#and then it immediately recaps all the shit we saw in the fucking movies

[cherry1sblog]

{my collage roommate pt3}

!!YJW!!

Summary:u entered collage everything was going amazing u had your bs with u but there was one problem ur collage roommate... (also there is a plot twist about heeseung and jungwon there not as close as u think)

Warnings: cussing bad grammar 💀 smut‼️‼️‼️‼️

Don’t read if u don’t like smuts 💀 and yuh I think that’s it

Recap:

“What are you doing “

“Dw about it you couldn’t give a fuck less right”

Jungwon held u back locked the door and pinned you to the wall

“What makes u think your going over there princess “

U just looked at him in shock mouth opening to say saying yet nothing came out u got shivers down your spine when u felt his hands go down more to your waist

“What’s wrong your not as potty anymore”

He looked at you and then got close to your ear you could hear him breath against you you felt him nibble on your ear a little before he faced you again

“You should sleep it’s getting late princess “

He just left you there stunned completely stunned and you did what he told you but you just couldn’t sleep not after that so did u get any sleep like how he told you no not at all not one but if sleep

//TIME SKIP TO 2 WEEKS LATER \\

After that party and your interaction with heeseung and jungwon it was awkward kinda but with jungwon he was more flirty now and so when another party came up you knew you had to find the sexy ist dress ever

{at the party}

Jungwon had been eyeing you up and down all night while on the other hand heeseung had been avoiding you all night u were a bit upset at the fact u and heeseung couldn’t be normal anymore so u trired to go up to him that’s until someone tapped u and u saw three girls staring one wearing they exact same black short bidazeld dress

“Hey u must be y/n right “u don’t recognize her at all so u just look up and down and nod “that’s wonderful to know your the ugly-”and right then and there she takes her cup and pores it all over you and now everyone is looking “bitch Jungwons been sleeping with””WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM “u scream seeing jungwon rush thru the crowed looking at u with eyes of sadness and worry but turned to Yuji and got pissed off

“Idk WTF is your problem but even if I am fucking jungwon so what “ everyone’s gasps going around now phones out recording Jungwons just smirking but you find heeseung looking unamused and leaving “ha I knew you were a slut” then jungwon starts to step up to help you “yk what Yuji I think your just posted at the fact jungwon caught you sleeping with his best friend and now he’s fucking me someone’s who’s not actually a fucking whore bag “ she picks her arm up to slap you jungwon stoping her and throwing her hand away while making her stumble a back “ofc the hero comes in to save the day but not what’s in his pants right cause he can never keep it up right “ he gets visibly angry pushing her back “ you know what Yuji say stupid shit like but just cause you didn’t want people to know your a cheating whore who got stds and just likes to use guys for a quick fuck I mean cmon now we both know I’m the best dick you’ve ever had and the girls I did sleep with they all know I left them fucked dumb after “

She looked completely stunned everyone whispering calling her gross a whore a liar a skank a thot a slut but as for jungwon he grabed you and drove you guys both home the entire way you guys said nothing but when u guys did get home he told you to shower and then we could watch a movie as he grabed your alcohol covered hair and kissed your forehead softly

//AFTER //

after your shower so you stepped out but without thinking you got dressed up wearing a see thru tank top and botty shorts you went out to the living room seeing jungwon he was focused on the tv then tired his head slowly “hey y/-“ his eyes were wide looking at you skating every pice of you immediately getting a hard on and it didnt help the fact the your nipples were also hard cause you it was cold “u-um w-w-what movie do you want to watch” he said awkwardly smiling “

After awhile you ended up choosing a horro movie and everyone u would jump letting jungwon see your boobs bounce and close together was not making it easy at all but he finally had had enough so he paused the tv looking at you “what the fuck won why’d you pau-“ he grabbed your hair in a bunch pulling it a little but not to much where it would hurt “you think I wouldn’t notice you wearing something so slutty huh would you u probably wanted me to look and you and you boobs right you slut “he said and started to lower the strap on you tank top letting go of your hair”ju-jungwon idk what your talking ab-“he stuffed your hole boob in his mouth sucking and nibbleing hitting and starting to leave hickys.”tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop tell me you don’t want me to fuck you sensless and fill your little pussy huh”you didn’t say anything but squirming and moaning under his touch “that’s what I thought now why don’t we see your pretty little cunt “he took off your shorts and liked a thin strip on your underwear making you moan and grab his hair “Wonnie please””please what baby mm I barley did anything yet” you didn’t say anything just wined “I need to know what you want baby or I can’t give it to you okay” you just stared at him but gave in cause how could you not “p-please won need you need you to fuck me “ he removed your panties looking at your dripping cunt making you embarrassed closing your legs while looking away “ah ah ah keep them open princess don’t ever feel like you need to hide this pretty Pussy from me “ he opend your legs about to go down on you but you couldn’t wait you didn’t know why you were so impatient “no w-wait”. “What is if baby” “I DONT wanna be probed please just fuck me please jungwon I need you so bad please wonnie “ he took his grey sweats off and his white t Lilly out his dick and he wasn’t wrong but Yuji was he had the prettiest dick ever he was thick and long and pretty so pretty you needed it so bad “what my princess wants she gets “he took his dick out lining up his tip pushing in little by little he stretched you out so you definitely needed some time but your wetness was making it super easy for the both of you “baby I’m gonna move now okay tell me if it hurts “he started thrusting in you feeling so good “ah jungwon omg so good please faster “he cupped your tits in his handing pumping in and out of you playing with your nipples and ther going to you big leaving hickys on you you were on cloud 9 “ugh baby your pussy feels so g-good this pussy is mine only mine “y-yes omg don’t stop please “ he was going harder making you a moaning mess atp you didn’t care if the neighbors heard you cause this was they best fuck of your life ever “no one’s g-gonna fuck this tight little pussy like I can huh” “all mine no one else is “ you could tell he was close and so were you you were so close if all felt to good “o-omg wonnie i CANT hold it f-Fels to good I-I’m gonna cum “ he kissed you sticking your forwards together intertwining fingers “it’s okay baby cum for me and with that you came undon leaving u speechless you swear you saw white feeling your cum gushing out of you but jungwon still hadn’t came leaving you starting to get a bit senator but you could tell he was so close to “ah y/n I’m so close where do you want me to come “ “please cum in me please “ you were getting close to your second orgasam hearing jungwon moan was sending you “ah ah I’m gonn- and with that you and him both came you for you second time and leaving you both outta breath panting and sweating he pulled out and sat next to you giggling a little “what’s so funny “you said outta breath “ nothing just that we have to go clean up now “”ughhhh I don’t wanna can we js go cuddle “ “it’s okay I’ll clean up my baby “ “ I love you jungwon “ “ me too y/n I love you so much “

//after shower//

You and jungwon just spent the rest of the night cuddling while you fell asleep on his chest as he drew shapes on your skin ……………….

**************

LET ME KNOW IF YOU GUYS WANT A PART FOR FINAL FOR THIS OR IF YOU GUYS WANNA END IT LIKE THIS SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS EXAMS I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THIS TYYY

[oimoi-op]

New Black Widow teaser asking me “How much do you really know about the elusive Natasha Romanoff?” like bitch how the fuck am I supposed to know anything about this character when she got sidelined in every fucking movie until they decided to kill her off for Maximum Man Pain™ in Endgame?

[bular]

Welcome to Live Commentary

I had no one to talk to while watching the movie and I hate being alone with my thoughts so I wrote everything down in my notes app. It's not coherent! Enjoy!

Aw yeah 1.5 seconds of Bular that is all I needed! Might as well stop now I've seen my boy I'm satisfied.

Why is there a nearly 4 minute recap as if I haven't watched the show at least 50 times. I should be the one giving the recap.

The beginning felt a bit forced to me but maybe that's just me? Like they just tried to squeeze too many things into a small timeframe without any buildup, it just didn't really work. Congrats on the engagement! This is my OTP so I'm very happy! But it came out of nowhere.

Nari in Douxies body is so wrong and I love it and hate it at the same time (positive)

Eli is BIG. I knew he was gonna be tall but I was not prepared for that chiseled face. Or the fact that he stepped off the ship without glasses? I wear glasses and I would not choose to step off a spaceship blind.

OkAY who had mpreg on their bingo card?

AAARRRGGHH actually said a full sentence 🥺 there is no heterosexual explanation for this scene and I'm here for it

Arcadia being the center of the universe really does make a lot of sense. I hate how much sense it makes. Despise it.

Strickler in a Christmas sweater is something i didn't know I needed. Jim's jacket too but that's just adorable, Jim's adorable. Oh sweet baby you're about to get fucked over so bad.

Love seeing Barbara actively participating in battle too. Good for her! Power family!!

Where are the kids tho? Is NotEnrique babysitting? Either that or they hired the girl from the Incredibles movie.

Nomura is so talented I love seeing her fighting on the good side. I can't explain it but I love digitigrade legs they're just so pretty?? Aesthetically pleasing??? Fuck yeah, legg! I could watch Nomura run around and be badass all day.

WAIT NO OH SHIT HOW DARE YOU FUCK

STRICKLER DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOT YOU TOO THAT'S TOO FUCKING RUDE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DEAD RIGHT WE SAW NO BODY

Barbara does not deserve this I refuse to accept it. He's fine he'll be back they wouldn't kill two Changelings at once. Also Nomura is with Draal now I take no criticism.

So my favorite characters were Bular, Draal, Gunmar and Angor. And before this movie I always half-joked that everyone I love dies, how I still like Strickler and Nomura but apart from them all of my faves were killed in the very order of favoritism. AND NOW LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOVE A CHARACTER. MY LOVE IS TOXIC.

OKAY I LOVE GUN RO- WAIT NO I DON'T LOVE HIM FUCK ABORT ABORT

It's great tho omg

I didn't realize it was Gun Robot when I saw it in the trailer this is amazing

Okay but imagine you're chilling in your trollmarket minding your own business when some misfit group of strangers waltzes in, steals your favorite shiny and celebrates your death before running off

"I AM GUN ROBOT" IS THE HORN LMAOOO

Nana better show up at some point to reunite with her boytoy, I'll cancel this entire franchise otherwise

Something bad is going to happen to Toby isn't it. He's getting too much screentime

Jim's hand got DEEP FRIED

ARCHIE NO

We can play Scrabble okay if they don't free them (which they must) I want an after credits scene of them playing scrabble

Douxie and Nari's bond 🥺🥺🥺

Nari pls just say what you fuckin mean the world is ending

Oh god is she going to remember killing Nomura oh nooo

Claire don't make the portal you will die again. Your hair gon be white all over

EVERYONE AVOIDING THE SCHOOL JUST RIGHT THERE LMAO RIP

I love how Darci is just with the school bus. Civilian girlfriend. But also love how the world is ending and Coach is like "fuck that I'm gonna teach these kids"

Does he know his son is pregnant

"Going back to the city where it's safe" buddy have you been to that city

Whatever happens, Nari has the coolest looking titan. Giant four legged gremlin. I'd adopt him.

WAIT SHE CAN FEEL THE PAIN?

Me: oh i love that titan

The titan 5 seconds later:

Did Nari just fucking die what the FUCK

Oh of COURSE the pages are stuck together RIGHT THERE

Seriously tho how do you not notice an entire nougat nummy in a book

Wait so Arcadia has another heartstone? Or OH SO IT'S ALIVE. OKAY GREAT. GUNMAR COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT HUH

Love how the Heartstone has been dormant/dead for months and apparently heard Blinky say it's alive and decided to wake up RIGHT THEN

Finally they're evacuating the city. This is like, the third apocalypse there. About time.

Okay so you can't pull Excalibur from the rock, but you CAN carve out the stone. Couldn't you just carve it off the sword as close as possible and like. Use that? Just swing the whole damn rock around?

God i can NOT get over Steve's pants. I mean I read a spoiler he was gonna be pregnant but I thought it was a prank or shitpost. I did not see this coming and I am never going to be over it. I love how he and Aja just roll with it and nobody else even cares. They've seen weirder stuff. So he's pregnant now. Whatever.

Jim's hand is bandaged and his ribs still hurt. I love that they're actually consistent with his injuries. I mean sucks for him but hell yeah for hero that doesn't always win!

Okayyy here comes the heartstone. Why not!

IS HE IN LABOR

So if you kiss an Akiridion 7 times you will have 3-5 babies in a few hours. How are they not overpopulated?? Also Aja couldn't have WARNED STEVE BEFOREHAND?

Eli is so supportive omfg

So uh where are the babies gonna come out of? I'm not into mpreg how does this usually work

OH STEVE THANKS FOR ASKING MY QUESTION

Oh good thing he happens to have 8 friends still alive. Otherwise this would've never worked. Nomura had to die otherwise there would've been 10 of them.

Why is everyone bowing to Jim? Did they rehearse this?

Stuart if you hadn't taken a bathroom break you would've thrown off the math and doomed the world. That was a poop of fate my man

Ahhh the signature quote. Where did Douxie and the Akiridions learn it? Did they rehearse this too? It's really cliché but I do like it tbh

If Strickler were dead we'd see more Barbara right?

WOOO BLINKY DRIVING

Ah Jim just used she/her for Bellroc! Finally we're learning some pronouns. I've been wondering this whole time.

MY VIRGIN EYES. WHAT IS GOING O N

How are they not dying with all this lava?

She really just yeeted Varvatos

Did Claire just tell AAARRRGGHH to jump off the titan and he did it without question

I want to say I like Stuart and want him to have more screentime, but I won't say it because I don't want him to die

Jim's poor ribs

Toby can drive yoooo

Tobyyy you're scaring meeeee

So did they really need the different stone or was the amulet just waiting for Jim to choose death over giving up

I saw the armor before but it looks VERY COOL

Also I didn't mention this before but I love that they cut Merlin's name from the incantation. Good for them.

Toby you lost your helmet noooo

For real tho I'm terrified for Toby rn. I saw a comment somewhere earlier that just said "Toby no" with no context and I am AFRAID

So do Bellroc's eyes work after all? I thought she was blinded back in Wizards in the past.

DID SHE JUST FUCKING STAB MY BOY

TOBY YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE GET OUT THE TRUCK

Bellroc maybe screaming "i'm powerless" in front of your enemy isn't the best idea

She sploosh

DID JIM SURVIVE THAT FALL AND ALSO IS THE TACO TRUCK OKAY

How is he lifting Claire like that buddy you have bruised ribs and just got stabbed

ELI HI CAN WE SEE THE KIDS

SEVEN KIDS! AND ELI JR I LOVE IT

This show really loves to give people more than the recommended amount of babies with no warning huh

She immediately knows which one is Eli Jr 🥺 okay listen I'm not the biggest fan of comic relief sideplot surprise babies, but I have to admit they're cute. Cute couple. Throuple. Eli is in on this. He even has a Junior.

I TOLD YOU WHERE'S THE DAMN TACO TRUCK NANA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND NEITHER WILL I

Oh yea he better fuckin be alive I will commit murder

HE BETTER FUCKIN BE ALIVE BITCH

FUCK YOU

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CHILD HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DIE IT'S ILLEGAL

JIM IS GONNA LOOK DOWN AT THE GREEN GLOWING BITCH AAARRRGGHH CONVENIENTLY THREW THERE AND SEE HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHING

YEAH USE THE SWORD TO UNDEAD HIM! THAT'S HOW YOU USE SWORDS!

Unbecoming Part 2

So is Jim just gonna Groundhog Day it until everyone is fine? There's only 13 minutes left we're gonna need a bigger movie

Also I screamed so much about everyone's death and now everyone reading this after they already saw the whole thing is gonna shame me for clowning huh

The scene where Blinky is giving his goodbye speech, there are no babies and Steve has a round belly? Did he reabsorb them?? I mean I know Jim is about to un-birth them but he hasn't started yet

JUST HOW FAR BACK IS HE PLANNING TO GO

WAIT HOLD UP EXCUSE ME WHAT

Oh they did NOT just do that. I though he was just gonna go back to like, the start of the movie maybe. Not all the way

Imagine being in your early twenties with as much trauma as this kid has and having to pretend you're 16 again

Somewhere Unkar is complaining because "oh sure NOW it's a good idea"

I know Jim is wondering where Toby is because he was there before. But before, he made an entire meatloaf AND did his homework before leaving the house, so honey maybe wait a minute

For a second I thought Toby wasn't gonna be there and Jim would return to the right time. But there he is!

Alright so they're in school now, did they take the canal and just didn't mention the amulet on screen or did they pass it as if the Unbecoming episode hadn't been that traumatizing? Jim you know what happens when you ignore it

Jim maybe you're being too obvious here lmao

Soooo. Anyway. These whole past years I've rewatched this show over and over and over again are cancelled now?

OKAY AT LEAST WE SAW NANA FOR A SPLIT SECOND THAT'S IRONIC TIMING

So we get the quote again. And Trollhunter Tobias is nice. Cool. Cool AU I mean, but I don't know. I don't knowwww. I've been way too invested in everything to just accept that it never happened?? So uh. Hm. How about this.

Strickler survived because fuck you, and Toby also survived and just has scars now. Maybe a wheelchair but he's fine, also he can use the Warhammer for super speed and make it awesome once he's used to it. Archie and Charlie get freed once they rebuild the bridge (and they were playing scrabble to pass the time). Nomura is still dead because she died on screen and I can't really deny that but she's with Draal so it's okay. Everyone is traumatized but they'll be fine. NotEnrique is still babysitting 500 babies and Steve is about to bring 7 more.

In summary, I reject Groundhog Day ending but everything else was great, as long as it actually happened. It was a good movie. But you can't just cancel years of passion. Having the prospect of a million "canon AUs" sounds great for writing but at the same time nooo you can't do that he didn't have to go back THAT far HHHHH

I liked the movie. It was a great watch and a satisfying end to a franchise, but I gotta say I do not fancy the ending of it so I will from now on be in denial. I honestly feel kind of betrayed that this show was my whole life for so long, I learned every smallest fact, and they basically deleted it from existence. I know what they were going for, I think, but no thank you I will be going with my own opinion. Still gonna rewatch it a few dozen times though ✌🏻

And that concludes my live commentary that was supposed to be a small handful of notes. Feel free to shame me for my opinions. See ya!

[365days365movies]

March 16, 2021: Legend (1985) (Part One)

Hi, Tim Curry. How are you doing today?

Yeah, that tracks. Been a while, always good to see you. Man, actually, when is the last time I saw you? Clone Wars? I think so, although I don’t know if that really counts. I think, in person, it was...oof, Criminal Minds in 2012?

Yeah, dude, you were FUCKING TERRIFYING, HOLY SHIT. I feel like people don’t talk about that performance as much, but you were goddamn amazing, buddy. Sorry I didn’t open with this, but...you were my childhood, Ti. Like, from Clue to The Wild Thornberrys to Muppet Treasure Goddamn Island GOD I LOVE YOU IN THAT MOVIE TOO

Amazing. And let’s not forget Ferngully, of course. Look...I love you, OK? You’re beautiful. And I know that recently, you’ve been through a lot of health struggles, and I wish you the absolute best, I sincerely do. You’re the best, man. Hang in there. 

Actually, while I have you...settle a bet for me, I’ve got it with myself. Have I...have I already seen this movie? Because I feel like I might have, but I don’t think so. It’s like the Mandela effect, y’know? I mean, if I’d seen it before...would I not remember you in this get-up?

I mean...come ON, RIGHT? I know FOR A FACT that I’ve attempted to watch this movie with friends before, and that didn’t happen. Then, I tried to watch it on my own, and that didn’t pan out because I’m pretty sure I fell asleep after 15 minutes. It had been a long day, I’m sorry. But...I don’t get it, Tim Curry? What the hell happened?

Well...whatever. I guess we’re going to take care of this ONCE AND FOR ALL. Now, who directed this movie?

Oh shit, REALLY? RIDLEY SCOTT! Kick-ass, he did Alien, and this - 

And then this - 

OOH, and this!

Oh, and we can’t forget this!

And also this!

And...and this...

...And this...

Oh. Fuck, and this.

...

OH GOD STOP I FORGOT ABOUT 1492

...OK, this could either be a very good movie, or a very VERY bad one. I mean...it’s got Tim Curry in it, so it can’t be that bad? And hey, Scott was on a hotstreak at the time, right? What could go wrong? Let’s do this!

SPOILERS AHEADOH FUCK IS THAT TOM CRUISE

Recap (1/2)

...Ahem. Um. OK. Maybe I imagined that image, or it’s from a different movie. Cool. Let’s keep going, nothing to see here.

The opening text scroll tells us that once, long ago, before time was even a concept, the world was shrouded in darkness. But Darkness hid from the light, which brought to the world laughter, love, and...unicorns. Yeah, really. Unicorns harbor the Light in their souls, as the most mytsical of all creatures. They’re safe from Darkness, and can only be found by a pure-hearted mortal, like Jack, a denizen of the forest. He is loved by Lily, and both believe only in goodness. But not for long, as a struggle for the balance between Darkness and Light is about to commence, and in that struggle will be born...Legend (1985), dir. Ridley Scott.

As the opening credits roll and confirm that Tom Cruise is in fact in this movie, I take a brief moment to vomit lightly.

At night, walking through the forest, there is a creature with some...bad-ass makeup and costume design GODDAMN. Like, yeah, that category’s already looking good. Anyway, the creature goes through the forest, and finds a den of fire and torture, all lorded over by a horned man, who speaks Mother Night, asking for her protection.

This is Darkness (Tim Curry), and...fuck me, holy shit, I GET it. Like, this dude began an entire movement and aethestic, and it makes a fuckton of sense. THis dude must have given birth to, like 10,000 goth children, goddamn. Anyway, he commands his goblin henchman Blix (Alice Playten) to find a unicorn and kill it, and to bring its horn back to him. Blix, the rhyming cretin, asks how to find them. And Darkness answers with the perfect lure: innocence.

That innocence is symbolized by Princess Lily (Mia Sara), a maiden cavorting happily about the wood, without a care in the goddamn world. She visits her friend Nell (Tina Martin), and briefly has a vision of winter in the cottage. Nell notes that it’s time for her to grow up a bit, but Lily’s only concerned with finding her sweetheart, Jack.

And Jack is...well, Jack o’ the Green (Tom Cruise) is a young man who lives in the forest, with his animal friends. An innocent himself, he’s basically Peter Pan, with Lily playing his Wendy. Except, well, they’re not THAT innocent, because they, like, IMMEDIATELY make out on the forest floor. Which has to be uncomfortable, real goddamn talk.

Jack teaches Lily to speak with the birds, then takes her to see something wonderful and rare. All the while, they’re being followed by Blix, who believes that their innocence will attract the mystical unicorns. And, uh, yeah, Blix is entirely correct about that, because here they come! And they’re making whale noises?

Apparently, as long as unicorns roam the Earth, evil can never harm the pure of heart. They express only love and laughter, and dark thoughts are unknown to them. Which Lily takes as an opportunity to go hang out with them, despite Jack’s urgings.

But the unicorns seem receptive to her, to Jack’s...frustration? He just kinda leaves her behind for some reason. And Blix takes the opportunity to hit one of the unicorns with a poison dart, causing them to be startled and storm off. Lily flees into the forest, and is immediately scolded by Jack, saying that what she did is forbidden by magic forest law. OK. She’s as confused about that as I am, but she still apologizes to him.

The two kiss, and Lily makes a promise to him and the universe, I guess, and says that whomever finds her ring will have the right to marry her. She throws it, and Jack IMMEDIATELY JUMPS OFF A CLIFF AFTER IT GODDAMN MY MAN! Lily screams hysterically after him for...some reason?

However, this isn’t great timing, because Blix and the goblins have caught up to the poisoned unicorn, and they cut off its horn, immediately plunging the forest into a fierce winter, similar to what Lily saw in her vision. Jack, in the river looking for the ring, is trapped underwater, beneath ice. By the time he breaks out, Lily’s already run away, to Nell’s place. Nell is frozen solid for some reason, and the goblins are also coming off after Lily for...some reason.

Lily hides, as Blix and his two companions Pox (Peter O’Farrell) and Blunder (Kiran Shah) exposit the whole thing so that Lily’s caught up on her fault in all of this, and once they leave, she promises to make it right. No idea how she’s gonna do that, but sure.

Jack, meanwhile has collapsed in the woods and snow. He’s woken up by a spirit of the forest named Honeythorn Gump (David Bennent), who is...interesting. He asks Jack what in the FUCK happened, and Jack admits that Lily, a mortal, touched a unicorn, which is apparently the ultimate no-no. Gump’s pissed, but the ACTUAL SECOND that Jack says that it was for love, Gump’s just...totally cool with it? They have a drink with Brown Tom (Cork Hubbert), and agree to help him find Lily...like, immediately.

They quickly find the dead unicorn, and yeah, the unicorn is FUCKING DEAD after losing its horn, and its mate shows up to mourn. Jack and Gump mourn with the magical creature, which looks REALLY BIG for a horse, Jesus. She stays with her fallen mate, and Jack goes back to the group, delivering the news that they’re cursed? No idea where that came from. 

To lift the curse and get the horn back, they must find a champion bold in heart and spirit. Gump IMMEDIATELY nominates Jack, and takes him to some cave where he can find weapons and armor. He’s guided by Oona (Annabelle Lanyon), a fairy who is LITERALLY NAVI FROM ZELDA, I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH

Oona reveals her true form to him secretly, then notes that she could be anything he wants her to be, even his heart’s desire. COMIN’ ON A LITTLE STRONG THERE OONA. Anyway, in the vault of golden weapons and armor and...gold, Jack grabs a sword.

Meanwhile, Lily follows Blix and his group, where Blix uses the magic of the Unicorn Horn (or the Alicorn) to demonstrate his newly found prowess. But as he’s claiming to take over Darkness’ kingdom. Just then, Darkness shows up and claims the Horn for himself, and kills Blunder when he talks back. Darkness asks whether or not the Unicorns are both dead, and reveals that his power will not be complete until the female Unicorn is also dead.

Lily runs off and makes her way back to the Unicorn and Brown Tom, and warns them of the Goblin’s approach to kill the Mare. Brown Tom, who I think is either a leprechaun or a brownie, fends the Goblins off, while Lily and the Mare...DON’T RUN? FUCKING RUN YOU ASSHOLES!

Tom gets shot by an arrow...in the hat. He immediately falls dead, despite being totally fine, the dick. And Lily and the mare are captured, BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T FUCKING RUN WHEN THEY SHOULD’VE. Jack, Gump, and the leprechaun/gnome/brownie/halfling Screwball (Billy Barty) come to “rescue” him. He tells them that Lily’s alive, and Gump takes Jack to the Great Tree for the next step, accompanied by Screwball and Tom. There, they find...

WOW. THAT SHIT IS COOL. This is Meg Mucklebone *Robert Picardo), and this thing is absolutely my favorite thing in the movie so far...AND THEN JACK KILLS HER IMMEDIATELY. JAAAAAAACK, WHAT THE HELL, she was really cool. Goddamn it.

The group gets to the great tree, then falls into an underground prison, where Blunder is also held. The group is NOT where they want to be, right in Darkness’ lair. Nice job, Gump. In the prison, the guys, now joined by fellow brownie/dwarf/gnome thing Blunder, hide from one of Darkness’ men, as he takes Blunder away to the torture table.

Stuck in the cell, Jack suggests that Oona go and get the keys. However, her ability to transform into a humanoid form was a secret between her and Jack, and she’s upset by him revealing it. Gump’s also upset by the secret in and of itself, but she defends that her secrets are hers to keep. You tell him, Oona!

She then says that she’ll only do what Jack wants if he kisses her, GODDAMN IT OONA. NOW IS NOT THE TIE TO GO ALL TINKERBELL IN HOOK! He gives her a little peck, but she transforms into Lily to make him give her a real kiss, dear lord that is CREEPY, OONA! Jack almost kisses her, but refuses at the last second. He notes that human hearts can’t be won over that way, which greatly upsets Oona. Still, she ends up getting the keys for them regardless, and sets them free.

And at this point, we are halfway through, so FUCK IT. PART TWO! See you there.

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

hello hello hello!  and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural. 

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12.  I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round.  HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance,  and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad).  Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation.  **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?)  We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily] 

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY 

How do you know all that?

DEAN 

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY 

John Winchester.

DEAN 

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME.  Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”).  The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.  

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas.  I HATE it here in super hell.  Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt.  This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines).  We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand.  That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment?  In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment.  This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John.  That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean.  Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument.  That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN.  We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried.  The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone.  The part that helped Amara.  The part that loves Cas.  And that’s why Amara brought her back.  

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN 

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL 

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL 

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN 

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth - 

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean. 

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok?  Ok.  You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT 

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people.  Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have 

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!  

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks. 

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN 

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN 

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.  

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL 

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY 

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN 

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY 

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY 

And you took it?

GREGORY 

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN 

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY 

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY 

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY 

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that.  Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.  

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing.  You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.  

[scapegrace74-blog]

No Light, No Light (Claire’s Anthem)

A/N  To recap where we’re at in the Metric Universe, Jamie and Claire are living separately while their building gets repaired after a fire.  Jamie has confessed to loving Claire, and she hesitantly agreed to give a romantic relationship between them a chance.  The dates have gone well.  Really well.  Maybe a bit too well...  Rated M, because they deserve it after all I’ve put them through.

All other parts of the Metric Universe are available on my AO3 page.

The amazing song by Florence + The Machine (another guest artist!) that inspired the title and features in a few lines can be heard here: https://youtu.be/HGH-4jQZRcc

August 24, 2018, Scottish Highlands, Scotland

Outside the train, the landscape slid by in an emerald smear.  It had been raining earlier, but as the sun dipped westward it broke from beneath the clouds, setting the greens afire.  The view was violently beautiful, but Claire stared instead at her face, pensive and wan, reflected in the smudgy window.  There was an almost laughable lack of connection between herself and the taciturn man to her left.

It hadn’t started out that way.  After a near-idyllic summer dedicated to their mutual enjoyment of each other’s company, this trip to Scotland was meant a culmination of sorts.  A validation that they were moving towards something momentous.  A delineation between their past as friends and their future as... something more.   

Jamie had first mentioned the idea in passing while they waited in line for a gelato in the shadow of the Gherkin on a hot July day.

“T’would be braw tae introduce ye to Lallybroch before ye return tae yer studies, Sassenach,” had been his exact words.  Claire had learned to appreciate Jamie’s deft navigation of the shoals of her caution.  An invitation to meet his family would have garnered an immediate negative response, but an invitation to his family home received an ambiguous hum.

Several weeks later, they were searching Netflix for a movie they could agree on while cat-sitting for Joe and Gayle.  Said cat was lounging on the sofa cushions between them when Jamie casually raised the ante.

“Tomorrow I’ll be buyin’ my ticket home for the August bank holiday.  The trains north will be packed, so I was thinkin’ I’d grab a second seat.  Just in case, ye ken.  T'is refundable, sae there’s no harm.”

By the end of the evening, the cat had fled the room, Claire’s shirt was down to its last button, Jamie’s summer tan couldn’t mask the flush of blood that raced beneath his skin, and the idea of spending a weekend away together sat like an unopened present on the closet shelf of their minds.

Last Monday, between her day shift and his graveyard, they had met for coffee to discuss the details of moving back into their flat.

“Jamie, my name is on this lease.”  Claire set down her cup rather abruptly on the table, spilling a few hot drops over her fingers.

“Aye, tis.  I asked the landlord tae include us both.  Considering all the delays an’ the nuisance, tis the least they could do.”  Pausing to hand her a napkin, he balanced his fingertips over her scalded knuckles.  It’s yer flat too, Sassenach.  No matter what.”

The gravity of the moment hung heavy in the air.  Neither spoke for a while, letting the hum of ambient conversation dull the edges of their nerves.  Claire slid an unsigned copy of the lease into her satchel.

“I, uh, I ken this mayna be the best time tae be bringing this up, but I’ll be away home come Thursday, back on Monday.  There’s still a ticket in yer name, should ye wish tae come wi’ me.”

She looked at him then, so earnest and open and hopeful, the sunlight from the street burnishing his hair coppery-gold.  He’d crept in like a thief, disturbing the tidy boxes of her life and leaving traces of his passage on her heart.  A thief who gave instead of took, and whose only crime was to love without recompense.

“What would it mean, if I went to Scotland with you?” she asked quietly.

“It would mean everything to me,” he admitted.

That hadn’t been what she was asking, but it was her answer all the same.

The day before they were due to depart, Claire had been eating a late afternoon snack in the hospital cafeteria when a familiar tall form in running gear caught her eye.  She couldn’t suppress the frisson of delight she felt as he made his way towards her table, a whiplash of appreciative female gazes following in his wake.

His infectious smile of greeting faltered and then disappeared as he caught sight of what she was reading.

Oh.

The monthly rental property magazine had been left behind on her table, but she’d be lying to say she was browsing it purely out of idle curiosity.  The weight of seeing her name next to Jamie’s on their new lease had been pressing down on her since Monday.  

On the one hand, it was a tremendous relief - no longer could the outcome of their courtship render her homeless - not that she could imagine Jamie ever being as cruel as Frank.  But it also implied a commitment, a state of permanence between them, that quite frankly scared the shit out of her.  And so she had been perusing her options, not with any serious intent, but because it gave her comfort to know they existed.   Jamie had dropped by unannounced at the worst possible time.

A crowded cafeteria wasn’t the place to start making excuses, so after a stilted exchange about meeting the next day at Euston Station, Jamie departed, a small storm cloud of ire floating above his head.  

By the time they met the following morning, that cloud had darkened to a gale, blowing all hope of casual conversation before it.  Jamie’s disposition was generally sanguine, but when he put his mind to it he could glower like the Viking gods he resembled.  It made for a silent journey.

“Ye can just go ahead and say it, Claire.”  When it came, his voice was diminished by resignation.

“I’m curious what it is you want me to say,” she replied.

“That ye willna be moving back inta the flat next month.  If that means we willna be seeing each other at all, well, I’d rather ye tell me before I go introducing ye tae my family as my girlfriend like a fool.”

When she turned to face this accusation, the first thing she noticed was the absence of light behind his typically radiant blue eyes.  It neutralized the acid on her tongue.

“Those are awfully dire conclusions to be drawing from some rental adverts, my lad,” she quipped.  Then, almost begging.  “You promised to be patient with me.”

“Aye, I did.  But ye also promised tae try, Claire.  I canna help but feel that ye’re just marking time, waiting for me to fuck up badly enough that ye can say, well, that’s that then, another disappointment, and retreat tae yer solitude.”

It wasn’t far from the truth, although she’d never have stated it so baldly.  As with every emotional conversation she had with Jamie, his words left her feeling naked and exposed.  He saw her so well.  She didn’t doubt the sincerity of his love for her, because what else kept a man coming back once all the ugliness was on display?

“I hear what you’re saying, Jamie.  I think you know this isn’t easy for me.  Just being here with you on this train, Christ.  I almost called you twice this morning to say I wouldn’t be coming.”

“But ye didna.  Why?”

“Because the only thing that scares me more than being with you,” her voice rose in pitch, “is being without you.  I’m here, but it’s taking bloody everything I have.  So please do not ask me for more,” she pleaded.

A strong arm wrapped around her shoulder and she came to nestle against him willingly.

“I would never ask ye for that, a ghraidh.  I only want ye tae learn tae let go of yer fear, as it serves for nought.  I learned that the hard way with my accident.  T’wasn’t anything I earned nor deserved, but it happened nonetheless.  We canna chose if we win or lose.  We can only chose how we fight.”

She listened to his heart, steadily thumping beneath the muscles of his chest.  To think, he could have been taken away before she came to know the dimensions of its strength.  It sent a chill down her spine.

“I ne’er told ye, that first night we met a’ the pub, how ye reminded me of a fierce lioness.  All golden eyed and imperious.  An’ when I saw those same eyes, peering at me o’er a surgical mask the night of the blast, I understood I would live, because ye did.  Ye’re a fighter, Sassenach.  I kent it from the start.”

“God, Jamie, I was an utter shambles at the time,” she confessed.  His faith in her was overwhelming.

“Aye.  But ye were goin’ down swinging.”

***

Ian Murray, Jamie’s best friend and brother-in-law, met them at the train station in Inverness.  As they navigated the country roads, his conversation with Jamie had the ease and teasing short-hand of timeworn friendship. Claire was content to sit quietly and listen, the inconclusive discussion on the train looming large in her peripheral vision.

It was well past dark as they arrived at Lallybroch, giving the structure an air of timelessness as yellow light bathed the courtyard from windows high above.  The battered wooden entrance swung open to the welcoming chaos of barking dogs, children’s laughter and lilting Gaelic voices spilling into the night.  

Claire hung back, pretending to help Ian with their bags as Jamie jogged forward to embrace a dark-haired woman who barely reached his shoulders, lifting a giggling toddler from her hip and high into the air.  The dogs spun around his legs, practically tripping him as he tried to climb the stairs and answer his sister’s rapid fire questions all at once.  Halting before the door, he handed his nephew over before Jenny disappeared inside, the dogs at her heels.

Feeling absurdly nervous, Claire mounted the stairs and accepted his outstretched hand.

“So, this is it?” she asked inanely.

“Aye, this is it.  Welcome to my home, Sassenach.”

***

They’d eaten on the train, so after a hasty introduction to the rest of the family and a promise to become better acquainted over breakfast, Jamie and Claire headed upstairs.  It occurred to her on the second landing that she had no idea where he expected her to sleep.   Their status as temporary lodgers in other people’s homes back in London had made the question moot.  

Visceral memories of their increasingly heated goodnight kisses caused Claire to trip on braided rug.  Jamie turned as she was righting herself.

“Aye, well, here we are.  The lavatory is jest across the hall.  If ye need anything, the laird’s room is up these stairs.”

“The laird’s room?  Wait, who’s the laird in this story?” she was momentarily distracted from her agitation by this unforeseen detail. 

“Well, me.  But dinna get any grand illusions.  Tis only a leftover title from when Clan Fraser ruled o’er these parts before the Rising.”

Her mouth was moving before she fully considered her next words.

“And does that make me your lady?”

Instead of laughing off her glib comment as she hoped he would, Jamie’s face grew somber.

“Nah.  Tha’ position is presently unfilled.  In this house, the laird sleeps next tae his lady, always.  G’night tae ye, Sassenach.”  And with a soft kiss that barely ghosted her lips, Jamie retired to bed.  Alone.

***

The next two days were a glimpse into a way of living whose existence Claire had previously discredited.  Communal mealtimes, where each family member had an assigned role, from buttering the bread (Jamie’s three-year old nephew and namesake) to clearing the table (Ian, and by their second meal, Claire).  Morning and evening chores that left the adults drowsy and smelling slightly of the chicken coop.  Siblings bickering, slamming doors and then laughing about it by suppertime.  Outings to local landmarks in the rain, a cheerful row of matching Wellingtons and wax cotton jackets tramping along well-worn paths.  Visits to neighbours, carrying a Pyrex dish of some culinary offering and returning four hours later, stuffed to the gills and carrying a different Pyrex dish loaded with leftovers.

Seeing Jamie take his place at the centre of this family dynamic was a shock.  She’d only ever known him in an urban setting, where he was one man among millions; noteworthy for his decency, his peculiar fondness for blood pudding, and because he was hers.  At Lallybroch, he grew before her eyes, taking on new dimensions that challenged and teased her understanding of him.

This was his concept of home.

This was his template for love.

***

On Sunday afternoon, the clouds had lifted to reveal a robin’s egg sky.  Claire accompanied Ian on a circuit of the upper pasture.  A border collie named Jem bounded down the hill ahead of them.  Ian was an easy companion, and they were mid-conversation about the impact of the Scots in the history of medicine when Claire pulled up short, words evaporating in her throat.

There in the hay field just below stood Jamie.  Long rows of golden sheaves that had been cut the past week were now drying in the late summer sun.  Armed with nothing but a pitchfork, Jamie had obviously been working for some time.  He wore boots and loose trousers, but his shirt was long abandoned.  Sweat glistened in the fine russet curls that covered his breastbone and over the sun-kissed curves of his shoulders.  He was so beautiful, it hurt to breathe.

“He’s himself again,” Ian remarked.  “It lightens my heart tae see it.”

Claire tore her eyes away from Jamie.  Ian was watching her with a knowing twinkle in his eye.

“Well, he obviously loves being here, with his family...” she dodged.

Ian shook his head.

“Nah, t’isn’t that.  Since his accident, he’s been... altered.  Jamie was always the golden one, ye ken?  Smart, strong, funny, kind.  He wore it well, but it gives ye a sense of... invincibility, maybe?  Tha’ blast ripped apart more than his back.  I think it made him doubt who he is on the inside.  Ye’ve helped him find tha’ man again, Claire, and for that we are in yer debt.”

She couldn’t look at Ian then, for fear that he would see just how much she wanted what he was saying to be the truth.  To be essential to someone who meant so much to her, to be enough purely by being herself, it was more than her feelings could contain.

It was what Jamie had been trying to tell her all along.

***

The third stair between the guest room and the laird’s bedroom creaked, and Claire froze, eyes darting guiltily down the corridor to where Ian, Jenny and their children slept.   Nothing stirred beyond the drumming of her heartbeat, so she crept the rest of the way, tapping quietly on the solid wood door.

Jamie’s voice was alert as he beckoned, “Come in, Jenny.”  She clutched a thin sheaf of papers to her chest and entered the room.  The only illumination came from the hearth, where a low fire still blazed.  It cast its light on a large, masculine room, with deep blue wallpaper, heavy damask drapes and an immense four poster bed.  Jamie sat up against the headboard, the glow from his iPad echoing in his downcast eyes.

“It’s not Jenny.  It’s me,” she whispered.

With a visible flinch, the iPad fell to his lap.

“Claire...”

He stretched her name out like honey from a jar, trickling sweetly from his mouth.

She wanted to run.  From this plush room, this welcoming home, this uninvited sanctuary of tenderness.  Her legs quivered with the impulse.  Instead, she plunged forward into the room, right to the edge of the bed, and thrust her offering towards Jamie, who followed her movements as though she was defusing a bomb.

“Whas’ this then?” he asked, peering down at the document.

“It’s our lease.  I signed it.  And faxed a copy to the landlord.”

There, she had done it.  The pebble that would start the landslide.  There was no turning back now, and it was pure relief.

Jamie was silent for so long, staring down at her signature, that she began to wonder if he’d fallen asleep.  When he looked up again, his eyes were glassy.

“Are ye sure, Sassenach?”

A drunken encounter in a pub.  Agony radiating from his bright blue eyes on a hospital gurney.  Her rain-soaked salvation.  A roommate.  A friend.  His steady patience as they tentatively grew closer. And now something more, something bigger than she knew how to articulate, sneaking around the margins of her fear.  

She wasn’t sure of much, but she was certain that Jamie’s love could never hurt.  The rest, the panic that she could lose him or disappoint him, that was just the price of paradise.

Instead of answering the question directly, she walked around to the opposite side of the bed and gestured to the empty mattress beside Jamie’s long body.

“Is this place still vacant?”

His smile was radiant.

“For ye, Sassenach, always.”

***

It was like no other sex she’d ever experienced.  Intimacy, up until then, had been a transaction, an exchange of debits.  This was a cancellation of accounts, an obliteration of any mutual debt.  They loved each other with the pure, mindless joy of a wave meeting the shore.

Which isn’t to say that it was perfect.  It felt strange to touch Jamie in more than a friendly way.   Not at all unpleasant, but strange.  Like going to the theatre to see a well-loved play, and suddenly being thrust onto the stage.  The hesitance behind Jamie’s touch told her he felt something similar.  

In a particularly awkward moment, they were jostling and bumping to remove each other’s pajamas when her hair got caught in the buckle of his watch.

“Ouch!” she yelped.  He pulled away, stammering apologies, which only made things worse.  After a few failed attempts on Jamie’s part, she reached up and unclasped the watch band, giving him two hands to work with.  By this point they were both giggling, the gravitas of the moment lost.

“Ye’ve a great deal of hair, mo nighean donn,” Jamie groused as he lay the offending watch on his nightstand.

“Complaining already, Fraser?”

“God, no. Ye’re... would it be sentimental tae say ye’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?”

She was lying naked, but for a pair of skimpy knickers, the firelight caressing her limbs where they were splayed against the dark sheets.  Jamie’s visual perusal of her body held a potent combination of lust and reverence that warmed her blood.

“I suppose I can tolerate a bit of sentimentality,” she conceded, rolling towards the bulwark of his naked chest.  Her fingers played down the corduroy ripples of his flank.

“You’re beautiful too, Jamie.”

The mood in the room shifted again.  Soon they pitching across the mattress, trying to touch in as many ways possible.  Their skin grew slippery with sweat.  At some point, underwear must have been removed, because she could feel the coarse abrasion of his pubic hair against her thigh, alongside the tensile ridge of his erection.

“Claire,” he gasped as their hips ground together in frenzied pulses. “If ye dinna want me tae go any further, I need ye tae tell me now.”

She reached between them, taking the heft of him in her palm, feeling a spasm of need shudder through his frame.

“There’s nothing about you that I do not want, James Fraser.”

A cavernous groan, a frantic search for a condom in the bedside drawer, the tearing of a foil wrapper, and then a breathless hesitation.  She opened her eyes to see Jamie looking down as though she was the morning sun.  There was nothing left inside her but dazzling hunger, filling the spaces where her fear once resided.

Here was the start.

[youcanblogifyouwantto]

Biff’s Year in Music

2020 what can I say… I feel like this meme summed up the first half of it pretty well.

https://cheezburger.com/12209157/ant-man-meme-gives-a-recap-of-all-the-horrors-of-2020-so-far

Then to top it off this last week my son developed a spontaneous pneumothorax which basically is a collapsing of his lung for no apparent reason other than he is a tall thin white adolescent. To make matters worse he is 18 and COVID is raging in all the hospitals.  Thankfully my wife is an RN and should have been a lawyer as she was able to argue her way into staying with him.  Good thing she did because one the doctors fucked up so bad she gave him another Pneumothorax by turning a valve a wrong way.  Needless to say it has been a very rough year and especially rough week for me and my family.  Music has been and always will be the only constant positive release for me.  2020 had some great music and being home for almost an entire year now has led to a lot of music consumption.  The only other thing I did almost as much as listen to music was drink and cook food to match what I was drinking.  I’ve always loved beer and wine and dabbled in Whiskey but this year was the year of the cocktail for me.  I would discover a new alcohol type and then plan crazy elaborate dinners that cocktail would either be an aperitif of digestif for. Fun yes, healthy? …That is yet to be determined. I did take up running again to counter the amount I was drinking and eating and I would say that I have consistently worked out more this year than any other year so my liver might be fucked but my heart and lungs are strong.

So to start it off, this year saw releases from some of my all-time favorite musicians that I found nice and good even but never clicked or haven’t yet.  I had been eagerly anticipating Matt Berninger’s solo release all year and I dig it but strangely not enough to return to it unless I purposely tell myself to.  The same goes for Bright Eyes, Real Estate, Sylavan Esso, Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever minus Cars in Space (I played the shit out of that song), Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Car Seat Headrest, Dirty Projectors, Sufjan Stevens, Laura Marling (on first listen I thought easy top for the year then Fiona Apple came out and I haven’t returned to Laura Marling since), Damien Jurado, Jason Isbell, Neil Young (Homegrown had a special place in my heart for a month but again haven’t returned since August), Future Islands, Kevin Morby, and Busta Rhymes. All of these albums I do not hate or even dislike in fact some I liked a lot at first but just didn’t have staying power.  The following list are albums I loved that some stayed all year in rotation. Not in particular order but kinda like a Coachella poster if it’s near the top it’s one of my favorites of the year. I can be very longwinded on paper and very brief in person so I will try my antisocial tendencies to describe these albums. I will say for the most part the albums that hit this year are like comfort food music for my soul.

Waxahatchee  - St. Cloud – Home, comfort, introspective

Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher – Witty, production, great voice

Run The Jewels – RTJ4  - best running album ever. My favorite from these guys and best rap album I’ve heard in a while.

Jeff Tweedy – Love is the King. Maybe blasphemy but I like better than Warm. Perfect example of music comfort food. His biography is great too and so is the Summer teeth deluxe reissue.

Fleet Foxes – Shore – Beautiful, peaceful everything I needed from them and more. Side note Helplessness Blues was the first album review I ever wrote for ATR and I’m so glad I found those guys! Thank you for continuing the tradition.

Jeff Rosenstock – NO DREAM There was some good punk rock this year but this was the best also great running music. Rosenstock is now my go to for punk

Taylor Swift- Folk Lore- Story Telling, Sweater music, more music comfort food. And now Evermore continues the greatness. Dorothea might be my favorite track from both records. If you would have told me a Taylor Swift album would be in my tops for the year a couple of years ago I would have laughed you out of my face and now she has two albums in my tops. 2020 is one crazy year!

The Avalanches- We Will Always Love You- I’ve loved every single and was waiting for this to drop before posting this.  Well Worth the wait. I like it better than the Gorillaz release and that is saying a lot. It’s hard to have this many spot on features and keep a cohesive vibe! Johnny Marr meets MGMT is another need more of this collab.

Loma  - Don’t Shy Away- If 2020 could be articulated through music disorienting but also working from home has some perks. Good balance of weird and comfort

Adrienne Leckner – Songs- She writes great songs and performs them immaculately

Muzz- ST – The last show I went to before shutdown was Morrissey with Interpol opening and I forgot how much I love Bank’s voice.  This album is highly underrated in my opinion especially Evergreen.

Gorillaz –Song Machine – Best since Demon Days and Robert Smith/Damon Albarn Collab was never anything I thought I needed but now want more of. When Tony Allen died I went through a deep Tony Allen dive that was quite enjoyable. Great Drummer!

Dinner party – ST – The title explains it better than I can

Against All Logic – 2017-2019 – Kelly Lee Owens and this were the only electronica to stay all year both great running albums and If you can’t do it good do it hard is worth the price of admission alone

Hamilton Leithhauser- The Loves of your life- I love this man and I loved the walkmen. I feel he for me is like Frank Sinatra was for my mom. Not as sweet as a voice but can sing the hell out of a song.

Walter Martin – The world at Night- Another Walkmen member, this is another comfort food album it just feels right in my soul

Ka – Descendants Of Cain – Criminally underrated for too long this dude paints lyrical mood pictures like GZA.

Perfume Genius – Set My Heart On Fire Immediately – Beautiful Authentic Elegant

Fiona Apple – Fetch The Bolt Cutters  - Lyrically and sonically slays me. You have to like spoken word and weird rhythm texture but she nails both of those.

Bonny Light Horseman- ST – Great folk indie I just knew this was an album for me on first listen

Rose city band - Summerlong – Best new discovery, feeds my jam band meets indie soul

Strokes - The New Abnormal – I don’t know why this didn’t get more love? I loved it and The Adults are Talking is top five best Strokes songs.

Pinegrove- Marigold – More indie comfort food music

Bartees Strange – Live Forever – Second best new discovery. This dude is all over the place but in a good way. If you like this check out his singles where he covers many National songs.

Kelly Lee Owens – Inner Song- My Friend Antony described this better than I can at the current moment. Inner songs indeed.

The Killers – Imploding the Mirage- Most surprised album of the year, I’ve never been a big Killers fan but this one just wrapped it hooks inside me and didn’t let go all year

Young Jesus – Welcome to Conceptual Beach- Avant-garde or experimental music stretches me in ways that are very good for my soul and this one was such an album

My Morning Jacket – Waterfall II – Took a trip up to Humboldt in Early August and this was the soundtrack of the trip. Very much needed social distance return to nature vacation.

Hum- Inlet – I rocked out to this many a summer early fall evening sitting on my dock fishing and drinking beer.

Haim- Women in Music Pt. III – Best Haim yet and yes they are maturing into great song writers

Nation of Language- Introduction, Presence – Third best new discovery.. My friend Spencer at Shadows and Noise (a blog I’ve contributed to on occasion) accurately describes this album nicely. My wife loves Depeche Mode, New Order, and Erasure so this album is a new version of that genre that she and I can love together.

Coriky- ST – Half of Fugazi with a female drummer that sounds like classic Sleater Kinney in fact Fugazi meets Sleater Kinney is how I would describe this and that can’t be wrong!

EP’s Singles

James Blake- Before (Great marriage of his old and new)

Kruangbin & Leon Bridges- Texas Sun

Local Natives – Sour Lemon

Radio Dept – The Absence of Birds

Leon Bridges – Sweeter

Tom Berlin – Projections

Father John Misty – To S/ To R

Rostam- Unfold you

 Mank is one of the only great movies of 2020!

[katebacks]

A Night With a Vampire - Part 2 (M)

— pairing | Kim Taehyung /Reader

— word c | 3,970

— genre | Vampire! Taehyung, angst. Smut. 

— summary | Your relationship with Taehyung gets deeper with each passing day, but there comes a time when intimacy reaches too high a level and you do not know if you're ready for it.

— warnings/tags | Bad words. Explicit sex. Violence. 

Part 1 | ‘Part 2′ 

I woke up in a jolt. My heart was racing.

I sat in bed watching the clothes scattered on the floor. I saw the pillow feathers everywhere and I remembered someone ripping it off. I turned to the bed and saw the another pillow full of blood, my blood. Taehyung's clothes were still here. He was still here. It wasn’t a dream. What should I do? I've always thought about this possibility, but now that it's really happening, I'm petrified. He bit me, he didn’t ask for my permission. Shit, what am I supposed to do?

A smell of bacon invaded my respiratory system. Jimin!

I jumped out of bed, looking for something to cover myself. Jimin didn’t know anything, he had nothing to do with it. What if Taehyung hurt him? I pulled on my panties and grabbed Taehyung’s shirt, buttoning it up and leaving the room in desperation. There was a vampire in my apartment, my god. This is not as much fun as I thought it would be.

"Jimin?" I called his name aloud, past the living room and walking toward the kitchen, stopping abruptly by hitting something. Two arms go around my waist and certainly were not Jimin's. I took a deep breath and lifted my eyes, staring deep into his eyes. He smiled at me, and his eyes no longer had that darkness and lust that I had seen last night. “You ... you ... you're a vampire!” I stammered, but finally I managed to speak. He ran his tongue over the piercing on his lip before biting it and sighing, shaking his head and agreeing with my sentence.

"Aren’t you scared?" He asked gently caressing my waist. I blinked my eyes once, twice, thinking. I was alive. He wasn’t being violent, and I didn’t feel in danger, so I shook my head, signaling no, I wasn’t afraid of him. Taehyung smiled, showing those beautiful teeth and that boxy smile, making my whole body shiver and he seemed to notice it. He looked down at my body, covered only by his shirt, and then looked into his eyes again. His hand went up to my face, caressing my cheek and then fondling my hair. I hadn’t felt this good in months, not even Lil had made me feel that way.

His hand went down to my neck and I felt a small twinge of pain as he pressed a certain point. He sighed.

"I’m sorry. I hurt you. The marks of my fangs are still here." He said. "You can’t walk like this on the street."

"And how do I hide? I have no scarf." I said confused. And that's when I remembered that vampire blood can heal any kind of wound. "You ... Are you going to give me your blood?"

"Vampires don’t share blood with any human. But you're important to me, so I'll be happy to give you my blood, if you want, of course.” He said moving away and leaning his back on the kitchen counter. And only then did I notice that he was only wearing a pair of underwear, and my whole body warmed up, he was so handsome. A masterpiece. And remembering that I had kissed that body last night, remembering that that body was over mine, my blood warmed, my heart sped up, and Taehyung also noticed, because I saw his eyes darken and his gaze down to mine neck.

"Your heart is racing. I can hear it pumping blood to your veins." He said as he unraveled from the counter. "Are you nervous?" He asked, taking a step toward me, staying close to me again. He approached my face for a moment and took a deep breath, giggling a little later. "You're horny." He realized, pulling away just enough to be able to look into my eyes that would not let me lie and that confirmed his theory. “I can smell your cunt. You must be all wet."

"Do it again." I spoke and he frowned, confused. "Bite me again." Taehyung narrowed his eyes.

“You want me to bite you ... again?"

“I don’t remember the feeling. I want to feel it."

“Aren’t you afraid to ask such a thing for a vampire?" He asked holding onto my waist, lifting me up and letting me curl my legs around his waist as I held onto his shoulders. I shook my head, denying it.

“No! I know you don’t want to hurt me, otherwise you would have done it, wouldn’t you?”

"Are you sure?" He asked, drawing his face closer to my neck, making me tremble once more.

"I trust you." I whispered not even knowing why I was saying that. He looked at me again, with the same intensity as last night. Taehyung bit his lips again and his hands went to the buttons of the shirt I was wearing, unbuttoning one by one, slowly. When I felt his lips touching my skin between my breasts, I moaned a little louder, and I looked up at him, holding his hair and caressing it, listening him grumble something. As his lips touched my left nipple, my body crawling every time that I felt his tongue massaging me. I felt his fingers touching me through my panties and involuntarily, I pressed my fingers to his hair and I heard his laugh.

"So needy, princess."

“Please Tae ah shit” I groaned as I felt his teeth pierce my skin, around my nipple, making me throw my head back once more. He immediately pulled his mouth away, lifting his head, showing his dark eyes, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth, staining his porcelain skin. My blood. His fingers increased the speed a little more, making me moan a little louder, forgetting the pain of the bite. I stared into his eyes, showing desire in mine. I wanted more. I wanted to get used to that bite, with that feeling of pain and pleasure. Only with my eyes, without saying a word, I gave him permission to do it again. He leaned forward, ran the tip of his nose into my neck, and then bit me. And at the same moment, his cock penetrated my pussy, making me utter a loud cry and grabbing his hair as he moved hard inside me.

Hands free, he gripped my thighs, opening my legs even more, as he held his mouth to my neck, banging inside my pussy, with even more strength, hitting the right spot, making me roll my eyes. He lifted his head, letting the blood flow through his mouth. He stared at me as he increased his speed. His mouth came to mine.

Taehyung pulled my waist a little further to the front of the counter, becoming more accessible to him.

“You are so hot!” He whispered, coming out of the kiss and biting my shoulder, making me groan again. It was coming. I was feeling it.

I screamed as I felt the climax coming, my pussy pulsing around his cock as he grunted against my skin, filling me with his cum.

I was starting to get dizzy. I didn’t know if it was pleasure, or if Taehyung had taken too much blood. He lifted his head again, and one of his hands came up to my hair, caressing them. He bit his own lip and brought his mouth close to mine.

"Drink it." He commanded and I obeyed, sucking his lip, feeling the metallic taste in my mouth, beginning to feel better. As he pulled away again, his eyes dropped to my body, and I looked at myself too, seeing that the bite marks were fading.

"You taste so good." He sighed at me, his eyes returning to their normal state, shining. "I think I'm addicted to you."

Okay, let's recap. I finished my five-year relationship. My ex tried to get back to me. I met an extremely hot guy at my best friend's party and danced with him until we got to my bed. I have the best night of my life and then I find out he's a vampire. What madness.

Three months later.

I was happy. It had been tree months since Taehyung and I had been together. It was still hard to get used to the fact that he was a vampire, but I knew I was completely in love with him and I felt good about it. For the first few days I wondered why the hell he was dating me, but after a while I understood he really liked me. We hardly ever walked away. He would pick me up at home and take me to college, he would pick me up from college and take me out, then we would go to my apartment and drive madly into my bed, or my bathroom, or the walls, anywhere.

I didn’t have time to be sad anymore because he encouraged me. I had no time to have doubts because he always had the answers. I didn’t have time to doubt myself, because he was always there to support me and tell me how incredible I am, and I loved it in him.

"So, what are you doing tonight?" Millena asked as we were walking down the hallway to the college, heading toward the exit.

"Taehyung and I have not decided yet." I answered and I could feel she looked at me with fury in her eyes. "What?"

"It's been weeks since we went out together, (Y/N). I miss my best friend. Please go to the movies with me. "She asked pouting and I could only laugh at that scene. I shook my head nodding.

"Okay, let's go to the movies."

As soon as I jumped in Taehyung's car, he kissed me and started off, driving away.

"Tae, I hope you don’t mind, but Millena wants to have a girls night tonight, so we're both going to the movies."

"Are you going to ditch me because of a girl? I can't believe. I'm seriously hurt, (Y/N)." He said with a fake tone of hurt, which made me roll my eyes and slap him on the arm. "She's your friend, love. Go and have fun. When you come back, I'll be waiting for you, so I can fuck your pretty pussy like I do every night. " He said taking one hand to the middle of my legs, touching me over my panties. I loved his naughty side. "Since you're going out tonight, how about being a good girl and sitting on my dick, hm baby?"

"Here?" I narrowed my eyes and he took his eyes off the road, staring at me. The answer was quite obvious.

This was dangerous ... and exciting. I bit my lip, knowing that if we passed a police car, we'd both be screwed, but the juice that came out of the middle of my legs and wet my panties wouldn’t let me make a wise decision. The way home would be long, so why not? I’m glad to be wearing a skirt. I put my hands inside the skirt and pulled my panties down, throwing it on the floor of the car. Taehyung smiled and used one hand to unzip his pants.

"You're a naughty little girl, are not you, baby?" He said pulling his cock out. I shook my head and licked my lips at the sight of his hard, pulsing cock. He slipped a little on the seat, enough to still be able to see over the wheel of the car. I didn’t have to wait for him to command me to climb onto his lap. I sat on his lap, my back to him, my feet on the edge of the bench. His left hand was still on the steering wheel while the other hand was positioned on top of my belly. "Come on, baby, slide my cock into your pussy." He whispered with his husky voice near my ear, making my body shiver and my legs tremble. When I put it in, and got down until the end, I grunted in pleasure as I felt it stretching me. I saw his hand tighten the steering wheel and he stepped deep into the accelerator, causing my body to be thrown against his and making me squeeze the hand on his arm that was on my abdomen.

"It's all right, my love, don’t you trust me?" He whispered against my ear again, lowering the tip of his nose down my neck. Oh, I was going to die because of that man, but I did not care.

"Yes"

"So move. Ride on that dick like you've done every night since we met." I began to roll my hips over hers, his hand gripping my waist against him, I laid my head on his shoulder, too coward to look at the road, and too concentrated on the pleasure to care about what might happen. "Pull your hair off your shoulder and push the strap of your blouse down." I did as he said and soon after I felt his fangs on my shoulder and his hand on my waist, went down to my clit, massaging it, making me utter a loud moan.

“Oh Tae...”

“Yes baby. Moan my name like that.” He grunted against my shoulder before biting my neck. His hips began to move against mine, hard, making me moan louder and squeezing my fingers alongside the bench as we both moved our hips in sync. “Fuck you’re so hot” I could feel the blood dripping from my shoulders to my back, I could feel his cock throbbing, I could feel the force with which he fucked me and that was incredibly wonderful.

Suddenly he stepped on the brake, taking the car to the shoulder and he held me so tightly I didn’t even move.

"Hold the wheel." Taehyung said putting one hand on my back and gently pushing me forward until I was almost lying on the wheel. His other hand gripped my waist and he began to move his hips against me, fucking me hard and with talent. He gripped my hair and pulled them, causing me to curve my back and let my neck close to his mouth."You like that, baby? You like being fucked in the car in broad daylight? Where anyone can see?"

“Yeah Tae, please...”

“Please what baby?”

“Make me come,,, Oh shit.” I gripped the steering wheel, feeling the climax approaching. He increased his speed, and I knew he was controlling himself to not using more force, because he was afraid to hurt me.

“Touch yourself, baby.” I took my hand down the middle of my legs and began to make circular movements on my clit as I rode on him. "I wish I could have kids, damn, you'd look so beautiful carrying my kid. God, how I wish I could fill you with cum until you were full with my son, my love."  He said hoarsely, biting my shoulder again, making me scream as I came on his cock. "That's right, my love, come to me."

“Fuck Tae… I can’t...”

“You can, baby. I know you can. Just a little more.” He moaned and moved harder, making my legs shake and making me no longer able to control the noises coming out of my mouth. If anyone was around that highway, they were certainly hearing my groans of pleasure. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.”  He moaned and hugged my body, pulling me against him while he was cumming. I lost count of how many times I took a deep breath to try to normalize my breathing and I know that if he could breathe, he would have done the same. I laid my head on his shoulder, I don’t care if his cum was flowing out of me. Taehyung stroked my hair as I lightly stroked my cheek.

"I love you, (Y/N)."

Hearing those words, I turned my face toward his, amused for what he had said. I stared into his eyes, watching the sincerity they showed, and knowing that he really meant what he had said.

I smiled and brought a hand to his face.

"I love you too, Taehyung."

Six months later.

I was outraged that Millena had forced me to go to that shit club saying that she wanted a girls night after fighting once again with Jimin, and after a few drinks she grabbed some male's neck and left me alone there. I was feeling betrayed. Really.

I had just called Taehyung and asked him to come and get me, I didn’t want to be left alone. He told me that I should wait inside the club because it was less dangerous, but I wasn’t sure of that. I was feeling as if at any moment one or more of those men who stood there and looked at me with strange looks would kidnap me and do terrible things with me, so I was praying that Tae would arrive soon. I was so focused on my thoughts that when a hand touched my shoulder, I jumped in surprise, turning back, seeing a man standing behind me.

"I'm sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to scare you." I twisted my nose when I heard him call me a princess. Only Taehyung could call me that.  The man was tall and had muscles, he should be twice my size and it scared me. He smiled at me, but I did not feel any comfort. "I saw you've been alone here long enough, and a pretty girl like you should not be alone." He said taking a step toward me and I instantly took a step back.

"I'm waiting for my boyfriend to come get me."

"Why wait for your boyfriend, kitten? I can take you home." He said extending his arms, intending to pin me between him and the counter, but I was quick enough to dodge and take a few steps away from him.

"No ... Don’t call me that. And no, thank you, I'd rather wait for my boyfriend." And so I turned my back, walking through the crowd and heading towards the club door, I would wait for Taehyung outside the nightclub and with luck, that asshole would not follow me there.

Well, but I do not seem to be all that lucky, because as soon as I left the club, I felt a hand holding my forearm and turning around, it was that man.

"Not so fast, kitten."

"Let me go." I said pulling on my arm, but he just squeezed it harder.

"You should be nicer to someone you do not know, you know, you should not be a bad girl, because bad things happen to bad girls." He said tapping my cheek, and I did the one thing that came to my head, with my free hand, I hit him with a punch on his face, making him stagger back and let go of my arm. He didn’t look happy at all, and I wasn’t going to wait there to find out. I turned my heels and ran in any direction, taking cell phone in my pocket and with trembling hands I dialed Taehyung’s number.

As I reached the corner of the street, his car turned into that street and he stopped short in the middle of the street and two seconds later he was standing in front of me, holding my arms, causing my hair to fly by the speed with which he approached. He didn’t have to ask me what was going on, because looking back, that man was running in our direction, and yes, he wasn’t happy at all.

"You bitch, you'll pay me for that slap." That man screamed furiously, pointing his index finger at me.

"Did he hurt you?" Taehyung asked looking at me. I blinked a few times and denied it.

“He was hitting on me in the club, when i said that i wanted nothing to do with him, and that I was waiting for you, I left the club and he followed me, grabbed my arm and ...”

"Did you touch her?" Taehyung shouted toward the man, who was now closer than ever.

"What if I have it?"

"I'll make you regret having touched her." Tae growled, and in a matter of seconds he had his hand on the man's neck, dragging him with no difficulty into a dark alley that lay nearby.

I heard the man shouting some curses at Taehyung, and while I wondered if I would go and ask Tae to just forget about it and take me away, I heard terrified screams coming from there, and the screams were not from my boyfriend. Going against my own head, I ran towards that alley, just to see Taehyung pinning that man against the wall and biting his neck, tearing his skin, spitting the flesh out of his mouth, being bathed in the blood of that man.

I put my hands in front of his mouth, holding a terrified scream, but failing. And that got his attention. Taehyung turned to me, his face dirty with blood, his black eyes wrapped with red veins, his terrifying expression that was making it clear what he had always been and what I should have realized a long time ago. Taehyung was a vampire. I already knew that. But I still had not seen his original side. His purely dark side. That wasn’t my boyfriend, sweet and affectionate. That was a monster.

"Baby ..." he said dropping the man's body, letting it fall to the floor and stepping cautiously toward me.

"No." I almost screamed, taking steps back. He stopped walking and frowned.

"Are you afraid of me?"

I didn’t answer, I just started running away, my stomach twisting as the image of the man I love, tearing the flesh from someone's neck, passed in a loop in my head. I was panicking, I felt it, my hands began to sweat and my head started to ache and spin. It made me lose my balance and I dropped to my knees on the floor, hopelessly trying to lean against a wall on some street. Now everything was spinning in and out of my head.

I sat on the floor, hyperventilating, trying to take control of my body back, but it seemed useless, and the tears streamed down my face, making it even harder to calm me down. Oh shit, I'm gonna throw up my brain.

"Baby." Taehyung appeared at once in front of me, making me scream in fright and jump up and down. His face was clean, but his clothes were still stained with blood. His eyes were no longer veined and now he looked like the man I fell in love with. “Please, don’t be scared. I will never hurt you, my love.”

I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t say anything. Finally, I ended up throwing up everything I had eaten in the last days and he didn’t move away from me, just held my hair. What would I do? Now that I've seen what he really was, what am I supposed to do?

all rights reserved © katebacks | 2019 — no reposting and/or modifying of any form on any medium is allowed. no translations allowed.

[atamascolily]

The cover of Junior Jedi Knights #5: Vader's Fortress by Rebecca Moesta features Anakin and Artoo dodging blaster fire while Tahiri does a bad-ass leap and Darth Vader looms in the background. So I guess this next field trip is to wherever the hell Vader's fortress is located... and given that this book was published in 1997, I'm pretty sure it isn't Mustafar.

Readers, I squealed with delight when I realized they were actually going to Bast Castle on Vjun.

[cut for length and discussion of Dark Empire]

Vjun's first appearance was in Dark Empire, but it's the main setting for Sean Stewart's Clone War-era novel Yoda: Dark Rendezvous (2004), which happens to be one of the best Legends books ever. Period. Drop everything and go read it now. Stewart's Vjun is a Dark side Gothic horror wonderland full of crumbling castles, crazed nobility, and flesh-eating moss. I love it, and you will, too.

Vjun also appears in various video games, with no less than Kyle Katarn describing it as "a big, dead, important rock". High praise, indeed.

Oh, and if you're curious, Wookiepeedia says Vjun is "pronounced as "VAH-JUHN" in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy, but in Star Wars Battlefront: Elite Squadron, it is pronounced as "VUHN"".... so anything goes, really.

Anyway, so having dealt with his heritage by going to Dagobah in the last book, the logical next step is for Anakin to actually go and visit Vader's castle in person. You know, exposure therapy. Right?

Okay, let's see what the text says.

Anakin, Tahiri and Uldir are hanging out on the landing pad on Yavin IV waiting for Tionne to show up. Tahiri loves Tionne so much, she doesn't mind waiting around, and she wishes she could have gone with Tionne on this latest trip to Borgo Prime and I just... I love their relationship, okay?

Tionne has a new ship - the Lore Seeker! Anakin uses the Force to determine it's in great shape despite its odd appearance. (It has sails to harness solar wind, lol!)

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” the Jedi instructor said with a smile. “I thought so, too. But because the ship was so old, I was able to buy it from a Randoni trader for a song.”

“How much did you really pay?” Uldir asked.

Tionne shrugged.

“Just a song. Really. While I was looking for Jedi legends, I came across an ancient song that told about the very firstRan - doni merchants and the vaults where they hid their wealth. The trader was so interested that she offered me the Lore Seeker in exchange for the song. Now come help me unload my cargo, and I’ll show you some of my other treasures.”

DID I MENTION I LOVE HER???

Also, Tionne got some other stuff, too:

“You may carry this Twi’lek story-chain, Tahiri-each link tells a different part of a story. Please be very careful with it. Uldir, here is a holodisk. It holds a recording of some very old Jedi songs. Anakin, would you please carry this scroll? I’ll take the tapestry.”’

AHHHHHH, I LOVE THIS.

But Tionne found out something else important "in an old fortress on a planet called Vjun" and this is where I started SCREAMING because I know exactly where this is going and this is such a great set-up - especially since none of the kids have a clue.

Of course, they want to go, and Tionne's trying to be diplomatic about it.

“Does anyone live in the fortress?” Anakin asked.

Tionne shook her head.

“Not anymore.”

“Well, if it’s really that important, don’t you think you ought to go find it?” Tahiri said. “And don’t forget that you promised to take me with you this time.”

“I’d like to go along, too,” Anakin added.

“Yeah, it sounds like fun,” Uldir said.

Tionne frowned.

“I’m not sure Master Skywalker will approve. It could be a bit dangerous."

LOLOLOLOL, since when has that ever stopped anybody in this series?? But according to Tionne, the danger isn't Sith ghosts or anything like that - it's other people trying to snag a certain treasure first.

And what is this special object? the kids want to know.

Tionne’s face lit with a wondering smile, and she gave a happy sigh.

“It’s Obi-Wan Kenobi’s lightsaber!”

ITS A MACGUFFIN! Also, given all of Vader’s issues with Obi-wan, the fact that he kept his old master’s lightsaber in his hidden Gothic Drama Castle is... something. But I digress.

Cut to Luke, being Luke.

Luke Skywalker, dressed in a comfortable black flightsuit, sat on the stone floor in the room where he meditated and did his office work. At the moment, though, Luke was not meditating. Before him in the center of the room stood his barrel-shaped blue and white droid, ArtooDetoo. It was time for Artoo’s routine cleaning. Anakin’s older sister Jaina often helped Luke with this chore, but the Jedi Master didn’t mind doing it himself. He actually found it relaxing. With his tools neatly laid out on the floor and fresh packets of lubricant beside him, Master Skywalker opened ArtooDetoo’s front panels and got to work.

After checking the droid’s numerous electrical connections, Luke added a few gadgets and upgrades Jaina had scrounged up for Artoo: a retractable mirror attachment, a power booster for the comm unit, and a new focusing lens for the hologram projector.

I'm sure NONE of these upgrades will come in handy later on in the book. Nope. Nope. Nope. Move along, nothing to see here, just a boy and his bro-bot.

Ikrit is hanging out on top of Artoo's head during all of this, when there's a knock at the door. Luke asks him to open the door and Ikrit DOES and I don't know why I find this so adorable, but I totally do. More of this, please.

Luke looked up from the packet of slippery lubricant he held in his hand, then smiled when he saw who his visitors were.

“Come in,” he said, “all of you.”

His words seemed to open an invisible dam, because people and noises instantly flooded into his quiet room. Luke laughed as everyone tried to talk to him at once.

“Master Skywalker, I have wonderful news,” Tionne said. “You’ll never guess in a million years,” Tahiri added.

“Can I go with them?” Anakin asked.

“Yeah, me too!” Uldir said.

News of Obi-wan's lightsaber makes Luke have all kinds of Feels (and a handy flashback for those who have forgotten the movies). Luke's like, Oh, yeah, Bast Castle, I've been there before back in Dark Empire when things got weird, and Anakin FREAKS OUT. Tionne's like, huh, maybe that's why my contact said only family had a right to claim the lightsaber then.

Tionne wants Luke to come with her, but Luke is meeting with Leia for pressing NR business, so Anakin volunteers to go as the family rep. I love that Luke looks at Ikrit first, and only says okay when Ikrit nods. Of course Uldir wants to come too, and Luke is about to say no, but Tionne's like "he's just going to stow away, so you might as well and the cargo hold on my ship is too small for him plus our stuff" so Luke caves. DID I MENTION HE'S A SOFTIE?? And with Artoo and Ikrit to help, Luke feels good about it, but again, he insists on the parental permission first.

[Oh, no, I just realized that Luke might not want to go back to Vjun after all the traumatic shit that went down in Dark Empire, and that's ALSO horrifying to contemplate. Like, it's not dangerous anymore, so he's okay with sending Anakin there with supervision, but he might not be eager to re-visit it? MY HEART.]

We skip that scene, though, and jump immediately to everyone in the Lore Seeker, and Tionne teaches them about lightsabers. Nomi Sunrider is namedropped (queen!) but overall lightsabers are reified, and I don't know how I feel about that tbh, even though they are admittedly SUPER COOL LASER SWORDS BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ.

Fortunately, Ikrit's there to say "Not All Jedi," since I am not, which catches Tionne off guard, since she didn't know he was a Jedi master. Tionne is apologetic about treating Ikrit like a pet, but Uldir continues to be a jerk, especially when Ikrit starts sharing his own personal trauma. And then Ikrit declaims about Anakin and Tahiri's powers, but graciously includes Uldir once Uldir pokes him about it.

The skies of Vjun are stormy, so it's a bumpy ride down. They land outside the castle instead of on the landing pad at the top because the weather is so awful. Anakin did his homework, and explains the situation (Dark Empire recap!):

“Did Uncle Luke tell you anything about the fortress itself?” Anakin asked.

“I don’t know much about it.”

“Well, I found out as much as I could before we left. Apparently Vader built Bast Castle as one of his private strongholds; he was a powerful man. After both he and Emperor Palpatine died, some of the Emperor’s followers brought a copy of Palpatine’s body here-a clone. This second Emperor was defeated too. Since then, the fortress has been abandoned, as far as we know.”

“I still don’t get it,” Uldir said to Anakin. “Why would your grandfather choose to build in such a desolate place?”

Oh, you sweet summer child.

They spy another shuttle, and Tahiri is forced to wear shoes again so they can climb up in the rain. It's basically the Stairs of Minas Morgul from LOTR, only the rain is turning to sleet. Artoo hates stairs and Ikrit rescues him when he falls off - but he can hack the door open, so that's good. The hall has a giant, larger-than-life statue of Darth Vader toppled over on the floor, because... drama.

Then the laser fire starts, and everybody ducks for cover. Artoo uses his newly-installed reviewed mirror to deflect the laster bolts, so they can disarm the automatic security system. Tionne steps in with her lightsaber when Artoo gets shot, and she and Ikrit start tossing random objects to block them while the kids race for the control panels and it's epic. The statue explodes and Artoo manages to hack the system right before he powers down.

Uldir clapped one hand down on Anakin’s shoulder. “Not half bad for a kid,” he said.

Quiet, you condescending fuck. Yes, I know, he's like 14, but he's still obnoxious as hell here.

Anyway, they repair Artoo, except he can't climb any more stairs (I'm so confused how he did it earlier, but okay), and they debate whether to split the party. The smart answer is always "No," but they eventually do anyway, because plot. Tahiri's just happy not to wear shoes. You'll be happy to know that the bathrooms still work. This whole thing feels like an RPG dungeon crawl and I'm HERE FOR IT.

Tahiri notices the floor's texture shifts and that turns out to be a clue and I LOVE THIS. There's a secret pit trap full of spkes, and then suddenly they're attacked by monsters. But eventually, the others find them and deduce that they're holograms. Anakin IDs himself to a door and it opens into a secret chamber... and then this happens:

At the same moment, a puff of smoke erupted in the doorway, and a dark-haired man with a neat beard, tawny eyes, and a deep purple cloak stood before them. The man threw back his head and laughed, although Anakin couldn’t see what was so funny.

“The powerful Mage of Exis Station thanks you,” he said. “I would never have found the lightsaber without your help.” He snatched the weapon from Tionne’s hand. “But I’ll take it now.”

Tahiri starts pestering this guy with questions and he is startled enough to admit he's the Mighty Orloc. Tahiri realizes he's a stage magician, but even so, he manages to open a trapdoor, sending Tionne and Ikrit elsewhere. The kids rush him, but there's smoke and when it clears, Orloc has vanished.

Ikrit and Tionne are fine, and they start looking to rejoin the kids, who are searching for them and/or Orloc. Artoo and Uldir take a tunnel while Tahiri and Anakin go up stairs. Everyone keeps tossing the stale Imperial ration bars they picked up earlier to test for traps, and the RP gamer  in me approves.

“What’s this?” Tahiri asked, pointing to a raised platform that held a huge tube made of black plasteel. Wires and hoses snaked out from the cylinder in all directions. She ran a hand along its smooth side and found some sort of control panel.

“This looks like the tubes they use to bury dead people in space,” Anakin said.

It's actually Vader's bedroom! They find a little hidden hologram of a young Luke and I just... can't even...

Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The little hologram of a young Luke Skywalker turned in a slow circle, so that they could see it from every angle.

...Anakin felt a lump form in his throat. “My mom keeps holograms of me and Jacen and Jaina on her desk at work, and Dad has one of me and the twins in the Millennium Falcon. I think Darth Vader was just doing the same thing.”

“So maybe he wasn’t all bad,” Tahiri said in a soft voice.

Anakin starts to feel better about coming to Bast Castle, which is good, because he has Deep-Seated Issues that need to be resolved.

Meanwhile, Uldir sees the lightsaber as a magical talisman that will help him become a Jedi. He abandons Artoo and confronts Orloc, who draws the blade on him. Orloc offers to teach Uldir his powers if he'll come with him. Orloc's looking for the Holocron in Vader's private quarters, and Uldir is tempted, but ultimately turns him down because he realizes Orloc is a fraud.

Anakin and Tahiri find Orloc and Uldir and Tahiri slides down a pole to confront him. Orloc attacks her with the lightsaber. Tionne and Ikrit show up, and Artoo uses a high-frequency blast to distract Orloc long enough for Ikrit to yank the lightsaber with the Force. Orloc disappears, and Uldir mentions the Holocron in Vader's private quarters. So Anakin and Tahiri take them back there.

Tionne's like, let's GTFO, but Uldir suggests they test it, which is a mistake, but Tionne agrees. OF COURSE Orloc comes back and snags it. They chase Orloc through the castle, and there's a lot of trap door shenanigans, but ultimately Artoo helps save the day and they get the holocron back, even though Orloc conveniently escapes.

(Maybe I've been watching too much Scooby-Doo, but I honestly expected Orloc to say "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your talking [lagomorph]!" ...maybe in the next book?)

Ikrit suggests they use the ships in the hangar to fly down to the Lore Seeker instead of walking. Anakin suggests Ikrit keeps the ship, since he seems to enjoy piloting, and I don't know how Ikrit is piloting this thing since he's a lagomorph, but it makes him happy, and they all make it back to Yavin in two ships without incident, which means it's time for the inspirational moral!

“It feels good to be back,” he said with a sigh. Tahiri giggled. “That was certainly more of an adventure than I had bargained for.”

Tionne looked at her two students.

“Are you sorry you came with me?”

Anakin shook his head.

“The trip was worth making. I learned some interesting things about Darth Vader.”

“I learned to trust the Force and not just my eyes and ears,” Tahiri said.

“And we did find a lightsaber and a Holocron,” Anakin said.

“And a new ship for Ikrit,” Tahiri added. “So I think we’re glad we came along, but it may be a while before we go looking for adventures again.”

HAHAHAHA, right, kids. You just keep thinking that.

Ikrit names his ship the Sunrider after Nomi Sunrider, because he, too, stans a legend. Anakin and Tahiri ask if they can take the turbolift up to the Great Temple when Luke starts walking up the outside stairs, and Luke has NO IDEA WHY THEY HATE STAIRS, and... on that note, the book ends, with Luke being VERY confused. [I like that Moesta remembers the Great Temple has outside stairs, but... THE LAYOUT STILL MAKES NO SENSE!!!]

So, I don't know how to feel about this book. PROS: I love the character details with Luke, Ikrit, Tionne and Tahiri, and I like how all of the adults continue to be responsible while still allowing opportunities for the children to be competent and show initiative. It's great to see Bast Castle, and the whole thing has the feel of a classic RPG dungeon crawl. Yay for Artoo saving the day ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS, lol.

CONS: Uldir is annoying, and I wish he'd stop being such a jerk. None of the characters have ever played RPGs and it shows in their lack of genre-savvy. And I guess we'll see Orloc again in the next book, because... it feels like there wasn't much resolution of that particular plot in this book... no resolution to who Orloc actually is, or what or why. I feel like this book is part one of a two-episode plot, and I wasn't expecting that, but okay.

It's unclear if Obi-wan's lightsaber has any further plot significance or if it's just a macguffin. Ditto the holocron. But given the next book is Kenobi's Blade, I suspect Orloc's going to try and snag both, and Uldir is going to have a Not-So-Secret Test of Character about it. (To be fair, he passed the one in this book, so he's not all bad, but he's so obnoxious, it's challenging for me to give him credit where it's due.)

This book also kinda sorta falls into the "Jedi lightsaber fetish" trope, which I hate. Don't get me wrong, I love the laser swords and they are freaking awesome, but I hate how everybody latches onto "Jedi = laser sword" business as a symbol of identity. I know, I know, Star Wars is really ambivalent about whether the Jedi are Space!Samurai or Space!Monks, and I just... lean more towards the latter than the former, I guess?? But like I said, the lightsaber is more of a macguffin here, and Ikrit at least lampshades the issue a little bit, so I feel better about it.  

Also, it just occurred to me it's unclear whether Tahiri hates shoes, sand, or stairs more, lol.

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 3x01 Blood Red and Going Down

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Oh, Wynonna…

She’s taking a holiday from dealing, happily vacationing in the land of Not Coping. When she breaks down, it’s going to be awful…

2) The idiot revenants are mocking her about her baby, they truly are stupid. Yep, she’s sweeping the floor with their asses.

3) Jeremy grew a mustache wtf.

He’s going full-blown bromance with Doc, isn’t he?

4) Doing a power walk with your posse…

EXPECTATION…

REALITY...

5) Who the fuck are these super extra, grill-wearing, purple-smoke hipsters?

The girl just touched the Sheriff and he invited them in and holy hell! They’re vampires! We got vampires! How did I not immediately guess they were vampires when I described them as extra and hipsters? Of course!

They’re very subtle…

So, just with a touch, they can glamour people? Is that it?

6) Waves and Nicole are in bed, and they’re all jokey about Nicole’s marriage and Waverly’s make-out sesh with Rosita, so I guess they’ve already worked through their issues. It would’ve been very interesting to actually see them work it out, and not just have this post-coital love bubble.

7) Why is this turning me on?

I guess it’s also turning them on a little bit, so we’re all on the same team… That is, until Doc brings up their baby, who is 19 weeks by now. Ouch.

8) She really wants to make things right with him… I guess my ship is not dead yet…

He won’t touch me unless we’re training and he won’t talk to me unless he’s angry. So I keep him training and angry.

So he’s obviously still not over the “giving up the baby” thing, which makes total sense. But how is Wynonna feeling? I’m guessing she’s absolutely wrecked, hence all the drinking and partying. I wonder when or how the show will address this. 

9) Hmm. Waverly brings up a memory about their mother, but Wynonna doesn’t mention how she’s been seeing her. I’m guessing this is a Big Secret that’s bound to come out during this season, right? The question is, why did their mother leave and how and why did Wynonna keep in touch with her?

10) Nedley is wearing a scarf around his neck and I’m guessing he’s been bitten.

11) Well, someone enjoyed a good ol’ feast, didn’t they?

Nedley was very adamant that “they didn’t do this”, that is to say, the vamps. And now Nicole is saying that these massacres have been happening since the 1920s, carried out by a group self-ascribed as the Cult of Bulshar. Cool. Cool cool cool.

12) Well, some light has been shined on those final scenes from the season 2 finale. Nicole, quite conveniently, waited nearly 5 months to tell Wynonna and Waverly that when Mercedes mentioned Bulshar it rang a bell, and Dolls gave her some BBD files – the ones we saw her holding in the last scene of the season 2 finale. Waverly seems to have no issue with this, but Wynonna is definitely taken aback by learning this information just now. I think she feels she hasn’t been let in on some key information about the demon that has been after her family for ages. Of course, Nicole and Dolls were probably just trying to protect the Earps and figure out if they could fight this demon without endangering them. But it is kind of odd that Dolls has chosen Nicole as his confidant and that he’s purposefully withholding information from Wynonna...

13) Nicole seems to be triggered watching the whole crime scene, which coupled with the fact that she mentioned having heard the name Bulshar before probably means she was either A) the daughter of one of the people attacked by the cult, or B) witnessed one of these massacres as a child, or C) both.

14) Cool, Waverly and Nicole have both been glamoured. And the vampire boss bitch told Waves she needs them as “tributes.” Is this some Hunger Games shit?

15) Oh, sweet tween Jeremy…

16) So…

Is their mom in a mental hospital or in prison? It looks like a prison, but she also looks a bit… deranged? But can it be a prison? We saw Wynonna meeting her in a mountain or something like that… Anyway, Wynonna keeps asking her to tell her more about Bulshar, but she won’t budge. She doesn’t trust Wynonna will be able to break the curse and she fears she might endanger Waverly.

17) The vampires want to turn Doc into one of their own. The only catch, in order to prove that it’s really him, he has to endure torture. I don’t know who is in charge of the recruiting division in this vampire undertaking but that’s not how you lure new recruits…

18) Okay, so it’s a prison. But what is she in prison for? And why does Waverly seem to believe she simply left them? Okay, Wynonna just answered my question – their Dad told them to hide the truth from Waverly, which makes sense when she was a little kid, but I’m betting she’ll be super pissed when she finds Wynonna has been keeping this tidbit of info for almost two decades?

19) Wait, what did I miss? Dolls just turned towards Wynonna all meaningful looks and what-not, he said “Wynonna”, they stared at each other, and then he just got off the car – and left his cheeseburger. Who the fuck does that? I hate it when characters do that shit with food in movies and TV shows! But seriously, what did I miss? Was this a “Dolls almost confessed his feelings but thought better of it” moment? Or was it just his lactose intolerance kicking in...?

20) Cool. So now, everyone but Wynonna and Doc is under the vampires’ influence.

21) So, the Vampire Boss Bitch and Doc have history. Go figure. She called him an asshole, so she must know him pretty well.

22)

23) So everyone has been glamoured, pimped up, and now they’re taking down Wynonna. I guess it’s all in Doc’s hands, now.

24) So, the vampires’ plan is to either turn or eat everyone in town. And everyone is super cool with it because they’ve been glamoured. Except Nicole seems to be remembering something, she’s called herself a survivor, the survivor… of one of the Cult of Bulshar’s massacres, maybe?

25)

I thought Dolls was glamoured, too. He’s either telling the truth or he’s setting Wynonna up.

26) “We’re gonna need more stakes.” Wynonna is going full Buffy and I’m fucking here for it!

27) Not… your best… zinger, Wynonna…

28) Vengabus, ooh, that reference is carbon-dated! And I instantly got it, what does that say about me?

29) OMFG, when these vampires get staked they turn into purple dust! But… wait… when they arrive, they do it surrounded by a cloud of purple fog? Does that mean they use other vampires’ ashes to give some pizzazz to their entrance?

And as each vampire gets staked, the glamoured people become unglamoured and they are starting to kick some vamp ass! I mean, look at Nedley!

30) “I will not get ate while tied to a stripper pole.” You know, good for you, Doc, we all need to set goals for ourselves. And that’s as good as any.

31) Oookay…?

She told him they’ve done things to her she doesn’t want done to him, and asked him to stay in the Vengabus, but of course, he didn’t.

32) He just jumped through a window and staked a vampire who was about to eat Nedley and now they’re smiling at each other and slowly walking towards each other and I’m dead!

They look so hot, why aren’t they kissing already?

33) Wait, is this Bulshar?

Is this how they’ve shown the face of the Big Bad? An underwhelming reveal with little warning?

34) These two…

They’re finally acting amicably, without angry training or silence treatment. Wynonna feels elated that he’s having a drink with her again like they used to, and they toast to Alice, which is the elephant in the room. I mean, who better to understand how each of them feels about giving up their daughter than each other? They really need to be each other’s person for this.

35) YES!!

My OTP is alive!

(it kind of looks like Wynonna has a mustache, though) 

36) Hahahaha! Dolls’ face when Wynonna’s compares Waverly’s “warm and tingly” description to peeing in the shower…

37) So, Dolls is egging Wynonna on to talk to Waverly, I’m guessing about their mom, and he can’t help but take a jab at her for choosing Doc, and I thought he was over the whole fighting with Doc over Wynonna? I guess not.

38) Okay, I totally saw this coming:

NICOLE: I’m starting to think there was a Cult of Bulshar survivor once. And it was me.

39) And just when Wynonna was about to tell Waverly about their mother…

And now Waverly is being dragged from the wreck and taken away?!

I did not see that coming!

40) This was an interesting season opener, with a much lighter tone than I expected and barely touching on the unresolved issues from last season. Bulshar seems to be the Big Bad, but for one, his reveal was lackluster at best. Suddenly, the camera cut to his face and that was it. He was just standing there. Not too ominous for a Big Bad. Nicole is about to be given a Big Backstory, so I guess that will be interesting to find out, although I think I would’ve been completely fine with her just being a regular human who stumbled upon the supernatural, you know? Jeremy is still having a bro crush on Doc, and I love it, especially because it goes both ways (I totally caught Doc telling the revenant that Jeremy is a vegetarian, which continues to cement the fact that they know each other very well, they’re buddies!) Waverly and Nicole seem to be on solid ground, but I wonder how figuring out where she comes from will affect Waverly’s relationships with Nicole and Wynonna. All in all, a solid, fun episode, although probably not one of the show’s most memorable ones. Very excited to see where this season takes us, though.

40) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[idkstark]

ENDGAME SPOILERS

Please don’t read the following if you haven’t seen the movie, there will be major spoilers!

I just saw the movie and I just wanted to recap/jot down things that happened/stood out to me during the movie! Similar to what I did last year after seeing IW.

Right kiddos, let’s get into it

I honestly thought Tony was fuckign dead on that ship, the fact that Nebula was shaking him n shit?? I was scared outta my mind.

They really just ... killed Thanos within the first ten minutes lmao dfkhdsvgsjdhg. I was not expecting it at all. They cut his left arm off and then decapitated him, it was absolutely wild. 

At least Thor aimed for the head

OH and Tony yelling at Steve when he’s back on earth? yo i was looking around at my friends like uh is he ok ?? he needs some milk 

As soon as Thanos was like aha yea i destroyed the stones owo I KNEW they were gonna go back in time

Five year time jump? wack. BUT AHHHHHHHH

TONY HAS A DAUGHTER. i cried. Also his new house by the lake? its just to cute im happy for him

Scott’s daughter, Cassie, is a full-grown teen!!!

Thor plays fortnite with korg and miek 

he also uhhhhh gained a bit of weight. he isnt doing too well in new Asgard :(

Professor Hulk! smthn that i wasn’t expecting so early on

AHH Carol’s new haircut? that’s some good shit

The time travel was pretty neat

Cap fighting himself, tricking hydra, using Loki’s staff on himself. wild y’all.

tony and steve going back to the 70′s honestly made me cry. peggy was right there in-front of steve, and tony was able to have a conversation with his dad. it was actually wholesome too??

anyway, they get three stones from 2012

nebula and rhodey go to get the power stone. 2014 peter quill is dancing along like he does in the movie, gets knocked out. its quite amusing. 

rhodey jumps back but nebula cant bc uh oh!!!! thanos (from a different timeline or smthn) finds out what she’s doing!!

she gets captured

Evil nebula pretends to be future nebula and jumps back to the HQ using her gear

Thor goes back to asgard, talks to his mum, anddd he gets Mjolnir back! so he has both the hammer and Stormbreaker

the soul stone. omg. Nat and Clint were the only two there and they had a small fight over who should be sacrificed. it was like some lion king shit; natasha hanging onto clint whilst dangling from a cliff and letting go. i cried ?? i felt so bad for clint.

He goes back, avengers are like uh oh fuck. but they have all of the stones!

STARK GAUNTLET BABYYYY

banner uses it and snaps back those who were dusted. his arm gets a bit fucked up, but he tolerates it bc he’s in the form of the hulk.

it works! but then evil nebula uses the quantum realm thingy to bring Thanos’ ship to the HQ

immediately sends a bunch of missiles down, i really thought someone would die but thank god everyone was ok

this sets up the final battle ground!

Thor, Cap, and Tony all fight Thanos. They’re getting pretty fucked up. thor drops both of his weapons

dramatic music plays and Mjolnir hits Thanos and flies back around only to land in sTEVE’S HAND!!!!!!

HE’S WORTHY SAKDHSDKFS. The entire theatre cheered

just ???? seeing him wield Mjolnir and use the shield???? holy fuck

Thanos beats them up a bit more and then he calls on his army and like. they all form behind him and it looks like everyone is gonna get fucked up to be quite honest

BUT THEN you hear sam’s voice and u see dr stranges portal!!! 

a bunch of portals form and everyone walks out; t’challa, shuri, okoye, their army. the guardians. PETER!! bucky, literally everyone. they all stand behind steve and he says ‘avengers....assemble’ and everyone starts running towards one-another.........poetic cinema 

AHH and pepper is there!! she’s rescue!!!

the stark gauntlet is handed to t’challa (by clint) then handed to peter who hands it to carol.

also um. peter saw tony and he started rambling abt wht happened and tony just pulls him in for a hug. it made me cry again

all of the female heroes help carol bring the gauntlet towards Scott, who has his van, so tht they can destroy it or smthn. it had something to do with time travel and the quantum realm skfbsdg

uh oh they don’t get it there

Thanos sees them doing this and makes his army send more missiles down (which does deplete his own army by a large amount)

He’s right beside the gauntlet and so is tony

tony looks at strange who holds up one finger. the one in 14 million

thanos puts the gauntlet on and almost snaps his fingers but he’s stopped by carol. 

he removes the power stone and uses it to blast her away, then he puts it back in.

tony grabs his arm before he can snap, thanos shoves him away

i fully thought that was it for the avengers BUT MY BOY TONY!!!!!

Thanos goes to snap but nothing happens. turns out tony somehow transferred them to his own, built-in/nano-tech gauntlet!!!!!!! everyone cheered again y’all.....

he says “I am Iron Man” before snapping his fingers

lmfao thanos and his army turn to dust. by bye purple man.

by this point i was like yall where the fuck is tony he better be ok

yea about that.

I started to sob.

Tony is leaning against some debris and he’s struggling to breathe, right arm all messed up. Everyone rushes over. 

Peter starts saying smthn like “come on mr stark, we won. tony please” idk what he said exactly because i was sobbing.

Pepper comes up and says “we’ll be okay. you can rest now” and i, a fool, continued to sob.

he’s staring into the distance and his arc reactor dies.

i was SOBBIng

full on

i didn’t stop crying until the credits rolled

anyway, tony’s funeral.

his ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ reactor is sitting on a bed of flowers that’s floating along the lake in front of his home

everyone is there. the guardians, black panther fam, avengers (minus nat), fury, etc etc.

even Harley from iron man three !! he’s so grown up now D:

Thor joins the guardians and leaves valkyrie to rule new asgard!!

Steve has to go back and return the stones to their rightful timelines but haha he stays there.

he grows old with peggy and they dance in their home. they were married yall!!!

Bucky, sam, and Bruce turn around and see him sitting on a bench a little while away.

same goes up and talks to him

i thought he was pre-serum steve but YIKES he’s old instead

he passes the captain america mantle to sam, i was so happy

there’s a lot i didnt mention but this is long enough as it is sdfgsdjhfg.

this movie just made me cry so much. it was the perfect end to this ten-year journey. i mean i would obviously love if they didnt kill off tony. he’s my favourite character so god damn was it hard to see him go. but it made it that much more emotional. marvel will always remain my favourite franchise of all time, this movie was absolutely everything i wanted yet so much more.

please dont be afraid to dm me about ur thoughts on the movie! cry abt everything with me!! ask questions!!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 233: At Least He Has Some Spares

Previously on BnHA: Twice made a duplicate League of Villains to take on Re-Destro. Re-Destro took this in stride and very calmly inflated his left fucking arm and slapped the whole lot of them so hard that most of them literally died. But the clone Shigaraki survived somehow and scuffled with RD for a bit while RD told him the story of how his great-great-granddad was born with a quirk and his mom was like “please be kind to my baby” and society was like “nah” and then they killed her too just for good measure. Anyway so this was of course the original Destro’s Origin Story, and his mother later on became a kind of martyr figure once society began rethinking their whole outlook on the whole superpower thing, and they even borrowed the term “quirk” from her as a way of trying to honor her I guess. But Destro and his descendants weren’t happy with the fact that quirks are still regulated and ~suppressed~ and blah blah blah, so I guess in RD’s mind this gives him justification to be a massive dick and wantonly murder people left and right. It’s all very political and complicated. Anyway, so in the end the Actual Tomura came over to RD’s tower and used his quirk and the tower came crumbling down, and now Tomura and Re-Destro are gonna fight.

Today on BnHA: We jump around Deika City getting updates on the rest of the League. Twice is currently trying to save Toga while Skeptic sneaks up on them both. Spinner is duking it out with Hanabata and his squad of Dudes With Spikes All Over Them And Stuff. We learn that Spinner’s quirk really is just “Lizard Quirk. That’s It. That’s The Quirk”, which, fine, whatever then. Dabi and Blue Bunny and Compress are off somewhere, presumably. Slidin’ Go is directing traffic and about to be flattened by Gigantomachia (or so we can hope). Giran is running off with one of the clone Twices (“running off” as in to safety, as opposed to them getting married or something. although). And Tomura is having his hand ripped off by a Hulkified Re-Destro and his newly revealed Stress quirk! Just, plucked right the fuck off, like a flower petal. It’s pretty horrific! And meanwhile Horikoshi is dipping out to go take an honestly well-deserved vacation, so there won’t be a new chapter next week. So basically just good news all around. Anyhow, so Tomura seems to have his hands full here and it may be time for him to hand in the towel and hand things off to Machia before things get out of hand even more well anyways enjoy the chapter guys.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

so once again I got an Intriguing Anonymous Ask, but I only skimmed it because it seemed to delve into some of the details of the chapter, albeit in a very vague way that probably didn’t actually reveal anything. but one thing I did pick up on was that there may possibly be a break after this week’s chapter? if so I will cry but then I’ll get over it I GUESS

(ETA: well enjoy your hiatus then Horikoshi you knave.)

anyway so let’s get into it

quick observation before I actually start reading the chapter itself -- so apparently the title is “Bright Future”? correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought we already had a chapter with that same title though. chapter 161, also known as the Nighteye Fucking Dies chapter. is the kanji slightly different or something, perhaps? if not that is odd

(ETA: so after reading the chapter, serious question: is this Horikoshi’s idea of a joke, or. ...

but yeah, the kanji is different. or rather, this chapter’s title isn’t written in kanji at all, but in katakana, whereas 161 was written in kanji like normal. as for the why of it, though, your guess is as good as mine. right now “mangaka has a fucked-up sense of humor” is basically at the top of my reasons list.)

anyways, clicking to the actual chapter now, and... oh wow

okay I think I mentioned the movie The Island a few recaps back, and my sincere apologies to everyone for making repeated references to a typically dumb and explosion-y Michael Bay movie where Ewan McGregor tries and fails to speak in an American accent and everything explodes for no reason and the protagonists cause so much collateral damage while being hunted down by the bad guys that you almost start to wonder if it wouldn’t actually be better for everyone if they did just die. but anyway, so I’m sorry to keep coming back to this movie, but -- and spoiler alert for a 14-year-old Michael Bay film you guys -- the plot is basically that scientists figured out how to clone people, and so Rich People immediately proceeded to make clones of themselves to keep for spare parts so that if they ever needed organ donors or the like, they’d have a perfect match available

and anyway, so you can see the connection here, right? basically this is a super-pragmatic application of Twice’s quirk, and I have to applaud the logic and ingenuity, but also bro that’s kind of a fucked-up thing to do though, sob. let’s just make a spare Toga so we can immediately harvest her blood, oh boy. though in fairness it is Toga, so maybe she won’t mind since Harvesting Blood is like her thing

also can we take a moment to appreciate how thoroughly wrecked this Skeptic!Puppet!Twice is, though. the one that’s just lying there dead. like, his leg’s all bent the wrong way and he no longer has a face and I fucking can’t stop staring at it though. I feel better knowing that it wasn’t actually a real person because that’s seriously all kinds of fucked up

anyway now the Twice clones are arguing over who gets to measure Toga. and Horikoshi has honestly built up a lot of goodwill with me over the course of this Mineta-less arc filled with hot Girans and LoV character development, but all the same he’d better watch himself though, because all of that could be gone just like that in an instant if he tries to get cute! so don’t push it dude

(ETA: and not to harp on this or anything, but Twice did clone Toga back during the My Basement Academia arc (in chapter 147), so there wasn’t really a need for this scene to begin with. but whatever, he didn’t really go overboard at least.)

okay good, actual!Twice (? is he the real one?? he’s the only one without a mask and he’s not using his arms so I think it’s him, at any rate) is shouting at the others to get their shit together

Twice Status: Still Hot. wow, and barely two seconds after I made that remark about Horikoshi needing to focus up. should I take my own advice perhaps. eh

oh my god

nooooo now I’m actually really upset that one of them’s gonna get sacrificed for the other! noooo Toga

and now we’re getting additional background information on Twice’s quirk, specifically about the fact that his clones’ appearances and personalities/memories are based on the last time the clone target was measured and the last time Twice saw said target, respectively. makes sense. so anyway because of that the clone Toga is also all beat up

friendly reminder that Toga is only seventeen and still just a kid, albeit a freaky sort of horror movie-type kid. but anyway, so I’m feeling really fucking protective of her though, and I need them to hurry up and save her already!

oh my god

yes, Dabi is the poster boy for great plastic surgery results. staples left in and everything. then again I don’t know how bad off he looked before, though. we still don’t actually know what the original injury was, aside from it obviously having something to do with the whole “his quirk fucking burns him from the inside out” thing we recently learned. you know what might help with that, Horikoshi? a flashback, omg

yuh oh

gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this is Skeptic coming to fix his screw-up before Re-Destro snaps his neck like so many Mitsubishis. or whatever that damn mouse’s name was. Miyashita?? actually I think that was it lol

anyways so let’s now turn the page and confirm if it actually is Skeptic

...confirmed

also, holy shit. just, holy shit to everything. that freaky close-up of the puppets’ faces; that blobby image of one of the puppets being formed; Skeptic’s crazy eyes in the bottom panel; him screaming I HAVEN’T FAILED!!! over and over again, etcetera. just, everything. good lord

and now we’re cutting somewhere else. looks like it’s Spinner and a bunch of the clone Twices dealing with Hanabata’s over-inspired lackeys

Spinner what is your quirk

okay so as he’s fighting he’s doing that shounen thing where he uses his keen observational skills to come up with a strategy on the fly

yes, please feel free to take him out! he’s annoying and he hasn’t done anything interesting, so really he’s just dead weight as far as this arc goes. feel free to use your quirk, too, buddy. if you even have one, holy shit. Horikoshi’s probably keeping it safe in the same place as Kacchan’s hero name

anyway so now he’s fighting his way through the waves of redshirts and trying to reach Hanabata’s van

he’s thinking that his job is to “lighten Shigaraki’s burden, if only a little”

awww. League of Loyal Bastards. I can’t believe there was ever a question of you possibly betraying these guys, Spinner. I’m sorry for doubting you, guy

Hanabata seems worryingly unconcerned, though

who the hell wears their watch on their right hand? what time is it, Hanabata? it’s time for you to fucking die already that’s what

-- oh

so it’s some kind of Magic Quirk Watch then, eh. should have figured as much

also, “A MAN WITH A WEAK SUPERPOWER SUCH AS YOURSELF” oh? please do tell us more about this quirk! also how is it that you of all people know Spinner’s quirk. Giran’s intel, I guess? I’m suddenly really annoyed that the Liberation Army apparently knows more about the LoV than we do. bastards

anyway so now Hanabata’s own quirk is being revealed, so I guess let’s see what that’s all about

okay so this is exactly what we all thought it was based on what we’ve seen of him so far. so I guess this weird mask is basically just a big microphone thing. imagine if his and Mic’s quirks were combined

at any rate if it’s not clear, I really couldn’t give two farts about Hanabata or his quirk and I just want to see Spinner take him out, and then have Gigantomachia show up and save Toga and Twice, and see Tomura kick RD’s ass. oh and Dabi still needs to beat up Rita’s Italian Ice too, I guess

(ETA: okay but Horikoshi would it really be too much to ask for at least one of these things to actually happen oh my god. my poor villain children.)

-- OH MY GOD

EVERYONE SHUT UP SPINNER���S QUIRK IS FINALLY BEING REVEALED AHHHH

lmao was I too invested in this perhaps. all this time and all this mystery and it really does end up being some little lizard quirk that lets him cling to walls? and this is how it’s revealed of all ways? he doesn’t even get an official Quirk Reveal Box?

I mean, this can’t possibly be it. he’s gonna do something badass and unexpected, and then we’ll get his Quirk Box and we’ll all be like, “OH SHIT! SPINNER!” and so forth. right??

(ETA: I seriously can’t decide if this will actually be the case, or if this is another Sports Festival scenario where I’m firmly expecting the typical shounen thing and Horikoshi has something else planned entirely.)

wow

as opposed to you? your power is literally just “I can get stupid people all hyped up.” it’s probably given you an overinflated sense of your own importance, and I can’t wait for you to get one-upped by this lil lizard boy with his ninja turtles costume and the tactical knife he bought on Amazon

oh shit lol

so I guess that’s as good a way as any of syncing up all of this action to one timeline again

heh Hanabata’s panicking a bit

I’m enjoying this, ngl

oh shit!

this motherfucker really popped through a magic quirk hole in the wall and grabbed onto Spinner and suddenly got all spiny just like that oh shit

AHHH

SOMEONE HELP OUR BOY, HE’S BEING PORCUPINED BY FUCKING REDSHIRTS. WHAT IS THIS

now Hanabata’s directing all of the remaining cannon fodder to go and help Re-Destro. well at least that’ll get some of them off of Spinner’s back

YESSSSSSS

GET HIM SPINNER GO FOR THE JUGULAR!!

AHHH SPINNER FLASHBACKS YESSSSS, THE MY FLASHBACKS ACADEMIA ARC CONTINUES

I’ve suddenly been struck by the urgent need to go do my dishes from last night omg. Spinner would it kill you to take the fucking trash out at least

oh shit you guys he’s making a speech!

IT’S HAPPENNIIIIIIING. go, Spinner! speech! and then kick some ass! and then Quirk Reveal Box and “OH SHIT! SPINNER!” just like we planned!!

sob why am I empathizing with this guy who’s getting inspired by Stain and then by Tomura’s “let’s destroy everything! :)” rant of all things. what has this arc done to me. Spinner I can’t relate to you at all omg. but, just like every other member of the League of Villains, at your core you’re really just someone who was searching for a place to belong, and damned if that’s not the most quintessentially human struggle of all

so to sum, you sure picked some questionable role models there but I support you, kid

sure Horikoshi, go ahead and just fling Spinner’s super-weak and boring quirk in my fucking face then! lol okay I get it! it was never meant to be some big reveal to wow us all at a dramatic moment; the whole point is that he’s utterly unremarkable, and it doesn’t matter because despite what the MLA believes, quirks don’t define who a person is. all right, all right. that’s cool then

no you dingus he’s trying to say that even if he doesn’t have a big flashy quirk, y’all ain’t shit either and he’s still going to kick your ass

-- OH SHIT YOU GUYS!!

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO ADVISE YOU ALL THAT OUR HANDSOME BOY GIRAN SURVIVED THE TOWER FALL AND IS FINE AND DANDY! and still handsome! so we all can rest easy now on that account, thank god

omg omg omg

Tomura VS Re-Destro hype intensifies!!

also lmao because I genuinely think he’s asking him for real because he can’t quite sort out reality from his sleep-deprived hallucinations right now

or maybe that shouldn’t be “lmao” on my part, because that’s actually a legitimately concerning thing, there. but I can’t help it guys, he’s so tired and fully and entirely out of fucks, and RD is so fucking screwed and doesn’t even know it and it’s going to be so goddamn satisfying I can’t fucking wait

anyways, no, Tomura. he was not. but he’s apparently got some sort of Hulk quirk. so you just do your best and you sic your own Hulk on him then if need be

yessss he’s talking trash, yes, Tomura!! you’re doing great!!

IT PROBABLY FEELS BAD! I BET! HAHAHA. SUCK IT

LOOK AT THIS YOU GUYS OMG

ranged attacks and everything, now! I wonder if he’s always had this sort of capability and we’ve just never seen it before, or if this is another new development. probably the latter. those six weeks of training really leveled him up

wow even his fucking shoes are disintegrating now

so GiranTwice are getting the fuck out of Dodge, and Giran’s right arm just sort of ends in this big mess of bandages omg

don’t worry Giran, Twice is gonna get Dabi’s plastic surgeon on the job. you will be fine

holy shit you guys would you look at this fucking shounen bullshit

I’m starting to get an inkling that this will be the kind of fight that’s going to look amazing in anime form, but will basically just be a lot of flying rocks and smashing panels in manga form. and I’m prepared for that if that is indeed the case! I have not forgotten what genre this actually is, and that this is still a manga where the main character’s attacks all end in “SMASH!!!”, and every so often we get to a point where the characters who are at the center of the current conflict just have to punch it out. so I’m not going to complain

but I do hope that won’t be all there is to this, though. and ngl, I have higher expectations for BnHA’s fights than for any other manga’s fights, and I’m still expecting a few twists here

(ETA: oh lord I should just learn to keep my fucking mouth shut.)

oh shit

poor Spinner. fucking Re-Destro gets a Quirk Reveal Box before he does

also it does seem to be a Hulk quirk then, huh. so it’s safe to say that once Gigantomachia shows up and they hash things out, there won’t really be a town here afterwards. like, this entire city is about to be straight up wiped off the map. that’s lowkey terrifying to think about

-- HEY WHAT THE

(ETA: sob he looks so shocked. that’s right Tomura, it’s the hard knocks path to redemption for you too, buddy boy. probably when you go talk to Ujiko to get it patched up after the arc is over it’ll trigger some more character development somehow. just, my point is that you are an important character in a shounen manga, and so, unlike people in real life, you at least can be somewhat assured that your pain is probably happening for a reason.)

fuckING -- IS THAT REALLY -- DID THEY JUST

DID THIS MOTHERFUCKING INKBLOT HULK MAN REALLY JUST PINCH MY BOY’S HANDS BETWEEN HIS GIANT THUMB AND INDEX FINGER AND JUST FUCKING PLUCK HIS FUCKING FINGERS OFF HOLY GODDAMN FUCK

DID HE DO THAT TO GIRAN. IS THAT WHAT HE FUCKING DID TO GIRAN I’M ABOUT TO FUCKING -- I CAN’T --

IS THIS FUCKING ATTACK ON TITAN, GODDAMN!? WHAT THE WHY

THERE REALLY IS A HIATUS SOB I CAN’T. I HOPE HE HAS A GOOD TIME ON HIS VACATION OR WHATEVER, THEN!! BE THAT WAY! I KNOW YOU’RE A HUMAN BEING AND ENTITLED TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF AND GET SOME GODDAMN SLEEP AND GO TO CONVENTIONS OR WHATEVER, BUT I’M ALSO ONLY HUMAN, AND WHEN YOU TAKE MY WEEKLY FIX AWAY WITH NO PRIOR NOTICE, I’M GOING TO GET CRANKY ABOUT IT. I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY

GOD DAMN IT

fuck

sob. okay sorry guys, I’m done being dramatic now. so let’s go back and finish up those last four panels that I haven’t actually read yet orz

lol there already practically isn’t a town there anymore. Giganto you better hurry up and come finish it off. this asshole is out here playing the most vicious game of eenie meenie miney moe the world has ever seen with your boss’s hands and it’s very upsetting

who the fuck is this

lmao what. someone’s actually trying to visit the city? turn your van around, pal. we are closed for business for real here

and then our last two panels are Slidin’ Go being all punchable, and then getting shaken up by a sudden earthquake omg

I WONDER WHAT THAT COULD BE omg. :) :’D

well shit. so! 

a wild Gigantomachia approaches

Slidin’ Go is living on borrowed time presumably (good riddance)

Skeptic is trying to harass Twice again while he’s busy trying to save poor Toga’s life, like excuse you dude, no, please fuck off

Dabi is currently MIA and still fighting Dippin’ Dots while trying to keep his organs from getting any more roasted. maybe a flashback would help you there, Dabi. I don’t know how, but it couldn’t hurt, surely. I promise I have no ulterior motives in suggesting this

Spinner is trying to work out how to score a really satisfying victory to show us all that Quirks Aren’t Everything

Giran and his bandaged arm are running off to safety with Twice, which is the only thing that really matters in the end here

and Shigaraki Tomura has just had his own hand Luke Skywalkered in the manga’s latest and greatest instance of Cruelty Against Limbs. but at least this presumably means that he himself is about to get a hell of a lot hotter if Giran and Twice are anything to go by

so yeah. a lotta stuff going on. so really it’s the perfect time for a hiatus. lol

well, friends. I’ll see you all in two weeks I guess. hopefully someone will lend Tomura a hand. ba dum crash

[argylemikewheeler]

All Right.

|| Steve accidentally comes out to Jonathan in the worst way possible– and Jonathan takes the worst of the aftermath for him. warning: homophobic language (but from already gross people) ||

Steve thought he’d read the signs so clearly. Jonathan had asked him to a late night movie, offered to pick him up, and grabbed his arm when the killer jumped out from behind the doorway. Steve thought he had gotten it all right.

Fuck, he’d thought it was a date.

Jonathan parked outside of Steve’s house, his hands sliding off the steering wheel and landing on his lap. He sighed and Steve could feel the “now what” hang in the air.

“This was nice, Steve.” Jonathan said. “We don’t typically hang out. It was good to just be out for a night.”

“Yeah. I had a great time, Byers.” Steve unbuckled his seat belt and turned in his seat. “Thanks for the popcorn.”

“Only because you bought my ticket.” Jonathan shrugged, laughing. “Fair’s fair.”

“No. Really. Thank you. This was… This was really nice.” Steve could feel his words dropping off, his hands tightening around his sleeve cuffs. God, why did Jonathan somehow look better in dim, shadowed light? It made his eyes brighter and his wonky smile far more endearing. Steve didn’t know it was possible.

“Anytime, Steve.” He reached over and squeezed Steve’s arm, just below his shoulder. Shoulder. Steve should’ve known.

“Hey, Jonathan… Can I ask you something?” Steve muttered, placing his hand on top of Jonathan’s.

“Yeah, absolutely. Need me to recap the plot of our movie again?” He teased. Steve wasn’t sure if he had laughed. The nerves were eating him alive.

Steve didn’t have a question. Not really. Well, technically, he was introducing a new concept to their conversation but he didn’t want to say it– not really. But he still wanted to ask. Suggest it, in his own direct way.

With a quick inhale, rapid blinking, and a muddled prayer, Steve leaned in and kisses Jonathan.

In a matter of seconds, Jonathan had a question of his own for Steve.

“W-What are you doing?” He backed away slowly, sounding almost pitiful of Steve. “I think you read this all wrong, Steve… I’m so sorry.”

“N-No! No… No, it’s my fault. It’s… No, don’t– I’ll see you at school, Jonathan. I’ve gotta– okay. See ya.” Steve fumbled for the car door, yanking it open and nearly tumbling into the grass.

“Steve! Wait!”

“No! It’s fine. I just, I’m tired! It’s a school night we should. Yeah. I should go!”

Jonathan watched Steve run all the way up to his door, but didn’t get the privilege of watching any of the self-criticizing sobbing that occurred in the late hours of the evening.

God, Steve had never felt so stupid in his life. Thinking Jonathan Byers was into him? Thinking Jonathan Byers was even gay, first off, big mistake. Steve had been making mistakes since the morning bell that day and drug his sorry ass all the way to midnight with a streak of horrible missteps.

Worst of all: outing himself in a parked car– his first parked car with a boy– and immediately being told he’d read it all. wrong.

That’s all he was, huh? All wrong.

At school the next day, the mistake followed him. Just like Jonathan did.

“Hey! There you are, I’ve been trying to find you! I wanted to talk.” Jonathan caught Steve by his locker, grabbing his shirt sleeve.

“And I don’t really want to talk.” Steve hissed, trying to turn away. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“It wasn’t a big deal, Steve. Really.” Jonathan said loudly, trying to pull him back in without outing his business to the hallway. He looked at Steve earnestly, allowing Steve to cut off the conversation there if he truly wanted.

The thing was, Steve did want to talk about it, but he didn’t want to be known to be talking about it. Admitting he needed someone to just acknowledge that he was attracted to other men– and not threaten him with a switchblade– was like admitting everything within him had been accepted as well. But he hadn’t. Steve was still nursing the fresh wound– both figuratively and literally– of coming out to himself. Needing to be heard felt unbelievably selfish to Steve– especially if it was to the man he’d kissed without fucking asking.

But really, Steve wanted to talk about it. He needed to just say he was absolutely not straight and that he was sorry.

“I really thought…” Steve bit his lip and stepped up to Jonathan again. They leaned against the lockers, trying to look inconspicuous. “I thought you were coming on to me… I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Jonathan was too cool with it, Steve thought. Like, the last time someone was this cool with it was because they were trying not to throw their temper– and the dining table– through the roof. “It wasn’t a bad, uh,” he paused as other students passed them, giggling to themselves. “not a bad first, honestly.”

“… first kiss?” Steve cocked an eyebrow.

“with a guy, Steve.” Jonathan shoved his arm teasingly. “I’ve kissed girls before.”

“Had me fooled.” Steve felt comfortable enough to snap back playfully. Jonathan was still smiling, and that was a weakness Steve always leaned into.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly prepared.” Jonathan said, blinking with faux surprise. “Let me know, next time you’re going to ‘ask me a question’.”

Steve ducked his head and covered his eyes with his hands. “I’m sorry you had to witness that. I was a complete dork. God, I’m embarrassed. Kill me.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. I thought it was endearing.”

“Don’t say that.” Steve sighed, letting his hands drop. “That sounds like hope.”

“Sorry.” Jonathan said solemnly. “I really am not like that, Steve. I’d tell you if I was.”

Steve didn’t want to argue with Jonathan, to point out that his friend had created an other by accident. He hadn’t said that was “like Steve” or even “gay”. He said “like that”. Like that. Some unnameable sin. He was comforted and only half mortified. The other half came when Tommy came gallivanting down the hallway, his friend Lewis in tow. Steve rarely spoke to Lewis but had seen him in his neighborhood. He apparently lived on the other side of the street, but Steve didn’t care to fact check.

“Oh fuck this guy.” Jonathan groaned, resting his head against the locker with a thud. He’d been spotted which meant he couldn’t walk away without the fear of being chased down and pulled back for more belittling.

“I’ve got it.” Steve said, clapping him on the arm. It was instinct. He still felt guilty. Jonathan had said no. He wasn’t like that. He wasn’t all wrong.

“Well well well, if it isn’t Hawkins’ biggest lovebirds.” Tommy laughed, clapping his hands together.

Steve turned his head and looked around at the thinning crowd before staring at Tommy. “What are you on about?”

“Catching a little alone time before lunch, huh, Harrington? Byers being a sweet little lady for you?”

"Quit talking shit and spit out what the fuck you mean.” Steve snapped harshly, righting himself on his feet. All the doubt he’d had rising in his throat suddenly sank down to his stomach.

“Lewis here saw you two last night.” Tommy thumbed over to his friend. “Saw you feeling up Byers in the dark. Trying to get a little action wherever you can, huh?”

“Leaving Nancy turn you into a Nancy, Harrington?” Lewis jeered.

“Shut you fucking mouths. You don’t know what you saw.” Steve tried not to act disgusted. He wouldn’t give those idiots the satisfaction.

“I know what I saw, Harrington. Two shadows never get that close unless–”

“It wasn’t Steve.” Jonathan said suddenly, turning to lay flat against the lockers and face both groups. “I kissed him. It was me.”

“Jonathan,” Steve hissed quietly.

“I took him to a movie and… and I thought it had been a date. It was a misunderstanding. It wasn’t Steve.” Jonathan told the lie in its entirety, not disparaging any part of its kind intentions. Jonathan really didn’t mind.

“How could you mistake Harrington for a fairy?”

“Are you blind, Byers?”

“Probably.” Jonathan shrugged, sighing. He wasn’t insulted, absorbing every sharp edge of their words before they hit Steve. “Side effect of being gay, I guess.”

“You better watch out, Harrington. Don’t let Byers touch you– you might catch it–”

“He’d only be so lucky.” Jonathan quipped, lifting his eyebrows. “Move along, dickheads.”

“Hey, I didn’t ask for your demands, freak.” Tommy shouldered Jonathan, slamming him against the lockers.

“Hey! Hey! Let’s not…” Steve stopped, his hand resting on Jonathan’s chest. His heartbeat was so loud but so slow. It was speaking to him, but without any fear driving the call. Steve would never know it for real though, he knew. He’d never feel it against his hand, warm and pounding, jitters shaking them both to their bones. “Let’s not get suspended before lunch. Again, Tommy. Come on. You’ve only got attendance working for you on your college applications.”

“Keep your fucking hands off of me, Byers.” Tommy spat, shoving Steve into Jonathan. “Good luck with the poof, Harrington.”

Lewis, for good measure, shoved Steve again. His head nearly missed clocking Jonathan’s and breaking both of their noses. But neither were quite bothered; they’d been that close before, thanks to Steve’s idiocy. Lewis and Tommy stalked away and left Steve to stumble back, gawking at Jonathan.

“Why did you do that?”

“I don’t care if they think I’m gay.” Jonathan shrugged. “That rumor won’t reach anyone important.”

“Yeah, but–”

“Your dad knows everyone here.” Jonathan said shortly. “I’m not letting your life get ruined like that.”

"I– Jonathan, you didn’t have to do that–” Jonathan would be opening himself up to treatment that he wouldn’t even understand. Steve wasn’t sure if it was helpful or ungodly stupid.

“My mom is never going to hear that lie. Only person who could ever is Will, but he’s gay so he’s not going to care.” Jonathan pushed himself up to his feet and brushed himself off. “It’s okay, Steve. I’d rather you be safe.”

“Thank you, Jonathan. S-So much.” Steve stood awkwardly, his arms lifting and falling back to his sides. “C-Could I hug you?”

“I would love that.” Jonathan laughed, pulling Steve in.

He braced the back of Steve’s head with his hand and squeezed his shoulder tightly. It was a full embrace. Steve couldn’t feel Jonathan’s heartbeat anymore, but he could feel the lift of his smile against his cheek. And honestly, that was better. It was a dream Steve never thought to have. He had a best friend– like a real one– and knew Steve was somewhere in the middle of every confusing post-pubescent feeling available. Steve had a best friend that would risk everything for him– because Steve had risked it all over one stupid, heart-aching impulse.

“I love you.” Steve blurted, tightening his arms around Jonathan’s waist.

“Back ‘atcha, Steve.” Jonathan clapped Steve on the back before pulling away gently. Steve was mortified, but Jonathan seemed to hold nothing against Steve– just his jacket lapels in his hands.

“W-Wait. Your brother’s gay? Little Will?” Steve sputtered, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah.” Jonathan nodded nonchalantly. “He wrote me a note the other day. Told me the whole nine.”

“So your mom really wouldn’t care.” Steve hoped he didn’t sound jealous. It really was just disbelief.

“No. Not at all.” Jonathan laughed, shaking his head. “I’m pretty sure she’d be confused why we were telling her– ‘it’s none of my business, Jonathan. Just be happy and safe’”

“She’s said that?”

"She found my freshman project on biblical allusions in literature and thought I was becoming a devout Christian, but I figure it applies just the same.” He started walking down the hallway, knowing Steve would follow. He laughed again and Steve couldn’t help but chase the sound. “But I know it isn’t the same for you. I couldn’t ask you to fess up to those idiots like that.”

“I could’ve just lied.”

“You could not.” Jonathan shot Steve a look, smirking. “You’re a terrible liar, Steve. Like. The worse.”

"I’ve been acting straight this whole time.” Steve said, shoving Jonathan and sending him wobbling back toward the lockers.

“Okay okay! Maybe you can lie a little. But, not then. That would have to be boldface denial. And that’s harder, Steve. It’s better if I just took the heat off of you. I mean, tell people whatever you want, but at your own pace, alright?”

“You’re a really great friend, Jonathan.” Steve confessed. It felt intimate to admit between two men, but it was a platonic statement. Steve had never felt this close to anyone, in any respect. He hoped Jonathan understood he really did love him, in all ways. Even ways Jonathan couldn’t. And that was okay too.

“You aren’t half bad either.” Jonathan wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders, bumping his side jokingly. “Not a half bad kisser either.”

ao3

[fieldbears]

Washed-Up Stucky MNF/Fic Writer Provides Endgame Opinions

I’m going to try to tackle this linearly, at least to begin with:

I am very much Team Bored With MCU Hawkeye, but I want to give sincere props for the cold open, which I think accomplished several things simultaneously: recapped the consequences of the last film (since, hey, it’s been a fuckin while), set the tone, and began Clint’s narrative arc.

That said, jesus, I’m still irritated by the shoe-horned family to begin with. First they were invented for convenience and narrative stakes, and then their final, ultimate reason for existence was to be temporarily fridged. Take a moment to imagine a world where Clint was the circus runaway loner he was supposed to be, who only had his coworkers as found family, who either responded to The Snap by throwing himself harder into his teamwork work OR went rogue because his sense of justice and agency was so fucking destroyed by what happened. He didn’t need a blood family to have the arc he had. And he didn’t even need the arc he had. But this is a bitchfest about a choice made many years ago, not made in this final movie.

The first third of that movie was rough. The whole thing had the narrative flow of “A Series of Related Short Stories Played One After the Other”, but the first third seems to be Failing To Establish the New World and then Clumsily Establishing The Emerging Situation.

The establishing shots and scenes to show the audience what The Snap’s consequences were worldwide were... lacking. It’s dark? No more baseball? People are relying on natural light instead of interior lighting, but this is also happening at Avengers HQ, where they clearly still have power and internet access to work their tech, so... was it just an aesthetic choice? I feel like the film tried to spend time showing us what the consequences were for the average New Yorker, but instead we get a weird Canonly Gay Russo Character who gave a good performance that tells us about the human loss but not about the mechanics of this new world. We get the ‘no baseball’ shot and all we get afterward are ‘people miss the missing people’. But restaurants still exist? Businesses are functioning? (Wouldn’t New York run kind of smoother if it wasn’t overpopulated?) I feel like we were invited to start thinking about how this dystopia works, but were never given answers. (There are so many interpretations of how things could go wrong if certain people just disappeared, and their knowledge/access were suddenly unavailable, and none of it was explored, even briefly, outside of establishing shots.)

The Garden Planet - it’s discovery, the traveling to it, the fight there - lacked emotional grounding in a way I find hard to explain. The audience was excited for Brie Larson being a fucking boss, and the quick execution of the grab-him-and-cut-his-arm-off plan was satisfying, but the twist and subsequent letdown was just a weird beat after a slog to get there, after waiting on a deep letdown beat from the last movie.

Last thing about flow and emotional beats, because I want to move on to character analysis, and this is a huge one for me: Clint’s fight in Tokyo and Steve’s fight with himself were some of the biggest missed opportunities in the entire film.

Not counting the football field brawl at the end, which I don’t count as a real fight scene, these are the two major fight scenes of the entire film and as far as I can tell, there was no effort made to make these showpieces. They went to the trouble of bringing Clint to Bladerunner Central, and pit him against the last bastion of aesthetic-obsessed mafia in the world. The panning camera in the interior as Hawkeye fought goons brushed past lazy fight scenes that only showed who was winning, not the brutality that Clint was supposedly falling into, not the grit of this new awful world, just... shapeless dark bodies getting thrown through windows? And on top of that, they could have made up (or picked from canon) any Big Bad to pit him against outside in the street, and we get an Orientalist sword fight that could have fit in nicely on a CW superhero show, and some of the most unnecessary exposition dialogue I have ever heard. Someone bothered to weave Clint’s arc in earlier, with Rhodey explaining to Natasha that Clint’s gone International and also Worryingly Dark. Why the fuck do we have the ‘I’ll give you anything you want’ line, on the rotten cherry on top of ‘stop being mean to the yakuza, we didn’t start it’? You already covered his motivations with the cold open.

And while Steve’s fight ended in a FABULOUSLY HEARTBREAKING WAY, the fight itself was nothing - you can pick little character details out like how they both ditched their shields almost immediately, and it was funny that Then-Steve mistook Now-Steve for Loki in the first place, but it was still a completely lost opportunity to get one true superhero battle in this three-hour slog. Both Steves could have gotten up and carried out the rest of the narrative after a decent brawl, but instead they fall a great distance after some blocked shots and it... was nothing? Missed opportunity for some cool shit.

Okay, skipping to character assessments now:

Clint’s character has been mishandled from the beginning and this seemed to be the “better late than never” eleventh hour arc. Except the end of the arc is unclear - it made sense for him to fall apart after losing his Shoehorn Family, but how did Natasha’s choice to fall do anything but fridge someone else, with more agency this time? It makes Natasha noble, which she already was, and it made her win against Clint, which I appreciate, but Natasha didn’t need salvation through death and Clint learns nothing by getting them back, just experiences relief.

Bruce. I want to say, first, that I love Hulk in a Cardigan. Cardihulk can stay. I want fanart, I want t-shirts, give me all of it. But Bruce’s explanation of “I scienced it so I could get the best of both worlds” only gives us half of the acceptance that Banner’s character is already working towards. As we saw most explicitly in Ragnarok, the Hulk isn’t just a physical form, he has his own separate consciousness, originally defined by rage but revealed to be more complicated. Bruce merging into Cardihulk seems to have... erased Hulk’s separate consciousness without merging it into himself? If there had been some acknowledgement of a second voice still within him that shot out opinions or demands for certain menu items in the diner, this would have been a much cleaner end to his arc, which has been equally messy between actor and narrative shifts.

Speaking of Ragnarok... it’s time! Are you ready? Have you read articles about the Gambit Gambit too? Are you fucking depressed that a fat suit was used for comedy gags in the year of our lord 2019? Because I was. The Russos seemed to... not struggle with what progress Ragnarok had put onto Bruce and Thor’s characters, but reject it. This movie’s Thor was anxious for laughs, was desperate for easy answers to a a feeling of lost heroism, and it didn’t feel like a familiar character. The time-travel scene with his mother wrapped it up very elegantly, and was well performed, but that scene didn’t need to follow a series of “chunky drunk in sweatpants” jokes to show us that Thor was struggling. Everyone in the film is fucking holding on by their fingernails, but only one is played for cheap laughs.

At least we get the bisexual Asgard lady king we deserved.

Tony got the right death. He got a hero’s death and Pepper’s last lines of “you can rest now” were exactly the right lines to wrap up an arc characterized by fear and a desire to protect and control at any cost. I knew the MCU was never going to really acknowledge that Tony’s The Problem, even with lines like ‘you should have let me do the fascist robot thing, that was gonna work fine’ thrown around pretty much as soon as he touches down on earth again.

I’m not sure if there’s much to say about Natasha. It was fitting that she was running HQ, that she was struggling, that she was rejecting emotional help from Steve but clearly still close with him. Seeing her break down after hearing the report on Clint felt right after, I think, being told by several directors (or making the personal acting choice? idk) to just be as flat and as decolletagey as possible. And again, while I feel like she would be self-sacrificing on that cliffisde if given the opportunity, and that she would win, the narrative choice to place her there and have that be her end didn’t really give her anything she didn’t already have. She had nothing to prove.

I have a hard time really laying out my thoughts on Steve without launching into the pregnant absence of Bucky, but I’m going to try. Chris Evans did a good job being the emotional heart of a really fractured story with a lot of conflicting pieces. Seeing him lead a talk therapy session after The Snap seemed very out of character for him until one realizes that Sam isn’t there to lead it himself. His scene offering help to Natasha was another good scene between them proving that not every m/f relationship has to be sexual to be interesting or add to the plot. His leadership speech during the Stupid Fucking Slow-Mo Heroes’ Walk to the platform was well done and makes me think of what could have been for the MCU, if they’d ever just let them be a cohesive found-family team for twenty minutes and let them fight some doom-bots or something. Fuck. Imagine.

Something weirdly satisfying about the deceitful ‘hail hydra’ line in the elevator. Yes? Yes.

The hammer scene was satisfying to me without being too gratuitous, but I’ll acknowledge that some people weren’t into it. Having paid more attention to Steve’s arc than most, I’ll argue that he earned it several times over.

His ending - that is, the secret life he alludes to but doesn’t explicitly reveal to Sam - is earned too. I’ve read at least one thing saying that Steve’s arc was all about him learning to let go, but that’s... never what Steve does. Not at the end of any arc, of any comic story, does Steve let go. Not of his principles, not of the people he loves, he is always “Thinking... Thinking About Bucky!” and getting in fights he can’t necessarily win. So I don’t think his final ending is ever Learning to Let Go. I think it’s fair that it’s Just Once, Just This One Time, Getting What You Want And Getting To Enjoy It.

And now I’m backtracking to Bucky. I’ve read one article already that theorizes that Steve’s arc, which was highly prioritized, included literally as little direct interaction with Bucky as possible because... the MCU? the Russos? Marvel?...  is aware that Steve/Bucky is the most popular same-sex ship in the MCU. And that’s tiresome as fuck but I think there’s some truth to it. I wonder if, like in Civil War, we’ll hear later from the actors that a lot of contextual one-on-one scenes were shot and then mysteriously cut from the final edit.

I will say that in my head, Bucky is relaxed when Steve goes back in time for the final time, and lets Sam goes to talk with Steve one-on-one at the bench, because Bucky is not worried if Steve will come back, and does not feel a need to check on Steve on the bench. Because, like Peggy, Bucky has been getting secret visits too. Maybe as far back as during his time in Wakanda, but certainly since the final fight with Thanos. Bucky was calm because he already knew. He didn’t miss Steve because Steve hadn’t given him an opportunity to do so.

d

[365days365movies]

March 8, 2021: The Thief of Bagdad (1940) (Part One)

ARABIAN NIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS

Aladdin is actually the first film I ever saw in theaters, according to my Mom, and I do adore this movie. In case you’re wondering, I thought the remake was...OK. Not great, not terrible, but...not bad, y’know? But yeah, I love this movie, even if it’s not exactly the most accurate to the original story of Aladdin presented in The Book of One Thousand and One Nights.

Interestingly enough, though, this movie instead takes from a much more recent, much newer source for a lot of its inspiration. And this is going to begin a chronologically-ordered foray into cinematic fantasy. So, back to 1940, in a time period where fantasy films began to explode in popularity, thanks to one film that came one year before.

Yup. The Wizard of Oz, considered one of the greatest films of all time, is still a classic that holds up today, as well as being arguably the most high-profile fantasy film in all of film history.  But a year later, Hungarian-British film director Alexander Korda came out with an often-forgotten film: The Thief of Bagdad. Which was ACTUALLY a remake of a silent film from 1924!

But I’m going with the 1940 British film instead! And honestly, I’m excited enough to just get started here! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Before I get into all of this, I think I need to say this at the jump: this is a film from 1940. Most of the main actors are White. Yeah. Duh. Not ALL of the are, but the two love interests definitely are, alongside the villain. And NONE of the actors are from the region that the film takes place in, except for possibly the extras. So, yeah, thought I should bring that up before anything else. ANYWAY

A ship pulls into port somewhere in ancient Arabia, and before we start here...I can’t even SLIGHTLY comment on the authenticity of this film, costume wise. But in the meantime, I can at least enjoy the color of this film, which are beautifully bright and technicolor.

A mysterious man has come into port, seeking a sleeping princess and a blind beggar. I won’t say the name of the traveler yet, as I don’t know it from the film itself as of yet. He and a young woman named Halima (Mary Morris) go into town to find the blind man, named Ahmad (John Justin).

Speaking for the mysterious traveler, Halima invites Ahmad to a palace, alongside his trusty dog, Abu (a good boy). At said palace, a princess is afflicted with a ceaseless sleep. The man would appear to be an advisor of some kind, and also does not know how to end her sleep. She is apparently in love with the blind beggar.

Said blind beggar is being attended to by many maidens, and to them (and the advisor), he tells a story of his dog’s past life, a street thief also named Abu (Sabu), who’s stealing food, pursued by a group of angry salesman and citizens. He parkours away from them all, keeping one jump ahead of the bread line.

There will be MANY Disney puns, I’m warning you now.

From a rooftop, he sees the young Sultan of the kingdom, Ahmad’s past life, named...Ahmad. He is accompanied by his Grand Vizier: Jaffar (Conrad Veidt). Yup. Really. Also, he’s the same guy playing the advisor from earlier, meaning that this is also HIS past life. Neat!

Like a Vizier do, Jaffar whispers in Ahmad’s ear, trying to get him to do less-than-great things in order to show his power. Ahmad, however, is a kind man, who wishes to show such kindness to his citizens. He goes into the city that night, with Jaffar’s encouragement, in order to discover more about his people. He begins this by listening to a sermon, prophesying that the tyrant Ahmad will fall to Allah’s will. Awkward.

Not that it’s about to matter, since Jaffar tells his men to arrest Ahmad, as he’s now dressed as a citizen, and to claim that he’s a madman if he claims to be the Sultan. It works, and Jaffar is crowned Sultan as Ahmad is thrown in prison. It’s there that Ahmad meets Abu, who’s also been arrested. A madman and a thief.

The two plot to escape from the jail, and Ahmad learns that he’s presumed dead by the populus. After Ahmad realizes that Ahmad’s not mad, but the actual Sultan, they decide to flee to the kingdom of Basra by travelling down the river for three days. Time for a cruise!

We skip ahead quickly to the glorious city of Basra, which is...impressive. It’s genuinely gorgeous, and it was filmed in...THIS ENTIRE THING IS A SET? HOLY SHIT!!! That is legit impressive, goddamn. In Basra, Abu trains Ahmad in the way of subtle thievery and trickery, and they learn of the Sultan of Basra, who has the world’s largest collection of toys, like a proper nerd. He guards his toys more carefully...than he guards his daughter. Well, OK!

Speaking of the Sultan’s Daughter, a commotion clears the marketplace in order to clear a way for a procession, at the center of which is the beautiful Sultan’s daughter, Jasmine. No, not really. But considering that she’s only credited as The Princess (June Duprez)...I’ll be referring to her as Jade.

Attended to by Harlem Renaissance legend...the Singer (Adelaide Hall, who is one of the big figures from the early days of jazz), Jade would appear to be a somewhat bored young women, disaffected by her upper-class life. So, yeah, Jasmine. And Ahmad is, of course, wildly in love with her at first sight.

Ahmad has to see her again, and when Abu notes that they have tickets on a ship helmed by Sinbad the Sailor (trying to set up a 1001 Nights Cinematic Universe, nice), Ahmad insists that he has to see Jade again. Abu agrees, and helps him get into the palace garden.

There, he pretends to be a genie in a pond, using reflections while he hides in a tree. She falls for it (somehow), and he just simps all over her. She notes that she’s come to the pond to bathe, and he notes that he’s paid good money for his OnlyFans subscription, and wants some of that sweet, sweet bathwater. Which sounds like a semi-topical humorous exaggeration, but is BASICALLY THE TRUTH I SWEAR

He reveals himself to be a real live simp, and she responds by IMMEDIATELY kissing him. Goddamn, they’re fuckin’ perfect for each other. They agree, but her father will not be pleased. Still, they pledge to see each other again. Which pisses off Abu, because now he can’t go on that trip and set up this film franchise. He agrees to stay with Ahmad to help him get Jade.

Which is gonna be WAY goddamn harder, since Basra has a new visitor in the form of the usurper, Jaffar. He’s come to meet with the Sultan of Basra (Miles Malleson), a man who is absolutely obsessed with toys, big ol’ nerd that he is. Which, again, is SUPER used in Aladdin. To win over the Sultan’s favor, Jaffar brings in a mechanical horse. And that horse can FUCKING FLY WHAT THE SHIT

And this is when the GF (she says hello) informs me that this is ANOTHER REFERENCE to One Thousand and One Nights! Apparently, there’s a flying mechanical horse called the Ebony Horse, given to a King! It really IS a 1001CU! But back to the original story, and the Sultan WANTS the goddamn horse. In exchange, Jaffar wants only one thing: his daughter. And he immediately agrees.

She ain’t havin’ that shit, and she tells one of her handmaidens to find Ahmad in the garden, and tell him to meet her in Samarkand (another reference!), where she flees to avoid the forced wedding to Jaffar. However, that message doesn’t get to Ahmad soon enough, and he’s arrested in the garden by the palace guards, along with Ahmad.

Overjoyed to finally be able to stab the EVER-LOVING FUCK out of Jaffar, he tries to tell the truth to the Sultan. However, Jaffar uses his magic to...make Ahmad blind. Abu tries to tell the truth instead, only to be...turned into a dog. Wait...it’s not past lives? THEY’RE LITERALLY THE PRINCE AND ABU? Abu is a FUCKING DOG? Damn.

Back in the present day, Ahmad finishes his story, where the maidens tell him of Jade’s fate: she was caught by slave traders and brought back to Basra, where she quickly fell into a trance that she hasn’t awakened from. Although, she apparently still talks in her sleep about the Genie of the Pool.

They take him to see her, and she IMMEDIATELY wakes the fuck up! The two embrace, reunited at last, only for that reunion to be interrupted by Halima, sent by Jaffar to “end the masquerade”. That can’t be good. She takes Ahmad away under false pretenses, and she’s told that she can cure his lost sight by seeing a doctor. Ahmad leaves Abu with her, for protection.

However, this whole thing was just to get Ahmad to wake Jade up, so they could kidnap her and put her on a ship back to Basra. He throws Abu overboard (MOTHERFU-), and goes to speak with the Princess. As she notes that she was roised a cure to Ahmad’s blindness, he claims that the second the two of them embrace, Ahmad will see again. Damn...dude really wants a hug, huh?

AND IT WORKS! Not only is Ahmad able to see again, but Abu is a human again, as both of their curses are broken by a fucking hug. Um...somebody hug this man. Goddamn. The Hays Code is STRONG with this one, holy shit. And it’s ESPECIALLY weird, because Jaffar literally admits that he could MAKE her love him, but wants her true love instead. Um...fuckin’ YIKES, buddy.

As she runs away, he pursues her outside, and they look out to see that they’re being followed in a boat by Ahmad and Abu. And then Jaffar pulls an Elmer Fudd, and goes “NOWTH WINS BWOW”, and summons a storm after the two on the sea.

GREAT place to pause, I think! See you soon, in Part Two!

[elizabethrobertajones]

14x08 watching notes

This episode is the Worst I had to lie to my mum when I came downstairs trembling and tear-stained to get a cup of tea to recover, and play it all off as cold symptoms, and now I feel complicit in some sort of deceit with the episode and like Meredith broke the fourth wall through sheer pain.

Good morning, I slept in until seven after they started digging up the road outside at 9pm at night, so I still kinda have a lingering headache from that, but I'm pretty sure Meredith is about to make good on the Dean n Jack murder pact or something else of that level of awfulness so... *deep breath*

-

YAY it is Lily!! I mean it was pretty obvious from the costuming because wow she's a distinct person but idk maybe some people thought it was her mom?

Anyway getting a recap just of how terribly Jack is doing and then also a reminder of Lily Sunder is just.. Good recap. *kisses fingers*

(*curls up in agony*)

In all the drama I never noticed Rowena being among those who yelled "Jack!" when he went down and to be honest she knew him five minutes and I'm crediting all that panic in her voice to his absolutely ridiculous powers of being the most adoptable creature in the cosmos. You take one look at him and you want to make sure his shoelaces are tied properly and he has a glass of milk.

Anyway he totally caught Rowena off her guard and made her express an Emotion(TM) that was not spite and a good chunk of that is new and improved Rowena of the last year or so, but also just... She bonded HARD :P

-

Ironically I left the spoon in my coffee in my haste to get up here and start watching so now I will drink it like that and possibly exit the episode also wearing an eye patch

-

I watched a second and tucked the largest, most comforting stuffed toy this family owns under my arm. Yes, not my personal stash of friends, the family heirloom squishy guy who has been with us through all the worst stuff D:

-

The framing is Sam sitting at Jack's bedside, Dad no.1 as season 13 firmly established for us, and the dad with the closest traditional relationship of father/son to Jack. Then Cas hovers nearby, struggling to be as close but still Dad no.2 with the ongoing and uncomplicated connection to Jack in the sense that both just sort of accept they're now father and son without any debate or internal wrangling, and that's always been Jack's in with the family and the way he inadvertently got Cas to vouch for him from beyond the grave when he said Castiel was his father and Sam immediately just flipped to Team Jack, not, of course, that he'd not been giving him a huge chance and trying to reach out to him already, but that was his "oh shit this is now my son because Cas is dead" moment.

Finally, Dean fills the foreground, face in shadow, the conflicted Dad no.3 who can't even face his dying son, taking it personally because this is literally the fourth smol child he's taken under his wing who he then lost, from Sam, Ben, Emma, a truly tragic collection of lost children. He resisted adopting Jack because he couldn't be a parent again, not after what Sam put him through as a parent, and yet Jack, the most adoptable boy in the cosmos, eventually wormed his way under Dean's skin too, and by the end of season 13 Dean was acting fatherly towards him and by this season Dean's been opening up the doors and letting Jack be his son. And. Whoops. As SOON as you took him on a hunt for one on one father son bonding time, look what happened.

And so Dean will lurk in the foreground, not looking at Jack, peering moodily into some dark empty box that metaphorically is his soul or his remaining ability to cope with losing children or some such nonsense. The pandora's box of parenthood. He's full on dark romantic hero brooding.

-

OH  NO  IT IS A RECORD PLAYER NOT A BOX

-

I need our family to retroactively adopt a larger, squishier friend to hug in this trying time

-

Having archived every single one of my watching notes ever between last episode and this episode, I'm more than usually pained by Dean's "not meant to be crap" line because he's been resisting it the entire frikkin time, when Sam kept, even long long long before they knew their real destinies, musing if HIS own personal angst was meant to be and Dean was like don't give me that destiny crap. I swear there's lines about this back in season 2 or 3 when Sam is musing on his powers and the grim lot fate had dealt them. This is a callback line to Dean dealing with his own sense of unravelling control and pure panic about what was happening to Sam, back when that was a thing in the very early seasons and he was having to face the kid he raised from a baby amongst all that tragedy now recklessly declaring all sorts of horrific things about not being able to resist his destiny. Oh, also, in season 2, while under a murder pact from John about killing him if he couldn't save him.

Honestly, it's barely a relationship worth mentioning if you don't have a murder pact going with Dean. Ben is literally the only one of all 4 children AND CLAIRE who hasn't had one with Dean.

-

If this episode involves Dean bringing any of his records in to play for Jack I'm gonna go out in my pyjamas and take a long walk to the sea and then keep walking once I reach it

-

Dean you did not walk nearly far enough for Jack to not hear you thump the wall outside his room

-

PS: totally figured the promo scene was an early emotional beat between Dean and Cas which utterly delights me because the earlier that came in the episode the better as it meant less and less chance it was about anything other than Dean and Cas having an intense relationship over this whole thing.

-

Jack is the absolute worst about dying. He's this saintly angelic little boy from like, no later than 1900s literature, who exists only to bravely suffer and love with his whole heart. He's snatched out of an era when kids needed morality tales about how to die politely of consumption with the least amount of fuss for their parents and 300 siblings.

How dare you fucking die selflessly. Humanity is at its Bithc This Isn't Fair stage. Throw a fit. Go walk into the sea out of protest.

-

Okay you're in Kansas I understand how that is an unrelastic option and I grew up spoiled by the immediate location of the sea should I ever need to walk into it.

-

This show has never made me cry before the title card before.

-

This is the Pippin and Gandalf scene from Return of the King with the whole Into the West thing that they wrote for a sick fan who died before the movie came out and literally Annie Lennox sings what would be Jack's THEME for this scene.

-

Sam is horrified that Jack didn't even live long enough for a LotR marathon to explain the reference that's making him bawl.

-

I LOVE that this scene with Dean n Cas is just about Dean being a wuss about watching his son die because that's so much worse than Jack having asked for a mercy kill or anything. And this all before the title card. Cas tearing Dean a new one about going in and watching your son die smiling beautifully like a little cherub who can't wait to find out what happens next.

-

Jack's gonna be dead before the title card, isn't he?

-

Oof.

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Hey, Dean, one more reason to hate yourself :) :) :)

-

Also robbed Cas of watching him go.

-

But I think tbh they could have done this if Dean wasn't being a coward about watching Jack die that they would leave Sam to sit at this side in the last moment.

-

Ugh, my eyes are leaking too much to type. What the hell is all this wet stuff coming out of them.

-

I've never seen a TFW shot where Sam was the shortest but he is slumped over like someone cut all his strings.

-

"Your brother's in pain" AND WE'RE NOT? YOU'RE NOT? CAS ISN'T?

-

Dean stopping Cas going after Sam with just a catch of his shoulder... Ugh. The two of them are still connected through all this in a way where Cas and Dean are connected whether Dean's in the most obvious pain or Sam is.

-

Cas, pls be selfish and in the most obvious pain at some point this episode.

-

Oh please don't make me watch Dean telling his mom that Jack died

please

I beg you

-

They put a photo of Kelly next to Jack's bed D: Or has he always had that?

-

That's not even the photo that Cas had pinned to his board in 12x10 and yes I went and checked, I'm leaking tears too much to watch because Cas is standing over him and this is going to be the worst while Dean's answerphone message lays over the top.

I'm so not here to watch TFW mourn their son.

-

They had him for like a WEEK this SUCKS.

-

ALso I said "please don't make me watch" so they cut away to Cas mourning silently while Dean talks to Mary's answerphone because Meredith is an evil fairy who whimsically takes your wishes and twists them into even worse options.

-

*takes my glasses off and throws them aside angrily when Sam emerges carrying a duffel over his shoulder and wearing the fucking orange jacket he first met Jack in*

-

God, I don't even wear them for focus, just lack of headaches. Why was I bothering.

-

7x10 and this episode are probably going to be unholy companions in this show's canon

"She's come down with acute Tear Duct Blockage. The only option is head amputation or we make her cry, NOW" "Don't worry, I have just the thing."

-

Dean this answerphone message huuuurts

Also explains the Buckleming issue of not calling Mary, to just say, yeah, it escalated, rapidly.

-

Your brother is storming off and Cas is broken.

-

If I have to see Cas see a set of PB&J crusts and a glass of milk identical to what Dean saw in 9x10 I'm - well, I'm still here instead of walking off into the sea so my threats are starting to look a bit performative. BUT I'M THINKING IT.

-

Cas watches Sam go, while Dean is being dwarfed by the bunker and obfuscated by its maze of corridors.

-

*presses my hands over my eyeballs* STOP. STOP IT. GOD. You're not even sobbing or anything you're just lEAKING. This is so annoying! I'm gonna dehydrate and they'll find a shrivelled skellington here and I'll go with just a few quiet sniffs and a dumb smile on my face like fucking Jack did.

Now I'm just distraught about the first time ever in canon we see Cas drive, it's in his dumb blue car and Dean's broken and not up for driving even if Sam presumably hadn't stolen the car for his errand/driving until he finds the sea and walking off into it mission. All my myriad fantasies about Cas behind the wheel of the impala and Dean grinning at him like yeah that's my baby (which one is he talking about?), and nope we're getting Cas's little partymobile and Dean's mute expression of grief.

-

NEVER MIND THEY SHOWED ME SAM CURLED UP ON THE GROUND USING THE IMPALA AS A BELOVED FAMILY HEIRLOOM TO HUG AND I SOBBED OUT LOUD FUCK  YOU MEREDITH FUCK YOU

-

I need the tissues why were they not here in preparation for this episode

-

I need to avoid my mum all day on the ground of spoilers because my face is a walking spoiler

-

"TELL ME YOU DIDN'T  MAKE A DEAL" "wha- no, I'm trying to make a pyre"

Making a pyre doesn't usually involve curling up on the floor.

Cas is getting an accidental glimpse of 13x01's emotional landscape, not that anyone will tell him this was what it was like for Dean, that we now have Sam in the spot of. We're getting some mirror image missing moments, like we just saw Dean get the axe out but did see him begging God... in this one we see Sam go take it out on a tree.

-

Incidentally I re-read all of Terrible Coffee AU two days ago for Reasons and the scene where Sam is whaling on a tree while screaming into the sky is pretty much this. Which is fucking hilarious that 2 years ago I decided Sam taking out his feelings on the local trees was a Thing when he was depressed.

(I wrote that scene the day Eileen was murdered on the show and honestly at the time he was mostly just angry on canon!Sam's behalf and I figured I'd come up with plot reasons later.)

-

Oh, they weren't driving the party!mobile, they were driving something else. I'm not even gonna ask where they get these vehicles

-

Yeah I'm harping on Dabb vs cars because Cas is talking about Jack's story ending like this and certainty of death for angels and this is just... the worst.

-

the story line - Cas deciding how their stories go. Dean resisting the how it's supposed to be of Jack's death. TFW want to take the narrative into their own hands. We KNOW in this world deaths are stored in notebooks, potential ways to pass that you skate past until one claims you. They're free to write their own stories but the ending is always pre-written for them... It's just a matter of which one. But Cas especially... Jack was supposed to bring paradise, and maybe the emotional landscape between season 12 and 14 is a gulf of difference in their openness and bonds, largely facilitated by Jack's presence in the narrative and relentless open love for everyone who was nice to him and even those who weren't in Dean's case. He breezed through their lives, manic pixie dream girl'd them to emotional health, and mayfly'd out. But that's THEIR stories. That's not JACK's story. That's not the epic destiny something as cosmically powerful as him was due, and the potential he was shown to have... It abruptly gets into the territory of Dany having her whole Stallion That Mounts the World prophecy for the son she lost... I've not watched the TV show since it diverged so wildly I couldn't hack it any more, but the books with everyone wondering if, like, Jon Snow was this guy instead, etc, picking this that and the other guy... what if Dany's lost child WAS the only one it applied to and the prophecy just fizzled out? ASoIaF looms over Jack's narrative... He's literally been framed against an Iron Throne in the past, and his character arc for parts of season 13 was a sort of anti-Joffrey in many ways. And then in death, GRRM's unromantic look at fairytales and heroic narratives comes for him too, that maybe it doesn't always happen like the stories say...

... but of course, he also has LotR coding, and in THAT regard, Sam Gamgee has his good old speech about the heroes in the stories and how we relate to them and are inspired by them and become them. The stories that matter. And Jack's was supposed to be one of those. In a way, their lives have been so epic that Jack mostly having a personal impact rather than a cosmic one seems wrong to them. That he didn't become the great hero of his own story, but was a tragic hero who ran a dramatic but personal arc and burned out because his asshole father killed him and his asshole uncle presumably finished him off with an experiment in grace transfusion. At least if my dashboard is to be believed :P It's inconcievable to TFW, the "making it up as we go" people who tore up the script and threw away the pages, that they can't just make this happen or that Jack didn't serve some great purpose. Even men as weary of Destiny as they are, struggle. Just because that was their lives, so how could the son of all three of them not follow in all his fathers' footsteps?

-

"Jack being taken before his time... Being taken before *me*" Cas shut the fuck up.

But that is the speech from Theoden, and once again Sam is Gandalf, which is fucking hilarious that Sam's been Gandalf TWICE this episode.

Ever it's grown on the tombs of my forebears...

you have four bears???

-

God dammit that joke didn't stop me crying as they go knock their glasses together and hold Jack's lil 3 dads wake

-

3 Dads Wake is a great name for a whiskey

-

God, Cas is drinking.

-

CAS.

-

They need to give him like one bottle to every finger of whiskey they drink but dammit if they don't get Cas loaded.

-

Letting them talk privately about how aweomse Jack was and not letting us hear it is a crime

-

Listen you don't even know me if you didn't think as soon as the nougat appeared on screen I didn't hit pause and sob for a whole minute with my hands over my face

-

Officially worse than bobby and the goddamn licorice conversation

-

Cas laughing with caramel hanging out of his mouth is the worst thing the sho whas ever done and I'm suing for emotional damage

-

Imagine being one of the bitter stans who hates one or more of TFW or Jack right now watching this scene. God, are you even human. They're eating Jack's secret nougat stash they all pretended they didn't know he had.

-

I can't believe I'm now thinking that Lily showing up will probably be a lighthearted way to bring up the mood of the episode.

-

Cas is offficially wobbly! We have Cas tipsyness!!

-

Sam tapping out first. Oh no. Don't leave. Don't.

-

Fuck you Sam Winchester how dare you canonically be the most lightweight of TFW consistently for the entire show and need to go crash off the side of your bed and sleep on the floor while Dean n Cas are still drinking together.

-

Did Dean seriously outdrink Cas.

-

Well that's... something.

I am gonna cling to that like a rock in the churning sea I have walked out into.

-

Also I managed to calm myself down with walking around my room taking deep breaths so I could go downstairs pretending not to be a wreck, so I could get tea, and my mum made me finish the sudoku for her. I don't have the heart to show her this episode. She loves Jack more than anyone in this god damn fandom and maybe more than Cas does. Maybe I'll lie to her and say the show ended last episode and Jack was fine hahahahaaaa

-

OH FUCK I hit play and there was a single line of dialogue for the whole wake. Dean drunkenly slurring to Cas, I think, you know we did everything we could, right?

I'm...

*walks further out into the ocean*

-

"Here's to you Jack, wherever you are" I am not okay.

-

Oh fork you Meredith we did not need to see the boy in Heaven eating burgers.

-

Oh fork you Meredith we did not need to see the boy in Heaven eating burgers while on a case with all of his dads.

-

OH SON OF A BENCH THIS IS THE DODGE CITY CASE AKA 13x06 MEREDITH YOU DINK.

-

Oh dear, Heaven is broken. Who was the ashhole who was saying that Jack should die so that he can go to Heaven so he's well-placed to help deal with all this nonsense.

-

LOL Jack would be the sort of person who goes to Heaven and doesn't need more than a second of prompting to be  like oh wait I am dead and in Heaven, and just, like... Go open the door. Just pop his head out like cooee I wanna hang with my dads anyone here to replace the bulb in the sun so I can carry on hanging out here for eternity?

Like, seriously, I'm dead, this is when I am supposed to catch a break.

-

Let The Boy Say Fork.

-

Listen, secondary to his power to be adopted by everyone on sight, Jack is uncanny also with just walking into trouble.

-

And to try and be clam for a moment, this is Jack getting pulled back into the story, but not just by unfortunate happenstance, because he was the one with the sharpness, the cosmic awareness even on this level that Heaven just doesn't quiiiiite work for him in the way it's supposed to even if say it was at full power, that he is the one who voluntarily not just understands instantly that something is wrong, but then is fully snapped back to his old self, and chooses to open the door, and that is the moment of choosing to continue his story, at least for now.

It's like how the last time we saw Bobby chronologically was in Inside Man and Cas and Sam woke him from his repose and got the fighting spirit back into him enough to open his own door and rejoin the story for one last hurrah... And it was a choice there too, a moment of once more telling the natural order to screw itself, Bobby could step outside the proscribed ending of his narrative one last time.

Unless Jack finds him and is adopted on sight today.

-

Sam looks way too healthy.

Invigorated by having a Plan

-

Lils. Finally getting to see the Bunker filled with all her stolen research notes.

And no that wasn't canon before, but boy am I hoping she recognises her research amongst all the bunker's angel lore.

-

Men stealing fuckin everything

-

"We've never looked through Kevin's angel tablet translations"

HAVEN'T WE?

NO

WE HAVEN'T

THEY HAVE BEEN THERE

FIVE

FUCKING

YEARS

And every forking time something comes up where they might be useful I say, HEY WHAT ABOUT KEVIN'S ANGEL TABLET TRANSLATIONS?

and the show says

hey so we don't have the angel tablet but we do have the demon tablet

and I'm like I'm sure that won't have any dumb side effects that could be avoided by having the angel tablet translation just on hand in your archive

did Meredith hear me screeching

because I screeched very very loud after 13x14

13x13 sorry

that was Bucklemming handing her the wrong fucking tablet

-

this is bitter vindication but feels even better than her and Bobo remembering the grace extracting needle in 12x19

-

Glynn is a fucking gift.

-

On the other hand this episode now is pulling on 9x06 and 12x10 at once and that makes me feel woozy

I can't deal with a Glockeybo combo

-

Also waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Kevin's handwriting. I can't deal with that AND Bobby memories AND FUCKING NOUGAT DEATH

-

Which I mean I do feel instantly better about once he opened the door and let himself back into the story and I stopped crying at once and cheered up and Lily is indeed providing much needed relief, wild as that all sounds.

-

Lily trying to explain her soul magic to Sam and Dean, rubes who haven't done a single enochian calculation in their lives.

Wait, no, Sam has done one, in ... 12x19 ...

But yeah, a rube and a completely self-taught asshole who knows like one thing about it.

And she's like oh yeah just use his soul and they're like AAH WTF LILY and she's like er this is the most obvious thing in the world what is the problem here

-

where are my cas reaction shots

-

Jack wearing an eyepatch for the rest of the show would be adorable and hilarious

-

"it won't cost much... he'll never miss it" trust me his soul is enormous and boated with sweet nougat love, he can spare it, guys.

-

Dean being able to say "Jack's dead" one day later, when he couldn't say it about Cas practically until he was BACK

-

Nice trade. TECHNICALLY nothing dodgy about it at all, at least in the sense that aside from resurrection consent issues from Jack, once he's back the choice is still on him to choose to grow old and die as Lily has done, or even to stop using the magic to sustain himself and die again immediately if he is squicked out by it... Or it all comes from trading on his OWN soul power.

Definitely better than demon deals or having any favours looming over them etc

And with Heaven in the state it's in, honestly sending Lily there might be easier than they think if NO ONE IS LEFT TO RUN IT.

Er, imminent ghostpocalypse issues aside.

-

We're in ghostpocalypse territory as of a minute ago show time, btw.

-

Cas has quietly observed all this chatter and we get back to him when he says, "Don't you think Jack should decide for himself" so honestly Cas is right there with me, and I always like when me and Cas are the ones agreeing on a thing in the episode.

-

Obligatory reminder that Sam is more aware than most about soul stuff

*takes another piece of coal off the pile I was going to send Meredith for ruining christmas*

-

HEY, ANUBIS.

Don't tell him about what they did to Osiris

Unless that would amuse him

Wait never mind Meredith is literally throwing in amusing snark about 7x04 which I think when Adam Glass disowned that episode (despite how I actually think it's really good and he was too hard on it) he never expected anyone would ever want to throw in amused references about it in canon ever again.

-

"When God left - sorry, long story - " Lily is one of the few people who seems able to conceptually roll with the nonsense TFW deals in all day.

She should join the squad. Always room for a 100 year old badass with deep enochian lore knowledge.

-

I'm sorry has Jack crashed Kelly's heaven or is this a rando little girl. I immediately thought she was Kelly in the long shot and they substituted a lil girl for POV when we got closer and actually had to go back and look again and she was the little girl all along.

-

This also conceptually looks so much like Cas's eternal tuesday afternoon.. A rainy, flower-filled garden.

-

Roosevelt looks SO much like the doggie in 11x20 aside from anything else

-

IT IS KELLY

-

This is horrifying since they never ever got to meet ever until now and I'm suing Meredith

-

I mean I'm already suing her but I'm just adding this to the list of complaints. My laywers are working overtime on this episode.

-

FORK!! THEY GOT HER BACK FROM LEGENDS OF TOMORROW FOR A DAY!!!!

-

Can Kelly and Jack go on a rampage around Heaven to fix things?

-

Her hair is suspiciously darker from the back which I think is her Legends look from the gifs I've seen

-

Wait, Bobby had a forking dog called Rumsfeld, and Kelly has Roosevelt.

-

"Hi mom you're dead"

".......................................................... NOooOoOooooOOoo No no no baby no"

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

-

Dean resisting the spell and complainging "gotta happen, no other way" is making me feel like the Heaven Drama is going to smack them right before they can get it all done and give them a LOT MORE to worry about than Jack but also give them a roundabout way to see him again and also, of course, mean Lily might be useful for an entirely other purpose while she's here...

-

Dean right now is rationalising this through the lens of that all their terrible deals have been terrible and that this is just one more step on the Winchester life and death merry-go-round, and of course that Jack is about to get the full family treatment he deserves. But that's the Winchester lens of looking at things that even when deaths are brutal and lives cut unfairly short, there's going to be a way to bring them back if they haven't finished their stories. John finished his, in 2x22 seeing Dean get the revenge he needed to be at peace, but everyone else...

Is it ethically right to put Jack on that merry-go-round when he smiled sweetly and died with as much enthusiasm as he gave pretty much everything in his life?

-

The table lamps are out in the bunker D: them being dark is so ominous

-

And Cas shows up like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit something worse going on guys

-

They're so casual about just summoning gods into their front room these days

Of course they're doing it in the spot in front of the door with the war room behind in one direction... The opposite end of the library to where they opened the rift.

-

Sam picks his way through the wet paint but Dean stands right in the centre of this circle for SUMMONING THE GOD WHO DECIDES WHO LIVES AND DIES AND WHERE THEY GO to have this lil chat with Lil?

-

And now Dean steps out of it and corners her with the obvious question - what's wrong with your magic and why are you risking going to Hell to stop using it entirely?

-

I'm so sorry you have to look at more dead angels, Cas

I'm also so sorry they were killed by black slime because wow after season 7 that was a laugh and a half for you

-

... Can you swear in the hallways of Heaven?

-

DUMA LIVES

(probably "for now" though hopefully longer than that)

Ma'am are you aware you have a Nougat on the loose too

I'd love it if Cas is like hi what's happening also have you seen my son

-

This actress needs to come back for a 3rd time to follow Dean around in a crisis moment.

-

OH NO now Cas is coming to the heaven memory and seeing what Jack considered his best memory

-

YEAH. I knew Naomi would show up, I just didn't know when :D

(She wasn't in the credits as far as I could tell but I already sort of knew they were leaving people off? Or maybe I was thinking lol I bet Amanda Tapping is in this episode and they won't tell us... On the other hand she mAY have been in the credits but I was WEEPING MY EYES OUT so didn't clock her despite my efforts to hold myself together and see who was coming up on screen)

-

Naomi doesn't have the most dramatic entrance on the show but she sure is racking up points for good entrances one at a time each time she appears. She never just, like... toddles onto screen normally.

-

"Perhaps the angel side of him knew he was in Heaven" honestly the most tragic thing I was trying not to think about is that he knew the entire time but he was willing to play along and enjoy hanging with his dads for eternity despite that.

-

Oh man it's another dispute over who owns Jack. Is this kid never going to be allowed to just sit and eat burgers and nougat? (Hopefully not at the same time)

-

Also based on last episode where it seemed like the Empty was awakening but had Lucifer's eyes and we were all NOOO fork that!! is there some more complicated forked up aspect to what's going on or is it just itself and awake and coming for Jack?

-

I love how Naomi just casually knows how many people are in Heaven

-

"What's one nephilim boy against all that?" "But he's MY nephilim boy!!"

-

OH NO NAOMI

-

NOT LIKE THIIIIIS

-

We better get an answer on her state by the end of the episode because she's my fave villain bar Metatron on the entire show and devouring her in shadow is just... yikes.

-

"give it a sec" *POOF* Anubis is prompt, okay.

-

He probably honestly is somewhat slighted that they're 14 years into their career and he hasn't clapped eyes on them.

-

"Yeah, we've died." "A LOT."

-

I honestly, at this point, do not blame them for their lax attitude towards the permanence of death. They need a lot of counselling they're not getting and until they do they really are going to always be terrible at this.

-

A brief moment where Anubis is like, am I going to get Flirty Banter with Dean Winchester?? and he looks at him and Dean's eyes are all dead and "my son is dead" and Anubis sighs like welp not today oh well better luck next time, if I survive this...

-

Getting flirty banter with Dean is a sign of high honour and takes you to some very interesting places.

-

Into Dean if you stick with it like Crowley did

-

And Lily's been standing there this whole time like wow these boys suck up all the attention in the room and I kinda hate them

-

Oh I LOVE this abacus. Is this some nerdy ass research that meredith did to know better than most what to expect here? Even I haven't heard this one, though I haven't really revisited Egypt lore after the expected Egyptology phase as a kid...

Anyway the half white half black beads are super interesting in a wider show symbolism way.

-

Oh deeear, Lily.

-

Of course that instantly makes you fascinated about what would happen if TFW stuck their hands over it.

-

What a good line on the show's philosophy about making your own fate - it's not destiny or a choice from above or anything like that. Your individual actions get you sent to Heaven or Hell in the natural course of things and it's weighed in such a way all he can do is use his equipment to read which way you're going... Everything else is down to you. Free Will, write your own story.

Of course, if Lily did some huge sacrifice I bet she could change things.

-

CAS LAUGHED

ugh this episode should be banned.

-

If you hug Kelly I'm rioting.

-

Everyone who ever hugs Cas slaps their hands firmly on Misha's broad shoulders like it's law and digs in and I don't know if it's because Cas has this wonderful presence about him that even when you're around Misha acting him in the moment you get swept up in it, or you just want to hug Misha like that, but Cas hugs look like the most amazing hugs in the universe and everyone just GOES for it.

Also I am typing this nonsense because I literally used up my box of tissues earlier and the next option is stealing a roll of toilet paper. So I will snark and try and ward off the sobbing.

-

"I'm so sorry. I failed you." Kelly, who has spent about 5 minutes in Jack's presence and understands his nature even beyond her blind faith in him from before but now gets to see the evidence of it: "You didn't. You didn't."

Yes, please can more characters tell Cas that he did a good job even when things don't quite go to plan. Dean's drunken slurring about how they did the best they could, this...

Kelly tells Cas how wonderful Jack is like Cas doesn't know and Cas breaks up.

And you know what this looks like and I'm not going to survive typing this and can already feel my eyeballs filling up with water... 10x20 and Jimmy and Amelia talking about Claire at the end of the episode oh god I hate it take it away from me.

-

Oh good Cas telling Jack we need you alive to fix Heaven but just in a passive way where you not being dead means the Empty backs the fuck off rather than you having to DO anything

-

Ooops the Empty is here as Dumas. I suspect she's not surviving this episode but MAYBE Naomi survives.

-

I am saying with full wishful thinking after seeing her completely consumed by black goo

-

I do like the concept of "THERE ARE MAJOR STAKES TO RESURRECT THE BOY. BRING HIM BACK THIS INSTANT. LITERALLY SAVE THE UNIVERSE BY BRINGING THE NOUGAT SON BACK TO EARTH." because that makes it so much different from "hey bring me back and maybe accidentally unleash some terrible evil in the process but we'll deal with it later  because that's what we do"

-

"HE'S OUR KID" Sam snaps

I hate it, thanks

For the love of god appeal to  her more as a fellow parent.

-

Dean DIRECTLY EQUATES Jack and May

Hold me

-

Equating no soul to not being human in front of Sam aka our no soul test case. Owie. Another reminder of just how hard Dean took it in season 6 until he got Sam back, all that skin crawling feeling of being around him...

You know what? Jack reminds me of the sort of example nice ensoulled Sam stuff we saw in 6x12 when Jared was allowed to play over the top sweet and uncomplicted for a few scenes, just to be a total contrast to how he'd been acting thus far in the season. Of course, we saw him for like 3 scenes of Dean smiling in pure relief when Sam did Nice Things before it all got complicated again, and Jack's been a long-time character :P But Sam does have a sweet street that when it emerges in the rare times it can be uncomplicated, is I think the closest equivalent to where Jack's innocent sweetness is drawn from. He's the son of Sam's puppy dog eyes specifically.

But yeah I think Lily just needs to have this resistance and anger about it all to make it so much more of a flip if she were to decide to do the spell, so that it counts as an even gooder good deed to MAYBE flip her chances. By giving her a good work to do.

And hey maybe if she meets Jack for a minute she'll love him and then be changed by the experience and go out and do more good things etc etc.

-

DUMAS IS SO GOOD AT BEING CREEPY!!

-

Misha hammed the FORK out of being the Empty and now she has to live up to it and she IS.

-

CAS don't fight the Empty by trying to stab it, fight the Empty by humming this is the song that never ends.

-

*makes a disgruntled sad noise about being forced to see Jack laid out on a table in his cute lil PJs with his cute lil socks*

-

Wait, if Lily does this spell does this mean she's using up the last of her soul to do it and going to the Empty anyway?

-

ANGRY LIONESS KELLY COMING TO YELL AT THE EMPTY AND GIVE IT A PIECE OF HER MIND

I've just paused after her yelling "STOP" but whatever happens next, she leaped in when Cas was getting kicked around and that's BAD ASS.

-

Hitting Kelly is like... probably a rage button Jack didn't even know he had so I would like to see how that goes over, but we cut to them trying to resurrect him.

-

I forking love how this is 2 seasons in a row where the message seems to be that you live to spite nihilism and the bitter end of death.

-

D'aw even though Sam said they'd pray it was Dean who used prayer to reach out to Cas in Heaven to give him that heads up. Like, totally practical rather than the sort of prayer he's made before to Cas that was all emotional appeal, but, let's save our son, huh?

-

CAS NO DON'T SAY THAT

The Empty might also really want to think about that because it knows you forking suck to keep around so trading yourself for Jack is like... really? do I really want that? :P

-

"Not for years. EONS, MAYBE." Cas, bud. I love you. I want you to stay alive that long. Do you really forking think that with the life you lead you have eons left? I mean it's really heartening to hear you talk about yourself this way. But I have to ask.

-

The Empty telling Cas that it'll come for him when he finally lets himself be happy is forking hilarious. Cas hasn't been happy once in his life and he doesn't plan to start now. Eons, maybe.

Just like that, he's unlocked eternal, grumpy life. Take notes, Lily.

-

I mean on a practical level this is basically like, yeah, this is why Destiel isn't canon, because as soon as Cas allows himself to be happy, he's ALWAYS known he gets punished for it. In 4x20 he rebelled for Dean and was instantly dragged back by Naomi... This sense of another mission, never belonging, always being on the outside and not getting the emotional resolution he needs, and actively running from it at times or throwing himself in the way of danger to make Dean be happy without him... it's interesting honestly that the Empty is here as Duma and not Naomi as she's been the agent of hoiking him back from happiness enough times in canon... And that fear of losing everything as soon as you're happy? That's what first kept Dean from Jack and then as soon as he really truly fathered Jack, happened to him. Like, that's Team Free Will's entire life story, starting with Jess, to date, here with the Empty making this threat.

-

Duma survived!!

-

Cas... really could have just bought a few minutes to do the spell rather than given himself that burden >.>

But he's determined to make a more lasting sacrifice, one that ensures this won't happen again with Jack, that he can always die whenever he wants and go to Heaven and not be bothered here.

-

Oops Jack's angry now. Now he's seen a dad sacrifice for him, he's suddenly got a case of the Winchester Angsts. Dean in season 2, for starters. Not a good place to be D: Dean in season 2 is proportionately his worst season.

-

I'm not crying because I think I already died earlier in the episode, but that was... truly awful... to watch Cas tell Jack he's at peace with it and he loves him and everyone loves him and then Kelly butts in like I LOVE YOU TOO and mom him a bit with straightening his jacket and hugging him and... UGH.

-

Lily has either the start of a heart attack or loses her soul entirely in the background and wanders into a corner to die? Er.

-

OH HEY WE ALSO MANAGED TO GET THE WORST DEAN HUG SINCE 2x22 WHEN HE GRABS JACK. NEVER SEEN HIM HUG LIKE THAT BEFORE, DON'T WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN THANKS

-

Nope, she just dieded.

Let's hope she went to heaven and we get a super corny young Lily surprise Alicia Witt return moment at the end since this episode is just throwing everything at it.

-

It's Anubis' office!!!

Wow, that's a noisy annoying place to work

Still, I LOVE these visualisations of where the cosmic forces of the universe work

-

I called it super corny but I'm DYING to see Lily's fate change.

-

"Say hello to your daughter for me" DOn't make me cry about Lily please I beg you I am run dry

-

OH THANK GOD NAOMI SURVIVED. Hooooooraaaaay!!!!!!! Oh this is a wonderful ending to a perfect episode to not have to deal with her having being consumed and left dead off-screen somewhere.

-

LOL that slam as he realises what's up and even though she obviously can do what she wants, he's still protectively closing Kelly's door to put a barrier between her and Naomi.

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"I'm here to thank you"

Oldest trope in the book, but I love when they look over their shoulder to see if "you" is someone else, and Cas, unflappable Cas, in Naomi's presence, still checks the infinite empty corridor.

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*double checks*

"...... you're welcome?"

Wheee unlocked new plot for altrusim!

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Ahahaaaahaaaaaaaaa Jack wrapped in a fluffy grey robe. Listen. I am

not

okay.

Jack with his burger and Dean's dead guy robe, spitefully living...

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I bet Dean made the burger

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WHY did I type that when I knew how likely it was to make my eyes burn.

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I did not cry at the last scene of them all at the table so I am going to eat extra cookies at lunch as a reward.

And Jack and Cas sharing a little glance, knowing what Cas did. Father and Son's first dire family secret! :')

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And gently roll the camera away to credits to leave them to their happy little scene.

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Presumably with a slow fade so you can fumble for some more tissues.

Gyah.