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endangered-aquarium-fish · 13 days

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Samurai gourami (Sphaerichthys vaillanti)

Endangered

The samurai gourami is a small fish from the area of the Kapuas River in Borneo and its SO FUCKING COOL LOOK AT THEM I WANT ONE RAHHHH

They don’t actually live in the river, they’re way too cool for that-

They live in a wonderfully bizarre habitat called a peat swamp, where pure rainwater pools over a meters-thick layer of decomposing leaves and wood fallen from the dense canopy above. The acids released as it all decays mean the pH of the water is so low (sometimes 3-4) that nothing can even decompose when it dies, and the tannic acids bond to any dissolved minerals and sink them into the soil.

The water has the dark color and distinct scent of tea. It sits perfectly still, too dark for any plants to grow, so nearly every fish that makes its home there has to use a specialized organ called the labyrinth organ to get their oxygen from gulps of air.

…btw, most adult fish will die within minutes in water like that - it’s nearly as acidic as pure vinegar. Samurai gouramis are literally so fucking metal… they live in the fucking Evil Death Water of Doom and theyre just. chilling. unbothered. thriving :3

The gouramis live in pairs, hidden in the tangles of submerged roots and branches and leaves. Their thin shape helps them mimic a dead leaf- and they play into that by acting like one too!! their slow, calm movement looks like they’re simply drifting peacefully through the water, even as they stalk their prey (mostly insects like mosquitoes). Also, they’re some of the biggest fish in the swamp- at a whopping 3 inches long.

They usually form a social hierarchy where the biggest females get the best territory, food, and mates. And when they choose a mate, it gets really funky and weird :3

The males are less colorful than the females, but they have a pouch in their throat that they can extend as a display, kinda like an anole. The females lay from 10 to 40 eggs at a time before the males fertilize them and scoop them up with their mouth. It’s a lot like the toba betta, but it’s even more specialized - they keep the eggs in their throat pouch, even after they hatch 0.0 The babies spend a while growing up in there, just living in their father’s throat, and so he has to find a way to feed them…

He uses the tannic acids in the water. He absorbs them and mixes them with his own mucus, using their natural stickiness to form sort of a fishy tannin slime that he excretes into his throat like milk for the babies. They spend weeks nibbling at it until they get big enough that he can let them out to swim away. He doesn’t eat anything until they’re free.

Overall 10/10 fish very funky does a masterful imitation of a leaf. but like if the leaf was fruity or something

They’re endangered by deforestation and pollution from illegal gold mining upstream. The efforts to protect them in the wild have failed, but not in aquariums :3

Luckily they don’t have to live in vinegar or acid rain or something. They’re okay in any soft water with a pH of 6.5 or less, which may even be how your tapwater is naturally. If not, you can gather fallen leaves, seed pods, and sticks from local trees and let those soak in your aquarium, and the tannins they release will give the fish what they need just like in the peat swamps. They really do need very soft water though, so if your water isn’t already naturally soft, this may not be the best fish for you.

They do best in a shallow tank of at least 30 gallons, with very clean and warm water (75-82 F) and minimal flow. They don’t like bright light so add plenty of floating plants to cast shadows, and make sure the water has plenty of tannins to keep it that dark color. They can be very shy and reclusive sometimes so they really need a lot of cover to feel safe and comfortable enough to come out. It’s easy to give them that, just add lots of wood, dark caves, dead leaves, and plants to the tank. Most plants won’t do well in blackwater, but there are plenty that will - I like to use frogbit, cryptocorynes, water lilies, mosses, and some stem plants like rotala rotundifolia if you let them grow up to the surface. You can also use plants like pothos and peace lilies that like to grow with only their roots in the water - these are amazing at keeping the water clean and your gouramis will love the roots. There should be about an inch of air at the top for the fish to breathe from, and a lid to keep it humid enough so the babies’ labyrinth organs can develop properly.

Samurai gouramis are wonderfully peaceful and harmless, so whatever you keep with them (except shrimp) is perfectly safe. The only thing you need to worry about is that the gouramis are slow and timid enough that a lot of other fish will eat all the food before they can get any- and if the other fish are aggressive at all the gouramis are done for. The best tankmates for samurai gouramis are small, slow, peaceful, and unintimidating, so I’d suggest a small school of pygmy cories or tiny rasboras like chili, kubotai, or axelrod rasboras. You could probably also keep them with similar peaceful gouramis like chocolate gouramis, licorice gouramis, or snakehead bettas. Just make sure you have plenty of other samurai gouramis (at least 6) since they need company almost as much as we do.

Breeding them is easy, just have a group and they’ll form pairs. The difference between males and females is really easy to see - the males are chocolatey brown like an old fallen leaf, and the females look like a psychedelic rainbow. They’ll all find their own spots in the tank when they decide to breed and eventually the males’ throats will be filled with eggs and they’ll become reclusive and stop eating for up to three weeks while they care for them. It’s best to move the adults into another tank temporarily for a few days after the babies are released or they could get eaten. The fry need to eat the microorganisms that grow around dead leaves, and they should be fed other tiny live foods as supplements like microworms and baby brine shrimp until they get big enough to eat what their parents eat. Even the adults are a bit picky and they prefer live foods but they can usually learn to eat protein rich prepared foods too.

Have fun with ur gouramis :3

#aquarium #aquatic #endangered #endangered species #fish #fishkeeping #gourami

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drpeppertummy · 3 months

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extra leon & shel lore/tidbits copy pasted from the group chat that i dont think ive shared (non-kink-related)

[warning for mentions/descriptions of alcoholism, abuse, death including child death & pet death, transphobia, self harm]

angela really did not like shel before they became friends she thought he was just the most pissy old bitch. shel liked her fine bc she 1. never did anything to piss him off herself and 2. Called him a pissy old bitch which he thought was funny. i think she only changed her mind about him when she realized he was one of the only people to immediately start calling her the right name when she came out & when she realized he was friends with leon, who she already was cool with. now she'll defend him she'll be like No Hes Cool If Youre Friends With Him Honest I Swear. he always just liked her bc he thought she was Spunky. never really made a move to be pals with her just considered her one of his more tolerable coworkers. they both think its hilarious now that she hated him & she still Jokingly calls him a pissy old bitch. she was cool with leon Before coming out but only really became close with him After coming out bc he was like [in private] omg wait me too [<-paraphrased] & trans coworkers gotta stick together

shels cats prefer laying on leon when hes over bc hes softer & warmer & shel gets jealous so naturally the solution is for shel to use leon as a pillow so the cats have to lay on her instead

i think leon likes showering at shels house bc she has a shower chair & its nice. he probably winds up getting one himself anyway so shel can feel safer showering at his house too

shels house is pretty well cat-proofed. hes invested in soft carpeting so shits less likely to break if it falls, hazards are generally well-secured, hes got magnets on his cabinet doors so they cant break in, shit like that etc. the cats are more or less allowed anywhere in the house But he has a Strict no cats in the laundry room rule bc hes absolutely terrified of one sneaking into the dryer when hes not looking

leons place is like. very Lived In. kinda messy but not Gross (i imagine shel probably helps him keep on top of cleaning sometimes). a little dingy but not so much so that you dont wanna sit down & hang around. kinda dated. not overly well-maintained. needs some repairs that he just hasnt gotten around to (for years). hasnt been renovated or anything in decades. ugly old couch. he tries to keep trash off the floor but he is guilty of having old bottles & shit sitting around. making it look nice isnt a huge priority for him but he tries to at least keep it sanitary

shels house as we know is full of cat-themed crap & knickknacks & i think its kinda granny-esque & a lot of brown & pink & off-white & warm neutral colors. clean but cluttered & cozy. small but comfortable. nothing is like harsh & bright the color is all soft & subdued & the lighting is warm & gentle. lot of decorative things & photos on shelves & on the walls & on end tables etc. maybe some doilies. shel could be a doily guy. lot of cute fridge magnets

leon will refer to his pre-transition self as a girl/woman almost as if she was a different person he used to know. angela only refers to herself as a girl/woman including when talking about the past bc thats what shes always been even before she knew. & shel well hes just shel

projecting onto leon he'll be buying pants & be like "omg these fit Perfectly" & theyll be like a foot too long. length, as we know, does not matter when youre built like grimace

i think shel (playfully) gives leon grief for bein older than him. bc shel Looks older. if u asked their coworkers to guess theyd place leon at no older than 43 and shel at like 55

they bring out the best in each other. when shels around leon tries not to drink & he tries to take better care of himself bc he doesnt wanna disappoint him. when leons around shels less bitchy & less grumpy & in much better humor. theyre both happier around each other

i think leon was a little nervous about becoming an Official Couple & i think hed be a little nervous about getting married moving in together etc, not bc he thinks shel would ever hurt him but bc he still worries that all the abuse he took from bill was his own fault & hes afraid shels gonna start to see him the way bill saw him & get sick of him. & he feels guilty for feeling that way

shels had A Lot of cats in his life & he carries the grief of every single one hes ever said goodbye to. the majority of his Family Photos he has framed or in albums are pets & sometimes he'll be looking through them & gets a little misty. & i think leon realizing that all these cats have always pretty much been shels only family & hearing the way he reminisces about them the way somebody would fondly recall happy memories with their family or friends is a point where he realizes just how lonely shels life has been. hes always been very sentimental about his cats. if he finds a loose whisker on the floor he sticks it in a jar bc its too cool to just sweep up. & if one of them cuts him deeply enough to leave a scar he looks at it with fondness. & the paw prints they do at the vet when the times up. he def has those all hung up amongst whatever photos & other shit he has on the walls

i think shel has some kind of goofy little tattoo he got when he was really young & dysfunctional like. on her hip or some weird spot where nobody ever sees it & its some weird random stupid little thing & the first time leon sees it hes like ??????????? idk what it would even be but its definitely shittily done & probably doesnt have any meaning behind it

leon was originally supposed to be bitter & grumpy & bitchy like shel (who has been around longer & whose bitterness & grumpiness & bitchiness was well established by the time leon came around) but he wound up being more sad & sweet & nervous. i think his coworkers still generally dont like him unless they know him well & its mostly bc they make Assumptions about him based on the things they know. hes an alcoholic, hes a hot mess, he hangs out with that bitchy weirdo shel, he doesnt socialize much, etc

Thinking About Shels Cat Pics u knowww they look like shit. if hes texting them . with his flip phone. but also i think she takes a lot of Camera Pictures & puts em in a photo album. all the time leons receiving grainy shitty flip phone cat pic texts & he Adores it he feels so in love

Thinking About Angela & Leon i think they have like an extra special little friendship which they really come to think of as a father/daughter relationship after a while. it just kinda Becomes Like That. since she was relatively recently disowned by her parents & he lost his daughter & they both have a major void that theyre subconsciously trying to fill. he might take her shopping since she came out pretty recently & doesnt have much of a wardrobe & hes pretty experienced in the field of Womens Clothes. they make a whole little day of it. i think ive already mentioned leons necklace that his mom gave him that her mom probably gave her that he was gonna give to his daughter which he wound up giving to angela & it was gonna be a casual gesture but it wound up being a whole teary huggy thing for both of em

i think. if he found out bill died or something he would be all freaked out like Omg I Shouldve Been There For Him bc even after everything theres still a big part of him that thinks maybe if he tried harder if he did a better job if he was a better spouse etc they couldve been happy. even tho he Knows bill was awful to him & he Knows bill was a nasty evil abusive person & he would never wish what he went through on anybody else theres still a big part of him that feels like it was his fault & he deserved all of it & he cant possibly deserve better

Thinking About Baby Shel. sometimes as someone who works in school/childcare youll have a kid who nobody can figure out how to help--beyond troubled, disillusioned, home life is a mess, etc--& you just know in your heart that if Somebody cant figure it out theyre not gonna make it. shel was one of those kids from a very early age. any teachers he had who are still alive remember him well bc he was such a fucked up little terror & theyd be astonished to see that hes alive. not only alive but Relatively Happy. functioning. sober. nothing like the disturbed child they knew back then

the destroyed parent in leon wishes so badly he couldve been there for shel when he was little. even tho had they known each other at the time hes only like 4 years older. he hears about tidbits of shels childhood & just wishes he could go there & hold him. but he can comfort him now & shel appreciates that. i usually depict shel being more Okay bc he does have his shit way more together but sometimes he is just all fucked up & leons there for him. sometimes he has Bad Brain Days & sometimes its just that kind of day & sometimes its brought on by his pain or lack of sleep or somethin & sometimes something triggers it & fucks him up. & he might be agitated & moody or he might be sad & fragile or he might just be numb & barely responsive but leon will treat him gentle & make sure hes not isolating himself or neglecting himself or hurting himself & make sure hes taken care of until he feels ok again. leon often feels like he doesnt do nearly enough for shel considering how much shel supports him sometimes but when those days happen he usually (probably unknowingly) prevents shel from spiraling into a weeks-long & potentially life-threatening funk

Thinking About Leon bc ive established how angela & shel came to be without a family but ive never gone into detail on leon. i think his family was never very supportive to start with & they didnt like the man he married & blamed leon for getting himself into the relationship when it started going south & bill kinda drove a wedge between him & his family and then when he started to really become a hot mess with Apparent Mental Health Issues Including Alcoholism they shunned him even more & wanted no part of him or his problems & then by the time he divorced bill & started his transition he was so estranged from them & he knew how unsupportive they were in general that he just never came out to them & essentially disappeared. he was their black sheep & they were fine with him getting away. i think if he had the chance to forgive them & go back to them he would do it in a heartbeat in spite of everything. if he found them again & they were willing to take him back he would forget how much pain they let him go through all alone Immediately. hes too forgiving bc he doesnt think he deserves better. he woulda let bill back into his life too if shel hadnta beat him to it. hes afraid of being alone he thinks hes unlovable😔 shels trying to get him past that

shels mother was a terrible parent but sometimes he wonders if they wouldve had a happy life without his dad. & sometimes he wonders if he couldve saved her. leon will be like “you were just a little kid theres nothing you couldve done” but he cant help thinking about it. & honestly if it werent for his dad his mom probably wouldve been a fine parent but their relationship was so vicious & abusive & horrible that the household was just a constant screaming fighting mess

when leon got his top surgery he was freshly divorced & had no friends bc his shity husband had him all isolated & he was like the most alone hed ever been in his life he didnt have Nobody & he had to go through the whole process & recovery all alone & it was miserable so when shel gets his knees done leon makes dam sure hes there for him every step of the way

thinking about leon & angela finding out about stuff shel never got to do as a kid & being like Oh My God We Are Taking His Old Ass To The Zoo. take his old ass to the boardwalk for minigolf & rides & ice cream. cant take his old ass to action park. sad

#text #xleonx #xshelx

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mydemonsdrivealimo · 4 months

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not exactly aro related but I've always been curious, how does liyah pick out her clothes? How has her sense of fashion evolved over time? (Because I remember like the One fanart Rose made of Liyah in this green shirt thingy with the fishnets and I was obsessed ever since)

And for Bryce - this one is arospec related-

Does Bryce have any specific songs that resonate with his experience? Also, how was it like for him growing up as a teen, in college and med school knowing he views dating culture differently than most others?

hi mads ty!!!

how does liyah pick out her clothes? how has her sense of fashion evolved over time?

okay so liyah absolutely went through the emo phase and has since evolved from there. for shows, she tends to go more costume-like, usually lots of bold sparkly and noticable colors. in her off time, she goes WAYYY more comfortable. more of a boho style, muted but lots of colors, comfy soft loose clothing. she used to try to find a middle ground of that, like a little more dressed up and elevated, but shes stopped giving a fuck by now lol. and before it was pretty much always monochrome clothes, but shes come to love the neons and bright colors

Does Bryce have any specific songs that resonate with his experience?

okay so this song really seems like it has nothing related to it at all but originally (in my first fic that doubles as my bryce is demiro fic) the song i used was the shining by the neighbourhood. now im telling you the lyrics dont actually connect to being demiro, but its the vibes. specifically the line "so ill just paint it chrome" in reference to the narrators heart "always being broken." now i could explain it forever but instead im going to shut up and just give you the link to the fic. no pressure to read it but the deep dive is in there

how was it like for him growing up as a teen, in college and med school knowing he views dating culture differently than most others?

it was way harder for him than he wanted to admit. again, the better explanation is in that fic, but there was just always something off. like he just never,, understood that urge to jump into a relationship. he felt like he barely knew the people and just went along w a relationship even though thats not what he wanted. its actually a huge part of his backstory (in my hc) that he never really had a solid group of friends bc he never felt that he truly connected with them. sure he could chat w them about some things, but there was always this invisible barrier that he never felt he could get over. something just wasnt clicking

(tagging @choicespride for aro week bc theyre my fav arospec babes <3)

#ty!!#aliyah #bryce lahela #asks answers

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ticklishtoms · 2 years

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c!tommy s1 headcanons!!

last updated; December 20, 2023

last updated: boundaries

Main blog: @strangleetomz

general headcanons:

He uses he/xey/they pronouns

He keeps a l’manberg flag with him

During Pogtopia, Wilbur gave Tommy one of his coats. Tommy has never let the coat leave his sight. Ever.

Transgender ftm

He always wears a flower crown, Ranboo & Tubbo made it for him.

After his revival, he got a white streak like wilbur. Unlike Wilbur, however, he got a demon tail & horns.

he used to cut his hair with safety scissors from his dysphoria as a kid

Dream marked him with a smile in exile, so its scarred.

He rarely ever puffs out his wings

His wings flap when hes happy/excited:]

his demon tail sways / wags along with his flapping wings whenever hes excited or happy

He rarely takes off the bandana Tubbo gave him. He’s owned it for nearly 10 years —hes 18, tubbo gave it to him when they were nine— and xey have taken it off a total of probably 9 times, so once a year. He only took it off those times because Wilbur insisted on letting him wash it because it was stained and gross.

appearance headcanons

Fluffy blonde curls

His hair is very messy due to often cutting it with safety scissors & it not really growing back properly.

His wardrobe consists of those red and white shirts, some short sleeved some long sleeved. He has Wilbur’s coat from pogtopia, and a blue sweater that ghostbur made xem during exile. When it comes to shoes, he’s either wearing laced platform boots or red converse that look anything but new (the converse are what he wore during exile.) He refuses to get new ones. Pants-wise? Light brown / tan cargo pants, or black ripped jeans. He has chains for his pants & belts. He has black sweatpants, but almost never wears them. He has a blue sweater with daisy’s embroidered on it, xey made it with Ghostbur in exile.

Dark green bandana from Tubbo — used to be bright green, darkened color is a result of hardly ever washing it.

Flower crown from Tubbo & Ranboo

Devil horns & tail from revival

White streak from revival.

He’s got multiple scars on his face. He’s proud of them all because they’re from wars— except one, his smile scar. It’s from Dream during one of his exile visits

He’s got black wings, just like Phil. They’re just as big as Phil’s are, however he keeps them folded down at his back so they appear smaller.

He has bags under xeir eyes because they often don’t get much sleep from nightmares about exile. He can’t remember the last time he’s gotten a good nights sleep.

He has bandages on his hands / wrists and right under one of his knees

More often then not, he’s wearing the red and white t-shirt with a white long sleeve shirt underneath light brown cargo pants, practically ruined red converse, a flowercrown, and the bandana tubbo gave him.

Burn scars from the prison lava on both of his arms

ler headcanons:

MEAN. /LH/POS

He can and WILLL point out his lee’s reactions. Like snorting, squealing, etc.

He is so teasy oml

Absolutely will compliment his lee.

If you’re mean (“shut up!” “fuck you” etc) He will immediately target any of ur worst spots

He slows down at some points to check on his lee, see if theyre done or if they want to continue

he is great at soft / gentle / comfort tickles. one of the best fr

his fav lees r definitely tubbo, ranboo, wilbur & phil

he can only say tickle if hes ler.

absolutely does aftercare. Includes cuddles, playing with the lee’s hair, etc etc.

He will pin his lee down, if their comfortable with it. And if hes feeling extra mean, xey’ll hold the lee’s arms above their head.

He’s not offen ler but when he is. Well. Rest in peace/lh

He WILL use his wings if he deems so necessary.

lee headcanons:

pls just give this poor kid some tkls

provoking brat /lh

he’ll jokingly insult you, say “you’ve lost tommy talking privleges” & then ignore you, stretch infront of you, maybe even just tickle you Anything for him to get tkls

Prefers being lee over ler, its like a stress reliever to him. and he loves to smile and laugh. Xey love the tickly sensations no matter how much they protest against it

When recieving rougher / playful tkls, he’s very loud. Shrieky laughter, lots of squirming, squealing, etc

But when he recieves softer / gentle / sleepy tkls, you will have a melted puddle/hj of blushy giggly tommy infront of you. Giggling, barely moving at all, and soft squeals peppered in his giggling

fav lers are ranboo, tubbo, wilbur, phil, & quackity, :D

sweetest boy ever Pls someone give him the tkls he deserves

The embodiment of “can’t take what they dish out”

Safe word typically is red, because its xeir favorite color.

STIMS!!! THEY HAPPY STIM WHEN XEIR TICKLED

Definitely tries getting away even though not wanting it to stop, it’s just instinct. They dont like that its xeir instinct

tail sways / wags whenevr hes tickled :D will be very flustered if you point it out SO POINT IT OUT

Tickle monster tease makes him squeal and giggle. He cannot handle this tease, its so flustering to him. He’s embarrassed about how much it gets to xem because “its childish” but they still love it as flustering as it is SO USE THIS TEASE ON XEM!!

cannot say ‘tickle’ for the life of xem. So in place of sayibg ‘it tickles’ he will say ‘it feels funny’ and sometimes maybe ‘it feels weird’

xey LOVE raspberries, nibbles, and tickle kisses/p. Loves them.

Literally a walking tickle spot, it’s adorable

He has high stamina. It takes a lot for xem to actually safe word.

spot hc’s:

face: 1.8, like i said walking tickle spot Anyway he’ll giggle if you just lightly trace around xeir jawline or cheeks.

head: 2.5/10, believe it or not his head’s ticklish. he loves head scratches but depending how do you do it xey’ll giggle quietly and duck their head.

horns: 2.7/10! trace the base of xeir horns and they’ll be a melty giggly mess, very adorable :]

wings: 3/10, ticklish, just not much,, The most you’ll probably get is flinching & light giggling. Wings flap when tickled :D

arms: meltyyy very melty spot 4/10 small lil titters and flinches, and xey are very embarrassed that their arms are ticklish. If you rake ur fingers up and down xeir arms or trace around their elbow he’ll let out a small squeal and try to pull xeir arm away. Trace the burn scars and you’ll get melty giggly blushy Tommy :D

hands/palms: 4/10 This one definitelyyy depends on how ur tickling. Like if ur jus wiggling ur fingers or tracing the palms, you’re gonna have blushy giggly Tommy. If you blow a raspberry on the palm(s), he’ll squeal and giggle while —trying to— repeatedly putting his hands into fists. Kissing/p his knuckles puts xem in a huge fit of giggles, he’ll whine but they love it

back: 6/10 ! This is a good spot for gentle tickles if you’re trying to get xem to sleep, calm down from something etc. But it can alsooo be a bad spot for them:]

shoulders: 6/10!! same as the neck, just not as bad. high pitched giggles & scrunching up to try and get rid of the feeling but inevitably making it worse. If you blow a raspberry here he’ll squeal, if his hands are free xey’ll reach back to push you away

neck/ears: 6.7/10! melt spot if light tickles are used, but if u blow a raspberry, nibble or give platonic tickly kisses he’ll squeal and laugh very loudly. Just normal/playful tickles = massive giggle fit, their ears often go bright red when tickled if they weren’t already bright red beforehand

Sides: 7.5/10! This isn’t necessarily a horrible spot, if you start out only targetting his sides theres a chance xey’ll be able to hold out on you pretty well. Raspberries here will make him break immediately. And if you catch them by suprise—randomly squeezing or tasering xeir sides without warning— then he wont be able to hold out as well

ribs: 8/10, badbadbaddd!!/pos he will squeal and absolutely LOVES HATES rib counting. Upper rib tickles are the best worst. Any tickles on his ribs make him squeal, shriek, and squirm.

thighs/knees: 8/10, squeezing up and down will get them to squeal and kick his legs, lots of loud bubbly laughter !! scribbling on the back of xeir knees will make them kick up their legs so be careful— unless u want kicked in the face/lh

underarms: 8.5/10, bad spot, but not the worst !! definitely some loud laughter & if u vibrate ur fingers after hes trapped them xey’ll probably shriek. Most of the time he’ll have trouble bringing his arms up so you may actually have to stop for a bit for xem to put them back up

Hips: 9.5/10! Bad spot, but also a favorite! If u squeeze their hips xey’ll squeal n shriek. Raspberries here are killerrr but he loves it! If you’re targeting here to try and get them to move xeir arms away from another spot or trying to get him to bring his arms down, nibbles are probably the only way to get xem to do it.

Tummy: 100/10!!! worst spott! But its their FAVORITE spot. if u wiggle ur fingers above xeir tummy he’ll suck in his stomach and cover his face in anyway possible. Raspberries are KILLER but he LOVES IT. Xey love raspberries, nibbles & platonic kisses here. He loves it all. Raspberries & nibbles here make xem snort as well !! His tummy is probably one of the only places that’ll actually get him to safeword but xey have high stamina so they can last a whileee. As much as its their worst spot, he also loves gentle tickles here. If xey ask for gentle tickles, he’ll often ask for you to give them on his tummy. It’s adorable.

Tum button: 101/10 I had to do a seperate one for this even tho its pretty much the same as the one above. Had to. Anyway! If u dip ur finger in xeir tum button he’ll squeal, but if you stay targetting it for more than just 3 seconds, it’ll make them start to snort. It’s adorable. If you blow a raspberry or nibble the rim of his navel he will shriek and thrash, and if you’re not holding xeir hands up xey’ll push at ur head. Just poking his tum button makes xem squeal. Calling it a giggle button will make him flustered, however considering this spot makes him snort quite a lot calling it a snort button is a bit worse than giggle button.

those two were a little lengthy mb totally not cause its based off me. totallynnot.

BOUNDARIES

NO NSFW. THIS IS A SFW BLOG, I AM A MINOR. NSFW DNI!!

Keep feet tickles to a MINIMUM. If they are to happen keep it like very short (like a one sentence thing) & I am only comfortable being on the receiving end. Keep it to a MINIMUM.

no lick tickles or whatever tf theyre called. thats just . No.

No stocks or tools. ‘Tools’ im only fine with if its attached to your characters body, example being wings or tail. Only fine with pinning & holding his arms up with hands. No machines no ropes no brushes or anything like that Nothing nada none of it.

please do not constantly remind me to reply. if i cant think of a response or i simply do not want to respond, i wont. dont rush me/lh/srs

im not very comfortable with like, sudden or out of nowhere angst or panic or anything like that . im less likely to respond as often if this happens cause i dont really know what to do for it

#ticklishtoms #lee!tommy #ler!tommy #dsmp tickle #sfw tickle rp blog

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allstylefashion · 2 years

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Man I Love Farming Busch Light Corn Glasses Hawaiian Shirt

I love farming because its a slow, repetitive process that allows me to think about my problems and figure out how to solve them. Its also a fun process, because I get to wear cool clothes and make sure the crops grow well.

I like working in the fields, because its nice and relaxing. I dont have to talk or do anything else besides sit there in silence while my crops grow around me. My favorite part of working in the fields is when theyre ready for harvest, because then I can go back home and enjoy the fruits of my labor!

I love this shirt.

Its soft and comfy, and its got a little bit of a retro vibe to it.

Ive been wearing it all summer, and its a perfect fit for my personality: Im a natural introvert who loves to be alone in nature, but I also love getting out into the community and meeting new people. My dad always told me that you should dress for the job you want, but I dont think he ever explained what that means—so maybe dressing for the job you want is just wearing clothes that make you feel good?

I guess it does make sense though because this shirt really does make me feel good when I wear it: it makes me feel like an island girl who loves her island home. The colors are bright and cheerful, but they also remind me of fresh water and sea salt air.

Get it here : Man I Love Farming Busch Light Corn Glasses Hawaiian Shirt

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

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Remember, Don't You Miss Us?

Prompt: hey, if you're taking requests for Sanders sides, can I request some angsty human au! familial sides? patton/janus as parents that get/have gotten divorced and (some of) the others move between houses or smth?? idk do what you want as long as its angsty with a happy ending

Thanks for the prompt, babe!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: divorced moceit at the start, they fix it, other than that you good

Pairings: parental moceit, errybody else is the kids

Word Count: 3738

The void never used to be as obvious.

Patton and Janus got divorced, their children split between the two houses. They manage to keep up appearances, but the emptiness never really goes away.

The kids decide to do something about it.

The void never used to be as obvious.

There were times when Patton would come downstairs, expecting to see at least someone else awake, perhaps Logan in the corner chair, curled around a mug of coffee and staring out the window, perhaps Roman at the table with his notebook out and his pen flying, or perhaps Virgil, just rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he tried to figure out what to do next. Remus wasn’t an early riser, but perhaps—on very rare occasions—there he would be, sprawled across the floor, playing with his toys.

But now there’s no one to make the coffee for Logan, no one to encourage Roman to write down his ideas, no one to chuckle softly at bleary little Virgil. No one to halfheartedly scold Remus for leaving his toys all over the floor.

Patton still goes to the coffee pot and turns it on, even if there are buttons on the top he doesn’t dare to touch. Logan asked him once why he refuses to change the settings, even if he doesn’t like the kind of coffee it makes. His hands had shaken too much to answer.

He still goes through all the motions of making breakfast, even if the sudden tug in his chest at the worry they won’t have enough eggs goes limp as he realizes there are only three of them in the house now. Roman asked him once why he was staring at the carton of eggs lying there on the counter. He’d shaken his head and said he was counting.

He still hesitates at the door too long when it’s time to take his kiddos to school, expecting a green blur to tug a blob of purple down the stairs so fast he worries they’re going to hurt themselves. Both Roman and Logan look at him confused when he wants to wait a little longer before taking them out to the car.

But mostly…

Mostly he misses the flash of yellow in the corner of his eye. He could never quite pull off the color, something about the way his undertones refused to cooperate or…something like that. His own wardrobe looks…smaller now, simpler. He never used to blend into the walls this much.

Mostly he misses the low voice coming from the other room, up the stairs, just over his shoulder. His own voice is too high, too bubbly to be properly sarcastic and the absence of that voice twisting words around and around and around. Or when it would soften, and oh how much he could drown in the softness.

Mostly he misses the gloved hands on his shoulder, the small of his back, around his waist, on his hips, cupping the nape of his neck. Patton hugs his kiddos all the time, but there was something about the drag of gloves against his clothes that made him tighten his hugs.

Mostly he misses waking up to someone else warm on cold nights.

The bed feels so much bigger.

No.

No, don’t go down that road, it only leads to crying and Roman and Logan trying frantically to fix it.

They couldn’t.

It wasn’t their fault, they’re kids. They didn’t deserve to have to fix these things, these were an adult’s responsibility, these were problems they wouldn’t know how to solve. It wasn’t their fault that Patton never learned when to stop pushing. It wasn’t their fault that Patton could never figure out where the lines were drawn. It wasn’t their fault that Patton could never stop crying, making it all about himself, never wanting to listen.

Patton scrubs a hand under his nose before it can start to drip.

No. No, it wasn’t their fault, it was—it is his.

It’s his fault they can’t see their brothers anymore, not like they used to.

It’s his fault their Papa went away.

It’s his fault that he couldn’t figure out how to love Janus.

But goodness, does he miss him.

———————————————

The room’s never felt this small before.

There were times when Janus would open the door and expect someone, anyone, to barrel into him before he could step over the threshold and words would tumble out, perhaps a new idea Remus had, perhaps something Virgil was worried about, perhaps Logan with a slew of new questions for him, or perhaps—if he was coming home on a night that Roman didn’t have an after-school club—it would be Roman, wrapping his arms tightly around Janus and refusing to let him go.

But now there’s no one to keep Remus supplied with new sketchbook paper, no one to sit quietly and talk through Virgil’s fears with him, no one to go on Wikipedia odysseys with Logan, and no one to beam at Roman.

Janus still walks to the bookshelf and runs his hand along the spine of the books, searching, searching for something to read that he hasn’t read in a while, and unbidden his mind will go directly to what puns he could make from the titles. Remus had looked up at him once as a chuckle forced its way out through his lips and asked him what was so funny. Janus had shaken his head and said something had just crossed his mind.

He still walks into a room and instinctively picks up a pen to toss into the corner, expecting a soft ‘thank you’ or an ‘ow!’ from the chair or the couch or the desk. Virgil had stared at him one time when he’d walked into the room and without thinking, grabbed a pen from the pen pot and chucked it across the room, eyes wide, wondering what was happening. Janus had dropped to the ground and done his very best to comfort the poor dear, saying that no, he wasn’t angry, he did that from a habit, it’s alright, it’s alright…

He still has the urge to buy another beanbag chair, even though the one they have right now fits the three of them perfectly, unable to get the worry of making the twins share for longer than absolutely necessary out of his head. Virgil and Remus had shrugged and said they’d be fine with having their own beanbag chairs, but they look too small all alone in the sea of fabric and small plastic balls. He’d shaken his head and said he prefers seeing them all together.

But mostly…

Mostly he misses the bright, bubbly laughter that would fill the house to bursting, drawing a smile to his lips at how unabashedly happy it was. The siren song would lure him from every corner of the house, even if he were knee-deep in work, just to see what made its owner so deliriously happy.

Mostly he misses the easy words, the sweet nothings, the effortless comfort. He’s a little too rough, too guarded, too intimidating to sound as gentle and kind and reassuring, he can’t be the softer kind of support that his sweeties need sometimes. That loss, the fumbling of his tongue, always makes those sobs sound so much louder.

Mostly he misses the shameless questions. How is he doing today, what can we do to help, you know we love you, right? Such selfless care, emanating from everywhere, unconditional support, that promise, he doesn’t know how anyone could do that. For someone for whom love still fit clumsily on his tongue, he was in danger of dying of thirst after years of feeling like he could drown in it.

Mostly he misses turning around and not seeing an empty space next to him.

Don’t start.

Not again.

You don’t deserve to miss something when you threw it away without caring.

This road only leads to silences, silences Remus tries to fill by being too big, too loud, too much, silences Virgil detests and hides away, waits out, curling around his security stuffie until feels it’s safe to come out again.

It won’t be.

It’s not their fault, they’re kids. They shouldn’t be trained to read every single emotional cue to make sure their worlds won’t be upended again, they shouldn’t have to try and take of their parent, they shouldn’t be worrying about what’s going on with a problem they can’t fix. It isn’t their fault that Janus never learned how to let himself be vulnerable. It isn’t their fault that he never learned how to bite back some of his harsher remarks. It isn’t their fault that Janus could never stop trying to defend himself from someone who would never hurt him, never wanting to listen.

Janus takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

It’s his fault. Of course, it’s his fault.

It’s his fault Remus still looks around for his twin in the mornings.

It’s his fault that the brothers will grow up divided.

It’s his fault that Dad lives separately from them now.

But damn, he misses Patton so much.

———————————————

Logan: So we’re in agreement, this happens this Friday.

emo-nightmare: no need for all the grammar there L

Princey: Yes! This Friday™! It will be glorious and victorious!

living nightmare: we all will shout uproarious?

emo-nightmare: cause life is so euphorious

Logan: That’s not a word, Virgil.

emo-nightmare: if you wanna write to disney and tell em theyre using made up words i can think of better places for u to start

Princey: no virge don’t he’ll actually do it

Logan: Putting that aside, we agree that we’re doing this this Friday, yes?

Princey: Yep. Dad thinks we’re gonna go to the park to hang out after school and he’s meeting us there.

emo-nightmare: papa’s got a photoshoot with that new brand and rem and i suggested the park at 530

living nightmare: I got the fake blood and mannequin heads

Princey: REMSU WHAT THE FUKC

emo-nightmare: wow how is L letting yo make that many typos

Princey: fuck off V

living nightmare: how is Dad letting you get away with swearing that much

Princey: I am disowning you

living nightmare: on what grounds?

Princey: on the grounds that your a douchebag and you swear every two words

emo-nightmare: *you’re are u proud of me L

Logan: Had you not used the ‘u’, I would be

emo-nightmare: smh when will I be enough

Princey: you don’t need to be enough for us to love u now NO MORE SAD TALK IT IS OPERATION GET OUR DADS TO PULL THEIR HEADS OUTTA THEIR ASSES TIME

Logan: Everything is a go?

Princey: Sure is!

emo-nightmare: Roger

living nightmare: so I shouldn’t bring the mannequin heads?

Logan: No.

Princey: NO

emo-nightmare: guess not

living nightmare: :(

———————————————

In the end, it’s surprisingly easy for their kids to do things without them noticing.

Patton doesn’t Roman sneaking a camera into his backpack on the way to school, or the way he nods at Logan as they spilt up upon reaching the gates. He’s too preoccupied with scanning the parking lot, seeing if maybe, just maybe, there’s another familiar car here that he shouldn’t be caught looking at.

He doesn’t notice the way Logan texts him to remind him that they’ll be meeting at the park, across the street from the library, at 5:30 pm sharp, next to the fountain, and says that Patton will be there, not him. He’s too busy remember the last time he was at that fountain.

Janus doesn’t notice the way Remus pouts one more time at Virgil as they get ready to go, sighing and rolling his eyes about how boring the others are getting. He’s too focused on how he still expects to see a different person in the passenger seat as he drops them off a block away from the school.

He doesn’t notice the way Virgil doesn’t ask him to remember that they’re meeting after school in the park so he can help with taking the photos, but tells him, in no uncertain terms, that Janus better be in the park by the fountain at 5:30. He’s…busy remembering why he agreed to have the photoshoot by the fountain in the first place.

“Wait, why don’t you want to do the partner photoshoot?”

Janus sighs, leaning back against the fountain. “Because it has me fake being a couple.”

Patton’s mouth opens and closes and Janus sighs. Patton looks at the ground.

“I don’t believe that kind of bond can be just an arrangement,” he says after a moment, “as if it were a…contract or something. For something that they want but not—not like that.”

The fountain burbles quietly. Janus tips his head back to look at the stars.

“And what do you want?”

Patton turns, straightening as the frustration in his voice drifts away. “What do I want?”

Janus nods.

“What a good question,” he murmurs, looking at him, “what I want…is for you to come closer.”

Janus blinks in shock, his brow furrows just the slightest bit. Patton smiles and beckons.

“Yes,” he encourages when he takes a tentative step, “come closer.”

He stands to his full height as he stops in front of him, still searching his face for a clue as to what is going on. He doesn’t hold his gaze, instead looking at him with such awe that the sweet thing flushes. His hands come up slowly, hovering above his shoulders before carefully, carefully taking hold of his arms.

“This,” he breathes, “is what I want,” he says as his fingers toy with the roughness of his jacket, “this is what I want, what I have always wanted.”

Oh.

Janus’s breath catches in his throat but Patton doesn’t stop.

“To have you here in my arms and to know—“ his gaze flashes up to catch Janus’s— “that you feel at home here.”

As his eyes go wide, Patton takes them a step away from the fountain. His gaze searches his face desperately.

“Tell me,” he asks, “do you still feel comfortable here? With me? Is it still home for you?”

It’s too much. The way his gaze threatens to tear his heart from his chest, his words pluck his walls apart, brick by brick, it’s too much. He can be the friend, he can’t—he can’t see Patton like this.

“Please…please…don't turn away from me—look at me.” A hand catches his chin, guiding him back. “Look in my eyes.”

I can’t, he wants to say, it’ll hurt when I have to look away.

“Are you scared?” His face falls. “By what? I won’t hurt you, I’d never hurt you, unless…”

He swallows, and something flickers behind his eyes.

“…you want to go?”

“It’s not that,” he manages, closing his eyes as he shakes his head, “I promise it’s not that.”

“If not, then what?”

“The others—I can’t—“

He doesn’t let him finish, swiftly cutting him off with a shake of his head. “No. No one can tell you that you can’t be here with me. I want you here, as long as you want to be here.”

I can stay? he asks with the furrow between his brows.

You can stay, he replies with the appearance of a smile.

“I know what I want, Janus.” Patton takes the smallest step closer. “Always have. And there was a time when…when you wanted that too.”

Janus chuckles. “You sound ridiculous.”

Patton laughs too. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m happy to be ridiculous if it lets me…”

He trails off and Janus frowns.

“…lets you what?”

“Be yours,” he murmurs as Janus’s heart pounds, “and to hear you be called mine.”

His face contorts as he traces the curve of his cheek again. He follows the trail of warmth, pushing into it with the hesitant desperation of a single trickle of water, halted by a dam in the river.

“You’re still here,” comes the quiet observation, “so clearly you're not afraid…are you?”

“…I don’t know anymore.”

“Then if you didn't trust me…” He swallows. “Then I’d ask you to—to go. Because I don’t want you to be here if you don’t want to be.”

The thought of leaving sends a spike through his ribs, punching a breath out of his lungs. He presses into his hand as much as he dares.

“…but if you do trust me,” he whispers, the fountain still humming behind them, “if you are truly not afraid of my touch as you've shown…close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Close them,” he repeats, “…please.”

He does as bid, all but thrumming in his hands. The hand on his cheek trembles for barely a moment, as if its owner is suddenly overcome by the realization that they’re here, before he feels a warmth next to his face and a puff of breath that isn’t his own.

“W-wait!”

The air freezes.

His eyes fly open as he struggles to process what just happened.

Patton. Patton. His Patton. He—he loves him. He invited him here tonight because he loves him. He wants to spend time with him because he loves him.

Gods above, he loves him.

He—gods, he just tried to kiss him because he loves him.

He just tried to kiss him.

And he—

—oh, gods, he told him to wait.

“Patton—“ he tries to find him but it’s too late.

The second he meets his eyes, he’s met with a tidal wave of anguish, slammed quickly behind iron doors that fail to banish the hurt from his expression. It breaks his heart.

“I understand,” he says lowly, going to move away, “I understand—“

“No—please, listen to me, I—“

“You don’t have to say anything,” he says smoothly, his hand already leaving his face, “I understand. That was an abuse of power, it was not my intention to—“

“I didn’t mean it like that, I don’t want you to think that I—“

“The last thing I want is to pressure you into something you don’t want.”

“You don’t know I don’t want it!”

“I do!” His gaze flares sharply with anger, with hurt, seas of pain buried behind smiles and guarded expressions. He takes a deep breath and tries to force it away. “You told me to wait. And, forgive me, but I won’t wait to have my heart be broken all over again.”

“I’m not trying to break your heart—“ he scrabbles frantically for him— “please, just listen—“

“You don’t need to explain yourself, you never have, I understand that you don’t want me like that.” He lets him grab onto him but does not stop turning away. “But if you could give me a moment to collect myself, I—“

“I don’t know how to kiss!”

He freezes. “…what?”

His cheeks burn with the weight of his embarrassment and his unshed tears. “I don’t know how to kiss,” he repeats at a much more reasonable volume. He twists his hands in front of him. “I…you…I’m sorry, fuck, I’m making a mess of this.”

He buries his head in his hands, willing the tears to stay behind his eyes. As he looks up, he knows he’s going to fail as he spots the red-rimmed eyes staring back at him.

“Don’t ever,” he starts, voice wobbling a little, “don’t you ever believe that I don’t love you.”

His breath leaves him in a rush.

“Of course I love you,” he continues, growing stronger when he lets out a whimper and reaches for him, “of course I love you.”

“Then why—“ he grasps his shoulders, tighter than before, “why did you ask me to wait?”

The fountain bubbles and burbles, the soft smell of their drinks mixing with the sweet smell of the water. It’s warm here, in each other’s arms. It feels like home.

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” he confesses softly, “not like…not like that. It scares me.”

Patton shifts, not enough to hurt, just enough to hold Janus closer.

“I don’t know how to speak it.” His eyes fall closed, breathing in the warm smell of safe. “I don’t know what to do with it. And I—“

Patton gives his sides a gentle squeeze.

“…I am terrified of what normally comes after.”

“You don’t have to be,” comes the immediate reassurance, “not here, not with me. I won’t force you to do anything you’re not ready for. I will never ask anything of you that you wouldn’t give. Not until you want to.”

“…and what if I never want to?”

Janus feels his soft smile as he rests his chin on top of his head. “Then we won’t.”

“No?”

“No.” His forehead comes to rest against Janus’s once more. “But kissing doesn’t have to lead to that. It can just be a kiss.”

“It can?”

“Of course.” There’s a pause. “As that is the case…”

His eyes open. Is he…

“…are you asking?”

Patton pulls back just far enough to look him in the eyes.

“May I teach you how to kiss, my love?”

Janus’s breath leaves him in a rush. “Yes.”

They would say that it took a lot of work. And it did; getting back to a place where they could trust each other again, to live together again, was a slow progression. Over a year, at least, but there they were, working together against the problem, not each other.

But really, really it…

Well, Janus turned around, expecting to see Virgil, and saw Patton instead, blinking in confusion.

Patton mumbled something about Roman and Logan saying he should be here, a small smile growing when Janus says that Virgil and Remus did the same.

“…our kids, huh?”

“Our kids.”

Patton cautiously broached the topic of whether he remembered the fountain. Janus had smiled and said that how could he forget?

“…anything else you remember?”

And, well, maybe there was something to be said about the movies that Roman loved so much and everyone else pretended they didn’t.

Because as Janus wraps his hand around Patton’s hoodie and pulls him in, they could swear they could hear cheering and whooping all around them.

In fairness to the kids, they had an excellent reason for why they shouldn’t be grounded for lying about their after-school plans.

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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

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soulwillower · 4 years

Text

heather • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

[based off the song heather by conan gray]

requested: OMG I HAVE AN IDEA IDK IF ITS GOOD AND IDK WHY IM TYPING IN ALL CAPS BUT CAN U DO A FIC WHERE LIKE ITS BASED OF YHE SONG HEATHER BY CONAN GRAY WHERE THE READER AND RICH HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR SO MANY YEARS AND HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACHOTHER BUT THERE BOTH SO OBLIVIOUS- SO WHEN RICHIE LIKE GETS A GF ONE DAY THE READER JUST WHSKWHDIWHWIW IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT LIKE AT THE END THEY REALIZE THEYRE IN LOVE. SORRY IF ITS TOK SPECIFIC. LOVE U. IM RUNNING OUTTA CHARACTERS

warnings: swearing, mentions of underage drinking, themes of cheating but no actual cheating, angst, fluff at the end, unedited.

thank u guys so much for being so patient with this fic <3 love u all so much!

[losers + reader are 18+ in this.]

4.4k words

(also, this fic starts with a flashback and idk if i like this style, but lmk if it works)

♡

the persistent beat thudding in your ears seems to do nothing more than dim your already low mood as you sip on lemonade by yourself in someone's basement bar, sitting on an uncomfortable metal barstool and leaning your head heavy against your chin.

these days, it seemed as though the world was painted in gray.

you look around almost lazily; bev and ben went outside in the snow a couple minutes ago, stan just took a girl upstairs - you're left alone now, because mike and eddie had to study for their exam and bill was feeling under the weather. and richie, as usual, was late.

there's almost twenty other people in the room right now, but you have no desire to speak to any of them. you've been trying to have fun tonight, but you're just having a hard time, feeling distracted and unable to stop thinking about wire framed glasses and a certain bright smile.

your wandering eyes halt your thoughts as a girl in your class - heather perez - catches your eye from across the room, her hair falling in natural curls that makes you sigh in envy. she smiles and waves at you warmly, gesturing for you to come and sit with her. you swallow and look down into your cup of dreary, graying lemonade as you try not to think about how you look in comparison. she's so fucking pretty. you look back up and shake your head with a friendly smile, faker than a plastic flower, and nod to the bathroom. she shrugs and smiles, turning back around.

she was too sweet, it hurt.

her naturally dark hair, long and wavy, her smooth dark skin, her laugh.... but suddenly, your head snaps back up after recognizing a familiar sight on heather's figure.

-is that richie's sweater?

your heart thumps and churns in the most unsavory way as all the breath leaves your lungs in one swift exhale. you feel sick to your stomach and your hand falls to hit the counter to stabilize yourself, the lemonade sloshing out of the cup slightly. but you pay no mind. heather's wearing richie's sweater...

you know that sweater really well. it's definitely his, and for some reason that makes you want to cry.

you blink and force yourself to suck air into your lungs as you look around quickly, anywhere but at heather perez wearing richie tozier's sweater, with all the stripes and patterns and the rough polyester material. you're not sure why you're so caught off-guard, you knew that heather perez was maybe-kinda-sorta seeing your trashmouth. he'd mentioned it in passing a few times and you've not been able to keep it off your mind as bev and bill whisper to richie about it in the halls or during hangouts when you were laying in stan's lap pretending not to hear it.

it hurts, though. holy hell, does it hurt when richie turns the corner and the typical, 'hey, richie!' choruses through most of the people in the basement - and yet his eyes are just set on her.

it hurts even worse when you make eye contact with him and he smiles at you, nodding in greeting and calling a "hey there, toots!" over the thumping of the noise before turning back towards heather.

your heart thumps erradically as you eye him sliding an arm around her shoulders easily, pulling her into his tall lanky frame, crushing your chest and deflating your trembling heart. heather's head falls onto richie's shoulder and you shiver, feeling colder than you've felt in so long. the lemonade you force to your lips tasting like stale water as the sight of richie pinching heather's shoulder and thumbing his own sweater on her frame make you feel empty.

even now, weeks later, you remember how it felt. you sip on the boiling tea and immediately burn your tongue, making you swear as you stare out your window, the snow falling around your house in the dark making you feel an odd, empty kind of peace. that fucking sweater.

you haven't talked to richie in almost a week and a half - he got in trouble the night after the party and his parents took his phone away - at eighteen years old, his parents took his phone - so that he could 'spend time with family' (a task that made you chuckle to yourself when bill had explained it to you about twelve days ago).

it's winter break, though, and you've been missing the last piece of your eight-person puzzle the last few times you've hung out with your friends. it feels empty without richie's boisterous shenanigans, snarky looks and goofy comebacks... you feel really embarrassed for missing him so deeply.

tears well up in your eyes as you think again about his damn sweater, the one that heather was wearing, the same one he'd given you not even three weeks prior.

"well look at you." richie says with amusement trickling through his voice like melting icewater through a calm creek. you spin towards him with a grin eclipsing your face as you shrug around his sweater, pretending not to smell his strong scent and pretending not to feel the immediate comfort it gives you.

"you know, for as dumb as it looks, i kind of like it." you tease, brushing some hair back from your eyes as the sweater sleeves fall back down past your hands. he laughs, eyes not leaving you for a second.

"shit, doll. keep it." he says, sounding serious. it makes you pull a face at him, starting to lift it slightly over your head to return it to its rightful owner.

but he shakes his head, hands gently gripping your arms and halting your motions, subsequently setting your heart on fire. his lips are set in a gentle grin as he shakes his head again. "it looks so much better on you."

it's spoken simply, in such honestly that it makes you blush nearly immediately. in fact, you're so flustered that all you can do is shove him a bit, stuttering out a quiet, "shut up, richie, you- i - okay, whatever."

it makes him chuckle as he takes the soft blow of your hands against his shoulders, deftly running his hands through his curly locks as he shakes his head. "you're adorable, kid."

you're lucky he'd turned around to gripe around on his messy bed for his laptop, because the stupid grin you're sure is painting your face is enough to make you dig your own grave and then hand him the shovel. if only he knew how much you liked him.

you didn't keep the sweater after that night, though. at the time, you'd told him it was because it was putrid; that the colors and patterns were a sin to man and that you'd never be caught dead wearing it out. he laughed the whole time because you had literally worn it to the store with him it with him that same day. but now, you'd give anything for richie to give you that sweater again, to feel that polyester inseam fall against your stomach and your arms and chest, like a huge richie hug (without all the bones and the cologne and the caffeine-pulsing heartbeat - so not a real richie hug, but as close as you could get to the real thing without actually just having it).

god, you like him too much. you rub your face with your palm, the moisture from the tears that had accidentally escaped your eyes smudging against your face. you're tired, almost - it's like an empty, heartbroken exhaustion that sags your shoulders and chokes your throat and makes you zone out for minutes at a time. one thought overwhelms you right now, so as you see a car's headlights shine out your window through the falling snow, you don't even notice it.

you just wish you were heather.

you've tried to hate her. really, you have - you figured maybe, just maybe, if you were able to rant to bev or eddie about how much of a bitch heather is, how she's terrible to richie and how boring she was, maybe you could justify the heartbreak in your chest.

but god, she's so perfect. heather, with her shiny hair, bright smile, her flawless mind and caring heart. she's, as far as you're concerned, an angel. of course richie would choose heather, who wouldn't?

the other day at that party, you'd tried your hardest to ignore your intrusive thoughts, but you can't help feeling like it would all be better if heather didn't exist. and even that thought alone hurts your heart, because you remember the smile on richie's face when he looked at her, swathed in his sweater and floating around the room like a beacon of light.

and you could never, ever in good conscience take that from richie.

you almost laugh at how absurd it is - now you're talking to yourself while you stare out the window, half asleep, dreaming of freckles placed just like constellations and crooked noses, of jawlines that jut out and long, lanky fingers; of loud, chipping laughter and beat up high-tops with cuffed corduroy pants.

"y/n?" a voice behind your door makes you jump a bit, unsettling your already disconcerted bones. you’re imagining him, now? you laugh into your scalding mug for a second, but after a double-take at the doorway you find the angel himself to be standing there with a perplexed look.

"richie, what're you doing here?" you ask, rubbing your eye to make sure no tears are left. he looks troubled. "i knocked, but nobody answered. so..." he says with a shrug, and you ned, tucking a leg under yourself and nodding.

"what are you doing, toots?" he asks, backlit by the hallway light. and then you finally can see what he's wearing, and you almost laugh at your own misery.

but you don’t laugh, your brain short-circuiting as you feel the knife twist further into your abdomen. the stupid fucking sweater.

“-um, nothing. y- did you get that back from heather?” you try to deliver the line as smoothly as possible, but by the look on his face, you did a real shit job at that.

“what?” he asks in an exhale as he shakes snowflakes from his hair and shoulders, closing your door as he walks towards you and falls to sit next to you on your windowsill seat.

“i thought you gave her that sweater.” you say and he raises a brow, “yeah, like two weeks ago.” he says slowly, eyeing you. he adds, “she obviously didn’t need it after that.”

you frown, “did she need it then?” you didnt try to sound bitter at all, but your voice comes with more of a sting than you’d anticipated.

as always, richie meets fire with fire. “it was twenty fuckin’ degrees out, she was wearing a tank top.”

you don’t know what to say so you just stare out the window with a quick huff, crossing your arms. "why does it matter? it's a sweatshirt." he mutters. "i was just being nice to her."

you nod, pain twisting around in your stomach. he's right, it's just a sweater. but he gave it to her, because he likes heather better.

“what’s up with you, kid?” he asks, gentler this time.

“don’t call me kid, richie.” you say sharply, not meeting his eyes. “and there’s nothing up with me.” you know you’re being difficult, but you really don't have the energy to argue with him right now.

it’s quiet again, and the silence is even more awkward. you take another scalding sip of your tea.

“um, y/n... is this because of heather?” he says after a bit. you feel the tension that the acknowledgment brings as it hits you in the thick, cold air. richie’s tapping a rhythm on his thigh, so you can tell he feels it too.

"richie." you say weakly, your voice coming out too quiet, too obviously broken and exhausted. "i cannot do this. please don't do this right now"

he blinks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "sugar, i'm so lost right now."

you decide to change the subject. "-why'd you come over?" you ask, actually looking at him then immediately regretting it. he looks hurt and confused, like a lost puppy.

"oh. um, i just need to tell you something.it's about heather, too." he sounds anxious, and you roll your eyes, looking down at the tree outside your room as wind blows powdery white mounds off its branches.

“can this just wait until tomorrow?” you whisper. doesn't he get it?

it's quiet and for a moment you believe that he's going to leave it, to not bring up the obvious jealousy brewing in your chest. but he breaks the silence too soon.

"i tried to kiss her." he says and you immediately look towards the door, the most immediate escape possible.

your breathing gets heavy; if you have to hear this, you know you'll admit your feeling to richie, and you don't want to do that to him. but you have a suspicion that he already knows.

"richie, i'm so, so glad to see you. and that you like heather. really, i am. but- it's not a good time. i'm not- i'm not okay." you say, voice thick as tears well behind your eyes.

richie’s eyes widen almost comically as you make eye contact and his hands immediately find purchase on your arms, his thumbs rubbing in the way that he has done ever since that one foggy summer you spent in the sewers. "y/n/n, what's wrong, sweetheart?" he asks, watching sadly as a tear slips from your cheek. it breaks your heart when he calls you sweetheart, and you shake your head.

you can't tell him the truth - that you love him, so instead, you mumble, "i've missed you. there's a lot going on, and i just really need you."

he looks guilty as he pulls you into a warm hug, one that takes you off guard but that you return gratefully. "you've been too busy spending time with heather and with your parents, and i understand that, i just - you know, i miss you." you say, voice muffled as your cheek is squished into his shoulder. he sighs shakily, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “i know i’ve been with her a lot, i’m sorry sugar.” he mutters.

it feels like you’re both holding something back from the other.

"i wish i were heather." you say against his shoulder, knowing richie’s completely unaware of the depth of your statement. but he pulls back and stares at you, an unknown look on his face. you open your mouth to say something, but you're cut off before you can get anything out.

and his lips fall against yours lightly, almost as if they’re ghosts against yours. his presence feels fleeting.

you barely close your eyes and press closer to him before you snap out of it, jerking backwards with wide eyes.

richie’s eyes fall open too as he looks at you questioningly. your heart is thumping heavy as you shake your head, more shocked than you thought ever possible. “what?” he asks, as if he’s surprised you’re not kissing back.

you give him a sad, broken look. you think you’ll cry as you mutter, "why would you ever kiss me? i'm not - i'm not nearly as pretty as her, i'm just-"richie suddenly looks like he might get sick, his face paler than usual as the steam from your tea dwindles idly between you. he cuts you off. "-why are you - why are you saying all these things y/n/n-”

“heather. you like heather.” you say frantically, trying to remind him so you dont have to live through this fresh faced heartbreak twice as painful if he kisses you again.

but richie shakes his head, and your confusion skyrockets just as much as your heartbeat."no. a-amy asked her out." he says breathlessly. "-she said yes."

you blink, pulling even further away as it dawns on you. "wait. so... so you only want to see me after the girl you wanted finds someone else?" you ask, watching as the smile gets smacked off of richie's face so quickly you think it may give him whiplash. "wait, no-" he starts, but you shake your head.

“richie, do you understand how hurtful that is?” you say, voice heavy as you try not to let tears fall.

he shakes his head, eyes glossing with tears as he gapes at you, “n-no, y/n-“

“fuck, richie. i know you know about my feelings for you. how could you do this? i’m not heather, i’m reminded that every time i’m in the same room as the two of you. she’s had you completely mesmerized for the last month, you can’t just use me to distract yourself.” you say, your tea completely forgotten as a tear escapes your eye.

he shakes his head, looking at you with an emotion you don’t have the energy to decipher. “leave, richie.” your voice is broken and it shakes as you look away from him.

you’re not sure what you were expecting, but when richie stands up silently you dont even look away from the window. you see him wipe his cheek in your peripheral before he sighs quietly and walks out of your room, shutting the door quietly.

you cry openly as you hear your door shut downstairs, your hands shaking as you cover your face, your shoulders shaking with sobs. you make it under your covers just as you hear a car engine sputter outside, your heart empty and lips still tingling as the feeling of richie’s lips linger on yours. you groan into your pillow and let out another sob, your eyes squeezing in agony as your heart feels like it’s ripping in two.

because even if they’re not together, richie still likes her.

why couldn’t you be heather?

you cry until you’re asleep, your now cold mug of tea resting on the windowsill as your phone charges next to you and snow swirls in the dark sky.

when you wake up the next morning, your headache is nearly blinding. you feel like crying more as you remember last night. you roll over and rub your eyes, unlocking your phone groggily.

but you check your notifications and your heart immediately stops as you see a missed call from richie at 3:49 in the morning last night, and a voicemail left a minute later.

well, you guess he got his phone back.

your fingers tremble as they hover above the play button, feeling like you may vomit from anxiety - the message he left is two minutes long.

closing your eyes, ready for even more heartbreak, you press play and hold the speaker to your ear.

“um, y/n.” the voicemail starts off, and you’re already tearing up because richie’s voice is full to the brim with anxiety and he’s not using his usual nicknames for you.

“uh... okay, i- i know it’s four in the morning, and you’re probably asleep - god, i hope you are, and that you’re not ignoring me. not that i dont deserve it, but i just want you to get good rest. uh, a-anyways. fuck,” there’s an awkward pause and you’re holding your breath.

“you know i’m not good with phone calls or voicemails-“ his rambling just adds to your anxious feeling, but you think if you don’t listen to this, your anxiety would eat you alive.

“- fuck, i don’t know how to say this. kind of ironic, i guess, since i’ve been thinking about saying it like every day for probably more than a year- okay, i’m... god, spit it out, trashmouth.” his voice gets thicker and you can hear the emotion as he takes a shallow breath.

“y/n/n, you make my hands shake. i swear, my heart feels like it’s going to backfire and explode when we touch... and it scares me so fucking bad.” you feel your heart halt in your chest, the air leaving your lungs.

you keep the phone pressed tightly to your ear as richie’s recorded voice goes on.

“-fuck, y/n. i’m terrified. sometimes i think.... like, whoever created me... they designed me just to be yours. and... it’s not in the same way i feel about bev, or bill, or eddie-“ his voice breaks as he sniffs on the other end and it dawns on you that he’s crying. “-you’re you. you’re y/n. i tried to like heather as more than just a friend. but...” it’s silent for a second.

“i just kept comparing her to you. i do that with everybody. i think i’m broken. i love you so much that it hurts.” he’s crying enough by now that it’s leaking into his speech; he’s hiccuping, stuttering slightly, his inflection changing as you can almost picture the tears rolling off his thick eyelashes and onto his rosy cheeks.

“-and i can’t sleep right now knowing that i hurt you like this. i can’t believe that i let you think of yourself as lesser than heather in any way-“ he sobs quietly in the recording and takes a stuttering breath. "i can’t believe i put myself before you. i’m such a shitty friend. i should’ve been giving you my stupid fucking sweaters the whole time.”

tears are pouring out of your eyes as you sit up, ripping the comforter off your legs. you’re pulling on socks and your shoes as you continue to listen to richie’s voicemail.

“i’m sorry that i kissed you, and i’m sorry that i dragged you into this m-mess, that i used heather as an excuse to ignore my feelings for you. i-i love you so fucking much, and i’m just so scared of hurting you. i’m so sorry that i hurt you, y/n.”

you have to see him.

“-and, um, i’m sorry i left this voice message. this is probably the worst way to find this out but i figured that it would be easier for us to ignore if it wasn’t in person- y’know, because you don’t have to respond. just- now you know. that i’m sorry, and that i don’t expect you to forgive me or want to speak to me for a while. i just- i need you to know that you’re so loved, y/n. and that you deserve so much better than me.

“so, um, okay. i’ll let you sleep now. b-bye.” he whispers the end and then the line cuts dead.

you’re left with shaking breath and tears in your eyes as his voice rings in your head. you try to take in what he’s just said, but you think you’re about to pass out.

how can richie love you back?

you brush your teeth almost aggressively as your heart beats erratically in your chest and then you’re suddenly flying down the snowy road towards the tozier’s house.

you realize too late that you look completely awry, hair unbrushed, eyes puffy and swollen, shoes untied as you knock on the front door of richie's house.

went opens the door, richie’s younger sister sat on his hip as he smiles at you, "y/n! long time no see. richie's upstairs in his room."

you smile at him in thanks, too rushed to say anything to him or munch. then you’re all but sprinting up the stairs, only feeling the anxiety as you throw open the door to his bedroom.

you're relieved that he's laying in his bed, surrounded by pillows and fluffy comforters as he jumps from the noise of your arrival.

when he sits up, neither of you say anything. his eyes are red and rimmed with tears, a heartbreaking sight as his lower lip trembles slightly. you're sure you look the same as you take a step towards his bed, your eyes not leaving each other's for a second.

he looks incredible, still.

"y/n..." he whispers finally, his eyes wide. "did you get my message?" he says, lips tilting in a stupid, forced smile. his voice holds no humor in it's sad thickness, though, and you sigh as you look down to the carpet.

you shake your head, "can you not joke for a minute, rich?"

he laughs wetly, standing up fully and although he towers at 6'0, he looks so small. "i can try, doll, but then i'll start to cry a lot, and that's just not what anybody wants-"

"richie." you say, effectively ceasing his rambling. it's cold in his room, bright white from the snow outside, and silent. he looks at you with huge eyes and a red nose.

but you don't know what to say. you’ve spent so long wanting to be heather, but now you've found out that richie's loved you this whole time. it hurts, but you can't wait another second being away from richie.

you launch yourself towards him, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to your mouth.

this time, the kiss is warm, unexpected again but much more loving. it's a kiss that tastes like tears and love and trust, and all you can feel is richie as his hands find purchase on your cheek and back, pulling you so close to him that you can feel is rapid heartbeat.

he pulls back to mumble against your lips, "i'm so sorry." you shake your head, pressing another kiss to his and loving the feeling of richie against you finally. "i love you." you say, feeling his grin against your mouth.

"i love you so much." he says, pulling you lightly to fall onto his bed with him and tickling your sides.

you laugh lightly, swatting at his prodding fingers. "please stop crying." he whispers, laying above you with a small smile. you roll your eyes, "you stop crying rich." you retort, and he shakes his head, one of his tears falling onto your cheek. you jump from the feeling and wipe it away, sniffling a gasp and pulling him into a tight hug, his legs tangling with yours.

“i’m sorry.” he mumbles. you cup his cheeks so his lips pucker out and you smile at him, whispering, “i forgive you, rich. i love you.” and then you place a soft kiss to his lips and he kisses you back enthusiastically. he pulls back and hugs you again, burrowing himself in your neck.

"i didn't think i'd ever get you." he says, muffled by his face in your shoulder. "thank you for trusting me. i love you so much." he kisses your collarbone lightly and your fingers play through his curls lightly as you smile, eyes closing. you're so tired.

"i love you more, richie."

you fall asleep with richie curled up beside you, his breath light on your chest and arms clutching you against him. you fall asleep with richie’s lips on your neck, his legs entangled with yours.

you fall asleep contently, knowing that you no longer have to wish you were heather.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx @brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters <33

#richie tozier x reader #losers x reader #losers club x reader #jewish richie tozier #bill denbrough x reader #stanley uris x reader #beverly marsh x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #ben hanscom x reader #mike hanlon x reader

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yikesharringrove · 4 years

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trans gal stevie coming up! mayhaps? after robin comes out stevie keeps thinking about girls and shit and she realizes that oh shit im not just super into girls; i AM a girl? and she comes out to robin and she helps him with transitioning and theyre still best friends (stevie was nervous to come out bc she was scared robin would think she was trying to get with her? but nope still gay besties!) (and pro tip; dont make stevie's deadname "steve" pls & thx)

“Hey, uh, Robin? Can we talk about something?”

Stevie was whispering to Robin from the breakroom.

“Why are you whispering?”

“It’s um, just come back here.” Robin rolled her eyes, but traipsed past her into the Family Video breakroom.

“What is this about, Dingus?”

“Sorry, I just, I need your advice.” Maybe Robin could see the way she was biting at her lip until it was raw, maybe she could feel the weight in Stevie’s gut. But her face softened, and she sat down at the round table.

“How can I help you?”

“I um, you know when we were talking, and, and you told me about, liking girls, and I explained how I like both, and everything?”

“‘Course. Never gonna forget all that.”

“Well, when I asked you how you, how you knew you liked girls, and you just said that, that you always have, it wasn’t ever something you had to think about, well that’s, um, that’s how I feel about, about-” She took a deep breath.

“Take your time.” Robin had a knack for knowing when to be real, to be serious and kind. She reached out to take Stevie’s hand. “Just breathe. Whatever you want to talk about, don’t force yourself.”

“I’m a girl. It’s like, it’s like what you said. That you’ve just always known. Somewhere inside me, I’ve always known, and a while ago, like a few weeks maybe, I was thinking about that, and I thought, I’ve always known there was something more to me, and I, I started calling myself other names, and, and calling myself a girl, and Robin it was like, it was like coming home.”

Robin’s eyes were wide, her grip still tight on Stevie’s hand.

“And I want to clarify, this isn’t because you shot me down, I’m not trying, trying to like, get with you-”

“Don’t worry about that. I know that’s not what this is.” She was holding on with two hands now. “Thank you so much for telling me. That was really brave. And I believe you, and I see you.”

Stevie let the tension roll out of her shoulders, let herself breathe.

“So, where do we go from here? What do you want me to call you?”

“I um, I think of myself as Stevie.” Robin cracked a smile.

“So you liked the Fleetwood Mac record I gave you?” Stevie flushed.

“You could say that.” She laughed loudly, pulling Stevie in to give her a hug.

The two of them began putting away cuts of their Family Video checks each week, stuffing them into a shoebox Robin kept under her bed.

Saving up to get an apartment somewhere, somewhere else.

It was dangerous for Stevie to come out publicly here, dangerous for her to transition, live her life as she was.

So everyday she put up with parents that called her their son, and people around town that still thought of her as someone else.

And it took almost eight months, but they did it, they fucking did it.

They drove to California and didn’t bother looking back once.

“Okay.” Robin had Stevie by the wrist.

They had barely been in California for an hour and Robin insisted they go shopping.

She stopped in the dress section, rifling through racks. She pulled out a few selections, muttering to herself.

She held up a pretty light blue dress to Stevie.

“What do you think of this?” Stevie looked at it.

“Yeah that color would be pretty on you.” Robin rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Not for me, Dingus. For you.”

Stevie’s brain shorted out.

“Sorry, what?”

“The whole point of getting the Hell outta dodge was so that you could do this, wear this.” Stevie took the dress in her hand, ran her fingers over the soft linen.

“Get me to a fitting room.” Robin grinned at her.

“Atta girl.”

Stevie had her eyes closed.

She had put the dress on with her back to the mirror.

It’s not like she had never worn a dress before. She used to go through her mother’s closet when she wasn’t home and try things on, and Robin was very open with her own closet, but this is the first dress that would just be Stevie’s.

She opened her eyes.

The dress was simple, but it fit her nice.

It was soft, and wasn’t too short on her long legs.

And she felt fucking beautiful.

“Rob? You wanna see?”

“Of fucking course I wanna see.” Stevie smiled at herself in the mirror one last time before pushing open the curtain.

Robin was waiting for her outside the fitting room. Her eyes brightened.

“Oh Stevie, that’s perfect.” She fussed around with it a bit, adjusting the way it sat on her chest, muttering about need to get you the right underwear.

“I wanna wear it outta the store.” She didn’t really want to go back to her jeans and t-shirt, bought by a mother that still called her the wrong name.

“I mean, we’re getting you a whole new damn wardrobe today. So I don’t see why not.” Robin was leading her through the store, pulling out more outfits, tossing clothes at Stevie until she had a fairly heavy pile in her arms. “We can find you some shoes after this. Some little sandals and bright sneakers and cute heels, all of it.”

Stevie eyed the denim skirt Robin had just thrown down. It was tight.

“Whoa, Robin hold on a sec.” She turned to Stevie, her smile fading a bit. “Look, first of all, I’m already so damn tall, I don’t know if I should wear heels, and second of all, I’m not really comfortable with, with tight stuff until I get on hormones and stuff. Until my body changes more.”

“Well, if you’re uncomfortable with something, then that’s fine. But fuck it! Wear heels if you want to! Some girls are tall. Doesn’t mean they can’t be damn tall.”

“Look, it’s just, I’m worried that people will just, they’ll see this tall chick with no hips and broad fucking shoulders and just, just know.”

“Some girls have broad shoulders. Some girls don’t have hips. Doesn’t mean they’re not beautiful fucking women. And that’s my word as a lesbian.”

Stevie laughed, loud and bright. Robin just threw another jacket on the pile.

“Okay, start trying shit on. I’m gonna raid the lingerie department I read some girls use Spanx to tuck. They said they’re easy to get and hold everything in place really well.” Stevie choked on her laugh.

“Wait, you read?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to come into our makeover montage blind. I found some magazines and newsletters written by transgender women for transgender women. There’s tips and stories, and all kinds of shit in there. You can look through ‘em if you want.”

Stevie was stopped dead in the aisle way.

“You-you did all that, for me?”

“’Course. You’re my best gal.”

Stevie dropped the pile of clothes right on the floor, grabbed Robin and pulled her close.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Hey, I just want you to be happy. Whatever that means.” Stevie released her, swiping quickly at her eyes.

She gathered up the clothes on the floor, following Robin to the lingerie section.

“So, what does it mean? To tuck?”

Robin pulled a rolled up magazine out of her bag, slapping it into Stevie’s chest.

“Read up, Darlin’. I don’t know how helpful I can be with that one.”

#it's funny you mentioned not making her deadname steve #bc in the fic I wanna write I was actually thinking of straight up using a different name for her #so her deadname would be steve but her name would be something else #bc I understand how switching a character's name to the OpPoSiTe GeNdEr is shitty and bad #idk tho i feel that could be kind of confusing?#well see what i decide to go with #robin is the greatest bestie ever #she lives to affirm stevie and make fun of her taste in men #i was gonna write billy into this #he was gonna be standing outside of the dressing room and tell stevie she looked really pretty #but that is an idea for something else ;))))))))))#i started outling my mtf stevie fic today even though i have an assload of work to do lmao #fav platonic soulmates #steve harrington #robin buckley #mtf!steve #trans!steve #trans!steve harrington #trans steve #trans steve harrington #yikes writes

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barryjeanblues · 4 years

Text

taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen.

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss.

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand.

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding.

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault.

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more.

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself.

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone.

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with.

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach.

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset.

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain.

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall.

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge.

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover.

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days.

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance.

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it.

so. yes.

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death.

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many.

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love.

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you.

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less.

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute.

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling.

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling.

#this is unedited and also i wrote it at 4am #taako #kravitz #taakitz #the raven queen #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #fanfiction #death tw #trigger warning for death because it is a fic about the goddess of death #and also taako mentions some times that they died before story and song (so they dont count)#m text #fic #text #ask to tag #o shit yea and its lowkey lowkey inspired by gaimans death because i like the idea of a nice death

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w0llow · 3 years

Note

hey bud! few questions for u cuz I like to ask mutuals stuff

fav color? (besides black maybe heh)

fav band of childhood and fav band now?

fav anime?

describe fav outfit!

thank u and have a wonderful evening *curtsy*

hey! this is a really great range of questions and id also love to see your answers as well! thanks for reaching out! (its morning time here atm and im hoping my day goes well! thank you!)

(besides black, definitely my favourite) my favourite colours are definitely orange (like vibrant red-toned orange) and green (deep, jewel and forest colours and that fresh bright green of new leaves but only in the context of fresh leaves)

I didn’t really have a specific music taste as a child (say, under the age of 12), I just listened to top 40, mostly r’n’b because that’s what my older cousin (who lived with us at the time) listened to. From the age of 12 i got REALLY into My Chemical Romance and they still hold a special place in my heart. Throughout my teens I got into post-hardcore and when Issues formed I immediately fell in love with their music and I’m still a huge fan of theirs but recently I’ve been listening to a lot of the Cure, Molchat Doma, and a couple of Ska playlists by Skatune Network

i find it really hard to decide on one favourite anime, but id say my top favourites are Paranoia Agent, Happy Sugar Life, Food Wars, Higurashi, and K-On!

im kinda detached from my favourite outfits atm because ive been so tired and its summertime so i cant wear most of my favourite clothes oops but id say my absolute favourite outfit is something pretty dark and simple, a long black skirt or wide leg pants, black wool turtleneck and sleek leather jacket with a couple of silver necklaces, rings, maybe a grommet belt and my Demonia Shaker-55′s or mixing up hard and soft looks with a flowy black midi skirt with shiny ribbon details, an oversized top (i cant actually figure out what tops work best with this for my body/comfort) with a fishnet top underneath, New Rock low ankle boots (i dont know the make because i thrifted them but i think theyre one of their custom make styles?) and black/white striped fluffy socks with a necklace, rings, and maybe a choker!

#i wish i had more energy to coordinate more outfits #i found a lovely satin cheetah print blouse in a box of my mums old stuff that i want to coordinate into a gothy outfit somehow but havent h #had the chance to yet but its so pretty #thank you so much for sending this to me and i really hope you reply with your favourites!!!

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n-komas · 4 years

Note

Hello! She/her please :) I am an INFP, virgo sun, aries moon, pisces rising! I am a pretty creative person and love to surround myself with expressive objects and pretty items I have picked up here and there! It makes my room look a little cluttered but everything has its place and still feels cohesive~ I love fashion but i find it hard to fit just one aesthetic! One day ill look very feminine and soft and cottage-core like but the next day ill dress punk, and the next in bright colors! (1/4)

Dear User, Thank you for waiting! We have found your perfect match! You’ve been paired with...

Tetsurou Kuroo!

you and Tetsurou would get along v well!

he likes to wander around your room and examine all the objects you pick up and asks you what you think the story behind each one is

he also admires the fact that you’re not afraid to express yourself in different ways and styles

he himself has a darker aura around him (thx scorpio placements) but it compliments your array of styles well

he’s obviously not too scared to be himself either, the way he sports his bedhed every day, but he likes that you can almost change identities with different looks

plus you can make your own clothes!

which is absolutely crazy to him

he’s asked you to teach him how to sew a couple times, and he’s not too bad at it, but he just,, forgets after a while

literally mid-shirt, as he’s embroidering a design onto a shirt, he just forgets what he’s supposed to be doing

which he makes you finish up for him

sometimes he really does forget what he’s doing

but other times, he just wants you to finish it for him, so he pretends to forget

since you’re his best friend, he likes seeing you happy, he thoroughly enjoys seeing you do what you love

so he likes to see your facial expressions as you sew because he notices all the little things

the way your eyebrows furrow a bit when you reach a tough corner

or the way you hold your breath sometimes because you’re so engulfed in it, you forget to let out a breath

also, you are a fellow science nerd!!

i mean that in the best way possible PLS

kuroo doesnt meet many people who genuinely like science

so he finds comfort in having someone close to him who shares common interests with him

even if it’s a different subsection of science

he helps you study whenever you let him or whenever he can!

shopping with him can mean many things

either he makes you try on the ugliest outfits just to laugh at you

or he buys you whatever you want

no in between

theyre both out of love tho

anyways sometimes he likes to have little mini picnics in his backyard

he has a projector that he connects to his laptop & displays on the back of his neighbor’s house

so you guys can watch movies or the shows/anime you’re watching on the lawn hehe

he’s not Huge on bugs, but if you’re scared or uncomfy he’d def make a big deal out of killing them for you

his dumb ass would literally threaten the bug

“yeah you little shit.. stay away or i’ll stomp on your ass y’hear?”

i think he’s a pretty organized guy

he probably keeps up with his cleaning as well

i see him washing and putting away the dishes after every meal, as well as keeping his room from getting too messy

anytime you go over, everything looks so crisp and fresh

you guys complain about lev together

bc that man is a Hot Mess!

never cleans

so the one time the nekoma team went over to his house to hang out, kuroo brought you bc you were curious

and boy did you want to leave so fast

absolutely everyone thinks you two are dating

and him bringing you to the barbecue at lev’s house definitely didnt help with their suspicions

and to be honest, you guys basically are

just minus the romantic stuff

there’s a lot of love on both ends of the friendship, but it’s always just been platonic

scorpio’s are pretty kept to themselves for the most and have a difficult time opening up to others

but tetsurou is never ashamed to be him truest self around you

he’s told you about his past and you probably know the most about him

up there with kenma on the friendship scale

he’s pretty dependent on you on an emotional level

when he’s down or doesn’t know how to describe how he feels, or just when he needs to vent

he likes to go to you

the same way he likes when you go to him for your problems

and as a fellow aries moon myself, i know that emotions come in big waves and are felt practically everywhere

when you feel something, you feel it passionately

he likes hearing about the things that make you sad, stressed, angry, happy, excited, he likes them all

so he knows what to avoid or include

oh and also

he has 100% taken a video of you dancing without you realizing

he says he’ll use it for blackmail someday

but he just likes to watch it when he’s sad because it makes him laugh

he’s not necessarily laughing at you though!

he just thinks it’s cute

but also, yes he thinks it’s funny

he probably will use it for blackmail some day

maybe your wedding day if you plan on getting married

or a birthday party

it’s his job to tease you so just be aware of what’s coming (;

so all-in-all

kuroo loves you with all his heart and is beyond glad he was able to find someone similar to him to share memories that will last lifetimes with <3

Thank you for working with us! We hope you found satisfaction with your newfound bestie~ Honorary applicants we considered for the role were: ASAHI AZUMANE & AKINORI KONOHA. Thank you again for your time & we hope you enjoy your future lifelong friendship!~ Thank you for requesting!

#haikyuu #hq #hq matchups #haikyuu matchups #kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader

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chucklerjuergens · 4 years

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SKIP AND DON BBY ooohhh and andyeddie our boys but if you look at that and go ew that’s far too much effort just pick whichever one you want you are the priority😤🥰 - tom

If u think i wont do both ur underestimating my love for these boys

Who digs through the toy bin at thrift stories- skip/malark: i feel like they both would love to do this for nieces and nephews or friends with kids but i would say skip does it more as a habit. Andyeddie: eddie does it for his many siblings and subsequent nieces and nephews as well. Andy helps him if hes stuck between two choices. Sometimes eddie will buy a knick knack for their own house.

Who gives better hugs- skip/malark: ok so don has those huge arms and he definitely gives the best squeezes but skip wraps you up and gives a soft little comforting squeeze that lingers and he’ll do this little hum and you leave with a smile on your face. Andyeddie: eddie gives short hugs that make you feel like a part of the family since their so casual and thoughtless and not a big deal. Andy gives very reassuring hugs that are meant to bring comfort and ground you. Theyre both equally good but in terms of a good squeeze, eddie gives better hugs since he’ll throw a nice squeeze around the shoulders in there. Andy just tends to hang on to you with a little squeeze at the end

Who does absolutely nothing on a day off- skip/malark: don is lazy :( skip loves to go out shopping or walking the dog or going out to eat. If its dons day off hes OFF ok?? Its his relaxation day and he intends to vegitate in front of the tv all day and thats IT. Andyeddie: they both like to be lazy and sleep in on their days off. If they do anything, theyll do it together and i wont be anythinh exciting unless its been planned for a while. Theyll cool together and relax and just hang out together all day

Who prefers gold and who prefers silver- skip/malark: i feel like don would look good in steel/silver tones but also with his hair gold would look so bright... so i say he prefers gold bc he thinks he looks better in it. Skip likes the way silver looks with his own hair since its a pale blond but he wont say no to gold jewelry. Andyeddie: i think they both would like gold colors and gold jewelry. It goes well with their skin and it brings out their blue eyes

Who looks better in stripes- skip/malark: hmm skip says he looks like a mime when he wears stripes and i would say don doesnt usually buy stripey shirts for himself but he would look better. Andyeddie: hmmm eddie doesnt like stripes bc he thinks they eleongate his already long limbs. Andy doesnt really wear em anyway but he has a few striped t-shirts that he looks good in and they look good on his broader shoulders

Who wears “dad hats”- skip/malark: don!!! Don don don!!! Skip loves to make fun of him and his dad hats BUT skip wears those dad shoes so theyre embarassing together. Andyeddie: andy is such a dad :( he’ll wear the dad hats bc ‘they shield my eyes and face, eddie!’ And like their practicality but eddie never fails to laugh a little at them

Who excessively quotes shows or movies- skip/malark: skip loves to do the voices and hes almost as good as luz with them. Hes got a good memory for movie bits and loves to annoy don with them at innoportune moments like when dons almost asleep. Andyeddie: eddie loves to overdo his accent so he’ll quote movies with this dramatic flair and accent to make andy laugh while theyre making dinner

Who saves everything because “we could use it for something someday”- skip/malark: skip does this at first and gets don im on it so they always keep sentimental things or little trinkets. Andyeddie: eddie knows how to get rid of stuff for space bc he grew up in a smaller house while andy will keep any old thing that hes attached to. They both usually just keep things of sentimental value with a few extras thrown in bc theyre practical if nothing else

Who piles on the blankets- skip/malark: skip gets super cold and wears hoodies to bed and tons of blankets but dons a super heater and always kicks them off. Andyeddie: they both like comfort and to be warm when they sleep so theyll pile the blankets and snuggle together unerneath for maximum cuddliness and closeness

Who drowns everything in chocolate- skip/malark theyre both so guilty of this but they have such giant sweettooths (sweeteeth??) theyre MENACES around sugar and chocolate!!! Andyeddie: andy LOVES chocolate almost more than he loves eddie he’ll eat chocolate all day long if he could and eddie constantly buys him little chocolate candies or things as little gifts

#my post #thank you tom!!! this was so fun!!#i hope they make sense lololol #skip muck #donald malarkey #skip/malark #andyeddie #eddie jones #andy haldane #band of brothers #the pacific #i feel weird putting this in the tags :’(

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inflashback · 4 years

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all the ones you want to do 👀

well, here’s everything except the ones i’ve answered, you asked for it

theyre mostly about my youngmabel au, which i will ramblr about for free if anyones interested :’)

What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

i’ve, for a really really long time, wanted to write like. a scene where laura kinney and henry sutter Talk Their Shit Out, but that would take so so long and i’m not motivated... sorry laura and henry. okay i think the rest of these will b about mabel but. gotta stick with my idiots.

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

this is from my young mabel story !!

“[Mabel] stops banging her head when she feels a stab of anxiety slash through her stomach. It’s not hers, that much is obvious-- it’s a soft golden feeling, the nerves, the--

The girl in the front of her mind, with hair cut just below her ears. Small scatterings of pimples across her face. She has a smile without sharp teeth; she cracks her knuckles when she’s bored or needs to fidget; she owns a pair of overalls she wears at least twice a week in the summer, when she’s in the mood to run around the fields outside her home, barefoot, with a friend or a girlfriend, when she wants to smoke a cigarette or two (she’d kicked the habit exactly three weeks ago today, she’s really proud of herself and her sister is, too), her sister’s name is Mónica and her name is Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna--

Anna Limon, Anna Limon, Anna Limon.”

the reverance to which mabel says anna’s name has always Hit Me for personal reasons and this scene i think is good. that is all

What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

right now? either vera or mabel. vera is... not Right, and not Wanted by the outside world, so she’s angry and stupid to combat it. and mabel just... loves Her Person more than anything in the world, so there’s that.

What character do you have the most fun writing?

again, mabel!! she’s so fun and angry all the time and it’s so freeing to just be able to do whatever the hell you WANT with a character

What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Uh!! I think i use a lot of metaphor and write a lot of physical affection :’) i’m not sure if others would agree but that’s pretty basic!!

Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

yeah...

Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter?

i write a lot of drabbles, but my proudest works are my long fic!!! i also plot way too much and i love to do it.

Do you wish you were the other?

i have no idea what this means but... yeah i guess? How would you describe your writing process?

pace around my entire house looping one (1) song thinking of one (1) scene. figure out exactly what it would take to get the characters to that point. write like 2000 words, fall asleep, cant make words for the next three years.

What do you envy in other writers?

oh god, everything. i don’t know how to make my words flow like certain people do, RIVER

Do you want your writing to be famous?

god no. my stories are mine.

Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

yes! here! there’s one story i’ve only shared with two people and that’s my borderline-ridiculous ‘beetlejuice with lab rats and gay shit and werewolves’ au, it’s the most self indulgent thing i’ve ever written and i love it so much.

At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

usually while listening to songs!! fr example my most recent posted fic is a lyric from ‘cop car’ by mitski because the line ‘i get mean when i’m nervous / like a bad dog’ makes me think of mabel, thus that fic came into existence.

Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

SUMMARIES i hate summaries usually i just paste in whatever i’ve got as the first sentence.

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

not really? new fandom but. i got my bread and butter, dude, i don’t feel like branching out. writing’s just a hobby i’m okay at.

Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

i don’t think so !! like some of the stuff is personal and you can’t really understand from an outside POV, but. most of it is just dorky found family stuff!

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

oh dear god yes... i mean. obvs river youre asking this youre aware of my aus. but i have a billion aus, theyre my favorite thing to write and ive got at least three for every fandom i’m in. i have an au for my lab rat beetlejuice au, too, which i’ll get around to writing someday.

Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

ALL I DO IS DESCRIBE PEOPLE’S TEETH AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION. uhh i use the phrase ‘bared their teeth / had far too many teeth / smiled with too many teeth’ a lot, its because i find it the easiest descriptor for monsters and i like to write about monsters.

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

ohh god okay youngmabel take three. anna wears soft reds and lots of layers-- to contrast mabel, who wears a thin nightgown and has a bright green color palette. this is largely because mabel has been made to show herself to everyone who’s tried to control her (sally, aurora silver, etc) while anna hides in herself. anna specifically wears one of mónica’s old sweaters, because she can hide and protect herself with her family, while mabel cant. also i love mónica im so hype to have her in the series. mabel also repeats things in groups of threes (”hello, hello, hello, anna, hello, hello, hello”) because she’s fae. i love her. ough and i cant wait for the character development you guys rnt ready fr this dumb series

What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

I WOULD LOVE FR IT TO BE AN ANIMATED SERIES but also it as a film would rock.... yeahhhhh

Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

my xmen ones, yeah. they’re really comforting for me. i feel like i wanna give my kid self a big big hug.

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

probs the daemons au or the agents of shield / xmen crossover.. those both gave baby abbey a lot of fun hours.

Would you say your writing has changed over time?

yeah! ive gotten better i think

OKAY RAMBLE OVER THANKS RIV

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