I Love You. Im Sorry.
SUMMARY : Angst , no happy ending , heartbreak , mention of y/n
christophersturniolo posted on instagram
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hello private account π
TAGGED : ameliaroselordi
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USER : what happend to y/n?
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Y/NBURNIOLO : chris?, what is this?
βͺοΈ CHRISTOPHERSTURNIOLO : y/n. I Can explain
NICOLASSTURNIOLO : chris? what the fuck. call me
MATTSTURNIOLO : really? cheating on y/n with a bougie bitch
βͺοΈ Y/NBURNIOLO : Ily matt
USER : this was NOT your private account.
βͺοΈ USER : no shit sherlock
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After seening chris new post on instagram i didnt know how to react. Do i be mad, Sad? Im honestly both right now. He made me look so stupid, Atleast i know the reason hes been ghosting me. For some rip off blonde bitch thats been wanting to be me?. I always choose the wrong guys. I feel like a fucking fool.
INCOMING CALL β Chris π β
I pick it up β What Do You Want Chris? β i spoke softly into the microphone waiting for him to start talking. β Y/n You Have To Let Me Explain! β he says quickly β No Chris You Left Me For Some Bougie Bitch. β I say hanging up starting to tear up all over again. I hear my door open β Chris?! What The Fuck Get Out! β i say shouting at him with tears coming down my face
TWO AUGUSTS AGO .
β Please Y/n, Im Sorry. Let Me Explain β He spoke softly β Why Chris?, What Is There To Even Explain. β I say sitting back on my bed avoiding any type of eye contact with chris. β Y/n It Was A Honest Mistake. I Promise. β
THATS THE WAY LIFE GOES .
β Chris.. We Have To Stop Seeing EachOther. We Either Have To Break Up Or Take A Break. β I spoke firmly holding back the tears that im fighting β Y/n We Cant Break Up. β He Says Sounding Hurt But Im Not Gonna Fall For His Tricks Anymore.
I LOVE YOU, IM SORRY.
β Please Y/n. I Love You, Im Sorry. β He Spoke confidently sitting down next to me trying to hold my hand. β But You Still Cheated On Me Right? And You Choose The Girl i HATED The Most. β I say pushing his hands away from mine
YOU WERE THE BEST BUT YOU WERE THE WORST
β Y/n Just One More Chanc- β I cut him off β No Chris. Leave My House, And Dont Call Or Text me. β I say making my final decision And pointing at the front door giving him a sign for him to actually leave. β Fine. Bye Y/n I Love You β
THATS JUST THE WAY LIFE GOES
His i love you sounded so real but maybe im in denial. I hate men, They never know what they want. I feel Like a loser for whatever just happened just now. Its not like chris but maybe its my mind thinking that.
Y/N HAS CHANGED HER INSTA USER β0hnoy/nβ
0hnoy/n has posted on instagram
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The β I love youβs β that are repeated in my head like a music note.
TAGGED : oliviarodrigo
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USER : Bye y/ns Really pretty π
β€οΈ by 0hnoy/n
OLIVIARODRIGO : Our pumpkins weβre so good π!!
βͺοΈ 0HNOY/N : I agree MY FAV ONE GOT MESSED UP.
CHRISTOPHERSTURNIOLO : i meant it
βͺοΈ USER : what does this mean ?
βͺοΈ 0HNOY/N : Idk him
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CHRIS π
y/n please talk to me
Y/N πβ€οΈ
What?
CHRIS π
Can we try over?
Y/N πβ€οΈ
Not a chance chris. Stop texting me or im blocking you.
CHRIS π
But!
*a contact has been blocked*
A few months later I made a song called β I love you im sorry β Publishing it. It blew up and i gained more support and followers supporting my music i even gained some fanpages and edits. Until i seen a dm from someone i never wanted to see again.
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A/N : sorry guys deal w that ending cus idk how to end this story AND I LIKE NEVER WRITED BEFORE SO THIS IS KINDA MY FIRST STORY PLS GUVE TIPS OR SMTH THANK U.
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Hi Uncle Neen! HYH! It sucks to see you struggling cuz you are a big inspiration of mine :( but you said you did your makeup the other day. Can we seeeeeeeeee maybe?
d'awwww ksahdlkdss, you are so sweet, nonnie! thank you so so soooo much, baby! xx i really needed this. i hope i heal ( i will...i have to, i am too much of an asshole to let god win, fuck him ) and i hope you heal from whatever harms you as well! you can do it! mWAH!~
-- also brb crying ;-; <3333 whenever y'all tell me i inspire you, it seriously makes me want to cry; you mean SO much to me, so to mean so much to you; it's Everything to me, my love. thank you for believing in me, know i believe infinitely in YOU and will keep fighting the good fight, living authentically and modelling pos behavior on this blog bc i take being a role model very seriously. :')
BUT ANYWAYS! sakhdlasd oh my god aaAaaAAAaa please!!! YOU ARE SO CUTE, THIS IS SO CUTE OF YOU, hELP AAAAA!!!!!! but yes, of course, of course. considering i am super bacteria nina right now and had to resign from my ( admittedly ) trash job and am no longer, at this moment, an education girlie ( besides on here, ofc, educating you on my two gay sons in love ), i can freely exist and post pictures of myself again! thank you for for giving me a safe place to do that. <3
i'll elaborate on what 'safe' means to me down below, but just for context i took this...sigh...last week, when i was told i would 'all better', just trying to feel like myself again after a month of being unmadeup and unfitted and ugly and troll-like and on death fucking row and fucking miserable as hell, i had my new hair appointment lined up, was about ready to take life by the balls again...and that shit BLUE BALLED ME SO HARD AND SAID *ravenstan vc* JK, BABY!
okay, sorry i have some really bad scarring and wounding up there by my neck so i had to cover her up but...there she is! the she beast!
as for posting pictures of myself just...please...PLEASE BE KIND. and i wish i meant that as a joke, i mean it very, VERY seriously. i am at a point right now, where i look my very fucking worst, i am weaker than i have ever been in my life, there are abrasions all over my body, which per the results of my culture ( i was right...several fucking times and no one would listen to me ) my body is trying to kill me and right now...it is Winning. ( i'm not gonna lose tho, dw, i am a nasty bitch from hell and i refuse to die this ugly, i fucking won't; choke )
tldr; I AM VERY VERY VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT HOW I LOOK. I DO NOT FEEL PRETTY, I AM LIKE ONE BAD COMMENT AWAY FROM TEARING THE SKIN OFF MY FACE AND I AM TELLING YOU GUYS I CANNOT DO THAT, I CANT CREATE ANY TEARING ON MY BODY OR THE BACTERIA WILL TUNNEL AND ITS HARD ENOUGH AS A BITCH WITH DERMATILOMANIA.
PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.
i know we shoot the shit on here and are funny and clown eachother, you guys are my family; it's what families do, but my boundary is that you can say i am pretty and be objectively kind or Please do not send me anything At ALL about how i look; i CANNOT take it rn. i know were just joking, but please, please, PLEASE Do NOT compare me to any ugly creatures, make me feel weird about any part of my face, tell me i look blurry, say anything is too big or too smallβ¦
please donβt meme on me abt my appearance...Ever.
itβs a very sensitive spot for me and makes me v anxious.
all this to say, i love you; thank you for being my home.
HYH.
-uncle nina, single ravesey mother and human petri dish
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yeah i'm also. kind of done with n corp at this point. canto 3 was very good but it almost feels antithetical to it, at least imo, to have the n sinclair identity. and you're so right about not getting an identity for rodya, she should have been the tingtang gangleader if we're not going to get any more canto 2 ids!
Yeah, I think N-Corp works well as antagonists but they also work in small doses. I don't need any more of them than we got in Canto III if I'm being honest.
And, as someone who's not a big fan of "Bad Ending AUs" or whatever the N-Corp Sinclair just feels like. why does he exist? Sinclair's conflict was about his bodily autonomy, with both extreme ends of the spectrum being him losing it. (getting surgery he doesn't want because it's what's expected of him. or becoming a violent religious extremist who will inevitably end up brainwashed because N-Corp uses their singularity to make their employees eat false memories to keep them compliant.) We don't need to see what one of the worst endings for Sinclair would be, especially because the whole deal with the themes of his book are moving beyond the black and white "good and evil" way of thinking about the world.
I'm saying this as someone who enjoys tragedy stories too, I think that when writing a tragedy, you have to make it some parts inevitable. (I have thoughts on why I actually feel that Yuri's death in Canto I is really well written because of this actually. I know that's another controversial opinion so it's a post for another time.) So when we get N-Corp Sinclair it feels. Idk we've already seen the side of this story where it doesn't happen and it's way more compelling to me when Sinclair doesn't fall down the rabbit hole. It also kinda proves Kromer right that in some world, he would be just like her. It feels just like the edgiest, worst possible ending for no real reason.
And as for ids for the other cantos, I wish we got more than 2 but. no we get 5 (maybe 6 depending on what the 00 for this banner is) N-Corp ones.
I think G-Corp Gregor goes hand in hand with the themes of his book. Alienation from society, and feeling like society is disgusted by him as a whole, represented by becoming less human.
And alas I don't think we'll get to see a Yurodive Rodya but it would be interesting to see how that would explore her desires to be a hero and the hollowness of exceptionalism.
Tingtang Rodya would also be fun, just 'cause.
However N-Corp Sinclair goes against the themes of his book, about things not being split into black-and-white good and evil. Because he does just go down one path without finding enlightenment.
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