#and then he goes and jokes about her being quiet ‘but not because I’m abusing her’

[76blades]

I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses. 

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her. 

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi

[bat-besties]

Mia Dearden and Steph Brown Headcanons! 

I’d love for them to meet supporting the Birds of Prey! They would both be about 18 when this happens, so Steph’s new to Batgirl but has been Spoiler, and Mia has been Speedy for a year. 

They both want to have fun and prove themselves, and I think there might be a little competition between them and their mentors over their use to the team. 

Mia is better at long-range combat and undercover work; Steph is better at short-range combat and detective work. 

They both talk. A Lot. 

Steph is very talkative because she’s very extroverted and friendly; Mia is talkative but it’s more of a defence mechanism at first, she’s actually a bit shy. I think that at first Steph can’t work out why Mia gets more quiet as time goes on and worries she’s mad at her, before realising this is a Cass/Tim situation. That’s cool - Steph can manage her introverts. Mia then goes up to being very talkative again, but with quiet stretches between. She appreciates that Steph can match her energy whether it’s a long ramble, a rapid conversation, or just chilling in silence together.

Steph gives Mia tips on using her hooded cape for Maximum Dramatics and Mia shows Steph how to hang upside down (“You’re a bat, right?”)

Mia met Babs at the wedding and is intimidated by her. She was too shy to tell her she’s started hacking herself, but Steph would slip it into conversation and Babs would be excited! Meanwhile Steph is like “you need to STOP me talking to Dinah before I tell her something embarrassing” (and Mia does) 

They both idolise Huntress the most out of the Birds of Prey. Come on, she rocks purple, stands up to Batman and defied her criminal origins? She’s also a badass with a bow? They gush over her together. She is also the only person who can get them to shut up over the comms. 

They love the same teen music and commiserate over Harper and Ollie making fun of it when it is actually really fun and catchy! Mia and Steph fight scene where they take down Riddler to the tune of One Direction’s Best Song Ever. The Birds of Prey record the security footage for them. 

Steph prefers reading classics and Mia prefers YA, so they swap recommendations (Steph recommends Dracula and Mia We were Liars)

However they do discover they’re both Hunger Games fans. 

Mia is a straight-A student and Steph struggles more with academics, but Mia knows more than anyone that intelligence comes in a lot of forms and it’s hard to catch up after a difficult childhood/adolescence. Equally, just how impressive Mia’s academics are (SHE SKIPPED ALL OF MIDDLE SCHOOL) is something Steph can fully appreciate and hype the fuck up. 

Honestly being with someone else from a working class background is nice amongst all the billionaires. Oliver keeps telling Mia to read Marx when she talks about her childhood. Bruce once gave Steph $50 to buy a box of tampons. Yes she kept it.

They do realise that neither man really understands the crucial gap between Steph growing up on the poverty line [under US census definition] with parental neglect and Mia staving off homelessness through survival sex work. The girls are acutely aware that Mia came from a background like Steph’s but had to leave due to abuse, and that their situations could easily be reversed. They could have really nuanced conversations about gender and class. 

Steph makes a joke about being pressured to sexualise herself at 15 and Mia’s like SAME and tells a much more concerning joke and Steph completely cracks up. 

Mia: I’m glad you found that funny because it did make Connor almost cry.  

Steph: Oh yeah, you should meet Cass. Her sense of humour is so dark Signal couldn’t light it.

They’d bond over friendship with Tim! When Steph hears about how chill and accepting he was of Mia’s HIV diagnosis she’s not at all surprised because that’s Tim all over. She tells Mia how when she first met Tim he thought he got Steph pregnant with a kiss and was still reading feminist theory for the first time. That’s her boy! He listened. 

Mia worries that reaching out to Tim or the other Teen Titans would be weird since they haven’t reached out to her and maybe they won’t even really remember her- 

Steph tells her if she rocks up to the tower for a reason other than the world ending and with some snacks, they’ll talk about it for months after. (She knows because she did it). 

Steph offers to introduce Mia to Cass, Kara, Damian, and other heroes she’s teamed up with over the years. 

In turn, Mia realises Steph struggles to make friends at community college despite her friendliness and with Mia actually having friends at high school, she gives Steph tips for “getting close to people authentically when you can’t tell them about the vigilante thing”. We see in the comics how Mia has to work on making friends, so I feel like she could pass on advice to Steph who is more used to hanging around people enough that they become close and being super open. 

Mia tends to get more quiet and passive aggressive, Steph tends to yell and confront rather than letting things simmer. They would struggle to deal with this at first. For Mia, Steph yelling would remind her of Richard and make her feel Steph is trying to intimidate her. For Steph, Mia making mean comments would remind her of Bruce and make her feel that Mia thinks she’s better than Steph. 

However, I think they could communicate to work this out and deal with conflict without yelling and with direct communication. 

Mia makes Steph watch Powerpuff Girls and Steph makes Mia watch Gravity Falls. 

They also have a sleepover involving a ton of snacks and Project Runway

It’s nice to talk about casual things - like how Mia’s boyfriend cheated on her with Emma Watson, Steph and Tim tried to date in costume but not out of it, and how Mia has killed someone and Steph has tried multiple times. Normal teen stuff.  

They end up having some deep chats on stakeout: So how was the realising not all men are evil being deeply painful because it meant your father chose to be like that? 

Mia: Even though he proved he’d never hurt me, Ollie kind of set back my progress in trusting men when he cheated on Dinah. It just felt like even good men would betray women for sex. But he’s grown from that and they’re married now.

Steph: Yeah, Bruce set me back when he had a mafia alter ego and didn’t tell me, leading to my brutal death which he still blames me for to this day. 

Mia: GIRL

Look the two of them have to look after a young girl together and get her to a safe place and use her testimony/skill to take down whoever was hurting her so she's part of her own rescue. They just have to. 

One of them is a natural blonde and one dyes her hair. They know which is which but they’ll never tell.

[gogandmagog]

so what are your favorite books/authors besides lm montgomery...I maybe just maybe am tailoring my goodreads tbr for next year 👀

“I love a book that makes me cry.”

– Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables

And apparently me too??? I’m just over here adding this grossly popular quote right at the top of this list after having wrote it up, because when I look back over these all-star books that rushed to be highlighted, I realise that… every last one of these moved me to tears.

But I’ve read them all half-a-dozen of times, at least! 🥺 So, here we go, here we go!

Beloved by Toni Morrison. This one knocked me out, good and proper. It’s such a masterpiece. It starts in the 1870’s of Ohio and follows a former slave and her daughter. It’s got a strong Haunted House vibe (there is a ghost), and it opens up with both something quite Maud-would-appreciate-this-ish and quite chilling; "124 WAS SPITEFUL. Full of a baby's venom. The women in the house knew it and so did the children. For years each put up with the spite in his own way, but by 1873 Sethe and her daughter Denver were its only victims." Mind, some people haaate this book, and feel quite strongly about it — but I like prosey books (this is the top complaint as far as I can tell), and this one is certainly that. Some very harrowing descriptions of the abuse of slaves, to be sure, but I personally have never been one to turn away from that ugliness, because remembering and understanding its weight feels important.

Stoner by John Williams. This is a little bit like ‘life sucks, and then you die’ — hyper precise about mundanities and is frankly a huge red flag to see sitting on a dudes bookshelf but… I loved it so much. 😅 It’s quiet, but poignant, and in its simplest rendering is about a very bored English Professor falling greatly in love with someone who is not his wife. Keep in mind, I’m hardly a girl who thinks infidelity is either cute or excusable… but this book firmly lodged itself in my heart, anyway.

Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin. I’m a HUGE BIG HUGE BIG HUGE Baldwin fan. And this is the book that started it, for me. Like, this novel will fully pull you apart, and give you a wallowing. I’d say it's even a great atmospheric read for winter, and I also even want to go ahead and say this book is considered a classic, but I could be making that up; maybe it’s just a classic to me. The plot surrounds the struggles of a bisexual man in late 1950’s Paris; he’s just proposed to his girlfriend, but he goes on and has a relationship with a male bartender. There’s race, misogyny, and class issues here too, but this book isn’t so heavy that it becomes cumbersome to read. It’s actually quite beautiful. 

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. Another prosey book. Maybe the most prosey book I’ve ever read… you don’t really get a break from it. But it’s so lush, and visceral, and the word play is sometimes so genius that you don’t mind getting fully lost in it (at least, I didn't!). This book could be labeled “tragedy” because it’s sometimes rather bleak – it's about fraternal Indian twins, Kerala history, and the lasting impact of childhood traumas, as well as the exploitation of the weak, really. But, there’s high points too!

Elsewhere if you haven’t read Peter Pan as an adult, I urge and beg of you to. J.M. Barrie (that’s James Matthew Barrie, and I will never stop conspiring that this is intentional of Montgomery and James Matthew Blythe) is right up there with Lucy Maud in the realm of exquisite and sweet storytelling that transcends age.

Of course Shirley Jackson, but you’re already a reader there! Fanny Howe has been an obsession of mine lately, too — I think I’ve posted her twice here and here — despite her being a poet, which is something of a fault that I’m being very charitable about overlooking (only half-joking, I really usually don’t care for poetry [except you Mary Oliver], not even LMM’s or by extension Anne or Walter’s either). Eve Babitz and Joan Didion are close personal friends (okay, it’s one-sided).

Anyone else that I read over and over are so classic that it’s almost white noise/nonsense to list them. I think the Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde is my all-time never-to-be-defeated, and Lolita (despite its very uncomfortable content) by Vladimir Nabokov is a close second (I once saw Lolita cited as being ‘a love letter to the English language’ and I frankly agreed with my whole chest), and Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell (his essays are things of brilliance too) takes bronze. I also obviously throw myself at the feet of the likes of C.S. Lewis and Lewis Carroll and Fyodor Dostoevsky and Virginia Woolf and Kafka and Sylvia Plath and Charles Dickens and James Joyce, and all of Those Guys too. Genuinely. I also wholly stan Washington Irving. He’s most famous for Sleepy Hallow, which I’ll link right here because if you tap on it and read even a single line, I think you’ll be like, ‘oh right, he is sensational.’ And this quality continues throughout his catalogue!

Signing off with a true and sincere hope that you’ll consider sharing your TBR list with everyone, and maybe some recommendations of your own, too!!! Your opinion means worlds!!!

[pendinganchor]

i’m always skeptical of sharing ideas online but then again i never end up writing them so fuck it! maybe read the tags first for this one cause there’s some trigger warnings and a very important disclaimer.

- this is an everyone lives/nobody dies because I SAID SO (not sure of the canon timeline but that’s something i can figure out if i ever actually write this)

- eddie and steve are dating and eddie makes a joke about being steve’s first

- “eddie, you are not the first boy i’ve dated” (unrelated but my phone autocorrected boy to big FOR WHAT)

- then eddie becomes obsessed with learning who else steve has dated. steve refuses to tell him. so he looks for clues in steve’s room, which leads to a whole lot of nothing

- some time later, they get into an unrelated fight that causes steve to react in a way that freaks him out a little (as in eddie gets a little too loud and close and steve recoils like he’s about to get hit)

- steve had told him about his parents and how “they aren’t abusive, eddie. they never hit me.”

- so eddie’s mind reels because why would he react like that. sure he’d gotten into physical fights a lot but never like that. and he never coward from a fight either

- he stops pestering steve about his past relationships and for a while forgets he was even curious about it

- when the kids learn about their relationship, dustin says “better than the last guy” under his breath. which steve shuts down immediately. eddie is hurt because “henderson knows but you refuse to tell me?” he completely misses max glaring at dustin then leaving the room

- they get into a fight again, this time related. the kids overhear it. steve storms out, max follows.

- it’s calm for a while, everyone trying to forget about the fight. their relationship is strained, they can both feel it, but steve still won’t open up about it

- a familiar smell smacks eddie in the face one day when he’s picking up max from her house. a cologne he had found in steve’s bathroom that he’d never seen steve wear

- “shitbird! can you at least acknowledge that i spoke to you?” billy yells from behind her, he then gives eddie a look that reads as hurt. but they had never really spoken. “yeah, yeah,” max yells back with a wave of her hand “i’ll be back before neil and mom get home.”

- the car ride is silent. “eddie, what the hell is wrong with you?” max asks while throwing her hands up. eddie plays it off but max isn’t stupid, he’s been tense the whole time. “just ask me the fucking question.” eddie is silent for a moment longer then asks her what cologne her brother wears. she blinks at him for a second before answering because that definitely wasn’t the question she was expecting

- so now eddie knew two things: steve has an abusive ex and steve used to date billy

- with how dustin talks about billy, eddie is instantly convinced they are the same person, but if he asks steve about it he knows it’ll lead to yet another fight

- he goes to the kids (like an idiot)

- dustin instantly starts shitting on billy, max then starts screaming at dustin while lucas tries to calm her down. mike is on dustin’s side and lucas is on max’s. “just because you’re dating his sister-” “shut up mike he’s fucking trying.”

- will stays quiet not sure he should butt into the conversation in fear of getting yelled at too but he’s definitely with max and billy on this, he knows the signs of abuse

- el quickly runs upstairs to get nancy

- “eddie you need to come with me right now” nancy says in her ‘i’m in charge and not listening to me means trouble for you’ voice. she drives them over to steve’s house. “i’m going to talk to him then you will go in after i’m done.” she gets out without elaborating further

- she comes back twenty minutes later and eddie totally didn’t spend the time trying to figure out if he should run away or not

- nancy sends him in and steve is pacing the floor of his living room when he walks in “i can’t believe this,” steve is saying. “i cant fucking believe this.”

- “steve?”

- he instantly stops at the sound of eddie’s voice. “you think that just because we’re dating now, you deserve my entire life story?” he doesn’t give eddie a chance to respond. “how could you possibly think billy was abusive when you don’t even know him?”

- “we’ll you were clearly abused by someone and if the shoe fits.”

- “billy wasn’t the abusive one in our relationship. i was.” eddie just stares at him. “god, i didn’t know it at the time and he held onto me for dear life even when i was being a jackass. why do you think he’s the only sibling that doesn’t hang around us? max still doesn’t fully trust me around him.”

- “dustin said-“

- “dustin is a child who doesn’t know any better and refuses to admit that i’m not always in the right.”

- “you still refuse to admit your parents are abusive because they didn’t hit you.”

- “because maybe i think i deserved it cause i’m no better than them.”

- steve tells eddie about what he did (which was verbal and emotional stuff that he honestly didn’t know any better about at the time but he also knows in hindsight he was in the wrong) and that his abusive ex was from when he dated a junior his freshman year and he didn’t like talking about it because it was a girl and he thought it embarrassing

and that’s really all i have atm

[letsrantoutloud]

April 10, 2023: Looks like I’m the bully

This generation of people are starting to get on my nerves. I’ve never, in my life, been in contact with so many emotional people in my life--and specifically, boys. For one, this new generation is all about being in touch with your emotions--which is great. I have no qualms with that whatsoever. But with that being said, this younger generation seems to abuse this new ‘trend’ of being woke and emotional to the point they make people like me--who grew up with thick skin because my parents weren’t taught how to talk to their kids. I’ve grown to take it in and either let it go or make it better somehow.  But now I have a younger brother who is living with his mom and isn’t incline to do better for himself. For years, my siblings and I have told him to get his shit together because no one wants to be the one to ‘take care’ of a grown ass adult, especially when he is taking advantage of his mom for her inability to ‘force him to grow up’. My younger brother is good at telling you that he knows, and he knows what he needs to work on, and that he will do that. Works for a couple of days, and then back to doing nothing again. This is what I’m talking about, and I am the bully who will rant about it because I’m getting sick of the thought that I’m the bad guy when I’m not. Just fucking get your shit together and quit relying for others to do shit for you.

So with that said, I have been dealing with an issue with a guy around the same age as my younger brother who, apparently, has an issue with me.  Just to make it clear--my supervisors are all for peer to peer conversations and so I never thought this day would come where someone would have any problems with me. But I guess my life has been too quiet.  One of my coworker and I get pulled into a room and immediately she states something along the lines, “So it seems *this person* has a concern with people making fun of his ADHD...” At first I was like, whoa. Who is making fun of his ADHD? And she goes on to say how he has never told anyone about his ADHD and that he did not like how people were making fun of him for it. And he told her it usually happens when everyone is at the control area when he gets teased.  AGAIN, I didn’t think too much about it because I haven’t talked to him for what feels like a week or two. Then, at the last moment, she brings up that both my coworker and I’s name were listed as the ones who did so.  So...yes. From feeling bad for him, to literally, ‘wait, what??”

Mind you, I need to explain a little bit more about who he is. *This person* likes to joke around and even make remarks about himself. There are times where he sat next to me and when he moves and brushes up against me on accident, he would say, “Ew, don’t be feeling up on my dump truck.” Which would surprise me a bit and I wouldn’t look at him because, who the fuck talks about their ass like that? And I’ve never thought of his ass as big or anything. So I just shook it off. See what I did there? I just moved on from the scenario, even though he was calling himself a dump truck. He also sometimes call himself fat, but of course there is no response to that because that’s just weird.  There was also a recent time where the coworker who got called in as well asked if he drinks and he literally placed himself in a stereotype and said, “I’m *this”, of course I drink”. Learning from my years of working, when you freely stereotype yourself in front of a group, there is a human nature in us that pretty much is like, ‘oh if they can joke about themselves, that probably means I can joke too’.

I still dont exactly remember when and what I said to him. Usually I try to joke with people while trying to comment how they should do work this other way, so it wouldn’t be so messy next time. I TRIED to redirect the way they work in my own manner INSTEAD of just instantly bringing them somewhere to reprimand them for the shitty way they do the work. I may have commented if his adhd was preventing him from remembering from doing things that are needed, because if you know me, you know I like to observe and ask why things and people are doing it the way they do it. For example, never in my 6 years of working here, have I dealt with someone who constantly forgets to plug in a VERY important machine (that if low on battery, will need 24 hours to recharge, and mind you, we don’t have many of these machines and it is important to keep them plugged in!!), or forgets to label expiration dates on opened products (because we have a shortage right now) and it always comes back around to being HIM who had done it. The area he sits in is never clean, there is always water bottles, used masked and other miscellaneous items that should be thrown away because we all share areas!!

I never claimed to be perfect. Never claimed to be an angel. But when you have issues or concerns about what someone may have said, you need to address it and find out what their intent is for saying it. I remember when I was joking with a coworker but she quickly told me she was not in the mood for my teasing and what did I do? I backed off. To this day, we are still good coworkers who sit next to each other. I get it, and she gets it too. When I’m not in the mood or don’t look like im in the mood she asks if i’m okay. I’ve told her sometimes I just need time and she acknowledged what I said and has respected to this point and time. See what communication does with one another? 

Now im at a point at work where he is pretty much avoiding me and my coworker because of how ‘snitch’ it was for him to go to the supervisor instead of coming to us to say he did not like being teased, even if he may make it seem like he didn’t mind. And if I really butt hurt him, then honestly his ass can come to me about it. Now he can walk around knowing that he said something but now has made our relationship at work something it wasn’t before. Probably can’t really go back, and I’ve honestly thought about it. Should I just go and talk to him? Ask him about the details of the event he was talking about? And tell him my intent was never to hurt him to the point he is thinking about it to this day. And for next time, to tell him to just say he does not like that. And I will step back. Easier said than done right?

Another part of me also pointed out--I don’t really care for a relationship with him. He has told me plenty of times, he wants to go to events outside of work with his coworkers and pretty much build relationships. We’ve bonded through talking about gaming and computer stuff. He can be a bit annoying from my perspective because he is a wannabe ‘know it all’ who sometimes like to correct me if I talk with bad grammar or correct others about a certain topic he has ‘researched’. It sends me back to the time where we were training one of his classmates and she told me straight up that he was a teacher’s pet and he annoyed her. I can see that in the work that he does. He doesn’t like to be told how to do things sometimes and it shows when he doesn’t look at you when you are talking to him. His energy screams he wants to be the best at what he does and hopes to be the top dog around here, but at the same time, I just want him to chill the fuck out and learn the ropes before he thinks so highly of himself. That’s why the weeks before this happened, I haven’t gotten the energy to talk to him. Because he is draining and very opinionated at times. I also avoid working with him if possible because the work he does can be sloppy. So i’d rather just leave him be.  So here I am, guys. This guy whom I’ve built a relationship with in some ways by bonding about gaming and jrock, has come to an end. I thought we have built a decent enough relationship to the point where if I said something he did not like, he should have come to me and say it--as peer to peer. I would have taken it and apologized and we can go on our merry way. I am someone who remembers anyone’s request of me if I did something unintentionally hurtful. But at this point and time, I’m just annoyed that it has come to this. Mainly because I don’t have to build a relationship with someone who will go behind my back to tell me something. And honestly, never had a passion to get to know him outside of work.  So call it what you will--I am a bully and my coworker is afraid of me now.  But whatever. Snitches get stitches. If you weren’t ready to take this on, you shouldn’t have done that, right? Now I am just going to walk by you as you shiver in your pants about our strained relationship. Hahahahahhaha.

[emilysshortstories]

Paul Lahote Part 2

Don’t really know what to call this, but thanks for all the love on the last part. I’m gonna try and post weekly but I work a lot so no promises.

Warnings: Angst, lots of it. cussing, hints towards abuse.

After a few weeks went by things seemed to work themselves out between Jacob and Bella. I would drive out to Emily’s about once a week, Paul conveniently never being there. Which I was actually kinda glad about, although I felt eager to be around him, Jared told me about his anger issues so I think it’s better for me to steer clear of him until this eagerness goes away. Anger issues scare me. 

Jared and I have gotten close through these visits, always laughing at each other's sarcastic jokes and ending the night with an episode of New Girl. That was usually the time when everyone else bailed but I didn’t care, it gave Jared and I some hilarious inside jokes. No matter how close we got, our feelings for each other never grew past platonic, though I would rarely catch Sam giving Jared a look. It was never all knowing “when are you going to ask her out?” look, more of a “back off” look. But that could just be me reading into it too much, there is nothing. I am thinking too much. I’m just happy I finally made a friend of my own. 

One day when I arrived at Emily’s for dinner, there was a new face in the crowd. “Y/N! You’re here!” said Emily as I walked in. “Hey! This is for you. It’s a cake for later” I said, handing her the grocery bag in my hands. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that. This is Seth, Harry’s son.” Emily pointed to the unfamiliar face. “Hi, I’m Y/N, Charlie Swan’s niece.” I introduced myself, but Seth just kind of stared at me, never saying a word. Jared’s laughing was what broke the silence. “What are you laughing at dick nose?” I asked, hoping not to embarrass Seth. “Nothing, just your ability to woo people” 

“Very funny, I don’t woo anyone, you’re imagining things. How Emily puts up with you is beyond me.”

“IT’S NOT WITHOUT GREAT DIFFICULTY” Emily yelled from the kitchen before walking towards us. “Paul isn’t going to show up again?” she added.

“Nope” Embry said “ Too stubborn for his own good, the dumbass”

“Hey, if he doesn’t want to meet me that’s fine. It’s none of my business.” I say, hoping to ease Emily’s thoughts, seeming it always bothers her when he doesn’t show up. 

We all seemed to move past it and dinner was great, as usual. “Hey, instead of New Girl do you want to take a walk? I’ll show you the hiking trails around here.” Jared asked me.

“Sounds great” I said with a smile.

“Can I join you guys?” Seth asks like a small child which made me have to suppress a giggle. Poor boy had been staring at me all night like a lost puppy, he was cute no doubt, but being 5 years younger than me was a deal breaker. 

“No, Jared has something important to explain to her. Remember?” Sam said like he was Seth’s father. He seemed to always be incharge of everything around these guys so that didn’t surprise me. I definitely wouldn’t call them a cult, but club would be a better term, seeming as a hierarchy was apparent. 

“Seth likes you” Jared said as soon as we walked out of the house. “Wow! Way to out your friend there! Remind me to never trust you with a secret. Plus you don’t know that for certain, he just met me.” I said and Jared laughed, but didn’t say anything back. No until we were pretty deep into the woods did I ask “So what is this thing Sam said you needed to show me?” 

“Well I wanted to try and explain it to you but I have a feeling you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Your sarcasm levels are like no other to be fair, so show me.”

“Ok” he said and stopped walking. “Just brace yourself and try not to panic. I promise I won’t hurt you ok?”

“Ok” I say, trying to do what he said.

I watched. Watched him take off his shoes. Watched him back up a few feet. Watched him start to shake. Just like Paul did that day Bella slapped him. Then I watched him turn into a wolf. I was stuck. Didn’t say or do anything. I couldn’t. Just continued to watch as this wolf trotted back into the woods. My brain was blank. No thoughts, words or actions came to mind. Everyone knows the fight or flight trauma responses, but not a lot of people talk about the third: freeze. 

Jared came back, this time a human. “You okay?”. I took a deep breath and said “I’m in need of explanation please” I remembered that he wasn’t going to hurt me. 

He explained the histories, Vampires, and why he spends most of his time with the “pack”. I listened, tried to take it all in and process the copious amounts of new information, but apparently I was too quiet for Jared. “Please say something” 

“I’m alright, surprised to say the least and will need some time to process everything. But I’m not mad I promise. Thank you for telling me everything.”

“Well, that actually is not all. We just figured it would be best to wait until you’re ok with this first.” 

“There is more? Please just tell me the rest, trust me, I process better with all the information.”

“Okay, well. We can hear each other's thoughts, we are 108 degrees, and we can imprint.”

“That’s why you never wear shirts… What’s imprinting?” 

“The best way I can describe it is soulmates. When we make eye contact with them, our whole world becomes this person and we will be and do anything for them. When we are apart it’s hell, getting rejected by an imprint can really fuck you up. Make you sick. No one has ever died from being seperated from an imprint but you might as well be.”

“That sounds intense. What does that have to do with me?” 

“Paul imprinted on you. And it scared him. Still does scare him because love was never something that he wanted. That’s why he won’t see you, he isn’t mad at you. He’s in love with you and his stubbornness is eating him alive. It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to listen to his obsessive thoughts all the time.” 

“Hold on. Paul is my soulmate but he doesn't want me?”

“No, he wants you. He needs you, but he’s scared. We thought if we told you, you could convince-”

“You want me to try and convince my soulmate that he should be with me?... Fuck that. You dump all this crap on me and then tell me my own fucking soulmate doesn’t want me?!”

As if on cue, Paul came out of the woods “What did you do to her Jared? You hurt her?!”

“How do you know I’m in pain?”

“We feel our imprints' pain too” Jared added. 

“Oh! Perfect! So you can feel what you are doing to me asshole!” I couldn’t help but yell at Paul, I was overwhelmed to say the least. I’d never been so angry in my whole life. 

“What?”

“Jared didn’t hurt me, You did! What? You thought that I would be all sweet and understanding?! Awe my own fucking soulmate doesn’t want me-”

“No it’s no like that-”

“What is it? Am I not as pretty as you thought I would be? Well I can guarantee that you were not what I had in mind either you prick! In fact you are the last person I ever wanted. Oh great! Another egotistical asshole with anger issues to make me feel like shit all the time! Let me just take off my shoes so you can sweep me off my feet properly! I’m happy you got some practice keeping your distance from me. Now keep doing it! And don’t you dare think, even for a second, that you have any sort of claim over me. I’m out of here!”

Frustrated tears flowed down my face like a waterfall while my heart felt like it had died in my stomach and air was coming into my lungs but not my head. 

“Please don’t go. I had no idea you would feel this way. I can’t be separated from you anymore, I’ll go insane-”

“GOOD! Now fuck off!” I got into my car and slammed my door before Paul ran up to me window “Ok ok you can leave, just please let me drive you home. You shouldn’t be driving like this, and it’s dark. I promise I won’t say a word. Let Jared drive you! Anything.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” My own stubbornness got the best of me and I drove away. Only this time I was dumb enough to look in the mirror to see Paul sobbing.

[84hotpockets]

And Everything Goes Back To The Beginning

About 1.8 k mostly about Aaron Hotchner's not-so-great childhood. Implied abuse, mentioning of blood, cameos by Haley Brooks, Roy Brooks, and Jack Hotchner. Not a happy fic.

Good job. Have fun. Be careful. I’m proud of you. I love you.

Those words were never said in the house at the end of the street. The one everyone in town knew, the house with the white picket fence that got a new coat of paint at least once a year, the one with the well-kept lawn that made the townspeople joke the country club’s greenskeeper should get some advice from the owners, since holes 3, 8 and 14 had patches where the players could barely distinguish the green from the rough. The house that was too quiet for a home of four, the one that never had a haphazardly discarded bicycle in the driveway, balls lying around in the yard, or baseball equipment on the front porch.

Behind closed doors, those who were lucky enough to be invited in or had the misfortune of being ordered to enter, agreed that the place felt wrong. It was too perfect, the smiles too bright, the rooms too dark, the children too quiet, and it was always too cold. It didn’t matter whether it was the middle of summer or winter, there was always a chill in the air that had nothing to do with the temperature. Everyone who made it out unscathed hoped that they’d never have to return. Only three or maybe even two generations ago, it had been a different place, full of light, laughter, and joy. These days though, it seemed as if there was a geostationary dark cloud over the house and its occupants.

Aaron Hotchner had learned early on that he better did all of the chores he was tasked with perfectly. If he did, there was never a „Good job, son,“ from his parents, but since the alternative, depending on his father's mood and state of drunkenness, varied between a backhand to his face, 10 lashes with a belt, or several hours spent without food or water in the small closet under the stairs, he always tried his best. Too often though, it wasn’t enough.

„Good job, Aaron,“ his English teacher said, handing him back his essay, marked with a big red A- and a smiley face. He wondered if he had something wrong because the 9-year-old stared at him, unblinking as if he had grown another head. If he had known that this was the first time the boy was praised for something he had done, he would have questioned his faith in humanity.

„Have fun, kids!“ While all of his peers couldn’t wait to hear the three words that would release them into their summer holidays, Aaron dreaded them. Those words meant that he had to spend the next weeks home, walking on eggshells, tippy-toeing around the house, trying to avoid his father and his moods as much as possible by spending hours sitting at the river that flowed through the woods behind their backyard, reading one book after the other, or, if a thunderstorm was about to hit the town, at the library. It wasn’t by accident that he got an A in English.

The first time that he didn’t dread the words but actually smiled when he heard them, was the summer after his father’s funeral. It would have been the happiest summer he could’ve imagined if it hadn’t been for his little brother Sean, who truly missed their dad.

Words of caution were never directed at him. His brother was too young to fully understand the family dynamics, while his mother was preoccupied with her own fight for survival. She didn’t delight in the fact that her husband more often than not chose his eldest son over her as a release for his anger, and while she sometimes felt guilty, she never warned Aaron if Michael Hotchner was in an especially bad mood. It would have been easy for her to utter „Be careful when you go upstairs. Your dad lost quite some money at the track today.“ That was all the warning that he would have needed. Mrs Hotchner kept quiet though, hoping that Aaron would make it okay to his room and through the night. Half an hour later the noise from upstairs told her that sometimes hope wasn’t enough. Maybe Aaron’s music was too loud (it wasn’t) or he did slam the bathroom door shut (he didn't). He only had to blame himself for those, in his father’s eyes, grave mistakes. At least that’s what she told herself when she tried to drown her son’s cries in the sixth glass of wine.

„Be careful, son! It’s a bad one. You better see that you get a roof over your head.“ Aaron stopped dead in his tracks when the farmer passing him by on the outskirts of town yelled those words at him. He had been restless for the last few days and had decided to go for a run. If he had listened to the weather report, he would have known that the afternoon’s forecast said that there’d be heavy rainfall and maybe a few thunderstorms. Since he didn’t and his run took him farther than planned, he was still a few miles from home when the first drops fell. The farmer, who had driven on, suddenly reversed and opened the door. „Come on, jump in. The missus would never forgive me if I told her that I let a beanstalk like yourself get drenched.“ Aaron nodded and got into the pick-up, murmured something the farmer took as a thank you, and they drove back into town in companionable silence, listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windshield and the rusty roof of the car. Once he was back home it occurred to him that this had been the first time someone was worried about him and took the appropriate action. Even though he had been inside and had already dried his hair and face with a towel, he blinked and had to wipe some new droplets from his face.

His father was a proud man even though there was little he could be proud of. A lot of people in town feared him and his powerful friends, they were afraid of his mood swings and cruelty, but no one even dared to confront him about it. He never told a single person that he himself was proud of them, especially not his eldest son, the wretched boy who had ruined his life by entering the world, the crying baby who had kept him awake before a trial, the toddler who had given him chickenpox. Why would he tell him that he was proud of him for his kindness, his athleticism, his school grades, or the way he cared about his little brother? No, for as long as he lived, he kept those words for himself.

When Haley dragged a bleeding Aaron through her parents’ hallway in the direction of the bathroom, both of them hoped that Mr Brooks wouldn’t wake from his afternoon nap. The man had slowly come to terms with the fact that his youngest daughter was spending a lot of time with the Hotchner boy. At first, he had had his reservations, the sins of the father and all that, but getting to know him better and better taught him all he needed to know: Aaron was almost shy and nervous around other people, eager to help, ever so careful not to drop or break anything, and startled by loud and sudden noises. Sometimes Mr Brooks got the feeling that the boy seemed to have more in common with two of his old army buddies, whose trauma left them in a state of almost permanent hypervigilance, than with all the other kids his age. When he woke up on that Sunday afternoon, he heard his daughter shushing Aaron, who groaned in pain. Alarmed, he got off the sofa, didn’t even put his shoes on, and walked out into the hallway, just in time to see Haley closing the bathroom door. As he took another step he almost slipped on a wet spot. Blood. Not much, but enough to leave a cluster of droplets. When he stormed into the bathroom, Aaron, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, immediately jumped up and put himself between Haley and the potential danger entering the small space. Suddenly, a lot of things began to make sense for Mr Brooks. With a few words he managed to calm him down and even helped Haley dress the cuts and bruises on her friend’s hands and face. Later, long after Aaron had left, Haley told him about the group of older boys who tried to grab her, and if it hadn’t been for Aaron, well, who knows what would have happened. The next time Mr Brooks saw the boy, he told him how proud he was of him.

If there was one thing Jack Hotchner knew, it was that he was loved. Despite all the bad things that had happened to him and his family before he was barely 15, he was sure of that. His aunt and his grandfather had told him again and again. His mum had told him almost every day. Sometimes with words, sometimes with a hug, and sometimes with a special treat even though he didn’t really deserve one. His father was the same. He didn’t say it as often with words as his mother had done, but he too did in so many other ways, with praise for well-baked cookies, with coaching his soccer team, or a presentation for this class, with getting him the winning costume for his school’s Halloween contest, and with retiring after their time in witsec. If someone had told him that by the time he was 12 years old, his father had never had anyone say or even show him how much he was loved, he wouldn’t have believed it, wouldn’t have been able to understand it.

13-year-old Aaron Hotchner was exhausted from painting the fence in the humid summer heat. After taking a much-needed shower, he tried to enjoy a few minutes of calm and quiet before he had to go downstairs and help with dinner. His break was cut short when his baby brother Sean barrelled into his room, holding out his favorite toy truck and a loose wheel. Aaron sighed dramatically and fixed the wheel. When he crouched down to give the toy back to his brother, the boy hugged him. „Love you, Aaron.“ Only when Sean had left, Aaron realized that this was the first time anyone had told him that. His happiness only lasted for a few minutes though. When his mother called him down to help her in the kitchen, she only told him to wipe that smug grin from his face before his father would do it for him. It was another two years before he heard those words again.

— the end —

[queenxxxsupreme]

Protector (Arthur Morgan x f!reader)

A/N: In most of my Arthur fics, if I mention the reader’s horse his name is Calvin and he’s blind in one eye so if you’ve noticed it that’s awesome! If you haven’t no worries! I just wanted to point it out before anyone gets confused. I’m not sure how many times I’ve mentioned it but I know in my head that’s how it is 😂

Warnings: Micah being a dick, no actual animal abuse but it almost happens, Micah roughly grabs reader but that’s it, nothing out of canon

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: You can defend yourself. Arthur knows this. But he makes sure Micah knows you aren’t the only reason he should keep his hands to himself.

***

You hummed softly to yourself as you helped Mr. Pearson prepare dinner. 

You looked up from the potato in your hand for a moment, eyes flickering around camp to take count of who was present. 

Mrs. Grimshaw had pulled Pearson away from his wagon and all the way to the other side of camp. Mary-Beth was sitting on a chair near her shared tent with the girls, busying herself with a book in hand.

 Abigail and Jack were towards the back of camp. Abigail was doing her best at keeping Jack occupied with the flowers growing in the grass back there. Molly was fixing her makeup in her tent at the center of camp.

 Micah was near the horses, messing with a saddle bag on his horse. Everyone else was gone. Today was one of those days that everyone was busy away from camp. 

“Son of a bitch!”

You lifted your head up from the potatoes you were peeling, turning your attention to where the horses were hitched. 

Micah stood by your horse, a gray Dutch Warmblood named Calvin. Micah was cradling his hand to his chest as he cursed, but then he looked at your horse and pulled his fist back as if to strike the animal. 

You were on your feet and crossing camp in a matter of seconds, grabbing the back of his coat and pulling him away from your horse. 

“Don’t you dare put your hands on my horse, Micah Bell.” You spoke through clenched teeth, holding the knife you’d been using to peel potatoes in your hand at your side. 

“That damn bastard of a horse bit me! Nearly took off my fucking hand!”

“Then don’t get close enough to him for him to grab you!” You raised your voice to match his, holding his gaze as he glared at you. 

Micah took a step towards you, knowing very well that he could use his height to appear more intimidating. But you weren’t one to back down so easily.

“Maybe if someone taught you a lesson in manners, that horse would behave better.”

“You don’t get to say shit about me and my manners, Bell.” You shook your head, pointing at him with the tip of the knife. “Don’t touch my horse, or I’ll put a knife between your ribs.”

You moved to return to the potatoes but Micah wasn’t about to let you off so easily. 

“Now see, girl, I don’t much care for that attitude you have.” He grabbed your arm and pulled you back around to face him. You didn’t even get a chance to use the knife to defend yourself because he’d grabbed the arm that you held the knife in. 

“Let me go, Micah.” You spoke through your teeth, glaring up at him. 

“Oh, Mr. Morgan isn’t here to save you, sweetheart. You’ve gotta face the consequences of your actions.” He smirked as he looked down at you. His grip on your arm was unbelievably tight and no matter how much you tried to get loose, you couldn’t seem to break free. “Don’t you raise your voice at me like I’m some little bitch of yours. I’m not your cowpoke. I ain’t scared of you, and I ain’t scared–,”

You cut him off by headbutting him. He immediately released you and stumbled back, cursing. 

“Don’t put your hands on my horse, Micah Bell.” You repeated your warning, readjusting your grip on your knife. 

“You think you’re big and bad because you’re sleepin’ with Morgan, don’t you?” Micah took a step towards you, wiping the blood from his lip. “Goddamned whore! Probably sleeping with half the fucking camp too!” 

“Micah!” Charles called his name. 

You turned your head to see Charles moving towards you and Micah. 

“Is she sleeping with you?” Micah pointed an accusing finger at Charles but Charles ignored him. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Charles asked you. 

“I’m fine, Charles.” You gave him a little smile, hoping that maybe he’d let the whole thing go. “Just had to have some words with Micah.”

“Looks like it was a little more than a few words.” Charles glared at Micah before following you back towards Pearson’s wagon. 

“Well, with someone like Micah Bell, words barely get through to him.” You returned to peeling potatoes. “Too damn stubborn.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

Just a few moments later, Arthur, Bill, Javier, and Lenny returned to camp, hitching their horses up beside Calvin. 

Bill tethered Brown Jack to the same post Calvin was on. 

“Be careful of Calvin, Bill.” Lenny warned, pointing to your horse. “He likes takin’ a piece off of whoever passes by too close.” 

You grinned a little as you listened to them joke around about Calvin. He was a sweet horse, he was just crotchety and being that he was blind in one eye didn’t help that either. 

“I think it’s just you boys he don’t like.” You spoke up as the small group made their way into camp. “Kieran can brush him down any time of day and Calvin is just as sweet as could be.”

“That’s ‘cause Kieran sneaks the old man treats.” Javier spoke as he sat down at the table not too far away from Pearson’s wagon. “Found out how to get to Calvin’s heart. Sugarcubes.”

“Oh, it’s just ‘cause Kieran’s a sweet kid.” You teased, eyes flickering up to watch Arthur. 

He grunted, shaking his head. 

“Ain’t nothin’ sweet about an O’Driscoll.” 

You finished cutting up the potato in your hand and then put the knife down. 

“Damn bastard!” Karen shouted as she hitched her horse to a post.

“Who are you cursing at, Karen?” Lenny asked. 

“Micah! He nearly ran right into me running outta this place!” She brushed her skirt off. “What’s got him all pissed off?”

“The wind probably blew the wrong way.” Arthur said. 

You chose to stay quiet. You turned your head to look at Charles. He was near the backside of Pearson’s wagon. His eyes found yours. You took a deep breath, shaking your head just slightly, then turned your attention to Calvin. He was okay, you knew that, but you couldn’t help feeling the need to make sure he was okay. 

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” You wiped your hands off on a rag and set it on the table before making your way towards the horses.

Arthur took note of your behavior. You usually were the first one to poke fun at Micah, to comment on his antics. It was unlike you to stay silent when his bad attitude was brought up. 

Arthur sat down in the seat you’d previously been in, absentmindedly scratching his scruffy jaw. 

Seeing that Javier and Lenny were engaged in a conversation of their own, Charles moved to Arthur.

“Arthur?”

“Hey, Charles.” Arthur greeted him.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Arthur nodded and followed Charles towards the lake away from everyone else. 

“I didn’t see everything, but I was coming back from switching out guard duty when I saw Micah had ahold Y/N’s arm.” 

Arthur’s eyes darted across camp to you. 

“Don’t worry, Arthur. She’s okay.” Charles assured him. “I just wanted to tell you because I don’t trust Micah. I don’t know if he’ll do anything or what he was trying to do. I don’t know what goes through that man’s head, and I don’t want anything to happen to Y/N.”

Arthur let out a heavy breath, running his hand over his face. Anger bubble in his veins. 

“He’s a snake, Arthur.” Charles spoke quietly.

“I know he is, Charles.” Arthur shook his head, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Did you…. Did you see him put his hands on her in any other way?” 

“No. All I caught was him holding her arm and she headbutted him. Caught him right in the nose and mouth.”

“He didn’t hit her or nothin’ did he?”

“Not that I saw.”

Arthur nodded his head, letting out a heavy breath through his nose. He put his hand on Charles’s shoulder, nodding his head once, then moved across camp. 

***

You approached Calvin on his right side so that he could see you. His left eye was the one that was blind and he didn’t react well to anyone coming up to him from that side. 

“Hey, handsome.” You cooed, smiling softly as you reached out to rub his nose. He huffed and leaned into your touch. Your touch moved along his neck and down his side, then to his hindquarter. “My good boy, huh? Just don’t like no one else, do ya?”

“Think you have a thing for grumpy old fellers.” 

You looked up to see Arthur rubbing Taima’s nose. 

“I like the challenge that comes with the grumpy ones.”

He chuckled.

“You, uh, you know why Micah left like he did?”

“No.” You shook your head, moving around to Calvin’s blind side. “But it’s hard to tell what’s going through that man’s head.”

“Just thought maybe you’d know since you were here with him.” Arthur thought at loud.

You shook your head. You could feel his eyes on you, studying you like a book. 

“You’d tell me if something happened, wouldn’t ya?”

Your eyes flickered up to meet his. You were quiet for a few moments, locking your jaw. 

“Charles told you, didn’t he?”

Arthur nodded silently.

“He almost got a knife in his gut. He raised his fist like he was gonna hit Cal ‘cause Cal bit him. But I had it under control. No need to worry. Micah’s just a sour bastard. Don’t like being told off, especially not by a lady.”

Arthur let out a sigh. 

You gave Calvin a loving pat on the shoulder and moved to go back to Pearson’s wagon. 

“I don’t like leavin’ you here at camp with him.” Arthur followed behind you.

“I know you don’t, but you don’t have much of a choice.” You washed your hands and started to get back to work. 

His hand wrapped around your wrist and he carefully pulled you back around to face him. 

“Don’t egg him on when I’m not here.”

“I can fight my own fights, Arthur. And I’m not gonna let him hit my horse-,”

“That’s not what I’m sayin’, Y/N.” He cut you off, looking down at you. “If he ever put his hands on you, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill ‘em.”

“I know.” You placed your hand on his chest. “I know. But you, Arthur Morgan, also know that I can kick ass just as good as any man here. You shouldn’t worry so much.”

“I’ll always worry.” Arthur took your hand and brought it up to his lips. “Micah’s a snake.”

“Worrying is bad for such an old man’s heart.” A grin tugged at the corners of your lips as you moved away from him. He allowed you to slip away, watching you return to your chair by Pearson’s table. 

Arthur chuckled at you, shaking his head. 

***

Arthur settled back into bed, getting comfortable while you changed into a chemise and fixed your hair for the night. 

“I think I gotta go to Strawberry tomorrow.” 

“What for?” You slipped on your chemise, pulling it down over your head and into place. 

“Dutch said there’s someone there who has information on a train comin’ through.” Arthur tucked one hand behind his head and watched you turn to face him. His eyes flickered down to look over you. 

Though the lighting from the lamp wasn’t the best, he could see an odd marking on your bicep just above your elbow. It was darker than the rest of your skin and seemed out of place. 

Arthur sat up, brows furrowing together. 

“Come here a minute, pumpkin.”

“What?”

“Just come here.” He patted the bedside next to him. 

You moved to sit on the edge of the bed, confused but unaware of what he had seen.

Now that he was close enough to see just exactly what they were, he could tell they were bruises. 

You looked down to see what he was looking at. 

“What is that?” You furrowed your brows together.

“Looks like finger shaped bruises.” Arthur just barely brushed his fingers over the markings. “Micah’s lucky I don’t cut off his goddamn hands.”

“Don’t, Arthur.” Your eyes shot up to find his. “I’m serious.”

“I am too.” Anger clouded his blue eyes, making them a stormy gray instead of the pretty vibrant blue you adored so much. 

“He ain’t worth you gettin’ in trouble, Arthur. I probably broke his nose anyways.” You stood up. “Let’s go to bed.”

Arthur was silent as he laid back down and you climbed into bed with him. You curled up against his side, resting your head on his chest. 

“Just don’t want nothin’ to happen to you, pumpkin.” He murmured, kissing the top of your head. 

“Nothin’s gonna happen to me.” You assured him. 

***

Once Arthur was sure you were asleep, he put his clothes back on and slipped out of his tent. 

He looked around camp, spotting a small group gathered around a campfire near Pearson’s tent. He could spot Dutch, Hosea, Javier, Bill, John, and most importantly Micah. 

Arthur took a deep breath, fighting the urge to cross the camp and start throwing punches at Micah. 

Instead, he calmly made his way to the fire and sat down on the log next to John. 

“Thought you went to bed.” John commented. 

“Nah, can’t sleep.” Arthur shook his head. 

“Arthur! So glad you could join us!” Dutch’s voice was unnecessarily loud. Arthur hoped you wouldn’t wake up. 

“Hi, Dutch.”

“Thought you and Miss Y/L/N had gone off to bed for the night, cowpoke.” Micah offered him a beer but Arthur declined, lips pressing together in a tight line. “What happened?”

“Figured I’d stay up a little longer. Spend some time with you guys.” Arthur forced a smile on to his lips. “Don’t get to do that much anymore, do I?”

“No, as a matter of fact you don’t. You’re either off playing hero or-or…. or your off playing hero.” Bill swayed in his seat. He had too much to drink. 

“Or you know, you’ve got certain people around here up your ass.” Micah shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t have time to sit around and drink with your brothers.”

John furrowed his brows, looking over at Micah. 

“What the hell are you talking about, Bell?”

“Shut up, Marston.”

“You know what? Maybe you’re right.” Arthur tilted his head to the side a little as he looked at Micah. “What happened to your nose? I’ve never noticed it was so crooked.”

Micah scowled. 

“Or maybe it’s not.” Arthur shrugged his broad shoulders. “Maybe I just never got a good look at it.” 

“My god, Arthur, I think you’re right.” Hosea leaned forward as if to take a closer look at Micah’s nose. “Looks absolutely terrible, Micah. You might need to get that checked out.”

“Go to hell.” Micah started to stand up. 

Arthur stood up too, stepping towards Micah. 

“The next time you think about putting your hands on Y/N or her horse, the least of your concerns is gonna be her breakin’ your nose or pullin’ a knife on you, you hear me?” He spoke lowly. 

Micah held his gaze for a few moments before turning and skulking away. 

Arthur turned back to those who sat at the fire. Everyone was silent and didn’t know what to say. 

“Is Y/N okay?” Hosea asked. 

“She’s fine.” Arthur muttered, clenching his fist together. “I don’t like that fella.”

“Don’t think many of us do.” John sighed, standing to his feet.

Taglist: @winterwolf @doggone-cowgirl @lauramb7 @caraqas @bluscryn @nonodino @krenee1drful @thefirelordm @sargeantsea @sokkasdarling @thecollection @mayday1284

If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

[venusguks]

Solace in Seoul

— Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Fem!Reader (Reader x Kim Taehyung on the side)

— Summary : the falling apart of you and kim taehyung, and the coming together of you and jeon jungkook

— Genre/Warnings : plot driven, angst, smut, fluff, sugar daddy/baby relationship, student/teacher relationship w kth, bsfs2lvrs w jjk, unprotected sex, creampie, degredation, oral (f receiving), jk just wants to love you :(, jk is the absolute sweetest really, spit drinking?, praise ( TW : MENTIONS OF FAMILY ABUSE/BRUISES )

ACT 1. | 134340

The first time you talk to Jeon Jungkook again, your mind is elsewhere, absorbed in the lingering absence of Taehyung.

Spring's gentle breeze carried distant laughter and a faint melody from the music club two floors down. The sky carried drifting clouds, the ocean carried rising tides, and you — You carried the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Or at least it felt like it.

The piles of envelopes concerning last two months’ unpaid bills have been devouring your dinner table and heart alike. After receiving the countless of threatening voicemails from your landlord, you'd be naive not to expect a visit—but opening the door to Mrs. Joomi’s bitter scorn didn’t make you feel any less anxious. Juggling two part time jobs all the while maintaining A’s and B’s was nothing easy to accomplish. Hell, living wasn't even easy, and yet, it was like nothing you did was ever enough.

Grief was your composer and you were her violin—her cruel euphony reverberated through your tears when you sat on the cold kitchen floor last night, sifting between your savings that barely made up one month's rent. On top of your midnight breakdown, your dad decided to come home yesterday out of all days and, well, you know how that goes.

The door clicks open, interrupting you from your trance. You don’t need to turn around to know who it is.

Footsteps pad closer until Taehyung is right next to you. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans back against the metal railing, facing the opposite direction. It's quiet at first. You've noticed long ago that your relationship with him was one that was filled with silence. “Somethings bothering you,” He’s the first to break it. Neither of you take your gaze off the cerulean blue sky. “You could tell?”

“Of course I can, angel," his voice is cool, gentle, and it carries you away with the wind. "You dozed off through the whole lecture today."

Shame tinges your cheeks with the faintest pink, “oh... I’m sorry. I was paying attention, really, I was just—"

"Love," he saighs, "you have nothing to be sorry about. You could skip to sleep in the nurse's office for all I care. I'm just worried about you."

“What a good teacher you are,” you smile, a teasing one, but Taehyung chuckles dryly. “Trust me, if I was a good teacher, I wouldn’t be doing this," he sounds apathetic, but that doesn't stop you from frowning. You finally turn to look at him, his curls of deep brown swaying. “Taehyung... please don’t say that. You’re an amazing teacher, everyone knows it.”

You hoped he knew how genuine you were. God, you hoped to the moon he knew just how good he was. Taehyung may have already been admired for his captivating smile and his nonchalant energy, but everyone respected him for so much more. He was the type of teacher everyone wanted—the cause of counselor’s headaches every autumn for receiving heaps of transfer requests. Even parents and teachers fawned over him, baffled to see the passing rate in math tests accumulate over the years. It hurt that he didn't see that, and it hurt more knowing he didn't think he was respectable because of you.

The man tilts his head to look at you, smiling softly. “You know I’m only joking, doll.”

“Whether you're joking or not, I still... it just worries me when you talk like that,” you pause, "....do you really feel that way?" Do you really regret this?

Taehyung sighs, and the jeweled rings adorning his fingers are cold against your skin as he tucked loose strands of hair behind your ear. “Worrying is my job, angel, so tell me what's been on your mind instead."

If Taehyung noticed the hurt in your eyes, he chose to ignore it. He always did this. You got it, really, you did. There were boundaries for these sorts of relationships. One step closer would bring him one step back, which was why you never probed him any time he disregarded your questions. But a selfish part of you still felt it was a bit unfair, a bit painful to feel him slip away, to realize he was never there in the first place.

It was strange, how he made you feel. His thumb grazed your lips, his breath was light on your skin—if you concentrated hard enough, you swear you could hear his heart beat. He was only inches away.

So why did he feel so far?

Taehyung was your your lighthouse, your harbor, your shore. Through the snowy December nights where his fingers traced sensuous lines down your bare stomach, to the Spring showers of March where his cold lips brushed your inner thigh—Taehyung had always been your solace.

You knew tangling in sexual affairs with your teacher in return for sealed envelopes was wrong, but how could something so sinful feel so heavenly? The unspoken acts committed underneath draped curtains and moonlight's veil felt too dear to you to be called impure. By your sixth rendezvous, you started to wish the intimacy you shared with him could go beyond silk sheets and star speckled lust.

“I want you to confide in me too,” you said one night under the reluctant shadows of warmly lit candles. “I want to help you too, Taehyung. Please, let me help you.” You could tell he's been agitated the whole week, but you'd been too afraid to ask, afraid of him pushing you away. You didn't know where your courage came from then, all that you wished to be more than a distraction. “I don’t need you to help me," Taehyung growled, and you let out a muffled whimper when he rolled your clit with his tongue, your thighs trembling as you reached for his soft curls. "B-But I care a-about—ahn!" You arched your back as he inserted a finger inside of you, curling into your sweet spot with frightening accuracy. "Don’t need you any way else other than this, doll. Just be good and silent for me." That morning, you woke up to a bed void of the man you loved; a white envelope being the only remnant of that night.

You sighed as you recalled that memory, brushing your own fingers over his, tracing the metal bristles of his rings. “Its nothing."

“Don’t say that, angel. I know it’s not nothing."

“Really, Taehyung, i’m fine. Just stressed is all.”

“Stressed...as in financially?” Your sudden tenseness affirms his assumption, making him sigh. "You could've just told me earlier, angel. Tell me how much you need." A repulsing mixture of shame and self resentment brews in your chest, hardening like bitter dalgona. Dirty, despite money sparking your secret arrangement from the very beginning, that’s how you felt every time it was ever brought up. “Hey, look at me doll," as if reading your thoughts, Taehyung gently draws your face close to his with two hands cupping your cheeks, noses barely brushing. “Don’t ever feel guilty about this. Just treat it as an early birthday present, yeah?"

You couldn't help but frowning, your hands roaming the access of his collarbone. "You already do so much for me, Taehyung...I just...I-I feel bad." You failed to notice how rigid he became then, how his eyebrows dipped with evident frustration. "Y/n, you know that—"

Click!

Before you even realize it, you and Taehyung are off each other. When the blue, paint-scraped door opens, sleeked shoes and lively banter are welcomed by two students, diminishing with a glance at the both of you. "Ah, Mr. Kim, there you are! I was looking all over for you. What are you doing here?" A girl's eyes shift from you to the chestnut haired man. Taehyung easy recollects himself as he pats your shoulder, wearing a professional grin. "I stumbled into y/n here, was just giving her some advice but we’ve finished. What did you need me for?”

"Oh...well, about finals week..." You almost let out a sigh of relief as they continued their conversation, but your breath is instantly caught in your throat when your gaze flickers to the boy right next to her.

You were too startled by the sudden interruption that you haven’t completely processed his presence. You almost wish you hadn’t though, now that his doe, big brown eyes mirror your own.

Jungkook was unmoving, and you could've guessed he was conflicted—whether to say hi or to stay silent. Even if you were in the same grade, it was rare to see his face among the carbon copied uniforms. Class C—1 and C—4 were the furthest from each other, and with being the student council event coordinator, you were either neck deep in documents or tucked in the seclusions of the rooftop.

But due to the proud morning announcements and the hushed whispers of admiration, Jungkook never really strayed too far from your orbit. Referred to as the school's golden boy, Jungkook was loved by everyone. He was friends with members from the fashion department to the swim team to the gardening club—Hell, even the occult club. Teachers and students alike wore lenses of adoration for their school’s pride and joy while you tried your best to look away. He may have been in your orbit, but you were two different worlds, encapsulated by the universe but separated by light years of meteors and stars. Jungkook was a nameless planet to you, as you were to him. You never brought yourself to think about it—never had the time for anyway, so seeing him there, floating with the drifting clouds, even you felt a tad bit shaken.

“—kook...Jungkook, hey, Jungkook! I’m gonna go get my assignment with Mr. Kim. Come with?” He blinks profusely, averting his attention from you to the girl wearing raised brows. “Uh, no thank you. Breaks gonna end soon anyways, I think I’ll stay up here. See you after school though?”

“After school,” she clicks her tongue, waving before disappearing down the stairs. Taehyung lingers for a second longer, his eyes flickering to you. “Well I’ll see you next period, Jeon. Bye, y/n." With that, the door shuts behind them, welcoming an air of awkward silence.

Jungkook is the first to clear his throat, “hi, its been awhile," his earrings dangled with his every nervous movement, and you wondered when he'd gotten all his piercings. "Y-Yeah, its been awhile..." you repeat densely as you watch him take the spot Taehyung left, respecting a distance but not standing too far away. He rests his forearms on the metal railing, his elbow barely brushing yours. “Do you usually come up here?"

"Only during lunch."

He hums, "that explains why I never see you."

You frown, both in curiosity and confusion. "You look for me?"

“I-I don’t!” He sputters too quickly. “I just...its just an observation. We’re in the same year after all, and you’re never with the rest of the student council members.” Your brows raise in amusement, “that's surprising.”

“What is?”

“I didn’t think you remembered my name—honestly didn’t think you even remembered I existed.”

“Of course I remember,” he chuckles, “we’ve been friends for 17 years. How could I forget?”

“14 years,” you reminded softly, “we’ve been friends for 14 years.”

A star in Jungkook’s eyes must have died out when you smiled sadly at him. “Oh...right...” he rubs the nape of his neck, sighing. “This is strange, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you agree, “strange.” And there it is again. Spring’s momentary silence. You watch as the sun slowly disappears behind sailing clouds. Talking to Jungkook, being alone next to him, was maybe even a little bit uncomfortable. After all, you guys had so much history—where do those film rolls of sun seeped memories go? It was as if they floated all around you, tying your fingers together like the red string of fate. After all those years of suppressing them, it was intoxicating, adamant to be remembered.

“This reminds me of middle school,” Jungkook brings your head back from the sky. “In 5th grade, the highest we could go was at the top of the garden shed. We spent all our breaks there, staring at clouds, complaining about Mr. Lim being too grouchy, or wondering where we'd go after school—what ice cream flavor we’d get at the convenience store. Do you remember?”

"Of course I do," despite yourself, your heart softens to the recollection. It was your secret hiding spot, blocked by the slant of the roof and the trees barricading the other side. The sky, wind, and Jungkook had been your only escape from the problem solving in math and the problem solving you had to do on your own when you were 10, wondering what the budget for that week's grocery would be. “We thought we were so cool, that we were on top of the world.”

“Correction, you thought you were so cool. You even promised to show me your own space ship, remember?”

“God, please don’t,” you groan, covering your face with your palms. You knew exactly where this was going, and you guessed Jungkook still knew exactly how to embarrass you. “You told me you were a space—“

“—adventurer!” You beamed a toothy grin, two hands proudly on your hips. Jungkook looked up at you with sparkling eyes, pupils as large as beloved full moons. “You mean...an astronaut?”

Your smile immediately drops into a disappointed frown. You demanded upmost reverence, so you didn’t really appreciate it when he questioned you. “No, no. Not an astronaut. A space adventure. s-p-a-c-e a-d-v-e-n-c-h-u-r-r. Gosh, Kookie. If you want me to bring you along in my journeys, you have to keep up.” Jungkook only nodded, trying his best to stifle a chuckle. He won the 3rd grade spelling bee, so he was at least 85% confident the word adventurer didn't have a 'ch' in it.

He decided to let it go though. He knew—the same way he knew that you’d certainly cry if he corrected you—that you were afraid of heights. If it took weeks to encourage you to finally climb a roof, he was the certain you wouldn’t be able to handle the height of the galaxy. But then again, he always had a soft spot for you. “I’m building a space ship right now actually! Its called the Bon Voyage. When it's finished, I’m going to Pluto. You won’t believe how big space is. There are strawberries there!"

Jungkook’s eyes widened at your silly declaration, and even then, he felt sad. He knew that being a space adventurer—being able to maneuver gravity and time on your own whims—was only an innocent imagination of escapism, but still. Every single time you’d flinch when a hand was brought up near you, every time you’d pull on your jacket despite it being hot, he wished your imagination could be real. Wished he could make it real for you—keep you safe from earth and all your troubles.

“I’d like to see the strawberries.. with you,” Jungkook smiled softly. You grinned, and it was the most precious thing Jungkook saw as you stuck your pinky finger out. “Then it’s settled, I’m taking you with me.”

“To pluto?” He wrapped his small finger with yours, and you sealed it with your thumbs pressed against each other's. “To pluto!”

Jungkook was in a fit of laughter, and despite burying your face further into your hands, you couldn't help but smile. “I can’t believe you knew I was lying. God, I must’ve looked like a total idiot.” His elbows were pressed against yours now, sending a surge of warmth to your heart at the familiar skin ship. Jungkook must have not noticed, for he only kept giggling, and you certainly wouldn't bring it up. “It was cute, really. The strawberries and everything. It was really cute.”

"Whatever, Jungkook," you rolled your eyes, and uncovering your eyes, you looked at him. Truly looked at him this time. His smooth, unwrinkled uniform. His hair that grew over time, kissing past his eyelashes and swaying with the wind. The tiny mole peeking under his bottom lip, the familiar scrunch of his nose as he grinned widely. The speckled brown of his eyes were so warm, almost dreamlike against the golden sun. Under long years of an uncalled contact, of an untouched hand, of a voiceless wonder—‘how have you been?’ ‘what was on your mind today?’—you saw the Jungkook you once knew, your dearest friend. And with his smile, you found your heart aching and full at the same time.

ringggggg!

The alarm jolts the both of you, severing spring’s heartbeat as loud chatter and footsteps disrupt the moment from open windows.

You only stare at each other for a brief second before you give a half smile, “that's the bell, we should go.” Without waiting for an answer, you followed the pace of the rest of school, but before you could take a step down the staircase, Jungkook takes your hand. His grip isn’t tight or rough. Its gentle, reluctant. You turn around, and the sun is behind him, kissing the back of his head with its golden, stray flakes.

"What is it?" You furrowed your brows. “I...its just..." It takes a moment before Jungkook speaks, cheeks tinged with a faint red. "Y/n I, I miss—”

“Jungkook,” you interrupt in masked panic, averting your eyes as you pulled your hand back. In truth, you were scared. Finals week would be soon and you didn’t think you could handle any more mental strain than you already had, especially not with him. “I-I think we’re going to be late.” Jungkook eyes widen for a second, stricken with dejection. He mumbles, “right...”

You don’t dare to look at him, turning away, you say, “it was nice talking to you again. Bye, Jungkook.”

ACT 2. | DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR

The second time you see Jungkook again, the spring showers are sharp against your skin. You had just gotten off from your 6 hour shift, and where the sunset hues of timid pink and vibrant yellow were supposed to be, the overcast sky was instead. It's been about 30 minutes since you clocked off, but you knew your dad was home, so you decided to take the long way back.

It didn't matter that you were a blur of blue walking in grey tainted streets. Didn’t matter that the downpour soaked your clothes or that cars occasionally splashed you with murky road puddles. You could be anywhere, and anywhere would be better than where your dad was.

Droplets drooped down your eyelashes, dribbling down onto your phone. It’s screen illuminated your color drained face. You stared at Taehyung’s contact, biting your lip nervously.

YOU :

hey taehyung, can i come over? if that's possible of course|

hey taehyung, can i come over? i|

hey taehy/

.../

i need you|

Your thumb hovered over the tempting, blue send button. Press it, Y/n. Just press it. (But would he mind?) He said it was okay to ask for help. (But... what if he's busy right now?) It's okay to ask. (You'd just be bothering him. If you're too needy, he'll push you away, you know that.) Just press the damned—

“Y/n!” A hand reaches your back, and although it was a mere brush, you yelp in alarm, instantly stumbling back. When you're sure you're about to be submerged into a puddle, a hand firmly grasps your forearm, steadying you as the said person pulls you closer to them. The rain stops—or rather, patters against an umbrella now hovering over you. Your eyes flutter from the hand holding you to the hand holding the umbrella handle, and lastly, the holder.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jungkook half laughs. When you don’t reply, your mouth only agape, he adds, “are you okay?” It takes you a moment before you nod. You were close, as close two people could be under a small umbrella (or was it because Jungkook has gotten really big?), so you take a step back. But before you could feel even one raindrop on your face again, Jungkook pulls you back into him, “I don’t want you getting sick, y/n.”

“I’m already soaked anyways,” you frown, but he only disregards you. “Where are you heading?”

“Nowhere.”

When his brows threatened to crease, you add, “Got off work a few minutes ago, I was just taking a stroll.” Jungkook opened his mouth, and you were sure he was going to say something in the lines of, “in the rain? have you gone mad?” But to your surprise, he doesn’t. Instead, his fingers intertwine with yours. “My homes not far. Come with me?”

"Your...home?” You repeat dumbly, disregarding how warm his hand was—how you missed it, how right it felt in yours. “Yeah, if thats okay with you. If not, then mind if I walked with you?” You pause, taking in Jungkook’s attire. What he was doing in a button down, black trousers, and sleek shoes, you didn’t know—but his dry state save for the few droplets on his clothes meant that he'd much rather prefer to be under a roof. You weren’t sure if he was going to take no for an answer, and being under shelter did sound pleasant. At least, more pleasant than being in wet socks. “Okay,” you say, “take me home.”

When you arrive, you're relieved to discover Mr. and Mrs. Jeon are on a business trip. You missed the Jeons, truly—they were the only family you’ve ever known, but you didn’t think you were ready to see them again.

You remembered Jungkook’s house being an absolute palace when you were a child—modernized with elegance adorned with a scenic garden and a clean landscape—but it still didn’t fail to leave your jaw agape. Expansive was always an understatement. “Here, get changed,” Jungkook hands a towel, an oversized sweater and sweatpants, and of course, fuzzy socks. You only nodded as he led you through the familiar halls to his room. “Just call for me when you’re done, kay?”

“Mm,” you mumbled, still in a daze even after he left. Bittersweet nostalgia filled your nostrils with the scent of vanilla and almonds, a soy candle he still apparently loves. It's only been three years since you’ve last set foot on his grey, hardwood floors, but you still noticed the subtle changes. Instead of pokemon action figures—burnished, golden trophies filled his glass shelves. They were only a few Jungkook was really proud of, otherwise his room would be brimmed with his accomplishments.

Picture perfect polaroids capturing euphoric memories and cheerful grins scattered Jungkook's walls. A refined stereo set replaced the bright blue boom box of your childhood, the one covered with doraemon stickers and scratches. Memories of 4th grades' January flooded your mind, when the blandness of the month was disrupted with color as the two of you jammed to Ego by JHOPE on repeat. Jungkook may have added and taken a few things out, but you found anchor in what stayed the same. His plants that hung from the ceiling were still there, ivies draped with growth over the past years. Kim Namjoon, Jungkook’s long time idol, smiled from a framed poster on his wall. Everything was still polished with his neatness, a habit you had always commended him for.

As you dried your damp hair, a photo frame catches your eye, sitting on the side of his bookshelf. Your breath catches in your throat. You slowly walk to the dainty item, painted white and blue to resemble noon skies. In the corner of the frame ignited a bright, pale limerence. Sparks of vivid blue and tangerine whipped through the wooden confines. You felt your heart thump against your chest. It was a—

"Daytime shooting star!" You gleamed, holding a paint brush into the sky, the handle rough from years of dried paint. It was a hot summer day, a few weeks after the end of seventh grade. Cicadas sung adamant songs through Jungkook's cracked open window as the two of you sat on his floor, blanketed with a fuzzy iron man carpet.

He looked at you quizzically, "a daytime shooting star?" As far as Jungkook knew, there was no such thing. "Yeah," you chirp. "That's you, Kook. You're my daytime shooting star." Jungkook nearly dropped his paint brush then, risking his favorite carpet as he looked at you, wide eyed with stun. You were wearing his t-shirt as per usual, your face smudged with blue paint and an innocent smile. Jungkook hated you for it.

It was always your choice of words—my Jungkook, my Kook, my Kookie, and now, my daytime shooting star—that he swore would be the death of him every single time. He didn't even know what you meant, but he didn't care, because being called yours was enough to kill him.

"Th-Thats stupid," he mumbled as he looked away, a futile attempt to hide his burning cheeks. "That doesn't even make sense." When the air shifted to silence, Jungkook immediately regretted his words. He quickly turned back around, fearing he accidentally hurt your feelings due to his own fluster. Maybe that was when Jungkook realized you really had grown up since the 6th grade, because this time, tears didn't drip down your cheeks. Instead, your eyes were curious and doe as you tilted your head to your side. "Does it matter?"

"What?

“A lot of things don’t make sense, but does it have to matter?” You frowned.

“I-I don’t—”

“I like you a lot, Kook,” and though you weren't at the least bit shy saying so, Jungkook’s emotions exploded everywhere. “I don’t think you need reasons to like someone, but you’re my daytime shooting star, Kook, and that's my reason. Can't I just like you? Does it...does it have to make sense?”

It felt like light years as Jungkook stared, red as he looked into the golden specks of your eyes, glinting from the blazing sun. “I-I don't know,” he gulped, his voice small. He was going to leave it at that at first. He didn't know what to say—what he could say. His mind was as clumsy and berserk as a deflating balloon to your previous words, but when he saw your sullen eyes and mopey pout, he felt an inadvertent panic in his gut.

His eyes shifted to his boom box. Etched on the side of the speaker was Doraemon, giving him a childish wink and thumbs up. Jungkook groaned in annoyance and you looked up, curious as he scratched the back of his head. "M-maybe we could...see it," he mumbled, barely grumbling, but your heart leapt with every syllable of his words. "Someday, together. The—"

“Daytime shooting star.”

You jumped, instantly whirling around to see Jungkook leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed over his torso. His eyes were soft, as if his gaze itself caressed you. “Y-You...” your thumb grazed the flimsy wood. “You still have this.”

“Yeah, and I still don’t have a photo,” he chuckled, making his way towards you. “14 years of friendship and you’d think we’d finally have a perfect picture to put in the frame.” It was pretty silly now that you thought about it. Despite spending a whole summer’s day decorating the item with childlike ambivalence, you never allowed Jungkook to slide a photo in it. No, it couldn’t just be any glossy photograph. You fussed over the concept of a perfect portrait, but nothing ever satisfied you enough, and with each passing year, it must've slipped your mind.

“I don’t get it... We haven’t talked for like, three years, and you still have this?”

"Does it have to make sense that I did?” Jungkook tilted his head, his eyelids lowering to look down at you. You open your mouth to reprimand him for using your words against you, but no words come out. Fuck. You swear it was his eyes—you’ve always said they were full of magic when you were children. It must’ve been that damned spellbinding luster that stole your voice. “What did you mean?” Jungkook takes a tentative step forward.

“Huh?” It came out like a breath.

Maybe it was the dim incandescence of the room, complementing the silhouette of his sculpted physique. Maybe it was the fact that the cloth he wore seemed too thin, too tense around his biceps and broad shoulders. Maybe it was because his first three buttons were left unclasped, teasing the faint outline of his chest. Or maybe it was the fact that you were so used to being in eye level with him—hell, looking down at him in the earlier points of your life. But you realized then, as Jungkook stared at you with a glint you couldn’t seem to quite recognize, how small you felt in front of him. Under him.

“When you said I was your daytime shooting star. You never explained it to me, what you meant,” Jungkook takes one final step forward, and the distance between you is insignificant. You don’t move—didn’t even think you could with your back pressed against his bookshelf. You could only return his gaze, doe eyes wavering beneath his. “What I meant to you...what I still mean to you.”

Your breath hitches, “Kook...”

“Fuck, I missed that,” his voice is low, breathless as his fingers brush your cheeks. “So fucking much, Y/n. I missed you calling my name, whatever you say. Kook, Kookie, Jungkook—I don’t care, just missed your voice, I still do. Don’t you know? Everyday, how much I long for you?”

Your eyes widen at his assertion. Wherever this was coming from, you didn't have the heart to stop it. "J-Jung—"

“—I miss you, Y/n. Any time I'm not around you it hurts and every time I am it hurts even worse.” His voice is so gentle, you fear he could hear the rhythm of your heart beat, palpitating with the heavy raindrops against his window.

“Why....why did you push me away?”

The waves were restless that cold, autumn night—you saw it through the fogged window of the train. Exhaustion tugged your eyes and your muscles screamed with every movement. As the train tracks rumbled beneath you, you wondered if you were even alive anymore, at least, it didn’t feel like it. All that was certain to you was the midnight stars outside, following you no matter where you went.

You didn’t know when the train entered the station, sighing to a stop as the doors slid open with a loud gush. It was probably 2am—Maybe 3, and the carts didn’t hold people this time around. At least you didn’t think it did, you honestly didn’t have the energy to even think about it. You only wondered how further you could go without knowing exactly how far you already went. Your neck ached from your head hanging low, and if it was cold, you didn’t feel it. All you felt was numb. An aching, dull pain eating away at your heart.

It was when you heard rushed heaves and loud footsteps that your eyes widened to see a familiar pair of green converse stop in front of you. You lift up your head to see Jungkook, cheeks red either from crying or the cold, maybe both. His brows were deeply furrowed as he crouched down, his hands gripping your shoulders.

“C-Can you hear me, Y/n? Are—are you okay?” You only nodded. He felt like a mirage, a dream.

You didn’t know what he saw in you that caused the droplets of sorrow to drip from his eye—whether it was the bruises covering your body, or the deep eye bags from restless nights at work—but it made you sad, how he looked at you. You wished he’d stopped. You wished you could be so far away that he didn’t have to look at you anymore.

“You’re, fuck, you’re freezing,” Jungkook quickly pulls his coat off and swathes it around you. “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry I didn’t get here earlier.” You shook your head, your dull headache being replaced with confusion. “Why are you even apologizing, Kook? H-How did you even find me? Why are you even here?” You had turned off your cell the whole day and gave no indication to where you’d be. You didn’t even tell Jungkook how you were feeling, it made no sense to see him there, holding you.

“We’re soulmates remember? Of course I’d know,” Jungkook tries his best to give a smile. “I’m here because you are. Just—look, lets get you out of here first okay?” Before you can tell him you can walk by yourself, he lifts you up, taking your hand as he leads you out. “The next train back to Seoul arrives in 8 minutes,” Even when Jungkook and you sit down on a bench, he doesn’t let go. He’s shaking, you realize, with his fingers intertwined with yours. It was as if he wanted to hold you tighter, but he was afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of hurting you? Or afraid of you hurting him if you slip out of his grasp any further?

“How did you know?” You begin again. “I told you I was sick, I called the school too. A-and how did you even know where I was?”

“You called in sick for three days Y/n,” he frowns, “and you haven’t texted me once. I was so worried, fuck, I was so fucking worried when I went to your house to see that you weren't there. All my calls went straight to voice mail, and I saw...I-I saw the shattered beer bottles, the blood. I-I panicked, even thought of calling the police,” when your face goes rigid, he assures you, “of course I wouldn’t though, I would never do that you. But anyway, it took me awhile to guess, and I wasn’t even sure—just started running. I imagined you’d definitely be in a space ship to Pluto right about now, but I took a risky bet on the train station. You know, being much more accessible to us and all.” When Jungkook finishes light heartedly, you give a dry laugh, “you know me so well, Koo."

His small grin falls shortly as silence does, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on your hand. When he speaks again, his voice is quiet, sad, “You always...you always said you’d bring me. We’re a team aren’t we? You and me, I-I thought...I would’ve been there, Y/n. You know I'd be there for you in a heartbeat. Don't you trust me?”

"Of course I trust you, Kook," you quickly assure him through your thin veil of tears. It hurt too much to know you were the reason for the crack in his voice, for the ache in his heart, for his glazed eyes. You couldn't stand his pity, but you couldn't stand being the source of his grief either. "Then why didn't you call me..? All I ever wanted was to be there for you, all I ever want is to be by your side, y/n. Why won't you just let me help you?”

“Because you don’t understand, Kook,” you croak. “You don't understand how hard it is for me—how hard it's always been. It'll only ever always be like this, and I-I can't just...fuck Kook, I can't just depend on you every time I get hurt. My problems are for me to sort out, I have no one but myself.”

“But you have me, y/n," the tears you fought so hard to hold back falls when Jungkook covers both your cheeks with his hands. The boy inhales sharply, trying to calm himself from crying any longer as he presses his forehead against yours. "It hurts me so much when you talk like that, y/n. You have me, you always have me. A-and it scares me because sometimes it just feels like I don't have you, that I never did and—"

"Jung—"

"You’ve been so distant lately," his breath is shaky and hot against your skin. "....It feels like you’re going to leave me. Please, don’t. Don't leave me behind like this, y/n.” You don't say anything else, too overwhelmed with his heartache beating with yours. In that cold autumn night, all you could do was cry in his arms.

The train arrives shortly.

“Lets go home," Jungkook murmurs sweetly against your skin. He kisses your forehead softly, and when he does, it feels like you already are home.

“Come here,” he grins, standing up with his hand out. You take it. “Have you eaten yet? I can make us food when we get back. What would you like?”

“Honestly? Just ramen.” Jungkook groans as you step inside the desolate train cart. “You know I could cook something way better for us."

"Nothing is better than ramen with eggs, Kook," you chide, giggling when Jungkook rolls his eyes. You take your hand away from him, and Jungkook tenses, only to relax when you cup his cheek once more. “But seriously, thank you, Jungkook. For everything. For worrying, being here for me, for finding me." He smiles, his eyes like crescent moons luminescent with love as he looks down at you, "always.”

"You said you'd do anything for me right?”

“Of course, anything, y/n.”

“Then please stop after this," you keep your small smile even as Jungkook's brows furrowed with confusion. You said it so simply, so plainly that he thought he might have heard you wrong. "What do you...?"

“Nothing will change after this. Nothing. I can't escape from my life, I can't escape from debt or my dad no matter how hard I try—and being the cause of your anxiety won't help me. I don't need a savior, and I don't think you need me holding you back either. We're burdening each other Kook.” With a heavy gush, the train doors start sliding shut and before Jungkook can even comprehend your words, you step out. “Don't have worry about me anymore, okay?”

“W-Wait— y/n—!” He’s quick to run, but it's too late. The doors slide shut, finally severing the thin red string of fate that held the two of you.

The rain falls with your tears as you cry into your hands, guilt washing over you like tidal waves. You remember his face the most, how heartbreak and betrayal etched with the dying fade of his smile. How you left him that day, how you left him everyday after that.

“I-I was just so tired, so tired of everything. I... I'm so sorry I pushed you away. I just didn't want you to worry about me anymore. You were always so good, everything about you, and I was scared I was holding you back and...and it hurt too much to stay knowing I was." Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your waist as his other hand gently pulled your head to his body. You're too stunned to move, but when you gather yourself, you decide you don't want to. You just cry, burying your face into his chest, your hands tightening around his shirt.

"I never once stopped thinking about you, y/n," he mumbled into your hair. "I never once not worried, never once not looked for you, and you—god, y/n—you never once held me back. Silly girl, don’t you know you were the only one who kept me together?” Jungkook lets out a noise, somewhere in between a sigh and a groan as he lowers his head onto your shoulder, "I did everything, anything to keep myself distracted from you. Competitions, sports, art, studies, friends.” His soft hair tickled your jaw as he nuzzled closer into the crook of your neck. “But I couldn’t, y/n, it was always you, it was never not you. Do you know how torn I was, watching you and not being able to talk to you? To hold you, be afraid of losing you even more than I already had?"

The pitter-pattering of the rain against the rooftop fills the voice you can’t seem to conjure. "Did you ever miss me?” Jungkook pulls away, and your eyes lock with his under the blue world. You realize then, by looking at him, just how scared he was. If you pushed him away again, he didn’t know what he’d do.

Reluctantly, you bring your hand to sweep Jungkook's tousled bangs away, brushing your fingers against the shell of his ear. "I did," you whisper, and more clearly, "I-I did, of course I did.” When Jungkook doesn't respond, your hand trails down his neck ... to his shoulders ... to his chest. "Do you hate me?"

Jungkook inhales sharply, "N-no." He could never.

"Your heart is beating so fast.... are you afraid?"

"I am."

"I am too," you lift his hand and place it against your own chest, laying it atop your own heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump, you don’t catch the pink of his cheeks when you’re too busy staring at the sad stars in his eyes. "I was too, back then. I know it's selfish, and i-i'm sorry I hurt you, but I hope you understand what kind of position I was in. I was so young, so scared—I just wanted to be alone, felt like it was a way to protect myself from anything else that could hurt me. I’m different now, I think, more stable—whatever that is," you chuckle dryly. "I can’t promise I won’t push you away, but I won’t leave anymore, really, s-so...."

Jungkook's eyes soften, his lids lowering when you say, "Can you trust me?"

"Of course," Jungkook breathes, “always.”

ACT III. | EPIPHANY

"Just go to sleep already, Jeon."

You've been repeating yourself for the past 3 hours, watching him restlessly saunter around his room. "...swear i’m missing something, I just don't know what..." Jungkook, like the countless of other times, dismissed you as he continued to tap his finger on his chin, mumbling to himself in intense focus. It was only when you’ve finally had enough, groaning and hurling a tissue box at him—which he instantly caught with ease—that he finally noticed your glare. "What was that for?"

"I said just go to sleep already!" You exhaled frustratedly, "you packed your whole room at this point, Kook. I swear you have, like, triple of everything you don't even need—so for the thousandth time, could you please just shut the lights?" It's been a few weeks since that one spring evening, and time started ticking again with Jungkook by your side. It took you awhile to adjust to his company, it was odd—but everything was odd at this point. Odd but comforting when Jungkook started visiting the rooftop every lunch, odd but reassuring when he'd pick you up after every shift, and odd but exciting to spend the night with him before the anticipated field trip to Jeju island. The four days were a granted escape before the tumultuous finals of the upcoming winter. Even you were a bit eager to go, having finally taken a justified leave off work.

"Fine, fine, but if I do end up forgetting something important, I blame you," Jungkook huffs, sauntering to the light switch. “Go ahead,” you roll your eyes, and with a small click!, a satisfied sigh escapes your lips. “Finally,” You snuggled into his pillows, but when the bed dips down right next to you, you realized you had forgotten to ask Jungkook to shut his mouth as well. "Will you sit next to me on the way there?" You squinted to the darkness, raising your brows at the silhouette of his figure. "Jungkook, you're literally my only friend, do you even need to ask?" He chuckled, "but will you? We don't have to sit with my friends if you don't want to."

You hummed, thinking as Jungkook carefully brushed loose strands of hair away from your face, the warmth of his fingers trailing down the side of your neck. You were reluctant about being seen with Jungkook at first, but the choice wasn't left to you when his friends spotted you and him at the library sometime ago. It honestly wasn't as bad as you expected, and more surprisingly, you even clicked with a few with them. Seokjin was one you gravitated to the most, being a truly funny and charming senior that you felt you could look up to. "No, it's fine. I like your friends." Jungkook’s head perked up, and the darkness captures the bright twinkle in his eyes. "Really, you do?" You smile, knowing how happy that must have made him. "Really, I do. Now can we please go to sleep? I'd like to be at least remotely awake for the first day."

“Okay, okay, grumpy head," a bunny like grin appears on his face as pinches your cheek, chuckling when you only grumble in return.

He strokes your hair down one last time before placing a kiss on your forehead. “Good night, y/n.”

"Good night, Kook," the reassuring warmth of his skin leaves yours, and you hear him shuffle in his own mattress on the floor. It's been awhile since you've felt like this, so safe. Though it didn't necessarily matter, being with Jungkook was different with Taehyung, you noticed. When it came to Taehyung, it was as if all your problems could dissipate with his touch. That for a moment, they could just disappear.

When it came to Jungkook, though, your problems were still there. They existed, they were real, and yet, when you with him, it felt like everything would be okay. He was like a breath fresh air, and you felt like you could get through anything—whatever it may be, as long as he was there. With that thought, you slowly, but surely, drifted to sleep.

ringgggg!! ringgg!!! ringggg!!

What happened afterwards came in fragments of fuzzy memories, distorted with exhaustion. It was the phone ringing first, then it was the shuffle of Jungkook rising from his mattress. The ringing, his heavy yawn, the ringing, groggy footsteps, the ringing, the clatter of the drawer—and finally, silence. "Y/n...?" His voice barely reached where your mind was, deep inside the depths of whatever dream dimension you were in. "Y/n," he said again. No reply. "Y/n... Y/n!"

"What?!" You groaned, lazily sitting up with a snarl and a bed head. The ringing starts again and you rub your eyes to where your phone screen illuminated Jungkook's face. "What is it?" You mumble, a little concerned to his expression. "God, is it Mrs. Joomi again? I just paid this month’s rent like a few d—"

"Mr. Kim."

You freeze. The two, single words are akin to iced buckets of water being splashed onto your face, instantly waking you up.

"Taehyung with a heart and moon emoji—but that's Mr. Kim, isn't it? In that photo? That's his first name." Your heart lurches forward. 태형☽<3, displaying a low quality photo of him that you secretly took while he was preparing breakfast. It was once a happy morning, and this was once a happy night—disrupted by its forbidden rays of joy.

When Jungkook finally looks at you through the stark darkness, you can only stare back, your heartbeats filling the silent stun of your dry throat. The bubbly melody stops, and when you don't say anything, Jungkook's voice grows louder, "Y/n what—what the hell is this? Why is Mr. Kim calling you at 3am? Why do you have a photo of him? Why is his contact—"

"J-Jungkook," You nervously moved to sit on the front edge of the bed, attempting to speak as calmly as you can. Jungkook would understand...right? He wouldn't tell, he couldn't. He knows you, your financial situation. It was okay. "Remember when you asked me not to push you away? Well, this is me letting you in. This is me trusting you Jungkook, so please just hear me out." Under the moonlight's glower, you see the bob of his adam's apple rise and fall. "Taehyung, he—"

"Taehyung?" You wince, the acidity of his voice like bitter poison. "I-I mean, Mr. Kim. M-Mr. Kim, he...helps me."

"Helps you?" Jungkook scoffs. "At 3am? How could he—" Suddenly, Jungkook's eyes go wide. "Y/n, you don't mean..."

You nod stiffly, "he gives me money in exchange for....i-its consensual! He helps me," your cheeks heat up, hating yourself for allowing this to happen, having to explain yourself. “A-anyway the point is, you won't tell anyone, right? You understand, don't you, Kook?"

"Understand?! Y/n—he’s a teacher! He's seven fucking years older than us—are you stupid, what were you thinking?!" The sting of his words ring in your ears like a harsh slap across your face. Throughout your years together, Jungkook had barely had the heart to scold you, so you were more than unprepared for his hurtful words. Your shock quickly subdues into anger though, and you stand up, “what I was thinking? What I was thinking?! I don't know Kook, maybe thinking about my fucking electric bill! Thinking about how to pay off debt—how to buy food for fuck's sake! I've looked after myself my whole life, and this is no different."

"Still—This is wrong, y/n! You know that! There are other ways like, like—"

"Like what Jungkook?!" You're in front of him now, pushing at his chest. "Working my ass off in nine to fives? Well I do that, Kook, every fucking day and yeah, a fucking disappointment for me too that it's not enough. You could never know how its like for me, but out of everyone, you're supposed to...! You’re supposed to understand,” you chuckle bitterly, shaking your head as a futile attempt to shake the hot tears away.

"Y/n...” Jungkook’s anger diminishes into a frustrated panic. He tries to reach for you, hold you, anything to keep you from crying because of him—but you turn away, and despite himself, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. He sighs harshly, his voice much softer now, “I just—out of all these years, you could've asked me. I was always there, y/n, and you never accepted me. I know we talked about this already, but the fact that...” He shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I do understand, but I was always here. I was your best friend, why did you have to go to him? Am I...am I that unreliable to you?"

Your own heart sinks for him this time, quickly shaking your head. “No, Kook. I-It's not like that. I'm sorry this has to be so complicated, that i've made you feel small. You are reliable, Jungkook. You're my safe place, my person—always have been. I appreciated you so much but you need to understand how terrible it felt for me back then. I hated being pitied by you. You’re my friend, not a fucking philanthropist."

Jungkook takes your hand this time, "I never wanted to help you because I pitied you, y/n. You were always so strong, I don't think you could ever be someone I could pity. I wanted to help because I cared for you, loved you, and it breaks my heart knowing that you went through such lengths when you could've turned to me."

You sigh, threading your hands over the back of his hair. "It was all just circumstantial, Kook. Taehyung found me at a really low point in my life. I didn't search for it, but he was there and i’m thankful for yim, so please Jungkook, please." Your eyes wavered beneath his sad stare, hoping, pleading. Jungkook bites on his lip, cursing, "look...I won't tell on you if that's what you're thinking. I would never do that to you, i'm just worried. He's calling you at nearly 4am, y/n—shit, h-has he hurt you? Did he ever make you do anything you didn't want to?" Jungkook looks frantic for a second, but you quickly shake your head. "N-no! No, god no, he's never hurt me! You know him Kook, Tae would never hurt me." You miss how you even said Tae or how Jungkook's jaw clenched to it.

"I won't say anything, y/n, at least...not yet. You have to end it."

"W-What?"

"He took advantage of you in a low position in your life, y/n."

"N-No Kook, you don't understand!"

"It's not your fault, y/n, it's completely his. He's the adult here, it was wrong. You have to end this."

"But I can't! The money, Kook, you know I can't."

"Then let me help you," he steps closer. Your hands slide to his chest now, shaking your head. "No, Jungkook, my answer has been no and its still no. I refuse to be your charity case," you scoff. "Then you're not going to be. I'll pay you to sleep with me too."

Your eyes instantly shoot open. What..?

"I'll pay you to sleep with me," he repeats calmly. "Anytime you need it, anytime I want it, and I'm certain I'll be able to give you more than whatever Mr. Kim could." Your mouth only hangs open, words dying in your dry throat.

"What's wrong?" Jungkook asks, taking a step closer. This time, you take a step back. "If you were fine with doing it with Mr. Kim, shouldn't it be fine with me?"

"N-No," your voice is barely a shaky whisper. More clearly, "No, Jungkook. I can't just—we just started talking again. You're my only friend, I won't ruin us just for—"

"I won't let anything happen to us, I promise y/n."

"B-but—"

"You don't have to worry about it, okay? Plus, isn't this situation more ideal? You'd get paid more and you wouldn't have to rely on—"

"I love him!"

Its Jungkook's turn to be silent. "What..?"

"I love him Kook," you croak, heat overwhelming your cheeks.

"Y/n..."

"I know it's wrong, I know he seems like an asshole but he's not. I know him, Kook, and i’m mature enough to know myself too. I made my decision back then, and I keep making it today because...I love him." You can’t help but feel your anguish trickle down your eyes, and you cry into your hands. That’s it then. It’s done. You’ve finally admitted it, yet despite the burden of the untold truth lifting—you felt heavier, worse. By now, Jungkook would’ve pulled you into a warm embrace. He’d hush you with soothing murmurs and delicate kisses on your forehead. He’d trail his fingers through your hair, tell you that he knew, that he gets it, that it was okay. But he doesn’t. He couldn’t. You were crying for another man, and all he could feel was ache.

Your phone rings once more, and from the night stand, you see Taehyung’s figure on the dimmed screen. You reluctantly look at Jungkook, but when he doesn’t say anything, his expression unreadable, you take it. "H-hello?"

"Hey, doll," Taehyung's voice is low. "I’m sorry I keep calling, I feel really shit for waking you up at this time. I know the Jeju trip is in a few hours, but I just needed to talk to you."

"No, no, its fine. I was already awake anyways, um...what is it?" You turned away from Jungkook, nervously biting on your lip. Despite everything that had unfolded between the two of you, it was strange. Taehyung never called you at this time after all—and him saying you guys needed to talk only heightened your nerves.

"It's better to talk in person. Where are you? I can pick you up." You shake your head, despite not him being able to see you. "N-No, i’ll come over...is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll see you soon." With that, the call ends. You can feel Jungkook’s eyes on your back—its overwhelming, and you’re scared to face the definite disgust and judgement in his them, so you don’t look at him when lift your bag across your shoulder. "I’m sorry, I...I need to go.”

ACT IV | LOVE IS NOT OVER

Jungkook hasn't seen you since last night. You never showed up at the meeting spot, never answered his calls or texts—never even once read the 68 of them.

He was certain you came, though—he checked in with Mrs. Yoon before boarding, but you were always good at hiding, and Jungkook was always an impatient seeker. The whole process of arriving, checking into the hotel, and splitting into groups was a whole blur that ended in him never finding you. After spending hours exploring the designated routes through antique shops, cute cafes, pretty sceneries, and meadows with his friends, he started to fear that you didn't come after all—that Mrs. Yoon had made a mistake.

Surely, he would've bumped into you at least once through the whole trip. And where the fuck was Mr. Kim? Jeju was supposed to be the pinnacle of his highschool experience. He’d be elated with the giddiness of being out with his friends, kissed with the gift of delicious freedom. But it was 7:46 PM now, and even when he overlooked the vast beach dipped with sunset's entrancing glow, he felt anything but. Not when Seokjin cracked his lame dad jokes, nor when Eunha got him to bike through scenic trails.

Jungkook sighed as the strawberry milk clattered to the bottom of the vending machine. He spotted it tucked away from the corner of the museum his group wandered into. He excused himself, relieved that their chaperone actually trusted him to be by himself. He needed the space.

He poked the straw through the carton, leaning against the cold metal as his eyes gazed over the glistening waves. He hated you. Always leaving him like this, always making him restless and unsure.

It was when he looked for the moon in the dusk sky that he noticed a familiar silhouette amidst the shore. It wavered with the wind, and Jungkook instantly felt his scorn. The man's jeweled hand was holding a cigarette between two fingers, overlooking the ocean with distant eyes.

Fuck the sand, fuck his expensive shoes, fuck everything. Jungkook doesn't know when he starts running, but he doesn't stop.

It all happened so past—the sun would have missed it if not for the perfect view she had just over the excited ripples of the ocean. When Taehyung noticed his presence, it was already too late. Jungkook had grabbed his collar, and without a second of hesitance, punched him across his face. Taehyung fell into the sand with a grunt, cursing loudly. “What the fuck?!” He turned to his perpetrator, his glare quickly diminishing into pure shock to see his own student right in front of him, eyes poisoned with resentment and hatred.

Taehyung's emotions came whirling at him all at once. The confusion, then the anger, the urge to scream at him and punch him until he was left bleeding on the shore—then the mediating side of him, understanding that he'd done more than enough to get his ass fired, why the fuck would he...?—then the realization. He sighs roughly, shaking his head as he stands. He isn't up for long though, as Jungkook takes another swing. Taehyung’s cheeks scream with stinging pain, but Jungkook’s on top of him, and he doesn’t stop.

"You fucking bitch!" Jungkook seethed, barely feeling his fist continuously bury into Taehyung’s face. He knew. He knew how much you loved him, he knew Taehyung helped you. He knew you'd get angry, maybe even hate him for the rest of his life for this—But maybe that's why he couldn't control himself. He didn't care if you thought Taehyung was some angel. To him, Taehyung was just a disgusting predator who took advantage of your situation, and deep down, maybe it was more for a selfish reason. Taehyung was a man who touched you, who had you—who wasn’t him. "You disgusting fuck. Don't ever fucking touch y/n again, you hear me?!" Another hit, but Jungkook is too blinded with anger to realize the scary amount of blood drooling down his nose and lips, from the cuts of his cheeks. "I know," Taehyung rasps.

"If you know then why did you do it?! You’re a fucking creep, you’re disgusting.”

"I know," another hit, and blood stains his shirt. Taehyung curses and grabs Jungkook's fist before he can throw another punch, pushing him into the sand. "You dick, I swear to god, I swear to fucking god I'll fucking kill you." Jungkook thrashes under Taehyung, but the teacher buries both his wrists into the ground, his weight holding the younger boy down.

“Sh-Shit, Look, I know how you must feel about me, and I know I deserve this, but I would much rather avoid being seen like this so I'm going to say this quick and you're going to listen."

"Fuck you," Jungkook growls, glaring at the man on top of him. His eyes were unreadable, almost enigmatic, and Jungkook hated every unwavering speckle of deep brown in it.

"I don't regret it," Taehyung disregards him. "I liked her—y/n—and no matter what you think of me, that stands true. You must like her too, she told me about you some nights. I have to admit, hearing about another boy when she's laying in my own bed wasn't very pleasant for me, but you made her happy. You mean a lot to her," Jungkook shut his eyes tightly, cursing as he tried to get the image of Taehyung holding you in his arms out of his mind. "I know you don't think I care about her, but I do, so just fucking listen for a second okay? I know i'm no good for her, but you aren't either. You're too immature, we both know y/n deserves way more. See where you are now? Right under me when you could be there for her? Have you even seen her today? Have you asked her how she's been?"

"What... what the fuck are you saying."

Taehyung sighs, and stumbles back to stand, wincing as the harsh winds slap his bloodied face. He nimbly looks for his cigarette, and before he lights it, Jungkook grabs his lighter. "I said what the fuck do you mean?!"

"I ended it with her," Taehyung glares at him, his voice firm, cold as he snatches the lighter back. Jungkook feels his heart drop. “You...what?"

There's silence, and when the man turns to look at the sun drowning into the ocean’s abyss, he lights the cigarette, "the fireworks are starting soon." Jungkook's eyes widens. Before he knows it, he's already running.

You’ve always loved the fireworks.

His footsteps that were submerged into sand were now padding against the concrete of the sidewalk, his heart pounding in his ears. A few cars must have honked at him here and there as he ran through the streets, unknowing of his surrounding because all he can think of his getting to his destination—you. He frantically reaches for his phone, panting.

You

JK : where are you?

my love : my room

my love : 613, 7th floor

JK : on my way.

ACT V. | HOLD ME TIGHT

At least the fireworks were pretty.

Your eyelids drooped, puffed with drowsy red as you watched the sparkling scene on the balcony of the hotel. Evening's cold breeze teased your bare legs, dancing with the delicate ends of your black, satin nightgown. You were hugging yourself yourself, leaning against the cold railings as sparks of vivid red shatter into memories tainted with heartbreak. The red silk sheets that you grasped tightly beneath you. The red lingerie that Taehyung slid off your skin. The red wine he poured into the pan when you told him you were hungry. You liked watching him the most, you thought as he stood in front of the stove, his eyes trained on the steak. You liked watching him unbutton his top, talk about his day, how he let out loud laughter whenever a funny story would come up. You loved when he unveiled himself for you, when he'd strip off his enigmatic persona bare and let you peer into his soul.

But that's all you ever did, you guessed, all you ever could do. You watched him when he smiled down at you, his cold fingertips brushing your waist, and you watched him as he left.

It must've been 4 minutes into the firework show when you heard the doorbell ring. Sighing, you leave the balcony as yellow ignites the night sky. You open the door to Jungkook, his chest heaving up and down, his hair tousled by wind, beads of sweat sticking to his neck.

When he doesn't say anything, and neither do you, you step aside to let him in. You wonder if he was still angry about last night, how he'd react when you tell him—but with the way he looked down at you, tender eyes dawned with sadness, you already understand you don’t have to. "I know," Jungkook steps closer, pulling you into a hug. His warmth embraces you as darkness does when the door clicks shut. "What happened, I know."

You sighed, closing your eyes. The fireworks sounded so distant compared to his heartbeat. Jungkook must've ran for you, you thought as your buried your face into his chest. Of course he would, he always has. Maybe that certainty is what intoxicates you to murmur, "I'll accept it."

"What?"

"What you proposed last night, I'll accept it," you say calmly, quietly. You looked up at him with wavering eyes, "please...I need you right now."

Jungkook's heart practically lurched out of his chest. He knew he should take a step back, tell you that you'd end up regretting it and to take it back before it was too late. He knew, but the devil on his shoulder was much more insistent than his angel, and maybe... maybe his angel wanted it too—so fuck it all.

Jungkook took your lips in a magnetic dance, drawing you closer into him with one hand on your lower back and the other behind your head.

God, you were so lovely. How your head lolled for him, soft, plush lips jarred open. Jungkook has always been good at controlling himself when it came to you, but when he heard the slightest whimper escape your trembling lips, he felt he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

He didn't seek for permission to suck your lower lip, didn’t even seek permission to slide his tongue inside your lovely little mouth when you gasped. He held your chin, deepening the kiss. More, more, more—he wanted more of you. He wanted to explore your body, wanted to make your breath tremble, wanted to find out what you liked and disliked under bedsheets. Jungkook wanted to know you better than anyone else had. He wanted you, needed you.

“Kook,” You whimper into him as he pushes you against the wall, holding your thigh up. He grinds his bulge against your clothed cunt, sending wild tremors along your nerves. “F-feels so good.”

“Yeah?” He takes your other thigh, and you yelp as he lifts you up. Your surprise quickly washes out with haze when he buries his thick tent further into you. You let out a moan, wrapping your legs around his torso. “I can make you feel even better.”

The explosions of the fireworks are blurred with the palpitations of your heart as Jungkook lays you on the bed, his lips immediately finding home in yours. "Love how you sound for me, love," Jungkook’s wet, needy kisses trail down your neck...to your collarbones...to your breast. “So pretty like this, always so pretty,” his fingers ghost your sensitive nipples, perked from evening's cold. He doesn't waste any time to take one nipple into his mouth, his fingers playing with the other.

His cold hand trails down your stomach, finally pressing it down your soaked underwear. He smirks, feeling the soaked outline of your pussy lips. “Already so wet for me baby? How cute."

His plush lips leave your nipple with a pop, instead latching onto the crook of your neck. Your eyes go wide when you realize what he's about to do. “Wait, d-don’t! Not th—ah.” He doesn't allow you to finish your sentence, swiftly sliding your underwear out of the way before pressing a hard thumb over your clit. “Don't deny me, y/n,” His voice is low over your whiny moans. He sucks on the supple of your skin as he slides one, slender finger into you, smoothly drawing it in and out while he rolls your little bud with his other. “Please, need to show everyone that you’re mine,” he murmurs, licking his work, perfectly tinged with a pretty pink . “Besides...” he trails, taking note of your arousal dripping down his wrists. “You love this, don’t you?”

“N-No..! I...ah, K-Kook, Kookie..!” Your voice fails you, moans escaping from your trembling lips. “Jungkook s-stop..!” Jungkook frowns against your skin, and he lifts his head up to meet your gaze. “Why not?” His eyes are dark. You try to fight the muddle of your mind as his slow, tentative fingers continue to work on your cunt. “B-Because...because student c-council. It's inappropriate, and your friends will ask, a-and... mm!—“

“Taehyung?” Jungkook says bitterly, but you’re too indulged with the knot in your stomach. You moan loudly, your hands finding anchor wrapped around his biceps. “I'm sure you don’t want Taehyung to see, do you?” Jungkook's pace is furious now, and you barely make out his words through the thick fog of your mind. You feel so close. “Don’t want him to know that you're with me, hm? That i’m finger fucking you into my dumb whore."

His indecent words paint a wild blush on your cheeks. You never knew Jungkook could be like this, could be so mean.

"You know what I think..."

Jungkook lowers himself down between your sweaty thighs, quivering with painful pleasure. "''Think my dumb babygirl wants me to clean her messy little pussy up. Would you like that, love?"

"Y-Yeah," you moan, desperately bucking your hips up, "p-please eat me out, Kook."

"Needy girl," Jungkook lets out a sigh, his pants tightening around his painful hard on. You were so pretty like this, Jungkook swore he could cum just by watching you.

You almost cry when he pulls his fingers away, instead squeezing around your squishy hips. You do cry, though, when he gives your pussy a tantalizing lick, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. "Knew my baby girl would taste so sweet," he groans. His tongue circles around your throbbing bud, sucking on it.

"Fuck! K-Kook, I-I can't," you wail, tears falling down your cheeks. Jungkook only flutters his eyes open, watching you with heated eyes as his tongue works on your wet cunt.

"Please, g-gonna cum, please!" Your back arches. Jungkook's hands the only thing anchoring you down.

"Then cum, baby, cum for me." Jungkok's voice is tender, coaxing like warm honey. With his encouragement, your dripping cunt spasms, unfurling your cream all over him. "That's my girl," His attentive tongue takes your sweet release, the embarrassing sound of slurping clouding your brain.

"You were so good for me, baby," He cooes, planting one final kiss on your quivering bud. Your cheeks tinge with a shy pink.

He lifts himself up, carefully laying over you so his forehead is pressed against yours. His eyes search yours under the veil of the moonlight. The fireworks must've stopped along the way, your heavy breaths filling the quiet room. "Tired, love?" Jungkook whispers, and you nod timidly, reaching your arms out to hug him.

Your skin is sticky with sweat like melting ice cream on hot summer days, but Jungkook adores his body pressed against yours. His fingers squeeze your smooth waist, placing gentle kisses on your neck, up your jaw, capturing your lips once more in a slow dance. A thin string line of saliva connects the two of you when he pulls back, and he breaks it off with a gentle graze across your wet lips.

"Think you can continue for me, baby?" Jungkook asks soothingly. "It's okay if you can't, of course. Must've been such a long day for you."

You shake your head, your hand lightly tracing the outline of the small scar on his cheek. You still remember the day he fell off his bicycle, somehow managing to tumble down the hill all the way to the train tracks. It must've been the first time you ever saw him cry.

"I want to."

"Are you sure?" His eyebrows perk up. "Because we really don't have to. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to please me. I know you took my offer, but if you aren't ready or comfortable, nothing has to happen. Believe it or not, pleasuring you already makes me feel euphoric." His words have you melt, gentle as a sweet night's lullaby.

"But I want us to feel good together," you say softly. "Please take me, Kookie. I want you." Jungkook's eyes widen, faint pink blooming on his cheeks, and you watch the stars in his eyes grow brighter with your shy gaze. He lets out a small chuckle, "god, you really don't know what you do to me, y/n."

He places a gentle peck on your lips one last time before rising to his knees, discarding his clothes. You're quick to slip off your nightdress and underwear, and you patiently admire Jungkook's toned physique as he worked to unbuckle his belt. Even the moon was enamored with him, tracing its luminous glow from his broad shoulders to his biceps, wrapping around his slim waist.

Your breath hitches when his dick springs out right in front of you, thick and swollen, oozing pre cum. Jungkook watches you with heated eyes, his hand grazing his dick. "Wow," you breathe, sitting up and replacing his hand with yours. Jungkook's hisses when you stroke his cock, doe eyed to his length that throbbed with neglect. "You're so pretty, Kookie. You're pretty everywhere..."

"I should be the one who's telling you that, darling," he lets out a shaky breath through his smile, his hand finding your cheek. "Now, i’d love for that lovely little mouth of yours to suck my cock, but I feel like i'm gonna explode any minute now, and i'd like to do so inside of you," he chuckles when a furious blush takes your cheeks. You let him push you down, positioning himself in between your legs. He takes his pulsating cock in his hands, sliding his glistening head over your cunt. "Would you like that baby? Want me to cum in this cute little pussy? Wanna take Kook's cum like a good girl?" You feel yourself shy from his words, whimpering, "y-yes please, Kookie."

"Tell me how much you want it, baby."

"S-So bad. Kookie p-please, want you to fill me up."

"Yeah?" Jungkook chuckled, a cocky smirk on his lips that made you tremble. "Think your tiny pussy can even take my cock?"

"Y-Yes, m'pussy wants your cock, p-please Kook!"

"Dirty girl, love it when you beg for me," he pushes the blunt head of his cock into your swelling entrance, already having you see stars by the time he fills you up whole. "You okay?" Jungkook breathes out, his forehead falling against yours. You nodded timidly, "j-just need a little time to adjust."

"Okay, baby, tell me when you're ready." He pecks your nose, letting out a shaky sigh as your walls clench around him. When you do, Jungkook takes your knees, pushing them on either side of you so your legs are spread out wide for him.

He pulls out his whole cock so he could see the flush tip of his cock before plunging back into you. You moan loudly to his even pace, bottoming you out with every thrust.

"F-fuck, been wishing for this forever. Just want to punish this pussy for making me wait for this long."

Harsh skin to skin contact and the squelch of your juices mixing together fills your fuzzy mind. You felt so full, you could practically feel him in your belly. "Shit, you're practically swallowing me. You like this, don't you?"

"Y-yeah, love your cock, Kookie," you moan, his pace growing faster and more unforgiving. "I'm never letting you go after this, fuck y/n. You're mine, you’re so fucking mine. Say it, say you're mine, p-please."

"Yours," you whimper, feeling the familiar tingling ecstasy overwhelm your stomach. "O-Only yours, Kookie."

"That's right, baby, open your mouth." You didn't know exactly why, but you didn't question him. He could tell you to do absolutely anything right now and you'd do it. Your wet lips jar open for him, and Jungkook spits in your mouth, sending a wave of tremor through your body. "Swallow."

You listen, obediently swallowing. "That's my girl."

"Kookie, kookie...m'gonna cum!"

"Again baby? You’re so easy, barely have to do anything and you're spilling." You moan to his words, thrusting in and out of you in a hypnotic pace. "Go on then, baby. Cum for me, make a mess over my balls."

Your whole body tenses, feeling the overwhelming wave wash over you. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, you release around him the second time. "Good girl, baby, so good for me, fuck," Jungkook hisses to your tightening walls squeezing around him, driving himself into your belly until he pours all his cum deep inside of you.

You practically drooled, his load coming out in spurts of thick cream. When he pulls out, your pussy twitches, his cum oozing out. He falls onto your chest, and your heavy pants fill the room.

After awhile, Jungkook lazily pulls you to lay over him. "Okay, baby?"

"Mm," you murmur into his sweaty chest, trying to recollect your breath. You open your mouth to thank him, but a loud explosion takes your voice. In a second, waves of yellow wash the room, then blue, then purple. Your tiredness subdues into drowsy awe. You sit up and Jungkook does too, positioning you on his lap. "I think this is the second show. Timing is fitting don't you think?"

You giggle, and Jungkook sees daylight in your eyes. "Too fitting. I'm starting to think that this was all part of some big plan."

Jungkook rolls his eyes, laughing as he tucks a hair behind your ear. "Silly girl, of course it is." You look at him quizzically. "We're soulmates aren't we? The universe is just celebrating us."

You smile, sighing as you lean into his chest. "Whatever you say, my soulmate." Jungkook's eyes widen. He felt twelve again, dumbstruck euphoria overwhelming his love for you any time you called him yours. His shock settles into a soft smile, holding you in his arms while you watch the fireworks. It takes him awhile to realize your eyes are closed though.

"Sleepy, love? Thought you loved the fireworks."

"I do," you giggle, pushing him down onto the soft mattress. You snuggle into his chest. "Just listening to your heartbeat."

Jungkook blushes. He was going to urge you to clean up, but with you looking so cozy on top of him, he knew you'd much rather rest. He sighs lovingly, stroking your hair. He hasn't felt this happy in awhile. "About your payment, I’ll wire $800 just for tomorrow, but we’ll officially talk about the—"

“Shhhh!” You grumble, burying your head further into him. “Don’t wanna talk about money right now, just let me be with you.”

Jungkook blinks, and you look up to him with a pout. Purple lights up the seoul's night sky, casting an soft glow on Jungkook’s face. He chuckles, thumb brushing your cheeks.

"Needy girl.”

a/n : wooooo this took the longest time to write. its pretty bulky so whoevers got to this point i love you sosososo and i hope you enjoyed my work ! feedback is welcome and super appreciated, reading comments really do make my day <3 i was thinking of making a sequel/continuation for this but im not so sure ,, we'll see. anyways, i hope you have a lovely day my loves ! stay hydrated and healthy, i hope you eat good food today. make sure to take care of yourself too !

[jungshookz]

kiss me at midnight; myg

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; ceo!y/n x secretary!yoongiverse!! sfw!! fluff!! the title says it all!! this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for!! 

➺ wordcount; 8.1k

➺ summary; y/n finally musters up enough courage to tell yoongi about her i-know-i’m-your-boss-but-i-have-non-boss-feelings-for-you feelings. 

➺ what to expect; “careful, secretary min… i might have to give you a raise if you keep sweet-talking me like that.”

                                      »»————-　♡　————-««

“let’s see… the decorators are coming at 2, the caterers are coming at 6:30, the DJ is coming at 7…” yoongi reads out loud as he goes down his checklist, “the bartender sent over the special drinks menu which i emailed to you this morning, and- ah, right, the caterers mentioned that they were able to switch the mini hot dogs to sliders instead-”

“oh, that’s great! mini hot dogs just don’t carry the same level of class as teeny little hamburgers…” you narrow your eyes slightly as you clasp your hands in front of your face, tapping your fingers against each other, “what about the chocolate lava cakes?”

“mhm, don’t worry, those are on the menu as well, as per your request,” yoongi pauses, “ah- the people bringing the photo-booths are coming to set them up at 5 - we’ve already cleared out the space for them, so that should be good to go… also, are we putting a limit on photos?”

“a limit?”

“yes, a limit,” yoongi looks up at you and shrugs, “there’s only so much film and it wouldn’t be fair for one person to take ten photos and for another person to not have any at all.”

you immediately scoff before dismissing yoongi with a flick of your wrist, “silly yoongi, you can’t put a limit on fun. just tell them we’re willing to pay for extra film and for one of their workers to hang out at the party and wait until the booths need refilling.”

“there.. is no limit… on fun…” yoongi mutters to himself as he continues to scribble notes down in his notebook, “and… that’s it!” he clicks his pen before tucking it back into his shirt pocket, “pretty much everything has been taken care of. if all goes well, this’ll be a fantastic new year’s eve party.”

“yay!” you throw your hands up into the air before leaning back against your chair with a giggle, “this is so exciting. i love throwing parties!”

“and i love planning parties...” yoongi hums absentmindedly, looking back down at his list, “so i guess we make a pretty good team...”

“teamwork makes the dream work, right?”

“mm.” 

a couple seconds of silence ticks by as you scour through your brain for a new topic of discussion

you could... talk about the weather? 

or maybe ask him what he did over the weekend?

ask him about what he did on christmas day?? 

“so…” you clear your throat, smoothing your skirt down before folding your arms on your desk and leaning forward slightly, “you bringin’ any... hot dates to the party tonight?” 

wow

that was... not an ideal topic of discussion 

also, way to sound like a creep! 

“me?” yoongi glances up at you and tilts his head slightly, “well, i’ll be with you.” he pauses, dark brows knitting together, “did you… want me to bring a date?” he shifts in his seat, “i’m sure i can arrange for someone to accompany me if that’s what you want.”

“no!” your eyes widen and you shake your head quickly, “i mean- no, i was just- you know, i just- usually you have a plus-one that you bring to parties and, like, i’m sure that you probably had other new year’s plans that didn’t involve being at the party your boss is throwing- i’m just saying that perhaps, if you were planning on actually bringing someone, i just wouldn’t want to be a cock-block-” 

you’re cut off (thankfully) when yoongi’s phone suddenly starts to buzz on your desk

he extends his arm and catches it right as it’s about to fall off (which, admittedly, shouldn’t have been as hot as it was, but yoongi could be sitting there doing nothing and you’d still find it attractive) 

he holds a finger up pardon himself and you nod before leaning back a little

“hello? …oh, perfect. yes, i can come and pick them up now…” yoongi trails off, sandwiching his phone in between his ear and his shoulder before pushing his sleeve up a little to check the time on his watch, “i can be there in… roughly half an hour? yes. alright. perfect. see you soon.”

he hangs up with a beep before looking back over at you, “sorry about that! your dress and heels are ready for pick-up. what were you saying before my phone went off?”

“hm?” you clear your throat, “oh! uh… nothing. i was just- you know, small talk. but you can go now if you want to- i mean, obviously you need to go and pick up my outfit for tonight so i’ll just let you go-”

“alright, perfect-” yoongi nods and gets up from his seat, “i shouldn’t take too long but if anything comes up, just call me-” 

“yep! you got it, homie-” you shoot finger guns at yoongi before quickly forcing your arms down and shoving both your hands in between your knees so that they won’t do anything like that again 

your face flushes bright red as soon as the door shuts behind yoongi and a quiet groan slips past your lips before you smack your forehead down on your desk 

jesus

that... was rough, to say the least! 

sure, you fumble over your words whenever you talk to yoongi on a regular basis, but it’s never usually this bad... 

what’s gotten into you today?!

maybe it’s just the pre-party jitters! 

“get it together, y/l/n.” you mutter to yourself, patting your cheeks lightly before pulling your laptop towards you and opening it up 

if there’s anyone who can get you get your shit together, it’s hoseok

Y/N Y/L/N (10:12AM): help me

you perk up when hoseok responds almost immediately, your laptop letting out a little ping! from his message

you have half a mind to scold him for not doing work and being on the company’s messaging system but you dO need to talk to him right now so 

Jung Hoseok (10:12AM): What did you do this time

Y/N Y/L/N (10:12AM): nothing!! idk what’s wrong with my mouth today i’ve never called anyone homie in my entire life 

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): ?

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): you had to be here to understand :-//

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): Okay well

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): I don’t know what I’m supposed to say now

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): can you just come to my office because it’s too much to type out

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): and bring me an iced coffee from the vending machine while you’re at it because yoongi left to pick my dress up

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): Let me get this straight

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): You want me to stop working and you want me to go to your office so we can gossip about Yoongi

Y/N Y/L/N (10:14AM): gossip sounds bad

Y/N Y/L/N (10:14AM): ‘discuss’ sounds more professional

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): …

Jung Hoseok (10:15AM): See you in ten minutes lmao

                                     »»————-　♡　————-««

“you asked him if he was planning on bringing a date to the party?!” hoseok laughs, leaning back against the chair before folding his arms over his chest and shaking his head, “wow. what, are you going to help him plan his wedding too?”

“don’t say that!” you groan, rubbing your fingers against your temples in tight circles, “i was just trying to start a conversation… i don’t know...”

“start a conversation? about what? about encouraging yoongi to be with someone who isn’t you?” 

“keep up the attitude and i’ll reduce your lunch break from one hour and fifteen minutes to one hour and fourteen minutes.” you raise a brow in warning, hoseok gawking before wagging a finger at you 

“i’ll report you to HR for abuse of power!” he jokes, his smile faltering when he notices that you still have that mopey, kicked-in-the-gut look on your face, “okay, think about it this way: this party couldn’t have come at a better time, you know? because now you know exactly what you have to do!” 

“huh? oh, right.” you nod slowly, “yeah, of course i know what i have to do at tonight’s party.” you snort, pulling away from your desk and sitting up straight, “but... you know, just to make sure that you know what it is that i have to do, would you mind telling me what exactly we’re saying i have to do?”

“y/n. come on.” hoseok presses his lips together before leaning forward, “what do people usually do at new year’s eve parties?” he asks gently, in that infuriatingly condescending tone that people usually use when they’re talking to children

“people share their new year’s resolutions with each other?” you hum, thinking back to the new year’s eve party you were at last year where you ended up talking to a very friendly bartender about all the plans you had in mind for the new year 

hm

you can’t help but wonder how he’s doing 

“well, yeah, but not quite what i had in mind-” hoseok shakes his head, “what else do they do?”

“they... sing karaoke really loudly?” you frown before letting out a gasp, “oh no! i didn’t think of that! do you think it’s too late to rent a karaoke machi-”   

“wow, i really have to spoon-feed this to you-” hoseok slaps his hands against his thighs before letting out a huff, “a new year’s kiss, y/n. does that ring any bells?”

“oh, right! i forgot about that part,” you chuckle lightly, tilting your head back against the top of your chair to look up at the ceiling, “but what does that have to do with-” you pause, head snapping back down to look at hoseok with wide eyes, “oh, you’re saying that i should- with yoongi- hoseok, i can barely look at yoongi for five seconds without breaking eye contact-” 

“why not?! its new years! you have to have someone to smooch when it’s midnight. even i have someone to kiss!”

“wait, who are you kiss-” 

“and you know what the best part is?” hoseok grins, “you have an excuse to get super drunk tonight! and a drunk y/n is a slightly more confident y/n-”

“oh, i can’t- i can’t ask him, no.” you chuckle nervously, your hands suddenly feeling a little clammy at the thought of asking yoongi to kiss you, “because then he’s going to feel like he has to kiss me because i’m his boss, and the next thing you know, i’m being called up to HR-” 

“you’re overthinking this again, y/n,” hoseok sighs, “don’t forget the fact that i caught him checking you out at the halloween party. you have to admit that he’s slightly interested in you.”

“that’s different!” you argue, your brows furrowing, “i was dressed as a sexy friggin’ bunny, for god’s sake!”

“and tonight, you’ll be dressed as a sexy friggin’ boss! the only difference is that you won’t have a little cotton tail and two bunny ears-”

“i don’t know…”

hoseok rolls his eyes at your doubt and resists the urge to get up and slap you across the face to get you to come to your senses

you can’t expect anything to happen between you and yoongi if you’re not willing to do something about it in the first place

he can’t even list out how many times you guys have had similar conversations that always end in you chickening out and changing your mind

you were supposed to make a move at the halloween party but you ended up bailing on the plan at the last minute and hoseok had to listen to half an hour of you whining about it over the phone 

he adores you but sometimes he just wants to grab you and yell at you for being such a wimp when it comes to yoongi 

“okay, you know what? forget yoongi. i’ll be your new year’s kiss!” hoseok teases, leaning forward before wiggling his eyebrows enticingly, “maybe if people see me canoodling with the boss i’ll finally get the street cred i deserve-”

“you know, i don’t know if i’ve reached that level of desperation quite yet-”

“i’m a great kisser, so it’s your loss...” hoseok kisses his teeth, raising his hands in defense, “anyways, just try not to overthink it. take a deep breath, relax, and hopefully you won’t point any more lame finger guns at yoo-”

“-ooou’re fired!” you stand up and slam your fist down on the desk the moment yoongi steps into the room, hoseok jolting at the sudden announcement, “you are fired, my good sir! you heard me loud and clear!” 

yoongi’s eyes widen slightly and he presses his lips together before stepping aside and lowering his head  

“what the hell are yo-” hoseok glances over his shoulder and it dawns over him when he spots yoongi standing by the door, “oh! oh. uh, okay. yes... i am... devastated...” he clears his throat as he rises from the chair slowly, “please... give me a second chance? i... won’t do it again?” 

you blink, pulling down your blazer slightly before giving him a curt nod

“...okay, but this is your last chance. next time, you’re really fired.” you clear your throat, sitting back down before gesturing towards the door, “you may leave now, mr. jung.” 

yoongi nods in acknowledgement when hoseok walks past him and he waits a couple of seconds before speaking up 

“sorry. i didn’t realize you were busy because the door wasn’t closed all the way.” he smiles sheepishly, raising the garment bag in his hand, “i just wanted to put your dress in the closet for you.” 

“yes! go ahead.” you smile, gesturing towards the closet before sitting back down in your chair 

“by the way, i passed by that breakfast place on the way to the laundromat-” yoongi pauses, glancing over at you on his way to the closet, “you know, the place that makes those BLT bagels you like so much?” 

“ooh, with the spicy mayo and the avocado?”

“mhm-” yoongi smiles, shutting the closet door gently and turning to face you, “they do chocolate chip waffles now and i thought maybe that’d be something you’d be interested in for future breakfasts.” 

“oh, no way!” your eyes widen in excitement, “i’m very interested in chocolate chip waffles for future breakfasts!”

“that’s what i thought.” he chuckles, making his way back towards the doors, “anyway- i’ll be out there if you need me, boss.” 

“mhm!” 

you immediately get up from your chair as soon as yoongi leaves the room 

you told yourself that you were going to wait until tonight but you’ve been thinking about your dress all week and you wanna see it now!! 

“dress, dress, dress-” you murmur to yourself like a maniac, your heels clicking against the floor as you jog over to the closet 

you push down a squeal of excitement after unzipping the garment bag and getting a good look at your outfit for tonight

you spent hours searching for the perfect dress and it was totally worth it now that you’re looking at it  

it’s a navy blue midi-length dress that sort of cinches in at the waist but the skirt itself is relaxed so you don’t need to worry about your legs being constricted 

there’s also a high slit in the skirt which is exciting (you had to shave your legs yesterday which wasn’t as exciting) 

and it’s a long sleeve dress but the sleeves and sheer and billowy but cap around your wrists 

it’s classy but also a little sexy but not like your halloween playboy costume level of sexy

you’re still not sure what possessed you to dress up as a playboy bunny but even you have to admit that that little black dress looked great on you 

you zip the bag back up before pushing it aside to sneak a peek at the suit that yoongi will be wearing to the party 

he asked if he could keep his suit in your closet and obviously you said yes because it’s yoongi 

your eyes light up when you notice something peculiar about his outfit 

it’s navy blue as well!! 

the corners of your mouth lift in a wide grin, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of you and yoongi (unintentionally, but still) wearing matching colours tonight 

heh 

                                    »»————-　♡　————-««

“c’mon, stupid thing...” yoongi frowns to himself as he struggles to tie his tie

he’s been at it for the last ten minutes and it seems like his gummy worm fingers aren’t going to be useful anytime soon 

and it probably doesn’t help that he’s using his phone camera as a mirror instead of going to the bathroom to use the actual mirror

he doesn’t know if it showed this morning but he’s been a nervous wreck all day! 

he practically zipped out of your office as soon as he had the chance to and he just hopes that you’re not suspecting anything 

it’s just that as each day goes by, he gets more and more conflicted over what to do about his feelings for you 

this wasn’t supposed to happen!

when he first realized that you liked him, he was flattered and admittedly it was a nice stroke to his ego knowing that his boss was interested in him, but he didn’t know it’d turn into this 

he didn’t know he’d end up liking you back 

this is a disaster! 

he’s not supposed to like you back!

he already tried forcing himself to stop liking you but if anything it’s made things worse

he thought your schoolgirl crush was sweet at first and then one day he found your poor excuse of asking him to stay after hours to help you re-organize your pens was cute and ever since then it’s gone downhill 

like the other day when he was eating lunch with you - you took the paper sleeve that holds the chopsticks and you folded it into a makeshift chopstick rest and gave it to him to use and,,. he’d have to be crazy to not find that wildly endearing

yoongi lets out a huff and leans back against his chair as he looks at himself on his phone screen 

“good going, moron.” he grumbles to himself before lifting his hand and flipping himself off, “you and your feelings.”

of course, it’s not technically a... bad thing that he likes you back, right? 

...but what’s everyone going to think?

he knows that he’s on the list of people getting the christmas bonus (because he helped you type it out) but what if people think he just slept his way to the money?? 

oh, god

that’s not who he is!

this is too much to think about right now 

he just had this suit pressed and he’s not about to ruin it by nervously sweating in it 

he’s just going to enjoy this party with you and then deal with his feelings later!  

future yoongi can handle it

present yoongi is just going to enjoy the ride B-) 

“whatcha up to?” 

“-!” yoongi jumps and scrambles up from his seat when he hears your voice all of a sudden, “y/n! sorry, i didn’t hear you come out of... your... office...” he trails off, voice softening slightly as he takes in how beautiful you look in your dress 

obviously he already knew what you were going to wear because he was the one who picked up your outfit from the dry cleaner’s but... it’s a different experience actually seeing you in it 

beautiful 

there’s really no other way to describe it

you look... beautiful. 

“i don’t know why on earth you’re wearing a tie to a party.” you snort, eyes flicking down to the tie hanging loosely around his neck, “this isn’t a business meeting, yoongi.” (you decided it’d be best to take hoseok’s advice. no overthinking - just relaxing! and it seems to be going well...) 

“oh.” yoongi snaps himself out of his daze before shaking his head, “i… i don’t know why, either. i guess i’m just used to wearing a tie.”

“well, i say ditch it - you know, let loose a little! it’s new year’s eve, after all.” 

before yoongi even knows it, you’re stepping towards him and sliding the tie from his neck in one swift movement before tossing it onto his desk

ᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ

you even smell pretty 

he freezes when you reach up to undo a couple of buttons on his shirt, his hands gripping the edge of his desk so tightly that his knuckles are stark white 

“there we go!” you smile, fixing yoongi’s collar before nodding to yourself, “much better. also, do you think you can help me with my heels? i put them on already but the little buckles are flimsy and i can’t do them because of my nails.” you raise both your hands before wiggling your fingers 

“mhm, of course.” yoongi steps aside and gestures towards his chair, “take a seat and i’ll take care of them for you.”

yoongi’s chair squeaks slightly as you sit down on it and you make a mental note to get him a new one 

...maybe you should get everyone in the office new chairs to make your crush on yoongi less obvious

hm

lots to think about

“so, do you think anyone’s going to have fun tonight?” you ask quietly, leaning back against the chair, “i’m nervous.” 

“i’m sure everyone’s going to have fun, y/n,” yoongi lowers himself onto the ground so that he’s down on one knee before raising your leg so that your foot is pressed against his chest, “they get free food, free alcohol, and there are fun 2021 party hats and stupid 2021 glasses to match. what’s not to love?”

“me. i’m the part they don’t love.” you snort, propping your elbow up on yoongi’s desk before leaning against your fist, “i’m gonna take one step onto the rooftop and immediately ruin the party somehow. i bet the dj will stop playing music and his records will make that awkward scratchy sound.”

“don’t be so harsh on yourself…” yoongi scolds, tucking the thin strap into the buckle and giving it a little tug to make sure it’s nice and secure before lowering your foot gently, “besides, if anyone looks at you weirdly, i can just call security and have them escorted out of the party.” he tuts, smiling up at you as he lifts your other foot 

“ooh. careful, secretary min… i might have to give you a raise if you keep sweet-talking me like that.” you joke, pushing the ball of your foot gently against yoongi’s chest teasingly

“oh, yeah? i wouldn’t be opposed to that, boss…” the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a side smirk as he slips the other strap into place, “alright, there we go! heels are nice and secure.”

he gets up from the ground, dusting his knee off before extending his hand to help you get up from his chair, “ready?” 

“as ready as i’ll ever be...” you reach for his hand only to pause, your nose scrunching slightly as you pull away, “i don’t know. let’s think this through. do we have to go to the party?”

“well, you are the host.” yoongi points out, “and i planned the whole thing! do you know how hard it was to arrange for a karaoke machine on new year’s eve?” he frowns playfully, “you can’t bail on me like this.” 

“i guess...” 

“listen- whenever you want to leave, just let me know and i’ll grab the entire plate of sliders, a crisp bottle of champagne, and then we’ll head back down here to eat, drink, and watch the fireworks from your office window.” yoongi tilts his head, his hand still out for you to take, “deal?” 

“...throw in the chocolate lava cakes as well and we have a deal.” 

                                   »»————-　♡　————-««

“wow! you really outdid yourself, yoongi.” you nod in approval as you look around, “look at this place!” 

you never even knew the rooftop had the ability to look like some trendy upscale bar that sells cocktails for $30 each 

“hey, if this secretary thing doesn’t work out, maybe i could become a party planner.” yoongi jokes, lifting his glass up with a smile

“you know, i really think you could.” you clink your glass against his before taking a sip of the bubbly champagne, “by the way, you don’t have to hang out with me all night. you’re allowed to go and mingle with your coworkers.” 

“i know.” yoongi hums before his nose scrunches slightly, “but every time i talk to them, they’re always gossiping about something and i think gossiping is unproductive.” 

“wha-” you gawk, your lashes fluttering, “you’re telling me that you’ve had access to juicy office gossip this whole time and not once have i ever heard any of it??”

“i mean...” 

“you have to tell me something. i’ll take anything!” 

you grin excitedly when yoongi gestures for you to come in closer 

“jungkook and tzuyu had sex on the photocopier by the supplies room.” he blurts out quickly, clearing his throat before taking a sip of his own champagne, “but you didn’t hear it from me!”

“they- what?!” you gasp in shock, jaw practically dropping to the floor, “they did?? during work??”

“no, it was after work!” yoongi shakes his head, “i think you had a meeting across town that night which is why we weren’t here... otherwise we... probably would’ve heard it but- it’s on the CCTV security cameras and everything. of course, since the photocopier is kind of out of frame, you can only see their lower halves-”

“well, then how do you know it was jungkook and tzuyu??” 

“their shoes! and jungkook’s socks. he’s the only one who wears bright purple rubber-duckie socks to work.” 

the two of you turn to look at jungkook across the rooftop and you blink before looking back over at yoongi with a pout 

“that’s my favourite photocopier.” you mutter, “i hope they didn’t get any... fluids inside of it-”

“gross! why would it be inside of the machine?!”

“i don’t know! people go crazy during sex sometimes!” you raise your hands in defense before clearing your throat quietly, “okay, but seriously, i feel like having vigorous sex on a piece of office equipment is definitely violating something so i might have to bring them in for a little chat-”

“ooh, can i be there when you scold them?” 

“absolutely-”  

“miss y/n?” you jump in surprise when someone taps your shoulder gently from behind

you glance over your shoulder to see joy before smiling politely, turning around fully to face her, “joy! what’s up?”

“i’d like to talk to you about something, if that’s alright - do you have a moment?” 

“oh! um, of course-” you pause, turning to hand yoongi your glass, “let’s head over there for some privacy. what’s on your mind?” 

“it’s just... you know, regarding past comments i may or may not have made about you-” she chuckles uneasily, “seeing as you still have to figure out who’s getting christmas bonuses this year, i thought that-” 

yoongi bites back a grin when you turn back to look at him with pleading eyes and he shrugs helplessly before raising his own glass at you and downing the rest of the champagne 

                                  »»————-　♡　————-««

yoongi’s never been a huge fan of parties mainly because he’d much rather enjoy a bottle of champagne and full-sized burgers in the comfort of his own home 

he really only started going to parties once you became CEO of the company and he wasn’t left with a choice because he was worried that you’d fire him if he didn’t attend any of these festive celebrations 

he likes to think that you’ve opened him up to new experiences, helping him become a better human being overall 

:-) 

“hey!” yoongi chokes on his tiny burger patty when someone gives his back a hearty slap, “i’ve been looking for you everywhere! i have a bone to pick with you, min yoongi.”

yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion when it’s hoseok that plops down on the bar stool next to him 

“what-” yoongi swallows his bite before giving his chest a couple of pats to help get the masticated chunks of meat down smoother, “what did i do??” 

hoseok opens his mouth to say something before pausing, eyes flickering to the side as he reconsiders what he’s about to say 

he’s a little tipsy thanks to the open bar so he didn’t really think this decision through but he’s here now so it’s a little late to back out 

you explicitly asked him not to meddle but he feels like if he doesn’t do anything, then you’ll never do anything and you’ll just go to the grave keeping your feelings for yoongi a secret 

does this count as meddling? 

he just has to find a way to steer the conversation towards the topic of you and yoongi and romance 

this might be meddling, now that he’s thinking about it

...

it’s fine! 

he’ll do it in such a subtle way that yoongi won’t even notice! 

“it’s not something that you’ve done. it’s something that you haven’t done.” hoseok clears his throat, narrowing his eyes at yoongi suspiciously, “do you like y/n? because she likes you.”

(not very subtle, but hoseok never likes to beat around the bush.) 

“woah-” yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise and he lets out a nervous chuckle before looking around, “ha, i- um- where did you get that idea from?” 

“you didn’t deny it.” hoseok grins in success, “so you do?” 

“i...” yoongi pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek before he lets out a huff and his shoulders droop in defeat, “yeah. yeah, i do. ...but what does that have to do with you?” 

“oh, it has everything to do with me!” hoseok chirps, clapping his hands together excitedly, “i’m here to give you advice!” 

“yeah, okay,” yoongi immediately scoffs and rolls his eyes as he turns back to pick up his drink, “no offense, but i don’t think i should be getting advice from the guy who was almost fired today-”

“oh, please, i wasn’t getting fired when you walked in.” hoseok raises a brow, “we were talking about you before you barged in so y/n obviously panicked and changed the subject to make it look like she wasn’t going all goo-goo-ga-ga over you-” 

“what? you were- y/n was talking about me?” yoongi perks up, his interest in the conversation suddenly reigniting, “really?” 

“she’s always talking about you,” hoseok points out, “don’t get me wrong - i love going to her office to talk about you instead of doing my work, but it’s exhausting! which is part of the reason as to why i’m willing to give you advice to get this show on the road.” 

“i don’t need advice, though.” 

“of course you need advice. if one of you finally made a move, i wouldn’t need to give you advice, but here i am.” hoseok gestures to himself before shrugging, “so... what’s wrong with you?”

yoongi scoffs in offense

that’s a little ruDE

“what’s wrong with me?”

“yeah. why haven’t you made a move yet if you like y/n back?” hoseok emphasizes as a reminder that this crush goes two ways and that yoongi can be blamed for the lack of action just as much as you 

“because... i can’t! it’s not that easy, man.” yoongi shakes his head, “i can’t just ask her out. she’s... like... she’s miss y/n.” 

“yes. and the sky is blue.” hoseok frowns, “i’m sorry, what’s the problem?” 

“she’s the boss!” yoongi snaps, glaring over at hoseok, “she’s our boss!”

“exactly! she’s the boss! if you’re going to date someone in the office, it might as well be the person signing off everyone’s paycheques at the end of each month-” 

“but you can’t- the rules!”

“what rules??”

“there are no rules! that’s why i’m so confused! i’m used to rules! that’s how the world works in my head! what the hell am i supposed to do now? go rogue?! i’ve never gone rogue before!”

“oh, god, who do you think you are? some secret agent? all you’re doing is asking someone out-”

“i can’t date y/n-” 

“give me a legitimate reason as to why you can’t date y/n.”

“i’ll be penalized!” 

“who’s going to penalize you?!”

“the boss of our boss!” 

“please!” hoseok groans loudly, throwing his head back in frustration, “you don’t think he’s goofed around with any of his secretaries?”

“okay, but this isn’t me goofing around with y/n, this is me... being serious with y/n!” yoongi presses his lips together, unsure of what to say next, “yeah. i wanna be serious with y/n.” 

“i promise you that no one cares about relationships as long as work is handed in on time and bags of money are being made.” hoseok hums, gesturing for the bartender to fix up another drink for him 

having this conversation about you with yoongi is just as exhausting as having this conversation about yoongi with you 

...

he doesn’t know if that sentence made any sense but all this alcohol is making the words jumble up together 

“well, okay, but-” yoongi chuckles nervously, turning and setting his glass down on the bar countertop, “then we’d have to make a file with HR declaring the status of our relationship, and then we’d have to talk about whether or not we want to keep things private or let the whole office know- oh, god, and what if it doesn’t work out? what if we break up? it’d be embarrassing after having declared our love for each other in front of everyone! and favouritism! don’t even get me started on favouritism! people are going to bag on y/n if they find out that i’m on the list of people getting a bonus! ...but, in my defense, even if we weren’t together i would probably still be on that list because i’m hardworking-” 

“yoongi-” hoseok interrupts, slapping both his hands down on his shoulders before letting out a sigh, “do you like y/n?” 

“yes.” yoongi answers without missing a beat, “i like y/n. a lot.” 

“okay. then that’s all that matters, right?” 

yoongi opens his mouth to respond but he pauses

huh 

that... is a fair point... 

it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about his relationship with you 

what is it about alcohol that makes some people so wise?

“do you know what kind of a person you’d be if you just repressed your feelings and pretended that they didn’t exist at all? a coward, that’s what you’d be. because y/n is a fantastic woman and you need to hurry up and make a damn move before she realises she’s wasting her time on you and moves on to someone else who isn’t afraid to show their true feelings for her.” hoseok shakes his head gently before pulling away from yoongi with a nonchalant shrug and a snort, “but, you know - i’m drunk as hell and i’ve had nothing to eat so all the things coming out of my mouth righ’now could be complete and utter bullshit!” he hiccups, giggling to himself, “who knows!”

“well… what do you suggest i do?”

“what else do you do at a new year’s eve party?” hoseok’s head flops to the side, the over consumption of nothing but champagne suddenly hitting him like a brick wall 

“…share new year’s resolutions?”

“wha- god, you guys are truly the perfect pair- no, dumbass, you kiiissss someone at midnight.” hoseok slurs, “you already know she’s into you. and now i know that you’re into her so she’s definitely not going to oppose giving you a big ol smooch!”

“well, it’s-” yoongi pulls his sleeve up to check his watch, anxiety bubbling in his stomach when he realizes there are exactly twelve minutes to midnight, “oh, god.” 

okay

that’s fine!

it’s fine, he can work with twelve minutes!

all he has to do is 1) find you, 2) start a casual conversation, 3) somehow transition the casual conversation into a not so casual conversation about his feelings for you, 4) transition from the not so casual conversation to asking if you’d like to be his new year’s kiss, 5)- 

“i can’t pull this off in twelve minutes. i don’t know how i’m going to do this!” yoongi swallows thickly, turning to look at hoseok (who’s starting to doze off), “how the hell am i going to do this??” 

hoseok picks himself up off the counter, turning to face yoongi before a wide smile spreads on his face and a little gasp of excitement slips past his lips, “hey! i’ve been looking for you everywhere. i have a bone to pick with you, min yoongi-” 

“okay, buddy-” yoongi quickly reaches out to keep hoseok from toppling over, “you’ve definitely had one too many-” 

                                  »»————-　♡　————-««

ding!

yoongi steps off the elevator with a huff, quickly checking the time on his watch for the millionth time tonight 

he spent two minutes running around the rooftop like a headless chicken in case you were still up there somewhere 

luckily jungkook told him that he saw you leave the rooftop and there’s really only one other place that you’d be 

he makes his way down the hallway towards the double doors of your office, smiling in success when he sees that one of the doors is slightly ajar 

bingo! 

maybe it’s because he’s now confident about his true feelings for you, but he feels like there’s a spring in his step right now! 

(it could also be because of the liquid courage, but that’s neither here nor there.)

he pushes the door open a little to stick his face in, giving himself a mental high five as he sees you leaning against your desk with a flute of champagne in your hand, staring out the window 

“hey!” yoongi clears his throat, knocking on the door gently, “there you are.”

“hm?” you turn to glance over your shoulder, “oh, yoongi! yeah, hey.” 

“i didn’t realize you’d disappeared... i would’ve brought the sliders with me if i knew you were in here.” he jokes, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click, “everything okay?”

“ah, well. maybe next time.” you smile stiffly, turning away from him to look back out, “yeah, everything’s fine. joy practically talked my ear off up there so i just felt like i needed to get away from the party for a little while.” 

“you know, the fireworks are starting soon...” yoongi points out as he makes his way over to you, “you’re probably going to get better pictures of them up there than down here in your office.” 

“yeah, i know… but it’s also going to be very loud up on the rooftop and i’d prefer to start the new year off with working eardrums.” your nose wrinkles as you let out a chuckle, “also, i…”

“what?”

“i… i don’t know, i just don’t really want to start the new year awkwardly standing in the middle while everyone else is getting new year’s kisses.” you reach up to scratch the back of your neck before chuckling awkwardly, “that… makes me sound like a very bitter single person and i swear it wasn’t supposed to come off that way-” 

“no, i totally get it.” yoongi shakes his head as he wipes his hands on the side of his pants, “as a matter of fact, i kind of wanted to talk to you about something-”

“hold on, hold on- before you say anything, i-” you interrupt him, turning to set your glass down, “i, um- i have something that i wanna say to you as well. can i go first?”

“oh! yes, okay….” yoongi cowers down a little, pressing his lips together tightly, “is... everything alright?”

“yeah!” you nod quickly before pausing, “i mean, sort of. kind of. i’m… not sure if it’s going to be a good idea or not, but i just want to let you know that if you… you know, if you feel uncomfortable or something after i tell you this, you’re free to pack up and leave, you know? i mean, i actually already have a letter of recommendation written for you so if you wanna go off and work for someone else, i’ve already put in a lot of good words for you-”

“woah, woah-” yoongi raises his hands before letting out a chuckle, “i- while i definitely appreciate the gesture, you know i’m… not planning on going anywhere, right?”

“yeah, well… things change!” you clear your throat, gaze averting as you reach up to scratch the back of your neck, “things... change. i… don’t mean to sound so elementary school about it, but i…” you trail off, the little voice in the back of your head reminding you that this is your last chance to back out and not tell yoongi about your feelings for him

you’ve chickened out more than a handful of times, so what’s going to different about this time around?

you look up at yoongi and he blinks twice before offering you a soft smile, “you…?”

oh 

how are you supposed to back out when he’s looking at you like that?

and maybe it’s just because he looks particularly handsome tonight in his suit or because you’re all riled up on cocktails, but...

“i like you.” you blurt out, trying your best not to cringe or make any faces, “like… in a… romantic? way?”

yoongi’s eyes widen and the smile fades from his face, though you don’t have much time to process whatever reaction that was before he’s speaking up 

“you like me.” yoongi repeats, swallowing thickly before nodding, “in a romantic way.”

“yeah.” you shrug, “and i have for a while, but i just never said or did anything about it because i thought it was inappropriate - you know, because i’m your boss and around the time i started liking you was when we held that seminar for workplace harassment and i didn’t want to make you feel like i was harassing you or creeping on you or anything - a-anyways, at first i thought i was attracted to you solely because you’re hot in that broody, college skater-boyfriend kind of way and i thought it’d go away on its own, but then the feelings never went away, and then i thought that maybe this was just a more serious schoolgirl-type crush that would take time to go away, but then a lot of time went by and it still didn’t go away, so… here we are now, at the end of the year, and i… still have a huge, huge crush on you-”

“-i like you too.” 

“okay, cool, but i’m not done talking about-” you pause, your eyes flickering upwards, “wait, what?” 

“i like you, y/n.” yoongi breathes out with a smile, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “actually, i’ve known for a long time that you liked me and at first i was just flattered and admittedly i was a little cocky about it but then i... actually started to like you one day and- well, i didn’t want to say anything because- woah-!”

yoongi yelps when suddenly a paperweight is hurled in his direction and nearly whacks him in the face, “what the f-”

“are you kidding me, yoongi?!” you snap, slapping your hands down as you glare at him across your desk, “are you kidding me?!” 

“okay, i-i-” yoongi stammers, “i wasn’t expecting this reaction so i’m not entirely sure how i’m supposed to-” 

“you knew that i liked you this entire time-” you groan, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “and you knew that you liked me this entire time... and you didn’t say or do anything about it?!”

“well, why didn’t you do anything about it first?” yoongi exasperates, “you- you’re just as much at fault here as i am!”

“because i-” you laugh lightly in disbelief, “because i thought that if i told you that i liked you, that you would feel pressured into saying that you liked me back because i’m your boss! how would i know if your feelings were genuine or if you were just playing along? of course i couldn’t tell you!” 

yoongi chews on the inside of his cheek anxiously as you let out a huff before stepping away from your desk and heading over to stand by the window again 

“i...” he trails off, bending down to pick up the paperweight before setting it down on your desk gently, “i’m sorry that you... struggled with that... but... i think the important thing is that i do like you, y/n. i genuinely like you, and i was an idiot for not saying anything earlier... i let my doubts get in the way and...” he sighs, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “i’m not good at- i’m not good at dealing with this kind of stuff and usually i just brush it aside and hope the problem goes away but i see you almost every single day so i couldn’t just brush it aside-” 

“yeah, well-” 

both of you freeze up when you suddenly hear the countdown chanting echo from up on the rooftop and yoongi feels his heart plummet to his stomach when he realizes he didn’t even ask if you wanted to be his new year’s kiss 

shit 

shit!

“i’m just-” yoongi shakes his head furiously, “i get nervous when there are no rules and there certainly isn’t a handbook for what to do when you’re attracted to your boss-”

10!

you let out a scoff as you turn to face him, “-and you think there’s a handbook for what to do when you’re attracted to your secretary?!-” 

9!

“i was a total coward for not saying anything sooner and i wish i did! i wish i kissed you at the halloween party!”

8!

“you- you wanted to kiss me at the halloween party?” 

7!

“of course i did, dumbass!” the name slips out of yoongi’s mouth before he even realizes it and he smiles sheepishly when you give him a warning look, “...miss dumbass.”

6!

“anyways,” yoongi coughs, “i-if you’re still interested, i’d really like to kiss you tonight if that’s okay-” 

5!

“wait, did hoseok put you up to this?” you narrow your eyes in suspicion before pointing to yourself, “because he told me to ask you to kiss me tonight-”

“yeah, he put me up to this because we both know that you certainly weren’t going to make the first move-”

4!

“how dare you?” you scoff, crossing your arms stubbornly, “i could make the first move if i really wanted to-” 

3!

“what?! that’s bullsh- oh my god, can we agree now to kiss first and then argue about this later?!” yoongi snaps, eyes full of panic at the thought of not making it on time, “please??” 

2!

“fine, but-” 

1- HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

you don’t get a chance to say anything else before yoongi swoops in swiftly to lean in and kiss you, warm hands quickly reaching up to cup either sides of your face 

the sound of people cheering and fireworks going off in the sky is nothing compared to the erratic thumping of your heart and the high-pitched ringing in your ears 

oh, wow

your lashes flutter as you feel yourself relax, your fists uncurling against yoongi so that your hands rest on his chest

you can feel his rapid heartbeat through his shirt and that’s all the confirmation you need to know that yoongi really, truly likes you back 

yoongi’s hands leave your face so that he can reach down to grasp your hips and pull you towards him, only for his arms to snake around your waist a second later 

your hands slide up his chest before your arms wrap loosely around his neck, feeling as though nothing else matters except what’s happening right now 

you’ve dreamt about this moment for so long but it’s so much better than you could’ve possibly imagined it to be 

and you’re not sure if it’s the copious amount of champagne that you consumed tonight but you just feel so warm inside 

yoongi pulls away (far too soon for your liking), his eyes lidded and hazy as he smiles fondly down at you, “happy new year, boss.”

you can’t fight back the wide grin on your face when he leans down to nudge his nose against yours, both of your hearts undoubtedly beating in time   

“happy new year, secretary min.”

❄️christmas with cee 2020 masterlist 🎄

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here?

or perhaps you want something shorter to read?

[synonymroll648]

Ok ok ok hear me out. Sokeefitz Body Swap AU.

(TW for referenced child neglect, and outright child abuse. Not everyone is luck enough to live in the Ruewen household. If this triggers you please feel free to delete this.)

Keefe swaps into Fitz's body, and is immediately awoken by a knocking on the door. It's not the pounding that he's used to, but instead a light little tapping on the door. It's Biana, and she outright asks him if he's feeling okay, because he hasn't woken up this late in years, and she wanted to make sure that he wasn't dead. Keefe tells her that he's fine and she tells him that there's food on the counter downstairs and that she's going over to Linh's.

Keefe nods and waits until she's gone before tip-toeing downstairs, as to not disturb Alden or Della. To his shock, he doesn't have to worry, because neither of them are anywhere to be seen. As it turns out, they're busy, and as he'll find out soon, they're always busy. Everglen deathly quiet, it's almost like no one's here at all, even though he knows that's not true. The lights in both Della and Alden's offices are on, yet he sees them only once in the next three days that he's been there. So, Keefe worries about him self, for the first time in a while. He works out, he learns to cook, he goes out and draws, he has time to himself and peaceful time to himself, for the first time in a while. He doesn't need anyone to escape, he simply has himself.

Fitz swaps to Sophie's body, and is shocked at how tight-knit the Ruewen's bond is. The casual touches and expression of affection that happen at all times. He's surprised when he wakes up to Edaline cooking breakfast, and Grady telling him little jokes, and how close they are to one another as well. Edaline wrapping her arms around Grady and pecking him on the cheek, Grady kissing her on the forehead before he goes out to feed Verdi, all the little things.

He's also surprised by how busy Sophie is, and how much she overworks herself. Her desk has piles of paper work, she has check lists upon check lists upon checklists to complete, only in one day, and he instead uses that time to get to spend time helping all of those around him, because he's not used to anyone helping him, and it's a nice change. Also because Sophie needs to manage her self-care and care for other people better, girl is getting around two hours of sleep.

And Sophie swaps to Keefe's body, and she is horrified at how much Keefe's been hiding. She wakes up to the pounding of the door and the screaming of Cassius, terrified, she immediately hails him (or, herself really) to try and figure out what's going on. After being redirected to Keefe in Fitz's body, she asks him what to do. Keefe, very apologetic, can only offer what he did, go stay with other people.

Sophie is hesitant at first, but after a screaming match with Cassius decided that that is in fact a Very Good idea, and so, she stays around. She goes to Havenfield and Everglen of course (and nearly cries when Edaline hugs her for the first time in a week,) and even explores some of the Lost Cities with all of her free time. It's a constant revolving door of Sophie. Solreef, Everglen, Havenfield, Rimeshire, Slups and Burps, heck Stina even tolerated her at Sterling Gables for a while. Sophie learns how to rely on others. She learns that kindness isn't only in obvious acts, but also in the subtle ones. Also she's learned how to make way too many prank elixirs.

Anyway yes Sokeefitz Body Swap AU.

[id: an ask that reads ‘Realized I probably shouldn’t have sent you that absolute monster of an ask but you asked for ramblings about sokeefitz and you got ramblings about sokeefitz so honestly I’m blaming this on you. /lh /j’. end id.]

it was 3:45am when i saw this and 3:47am when i finished reading it and AESRFGDSBFDYHJUTKYLIUFGRTDHFRGY4 TOBI. this is such a treat to find after finally drinking water after an hour of procrastinating on it!!!! life really said 'diedrate or hydrate and get the biggest sokeefitz ramble you've seen in an ask so far :)' and wow am i glad that i hydrated!! 

there is. so much. fic potential here. there are so many ways this could go!! so many questions!!

does anyone else around them know about their predicament? are there any small appearance changes to their respective bodies (that sounds weird lol) that indicate who is who? or does one have to rely solely on their words and body language to figure it out? what character/relationship arcs (platonic and romantic) would we have?? do we get to see them all regularly check in with each other on issues that they don't share with others (like sophie hailing keefe in the mornings to ask how things are going and him giving actually honest answers, etc.) and grow closer through it? also this is probably a question people ignore and say 'just go w/ it ok??' but like. how? did they end up in a body swap? in the first place? are there rules they know about, or are they just thrown into it and told 'good luck bro' by the universe? etc.

[chudleycanonficfest]

The Soul Truth

Day 2, Story #1 is by @honouraryweasley12

Title: The Soul Truth

Author: honouraryweasley12

Pairing: Ron x Hermione

Prompt: Soulmates

Rating: K+

TW: none

The ornate doors slid open and Hermione stepped out of the lift, her shoes clacking on the stone floor as she walked forward, head held high but movements stiff. She quickly found that it was best to give off a strong, confident air as she met with various ministries in her new capacity. 

She hadn't been in this part of the Ministry often and it was quite unfamiliar to her. All the more reason to keep her guard up.

"Greetings, Minister Granger-Weasley. Congratulations on your victory."

A wizened old man in heavy, dark robes welcomed her, limping forward and holding out a shaky gnarled hand. She took it and met his eyes, which were still sharp—despite his advanced age. A playful twinkle shone out from them, reminding her immediately of Dumbledore.

"Thank you."

He gave her a smile. "Welcome to Archive floor of the Department of Mysteries."

She looked around the cavernous space, taking everything in. She could practically feel the hum of ancient magic reverberating around the walls.

"And you are?"

"I am the Archivist."

"Oh, I meant your name."

He chuckled. "We don't use our given names in this department, just our titles. There is great power in names, as you no doubt know, and we don't want that to interfere with the work we are doing here."

"What should I call you?"

He thought for a moment, before looking up at her. "For today, you can call me… Dave."

She immediately relaxed and shook her head, her face incredulous. "Why Dave?"

"Ah, you see, the power of names. By picking something so simple and informal, your posture and tone changed completely. Had I picked something more formal, you would have responded in kind."

She smiled, immediately taking a liking to the mysterious old man. "Lead the way, Dave. I was told I would be receiving the grand tour."

The two walked slowly through the vast archives, the various rooms and chambers full of different experiments, mystical objects, and parchments.

"Where is everyone?" Hermione stopped to ask, noticing that they hadn't seen a single person, Unspeakable or otherwise, as she was shown around.

"Some of our greatest breakthroughs happen in the early morning or late evening. We encourage our members to work when it best suits them." He squinted at a battered gold watch that seemed to weigh heavily on his wrist. "Yes, 3:00 PM is usually the quietest time of the day down here."

"I see. I do some of my best work at odd times as well."

He nodded sagely. "The quiet mind is often the clearest."

They continued touring through, until they came to a small door tucked behind several suits of armour. It was so old and dark that Hermione wouldn't have even noticed it, had Dave not mentioned it.

"Most Ministers of Magic I've worked with seem to be worried about other objects down here that might help them, but I have something interesting which I think you'll appreciate."

He fished out a small key from within the folds in his robes and turned it in the lock. The heavy door creaked open to reveal a closet-sized space with a single pedestal. On top of it sat a thin, aged book.

"It's my understanding that you are an avid reader, Minister."

"Yes, how did you know?"

"It's my job to know," he added gravely, watching her eyes narrow. He waved his hand dismissively, grinning again. "No, no, I'm only joking. I happened to share a lift with Auror Weasley one Monday morning, and while I didn't mean to eavesdrop, he was complaining quite loudly to Auror Potter that he missed you, because you had your nose stuck in a book all weekend. I mean no offense, of course."

She blushed and rolled her eyes affectionately. "That sounds like Ron alright."

"That's why I thought this might be of interest to you," he continued, gesturing to the pedestal.

She couldn't help but be intrigued as she stared down at the frail old book, her voice dipping down to a whisper of reverence. "What is it?"

"It's called The Book of Souls—though it's just a single parchment. Yet, it's the most dangerous object down here."

Hermione stared at it, her face a mask of awe. "How so?"

"Legend has it that the parchment was created by a powerful young witch, who was being courted by a prince. She wasn't sure if he was her soulmate, for she sensed a darkness in him, so she invoked some very ancient magic to help reveal the truth."

"It worked?"

"Indeed, it did. The parchment was charmed to reveal a small note, riddle, and sometimes even a name to the reader, one that would help them understand who their soulmate was. Unfortunately for that witch, her soulmate was most decidedly not the prince. She rejected his proposal, and as was the case back then, disappeared under mysterious circumstances soon after."

"That's terrible. Then what happened?"

"As the story goes, rumour spread about the witch's parchment, and as with most powerful objects, the lure of it drew out many seekers. Though the object was made with good intentions, it soon led to a trail of darkness and bloodshed. Broken families, obsessions, blackmail, jealousy, and even death. Knowing that kind of unshakeable truth proved to be a valuable commodity, or a lifetime of heartbreak for those unable to meet their soulmate."

Hermione nodded. It sounded very much like the Elder Wand, but more subtle and insidious. One thing was puzzling her though. "I've never heard of this before, and I've studied many books about souls, both ancient and dark."

"Once the Ministry recovered it, they deemed it was too dangerous for this information to be out there, so they've removed all known references to it. Those who had known of it died off, and it was forgotten from memory."

"When was this?"

"Centuries ago. However, as Minister, you are privileged to learn certain pieces of information that the general population is not privy to."

"Fascinating," Hermione replied. She watched as he slowly reached a hand toward the weathered book. "Wait! What are you doing?"

"Every so often I check to make sure it's still under the cover, and since we're already in here, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Does… does that mean you've looked at it?"

"Oh no, never. I always look away, as should you."

He lifted the corner for a second, and try as she might, Hermione couldn't help but open her eyes to see a word of blazing red ink, before he shut the cover again. Hermione felt the blood drain from her face, unable to comprehend the word she saw so very briefly.

"No, it couldn't be."

"What was that Minister? Did you say something?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Everything seems to be in order here. Shall we continue?"

Hermione nodded mutely, the word still burned in her thoughts.

~*~

She cancelled the rest of her meetings and went straight home after finishing with Dave, or whatever his real name was, needing time to collect her thoughts. How could she tell Ron, the love of her life, what she had seen?

She sat at their dining table, absentmindedly stirring a soothing cup of tea when he walked in.

"Hermione, I'm home."

He came bounding into the kitchen, a piece of parchment in each hand and a wide smile on his face. "Look, the kids wrote. Hugo promises he's already started studying for O.W.L.s, and Rosie is nervous, but excited, to captain her first match against Ravenclaw next week."

"That's great," she replied, her voice a dull monotone.

"They even said their classmates think it's cool that you were elected as the youngest Minister of Magic in history."

"Hmm."

Ron looked at her and frowned. "What's wrong? Tough day?"

Hermione pulled out the chair next to her and patted it. "Come sit down."

Ron scrutinized her again. "The last time you did that, it was to tell me you were pregnant with Hugo. Are you pregnant?"

She sighed. "No, please just come here, I need to tell you something, and I don't think you're going to like it."

He sat down, unsure of what was coming. She quickly told him about the Archivist, the tour, and the Book of Souls, before swearing him to secrecy.

"You saw something when he lifted the cover, didn't you?"

She nodded sadly. "I saw a word."

"What did it say?"

"I-I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not true. Whatever it says, it's not true."

"C'mon Hermione, please tell me."

"It said… Krum."

Ron let out a laugh. "Oh, is that all?"

"What do you mean? Viktor Krum is my soulmate, and that's all you have to say!?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"That you're upset, that you care that I was destined to be with Viktor."

"Destined? We have two beautiful kids, an amazing family, and great careers. I don't care what some ruddy old book says, the charms are probably wonky anyway." He pointed to his chest. "I know that I love you with all of my heart, and you feel the same."

She slid into his lap and threw her arms around his neck. "I do, you know I do… but…but…"

"What?"

She suddenly burst into tears, burying her head in his neck as she sobbed. "I-I always had this idea in my head that we were real soulmates, if such a thing existed. We met when we were so young, and I've only truly ever loved you. I know it's silly, but I hate that it's not true. I didn't even like Viktor that much."

Ron ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly. "Maybe it was a mistake or something. You said yourself you only saw one word."

Her breathing started calming down. "I-I suppose that's true."

"We know what happens when a charm or prophecy is misinterpreted."

She sniffled. "It would be nice to know."

Ron gave her a squeeze. "Maybe we should sneak in there tomorrow and take a look."

"We can't just sneak in there! I'm the Minister of Magic! Besides, there was a key to get into the room. I don't know how we're going to get it from the Archivist."

"You're the Minister of Magic. I'm sure you could come up with some reason to be there."

She gave him a dirty look. "I'm not abusing my position like that."

"I don't mind abusing my position, as you put it. Maybe I can say I'm researching something for a case."

"No, Ron. What if you get in trouble?"

"Who am I going to get in trouble with? Harry? You?"

"That's not the point. We swore we'd never take advantage of our roles for our own gain."

He sighed. "Fine, you're right. Sneaking in it is, then. It'll be like the good old days! A secret mission, breaking into places we have no business being in. An ill-formed plan. It'll be fun."

She smacked him on the arm. "Those days were terrible."

"Aren't you curious though, to find out the truth?"

"Of course I want to know the truth! I don't want to go through the rest of my life thinking Viktor was my soulmate, when it's clearly you."

"As sweet as that is, we clearly only have one choice."

Hermione shook her head. "Fine."

"Good, things like this are much easier when you're agreeable to them," he smirked, nudging her playfully. "You said 3:00 PM was when it was empty, right? Meet me in my office tomorrow at 2:55 PM, and we'll head down there. I'll just tell Harry we're going to a broom closet or something."

"Ron!" Hermione screeched. "You'll do no such thing."

"It's perfectly plausible. It's not like we haven't done that before."

She blushed, unable to count the number of times they'd had fun at the Ministry. "Alright, fine. 2:55PM at your office."

"Good. Now, I'm starving. I'll whip up one of your favourites. I bet I'm a better cook than ol' Vicky. What do Bulgarians even eat?"

"Not funny, Ron."

~*~

The next afternoon, Hermione was found pacing in front of Ron and Harry's office, much to the fear of the recruits who were stationed outside the door. It wasn't often the Minister of Magic would show up unannounced, muttering under their breath.

The door swung open and Ron sauntered out, his lips upturned in a smug smile. Harry's face had gone a shade of green from what he'd just heard from his best mate.

"Hi, er, Hermione," Harry greeted her awkwardly. "You two… um… have fun."

Mortified, Hermione could only return a quick wave before grabbing Ron's arm, hauling him toward the lifts before she was forced into any further interactions with Harry.

"I honestly can't believe you told him we were going to go shag."

"I literally told you I was going to say that."

"I didn't think you actually meant it." She let out an exasperated snort and pinched the bridge of her nose as they entered the lift. "What's the plan?"

"Plan?"

"You are the Head Strategist of the Auror department. Surely you must have thought of something!"

Ron shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "We'll make it up as we go. Seems to work best for us."

"I don't like this one bit."

The ding of the bell signalled they had arrived.

Ron clasped her hand, their fingers entwining. "Let's do this."

The doors opened and they were greeted with utter silence. It was as if the entire floor was abandoned, which it likely was.

They crept forward, trying to make as little noise as possible before finally reaching the same spot she had been the previous day.

Hermione turned the handle of the door, and to her surprise, it was unlocked.

"Hey, look at that!" Ron exclaimed loudly.

"Ron," she hissed. "Keep on the lookout."

He nodded and stood in front of the armour blocking the door, ensuring that Hermione couldn't be seen, in case they were interrupted.

Hermione took a deep breath, her heart pounding. Whatever it said under the cover wouldn't change anything between herself and Ron, but she needed to know for sure.

Her fingers paused for a second, lightly gripping the frail corner, her body tense. She delicately opened the book, the bright red ink bursting into view, almost glowing in the small, dark chamber.

Her greedy eyes flew over the words that were revealed.

"I knew it," she whispered.

Ron suddenly poked his head in. "Everything alright?"

"Perfect. Everything's perfect and wonderful!" Her giddiness couldn't be contained as she closed the ancient text.

"I guess this means you aren't going to chuck me?"

"Never."

"What's it say?"

Her pink cheeks were starting to hurt from her wide grin. "Your soulmate will first love, then hate, a Mr. Viktor Krum."

"That confirms it. See, nothing to worry about."

"Oh Ron, I'm so relieved. I knew it couldn't be true. This whole thing is ridiculous, but I'm still glad to know it's always been you."

Ron nodded. "Me too."

"We should leave before we get caught."

"Not so fast, it's my turn now."

"What?" Hermione asked sharply. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Might as well take a look while I'm here."

Hermione stepped back, biting at her bottom lip—a sure sign of anxiety. "But… but… what if—"

Ron cupped her cheeks in his large hands and gently kissed her. "It doesn't matter what it says, I love you and only you. Trust me."

She nodded, before resuming his place as the lookout.

After a moment, she heard him chuckle and close the door behind him.

Hermione whispered urgently. "What did it say?"

"It said my soulmate will be a nightmare."

Hermione let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "Thank goodness. I don't think I would've been able to handle it if it wasn't me."

"It's always been you. I thought you'd have learned by now."

"I know, I never should have doubted it."

"Can you imagine if we'd learned this information when we were younger? We might have been able to get together much sooner," Ron remarked.

"Or we'd have made an even bigger mess of things."

"True. It doesn't matter in the end though, does it? We figured it out and we've done pretty damn well for ourselves."

"We have, Ron. I love you."

"Love you, too. We'd better get out of here before someone sees us."

The two quickly retreated to the lift, having successfully completed their mission. A minute after the doors had shut on the snogging couple, an old man slowly made his way toward the chamber and pulled a small key out of his robes, locking the heavy door.

As it's appointed guardian, he had vowed to never look in the book, and he had kept that oath. That didn't mean he couldn't use it's power in other ways. Past Ministers, those inquisitive few who had the intelligence to understand the book's worth, often revealed something in that moment when he checked the parchment, for good or ill. Usually it mattered little to him, but not in this case.

He paused for a moment, before extracting a small glass sphere from the same pocket as the key. A sphere he'd kept with him for many years, since he was a young man working with prophecies in the Department of Mysteries. Knowing Minister Granger-Weasley was coming to take a tour was the perfect opportunity to solve a mystery he'd been researching for the better part of seven decades.

He held it up to the light, the familiar swirls of mist dancing in the globe. He had long since memorized the prophecy, which had been made by a seer almost a hundred years earlier. His colleagues at the time had dismissed it, because like many visions, it was almost impossible to determine what the seer was referring to.

He had kept this one, for it always gave him hope. He never thought he'd actually solve it. Yet here he was, still alive and able to record this last surviving prophecy in the annals of history.

He turned it over in his hands, the glass still unblemished.

"Magic," he whispered, "such a wonderful tool."

He stared at it again, reciting for the last time the fates encompassed within.

"Two soulmates, brown and orange, will form a triangle with black to defeat evil. Through many trials the two will forge a love so strong it will be unbreakable, and their strength will reshape the world."

He let out a final chuckle, his long-held desire now confirmed by the soulmates themselves. He lifted the glass to his lips, his breath fogging up the shiny surface.

"Prophecy fulfilled."

The sphere melted away into nothing, the outcome recorded somewhere else in the archives. He shuffled away back to his office, his eyes sparkling, and his heart lifted with hope.

[panickingpansexuality]

Telling Jumin about some of the abuse getaway information

TW: Abuse

You and Jumin were having dinner with your mom at her house. The night had been going great and your mom seemed to like him. Jumin excused himself to the restroom when your mom took you to the living room.

Your mom had sat you down on the couch and with a worried expression started to ask you questions.

"You have a separate account right?"

"Yes Mama."

"And you still have that nice jewelry I gave you?"

You nodded.

"Everything is ok right?"

"Yes Mother." You press. "Really he isn't like that."

"That's what I thought too." She said grabbing your hand.

"You can sell your ring too." She said. "It has to be the first thing to go MC."

"Mama." You sigh out. "Its ok really. He's never going to hurt me."

Your mother looks at you and nods, she Pat's your hands and looks behind you. Jumin is standing at the doorway and you get up to give him a peck on his cheek. He wraps his arm around your waist and gives it a light squeeze.

When you two leave the car ride is quiet your hand is gripping his to try and let him know everything is alright.

"I love you." You tell him, he's looking out the window and gives you a tight smile.

"How much did you hear?" You ask. "With my mom?"

"When she told you to sell your ring." He says in a tight voice. His eyes are full of tears.

"I'm not leaving you." You tell him softly your own eyes filling with tears. "I swear I'm not."

"Then what was that about?"

"Oh Jumin.." you sigh out. Tears fell from his eyes and you reached up to wipe them.

"There's something passed down." You begin. "From woman to woman, about how to leave a man in case he ever becomes abusive."

"What?!" He says. "Does your mother think that I'm abusing you?!"

"No! No!" You say quickly. "She worries too much, she was abused and of course I've had a share of relationships that didn't go smoothly...."

His hand moves from ours and wraps itself around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"So we have rules in place, rules that help us survive. Some of them are a but outdated but they help us.."

"I see.." he says. "So you cant ever let your guard down.."

"I do around you." You say kissing his cheek. "I have sooo many rules broken because I trust you."

You two arrive at the house and he goes straight to Elizabeth. You can tell he's not sure how to feel about this, you go and sit by him.

"I'm gonna tell you them." You say. "Every last one I was taught so you know I trust you."

Jumin looks at you surprised and nods.

So you start

"Never let him know where your personal documents are, Birth certificate, ID, Social Security number.."

"But I know where all of that is.."

"I know." You tell him with a soft smile.

"Have a separate bank account."

"I have one." You explain "Because I am not going to use your money to pay bills or get myself things."

"Jewlry can be pawned off even for a little. Some places will even give you money for donations."

"Gain his trust so that he suspects nothing, keep your head low until the end. Fight back back only when you know it wont cost your life."

"Let work know so that they cant come to your work."

"Once you leave constantly stay with someone. Sometimes leaving with your purse is all you can do. Leaving for work and then not coming home is one way to get out."

"Have a spare phone under. Flip phone is the cheapest, new SIM card and make sure your partner doesnt know about it."

"Do you..have one?" He asked.

"No." You promise. "Elizabeth would've found it by now even if I did."

It's a joke and you both know it but it feels wrong to try and joke right now. Still, Jumin gives you a faux smile. You took his hand and kissed it. You got up and moved with him to the couch.

"Always know where to go." You say. "A friends house, a shelter, churches, even if you save up for a shittt apartment."

"What about children?" He asks "what if you have children.."

You squeeze his hand tightly and release a breath of air to stop you from crying.

"Call schools to let them know what's happening and get them into a different school once you're away from them."

"Once you're away." You continue. "You change all passwords you have, throw out the phone your abuser is in and use the other phone and redirect your mail."

"Is that all?" He asks.

"All I can remember.." you say.

He's silent, he looks over at you and says nothing. He squeezes your hand so tight it hurts.

"Jumin." You say. "I know you would never hurt me. I trust you more than anyone I've ever dated and I am so happy to be with you. I am so happy that I get to call you my husband.

I know I can trust you with this information and know that I will never have to use it with you."

He pulls you into his chest and hugs you as tight as he can. He knows all of this he knows you trust him and that your mom worries too much. He just hates how you carry this information. How long have you had it?

"I know." He whispers out. "I know love. I know. I love you so much."

He holds you like your his lifeline. He knows that if you two have a daughter that she'll be passed this information and he can do nothing to protect her...but if they had a son...he would make sure that he would never be the reason that their lover had to use that information.

(A/N: This is not a stab at men and abuse that happens towards them this a nod to women who are being abused. This same information can be used for men in abusive situations.)

[its-me-im-coraline]

Regrets // Victoria De Angelis

words // 1557

warnings // angst, mentions of abusive relationships (not details)

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x GN!Reader, Ethan Torchio x Platonic!Reader

author's note // taglist here. please only let me know if you want to be tagged on that google form so i know what to tag you on, thank you

I KNOW I MADE HER LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE BUT MY ANGSTY ASS NEEDED SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO BE ABLE TO WRITE THIS FIC SOOO... I LOVE VICTORIA, I DON'T THINK SHE'S AN ASSHOLE AND THE WHOLE I BULLY YOU MEANS I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU TROPE IS STUPID IN EVERY OTHER OCCASION BUT IN FANFICTION ITS FINE

also i changed the original tittle because i didnt like it that much

request // yes

summary // Reader is Ethan's best friend and because of that they are around the band a lot. Maybe a hint of jealously, a toxic partner and a visit at the hospital will be enough to change their relationship with Victoria from hate to love. Or maybe the love was there all along.

The first time the two met each other was right after the band finally united. Y/N’s had been Ethan’s best friend for years now, making the fateful meeting inevitable - as well as the obscure amount of time they would have to spend around each other. If anything, the drummer was attached to the hip with his best friend, tagging them along to every show, many rehearsals (there was even a suggestion to come with him on Måneskin’s European tour - it would be a nightmare if they did).

Victoria did not take long to adopt a defensive mode against them, one that not even she could decipher. Maybe it was the way they were just always there, like leech attached to her bandmate, or maybe it was that annoying way they dressed, all out there and attracting her attention, or maybe it was that stupid girlfriend of theirs that just had to make it known they were a couple. She really did get on Victoria’s nerves a awful lot. She was nice, not going to lie, just maybe a little too nice - ickly nice, she’d say. She wasn’t sure why but that girl simply made Victoria’s gut drop every time.

For years, as that relationship lasted, Victoria and Y/N would butt heads, always at each other’s throat with something to say and complain about. What are they doing here again, the bassist would ask over and over again. Just here to piss you off, Y/N would say, walking to Ethan. Other times it’d be the opposite. It just always was… a mess.

Everyone could see the situation the two found themselves into but no one could do anything. No, not until they opened their own damn eyes.

The dislike between the two only grew stronger and stronger as time passed by, with their insults getting worse. Truth be told, no one expected it to get that bad, and now they just hoped to stop.

For a while, Y/N was facing some drama in the relationship, some that could end up pretty bad. Not few were the nights Ethan would get a phone call in the middle of rehearsal, sobbing heard even beyond his phone. Please, please come get me Ethan. I don’t think …. The rest was inaudible for Victoria, not that I care, she would remind herself, moving on with her work.

On occasion she’d joke about it to Y/N. What? Trouble in paradise, cucciolo? Oh well. Deep down she knew she should not say that but she could not control herself. Y/N was pretty put together some of those times, others they’d just snap with no regard to anything. Just shut your fucking mouth, they said once adding a few profanities to explain their anger.

After the fourth time it happened the blonde had gotten genuinely angry. “Ok, enough. Close your phone, Ethan,” she spat out, almost snatching it off his hand. “They can wait.”

“But-”

“No! They have cut short three out of our four rehearsals this week! This is the fifth rehearsal, Ethan, their fourth time! They’re a big kid now, they should not need you all the time.”

In time she would regret those words but in that moment they seemed appropriate. She had grown exasperated at their constant interruptions. Well, most of the time they were not really disturbing - they’d call on a break or just cuddle with Ethan on a break, at a time they had for the solemn reason of relaxing - but Victoria would not admit that. Not to herself and not to anyone.

“Ok.” Ethan whispered the words, silencing his phone with a heavy heart. He had a bad feeling, that he knew for sure, but he did not feel like fighting with the blond bassist.

The hours they worked passed by quickly, feeling more like quick moving water, their session was simply flowing. It was now quiet, maybe around three in the morning. 2.58 AM read the clock on the table. Ethan was sure his best friend was sleeping by now. He’d shoot them a text and then go to sleep as well - lord knows he needed it. Well, not everything always goes as planned.

Victoria was by him when it happened.

His phone started to ring while he was about to walk to his room. Y/N. If he was not concerned earlier that night there was no way he was not now. It was not common for them to call at hours like this, if anything they were usually asleep by eleven, maybe even twelve.

“Pronto. Che? A- cazzo, sì, sì. Sto venendo ora.” showing off my italian lol

“Ethan? What happened?” She was not sure of her feelings in that instant. Why was she even asking him? She did not care about them, right? But no, no, it was not worry. It was fear of guilt. And worry, but that she was not aware of.

“Y/N is at the hospital,” he breathed out, “they- uhm… Their ex hurt them - thank god their neighbor was there and heard what happened. Oh my- if-if-if he was not there Y/N-”

Victoria could not stand seeing her friend like that. She believes that she’s never once seen Ethan this emotional - not negatively emotional, that is. He always keeps his composure so well but this time it just was not possible. The blonde just stood there now, holding Ethan in her arms, whispering comforting things to him, hoping that he’d calm down a bit.

“I-I should’ve answered the phone Vic… It- I could have prevented this. Oh god, it’s my-”

“Ethan no! If it’s anyone’s fault here, it’s mine. I should not have snapped like I did.”

“I- yeah. Yeah, you know what, yeah, it is your fault.” He was sad, he was anxious, he was angry… A whirlwind of emotions really, and Victoria’s statement made him target it to her. “It is your fault Vic, with that-that stupid, stupid, conflict you two have. I’m leaving.”

“Where are yo-”

“To the hospital! Where the fuck else?” Ethan’s voice was rising by the second, as his blood started boiling in his veins. He knew he could not drive there, but he was not about to say it.

“I’ll drive you-”

“No. I can do it on my own.”

“Please. It’s the least I can do.” Victoria’s eyes were cast to the floor, unsure of what else to do. She knew that things were taken too far this time, the least she could do was drive her friend to the hospital.

The drive there was quiet. Neither knew what to say. Victoria was feeling guilty, afraid, and even worried about Y/N’s well-being, regardless of whether she could she tried to focus on the road. More injured people would not be helpful. Ethan on the other hand was fuming. He was angry out of his head; at his blonde friend, at himself and most of all that bitch, Y/N’s ex. She was the one to cause all of this, all of it, even problems he was not aware she was the cause of.

As they arrived there there was even more trouble on their way. He’s not family, he’s not a spouse, neither is Victoria. It was always like that. They would not let them pass if they were not either of those things but, god bless that man, the nurse that called him showed up, recognizing the voice and assuring the nurse, on the front, that he was indeed the only person on their emergency contacts, they had to pass. With a lot of complaining they were finally let to pass.

When they walked in the room Y/N was laying on the bed asleep and at first both their minds went to the worst case scenario. “I have given them some painkillers for now. They’ll be ok but some injuries cause severe pain -” he was walking outside along with Ethan.

Victoria was now left alone in the room with Y/N, although it felt as if she was looking at a photo of them rather than the real life Y/N. “I’m sorry,” was all she could say, the only thing that felt right to do at that moment. “It’s my fault -oh my it is! Ethan, he-he wanted to respond to the call by I-I got so angry!” She cried out, now grasping Y/N’s hand. “I can only hope he can forgive me. Hell, I hope you forgive me. It’s my fault you’re-”

“It’s not, Victoria.”

“You are awake?”

“It’s not your fault. I was already here when I called the first time. Neither of you could have changed a thing.” They were so calm - maybe it was the painkillers, she thought. “Thank you. For the apology I mean.”

“Yeah. I, uh, I’m sorry for everything Y/N. I-”

“Hey, stop! It’s ok. What’s by is by,” they laughed, never missing the opportunity to joke. (you know, bi - by… terrible pun)

“I, uh,” she paused, thinking of what to say next. She remembered a small chocolate bar in her pocket. She was about to eat it when the call happened. “I don’t know if you’re supposed to eat chocolate but I know you like it.”

“Oh my, it’s my favorite,” they gushed, prompting Vic to come closer.

“Come, sit, sit! We can share it.”

“Yeah, I guess we can.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost @superchrystaldrug

[drabbles-mc]

Compromising Positions

Juice Ortiz x F!Reader

Request by @adela-topaz-caelon: So, seeing your Juice post just now, I got another idea (oops) if it's okay to send another. I was thinking a Juice x Female reader, who gets super defensive over him, gets teased over it a lot, but goes absolutely ape shit at the guys when she finds out they stapled a sign to his chest when he accidentally drugged himself to sleep. And then after she goes ape, threatening to staple some bitches, she cleans him up and maybe some sudden release of emotions and pooooossibly smut? ^_^ maybe :D

Warnings: language, mentions of blood/injuries

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Being ready to pop off in defense of Juice is a sentiment that I can totally get behind, so thank you for this request lmao. I didn’t end up going the smutty route because I just didn’t feel like it fit the whole mood of this story. But fear not! There will be other fics for our boy in the future that take care of that haha. Hope you enjoy!

SOA Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @mijop @garbinge @xladymacbethx @kkim120 @multiyfandomgirl40 @i-just-read-stuff @chibsytelford (Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)

You tried to tune out the conversations of the guys as you wiped down the surface of the bar. They’d hardly been out of church for five minutes and they had already completely moved past everything that they had been talking about behind closed doors. You loved them all but you would be lying if you said that listening to the way that they spoke about things sometimes didn’t get underneath your skin a little bit. You’d learned to pick your battles wisely because there was only so much that you could be frustrated about all the time.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw one of the guys reach over and give Juice a light smack to the back of his head. You looked up, eyes instantly zeroing in on what was going on. It wasn’t shocking to you that it was Tig who was doling out the abuse—that seemed to be a large part of their relationship with each other.

Juice never seemed overly bothered by it whenever the guys would rag on him. You wished that you were as good at brushing it off as he was, but every time you saw them picking on him it made your blood boil. For that reason alone you knew that your feelings towards Juice were no secret, and the guys went in on you about it just as much as they went in on Juice for everything else. It seemed like the only person who never picked on you for how you felt about Juice was Juice himself. He never said anything about it one way or the other.

“Look out, Tig,” Jax spoke up with a laugh, “keep that up and you’re about to catch some hands from someone else.”

Your frustration must’ve been instantly apparent on your face. You made a concentrated effort to relax your features, but it wasn’t much use. Shaking your head silently, you returned your attention to the bar.

“Go on, then, Y/N,” Tig said with a cocky laugh, “If you got something to say then say it.”

You didn’t lift your eyes, knowing that getting into it right now wasn’t going to accomplish anything. Juice spoke up on your behalf, though, “Leave her alone, Tig. She’s just trying to work without having to listen to you guys talk shit all the time.”

“Funny how she only seems to get uptight when it’s about one person in parti—”

“Are you done?” you cut him off.

Tig held his hands up in mock surrender, “Sure, doll,” he turned to Juice, “Should start bringing her with you on runs. Maybe she can keep you safe out there, too.”

You gnawed at the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from saying something that would undoubtedly make the situation worse. You tossed your cleaning rag onto the surface of the bar before turning and walking towards the door of the clubhouse. Without missing a beat, you swiped a pack of cigarettes off of one of the tables as you went. You could hear the guys murmuring behind you but you blocked it out.

You were lost in your thoughts, camped out on the picnic table outside the clubhouse, when someone came and sat down next to you. Glancing over, you saw that it was Juice. You didn’t have to fully look at him to know the expression that he had on his face. It was the same one that he always had whenever the guys gave you a hard time—a mixture of pity and being flattered.

You shook your head slightly, “You don’t need to check on me, Juice. I can handle them.”

“You realize I can handle them too, right?” he gave your shoulder a playful nudge with his own.

Despite your annoyance, you smiled as you took a drag from the cigarette between your fingers. You let yourself make full eye contact with him, “I never said that you couldn’t.”

You passed him your cigarette and he took it with a smile. The two of you didn’t say anything else about what had just happened, opting to just sit and enjoy each other’s company silently. Juice was one of the few people in the world that you could enjoy silence with, and you knew that in moments like this when you were cooling off from being frustrated, it was truly a blessing to have him around.

A few days ticked by and you managed to not get yourself into any more arguments with Tig or any of the other guys. Every now and then when things were getting a little rowdy in the clubhouse you could feel the guys looking at you, waiting for you to speak up and insert yourself into the middle of it. It took some conscious effort on your part, but you stayed out of it.

You were just starting to get ready for your next shift at the bar when you heard the door to the clubhouse open. You didn’t look up at first, too immersed in everything that you were doing to try and straighten up a little bit. The only thing that caught your attention was the quiet groan that filled the room.

Looking up, your eyes went wide when you saw Juice. You had so many questions but you weren’t sure if you really wanted answers to any of them. You went to walk up to him to offer a helping hand but he waved you off as he walked back to his dorm. Every fiber of your being was telling you to follow him, but you didn’t. Part of you knew that you weren’t going to get any answers from him, so instead you stormed in the opposite direction from him to find the other guys.

You flung the clubhouse door open and were greeted by the sight of the guys huddled around the table, all laughing and joking around. You had a feeling that you knew exactly what they found to be so funny.

“What the fuck did you do this time?” you made a direct line for Tig.

“Whoa, whoa,” he laughed as he took a step back from you, “why do you assume that it was me?”

“You telling me it wasn’t?”

“Depends on what you’re talking about.”

“What the hell happened to Juice?”

“Maybe you should keep a better eye on your boy, Y/N,” Jax said, trying and failing to stifle his laughter, “and he wouldn’t land himself in such…compromising positions.”

You weren’t naïve enough to think that Juice couldn’t get himself into difficult situations on his own. He didn’t always think things through. But you also knew that when he was putting himself in sketchy situations, the guys were the first ones to try and capitalize on it.

“Alright then, VP,” you turned your attention to Jax, “what did he land himself into this time?”

“Your boy knocked himself the fuck out. Thought he was taking vitamins when he…wasn’t. That’s on him for popping whatever gets put into his hands,” Jax was shaking his head as he spoke.

“That doesn’t explain why he walked into the clubhouse practically naked and bleeding.”

“The blood was probably from the staples,” Tig chimed in with a laugh.

“The what?” you managed to keep your voice below a yell, but barely.

He continued to laugh as he motioned for Chibs to hand you the sign that had been discarded onto the table, most likely tossed there by Juice when he finally made his way back to the clubhouse. You snatched it from the man’s hands, unfolding it and reading what it said. As you continued to put the entire situation together, you saw red for a moment.

“You stapled this to his fucking chest?” you folded the sign in half and proceeded to start hitting Tig in the head and chest with it, “What the fuck is the matter with you?”

“Jesus Christ,” Tig was holding his hands up to try and block the onslaught of slaps coming his way.

“Y/N,” Jax reached to grab your arm to stop you and you ripped it from his grasp.

You turned back to him, not afraid to go toe-to-toe with the VP. He might’ve held an office in the club, but he was just another blonde biker at the bar as far as you were concerned, especially in this moment.

You shoved the sign into his chest, pushing him back in the process, “What? You got some smart shit to say?”

“You’re making a bigger deal out of this than you need to. Juicy is a grown man, he can handle his own shit.”

“You think it’s not a big deal?” you stepped in close to him, “You put two staples in his goddamn chest and you think it’s not a big deal?” you shoved him once more for good measure, “Get me a goddamn staplegun! We’ll see how big of a deal it is when I’m drilling shit into your chest!” you shook your head, “I swear to fucking god, Jax, I should put some staples into your fuckin—”

You stopped short when you felt a hand land on your shoulder. You whipped around, ready to fight, but you were met with Juice’s eyes. He was still going without a shirt, but he’d taken the time to go put pants on. You were assuming that he could hear your rage from inside the clubhouse and it prompted him to come outside. There was a glint of amusement in his eyes and you would’ve been more enamored with it if you weren’t still focused on the two wounds that were bleeding on his chest.

“C’mon,” Juice tried to redirect you back towards the clubhouse, “it’s fine, Y/N. I’m alright.”

You turned back around, staring daggers at all the guys, but mostly Jax and Tig, “This isn’t over with,” you huffed and shook your head, “Motherfuckers.”

Before you could say anything else, Juice started nudging you back towards the door. You were grumbling underneath your breath as Juice continued to usher you into the building. When you were inside and it was just the two of you, you turned to him and let the anger fade away slightly.

“What the fuck is the matter with them?”

He laughed and shook his head, “We’re all a little fucked up. Can’t just hold it against them.”

“I’ll be mad at you later, don’t worry,” you sighed, unable to pry your eyes away from his injuries, “At least let me clean you up a little? I’m no doctor but I feel like I could still help you out a little bit.”

He smiled and nodded, glad that he had a way to pacify you a little bit for the time being. The last thing he wanted to be dealing with was you going on a rampage with a staplegun. You went and dug out your first aid kit from behind the bar before following him back to his dorm. The two of you sat on the edge of his bed. You wanted to stay completely focused on the task at hand but you were only human. You chastised yourself for your wandering thoughts.

“Considering you took a bunch of mystery pills,” you said with a slight shake of your head as you laid out your supplies, “you don’t look too worse for wear.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” he chuckled as he watched your calculated, meticulous movements.

“Trying to sweeten you up because cleaning out these cuts is gonna hurt like a bitch,” you managed a smile, “Don’t want you to end up hating me too much.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

You tried to ignore the heat rising in your face as you set about cleaning the torn skin on his chest. He cringed and cursed under his breath when you swabbed the cuts with alcohol. You fought the urge to apologize but it was difficult.

You were leaning in close enough to feel his breath on the side of your neck. It was taking all of your self-control to stay focused on placing bandages on him. Your hands begged you to let them wander but you kept it together. When you pulled away and looked at Juice, there was something in his expression that made you feel like he was reading every thought that had been crossing your brain as you worked.

“What?” you tried to sound less nervous than you really were as you started to put your medical supplies away.

“Were you really about to threaten to put staples in Jax’s dick?” he couldn’t keep his laughter in any longer.

You smiled as you set your first aid kit off to the side, “I sure fucking was.”

“Felt like you really meant it.”

You waited for his eyes to meet yours, “I did.”

He laughed, draping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you against his side, “I know I spend a lot of time telling you not to worry about the guys, but I hope you know it is nice to know that someone has my back.”

You nodded as you tried to focus on both the feeling of warmth coming from his body and the words he was saying, “Of course. I’ll go after anyone with a staplegun for you. No questions asked.”

He chuckled before leaning in and pressing a kiss against your temple. You nearly melted into a puddle in his arms at the contact. He let his lips linger against your skin for a moment, “Thank you.”

You rested your hand on his thigh, allowing yourself to lean completely into him. His arm wrapped tighter around you and you smiled as your cheek rested against the bare skin of his chest, careful to not touch the bandages you had just dressed him with.

“Y/N?”

“Mhm?”

When he didn’t say anything else, you pulled away so you could look at him. There was a small smirk tugging at the edges of his lips as he looked at you. Your eyes searched his, trying to figure out just what he was thinking.

His free hand came up and rested on the side of your face, and you instantly leaned into his touch. The palm of his hand was rough and calloused, but despite that you couldn’t deny that it felt like it was in its rightful place resting against your cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut as you soaked up the moment. Juice chuckled quietly, not expecting you to react so quickly and comfortably.

It gave him a little boost of confidence as he leaned in and pressed his forehead against yours. You opened your eyes, smiling as your heart began to speed up inside your chest.

“Wanna know what would really make me feel better?” you could hear that he was trying not to laugh as he spoke.

“What?” a giggle slipped out past your lips.

“If you let me kiss you.”

You laughed, reaching up to rest one hand on the back of his neck, “For your health.”

You could feel the smile still on his face as he pressed his lips against yours. Everything else that had been happening suddenly faded from your mind—the only thing you could think about was how right it felt to be kissing him. His thumb traced lightly along your cheekbone as he leaned into you. You couldn’t win out over the urge to smile as you continued to kiss him, and you could feel the laughter starting to vibrate in his chest.

He pulled you so that you were straddling his lap, keeping his lips locked onto yours as he did. Your hands cradled the back of his head as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You could feel the warmth of his body seeping through your shirt and the only thought coursing through your brain was that he felt like home.

When he finally pulled his lips off of yours, they were still curved up into a smile. You could feel the warmth flooding your face as you tried to stifle a laugh, biting down lightly on your bottom lip. He ran his hands up and down your sides and you pressed a quick, light kiss to his lips.

“Feel better?” you finally said, your laughter beginning to escape you.

“I think so,” there was a playful glint in his eyes, “but just to be sure, could you do that again?”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head despite the fact that you knew you were never going to say no to him, “Anything for you.”

[wonlouvre]

pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff and future angst word count: 2.8k WARNINGS: hospital, injury, child trafficking, child abuse, hostage taking, guns, police, violence

author’s note: we have reached part 4!!! i think our couple’s relationship development is quite slow. please bear with me/them, they’re getting there!!! :’((( also, i am still very much thankful and overjoyed for the kind feedback that you guys gave for the previous chapter. i hope you guys are looking forward for this one. enjoy!!! :)))

four: let’s get you home, princess | masterlist

Wonwoo is not addressed as Your Highness inside the hospital premises. It’s actually rare for him to hear Your Highness ever since the royal decrees have been relaxed. His close friends, family and even colleagues have been calling him by his name or profession for the longest time. However, the King and Queen still must be addressed with utmost respect, regardless of who the person may be to the Royal Family. 

Things just got different when he started living and working at your kingdom. He had said that it’s okay for him to be called Wonwoo most especially by senior doctors who have been practicing even before he was born. But it was still awkward so they stuck with Dr. Jeon. These days, some young residents and interns still stutter and it just makes Wonwoo laugh. 

From time to time, Wonwoo is withdrawn from the hospital because of his duties as the Prince. Duties such as to make an appearance, attend a meeting or speak at an event. Said duties usually eat up most of his days in a week. Days where he could and should have been at the hospital, doing what he pledged to do until he dies. 

Wonwoo is loyal to the crown, but he is also committed to the people he promised to serve. 

The wedding planning has started and he’s relieved that you and him both have reached an agreement to hire a full-time planner that will arrange whatever the desires of your hearts may be. He’s grateful that just like him, you are happily married to your job. It’s a lame joke, but Wonwoo can never be bothered to care. So far as the wedding planning goes, you have been looking at venues such as hotels, private gardens or beach resorts. Initially, his parents offered to hold the wedding at their kingdom but you humbly requested to have it at your homeland instead. 

It was no issue to the King and Queen, definitely understanding where you were coming from.

Wonwoo admires that side of you. You seem to always know what you want and when you do, you speak up at the right time with elegance and confidence. He believes it’s the lawyer and princess in you altogether. 

The thought of you puts a smile on his face. He hopes you wake up soon so he can see you.

“Wonwoo?” 

His thoughts popped like a bubble when his name was suddenly called. He clears his throat and faces the owner of the voice. It was Soonyoung and by the looks of his grin, Wonwoo’s sure he witnessed him daydreaming. 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and goes back to the charts he’s been reading. “What do you want?”

“That’s not how you return the favor of your friend who brought you a fresh batch of clothing,” his friend chides, bumping his shoulder against his tall friend. “You seemed to have had a great night, our Prince.”

It’s trivial, really. But Wonwoo’s cheeks blushed at the reminder. He will never tell anyone but staying with you yesterday until the early hours of today made him feel something he doesn’t know. It’s absurd how he can’t pinpoint what that something is, but he won’t deny that there is. 

“Shut up,” he grumbles like a child, ignoring the cheeky giggle Soonyoung emits. 

Speaking of Soonyoung, he was born in your kingdom and moved to the neighboring one when he was only a baby. Both his parents are doctors also who have the heart and passion to offer their services voluntarily. They were only set for a medical mission before going back in a month, but the King and Queen (Wonwoo’s parents) recognized and applauded their kindness, offering them a place to stay and permanent positions at their Royal Hospital. 

Being of the same age, Wonwoo and Soonyoung grew up together and became best of friends. 

It’s no question that he’s attached to the Prince wherever he goes. 

“Dr. Jeon,” another voice calls for him and this time, it sounded desperate. 

Wonwoo looks up and finds a young resident, looking disheveled and stressed. “What is it?”

“I have a young boy, 10-11-years-old, crying in pain while clutching his left arm,” she explains the basics before continuing, “He was brought by someone who seemed like his brother not older than 14-years-old. They weren’t accompanied by anyone.”

“Ask for their names and address,” Soonyoung suggests while standing straight and crossing his arms. “I’m sure we can find some contact details from the statistics office.”

The young intern shakes her head. “They’re not talking. All the older boy is saying, begging rather, is for us to help them.”

“X-ray?” Wonwoo asks and pumps some sanitizer on his hands. 

“The result is on the way.”

Wonwoo nods and starts walking to where the boys are. “Let’s see what we got then.”

The emergency department is always hectic and anyone that says otherwise is unbelievable. Regardless of what the case may be, Wonwoo stands that if they are brought here, it is an emergency. Usually, they range from new parents bringing their newborn baby who can’t stop crying in the middle of the night or some bringing their seven-year-old for a cast because they fell off the bike while playing with their friends. They all seem to be treatable and can be discharged in an hour or so. But sometimes, you can never be too sure. 

Wonwoo knows because he has witnessed it already. That one baby that’s been crying was actually fighting a fever and that one kid who fell from the bike? It was having trouble with his balance and movement. 

It’s not the first time that young children came to the hospital by themselves. They’re soon followed by their parents or guardian afterwards most of the time. Wonwoo supposes the kids this time around are in shock that they can’t form any clear thoughts at the moment. 

But Wonwoo doesn’t think that’s the case at all once the curtains were pulled open. 

“Oh my,” Soonyoung blurts out, surprised. 

Wonwoo expected two boys looking dirty and blushing from playing under the sun all throughout the day. He expected them to be silently crying for their mom or dad. He expected them to be at least healthy and on their way for a speedy recovery once they got treatment. But no, Wonwoo was wrong.

The boys looked awfully hungry and dehydrated. Their clothes were smaller than what their body looks like and the older brother is missing one pair of his shoes. He noticed bruises on some parts of their body. There’s even a nasty cut on the older boy’s bottom lip. 

Something’s wrong and Wonwoo is not a fool to not notice it. 

Wonwoo releases the breath he’s been holding and smiles genuinely. “Hello, I’m Wonwoo.”

Silence. 

He looked at Soonyoung before proceeding to meet the boy’s height who’s sitting on the chair beside his brother’s bed. “I’m going to take a look at your brother now, if you don’t mind.” 

The older one finally looks at him, his eyes dead serious. “That’s what they have been saying ever since we got here. Why can’t you just treat him already?”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Wonwoo tries to calm him down, noticing his tear-stained face and shaking voice. “Your brother will probably need a cast. We’re just waiting for the x-ray results to come out to know for sure. I just need to ask some questions, alright?”

The boy’s bloodied lip trembles as he nods his head. 

“I’ll go get the result,” Soonyoung says and leaves without forgetting to close the curtains.

“What’s your name?” 

“They call me Jung,” the boy answers, weak and unsure. He then points at his sleeping brother, “He’s called Sam.”

Wonwoo’s brows furrow in both confusion and doubt. Why wouldn’t they have official names? Looking at the brothers’ state all over again, it didn’t take Wonwoo long to comprehend what’s really going on. He turns his head to the resident and locks eyes with her, who’s already grasping the situation at hand. He then gives her a nod, signalling her to immediately call children’s services.

Once she leaves, Soonyoung arrives with an envelope. 

“It’s a fracture, but won’t need surgery,” He says happily and Jung sighs in relief. 

“But, you’re staying here for a while,” Wonwoo takes hold of the envelope from his friend. “We just need to run some more tests.”

Soonyoung looks at his friend with wide eyes asking, what are you talking about? But Wonwoo ignores him and keeps his smile in the hopes that the boy doesn’t grow any more agitated.

“Your brother is okay,” he assures Jung and squeezes his shoulder. “We’ll put the cast on his arm and clean the cut on your lip shortly. Stay here, okay?”

He pushes his friend out after the boy gives them a nod. Soonyoung was still glaring at him at the nonsense he spewed out earlier. Wonwoo puts a finger on his lip, gesturing for him to not say a thing yet until they move to somewhere more quiet. 

“What is going on?” Soonyoung whispered-shouts when they reached what seemed to be the fire exit. “What tests are we still running?”

“It’s a lie,” Wonwoo answers and smooths the lines on his forehead, thinking and thinking on what he should do. “We need to keep them here. I think… they’re victims of abuse and trafficking.”

Soonyoung’s jaw drops while his legs grow weak, making him stumble. This is nothing new to them. But even so, it still makes him sick to the stomach. He just nodded as he didn’t need to say anything else.

“I already asked for children’s services and they could arrive here anytime soon,” Wonwoo continues. “They looked like they escaped. I won’t be surprised if someone suddenly barges here, claiming they’re the parent or guardian.”

“What do we do when that happens?”

“We keep them safe,” he answers firmly. “No matter what.”

Every staff at the Emergency Room was alerted about the situation of the boys. Authorities were also called and they’ll be arriving soon. Wonwoo gave strict orders to not disclose any information about them to anyone who claims they are the parent or guardian. Any affiliation they assume is not acceptable unless they can prove it. 

The boys were transferred to a ward once Sam’s treatment was done. Wonwoo brought them some food, water and spare gowns to rid them of the excuse of clothes they’ve been wearing for who knows how long. It’s unbearable to imagine what they have gone through but seeing them get comfortable is enough to bring some peace to Wonwoo’s mind. 

He requested Soonyoung to stay with them or at least check on them from time to time and make sure no one goes inside their room other than the designated staff. He just needs the representative of the children’s services to arrive and they’ll start knowing what the next steps to take from there. 

Now that’s settled, Wonwoo can now go back to his routine and job.

Or not. 

“You’re Highness.”

His security detail stands before him, complete and blocking his way to the elevator that could bring him back to the Emergency Room. Wonwoo can notice the tense and nervous expressions on their faces like children about to admit the trouble they just caused. He had requested before that they be posted on the sides to not hinder him from working. They’re only to jump into action when it’s life threatening and by the looks of it they’re here in his face just to do that but he still asks.

“What are you doing here?”

The head of the group bows his head. “The Emergency Room is being held hostage by armed men. We need to leave as soon as possible.”

Wonwoo’s heart almost felt like it stopped beating. “No.” 

He needs to move. He needs to go back there. He can’t just leave.

Wonwoo forces his body against the men standing firm on their positions, only to be held back. His head of security nods at his men to not let him go and carry him if they have to. 

“No, no, no!”

Wonwoo thrashes from their hold as he screamed for them to let him go. He can hear his security speaking to his mic to prepare the vehicle that would transfer him to safety but in that second all men drop to the ground and shield him when an ear-splitting clap suddenly reverberates through the walls.

A gunshot was fired.

Meanwhile, you were brought to the top floor of the hospital at one of the private rooms reserved for the members of the Royal Family when you insisted on staying. Jeongyeon and the rest of your security detail were more than distressed at your stubbornness, fearing for the earful they’re going to get once this is all over. But they would rather have that than leave you and neglect their duty.

“Your Highness, we really have to go,” Jeongyeon reiterates, still trying to convince you while shaking your shoulders. 

You shake your head and avoid her eyes. “No, we can’t just leave the people here. We can’t leave…” you pause then whisper softly, “Wonwoo.”

Jeongyeon nods. “I know, I know. But the Royal Police are on their way and the Prince’s security detail is already with him. The two of you cannot stay here any longer. It’s an order from His Majesty.”

You swallow the lump on your throat. You can’t think. You can’t process whatever the hell is ensuing downstairs. The lives of innocent people, your innocent people, are at stake. 

You just can’t leave. You have to do something. 

“We’re not leaving this hospital until those armed men are immobilized.”

Jeongyeon wishes to plead further but all you hear was ringing when the sound of what you’ve been fearing the most resonated inside the room. 

Security scrambles and moves at a speed of light to protect you with their bodies. They were screaming among themselves but you fail to register what they’re saying. You fail to hear nor see your surroundings.

Everything became a blur.

Everything became nothing as your heart beated a thousand times faster than normal and the only person running through your mind is no one else but the Prince who was beside you just last night but is now in imminent danger.

Please, Wonwoo. Please.

“Their Majesties condemns the hostage taking that occurred at the Royal Hospital,” Prime Minister Lee starts, looking straight at the camera. “Their Majesties assures and promises the public that they will be held accountable for the crime they have committed but most importantly for the distress and trauma they have caused the patients. They commend the prompt action that the Hospital’s Security and Royal Police have taken resulting in no casualties.”

“Prime Minister Lee!” A reporter raises their hand. “Can you confirm that His and Her Highness Jeon Wonwoo and Y/N were at the hospital when the hostage took place?”

“Yes,” he answers, “Her Highness, Princess Y/N, was admitted to the hospital yesterday after fainting at her office…”

You switch the TV off with the remote before throwing it on the couch. You walk to the window with crossed arms and watch the Royal Police vehicles leave one by one after clearing the Emergency Room and declaring it safe. It’s now back to its normal operations. 

Apparently, the gunshot was fired by the police, wounding one of the hostage takers. They took advantage of that distraction to finally hold them down and arrest them right away. There’s no official statement from the Royal Police yet as they are still investigating further. You make a commitment to get to the bottom of this.

They’re gone now.

But Wonwoo is still unheard of. 

He’s safe, they told you. But that didn’t stop you from biting your nails, walking back and forth and pulling your hairs from the roots. You need to see him. 

“Your Highness,” Jeongyeon calls for you and your head snaps up. She gives you a small smile before opening the door she’s holding wider.

Wonwoo enters with a tired smile and you almost burst into tears. You ran to him as fast as you could, but your legs were weakened by worry, you almost fell. It’s a good thing Wonwoo meets you halfway and catches you in his arms. 

You take every tangible thing about him. You take and you take as you hold his waist tightly and bury your face to his chest. “You can’t do that to me.”

Wonwoo sighs in content upon breathing in your scent and hearing your voice. He wraps his one arm around your waist while the other holds your head gently. He stays silent and just holds you for as long as he desires. After the horror that transpired earlier, holding you like this is what he desperately needed. 

“Let’s get you home, Princess.”