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#and we both watched it together. and then when it ended she said it was true and put her phone back in her lap.
bpmiranda · 3 days
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Honey III |l. howlett| nsfw
A/N: dbf!logan, recluse!logan, sunshine!reader, age gap, tiny bit of angst, mainly smut🤭, mild daddy kink, fingering, oral f!receiving, unprotected sex
Honey Honey II
“I can’t grow old with you.”
Those words felt like a dagger in her belly and she recalled deciding to leave. Not because she was upset that he was a mutant, but because she felt it was a cruel joke from the universe to finally meet a man whom she wants to share a life only for it to not be possible. The only thing she could think to do was finish this last semester of her first college year and she figured they would talk again when she returned.
They had to talk about this, right?
However, Logan wasn’t on the mountain when she came home for the summer. Her dad had told her that he went on a trip to that States not long after she left for school and her heart fell into the pits of her stomach. That night she cried silently into her pillow, the ache of having lost him just like that too much to bear. It felt like a part of her had been taken with him. Perhaps she shouldn’t have pressed him to share her feelings, perhaps she should’ve given him more time to decide on his own if she was really what he wanted. The moments they shared sure had convinced her that they were on the same page.
The days all blended together after that night. Nothing interested her anymore, but she had to put a smile on because she didn’t want her father to grow concerned. But he knew something was wrong.
“You miss him?” He asked her one day when they were opening up the store. Her eyes widened as she looked up from the box of candy she had been slowly organizing and he chuckled. “Haven’t quite been yourself since you found out he left.”
Her face felt warm and she shook her head. “I-Logan and I-we-” She struggled to find a way to convince him she was not in love with a man twice her age, but her dad put a hand up.
“Logan’s a good man.” That was all he said and she smiled, nodding in agreement. “I figured something was going on when he asked me to let you know where he was going.”
Now is as good a time as any, she thought. “Did he say anything else? Maybe about me?” She asked sheepishly and her dad gave her a slow head shake.
“Just that he wanted you to know he won’t be gone for long.” He said and that alone gave her enough hope to hold onto for the time being.
Late one night, while she laid wide awake in bed almost a month after learning of his departure, she heard a soft thumping outside her window and she sat up quickly. Her eyes were wide as she watched a large silhouette appearing in her window and she realized who it was almost immediately as she hurried to open the window and let him in. Logan landed in her room with a heavy thud and she shushed him with a smile. “Hey, honey,” He greeted her with a grin. His hand reached out for hers and she shyly took it, leading him to sit on the end of her bed with her. “I hope I didn’t have you too worried.”
“Just about.” She teased, her hand reaching up to caress his cheek softly, the familiarity of his face bringing her so much peace. It didn’t matter that he had left, not now that he was back with her, but she still asked, “Why’d you leave?” Her big, sad eyes gave away her the pain he had caused her and Logan shook his head, disappointed in himself for not having told her more, but he couldn’t risk her not being safe when he returned.
“Not because of you.” He said, bringing his lips to hers for a soft kiss. “I promise it wasn’t because of you.” Her face warmed up and she nodded, believing him. “An old friend needed my help.” Her eyebrow raised curiously and Logan knew what she was thinking. “His name is Charles.” Her smile returned and she looked away from him as she whispered a soft ‘oh’ and he laughed softly at her. Gently, he held her face in both his hands and he looked seriously into her eyes. “I do love you.” Logan said, regretting not having said it the last time they were together. “Honey, I love you. I’m-well-I’m just scared of something happening to you.” He said, not bearing the thought.
Her heart was full as he told her he loved her. Relief washed over her and she lightly kissed him as she moved to straddle him. “Is there any reason I should be worried about my safety right now?” She asked, trying not to make a lewd sound as she felt his shaft underneath her. Logan shook his head, his hands resting on her hips as he kissed her back. “Then let’s just enjoy tonight, and we’ll worry about tomorrow when we get there.”
Logan nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to change her mind, knowing she wasn’t scared of him, or of being with him. “What about growing old together?” He asked as she kissed his neck softly, his head hung back as he let out a soft groan while lying on her bed with her on top of him. His large hands rubbed her bare thighs slowly as he tried to hold back long enough to make sure they could have a proper conversation about their future before he made up for the pain he caused her with his absence.
“I’ll grow old,” She whispered, smoothing her hands down his toned torso and sucking a light hickey on his neck, watching the little bruise disappear moments after. “And you’ll take care of me, like I do for you now.” She resolved, lifting herself up a little, slowly dragging herself along the jean clad length of his cock until she felt his head throb at her core which was covered only by the thin material of her pajama shorts.
Logan groaned, digging his fingers into her hips as he guided her along himself. Her head rested against his and she hummed in pleasure. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He whispered, holding her close as she slowly rolled her hips against him. “I love you.”
“I love you, Logan.” She breathed out as her lips met his and he then sat up, lifting her up so he could lay her down on the bed. Her hands ran down his exposed arms and he removed his tank top so she could smooth her delicate fingers over his toned abdomen. Her bottom lip tucked between her teeth as he watched her with a little smirk. “Will you fuck me, daddy?” She asked quietly, those gorgeous eyes looking up at him pleadingly and he nodded as he dipped his head down and kissed her neck.
“‘Course I will, honey.” He whispered.
Their clothes came off and Logan had her spread her thighs for him so he could lap gently at her cunt. Her body was trembling as she tried to remain as quiet as possible. His hands gripped her ass and thighs firmly, massaging her lower half as he drooled into her. “That feel good, baby?” He asked as he began pumping two fingers into her tight pussy, his tongue still toying with her sensitive clit while she mewled with her eyes shut tightly, nodding desperately.
“‘S always good, daddy,” Her voice was shaky and he smirked to himself. “You always make me feel good.” She moaned, her back arched against her bed as she felt herself reach that point of no turning back, losing control as he made her cum. “Fuck!” She whined and he quickly covered her mouth, his fingers still knuckle deep inside her as he watched her eyes well with tears while he extended her orgasm.
“That’s my girl.” He praised as she kept her trembling legs open for him. “Missed seeing you like this.”
Her eyes were blurry from the tears of overstimulation as he pulled his thick fingers out and sucked them clean before slowly rubbing his head through her folds. The feeling sent a jolt through her body and she braced herself onto his broad shoulders as he pushed his tip into her. “Oh, yes!” She whispered, her mouth latched onto his in a passionate kiss and he groaned as he sunk into her in one good thrust.
“You want this?” He asks and she nods, her brows upturned as he’s fucking so deeply into her, relentless in his pace. Logan caresses her hair with one hand while hiking her thigh up over his hip, allowing himself to rut deeper into her and she cries out, muffling herself with her hand while holding onto his waist with the other. “You want me?” He groans, feeling her walls clench tightly around his girth and she nods again.
“I want you, daddy. I only want you.” Her voice trembles and he notices tears rolling down her face. Logan smiles as he kisses her, wiping her cheek softly while he’s fucking her roughly.
“I’m yours.” He promises, grunting as she suddenly claws at his chest while she writhes beneath him. Logan can’t take his eyes off as she reaches her orgasm, her eyes half-lidded from the pleasure, and her teeth biting down hard on her lip as she’s struggling to keep quiet. “Can’t quit staring at you, you’re so pretty, honey.” Logan sighs as he fucks her through her release, wanting to give her everything. “You gonna take it?” He asks and she nods weakly, so pliable in his hold now. Logan buries his face in the crook of her neck as he ruts into her harshly, chasing his own high within her tainted walls. Her hands rub his broad back as she pants heavily, her mind fuzzy from the feeling of him gliding along her walls, the smell of his natural musk mixed with his signature cigars, the faint taste of herself on his lips as they kiss while he pumps her full of his cum.
They fall silent as they catch their breathes, kissing each other softly wherever they can reach as they refuse to pull away just yet. Logan doesn’t recall ever feeling quite this attached to someone before, and though he still holds concerns for her safety, he realizes that not something that he will ever stop worrying about. “I want you for as long as I can have you.” Her voice brought him out of his thoughts and he nodded in agreement as he brushed a few strands of hair out of her face. “We can deal with the rest as it comes.”
“If that’s what you want,” Logan murmured, kissing her forehead softly. “That’s what I’ll give you, honey.”
🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯
I hope you kind readers enjoy this little happy ending for Honey and Logan:)
🏷️: @dontfeedthebigbadwolf @peterparkernotfound @httpsells @evasmlp @ayatotiddies @thatlittlered @seasonofthenerd @littlemisscantloveyouback @scorpiosaintt @simpingfor-wakasa @spencerswh0r3 @thatweirdtheaternerd12 @shybluebirdninja @iamburdened
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wosoluver · 2 days
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Oh, baby
Georgia Stanway x reader.
I know nothing about giving birth so bare with me. Also please don't kill me for the plot changes, Hope you like it!
Other players masterlist
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"Fuck!" you said feeling the warm liquid run down your legs. "No, no, no." You were staying over at her parents' house. Tomorrow would be the final match at the 2023 world cup and you would be gathered to watch the game there.
"Jo! We need to go, my water just broke!" you said grabbing her mother's attention. Her dad had gone to Australia to support her, but her mom refused leaving you, pregnant and alone. And you thanked the universe. You were 36 weeks, you were to give birth only next month. You had been feeling small contractions, that were apparently normal in the third trimester.
That was the only reason Georgia agreed to go.
A million thoughts went through your mind. Would the baby be okay? Would they have to do a C-section?
Would your fiancé be okay, knowing she missed the moment se was waiting so excited for? Were you even ready for this?
You started to cry immediately.
"Don't worry love, I'm calling her as soon as you're in the hospital."
"No please! You can't! You know her!" you said followed by a scream when you felt the sharp pain of a contraction hit you. "Please, please wait as much as we can. This is important for her, she needs to be a hundred percent focused."
"But seeing her daughter's birth is too..."
"I know but even if she knows, she'll won't get here in time. Please."
She only nodded agreeing with you. And you asked her to call your parents instead.
──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──
While you walked around the room, preparing yourself for the ride ahead, in attempt to stay sound, you thought about what had led you here.
You and Georgia had been together for almost six years.
You had met at Man City, both came from a small town and were around the same age, sharing the dream to become big players.
You started dating, and your relationship went through a lot.
You endured for years a long distance relationship, when you moved away to play in Spain and she stayed back in Manchester.
A couple of seasons later you transferred to Bayern, where your girlfriend soon followed suit.
And you both finally managed to start your life together.
She didn't want to wait any longer, all that time had been enough.
From living together to her proposing, life felt like pure bliss.
And after the 2022 euro's title, you felt like it was the right time to have a pause on your career.
It wasn't an easy decision, since the World Cup was around the corner.
But differently from your teammates, you now had a bigger dream, Georgia fully supported you, she herself had always wanted to be a mother.
You didn't expect for it to work so soon.
Along with the risks the doctors had told you, it could take more than one try.
Fortunately the whole pregnancy had been very healthy, and nothing gave you any reason to think something like this could happen.
You questioned yourself if you were doing the right thing, by not updating her on the matter.
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Georgia's head was buzzing, Spain was winning by a goal. England had slightly recovered at the end of first half, but it wasn't enough.
She sat on the locker room, trying to cool down, zoning out a bit. All she could think of was winning this, to come home as a champion. For her girls.
She could have never imagined you had been in the hospital for the last couple of hours, let alone giving birth. So she didn't bother to look for her phone.
And before she knew, she was walking back to the field for the second half.
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"Just one more push, yeah?"
And you did as a loud cry filled the room. And they placed her right on your chest.
You felt like you could pass out from how tired you were.
But you couldn't, yet.
"You did great darling." her mom cooed you in between tears.
"Is the game over yet?"
"Yes, they won second place." she handed your phone over.
You cried hard a the sound of that. She had been deprived of being champion and seeing her daughter's first moments in the same day, at the same time. You tried to recompose yourself while you pressed to facetime her.
ongoing call...
"Hey love, what took you so lon-" she managed to get out before shutting up at the realization. A big smile appearing in her tear stained face. "She's beautiful."
before she could say anything else, Lucy, who was prying at the video call, loudly announced to everyone.
"The baby is here!" and you could hear the girls cheering loudly. Running to try and congratulate you.
"You guys are so loud, geez." your soon to be wife said after a few moments, walking to a more private place, so you both could talk.
"I am so sorry." you said eyes filled with tears.
"We couldn't have known." she said giving you a reassuring smile. "I was going to show you this baby here," showing her silver medal at the camera. "But it seems like you're already holding our baby right there."
And for over ten minutes you two sat quietly, just admiring the angel you had brought into the world.
"Is she okay? I mean she clearly looks like it, but since she's early..."
"Better than expected actually. They said she's around 6.30 lbs and over 19 inches. Pretty big for a preterm. They'll run some tests in the morning, just to be sure." you said letting out a yawn.
"You need to get some sleep. And I'm getting on the first plane home."
"I love you, and I'm so proud of you."
"Oh baby, I'm the one who's proud. I love you. Both of you."
──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──
Maybe another part with G meeting baby Talia?
like & share pls!
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russo-woso · 3 days
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Expensive || Kyra Cooney-Cross
Request | Masterlist | Prompt list
Summary You and Kyra go baby shopping and don’t realise how expensive it all is.
“Kyra, please can we go in. Please.” You begged as you walked past a baby shop.
You were currently 23 weeks pregnant and were out food shopping but it wouldn’t hurt if you did a bit of baby shopping at the same time, would it?
You and Kyra had been together since you were sixteen.
You’d both met due to your mums being co workers and immediately hit it off, quickly becoming friends before lovers.
Just before the World Cup, you and Kyra had gone on holiday and she’d proposed to you.
You, of course, said yes, knowing Kyra was the love of your life.
That same summer, it was discussed that you’d be starting a new adventure in your lives:
Moving to England.
And having a baby.
The two of you were young, you knew that, but you both wanted a family.
That’s what leads you to today, 23 weeks pregnant with your baby girl.
“Five minutes, okay? That’s it.” Kyra told you, a stern look on her face which was soon replaced by a soft smile.
You both entered the shop, hand in hand, as you took in all the baby clothes.
“Look how small they are, Ky.” You whispered, taking a baby grow in your hands.
“It’s tiny. I can’t believe she’s gonna be that small.” The Australian said, rubbing your bump.
“I know. Look at these ones, they’ve got flowers on.” You pointed out, also resting a hand on your bump, feeling your daughter kick.
“We’ve got to get them.” Kyra said, placing the baby grows in the basket.
You watched as Kyra wandered, looking at the different clothes, often putting some in the basket.
You smiled, looking at the excitement on her face.
Most people didn’t often see this side of Kyra.
They all saw the side of her where she’d be classed as a pest, where she’s immature and can’t take things seriously.
That’s why most people were shocked when you announced the pregnancy. Everyone thought the two of you weren’t ready for a baby.
You, however, saw the mature side of her. The side where she would do anything for anyone, where she could take things seriously.
“Baby, should we get a car seat too?” She questioned, wrapping her arm round your waist.
“I thought you said we’d only be here five minutes? Getting a car seats gonna take more than that?” You teased
“Yeah, but I figured we might as well get one whilst we’re here.” Kyra said and you nodded, slowly walking over to the wall of car seats. “So where do we start? We’re getting the comfiest one for our princess.”
“I think we’re all sorted.” You told Kyra as you looked down at the trolley.
Yes, the trolley, not the basket anymore. You’d ended up getting so much, Kyra had to run and get a trolley instead.
Inside the trolley was piles of clothes, A box containing a car seat, A crib that Kyra insisted she’d be able to build herself, a pump for breastfeeding, bottles, dummies, and anything else that could possibly be needed.
“I think we are.” Kyra agreed, smiling proudly before pushing the trolley to the cashier.
After what felt like an hour of the cashier scanning all the items, the total number of what was due was announced.
“And that would be £632.84 please.” The cashier revealed and your eyes widened.
“£632?” You questioned in shock as the person on the till nodded. “Ky, that’s so…”
“Our princess deserves it all.” Kyra said before you could finish your sentence, pressing a kiss to your temple before paying.
Putting the items back in the trolley, you walked out the shop two hours after when you’d walked in.
“Mama loves you so much.” You told your bump as you waddled to the car.
“I do, I love both of you, no matter how expensive you both are.”
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widow-tarot · 2 days
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MINI PAC READING: What Would They Tell You If They Could? (Romance)
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GROUPS: 1 - 2 - 3 4 - 5 - 6
You can always tip me! - paypal.me/sadwidow
If you want to support me, please reblog!
Instruction: Think about your person while choosing a group. Do not use more than 1 group for one person. Just to remind you, this is only for entertainment purposes.
If you don't feel drawn to any group, then this reading is not for you.
GROUP 1
Cards: Ace of Wands, Knight of Wands rx, Wheel of Fortune rx, I Like You, Girl Talk rx, Pond, Archangel Metatron.
I like you. I know it's straightforward, but I cannot say it in any other way that's more meaningful or more direct. It might not sound meaningful but it is to me (I hope it is to you too). I feel there is a spiritual connection between us and it seems no matter what, we keep coming back to each other. Our connection is like a pond; can be insignificant to others but to us, it holds so much life and secrets but it can easily be destroyed if not cultivated. We are so hot and cold; we like each other, then we hate each other over something trivial (we both don't know what exactly annoyed us). I want to move towards you but things are holding me back. There's so much I want to do and say but I'm standing still. I know we will truly come together someday. No one knows about it because I don't share those feelings with friends. It seems too private and sacred.
SONGS:
Eric by Mitski ("Take off my clothes and watch me move; You can come closer, I'll let you hurt me; But how long, how long can we play this way?; I'm tired, I'm tired of not loving you"
Blue Velvet by Lana Del Rey ("Ours a love I held tightly; Feeling the rapture grow; Like a flame burning brightly; But when she left; Gone was the glow")
Nothing's Gonna Hurt You, Baby by Cigarettes After Sex ("Whispered something in your ear; It was a perverted thing to say; But I said it anyway; Made you smile and look away; Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby; As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine")
GROUP 2
Cards: 9 of Pentacles, 2 of Pentacles, 7 of Cups, Noose rx, Mushrooms, The Snake, Hammer rx, Seraphim Seraphisa rx.
You will forever be in my heart and mind, but we can never be together in the way we want. There are way too many blockages and I do think we are not fit to be in a relationship. I am in a committed relationship (or you are) and I do not wish to leave her for I love her. Maybe I am a coward, but I am a practical and cautious one. I will not take reckless actions just to wake up one day and regret it. I think what we have is a fantasy, pleasant make-believe, daydreaming. However, I don't want you gone because you're an important person to me. I wish you happiness but I can't follow you.
SONGS:
Lonesome Love by Mitski ("I call you, to see you again; So I can win, and this can finally end")
Blue Banisters by Lana Del Rey ("She said, "You can't be a muse and be happy, too; You can't blacken the pages with Russian poetry and be happy"; And that scared me; 'Cause I met a man who said he'd come back every May;Just to help me if I'd paint; Now when weather turns to May; All my sisters come to paint")
Flash by Cigarettes After Sex ("I'm a flash; You were blinded by the love I had; I'm a flash; The light could only get in through the cracks")
GROUP 3
Cards: The Hierophant rx, 8 of Wands, The Devil, 10 of Swords rx, Wildflowers, Mirror, Keys on a Ring, Archangel Raphael.
You are the temptation, the chaos in my life, the wildflowers that can still be growing but can also be already taken by someone else while I wasn't looking. You're untouchable, unable to be caught, translucent. One minute you're here only to leave seconds later just to come back and stay for a long time. You're unpredictable, a sin worth sinning for. But I hate to be alone and you make me sad. I love to see you but I hate myself when you leave. I don't know if you have any feelings for me; is it something serious or is it just casual and convenient? I can't do this anymore, I'm trapped and I feel miserable. I wish I could tell you to stay away, to abandon me, to never come back. It would be easier for me to move on then but I am a fool for you. I wish I was strong enough to talk things through but I'd rather have some of you than none of you. Then again, being with you hurts me so what should I do?
SONGS:
Should've Been Me by Mitski ("Relive all the ways you still want me; I haven't given you what you need; You wanted me but couldn't reach me; I'm sorry it should've been me"
Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey ("I will love you till the end of time; I would wait a million years; Promise you'll remember that you're mine; Baby, can you see through the tears?; You went out every night; And, baby, that's alright; But when you walked out that door; A piece of me died")
Ambien Slide by Cigarettes After Sex ("Take my love with some pretend; You said you couldn't help it; Had everything that you wanted; When my love was something yours; But now you're feeling helpless")
GROUP 4
Cards: Death, Page of Pentacles rx, The Chariot rx, Archangel Sammael, Eileen Chang rx, Boat rx, Engagement Ring rx.
I don't want to try to fix this thing between us anymore, it's a fool's errand. We tried and it didn't work, it's time to move on to something else because we are just wasting our time and I'm exhausted. Let me go. Let me leave, peacefully. I don't want to fight but I'm frustrated. I think we tried to escape the inevitable but at the end of the road, we cannot pretend any longer. Relieve me of this burden and don't resent me.
SONGS:
Working For The Knife by Mitski ("I always thought the choice was mine; And I was right, but I just chose wrong")
Bel Air by Lana Del Rey ("Gargoyles standing at the front of your gate; Trying to tell me to wait; But I can't wait to see you; So I run, like I'm mad, to heaven's door; I don't wanna be bad; I won't cheat you no more")
Tejano Blue by Cigarettes After Sex ("We wanted to fuck with real love; Wanted it sweet, so pure and warm; And when you say you want it all, I know you want it all; Baby, take it all from me; I always will make it feel like you were the last one; So get in the waves like it was the first time")
GROUP 5
Cards: The Star rx, 7 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords rx, Glove rx, The Phoenix, Paradise rx, Archangel Haniel.
I wish we could start anew, without any bitter history between us that holds us back and clouds our judgment. We cannot fully be together while all these thoughts are troubling us, making us suspicious of each other and insecure. I know we both lost hope for this connection, yet we are still going and proceeding with it in any way we can. We don't want this to be over but we need to find a solution. I want you in my life and I'm willing to put work into it. Are you? Someone needs to make the first step though and it's the most difficult thing to do. We cannot stay still for much longer though. We communicate telepathically but we also have to communicate in real life.
SONGS:
First Love/Late Spring by Mitski ("Please hurry leave me; I can't breathe; Please don't say you love me; One word from you and I would; Jump off of this ledge I'm on; Tell me "don't" so I can crawl back in")
Video Games by Lana Del Rey ("It's you, it's you, it's all for you; Everything I do; I tell you all the time; Heaven is a place on earth with you; Tell me all the things you wanna do; It's better than I ever even knew; They say that the world was built for two; Only worth living if somebody is loving you")
Goodbye Mr Blue by Father John Misty (" But maybe if he'd gone sooner; Could've brought us back together last June; When the last time was our last time; If only then I knew; The last time was our last time; Would've told you that the last time comes too soon")
GROUP 6
Cards: Page of Swords rx, 9 of Cups rx, 4 of Swords, Sappho, Archangel Chamuel, Cupid's Arrow rx, Separation rx.
Do you love me? You say you do why does your love cause so much pain? Why am I in agony instead of being elated and happy? Is this how you show your love? I feel neglected and manipulated. I feel ignored and mocked. Am I your partner or your pet? Do you even care what I want? Do you care what I have to say? You treat me as a child as if I cannot think or decide for myself. Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think so lowly of me? When you're not here, I don't miss you and my mind is at ease. I lost all hope for anything to change. It hurts even more because I love you, but your love is weird and dysfunctional. I feel trapped. I even stopped speaking my mind because it was met with ridicule and anger.
SONGS:
Wife by Mitski ("For if I am not yours, what am I?; I daydream I'd give one a name of my own; For even I am on loan; For even mine is unknown; So let me go towards the morning star; With hope it won't disappear;)
Carmen by Lana Del Rey ("Baby's all dressed up, with nowhere to go; That's the little story of the girl you know; Relyin' on the kindness of strangers; Darlin', darlin', doesn't have a problem; Lyin' to herself, 'cause her liquor's top shelf; It's alarmin', honestly, how charmin' she can be; Foolin' everyone, tellin' 'em she's havin' fun")
Hot by Cigarettes After Sex ("Is it all in my head? 'Cause I keep getting scared; That I'll always be lost forever; But I don't give a shit if I'm too delicate; When you hold me, it's always better")
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haikyu-mp4 · 2 days
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You're not actors
Fluffy workplace romance as a streamer with your secret husband Kenma for my workplace romance event <3
requested by @dira333. word count; 837 – f!reader
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Kenma loves his wedding ring. It’s just a piece of metal, but the matching one on your finger makes him giddy whenever he sees it, even if he doesn’t usually tell you that.
Unfortunately, he has to take it off for work. Your relationship wasn’t public, so he would rather not awaken any suspicions by showing his ring on camera. He’s a private person, preferring not to have everyone asking questions about his personal life.
You have separate streaming rooms on either end of the house so no noise would overlap, and so far everything ran smoothly. Sometimes, you would have to remind him about the ring as he kisses you before heading to his streaming room, and sometimes he remembers it himself. 
And sometimes you both forget.
This time, Kenma started the stream with his ring sitting snug on his finger and as time passed, he simply couldn’t move past this one level. It frustrated him to the point of running his hands through his hair and groaning at the seemingly impossible task. As the light from the screen hit metal, it glinted in the camera.
That’s how the speculations started. Is Kodzuken married? He never answers questions about his relationship status…
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You’re a streamer too, often seen doing collabs with Kenma but never in person. You worried either of you might forget to act not in love while the viewers are literally observing your every move.
This time, you streamed alone. You recently started a Stardew Valley series where the viewers got to follow the progress with your fun commentary. It was very entertaining and gained you many more followers.
And Kenma knew you were streaming, so it was difficult to hide your surprise when a shattering sound ran through the house and someone hissed “Shit!”
Pausing the stream, you ran into the living room to find your husband surrounded by broken glass and spilt soda with a sheepish look. After sweeping some of it away and making sure he was okay, you hurried back to the stream and started it again to keep playing.
You pursed your lips, trying to act as if nothing happened. Unfortunately, you’re a YouTuber, not an actor.
That’s how the speculations started. Who does she live with? Is she in a secret relationship?
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Following these two unfortunate events, you had no choice but to do the collab you had planned, as skipping it would seem suspicious. So just like normal, you both opened the shooter game and acted like you usually would while playing together, as if the comments weren’t bombarding you with these different rumours and some suggested your rumours were related to each other.
While you swore like a sailor at anything disadvantageous during the game, Kenma fell into the bad habit of watching your stream instead of his game, heart eyes evident to anyone who had eyes themselves. He would eventually sober up, getting revenge on anyone who went against you and then killing you so he could win alone.
His soft voice in your headphones made a shiver run down your spine and you wished the watchers were lying when they said Kodzuken is the only one you don’t curse at.
There were several heart eyes during this stream, and it was not just in the comments.
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You both stood in the kitchen a couple of days (read nights) later. Kenma had accidentally woken you up by stubbing his toe on the bed and you demanded snacks so he pulled you along to the kitchen. The two of you talked about your latest work adventures or friend gossip while tapping your feet on the cold floors, a plate of apple pie in each of your hands.
“I’ve been thinking about something,” Kenma said, holding his hand up when he knew you were about to say something like I’m happy you told me or else I’d miss it. “Maybe we should just tell everyone.”
When you looked confused, he flipped his hand around, wiggling his fingers to show off the wedding ring as emphasis. Your eyes widened. “That’s a pretty big thought, buddy, good job.”
He snorted, scooping up another piece of cake and feeding it to you. “I’m serious.”
“But I kinda like watching you try to keep it a secret,” you teased again before stepping closer and pressing light kisses along his jaw. Kenma sighed, pusring his lips and looking away with something that looked an awful lot like guilt.
“I might have just said I have a wife on livestream.”
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Flashback to a couple of hours before, when some, probably thirteen-year-old, boy commented on Kenma’s apparent lack of rizz. A gen-Z concept Kenma had no interest in taking part in, but felt weirdly offended by.
“Bet you dont even pull, all the marridge rumors are so stupd.”
He would never admit out loud that it hit a nerve, but you wouldn’t need him to. It was evident. “You should see my wife, noob. She’s fucking gorgeous and plays better than whatever you pull.”
masterlist
/thank you @cottonlemonade for brainstorming with me<3
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checkeredflagggs · 16 hours
Text
Aftermath of a Storm
Pairing: oscar piastri x sargeant!Storm chaser!fem!reader
summary: people are shocked to learn about alice and oscar
a/n: tbh i really meant for the first part to have more of the other drivers learning about Barbie and Alice but obviously that didn’t happen 😂
a/n 2: timelines? What timelines? Idk know them
Part 1
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Twitter
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Private Messages - Logan, Oscar, Alice
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Private Messages - The Grid, Fun
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Private Messages - Logan, Oscar, Alice
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mclaren
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liked by drbarbie, teammate1, logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 4,822,445 others
tagged: drbarbie, oscarpiastri
mclaren: Check the weather this weekend! Because there must be a storm moving in —Oscar Piastri is taking Dr. Alice “Barbie” Sargeant, Williams Racing’s Logan Sargeant’s twin sister and notable storm chaser, on a hot lap here in Mexico!
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user1: oh my god this is everything I never knew I needed
user2: oh yeah hey mclaren don’t forget to mention THAT THEY ARE DATING
oscarpiasti: it’s gonna be a good time!
logansargeant: it’s been nice knowing you
oscarpiasti: I’m sure it’ll be fine
logansargeant: you sure about that? you SURE about that?
logansargeant: are we talking about the same girl?
user4: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
used5: LET US IN. LET US IN!! YOURE AMERICAN — SPILL THE TEA
landonorris: Oscar! You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend!!!! 😡😡😡
oscarpiastri: I’m sure I mentioned it.
landonorris: I’m sure YOU HAVENT!?!
oscarpiastri: of course I have. are you sure you were listening?
landonorris: of course I was LISTENING! You just haven’t said A WORD!? Since when have you had a girlfriend?
oscarpiastri: we’ve been together for nearly 7 years
landonorris: 7 years?!?
oscarpiastri: yes.
landonorris: WHAT?!??!
user6: WHAT?
user7: uhh raise your hand if you had Oscar Piastri has a secret girlfriend, Logan Sargeant has a twin sister, or the two would be the same person on your bingo card this year
user8: ok but if anyone on the grid had a secret girlfriend of course it’s gonna be Oscar?
user7: you got me there
user9: 7 years?!? How do you hide a girlfriend for 7 years? Especially one as cool as drbarbie?
user10: user9 asking the real questions
user11: right?? How did some guy who drives in silly circles score such a cool badass girlfriend?
drbarbie: I ran over him with my bike one day
user11: WHAT?!?
drbarbie: ummmm what is this??? oscarpiastri WHAT DID YOU DO???
logansargeant: apparently signed you up to tackle a hot lap
drbarbie: NO
drbarbie: ABSOLUTELY NOT
drbabrie: SPEED AND I DO! NOT! MIX!!
drbarbie: oscarpiastri ANSWER YOUR PHONE
drbarbie: nicolepiastri where is your son? I’d like to have some words with him
nicolepiastri: you and me both sweetie
user12: you chase tornadoes but can’t do a hot lap?
drbarbie: THERE IS A MAJOR DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO!
user13: and you prefer the storms?
drbarbie: YES!!
f1gossippage
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, teammate1, and 3,997,455 others
f1gossippage: a hot lap for the records! Oscar Piastri drove girlfriend Barbie Sargeant around the track twice today! Definitely seems like she’s not a fan
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user14: not a fan? I’d say 😂 I didn’t know anyone could scream that high tbh
user15: those were genuinely screams of terror…save my girl 😭
user16: Barbie Sargeant? Nah fam you did not do my girl dirty like that. Put some respect in her damn name. It’s DR. ALICE “BARBIE” SARGEANT
user17: oh thank god someone said it. She did not get 2 phd’s by the time she was 21 to have that be disrespected
user18: no shit really?
user17: yes! She graduated with double phd’s in meteorology and mechanical engineering from Cornell when she was 20!
used18: so fucking cool! And yea! PUT SOME DAMN RESPECT IN HER NAME!
user19: someone with more experience needs to watch this entire clip and then make gif sets of the ENTIRE thing because her face goes on a lot of journeys
user20: most of those journeys end in murder i think
drbarbie: they do. They will
logansargeant: maybe don’t threaten Oscar on a public instagram post?
drbarbie: for once in your life, stay in your lane. Unless you’d like to join him?
logansargeant: …carry on.
user20: logansargeant what was that??
logansargeant: I support women’s Rights and Wrongs
drbarbie: good
oscarpiasti: oh these are good pictures!
drbarbie: you are a dead man walking Piastri
oscarpiastri: would you really hurt me?
drbarbie: yes
oscarpiastri: what about my mother and sisters?
drbarbie: nicolepiastri soooo…you’re gonna be down a son soon. I can offer Logan?
nicolepiastri: oh we’d love to have the two of you visit again soon logansargeant and drbarbie
oscarpiastri: nicolepiastri mum??
user21: not nicolepiastri supporting this 🤣😭
teammate1: 😂😂😂
drbarbie: I sign your checks. Watch yourself
teammate1: girl this is too damn funny
drbarbie: 🙄😑
Private Messages - Oscar, Logan, Alice
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drbarbie
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and 3,728,388 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
drbarbie: it’s your turn now! 🥰
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user22: the hearts make this a very ominous message
drbarbie: it’s supposed to be!
user22: oh!
oscarpiastri: babe?
oscarpiastri: what do you mean my turn?
drbarbie: I told you! I’d only ever get in your car when you get in mine!
drbarbie: so convenient that you have a break and dolly is back from the mechanics right now! 🧡🩵🧡
oscarpiastri: ummm…🏃🏻‍♂️💨
user23: ok but is she really gonna take him through a tornado???
user24: that does seem like it’s the plan?
user23: I can’t watch this 🙈
user24: she’s a professional?
drbarbie: more confidence in me please
user24: you right you right
user: SHES A PROFESSIONAL
drbarbie: thank you!
logansargeant: good luck! Have fun!
drbarbie: 😊😊😊
logansargeant:…no.
logansargeant: What did I do?
logansargeant: come on I helped you
logansargeant: I’m on your side!!
teammate3: dolly is ready to roll!!
oscarpiastri: that better be a joke
teammate1:…
teammate2:…
teammate3:…
teammate4:…
teammate5:…
Private Messages - The Grid, Serious
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drbarbie
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, charles_leclerc, and 4,288,373 others
tagged: oscarpiastri, logansargeant
drbarbie: don’t worry guys! They made it through the “storm” a-ok! (Come on guys, have a little faith. I’d never actually take someone unprepared into an actual tornado. Plus prime tornado season is over for the year!)
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user25: oh thank god. I was so very nervous
user26: girl you ain’t the only one. Check the video at 14:25. Oscar’s fingers are fucking white with panic 😂😂
oscarpiastri: thank you love for not subjecting me to a tornado
logansargeant: yes thank you my very favorite sister who is definitely the best and best and most wonderful
oscarpiastri: yes! Most wonderful and loving and beautiful girlfriend ever
drbarbie:…laying it on a little bit thick aren’t you?
logansargeant: quite literally whatever I have to do so I never ever ever ever have to get in that truck again!
drbarbie: don’t you dare disrespect dolly!
logansargeant: never!
oscarpiastri: dolly is a queen! We aren’t worthy.
logansargeant: yes! We definitely shouldn’t be in that truck ever again
drbarbie: babies…fine
user26: wow!!!! 🤩 those photos are stunning!
drbarbie: thank you! When I was planning this I knew the conditions were gonna be good for some nice thunderstorms but even I didn’t expect this level!
user26: so you just…followed them around?
drbarbie: yup! It’s something our parents used to do for me when logie and I were young - the driving being a lot more calm then normal is just about the only difference (my passengers complained the entire time 🙄)
user27: oh that’s so cute! (They seem like the type 😂)
landonorris: stunning
drbarbie: thank you!
oscarpiastri: no
landonorris: I didn’t say anything?
oscarpiastri: and yet the answer is no. Go away
georgerussell63: shut down!
landonorris: why am I catching strays on my comment thread???
charles_leclerc: these are magnificent photos! And it looked like a fun trip to get them
drbarbie: thank you! (Oh my god oscarpiastri I’ve been noticed by your father!)
oscarpiastri: that’s cool babe
charles_leclerc: yes! Welcome to the family. We expect you for dinner soon
drbarbie: score!
alicepublic
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and 3,590,455 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
alicepublic: happy anniversary my love. The best 7 years of my life so far — with many more to go 🧡🧡🧡
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oscarpiastri: I can’t believe that it’s only been 7 years, I feel like I’ve known you for a lifetime already — I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else.
alicepublic: oh my love…
user28: water is wet. Fork found in the kitchen. I’m sleeping on the highway!
user29: sleepover!!
oscarpiastri: You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me 🩷
mclaren: you won the race last week?
alicepublic: uhhh your point?
oscarpiastri: and? I said what I said!
mclaren: alrighty then! Well said!
charles_leclerc: happy anniversary my son and daughter in law!
alicepublic: not a daughter in law yet but thank you!
oscarpiastri: soon!
alicepublic: WHAT?!? 😳 🫢
logansargeant: 7 years of being a third wheel and they don’t even tag me…EVEN THOUGH I'M VERY BLATANTLY IN THIS PHOTO DUMP
alicepublic: chill out dude
oscarpiastri: thank you for being our favorite third wheel and for taking these wonderful photos
logansargeant: Oscar is my favorite
alicepublic: I’d be mad but same tbh
user30: it’s been years but yay! Dr Barbie’s priv account is finally open
user31: oh my god baby her and baby Oscar are so cute!
user30: I know!! I’ve been getting fomo going through her posts - like what do you mean I haven’t been growing up with them?
user32: yeah alicepublic can we get an explanation for that photo near the beginning of you on a bike and Oscar bleeding?
alicepublic: that was the first day we met! My bike broke (no brakes) and as I was trying to slow down I accidentally ran over Oscar!
oscarpiastri: best accident I’ve ever had!
user32: ok this is the cutest meet-cute! ♥️
landonorris: unfortunately you guys are cute…
alicepublic: what 🥺 🥺 …
oscarpiastri: what do you mean unfortunately?
landonorris: yeah — can’t have anyone cuter than me in the garage so you’re uninvited to mclaren
oscarpiastri: happily you can’t make those decisions (slides $5 to mclaren)
mclaren: don’t worry alicepublic ! Permanent paddock pass for you!
landonorris: WHAT? NO!
landonorris: IM STILL CATCHING STRAYS ON MY COMMENT THREADS
251 notes · View notes
thepersialionheart · 3 days
Text
My first and (probably) only headcanon for haikyuu is that no one can tell if Kageyama and Hinata are dating or not.
This is something which has most likely been said before but I still want to add onto it.
Are they Flirting or fighting? No one knows. There have definitely been fists involved and one time Ennoshita may have hallucinated when he heard Kageyama whisper that he was going to have his way with Hinata once they were alone. Maybe it just meant that they were going to fight more, that Kageyama was furious with Hinata and wanted to give him a piece of his mind, so the team were now all on watch duty until the end of the day, always making sure Hinata and Kageyama were never alone.
At the end of the day, before anyone could say anything, the two bolted out of the door and ran off without more than a quick "bye".
(They ignored the frustrated glares both Kageyama and Hinata gave them during the day. They definitely ignored the suspiciously placed bruises on each of their necks the next day. They must have fought a bit too much.)
A bet has been going round the Volleyball teams about whether or not they are together. A bet which Yachi and Kiyoko started amongst the Karasuno players and then the managers of other teams. Except, the players of their teams caught onto it and it has been going strong, even after Hinata went to Brazil. Especially after the Adlers vs Jackals match where most people decided against it.
(It is suspected that Yachi actually knows whether or not they are dating, but no one has gotten her to crack just yet. From the way she smirks whenever someone asks, no one will anytime soon.)
Oikawa is firmly against it, not because he doesn't believe they could ever be together, but because they are both idiots who don't know anything more than volleyball (and each other). Some agree with him.
Kenma is one of the ones who have put his money (and a lot of it) on them being together. There is too much chemistry between the two idiots that even they couldn't ignore.
There's another bet amongst the ones who bet for them being together. When they got together. Kenma says since the end of first year. He seems to know something the orhers don't know. Bokuto likes to think that they confessed just before Hinata went to Brazil and became long distance star crossed lovers. (Akaashi told him to stop being stupid (and then bet alongside Kenma)).
Surprisingly Tsukki is the one to bet on them being together since after the first training camp.
Yachi stayed out of this one. (She knew. She definitely knew.)
Yet even when Hinata and Kageyama become aware of the bets (actually they have been aware of them for years but they won't mention that just yet) they just shrug their shoulders and tells whoever is asking, "We're partners. Even when we're not on the same team."
Oikawa decided to shift his money to the other side, betting that they got together after the Adlers vs Jackals match.
But it was still unclear.
Even when Kageyama and Hinata moved in together, when people stayed over they thought it was just courtesy that one of them would give up their room and bunk with the other. Even when they touched or fought playfully, the others couldn't tell if that was actual affection or just Kageyama and Hinata being Kageyama and Hinata.
It took winning an olympic gold medal together for the truth to finally come out. After the Japan team won, everyone was on a high. In the heat of the moment, Hinata and Kageyama drew each other in for a bone crushing hug, whispering sweet nothings to each other as tears of joy spilt out of both of their eyes.
Their foreheads touched. Suddenly, it was like the entire court was quiet. It wasn't long before lips met and cheers erupted around them.
In an interview later, the both of them would be asked about their relationship.
"We've always been partners. We just thought it was time the rest of the world knew."
The only problem now was, when asked about when or how they got together, both Kageyama and Hinata would be vague. Perhaps they would mention a detail about how they confessed to each other. Yet, no one could tell when exactly it happened.
What they did let people know was that Oikawa was most definitely wrong about his guess and he could go suck it for thinking they were idiots who would take so long to realise their feelings for each other.
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tategaminu · 23 hours
Text
Some predictions for S7
It seems some people are concerned about Rayla and Callum being separated for half the season when I honestly don't think that will be the case. They have never been separated more than two episodes, you could say "well it could happen now!" but I doubt they would do that in the same season we will fully see them together for the first time.
Now some proof or my own guesses to favour this:
In this screenshot Rayla isn't with Callum, she could be out of frame but I don't think so.
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I'm guessing he went ahead since maybe Rayla's wings weren't working anymore (they said they didnt't last forever if I remember correctly)
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Look how sad he looks, he has no gf to cheer him up over Katolis' destruction.
Now, we see Rayla and Ronaldo standing up in front of the Banterlodge, why are they here? I think Callum told them to meet there since it's a place both him and Rayla know.
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Why is she in attack mode?
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Looking at the trees it seems Ezran, Aanya and the animals seem to be around the banterlodge. Maybe Rayla sees the katolians coming or Ezran asking Corvus and Soren to arrest Raul and she gets defensive ofc, tho it doesn't seem to be an overly agressive stance.
We have confirmation that Callum and Ezran will have a conflict and Ezran is gonna be mad about Runaan, so maybe Callum defends Runaan here and confesses that he is the one who fred him, making the brothers fight. An upset Callum then leaves with Rancher and Rayla.
My guesses are, Callum and Rayla separate in episode 1 and reunite in late episode 2 or early episode 3 (they tend to "meet" in the second episode lol) maybe ep 2 ends with them meeting and the cliffhanger of Ezran finding out about Ronald.
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Callum, Rayla and Richard arrive at the Silvergroove (perhaps is on episode 3 to parallel season 3) we get the Ruthari reunion and Rayla's trial in the same episode, a confirmed to be a very emotional episode.
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The place Rayla is having her trial on seems to be the lottus pond thing, we only see her, The Keeper (I didn't know moonshadows could have beards okay dude) and the ghosts of the deceased assassins. I'm guessing she will have to be forgiven by them to be accepted back on The Silvergroove and she will need a lot of emotional support, I don't see why Callum wouldn't be there since he was there when she found out about her ghosting so he being there when she gets unghosted makes all the sense.
Callum, Stella and the other ones are out of frame probably watching this, unless this is another place where they aren't allowed.
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I wouldn't be suprised if Rayla doesn't want to go with the trial at all but we get a little callback to this with Callum saying something similar, maybe even more agressive this time.
Now onto the next clue, this oopsie leaked scene by the animation company:
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Stella jugglinga adoraburrs! look how cute!
I'm fully convinced this is a rayllum scene, it screams romance with the flowers and singing baitlings "oh it could be ruthari!" yeah? maybe? but let's look at the clues shall we:
Stella is there, Stella is always with Rayla
Callum and Rayla love adoraburrs
Sneezles is there, Sneezles is always with Callum
There are two lovebirds and Rayllum tends to attract animals (very disney princess/prince if you ask me)
The baitlings are singing, screams Rayllum corniness (kiss the girl!)
Rayla and Callum have something going on with boats
Maybe Callum and Rayla decided to take the rest of the baitlings with them to the Silvergroove (for some reason)
Maybe this scene isn't before the mid season at all and it's at the end! but for now I choose to believe it's kind of the calm before the storm scene. Maybe Rayla and Callum are celebrating her unghosting, before Aaravos starts fcking shit up and they have to leave and go back to Ezran. I don't think this will happen in the way to The Silvergroove because 1) third wheeling Runaan would be uncomfortable and I don't think Callum would prepare this at all in the way unless he wanted to annoy him hard idk 2) Rayla and Callum didn't need to cross water to arrive at TS the first time.
I'm choosing also not to believe this is at the end because them leaving The Silvergroove mid season for them to come back at the end wouldn't make much sense to me unless they are getting married right in this scene mostly because I don't think Rayla and Callum will choose to live in there, at least for now, and this will be the end of the arc not the series so yeah, they could be visiting tho and this could be a chilling ending scene.
In a summary, I don't think rayllum will be separated for a lot of episodes and Callum is totally going to The Shitlvergroove maybe they will get separated again when she gets kidnapped
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listen you can't separate them for much unless it's against their will
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bangpop91 · 1 day
Text
The Breakfast Aisle
I am finally caught up! This is is my story for Day 5 of @bucktommypositivityweek and today's prompt is coming out scenes. I hope you all enjoy this short little drabble.
Buck and Tommy had a rare Saturday where both of their days off lined up, so they were taking advantage of it to spend time together while catching up on domestic chores and errands. That morning they’d already gotten the laundry sorted and several loads of laundry finished, written up their meal plan and shopping list for the week. Currently they were traversing the grocery store, getting their weekly groceries and picking up the ingredients for the chopped salad and Tiramisu they had been told to bring to the 118 family barbecue that evening.
They were in the middle of the breakfast aisle comparing the nutrition labels for two different brands of pancake mix that proclaimed to be high in protein.
“Buck?” He turned around at the familiar voice, not expecting to see Taylor standing there with her own basket of groceries over her arm. 
“Hey Taylor.” He says, doing his best to be friendly. Their breakup had been as amicable as it could have been given all of the circumstances of the last few months of their relationship. He might not be the biggest fan of her tell-all book about the 118 but he is grateful she protected their identities at least. “How've you been?” He asks, trying not to sound uncomfortable as Tommy sticks the chosen brand of pancake mix into their cart and marking it off the list.
“I've been good, really busy.” Buck nods, he's sure. Last he'd seen online Taylor had been picked up by a major news outlet as an investigative journalist. “How've you been?” The conversation is awkward and stilted despite their best efforts.
“Good, busy as well.” He says vaguely. Tommy is patient as ever, letting Buck try to wrap up the conversation while answering a text on his phone. Taylor nodded uncomfortably, shifting her stance.
“Um, who's your friend?” She asks nodding towards Tommy, who snorts at the question.
“This is Tommy, my boyfriend.” He says doing his best to maintain the attempt at friendly yet awkward conversation. He watches as a complicated emotion flashes across Taylor's face before settling on neutrality.
“You're gay.” She says flatly and it makes him feel defensive. After figuring he's bi, and started coming out he had thought that would be it. He'd be out. He hadn't anticipated that he would be spending the rest of his life coming out or having to clarify his label.
“Bisexual.” He responds defensively. Taylor looks like she wants to say more.
“We should keep going, Darlin. We still have a lot to do today before the barbeque at Bobby and Athena's new place.” Buck could kiss Tommy for giving him an out to end this awkward conversation with Taylor. Buck nodded to Taylor.
“Good to see you Taylor.” He said simply as he and Tommy started moving towards the other end of the aisle, Tommy grabbing a box of his preferred protein bars and a box of Jees's preferred granola bars for when they babysit in a few days. Taylor says her own good-byes moving in the opposite direction. It definitely could have gone worse, but he also hopes he doesn't run into his ex again for a long while.
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notveevee · 2 days
Text
NOT ANYWHERE
megumi x reader smau | prev | masterlist | next
cp 10: prolly not
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when toge woke up late, again. “he should probably stop streaming so much” is the advice yuta gave to toge although he did NOT take it. but now he has 20 minutes until he has to be at class. ☹️
he arrives 2 minutes late, internally thanking yuta for reminding him to do his homework last night. i mean, he did it.. but most of the answers were copied offline.
yuji sits next to him again. and almost immediately starts a conversation with him, maybe maki was right.. he is loud. toge sinks deeper into turtle neck and closes his eyes hoping he would get the hint to talk to him later.
he doesnt, whatever…… i guess i actually have to talk to him. toge listens to whatever he was saying and it sounds like he is trying to find out if he is a streamer or not. “so.. i was on… Twitch.. the other day.. ever heard of it..?” yuji says. “yeah. arent you a streamer” toge replies, hopefully he didnt sound too mean.
yujis eyes widen slightly as his voice goes down to a whisper “WHAT HOW DID YOU KNOW” yuji whispers. “my friend watches your streams” yuji makes a quiet “oh” … “are they also a streamer” yuji asks. “mhm” toge replies
“we should stream together sometime!” yuji excitedly says. “oh, i dont know if one of my friends would be… thrilled… to meet you”
“whatttt…. why nott”
“i dunno, shes been weird lately” toge laughs slightly
“mmhm”
they both go back to their notes
at the last 5 minutes of class they resume their conversation on streaming, “we really should, it would be good for our accounts” yuji says with a smile
“i could probably get 2/3 of my friends to come. one might be a little harder” toge says
“do you want my number so we can plan it ?”
“sure. its xxx-xxx-xxxx” toge says
“thanks!” yuji walks off when the class ends
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spongebob pfp!!!
i do have a test on monday 😭😭
i got a 98 on my science test guys!! (clap)
heh!!
so smarttt!!
maki keeps auto correcting to maki
OH IT DOESNT DO IT THAT TIME THO.
MAKING
toge did NOT listen to maki.
btw i do nkt proofread anythin i write, you can probaly tell tho.
MY PHONE IS SO GLICTHY
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
no i didnt spell prolly wrong 🌀🌀
your telling me a shrimp fried this rice
when yuji said theyre he was talking about maki, he doesnt know anything about her yet
taglist (10/20) ask to be added
@frogtits1 @megumisdivinedogs @asparkofapricity @satoryaa @starmaiya11 @1ndee @tuna-toes @loriisheart @kurtcobaingirlie @city-of-lovers
if you werent tagged then idk… sorry…..
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fieldofdaisiies · 1 day
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nessian week masterlist
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I haven’t done headcanons in a long time, and for this prompt it felt so right to do some fluffy modern Nessian + daughter Alayla ones
while on the outside Cassian is this strong and tough army general, behind closed doors and especially with his daughter, his is this big soft teddy bear
there is not a single wish he would not fulfil his little daughter (or his wonderful wife Nesta)
that can reach from breakfast in bed, to tea parties with her stuffed animals or going to Disney Land
“Try it!” Alayla is beaming, watching how Cassian takes a bite from the chocolate cookie she has just made. She mixed together all sorts of things in the kitchen, Cassian watched her and then helped her bake them (he would never allow her to use the oven alone).
Cassian fights the urge to grimace, tries to force a smile on his lips while nodding, and forcing down the bite. It’s disgusting, but how should he tell her?
“Lovely,” he brings out, still trying to smile.
But Alayla pouts, reading him just as well as her mother. “You hate them?” She furrows her brows, and silver lines her eyes.
So, Cassian is quick, shoving the whole cookie into his mouth and then a second one. “No. Deli-f-oms.” He holds both his thumbs up. “I momf them.”
Alayla also loves to play beauty salon and paint her parents nails, or do their hair
“Your right hand, daddy.” Alayla throws her hands, also the one tightly clasping the nail polish brush with the hot pink tip, into the air. “You need to focus, we are not doing this for fun. This is business.” She rolls her eyes and with the toss of her hair over her right shoulder she reaches for Cassian’s hand and holds it down before starting to paint his thumb and also the skin around it in bright pink.
Nesta laughs, slightly mischievously, from where she is leaning against the doorframe, her gaze moving from her daughter and Cassian to her own hands and the bright orange and pastel green gracing her nails, and the skin around them.
“Mummy always calls you my pretty man so we need to do your hair next.” Alayla thankfully spared Nesta’s hair. She explained to her daughter that it would be lovely if the blow-out she had done just the day before could stay the way it is.
Reluctantly, Alayla had agreed and decided to do Cassian’s hair instead, braiding some strands and pinning others with Barbie and Paw Patrol hair clips. (Also, on more than one occasion has it happened already that Nesta went to work with a one of those hair clips pinned to her hair). 
Rhys and Az will never let Cassian forget that one day he also forgot to remove the hot pink from his nails and fingers and showed up like this to training – “A sight for sore eyes,” as Rhys called it
Az and Rhys have been laughing for a solid twenty minutes, until Cassian came up with some stories about them and their kids
let’s now talk about cuddling
this family loves cuddling
staying in bed on a rainy Sunday, watching Alayla’s favourite shows on the TV in Nesta and Cassian’s bedroom, while eating in bed
“What’s his name?” Cassian asks, taking a big bite from his toast. 
Alayla sighs dramatically and Nesta, laughing, says. “It’s a girl, Cass, and her name is Skye. You finally need to remember.”
“You really do, she’s my favourite.” Alayla grins, mimicking the way Skye, the dog, is flying over the sky. Then she rests her hand on Cassian’s shoulder, and purses her lips. “Who is your favourite?” she asks in a very serious tone. 
Cassian swallows, then squints his eyes at the screen before looking at his daughter. Her eyes are trained on the TV screen and so Cassian throws Nesta a help seeking glance, before mouthing “What is the fire pup’s name?”
Nesta has to hold back from laughing, she bites the insides of her cheeks and then mouths “Marshall.” 
A thankful smile appears on Cassian’s face. “Marshall!”
“Ah!” Alayla taps her chin, nodding slowly. “Interesting.”
Interesting indeed, Cassian thinks when he ends up having to play said dog when Nyx, Dalia and Zada are over for a visit. 
Since they are three girls and only one boy (Nyx wants to be Chase, Dalia Everest, Zada Zuma) they are in need of another male dog and since Cassian’s favourite is Marshall, he earns himself this roll, much to Nesta’s amusement
and lastly, Cassian is a great cook and there is nothing better for Nesta and Alayla to enjoy one of his amazing meals
Cassian who was alone a lot as a child due to his mother working so much learned to cook very early on
He creates amazing meals, some of them are only reserved for his family
Nesta will never stop praising his talent, and the same goes for Alayla who boasts to her cousins and friends that her father is the best cook in the entire world
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tags: @helhjertet @moonlightazriel @aayo-whatt (no smut) @crushedcloudx @brekkershadowsinger @girasoli-e-sorrisi @ignite-me @swifti-ed @cassiansbigwingspan @burningsnowleopard @banasheefan56 @a-frog-with-a-laptop @bookishbroadwaybish
for @nessianweek💛
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letsgetrowdy43 · 3 days
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lowkey feeling some angst (said me never) like maybe nico gets hurt really hurt on the ice (like doesn’t get up for a while) and it was after an argument him and angie had when the team still didn’t know they were official. and angie goes crazy and has to be held back by someone (jesper?). idk just an idea!
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Omg yes!! It could have happened at the end of last season, and both of them are trying to make it to the end of the year after an injury-riddled season (2023-24 was rough for them).
Despite the seasons setbacks, Angie had begged Coach Green to let them play on the same line for just one game before the end of the year. After all, their off-ice chemistry was undeniable, so why not see if it translated onto the ice? Green had reluctantly agreed, but it felt like the world had other plans that night as they were no longer in play off contention so really it felt like wasted games.
Their pregame had been thrown off after a slight argument that Nico had started after bringing up their summer plans, hinting that he wanted to be invited to the lake house. Angie still a little on the fence about inviting him to the lake house and finally telling boys that they are, in fact, together. Nico felt like she was purposely sabotaging their relationship and Angie, flustered by her own fear of taking that next step, snapped at him.
Soooo they hadn’t fully made up before the game, and now, the tension lingered into their dynamic on the ice, which caused Green to separate them onto two different lines after playing a shitty first period together.
Then came the second period.
Everything had led up to the slightly dramatic, but also very traumatic moment where Nico had the puck when someone blindsided him with a hit that flipped him around and slammed him against the ice. It wasn’t just a routine fall—this was different, even the crowd could feel it as they gasped while Nico crumpled to the ice, unmoving.
For a moment, Angie was frozen on the bench, her brain struggling to process what she was seeing as he gaze flipped from Nico to Green who was now motioning fo rthe medics to get on the ice.
But then the panic hit as she dropped her gloves and stick on the ground.
She was halfway off the bench before she even realized what she was doing, her skates hitting the ice as she made a beeline for Nico. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. The argument from earlier swirled in her head—how stupid she had been.
Really, her motives could be summed up as her being the only Alternate captain actually playing in the game (Jack was out for the rest of the szn at this point), but to a few guys on the team, these moves were a lot less calculated then the normal angie reaction.
Jesper Bratt grabbed her arm, pulling her back before she could get too close to the scene in front of them. "Angie, wait—let the medics handle it!" "I should be there," she said firmly, trying to pull free from Jesper’s grip, her voice breaking as she watched his expressions often, almost like he clued in a little that stronger emotions were floating around, "I need to—" "Let them do their job!" Jesper’s voice was firmer than she had ever heard before but still had that gentle tone to it. Angie struggled against him, but he held her back as the medics rushed onto the ice.
"Go talk to the Refs, okay, we still need a leader," he motioned towards the guys in tripes who were rewatching the tapes over and over again to decipher whether the hit was legal or not.
Her heart was pounding, every second feeling like an eternity as her eyes flipped between him and the refs, who weren't even attempting to speak to her, as she demanded some sort of penalty for their captain being knocked unconscious.
Nico still wasn’t moving, and with every few seconds she felt herslef going crazy.
Angry tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as the refs yelled at her, and she yelled back, her throat tightened with frustration at the turn of events, and before she knew it, she was ejected from the game and down the tunnel, following Nico close by.
But as she left the ice, she could definitely tell that the team could read the tobe change that had overtaken the captain and alternate captain and that whatever going on was at a deeper emotional level than they could ever understand.
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Idk if that's what you were envisioning, but I can def see her going either completely batshit or like so overcome with emotions that she's not sure what to do other than get mad and cry (average girl experience)
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justanotherhh · 9 hours
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What characters from helluva boss would the hazbin characters get on best with. I've seen fizz suggested for Angel and Millie for Alastor, but I've seen surprisingly little discussion of it.
Ooh yeah, funnily enough I don't know if I think that Millie would get on with Alastor that much -- I think his old-school Southern Charm might tickle her, but also lowkey she'd think he was.... kinda creepy (which, he is). Alastor would be charmed by her for sure! Her go-gettem take-no-shit attitude, her effortless sweetness, yeah. I think while I say "not get on" I don't mean necessarily in a bad way, just... cautious. Alastor has an ever-growing girl-gang around him, I could see Millie as part of it, but not like. the super friendliest
Fizz and Angel is such a no-brainer, seen a bunch of art and read some fic, these two have so much in common (showbiz! performance! abusive bosses! sex appeal! etcetc) I can't imagine them not getting on, and there's a bunch of scenarios where I think Fizz would want to help Angel out of a bad situation. yeah. there's not much more for me to say on this one that hasn't already been said
I think Cherri (who we don't know too much about in terms of various dynamics at the hotel yet, but I want her and Al to get on so badly....) and Millie would get on like a house on fire. and... set houses on fire. I also think Loona would be in awe of Cherri's whole Everything and Cherri would be kind of touched by the whole idea of "oh I'm a motherfucking Mentor now!!!!" (and they'd set houses on fire) -- but I think there could be a downside in that Loona has some anxieties around partying and drinking and while Cherri might be very helpful with the first in terms of confidence, I think the latter could go badly. but yeah. Cherri and Millie take out Loona. Millie keeps more of a watchful eye on her -- now I've written all of this, I think Millie would initially be quite taken with Cherri, but Millie is in the end a more caretaking person (not of herself, we've seen her and her sister out and about!) + as far as I can tell not super into drugs, so there could be friction there if Loona was in the mix. But it'd be a friction that ultimately works itself out
Verosika, I think, is another character who could get on with Cherri. Gosh I'm just building a Mean Girls extraordinaire group here. I think because both Cherri and Verosika are very Trash Pop Girlies (and I mean that only as a compliment) they'd have so much fun on the dance floor, they'd do karaoke together, lament shitty exes -- Angel would be there also, I cannot take Cherri out to the town and not include Angel. you know he's emo about Verosika's music + again, the showbiz connection there. Verosika so so drunk and so so earnestly telling Angel she's gotten off to his movies and he's incredibly flattered. Those three have a dream team feel to them. but watch out! (nobody to say when to stop)
Also I've written a bunch about Alastor and Striker getting on. that's my pet headcanon. aroace4aroace, both of them aplatonic and loveless, both of them with such an outsiders view of the world around them that they just... end up hanging out. they're not friends, gross, they're just people who understand the inherent terribleness of existence together over a drink every Tuesday
Charlie's difficult because she's at odds with so much of the jadedness that the characters feel in HB, but... I mean she and Moxxie and musicals is right there! I think it'd have the potential to be a very cute friendship that also provides an outlet for two very very nerdy people who frequently get judged by their peers for being rambly and overly sincere. Charlie would fuckin eat up Les Mis
Also I do like the idea that Asmodeus babysat Charlie when she was younger. nothing much to add here, just think that's Neat
Niffty! D'you know I think Niffty and Millie also? (Millie is also a Creechur) and maybe even moreso, Niffty and Sallie May? I think these sisters would be taken by the oddity that is Niffty and also feel a little protective over her. I think Niffty's habit of crawling on people she likes would be well-accepted by them and they'd encourage her hobbies. they might be a little surprised by her puppet shows, but all three of them enjoy sadomasochism
Stolas... I've seen some Stolas and Angel also, which I think would be interesting. They're both characters who are quite dissociated from their own bodily needs/wants and trying to learn about them (possibly for the first time), they've both experienced some identity-based punishment around being gay men, they've both got Style, albeit differently inspired. I think Angel might be taken by Stolas' overt constant sincerity, while Stolas... I mean firstly Stolas has also watched a couple of Angel's movies ofc, and so starts off being quite starstruck (they maybe both have this, considering Stolas is a prince) and Angel has a sweet side that takes ever less prodding to get out and I think faced with Stolas he'd take down his mask pretty quickly
Vaggie! I mean Vaggie is sooooooo difficult to get under the armour of. I think perhaps Sallie May would want to (hit that) know more about her/be quite intrigued and I think Vaggie would be pretty shy but taken with her forthrightness and once she's more comfortable Sallie May takes her hunting or something suitably violent like that. I choose in this scenario to forgo jealousy tropes, and go with Charlie is just super happy that Vaggie is making friends with similar interests!!! (the exclamation marks are Charlie).
Blitzo. Blitzooooooooooooooo. It depends on where in his journey he is I gueeess, but. Okay but what if Blitzo and Husk though, because they're both done-with-this-shit alcoholics who wouldn't need to talk, but also Blitzo is a drunk-talker and Husk knows how to get people to open up, because he's a bartender and Husk kinda feels for the guy, Blitzo's having the worst time and that sure is saying something considering Husk is literally enslaved by a deal. so Now I'm almost imagining this as one of Husk's good deeds, he talks to Charlie and the hotel takes Blitzo out for a good time
but honestly so many Blitzo dynamics would be fun here -- Blitzo and Charlie (unlikely besties, where Charlie's irrepressible optimism meets Blitzo's unstoppable depression and nihilism and he finds that he genuinely is trying not to swear around her out of politeness and it Unnerves him, but hey, you can't disappoint a kid who does puppy-dog eyes like that + her daddy's the king of hell), Blitzo and Niffty (there's a lil undercurrent of brother-gotta-protect vibes in both these shows and Niffty, for all her competency, is a Lil Creechur and Blitzo wouldn't want her to get hurt), Blitzo and Vaggie (fuck this afterlife), Blitzo and Angel (BLITZO HAS ALSO WATCHED HIS MOVIES, YES EVERYONE HAS WATCHED AND ENJOYED ANGEL'S MOVIES, and Blitzo wants to make a good impression... here comes my One Night Stand Blitzo And Angel Sudden HC. I think they would)
gosh there's still characters I haven't mentioned o-kay, knuckle down!
Sir Pentious and Moxxie -- both like machinery, both nerrrds, both dress similarly, both tinkerers, both prefer weaponry to hands-on fighting, both underestimated a lot, both very polite Gentlemen, both dating total Baddies Cherri and Millie (oh wait, there's an episode in this that ties to Cherri and Millie going out, where while the latter have a whole Arc, SP and Moxxie are just chilling so hard the entire time). Vibesssss
Octavia is another one I can see in a lot of configurations. Octavia and Charlie kind of a good one, princesses hanging out, I think initially there'd be a bit of personality friction, but I think Via could benefit from a Charlie in her life + they both have daddy issues. Via would also get on really really well with Vaggie I think, so if we've got a Cherri+Millie+Loona constellation, then we've got a parallel Charlie+Vaggie+Via one, where Vaggie kinda balances out the two very intensely in different directions energies and the three of them have a much quieter night, ultimately, than the other three (why is this all ending up as one big headcanon where everyone meets up and it's a party and some people go out and others stay in and there's a bunch of character development?)
Fizzie btw could go either way in this scenario. he has a foot in both worlds, but I read him as more of a homebody than a partygoer. he's just a very flamboyant homebody, so I think he'd prefer to do his nails with Charlie and Vaggie and Via than to go dancing/burning shit up with Cherri and Angel and Millie and Verosika and Loona. Stolas, I just realised, also hanging out and doing nails and the like, I think also good bonding time for him and Via + he and Charlie would bond over bursting into song and yearning
dyou think Alastor would be incredibly charming with Verosika also and she'd be a lil flustered by it? I want that too. like he kisses her knuckles and says he admires her work and it's a lil, oh boy oh boy (and then she asks Angel and Cherri what Al's deal is, like is he gay or what because she's been flirting with him all evening and nothing, and they're like *shrug* whatever his deal is, it ain't sex that's for sure and she sighs and says all the good guys are too busy committing atrocities, and Angel and Cherri squint, because her taste in men... clearly missing some Red Flags for her to respond to)
Octavia would be fascinated by Niffty also -- Niffty generally has the energy of that gina linetti meme in b99 where all the psychologists are hunkered around her desperate to study her:
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whomst am I missing. Kinda skipping the sins+Lucifer, also the villains (minus Striker), and most of the tertiary characters. I think that's it then? *wipes brow*
feel free to add more thoughts/dynamics!
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dbphantom · 4 months
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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kittlyns · 8 months
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I am on 4 hours of sleep (my fault) and I have a new client in my chair who has admitted to at least half a dozen felonies in the 1 hour and 47 minutes she's been here
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inbabylontheywept · 1 month
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bad dating stories time: the shoe incident
so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.
at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.
he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?
and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.
but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.
i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?
(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)
and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.
i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.
that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.
i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.
anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.
i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.
we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.
he was okay at it.
eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.
soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.
realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:
"i can't get pregnant"
which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.
still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"
and then i was in my car, and i drove away.
if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.
and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.
WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.
we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.
do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.
and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.
then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.
and then they started making out.
i was close enough to hear it.
i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.
so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.
now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.
so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.
about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.
my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.
my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.
they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?
and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.
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