#and then later when turkish came up he asked how much i knew and then said that we should learn it together 🙆‍♀️

[dreaminterlude]

not to make this a public diary but every time i hang out with crush and he reveals another observation about me i feel insane. today he mentioned that i’m very perceptive and good at reading others, and also very empathetic, both things he’s mentioned before, even when we had only been friends for a month. today he was struggling to figure out how to tell me this, but that he thinks i’m fun and funny, and the way he said it seemed like he was surprised by it. but it’s interesting because people get to know me in the opposite direction: fun/funny -> perceptive -> empathetic. idk i just think it’s funny that

[oxceen]

Alterhuman alphabet!

(credits to @/local-xenogender-icon)

A - awakening

When did you realise you are an alterhuman? At what age, how long ago?

I awakened around two years ago, when I was 12. My neighbour/friend and I were hanging out outside our houses and he asked if I knew what a therian is. I said no, and he explained it to me, and told me that he is one. I was really interested, because I've felt very cat-like since I was a kid, and often saw myself as a cat, and afterwards I researched more about therianthropy and asked my friend a ton of questions and around a week later I confirmed that I am indeed a therian!

B - balance

Does your identity affect your social life (school, work, etc.)? Does it cause troubles or not?

It doesn't really affect my social life much, but I get phantom ears very often and it gets uncomfortable sometimes, and my friends often ask me if im ok bc I'm aggressively rubbing my palm against my head to try and get rid of my phantom shift :,)

C - city

Do you live in a city? If yes, is it hard for you to be away from nature? Does your therio/kintype even need nature?

I live in a sub-urban area (thankfully) because cities are pretty overwhelming for me. The area I live in has plenty of trees and bushes but it's mainly just in people's front yards and I wish there was a small forest nearby that I could walk around in, but sadly there isnt't :(

D - diary

Do you have a diary about your alterhuman experiences? If not, do you want to start one?

I used to, but I kept forgetting to add entries to it so I gave up lol

E - experience in the community

What is your experience and thoughts about the alterhuman community?

So far, everyone's been really nice! Everyone seems to be really supportive of eachother and I've only seen discrimination in the community once or twice. I'm also a little concerned about the nonhumans who are severely struggling mentally due to their nonhumanity.

F - friends

Have you told your friends about your identity?

My three closest friends know, and they're very supportive!

G - gear

Do you have any gear? If yes, is it handmade or bought?

I have an ear headband that my neighbour gifted me for christmas, and although the colours are wrong, I love it and wear it pretty often. I also have a half-finished yarn tail that's been a WIP for a couple months now because I can't find the time to finish it. And I also have a necklace with a green gem, a rainbow and a wolf pendant! It was originally just the gem to match with my best friend's purple gem, but then I added the rainbow (bc LGBTQ+) and the wolf pendant came from an old necklace I got alongside a book (Wolves of the Beyond, I def recommend) that I got in 2nd grade.

I - identity

What is (are) your therio/kintype(s)?

Vancouver coastal grey wolf, Turkish Angora, Western jackdaw, orca and banded linsang!

J - jokes

Do you like to make little jokes about your identity or is it rather serious for you?

Both! I don't really make jokes about it myself, but my friends often joke around about my nonhuman behaviours (in a nice way) and I laugh along :)

K - knowledge

In scale of 1-10, how big do you think your knowldege about alterhumans is? Are you new to this topic?

I'd say around a 6-7. I know pretty much all the basic stuff, but the more complicated stuff like physically-identifying nonhumans and otherlinks I don't really know much about yet, mainly because I've only recently heard about them.

L - liking, loving

Do you like your therio/kintype(s)? Do you love or dislike it/them?

I like my theriotypes a lot! I find my theriotypes really interesting, there's always something new to learn about my kind.

N - nature

Does your therio/kintype live in the wild, or rather not? (E.g. it's a house pet, or it's a robot.)

All my theriotypes are wild, except for my domestic cat theriotype.

O - otherhearted

Are you also otherhearted? If yes, what is your kithtype(s)?

I'm snakehearted!

P - popularity

Is your therio/kintype "popular" or is it rather rare?

I'd say my wolf theriotype is very "popular" if you just look at it like a wolf, but I've only seen one or two therians who are coastal wolves like me.

I see domestic cat therians everywhere so it's needless to say my cat theriotype is pretty "popular"

I see crow therians and raven therians a lot, but I've never met another jackdaw like me. I wonder why /gen

I used to think orca therians are rare, but after joining tumblr I found that there are quite a lot like me!

I've never seen another linsang therian, which makes sense because barely anyone knows asiatic linsangs even exist. They were discovered only in 2013 and we know next to nothing about their reproduction, social behaviours, and diet.

R - real body

Do you feel good about your physical body? Do you experience gender dysphoria?

I don't get gender dysphoria often, but I do get species dysphoria. A lot of the time I wish my legs were shaped differently, or my face was longer, or I had a tail, wings, etc.

S - sex

Does your therio/kintype have a different sex than you?

Yes! I identify dpecifically as a male dominant/"alpha" (I dont really like using that word to describe it)/pack leader wolf because I do not feel maternal instincts toward young wolves. I know this because when I look at pictures of kittens, or see actual kittens, I feel a strong urge to look after them, clean them up, protect them from danger, etc. Aside from these two theriotypes, I don't identify as a specific sex.

T - traits

What are your alterhuman traits? (E.g. a need to hunt, bark, ect.)

I get extremely aggressive toward people who wrong me or people close to me, and my typical response is to growl/snarl at them.

If a friend gets their hand close to my face, I try and play-bite but they always draw their hand away (understandably).

When I'm in a group of people, or I see a group of people, I can often tell who the "pack leader" is within a couple seconds, even if it's not obvious to a human.

Very wide smile during tense/awkward situations or any situation where I feel threatened. It's basically a snarl but bc im physically a stupid human, no one notices >:(

Sometimes I raise my shoulders and then shake myself all out (usually involuntarily), which is like the human equivalent of feather rousing

I sometimes also bump/rub my head on my (close) friends' shoulders as a way to greet them

U - urges

If you have a theriotype, are you good at controlling your animalistic urges? Do they bother you?

I'm fairly good at controlling my urges, but when I get angry I feel like I'm gonna lose control and just go feral on everyone. It's never actually happened though.

W - wondering

How do you think you would look like, if you could physically shapeshift into your therio/kintype? (Describe or put an image here!)

I think I'd just look like any other member of my species.

Y - yarn

If you wanted to buy/make a tail, would it be real fur or fake/yarn fur?

I prefer real fur, but I'd only buy it if I'm 100% certain it's not from a cruel fur farm. But if I'm unable to buy it, I'd make my own, from yarn (which I've already started doing).

Z - zoo

How do you feel about zoos (a place, not z00philes)? Are they good or bad in your opinion? Do you want to go there to meet your theriotype (if you are a therian).

I think zoos are okay (only ethical ones), I enjoy going to them and seeing all the cool animals there. Sadly none of my theriotypes are at any of the zoos I normally visit.

___________

:3

[damfinofanfiction]

Chapter 19: At The Premier

it was belated but here’s a christmas gift from me to you! 

It was a hot day filming at the ranch. Buster felt it upon leaving his joint bunkhouse. He regretted using a blanket due to the nightly chill that he woke up to his undershirt damp with sweat the following morning. He thought he could sleep in a buff if the heat remained constant, but having bunkmates present would keep him from doing so.

The knowledge of the desert climate came prepared for Keaton and the crew as they brought resources from their temporary headquarters in a Kingston Hotel. They had a flask of water for whoever needed it as well as a block of ice that had to be delivered 50 miles to keep the camera cool lest the film inside would melt.

When Buster hoped there wouldn't be any obstacles on set, Brown Eyes wasn't right that day.

Before the camera rolled again, the crew had her out in unbearable heat, but she didn't follow Buster when he walked. Even Buster tried to use the fine string, but it wouldn't do a thing as they struggled to make her move. It was surprising for the company because the cow was fine before and then she disobeyed orders the next day.

A rancher was called to examine the brown cow in her corral to determine what was wrong. Buster sat in a director’s chair while waiting for the results, hoping it was not for the worse.

Buster stood up when the rancher came to him, “Have you found anything wrong with Brown Eyes?” he asked.

“Yes, That cow’s in heat,” He told Keaton.

“No kidding, we’re sweating like we’re in the Turkish bath.”

“No, she is in heat,” then the man explained that his animal co-star was in a cycle where she was eager to mate with a male species. Buster felt a bit uneasy hearing of this. “She won't be of much use until she gets over that,” he concluded.

“How long does that take?”

“Oh, about ten days or so.”

Then it was made aware that the only way to help the cow in heat was to have her find a mate.

The crew was able to escort the cow to the cattle residing at the ranch. Brown Eyes was interested in that one bull but rejected it. The other bull attempted to charge her in jealousy then she was saved from being gored by the ranch cowboys. Buster was disappointed with the failed result and the crew discussed another option.

One of them told Keaton, “We’re gonna have to bring another cow as a double.”

“To hell you can. She has already worked in many scenes. She was insured and I trained her to go through a damn door.”

Another said, “She’s a brown Holstein, no soul could tell her apart.”

Buster pointed to the cow’s face, “With those markings, I bet they’ll notice the difference. We’re not using another cow and that’s final!”

They decided to wait it out.

They would film a few scenes that didn’t involve the cow. Later the company retreated to Kingston for a break from the heat. Buster would visit the ranch daily to check on the animals and the cameraman who chose to stay behind to take landscape shots for a few hours, although neither of them wasn’t sure they would use the country scenes for the feature. Buster sighed at the sight of his lonely animal co-star, sympathizing with her while hoping she would get better luck with the steer next time.

Back in the hotel, Buster had thought of Gail. Her arm had improved by now, and he had considered contacting her to see how she was, but she might be working with Sennett again. He knew that Gail still had feelings for him, but she had to protect her virtue. Buster appreciated her values but doesn’t think he should remain with another fella who had nothing to do with sex. 

Buster didn't want to break a woman’s heart before seeing her present form so he called Natalie instead. He asked how things went and reluctantly told her of the situation and the wait due to this going to Norma.

Then he was informed by his wife of the event in Hollywood that would give him a reason to take a trip back home.

**************

A fine-looking car arrived by a modest house. A man with an athletic stature stepped out and fixed his bowtie, ready to impress his sweetheart. Almost immediately, T-Mobile had shown up also. The driver was a thin guy of average height. He had no bowtie; he glued a loose one to his shirt. Gail came out of that house to happily greet her two admirers. The muscular man proudly wipes the vehicle with his arm. The other guy did the same to his car, only to suddenly break down to pieces.

“And cut!” Del Lord called through the megaphone. He was satisfied with the scene they had done. “You all did very well. Just for one take, we didn't want to put that thing back together,” he said about the car. 

Harold, Maxwell, and Gail had resisted moving except on commands from their director.

She raised her hand, “I can do a variety of expressions if necessary.”

“Oh yeah sure thing,” he nodded, not seeming to care. Gail had worked with directors before. She never expected to be anyone’s favorite and she’s just another pretty face so she’s nothing different. Moving on to the scene, Del called, “And action!”

Gail hoped her new role was worth it. She enjoyed every minute in front of the camera. On her first day back, she was surprised to have been greeted by most of the players and bathing beauties. She was glad to be appreciated in the studio.

Soon after the filming concluded, a studio secretary came to Gail in her standard dressing room, “Pardon me, Mr. Sennett would like to speak to you at his office.” 

Gail gulped. Did she not meet Mr. Sennett’s expectations? Is he gonna fire her? She took a deep breath to get her emotions in check as she went into his office. 

There a middle-aged man who had yet any grays on his hair was lining up one of his framed pictures of comedians who used to work for him, “Good afternoon Miss Anders, would you please sit here?” After she obeyed, he asked, “Do you have any plans for Friday?”

“No, I don't think so. Why?”

“Charlie's film The Gold Rush will premiere that evening. How about showing up at Sid’s theater?”

The request baffled Gail to the point that she could not speak.

He explained, “I’m bringing the employees here as plus ones, and because you worked in that film; I would like you to come along. So what do you say?”

Gail had never been to a premiere before. She didn't think she would attend one that soon. She had visited the Egyptian theater before but not as much as the simple movie houses she regularly attended, she gave it a thought before she responded, “As a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I’d be happy to accept the invitation.”

On that Friday, she rode in a Rolls-Royce with Sennett, an actress Alice day, and her co-star Maxwell, the thin guy from the recent short. Sterling and Sally accompanied them because Sennett invited them since Sterling had associated with Chaplin. Another factor was that Harry Langdon had already had his own reservation. Gail wasn't happy that Sterling was included but was glad her best friend came along. Gail rented a beaded dress with a chiffon wrap around her shoulders. Her accessories were a gold-colored headband, a black velvet clutch bag, a white boa fan in place of a parasol to ease distraction, and her grandmother's necklace for Gail to feel her spirit during the gay night.

The chauffeur of their ride drove closer to the moving spotlights on Hollywood boulevard and lined up behind several cars. Gail kept checking the mirror above the driver to ensure the makeup wasn’t smudged.

Although she accepted the invitation, Gail had been feeling the butterflies in her stomach for days at the thought of being surrounded by the stars she usually sees on the silver screen and worrying about what they would think of her. She could have changed her mind and made an excuse if it wasn't for her learning from the paper that Buster would be attending. She didn't know that he had come back from Arizona. She didn't get a visit from him nor had any time to visit his studio. Gail didn’t get to let him know that she would be showing up and hoped they’ll meet by chance.

Gail whispered to Sally, who sat behind her, “Please, I cannot be embarrassed. Not tonight. Be remain civil and control him,” she was referring to Sterling.

“No problem I’ll have him on a leash when things get loose,” the blonde joked. 

“You promise?” Gail asked with a slight grimace.

“We’ll be good even if it’s the last act of our lives. Don't worry.”

The assurance did help ease her nervousness for a bit. 

Names of the guests were heard and grew louder as the vehicle went closer to Grauman’s Egyptian Theater. When they reached the theater, Mack Sennett's name was called upon entry as his attendees stepped out. Despite being nearly blinded by the sudden flashes of the cameras, Gail gathered her courage to smile and wave at the crowd of locals held back by the police.

When the group entered inside, the lobby was full of attendees. Some of them had come up to say hello to Mack. Gail spotted Harold Lloyd, Elinor Glyn, Gloria Swanson, Rudolph Valentino, John Gilbert, and Lew Cody in the crowd. Skimming in the crowds was to no avail when she couldn’t locate Buster.

Her glum turned to astonishment when she saw Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford greeting Mack. Gail wasn't used to seeing them in real life but was also surprised that America's sweetheart would be out and about after learning about a plot to kidnap the starlet nearly a month prior. Alice shook their hands and then Mack turned to Gail to summon her. She obeyed despite her nerves.

 Sennett presented her to the couple, “This is another of my actresses, Gail Anders.” The most famous Hollywood couple was dressed to the nines. Pickford wore a sheer pink dress and Fairbank’s white shirt contrasts his tanned face.

“It's been an honor meeting you,” Gail curtsied to them. “And Mary, your hair looks lovely in real life.” Gail remained composed while feeling embarrassed about how she blurted out the part about the hair.

To her relief, Mary gladly appreciated the compliment and responded in a silvery voice, “Why thank you miss.”

Mack added, “She also played in the background of Charlie’s new picture.”

“Do tell,” Douglas said. “Where’s your scene? We like to look out for you.”

“Only the ballroom scenes. Just hoping Mr. Chaplin doesn't edit me out.”

“How long have you worked in movies?” Mary asked.

“A year and a half. I also worked in other films and used to be a bathing beauty. I’m now playing as a love interest in Mr. Sennett’s new short.”

"Your career seems to be progressing well. Keep up the good work.”

Gail widens her grin with joy. “Oh, thank you.” Gail felt better since she hadn’t messed things up for herself. If she didn’t find Buster that wouldn’t matter as the primary purpose was to see herself in Gold Rush and mingle with some stars. Fairbanks and Pickford went straight to the auditorium after ending their conversation.

Then Mack handed the tickets to the usher and the group moved on to the auditorium where they were given an exquisite program. It was like holding a flat storybook. The usher led them to their seats in one of the back rows before the overture played. Gail was in awe looking above the stage. She forgot how wonderful were those authentic decors around it.

“Bloody hell!” The brit cussed upon reading the program, “Ten acts before the flickers!? Is that Grauman bloke trapping us here?”

“Shut it,” Sally clenched her teeth at him. Some of the guests looked behind for a bit.

Mack said, "Now, Sid is well known for staging prologues. You'll enjoy it. They're always magnificent.”

After the overture concluded, a man with short wavy hair, Sid Grauman, stepped on stage. In their view, he was small though they weren't in the far back. Grauman presented a speech about the hard work his friend Charlie endured making the feature and then introduced the prologue.

The curtain opened after he left the stage and music played again to set the mood for the beautiful scenery in the klondikes. The dancers were dressed as Eskimos and the performers were dressed as seals. While her friend and paramour got bored and almost fell asleep as the show went on, Gail didn’t mind the stage performance. Her enjoyment wasn't just because a famous showman staged it, but because it reminded her of the time when she became interested in performing arts as a child. It wasn't Pirates of Penzance however, she was much obliged to be in the audience.

Almost two hours later, there was a short intermission. The audience stood up to stretch their arms. The group disassembled after returning to the lobby. Gail and Maxwell both ordered Coco-Colas to help rejuvenate for a late night. Then He paid for both of their drinks, “Maxwell, this is very kind of you, but we're not dating, just pals,” Gail said to him gently as she could.

He replied, “I know. I wouldn't let a lady buy her drink.” 

She had seen Maxwell at work for a while and didn't know him until they were cast opposite each other. He showed chivalry to the opposite sex but it was a wonder he was single. The man had claimed he was married but separated due to irreconcilable differences and going on dates although no one had seen him with a woman.

Gail was sipping the soft drink that just came up when she heard a woman’s voice next to her, “Gail, is that you?”

She turned to see Eliza.

The woman grinned ear to ear, “Hey I’ll be damned, I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?”

“I was healing from an injury,” Gail answered, “I was in a car crash but, now I got better. It was in the local paper.”

Eliza felt confounded due to her being unaware of her past condition, “Oh, that explains it. What a goof, I seldom read the news.”

“No matter, what are you doing here?”

“Charlie,” Eliza replied. “I have connections, remember? Who brought you here?”

“Mr. Senett,” Gail explained. “He invited me along.”

Gail sensed Sally rejoined them before saying, “Bae, is there someone you'd like to introduce to me?”

Gail turned to the blonde, “Sally, this is Eliza, a background actress I told you about. She turned to Eliza again, “This is Sally, a good friend of mine.”

Eliza shook her hand, “Nice to meet you. I had been acquainted with Mr. Chaplin for some time. Lita Grey was going to play his love interest. But then after he knocked her up, she became Mrs. Chaplin.”

“Yeah, womanizing really caught up to him,” Sally chuckled.

“So Gail, do you still have that sweetheart in New York?”

She responded with a down expression, “Not anymore, I don't want to see him again.”

“And he better not show his face here, or I’ll kick his ass,” Sally said after ordering her drink.

“Look on a bright side, you're free to flirt with your crush,” Eliza winked.

“She found a new guy soon enough.”

Eliza saw Maxwell talking to other guys. “Oh is that him?”

Sally replied, “No, he’s not here. Also, I haven't seen him yet.”

“That’s so mysterious, how else could he be?”

“I’ll explain later,” Gail told Eliza. Then she whispered, “When we're alone.”

The women talked a bit more until it was time for them to return to the auditorium to catch the feature. The group was back in their seats when The Gold Rush finally played. The new film received laughs. Gail enjoyed the part when the Tramp was imagined as a human-sized chicken. 

When the dance hall scene came on, Gail whispered to everyone that’s where she was on. She couldn't be worried about being edited out since it was where he met the love interest. It took a bit long for anyone in their group to find her until she pointed at herself with a dance partner. They weren’t vocal about it to avoid disturbing the audience.

Sally, whispered to Gail, “Bae if this flick becomes a big hit, you’ll be the luckiest former bathing beauty I've ever known.”

Gail replied softly, “Thanks, Sal. His films are always successful. This won’t be any different.”

“I didn't know you favored Chaplin.” Alice quietly chirped in.

“He’s alright but he’s not top of my list.” Gail skimmed for every back of the head but Buster was hard to find despite having seen him in person multiple times.

After the film ended, Chaplin came out onto the stage to thank everyone who came by and received a standing ovation. 

Soon after, Gail departed from the group to go straight to the women’s room, having held on since the last part of the film. They were staying for a bit while to mingle. She used her time in the stall to think of conversation pieces and then checked the mirror for makeup as she washed her hands. It didn't need touching up. Gail came out of the women’s room to find the crowd more extensive than before due to them waiting for Charlie. She felt ignored aside from glances, and a grin but then she felt a couple of taps on her shoulder.

“Excuse me,” the voice came from a woman. Gail’s face nearly turned pale upon turning her back to see Mabel Normand, “You look familiar. Are you Theda Bara?” She wore a white dress and held onto a train lest someone would trip over it or leave footprints.

Gail replied nervously, “No, don’t you remember me?”

She shook her head, “Have we met before?”

“Yes, we met at a party over a month ago,  It’s Gail Anders.”

Mabel was a different person than the last time they had spoken, “I think I was quite intoxicated. Give me a minute,” the has-been was searching for her thoughts. “Was I unpleasant to you?”

Gail explained, “At first yes, then you warmed up to me when I said you're my inspiration.”

“Oh yes, I remembered that. I hope you can forgive me. I was off.”

“There are hard times, I understand.”

“Can you hand me your notebook and a pencil?” When Gail asked why, she replied, “I’d like for us to exchange numbers so we could get together and makeup.”

Gail was speechless. She did take out those items and handed them to Mabel. She scribbled a bit before her expression went disgruntled “God, I can’t remember my fucking number.”

“Don’t worry, I remembered mine,” Gail got them back to her to write down her name and the numbers and tore off the page.

Mabel folded the piece and shoved it under her dress, “Thanks, I hope we run into each other again.”

Gail went across the hall, hoping that Ms. Normand wouldn’t lose her number. Before admitting defeat she finally found Buster talking to the group sans Alice, but Keaton wasn’t alone, he was with Natalie. They both were dressed to the nines. Nervous, She knew it was likely that his wife would accompany him though she wasn't prepared to interact with her.

Sally noticed Gail and pointed to her, “Speak of the devil there she is now!”

With all eyes on her, she forced a smile and greeted with a, “How do you do?” Buster didn't act ecstatic seeing her with a now recovered arm. She also noticed the spouses had their arms linked, like any couple. Thoughts of their possible reconciliation made her stomach uneasy. Gail drove them out with a deduction that it was only for show. Sally and Sterling left the group to mingle with more stars.

“We were just talking about you,” Maxwell said, ushering her next to him and Alice.

She replied confidently, “How nice, what did you mention about me?”

To her dismay, it was Natalie who responded, “Well for starters, your current project for Mr. Sennett. It’s going well, yes?” Gail nodded. "Oh, and I'm sorry to hear about that crash," she added. “There's not a sign of damage on you."

“Well, I healed up quite efficiently,” Gail couldn’t address her as Mrs. Keaton, but rather a simple “Ma'am.” to everyone, she was content, but she was actually petrified to be in front of the woman whose husband she had kissed a few times. Natalie didn't seem to suspect at first but when something slipped out, she would see right through her and Buster.

Only Buster’s words got her out of this state, “Is this your first premiere?”

“Why yes, it was fantastic and I’m lucky to be here.”

“Mr. Fairbanks told us that you were the background actress on Gold Rush.”

“I had been in background roles in other films, I also happened to be in Buster’s feature recently.”

Mack pitched in, “Buster here had requested me to borrow Gail for his upcoming feature before Miss Myers took over. Poor girl.”

It wasn't long before Buster convinced his wife should rejoin her sisters while he had to go out for some air. After Natalie left and Mack went to look for Alice, Keaton asked Maxwell, “How about that autograph for the nice fellow?” while he obliged, Buster stood next to Gail and then discreetly whispered to her to meet him outside. Soon she excused herself from Maxwell to follow Buster. She found him on top of the exterior steps leading to the smoking area near the roof. It was so discreet that not a passerby would even find him and Gail

Buster put out a cigarette before he looked at her. Without any passion, he said, “You look great.”

She appreciated the comment, she asked him, “What happened with Go West? Is the production finished?”

He began puffing the cigarette he had just lit, “It’s still ongoing but we had to pause because the cow, Brown Eyes, wasn’t feeling herself. She’ll recover, but there’s something important I had to ask you; Who’s Michael?”

“Huh”

“Your lady friend mentioned that you’re seeing a guy named Michael Willams when Nate was asking about you. Who’s he?”

“You,” Buster widened his eyes at her response. “Sally suspected I have a sweetheart and I came up with a name to hide our secret.” a contrite expression landed on the stone face. “You don’t think I found another man soon after you left town and while rehabilitating my arm?”

His tone became apologetic, “Christ, I’m sorry. I might be a bit jealous or afraid of being replaced.”

“I felt the same when I saw you with your wife.” the couple went silent for a bit. “You should've called when you got back.”

“I know, I’m planning on coming over tomorrow. I didn't expect to see you tonight until Mary Pickford told me you’re here.”

Gail didn't forget that Buster once mentioned in New York that he loved Natalie. She wondered if it was true or not. She didn't have the heart to bring up that subject.

“I reckon you were thrilled meeting the king of Hollywood and his queen?” Buster asked.

“I was nervous, but I was able to impress them, and Mabel Normand got my number.”

Buster gave a slight grin, “You are quite lucky”

“I think I had been despite the setbacks.” There were hardly any visible stars in the sky due to the spotlights. But it didn't matter because the only star Gail would stare at was Buster.

Having puffed a few times, Buster decided to put out his cigarette to run his arms around her. Gail hugged him back for the first time without any plaster to get in the way. Gail missed the scent of his cologne and wished she could embrace him forever. “If you're still concerned about Nate and me, nothing has changed. We're still at arm’s length. Also, I missed you at the set. If it wasn't for the accident, I'd convince everyone you make a better leading lady.”

Gail exited the huddle but her hand held his, “Buster, I told you I didn't care if I was your leading lady. I only want you.” then the words of Eliza Smith echoed in her head, True, but then where is the fun? She asked him, “How long until you return?”

“For the weekend, I had to take a train. It’s quicker to get here and back than by vehicle.”

“You can still come over if you want and take me to bed.” Her eyes grew sultry, “Should I say more?”

Buster was surprised, “Are you serious?”

“I have never been so sure in my life.”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Gail kissed him, not caring about the scent of the tobacco. She led herself inside and started to look for her comrades while taking in the joy of recent events.

Yep the next chapter will be spicy!!! hope you enjoyed reading this as much you enjoyed the holidays! also have a happy new year!

[anarchomuffin]

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@pussypopstiel

I tagged 1,072 of my posts in 2022

Only 42% of my posts had no tags

#spn - 240 posts

#reblog - 234 posts

#supernatural - 193 posts

#owl with a shotgun - 125 posts

#dean winchester - 89 posts

#sam winchester - 39 posts

#castiel - 22 posts

#asks!! - 22 posts

#hbo spn - 16 posts

#sam winchester speech bubble - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#beyond that its your rich friends dad who you meet twice but gives you turkish delights and tells you your hair looks nice

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

what about trans Steve?

hi so i already talked about why i think steve is trans but here's how i think he would come out to everyone (yes ik its "unrealistic" but all his friends are queer too it's fine)

robin: i think robin just kind of realized on her own. either that or she realized right after she came out to steve (i think that he would've had some kind of fear she would be attracted to him if she knew, that she would see him as a girl. he would've either told her or she would've had a sort of 'oh.' moment.)

dustin: dustin DEFINITELY hung out at steve's house idc about canon, he probably heard steve's parents talking about him using she/her pronouns and asked steve about it. steve would be scared but since thats his k i d he'd tell dustin.

el: ok hear me out. mind reading. el doesn't really understand transphobia since she grew up in a science cult so she just asks him, completely innocently, when he realized he was a boy. steve would absolutely bluescreen and it would be so funny

max: she was there when el asked

nancy: she and steve canonically had sex i think she'd notice

will: steve hasnt really interacted with will but he probably found out through dustin

i don't think that he would be okay telling anyone else (nancy wouldn't tell mike, eleven might but if she knew how important it was to steve she wouldn't.)

119 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#4

PLEASE talk about trans steve <3 if you'd like to

i would LOVE to talk about trans steve harrington.

ok so like his canon implied neglectful/absent parents is SO interesting viewing him as a trans man. bc like they were probably the same way before he would've come out, but once he realized he was trans he totally wouldve told himself they were absent because he did something wrong by being trans! it's so important to his character that hes insecure abt his masculinity!! (this is another thing that makes more sense with him as a trans man, similarly to dean winchester. a character that he's really similar to.)

i can totally see him being born in another town, coming out at a pretty young age, and finding ways to pass until bullying got so bad that his parents moved to hawkins. and his parents would still tell people he was a girl, until he looked so much like a cis man and would get so upset about being called female that his parents finally relented. and like?? imagining him changing in locker rooms apart from the other guys (he would've convinced the school that he was a cis man so he could) not just because he's King Steve but also because if any of the other guys found out he'd be dead.

his relationship with nancy is even more important with this lens, because no matter her reputation as a "pretty" girl, she was still mike wheeler's older sister. she was still enough of an outsider that if she knew, no one would believe her.

tldr; steve 'the hair' harrington is transmasc and it's pretty much canon.

142 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#3

the reason im so attached to the first few seasons of supernatural is because there's something so inherently american gothic about them. like, yes, thats present later on but something about seasons one through five just satisfies this love for american folklore i have

like, especially episodes like 1x11 and 2x08 are just so beautifully, hauntingly American that you can't look away. it's the acknowledgement that there's something there in back roads and old abandoned orchards, it's the collective idea that if you start looking behind you, you'll never stop. and the cinematography only adds to it, the grainy found-footage-esque aesthetic thats especially present in season one. it's in the way that the hotels sam and dean frequent are all the same but with slightly different details, the way all the people interviewed can only come up with halfway-there explainations of what happened.

216 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#2

will byers went missing four days after mary winchesters death

574 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

literally all ash did was be gay, do internet crimes, have a sick ass mullet and get kicked out of mit for fighting. and they fucking killed him.

1,051 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lubdubsworld]

GIFT .

Genre : Brother-in-law Jungkook x OC!

Warnings : Yandere Jungkook! Non Consent. Manipulative behaviour. Explicit Sexual Content, Violence, Murder

Author's Note : I love reading Yandere fics so I just wanted to write one!! Its very different from what I usually write... So proceed with caution.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time I met Jungkook , it was five years into my relationship with Namjoon.

Namjoon had told me all about his baby brother, a final year student in SNU. Jungkook majored in Business , training to take over the company business . Namjoon often mentioned that it was Jungkook's offer to switch majors that had helped him pursue his own dream of being a music producer.

So when he told me that Jungkook was on a break from university and his parents were looking forward to having a proper family dinner with all of us, I was excited to meet the boy , I'd heard so much about. Namjoon was endlessly fond of his little brother and I wanted him to like me just as much.

Namjoon and I had met seven years earlier in the University Library and had become fast friends. We were both quiet, intellectually driven individuals, preferring to spend our time in the library as opposed to partying with our friends. And yet, in a twist , against our family’s wishes, we had chosen not to pursue an academically driven career either. I’d always felt out of place in my own friend group, most of my friend from Journalism being extroverted and fun loving. Namjoon for his part had only two very close friends, Yoongi and Hoseok and preferred spending time by himself as well.

So it was only natural that we fell in with each other with ease. His beautiful dimpled smile tugged on my gut, even as his gentle nature and gorgeous mind made my heart pound. I fell in love with him, between the late night laughter in the library and the soft secrets whispered against my skin, in the privacy of his bed.

“Nervous?” His voice drew me to the present, fingers inking with mine as he lightly knocked his shoulders against mine, staring down at me with a dimpled smile. I shook my head quickly, squeezing his hand gently.

“Of course not. I just want him to like me.” I whispered and Namjoon chuckled.

“Jungkookie isn’t very expressive so don’t worry if he isn’t very vocal in his affections. He’s very shy with new people but I’m sure, he’ll love you.” Namjoon reached out and lightly, brushed the hair off my face before leaning down and giving me a quick kiss.

I gripped his waist, pressing in closer, lips parting instinctively  , eager to chase the taste of him. He groaned and gripped my elbow, pulling me around to press up against the tall , lean strength of his body and this was it, this endless need to touch him even after seven whole years of being together. I moaned when he bit down on my lips, my back arching a bit to press into him.

“Hyung?”

We parted, surprised and I felt my face flame, lips slicked wet and no doubt red from where Joon’s teeth had sunk in.

What a first impression.

“Ahh… Jungkook-ah… You came out?” Namjoon looked a little flustered, dimples peeking out in an abashed smile as he laughed embarrassedly I found myself smiling at Jungkook, who looked nothing like I’d imagined.

I’d been expecting someone cute and friendly.

Jungkook was dressed in all black, tall and intimidating. He was also almost surreally beautiful, gaze piercing and steady as he stared at me. I felt an instinctive urge to hide, not missing the way his gaze trailed up and down my body, lips parting gently to reveal a pair of bunny teeth that looked jarringly adorable on a face that was , quite simply put, arrestingly gorgeous.  

He hummed, still standing in the doorway, eyes trained on me and I swallowed when he smiled , wide and open. His tongue darted out, lightly licking his lower lip .

“Hi, Hana.” He said softly and I startled.

“Hana? I’m sure you mean noona…..” I laughed nervously and even Namjoon looked surprised and Jungkook merely smiled, shrugging.

“You don’t feel like a noona.” He said casually.

I merely stared at him, not sure what he meant. Namjoon laughed a little as well, moving over to lightly hug his brother.

“Yah! You’ve just met her. Isn’t it too soon to start being a brat?” He ruffled his hair playfully before turning to me.

“Come on, Hana. Come say hi to my parents.” Namjoon walked in and I rushed to follow him, pausing when I reached the doorway. I smiled at Jungkook, holding a hand out slowly.

“I’ve heard so much about you Jungkook, I hope we can be friends…” I said sincerely and he stared at my hand, not taking it. Instead he gave me another soft smile. Before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the back of my hand, making me jump .

“You don’t feel like a friend either.” He said with a shrug , before moving away, leaving me stunned on the doorway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years later :

“Seven months? Namjoon we’re getting married in seven months! How am I supposed to plan a whole wedding , with you away from the country?” I asked desperately, watching as Namjoon sat with his head in his hands. He looked stricken, regretful and pained and I felt terrible for being unreasonable but it was impossible not to feel hurt.

“I know..  I know hana, I’m so fucking sorry. But this is such a huge opportunity and its not just me : Hoseok and Yoongi depend on me. I can’t screw things up for them too.” He whispered and I exhaled.

Namjoon had been offered a chance to produce for a very high end recording label based out of the US and they wanted him to stay there for a minimum of seven months. The offer had been a complete surprise, out of the blue and the timing couldn’t have been worse. I’d been accepted into an internship at a popular magazine and it would be impossible for me to go with him. And I was so desperate to go.

We’d never been apart for more than a few days, in the entirety of our relationship and the thought of not seeing him for months made me want to throw up.

“I’ve spoken to Jungkook. He’ll help you with all the things that have to be done. And I swear that I’ll be back at least a month before the date, alright? No matter what happens.” Namjoon said firmly. I swallowed, nodding nervously.

It was true that I didn’t like the idea of being away from Namjoon. But the thought of keeping him away from a dream that he had worked so hard for, was almost unfathomable.

Besides, Jungkook was reliable and sweet. The perfect gentleman. Especially now that he’d taken over as his father’s Executive Assistant, Jungkook was incredibly good at organizing and planning things out.

With his help, I could plan out our wedding to perfection.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next five months were spent in a haze of appointments and fittings and bookings. Jungkook had arranged for a shift in my internship hours, so he and I could spend a solid four hours every day, visiting different vendors, picking out the perfect floral arrangements, napkins, brocade and what not. And for once, I found myself completely enthralled by the idea of spending money of frivolously pretty things. Whether it was the florists or the patisserie, the dress fitting or the invitations, I felt my excitement bubbling over , amazed because marrying into Namjoon’s family meant an unlimited budget and for once, I didn’t mind being extravagant.

What was more, I didn’t miss Namjoon nearly as much as I thought I would. Because deep down , I knew that he wouldn’t have enjoyed this all that much. And I would have felt guilty , dragging him everywhere.

And Jungkook was the one to thank for all of it. He picked me up everyday for an early breakfast , followed by hours of combing the streets for ideas and appointments. He was funny and enthusiastic, eager to help me in every way and I was so grateful that I couldn’t thank him enough.

“I owe you so much, Kookie. You’ve been a life saver.” I groaned, collapsing on the couch and dropping my head back against the backrest. Jungkook chuckled, sitting down on one of the Turkish ottomans and lightly grabbing my ankle, pulling my foot onto his lap. I flushed a little, still not used to how touchy he was.

Jungkook liked wrapping his arms around my waist when we were out and about, fingers fluttering up my sides or brushing hair off my face with easy familiarity. I didn’t mind. He reminded me of my little brother back in Ilsan.

Most of the people we met assumed he was the groom and Jungkook told me it would be better to keep up the ruse because wedding planners were more comfortable when couples came together and I’d agreed, albeit a little reluctantly. I missed Namjoon and I wondered if he would mind. But when I mentioned it in passing to him during one of our daily video calls, he’d merely laughed it off.

“You’re so tense, Hana. You should relax. Everything is going to be okay.” Jungkook said softly, soft fingers digging into the curve of heel before brushing the arch of my foot. I smiled when he tugged my foot close, placing it down on the firmness of his thigh.

I gazed down at him, feeling uncomfortably nervous. This whole thing seemed oddly intimate somehow and I felt the first tendrils of guilt begin to curl around my gut. I swallowed, hating myself for tainting something that was no doubt innocent. I ought to be grateful that my future brother in law was this kind to me.

“I know. Thank you. I just miss him sometimes.” I said softly. The fingers stilled on my foot.

“Only sometimes?” He teased, eyes narrowed and tone just a little colder and I hesitated.

“I don’t miss him when you keep me company. You help me forget that I’m doing all of this by myself.” I said honestly. Jungkook inhaled sharply, his gaze flicking to mine, holding mine with an intensity that made me balk a little.

“You mean, that?” He asked quietly and I laughed at how serious he looked.

“Of course I do.  I was so sure this whole thing would be me being miserably lonely but you’ve kept me laughing and happy. I’m going to ask Namjoon to buy you something expensive and amazing when he comes back.”

“He already has something amazing. It’s the only thing I really want.” Jungkook said quietly, fingers stroking up, gently massaging my foot all the way up my calf. I groaned at how good it felt.

“Really what is it?” I asked curious.

Jungkook squeezed my knee before carefully placing my foot down , reaching for the other one.

“You’ll know soon, Hana.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True to his word, Namjoon called me exactly a month before our wedding date.

“Guess who’s leaving the God forsaken place this weekend?”

I felt warmth flood my insides, heart racing with pure joy, tears brimming over because I’d honestly resigned myself to the fact that he wouldn’t be able to make it back on time.

“Monday i, I’ll be there. Can’t wait to kiss you, my love.” He whispered and I nodded, laughing.

Finally, Everything would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon’s flight was due to arrive late night ,somewhere between twelve and one in the morning. I’d taken a nap in the afternoon, so I could be up to welcome him back. Jungkook arrived at around seven with Takeout and flowers.

He didn’t ring the doorbell, letting himself in with the spare key I’d given him for emergencies. I found myself scrambling for my robe because I’d taken a nice long shower and slipped on a silk negligee, short and ending just over my knees . I could feel his eyes on me as I hastily tied the sash together, flustered. The robe wasn’t long either and I felt absolutely exposed, even worse than when he’d stepped into the dressing room during my fitting, offering to help me with the zipper.

“ Jungkook, what are you doing here?” I asked nervously and he shrugged, eyes still trailing over my legs, the skin bare. I felt his gaze like a caress and some instinct told me I was in danger. I shook my head to clear it. How ridiculous.

This was Jungkook. Sweet, wonderful Jungkookie. My best friend these past few months. There was no one else I could be safer with.

“I knew you’d be excited, what with hyung coming back and all. So, I thought I’d drop by and at least make sure you’re well fed.” He grinned, holding the tae out up. I smiled and nodded, moving to get plates and glasses from the kitchen.

I heard Jungkook moving around in the living room and when I went back in , I found that he had two glasses of wine ready on the table, an expensive bottle of merlot opened nearby. I smiled a bit, shaking my head.

“What are we celebrating?” I asked curiously and he shrugged.

“Namjoon hyung is coming back right? It means I’ll be getting my amazing gift tonight.” He said softly, picking his glass up and taking a sip and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re such a child. You can’t wait for a day to get your gift?”

Jungkook hummed. He looked ethereal in the dim golden light of the apartment. Like something out of a fairytale. All dark ebony hair and porcelain skin. I wondered, again….why he never dated. He was easily one of the most beautiful humans I’d ever seen in my life. And that voice.

The voice of an angel.

“I’ve been waiting for years, Hana. I’m sick and tired of waiting.” He said softly, voice low and eyes somehow dark and I tried to hold my smile.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it.” I grinned and he smiled, all teeth.

“Oh, I intend to. Thoroughly.”

I took my own glass and took a deep sip , before holding it against his.

“To no longer waiting and finally getting what we want.” I said cheerfully, thinking of the long months without Namjoon and the few hours till he would be back in my arms. Jungkook chuckled and clinked his glass against mine.

“To you, Hana.” He said simply and I blushed, surprised and flattered.

We ate the take out but just a few bites in, I felt my eyes getting heavy which was so unfair. It was barely eight. And I’d slept in the afternoon. What was wrong with me? I was supposed to be up till Namjoon came home.

“You alright, love?” Jungkook asked sweetly , getting out of his chair and making his way over when I almost knocked the glass of water over, fingers trembling. I pouted, even as his fingers curled over my shoulders, gripping lightly.

“Why am I so drowsy?” I whined in desperation and he leaned down, lightly resting his chin on my shoulder.

“You need to rest, hana. Come on, let’s get you to bed…. “

Eyes heavy and limbs turning to jelly, I could barely blink as he reached down and scooped me into his arms , carrying me into the bedroom. I felt his fingers tug on the sash of my robe, a protest building up at the action but he shushed me gently.

“I’m just helping you out of this, Hana. Rest now… Namjoon hyung will be here soon and we have a long night ahead of us, you and I.”

I could feel my mind churn at that, confusion warring with apprehension because why was Jungkook inserting himself in tonight? What did he have to do with Namjoon and I ?

Sleep beckoned and I found myself slipping into the darkness before I could fully ponder on his words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up sweaty and damp , body overheated and my head foggy. I made to move and felt my heart pound when I realized my hands were tied up to the headboard. I blinked, only to be met with darkness because there was something tied around my eye as well.

“Jungkook?!” I called out panicking and there was a low chuckle.

And then a very familiar scent.

Namjoon.

I sagged in relief.

“Joon…it’s you….” I breathed out . “ Come on, do we really have to do this right away? I wanna see you…” I whispered desperately.

Fingers brushed over my ankle and I jumped.

“Namjoon?” I whispered . The bed dipped next to me, and I felt the brush of his shirt against my bare arm. It was soft and silky , familiar because I’d bought it for him for his birthday and he’d sent me a pic of him wearing it, from the airport today.

“Okay… I’ll play.” I laughed softly. “ Just untie me… I wanna touch you..”

“Sshhh…..” A finger pressed against my lip and I startled. Throat dry, I gulped.

But I didn’t say anything, biting my lips nervously as I felt him climb over me, one knee on either side of mine, fingers curling on my thighs, lips pressing against my cheek. I sighed, relishing the soft press of his lips, up and down my neck, the damp wetness of his tongue as he licked the skin right after, teeth nipping gently and then with more force.

I trembled as soft fingers tugged on my negligee tugging the fabric up and away from my body, raising it up till it pooled near my chest. I felt the tug on my panties, yanking the fabric off and then the weight of him went away, a breathy exhale that sounded both calm and somehow desperate, his body moving down to lightly hold my knees, parting my legs.

I bent my knees, spreading my thighs the way he clearly wanted me to, hearing him groan in return. He used his thumbs to gently part the damp folds of my centre and I felt my entire body shudder at the press of his tongues against the most intimate parts of me.

Choking, I could only lay there and take it, his tongue licking the slick folds, over and over again with an almost curious insistence, like he was tasting me for the first time and I could feel his body trembling on the bed as he did. I felt his teeth tug on the hardened nub, bruising hard and yet somehow almost playful and cheeky and I found myself squirming in pleasure, wetness seeping out of me .

The tip of his finger found my slit, running up and done the length of it in a slow, gentle caress, gathering the moisture there and I trembled when he reached my clit, gently rubbing circles on the little bundle before moving back down to trace my entrance. I was so wet, getting wetter by the second and I’d never wanted to be fucked so bad.

“Please…..baby… I want you ….in me…” I choked out and he chuckled, a little mischievous and unlike him.

The finger dipped in, shallow and barely in and I whimpered in desperation.

“More.. Please…. I want more.. Want you… Its been so long…”

I felt him move back at that and then he was there, right between my legs. I felt the clink of metal as he unbuckled himself, the sound of his zipper and the rustle of fabric as he pushed his trousers off. I could feel the hard muscles of his thigh against the back of mine as he scooted closer, felt the brush of his hard length against my center, the head dipping in just lightly.

He pushed forward, driving in with so much force that my entire body shuddered in shock. And in just that second, I knew, with dawning horror…….

This was not Namjoon.

I screamed, so loud my own ears rang and  a palm pressed down into my mouth, forceful and unrelenting. And terrifyingly unfamiliar.

“Hana…” Jungkook’s voice near my ear made me choke on my tears, my mind splintering in shock and betrayal, body going rigid in terror as he pulled out , only to slide back in.

“Knew it would be worth it, keeping myself pure for you….” He crooned against my skin and I whimpered, wetness spilling over my eyelashes as I tried to squirm away, my mind body and soul only screaming for the man I loved.

“Don’t worry about anything ….Hyung’s in a better place now. “ Jungkook chuckled deeply and I felt my skin go ice cold at the implication. He moved his hand away and I coughed, choking.

“Jungkook….”

The blind fold came off and he kept pumping into me, hips moving erratically, no rhythm or grace and it was obvious he’d never done this before, obvious in the way he looked : blissed out and feral, eyes unfocused as he stared down at me. I felt him tremble and shake, before going still . I felt warm wetness flood my insides and bile rose, nausea making breathing difficult. He stayed on me and inside me, his body so large and immovable, heavy and suffocating over my own.

“what are you doing Jungkookie?” I sobbed out in disbelief and he glared at me.

“What does it fucking look like I’m doing? I’m taking what I fucking deserve….” He snarled. “ Two fucking years…. He doesn’t deserve you. Spends all his days and nights holed up in that studio of his with his friends….leaves you to fend for yourself. You deserve to be waited on, hand and foot… you deserve the world, hana…and he wouldn’t let you experience any of it. Fucking bastard….

“No… No.. God …no..” I choked out. It was the shirt.

He was wearing Namjoon’s shirt. And his cologne. The shirt I knew my boyfriend had been wearing today. How did he get it??

Jungkook brushed his fingers on my cheeks .

“What’s wrong baby? Are you worried about him? Wondering where he is…” He chuckled. “ I told you..he’s in a better place right now..”

“No… you’re lying..you wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t I? You know me that well , hana?” He teased.

No. No I didn’t I didn’t know him at all.

“How about this? If you marry me…. If you let me have this dream wedding with my dream girl…. “ He smirked,” If you let me love you the way you deserve , maybe I’ll take you to visit him…someday. ”

I closed my eyes.

I couldn’t process what I’d just heard… I didn’t know… if he was bluffing. What if he had actually killed-

I couldn’t believe that. I couldn’t. It would break me.

“Okay… Just…please don’t hurt him…” I whispered.

Jungkook smiled.

“Just relax Hana. Everything’s going to be okay.”

AUTHORS NOTE : THIS IS LITERALLY MY FIRST TIME WRITING SOMETHING LIKE THIS PURELY OUT OF IDLE CURIOSITY

~~~~~~~~~~~

[miekasa]

hunter x hunter (eren jaeger)

↯ pairing:  eren jaeger x reader

↯ genre and warnings: modern au, established relationship/boyfriend au, gamer/streamer eren for the win, he’s a little bit of a himbo but he’s cute and he’s trying his best okay

↯ summary: you’ve been stuck on finding a name for your new rescue puppy for a few days now, when you decide to name him after your lovely boyfriend. it’s too bad he doesn’t get your reference. (yes, i know i called it hunter x hunter which is a completely different anime but that’s the joke, you’ll get it as you read, hopefully).

↯ notes: i know technically eren isn’t (confirmed? officially?) german, but just roll with it for me hehe; also, welcome to the first part of my living with pets series, featuring eren and his and your new favorite german shepherd husky mix. 

When you walk into Eren and Armin’s shared apartment, you can hear the former in his room, talking loudly to who you presume to be his current virtual audience.

You don’t see any signs of Armin’s shoes at the door, indicating that he’s likely not home at the moment, which you’re silently thankful for. Not because you don’t like the blonde, but because your new, tiny, puppy seems to like him, and his favorite trainers a little too much—poor Armin now only had the left foot of his Adidas Superstars to his name.

Carefully, and away from the other shoes near the entrance, you let the pup down onto the floor, his small feet padding in place on the hardwood, before going to snuff out Eren. You chuckle to yourself; you’ve only had the puppy for a little over two weeks, but both he and Eren have formed a mutual attachment towards each other. Well, you suppose you can’t blame the dog, he was technically in Eren’s care first, seeing as Eren gifted him to you for your birthday.

Eren had told you the dog was a rescue, born prematurely on a farm a few hours away, and had had his left back leg fractured when one of the walls of a pig pen had unfortunately collapsed on him. He’s has surgery since, and is in the final stages of his recovery, injury almost undetectable now; but when Eren saw the poor pup at a shelter a few weeks ago, he claimed he knew it would be love at first sight for you.  

“Ah, there’s my best boy!” you hear Eren’s elated voice from the room over.

Sometimes, you wonder if the dog really was a present for you, or secretly for him, too. Eren makes his appearance after, trekking out of his room clad in sweatpants and long sleeve tee with your puppy in his arms.

“Hey, sorry, did he interrupt your stream?” you question, meeting his strides halfway to press a kiss to his cheek, “I heard you talking when we came in.”

“Nah, I was recording a video, it’s nothing I can’t edit later,” Eren assures you, turning his head again to sneak a proper kiss on your lips, “Besides this little guy could never interrupt me. Did you need me to watch him?—Because, I can totally take him for the weekend.”

Seriously, you’re almost eighty percent certain the only reason he’s not Eren’s dog is because of the pet-technicalities of his lease. And, well, the pup’s clear fetish for Armin’s sneakers.

“No, I thought maybe you’d like to see your human girlfriend.”

“Aw, baby, it’s not like that,” Eren chuckles at your sarcasm as you roll your eyes, “You know I love you.”

“Clearly,” you drawl, watching as the puppy all but attempts to climb Eren’s shoulders, his front paws resting against his collar as Eren holds him like you would a newborn baby.

But your boyfriend pays you no mind, simply cooing and bouncing away. You’ll admit it’s kind of cute, the way Eren dotes on the dog—or any animal he comes across, really. Still, it was your puppy, now and you’ll be damned if you lose out on puppy cuddles to him.

“Actually, I came here to tell you I finally named him,” you say, reaching out to scratch against his soft fur.

You were at excited when Eren told that since he was so young, neither the farmers, nor the rescue vets had decided on a name, so you had full control; but you had to admit, there was a bit of pressure to find the perfect name. Until a few days ago, when it finally hit you. 

“His name is Hunter,” you tell him, smiling as the dog’s ears perk slightly as his name leaves your mouth. You were worried he wouldn’t take to it well, but he seemed to be a fast learner. “It said on his papers he was bred to be a hunter companion dog, so I thought it was fitting.”

“That’s cute,” Eren smiles, supporting Hunter from his belly to hold him up and above his face, “Hi Hunter. You’re still my best boy, but now you’ve got an official name.”

The pup barks, almost ceremoniously, as if he understood Eren’s words. With the way these two are stuck to each other, Hunter probably did. 

“Yeah, that, and because, he reminds me of you, so I figured he should have a name to match. Plus, he’s half german shepherd,” you elaborate, brushing his tiny paws between your fingers as Eren brings Hunter back to his chest for more pets, “I know technically that would make his name Hunter Hunter if he has your last name, but I still think it sounds cute.”

Eren pauses, eyebrows crinkling together as he processes your words. “Huh? My name isn’t Hunter, though?”

“Well, yeah, I know,” you wave him off, crouching slightly for the pup to lick at your cheek. Hunter shifts his posture so that now he’s basically sitting in Eren’s crossed arms, perfectly content with the affection he’s giving and receiving, “That’s why I said technically, babe.”

But Eren still stands confused. “What—Technically, what? I don’t get it.”

You pause, straightening your knees to look up at Eren. You’d thought he was just pulling at your leg with his earlier comment about his name, but one look into those green eyes and you knew he was dead serious. And thoroughly confused.

“I—I mean, because of your last name,” you say, “Not your first name.”

Eren’s knitted eyebrows grow closer together. “But… my last name is Jaeger.”

You blink again, looking into his eyes, then down to Hunter, then back up at him. Dear god.

“Eren, sweetie, look at me,” you reach a hand out, squishing his cheeks between your thumb and index finger, “What are you?”

“Huh? What do you—”

“Your ethnicity, babe. Where you are from—where were you born?”

“Oh, um,” Eren thinks before replying, “Germany.”

“Right,” you nod slowly, “And you understand that Hunter is half german shepherd, correct?”

“Yeah, but, then why didn’t you—”

“Hush, don’t worry, you’ll get there,” you silence him by squish his cheeks further, before continuing, “And you speak German, too, right babe?”

“Well, yeah. Remember, you think it’s sexy when I—”

“I think it’d be sexy if you understood what I was saying,” you interrupt him, squishing his cheeks again, “Now, what does your name translate to in English from German?”

Eren takes a minute to ponder that, exaggerating his already smushed lips with a pout. “Hm, um, well, Eren doesn’t mean anything, I think? Or anything easy translate—honestly, I don’t think it’s German, it might be Hungarian? Or Turkish, maybe? I should probably ask my mum—”

“Sweetheart, your last name.”

“Oh!” he exclaims, “Jaeger?”

“Yes, Jaeger.” Finally.

Eren pulls his lips into a line as best he can when you take your hand off of his face. “Oh, well that means hunter, I’m pretty sure. There’s another german word that sounds pretty similar, jä—Oh! Oh! Oh, wait babe I just got it! You named him Jaeger, but Hunter, so his name is technically Hunter Jaeger, which is also Jaeger Jaeger and Hunter Hunter!”

Eren could pass as the hyperactive puppy with his wide eyes and the way he’s almost bouncing off the walls at his revelation.

“Babe that’s genius!” he praises you, “And super cute—you’re so cute, you know that. Hunter’s the perfect name and—oh! and he’s half german shepherd, it’s like it was meant to be!”

You stare at him, deadpan, as he smothers Hunter with more hugs and kisses, exclaiming about the puppy’s “brilliant” new name, and how he’s now even more of the best boy Eren’s ever seen. Eren’s ecstatic at this point, holding the puppy with just one hand, as he all but sprints back to his room, “I gotta tell all my subscribers!”

You sigh, a begrudgingly fond look on your face as Eren disappears down the hall. Poor Hunter; you’re pretty certain a good number of Eren’s subscribers flock to his videos for his looks, anyway—not that he’s not a good gamer, or an entertaining streamer, but well, you’re not blind, or naive—throwing a dog into the mix is only guaranteed more views and likes.

You hear Eren starts to record his signature introduction, but he stops halfway because a bark from Hunter interrupts him. “Come on, little Jaeger, you have to work with me here,” Eren whines loudly, before starting over.

You shake your head with a smile. “You’re so lucky you’re cute, Eren.”

[missjaystone]

Inescapable

Summary: Even in the middle of the ocean, your alpha manages to find you, even if it was an accident. Pairing(s): Alpha!Helmut Zemo x Reader Word Count: 3,640 Warning(s): NONCON! DUBCON! A/B/O Dynamics! Forced Claiming! Manipulation! Implied Stalking! Miscarriage mentioned! Death mentioned!

Everything around you froze when you looked up and met a certain pair of brown eyes, a certain sparkle when they looked into yours. The contact was brief before he was led around the corner by the Dora Milaje but it felt like it would never end. You worked on the Raft as a therapist to put as much distance between the two of you as possible but now that he was here, where could you go? The way he smiled at you as he walked by, it wasn't comforting like the first time you'd seen it, it made your heart stop in fear. It made his claiming mark on your neck throb in pain, a reminder of how much power he'd had over you before and how much he'd always have. It reminded you that he was your alpha, whether you wanted him to be or not. The man that passed by you wasn't the man you'd met, he was much worse.

The battle was over, your husband was dead, the child you were growing followed suit not long after you got the news, like he couldn't bear to even be born in a world without his father; you couldn't even blame him, you'd contemplated ending your own life to join your husband in whatever afterlife awaited. You'd just gone back to work after your allotted week of bereavement leave and another week of personal time. You weren't sure if you were ready to go back to work or not, but at the very least it would distract you. The first thing you noticed when stepping into your office were the pictures of you, your husband, and his family. You turned the picture frames face down before you could stare for too long, everyone in the pictures was dead; your husband, your mother and father in law, your two brothers-in-law, everyone.

Your first patient came exactly at 9:30 for their appointment. He was a brown-eyed brunette man of average height, dressed surprisingly nice for a therapy appointment. You greeted him with a soft smile and a handshake. "Welcome, Mr..." you trailed off so he could introduce himself. "Zemo," he answered, his thumb running over your knuckles gently before he let go of your hand and took a seat "Baron Helmut Zemo." "Would you like me to address you as Baron Zemo or Mr. Zemo? Or just simply Helmut if that would make you comfortable?" You asked him. "You can just call me Helmut, Doctor, but thank you for asking," he returned the same sad smile you'd given him when he came in. "Well, Helmut, I'm glad you came in. It's never easy dealing with loss and having someone to talk to is far better than bottling it up. I'm proud of you." He gave a single nod after looking around the office, motioning to the overturned picture on your desk "I thought my friend might be nuts to have referred me here but maybe you understand my pain better than anyone can." You smiled sadly at him "you'd be surprised at how many people understand." You saw his attention drift towards the sweets jar on your desk, holding it out to him "Turkish delight?" He smiled a bit more, this time a little more genuine as he took a piece out "don't mind if I do, Doctor."

After your first appointment, he came back twice a week. He told you about his wife and son, how much it hurt when he finally found their bodies amidst all the rubble. You asked him about his favorite memories with them, trying to make him remember the good times. You asked him about them; his wife's favorite flower or his son's favorite toy, encouraged him to open up about them. Soon he had you talking about your husband and the people you lost. It was amazing how effortlessly he tore down both your professional and emotional walls. He had you falling for him before you even knew you were.

For two months you tried every which way to talk him down off of his growing rage and hatred for the Avengers. You used everything you'd learned in school to make him understand breaking them apart wouldn't bring back his family or make anything better. At the beginning of the third month, he seemed to drop it, and you foolishly thought that was the end of it, that he'd seen reason. He'd slowly been getting bolder during your appointments, asking questions, each more personal than the last but only by a little. One evening, after seeing him for almost four months, he showed up about half an hour after your last appointment of the day, it was about a quarter of six. He was dressed just as nice as he always was, maybe even nicer "I hate to disturb you so late, doctor but may I take you out to dinner this evening? I'd very much like to thank you for these past months; I knew it's your job but I can't imagine what kind of troubled headspace I'd be in if I didn't have you to talk to." He'd asked so politely, how could you refuse? While you gathered your things, you missed the hungry look in his eyes. You missed the way they dragged over your body, the same way a lion looks at his prey. You'd be his omega soon. Whether you wanted it or not. You were his innocent, gentle little lamb and you needed to be protected from other wolves.

Thirty minutes later, the two of you were at his favorite fine dining restaurant in all of Novi Grad. It was fun, the most fun you'd had in months since the battle of Sokovia and the heartbreak that followed. After that first dinner together, it became a more frequent occurrence, usually once a week after his appointment. You were smart, you knew how stupid it was to be dining with the patient so frequently. This professional relationship was becoming close and intimate. He had you on the hook before you could even realize it and pull away. As you began dining with him more, your guard fell. Helmut was no longer your patient, he was your friend, he understood your pains. You began dining together more frequently and then he introduced alcohol into the equation.

When you looked back at everything, you cursed yourself for being so stupid. How could you not see his plan? He was making you comfortable so it'd be easier for him to go in for the kill. Everything you shared with him would get used against you later. Helmut could play your mind like a flute and you let him, you gave him the tools he needed to find your weak spots and exploit them for his own benefit. If he'd crashed into your life and caused as much trouble as he had, you could hate him, but you let him in, welcomed him even and he made himself as comfortable as possible before finally taking what he came for.

Your first night together was gentle and slow, getting to know each other's bodies on such an intimate level. You turned your back to him afterward, eyes watering as the feeling of betrayal settled in the pit of your stomach like a stone. "What's the matter, malo jagnje? Did I hurt you?" He'd asked softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder as he looked you over worriedly. You shook your head, quickly wiping your tears before they hit the satin pillow sheets beneath you. "No, it's not you, Helmut," you whispered. "Then what?"  He asked, a worried frown on his face. "I just worry, it feels too soon, like I've already started moving on," you answered with a sniffle. "Nobody mourns the same, jagnje, it's different for everyone. You told me that," he assured you, wrapping you in his arms and pulling your back to his chest.

He repeated everything you'd told him whenever you got emotional. 'Sometimes the best way to honor someone's memory is to find new ways to be happy' 'you can't beat yourself up for being happy without them, this is what they would have wanted' 'nobody can ever replace them but you can't wallow in self-pity forever'. Every piece of advice you gave him was used back against you. The two of you had been seeing each other for two months before you stopped answering his calls and messages. He'd shown up at your apartment when you hadn't returned his messages, worried something had happened to you, that his little side activities trying to destroy the Avengers might have led to you being hurt or captured or worse.

He was relieved to find you alive and well. "You haven't been speaking to me, are you unwell?" He asked after you hesitantly let him inside. "I don't think I can keep doing this, Helmut, I'm sorry," you said in a shaky, quiet voice. His face fell in disappointment "what's the matter? Have I done something? Malo jagnje, please, you can tell me anything you know that," he pleaded, taking your hand only to have it slowly pulled from his grasp.

"It's not you, Helmut," you said as clearly as you could muster, wiping the tears that were already beginning to roll down your cheeks. "Then what is it, moj voljeni? What's happened?" He pleaded for an answer. "It was too soon, I can feel myself forgetting him and I don't want to. I don't want to forget all the time me and Christoph spent imagining and building our future together. I don't want to forget about the baby we almost had, that died inside of me almost as soon as he heard the news of his father's death. I don't want to forget everything he and I had but when I'm with you, I feel the memories slipping away and I'm not ready and I'm so sorry for that Helmut," you told him, sniffling throughout. He stared at you for a long moment after you finished speaking, not saying anything. When he finally did react, he approached you and pressed a kiss to your forehead "I understand, little lamb, and I'll wait for you." With that, he gave you a tight hug, rubbing your back comfortingly as you sobbed into his chest for a bit before he left. You went to sleep that night thinking about how lucky you were to have a confidant like Helmut in your life.

You remembered thinking that was the end of things. He took it well and things would continue as they were before you became sexually involved. No wonder he called you his little lamb, you were too innocent and naive to see the anger in his eyes when you told him you'd stop sleeping together. If you knew then what you knew now, you would have run from the hills, hidden at the north pole. You would have gone to the police and gotten a restraining order or hired a security detail. But you didn't do any of that. You were a lamb being led to the slaughter by no one other than yourself.

Helmut stormed into your office on a night he knew you stayed late to put the week's worth of notes away in their correct files. As fast as he'd appeared, he'd closed and locked the door behind him, watching your stunned form for a reaction. "Helmut?" You barely managed to get his name out before he'd crossed the room, pulling you to him and into a rough kiss. No matter how much you shoved his chest, he only pulled away when he was ready to. He effortlessly picked you up and set you on your desk, already positioning himself between your legs "I've waited for you to realize your mistake, jagnje, but I'll wait no more. I know you love me, омега, you're troubled mind is still reeling from the loss too much to accept it." "Helmut, I don't want this anymore, stop it," you shoved him away but it did little to dissuade him. It only angered him.

He grabbed your jaw tightly and made you look into his eyes; the pools of brown swirls had been replaced by black, lust-blown pupils of a... an alpha going through his rut. It sent waves of panic through your mind but waves of something else to your core. You whimpered when you felt your heartbeat speed up, reacting to the alpha's close, intimidating presence. "Helmut this isn't what you want, this isn't you," you tried to reason despite the rising panic telling you to run. He chuckled darkly "oh, little lamb, this is what I've longed for since before I stepped foot in your office. I caught a whiff of your sweet, scent when you visited the memorial all those months ago and I knew you'd be mine. You might not want to admit it, but your body knows you need an alpha like me to treat you right, keep you safe," he hummed as he ground the growing bulge in his pants against your clothed core. "Helmut-" you started, but his squeezing your jaw harder made you stop immediately. "You'll address me as alpha from now on, little lamb. I'd rather not hurt you but tonight I will make you mine by any means necessary, understood?" He asked, loosening his hold so you could nod, which you did hesitantly.

Pleased, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your pants and pulled them and your underwear down, a smirk appearing on his features. He pulled your pants completely off and discarded them carelessly, holding your underwear up so you could see just how much you didn't want this; the flimsy black fabric already had a small amount of slick arousal on it. You watched in embarrassed shock and he brought the fabric close and sniffed it, a pleased hum leaving his lips as he tucked them into the pocket of his pants. "I think you do want this little omega, you want to please your alpha don't you?" He asked softly as his hand slowly drifted higher up on your thigh. "You aren't my alpha, Helmut," you said bitterly, ignoring the tears that stung your eyes as you glared daggers at the man you'd considered your friend and confidant. He snarled and dropped his hand to your neck, squeezing until the air barely flowed "but I will me, little lamb. And you'll be my perfect little omega, my perfect girl who'll give me the family we both crave and deserve."

His hand on your thigh finally came in contact with your core which was already soaked and ready for him. He hastily pushed in two of his fingers, curling them as he pulled you into a dominating kiss, nipping your bottom lip enough to bruise. Your denials were muffled by his lips and soon faded into pitiful, needy whines from his unwanted touches. He smiled darkly against your lips when he felt your body arch into him "see, омега? Your body knows what it wants, it's that big beautiful brain of yours that's keeping you down." You shook your head, trying to save any dignity you had left, which was none "I don't want this, Helmut, and I don't want you!" The words felt like acid coming up but his chuckle hurt worse. He was three fingers deep in your cunt, pulling whines and quiet, muffled moans from your lips, he knew you didn't mean that.

When he abruptly pulled his fingers out, you regrettably let out a disappointed whine, another, needier whine following as you watched him suck his fingers clean without break eye contact. It took .2 seconds for him to undo his belt and push his pants and briefs down, stroking his throbbing cock while he looked into your eyes. His hand still holding your wrist remaining just as tight. "I'll always take good care of you, my needy little lamb, you'll never want for anything ever," he promised, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead that didn't match the roughness he used to immediately bury himself to the hilt. He started off with a brutal pace, not giving you any time at all to adjust as he had before. His thrusts were purely animalistic, he was just an alpha trying to knot the omega in front of him amid his own release. He let you bury your face in his chest as an escape for now, whispering the filthiest things you'd ever heard in your life.

"See, little lamb? See how much you need your alpha to make you feel good, make you feel better than good?" He asked when you finally gave up on trying to mentally escape the moment. "N-not my alpha," you stuttered out in between the rough hammering of his hips. He snarled and bared his teeth, eyes darkening even more than you thought possible. "We'll see," he mumbled angrily. He tilted your head and moved your hair out of the way quickly, leaving no time for you to react before he sunk his teeth into your mating gland, his hips faltering a few times before his movements went from thrusts to more a series of rapid ruts as his knot began to inflate. Your pained scream was music to his ears, it was the sound of you becoming his omega, making it so no other alpha alive would dare to so much as breath on you.

When he detached from your shoulder, he again pulled you into a kiss, making sure you could taste the metallic taste of your blood on his lips while the feeling of euphoria from the bite coursed through your veins, reaching every last nerve ending. He let out a pleased groan when he felt your cunt strain around his knot as you came, sending him headfirst into his own climax almost immediately. His face happily buried in your chest as he rode out his orgasm, ropes of his cum painting your walls, reaching your innermost areas while you held onto him for dear life.

Your stifled sobs made him look up, a small frown on his face. "Oh, little lamb, don't cry," he said softly as he wiped your cheeks "I just want to keep you safe from all the wolves in the world, it won't always be this way." He ignored how hard your palm connected to his cheek "you bastard!" He gently picked you up and sat down in your chair, letting you curl up in his lap without dislodging his knot, smirking slightly when he heard your whimper at the shift in position. He soothingly rubbed your back as he held you close, comforting you "it's okay, омега, I'd hoped you'd accept us on your own terms but my rut came early and nobody else will do." You hated this; being reduced to your dynamic, to some cock sleeve for him to use as he saw fit. He'd bound you to him for the rest of your lives and there was nothing you could do about it now, so you curled into his chest and sobbed until you had no more tears.

You recalled the way he stayed with you for the rest of the night, comforting and tending to you. He'd return often, usually every other day to take you out somewhere for a date or just show up at your apartment to do it all over again. You couldn't put up much of a fight, once he was close enough, your omega side came out and you were putty in his hands. And he knew that, and he treasured it. He showered you in gifts; clothes, jewelry, wines, books, everything he could think of. When his visits became few and further in between, you hated the nerves you felt. You hated the way you wondered when he'd come back home to you. You were messed up, and it felt like it was all your doing. You broke your professional rules. You let him into your life. You told him everything he needed to know to get to you. You let him claim you. You were Baron Helmut Zemo's little lamb, and he'd never let you forget it, leaving bruises on your thighs and hickeys on your neck to show any and everyone you were a protected little omega, and woe to anyone who caught your alpha's wrath.

You then had to watch in horror as his actions became known on the news; he'd never given up his plot to destroy the Avengers. He'd succeeded more than he could have ever dreamed of and now, he was in jail. He'd be in jail for the rest of his life. It felt like losing your husband all over again, the pain deep in your heart hurt twice as much now. You practically had to go through detox to get used to life without your Helmut around you. You were still protected by his mark but you'd never get to listen to him shower you with praises while he cleaned you up after sex. You had to get used to a life without being on his arm and you hated yourself for craving his attention and companionship that you'd still claim to hate.

He smiled so happy when they stopped while waiting for the door to open. He spoke in Sokovian so nobody around understood him "izgledaš prelepo kao onog dana kad sam te pogledao, jagnje malo." "What'd he just say?" Your superior asked, looking between the two of you. You felt that familiar stone in the pit of your stomach, he'd have you doing his bidding in no time. You were already wrapped around his finger. You shook your head and looked at your boss "he's mistaken me for someone else." "Jedva čekam da stignem, jagnje," Helmut said with a smirk before he was pulled away by a member of the Dora Milaje, leaving you with a wink.

-malo jagnje - мало јагње - little lamb -jagnje - јагње - lamb -moj voljeni? - мој вољени - my beloved -омега - omega -izgledaš prelepo kao onog dana kad sam te pogledao, jagnje malo - изгледаш прелепо као оног дана кад сам те погледао, јагње мало - you look as beautiful as the day I laid eyes on you, little lamb -Jedva čekam da stignem, jagnje - Једва чекам да стигнем, јагње - I can't wait to catch up, lamb

[buckyodinson]

I'm just kind of sad and anxious right now and it's making me feel unwell, how do you think Zemo would take care of his bedridden partner?

I hope you’re doing okay, my lovely! And I hope this can help make you feel even just a little better <3

Zemo x F!Reader Headcanons - Taking Care of You on a Bad Day

Somehow, he knew how you were feeling before you even woke up

You honestly don’t know how he did it

But when you woke up, he was there with a fresh pot of cherry blossom tea for you

He told you he could tell from your face while you were sleeping that you weren’t feeling 100%

He knew something was troubling you in your sleep, so he made sure you’d have tea to wake up to

Since it always made him feel better, and de-stressed him too

He also had some plain toast for you too, knowing that when you got like this, you’d often end up feeling sick too

But you still needed to eat too, so plain toast it was

While you slowly ate the toast and sipped at your tea, he grabbed his book from his nightstand

It was a poetry book, and he’d taken to reading some of his favourites out to you in times like this

You noticed there were little post-it notes sticking out from various pages throughout the book

And he would flick to the page each post-it was on and read that poem to you, first in English, and then in Sokovian too

Because he knows you like to listen to him speak in his mother tongue

And then he’d explain why the poem made him think of you

Once you were finished with your breakfast, he’d rush off to take everything back to the kitchen, and when he came back, he’d bring a handful of Turkish Delights with him, making you smile

He really did have a sweet tooth for those things

You kept one on your nightstand for later, when you felt a little less queasy

And Zemo demolished the rest of them easily

He’d ask if you wanted to talk about how you were feeling

On the occasions you said no, he wouldn’t push any further, simply laying down with you and stroking your hair while you just relaxed for a while

When you’d say yes, he’d hold your hand and listen intently to what you had to say

Never interrupting your or belittling your thoughts, letting your stream of consciousness run dry before he replies

He tells you how much he loves you, and no matter what’s troubling you, he will always be there to comfort you

Then he kisses you sweetly on the lips, before peppering your face with kisses until you start giggling and pushing him away

He runs you a bath, full of lavish oils or bath salts and whatever else he has on hand

Before carrying you bridal style from the bed over to the bath

He’ll help you out of your clothes before quickly stripping himself too and hopping in

Then he helps you slowly climb in after him, laying down and leaning back against him

You stay there at least until the water runs cold, but more often than not, you tend to stay in there for much longer, just chatting about anything and everything that comes to mind

He’ll help you out, dry you off, and dress you in the comfiest pyjamas he can find in your wardrobe

If you’re feeling better by the evening, he’ll cook you a fancy dinner

If you’re still not feeling great, he cooks some plain pasta and you’re happy enough

Sometime in the evening, he will play some music and dance with you

If you’re too tired to dance, he will lift you up and wrap your legs around his waist and hold on to you as he dances for the both of you, swaying around, often singing along softly to the music too

And you can’t help but smile and laugh at how much of a sweetheart he is

You couldn’t ask for anyone better to get you through your bad days

Zemo taglist (please comment/message/ask if you want to be added/removed):

@noavengers @let-me-read-fanfiction-in-peace @zemodaddy @lulu-yuming @ichigomiluku @multiyfandomgirl40 @gwenebear @aisling1985 @booklover2929 @myeternalsin @moongirl1313 @angiekurosaki @lieutenantn @hibiscusgardenia @plantpottt @whatiswrongwithpeople @writeroutoftime @maldita-insonia @fandomxreaders @loudbluepancake @montypythonsholysnail @bel-13 @ayuoudro @leblubbles @marvelsvision @there-will-be-p-e-a-c-e @and-claudia @multifandombtch @sinister-sleep @moonstuffsteve @endorpuff @thanoshadtosnaptwiceforyou @cryinggarbagebag @eristudytime @grifffins @reichelhache @whoreforsamwilson @booksarekindaneat @ajeff855 @sapphiredreamer26​ @marvel-trash-bin @tendertales73 @nocturnal-world @buckys-sugardoll @galaxypox @valeskasgf @mochminnie @cheekybluefox @ashamed23 @lonely-ghost-daddy​ @miranda-paige  

(tumblr won’t let me tag some of you for some reason, maybe check your visibility settings - I’ll keep trying!!)

[13thbaronzemo]

Baron Helmut Zemo/F!Reader

Rating E (Explicit)

Every day, at dinner time, you stumble over your feet on your way to serve the prisoners their meals. Well, there's only one prisoner you are in a hurry to serve: Baron Helmut Zemo.

He'd been brought to the Raft by the Dora Milaje of Wakanda themselves a fortnight ago and, ever since he greeted you with grateful eyes behind the bulletproof glass during his first dinner as a prisoner, you've been looking forward to seeing him again.

You weren't sure what to make of the man at first, the history and myths of him having reached your ears before he did. He has taken down the Earth's protectors through perseverance and planning alone. He had blue blood but still bled like the rest of the human race. Indeed, the baron was a fairy story you'd hear spoken of with fear, reverence, or both. While you had two more years to be stuck in here, you knew that the memories you were making with him would always stick with you. And, while he may be trapped behind bulletproof glass, you could never be able to escape Helmut Zemo's eyes.

Tonight was no different, or so you thought. As you rolled the trolley with a single tray still on it - his tray - towards its final destination. The food smelled good, but it always did. The baron did not only get his own separate, walled-off section to serve his sentence but his menu. He lived as luxuriously as a high-security prison would permit. Your mouth watered and your stomach fluttered at the thought of him letting you lick his fingers clean of the delicious treats. It was only a night ago that he had invited you to share his meal before and stuck his hand out through the narrow opening and fed you himself. You savored the treats, as the sounds he made as you suckled his skin.

"Good evening, Baron,” you greeted him trying not to sound too giddy. There were cameras and microphones everywhere safe for a few blind spots that you took advantage of to indulge in his touch and taste. Even so, you could never be too careful.

“Good evening, my dear,” he stood up, that signature smirk already spread across his face. “Always a sight for sore eyes,” he said to you once again, but you don’t believe you’d ever get tired of hearing it or seeing him devour you with his eyes before you even slide the dinner tray through the opening in the otherwise sealed door. “I see we have Turkish delight and cherry blossom tea for dessert tonight.” Then, taking the tray, he brushed his fingers against yours and winked.

Leaning against the glass on one side as he rested against the bars on the other, you listened to him talk about the latest show he caught on his retro radio. The tale of the French sailors lost at sea and forsaking their humanity was riveting. Yet again, he could’ve been describing the mind-numbing dishwashing you would be doing later for all you cared. You were sure that his deep, decadent voice would make it sound exciting.

While returning the tray with a handful of Turkish delights left for you to treat yourself with, he asked: “What time is it?” When you answered that it was nearly 7 PM, he wrapped both of his hands around your wrist and whispered: “Thank you for dinner, my dear.” Then, as his grip on you got tighter, you blinked and the blue of his uniform turned red.

There had been a security breach.

Monochrome emergency lights were turned on, the alarm blared and half your arm was pulled inside the cell when the opening closed down on it, bruising your flesh and causing you to scream like a siren.

“Look at me,” he started screaming himself. “Look at me, my dear.” And, when through welling eyes you did look up at him from where you keeled over in pain. “Open the door.”

“What? Why? How H-how did you do this?”

“If you don’t use your security card to open this door, none of us will be free of it,” the baron bellowed out, his hold on your hand not letting up and neither did the latch that landed on top of your arm.

With your free and trembling hand, you slapped the security card against the side of the door and felt him free you as it slid open. While you were on the floor nursing your injured arm by curling around it, he snatched the card from your fidgeting fingers before he helped you up. His strong, solid arms slipped under your knees and around your shoulders as he carried you down the corridor under tens of EXIT signs.

“I’m sorry for your arm, but it had to be done,” he panted as his pace got faster with each cell he passed. Through the blare of the alarms and the pulse of your pain, you heard the other inmates bang against their bulletproof glass. You couldn’t think straight, could barely make anything out except for the sound of his voice and the taste of your salty tears.

You asked him, sobbing: “W-why?”

He answered, wheezing: “Do you remember the countess that visited me the other day?”

“Val?”

“Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, yes. Wrap your good arm around my neck, please.” As you did so, he let go of you to use the card on a door and exit the corridor. “She said she had a ride waiting for me today at 7 PM and all I needed was to make it there on time.” Blinking your tears away and pushing down the hurt of betrayal and the pain he had caused, you looked up at him and saw the same hungry eyes under a dangerous red light. “They trained you to head to the emergency escape pods, but you’re as much of a prisoner here as I am, aren’t you?”

Picking up the pace again, Baron Zemo sounded more like the fairy tales you’ve heard of him as he talked about the plan he came up with to reach a pod and pilot it to the surface where the counties had an aircraft ready to pick him and the vessel up. He sounded more and more like the sinister man you’ve been warned not to warm up to. But, as he breathed heavily and brought you back on your feet, he asked you, his voice dark and deep: “When was the last time you’ve seen the surface world, my dear? You said you were coming up on your third year working here. Three whole years without the sun or the moon. Come with me and we’ll count all the stars you’ve missed out on.”

Your knees were weak as he whispered in your ear, his arms still wound around you as your good one hung off of his shoulder. Your heart was weaker as you whined that you did wish to see the sky again and all the colors of the sunset. Waiting two more years when escape was so close seemed impossible, so you let him pick you up again and carry you into the craft.

Using the security card, he ushered you inside. Noting that there was only room for one passenger, the pilot, he sat you on his lap, your spine against his sternum before he locked the two of you inside and prepared for launch.

Again, as you watched him secure both of you in the seat and steer the pod as if he’s done it a dozen times before, you thought that you were witnessing the myth that is Baron Zemo. Then, as you felt his hot breath in your ear, you were reminded that he was only a man. A man who hasn’t experienced skin-on-skin contact for a fortnight. After setting the coordinates for the nearest coast, you used your healthy arms to reach for the drinkable water every escape pod came with. It was getting hot in that cramped craft and it wasn’t just the lack of each oxygen for two individuals.

“It is getting hot in here,” he confirmed your suspicions while blowing more hot air against the side of your neck. “Mind if I take the shirt off?”

Of course, you didn’t mind, you were thinking of doing the same thing. It was that hot and the promise of his perspired skin sticking against yours was sweet. However, when he reached for the hem of your work shirt, you realized he never mentioned which one he would be taking off. When the tips of his fingers traced your bare skin as he scrunched up your shirt, you sighed and arched your back against his spine. He was slow and careful with the sleeve of your injured arm and, after setting your shirt on the board of the ship, you felt his lips latched onto the back of your hand. “I truly am sorry for trapping you with me.”

“It’s like you said, baron. I was already trapped.”

The baron brought his lips to the back of your hand again for an even hotter kiss. “You’ve set us both free.” Letting his hand go, he reached for the shoulder and the bra strap there. “Now, I can finally see you and not just through a wall of glass.” Sliding it off, he let his lips linger there and both his hands slid the cups down and let your breasts spill out. He hurried to push them up with the palm of his hands and twist the tender tips between his fingers. “I can finally feel you.”

While the pinching of your nipples was almost painful, the sounds you made spoke of the pleasure that spread through you. You pushed against his palm and moaned as he manhandled you, squeezing down on the sensitive flesh and biting down at your tender throat. You couldn’t see the hunger in his eyes anymore, but you knew that he was famished.

“I’ve dreamt of this,” he sighed against the shell of your ear, smoothing his hands down your stomach. “I’ve stayed awake just think about this, about how you’d taste.” One hand, he pushed into your pants while the other he pressed against your lips. “About how sweet your saliva tastes after you drooled all over my fingers.” Then, sinking his fingers between both sets of wet and hungry lips he said: “I’ve dreamt of nothing but how sweet your pussy would taste coming all over my fingers.”

You sucked him in, both sets of fingers in both holes. Your mouth was watering and your cunt was slippery as he slid inside. It was almost as if you'd also been dreaming about this. He took note of this, your trepidation, and snickered: “Have you been touching yourself to the thought of this, of me taking you like this?” As your cunt contracted and your mouth moaned around him, he groaned, and his entrapped erection grew under you. “You have, haven’t you? I’ll tell you a secret,” he bit down your lobe before licking it better. “I’ve been touching myself, too.”

Before he breathed another dirty secret into your ear, you fucking yourself against his fingers and slobbering all over his other fingers. “Touch me,” you pleaded when he pulled them out of your mouth.

“I’ll do more than touch you, my dear,” the baron brought both of his hands to your pants and pushed them down far enough for you to slide them off all the way using your feet. Then, as he spread your thigh wide and bent your knees against the board, his fingers fidgeted with his fly. “I’m going to fuck you like we’ve always dreamed.”

Wet and wanting, you widened the gap between your thighs to allow him to cram his thick and throbbing cock inside you. You stopped breathing when he lifted you off his lap and guided his girth inside, then letting you sit back down as he slid home. Your lungs hurt when you heaved, finally full of him. With his chest rumbling against your back and his mouth moving against your throat, he grunted: “My sweet girl.”

“Baron-”

“You’re just as tasty as I thought you'd be and even tighter,” he muffled his words against your sweaty skin as he lifted you again and let you slide back down again, lubricating his dick and stimulating your sensitive inner walls. “You’re so tight, you’re never letting me go are you?” He chuckled, his voice the deepest it's ever been. “I’m not letting you go either. Such a sweet little pussy. Once we reach the surface, once the countess finds us, I’m going to make her fly us into the horizon.”

“Oh, Baron.”

“My dear sweet girl, I’m never letting you go!”

[xsvcrilege]

                      ❝ I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you . ❞

                𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟⧸𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑒 :  alara   »   hybrid   »   melisa asli pamuk  .

❛❛   aesthetic.  ❜❜   ―   ◜   ❏  . ―  a  midsummer  night’s  dream ,  she  was  truly  a  puzzle ;  but  god  help  anyone  who  mistook  her  for  a  game ,  piano  music  at  the  end  of  an  empty  hall , cracks  and  damage  on  an  ornate  statue. ―  triggers :  death tw , illness tw .

🇦​🇵​🇵​🇱​🇮​🇨​🇦​🇹​🇮​🇴​🇳 »

―   ◜   ❏  . ―  * ⠀ &.  *  melisa asli pamuk : cis female : she/her : doin’ time by lana del rey  —  it seems alara has been roaming volterra. the 30/31 -year-old hybrid has been in the city for a day . whispers in volterra says they’ve never heard of anyone like them.   ―  *

🇧​🇦​🇸​🇮​🇨​🇸 »

full name :  alara .

age :  30 / 31 .

date of birth : september 21st .

occupation : museum curator / auction house owner .

species :  hybrid .

language(s) spoken :  english  ,  turkish  ,  russian  ,  spanish  ,  french  ,  italian .

hair color :  brunette .

eye color : brown .

notable scars :  n/a .

🇮​🇳​🇹​🇪​🇷​🇮​🇴​🇷​»

ability :  telekinesis + zoopathy  | the user can move, manipulate or otherwise interact with objects/matter without physical means . +  the  power to read the minds of and communicate or manipulate animals . 

positive :  witty  ,  resourceful .

negative :  callous  ,  unpredictable .

moral alignment :  chaotic neutral .

hogwarts house :  ravenclaw .

deadly sin :  lust + greed .

🇫​🇦​🇻​🇴​🇷​🇮​🇹​🇪​🇸​ »

book : game of thrones .

movie :  documentaries .

food :  human blood .

flower :  orchids .

season :  fall  .

🇫​🇦​🇲​🇮​🇱​🇾​​ »

father :  unknown .

mother :  unknown .

mate :  wanted connection .

🇧​​🇮🇴​​ »

—  not much is known about alara. if you asked her, she would simply tell you that  she was left found in the kayaköy village besides her mother’s dead body ,  where many believed this village haunted by jinns and people refused to settle . 

—   alara’s cries were heard for two days before, a farmer, mustafa, decided to investigate. Finding the child, for a moment he hesitated before picking her up and taking her home to his wife, eda. As old as they were, the couple never had any children as much as they tried and knowing how the those in the small town would react in finding the baby in haunted village, those who believed in superstitious (which is more than half of the small town), would be wary of her. So they decided to keep her. 

—   Naming her alara, the elderly couple became quite attached to the hybrid . Of course, it went without saying their surprise and when the small girl started to grow up rather too quickly . on top of it finding the small girl drinking the blood of the slaughtered animals they would kill for food . mustafa dived into researching of anything that could help them, nothing came to him . was this some sort of demon or something other wordly .  They were never fearful of her though, it only just made them more protective of alara .

— Growing up they encouraged alara to be herself only when she was in the farm. Never allowed to use her powers out of their home . they kept her isolated and secluded . home schooled . yet as the years passed, alara learned more and more about her powers and herself , secretly feeding on human rather than animal .  alara would help around the farm and pretty much knew how to tend to it by the time she was 13 .

—   Although it would be a couple of months later that alara’s peaceful life would take a turn when eda’s drunken younger brother would come and demand for them to hide him . running from loan sharks he had double crossed and stolen from . Yet the very next day he was found and mustafa and eda caught in the crossfire when eda’s brother refused to tell them anything . Alara woke up to the commotion and witnessed eda on the ground already dead and mustafa beaten up , his heart barely beating  .  Eda’s brother immediately trying to sell alara off to them but before any of the thugs made a move they were already dead by her hands .   .

— she looked over eda who was kind to her and mustafa’s who’s heart gave in minutes ago . While she didn’t cry over them , she knew she would miss the home they made for her . the love and care they had . Washing off the blood and giving them a proper burial , alara left the farm that had been her safe bubble and decided to explore what the rest of the world had to offer . 

—    wandering about towns after town , when she ended up in france , the sickly daughter of a museum manager , Madeline ,  took a linking to her and befriended alara . whether it was luck or fate , alara had a fondness of the past and learning about it . her friend’s father taking a liking to alara who made his daughter happy decided to take her in once he had learned alara was sleeping in the streets .  alara was mostly taken in as a companion to his daughter but saw her absorbing knowledge like no other he had become fond of her . while alara was content with having a nice place to be and clothed . 

—   being sent to school with madeline, the two became inseparable . she loved alara’s indifferent nature and although at times madeline wished for alara to express herself or know what she is really feeling , madeline loved her all the same . Alara becoming fond of the sickly human girl she was to eat on the first day they met . Of course , she knew her time would be up soon . 

—   when madeline passed at the ripe age of 19 . alara simply thought it was time to move on considering there was nothing for her there . That is when her father stopped alara from going and told her of madeline’s wish for alara to be always taken cared of . Despite her indifferent nature alara had her kind moments to people who she becomes fond of . madeline’s father also pleading alara not to leave.. 

—   living as a trust fund baby , in his death , madeline’s father left everything he had to alara by her 23rd birthday . Distant relatives angered over this but had no right to contest the will as he had left them all each one dollar for being greedy and only caring about the money they would get once he passed . 

—    alara went on with her life . while she had no need to work , alara would go on to work a museum curator and a successful owner of an action house . 

—  her reasoning for being in volterra is due to the fact that she was needed at one of the museums . funny enough as fate would have it , during this time vampires from all over are coming into town as well .

[justpevensies]

Golden (Part 2)

Blurb: “You’re so... golden”. 

A/N: Part 2 to Golden, I hope you all enjoy! (Read Part 1 here)

A year had passed since that blissful, loving summer night of the ball. You carried on with your duties as a royal advisor, you carried on all of your day to day hobbies, interests and passions, you embraced every beautiful day that you got to experience in the kingdom of Narnia either by exploring the woods or enjoying the beach - those parts of your life remained normal. The main difference was you were not doing any of it alone or with “friends” anymore. You had a companion: King Edmund.

The two of you held “conflicting passions” in that you both enjoyed adventurous activities such as sword-fighting, horse riding and exploring the forest... yet you both were just as joyful cooped up in Edmund’s library reading with cups of tea. While the two of you sometimes did these past-times together previously, now it was unnatural to see the two of you seperated. 

Neither of you had to confess it but - to you and Edmund - it felt unnatural now doing these pasttimes without their significant other. You found happiness in life but you found joy in each other.

It was the two of you and it was perfect.

~

Over the last year, Edmund and you had dedicated your time together not as an oppurtunity to just “hang out” but to bond. To learn about each other, to grow in your love, to trust one another. It was policy between the two of you that there would never be an unshared secret, no story untold. You both just wanted complete honesty with no worries or shame to trouble either of you.

It was on one night - sitting in a pillow and blanket fort that the two of you built in Edmund’s Cair Paravel bedroom - that you both realised how serious it was.

Exchanging stories about your past, Edmund gazed you as you spoke about your childhood. As you reminisced, he could see the love you had for your family and friends at home but that you brought that same gentle and kind spirit into Narnia with you. At one point you began to talk about your grandfather and as you described playing with him as a little girl, the penny dropped in Edmund’s head: you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Some of Edmund’s stories from his life were slightly darker than some of yours as he recounted his experiences living in the war in London. He had spoken of his first days in Narnia in the Witch’s captivity too - the latter taking him a while to actually open up out of fear. However you encouraged him, reminding him of the promise the two of you made about honesty and that around you he had nothing to fear.

It was when Edmund was actually telling a story about his mother and how she would buy him Turkish Delight if she could ever find it in the shops that you had your revelation. Even though he was happy and at peace in Narnia and he had the most wonderful siblings in the world... at heart he still wanted to be loved and to know that he was cared for. He most definetely could defend himself and he was extremely courageous but he just wanted to feel wanted. Not only that, he had so much joy and love in his heart that he hadn’t truly discovered until he came to Narnia and he wanted to give it to someone. 

You just wanted to be there for him all of the time. You wanted to love him for all that was, is and would become. 

~

The day soon came that marked a year since your first Narnian ball, since you and Edmund first got your shared feelings out in the open. It was an anniversary for both of you - one that you both were excited about. You hadn’t planned anything too special but it was to be a day you were certain that you’d cherish.

Both of you dealt with your business and duties for the day, occasionally taking little moments and breaks to meet discreetly and have a conversation - some topics of the day included what you had read the night before and some sarcastic humour from Ed - before taking the afternoon to go riding through the kingdom. The leaves were a gorgeous shade of green, there was a rainbow shimmering over the waterfall of the Great River, all of life was in full bloom. Later you both rode to the beach at the foot of the cliffs on which the castle was built and, like children, splashed in the sea and sand.

That night, instead of dinner with the rest of the royal court, Edmund treated you to a quiet dinner in his chambers. Very rarely was there a moment at dinner when you two could be alone and it was a moment in time that you both appreciated so dearly. After chatting, wining and dining, the two of you strolled hand in hand downstairs to the balcony overlooking the beach, where everything began a year before.

~

The scene looked all too familiar. The sun was setting, the warm breeze rustled through your hair and graced over your skin, it was a glorious summer night. 

“Why don’t we call for some music and we could dance?” Edmund whispered to you, as you felt his smirk due to his face being so close to yours. 

“I’m actually loving the peace right now Ed if I’m honest” you replied with a chuckle before Edmund nodded with agreement. He wrapped his arm around your waist and held you close as you both gazed over the horizon. It felt as if the whole world was at your feet and both of you felt so content.

“(Y/N)?” Edmund broke the silence after a little while, using his arm wrapped around you to spin you to face him. You looked up at him worried, his voice sounded rather serious. 

“I need to talk to you about something” Edmund started before correcting himself, “In fact I need to ask you something”. 

You looked at him intently before he began to speak.

“Well, you know the journey we’ve been on over the last year. It’s been unlike anything I’ve ever experienced - I’ve known anyone like you before. You are compassionate, generous, welcoming, you are a saint. I already appreciated having you around because you were intelligent and courageous but now...” Edmund had to pause before continuing, worried his voice would crack up. “Now, you have become so irreplacable to me”.

Your breath hitched in your throat, you didn’t know how to react to his words. You had a feeling where he was going with this but you didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

“I admire every aspect of you, physically, but personally you have been a saving grace. You have set an example to me on how to live a life that is full of peace and joy. My brother and sisters have felt your impact but I can only speak from my own experience. Even at that I can’t describe how much you’ve impacted me and how much I love you-”. At that, Edmund cracked up and a tear ran down his face.

You were trying to hold it back when he whispered “Sorry”, quickly wiping it away, before you assured him with a quick “It’s alright”.

“I already felt the impact of Aslan’s sacrifice for me, how it redeemed me, how it made me change who I was completely. But you’ve helped me live that out, through my role as king and with anyone I meet. You encourage me in all that I do and you right me if I’m wrong. You have accepted me for who I am, even with all my past faults and, for that, I will eternally adore you”. At that, Edmund fell down onto one knee and you immediately felt tears beginning to run down your face. 

“Can I say “Yes” just now?” You asked before Edmund chuckled.

“(Y/N), would you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me... and marry me?” Edmund asked before you immediately replied with the biggest smile to have graced your face. “Of course, I will”. 

Standing up, the next few minutes were wrapped in Edmund’s strong embrace and filled with constant kisses, “Thank you”s, “I love you”s and some more tears.

Edmund looked at you with true adoration, holding you as close as possible to his chest. It was at this moment that the two of you knew the true meaning of love. You would never have been able to define it before but now you knew it by heart. 

Love was something shared between two people, and it was so strong neither of them could doubt it. Real love shines like sunlight, as beautiful as the sunset on the horizon - full of different colours and elements all based on the hearts, minds and souls of the two it was shared between. You were never sure if you’d ever find love like that, like the kind you had read of in fairytales, long before you ever came to Narnia. However, at this moment you discovered that you had truly found it, grabbed it with both hands and did not dream of letting it go.

Both Edmund and you knew what true love was like, it was like this. It was golden.

[breitzbachbea]

📓?? 👀

Okay, okay, okay, so -

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

The Ancient Olympics AU (which I talked about with @crispyliza )

This AU came into being after I relistened to the "The Ancient Olympics" episode of the history/comedy podcast "You're Dead To Me". It had the interesting information that a lot of Olympic winners actually came from Sicily & South Italy! So naturally I began to wonder what might have happened if my Sicilians ended up in Olympia ...

Dramatis Personae:

- Michele Vento (APH Sicily, my OC) as Trainer of the Bontade Twins - Marco & Lorenzo Bontade (Human OCs of mine) as Athletes from Syracuse - Herakles Karpuzi (APH Greece) as Athlete from Athens - Timothea Simonides (Human OC) as Herakles' Trainer - Omar Simonides (Human OC) as ... Good question? Co-Trainer to Thea ig

The Happenings™:

- Lorenzo and Marco want to compete in the upcoming Olympics as runners. Michele,probably a distant relative to them who lives close, becomes their trainer.

- The Sicilians roll up to Olympia, most likely a few days early because travelling is an adventure in these days and it doesn't hurt to have a few extra days to get accustomed to the terrain.

- Michele also definitely loses the Bontade twins 10 minutes after arriving at the sanctuary bc he wasn't looking for 0.5 seconds. So now he lost his boys at a place that currently contains approximately half of Magna Graecia.

- The reason he wasn't paying attention? Some athletes were preparing themselves nearby, bucknaked of course. Amongst them Herakles. Michele has always been a sucker for strong arms and legs, so that plus Herakles' beautiful face has him swooning from the get go.

- After he recollects his twins, they spend the next few days training, as do the other athletes, which is when Herakles notices Michele's looks.

- Christina (crispyliza) had the galaxy brain idea that Herakles intentionally flirts with Michele to sabotage the Bontades success at the games. It's an idea that he comes up with together with the Simonides - to be completely fair, it was probably Timothea's. Omar: "My, looks like you've got a fanboy." Herakles: "And what a pretty one at that." Timothea: "He seems to be a bit shy about it, though. Or maybe he's actually after those twin brothers?" (They figure out he's the Bontades trainer) Timothea: "Oh, he's a trainer! Pretty sucky at his job though if he's oogling the competition so much." Omar: "All the better for us, though." Timothea: -oil lamp ignites over her head bc light bulbs aren't invented yet-

- While we're at the Simonides: This was before it was mandatory for everyone to be naked, so Timothea managed to sneak into the games by posing as a man. Omar helps her with it, since he's trans and thusly got experience. Christina also had the hilarious idea of them having fake beards, which is just, YES. Timothea definitely cut her hair and they made whatever beard is in fashion in Athens at the time out of them. Their mother Natasa used to be a famed winner of the Heraea, the woman's games also held in Olympia.

- So let the games GreSic flirting begin

- The Problem: Michele doesn't want his boys to think he's betraying them for a rival athlete. He also really wants Herakles to rail him. The Solution: Find ways to be sneaky and secretive about it so the twins don't have to find out. Here is one of the possible scenarios I had for this: "When I first thought about this, I also had this scene in my head. Idk how accurate it works, bc it involves a tent and in the ydtm episode they didn't mention how people were housed during the games. (Like, I am sure there were guest houses, the temples probably offered some places to sleep, both of that but in upscale fancy for all the rich and important people attending yadda yadda.) Do you know that trope(?) when someone has sex but is trying to hide it? That. Just Michele sticking his head out of the tent, clutching at the fabric to keep everything else closed. Tells his twins, who looked for him, he is kind of busy rn. Tries is best to hide the fact of what is actually happening and to make them leave. It works. Kind of. Because as soon as they are gone, Michele sighs with a :| look and tells Hera to stop. "But why?" "Because you would have to nail every corner of this tent down and then they'd still find a way to spy!" Which is exactly what the twins ARE doing. They are trying their best to get an unnoticed peak from one place of the tent. But because it has to be subtle, all they get to see is feet and they either don't hear them or don't recognize Herakles' voice. I don't think he is the person to go out of his way to pick on people or pick fights in general, so they probably haven't had much interaction. So Michele smoothes out his chiton annoyed and leaves the tent, to then just stomp around enough for the twins to notice him and pretend they weren't doing what he knew they were doing."

- One day however, Marco & Lorenzo are missing their trainer and can't find him. They run into Thea & Omar, who are missing their athlete. Hm. Weird. Wonder what's that all about :)

- They end up catching Michele and Herakles in the act, just out there somewhere underneath a tree, which, naturally, makes the Bontades VERY upset. Lorenzo: "What do you think you are doing?!" Omar, in his head: 'Herakles, obviously.' Marco: "He's the COMPETITION, Michele!" Both: "You've left us all alone for THAT?!" Since the Simonides were in on the whole thing, they're not surprised just disappointed that Herakles vanished without a heads up. "Well, that ain't sprinting practice."

- The most hilarious thing is that could not even tell you who wins the race. I didn't even think about that part until yesterday. I'm kind of particular to the thought that it's somewhat of a photo finish with the three of them, but the twins come out on top. Since there can only be one winner, they flippantly let one of them be chosen by the equivalent of a coin toss. So technically, either Marco or Lorenzo has won, but they keep both parading around with the wreath and insist that the inscription to them mentions them both as winners. Now, if they got their way is another story, I didn't read any academic articles on this at. all.

- Second place is as good as last in the Ancient Greek world, but Herakles takes the loss in stride. Timothea is probably the one who's most upset. Marco: "Hah, so all your flexing - " Lorenzo: "and all your fucking for nothing in the end!" Michele: "Hey, I'd like to think I'm a reward in and of myself, not an obstacle."

Sequel Bait:

- Back home in Siracusa, Michele gets asked if he doesn't want to train his cousins, too. The ones from Neapolis. The ones Michele can't stand. However, his mother talks him into it and he agrees. Extra funny because Lovino & Feliciano were also talked into it by THEIR parents. So Michele spends the next four years butting heads with Lovino, knowing fully well their mother will rip his head off if they don't do well. Lovino is of course hiding his giant insecurities about disappointing his loving father & mother behind snark. Michele will arrive at Olympia with four athletes in two this time and looks like he aged 40, not 4 years from all the stress.

- Herakles is no competition this time, though! He wants to try his hand at wrestling this year. However, very quickly after his arrival, he butts heads with a fellow wrestler from one of the Greek colonies in Asia minor. Only thing's more annoying than his big mouth, which he shares with his wrestling buddy, are probably the flirtations coming out of it & Herakles can't wait to show him his place. (Yes, I do know that the Turkish people came into the area that is modern day Turkey far, far later, he should be of another ethnicity [and he gotta be Greek to participate, anyways] but. Is any of you really going to deny me Herakles and Sadık wrestling, bucknaked, covered in oil? I'd hope the fuck not.)

[slutsofren]

⭐️Director’s cut on Rhysand’s reaction to what reader was wearing in chapter 20?🙃🙃

& how he felt when he saw her safe 🥺🥰

oh man i love love love director's commentary asks!!

i hope you don't mind anon but i saved this lil ask for after i revealed the story behind the armor, i did not want to spoil it for anybody who hadn't read that chapter but now that chapter 21 has been posted for a few days, i can go into much much more detail than before!

under the cut because OH SHIT

i want to start this off by saying this whole bit about the armor and enver was honestly something i hadn't planned when i first explored the idea of the high lady of cunning. i knew i wanted to model an armor for reader based off the armor my dungeon and dragons character wears with the vines and leaves but when i was at literally fucking disneyland of all places, i was in the queue for haunted mansion and saw one of the tombstones said "Reseer" and it stuck with me for days after i came home. after repeating it to myself i discovered the turkish name enver and that's when i began to build this narrative, connecting three things:

the mating bond with a hot new take on it, the weight of significance for the mating bond to be built on, and rhysand's past with enver as a whole.

finally, idk about yall but if im gonna be alive for centuries, you bet im gonna chuck out heteronormative biases and just live freely so that was also a bonus way to explore sexuality within Fae and Illyrian culture and furthermore push Mor's plot away from being sexually repressed/assaulted and do something entirely else with her.

now that that is all out of the way-

so first i'm going to start with how he felt when he saw reader safe, back in the townhouse after returning from finding his mother's ring.

i pointed out that mor was the first to return and notice reader missing, then alerted the other inner circle members to their absence. rhys was very alarmed and understandably panicked, because as we know now- rhys already had very strong inklings of reader and him having more than just the bargain bond but also the mating bond which i can talk more about in later chapters or other directors cuts if anybody asks.

but for now, he was feeling very angry and worried, almost feared that tamlin had done something like kidnapping them from his townhouse which made him feel almost violated again- that somebody who he is falling in love with was taken from a home that was supposed to be safe, from a city that was supposed to be safe. he wasn't thinking right.

so, when reader returned, when he smelled them, felt their presence, he moved without thinking. he threw himself into reader just to make sure they were there, really there and it was not an illusion. to simply say he was relieved would be a disservice. he was grateful, nearly made broken by their presence and safety. but then he saw it- the armor.

Once more he asks, “Where were you?” Rhysand then took in the light armor you wore and his face scrunched up in shock then morphed into confusion. “What are you wearing?”

this is the moment he realizes what they're wearing and it takes him by surprise. he thought it was lost to time, never to be seen again. he doesn't fully understand just how or where reader ended up with the armor until they say it was a gift from that meddling suriel. that's when-

He came back closer to run a finger down one of the designs on your shoulder, tracing the vines and leaf pattern that danced across the leather. His voice was thick, heavy, as he said, “It’s beautiful on you.”

his heart aches for the man he once loved, enver was the previous owner of these charmed leathers and it's then when rhysand finally accepts that reader is his new mate, that the cauldron blessed him with another chance at happiness and it fucking terrifies him but he silently swears to himself that he will do this the right way. he will tell you about the bond and he will protect you until his last breath even if you don't accept him.

he will not another one of his beloveds die again, that's when he drinks that hard whiskey and his voice is heavy, nearly desperate with this promise on his tongue.

bonus because i am feeling generous

Rolling your shoulders back, the pauldrons making a slight crinkle noise at the movement. The noise seemed to snap everybody out of their hypnotic state and Cassian finally moved closer to you, gently touching the leather of your new armor before looking to Rhysand then back to you. The flash of movement was almost so quick you nearly missed it.

in this scene, cassian is the only one reader sees who notices the armor and looks to rhysand to kind of... check in on his lifelong friend. he knows the significance, the weight, of this, knows what the armor means.

cassian and azriel were there when the mating bond snapped into place for rhysand and enver, and they were there when enver was killed by his family, and were there to help rhys work through his grief over the centuries.

they all knew about the bond between reader and rhys, they could practically see it growing and shaping the two of you but seeing reader wearing this armor sealed everything they needed to know in their minds about you.

you were everything.

[fangirlyah]

✦bedtime stories - Edmund Pevensie x Reader

summary: your teen adventures in the great kingdom of narnia now became bedtime stories for your children. 

warnings: just too much sweetness

word count: 1,242

a/n: according to the books the ages of the characters should be different, but in this one-shot their ages will be those agreed by wikipedia reasoning with the actors’ age in the year of recording of the second film (it is an approximation). at the side of the real names of the characters, there are names that y/n gives them to tell the story:

Peter/Patrick  - 20

Susan/Sophie - 17

Edmund/Ethan - 15/16

Lucy/Laila - 12

Prince Caspian/Christopher - 26

y/n  / Mérida 

"mom! can you tell us a story?!” you peeked through the open door of your children's room, you were heading for your own bedroom to rest but you couldn't ignore your children's request. the light from a small desk lamp illuminated the room, while the three children went to their respective beds. it was ten o'clock at night and none of them could fall asleep. 

"please! I want one of those about the magic kingdom!" your eldest son, of eight years old, exclaimed. 

"its name is narnia, silly" mary, the only girl, corrected her brother. 

you went into their room and took a seat william’s bed, your youngest son. 

"if you promise to go to sleep later, i will tell you a story" 

"yes mommy" will move his little body, of a four year old boy, to sit on his mommy's lap.

"well, tonight's story begins when little queen laila turned thirteen. it was a sunny day and the whole kingdom was celebrating. every creature, animal and human being was overflowing with joy as the queen had stopped being a child to start becoming a woman. the war with the telmarines had come to a successful end so every habitant of the narnian’s kingdom had more than one reason to celebrate. 

sophie, laila and mérida were eagerly preparing for the celebration. the maids had made beautiful dresses for each of them..”

"where were the kings?!"

"they were also getting ready for the party, arranging their fancy clothes and making sure their hair was well neat, as they had to make a good impression. 

the main courtyard of the castle was adorned with garlands of cloth in the little queen's favourite colours and the tables were full of delights to be enjoyed. 

when sophie and mérida came down the three kings were already waiting for them with smiles on their faces. christopher had a very big smile, which when he saw the older queen became even bigger...”

"and ethan and merida?, you told us that they were in love, mum! how did ethan react?" your daughter asked enthusiastically, making her brother fake a vomit. 

"oh yes, they were very much in love. ethan was fascinated by the view in front of him, the queen mérida was beautiful. for that moment there were no wedding plans but, as soon as ethan saw her, he wanted to propose there at that moment..." 

"she knew he wanted to propose to her?!" 

"she found out years later when he finally did it, after years of friendship"

"there were warriors at the party?!" your eldest son stood on his bed imitating a soldier in the middle of a battle. 

"they were all at the celebration. queen lucy was so gentle that she had not allowed anyone to miss the feast. when the birthday girl came down the big stairs everyone had smiles on their faces and applauded her loudly. the food on the long tables quickly disappeared and the same with the drinks, but the guests remained dancing in the courtyard to the rhythm of the band playing on a small stage. ethan had not allowed mérida to dance with anyone but himself, keeping their hands together most of the time. not even his older brother, patrick, who had tried to dance a song with the girl.  the birthday girl passed through almost every arm of the guests giving them big hugs in thanks for their presence. the music only stopped when the lion, aslan, appeared at the party to give the little queen a few words of courtesy…” 

"you have the same name!” william pointed with his little arm at his brother. 

"I still don't understand, mum, how I was named after a fantasy lion" you just smiled to continue. 

"aslan was very happy for the little girl, so he gave her a valuable sword with a public speech wishing her well as a ruler of the kingdom of narnia. when night came and the servants took a large citrus and chocolate cake from the kitchen to sing a typical narnian birthday song. patrick, ethan, sophie and laila were already familiar with such a song as they had heard it countless times. but both christopher and mérida did not yet know it…” 

"mérida only knew the happy birthday song, so silly!l" 

"exactly, she had arrived in narnia a year ago so the birthdays she had lived in the kingdom were few. chistopher only knew the telmarine song and, given the circumstances, it was not advisable to sing it..." your children laughed thanks to your sarcastic comment "even though it was almost midnight and the guests had already left, none of the kings and queens or the princess merida seemed to take away their smile. the moon was full and when they were the last ones left in the large courtyard laila said 'this was the best birthday ever' causing a satisfaction in the faces of all those who had helped organize. when they thought they would close the night merida shouted 'whoever gets me first has the plague!' and so everyone began to run, ending up barefoot moving, with difficulty, on the white sand of the beach, with even bigger smiles. that night everyone slept in complete peace after a long time of suffering, they were one big happy family". 

when you finished telling the story your children were already relaxed, trapped between the colourful blankets of their beds. you snuggled them up even more, covering them with the blankets to keep them from getting cold at night. when you were about to leave a voice woke you up.

"mommy..." 

"yes, dear?" you answered to your daughter when you were about to step into the hallway outside her bedroom.

"can you tell us when ethan and mérida got married tomorrow?" 

"of course" satisfied, she turned her back on you. 

when you had already closed the door, you bent down to pick up a toy dinosaur that was on the floor when you heard a voice. 

"psss, aslan!" your daughter shouted whispering. 

"what do you want, mary?" a sleepy boy answered. 

"do you think mummy is mérida and daddy is ethan?" 

"you're crazy, these are just fantasy stories" 

"but violet told me that aunt susan tells her the same bedtime stories! maybe the kings and queens, are dad and his brothers and sisters!" 

"mary, you ate too many turkish delights today. go to sleep" 

when you heard that the conversation was over, you went to your room with a smile on your face that only grew bigger when you saw your husband lying down reading a book. 

"they will start to get suspicious if you keep telling them about narnia" edmund looked at you as you took off your dressing gown and went into bed to leave a soft kiss on his freshly shaved cheek. 

"I think they already do" you added comically making him laugh "guess what they want me to tell them now" ed looked at you with raised eyebrows waiting for an answer 

"they want me to tell them when you proposed to me and we got married" 

"oh for aslan, that's so embarrassing" he said, recalling his chequered proposal. 

"I'm sure more than one man has dropped the ring on the grass while he was kneeling" you loved to bring that up, because that way you could see him blushing and feel his face hiding in your neck.

"tomorrow i tell them the story" 

[dancedance-resolution]

here's my design for goty 2022 (in an au where copyright isn't an issue)

FACTS

name: nia mahdi

age: 11

ethnicity: persian

religion: muslim

family: nia is an only child. she was born in charlottesville, va, after parents immigrated there from iran.

notes: nia is autistic and trans <3

DOLL

face mold: nia would get a new face mold that is designed based on ethnically persian features

skin tone: 25 ("tan skin with warm neutral undertones")

eye color: dark brown

freckles: yes

hair cut: wavy, very long (kanani length)

hair color: dark brown

meet outfit: a trans pride flag colored scrunchy for her hair, a light blue zip-up sweatshirt that says "i am proud to be autistic" on the back, this t-shirt (a light blue t-shirt with fan art of dreamer with a trans pride flag cape) beneath that sweatshirt, these shorts (pastel plaid knee-length shorts), lindsey's striped leggings beneath those shorts, and sperry shoes

meet accessories: bright purple ear defenders, an AAC tablet, a doll-sized version of the 2021 dc pride comic book, this pink kryptonite chewelry

BOOK 1

(these books would have three authors - me, an author who is muslim and a second generation immigrant, and an author who is a trans woman of color. the reason for three authors is so that we can tell nia's story authentically - i'm autistic and have autism gender like nia, the second author is muslim and an immigrant like nia, and the third author is specifically a trans woman of color like nia.)

in chapter 1 we'll briefly go over this background information:

nia came out to her parents as trans on the car ride home from the last day of first grade. she chose the name "nia" because she wanted to name herself after nia nal, a character on her favorite show (supergirl) because nia nal is trans like she is, nia nal is an alien (and nia mahdi oftentimes feels like an alien around other humans), and nia nal is a really cool superhero! (unspoken: nia nal is nia mahdi's special interest.)

it took nia mahdi's parents a little bit of time to wrap their heads around her truth, but soon, they fully accepted nia for who she is.

that summer, her parents informed nia's school of her correct name, pronouns, and gender. and nia started growing out her hair, and she's never cut it since! nia loves her long hair.

when nia started second grade, nia's classmates sometimes accidentally called her by the wrong name and pronouns, but they always apologized and corrected themselves when nia pointed out their mistake. a few kids were confused, but once nia explained that she knows she's a girl just as well as you know you're a boy/girl, they all understood and accepted her :)

now onto the real content of the first book, which takes place from september to december:

nia's just started sixth grade at a new middle school. it's really loud, big, and hard. but she has a friend, ender. ender doesn't speak english well (he moved to america from turkey just last year), but that's okay because nia has trouble speaking sometimes too.

one day, nia's parents take her to a doctor, and she has to answer a lot of questions and take a lot of tests.

a few weeks later, nia's parents sit her down and tell her that she has been diagnosed with autism.

nia researches autism and feels very relieved and validated. (unspoken: autism becomes one of nia's special interests.)

at school, nia gets some cool accomodations: she's allowed to wear ear defenders at lunch and in the hallways, she can keep a tablet in her backpack to use for AAC when necessary, and she can use the school's sensory break room when necessary.

one time, nia gets very upset after receiving a "bad grade" on a reading test. a few of the questions asked her to identify characters' emotions, motivations, etc., and nia wants to explain to her teacher that her autism makes "emotional reading between the lines" hard for her. but she's so upset that her mouth isn't working properly, so she uses her AAC to talk to the teacher.

after that, one of nia's classmates makes a rude comment about her AAC. speaking through her AAC, nia explains to him why she uses her AAC. she stands up for herself.

in her free time, nia keeps researching autism and disability justice advocacy. she begins to think that her friend ender might be autistic too - he has a lot of autistic traits, and she's never felt alien around him in the way she does around most people.

she tells ender about her theory. ender says he's not sure whether or not he thinks he's autistic. but he does know that the hallways are far too loud, and he would like to be able to wear ear defenders like nia. so nia lends ender her spare pair of ear defenders.

the next day at lunch, ender gives nia back her ear defenders and reveals that he got in trouble for wearing in the hallway. the teacher thought he was wearing headphones and listening to music (which isn't allowed), and ender couldn't remember the english words to explain to her that they were just to shield him from the noise.

nia wants to help ender be able to wear defenders. she schedules a meeting with the guidance counselor. together, she and ender explain to the guidance counselor that ender just wants to wear ear defenders in the loud hallways. the counselor says that ender can't do that since he doesn't have an official accommodations letter.

nia leaves the office very upset. she knows from her research that autism diagnoses are very expensive and hard to get. she wants to find a way to get ender this accommodation without an official letter.

so nia makes a plan: she and ender write a long essay explaining why ender should be allowed to wear ear defenders.

they present the essay to the counselor, and she's convinced by their arguement. ender is now allowed to wear ear defenders in the hallway :)

to celebrate their victory, nia buys ender bright purple ear defenders (the same type she has) so that they can match :)

and that's the end of book 1

BOOK 2

book 2 takes place from january to march

nia goes on puberty blockers. nia's glad that she won't have to go through male puberty, but she also feels weird about it. nia is very excited to start wearing a hijab, and her mom says that she can start wearing a hijab when she goes through puberty and transitions from being a girl to being a woman. so, if nia isn't going through puberty now, when will she get to start wearing a hijab?

nia talks to ender about her problem. ender suggests that she should talk to her mom about it.

nia talks to her mom about her concerns. nia's mom explains that the shift from girl to woman involves more than just her body changing: it involves growth, strength of spirit, and learning about oneself. nia's mom will be able to tell when she's ready to start wearing the hijab, even if nia isn't going through puberty. nia feels a lot better now.

the next day at lunch, nia tells ender the good news. he is very happy for her. he then tells nia that he's scared of puberty too. he asks nia how she knew she was a girl, and nia explains how it was this strong internal feeling. ender reveals that he feels like he's not a boy or a girl. he's afraid that that means he's weird or broken. nia explains that he's not weird or broken - some people are non-binary, which means that they're not fully a boy or fully a girl. ender really likes that word. nia also tells ender that some non-binary like to use the gender-neutral pronouns "they/them" and asks ender if he would like her to start using those pronouns for him. ender says that he's not sure. he likes he/him pronouns, he thinks, at least for now. nia smiles and tells him that she's proud of him.

the spring dance is in march. nia and her mom go shopping for an oufit. at first, nia drifts towards the pretty dresses. she loves how they look and feels great in them, but she wants to try on suits too. she feels a little bit insecure when she realizes that she loves how she looks in the suit too. (plus, this navy suit will go better with her purple ear defenders than the colorful dresses will.) she's scared that her classmates will think she's not a "real girl" if she comes to the dance in a suit, but then she remembers her conversation with ender - when ender asked her how she knew she's a girl, her answer was that it was just something she knew. her gender isn't defined by her clothing preferences - she's just as much of a real girl in this suit as in those dresses. so nia buys the suit, and she feels very happy and confident.

at the dance, she finds that ender is wearing a skirt (and a tuxedo shirt and blazer). she runs up to him, and they both happy stim. they have a lot of fun dancing and snacking on cheez its together.

BOOK 3

book 3 takes place from april to june

the main plot of book 3 is going to be nia's grandmother visiting from iran for three months. nia learns a lot of new information about her family culture.

in june, to celebrate the end of the school year, nia's school has a multi-cultural night.

ender signs up to bring in some traditional turkish food and share some of the poetry his dad has written in turkish. he encourages nia to sign up for multi-cultural night too!

so nia signs up.

together, nia and her grandmother cook a ton of traditional iranian food to share at the celebration. she and her grandmother also work together to sew a special kaftan for nia.

the night of the celebration, nia dresses up in her kaftan and grabs the containers of food. as she's getting ready to leave, her father asks her to stop so he can take a picture of her. her mother says, "wait! i have one other thing for the picture!" (but spoken in faarsi). she emerges with a hijab for nia. she helps nia put on the hijab and tells nia that she's seen how nia's grown into a woman this past school year (aka, over the course of these 3 books). nia is so happy that she cries.

at the multi-cultural night, everyone loves the food and nia's kaftan and hijab. when ender sees nia's hijab, he starts happy stimming, and nia starts happy stimming too.

that's all my plans for goty 2022!

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing