#and what if i cant find homes for all of them??

[sugardoodle]

I have 2 days to decide whether or not to spay my accidental new cat before she has her babies. She's like, t-minus 7ish days until birth so I have no idea what I should do. Like they might be viable at this point so it feels more like euthanizing an entire litter than just terminating a pregnancy. Like you can feel them moving and kicking if you touch her belly. I've been dying the past 3 days over this decision but I'm almost out of time.

Also if anyone thinks to berate me for allowing her to get pregnant, you can go kick rocks, because I brought her in from outside over a month ago since she was a stray and it was almost winter. She came like that so it's not my fault, and they couldn't get me in for a spay any sooner because of the high demand for the low cost clinic. It was originally scheduled for December 1st but I wasn't sure if she'd still be pregnant at that point, so they were able to get me on the cancelation list. But not as soon as I wanted and now I'm in a pickle.

I dont regret bringing her inside at all, but I do wish I'd been able to just fork over the couple hundred extra it would have cost to have her spayed at my actual vet rather than waiting for the clinic to have a spot. But now if I decide to back out and let her raise the kittens, itll cost that much anyways to have them all fixed and chipped and vaxxed and whatnot. So it didn't matter much in the end, ig? Unless I can live with myself if I make the decision to have the babies aborted. Which in humans like, your body your choice. But this cat can't make any choices so it's on ME to decide FOR her and she would probs be fine either way since she's an animal. But I'm having a problem with it so UGH what do I DO now.

[floofyeldog]

So, uh, that chapter was pretty interesting, huh?

[mocksyoucondescendingly]

I don't understand this marchil thing what's the appeal

I JUST wrote about this haha

and knowing that you may not get to see the rest of someone's life doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy the moments you will get with them.

overall, I like their dynamic and chemistry...

at the start, it feels as though marcille is not very knowledgeable of the world outside of academics. she isn't comfortable in most of society because she's always seen as an outsider. she does her best to put up this image, and she cares a lot about it. but it's all based on this Fear that she's not enough or too much, and nobody will ever understand her. that she will always be alone.

I think Falin helped crack that in Marcille (og farcille truther); she showed her that it's okay to just slow down and notice the moment. to breathe it in and not even worry about the passing of time.... but Marcille was young and caught in her fears still... hard to shake them. so she took it more like a challenge, like, "how can I let everything I love slow down so much that I don't have to notice that it's left me???" so desperate to capture the things she loves.

...

And Chilchuck is just like. this guy ??? and he could die so young ????? he had a life and a family and a moment to enjoy, and he's out here risking his precious short life ???? she's shocked she's concerned she's invested.

but we know Chilchuck has experienced loss. he's most likely experienced it so much that he doesn't even consider it *should* phase him. his parents are likely dead, his wife doesn't want him, his children are adults out living THEIR lives. halflings don't live that long, so what ?? it's his life and He is living it 🙄 he is an Adult and he can do what he wants !? who knows when it will end anyway !...?

and you know,, it's that. where they connect. like. you can't get too close to someone; they could die! they could leave you ???

Marcille wears her heart on her sleeve, yells,and fights and kicks for them. she can't say it but you Can See It. she can't leave a friend behind she can't stop herself from wanting the best for others.

Chilchuck cages himself in iron. he runs, and he hides. he can't stand to be responsible for others wellbeing, it only hurts. he can't let them know he cares because then he would have to acknowledge it himself.

but we SEE the group becoming more comfortable with the idea that they Do care about one another. and we see all of them get closer and worry for the others. opening up and saying as much.,

chilchuck sees the way marcille cares Whole-Heartedly, and he can't look away. he can't believe someone would be so foolish and has lived that long. has she not been hurt enough? how could she lay her heart out so willingly? it makes him curious, and it makes him concerned. it gets him too close in a way he doesnt usually let himself get. scary...

marcille sees chil closing himself out from others and can't help but want to know what's on his mind. can't believe someone could have NO time at ALL with their loved ones ?? and not want the most of it...? he loved! how could he not want to keep that??? he's running from something she would love to have. but she doesn't know the complexities of it all,

they have to learn how to change, how to grow as people. they gain a wider understanding of the world through each other (and the rest of the entire group and through the events of the manga OBVIOUSLY) ! !! ! and through their differences they find the same root fear and that same root love.

is this coherent I do not know. love and light ✨️🥰✌️

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[rosykims]

im a eurydice = solas truther btw and ill die for my beliefs

be so serious........ and lavellan as orpheus......

[s4pphoiduser]

in a world with an aftg show (because it Has to be a show, not a movie) seth would have a Pretty Guy actor playing him who looked even prettier when he was sneering or scowling and people would make edits of him with the velocity + slo-mo effects and be like "i can fix him"

[maj0rmayhem]

Really feeling that post abt how yearning and loneliness is great until you're curled up on your bed whimpering at the ache in your chest like a wounded dog. are we cooked chat.

[softshuji]

eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh

[kavennnn]

coil ch

edit: tumblr stole half of my tags so i put a bad version of the second half of what i was trying to say in my notes :( sorry

[the-knife-consumer]

Forgot just how upsetting gloomed korok forest is

[violentdevotion]

wait do you have a fav boys character yet ?

i really like butcher but i feel like that's a basic answer and also the wrong answer. in another world id like frenchie but i can't get over how much i hate the actor. I love maeve theres never a moment she's on screen where im thinking get this woman outta here she's always entertaining to me. i like starlight but (and this is probably a bit nasty to say) there's smth a little uncanny valley about her sometimes where when she's talking im not listening but staring at her face trying to see what features throwing me off. I hate ashley but the actress played an insufferable character in jessica jones too and I really appreciate her ability to play The Most annoying woman you know.

centrist answer i like them all (except stormfront. hated her before i even knew she was a nazi. she was on insta live and i was waiting for her to explode and die) but my fave would have to be butcher bc i find im rooting for him the most and constantly justifying his actions. but sometimes karl urbans accent pisses me off. also black noir but he doesn't Do anything so it's hard to have him as a fave bc he's barely there.

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[lottieurl]

why don’t you carry me home

care by robot koch

[quietwingsinthesky]

at some point i am going to have to force even to go back and deal with donna & tentoo & rose & all and everything they ran away from. and that will probably involve them losing tentoo’s chameleon arch watch by giving it back to its rightful owner, whether she chooses to open it or not. and that is. not going to be a very fun or stable time for them.

[nedsseveredhead]

Made a new oc for a new little personal project that I will never fully explain or touch but everyone meet the little alien bunny princess shes from the moon and is a little lost

[toytulini]

wheres that post about how its hard to have like a fucking depression spiral or whatever while knitting bc lemme tell u im sitting here fighting back tears while actively crocheting and its not fucking working