#and they are now going back in time to relive 1d days

[aquarri]

.

[scandeniall]

story of us

pairing: suna x reader

the story of ur relationship <3; alternatively (more) dating sunarin headcanons but this time is somewhat of an order and talks good and bad 2K+ worth lol

a/n: i had more planned but half of these have been sitting in my notes for months and its kinda fucking long already bc he lives rent free!!!

warnings: uh the usual aged up (in ur 20s time skip type beat), language, yeah

Meeting

Now when y’all met suna was not looking to love at all. That man was just living his life and so where you. The two of you pretty much meet through komori. You’re a friend and it’s his birthday so him and a few of his friends go out for drinks bc why not. Young hot pretty financially stable v-ball players. Nah no ones there for any type of hookups literally just there celebrating a great guy.

They rent out a section at a relatively nice bar tbh. Not the cheapest and you can actually hear conversation. But also not a super expensive one where the patrons are middle aged with jazz music and the occasional track to relive “youth.” Komori’s a sweetie and will come outside to get you when you text that you’re there. You’ve met washio and ofc sakusa Before so you greet them casually then you turn and there’s Suna and a few others you haven’t met.

That greeting isn’t anything special I promise. Just “hey I’m so and so” and vice versa. It’s one of those meetings where you just think “he’s cute” but it’s such a fleeting thought. Y’all don’t even really talk that first night tbh. At the next practice Suna mentions offhandedly that he didn’t know komori was dating someone and komori is like: huh? Yeah sorry. I love (Y/N) and all but were just friends. Suna just shrugs not really caring to be honest until Komori just asks what did he think of you.

“Don’t really remember much man. Seemed cool though” he didn’t think he’d really see you again. Yeah you were close enough to have been at Komori’s birthday but if that was his first time ever meeting you, he figured you weren’t from around there are present very much. Yeah he was wrong.

Suddenly you were on Komori’s snap story more often, or maybe he’d just been noticing more. Too bad he couldn’t even remember your name 💀. Then it turned into you occasionally popping up where he was. He’d been told your name at least 5 times already but wouldn’t remember it the next day. Whenever he’d see you again he’d get a strained look like: “what is this mf name again” just laugh and tell him again bby.

That changed at some random house party by another mutual friend you two apparently had? You two were the only people just around the fire pit trying to catch some warmth in the chilly night. He’s probably just on his phone head bobbing his head to the muffled music from inside. And you’re just like “remember my name yet?” All jokingly. This sparks the tiniest bit of interest in him and he lets out a low chuckle and just admits “not at all.” I also feel like this is the first time he really looks at you and he’s like 🤨, wait you’re actually kinda cute.

That night y’all just kinda talk and vibe. The conversation comes easy as you two jump back and forth from talking about the music playing to sneakers which he brings up to stuff that you like. He’s actually really easy to talk to. So easy that u can forget about him not remembering your name despite meeting several times. You mention that you’d hung around komori before while they were gaming and that he seemed pretty cool. That leads him to asking “how do you know him anyways?”

“I used to date Sakusa”

Mentally he’s just like— ‘yeah I’m not getting involved in this. Time to go.’ Until you just start laughing.

“I’m kidding. He’s not really my type. We met after being paired together for a project in school.”

The two of you spend quite a bit of time just talking that night until you are joined again by some friends and it’s deadass like y’all weren’t just talking for almost an hour straight.

Getting Together

The process of getting together is like a cat and mouse game. You two start getting closer than friends and then something happens and you’re not talking for weeks. Whether it be life just getting busy, and then someone ending up on some random tinder date or so be it. Definitely one of those things were somehow someway y’all end up just hanging on one of your couches watching a movie. At some point there’s definitely a hint of sexual tension but neither of y’all act on it (later on you find on his finsta that he used to post several “i wont you 😔” memes  Folks can’t tell if hes joking or not (hes not))

You probably gotta tell that man you like him so if that ain’t you I’m sorry. Y’all not dating 😹. It’s something casual, y’all going to pick up some snacks for a movie night and why this mf keep looking at you out the side of his eyes instead of the road. You def texting the groupchat asking if you should confess. They tell you to boss up and just do it baby.

You literally end up confessing in that parking lot. Like right when he shuts the car off and starts swinging his keys on his finger and you kinda just blurt “I like you. Like like you.” He just kinda nods before his eyes widen. “Wait are you fr?” Like no you’re joking tf. It gets a lil awkward so you just go to get out the car and he’s like “I like like you too.”

I definitely don’t think either of you ever officially asked the other out it’s just at some point the understanding that you two are a couple. Like when you’re hanging out just you two hes more touchy, and then y’all start kissing and holding hands at some point. Then when you’re with friends he almost exclusively sits next to you and your friends notice the whispers in one another’s ears at the loud bar that seem just a hint too intimate for ppl who are just friends. Then y’all start arriving and leaving places together and people just at some point get the message (it’s later confirmed by you tweeting some shit like: I hate Rin why is that mf my boyfriend)

As far as anniversaries y’all draw straws to pick a day in the ballpark of the time y’all both think you became official. That’s the day you stick with even if it’s not true.

Relationship Flaws

A fault in the relationship is sunas kinda poor communication when it comes to things that matter. How he feels. Arguments. Love sure as hell don’t come east with anyone but when your partner won’t let you in? Yeah that’s like hell. That’s something you struggle with. And then on your end, it’s the impatience with him not letting you in. You try to wrongfully rush it.

 There’s definitely been arguments that stem from him just being upset about something unrelated to the relationship then coming to you for comfort without actually telling you what’s wrong. He kinda just wants to lay with his head on his chest but at some point that’s not enough. Y’all are in a relationship and should be able to talk about your bad days too.

You’re not innocent in this issue either because sometimes it comes off too pushy. Yes it’s from a place of care but sometimes that silent comfort is necessary. The walls will break in due time and y’all both know that deep in the back of your minds But then there’s a part that’s like— yeah we can’t let this become the norm

“Rin, can you please talk to me”

He will have literally told you “whatever” and that he “can’t deal with this rn” several times as he just shrugs and is like yeah “I’m gonna just go home. I’ll text you later” with an awkward ass pat on your shoulder if it really ruined his mood. If he’s leaving before he gets super upset and uncomfortable just some half assed kiss in your cheek

Another thing is I feel like he could be passive aggressive and let’s be real other folks doing it causes you to do it to. Y’all probably drag eachother on your finstas where you can both see it lol

But when it comes to making up he cracks first and apologizes when he started it. Or as y’all get more comfy with communication. If it’s not anything major he’ll just hit you with a text like “I’m bored come hang”

More Relationship Things

I feel like he love/hates driving. Likes the ride not always driving though. So if you ever proposed a late night drive he’d be down (if you offer to drive). He does let y’all take his car though. He reclines the seat pretty far back. Alternates between just closing his eyes vibing w/ the music or kinda just looking at you (he the type of bf that makes u nervous no matter how long y’all been together)The way he looks at you makes you nervous cause that man is fine as hell and you can just feel his eyes on you.

He films you on Snapchat and sends the video to you like “you look hot”

If he’s not ‘resting his eyes’ he’s mumbling along to the music because he has the aux. if y’all music tastes are different he occasionally throws in something you really like bc he likes how you perk up at one of your fav songs

Moving on. Y’all dap eachother up after s3x because it’s “modern romance” (boy stfu). You two came up with a sex playlist together and it’s on both of your phones. Sometimes one of you will add a troll song that the other doesn’t know and put it in the lineup. (Stole my heart by 1D has definitely played before and you were practically in tears laughing at his reaction. That was one of those songs he was like ‘yeah alright i think we’re done).

At some point you two develop your own handshake and it’s cute. Whenever either of you have to travel without the other that’s always the last thing you do before you leave eachother. There’s vids of your friends daring y’all to do your elaborate ass handshake drunk and doesn’t matter what’s in your system, you both know it like the back of your hand.

I think he values quality time a lot so there’s so many nights where you’re both just chilling in his room just doing your own things. He could just be at his desk watching some game highlights and you’re just doing hw on his bed with your own earbuds in work all spread out and he’s content. He’s also attentive so if he calculates that you’ve been working too long he’ll just take ur earbud like “hey let’s go get something to eat.”

People definitely think he’s the lazy one in the relationship but it’s 100% not true. Like stated above, he’s very attentive and can pretty much gauge how you’re feeling in the blink of an eye. He knows when you need alone time but won’t go without reassuring you that he’s here whenever you’re ready. When you do just need him he’s there without a second thought. If you’re more touchy he’ll have your head in his lap his arm running up and down your as you tell him what’s wrong. He knows when to joke about a minor inconvenience and over the course of your relationship knows when to cut the jokes and be serious with you.

He’d never admit it but he knows your coffee order by heart (he keeps up his image my asking wtf do you get everytime. Just let him LOL). He the type to peek at what you plan on wearing and ‘accidentally’ color coordinate then pull some shit like “why are you copying me”

Y’all def shit talk together. See someone doing something completely out of pocket in public— straight to ur phones you go (pack it up shade room). To the public it just looks like you aren’t paying any attention to one another on your dates but y’all are. Just over the phone so u don’t piss off ur target 😌

Y’all are very comfy in your relationship that you just say stuff. Y’all don’t even think.

“Rin, what if i crashed us in this car rn 😹”

“Do it. Might be fun”

When you two finally move in together it’s almost like how your relationship starts. Slowly more and more spares of stuff for you end up at his. He does sorta make the move near the end of your lease and is just like “you’re here more than me anyways.” (hes nervous but swears he’s not. Bby you’re literally shaking). Him moving you in is like hell. This mf takes sooooo long to help with boxes. Picks up 1 then sits for like 15 minutes. You ask for help the first few times and he’s just like “I got you” while continuing to scroll his phone.

Sleepy Shoulder kisses in the mornings. Only form a greeting you get but it’s ok

this is like my 100th dating suna hc and im still going this is SICK. it was so hard to not drop old refs bc i still believe in them 100% yes i do!!!!

[rnbziamau]

so I’ve been sitting on this thought for a while now but after listening to liam’s podcast I just need to say this.

Interviewers (and people in general) need to stop asking the boys about 1. whether they’re going to reunite, 2. about their days in 1D, and 3. about each other.

Hear me out. Whenever they’re asked about reuniting it’s always the same exact answer from everyone, “yes if they called i’d go right back to it” i’m sorry that is 100% a media trained answer. Maybe there is a little part of them that would like to get back but whenever they’re asked about their days in the band it’s always how overworked they were, how towards the end it wasn’t a good time etc. do you really think they want to go back to that?! That sort of leads me to my second point. Can you imagine being asked constantly about your past and having to relive some really dark days? (don’t get me wrong they had some really incredible days too that did outweigh the bad, but honestly you tend to remember the bad more than the good) You’re trying to do something new and on your own but all anyone ever cares about it was you used to do? That’s gotta be really frustrating. And finally, again imagine you’re in their shoes trying to promo new music, a clothing line etc. and you’re not being asked questions about your work but rather about the relationship between you and someone else. 

Questions should be geared towards the individual’s music and solo career and not continue to live in the past

I feel like there’s so much else i want to say but i don’t think I could do it justice at this point

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 1D Fanworks Appreciation Day!

I want to thank all the amazing authors and artists who make this fandom as special as it is.

Here are all the fics I read and loved this month: (this is going to be looong)

I don't want a taste (I want it all) || thedaggerrose (blessedfetish) || "Fuck me yourself you coward" AU - college - crack - humour - 3k

The AU where Harry tells Louis to go fuck himself, Louis tells Harry to fuck him himself, and Harry follows through.

Always || JamieJam93 || amnesia - references of past depression - 85k

Thousands, if not millions, of fans had been right. Harry and Louis had been in love and together for four whole years. They were 'the dream team'; the couple that made others sick while simultaneously envious.

But thousands of fans had been right about something else too. The pressure had been too much. The fame had been too much. The closet had been too much, and, four years after the pair swore to each other that nothing could break them on the night of their first kiss in 2010, they broke up.

Fast forward to 2018, on the night of One Direction's last ever concert, and Harry has yet to move on. It's not as sad as it seems-he still lives his life and, for the most part, he's happy-but he knows that Louis was his one true love and is trying to prepare himself for a life completely without the other when an accident erases Louis's mind of all of his memories. In reliving the moments with him, trying to make him remember, Harry comes to find that maybe he never really forgot them at all and maybe, like him, he hadn't moved on either.

Enjoy The Ride || 2tiedships2 || a/b/o - strangers to lovers - road trips - fluff - 11k

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

Whisper The Wind || jacaranda_bloom || strangers to lovers - surfing - fluff - 36k

The one where Louis rides an elevator that may change his life forever, Harry loves the ocean but is a terrible surfer, Liam proves not all heroes wear capes, and Niall might actually have all the answers.

A kiss to build a dream on || noellehenry || Christmas - social media - pining - 17k

Harry has a brief encounter with a handsome stranger at the local Christmas Fair, the romantic kiss they share changes everything.

Harry is determined to find his Prince Charming and sets up a tumblr blog with help from his best friend Niall, owner of the locally famous Steamin' mugs.

Let the challenge begin!

Enter the Rose Garden || angelichl || a/b/o - friends to lovers - 10k

Soft heats make omega Louis clingy. Enter alpha Harry.

I been feeling high when I touch your body || Anonymous || gym - boxing- 17k

Harry is a boxer, Louis is an architect and Liam is the worst cupid that could ever exist.

The Pink Ghost of Princess Park || objectlesson || PWP - humour - sex toys - established relationship - light dom/sub - 7k

The thought of the vibrator does not go away. It’s sitting there collecting dust all through January, and every time Harry and Louis have to leave town for a press event or a show or to record or what have you, they come back home, and it’s still there, the Pink Ghost of Princess Park, the fucking glittery haunting that Harry cannot stop thinking of Louis stuffing up his arse.

Leave Your Mark On Me || FullOnLarrie || a/b/o - restaurant - mating bond - friends with benefits - enemies to friends to lovers - 32k

When Chef Harry Styles’ unbonded Omega designation threatens to derail his career, he does the only thing he can, and goes in search of a black market bond.

You Can't Change The Rolling Tide || LiveLaughLoveLarry || sailing - enemies to friends to lovers - childhood friends - friends to lovers - 25k

Louis lives on a tiny island off the coast of England and runs a sailboat touring company. When Niall is sidelined for the summer after his knee surgery, Louis needs a temporary new partner. Who better to fill that role than Harry, recently returned to the island after five years away? Louis is pretty sure there are plenty of better options. They don't get along until they do.

Take Care Down By The Water || shyserious || fantasy - magical realism - celtic mythology - fluff - angst - 37k

Louis has spent his summers at his Granny's in the Isle of Barra for almost as long as he could remember.

This summer wasn't supposed to be any different, but the little Scottish island turned out to be harbouring more than just the gorgeous white beaches, the clear waters, and the town drunk scaremongering the foreign tourists.

Pray Till I Go Blind || el_em_en_oh_pee || religion - religion kink - demon - homophobia - blasphemy - 19k

Louis is (kind of) a preacher. Harry is (probably) a demon. Of course, nothing's as simple as that.

This is not a love story.

Nocturne || rosegoldhl || fairy tale - fantasy - action/adventure - pining - 36k

Harry is a goblin living in the woods, entirely enthralled with a human named Louis.

I'm still learning to love || literato || minor character death - kid fic - pining - fluff - light angst - 74k

An au where Harry has almost everything in the world except for the will to move on.

Tell Me Your Secrets || dimpled_halo || For A Good Time Call AU - enemies to friends to lovers - dirty talk - phone sex - humour - fluff - angst - 17k

A For a Good Time Call au where Harry and Louis get off on the wrong foot when they first meet. When dire circumstances forces them to become roommates, Harry finds out some things about Louis that he doesn't expect will help him discover some things about himself.

We come in line || starsinoureyes || The Switch AU - mpreg - fertility clinic - 19k

Harry decides to have a baby on his own, Louis doesn't agree it's a good idea but lets him do it anyway. It took seven years and Harry getting artificially inseminated for them to find each other. Louis has a secret he didn't tell Harry and it might affect their family. Also featuring: a pre-pregnancy party, fertility clinics and pregnancy scares.

Sugar, butter, flour || EmmyLouWho || Nailed it! (TV) Fusion - reality tv - pining - 5k

Louis watches Harry start to pour icing onto his half-raw, still hot cookie, and tries to hold in his groan. He isn't sure if they’ve ever had a contestant on the show who tried so hard…and yet completely failed at every single step.

You can’t rig the show to help a contestant, he tells himself. Even if they’re adorable.

dopamine || Only_angel_28 || collge/university - meet-cute - social experiments - fluff - strangers to lovers - 7k

Louis honestly doesn’t know how he gets himself into these types of situations.

Well, actually, that’s a lie. He’s doing this because he needs the money, and because he’s curious. And, okay, maybe because he might be a little bit lonely too. He has always had what his mother affectionately calls an “adventurous spirit.” Couple that with being a (tragically single) broke grad student and voila! here he is scrawling his signature on a release form provided by the university’s sociology department. Essentially, he is agreeing to snog a stranger on camera for the sake of science.

Shouldn’t be a problem, right? All he has to do is lock lips with a (hopefully) fit bloke, collect his money, and be on his way. Easy peasy. Little does he know, fate has other plans for him in the form of one adorably quirky art student who goes by the name of Harry Styles.

Best kind of bad something || wildestdreams || established relationship - angst - fluff - ambiguous/ open ending 40- k

A NorCal AU where Louis is the town troublemaker and everyone hates him except for Harry.

What, like it's hard? || starkidpatronus || Legally Blond Fusion - girl direction - enemies to friends to lovers - enemies to lovers - humour - fluff - 25k

In which Harry goes to law school to win back her man, but gets a lot more than she bargained for.

Tell Me This Is Paradise || QuickedWeen || girl direction - smut - 5k

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Your rainbow will come smiling through || hazkaban || Cinderella Story AU - minor character death - bullying - fairy tale retelling - 17k

When harry isn't working at his stepfather's cafe, he's trying to make swim captain and trying to finish all his coursework on time. when he's not doing any of those things, he's talking to the boy he met on the oxford hopefuls subreddit. when they decide to meet, he's elated. he finally gets the chance to meet the boy he's been crushing on! when the day comes to meet his prince, he learns that his online crush is none other than louis tomlinson, captain of the football team and friend of his terrible stepbrothers. now harry has to decide whether telling louis the truth is the right choice or if it's better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

From, your secret admirer || flicker_album || secret admirer - Valentine's Day - tumblr - mentions of anxiety - 13k

The one where Louis is Harry's Tumblr crush so he sends him secret admirer messages for Valentine's Day

Every Story Has Its Scars, Ours Is a Brand New Start || Rearviewdreamer || strangers to lovers - hurt/comfort - domestic violence - angst - dubious consent - implied mpreg - kid fic - 62k

Life as a devoted husband and an amazing father turned out to be a little different than Louis had expected. Everyone tells him it doesn't have to be that way; that he's worth more and that he's so much stronger than any one person trying to keep him down. It's all just words though until he meets the one person who makes him truly believe it.

The Pain Is For Pleasure || lovelarry10 || BDSM - established relationship - 67k

Louis and Harry have been together for a few months. Everything is great, but there’s one question burning in the back of Louis' mind - why won’t Harry have sex with him?

I Just Wanna Get Back to Us || louiesunshine || soulmate-identifying marks - angst - post-divorce - exes to friends to lovers - mutual pining - getting back together - slow burn - 62k

Or, where Harry and Louis are divorced soulmates who are seeing each other for the first time in two years.

Soup Of The Day || jacaranda_bloom || strangers to lovers - minor injury - hurt/comfort - 20k

The Restaurant AU where Louis and Niall are chefs, Chicago is windy, and cracking the big time is harder than they ever imagined. But when a mysterious man starts grading Louis' soups by leaving little piles of rocks, could it be just the thing they need to get them on the road to success?

Bleeding Love || momentofclarity || girl direction - enemies to lovers - famous/non-famous - 27k

Louis is an animal rights activist who throws red paint at fur coat wearing it-girl Harry Styles. Then there's a crack in the surface and something new starts bleeding through.

Oh, Darling My Heart's On Fire (For You) || aiienharry || girl direction - fluff - angst - 33k

Two girls fall in love on a road trip that was supposed to last a week and a half, but it ends up feeling like a lifetime.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This || MrsStylinson || fake/pretend relationship - escort - angst - heartbreak - fluff - friends to lovers - 30k

Loosely based on The Wedding Date. Inspired by 27 Dresses. Basically, Fake Boyfriend AU with a twist. Louis' sister is unknowingly getting married to the ex who broke his heart. When faced with the prospect of turning up alone, Louis panics and hires a corporate escort named Harry. General chaos and epic jealousy ensues.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

irving embezzling money from axl rose’s tour and sabotaging his efforts of becoming solo so he could make more money at guns n roses even though they’d been friends since the 80s says a lot about azoffs. and in a way it opens uo a big can of worms. i’ve bitten my tongue long enough so here goes my long opinion i’m sure a lot of people actuallh probably asked for. i know i get anons about it all the time i’m too scared to ever answer.

Azoffs are known for being ruthless, not loyal and compassionate. they’re also known for being liars. irving lied in congress’s face about how his merging with ticketmaster would bring more jobs, when he fires hundreds just so he could get a bonus. and let’s not forget a great irving quote. that he’d rather be a smart-ass than intelligent. and jeff saying his metric for success is to just exist. there’s just nothing…. good about these people. they’re childish and keen on revenge and they’re just like simon cowell. it’s known that when you reach the penthouse of the corporate ladder you’re faced with pure psycopaths. those are the people who put harry in a family portrait on a wall. seeing how much money they expected from harry, it’s obvious that was just pure manipulation. how can anyone think highly of people like that?

that’s not in the business books. they’re not business people. no one at that level is. they made it to the top through a series of connections and deals between each other when they were just rookies on a brand new business field. which worked for a while. but it’s temporary. there reaches a point where their empires crumble at an age when they’re too old to know how to fix and to a severity they can never repair. it’s what happened to simon cowell. now it’s happening to irving. although really it’s been happening for years. i’m not convinced he is actually as powerful as the articles in magazines he has connections with say, just like i don’t believe when they call harry a legend or thar two ghosts didn’t flop. i think irving’s been losing money for years. fleetwood mac’s agent will have a hard time finding his place in the era of tropical house music and kardashian lovers. i don’t think it will take much to push this man to bankrupcy except a little push. so uh… congrats to harry on making that connection? don’t think so. half the reason he jumped to claim harry so quickly is because he’s desperate for cash. the baby jagger/bowie of 2017? come on, who asked for that? irving’s blinded by his own desire to relive his glory days. which are obviously very very very very very far behind him. 

i’m sure irving could get away with lying and stealing his way to the top in the 70s, but holding a monopoly on magazines and websites no one reads anymore doesn’t work. you can’t censor social media. back in the 70s and 80s there was only magazines and articles to get information. if you were a legend there people would buy it. not anymore. irving’s entire star-studded client list have flopped, because the “most powerful man in the industry” is an obsolete tired old man, whose prodigy is as talentless as he is. they’re not wise. his business advice is laughable and founded on pure ego. it shows with how solo harry was born. it’s no surprise jeff has been there since 2013.

i think irving pitched an idea for a more rock justin timberlake out of 1d and convinced sony 1d would crumble just like “every other boyband” even though they proved they were so much better. that proves irving’s oh-so great and wise advice there. not only was he stupid enough to think harry was a golden goose, but the solo career they planned since 2013 for harry was a complete and absolute failure. they literally had to bring back the image syco crafted in 2011.

except no one wants to stan harry again. it’s kind of like when someone cheats on you. we’ve seen a side of him that is greedy, manipulative, narcissistic, and disloyal. it’s over.

irving didn’t sign up to manage a boybander, which is the only way he can make up the money lost on harry: bring back 1d harry and make him sing tropical house music and collab with the likes of calvin harris and charlie puth. nah. irving wanted a rockstar. only indie collabs, only rock magazines, only womanizer-fueling gigs, only edgelord pr girlfriends. the fact there’s even damage control seems reluctant. because we’re still seeing that back and forth between 1d harry and rockstar harry. irving looks like the type who would blame the consumer and not the product.

i guess right now it’s a question of how well he takes to failure, and that failure landing on his shoulders since everyone in the industry knows jeff is an idiot constantly asking his dad for advice. he’s the fruit of the irving tree. judging by how badly the entire family takes to simple rejection, i take it a straight up failure that cost millions and made him a laughingstock if sony wasn’t too busy scolding them will hurt even more. it’s one thing for acts you’re funding yourself to flop. but when you get the entire industry to back an artist you assured them would make them all very rich people, that’s a lot of trouble you’re in. and when you’re the most powerful man in the industry(according to a list written by a magazine you partially own) then you’re probably… not taking well to failure. the fact we no longer see harry getting cuddly with jeff and that painfully awkward picture from iheart where harry is blatantlt leaning away from jeff, the trouble in paradise is already evident.

you need to understand that azoffs are just not clever people, none of these legendary businessmen from the 70s are. shelli azoff through a violent fit because she couldn’t get through copyrighr to play the movie sex tape, which got horrible ratings and bombed. that’s how well these people know how to spot talent. corporate ceo’s spot money. the old men of sony spotted the 1d money, and they spotted harry. they, in classic senior citizen fashion, believed harry was the justin timberlake of 1d. they thought his fans were stupid and uneducated teenage girls. irving, desperate loser with everything at stake, specifically called dibs and was conceited enough to think anyone would give a shit about 70s rock in 2017, and ta-da! throw in the millions for that debut, because these old men know best!

that’s it. that was the mentality that birthed holo. old people who can’t accept that their empires built on lies are crumbling and that their wisdom is worth shit in an age where people like us are airing these men’s dirty laundry and educating ourselves with business practices. we’re very smart consumers. and very cynical ones too.

so irving can keep pouring out money for good reviews and grammy’s. but there’s no money to be made from it. when meghan trainor’s two grammy’s went to waste because her insensitive comments about anorexia lost her the support of the gp forever, she was dropped. her career is no longer a priority because the following singles she put out couldn’t make up for the money spent on her. and keep in mind all about that bass was a much bigger hit than sott.

these people want big money at a fraction of the cost. 1d was sony’s dream. they paid almost nothing on their promotion and exploited them to the bone and made billions off them. they thought that if they put big money into harry, they’d get triple that back and kill two birds with one stone: replace adele once she goes back on her 5 year hiatus, and replace 1d too. that’s not happening any time soon.

harry’s career needs a complete overhaul. irving’s entire rockstar plan needs to be thrown away and there will be no more male adele aspirations. they would need to win back the entire 1d fandom’s trust and undo the damage they themselves did to harry’s brand and accept he will be making ¼ of 1d’s money and probably not be doing as well as the other boys. not only is that a big blow the egos of all the men bragging and laughing about all the money harry was going to make them, but it’s a big blow to their wallets too. 

i’m convinced karma will come for these people just like it did for simon cowell. harry had his greedy little hand in the pot, too, so karma will come for him as we. for lying to the boys for over 4 years, for separating himself so he could get attention, for agreeing to manipulate his fans in every way for money and fame.

so i don’t think they’ll do what needs to be done to save harry’s career. i think this will end as badly for harry as it is for the investors who are not getting what they were promised as early as 2013. i think they’re angry and they’ll let out that anger on someone. either harry or irving, but my guess is irving, who took the baby jagger project so seriously and personally expecting to get all the credit and not all the blame. that’s a lot of blame for a very tempermental loser. i think the nicest thing irving could do to harry is lower his budget to whatever they can afford and keep his music career going. the worst thing they can do is blacklist him and make sure he loses as much money as irving did.

i can’t decide if i should end this with “it’s the sign of the times” or “just how fast the night changes”. either way i’m no longer emotionally attached to harry to do anything except grab my popcorn and watch this swerving car head closer and closer towards the edge of a cliff.

[the-guccidamn]

a decade; an entry.

it’s december 31st and weirdly enough, i just want to cry. over what? i have no idea, i am still trying to figure out. maybe because it’s not only the year ending, but a whole ass decade. maybe because exo is having a concert right now and i stopped streaming because i am afraid it might really be their last. maybe because the holidays, in general, are making me upset. i don’t know, i just feel upset.

but i wanted to do a recap just for the sake of it. scratch that, tbh i am just one of those sentimental human beings who love going back and remembering. 

so here goes.

2010

graduated elementary with flying colors. valedictorian. i remember being just so eager to learn, to be the best, to achieve and achieve and achieve things - as many as i can. i remember entering high school and being blown away by the presence of new people. high school made things more interesting - socially. i belonged to squads. i had legit crushes that turned into heartbreaks (or so i thought back then). high school drama was also prominent, was it even high school without it? everything was just so new, refreshing, interesting and there i was still trying to be on top of it - in a good way. or not. i tried to blend in, to belong, whilst aiming for that first honor medal. this was also the year i cried for the first time because i was not able to attend a damn concert. i hate u justin bieber for making me feel distraught that day in may. i also hate the fact that i did not know it was going to be our last annual family outing. corregidor was still a place to revisit though, thanks to the history attached to it - no, i don’t think i liked their beach very much.

2011

a continuation of the eager version of me. you know this year might have been my calmest and chillest year had it not been for the fact that my family’s life turned upside down. my dad got diagnosed with cancer and well, you can say nothing has been the same ever since. it wasn’t until i am typing this that i realized how traumatic that year was. sudden visits to the hospitals. me being on edge all the time. me trying to be the same eager vane who wants to achieve as many as she can to make her parents proud, while trying to hide the fact that she is so so SO SCARED of what might happen. looking back, i tried so hard to busy myself with academics, with friends, just so i wouldn’t have to dwell with my family’s current situation. home made me so stressed - emotionally and mentally, but i couldn’t just run away because i knew back then that it would be such a waste of time and energy and just - i did not wanna regret anything. it was also the year when i sprained my ankle during sparring. we took Taekwondo classes - would have been a black belter or somewhere close to that if we continued it though, i mean maybe.

2012

the inevitable happened. 5 became 4. and i don’t know. to be honest, i am currently contemplating whether or not i have cried enough during that year, or even allowed myself enough time needed to just feel the pain because i don’t think it has healed yet. or will it ever be healed? does time really heal all wounds, or does it just make them more tolerable? it is pathetic but i can trace everything that i have been hurting about lately to this year alone. my heart literally breaks every now and then, and every now and then i try so hard to mend it because who wants to live the rest of their lives with a shattered heart? goodness me. i spent the summer of it acting though, and preparing for my first ever musical appearance. the workshop was satisfying as i got compliments for my acting. little did they know that every day i attended it was me already acting out that i was, in fact, okay and not on the verge of crying. it’s funny because 2012 was also the year when a huge turn point of my whole identity happened. it was during the time when i was tolerating the pain of having my wisdom teeth removed, and out of boredom i searched One Direction on Youtube - the rest was history. One Direction literally became my savers, distraction, whatever you can call it. It was unhealthy, in some part, yes, but at least I do not feel devastated, at loss, sui***al. It was such a big change. I am still the eager vane who tried to achieve and achieve but now a new reason was added, it’s to be worthy of asking a concert ticket just in case 1d decided to pay Manila a visit. I was such a sucker for them. it was when i discovered stan twitter, new people who are also “like me”, exposed to new cultures, time differences, the fangirl culture - oh the fan parties what fun. I hated and loved niall, louis, liam, zayn and harry (OH HARRY) at the same time. along with my fangirl awakening, 2012 was the year when i attended my first ever concert. it was of the jonas brothers. i won the ticket through twitter out of sheer desperation (i even skipped school because i was just so upset at the thought of not going) and then there i was. found myself inside moa arena, alone, in lowerbox. and when when you looked me in the eyes played, a wave of feelings hit me. i felt at home. the moment, i left the arena, there was a newly discovered need of attending concerts inside me already. i also got braces this year.

2013

if this was the peak of 1d, this was the peak of my high school life i guess. or was it because i was in my fourth year? nonetheless, i remember just feeling so high that year. figuratively. i was so busy with academics and fangirling i had no time to feel low. do you get what i am saying? it was sort of the year where everything in my life is fitting into places. i really busied myself with trying to achieve as many as i can because i wanted to be the class valedictorian. i joined the interschool youth month event - there’s a fake council meeting we had back then, and i remember feeling so giddy that they picked my proposal. i also made friends with the people i met there. i had felt accomplished when i was able to write and finish a script for a play - which i also directed, and played in. i felt so so sooo proud of myself for performing a monologue during the talent contest of the most outstanding student of muntinlupa, and even more so when i learned i placed 12th. i felt so accomplished for being the student council’s president, for contributing to the choreo of our cheerdance, for winning the field demonstration, for having lots of hohol with friends, for getting a passing score during the mock UPCAT, and even more so for passing UPCAT, and even UST (damn you, Ateneo). 2013 made me feel i had everything figured out.

2014

Assumption College - man, I did not expect to end here. an all girls’ school, really? but it’s still a prestigious one so...... i hated myself for not pursuing UST or UPLB. talk about culture shock, this was what this year was all about. it’s a blur now, honestly. i remembered just trying so hard to belong again. i tried to blend in to the elite girls there - whilst sticking to my identity. i did not join any clubs, although i wanted to, because as an academic scholar, i had to see if i would be able to balance them out if ever. but i also remember trying to fulfill my uaap dreams - it was the year i became so obsessed with uaap men’s basketball (hello, von pessumal), i went to real games (thank u sweet anne and vhon) and i event went to the cheerdance competition. and it did not happen again lol. 2014 was just the year of frosh vane and everyone in college being surprised that i do well academically.

2015

now this is a pretty interesting year. would i like to relive it? 95% yes. the 5% is because this was the year zayn left 1d, broke my heart and had me healing it for 4 months. anyway, to start, i attended two concerts this year. 1st was The Vamps - this was just impulsive. i liked them but did not really stan. now idk the main reason why i pushed myself so hard to find a gen-ad ticket for their show - but hey their music was my jam back then, also i learned that gen-ad was for desperate people only because it was so high my acrophobia was shaking so there you go. i attended Graphika as well that year - i was enlightened of what my program could do, guess it was the start of falling in “like” for my program which i also chose impulsively. the second concert was the one and only, of One Direction. BEST DAY STILL. ONE FOR THE BOOKS. AN ACTUAL CONCERT I WAITED FOR. I REMEMBER HOW HAPPY I FELT THAT DAY DESPITE THE SHITTY EXPERIENCE OF LINING UP UNDER THE SUN FOR 11 HOURS (little did i know it was nothing compared to what i would be doing now). BUT MY GOODNESS, SEEING THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME LIVE, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE ONLY FOUR, WAS ENOUGH. I FELT SO HIGH AND JUST GENUINELY HAPPY I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING THAT NIGHT. I LOVE ONE DIRECTION 5EVER. I FELT SO LOVED BACK THEN IDK EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED BUT I JUST DID AND I ALSO REMEMBER NOT WANTING TO LEAVE THE CONCERT GROUNDS AND NOT WANTING IT TO END. but zayn left, 4 days later. man, it felt like a real breakup, and i did not even have a boyfriend so. thankfully, my school went through an academic calendar shift meaning we had 4 months of vacation so i was able to mend it during that time and enjoyed watching tons and tons of movies and series. also, my family was able to go to Baguio after so many years, there’s that. anyway i went back to school with a newly appreciation and knowledge for films whilst sporting my new short hair look. the first semester of my sophomore year was a blast - i felt like a real communication arts student for the first time. we spent our days editing, shooting, script writing, acting, concept making, IT WAS FUN AND I LOVED IT SO SO SO MUCH. even more so when my pieces got compliments and praises from my professors, i was so pleased with myself. the second half of 2015 was me putting a twist to my college life. i joined a club, and not just any club, i joined the school’s dance company. hip-hop team. with a legit coach (no pun intended). and dare i say it was life changing? i learned a lot since then. values that only a dedicated student-athlete can understand. looking back, auditioning for tadc (no matter how scary it went) was an A+ decision. i would audition again tbvh. it opened me to a new community and experiences not everyone has the privilege to have. trainings may have been tough but the bliss you feel after every successful run was enough to keep going. 

2016

I TURNED 18. it was the year i had my jade west phase. i had no regrets. it was the year when i had my first ever dance competition - we lost 1st place though, but it was motivation for me to not leave the group and continue to strive for the better. 2016 WAS THE YEAR FOR FANGIRL VANE. I SAW 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER. LIVE. IT WAS AS AMAZING AS EVER. after camping out for the first time just for the sake of buying a ticket with soundcheck inclusions, did not buy it myself though because i had a performance at the same time, I FINALLY GOT TO BE IN THE VIP MOSHPIT OF THE BAND I LOVE THE MOST. IT WAS A THRILLING ROLLERCOASTER NIGHT. I DANCED SO HARD. CRIED BECAUSE THE SONGS BROUGHT SO MUCH MEMORIES. FREAKED OUT BECAUSE LUKE MY BOYFRIEND HEMMINGS WAS JUST AN ARM AWAY. I ALSO GOT MICHAEL’S GUITAR PICK. I CAN SAFELY SAY I WON THAT DAY. I WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. 2016 was when i really busied myself in dancing. my first crissa competition and let me tell you how fulfilling it was to compete with top schools and perform on the same stage as them. who could have thought i would be performing at the big dome, right? it’s really just me and my growth as a dancer for 2016. oh and my slowly coming back to the kdrama/kpop world.

2017

EXO. THE PLOT TWIST OF MY 2017. the moment i impulsively attended THE EXORDIUM IN MANILA, i was in it for life. it was 1d all over again. I SPENT DAYS FANGIRLING, KEEPING UP, WATCHING FANCAMS AND VIDEOS. READING SEKAI FICS. ACTUALLY BUYING ALBUMS AND MERCH. AND WOW JUST A NEW FANDOM CULTURE TO LEARN AND DROWN MYSELF IN. EXO was meant to be though, knew it when i danced to Growl back in 2013 but never did i think i would be in it SOOOOO DEEP. THE IMPULSIVE DECISION TO ATTEND THEIR CONCERT WAS SO WORTH IT. I FELT SO SO SO HIGH AGAIN AND ANOTHER KIND OF BONAFIDE HAPPINESS. i am thankful to have found another distraction/motivation especially when things are getting hard in school. campaigns here, campaigns there. and thesis. stupid thesis. it’s really that thing in school that will make you cry. 2017 was also my last academic year. my senior year in college. and it changed a lot in school especially when you are part of organizations, it gets busier than ever, more schedules, you cannot keep up. i cannot believe i was able to balance thesis, academics and tadc especially on the last quarter of the year. had to study, submit requirements, train endlessly, at the same time i was honestly going insane. HOWEVER, TADC CAME IN 4TH PLACE DURING CRISSA FINALS with a team consisted of half rookies HU TO THE RRAH. I also became more committed to the team than ever :( i never expected it but i guess such things happen when you actually do like what you are doing. coach vimi also acknowledged me a lot this year :( i felt so pleased again.

2018

i really don’t wanna remember this year. after graduation, my mental health dropped to an all time low. i was paranoid, insane, anxious. it was the start. i also got an appendicitis and underwent appendectomy this year. but hey, on december i got a stable job at a well-known accounting firm (uh, what? right). earlier during this year though, i saw exo again for the 2nd time. it was bittersweet, i swore to do better for the next tour. and yes, for all it’s worth, for all those times i strived so hard to get an uno whilst being surrounded by org commitments and pagod na ako moods, i graduated magna cum laude from assumption college. still, a win for me. oh and 2018, i finally got my braces off.

2019

here it is, the last year year of this decade. what can i say? to be honest, it was just me holding my mental health in. there were worst days, but there were also the best days. best days include me lining up for 30 hours for an exo ticket (with camila, and surprisingly, my mom). it ended up with me feeling blessed and grateful, and my heart full. of course, there’s the concert itself. seeing exo for the third time doesn’t really feel different compared to the first time i saw them last 2017. they were down 3 members yes, but i still felt so happy to share that moment with them. that’s when i knew i was really in it for life. best days also include me accomplishing my tasks in my work with flourish, getting compliments from my boss. oh and it also includes the outings i had with my family. went to the beach twice this year - first in batangas, second in pagudpud. cried in batangas because it has really been so long and beaches remind me of the good old times. in ilocos, it went well, i am glad we got to see that despite our situation, outings like this are still possible. i am so glad to say, or rather write, that i am ending this year and this decade, with a calm heart. i am happy, as happy as i can be this year. we had a pleasant staycation during Christmas. and i finally handed in my resignation, plus i got to have 2 weeks off thanks to my approved VL. exo made me cry though :( i hope to see them still next year.

for 2020, and for the next decade, i hope to be happy. the genuine happy. i pray that my family would be healthy, stress-free and happy, and complete. i pray that everything will go well with my new job. i pray that i will be able to do more outings with my family (even internationally, please). as for the little things, i hope i can fix my back problems, i hope i can continue to write (even just sekai fics), i hope i can visit south korea for an exo concert, i hope i can attend more concerts, i hope for the little things that will make me happy. i hope nothing more but a healthy and bounty new year and decade for me, my family, my relatives, and my friends, especially to those who cared. i will also include the people who need it the most, and this country as well, because i just can’t stand seeing people have less while some have more. anyway, cheers.

[a-halfblood-named-coin]

I hate angst, I really do. It’s the stuff that makes me want to crawl out of my skin and stop reading. I have awful second hand embarrassment, I will skip scenes that are too awkward and pause movies when someone says a line that i know will kick off a fight. I’m telling you this who you know I don’t deal with negetive/uncomfortable emotions very well, even if they aren’t mine. This whole problem I have is the main reason why thinking back on 1d days makes me feel so squirmy and uncomfy. I regard those times with a lot of happiness. I was very passionate about my first ever boy band and I loved that time dearly. The concerts, the content, the jokes. It’s one of the best times in my memories. But..now that I’m older obviously I’ve come to accept that it want all great behind the scenes. And imagining the boys going through such rough shit...taints that time a lot for me. And it SUCKS because when I miss the band and them and I wanna go back and relive the good ol days all I can think about is “what don’t I know?” “Were they faking that?” “What’s real?” People rag on directioners for always questioning shit but at this point I am unsure of everything surronding 1d and that sucks. Sometimes I want to listen Their old stuff and be carefree but....it’s a lot harder than it used to be

[popmusic101]

Flashback: Live While We’re Young - One Direction

9th October 2017

Well, well, well, turns out Post Malone did manage to hold onto the #1 spot. Just as I predicted (please don’t go back and read my definitely ‘correct’ prediction, just take my word for it). Nice. Good on him - I’m still digging the song and I guess this means other people are too.

So this of course means we’ll FLASH!! BACK!! five years to 2012 - when the #1 song in the country was... yup - those One Direction boys...

I knew this day would come. The day when I would be forced to find words to write about 1D. Nah, that’s not even true. I’ve been looking forward to it. Even though I couldn’t care less about their music, I still find them kinda fascinating as a phenomenon. I haven’t been following too closely recently though. Are they even still a band or did they fall apart after Zayn up and quit? I know they’re all doing solo stuff now and I was actually wondering which former One Directioner would be the first to get a #1 song since I’ve started doing this. As usual I’m too lazy to actually do any research to check if any of them have already achieved this feat. Maybe Zayn if I had to guess? I feel like Harry miiight have got close, but not #1, and frankly I can’t see any of the other three even getting close. *sigh* FINE - I’ll do a cursory check of Wikipedia since I’m sure you’re all dying to know.

Okay: answers. They’re currently on hiatus. Zayn has officially ‘Bye Felicia’d’. Zayn got #1 with ‘Pillow Talk’ back in February. The others have all had singles within the top twenty. That’s surprising that they’ve all done so well, but don’t underestimate 1D fans I guess.

So... One Direction. What is there to say? I’m definitely not their target audience and I don’t have any particularly strong feelings about them (apart from thinking that Louis looks kinda creepy). Despite not paying them much attention I still somehow seem to have learned all their names through osmosis or something though, and I could probably sing along to at least the choruses of one or two of their songs if I heard them on the radio. Yet if you asked me right this second to name one of their songs I don’t know that I could. I feel like previous boy bands from the 90s at least had one or two memorable songs that are strongly associated with the band. Backstreet Boys had ‘Backstreet’s Back’; NSYNC had ‘Bye Bye Bye’; Westlife had ‘Flying Without Wings’; Blue had ‘All Rise’; and Five had... well... they had that “Five will make you get down” song (okay, so I guess I didn’t fully remember that one). But with 1D I really can’t think of a single one of their songs off the top of my head. To be fair though that my be a result of growing up in the 90s when those bands would have made the strongest impression on me (and I should add that if, like me, you were a 90s child and want to relive some gloriously cheesy 90s music videos you should definitely click each and every one of the above links). I’m sure kids today could probably name One Direction songs even if I can’t - I’m just not convinced that they will have left much of a mark on music when we look back in say, twenty years time. What will be the One Direction song that’s best-remembered then? Then again, having said that, who even remembered Five before now? Probably not even the members of Five.

Who?

Anyway: onto the song that I don’t remember anything about.

So, yeah. I don’t even remember any of the lyrics to this - I guess this one passed me by. But basically (for those of you playing at home), the 1D boys have gone camping in some sort of giant luxury tent and now they want to “go crazy, crazy, crazy til [they] see the sun” - said ‘craziness’ includes doing things like swinging on a rope swing (woah! crazy!); four wheel driving (are they insane?!); and zorbing (I can’t even handle the crazy levels right now!).

To be entirely honest, the only crazy thing about all of this is that the sun is out while they are ostensibly doing all these crazy things... I’m not sure if they just can’t see it or whether they’re so focused on being ‘crazy, crazy, crazy’ that they missed it, but it’s definitely out and shining, and so could they just stop please.

Do you think any of them look back on this and feel embarrassed now that they’re five years older and trying to be present a more adult vibe with their solo songs? I sure as hell did some embarrassing things when I was a teenager, but luckily for me no one filmed it and put it on YouTube. Then again, I also didn’t earn millions of dollars as a teen, so jokes on me I guess.

I mean, that’s embarrassing, right? For everyone involved - including the viewer. Or is it just me?

Well, my impression is that the only (and I mean only) reason that this went to #1 is because of who sings it. It’s an entirely forgettable, derivative song, but boy bands always do big business and so... there you have it.

I’m certain this won’t be the last time I cover One Direction on this blog and truthfully I’m genuinely interested to see how their careers progress as they attempt to make it as solo artists. It’ll be especially interesting to see what happens with each of them in another couple of years time, particularly because in the past typically only one previous boy band member makes it big as a solo artist (J.T. and Robbie Williams probably being the most noticeable examples). But, as of now at least, all five 1D boys have done relatively well with their solo work. It’s still early days though and I’ll be curious to see whether that fanbase continues supporting all of them or whether in ten years time we can only remember one of their names.

I for one (direction! har har... geddit?) would be delighted if Harry grows up to be a modern-day Mick Jagger though!

[bilingualplots]

That concert crazy me!

Well, short-long story. I am a huge and mega fan of one direction but actually I fond of Harry the most. The curly, green eyed member. I’ve been the fan from a long ago. I had been their concert once, when they came to did some tour on my country. I was crazy as hell and excited for that. That time, I was a freshman year of college and it was hell, sleepless and tiring period especially when you join in medical department. No time to play, going around even in a weekend sometimes you have lectures and have to do some shits. So it challenged me to go to that concert. I didnt know my schedule when the concert held. But I bought the tickets anyway. I got the vip tickets well I bought it from my own money. No, I didnt work or earn money I mean I dont have time to do that. That money was from scholarships I got. I spent the whole money for the concert without even thinking. I was so glad I didnt spent the money yet cause before I knew that One Direction would held a concert, I was planning to buy some woman things to spend that money.

My senior high school friend who also adore One Direction, asked me to go to the concert together. I agreed of course cause the concert didnt held on my city its miles away from the city I lived but still It didnt down me at all.

So I gave it all to my friend. Nadya–well but I call her Lia. She bought the tickets, I just needed to transferred the money to her. And yup. We got the freaking tickets. Yeay!

Days after days went. And it was a couple days from the day of the concert. And guess what, a day before the concert I was going to have a test. Practice test. Shit man. I was crazy I even wanted to cry but I decided to stay cool. The test’s day began, I finished the test and felt good cause the test went well. It was over around four or five in the evening and guess what again? my plane fly at six and I hadn’t even packed my things. I just had one shirt in my mind, the shirt that written “Harry Styles’s wife” that I was going to wear for the concert.

After doing the test, my lecturer suprised me by saying she wanted to say something so we have to wait her. And the clock was never stop and it taunt me in every seconds it ticked. My friend, Lia had been calling me all the time and all I could do was just make her calm her tits.

My lecturer was so long and I just couldn’t stand it. So I decided to just go and didnt mind it. I was just guessing that she wont even checked the list of attendance. I drove the car so fast to my home and pick my things. It felt so relived when I arrived at home and find my mom help me to packed my things.

My dad drove me to the airport and when I was on my way, my classmate called me. I pick the call and she sounded like she was wispering. My heart beaten so fast when she said that the lecturer was calling us one by one and check the list of attendance. I was freak out cause I didnt want my lecturer missunderstood and think that I dont attend the test. But what can I do. I was on my way to airport and my plane was flying in half hour.

When I arrived at airport I was acting crazy and run to my senior high school friend. My mom and hers doing the mom’s thing. Kissing cheeks, hugging in mother way and all.

We said good by to our mothers and passed the gates, my phone was ringing and I pick it up found massage from my classmate said that the lecturer had stopped calling the students name right before my names turn. Maybe two couple of name left until my name called but she decided to just stop and say that she believed all the students attended the class. And bye that, I thanked God. It was like God indeed had planned that I was allowed to go to the concert and meet my idola.

I and Lia, we both arrived around 8 night or 9 I’m not so sure, and we got picked by my other friend who also wanted to go to the concert. Her name was Mia. She lived in Bandung cause she studied there and what another lucky I got was Mia’s mom treated us by booked two rooms in a hotel near GBK (the place that held the concert) and not only rooms, she also sent someone to guide us around the city with car, so we didnt have to use public transportation and all, pluss I could save my money.

We checked in and going to the room directly. My friend Mia thought that Lia wanted to bring her friend so Mia booked two rooms but Lia’s friend cancelled and sold the ticket to stranger.

Three of us stayed in the same room cause Mia was scared to stay alone in the other room. And yes that one room was useless. At midnight we decided to order food, we chose Bonchon but ended up ordered KFC cause Bochon didnt pick the call, I assumed it was already close.

The delivered man was so long and we ended up sleeping until he arrived and I didnt realize the delivered man already standing in front of our room for maybe hours. I’m not sure how long. I took the money and handed it to him. Said sorry multiple times for making him wait for too long. We didnt forget to give more tips for the mistake we made.

We ended up ate the food maybe at 2 or 3 in the morning and go back to sleep with leftovers which I ate at 6 in the morning and went back to sleep again. I know you felt disgust but I dont care. I’m still alive any way.

We wake up at almost 10 in the morning and rushed to lobby to take our breakfast. Cause it was closed if it was up 10 morning.

After that, we decided to get ready. We went to change the voucher to the real ticket. When we arrived at ticket changer, we saw so much people I mean really much people who queued to change tickets like us. We were like going to die standing in a very long line, stress out until securty came and asked us to show our voucher. Lia took it from her bag and that security told us that vip gate wasnt where we stand. He took Lia to the other gates and went through and disappeared. I and Mia waited outside cause it wasnt allowed us to come, the three ticket was named by Lia and her guess so she had to take it by her self.

I took a seat with Mia and not to long after sitting, Lia came from that gates with big smile and tickets along with the handband in her hand. Gosh! I couldn’t believe I was on my way to see my Idola. The Idola that I only see through the glass of television, laptop or phone. And in some hours later, I was going to meet him and inhale the same air with them.

Dont tell me that Im so naiff or Lame cause I’m not. You dont know how it feels when you finally got to meet the people who gave you so much changed. In a better way. I mean, without fangirling 1D I would probably doesnt speak or write english things like now, like this, or I couldn’t knew or have friends abroad or anything else. This fangirling made me alive. So just shut the hell up and dont judge me.

The concert would be held on 7 evening and it was like 12 afternoon when we had done change the voucher into real freaking tickets. So we decided to go to mall cause Mia need to buy some clothes. We arrived to the Mall, I foget what Mall and going to Zara. Mia and Nadya bought shirt, well Mia bought bunch of clothes and a couple of pants and if I’m not mistaken she bought a couple of shoes too. In Zara I met some famous people who always showed in local tv. Such a Najwa, the owner of Mata Najwa show or some of Ftv actor, I was not sure who, cause I didnt pay attention to them. It was just Lia who said that.

After that, Mia still went through the shop find something else to buy. I didnt know what it is. So me and Lia decided to just go around the mall, we stopped to buy some ice cream and at CD shop. I bought two cd of one direction and some books of it while Lia was busy to take pictures from the architecture of the Mall and all. Yes, she is that girl who are great with pencil, pen and all, drawing and made house in a paper. Architecture people said.

After that we went back to hotel, we decided to have lunch, wanted to have delivery again but Lia againts it so we went to the restaurant near the hotel and had some yakiniku. After that we went back to the hotel and had some rest until we wake up in the evening maybe it seven and it was so late, so we prepared as fast as possible.

We ended up arrive at 8 night with clearer way to the gates. Cause people is already in the stadium. I know. We were late. It was sucks!

Then, we ran before that I bought some bandana with a light in it and some small posters. We went to the gates. I bought mineral waters which was so expensive but I didnt mind at all cause I was thirsty and It was impossible to go out for just a bottle of mineral water.

We went through the door the vip seat and saw tons of people. I didnt see any seat at all so we went out and take the other door. I saw the yellow area and already knew it was Vvip seat cause I saw some famous people there too, like actor and singers of my country. we got exactly three seat right besode the vvip area and it was so good for view. We got another lucky again.

Another of another lucky we got was the stars hadnt come out yet. The stage still play some song from 5Sos and play the commercials tour of 1D itself. We didnt late.

And time flies I grew crazy on my head. Shit. I cant stand my self I was so nervous, they always played us by act like the stars was going out but actually no. And it was getting crazier when we saw Niall run across and went back to the backstage. There was so much noise and loud that made me goosebumps. Until that time, that time i couldn’t forget until now. That time when I cried, shit dont judge me for being so exaggerated cause I did admit that I had this fascinated and butterflies feeling.

One direction came out, with the intro of Clouds. I was screaming like crazy until some bodyguards who suited like army looked at me like seriously girl?! But I didnt care at all.

I jumped and scream along the song and all very time Harry great in my way I scream again and said that, those greating were belong to me like he looked at me directly. I didnt even put single care when some girls gave disgusted look. I just enjoyed the show.

All I did was cry and scream along to the song and thats all, I didint even care to record cause I was just to happy and need to enjoy the music and show. Lia was screaming like me, but she scream for Liam and I scream for Harry. Then Mia was so crazy with Zayn but yes, Zayn didnt come up to the show. But still she loves 1D maybe Niall, I think.

We sang along didnt mind our bag which were in the seat, possibly could be stolen anytime but I didnt care. All my focus went on the staege, I couldnt even wanted to blink. Gosh! That was so amazing, I could feel my heart beating so hard right now writing this thing.

After that, I couldn’t tell you the details of the concert cause it will need the whole day to write it. All you have to know is directioner are crazy, I never stop to get goosebumps cause the crowd never stop to sing along the star on the stage. Even Liam and Niall admitted our noises was so loud than other. Aside from that, all I could feel was joy, happiness, exited, crazy, amazed and some kind of that been mixed make my body turn, my eyes burned from crying. Happy crying.

We went back at 12 night and directly to the airport cause my plane flight on 1.45. We arrived at maybe 1. I both with Lia said goodbye to Mia, shared hugs and kisses then left. We waited for 45 minutes. When I was waiting I was so tired from the jumping and screaming so I decided to lay down at the chair, didnt care about people looked like I was grazy girl who lay to the 3 seats.

I close my eyes but interupted by Lia who screamed like hell. I asked her why and she answered me by saying that Zayn left the group. Officially. I didnt believe her until she showed me the statement on official facebook of 1D it self. I was shocked cause I love Zayn. He’s good and had the highest note from all.

But yup. It didnt bother me that much cause all I loved was about Harry who is still in 1d until now.

We landed on my city right about 5.30 morning. I was rushed cause I had to go to school 7 cause there this assistant of lecturer who was scared and I just couldn’t be late. My father picked me and I couldn’t go because I didnt want to left Lia alone. Until her father come up so I went back home asked my dad to rush.

Arrived at home I run to my room and had a fastes bath of my life. Rush to the school. I was so glad I didnt late and some of my friend was late. They were shocked saw me sitting on my chair. I mean, last night was the best night I’ve ever spent and here I was going school and all.

Yes that was amazing. I know.

Oh yeah. Not forget another crazier that happened. Lia, my friend was having final test at the exact day of the concert. And no one expect what she did, that was.. she asked her friend to pretend to be her and doing her test.

Yah that was crazier than me. But she ended up passed the final test well.