#and then i just kinda went down a rabbit hole and anyway i bought the game

[rararasputins-dick-mind-control]

same

[planetkiimchi]

a love letter to your ex | x.dj

featuring: xiao dejun x gn!reader (but y/n tries to wear a skirt so), huang guangheng (hendery) ft. huang renjun, johnny suh

warnings: mentions of food, glass shards, mentions of blood, xiaojun is an idiot, so so much angst. i didn’t realise i was this evil? but anyway hope it’s good angst <3

word count: 5.6k

summary — dealing with a breakup is hard. but you thought that it would be because you hated the other person, not because you still loved them! no one told you that. xiao dejun, in particular, seems especially determined to make things harder for you, and maybe, just maybe, you want to go running back to him.

dedication: @loves-theory hey nada! i hope you enjoy this one, and it doesn't let you down after the sneak peek you got. it's kinda crazy how this one came out less fluffy than i thought it would, but i hope it's okay.

GETTING OVER PEOPLE IS HARD. You would know. Yes, you and Xiaojun had broken up on good terms, knowing full well that you couldn’t put up with his late-night gaming and his habit of just kissing you instead of making up properly. In turn, he found you too organised (and particular) for him to deal with and hated your club-going habits.

So yes. You realised you just couldn’t live with each other. But that didn’t mean you didn’t love him anymore, and you definitely still liked him.

You see, it’s very difficult to undo months of loving habits and strange peculiarities. Every time you tied your hair, you were reminded of his fingers running through your hair and getting tangled in it, while you laughed it off because you loved him. Even if you were just a little bit annoyed.

You signed your texts with an “xx y/n” because that’s how Xiaojun did it. He always started his texts with “dearest y/n”, and signed off with “your favourite man”. Which was true, at least until you broke up.

With all this in mind, it was very difficult to be “just friends” with Xiao Dejun, despite your wholehearted promises that you would try your best to do so. Because all he had to do was run his hands through his hair, and you found yourself falling into the rabbit hole of no return.

Again.

These were the thoughts running through your mind as you half-heartedly listened to your friends, Shin Hyewon and Kim Aeri, discuss their own love troubles. Only theirs were much more amusing to listen to, because Aeri’s boyfriend, Renjun, was a literal angel. Her love troubles went something like, “He bought me my favourite perfume for Valentine’s Day, but I can’t get him anything for White Day because I’m broke and I feel so bad. Do you think he thinks I’m a gold digger because I never get him anything?”

(You don’t think Renjun would ever think that of her. Renjun is the most understanding person you’ve met, and he doesn’t look down on anyone. Out of all the trashy men in the universe, Renjun is definitely the most likely to be empathetic to Aeri’s financial debt, even if he didn’t and could never relate. That was just the kind of man that he was.)

You didn’t have to say that aloud, because Hyewon was ready to be the voice of reason. In the least patronising tone possible, she managed to convey your thoughts exactly without any snarky remarks that reminded Aeri how lucky she was to have a boyfriend like Renjun. Which was three entire snarky remarks less than you could have managed.

Hyewon’s troubles, on the other hand, often went unsaid. Hyewon hated to make things about her, even when she was obviously in need of support. You and Aeri had realised that if Hyewon needed help, you would have to provide it subtly, so as not to hurt her pride.

Hyewon was a strong, independent woman (who sometimes needed her man). But Johnny was a busy person, and sometimes he got caught up in his work, prioritising “his boys” over his girlfriend. Hyewon was no stranger to being stood up by Johnny, and there had been many a time that you and Aeri had had to show up in a fancy restaurant to order one meal to share to save your wallets. There were never any questions asked, but it went without saying that Hyewon’s relationship wasn’t the best.

The real reason she stuck with him was that Johnny had been the perfect picture of a significant other for three years, and after five years of dating, Hyewon just didn’t want to give that up. For a while, you even thought that Johnny might be intending to propose.

You supposed, that with all the similarities in yours and Hyewon’s relationship, you should have guessed that it would end up similarly. Not wanting a loveless, unmaintainable relationship, you had broken up with Xiaojun on good terms. It was a mutual breakup. It was supposed to be a stepping stone in the journey of your life. It was not supposed to be something to haunt you for the rest of your holiday.

Perhaps deciding to work at an amusement park was not a good idea, you fretted. You, Aeri and Hyewon had decided to do it ever since you were in highschool, to get a taste of having a job that was fun and exciting before you lost the chance to. At the time of decision-making, it had seemed like the perfect way to get a discount to theme-park tickets for a date with Xiaojun.

Now, it felt like a painful reminder of how many of your classmates, friends, and Xiaojun’s friends frequented amusement parks during the school holidays. Friends who were almost 100% sure to pity you for your breakup. (Friends who didn’t understand the concept of a breakup without cheating or shouting or crying or arguments involved.)

“Riri? Is it okay if I wear this to work?” You twirled around in the mirror, calling out through the open door.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, they’ll give us standard jackets to put on and—” Aeri’s voice, which had been growing louder as she came closer, stopped abruptly. “Y/n, I know your fashion taste leans towards the cutesy side, but I don’t think they’ll allow you to wear a plaid skirt to work. In winter. In the outdoor amusement park.”

You smile sheepishly. Aeri never criticised your fashion taste before, mostly because you took after her for the most part. However, that meant that you didn’t have a perspective on what to wear to different occasions, because your wardrobe consisted of the same style of clothes in different colours and patterns.

Hyewon grinned as she came in, taking your outfit in. “Is this how you plan to make Xiaojun jealous? Because it’s definitely going to work.”

You scowled at her. Was there no way to put the unprofessionalism of your clothing choice nicely? Hyewon was dressed practically in a black suit with a blazer, and she looked like she would blend in easily in an office situation. Clearly, you needed to borrow from her repertoire of comfortable yet presentable clothes.

Hyewon tossed you a matching set of black trousers and a white blouse, pulling Aeri out and closing the door as they left you to get changed.

“Oh and by the way, you have ten minutes to eat breakfast, or we’ll be late.” Way to make an exit, Shin.

IT WAS BITTERLY, FREEZING COLD. You had left your chapstick at home, and you were sorely regretting it. Despite the morning rush, your chapstick was an essential item and you never should have left home without it. You wrap the standard coat, laced in an ugly orange colour to differentiate the staff from the park visitors, tighter around your body as you try not to visibly hop from foot to foot. That’s a surefire way to get fired before even working for a day there.

Luckily, you were not working at the entrance, scanning people’s tickets as they passed through the barrier. That would mean having to look at your classmates individually and watch the flash of recognition pass over their face and the excitement in their eyes turn into pity. Why was it always pity?

Instead, you were out in the cold, limbs freezing to death. “Move along,” you called out, clicking the metal clicker once for each person passing through. One, two, three, four…

“Y/n?” Oh crap who is it please don’t be Yangyang or Haechan or one of the nosy ones…

Oh. It’s even worse, you realised as your heart sank. It was Hendery, the school prince. Probably prettier than yourself and master of making everyone’s heart swoon with his jet-black hair, which fell over his face and the back of his neck in waves. He was accompanied by no other than his best friend, Xiao Dejun.

You couldn’t help but feel the sting of, not jealousy, per se, but something close to betrayal and closer still to missing and longing. You used to be Xiaojun’s best friend, his confidante, his other half. Yet, it had taken no longer than the span of a week for you to lose your title and fall to the ranks of a, if not real then at least a forced, stranger.

You avoided his eyes and tried to remain in working mode. Because if he just bit his lip or turned his head to show off his perfect, sharp jawline, you probably wouldn’t be able to focus. In fact, you might just collapse right where you were, and your job would go right down the drain.

You chose instead to focus on Hendery, holding out one hand to stop them from progressing further in the queue. “Please wait here, sir.”

“Your lips are really dry. Would you like to borrow my chapstick?” You looked down at Hendery’s hands as he offered you his chapstick. Actually, you would, you decided. Your lips were cracked and you still had the rest of the day to endure. It wasn’t going to get any better, so you would take any help that was thrown your way.

You applied it quickly and gratefully before returning it to Hendery and waving the next batch of park visitors into the ride. Obviously, you realised the health concerns, but you weren’t crossing any boundaries socially. Over your time spent as Xiaojun’s significant other, you had grown close to Hendery, enough so that you could borrow items of his without feeling awkward or strange. As you waved them through, you didn’t miss the expression of jealousy that flashed over Xiaojun’s face, feeling a small sense of triumph at getting him to feel the way that you had.

LATE EVENING, SNOW FELL in dribs and drabs. It was still only the beginning of winter, so there was no heavy snow and no flurry of white, chilly wind. However, it was dark outside and freezing, and your blood felt frozen. You could swear your bones were stiff from the cold.

Still, it was a lovely evening, and the coat was comfortable enough. There was only one last batch of people going on the ride before the theme park closed, and just as you let them in with a smile, Xiaojun passed by.

You hadn’t been able to pay attention to him earlier, but his cheeks were red from the low temperature, and his eyes were as starry as the night sky. His smile was exactly the same as you remembered, gentle and encouraging.

“Are you leaving yet?” He asked.

“No.” Of course, as a staff member you would have to close up the ride before you could leave. It wouldn’t take long, but you didn’t want to be left alone with Xiaojun for any longer than a few seconds. More than that, and you couldn’t—and didn’t want to be—responsible for what would happen.

Hendery came up to the both of you, panting slightly. He had clearly been running, which gave rise to the question, had Xiaojun ran to find you? Why was he still at the park so late?

As the questions ran through your mind, Xiaojun said, “I’ll wait for you outside the entrance,” leaving before you could protest. Even if he had, what would you have said to him? You knew that once his mind was set, he wouldn’t change it no matter how hard you tried to persuade him.

You were saved by your coworker calling your name, and you went inside the heated area (oh, blissful warmth) and tried not to stress too much about it.

The sound of Hendery asking Xiaojun, “What are you doing, man? They clearly don’t want to talk to you.” didn’t go unheard by you, but by then they were too far away for you to be sure, and you had trouble discerning Xiaojun’s response.

The ambiguity of the sentence hung in your mind, fogging your senses. You mindlessly swept the snow off the seats and wiped them down, your body going through the motions, mimicking your coworker’s without a second thought.

However, as you picked up the lost and found items, your mind was on Hendery’s words. He was right, Xiaojun was (weirdly) a sore subject for you, and you didn’t really want to talk to him more than you had to. It went without saying that what Xiaojun was doing probably went further than what most friends did, and hovered in the grey area between platonic and romantic. Obviously, you still loved Xiaojun. You understood that he cared for you, but if he didn’t stop that you were going to fall for him all over again.

True to his word, Xiaojun was waiting outside the theme park for you, with Hendery idling beside him. Hendery’s arms were crossed over his chest, tapping his foot impatiently when you arrived. He shrugged his shoulders, as if to say, I tried to stop him. What more can I do?

But Xiaojun was too focused on you to realise the silent conversation you two were having. He looked like he was having trouble restraining himself from rushing over to envelope you in a hug. He jiggled his knee nervously as you went over hesitantly.

Aeri and Hyewon waited beside you, huddled together in the cold, but you were too curious to be bothered by such a superficial thing.

“What do you want?” Hyewon asked for you, seeing how slow you were to speak.

“P-please hurry so w-we can go home,” Aeri chimed in, teeth chattering.

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Xiaojun mumbled. Noticing how red your ears were, he removed his scarf and wrapped it around you, almost as familiar as when he’d done it before you had broken up.

“I’ll meet you at the café down the street when school starts again?”

“I- Alright,” you sighed. Stupid feelings and the way you always fell for him.

“STUDY HANGOUT’,” AERI SAID mockingly, making bunny ears as she did so. “Yeah, right. It’s obviously a café date.”

“Ugh!” You threw your hands up in the air in defeat, collapsing in a heap on the bed. Xiaojun had taken you to that café so many times before for dates, and now that you two were “just friends”, he thought it would be okay to reuse the same idea? That wasn’t going to work!

Your friends weren’t oblivious, they knew Xiaojun still liked you, but you really thought you had made it clear that now that you were broken up, you would have to draw a line somewhere.

“I need to bring a friend,” you decided. “Someone who can make the boundaries clear and prevent us from doing stupid things— Not you, Hyewon. That’s too obvious. Maybe… Ten?”

Hyewon shook her head. “He’s too transparent, and he’ll either be absorbed in something else or completely forget that he’s the chaperone and not a wingman.”

“Kun?”

Aeri quickly shot off a text, and the ‘ding’ sound chimed almost immediately after. “He’s busy.”

“That leaves… No.” You stopped in your tracks. You couldn’t! That would be too awkward for all three of you. Plus, you inviting Xiaojun’s friend over? Wouldn’t that be against protocol?

Hyewon grinned. “Yes.”

“No!” You leapt up from the bed, trying to leave the room, but Hyewon blocked the way.

“Think about it. It’s perfect: Xiaojun would feel too awkward with his best friend around to hit on you, you and Hendery know each other well, and Hendery definitely agrees that Xiaojun shouldn’t go back to you. He’ll definitely cooperate the best among all of them. Unless you think Yangyang could do a better job?”

“There’s always Winwin,” you offered meekly.

Hyewon scoffed. “Please! As if he could look up from his games. Or if Kun successfully gets him to change this year, then he won’t be able to leave the library. They’ll be studying together.”

You sighed defeatedly. There was no use in arguing, once Hyewon had won the argument, she would definitely not budge. Aeri didn’t want to go against her, either, so you were forced to ask Hendery to chaperone you.

“Okay,” you announce. “He said yes.”

Hyewon nods approvingly.

YOU WERE THE SECOND TO REACH, and when you made a move to sit down, Hendery waved you over. You sat down opposite him, watching his concerned eyes but not giving any kind of answer.

The silence settled like sediments at the bottom of a flask of unstirred tea, uncomfortable and distinct from the smooth conversations you were used to, but nothing that would be harmful to your relationship.

Seconds passed, stretching like minutes. You tried your best not to fidget, avoiding Hendery’s eyes before his concern could overwhelm you. The anxiety and sweaty hands were enough to deal with.

“So what’s going on with you and Xiaojun?”

Speaking of the devil… Before you could reply, Xiaojun saved you from the awkward situation. He came up to you two, confused but not surprised at seeing his best friend and ex at the same table. His hands were behind his back, clearly hiding something.

“Am I interrupting?” You shook your head, and Hendery moved over for Xiaojun to sit.

With a shy smile, Xiaojun presented you with a small bouquet of flowers. The bouquet was a deep shade of red, with red chrysanthemums, carnations, and camellias, with blue salvias hidden in the center. You didn’t know how to tell him what the flowers really meant, having been interested in the language of flower bouquets for a time before.

“From a friend,” Xiaojun said quickly. “Just- just a friendly bouquet. For our friendship.”

How many times did he need to say it to convince himself? Because you knew better than anyone that Xiaojun did not give thoughtless gifts.

Red chrysanthemums, I love you. Red carnations, my heart aches. Red camellia, you’re a flame in my heart. Blue salvia, think of me.

Xiaojun knew what he was doing. You could see him asking the florist what best to give, trying to describe his message in terms that fit the flowers. You could see him watching attentively as the florist arranged the flowers delicately, carefully carrying it from the florist’s to the café.

And it was your anniversary. White day. You should be giving him flowers, if you were together. That was traditional, and you adored tradition. You always wrote a note or a card when you gave him gifts.

“Happy White Day!” You grinned, holding out the chocolate controller. You had specially ordered it for your one year anniversary, and were so proud of it.

“Happy White Day,” he replied softly, gazing at the controller with loving eyes. Perhaps, that was the same gaze he used to look at you. You tilted your head as if to say, Well? as you eagerly awaited his response.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s beautiful,” you told him. Then, right as he sighed in relief, “But not from a friend to a friend.”

Your words were whispered, but perhaps still too harsh. You took care to keep your voice low and not attract attention, but it didn’t ease the pain.

“Really, Jun? I love you, my heart aches, you’re a flame in my heart? Think of me? You can’t expect me to believe you randomly picked a bouquet. I know you too well for that. I don’t know what you mean by it, maybe you didn’t want me to know outright, but I do. And we can’t keep doing this anymore. I really can’t live like this, Dejun. You can’t keep chasing after me and expect me to be okay.”

“Why would you have to?” He asked, getting heated. Hendery put a hand on him, ready to calm him down—wrestle him back into sitting if needed—but he immediately lowered his volume.

“Because. We broke up, Dejun.” You stood up as you said this. You made to leave, and Xiaojun stopped you with a hand that was clearly clutching something. You pushed him away, maybe a bit too hard, because whatever was in his hand clattered to the ground. You noticed that the clear shards resemble glass, a choked gasp of shock stuck in your throat.

You stumbled back, too stunned to notice that you accidentally stepped on what’s left of his gift. You were so busy trying to get away that you didn’t see what happened next.

XIAOJUN FELL TO THE GROUND on his knees. tears streaming from his eyes. Quiet sobs wracked his body as his chest heaved, practically breaking down. He picked up as much of the glass as he could, the crystal shards glinting cruelly back at him. He sobbed as he tried (and failed) to put his broken heart back together, except it felt like it was falling apart exactly the way the shards of his gift did in his hands.

Hendery had seen enough.

“Get up,” he told Xiaojun. He handed him a stack of napkins, which Xiaojun used to wrap the shards in, stuffing it into his pocket. “Don’t touch anything, I don’t want you getting splinters and needing to go to the accident and emergency unit.”

Xiaojun's hands slid into his pockets, and Hendery immediately pulled them out. "You have glass on your hands. Don't be an idiot, you're already doing enough to hurt yourself."

Hand still on Xiaojun's wrist, he dragged him back to the bus stop, mumbling under his breath, "I just don't get why."

Xiaojun’s mind went blank as Hendery brought him over to his house, picking the splinters from his palms with a tweezer, muttering under his breath. Hendery’s parents weren’t home, or they would have asked Xiaojun to sit down for a cup of tea and fussed over his injuries like he hadn’t fractured his leg playing football before.

Luckily, Xiaojun was mostly fine. The blood was minimal, and there weren’t any deep gashes or cuts. The glass in his pocket dug against his hip bone, but the discomfort was at least familiar, and better than the emptiness he would feel for weeks without you.

Hendery slammed bandages and antiseptic on the counter, watching Xiaojun to make sure he cleaned up his wounds properly. Xiaojun tugged the bandages tightly around his palm, mouth pressed tightly together unhappily.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, you complete fool. You have to let them go. Don’t talk to them until you can do it without crying. I know, breakups hurt, but you agreed. Both of you are mature enough to get through this, you hear me?” Hendery reverted to Cantonese to say this to Xiaojun, sighing exasperatedly.

Xiaojun didn’t know if he could promise that. He didn’t know if he could live with a gaping hole in his heart, with the lack of interaction and “love you”s, cuddling under sheets with you.

He missed you so, so much, every bit of you. From the tilt of your head to the tips of your hair that curled when the air got too humid, the baby hair that fell in your face. He loved to watch you shake your head in annoyance, the hair curling around your ear in familiarity. The glint of your eyes when you were up to something, the way they sparkled when you held back tears, how they disappeared when you smiled.

He missed pressing kisses into the curve of your dimple-less smile, brushing over your cheeks and reminding you how stunning you were even when you were insecure of your skin. Loved the way your neck fit just right against him when you hugged him, the crook of your neck perfect for falling asleep in.

He missed your hands. Missed how icy cold they were in air-conditioned rooms, the gentle warmth coming off of them after gym class. Missed holding hands with you, fingers interlaced in a comfortable, unchanging pattern.

He wanted you back, wanted to carry you back into his life and welcome you to the home as if you’d never left. He wanted to have a conversation with you and not have it end in awkward silence, wanted to go back in time and change everything and what did he do wrong?

Could he have done something to make you cry when he gave you flowers, made you despise him to the point where you consciously avoided him? He couldn’t remember, but sometimes you bottled up your feelings and exploded at the seemingly smallest things. It took time to unpack your feelings and talk about it, after you’d avoided confrontation for so long.

He wanted you back, and he knew that to do that he had to apologise first.

EXCEPT THAT HE DIDN’T REALLY know how to. Not when Hyewon glared at him as soon as he got within two meters of you. Aeri’s glare was even scarier, it killed his courage immediately.

He had always seen Aeri as demure, pretty but innocent, and completely harmless. He hadn’t seen her defend somebody with her eyes, baring her teeth without opening her mouth in the slightest.

Her face fell so quickly when she saw him, scaring him away immediately. He couldn’t get near you, and as days went by, he started to question if it really was worth it.

He probably would have left you to simmer in your feelings if he hadn’t decided to play sad songs at home and cry in his room, which led to him flipping through old cards that he had received from you, leading to the (not-so-)brilliant idea to send you a love letter.

From a secret admirer, obviously, because if he put his own name, you would probably throw the entire envelope away before you read a word.

He sat by his desk for a good hour and a half, writing with a pencil and furiously erasing it when it sounded even the least bit like himself. Soon, his table was filled with eraser dust and the paper was marked with indents, and he finally settled on,

dearest y/n,

i think i like you. i’ve watched you for a while, and i want you to know you’re the most attractive person i’ve ever seen. meet me at the library, the middle row if you’d like to give me a chance? please?

- your secret admirer xx

The last line was a bit risky, since he knew you would recognise the way he signed off his texts, but it was still just ambiguous enough that any cheesy person could have written it.

He wasn’t good at changing his handwriting, but his hands were so sore from gripping the pencil tightly that he could rest assured you wouldn’t recognise it at all. The library’s inconspicuous, right? She’ll never suspect it’s me. I hope we’re far enough that Winwin and Kun don’t turn around to see us.

It haunted him throughout the night, the envelope sitting atop his table like a doll, watching him sleep and entering his dreams.

“A LOVE LETTER?”

You looked at it in surprise. It was plain, with the only indication of it being from a secret admirer the heart-shaped sticker used to seal it loosely. The cream paper felt thin, and was nothing extravagant. You were glad, at least it wasn’t blaringly obvious to anyone who passed by.

Hearing your words, Aeri was by your side in a flash. Renjun came over, eyes examining the envelope without a word.

“You got a love letter?” He asked. You frowned. Yes, you were surprised too, but why did he have to say it like he was shocked? Couldn’t you get love letters? After all, you were single now.

“I’m just saying,” Renjun said with a good-natured shrug. “I’ve seen Aeri get plenty of love letters even though we’re dating, but you’ve never gotten one before.”

“Well, times change.” You pried open the letter curiously, and scanned the contents quickly, trying not to raise your eyebrows too much.

Aeri snatched it from your hands, confused when you didn’t put up any resistance, frowning like you. Renjun peeked over her shoulder, nosily reading it as well.

“Wonder who it’s from,” Hyewon said suddenly. Your heart leapt in your chest, but you nodded and jerked your chin, asking her to read it as well to give her opinion.

“The handwriting looks familiar,” you muse, “but I can’t really put my finger on who it belongs to. Anyway, I’ll probably go, but just to reject them politely. I’m still… I think I’m still caught up in how Xiaojun makes me feel. I’m not really ready to move on yet, so I’ll probably think of some way to say that nicely.”

You have to give Renjun credit for not grimacing at what you’re saying, because usually if you talk too much about deep things, men tend to grow bored or cringe in embarrassment. Like you said, Renjun’s perfect and you hope Aeri treasures him.

You banish all thoughts of the letter to the back of your mind, that’s a problem for future you.

YOU’RE REHEARSING YOUR REJECTION SPEECH as you trudge towards the library, not dragging your feet but not particularly eager, either. 

It’ll go something like: Sorry, I’m not interested. I understand that I’m available now that Xiaojun and I have broken up, but I don’t want you to be a rebound. (If it’s a sweet person that you know, you might tell them that they don’t deserve that.) I’m not ready for a relationship, and I won’t be able to commit to one in the near future. Please, leave me alone.

You’re also contemplating if it isn’t someone nice, and whether you’ll have to run if they get violent or if it’ll be fine since you’re in the library. What would the librarian be able to do, anyway?

The library seat (in the middle row) that the mysterious person had specified for the meeting point was empty, but you sat down anyway. You anxiously tapped your fingers against the table, drumming impatiently as you waited for said person to arrive.

You gave your surroundings a quick look, spotting Kun, Xiaojun’s friend, who smiled at you and waved. Sitting opposite him, clearly struggling, was Winwin, who looked up and tipped his chin in acknowledgement before biting his lip and going back to his work.

You were just about to get up and search for the person elsewhere, when somebody walked up to you, and Xiaojun took a seat opposite you.

your secret admirer, xx. dearest y/n. It struck you like a punch to your gut. It was an innocuous enough way to start a love letter and to end one, but it also screamed Xiaojun, after all that time he’d sent his texts to you, you couldn’t believe you hadn’t seen his fingerprints plastered all over it. Quite literally so, because he had probably handwritten it. That was why the handwriting looked so familiar!

You got up, ready to bolt, but his hand grabbed your wrist before you could go anywhere. “Please.”

It was soft, filled with so much desperation and pleading that your past self would not have been able to endure. You would have caved immediately, listening to every word of his and hanging on to his apology. You could never turn him down anyway.

But you’d had enough. You were sick and tired of walking this tightrope, dancing between your tears and his. It always felt like with Xiaojun, you were going head over heels, tumbling, unconsciously turning over and over again. Now, the slope was getting steeper, and you were falling so quickly both you and Xiaojun were going to get hurt.

“I’m not your toy, Xiao Dejun. I’ve had enough with you. Please, leave me alone. I don’t want to do this,” you whisper hoarsely.

“Before you go- at least tell me something. Just- just this one question.”

He hesitated for just a second, but you caught it. “Was I a bad person to you? I hope I wasn’t. But I guess I was.”

“I didn’t want to- I didn’t think I was good enough of a person. I felt like I didn't do enough to deserve you and I don't want you to end up the way hyewon did, with a person she loved but couldn’t treat her right.”

The old Xiaojun probably would have left the moment tears threatened to drop from your eyes in a public place, in the school library nonetheless, where many people knew him and you were supposed to maintain silence.

As flustered as he was, he still refused to leave you like that, fumbling through his pockets for something to help. Fortunately, he found a packet of tissue in his pocket and he offered it to you, relieved.

“Xiaojun, can you not do that?” You sniffled, pressing the tissue to your eyes and your leaky nose.

“Do what?” The gall! The audacity to sit there and look handsome and clueless and pretend like he didn’t know he was driving you mad. That was the reason that you couldn’t stand just being friends with him! Didn’t he get-

“That,” you said, gesturing to him vaguely. “The thing you do with your hair. And biting your lip. And turning your head so I’m forced to see that perfect, sharp jawline. And really just being in my presence.”

“Lovely to know I’m ruining your day,” he replied. He dropped his hand to his side and fished in his pocket for something, pulling out a clip and pinning his hair back so his fringe stopped flopping in his face.

You grinned half-heartedly at his response, happy with the dynamic you knew best.

“So, about that letter…”

“Don’t push your luck. We’ll… We could try,” you say. Before he can rejoice, you add, “No promises.”

“Trying’s good enough for me.”

[thysanniia]

What things are you currently/recently enjoying watching and/or reading?

ok so first of all you are my favourite human ever for asking this thank you I love you <3

BUT ANYWAY

As you may have gathered from a few of my recent posts, I'm really hyperfixated on the MonsterVerse right now! I've been concepting different rewrite ideas for it for years now, and the new Monarch show has just sent me deep, deep down the rabbit hole again. I have like so many Word documents relating to films, shows, timelines, stuff like that. Hopefully soon I'll actually sketch out some kaiju designs, that will be fun! But yeah, this hyperfixation has hooked me good, I don't think it's going away any time soon.

Aside from that though, my main media consumption has just been making my way through any yuri I can find lmfao. This has kinda been the case since autumn, I've watched various shows and also bought a couple mangas I'll read once I've finished my current book (more on that later). I've even gone into the realm of webcomics, which has somehow resulted in me building a super long list of super long webcomics I wanna read. Hopefully I can actually get through some of them lol. But yeah, overall just a lot of yuri, because I am hopelessly gay. I might actually make some threads on the ones I've watched/read.... hmmm....

The only other thing I feel I should mention is the book I'm reading, 'This Is How You Lose The Time War'. It's not very long but I'm still taking ages to get through it because I suck at reading. BUT!! holy shit it is absolutely fantastic, I first heard about it because someone tweeted about it and that went kinda viral, and holy shit they were not wrong this book is fantastic. I'll give the same advice: don't look up anything, don't even read the blurb, just get a copy of the book and read it and you will not be disappointed, it's one of the most unique and compelling pieces of literature I've ever read. And it's gay.

Anyway, that's the main stuff. There are a couple things on the side, I'm watching the Percy Jackson show although I'm a little behind on it (it's generally good I think?) and I recently watched through Chainsaw Man which is fantastic. Can't think of anything else besides those!

[monsterfloofs]

Oh, no no, I always happy to read through your long responses and ramblings. As I said I know how it feels when you’re excited that your brain buzzes with so many thoughts and ideas that are hard to just say one thing. Ironically I was worried if my original post was too, so I condensed it. I also wanted to mention that the Zelda game isn’t out yet it comes later this year but what’s so exciting is that this is the first mainline Zelda game with her as the main playable character. And it’s in a really cute chibi style that is going to be a very fun creative sandbox style game.

Hahaha! I see! Yeah, I am trying to get away from those worries and just embrace the let's excitedly talk about passions with others! And I wanna extend that to the folks who do reach out to me, if I can unabashedly ramble on here, the invitation is 100% open for others to ramble on here too!

I, for one, listening to people talk about their passions with so much enthisiasm, I may not always have much to say about it, it may not be my thing? BUT how can anyone not feel joy about someone talking about what they love? How can someone not share in that feeling?? At the very least, be content and happy that someone feels safe enough to just let themselves be giddy?

Coming from a household where, I never really felt like I could take up space like this? I am such a promoter of people talking about what makes them happy! We need more space for that! Skdjdjds ANYWAYS! Imma get off my soap box hahaha!

YES!! So that last message I really really wanted to know which game you were talking about- I have been... direly out of the nintendo gaming loop! So I was looking things up, and I saw some of the footage from this game! I can see why people are excited to play it!! = DDD Zelda finally has her own game whoohoo! (I was kinda hoping our main gal also got a weapon to fight with instead of making stuff fight for her, but ahhh! At least she has a game coming! I can be satisfied with that!!) It seems like it is going to have some strategy to it! = D

Since I went down the Nintendo rabbit hole, I also noticed that Princess Peach got her own game too recently! That really warms my heart! Finally the stereotypical "damsels in distress," are kicking butt on their own >:333 So proud of them!

I have been considering getting a Switch but 😵‍💫 it's so expensive... And that's just for the console! The games themselves are 60 usd a pop! I dunna, I was also thinking maybe I could try to save for a Steam Deck, since I do already play games on steam, but even that is super expensive, and I really don't feel like I am making enough to splurge on something so... aaaaah, what's the word. . . ? Fancy? Games and game systems feel way more like a luxury now! X//D I don't know if it's because everything feels more pricey, or I just don't have a job that can support that lifestyle. I haven't bought a new game system in years! And everytime I think about it, I usually stress about how much the system will cost and back out of making the jump EJDJDJDKS

[bubblewonderabyss]

When/if the tADC cast is shown in human form, I really hope they don't visually resemble their avatars, for a few reasons -The program forces them to forget their own names, clearly anonymity was a priority here -The avatars are clearly reflecting their personalities, not their physical bodies -It's such an overdone and frankly kind of lazy trope in the trapped-in-a-video-game genre, I'm tired of it

(Nothing against those who do draw them that way of course, it's just not my preference)

And since I hate complaining without offering an alternative, here's my (PROBABLY WILDLY INCORRECT) speculation on what they might have been like when they were human under the cut

(cw: self harm, animal death)

Pomni -Had long blonde hair which she wore down, she would have preferred it short but [insert loved one here] loved it, so long it was. Also doubled as a convenient curtain when she was outwardly freaking out -On the skinny side, flat as a board even, strong legs though -Well dressed in an understated way, she didn't like to stand out -Was really into gymnastics as a kid, moved onto jogging once she got older and busier -Ate a lot of neon colored tv dinners/poptarts/fast food as a kid, avoided it like the plague in her teen years and beyond because "it's gross" -Had a rabbit once, but it escaped and what was left of it was found in her back yard a week later, she never had the heart to get another pet after that -Part of a friend group, but didn't hang out with most of them individually -Watched American Idol religiously

Gangle -Chubby and really tall, yet always felt small, so her posture was really bad -Either lived with her parents or spent most of her time holed up in her apartment, didn't get much sunlight either way -Dressed modestly to cover up some self inflicted scars -Anime was not really part of the western cultural consciousness in the late 90's, most people assumed it was either just kid stuff or just porn, so she probably didn't have many friends outside of a few fellow anime fans -Very quiet and withdrawn but could talk for hours about her new favorite anime (and yes, she preferred subs to dubs) -Loved trying different kinds of snacks -Her keys had a shit ton of keychains and charms attached -Drew a lot and kept it all in a big binder

Zooble -Kinda short -Exceptionally good posture -Moved around a lot as a kid, their favorite place was an apartment one block off from a park where they met their best friend -Alt fashion sense (mostly hand me down clothes so they had to get creative anyway) with a preference for button up shirts -Socks MUST match, down to the brand -Mall crawler, but rarely bought anything -Bead collection -Read so many sci fi books

Kinger -Dad bod -Could see fine but kept his reading glasses in the front pocket of his (usually hawaiian, sometimes plaid) shirt at all times -Was something of a chess and checkers legend at his local library, the "I bet you can't beat that guy" guy. Would let his opponent win if they seemed like they were really stressing about it though -Big nature guy, went hiking or camping once every couple weeks at least -Had a pottery kiln in his garage -Met his wife at a movie theater and movies were the go-to date night ever since

Ragatha -Average proportions, other than being slightly 'blessed in the chest' -Her least favorite season was summer, because she couldn't wear her sweaters then -Her parents loved her but were on the strict side -Most of her disposable income went to her porcelain doll collection, which she hid from friends and family because "it's creepy" -Didn't realize wanting to kiss girls wasn't a universal experience for the longest time -Had a busy social life, was rarely home because she always had someone to see and somewhere to be -Dated around a lot but never settled down with anybody -Was big into fantasy stuff, especially the renaissance faire

Jax -Average proportions, like imagine a Normal Guy (non-hollywood version) he looked like that -Dyed his hair an unnatural color like green or pink -Struggled with an eating disorder, less because he hated how he looked (though he might have) and more to assert control in a life where he had very little -Wore band shirts of bands he didn't listen to as a little private joke. His actual music taste leaned more classical but he wouldn't tell a soul about that -Quite friendly and social, but couldn't maintain more than a couple close friendships at a time -Loved baseball -Watched every horror movie he could get his hands on

[nate-walsh]

super relatable

So, I'm super scared of people. And most things. I assume that's obvious?

See, that's part of the problem right there. In addition to just the general blind screaming terror when I'm around another person, I also have a huge blind spot about my own social energy

It's like – teeth. I used to have pretty crooked teeth (they're still kinda crooked), and I was very self-conscious about them. And so I started paying attention to everyone else's teeth, to see where I stacked up, and just how poorly I was ranked, anyway. [I still do this. Crest Whitestrips are realtively cheap and available, I'm just sayin'.]

But, like, it's kind of the same thing socially. I know I'm bad at this, so I've been studying up. I've read books, and I pay very close attention to people's subtleties – tone of voice, emphasis, body language, eye contact. But, like, it's studied. right? I actually have reasonably good social insight and intuition, I think – I can honestly probably give you some legit authentically legit good advice, either through harsh experience or decades of over-processing. Just not at all remotely as it relates to myself.

I just feel inherently repulsive – like, people can feel my anxiety and fear, and just kind of organically stay away, possibly even out of kindness. But also, like, I'm a lot of work, and what are you getting out of that? I think if you can look past my rat's nest of neuroses, I actually have a number of pretty good things about me. It's just – there are much much easier people to connect with. And I don't reveal what's special about me until at least like the 12th separate encounter.

But also, I could be wrong about all of this, is the problem. People say I'm fine socially and that I'm capable enough and loved by some at the very least. I hear them, but believing them is another story.

I actually think I'm very lovable. In preparation for my move back to the Bay Area, I bought this book – 21 Days To Fall In Love With Yourself – because, yeah, that's the type of person I am. But, like, I think I'm pretty OK already, as it turns out. I've got tons of shit, but ultimately, I like what I'm doing and think I'm a pretty good get. I just deeply truly believe that no one else could like it, and they're barely tolerating me.

And, well, after a hypnosis show back in Vegas, I kind of went down a rabbit hole that night into Manifestation Tik Tok. And, like, I don't believe in the woo-woo magical part of manifestation, but I think there is actually a simple rational logic to it: If your reasons and beliefs are aligned with your intentions, then your energy and actions kind of follow. If you're really really focused on falling in love, and you believe you deserve to fall in love, and you know what you want out of love, turns out love comes out the woodwork. Because you're just throwing yourself at it properly. But if there's any discrepancy or misalignment, it gets all fucked up. You want love, but really it's to fill some emptiness in you, and you'll take what you can get, and you just want validation, you will probably get stuck with some turds. I got stuck with some turds (but also some very great ones – both teams hopefully know who they are). Or when you're around people, you self-fulfill your prophecies, and you're dark and complainy and unpleasant to be around. And who the hell wants that.

I bought a magic rock recently. Yeah, exactly, that's how bad things have gotten. But, like, Instagram was pushing pretty hard on this one particular rock, across multiple weeks and instances, and anyway, boy, wouldn't it be great if your problems could just be solved by a rock? But anyway, it turns out it's an intention thing, too. You're supposed to think about the rock, and imagine it's reshaping you or bringing our your best qualities, and just in doing so, you start to move in that direction, you get positive feedback, you move more in that direction, etc. I see through your shit, magic rocks. But also, absolutely correct.

But, like, there's a little, hm, prayer is the wrong word – invocation? – that you're supposed to say multiple times per day to ~ activate ~ the rock. And I was noticing today that it says something about achieving your goals. And I was like, hey wait, what goals?

I don't have a lot of deep intent, it turns out. [Unless it's a crush, then I'm a fucking serial killer.] But mostly, I don't have a lot of wants. I don't want more things – frankly, the things I have are already way too much and intense and complex. If anything, I would like the absence of things. A little peace and quiet. Room to breathe. Not too much to process or be scared of. I guess that feels like anti-goals to me – you should want an abundance, not an absence.

[But, that being said, and we shouldn't should anyway, a super abundance is also acceptable. I take drugs and listen to devastating fuzzy guitars, because that's kind of what it feels like inside all of the time, and so, you know, at least it's something relatable?]

I don't know. I need to sit down and write some goals. Get the magic rock aimed the right way. I guess I mostly feel reactive – I have the one basic goal of survival (mostly), and I'm just trying to keep enough on top of shit to keep going. There's no room for want, it feels like. It feels like. But, like many of my feelings, it's probably not accurate to the rest of the reality.

So yeah – gonna write some goals. This weekend. This weekend.

Manic-depression is funny. You honestly get just the best of both worlds. I have so much energy for shit like this – I could write you a million billion unproofread paragraphs of rumination – but the muster for anything, like, tangible? Use a dating app, go exploring bars, watch a movie, go for a run, shower, unpack my shit? Nah, b. I'm too tired. Work is too much. I'm worn out by the move and Cat almost dying. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I just wish I could change my core feelings about things. Like, I've laid so much intellectual framework around the feelings, trying to manage and understand and compensate for them, but I wish I could change the core thing itself. I guess it's like any disability. Like, if I didn't have a leg, I'd be super focused on the lack of a leg and why don't I have one and how dare the universe and what can I do to make up for this. Or allergies. Or cancer. It's just like – this one feels like it should be in my control, is what's annoying. I can't control my cell mutation or a terrible car accident that happened. But it's my own damn brain. I should be in charge, damn it.

Anyway, I'm coming to the realization that, sure, yes, I've been trying. But it's been kind of bad trying, because I'm fighting against my fear and negativity and this invented perception that people think I'm a chore and a downer and too much and not enough. They haven't been authentic efforts, and people can feel that inauthenticity, and it's gross, and they stay away. I have to get right by myself, and what I really want, and why I really want it. And if there's fear, well, the fear is the same part of the whole rest of my team, good and bad. The same way I got blue eyes and a weird thing on my foot it looked ever grosser to remove. It's all on the team, and we've just gotta work with what we've got.

[This is called Mindfulness-Acceptance Therapy, and I was definitely taught about it by my therapist, and did a whole book about it, and explain it to others. But in the moment of crisis, my mind goes blank, and all the little tips and tricks go out the window. I totally forgot about this shit until now. Yeah! We're a team! Exactly!]

I kind of want to be like the guy in Memento, where just key bits of mental health reminders are tattooed all over my body. "Gotta love everything, even if it's going to be gone someday." "Gotta have experiences." "Kindness can overcome anxiety, if you remember to do it." I actually do have the one tattoo – it's a symbol reminding me to stay positive. But you forget to look at them after a while.

I need routines. I need to get back in the habit of certain things. Meditating. Running. Guitar. Eating. The only thing I pretty much absolutely consistently do everyday is Duolingo, because I don't want to let down Dúo the Owl. I need a Dúo for all the basic functions of my life.

OK, but this isn't rumination. [Which I would define as overthinking that doesn't go anywhere.] This is level-setting and problem-solving and goal-setting. I'm kind of recognizing where I've been of late, and why. And self-pity isn't moving the needle one goddamn bit. These are my feelings, these are my handicaps, this is the hand I've been dealt. Deal with it. Everyone else does. Just do the stuff. Not in spite of the feelings, but with them, as part of your package.

Fwoof. Have I mentioned how tired I am, though?

It feels like I'm trying so hard to just be a person, and I'm not even any good at it. And just, I wasn't built for this. But again, self-pity isn't helping.

I just – I don't think I'm a very strong person. Like, if you grew up in an abusive household, some people are a mess, and they repeat the pattern. But some people work in opposition to that energy. Or they see it as the gritty surface that shaped them into the cool person they are now. That's what I need to be doing. It's just – I don't want to.

Like, think about zombie movies. Everyone is fighting so hard to stay alive. And it's like, why? It's so much work, and it's scary, and there's so little good left in the world, what are you still going for? Basic biological impulse. Well, my biology is fucked, and it tells me to give up and give in all the time.

Like, if we talk about manifestation, if we really go to the heart of who I am, I am not super committed to this reality. So, like, how is anything ever going to align? OK, no wait, this is rumination.

And just – I can't talk about it with anyone too much, because I already talk about it too much, and I'm a downer and a drip and a discomfort. And, well, no, this isn't me gearing up to off myself or anything. I've committed myself to hanging on. But, like, I'm going off of other people's faith on that. When your gut is constantly telling you unhelpful things, you can't trust your guts. And so what? You have to trust other people, when so many of them are liars or deluded or uh shall-we-say strategic. I don't know. It's really an issue of love. I have to love the people I love, and I have to believe they love me, and I have to trust them when they say that I'm OK and I'm loved and life is worth it and dying before my time would be a waste and a devastation. I just wasn't raised very faithful.

It's not that everything's terrible. It's just a lot of it IS bad, and I can't help but notice. I'm bad at thinking around it or compartmentalizing or distracting. There are good things, and I try to be grateful for them, because that's supposed to help. It's just – a lot of work for the good things, and are they really that good that they're worth the effort?

Anyway, I'm fine. The random dice roll in my brain that is my daily mood just came up snake eyes today. Maybe tomorrow will be a lucky one. Maybe you can load the dice.

Well, I'm not editing this right now, that's for damn sure. Unless people somehow still be checkin' they RSS feeds, this will probably go unnoticed. I don't know. I can't write freely about things. But yes. I absolutely can. It doesn't have to be public. I just kind of want it to be.

[lilchibi-chan]

Hewwo! How r u doing??🧐 I would like to ask for a little something where the reader is easily distracted and goes off the path (chasing a butterfly, seeing a dog, etc...) and the boy doesn’t notice until later. 🥰🥺 The bois: Todoroki, Kirishima, and Shinso (BNHA/MHA) ✨✨

Aww I love this! This is so cute! I will try my best for you 🥺

Todoroki

It’s Friday evening and you are on your way home from UA because you wanted to go home for the weekend and Todoroki decides to go with you being the protective boyfriend he is.

It’s spring and the cherry blossoms have just bloomed. The path you’re walking is lined with cherry blossom trees. You stop to take in the soft pink petals, but Shouto doesn’t notice until he reaches the end of the path and sees that you’re not next to him.

He freaks out thinking someone might’ve taken you when he wasn’t watching or maybe you just went off to a convenience store or something. He decided to walk back up the path, asking any and everyone if they had seen you, showing them pictures of you, saying how tall you are, etc.

He finally makes it to where you were, hair sticking to his forehead since he basically ran the whole time.

You were standing under the trees, slowly spinning as the petals fell into your hands. You felt like you were in your own little world, like you were a fairy and you could stay in this moment forever.

You hadn’t noticed him standing there yet, but he was watching as you twirled beneath the flower petals, falling like snow around you. He took out his phone and started recording you and snapped a few pictures. You looked so beautiful to him in this moment and he wanted to capture if forever. The way the sun shone on your skin and your warm smile melted him and he realized just how much he loves you in that moment.

When you finally notice him standing there, you feel your cheeks heat up and you know instantly that you’re blushing.

He makes his way over to you and grabs your hand in his. He looks at them and smiles for a moment. He pulls you close to his chest and kisses you on your forehead.

“I love you...y/n”

You look up at him surprised because his words caught you off guard, but hearing them made you happy, so the as quick as the shock hit is as quick as it left and you just smiled from ear to ear.

You hug him and nuzzle your face into his chest.

“I love you too, Shouto”

You both walk up the path, this time he’s hold your hand and make your way to your house where dinner is already waiting.

Kirishima

It’s summer vacation and your family has decided to go to the beach house that has been in your family for decades. They tell you to invite Kirishima along and whoever else you wanted to come along since there was enough room. It was a private beach, so you basically had it to yourselves whenever your family did go there for whatever reason, whether it be a small gathering or just wanting to get away from the city for a little bit.

When you reach, everyone unpacks and you decide to head down to the beach with Mina, Yaoyorozu and Uraraka. Denki, Kirishima, Bakugou, Sero and Deku all meet you on the beach a little afterwards. You all swim for a while and play games, until your dad decides to barbecue. Once everything is taken off the grill, you all eat together. Your mom bought fireworks and sparklers for you all to end the night with and celebrate your first day on the beach.

After all the festivities are over, you all head inside to rest for the night, but you and your friends decided to have a mini sleep over in the living room and watch movies. You cuddled with Kirishima on the couch while the rest of your friends took the floor. You all end up falling asleep in the middle of the second movie that was put on. You wake up around 3:30 to the tv still being on. You get up to turn it off then realize you can’t fall back asleep. You decide to go out and take a walk along the beach to calm yourself to the sound of the waves. You notice that the waves are glowing due to the bioluminescent krill in the water and you become so entranced that you take a seat on the rocks to watch the beautiful sight before you.

Kiri wakes up an hour later and pops up when he realizes you’re not next to him anymore. He carefully gets up, so that he doesn’t hurt any of the sleeping people on the floor and makes his was upstairs to see if you decided to go up to your room. The thought made him sad, but he could understand if your bed was more comfortable than the couch. He opened the door quietly, as to not wake your parents and saw that your bed was untouched. He decided to make his way to the balcony on the second floor to think about where you could’ve gone. Something told him to use the telescope that was on the balcony and he searched for you along the beach. He finally saw that you were on the far end by the rocks, sitting on them. He made his way back down the stairs, again quietly, and made his way along the beach to get to you. He took a blanket with him, just in case you would be cold.

“Hey pebble,” he says with a soft smile, startling you a bit

“Hey,” you say with a soft smile back

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he says with laughter in his voice,“but you can just consider it a little bit of pay back since I woke up and you weren’t there.” He finished, taking a seat next to you.

“Sorry about that,” you say blushing

“Why are you sitting here anyways?” He asked curious

“Well, I can show you better than I can tell you,” you say picking up a flat rock, then skimming it across the water to reveal the plankton

“Woah, that’s so cool, pebble. I see why you stayed here so long,” he says smiling his big smile

“How long have I been out here,” you ask, kinda freaking out

“Little over an hour,” he says smiling

“We should probably head back before my parents wake up,” you say about to get up

“Wait,” he says stopping you,“five more minutes, then we can go back.”

You nod and he takes a seat next you and wrapping the blanket around both of your shoulders.

After the five extra minutes, you both head back to the beach house, cuddle on the couch and go back to sleep.

Shinso

Shinso and you are out for a picnic date that you had planned for a while. The weather is warm and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. You make it to forest/site you wanted to have the picnic and it’s even more perfect than you imagined. There’s the perfect canopy to sunlight ratio and you’re not too far from the river, causing there to be a comfortable coolness in the air. You set down the blanket and Shinso put some rocks on the corners, so that it wouldn’t lift up in the wind blew. You both start unpacking the basket and you realize you forgot the drinks in the car. You offer to run and go get it, but he protests.

“I’ll get it, kitten. You stay here, I’ll be right back,” he says leaving you there by yourself.

A couple of minutes pass and you start to hear rustling in the bushes. You were definitely a little frightened, but waited to see if anything would come out before you just to any conclusions or scared yourself by jumping to said conclusions.

Just then a bunny comes out and it’s limping. You slowly crawl over to it, as to not scare it.

“It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you cutie. I just wanna help.”

You continue to slowly crawl toward it, extending your hand so that it can get used to your scent. Once it finally puts its guard down, your able to pick it up. You figured it’s borough couldn’t be too far from where you were since it came this way. You decide to walk off, eyeing the ground for any holes.

When Shinso finally returns to your picnic area, he sees that you’re not there. He decides to call for you, but receives nothing. He decides to take the path you took, not knowing that it’s the way you went, but something inside him told him to go that way.

After a few minutes of walking, he decides to try calling for you again. The first time he receives nothing, causing worry to start building. He walks up some more and tries again.

“Y/N!!”

“Over here!”

He walkruns over to the direction he heard your voice come from.

“Shh,” you say, so that he wouldn’t startle the rabbit in your arms. He makes his way over to you slower. You tell him what happened and he helps you find the bunny’s home.

You finally find the borough at the bottom of a tree. You decide it might be best to back away and let the bunny hop in on its own. You crouch down and Shinso follows. You set the bunny on the ground and it’s hesitant to head home.

“Go ahead, it’s okay,” you say encouraging it

The bunny takes a couple hops before fully going for it and going home. You decide to capture this moment by snapping a couple of pictures. While you’re busy doing that, Shinso just admires you and smiles.

“Ready,” you say smiling and catching him off guard

“Y-yeah, lets go,” he says blushing

You both make it back to your picnic and enjoy the food and snacks that were packed.

All of a sudden it starts to rain. You both hurriedly pack everything and try to find shelter somewhere.

You come across a shed and decide to knock in the door. An older woman opens the door.

“Hello ma’am, is it okay if we stay here. It’s just started raining out of nowhere and we don’t have an umbrella,” you say nicely and slightly apologetic

“Of course dears. Come in.”

You and Shinso do as she says and she lights a fire for you both to sit by. She also supplies you with a blanket and leaves to make tea for you both. Shinso wraps the blanket around both of you and he can see that you are shivering a little, so he moves closer to you, causing you to blush.

“Kitty,” he says, grabbing your attention

“Yes”

“I’m sorry the picnic got ruined,” he says apologetic

“It didn’t get ruined,” you say with laughter in your voice,“this was the best day ever.”

“R-really,” he asks expectantly

“Yes, we helped a bunny find its way home and we did still get to enjoy the picnic, it’s just got cut short and that’s okay, cause I got to spend the whole day with you.”

“This is why I love you, kitty. Your so good and optimistic. You see the great in every situation. I wish I could do that more. You’re so perfect and I-I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me and you’re perfect too. Maybe not perfect to you, but perfect to me and that’s the most important thing,” you say smiling

He pulls you in and kisses you softly and full of love.

The rain finally clears and you thank the woman for her hospitality. Shinso drives you to your house and before you exit he grabs your hand and kisses it. Then he pulls you in and kisses your lips. He watches you enter your house and then drives off.

I hope you enjoyed. Thank you again for submitting and keeping my asks active. You always give me something new and I really appreciate you letting my imagination run wild (more than it already does). 💖🥺

[alch3mic]

in between. (drabble series)

chapter five (comfort.)

cheshire!sans x gender neutral reader. 3k+ word count.

please be advised for themes of addiction, drugs, alcohol, self deprecating thoughts and apathetic feelings.

* it’s time for our dear underlust sans, cheshire, to have his turn! if you’d like to check out more about our resident catboy, feel free to check out his tag here on my tumblr!  thank you and i hope you enjoy!

Don't get attached.

That seems like a pretty simple motto to live by, huh?

Well that's because.... it was.

In a world that cared little for anything beyond their momentary value, it was easy to not get attached. Everything changed day by day in this fast paced life. There was always a new video to look at, or a new phone to buy. Always a new trend to jump on or a new topic to talk about. You didn't form attachments to those things, you just used them to pad out your day so you didn't have to think about your meaningless existence, and then you were done with it.

You got rid of it.

Threw it out.

Forgot about it.

It no longer mattered because it no longer entertained you. 

There was always something newer and shinier to look at just around the corner anyways, so.. why would you think twice about it?

Things were just.. easier.. when you didn't get attached...

You.. couldn't feel the pain of being let go.. if there was nothing holding you there in the first place.

.....

A shame he had to learn that the hard way, but that was life.

This world treated it's people like a commodity, always being bought and sold for their looks, money or talents.

Anything else was just worthless.

Filler. 

Like packing peanuts that belonged in the garbage after you stripped a box of its goods.

Nobody cared how you felt.

Your emotions didn't matter in the slightest.

All that really mattered is that you played your part.

You spoke your empty words.

You did your flashy dance.

..You sold your soul.

..And then.. you'd collect your earnings and leave so you could go and buy the newest phone model you had your eye on.

.....

Emotions were.. well.. 

...Worthless.

...Just like they always were..

Just like they had been.. back in his own Underground.

Which is why, on that day.. 

When that realization set into Sans' bones that the surface really was no different..

That it didn't matter what he did..

Or how he felt..

...He swore to himself...

That he'd never get attached.

......

..And that's exactly why...

He could never forgive you.

Because in a world that was ever changing.. 

Day by day...

And always moving forward... 

..How dare you stay the same.

Ah.. dammit!

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

It just wasn't fair..!

Just what the hell was wrong with you anyways?

He went to all that stupid trouble to close all those damn doors! 

He boarded up every stupid window and stuffed everything shut as tightly as he could! 

He gathered up all those loose emotions, tied them with a lock and a chain, and then threw them into the basement to never see the damn light of day again!

He even threw away the damn key to it all  and yet...!

..And yet...

Somehow.. someway.. you still..

Weaseled your way right into his soul.

....

It just wasn't fair.

...He hated it.

..Or.. rather.. himself.

Because despite the fact that you were the one who did this, even after his multiple attempts to shove you away.... he could never say he actually hated you.

....

Maybe jokingly but..

No.. he could never actually hate you..

Despite how hard he tried.

  You were just so damn.. persistent.

Not even in the annoying way! You were just..! Always there!

Really..

How dare you.. become someone that meant something to him!

How dare become a pillar of support for him to lean on!

How dare you open your arms to him, offering your gentle words and affirmations to him like he deserved them or something, and letting yourself become such a comfort that he actually sought you out now to help mend these pieces of his broken soul.

....

H-how dare you..

...Always be there for him.

Time and time again you were.. just..! 

There!

You were always there!

Why were you always there!?

Christ, it's like you really had nothing better to do!

What, was he just your entertainment!?

A cute little show!?

Did you just want a front row seat to how much of a mess he really was because you were that bored!? Is that why you were always there!? Is that why you always picked up the phone when he called, no matter the starsdamned hour of the day? Is that why you were always there... no matter how far it was..? ..Rain or shine.. snow, hail or even when the damn wind was blowing nearly everything off its feet you were..

You were.. always..

....

There.

And that was just so damn unforgivable.

.....

There were times when he wished to himself.. that you had always been there.

...Way before.. he became like this.

Maybe he wouldn't have been such a mess if he had you in the first place but..

Life just wasn't fair, now was it?

He wanted to be angry about it still.

To blame you.

But he couldn't.

Really all he had to blame was himself.

He.. betrayed his own promise.

He had sworn to himself on that day that he'd never get attached.. and yet here he was.. more dependent upon you than he had been for anyone else in his life.

..Even to his own brother.. who had really seen him at some real bad lows.

But you..

You saw him at rock bottom.. and yet..

...You were still here...

.....

Really, you were by all accounts, an anomaly. 

An outlier. 

Someone who shouldn't be counted with the rest, because unlike the usual scum of this city.. you were...

Well you certainly weren't a ray of sunshine, that's for sure.

A little stoic and kinda stone faced, which probably worked to your benefit because people seemed to shy away from asking things of you, but..

You were.. different.

Despite the fact that you grew up here in Ebott, a vile city filled to the brim with criminals and thieves who ate people up for breakfast and then spat them out before lunch.. you.. were.. still you.

Calm. 

Insightful.

...Caring.. 

..And... dependable.

....

...And how...

How was he not supposed to get attached to you?

..When you were always there for him..

Like now, as you held him steadily in your arms while he so desperately clung on to you as if you'd run away if he let you go. Of course a part of him was always scared you would because.. why wouldn't you? 

What could someone like you possibly see in someone like him..?

Someone.. shallow and.. terrible with a whole novel's worth of issues.

Not at all good at comforting people. 

Fickle and who practically ran at the first signs of trouble.

If he were you..

Well.. he would've given up on himself a long time ago.

..So.. why did you.. stay..?

.....

He was too scared to ask that question.

Too scared of the answer that may come from your lips, even though those words might just save him...

..Because he was absolutely certain that they'd actually just be the final nail that turns him to dust..

So he pushed the thought far from his mind to the back to die with the rest of his unnecessary feelings. Not that it was hard really, Sans' mind was a bloody fucking mess, clouded by a horrid mixture of alcohol and drugs that had him feeling on top of the world just a measly few hours ago.

Stars.. it really was easy to get lost in that madness wasn't it?

..Into the pleasure and fun that came at the end of a bottle, or at the end of another hit. 

In a way.... it was just like magic.

In an instant, all those troubles that clouded your mind would seem so far away...  

For a while you'd be unburdened by responsibility or society. 

You'd let go of the constraints holding you back, you'd let loose and finally just be free. 

Your mind would let go of it's troubling thoughts..

Of things... and... 

..People...

......

You'd have fun without stress. 

You'd lose yourself to the motions

To movements. 

To the descent.

..To the fall.

Down.

Down.

Down.

Down the rabbit hole you'd go.

....

But with every fall.

Came a landing.

....

Right to the very bottom... and you'd suffer the consequences of your descent.

Now that once hypnotic neon that drew him into this club seemed sickening to his eyesockets, and the smell of smoke mixed with sweat and grease made him want to hurl. He didn't want to hear anymore words spoken by anyone else, much less those so called 'friends' who invited him here in the first place. Their words had long faded away to numbing static in the background now that the intense music was gone. He was sick of their empty flattery and jealous praises anyways, all trying to catch his attention so they could use him as a footstool to higher society. The only reason they invited him here was to get some damn clout for themselves and he was lonely enough to accept the offer because...

For once, you weren't there.

.....

Well you were technically there, because you always told him to call if he ever needed you, you just weren't like... there there!

..And he was feeling sad and...!

You weren't.. well-!

It's just-! He.. just-!

....

He didn't want to...

.....

Ugh.

It didn't matter. 

He was just tired of it now. Tired of those damn pieces of trash..

They deserved to sit in the dumpster where they belong, but he was too fucked up to put them there so instead he just let it become background noise.

He wanted nothing more than to stay right here, in the only place he really felt at ease.

..With you.

So he turned his head away from it all and breathed in deep, a familiar scent washing away the muck that clung to the edges of his mind. It was fresh and a bit misty, like the scent of rain just before it fell with just a small hint of earthiness, and it brought him such a sense of..

..Comfort.

Just... like it always did.

Just like you always did, whenever you were around.

It made him clutch on to you all the tighter as he buried his head further into your shoulder, wanting to be lost in the mellow scents of your coat and the steady rhythmic beating of your heart as you spoke softly to someone else.  

He was just.. 

Tired.

Tired of this, and tired of that.

Really he was tired of everything and just wanted to.. go..

"...home," he slurred, clearly interrupting your conversation with someone but not having the slightest care in the world.

His skull could hardly make sense of what was being said anyways, still washed up in the dizzying effects of alcohol and.. whatever else he took, but he really didn't care.

He wanted to go home.

That's why he had messaged you in the first place.

So you could come pick him up, yet again, and take him back home.

At least.. he hoped that's why you were here.

Who knows, maybe you'd finally come to your senses and would just dunk him in the trash can where he belonged.

"We're heading out in just a second, alright?" you said gently, your words cutting clear through his own thoughts.

.....

He barely turned his head to peek at you, catching the vague shape of your face through the fluorescent neon.

Funny.. how just your tone settled his troubled mind, almost making him feel silly for thinking you'd abandon him. Even if he didn't understand why in the slightest, you clearly cared for him. It came through in the way you spoke, and in the way you held on to him, like he was something precious and worth keeping.

...He just really didn't get it..

So he didn't think about it, instead just squeezing his eyesockets and letting out.. a noise in response. 

..Really it was more like a painful, almost guttural groan, but he didn't want to acknowledge how unattractive it sounded, so a noise it was. 

Thankfully it was enough.

"Just hang tight."

And then you spoke again, but not to him, so he let your voice fall to the side too, the gentle rumblings steadying him as he buried his face back to his usual spot.

For right here, in the small space between your neck and your shoulder was his own personal Wonderland. It was the same place his skull always went, whenever you two were close. The place he buried his face when he cried, or where he turned his head away to escape from it all. He loved to feel the pleasant heat of your skin against his cheek, and let those soft and subtle scents wash over him once more.

He really could just.. get lost in it.

He'd stay there forever, if you'd let him.

And that's exactly why he could never forgive you.

Because.. you did.

Time and time again you gave him that place all to himself, without question or complaint.

You let him come undone in so many ways in that small space, that house he had built for himself and boarded up.. no longer felt like home.

..And the feelings that he had locked away tight..

They were always so close to just.. coming out.

They threatened to spill from his mouth and dirty your jacket with their sullied words.

His admiration.

His respect.

His... love... for you.. 

..And all that you've done.

They danced tantalizingly on the end of his tongue, sometimes escaping in the friendly ‘I love you’s you both shared, or passed through his fingertips when your hands gently brushed, sending shocks to his soul. They seeped into almost every action and he..

Well..

A part of him felt like he was going to just go crazy over it..!

Or maybe.. he always had...

But for every moment he stayed in your presence it lingered..

And it swished and swirled... bubbling at the surface and just threatening to...

Break.. loose..! 

"You doing okay?"

No.

No, he really wasn't doing okay.

Really he wasn't.

The words.. they were...

Slipping...

No...

He was...!

..Going to..!

"....i think i'm going to throw up."

"...Ah."

......

He probably would've been angrier if that wasn't the truth.

The excess magic bubbling in his soul was threatening to rush out thanks to the alcohol, and he certainly didn't want that spilling out of his ribcage so the only other option was out from where it came.

"Can you hold it?"

Ya know, normally that kind of question might've been seen as insensitive given the circumstance, but you very well knew Sans hated throwing up in public areas because it was... well kinda gross.

"..yeah.."

"Then let's go home."

And that was it. 

You looked back to whomever you were speaking to and said your goodbyes before turning and heading out of the club with him in your arms while he tried to cling to you like a koala.

The awful neon was fading away along with the horrid smells, leaving him in just the gentle presence of you..

At least until you opened the door to the outside world the city lights and smells hit him like a fucking truck. He cringed, for even in the late hour the lights were in full shine and cars honked aggressively at each other in the streets. It was overwhelming and only made him retreat farther into arms, trying to escape from it.

Oh great, here comes the nausea again.

He groaned and you thankfully put a bit more pep in your step as you headed into the musky night air, finally reaching your car after what felt like a small eternity.

He had felt the keys already in your hand when you picked him up, and now you carefully tried to unlock the car door while maintaining your hold. It was surely a fairly easy task, considering the two of you had been in this exact position so many times before, and it wasn't long before you opened the door and tried to place him into the passenger seat.

"...You know you gotta let go so we can go home."

".....no."

He could feel your breathy laugh brush past his skull and neck, nearly making him tremble, but he still held on tight.

Sans just didn't want to let you go.

"..Please?"

.........

He.. reluctantly released his grasp, slowly sliding into the seat as he already began missing your warmth. His eyes automatically slipped shut, feeling more relaxed in the familiar space of your car. The passenger side seat was still just how he left it, tilted back just enough so he could nap comfortably.

"Just a sec."

"...mmmhh."

At least it was a more attractive sound this time.

Then he waited.. for what felt like another small eternity, almost tempted to brave the bright world to look at you before he was joined by a pleasant warmth, and the soft scents of rain and earth.

You laid your jacket on him, and he quickly hugged on to it while you busied yourself with buckling him in. Another easy task, as he heard the click of the seatbelt in place, and felt your presence leave him once more. He barely cracking his eyesockets open to catch your gaze, and for the briefest of moments he was greeted by your smile

"Was it fun?"

"...no.."

You let out a snort, shaking your head at his bluntness before standing up closing the door.

One last small eternity later and you opened up the driver side door, seating yourself before buckling yourself in.

"If I remember correctly you didn't have fun the last time you went out with her either, so why go?" you asked, turning the key and starting your car.

There was no judgement in your tone, more like a genuine curiosity. Surely it must've seemed dumb to keep torturing yourself in the presence of people you didn't like.. but..

"i'unno..." he muttered.

He was lonely.

"..jus didn' have anythin' else...since you were gone.."

There was a small pause as he watched your brows furrow, but you kept your gaze ahead as you pulled out of the parking lot and into the busy streets of Ebott.

"Well I did invite you," you reminded him  and he let a small huff.

"i didn' wanna... intrude.. on your.. family... whatever."

"You know my mom wouldn't mind."

"...i know.."

Urgh.

Darn that woman for being almost as equally likeable as you were.

Really.. at first he could hardly believe the two of you were related with how bright and cheerful your mother was compared to your rather indifferent demeanor, but you both had that same tenderness that shone through in the way you cared for people.

...She always made him feel so welcome anytime he came around.

Like family..

....

And yet... 

He didn't want to sully such a happy image with someone like himself.

So instead of joining you for an evening of board games and home cooked meals with your mom, he filled his meaningless life with people who were just as meaningless. He stuffed that empty skull of his with hollow praises, and anything that'd take these vile feelings away.

He didn't deserve this.

He didn't deserve.. you.

He deserved to be used up.

Thrown out.

And forgotten.

..Just like the rest of the people like him..

So... why did you refuse to let him go?

....

Once again he was too scared to ask.

Too scared of the answer he might receive, even if there was a possibility that it could save him. He just wanted to keep holding onto this. On to you, in hopes that you'd still just always be there for him.

Just like.. you always were.

....

He let out another huff, feeling those words threatening to spill forth again as he clutched on to your jacket. His hand wandered over to the same place it always did when he felt like shit but couldn't say it, to the middle console where it waited patiently.

His patience was rewarded, one small eternity later, when he felt your hand gently settle over his.

There was nothing more he could do to keep the words from spilling forth.

"i love you..."

And he meant it, with every fiber of his soul.

"I love you too Sans."

..Not in the same way, he knew, but...

This was still just enough.

Enough to keep him here.

Enough to keep him going, with the hope that maybe some day.. you would really love him too, in the same ways that he loved you.

[tipsydipsydo]

Happy Easter! 🐇 [M]

Topic: You're wearing a sexy bunny costume for them on Easter Sunday!

Gender of the Reader: female

(This Scenario also has a male version!)

Word Count: ca. 500-600 words for each member

Genre: a bit Fluff; most Smut!

Warnings: Dirty Language and Dirty Talk; Petnames; Costume-Play; Pet-Play; Sex Toys; Mastubation; Kitchen-Sex; Teasing, Edging and Overstimulation; Praising; Daddy-Kink; soft Dom-/Sub-Themes; soft BDSM-Themes; Handcuffs; little bit exhibitionism; "public sex" (Sex in Garden); Breeding-/Impregnation Kink; Breeding-Dirty Talk; Mentions of unprotected Sex (please stay safe in reality, always!)

A/N: Happy Easter my Sweeties!!🐰💕

I hope you'll had/still have a great Sunday and got a lot of good food and Sweets!

I wanted to be a little Easter Bunny for you too and wrote a little smutty special! I hope y'all like it!

[Links]

My Masterlist for your requests!

My official Masterlist!

「© tipsydipsydo」

These following scenarios are my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

Jin

You hum dreamingly to the music, that comes out of the radio behind you and swaying rhythmically your hips to the melody. While Jin is in the shower, you decided to set the dining table and cooking the eggs for the Easter breakfast.

Jin is usually the one who wakes up earlier on Sunday mornings and makes breakfast for you. You already tried your best to be a "better" girlfriend and to return the favor of a ready breakfast more often.

But you have to admit that you just love it to sleep in and you have the habit of pressing the snooze button way too often. Up to the point that the alarm clock didn't ring anymore. Maybe that's also the reason why the other days of the weeks are always a drama for you. To 95% you oversleep and only have around 10 minutes left to get ready for work and still catch your metro.

Today is Easter Sunday and as by a miracle you managed to get up earlier than Jin, to shower without him noticing and dress up in your new bought lingerie and recently ordered headband with bunny ears.

The last weeks were super stressful for Jin and there wasn't much time or motivation left for intimacy. That's why you thought Jin deserves a nice view right in the morning as a little Easter gift. Especially when you know that one of his soft spots are you in white, innocent looking lingerie...

An exited smile spreads on your lips as you hear nearing footsteps and a small gasps behind you. Seems like your plan worked out pretty well! You're about to turn around and to smile cheekily at him but there is someone, who is more than eager to get his seductive Easter gift himself.

"Is this here your way to wish me 'Happy Easter', Babygirl? You're the cutest and sexiest Easter Bunny I've ever seen...", say Jin with a breathy voice into your ear and sucks on exactly that spot under your ear that makes your legs weak in no time.

"Y-Yeah, I think so... I-I just wanted to surprise you and treat my Darling with a little gift after such stressful weeks...", you whimper and bite on your lower lip when you feel his hardening cock against your buttcheeks.

"Oh yes, Baby~ I like your little surprise really, really much! Right now, I would prefer to bend you over the kitchen counter and make you feel really good instead of eating breakfast... what do you think?"

"I hoped you would say that... because the eggs aren't ready now and need ten more minutes anyway~"

You hear an amused chuckle from behind and squirm in anticipation when Jin bend you over the counter.

"Hm, has someone here forgot to let the eggs boil right on time? How good that we know, how to use this time properly...", teases Jin and push the fabric of your lace panties out of the way.

Yoongi

You hoped, no you actually thought that Yoongi would finally take some time off for you when it's a freaking official and national holiday for everyone! But you should've known your boyfriend better.

When he "can't" get into the studio to work on his tracks without being super rude with this action, then he would take his work simply at home. Of course you understand when he has to finish a new track because he's in the flow.

But when one track is mostly finished, it leads to ideas for a new song that he has to write down in his notes. Things like this are going on and on with it.

It's damn Easter Sunday and he had left you in your shared bed at seven a.m. in the early morning to "quickly finish this one track before breakfast".

Well, it's 11:30 a.m. now and you two ate breakfast two hours ago. It's an understatement that you're frustrated. You're pretty pissed off.

Officially you wanted to be the one who got up earlier this morning because of the little Easter surprise you planned for Yoongi. You ordered cute Bunny ears a week ago and a matching set of black lace lingerie. Okay, with panties that didn't really exist, just a bit lace covers your vulva. When you tried your outfit on, it actually reminded you of a playbunny outfit.

Yoongi don't want to admit it but thanks to Namjoon you know, that your boyfriend has a little big things for sexy bunny costumes...

Planned was to seduce Yoongi with being a sexy, naughty bunny in the morning so he has to take care of his bunny girl, maybe with a hot round of sex before breakfast.

Well, it seems like you had to take care of your needs by yourself when it seems like that you're so uninteresting for your boyfriend!

Provocatively clickling with you black stilettos, you stalk into the living room to the dining table where he sits. You place yourself next to him, directly onto the table and watch him a few seconds. He still didn't give you one single look. 

You growl frustrated and turn your eyes away from you pretty annoying boyfriend, spreading your thighs and grab that pink rabbit vibrator you brought into the living room as well. Only the sound of the vibrations seems to be so irritating that Yoongi is willing to give your sight a glance. 

A satisfied smile spread on your lips when you hear Yoongi choke and then coughing, pulling your pussy lips apart to give him an even better view on your drenched and so needy pussy. He clears his throat before he talked to you in a raspy voice.

"Can you explain this here to me? What's that for a bratty behaviour, hm? Desturbing me purposely in my work. Looks like, my little bunny a bit attention-seeking and desperate to get her pussy hole stuffed at Easter time? Well, I think I could satisfy these primal bunny needs definitely better than this shitty vibrator, don't you think?", he growls and smirk cockily at you when he get up from his chair and comes between your legs.

He just need a second to pull his sweatpants down, throwing the vibrator through the whole room and stuffing your needy hole with his own cock.

Namjoon

It couldn't have been better timed when Namjoon realizes that he had forgotten some important papers, that are supposed to be read at signed over the Easter Holidays, in his studio. So when he head out of the apartement to his studio, you use the twenty minutes of being alone in the apartement to set and dress yourself up. 

Two weeks ago you went to the sex-store of your trust which has a big, separated floor just with BDSM accessoires to buy yourself a sexy bunny outfit. It's the store where you two get most of your toys and utensils for your play sessions.

Because it's Easter, you planned a sexy surprise for your darling by yourself. Maybe it'll be not the way how Joonie usually like it... but you think, he should try new things too~

You're leaning against the bedroom doorframe, when the apartement door opens again. A playful, dirty smirk forms on your boyfriend's lips in the moment he realize your presence in the hallway. He put his papers without a second thought on the shoe cabinet and drops his jacket carelessly on the floor next to the wardrobe before he makes his way to you.

"I apprechiate your outfit, my sweet little bunny~ But to be honest, I'd like it a little bit more when it would be black lace instead of black leather. For being my cute whiny Sub, you look a little too much like a Bunny Dominatrix in this outfit...", chuckles Namjoon with his deep voice. 

His lips are searching for yours when he guides you with your back to your shared kingsize bed. The kiss is dominant, in a kinda leading behaviour. It's the type of a kiss you usually like, a kiss that makes you whiny and needy for him, but not today. Today you'll turn the whole thing around!

You're already on the bed, Namjoon above is you and you're literally waiting for the command that usually follow in such a session. But you make sure it wouldn't come tonight. Tonight you'll be the one who gives commands to Namjoon and makes him beg.

In a moment where Namjoon is distracted, you take your chance and turn your two bodies in a quick move around. Now you're the one who's sitting on his hips and tie your boyfriend's wrist with leather cuffs, that you hidden under the pillows, to the headboard. Just alone Namjoon's confused and disbelieving facial expression was the whole thing absolutely worth it!

"What the fu-"

"Shh, Namjoon. Watch your mouth and behave! When you're a good boy for me today, I'll not tease you soo much and maybe, when you're a really good boy for me, maybe I'd let your pretty cock cum in my pussy. When you're a bratty boy, you won't cum in any way today and I'm would ruin you the way you always ruin me. I want to see you all whiny, sobbing and begging, my dear Darling~", you wisper devilishly in his ear.

Hoseok

You promised Hobi to bake his favourite cake for coffee-time on Easter Sunday. But what you didn't expect, that you would be almost naked while baking! You wear nothing beside this white frilly vintage apron, these bunny ears on your head, the pink lacey string-ouvert (that literally covers nothing!) and this damn remote controlled rabbit-bullet between your legs.

While you're seriously struggling to concentrate properly on the instructions of the recipe, Hobi seems like to has the best time in his life. He's sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen at the dining table and obviously enjoy the sight you give him with your barely covered body.

To see your legs trembling and to hear you whine even more whenever he turns the vibration of the bullet on a higher setting, satisfy this little sadistic devil in him the most. Especially when you're so worked up that your sweet pussy is literally dripping wet, smearing your juices all over the insides of your tighs and little pearls of arousal falling down on the kitchen tiles.

Yeah, you're so turned on it's driving you insane, but it's still not enough to cum. This damn bastard, that you call your boyfriend, knows way to well when you're at the edge to cum and turns the vibration immediately down. Always with the explaination 'to give you the chance again to focus better onto the baking process'. 

God, sometimes you think you really start to hate him but deep, deep down you know, that you love his teasing as much he does.

The worst thing about this damn vibrator is that he has these bunny ears. The bullet doesn't just stimulates your g-spot, no. That would be too simple for Hobi. It also torture your clit too, when the tips of the ears rubbing sideways along your clit!

"Baby, I think you have to work a little bit faster when we plan to eat the cake at 15:30 p.m., we need to still bake it and then it has to cool down...", said Hobi in a fake concerned voice. You know very well that he just want to rush you, with the goal that you'll mess the cake up. When this happens he has a good reason to punish you even more~

You shoot him death glares in the moment you're about sprinkle a pinch of salt for taste into the dough. Well... it's unfortunately more than a pinch of salt. A lot more than that.

While you curse about your mistake and the fact that the whole dough is messed up now, Hobi sighs dramatically and stands up.

"Hm, my dear Lady? Do you know that you ruined the whole cake with your unconcentrated behaviour? That's means I'll not get only one piece of cake today and with it not my Easter gift. But you promised me that! How you'll make up for that, hm? I think that just means that I have to punish you."

"Hobi, it's not my fucking fault that I-"

"Honey, watch your mouth. Do you want to blame Daddy for your inadequate discipline? Well then, Daddy has to work with his little Girl on her discipline, right?"

With these words he takes you to the bedroom and make sure you'll be a lot more disciplined after his teaching lesson.

Jimin

When Jimin told you back in the middle of March that he'll went in a diet, you got immediatley suspicious and all alarm bells rings in your head. He promised you that's he just want to make a sugar diet over the next few weeks and with it, over the Easter Holidays, so he couldn't stuff himself full with too many sweets again during easter.

You talked a lot with your boyfriend about it, promised you that he just don't want to eat too much chocolate but beside this, that he'll keep up with his normal eating habits. But now only without a dessert after Dinner and controlling his snacking a bit more. Even the rest of the members had to promise to you that they'll make sure that Jiminie will continue to eat his meals properly.

After the first two weeks you relaxed more and more, realized that he's only on this diet to advoid products with a lot of sugar in it. To make it easier for him and to enjoy the advantages of a sugar diet too, you joined him in his plans.

But that also means to ignore all these delicious sweets for easter in the supermarket. When you two went grocery shopping last week, Jimin shooted death glares to all these chocolate bunnies that tried to seduce him with their cute wrapping foil.

That's why you planned a little Easter surprise for him on Sunday so at least he'll not start to hate Easter completely.

After you two got back from your Brunch (where the restaurant service just wanted to make a nice gesture and placed a tiny chocolate candy in the shape of an easter egg on your seat, frustrated Jiminie only even more), you said to your Darling that you want to freshen yourself up quickly and then join him on the couch.

You stepped out of the bathroom in gorgeous pastel pink high heels, a matching set of lingerie and a metal hairband in the shape of bunny ears on the top of your head. The simple accessoire was decorated with cute flowers, which makes your sexy-cute appearance perfect.

When Jimin hear the clicking sound of your heels, he turns around to you confused until an expression of complete disbelief manifests in his face.

"...because you're on diet and the fact that you can't even eat one tiny chocolate easter bunny, I thought you should be able to-"

"...I should be able to eat at least a bunny out, right?", interrupt you Jimin when he comes to you with dark lustful eyes and a really hungry smirk on his lips.

"...Y-Yes...", you answer him breathlessly as he push you roughly against the wall and makes you drown in his passionate kiss.

"You're always my favourite treat of sweet and you know that, Baby.", growls Jimin into your ear when he directs you backwards to the bedroom.

Taehyung

You bite your lower lips hesitantly as you stare through the vitreous living room door into the big garden of Taehyung's and your shared apartement. Your actual plan was to hide some of the Easter Sweets for Taehyung in the house and in the garden as well. 

The idea itself is not bad or problematic at all. Just the fact that you're already dressed in the lingerie, that you bought extra for the sexy surprise you've prepared for Tae, is the actual problem. Maybe also the fact that your neighbours are an elderly couple with way too much time and their intense passion to watch the neighbourhood like hunting dogs. 

Especially when the dear old Madame notices something "very interesting", "very unusual" or "very suspicious" she just has to gossip with her dear Ladies on their weekly tea-parties about it.

And as we all know, old people don't know the term "sleep in", they're always already awake at six or seven a.m.

But then Taehyung's word cames back into your mind.

"Let them talk when they don't have a better Hobby than this."

With exactly these words in your head you open the terrace door and step in nothing more than your grey lingerie, your bunny ears and flip flops on your feet into the cool morning air.

Fuck it, let them gossip about whatever god knows!

It's still early in the morning, around 08:30 a.m., that's why every breeze is still a little chilly and you try your best to hide everything in the shortest time possible. You didn't want anything more than finally run inside into the warm living room!

You're so immersed into your hiding project that you don't recognize that someone is coming up behind you.

"Hm? Who do we have here? Did I disturb the Easter Bunny at his work? ...and I didn't know until now that Easter Bunnies are dressed so sexy~", you hear Taehyung's deep voice chuckling.

You gasp startled for breath, instinctively you want to cover your body with your arms and hands. Your Boyfriend starts laughing softly and pulling you into his arms to his warm chest. Automatically you're relaxing again when you're sure that only Tae saw you in this outfit here in the garden. Beside that you also appreciate the warmth of his body really much.

"I didn't know that my usually so reserved girl will become so bold on Easter Sunday and start to run around as a damn sexy bunny in the garden, dressed with nothing more than bunny ears and lacey transparent lingerie~", tease Taehyung with his typical boxy grin.

You're about to open your mouth to explain this unordinary situation but in that moment Tae already press a hungry kiss onto your own lips.

He guides you back the the terrace and pulls, without breaking the kiss, the cover of the garden couch down. Then he sit on the soft but still cool cushions down and placing you onto his lap, pulling you into a new heated kiss. The hard outline of his cock in his pyjama pants against your own damp center promise you, what thing he's planning to so with you. In your garden, on Easter Sunday and at fucking 08:45 a.m?!

"Tae, I don't know if-"

"Hey Baby... you're the one who started this here, sprinting around in our garden just wearing lingerie and bunny ears! I think, we should give our dear neighbours something really naughty but also really good to gossip about, right?", answers Tae your concerns with a smug smirk on his lips and is about to pull his pants down.

God, this Boy just knows how to push your limits in the right way!

Jungkook

Jungkook can't imagine someone who could better fit to him than you. Your personality is amazing, you two share a lot of interests and hobbies and you're just so dirty minded and kinky behind closed bedroom doors like Kookie himself.

But he has to admit that there is something he would like to do but doesn't dare to mention it to you. You've made "not so good" experiences with it in your former relationship.

Jungkooks likes it to have Sex without a condom, likes the feeling of shooting his load right into you, marking your body with his cum. But well, the bastard of your ex-boyfriend really forced you to have raw sex with him when you wasn't ready for it.

You only have been on your pill since a short amount of time back then and you didn't felt really comfortable to have already sex without a condom as a second guaranty.

When you tried to explain your worries to him, he just got mad and accused you to not trusting him. Then he even blackmailed you that he would break up with you when you're still not consent with it.

When you told Jungkook what happened he promised to himself to not mention his kink too early in your relationship. Even when he knows that both of you are completely clean and that you're on birth control. Plus the fact, that you always make sure to take them very regulary, he doesn't want you to feel pressured to do something like that when you're not ready for it. Then he wouldn't be any better than your damn ex!

And now?

Now you're standing infront of Jungkook's bed, almost completely naked, just wearing plushy bunny ears and a tail butt plug. These ears reminds Kookie of the floppy ones of a dwarf ram rabbit. Gosh you look adorable and so, so sexy.

Jungkook can't believe what he's hearing when you open slightly stuttering your lips.

"T-Today is Easter and around this time of a year, bunnies are in m-mating season and I thought... you, as my buck, would like to breed me, your bunny, too...", you mumble and chew nervously on your lower lip.

Kookie is speechless, don't know what to say or where the heck you got the info that he likes raw sex. The corners of your mouth turns into a small cheeky smile.

"You should be more careful when you're on the phone with one of your hyungs and didn't want to get accidentally overheard... And w-when I'm honest, I actually like raw sex. Well, when I trust my partner enough and I trust you, Jungkook. I just wanted to be a good Easter bunny for my buck so bad... p-please mate me, Kook."

Oh, you didn't know until now, how good Kookie will breed his cutest bunnygirl. How wet he could make you with Dirty Talk about Breeding, about filling you up to the brim with his semen, shooting his cum again and again into your hole until it's szoozing out of you.

You'll love the way Jungkook makes you feel~

[the-fiction-witch]

More Bunnies!

REAL LIFE: SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: ADORABLE AF

"Ladies, gentlemen, and those who have yet to make up there minds." y/n smiled sitting on her sofa Thomas' beside her with his head on his hand

"Is that a kinky boots quote?"

"Yes it is, did you finally get around to watching it" "Yes I did"

"And?"

"It's good, not as fun as rocky horror but"

"Nothing's as fun as rocky horror, you'd be good if they ever make another movie of it"

"Yeah? would I make a good rocky sweetie darling?" "No, I was thinking riff raff"

"...well fuck you too"

"Anyway, the point of the video"

"Yes, the point"

"This may be the first video where I'm doing something, and you have actually wanted to be involved, I haven't bribed you, you know what we are doing, and your still here"

"Because this is a good video"  he says "That I very much wanted to be a apart off"

"Because you love them"

"I do, I don't know how anyone can't love them"

"My ex boyfriend hated them

"Yeah well I hated him to"

"You did?"

"We both know I hated joe, he was a dick. that lacked dick Ironically"

"He did, too much dick in the personality, not enough dick in the pants" she giggled "But anyway this video is not about dicks" "That's next week" "will you... shut the mouth. make me tea"

"No"

"Then just shut the mouth"

"The point! of this video. Is that tomorrow is a very very special day, Now I think before I really explain we need a bit of back story" she smiled "My dad owned a vintage car garage, he had been a mechanic all of his life, he learnt though just constantly going to work my his dad in a little garage up in Norfolk, But he opened the garage when he was about eighteen fixing classic cars up for people. and Everyone worked in the business, My dad met my mum because she owned a little  AJS Motorbike that she constantly needed him to fix. My brothers all worked there, and of course I worked there. When we lost my mum, we kinda just... I would say floated like we survived and I very much kinda became the mother being the only girl in the family. And that is something I do say with family businesses you need and out because you work all day with your family and then go home to your family you sort of never leave the dynamic. and As we all likely know as we have told this story, Thomas started working at our garage when... I think you where like sixteen? fifteen then you started?"

"I was fifteen but imminently about to turn sixteen when I started"

"yeah"

"But... the weird thing Is we met when I stated, but we didn't really... know each other" "Yeah it was that weird like, we work at the same place we see each other a lot but we rarely talk to each other"

"I was in the office a lot I did a lot of paperwork and ordering then, and you just constantly had like your head in Morris minors and mini's"

"I think the first time we really spend any time together was when your dad was away, and your brothers where away and it literally was just me and you in the garage, I was tinkering with this little Rover, and I remember you just coming over"

"You had like oil and dirt all over your face and hands from this shitty little rover, so I went over with a little cloth and like did the-"

"The like lick the cloth wipe the dirt off my face"

"I did, and from then on just... bestest friends"

"Yeah, Best friends"

"With crushes on each other"

"I did have a crush on you at that age that's something I have admitted to." "I don't think the situation helped though, like I was one girl in a garage where you worked, at some point you where going to get a crush on me"

"Ummm, You had a crush on me too at one point?"

"I did, I think because you where like the only person who worked there who wasn't part of my family, but it never went anywhere," she shrugs "Anyhow, and then when I moved out of my parents house into my first little apartment I kinda... felt weird I moved away from my family I suddenly felt very lonely and unneeded" she explained "there was more going on at that time that I will put in a video at some point. but I wasn't great emotionally and at that time my best friend Lisa, had a pregnant bunny rabbit named lopple. Now Lisa didn't know still doesn't know how she got pregnant, she thinks the rabbit who was like nextdoor or something got out and somehow got to lopple we don't know all we know is that I was over there helping her prep so making the beds up helping where Lopple was nesting all that kind of thing, and we sat in her garden giving lopple some very soft pets and we just saw something move and saw she was giving birth." she explained "She had six rabbits in her fluffle" "Her fluffle?"

"yes thomas, its called a fluffle" "Is it?"

"Yeah, a litter of kittens, a fluffle of buns"

"That is adorable" "yes it is, but she had six, now Lopple was a very chubby black lion hair and we don't know about the dad but all these buns where black and white and the one who looked most like lopple was this little bun that had white paws and a white tail, a white nose and then just black all over and Lisa's plan was that she was going to keep the babies until they where old enough and then sell them on to other people" she explained

"That didn't happen"

"I didn't, I basically went over every single day and watched these little bunnies grow up to where they could function on there own, and I grew very attached to the one we had nicknamed socks because of her white feet and Lisa just kinda asked me if I wanted her?" she smiled "I had never had bunnies before, or really pets before but I couldn't leave her so I instantly said yes, went to a pet store that day and bought all the stuff she would need and took her home to my apartment set her little hutch up at the end of my bed, and I renamed her hen I got her home to Hopscotch" she smiled

"About... maybe a week later I came over to your apartment and Met hopscotch" "she loved you, Immediately" she laughs "I was expecting her, like when she had met other people that she would hide in her house, or she would come and burrow into my back like she still does, or maybe bite I was worried about biting, but you sat by her house she came wondering out with her little soft feet, walked right over to Thomas sniffed him jumped in his lap and feel asleep"

hopscotch ran across the wooden floor to where Thomas sat cross legged

"Hello? small rabbit"

"Hopscotch"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"okay, Hi hopscotch"

"she's thinking about it, she's giving you a sniff"

"Give me an investigate, nose pat down"

"seeing if you got any contraband, Like carrots"

"I don't have any carrots I'm sorry"

she then jumped onto his lap getting comfy in a little bunny loaf, closing her little eyes and going to sleep "Awwww you have been chosen"

"I have?"

"You have been chosen this is your life now Thomas. you are not a bunny bed"

"I am fine with this, this is life now, Hey... Hey little girl," he chooes petting her fur  

"and she still loves me"

"she does, and I don't know why. it's maddening to me" she laughs "Hopscotch, come here darling" she called picking up the soft bunny who instantly walked over the sofa to Thomas' lap "You see what I mean"

"I cried the first time"

"You did, I remember you just like in tears as she slept on your leg because she was just too cute" she laughs "and then, when I got this house and moved here she came with me, and we very much became a family, like the three of us."

"I think we kinda did when we first moved next-door to each other we just basically lived together, more then we do now, we've put some .... kinda rules and boundaries in now but then we really where just basically living together" he explained

"and one day, we where shopping together and we had to go to the pet store to get food for hopscotch, and we walked in going to the rabbit section to get the food and..." she smiled picking up jellybean from the floor "This little boy was there, in a little pen of rabbits they had for sale all of them where playing and bouncing around but this little boy was just sat by the glass chillin' eating a dandelion leaf" she smiled "Now people think I squealed and had to get him but-

"I went to buy rabbit food for hopscotch and I think..."

she then showed the pet shop with the glass pen of bunnies where a little one sat playing with thomas though the glass "I think thomas' found a friend"

"look at him! He's so fluffy"

"Like you"

"He is like me! we have the same hair" He laughs

"The sign says you can pet but not pick up"

thomas happily leant in petting the bunny that instantly nuzzled into his hand

"what is happening right now? are you some sort of bunny magnet Thomas?  where you a rabbit in a former life?"

"maybe"

"You are fluffy, horny and like veg. Fuck you are a rabbit"

"that makes way more sense then I like"

"Is this happening? are you going to get a bunny Thomas?"

"I might, but if I do we can't hang out as much as we'll both have animals in our houses" "Or I could just keep him at my house, him and hopscotch could be best friends?"

"Yeah?  should we do it? should we get Hopscotch a brother?"

"I did" "Yeah, you pointed him out, and sat like waving at him though the glass for like ten minuets, they said you could pet them just don't like pick them up so we both gave this little boy some pets, petted his soft ears and I couldn't leave him there" she smiled "so I bought another rabbit, and came home very nervous very worried how hopscotch was going to react to him, introduced them slowly and all that so they wouldn't fight but"

"They mewed" "And rabbits rarely mew"

"They don't but the minuet jellybean got in here he started mewing, hopscotch was a little more tentative but thats because its her house and she sniffed the box he was in and you could hear them mewing at each other trying to like talk to each other though this box, and you could see them trying to give each other kisses though an air hole in the box"

"it was so fucking cute, I wish I filmed it," she says "and then we let him out and they sniffled each other and licked each other and just they where so happy together, I assumed they would sort of bond like brother and sister. Because they are both my babies but... I was dumb because of course they didn't" she laughs "We know very well from lots of videos' that hopscotch and jellybean and very in love"

"They are very in love, like if you take one just into another room without the other they'll start crying, and stomping until there allowed to be together again"

"I take them both to the vet. if one has to go, because it's way less stressful for them both to just be together" "It's weird how much... like us they are" "Ummm, but the news!"

"Yes, news"

"There is going to be... some more life in this house" she smiled "Someone, is preggo"

"Not you!"

"OHH fuck no, no, no I am not pregnant. thank the devil. but another little fluffy lady is." she smiled "we got it back from the vet last week, she's pregnant, she's going to be having a little fluffle of kits of her very own. " she smiled

"Our babies having babies" he smiles cuddling hopscotch

"Lopple has been notified about the up and coming grandchildren." she smiled "Hopscotch is on a nice preggo diet, and jellybean is in trouble. I'm sure there will be a video where we shall met the fluffle. I don't know what the plan is, I think it depends on how many she has on weather or not we keep them"

".... you are not getting rid of them, No. I will not allow it"

"Thomas' I can't afford to keep like ten rabbits"

"the money is not an issue I shall fund the bunnies"

"I lack the house space for like ten rabbits thomas" "Guess we'll have to move house then"

[zhuilingyizhen]

Have you ever considered a time travel au? Like sizhui (+ the other juniors?) going back to when wangxian's generation was their age,, or wwx and lwj ending up in their younger bodies or smth

Ooh!!!

I have one idea, but it’s.... kinda dark? Jin Ling gets erased out of existence?

Hmmm I said no sad, but it’s like crack-sad so I think it’s okay.

So, this whole idea started when I thought “what if jingyi & zizhen, the ultimate matchmaking team, went back in time and unknowingly got yzy and madame jin together?”

Then I realized, “what if that made a big oopsie?”

Anyways, this is the “oh shit, i screwed up” kinda time travel AU. Be warned.

Jingyi and Zizhen are in the Cloud Recesses library, reading through some random books, when they stumble upon one that looks older than Lan Qiren. One of them is a journal, documenting a time traveler.

They read it, and it’s super cool! Fun! Woah!

Jingyi, thinking it probably won’t work anyway but hey, why not try? tries the tailsman with Zizhen.

Suddenly, they’re back in time.

But they don’t know that & thought they failed.

Just then, an uNknOwN Lan disciple walks in and demands to know wtf they’re doing there at this time of night!!

Jingyi is confused, bc who is this strangely familiar disciple? A new transfer?

He voices his ?? and is met with “I am Lan Qiren. Why are you imposters in here? Where did you get that ribbon?”

He’s droning on in true Lan Qiren fashion, and Jingyi and Zizhen kinda look at each other because hOLY SHIT THAT ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

They immediately get tf outta there (guess it’s their turn with the brain cell) and start checking out all the differences. Zizhen deduces that they should be forty or fifty or so years in the past, since LQR be old.

They’re wandering around for a couple days (future tailsman in Zizhen’s pocket) and have fun exploring all the different stuff.

And then, Jingyi realizes that the Wens are kinda alive. And he has a moment, where he realizes they could bring Sizhui back here!! Surely Sizhui would want to learn about his past, right?? This would be the perfect opportunity!

He may or may not have bought a Wen(tm) jewelry for his very platonic best friend, but we don’t talk about that.

And then, they meet a rando young woman practicing her sword fighting. Zizhen thinks that she feels familiar, but has no idea why.

The juniors approach her, and ask what’s up, because she be really murdering those dummies.

She introduces herself hesitantly (she’s a little sus of them), as Yu Ziyuan.

Zizhen & Jingyi definitely failed their history tests, because they don’t know who she is, only that she’s very gay for her friend.

And Jingyi and Zizhen hatch a plan to help this rando stranger who certainly isn’t important to the plot or anything get with the girl!

And bOI DO THEY TRY

They help Ziyuan out by suggesting flowers, sweets, even give her a template for an undying love confession!

She’s kinda cold towards them at first, but Ljy and oyzz shan’t be hindered! They persist, and she eventually asks her friend to elope with her and escape their arranged marriages.

Jingyi gives Zizhen a side eye like “whoops” but also cheer as they ride off into the sunset!! Woohoo!

Then they go back in time, and... oh boy. Shit happened. Time rippled. The universe was changed.

Because Jingyi & Zizhen may or may not have erased Jin Ling from existence by getting his grandmothers together.

Because then those two ditch and jc & jyl are kinda not alive, though wwx still gets taken in (and maybe they pretend he’s jfm’s child so jfm can make him sect heir??)

And ljy & oyzz are shook.

And then they freak out and go to the only sane, responsible person they know: Lan Sizhui

bEcaUse sUreLy hE wOulDn’T bE diFferEnt

Actually, they search the whole Cloud Recesses, but he’s not. there. And Jingyi asks the now-old Lan Qiren, who has no clue who Sizhui is.

Then Zizhen has a brain cell moment and remembers, oh wait, wasn’t Sizhui a Wen??

They look at each other and bolt towards the Nightless City, which is not dead bc plot convience and. Maybe yzy and madame jin started their own sect and they saw through the Wen’s bs? They’re still alive tho

And Sizhui is an innocent bb farm boi in the middle of nowhere 🥺

COUNTRY BOII I LOVE YOUUUUUU

Jingyi literally tackles him into a hug and Sizhui freezes bc who da FUCC is this

But even in this timeline, he is :)) so he just kinda asks, v. politely, “who are you”

But then he sees Zizhen and lights up

“A zhen! What are you doing here?”

tHEN

Sizhui smiles shyly and kisses Zizhen on the cheek and ljy & oyzz both have whiplash

bc this is time for my zhuizhen agenda and they be dating

they have to somehow convince Sizhui that they’re from a completely different timeline

And it’s really confusing until Jingyi just starts listing off everything he knows about Sizhui, bc he is not giving up his status as Sizhui’s best friend just bc they’re in different timelines.

& the stuff Jingyi know is... a lot.

“Your favorite color is white, you hate herbal tea, you think that putting your hair down is a hassle, and when you were twelve you thought you were cursed bc two of your rabbits died in a week and placed stone tablets near every door in the dorms—”

Sizhui is kinda shook so he goes with them, though he doesn’t believe them at first. And he ain’t letting his bf (oyzz) leave immediately :/

Sizhui helps them with the ritual, and lets them leave. Then, he goes home to his peaceful farmer boi life, confused. 

They have better luck next time they go back and don’t help anyone. They don’t do anything extreme, and they don’t do anything! Right?

Yeah no, cause zizhen sees this little, dirty child out in the streets and goes uwu and gives the child some money (and maybe a motivational speech?? life changing??).

That child grows up to be Jiggy, bc ofc ofc, and he and his mom manage to use to money to leave (I mean, sect heir oyzz has to have a decent sum, and it was worth more back then). Jgy becomes a respected vendor, hating his dad like every other child of jgs but still living da peaceful life.

So he never helps them with the Wens. And the Wens may or may not win. (honestly I don't remember the plot of mdzs, so this is probably inaccurate. I gotta reread it; my memory’s trash lol)

A lot of people get dead. Zizhen is horrified.

This time though, WQ and WN stole baby WY and left. The Wens,, didn’t really care (maybe they noticed wq left, but they have other, not as competent, healers). 

They seek refuge, but the Cloud Recesses is kinda burnt and the Jiangs ain’t looking so hot either (plus that ain’t a good idea, jc is probably not ok with that)

They don’t bother to check up on anyone this time.

Zizhen and Jingyi go back to the past, stare at each other in true mamma mia, here we go again fashion.

But this time, they dig a hole in the ground and hide there for a couple minutes, before finally, finally, finally going back to the future

And it’s fine, except they screwed up and ended up a little too far into the future.

Like, as in they accidentally time travel to Jin Ling and Sizhui’s marriage fast-forward.

Revelations are made, and this has somehow worn even Jingyi to the point of exhaustion (also, is there any world where he gets to be with a Yuan??)

So they go back several years, energy depleted, and end up right where they started.

Zizhen and Jingyi look at each other, and have a mini-celebration because they did it! They got back and everything seems normal so they’re gonna assume it’s their timeline.

On their way to burn the magical time travel book, they bump into Wei Wuxian.

Zizhen asks how his husband is doing, and they find out that WangXian hasn’t gotten together in this timeline yet.

Jingyi screams, and Zizhen goes to cry in a hole. They’ll be okay. Eventually.

Wow, this ended up really Zizhen/Jingyi-centric...

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 10: Friday

I just had this feeling this morning like I didn’t want to go to work and eh... that was probably right. Nothing really bad happened, I just felt very strongly that I did NOT want to be there.

My coworker wanted to talk to me at like 8:30 in the morning (you know those silly little ‘don’t talk to me before I’ve had my coffee’ signs?? literally do not talk to me before 9:30 EARLIEST) and I was supremely incoherent. Then later a different coworker essentially took out his bad mood on my department including on me personally, and it was... dumb. I got his point but I’m just, as I tried to explain to others later, unkeen on being talked to about actions I took under others’ explicit instructions. Also, in part because of that, in part because I thought he was semi-unreasonable, and in part because I just truly didn’t want to do what he was asking/telling me to do, I did not really budge on the issue. Which was very awkward because as I said I did get his point. And of course the issue is SOMETHING DUMB which is always how it is. All of these fights are 100% shit that would sound idiotic if you tried to explain it to someone else, which is why I’m vaguing right now.

And the nametags thing came up on Teams (thanks @ the same coworker), and the only good thing about that is that the director explicitly said she was against the idea so I feel pretty confident that it won’t be mandated. Also I could detect some panic in other people about it. I do NOT like the way this is being handled AT ALL. Plus it’s just the hill I’ve decided to die on (because I think I can win--so I guess it’s better to say this is the hill I’m going to defeat my enemies on) so I gotta get annoyed at it. I refrained from contributing to the conversation but I did like the director’s anti-nametag post, which I think gets my point across.

Also I felt like I spent a lot of time doing not much, to be honest. Still didn’t go to stupid compact shelving. Devoted too much time to the crap in the above paragraphs. Talked to BL over in admin and heard some more unflattering stories about a particular administrator. Like, incredibly unflattering. Which is stuff I do want to know but it contributes to the overall Mood of the day, which again is ‘I don’t want to be here.’

I took a very late lunch, and that in turn contributed to me not paying enough attention to the time and leaving late.OH AND I got 3 important emails in the last ten minutes of the day. Two were very expected because they were coming from the West Coast but the last was like.. do not make me deal with this right now.

I didn’t deal with almost any of it but I did get so distracted that I left about five minutes late, and so I missed the bus. I wasn’t too upset about it since the weather was nice anyway and I didn’t mind spending some time downtown. But I did waste time trying to see if I could catch said bus, and then more time trying to go to my favorite coffee shop, which had closed at 5. But since it was 5:15, there were still people inside (cleaning up, which is fair) and people outside (drinking coffees they’d bought before 5 I’m sure, also fair), and the sign said hours were until 7 so I spent a few confused, embarrassing moments going ????? what is the truth?

So ultimately I went to a different cafe, a newish one that opened in 2019 I think. I’ve always avoided it in part because the floor is very loud and in part because I felt like I was cheating on my main place lol. (Not that I never get coffee anywhere else... just that this place is so close to my usual place, I always feel like, if I’m in the area, I might as well go to said usual place.) I did find the inside very disorienting. The pattern of the floor is just truly A Lot. They did have these weird teacup ornaments hanging from the ceiling though. I got an iced latte, which was fine, and this delicious spinach and feta pastry. I feel like I should stop by more often for baked goods. I settled outside with what I’d gotten, mostly because of the floor, partly because it actually was nice out, and partly because I’m not currently comfortable with indoor dining, even in places with almost no one in them.

I only had like 25 minutes to kill at that point, but it was nice. I had a notebook with me and I did a teeny bit of planning on the Southern Gothic AU (still behind on this!!). Mostly I listened to the conversation next to me. I couldn’t entirely help it; the girl’s voice was carrying. She was talking to her guy friend about some recent issues they’d been having in their friendship. I was honestly...kind of impressed with them? I could mostly hear her--he was talking too but his voice didn’t carry as much--but it just overall sounded like a really open, emotionally honest, generally calm talk. Like certainly there were strong emotions in play (not exactly going to judge whether they were “warranted” given the apparent facts of the dispute, since I just ranted about a disagreement over something so dumb I don’t even want to name it in public) but they were just... expressing feelings that were difficult, and expressing displeasure with others’ actions, without yelling or being passive aggressive, etc. I mean even that they’d picked this time and place to meet specifically to discuss it I thought was commendable. And they were definitely friends, not bf/gf, because the disagreement involved his girlfriend (once referred to as his “partner”...sorry lol I judged that a LITTLE since they looked like they were maybe 21 years old--partner in WHAT??). The girl mentioned her therapist, which put a lot of her tone and vocabulary into perspective. Not necessarily in a bad way, I mean, it seemed to be working? But as someone who has never been to therapy, but is self-taught, so to speak, in gauging and describing my own feelings, I could... discern a sort of purposeful vocabulary that almost sounded scripted. I wrote down some specific quotes but I don’t want to put them in a public place. I’ll draw my respecting-strangers’-privacy line in the sand there. But a lot of, like “when you do x, it makes me feel y” kind of controlled explanations.

Anyway, I got very invested in that. Partly for future writing purposes, partly out of curiosity and partly because... I don’t know that I could have that kind of conversation NOW and I’m fairly sure I could not have when I was in college. I mean.... I don’t know... I’ve blocked out a lot of the pretentious/serious/about-our-feelings talks I did have. And what sticks out now are all the times I didn’t do that--all of the many, many issues with TA38... Even the way B and I have literally NEVER acknowledged the handful of times we hooked up in 2009.

You’re never gonna sound COOL talking about your emotions, your wants and your needs; it’s always gonna sound, imo, like a Therapy Script. And I don’t even always think you gotta have those talks. After graduation, R and I literally had this exchange where we said ‘well we both made mistakes last year, and we could try to untangle it now, but it’s just gonna bring up a lot of bad feelings. It’s done now anyway. Blanket apologies given, blanket acceptance of apologies, let’s move on.” And we did and it was fine. But if we’d had better conversations while we were living together, that would have been a different situation.

All of which is of course complicated for me personally because I am extremely conflict-averse. EXTREMELY.

Anyway, I ran into BL at the bus stop and we talked a bit there and on the bus, which was fine but kinda exhausting tbqh especially because of the topic of conversation. I got home at 6:30 and must have crawled immediately into bed and gone to sleep, but I barely remember it at all. Woke up at 10:30 and had no idea what time it was or what day it was or what I was doing.

Had dinner and then somehow went down a rabbit hole that started... somewhere?? and ended with me looking up my childhood home on Google Earth, which you KNOW is the sign of a mentally stable person who is doing just fine okay.

Now it’s the absolutely disgusting hour of 2:30 in the morning... Idk I wanted to go out tomorrow and take advantage of the nice weather but we’ll see how that goes. The thing is I feel like I need a full day to sleep but I only have two (2) days and in that time I gotta do laundry, cook for the week, preferably write one (1) whole chapter of this fic, and possibly also go on the aforementioned excursion. Which is a lot for me. It doesn’t really... fit.

Everything’s just so much all the time and so on.

[fairytsuk1]

trainwreck | part one.

pairing: katsuki bakugou x reader

genre: fluff <3

warning: none! swearing lmao 

words: 1,670

summary: your train is late and your eye just wont drift away from a certain explosive blond

a/n: cute shit for my baby <3

    His body language is the first telling sign that this handsome stranger must be pissed. It was only a glance at first, which delved into two. Then about five minutes later you were peeking above your book to really see this person making you chuckle under your breath.

     His sagging pants made a laugh bubble in your chest and the disheveled dress shirt just made him look...droopy. He was droopy and just looked weird. Sort of like he tumbled out of a tornado and randomly decided to go to school. You looked back down at your book and skimmed over the neglected words, a fantasy novel that was definitely a copy of a copy of witches and magic and the same stereotypical tropes. Who needed fantasy books anyways? At this day and age, everyone having quirks made everyday life like a superhero fantasy movie.

     His arms cross again and he rolls his neck around. Oh, you were staring again. You dog-eared your page and shut your book, you were way more interested in this “character” standing right in front of you! A ringing noise sounds through the station and a sharp head turn makes you very aware of why this man was so troubled.

     The train to Kokoshi Prefecture was late. Very late. So late in fact, you’d have to be a track star to make it to your class on time. Had you really missed the delay announcement? What had even happened? Hell, you wouldn’t have minded a thirty minute delay, school isn’t too terribly interesting. But an hour? That’s absolutely ridiculous! Who’s manning this station?!

     “...Are you fucking kidding me?” A snapping sound similar to the cracking of knuckles with a mixture of popping balloons was barely heard over the rickety station ambience. “Absolutely ridiculous.”

     You and this stranger shared the same sentiment. You didn’t even realize you were mean-mugging the digital sign until you turned and saw your reflection in the coffee-colored glass of a work booth. The man inside said booth raised an eyebrow at you and a hot flush of shame washed over you. The angel on you shoulder prays he didn’t take it personally. The devil wants you to strangle the man. The station was nearly empty at this hour, most of the people here were students as well. Either texting or napping, everyone had the same displeased expression. Now you wished you had just gotten a coffee like you had wanted to twenty minutes ago, the boost of energy would’ve been nice as a yawn overtakes you. Staying up late was definitely taking its toll on your body, knees weakening during the yawn.

     “You going to Kokoshi too?”

“Huh?”

     Closing your mouth, you stupidly looked up at the boy and let the first word you thought of run out your mouth. Huh. He tilted his head and the gritty train tiles could have swallowed you whole without complaints.

     “I asked if you were going to Kokoshi Prefecture. You know, on the train that’s one hour late?,” he casted a mean look at the station worker, the man through the glass turning in his chair to disguise the fact he was most definitely not working, “I was just asking ‘cause you’re...y’know, wearing a uniform and everything. Nevermind.”

     Rejection. He looked like he was mad and a little embarrassed too. He thought your silence meant rejection. Shit!!

“No, ah, I’m taking the Kokoshi train too! But I was just confused because you didn’t seem like the type to strike up conversation…,” he looked at you plainly. Did you just offend him? “Oh! Well I didn’t mean it like that!! I just meant ‘cause you seemed so wrapped up in your uh...energy that I didn’t think you were gonna come over or at the very least…”

     Rather than hearing a scoff or even a swear shouted your way, he barked out a laugh and turned his head sideways. He laughed. He laughed!

     “So you were watching me? Stalker. Yeah I’m pissed off! U.A.’s gonna have my ass but how else can I get to school, I thought the train’d be faster. Turns out it’s the exact fucking opposite…”

     Popping sounds came from the ground and you became distinctly aware of the burnt caramel smell. You took a quick look down and instinctively took a step back, explosions?! From. His. Hands. Wow, whatta quirk! And did he say U.A.?! Wow, he was basically a pro hero in the making!

“I know what you mean! I mean, I don’t go to your big fancy school or anything but my campus is huge! Now, I might as well not even go...So are you like a hero yet? Well what about your year? How old are you?”

     Please don’t be a third year and about to graduate!

     He almost looked flustered, the tinge of pink in his cheeks could’ve been from anything on his smooth cheeks, but the deep redness at the tops of his ears told you all you needed to know. His eyes flitted down, you had definitely gotten closer from the excitement of talking to a cute boy, if you used your quirk a bit more, you might have even noticed if he focused on your assets or not!

     “I-Uh-A first year. And don’t you know how being a hero works? You gotta get a provisional license first! Then you can blow up as many villains as you want!...What’s your quirk anyways? You’re way too excited this early in the morning.”

     Katsuki felt weird, his chest felt warm and he could distinctly feel the moisture on his palms and fingertips. You were a pretty girl, sure. Maybe it was the fact that you went to a different school, it was new for him! That’s it! He wasn’t nervous, what the hell would he have to be nervous about? You’re just some girl anyways.

“I’m Y/N L/N! Don’t forget it future hero, shout me out when you get famous. I’m a first year too and my quirk is called analyze! If I have a certain amount of caffeine, I can read people’s body language like I've known them for years! It’s actually awesome. It’s not as cool as your explosions though. Those are something else.”

     Oh. That was it. Now he knew what it was, he scrunched up his face and looked away from your overwhelming presence. He didn’t like you, you were just cute and you’d complimented him and...you smelled like honey. Maybe if he just ignored you, you’d go away.

     “Oh yeah? What am I projecting right now, nerd?”

“You’re feeling like you might be...well I don’t know! You’re complex, a couple minutes ago you were shy and now you’re a little nervous and something else. I haven’t had any coffee today, so I can’t read you. I’m sorry about that!”

     It was humiliating, this cool (and attractive) guy asks you to show him your quirk and you can’t even do that?

     “I’ll buy you a coffee.”

“What? Really? I don’t even know your name…”

     “Shut up and take the offer! I’ll buy you a coffee so I can see how actually strong you are. And didn’t you watch the sports festival?,” a boyish grin rose on his face and the sight made your heart melt, “It’s Bakugou Katsuki!”

     Humming, you repeated his name and watched him nod before facing forward once more. It rolled off the tongue in an odd way. Bakugou had such sharp consonants and seemed fiery, it sort of suit him. But Katsuki...that suit him for sure. The starters of each syllable were gentle and reminded you of other words like whipped cream or honey.

“I like your name. It’s a strong one, I’ll be sure to remember it!”

     “No one’s ever said that before. You’re kinda weird you know? I mean, how marks their book pages like that?”

“Hey wait a minute! I just didn’t have a bookmark on hand! Plus I bought it so there’s no harm really! Well maybe a little but nothing long-lasting.”

     “Sure. You heathen,” he carried an amused smile on his face and took a step forward, “here it comes.”

“What?”

T .    he train burst out of the entrance like a rocket, lights shining into your eyes yet also casting a dim yellow glow over the whole station. The wind from the sheer speed of it whipped you in the face and for a split second it’s realized that if you had stood any closer, you might have been blown backwards. You jacket bristles at the contact and a frown dons your features when you realize that this was the end. Well, maybe the beginning of the end of your love story adventure. 

     Bakugou stood proudly, legs in a proud wide stance and his arms crossed as he quickly stepped up to the platform and then onto the train. He turned and jerked his head back, motioning you to be his accompaniment. Hoisting your backpack up even farther, you squeezed through those small sliding door with the rest of the people in the station.

     He said nothing and sat in the closest seat, conveniently leaving the two next of him empty as he looked as you expectantly. Even if it wasn’t meant to be friendly, you couldn’t deny the fact that his sharp glare made you feel a little weak at the knees. Clutching your bag to your chest, you sat so close your knees were touching and your heartbeat thumped like a rabbit’s foot in your chest.

“I actually don’t like riding the train. But…”

     “Don’t get started. I don’t wanna hear your mushy shit.”

     You deflated a bit.

“But yeah, it’s not so bad if you’re around, loser.”

     You smiled and played with the ripped hole in your bag. Who could read who again? You couldn’t even tell anymore as the universe made itself known in the piece of gum he handed you that, indeed, this would not be your last meeting.

[solace-sun]

Not the Typical Way You Meet A Soulmate (Solangelo) - Chapter One

Preview: Nico had his fun for the night. It was time to go home. Which would've been easier if the ground beneath him isn't spinning. The world was moving in ways it shouldn't. He wasn't sure which direction was home. The street was now solely lit by the harsh streetlights towering above him, and the sidewalk seemed to slip from under his feet.

At the current moment, Will Solace hated just about everything he could see. He hated his shitty car for breaking down, and he hated the empty refrigerator in his kitchen. He hated how he had to walk to the store, and he hated his broken arm that hindered his ability to adequately carry his groceries home from the store. He even hated the lady at the checkout for only giving him two bags, which teemed to the brim with his groceries. He hated the way the sun reflected across the pavement and trees around him. The sun filtered the colors of the earth's surface in such a painstakingly gorgeous way, one that seemed to mock Will's current mood.

Needless to say, Will was pretty pissed.

Lost in his own hatred for the world and everything on it, Will failed to see the growing tear at the bottom of one of his bags. The bag broke and groceries tumbled onto the cement before he could even notice the hole.

Now, Will really hated his groceries. He almost thought about just leaving them on the ground as they lay, in an utter defeat. Before he could walk away from the wreckage, someone approached him from behind.

"Do you need any help there?" A voice came from behind Will. He turned to find a dark haired man standing behind him, clutching the straps of his backpack. Will's expression softened.

Now there's something I don't hate.

"That would actually be so great, thank you," Will sighed with relief.

"It's no problem. I was raised to always help the crippled when they're in need," the man joked, referring to Will's broken arm.

"Do I really look that sad?" Will asked with a laugh. The man shrugged before bending over to pick up the spilled groceries.

"We can use my backpack to carry what fell out," he offered, opening the bag for Will.

"Thank you so much," Will replied, "What's your name?"

"Nico. And you?"

"Will Solace."

The two placed an assortment of fruit, ramen, and frozen meals into Nico's bag.  Before hefting his bag onto his shoulders, he flashed Will a thin smile. The pair began to trudge through an uncomfortable silence down the sidewalk. Just before the silence became too thick, Nico spoke, driven by curiosity.

"How'd you break your arm?" He asked.

"Oh, I broke it during a lacrosse game last week," Will responded.

"Lacrosse?"

"Yeah I play at the school here. Or, well, I used to, I guess," Will responded.

"You quit because of your arm?"

"Yes and no, I guess. Getting injured kinda made me realise there's more important things I could be doing. Better places to put my time, y'know?"

"Makes sense," Nico agreed flatly.

"Yeah, guess I'll be spending more time focusing more on school, for right now," Will replied, "I'm here for pre-med."

To which Nico's response was a stifled snort.

"What's so funny?" Will demanded.

"I've never seen a doctor in a cast and sling before. I don't know, I just think it's funny. Did they let you wrap your own arm?" Nico joked. Will gave a sardonic huff and rolled his eyes.

The two continued their walk down the sidewalk. Will took a turn and gestured towards an apartment complex.

"Looks like we're here," He spoke. Nico followed him up a flight of stairs and watched as Will fumbled with his keys in the shadow of his front door.

While Will opened the door, Nico had gathered an armful of groceries from his bag. He placed them into Will's arms.

"Hey man, thanks for everything," Will thanked.

"It's all good," Nico gave a wary smile as he zipped his bag shut. He gave a wave to Will, and turned on his heel, starting for home

Maybe it was the weather, or maybe it was who Nico had just met, but that day, Nico felt lighter than usual. A feeling from the pit of his stomach that made his head feel airy. The feeling continued his entire walk home.

His mood only improved when Hazel told him about a party happening the next night. Parties were Nico's favorite pastime, as the life of a dead end, part-time job weighed on him from time to time. Besides getting utterly and totally wasted on a weeknight, Nico had no real purpose. He needed some sort of distraction to get him through to the next day.

He opened the door to his painfully dull apartment, to see his step sister Hazel finishing up her ramen noodle dinner, with her head stuck in a textbook.

"How's it going?" Nico asked, greeting his sister.

"Someone's in a good mood," Hazel responded.

"What? I can't ask my sister, whom I love very much, how her day went?"

"Someone like you? It's pushing it dude," she joked, "Seriously though, the past week you've barely spoken a single word. What's up?"

"I don't know," he tried. And, in all honesty, he truly didn't know.

Hazel gave him a look of confusion, "Alright then, keep your secrets," She paused to shove a bite of noodles into her mouth, "Also, I've got a friend who's throwing a party tomorrow night. I gotta do some homework tomorrow so I won't be there, but I'd figure I'd let you know anyway." She said through a bite of noodles.

"Oh god, you don't know how happy that makes me," Nico smiled.

"Yeah, I know. Just, be careful. Please?" She bored her eyes into his. He turned away.

"Yeah, got it."

The next night, Nico managed to find himself in the corner of some shitty frat house, nursing a less than adequate bottle of vodka. But his head was swimming, and nothing else really mattered. Barely cognizant of anything, disillusioned and unaligned with the world around him was how he liked to be. The quality of whatever drink was in his hand at the moment didn't really matter, so long as it made the room spin. His favorite distraction to life was working just as well as it always had.

So when he saw a familiar blonde face, he thought he was seeing things. Will, apparently, thought the same, based off the double take he made when he saw Nico in the corner of the room. Nico flashed a grin.

"Hey, I know you!" Nico exclaimed, waving the bottle that was in his grip. Will made his way over to Nico, and settled down across from him on the gross, germ ridden couch. The unnaturally hard texture of the couch's fabric made Will wonder if the thing had ever been washed. He pushed the thought out of his head before he fell down a rabbit hole of thoughts he'd rather not think.

"Funny seeing you here," Will said.

"Eh, I mean, not really," Nico slurred, "Just crashing some party at a school I don't even go to."

"How did you even get in?" Will asked with a smile, tilting his head making his blonde curls fall over his eyes.

"I just told the shithead at the door I was a 'brother' from Delta Lambda Phi. He totally bought it," Nico shook his head and laughed.

"I'm impressed," Will admitted, "But why spend your time at a college frat party?"

Nico shrugged, "Free drinks. I could be asking you the same thing. Didn't you say something yesterday about focusing on schoolwork?"

"Gotta have fun somehow," Will shrugged.

"Then how come you've got an empty hand?" Nico inquired, motioning to Will's lack of alcohol and sober status. He offered Will the bottle of vodka in his hand.

"Oh, no, I'm good, thank you," Will refused, pushing the bottle away. Nico shrugged.

"Tell me why I'm not surprised that the smart, pre-med kid won't let loose at a party?" Nico teased. Will shot him a displeased glance.

"What? I'm joking!" He reached over and took a light punch to his shoulder, "I'm sure you're the funnest guy here."

"Funnest isn't a word," Will corrected.

"You're gonna make me take back my statement," Nico deadpanned. Will threw his good hand up, defeated. The other hand remained cradled by his side, bound by cast and sling.

"Give me the bottle," He demanded.

"There we go!" Nico applauded, "See? Now you're acting like a real jock! What was it you play? Football?"

"... Lacrosse."

"That's right, lacrosse. What the fuck even is that? Like, honestly, it wasn't even a thing in Italy."

"Italy?" Will inquired.

"I grew up in Italy. Moved here when I was thirteen? Fourteen?" Nico explained.

"Oh. Wow," Will spoke.

"You didn't answer my question," Nico prodded.

"Huh?"

"The fuck is lacrosse even?"

"I'm mean its just another sport," Will reasoned, "Y'know? You got your stick and the ball, and you try to make the goal."

"How long did you play for?" Nico asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I started when I was a freshman in high school, so... seven years?"

"Damn, that's a long time. You gonna miss it?"

Will gave a huffy laugh, "Parts of it, for sure."

"Wait okay, I'm lost," Nico started, "How do you break your entire fucking arm during an over-glorified game of catch?"

"Got a nasty body check," Will explained. Nico gave him a blank stare in return; Will's words obviously did not mean anything to him.

"Someone body slammed me during the game," Will explained, "Fell back landed on my arm."

Nico made a pained expression, "Sounds like that hurt," he emphasized.

"It's not that bad," Will reasoned.

"How long to heal?"

"Only a few weeks."

Nico nodded, but before he could respond, a voice boomed from across the room.

"Solace!"

Will whipped his head around, to see another man trudging towards the two, shoving past a pool of party-goers and drunk bodies. His stride was confident and almost loud. Nico watched as he made his way over, unable to stop himself from taking an immediate distaste for the guy.

"Where have you been, dude?" the stranger asked.

Will averted his eyes, maintaining eye contact with the ground instead. He shrugged as a response before cautiously meeting the other man's stare.

"How come you don't come to lacrosse anymore? We miss you man!"

Nico couldn't decide if his words were authentic. His tone seemed to be genuine, but his condescending smirk and the arrogant gleam in his eyes wanted to tell of something different.

"I don't know," Will started. He turned his gaze to the floor and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Just come back to the team!" he exclaimed, his arms open.

"Man, I just... Just gotta think about it," Will reasoned, giving a sympathetic smile. In the shadow of the man he looked small. Maybe even vulnerable.

At this point, Nico had enough. Maybe his head wasn't quite where it was supposed to be, but his heart was. Before anything could be said, Nico interjected.

"God could you fuck off?" Nico barked, "Anyone with a pair of fucking eyes can see that he doesn't want to talk to you."

Will's head shot up and his eyes grew in shock.

"I'm sorry," the man laughed, "You talking to me?"

"Yeah man," Nico snapped, "Why don't you just leave him alone?"

"Don't you know your place?" The man retorted.

Nico was now riding on a high of his favorite drug; adrenaline. He cocked his head to the side and matched the stranger's confident energy.

"You wanna show me my place? Be my guest," he invited, standing up, a little shaky from the vodka. He tried to hide his stumble.

Will shot him a pleading look, "You don't have to do this," he whispered.

The stranger towered over Nico, "Who the fuck do you think you are?" the man snarled.

The room's atmosphere changed, voices began to hush and more eyes turned to watch the show. Nico stared down his opponent, undeterred from any distractions.

"Nico, c'mon, give it up, it's not worth it." Will persisted. But his pleads fell on deaf ears, Nico was too caught up in finishing what he had just started.

"You need to know your fucking place, fuckin' little shit," the man seethed, his shoulders rolling up and his face sneering. Before Nico could respond, a punch was thrown.

Luckily for Nico though, he had become skilled in the art of dodging fists through his years of picking drunken fights with strangers. This was nothing new for him. Instead of sucker-punching Nico in the gut, the man missed and lodged his fist into the drywall behind Nico. The crowd voiced sounds of excitement, shock, and concern. Nico could feel like anger blooming in his chest, pumping through his veins. If there was one thing he hated most, it was entitled, rich white frat boys. His hands turned to fists, but before he could commit to the final act, he felt Will tug on his arm.

"Don't do it man," He pleaded, with soft, sad blue eyes. Nico looked to the ground, trying to use his brain for the first time tonight.

"Yeah, okay. Party fucking sucked anyway," he cursed, "And I'm taking this with me!" He announced, pointing an angry finger to the bottle he had claimed earlier. He stumbled away from the scene, away from the hungry eyes of party-goers, away from the man he didn't even know the name of, who was now shouting obscenities to Nico's back. Away from Will.

Nico had his fun for the night. It was time to go home. Which would've been easier if the ground beneath him isn't spinning. The world was moving in ways it shouldn't. He wasn't sure which direction was home. The street was now solely lit by the harsh streetlights towering above him, and the sidewalk seemed to slip from under his feet.

Then he heard a voice call his name.

"Nico!" It was none other than Will, "That's your name, right? It's Nico?"

Nico smiled and nodded.

"Where you going, man?" Will asked.

Nico shrugged, "Home, I guess."

"You're not driving, are you?"

"God, no," Nico shook his head, "I don't even own a car. I was just gonna walk home."

"How's that going for you?" Will inquired, sarcasm hidden in his tone.

"It'll be fine, once the floor stops moving," he waved a dismissive hand.

"Let me walk you home," Will prompted.

Nico's brow furrowed, "What? Why?"

"Just a way to say thanks," Will shrugged.

Nico thought for a moment before he nodded. The two started off, absorbed in the sound of the quiet night.

"I'm sorry," Nico spoke, puncturing the veil of silence between the two.

"For what?" Will turned to Nico.

"I don't know... It probably wasn't on your agenda for tonight to piss off... Whoever that was."

"One of my teammates. Or, an old teammate, I guess," Will informed, "Don't feel bad about it though, I actually enjoyed watching you tell him off."

"Oh yeah? I could just tell he was making you uncomfortable. I can read you like a book," Nico flashed a cocky grin, proud of his "emotional intelligence" skills.

"Like a book? Is that so?" Will teased, "What am I feeling now?"

"You're probably wondering how you got into this mess, walking a drunk stranger home and all."

"You're not a stranger, we've met before," Will joked.

"Can't argue with that," Nico agreed.

The silence returned, but the two were comfortable in its wake. Will kicked at rock as they walked, while Nico struggled to place one foot in front of the other. In a cruel joke played by God or maybe fate, he stumbled and fell, only to catch himself on Will's good shoulder.

"Woah, there," Will laughed, holding Nico's forearms as he regained himself, "Do I need to carry you home?"

"Oh, yes please," Nico replied. Maybe drinking a whole bottle of vodka by himself was a bad idea.

"Alright then," Will said, moving an arm to secure Nico's balance.

"Wait, no I was joking-" Nico started.

"Yeah sure, you're gonna be joking until you fall and bust your ass on the concrete," Will retorted, "Don't make it weird," He said with a laugh, slinking his good arm around Nico's torso, with a gentle squeeze.

Oh.

Okay.

Don't make it weird. Got it.

"I'm not making it weird," Nico quipped.

"Great," Will shrugged. Will's curls brushed against Nico's cheek, and Nico was almost positive that Will could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Hey, wait a minute," Nico wondered out loud, "How come you aren't shit faced?"

Will gave a breathy laugh, "I'm more of a babysitter than a drinker. I was watching over a few friends tonight, but then I guess you could say I had more pressing matters to tend to."

"A stranger was more important than your friends?" Nico questioned.

"Well, when a stranger tried to pick a fight and stumble home completely wasted -- by himself, I might add, then yeah. Also, my friends know how to take care of themselves."

"Are you saying I don't know how to take care of myself?" Nico demanded.

"Maybe," Will confessed, failing to sequester the laughter spilling from his chest.

Nico found Will's laughter to be contagious, something that couldn't be escaped, and he discovered himself chuckling along with him. Maybe it was the buzz, but Nico felt the warmth in his chest again, a cozy feeling from inside. He felt at home in the feeling.

As their laughter died down, the two came up upon the backside of an apartment complex. Even on the backside, the complex stood tall and elegant, the siding expensive and tasteful.

"Looks like this is my stop," Nico announced.

"Wait, but there's no entrances back here," Will noticed.

"What a gentleman, wanting to walk me to my door," Nico teased.

"I just want to make sure you get home safe," Will protested.

"I know. It's just that... I've got this roommate, whose fucking batshit -- like absolutely crazy. Hates when I bring people home. Doesn't even matter if they drop me off at the door. It's always an argument. Says it's always too noisy when I come home with people."

Will gave a dejected look to the ground, "Oh."

"I'm sorry," Nico tried, slipping out of Will's hold.

"Wait, hold on. I'm gonna give you my number. Text me when you get back safe," he prompted. He fumbled in his pocket and took out a crumpled receipt and a pen, and scrawled his number on the backside, "Here."

Nico smiled as he took the number into his own hands, "Thanks, Will. I feel like I owe you now," He laughed.

The pair separated, following their own individual paths. Except Nico didn't head towards the complex he had claimed to be his. Rather, once he was out of the spotlight of the streetlamps, he crossed the street, heading towards a less impressive complex. His home. His tiny, dirty home.

He knew lying was wrong, but his shame for his poorly house outweighed the moral balance in his mind. He had also had lied about the crazy roommate. Just another excuse not to let someone in, keep them at a comfortable distance; knowing all too well what would come once they knew what he really lived like -- the pitiful looks and gross expressions.

It was embarrassing. But it was all he could afford.

Nico hated the pity. Rather than confront it, he would create himself a false life. Call it lies if you like, but for Nico it was just protection.

He fumbled with his keys for a minute, wracked his brain with the task of trying to figure out which one was the key to the front door. When he opened the door he felt the cool dusty air hit his face. He cracked the door open and coasted inside, careful not to wake his sister sleeping in the room across from his, who had better things to do than getting wasted on a weeknight.

His least favorite part of the nights like these was coming home. No longer did he have his distraction, his escape from his sad apartment, from his own racing thoughts and feelings.

When he came home he was forced to confront it all. No more running, and no more hiding.

Nico found his way to his room, the door creaking open. His empty room greeted him and the cool air nipped at his skin. The cracks in the ceiling welcomed him and his creaky bed frame embraced him as he collapsed into his mattress.  Nico hated its grasp, but right now he couldn't protest; sleep called his name too loud to ignore. When he lay the room was still spinning. He pulled his phone from one pocket and a crumpled receipt from the other. He copied the number from the receipt into his phone.

Will received a text on his walk back to the party.

its nico mabe it h ome safe. thbanks for caring abt me lol

[whiskeyworen]

Stormy Thoughts

The storm was raging outside. Two days ago, they had seen the rising, roiling clouds coming off the Sea of Sorrow, and decided to break port. The Forsaken Aspect's cloak and Illusion generators were powerful... but they would not be able to hide her physical shape against the rain. It wouldn't do for some dockworker to look out over the bay and see a Pact airship that somehow was shielded from the rain by something much bigger-- and cloaked -- to boot.

So rather than avoiding it, a course was set for the middle of nowhere out on the sea. There, the ship dropped its anchors; heavy Asuran geomagnetic anchors tethered to the ship by self-repairing Sylvari-tech vine chains. It wasn't a new design, but it was something being used in a novel fashion; the vines were a modification of the barrier vines the Pact used back in Fort Trinity, only on a far larger scale. Even if the anchors didn't physically hit bottom, their field projectors latched onto the ores in the sea bottom with their powerful magnets, becoming almost immobile in the water.

Thus docked, the crew decided to wait out the storm. It was almost a... vacation of sorts. They couldn't even jump the ship through a Mist portal because of the distortion the hurricane was creating not just in the atmosphere, but in the local magical fields.

It was somewhere on the second night, when things started to happen.

***

Moryggan started awake for the fifth time, shooting up in bed in terror, before groaning in frustration. Outside the lightning flashed yet again, and the rumble rolled through the ship. She glared at the large picture window that ran the length of her quarters; it was her fault really, for choosing THIS particular room as hers. She'd wanted to see the sea and sky passing by, and the big window seemed perfect for that.

The problem was, it put her on the edge of the ship on the upper decks somewhere below the bridge; though the hull was thick around there, it wasn't soundproof. So the lightning flashed angrily, and the thunder rolled menacingly, and once again, she was denied sleep.

"Pale Tree damn it." She muttered, tossing the covers off in irritation. Moryggan climbed out of bed, grumpily sliding a pair of deck shoes on and a housecoat over her night slip. "...never going to get any sleep in this room."

As if to taunt her, the lightning arced outside, striking the ship's energy barrier, dispersing with a noisy bang and an electric squeal from the shield. Moryggan's eyes narrowed and she ground her teeth, a sound of frustration hissing from her as she headed for the door. She'd have to find sleep elsewhere.

***

On the other side of the ship, in quarters that mirrored Moryggan's, the storm was having a negative effect on someone else as well. Though for a significantly different reason.

Tenna whimpered quietly in her sleep. The lightning didn't bother her...but the thunder did. And the rain. She'd fallen asleep alright earlier in the night, but as the storm worsened, the sound of the rain and the thunder woke ugly memories that then infiltrated her dreams.

The roar of the Jungle Dragon. The gunshot. The explosions rocking the fleet.

The hot dampness she felt when she woke, that burning inside and the fetid air of the gullet of the Stonehead.

"Submit and die!" Mordremoth's stone-grating voice grumbled out of the darkness, carried on the voice of thunder from the real world. "You will never escape me!"

She could see the great prow of an airship coming down at her as she fell, the gleam of the razor-sharp metal as it plunged towards her chest...

Tenna woke with a start as another thundercrack rolled over the hull, clutching her kingfisher griffon plush tightly. Her eyes darted around, thinking that somehow the horrors of her dream had followed her into waking, before she let out a pent up breath explosively.

"....I hate these dreams." She muttered, and flopped out of bed, pulling the plushie with her as she wobbled towards the door. Her oversized Disintegrating Gourds T-shirt hung almost to her ankles; she'd deliberately bought a human-sized version specifically for the size, and because the image printed on it was bigger.

Not that any of that mattered to her as she sleepily scratched at it as she trudged out into the hall. There was only one thing on her mind; the one place she'd be able to get some rest.

***

Cyrus lay awake, staring up at the skylight. Compared to other cabins on the same deck, he actually had the most window space of them all. He just didn't like having the shutters open at all times. So instead of the long, curved wall of portholes that would have been the side of his cabin, he had the sliding armor shutters closed, leaving only a relatively small skylight near the top exposed.

His cabin actually extended out onto the forward, upper hull slightly, so instead of having a vertical wall and porthole, his was a curved, half-egg shaped window lattice. On good days, with the shutters up, he could almost look up and see the bubble of the bridge's viewport from his room.

For now though, with the storm raging outside and the ship's shields up, it was just easier to have the shutters closed. He could still hear the rain pummelling the shutters and the roof, and see a little bit of the storm through the skylight, so that was nice. But he didn't want to be blinded by lightning flashes either, or woken by the squeal of the shield as it took electrical hits.

Cyrus just couldn't seem to drift off though. Not for any particular reason, but sometimes he just...couldn't relax enough to sleep. He'd always had an issue with internalized tension, and sometimes it caused him insomnia.

Just looked to be one of those nights.

"....tomorrow is going to suck if I can't get any sleep." He muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He sighed. "Maybe I should see if there's a sedative in the infirmary I can take."

But that would require getting out of bed. He was comfy, as it was. Getting up would mean pulling on some pants, maybe boots, and heading below decks. So much trouble just to sleep.

He was about to lever himself out of bed when there was a knock on his door. Who could it be at this hour? Cyrus took a moment to check if he was decent (he was), before calling out. "Who is it?" "Moryggan." Came the reply.

Moryggan was up too? "Come on in. Don't worry, I'm decent." She opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind her. To his surprise, she seemed kinda reluctant, but it might be the fact she was just wearing a simple nightgown and robe.

In his quarters.

While he was in his own night clothes.

Some part of him entertained the idea that maybe, just maybe, that was a hint of a little green blushing glow on her face that she was trying to surpress.

"Sorry for bothering you so late, Cyrus. I was... having trouble sleeping."

He nodded, sitting up completely. "That's alright... I was kind of awake anyway. Was there something you wanted?"

She nodded, approaching the bed. Sitting on the edge she awkwardly rubbed her arm with a hand, before reaching up to gingerly touch the scar on her forehead, her eyes going distant for a moment. Before he could ask, she shook herself back to reality, and looked at him.

"I was wondering... hoping you'd let me rest here for the night." She glanced up at the skylight, wincing as lightning flashed, but thankful the thunder was muted by plate armor thicker than that around her own cabin. The flash too, had been dimmer because of the small size of the window. "...The storm. It's, uh... it's brought up a lot of bad memories, and I kind of don't want to be alone."

Cyrus blinked dumbly for a moment, and then shimmied aside, offering her more of the bed. "Uh, yeah. Sure. If that's what you want. Do you want a separate blanket or anything?"

Moryggan shook her head and shed the robe, turning and flopping onto her side, facing away from him. "No...thank you."

After a moment, she shifted and pulled some of the blanket over herself. Cyrus just lay back down, and rolled onto his side -- facing away from her of course. It felt awkward to him; the idea of laying on his back next to his teammate and friend like this. At least facing away was acceptable. It wasn't like they hadn't shared close quarters before; in their travels they'd had to share tents and inn rooms before.

It was just the fact that normally he'd be wearing more than he was. Even those stays at the inns, he usually had a long-sleeved tunic on, along with loose leggings. The concept of accidental contact, let alone accidental skin-contact just wasn't a thing when he dressed like that for bed. Thinking about it, he was pretty sure that Moryggan too, had worn more to bed. He just couldn't for the life of him remember what.

Moryggan on the other hand -- while Cyrus' mind went down a rabbit hole -- stared out across the room to where his desk was installed along the wall. She found her gaze caught by the rack of small paint bottles, and the badly stained ceramic cup resting near the lamp. Did he have a hobby? She wondered, frowning a bit and looking around without moving. She'd never thought of it before, but in the last few years travelling with him, she'd never paid attention to things like that. Did he have a hobby? The few times they stopped by his place in Divinity's Reach, there'd been times he'd retreated to his room for hours while she wandered the city.

Moryggan never asked what he'd done in there; just assumed he was plotting out more of his Plan. The one that led to the revival of the Home Base, and the creation of the Forsaken Aspect. Even after the ship launched, there'd be days when he'd disappear to his quarters for hours, sometimes days, without talking to anyone except the Aspect.

"Cyrus?" She asked quietly.

"Mm?"

"Do you..." Moryggan paused, unsure how to proceed. It was the middle of the night. Maybe it wasn't the best time to probe. "Ah, nevermind..."

"....Okay."

An awkward silence filled the room as they both tried to fall asleep. Every time the lightning flashed above, though, Moryggan flinched a bit, a sensation that Cyrus could feel through the bed every time she did it.

"Mory?" He eventually asked, not rolling over. Instead he stared at the far wall, where the armor plate shutters covered his grand window. He felt her grow still, where she had been fidgetting slightly inbetween flinches.

"Yes?"

"...Are you okay over there? It kind of feels like you're on edge."

"Yes... I mean no. I'm not. Okay, I mean." She replied, mixing up her response by accident. She sighed. "It's the storm. Lightning makes me...edgy, I suppose you could call it."

"Is it the sight, or the sound?" Cyrus asked carefully. He didn't like pushing into people's personal space. Not unless he had to.

"Sight. I don't really have an issue with thunder. But the lightning flashes..." She flinched as another bolt lit up the skylight above. A hiss of frustration left her and she drew the blankets up closer to her head. "...I don't like the flash. For reasons."

Cyrus thought for a moment, before sitting up and reaching over to a shelf built into the wall near the bed on his side. From inside, he pulled a length of dark cloth, carefully folded. Item retrieved, he lay back down, but he reached back to dangle the cloth before her, on her side. "... If you want you can try this. I'm a bit of an insomniac, and can be light-sensitive sometimes, so I bought a few blindfolds to use for sleep."

Moryggan blinked at the length of material as it slid from his fingers, exposing the entire length of it. It was only a few inches across, but it was more than two feet long; plenty of material to make an adequate blindfold. She carefully took it from his fingers, and let hers play over the material; to her surprise, it was high-quality silk. Holding it against her eyes, she couldn't see even a bit of light come through; the weave was quite intricate, and the silk itself was multiple layers thick. It was thick, but it was also unbelievably light and soft.

"Thank you." She said softly, considering it, before a thought came to her and a smile quirked her face. "...Never knew you were into that, Cyrus. Sometimes you learn the most interesting things about people."

His response was an exasperated sigh, and she giggled a bit, before sitting up and tying the blindfold on and laying back down.

She waited to see if it'd work, only to smile again when the sound of thunder reached her ears...but the flash had not. "It works. Thank you."

"Not a problem. Just let me know if you need anything else." He sighed tiredly, and closed his eyes, once again trying to sleep.

It wasn't long at all before he felt her shift in the bed again. To his surprise, she shifted backward until her back touched his. It was only the lightest of touches, but he couldn't hold back from moving. It was really more like a spasm, honestly; he hadn't expected skin contact and it surprised the hell out of him. "Uh?..."

"If it's okay..." He heard her say slowly. "Could I ask you to... rub my back, until I fall asleep?"

"Rub. Your back?" Cyrus repeated quietly. "Would that... would that actually help?"

Without looking, he could hear her head shift on the pillow, apparently nodding. "I've always thought about it as reassuring. But I never had anyone who'd do it for me, so..." "Well, if it'll help." He turned over in place, reaching out with one hand. Cyrus paused for a moment, staring at her bare back and neck. He knew on a strictly medical, clinical level that sylvari were essentially plants, but ones that fluoresced in the dark. It was common knowledge, as well as the fact that their skin patterning tended to reflect those of plants as well. It just never occured to him directly, because he'd never been in this situation before. He only stared for a few seconds, but it was enough to set his mind rolling with thought. Moryggan's skin was still the familiar magenta hue, but now he could see that, at least across her back, she had darker, spot-like patterns of deep green, like that of her hair. Or the fact that the sylvari bioluminscence (in her case a gentle mint green) didn't illuminate those spots, instead following pathways both on the surface of her skin, and beneath. Dang. He thought, as he watched her glow pulse slowly in the darkness. That's actually really pretty. Kinda reminds me of some pitcher plants, or something. Or some flowers. His fingers finally touched her back, between her shoulder blades, and to his surprise she shivered a bit, and her glow sped up for a moment. "Ah, sorry. Did I touch the wrong spot?"

"No." Moryggan replied, and shook her head. "No, you just caught me a little off guard, even though I was trying to be prepared for it. Your fingers are a little cool."

"Oh." Cyrus chuckled and then rubbed his fingers, getting them warm, before putting them back on her spine and gently brushing from between her shoulder blades up to the base of her neck. ".... Is that good?"

Moryggan's only response was a quiet, non-verbal mumble of assent, almost a sigh. That made him smirk, as he continued the stroking.

"....back of the neck too..." She eventually murmured, clearly starting to drowse. " 'S'feels nice..." "Glad you're enjoying it." He told her softly.

Over the next few minutes, he continued stroking her back, softly running his fingers up and down, her spine, her neck. At her nonverbal suggestion, he also added a bit of a shoulder rub to what he was doing, eliciting a few more pleasant sighs and murmurs from her. She's almost asleep... He thought, smiling a bit. Maybe when she does I can roll over and get some sleep mys-

That's when the door to his quarters banged open loudly, startling them both. Cyrus snapped up in bed, one hand already reaching for the axe he kept by the bedside in its mount, while Moryggan scrambled to pull the blindfold off, spectral butterflies already floating around her as she prepared to teleport away.

The room was dark, and the doorway was even darker, but it was clear that a small figure was standing in it, foot outstretched in a flat kick. Sleepy, semi-luminscent orange-gold eyes blinked tiredly in the darkness of the doorframe, before a lightning flash cast just enough illumination to reveal the bedraggled asura.

"...Tenna?!" Cyrus was confused. "What the hell?"

Tenna stumbled into the room, scratching at her shirt and blinking dully. She looked around a bit, eyes casting over Moryggan but only lingering for a second or two, before coming back to him.

"....Dreams." She muttered, and shuffled her way to the bed, on the side opposite of where the sylvari lay. The plushie kingfisher griffon in her hand was hooked onto the blanket before she pulled herself onto the bed beside an increasingly confused Cyrus and an alarmed Mory. "Can't sleep...Bad Dreams."

Cyrus's confusion was swept away in an instant, and he scooted away from the edge, giving her room. Immediately he understood, and felt a flash of pity for the little Asura, who proceeded to dig herself under the blankets and wrap both arms around his forearm, burying her face in his upper arm. "Oh.... Right. The dreams."

"Cyrus?" There was a note of irritation in Moryggan's voice, though she tried to hide it. Alarm, confusion, and possibly jealousy warred in her expression as she looked between him and the small being clinging to his arm. "Care to explain this?"

He sighed as he laid back down, propping a pillow under his head as he got comfortable, and gestured for her to do the same. When she'd settled in, turned so she was facing him, that expression still on her face, he shrugged. "Kind of the same story as you...but from a different angle."

"Oh?"

Cyrus reached over to give Tenna's hair a stroke while she continued to bury her face in his arm. "She gets bad dreams. Has had them ever since our days in the Priory. I only found out about them when we ended up on a research mission together and she approached me about it."

Moryggan's expression softened a little. Quietly she asked "Dreams?..."

He nodded, looking up at the skylight as he thought back to the first day an exhausted Tenna finally told him about her problems. "She gets Night Terrors. I won't speak for her about them, but they're for pretty legitimate reasons." His eyes clouded a little as he thought. "Given what the world's gone through in the last few years, it's surprising we don't all suffer from Night Terrors and PTSD." That got a chuckle from Moryggan, where she was resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Well, from the sounds of it, everyone in here right now is suffering from some kind of night ailment."

"Night Terrors, astrapophobia, PTSD, insomnia..." Tenna recited tiredly, eyes closed. "...All'v'us need ther'py."

"So we all end up clinging to each other like wreckage in a storm." Moryggan giggled a bit, and then eyed the plushie Tenna had brought in. "...much like you cling to that cute little toy. It's very cute."

One of Tenna's eyes opened, and she squinted at the sylvari across the bed. "... You makin' fun of me?"

"Not at all! It's adorable." Moryggan's stage smile was clear. "For a moment I forgot you were an adult!"

"...You realize I'm older than you, right?"  Tenna riposted. "As the eight-year-old in the room, by all rights you should be the one with the stuffed toy. Right?...Miss 'Single-Digit-Year-Old'?"

Cyrus winced, not just at the friction between the two, but because both of them were now digging their nails into his arms unconsciously. "Alright, enough of that...Come on you two; just cool down and try and get some sleep."

"Right..."

"Sorry..."

There was some shuffling in the dark as everyone got comfortable. The blindfold went back on Moryggan's face, Cyrus propped up more pillow for himself, and Tenna proceeded to make herself more of an attachment to his arm by tightening her grip.

Because of the change of position, he realized he couldn't stroke Mory's back anymore. At least, that's what he thought until she worked her way under his arm to snuggle against him.

"....Sorry, but I still want that back rub." She admitted, her cheeks luminescing in the dark a little. "This is the only way I could think of that'd free your arm up."

"Uh, that's okay." Cyrus replied, wrong-footed. He hadn't expected her to get in that close at all. I can smell her fragrance. He thought. She smells like...jasmine flowers. "I don't mind."

She smiled, and rest her head against his shoulder while he resumed stroking her back.

"I bet you don't." Came a teasing response from Tenna. "Y'got two ladies all snuggled up to ya. You're as happy as a skritt in a treasure trove."

Cyrus had no answer for that at all, and could only stammer a bit, which made both women laugh quietly.

They were all left to their own thoughts after that.

Moryggan still puzzled over what Cyrus might do for a hobby...or what kind of nightmares Tenna actually had. Come to think of it, just how many times over the last few years had Tenna visited him like this? How often has she been here? She wondered, a tinge of jealousy working its way into her thoughts. For some reason, the thought of those two sharing a bed -- even if it was for clinical, theraputic reasons, and entirely non-romantic -- aggravated her.

What hold did Tenna hold over him, that he would unquestioningly let her in like that? She barely said two words, and he moved over to make room for her!

And why was it making her jealous? It's not like she and Cyrus had any kind of relationship. Well... except for that one time, right after the end of Kralkatorrik... and before that, the time when Mordremoth had tried to use her as a puppet... Come to think of it, do we have any kind of relationship? Her thoughts froze as she tried to puzzle out her feelings.

On the other side of the bed, Tenna just groused internally. She'd all but made herself a permanent attachement to Cyrus, feeling the warmth of his arm, her face buried into it as she tried to drift off. She could even smell him; if anything, thanks to her 'adjustment', her sense of smell was pretty darned powerful these days. It felt like bragging, but she privately bet herself she could identify the soap he'd used, and how long it'd been since his last meal or shower.

Still. Sleep. She was so tired, but it was just not coming.

Stupid nightmares. Stupid Dragon. Stupid anxiety. Stupid sylvari already being here. She grumbled harshly, before sighing. No. Not stupid sylvari. Got no right to say that. Mory is a good sylvari. Shouldn't be mad she's here. And Cyrus is nice and warm...

Stop thinking. Just blank the mind and go to sleep. That's what she needed to do.

Stuck right in the middle, Cyrus really was not going to be able to fall asleep. On the one hand, it felt really nice to have them snuggled up against him like this. Tenna hadn't been far off in her statement -- He WAS happy, in a way. But... he was so very, very anxious. He hadn't remotely prepared for a situation like this, or planned for it, because it... it simply wasn't something that ever happened! How do you prepare for two of your companions, both women, both immensely powerful and deadly, cuddling up to you like you're a teddy bear?!

At the same time he was thinking that, his mind was also whirling with every little thing it could see, smell, feel -- all of it. He was keenly aware of Moryggan against him, of the feel of her skin under his still-stroking hand. Cyrus was very much aware of her luminescence, and how it was waxing and waning. The scent of jasmine flowers -- her scent -- was all he could smell.

On the other side, he was also aware of just how much of his arm Tenna was immobilizing, where his hand and fingers were, and for the Gods' sake, not to even attempt to move any of it at all. From wrist to shoulder on that side, he was effectively pinned down by a warm, grumbly asuran engineer.

Yep. He was not going to be able to sleep tonight. Could tonight get any more absurd? He wondered bleakly.

There was a double-knock on his door frame, right before Verula leaned into view. She wasn't looking into the room as she entered; instead consulting a dataslate as she wedged herself into the door frame.

"Hey Cyrus, I saw your door open, so I figured you got insomnia again. I was wondering if I could talk to you about..." That was when she looked into the room, and blinked in surprise. "...about...?....Uh?"

Of course. Cyrus muttered in his own head, even as Tenna grumbled and buried her head more into his shoulder. Moryggan just raised the blindfold with one hand, before sighing and pulling it back down, resuming her sleep spot.

"Hey Verula." He said tiredly.

"Uh. Yeah. Hey." The charr put the slate away, and leaned in looking closer at the scene. There was a supremely perplexed look on her face. "Am... I interrupting something here? Exactly what's going on?"

Cyrus just shook his head and smiled weakly. "Tonight seems to be a bad night for everyone. And for some reason... we're all gravitating here, I suppose."

"....Seriously?"

He nodded. "I did have insomnia."

Moryggan raised her hand loosely, before letting it drop back to the bed. "Lightning wasn't letting me sleep in my own quarters."

"Bad DREAMS." Tenna offered tersely, not even raising her head. "Tryin'a sleep skritt-dammit!"

Cyrus just shrugged a little. "...So yeah. It kinda turned into a therapy-session-slash-sleepover somehow."

Verula just looked at all of them, staring at them oddly, before stepping backward, slowly, out of the doorframe. "Right.... okay. Tell you what... I'll be right back."

They listened to her tromp off in her heavy plate, before it faded from earshot. A few minutes later, they could hear her coming back, but at a far faster rate. And the sound of heavy armor was missing entirely. "Oh no. What is she...?" Cyrus began, before the charr dam burst into the room, arms filled with extra blankets and pillows. She peeked over the top of the pile, grinning. "You should have invited me! I haven't been to a sleepover since I was a cub in the fahrar!"

"Verula?!"

But it was too late. While chattering about her time at the fahrar and how one of her best memories was a group-sleep during basic training, where the cubs all cuddled together for warmth, she laid out some oversized pillows on either side of the head of the bed. On the side Moryggan was on, she grabbed Cyrus' desk chair and used it to prop some of the pillows up, while on Tenna's side, she just left them piled on the floor until they reached the height of the mattress.

"Okay! Now, everyone sit up!" Verula waved her clawed hands at them. "Come on! Make some room! Scoot forward if you have to! You can lay back down in a moment!"

It was only when they did so that they realized she no longer had her armour on; Verula had a simple black-grey tunic on, exposing her rarely seen pale fur. She clambered onto the bed behind their heads, laying down with her head on the chair-supported pillows. With one hand she pulled one of the blankets she brought over her, while with the other she propped up their pillows against her body. "There we go! You can all lay back now!" She grinned, stretching out.

"O-okay..." They all laid back carefully, gingerly resting their heads on their pillows. To be truthful, it was only Cyrus that had the pillows; Moryggan was using his shoulder as her pillow, and Tenna his other arm. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Verula?"

"Absolutely." She nodded sharply, closing her eyes. "Nothing builds camaraderie like being close together. I would have suggested it a long time ago, but I honestly didn't know how you all would react."

"Well, charr aren't usually this...close to people." Moryggan pointed out, fidgetting to get comfortable. "I mean, I can understand the fahrar, but afterwards, all of you seem to be rather solo."

"Yeah... We are." Verula sounded wistful. "I'll admit that it's something that never stopped bugging me in the Legions. I looked around at all the other races -- all of you -- and saw all these weird, close-knit units. Living together, sleeping together, fraternizing... the whole thing." She shrugged a bit, putting her hands behind her head and staring at the ceiling. "I always wanted to find out what it was like, but being charr... opportunity just wasn't there."

She chuckled, and curled her tail around to tickle Tenna's ear. "At least, not until now I suppose."

Moryggan craned her neck back to 'look' at Verula, despite the blindfold. "I never expected something like that from you, Verula...no offense."

"None taken."

"To think that the big, tough, resolute, serious charr in our midst has a soft side is... Well, it's surprising, but in a pleasant way."

The charr reached down to give her a matronly pat on the head... before reaching over to ruffle Cyrus's hair a bit more roughly. "I'm glad to hear that. But keep it to yourselves, alright? There's reasons I never ever mentioned it among my own kind."

"Duly noted." Cyrus grumbled, unable to reach up and fix his hair. He sighed in resignation. "It's not hard to see why you'd keep that a secret. Anyone that knows anything about Legion charr would get it."

"That said, the next time you all decide to be all collective like this..." Verula yawned and smirked as Tenna grabbed at her tail, pinning it along with Cyrus's arm in her vice-like embrace. "...We'll have to arrange it for in my quarters. No offense, Cy, but your bed is way too small. And since we have no Norn in crew, mine is the biggest bed by far."

"Agreed!" Moryggan nodded primly, snuggling in a bit closer and adjusting the blankets.

"'Nuff talk!" Tenna hissed. She opened one golden eye to glare at the others. "'Nuff talk, more sleepy. Skritting gabby-gums..."

The others chuckled, but the talking finally began to cease.

As they slowly dropped off to sleep, one by one, Cyrus lay there, staring at the skylight, listening to the thunder. The storm was already passing; the thunder was farther off now. In a few hours, it'd be over the mainland.

He listened to the soft sigh of the sylvari next to him. To the tight-lipped murmurs of the asura, that he could feel her lips moving where she pressed her face against his arm. He could feel the rise and fall of Verula's breathing somewhere behind his head, though his pillow was basically on her stomach.

This still feels like some kind of silly joke. He told himself as he started to drift off. A joke of the Gods on me. What are the chances everyone just happened to be here tonight? That we're all okay with this situation?

A small smile made its way to his lips, as he finally felt sleep come upon him. He could live with that, he supposed. It wasn't bad at all. What dreams would this create, though?

[bibibibuckleykinard]

For the 28 fic thingy: We accept the love we think we deserve -Robron 😊 this is a very lovely idea, I hope you'll get enough prompts! Can't wait for February 💖🤗

@fell-down-a-rabbit-hole-of-music Hi lovely! thank you so much for this, this has been one of my favs to write! This fic was inspired by the song "Somewhere Only We Know' by Keane, (hints the title) anyway, I hope you enjoy! sorry if there are any mistakes!

Day Ten: Somewhere Only We Know

Aaron was sixteen when he first met Robert, in the middle of the forest, he had to get out of that house away from his mum, her whole lot, it was getting all too much, so he just started walking. It was late or maybe it was too early, he wasn’t sure which but one thing he was sure of it was way too dark for him to be wondering those masses of trees on his own. In a way it was peaceful. His mind seemed to calm being out in the night air, he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this way, all the anxiety and pain that he held onto 24/7, just seemed to dissipate. Dawn was near, the sky lighting up ever so slightly, that’s when he found it, the spot, a place the trees open to the sky, a calming stream passing by… it almost seemed too good to be true. He found himself sitting on the ground picking rocks at first and chucking them into the running water before eventually just sitting and staring.

“Oh, sorry,” he had heard causing him to jump. He looked over his shoulder to see the tall blonde man “I didn’t think anyone… I didn’t know…” the blonde stammered on.

Aaron pulled on his sleeves wiping the tears from his cheeks.

“Are… are you crying?” He asked concerned.

“No,” Aaron replied defensively with a gulp.

“I can go.”

Aaron didn’t say anything still tugging on his sleeves as he stared off

“Your… your Aaron aren’t you?” He questioned. “You’re Chas’s son, right?” Aaron glanced back, “And if I am?’ He asked finally saying something.

“No, I’m… I wasn’t… I didn’t mean anything by it,” he explained. “You just looked familiar is all and then I remembered,” he explained. ‘Right,” is all Aaron replied.

“Do you mind if I join ya?”

Aaron shrugged, “Do what you want,” he told the blonde. Robert hesitated at first before making his way over to sit next to the teen.

“Name’s Robert, by the way,” the blonde replied.

“Right, I didn’t ask,” Aaron replied.

“Well, I thought it might get awkward, us, sitting here, me knowing who you were,” he explained. ”Beautiful here ain’t it”

“I know why I’m here,” Aaron stated out of the blue. “Question is why are you?” he went on.

“Probably  the same reason you're here," Robert explained

"Doubt it," Aaron muttered.

"I come here all the time," the blonde went on. "Get my best thinking done here."

Aaron scuffed.

"What?" Robert questioned with a smirk. “There’s more to me than my looks you know," he teased.

Aaron laughed.

“So you do know how to smile then?”

“I thought you said you came here to think,” Aaron stated.

“I did kind of,” Robert replied. “Came to say goodbye, really,” he explained.

Aaron frowned, “To a bunch of trees and a creek?” He questioned.

“Used to hike here with my mum all the time before she passed,” he explained. “and seeing as I’m leaving for a while couldn’t go without, well you know.”

“So you’re getting out of this place then?” Aaron asked not sure why he was carrying on a conversation with him.

“Believe me it’s not by choice.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Robert replied before the two fell quiet. “I…. I probably should get going,” Robert stated kind of abruptly.

“You just got here,” Aaron pointed out.

“Yeah, well I’ve got a long drive ahead of me,” he explained making it to his feet. Aaron looked up at the man. “Take care, Aaron.”

Since moving to the village Aaron found himself going back to that creek where he had met Robert. Three years had past and every time he went back to that place a part of him hoped he’d see him again but never did. He didn’t know why he barely knew the man, he had heard stories from Diane and Vic, his step-mum and sister but that was it, but for some reason, he couldn’t get the blonde out of his head. It was midday when he made the hike to the creek, he was having trouble focusing on work, even his uncle could tell, telling him to clear his head before he sacked him.

“What’re the odds,” he heard, turning back to see Robert walking up behind him. He smirked, “You stalking me or something?” Aaron asked.

“If I am I’m a horrible one at best,” Robert replied with a smirk. “Been years hasn’t it?”

“You sitting?” Aaron asked looking back at the man.

“Is that an invite?” He asked making his way over to the other man sitting down next to him.

Aaron laughed, “Vic mentioned you were coming into town for a visit.”

“You know Vic?”

“It’s a small village, Mate, it’s kinda hard not to know everyone,” Aaron explained.

“So you look…. different,” Robert replied.

“What as opposed to the way I did when I was 16?” Aaron questioned. “I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess.”

Robert didn’t say anything.

“You know I can see why you and your mum liked it here some much,” Aaron explained looking up at the trees.

“So you come here a lot then?”

“Anytime my mum or Paddy are doing my head in,” he explained.

“Paddy Kirk?” Robert questioned. “the local Vet?”

“Long story,” Aaron replied.

“I’ve got time,” Robert explained.

“Trust me you don’t want to know.”

“Maybe I do,” he argued. “Plus you’d be doing me a favor,” he explained. “Told Vic and Diane I’d be late, ’traffic’,” he explained.

Aaron hesitated at first staring at the man.

“So who is this Paddy to you and why does he ‘do your head in’?” Robert asked.

“Why do you care?” Aaron asked defensively almost out of instinct.

“The truth?’ He asked.

“No a lie would be preferable,” Aaron replied sarcastically causing Robert to laugh.

“You seem like an interesting bloke, Mr. Livsey,” he explained.

“How?”

“Like you said a small village, plus I talk to Vic and Diane on the phone like twice a month, village gossip tends to pop into the conversation every once and a while,” he explained.

“So what do you know about me?” Aaron asked.

“I know you’re living in the pub with your mum and Vic and Diane now,” he began. “You work for Cain at the garage and you’re apparently dead good at it,” he added.

“Stalker, I told ya,” Aaron replied with a smirk.

Robert laughed, “Guilty I suppose.”

“I heard a lot about you know,” Aaron explained.

“Don’t believe everything-“

“Wouldn’t be sat here if I did,” Aaron explained.

Robert stared at him, “Paddy’s like my Dad,” Aaron explained.

“What?”

“You asked who Paddy was to me, he’s like my Dad,” he explained. “Closest thing to a proper one,” he went on. They sat there for hours talking, it was weird. They didn’t know why they did if they were honest, they were two complete strangers to each other but it felt easy to talk to one another as if they’ve known each other for years. It just felt right. It wasn’t until Aaron got an angry text from Cain that the two decided to go their separate ways.

“I’ll see you at the pub then?” Robert questioned.

“Yeah, I suppose,” Aaron replied.

“Later then.”

“Later.”

The truth though they never did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It would be another three years until the two would meet again, Aaron spending a couple of years in France ‘living’ abroad, but he was back now he had done his time in prison and was out. Free. Years of looking over his shoulders, all of that, done. It didn’t seem real.  His head was still banging from the night before from the celebratory drinks, which is why he chose sneaking out of the pub around lunch to avoid his mother. He made his way up the dirt path, regretting the drinks from the night before instantly, when he saw him, black leather jacket, blue jeans… “This is a change,” He called out stopping dead in his tracks. Robert turned with his hands buried in the pockets of the leather jacket, a grin grew on his face at the sight of the other man.

“There he is,” Robert replied. “The free man.”

“So you heard?” He questioned making his way over to the bloke.

“Hard not too,” Robert explained.

“Word around the Village is that you’re moving back,” Aaron remarked.

“Yep,” Robert replied. “My boss bought Home Farm and decided to move his headquarters here,” he explained. “So it looks like we’ll be roommates.”“Lucky us,” Aaron replied shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “Good to have you back, I guess.”

“Yeah, you too,” Robert replied. “So… word around the village is that you left to protect Adam,” Robert explained.

“And so what if I did?”

“No, nothing,” Robert explained.

“Adam is a mate.”

“Some mate,” Robert retorted.

“Are you gonna start on me and all?” Aaron questioned. “Because I got enough of it before I went to prison from my mum,” he added.

“Sorry.”

“It’s not like anyone around here really missed me anyways,” Aaron replied sincerely.

“You must not think much of your relationships,” Robert replied. “According to Diane, your Mum’s been going out of her mind with worry ever since you’d gone,”  he explained.

Aaron didn’t say anything.

“You know…we accept the love we think we deserve,” Robert told the younger man.

“Thanks, oh wise one,” Aaron replied.

“I reckon that’s why you run away,” Robert explained. “You don’t think you deserve it,” he went on.

“You don’t know me,” Aaron snapped.

“It’s why I’ve been gone for so long… I didn’t think I deserved to be here with my family,” he explained. “Something my dad said to me years ago… thought I was better off on my own,” he went on.

“Maybe you were,” Aaron argued.

“Where you?” Robert asked. “ ‘living’ abroad, on your own?”

Aaron didn’t say anything.

“Thought not,” Robert replied. “ Looks like new beginnings for the both of us, then,” he added.

“I suppose.”

“Reckon it won’t be too bad though if you’re gonna be around,” Robert stated with a smile.

Aaron smirked.

“You know…. the whole time I was gone…” he began turning to face Aaron. “There were to two things I couldn’t get out of my mind,” he explained meeting eyes with Aaron.

“What’s that?” Aaron questioned almost in a whisper as Robert freed his hands from his pockets.

“This place,” he started. “And you…” he explained, his hands meeting the side of Aaron’s face. Aaron pulled back, “I… I should go,” Aaron muttered pulling out of the older man’s grip. Robert quickly stopping him, grabbing him by the arm pulling him into his embrace, his lips attacking Aaron’s, his hands resting on both sides of Aaron’s face. Aaron melted into the kiss, his hands grasping at the other man’s biceps, digging his nails into the leather.

“Wow,” Aaron muttered after the two slowly broke apart.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to do that,” Robert replied his eyes still closed. “Can I buy you a pint?” He asked opening his eyes the two still frozen in place.

“Heads still killin’ me from last night,” Aaron explained.

“In town for lunch then?” Robert suggested. “My car is parked down the way.”

“Could go for a burger,” Aaron simply replied.

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