#and then reading about them Experiencing the horrors of the entertainment industry

[always-a-joyful-note]

Tatsumi in !! Music: Aww, look at these kids. Oh, to be young again Me: My brother in Christ, you are 18

Nagisa and Sakuma in Road to Show: Gotta be adults and let the kids enjoy themselves while we grown ups take care of the work Me: Guys, you haven't even graduated from university

Keito to Kiryu: Gotta take care of our child Souma Me: ????? He's just a grade younger than you both???

Knights seniors: Must protect our adorable king from the horrors of the world Me: HE'S LIKE 3 YEARS YOUNGER THAN THE OLDEST OF YOU AND HIS FAMILY HAS ASSASSINS

Kiryu @ Kanata in the anime: As Ryuseitai's mom, you should help out its dad with the kids Me: "Mom" and "Dad" are still HIGH SCHOOLERS

[spearmintyy]

Introducing myself through five favorite books!

Favorite Classic: Bram Stoker's Dracula

There's so many reasons why this is one of my all time favorites, but the part that really sticks with me is the characters. Each of them were so different from each other (a cowboy, a professor, a doctor, a school teacher, and an aspiring lawyer!) but their friendship still felt so true and genuine. One of my favorite adventure novels, so hopeful and sweet but not afraid to take dark twists. To me, this book is the definition of classic.

Favorite New Book: Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames

I know I'm using "new" loosely (can't believe 2017 was seven years ago...) but at the very least, this book is new to me! I thought this was such a clever take on the fantasy genre, which is my favorite. It kept all the classic aspects of wizards, flying ships, and even owl bears, while reframing them in terms of the modern music industry. I love old and new music, specifically punk and nu wave, so I really enjoyed all the little nods to it. Plus, the storyline of aging heroes reconvening to relive their glory days was just amazing.

Favorite Nonfiction: On Writing by Stephen King

To be totally honest, I'm not usually one for nonfiction. But this book was genuinely a page turner. While it's often touted as a must-read for aspiring writers, I don't actually think that's where this book shines. For me, personally, the most interesting parts were the beginning and end, learning how Stephen King grew up to be such a successful author, and learning about how he overcame the accident he was in and got back into writing afterwards. Also, his prose is just so entertaining I think it'd be hard not to enjoy.

Favorite Graphic Novel: Uzumaki by Junji Ito

I'm a horror lover, and this manga might be the most unique horror media I've ever experienced. Junji Ito really makes the most of the visual medium, and his art is incredible. I wish I could plaster my apartment with these pages, seriously. Beyond that, he finds such creative and fresh topics to explore, I think I left this book with all new fears. Seriously, my terrarium (as seen in the pic) is full of snails, and ever since I read this book I've been scared they'll escape.

Favorite of All Time: American Gods by Neil Gaiman

No book has impacted me so much as American Gods. It'll be hard to keep this short, as I genuinely think I could write a thesis on the complexities and lore of this book. But overall, I'll say I love folklore, and reading this book, I could genuinely believe Neil Gaiman knows more folklore than I could ever hope to learn in my entire life. Every scene and inclusion is so well crafted and thought out; reading this book probably took my twice as long because every chapter I finished made me want to read at least three wikipedia pages. Also, Shadow is one of my favorite protagonists I've ever read. Between his appreciation for the bigfoot magazine cover and constant attempts to entertain kids with coin tricks (which doesn't work out as often as it should!) I absolutely fell in love with him.

Thanks everyone for reading! I plan to use this blog as a space to share reviews of the books I read (as well as share favorite music and movies on occasion). Feel free to send in asks, comments, and questions. Nice to meet you!

[sparklecinnamonbunny]

And if you're still doing asks, please entertain me with some you haven't gotten yet, for which you have some really good answers. Two for Sunday and two for Envy. Can be the same or different. Dealer's choice :3

*Puss in boots voice* For you baby, I could be. Hitting 23 and 39 for Sunday, and 3 and 26 for Envy. These answers get pretty long, so you can find them under the break!

23. Would they prefer reading books or listening to an audiobook? Besides, would they rather read for someone or have someone read for them? Sunday unironically owns and listens to Nathan Explosion Reads Shakespeare. She was disappointed to hear there was a whole session Pickles forgot to record. She usually has her headphones on and an audiobook playing when she files the week's incident reports at American Voice Showdown. That said, her guilty pleasure 'adult romance' novels? Print only.

If she had to share a book with someone, she'd prefer to be the one reading. In the AU where she has Charlene, her child with Skwisgaar, she goes all out for bedtime stories, character voices and all. It sets a quality standard for the CEO, who expects the same out of any babysitters, be they once-in-a-century financial geniuses or *cough* the pride of Denmark.

39. If they could go back in time, how would they reassure their child-self about the future? Sunday's childhood cycled between 'incredible opportunities' and 'devastating horror', so this answer's simple. She'd tell her child-self that she's not crazy, she really is cursed, but that doesn't make her a bad person. She'd reassure herself that it gets better, that she gets away from her family and does wonderful things that they can't take from her.

Yes, it is okay that she likes girls and boys. She'll meet incredible people in every walk of life if she lets herself. And if the church is wrong about her being bad, then they can be wrong about anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. What is something they really like about themselves and what is something you really like about them? Envy prides herself on being levelheaded. She has no problems de-escalating angry patrons and doesn't find it hard to take control of a room. She likes that she can keep her cool even when things take a turn for the worst.

Something I've liked writing for Envy is her warm and nurturing nature. She may be blunt, and she might feel at home in anarchy, but she's a caretaker at heart. Her garden flourishes under her love (and occasional Dead Kennedys singalongs). She treats her employees with a decency and kindness that's unheard of in the hospitality industry. Even the drunks that pass out in (or near) her bar get water and a safe ride home. She's safety for young queers and a haven for kinksters.

26. What would be their ideal romance? Did they find a perfect match already, is it still a work in progress, or have they experienced something out of their expectations? It's not that Envy's unlucky in love; to the contrary, she's had some long, loving relationships. It's that it's hard to pin her down. She's oblivious to flirting unless a lady's laying it on thick. When she gets into a relationship, she finds it hard to make compromises on how much she works, leaving her girlfriends lonely. She works her ass off to run her businesses and keep Club Hedonism's events running.

Her ideal partner would be someone who's just as busy as she is, or someone who wouldn't mind spending time working together. She calls her romantic life a 'work in progress' and frequently claims she'll settle down once whatever project she's doing is finished, but... it hasn't happened yet.

[exelahrsolutions]

How the Hospitality Industry can overcome Unprecedented Recruitment Challenges in 2022! – Exela HR Solutions

The hospitality industry has been one of the worst affected economies since the onset of COVID. What was once brimming with opulent grandeur became crippled with the inability to invite, access, or entertain patrons. Some found solace in transitory business models with slender margins requiring high volumes, such as cloud kitchens and food deliveries. However, not many successfully tapped into these markets as the horror prevailed incessantly. Now that the hospitality industry has opened up in most locations worldwide, hospitality staffing faces another unexpected challenge in recruiting hospitality professionals.

Strange, isn’t it? With so many layoffs and retrenchments, you’d expect hospitality professionals to queue up with high hopes after the lull. But, what we’re witnessing is contradictory to the usual supply and demand laws. HR professionals are busy attempting to excavate skilled talent, but experienced hospitality professionals are either scarce or shying away from returning to the grind. Disconcerting? Sure! So, let's delve deeper to comprehend why it has become such a mighty task to attract hospitality professionals and the ways to combat these recruitment challenges.

The hospitality sector consists of four sub-industries. These are:

1.      Food and Beverage (F&B)

2.      Lodging and Accommodation

3.      Travel and Tourism

4.      Recreation and Events

If you analyze, you’ll realize none of these industries were spared. Thus, hospitality professionals were compelled to re-skill in order to adapt. Unfortunately, limited employment opportunities, a global recession, and volatile markets accompanied by deep-rooted fear cornered these employees into accepting diverse job roles. As a result, former hospitality professionals headed for greener pastures. Although many are hopeful about returning to refill vacant positions, a proportional rise in demand leads to competition among hirers. Hence, intermittent turnovers, market volatility, and cut-throat competition are some of the hospitality recruitment challenges 2022 faces.

Let's break these into points to strategize effective HR solutions that can help this sector cope.

·        Inability to Attract Suitable Candidates

·        Combating Turnover

·        Location-specific Hurdles

·        Lockdown-facilitated Influences

Source link to read more details about Hospitality Recruitment Challenge - https://ehrs.exelatech.in/blog/how-hospitality-industry-can-overcome-unprecedented-recruitment-challenges-2022

While all this holds true, the fact remains that there is much competition in hospitality recruitment at present. But, this fact does not reduce the stress of recruitment. You still have to find a way to resolve this by scouting for proficient staff. Instead of letting this burden weigh you down, it's a whole lot easier, cheaper, and more productive to let recruitment experts handle this task. Yes, RPO service providers are adept at hiring hospitality professionals and bringing them to your doorstep without you having to do much. So let the professionals do what they do best while you concentrate on delighting your patrons.

With streamlined processes and seasoned staff adept at handling the entire recruitment cycle, Exela HR Solutions efficiently manages all your recruitment needs. Whether you seek contractual, part-time, or full-time employees, Exela brings you the most appropriate talent. Exela is a market leader in Business Process Automation. With end-to-end solutions and customized plans available, we take just as much delight in supplying you with the best talent as you do in enchanting your customers! Sample how we cater to your recruitment needs!

Get in touch with our experts today to learn more - https://ehrs.exelatech.in/contact-us

[meloncubedradpops]

Repo! The Corona Opera

For every rotation that Earth has completed around the sun since the dawn of humanity, humans have created art to cope with the realities surrounding our everyday life. We weave stories in songs, movies, plays, books, paintings, and so forth, that help digest the world around us and provide an entertaining escape from the cruelties we endure. Some stories take place in abstract universes or in the future, and we rely on what we know in our present reality to build upon these fantasy societies. My favorite movie, Repo! the Genetic Opera, certainly makes this list. We are currently experiencing perhaps the most surreal year of our collective lives, and with each passing day I argue that we find ourselves closer to the world crafted in Repo. I have seen this movie, at least 20 times. If you haven't watched Repo! the Genetic Opera or you haven't seen it in a while, I recommend giving it a view. The movie is unique in that it falls under three distinct genres: musical, horror, and sci-fi. And while the jury is out on whether our future society is going to go full on gothic aesthetic, I can say that the Repo! movie experience offers a glimpse into a dystopian fascist post-plague world wrapped in unapologetically hilarity with a heaping side of camp. It doesn't offer any spiritual cleansing that our souls collectively need, but it does show us what a new normal could look like if we really go off the rails.

As things stand, right now, so much of our daily lives and culture are impacted by the coronavirus. All of our institutions have been impacted, from school, to work, to family, to the way we interact with strangers, and especially our economy. We have all felt the effects in one way or another, and honestly? Most the impacts are of our own undoing, for better or for worse. I am going to write three pieces analyzing Repo! the Genetic Opera. First I will create the foundations that bridge our contemporary life and the world of Repo! Second I will explain how the Repo! universe operates under the definitions of fascism. And third I will weave together parts one and two into our contemporary world (particularly in the context of the United States) to highlight the dark path we heading towards. My viewpoints are of mine, and my own alone. Let's dive into part one.

Part I Repo! the Genetic Opera takes place in the year 2056. Humanity was on the brink of collapse as a result of a medical crisis that caused massive organ failure.

I never gave the premise much thought, at least not until recently. We aren't given much detail beyond the fact that entrepreneur Rottissimo "Rotti" Largo solved this crisis through his company GeneCo. GeneCo provides organ transplants that can be repaid through a payment plan. Witnessing the coronavirus unfold in real time and seeing its wrath, particularly on severe cases, honestly makes me wonder if the writers had some sort of "super plague" in mind when creating this universe. For the purpose of this analysis, I will assume that humanity suffered at least one infectious disease crisis. And just to reiterate covid-19 particularly, we really *don't* know what it's going to do to us long-term. Let the parallels begin. 

The world in Repo! the Genetic Opera, operates as normally as the citizens possibly can, which appears to be quite limited. I have noted how dated some the technologies look.

For a world 30 years in the future, it lacks cell phones and easy access to internet. When we enter Shilo's world (aka her bedroom!) she watched Blind Mag sing on a busted up tiny ass TV and the program itself looks like an ad on Home Shopping Network.

The Graverobber is shown reading headlines on a newspaper. The news reporters shown in the ribbon cutting ceremony during the 1st Italian Post-Plague Renaissance have old school cameras with flashbulbs.

The most contemporary technology appears to be a Wish.com version of an Apple watch, and even that looks like a leftover prop from Spy Kids.

Obviously the people who made this movie intentionally inserted these anachronisms, but why? This is a science fiction movie after all. I speculate that they reverted back because the impact from humanity's crisis resulted in an overall professional "brain drain" from the sheer volume of professionals that dropped dead. In fact every scene depicting medical procedures looks dimly lit and lacking in sanitation. We will see this as we struggle to contain the coronavirus, at least in America. Healthcare workers have already died from this thing, and I am sure many prospective college students will have second thoughts about a career in healthcare. I mean hell, look at no other than GeneCo itself. That company employs workers called "Genterns" who are most definitely not in full PPE. I don't doubt their medical expertise, but they appear to be disposable (please see: that time Luigi killed one for NO REASON in "Mark it Up").

On that note, it really was quite incredible how China built the pop-up hospital in Wuhan in under 4 days, but it was also not the most safe or structurally sound building by far (it collapsed, people were hurt!). Maybe at this point, the people in Repo! don't have much of a choice. I am sure there were likely legit hospitals, but the fact that the Renaissance had gross surgery tents is a bit unsettling.

This is a world that is completely built upon the social more of valuing your health above all else. There had to be a turning point in the GeneCo business model where they really played on up-selling organs for the benefit of "genetic perfection". "I needed a kidney transplant desperately. GeneCo showed this single mom sympathy. This makeover came for a small added fee. Now I look smashing on live TV!" Imagine signing the documents for your power of attorney while actively going into renal failure, when your doctor chimes in with an up-sell for breast implants. When all is said an done, your body is now not only functioning again, but you're hot! Even in a post-plague dystopia we are still holding value to having a nice rack. What's not to love about GeneCo? Obviously we know right away that GeneCo has a dirty side. Rotti Largo personally lobbied to make organ repossessions legal, and he does not hesitate to recollect his property. The concept itself is, of course, wild. In America, our healthcare system is incredibly broken and expensive.  You would wonder how it could get worse without us backpedaling many steps on the industrialization timeline. And in a lot of ways, I could see a company like GeneCo thrive here. We already hate the poor, and we have political think tanks that salivate over the idea of cutting social programs that keep people alive. Our president has wanted to repeal the Affordable Care Act while many people are unemployed during a pandemic. In Repo! we hear about those who don't pay, but obviously there are plenty of people who do. Those who can will happily pay, either for vanity reasons or to stay alive.

And while society cites Rotti as being a "hero" for humanity, we see more and more evidence that the crisis is both not under control and life is cheap.

His son murders multiple people, in front of others, with seemingly no repercussions. In the scene where Shilo meets the Graverobber for the first time, adjacent to the graveyard and tombs owned by wealthy families who could afford grave markers, lies a poorly constructed wall hiding thousands of corpses piled on top of one another. We even get a glimpse of a truckload pouring more onto the pile. I would not be surprised if there is a disinformation campaign there keeping the public in the dark (although you'd think the smell would be unbearable at this point).

There are multiple indications that propaganda works in society (still), and no one is getting the full picture of how much of a raw deal the people in Repo! have. We see poster after poster about GeneCo, in the literal absence of other corporations. 

And a lot of them bear resemblance to 20th century Russian propaganda. It would be a real shame if the goals outlined The Foundations of Geopolitics: The Geopolitical Future of Russia were actually realized. Imagine going to visit your mother's grave and hearing commercials for hardcore analgesics play through the cemetery. Also, there's a police presence too. Apparently the police are called Genecops and have authority to execute any assumed graverobbers on site.

Imagine the hellscape it would be to live in a world where your loved ones may have died from a terrible pandemic, and you face a non-zero chance of an over zealous cop murdering you thereafter, and because their qualified immunity bypasses the judicial system entirely...oh wait. Anyways let's circle back to the Graverobber character.

Graverobber's role in Repo! appears to be minor on the surface. Rotti's daughter, Amber Sweet, appears to almost despise her relationship with him. And that relationship involves him supplying Amber with what he describes as the "21st Century cure". This cure you ask? A super effective painkiller with the clinical use to accompany GeneCo surgeries. This drug is called Zydrate, and it has a street version that he acquires and sells, with clients including Amber Sweet.

Graverobber makes his living sucking the glowy blue brain corpse goo and injecting them into people on the streets. Yum!

Not everyone who needs an organ transplant can pay for it all upfront. Luckily for them, GeneCo provides payment plan options! The caveat to this is if you fail to make those payments, legally GeneCo can come and repossess your newly acquired organs. If you find yourself past due, you will soon see the last face before your doom, the Repo Man. He will harvest GeneCo's property, and it won't matter where you are or what you are doing. There is no anesthetic, and you will likely die! This was all made legal through Rotti's lobbying efforts.

Society, as it's set up today, allows for property repossessions. This can be as straightforward as a repossession of your vehicle to as heartbreaking as a foreclosure on your home. At the end of the day, the impacts of that are difficult and life changing. Currently millions of people in America are out of work, and the threat of losing everything is at stake for many. We could lose our homes, our vehicles, and our sense of purpose. And while many government bodies have created temporary moratoriums, they have not provided any substantial financial relief to keep the proverbial repo man at bay. What went wrong in this dystopia to normalize the concept of death due to nonpayment? Fascism! Ah yes, the dreaded f-word. In my next essay, I will outline the 14 characteristics of fascism and how it relates to the universe in Repo! After I will relate that to our modern world so that we can try and stop this from becoming our reality.

[thedeaditeslayer]

Exclusive interview: Bruce Campbell is having a renaissance.

Here’s a highly recommended interview which discusses what Bruce Campbell has in store for fans in the future.

Bruce Campbell is experiencing a creative renaissance, of sorts. In a recent chat with the actor, he discussed a return to his horror roots, cutting a comedy album with Ted Raimi and so much more.

Bruce Campbell hasn’t been idle during his time in self-isolation. The actor has been experiencing a creative renaissance of sorts. So, we figured now would be a perfect time to reach out and get some of our burning questions answered.

With so much uncertainty in the entertainment industry at present, rumors are running rampant. We gave Campbell a chance to clear the air so to speak and address some of the myriad of questions that fans have regarding Mortal Kombat 11, the latest Evil Dead incarnation, Ripley’s and whether or not he will work with Sam Raimi in front of the camera again.

The actor also surprised us with some monumental news. He will be returning to his horror roots with the sequel to My Name Is Bruce as well as several other projects that he has on his docket including a comedy album with one of his closest friends.

Get comfy, grab your favorite beverage and let’s catch up with Bruce Campbell.

Mortal Kombat 11, Ripley’s and the State of the Industry

1428 Elm: Thanks for speaking with us, Bruce. It’s always a pleasure. We have so many things to discuss. Recently, a site came out and said that you were definitely going to be Ash in Mortal Kombat 11. It seemed like a done deal the way it was reported. Can you comment on that?

Bruce Campbell: I probably shouldn’t emphasize yes or no because I don’t know. I have not been told. If it is not through my agent or proper channels than it usually means its wishful thinking.

1428 Elm: Apparently, an email from Warner Brothers Interactive was sent to a well-known entertainment site and Ash as well as Army of Darkness was mentioned in it with the trademark from MGM.

BC: The reason why it may not happen, just so you and the readers can know this, a lot of time for legal purposes, that character cannot appear in other things because of the license. If you can’t make a deal, that character is not going to show up. So, we may have been talked to about it.

But I do know with MGM that handles the Army of Darkness licensing that they’re hasn’t been a discussion with them about it. They’re pretty touchy. We have to be careful of ownership.

I honestly don’t know. I think I would have heard something. It’s not like my agent books me without consulting with me.

Even if Mortal Kombat came to me and said they want to put me in it, you still have to make a deal. If my agent says, “Bruce Campbell wants a hundred billion dollars,” and then they say no, the deal is dead.

The answer is we don’t know. No point in beating around about that.

1428 Elm: You might not be able to discuss this but what’s going on with Ripley’s Believe It or Not!? Will there be a Season 2?

BC: We’re one and done. It’s not your father’s Travel Channel anymore. If I wanted to host a ghost hunting show, I’d be on the air right now.

Ripley’s was made for the older school Travel Channel like Drive-Ins and Dive Bars where you go to wacky places around the country. There is a big push for paranormal, mystery and science-fiction, Discovery type stuff. I think we just “out aged” ourselves.

1428 Elm: It would have been nice if the Science Channel would have picked it up.

BC: It’s all good. I remain philosophical about all shows that come and go. There are so many factors involved. You change executives and things change, companies get bought and sold and things change, ratings aren’t what you expected…

After this virus, we’re going to see what shape the motion picture industry is in. It’s going to be a wounded beast. Projects are going to go away.

You’re going to have fewer tentpole movies too. I am hopeful we’ll have a return to low budget filmmaking.

That’s what I hope comes out of it. Each studio will start a low budget division and spend the money wisely.

Number One on the Charts with a Bullet

BC (Cont.): In the meantime, what is nice, I’m finishing up a couple of projects. I’m hoping by the end of the year to put a book of essays out and a comedy album with Ted Raimi.

1428 Elm: A comedy album?

BC: Yeah, we finished it. I’m in post-production on it. I’m putting all the sound effects in now.

1428 Elm: That sounds great!

BC: Who knows? We’ve never done one before so we’re going to find out.

1428 Elm: So, you guys are harkening back to the 1960’s when comedians like Bob Newhart had hit albums?

BC: It’s our version of that. I used to listen to the top comedy albums during the 60’s and 70’s. I wouldn’t dare compare myself to any of the masters like Mel Brooks and the 2,000-Year-Old Man with Carl Reiner. We gave it a shot. I love audio and I like radio plays.

Bruce Campbell vs the Classic Monsters

1428 Elm: So, tell us what is going on with your political satire, House Divided. Are you still working on pitching that once everything gets back to business as usual?

BC: It will be on the sales block. It’s a harder sell. There’s no blood. It’s not a horror movie, it’s a political satire. Associating Bruce Campbell with political satire isn’t the first thing investors whip out their checkbooks for.

To combat that, I just finished writing a sequel to My Name Is Bruce. The idea is we want to take Bruce and have him go through each of the classic film monsters. The sequel is Bruce vs Frankenstein.

We’re done. I finished my draft and sent it to Mike Richardson, my partner at Dark Horse Comics. We’re actively looking for money on that one. It is the Expendables of Horror. I fully intend to load the cast with so many familiar horror faces. It should be a lot of fun.

It would be a cavalcade of genre stars, old, young, on TV now. We really want to cover the bases. A lot of people will be getting killed. Guest star kills. Basically, Bruce bumbles his way into being a hero.

1428 Elm: Will you have to go through Universal to get permission to use the classic monsters?

BC: Some stuff is public domain. I’m not a lawyer but we would figure out a way to do this.

I think the bolts on Frankenstein’s neck are trademarked, as well as certain looks. But you can make a Frankenstein. That story is under public domain.

It’s also a parody of a Frankenstein movie and that gives a lot of leeway legally as well. I don’t think you can say, “Wolfman,” but I think you can say Bruce vs the Werewolf. This is my version of the Bob Hope road movies.

Ted has two parts; I have two parts for Robert Englund and I have a couple of parts for Kane Hodder. If they’re a name, I am going to put them in it.

After we come out of the zombie apocalypse that we’re in and everyone gets back to work, that is what I will be actively pitching. There’s plenty going on. So, I have been self-isolating in a constructive way.

It’s an Evil Dead World

1428 Elm: We’re curious about the 1970’s period piece that you were working on when we talked to you last year. What happened with that?

BC: It’s currently on my action board. I will eventually get to it. I am going to finish my book of essays first and then I am going to get to that one.

The story is set in 1979. The idea behind it is what would have happened if us raising money for Evil Dead went horribly, horribly wrong. It becomes a horror movie in and of itself.

1428 Elm: How did this idea come to fruition?

BC: I was going through projects in my computer. People who have a lot of downtime do spring cleaning. Clean out your woodshed, toolshed when you have extra time. In this case, I went to the head of my projects folder.

This one popped up and it was just an outline that I had written 15 years ago. I thought, wait a minute, this is pretty well thought out.

In the 70’s, filmmaking was real, you didn’t have a lot of options. You had to get cameras from a certain place, you had to have insurance. There were a lot of steps that you had to take that made the process really difficult.

I remember making calls for money from payphones in blizzards and s*** like that. You had to leave messages, you’re getting busy signals, you’re not texting anyone. There are no computers, there’s no email, its old school. You sent things in the mail.

Today, filmmaking is not difficult. I can go to a store and buy a 4K camera. I can make a movie with $5,000 worth of equipment. Probably less.

1428 Elm: Well, you can do it on your phone too. Sam Raimi is on Quibi now with 50 States of Fright, which is entertainment tailored to your device. If his series continues once everything settles, do you think there’s a chance you might appear on the show?

BC: Never say never, that’s all verbally at this point. They have to succeed; they have to survive. Any new format, any new platform, I’m game and if Sam’s involved all the more reason.

1428 Elm: Have you ever thought of doing anything like Quibi?

BC: Not yet. I’m used to writing 90-page screenplays with a three-act format. I can adapt anything too.

I was thinking the other day, I have a few screenplays that might be tough sells but maybe I might convert them to a fricking novel and put them out as books. There’s lots to do. I’ve got plenty going on.

1428 Elm: Has the current situation affected the new Evil Dead? We remember that you talked about possibly going into production at the end of this year. Is that pushed back like everything else?

BC: No, not really. It was so early in the stages that we can keep going. I just read the first official draft today. So, then we’ll give notes and additional writing will take place.

Then you have to budget the thing so you know how much money you need to raise and then you have to get the money. Nothing will stop any of that.

You can make calls for money, you can send the script to people, you can do budgets. The only thing that will be affected will be the actual start date. Which we didn’t know anyway. We may end up not being delayed at all.

Many thanks to Bruce Campbell for chatting with us.

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Brooke Lewis Bellas

Brooke Lewis Bellas can currently be seen in the film The Mourning. She also brought her talent to the role of Pam Deluca in the comedy ½ New Year, about a tight-knit group of friends letting loose at their annual Half New Year Party. Brooke is a veteran of the horror genre and is returning to those roots with a role in the upcoming zombie film set in 1950’s Hollywood, The Day of The Living Dead. Her other film credits include the critically-acclaimed films Psycho Therapy, iMurders, and Sinatra Club, opposite Danny Nucci. Brooke’s TV credits include Fox’s Quintuplets. She will next be seen in the steaming series Red Rooms, which she also produced. Alongside her acting work, Brooke is a life coach and author of Coaching From A Professed Hot Mess, is a Celebrity Ambassador for the Breaking The Chains Foundation, participates in LA Mission Feed The Homeless, and is a staunch LGBTQ and AIDS Activist.

You have worked extensively in the horror genre—what is it that draws you to that particular genre?

I have always embraced my inner detective and have loved solving mysteries. No wonder I have been a huge fan of Alfred Hitchcock and Brian De Palma most of my life! I was also obsessed with vampires as a young girl and loved the ‘80s horror films when I was growing up. I have always been drawn to the darkness, unknown, mystery and escapism that horror offers. I also love how the horror genre embraces women of all body types (and curves) and offers strong roles for women!

If you could, is there anything that you would want to change about the horror genre?

If I could change anything about the horror genre, it would be the mainstream and public perception. Horror is often perceived as B-movie quality, evil, cultish, or less respectful than comedy or other genres, and that can be a false perception. There are many mainstream movies that we have all loved throughout the history of cinema and these are the type of horror genre films that I grew up watching. I have never been a fan of gratuitous horror and I could reference my favorites, from Alfred Hitchcock to Agatha Christie to Stephen King to Brian De Palma to the current thrillers and mainstream entertainment brought to us by Blumhouse or Jordan Peele, that are timeless. I wish people would understand how smart some of these screenplays are, the subtext of the stories being told. I wish the judgment and stigma of a lot of horror would be removed.

What would you say makes for a good scene partner?

I have been fortunate to act opposite some veteran greats and brilliantly talented actors, and I would, humbly, say that the most important components that make for a good scene partner are generosity, vulnerability, and openness—a partnership in which we listen and support each other. I have worked for over 20 years as an actress in this crazy industry, and there is little I have not experienced. I cannot say that working opposite the most “talented” or trained actors have necessarily been the best scene partner experiences for me. But working opposite generous actors who give and who support you, as you do for them, and you become like a well-oiled machine where the parts work better together...those actors who want you to succeed, who want to bring out the best in you, and you and them, a give and take—that is when movie magic is created!

1/2 New Year is a comedy, so can you tell us what drew you to the project? Can you tell us a little bit about the role of Pam?

½ New Year is an indie film with heart about a group of young people in their 20s who come to Hollywood, not necessarily for the entertainment industry but to live the life…live their best life…live their dreams…live that excitement that we all grow up seeing in movies, and yet, it is not always that simple. And, it is not always that glamorous or fun. We see how these relationships and people are glued together. I think the tagline sums it up best: "Friends are the family you get to choose." So, it is about a group of friends that go through the ups and downs of young life in Hollywood, and they learn that all you really have is love and friendship. I play Pam DeLuca, the big sister of Reed DeLuca (Drew McAnany). The film displays how sometimes we have family out here that is far away from our biological family, and it is what we go through, and the support we need to get from the worst of times to the best of times. It is very 80’s throwback and I think that's what I love so much about it. I met our star, writer, and producer, Drew McAnany, in Hollywood over ten years ago. Drew originally started out hosting in LA, and he was working at E! Entertainment when he interviewed me on the red carpet. He asked me about Philly, and we quickly bonded during that meeting, so he really became like a little brother to me. Like so many young actors in Hollywood, Drew was fighting to get a break for himself as an actor, so he created ½ New Year as a vehicle for himself to star in. He also wrote the role of his big sister, Pam DeLuca (from Philly), for me to act in. We had worked through a few years of table reads and different directors and producers, then Georgia Menides jumped on board, did the re-write on the script, then became the producer who made it happen. Along with producer Zach Block, they hired Tom Morash as our director to creatively guide this project.

I am honored and grateful to have had Pam DeLuca written specifically for me. I think that is something every actor and actress wants in their career. Pam is in her 30’s, and a bit older than her brother Reed and his friends. They are Italian from South Philly, so they argue, but are very close. Pam is part of the gang, but she is like the "mother hen" to them. Her journey is about protecting her brother and giving guiding advice to the girls they hang out with, including the gorgeous leads, played by Bo Youngblood, Shanley Caswell, and Rebecca Vinagro. She also likes to have flings with Reed's young, handsome buddies, including Marty (played by Jermain Alverez Martin). Pam is an on-screen example of what we go through in "Hollywood life”: She is single and all about her career, she loves to party and doesn't want to grow up! The film released in the USA on all TV On Demand and has just been released on Amazon Prime and Tubi TV.

What’s the funniest/weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you on a film?

Oh, I have had many! I truly feel that being an actor and producer in the independent film world involves a whole other level of funny and weird experiences! When you do not have big budgets to deal with, you have to get creative in other ways. So, one funny story that I would love to share was my experience of being one of the producers on a film titled Sinatra Club, that I was fortunate to get to act in, opposite Danny Nucci from Titanic, Jason Gedrick from Iron Eagle, Ellen Hollman from Spartacus, Michael Nouri from Flashdance, and the list goes on and on, with an incredible cast of talent we assembled. And, what was so cool was I found the script in 2004, we filmed in 2009, and it was distributed in 2011, so it was a very long and challenging development period for an indie project, but one of the wildest memories I have was the fact that the story is based on a true story about the night John Gotti became John Gotti, so for all of the mobster history and movie buffs who are reading this, I was so fortunate to be a part of history in the making with this film. This film is based on Sal ‘Ubatz’ Polisi who went into the witness protection program for releasing information on John Gotti and his crew, and when he came out of the witness protection he wrote the story of his life in the Mafia. It was so wild to work on a project for so many years where we would literally meet at 10 o’clock, 11 o’clock, 12 o’clock at night in privacy and secrecy at the Sportsmen’s Lodge in Studio City, California, in hotel suites and we would hold our production meetings there!

You actively support many varied causes, how did you get involved in activism?

I was born with a philanthropist's heart and have always been a supporter of giving back in whatever way we can. I was spearheading events in college to run around Philadelphia and feed the homeless with my sorority sisters. Now, I am so grateful to have whatever little “celebrity” status or recognition I have that can help make a difference. I feel blessed and responsible to give back through my artistic endeavors and through my work. I am a believer in activism and I typically work with numerous charities at a time. I am a celebrity ambassador for the Breaking the Chains Foundation that cultivates healing through art for those who have experienced eating disorders, self-esteem issues, and body image issues. I am active in charity work with the Los Angeles Mission on Skid Row and helping to feed the homeless. I have been active in several Breast Cancer charities and events, as I have lost people whom I loved to breast cancer over the years. I have also been active in quite a few charities and philanthropies to support AIDS research. I authored and have donated my book, titled Ms. Vampy’s Teen Tawk: There’s A Lotta Power In Ya Choices, to support teen girls. And, in giving back to the world, I find that it brings so much fulfillment and gratitude to my own heart.

What does your allyship mean to you?

My allyship means everything to me, both personally and professionally. My empathic heart has always been wired to help others. I do not perceive myself as a person with power or fame, but I am incredibly grateful that I have been afforded the opportunities throughout my career to give back, to take a stand, and to help those who have been marginalized in some way. I am a proud philanthropist and activist, and I feel it is my duty to serve. Throughout my life, I have often felt misunderstood or that I did not belong, and I have dealt with my own challenges and struggles, so I am known to “fight for the underdog” and support those in need.

You are a certified life coach, what’s the best advice you have ever received, and, in your opinion, the best advice you’ve ever given to somebody?

As an actress and life coach, I am a huge proponent of having a strong support system of professionals in my stable. I feel that all creatives and health professionals should have their own support system and professionals to turn to. At the end of the day, I have received such incredible advice from my professionals—my life coach of many years, Lori Bertazzon, and my actress empowerment coach, Michelle Colt. One of my favorite pieces of advice that Lori Bertazzon has given me occurred a few years back when she supported me in creating my own set of personal commandments at the beginning of the year. These are commandments that I consistently refer back to, that help to empower me and help to create breakthroughs when I am having breakdowns in my life or career. Michelle Colt has also given me unbelievable advice and support in her workshops to strengthen my soul as an actress, and I have to reference a recent funny one because I love it so, and she knows me so well: our mantra, “No more shenanigans!”. It is something that I hold near and dear to my heart daily. 

Humbly, I think the best advice I have given over the years was born from my Ms. Vampy web series for teen girls, where I created a catchphrase that I cherish: “When faced with fear, dig deep inside, find your inner Vamp, and… Vamp It Out!”. To this day, my now-adult cast will send me messages that they used this catchphrase. I use it as an adult (you do not have to be a teenage girl to appreciate it) and when I am fearful or trying to have a breakthrough, I dig deep inside and I Vamp It Out! My other favorite catchphrase advice was so powerful for me, I actually named my life coaching business after it: “Be You… And, Be Fearless!” 

Has your training as a life coach ever helped you to prepare for a role/project? How?

I really love this question, because one may think that different careers or skill sets cannot help the other, but I have found that my training as a board-certified life coach has helped me tremendously to prepare for a role or project in a few ways. First, I am now very mindful and aware of the “mind chatter” and I am more able to catch myself in it. When I enter a space of fear or anxiety, I am able to coach myself off the ledge. Even more compelling, is that when I went to school at the Life Purpose Institute to become a board-certified life coach, I learned early on that a very important component of life coaching is “listening without an agenda”. This has helped me exponentially as an actress, because when you are acting and you're truly in the moment, you need to be listening without an agenda, as well. A true response should come from your instincts and that is so wild to me because now I am able to catch myself when I am preparing for a project and I am anticipating what the character will say to me next, and I can catch myself listening with an agenda of what they will say, and I know that I'm not in the moment as an actress.

How can mental well-being and self-care help to sustain activism/advocacy/allyship?

I cannot stress enough how strongly I believe that mental well-being and self-care can help to sustain activism/advocacy/allyship and our own personal strength—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I actually speak about this in my book Coaching From A Professed Hot Mess: “When you give to yourself and allow yourself to replenish, you have so much more to give to others and will feel so much stronger inside.” I am still working on this, diligently, but when we learn to take care of ourselves and focus on our mental, spiritual, and emotional strength, we understand what it means to feel and give from our hearts. We become inspired to give back and to support people, causes, and have a passion, purpose, and mission, outside of ourselves.

What can you tell us about your latest projects The Second Age of Aquarius, Stripped, The Mourning, and Red Rooms?

At a time when the world is upside down and we do not really know where our next jobs will come from, I feel very blessed that I had acted in, and produced, a few projects that wrapped prior to COVID-19. My Psycho Therapy (Amazon Prime) film director, Staci Layne Wilson, wrote a film with Darren Gordon Smith (Repo! The Genetic Opera). Those two are so crazy talented. It is a fun indie gem. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but it’s The Second Age of Aquarius. It is a comedy, with a little bit of a Sci-Fi twist and a lot of music. It’s really sweet and clever. I’m an Executive Producer and I act in it. I play Tawny Stevens. She’s a young mom, stuck in the eighties, as an eighties, New Jersey, rocker mom. Wait until you see my hair, my make-up, and my leopard pants. I did the Jersey accent. I can’t wait for the film to come out! We also wrapped a TV pilot Stripped. It is a Comedy/Drama. It is a TV pilot that was written and directed by Marc Clebanoff, who also directed the film The Mourning, which stars Michael Walton, Louis Mandylor, Dominique Swain, and Larry Hankin. I was both an actress and a co-producer. The Mourning is a cool Sci-Fi/Love Story that just released on the new Tubi TV streaming channel. Stripped was a passion project. I was also one of the producers with Marc and Frank Krueger (also stars in it). I played Jules, the publicist to the star, Chris Cameron, played by Casper Van Dien. It was created by Mark Clebanoff and late actor, Kristoff St. John. They had created the concept before he passed on, which is such a sad situation, but Marc wanted to carry on his legacy, and he did, and we did. It is such an incredible cast, and series, we are all proud of. Lastly, at the start of COVID-19, my creative instinct kicked in and I knew I had to create to stay somewhat “sane”, so I spent most of the quarantine producing and filming a virtual streaming series. Red Rooms was conceived and completed out of “isolation inspiration”! Joshua Butler and I had been in development on a project and had been reminiscing about our favorite industry days of yesteryear when we met on the horror film circuit. I had already been a superfan of Joshua’s work for years. In 2019, we shot a proof of concept for our project, which paid homage to his hugely successful film VLOG (2008) from the producers of SAW, which went on to become a hit TV series. When COVID-19 hit Hollywood and we were all in isolation, I called for a production meeting, then suggested we use the footage we shot and attempt to experiment by filming each character virtually from their homes. Red Rooms stars horror film and TV veterans Brooke Lewis Bellas (iMurders), David Alpay (The Vampire Diaries), Suze Lanier-Bramlett (The Hills Have Eyes), Ricky Dean Logan (Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare), and Noah Blake (Teen Witch). We are currently working on post-production and cannot wait to see where we end up!

Thanks for taking the time, Brooke! 

Photographer: Birdie Thompson | Hair and Makeup: Allison Noelle

[suspiriu-m]

About Me

Hello! My name is Sal and welcome to my blog, Suspirium! Suspirium is a word that originates from one of my favorite movies, Luca Guadagnino’s 2019 remake of Dario Argento’s classic italian horror movie Suspiria. According to World of Dictionary, Suspirium is a Latin word meaning “Deep breath, sigh”. It’s also the title of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack to the movie produced by Thom Yorke of Radiohead. I’m a huge horror movie buff so expect to see a lot of that sort of content on my blog if I can incorporate it into any of my work. I chose this as the title of my blog because of how well the word fits into the movie, and I just love the way it sounds. Anybody who’s watched the movie will understand, but I won’t go into detail as to not spoil it for anybody who hasn’t yet seen it.

Throughout my highschool years I technically went to two schools. My main and home school was Middletown High School, and my secondary school was Orange Ulster Boces in Florida New York. In high school I was always in media production and art classes. For example, photography, video editing, drawing & painting classes and my favorite was an Elements of Horror class I took my senior year. Horror being my favorite genre, I absolutely had to take a class that’s dove into the origins of classic horror novels, films and short stories. Leading to me finding my favorite classic horror story Dracula by Bram Stoker, and a multitude of stories by H.P. Lovecraft. Continuing on now to college i’m now majoring in Media Production while also still taking some classes in Marketing and Design! I really enjoy both a lot so it’s hard to kind of pick exactly which I want to do, but it’s nice knowing that no matter what path I finally choose I'll still have some experience in the other!

Aside from my education, I love to watch horror movies and read stories in my own free time. Movies in general are a huge hobby of mine and I watch at least 3-4 a week given I have the time. Some of my favaroties of all time concerning classics have got to be the Halloween series, The Evil Dead series and all four of the Scream movies. Other hobbies of mine that take up a huge part of my life and time are video games and music. I have a pretty big record collection that’s continuously growing with at least 80-90 albums and counting. I just recently purchased a few more to add being Sade’s Diamond Life, Whitney Houston’s Whitney and Whitney Houston albums, Lazaretto by Jack White, Texas Sun by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges and Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams. Hopefully my next additions will be What’s Your Pleasure? by Jessie Ware and The Baby by Samia. I’ve been collecting them for years, but especially now since even CD’s are starting to go out of style. I’m the kind of person who still likes to have physical copies of all my music and movies and games so having such big collection is super special to me.

In terms of video games, I try and play as wide of a variety that I can because I believe I can find something I like in any genre. Strategy, shooters, brawlers, online competitive games etc, but I think my favorite style of game is single-player, narrative driven experiences. Most recently I played The Last of Us Part II and was absolutely enthralled with it. I loved the first game so much so getting a sequel was something I was extremely grateful for. I don’t think video games get enough credit for what they do for storytelling. TLOU 1 and 2 are some of my favorite stories that I have experienced in any form of media. The heartbreak, pain, love, fear and excitement those games have succeeded in giving me while just sitting in front of my TV is something no other form of entertainment has brought me. Some of the most touching moments, but also the most excruciating. They also had a queer women front and center throughout the games which is something that isn’t very common in video games so seeing that was really nice to me. Other than The Last of Us, some other solid narrative driven games I’ve played are God of War, Uncharted 1-4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, The Tomb Raider Reboots, Ghost of Tsushima, the Batman Arkham series and Control.

Although story based games are my favorites that doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in my heart for some good old fashioned fun as well! I also really enjoy a lot of the Super Mario and Legend of Zelda games as well. My biggest pet peeve that I have with the gaming industry right now though is Fortnite. I think it’s literally the most annoying game ever created. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just to buy skins and weapon packs and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. The fact that I work at a major video game retailer and constantly have kids running through my store screaming about the damn game at least once a day could also contribute to my hatred. Either way, I want no part and absolutely nothing to do with it.

Going back to queer representation though. I recently watched Pose over the summer. Not only was the show heavily based during the AIDS epidemic in New York City, almost the entirety of the main cast was comprised of Transgender Black women. On prime time television! This is the first show to ever achieve such a feat. Not only was the cast extremely talented, I thought the writing and production of the show as a whole was brilliant. It definitely has its flaws and I could point out a few of them, but I believe all of the good of the show far outweighs the bad. It’s not afraid to tackle extremely real and difficult subjects the Transgender and Black communities have faced in this country and all over the world. It’s so important to see content like this on television as well because EVERYBODY deserves representation. Not only was the cast Trans, but one of the lead writers of the series Janet Mock is also a Black Trans woman! Pose was filled with heartfelt moments that truly had me sobbing in my bed as I watched. I think I actually cried at pretty much every single episode for both seasons. The cast is brilliant, the realism and talent and star power they bring to the show is like nothing that I’ve ever seen before and I’m so glad to be able to see them up on my television. I so badly one day hope that I can be behind the scenes of producing a show of this caliber some day.

While I have yet to help in the production of a show like this, I have had my fair share of of making short films, music videos and even assisting on a friend of mine’s first full length movie that he submitted to festivals. Last year, I had the opportunity to shoot a short horror film with my classmates for our final project. The film was based around a young woman getting trapped at her school in the middle of a blizzard, and slowly beginning to realize that she may not be alone. In a fight for her life, she has to survive till morning while going up against a mysterious killer who lurks the halls of her small town college. Sadly, we didn’t have enough time to produce a full and finalized cut of the film but coming together and working with a few other classmates was still a really fun experience. Not only was I able to play the role of the killer, I aided in audio, music selection, location scouting, props department, shot planning and writing the movie and it was a great time. I also had the pleasure of helping out my friend Matt Vincini in shooting his short film The Cattle Farmer. A horror/thriller film about a boy who is adopted into a family, only to realize that his life might have been planned from the start. It featured a mysterious woodland family who may or may not have had cannibalistic tendencies that included their adopted children. It was a super cool experience to be on a set with a bunch of actors and seeing my friend in action in the role of director. Collaborating on projects like this with friends is always a fun time, even it does get stressful at some points. At one point in the film, one of the characters realizes that the dinner he is currently eating could quite possible be his last meal ever. Which kinda let me to thinking what my last meal would be. After some thinking, I think i’d definitely have to choose my families homemade pasta and meatballs. I know, pretty stereotypical for an Italian family but it’s just so good. We make our own sauce every september and it’s a huge family event. Everybody comes together and one of our houses and it’s literally a whole days worth of work. The best part? At the end of the night, we all have a huge feast and make pasta and meatballs with all of the sauce we just made. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my family and always one of my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious, but also sentimental.

This is all for now! Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading a little bit about me. I could probably keep rambling on for hours but I don’t think that’s the smartest idea. I can’t wait to fill this blog with more content this year and hope to hear from you guys as well! Until then, i’ll be watching more movies and DEFINITELY playing some more games. At this point i’ve been playing the new Marvel’s Avengers video game so, let me get back to kicking some AIM ass!

[mint-yooxgi]

Not An Act - Yandere!Actor!Seokjin X Reader

Yandere!AU - Part of the Yandere!BTS X Reader Series

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Smut

Pairing: Seokjin X Reader

Words: 13,037

Warning: This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: It’s here! Honestly, I think this is one of the most tame yandere stories I've ever written, but I'll let you guys decide that for yourself. I do really hope you all like this one, and my apologies for it taking so long! As always, I do not believe Seokjin, nor any member of BTS would act like this. This is just my interpretation of the archetype. Feedback is greatly appreciated, enjoy lovelies!

“Jin, Jin, Jin, Jin, Jin!” Jaehwan’s frantic voice is heard as he speeds down the halls of the studio, looking for his best friend.

“What, what, what, what, what?” Jin rolls his eyes from his spot on his couch as Jaehwan enters his dressing room.

“Have you heard the news?” Jaehwan seems to be bouncing on the balls of his feet as he grins at Jin.

“Heard what?” Jin raises a brow at his overexcited friend.

“Guess who’s just been cast as your love interest in your new series,” Jaehwan looks at him expectantly.

“I don’t know-“

“(Y/n) (L/n),” the grin on Jaehwan’s face grows as he watches the expression on his friends’ face.

“You’re shitting me,” Jin blinks, not believing what he’s just been told.

“Do you think I would joke about something like this?” Jaehwan raises an eyebrow.

“Oh my god, you’re serious. You’re serious, right?” Jin stands up from the couch, gripping Jaehwan’s arms tightly in his hands as he stares into his friend’s eyes. A sincere nod is all he needs for confirmation. “Oh my god!”

A large grin spreads across Seokjin’s face as he removes his hands from Jaehwan’s arms in order to run his fingers through his hair. This is everything he could have ever wished for, and more. To be able to film his new romance with you is a dream come true.

Ever since he’s gotten into acting, you’ve been his biggest inspiration. He fell in love with the way you portray each character on screen, and how professional you are. Not to mention your kind and timid nature which comes across as completely natural in interviews.

“When is she arriving on set?” Jin asks, doing his best to calm his excitement.

“Shouldn’t you know that?” Jaehwan chuckles.

“This is the best day of my life,” Jin mumbles, eyes wide in disbelief, still.

“From what I’ve heard, she’s arriving tomorrow for a read through of the script, and then you guys start filming on Monday,” Jaehwan mentions, noticing how Jin’s eyes dart to the calendar hanging on the side of the wall to check the date.

“Oh my god, I have to impress her,” he says, more to himself than anything, but Jaehwan still manages to hear. “Has she ever mentioned anything of me? Wait, of course she has, I watched the interview, like, ten times in a row. Maybe I’ll watch it again tonight. Oh gosh, I hope she likes me.”

Jaehwan only chuckles at Jin’s frantic rambling, giving him a firm pat on the shoulder before wishing him luck for tomorrow, and bidding him a good evening. He can still hear his friend rambling on to himself from the hallway even after he leaves the room, and he finds he can only shake his head in amusement. Hopefully, Jin can pull himself together enough for the read through tomorrow, but knowing his best friend, there’s no doubt in Jaehwan’s mind.

That night, Jin spends a few hours rewatching old interviews of yours, and gathering all the information he can to impress you. Never before in his life has he thought that the two of you would ever cross paths onset together. He’s only ever dreamt of something like this happening, far more times than he’d like to admit.

You seem to be really down to earth, and kind, so Jin knows he’s going to have to work hard to impress you. He knows the two of you are going to have such natural chemistry once you start filming together, that everyone will be so impressed. One thing’s for sure though, every opportunity he gets in order to make you fall for him, he’ll take. He’s only going to get this one chance, so he knows he can’t fuck it up.

Often, he’s dreamed of chance encounters with you on the set of some movie you’re both working on, or even just on the street. He knows he’s not as experienced as you are when it comes to the entertainment industry, but he’s hoping his charm doesn’t fail him now. He’s been told he can win over anyone’s heart, and so far, it’s been true. Now, all he has to do is win over yours, but it won’t be that hard. After all, he knows almost everything there is about you. Well, not quite everything, just what you let on in interviews and such.

He knows that once you’re together, you’ll be unstoppable. The hottest it couple the world has ever seen. He’d make all those men in romance movies look like boys compared to him. He’ll worship the very ground you walk on. That is, if you let him. 

A sigh escapes his lips as he riffles through his closet, attempting to pick out an outfit for tomorrow. Should he go with the baby blue button up, or the black one? Or maybe he should just go with something more casual for your first meeting, like a t-shirt and blazer.

Throwing the shirt in his hands to the floor, Jin lets out a frustrated grunt. He has to make a good first impression on you tomorrow, especially if he wants to impress you. He knows that the way to do that is to get you to notice him before he even introduces himself to you formally. He has to look nice for you, especially since you always look amazing, even when you’re wearing a ‘lazy day’ outfit, according to the media.

Running a hand through his hair, Jin turns back to look at the clothes hanging in his closet. He’s already spent two hours attempting to decide on an outfit for tomorrow, and so far, he’s got nothing. At least, nothing acceptable enough for you.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he allows himself to relax. He’s overthinking this. He knows that whatever he chooses to wear tomorrow, you’ll love, cause that’s just the person you are. You’re not one for big flashy outfits. Besides, he’ll look good in anything he decides to wear, especially if it’s for you.

After another half hour of deciding on what to wear, even after his little mental pep talk, he decides on a simple black pair of jeans, and the baby blue button up he had been holding earlier. Putting them aside before cleaning up the mess now in his closet, he gets ready for bed.

He stares at the ceiling for a bit, mind racing around with thoughts about tomorrow. He can’t wait to see you and finally meet you in person. He’s so excited to get to see your smile in real life, and not through a screen. Hopefully, you’ll even direct it towards him.

However, he can’t help but also feel nervous. What if you don’t like him? What if you don’t see how perfect you are for each other? No matter, he’ll just have to show you how perfect he can be for you. After all, he’s not like the others you’ve- unfortunately- been with. He’s a gentleman, and he loves you. He doesn’t care how long it will take, or what he has to do to prove that.

Waking up bright and early the next day, Jin takes his time getting ready. He spends nearly two hours in the bathroom, scrubbing himself clean and making sure his skin is glowing, just for you. Once he’s sure his hair is styled the way he wants it to be before the actual stylists get to it, and making sure he smells nice, he’s ready to get dressed.

Looking himself over in the mirror once he’s all ready, Jin grins at himself. He looks great, if he does say so himself, and he knows you’ll appreciate all his effort of making himself look good for your first meeting. 

He bets the two of you will look back on this day and laugh at how nervous he was to meet you. He can’t wait to tell your kids about this.

Arriving to the sound lot, Jin makes his way to the building you’re all supposed to be doing your read through in. He takes a deep breath before opening the doors, and walking inside.

His heart is racing as each step he takes brings him closer to the room you’re supposed to all meet in. He purposely slows his walking pace slightly just so he can make this moment last a little longer. He’s about to meet you, and everything he’s planned for in the past twelve hours is finally going to come to fruition.

The closer he gets to the room, the louder the voices sound. He can hear some of the producers chatting, as well as the director talking with some of the supporting actors. 

Then, he hears it. Your laugh.

It’s like his world has stopped, and as soon as he passes through the doorway, all he can see is you. All of his previous confidence has seemingly vanished, his palms becoming sweaty as he watches you talk with one of the writers on set.

“Jin! There you are!” Jaehwan, noticing his friend by the entranceway, goes over to greet him. “Woah, man, are you okay?”

“She’s- she’s right there,” Jin replies, trembling slightly as his eyes never leave your figure. “Oh god, how do I look?”

Jaehwan raises an eyebrow curiously at his friend, “you look fine.”

“Fine?” Jin begins to panic, finally breaking his gaze from you to look at Jaehwan, “just fine? I stayed up nearly all night pulling this outfit together. I knew I should have went with the black one…”

“Well, you better get over you predicament now, and fast, cause guess who’s coming this way,” Jaehwan flicks his eyes, which are shining with amusement, over to your form which is heading their way.

“Oh god,” Jin can feel his heart racing in his chest as he watches you get closer to him, feeling as if his heart is about to beat out of his chest.

“Hello boys,” you greet as soon as you’re within earshot. “It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about the two of you from the crew. I’m (Y/n).”

You smile at them, and Jin swears he’s died and gone to heaven.

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” Jaehwan takes the lead, shaking your outstretched hand, seeing as his friend is a little out of it at the moment. “We’re so excited to be able to work with you on a show like this. My name’s Jaehwan, and this idiot-“

“Kim Seokjin, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” taking your hand in his, he kisses the back of it, sending a quick side eye glance to Jaehwan.

“The pleasure is all mine,” you grin back.

Before you can say another word, the director calls for everyone’s attention, letting you all know that the read through will begin in five minutes. 

“Well, we better take our seats soon,” you say, turning your head slightly to look at the tables that have been set up in the room.

“Have you had a chance to look over the script yet?” Jin asks, leading the way to the tables and pulling out your chair for you.

Thanking him, you nod your head slightly, “I looked over it briefly before accepting the role. It looks interesting. Have you?”

“Not entirely, but I know the general plot,” he lies, wanting to make you feel better about not reading the script in its entirety yet.

As soon as he was cast to play the male lead in this romance, he stayed up all night reading the script. Now that he knows you’re going to be playing his love interest, he’s even more excited for what’s to come. Granted, he is also nervous since he doesn’t want to mess anything up, even if the two of you are just acting. Well, he may not even have to act during some scenes, if things work out right. 

He’s hoping you can see his dedication and passion shine through when you work together, so you know that that same passion burns through in everything he does. Especially if he becomes your lover. No. When he becomes your lover.

“Okay, if everyone could take their seats now,” the director calls, “let’s get this show on the road.”

A few chuckles are heard form around the room as the rest of the cast and a few crew members take their seats. You notice Jin has taken the spot beside you, and his friend Jaehwan has taken the next spot over.

Once everyone is settled, the director calls for everyone’s attention once more.

“Alright, so most of you know me already, but for those of you who don’t, my name is Joe Kim. I’ll be your director for Love Lies, the new romance series you’ve all agreed to take part in,” a small round of applause is heard around the room, “Love Lies is about two young adults who meet on a chance encounter one night, which then blossoms into a summer romance between the two. One of them has just gotten out of a long term engagement, and isn’t quite sure if they’re ready to love again. The other is easy going, and isn’t quite sure if they’re ready for such a commitment, but the two overcome their obstacles to be together in the end.” Another small round of applause. “And now, without further ado, here’s executive producer Lee Hongbin to further explain the two main characters.”

As Joe takes a seat, Hongbin stands up at the other end of the table, drawing everyone’s eyes to him.

“Thanks Joe,” smiling, Hongbin addresses everyone in the room. “So, we have the two leads, who will be played by mister Kim Seokjin, and miss (Y/n) (L/n) respectively. Their character’s names are Lim Seokmin and Sakura Hinami. Seokmin has just gotten out of a long term engagement which lasted two years, and works hard, especially for what he wants. He is weary at first when he meets Hinami, since she’s much bolder than he expects her to be. Hinami is a much more outgoing girl who likes to have a good time, not really wanting to be tied down too often for long periods of time. Their characters are different in that Seokmin is your typical businessman, whereas Hinami is your typical, easygoing partier. They push and pull each other, and eventually Seokmin learns to loosen up a bit, and Hinami learns to settle down when necessary.”

“How does the title fit into all of this?” Jaehwan pipes up, brows furrowed in confusion.

“I’m getting there, don’t worry,” Hongbin chuckles. “Love Lies gets its name from all the secrets each character keeps from the other, from the beginning of the show, right up until the climax. It delves into the hidden lives of these two characters, and how they each play off of one another with what they reveal to the other over time.”

“Sounds interesting! Let’s get started,” the director says, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

Without another word, everyone flips open their scripts to the very first episode of the series, beginning to read through as their respective roles. Every tip the director gives you, you take with a nod of your head, immediately implementing the change into your read through.

To say Jin is impressed would be an understatement. The level of professionalism you exude through this entire process blows him away, and you haven’t even started filming yet. He can only hope he’s impressing you as much as you’re impressing him.

Before anyone knows it, the read through has come to an end, and the cast and crew are mingling in the room once again. Jin notices you over by the refreshments and heads over to talk with you before you head back to your hotel for the weekend since he knows you don’t own a place in the city.

“If that read through was anything to go by, I can’t wait to start working with you officially,” he grins, grabbing a water bottle from the table in the process.

You turn to him with slightly wide eyes, not expecting him to be right next to you, “really? Thank you very much, that means a lot to me coming from you. I think you’re an amazing actor, and I’m really impressed with what you’ve done so far in your career.”

Now it’s his turn for his eyes to widen, “I could say the same to you.”

“Well, if I’m being honest, I was really nervous to meet you today,” you admit, and Jin’s heart begins racing in his chest. “I can’t believe we’ll be working together.”

“Me neither,” he whispers, lips twitching upwards as you glance away from him shyly. “If I’m being honest, I’ve always admired your acting skills, and you were actually the one who inspired me to pursue a career in acting myself.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” now it’s his turn to blush, looking away slightly to avoid your eyes.

“Well, I can’t wait to see that charm be released on set, mister Kim Seokjin,” you wink, and without another word, you’re turning around and walking out of the room, away from him.

Jin stands there, stunned, for a moment, as he stares after your figure which has just disappeared behind a corner of the studio. A smile pulls at his lips as he lets out a small blissful sigh. That went so much better than he could have ever anticipated, and you’re also excited to work with him. This day could not get any better.

“Well, that went well,” Jaehwan manages to startle Jin out of his thoughts and back to reality.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that,” Jin smacks his friend on the arm while Jaehwan just laughs.

“What? Scared I’m going to ease-drop on your precious conversations with (Y/n)?” Jaehwan teases.

“No,” Jin grumbles, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Loosen up, will you? I’m just pulling your leg,” Jaehwan lightly shoves his friend as they both begin to make their way out of the studio.

Making it out to the parking lot, Jaehwan bids Jin a farewell. Making it back to his car, Jin enters and lets out a sigh. If only he could have spent more time with you today. Now, he has to wait for the entire weekend to be over in order to see your face in person again. Whatever, at least he has his interviews, shows, and movies he can rewatch with you in them to keep him occupied.

For the entire weekend, Jin finds himself eagerly anticipating for Monday to come. He can’t wait to start filming with you. Especially since he’ll get to see you again. Besides, the director mentioned that the first scene that the two of you would be filming together would be where your two character meet each other for the first time. He can’t wait to show you how good of an actor he can be.

Monday morning rolls around, and you’re on set bright and early. Sitting in the hair and makeup department, you do your best to stay awake as they work on preparing you for your first scene. Luckily, the coffee you’re drinking seems to be working.

“Good morning,” a voice to your right says, managing to startle you slightly for you had zoned out for a moment.

“Oh, morning,” you say, watching as Jin takes the seat next to you so they can start working on his hair and makeup.

“How was your weekend?” He decides casual conversation is the way to go.

“Not too bad,” comes your reply, taking a small sip of your drink in the process. “Focussed on the script, mainly. How was yours?”

“Good,” he smiles. “I basically did the same thing.”

He wants to keep the conversation going, but he can tell that you’re not a talker this early in the morning. Although slightly disappointed, he’ll respect your boundaries. He doesn’t want to annoy you on your first day.

About an hour later, the both of you are dressed in your outfits for the first scene, and they’re just doing slight touchups before you start to film.

“Alright, everyone, gather round!” Joe calls, waiting for the cast and crew to walk up to him. “Today marks the first day of Love Lies, let’s make it a good one! Places everybody!”

Moving to your starting mark, you let out a sigh. The only main direction they’ve given you for scenes is you start where they tell you, then you take it from there, since they want the scenes to feel ‘more natural’ and ‘less scripted’ in terms of movements.

The scene in which your two characters are supposed to meet occurs in the middle of the street. Hinami is coming home from a club and stumbles into Seokmin, who is getting home late from work.

“And, action!” Joe calls.

Immediately, Jin can see the shift in you, going from yourself to the character you’re portraying. The camera focuses on you as you stumble your way down the street, giggling to yourself.

Once you reach a certain point, now it’s time for Jin’s entrance.

Stepping around the corner like he’s supposed to, Jin bumps into you, sending you tumbling to the ground in your drunken state.

“Watch it-“ his breath gets caught in his throat as he sees you looking up at him with a glare, your eyes half glazed over.

“You watch it,” you huff, standing back up to dust off your skirt before continuing on your way down the street, muttering a ‘prick’ under your breath.

“Hey, wait!” He catches up to you, grabbing your arm to pull you around to face him. “I’m sorry for bumping into you. You’re clearly not in the right state of mind, so let me call you a cab.”

“If you think-“ you pause to wobble a bit on your feet, “if you think, that just because I’m a little tipsy, that I’m going to get in a cab with you-“ you jab a finger into his shoulder, “you, sir, are mistaken.”

“No, I’m not-“ he lets out a sigh, gently brushing your hand off of him.

“If you are done, I’m going home,” you interrupt him before he can finish saying what he wants to.

Storming down the street, Jin watches you stumble slightly before disappearing around the corner. 

A sigh escapes his lips as he shakes his head, “what just happened?”

A few seconds pass before the director is calling ‘cut’ and praising the both of you for the scene. Jin watches as you appear once more from behind the corner, a small smile gracing your lips as you stand tall. Any hints of your character’s drunkenness is gone.

For the rest of the day, you run the scene a few more times, using different tones and body language until Joe and Hongbin are satisfied with your first interaction on screen.

“Alright, after lunch, we’ll film the short intros for each character before they meet, and then after that, we’ll film the next meeting!” Hongbin announces, as everyone scurries off to find lunch.

“Hey, good work so far,” your voice has Jin’s eyes going wide.

“Oh, uh, thank you,” he smiles, somewhat shyly. “You’re doing amazing, too.”

You let out a small laugh, “thank you.”

“Are you okay, by the way?” He asks, causing you to furrow your brows in confusion. “You know, I didn’t knock you over too roughly, did I?”

“Oh,” understanding crosses your features before you’re smiling at him. “No, not at all. In fact, I kinda like it rough.”

With a wink, you’re heading out to grab lunch for yourself, leaving Jin speechless and almost choking on air.

He can feel his heart racing as he thinks about the meaning behind your words. Are you insinuating something? Maybe something you’re planning to do with him in the future? Could you want him as much as he wants you?

All these thoughts, and more, race through his head as he walks, almost robotically, over to where Jaehwan sits off to the side.

Noticing his friend’s dazed state, Jaehwan lets out a slight chuckle, “woah, what happened to you?”

Shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts, Jin blinks twice, “nothing. What makes you think that.”

“I have a sneaking feeling that this has something to do with one little starlet,” Jaehwan teases, only causing Jin to flush in embarrassment, shoving his friend lightly as he mutters a ‘shut up’.

Lunch passes by fairly quickly, and they’ve agreed to shoot Jin’s solo part first before shooting yours, so that way you can get a bit of a break. Besides, they have his office and everything already set up.

It takes them about two hours to film the scene before, and the scene after your first meeting in the streets. The director is really happy with how everything is turning out so far, and Jin could not be prouder. He just hopes you’re as proud of him as he is of himself.

Moving over to the next set, you prepare to film the club scene which will introduce your character. The stylist adds some finishing touches to your hair before they give you the all clear to get into starting position.

As soon as the director yells ‘action’, you come alive in the scene, dancing with the extras in the club, downing fake shots, and just having an overall good time. You really know how to immerse yourself into your character.

The whole time, Jin sits off to the side, just watching you. Every movement you make, mesmerizes him, and he finds he cannot tear his eyes away from you. It’s when you turn around that he feels as if his whole word has stopped.

You seem to move in slow motion as the lights flash around you, illuminating your face and giving you a natural glow. A large smile is plastered on your face and he swears it’s just you and him right now on set. Time has stopped, and all because of you and your beauty.

He’s rather harshly pulled from his thoughts as the music ends and the director yells for the scene to cut. He notices you seem to relax slightly as you walk off set. Your scene could not have taken more than thirty minutes to film, but they have enough footage to put together a small montage to introduce your character. 

Soon enough, the two of you are heading back to hair and makeup to prepare for your next scene together. An hour later, the two of you are dressed and ready to film your character’s second encounter.

As soon as the camera’s start rolling, the two of you immerse yourselves in the scene.

“Hello and welcome, what can I get for you today?” You greet the next customer, who just so happens to be Jin, but you’re too busy looking at the screen of the computer to notice.

“It’s you,” he breathes, brow furrowing slightly.

“Huh- you,” your eyes widen slightly as you recognize the man standing before you. “Couldn’t shoot your shot last night so you’ve decided to stalk me at work, now, huh?”

“Huh, no! I don’t even know you,” he argues.

“Awful strange for it to be a coincidence though,” you hum, motioning for your coworker to take over for you. “I’m sorry, sir, but I refuse to serve you.”

Luckily, no one else but your coworker is in the shop with you.

Moving off to the side, you take a seat at an empty table, only to have a muffin placed in front of you in the next second. Looking up you see the same man from last night.

“Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he begins. “I’m sorry for bumping into you last night, and I had no intention of mistreating you. I came to get some bread, and I swear to you it’s only a mere coincidence you work here. I don’t like misunderstandings, so I hope you can accept my apology.”

Bowing his head slightly in your direction, you sit there, slightly stunned before a smirk takes over your features.

“Nah, I’m just pulling your leg,” you grin. “I’m Hinami, nice to meet you.”

Extending your hand out for him to shake, you watch as he looks at you hesitantly before extending his own hand out for you to shake.

Jin swears he feels sparks where your hands meet, but he remains in character.

“Seokmin,” he nods. “I best be going now.”

Without another word, he leaves the shop, the door letting out a little chime on his way out.

As soon as he’s gone, your coworker is coming up to you and taking a piece of your muffin.

“Who was that?” She asks, teasing smile tugging at her lips.

“Nobody important, just some guy I met last night,” you shrug.

“Oh?” She quirks an eyebrow.

“It’s not like that,” you roll your eyes, taking a bite of the muffin.

“Well, it should be, he’s hot,” she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, only causing you to hit her shoulder lightly.

“Stop that, will you,” you lean back in your chair. “He’s not my type, anyways. I can just tell he’s too stuck up and pretentious for his own good.”

“Maybe you’re just too quick to judge,” she sends you a look. “Or maybe, he just needs a little reminder on how to have fun.”

“Maybe,” a small smile tugs at your lips as you stare out the door in which he disappeared from. Shaking your head shortly after, you snap yourself out of your thoughts, “shouldn’t you be working?”

“Says you!” Your coworker, laughs.

“Hey, get back to work!” You stand, smacking her arm in the process, only causing her to laugh more.

“And, cut!” Joe calls. “That was great!”

Jin reappears from around the corner, moving over to the monitors as you all go to watch the scene replay on screen. A smile rests on his face as he hears the praise for the both of you on screen.

Already, he can tell that everyone is starting to notice the natural chemistry between the two of you on screen, just like he predicted. He can’t wait to continue filming with you over the next few months.

After the director approves the final scene for the day, you’re heading back to the stylists to change and head home. On your way out, you manage to catch Jin standing off to the side on his phone.

“Hey, good work today,” you smile, and he looks up to meet your eyes.

Once he sees that it’s you, a faint blush rises up his neck, “thanks, you as well.”

“Thank you,” you say. “Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With a final wave, you’re leaving set and heading home for the evening. Jin cannot help but stare longingly after you, desperately waiting for the day where the two of you can leave set together for your shared house. He can’t wait to spoil you after a long day of filming, drawing you a bath and just helping you relax overall. He knows just how he would help you relax, too.

A shiver runs down his spine as he thinks of these things. He licks his lips, letting a small sigh escape past them. Soon, he tells himself. He’ll be able to spoil and pamper you at home soon.

The next two weeks pass by in a blur for him. Each day that he gets to spend time with you on set, he finds himself falling more and more for you. The way you bring your character to life in each scene never fails to amaze him, and he can tell you’re impressed with him, too. You even compliment him every day before going home on his acting, or on how well he did that day in general.

So far, with the amount of shooting you’ve been doing, you’ve all been able to get an episode filmed per week, and are now filming the third episode. 

Jin has been slightly nervous for today’s film schedule, as you’ll be filming the date scene today. He stayed up pretty late last night, wanting to get this scene perfect for you. Everything has to go smoothly, so he can show you that, in part, he won’t even need to act for this scene. He’s already practically in love with you, so portraying the ‘falling in love’ effect will be a piece of cake.

As soon as the director yells action, the restaurant around you begins bustling with activity. Your eyes skim the menu, as Jin’s do the same, sneaking glances at one another every now and again.

“The sirloin steaks are to die for,” he comments, eyes flicking over to see you nod your head subtly.

“I’ll just have whatever you’re having,” you say, a nervous smile tugging at your lips as the waiter comes over to your table with the drinks.

After he orders for you, the two of you exchange the polite conversation your characters are suppose to, leading up to this moment.

As the two of you eat, Jin takes this time to notice that you’re picking at your food, easily portraying concern for you.

“Is something wrong? Is the food not to your liking?” His brow furrows, pausing his own meal to watch you closely.

“No, no, it’s not that,” you reassure him, sending him a small smile.

“Then what is it?” He can feel his heart racing in his chest, and he has to remind himself to stay calm.

“Well,” you sigh, putting your fork down on the side of the plate, “don’t you think this is all a bit much?”

This only serves to confuse and concern him more, “what do you mean?”

“I mean,” you avoid his gaze, “isn’t this a little much for a first date? The fancy restaurant and all that. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but do you really think this is all worth it?”

You portray your character’s insecurity well, fidgeting with your hands slightly under the table and avoiding his gaze. This causes him to put his own fork down, giving you his full, undivided attention.

“Why would you think that?” He inquires, locking his hands together so he can gaze at you from behind them.

“I mean, no one has ever done something like this for me, are you sure I’m-“

“You’re worth it,” he doesn’t even let you finish speaking your line before he’s cutting you off. He didn’t even need to act for that line, because to him, you are worth it. You will always be worth it.

The sincerity in his voice causes your eyes to widen in slight surprise, but it works for your character.

“I know we haven’t know each other for very long, but I like you,” he begins. “I really like you, and I want to see where this relationship takes us. I don’t know who has told you otherwise, but you are worth it.” He pauses, before added something of his own, “you will always be worth it to me.”

Suddenly, it’s as if the two of you are alone together. No cameras. No crew watching your every movement with the director waiting at the sidelines. It’s just you and him. Jin can feel his heart racing as he looks into your eyes, and he knows that you can tell he’s being serious right now. That he means every word he’s saying to you, scripted or not.

“Seokmin,” you whisper his character’s name, and Jin is brought crashing back to reality as the director yells ‘cut’.

That’s right, you’re not alone. You’re not on a real date, and you’re not together.

Jin grits his teeth slightly as the crew praises him for his delivery of his lines, and the emotion he’s put into them. The director even tells him to keep in his little added line when reshooting the scene. Well, that is, if they choose to reshoot it.

“Hey, are you okay?” Your voice manages to pull him out of his swirling thoughts of having his moment with you interrupted.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” he clears his throat. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just, you seemed a bit too immersed in that scene, I was scared you were going to get emotional on me on our first date,” you joke, attempting to lighten the mood.

He lets out a chuckle along with you, “I’m good, just got really into the scene, like you said.”

“Well, you’re doing great, so keep up the good work,” you wink at him before heading off to grab some water before filming starts back up again.

Jin sits there, stunned, for a moment, before he’s shaking his head and standing up himself. Moving over to the refreshments table, Jin manages to run into Jaehwan.

“So, how’s the, ‘I’m going to make my costar fall as desperately in love with me as I am with her’ plan going?” Jaehwan teases as soon as he sees Jin.

“Shut up, that’s not a thing,” Jin rolls his eyes, taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Uh-huh, sure it’s not,” Jaehwan smirks. “I feel like now would be a good time to tell you they changed the filming schedule for next week. A few scenes are going to happen much quicker now since the premier episode resonated well with viewers.”

“What scenes are you talking about?” Jin’s brow furrows slightly in confusion.

“I’m surprised you don’t already know,” he goes on to say.

“Jaehwan, what scenes?” Jin asks firmly.

“The confession scene, and then the following events that take place afterwards,” with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows, Jaehwan is leaving a stunned Jin at the refreshments table, laughing all the while.

The confession scene. The scene in which wasn’t supposed to be filmed for another two or so weeks. Jin was hoping that the two of you would actually be in some sort of relationship by then so it would be more realistic, and the two of you wouldn’t have to act too much, but it looks like there’s a change of plans. Well, he still doesn’t need to try very hard, but he was hoping to confess his true feelings to you before confessing them on a screen.

What he’s most excited for though, is the scene that follows. He can already feel his heart racing at the thought of filming this scene with you. The sex scene.

Preferable, he’d rather perform this act with you alone, on a night full of passion and love, but he guesses he’ll just have to tease you until you can experience the real thing. He’ll make sure you can feel his passion and desire for you burn through, letting you know that he lives to please you, and only you.

Granted, things won’t be as intimate as he would like since the two of you won’t be fully naked. The editors will only make it look like the act is taking place, but he still gets to kiss you. He gets to kiss you.

Again, he would have rather preferred your first kiss together not to be onscreen, but he can make an exception. After all, this is you he’s talking about, and you’re worth waiting for. 

He can’t wait for the day when he can wake up beside you and shower you with as many kisses as he wants. Maybe even wake you up in some other, more fun ways. That is, if you would be okay with something like that. He respects you enough to not overstep your boundaries.

Laying in bed that night, Jin finds himself staring at his ceiling, picturing all the different outcomes next week can end in. Out of everything, he just hopes it ends in a good one, and that by next week, your relationship can take a leap in a positive direction. 

Seeing you everyday on set and not being able to hold you in his arms, or kiss you like he so desperately wants, is driving him insane. Sure, acting as your love interest is fun and all, but it’s just that. Acting. What he wants, is for it to be real.

The next few days pass by agonizingly slow for Seokjin. The two of you are doing a lot of solo filming, and all he wants to do is continue to film with you.

He’s just finishing getting ready to go home Friday evening when he hears a soft knock come from the door of his dressing room. Moving over, he opens it to see you standing just outside. He has to blink a few times to make sure he’s not imagining this.

“Hey, a few of us are going to go out for drinks tonight,” you say, motioning with your head to the small group of people standing a little ways behind you. “Want to come?”

“I would love to,” the words are out of his mouth before he can think too much of them.

A smile graces his lips as he exits his trailer and follows you back over to the group. This may be his only chance to start something with you, and get you to see him as something more than just your costar.

While at the bar, you find yourself laughing along with your coworkers, and having a grand time. Eventually, a few of them leave for the evening, until it’s just you and Jin sitting at a table near the back, sipping on your drinks.

“So, Jin,” you calling out his name grabs his attention, “we haven’t spent too much time together off set yet. Tell me about yourself.”

“It’s not intentional,” he immediately says, and you laugh.

“I know, don’t worry,” you smile at him, and he swears his heart has stopped. “I just figured since we’re in this together, we should actually spend some time with one another and get to know each other better.”

“I agree,” he smiles back. “What would you like to know?”

“Well,” you hum, tapping a finger on your chin as if in thought, “you said I was an inspiration to the beginning of your acting career, but I want to know more. What do you like about the industry? What don’t you like about the industry? Am I really the reason you started acting, or was that just something you said to make me like you in the moment?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said you were my inspiration,” he says, looking directly into your eyes with so much sincerity, it makes your heart skip a beat. “I never thought I would get to where I am today, but it’s all because of you. If I’m being honest, your passion and drive inspired me to become the actor I am today. Every time I see you on screen, you never fail to bring whatever character you’re playing to life, and I am continuously blown away by your performances on set every day.”

“You flatter me,” a heat rises to your cheeks as you look away from him in embarrassment, and he can’t help but to admire you in this moment.

“I’m just being honest,” he smiles softly at you. “Though to answer your other questions, I don’t like how some people just believe you are your character, and not your own person. I guess that’s one of the downsides. That, and, once you reach a certain level of fame, you barely get any privacy.”

“No kidding, I’ve already had to change hotels three times because the fans keep finding out where I’m staying at in the city while filming this show,” you admit, only causing his eyes to widen and jaw to clench. Those inconsiderate fans don’t deserve you; they should respect your privacy. “In fact, I’m surprised that no one has bothered us here yet.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’ve known Yoongi since high school,” he sends a quick wave to the bartender behind the counter, who smiles and waves back. “He won’t tell anyone where we are, this is his place and that’s why the crew chose it.”

“That’s reassuring,” you breathe a sigh of relief before meeting his gaze, “but yeah, I agree with you. Having fans confuse you and your character so much that they believe you to be that certain character all the time is frustrating. I just wish sometimes people could separate the actor from the character, it makes me feel…”

You trail off, but he can already tell what words you’re searching for, “like people don’t know the real you. Like they only like you, they only want you, for your character.”

“Exactly!” You nod, a sort of sad smile on your face. “I’m glad we understand each other.”

“Me too,” he grins, taking a sip of his drink. “Anyways, what about you?”

“What about me?” You chuckle.

“What are some other things you don’t like about the industry we’re in?” He asks, curious to get to know all he can about you.

“One thing that really frustrates me, especially during new projects, is when my costars try to get in my pants within the first two weeks of shooting. They don’t even try to hide what they’re doing, either,” you admit, and Jin finds himself clenching his fists beneath the table in anger. “It’s like all they want is the chance to say they slept with me, and that’s it. Like my name is some trophy to be hung around everyone else. They don’t care about (Y/n), the person, they only care about sleeping with (Y/n), the actress.”

Jin takes a risk and gently grabs your hand in his on top of the table, looking deep into your eyes as he speaks his next words carefully.

“I’m so sorry that you have to experience something like that,” he squeezes your hand gently. “No one should feel as if their self worth is reliant on status, and that’s what these assholes are doing. You are worth so much more than what these disgusting excuses of humans make you out to be, and if they cannot respect you enough as a person, they never deserved you in the first place.”

“Thank you, Jin, that really means a lot to me,” you squeeze his hand back, sending him a grateful smile. “I should probably get going now, but I’ll see you Monday on set, okay?”

With a final smile, you’re standing up from your seat, gathering your things, and bidding Jin a goodnight, but not before placing a gentle kiss onto his cheek.

Jin is frozen to his spot as he watches you pay for your drinks, then leave. A goofy grin is on his face as he brings his hand up to cover the spot on his cheek where you kissed him. His heart is racing erratically in his chest, and he swears he could not be happier than he is in this moment, right here, right now.

“Somebody had a moment with their celebrity crush,” Yoongi’s teasing voice pulls Jin out of his fantasy world.

“Shut up,” Jin can’t even be bothered to deny it. The two of you shared a moment, that much he can tell. He just hopes you’ll give him a chance to woo you, and not categorize him in with the others. After all, he loves you for you, and he would never hesitate to let you know that.

If Jin thought the past few days were agonizingly slow, waiting to see you again on Monday after the evening he just had with you was absolutely excruciating. By the time Monday happens to roll around, Jin finds himself bouncing onto set in excitement.

“Woah, what happened to you?” Jaehwan comments as soon as he sees his best friend arriving earlier to set than usual.

“Nothing,” Jin hums. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Jaehwan chuckles, knowing clearly that something must have happened with you and him over the past few days in order to put him in such a good mood.

The whole time Jin sits in his chair getting his hair and makeup done, he finds he can’t sit still. Both the makeup artist and the hairdresser have already scolded him for fidgeting around so much, but he can’t help it.

He doesn’t see you until he makes it to the sound stage that day, and he swears you look even more beautiful than the first time he saw you in person. You have this natural glow about you, and as soon as you see him, a smile crosses your features.

“Good morning, Jin, how was your weekend?” Walking up to him, you greet him enthusiastically.

“Great,” he lies smoothly. “How was yours?”

He listens to you talk about what your weekend was like, and he notices how open you are with him. Considering how you were on your first morning on set, he never would have thought you would be this energetic on a Monday morning. Maybe you’re just in a really good mood, and he can’t help but to think he had something to do with it.

A few minutes later, Joe calls for everyone’s attention on set, and for the shooting to begin for today. Jin can feel his palms begin to sweat at the thought of the first scene the two of you will be filming together. Your first kiss.

Once everything is set up, the director calls for the scene to start, and Jin needs to take a deep breath to calm his nerves. He hasn’t been this nervous since the first days of his career.

“Hinami, wait,” he grabs your wrist before you can leave his apartment.

“Why should I? You lied to me, and now you tell me that your ex-fiancée is back in town wanting to go out with you?” You scoff, tears gathering in your eyes. “Was I just a distraction to you? A distraction from her?”

“No, please, Hinami, you don’t understand-“ he tries to explain himself, but you cut him off before he can continue.

“I understand as clear as day,” the first of your tears run down your cheek, and Jin can’t stop his heart from clenching, even if it’s all just an act. “This is why I don’t settle down, there’s too much at risk, and I always end up getting hurt.”

Without another word, you yank your wrist from his grip and once again turn to leave his apartment. However, before you can get more than two steps, Jin is once again grabbing your arm, and pulling you into his chest this time.

“I can’t just let you go,” he whispers, staring deep into your eyes.

“Oh? And why is that?” You sniff, and he uses this opportunity to wipe at your tears with his thumb.

“Because I love you,” with those words, he’s pressing his lips to yours.

He can hear the way your breath hitches as he pours all of his emotion into the kiss, wanting you to feel his passion burning through for you. He wants you to know that to him, this is real, and he isn’t just kissing you for the cameras. He’s kissing you, and he never wants it to end.

Almost as soon as it started, the kiss comes to an end, and the director is yelling ‘cut’. Yet again, Jin finds himself being pulled back into reality as he does his best to control his breathing, feeling everyone’s eyes on the two of you.

What he doesn’t expect, is for the director to run the scene four more times in order to make sure they get the kiss right. Well, he knows they do multiple takes, but the thought of getting to kiss you multiple times seemed to have slipped his mind. He always thought he was only going to get one shot at this, but now he gets to kiss you even more.

Each time he kisses you, even if just for a brief moment, it’s better than the last, and he cherishes every moment of it. He finds himself greatly anticipating for what else is to come later that same day.

Soon enough, the director is happy with the amount of takes they have of this scene, and he announces for everyone to take lunch. Once they return, they’ll film the bedroom scene and then call it a day for the scenes the two of you are in together.

Jin can’t help how antsy he feels all throughout lunch. This may be his only chance to be in a situation like this with you, and he doesn’t want to fuck it up.

Before shooting the scene, a few of the choreographers come up to the two of you and coach you through how to go about filming this scene without it being too awkward between the two of you. You, already having filmed scenes like this in other works of yours, already know what to do, so you just tell Jin to follow your lead. A fact which he just nods at.

After changing into your respective clothing pieces for the scene, the two of you get ready to film the bout of passion that will be taking place soon. Jin finds himself shifting slightly in the briefs they’ve made him wear which are supposed to contain his dick in case he gets a hard-on.

He nearly scoffs. As if he’s going to be like some hormonal teenage boy and get a boner while filming a sex scene with you. He’s a professional, he can control himself.

He can barely hear Joe call action over the racing of his heart, but he doesn’t need to think for too long, as you’re the one attaching your lips to his first.

Following your lead, he lets you guide him to the bed, stripping each other of clothes at the respective times you’re supposed to. He doesn’t even need to remind himself to groan, for feeling you hovering above him causes him to react naturally to you.

Once you’re both shirtless, and he has you laying on your back, the director calls for a break in the scene. Jin finds he has to nearly tear himself away from you. He swears that you’re kissing him for real, and not pretending to be this passionate for the camera. There’s no way you’re faking this.

Readjusting your positions, the scene shifts so the two of you are now under the covers, making it look like you two are tangled in a lover’s embrace. The only things separating the two of you are your undergarments, and Jin wants nothing more than to rip them off of you and claim you for himself, but he wouldn’t do that. Not with everyone watching.

Gritting his teeth slightly before the cameras start rolling again, he thinks about how everyone is watching the two of you right now. He’d much rather have you beneath him in the comfort of his own home, without the added onlookers. Only he should be able to see you like this.

As soon as the cameras start rolling again, Jin is putting as much effort into showing you how well he can please you as before. He takes his time to grind into you, making it look like the two of you are making love in the silence of night. You hands in his hair, as well as the breathless moans you release into his ear, only serve to spur him on further.

His briefs are uncomfortably tight as they end the scene, and the two of you pull away from each other. 

One of the wardrobe helpers tosses you a robe to cover yourself with, to which you thank them. Standing up, you move to get changed into your next outfit to shoot in, cheeks becoming hot as you think back to the way Jin felt on top of you.

You’ve always admired him, thinking him to be extremely handsome, but you never acted on it. You’re worried he’s just going to be like all your other costars, wanting to get in your pants and be done with you, but after spending Friday evening with him, you can tell he’s different.

One thing’s for sure, you’re definitely going to get to know him better.

Meanwhile, Jin finds himself needing a moment alone in his dressing room to calm down. He thought he could act professional and not get hard during your intimate scene together, but oh, how wrong he was. Having you beneath him, holding onto him like you need him, and no one else, whining into his ear, had him seeing stars. If only it were real.

No matter, he swears to himself that it will become a reality, and soon. He’s decided, he’s going to have you, one way or another. After all, you’re perfect for each other, and that scene has just confirmed it for him.

For the rest of the week, the whole set can feel the shift between you and Jin. There’s an unspoken tension between the two of you now, ever since the scene you filmed together on Monday, and it only continues to rise each moment you spend together on set.

Jin can hardly take it anymore. He swears there are times around set where you purposely tease him, it’s driving him insane. The small comments you say here and there that aren’t so innocent, the subtle touches. He swears you’re going to give him a heart attack if the two of you don’t act on these feelings soon.

Currently, it’s Friday evening, and the two of you have just finished filming for the evening. You’re getting ready to head back to your hotel for the evening when you hear a slight knock come from your dressing room door.

Opening it reveals Jin standing there with his back to you. Clearing your throat slightly causes him to turn around to face you, a smile adorning his lips as he takes in your appearance.

“Hey,” he breathes.

“Hi,” you reply, lip tugging up at the corner as you stare at him.

“I was wondering if you wanted to grab a few drinks with me tonight?” He clears his throat, “maybe continue to get to know each other better.”

“I would love that,” you smile, grabbing your stuff before following him off the set and to his car.

The whole ride over there, the two of you make small talk, both still being able to feel the tension rising the more time you spend together. Soon though, the two of you relax as you arrive at the bar, having a few drinks and getting to know each other better.

Jin is able to make you laugh, and you can’t help but feel your heart race every time he looks at you. He understands you, and for that, you couldn’t be more grateful.

After a few hours at the bar, your phone rings, your manager’s name lighting up your screen. Excusing yourself for a minute, you answer the phone.

Jin can’t help but to eavesdrop on your conversation, and from the sounds of it, something bad is happening. Sipping on his drink, he hears you hang up with a sigh, coming back to sit across from him once more.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, looking at you with concern clear in his eyes.

“The fans found out which hotel I’m staying at again, and now they’re surrounding the building, waiting for me to return,” you explain, a defeated look on your face. “They can’t find me another hotel for another three hours or so, and even then, it might be a challenge to get my stuff out of the one I’m supposed to be staying at right now.”

“If you want, you can stay at my place for the evening,” Jin offers without even thinking about it.

Your eyes widen at his words, “you would do that for me?”

“Of course,” he smiles reassuringly at you. “I don’t want you being stuck for hours without having a place to stay.”

“That’s really sweet of you,” you say, “but I don’t want to impose.”

“You could never,” comes his honest reply, staring deeply into your eyes.

“Thank you, Seokjin, that really means a lot to me,” you tell him, a look of relief crossing your features.

“It’s really no problem,” he says, finishing off his drink and standing up as you do the same. “It’d be my pleasure.”

With those words, the two of you are paying for your drinks, bidding Yoongi a good night, and heading out the door.

The ride over to Jin’s place is silent, neither of you saying anything as you text your manager what’s going on. The unspoken tension seems to be making a reappearance the closer you get to his house, yet neither of you act on it.

Arriving to his house, Jin unlocks the door, guiding you inside.

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” he smiles at you, flicking on the lights.

“It’s beautiful,” you comment, taking in the modern design of the layout and architecture.

“Here, I’ll show you to the guest room,” he says, leading you up the stairs and down the hallway to the left.

“I literally cannot thank you enough for letting me stay here tonight, Jin,” you tell him once you reach the guest room.

“Don’t mention it,” he smiles at you. “There should be some clothes in the closet that you can use to sleep in if you’d like. Feel free to wear whatever is most comfortable for you. I’m in the room just down the hall on the right if you need anything. Feel free to help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen, too.”

“Alright, thank you,” you nod at him while smiling. “Goodnight, Jin.”

“Goodnight, (Y/n),” he smiles back, gently shutting the door behind him so you can change.

He stays like that for a minute, just listening to you moving behind the door. He can hardly believe that this is happening right now, his whole body feels like it’s on fire. You’re here, in his home, spending the night together. Well, not together, but still, he could not be more excited.

Moving over to his room, he takes his time getting ready for bed, still feeling as if this is a dream. Once he’s done his nightly routine, and changed into a pair of sweats, he heads to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before bed.

Turning around as he sips on the water, he nearly chokes as he sees you standing there, wide eyed, in nothing but one of his old shirts.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” your voice comes out timid, moving past him to grab a glass of water. 

Your eyes look around his kitchen, doing your best not to stare at his bare chest as you attempt to find an empty glass for water. Noticing your hesitance, he motions to one of the cabinets on the top left beside the fridge.

“Thanks,” you breathe, opening the cabinet and reaching up to grab a glass.

Now, he swears you’re doing this on purpose just to tease him, for the shirt you’re wearing rides up slightly to reveal more of your thighs, just barely covering your ass. He swallows hard, and he finds it harder to control himself around you.

He wants you. Badly.

He watches as you fill your glass up, tilting your head back in the next moment to drink it. He swallows hard.

Putting your glass into the sink, you’re just about to turn back around when you feel Jin press himself against your back, putting his own empty glass into the sink. Turning around in his arms, you stare into his eyes. Eyes which are now clouding over in lust and desire for you. Now it’s your turn to swallow hard.

The two of you say nothing, instead, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. You can tell he’s holding himself back from doing what he wants, but you can wait. After all, you’ve been waiting for him to make a move since Monday.

“You drive me crazy, you know that?” He breathes, closing his eyes briefly as if to contain his thoughts. “I’ve always admired you, and now, seeing you in my house, practically teasing me by only wearing one of my shirts,” he trails off, eyes flashing open in the next moment to lock with yours once again, “it’s driving me insane.”

You’re breathing deepens along with his, and you can practically feel the tension in his arms as he keeps you trapped against the counter. 

A smirk tugs at your lips as you continue to stare into his eyes, “do something about it, then.”

“With pleasure,” he all but growls, crashing his lips to yours in the next moment.

The kiss is filled with everything he couldn’t say to you on set, and more. All of his emotions, his desires for you coming through as he deepens the kiss, pulling you as close to him as possible, wanting to feel all of you pressed against him.

You kiss him with just as much passion as he’s kissing you, a fact that sends his head spinning. This means even more to him now since he knows it’s just the two of you. No one else watching, no one else to interrupt.

Breaking away from your lips, he trails his own down your neck, nipping at your skin as he goes, and eliciting the most beautiful noises from your mouth.

“Come on, baby girl,” he groans against your skin, pulling away from you briefly to look into your eyes once more, “as much as I would like to, I’m not going to fuck you in my kitchen for our first time together.”

His words have your heart racing in your chest, your stomach twisting at the thought of what is to come.

Placing another quick kiss onto your lips, he’s grabbing your hand and leading you back upstairs to his room. He closes the door behind him with his foot, opting to lay you down on the bed once you’re close enough to do so.

He has to take a moment to ground himself. He can’t count the amount of times he’s fantasized about something like this happening, and now for it to actually be true, makes him feel as if he’s floating on cloud nine.

He watches as you spread your legs for him, his shirt riding up as more skin on your thighs are revealed to him. He licks his lips, allowing his hands to trail up your legs, feeling every inch of your skin beneath his fingertips. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, letting his hands trail underneath the fabric of the shirt your wearing as he connects your lips once more.

Your hands trail over the expanse of his chest, fingertips dancing across his skin as he grinds into you, letting you feel how hard he is already for you. He feels your hands coming up to tangle in his hair, pulling at the roots in order to bring him closer to you. A fact which has a groan escaping the back of his throat.

“Jin,” he hears you whine his name as your one hand trails down his stomach and to the waistband of his sweats.

His heart skips a beat as he feels you sneak your hand beneath the material of his sweats to cup him, letting your hand pump him a few times before your thumb is teasingly stroking over his tip.

He continues to litter your neck with kisses as he feels you stroking him with your hand, continuing to run your thumb over his tip with each movement of your wrist. Your hand feels better than anything he could have ever imagined, and all too soon, you’re moving your hand away.

Moving his own hands further up your shirt, he grips your breasts, only now realizing you haven’t been wearing a bra this whole time. 

A moan escapes his lips as he runs his thumb over your pert nipples, “baby girl, you’re such a tease.”

“Only for you, baby,” you purr back, smirk dancing on your features as you watch his eyes darken even more.

“I think it’s time we got rid of this, don’t you?” Now it’s his turn to smirk, watching as you sit up so he can pull the shirt you’re wearing off your body, and tossing it to the ground. He takes a moment to admire you, laying bare beneath him, “like I said, beautiful.”

A gasp escapes your lips as you feel his mouth attach to one of your nipples, using his hand to toy with the other as his tongue dances over your skin. He takes his time with each one, eliciting a symphony of sounds out of your mouth for him, and only him to hear.

Locking eyes with you, he trails open mouth kisses down your body, stopping at the top of your panties. Looping a finger beneath the waistband, he teases you by pulling it slightly, only to let it snap back against your skin. The whine you let out only causes him to smirk, but he knows he can’t resist giving you what you want.

After all, he lives to please you.

Ever so slowly, he slides your panties off your legs, tossing them somewhere in his room. Spreading you legs, he licks his lips as he can see your cunt practically dripping with your juices, begging for him to have a taste. However, he can’t resist teasing you a little more.

Running his thumb along your entrance, he collects your wetness, moaning at the sight before him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” he groans, bringing his thumb up to rub at your clit, hearing you moan for him in response.

He continues to stroke your clit as he lays down further on his stomach, head becoming level with your pussy. He finds himself licking his lips before diving in, licking a long strip from your core to your clit.

Closing his eyes, he lets out a moan in bliss. You taste exquisite on his tongue, and he wants more.

Gripping your thighs, he holds your legs open as he devours your pussy, eating you out like a starved man. His tongue laps at your clit before moving back down to your entrance, wanting to taste every part of you that he can.

He can hear your breathing pick up, moans of his name falling from your lips like a mantra as your hands come to tangle in his hair. He focuses his tongue solely on your clit now, sucking it into his mouth before flicking at it with his tongue. He knows you’re getting close, and he wants to watch you fall apart from his tongue. He’ll admit, he’s greedy, and he’ll take everything you offer him tonight.

With a final cry of his name, your back is arching off his bed as your orgasm washes over you. He continues to lap at your pussy, making sure to get every last drop of your essence he can, wanting you to drown in the pleasure only he can provide for you.

You have to pull him away from you in order to get him to stop, and the smirk on his lips tells you that he would have gladly continued if you didn’t pull him away. 

Licking his lips, he crawls back up your body as you guide his lips to yours once more. His breath hitches in his throat as he feels you flip the two of you over, you now resting on top of him.

“You had your fun, now let me have mine,” you smirk down at him as a whine escapes the back of his throat.

Ever so slowly, just like he did to you, you remove his sweats. Taking his cock into your hand, you pump him a few times before lining him up with your entrance.

“Wait,” his voice has you freezing in your movements, worried you might have done something wrong, or overstepped your boundaries. 

You end up breathing a small sigh of relief as you watch him open his bedside drawer, only to pull out a condom shortly after. He grins up at you as the two of you lock eyes, you mirroring his expression soon after.

Ripping open the package, you gently roll the condom onto his length before lining him up with your entrance once more. You rub his tip against your folds a few times to collect your wetness before slowly sinking down onto his cock. 

Moans escape both of your lips as you take all of him into you. His hands are gripping your sides firmly as he feels your walls clenching around him, adjusting to his size. He can barely contain himself, for all he wants to do is make you feel good in this moment, but seeing you above him, mouth open in a silent gasp of pleasure, is enough to have him waiting for you to make the first move.

Ever so slowly, you begin to move your hips. Giving a small rut at first, seemingly testing the waters, you begin grinding down into him with more intensity. You begin to rock back and forth on his cock, setting a sensual pace as he pulls you down to attach his lips to yours once more.

Using his hands to help guide your movements, Jin cannot contain the moans of your name that fall past his lips. This is everything he could have ever hoped for, and more. Seeing you above him like this, to him, there is no greater sight, and the way you call out for him, breathless and needy, sets his heart racing in his chest.

He can feel himself getting closer with each movement you give, but he knows he can’t come just yet. From the way you’re beginning to clench around him, he knows you’re getting close, too, but he wants the two of you to come together for your first time.

Bringing his hand down, he uses his thumb to circle your clit, eliciting a sharp inhale from you, only causing him to smirk.

“That’s it baby, just like that,” he praises, grip tightening on your thigh as he increases the speed of his thumb on your clit.

You can feel the pressure building in your stomach for the second time that evening, and you’re ready to tumble off the cliff of ecstasy once more. Not without him, though.

“Come on, baby,” you stare into his eyes, placing your forehead on top of his. “Come with me.”

Your words have him tumbling over the edge, and he finds himself letting out a loud cry of your name as he feels you spasming around him. He can hardly register the cry of his own name that you let out as you come for him for a second time, over the ringing of his ears. He also doesn’t realize, that in his lust filled haze, he utters three words that he was saving for a later time.

Breathing heavily, you collapse onto his chest, the both of you coming down from your highs. Jin makes sure to wrap you in his arms as you lay on top of his chest, wanting to bask in this moment for as long as he can. He can’t believe that just happened, and he wants to experience your beauty in the afterglow for as long as he can.

He feels you shifting above him, slowly detaching yourself from him as you head to the bathroom to clean yourself up. While you’re gone, he disposes of the condom and slips on a pair his boxers. Laying on the bed, he patiently waits for you to return.

Coming out of the bathroom, he watches your every move as you grab his discarded shirt from the floor, slipping it back over your head before crawling back into his bed with him. Immediately, he’s wrapping you in his arms as your head comes to rest on his chest.

“Wow,” you breath, and he can’t help how his chest fills with pride at your breathless statement. “So,” you begin, turning your head to look up expectantly at him with a smirk dancing across your features, “do you really love me, or was the sex just that good that it was something you said in the moment without realizing it?”

His eyes widen as he looks down at you like a deer in headlights, “uh.”

“Nah, I’m just kidding,” you chuckle, snuggling deeper into his side. “I like you, too.”

He finds himself breathing a slight sigh of relief, and he’s sure you can hear how loud his heart is pounding in his chest at your statement. Bringing his hand up, he brushes some of your hair back from your face.

“I do really like you, (Y/n),” he admits, hearing you hum, waiting for him to continue, “and I would love to pursue an actual romantic relationship with you. That is, if you’ll have me.”

You hum once more, “that depends.”

“On what?” He asks, somewhat nervous to find out what your conditions are.

“You don’t have some secret shrine dedicated to me somewhere in your house, do you?” You look up at him, quirking a brow in amusement.

“Oh god, no,” he laughs, shaking his head.

Those days are behind him. Besides, if the media were to ever find out that he did, they’d have a field day.

“Then I think that can be arranged,” you smile, resting your head on his chest once more.

He falls asleep that night with a smile on his face, and you in his arms. He can’t wait until morning, because now he knows something for sure. You’re his, and nothing is going to change that.

[itsclydebitches]

Thank you for your quick response! It actually helps clear up their thoughts as well, since they did feel that we shouldn't be paying for something that we have to finish/correct ourselves. I actually understand their views better so thank you! Along that line of thought...if the majority of people like the writing but those issues of bad writing still exist (like w/rwby lacking continuity, etc), do you think it would still be "bad writing"? Do you mind if I share your responses w/them?

Of course! You’re probably the only person I’ve ever managed to respond to quickly 😅 By all means feel free to share. I wouldn’t be posting such opinions publicly if I wasn’t already under the assumption that they may spread both here and off tumblr. 

That’s definitely a tricky question. If the majority of people think something is good I don’t necessarily believe that invalidates the minority opinions of bad writing. Simply because some elements - like whether you’ve managed to follow your own lore - are undeniable and we circle right back to whether or not that’s a requirement for a “good” story at all. Some people say yes. Some people say no. Who do we believe? No one has the power to override the other and decide that. 

I used majority opinion in the last ask as a way of laying out how majority = expectations = one way of determining “good”/“bad” writing. However, we can ask why the majority might think this story is good. Is the audience primarily young? Are they at all educated in this medium? Familiar with the genre and thus have numerous other examples to compare it to? Do they know about the social/representation issues that may be impacting the story? Etc. etc. There are a lot of questions here which, notably, don’t mean that the majority is wrong to like the story, only that they’re in a really key position to grow and change their opinion if given the chance. As they get older they might change their mind and consider the story “bad,” when they’ve learned more, spoken to more types of people, engaged with more stories, and the like. Whereas someone who is already in the position of having experienced a great deal is perhaps less likely to change their mind in the other direction and consider the story “good” after once thinking it was “bad.” That’s by no means impossible (especially if you change your qualifications for a “good” story over the years: I used to prioritize consistency but now I only care if the action gets my blood pumping) but - in my experience anyway - I see WAY more people reconsidering stories critically as they grow. Far more situations like, “At 17 I didn’t even notice the plot holes here” and “Before 30 I knew nothing about racial coding and thus didn’t catch why this is a problem” and “That was the first horror movie I got into so I had nothing to compare it to back then.” Rather than “I hated this thing but now I adore it for ____ reason.” Which means that we should consider the majority over time as well. Does the story, to borrow the phrase, stand the test of time? This is why we debate whether racist stories should still be taught in school. Our definition of “good” has changed as we grow as a society. The same happens with individuals. 

To provide an example, this is a huge talking point regarding Fifty Shades of Gray. I apologize because I’m really not sure how to phrase this in a way that doesn’t sound SUPER condescending (and I apologize if you’re a fan of the series! lol) but many believe that those who think the books are “good” simply don’t know enough about certain topics. They haven’t read enough erotic fiction to see how poorly written this sex is (the stereotyped soccer moms reading Fifty Shades as their one (1) naughty treat). They don’t know enough about BDSM to recognize the harmful depictions. Not enough about gender dynamics to recognize that the relationship is abusive rather than romantic. Not enough about the romance genre to recognize that there’s nothing innovative here. Not enough about fandom history to understand why Fifty Shades’ mere existence is offensive to so many. Now, going by the majority, Fifty Shades is a “good” book because it has sold a bajillion (technical term) copies and been turned into a movie series... but a lot of people think that this is a case where the majority is wrong. If the majority knew more about these topics they might get how having those experiences drastically changes your experience of “good” and “bad” literature. Which is precisely why people teach and write about this stuff in the first place. As people existing in the world, we’re constantly learning new things and those things impact how we approach storytelling. Getting the majority to understand certain things - this depiction is offensive to certain groups, this is what a really sexy scene reads like, here’s an example of what a story in this genre could be like - changes their expectations and, by extension, changes the collective’s idea of what is “good” or “bad.” 

All of which isn’t to say that you can’t or shouldn’t adore “bad” things. Or even that (again) people aren’t right to consider them “good” by their own qualifications (personally, I’ve spoken passionately about my love for Jupiter Ascending since my qualifications for “good” in this context differ drastically from many others’). Even beyond that, there’s a reason why the phrase “so bad it’s good” exists because we acknowledge that approaching a text with different expectations - This drama is so poorly acted I’m going to treat it like a comedy - can be rewarding in different ways. Normally it’s near impossible to figure out what the majority opinion even is (whatever sense we have of that absolutely stems from our own social pockets online and in real life) but even things that we conclusively know the vast majority of people hate can be repurposed to be “good” in unexpected ways. 

Atari’s 1982 E.T. is considered one of the worst video games ever made. Now it functions as a very entertaining story about the game industry crash, burying thousands of copies in a New Mexico landfill, and one poor schmuck’s 5 week nightmare (poor Warshaw). So... it depends a lot on your perspective :D 

[aion-rsa]

How Dead by Daylight Gave Slasher Horror Icons The Game They Deserved

https://ift.tt/35lPcEi

If you grew up a gamer in the ‘80s and ‘90s, buying a bad licensed game was a rite of passage. Sure, even young gamers could detect a bomb like Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit! for the SNES from a mile away, but at a time before game reviews were easy to find online, it was natural to hope that the new X-Men game might just be good enough to take a chance on.

The situation was especially rough for horror movie fans. I owned the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th adaptations for the NES and at least tried to finish them. It’s not that I thought they were good, but at a time when licensed horror games (not to mention major console horror games) were few and far between, the opportunity to face off against my favorite movie slasher was too enticing to ignore. 

The industry eventually learned to embrace horror in a meaningful way that resulted in some all-time great gaming experiences, but the slasher movie icons of the day remained tragically underutilized. While original horror series like Silent Hill and Resident Evil expanded the storytelling potential of the medium, Chucky was reduced to starring in a Temple Run knock-off. 

In the minds of many horror fans, the hope for a great game starring Micheal Myers, Freddy Krueger, or Leatherface lingered even as passable adaptations of those characters eluded us for decades. Where was the disconnect?

“I think it probably extends from the fact that they are two very, very different mediums and two very, very different ways of telling stories,” says Mathieu Coté, director of Behaviour Interactive’s hit slasher multiplayer game Dead by Daylight. “The reasons why slasher movies are so successful, and why they make you feel the way that they do, are extremely difficult to translate into gameplay mechanics. I think that probably that’s the root of it.”

The earliest examples of slasher movie games certainly support that theory. In 1983, adaptations of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween were released for the Atari 2600. They offered wildly different experiences (Texas Chainsaw Massacre saw you mow down victims for points while Halloween was all about evading Michael Myers), but each was so bad that you’d sooner be caught smoking weed while having sex at Camp Crystal Lake than playing either for more than a few minutes. 

Even as technology and game design advanced past what was possible on the Atari and NES, slasher icons were still being butchered in ways that would make these killers proud.

“It often felt as if [licenses] were either tacked onto an existing product that didn’t fit or it was just shovelware where the attitude is ‘make a thing and put the name on it,’” Coté says. “Oftentimes the people holding the licenses, and again it’s a matter of those two mediums being so different, but the people holding the licenses to the movies, they know about movies. They don’t know about games. That can make things difficult.”

With Dead by Daylight, Coté’s team sought to capture the essence of the slasher movie and translate that into fun gameplay that actually made sense for the genre. The asymmetrical multiplayer title sees one player assume the role of a killer tasked with eliminating four player-controlled survivors trying to escape the terrifying scenario. Since its release in 2016, Dead by Daylight has been embraced as the definitive horror multiplayer experience. 

Given how difficult it has historically been to make a slasher title, much less one featuring licensed characters, perhaps it should come as no surprise that Dead by Daylight’s origins can be traced to a much simpler concept that didn’t even start out as horror.

“There was a designer working in basically a silo somewhere making little prototypes, and one prototype that he made at some point was literally hide and seek,” Coté remembers. “It was one character that’s trying to accomplish a goal and there was another character that was very powerful. If he touched you, you’re dead.”

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An equally simple tweak would reveal the prototype’s incredible horror potential.

“We put cardboard in between [split screens] and went ‘Oh, my God. This is super fun,” Coté recalls. “The idea of creating a game in which you could play the fantasy of being the villain in a horror movie, that’s a longstanding one…if we put that with the fantasy of a villain in a horror movie, we have a winner.”

The idea of pairing the basic structure of hide and seek with a horror movie villain shows team’s vital understanding of what makes the slasher genre so entertaining in the first place. 

“A lot of effort is put into these [villains], so of course they’re more appealing,” says Dead by Daylight creative director Dave Richard. “I think that’s why we started rooting for them, and we have this enjoyment and guilty pleasure of rooting for the villain. I think that we all have this inside of us at different levels. We’re embracing this macabre thing.”

The team’s fascination with the macabre would slowly turn their experiment into a fully-fledged horror game. 

“The original prototypes showed survivors as literally beheaded silhouettes wearing different colored t-shirts with phrases like virgin, stoner, and jock,” Coté explains. “That’s something that Cabin in the Woods did very, very well, and the early prototype was based on those tropes.”

While Coté and Richard reference meta-horror movies like Cabin in the Woods and mockumentary Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon as early inspirations that helped them contextualize the genre’s key elements, they ultimately turned to foundational films such as Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre when crafting the game’s environments, characters, and other design elements. In those early days, though, few believed that Dead by Daylight would eventually host some of the stars of those films. 

“There were dreams and ambitions, but I don’t think there were thoughts,” Coté says. “We barely expected it to break even after a couple of months. When it started to really explode in the first month or so, we started looking for opportunities.”

The earliest of those opportunities happened to involve arguably the most important slasher of all-time: Michael Myers.

“We were lucky enough to get in contact with some very nice people who are the owners of the original version of Michael Meyers,” Coté explains. “Being able to get the rights to bring in that character and the original Laurie Strode into Dead by Daylight was kind of a big deal. It set the stage because it legitimized us in a certain way.”

For anyone who has followed the history of licensing rights and copyright law (not to mention the aforementioned history of slashers in games), the fact that the team was able to add Michael Myers as a playable killer must conjure an image of a developer clawing their way out of licensing hell with one hand while holding on to Myers with the other. Yet, it sounds like the process wasn’t all that complicated.

“I wouldn’t call it [licensing] hell,” Coté says. “Most of it is actually super interesting, and most of the licenses that we have…we’re dealing with people who get what we’re trying to do. The people who are, as I was saying earlier, more into movies than into video games, tend to trust us to do the right thing.”

Securing Michael Myers was one thing, but now that they had him, the team was faced with the same dilemma that had ruined even noble attempts at building games around these characters in the past.

“We first had to ask ‘What is the fantasy around that character and what is so interesting and unique about these characters?’” Richard recalls. “Of course, most of them have a weapon and they kill, but what’s their special sauce?”

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As Richard explains, Freddy Krueger has a “dream world” and a “fantasy that’s easier to get.” By comparison, Michael Myers is often portrayed as a guy with a mask and a knife. How do you translate that into a game in a way that makes him feel unique?

The answer to that question came in what Coté rightfully describes as a “stroke of genius.” 

“I remember that meeting where we were talking about Halloween and how to make [Michael Myers] unique,” Coté explains. “They pitched us the idea of a killer that would just watch you. We’re like, ‘What?’ They’re like, ‘Yeah, he’s just going to stand there and watch you,’ because that’s what Myers does in the movies. That’s what he does, but it’s an action game. People want to chase each other…We all thought, ‘Oh, you’re an idiot.’”

Yet, when Coté got the chance to actually play an early build of Dead By Daylight with Myers as the killer, he immediately understood what the team was aspiring to achieve.

“The very, very first version of the prototype I remember playing and repairing a generator and looking over my shoulder, and I see him standing on a hill and just watching me, and I go, ‘This is the creepiest thing I’ve ever experienced in this game,’” Coté says. “It’s super creepy, especially knowing it’s an actual other player right there. He could attack me right now, but he chooses to just watch me…that kind of thing made me realize the liberties we could take with the gameplay mechanics to really create something that would be unique and special.”

For the next few years, that’s exactly what the team did. They bent the rules of the game to incorporate other famous slashers. Freddy Krueger dragged Dead by Daylight players to dream world while Saw’s Amanda Young turned the game’s traps into a gambling proposition. Leatherface’s devastating attacks impacted a survivor’s ability to carry on and Ghost Face’s playfulness and humor distinguishes him from one of his major inspirations, Michael Myers himself. Through it all, the team’s goal was to stay true to the legacy of these characters and give them a proper home. 

“I love Mortal Kombat, but whenever a character gets imported to Mortal Kombat, they all turn into martial artists,” Coté says. “When you put Jason in Mortal Kombat, he becomes a martial artist and he hacks people, and then he does a finishing move and it’s awesome, but that’s it. When you take Michael Myers and put him in Dead by Daylight, he’s Michael Myers.”

Of course, Dead by Daylight’s roster of killers doesn’t just include an array of adaptations. At launch, the game boasted three original killers: The Trapper, The Wraith, and The Hillbilly. The Trapper was, by the team’s admission, based on Jason Vorhees and The Hillbilly certainly resembled Leatherface. It was in The Wraith, a desperate figure whose pursuit of a job saw him become an unwilling executioner, that the team found their first truly great original creation.

“For us, it was important that one of the killers was inspired by more of a cultural idea, and that was The Wraith,” Richard notes. “You don’t see The Wraith archetype in movies. It really comes from horror culture and cultural monsters more than movies.”

That desire to explore every corner of horror rather than just retread film successes is a big part of the reason why Dead by Daylight’s original killers are among its most popular. In fact, the team draws inspiration from such a wide array of sources that it’s possible some players may feel the impact of these original creations more intensely than others. 

“The Huntress is heavily inspired by Eastern European folklore and mythology,” Coté says. “For some of our players, especially Russian and Ukrainian players, they were immediately, completely freaked out because she’s humming a song that their mothers sang to them when they were a kid. It was really like it hit way too close for some of them, and it was great. It made them feel things, but for Japanese players or Brazilian players who had no cultural link to that, it was still an impressive and terrifying character because what scares people is visceral and universal”

While Dead by Daylight’s original killers stand tall against horror’s heavyweights, the game’s most impressive contribution to the slasher genre may just be its emphasis on the personalities and attributes of its survivors. Early builds of the premise portrayed survivors as Merrily We Roll Along rejects wearing self-identifying sweaters, but the game eventually began treating survivors with the same reverence as killers. 

“Survivors have been the learning experience, to say the least,” Richard confesses. “When we created the original characters, we wanted them to have real stories and personalities, but also to be relatable. I’m going to say a word I don’t like so much, but it’s almost like they’re shells that the players can identify with and easily become.”

Dead by Daylight’s emphasis on the unique qualities of its survivors helped it outlive (pun proudly intended) other asymmetrical multiplayer games, but even Behaviour Interactive found itself having to reckon with some of the stereotypes that plague even the best slasher movies. 

“The fact is that a lot of those [early character designs] are stereotypes that convey, let’s say, cultural tropes that don’t need to continue to exist in today’s society,” Coté admits. “For us, it was more interesting to create characters that feel like someone you could stand behind in a coffee shop and not blink because they’re regular people. They’re people you can relate to.”

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While Dead by Daylight’s roster of survivors features a few imports (such as Halloween’s Laurie Strode and Evil Dead’s Ash), the team reveals that “licensed survivors are much harder to find than killers,” largely because they still want the game’s survivor’s to feel overwhelmed by the stalkers. Coté specifically notes that it wouldn’t make sense for someone like John Wick or Arnold Schwarzenegger to be hanging helplessly from a hook. Yet, they also don’t feel like the legacy and value of a horror hero should be defined by their ability to play offense. 

“All of them are serial survivors,” Coté says of the game’s characters. “They continue to win, which is impressive, given the challenges they face.”

Besides, as millions of fans who have shouted at the screen at a horror film can attest to, the fates of Dead by Daylight’s survivors really come down to the players themselves.

“We always wanted to make it so that if you die in Dead by Daylight, it’s because you did something dumb or you panicked and didn’t stick to the plan,” Coté says. “Obviously the killers are extremely powerful, but most of the time [survivors lose] because someone panicked or was careless and got cocky and didn’t make good decisions.”

The ability to test your mettle against a slasher legend is one of Dead by Daylight’s more interesting examples of meta brilliance, but its most notable meta mechanic is the presence of The Entity, the invisible hand that pulls characters from different horror universes into the game. It’s a subtle, yet vital, story component inspired by another horror legend. 

“The main inspiration for The Entity was actually The Dark Tower,” Richard recalls. “Many of us on the team are fans of the work of Stephen King, and when we deep dove into The Dark Tower, it was a favorite. The way every book in the Stephen King universe links together and is tied up with The Dark Tower was the inception of the idea of The Entity.”

The Entity is the core component of the game’s surprisingly strong lore, which not only offers compelling backstories for nearly every survivor, setting, and killer but even adds a few new chapters for licensed universes like the Scream series. 

In many other multiplayer games, that lore would be little more than an easter egg debated over on Wiki pages and fan forums. But in Dead by Daylight, the commitment to meaningful storytelling is a core component of the ambition which defines Behaviour Interactive’s mission. 

“Every time we create more of our lore, we solidify what Dead by Daylight is and the universe around it,” Coté explains. “It’s not just to be able to bring in anything, but to be able to create a universe into which all of these things can exist and make sense.”

While the team’s commitment to lore may help bolster their pitches to rights holders, their commitment to ensuring that Dead by Daylight’s growth adheres to an internal logic also speaks to the team’s confidence that they can give nearly any slasher a home. 

“I’d say that a few [killers] still elude our grasp, and it’s mostly due to the fact that someone thinks they can make a standalone game for them, or they are working on one,” Coté says. “Anybody who’s got a little bit of experience in video games can tell you that recreating the magic of Dead by Daylight and that sort of balanced chaos is a terrifying prospect. It’s certainly not a simple thing to recreate.”

There’s a sincerity to that statement which encapsulates so many of the reasons why Dead by Daylight was not only able to secure slashers and survivors who could easily star in their own games but do justice to them within the framework of an experience that wasn’t designed to accommodate those legends in the first place.

After all, if the bad old days of slasher games and adaptations were defined by limitations and indifference, then Dead by Daylight succeeds because it takes nothing for granted. Its team carefully crafted a scenario that invoked the pure pleasure of the slasher genre and then spent years studying the ins and outs of these characters and worlds in order to better understand what makes them work beyond the superficial pleasure of their mere presence. It’s an involved process that doesn’t work for everyone.

“We’ve had a couple of cases of people on the development team that, maybe after a year or something, they go, ‘You know what? I think I’ve had enough.’” Coté admits. “Especially 3D artists who keep looking at references of grizzly things all the time, and most of them, they’re just having a blast…but I’m thinking of one or two examples of people who were like ‘You know what? I need to go and work on something with unicorns and kittens.’ That’s fair. That’s absolutely fair.”

The amount of work that goes into a game like Dead by Daylight may ultimately scare off other developers who would dare give legendary slashers their own games, but as long as we have Dead by Daylight, at least a few horror icons will always have a home. 

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“It used to be that we were hoping that people who hold the licenses to these legends would allow us to bring them into our world,” Coté says. “Nowadays, the conversations oftentimes revolve around asking them if they’re big enough to make it into the hall of fame that is Dead by Daylight…It’s the place for horror to come by and live.”

The post How Dead by Daylight Gave Slasher Horror Icons The Game They Deserved appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2HnrM8R

[militant-holy-knight]

American Founder and second U.S. president John Adams once extolled his era. Some called it The Age of Reason. It was a time in which people were beginning to know more about their world than they ever had before. Knowledge was increasing at an exponential rate, and this filled the air with excitement. The Old World – Christendom, led by the Catholic Church – was on its way out. The Enlightenment was well underway to shape the West forever. Adams, a Unitarian, was greatly pleased that men would be able to lead their lives and their own society on the basis of their own conscience.

He then less than halfway joked that, just maybe, something bad might arise from the movement of his day:

“The world grows more enlightened. Knowledge is more equally diffused. Newspapers, magazines, and circulating libraries have made mankind wiser. Titles and distinctions, ranks and orders, parade and ceremony, are all going out of fashion. This is roundly and frequently asserted in the streets, and sometimes on theatres of higher rank. Some truth there is in it; and if the opportunity were temperately improved, to the reformation of abuses, the rectification of errors, and the dissipation of pernicious prejudices, a great advantage it might be. But, on the other hand, false inferences may be drawn from it, which may make mankind wish for the age of dragons, giants, and fairies.”

Indeed, a great many false inferences were drawn from the Enlightenment. This period in history, which shaped America herself, started a downward spiral for the West that appears to have no end. Adams was right. In spite of himself and everything he achieved for the United States, times have definitely grown darker, and the cause for our empire’s downfall can be traced to its own blueprints.

As a result, the people in our day have a great need for escape. Over two centuries later, men find themselves at odds in a hateful world ruled by principalities and powers that are insurmountable. The people have been force-fed “the progress of civilization.” So now there are vast entertainment industries that produce escapist literature, film, music, and games to help people flee from the madness of their overlords. Over the centuries, they’ve carried the label of Romantics, Decadents, Symbolists, Counter-Culturists – they all run from the oppressive boot that shoves them onward to a destiny they didn’t ask for. They seek to escape from forced rationalism into something mystical.

Our Imaginations Must Be Free, Not Trapped

The mind can tolerate a wasteland for only so long. Men require a pilgrimage and retreat. Otherwise, one settles for vice and debasement. Experiencing wonder is necessary for a mature mind. It is not enough to be raised in a plain fashion, learning good moral habits to live by as if it’s all a simple matter of hygiene. Becoming a lawyer for “what’s good and what’s bad” does not securely instill the Faith in children, who, above all, are in the business of make-believe. No, we must leave the districts and subdivisions gerrymandered in our brains. We must fly above the rooftops from our suburban bobo communities. We’ve got to run for our lives into something fresh, new, and perhaps even dangerous:

“At first they had passed through hobbit-lands, a wide respectable country inhabited by decent folk, with good roads, an inn or two, and now and then a dwarf or a farmer ambling by on business. Then they came to lands where people spoke strangely, and sang songs Bilbo had never heard before. Now they had gone on far into the Lone-lands, where there were no people left, no inns, and the roads grew steadily worse. Not far ahead were dreary hills, rising higher and higher, dark with trees. On some of them were old castles with an evil look, as if they had been built by wicked people. Everything seemed gloomy, for the weather that day had taken a nasty turn. Mostly it had been as good as May can be, can be, even in merry tales, but now it was cold and wet. In the Lone-lands they had been obliged to camp when they could, but at least it had been dry.”

–From The Hobbit

Perhaps it is true that people are considered respectable when they “never have adventures or do anything unexpected.” Maybe it is true that the majority of people value someone who never breaks a taboo and can be counted on to be consistent and predictable. And, after all, even Puritan-loving John Adams will tell you that obscure men are hardly ever honored. Conformity and monotony are what the world tells you it wants. But this mode of dry, uninspiring, Dudley-Do-Right, unimaginative thinking is like planting seeds in depleted soil:

“[T]he seminal ideas of Plato, Aristotle, St. Augustine, St. Thomas, only properly grow in an imaginative ground saturated with fables, fairy tales, stories, rhymes, romances, adventures–the thousand good books of Grimm, Andersen, Stevenson, Dickens, Scott, Dumas and the rest. Western tradition, taking all that was the best of the Greco-Roman world into itself, has given us a culture in which the Faith properly grows; and since the conversion of Constantine that culture has become Christian. It is the seedbed of intelligence and will, the ground for all studies in the arts and sciences, including theology, without which they are inhumane and destructive. The brutal athlete and the aesthetic fop suffer vices opposed to the virtues of what Newman called the “gentleman.” Anyone working in any art or science, whether “pure” or “practical,” will discover he has made a quantum leap when he gets even a small amount of cultural ground under him; he will grow like an undernourished plant suddenly fertilized and watered.”

–Ryan Topping, Renewing the Mind

There has been a war against fantasy, a war against wonder. And yet, those who wonder and philosophize are superior to those who despair cluelessly. And only someone who does not know everything has the capability to wonder. Therefore, what better place is there to explore than fantasy? The realm of fantasy is a place accessible to all, and as it is ever changing, we can never hope to know everything about it. The Land of Faerie, as Tolkien called it, transports and uplifts us. It renews us. It waters the soil of our minds, and it serves as a much needed respite from the godless demands of the world.

Fantasy’s Ultimate Effect

John Adams ridiculed imagination. He joked that Shakespeare could have been an electioneering agent. In his view, “superstition, prejudices, passions, fancies, and senses” were weaknesses to be manipulated, preventing you from ever having what he considered liberty. Adams believed that fantastical thinking was forced upon the West in order to control the people. This is all a grievous error. “For God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty” (1 Corinthians 1:27).

It is the imagination that enables us to survive in today’s wicked world. We have a sense of wonder that rationalists like Adams cannot understand. This sense of wonder is what prepares us for understanding the wider world and what it means. The vast majority of people who fall away from the Faith or refuse to consider it lack wonder. As a result, you have a large portion of people in the West who fall into hedonism. They try to numb their own senses as they struggle to follow the crowd – as though they were swimming among a school of fish.

“Fantasy, horror, and science fiction, apart from allowing an author to comment on things in a way he normally could not in mainstream writing (so much of which is garbage anyway) – it breeds a sense of wonder. And ladies and gentlemen, if you do not have a sense of wonder, you cannot really understand the Catholic faith. You’ll just be ‘Oh well, the bread and wine turn into the body and blood of Christ.’ You may actually believe that, but if you don’t have a sense of wonder?

“Listen, ladies and gentlemen, what is more amazing? The idea that with a wand I could wave, everything would start dancing around the room? Or that Christ Himself comes down onto the altar and becomes bread and wine that we are able to receive into ourselves? Which is more wondrous?

“If I already have a sense of wonder, then I can look at this incredible gift that God has given us. And the fact [is] that every single Mass that has ever been, or ever will be, or is being said at this moment across the globe is one with every other – and with the Crucifixion, and with the Last Supper. That’s astonishing. That’s absolutely amazing. And I have a sense of wonder that prepared me for that – to make it go from a mere set of things I learned in school and home to being a living reality that dominates my life. …

“[U]nless we approach our faith with that wondrous quality, it will grow old and tired. That is not a fault of the Faith. That’s our fault.”

–Charles Coulombe, “Off the Menu,” July 16, 2018

Being good “to be good” is not enough. John Adams thought so, but his Puritanical sensibility was mistaken. Man lives his life on a quest. He is not meant to run from his imagination and all that is mystical. He is meant to explore with awe and curiosity. His heart is meant to be lifted, not shackled.

A strange and exciting land lies before man when it comes to fantasy. We go to that place because it presages the Land Beyond we all hope to emigrate to, Heaven itself. “And Jesus calling unto him a little child, set him in the midst of them, and said: Amen I say to you, unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:2-3).

[rachelthompsonauthor]

The past two quarantine months have been like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime, and I turned 56 in January. So rather than regurgitate what you’ve likely read in the news or on social media, I’ve decided to share how I’ve spent my time these past two months along with random thoughts. I hope you’ll continue along with me as I share what I’m doing each week.

Books

Oh, how I’ve missed reading! With my business so insanely busy (for which I’m truly grateful) these past few years, I’ve barely had time to read little more than Slack, emails, texts, and social media updates. Not exactly satisfying for this lifelong, avid reader. This quarantine has allowed me a little bit of extra time, which I’ve put to good use.

In no particular order, here’s what I’ve read: 

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow is fantastic. Read it in one sitting because I didn’t want any of the details of this lacy, incredibly intricate work to fade. I highly recommend it. A mix of fantasy, drama, and a love story (because in the end, aren’t all stories love stories?), anyone with a working brain will love this novel.

  Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng is also superb. I’d heard about this book for a while, yet only got around to it because it’s also now a mini-series on Hulu (which I watched afterward – also very good, though the character arcs and the plot changed in crucial, at times startling, ways).

Curious if you’ve read the book and watched the series, what your thoughts are? I could write an entire post about it, yet I’ll only share this…

As a child, my parents hire a housekeeper. My folks both work full-time and we are not in any way rich or well-off. Neither of my folks has college degrees – Dad is an assistant manager at a chain drugstore and Mom has just completed x-ray tech school and works nights at San Bernardino County Hospital. We live in a small house on a long street in the smoggy Inland Empire of California.

There are two of us, my older sister and me. Then my mom gets pregnant when I’m nine and has my baby sister when I’m ten. My folks advertise for a housekeeper and Miss Louise answers. She’s African American and willing to work for the little they can pay her. She smokes a lot (outside only, so as “not to hurt the babies”), insists on wearing a uniform though my mom tells her it isn’t necessary and comes looking for us in her big old white Caddy if we aren’t home from school exactly 20 minutes after it lets out.

(Miss Louise’s husband’s name is George. If you are alive in the 70s and watch The Jeffersons, you understand why this is an endless source of amusement to my sister Caren and me.)

Being that young, neither Caren nor I understand what privilege means. We didn’t get whatever we wanted because my parents are always strapped, yet there is food on the table, and the lights are always on. Except for the occasional venture to Disneyland or Knott’s Berry Farm that one time (mom hated it), our vacations consist of driving to visit our Zayde (great-grandfather) in a nursing home in Santa Cruz, or some other relatives we don’t know somewhere in L.A. (I remember one great-aunt who drank. A lot.) We’d always stop at Cantor’s for a soup and sandwich (the highlight for us), and be back on the road. We don’t mind because it is anywhere but home.

Anyway – my entire point is that in Little Fires Everywhere – the show – Kerry Washington’s Mia is an artist who takes a maid job with Reese Witherspoon’s Elena Richardson’s family to keep an eye on her daughter Pearl, who is quite taken with the teenage Richardson clan. The racial and financial dichotomy is blatantly obvious: a rich family who’s seemingly got it all vs. a seemingly poor black single mother, which adds to the ‘fires’ mentioned in the title.

The book really made me think about my own privilege and despite how well my folks treated Louise, and how much we loved her, and she us, there would always be that wall. Granted, it was a business arrangement and my folks paid her for her services, and in truth, anyone could’ve answered the housekeeping ad. The fact that she was African American and we were white created a racial divide that’s undeniable.

The third book I read is Certain Cure by Jennifer Valoppi, also excellent. It’s the first in a series (parts two and three aren’t out yet, darn it). The novel chronicles the life of three generations of the Cummings family; Claire, a woman in her 70s who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, Helene, her television journalist daughter and Justin, the teenage grandson whose adoration of his “Grams” leads him to discover the dark secret behind the miracle technology that is not only curing Claire of her cancer but tempting his mother with eternal youth, as traditional medical industries wage war against the mysterious doctor from China who threatens them all.

I had no idea what to expect with this one, and I’m glad I read it. Valoppi is a former TV journalist from NYC so she knows her stuff. I’m not particularly religious (or scientific), yet I didn’t find either the science or religious stuff bogged me down.  Fascinating read. I highly recommend it.

Movies and Shows

Gosh, so many. With four of us in the house (and two teens), it’s worth it to me to pay for Hulu and Netflix, Amazon Prime Video comes with my Amazon Prime membership already, plus my internet plan comes with AT&T Direct, Showtime, HBO, and other premium channels. For the amount of entertainment, it’s worth the money.

I watch movies and shows on my iPad at night, once I’m finally off my computer. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like a super loud TV with stereo surround-sound barking at me after a long day of noise and stress. So I go upstairs to my cozy bed, surround myself with blankets and pillows and cats, and snuggle in for a few hours to watch a movie or a few episodes of something I enjoy.

Another note: not a big ‘reality TV’ watcher, mostly because, as a writer, I prefer well-written shows. I also don’t like the negativity and yelling normally associated with those shows. That said, I do watch Vanderpump Rules (on Bravo) with my daughter (age 20). We bond.

Shows

Here’s what I’ve binged these past few quarantine months, show-wise (no links because you can Google):

Ray Donovan – ggggggreat! Heard it was wonderful, yet truly had no idea how awesome. Liev Schrieber is captivating as Ray. Flawed, human, sad, and, in case you don’t know, a childhood sexual abuse survivor (church abuse). I had no idea going in this would be a theme of the show, yet it was handled with care and truth. The entire supporting cast is also amazing. Every season is great. Watch it all. I hated to see it end.

Homeland – the first four or so seasons were mesmerizing. Then, I got bored. This last season had me falling asleep and then WHAM! that ending. Worth it.

Hunters – Good, not fantastically great. The twist in the last episode will get you, though.

Upload – Loved it! Thought it would be silliness (and in some places, it was, but that’s okay – we need a little silliness right now). Had a ton of heart which I love.

Bosch – come on, it’s Titus Welliver. He’s fantastic. This last season didn’t draw me in as much as the entire rest of the series, though. You?

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel – terrific, all of it. Every season, every episode, every character.

Tales From The Loop – amazing. Anything having to do with time-travel or the bending of time, I’m a total sucker for. This hurt my brain in a good way.

The Feed – weird but good and thought-provoking.

Dark – by far, my favorite show year. A German show dubbed in English (you get used to it – don’t let that scare you off), this time-bending, decade-moving hit show spans two seasons and every episode is worth watching. And the music – my god. Amazing. Here’s a Spotify playlist link.

Movies

Parasite – thought-provoking. Took a while to get into it and then boom! It just goes full-on insanity. Well-written, well-acted, and the message of the movie is just, wow. No spoilers in case you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.

Hustlers – loved it. Whatever issues people have with strip clubs and ‘dancers,’ get over it. These girls are amazingly talented, are in amazing shape, and work hard to make money for their families. What I loved the most about the movie is that it’s all about the women; the men are only there as a plot device. It’s a movie entirely shot through the ‘female gaze’ (though of course, men will enjoy the dance scenes which are sexy, yet not unclothed). How many movies can say that?

Memento – I think I’m probably one of the few people who had never seen this neo-noir psychological thriller starring Guy Pearce looking like Brad Pitt (who was originally considered for the role). It was great, I think? LOL. My brain still hurts.

Call Me By Your Name – Lovely, sad, gorgeous. (And I will not make a juvenile peach joke.) And the music! Oh, my.

Zombieland – I hate zombies, I hate horror movies. I hate gore and squishy sounds. This movie was cute. (Not ready for the sequel, yet.)

Music

As mentioned above, the music in Dark sent me off on a ‘who are these talented musicians?’ lark. I’ve discovered so many. Here is who I’m listening to right now (all free on Spotify) and links provided here:

Apparat (you’ll recognize the opening theme of Dark and stay for the rest).

Agnes Obel – wondrous. I’ve played her entire catalog repeatedly since discovering her music on Dark. She’s become a commercial favorite as well now. Familiar is the song used in the show that’s received the most play.

Alev Lanz – otherworldly. I’ve not heard anyone like her. Her songs on the Dark soundtrack and Black Mirror are what she’s most noted for (May The Angels, and Fall Into Me, respectively), however, I love all of her work. Her harmonies are like nothing else. One song is layered with her voice and African throat singers – it’s gorgeous (May The Angels). She’s active on Twitter and we’ve interacted a few times. She’s beautifully transparent about her love of music and it shows in all her work.

Patrick Watson – I heard this song, Good Morning Mr. Wolf, on the Ray Donovan soundtrack and immediately clicked my SoundHound app. Who is this talented being? This song, in particular, sounds so large and cinematic – I wondered – is he is a film composer? (yes). A band? (yes). And so much more. I cannot get enough of all of his music, and still, I play this one song on repeat – repeatedly.

London Grammar – I discovered this band a few years ago and still adore them. Strong is still my favorite song, though Rooting For You is a close second. Hannah Reid’s vocals are big and beautiful.

Hilary Woods – ethereal and lovely. Especially the song Kith.

Sufjan Stevens – many of us just discovered him from the movie Call Me By Your Name soundscore, however, he’s been a working musician since the early 2000s. Talented beyond.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. I made a Female Rockers list on Spotify which you’re welcome to.

Thoughts on Quarantine

My Business

Living in California, I’ve barely left the house in two months, with the exception of going to the pharmacy for meds or for the occasional physician appointment for me or the kids, because of the quarantine restrictions in place. And I’m okay with that.

I’m fortunate that my business is primarily online-only: I work with authors and small businesses on their branding, marketing, and promotion, so given that all real-life events are off the table, I’ve been quite busy working with my clients to ensure their products and services are still viable.

This doesn’t mean I don’t need help as a small business. I applied for an SBA loan and couldn’t even get onto the website the first time – it was pretty ridiculous – like the end scene in Beetlejuice. You all know who those first small business loans went to, right? Not small-potatoes people like me. So the second time around, it went much smoother, and I’m grateful to have received a small loan which will definitely help me keep going with rent, insurance, and other expenses.

I still did my annual non-profit initiative for writers, NaNoProMo (National Novel Promotion Month) this year over on my business site, BadRedhead Media, yet only for two weeks instead of the entire month. Daily blog posts from experts on everything publishing-related plus amazing giveaways. It’s always exhausting, yet I find enormous gratification in helping writers.

This year, however, getting writers to comment to win amazing, FREE giveaways was like pushing a house up a hill. I get it – people are focused on putting food on the table instead of commenting on blog posts, even if the giveaways were worth $500. That’s why I wanted to do this initiative this year – to help writers who are in a jam – yet only a smattering of writers participated.

I’m seriously rethinking if I want to do it next year given the financial cost as well as the personal toll. My first therapist, who I started seeing after I gave birth to my daughter Anya (I was terrified to leave her to go back to work, given my history with childhood sexual abuse), gave me this tip whenever I had trouble deciding whether to do something:

“If you ever aren’t sure if you should do something, ask yourself this question: Is this good for Rachel? If the answer is yes, do it. If the answer is no, don’t. It really is that simple.”

Self-care, y’all.

Social Media

I’ve stopped interacting with the crazies on social media (and who knows, maybe you’re one of them so truly, no offense), but I’d rather stay safe and keep my family safe by working exclusively at home – which I mostly do anyway – than venture back into face-to-face meetings with clients. I support four people with my business and if something happens to me, four people are doomed.

So the answer is simple to me: stay home, work from home, and don’t risk dying from this virus.

I don’t buy into any of this ridiculous conspiracy crap. Sorry, not sorry. You can if you want to. Spending time arguing with people online about it takes away time from my business, my kids, my guy, and my own sanity. Speaking of which…

Mental Health

There were a few mix-ups with my meds when this all started, and I couldn’t get my prescriptions filled and delivered before I ran out, so I ended up having about a week of insomnia which I’ve never had to deal with. I was a zombie (the non-squishy kind) and it sucked.

If you have insomnia, I’m sorry. I feel for you.

It’s all straightened out now, thank goodness. My son Lukas and I donned our masks and drove to the local CVS the other day because I couldn’t wait two days for my meds to be delivered. It felt like walking into a dystopian future walking in there: everyone in masks, tape six feet apart for the waiting line, plexiglass between us and the cashiers.

I’m thankful for these measures, of course, and wonder how long we’ll need them, or if this is our new normal?

My Writing

I finished the final edits on Broken People and sent it back to my editor. She’s had some health issues, so the delay is understandable. To be honest, I’m not in a huge hurry to launch a new book right now. Here are the questions that run through my mind:

Do people have money to purchase a new book?

If they do, will they want to read my new book?

If they do want to read my new book, will they take the money they do have to read mine, and then review it?

Does it even matter in the grand scheme of life? 

I’m an author just like any author – I want to get my work out there so people can read it, engage with it, connect with me. I hope they’ll like it, feel something, reflect on their own lives, learn something new, particularly about being a childhood sexual abuse survivor. It’s a weird limbo to be in right now.

Our New Normal

This phrase is bandied about quite a lot yet let’s face it: it’s life as we know it, now. The anxiety is real, too. I haven’t hugged or kissed my elderly parents who live two miles away in two months. I bring them toilet paper and cookies from our favorite bakery (drive up and trunk drop off, pay online only) and drop it on their porch.

All these scenarios run through my mind: If I go to do this, what happens if? I know I’m not the only one. And yet, we can’t predict anything. So I sit here, writing this post, safe inside my little house bubble, grateful I can pay my rent, put food on the table (delivered by Instacart, thankfully), and everyone around me is healthy.

What’s your new normal? What have you been reading, watching, and listening to? If you’ve stuck it out this far, I thank you. Would love to hear your comments! Safe hugs, y’all. 

***

Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

                The post This is How To Spend Quarantine With Me appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

via Rachel Thompson

[loki-zen]

Personal; probably avoid if you don’t want to read about transphobia today; me being honest about what I feel is in my brain without filtering too much for how internet strangers might interpret it; sorry Sophia

I realised something.

There was a certain ‘thing’ (literally don’t know how else to describe this) that I have always had that I had attributed to like subconscious societally-ingrained transphobia/transmisogyny, but which I think I have just realised is something else.

Which is that, like, internally, I feel like I don’t really ‘count’ trans female representation (in pop culture, or whatever, but I also had a twinge of it when someone said something about a controversy over a womens’ representative in an organisation being a trans woman) as female representation. Or rather - representation of me. I feel the same way towards it as I would, idk, BAME representation; I support it and consider it a good thing, but it doesn’t feel like a personal ‘yay’ in the same way.

And, I feel a vague indefinable sorta all-else-being-equal anti-attraction-in-a-friendship-sense to binary trans people I have met or who I know? Like it’s not a strong thing at all and totally doesn’t get in the way of forming friendships with individuals, it’s just a similar sense to like... if I meet someone and they’re wearing a football top, I’m prepared to be proved wrong, but I have a small prior for ‘I am not going to personally feel a deep connection with this person; they are probably not going to be the person in this group I become closest to.’

And with everything that I’ve read about having all of these prejudices we have to unlearn, it made perfect sense that this was that.

Whereas in actual fact, I think it was this:

Re: representation - I perceive myself as a member of a category I’ll call ‘Category X’ (chromosome joke unintentional) defined by these traits:

stuck with the kind of body that, without extensive remodelling, people are going to perceive as female, and then people are going to decide all kinds of nonsense about you based on that and it’s really tiresome, and they expect you to do things to it to pretty it up; like society put you in a box marked ‘woman’ and decided prettiness was the rent you had to pay to be there, etc etc, sexualised or denigrated but always viewed in sexual terms just for possessing the unchosen physical features that you have...

stuck with the kind of body that (in theory) can get pregnant, and subject to all of the ways societies still underserve and pathologise that kind of body, and possessor of the physical traits common(er) in that kind of body.

I do not consider myself a member of a category defined by any one or combination of these traits:

has a gender identity, and that identity is female

is, in some sort of cosmic or internal sense, or any sense that doesn’t just mean ‘member of category x who has not made the choice to transition or publicly identify as something else’, a ‘woman’, whatever that is

feels a connection to a mystical womanforce, possesses ‘feminine intuition’, is From Venus, or is anything other than in one of two overlapping Bell Curves

feels a natural connection to or identification with traits and values deemed ‘feminine’, or has a natural talent in abilities deemed ‘feminine’, to the extent that, when confounding variables are accounted for, ‘femininity’ or ‘masculinity’ has any predictive value in guessing whether this person will possess a given trait, value or talent. (I consider upbringing, physical traits and to some degree brain chemistry to be ‘confounding variables’ for this purpose; if AMAB!Loki would have given up on sewing due to teasing, hands that are too big, or even some sorta genetic or hormonal tendency toward being less manually dexterous*, that counts. Don’t @ me. Or do, I don’t care.) 

So I guess, when it comes to representation, it is literally true that a trans woman can be representation of a group that needs more representation, but not a group I feel personally a part of. I see ‘hell yeah, about time’, but I don’t get that same thing of ‘hey look somebody actually like me gets to do the thing’, and that kinda makes sense when I break it down like this.

When it comes to individuals, I assume that what my brain is doing is going:

Apparently cis person - we have no information on whether this person has a gender or cares about it

Person who I know, for whatever reason, is transgender - this person definitely has a gender that they care about so much that they will intentionally brave the horror of ‘people paying attention to your gender’ in order to express it, and I understand that exactly as much as I understand being into football

I think the still-unspoken assumption on the personal level, however, is that preferences/beliefs/internal landscapes that I find incomprehensible are necessarily a reason to feel that it is unlikely that I will become close to/form a good connection with someone.

It might simply be that it feels like more work.

-----------Side note: I wrote this as an aside and it got too long and ruined the rhythm of the thing but my brain vomited it forth so I had to include it----------

This class of people (category x) do and have experienced some phenomenal societal shit-canning around the world and throughout history, and this still needs addressing. We’re massively underrepresented in many industries including entertainment, on both sides of performing/creating, because of structural problems that date back to our being legally barred in many cases, and this should be corrected.  

This is true irrespective of the (additional) struggles of trans people. Whether they are in this category, or not in it. Or once were, but did the extensive remodelling, and kinda still have to deal with the second bit but feel freer from the first now. Or who have found that nowadays they have the first trait and that’s not fun to deal with on top of everything else, or who wish they had either or both of those traits despite the problems that come with them. Or who wish they had them solely because people keep telling them they can’t be who they know they are if they don’t. Or who have additional complicated feelings related to the whole mess. Etc. Other categories of people have problems as well. People in this category can be privileged on other axes. Nothing about the paragraph before this one aims to deny any of this.

--------------------------

edited cuz I’m a dingus and accidental wrote my real name

[thefilmsnob]

Glen Coco’s Top 10 films of 2019

2019 was one of the better movie years I’ve experienced. It was no 2007 or 2013--we all know that--but it was pretty damn good. People who say ‘they just make crap nowadays’ probably aren’t really into movies and are definitely out to lunch. Dammit, now I want lunch. Anyway, here are my picks for the ten best films of 2019 which, as always, follow my runners-up and the traditional bonus track...There’s always a bonus track. 

Runners-Up

-Bombshell

-Booksmart Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/185427895290/booksmart-out-of-5

-Ford v Ferrari

-The Irishman

-Joker Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/188571262775/joker-out-of-5

-Parasite

-The Peanut Butter Falcon

-The Two Popes

And here are my top 10!

#10b. (Bonus Track) Avengers: Endgame

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, the rest of Hollywood

Maybe, like some people in the industry, you don’t consider Marvel films to be ‘cinema’. Well, that’s a legitimate and long debate for another time. But, you can’t say that weaving a narrative through 22 related films isn’t an impressive feat. That’s what Marvel Studios did and with the help of the Russo Brothers, and despite the countless moving pieces, they ended this chapter of the franchise almost perfectly with just the right balance of action, human drama, twists, turns and some surprisingly poignant moments. If you didn’t get goosebumps--and maybe even pee your pants a bit--when those portals opened up at the end, bringing to mind Gandolf’s triumphant entrance into the Battle of Helm’s Deep, then maybe movies just aren’t for you, my friend. 

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/184694412545/avengers-endgame-out-of-5

#10. Marriage Story

Director: Noah Baumbach

Starring: Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson

Ironically, Marriage Story is actually about a divorce. But, writer/director Noah Baumbach imbues this civil-turned-nasty separation with all the complexity and aggravation that come with being married with child. He treats the divorce like the grueling process you’d expect it to be, one which involves real, flawed people whose needs and desires don’t align, making the situation increasingly distressing for all parties involved. In turn, Driver and Johansson make this distress increasingly palpable for the audience until it feels like we’re in the room with them during one of their several heated arguments. Both actors give some of the best work of their careers, yet it still may be overshadowed by Laura Dern and Ray Liotta who shine as the two ruthless lawyers representing them. Baumbach has been churning out these gems for years, but his latest, which may be his most accessible, may also be his best so far. 

#9. Jojo Rabbit

Director: Taika Waititi

Starring: Roman Griffin Davis, Thomasin McKenzie, Scarlett Johansson

What do you get when you mix Nazi Germany, the ghost of Hitler and a poor Jewish girl trying to survive the second World War? You get one of the funniest and most touching movies of the year, of course. The surging writer/actor/director Taika Waititi, who specializes in quirky films filled with quirkier characters, hasn’t made the typically grim melodrama about Nazi Germany nor is he doing anything close to promoting Nazi culture. Instead, he uses the tale of a young boy who attends a Hitler Youth training camp to highlight the absurdity of this horrible movement while promoting tolerance. He delivers this powerful message by introducing a young Jewish girl who seeks refuge in the home of Jojo and his mother, played by Scarlett Johansson (who clearly had a good year). This leads to Jojo’s crisis of conscience which is complicated by his imaginary friend...who happens to be Adolf Hitler! Yes, the movie is different.

#8. Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie

It’s no surprise that Quentin Tarantino would make a film about 1960s Hollywood starring one of the most prestigious celebrity trios in the business; the guy’s passion--obsession even--for film is unmatched. Here, he uses the medium to take a horrific moment in history like the murder of Sharon Tate at the hands of the Manson Family and gives it the stereotypical Hollywood happy ending. In doing so, he showcases the wish fulfillment of the movies and their power to comfort us with optimism while simultaneously warning of their ability to shelter us from our cruel reality. DiCaprio and Pitt give brilliant performances as characters who add to the perception-vs-reality theme, DiCaprio playing the huge movie star full of anxiety and doubt in real life who relies heavily on his stunt double, Pitt, who’s the actual confident hero. All this and much more takes place in a meticulously recreated Hollywood of the ‘60s that sweeps you up in nostalgia and immerses you in a world of make-believe.

#7. Knives Out

Director: Rian Johnson

Starring: Ana de Armas, Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Plummer 

Yes, there have been many murder mysteries. No, Knives Out isn’t just like the rest of them. Writer/director Rian Johnson does a masterful job at crafting a labyrinthine story that’s just complex enough without overwhelming and strikes a perfect balance of suspense and comedy. Featuring one of the greatest casts assembled in 2019 playing a dysfunctional family of despicable yet intriguing individuals of means, the story is full of truly surprising twists and turns and, more crucially, some well-integrated and astute social commentary. This isn’t a two-hour lecture, though; the film is undeniably entertaining. The stand-out here is detective Benoit Blanc, played by Daniel Craig with a delightful southern drawl and an attention to detail that rivals Sherlock Holmes. Craig transcends his James Bond persona while the film itself transcends a genre. 

#6. 1917

Director: Sam Mendes

Starring: George MacKay, Dean-Charles Chapman

If this were a few years ago 1917 would be, without question, my #1 pick. However, as the long, uncut tracking shot has become more common over the years, it’s also lost a bit of its luster; 2014′s Birdman, one of the best films of the decade, also had the appearance of a single take. Nonetheless, to make a war film, with all its tricky choreography and pyrotechnics, look like one long take is still a phenomenal achievement and an absolute marvel to behold. And, although it obviously couldn’t be filmed in one shot, Sam Mendes and master cinematographer Roger Deakins still had to shoot long takes and stitch them together digitally while stealthily hiding the seams. It all helps tell the story of two young soldiers tasked with traversing treacherous territory to warn a Battalion of British soldiers about an impending German ambush. We follow the pair in real time amidst a story of remarkable bravery, enhanced by the fact that we’re with them every step of the way, at once experiencing everything they do up close while being reminded of how removed we really are from the danger they face.

#5. Uncut Gems

Director: Benny Safdie, Josh Safdie

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin Garnett (hey, why not?), Julia Fox

There are several talented actors in Hollywood who’ve gained a bad reputation for poor career choices. Ben Affleck and Will Smith come to mind. Perhaps the king of this group is Adam Sandler. He’s excelled sporadically in movies like Punch-Drunk Love and The Meyerowitz Stories, but he gives a truly Oscar-worthy performance in this--ahem--gem. As Howard Ratner, he’s a gambling addict who runs a jewelry store in New York’s Diamond district when he gets his hands on a rare Ethiopian black opal which he hopes will help pay off his many debts. In fact, he owes so much to so many people that he struggles to keep track of it all and we cringe every time he does. The tension builds to an almost unbearable level as a host of dangerous men seek payment. If that’s not enough, he’s on the verge of a divorce as he continues seeing a mistress who’s also his employee while owing $100 000 to his own criminal brother-in-law. If you were stressed just reading that, try watching the movie...or being Howard himself. The Safdie brothers don’t let up either, filming it like a documentary to add to its realism and immediacy...as if it needed that extra boost.     

#4. The Lighthouse

Director: Robert Eggers

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Willem Dafoe

The first thing you notice watching The Lighthouse is that half the screen is missing; Robert Eggers, who also wrote and directed The Witch, shot the film with a 1.19: 1 aspect ratio, making the picture square, like an old-timey photograph. It feels limiting at first until you fully appreciate the feelings of confinement and anxiety it evokes. That’s important in a film about two lighthouse keepers, or wickies, who are forced to live together in insanely grungy and cramped quarters of a lighthouse on a remote island off the coast of New England. Considering the harsh conditions and the fact it’s a horror film, they soon clash and seemingly lose their grip on reality which manifests in macabre images and supernatural occurrences. Or does it? Ha! This is one of the most unique and beautifully filmed movies of the year with the grainy black and white 35mm making it seem like it was made closer to the late 19th century, when the film takes place. Like many recent horror films, this one relies more on mood and imagery than jump scares and is buttressed by only two actors who give award-worthy performances. Alright? So, go to hell; Pattinson can act.

#3. Little Women

Director: Greta Gerwig

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Florence Pugh, Emma Watson, Timothee Chalamet, Eliza Scanlen, Laura Dern

You might assume that Little Women is a stuffy period piece and even unnecessary considering it’s the seventh adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s iconic 1868 novel, but the prodigious actor-turned-writer-turned-director Greta Gerwig is too adept in her craft to settle for conventional story-telling. She gives this classic story a fresh, modern take with a non-linear approach and a feminist angle that enhances without overwhelming. Like her work on Lady Bird, she keeps scenes brisk and to the point with decisive cuts. She also adds her unique wit and snappy dialogue. Every conversation, no matter how superficial, leaves you enraptured. So, too, do the characters; it’s a pleasure following these complex girls through the ups and downs of their lives as women of little means and even fewer rights. They’re portrayed by a stellar cast, particularly Jo March who’s played by Saoirse Ronan, perhaps our greatest sub-30 actress. This may be a little movie about little women, but the payoffs and sheer enjoyment are truly grand.   

Full Review: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/190231754125/little-women-12-out-of-5

#2. Us

Director: Jordan Peele

Starring: Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke 

I know it’s blasphemous, but I might be the only person on Earth who not only thought Get Out was a tad overrated, but that Jordan Peele’s second feature, Us, is the superior picture. It’s easy to look at this film as merely a unique take on the slasher genre, but it’s so much more than that. Like any good horror, it’s creepy as hell, but it’s also brimming with foreshadowing, symbolism and metaphor. There are three or four ideas that Peele sets up at the beginning that seem disconnected to the story, yet they each have a specific purpose and when that becomes evident, it’s incredibly satisfying. Even more impressive is how Peele turns a movie about a vacationing family encountering their doppelgangers into a brilliant commentary on the current state of America, specifically in regards to class division and its relation to the Nature vs Nurture debate. And the movie’s neat twist at the end isn’t just added for shock value; it’s actually the final puzzle piece and essential in conveying the film’s message. I struggled with ranking Us at #1 or #2, but its over-reliance on slasher film action around the mid-point (a minor flaw) was the deciding factor. It’s near-perfect, nonetheless.

Full Film Interpretation: https://thefilmsnob.tumblr.com/post/184073868405/interpreting-jordan-peeles-film-us

#1. Midsommar

Director: Ari Aster

Starring: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, William Jackson Harper, Will Poulter

If there’s one thing for which the 2010s should be known, it’s great horror films, a refreshing development after decades of mediocrity. But, just like movies in general from the ‘New Hollywood’ ‘70s, horror films are more creative and ambitious than they’ve been in ages thanks to a handful of visionary filmmakers. Three out of the top five entries are horror movies and that’s saying something.

Midsommar is a mesmerizing horror film that hearkens back to the 1970s when the genre relied more heavily on atmosphere and pacing and sheer creepiness than on jump scares and gimmicks. It takes one hell of a talented writer/director to make a movie shot almost entirely in daylight feel so utterly sinister, but Ari Aster, who also made the acclaimed Hereditary, does just that with ease. What’s more, the film contains no monsters, nothing supernatural and an astonishingly minimal amount of violence, yet when we do see bits of blood and gore, it’s a complete shock to the system. What Aster does rely on is his mastery of lighting and framing to produce images that are unexpectedly eerie.

This is a movie that starts with a group of anthropology students looking to take part in a once-in-a-lifetime festival at a commune in the Swedish countryside and ends in an unspeakable nightmare. It’s a long and sometimes grueling experience that steadily snowballs into horror, but that slow burn is crucial for this delightfully nerve-wracking series of events. Oh, and it’s also a breakup story...possibly the scariest breakup story of all time. It’s certainly the best film of 2019.     

[slotmaniak-blog]

The Ultimate Online Casino Guide

There are millions of online slots out there to choose from. For new players who have never played online before, it can be fairly confusing and intimidating to find the perfect game to bet on.

The best online slots have provided hours of great reel-spinning entertainment to players all around the world and made more than a few lucky gamers richer than their wildest dreams!

When choosing the best slots casino, consider the time taken to deposit and withdraw. Some online casinos have a very long time in making the deposit and withdrawal functions. Obviously, you will prefer a site that makes each transaction very fast. You also need to know their minimum and maximum limits for deposits and withdrawal. Also look at their wagering requirements if you are going to accept their bonuses. Because most of the online casinos need from ten to thirty times your deposit plus bonus.

Also consider the popularity of the casino. Word of mouth is very important because people could not talk about a fake site. This means you can hear the whereabouts of the casino and enrol into it. People rely on the reviews of their friends, family, and colleagues to help them choose the right casino. You can also look at sites such as SlotManiak to read reviews of popular and trending casinos. The highest rated there will likely become the best casino for you.

There are so many casinos to choose from and the sea of options makes it difficult to pick the best casino. The increasing competition for the casinos makes it more easy for players to take advantage of the good offers out there.

Playing casino games is always exciting, but you won’t always win. All casino games are designed with a mathematical advantage (called a house edge) that puts the odds in the casino’s favor. That’s not to say that you will lose each time because there is such a thing as beginner’s luck. But you don’t have to spend a lot of money or lose your shirt to have a great time. So relax, sit on those casino gaming chairs, soak in the vibe, and just have fun. That’s what you came for.

There are three general categories of casino games: table games, electronic gaming machines, and random number ticket games such as Keno and simulated racing. The best part about playing online casino games is the fact that you don’t have an obligation to play the games with money. You can try your hand at a particular game and in case you end up liking it, then obviously you can register yourself and start playing the game on a regular basis with real money.

The Best Slot Machines

Right now there are a lot of people trying to figure out how to hack or break the slot machine code at casinos. The truth of the matter is simple; they are not as easy as they once were. You see, the modern machine is run by what is known as a random number generator. This is a software element that picks random winners and losers based on an algorithm that is quite difficult to crack. But that doesn't mean that you cannot win.

Slots have played an important role in the development of the casino industry for quite some time and over the years, have experienced significant changes in their design and features. Slot developers have been striving to improve game features and offer players a premium gaming experience.

The growing demand for slot games has caused some countries to consider allowing players to place their bets from the comfort of their homes. More and more authorities in countries are realizing the beneficial aspects of the legalization of remote gaming activities.

History has always been a favorite subject of the players and slots based in Egypt or Greek mythology are usually a huge success. That's why slot machines with ancient Egyptian themes are available in physical casinos and despite their great variety, there are some of them that proved to be entertaining and profitable for the players.

Vampire-themed slots and those related to Halloween and horror stories in general, have made their way to the slot industry and nowadays the spooky themes are extremely popular in the physical and online casinos.

Slots related to hidden treasures and pirates trying to find a fortune are also very popular among players, as they are eager to go on an adventure and earn incredible amounts of money along the way.

The most popular television shows have been properly "integrated" into the slot game industry and players are given the opportunity to enjoy their favorite TV show characters, while earning incredible prizes.

Finding a Secure Online Casino

Here are 5 different safeguards you can look for that should point you to a fair and secure casino online.

Data Encryption

Casinos use 128 or 256-bit encryption. Both of these turn whatever personal and financial data you send to the casino into strings of unbreakable code.

Number Generators

Casino algorithms don’t need any outside input to run. Instead, they use a seed number. When combined with the algorithm, you get results that are seemingly random.

Privacy Policies

This is important because if you agree and sign up, and the casino decides they’re going to sell or rent out your information, you might be able to take (legal) action. You can usually find a company’s privacy policy at the bottom of their website.

Licenses

Online gaming authorities, commissions and licensors are different than those offline. Some of them are laxer than others, which means the casinos they oversee have more margin for error.

Terms & Conditions

Terms and conditions are sort of like a privacy policy. The casino’s telling you how they operate their casino. The rules everyone has to follow.

Assuming that you’d like to start gambling online, you should consider online casino security to be invaluable. Once you find the best online casino that you know is going to offer you the most secure gaming environment possible, you will be able to log in to your account with confidence. While safe and legitimate casinos still greatly outnumber unsafe ones, this does not mean that one shouldn’t take the time to do their homework properly.