#and when I finally got the nerve to
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Finding out thereās only around 650 wind turbines left in the San Gorgonio Pass genuinely feels like the most heartbreaking news Iāve gotten in my life. One of those things that probably wonāt mean anything to anyone who didnāt have a very specific relationship with them like mine.
#found this out because I went to find images of them#after around 15 years or so of not seeing or looking into them#I really wanted to reference them in my world building#and finally got the nerve to look them up#itās one of those things that in the time I havenāt seen them i relied on other people saying theyāre still there#for comfort because so many of the important physical places I had growing up disappeared for a number of reasons#for all the times Iāve found out that the most seemingly immovable places in my life had vanished#I got scared to look#and when I finally got the nerve to#itās a particular type of feeling#it really does cement the reality of the themes for Project: Lost and Found#the heaviest theme of course being impermanence#but this is truly going to take a second to process#Iāve found myself missing the desert a lot lately#gonna try to draw now though#<vindicator mutters>
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had this thought ages ago and then then just remembered it again. happy finale everyone!
#this is a formal apology to lev ozdil. but also what other image am i going to use when it's what finally got this meme made#croaked morgan... finale daph... partners karadec... melon in general... sauna under the stairs soto... FINALE (hedgehog) OZ#i would have used morgan at the bar in 1x03 but there were no stills of her </3#also please note that daph is beautiful literally all the time just OUGHGHGGHHHHHHH women...#selena also has whatever nerves she's got under control but oh my god does this woman deserve to sit down w/ a strong drink once in a while#soto ily. u deserve whatever u want forever#all of them do <3 MWAH#high potential#morgan gillory#adam karadec#daphne forrester#lev ozdil#lev āozā ozdil#selena soto#walter melon#lieutenant melon#every time i remember his name is walter melon i sigh but also whoever came up with that deserves a raise bc it also makes me giggle#mine
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#Yeah#Slay the Princess#StP#StP spoilers#Technically#StP Nightmare#StP Paranoid#StP meme#The organ images sat unused on my personal Discord server for MONTHS before I finally got around to making this abomination#Shoutout to whoever made the original The Nerve image#I dunno who did but I appreciate you#Alex.png#Heart lungs liver nerves#Me when I'm playing StP: Now you know what it's like to live in my brain
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I beat raincode and I am SAD
#shut up me#mdarc spoilers#Im glad all the other master detectives survived... i knew from that pink blood they were probably ok#but yuma and shinigami split up :( I wasnt expecting to feel so sad about that#Shinigami really got on my nerves when I first started but I grew to really like her#Im glad Makoto got to survive though- hes definitely one of my favs#vivia too#Sniffle#I cant believe i finally beat this game
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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Uemnea | She/Her | Guardian | Wandering Harpy
A harpy who seems to have separated herself from the matriarchal society she grew up in, to explore the whole of Tyria and earn the favor of Dwayna.
As far as she could tell, Uemnea was sure she would have remained with her flock for the rest of her life had she not decided to venture out on her own. The stories passed down from the older harpies, of their race's once importance to the human goddess Dwayna, filled her with a drive to attain that lost favor. Goal in mind, she left her flock and began her journey through Tyria.
It really could be said she's misguided in her attempts. She doesn't really know how to go about it -as she is accustomed to harpy society- it takes her a bit to unlearn many of the more harmful things she was taught as a chick. She opens up as she travels, learning from the people she comes across and performing deeds she believes will get her noticed by Dwayna. She doesn't think too much about if she's doing this because she's told she should, or if she actually believes its the right thing to do.
She commits to many pursuits she believes Dwayna would want her to do. She joins the Vigil, and then the Pact, and puts her all into helping the Commander take down the Elder dragons, Zhaitan, and Mordremoth. And then she reaches Elona.
The prospect of killing one of the Six, even a rouge member, is disquieting to Uemnea. And when she learns from Balthazar that the other Gods are leaving Tyria, and this plane behind for some place new, she's devastated. She spirals as she realizes the one god she was trying to get the attention of, and earn the love of the whole time, is just leaving. Without so much as a word.
The events of PoF are a huge blow to her. She stews in self pity and resentment as she sees the future of her goal come crumbling down around her. Her reason for doing what she was goes up in flames and she now has to re-assess what it truly is that she wants from everything she is doing. She finds comfort from the friends she made in the Pact, and as Kralkatorik rears his head, she steels herself with a new resolve for her future adventures with them.
#gw2#guild wars 2#Uemnea#gw2 screenshots#i've been meaning to post the stuff i had for her here for a while to and finally got the time + worked up the nerve fjkhfkj#I love her your honor#when i was coming up with her personality I was heavily thinking of Lae'zel and Shadowheart from BG3 lmao#gw2 sylvari#gw2 guardian#most of these screenshots have her without her helmet on but usually she is wearing one lol
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"is this a plant or a weed" im going to pull all the hair out of your head
#finally working up the nerve to make some progress on fixing up my garden#after it got completely destroyed by the ppl who replaced our roof#and im just sitting here SEETHING at all the damage#and i cant stop thinking abt how when i brought the inspsction guy around the yard and gave him a detailed explenation of all the damage#he was like 'well you have to understand we dont know a lot about gardening. a lot of this stuff even i wouldnt be able to tell if it was a#a plant or not'#and I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS IMPLYING#he didnt think my plants where rocks#he thoight they where 'WEEDS'#and instead of thinking 'lets try not to destroy any plantlife#those assholes thought 'lets try not to destroy anything that Looks Like A REAL Plant'#but all those WEEDS???? yeah lets STOMP ALL OVER THEM#ARGHGRHGHRHRH BITING GNAWING#I HATE MAINSTREAM GARDEN CULTURE YOURE ALL IDIOTS#ITS ALL PLANTS ITS ALL PLANTS#STOP MAKING PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ABT WHAT DESERVES TO LIVE BASED ON APPERANCE OH MY GOD#text#lawn posting#<- because i blame stupid ass colonizer rich person lawn culture bs for this attitude#and they still stomped on my hostas and irsises and hakone grass anyway
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Chojiās Team:
Cinderace (Partner Pokemon)
Monferno
Torracat
Castform (Sunny Day Form)
Litleo
Charcadet
Yes, Choji has three starter pokemon evolutions on his team. I couldnāt help myself and neither could he, apparently. Chojiās definitely been abroad a fair few times, both before and after becoming his townās gym leader, and itās like heās got a sixth sense for finding the pokemon in each region that are going to give him the biggest challenge. The rarest and most difficult to catch have all been starter pokemon so far (and Castform, which he may or may not have stolen/liberated from a weather research facility in Hoenn). Cinderace is his ace (ha) pokemon, and itās⦠totally because heās got the kanji for rabbit in his name (correct me if Iām wrong but thatās why everyone uses the rabbit emoji for him, right?). Also fire types just felt fitting for Choji. Bright and burning like the sun, just like him! Hence why Castform is perpetually in its Sunny Day form. Monferno matches his acrobatics in a fight and Torracat is for Shishitoren!
As for Litleo⦠gonna be totally honest here, I briefly forgot Torracat existed and thought this was the closest I was going to get to a tiger. And then I did find Torracat, and I thought about dropping Litleo from the line-up. The eyes, though. Litleoās damn eyes reminded me too much of Choji, so I kept it. Also itās cute and I can very vividly imagine Choji play-wrestling with it. And probably playing soccer/football with Cinderace. Choji would dominate in a lot of sports but Iām partial to soccer, so. Might as well tack that headcanon on.
(Also, hey. If my very tired brain is misfiring at the moment and shishitorenās animal is a lion, not a tiger? I did Litleo on purpose)
Last but not least, Charcadet. I said this in another post but I literally have no idea what goes on in Scarlet and Violet. I donāt know if this is a rare pokemon, or one Choji could feasibly have without completing some plot-relevant quest. But weāre throwing logic out the window for this one because I took one look at Charcadet and said, yeah, thatās Chojiās. No need to look for a backup sixth pokemon, thatās him all over. Tiny fire child warrior!! No regrets.
#kingās court#wind breaker#pokemon: verdant winds#tomiyama choji#you get it from togameās post but Choji is like. almost never at the gym#heās off doing literally anything else that catches his fancy#heās not really being neglectful. theyāre the eighth and final gym so theyāre not getting the sort of traffic the early gyms are#and he does make sure togameās around before he takes off#but he hates being cooped up all day when more often than not they donāt even get trainers coming through the challenge him#choji is def one of those gym leaders in the games that you have to find and convince to return to the gym#heās out there playing with the local kids or climbing trees or just vibing with his pokemon#and some poor trainer has to approach him like. sir. please. I just need one more badge#kame-chan is there though! he says#trainer surmises this is togame heās talking about#togame-san said you have to battle at least one person a week. the poor trainer reminds him. trying not to sound pushy#trainer has to help Choji wrap up whatever heās doing and then theyāre good but thereās a nerve wracking few seconds where trainer thinks#Chojiās gonna throw some sort of fit#except heās not because if kame-chan says so then itās fine~#anyway this got away from me#also heās BELOVED by the region#because heās so well traveled and because heās eager to take on whatever challenges they have for him#itās like togame says. heās like the sun āļø#people flock to him
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going to see my grandma today. immovable object vs unstoppable force and such
#if youāre new here i love my grandma very very much and we are close#since weāre close tho we get on each otherās nerves a lot and who/whatever youāre imagining Nikkiās Grandma is like youāre wrong#she once managed a political campaign and got the guy elected just to prove she could do it and then remembered sheās not a republican#and got the guy voted out next election cycle#least insane Nikkiās Grandma story tbh#one time when my mom and aunt were little they all went camping and there were bears. their dogs chased the bear up a tree#meanwhile my grandma has locked herself and only herself in the car and wouldnāt let my Papa and mom and aunt inside LMAO#whenever I think about that one Iām like Girl What The Fuck!#anyway she managed to get herself on GLP-1 injections last year and finally got the ED sheās always wanted. I feel veyr normal about it
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Crown of Candy⦠it got to me
#ametharrrrrr⦠Iām constantly thinking about how cruel it is to have the nickname the unfallen when the people you love keep dying#also Liamās arc is. insane. Iām always a sucker for a person who hates war finding out theyāre very very good at it#Liam getting THREE main enemy deaths in the finale when everyone else got one max. and some of that was on the strength of beardsleys rolls#but still. also. Iām sorry women. sacharrina was really getting on my nerves. like I know sheās had a hard life. but come on. this is family#thatās mourning the daughtersister they just lost. give them some time#also also. for some reason Iām really touched by cumulousā little epilogue. just a little bit of kindness after a season of war
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guys can i be real
#i dont give two fucks about undertale yellow i keep having to block new tags to stop seeing it lol... i dont have anything against it at all#i just keep running into it when om specifically looking for undertale stuff and it finally got on my nerves šš#if you like it good for you genuinely#i love fangames adore them even#and its really cool that there seems to be a really well made fangame getting so much positive attention!!!!#its so fucking cool#i just dont want to see it when im looking for Specifically Undertale#good luck out there uty enjoyers have fun#also esp since uty was in development for so long like its Genuinely So Cool but unfortunately i dont care#i am curating my experience and having fun everyone else should try it out
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I was so captivated by everything else in the "My First Five Years Baby Moshi Record" in his biography that I completely skipped over the first line being "My first lock of mustache hair." Before age of five??? You were four when that picture on the mountain got taken. What happens between ages four and five that you grew a mustache. And being born evil is not a reason im not accepting that one i dont care if your first outfit was a cloak and razorsharp shoes or that you were allegedly born with vicious teeth.
But also it does make me giggle that he's just quite literally always been like this. I mean yes he had tragic turning point that really spun him for the worst but like his parents were already slightly scared of him before any of that even happened. He was born with the evil laughter and mustache and. Whatever else is wrong with him and his capabilities.
#i forget that if i dont have the nerve to audibly hear him or watch him be dumb via movie that i have this to reread.#Okay I'll be honest it's for the best that the picture of him at age 4 on the mountain he doesnt have stupid mustache.#i dont know why this got to me enough to make a moderately lengthy post about it.#I guess I didnt anticipate having a legitimate answer to when he got the mustache. Which was very quickly.#his first pair of shoes arre sooooooooooooo#See I dont even care much for kids or babies. I dont get that excitement or giddiness or whatever that everyone else feels.#Theyre just. another person to me and thats it. I dont get anything else.#and even imagines about like looking at pictures of your F/Os when they were younger or such never really got to me either.#But for whatever unknown reason. this was the exception#theres always an exception. thats something i like to say.#Theres even exceptions to the statement that tehres always exceptions. it's a loophole in itslef.#something something i like that i finally got an answer to what a chracters favorite color is and he likes the color gold#something something post ends here.
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Guess who got into his first cosplay competition >:3
#Iām very grateful I didnāt think I was going to get a spot in either of LUEās comps#entering as Kite from HxH#Iām very excited; Iāve wanted to break into the cosplay competition scene since I was 16 ish but my nerves aaaaalways got the better of me#finally took the leap and started applying#both spamton neo and kite are my current works in progress but since I got chosen to compete in the LUE hall competition as Kite#I will be prioritizing Kite#and resuming spamton neo when Kite is done#Walt talks
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š š¦ š
#oc#original character#pmmm#pmmm oc#mahou shojo madoka magica#madoka magica oc#art#artists on tumblr#animecore#1 day 1 anime girl#illustration#i started this drawing long ago and eventually got tired in the middle#so when i finally remembered it exists i could se soo many mistakes that i didnāt have the nerve to fix#and decided to proceed with whatever was ready and just finish colouring#initially it was a pmmm oc based on some tiktok sound but i couldnāt focus on the drawing for some time#then i forgot about creating her at all
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Can my brain stop fucking forgetting where I put things???
It's been like a month since I last saw my meds that I REALLY NEED but I don't want to waste a refill and be short a month. I finally was able to refill it for Dec/Jan and god I cannot wait to not be in agony anymore. Like I have been praying, crying, thrashing (that's more a physical symptom of nerve pain), wanting to scream, losing sleep, FOR WEEKS.
I cannot fucking remember what I did with it. It's just a blank. I have a visual memory and can remember specific shit accurately (as accurately as memories as a whole are) BUT NOT THIS
I now have lost my ipod touch... my beloved š„ŗ that's where my stories are (that I wrote), that's where my music is, where my games are (okay like 3 games now that ios is updating and god forbid we get another ipt). That's where my pictures of Bean are, and I need them to post reruns on his account to keep it active sgdgdggdgd That's another story
Anyway I lost it when I changed my sheets and it's not downstairs in the laundry (shook out the blankets). It's not behind the bed, not around it, not in my usual spot. BUT most importantly... I cannot fucking even conjure up a vague memory of when I last saw it. š at all. Like my meds it's in my room SOMEWHERE
And ofc bc I have been off my nerve medicine for a full month, I am so fucking drained that I don't have energy to fucking deep clean and look for these things better/more
I'm so fucking sick of this shit
#marquilla#im so tired#especially today bc i woke up at 12 with the worst back pain like very sharp achy pain and ofc then my nerves acted up so im like writhing#on the bed trying to think of what i can take to make this pain stop. i took advil/tylenol. a pepcid. and 2 rls homeopathic pills.#i was literally crying it was so painful and Finally it subsided enough for me to sleep... at 2am... i fell asleep and had a full dream in#that blissful hour i slept š#i really considered calling off work today man. but im only working like 12hrs so i figured it would be better overall if i went and work#went well - i recovered everything but the licensed shit area bc it wasnt super bad and i didnt care enough sgdgdggd so i had 10 min before#my break left so i did the HEAVY coats for RC and she looked so relieved when i said that (one less thing for her to do) so š¤#oh and i figured out that that pain was most likely from all the cherrios ive been eating that have been causing me gi issues#but i dont have anything else i wanna eat at 3am before work so.... i just kept eating them regardless sgdggddgdgdgd it was hell#anyway i ate them and i got that horrible pain in my stomach and back and went '...ah' sgdgdggd like hmm probably that#could also be wheat! could be both together! bc fuck me thats why
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like out of all the many, many traumas ive given elspeth my favorite has gotta be the deep roads lol. and specifically the way she never really got OUT of them. yeah so maybe her body did but not HER. shes still down there with ruck and helspith every time she closes her eyes. and during future expeditions when she goes down into the deep roads for real, it doesnt feel like some horrible nightmare it feels like REALITY and its the surface and love and warmth and alistair thats nothing more than a pleasant dream. one shes always going to wake up from. bc even in her happiest moments she's never not aware of the darkspawn digging up towards her just a few miles under her feet. and never not feeling the eyes of the deep roads looking at her, gleefully waiting for her, and knowing its not going anywhere
#i love shale but for elspeth's worldstate i dont recruit her bc im so obsessed w the dynamic of it being elspeth/alistair/oghren/the dog lol#oc: elspeth#tay plays dao#she got SEVERE shell shock being down there in the dead trenches after the realization that came from helspith's poem#why shes never seen any female darkspawn and why there apparently arent as many female wardens either#and like. Understanding that death is the absolute best case scenario for her.#alistair had to 100000% step up as the leader because she was completely out of commission. barely able to breathe let alone fight or lead#going from this unstoppable warrior who NEVER loses her nerve or control on a battlefield#to nearly dying to the broodmother bc she was so fucking terrified. bc all she could see was her own fate mirrored back at her#finally FINALLY understanding what it means to be a grey warden. and then trying to reject that reality with her entire body and soul#she pulls herself out of it enough to get out alive but she never had a moment of like... triumph over the deep roads where she had a burst#of courage and saved the day or whatever. thats not usually how trauma works and so alistair carried them thru that#thru the broodmother and the anvil and branka and back to orzammar just as elspeth was beginning to put herself back together#afterwards the lack of closure to what was one of her ''weakest'' lowest moments rly weighed her down with guilt and shame#and its only a year later during awakening when she finally reconciles with having NO choice but to go back into the deep roads#and being able to kill the mother. THAT helped. that restored some small part of her#gave her the strength to start going back down there when the need arose. resigned to an early death but ready to put up a fight#but ye. still such a fundamentally devastating thing she went thru which altered her entire personality to the point where she starts fully#embracing being a warden (bc how can someone who's seen what shes seen and done what shes done be anything else???)#and INSISTING alistair take the throne despite having always been supportive of his desire not to. even if it means she loses him.#bc its a last ditch effort to save him from the fate she's completely surrendered herself to#sigh. this game man.#i need dadw to Confirm that the grey wardens have found a cure and alistair and hof are safe because jesus christ. my girl NEEDS a win
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