#putting out albums like they were in 1d

[aquarri]

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[watermelonsugacry]

You know this thing that Taylor does where she sings a surprise song at every show? but in this case it's her own song, what if yn did the same thing but with songs by other artists

Just A Girl

A/N: this is honestly just a 1d!YN appreciation post

SINCE 2010 masterlist

It’s officially her thing to sing a new cover song for each of her shows! 

Sometimes it's a One Direction song, an unreleased song, or just a song from an artist she liked. 

Every one of her old band mates’ has an unofficial claim to a cover they do/did on their solo tours: Harry’s is The Chain, Louis’s is 505...

But if there was one cover that’s her cover, it’s “Just A Girl” by No Doubt.

To introduce the song, she’d make a little joke about reminding the audience that even though she’s dancing and prancing around the stage, that doesn’t give them an excuse to look at her chest as she does so. She’d even pinch the top of her corset top—an outfit to pay homage to the cover art of her third album—and tug it up with a cheeky shake of her chest...all before openly pushing up her breasts from underneath. 

She’d wink at a fan in the crowd before letting out an innocent, “What?” at the fans’ excited response. She’d put a satin gloved hand over her chest, pushing a shoulder to touch her ear and shyly say, “m’just a girl after all.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, a smirk spreads across her lips when the sold-out stadium of fans go into a frantic frenzy when they hear the iconic beginning guitar of the song. She makes a slow spin on her heel to walk to her band behind her, looking off to the side where her husband stands with a proud smile in the wings.

This song perfectly encapsulates YN’s upbringing in the music industry: her frustration of being treated lower than her co-workers, band mates—any male just because she’s of the opposite sex. 

In a way, it's her Kiwi: a song she can complete and utterly go crazy with. It’s Harry’s turn to sit back and admire the way his spouse can draw in an audience with her stage presence and charisma. 

'Cause I'm just a girl, oh, little old me

Well, don't let me out of your sight

Oh, I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite

So don't let me have any rights

For a long time, she’d listen to this song and view it as a cry for help, a way to express herself in the best way she knows how—through music.

This is one of the few songs that YN likes to bring back a couple of times as her surprise cover song—it even showed up once or twice at her last world tour. With that being said, a couple thousand fans were lucky enough to say that they were a part of the few shows where she performed it. 

And on the opposite end, it’s her favorite cover to sing. Especially since she likes to get a bit theatrical with it. 

They love to see after she finishes the line, “Oh, I've had it up to here...” YN cheekily bends over, a flattened hand comes up to her forehead to mimic the way someone would physically show their annoyance level. She bites down on her lower lip, bobbing her head to the beat of the music as she walks backwards across the stage. 

Or when she dramatically bats her lashes or cheekily drops her jaw in faux offense. Or as she jumps about the stage, hyping up the sea of fans with her stage presence. 

She’d be at the end of the massive heart-shaped catwalk, clasping her hands together in front of her after bouncing around the stage, slyly singing, “I'm just a girl.” She twists the tip of her heel into the stage as she pouts. “I'm just a girl in the world. That's all that you'll let me be!” 

And the crowd lives for when she feverishly pumps her arms in front of her, dropping down to her knees as she sings, “What I’ve succumbed to is making me numb!” Her mane of curly hair bounces back and forth, following her movements. 

The audience is split between standing as still as they can to record the iconic performance while others join YN by jumping up and down, dancing crazily, and being completely enveloped in the moment. 

YN mentioned in an interview once how much she feeds off the energy her fans bring to the shows. Similarly to her husband’s tour, the audiences have created a safe space for her to be herself on stage. There’s no sense of judgment and everyone can enjoy themselves freely—whether that be dancing like nobody's watching, standing there with their eyes closed to feel the music, or following the dress decorum of wearing corsets and long opera gloves, everyone is welcomed with open arms.

By the end of it all, she’s a bit out of breath and her hairline glistens with sweat. She stands at the end of her catwalk and looks out to the sea of fans, raised hands and lights. 

In a moment of overwhelming gratitude, she tugs off her in-ears and takes a moment to fully hear thousands chant her name in unison. She huffs out a knee-buckling smile and it only makes the fans scream louder. 

YN had mentioned to Harry a few times already about how the feeling of appreciation and love for her fans can get a bit overwhelming. Sometimes it hits her like a bus—strong, impactful, and head-on. If she could, she would hug each and everyone of her fans. She would take the time to tell every person individually how much they mean to her.

Even in the midst of the deafening sound, she lets out a chuckle when she can hear the loud whistle piercing its way from the wings. 

Never in a million years would she ever think that she’d be here, standing on stage, performing at sold out stadiums almost every night, doing what she loves. 

With that, she blinks away the on-coming watery eyes and puts her in-ears back in. 

“Alright, London. Let’s continue this dance party,” she’d say before the familiar beats on Nonsense sounds through the stadium. 

Yeah, she’s definitely meant to be here. 

[lemoncrushh]

Best Friends

Summary: You and Harry are best friends, but he would love for it be more.

Warnings: None, just fluff

Word Count: 1628

A/N: A cute best friends blurb from 2016. This blurb is a little bit different. It's still written for the reader, but it's in Harry's POV like he's telling you about you and him. It's 1D Harry, but you are roommates (not sure why I did that, it might have been a request lol). Louis, Niall, Liam and Cheryl appear in this one too.

"Y/N!" you heard me call from the kitchen.

"Yeah babe?" you yelled from your bedroom.

"What do you want for dinner?"

You slipped into your shorts and t-shirt, not bothering to put on a bra. You'd been living with me for years, and we were best friends. There was no reason for you to be modest around me. You walked into the kitchen, lightly drying your hair with a towel.

"What have we got?" you asked, my head behind the freezer door.

I stepped back, nearly knocking myself in the head as I looked at you. Jesus, you were beautiful. You were never really one to be high maintenance, but on the daily you always tried to look your best. If we ran into each other in the mornings before you left for work, I always told you how gorgeous you looked. You would smile and say, "thanks babe," giving me a kiss on the cheek. If I took you out with me to a dinner party or some other industry function, you'd look so amazing it would take my breath away. But this...this was my favourite. When you were freshly clean from the shower, your running shorts or a pair of sweats on, no makeup, your hair damp. You were absolutely stunning, and to be honest, I had a hard time not staring.

"Um..." I swallowed, "not much."

You shrugged. "Anything's fine with me. We can order pizza if you want."

Not waiting for a response, you walked back to the bathroom to hang your towel on the rod. Then returning to the living room, you plopped down on the sofa, grabbing the remote control. I watched you as I ordered pizza from my phone, then placed it on the counter.

"How was your day?" you asked me. You flipped through the channels before landing on Friends.

"It was okay," I shrugged, walking over to sit next to you.

"Just okay?" you raised a brow.

"Well, you know. Writing, studio time."

"Is the album coming along?" you inquired, adjusting yourself on the sofa so that you faced me, your elbow resting on the back. I adored the little things like that. They showed me you cared about me, and weren't just making small talk out of obligation.

"Yeah," I nodded with a grin. "It's coming along great. We have six tracks recorded now."

"Eeek!" you squealed, clapping your hands. "I can't wait to hear them! You will let your dear BFF hear them first, won't you?"

I chuckled. "Of course."

You smiled, reaching for my hand to squeeze. "I'm so excited, Harry!"

"Me too," I beamed. I couldn't help it. When you looked at me that way, my heart wanted to beat out of my chest.

We sat and watched Friends together, laughing at Phoebe getting hummus on her dress and Joey walking in with all of Chandler's clothes on. The pizza arrived and we ate it in front of the television. We ended up opening a bottle of wine, enjoying it with good conversation well into the evening. I loved watching your cheeks get pink from the alcohol, your eyelids slightly heavy. I wanted so badly to kiss you, but I knew you didn't feel that way about me. So just like every other night, I pushed the urge aside and continued with our friendly banter.

Finally around midnight, you rose from the couch to take our glasses to the kitchen. I sat back on the sofa, resting my eyes and silently wishing you'd either suddenly feel the same about me, or my own feelings would dissipate. I could hear your footsteps as you returned to the living room, stopping in front of me.

"I'm going to bed now, babe. I'm exhausted."

My eyes fluttered open to look at you, an easy grin spreading across my face.

"Okay, love," I sat up. "Goodnight."

"Night," you murmured, leaning over to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll go shopping tomorrow for the dinner party."

"Oh. Right." I'd almost forgotten. Tomorrow the boys were coming for dinner and you were planning to cook.

"I love you," you declared.

"I love you, too."

Giving me a soft smile, you turned and headed toward your bedroom. With a deep sigh, I leaned back against the sofa again. If only you knew how much I loved you. If only...

Our dining room was noisy and smelled like a mix of garlic and cologne, which to some might sound questionable, but as for me, I wouldn't have had it any other way. You'd made the most delicious meal I'd ever tasted, and once again you'd proven to be the perfect host.

"Shall I get dessert?" you asked, starting to rise from the table.

"I'll help," offered Liam's girlfriend, Cheryl.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, standing up. "I need to make a toast."

You raised your brows in question, sitting back down and taking your glass.

"To..." I hesitated. "To best friends, best food, and best company."

"Hear hear!" everyone said in unison. I heard the sound of glasses clinking together as I turned to look at you.

"Thank you, Y/N," I grinned. "You're amazing."

You gave me your million watt smile, bringing your glass to your lips. I watched you take a drink before sipping my own.

"I'll get the dessert," you said softly, your eyes still on me.

As soon as you'd left the room, I ran my hand down my face with a groan.

"What's wrong, mate?" asked Niall.

"Nothing," I shook my head.

Louis scoffed, shaking his head.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes.

"It's so obvious, Harry," he remarked.

"What is?"

"That you're in love with her."

"Y/N?" Niall turned to me, his eyes wide. "Ya are?"

"He has been from day one," said Louis.

"I have not," I argued, my stomach suddenly in knots.

"Does she know?" Liam piped in.

"No," I shook my head. "She doesn't have a fucking clue."

"So ya are," Niall nodded.

I glared at him.

"Ya gonna tell her?"

"I can't," I dropped my head. "She seems so happy with the way things are. I don't wanna mess it up."

"Mess what up?" Cheryl asked when she walked through the doorway from the kitchen, three dishes of dessert in her hands. She placed two of them in front of Louis and Liam and sat down with her own.

"Harry's in love with Y/N," muttered Liam.

"Shhh," I put my finger to my lips.

"You are?" Cheryl's eyes widened.

"Am I the only one who picked up on this?" Louis threw up his hands.

"Yes, okay?" I whisper-shouted. "I'm in love with her. I've been in love with her for a long time."

Louis nodded, just as you emerged from the kitchen. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I prayed you hadn't overheard our conversation.

"Here you go!" you sang, placing dishes in front of Niall and me.

I looked up at you while you sat beside me, digging your fork into your dessert. I reckoned you could feel my gaze so you side-eyed me, giving me a smirk.

"What?" you asked.

I shook my head, dismissing the moment and biting into my own dessert.

After everyone had said their goodbyes and we saw them out the door with a gracious thank you, I followed you into the kitchen, offering to help you with dishes. We worked together in silence, my heart racing and my brain on overdrive. I didn't know if you'd heard my confession, but it was nearly killing me that you were being so quiet which was unlike you.

Finally, putting the last dish in the washer and shutting it, you turned to me.

"I heard you," you muttered.

"What?" I stopped. My initial reaction was to question it, because surely I misunderstood you.

"I heard what you said. What you told Cheryl and the boys."

I lowered my gaze to the countertop, my finger tracing a nonexistent pattern.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked.

"I didn't want to embarrass or humiliate you," you replied.

"How...how would you have humiliated me?"

"Harry..."

I lifted my head to look at you. What I already knew was staring me in the face.

"You don't feel the same," I stated.

You were silent for a moment until you shook your head. "It's not that. It's just...I had no idea you felt that way about me. I thought all this was harmless flirting and friendship stuff. It's...it's kinda weird, you know?"

I blinked, nodding my head. You stepped closer to me, reaching for my hand.

"I love you," you declared. "I care about you. I don't want any awkwardness between us."

"I get that," I agreed.

You lifted your other hand to touch my cheek.

"You're so amazing," you added. "And if..."

I covered your hand with mine, looking into your eyes.

"If what?"

You swallowed hard. "If I let my guard down...I could easily fall in love with you."

I felt my lips stretch into a smile as you did the same. Then leaning forward, you lightly brushed your lips against mine, kissing the corner of my mouth. I knew you were still hesitant, so I didn't push further.

"One step at a time," you said, echoing my thoughts, though it was almost a question.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm going to bed," you whispered. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight."

I watched you once again as you walked away towards your bedroom. So, the cat was out of the bag as they say. You knew the truth. You hadn't reciprocated my feelings, but at least you hadn't shut them down either. I had hope. And I planned on holding onto it for a while.

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[savebylou]

Recap Simon Cowell's new interview about 1D.

Hi everyone so I decided to do a combination of recap/transcription of what Simon said about One Direction on The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett.

TLDR: His only regret was to not own the name of One Direction to make things like animations or make them tour without all the members, according to him there hasn't been a great group after 1D. He advice to the 1D boys was to be themselves, to be involved in their music, to not get a stylist, to not dance etc. He said that in his new show the group that is form will not get a record deal they have to be good enough to get one after the show and part of the new deal will be that he owns the name.

If you want to see the videos are in this post. Below I have the recap for anyone who wants a more detail info of what he said without the need to watch Simon's face, I still link the videos for each part.

So the poodcast is 2hrs and 14 min long. They basically talk about Simon and how he got were he was, his family, son etc. The last 30 min aprox is what I would expand more, whoever I want to point out two aspects that stand out for me in the history of him:

He doesn't know the process to make a record, he never goes to a studio and see the process, doesn,'t know what is first etc. He says he doesn't want to and he doesn't want to pretend to know anything, he just wants to listen to the album after and form an opinion.

He wanted a producer Peter Waterman to make a record for his artist ( Sinitta who previously Simon have a hit with her the first time) this producer got very famous and have a lot of work so he didn't accept to work with Simon. So Simon went to the studio every day and make tea and sit in the studio, after a year and a half Pete ask him why is he always there and Simon said he was trying to learn how he does it, how he works (to me sounded kind of stalker vibes) and said that he wants that one day he writes Sinitta next record. A few months later the producer at the end call him with a record for his artist and was Toy Boy and he knew it would be a hit internationally, it hit no. 4 in the UK and was famous in Europe.

1D creation, paparazzi & privacy.

For Simon it was quite obvious once the boys were form they were gonna be really successful with the right records, for him they were the perfect group. I: "I think the most successful artist you've ever develop? S: "Gosh ah, I actually I don't know the answer to that". I: Really? S: No, I mean I know they were really successful they sold a lot of records...[whispers] and they made a lot of money.

He adviced them to not complain about paparazzis: "Don't ever complaint about paparazzi because they are gonna take your pictures, don't complaint about invasion of privacy because people were always want to a picture taken with you. Don't complain about the long hours because they're going to be long hours, so none of this if any of this is a problem just do something else". That is what it comes with the territory and it's worth it.

Not a good group after 1D & his show.

For Simon being in a band is more fun that being a solo artist and it's a brilliant way to get notice like they've all become, being in a band was the catalyst for that.

He is making a new show because right now for him" I don't think a band who has been as good as One Direction since One Direction in my opinion'. Now they are more solo artist than bands in the pop music and the only way he knows to put a band together is with auditions. For his show they are gonna document the whole process since the beginning of the idea, the selection the contestants etc. "There is not safety blanket on this in terms of I haven't gone to a record label and go and said right I'm doing this would it you guarantee a record deal, l got to hope the band are good enough to get a record deal."

Secret sauce of 1D, problem of making bands and his "advice" to 1D The interview ask him what is the secret souce for boybands. Simon says people, personality, that is the one thing about 1D they all have great personalities and they were interesting people. The first time he saw them again after the band was form was in Spain and they were walking at the beach and everyone were looking at them as they were already stars even if nobody knew them, there was this glow about them.

He had hits with bands and missing with bands he was 1% off or 80% off. He just gotta hope he gets lucky and find the right people. He is selling an act to somebody he is not, the fans are going to be primarly teenegers, he have to guess what the audience is going to like. Recently when he sees bands for for the minute they are on stage he knows is wrong, someone told him what to wear, they are rehearsed, nothing is spontaneous "and I'm thinking what is that person whoever is behind the scenes, why can't let them just be themselves?"🙄.

He said to the 1D boys: "Do whay you like and that was sort of it, I just said look when you got a problem you come to me. Is really down to you to make this work. You gotta love the records you make, you gotta influence the records you make, you can't dance so don't try and dance, don't ever hire a stylist because you already have great taste, and just be yourselves and really really have fun."

Harry's success & famous UK artists.

Would he predicted his success? He never guess he was going to be one of the biggest stars in the world, no one would have thought that. He thought Harry was charismatic, fun and the audience like him. The boys use that vehicle of 1D to go where they wanted to go, he doesn't know if Harry will be Harry without 1D no one could tell that, but being in a band help him.

This make him thought that "the amount of UK artists that broken globally in the last say 7 years has fallen off a cliff, literally if you think about how many global artist British had broken globally in the last 7 years is possible 3? Which is crazy.

I: I can' think of 3. S: [says with his lips "nor can I] [Both laugh].

Only regret, tour & new deal with new group

"Again when I was talking to One Direction I remember saying to them our goal is for to you to have enough hits that if you ever reform that you could do stadiums tours. That means you gotta have 10 hit singles because that's what people wanna hear, they want to hear the hits, and you know if they ever did reform that's exactly what would happened". He doubts that the 1D boys will get back together.

The interviewer mentions that Spice Girls got together many years later, then Simon talks about his only regret , without anyone asking him about this by the way [For a fragment of the next part I will use the color purple for Simon dialogue and color green for the interviewer dialogue]:

S: "The one thing I regret is I should have keep the name" I: "Oh you should have owned the name?"S: I should have owned the name. I: You didn't own the name? S: No. I: Who owns the name? S: They do. I: Oh okay. S: That's the problem I could have made an animation or whatever, but when you give an artist the name it's not yours and that's my ONLY regret, so if your listening [looks at the camera] I will buy it back from you. We'll do it as a partnership [points to interviewer with both hands] -S: "But that is the ONLY thing I do regret because if one of the band members for whatever reason said they don't want do tour it can stop the others touring so if it was me who own the name it wouldn't be a problem." -I: You can do a tour with 3 of them. As so that's was stopping a tour, because they what..did they own 25%, 20%? -S: "I believe so, yes, I mean I can be very naive at times and that was me being very very naive, so next time that will be part of the deal, I have to own the name, they can still make most of the money but I need to own the name."

Thanks to @wendersfive to help me figure it out what Simon mumble.

Before ending this just wanted to share that besides the many times Simon has try to make groups in his shows, he already made this idea of a show dedicated to create a band. Is not something new.

The transcription I did it with only what I heard and seeing the subtitles on youtube so sorry for anything I could miss or a gramatical mistake.

[paigeloves1dand5sos]

Today 9 years ago on march 25 2015, Zayn left One Direction. He left well 1D was in the middle of On the Road Again Tour, and One Direction continued to do the rest of tour without Zayn. Then the next year on March 25 2016. Zayn released his 1st solo album, Mind Of Mine.

Then One Direction made an album without Zayn called Made In The AM. Which happened to be One Direction’s last album, before 1D announced they were going on a 18 months break. More like 18 million year break 😅. One Direction started making music again, but as solo artist. Which was sad, but exciting at the same time, because 1D promised they would be back in 18 months, and they have an album they haven’t toured yet.

If Zayn never left One Direction, there would be no solo One Direction music, and One Direction would probably be on there 20th new album by now, but the boys were so over worked, because for 5 years they had released a new album every November, and then toured the new album. Which was not normal for most bands or singers. They had other problems too, no control over there schedule, barely any sleep, barely saw there families, had mental health issues and other things.

Zayn must have been over all the things he couldn’t control in his life. That probably was a big reason why he left 1D. Remember when the boys auditioned for The UK X Factor in 2010. The boys originally auditioned as solo artists, but got put together in a band they named One Direction, and the boys were so young when they started out. They didn’t know what to do, and just went along with being in a band, even though they originally planned on being solo artists

[riddles-n-games]

A.M. Analysis-Jameson and Grayson

One great song from 1D’s fifth album is the title song itself, A.M. Although I knew the words before, after entering my TIG era, I related to the song differently. It reminded me of that scene in The Hawthorne Legacy where Grayson and Jameson were in Arizona waiting to meet with Grayson's father. The chorus of the song and second verse resonate most with Jamie and Gray's brotherhood, the overall mood of the scene, their shared reminiscence of childhood nostalgia, and the underlying tension due to their current and past problems.

Chorus Won't you stay 'til the A.M.? All my favorite conversations Always made in the A.M. Cause we don't know what we're saying We're just swimming round in our glasses And talking out of our asses Like we're all gonna make it (yeah, yeah)

The chorus sounds exactly like Grayson questioning what they’re doing when he caught himself smiling (refer to The Hawthorne Legacy bonus POVs). That scene from Jameson’s perspective gave off the feeling that the last time he and Gray actually enjoyed being in each other’s company was quite a while ago. But here, in this hotel room, in the middle of the night, for once, they’ll make do. “An honorary Vegas” as JLB puts it. They talked about random stuff, they made fun of each other, they laughed at themselves, the drinks loosened their tongues and hidden truths came out. As they say, a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. And in the end, only the two of them would know other than Avery.

Second Verse Feels like this could be forever right now Don't wanna sleep cause we're dreaming out loud

This part kind of bleeds into a continuation of the Drink or Dare scene since the lines kind of sound like the endless waiting that the two of them experienced as Sheffield Grayson took forever to come. And then the second line projects this secret inner want to keep holding onto the moment because as Jameson states, they don’t do this, not anymore. Now would be the time to savor this brotherly bonding moment because they would go back to their regular lives right after.

Trying to behave but you know that we never learned, how You and me were raised in the same part of town Got these scars on the same ground Remember how we used to kick around just wasting time?

These last four lines are the perfect summary of Gray and Jamie’s childhood. They were raised by their grandfather, played the same games, learned the same lessons in different ways, got hurt, etc. It sounds a lot like the last part of the chapter when Jameson is admitting in his own way that he still cares about Grayson. At the end of the day, I think that scene just showcases that both of them desperately miss those times but their pride, oh that stubborn Hawthorne, male ego thing called pride won’t let them. But I also believe it gives us the audience the underlying sense that this is a shifting point, that things will change and the future is bright because they aren’t done. Right now they are at a standstill and maybe the ball won’t roll immediately but it will and they will learn to be those brothers again.

Anyways, that's the end of my analysis. Whoo, got something out my longstanding drafts done. Yay. Also, here's a link to the Hawthorne Legacy bonus POVs if you want to read them yourself:

[foxes-that-run]

If I could fly

The TLDR is that If I could fly is about Harry being vulnerable with someone he is separated from by distance which is painful. Harry wrote it in February before the OTRA tour. When asked about it in the Track by Track, (1:52) Harry spoke about the album for 2 minutes, when prompted he covered his body language was closed before saying it 'kind of fell down, it was natural to sing it' then talked about Johan. Thank for sharing your music Harry.

When was it written

Harry wrote it with Johan Carlson and Ross Golan in Los Angeles. Johan said they wrote together several days a week over four weeks leading up to the On the Road Again tour, which started 7 February 2015. Harry wrote with Johan on ‘Just a Little Piece of your heart’, ‘I love you’, Maybe Someday and 'Stockholm Syndrome'. Johan said:

"He's such a good songwriter - it's an honour to write music with him. He's fantastic with the words and he can really put down lyrics that are very conversational and people can relate to. We're just having a good time."

Niall also said Made in the AM was written in January and February, before Zayn left the band in March. He also told Ryan Seacrest the bulk of the album was written before tour and recorded on the road.

Live performances

One Direction never performed it live and Harry hasn't since 2018. Harry included it in his first main setlist throughout 2018. He performed it on the B stage after Sweet Creature. When performing it live Harry paused, shushed the crowd with a finger for up to 2 minutes before saying "it's your turn" for them to sing the last chorus and "I feel it," both of which Harry led on the album.

What the band said about it

To Apple Music Liam said he got emotional listening to "the song Harry wrote", which is likely 'If I Could Fly' because his other writing credits were with 1D and/or 1D writers. Harry deflected answering what it is about but said it was a farewell (to a hoodie they had been joking about). The farewell is interesting to me as the lyrics are ambiguous to me, Harry sings of being apart from his muse, going out of mind and hoping they don’t run from him.

Julian Bunetta said to Rolling Stone:

“I remember when Harry first played it to me. That one I didn’t write, but I remember when I first heard it. We were in Westlake Studio for a week. I kept asking why he wanted to call it ‘If I Could Fly.’ It’s a great song, so it doesn’t really matter what it’s called, does it?”

The title is only in the first line, compared to 'for your eyes only' which is the main line of the chorus. If I could fly is a reference to the paper airplane necklace and Taylors Out Of The Woods "Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying". It also sets the meaning of the song as about someone he's physically apart from rather than the band or fans.

Timeline

27 October - 1989 release, Harry and Taylor seen together again in November and December. (2014 timeline)

10 January - 4 weeks writing with Johan incl. 'If I could Fly'

16 January - The last time Harry and Taylor were seen together before the Exile BBMAs was Lily Aldridge's birthday. (WITW)

1 February - Taylor not at Harry's 21st birthday, in Nashville the next day, maybe broke up (Hunger and Coney Island).

7 February - ORTA tour start, end of writing period.

14 February - Style Music Video released and Two Ghosts written.

27 February - Harry posted the overgrown Winding Wheel.

7 November - Harry Tweeted 'If I could fly' before it was released. He had given Taylor the Airplane necklace on 7 November 2012.

Lyrics

If I could fly I'd be comin' right back home to you

"If I could fly" is not an obvious title for this song, but was important to Harry.

The opening of Taylor’s vault track The Very First Night is “I wish I could fly / I'd pick you up and we'd go back in time”

It is one of Harry's last One Direction songs, he fly's (over an ocean and woods) in the MV his first solo song, Sign of the Times, which works as a through line. Harry said to Jimmy Fallon that he 'would have been happy with a green screen' which sounds like the flying was his idea before he got concepts.

Harry has sung about flying and the distance separating him from his muse many times, especially in One Direction songs. This title and opening lyric are clear the song is about someone Harry is separated from by touring and living internationally:

Fools Gold "You're the shining distraction that makes me fly home"

Half The World Away "Never gonna be the same / 'Cause you're half the world away"

Lay down "Hearts are divided / Now that we’re worlds apart"

Trouble "And you know that i’ll be gone in the morning"

Already home "You don’t have to go, but you’re already leaving" and "From aeroplanes to the bullet trains, summer skies to the pouring rain / All the future plans we will never make, from a beating heart to the farthest place"

Daylight "If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you"

Canyon Moon "I'll be gone too long from you"

Daydreaming "You know I'll be gone for so long / So give me all of your love, give me something to dream about"

Since meeting Harry while writing Red, Taylor has sung about flying in more than 10 songs about him, most closely in The Very First Night: "I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time"

Home is also an important theme in Harry's music, home being with the person rather than a physical place.

I think I might Give up everything, just ask me to

Here, in Maybe Someday and in Taylors 'The Lakes' they have both sung about being together after giving up their careers, Slut! and Gold Rush Also has a similar message.

however on Harry's House in Music for a Sushi Restaurant and As it Was Harry started to say he should be able to have both because 'he's not going to go broke' or 'you know it's not the same.'

Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'Cause I let my guard down Right now I'm completely defenseless

Harry guards his privacy carefully, he has spoke in the Behind the Album that the world knew everything about him in the band and he found he didn't like that. To let someone in is important.

For your eyes only I'll show you my heart For when you're lonely And forget who you are I'm missing half of me When we're apart Now you know me For your eyes only For your eyes only

I really love the phrasing of 'when you're lonely and forget who you are' it beautifully communicates how highly Harry thinks of his muse, but knows they don't see themselves as he does. This is quite similar to

Lay Down: "Two Hearts are divided / Now that we’re worlds apart, They seem so hard to take"

Satellite "I can see you're lonely down there, Don't you know that I am right here?"

Little Freak "I was thinkin' about who you are / Your delicate point of view"

I've got scars Even though they can't always be seen And pain gets hard But now you're here and I don't feel a thing

This verse gets me everytime. Harry is speaking about past trauma, which he also touched on with Rolling Stone discussing his parents separating and wanting to protect his mother, as well as internet criticism. Taylor Swift has a similar story in Seven, and in Cardigan "You drew stars around my scars"

I can feel your heart inside of mine I feel it, I feel it I've been goin' out of my mind I feel it, I feel it Know that I'm just wastin' time And I hope that you don't run from me

To me the outcome for the relationship in the song is ambiguous, as it may have been for Harry. He’s vulnerable, hoping the person doesn’t run from him, but is leaving and thinks he wasting his time. To me this reflects a relationship that’s complex, but clearly special. As we can see with how Harry didn’t want to discuss the song.

This verse reminds me of these lyrics.

Sweet Creature "Two hearts in one home"

Where do broken hearts go "Mind is running in circles of you and me"

Fools Gold "You're the raise on the waves that calm my mind"

[sadaveniren]

Why Louis doesn't like his pop era?I think pop louis is amazing. Although many people consider this as an unpopular and rude comment, but I really didn't like the fitf album, it wasn't my cup of tea. I love Louis pop era, always say I wish he would sing pop again. Am i selfish, Idk.

I don’t think wishing for something makes you selfish. Admitting you don’t like an album he made doesn’t make you selfish. Especially when you aren’t going to concerts and harassing you know?

Now I can only speculate why Louis doesn’t like his pop era, but it could be a variety reasons:

- just because he CAN do pop incredibly well doesn’t mean he enjoys it. Taeyeon from the kpop girl group SNSD comes to mind. SNSD’s biggest song is this really REALLY cute pop song called Gee and she notoriously HATES it. She hates being cute. She hates having to do cute dances. But again, it’s their biggest song so she HAS to perform it.

- it’s not what he feels authentic doing. And he kinda touched on this in his documentary but one of the things Louis struggled with post 1D was how to be authentic. He felt like there was a divide between his authentic self in private and the image he puts out. Maybe making music more authentic to him helps him balance that feeling up to?

- he doesn’t care to perform pop songs. If you’ve listened to some of those leaked songs… he’d 100% have to learn to dance in some capacity to perform them and can any of us imagine Louis learning dance choreography?

- he didn’t like being censored. Remember when he found out they were playing a censored radio edit of BTY? Yeah. If he’d stuck with pop that would have been happened more often

- he got a taste of what his audience would be if he stuck with pop and decided it wasn’t for him. Notice how he hasn’t been on radio Disney or the teen choice awards since veering away from that? Yeah I’m not sure that’s his preferred demographic.

[fallingforel]

Louis and 70 pls 💗💗💗

A/N good morning, afternoon and evening (have to cover all bases because who knows where people may be in the world its evening for me loves 🫶) of course I would be glad to write this for you (sorry it took me so long to get round to it) on with the showww. OH and I'm gonna make you part of 1d in this hehhehe

PROMPT 70:“I don’t want you… I need you.”

Words: 1,094

warnings: mentions of death via car accident, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sick, mentions of sex its a generally fluff piece though so hope you enjoy.

Life was great at the moment, I was living life to the heights I'd never thought I'd get to 3 years ago when I was a little 19 year old who just lost both parents in a car crash to a teenage drunk driver who knew no better than what I did at that age, I performed on the x-factor stage after my mum told me to "chase your dreams sweetheart" getting me to where I am now. In a band with 5 boys we love performing every night recording our albums and I get to do it with my best friends in tow.

"So. If you guys didn't know. One of our band members has a birthday tomorrow, but we're not playing a show tomorrow. So can you make this show extra special for us? Her family couldn't be here tonight, because they're in better places. So can you make her feel superrr loved for us?" Louis asked the crowd that we were performing to in stockholm tonight. They screamed back.

"You know I think I see a sign over there that says Y/n we love you, we can be your family, there's another one that says We love you y/n happy birthday. There's another one that says I love Y/n more than free wifi. Wow Y/n you are getting the love tonight" Louis said making the crowd scream loud at that part.

"I think we should sing Happy Birthday to Y/n don't you think?" Harry asks which earns multiple yeses from the boys and screams erupting from the crowd and a shake of the head from me.

"okay okay. 3, 2, 1"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR Y/N HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"

"I think that's the loudest happy birthday I've ever had. Thank you. Now time for one of our fans favourites this is teenage dirtbag"

⋆｡°✩

Running off the stage on our Very high high.

"LOUIS!!!" "Y/n, Love you did so great" Is all he says before he's pulling me into a very big hug and swooping me up into the air and then finally putting me down and letting go after much protest on his behalf but me saying I can't breathe did the job

"Thank you for that happy birthday. It was honestly the most love I've ever felt from one of our shows." "yeah well it was all for you and you did it. Happy birthday love" "thank you Louis" Is all I say before I'm pulling him into a hug again in which he wraps his arms around my torso and placing chaste kisses on top of my head.

"And you mean to tell me they aren't together?" Niall speaks up from beside Harry where they are both watching Louis and I from the wall just a few feet out of earshot. But I still heard it. "Yes we are very much not together."

⋆｡°✩

Louis and I decided to go out to celebrate my birthday, wanting to bring in my 22nd birthday with me. As I had no-one to have a phone call from so Louis decided to take my mind off of it and go celebrate. The other boys were too tired to celebrate I don't blame them so it was just Louis and I

"Lou it's getting late its like 3, we should probably get back. I'm gonna spew my guts if i drink another drop" "yeah that's probably wise me too, come on then dove" "That's a new one?" "yeah, they represent peace and that's what you've always shown. Even when you found out who hit your parents when you racked up the money, you were so calm, you were the one to apologise when you saw how guilty it felt. If that was my mum in the car I'd be saying all kinds of nasty shit to the driver who killed her. Guess that's what I like about ya, dove" "thanks lou but they also represent innocence and purity and I'm none of those two things am I lou?" "No I suppose your not but you do have a pure soul and I guess that is what matters the most" "alright stop with the spirituality mr donny. and lets get back to the tour bus I'm exhausted"

⋆｡°✩

we get back in and I sit at the kitchen table nursing a whiskey and louis looks at me funny

"what?" "thought you were gonna spew if you drank another drop of alcohol?" "thats different." "how?" "whiskey I can drink slowly, you made me literally DOWN shots" "thats the thing about you that makes me love you Y/n" I just burst out laughing because it wasn't true, the guy I liked had been crushing on ever since 2010 at the first group auditions stage liked me back. "yeah okay" "no I'm being deadly serious" "you're drunk lou. Go to bed" "No, I'm being deadly serious Y/n." "You just want me because your drunk Louis, I'm being serious" "and I'm being serious when I say I want you. Actually no fuck that, I don’t want you… I need you." "Louis you have to mean it because I am not going down that hole of where we mess about like silly fucking teenagers because we're past that point, being teenagers I mean we're fucking adults" "As serious as a heart attack, I love you darling" I jump into his arms where he drowns me into a heavy snog, "Fuck lou. I love you too."

⋆｡°✩

Last night was one of the best nights ever somehow after everything I ended up in Louis' bunk, the reminder of that was Louis kissing my shoulderbone waking me up from my post-sex slumber "Louis, You seen Y/n" Harry shouts from outside Louis' bunk which earns a giggle from me, ultimately making louis clamping his hand over my mouth. "NAH MATE, HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE WE GOT IN LAST NIGHT" I lick his hand that is covering my mouth "DID YOU JUST LICK MY FUCKING HAND!" "Lou who have you got in there?" which makes harry open the bunk, meeting eyes with the both of us "HOLY FUCK. Y/N AND LOUIS FUCKED." which makes the remainder of the boys (excluding louis.) scream from their respectful places on the bus "FINALLY WAS ABOUT FUCKING TIME" and then ultimately zayn says "SHIT NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEM FUCKING LIKE RABBITS"

⋆｡°✩

lets just say that night in stockholm lead to a certain song on four with the same place name, that I wrote.

⋆｡°✩

end.

[harry-on-broadway]

The Last Line: Part One

Part One 

Word Count: 9.4K || Series Masterlist || Rating: M

A/N: I didn’t think I’d be writing another series so soon after TYTM but...this little idea of an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story that I’ve been thinking about for a long time just wouldn’t go away. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. Would love to hear what everyone thinks! 

***

May 12, 2017

Review: Harry Styles Heads In A New Direction

By Penny Sanders

If you know someone, most likely a young woman, between the ages of 13 and 30, chances are you’ve heard of Harry Styles.

Or at least his former band, One Direction.

Styles is one of the five young men that were thrown together by the infamous Simon Cowell to create the best selling boy band of all-time. Over their brief career, One Direction’s discography cast a wide net, attracting fans of all ages. Young tweens and their millennial counterparts were drawn in by the clean-cut look of the lads clad in blazers and bowties and lyrics that felt like they were pulled from a self-insert fanfiction. However, as the years progressed the band added a bit of an edge – tattoos, rumors of an attempted threesome, and lyrics about a loaded gun (read: erect penis). But with 1D in the midst of an indefinite hiatus, all eyes are on Harry, Niall, Liam, and Louis (and Zayn too) to see what comes next.

Styles has answered that question with a 10-song debut that is worlds away from the five albums he put out with his former band. Gone are the bubblegum beats, replaced by alternatively somber and bombastic instrumentals. And forget cheeky “wink-wink nod-nod” lyrics to – gasp! sex! Styles readily admits getting himself off in a hotel room in the album’s closer, “From the Dining Table.”

It’s not a poor offering, but frankly, it’s not great either. While he pushes himself to redefine the sound that has been associated with him for more than five years, the result is a generic LP that will likely be forgotten as soon as one of the industry’s legitimate superstars releases a new single. And, to head off the question I’ve already received from many of Styles’ supporters on Twitter, I can guarantee that you won’t be seeing this album or any of its tracks, mentioned at this year’s Grammy Awards.

One of the bright spots on the album, the lead single “Sign Of The Times,” feels like a grand moment, but it also feels misplaced, almost as if it was a song that should have come a decade into his solo career. Despite poignant lyrics (the song is purportedly about a mother dying in childbirth), Styles’ falsetto needs strengthening and at times he sounds like a young boy trying to imitate his elders. He has talent and shows promise, but isn’t able to pull off a ballad of that caliber yet. Other songs, like “Sweet Creature” and “Two Ghosts” are instantly forgettable, though “Kiwi,” while memorable, is just plain painful to listen to.

Styles is obviously popular, and that alone will be enough to propel him to years of sold-out shows and chart-topping albums. But he needs something else – a secret ingredient if you will –  to launch him to further stardom and cement his name alongside his idols Nicks, Bowie, and Jagger. Otherwise, he’ll be nothing but a midnight memory.

***

September 21, 2017

Review: Harry Styles Rocks The Greek Theatre

By Penny Sanders

Months after the release of his self-titled debut album, Harry Styles found himself at the Greek Theatre, ready to play to a sold out crowd that had likely been waiting for this moment since One Direction’s final performance.

And let me just say, attending a Harry Styles concert is an experience like no other.

The intimate venue was a nice change of pace for Styles who was selling out stadiums in the latter half of One Direction’s tour. He was always seen as the charming one, and the small stage makes that even more apparent, giving him more than enough time to banter with the audience, introduce songs, and connect with his audience. I’m sure many of those in the front of the crowd will tell stories for years to come of the night they made eye contact with the heartthrob.

With just 10 songs of his own, he relied on some One Direction hits and other covers to fill out the setlist. With the exception of “The Chain,” most of the covers sounded nothing like the original version, leading anyone unfamiliar with Styles’ career so far to assume the guitar heavy, rocking versions of the songs – notably “What Makes You Beautiful” and “Story of My Life” – are the standard.

Styles has a charisma like no other, and even though it’s clear it takes him a while to warm up to the crowd, perhaps a symptom of never being alone onstage in his career so far, he’s a born performer who belongs on the stage. But for me, he wasn’t the standout. It was his fans.

The crowd was ready for fun, dressed to the nines, with nearly everyone carrying overflowing bags of merch. They sang along to the songs word perfect and clung to Styles every word, cheering louder than I’ve ever heard when he entered the stage. It was a joyous occasion and had an energy I haven’t seen in any of the concerts I’ve recently attended.

I spoke to a number of women in attendance last night, asking them what drew them to the show. Some cited their One Direction fandom, while others spoke of the sounds of his music, and how it reminded them of other classic songs they love. But for many, Styles himself was the primary reason for being there.

“He makes things really personal,” said Ally, a college student who came from Minneapolis to see the show – her third time seeing Styles this year. “A lot of the other concerts I go to, the artists don’t say anything other than a generic thank you. But Harry makes every show feel special.”

“He feels like a friend,” said Katrina, a local high-schooler. “School’s not always easy and I sometimes struggle with things, but when I listen to his music or go to one of his shows, it feels comforting. Like I’m in a safe place.”

These statements perfectly summarize why Styles’ concerts are so unique.

If he stays true to what his fans want and lets his personality shine on stage, that, in addition to strengthening his songwriting, could be enough to land him alongside his musical icons, and 50 years from now, we’ll see him headlining stadiums on his own, playing a career’s worth of hits as the crowd – full more than just women – sings along.

Longtime readers will remember that I was less than effusive in my review of Styles’s debut, but after seeing him live, I must eat my words and say he’s going places.

***

Transcript from the “Track After Track” podcast, Episode 147: July 21, 2018

Ethan: Speaking of concerts, Penny, you just saw Harry Styles at the Forum, right?

Penny: Yeah, I was there a week ago. Eight days? No a week ago. Sorry it all blends together.

Ethan: I mean, you are at a concert every night, pretty much, so I’ll give you a pass.

Penny: [laughs] You’re so kind. But yes, I was at his show.

Tyler: How was that? I never know what to make of these boy band guys. For every Timberlake, there’s 10 Chris Kirkpatricks.

Penny: It wasn’t terrible. He puts on a good show.

Ethan: Was this your first time seeing him?

Penny: No. I saw him twice when he was in One Direction. And when he was at the Greek.

Tyler: And?

Penny: Like I said, he’s not terrible. It’s clear that his music and personality has resonated with a lot of people, so his shows are filled with fans and have a great energy. Listening to the album on its own is kind of meh…there weren’t a lot of tracks that stuck out as memorable…but live it can be kind of fun. You can tell he loves performing and really feeds off the crowd.

Ethan: Confession: I actually haven’t listened to the album yet.

Penny: That doesn’t surprise me based on the number of EDM CDs in your car.

Ethan: [laughs] Yeah, the genre definitely isn’t my cup of tea, but I think Harry is someone the industry really needs to watch. He’s going to do big things. Well, even bigger since he’s already pretty massive. Tyler, have you listened?

Tyler: Yeah, but I just can’t bring myself to get into it. Like, you just mention his name and you can hear the teen girls screaming off in the distance. I just think it’s a red flag when your fanbase is that narrow. Like if teen girls are your driver, how are you going to succeed? What happens when they’re not 13 and hormonal anymore. You’re not seeing a lot of geriatric boy band fans.

Penny: Wow! Ageism and sexism all in one statement! That has to be a first for you! It’s fine to say you don’t like his music, but to discount it purely on the basis that younger women like it…that’s just plain ignorant.

Tyler: Let’s evaluate this in five years and see where he is.

Penny: Fine, in five years have me back on this podcast and we’ll discuss his Grammy win.

Tyler: You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think Harry Styles will win a Grammy. You need to start thinking with your head and not your – (inaudible)

Penny: Seriously?

Ethan: OK, let’s talk charts…

***

Talking Biz News  

November 8, 2018

Penny Sanders to join media start-up The Moment as Music Reporter

***

Present Day, 2019

“She needs to go back to copyediting and stop fucking up my stories,” Chloe barked, stabbing lettuce onto her fork to match her anger. “She knows nothing about film but is constantly trying to make corrections and I’m just like ‘No?!? That’s not how the fucking industry works.’” She looked across the table at Penny. “Am I crazy?”

“No, you’re not crazy,” Penny said, trying to soothe her friend. “I have the same issue with Darren. He came in thinking he was hot shit because he had been at Rolling Stone and started trying to explain how the charts work as if I haven’t been covering this for years. I can’t tell you how much time I spend undoing his edits before the piece goes to Skylar.”

“Why can’t this newsroom hire a competent editor?” Chloe asked. “It’s not that hard.”

“Probably because no editor wants to work here?”

“Good point!”

Penny and Chloe were eating a late lunch in the courtyard of the complex that housed The Moment, the entertainment publication they both worked for. They’d met three years ago during a summer internship at Variety and forged an alliance after realizing they were the only two women in the program. Penny had wanted to cover music and Chloe was determined to become a film reporter, and they’d been thrilled to finally end up at The Moment together after several years of freelancing and fighting for staff writer roles. Now, they were unstoppable, filing stories daily and dodging pointless notes from their first editors.

“Wait, Penny…didn’t you file your piece on ‘Old Town Road’ today?”

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why? It’s such an interesting story,” Chloe whined. “And I haven’t seen anyone covering it yet.”

“That always makes me nervous.” Penny swirled her spoon through her bowl of soup.

“It shouldn’t. It means you’re ahead of the curve.”

“Or I’ve completely misjudged the story. Maybe it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. Give it a month and everyone will be talking about it.” Chloe paused. “Is Darren taking firsts?”

“Yes.”

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, it’s not looking good for me, Chlo.”

The Moment’s typical reporting and editing process involved a reporter filing a story to one editor, who would do an intensive first edit, fixing the structure of the story, making notes on sections that needed to be added or get cut, and getting the piece 99% ready for publication. The second round of edits was largely focused on fixing grammar and spelling, as well as fact-checking, ahead of publication. Penny typically preferred Skylar, the publication’s editor-in-chief, to take on first edits. While she could be tough, she was smart and kind, and Penny’s stories were always much better after Skylar got her hands on them. When other editors, like Darren, took first edits, Penny knew to prepare herself for days of tears, stress, and questioning her life choices.

“What about you?” Penny asked, wanting to shift the conversation away from her anxiety over her story. “Have things calmed down post-Oscars?”

“Yes. Thankfully.”

Penny knew Chloe loved her job but from late August to early March, she was running from festival to festival, covering awards season. In addition to writing her articles, she, like Penny, found herself taking on media hits as an added responsibility, appearing on morning shows, podcasts, and radio programs to break down entertainment topics for everyday consumers. It was fun and super fulfilling, but it was also exhausting.

“When is Cannes again?”

“May!” Chloe said brightly. “Easily my favorite festival.”

“I have no idea why,” Penny said with a sly grin. “Two weeks on a French beach surrounded by celebrities, eating the most delicious food. It sounds horrid.”

“Oh my God, Penny? What are you doing here?”

Penny and Chloe turned in synchronicity to look at the man who had shouted at them from a table across the path.

“Do we know him?” Chloe asked, mumbling the question through the tentative grin she had plastered on her face.

“I can’t actually see his face,” Penny admitted, squinting trying to gain a better view.

“This is why you need to wear your glasses,” Chloe hissed.

“Of all the food courts in Los Angeles,” the man continued as he walked over to them.

“Wait…Tom? Is that you?”

“It is! How have you been?” He opened his arms and pulled Penny into him. She wrapped her own arms around him.

“So good. I didn’t realize you were out here.”

“I’ve actually been here for a few years now.”

“Shit. Really. I feel so bad that I didn’t reach out,” Penny said apologetically. “And I’m also surprised that my mom didn’t mention you.”

“Eh, it’s not a problem,” he shrugged.

“Care to introduce me?” Chloe asked.

“Ah, yes,” Penny said, composing herself. “Chloe, this is Tom Skoglund. He’s a longtime family friend, although I’m sure that title is being called into question since I didn’t even know he was living here. Tom, this is Chloe. She’s a friend of mine who also works at The Moment.” Penny stepped back to allow Chloe and Tom to shake hands and exchange pleasantries. “Do you want to sit with us?” she asked when they were finished, noting Tom’s sandwich and chips.

“If you don’t mind,” he said. “I’d love to catch up.”

Penny and Chloe sat back down as Tom pulled up a third chair and set his food down. “So you’re still doing the reporter thing?” he asked with a grin. He turned to Chloe. “Penny used to write a newsletter for everyone in the neighborhood. It had news items and opinion pieces all written by her. I seem to remember a glowing review for the second High School Musical soundtrack.”

“It’s full of bangers and you know it,” Penny said with a grin.

Tom turned to Chloe. “Do you also cover music?”

Chloe shook her head. “I’m a film girl.”

“Thoughts on the Oscars?” he asked as he took a bite.

“Anyone who actually pays attention to previous stats knew that Green Book would pull out a win so I wasn’t surprised. I will be curious to see what Netflix does next though. I personally thought The Favourite should have won, but that’s why I’m not a voter.”

“I literally only saw Black Panther and A Star Is Born so I feel like I don’t have room to say anything,” Tom said with a grimace.

“You sound like Penny,” Chloe said with a laugh. “She can tell you the exact week a song hit number one on the Billboard charts, but is frighteningly unaware of the latest movies.”

“I only have so much room for useless facts,” Penny said, earning a kick under the table from Chloe. She turned her attention back to Tom. “What are you doing here? Last I heard my mom said you were working in finance? Is that still the case?”

“God no,” he said lightly. “I had enough of that soul crushing job and decided to head out here to hack it in music. Got an assistant gig and worked my way up to manager.”

“Tom, that’s incredible,” Penny said with genuine excitement. “Who are you with?”

“Full Stop. With Jeff Azoff”

“Wow,” Penny said as Chloe let out a slow whistle. She turned to look at her friend.

“Yes, I know who the Azoffs are,” Chloe said. “And that’s impressive. Congrats, Tom.” Her phone chirped and she looked down at the screen. “Fuck. One of my sources wants to chat. I’ve got to take this.” She looked up at Penny and Tom. “It was so nice to meet you, Tom. Penny, I’ll see you at drinks later?”

Penny nodded and waved as Chloe disappeared across the grass, depositing her empty salad container in the trash. “So Full Stop,” she said, turning back to Tom. “You all have quite the roster.”

“Before you ask, no comment,” Tom said with a grin.

“Tom, I’m disappointed that you’d think I would stoop that low. I have a firm stance on not using friends for work stuff.”

“Well good, because you’d get nothing out of me.” He took a sip of his drink. “Remind me, are you still doing breaking news?” He grimaced. “I know I see your byline frequently, but I don’t always remember which article it comes in front of.”

“No. I moved on from that.” Penny didn’t miss the days of covering the desk at night, ready to pounce on any stories that came across the wire. “I mostly do reviews for concerts and albums now. I’m working my way up to business features, profiles, those types of things.”

“What should I go back and get caught up on?”

“I reviewed Maggie Rogers’ album a couple of weeks ago and wrote a review of Elton John’s show last week.”

“God, doesn’t he put on a great show.”

“One of the best. And I’m working on a feature about TikTok and ‘Old Town Road’ right now.”

“That sounds so interesting. Is it up yet?”

“No. I just filed it to my editor so there is a very good chance that it will never see the light of day. But if it does, I will send it your way.”

“Please. Let me give you my number.”

Penny pulled out her phone and handed it to her old friend. It was a strange feeling knowing that in the heyday of their friendship, they hadn’t needed each other's number, knowing they could always find the other in the cul-de-sac or the school hallways.

“Done.” Tom said, saving his contact information and passing the phone back to Penny, who quickly dashed off a text so he would have her information as well.

“I should probably head back into the office now,” Penny said. “But it was great to see you.”

“You too,” Tom said, standing to hug her. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d want to come to a little party slash happy hour thing I’m having on Friday. It’s super casual, basically just drinks and fancy snacks with a bunch of people from the office. I think they’d all love to meet you and talk music. Off the record,” he added quickly.

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Penny replied. “I should be free Friday.”

“Great. I’ll text you my address and we can take it from there.”

“Thanks, Tom,” Penny said, collecting her trash. “I’m really looking forward to seeing more of you.”

“Same. I’ll see you on Friday.”

Penny waved as she threw her trash away and headed back to her building. She smiled to herself. It would be nice to have another friendly face around. They were too rare in her line of work.

***

Penny promptly shut her laptop at 5pm, stowing it in her tote bag and pushing her chair underneath her desk.

“Have a nice weekend!” she called out to the few staffers that were remaining in the newsroom, before heading to her car. She plugged Tom’s address into her GPS app, hit play on her Spotify playlist, and pulled out of the parking lot. She was about 45 minutes away, thanks to the heavy traffic that was a near constant presence in the city, but made it to Tom’s house before her 80s synth mix was finished playing, which she counted as a win.

She grabbed her bag and fished around in the backseat for the bottle of wine she’d purchased earlier that day. She wasn’t sure if this was that type of gathering, but she felt weird showing up empty handed. Hopefully Tom wouldn’t say no to some Trader Joe’s wine. She locked her car and walked up the path and heard some shouts coming from the backyard. She rang the bell and just a few moments later, Tom appeared with a smile on his face.

“Penny! Come on in!” he said, opening the door for her. “How was the drive over?”

“Not as bad as it could have been,” she replied, shrugging off her cardigan and tote bag.

“I can take those,” Tom offered, reaching for her belongings, and placing them in a nearby closet.

“Thanks,” Penny said. “And this is for you,” she added, offering him the bottle of wine.

“You didn’t have to bring anything.”

“It’s from Trader Joe’s, Tom. It is quite literally the least I could do.”

He laughed. “Well, thank you. I’ll put it out now. It’s an open bar, so help yourself. Once you get a drink, I’ll take you around and introduce you to everyone.”

Penny poured herself a rum and Coke, and followed Tom out to the patio, drink in hand.

“Penny, I’d like you to meet Tommy Bruce,” he said. “Tommy, this is my friend, Penny. We reconnected the other day.”

“Pleasure, Penny,” Tommy said, shaking her hand. “Do you also work in the industry?”

“Sort of. I’m a critic and reporter at The Moment. I cover music.”

“That’s sick. Do you go to a lot of shows?”

“Yes. I was at Elton John’s show the other day and I’m planning to see Post Animal in a couple of weeks.”

“I was at Elton too! I wonder if we ran into each other?”

“We probably did,” Penny said with a laugh.

“Are you planning to go to Leon Bridges?”

“I’m not sure yet. I have to get everything approved by my editor so it’s up to her.”

“I hope you can. He’s so good. Hey, Jeff!”

Tom and Tommy turned their attention to another man that had approached their small group.

“Penny, this is the man, the myth, the legend, Jeffrey Azoff,” Tom said.

“They exaggerate,” Jeff said. “Nice to meet you Penny.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Penny said, moving her drink to her other hand so she could shake Jeff’s. “I’m an old friend of Tom’s from growing up. I work as a music journalist now.”

“Yeah, you’re at The Moment, right?” Jeff said.

“Yes…” Penny said slowly.

“OK,” Tommy said, affably rolling his eyes. “He’s such a show off.”

“I try to keep up with those who cover our clients, that’s all,” Jeff said. “And if it makes me look like a show-off, so be it,” he added, as Tommy playfully punched his shoulder.

As the men continued to banter, Penny surveyed the room, making the silent calculation she faced nearly everyday. Including herself, there were four women total at the gathering, which felt like a huge accomplishment. Working in her industry, she was used to being one of the only women in the room, a blessing and a curse.

The blessing was that whenever she found another woman at an event or meeting, they instantly gravitated toward each other, which meant she’d made a lot of friends in just a few years. The curse was obvious: men.

The men that surrounded her weren’t the worst offenders – they kept their hands and other body parts to themselves and were generally very kind – but being the lone woman was noticeable. Men would casually throw out that someone was a “bitch” or offer Penny an explanation that they didn’t give to a male reporter two years her junior. Penny usually just took it with a grain of salt, sighing internally, complaining to Chloe, and then proving her worth by being the smartest one in the room. Keeping an eye on two women chatting in the corner, she started to move towards them to introduce herself when she caught sight of another person across the way.

Harry Styles.

Or was it? Was that actually him? Chloe was right, she needed to wear her glasses more often. But Harry Styles being here didn’t make any sense. What would he be doing at a random house party?

She felt a hand on her shoulder and stepped over to the side to allow the person to pass and collect her thoughts. The more she thought about it, Harry Styles being at this party made sense. She knew from stories she’d worked on that he was repped by Full Stop, so it wasn’t totally out of the realm of possibility that he would hang out with Tom and the other agents outside of work, but it was still jarring to see him out in the wild.

Whenever she told people she was a music journalist, their first instinct was to assume that she was close to many of the artists she reported on daily, but that wasn’t the case. When she was attending an event, it was a professional engagement. She was there to gather the facts, tell a story, and move on. Socializing with those in the industry outside of that professional setting made her uncomfortable. Especially when she was working on a review or piece of criticism. It was one thing to write those things and send them off into the vacuum of the internet, but when she thought about the subjects of the reviews reading her writing, she started to feel…guilty. She never intended to be mean – she knew how she felt when she received harsh notes from an editor – but the point of her reviews was to offer commentary and opinions. And if she thought too much about the people behind the work, her objectivity disappeared. So, she’d made a concerted effort to keep a firm boundary to ensure her writing was as good as it could be.

The few times she did meet musicians outside of work events, she could feel her brain going a mile a minute to remember if she’d ever written something slightly negative about them for fear they’d call her out on it, as despite what every musician claimed, they always read the reviews. And her brain started working overtime to perform these mental calculations as she saw Harry stop in front of her.

“Haven’t seen you here before. I’m Harry,” he drawled slowly, reaching out his hand.

Penny momentarily froze, but quickly recovered. “I’m Penny,” she said, shaking his hand.

“Do you work at Full Stop?” he asked, eyes glancing over her as if he was trying to figure out where she should be placed.

“No.”

“At one of the labels?”

“No.”

“OK, well I’m stumped as to where you fit it,” he said with a light laugh. “Care to enlighten me?”

“I’m a writer,” Penny replied, hoping the vague nature of her answer was enough to satisfy him.

“Have you written anything I’ve read?”

“Maybe.”

“Care to give me any other clues?” he asked, sipping from the plastic cup in his hand and leaning in closer to hear her response. Penny couldn’t tell what it was, but from the smell wafting over to her, it was something strong.

“I’m a journalist.”

“What do you cover?” Another sip, his eyes intensely focused on her.

“Entertainment,” Penny said simply, praying this game of 20 questions would be over soon.

“That’s kind of vague,” Harry replied quickly.

“That’s kind of the point.”

“Oh! A woman with an air of mystery. That’s…” he paused. “Enticing.”

“Enticing?” Penny quirked a brow and shot him a bemused grin.

“Yeah, it’s like a challenge. You’re making me work for it.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know, maybe a drink?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Wow. Subtle.”

“I try.” The corners of his lips ticked up. “Maybe I should try a little harder though.”  

Penny was thinking up a witty comeback, somewhat amused by the situation she’d found herself in and very pleased that she’d have a new story to share with Chloe at lunch on Monday, when Tom interrupted their conversation.

“There you two are! I was hoping to introduce you all tonight.” He looked at Harry, gesturing to Penny. “This is Penny. She’s a friend from back home who’s a big time writer for The Moment. She writes reviews for concerts and albums.”

Penny snuck a look at Harry and thought she saw a flicker of…something…in his eyes. It was so subtle and so brief that she didn’t have time to think about what it could mean before she felt Tom’s arm on her back.

“And Penny, you of course know Harry.”

“I do. I think one of my friends had a toothbrush with your face on it.”

“Hmmm,” Harry murmured. “Those were a hot item for sure.”

Tom’s eyes darted between the two, evidently waiting for them to continue the conversation he had interrupted. Seeing that that wasn’t going to happen, he excused himself and moved onto another group of people.

“So, music is the kind of entertainment you cover.” The banter was back but it had a harder edge this time.

“It is.”

“Have you ever written about me?”

Penny mulled her potential responses, trying to find one that could cause the path of least resistance. “No,” she said simply.

“Really?” Harry said. The challenge in his voice was evident. “You weren’t the one who said I sound like ‘a young boy trying to imitate his elders?’”

Fuck. Penny felt her face grow hot. ��That might have been me.”

“I thought so.”

“How long did you know?”

“Once Tom said the name of where you work. There aren’t that many critics named Penny that wrote a scathing review of my album.”

“It wasn’t scathing,” Penny said, suddenly feeling defensive of her work. “It was critical, sure, but that’s what my job is. I’m a critic. And besides, don't musicians get off on bragging about how they don’t pay attention to the reviews?”

“Hate to break it to you but that’s a load of bullshit. We are all very sensitive creatures.”

“Well, that’s clear based on how you’re acting now.”

“How I'm acting? You’re the one that’s yelling in the middle of a party.”

“I’m not yelling!” Penny said, lowering her voice by a couple of decibels. “You’re the one that came over here trying to score and then decided to pick a fight because you can’t forget about one review from like two years ago.”

“I’m sorry–” Harry laughed in disbelief. “You thought I was trying to get lucky? What made you think that?”

“‘Ah! A mysterious woman! So enticing! I like a challenge. You’re making me bloody work for it. Let’s get a drink!’” Penny shot back in a poor imitation of his slow, deep voice.

“I did not say that.”

“Yes you did!” Penny yelped. “You totally did.”

“Whatever,” Harry mumbled, taking another sip of his drink while Penny just looked at him.

“That’s all you have to say?”

Harry looked at her blankly. “Yes?”

“Oh, I thought you might offer up a sorry.”

“What for?”

“For attacking my work.”

“I hate to break it to you, Penny, but I think you attacked my work first.”

“Because it’s my fucking job!”

“Everything alright over here?”  Jeff asked, stepping into the conversation. The look of caution on his face told Penny that her conversation with Harry had been overheard by the others at the party.

“We’re fine,” Penny said evenly.

“Yeah, peachy keen,” Harry added, earning a glare from Penny.

“I should actually be going,” Penny said.

“Oh, can’t you stay a little longer?” Jeff asked as Harry muttered “Bye, then.” Jeff cut his eyes over to Harry, who avoided his glance. “Alright then,” he said slowly. “It was nice to meet you, Penny. Hope to see you around.”

“You, too,” Penny said before swiftly leaving the group.

“What was that about?” Jeff asked, attention turned back to Harry.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“You were a bit, shall we say…dickish…back there?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“If you say so,” Jeff said. He paused. “Have you read any of her work?”

“I’ve read enough of it.”

“You should honestly read some more. The Moment in general is a really up-and-coming publication. They’ve poached some stellar writers and editors from Billboard and Rolling Stone. And Penny…she’s smart. I think you all would have a lot to talk about.”

Harry glared at Jeff. “What makes you say that?”

“She’s got an interesting perspective. Her reviews always leave me thinking about things in a different way and I can’t say that about many critics.”

“Oh really,” Harry shot back, suddenly combative. “Did you start to reconsider my album after reading her review?”

“Calm down, H,” Jeff said gently. “Your album is a fantastic accomplishment and you know it. And she doesn’t just write criticism, she does cultural pieces as well. Check them out. She was on a podcast last year that you might find interesting.” Jeff pulled out his phone, typing quickly. “Here’s a link. Give it a listen and let me know what you think.”

Harry shot Jeff another glare and drained his cup. “Thanks,” he said dryly. “I’ll move it to the top of the list. See you later,” he called, pushing past his manager.

He tossed his cup into a nearby trash can and combed the room for Tom, offering a wave as he walked out the door. Harry walked slowly down the driveway, feeling the cool night air blow through his hair, relishing the peace. He’d felt a little off all day, but couldn’t put a finger on why, and his encounter with Penny had thrown him even more off balance. He’d been feeling like this a lot recently. Like he didn’t quite fit in alongside the other pieces of his life. He reached his car and unlocked it, sliding inside.

He plugged in his phone and stared out the windshield. Penny. He hadn’t known who she was when he approached her that night. Only that she looked pretty and that the smile she’d worn when he saw her talking to Jeff and Tommy made him want to know more about her. But as the pieces fell into place, it was impossible to look past what she’d done to him two years ago.

He didn’t know why her review had struck such a nerve with him. It wasn’t like his debut had been released to unanimous raves, and after two years of looking back on it, while he was proud of what he’d accomplished, he could see the weak spots in his work and was hoping to improve upon them with his second album. The hurt that lingered was just one of those implacable feelings.

Rolling his neck and feeling it crack, he pulled on his seatbelt and scrolled through his music library looking for something to listen to on the ride home. But after cycling through the entire library twice to no avail, he opened the text Jeffrey had sent him earlier, pressing play on the podcast episode that had been shared with him before turning the key in the ignition. His drive home was long but while he usually grew antsy watching the clock change as he sat bumper to bumper with other drivers, tonight his mind was occupied listening to the discussion echoing through his speakers.

It was an episode from one of Variety’s podcasts last year, shortly after his Forum concerts. Penny was a guest, chatting with the two guys who served as hosts. One of them sounded cool, and the other sounded like someone that he’d like to punch in the face if they ever crossed paths in real life. The episode was about his tour, specifically his shows in Los Angeles. It was weird listening to people talk about him like he was a commodity for consumption, and not like a human, a blatant reminder of why he typically abstained from engaging with anything like this.

Much to his surprise, Penny played the role of his supporter throughout the podcast, jumping to his defense when the Asshole, or whatever his name was, levied harsh words at Harry and his fans. He wouldn’t have expected that based on what she’d previously written. On the track, they shifted topics and Harry’s mind drifted off as the episode played on, ending moments before he arrived at his home. He turned off the car but made no effort to head inside. Instead, he picked up his phone and opened Instagram where he typed in Penny’s name.

Her account popped up right away. He scrolled over her page, unsurprised by what he found. Lots of pictures of concerts, sunsets on the beach, and admittedly delicious looking food. There weren’t many pictures of her but he found one that was relatively recent, posted last Christmas. She was smiling alongside some other women, probably friends based on the caption, and once again he felt something tugging inside of him when he looked at her. Next, he redownloaded the Twitter app, something he swore he would never do, and typed in Penny’s name, skimming through her Tweets. Jeff was right. She was frustratingly and irritatingly smart.

Closing out of Twitter, he navigated back to Instagram, finger hovering over the follow button. He hesitated, but after a minute his finger came down on the icon and it changed from blue to gray.

As he put his phone in his pocket and locked his car, across town Penny’s phone lit up with a notification. She missed the initial alert as she washed her face and pulled on the old college t-shirt she wore to bed most nights, but she finally noticed it when she went to set her alarm: Harry Styles followed you.

What the fuck was he trying to do? After laying into her the way he did at Tom’s house, completely unprovoked, the last thing she wanted to do was interact with him in the virtual world. She deleted the notification, plugged in her phone, and went to sleep.

When Harry woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was check his Instagram notifications. He scrolled past most of them – comments and following alerts from random fans and bots – but among all of the familiar amalgamations of usernames, Penny’s was nowhere to be found.

He laid his phone on his chest and stared at the ceiling. What game was she trying to play with him? And why did he feel so upset? The silence that surrounded him as he laid motionless was so loud.

When he finally found the motivation to get out of bed, he pulled on some jogging shorts and a tank and laced up his sneakers, grabbing headphones on his way out the door. He was hoping that a run might clear his head, but thoughts of Penny from the night before echoed alongside the sound of his feet on the pavement. Clarity hadn’t been found when he reached the five mile point, so he begrudgingly turned around to head home and shower. His mind was still swirling as he got cleaned up, and by the time he was dressed for the day and brewing coffee, he had a plan.

He pulled up his contacts and scrolled until he found the name he was looking for, pacing nervously while the phone rang.

“Hey,” the voice on the other line said. “Is everything OK?”

“Yeah, Tom. Sorry for the early morning call,” Harry said, twisting his fringe around his finger as he continued to do laps around the island. “Are you heading into the office today?”

“Seeing as it’s Saturday, I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Oh, shit,” Harry said, cringing when he took note of the early weekend hour. “I guess I lost track of time.”

“Not a problem,” Tom replied, stifling what seemed to be a yawn. “I’ll be there bright and early on Monday.

“Oh, nice. Would you maybe want to catch up and grab lunch?”

“That would be great, seeing as it’ll have been close to 48 hours since we last caught up,” Tom said a bit facetiously.

Harry said nothing trying to extract his fingers from the knot he’d twisted his fringe into. “Oh, yeah,” he mumbled after a moment.

“H, I’m kidding,” Tom said with a light laugh. “You can always swing by. Would you want to go to the bistro?”

“No, why don’t we pick somewhere more convenient to you. How about Loqui?” Harry suggested naming one of the restaurants that was in the campus that housed both the Full Stop and The Moment offices.

“Uh, yeah that’s fine. I’ll see you then. Have a good weekend, H.”

“You too, Tom.”

Harry hung up the phone and tried to figure out how he’d distract himself until Monday.

***

As Penny sat in her editor’s office Monday morning, she was trying to calculate when her next dental appointment was scheduled for and whether or not she’d be able to add on some x-rays to survey the damage done to her jaw after clenching it as hard as she had that morning.

Darren had finished reviewing her piece over the weekend, and had suggested they review his edits first thing, which wasn't the way she wanted to start the week.

“I think the biggest problem you have here is that this isn’t a story,” he said, scrolling through the copy on his laptop. “You only have one example of this phenomenon if we want to call it that and I honestly don’t think that TikTok is that important to the success of the song. In my professional career, we’ve seen plenty of songs do this. It’s nothing unusual.”

“But you’re missing the point,” Penny said, pushing back. “The whole idea is yes, this hasn’t happened before, but it’s the way forward. This is going to be the new version of Justin Bieber getting discovered on YouTube or Shawn Mendes on Vine.” She could feel herself getting angry and took a breath to calm herself. “You’re always telling us to be ahead of the story and that’s what I’m doing.”

“But this isn’t a story.”

Penny bit the inside of her cheek as she struggled to keep her cool. “OK, then, what do you suggest I do?”

Darren sighed. “Write it up like a regular chart recap and include a couple of lines about how it’s getting close to a record.”

“Because of TikTok?”

“No mention of TikTok. We don’t want to look like we don’t know what we’re talking about.”

“We have a chance to scoop Rolling Stone and Billboard and you’re just ignoring it.”

“Because it’s not a story. End of discussion. I’ve got a meeting to go to.”

Darren stood up and exited the office, leaving Penny stunned and furious. When she’d collected herself, she moved back to her desk in the newsroom. She spun around in her chair, any motivation to work gone.

Editors, specifically Skylar, were constantly telling them to push boundaries and find the stories no one was writing on yet. Unfortunately, they weren’t always on the same page, which led to a great deal of frustration when it came time to file a story. Penny could submit a story thinking it was Pullitzer-worthy, but be left questioning her entire life path after a single round of edits. Almost as if she could sense the tension brewing, Chloe poked her head over top of the divider that separated their desks.

“I think you need coffee. Or a pastry. Or lunch. Basically you just need to not be in this office right now, so we’re going for a walk.”

Penny begrudgingly grabbed her purse and ID and headed towards the exit, close behind Chloe, who was listing off restaurant options.

“Loqui,” Penny eventually said, stopping the list. “I’m in the mood for some spice.”

After walking a few blocks they found themselves at the restaurant, scanning the menu above the cash register. They ordered – a beef plate for Chloe and chicken plate for Penny – and had stood off to the side waiting for their respective numbers to be called, when they were interrupted.

“So we go years without seeing each other and then all of a sudden it’s three times in one week?” Tom called from behind a partition.

“Oh my God,” Penny said, laughing with actual mirth for the first time all day. “What are the odds?”

“Nice to see you again,” Chloe added.

“Are you all dining in?” Tom asked, eyes shifting between the two women.

“Yeah,” Chloe chimed in. “Needed to get out of the office for a little while.”

“I feel that,” Tom replied. “You’re welcome to join us.”

Penny looked at Chloe, who nodded her agreement. Neither woman asked who “us” was.

Their numbers were called and when they’d collected their food they slid into the booth, leaving space around the plate of veggie tacos that had been placed in front of an empty chair.

“How’s your week shaping up?” Chloe asked Tom.

He shrugged. “Mondays are always rough, but it’s all downhill from here.”

“What is management like? Do you have a routine?” Chloe continued. “Like with reporting, there’s a certain cadence with different deadlines and interviews. Is there a similar thing for you all?”

“Sort of. If we’re on tour a lot of people have a routine they like to stick to. When we’re in the office, it’s a little less structured. Depends on what each client is working on.”

Penny kept her eyes on her plate, her thoughts still focused on her earlier conversation with Darren. Eyes on the floor, she saw the white loafers and yellow socks before the face of the man they belonged to.

“You’re out to lunch with Tom?” Penny asked in disbelief when her eyes met Harry’s.

“Yeah. I didn’t think there’d be a problem with that,” he mumbled as he sat in front of the plate.

“I’m Chloe. I don’t think we’ve met,” Chloe interjected helpfully.

“Harry,” Harry returned, extending his hand.

Penny stared daggers at him, but Harry refused to look at her. Penny knew he was observing her though, feeling his eyes burning into her whenever she looked away. Neither of them spoke, leaving Tom and Chloe to fill the silence with banal conversation.

As they chattered on, Penny continued to feel the heat of Harry’s glare on her.

“Can I help you?” she finally snapped.

“What?” he shot back.

“If you have something to say, just fucking say it.”

“I’ve got nothing to say,” he said, spooning some mushrooms and peppers into his mouth.

“Really? Because it looks like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“OK, then,” Harry shot back, putting his spoon down next to his plate. “Why’d you give my album such a shit review?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I do!”

“That’s a great argument,” Penny said, rolling her eyes.

“Well how about this,” Harry said, turning to face her. “I’m trying to figure out how someone who supposedly loves music and everything it stands for can be such a hater.”

“A hater?” Penny could feel the prickly sensation behind her eyes that meant tears were just moments away. “I’m sorry. The 90s called and they want their slang back.”

“Yeah, all of your reviews are just so…mean. It’s like you forget there’s someone behind that album.”

“Almost like forgetting there’s a person behind the review?”

“Don’t twist my words like that.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying it’s a two way street.”

“All you are is a second-rate journalist who isn’t good enough to work for a legitimate publication, so instead of saying things that actually matter, you just share your shitty takes to try to get Twitter clout.”

Penny could feel her lips tremble, but she was determined to not give Harry the satisfaction of seeing her cry. “You know, it’s generally frowned upon to harass a journalist in a public setting just because you don’t care for what they have to say.” She sniffed and much to her chagrin, she could feel her eyes getting wet. “But now you’ve got me crying in a restaurant so I hope you’re satisfied.” She grabbed her purse, leaving her food nearly untouched on the table. “I’ll see you back at the office, Chloe.”

Chloe and Tom’s eyes followed her as she walked out of the restaurant. Harry kept his eyes locked on his plate.

“I should probably check on her,” Chloe said after a moment.

“That might be for the best,” Tom said. “Let me grab a box. You can take her her food.”

Chloe picked up her own bag and leftovers, balancing them alongside Penny’s. “Wish this could have been longer but…” she trailed off as Tom nodded. She looked at Harry. “I’m not entirely sure what this is about but I’ve never met anyone who loves music more than Penny, so whatever assumptions you have about her, she’s not a ‘hater.’ She’s also not second-rate. She’s fucking brilliant, but maybe you’re just too dumb to see that.” She turned on her heel and walked out of the restaurant.

Harry picked up his spoon and started pushing the remaining vegetables and bits of tortilla around on his plate. The air was heavy with the unspoken questions on Tom’s tongue. “Go ahead and say it,” Harry said after a moment.

“Is there something going on with you?” Tom asked, point blank. “You’ve been kind of moody lately and I’m here if you want to talk.”

Harry looked up at him. “That wasn’t what I was expecting you to say.”

“Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m pissed that you yelled at my friend like that, but whatever issues you all have it’s not my business and I don’t want to get in the middle of it.”

“Sorry,” Harry said, a little more firmly. “I just – I haven’t been feeling great and I’m sure this is just a byproduct of whatever that is.”

“Studio stress?”

“Yeah, that,” Harry said, taking the out he was handed.

“Well, you can always talk to me, man. Just gotta let me know that something’s going on.”

Harry nodded and focused on finishing his lunch.

***

Back in the newsroom, Penny picked at the remnants of her lunch that Chloe had deposited on her desk, refreshing the feeds in her RSS reader while she waited on Darren’s edits. When he Slacked her that he was through, she opened the Google Doc to find that he had completely rewritten it. Ordinarily, she would have fought back, challenging him on everything down to the placement of commas, but she felt too drained after her earlier bout with him and the subsequent battle with Harry.

She signed off on the two rounds of edits as quickly as she could and returned to refreshing her browser.

“Are you ready to talk?” Chloe asked, poking her head over the frosted glass between them.

Penny shrugged. “Not much to discuss. I suck at doing my job. Darren agrees! Harry agrees! So does Walt from who the hell knows! I should just quit while I’m ahead.”

“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “Who is Walt and how does he factor into this equation?”

“Just some jerk on Twitter who also thinks I can’t write for shit.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Chloe said. “That’s how much time you have left to wallow. After that, you have to get up, look in the mirror, and realize that you are a bad bitch who deserves this job more than anyone.”

“I deserve twenty minutes,” Penny shot back. “But thank you for the words of encouragement. I know I just need to move on, but it’s hard to do that when it feels like this happens every fucking day just because Darren thinks I’m an idiot.”

“I know, Pen, but you just have to hang in there.” Chloe looked around before leaning in closer. “I heard a rumor that Darren’s days are numbered so things may be looking up for you.”

“Seriously?” The long running joke of the newsroom was that Darren had witnessed the CEO of the company hit someone with his car and that’s how he managed to land the job and stay gainfully employed for as long as he had.

“You didn’t hear it from me,” Chloe said, sinking back into her desk chair.

On slow days like this one, Penny typically filled her afternoon with source calls and research for future stories but with her motivation subzero, she made her way to the parking garage at 5pm on the dot, ready for a night of wine, takeout, and Friends reruns.

When she reached her car, she was surprised to find Tom there.

“Hey…” she said slowly.

“Hey, I didn’t want to miss you.”

“Should I be worried?” she asked jokingly. “I run into you after years of silence and a week later you’re waiting for me at my car?”

“I promise I’m not following you,” Tom said with a laugh. “I just had to tell you…I know this means nothing coming from me, but Harry isn’t usually like that.”

Penny sighed. “I don’t care, Tom. It’s been a day and I’d rather just move on to prepare for tomorrow’s battles.”

“I know, but it’s important to me that you know the truth.”

“Trying to make sure I don’t start a nasty rumor about your client?”

“No, just trying to make sure you don’t have the wrong idea about a great guy.”

“Great guy?” Penny’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “Are you trying to set me up with him now? Because I’m not interested.”

“No,” Tom huffed, rolling his eyes. “Although there could be something there…”

“Nope, not happening,” Penny said.

“Seriously,” Tom said, the earnestness returning to his eyes. “Harry’s a good guy and I think under the right circumstances you all would actually get along.”

“Tom, even if we were the last people on Earth tasked with repopulating the planet, I’d rather let the human race go extinct than willingly spend time with Harry Styles.”

“Wow, that’s uh, harsh and vivid,” Tom said, scratching the back of his neck. “You just need to understand that he’s under a lot of pressure with the new album.”

“New album?” That caught Penny’s attention.

“Shit!” Tom exclaimed, realizing the magnitude of what he’d shared. “That’s entirely off the record. I’m serious, Pen!”

“Woodward and Bernstein had Deep Throat telling them government secrets in a garage, and I have Tom Skoglund blabbing album releases next to my decrepit Toyota…does this mean my Pulitzer is on the way.”

“I mean it, Penny. I could get in a lot of trouble.”

“It’s fine, Tom. I’m not going to tell anyone. I’ll see you later.”

Tom nodded and headed back to the Full Stop office as Penny climbed into her car and pulled out of the garage.

Later that night after two glasses of wine and about 10 episodes of Friends, Penny decided to sign into her work email. She told herself that she wouldn’t check work emails off the clock, but she always gave into the temptation. She scrolled past the usual news alerts and reader feedback until one subject line stopped her cold.

“An Apology.”

She opened it before she realized what she was doing.

Hi Penny, the email began

It’s Harry. I’d like to apologize for the way I acted at Tom’s party the other night, as well as what I said in the restaurant earlier today. You’re right – it was entirely inappropriate for me to behave that way, and I’m sincerely sorry for any hurt or hard feelings that may have come about on your end as a result.

I just wanted to get this off my chest and conscience.

Hope your evening is treating you well.

All the best,

Harry

Penny was speechless, staring at her phone as Ross Geller’s cries of “We were on a break!” and the subsequent laugh track echoed in her empty apartment.

Harry had apologized.

When she recovered, her first instinct was to text Tom, attaching a screenshot of the email.

Did you put him up to this? she asked.

No, came Tom’s swift reply. See what I mean though? Not a bad guy.

Penny reread the email once, twice, three times, taking in the way he’d introduced himself, but left off his last name. The way his writing was devoid of exclamation points. The effort finding her address and sending the email entailed.

She doubted he’d got it from Tom, seeing as Tom had no clue about the message, which meant he’d either pulled it from The Moment’s website or her Twitter bio. Either option meant he’d taken the time to look her up, typing her name into the search bar to find her profile. Knowing that Harry had searched for her specifically made her feel some type of way. She wasn’t sure what.

She didn’t like Harry Styles, but maybe he wasn’t as horrible as she thought.

***

talk to me! || join the taglist || story inspo 

taglist: @harrysfolklore​ @platinumbarbie143​ @majasophieanna​ @lukesaprince​ @styles217​ @andwhenshesays​ @be-with-me-so-happily​ 

[tommos]

one direction history post: strange merch

hi everyone! i'm starting a small series of one direction history posts just to combine my interests in both history and the boys. these won't be super in depth, more so showing and telling. this first post is about some weird and strange merch choices one direction's marketing team has attempted to sell us throughout the years. i got these screenshots from the wayback machine looking at onedirectionstore.com, their official store. they are separated by era solely based on what was present on their shop at the time of each of the boys albums. these merch items are not a reflection of the albums themselves (which you'd think their merch team would try to appeal more to the aging fanbase as years went on), they all seem to me to be more geared toward how much they can attempt to get us buy. i now present to you the weirdest, most dated one direction merch i could find <3 enjoy

X Factor - Up All Night

what is this for, who is this for, why is this one of the first accessory items ever posted on the one direction store??? what was the initial demographic of the one direction fanbase?? idk when i was 10 i didn't need this, i would enjoy one now though

if you guys remember silly bandz, you are a veteran.. also give us toledoans credit where it's due because one of ours invented these bad boys

finally my iphone 4 will be decked out in the one direction collectors set

this was also the start of their personalized messages section of merch you could buy. surprise your loved one with heartfelt messages such as 'birthday girl' or 'merry christmas daughter'

Take Me Home

from here on out, this and two other photos are the only photos their team decided to make merch with. there is two other duvet sets that use those other photos, even in their later eras

sometimes i wake up in a cold sweat remembering these existed. if i can find my louis mask, i will wear it to fitfwt

if any of you have this keyring or the singing toothbrush, send me a clip of it singing please or if it is able to sing. i am so curious im on the edge of my seat

NAIL TEMPORARY TATTOOS

Midnight Memories

i literally do not know what this has to do with music, one direction, or anyone associated with one direction

i need to point out, these one direction watches came in literally every single color you could imagine. i do not know why they are merched inside of a can?? but they were the it-girl of their merch during this era

speaking of cans, WHAT IS THIS

would any of you fine people want to buy a 1d girls glitter strap shoe? it is merch like this that really reminds me one direction was moreso a brand than a band to their team

Four

kudos to their team for picking a more recent photo for the era, but also who would want this

do you guys remember the craze of this specific type of lamp

if the scooter isn't your speed, how about this one direction 16" cruiser bike make with old uan era font, color schemes, and photos?

Made In The AM

i am only putting this mitam find in here to point out something that i found crazy. this shirt was on the one direction merch website only one month after march 25th, you can see how quickly their merch team shelled out merch without zayn on it. i didn't include anymore, but even their on the road again tour merch on the website quickly had zayn erased

i hope you guys all enjoyed this weird trip down memory lane if you can call it that, and liked looking at some of the weird merch their team used to sell. this is only stuff that stood out to me, i'm sure there's a lot more somewhere so if you have any, send them to me or feel free to add onto this post. if you own any of these, ESPECIALLY THE BIKE, please add a pic of them to this post lol

[gracefullou]

I haven’t watched any clips yet. I effing hate most of the non-Louis songs and now that I know what the set list was, I’m not as likely to watch the videos. Was the gp reception to HIS music at least good?

Hi, anon! I started watching the live when he was singing face the music. Great! I enjoyed it very much and it's such a good song live. So energetic! And then waoyf came up and it was just so amazing. So sexy! Night changes came right after and i actually don't mind it. I think it's 1D's most popular song at the moment after wmyb, he has writing credits on it and i get that a 1D cover is a must on his set and i'm totally ok with that (My problem is that he has 3 of those 😵‍💫). After that, it's a bit of blur. I think it was walls (which i love but i think if he absolutely has to choose Saturdays would be a better option) and then seven 😖 and then he said he was going to perform wdbhg but it was actually ooms and then wdbhg and he finished his set with silver tongues. Larries and ot5s really hate his solo music bc how the hell do they not see it? Starting from face the music, i watched him perform 8 songs 3 of which were covers. Also, i don't really count silver tongues with the barricade and all. I feel like it's the perfect closure to his shows but it s not really a song performance, i don't know how to put it correctly but i hope you get the point. So, to me in that time, he performed 4 songs (3 fitf ones and one from walls) and 3 covers (and the covers are way longer than his own songs btw) which is so excessive and frankly stupid. I'm sorry but despite him sounding incredibly good today and the stage design looking better than the tour shows in my opinion, i couldn't enjoy his set nearly as much as his fitfwt shows. I think one of Louis' problems is that he thinks too highly of 1D and too little of his solo songs' potential. Not everyone is a 1D fan (and seeing the live today i get why it's hard for him to believe that bc everywhere he goes, 1 deaders rip their vocal chords off singing those lyrics but he needs to understand that they are only a fraction of that audience and that some people are just not his target audience 🤷‍♀️). And for those, it's a little hard to enjoy his set. And I don't get the seven thing. Literally no one was singing a single lyric. If you want to perform songs that people don't know, you might as well sing one of your own (not that i think no one knows his songs but apparently that's what he believes 💀). I could see the confidence leave his body when the crowd went dead for this one which uo but i think he needs to start working on not getting affected by whether or not the crowd knows the words he's singing especially at festivals so why Louis, why 😭. It's hard enough as it is to make people who don't know you/ your music to check it out after one set especially for someone who's had no real gp exposure for years, but Louis is not even really giving them anything to begin with. He's not giving faith in the future, his beloved album that he designed with the live show in mind (his words not mine) any exposure when he was presented with the opportunity. He needs to start believing in his songs especially fitf songs potential ASAP. Another uo, i do not think it's a good look on him to perform this many covers for people who know he has two solo albums out already. It might look a bit ambitionless and straight up lazy for someone who doesn't know him. I know i wouldn't be impressed 🤷‍♀️. As far as the gp reception, i really don't know. The camera was on him not on the crowd. They were singing along his songs ( but of course not as loudly as 1 dead songs) but i suspect those are his/ 1D fans that went there to watch him. He sounded really really good today, and he looked so hot so hopefully he stole some hearts. I think it's too early to gauge the gp reception, so let's just see how it goes but i do know that he's not using this festival run to its full potential with his setlist choices.

[alarrytale]

"I'm a 26-year-old man who's single; it's like, yes, I have sex."

Still wondering to this day why on earth Harry said this to BH&G instead of talking about almost anything else. He wasn't single or having sex outside his relationship. I remember that the popular blogger lornasaurusrex who had a great tagging system got so angry about him saying something so misleading and unnecessary that she deleted her blog.

Hi, anon!

It's because sex sells and a large part of his brand is being a womaniser. I also think he's talking about his behaviour when he's single and it's an attempt to come off as sex-positive. "Harry" does say some questionable things in written interviews. If you put this in context, what "he" is explaining is that in 1D he was trying to uphold a boyband image, where you should just tease but not actually have sex, and him being afraid of the people he's having sex with breaking NDAs, but then going fuck that let the gp know i'm having sex, i'm 26 now. It's bragging and and an attempt at aging him up, while confirming his womaniser image. It's a bit tasteless, and eyeroll-worthy, but i don't think it's misleading, it's just him enforcing his image. We know none of this is true at all.

Here is the context;

"For a long time, it felt like the only thing that was mine was my sex life. I felt so ashamed about it, ashamed at the idea of people even knowing that I was having sex, let alone who with," he said. The life of a boy band member is something of a Ken Doll existence—a smooth nothingness where sex should be. One must be flirtatious (swoon!) without ever being seen to have sex, let alone casual sex. One must project the intrigue of a bad boy without ever doing anything bad; you are an object, an image, onto which people project fantasies, not a person who actually does things, who gets messy. "At the time, there were still the kiss-and-tell things. Working out who I could trust was stressful," Styles said. "But I think I got to a place where I was like, why do I feel ashamed? I'm a 26-year-old man who's single; it's like, yes, I have sex."

Source

I don't understand why someone would delete their blog because Harry's PR team has instructed him on what shit to say on behalf of his image in written interviews. It's not H speaking here it's Harry Styles tm. The real Harry is in a relationship with Louis who he's had sex with and been faithful too since 2010. H wouldn't have been able to say any of this with a straight face on camera. I don't give much credence to anything written and published that's attributed to either H or L. Tabloids, magazines or social media. It's the easiest way to enforce their images and make people believe it.

Harry is probably going to have another printed interview accompanying the launch of his next album. So you've got to be prepared for more lies, questionable sayings and foot in mouths coming from "Harry". It will be interesting to see what image they'll go for this time around and how they'll sell him. The written interviews will let us know. That's the only thing these interviews are good for. Don't believe a single thing "he" says, even if it's things you want to hear. You can’t trust any of it to be true.

[bright-and-burning]

tagged by @landoisokay and @bsaka7 to do my 9 favorite albums (with commentary. i had a lot to say...)

these are all relatively recent because i pick and choose older songs individually more than i listen to them as a single album. like i could pick at least an album’s worth of queen songs, but they’re not all off the same album, ya feel.

in no particular order!! w some explainers below the cut:

dreamland (2020) - glass animals. i almost put how to be a human being but i’ve been listening to that album basically on repeat for the last three weeks so i needed to switch it up. such an experience of an album honestly?? where how to be a human being makes me feel like the main character in an over-saturated murderous movie set in miami, dreamland is like, over-saturated fast car movie set in tokyo (the like. hollywood idea of tokyo, to be clear). forever intertwined with midnight walks through empty cities during covid, driving too fast, the first time i hung out with people after getting to come back to college, neon lights on cinderblock walls and $12 plastic handles of liquor. fundamentally bittersweet as an album imo? but so full of bangers that you forget that it’s . really sad. tokyo drifting with denzel curry was my top song of 2020 and spotify helpfully informed me that i listened to it 30 times on my 19th birthday. lol. the “get loose, streetfighter” with the street fighter sound effect… oh yeah baby that’s art. it’s all so incredibly loud also a song of all time tbh. whole album is floaty and sharp all at once, insane production, the perfect sadness layered underneath, every song building into this brilliant crescendo… perfect album for 2020 eve for like so many reasons, i could wax on about this for AGES so if u want more drop an ask no joke it’ll make my week. still holds up soooo well

lemonade (2016) - beyonce. LOL. this album dropped right around when i was getting cheated on by my gf of. over a year. and then we broke up and i signed the papers to transfer schools the next day without telling anyone. so this album fr got me through uprooting my entire life to start over. (what timing, to get cheated on right as beyonce drops her got-cheated-on album). i knew beyonce belonged on here (too influential musically to me to Not) but i was stumped on what specific album to include (i had 4 on cd in my car in high school, for example, and homecoming: the live album felt like cheating) until i remembered how much play time this one got, and how much i leaned on the album and the visuals then (which. by the way. i bought on itunes bc it wasn’t available for streaming. used precious data bc school wifi wouldn’t let me download it. possibly the last album i bought on itunes??)

save rock and roll (2013) - fall out boy. oh man. 2015 me was on one bc i was a HUGE mcr/fob/atl/p!atd/green day girl but at the Exact same time. a 1d girlie. my shuffle would literally go from mama to up all night. ANYWAYS. was stuck between american beauty/american psycho and save rock and roll, but i think american beauty/american psycho didn’t hold my attention for long and only recently came back on my radar (has some very toxic inspiration won’t lie). the mighty fall ft big sean? life changing. big fan of rappers being dropped into songs that you aren’t expecting them to feature on. “i’m either fuckin or workin so the grind don’t stop” is a work of art. young volcanoes and save rock and roll were legitimately like. the most comforting songs of all time as a sad and lonely 14 year old

when we were friends (2019) - the backseat lovers. starts out so strong and keeps it going. what an album to listen to while absurdly into someone who then starts dating your roommate lol. just like, beautiful stuff. makes me yearn. crazy good to belt out in the car while driving

cleopatra (2016) - the lumineers. feels like home, and being dumb young and in love to me. i’ve been listening to them since ho hey played on our local membership supported radio station when i was . 11?? finally got to see them two summers ago and bawled my eyes out the entire time. this whole album no skips but also like. so overwhelmingly nostalgic and infused with feelings with nowhere to go that i can’t help but want to cry. i learned how to play ophelia on a piano in a basement of a dorm i’ll never see the inside of again lol. patience makes me insane and it’s literally just piano. the lumineers in general make a lot of music that makes me ache for times and places i can’t return to, but this album is pretty peak for it

lungs (deluxe edition) (2009) - florence + the machine. god florence just does not miss does she. dog days are over another local member supported radio station hit. i started listing all the perfect songs off and then had to stop because i was listing the entire track list. floaty and romantic with a heavy edge of morbidity and violence. remember when i said i love when rappers on songs you aren’t expecting? if you listen to anything from this post PLEASE listen to you’ve got the dirtee love ft dizzee rascal from this album. a long ass album that’s good the whole way through, i’ll truly never tire of it

ctrl (2017) - sza. i think SOS might be better and eventually take this slot but i’m trying not to let recency impact this too much. drew barrymore went quintuple platinum in my bedroom in high school. it really was the perfect album for insecure 16 year old me? speaks of growth that listening to this album doesn’t hit me where i live half as much as it used to, that instead of being like damn so real sza to things like . “im sorry im so clingy i dont mean to be a lot... lonely enough to let you treat me like this” im like. damn good song

hozier (expanded edition) (2014) - hozier. take me to church another song that member supported ad-free radio station introduced me to. what a fucking album my GOD. angel of small death and the codeine scene… jackie and wilson was literally like. the love song to me. still is can’t lie. need to be saved and have hands through my hair. every single song has lines that literally make my jaw drop, i feel like i discover something new on every listen through. “free and young and we can feel none of it”… foreigner’s god makes my chest ache. i can’t fucking believe this album is ten years old???

mt joy (2018) - mt joy. another album that reminds me of home; my whole family listened to this for months on end during covid. i’m your wreck is such an opener… “and whatever happens please remember all the laughter” like i’ll cry. my instagram bio is from this song lol. the bit where it shifts into what my family calls shoulder lean mode… anyways. ASTROVAN!!! A SONG ABOUT JESUS SMOKING WEED but like. also an emotional tale of assuring mom how music’ll work out even if they’re broke the whole time. whole album gives me Feelings. this might be the happiest album on this list and it’s. not really that happy. just a very specific kind of like. optimism. we move forward even when we look back. the world fails us but we build it better. idk. like the last song is a break up song, but it’s whole thing is “so if you worry, don’t worry bout me, i always wanted you to see the california coast-line on your own time.” so like yeah, love is burning out, but don’t worry about me. i told u. Feelings.

uhhhh no pressure tagging @mecachrome @freeuselandonorris @monacotrophywife and @oscarpiastriwdc

[foxes-that-run]

Perfect

Zayn said he wouldn’t buy the record when he heard Perfect (so salty!). Harry's emotions varied performing it in its short 27 performance run from Oct-Dec when 1D ended. These 2 stand out:

November 20 2015, rather than sing the Bridge Harry said to the crowd "if you think it's so funny you can sing it".

3 days later at the AMAs he rolls his eyes and looks ready to walk out, the camera cuts to a kid who seems to agree. (Bridge is 2:40).

It was only performed 6 more times, in Carpool Karaoke (10:30) Harry stops singing for parts and the song cuts before the bridge, at the Jingle ball he looks away and the last time was new years.

Or this concert he put the mike into the crowd, someone stole the microphone and licked it.

Safe to say he regretted that bridge, it's savage to them both.

Writers

Perfect ties with Fools Gold for the title of the Haylor song with the most writers, at 7. While Fools Gold has all 5 of the band, Bunetta and Ryan. Harry and Louis are the only band members who worked on Perfect with Bunetta, Ryan and 3 others:

Jesse Shatkin, (cowrote Sia's Chandelier)

Jacob Kasher (Maroon 5 collaborator), and

Mozella (cowrote Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball and Fools Gold.)

To me, Perfect has more media grabbing pop-song than Harry Styles. HS’s best 1D work was with teams of 3 or 4 writers. In fact, Bunetta said Olivia came out in 45 minutes while overworking another "less good" MITAM song.

Timeline

Bunetta also told Rolling Stone about Perfect:

"That one took a long time, just because it was written over a couple different continents. It started as one thing and ended up where it is."

MITAM was made in the summer of 2015. To have been written in a couple of continents and with USA based writers it was probably either side of the BBMAs. It could have been started 'as one thing' in April in South Africa before the BBMAs other songs that reference Style including Two Ghosts started early in the year. The "ended up where it is" with those writers would be after the BBMAs, when they got back to the USA from July. This would be at the end of the album and he was singing it daily within 3 months.

Similarity to Taylors songs

It has the same chord progressions as Style and is also very similar to out of the woods as this video on Twitter shows. He called it a love song in the made in the AM interview (6 mins) and that it wasn’t literal in another. I do love this James Cordon bit and I love his Taylor smile so much.

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Louis] I might never be your knight in shinin' armour I might never be the one you take home to mother And I might never be the one who brings you flowers But I can be the one, be the one tonight

Grapejuice, has the perfect (get it) call back to this verse, along with 'Red' and 'Pay for it' and I love him for it:

"I was on my way to buy some flowers for you (ooh) / Thought that we could hide away in a corner of the heath / There's never been someone who's so perfect for me / But I got over it and I said / "Give me somethin' old and red" / I pay for it more than I did back then"

[Pre-Chorus: Liam] When I first saw you from across the room I could tell that you were curious, oh, yeah Girl, I hope you're sure what you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises

Promises come up again in Woman "Promises are broken like a stitches is", which is interesting if both Woman and part of Perfect are written after the 2015 BBMAs.

‘Know what you are looking for’ is interesting. In "Say don't go" and the 1989 TV Vaults in general Taylor did not get what she was looking for. At 23, dating a 19 year old Taylor told us she didn’t get wavy she needed. Her most recent ex, JG was 29. (yes - JG was the age Harry is now! Imagine if he did that) So I kind of stand by this line.

The start refers to the night they met. Which neither has ever confirmed, I think it was in 2011 (see timeline) Many look at the coat he tries on in the music video, which matches both his Up All Night Tour outfit (from December 2011) and the 2012 Kids Choice Awards. The awards are fun though. The Up All Night DVD also has it.

[Verse 2: Niall] I might never be the hands you put your heart in Or the arms that hold you any time you want them But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

Urgh I choose to attribute 'love from time to time' to one of the 6 other people writing this. To me this line always sounds like a boy-band heartthrob priority playing out in the writers room. No wonder it took time and HS1 to overcome this.

However, this does speak to a theme of them not being available to each other because of their careers and 1D punishing schedule. If I could fly's "I'm missing half of me when we're apart" and Half the World Aways " So you're not my girlfriend / Don't pretend that makes us nothing / Tell me you don't miss this feeling" speaks more honestly to the interplay of his band image, schedules and priorities which Taylor referred to Suburban Legends.

[Chorus: Harry, All] But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do Then, baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you And if you like midnight driving with the windows down And if you like goin' places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreamin' about Then, baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

Here are Haylor themes we know and love, Driving at midnight (Style, HYGTG, Wish You Would) generally going from a high schooler to superstar overnight (placed they can’t pronounce like Cannes), and hidden love/hiding (I Know Places, Slut!)

[Bridge: Harry] And if you like cameras flashin' every time we go out Oh, yeah And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about Then baby, I'm perfect And baby, we're perfect

The camera’s flashing is good imagery and his voice brings to life how personally challenging it was for them both in a way I Know Places didn't with very few words. Taylor also refers to this imagery in Is it over now?

But the break up songs is a low blow and I assume the part he regretted to the point of not wanting to sing it. In a later interview Harry said:

“The only time you really think, ’is this song too personal?’ is if you think about, ‘is this going to be really annoying for the other person?’ Because I do [care],” he finished.

Which I think the break up song line would have been very annoying.

If you made it through that reward yourself with Grapejuice at Wembley 🍇

[ziamln]

Long ramble post. [1D]

I’m feeling nostalgic, overanalysing shit, and bored on a Thursday night with nothing to do. You can read this or skip over it, especially if you disagree, I’m not looking for drama. This will probably be messy and incoherent with 0 structure. For those of you who weren’t there during the 1D era, this may be confusing, particularly if you weren’t there during the shit storm that was 2015/16. Again, feel free to skip this, as it will be long and probably won't make sense, but this is my blog so you don’t necessarily have to agree with me. Before I go into this I feel like I need to clarify, I am proud of all 5 boys and their solo careers, I support them all wholeheartedly, and my saying I miss OT5 doesn’t mean I don’t. some things are facts stated by the boys others are merely a speculation or my own deduction from what has been implied or reading between the lines, just to put that out there. Bear in mind I am a Ziam blog, Liam and Zayn have always been my focal point, and always will be and I also have a Louis [& slight Larry] bias so, do what you will with that information. Basically feel free to skip!

It was so good to see Zayn in an interview after so long [I can't lie it's so weird hearing people commenting on his talking voice as something new and unusual], but hopefully, he’ll actually get better promo for this upcoming album, I’m super excited either way, his music is rarely short of anything but a masterpiece. But there’s a line in Zayn’s recent podcast which stuck out to me.

Personally, I found this intriguing, because at least to me, I feel as though it explains quite a few things. Particularly regarding Zouiam [Zayn, Louis and Liam], I’m not saying it didn’t apply to Niall or Harry but, I feel like it provides some sort of perspective on things others have speculated on, and also some things I have speculated on. Again, this is merely a speculation on my part, you don’t have to agree [scrolling is very easy]. I will not claim to know as much as I may have known about all 5 of them as I did 8 years ago, admittedly, though I support most of the boys through listening to their music, I don’t pay much attention beyond that to anyone other than Zayn, Liam and sometimes Louis, this isn’t to say I don’t like Niall, I enjoy his music or Harry, I have always been a Ziam/ Zouiam account and have always stuck to them, and as solo artists, I prefer their music, even during their time as a band. [As I’m sure many have a preference for the other boys. I don’t see an issue with it unless it is purposefully disrespectful or hateful to others.]

I know a lot of people are stuck on the line of how after ‘5 years together they all got sick of one another’, which is understandable and perhaps almost inevitable. [Personally, as someone with a sibling I definitely understand the sentiment] I don’t see any malice or drama in it, it would naturally happen to anyone after so many years of constantly being together, with barely any breaks and performing together non-stop for almost 5 years. It would catch up to even the most patient of people, especially considering how they were literally teenagers/ young adults the whole time. Nothing he said in that interview was hateful at all.

Also not to dismiss his line about how he said "I completely selfishly wanted to be the first person to go and make my own record." with this, whilst I’m not saying it’s untrue because it could be true that that's what happened. But I can’t deny its a little confusing because of the number of times the story of his reasoning for leaving the band has been changed throughout the years, initially, it started as him citing stress and saying he wanted to be a ‘normal 22-year-old’, then it was that he said there was ‘never any room for me to experiment creatively’ made sense as it was rumoured that his writing had been snubbed on Four and it could possibly be a mixture of all the reasons combined. But my point is we have been given many different reasons, but we will probably never know the full truth, so at this point, it's anyone’s guess as to what the actual reasoning was.

Of course, there is no doubt that behind the scenes of the entire One Direction era was a complete shit show, as has been stated/ hinted at by most if not all members at this point in some way, shape or form. So we can only begin to imagine the stress and pressure they were constantly put through. There is a lot we don’t know about that time, and probably never will. Some things are perhaps even traumatic for the boys who had to go through it, all we can do is speculate and be as supportive as possible as fans. 

I mean I feel like this trauma has presented itself in different ways with each member, perhaps in ways we will never know, Zayn himself has stated that we could never understand that time as it is something only they would get. 

In terms of image and what they show; Niall is quiet, unproblematic and as far as I’m aware he seems pretty much like, other than his music and tours, he keeps to himself. Harry from my impression, is a loudly quiet person, by this I mean, he comes across as loud as though he divulges a lot, people may claim he is the one who people have the most knowledge of, which is true to an extent. But in terms of his personal life, there are limitations, understandable of course, but it seems to me we only know what we are shown and the rest is left to be read between the lines. 

Louis, I feel as though we learn more about him through his music, his private life is fairly private, other than what he talks about and what we are shown, [side note: not everything that we are shown is necessarily how it is/true, this applies to all 5 boys] Louis is also quite an interesting case, we saw him get progressively quieter as time went on, especially in comparison to how he was in 2010/11, [many fans who believe in Larry attribute this to him being pushed into the closet and having to hide his more ‘flamboyant nature’] or it could be a simple case of all the stress and difficult life events taking its toll, or even [I think it's likely] a combination of all of this. Either way, it has been disheartening to witness.

Zayn has always been the most misunderstood I think. As Zayn himself said, they were all given personas and that has stuck with them from their time in the band, even until this present day I would say, [I wish some would consider this in Liam's case but that's for another post]. If you saw Zayn from 2010/11 he wasn’t particularly ‘mysterious’ or such, in fact, he was quite boisterous and funny if my memory serves me correctly, but again If the management wanted them to have a certain persona they were going to make sure it stuck. Zayn has always kept his private life exactly that, private. Typically in the case of his relationships [I would say this applies to some of Liam's also] but the main times we would hear about Zayn's relationships is if it was to make Zayn out to be a bad guy or to benefit the woman he was dating at the time through PR or some way as such, which is quite telling in itself.

Liam, again, people would think Liam is quite public and we know a lot about him but if you pay close attention, it's not the case at all. We don't know anything other than what we are told by the press or what we see. This is the case for all of them but as we know, from recent videos that Liam has done, there are a lot of other factors at play and a lot of distortion of stories and such that happens that we will never truly understand, we can only look out for it.  [another side note: IMO Liam is the full package he’s got the vocal range, the lyrical range, the melodies the dance moves, the fashion but he got so sabotaged and that pisses me off so much.]  Liam had always been the spokesperson for One Direction whilst in the band. Some people, particularly some groups of ‘fans’ or newer fans think that all his talking about 1D is him ‘trying too hard’ or whatever else to bash him. But the truth is, if you look closer, he never really stopped being the spokesperson for the band. He speaks on all of their solo endeavours, all of their achievements, indulges the nostalgic fans and is the one who most openly shows his support, he still holds the role of the spokesperson, just in a different manner. 

At a point you would seldom hear them talk about their One Direction days, unless you are the spokesperson... [it has become more frequent now], which is understandable as they are now Solo artists and perhaps wanting away from that image, but it is also quite curious in a way. But that is best left for another ramble. However, up until recently, I feel like the boys who have spoken the most about the band have been, in a sense, allocated to speak more on the topic than others [Personally I link this to the Politics comment, I’ll explain a little later on] But I find it interesting as to the different reactions we get from certain groups about each member when they do speak about their time in One Direction. Typically, Harry and Niall are met with positive reactions, with a few exceptions of course. Zayn sits in between, some of it gets regarded with nostalgia, other reactions are positive and hopeful and then the outright negativity too. Louis again sits in the middle. Liam however, you do of course get nostalgia and of course positive reactions from his fans and some OT5 fans. However, this is severely outweighed by the negativity he receives for it from *certain* ‘fans’ and some newer fans and just general people who like to jump on the hate bandwagon [side note: my god I miss 2013/2014 1D Twitter].

I’m not sure how many remember ‘Weed Gate’, how this was in a way at the time ‘damaging’ to the clean image they had and how much shit it was speculated to have caused behind the scenes, involving Zayn and Louis. 

Louis and Zayn take a video doing weed in a car in one of the Peru (where weed isn’t illegal) on tour, there started some articles that make it sound like Zayn was sick or addicted to drugs. I feel like this was also a big player in how things turned out, Zayn took most of the heat from this and from our end it looked like no one did a thing to help. [We don't know what happened BTS]. Particularly interesting from this headline was the reiterating of the ‘squeaky clean image’, not long after this there were articles about 1D not getting along that came out of nowhere, particularly about how Harry was really angry with them and such. Even more interestingly disgustingly, Zayn took on most of the heat from this despite Louis also being in the video. 

Not long after this, Zayn missed some promo interviews and the album release in Orlando because of 'illness’, they get asked on the Today show if it’s actually because of drugs [entirely inappropriate] Liam, [looking pissed] reiterated it was a stomach bug. it would also be poignant to point out that Zayn looked very unwell at the time [I would think this would be regarding the eating disorder he previously mentioned] but many thought and press stated it as being related to drugs. At the time he was also, as he did throughout his time in the band, until this very day in fact, received disgusting prejudice and hate based on his religion and ethnicity. 

To touch lightly on the politics comment: obviously, we won't know the full extent. But if one were to speculate on the matter; we know certain people had been trying to pinch Harry since pretty early on in the band, so it would make sense that some of the comments Zayn made about the contracts make a lot of sense, I feel like it also links well with what Louis said about Harry calling the Hiatus. 

‘Certain people didn’t want to sign contracts,’ This line is so vague, but at the same time, I feel like it could be linked to a number of things. It could have been Harry wanting to leave to go solo. If you believe in Larry and Ziam it could have been a harsher contract regarding keeping them hidden with more shit attached. It could have been regarding the music they make, ridiculous NDA’s or any number of things, the speculation could be endless. However, it further reiterates the point that we can never understand fully what was at play behind the scenes, as much as we would like. But one thing we did see was how the boys went from being seemingly happy, excited and relatively carefree to burdened, exhausted and jaded which is somewhat self-explanatory [fuck 1DHQ]. I was going to add a bit about their images regarding the politics but I believe that is best left for another post.

If you think the boys are free/ ever have been, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but I doubt that has ever been the case, be that within the band or as solo artists. Feel free to check out this post if you require more insight, https://www.tumblr.com/yaz-the-spaz/662781923367747584?source=share. I don't think we could ever understand, nor will we ever know the extent of what the boys were/ have been put through. Hence why they all say they have a special bond because only they understand. I feel as though villainizing any particular member is very harmful, because at the end of the day at the time they were kids doing something so amazing that hadn't really been done on that scale before. What I do find gross is the fact that some refuse to speak up about the unnecessary hate certain groups give to other members [that again is another post entirely]. At the same time, it is important to remember whilst it might seem like other members have more freedom than others, which could be the case, it doesn't mean any of them are entirely free.

I’d say back to my point, but I wasn't particularly trying to make one in this post, this was simply an info/ speculative ramble, you don't have to agree with what has been said. But if you did read through, I’d love to, respectfully, of course, hear your thoughts, and opinions on everything. I will make posts on everything I’ve said requires its own post because I feel as though there is a lot to talk about on a number of topics so they will come in due time. 

At the end of the day, as Zayn [and Liam in the past] said; “You know, we’ve done crazy things with each other and that nobody else in the world will ever understand or have them. Experiences that we've shared.”

But yeah, all in all, it was good to hear Zayn talk about his chickens and describe himself as a chill, funny and loving guy because it's so much more true to him than being painted as mysterious and I love that for him.