you right after.
“Chamomile tea, please.”
“Are you nervous?” there was a mischievous smile playing on the corners of his lips, making you shift uncomfortably on the chair. You don’t know why, but you just nodded and got a chuckle as a reply. The whole thing was absolute madness and torture. You could feel that pair of hazel eyes studying you with so much interest, Mason’s entire body language was incredibly easy to read because you could see Lily there, in everything that he did and even in his breathing. ‘Except for the nose,’ like your father said. Except for the nose, Lily was exactly like her father. “Well, I’m a bit nervous too.”
The waiter brought chamomile tea for you, and peppermint for him. You couldn’t hold back a soft smile when this morning’s memories flooded your mind, and as you drank down your tea, you felt like having Lily on your mind would make this easier. Her eyes, the soft pinkish flush on her cheeks, her laugh… Slowly, you felt your hands steadier, your breathing calmer. The priority had to be your daughter and everything she meant for you, all these years where it was just the two of you would be over and her biggest dream would come true.
“Mason, I-”
“Let me begin,” Mason moved his cup aside and now it was him shifting on the chair, clearly uncomfortable and making an effort to find the correct words to say. A sigh parted his lips as he rubbed his eyes. “I’ve been feeling embarrassed for years now, for the way I treated you when you showed up at my door. I wasn’t prepared for a relationship and I didn’t know what to do, nor how to.”
You raised an eyebrow. “A relationship?”
“The way you kept calling, texting… it overwhelmed me a bit,”
“Wait. You assumed I went there to tell you I was in love with you or something?” you raised your voice a little, immediately regretting it when the waiter side-eyed you.
“Weren’t you?”
“I think that stick was a bit too far up your arse,” you muttered, suddenly feeling confident enough to straighten your posture and calmly drink down your tea again. You observed his jaw drop and Mason’s cheeks were so red you could swear he felt them burning.
“Anyway,” he coughed. “I am sorry, deeply and truly. I tried to find you the next day, but I had no idea where you lived and you blocked my number.”
“It doesn’t matter now, Mason. There is a reason why I went to your place, an extremely significant one. A reason that changed my whole life and it would’ve changed yours too if you hadn’t been a complete idiot,” a frustrated sigh parted your lips and it didn’t take long for your eyes to burn with tears. “But in the end, I also need to apologise because I should’ve insisted, and I truly hope you can forgive me someday…”
“What do you mean, Y/n?” His voice was soft yet tinged with a mix of urgency, curiosity, and apprehension.
As you sat across each other, the aroma of peppermint and chamomile mingling in the air, you took a deep breath, heart pounding against your chest. This was it, this was the moment. “There’s something I need to tell you,” you started, voice barely above a whisper, which was making Mason feel as tense as he’d ever been. You could see concern etched on his face. “That night changed everything I thought I knew,” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I went to your house to tell you I was pregnant. We have a daughter.”
The words hung heavy between you, the silence only broken by Mason’s gasp. He stared at you, his eyes wide in shock, the natural flush on his cheeks instantly gone as his face went pale. “A-a daughter?” he repeated, disbelief evident in his voice. You nodded, eyes brimming with tears as you watched his reaction. “A daughter,” Mason repeated, his brows together in a frown as he mumbled it again a couple of times.
“I thought about going back there and forcing you to listen, and I know I should’ve,” you swallowed a sob, forcing yourself to push away all the hurt you felt that day and bringing Lily’s face back to your thoughts. Emotions swirling inside you. “But you shoved me off. I instantly felt like I’d face rejection again and it wasn’t about me anymore… it was about… her.” Your voice trailed off.
“I would never,” Mason reached for your hand across the table, his expression softening. “I wish you would’ve insisted.” He said, his tone gentle yet filled with a mix of hurt and, much to your surprise, understanding. You looked down, unable to meet his gaze when his warm hand gently squeezed yours. “Look at me, please.”
When you looked up, you noticed his eyes glistened with tears. Letting go of his hand, you reached for your phone and realised that the easier way to tell him the rest of the truth was opening his sister’s Instagram and showing him a picture of Lily and Summer that he’d seen before and even left a comment. The frown was there again as he took your phone from you, jaw dropping again, Mason blinked repeatedly. His mind raced, trying to comprehend the magnitude of what was unfolding before him. This was his daughter, the child he never knew he had. Guilt washed over him like a tidal wave, threatening to drown out the cacophony of emotions swirling inside him.
His mind nearly exploded once he finally realised that he met her not long ago and his heart sank as the realisation that he had actually thought how adorable and polite she was, and also extremely thoughtful - it hit him like a ton of bricks. A type of anger he never felt before bubbled up inside him, mingling with hurt and another feeling that was still unknown to him and Mason could not yet describe but was directly tied to that lovely little girl.
Mason’s heart felt heavier by the second as he tried to process the truth - the woman he shared a fleeting connection with kept their daughter hidden from him for years. Confusion blurred his thoughts for a second, he asked himself if his sister knew, and if she did, it only made him feel angrier. Beneath the anger, though, there was indeed a flicker of understanding.
“I couldn’t hide it anymore, and Jaz confronted me after she was in the same room as you and Lil-“
“Lilian Maisie,” he murmured. “You named her after me?”
“She needed you around, somehow.” Your words hung in the air, laden with the weight of missed opportunities and what-ifs.
As he looked deep into your eyes, Mason saw a reflection of his own emotions - uncertainty, regret, but also a glimmer of what could be… hope? Despite the hurt he felt that moment, Mason couldn’t shake the feeling of connection he always felt towards you and he now wondered if it was Lily who tied him to you. Like a force of nature, one he didn’t know existed, always making him think about you and if you were well.
Silence settled over you for longer than you expected, but not once you nor Mason looked away from each other - the weight of revelation started to sink in. Finally, he spoke, his voice filled with emotion. “Tell me everything about her.”
Relief washed over you, tears streaming down your cheeks as you nodded, finally being able to breathe. “Do you think we could go somewhere else, though? Somewhere it could be just us. Maybe your car, I-“ a sob interrupted you but Mason quickly paid for the tea and gripped your hand as you left the café. It was only when you two finally got to his car that you allowed yourself to actually cry, loud sobs making your body shiver. It felt like the weight of the world was no longer on your shoulders.
“Breathe, please,” Mason cupped your face, his thumbs wiping your tears. “Can you breathe with me, Y/n?”
His tone was so gentle you couldn’t believe how well he was treating you when he had to face the fact that you literally hid a child from him for five years. His child. How long would that last, though? How long until things crumbled, once he realised reality and parenthood were not easy to face? That once he accepted this role, his life was no longer his and that everything was about her? Their daughter.
“Better?” He asked, letting go of you when you nodded. Oddly enough, you missed the warmth of his touch. “Think you can tell me more about Lily now?”
Nodding again, you decided to show Mason pictures of her growing up as you shared every little detail about your daughter. How she was the sweetest, and most chubby baby you’ve ever seen; that she was always paying attention to everything and everyone around her, and clapped her chubby hands whenever she liked something. You told Mason that her first word was ‘goal’, and there was a mix of a sob and a giggle parting his lips. You told him that Lily behaved like an adult most of the time, that she loved animals, and that she was always making sure everyone around her was happy.
That her laugh was the sweetest sound in the world, and how her eyes crinkle when she laughed. Just like him.
You told Mason that besides ballet, she also loved football, and you could see pride in his eyes.
You told Mason that she also loved peppermint tea and that it was your thing to share a cup every morning.
Last but not least, you told Mason that he was her biggest dream. That she longed and cried for him almost every night, that her life was nowhere near complete without him in it, and that if he wanted to be in Lily’s life, his life would instantly become better and happier because she loved him more than anything in the world without even knowing who he is. That was the purest form of love he’d have, and the only thing he’d have to give in return was his love.
“I was surprised I didn’t hear from you right after you met her and Willow that day,” you admitted, watching Mason frown again.
“Willow?”
You nodded. “My friend who was with me the night we met.”
“To be honest,” he moved in his seat, cheeks flushed pink. “You were the one who had my attention and I wouldn’t remember her face even if I tried. I think Woody ran into her at some point but-”
“He did?” you interrupted him, not remembering if Willow ever mentioned it to you. Mason just nodded.
“You know what?”
“What?”
“It’s funny, but that day… watching her with Summer, I felt something so weird.” Mason repeatedly and slowly shook his head, a smile playing on his lips, like he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. You could hear your heart pounding against your chest, “Like the world’s entire happiness was right there, in front of me. I remember how I went home thinking ‘Oh wow, what a sweet little girl’ and I couldn’t understand why.”
“Oh, Mason…” the familiar knot on your throat was there again and you nearly forced yourself not to cry again. “I’m so sorry, so sorry-” You were interrupted by his arms around you.
Did he really pull you into a hug? Was he really hiding his face in the crook of your neck, crying like a little kid? Were you really comforting him, right hand up and down his back as he sobbed his heart out?
That wasn’t the reaction you expected, and guilt hit so hard that you could feel how your vision instantly blurred and you finally allowed yourself to cry again. You broke his heart, prived your daughter from living the first 5 years of her life with that man who probably would’ve given her his whole world - and also everything and anything else she wanted him to give her. Like his love, affection, and a big family. You took that from both of them, and you couldn’t help feeling like a monster. So the only thing left to do now was to fix this, beg for everyone’s forgiveness, and work forever to repair the damage you’ve caused.
“Does she know about me?” his voice, barely above a whisper, broke the silence between you. Mason still had his arms tightly wrapped around your body, which was only making things worse for you because how could he still show any sort of affection when you’ve done something so horrible?
You shook your head. “I wanted to see how you’d react before telling her,” you sighed, feeling completely vulnerable and defeated. “I was expecting lots of screaming, maybe you shoving me off again or something like that and telling me to speak to your lawyers.”
Too close for your sanity, Mason pulled from you just enough so he could look you into your eyes. The way his eyes were so red and puffy broke your heart into a million pieces because it was like seeing Lily crying - even the way he kept his brows in a frown, and slightly pouted. “Let’s save the lawyers for when we have to do the bureaucratic part of her getting my name.”
A nod was all you could give him back as you swallowed hard and your heart skipped a beat. You were far too naive thinking lawyers wouldn’t be brought into this, especially with your father being one of the greatest. You shook your head at the thought of Mason trying to take her from you, and even if you felt extremely guilty, you’d be ready to fight for your daughter no matter what or how much it’d cost you - the sudden pain in your chest and how you now desperately tried to catch your breath made Mason let go of you and cup your face again. You tried to look away, but he made you focus on him because he noticed what the word ‘lawyers’ did to you.
“Breathe with me, yeah?” His voice was calm, there was so much patience in every little gesture he offered you, that it wasn't hard to feel your heart and breathing going back to its normal pace. “I’m not taking Lily from you, ever. I promise.”
“You have every right to but I want yo-,“
“Y/n, don’t.” Mason interrupted you, and for a moment you felt like he could read your mind and soul by how deeply that man looked at you. “I would never, ever do that. She’s ours and we’re gonna find a way to make this work, let’s focus on her now, okay?”
You nodded. “Okay, but we can arrange a DNA test if it makes you more comfortable.”
“Do you have any doubts that she’s mine?”
“Gosh, no! She’s all you, Mason.”
For a moment, you could swear there was a glimpse of pride sparkling in his eyes. Mason took a long and deep breath and, much to your disappointment, let go of you. You watched him run both hands on his face, and stay silent for a few seconds. He was definitely lost in his thoughts, and once again you knew that because that was the same facial expression you’ve seen on Lily’s face multiple times.
“But I think it’ll be necessary, at some point. We can think about it later, let’s just focus on her and make sure she’s safe and-,” Mason stopped talking when he noticed a smile curving the sides of your lips. That’s what, deep down, you hoped for. Him putting her as a priority. “What?”
“You probably didn’t realise yet, but you’re behaving like a dad.”
That was when reality hit him again, like a slap in the face. Mason was a dad, and his life wasn’t just his anymore - there was a little human who loved him unconditionally without even knowing who he was, who waited and cried for him on countless nights, who hoped he’d show up for birthdays and important events such as a ballet recital. Mason was there the night before, watching his daughter without even knowing she was his. It hurt, but it also made him feel oddly happy.
Suddenly, he felt the impulse to wrap his arms around her slight figure and protect her from everything and everyone. Mason couldn’t understand why and how that feeling took power overer him so quickly, but now he understood why he always felt like part of him was missing. Lily was the missing piece.
“I didn’t want to leave you yet,” He started, your heart skipping a beat at his words. “I’d like to tell my family today, so you can do the same and we can set up a day with just the three of us.”
“She’s the only one left to tell now, but yes,” You nodded. “She’ll want to see you as soon as possible, I can already visualise her going wild thinking about what to wear. There’s just one thing…”
“What?”
“She’s not here now, my parents took her to the Cotswolds for Christmas and I’m supposed to meet them there. I can bring her back or you can meet us there…?”
Mason scratched his head, a sheepish smile on his lips. “I wouldn’t want to crash your family’s Christmas.”
“It wouldn’t be,” Unconsciously, you reached for his hand, watching how he instantly intertwined his pinky with yours in what was the most precious and delicate gesture he’s shown. You felt your cheeks burning under his gaze. “You’re her dad, that alone already makes you part of the family.”
Mason’s lips parted in a wide smile at your words, he unhurriedly nodded, his pinky playing with yours. You two shared a giggle and you watched him sigh before saying anything. “I don’t really want to think about the after, my brother having to do damage control because of the media. I want to enjoy this moment to meet her, what she’s like…”
“Yes, and you can come stay with us if you’d like to. There’s lots of space there, even if your family would like to join us,”
“Let me take you home now, and we’ll settle on what to do, yeah?” Mason gently squeezed your hand before letting you go, again, much to your dismay.
It stunned every inch of your heart and soul the way he responded to the news, almost as if deep down he already saw it coming. As you guided him to your parents’ house, your mind was working on how to tell Lily that she was finally meeting her daddy and that he couldn’t wait to see her - finally, she’d get one of the things she wanted the most for Christmas. You couldn’t avoid the feeling that it was all too perfect, though. That, at some point, something bad would happen and you feared for Lily's protection, understanding how exposed she’d be once the media was aware that golden boy Mason Mount is a father to a five-year-old girl who’s been entirely hidden from the limelight. You feared curious eyes and potentially evil words directed at her, to you, to your family. But, right now, it was about allowing Lily to finally have her daddy all to herself.
When Mason pulled over the car, you noticed how his jaw slightly dropped and how he bent his body to take a proper look at the house.
“What? Not what you expected?” You teased, lifting an eyebrow at him and watching how his cheeks immediately got pink. “At least no one can say it was about money, huh?”
“I’d fight whoever said it was,” Mason murmured. “But definitely not what I expected. Is that a fucking Arsenal flag or am I delusional?” You watched Mason’s eyes widen, and a loud laugh filled the car with pure bliss. That was the first moment you allowed yourself to relax and laugh. “Are you a Gunner?”
“Fucking hell, no! My dad is,” A single tear rolled down your cheek, as you recovered from the sudden wave of euphoria that caused you to laugh so hard. “He wasn’t happy to know that a Chelsea player knocked up his daughter.”
“Oh man, this is going to be fun!” Mason punched the air and then helped you with the seatbelt before getting out of the car to open the door for you. You muttered a ‘thank you’, stopping in front of him as you searched for the keys in your bag. “Can you send me pretty much everything you have of Lily? Photos, videos… I’d like to show my parents.”
“Of course, Mason,” With both hands in your coat’s pockets, you scanned him for a few seconds and, finally, gathered some courage to step forward and give his cheek a delicate kiss. “I’ll accept your follow request too, and we’ll sort things out so you can meet her, okay?”
He nodded, cheerfully, like a child having the best Christmas morning in the world. When you were about to turn and head home, he pulled you again and embraced you as tight as he possibly could.
“Do you believe she’ll like me?” Uncertainty was so clear in his voice that you felt your chest clench.
“She loves you, Mason. Lily loves you unconditionally,”
Watching him go was different this time because you knew Mason wasn’t going anywhere ever again. He’d stay, you knew that with your whole being - the thing is that if he was going to be there all the time, you’d have to find again to set boundaries between the two of you or things could end up badly. And it couldn’t, not if it involved Lily’s happiness and well-being.
You’d get along with Mason, and spend time with him so Lily would understand and live life with her parents around, but allowing yourself to have feelings for that insanely gorgeous was out of the question, even if you had no idea how to avoid it when he kept being so touchy and so lovely, much to your frustration.
In the end, it seemed that Mason would become an issue, but to your heart.
****
BONUS:
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The Quiet One 6
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No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You live a quiet life, but your peace is fractured by a chaotic man.
Characters: Lloyd Hansen, short!shy!reader
Note: have a good day.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
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Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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“So, what do you think?” Lloyd asks as he turns to you, outstretching his arms as he gestures to the endless hangers. “All yours. You got your pick.” 
You stand just inside the door of the walk-in closet. The space would take up at least half your apartment alone. You cross your arms as you glance along the rows of coloured fabric hung from the walls, organized in a perfect ombre effect of shades. On the far wall, there are shelves full of shoes and accessories, along with a vanity in the centre. 
“I know you’re a simple gal,” he grins, “but you don’t have to be anymore. Whatever you want, ain’t no mountain high enough and all that.” 
You nod and blow out between your lips. It all still feel surreal like a nightmare. You swallow and tamp down your discomfort. You didn’t hate the life you had. Your small apartment, manageable and tame. You prefer predictability, even if some might say it’s boring. 
“Erm, I dunno,” you slowly trail over to the other side of the closet. 
“Well, you could pick some shoes first. That might inspire you,” he suggests as he approaches you, “you don’t need to be too fancy, you know, you always look nice.” 
“Mm,” you nod,” thanks that’s...” 
You let the sentence hang. This is really freaking you out. Your chest feels tight and your head is buzzing. You shudder out a breath. 
“What... what am I choosing for?” You croak. 
“I told you, jellybean,” he puts his arm around you and pulls you against his side, “it’s a surprise.”  
He reaches to grab a hanger and holds it out at arm’s length. A blush-coloured satin dress with a bit of frill at the bottom of the skirt. It’s nothing you would choose yourself. 
“Sure, that’s nice,” you say, just to appease him. What else can you do? 
“Hm,” he hums, “you don’t like it?” 
“I didn’t say...” 
“You don’t sound very excited,” he pouts as he turns to you, his hand lingering on your hip, “none of it? I got it all for you.” 
“I’ll wear it,” you sniff, “I’m sorry, I’m just... I’m... adjusting.” 
You don’t know how else to explain it.  
He pushes his lower lip out and narrows his eyes, “sure, sure, makes sense.” He drags his hand off your hip and steps back, keeping the dress up as he angles it before you, as if he’s imagining you in it. “This is gonna look so hot, baby.” 
You do your best to stay placid. It’s harder as you heart pounds furiously. You can’t even begin to guess what he has planned but with everything he’s done and said, you know exactly what his intent is.  
“You should get washed up, huh? Then get dolled up. Like I said, won’t need much of that,” he winks, “you could walk in ass-naked and I’m sure you’d stun.” 
You can’t help how your mouth slants at his remark. 
“Alright, jellybean, let’s get you in the tub,” he lays the dress over the velvet bench and spins back, startling you as he grabs both hips and jerks you towards him with a growl, “can I watch? I promise, I’ll try not to touch. Yet.” 
You clasp onto his wrists with a yelp. He curls his lips eagerly and you repress your horror. You don’t want to antagonise. You don’t want him to get any worse than he is. 
“Um, did you want... to?” You murmur. 
“Fucking of course,” he urges you against him, “the things I want to do...” he smirks, “I’m quaking in my boots.” 
He bows to smother you with a kiss. His mustache pokes at your uper lip and up your nose as he hums and slides his tongue across your lips. You squeeze your mouth tightly shut but he pokes through, nearly choking you as he invades. You press your hands to his chest as he locks you into his embrace. 
Finally, he part and you gasp for breath. He snickers as you puff against him. Your skin is crawling as you wriggle in his hold. 
“Yum,” he purrs. 
He lets his arms fall away and quickly snags your hand. You let him drag you around to the door, your feet hollow as they move without a thought. Resistance is plainly not a choice. 
He takes you back into the adjoining bedroom, the one you awoke in, and through another door way against the perpendicular wall. He steps to the side as he tugs you forward and releases you. Your take in the sleek black walls and black tub, the silver shower head in a monochrome booth, and the ebon marble veined with sparkling white. 
“I get it, it’s going to take a lot of getting used to,” he boasts, “this is our home, sweet cheeks. Remember that. You treat it like your very own... it is. Just like me, all yours.” 
You pad slowly inside, if only to keep a distance from your captor. You won’t forget what he is. He can give you all the luxurious things but you remember the days of starvation, of terror. He can’t see himself for what he is but you do. 
“Face masks, body scrub, bath bomb, shower gel, bonnet, robe,” he points at the fluffy purple robe still around you, “slippers,” he flicks his finger towards the mat beside the door, “lotions, creams, everything you can dream of. Oh damn, I can call a nail tech if you want a fresh mani--” 
“Uh, no thanks,” ball up your fists, hiding your short-trimmed nails, “that’s not... that’s okay.” 
“Only the best for you, kitty cat,” he says. 
He strides forward and you flinch out of his way. He goes to the tub and cranks it on, water splashing out from the high faucet. He flips the silver lever to put the stopper in place and backs up. 
“Voila, all for you,” he declares, “I’ll just...” he looks around and backs up to sit on the fluffy cushioned stools near the wall, “sit and watch. If you need help getting your back, I got you.” 
He wiggles his fingers and gives a lecherous grin. You withhold a shudder and face the basin, the water battering the bottom. You step forward and peer down into the shallows. You clutch the front of the robe and peek over in his direction but not at him. 
He waits, silently. You sway, squeezing the fluffy fabric as you peer back at the water. You don’t know if you can do it. Not with him right there. 
“Whatsa matter, baby, you need help?” He shifts and you jolt.  
“N-no, I just...” you look down at yourself and frown. 
“Ah, you’re shy. I totally get it,” he coos, “you don’t gotta be though. Your beautiful, so you should be proud. Show it off, honey.” He clucks and shakes his head, “you know that’s the thing these days, all you girls, you’re so insecure, but you trust me, sweet lips, you got nothing to be insecure about.” 
Your stomach flips. You feel hazy. You try to shrug it off and drop your hands to the belt of the rob. You untie it. You’re really going to do this. Why? 
Because you’re afraid? Weak? Yep. 
You shed the rob and look around. You hang it on the hook behind the door and return to the tub. It’s getting deeper and deeper. You touch the bottom of your shirt and scrunch it up in your fists. Just do it quickly and get in. He can only see so much from over there. 
You pull your shirt off, nothing underneath. You push your pants down quickly, your underwear rolling down inside. The skin feels cooler then and tingles across your naked skin as you latch onto the tub and swing yourself over the edge. You barely get a foot under you before you submerge your body in the water. 
You sit up, legs bent, stiff on the porcelain as the water continues to rise. It’s not quite at your chest yet. If you let it fill all the way, it might touch your chin. As you watch the depth climb, you don’t notice him until he closes. You slide to the back of the tub as Lloyd cranks off the faucet. 
You notice how his eyes stray to you. Your legs stay bent in front of you, blocking most of everything. You shrink down, hunching your shoulders as he searches through the ripples. He tilts his head and cracks his neck as he exhales and backs away. 
“Take your time, baby,” he purrs as he rubs his chest. 
He sits again and you lower your head. You’ve never been this bare in front of anyone, rarely even yourself. You’re just not comfortable without some short of shield around you. Your eyes tinge with the threat of tears. You feel like you’ve been hit across the face. This is real. Really real. 
Your eyes flick up and you reach for the purple scrubby on the little black shelf. You just have to get through it. That’s what you’ve always done. 
👄
You stare into the open case. You’re not entirely unfamiliar with the concept of make-up. When you were a teen, you had a phase, and you’ve been to enough job interviews to wield a mascara wand. Still, the amount seems excess. 
There’s almost every sort of product in every shade. Some sort of tap you don’t know what to do with, highlighter, and finishing spray. It’s too much. Your look is either a bare face or nothing at all. More often the former. 
You fidget with a tube of lipstick, clicking the lid up and down. This is all so strange. What are you getting ready for? And why? This isn’t your home, this isn’t your life, and yet it’s all so perfectly planned. 
“Honey bunnnnnn,” Lloyd’s timbre has you dropping the stick. He strides in, flustered, holding up two ties. He’s half dressed. A pair of red velvet pants and amber satin button up. It’s not a look you would go for. “What do ya think? Which tie? Paisley or the stripes?” 
You shrug and shake your head. 
He clicks his tongue, “genius, baby, genius. No tie. You’re right. Just the jacket.” 
Your mouth falls open and you nod, “sure, yeah.” 
You look back at the vanity and huff. Your face is untouched. You sit in your robe in the walk-in closet, mulling over your misery. Self-pity is as inescapable as these walls. 
“What’s up, cheeks?” He asks, “you need some help? I’m thinking you could give a bit more colour to lips but keep the rest very subtle.” 
He crosses the floor and hovers behind you. You stir around in the case and take out two bottles of foundation. You’ve never really used that either but the shades are pretty close. He lays the ties down on the vanity, brushing your back as he does, and pulls back to grip your shoulders. 
“I tried to guess as best I could. Don’t know much about all that but the lady in the store was a blessing,” he massages your shoulders as he talks. You’re tense as steel. “But you know, you got perfect skin so...” 
“Mm,” you put the foundation back and peruse the little shelf alongside the mirror. You reach for the moisturizer. Your skin feels raw.  
“I like it, au natural. Touch of cream, little lash...” 
“I’ll figure it out,” you grumble. He’s kind of annoying. No, he’s really annoying. All of this is annoying. 
“Right, yep, I will get out of your way,” he bends and kisses the crown of your head, “lots of time.” 
He strolls out and you scowl at the mirror. Something about him is getting to you. You’re not an angry person. You’re a nice person. You don’t go out of your way to be around others but when you are, you strive to be pleasant. Or at least, out of the way. 
You spread the cream over your face, watching your reflection as if it’s someone else. Where did he come from? Why? This is some cruel trick because you only ever wanted to mind your business. 
You cap the bottle and put the moisturizer back. You fish out a mascara stick and brush it on your lashes then find a neutral lip colour to put on. Nothing special, just like you. Hopefully he sees that soon enough. 
You pack away the case and push it to the back of the vanity. You get up and go to the velvet bench where the dress lays. He’s plucked out a few things to go with it. A gold necklace with small diamonds speckled along it and a pair of beige heels.  
You peek at the door before you untie the robe. You shiver as your fingers brush your stomach. You close your eyes as you recall how he wrapped you up in a towel after your bath. His touches were more than deliberate but his intrusive gaze made you squirm more. 
You pull on the lingerie tucked under the dress. A thong. You’ve never worn one of those, and a satin and lace bra with no padding. Even as you pull the dress up your figure, you feel like you’re on display. You reach back, bending your arm until your elbow throbs as you push the zipper up. 
“Need some help?” Lloyd’s voice makes you wince. 
You sniff, “sure.” 
You hold up the bodice as he approaches. You refuse to look back at him as he nears. He tickles along your spine with a single finger before he tugs on the zipper. He pulls it up little by little, until the fabric is snug around you. His fingertips drift down your back and he spreads his hands across your ass. You gasp. 
Before you can step away, his hands glide around and he grabs you by the hips. He pulls you against him and rocks with you. He inhales your scent from above and sighs. 
“Jellybean...” he almost sings, “are you...untouched?” 
You lock up and grab at his hands, trying to free yourself. 
“Is that why you’re so shy?” He snickers and spins you around, hands going to your waits, “I’m honoured to be your first.” 
You gape at him, horrified. His intent hasn’t been hard to guess but said aloud, it is all too imminent. 
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