#and theres stuff no one talked about so I WILL DAMMIT

[randaccidents]

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING: why was i not following you D:

fortunately, I have remedied this situation. worry not. Now use this ask as an opportunity to dump literally anything that's on your mind :3

(grabs this) CASHING IN ON THIS TO RANT ABOUT DESIGN DETAILS

This is me looking through the character refs and pointing at all the little things I apparently did while drawing them because DAMN putting some of these side by side puts things in perspective.

This gonna be a LONG ONE boys, and very much just an analysis of design details. Very skippable read dw.

HEART

okok the one that kickstarted a LOT of my mutuals interest, its Heart!

...I don't have much to say about him asdkjsdf literally what is on the tin. Goes directly from happy little mischievous goober to unconscious, injured, and missing wings. Even the clothes change has an in-universe medical reason, being that they want to keep an eye on the blackened limbs. (and post-Apathy he looks SO SMALL AND FRAIL SOMEHOW oughhh)

The MAIN THING is that pre-ROE is a proper character reference with details and stuff, while post-Apathy is completely stripped of all character that he had. Completely. Its not a character reference, its just a reference.

THE THING I THOUGHT PEOPLE WOULD NOTICE. AND COMMENT ON THOUGH. IS THE NAME TAG I USED FOR HIM

Notice anything different about the name tag? Besides the timeline event?

THE HEART SYMBOL. I changed it from a cutesy drawn emoticon heart to an anatomically correct heart, to represent his change to being only the Physical Beating Heart.

The other thing being that post-Apathy is SIGNIFICANTLY DARKER in colour. There's still purple in it, but its dark and looks a lot less lively than the bright purplish-pink of pre-ROE. (I actually just blended a lot of black in so the purple is still sorta there)

OH and a design detail that I love about Heart's clothes. The EKG heartbeat on his clothes.

A subtle little nod to him being both the Emotional Side and also the Beating Heart.

MIND/PERSEVERANCE

Alright gonna start with again the thing I'm surprised no one commented on. The name tags. Really, there's only one thing here that's important (other than the fact that he changes his name)

Heart's blindfold. It tangles around him and is a reminder of who he is doing everything for. Even in his name the reminder and guilt lingers.

Onto the Mind!

I drew him in an open pose, looking lowkey like how my lecturers do when they're teaching. He's stood straight, dressed cleanly, and has a blazer on. It's hard to tell and I forgot to mention it, but his shirt is tucked in here. Very prim and proper, yet also a little relaxed with his hair down. You could even imagine him scolding Heart here that's what he looks like.

The Axon Dendrites I put on his shoulders are meant to call back to his roles as the Logical Side and the Physical Thinking Mind.

In contrast, Perseverance.

He is TIRED and STRESSED. He has eyebags now, and one hand is holding his temples (I literally hold my head like that when I'm stressed). The stress comes through in how he's undressed compared to his Mind reference. He's not wearing his jacket, and his shirt is untucked now. In the reference I also mentioned that his arms are slowly beginning to rust. Despite the state of undress, he's got his hair up. He's stopped taking care of himself and it is obvious in his stance. The fact that he isn't even looking up anymore, but looking down instead also sells this.

ALSO. Elements of Heart's colours being added to his design. Purple and white.

SOUL/PENITENCE

ough my babygirl. Starting with the name tags again, although this one isn't nearly as symbolic.

Other than a name change, I added a tiny little heart <3. Caring for Heart becomes central to him. (fun fact: initially I had the heart on the tines of the trident, but that just felt too mean) OH and the underline is his trident instead :D

Onto the Soul!

Pre-ROE is just so full of LIFE. He stands openly, his pose is open, you can see all of him. He's covered in color and little personal additions like a starred shirt, dyed clothes, charms, bracelets, and shoelaces. He's happily wearing a skirt. He's got short sleeves and rolled up pants, no fear or need to cover up.

Although... he does have his HMS charms on a chain. Interesting choice, a chain. Almost like he is chained by the dynamic of HMS and the loops-

Anyways, Penitence ref! Again, tws for graphic injury

And he's closed off. Literally, his entire pose is hunching inwards and closed. He's unrolled his pants and is wearing a hoodie that covers his entire arms length. He's closed himself off.

Design elements wise he's wearing Heart's hoodie. It consumes his entire identity. Just the barest hint of his original red colour scheme peeks through at the bottom.

And the chains. There's two now, one around his neck and one at his waist, holding the symbols of HMSW. Soul/Penitence is literally chained by responsibility, both before and after Heartless events begin.

And now for something else about the references that I did which is only obvious is you had them side by side.

Pre-ROE, Heart stands on the left while Mind and Soul stand on the right. Soul is even facing the right side of the screen. It foreshadows in incoming split that happens during Heartless.

Post-Apathy, Perseverance and Penitence continue facing away from each other, despite being on the same side of the screen. This is something I didn't share much yet but it foreshadows a future rift that they will have, as well as the fact that they aren't really improving from who they were pre-roe yet.

Heartless only improves when they ALL change for the better.

[leminhthinking]

"add something, if youd like" ok, here is something i used a throwaway account to comment on the Double MV. i didnt reread so i didnt remember anything about it sorry but there probably is mention about internalized ableism. also personal experience. its kinda shaped like a rant

posting it here now that i came out about being plural here. yeah.

tldr (theres another tldr at the end of it but it was from the time i commented and i want to add something else here) i love representations

I keep finding myself wanting to comment something under this video, but I know I'll say stuffs about myself that I feel would be unsafe to share using my main so I'm using this throwaway account to do it instead 😔

I just want to say that I'm so grateful that Mikoto and John (and maybe other alters in their system too? saying this just in case) were ever written. Being a system who had just discovered that only over a year ago, I can almost see myself, no, I can almost see *us* in every part of their story up until now. And in a way, I feel like I've also... grown with them? If that makes sense?

I have been following MILGRAM for quite a while, enough to be there when MeMe was just released. Back then, I still thought that I was certainly a singlet (didn't have DID), despite how one of my alters - I will refer to her as my sister from now - showed up pretty regularly at the time. That's why when I watched MeMe, I remember thinking to myself, "oh shit, this guy's just like me, and because [insert internalized ableism here] I'm saying he guilty then." But then we all know what's got confirmed 😂 Funniest thing is, a short while before that, I also came to term about being a system. Dammit, to think about it, it felt like a second confirmation 😭😭😭😭

Now that I have accepted who we really are, the release of Double and their second voice drama feels exceptionally special to me, as the host of our system. John and Mikoto's situation right now really reminds me of us last year. My sister and I specifically, respectively. At that time, I tried hard to deny the fact that I am not alone in my head, and that we are entirely separate people. It took me a while (with a few tarot spreads. fuck. I'm a Mikoto kinnie now) to know that we actually are... and some actual, honest conversations to know that she actually loved me, rather than wanting to harm me... Yeah. Yeah. You see what I'm talking about? That's why I'm really rooting for Mikoto and John to have better communication... Ah, maybe if Mikoto watched "his" own second trial MV, he would understand...

That being said, I'm still not sure on what to vote... When I first watched Double and listened to the second voice drama, I thought to myself, ouch, ok, guilty because John clearly seems to be the alter who knows more right now and that would keep him fronting more to interrogate. But after a while, my opinion... changed? I don't want Mikoto to be affected too much from the verdict and maybe going dormant because of that. John maybe still there for the interrogation but fuck, I don't think he's ever been without Mikoto for a long time and I'd hate to see his heart breaks. Maybe innocent is the better solution after all for the whole system, as it might soothe Mikoto's mood and his mindset. I also trust that MILGRAM's writer team know what they are doing and therefore would not "kill off" John. Maybe they will just let him be inactive for a while if they are voted innocent, given that he's finally satisfied with our decision...

(Yes, I do know innocent = forgiven and guilty = not forgiven and I'm deciding while knowing that. I'm just calling them innocent and guilty because I'm more used to it while speaking in English.)

Hmm, that was a longer rant than I expected. I don't know how to conclude really, so I'll say something that would sound entirely unrelated 😔 If I remember correctly, prisoners can hear us audiences right? If that's really true, I just want to scream to Mikoto and John that it's 100% ok to be a system! To not be alone inside your mind! To exist alongside another person in your system and love them! It's ok to just be yourselves! And please please please fucking find a way to communicate with each other!!!

Once again, thank you MILGRAM for letting them exist... I really hold them so dearly in our heart...

TL;DR: local system getting emotional over Mikoto and John, rooting for them to have better communication.

[charismaticalpaca]

(griefposting)

everything's just heavier right now, like theres Stuff, there's always Stuff, but the last week has been a grief wallop

(I remembered how he made mac and cheese for us) (he let it reduce on the stove a little bit to make it thicker)(a little more luxury for his babies)

it's That Time of Year, things are getting colder, days are getting shorter, mom and Sam are talking about thanksgiving plans, two years ago there was a hospital bed in our living room

everything after the first of november is so permeated now. one time mom said something about "well at least it was early enough in December that maybe Christmas won't be tainted forever" dawg he took out thanksgiving AND christmas AND new year's AND his birthday january tenth nineteen hundred and sixty one!!

(he didn't get Halloween because no dammit halloween is mine but i did skip it this year by being out of the country. Whoops and also Boo)

any way every time it hits i want to Scream and since it usually hits in the car maybe I'll just indulge that

[huntersapprentice]

okay so, I think it's so fucking funny but also interesting how veggietales characters are either portrayed as being close to human size or regular vegetables. (or both?!?!?)

putting under a read more because I will go on and on about this and maybe go on tangents

love my funny little produce ^^

so I feel like for someone who's never watched this show (not to mention barely heard of it), it would seem obvious to think these characters are itty bitty. I mean, they go on the countertop, and everything's just normal-sized. Larry even eats some popcorn that looks to be in a human sized bowl (as well as regular sized popcorn) in Dave and the Giant Pickle. Larry's also gotten stuck in the sink once in Rack, Shack, and Benny. The only place where everything around them seems to be made for their size is in the story segments. the Bible retellings, the book adaptations, the movie/show adaptations, the original stories. the content that fills up 80% of the videos are in universe acting, so one could say it's just the set. even for the stories that are kinda implied to be a part of the character's canon, such as Larry's Lagoon and Bob's Vacation, could be set within this little mini world they have, kinda like how the Super Why characters live in this magical world in a bookshelf. not that I imagine much of the fandom even considers it canon, but the netflix series did seem to build on that world for the sentieng vegetables, at least in minor details (more veggie theming I guess) all this seems to keep the idea that they're still just vegetable size. Their interactions with humans are very much just audience interaction throughout the show, whether it's through letters, texting, or video calls. The cancelled Bob and Larry movie even touches on the idea of the vegetables being vegetable size, with a comment from one of the show artists, Joe Spadaford, stating that "Bob and Larry would've lived in his nightstand" (quote from the Lost Media Wiki, paraphrasing Spadaford)('his' being a kid called Dexter, whoever that would've ended up being) however, in what we have of the show now, humans never really come into contact with the veggies, not counting the mascot costume performances or spin offs (Os Amigos, FitnessHoff) because of that, most would assume the vegetables are just talking vegetables. BUT THEN THERES SOME OF THE EXTRA-CONTENT STUFF. I'm gonna start with the one that stuck with me the earliest:

Bob just sitting casually with the creator of the show, but. but. but. he's not the size of a tomato. he's almost as tall as medium sized dog or a baby.

another thing I saw recently:

this picture is from the Veggie Rocks! album, which seems to have also been included with the physical CD copies. Larry's just fucking around in the studio. this human sized looking studio..... now, thinking back to my point about the canon stories earlier: yes, it'd be easy to say those are just sets made for their size, but what's stopping someone from saying that the sets are in accordance to human size? that the countertop is actually the thing modified for size to make the veggies look veggie-sized!? well, at the end of the day, I think it's up to personal preference, and also it's a cartoon for kids so there's not much reason to put so much thought into it. But I like putting thought into it, dammit. In fact, in the process of writing this rambling, I had actually thought of a third idea: what if the veggies can change their size at will for whatever the reason? the veggies, as well as just being able to levitate things, can also change their size. being honest, that wouldn't even be the weirdest thing about them. Oh yeah, and I went through this entire part of the rambling without even mentioning the animals. animals that are either veggie-sized or regular-sized, depending on how you see it.

VEGETABLES THAT TALK AND SING AND DANCE and also seem to really like Monty Python and Gilbert and Sullivan references. also, they're in a Christian educational show. it's already kinda far out there as a show concept. but then there's the other thing: they can eat. through the first episodes, they're mostly shown eating or at least mentioning or using foods such as pizza, popcorn, or slushies. even then, the mentions of food is already kinda sparse. but coming into the 2000s, the use of food is a bit more frequent (I don't know why I'm so hung up on the food thing, honestly, but I feel like there's something about the idea of a digestive system) speaking of anatomy, it has been brought up before in terms of the veggies' anatomy as plants. the Belly Button song is a pop song that goes on about Mr. Lunt and his super deep dark secret that he must admit to y/n: he's got no belly button. of course, he's a decorative gourd. the umbilical equivocal is up there in his head. this plant unique biology is then carried over to one of the VeggieTales on TV end credit bits, where Mr. Lunt informs Bob (who's in the middle of a mild allergic reaction to shellfish) that he would technically "breath through his leaves," and then Bob comments on that being "cool." Aside from that, they do have animal functions too. like using the bathroom (never shown on screen, but off screen reference and mention)

Honestly, that's kinda all I wanted to ramble about, I think the details of these characters are super interesting to think about

also with the external detail that the veggies can't "have a redemptive relationship with God" so they can't go to heaven nor hell nor I guess have souls accordingly

[shackld]

god i have to praise ptn again but i dont think one thing ive talked about is how ptn feels so much more mature compared to most mobile and/or gacha games. not that theres anything wrong with bright and colorful ofc not i love that stuff as much as the next person but i love ptn's grittiness and how dark it feels at times and doesn't try to sugarcoat anything. of course it has its comedic and light moments (looks at the duck fiasco and just. Donald) but it feels earned when it happens and its SUCH A GOOD STORY DAMMIT

[polycharismas]

5, 10, 11, 22, 23 and 28 for the questions?

5- What made you start your blog? One of the friends i had on discord always had these pretty as hell layouts during that time the nitro epic games promotion was around so i asked her where she got the layouts and then directed me here . yara yara stuff happened and now im stuck in this hellhole with all of you . sigh

10- Would you say you're an emotional person? OH MOST DEFINITELY . sometimes i get emotional over stock photos im not even gonna lie . i get emotional over a lot of things and unfortunately life itself has made it its mission making me cry forever and ever so i am never escaping this

11- What do you consider to be romance? Huh. that's a good question. the beatings of my heart. the tears i cry. the way it gets hard to breath sometimes. everything my body does to make it clear someone is special to me in ways not many could replicate. no matter if its painful or not. in many ways pain is also romance to me but thats just because im insane. whatever

22- Say 3 things about someone you love 1. i tear up every time they cross my mind 2. i have already thought too much about them for around . idk . 6 months now . huh. and 3. im still not sure if theres ever going to be anything between us again and that scares the shit out of me

23- Say 3 things about someone you hate 1. sometimes i like to believe they are doing way worse than how im doing right now 2. they are the reason all of my relationships feel hellish and suffocating at times 3. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I REALLY DO TRULY HOPE YOU FINALLY WENT ON WITH YOUR STUPID PLAN OF KILLING YOURSELF THAT YOU LOOOOVED TO TALK ABOUT . STUPID BITCH

28- Do you collect anything? no . i have no hobbies nor special collections nor anything that could ever represent who i am . if anything i kinda collect the thoughts everyone has about me and use them as puzzle pieces to figure out who i am. i wish i collected cool hats though idk

[am-i-sans]

dnd adventures 31

cam returns from eeby deeby and lands on undyne! they apologize for landing on her and fall to the ground. undyne tells them to scram cause she wants to be alone. cam heads back to the shop.

frog is still resting on dans. suzy is still crabby. cam tells us what happaned. frog says they should go have fun. frog goes to a random person and asks if theres anything fun around here.

they dont know they just got here, why is that building destroyed? frog tells them about the zombies lol. shes like 'really? where did they come from?' cam says it was a necromancer. 'well thats a bother.' dans is still zoned out. cam tries to think of what to do.

she calls herself annika crow and walks off ok cool. museum? dinosaurs cool! dans is still zoned in the shoe shop oh no they just left him. the kids are in the dino petting zoo. frog can talk to the dinos! tori also talks to them lol. one if the dinos preens cam.

undyne cools off and now is lost again dammit. she got a crit she finds the dinos! meanwhile dans was wandering the city in a daze. a guy runs up to him. he looks like a normal guy but somethings off. he hands dans something and then leaves. dans checks for anything sus. its a brown package and has a weird staticy magical energy he hasnt felt before.

dans opens it. theres a foldable wooden board and an envelope with no signature. in the envelope is a jack of clubs! with a weird shine.

its dess why?! dans reads a letter inside, their instructions. typewriter? 'unfold the board on a flat surface, put the card face up' dans looks around then finds a spot to put the board down. the card turns black! dess pops up out of nowhere?! 'oh im back here. hi.' dans is fucking flabbergasted. 'did you hop out of the card or something?' 'yeah kinda thats employee storage.' 'does that...hurt? are you conscious?' 'nah the last thing i saw i fell to the ground so i guess i was put away.' 'so no eeby deeby?' '...what?' 'did you get your egg?' 'no. i think? now when i got put in the card.'

dans blinks a bunch then slowly tells dess what they missed. 'thats a lot of stuff. sorry im out of it.' dans says to find the others and get them some food. dess tells him to keep the board and stuff and into the bag it goes. we find the dinos!

undyne looks at the dinos and says cool your here and dinos are here nice. she just needed a moment to cool down. she asks if they let you fight dinos here. cam says she isnt allowed to fight dinos cause she would kill them immediately. 'id only knock them out!' tori offers to be a dino if needed. frog is stoked their mom can be a dino lol. tori says she feels smart when she talks to undyne lol.

attika speaks up and asks how you can be a dinosaur? undyne starts asking if she can turn into various plants and her lol. shes now a 9 ft tall undyne lol. now 11ft sksksk. now she picks up undyne lol. cam says she could pick up undyne oh no. dans and dess walks in as undyne is taking off her armor lol.

'uhhh dess is back did we...miss something?' undyne says whats going on and dans gives cam a sly look. oh no undyne is gonna run at her. tori waves at dans as she shrinks to normal. CAM FUCKING DID IT THEY CAUGHT UNDYNE LETS FUCKING GOOOO!!! they forget cam is a fighter lol. 'its not the size' says dess lol. frog tosses confetti hehehe. tori is mildly shocked. undyne tells cam to yeet her at suzy. 'dont break her undyne' undyne crushes suzy oh no lol. suzy cant even shove her off. she finally gets her off and kicks her.

now undyne asks tori oh no. she sighs and agrees. yes she caught her! annika speaks up and says they should stop cause this is a museum. dans is just smiling fondly at them. oh no. undyne. no. nonono. oh no. 'do you wanna be the reason god says yes?' tori throws her at dans oh god. HE GOT A FUCKING CRIT! hes just like how did this happen? she reaches down and fucking picks him up shes pumped now lol. then she puts her armor back on.

so whats the plan? that artifact right. undyne finally notices dess lol. dans says dess teleported in but we assume its weird eeby deeby shit. dans is fucking attuned to dess's board so shes stuck with him wtf. hes gonna be horrifed when he realizes lol.

annika perks up and asks about the artifact. cam asks if she studies magical items. she says magic in general, recently graduated. undyne shows her and annika asks to come along cause she might know of it. undyne tells her its dangerous and some of us have even died and she cant guarantee her safety. also we have a curse where we get stuck lol. annika says shes been in danger before so its fine. undyne calls dibs on the artifact but says she can come.

time to get on soupnik! annika is surprised to see them and undyne explains its her spiritual summon. tori asks if shes sure she wants to stick with us. shes studying soupnik now lol. frog actually introduces themself and blobbo to annika.

tori asks what field she was in. evocation. hmm. vani crawls forward and curls up against annika. we eventually land cause its dark and they need to rest. dans is making dinner. were in a swamp gross. vani is chasing a frog. not our frog like the animal. tori argues with undyne that no she cant magic the water away. undyne asks dans whats for din-din. dans is still kinda out of it and says its sliders.

frog is playing with blobbo who is now splashing around in the swamp lol. so is suzy lol. annika is reading after failing to help with the fire. dans told the local bugs to fuck off lol. tori for fun casts detect magic. she senses something weird in dans backpack hmmm. but she doesnt bring it up cause he IS a warlock.

suzy calls out to cam and throws a mudball at them! cam screeches and ducks under the log after it hits lol. undyne laughs and chokes a bit. cam yells that their shirt is ruined but dans yells they have magic for that. cam yells about the mental toll. dans tells them to throw back but cam says they dont like to get dirty. 'your already dirty.' 'fuck off.' suzy grabs cam and drags them into the swamp. undyne sighs and goes after them and picks them up.

suzy keeps trying to drag them into the swamp. undyne just picks her up too lol. suzy is just feral i swear. undyne offers to play in the mud if she lets go. now its on! cam goes and clings to dans and he sighs and uses presti. cam says they have something to tell dans. its a jar full of those feathers they pulled off of themselves. they say dans has no hair. cam wanted to braid them into his hair but the beard will do.

cam says its a social thing. if your close to someone you give them a feather. an old legend said the feather let the other person have influence over them. cam is a halfling but growing those feathers was so exciting. why is everyone giving dans influence over them lately lol. its to establish a connection aww they wanna share with everyone. dans gets misty eyed and says he would like that very much. cam combs through it and braids a feather into it.

cam looks at undyne and says she needs presti before getting a feather. undyne is too busy wrestling in the mud to notice lol. time to brain tori! then frog! frog gives cam a cool rock.

undyne finally wins and their both exhausted. dans cleans her off with presti, the most useful skill.

moss had to go so we had to stop.

[makahimetenshi]

How i meet your mother and the story of how Arya Maxson was concieved - Chapter 19

Im better than last time I wrote the last chapter

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and comments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive comments of wanting to know what happens next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

As far he knew only traveling in the train tunel to Pittsburg its a 3 days ride. This was fucking stupid, unnecessary, but know understand why she said he would radio him.

And 10 days later he received a radio message, of course, from Paladin Danse, obviously. He was getting tired of it, tired of Danse around them but it wasn’t the man fault entirely, it was Noras fault for not pushing him off either, of course she didn’t want to push him out.

He was asking him to come over, and of course in the same moment Nora leave he was already packing in case she called…and all his work was worth it because she called, and now he only had his bag with clothes and some supplies for his pregnant woman prepared and ready to leave.

Arthur leave the Citadel like he never did in years in company of five of his best paladins to watch his back. Pittsburg was a dangerous place after all, althought Nora once told him that the entrance and the path from the train tunel to the forge was cleaned and secured for several reasons like the wellbeing of her workers and providers but anyway he didn’t trust, and he feared for her.

There was already people waiting for them to arrive at the train stop, apparently it was an studied circuit that doesn’t have any variation so the speed should be always the same from DC to the Pitt and from the Pitt to DC back again if they didn’t meet any monsters in the way of course, she at least hoped for him to arrive that day, that’s for sure, which implies that at receiving her message he would run behind her heels, and he did god dammit.

-We are responding to the radio message of Paladin Danse -said one of his escorts, today he was not dressed as usual, today, unlike what she always told him, he was more incognito, he was different, like another soldier since it was an unknown territory and it did not seem convenient to go around showing off his person. That way, he was valuable and he knew it. Anyway if he was surrounded by 5 paladins he was obviously someone important. Also she said something about not being sentinel anymore and things should not be so brotherhood centered or something like that

They made them wait at the train station for about an hour until another troupe of brutes came walking towards them, all dressed like raiders, with bared best and spike armors, the only reason the brotherhood squad wasn’t shooting at them it was because they were chill and non aggressive, and because Nora kinda talked about him how the things were at the mill her place, so he learn something and wont be doing stupid to compromise her nono, his classism can wait a bit longer, at least until he was in front of her to reclaim stuff.

One of the raiders stand in front of them with a different port from the other weirdos, different way of standing or holding his rifle, a totally different aura…and when the man dressed in Raider blastmaster armor stranding with port and class took off his Makeshift gas mask every one was hella surprised, another of his escorts talk

-Paladin Danse!? –the escort talk, the man just nodded with a serious and authoritative countenance.

-Theres nothing to fear I assure to you all, its us under the command of Nora

-Why are you dressing like that? –ask another guard, Arthur didn’t want to talk, his paladins can manage the situation just fine.

-Oh once we reach the mill you will understand, a power armor its not exactly a good fit for that place –wait…what was Nora wearing then?

-Is it safe here?

-In the places we have control yes, that’s why we don’t fear to go around with almost no armor –wow seeing him without armor clothing was really a novelty, rare to see- come with us, we already prepared a room for you all to rest

They all walked together to the forge, Danse's small group of raiders and Arthur's escort. He really understood what the paladin told them when they saw that the sky was set on fire and the flames were burning the clouds, coming out of the chimneys like someone using a flamethrower, it was like a giant flamethrower on a large scale. And it was beautiful, scary, imposing, and very impressive. Very very impressive.

Nora bought this, this was hers, she owned hell in earth. She's A Demon, She's A Devil, she is a catch! Feeling the rain of fire almost practically fall on his body from the sky when it burns the clouds makes him worry for Noras well being here.

In this heat, his daughter must be cooking like a roast chicken in an oven in his woman's womb. Gosh they were cooking inside the power armors, he understand Danse a lot now! really a lot! It was unbereable to keep on! He felt trapped inside, like wanting to tear his skin off his muscles, jump out from the power armor, the more they walked the worse those urges grow! He never felt like this with a power armor, what is this feeling!?

-In the name of everyone on this troop we aren’t doing well –said one of the brotherhood soldiers and thank god he said it first, no one should normally talk about another brother but dear god this was difficult!

He did practices and works in field in cold environments, never hot environments, and less this hot. There was adapted power armors suited for alternative temperatures and environments but shit he never encounter something like this before. Nudity was something rare for him to see since the wastelands were so dangerous to go around in skin, a fucking mosquito can suck the blood out of you, a radroach can give you a big bite, a molerat can jump from the ground and try to eat your face, only degenerates like raiders do such stupid things

But damn it was difficult to walk or even exist inside the armor, he felt his lungs fighting to work with more air. Was he out of shape? Does he need more power armor training? In different enviroments at least…

Why was he doing this again?

The other soldiers walked among him and damn they were suffering as much, his correct mind will think in punish Danse for not wearing uniform and stain the name with the brotherhood with those filthy robes but he understand the man so much. Also he remember the day he got into the ventibird with Nora and the initiates.

She is not a butthurt, wont snitch on anybody for not wearing uniform correctly. I guess Danse get passes on that because she was a sentinel before.

What are they now? Coworkers no…friends for sure…he said she is like his sister, family. If he wasn’t anything from her he wouldn’t came to this hell by his own…

-We have already a room cold tempered for you guys, open windows and operating fans, some bulks to rest and spend the night, a fridge, a bathroom with showers and hygiene products, a power armor station and some chests to leave your personal stuff under lock –wow she always organize such accomodations for brotherhood soldiers in everyplace she goes, heard about that once, she call it guest room, odd, guess she take some advices from Danse

The inside of the forge wasn’t like anything he had see before, and it was weird, why he never come to this place to check out? Nora take the forge a few years ago with the brotherhood, it was so strange that nobody asked him to supervise the operation in which the brotherhood and its resources take part of…but the place was almost magical, a show of strength and human effort in so many aspects. The people working with all their strength, the knowleage put into protection and security to protect the workers hard labor and integrity in such a hard and exhausting enviroment, surely Nora ideas from the old world because he hadn’t see nothing like that before, the organization of the ways, walks, supervisors, proctors, indications, signalization, the smells of melting metal, burning charcoal, sparkles of fire and magma flying around in the air as particles…he swallowed saliva and for some reason felt a heavy presion in the chest

The entire process was…mesmerizing to see and take part of, maybe not working because it was exhausting and very physically demanding for what he can see but just being able to move his head around while being scorted was such a luxury.

There was fire in the air, his eyes burned and he needed to close a bit his lids to see better the process in which they recycled metals to burn and melt them inside a very hot furnace inside trays of god knows what type of material, taking the processed product out as melted shiny metal liquid on top of a showel out to move it to some molds, different kinds of molds, different stuff, different uses, some liquids had a different shine or colour and they go to different molds, he supposed some were bullets, another guns, another seems to be by the size armors, like, metal armors, some pieces even for power armors, and some other were very very small, didn’t actually see what they were because there was a red fog in the air clouding his vision.

Danse was scorting him, particulary him, to Noras quarters, how the hell does she lives in this hell? Not live full time but it was kinda enough to stay here for a few days…and the man at his side seem just fine with it, I mean, sweating a lot, out of uniform like he wasn’t used to see him but he doesn’t have a problem to accompany her to hell itself.

If something happened to her, he surely would commit suicide to walk together to hell just like now.

It wasn’t an easy way, of course not, neither perfect, more precarious when you stop being amazed and start seeing things clearly. The floors were broken and sagging with large cracks so the workers although they had very heavy and big boots walk looking to the front and ground, trying to not burn someone to death with melted metal and also watch for their steps to not fall and broke their noses to the ground. Even for Arthur it was kinda difficult to walk with the big power armor feets.

Also there was a huge hole in the ground with bars too, strange.

Once they surpassed the factory they walked to a place Danse called Haven…and of course such a place will be Noras quarters and residence, the only fucking reason she choose the Tenpeny tower over this place surely is the weather around, and maybe the possibility of cancer of course but godamn wasn’t this part of her refined tastes?

There was also something kind of surprising, the old statue of a slave with chains near to fire exits, which he heard of in reports but actually never see in person since he never came to this place now had another sculpture from the same materials and in the same style, the other sculpture was breaking his chains with an axe.

I mean it wasn’t perfect, and it was pretty difficult to see but you can get the general idea knowing the context of the place.

Tho it obviously wasn’t Nora idea of course, this place has much history than only her.

That’s right, he shouldn’t think so high of her, he shouldn’t be that surprised, she isn’t perfect, she isn’t a goddess, she shouldn’t be that big of a deal to him, to not hurt himself, that’s right.

The inside of the building was nice, nicer than most buildings but its not like they were teleporting outside of the wastelands some collapse here and there, some stairs in poor condition, a hole in the ceiling, fallen plaster, lots of debris... typical, the only really really dangerous thing was a column supported by scaffolding but meh normal, of course it compromises the structure and integrity of the building but nothing he hadn’t see before.

Danse abruptly stop in front of a door, a door that was guarded by two people who may seem like your typical raiders for how they were dressing but their gazes were more soft, chill, relaxed, surely now they were living the vida loca not fighting everyday to have 3 meals, away from the trog menace, which lower risks of getting sick now, with a roof over their heads to sleep almost comfortable every night...surviving but for good surely, wasn’t that bad.

His paladin open the door a bit with the handle and Arthur understood, he get in front of the opening and quickly get inside as the other man open and shut the door behind him.

There was a breeze running in that room, as every window was open wide but quickly his eyes find what he was looking for.

Well wasn’t this a hot view? More than hot, almost umbereable, damn now he wanted to take the power armor appart from his body!

Nora was laying on a sofa looking at him dressed in a Country girl outfit, her big belly exposed and surely breathing even if he can swear her white skin will be burning under his hand if he posed.

-Welcome –she said with a muffled voice.

A sharp pain hit the back of his mind, he crossed his eyebrows worried as instincly coming out from his power armor, like there was no danger around, around her he should be fine, his body needed to feel safe to take out the damn armor that was right now a furnace

-Its something wrong? –he ask coming out and getting comfortable, oh my god that was necessary, its like a big cloud of hot air sluddenly leave his entire body.

-Im just down from the temperature, that’s all –she said as he take off desesperatly even his black suit goddamnit-I have some clothes for you, I was waiting.

-Not dressing like raider scum even inside here –he said firmly.

-Okay –she mumble smiling- I also have some shorts and shirt…

-Right now short is enough –he heard her laugh in the distance.

Once he was dressed with the clothes she leave in top of the table the first thing he did was place a hand on top of her forehead, checking while she was laying.

-You can also bathe but im afraid we don’t have hot water here…-she said with a defying smile, Arthur pick up her cheeks with a hand and moved her face around playing, laughing.

-Alright, give me five –Arthur sat on the ground next to the couch to not bother, and also, the ceramic was a bit more fresh than the leather couch- Are you alright?

She nodded- Its not easy on this body, but im at least taking care of what I needed, people I needed to see personally to make them understand shit

-You don’t intimidate me with that big thing –he said laughing.

-Not me, but maybe my guards

-Oh yeah the big bulk guy with the scar in the eye, you know the one with the three sunburns dots…-Nora look at him for a moment and then laugh- big arms and pects.

-I don’t think so, the fact that he is so hairy makes him look like a teddy bear

He imagined Danse as a teddy bear, yeah, maybe, he can see it.

-Why did you call me here? I received his message but not yours, didn’t say much

And frankly, he couldn’t help much if she had some pain or infirmity, that’s the simple true, sure, he can be at her side but it wasn’t actually urgent for him to be here.

-What? Its it really that bad here? –the man stood in silence, so she understand the hint- i…i…-she swallowed, it wasn’t something actually easy to say, less to rationalize, it was stupid and it will sound stupid, selfish, a waste of resources because she had cravings-I wanted to see you

The man raised an eyebrow and look at her, a mean comment resonated in his mind like an impulse, a flashback from so not long ago- really?

That felt like a kick in the lower stomach for Nora-also Arya started moving when I ask for that message so…-instinctively like nothing else matters his hand moved to her belly, it was nonsense but he hoped to felt something, her hot palm posed on top of his carefully moving it around

-Right now was specially quiet because im not active but…-it just felt right for her just guiding his hand around, he had the right tho, he was the dad of their daughter, and he really seemed to want to stay around-hold on-gosh the look on his eyes, he was so focused on her belly, he has love puppy eyes-I felt something

It surprised Arthur even if she announced it, he felt a pressure on his palm, coming from her skin, a buldge hitting there, Nora see the change on his eyes and leave his hand alone to move around so it wasn’t a trick or she wasn’t modifying anything, he can live the experience his own and damn this was the second time she experienced it with a man at her side, it was magical everysingle time doesn’t matter it it was the old world or now. Sure it take her by surprise when she was alone a few days ago but she knew the first thing she had to do was contact Arthur, it was a promise and it felt wrong to not have the man at his side

-It is her? –she nodded.

-Of course silly- who else who it be?- I didn’t just swallow a molerat!

A second hand place around as the other moved, looking for more kicks-it gets more strong like this?

-I didn’t want to touch it much–she responded and the man look at her confused- it’s a thing we should do together

That was odd-Well –he cought a bit getting closer, placing his cheek on a side of her belly, still touching-you should wait on the citadel with me until she started to kick, to have our first time together-Nora laughed, what about first times? Her cheeks blushed, they weren’t on that level…or did they? Did he want to be on that level? Maybe…but what about her? Did she want?-It turned worse than this? –he knew it could be kinda painful more than just surprising, gosh he lost his breath and cant get it back even now, the feeling on his palm robbed something out of him, didn’t know if it was his reason or his heart.

-Sometimes, not much tho, she still needs to grow much more

There was a fog in the mans brain, like he cant focus his thoughts, his hand moved by its own searching for the next kick all around Noras belly, never actually see it that big until now. All his life he knew this moment will occur, he had this visions or images of the life around his heir but there she was now in reality, the real Maxson heir, Arya, underneath his hand, and he didn’t knew if he ever felt so much emotion for something that was kinda like a promise, Nora make him a promise to give him a child, that child wasn’t on his hands…until now…and damn he was so emotional about it.

Another kick in his hand make him jump a bit, scaring Nora in the process.

-Its so hot in here but it was worth the trip –he said smiling at her, he seemed at peace, eased, and Nora liked to cause that even if it was a primitive feeling because he was her partner and kinda have this connection because of their daughter right now, she wasn’t razionaliting things well, but the feelings were nice, a nice change of all the rush you can feel in the wastelands

-Im happy you are here- and he came as fast as it was possible by the time she ask for the message also. Arthur raised a bit his head and look into her eyes, that was odd from her part.

In some moments he wanted to believe, to enjoy this moments without thinking much, to actually felt loved back but no. This was her pregnant brain talking, the hormones, this wasn’t her. She loved Danse. And himself as a man of reason, he thinks enough and understand that she will forever love the paladin, what ever comes from her mouth is meaningless, he shouldn’t take her feelings seriously.

No matter how charming she is, or how much he wish a woman like her to actually love him back, she will not be the one. He was getting used to the idea of also reject her feelings, for his own sake, to not hurt his heart with dumb illusions she cant keep up because the paladin crave deep into her heart without wanting it.

He will rationalize this, be smart, not trust and don’t let himself get carried in feelings that will only crush his heart apart.

Nora will be the mother of his childrens, that’s all, as she will always love Danse.

It will be hard to carry on as they had a very good relationship and he actually wished a woman like her…but not her, he learned enough about it, after all the paladin is around them even in this hell The Pitt is.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Jade Harley

Act 5, page 3415-3419

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

EB: hey jade, are you there? i have a computer now.

EB: this boring guy keeps blinking at me though, and it's weird.

GG: john!!! :D

GG: wow, finally!

EB: hi!

EB: sorry i disappeared after you entered the game...

EB: but from what i have seen in the clouds, it doesn't look like you have had much trouble making progress!

GG: nope!

GG: dave was able to set up as my server player

GG: he is building up my house right now so that we can deploy some equipment up there

EB: oh, nice!

EB: dave is serving ALL the ladies, isn't he?

GG: yep!

EB: he is like a dude on butler island.

EB: i mean, a dude who happens to be one of the butlers...

EB: doing a lot of serving, to various ladies who are vacationing at this snooty resort.

EB: wait, i am fucking this up.

GG: :o

GG: thats ok, i wont tell him about it

EB: ok, good.

EB: all i am saying is, why can't i have a dave butler too?

GG: well, maybe you can.....

GG: i will try to put in a good word for you B)

EB: thank you.

EB: what is the equipment you're deploying?

GG: im not sure!

GG: something to do with cloning i guess? it serves some purpose in my quest as witch of space

GG: a nice troll named kanaya has been advising me on stuff about that

GG: have you talked to her?

EB: hmm... i don't think so. not recently anyway.

GG: you should!

GG: a bunch of trolls are not nearly as bad as i thought

GG: even karkat! he has been helping me too... sort of, hehe

EB: he has? but i thought he "hated" you!

GG: oh yeah, he said plenty of stuff like that, but i dont think he ever actually meant it

GG: flying off the handle is part is of his charm in a funny way, once you know that about him

EB: yes, this is what i have concluded about him as well.

EB: he is a pretty great guy. i am really looking forward to more of his outbursts, especially his first conversation with me, which i am to understand will be legendary.

EB: but we shouldn't tell him we said any of this, or he will be "furious"!

GG: heheheh

GG: shhhhhhhhh

EB: so what else have you been up to?

EB: we should try to catch up as much as possible!

GG: yeah!

GG: hmm what else... theres been so much going on, its been a little hard to keep track of it all!

GG: why dont you tell me what youve been up to first?

EB: oh man.

EB: you will never guess what i am doing right now.

EB: go ahead, try to guess, you will not succeed.

GG: ..............

GG: whoa :O

GG: john where did you get that nice flying car??????

EB: oh god dammit!

EB: how do you know!

EB: do you have rose's crystal ball?

GG: sort of!

GG: she gave me the code, and i made a cool pair of goggles with it

EB: argh, i am surrounded by real life witches!

EB: everyone i know is turning magic, it's ridiculous.

EB: including me! i'm magic now.

GG: it certainly seems so! what with your fancy magic car

GG: and your chauffeur familiar, i guess?

EB: no, he is neither a chauffeur, nor a familiar...

EB: he is just a new friend!

EB: also, this is not a magic car, it is an ordinary car.

EB: i found it in my dad's wallet.

GG: you did???

EB: yes, i just found his wallet on the ground.

EB: but my dad was nowhere to be found. :(

GG: :(

EB: the clouds led me to the wallet though, so maybe they will keep leading me to him?

GG: hmmmmm...

GG: maybe, but hang on let me try something

EB: ok.

EB: i have seen lots of interesting things in the clouds...

EB: i guess you used to see things like that all the time, right?

GG: yes!

GG: what have you seen?

EB: wow, uh...

EB: well, lots of things that were mysterious and didn't make much sense...

EB: but also lots of things i recognized.

EB: like stuff i have done before. and also stuff i will do in the future.

EB: and things that rose and dave have been up to...

EB: and you too!

GG: :O

GG: like what, what did you seeeee?

EB: well, i saw you on your island, and saw you sleeping in a floating bed, and...

EB: i saw your pretty snow planet...

EB: and i saw you with some frogs...

EB: have you found any frogs yet?

GG: frogs?

GG: no...

EB: well, i saw you once in a neat outfit...

EB: it was kind of like you were torn from the pages of my favorite japanese mangas.

EB: and the snow was melting.

EB: and you were surrounded by frogs for some reason!

EB: heh, now it sounds like i am describing a weird dream i had about you.

GG: sure does!

EB: which i guess is sorta true?? anyway, i guess that must not have happened yet.

GG: nope! but that sounds pretty interesting

GG: i wonder why i would be surrounded by frogs?

EB: dunno! but you are a witch, remember.

EB: witches LOVE frogs.

GG: hahaha thats true!

GG: i hope i am not planning on putting them in a cauldron or anything o_o

EB: i doubt it, it looked to me like a friendly gathering.

GG: whew!

EB: oh, and one time i saw a green version of you with pointy ears, and you were crying!

EB: did that happen yet?

GG: bluh. yes :|

GG: i prototyped my dead dream self and tried to get her to fight jack

GG: but it turned out to be a BIG MISTAKE

GG: god i cant believe how dumb that idea was, she was an emotional wreck

EB: oh no!

EB: what happened? where is she now?

GG: oh, she went off to cry somewhere else... good riddance!

EB: wow jade, you really have been up to a lot!

GG: hehe i guess so

EB: and i have just been staring at these dumb clouds for hours or whatever.

EB: i even saw my own dead body in a cloud!

GG: what!!!!!

GG: oh noooo

EB: it's ok though, it already happened.

EB: i was sort of tricked into sleeping on my quest bed.

EB: and when i went to sleep, jack killed me.

EB: she must have known that would happen...

GG: who?

EB: vriska. do you know her?

GG: i dont think so!

EB: she is pretty cool, but just between you and me, she might be a little crazy!

GG: well if she tricked you into getting killed, then i would have to agree

EB: but, i don't think it's really like that...

EB: honestly i think dying was a necessary part of the process, and she just didn't tell me so i wouldn't get scared.

GG: what process?

GG: and how are you alive now if you died! john im a little confused

EB: well... i died on the quest bed and woke up here, as my dream self.

EB: and now i have all these sweet wind powers.

EB: which is how i am making this car fly!

GG: ohhhhhh!

GG: that makes sense

GG: dave had mentioned you reached the god tier

EB: yeah!

GG: but he did not say what it involved D:

GG: he probably didnt want to make me worried

EB: maybe, or he was just being some sort of aloof coolkid.

GG: or that!

GG: but he also said that no one else would do it but you...

GG: actually, now it makes sense that i wouldnt be able to, since my dream self is dead

GG: its too bad really

EB: yeah...

GG: i wonder what space powers would be like??

EB: hmm, i have no idea!

GG: oh well

EB: maybe you shouldn't rule it out though?

EB: i mean, you did mention your dream self isn't COMPLETELY dead, remember?

GG: !!!

GG: youre right...

GG: i suddenly dont know if i want to become a god tier anymore :(

EB: heheh.

EB: she was that bad, huh?

GG: DX

GG: i dont even want to talk about her! she is sad and cowardly.

EB: ok, i will not pry.

GG: why dont you tell me about your new friend?

GG: he sure seems to be enjoying that horn!

EB: i know, right?

EB: /rolls eyes

EB: he is just this silly guy i met when i woke up here.

EB: he seemed to be curious about me and followed me around for a while.

EB: also, i noticed he was wearing my bedsheet.

GG: haha! what is he doing with that!

EB: i don't know, there seems to be this whole cult full of people who worship my ghost sheets.

EB: i ran into a bunch of them in a salamander village, they are all completely ridiculous.

EB: so i guess he is a member of the cult?

GG: probably!

GG: you are just going to have to deal with the fact that you are becoming a famous hero john, and people everywhere will idolize you

EB: derp! they aren't idolizing ME, it's my dumb bedsheets they love!

EB: it's so stupid.

EB: OH!

EB: also, another thing about him...

EB: he has the queen's ring!

GG: :o

GG: thats great! john you have to get that ring from him!

EB: i've tried! i asked him politely for it and everything.

EB: but he is very protective of it!

GG: hmmmmmmmmmm

GG: that is a problem!

EB: actually, i think it's ok.

EB: i think he is supposed to keep it.

GG: you do?

EB: yes. once i saw something in the clouds.

EB: it was hard to tell what was going on, but i saw him!

EB: im pretty sure it was the future, and he had the ring, and...

GG: and what?

EB: and then the cloud stopped showing me.

EB: but i am pretty sure that some day...

EB: he will have to wear it!

GG: 8O

EB: so i think i will just let him keep it.

EB: for some reason, i trust him.

GG: ok john.....

GG: i trust you

GG: so i will trust in your trust in him

EB: yeah, trust all around!

GG: im going to be a supportive piece of shit all day and fall down all this trust!

EB: how trustworthy do you even have to BE to CONFIDE in someone like that.

GG: lol

EB: anyway, i guess that's enough of that nonsense.

EB: i should keep looking for my dad!

EB: maybe if i fly around in this car with this guy beeping here, the noise will get his attention and he will find me.

GG: john, i already found your dad!

EB: you did?

GG: yes i found him with my goggles almost right away!

GG: but i didnt want to interrupt you

EB: oh! well that sure is convenient!

EB: where is he?

GG: he is with roses mom

GG: they are in a castle, having some sort of tea party together

GG: they appear to be enjoying each others company!

GG: its quite adorable actually

EB: oh wow...

EB: jade, what if they get married or something???

EB: oh god, if rose became my sister too, that would wreak HAVOC on karkat's shipping diagram!

EB: as leader of this team i submit that we cannot afford to let this happen!!!!!!!!!!

EB: everyone man your battle stations!!!

GG: RED ALERT!!!!!!

EB: we have a ship to sink! arm torpedoes!!!!!!

GG: AWOOOOOOOOOOOGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EB: KA-PCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. target destroyed. B)

EB: heheh, i am just joking around, of course.

GG: durrrr oh really john :p

EB: :P

GG: but really, they make a nice couple and i think it would be great if they got married!

EB: yes, i agree.

EB: even if it would make it awkward for me to marry rose.

GG: i guess so

EB: but maybe that doesn't matter? these are kind of special circumstances.

GG: yes they are pretty special

EB: i wonder if my dad and her mom would mind us getting married...

GG: i dunno

GG: who are they to stand between two youngsters in love?

EB: whoa, in love???

GG: yes john, two people must be in love in order to get married

GG: it is one of the rules!

EB: oh jeez, yeah i guess you're right.

GG: so what do you say john, are you in love with rose?

EB: um...

GG: and if not, are you prepared to fall in love with her?

EB: er.

GG: wellllll? :D

EB: argh!

EB: this line of questioning is making me flustered.

EB: all i know is, i was ordered by karkat to marry rose.

EB: i think we can both agree that it would be reckless to look at a crappy shipping diagram made by an alien, and ignore its message altogether.

GG: i didnt even know karkat made a shipping diagram...

EB: it's a thing of beauty, and it will save the human race.

GG: i will have to make him show me

EB: yes.

EB: btw, you will marry dave.

EB: 100% TRUE REALITY.

GG: <_<;

EB: it's ok though, i will not press you on your feelings for him.

EB: i already know you are totally into the strider anyway.

GG: whaaat...

EB: it's all in the diagram, jade.

EB: it's all in the diagram.

GG: i dont know about that!

GG: i clearly need to take a good hard look at this prophetic document

GG: and possibly tell karkat what an idiot he is!

EB: that you do.

EB: ok but anyway, who cares about his terrible shitty drawings and meddlesome romantic schemes!

EB: how do i find my dad!

GG: uh

GG: well, i dont actually know where he is relative to you!

GG: so i dont know if i can give you directions

EB: bluh!!!

GG: there might be some way to do that...

GG: these goggles are actually REALLY COMPLICATED!

GG: i will look into it and get back to you

GG: in the meantime, why dont you fly around and keep looking?

GG: at least now you know to look for a castle

GG: and maybe the clouds will give you some more tips!

EB: yes, that's a good idea, i'll do that.

EB: thanks for the help, jade!

GG: sure! <3

EB: i will talk to you later.

GG: later!

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

[effyoudumbler]

Notes written when I was insane 1

I name things I like, after things I wish to understand

That’s the crux of me, isnt it. All that I like, is that which I have Desire to understand, and yet, simply Cannot. If I could, I would, and so, I wouldn’t have any reason to like that thing anymore. Tragic.

In order to every enjoy things, I have to severely limit my acuity. That, or, I have to be paying attention to just one part about it I dont understand

Oh

Yeah

“

“

I was hunting those animals

And played my misery

But then

It turned out to be birds

Building a nest for a family

…

That is surreallity.

Why was he hunting them

Who is he

Why is he there

The only clue is his appearance

A nobody really

And

The music he played

And how he stopped and seemed

Longing, and sorrowful

Very subtle

Looked forlorn, incomplete

Staring, with a mild, sad turn of his lips

Once he realized theres no animal

Birds

Building a nest

And so he leaves

Why was I shown this

Why is this something that the man remembers

Its obviously about longing for a family

But

Its so

Dreamlike, of an interpretation

It seemed like nothing happened

And yet

In his eyes, this was very, deeply important

Yes, in his eyes….

The sad man, and the nesting roost of birds in his properties woods

So close

So far

Unobtainable

In pain

Hurt

Humans were built to worship

Poor man

When a man dies, his treasures die with him

Such is fate

All of this dream, is but a song

That takes me somewhere else

So that I can endure the wild real life

All of my endeavors

Are but love

A mechanical inclination of hunger

Desiring to… how to put it…

Be greater than even the pulse of Time itself

To be immortal

But also

Something more

To be pure again

To be pure, again

I am obsessive because I am scared

Im scared because my autism produces extra stress, and on top of that, makes stress deplenish very slowly

Im stronger than i realize

If i can be up 32 hours no sweat

Coffee sure is something

What was that garbage mother handed me long ago

It hardly worked at all

This shits the real stuff

Like

Wow

Id have DOUBLE the time to do anything

Any

Thing

Woahhhhhhhhh

All of the things

Double double double double

I give up

And the reason is

I mask around others

So hard

Ive lost my way

And Im stubborn to a fault

Dammit

So thats how i die

I see it so clear now

I will die due to my action of stubborness

If not random chance

Refusing to admit there is a problem

Well

More so

Im so lonely

Short term gains

I cant live without it, I say

I say

I say

Whenever have I proved

Witgout confidence

There is no future

I cannot keep masking

But

I dont want to be weak

Vulnerable

Why

Youre obsessed with that

Without confidence

There is no future

I just

Without money

I feel no confidence

Forced to talk

To leave

I feel no confidence

I cant trust my family

I dont want to be weak

I also have a burning curiosity

When i was younger i wouldnt have minded being weak

But not anymore

Weakness gets you worse than death

Loneliness

…

How can i do work when im starving

How cqn i eat when i have to cook

How can i cook if i have to clean

How can i clean when people wont help

When everything is so ugly

Then i have to shower

And defecate

Tsk

You are a person who must fold to Anxiety

Think of this

Once anxiety hits you

You should do everything you can

To obliterate it

“But then ill get new anxieties”

So what

So what

They were always there anyway

Whether or not you tried now or later

You must tackle anxieties

The moment they appear in your head

You are where your treasure is

If my wife worked at like

Some shitty job hauling plutonium

Damn sure I’d go there with her

Just to be in the surrounding vicinities of her

Its what I feel must be done

I want a wife who wants a helicopter husband

Cringe

Sigh

[isaacathom]

ds9 time, s2e16, e17, and e18

now i did watch e16 like a few weeks ago but for completeness, ill summarise my vibe - i liked it! i spent most of it trying to figure out what was connecting the various plots together, since there was little explicit overlap aside from kira's tying in to odo not being on the station. ended up concluding that it was about love - love for family, love for work, love for, yknow, Love, shit like that. jake loves his dad and is worried what he'll think, obrien loves his job in such a way that he disappointed his own family over his decisions, kira and bareil are in love. the old guy loves the home he left behind and the hologram home he has created, even if he wont admit it to himself. and odo comes to love the little girl who is simply very kind to him, and advocates for her right to grow up and continue to love as she has done.

that said that may not have been the vibe but i was like desperate to id a connective tissue between the subplots. also bareil is an icon, literally foiling a criminal plot by not being to shut his mouth while Kira fucking Nerys is making out with him. a legend.

also i decided i like dax now because her main character has just been loving gossip, and thats just a delight. she enjoys games and fun and knowing Everything, and she loves to share in that. fully the definition of loving life. and thats really nice.

anyway e17 time. conveniently, a dax episode. now my issue is gonna be that my boy arjin is a mess and thats gonna be cringe.

i like the vole puppet.

oh i love when dax talks about. yknow. dax! what it feels like to be dax, what that means. its great.

i love how sisko and dax interact. i just love their dynamic. its so familiar and distincti

uhoh seaweeds loose the vole done fucked with the seaweed.

waaah i thought i had a rapport with the lady whose job it is to evaluate my readiness for a massive life change, turns out thats not how this works dunce.

now im not actually fully clear what the criteria is here.

arjins facial expressions during this scene with quark were peak. like just exceptional stuff.

i hate to say it but in this situation i would be kira i think, like, i would probably be kira here. dont know if thats a good thing.

now see im a little confused, because i thought this was an episode about the trill and now theres a proto universe. and so my q is when arjin becomes important again.

oh there he is. oh i love that. dax is great.

ohoooh pilot time.

and there we go. neato.

well. firm Okay on that one. it was fine.

alright. e18. lets go

BASHIR AND GARAK YEEEAAH BABY *longest yeah boi* love my boys

'you wouldnt last 5 seconds on cardassia?' 'would you' '... :) fishing again doctor' oh i love them

i gotta say i adore natima's dress.

odos utter fucking bafflement at what quark is doing, just, pure chefs kiss. utter delight.

oh i love the faintly sinister music when garak walks past. i love him.

"i dont believe youve ever been to my establishment before" "and you dont usually frequent mine" quark he goes there semi-regularly to have lunch dates with boyfriend be for real.

OHHH GARAK AND QUARK yeeeeeeh oh that rules. oh i love these two. oh this is great.

like just. mwaaah. this is great.

oh hell yeah. garak time.

oh quark you doofus. god dammit. im fascinated to see how odo reacts to this because god knows hes like, the chair the guys sitting on yknow.

lmao. got his ass. fucking demolished.

oh nevermind

okay bets, is the cloaking device odo

oh nevermind but odo did show up, i love that

oh boy

okay so he IS an exile and there is a situation.

quark trying to beg odo just. oaaaaah its great. and the cut where odo assumes for a second hes run, or hes cloaked, when hes really on his knees, MY GOD.

OH GARAK NO.

OHHHHHH BABY.

YES

devastating.

that fucking owned. exceptional. i adored it.

[incurablyromanticsblog]

Ok I'll liveblog

EPISODE 9: THE FAMILY BUSINESS

SPOILERS BELOW!!

The yellow color filter, very nostalgic and hitting me like a goddamn brick after the blue one

Aw fuck not clowns

They really just gave michael a pastel shirt and said do your thing and nothing else

He looks his age not 10-20 years before

But then again there was the wig in the og series

DANIEL LICHT'S THEMESSS

He's wearing the henley my dudes

HES TELLING IT TO HARRISON???

The Aspect Ratio Change!!!

Harrison finished dexters sentences!!

"why are we like this" brb crying

"you too?"

Aw fuck man this is emotional

"Instead he gave me the code" jury's still out on harry won't lie

Look into the cameraaaaa

Debs reaction to 'i would never hurt family'

Why the clown look like joaquin one phoenix he a good dude

The clown saying what the fuck is funny

RED NOSED DEXTER

THE BLOOD THEME

He's gonna say kill He's gonna say kill He's gonna say kill

'I confront them' oh god oh god

I love the taking to the camera thing

'You tell harrison you kill people there's no going back' NO THERES NOT

He didn't tell?, HE DIDNT TELL????

'you're like batman' 'i prefer the dark defender'

The love in dexter's eyes I'm gonna die

HES GETTING ELRICS BODY THANK GOD IVE BEEN SO WORRIEd

Dexter's so happy I'm laughing

He's scared to kill say trinity or arthur

'at least elric's frozen, no bloody mess' BRIAN CALLBACK BUT I STILL WANT MY NAME DROP OR HALLUCINATION

Oh COME ON not angela comparing the needle marks. Look I get the suspicion I do, but like whats with the supercop stuff. She's comparing the two needle punctures, like for us it's obviously- you know what I'm not talking about this

Dexter what did you get him

Please don't be a gun

Scarf and A HENLEY????

That looks like a rifle

It's a rifle, the one he has while he ran with the deer

Redneck energy won't lie

'guns are loud messy'

'all the guys at school have guns' oh my god what is wrong america

Aww son and father bonding over guns (👀👀👀👀)

Please no

This is alternative to the kurt scene no?

Yea just drop the kurt being a killer bomb

Vigilante shit

"ask me what the plan is" dammit dexter get your head in the game

HARRISON GAVE HIM A DRAWING OF DEBRA

Oh my god

Michael c hall is so good please

Tradition I've been doing???

Why did harrison make that face

ITS AN UGLY SWEATERRRR

Aww both angela and dex lying to each other a dexter tradition for sure

In front of your parents?????

Dex gave her a POLICE HANDBOOK THAT'S INSULTING

KURT????

Oh fuck

Oh my god, the implications

SERIAL KILLER OFF

Not the GUN SIGN

IN FRONT OF HER MOM??

The example being wiggles is so funny cause they keep saying wiggles in a serious tone

She went to the vet didn't she

Oh fuck not the ketamine

The drone???

Harrison looks sad

He's confessing about ethan

Dexter is smiling???about ethan??

Fantasies about Hunting down the trinity killer

Oh fuck, dexter don't-

Dexter doing the right thing is so weird

How is the drone working so well in snowfall

First rule don't get caught

Ok angela is listening to the BHB podcast

She didn't say love ya back that's so funny

Ok kurt cleaning his guns with the song

The song is a banger won't lie

"I wanna help him"

"There were alternatives" get his ass

I WANNA HELP HIM?!?

Whose side are you on??

Dexter sounds like he's convincing himself

'And you fucking love it' GET HIS ASSS

Audrey scaring angela please

Oh fuck molly's on voicemail

She dead

Kurts gasing dexter's cabin???

Merry Christmas jimbo this is so funny

Oh shit

HES LIGHTING IT

Kurt is going to die this episode I know it

What's is up with the gun? They'll find the gunshot wound and they'll know it was murder

Buggy in the snow leaves tracks you idiots

Both killers trying to kill each other irony at it's peak

Father teaches son to break locks bonding moments!!!

Dex triggered the alarm

God when Kurt breathes heavily I think of mr krabs

Ohh the container is underground

Embalming items ok

Oh fuck

Dollboxes DOLLBOXES

Trophies are the bodies obviously

This shit terrifying

He's out make up on all of them and dressed them in virginal white dresses

MOLLY DEAD

You killed wiggles didn't you

Please dont

I did

I took care of arthur mitchell too+_+

Catch me crying and angry

FOREHEAD KISS

Ok so angela is onto molly disappearing

Kurts back

He's running

Ok I think kurt is gonna kill angela tbh

Oh god

THEY GOT KURT

Angela is gonna catch them in the act??

Harrison is taking too well to this tbh

Dexter had the code developed through years

'How many times have you done this' 'in the 100s'

'youve saved 1000s of people?' oh god

It's as if they're euthanizing an animal

'Hey you got me'

'no, I saved them!'

'i told you no dad shit!' I'm laughing so much

Ok dexter and harrison pale in comparison to kurt

Dexter's smile he's so happy

'This wasn't about saving them this was about power'

'you deserve to die'

He's making dex jealous of the time I spent with harrison

Oh shit

'Some kinda bullshit justice code?'

'Like father like son' and focus shifting to harrison

Crying and throwing up

'you don't have to watch' gotta love a consensual king

He's cutting up kurt in front of harrison

And harrison is into it???

Is he???

They're not making it clear???

Harrison is going to have a panic attack

He's having a flasback

Oh god

Harrison isn't as fucked up oh my god

OR IS HE??

blood moon

Dexter pulled out the heftys ok

Dexter's goin too fast for harrison

Burning the bodies

Too soon dex

'thats how it works' but It doesn't have to

Ok so but it doesn't seem like dexter and harrison will get caught

Poor angela, hope she lives

The 'yep' in unison

Poor angela

Breakfast wizard

'Jim lindsay killed matt cladwell'

And the screws

Ok so...

Angela girl what you gon do?

End credits

Gonna wait for the preview for the finale too

DEXTER IS ARRESTED

VOICEOVER OF HIM SAYING YOU'LL SEE WHAT EVIL LOOKS LIKE

Ok so theory for ep 9:

Harrison will feel the dark urge but he'll understand that it's not right

Dexter will get caught (not killed)

The cycle will end it cannot continue the writers cannot do that they really cannot.

Clyde Philips has always been against it

either Harrison will turn dexter in and dexter will betrayed and fully lose it

Or harrison will die and dexter will fully lose it

Dexter dying and harrison either losing it or going on with the code is too much a 'plot decision'

Or a classic murder-suicide but most likely from harrison

[clownmoontoon]

viv did apologize for the stuff she did in the past, but her show still has plenty of mistakes. the only gay character is shown as a sex and drug addict, and violent person, and he’s also drawn to look transphobic. the only latina character in the show is shown as stereotypically angry and snappy, and she’s also “protective over the white girl” ( AND she’s a lesbian with a name similar to “vagina”). there’s also “i don’t touch the gays” viv apologized for the past but she continues to be awful.

OKI I TOUCHED ON SOME OF THESE IN OTHER ASKS BUT I WASNT SUPER SPECIFIC SO LETS GO ONE BY ONE \OUO/

ANGEL

angel is a sex worker not a sex addict, theres a big bIG difference!! someone who has a lot of sex and talks about sex/makes sex jokes isnt a sex addict. they might be a slut but angel doesnt do anything for free so hes probably not that either! ALSO WE DONT SLUT SHAME ON THIS BLOG!! if ppl wanna do the do w lots of ppl thats their choice!

i dont think hes a drug addict either, when his drugs got ruined he seemed irritated but not like.. on the verge of a breakdown.  

an addict wouldnt say “aw dammit” and then move on, theyd be a wreck. 

be careful not to play it too fast and loose with terms like “addict”, thats a mental disease not a character quirk. 

angel definitely does drugs but based on what we know from one episode it just seems recreational (not saying its a good thing obv but this is hell so drugs are easy to get)

“drawn to look transphobic”…..im…incredibly confused how u came to that conclusion. vivzie draws lots of male characters skinny and if theyre furry (meaning literally covered in fur, not necessarily anthro) they have some chest floof! alastor, pentious, and other skinny male charas have almost the same body type but since theyre not as furry they wont have the floof! angel is just the floofiest boy! 

also said this in another ask but angel is not trans and im not sure why ppl keep thinking he is?

an effeminate male character =/= trans

a trans guy CAN BE effeminate but the two are NOT mutually exclusive and if u think so pls ..dont ldslkjds

VAGGIE

im seeing the “angry latina” thing spread a lot about vaggie and tbh i didnt get that at all from the show? shes kind and caring and when it comes to charlie shes incredibly soft ;; she gets angry in situations that well…anyone would get angry! 

“protective of the white girl” also feels like a stretch, charlie is her girlfriend! its not “the white girl” shes protecting, its the gf! if youre upset about a latina dating a white girl then…unfortunately thats a little racist of you,,,

a mixed race, gay, female couple AND THEYRE THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? thats pretty damn awesome if u ask me ; v ;

im latina and i didnt find her character offensive at all tbh i thought she was cool and i rlly dig her design!

and even with angel, a character that does and says insulting things to her to make her mad on purpose, she still takes time to explain things to him about how what hes doing is wrong or about things he doesnt understand

ALSO HER NAME IS A NICKNAME SLKLDKS i mentioned that in another ask too, only charlie calls her that and im p sure we all know her real name isnt vagina

LASTLY,

“i dont touch the gays” was said by a character we as a viewer are supposed to Not Like

SOME TIMES VILLAINS DO VILLAINOUS THINGS, antagonists will antagonize..

im mostly posting this for other ppl who may not know what to say/might need help defending why they enjoy this show when asked similar things , but if you truly feel this way about it then its ok not to watch or find enjoyment in it!

i dont think vivzie is awful but if you do thats entirely your right. we simply disagree! \ouo/

[weasleymalfoypotter]

i hate you (but not really) pt4

draco malfoy x fem!syltherin! potter reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

summary: draco malfoy and harry potters twin sister have hated each other since they met. but in 5th year he comes to find that maybe he doesn’t hate her and the reasons he did end up be the things he loves

word count: 2k

warnings: fluff, a little angst, cussing

A/N: i am honestly really proud of this chapter and i’m really excited for the next two. i think there are only gonna be six parts but i really hope you enjoy this one. please like and comment suggestions or criticism and feel free to reblog!! also i have a lot of stuff coming out soon so stay updated and i’ll be posting a master list once i post more fics

it’s safe to say that i am in love with draco malfoy. these last few months have been ethereal. we took our time in getting to know every detail about each other, although it wasn’t necessarily by choice. it was a lot more difficult than we thought it would be to spend time together like a normal couple would do while hiding the relationship from everyone we knew and even those we didn’t. we decided very early on that it would be best to keep it a secret for now. if his family found out about us it wouldn’t end well for him and if my brother and godfather found out... it would end very early for him. it was actually fun keeping it a secret, always sneaking around the castle, learning everyone’s routines to keep away from prying eyes, and hiding away from other prefects and filch. we abused our prefect positions to help with the whole secret relationship which is exactly what we aren’t supposed to do as prefects but it’s justified in my mind.

we’ve been together in secret for 6 months now and i think we’re both tired of not being able to sit next to each other in the great hall, walk and in hand to classes, kiss when everyone was watching, and simply go to hogsmeade together like a normal freaking couple.

we went to my dorm room after dinner on thursday night and made sure no one saw him come in. i didn’t have any roommates , thank merlin, so we didn’t have to worry about that. we cuddle up next to each other just talking about anything and everything until he moved from underneath me to sit up, criss crossed, in the middle of my bed and spoke

“i think it’s time” he was being serious and goofy at the same time which was just adorable but i was stubborn and wouldn’t tell him that. i raised my eyebrows at his statement and questioned him.

“what are you talking about?” i tilted my head to the side, voice calm and unwavering. i knew what he was talking about but i was terrified. i also knew he would be right.

“i’m talking about us, about telling people, if it gets back to my parents i’ll just tell them it’s a silly rumor. the only thing we have to do is tell your brother” his voice trailed off at the end of his statement. telling harry was the terrifying part

“i want to tell people, i really do, but harry is going to be so unbelievably upset, you have no idea. not only have i been lying to him for the past 6 months, i’m also in love with his arch nemesis who he’s hated for the past 5 years. it’s not going to go well” i was talking animatedly with my hands.

“i know but we have to get it over with sooner or later, and it’ll only be worse if it’s later” he’s right. and i hate it. i sighed and laid back on my bed and pulled me next to him. “i know you don’t want to but it really won’t be that bad”

“what were the last words my brother said to you?” he chuckled but didn’t say anything and i knew it’s because it would prove my point. “exactly. he’s going to hate me” he was tracing circles on my arm and he kissed the top of my head

“he’s not going to hate you, trust me, i used to and we saw how well that ended” we both laughed, he always made me laugh when i needed it.

“i would say it ended rather nicely” i said with a smile tilting my face to look at his. he was smiling and i loved it. i took in his features and tried to suppress this moment to memory, trying to take a mental picture of him because he was just perfect. he looked down at me laying on his chest, looking at him with my e/c eyes and i just melted.

“it ended better than nicely in my opinion” he was smiling and it was beautiful. he leaned his head down to kiss me and the only words to describe this moment and every other i’d spent with him was perfect.

-

here it goes. time to tell harry. or not. let’s not. dammit i cant, i promised draco i would do it. harry would usually keep me updated on their common room password so i could hang out with them or study away from the slytherins so i made my way to the portrait hole. i said the password and walked in. sure enough harry, hermione, and ron were at a couch, hermione doing homework while harry and ron talked. upon hearing someone come in they lifted their heads and smiled when they saw me.

“y/n! hey i’ve barely seen you all day where have you been?” harry asked. he hadn’t seen me all day because i was so nervous about telling him that i avoided him like the plague.

“oh you know, classes and prefect stuff has been keeping me really busy lately” i nodded fondling with my hands awkwardly

“tell me about it, i’ve been studying nonstop and i think i might fall over at any given moment.” hermione was exhausted and you could hear it in the way she spoke while she scribbled with her quill.

“you alright y/n? you look flustered” ron showed concern on his face and he was right, i am very flustered, but he gave me a segue.

“listen i actually need to tell you three something” this caught their attention and hermione put her quill down as they lifted their heads up

“what’s up?” harry asked

“okay so you have to promise me to be calm...at least at first, and don’t get mad right away because i’ll explain everything” they all looked so worried but i knew they weren’t expecting what i was going to say.

“y/n what’s going on?” harry questioned.

“promise me. all three of you. you have to promise”

“okay we promise” hermione stated and the boys nodded in agreement. i let out a breath and decided to get it over with

“so... i um..” i sighed “i’m dating someone” their faces lit up at this, harry looked excited but concerned at the same time

“who is it?! why didn’t you tell us you liked someone? when did this happened?” ron questioned before anyone else could get a word out. he was happy for me, you could hear it in his voice, and it warmed my heart but in a few seconds he wouldn’t be so warm.

“okay this is the part where you can’t get mad” they nodded, and harry just wanted to know who was dating his sister. “umm, i- uh... okay. it’s draco malfoy” i said the last part quickly and i bit my bottom lip ready for the world to fall apart. hermione’s eyebrows furrowed and her mouth dropped. ron’s eyes were wide and he was blinking as he started daggers into me with his mouth agape, and harry didn’t skip a beat.

“what the hell do you mean ‘it’s draco malfoy’!” he stood as he spoke and he was trying so hard not to completely yell but he was so confused and on the verge of pure rage.

“i mean that i’m dating draco malfoy” i stated simply. he blinked and the other two stayed silent to let him react.

“NO YOURE NOT!!”

“yes i am, now if you let me explain-“

“THERES NOTHING TO EXPLAIN Y/N!” i looked at him with pleading eyes and he took a deep breath. “okay okay there has to be some rationality to this so explain what the hell is going on. explain to me why you’re ‘dating’ the most foul, evil, and terrible person we know. explain to me how you could do this. explain to me how this is supposed to be okay” he said angrily and quite loudly. i took a deep breath and looked away before meeting his eyes again

“he isn’t foul and evil and terrible actually” i stated calmly.

“HA!! right and voldemort didn’t kill our parents. how long has this been going on?” he was flinging his hands around as he talked. i looked at my feet “y/n... how long has this been going on?”

“six months.” i said quietly, but he heard me. his face dropped

“i’m sorry, what?” he blinked hard “you mean to tell me that you’ve been dating draco fucking malfoy behind my back for six months?! you’ve been lying to me for six months?”

“i didn’t know how to tell you. i knew you wouldn’t understand and we wanted to keep it a secret for a while” ron and hermione were listening intently to everything still in shock

“OF COURSE I WOULDNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND!!” he ran a hand through his hair and took another deep breath “y/n how, why would you ever be with him? how could you trust him? how could you trust anything he says? how could you excuse his behavior?” he had a point...but i had an answer. and one that he couldn’t dispute.

“i know he was horrible for the longest time but he never wanted to be. everything he did in the past was because of his father and he has hated himself for it his whole life, he’s wanted nothing more than to apologize. it’s not an excuse and he knows that, especially with everything he’s said to you” i looked at hermione “but that’s not him.” i spoke with a pleading tone trying to get them to understand that draco isn’t terrible and loathsome.

“and how can you believe all of that? how can you trust what he’s telling you?” i looked at all three of them before i answered

“because he took off his ring” their faces showed even more shock than when i initially told them that i was dating draco malfoy behind their backs for six months.

“he what?!” hermione asked.

“back in september he told me he liked me, i asked all the questions you did. i asked him how i could trust him, so he took off his ring. i saw draco for he really is and not what we all though him to be” i sighed while harry sat down took all of this in. knowing that draco was being honest and that he was actually kind is a shock for most at first. ron was still speechless

“i still just- i don’t know how to...process this” harry said after pulling his face out of his hands

“i know and i don’t expect you to understand and be totally excepting at first but once you get to know him for who he really is, you’ll understand.” ron finally spoke up next

“he really has left everyone alone all year, no bullying, pranks, nothing. i guess that makes sense now.”

“this is so weird” hermione said “i honestly can’t imagine him any other way than how we’ve known him”

“he’s actually the biggest dork ever. he’s sweet, and funny, and...just wonderful” i said. now that everything settled down i felt better. their responses were different because there was no lying when i was in someone’s mindscape. they had to believe what i said i saw in his head. i sat down next to harry and he spoke

“don’t go expecting us to be buddies anytime soon, but if you really say that all of this is true and he really is a good person underneath his... facade, i’ll trust you” i hugged him and hermione and ron joined in

“i love you guys” i said and a chorus of i love you too’s surrounded me. this went better than i expected and i knew draco would be happy that tomorrow we could walk into the great hall hand in and hand for the first time.

TAGS: @idkmanicantenglish @dracoswhore007 @lordlodge

[popculturebuffet]

Quick Thoughts: Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl Reveal Trailer and Initial Roster

Whelp I didn’t expect to be doing another one of these so soon but welcome to quick thoughts where I give well quick thoughts on stuff instead of the longer form reviews I usually do. 

So as longtime or even short time readers of this blog might know I love NIck. I don’t review shows from it as often as Disney or Cartoon Network, but it was still a beloved part of my childhood and still makes great shows today such as the Loud House, Harvey Beaks and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s horribly mismanaged, which is why two of those shows are no longer with us and the last of them is weirdly missing from this game, and have a long and storied history of screwing things over.. and i’m not exagerating when Mr. Enter, no matter your opinon of him now, did a whole marathon of every nicktoon almost every entry included the fact the show had been screwed over in some way. 

But as anyone who knows my history with Disney will tell you just because I don’t sugarcoat a brand I like’s fuckups dosen’t mean they aren’t near and dear to me at the same time. I”m a grown up: I can have complex emotions towards a chlidren’s tv network. So I love it’s varied shows some of whom (Avatar, Harvey beaks again, Danny Phantom, Hey Arnold) are among my all time faviorites. 

Now something readers of my blog probably WOUDLN’T know is I love Nintendo, they have their own fuckups like weird release strageies and never doing a remotely decent discount like the competition, but their still a company I love and since I only play handhelds most of the time are my primary source of good shit. So naturally Smash Bros is my faviorite franchise of theres. I love the idea of fighting games but often struggle with the combo heavy nature. So Smash Bros, having a roster of some of my faviorite characters ever, a plaformer style control scheme, and a deceptivley simple style that’s easy to learn and fun to master with the right character, is my shit. Sure I won’t rush out to buy every dlc character, but you better belivie I played the hell out of Ultimate, will likely go back to it again some day, and did buy Banjo and Kazooie because fuck yeah. 

So yeah I needed to talk about Nick making their own smash bros clone. When I heard the rumors I wasn’t sure, mostly because Rumors can be just that.. but nope this game is happening and i’m all on board for it. This isn’t Nick’s first crossover rodeo in recent memory either also making a pair of Kart Racing Games: one I KINDA wanted to play till I looked at the roster, had a good laugh and lost that i want, and the other I really want to play as it seems like the first game if it were you know an actual game with a decent track selection, a deep character roster and an actual love of it’s properties. 

So making their own Smash Bros was a logical step and one i’m here for. We haven’t had any of the big cartoon networks make one since well.. Cartoon Network, and Nick has just a deep a bench to pull from, one that will hopefully get CN to get their cast to throw hands once more. 

For now though the idea of the vast history of nick all throwing hands with each other is amazing. Look i’m honest with myself: this looks like a decent smash clone,functional but nothing specail, but with the expressive character animation and solid roster you need for a game like this. I know going in i’m not going ot get Smash Ultimate quality of brawler, but i’m probably going to have fun with it. 

The only downside I see so far is , like the Kart Racers, theyd idn’t seem to get ANY voice actors for this which smacks of laziness, especially since most of the voice actors for these characters are still active, and in some cases like Spongebob or Loud House are still working with you. So you have no real excuse for this, shame on you.

But yeah the game looks good.. despite the trailer being pretty bad. It’s just some generic music set to “LOOK WHO WE GOT”. And granted look who they got is really spiffy and i’ll be diving into that in a second, but it dosen’t give any of these characters a reall chance to show off how they play or how awesome they are. It’s just a bland montage of whose in the roster in the same 2 or 3 stages. And when you have 15 stages overall to show off that’s not excusable. Again i’m not expecting Smash level quality revelas, this game dosen’t have the marketing budget, but you have a really great concept and roster here, you coudl’ve revealed it better and this game better. The Kart Racers 2 Trailer was also mildly bland but it did show off the game better, showing off several tracks and how VASTLY improved the roster was, so you CAN make a good trailer you just didn’t. It felt like they thought the poitn of all the smash reveals trailers was here’s a character and missed all the style and substance to them. 

That being said while the trailer was weak.. it was boyed by the fact this roster is REALLY damn good. Let’s face it I woudln’t even be talking about this game if the roster wasn’t this minty but they clearly learned from Kart Racers not to half ass it and while they learned the long lessons from Smash in how to promote the fighters they have, they learned the right lessons in having a nice mix of crowd pleasing faviorites for kids and vetrans alike along with a few deep cuts for said longtime fans. And this is JUST the intitial reveal roster: Given the Box Art isn’t out yet, I feel there’s more to come, especially since despite being perfect for the game there’s no one from the Avatarverse yet, but I also feel that Nick is saving that for a second trailer to announce the release date. But I can and will go into who i’d LIKE on the roster in another one of these sometime soon. -

Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy (SpongeBob Squarepants): I’m getting these three out of the way as their essentially to this what Mario and Co were to smash: necessary and inevitible.  As for who was chosen.. it was as obvious as putting spongebob himself int he game. Sponebob is Nick’s mascot, Patrick is nearly as iconic and Sandy is well loved as well as the spongebob character most associated with buttkicking. Being an expert martial artist is both part of her character and a cerntral part of her character and relationship with Spongebob. So yeah not a lot ot say here: it was ineivible but I don’t mind at all having grown up with them and with my niece and nibling being huge fans. 

87 Leo and 87 Mikey (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles): This one i’m mixed on. Not on the turtles being here: i’m a MASSIVE TMNT fan and i’td be stupid to leave them out since Nick Owns them, made the last two series, and they fit this kind of game like a glove, even having had their OWN smash clone to themselves once. 

No my issue is obviously in the version choseN: The 87 turtles. Again I have no beef with the guys themselves, I haven’t seen much of 87 but I want to and they look really gorgeous and nicely cartoony. It’s just a REALLY weird choice. The 87 turtles have never been on a nick network due to rights issues, have never been associated with nick, and aren’t the ones most kids of EITHER DEMO would be familiar with: Grown up fans of nicktoons from the 90′s like myself would be more familiar with 2003, and kids and teens from more recent eras would be more familiar with 2012 and rise, which REALLY should’ve been the rep. I mean their weird shame of rise bothers me enough on a good day but not using EITHER show you actually made bothers me, it bothers me a lot. I’ll still probably play Mikey, i’m not made of stone and as I said I have no beef with the 87 turtles, I just wish nick had used the others or hell just gone all lin and used one turtle from each cartoon. I mean if your going to use stuff you’ve barely aired why not give me some 2003 nostalgia too huh? Though it could just be that since, unlike the rise and 2012 turrtles the 87 turtles have the same body type and colors it was easier to just do all 4 and just give each unique facial expressions. Who knows... I knows it was probably that. 

Lincoln and Lucy Loud (The Loud House, Duh): Another pretty obvious one as The Loud House is currrently nick’s co-flagship show with spongebob. Still waiting for my diffrent world spinoff with Bobby and Lori guys. So yeah Lincoln isn’t a suprise and Lucy is only minorly one as it was a matter of “which sister”... and Lucy is one of the most popular. Neither really fit a combat setting.. but given this is a fun crossover game, that really dosen’t matter and in fact is kind of the fun: taking just the most insane matcchups imaginable and mashing them together. I mean this is a game where Lincoln and Lucy can beat up Leo and Mikey, why wouldn’t I want that kind of crack on my nintendo switch? I am hoping for Luna to make her way to the stage next as she was absent from Kart Racer 2 and would be really fun to play. Plus having ANOTHER bi fighter in the mix if korra gets in there would be awesome, let alone letting the two beat up or punch each other’s face. But again I could and probably will mak ea whole article about other possible fighters i’d want. 

The Plesant Suprises: Nigel Thornberry , Oblina and Powdered Toast Man (Wild Thronberries, Ahhh! Real MOnsters1 and Ren and Stimpy) : Yeah while only one of these cartoons was a faviorite as a kid (Wild Thornberries)... I have nothing but respect for these choices. One of the funnest things about Smash is while you can see some roster members coming sometimes you get utter curveballs like Mr. Game and Watch, Pirana Plant and MInecraft Guy. They also go for more cult franchises like SNK or Earthbound (the latter of which is fucking awesome localize mother 3 already dammit) too among the big heavies, making it feel like a true tapestry of Nintendo’s history. 

Nigel is the only one of these three that’s really obvious. He’s a meme, he was the best part of his show.. but it’s still just uniquely batshit to put NIGEL THRONBERRY in a fighting game. You better belivie he’ll be one of my mains. 

Oblina is more a suprise because I thought they’d go with Icket, but instead went wtih the character who was more popular and had a really unqiue and cool design, so i’m pleased as punch to have her. Finally while I don’t have any real attachment to ren and stimply apart from Log, and really it’s hard to gain any now knowing i’ts creator was a pedophile piece of shit, the franchise is still a cornerstone of nick history, the rest oc the crew didn’t abuse power or not make deadlines or be a com plete piece of shit, and powerded toast man is genuinely great. I”d love to see Really Big Man too, clash of the weird superheroes, I love me a weird as hell superhero. This also speaks promisingly that w’ell get some real weird curveballs to come and i’m here for it. 

The Rest: Helga, Zim, Danny and Reptar. (Hey Arnold, Invader Zim, Danny Phantom and Rugrats! ): Note i’m not lumping these together because their bad: their all graet nostalgic picks from timeless shows and with the rugreboot currently running on Paramount+, it’d be weird not to represent them. 

And since I brought it up reptar is a fun chocie, another oddball but one more understandable as no one wants to beat the shit out of a toddler. Or rather no one playing the game would care you could because it’s a silly fighting game and a 12 and 8 year old are also beat upable, but someone would probably throw a fit somewhere. Plus again it’s a game where you can have danny phantom fight reptar. Shut up and take my money. 

The rest are all great choices if ones I’m not suprised by: Hey Arnold’s an all time classic and being tough is a lot of Helga’s character, and again I can have her throw hands with nigel thornberry, reptar and a ninja turtle in the same match. Zim is another fan faviorite and fits the game like a glove and Danny Phantom is the one out of Nick’s three suprehero classics it actually still cares about so my boy getting in there isn’t a shocker, though his attacks lookw eird. Hopefully they green them up before the final prduct. 

So yeah overall it looks really promsing and really fun and i’ll probably check this game out if I get enough money when it comes out or more likely put it on my christmas list. But I will get it somehow this i swear.. speaking of which put manny in the roster dammit. If you liked this.. thing consider joining my patreon for a buck a month fo exclsuvie reviews and ot help me review tuca and bertie, amphibia and more as part of my memebership drive. 

[tomdiddlyumptious]

i know youre just as obsessed with the save your tears song as me, please make a fic with peter of it🙏🏾😭

lololol sorry i got this a while ago, but yes. i have an unhealthy obsession with this song. 

P.P~ Save Your Tears

warnings: none?? language??

words- 1.8k

You and peter...you and peter were special. When there was peter, there was you. No matter where you went, no matter where he went, you both were with each other, until you werent. 

“Y/n, i love you but i need this college, it means so much to me, tony wants me to go-” “tony wants you to go? He matters more then me? Peter ive been with you since forever” you said, tears pooling from your eyes, standing up in his room while he sat on his bunkbed- his cheeks and nose red as he looked at you. “So this is what its about, making tony proud? What about me peter? What about me?!” you waited for his answer, but when he didnt say anything, you just gave him an empty, sad look, a shocked look,”so this is it, huh? You go to college and you leave me and may in shitty new york, and for what?” you chuckled, “to make your” you did quote on quote “dad proud?” he became angered, staring daggers at you. “He cares about you but i clearly care more, you wouldnt even be thinking about college if it wasnt for me. Youd be stuck as spiderman still trying to make him proud!” you laughed.

“Peter, did you hear what i said, “STILL PROUD”. He doesnt even give you fuckin validation. You know what. Fuck you, have fun in missouri, i hope you make him proud” you said, stomping out and slamming the door behind you, power walking out and accidently ignoring may with your own crowded thoughts while you walked out.

But that was 2 years ago. 

You went to a college in Atlanta, peter long forgot, you and ned decided to go together. So there was a huge party in Atlanta, Harry knew about it causing Peter to know about it too. 

“Yeah theres this huge party in atlanta and i wanted to go” he said, in the kitchen of the apartment, eating chips as he looked at peter, who had his textbook in his hands and his glasses on, he looked at harry “your going out of state...just for a stupid party?” he said, his eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah i go every year,” “and your telling me this….for?”

“I want you to come with me” harry smiled, walking over and hopping on the couch while peter set his text book on the coffee table “i dont think so” he said, “oh come on! The most baddest chicks are their peter! And you need to get over y/n-” “shut up, harry” peter looked at him with a clenched jaw, your name was his kryptonite, making him weak in his stomach and his knees woozy as if they were gonna fall out. “Look, your doing it again” harry called him out. “Ive dated her for over 7 years harry, what am i supposed to do, toss her in the trash?” “Yes actually” he shrugged, making peter grumble before taking off his glasses and setting them down. “i’ll think about it” “i’ll pack your bag” harry did a quick grin at him before standing up and tossing the chips at peters chest. 

So there they are, moving into another apartment for three days, only taking out a few pairs of clothes and leaving it on the bed. “Party is tomorrow, we need drinks and stuff” “if its a huge party what do we need to buy stuff for?” peter asked, harry said, “You're too innocent” before walking off. 

“Ned! I do not need a plus one!” “it wont be a plus one it’ll be a plus two!” “im not going in there as a throuple” you turned to him, he didnt want you to look lonely inside of the party, so why not just go on an open date with betty and him? Because it weird, or thats atleast what you thought. You picked out your dress, your body has changed since senior year, making your curves more evident, which you didnt mind, it was nice. The dress was quite tight in the right places, making you feel confident, you asked betty how it looked, she said if she was a lesbian shed try to dig, which was unusual for someone like her to say that, but youd take it. “Are you sure, y/n?” he asked, genuinely, you turned to him and sincerely nodded. “Yes, thank you” 

And so there it was, harry and peter went to buy the drinks, two bottles of each just for home, which harry made peter try, peter wasnt pleasant but harry said hed need it. 

So there the party was, harry helping peter pick something out, making sure it wasnt too “nerdy” which ended up in harry having to give peter something to wear, an oversized orange shirt and jeans, a black hat backwards and some of peters normal shoes, vans. “Im proud of my creation” harry said while they both looked in the mirror, peter sighed in disgust “i hate you” “love you too bud” 

You and ned got ready, helping him out with which colognes he should use, you made him help you out with the makeup, it was a simple black dress but there was no harm in trying to pop it out, “red” “red? Are you sure? Does it bring out my skin??” you said, he nodded “wear it! And hurry! We have to pick up betty!”

It was 9 o’clock, the party already started as you and your best friends pushed past people to get something to drink, but one drink turned into two, and then to three, and then continuing on. Ned ended up with red lipstick and lip marks all over his face and a tie around his eyes, everyone cheering him on when he was in a drinking competition with the famous gregory, of course ned won, making the boys chant his ned “ned ned ned ned!” and you were in the front row with betty, a red cup in your hand and everyone letting out a deep “wooooo!” and whistles when ned stuck his arms out in the air before taking the tie off, you laughed as the party stopped the challenges and it was dancing time, so betty pulled you to the dance floor, you let out an “ahhh!” as in you didnt wanna dance but she gave you a stern look “loosen up” she smiled, dancing around and her grin widened when you started to slowly loosen up, drinking the forbidden juice in your cup before you threw it wherever.

Peter and harry finally arrived, drinks in hand as he looked around, “there really is hot chicks” peter said making harry laugh hysterically before grabbing a cup for peter. “Just make sure you leave before i do” “yuck” harry passed the cup to peter, and he took a sip, his throat burning before he looked at harry “dont give up, the party has just started! I have to use the bathroom” harry walked off, peter looked around at the different sections, he could sit on the couch but there was people making out there, he could join some of the shot gunning but it was clear they were already thirty drinks in, which left him to the dance floor. 

Dancing in the crowded hall, stood you, as before, his stomach turned and his knees felt woozy as his mouth slightly opened, it was really you. Your hips moving loosely with a huge smile on your face, you looked so much more happier without him, he started to feel bad, his mind coming to memories before you caught him looking at you, making your movements falter. Your mouth open with shock, a single tear coming down your face before he called out your name, you ignored him walking the other way. “Dammit!” he said, placing down the cup he didnt need before pushing past people, he could see the back of your head, he groaned when a girl pushed him “watch where your going dumbass!” she said, peter ignored her and came upstairs still following you, now into an empty hallway “Y/N!- Y/N- i know you can hear me theres literally nobody else in this fucking hallway!” he said, his walking stopped as yours did to, you looked back at him, turning to him. “Please” you made eye contact with him, your face empty as no words came out of your mouth, you walked to him, a hopeful smile on his face, until you walked passed him, your shoulder thumping against his that made him fall, he looked back at you and furrowed his eyebrows, his heart shattered in pieces as he swore he heard it break like glass, it was already cracked. 

You could have asked him why he broke your heart

You could've told him that you fell apart

But you walked past him like he wasn't there

And just pretended like you didn't care.

He ran away from you and now it was your turn, you told yourself not to cry, to save your tears for another day, or for another, he wasnt worth it, at least thats what you told yourself. He watched as you disappeared, sadness engulfing him as he sat against the wall. “Fuck” he ran his hands through his hair before he looked your direction again, tears threatning to roll down his cheeks as he couldnt believe that happened, but it was his fault, and once he noticed that, he broke down in tears.

he made you think that he would always stay

He said some things that he should've never said

 He broke your heart like someone did to his, 

And now you won't love him for a second time.

He didnt know it would make you cry when he ran away, he didnt even know why he ran away. He wanted to chase after you, for you to take him back because this time he really wanted to stay, two years, much too late. He didnt deserve you, you deserved better, not someone who left you for someone he didnt even talk to anymore, tony. 

“Save your tears, y/n” you told yourself, but you couldn't take it, you ran to your car and opened the door, getting in the driver's seat you cried, slamming the door shut as your back hunched and you hit the hunk, kicking and hitting the steering wheel until you couldn't anymore, tears ruining your makeup as you looked at yourself through the rear view, your hair a mess, your eyeliner ruined, you, ruined. you couldn't save your tears, you couldn't save them for another day, or another. Peter, the love of your life, ran away, and you cant love him again, because, he broke you.