#and they’re almost out of minutes
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heaven’s calling
#and they’re almost out of minutes#artists on tumblr#supernatural#spn#castiel#sketch#castiellesbian#userkels#userda#digital art
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The season 4 premiere of Boston Legal is like psychological terrorism. Alan being begged to have a baby. Word salad. Sex in an elevator TWICE. Shirley/Denny moment that makes me sob. Infidelity. The arrival of Carl. Guys looking at each others’ dicks. Alan saying his penis has been a bad boy. Carl’s hair. One of the greatest guest appearances on the show by Craig muMs Grant. Alan calls himself fat. He wears a dress just for fun. Big dance number. I feel like I’m being hit with baseball bats the entire episode.
#‘what is this show about’ yes❤️#boston legal#there’s great lighting in two different scene that makes his eyelashes look so blond and long#james is alan alan is james so of course he always looks like himself. but sometimes he looks so… him#yk what I mean. the smallest expression and it suddenly reminds me of crash of all things. or something he did in SLV or pretty in pink#idk why it’s so hard to explain. or it’s not but it sounds silly I don’t know. he’s just so strikingly handsome in vastly different ways#at different times in his life#movies are easy to compare of course jim is always doing little jim things in his 90 minute films#but alan is so fleshed out I’ve seen alan more than I’ve seen all the others combined except perhaps red#but I have the same feeling with red! they’re separate almost. it’s almost a shock when I see james spader in their eyes…#anyway um. season 4 already making me INSANE this time yay :)
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home from work
#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday#the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already#they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time#micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him#bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can#so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO#anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need#it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning#and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today#we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao#and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before#we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day#we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left#it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo#*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having#to wait a long time for their food#and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO#I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take#stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess#I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every#night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had#nothing to make the wraps with <3#I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap#and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used#they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess#this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up#womp womp!!!!!!
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Wormwood hc hours
#keese draws#dst#don’t starve together#dst wormwood#dst wheeler#ds wheeler#<- not a clue how to tag her I’m so sorry bestie#anyways! more hc rambling she/he pronouns wormwood for the win#also for elaboration on her roots! they’re kinda parasitic in nature?#I say kinda because it’s less in an irl plant way and more in a fucked up lunar way#but yeah that’s why wormwood doesn’t like using them#during full bloom however his roots try their damn best to get into the grown anyways#mostly because of the increased nutrient needs and it worsens when he’s hungry#but yeah in my minds eye the increased speed from full bloom is a mix of just general heightened energy and being taller#as for the height changes in my minds eye most of the growth that comes with blooming is shedded pretty much as soon as she falls out of it#usually leading to a couple minute prices of getting what’s left shuffled back into place#this usually leaves her incredibly exhausted afterwards for a day or so#also when using weapons she tends to just wrap her arm around the handle instead of using her hand leaves#since yknow. leaves aren’t great for grip#also in my minds eye wormwoods leaves have an almost artificial feel to them#like not quite fully but enough so that one might get confused for a moment#they generally become softer during bloom but all soft leaves get shedded pretty quickly afterwards#in general wormwood becomes a bit more squishy in general during bloom but not by too much
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Me whenever someone on this app says that ji and ks aren’t close 🥲:
#LMAOAOAOAOOOO#putting kaisoo aside for a minute#like…you can always tell surface level fans when it comes to kp*p apart from the ones who actually are paying attention#if you have eyes you can see that they’re close#they themselves have also implied that MANY MANY times lmao#talking informally to each other#sharing a dorm#becoming close after 3 days#I could go on and on#it’s like are they not close or do you just not want them to be close?#and the funniest thing is it’s always ks stans who don’t want to acknowledge how close he is to ji#occasionally ji stans are like this too but it’s almost ALWAYS ks Stan’s#ppl gotta realize that even if kaisoo wasn’t real that still wouldn’t negate the fact that they are both close to each other LOL#but..ppl know the truth and they also know the possibility 👀#like you don’t have to type out all these think pieces and try to narrow down whom in eggg seww is closest to each other#just look at how they act and listen to what they say#kaisoo#kadi#dika#long tags are long#beri talks#beri rants
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I get stressed and a little sad about the idea of needing to use the cane reserved for hiking day to day when I’m out if my knees keep getting worse the way they are and then I remember my friend who calls me davey really excitedly and jokingly asking me if she can call me crutchie if I do or “would that be insensitive???” and smile a bit
#frankly I have no idea but it was funny#much appreciated#cause with how bad today was I might need it#*me after almost falling flat on my face* ok yeah I should give I’m#can’t even be mad tho it’s my fault they’re bad I didn’t do half of the exercises I was meant to#crutchie morris#crutchie#newsies#daveyfvckingjacobs#me: yeah I have knee issues but I’m not disabled#also me: *knees give out for a few minutes at a time several times a week*#maybe I’m getting there#and have been for years idfk but if I can compare myself to crutchie I can deal with it#he’s a legend
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um yall… sam’s roommate pulled up to coffee like. um. dressed like this. btw. and their hair is just like. a better fluffier mullet. is this surprising
#just wanna express what i’m dealing with btw because the hair thing sort of hit me like a truck earlier and then i was like#well girl wait… literally… come on lmao… also we both wore sweatervests hashtag twinem#it’s so chill though coffee was really fun#we ended up hanging for like two hours and then i was like fuckkkkk g2g to class and they walked w me partway there#and then almost dapped me up gave me a hug at the worst possible intersection there were so many people walking fuck the construction fr#but like. yeah it was chill im glad i reached out even tho like idk things r... ok.. w sam but we’re certainly not like 🤞#and i think they just had a semi recent breakup and drama and im like. um. largely unwell#and need 2 just get through this semester so i rlly forced myself to chill and go in with no expectations and it was just :-)#i was charmed by how passionate he was talking abt the weather and stuff like within minutes of meeting#i was listening to a very excited spiel about el nino and the tornadoes in wisconsin and etc oh and they came up w an ocean fact for me#and also ugh they played piano for so long growing up and can still like. do it. fucckcjkkk. and demonstrated#this rlly odd chord. um. like stretching and flexing their hand. srrryy lol i’m just giggling#lol and i mentioned my hair journey at one point and they were like ‘yeah? tell me about it’ shut UP… oh and also#knew exactly the stairwell i was talking abt when i described my favorite and we managed to chat abt that ugh it was so dorky#like. aw wow this person is just really cool#i also think they’re stupid hot but like idk since we actually um communicated and etc it's taken out a lot of the#tendency i had/have to be like 'sigh what if -' and er mythologize ppl. i suppose could be said. like aw we're just yapping and we're loyal#story likers now and if they ever want to just like make out sometime that’s so chill but regardless like we ball 💪#yayyyyyayyyyy me when i can be normal about things!!!!! 🫶🙈#abby talks
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losing my mind!! as part of our teen event, we have our smaller group of teen leaders create a kahoot to play with all the other teens that come in for the show, and so there are 3 high school girls sitting next to my desk trying to make a “guess the vampire quote” game for LTROI except they just googled “vampire quotes” instead of quotes from like…specific media….and so they keep saying quotes out loud but not knowing which movie/book/show they’re from and anyway i may or may not have made them jump when one of them read out loud “evil is always possible, but goodness is eternally difficult” and i screamed “THAT ONE IS FROM INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SAID BY LOUIS DE POINTE DU LAC I THINK YOU SHOULD INCLUDE IT” lmfao
#i need to start a tag for my irl vampire shenanigans#they spent 15 minutes trying to figure out which quotes were from the wwdits show vs the movie#it’s killing me to not butt in#almost all the other quotes they’re including are from twilight/the vampire diaries/hotel transylvania bc THATS ALL THEY KNOW#kids these days!!!!
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:’)
#to start this w a good note lol#bro almost all the music i’ve heard since we got to this vacation spot was done on gIee LOLLLL#not even just at the hotel where they were playing xmas music so like ofc a lot of that but also other music#that was just . all done on gIee lmfao#but also on the shuttle ride here from the airport#the driver had like disco music playing and istg it went from like#staying alive to u should be dancing to uhhh disco inferno#to idk if it’s disco but after that was u can’t touch this lmao 😭#on to the not so good part bro it’s day one why i gotta be so sad lmfao#im blaming it on the like 2-3 hrs of sleep 🤩#it ok i actually feel not bad for only 2-3 hrs of sleep before flight LOL i’ve been banking up the sleep so that rly makes a difference lma#i feel fucking ridiculous tho bc i feel lonely af and unwanted on a family trip#bc my brother has a childhood family friend to hang out with who for the fucking record i was also friends with#and last time we were together for a significant amt of time idk why but my brother freaking ignored him basically#ik they exchanged snapchats tho recently and they’re both like buff gym guys now lmfao so idk they’re besties now so#i kinda feel like i can’t hang out w them#and then idk my parents like yeah and then my grandma so i’m just kinda hanging out w my grandma#they all went onto the beach i think and i’m here in a room w my grandma and i spent fucking like 30 minutes watching the beach bc i didn’t#know where they were and they didn’t tell me and like overthinking whether i should go#i got as far as tying my hair up and taking out a change of clothes#and then almost cried and gave up and took out my book and came out on the balcony lmao#like what am i even complaining about. but idk#it all goes back to that lovely middle school friendship that left me fucking devastated bro lmfao 🤩#idk if that’s actually the reason but i’m blaming it all on that LMAO#anyway we’re here for a while so . i’ll just chill and read today bc i do want to read more and i kinda in the mood recently#also another thing was that my skin is still being a little fucking bitch#and i’m so hesitant abt doing anything w it so like going in ocean water#anyway. fuck my fucking brain i hate it here#it’ll be better tmrw when i’ve had some fucking sleep lmfao#jeanne talks
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tracy & josh,
i’m not awake enough to know that i’m not
running straight through it all, to escape the thought
of a god, of a world
that waits till i’m away
to take back what it gave
#tracy stewart#josh diaz#teen wolf#teen wolf moodboard#teen wolf aesthetic#twgs#they’re friends your honour. they’re not perfect but they manage#josh is ace i don’t make the rules#(of course i do)#josh ‘do it yourself’ diaz#josh throws stones at tracy’s window at night before he heads out to sinema#they walk almost the whole way there before she stops at the diner four blocks down. she waits there for him to come back#he usually shows up three hours later high. never drunk. always hungry.#he’s chatty enough for both of them and he’s content with the occasional hum and scoff she throws his way#sometimes his head falls to the table and he dozes off#she nudges him with the toe of her boot every ten minutes and he swears he wasn’t sleeping#they don’t interact at school but they walk home together#they talk shit about theo in their free time#josh is great at it.#he semi-regularly slashes theo’s tyres.#they hang out with corey occasionally#mason tags along once and never does it again.#josh and tracy end up going to the same college with hayden#the three of them become friends#i just think they’re neat and should be studied more.#the way they have polar opposite responses to theo’s assertion of authority over their bodies?#the way tracy comes back and becomes theo’s right hand?#the way josh comes back and says maybe theo should have let him stay dead??#it’s all so… neat. the chimeras are my fave.
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how do therapists typically react when you say you think you have something
#ive only done that twice with two separate therapists one was like yeah that’d make sense (about autism) but i had to stop seeing her#+ she wasn’t very good#and the other time the therapist was even worse and she kept trying to tell me what im almost positive is ocd was just ptsd#i have both but like the thing she was talking about had nothing to do with my trauma and was entirely based on intrusive thoughts#and also involved compulsions so like.#she generally sucked also she was like 40 minutes late once and then when she showed up (into the telehealth thing) she was driving#but yeah i want to talk to my current therapist about both my ocd and dissociation problems but im scared to flat out say that#also concerned she will equate my ocd to ptsd as well bc some of it is connected but still is different#like i have ruminations that are vaguely connected to my trauma that i might not have otherwise but they’re still ocd im pretty sure#also i was kinda supposed to be diagnosed with it ? i took a test thing but i kept telling the psych that i didn’t have it so i think he#abandoned the idea. and then i was discharged and it was just dropped#idk why im saying all of this im in a weird mood#vent#kinda???#not really but to be safe#but yeah i feel like it could be seen as trying to do the therapists work for them which i don’t want to do
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in case you’re wondering about what kind of gay i am: it’s the one who lays on the concrete outside the country’s largest mall with a iced coffee coolng herself with a black cat hand fan under a giant lace parasol. she’s probably whining because she’s already developing a sunburn after ten minutes outdoors.
#ooc#[ i am literally as pale as asterion ]#[ my father’s family is from the northernmost point in mainland Europe tho it’s almost Asia because Russia ]#[ look up Nordkinnhalvøya they’re from the northeast of that peninsula ]#[ last spring I went out in spf fuckinf 70 which is overkill and doesn’t even really work that well ]#[ and within 45 minutes I had a third degree burns on my shoulders and back ]#[ I had to go to a fucking burn clinic to get specialized care ]#[ those are my THIRD round of severe burns from the sun ]#[ I have to carry a parasol at all times ]#[ from like April to September ]#[ I still have scars and burn damage from that and I’m Big Mad over it ]#[ I also get very faint in the sunlight due to autonomic nervous system dysfunction ]#[ so taking me out without ac and sunscreen and adequate protection makes me VERY whiny lol ]#[ you can shut me up with coffee tho lol ]
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ive listened to So Much (for) Stardust for a low estimate of 38 hours and a high estimate 50 hours.
And yes it will be all i play in my car on shift tonight.
#fall out boy#so much (for) stardust#tidal doesnt track individual song listens just by artist#im at almost 750 plays for fob this month and i know it was all smfs cause i went on a blackpink kick earlier in the month#last week i had no fob plays for the month and now they’re Everything#time will tell if i beat my Midnights plays by the end of the month#the dopamine hasnt run out and im still finding little bits to fall more in love with#(also avg song length is like 4 minutes and i took out the pink seashell early from my loop cause it Makes Me Sad but baby annihilation is#Staying gdi)#(time is luck and i wish ours had overlapped more or for longer)#(first time i took the mask off i just had another one on underneath)#(sef sabotage at best under your spell but you know what they say if you want a job done right you gotta do it yourself)
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Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?
Because I sure do. I can’t do that.
Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.
#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….”#I’m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL#I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid…#but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old#Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after#I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point#(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT#but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound#like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction)#I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular…#because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake#(to me)#sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize#it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word#— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people#act like they’re better than everyone else)#And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing#but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism#Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way#and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal.#This isn’t how I talk.”#But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication.#I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests#rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together#But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking#especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded#I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good#but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak)#even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere#It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end
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no roman no no no roman no ROMAN NO ROMAN PLEASE ROMAN
#succession#ruby rambles#the entire last 10 minutes i was like “oh god they’re just grieving kids oh my god#and roman lashing out because kendall lashed out#it feels so?#it feels true#and so fucking sad#because we want to change the ending so bad#but it’s almost like we know it!
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I have sm damn muse right now
#kids go to bed in 40 minutes#and my drafts almost have replies to all of them#just gotta format and tweak and then they’re going out#who am I?
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