#and they both need real love and validation from people who aren’t using them

[ominousflags]

Not to be the person that’s like “this piece of queer media is like x piece of queer media” but—more popular than Good Omens is the Heartstopper franchise, especially among young people. I think in terms of “who is worse: Crowley or Aziraphale” (which to me is a bonkers argument to even have) we can learn a bit from how social realist media (aka Heartstopper) portrays queer love facing barriers.

Part of Nick Nelson’s character development is his realization that even with the best intentions and his deep care for Charlie, he is inadvertently hurting him by keeping their relationship secret and not being ready to come out, which is *still* a valid need of Nick’s, as someone figuring out and coming to terms with his sexuality among an often hostile peer group.

He decides ultimately that whatever his own hang ups are, they aren’t worth the pain it was causing Charlie to be kept a secret. But crucially, the narrative never demonized Nick for having those difficulties in the first place even if his actions seemed from the outside quite uncaring and similar to Charlie’s former abusive relationship with Ben. The narrative allows them both the grace to take that next step together and places the blame not on Charlie for being too sensitive or on Nick for being hesitant to come out right away, but on the outside forces making it hard for them to be openly in love.

So I think the grace the reader and the narrative gave to Nick and Charlie is the same grace that Good Omens is trying to get us to feel for Crowley and Aziraphale. It doesn’t mean they don’t both say and do things that hurt the other, or that they are both perfect examples of emotional maturity (part of the comedy actually comes from how emotionally immature they each are), but that even they deserve the chance to figure it out. The blame shouldn’t be placed on Aziraphale as an abusive partner (because come on) or on Crowley for being a demon or too sensitive or a victim, but the entire show is about how the blame lies with the institutions of Heaven and Hell and how we can read those allegorically as a stand in for the same social barriers facing actual real queer humans today. Idk I’m just like I think it’s pointless to be waging a Crowley vs Aziraphale war when it comes to which character deserves our sympathy and grace because like, the entire point is that they both do. They both deserve the grace they each show humanity and that their respective “offices” never showed them.

[vicyvn]

I love how Apo processes the outside world, accepts his inner world, and separates but reconciles these two together.

I love watching MileApo's deep talks and both of their mindsets intrigue me. As for Apo, he often gives me an immense sense of acceptance and empathy for the self that I - an outsider - also feel validated and healed.

As a psychotherapist, the things I cherish the most when I sit with my clients in each session are congruence and authentic. These 2 virtues aren’t only ‘I telling the truth’, ‘I don’t lie to you', but also ‘I’m honest with myself’, ‘I know what I’m feeling & I’ll embrace it fully'. To me, a person's sincerity with themselves is even more important than what they say to outsiders – because people can only be honest with themselves when they know their self clearly and can accept the ugliest, most gentle, most fragile part deep inside their soul.

Sound easy, right? Everyone says ‘Accept yourself!”, “Be yourself!”; but the thing is not many people know who they are to accept and be themselves. Why? Because humans are heavily influenced by society, education, and relationships. This is very good since we are social entities that can only thrive surrounded by other people. But the flip side of this is that many times we don't know what are others' characters, what are ours; and there are times when we have a hunch that what people push on us isn't right, but we don't dare, or don't know how to get rid of that 'not right' feeling. As a result, we are confused and miserable without understanding what is going on with and within us. It takes a lot of courage and practice to be able to really listen and be faithful to oneself; thereby knowing who I really am, being real with myself, and limiting the influence of others on me.

With Apo, through what he shared, I can see that freedom plays an important role in the process of growing up, especially freedom of will. He is independent, disciplined, stable, and confident in the path he decides. He also understands very clearly what he lacks and what he needs to do to push himself without becoming self-destructive - my favorite psychologist once said "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change" and Apo is the personification of this sentence.

Apo is so real that it makes me feel both close and far away. He lives in his own world, he knows which part can be opened to invite others in, which part he will need to take care of and protect more carefully - Only those who truly understand and cherish themselves can do that. When I work, Apo-like clients are the most interesting and I also learn a lot from them. For me, Apo is really a wonder.

[gingerylangylang1979]

Black women who ship Carmy x Sydney, please take care of yourselves

This is written from a place of love, not condescension or trying to spank or belittle anybody. 

I guess I’m just growing concerned about many black women in this fandom feeling bad about this ship in a number of ways and some trends I see that aren’t healthy and uplifting. What I say may make some people angry. Some people may feel I’m dismissing legit concerns or lived experiences. I’m sure I’ll get blocked by some. Oh well. I'm gonna speak my truth. All I’m trying to do is give much needed perspective and say the quiet parts out loud.

When I see black women repeatedly literally letting this shit make them upset and enraged at every turn, daily, it’s a bit alarming to me. If one's happiness is so swayed by the whims of perception of a ship it’s a bit unsettling. Why let this shit have so much power over your mood and enjoyment? It’s just a show. But I think for many it’s way deeper than that and that’s not being kind to oneself or fair to the creators and performers. 

I’ll say this, I know there is misogynoir, and both conscious and unconscious bias involved in a lot of the reactions we are seeing about this ship. I’ve spoken to it. But I think a lot of us are failing to see the nuance of the whole picture and are making everything literally black & white and a cause for outrage and panic. Where I see misogynoir is most at play is in how fans view Ayo/Syd and as an extension Carmy x Sydney. Where I don’t see it particularly in play is how the cast and crew speak about the ship. 

Every time an article comes out denying the ship the knee jerk reaction is hating on Storer and Calo like they don’t want the ship to happen because Syd is black. I just don’t see any evidence of that or need to assume bad intentions. If you trust what you are seeing and think it’s endgame that contradicts Storer and Calo not wanting the ship for racist reasons.

I know what has happened with other BW/WM ships but I just don’t see that here. The romantic undercurrents are just too heavy and they greatly respect Syd as a stand alone character and Ayo as an actress and creator in her own right. Are they going to get everything you want right? No. But they are trying. Does that mean we will get everything we want with her/them? Not necessarily. The same can be said for any of these characters. Just trust what you're seeing, the intentionality is there even if it isn’t validated in media about the show. 

But because she is a black woman we are more invested and more focused on her treatment. That’s fine, let’s uplift her, and protect her. But what I see is a somewhat unhealthy attachment to viewing her as somehow being wronged at every turn. I get it. But I also think it’s not beneficial to be almost looking for her to be wronged in places where it isn’t true. If the ship isn’t being validated in the media and Carmy isn’t kissing her and declaring his love next season it's not sidelining, it’s storytelling, and it’s a slow burn. Some of the same people talking about they want a slow burn I guarantee will be up n arms if Carmy x Sydney are further apart next season, which I think will happen. That's what happens in these romances. But the first thing people will jump to is the writers don't want them together because she is black and the first article denying the ship will have people ready to ride at dawn.

I think it’s just difficult for some to come to terms with how this is going to play our over time and what that really means because she is a black woman character and we want the most for her. They will have ups and downs. Yes, Carmy dated someone else. There is pressure to validate her in so many ways that just aren’t necessarily going to be satisfied on all levels and I think some are making it way personal to a degree that isn’t necessarily warranted. 

Whatever happens with Syd isn’t going to correct the history of the black woman's experience in the media or real life. It will be a monumental event if they go canon, for sure, but I think some people are getting way too emotional and angry if every little thing doesn’t go how they want with her and Carmy. I also see a bit of trying to make other elements validate Syd as a black woman and by extension validate oneself. 

The insistence from some that Ayo and Jeremy have something going on or Jeremy’s performance is rooted in feelings for Ayo is so strange to me. Why? I think some people need to feel like Jeremy has feelings for her because he’s the hot white lead to validate her as a black woman. As excellent as Jeremy is as an actor do people really think he has to actually be in love with Ayo to get the performance we are seeing? He’s just extremely good at his job. I don’t think he has to do that with any other emotions he is portraying so why this need to have him be in love to make the performance resonate? 

I’ve also seen people trying to make a connection with the fact that he’s been seen with a biracial black woman as somehow meaning the next step is he should be with a monoracial black woman and connecting that with him and Sydney. Why? I saw a post that was questioning why this woman isn’t dark skinned with kinky hair as if he’s obligated to date someone that looks “black enough” to validate the attractiveness of dark skinned black women. This post also seemed to be super invested in that because that’s what they look like and want to feel Jeremy should be attracted to them. It’s not the first time I’ve seen this and it always makes me cringe and feel deeply sorry for that person.

I think it’s cool he’s dating a WOC but I have no entitlement or expectation that he go darker and nappier to prove anything to me or the public. And it has no bearing on if he would find someone who looks like me attractive in a sexual way or the same for his character. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn’t. What does it matter? If he is told to kiss Ayo onscreen, he will, because he’s a professional. Why are people making it so personal who he chooses in his real life? It just seems extremely insecure and projecting. If he dates someone else who is white white or another race that’s not black, is that going to hurt feelings? He doesn’t like “belong” to black women now. Jokes about it are funny but internalizing it as validation is dangerous. 

I also see this in an intense desire to have another white character be in the love triangle. If you just want someone else in the picture, fine. But I feel like there is this big desire to have it be another white man when Marcus has been there the whole time. I don’t ship her with Marcus (well, I did for a minute when I was enraged with Carmy) but it’s because I don’t think it’s where her heart is. But I also don’t see Marcus as a non-viable option. But since he’s not the white boy of the month, it’s not as appealing or viewed as big of a win for some if she’s with him or he’s the only suitor. People have mentioned Connor as a potential. Ok, yeah, I can see it based on the evidence presented, but I hope it isn’t viewed as a like let’s boot Marcus so this white boy who sorta superficially looks like Carmy is the rival. Maybe it can be a love square and three men fight for Syd, but I don’t want to discredit Marcus just because another curly haired white boy with blue eyes shows up. 

And lastly, if your emotional well being is so super effected about what happens to Sydney and it’s so entangled with feelings of being marginalized to the point that it’s distressing and your hyperfocused on every detail as a win or lose, I think you need to consider why and understand her being with Carmy isn’t going to heal anything. A lot of fans project personal issues onto characters and it’s just never going to fill an emotional hole or be a substitute for racial justice.

I saw someone post recently that this ship is a coping mechanism. And honestly it shouldn’t be. Just like Claire can’t fix Carmy, shipping Carmy x Sydney and hoping they are canon isn’t going to fix anything. If this is a fun outlet for you and a way to spend free time, great. But I wouldn’t link being in the fandom and shipping with self care. It’s too volatile to be tethering your emotional well being to. That’s like putting your healing in the hands of writers, media, and fandom when you should be in control of your journey. I think it’s cool to relate to the characters and be invested in their story but it can get kind of messy and parasocial if you put too much personal weight on outcomes regarding the show.  

So, I just want us to be more positive and focus on the wins with this character and Ayo. And also focus on the future. That doesn’t mean ignore the shenanigans. But I think so much attention is focused on the negative that not enough credit is being given to the bravery of having a dark skinned black woman as the co-lead, having her be her own person with her own struggles and nuances, having her most likely also be an unconventional romantic lead, having Ayo be the breakout star she is, having her get EP credits and directing next season, how she is a cover star, how she is multi-talented, how she is praised by everyone who works with her, how she is the IT girl. And I think this story will do her justice in the end.

[museofthepyre]

do you know what everyones problem with elijah is? Im new to to fandom and im so genuinly confused as to why people seem to like think elijah is the worst (as in evil) character in the series. like i dont think people find him poorly written, they just, dont like him? which is fine yknow like who you like, but then people act like jedediah is a flawed but good character? which confused me a lot since I actually dislike jedediah more, as he just hurts in a more personal way it feels like. Elijah was sweeping Sydney in with promises of love that he hadnt gotten from jedediah, sydney only accepted that because of the way jedediah had been shunning him for years. It really bothers me that people forgive jedediah for his bad behavior, but then crucify elijah for behavior that while yes was very bad, had been hurting syndey way less for way shorter, and the only reason sydney was that vulnerable was because of jedidiah. Im asking because i am genuinly confused and I cant find anyone talking about the why of disliking elijah, i dont know if im missing something because of personal bias (jedidiahs mistakes that hurt sydney hit much closer to home than elijahs) sorry if this is a bit rambly, Im just very disenheartened to see so many people say they hate elijah when I just dont understand why, you dont need to answer this ask btw its mainly just curiousity

I think you kind of touched on the answer a bit already- imo it definitely comes down to what hits closer to home for any given listener. We all have unconscious biases. We all consume media through the lens of our own life experiences, and… ok ramble incoming

Elijah and Jedidiah both think/ behave in ways that are profoundly human, they represent very real concepts (see my whole Jedidiah= unhealthily distant, withdrawn and cold attachment style, and Elijah= unhealthily obsessive, suffocating and intense attachment style rant). These aren’t your typical innately evil villains, they’re just unhealthy people with warped ideas of love. That is an all too common thing to see irl. I think because of that… many of us can relate one or both of them to people we‘ve known in our own lives… alternatively, we can relate them to ourselves. I’ve heard some people say that Elijah’s actions hit a nerve because of past traumas with toxic relationships… aaand I’ve heard people say the exact same thing about Jedidiah! I think Elijah receives more scrutiny because his actions were… well they were actions. Visible, overt, right in front of you. You can point at them, pick a line from the transcript and say “that right there is bad”. Jedidiah’s wrongs often came in the form of neglect and abandonment, an absence of action, that’s so much harder to pinpoint. Maybe he’s slipping under people’s radars? Maybe more people see themselves in him and have a sense of understanding (which is valid, he embodies some very relatable neurodivergent struggles). Maybe it’s because he steps up and works on himself by the end and we don’t see that from Elijah (yet). Maybe people find Elijah “worse” because he reminds them of a more common negative experience, I’m not sure. One could speculate.

I’ll speak personally as an example of what I mean: I am wayyyyyyy more upset by Jedidiah’s actions. And that’s because of… you guessed it… my own personal experiences and how they influence my perception 🎉🎉🎉 I’ve got BPD, and I have an all consuming fear of abandonment. The idea of loving somebody and then having them suddenly withdraw, avoid you, and treat you coldly all the while providing NO EXPLAINATION WHATSOEVER… just leaving you to spiral and pick apart your own behaviours under a microscope, thinking you must be the problem— it’s a major trigger of mine. I’ve lived it!!! I grew up with it!!!!! It hits a huge sore spot for me and I admittedly struggle to overlook that sometimes when I see him.

Conversely, Elijah… I unfortunately connect with in a much deeper way. My own default attachment style is obsessive, intense, and often leaves me tunnel-visioned and unstable (…BPD), and he speaks a language I understand? If that makes sense. I see so much untreated, pre-awareness me in him. I know what it is to be involuntarily engulfed by an all-consuming obsession/ delusion. He doesn’t scare me, because I know what he’s made of- I see what’s beneath it all when I look in the mirror. Or at least that’s the lens through which I interpret him, I’m sure many disagree and yk what? Absolutely valid!!!!

There’s no one correct way to consume media, yada yada you get the idea, CHNT is unique because no character is intentionally malicious or evil (not counting Adam maybe… Lucille you’re on thin ice) and it’s fascinating how there’s such a dichotomy between the love and hate for these two. I may have swayed a bit off topic I just have many thoughts. I might come back with more later.

Ok rant over 🪱

[basmathgirl]

Hi!

Due to personal reasons I wasn’t able to watch the 60th DW anniversary episodes when they aired. But now I’m caught up on everything and I have some thoughts and questions(?) about the Doctor and Donna’s famous platonic relationship.

And I think I need a bit of clarification first. Everyone likes to talk about their friendship, their platonic relationship, about them being platonic soulmates… And yes that is true, especially after the 60th anniversary. However I always assumed, when they met the second time (s4e1), Donna tried to find the Doctor, not just because she wanted to go on an adventure, but also because she was somewhat attracted to him as well.???

But I guess I read her character and the situation in e1 of s4 completely wrong, because I used to think her saying that he is an alien streak of nothing and she would never consider him in a romantic manner, especially in the moment immediately after him stating he just wants a friend, was more a way to protect herself and her feelings than anything else.

Don’t get me wrong I love their friendship and I’m glad she didn’t pine for him like some other companions did. But saying it was platonic from the very start for both of them always seemed wrong to me.?🤔

As I mentioned I just finished watching the anniversary episodes and although I loooved them, a part of me is a tiny bit annoyed that the fandom (not the DW fandom overall, but the Donna x Doctor fans) readily embraced the “they are just friends” scenario. I mean in truth there is nothing to complain about really, we got a happy ending and I never expected them to become canon in the first place. (The Doctor rarely has real romantic relationships in canon anyway, except when he does...🙄) But even people who shipped them before, are now just basking in this platonic setting they presented us, and push the Donna x Doctor idea away. At least it seems like this to me.

And I know their relationship is super special nonetheless. They are soulmates! But I guess I wanted more for Donna... She always seemed like a very passionate person. Someone who deserved something special in every area of her life. Someone who would have or would want to have passion, something special and meaningful when it comes to their love life as well. And her relationship with Shaun just doesn’t look like it is something like this. But of course we only witnessed a small part of their life and they are already married for 15 years. Plus relationships don’t have to be loud, dramatic and flashy to be happy and fulfilled. But the words Donna used to talk about Shaun and their marriage are somewhat telling in my opinion. Moreover I would dare to argue that it is very obvious that he loves her a lot more than she loves him…

I just know if they had set up the relationship between the Doctor and Donna differently from the very beginning, gave it more room for interpretation, this whole arc, where they are separated for over a decade and then found each other again could have been a great love story. I mean it is, a great love story, but you know what I’m getting at.

In the end it is probably the best to remind myself that DW isn’t about sappy love stories anyway...🤷‍♀️

Sorry you didn’t get to watch the 60th specials until recently, as there’s always a buzz to watching stuff sort of along with other people.

Ah, the ‘platonic relationship’ that many non-shippers refer to; which is their right to do so, but you won’t find me thinking that way. Donna was not immune to the Doctor’s looks, she just chose to ignore the issue. After all, why did she react with a knee-jerk panic when he mentioned wanting a mate? It certainly hit a nerve, caused by past experience, or secretly liking the look of him. “They fell for each other” David Tennant said about the Doctor and Donna at the end of The Runaway Bride so it is perfectly valid to assume she wasn’t just seeking a quick trip in the TARDIS when she sought him out. I mean, a whole year? For someone you aren’t attracted to? That’s a long time to look for someone you’re just after a job/experience from.

She called him a long streak of nothing to stop him thinking she fancied him, because she didn’t want to embarrass herself by being rejected. She wanted a meaningful relationship, not a quick bunk up.

During the 50th anniversary celebrations, they interviewed some of the past Doctors about how they felt about the romantic angle that occurs in nu!Who. Apart from the general disgust romance was included, Peter Davison said an interesting thing. He felt certain that, if Donna had been given another series with the Doctor, they’d have ended up in a physical non-platonic relationship (shall we say). But DT did state once that the Doctor is asexual, so take from that what you will.

The biggest obstacle for TenxDonna shippers where the Fourteenth Doctor is concerned is Shaun Temple. Do you condone  adultery and ship them, kick Shaun out of the way somehow, or leave them as platonic best friends? It’s a conundrum, but most of the shippers I know have decided the marriage between Donna and Shaun had ended long ago and they are hanging on to their tepid relationship by the skin of their teeth, just because of Rose Temple. In RL this would be true; so I’m perfectly happy to go along with it.

I completely agree with you: Shaun loves Donna a lot more than she loves him. You don’t describe your husband as merely ‘nice’; and she only said “I love you” to his face to get him to take Rose to safety. As Wilf said in the café, she was making do, and her chat with Sylvia about missing someone underlines that fact.

RTD wrote The Runaway Bride as a romcom gone wrong. There are even aspects of that in Partners In Crime. The companion in S4 was supposed to be the love of the Doctor’s lives; and when CT was cast that plan was ditched and Rose Tyler was promoted into that spot, for a while. Hmm. Makes you think, eh? Because all that has been sort of reversed thanks to the 60th anniversary specials. Their reunion could have been a great love story, but under the supervision of RTD it was never going to be that, let’s be honest here. He has always had an ulterior agenda to shoehorn Rose into everything, and he managed it through the metacrisis resolution.

Just remind yourself, love, that although Doctor Who has never been about sappy love stories (can’t upset the watching sexist dads, can we), the fanfiction has ALWAYS been dominated by sappy love stories; and long may it continue to do so! 😉☺️

[ceo-of-kimona]

What to do with Scott…

A question that many many Kimona enjoyers face in our time is thus: “where the hell do we put Scott Pilgrim?”

The guy is a weird case. He’s the main character, the damn series was named after him, he’s integral to the life and stories of both of these women. Although; he is also a massive cockblock (or vag block?? Idk) and must be obliterated in order for the two to be happy. So, to prevent Kimona fic writers (also known as the greatest and most noble heroes of our time) from needing to contend with this great query again, I shall compile a list of potential things you could do with Scott to get him the hell out of the way. In no particular order.

1. Break Scott and Ramona up

Probably the most direct and simple answer, especially if you’re going for a more cannon compliant, post cannon universe. Though it does kinda invalidate all of the shit they got through to get together if they just split up like that. So I suggest that if you do break them up, make it on good terms. Make it so that it’s mutual and mutually beneficial and mature. Less of a “I hate you and I never want to see you again” and more of a “it was fun, you helped me a lot, but now we gotta go our separate ways in life.” Their development shouldn’t be rendered moot by the breakup, instead make the breakup part of their development.

2. Create an AU where Scott does not exist

A fairly easy one, if Scott doesn’t exist, you can just go along your merry way with your shipping. Fics where Kim finds Ramona before Scott or fics where Scott doesn’t ever fall in love with Ramona for whatever reason also fall under this category. These are good, but a bit bland. There isn’t a great lot you can tell here cause Scott’s douchery kinda holds together the plot pretty much. It is only by him being a rat-ass fuckboy that anyone ever meets anyone in the comics. Also, without having her relationship with Scott, Ramona just doesn’t have her vital character arc that the relationship brings. She’s always gonna be the same ol Flowers when she comes to Kim.

So unless you plan on retelling the entire story of the… everything with Kim instead of Scott, you’ve gotta very flighty and traumatized Ramona Flowers on your hands for the entire fic. Now, this is perfect for angst fics, as using pre-arc flaws to create a tragedy has been a a tool for angst fics since god damn Shakespeare. Also fluff doesn’t really need the “primest character development” in order to be good, so if you’re planning to either make angst or simple fluff then AU is your best bet. If you wanna make something more cannon compliant or lighthearted yet complicated, you’re out of luck.

3. Polycule

Self explanatory. Why not have both? Keep Scott and Ramona’s cute dynamic; and just bring Kim into the mix. While this can be very fun (I’m actually writing a fic where this happens at the moment) it isn’t great for every fic. Cause let’s face it: if you’re here and queer for Kimona, so maybe you do not want to write for the feelings of the dude who got here first so he’s also tagging along. Some people just don’t wanna write Scott, which is perfectly valid. Also, polycules are messy and complicated, both in real life and in fic writing. While complications can create some good drama, it’s also a lot of moving parts to manage. You aren’t getting a Kimona + Pilgrim fic down to 2k words without sacrificing a lot. This one is not built for oneshots or general Pilgrim-haters.

4. Send him off to be with Wallace

Probably one of my favorite options to use. It’s kinda an extension of the “breakup” idea, but it gives a happier ending for Scott, as it lets the breakup make sense. Scott falls in love with Wallace and can’t bear the pining so he communicates with Ramona about it, and they mutually agree that it’s for the better for them to split so he can be with Wells. It also will keep the Scollace shippers at bay, may their apocalyptic wrath be kept at bay /s.

If you don’t really have much stuff outside of Kimona in your fic and don’t know how to get Scott out of the picture, try this one. Just throw in a sentence about Scott being with Wallace and everything will make sense and be chill. Truly an option for us lazy bitches out there who just want yuri. It can also potentially set up some Scollace content later down in the fic if it comes to be of a larger scale, but if you just want your yuri you can throw out a “Scott is with Wallace” line and not need to elaborate further, we get it. All around a flexible, powerful, potent, and fun option. Though if you have any Wallace pairings already set up in your fic and you can’t fit Scollace in, this option obviously won’t be that useful to you.

So…

That’s all of the “bye bye Scott pilgrim” tropes for Kimona fics that I could think of. Now for which one is the best… prepare yourself, the answer is disappointing.

None of them!

No one of these is always gonna work for everything. These tropes are all just tools in your toolbox at the end of the day, and which one you use is up to what you’re writing and how you’re feeling. So don’t be afraid to try multiple of these for your fics, throw shit against the wall like spaghetti. Maybe you’ll find something new that you’ll like.

But that’s enough yapping from me. Now go forth and WRITE!

[stergeon]

Sorry if this seems sudden, but what are your thoughts on a Young Edelgard befriending a Young Byleth who canonically doesn't have friends due to how people are afraid and creeped out by her behavior?

Yea, the tragedy is how Byleth has nobody their age to connect with as well as most not getting them to the point of dehumanization until Garreg Mach, but it's neat to think of.

ohhhh tbh i love this… in my mind, young edelgard is very precocious, but also extremely coddled (comes with being royalty) and kind of oblivious/condescending without meaning to be. “aren’t all tutors dreadful? hm? you don’t have lessons? what do you do all day? what?? you work??? is that allowed????”

like, well-meaning with a strong sense of justice, and genuinely curious about other people’s lives, but without a frame of reference for anything yet.

and young byleth, as you say, would have been intimidating to be around lol. an eerie and serious kid who probably learned how to kill a man not long after she learned to walk. i see her as being affable in the sense that she just kind of goes along with whatever situation she’s in, without any investment in it one way or another beyond doing what she’s told, but she would definitely be confused by other kids and struggle hard with social cues, etc. until she gets sufficiently good at reading people as to passably mask. it’s a very lonely and difficult way to live.

i could absolutely see edelgard running into this weird little girl and adopting her on the spot. “why don’t people play with you. what do you mean, you don’t know how to play. we’re going to play a game right now; so there.” edelgard is nothing if not driven and dedicated to the causes she believes in (and her massive savior/martyr complex doesn’t help lol—she’s already adopted one local weirdo by becoming besties with hubert). so i think if she set her mind to being byleth’s friend, she would make it happen. this kid is now her personal project. they WILL be friends.

and i reckon that friendship would do wonders for byleth. she had so little interaction with anyone her age in her youth, and having one real friend might make all the difference for her. edelgard could help ground her, and help her better understand the world they live in, and keep her in touch with her humanity—or, really, help her discover it in the first place. meanwhile, edelgard could learn a LOT from byleth, who’s spent her life unhoused* and pretty much living paycheck-to-paycheck with jeralt’s band of violent (and likely alcoholic, per jeralt and alois) mercs. byleth could lend her some perspective and further shape edelgard’s love for the people of fódlan, as well as her understanding of what kinds of societal changes are needed to make things better for everyone.

who knows, that connection might even lead sothis to emerge earlier…

the concern, of course, is jeralt, who (for debatably valid reasons) never wants to stay anywhere for too long, and probably would get super freaked out by the idea of his kid hanging around one of the heirs of the adrestian empire. whether they’d actually have enough time to become friends… idk.

but kids are funny when they set their minds to something. i’d like to think edelgard would decide, day one, that they’re friends, and friends help each other, so that’s what she’s going to do. i’d like to think that when edelgard found out byleth’s group would be leaving again soon, she’d use that big brain of hers and coax her father into hiring the mercenaries on for a long-term mission or as a standing battalion. adrestia’s been on the outs with the church for a good while already, so jeralt might feel comfortable enough to consider putting down roots, even if just for a little longer than usual.

that could REALLY change both byleth and edelgard’s lives. in my little daydream, byleth starts training to be a knight and a personal guard for edelgard, and basically spends as much time around her as hubert does. and maybe, when the insurrection happens edelgard is taken to fhirdiad, hubert stands a better chance of finding her with someone by his side who has spent her entire young life in the woods and on the roads, tracking enemies and avoiding pursuers. maybe they find her. maybe they help prevent some truly terrible things from happening.

what happens from there, idk; so many of edelgard’s views are informed by her experiences and it gets too complicated for my tiny brain to realistically figure out what would occur and who she’d be if it went down like that instead.

but byleth would be changed just by knowing edelgard. having someone in her young life who is invested in her, who sees beyond the fog of the day-to-day, who’s interested in what she wants, who embraces and celebrates her quirks and doesn’t shun her for them, who grants her stability and some agency in her own life… someone who sees her as a person, not just as a sword or set of hands… how could anyone not be changed by something like that?

* with the exception of Whatever The Fuck she was doing while jeralt was parading around in leonie’s village for however long. this is my least favorite plot hole in the game, namely because leonie acknowledges it. “huh. i don’t remember you being there, and you don’t, either. maybe you were with a relative”??? what relative, IS?? how many living relatives does byleth have that aren’t trying to turn her into a mommy-god??? why fake your kid’s death and disappear “for her safety,” just to ditch said kid somewhere with someone for months?????

WHERE WAS YOUR CHILD, JERALT??????

ok i’m done yelling lol. thank you for this ask, this was really fun to think about <3

[alarrytale]

“I'd love Harry in a crop top on stage, but don't give me crop top and him snogging a PR horny Z-list model afterwards. It might have worked for Prince, but we're in much different times now.”

Can you please ellaborate the last sentence? I get what you mean with the previous one because I got to used to the situation that it’s always push and pull with him being as openly gay as possible but then pull back with stunts so gp/het harries actually don’t start to think he’s gay. But do you think Prince was queer but never came out? I never paid attention to him but same as Bowie, both of them had an image of being queer+ their androgynous style but at least Bowie got married with model with he lived until he died.

Hi, anon!

Sure! Prince was a complicated man. This is a good article to get an overview. Regardless of how Prince identified, he took advantage of queer culture to provoke and get attention. What he did was new and boundary-breaking at the time, so he got loads of attention. He then made it his image and brand. The queers loved it at the time because they felt seen, validated and he helped normalise queerness. It was progress. At the same time, he had a bunch of girlfriends, groupies and never actually showed any interest in men. People also claimed he was homophobic. At the very least not lqbtq+ supportive. So from my point of view he was either severely homosexually repressed or he was straight and appropriated queer culture.

Either way, nobody would get away with appropriating queer culture to the extent Prince did today, while at the same time being so overtly heterosexual. Queers want real representation and not someone who's faking it to get attention and make money off of them. They'll feel used. Times have changed. There are out queer artist now who you can support and look up to. Queers get real representation and attention in the mainstream media. Queers don't need to grasp at straws anymore and support straight people who try to fool them into thinking they're getting a role model and take advantage of them.

So what i mean is that Prince got away with it because he had queer support even though he projected straight and maybe even was homophobic. Because he broke boundaries. Someone who is projecting queer on stage and straight in private (like H is) would not have queer support today. It wouldn't break any boundaries. It would rather be a set back. So H might even be cancelled or at least become a persona non grata in social media discourse. Like the article states, today Prince would be accused of appropriating a queer aesthetic. I think there is a chance H might meet that fate. People are already noticing the discrepancy between H on stage performing and H off stage, and 11.6k mill aren’t very happy about it...

[bentosandbox]

some thoughts about Stultifera Navis’s armature 3 ft. Spalter op rec

Part 1 here / Part 2 here

Part 3 of my stupidity and also probably the post most people will be interested in because I accidentally translated the entirety of Spalter’s op rec before I wrote this so I will stick it somewhere...I tried to cover the skaspec dynamic as it went through the event but this is definitely not an exhaustive rundown of their interactions

Spoilers for Stultifera Navis as usual and the op rec

ok first things first There’s a parasite in my brain being like "you know your post sounded kinda ableist lol, you know it yourself that even getting through the day is already hard enough sometimes and you still want to ‘better myself’ lmao" yes yes calm down other me and anyone else I will explain

Basically I think there was a ‘mindless consooming is not good’ message but more importantly,

Recognising issues that aren’t outwardly destructive or seem minor at first glance are still issues worth trying to figure out/improve on: ie. I wish I could have read this story a good 10+ years ago instead of just being like “Well I don’t feel like jumping down a window so I’m fine! I’m fine! (is actually fucking depressed)” and only realise from some random tweet on the bird app that actually, not wanting to live can also be considered being suicidal. Wowza ok back on topic

1 Be cringe and be free

At the beginning of SN Skadi is fretting over Specter’s phasing between her different selves and asking if Gladiia really had to bring her along with them on their journey.

Sometimes when we’re dealing with someone that needs help, when we help them, we forget that they’re still their own person. And then Gladiia says this banger of a line:

BUH BUH BASED?? That’s right this was a swordfish appreciation post after all haha gotcha!! But really though, as Specter gets more and more of her memories back Gladiia is like “nice” but also says they’ll wait for her old self to come back,

And that she’s the same as them, she’s no less normal as they are.

It's not like she's completely 'fine' either; she still struggles with it as they head towards the Ship of Fools ™

o..i love abyssal hunters…. let’s get back on topic

On the boat she finally returns to her ‘old’ self, but says that she doesn’t really mind her nun-sona:

It’s not a real or fake thing, they’re both valid identities to her, she just likes one more.

And even thanks one of the deep-sea cultists for how she ended up like she is now

And outright says that being un-normal is okay!

2 Take it easy

As someone who feels compelled to always spend their time wisely and productively, stories with a ‘its ok to do useless things they're part of life’ message always hit me hard so let's dive(hehe) into Specter’s Operator Record:

In SN Specter says that Gladiia taught her how to dance from when she was small, and the op rec opens with her induction into the Abyssal Hunters

And teaches her how to dance.

It then cuts to Gran Faro after the events of SN where now Specter is teaching Skadi how to dance and then also asks her to teach herself how to sing.

They practice for a moment before Gladiia shows up and tells Skadi that Kalt’sit wants some more tests done, so she leaves for that and our swordfish and shark go for a walk.

While admiring a rocky outcropping with Gladiia, who just sees the rock as “abstract”, Specter offers an alternative; it is beautiful, because its a “coincidence created by time and nature,” as opposed to how statues in Aegir are made; rigid, troublesome, takes a lot of time and resources.

As if they momentarily switch positions of teacher and student, Specter offers Gladiia to try a kind of scale fin snack. Gladiia deems it unnecessary, which Specter agrees to, but offers again anyway.

It may not provide any practical use, but is useful in other ways.

She talks about the beauty of everyday occurrences in nature:

And then invites Gladiia for a dance with them using each other’s names instead of their titles or nicknames:

The temporary erasing of the responsibility of being Abyssal Hunters, the suspension of superior-subordinate hierarchy, a moment shared between just two regular “daughters of the ocean” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes we forget that we can enjoy the most trivial things. Sometimes that smallest useless thing can be what keeps you from falling into the abyss. I know this too personally cough

Gladiia goes back to work and Specter spots Irene heading towards the lighthouse, and follows our little birdie–

Sike surprise rant time. Nevermind the fact during the whole story till the end Specter mostly sees Irene like a little pet bird to play around with, people can ship whatever you want(ther was a really great scene towards the end of the main story too actually), but I’m so fucking tired of EN-only children and their selective reading completely missing the point that Irene basically just went back to her father figure++'s grave(Remember the cool head Inquisitor from UT? He ded) to try and connect to him again because she felt lost and Specter was like cheering her up and these people are just being like GIRLS BE FRUITY!!

Don’t get me wrong either they look cute together but that is probably the worst fucking possible moment to do this. Imagine going to someone's grave and his daughter is standing with someone pretty next to the grave mourning/talking and your reaction is haha don’t they look so gay together!

Before anyone pulls a “It’s not our fault we can’t read CN to read the entire SN to find out he died there!” They literally mention it explicitly in the op rec so you didn’t even have to read the entirety of SN in the first place:

Specter plays with her for a bit trying to cheer her up, but also imparts a very important lesson:

Perhaps I am over reacting because this part hit me the hardest out of all the entire event 😄 I kept wondering if it was wise to keep this whole thing but you know what. it’s my own blog and how can I write about being cringe and free and then do the exact opposite

Before they part, Specter reintroduces herself as the 2 different identities she has now, but it’s not the shark and the nun:

Specter and the Aegirian; her duty and destiny intertwined into one that she cannot and will not escape from, but also herself.

Conclusion: I was trying to install a dark theme on my google sheets I use for translation and this came up and i thought it was very apt so here it is

In Specter1′s second op rec(en loc called it “I, Namely I” but idk I think “I am Me” is more succinct and to the point...) she sings a song (and sings it again in SN)

When she prayed♪The stars ceased to shimmer♪

And when she wept♪The night let out a smile♪

And as she lamented♪The anguish sprawled upon her madness♪

At the end of this op rec she sings it again but puts her own spin on it

When I pray ♪The stars ascend into the night♪

When I dance♪The two moons shed their black veils♪

When I smile♪The sea will witness my joy♪

Man I love stories about coping and dealing with trauma and taking agency;

Nihilism vs Existentialism;

Nothing in life matters! (derogratory) vs Nothing in life matters! (affectionate)

If you like stories like that a very recent and very accessible exploration of this is the kino of the year; Everything Everywhere All At Once yes the whole point of this was to make people go watch it (iirc digital release is next month or so so it should be even more accessible)

My friends also know this too well but I cannot stop recommending Heike Monogatari, directed by Yamada Naoko of Liz and the Blue Bird fame, its only 11 episodes too, it was so good it made me trawl through the entire (modern translation) of the original war epic

Bonus AKA don’t take this seriously unless you want to I guess I cannot stop you

Skaspec is the jesus/judas of Arknights because my friend said so and I believe it (does not provide any evidence) Ok but it’s so funny that Skadi just kuudere’d Specter and comrade zoned her in the op rec lol..you do all that and you’re like “that was just my duty” ok orca

To be honest though I love how Skadi technically has the most ‘monster’ within her(she has the blood of the thing she killed back then within her) but she’s undeniably the most ‘human’ of the trio and to Specter; She misses the old Laurentina so much and wants her back so bad but she also comes to respect that Specter is also part of Laurentina, is also Laurentina herself.

Last but not least

[eulchu]

this is why i need certain people to leave dteam alone cause apparently people now think it’s okay to joke about how dreamnap are together while gnf is alone in london. i literally went onto twitter just to see if there’s anything new on tl and this is the shit i come to -_-

both george and dream we have been told that this has affected their mental health, and all of dteam aren’t motivated to upload bc of it. why tf do these people think it’s okay to make “jokes” to say dreamnap are fucking while gnf is alone, when it’s about something that negatively affects all of them irl ??? sorry but this is why i can’t stand sapnap mains lawl. sure enjoy your sapnap ships but don’t fucking talk about the fact that george still isn’t in florida to validate it

also these people have the nerve to say “it’s not in their boundaries to not make jokes like this”. hmmmm wonder why… maybe it’s cause dteam would expect people to have basic human decency. not everything needs to be made into a boundary when it should be common sense. there are too many people who use “it’s not in their boundaries” to excuse their shitty “jokes” and i hope they choke. exposing themselves as terrible people over /r dreamnap? yikes🤢

i need the meetup to happen for mine and dteams mental health. i’m just sick of any time i check twitter anymore, i see these god awful takes and ik the meetup will make them shut the fuck up at least for a little. genuinely have felt so meh about fandom since Amsterdam happened. i wish people could just be normal about dteam meetup. that’s what’s really makes me annoyed. like there’s no need for people to joke about it still not happening <<which also was happening with twitchcon when people would tag dream saying they met george before him>>. you can talk about being excited and what you think we’ll see from them post meetup, not about hahahah george is alone, dream sap fucking and in love

some people are so incredibly disrespectful and gross and for what, to get a raise out of other fans? no stupid "ship war" or whatever will be worth putting the animosity over real life relationships and i really need people to drill it into their brains.

shipping might be within the dteam's boundaries but not being an asshole is literal fucking common decency. i don't care if it's a joke, use your brain and learn to read the damn room. it stops being funny it stops being a "ship war" when you involve real feelings and real circumstances about real friendships. fuck off and die srs

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Hello ☺️ so I went out with my coworkers and was kinda a date for me and another coworker because we knew we liked each other and was an opportunity for us to get together. I'm a girl and his a boy and we're both kinda bi. He seemed like a nice guy but then noticed couple red flags. First, I caught me saying to his friends he is a sociopath jokingly but idk if it was for real as well as idk this guy very well. Secondly, his finger nails were dirty and when I asked him why he said he was gardening before he came. Like how can u forget to wash your hands before u go out especially if u know the girl u like gonna be there! That's strange to me. But I let it slide. He confessed to me that he is autistic (highly functioning) and I never had close relationships with a guy who is autistic so I am not sure what to do. The fact that he said he's a sociopath really worries me though and so I think I will cut him off. But then again I'm a very compassionate person who loves everyone so idk. I have a hard time making decisions so I thought if you could please give me advice, I mean what would u do? 💕💕💕

Hello :)

I just want to preface that I’ve never been in a situation like this so maybe just take my words with a grain of salt - also I don’t know either of you so there might some nuisances I’m missing. If you feel comfortable doing so making sure you maybe talk to other people who knows you guys could be helpful!

I personally don’t know if I would call having dirty nails a red flag per se , but it’s definitely something that gives me the ick. It would be a turn off for me but that’s just because I’m fussy with dirty stuff lol. But that doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy for having it , it could just be an incompatible part of you guys. It’s okay to not want to be with him for it, but that doesn’t mean it’s a red flag.

As for the autism part , I’m not diagnosed with autism so this is out of my area of expertise, but I do know everyone with Autism is a bit different and has different needs. Open communication is the best part!! Doing research and just asking questions on what makes him comfortable or what to avoid will go along way. It doesn’t necessarily have to change a whole lot about what you guys do , you just might have to do it a bit differently so everyone is happy as comfortable and getting their needs met :) But I can’t really give you specifics on what to do, only he can do that, so as long as you are open to communication and compromising I think it should be fine :) (also I don’t know if the community uses high functioning anymore?? I don’t know some might , I’m not super well versed in that )

As for the sociopath, again, that’s not a diagnosis I have , but from what I have seen and read the cultural narrative of sociopath doesn’t really always line up with what it actually is. Sociopath doesn’t mean abusive, I could be wrong but I think it’s just someone’s ability to feel types of empathy. So he’s not necessarily a bad guy for it. There’s a big stigma around that illnesses so I think doing research and just talking to him about what it means for him could go a long way!

HOWEVER in saying all that you don’t have to do anything and you don’t need a big reason for it either. If you just aren’t feeling that connection or you don’t want to pursue that relationship anymore you don’t have to. It’s okay to lose feelings for someone. You aren’t a bad person for it and you don’t need to try and justify with yourself why you don’t want to be with someone. It’s okay to just not like them anymore. And I’m guessing maybe sending this was your way of looking for validation in that regard? Which if so! I’m giving it to you!! 💕💕💕 it’s okay to walk away and not date him. For whatever reason. You don’t need to make him a red flag for that. You just might not like him anymore or feeling incompatible - and that’s okay!! I promise 💕 You aren’t in the wrong for wanting to say no.

But also if you are just a bit anxious because this is new water for you I would REALLY recommend just talking to him and having an honest conversation!! Open communication and setting up boundaries and expectations can really go a long way.

But this definitely sounds like it’s weighing on you so I’m sorry for that :( I know it can be hard to make big decisions like this. You can take your time, there isn’t any rush. And I’m wishing you all the best with it!! 💕💕💕

I hope you have a wonderful day 💕

[isfjmel-phleg]

After having a hankering to rewatch the Kit movie recently, I went back and reread the entire series, and does it hold up! Excuse me while I gush for a moment.

Full disclosure, I am (partially) reading with nostalgia goggles. The first three Kit books came out when I was nine, and I got them for Christmas and loved them. I wouldn’t get to read the rest of the series until much later, but I have fond memories of the earlier books and their familiar phrasing and illustrations.

Reading as an adult, however, I still got a lot of enjoyment out of them.

Kit is such a believable heroine. She’s likeable but has very evident flaws that aren’t glamorized and frequently get her into real trouble. She can be self-absorbed (as nine-/ten-year-olds are), critical, proud, quick to judge. But she gets to learn and grow and has come a long way by the end of the series. I love her.

She’s got more tomboyish interests and is contrasted with Ruthie and her more “girly” interests, but, despite the occasional clashes or impatience that can derive from these differences, the narrative doesn’t present one set of interests as necessarily more valid than another. The girls each have their own thing, but they can still coexist and respect each other.

Ruthie Smithens is an endearing character already, but the addition of a book from her perspective gives her more depth. We see her delight in the companionable chaos of the Kittredge household, as opposed to her own quiet home, with not even a sibling around. We learn that she often plays up her light-hearted persona to cheer others up and that she wants to be taken more seriously. She ends up going on an urgent mission with Kit’s brother Charlie (who doesn’t get much focus in the series proper and gets to be seen from another angle here), and Aunt Millie gets involved, and it’s quite an episode.

Not to mention it also gives us this quote from Ruthie: “I don’t really believe that life always works out happily like fairy tales do, [...] and the wishes-come-true and the happy endings aren’t the only reasons I like fairy tales. I like them because they show that no matter what happens to us, it’s how we act along the way that matters. We still get to choose what kind of people we want to be. And, well, I guess I’d rather be foolish but hopeful about people than smart but stingy and distrustful.”

Which is a fitting follow-up to the book it is set immediately after chronologically, Kit’s Surprise, in which the very practical Kit comes to realize the importance of fiction as a welcome escape from and way to cope with one’s troubles. Practicality and imagination can exist side by side and are both important. I love these girls, I love their friendship, and I also love the trio that forms as the series progresses.

Because Stirling Howard has a really good arc too. Kit initially dismisses him as a sickly nonentity but gradually recognizes that he’s...well, a person, with his own interests and talents and a sly sense of humor. Both children have lost a lot because of the Depression, and they’re dealing with it in different ways and need each other’s support and friendship. His skills and perspective enhance Kit and Ruthie’s dynamic, and being friends with them sends him off on a quiet, gradual self-confidence arc. (By book 5, he voluntarily goes out and gets a job so he can support himself and his mother. At age ten. Impressive, but also kind of sad.)

(Oh, and Kit Learns a Lesson, where the trio finally come together, is quite twisty for a sixtyish-page book. My nine-year-old self was shook at those reveals.)

The supporting cast in general are given more realism and depth than I would expect from a children’s series. The adults’ concerns, which are beyond the scope of our young protagonist’s POV, are evident between the lines; they feel like people.

Valerie Tripp even devotes a whole short story (”Kit’s Home Run”) to giving depth to Mrs. Howard of all people (who otherwise has been almost a caricature of an overprotective mother, at least from Kit’s POV), and I love this. So much of Kit’s story is about understanding the people around her better. What more fitting journey could there be for an aspiring writer?

[nagichi-boop]

Ways me & Submas are similar

Guys I’m not sorry, I gotta self indulge (and answer the question for myself of which twin I relate to more). Also I should note that while I am going to try and stick strictly to canon facts about Submas, some of these will somewhat veer into headcanon territory.

I will include links at the end to a couple of posts by someone who talks in detail about Ingo and Emmet’s personality in the context of them being autistic. This is by no means me suggesting I self dx (tho if you’re a self dxer reading it you’re totally seen and valid!), it’s just that their post includes a lot of references around their personality that I touch on in this post. So if you’re not sure what I’m talking about when I mention an aspect of Submas in a specific piece of media, chances are these posts will include them.

Spoilers for PLA ahead

(Also a few of the points are mildly venty)

Ingo

1. Flat facial expressions

This is mostly covered in Pokémon Masters and the Adventures manga, but Ingo isn’t the best at expressing himself facially. In Pokémas he expresses to the player that he has been told he looks very stern and is shocked when the player tells him that they have never seen him smile.

If I’m deep in thought, I’ll often get someone ask if I’m okay, I guess because I look sad when I’m not rly trying to mask. I also have a specific memory of sitting with my brothers for a picture and trying my best to smile, but my mum told me to smile anyways. I told her I was and one of my brothers told me I needed to stop being depressing. It wasn’t that I was sad (although I don’t particularly like being in photos), it’s just that I can’t really smile on command. I have to be genuinely happy to smile or else I have very awkward expression.

Also this is a side point, but I am bad at showing my emotions I think? For example, if you give me a gift, I have to strain myself to feign excitement. I will usually try and over express in my voice because I’m aware my face probably doesn’t really scream gratitude. I’m not sure if this is more tied to my depression though as it can take quite a bit to get me excited, though I did tear up from happiness when I got my Pokémon Time Sneasel plush so I have no idea. (Please look at pictures of the plush btw, it’s cute as hell- )

2. Loud when excited

Again, Pokémas is the main source of showing this, but when Ingo is excited, he yells “Braavo! Excellent!” very loudly.

Not really much to elaborate on here, but I often get told by my mum to be quiet cuz when I’m excitable (particularly if I’m talking about something that interests me), I start getting loud without realising it.

3. Talk too much about my interests

This is something that both twins share, but Ingo talks a lot about trains, especially when you consider him in Pokémas. I know I keep going back to that game but man does it give us a lot of cool tidbits about the twins.

I struggle a lot with small talk (I’ll touch on this later) but if you ask me a question about something I love and I feel comfortable that you won’t judge me, I will absolutely talk for a long time about such thing. This doesn’t happen much in real life since I hide most of my interests, but as a kid I know I annoyed myself friends because I would often talk about things I liked that they honestly didn’t care or ask about. In a way I’m jealous of Ingo and Emmet because they have each other to talk to about their interests and so aren’t ashamed of it. As for me, I have been unintentionally conditioned by those around me to believe that talking about what I like will make people hate me, so I don’t often get to pop off unless it’s online. Heck, this post is arguably me popping off about an interest.

4. Expressive language to compensate

Unlike Emmet who speaks stiffly (again, coming back to this later), Ingo speaks very formally when he speaks. It’s more apparent in the Japanese translations, but even in the English versions of the BW games, Ingo speaks in much longer sentences and with a more formal tone compared to his brother.

I don’t tend to speak that way because often times in too anxious to go “off script” (another thing I’ll elaborate later), but in terms of written speech, I tend to write a lot more formally in order to give the appearance of maturity. This doesn’t just apply to writing to places like the doctors but also just people in real life. Especially if I’m not comfortable with them, I will often speak in a very “retail person” esc manner - that is to say I try to be friendly and palatable while distancing myself personally in order to seem like a nice person. It’s not that I would say I’m a jerk, it’s just that I’m a lot more goofy and dorky when I don’t put effort into what I’m saying.

5. Speaking in references and puns

This is again something both twins do, but Ingo uses train puns in his everyday vocabulary. This is something that is true across all pieces of media and it just shows how much Ingo (and Emmet) loves trains.

I don’t make train puns, but I definitely do pick up quotes and mannerisms from fictional characters. At school I once said “I’m going to need some more popcorn” as a reference to MLP and to my surprise someone actually picked up on it. I can’t really think of any recent examples of using references in real life, but online I like to try and incorporate things from sources I like. I have started to say “verrry” in messages online and I’m also trialling “cool cool cool”, as a reference to the tv show Community. (If any irl examples come to mind, I’ll edit this section, but I don’t really speak to many people irl and when I do, I try to mask my personality as mentioned earlier.)

Emmet

1. Monotonous speech

I think it’s a bit easier to tell from Emmet’s English lines in Pokémas, but unlike Ingo who is very excitable and expressive in his voice, Emmet seems a lot more subdued. It’s not that he isn’t excited - in fact his facial expressions and body language scream the opposite - but he is a bit more monotonous when he speaks. And though it’s a bit reaching into headcanon territory, it seems possible that Emmet likely tries to “tone down” his excitement so to speak, which may also explain why he isn’t always vocally expressive. (Here’s his Pokémas English voice lines btw.)

If I’m not deliberately putting effort into sounding expressive, I tend to sound quite flat in the way that I speak. It probably doesn’t help much either that I have a rather deep voice. It’s not something I really care about, but when I did a stream a few weeks back on Discord, I did ask later in the stream whether I sounded more feminine or masculine and they said my voice could be interpreted as somewhat neutral. I guess that doesn’t rly mean monotonous, but I definitely sound more “girly” and expressive when I am making an effort to seem social and friendly as opposed to just being myself.

2. Social scripts

In the main series games, Emmet has a very formulated way of speaking. He even says himself that what he says and does doesn’t change, most likely because he scripts what he wants to say so that he is equipped for social situations.

I social script a lot. I often play out situations in my head and try to think of what to say in a variety of different outcomes. And when I speak on the phone, even for very short and simple calls, I often write out a script so that I know what to say as I get very stressed about saying the wrong thing. Even when I don’t expressly have a written script, I tend to repeat certain set phrases in situations. At work, I’d always greet customers with a “hiya”. I did a few times try to change it to “good morning” or “hello”, but I would often chicken out as it felt uncomfortable somehow to switch my greeting. Also, just the other day on the phone, when the doctor was telling me something I kept saying “thank you, that would be really helpful” every time she said what she was going to do to help me. I was aware I was repeating myself, but I couldn’t think of another way to express what I wanted to say.

3. Stimming is verrry fun!!

This is one of those instances where I veer a little into headcanon territory, but a few canon things that Emmet does can be interpreted as stimming. One example is how he walks in the manga. He swings his arms widely as he walks, which is most likely a stim. Him saying “verrry” could also be a sort of verbal stim or tic as well. And although the pointing pose he does with his either is actually a point and call method that train conductors use, some people have pointed out it’s actually quite a fun way to stim.

I don’t really walk like that - in fact my way of walking usually involves me either holding onto my bag straps, fiddling with my hands or doing the good all Raptor Hands ™ because holding my hands by my side feels unnatural to me. But I do stim in other ways! Much like the fandom interpretation of Emmet, I often flap my hands when I am excited, although usually when I notice myself doing it I stop myself. (I’ve had this stim for as long as I can remember, but I never knew what it was and part of me just thought it was silly, so I am now in the habit of stopping myself when I notice I’m flapping my hands.) I also clench my fists and shake them if I’m watching something intense and getting excitable over it. Then there’s other things like fidgeting with my hands, singing, doing a little dance, etc.

4. Losing a brother

I should probably immediately clarify that my brother is alive and well! What I’m speaking of is a metaphorical loss. While we don’t know what Emmet is going through as we haven’t seen anything canon about how he’s coping, how long Ingo has been missing from his life, whether he knows where Ingo is, etc, there’s a lot we can learn about Emmet from other sources. We know from multiple official sources that Emmet looks up to his brother a lot. He constantly praises his brother.

While I actually have two older brothers in real life, I remember being closest to my older brother, so this point is about him. He was the one who looked out for me, who would help me when I was stressed. I looked up to him so much and loved him to bits. But then when he moved out and got married, it almost felt as if he left the family. My family and I rarely get to see him and he doesn’t make much of an effort to reach out to me, either. I remember distinctly looking up at him once and my brain didn’t register his face as familial anymore. It feels like he is an acquaintance now, which is probably reflected a lot in how I talk to him. It’s formal and scripted, much like how I talk to people I’m unfamiliar with. Logically I know he’s my brother, but with my lack of object permanence I have for people and the fact I rarely interact with him anymore, it feels like he’s not my brother anymore. For those who have watched MLP (or even those that haven’t), an appropriate way to sum up how I feel is something Twilight said; “I could have gained a sister, but instead I just lost a brother.”

- x -

Well that was a lot longer than I expected oops. That’s what happens when I’m allowed to pop off about Submas and myself I suppose! Hopefully this was at least interesting to read? But let’s be honest, this is mostly self indulgence to compare myself to and project my own personality onto this beautiful dorks.

Also, I apologise for ending it on a really depressing note, so if you need a pick me up, please read the amazing posts below! It’s a really good analysis of the autistic traits that the twins exhibit and a lot of the points are things I mentioned/referenced in this post.

Links for the autistic Submas analysis posts:

Emmet

Ingo (and Emmet)

[autistic-fuckwad]

your immediate belief that lesbians are radfems or want to kill all men bc some of us would like to be acknowledged as a sexuality that aren’t attracted to men is really upsetting. bisexuality is valid! ppl liking men is valid! lesbians r allowed to have weird relationships to their gender or be multi gender! trans and nb lesbians exist! womanhood shouldn’t ever be something to be gatekept from anyone? and I wish ppl would stop instantly assuming that lesbians share so many beliefs with terfs and radfems. like we love our trans siblings?? so much?? that has nothing to do with us wanting nonlesbians to stop trying to force men into our spaces. at the end of the day we r all fighting the same queer fight to be free. I don’t think it’s unreasonable tho for lesbians to be upset with ppl constantly trying to put men into the equation of our attraction when that’s just… not the case. we’re not evil for not being attracted to men? and it really feels like ur painting us out to be that way with some of ur posts and replies

To begin with, I never said all lesbians are radfems or want to kill all men. I said that you held the sentiment that being a lesbian is "sacred" and "must not be invaded by disgusting men", which is radfem rhetoric. Radfems also believe men should all die because they're gross. You can spread rhetoric without actually believing in most values of the thing you're spreading. Stop putting words in my mouth that I never said just because you're upset that I caught you spouting bullshit.

You are really mad about people who you consider to be "just fine", in your own words. I'm not your personal therapist to scream at because you're uncomfortable with the way someone identifies. If you genuinely have a problem with people identifying as bi lesbians because you see it as "non lesbians are ruining our sexuality by forcing men into it!" You seriously need to reconsider how you even view sex and sexualities as a whole. People identifying in a way that they feel fits their personal experiences does not harm you, no matter how much you say it does. It is their experiences first and foremost that let them pick a label that suits them the most, not your ideas behind what a "real lesbian" is.

I'm not going to entertain this entire thought process and debate you on why you're wrong and disgusting for thinking that way because you've clearly taken me in bad faith, and in the first place I'm not even the person you're mad at. I'm just a gay trans man* to begin with, I'm not in lesbian communities and I don't engage with discourse about it. But frankly, I don't believe people's identity should be discourse.

Also, to add: the very idea that being lesbian means excluding men entirely over loving women is a radfem ideology. Men aren't some toxic beast unlike what you'd assume, and many women are men at the same time. People's genders are extremely complex, even my own is. I don't care if you don't personally like men as a lesbian, that's just fine. I as a gay man am only attracted to people who don't identify as women in any aspect. That doesn't mean I get to enforce the same definition to people who have been around for years more than I have, just because I don't feel the same way. That's not how this works.

I don't care about whatever baggage you have when it comes to your sexuality label. I don't care if you personally chose the label lesbian because you hate men, though I'm not saying you do. That doesn't mean you alone get to be judge jury and executioner about who gets to be a lesbian. "Contradictory" identities have been around before both of us have been born and they will still be around no matter what. Bi lesbians have been around longer than both of us have. It is not anyone's right, no matter how much of a "true lesbian" you are, to tell them how to identify in good faith.

Now fuck off and don't come back ever again. You're a miserable hateful person and I want no part in interacting with you. You're acting like a fed and you get no bitches.

[perpetual-fool]

I mentioned this to someone once, more or less. It went very poorly, so I assumed I must've been lying. But I'm trying to imagine positive interactions now and I'm pretty sure it's true.

The only part of me I know really is still me is my sexuality.

I'm trying to imagine someone being accepting of me. I don't want it to be all about sex, but I don't know what else there is. And I'm not sure there is anything else. I mean, not to say that I'm just a soulless fuck machine at heart. But, well first, what does it mean for someone to be who they are? I think it must be how a person interacts with the world. Like, anything you do, you could just stop doing for one reason or another. So something like 'writer' isn't something that you are. But maybe you'll make up stories about things whether you share them or not, so maybe 'storyteller' is. But I haven't been allowed to do anything like that. I don't really interact with the world at all. So, as of yet, I am nothing. And I don't really know what 'something' would be.

And I could not have been something, previously. Having an instinctive need for belonging yet being fundamentally different, the 'love' and 'support' of others would have ground me into dust regardless. Other people just seem so fake. And so stupid, for lack of a better word. And vile. Like, that 'stupid' would be be met with a 'how dare you' or 'you're not better than everyone else' or something. People would mutilate it and throw it back in my face, not even knowing what it means. The best response I've gotten about the phenomenon is an endless string of excuses implying that this thing that's completely fucking up my life and has been since my earliest memories, just isn't happening. I would fucking hate them for that were it the whole story. I can tell myself they can't help it, that's just what they are. But it doesn't seem to help. Is it better to be hopeless than angry?

Anyway, having imaginary conversations with my imaginary companion, I feel like this is what a 'friend' is supposed to be like. I'm not sure how I'm making that assessment, as that's not something I could possibly know. Maybe it just fits the story of 'friend'? It's having a profound effect on me just imagining that someone is actually following what I'm saying. Which aside, has to mean that people really aren't understanding me, which means their assessments of me are not valid. Not that knowing that changes how I feel. But, these interactions feel more real than the ones I have with real people. With actual people it's like I'm dealing with something pretending to be human, but which doesn't quite understand what they're like. But I'm the outlier, so maybe I'm the thing which isn't quite human.

It's not entirely dissimilar from the wrongness I feel about the violin. Like, violin is a tiny, shrill viola. And standard viola is a fat violin, but not fat enough for the role it's supposed to fill. The true instrument is the five-string viola, of which the other two are a perversion.

And that doesn't feel all that different from trying to figure out the perfect combination of lightsaber parts in Kotor 2. Although I wouldn't be able to explain that very well, so instead I'm gonna use the example of trying to figure out builds in New Vegas. A bit of a fool's errand, as in both cases the games were not designed to allow for 'perfection'. I was looking for something like, a build focused entirely on crits, which had enough dps to take on the hardest area in the game. But also, a path to get to that point, from the very beginning through the very end. All all of that with nothing superfluous. Like you'd start the game with crit-weapon, put points into crit-skills, collect crit-equipment, and eventually everything will be in perfect alignment with this one purpose. And nothing at all is actually like that. The games where it's even a possibility are the ones where anything goes and you're intended to follow whatever whims take you at that moment. It's not 'min-maxing' though. I'm not trying to make a character with as much dps as the game allows. I'm trying to make everything fit perfectly.

I'm not sure what this is, but I think this is who I am.

[tallmantall]

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – We Must Stop Using A #Female Model To Treat #Men’s #MentalHealth

By  John Mac Ghlionn #Men comprise some 80% of all #suicides with #depression being a component of the majority of them. #Depression among #men is rising, fast, yet current psychotherapy treatments typically fail to differentiate between what works best for each sex. This must change if we want to keep #men mentally fit -- and alive! The masculinity crisis is real. #Men make up 49% of the population but nearly 80% of all #suicides. Every 13.7 minutes a #man takes his life somewhere in the U.S. #Depression is present in at least 50% of these #suicides, according to Canada’s Centre for #SuicidePrevention. Along with medication, psychological therapy can help alleviate depressive symptoms. For #women, that is. But less so for #men. That’s because we appear to have #depression all wrong. #Men and #women view the world very differently; their brains are literally wired differently. And this means #men and #women also suffer from #depression in different ways. There was a time when the #AmericanPsychologicalAssociation (#APA), the organization responsible for accrediting #psychologists in the U.S., appeared open to the idea of “#male-based #depression.” Back in 2005, the APA noted that those in the #psychological community were “coming to think that the traditional signs of #depression (sadness, worthlessness, excessive guilt) may not represent many men’s experience of a depressive period.” Unfortunately, not long after, the “sex is a construct” narrative started gaining traction, and the APA began denying that differences between the sexes actually exist. Soon after, the APA decided to label qualities associated with traditional masculinity as “psychologically harmful.”  Having effectively turned its back on #men, is it any wonder that the current system is so ill-equipped to help the #men of #America? For most of its history, the esteemed #AmericanPsychologicalAssociation treated #male and #female #mentalhealthconditions with distinction; that all changed once pressure mounted to end the focus gender differentiations. Which brings us back to the idea of “#male-based #depression.” Adam Lane Smith, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in treating both #men and #women, says that #male #depression tends to revolve around feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. “#Men need the ability to change their environment, create an impact that lasts (a legacy), and to either stop their pain or make it have purpose,” he explained. They are less interested in having their feelings validated, and more interested in finding a solution. They want answers, and they want them now. #Female #depression, on the other hand, “tends to center around feeling unloved or feeling useless to the people they love,” Smith noted. “#Women need to feel cared for, appreciated, and helpful.” #Veteran #therapist Adam Lane Smith says #men are seeking the ability to change the world around them from therapy; they want solutions — and they want them fast. For #men, feeling unable to positively affect their environment appears to be the prelude to deep #depression. “First,” said Smith, “they start feeling helpless in these areas, that they can never get out of these negative feelings.” Then, after some time, he added, the “suicidal feelings set in.” Smith words are particularly troubling because the rate of #male #depression is now rising so dramatically. For #men seeking therapy, their key concerns are feelings of uselessness and being a burden to loved ones; they’re not necessarily looking to simply feel better. If given the choice, #men tend to prefer speaking to a #male #therapist. This has nothing to do with sexism. Data confirms that #men just respond better to #male #therapists than they do to #female #therapists. Sadly, there just aren’t enough #male #therapists to choose from. Almost two-thirds of #psychologists in the #UnitedStates are #female. Eighty percent of clinical #psychologists are #female. Some 75% of psychology graduate #students are #female. This is one reason why therapy is failing #men. #Women, on the other hand, want therapy to help them feel more loved and connected with the world around them; this dichotomy helps explain why so many #men are being failed by conventional therapy. Another reason is that most therapy sessions center around making #men feel better, “more loved and more connected,” Smith notes. However, the vast majority of the time, he said, #men feel powerless, “so making them feel loved while still powerless makes them feel like more of a burden, not less of one.” In other words, we are trying to treat #male-based #depression using #female-oriented approaches. And this is likely making #male therapy #patients feel even worse. Which begs the question: What, if anything, can be done? #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com One of the biggest challenges in properly treating #male #depression is the paucity of #male #therapists; some 75% of psychology graduate #students today are #women. First and foremost, the time has come for the broader psychology community to reverse course and recognize that biological differences exist – both for the physical body and the immaterial mind. “ A one-size-fits-all approach is… going to turn the tide against the #suicide epidemic, the drug epidemic, or any other #mentalhealth-based issue currently growing worse,” Smith explains.  To get #men out of their rut, they must not only be made to feel better, but actually achieve impactful and meaningful results. This should be the end game of any #mentalhealthtreatment. What do you think? Post a comment. Because to truly address #male suffering, we must first accept the idea that a #man’s pain often looks nothing like its #female counterpart. If you are struggling with #suicidalthoughts or are experiencing a #mentalhealthcrisis and live in New York City, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling. If you live outside the five boroughs, you can dial the 24/7 #NationalSuicidePreventionhotline at #988 or go to #SuicidePreventionLifeline.org. Read the full article