#and then lied down to rest

[keepit-toyourself]

What I love/hate about ovulation and the post-ovulation days: I get wet at the most random times???

[verflares]

as always, everybody should make sure to wish a big happy pride to whatever these two have going on 🎉

[somegrumpynerd]

Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Literally never recovering from that one scene where Zayne rolls his eyes at MC teasing him. Like just look at him

The little millisecond smirk when he does it

The way he rolls his entire head with his eyes

The sass is so strong with him I can't

[manitapaleta]

Jajaja gey people

[zishuge]

I'm supposed to be working but instead I'm thinking about Li Lianhua growing vegetables and how, once upon a time, he was so happy that he almost cried when he finally managed to grow some turnips.

Thinking about how he must've been at rock bottom then - sick, injured, heartbroken, having just lost in one fell swoop everyone and everything he's ever cared about. His shixiong, dead. He believes it's his fault. His shifu, dead. He believes it's his fault. His sect, in ruins. He believes it's his fault. His people no longer believe in him. A-Mian doesn't love him anymore. It's all his fault, it's all his fault.

He doesn't have Hulijing yet. He's alone. He's heartsick. He'll be dead in ten years, or much sooner than that if he can't find some food and shelter. His Sigu Sect leader token is only worth 50 taels of silver. It turns out everything he has built his life around is worth only 50 taels of silver. I can hear his self-deprecating laugh. How foolish he must've felt, having his life's ambition put so violently and abruptly into perspective.

Have you ever been so despondent that you cling desperately to just one thing, anything, that you can focus on in order to not think about everything else? So: turnips.

Tending, weeding, watering, counting, day by day by slowly passing day. The vegetables grow and he survives. And finally, one day, he discovers that against all odds, he has turnips. These hands which he believes have caused the destruction of all that he once held dear, somehow managed to nurture creation and support life. Everything and everyone is gone, but here in his hands is this one small glimmer of hope that perhaps he is not only capable of ruin. How happy he must've been. Was it the first time he felt joy since before the East Sea battle? How he must've wanted to tell someone, but there was no one there.

You know who he must've most wanted to tell? His shifu. His shifu, who once told him that he didn't care about Xiangyi becoming any great martial artist. Just eat well, drink well, and live well. Maybe kneeling there in the dirt, gently cradling his small misshapen turnips in his hands — maybe that's when Li Lianhua finally understands what Shifu meant.

[linusbenjamin]

Lost 3.15 | Left Behind

[scribefindegil]

god. i’m still real fucked up over Manga Mogami Arc, and not for any of the reasons people warned me about. like, Mogami’s world ramps up the violence above what they could show in the anime (which, thanks Bones, I personally could not have handled watching that so I’m glad they toned it down), but that makes sense for him. he’s a powerful evil spirit who’s created a hell dimension. it’s brutal, but it isn’t unexpected.

what got me was what happened before that.

[Image ID: A partial page from the Mob Psycho 100 manga. Panel 1: A psychic picks up an ornate staff and says, “So she beats us to death, one by one ... or we beat on her, all together.” Panel 2: Another psychic, sweating, asks, “You really think the client would agree to that ...?” Panel 3: A closeup of the first psychic, veins bulging and eyes narrowed. He says, “The client is currently bleeding out on the floor. Open your eyes. This is no time for questions about morals and ethics ...” Panel 4: Dialogue continues, “It’s looking more like ... kill or be killed.” The crowd of psychics looks distraught. Panel 5: Reigen, with a horrified expression, thinks “Things were already bad, but ...” End ID]

So for those of you who haven’t read the manga, there’s a point after Mogami has trapped everyone in the basement and revealed the extent of his power where some of the other psychics decide that their best strategy for getting out of this situation is murder! Cool! (Does someone point out that Mogami’s spirit has already jumped into a different vessel and there’s nothing to stop him from doing it again? Yes! Does this give them pause? No!)

I think this is really interesting, because in the anime the real threat in this arc always comes from Mogami himself, even if it’s enacted through his spirits in the mindscape. But in the manga there’s this part that still takes place in the real world, with regular people who aren’t being controlled or possessed, and because their lives are in danger they’re willing to try to kill a middle-school girl to save themselves. Mogami must have been so chuffed. Here are these people all ready to prove his point about the darkness at the heart of human nature and how no one really cares about anyone but themselves, and he hardly even put them up to it! It reminds me of the part with the astral projection stalker, where it’s one thing to see this kind of behavior from an evil spirit, but it hits harder when it comes from living humans.

Also really important to note that they got this idea because of Reigen. Obviously he was not encouraging murder! But it was his successful knee-strike exorcism of Jodo that gave the other psychics the idea that they could defeat Mogami by doing physical violence to his host.

[Image ID: Jodo lies unconscious on the floor. Someone says, “You saw what just happened. Jodo was possessed ... but that dude’s kick took him down! We can try the same thing against her.” End ID]

And Reigen can tell that he won’t be able to talk them out of it! He freezes up! It’s Shinra who, very bravely and very stupidly, runs forward and tries to stop them and gets his face bashed in for it (i’m not screencapping this because it makes me too upset).

It just. It’s already so much in the anime when Mob refuses to accept Mogami’s worldview after six months in his world. It’s even more when the last things he experienced in the real world were so bleak. But he’s so, so brave and so, so stubborn, and he’s willing to believe that all those people deserve the chance to change too.

[blluespirit]

I sort of like the thought that Zuko and Aang take the Sun Warriors' warning not to tell anyone about the dragons a little more seriously… and they keep it between them. Of course, they trust Sokka, Toph and Katara. Of course they know they wouldn’t tell anyone, but now three people (including Iroh) know the truth about Ran and Shaw. And that’s three too many when you’re trying to keep a secret.

(and there are other people at the temple as well - like Haru, Teo and The Duke - who, while trustworthy, aren’t as close to them as the others, and when it comes to secrets with as much consequence as this one, you can’t afford to take any chances.)

Furthermore, the culture within the Fire Nation since Sozin’s rein has been warped. The culture is not to respect the dragons as the original firebenders, it’s to conquer and kill them. It’s the ultimate proof of your strength as a firebender. All it takes is one mistake before rumour spreads, and people go looking for the ultimate hunt. It’s not something Zuko or Aang can risk.

Whether Katara, Toph and Sokka (and Suki) ever find out the truth is up to you. But post-war, after Zuko returns from a strange, poorly explained trip with a dragon, and eventually develops the ability to use rainbow fire, either the others have some questions about Aang’s knowing look, or they are finally let in on a monumental secret.

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

[bahoreal]

photo of my screen cos im lazy and idk if this is done yet but but obsessed with this one. hair loose 😳 informal 🫦 casual 🥵

[fluffypotatey]

An idiot to sacrifice yourself to shield wukong. Wukong who are you speaking to? Wukong pay attention to your audience!

he is an idiot who must eat his words when it comes to Macky 🤧 like all three of them sacrificed themselves and would do it again, but Wukong is fucking twirling his hair to MK like “he tried to play it off like he didn’t care teehee the dork. who does that” while MK is like “oh gee :) who would ever :) attempt a thing like that :) ever”

[littleragondin]

So I may have been slightly obsessing over “To sir with love”, as one does, and a thing that has been circling in my head for the last few days is the way Tian's confrontation with his mother at the start of episode 13 and his talk with Yang at the end of the same episode echo and oppose each other.

Madame Li comes to Tian when he is in love, hopeful, begging for a chance at happiness, and how does she respond? She crushes it, with the revelation about Jiu and Mr. Ma yes, but mostly with everything else. You will never know love, she says, except mine. That stifling love who wants him to be someone else, that chips at who he is again and again and again.

Then Yang finds his brother (heart)broken, and Tian holds him back to confess his love, again, now in despair and shame and self loathing. And Yang response to that is as it has always been, that his brother is wonderful just as he is. You deserve love he promises, and I love you I love you I love you. A love with no reservation and for all that Tian is, a love always there.

And they both love Tian, they are both afraid and worried for him, both are going to great lengths to protect him, at this point both believe that Jiu has lied to Tian and played him. And. Yet. His mother again puts the blame on him, on who he is, makes him guilty of his own betrayal. His brother reminds him that it's not true, that the betrayer is to blame, and that the fault never laid with him.

And so it's no surprise that Tian pushes away his mother and the prison her love has built around him, but seeks the comfort of his brother's love who has always celebrated who he is.

[kenobihater]

you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?

[softquietsteadylove]

We need more fake wedding/engagement AU pls ♥️

"Hey."

"Hey," Gil looked up, surprised by the soft voice and the silent steps padding into the kitchen. He pulled up his piping bag from making little rosettes of whipped potatoes. "What are you doing up?"

It had been yet another long day, and even longer than most. Ajak had required Gil to make a slew of appetizers for the engagement party she was insisting on hosting for them. He had agreed, of course, because it made sense.

Thena had expressed her worry over him slaving away in the kitchen for a party supposedly in his honour; couldn't they just get it catered? He said it was sweet, but he was happy to cook for it, and he would have plenty of time to prepare everything, so it wasn't like he would be too stressed about it.

It was only a partial lie, and it only satisfied Thena partially anyway.

She then spent all day helping Ajak plan the layout for the party in the expansive 'back yard' of the property, including their little section of beach. Ajak had the best eye for decoration, but Thena was a master planner. She had every square inch optimised and every minute accounted for while Sersi and Makkari focused on the guest list and aesthetic for the party.

They had both reconvened at the dinner table, swaying from the fatigue of the day. Thena had even excused herself earlier than normal to get some sleep.

"Are you still preparing for the party?" Thena asked, ignoring his question about why she was up. She walked closer, pulling her cardigan around herself. She wore a cardigan because it was cold but preferred the silence she could achieve with bare feet?

"I'm almost done," he smiled, piping his last few dollops of Duchess potatoes. "These just need to set, and then tomorrow I'll bake them with a butter bath and a little cheese so they can be served hot."

Thena drifted around the side of the table to him, similar to how she had hovered the day of the sandwich making--a day which neither of them had mentioned, but did it ever stick out in his mind.

He could never forget the feeling of her lips at the corner of his. Although he could also never forget the look on his mom's face when they both realised she was still in the room to witness their little moment. He had been embarrassed, sure, but Thena had all but run out of the room, barely looking at either of them for the rest of the night. She looked cute all flustered, though.

Thena watched him as he worked. "You're working awfully tirelessly for a party that should be for you."

He smiled at her, squeezing out the last bit of potato. "For us!--and besides, I don't mind."

"You keep saying that."

He couldn't help but be a little surprised. He hadn't expected her to voice a kind of defensiveness in his name. He shrugged, "I dunno, I'm used to it."

She tilted her head at him (cutely).

"I've always done stuff like this," he supplied easily as he finally set down his piping bag and looked at the three trays of apps he had finished. "Don't get me wrong, mom's a great cook, but stuff like this...I did do catering before I started at the company."

Thena also eyed his bounty, including all the dishes left from it. "Most caterers have entire teams to assist them, too."

He shrugged again, somewhat more sheepishly. "I guess, but honestly, hiring a caterer is more trouble than it's worth. At least I know what we all like, what we don't, that kind of thing. I know Sersi is allergic to buckwheat, I know Kari doesn't really like meat even if she's not totally vegetarian. I know Druig is picky with textures and I know you hate seafood."

Thena rolled her eyes at him.

He chuckled, though, picking up his tray and getting ready to load up the fridge even more. He smiled as Thena pulled the door open for him. "It's something I can do to take care of my family, y'know? Mom has done so much for us our whole lives."

And his father had done absolutely jack-shit for them.

"I wanna do whatever I can to help out," he concluded as she helped him load the last tray. The rest of the fridge was already stuffed with cheese appetizers, puff pastries to be baked, fruits that needed carving, and plenty else.

He turned and stretched with a groan. He was far from done, "I'll be up soon, don't worry. I just gotta finish these-"

"Leave them." He looked down at Thena, but she stared right back at him, arms crossed around her. "Leave the dishes for tomorrow."

He looked around the kitchen; it was pretty disastrous, and he didn't want to imagine what it would be like if his mother's kitchen weren't so massive. "The sink's totally full, not to mention the dishwasher. I can't-"

"It's not as if anyone will be using the kitchen for themselves tomorrow anyway," she shook her head, even pulling him by the hand. "They can wait until tomorrow, Gil."

"But-" he floundered, although he wasn't trying all that hard to escape the grasp of her very cold, very delicate hand. He looked down at the hand, and then at her bare feet again. "Thena, you're freezing--seriously, why aren't you in bed?"

She didn't answer him, still pulling him with her to their shared guest room.

"Were you cold?" he asked, and he had a feeling he was getting warmer (no pun intended). He tilted his head to try and get a better look at her, "is it too big? I told mom we didn't need a king sized bed."

"Just come to bed, Gilgamesh."

He grinned; she couldn't sleep without him.

He could admit just to himself that he had also gotten used to sleeping with her. After the general horror of sleeping with his best friend in a partial state of undress wore off, he had to admit, it was comfy. They fit together well, he gave off enough warmth for the both of them, and Thena would naturally wake him up by running her fingers through his hair.

Neither of them had mentioned that either, but he had a feeling she liked cuddling too.

"Fine," he conceded, yawning as he trudged up the stairs. "But I'm being a bad chef by leaving all that sitting there."

"I'm sure the code of conduct will forgive you," she drawled, finally bringing him into the room. She hadn't even closed the door behind her. She really did get up just to bring him to bed with her.

Gil sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He was more tired than he thought he was.

"Get changed and lie down, Gil. Don't worry about the dishes."

Well, if she was going to tempt him with that lovely voice she had. He grumbled, hauling himself up and to the bathroom adjoining their room. Now that he was in the comfort of the familiar space, he felt how exhausted he was. Maybe she was right, he should ask for more help with stuff like this.

The dishes did get done, though. By the time he came downstairs the next morning to ask why she had gotten up so early, Thena had done every single one of them.

[ravencromwell]

Finally decided to indulge in the Siuan/Moiraine meta I've been wanting to write for ages now, musing on the differences in psychology ensuing from their significantly different arcs within the book and show and why Siuan's actions at season 2's apex are entirely in psychological sync with her show portrayal, even if they swerve wildly from the books.

Let's start with some Siuan back-story context. In the books, Tear was undeniably an unfriendly city for those with the One Power. But that translated, in practical terms, to Aes Sedai keeping their stays there brief, and girls who could touch The Source being quickly bustled off to the Tower. There were no Aes Sedai advisers, as in other kingdoms etc., but neither was there the virulent hostility of the show.

Siuan left Tear quickly in the books—the first day she was discovered to have the Power, but only because a sister was traveling through and didn't wish to delay returning to The Tower for such pesky things as sentimental goodbyes. Was that harsh? Absolutely. But the world of the books is exceedingly harsh in some respects, giving girls little to no choice about becoming Sisters, should they be discovered harboring abilities. (Much of Nynaeve's back-story involved hiding her powers precisely because she didn't fancy being ripped from The Two Rivers.)

Siuan faces a much different harshness in the show. The show doesn't do a great job explaining this, but The Dragon's Fang, which is etched onto Siuan's door before her house is unceremoniously torched, is a sign of immense contempt for Dark Friends. Within show Tear, a wary mistrust of Aes Sedai has curdled into something much more dangerous. All use of The Power is suspect, because if men's half was tainted, there's nothing to say women won't go suddenly mad, too.

It's worth remembering as well here that book Siuan was roughly fifteen when she went to The Tower. Now, I'm totally blind, and audio description doesn't give me an age for tiny show-Siuan, but if she's anywhere near puberty, I'll eat my metaphorical hat. And instead of being shepherded to The Tower, she had to flee for her life.

In her family's only means of support, I might ad. Book Siuan was by no means well-to-do, but she was firmly in the middling ranks of the working poor. Show Siuan's family are on the fucking destitution brink y'all. And she took her father's livelihood. Dying destitute ain’t fuckin pretty.

Siuan is not a stupid kid, and she clearly adores the shit out of her papa. The first thing that little girl did the millisecond she got any privileges? Wrote to her papa.

And more than likely, Berden never wrote back. It wouldn't take her long to figure out what'd happened. Moiraine is at great pains to tell Alana Jenny was not "her" support dog, and we laugh it off as oh, look at Moiraine being all adorably prim. Which in one sense, it totally is. But I'd almost guarantee you there's a deeper layer there: it wasn't "hers"; it was "theirs" because once Siuan found out her beloved papa was dead, they both needed something to cuddle.

This may seem like somewhat of a digression, but I'm maundering on because in the books yes, Dark Friends are evil. But they're evil because they caused a terrible cataclysm many thousands of years ago that killed lots of people, and they wanna do it again. There's no personal skin in the game for our beloved ladies, except they get thrust into the job through a convergence of some very complicated circumstances—I'd recommend any show-only watchers read "New Spring" because while I love almost all the changes the show has made ferociously, the way Siuan and Moiraine undertake the search is vastly more plausible as presented by Jordan there.

For Siuan in the show, by contrast, Dark Friend has _very personal ramifications. Dark Friends caused the corrosive mistrust that got her papa _killed! And Moiraine, better than _anyone, knows how that broke her.

And she _knows full well she could be deposed simply for having a relationship with Moiraine. The sensible thing to keep all the awful people from committing terrible crimes that will reverberate down the centuries to impact a little girl just as she was impacted would be to keep both their noses clean. And yet, she loves Moiraine so much that she'll take that risk to maintain not only an alliance about Rand, but a romantic relationship which could, realistically, be discovered much more easily.

And now, Moiraine, the woman who parroted back her beloved father's words of farewell about how Siuan was as clever as a pike and strong as the tides seemingly willfully lied; seemingly became a _Dark _Friend. Even her admonition that Lanfear is "too strong" must bring up so many awful questions: just how long have they been working together for her to know that? Because from Siuan's perspective, what it looks like is Lanfear coming in, guns blazing, to save her accomplice, Moiraine.

When Siuan says that there are rules and they have to abide by them, it's reflecting profoundly deep fears—not only about what Rand could do, but the kind of hatred toward those with The Power it could foster. For twenty years, she's put those fears aside. And now it appears that her going against Tower Law has lost her Moiraine to the Forsaken, and made terrible outcomes nigh on inevitable. And people are really confused about why she looks beaten?

Hell, from her perspective, forget Lanfear's entrance. The very fact Moiraine seemingly lied to her and is now talking about love must seem such a cruel mockery: laughing at Siuan's weakness; just as, perhaps, she was laughing at her with that parting comment in The Tower: an Amyrlin Seat still so swayed by what her papa told her so many years ago. (Yeah, we know it was as close as she could come to an I love you, but how the hell is Siuan supposed to know that, given everything?) This was not willful emotional abuse on someone she knew to be acting in good faith, but a reaction to the person she loved enough to risk the fucking Amyrlin Seat for becoming a monster!

Do I wish they'd picked _any other direction for their relationship? Yes, yes I damn well do. There was plenty to play with for angst factor by having the coup go down as it does in the books: Moiraine not being there to save her when all Siuan wanted was more time together, for one thing. Moiraine needlessly obfuscating in front of Siuan and  the other Sisters in S1, when Leandrin already knew! about the Two Rivers folk. Thinking she was being canny, when all she did was get herself pointlessly exiled so she couldn't protect Siuan? Quite enough of an angst sandwich, thanks ever so, without this new development. But! if they were going to include this, Siuan reacted precisely as I would expect her to, given the context I've outlined above, not in some madly ooc fashion worthy of the tags descending into emotional abuse discourse.