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#and then atsushi jumps on them both and starts sobbing and he has his family back and
knightpetrichor · 4 months
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dazai walking up to kunikida after the ada unites with a smile on his face, his usual mask back on, making jokes about kunikida missing him, how boring it must have been at the ada, how he's come up with so many new suicide methods to try out now that he's back, only for kunikida to cut him off by crushing him in a hug because dazai is alive and safe and he's been so worried. and the ada have been relying on him since s4 and it weighs on him, but his partner is back and for a moment everything feels okay again. kunikida holding onto dazai and burying his face in his shoulder bc for the first time in so long he's allowed to be vulnerable, he doesn't have to be strong anymore.
meanwhile dazai just. stands there. his teasing tapers off and theres this moment where kunikida's arms are wrapped around him as if making sure he's still there and maybe that's when dazai realizes that he doesn't need to keep up his own facade, either.
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starglow-xx · 3 years
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retrouvaille
nakajima atsushi x f!reader
fandom: bungou stray dogs
content: hurt comfort, fluff
warning! : mentions of abuse
type of work: one-shot
synopsis: he left the orphanage, and that meant he had to leave you too; fortunately, this time, it seems like the universe was on your side
a/n: this is kinda self indulgent bc ive been feeling kinda down lately...?? and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now and i havent posted in a while so killing three birds w/ one stone ig
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the word retrouvaille is a french noun...
The moment you stepped foot into the armed detective agency, heterochromia eyes met your (e/c) ones.
You notice several agents talking and walking over to assist you, but you drown them out only having focus on the gray haired male ten feet away from you.
Said male takes a small step forward with uncertainty and disbelief laced in his voice.
“(y-y/n)...?” 
At the sound of your name, your eyes immediately begin to water and with pure relief in your voice, you softly sob his name; the name of the boy who comforted you when you were both still in that wretched place.
“Atsushi...”
With all hesitation gone, Atsushi runs over to you shoving through his surprised and confused coworkers and wraps his arms tightly around you.
The force of the hug causes the both of you to stumble and harshly crash to the ground beneath you.
But the two of you didn’t care.
In his arms was a person Atsushi thought he’d never be able to see again.
In his arms was the same girl who snuck him food from the kitchens, the girl who stole medical supplies from the infirmary to treat his wounds, to take care of him when he was sick, and the girl who received punishment after punishment for insisting on staying with him inside his damn cell.
You gave him happiness in place where he should’ve never been able to receive it.
As if he ever felt like he deserved it in the first place.
You’re too good for him, but yet you still chose him.
You, his sweet and kind, his so very kind, and so very beautiful girlfriend, chose him, the cursed, good for nothing orphan.
The orphanage staff treated you considerably better before the two of you were acquainted, so Atsushi knew he was the problem. That he was the reason why tears would fall onto your beautiful face, why bruises and scars would litter your arms and legs, and why the staff would call you awful, degrading nicknames about you and or your virtue.
He had always thought that he wasn’t good for you, that he didn’t deserve you, that you could do better, but you stayed by his side regardless of his fears and insecurities, and provided him the strength and comfort he had always been deprived of.
And to his very surprise, he found that you found your own strength and comfort in him.
So he knew that you must of cried for weeks after he was kicked out, that you must’ve been devastated to wake up one morning only to learn that he was gone without a trace.
There wasn’t a single day that he never thought of you.
Atsushi wanted to go back for you, he really did; he wanted to storm into the orphanage with members of the armed detective agency, his new family, right at his tail before eventually reuniting with you.
But he didn’t do that.
Ultimately, he chose to leave you out of the mess that came with his job knowing that you would be eventually targeted and used against him if anyone found out about what he had with you.
So he kept quiet.
No mafioso, government agent, foreign organization, nor agency member had a clue about your connection with him, much less your existence.
He told himself that when things have calmed down by a considerable amount, he would go back and get you, with or without the agency backing him up.
Unfortunately, he knew that time of peace was far from the present.
But to see you, in your beautiful glory, standing at the threshold of the agency? 
His original plan to keep you away from Yokohoma flew out the damn window. 
At the sight of you, his heart did backflips and his legs almost gave out. 
Ignoring the jelly feeling in his legs and the loud pounding of his heart, he raced around the desks and his coworkers—nearly fully crashing into Dazai in the process—to once more engulf you into his arms.
As for you?
When you saw him, you felt like you were going to pass out.
Your legs grew weak, your entire body was shaking, and tears started to fall down your face.
He was here.
He was safe and he was alive.
You mourned his abrupt disappearance from the orphanage and spent most of your time worrying about his well being.
The staff thought you were pathetic, that you sulked and cried over someone who they thought should disappear off the face of the earth.
They could insult and beat you all you want, but you drew the line when it came to Atsushi.
Finally having enough of everything, you planned your escape.
You were patient; you never jumped the gun nor gave anything away. You planned everything to the very last, minute detail, and after a few more months of abuse and waiting, you put your plan into action and left in the dead of night.
Thankfully, a kind old couple took you after you had collapsed in the streets. You worked job after job after job to return everything they had spent on your behalf even after they had told you not to worry about it.
And after another few weeks, you finally caught wind of your lost boyfriend tracking him down to Yokohoma through an old newspaper article.
Knowing your boyfriend, and yourself, you knew that tears would easily escape both of your eyes due to the long duration of your separation, but you weren’t expecting to find yourself crashing onto the floors of the armed detective agency curtesy of Atsushi. 
But, you wouldn’t have it any other way because in your arms was the boy who gave you comfort during the most darkest days in the orphanage, the boy who laid you in his lap or on his stomach stroking your hair so you would fall asleep, and the boy who often threw himself in front of you so you would remain unharmed.
You choked on your sobs as you tightened your own hold on him and they gradually grew louder as you buried your face into the shoulder of his white button up.
Through his own choked sobs and teary eyes, Atsushi gently maneuvered the two of you so that you would be lying on his stomach—a familiar position the two of you would lay in back in the orphanage.
He gently stroked his fingers through your hair and softly rubbed your back as he whispered the familiar sweet nothings into your ears.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
“I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay...”
“I’m here, just let it all out..”
Overwhelmed with your emotions, his sweet words only started to make you cry more.
You’ve missed him so much.
Your tears easily soaked his both his shirt and his neck, and you tried to speak only for you to choke up. Atsushi simply just started to shush you—as you would to a baby—and placed a kiss to your forehead as he continued to comfortingly stroke your hair and rub your back.
With the both of you off into your own little world, a world consisting only of the two of you, reactions and looks from the Armed Detective Agency went unnoticed.
It didn’t take long for them to realize the kind of relationship you and Atsushi had.
But what surprised them was Atsushi’s behavior.
The young adult they knew tended to be unsure of everything, including himself, and stammered whenever he was nervous.
But the young adult currently in front of them had this new aura of maturity; he didn’t hesitate to touch you or to comfort you, and for the first time they’ve seen in a while, he was sure of himself; he wasn’t nervous at all.
With the amount of comfortability Atsushi had around you, and the tender, loving care he showered you in, it was clear that you certainly were someone special to their tiger.
Your sobs slowly turned to small hiccups, and Atsushi’s face turned to one of pure tranquility and content, having his lover back in his arms.
Although having calmed down, what Atsushi said to you next made you want to start bawling all over again.
“I’m sorry I left you, and I promise I didn’t forget about you,” he whispered softly, “I thought of you every day. I still do. The thought of being able to see you again is what kept me going.”
You buried yourself further into his shoulder as you gripped his white button up in your hands.
“And thanks to the armed detective agency, I’m stronger now. I won’t let anybody hurt you, not anymore. That, I promise you.”
Actually taking a look up from you, Atsushi ended up locking eyes with Dazai, who had a gentle look on his face.
His senior only closed his eyes, tilted his head down softly, and lightly chuckled before opening his brown eyes once more, giving Atsushi a look of approval.
The gray haired teen’s eyes widened slightly as he looked around the room only to be met with similar looks of approval and gentleness from his seniors and coworkers.
He felt his eyes tear up again, but instead let out a relieved sigh as he tightened his hold on you slightly.
“Hey Atsushi...” you softly murmured.
Equally as soft, he answered, “Yes (y/n)?”
“...I love you...”
Your lover smiled before placing another kiss onto your forehead.
“I love you too (y/n)”
At last, the girl he loved was back in his arms, and the boy you loved was back within your reach.
And neither of you were ever going to let each other go again.
and it means, the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation, a rediscovery
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as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3
writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason
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