#and then someone would write a show based on the transcripts

[lookingforhappy]

thnk u @air--so--sweet for pointing out the tua prop auction, i am obssessed so ofc im now writing up my own transcripts for stuff. i bet someone else has done this but i couldnt find it so here's my record of it:

this is from Reginald's red book in s1 (i presume the dates are written day/month/year as Reginald is english)

transcript:

"#00.01 Behaviour Part 4 -When given opportunity, he acts in accordance to my expectations, and to my instruction, and only to my expectation and instructions. Further experiments needed to figure out the extent of his blind loyalty. -Unknowable at this time if this productive for the cause or detrimental for the cause. 4/03/01 Conducted experiment in which I sent #00.01 to this woods to watch for threats. Not only did he not ask about said threats, he found ways to come up with his own possible threats. He stood watch in a weak, slight base camp from dawn until dusk, without asking if he should stay on overnight. He is still there. -Is it truly best to have the best follower be the leader??"

transcript:

"5/09/01 Another experiment conducted in which I gave #00.01 an unknowable mission, but this time had him try to lead the team in his cause. I instructed #00.01 to take the team and patrol the state beach. Up and down. Until the threat revealed itself. Within hours all members had referred to pursue mission on such little intel. #00.01 never stopped. Even after the pleading from #00.03. Whom usually shows an emotional weakness for. #00.03 Abilities Part 3 -Makes one wonder if she is all the Umbrella Academy really needs. -Her full potential makes the rest of the team look like an afterthought. -How can I convince her the team needs her? Confounded at not being able to capture a non-existent opponent flag. Their petty feud seems to know no bounds. But if the feud motivates #00.02 in a way to suceed in that types of scale, so be it. Work-load Capacity Ranking 1-#00.05 (negated by disregard for rules and safety) 2-#00.01 (enhanced by propensity to protect siblings) 3-#00.03 (strength in collaboration) 4-#00.06 (follower) 5-#00.04 (untapped and unfocused potential) 6-#00.02 (could be 1st or 6th depending on mood) Discipline Notes -Physical pain yields best results with males. -Emotional trauma yields best results with #00.03 and Klaus. Especially when inflicted on others. -Separation from group does not work on #00.02."

transcript:

"-Sensory Statistics -Visual - 21.4% -Auditory - 8.7% -Kinesthetic - 69.9% -Disorders -Likely tendency toward Oppositional Disorder (ODD) -Maternal family history of possible sociopathy (seems incongruent to dynamics with Seven; background research ongoing ref p.49) -Phobias -Darkness -Solitude -Binds Effective Behaviours Modification Techniques"

edit 03/07/2024: spelling corrections 😬

my thoughts beneath the cut:

Pic 1

interesting that Reginald seems more interested in Luther's psychology, and whether it's a mistake for him to be the leader due to his blind loyalty and strict adherence to instruction (to me, Luther reads as somewhat autistic here, following rules to the letter, but this could also be a result of childhood abuse).

Reginald's interest in Luther's blind loyalty, and experimenting on him to test where or if he has a limit on said loyalty, is very similar to the moon mission. Reginald said there was a purpose to it in s3, but maybe the purpose was testing the extent of Luther's loyalty. Maybe he was waiting to see at what point would Luther actually start to ask his father questions, or make requests of him or even outright defy him. We know Luther had started asking for more food, but maybe Reginald was pushing him further, to see at what point he'd ask to come home.

Since Reginald didn't send any of the Sparrows to the Moon it would seem like Luther's moon mission was unneccessary, but to Reginald there was nothing more important than training the children. Since Reginald seems to doubt whether having a Follower be a Leader, maybe he was trying to force Luther into a position that would help him learn how to use his own initiative?

Pic 2

this one is a gold mine.

Luther once again cannot not follow instruction or leave his work unfinished, but he's also considered to be very protective of his siblings by Reginald (which is a good thing in Reginald's books).

Allison is desperate for him to stop, but also seems like she has self-worth or anxiety issues that Reginald is unable to cure her of, likely related to her feeling like people would hate her if they knew the real her.

Diego's feud with Luther over being no.1 wasn't intentional on Reginald's side, but he didn't discourage it either as he felt it motivated Diego. Which is probably related to the fact that Diego doesn't seem to work well without the group. He also says Diego could be no.1 if he sorted out his emotions, but he ranks him in last.

Five is marked top of the group, above even Luther, but he's too opposed to rules and safety in Reginald's eyes.

Ben seems to be keeping quiet and doing as he's told, which also seems to be a good thing to Reginald.

also interesting that Klaus is referred to by name not number, and is grouped with Allison rather than with the "males".

I don't think "physical pain" refers to torture or corporal punishment, but perhaps exhaustion or intense physical regimines? Mostly because Reginald seems extremely hands off with the kids.

Pic 3

It doesn't say who this entry is about but "Oppositional Disorder" and "sociopathy" seems most consistent with Five. and now that we know his mother was a butcher, she seems the most likely candidate to have been thought a sociopath.

(edit: Although, Klaus is also suggested to have ODD in S3, this doesn't seem consistent with the earlier entry mentioning he is more receptive to emotional pain and pain inflicted on others, than to physical pain inflicted to himself. Plus, Rachel seems very emotionally intelligent, and this entry points out a positive relationship with Viktor which has always been more Five's thing)

I don't agree with the sociopath diagnosis, but it seems Reginald is hestitant to diagnose it in the first place since he notes that Five has a good relationship with Viktor, probably meaning he's not devoid of empathy.

the Phobias is also interesting. Darkness, Solitude and Binds all suggest he was forced into similar situations as Klaus and Viktor, where he had to use his powers to escape cramped conditions. the fact that he notes Solitude is one of his phobias is also v sad all things considered. plus the fact that Five is the only Brelly to sleep on a separate floor to the other 6 siblings - maybe this was Reginald's attempt to cure him of this phobia?

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

It's funny to me how you put these tags just as the newest episode revealed that Nathalie has been working for a secret organization this entire time and is taking commands from her dad who surprise surprise wants the ladybug and cat miraculouses

(Post in question for context)

[Image transcript: a series of tags reading "She is not a safe person and I HATE that she knows Marinette's identity Wtf is this show doing? Nathalie knowing Ladybug's identity should be a terrible thing that makes Marinette quit"]

Oh, so that's why Nathalie refused to turn herself in and convinced Ladybug to lie in the London special!

Nathalie: It's time to tell the truth. Bug Noire: If you do that, you'll go to jail. Nathalie: Isn't the truth worth it? Bug Noire: If you tell the truth, Adrien will have no one left. He'll have lost his mom, his dad, you. Nathalie: He will have you. Bug Noire: It's not' the same. He needs a mother. Nathalie: I'm not his mother. Bug Noire: You're the closest thing to a mother he's got. (Bunnyx runs over to the window as it continues playing)That's why Gabriel Agreste sacrificed himself, it's what finally made him a good father to Adrien and that's what Adrien should remember. Nathalie: Don't you want to tell Adrien that his father was Monarch? Bug Noire: The only thing I can fix is the way Adrien will remember his father. Nathalie: But that would be lying to him.

Oh, wait, no, my bad, that's the exact opposite of what happened in this dialogue! Why would you write the scene like this if Nathalie is still evil? And if Nathalie isn't evil anymore, then why is she keeping the evil organization a secret from Ladybug? This seems like something Ladybug should know about and this dialogue does not set Nathalie up as wanting to maintain secrets. Nothing in the special does!

[Image description: Fear from Pixar's Inside Out yelling "Boo! Pick a plotline!"]

I haven't seen El Toro De Piedra, so maybe there's something I'm missing, but doesn't this secret organization reveal basically destroy the popular argument that Nathalie is obeying Marinette's wishes re the lies because Nathalie no longer trusts herself to make good calls after all her years supporting Gabriel? If that was really the case, then Nathalie would have told Marinette about the secret organization and let Marinette decide what to do, but it sounds like that's not what happened. Nathalie feels totally comfortable making all the calls and controlling the information re the evil organization! She's only leaving Marinette to make the calls when it comes to Adrien's relationship with his father, a thing Marinette knows almost nothing about but that Nathalie actively watched deteriorate over the entire course of Adrien's life.

You can't have this both ways. Either Nathalie is a broken woman who is basically Marinette's puppet or Nathalie is a functional adult who is fully responsible for her own choices. Pick a lane.

I'm posting this now instead of waiting for the script because this is going to bother me until I get an answer. I legitimately want to know if the episode does anything to address any of these issues. Based on this ask, this is just adding fuel to my, "Nathalie should have been the liar" stance. Why is Marinette even involved in the lies if Nathalie is the one with all the actual secrets and information? It doesn't sound like the lies are doing anything interesting for Marinette's character or her relationship with Adrien. Can Adrien please get someone in his life who actually respects him? Can the writers please get rid of the asinine "Marinette must be wrong" rule when it makes no sense for the actual plot?

Gods, if Nathalie was actually written as still evil then this could have been amazing! The plot beats are all there, the writers just failed on every level. I'm still annoyed that her undoing Adrien's senticommands was presented as her being a good mom and not as her just using Adrien to fuck with Gabriel. Let my evil queen be an evil queen, gods damn it!

[inky-the-artist]

🩷Inky's full lore🩷

🩷transcript under cut!:)

Introduction

name: Inky Miller, age: 21(?), pronouns: she/her, species: Ink Monster

smarts: 10, boldness: 5, creativity: 15, charm: 20, fun: 10, money: 6

Sweet. Helpful. Dramatic. Confident. A diva.

A popular girl who loves using her influence for the right things. Most of the time.

Seriously, everyone loves her. What's up with that?

Loves art, writing, music, dancing, and everything creative.

Unknown species, unknown origin. Searches for where she came from.

Inspiration

personality + social status: Apple White (Ever After High), Rarity (Equestria Girls), Glinda (Wicked: part 1), Cleo De Nile (Monster High G3 show)

her last name is a reference to Zdeněk Miler, the creator of Krteček (The Little Mole)

first design idea was originally from my BATIM era

design is heavily based on my old sonas

Physiology

(kinda - she's entirely made of ink, has no organs, nerves, blood, ...)

picks her form herself, changes it slightly every now and then to simulate getting older

maintaining details is difficult = no strands (ink for hair, naturally chunky eyelashes, ...), skin has little to no texture

body temperature is slightly warmer than a human's

not fully solid nor fully fluid

Two types of ink

one makes up her body = harder to manipulate (except moving), and requires more focus when changing it, has a default form

second is hair and everything else = can be manipulated easily and quickly

feels touch differently

can tell where and how she's being touched (pressure, temperature, ...), but it disperses throughout her whole form

this prevents her from getting overwhelmed

it's more for spatial awareness rather than experience

Powers pt. 1

main power is ink manipulation

she can move it, amplify/reduce it, shape it, make it levitate, ...

since that's what she's made of, she can also fly and shapeshift herself

powers work similarly to: Lapis (Steven Universe), Darius (The Owl House)

passive power is very high charisma and +CHARM

has no way to control it

tied to her origin - she was created by a concubus and she "inherited" their charm

overplayed for storytelling + comedic purposes

she knows nothing about her creator and never met anyone like herself, leaving her to have to find out the features, abilities and weaknesses of her kind on her own

Powers pt. 2

when needed, she can turn into her "amplified" form, which gives her powers a huge boost - shapeshifting is easier, she can create more ink quicker, she's overall faster and stronger

downside is extreme tunnel vision she gets when transformed, makes her ignore all her needs, energy depletion and injuries, and it causes extreme exhaustion afterwards

transforming when already tired is possible, but not ideal

Weaknesses pt. 1

immune to things that would hurt or limit an organic being (weapons, restraints, ...), can shapeshift around them

can't get thirsty, hungry nor sick

not immune to magic (spells, artifacts, curses, enchanted items, ...)

once she actually gets injured, she can mend herself - requires a lot of focus and energy

can't mend herself, healing magic of any sort is needed

doesn't normally need to eat nor drink, though she can

food/fluid intake helps regenerate core ink and energy

Weaknesses pt. 2

biggest weakness is cold

her body can freeze and it becomes more difficult to move, until impossible

it becomes more fragile - can crack and "bleed" after unfreezing

possible for whole limbs to snap off, which can be fatal if not healed in time

if not injured, freezing + thawing is just unpleasant and not painful

Colors

can only create her form in greyscale, can't become colorful naturally

lack of color reflects in her feelings and behaviour, she becomes numb, tired and emotionless

only wears colorful clothes, makeup, accessories, and makes her living space as colorful as possible

Notes

voice claim is Halsey as Porscha in Sing 2

she is literally someone's OC in canon, has been fully conscious ever since she came to life, and owns the original drawing of herself

her default form is what the ink forms without her having to focus on it - she can alter it, but she only makes a few subtle changes at a time

physically ageless, mentally in her 20s

her voice gets distorted when she's in amplified form

inability to create color and details applies to her shapeshifting, and her voice doesn't change either

since she can make her own ink levitate, she doesn't really need wings - she has them because she likes how they look

can't create other sentient beings with her ink

can control ink that didn't come from her

she has no other fluids - if she were to bleed or cry, it'd be ink, her natural blush is grey, etc.

[di-42]

A bit late this time, sorry! 

Almost all I had the time to read in December was the Scribbling Vaguely Downwards Advent Calendar collection. I’m late in catching up with one of the wonderful WIPs below, and I’m criminally late in catching up with the long fiction I’m reading, but it is what it is.

As always I’ll try to tag all the writers and artists whose tumblr username I know, so they know how loved and appreciated they are. If you know the username of someone I haven’t tagged please tag them. If you are on this list and would rather not, please let me know and I'll take you and your work off the list immediately. If you enjoy my lists and want to be tagged when I post them, give me a shout!

Last but not least, I wish you all a wonderful 2025, filled with friendship, creativity, discovery, awe and love for all things big and small, even Brother Snail.

Without further ado, let me tell you what I loved about

December’s Delightful Fictions

WIPs:

Wavelengths & Frequencies, by @shadesofecclescakes and imposterssyndrome @maaikeatthefullmoon Rated E, chapters 16/?

This story is such a warm, cozy, comfort blanket. Enemies-to-lovers human AU where Aziraphale and Crowley work as DJ for the same media corporation. They have a history, but we don't know what it is at the beginning. Great story, great humour, great characterisation, great fuzzies, absolutely great banter! I look forward to every update and do a little joyful dance every time I get an update notification. This fiction is becoming one of my all time favourites.

You're The Bad Guys, by Nebz_AlphaCentauri @alphacentaurinebula Rated E, chapters 23/26?

Cold war human AU in which Aziraphale is an MI6 agent and Crowley is a KGB agent. Each of them is assigned to a mission in Berlin, from opposite sides of course. Great characterisation, suspense and references to canon.

Scribbling Vaguely Downwards Advent Calendar:

A lovely collection of winter and Christmas themed one shots, short stories and artworks, to which I’ve been lucky enough to take part. I invite you to go through the whole collection, as each piece is a little gem. I have read all but two of the stories, which will be in my January list.

My own piece for the collection, Only Ever Meant For Someone Else, rated T, 9k.

Every year, the night before Christmas, taxi driver Aziraphale drives passengers to and from the hospital for charity. On the Christmas morning of 2023 he was ready to go home and rest with a cup of tea, a mince pie, and a book after a long night.

Guess who?

This my very first attempt at human AU, and it was great fun to write it without being bound by anything canon. It gave me a chance to play with some feelings and characterisations that I just don’t see in canon, but I like in fiction. I tried to throw in the mix a bit of humour, a tiny bit of short lived angst and, of course a happy ending!

Naked And Afraid: Jingle Hell by @klikandtuna, rated T, 24k.

Human AU. A fictional transcription of an episode of reality show Naked And Afraid. Yes, Naked And Afraid is a real show, and no, you don’t need to have watched it to enjoy this sweet, funny, from strangers-to-lovers fiction. Lighthearted and yet tense, great characterisation, banter, will-they-won’t-they, humour, this fiction has it all! I absolutely loved it. Honestly, you don’t know me, but trust me: if I speak enthusiastically about a fiction based on a survival show, it must be that good.

Nooooo Mooooore Touching My Angel by Adara83, 2k.

Post second coming story where angels and demons have meetings and get-togethers. At the latest Christmas meeting Crowley and Aziraphale got very protective of each other. Very sweet story.

Something On The Wind (Or Jingle Chimes) by Aspiring_Eccentric, 5k.

I loved this human AU! Crowley has been driven mad by the new neighbour’s wind chimes. I don’t think I need to tell you who the new neighbour is. Humour, fluff, flirting and spot on characterisation, this fiction was a real Christmas treat!

An Ineffable Christmas Carol by Aikosakura, artwork.

1800s Crowley and Aziraphale take a Christmas eve stroll.

A Christmas Miracle by IneffableChocolateCheeseCake and Ngk @ngk-668rated E, 4k.

A sweet, hot, and funny in-canon story where supreme archangel Gabriel grants all the angels a free miracle to use for personal purposes one Christmas day. Guess how Aziraphale chooses to use his? Words by Ngk and art by IneffableChocolateCheeseCake. Lovely, lovely story!

My Angel, My Light by icegirl99, rated T, 2k.

Aziraphale drags Crowley to be the elf to his Santa one Christmas eve. Gentle and fluffy. 

They Are The Magi by LyricalKris, rated T, 8k.

Lovely human AU where Aziraphale and Crowley meet at a book club and end up meaning the world to each other.

Winter’s Rages by miladyshakespeare, rated G, 427 words.

A storm is raging in 1719. Any more than that would mean spoiling the story, but honestly, it’s astounding that so much goodness and so much subtle humour is contained in such a short story. Artful and clever, I truly loved it!

Reindeer Mistletoe by Yvesriba, rated G, artwork.

Those reindeer antlers couldn't have been in a better place!

The Soho Route by Caedmon @caedmonfaith , rated G, 11k.

Human AU where Crowley is a delivery man who’s taken a shine to the lovely bookseller he delivers parcels to. If only the bookseller was interested in him. A sweet story featuring an oblivious Crowley and an undeterred Aziraphale.

It’s A Wonderful Film by Heretic1103, rated T, 2k.

Post canon Cgristmas eve, filled with fluff and domestic bliss. Lovely.

Do You Remember The Roses? (The Snow Queen Retold With Good Omens Characters) by Augenblickgotter, rated G, 13k.

Lovely retelling of the Andersen’s tale.

Furfur, A Red-Nosed Reindeer by @ineffablechocolatecheesecake, rated T, artwork.

Great artwork featuring Crowley and Aziraphale doing what they should be doing all the time! But poor Furfur!

The Perfect Christmas by HumoringHolly, rated M, 13k.

Post canon story set a few years in the future. Aziraphale and Crowley host a Christmas party and invite Adam and Warlock. They hit it off in the best possible way! 

A Light In The Darkness by PinkPenguinParade, rated G, 561 words.

Lovely, warm post canon scene.

A Little Peek by Dukeofnone, rated, artwork.

The sweetest Crowley and Aziraphale peek from the boxes of an advent calendar. I loved this artwork!

Hissy Fit by @dragonfire42, rated T, 6k.

Inspired by Gleafer’s art this story is hilarious, delightful, heartwarming, and wonderfully written. Great characterisation and banter and strong Aziraphale, to which I may or may not be partial to. Crowley is shedding, enough said. I laughed all the way through.

Mnemosyne’s Feast by ravendiana, rated G, 1k.

Canon-divergent story where the final fifteen never happened. Crowley doesn’t trust himself with words, so he attempts to communicate his feelings to Aziraphale through memories awoken by food. This story was really touching and heartwarming, I loved it so much!

Radiant by CaelumCalamitas, rated G, 4k.

Lovely South Down cottage story with an incredibly warm and touching ending.

Eyes On Me by AVoiceBehindTheStars, rated G, artwork.

Aziraphale is teaching Crowley to ice skate. Beautiful piece framing a lovely moment in the existences of the husbands.

The Angel Tree by GoodInspirationsAD, rated T, 8k.

Post season 2 fiction with a lovely happy ending. Aziraphale is in heaven and Crowley, as heartbroken as he is, replaces him in making sure the London Hospital Angel Tree initiative has presents for all the patients. Meanwhile, Aziraphale worries that, with him in heaven, some patients will be left with no gifts, so he has to go down to earth and fulfill the patients’ wishes. Hurt, comfort, communication, intimacy, South Down cottage, AND Cgristmas all in one fiction, what more do you want?

All My Own In A Big Red Bow by @supergeek21, rated E, 2k.

Present wrapping frustration, present unwrapping heat. Sexy and tender at the same time.

Tom Bawcock’s Eve by Snowfilly1, rated T, 2k.

I loved this story about human resilience and bravery. A long time ago, Crowley and Aziraphale went to a village in Cornwall and helped the villagers fight against a storm.

Holy Infant, So Tender And Mild by Caedmon, rated G, 3k.

Jesus has been born and an angel and a demon keep him entertained while Mary rests.

Geminids by astral_gravy, not rated, artwork.

I absolutely love this amazing piece showing our favourite angel and demon in the midst of a meteor shower! Beautiful!

Boxing Day by Starshadow667, not rated, 1.7k.

Crowley and Aziraphale go ice skating with their children.

Stargazer by Raechem, rated G, 2k.

Oh, I loved this story, I truly did. So gentle, and touching, and deep. Set at some point in the past, OC’s POV. OC helps a snake she finds in her garden that had been caught in some rope. The snake comes to visit her again, and an owl comes looking for the snake. I don’t want to spoil it and won’t say anything else, but please show some love to this gem of a fiction.

Dec 31- Happy New Year! by Miele_Petite, rated G, artwork.

Biblical Crowley and Aziraphale with a night sky background. Beautiful!

November's list here.

Winter's list here.

[genericpuff]

I feel mean criticizing an author's old work that they've deliberately buried, but sheesh the dialogue in Rachel's old stuff is really stilted. As awkward as LO's writing is, it honestly does show some improvement, so like...good for Rachel I guess?

I mean, it hasn't really improved though? Normally no, I wouldn't criticize someone's older work because by the virtue of something being old, it will naturally be improved upon and shouldn't be judged against what's created in the present (trust me, as someone with work from 10 years ago that hasn't aged well, I get it LOL).

But what's in the present... has all the same issues. I think it's easy to convince ourselves LO's writing is "better" because it relies on Greek myth to piece itself together, but when you aren't filling in the blanks for her based on assumptions made from the source material (which you shouldn't have to do) her writing in LO still doesn't have much to offer. Like, can we really call this an improvement?

If anything the writing in LO got even worse over time because it started to feel like ChatGPT was writing the dialogue and the narrative was crumbling under the weight of Rachel's lack of foresight / planning ahead.

I mean, just to get my point across, let me ask you one simple question: What is the actual theme of LO? What is the conclusion it comes to by its end to contribute to that theme?

This isn't me trying to minimize whatever improvements she may have made between the past and present, I just don't see those improvements, and there's a lot more to suggest that she was a lot more prolific 20 years ago as an artist than she is today. All of that stuff about Persephone / herself being a "workaholic" is based on stuff she went through 20 years ago that she doesn't even put on display now because it's all buried in deactivated Tumblrs and LiveJournals. But that's besides the point.

I think at best the "improvement" simply boils down to "at least she finished this one". But that's not necessarily a good thing because it's clear LO went on longer than it ever should have and that the only reason she even made it this far was because she was bound to a contract through WT. I guarantee you if it weren't for the success that WT's gave her through constantly advertising LO everywhere (and the fact that LO fit a very specific niche that was popular at the time) she would have ended LO ages ago, because just about every series she's done up until this point have been passing fancies that she's bounced between while still retaining a lot of the same tropes and crutches she always has.

LO is about a naive valley girl with mommy issues who goes to school to better herself. This is also the plot of The Doctor Foxglove Show. And while comics like Castle Castle, Woman King, and The Maiden don't involve school settings, they do still center around "girlboss" characters who hate their parents. LO isn't really an "improvement" among these tropes, just another rehashing that's hidden way better because 1.) she put it behind the veil of Greek myth and 2.) she's done everything in her power to hide the fact that she's been writing about the same pink-haired girls with mommy issues and trauma from evil men "except for that one guy who's perfect in every way" for 20+ years now.

And that issue of stilted dialogue goes way beyond even the comics. Read transcripts of her interviews or the Q&A from the end of the series that she did in her Discord and you'll see she has a really hard time finishing the thought she started on. I'm sure a lot of this can be chalked up to her ADHD / dyslexia, which is totally valid, but it just goes to show she hasn't done any work to actually improve her work in spite of her hindrances. She doesn't know how to separate Internet trolls from valid criticism and she seems to absorb any and all criticism as "proof" that she's better than everyone else, actually, and it's not her fault that other people are stupid and don't get her "vision". And I'm not pulling this assertion out of thin air, she's displayed this exact behavior before both within the LO fandom as well as her pre-existing fandoms around her other series.

Like, I can totally get the sentiment that "hate mail is a sign of success" and turning a negative into a positive, but there's a difference between deflecting hate mail from trolls and deflecting genuine criticism that's meant to identify your weaknesses and help you grow. That's what makes it all the more telling that she's built an audience around protecting and enabling her weaknesses rather than celebrating her strengths and empowering her to do better. She can't fall back on Webtoons as the only excuse for why the writing in LO is bad, her writing has always been like this and I feel like that's half the reason she's trying to hide it.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so i was rereading the transcript to Launch (the episode where the princesses are trying to locate glimmer) and i want to talk about two things i hated about this episode (apart from.. the obvious):

1. i don’t like that the crew’s idea of an autistic person is “has a special interest” and “doesn’t value human life”.

now i get it. neurodivergent people can have trouble reading the room or responding in a way that people expect us to. but we can still recognize a serious situation (especially one where someone is hurt or in need of help) when we see it.

entrapta has always been kind of absentminded, but i feel like in this episode, they made her act like too much of an airhead. she seems to be on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, so i don’t understand the point of making it seem like she can never take anything seriously. she’s rambling about science and space, she’s climbing over tents, knocking shit over, it’s just strange to add in “comedic” bits like this in an episode that’s supposed to be serious. in general, this episode was far too lighthearted than it had any right to be, but entrapta was the worst part of it.

i just feel like she’s portrayed as more of a silly caricature of an autistic person, rather than an actual autistic person. a lot of this is played for laughs as well like “haha look at entrapta, she’s such an idiot, she only cares about science!” and it just feels insulting. we’ve seen entrapta show concern and compassion before, albeit in her own way, like when hordak wasn’t feeling well. so why would she act like this in a situation where someone’s life is at stake?

my problem lies with the writers and not entrapta herself, because it seems like they pick and choose when to make entrapta more empathetic and relatable, and when to make her act like a robot who doesn’t value human life. it’s just weird.

(this is all based on my general knowledge about neurodivergent people and my own personal experience with autism, so if i said something wrong here, feel free to correct me!)

2. the princesses aren’t mad at entrapta because she joined the horde and built weapons that were used to hurt thousands of innocent people, no no no, they were mad that she betrayed them specifically.

it’s all about “us”. not “our people” or “innocent civilians”, just.. “us”. because they’re the only ones affected by the ongoing war, right? everyone else on etheria is completely safe and sound, the princesses suffered the most because their ego was a bit damaged by what entrapta did. sure.

and let’s not forget this:

fucking rich of perfuma to say that they’re supposed to be entrapta’s friends, when SHE’S the one who leashed entrapta and dehumanized her.

and this is the first and only time they mention the kingdoms. which, btw, i may be nitpicking but “destroyed kingdoms” is a very light way to put it. it makes it seem like the horde was just destroying lands and buildings and not, you know, killing or grievously harming very real people. and again, this is all about THEM in the end, they’re acting like the kingdoms were their property, and not a civilisation of real people with real lives.

it’s a subtle way to avoid addressing the real impact of war, because how would we redeem our beloved catra if we acknowledge that she probably slaughtered hundreds of innocent civilians who were just trying to live their lives?

(also i find it funny that the 12 year old is the only one who even attempts to acknowledge the civilians, while the “adults” of the group whine about themselves.)

i’ve said this a million times before but i just don’t understand the idea of writing about war, and then acting like it only affects the people who are fighting it. this was a show written by adults, right? i’m seriously beginning to question it.

and like i said in a previous post, they did not have to make a she-ra reboot. they did not have to write about war. no one forced them to. if you’re choosing to write about a specific topic in a show that is marketed to the general public, especially children, it is your duty to do your research on it and address it accordingly. you don’t even have to do research to understand that war impacts everyone, not just the oppressors and the royalty. that’s just common knowledge. or did these people skip their history classes?

[bookwormcosplays]

Misconceptions of Sherlock and Co

Here I am going to list some misconceptions that I saw before getting into Sherlock and Co that I felt need to be corrected for any new people trying to listen. The things listed might be dubbed critiques. If you are someone who does not like criticism on your favorite pieces of media, please show yourself out now.

Johnlock is endgame

I beg every Sherlock lover who love the stories in every variation and specifically Johnlock, please stop setting yourselves up for disappointment. Unless it is explicitly said, don't believe it's canon. The reason why I say this is when this podcast first started to come out, everyone said johnlock was going to happen. Those are some of the most popular tiktoks about Sherlock and Co. And I won't lie, it was the push that made me listen to the podcast. I can't find where I saw it please if you can find it, send it to me. They said, the creators, that wasn't within their plans. John and Mariana though? I don't know if it'll actually happen, but it just feels like that's what they're pushing towards. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but the name Mariana is a lot like Mary. Speaking of Mariana--

It's just John and Sherlock

It may appear like that for a couple of episodes, but Mariana becomes an essential part of the team and she is here to stay. If you were one of the people who just wanted the boys, you're probably going to be disappointed because that is not the case here. Mrs. Hudson whose real name is Mariana also helps in solving crimes. Usually I would say if you didn't like Molly appearing in episodes, you also might not like this. But Mariana actually has some type of depth. So maybe you'll actually enjoy her appearances in episodes.

These Are New Interpretations of Sherlock and John

Yes and no. This might be controversial, but it didn't feel new. And it didn't feel like ACD's characterization. John and Sherlock's characterizations seems like they took a lot of inspiration from bbc Sherlock even down to some of the mannerisms especially the way they speak. It feels almost like fanfiction where they took the bbc Sherlock character interpretations of John and Sherlock and put them in an alternate universe. Over time though, they seem to be straying and they're now becoming their own characters. But if you told me at the beginning, "oh this is a new podcast based on bbc Sherlock fanfiction" I would've believed it.

POC Friendly

LOOK LISTEN, I'm not saying they're spouting out slurs. But someone, a white person, posted this is a poc friendly podcast. When I heard that, I assumed certain things. I assumed they had POC cast and crew, they had sensitivity writers, cultural consulting, etc. The cast and crew, respectfully, are majority if not completely white. I remember looking up Sherlock's voice actor after seeing all the fanart and I was so confused seeing a white man. Now this doesn't mean that POC should run away from it, but this does mean that when they say/do certain stuff there's no one to tell them "hey maybe let's not do that." There are instances that felt ignorant and unnecessary. In the Blue Carbuncle, they read a letter or a transcript from someone who saw an incident in the street (avoiding spoilers). I don't know how to phrase this, but it felt very much like they were mimicking some type of POC (most likely black). And they didn't put on a blaccent or anything, but just the fact that it was a white writer writing this making fun of how they spoke rubbed me the wrong way. And it went on far too long. Then there was Sherlock bowing at an Asian restaurant and John told him it was inappropriate, but I was stuck on why was it added? It wasn't humor and didn't have to do with a case. It shows Sherlock's ignorance, sure, but it just really didn't add anything. When it comes to content made by white british people, the bar on racial awareness for me is to the ground. I don't expect them not to have ignorant moments. But stuff like that, it is something that should be accounted for when you try to say something like it's "poc friendly." So would I say POC friendly, not really. Is it welcoming of everyone no matter what race or ethnicity? Yes. There's not a sign on the podcast that says POC do not enter, but be aware what majority demographic is a part of this and that they probably are going to say stuff out of ignorance.

*

*

*

I've been meaning to write this post for awhile, but I haven't gotten around to it. Plus, I wanted to see if anything else changed before I made a post. I genuinely don't see this as critiques just pointing out stuff for those who might go in thinking this podcast is something it's not. But I still put the criticism warning for people who might not want to see this. I really enjoy this podcast and it inspired me to read the original stories. They put a new spin on these stories that's modern, different, and still entertaining.

[poohsources]

i'm really curious to know how you create these sentence starter posts!!

hi there! honestly, it really depends on the kind of sentence starters i make. for example, if it's movie or tv show quotes, i look at the transcripts and write some quotes down that i think could work well in a roleplay scenario - in whatever capacity that might be. a while back, i decided to cap the sentence starters posts at 40 ( there are a few outliers to this rule, but typically i make sure to include exactly 40 prompts ), so i check whatever i have written down and choose the best ones. mostly at random, sometimes because i think i would enjoy it if someone sent these to me if i were still roleplaying here, and sometimes i pick the ones who are most different from each other so it's not only romance quotes, or only funny quotes, or whatever. if the meme is made from an existing medium ( songs, tv shows, books, movies, etc. ) i also just ... look up people's favorite quotes just to see what other people like about that.

as for the ones that are more theme-based ( e.g. fluffy starters, angst starters, holiday starters, etc. ) it's a mix between things i've heard or read somewhere, sentences i came up with, and everything in between. but it works similarly to how it does above - i write down whatever comes to my mind, re-read it and pick what i like best.

hope this answered your question !

[cellarspider]

Qunlat 4/12: Phonology

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Qunlat pronunciation has varied widely between voice actors, and it seems likely to continue to do so. I’m of the “follow your heart” style regarding this--if you like a certain pronunciation, go for it.

…But if your heart tells you “follow someone else!”, then I’ll try and help out here. You’ll just have to sit through a bit of linguistics history first, while I explain how Bioware has made this complicated.

So. The spelling of European languages started to fossilize with the arrival of the printing press, at about the same time Europeans started inflicting themselves on more people who didn’t use alphabets. How do you tell people how to pronounce “開顛窗”? If you’re writing the first Chinese dictionary published in Europe (c.1670), you spell it “Çai tiēn h'oâm”, based off of how Portuguese was spoken when an Italian jesuit tried to write down Chinese  in the mid-1500s, then you define it in French as “ouvrir une feneſtre du toi🙲 ou une lucarne.”: “open a roof window or skylight”. For the French, you use a ligature variant on "&" so old that some default fonts on modern computers don't include it anymore (hello mac users! You might be staring at a little square that says "01F672" right now, I swear it's supposed to be a C with a fancy hat).

Also you don’t write down “開顛窗” at all, because obviously that wouldn’t help anyone.

These days, if you run into Chinese written in an alphabet, it’ll be using the Pinyin standard. How does it spell “Çai tiēn h'oâm”?

“Kāi diān chuán”. Would you get that from “Çai tiēn h'oâm”? Hell, if you don’t know Pinyin, do you know how to pronounce “kāi diān chuán”?

Pinyin and our ad-hoc 1600s-French-1500s-Italian-Portuguese model of spelling Chinese encounters the problem of attempting a phonetic transcription of a language, trying to write down what they hear so that others can speak it. They also have the challenge of romanization, using the Latin alphabet to write out a language that doesn’t normally use it.

So. Qunlat, arising completely separately from English The Common Tongue, doesn’t use the Latin alphabet, doesn’t use–uh. The Common Tongue’s writing system, I don't think we actually have a canon name for that.⁽¹⁾ So all Qunlat we’ve seen written down is using a romanization. But is this romanization actually phonetic? Romanization doesn’t have to be. If I show you “Meraad astarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun”, do you know how to pronounce that?

As discussed previously, the voice actors for qunari have all given it their best shot, but come up with different results. We don’t know what the scripts they’ve read from have actually looked like, but we have one potential answer.

And now we have to go back to World of Thedas, volume 2, and meet with my nemesis again.

“MARE-awed a-STAR-eat, MARE-awed it-WAH-seat, ab-AWN AH-kyoon.”

Hooboy. 

This is possibly useful. It’s attributed in the fiction to Philliam, a Bard!, so it’s not reliable, but the fact that it’s been written out implies that the IRL writer behind them was attempting to give people a real pronunciation guide regardless.

This is what we call a pronunciation respelling, where words with ambiguous pronunciation are rewritten to act as a guide to the reader.

…But here’s the problem: How do you pronounce “a-STAR-eat”? It depends entirely on your native language, dialect, and accent, and unless we know who wrote this, we can’t tell what they meant. If you, dear reader, don’t have the same accent, you might come up with something completely different. Just for English alone, wikipedia lists twenty-five different systems, with not a single sound having consistent spelling between all of them.

How do we get around this? How do we write down not just words, but unambiguous sounds?

Welcome to the wonderful world of the International Phonetic Alphabet!

Originally created in the late 1800s, the IPA (no relation to the beer) is a system that assigns letters to sounds based off of how and where sounds are formed. It allows linguists to accurately record the sound of a language, as long as they have a good ear. And from that, other linguists can reproduce the sound of a language, as long as they know how to read IPA. It helps capture accents too: "Car" might seem like a simple word, but in IPA, it's spelled /kɑː/ if you're using RP British English, /kɑɹ/ for General American, [kʰäɾ] for the Scots, and [kʰaː] for Bostonians.

It’s not 100% perfect, but it’s a reliable way to transfer sounds through text. Hell, there’s now ways to plug in IPA to a website and have a little robot voice read it out for you, though they have limitations.⁽²⁾

I, personally, have a hell of a time remembering parts of the IPA. I’m always opening up the IPA Consonant Chart on Wikipedia, because that includes little sound samples of every consonant. The vowel chart is even more helpful, because I can never remember the poxy little bastards.

For a bonus: the vowel chart is mostly pronounced by a single wiki contributor, who speaks loudly and clearly. …But then there’s ɞ and ø̞, which appear to have been recorded by people who were far more shy about it, and ɤ̞ is provided by someone who pronounces it three times, and seems to die a little bit as they finish up. These are the things you entertain yourself with when you’re learning the IPA.

Anyway! If we want to make this pronunciation of Qunlat equally accessible to everyone,⁽³⁾ we should try to translate this guide into IPA.

We’re just going to assume that the writers, when constructing their pronunciation guide, were aiming for a General American or the similar Standard Canadian accent. Those are the regions Bioware is mostly based out of, and they’re the easiest to find phonetic pronunciation. So, for example, “a-STAR-eat” would be transcribed as /əˈstɑɹ.it/, or possibly /æˈstɑɹ.it/ depending on what they mean by “a-”. Already, you can see we have some uncertainty here because of our starting point, but we can take these IPA transcriptions and throw it in a speech synthesizer to get pretty unambiguous pronunciations!

You'll notice that most of the letters line up with how they're spelled in English, though some of the sounds don't line up with how you'd first think to pronounce them. That's especially true around vowels, so always be aware of that when reading IPA.

Now, one might ask, if it was relatively easy to convert this from a generally readable pronunciation guide into the unfamiliar and technical IPA, why bother? Well because I did in fact start with the easiest word to convert. The rest of these were a lot harder. 

How do you pronounce the Qunlat word “ir-vah”? Because according to Philliam, a Bard!, it's “ihr-vawh”. Does that actually make you feel confident you can say it right? “Aw” has a known pronunciation in English, but what's “awh”? What's the distinction? Is there a distinction?

I'm going to have to make assumptions here, informed by my own background with this stuff. It will, by definition, be an opinion rather than an authoritative source. I’ll go with what I think is the most uncomplicated solution, and we can see whether it sounds like what we expect.

So, to start with, I’ve made a breakdown of the sounds found in this text, and what IPA pronunciations they match up with. When the respelling has included english words as pronunciation guides (ex. “a-STAR-eat”), I’ve directly referred to the General American IPA transcription. When the respelling uses nonce words (ex. “AH-kyoon”), I’ve referred to the Oxford English Dictionary respelling system, as it was one of only two that contained the majority of the nonce word respellings. This allowed me to be consistent, though sometimes the text itself was not. Check out the “Phonetics - WoT2” sheet in the workbook linked below:

Note that some words have multiple pronunciations listed. This can sometimes be contextual (ex. “The” can be pronounced at least two different ways in English), but in some cases the context was identical, but the pronunciation was different. If we want an in-setting explanation for this, we can say the transcription was taken from people with different accents. Even different energy levels or moods can affect pronunciation. But honestly, I do not know if this was intentional. There are phonetic spellings that also work their way into the Qunari romanization as well in multiple places, even with words that were previously established under other spellings.

To hear the sentences spoken, plug one into an IPA synthesizer, though be warned: it’ll be a little janky, and a little jarringly American. I don’t actually think this is what the writer had in mind, but this is what they gave us, so I’d like to make it clear why we prefer using the IPA.

I’ve also created an inventory of the sounds in these excerpts, formatted as we would for phonemic and phonological inventories: a chart of the IPA used, and a list of what letters make which sounds. When the list includes something like /x~y~z/, means that the letter can be pronounced as x, y, or z in the wild. When there's a letter with no pronunciation, it means that it's in some sort of Qunlat somewhere, but it wasn't in these examples.

And I have to reiterate: I've reproduced the implied pronunciations from WoT vol.2 as faithfully as I can, but these pronunciations do not accurately reflect the actual way the words have been spoken in the games! You can compare performances to phrases or words in here, and note the difference in pronunciation and stress patterns. 

So, as before, I say to you: if you prefer a different pronunciation, use it. If you want to systematize that pronunciation, organize it and save it for reference, then use the IPA to help you. I can speak from experience, it will save you a lot of trouble if you note down your language work in IPA, rather than assuming you’ll remember your own pronunciation later. Go forth, and have fun with it.

Next time! Finally, the meat of a language: grammar.

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Footnotes

(1) Okay. I don't have enough material to make a full post on Qunlat scripts, so I'm going to just throw it in here, with a further digression about Common as a bonus. In brief: We have no consistent script for Qunlat. There's one in Those Who Speak which... it's okay? Reminds me a bit of Lontara or an Ulu script, but it doesn't have aesthetic cohesion. Inquisition uses another possible script on decorative horn coverings, which... It exists. I'll tell you right now, I'm working on creating a written script for Qunlat for personal use, and I'm not using either of these.

With regards to Common: the games usually seem to indicate that the Common Tongue is written in a runic script, which is not meant to be read by the players.

In Inquisition we have a weird split, courtesy of Varric's romance novels: Tales of the Champion, which the wiki says is "written in Orlesian", is just in English, and... backwards English on the facing page. It's in tiny squint-o-vision, but it is actually about Kirkwall's history and Hightown, and doesn't seem to be a copy-and-paste from anywhere else in the games. Cool!

But there's another book in the series with Aveline on the cover, which is very different. There's a new runic script there, which is mostly composed of rotations on actual runes, but they don't actually line up with any historical runic script. but there's not enough text available to see if it translates into anything. There's a bit that looks like it's supposed to be Varric's name that might give us the letters "V Te(th)ras", but none of those letters are in the title, so we have nothing else to compare to. The script is okay, but there's some letters I'd alter for visual consistency--runes were generally written using different combinations of just three line angles that remained as consistent as possible throughout a text. There's a letter in here that's just a triangle, and it doesn't fit the angles of the other letters at all. That triangle haunts me.

Here's the thing, though. There's also a couple books from Inquisition that I can tell were just straight-up written in an Anglo-Saxon rune font, then flipped upside down, which reminds me quite a bit of a certain web series I could mention. It's a short, non-canon English text repeated in different paragraph format, with some gibberish thrown in. I wasn't going to bother reading any of it once I realized it wasn't anything canon, but then I noticed there's a rogue "c" that appears to have survived the font change. Most runic scripts have no equivalent of "c", but Anglo-Saxon does, so I realized that had to be a capital C. And that's when I read:

"...that this is *not* the Cirth (Certhas) but the..."

Cirth is the writing system Tolkien made for Sindarin, Khuzdul, and Westron.

I think what we're looking at is part of the setting documentation, basically saying, like, 'we want the Common Tongue to look like Cirth, but not actually be Cirth because the legal department told us not to'.

(2) Many of these IPA-to-text things are language-specific. They’re only loaded with the sounds that are used in the language they were created for–so for this one, stick to english text-to-speech IPA synthesizers. Also, you will definitely note accent differences between different synthesizers, even when given the same input! Some of that is due to dialect-specific restrictions on what sounds they pronounce, but there's also smaller distinctions that the IPA is capable of reflecting, but in practice we don't transcribe things with 100% precision.

(3) Of course there’s the caveat that the IPA is based off of the Latin alphabet to begin with, so it makes the most sense to people who already use some form of it. One of the problems is that alphabets are actually uniquely suited to the task of phonetic writing, for reasons I’ll eventually get into. But I’m not actually aware of any equivalents that have been constructed for use with other alphabets or scripts, beyond a number of neography hobbyists (for Kannada, Arabic, etc.), including that one tumblr user who scared off an insufferable dude in a coffee shop by talking about the IPA equivalent they were making that was somewhat based off of the Georgian alphabet. That person is incredible.

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[intuitive-revelations]

I've been waiting to post this for ages, so here it is (even if it's technically no longer Pride Month as intended, shut up, I'm not waiting another year)!

An unexhaustive list of moments across every incarnation in which the Doctor is very straight, very cis, very allo, and very gender-conforming. /s

Or in other words:

[ID: The astronaut "always has been" meme - One astronaut looks at caps of the Fourteenth Doctor talking about finding Newton hot and Fifteen kissing Rogue, saying "Wait...the Doctor's queer now?". A second astronaut behind points a pistol at the first, replying "Always has been."]

In all seriousness, I tried my best to capture as much as I could. It was a more a matter of running up against the limits of what I can squeeze into a Tumblr post than anything else. Even as it is, a lot of the clips are more compressed than I'd like, and Tumblr's downscaled GIF versions are messing up some of my transparent borders.

A lot of stuff is more subtextual and gradual (particularly in stuff like the EDAs), but I tried my best to represent these with particular moments where possible, without clogging the entire thing up with subtle writing and acting choices. There's also a lot more I could have added in regard to cross-gender regenerations, of course, but I avoided too many of these since they don't necessarily imply genderqueerness on an individual incarnation / actor basis. It would also mean giffing every second Thirteen, Fugitive etc. are on-screen.

Obviously, some of these are much more stretches than others (jokes, friendly kisses etc.), before anyone feels like they need to dispute them, but fall nicely into the pattern with everything else, so were included too.

Finally, if you've got something obvious I missed, feel free to add below!

A very long GIF ID and list of sources under the read more:

[ID: A series of gifs showing moments in which the Doctor potentially comes off as queer, trans, asexual, or gender non-conforming, or at least is part of a subtext that can be read as such, distributed in an extended rainbow pattern roughly based on the Progress pride flag. In order, row by row:

1. New Who - The Vanquishers - Thirteen remarks to Dan and Yaz about her duplicate: "I've got such a crush on her."

2. BF - The Sword of the Chevalier transcript:

ROSE: But is he-... she- DOCTOR: She is what ever she says she is. Who cares about gender anyway? It's an archaic concept. Right now, she's a woman.

3. New Who - The Vanquishers - A trapped Thirteen says to her duplicate, "Hi! Wow... you're cute!" The other Thirteen replies, "Thanks. So are you!"

4. BF - Seasons of Fear transcript:

CHARLEY: Another wonderful opportunity to wear a nice dress. DOCTOR: Wouldn't that be a bit conspicuous? CHARLEY: An opportunity for me.

5. BF - Seasons of Fear transcript:

DOCTOR: Are you confusing me with someone else? I'm not the one who says ‘you must obey me’. I don't meddle. And I'm not a glamorous woman at the moment.

6. New Who - The Sound of Drums - Ten on the phone with the Master begs, "Don't you see, all we've got is each other." The Master snarks back, "Are you asking me on a date?!"

7. EDA - The Scarlet Empress:

'You've got the Doctor all wrong. He's not a sexist pig like Gila.' 'He can't help what he is. His gender is alien, but intransigent. The cosmos is guided by male and female impulses - quite separate…' "That's crap!' Sam shouted."The Doctor isn't your average man, at all. I don't think he even has a gender. How can you - whoever you are - pontificate on what he's like? He's private. He's untouchable.'

8. New Who - The Fires of Pompeii - Ten sneaks into the Temple of Sybil. Seer Spurrina says, "No man is allowed to enter the Temple of Sibyl." Ten shrugs and says, "Well, that's all right. Just us girls."

9. EDA - To the Slaughter:

'Yes, me!' The Doctor took Fitz's hand, kissed it delicately, then shoved him aside. 'Now, out of my way!'

10. New Who - Wishworld - Rogue on a TV screen, speaking from a hellish dimension, says "I miss you. Well... more than that. I love y-" before being interrupted by the signal breaking.

11. NSA - Engines of War:

Urgh,’ said Cinder, letting go of the Doctor’s hand and getting to her feet. ‘My leggings are soaked through.’ She helped the Doctor up. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I’m sure there’ll be something similar in one of the TARDIS’s wardrobes.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘Fond of women’s clothes, are we?’ ‘Yes,’ he said, indicating his muddy trousers. ‘Clearly, I have a penchant.’

12. New Who - Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2 - Amy, fresh off trying to seduce him, points at Eleven and says "You are a bloke." He replies, "I'm the Doctor."

13. New Who - Wishworld - John Smith sits and talks about Rogue to Belinda. "There was a man on the TV... and I really liked him."

14. EDA - The Turing Test:

He glanced up. ‘I don’t recommend it, by the way.’ ‘You’ve tried?’ I asked dryly. ‘We – I –’ He shrugged. ‘It’s not something that interests me.’ ‘Sex?’ ‘Yes. It’s a missing piece in my life.’

15. New Who - The Power of Three - Rory kisses the Doctor thank you on the cheek as Amy looks on. Eleven reacts bashfully.

16. EDA - The Year of Intelligent Tigers:

‘Is this it?’ The Doctor let go of Karl. His gaze swept around the cool river, the sweet meadow, the silent trees. In the east the ringed moon was rising, silvering the deep blue of the sky. His eyes came back to the composer. ‘Is this home?’ Karl hoped so. But he didn’t say anything

17. New Who - The Church on Ruby Road - Fifteen and Ruby are tied up on the Goblin ship. He says, "Oh, but it's Lulubelle's birthday." He then says as an aside, "That's such a brilliant name! I wish I was called Lulubelle."

18. New Who - Time Crash - Five replies to Ten, "Oh no, really? Does he [the Master] still have that rubbish beard?" Ten: "No, no beard this time. Well... a wife."

19. EDA - Legacy of the Daleks:

‘I know better than to trust the word of any man ever again,’ ‘Don’t, trust the word of a Time Lord.’

20. New Who - The Church on Ruby Road - Fifteen gets his hands free. Ruby asks "Wait, how did you do that?". He replies, "I spent a long hot summer with Harry Houdini." to her pleasant surprise.

21. New Who - Spyfall Part Two - Thirteen announces herself to a crowd as "The Marvellous Apparating Man", before correcting herself, "(Lady) Apparating Lady! (Every time...)".

22. New Who - Rogue - Rogue asks Fifteen, "I think you and I should go outside." then walks off. Fifteen mutters "Fast mover..."

23. New Who - The Impossible Astronaut - Eleven calls out "Jefferson isn't a girl's name, it's not her name either." He turns to River, "Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton - River?" She replies, "Surnames of three of America's founding fathers." He then says, "Lovely fellas. Two of them fancied me."

24. EDA - The Turing Test:

I learned that Turing was in love with the Doctor, an excited, hopeless, sexual yet nonsexual, adoring, stupid, profound love that had turned his whole life upside down. ‘Do you think he feels anything for me?’ asked Turing.

25. New Who - The Shakespeare Code - Ten tells Martha and Shakespeare, "Come on, we can all have a good flirt later!" The latter replies, "Is that a promise, Doctor?"

26. New Who - The Interstellar Song Contest - Fifteen mentions, with regards to Graham Norton, "I met him at Brighton Pride. What a weekend!"

27. New Who - Human Nature - As Tim Latimer listens to the Doctor's fobwatch, he hears voices of different genders in the Doctor's essense.

28. New Who - Rogue - Rogue proposes to the Doctor, holding up a ring which Fifteen gently takes.

29. New Who - The Reality War - Kate, still under the wish's control, remarks "Mr Smith, what on Earth do you think you're wearing." He walks up to her in his skirt/kilt, responding, "The future!"

30. New Who - Utopia - Yana sat down, bends over Ten crouched in front of him and says, "Still, no rest for the wicked." As he stands, Ten smirks.

31. New Who - Wishworld - Under the wish, Ibrahim says to Fifteen, as John Smith, "She's way out of my league.", referring to Kate. Fifteen brushes his concerns off, saying, "Oh, she's not, you're a beautiful man!"

32. New Who - Wishworld - Continuing from 31, Ibrahim corners Fifteen, "You're a man. How can you find another man beautiful?"

33. BF - Afterlife:

DOCTOR: Tell this to your gods. When they punish you. When they stretch you on the neutron rack. I’m still here. LILY: But you…? You’re one.. little… man. DOCTOR:I am not a man. Not a human being. I am a complex space-time event. I am Lord President of Gallifrey. The Traveller from Beyond Time. I am the Sandman. The Oncoming Storm. I am the Ka Faraq Gatri. Destroyer of Worlds. And sometimes. Only sometimes, I am your worst nightmare. I am the Doctor. And I take care of my friends.

34. New Who - The Magician's Apprentice - Missy tells Clara that she's cared for the Doctor, "Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

35. Classic Who - Kinda - Panna says infront of Five, "No male can open the Box of Jhana without being driven out of his mind. It is well known. Unless. Is he an idiot?"

36. Titan - A Little Help from My Friends - Ryan says with regards to meeting Ten, "Still hard to believe that was you." Thirteen replies, "Biological sex is flexible among my people, and gender is merely a social construct." She smirks, "Quite simple, really."

37. Classic Who - Terror of the Autons - The Brigadier asks Three, with regards to the Master, "Think he'll turn up again, Doctor?" Three replies, "Hm, bound to." Jo notices, "You don't seem very worried about it." only for him to respond, smiling and raising his eyebrows, "I'm not. As a matter of fact, I'm rather looking forward to it."

38. Novelisation - Rose:

She’d listened to Clive’s stories. She’d read his files. She knew that every age had some sort of Doctor, whether young or old, male or female, in-between or neither, black or white or anything.

39. New Who - Let's Kill Hitler - Eleven tells Amy, Rory, and Mels, "I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant. The men were a bit shy."

40. Classic Who - The Time Monster - Jo listens to a telepathic message being broadcast by Three, under which can be heard whispers from voices of different genders, coming from the Doctor's subconscious.

41. New Who - The Eaters of Light - Twelve tells Bill, "I've lived in Roman Britain: governed, farmed, juggled. Speaking as a former vestal virgin, second-class, I can assure you-"

42. Torchwood - Fragments - Alice Guppy, interrogating Jack, quotes words overheard from him: "You wait until I see the Doctor. First I'm going to kiss him. Then I'm going to kill him."

43. New Who - Dot and Bubble - Ruby and Fifteen respectively reply to Lindy regarding running into Ricky September, "Oh, nice one!" and "He's hot." Then then snap at each other simultaneously, "Hands off!".

44. New Who - The Hungry Earth (deleted scene) - Eleven chats to Amy about Rory, "I like him." He then chuckles bashfully and adds, "A lot."

45. Classic Who - The Daemons - Three, tied up and about to be burnt alive is told, "If he's such a great magician, let's see him untie himself." Three responds, "You choose to mock the great Qui Quae Quod." Each of these words used in his 'wizard' name, is latin for "who", first masculine, then feminine, then gender-neutral.

46. New Who - Dot and Bubble - Continuing from 43, Fifteen compliments Ricky, "Clever as well..." Ricky shrugs, "Eh..." Ruby looks at Fifteen and says, "Okay, Heartstopper."

47. PDA - The Murder Game:

What are you playing at, dressed like that?' Ben wanted to know, to the Doctor's visible dismay. 'Don't you like it? I'm just helping out Mr Hornby with a slight gender imbalance. I got the wig from the TARDIS, but I think it works rather well with the outfit, don't you?' He brushed a stray hair from his face and grinned disarmingly. 'I had to improvise with the bustle though, using coat hangers.' He patted his wire-frame chest and looked comically startled as it dropped to his stomach. Polly laughed and assured him that he made a most convincing woman, as he struggled to adjust himself.

48. BF - The Wormery:

DOCTOR: Love. Huh. Wrote a treatise on the chromosomal origins of love once when | was a small boy. Proved categorically which gene began it, which enzymes carried it, which electrochemical receptors translated it. Took all the fun out of it. Got a rubbish grade too. My tutor told me I’d missed the point. It’s held no mystique for me since, so don’t talk to me about love.

49. Classic Who - The Daemons - Winstanley asks Three, "Are you one of these television chaps then?" Three replies "I am no sort of chap, sir." "Forgive me, but I thought. Well, the costume and the wig, you know?" Three, outraged, responds, "Wig?!"

50. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen flirtilly dances to "Can't Get You Out of My Head", mouthing the words at Rogue.

51. EDA - Interference: Book One:

‘Can I ask you something personal?’ he said. I.M. Foreman nodded. ‘I warn you, though. If it’s anything to do with how I got this body, the details are going to be messy. You’ve never been a woman, have you?’ ‘I’m not sure I’ve ever even been a man. That’s not what I was going to ask.

52. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen and Rogue kiss passionately.

53. BF - Archipelago:

DOCTOR: There was a lovely woman in Yorkshire, gave me chipsticks. And you should have seen the way that Lady MacBeth made eyes at me. But this me doesn't. Couldn't.

54. EDA - Dominion:

The Doctor stood up, a look of amazement on his face, and then to Fitz’s considerable surprise he bounded over, grabbed his head and planted a kiss squarely on his lips. ‘Oh, Fitz! Fitz, Fitz, Fitz! I’m so glad you’re alive!

55. New Who - The Eleventh Hour - Eleven asks Amy, "Your friend, what was his name? Not him [Rory], the good looking one?" Rory mutters, "Thanks", as Amy replies "Jeff." Rory responds "Oh... thanks!"

56, 57, 60, 61. New Who - Legend of the Sea Devils - Thrteen opens up to Yaz. "Dates are not something I really do, y'know. I mean I used to, have done, and if I was going to, believe me, it'd be with you. I think you're one of the greatest people I've ever known. Including my wife!" Yaz, surprised, responds, "Your what?" Thirteen continues, "Ah, wasn't going to mention that. I was a long time ago - I was a different man back then. But the point is, if it was going to be anyone... it'd be you."

58. EDA - Timeless:

‘They’re not Old Bill, Tommo,’ Jack said, sneering at her. ‘A potty-mouthed yank and a poof in a waistcoat.’ ‘Do you want to be on a charge of discrimination too?’ said the Doctor calmly, producing a notebook and pencil.

59. New Who - The Robot Revolution - Fifteen holds an x-ray blanket infront of himself, which registers his sex as "Unknown".

62. New Who - The Time of the Doctor - Clara tells Eleven on the phone, "I may have... accidentally invented a boyfriend." He replies, "Yeah, I did that once and there's no easy way to get rid of an android."

63. New Who - Dinosaurs on a Spaceship - Eleven runs up to Rory, shouting, "Good thinking, Rory!" before planting a big kiss on his lips.

64. New Who - Day of the Moon - As Amy and Rory wake up in their body bags, Eleven runs over to Rory and kisses him on the head, checking if he's ok.

65. New Who - The Star Beast - Fourteen holds up his psychic paper to Shaun, citing a title as "Grandmaster of the Knowledge". Shaun points out, "That says 'Grandmistress'..." Fourteen looks at it, then groans at it, "Oh, catch up!"

66. New Who - Legend of the Sea Devils - Yaz and Thirteen stand in the TARDIS doorway at the bottom of the sea. Thirteen says "Not a bad date, am I?" When she realises she struck a nerve, she turns away. Yaz turns to her and says, "No."

67. EDA - Beltempest:

Because I'm a man and you're a woman?' 'Yes, actually.' The Doctor raised his eyebrows. 'But I'm not a man.' Sam opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again. He continued, 'I'm not even human. Not even close. Not unless you count the ears.' He wiggled them to make his point.

68. New Who - The Reality War - Thirteen, upon hearing Fifteen tell her "I love you" says "I should say that to Yaz!" Fifteen replies, "You never do. But she knows."

69. New Who - Lucky Day - Conrad asks Ruby about the Doctor, "Was he your boyfriend?" She chuckles, "No. God, no! If he was here, he'd be flirting with you."

70. New Who - Daleks in Manhatten - Martha tells Ten, "I'm so glad to see you." He replies, "Yeah, well, you can kiss me later." He then adds to Frank behind him, "You too, Frank, if you want."

71. New Who - The Power of the Doctor - Yaz and Thirteen, shortly before her regeneration, lick their ice creams as they watch the Earth from orbit ontop of the TARDIS.

72. Short Trip - The Feast of Seven… Eight (and Nine):

The Eighth had brought some mistletoe, And aimed for Seven, to Seven's woe: Ah! No! Rrurevolting! Ace! D'you mind? Try Six, he's more that way inclined.' ... I knew Puccini once,' sighed Eight, `He had the softest lips.' That's great, But stay away from me, you sissy,' Four looked cautious, Eight looked kissy. Three o'clock, the Queen appeared, The Third, all patriotic, cheered, But Eight, lips puckered, mistletoe handy, Went for the clown and got the dandy.

73. The Curse of Fatal Death - The newly regenerated COFD!Thirteen says to Emma, "Your mother's going to get a bit of a surprise at the wedding isn't she? Do you think we'll both wear white?"

74, 75. New Who - Closing Time - Distracting Craig, Eleven pulls him close and says, "...because I love you." "You love me?" Craig replies. "Yes, Craig. It's you. It's always been you." "Me?"

Eleven then puts his arms around him, leading Craig to ask, "Doctor, are you going to kiss me?" He replies, "Yes, Craig. Yes I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I've had some wonderful feedback."

76. New Who - The Parting of the Ways - Jack plants a goodbye kiss on Nine's lips.

77, 78. New Who - Eve of the Daleks - Dan confronts Thirteen about Yaz. "No, I mean, she 'likes' you." "I don't understand what you're saying, Dan." He then responds, "I think you do. But for some reason, you pretend to me and to her that you don't."

79. New Who - The Unquiet Dead (deleted scene):

SNEED: "I thought you'd be a woman" DOCTOR: "No, not yet"

80. New Who - Time Heist - As Psi goes to leave the TARDIS, Twelve makes a 'call me' sign at him.

81. BF - Swipe Right:

RIVER: Doctor, for someone so smart, you can be so stupid. 'Someone with no romantic feelings?' It's you! Much as it pains me to say it. Apparently, it's you. DOCTOR: It's me! Ha! Of course, it's me!

82. EDA - Eater of Wasps:

‘Have you remembered what you were doing in 1933 yet?’ asked Fitz. ‘I mean, the last time you were here?’ ‘Oh, yes,’ said the Doctor. ‘But I was a long way from here – I spent some time sailing the South Seas roundabout now.’ Fitz gaped. ‘A sailor? I don’t believe it. Go on, give us a jig!’ The Doctor laughed. ‘Not likely – but I’ll show you my tattoo if you’re lucky.’

83. New Who - Eve of the Daleks - Thirteen gazes lovingly at Yaz, as they watch the warehouse's fireworks explode.

84. VNA - Human Nature:

'We let it be known that he was in a position to give a Time Lord whatever form or mind they wanted. That's a particular dream of Gallifreyans, as I knew from wandering through that young Interventionist's mind.

They regenerate and find themselves to be much the same, and every now and then they dream how wonderful it would be to be able to fly or be of the opposite sex or have a child. That last is a very common dream, for children on Gallifrey are very rare.'

85. EDA - Parallel 59:

[The Doctor] whistled as he walked, Fitz’s plaintive little melody still in his head. Thinking of loved ones, coming home.

86. BF - The Vanity Box:

DOCTOR: Nesta, will you help me? I’ve got to get into that salon, under cover, and get a closer look. MEL: Doctor, | could go in instead of you. DOCTOR: | don’t think anyone would believe you need a make-over, Mel. And besides, | think it’s going to be chillingly dangerous. NESTA: Actually, | can manage a bourbon if | dunk it in me tea. I’ll freshen the pot. Now, tell me how | can help you, Doctor. I’m not happy about this poodle parlour on our doorstep. DOCTOR: | want you to drag me up.

87. Classic Who - The Chase - One tells Ian, "My dear boy, I could kiss you!" Barbara replies, "Don't waste it on him. Kiss me instead!" He responds, "Oh, I'd be delighted."

89. Classic Who - The Highlanders - Two, dressed up as a washerwoman, tells Perkins at gunpoint, "I tell you what we're going to do. We ladies are going to leave first, but you are going to sit here, quietly, comfortably, for another ten minutes."

90. Scream of the Shalka - The TARDIS's answering machine goes off. The Shalka Doctor says, breathlessly and giggling, "You've reached the good ship TARDIS. We're rather busy at the moment. Leave a message after the beep and we'll try and get back to you before your call." He then laughs "Stop that!" before the beep. The Shalka Master then notes, "We really should change that message."

91. EDA - Earthworld:

He helped Anji to take her blazer off – somehow it didn’t matter that the Doctor was seeing her like that, he seemed to count in her head as another girl – and gave her his velvet coat to replace it

92. Classic Who - The Highlanders - Two tells Grey, with regards to Jamie, "Did you mark the young Highlander who was with me? The piper?" "Piper?" "With the soft hands and face?"

93. Classic Who - The Enemy of the World - Two comments on Salamander, "He seems to be a public benefactor. Quite a speaker too, and remarkably handsome, didn't you think so Jamie?" He turns to Jamie, who nudges him smiling in response.

94. BF - The Eye of the Storm:

DOCTOR: I never kiss strange people. No matter how beautiful, how fascinating, how intriguing they might be. And you might very well be any of those things.

95. New Who - The End of Time: Part Two - Ten, tied up, gazes at the Master and says, "I wonder what I'd be... without you." The Master tears up listening to this.

96. Classic Who - The City of Death - Four tells Countess Scarlioni, "Oh, well... you're a beautiful woman, probably..."

97. EDA - The Turing Test:

I will say now, however, that I do not think Greene was right: the Doctor is not an angel, though he may not be a man, exactly, either. I desired him as a man, loved him as one, but my love did not blind me, nor make me religious!

98, 99. New Who - World Enough and Time - Twelve tells Bill of Missy, "She was my man crush!" "Wh- I'm sorry?" "Yeah... I think she was a man back then. I'm fairly sure I was too, it was a long time ago though."

When Bill asks about Time Lord gender, Twelve replies: "We're the most civilised civilisation in the universe! We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes."

100. New Who - First Night - River sees the dress hanging in the TARDIS for her, "The Dress is a little daring!" Eleven, in a white tuxedo, replies, "Yep, so I went for this instead."

101. New Who - Arachnids in the UK - Yaz's mum Najia asks Thirteen and Yaz, "Are you two seeing each other?" Yaz gives a confused look as Thirteen responds, "I don't think so... are we?"

102. New Who - Once Upon Time - Sonya tells Yaz she wants to get good at games so "[her crush's] gonna look me and think 'who's the sexy girl with the nimble fingers?'" Yaz retorts, "No human being is ever gonna look at you and think those words." As if on cue, Thirteen suddenly glitches into the scene in Sonya's place.

103. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen and Rogue dance together in the ballroom, in front of all the guests.

104. New Who - The Story and the Engine - Fifteen tells the Barber, "Anansi purposefully lost a bet to make me marry one of his daughters. I know the gods. You are not them." Meanwhile, Abena looks on.

105. New Who - The Story and the Engine - Jo Martin's Doctor tells Abena, "I was a fugitve back then. Anansi was wrong to offer that bet. And frankly, darling, I was busy in a different story."

106. Classic Who - The Green Death - Yates appraches Three, who is disguised as a cleaning woman and says, "...I like your handbag." Three, still in character, replies, "Do you? Well watch out I don't slosh you wish it." He pushes his bucket at Yates jokingly, then drops his voice, "Now where can we talk?"

107. NSA - Revenge of the Judoon:

"Lords, ladies and Doctors this way, please."

108. EDA - The Book of the Still:

'You go if you want. I must help him.' 'Fitz!' 'I've been engineered to love you, Carmodi. With the Doctor - it's the real thing.'

109. EDA - The Blue Angel:

Fitz swallowed hard. He was the one who was raving mad. He was in the midst of the most ridiculous danger, horse-riding down a mountainside, probably about to die and, in the final few minutes of his life, what was passing through his mind? Not the greatest, most fulfilling moments in this life - but a consideration of his chances of getting laid by Iris . . . and even of getting laid by the Doctor. What was it about Time Lords?

110. BF - 1963: The Assassination Games:

GILMORE: Uh, “man” is something of a misnomer. I think he’s best described as… an outsider.

111. New Who - The Star Beast - Donna and Fourteen, conclude, "Because the Doctor's male and female." Elsewhere, but connected through the metacrisis, Rose Noble finishes, "and neither, and more!"

112. New Who - Dinosaurs on a Spaceship - Eleven tells Solomon about the Schubert music he's playing, "Say hello to hands three and four! Schubert kept tickling me to try and put me off." He then smiles, "'Franz the Hands'. Oh, that takes me back."

113. New Who - Death in Heaven - Clara tells Twelve, "Go be a king or something." "Yeah... might do that." She then adds, "Or queen, y'know, whatever..." "Yeah, queen, that would be good too."

114. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen quietly puts on the ring Rogue proposed to him with.

115. IDW - Bodysnatched! - Eleven, swapped into Amy's body tells Rory while applying a bow tie, "I suppose it is more difficult for you - Time Lords don't really worry that much about what sex they are. Romana was a Time Lady and she was easily equal to me. Sometimes anyway, when she didn't use the dog. I'm a woman now. Women are cool."

116. New Who - Closing Time - Elven chats with a saleswoman, Val, who says, "I think you look ever so sweet: you and your partner [Craig] and the baby." He responds, "'Partner', yes I like it. Is it better than 'companion'?" She answers, "'Companion'... sounds old fashioned. There's no need to be coy these days."

117. New Who - Rogue - Seeing the TARDIS, Rogue opens his arms wide and says "I'm in love!" Fifteen reacts surprised, before Rogue adds, "With this machine." Fifteen then smirks.

118. IDW - Bodysnatched! - Rory, thinking Amy is still in Eleven's body, kisses him. Eleven steps back and says, "As passionate as that was, Rory, don't you think you should be kissing your wife, not me?" Amy says, "Oh no. Do it again. But do it... slower."

119. Classic Who - The Mutants - Sondergaard tells Three, "If you spend any time in there without [a radiation suit], Doctor, you will die. Any man would." Three retorts, "Any 'man', perhaps."

120. BF - An Eye for Murder:

DOCTOR: Oh don't think of me as a man. Just the Doctor.

121. BF - Deleted Scenes:

CELINE: [The Doctor] loves you [Jamie], dearly. As do I.

122. FASA Doctor Who RPG - A Sourcebook for Field Agents:

The Master

This entry contains information on one of Gallifrey's most dangerous enemies, the renegade Time Lord known as The Master. The Master has, in some fashion yet unknown, erased his Biodata entry from the APC Net. As a result, the only information about him that we now possess has been drawn from the memories of the Doctor. It is, therefore, highly subjective, and Time Lords consulting this section should be aware that The Doctor's perceptions do not always correspond with Reality.

Appearance: Height: Average Build: Average Looks: Sinfully attractive Apparent Age: Middle-aged Actual Age: 800+ Number Of Regenerations Used: 12 (now using stolen body) Recognition Handle: Satanic beard; piercing blue eyes; black dress; black gloves.

123. New Who - Smile - As Bill goes to eat her algae-based meal, Twelve wistfully tells her, "I met an emperor made of algae one. He fancied me..."

124. New Who - Wild Blue Yonder - Donna and Fourteen chat about bumping into Isaac Newton. She says, "Was it me... or was Isaac Newton hot?" He replies, "He was, wasn't he? He was SO hot." Fourteen then catches himself, "Oh? Is that who I am now?" Donna then replies, "Well it was never that far from the surface, mate. I always thought..."

125. BF - 1963: The Assassination Games:

DOCTOR: A man after my own heart. GILMORE: Except you’re not a man. DOCTOR: And I have two hearts.

126. TVC - Undercover - Three again disguises himself as a woman to obtain captured information for UNIT.

127. New Who - The Star Beast - Prompted by Rose, Fourteen asks Beep the Meep, "Are you he, or she, or they...?" The Meep responds, "My chosen pronoun is the definite article. I am always, 'the Meep'. He then replies, "Oh, I do that."

128. Titan - Ophiuchus - Nyssa says to Five, "I didn't know that Time Lords could change gender, Doctor." He returns, "Gender is a very fluid concept, Nyssa, for some people more than others. A Time Lord even more so."

129. New Who - The Doctor Dances - Rose tells Nine, "I thought Jack might like this dance." Nine dancing, replies, "I'm sure he would Rose. I'm absolutely certain. But who with?"

130. EDA - The Slow Empire:

Once, there was a man called the Doctor, although he was not precisely a man and that was not his real name.

131. Novelisation - The Day of the Doctor:

‘I’ve been around a bit, Clara, I’m probably married to lots of people, it happens,’ he said, and made a dismissive hand gesture, to suggest that the occasional marriage was really no more than a parking ticket, and a moment later heard a vase smash behind him. He really had to get his peripheral movements under control. ‘But to her, though?’ ‘Oh, to her, to him, to who-knows. Sometimes the conversation just gets out of control. I think I’m even married to Jack Harkness, but there were a lot of people in the room at the time, it was hard to keep track.

132. New Who - The Doctor Dances - Rose remarks about Jack, "And he's vanished into thin air. Why's it always the great-looking ones who do that?" Nine looks up, "I'm making an effort not to be insulted." She then specifies, "I mean... 'men'." He grins and nods, "Okay, thanks, that really helped."

133. NSA - The Good Doctor:

'Scan me again. I’m not loba or human. I’m not man or woman in the way you understand it.'

134. New Who - Boom Town: Jack and Nine flirt with eachother watching Mickey and Rose. Jack starts, "Aw, sweet, look at these two. How come I never get any of that?" Nine, fixing up the TARDIS replies, "Buy me a drink first." "Such hard work..." "But worth it."

[whomstwedointheshadows]

Hello, yes you Nandermo shippers, would you like to come along to delulu land?

I have some thoughts on the clickbaitiness of Paul Simms. Reading the transcript of the Nandermo moment (all hail @kyrilu for doing the damn thing on our behalf) and there’s two follow up segments to frame the Nandermo comment from a PR/fuck-around option.

1) the Kiss card was brought up by the interviewer, seemingly pulling the writer ms back to the topic of the panel, segueing to important, pre-planned questions.

I’m not sure where the information about the existence of Nandor+Guillermo+Kiss was first published. Regardless, this had to be a pre-cleared question. Behind the scenes, these media panels absolutely clear questions and topics in advance.

2) Vulture is posting reviews and materials very, very shippy of Nandermo. This was the ship friendliest possible room full of media explicitly gathered to drum up buzz for the new season. It wasn’t a random instagram stream about their writing process. The interviewer confirms the infidelity theme-then there’s going to be some backtracking to make it ‘sooo not sexual’ - the headline is not ‘Nandermo Infidelity Cofirmed’ now it’s ‘That Moment Wasn’t Sexual’

[sidebar: I have no idea how the strikes affected the usual publicity cycle and what impact that has on numbers, other than it definitely did. I would imagine those conversations and reactions to their ‘material’ has some sway/inspiration over the next season, from a producing standpoint or the general glee of a creator reading responses. It’s incredibly fortunate for the show there was already a season in process to come back and make due to the two season renewal. At the time of planning this panel it was not known when the actors strike would end, which I imagine changes the plan for promo cycles, especially one they were already adapting. My guess is the season 5 actors promo was completed based on our media, but any ‘soft power’ that comes from writers work/networking/teasing was altered. We missed anything they planned/reacted/tweeted while the show was airing. TLDR: this panel is coming after a long period of not rattling sabers from the writers.]

I put all of this here to say, as much as I don’t know about the business-side of show business, everyone was explicitly in that room to generate media and attention and demand for the show. That’s the actual point of the event, which absolutely has an impact on word choice. They’re comedy writers, with a flair for dramatic also doing the business part with a streak of evil teasing their audience.

Alrighty, foundation established, the big question and the Best Fan Interjection:

I salute you, sassy audience.

3) The WORDS

Word choice: hook-up

Does ‘the greatest romance on television’ have a one-off hook up, or does it get wrapped in plot and Have Significance and Pay-Off for all of the tension? What’s the most entertaining way in service of the show that’s worth losing the Will-they-Won’t-they dynamic? Can they subvert expectations in a way that makes the writers feel smart and like they’ve spent years building it is worth the investment from the audience? I have theories about A Secret Third Thing for absurdity being the direction they prefer on wwdits. It’s got be a big gambit to land to anyone’s satisfaction.

For an in character analysis of the infidelity not being sexual- I’m just going to put the concept of ‘honor’ and what being a familiar is in vampiric society, that this interpretation is absolutely fair as a breach of trust between Nandor and Guillermo. This response reads as truthful about that specific plot line ignoring everything fucking sexual about vampires, vows and penetration. Yes, he’s right- they didn’t fuck nasty on camera, it was just an intimate betrayal that maps really well giving someone you admire power over you, but realizing what they think is best for you, best for them, and what you want are all different things. That’s another story specific to this plotline. Also super common in anti-sitcom divorce tropes.

Would there be an entertaining story if Nandermo went all-in right now, for these characters? Or would it erase development and stagnate in a hierarchy?

I do think writers feel a responsibility to their stories and their audiences, even if the audience doesn’t like parts. I think WWDITS is a very smart show that loves/hates vampires and sitcoms, and it is always going to choose the highest setting on the dial for dark comedy on a subverted sitcom trope, which means while it can be an absolute riot with horrendous implications so it has to pull back enough for the next episode to be in the format with a new conceit.

There’s toxic co-dependent idiots Nandermo, and then there’s cruel, abusive, worst impulses working against each other being explicit, which kills the heart of the show.

4) What’s the Job?

WWDITS Audience: I don’t think the writers actually think it’s a little group of queer fans getting over invested on Nandermo. In fact, I think they are aware of the past Queerbaiting Sins of Network Television based on their serious storylines for queer characters. I think the archetypes and themes of the show specifically court that audience, and each season has only been more to those tastes by laying a solid foundation to explore what hasn’t been the focus of storytelling in the past. I think writers are a tricksy bunch and they’ve got a team who takes the dynamics seriously enough to tell the story of getting to a better place for the characters and entertainment. Hell, there’s a writer from Frasier on the panel who talks about slow burns.

Knowing that shipping has a long history, everyone is absolutely working from previous playbooks on how to tease and shape a story.

Even if a ship goes canon, absolutely no one is going to confirm it before it happens.

[Trickster storytellers, those liars, always wanting us to see their work unfold rather than spoil the ending. Even when they foreshadow or use dread, it’s just so they can feel smart about their lies when we look back, damn writers, emotional vampires. ]

While I shouldn’t underestimate the power of a straight white guy to mansplain some homophobic spice to ‘deeper than sex’ queerness, looking at the media of the actual show, the romantic ship framing is not in question. I’m of the persuasion it’s been great queer representation by having complex queer characters with varied ambitions and obstacles, often their choices driving the story for comedic/dramatic effect, of very selfish, horrible people.

That established, especially because the show has increasingly grown to be more visibly queer, the characters also have to be compelling to watch in their individual journeys even if a ship goes canon. However, no one would be satisfied if the fulfillment of a Nandermo ship was at the cost of the whole household or the characters themselves. The ‘Sunrise, Sunset’ and ‘No One Ever Really Dies in Shadows’ principles lead to an educated guess even if Nandermo becomes canon and carry their own plotlines, the episodes of the show are still going to be the dark, twisted ensemble shenanigans with sucker punches of heart. We love our djinn-curses in the narrative.

So, if ‘you don’t want what you think you want’ has relevance, I see it as these characters are not at their most compelling to get together-yet, as individuals or in the narrative of what the show wants to tell. That relationship wouldn’t be fulfilling or funny or fair- not that the characters deserve happy endings or an easy road, but to the journey of accepting and receiving love as part of the theme, seeing the love that matters/already exists ties into the conflicts around immortality/meaning. Haven’t we Good Omens fans learned that a kiss is not always the kiss we want?

For a Nandor in Space perspective, central to the vampire in western culture are themes of love/cruelty, class consciousness, the erotic other, transformation/stagnation/decay, inescapable time, the beast beneath the human face, inescapable temptation/indulgence, and cost/callousness of piety.

That’s some inherently kinky romantic shit right there, that necessitates crossing boundaries and abandoning norms. Even if the journey is actually murder-accessory to get what I want at all costs to this guy’s shampoo makes me realize this is a boundary I will not cross today because it reminds me of my own humanity.

[webcomicreads]

The Issue with "Foefic"

For as long as humans have created things, others have looked at the fruits of their labour and thought, "I can do that better." Drawing inspiration from something you see and think you could improve upon is not wrong, it is how innovation works when it comes to creating tools, art, cooking. However, some people mean it in a malicious way. A way that teeters on jealousy and, if I may, clout-thirsty.

Lore Rekindled is a "retelling" of the (unfortunately) Eisner award winning webcomic Lore Olympus. From what I saw on the post introducing it, it is "better drawn and better written." I, like many, have issue with Lore Olympus. The writing is lacking and absolutely not award-worthy, and it even misses the mark as a cheesy harlequin romance. Persephone's characterization has no consistency. The art, while striking and easily recognizable, leaves a lot to be desired, especially when it comes to backgrounds. I don't consider it noteworthy, but it is heavily pushed by Naver's Webtoon, and that is probably why it keeps winning awards. With how low my opinion of Lore Olympus was, I dived into Lore Rekindled hoping to find something with more substance.

I did not find that substance.

LR suffers in different ways than LO. It assumes that you have read or are at least familiar with the major characters of Lore Olympus, which is understandable. The characters are re-written and interact strangely. Many of the characters in LO are meant to come off as "old money," and this shows in their lifestyles, fashion, and way they speak. The characters in LR all appear to have the same voice. If I were to print out a transcript of this comic and read it out loud, they would all be indistinguishable. LR is "better drawn," but what I think they meant is it is less toony. The backgrounds are better most of the time, but the panelling is boring and lacks the dynamicism seen in the original work. The plot is, if I'm being honest, just AU fanfiction (derogatory).

When I also learned that this creator had an original comic, I was very interested to see what it brought to the table. As I understood it, LR was a side project. So you can imagine my surprise when I looked at both the old and the new Project Reaper and it is just objectively a worse comic. The the majority of the cast has same-face syndrome, and seem to live in a cool-tone hell with no furniture most of the time. The concept of how to dress and style characters seems to be locked into what a 15 year old thinks is badass, but that fits for the story. The plot and dialogue reads like something a middle-schooler would make as an RP scenario with friends. The colouring is lazy dodge and burn, which just emphasizes that the author does not care about cultivating a space or atmosphere or world for these characters to live in. They are just toys to mash together to make your angsty super cool comic that you're going to pitch to Dark Horse for REAL, GUYS. And the first comic for this series is written right to left. In the author's defense, they were a teen when they started the original comic.

So how does someone whose average panel looks like the example above come to the conclusion that they can make a better comic? It's simple: Project Reaper is original, but LR has base material you can go off of. Anyone can read a comic and think "I would do THIS for this panel, and I would do THAT for this character introduction." I did it reading both of these comics. But if I were handed only the script for either of these projects, it would not come as easily. Lore Rekindled only looks "better" because it has Rachel's work to build off of. This goes back to what I was saying at the beginning, that the "I could do that but GOOD" view isn't doing you any favours, especially when you aren't doing your own IP well.

I think writing a little hate piece once in a while is good. Draw a hate piece if you really need to (though I would just show it to friends, personally.) Consuming a little media you hate is also good. As a creator, it is important to see and understand why you hate something, what you would change, and what little glimmers of good are in an otherwise pile of garbage. It helps you grow, to realize your tastes, and what not to do in your own work. Critically acclaimed writer Alan Moore agrees! But to have a whole comic with a regular update schedule redrawing something you hate is... It's giving "look at my sonichu comic redraw!" It is loser behavior.

Plenty of people create media out of spite, and I encourage it. I do it too. But the work should be your own. You need to put this energy into your IP. If you keep being a "hater," you'll never guess what you attract. Other haters! And those haters will like you, for now. But one of these days, someone will go through your list of essays and think, "oh, but I don't see any fat people in YOUR work that aren't plus-size model attractive." All it takes is one comment or take that a similarly-minded reader doesn't like and there could be a master list about you!

I am, of course, not saying you can't make derivative works at all. The doujinshi market is full of fan creations, and every art site you go to will be full of fanart. But the difference between LR and these works (generic sexy flavour of the month artists aside,) is that they are made with love. With passion for the original work. I think back to Homestuck AUs because, while I may not have liked them, these creators were doing it out of love for the characters. I follow a few guys on twitter who have been drawing a picture of their anime wife every day for over 10 years. That's love! Then you have more transformative works like Hello from Halo Head, of which some of it's characters are off-brand animal crossing characters. I love that. I think it's neat that the creator loved that little cat twink enough to bring him into their comic in a new form.

I think the point of this post is that you can use spite as a motivator, but it should be for your own creations. We have a limited time on this planet, and even less time where our hands are still able to pick up a pen. Put this towards your passion for the medium, for the stories in your heart. It's rough out there for creators, and it can be hard to find an audience in the ever-churning seas of the internet. But, please, don't put all your effort into "foefiction." That is cringe. And, if you're going to anyways, it'd better actually be good.

PS B^u

[acorrespondence]

☔ !!

☔ Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Oh there absolute is and I was really hoping I’d get this one, thank you for sending it! The working title for this fic is “Six Places Wynn Duffy Might Be (But Probably Isn’t)” and it’s probably the most insane and cracky fic idea I’ve ever had—kind of inspired by Timothy Olyphant’s character in The Office—but I really really love it. It’s multimedia, and the basic premise is that Rachel sends Raylan a file with six different leads in it, all of them documenting the possible location and assumed identity of Wynn Duffy. Each lead is a crossover with a different other TV show. The first item is a transcript from Troy and Abed in the Morning, discussing whether or not the new security systems professor and women’s tennis coach at Greendale is actually some kind of disgraced/retired crime lord, based on the evidence that he made several strange comments: one a reference to the job not being exactly what he wants but “at least no one’s throwing bullets at me.”

The second is a town meeting transcript from Pawnee, Indiana discussing the presence of a new food truck run out of an RV called Win-a-Bagel, with some citizens concerned that it’s a scam and/or money-laundering scheme, while other residents argue that it’s not worth looking into and possibly jeopardizing their opportunity to win free bagels. The one after that is a transcript from a documentary about a paper company called Dunder Mifflin currently in production in Scranton, Pennsylvania; specifically, interviews with/about a new hire named Larry Mawkins, who according to his own reports was previously a very unpopular motivational speaker/life coach, until one day the lone member of his audience killed himself in the middle of the seminar. One colleague in particular, Dwight Schrute, has become convinced that it’s impossible for anyone to be that much of a general bore and total failure at life unless it was intentional to make people underestimate and dismiss him, leading to the theory that he’s on the run from either the cops or the mob. Their other colleagues weigh in on the realism and likelihood of this theory. However, Larry Mawkins has since disappeared without warning, having stopped showing up to work the day after a new hire named Danny Cordray joined the staff.

The next two were a lot more vague and sketchy and I was having trouble trying to find shows that Duffy-in-disguise would fit into. The one I got the farthest with would have been a newspaper article from Santa Barbara where Shawn Spencer claims that all of the houses in a recent string of “unconnected” robberies were in fact installed by the same man, despite all being from different companies. When police looked into it, they realized that none of the companies had been made aware of these installations. However, all the names used with the clients were fake names, so there was no way to track down the culprit, and the rash of robberies ended, leaving the case cold. After that, I had a couple ideas that I couldn’t figure out how to fit into the structure: either a loan shark or a rival banana stand owner (who possibly also sold drugs) in Arrested Development was one, and Darryl from Crazy Ex Girlfriend’s new boyfriend, whom everyone agrees is sketchy and probably a criminal, was another.

And then, of course, number six: an extreme (and therefore extremely blurry) zoom on the background of an image posted to Instagram, centered on someone who could possibly be Wynn Duffy, actually on a beach somewhere in Fiji—and lying in the sand next to him is a guy who looks suspiciously like Neal Caffrey ;)

(Ask Game here)

[stucky-fic-idea-bank]

K so I had this idea for a fic, and I would love to actually write it but it's so far out of my wheelhouse that I'd do one (or more) of the following: push off writing it forever, spend ages researching, write it but never end up being happy with how it comes out.

But I would love love love to read it if someone else writes it!

So my idea is a modern AU, and both Steve and Bucky are on tiktok.

Steve (stevegrrr) is Skinny!Steve and disabled; he mostly adapts recipes for different dietary needs (often by request) but also sometimes reviews disability aids or shows how different things (baking, but also household, community, hobby, etc. things) could be adapted. He's in New York, baking from his college apartment, and has a successful Patreon where he posts unedited videos, outtakes, and videos of his roommates (Morita, Gabe) guessing which versions of his bakes are the original or the modified recipes and rating them.

Bucky (callmebucky) is broody Post-Azzano!Bucky; he bakes recipes from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s. He's in Indiana, maybe isn't super happy there.

Steve's and Bucky's followers keep saying they should do a collab, and eventually Steve reaches out and invites Bucky to come to New York for that.

Bucky likes NY and Steve, moves to NY.

They don't do any more collabs but Bucky is there off-camera sometimes when Steve is filming, and vice versa. And their followers start noticing clues, like someone thinks they hear Steve talking or laughing in the background of Bucky's video, or Steve wears a sweatshirt he stole from Bucky and someone remembers that Bucky once wore it in a video X weeks ago. Then all their followers become detectives, e.g. "It can't be the same day as the collab because the calendar is turned to the next month." or "Can't be the same because Steve's bruise is a different color." (if Steve is physical fighty and not just words fighty on the internet)

Eventually, Bucky and Steve announce that they are dating (maybe with another baking collab that's too cheesy for Bucky's liking but he'd do anything for Steve and Steve wants to do it, so).

And yeah, that's it.

The biggest reasons why I don't think I could do it justice is because I'm not on tiktok or any other video-based social media platforms so know little about them, and also because I think it would be best told in part via video transcripts and comments on the videos, and [see reason 1].

Thoughts?

^^^^

holy shit this sounds so good. And you’ve already fleshed like 90% of it out!! Fingers crossed someone picks this up because it sounds like a banger of a fic

[missamyrisa2]

Burne's Blues Tickle Scene French Translation~

sooo~ I've always been super obsessed with how tickle scenes in shows and movies might be translated~

if you've never dived into the world of translation and localization, it's absolutely fascinating. The ease of stuff like google translate might give the impression that it's usually a 1:1 word exchange but this is soooo far from the truth. The brute force translations completely gloss over how much interpretation a translator has when working with the text, and then localizing it into something more understandable for the new audience can take the content even further away~

With that in mind~ that alien tickle scene in Burne's Blues. I knowwwwe ~ I go on about it all the time butttt~ I mostly wanted to hear the other versions because I wanted to know how coochie coochie coo would be translated. What I found out when digging up the French version is that it clearly had more dialogue than the original~! In the English version and most others the aliens talk in gibberish, but they're definitely speaking French in this version.

As it turns outttt there is a whole new set of dialogue and I finally have gotten a transcription of it and with the help of a cool friend I translated the lines to English. It's amazing to me that someone decided to write a little story here instead of just having nonsense vocables like every other version.

I'll include the original French because I know some of you know the language~ feel free to tell me how badly I mangled it lol.

Burne: Où est-ce qu'on est, à ton avis ? (Where do you think we are?)

Vernon: Je préfère ne pas le savoir, Patron d'Ong. (I'd rather not know, Boss.)

Alien 1: Ce sont des spécimens très ordinaires. (They are very ordinary specimens)

Alien 2: Oui, mais ça ne fait rien. (Yes, but it doesn't matter.)

Alien 3: Ça suffira largement. (They will be more than enough.)

Alien 1: Tu veux les enregistrer? (Want to keep them?)

Alien 2: Mais oui. (Of course)

Alien 3: Ils n'en valent pas la peine. (They are not worth it.)

Burne: Vous pourriez au moins nous dire qui vous êtes et ce que vous voulez. (You could at least tell us who you are and what you want.)

Vernon: Oh là là, j'ai peur. (Oh dear, I'm scared.)

Burne: Empêchez-moi. Passez-moi. [this one I'm really not sure on, it literally translates to something like stop me and pass me but I'm sure there's something I'm missing, maybe something like pinch me I must be dreaming?]

Vernon: Oh non ! Oh non, non. (Oh no! Oh no no.)

Alien 2: Ça m'étonnerait beaucoup qu'ils aient la même voix qu'Elvis. (I'd be surprised if they have the same voice as Elvis)

Burne: Mais qu'est-ce qu'ils vont nous faire ? (But what are you going to do to us?)

Alien 1: On va vous faire bien rigoler! (We're going to make you laugh!) [the sing-song of the way they say this is such a teasy touch!]

Burne and Vernon: Non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, pas ça, pas ça ! (No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not that, not that!) [the original just has laughs, no begging]

Silly, but so interesting! Based on the line about the voice I think it's the implication they are trying to abduct Elvis, and are disappointed in the quality of the specimens in Vernon and Burne but they still decide to keep them and make them laugh with tickles~! Maybe that's their test to find their target specimen? Anyway the clip is below and I'll shut up about this scene for at least a couple minutes~

[z4yk0t1k]

Transcript Requests for a British horror cartoon I love

I was searching for Grizzly Tales episode transcripts so I could compare them to the books they were based on, but I couldn't find any existing ones to save my life. Barely even a quote anywhere online!

So I'm asking if there's anyone else who loves this show as much as I do (I'm a HUGE fan of Grizzly Tales) who would want to write some transcripts for seasons 1-8 of the show for me, since I get distracted easily and have a tendency to procrastinate a lot due to my laziness.

You must have good ears and also have good knowledge of British English since I'm a Canadian who doesn't have the best grasp of British terminology, to say the least XD

TL;DR: I can't find any transcripts of any Grizzly Tales so I need someone to make them for me because I'm lazy lol

To sum up:

Hit me up on here or Discord if you're interested; my username is z4yk0t1k on both! :) Many thanks!