#and why does the gif's quality suck so much ass

[cheesy-bready]

[𝘕𝘶́𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘕𝘶𝘦𝘷𝘦]

I still can't get over this movie

[asherlockstudy]

HEY FRIENDS

Literally one year ago I made a vague post and a few people asked me what I meant, but I felt a little drained at the time and never explained but as GME3 is fast approaching, I am re-emerging with the questionable decision to write my thoughts on GME2. 

Bear in mind that some of the points might be negative as I have explained my conflicted feelings about this show before however don't let that discourage you from reading it because there's more to it than the negative points, trust me. Also, the post is GIF heavy so I put the rest of it under the cut.

GME2 thoughts: 

Rhett and Link can’t tell the difference between an evening show and a soft Only Fans account. I didn’t mind anything in the show (except for that sex doll with the fucked up eyes that creep me out),  I just...don’t understand completely: who came up with this project, how genuinely RandL like it and how it relates to their occasional irritation against shippers. 

In other words, for people who proclaim they don’t understand why people ship them, acting out explicit fanfics is a bold decision to say the least.

Like, the whole concept of the show is for them to drink so their boundaries go down and then when somebody goes a bit off the rails, everyone is like “oh no” and facepalming. What’s up with that? Either embrace the concept of your show or don’t do it at all. I mean, nothing was truly much except for the fanfic enactment which was a bit much, if you ask me, perhaps mostly because I can’t tell how comfortable they are with it. Sometimes, especially Rhett just doesn’t look totally okay with it. So why do it? For the extra fee? Really? Wow. As an example, neither Rhett nor Link felt okay with sucking Chase’s toes and, guess what, Chase didn’t want it either. Who’s the mastermind behind all that... And has Chase gotten his raise yet?

Let’s go to Rhett. I might be wrong but I have noticed that for his size, Rhett is kinda a lightweight. One beer and his eyes are glassy, his cheeks round and red. In the last GME, he had refrained from drinking because he wanted to handle the situation in case Link lost it. This time, 7 shots and a few more drinks during the show weren’t enough to make him drunk, or as drunk as Link, or make him lose himself into the moment and have fun. Conclusion: Rhett is not very comfortable with this project. Rhett is afraid of Link being unhinged. Why is he afraid of an unhinged Link? What can Link say or do that Stevie wouldn’t be able to handle and he would have to step in? It’s plain throughout the show that Rhett is constantly concerned about what Link might say next. What on earth can a Southern ex-hardcore Evangelist married at 20 say that is giving Rhett nightmares?

 Rhett confirming that Link does the fibonacci when he shaves his face lol Do they often talk about fibonacci shaving? Does he remember it from 20 years ago? How often does Link shave in the creative house? Questions, questions, questions...

Rhett fully knowing that Link had a story about hurting his dick. Link clarifying he meant one when he was alone. Rhett warning him “I am just looking out for you”. Thus, Rhett knowing Link hurt his dick when he was with somebody else and considered it a story that Link would regret revealing. So, is Rhett having nightmares because Link hurt his dick when he was with Christy and if so, why? No??? Notice Rhett getting lowkey tortured until Link finally wraps up his silly harmless story. He lost five years of life there. 

Link saying he wishes his Christy buttcheek tattoo faded away... because “this would symbolise the long time they have been together”. Okay... all right.

 Rhett confirmed as an ass man besides a vagina man. Like, just as he was saying he was always so fascinated by vaginas he almost gave them supernatural qualities, he now pretty much said the asshole is divine design! Link bumped Rhett’s shoulder at the mention of anal preference, pointing at him, once more giving Rhett a scare. (BTW the truth is Rhett is an #anything_goes man let’s be real XD)

Link non-verbally proclaimed them both “team ass” but not with Rhett’s consent. 

Link said at two points in the aftershow that Rhett made him uncomfortable but I can’t for the life of me understand what he was talking about and it seems Rhett did neither. There was probably something that flew over my head entirely...

That’s just funny but Link in the end saying “After fucking all these years, we’re still surprising your ass”. This is not even a Freudian slip, this is a Freudian syntax! Next level shit XD Meanwhile Rhett: 

#When ten drinks are not enough to save you from Link's syntax

And now let’s go to the sequence I was referring to in the previous (one year old) vague post:

The Bean daddy fic enactment was initially a thing of cuteness, indeed, but I have the suspicion there was more going on. Let’s see it step by step.

The cute thing started because Link somehow played the role of tentative Link shyly revealing his deeper feelings with exceptional skill. It was also cute when Rhett, while still impersonating fic!Rhett basically implored Link to not drop chocolate syrup on his clothes, hair and beard. He was having fun with it and he was being flirtatious and affectionate towards Link, though, again he was still supposedly imitating his fic version.

Link received passively Rhett’s flirty show, with moderate amusement. However, it is very important to note that he was nodding affirmatively throughout Rhett’s flirty request. He had a face saying “okay, I understand, I am not gonna drop the chocolate all over you”. That's important to keep in mind.

Notice how Rhett asks Link to take care how he'll pour the syrup in character while Link is amused but also nods affirmatively that he does not intent to screw Rhett's outfit.

As soon as Rhett trusts Link won’t screw him like that, he drops his head back and opens his mouth waiting for the chocolate syrup. Then Link tells him seriously to hold on, he immediately changes to a sexy imitation of Rhett’s open mouth, saying something like “I just want to acknowledge…” Rhett raises his head, “Yess???”, still in the flirty silly mood, probably believing Link is improvising within the fic’s context. But Link says: “Don’t assume the position just yet, because I would like to respond to that”. At this point, clearly Link doesn't follow the script. Rhett waits but he is still in the flirty amused mode. Link does this characteristic hand motion which means something very clear “All jokes aside, I want to talk about something serious now”. Rhett takes note of Link’s hand gesture but he still doesn’t drop his flirty persona. Link announces to Rhett: “This is a test.” Rhett is clearly too far gone enjoying the fic enactment. He nods without clearly understanding. “This is a test…”, he agrees, nodding, until finally his brain catches up. “………of whaaaaat?”, he asks half-fic like, half-suspicious.

Notice Link's serious gesture and Rhett becoming suspicious literally mid-sentence after Link says "this is a test".

Link starts to mouth something but immediately changes it and says slowly and cautiously: “Of my ability to be your true friend”. Rhett’s amusement is gone. He dismisses Link hastily, mumbling “I believe it” and assumes the position again. Link insists though, inching closer. “Because…”, he starts. Rhett immediately closes his mouth and turns to face Link alarmed. It seemed to me he felt vulnerable to wait there with an open mouth and Link so close.

Notice Rhett dismissing Link and how quickly he closes his mouth once Link gets closer.

Link continued slowly, trying to fill the lack of words with facial expressions translatable only to Rhett and not us. “Because… the most entertaining thing to do… would be…”. “No, no it actually wouldn’t be”, Rhett countered quickly and still somewhat softly but there was fear and panic in his eyes in that moment. My assumption is that he was still being soft in order to not rile up the mildly inebriated Link too much. Rhett continued: "It would be the opposite of what you're actually thinking".

Link tries to communicate with faces (including puckered lips) instead of fully formed sentences but Rhett understands. He's neither flirty nor amused anymore. He asserts what Link thought to do - the test, "the abilty of being his true friend", would have the exact opposite result from entertainement.

Link doesn't drop it just yet. He asks Rhett if he really knows what Link is thinking about. Rhett hums affirmatively. But Link says: "Cause I was thinking about being the hero by just putting it in your mouth and not getting it all over you. But now you are just telling me to get it all over you." Of course this is a lie. Rhett spent so much time making it clear he does not want syrup all over himself. Link nodded so many times, making it clear he understood and agreed. He made the gesture meaning "I am gonna talk about something different and more important". So, the test that he wanted to acknowledge that this whole skit was about was something different. But in the end he saw how negative Rhett was to the idea and quickly twisted his statements, now saying it was all about whether he would drop the chocolate on his...true friend or not, which makes no sense whatsoever as statements go and it is redundant, since it was established and agreed upon literally seconds before that he would not do it.. Rhett says something I can't catch, like "no, I know what you were thinking" or "no, you won't do what you're thinking" or something similar. Link then repeats in his twist of words that Rhett essentially urges him to drop the chocolate all over him and he has that rabid look he sometimes has near Rhett. Rhett then, again with his mouth open, says: "Okay, it's time. We've milked this moment enough". Rhett clearly tries to bring Link to his senses and avoid this moment lingering too much in people's memory.

Link is bummed at Rhett's refusal however not "wounded type" of bummed. I guess it was more like, tipsy Link threw an idea out there, Rhett reacted poorly to it and Link was done like "okay it's on you that this test won't happen" but then got on with everything without more drama.

What was that test?

Well, repeating Link's words:

I would just like to acknowledge... This is a test. Of my ability to be your true friend. The most entertaining thing to do... would be...

Does anyone know whether there was more in this fic? Perhaps something more in it that Link wanted to acknowledge but Rhett didn't want enacted?

Maybe what Link wanted to test as "potentially the most entertaining thng to do" was his initiative alone? And it would be proof of Link being Rhett's true... friend. And Rhett knew what Link had in mind but he was adamant that it would have the exact opposite effect on the audience than what Link expected.

Hmm. I leave you to your thoughts and your mental preparation for GME3.

[thewanderingace]

Okay I need to vent about something for a second and I'm putting it under a read more so you can all just ignore it. Really. Ignore this. It's about the updates to the site that Tumblr has announced via the changes page like this and specifically about gifmaking on this site.

So first is this that the changes blog shared here

I got so excited when I saw this on the changes page! Finally I can rearrange my gifs when uploaded using the fucking beta editor which I hate so much! I much prefer using the original editor. It's faaaar superior. Better photo/gif arrangement and it doesn't break up everything into separate blocks making it impossible to select a large portion of text to copy or delete. The beta post editor makes it so you have to it one block at a time and I fucking despise it. But if I don't use the beta editor to post my sets then I can't use the edit button on mobile and sometime (a lot of times) I need to do that.

But I digress. Anyways, I checked it out and yes I can now upload all my gifs at once and rearrange them but my god it is the most un-userfriendly version ever! It still sucks so much! When you select a gif to move it stretches out the set and then you can't even tell where it is you're putting the gif you are attempting to move. And it doesn't always work properly and sometimes it just fucks everything up. It's so frustrating!!

So I still despise the beta post editor and then, while super annoyed by this still, Changes posts this:

I am irrationally upset about this.

Why is tumblr continuing to make things 10x harder for gifmakers on this fucking site!? I do not want my gifs to be forcibly changed to looping mp4s. I work hard on my gifs, I work hard on the editing and arranging and coloring. So now that won't matter because they're gonna be turning into ugly ass mp4s?

And I have so many questions about this! Like, they just drop this with no explanation at all?

What do they consider to be "pages with a lot of GIFs"?? Do they mean every single fucking fandom blog on this site? Cause there are a lot and they are full of hundreds of gifset! Like my own blogs! Or do they just mean the search and specific tag tumblr pages? If it changes one of my gifsets into several looping mp4s instead of several gifs will that fuck up the arrangement of the gifs or will they remain in the order I put them in? As of right now only one video is allowed per post so how does that work with gifsets? Will this degrade the quality of the edit? Will it compress them like it did when they switched all of our .gifs into .gifvs? Or when they changed the dimensions? And if the tag search is considered "a lot of GIFS" but my post or my blog isn't will it be an mp4 on the search but a gif on my blog? Or will it change it to an mp4 on everything? How will they determine any of that? How does any of that work? Can we opt out of this force change? How do you even make a looping mp4??? If this change is a permanent no choice we're changing them all sort of thing do I need to learn how to make looping mp4s???

I just...

I hate this so much. Please for the love of god do not turn my gifs into stupid looping mp4s. Please just leave things as they are. Fix actual problems instead of changing things like this. Please.

I understand that this might make things load a little faster but what I don't think staff understands is the difference between gifmaking on tumblr vs other social media sites. On other sites, gifs are used as single image reactions. Gifsets and gifset edits do not exist on other social media sites. They only exist here. And this website keeps making it more and more impossible to make them. Only one is allowed to posted at once and they used as reaction images. And sure tumblr uses single gif reactions too but for the most part gifs are an art form. Gif makers create entire sets that are meant to be viewed together. They created big beautiful overlaid edits that could not and should not be used on places like twitter or instagram. Because those sites are not made for them!! Tumblr was!! If you turn all the gifs into mp4s it destroys the whole point of a gif. I've read do many stupid articles about how gifs are useless now because videos load faster bit they don't take into account the beautiful edit work that goes into tumblr gifmaking. What we want here on tumblr is not faster loading but gargage quality reaction images. We make high quality large edits. There is a difference.

I don't know what to do with this information and change upsets me and I am upset about this. Gifmaking is one of my favorite things to do. I love making gifs. It's creative and calming and fun but everything tumblr does lately seems like it's trying to kill this for us and that upsets me greatly.

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[woahitslucyylu]

NSFW Alphabet - Miguel Galindo.

GIF is not mine, credit to OG creator. 

Cartel Daddy is here. Enjoy it, homies! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NSFW Alphabett

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Miguel drips charm and he pours it all over you. After sex, especially a rough session, Miguel will slide you into a waiting bubble bath and hold you close as your high fades. He will rub your muscles with expert pressure and tell you Mexican fairy tales as you soak into oblivion. Miguel realizes that you sacrifice a lot to be with him, and when he has the opportunity to pamper you himself, he does. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Miguel loves his face - it is his brand. His rigid jaw line, salt and pepper beard, his blinding white teeth - he is an Adonis and he knows it. Appearance is very important to Miguel, but bed-head Miguel is one of your favorite sights. His loose waves, soft eyes, and lazy smile make you melt every time. 

He loves your hips - the feminine curve of your body keeps his hands itching to hold you. His favorite sight is your shadow, outlined by the moonlight, in front of the floor to ceiling windows that wrap your bedroom. He loves to hold them as you ride him - bruising your soft skin as he pulls you down on him. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

Miguel prefers to come in you - less mess and it feels so much better, but when Cartel Daddy is feeling freaky, he will come on your chest or in your mouth. Watching you willingly open your mouth for him to finish is one of his favorite sites. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Miguel’s phone could set the world on fire with a few text messages, but buried in his pictures are whole albums of you - snapshots from adventures together, candids, and stolen moments while you were sleeping. Miguel may spend days away from you, but the pictures keep you close. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Miguel’s entire life motto is quality over quantity and he feels the same way about his women. He’s had a few casual flings - everybody does in college, but as an adult, Miguel is selective - almost picky. He has to be. His world is illusive and everyone doesn’t get an invitation to the party. 

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Miguel is a dichotomy - both worlds blended into the most perfect Daddy, so it only makes sense that he prefers you in various ways. He lives for lazy Sunday mornings, when spooning turns into lazy love making with sloppy kisses and soft touches. He also lives for your body arched in front of him - his hand around your neck as he fucks you into the mattress - your moans barely audible over the harsh spanks and Spanish dirty talk. 

“Querida, I said don’t move,” His hand lands hard against your soft hips as he pulls your wrists together. “Take it.” He pulls your ass up - your body bending under his passionate assault. His gaze falls to the most intimate connection as he slides in and out of your warm heat - himself coated in your cream as you come undone. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Your Miguel’s safe haven and with you, he finds peace and the freedom to loosen the proverbial tie. While he isn’t performing a comedy routine by any means, he does enjoy the lightheartedness of being with you. His smiles cost you nothing but orgasms and soft, sweet kisses. 

The morning light stretches across the room - cover the bed with puddles of sunshine as you roll your body into his. “Wake up, sleepy head.” Your whisper is soft in his ear as your hand slides down his chiseled abdomen - nails raking across his skin. “Mi amor.” His voice dipped in playfulness as he rolls to face you - pulling you close. His hands cup your face with such gentleness as he smiles lazily - his soft brown eyes gazing at you. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Cartel Daddy is immaculate and below the belt is not any different. He is groomed, trimmed, and smells like money. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Miguel’s relationships, at best, graze the surface level of who he truly is. With you, he exposes himself and pours into you - all the secrets on the table, all the ugly and hard truths, because without an honest foundation, Miguel knows it cannot work. He may spend hours or days away, but he will send the sweetest text messages - paragraphs of love letters written to su reina as he manages both worlds. 

J = Jack/Jill Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Meh - in all the years you’ve been together, Miguel rarely fails to make it home, so jacking off isn’t something he thinks about or even engages in as an adult. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Daddy. 

Power. 

Money. 

Success. 

Miguel is powerful. He loves to feel that allllll the time. He has innate drive to win, to be the best, and if he has to be cunning and cutthroat while doing it, so be it. He gets off on the submission that you willingly give him. When you tip-toe into his office, dressed in your silk robe, and slide onto his lap and beg for his attention, he melts. When he’s knuckle deep inside you, with his hand wrapped around your throat and you whine for more from Daddy, that’s his favorite moment. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Money buys freedom and you learned very quickly that when Miguel wants you, he will take you. Dressing rooms, darkened hallways, in the tinted SUV - Miguel isn’t burdened by rules. He makes his own. 

You slide into the waiting SUV as Miguel gave orders to Nestor. You were panting and he hadn’t even touched you. The distance, the longing, the attraction - it was overwhelming. You felt drunk. You smiled as you watched him - he was strong, dark, and intoxicating. As the car door opened, a partition slid between the front and back seats. 

“Ready?” Miguel slid into the leather seat as Nestor started the SUV. You slid into his lap and pressed your lips against his, rolling your hips into his. His hands roamed your body, tracing your curves and tender spots. His hands pushed your dress up letting it gather at your hips as you unbuttoned his shirt - sliding your hands down his chest. He felt your wetness as you rocked back and forth on his lap. You moaned in the pleasure of his hardness pressing against your most tender place. 

“Carina, I have missed you.” Miguel’s voice was dipped in lust as he continued to whisper in your ear. “I want to fill you up. I want you to scream my name. I want to remind you that you’re mine.” His hand slid against your slit as you rocked back and forth, panting for release. “Daddy, please.” You pushed against his hand as you begged him. Miguel’s smile was deadly as he slid two fingers into your warmth - circling your most tender spot. “Who’s is this?” His hand found your neck as he pulled you close. You rocked back and forth as you worked yourself out on his hand, whimpering with each new movement. “I love watching you fuck yourself. Come for Daddy.” His lips nipped and sucked beneath your ear as you bounced your hips against his rigid hand. 

The car slowed as you collapsed against him - a sweaty mess. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Winning gets Miguel off and winning is a broad term. You coming three times before he does? Winning. He tricks the US government? Winning. He moves more heroin than El Chapo? Winning. He is naturally driven to compete and win and with each new success, he is motivated for more. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Miguel didn’t share as a child and he most certainly doesn’t share now - especially you. He wouldn’t entertain a threesome or anything that would compromise your relationship. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

When you’re a brat, when you’re sassy, when you parade around the house in boy shorts and a tight shirt, his only solution is making you gag on his dick as he fucks your face. Saliva dripping down your chest as you choke to breath with his hand threaded through your hair, pulling your head up and down as he chases his own pleasure. 

“Mami, why can’t you just listen?” He urges as he comes in your throat. 

Yet, it is better to give than receive and Cartel Daddy will eat you like his last meal. Your favorite sight is the world’s most powerful cartel boss on his knees as he licks and sucks your most intimate place. When your knees close around him OR you grind harder on his face, he feels like he’s winning and you’re the ultimate prize. 

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Whatever the mood calls for, Miguel will deliver. He prefers sensual and rough - bruises left from his rough grip, your body dotted with marks. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

While Miguel loves you and loves being inside of you, if the time isn’t right, the time isn’t right. He may enjoy a quick session in the morning or even on a car ride home, but he isn’t intentionally seeking you out during the day for a quickie. It doesn’t mean anything, except that he’s busy af. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

While Miguel would never be discovered, Nestor and his security team ensure that - the thought alone thrills you and him. Whether it be in a fancy bathroom at the country club or in the SUV or even at your own home, the risk is an aphrodisiac. Being pressed up against your floor to ceiling windows with Miguel behind you reminding you that his men are just right around the corner has you dripping down your leg as he bunches your skirt and slides right in. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Again, quality over quantity - Miguel may only go for one or two rounds, but you’ll come more than you can count. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Toys give him power and he is more than willing to punish you with a crop or his hand and torture you with a vibrator pressed against your clit as he pushes in you over and over again. Sensory deprivation is big for Miguel. He will bind your hands, cover your eyes - all in the name of pleasure as he works your body expertly. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Like a classic Daddy, Miguel will tease you until your eyes are heavy with lust and you’re begging for it. 

“What do you want, princesa?” Miguel hovers above you - his hardened tip barely touching your warm center. “Is it this?” He pushes in - the stretch taking your breath away as he stays still - your walls clenching as he watches you grind against him, bringing your hips to his. “Harder, Daddy. Please.” Your legs wrap around him as he fulfills your request. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He isn’t screaming, but he isn’t quiet. You live for his moans and breathless curses, and earning them comes with a cost that you will gladly pay for. Miguel’s dirty talk is about control and desire. 

“This pussy is mine.” His hand slides around your throat, tilting your chin as he fucks into you. “Who owns this?” The slap is harsh against your thigh. “Your’s, Daddy.” You whimper as his fingers press against your clit - your body releasing at his will. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Money is Miguel’s tool and he has no problem spending it on you. Weekends on yachts, helicopter rides to wine tastings, rented out restaurants and movie theatres - he will drop bags to make you feel valued and treasured. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Average length, thick, a slight curve. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

More than anything, Miguel craves you and that is not limited to sex. You’re his peace. You ground him when both worlds get too heavy and you help him see the bigger picture. While he always wants to fuck your brains out, he also thrives on quiet nights at home, you wrapped in his arms as the TV casts a soft light in the living room - letting him be normal, even if it is just a few hours. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Cartel Daddy gets tired. When you’re both basking in afterglow, his eyes will flutter and he will be asleep ridiculously quick. 

[superbadassnatural]

Falling in Love

Summary: Sam has been in love with Y/N for quite a while and he does everything to win her heart. Square filled: Courting/courtship rituals (spntfwbingo) // Free Space (spnsongchallengebingo: Kiss me - Ed Sheeran) Pairing: Sam x Reader Word count: 4,624 Warnings: fluff and only fluff A/N: this was written for @spntfwbingo and @spnsongchallengebingo! I really enjoyed writing this one. This story was mildly inspired by The Vampire Diaries 3.14. The gifs are mine (I just learned how to make and I’m so happy). Oh, and this is the dress in case you’re wondering. Hope you enjoy it!

The sound of your heels echoed through the hall as you walked out of the elevator and headed to your office. The small chatter, the non stop pacing and the tired eyes were common things on Monday mornings.

“Good morning, Olivia,” you greeted your personal assistant as you stopped by her desk.

“Good morning, Y/N,” her lips curled into a sweet smile. “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, you know, just lots of work. I’ve been working on this case and the court hearing is next week so it’s taking a toll on me. Other than that I binged watch The Walking Dead,” you shrugged. “How about you? Did you go out with Thomas?”

“I did,” she sighed as she finished typing. “He’s not that fun. I think we just didn’t click.”

“That sucks.”

“Yep, but I had fun this weekend. Had some quality ‘me’ time. Although I need to catch up on The Walking Dead,” she chuckled.

“You do. It’s really great. I’m loving it.”

“Morning, gorgeous,” his voice echoed in your ears as he walked past you.

“Morning, ass,” you said as you turned to him, only to see his back as he headed to his office.

“Morning to your ass, too,” Sam said before shutting his door and winking at you.

“When are you going to give him a chance?”

“Never?” you scoffed.

“C’mon, Y/N,” Olivia nearly whined. “Sam likes you and deep down you like him too.”

“Liv, we work together. It would never work.”

“We work together and we are still friends,” she argued, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“It’s different and you know it,” you sighed. “Alrighty, guess I have to get my work started then. Oh and get us some coffee, please.”

“Roger that.”

She stood up and headed to the coffee machine down the hall as you walked towards your office. You opened the door and the first thing your eyes landed on was the bouquet of pink and orange-ish roses sitting on your desk. As usual, there was a champagne envelope in the middle of them. You opened and again you found yourself amazed by his calligraphy.

You look gorgeous today, Y/N. As always. Fondly, Sam

A smile made its way to your lips as you read his words. He was so sweet. A good way to start your day.

After turning on your computer, you sent Olivia a message, asking her to get you a vase. You placed the envelope in your purse. Once you get home, you’re going to put it in your box along with all the notes and letters he had sent you.

Although you only met Sam on your first day working on Winchester’s Legal Firm, your mother was friends with Mary. After you graduated from Harvard she told Mary you were a lawyer looking for a job. John contacted you and set up a job interview.

The first time you walked in the building, you were mesmerized. It was enormous. It looked exactly like a law firm from the tv shows you used to watch. On your first day, John introduced you to Sam, his youngest son who had chosen to stay in the family business. At the time, it had been three years since he’d graduated from Stanford. Sam helped you get settled in and showed you around the firm.

You had started small. At first you got small cases and sometimes a more experienced lawyer would help you out and guide you. John made sure you got help from the best lawyers in the company. Sometimes you felt like you were treated differently because you were the daughter of a friend, but when you brought it up to him, he denied. He said he did that for everyone starting in his company. You knew that wasn’t true.

Nowadays you work on cases that appear on the news. Your face appeared on tv a few times. You found it odd when you saw yourself on the news during prime time. Your mom would always send a picture of the screen of her television with you in it, telling you she was proud. Sam did that sometimes too. He’d shoot you a message saying how beautiful you were or how your voice sounds so perfect when it echoes in his home.

A soft knock on your door pulled your attention away from your screen.

“C’mon in,” the door opened and revealed Olivia with the vase you asked.

“Wow, these are gorgeous,” she said as her eyes landed on the bouquet. “And smell good too.”

“Yeah, they do,” you smiled, placing the flowers in the vase. “I bet his PA chose these ones. He usually gets me blue roses or dahlias or even sunflowers,” you shrugged.

“Trust me, he chose these,” she said. “I have known Sam Winchester since I was fifteen, he wouldn’t ask for someone else to buy flowers for the girl he likes.”

“He doesn’t like me, Liv,” you shook your head. “He likes flirting with me. He likes courting me like I’m some damsel,” you explained to her with a roll of your eyes. “He likes the idea of me. That’s it.”

“Sure, Y/N, keep telling yourself that,” she sighed exasperated. “You need anything?” you shook your head and she walked out of your office.

You had much more important things to focus on than Sam’s feelings for you and his attempts to win your heart.

When you first met Sam, he was shy and mostly quiet, but as the time passed, he became more comfortable around you. Then you both started flirting and joking around. When feelings started to get in the way, things escalated to another level. Whilst Sam grew more caring and started trying to win your heart, you tried to put some distance between you. Sam is adorable and he’s a boyfriend material, but you worked together. You worked for his father. Sam never gave up though you gave him every reason why it wasn’t going to work. He didn’t even bother to hide his feelings from others. Everyone knew he liked you and that he bought you flowers every now and then. Sam has been courting you for about a year now. You enjoyed everything he did for you. He bought you nice gifts — some of which were really expensive — along with cute notes or letters. Every now and then something would be delivered at your home or your office. At the beginning, you tried to return it to him, but he wouldn’t take it back, so you stopped bothering.  

Later that day, you heard familiar soft knocks on the door. You muttered a ‘come in’ as you looked through the papers scattered on your desk.

“Hey,” he smiled, shutting the door behind him. “How you doing?”

Sam was wearing his graphite suit with a marigold tie. He looked so damn good in those. It should be a crime.

“Hey,” you glanced up at him, eyes meeting his hazel ones. “I’m tired and stressed. You?”

“I’m okay,” he sat on your desk. “Still working on that murder case?”

“Yeah,” you stretched as a yawn left your lips. “I have to be in court again next Tuesday. Can’t wait to get this over with.”

He smiled sympathetically. His hazel eyes roamed around the room in search of something you couldn’t quite point out.

“D’you like it?” his head motioned to the flowers that were now decorating your bookcase.

“I did. They are gorgeous,” you stood from your seat, walking towards the shelf. “Your assistant knows which ones to buy,” you scoffed.

“What makes you think Charlie bought these?” he asked, standing beside you.

“Well, you certainly don’t have the time to go out and buy a bouquet of flowers for me, Winchester.”

“I do. It takes some time to choose which one I think you’d like better, but it’s worth it,” he shrugged. “Also, I really aced the color of the flowers. See, they match your clothes,” a cocky smile hung on his lips as his fingers motioned to your clothes.

He was right. It did match. You were wearing a cream bow neck blouse and bright pink pants along with nude heels.

“This one is the same color as your pants,” he pointed and you chuckled. “You coming to the ball next Saturday?”

“I dunno,” you pursed your lips, heading back to your desk. “I’m not really in the mood and I don’t have a fancy gown.”

“You should come. It’s the company’s 50th anniversary. My mom has been planning this party for a long time and she would love to see you there,” he tried to convince you. “As for the dress, that can be arranged.”

“Sam, don’t,” you warned him with wide eyes.

“Argh, fine,” he sighed. “I should probably let you get back to work.”

————

You unlocked the door to your home. A feeling of relief washing through your body as you stepped inside. There was nothing better than coming home after an exhausting day of work.

Relaxing on the shower, you washed your body. The stress leaving you with every stroke of your loofah over your skin. You needed this. After drying yourself and putting on some baggy clothes, you headed to the kitchen to make yourself dinner.

The doorbell rang. You jumped and then frowned. You weren’t expecting anyone. Opening the door, you noticed no one was there, but a paper bag was on your doorstep. You picked it up and brought it inside. You opened and a paper with his gorgeous handwriting sat on top of the things he bought.

Olivia told me you needed these...

Inside the paper bag there were some chocolate bars, gummy bears, chips and protein bars. At the bottom, you found a box of ibuprofen and another of ketoprofen along with another note.

Thought you might need these too. Also, in case you want something warm to cuddle and keep the pain away, text me and I’ll grab my pillow and come over ;p

You smiled at his words. He was so caring. It was the first time he did this kind of thing. As much as you were in complete awe over his endearment, you were also pissed that he knew when you were on your period. Damn you, Liv.

You thanked him over text and said you had a heating pad to cuddle and it was pretty capable of keeping the pain away, teasing him. Sam… he cared too much about you. He was investing his time and spending his money in a possible relationship that didn’t have a future.

---------

The days flew as you kept yourself busy with your big case and a few small ones. After the court hearing, everything became lighter. You had won the case and the defendant was given a life sentence without the possibility of parole. You were happy with how that had turned out.

As Saturday came closer, all everyone talked about was the company’s anniversary party. A part of you wanted to go. You needed to let yourself loose a little and spending some time with your colleagues outside of work would be great. But another part of you wanted to stay home, relaxing on your bathtub and binge-watching your favorite tv show. You still haven’t decided yet.

Every year, Mary and John threw fancy parties for the company’s anniversary. This time it’s going to be even fancier. A ball for its fiftieth birthday. It was a big deal so it deserved a bigger celebration. You understood that, but you didn’t like going to balls. You didn’t even have a long fancy dress to begin with. And you weren’t so sure you’d have fun at such a formal event. Olivia said she’d lend you a dress. She was the same size as you so it would fit, but you still weren’t sure if you were going to go.

You finished typing in your computer just as your clock marked it was time to go home. Fridays were usually busy and stressful, but not today and for that you were glad. Grabbing your purse, you walked out of the building and went straight for your car, starting the engine. You couldn’t wait to get home. Everyone had a day off tomorrow because of the party. You had less than twenty four hours to decide whether you should go or not. For now, at least until you get home, you will ignore the messages asking if you were going. They will know when you decide. And for them, you mean Sam, Olivia, and Mary.

Mary was friends with your mother. Although you only met her later when you filled an application to work in her firm, she liked you a lot. When you were a teenager you had heard many stories of her and your mom about their high school years. You had seen many pictures of her, but never had seen her in person. She cared a lot about you. She’d always tell you to give her son a chance. She said he deserved a person like you, but you just brushed it off and told her it wouldn’t work and he would only get hurt.

As you parked your car, you noticed a maroon package on your doorstep. Your eyebrows knitted into a frown. That was odd. You haven't ordered anything. You picked it up and walked inside. After locking the door and placing your purse over the counter, you headed to your room with the box in your hands. This could only be Sam. You placed it in your bed. It was a beautiful box, it had a cream satin ribbon tied into a bow. You sucked in a deep breath before opening it. What did he buy you this time?, you wondered.

Opening the box, a sapphire blue gown revealed itself before your eyes. You gasped. Sam had bought you expensive stuff before, but this was on a whole new level. You stared wide-eyed at the dress folded beautifully. You couldn’t find it in you to touch it. Slowly, your fingers reached for the satin, grazing over the material. This couldn’t be real. He didn’t do that. He couldn’t. At this point, you didn’t even want to know how much it cost him. Reluctantly, you took the gown in your hands, removing from the box. It was one of the most beautiful dresses you had ever seen. A cream envelope rested at the bottom of the box. Your name was written in a neat handwriting. You opened it and read the letter.

Save me a dance. Yours, Sam.

A smaller paper with his handwriting followed.

Olivia told me your size. Hope it fits. If it doesn’t, give me a call. I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night.

You stared fixed at the smaller note, slack-jawed. He has really gone through all that effort just to get you a gown for a ball you didn’t even know you were going. Well, now you had to despite wanting to go or not. Sam had really outdone himself this time.

Sam had bought you jewelry before and you were sure it was expensive as hell. Sometimes he brought your favorite dish to your office so you’d stop working and have lunch. He knew if he didn’t do that, you’d spend the afternoon without eating because you were too busy. He got flowers delivered to your office and to your home. He left you sticky notes just to let you know he was thinking about you. Once he met this guy that could draw realistic things and he asked him to draw you. He showed him his favorite picture of you and the man drew you. At the bottom of the paper, it said ‘this feels like falling in love’. Sam was everything you could ask for in a guy. Sometimes you wonder why you just didn’t let him all the way in. He had the potential to destroy you in ways no one ever could. That scared you.

————

Saturday had started just like any other day. Except it felt as if it was actually Sunday because you had the day off. You went grocery shopping and used some of your free time to clean your apartment. Although you didn’t like to admit it, you were nervous about tonight. You were afraid of meeting Sam in a tux and feeling something different when you looked at him. You had tried for so long to keep your feelings shutted down and buried in the bottom of your heart. Now they were just all over the place. They were on the gorgeous gown in the box. They were on the blue roses in your living room, on the bright pink roses in your office. They were on the face masks he bought you, on the bath bombs he knew you liked. They were impregnated on the necklaces and earrings in your drawer. Your home had pieces of him everywhere. Most important, he was in your mind and heart.

After a relaxing bath, you put on your robe and placed your make-up on the counter. You didn’t want to do something heavy but you also didn’t want something too light. As your hair dried out, you started working on your make-up. Your skin was already moisturized so you prepared it with primer before applying a light coat of foundation. Then concealer for a light coverage, followed by foundation powder, a bit of bronzer and blush here and there, and highlighter. So far, you were satisfied with the results. You opened your eyeshadow pallete and opted for lighter shades. After curling your eyelashes, you wriggle the brush of your favorite mascara across the roots of your lashes. Then you applied your favorite lipstick over your lips and finalized your makeup with setting spray. By the time you finished, your hair had almost completely dried out.

Your heart started to pound in your chest as you entered your bedroom. You stared at the gown that was now on hanger. It seemed that it would tear itself apart if you touched it. It was so beautiful. Silvery jewels along the bodice. Thin blue straps only made it look even more delicate. The long, sapphire blue, silk-pleated skirt had you swooning.

You shrugged off your robe, pooling around your feet, and walked towards the dress. Your fingers brushed over its skirt. Sucking in a deep breath, you removed the gown of the hanger and put it on. It fitted perfectly, just like you anticipated. You walked to the full length mirror and were mesmerized. Jaw-slacked, you absorbed all the details of the gown. It felt as if it was designed just for you. The color blue looked good on you. The gown hugged your body in all its smoothness. You turned a little to get a full glance, the skirt swooned around your ankles. In that moment, you have never felt so beautiful.

After waking up from your trance, you knew exactly which heels to put on. Few months ago, you bought this pair of white heels that held a little bit of silver and were extremely comfortable. They probably wouldn’t be visible, but they matched the dress perfectly. You picked a delicate necklace Sam gave you to go along.

Your hair was done in no time. You had opted for pinning it up in a loose and edgy updo. A few loose locks of hair graced your face.

You called an uber and in twenty minutes you found yourself in front of the hotel. A sign pointed to the right indicated the ball was that way. You took a deep breath before walking in that direction. Deep down, you were nervous, but you were also confident about the way you looked. This time you might actually fit in.

Your eyes widened as you stepped foot into the room. The decoration was in shades of gold and white with a little silvery here and there. Your eyes searched for him in the crowded room. It was inevitable. Everytime you’d walk into a room you knew Sam was in, your eyes wouldn’t stop roaming around the area in search of him. They found him. He wore a shiny black tuxedo along with a black tie. It fitted his body perfectly and only made his shoulder look broader. In other words, he was hot as hell.

In a matter of seconds, Sam’s hazel eyes found yours. His gaze fixed on you. He had to use every last ounce of his strength to not to gasp. Yet, his lips parted. How did you manage to look even more beautiful? Sam couldn’t hear what his coworkers were talking about. He couldn’t hear the music playing. His attention was solely on you. Your lips curled into a smile as you held up your hand and mouthed a “hi” before making your way to Mary and John.

“Y/N,” Mary beamed, hugging you. “You look beautiful, sweetie. I’m so glad you came.”

“Yeah, I’m glad too,” you smiled.

“Please, help yourself. I think your friends are here already. If you need anything, just look for us,” she winked, leaving to welcome other guests.

Before you had the chance to walk to your friends, Sam approached you, offering you a glass of champagne.

“You look stunning tonight,” his eyes glistening as he stared at you.

“Thank you,” you smiled, as you sipped at your glass. “For everything. I mean, if you didn’t buy me this gown, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Oh, you know, I was just passing by then I saw this dress on a shop window and thought of you.”

“Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that,” you scoffed. “I think I owe you a dance, don’t I?”

“You do,” he smiled, placing yours and his empty glasses on a table nearby.

You noticed him signaling to someone, before he held out his hand. You gladly took it and let him walk you to the center of the room. A few people were dancing. The song ended and a slower one filled your ears. One you knew too well. Your lips curled into a smile.

His right hand made its way to your lower back. Your left hand resting on his shoulder as the other held his big, rough hand. As your eyes met his hazel orbs, everyone seemed to dissolve around you.

Settle down with me Cover me up Cuddle me in Lie down with me And hold me in your arms

The rhythm of the song guided your movements. For the first time, you were nervous around Sam Winchester. He pulled you a little closer and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.

And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed in my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

“Someone once sent me a playlist they created with songs that reminded them of me. This song was the first one and they said it was their favorite,” you teased.

“I wonder who that is,” he smirked.

“Oh, you know, just some guy I happen to have a thing for.”

Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved

The warm pressure of his hand on the small of your back made uncontrollable feelings surge through your body. You were overwhelmed. You had let him in. All the way in. Sam Winchester has won your heart. There was no holding back now. Your body was acting on its own, it was at his mercy.

He leaned his head closer to yours. “This feels like falling in love. Falling in love. We're falling in love,” he whispered ever so softly against your ear.

Settle down with me And I'll be your safety You'll be my lady I was made to keep your body warm But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms

You drew him closer to you. It felt as if you couldn’t get enough of him. Your eyes glistened as you stared at his beautiful face.

Oh no My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

He was so close. His breath fanning at your cheeks. Once again you let him sway your body around and around, your gown billowing out. His face was perfect. His hazel eyes held a spark every time he looked at you. His slightly parted lips only made you want to taste them. You love him. Simple as that.

Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love

You couldn’t refrain your eyes from staring at his pink lips. They were so kissable. You were drawn to them.

“If someone had said to me a guy would spend a whole year courting me and trying to make his way to my heart, I’d have laughed and then punched them.”

“Well, you deserve to be courted,” he shrugged. “If you let me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives worshiping you.”

You continued to dance and spin around the room. You were amazed at yourself for not squishing his foot under your own not even once. The lights seemed to twinkle with every step as you spun delicately.

Yeah I've been feeling everything From hate to love From love to lust From lust to truth I guess that's how I know you So I hold you close to help you give it up

As the song came closer to its end, Sam raised his hand to your upper-middle back. He applied a gentle pressure to your back to let you know he wanted to dip you. You trusted him completely to not let you fall. You were safe in his arms. He mildly lowered you backward.

So kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love

Your eyes were locked. His hazel orbs glistened as they seemed to stare deep into your soul. Your whole body ignited with something you’ve never felt before. His pupils dilated as he took in every trace of your face, every detail. Your breath was caught in your throat. Your eyes remained lost in his as he pulled you back up with him. Your breasts pressed firm to his chest.

Both of his hands were placed on your hips now as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You smiled before capturing his lips into a passionate kiss. The whole world fell away once again. Your brain was lit on fire as a warm spread through your entire body.

Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love

He managed to pull you closer to him until there was no space between you. Until you could feel his heart beating against your chest. His tongue grazed over your lower lip and at your granted access he delved into your mouth. The caress and the strokes of his tongue were softer than you could have imagined. You could never have enough of him. He was intoxicating, but in a good way. You felt his lips curl into a smile before you parted.

“We’re falling in love,” you whispered between panting breaths before pecking his lips once again.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! You can send it my way via reply, reblog or ask!

Sam Babes:

@maya-craziness

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

The Thing™️

Hi, y’all! This is how I return my love to all of you who like/comment/reblog/follow and give me soSOso much love. Thanks for sticking with me, and I hope you enjoy reading this piece as much as I enjoyed writing it, considering it required me to intently study The Thing™️ to maintain inspiration.

Summary/Warning: Rami knows what The Thing™️ does to you, but you don’t know that he knows . . . until now. Pretty much PWP, but I think it’s also loving and fluffy. But smutty. So, so smutty. Under 18s, begone, please.

GIF Credit: @s-k-y-w-a-l-k-e-r​

Shifting in your chair, you crossed your legs as you pushed your plate away, full from the pleasant meal. The restaurant was crowded, a dimly lit, opulent place where the dark wood of the tables matched the wood on the walls and the ceiling, giving it an intimate feel despite the din of so many voices. The laughter of your good friends sounded around the table as they enjoyed their after-dinner drinks; you took in their smiling faces which were intermittently crossing between shadow and soft light from the low lamps that lined the middle of the table. You felt happy, secure, and as you moved your eyes to the striking man sitting across from you, you thought about how much of that happiness was thanks to him.  

Your eyes lingered on Rami’s face as his attention turned to you, his smile still broad as he held your gaze, but slowly, that smile slipped as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip, his cheeks subtly sinking in as he pressed his lips together before they returned to their full, pursed glory. His bottom lip glistened when he caught the light of the lamp as he leaned forward to answer a friend’s question two seats down.

And now you were done for, capable of doing nothing more than praying for the check to come so you could go home and pull that bottom lip into your mouth, sucking on it until Rami groaned—

“Y/N? Do you remember the name of that bookshop on West 69th near Columbus Ave?” the friend on your left asked.

His attention returned at the mention of your name, Rami looked at you expectantly.

“I—it was called, uh, Shop Around the Corner after the store in the movie,” you said, composing yourself.

Your eyes flicked to Rami and—for fuck’s sake!

He did it again.

The movement of his lips was cut short this time as a bout of laughter from the other end of the table caught his attention and he turned away from your heated gaze, seemingly noticing nothing unusual about your stuttered response.  

Your check did come soon, and as Rami helped you into your coat, he whispered in your ear that the car was waiting. The two of you doled out another round of goodbyes to your friends before Rami quickly ushered you out of the side entrance.

He chattered about how nice of an evening it was for the entirety of the short drive, leaving you needing only to agree and nod in response. Rami didn’t comment once on your subdued engagement, clearly oblivious to your desire to spend the evening worshipping one another’s bodies in an attempt to satisfy the desperate ache he was entirely at fault for causing.

Rami gave no indication that he was in the mood for sex as he hung both of your coats up in the hall closet of your recently purchased loft in the city, nor when he walked back to his bedroom closet, unbuttoning his black blazer and sliding it off his shoulders.

Your lips turned down in a slight frown as you stepped out of your heels and picked them up to walk them back to your own closet.

“Did you call Jas back about Mom’s birthday?” Rami called across the room.

“I have not,” you answered, placing your jewelry in the bowl on top of the dresser in the middle of your closet.

You let your short, shimmery dress fall to the floor before you stepped out of it and picked it up again, checking for any stains before you placed it back on its hanger.

“Want anything before bed?” Rami asked from the open door of your closet, his hands hidden in the pockets of his black lounge pants, his torso covered by the white undershirt he had worn for the evening beneath his white dress shirt.

“Mmm . . . yeah,” you said as you moved to the center of your closet to rummage through the drawer for a sleepshirt. “I could go for a night-cap.”

Rami remained in the door frame, now leaning against it as he watched you change. You reached back and unhooked your bra, your breasts bouncing free as you sighed with relief. You glanced up and smirked as Rami’s eyes were clearly focused on your chest, watching until you slipped your dark blue sleepshirt over your head.

He looked up and smiled sweetly as if he hadn’t been doing anything other than casually chatting.

Without speaking, he turned and walked out to the kitchen while you changed out of your fancy undies and put on a comfortable pair of cotton ones. As you snapped the bands around your bum into place, you began to forget about how worked up Rami had inadvertently made you after dinner, nearly forgetting it entirely as you settled onto your large, living room sofa.

You were scrolling through your phone when a glass of red wine appeared in your peripheral vision. You flicked the apps shut and hit the sleep button, muttering a quiet thanks as you reached for the glass.

You took a sip as Rami settled into the chair just across from you, taking a swallow of his own wine before setting the glass on the table beside him. When you looked up, he was watching you, and when he knew your eyes were locked on his, he did it.

The Thing.

Your eyes narrowed and you shifted on the couch, stretching out your legs and placing your feet on the floor.

“Rami,” you said, your voice low.

“Yes?” he asked with a lift of his brow, a perfectly neutral expression on his face.

You said nothing, continuing to look at him, wondering, for the first time if he knew exactly what that lip bite did to you.

As your silence stretched, Rami reached for his glass and took a long drink. You watched him swallow and your lips parted, your mouth working as you very slightly bit down on your bottom lip as you thought about just how aware Rami was of the effect of that thing he did on you.

Rami shifted, spreading his legs a little farther apart, watching your eyes flick to his lap before crawling back up to meet his.

“Was there something you wanted to ask me?”

“You know, don’t you? You’ve known all along what that—that thing you do does to me.”

Rami was a brilliant actor, but without the protection of a character to hide behind, he was a horrible liar. You never worried about him cheating on you, not because you knew he was irrevocably in love with you, and not because you knew he’d never hurt you, but simply because he’d never be able to hide it from you. He had yet to pull off a special Christmas gift or a birthday surprise without giving it away days, sometimes weeks in advance.

It was an endearing quality, his inability to lie a running joke, and one of the many reasons you loved him.

Rami’s lips quirked up at the corners, his eyes filling with a sparkle of mischief, but he didn’t speak, which was another sign of knowing he got caught. If he opened his mouth, only the truth would come out.

Rami took another drink, hoping to distract your glower, but you weren’t about to back down. You had to hear him say it.

“Rami. Do you know what that does to me?”

This time he laughed, a soft chuckle as he shifted his eyes over your body, unwilling to meet your gaze, an adorable awkwardness settling over him as he moved his knees in and his fingers drummed on the arm of the chair in no discernable pattern.

“I didn’t think you’d ever guess I figured it out—I have a lot of idiosyncrasies,” he said, his eyes finally sliding up to yours.

“So many. But that one . . . that one has a very specific effect on me, of which you’ve been reaping quite the benefit for a long time now.”

“It’s all a part of the game, though isn’t it? Part of what keeps it exciting?”

You picked up your glass and took a long drink, watching Rami over the rim as he continued to fidget.

Standing, you placed your wine back on the side-table before crossing the few steps to Rami’s chair. He closed his knees, silently inviting you to slide onto his lap.

Once you settled onto his thighs, you rested your hands on his shoulders close to his neck, your fingers ghosting over the soft material of his shirt.

“Why do you feel the need to still seduce me? You could just give me a smack on the ass and say, ‘let’s bone, babe’ and I’d be down.”

Rami giggled, a sweet, low sound in the back of his throat. His hands moved to wrap around your wrists, resting over them as he looked up at you, his eyes a greyish blue in the soft light of your home.

“Where’s the creativity in that?”

You shook your head, a crooked smile of happiness lighting up your features.

Until he did it again, very slowly, and very provocatively.  

Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open in feigned shock.

“You are such a little slut!”

He laughed, quickly wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you close, hugging you tight against him so his face pressed into your chest. You lowered your head to rest your cheek against his shiny-soft curls that still smelled faintly of the pomade he used that morning to style them.

Rami turned his head and angled his face up, kissing the base of your throat.

You hummed in appreciation, and he released his hold on you, just enough so he could reach more of your neck. You pulled your hair to the side to encourage him to continue his trajectory, his tongue now licking a path to the base of your ear.

Rami nipped at this sensitive spot before he pulled the skin into his mouth, sucking gently and causing a shivery wave of arousal to shoot through your body.  

His hands had already snaked under your sleep shirt, and you felt his fingertips gently slide up your back from hip to neck until he hooked his hands over your shoulders and pushed you down to grind into his lap.

You both moaned.

Your eyes opened lazily, and you let them wander over his face, taking in his pink-tinged cheeks and his shiny lips, thinking that no one on earth could compete with Rami’s beauty when he was like this.

Running a hand through his hair, you twined your fingers within his strands and grasped them gently, pulling his head back enough for you to kiss him properly.

He tasted a little sweet from the wine, and you wasted no time in deepening the kiss, losing yourself to the sensation of his tongue sliding into your mouth and the feeling of his lips as they mimicked the movement of your own.

You tugged a little harder on his hair, pulling a tiny gasp from Rami’s throat so you could trace your tongue over his upper lip, then over that damned lower lip, but before you could capture it, Rami squeezed your ass.

“Bed.”

You huffed, frustrated at the interruption until Rami elaborated.

“Promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Before you knew it, he was pushing you back onto the bed, and pulling his shirt off. He shuffled out of his lounge pants as you pulled your sleep shirt over your head and chucked it onto the floor. Rami’s fingers hooked your underwear and slid them quickly off your body.

He placed hasty, sloppy kisses across your chest and your stomach, making it perfectly clear he was interested only in burying his face between your thighs. He nipped lightly at the skin on your stomach before he spread your legs and licked a long, flat stripe over your folds.  

You shuddered with pleasure, knowing you were shamefully wet for him already.

Despite his initial hurry to get you naked, he was taking his time now, tasting every bit of you by using slow, teasing licks. He had pulled each of your lips into his mouth before he laved at your center, pushing his tongue inside of you as deeply as he could.

“Rami,” you breathed, your hand reaching for his curls as he chuckled, knowing what you wanted.

Rami’s lips were soon attached to your clit, lightly sucking. He was pacing himself, determined to draw an incredible orgasm out of you as he patiently worked with his mouth. He kept his fingers on your thighs, steadying them as they tried to twitch shut from the stimulation that was bordering on too much and definitely not enough.

He sucked a little harder before releasing your clit and switching to using the tip of his tongue to stimulate you. The breathy, involuntary little noises he made as he worked you toward a climax built to pleased grunts of satisfaction as if he lived for being surrounded by the taste of you.

You could feel your cheeks heating up, flushing as your orgasm formed; you were completely at his mercy until you gave him the final direction he needed to push you over the edge.

“Your mouth, Rami, your mouth,” you whispered as he switched back to sucking on your clit, this time with more gusto.

You sighed and moaned, your breath catching in your throat as he continued and you arched your back as your eyes rolled up and shut.

“Yes, Rami, yes. Don’t stop, don’t stop,” you muttered, your mind barely able to form cohesive strings of words as the heat moved through your body, creeping down your chest and into your abdominal muscles, which were now trembling as your orgasm became imminent.

You felt the pressure of Rami’s fingers on your thighs as he stabilized them, humming around your clit as his own breathing increased from the effort he was putting in to get you off with only his mouth.

And the thought of him—of his body, his face, and that fucking THING he did with his mouth—was enough to send the heat that had been building in your core straight to the bundle of nerves under Rami’s lips.

Your orgasm was strong, coming in waves, your body quivering as the intense pleasure rolled over you again and again as Rami continued the movements of his lips and his tongue, not letting up, humming around you as you moaned his name, muddling it with a chorus of yesses. When your thighs relaxed, Rami loosened his hold but still twirled his tongue around your clit until you moved out of his reach, panting and pressing your thighs shut.

Slowly, you came back to yourself and looked down to see Rami on his haunches, proud as a peacock for bringing you such unrestrained pleasure, his hand moving over and around his mouth to swipe at the excess evidence of your orgasm.

And of course he did the thing, pressing his lips together for a long moment after his tongue had licked off the last remnants of your arousal.

“Come here,” you growled, sitting up to grab him as you spread your legs and he settled between them, sliding his aching cock into you in a smooth, practiced motion.

Both of you groaned at the contact, clutching onto each other as Rami set a slow pace, letting you kiss him, delighting in the taste of yourself on his lips as you were finally able to do what you thought about at dinner, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth, sliding your tongue over the skin before releasing it with a soft pop.

“Y/N,” Rami moaned. “You feel so good.”

“So good,” you echoed, pushing your hips up to meet his.

You dragged your nails down his back, loving the way the muscles flexed as he moved, but Rami was far too excited to keep the slow pace. You knew he wanted to fuck when he pulled back and settled in a kneeling position. He grabbed your hips and pulled you toward him, angling himself back into your body, thrusting shallowly, lazily for all of a few seconds before he looked at you and thrust into you so hard your breasts bounced at the contact.

And he didn’t stop.

Rami’s thumbs were going to leave tiny bruises on your hipbones as he held you in place while he fucked you; you grabbed your breasts to keep them from bouncing around with the force of his thrusts, knowing he loved this—loved watching you touching yourself as you felt your body responding to the force of his cock.

“Is this what you wanted earlier?” Rami panted. “When you gave me that look across the table? Wanted me to fuck you like this?”

“Yes,” you panted back. “Yes, yes, yes!”

“Looked so good tonight—always look so good,” Rami paused as he slowed his thrusts and pulled back, almost all the way out of you.

“You—”

Rami slammed into you and then slowly pulled back out again, leaving just the tip of his dick inside your slick center.

“Drive—”

“Oh, god,” you moaned, your eyes rolling back as he slammed into you again.

“Me—”

You were an incoherent mess of moans and words as he did it again, forgoing trying to anchor your breasts now and stretching up to clutch at the edge of the mattress.

“Crazy,” he finished with one final slam as you felt him come inside of you, his cock emptying, spending itself in a way that always drove you crazy.

“Fucking hell,” you muttered, your chest heaving as Rami bent to swipe a lick over each of your nipples, pulling one into his mouth and sucking hard, causing you to swat at him as he giggled and released the over-sensitive flesh as he flopped onto his back, his own chest sweaty, rising and falling quickly from his exertion.

You could feel him stretch out beside you, his leg flush against yours as he reached up to stretch, his hands lightly resting around two slats in the headboard.

“You drive me pretty crazy, too,” you said as you looked over at him, taking in his gorgeous profile, his skin so brown and smooth in the dim lighting that filtered up from the living room.

“I know. And I know just how to do it, too,” he said with a smirk before he turned his head to face you. “Now that you know my signature move, it’s only fair you tell me yours.”

“Who says I have one?”

“Everyone has one.”

“And you haven’t figured out what mine is?”

“Well, existing works really well,” Rami flirted, his voice sexy and low in this utterly relaxed state. “Every time I see you, think about you, hear your voice, smell your perfume, I want to be near you, I just . . . want you.”

“Mmmm. That’s sweet.”

“But we both know that’s not it.”

“We do,” you confirmed with a grin. “Guess I’ll just be keeping my secret a little longer than you kept yours.”

“What if I tease it out of you,” Rami said, as he rolled over, his thigh sliding between your legs as he rested half on top of you. His hand slid between your bodies and he ran his fingers through his handy-work before he lightly circled over your still-sensitive clit.

“You can certainly try,” you said with a tiny gasp as he applied more pressure.

“And try, and try, and try,” Rami grinned as he bent to kiss you.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Dwayne

(Not my gif)(Requested by like three anonymous askers)

(Sorry if these suck its hard to write for someone who has like no lines)

- You met Dwayne on the boardwalk, the only place anyone has a chance of actually seeing the vamps. Laddie had ran past and knocked the bag out of your hands. As you were picking up everything that had spilled out, two more hands came to help you.

- When you looked up, voila, there he was in all his glory. You realized the boy was with him after he turned around and told him to apologize. You brushed off the apology with a smile, thanked the man and quickly retreated back into the crowd nervously.

- Dwayne decided that he needed to have you the moment he watched you practically run from him, a flustered look on your face and the sound of your quickened heartbeat racing in his ears.

- The two of you bump into each other again later that night.

“...Hi.” He’s never been much of a talker has he.

- The two of you share a small laugh and talk for a little bit before you have to go. As you go to walk off, he stops you and asks if you’d like to go out with him sometime. Because you’re a normal person with a functioning brain, you obviously agree to see him again. 

- He takes you to the movies because he doesn’t trust his people/conversation skills. He’s somewhat shy when it comes to new people, especially when he’s alone with them and they’re as pretty as you. You take notice of the fact but to you, it’s kind of sweet and endearing. It’s nice to think that you have some sort of effect on the man who looks like he’s jumped straight out of a magazine.

- You guys keep looking over at each other more interested in the beauty beside you than the actual movie. You end up making out after thirty minutes of “watching” the film. It’s hard not to make out with someone who is just so kissable but I digress

- After that you continue to see each other. You would kiss and all that but he would also sometimes disappear for a day or two and sometimes more with no warning leaving you wondering if he was alive or not or if he really cared about you.

- You guys never put a label on what you had so you didn’t feel like you could really say anything about it or demand to know where he was going. You had fun with him when you did see him so you just tried to enjoy the time you spent with him and told yourself that you you guys weren't serious and that you shouldn't waste your time thinking about “what you guys are”.

- That is until your friends ask about him and whether you’re dating him or anyone else, you can’t exactly say you are since you don’t know so they try and set you up with someone else.

- Dwayne comes to visit you while you’re getting ready for your date and it’s obviously awkward when you have to explain where you’re going and why you’re so dressed up.

- You guys start to argue after he gets angry and when your date comes he straight up goes to the door and tells him to get the fuck off the property before closing the door and pulling you into a kiss.  

“I don’t know if you were confused or what but you’re mine. So you never pull that shit again or else I’ll do more then just scare them away.”

- He’s not entirely romantic but you can’t complain, not many guys are but at least you can say Dwayne has his moments.

- He’s a bit temperamental. He’s quick to anger but hides it behind his usual stoic expression although now you’re an expert at spotting when his body tenses up and his jaw clenches. 

- Jealous as hell, Paul makes fun of him for it and uses it against him when he’s bored and wants some entertainment.

- Though guys don’t really dare try to flirt with you anymore considering your brooding boyfriend is always behind you or at your side but there’s always a time when you’re “alone” and a guy will approach.

- You’ll be talking to a random guy in a completely polite and platonic manner while Dwayne’s watching on like a hawk as per usual. Paul will them proceed to stroll up beside him and trie to start shit.

“Damn do you see the way he’s looking at her Dwayne?”

“What are you talking about Paul?”

“Well man I’m just saying I would never let a guy look at my girl like that. I’d punch the guys lights out but obviously you’re more patient, trusting ... or just dumb.”

- He probably ends up fighting the guy later because Paul provoked him. You have to sit down and scold Paul because he knows damn well what he did.

- If you work a night shift he is always visiting you, he says he’s just hanging around the boardwalk and decided to drop by.

- You probably find out that he’s a vampire like months into the relationship. He probably doesn’t even tell you, you find out from him baring his teeth at some drunk guy who smacked your ass.

- You spend the rest of the night inspecting his face and teeth while he tries to explain it. He’s kind of scared that you’ll decide you can’t be with him because of the whole vampire thing. 

- Intense and rough kisses, he either holds your face or your neck when you kiss.

- He’ll never admit it but he lets out soft moans when you kiss.

- It’s a very intimate and heavy experience, he’s one hell of a kisser and can get you to the point where you feel addicted to him.

- Motorcycle rides, he grabs your ass when he’s helping you onto his bike.

- Night time beach dates with bonfires. You cuddle into his side and watch the stars while listening to the crackling of the fire.

- He loves playing with your hair while you guys lay together, you can hear the slight jingle of his bracelets as his hand moves around your head.

- Wearing his jewelry, he’ll sometimes tell you to keep it when he sees the look on your face when you put it on and the way it looks on you. 

- Head kisses, usually right at your hairline or on the top of your head. 

- Finger guns

- Constant winking

- He’s like shirtless 24/7. Does he own a shirt? You don’t know.

- It’s sometimes annoying because girls ogle the hell out of him (who wouldn’t). He giggles in a manly way when you get jealous, he thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world when you usher him away from girls

 “You know I only like you baby.”

- He’d let you put makeup on him. He wears eyeliner himself and is surprisingly good with makeup.

- He also likes doing your makeup, he loves that he can be so close and have an excuse to touch and look at your face.

- You’re usually the one who initiates any affection. He does actually love when your touching on and kissing him especially when you do it to try and cheer him up. 

- He feels like he can let his guard down around you and open up more than he ever has with anybody.  

- He has never really felt this way about anyone else and he tells you this every so often.

- It’s his way of saying I love you but with more meaning.

- He feels like ‘I love you’ is really cliche and meaningless a lot of the time but if you want to say or want him to he will.

- You’re one of the things that makes him smile the most.

-  His laugh can heal people.

- Loves when you straddle him and kiss his jaw and neck. 

- Since he likes it so much he does the same thing to you. You can’t say that you don’t like it because lets be honest you do. A lot.

- Husky whispers in your ear or while your faces are close together.

- Little gifts from street vendors, you have a little key chain with your initials on it that he randomly got you one night. 

- Thinks it’s impossible to get and stay mad at you. The instant he sees your sad face or hears an apology he forgives you he just can’t stand to see you upset. 

- Paul teases him for this as well but he once saw you when you were upset and has never felt the same ever since. 

- He can’t stand when your mad at him because he barely sees you as is and if you’re trying to avoid or ignore him how is he gonna spend some quality time with you. He’s very dramatic about this.

- Has literally stood outside your door knocking and calling for you until sunrise where you had to let him in so he didn’t fucking die. You finally talk and he apologizes while your checking that he’s not burnt to shit. 

- You threaten to actually burn him if he ever does that again and he just kisses you; happy that you’ve forgiven him.

- He’s always looking out for you and making sure you’re safe

- He actually likes watching romcoms with you because he can see what you wish a guy would do for you. He takes notes ladies and he’ll become your’re ideal man. 

- He calls you babe, sweetheart and hon.

- Couldn’t care less about stretch marks, he actually prefers them. He thinks they’re cool like they’re some type of tattoo.

- Staying up so you can see him.  He tells you that you should really be sleeping but makes no move to leave or take you home.

- He’s stayed at your house during the day at least once, you spend it cuddled up in a dark room watching movies and enjoying the serenity. 

- You surprise him with a room with blocked out windows and his heart melts when you ask him if it could work. 

- He’s ready to die for you no joke. 

- He mostly tries to keep you away from the guys, he knows they aren’t the safest or most trustworthy company. 

- You are the friendliest with Paul out of all the guys, he’s the most easygoing and least ready to fight or kill you. He’s also borderline the only one Dwayne is slightly okay with you hanging out with.  

- You only really met them because they found out about you and took it upon themselves to come to your work and introduce themselves. Dwayne could actually feel his heart drop when you told him. 

- You don’t get why he doesn’t want you hanging out with them. They were only ever nice to you, slightly threatening but nice. 

- He’s just trying to keep you safe and happy for as long as possible before you have to really make the decision between vampire or human.

- He’s willing to get married but would most likely want a small wedding with only close friends and family. 

- He’s obviously good with kids. He wouldn’t mind stealing one and raising it with you.

- He might not be the easiest to date but he definitely makes it worth the trouble.

[jbuffyangel]

Blessed: Arrow 7x13 Review (Star City Slayer)

It may be difficult to form coherent thoughts right now because of all the screaming, but I shall do my level best fam because WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warning: gif explosion ahead.

Let’s dig in...

Olicity and Mia Smoak

OLIVER AND FELICITY ARE HAVING A BABY 

AND IT’S A GIRL

AND SHE GROWS UP TO BE KAT MCNAMARA FROM SHADOWHUNTERS

I AM DYING Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE’VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS DAY!!!!!!

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYTHING IS AMAZING!!!!

Of course, there are plenty of other things to discuss in the episode and we’ll get to it, but right now I want to bask. 

This reveal was EPIC. 

It actually exceeded my expectations because I didn’t think we’d get all the goodies all at once. “Star City Slayer” is basically my Christmas Wish List and Beth Schwartz just put delightful rainbow colored check marks after each request.  *falls to knees to worship Beth*

We knew Arrow was dropping a bomb because Kat McNamara gave us all a heads up in her promotional press tour for “Star City Slayer.” But it’s wasn’t just one bomb. It was several.

First, Felicity is alive which DUH. 

This reveal felt fairly perfunctory and it tells me the Arrow writers didn’t really expect us to believe Felicity was truly dead because, as I always say, they ain’t that crazy. You do not throw out the lightning in the bottle. You keep the lightning in the damn bottle for as long as you possibly can until she starts screaming to get out and you are absolutely forced to let her go otherwise you’ll be charged with kidnapping.

But was I laughing my ass off at all the antis who thought this was their year and Felicity was truly dead? You’re damn right I did. SUCK IT HATERS!!!!

Everything was revealed to us in the last three minutes of the show, which felt like the writers throwing a confetti and glitter bomb at us in a dark hole. 

AND I WILL TAKE IT. Please and thank you. 

We already had a mountain of evidence Mia is Olicity’s daughter, but there are extremely big hints throughout the episode telling us exactly where we are headed.

There is an absolutely beautiful transition from Felicity’s face in the darkness to Mia’s face.  In fact, Felicity’s face almost melts into the Mia’s, so it is pretty damn clear Gregory Smith (the director) is trying to draw a substantial connection. These kinds of shots are important guys. This is how Arrow Arrows. Transitions, cuts, focused shots – it’s all trying to tell the story visually. When Arrow cannot give us the answer directly then they will drop crumbs the size and weight of anvils.

Dinah and Zoe are using Felicity’s Archer program to find where she planted the bombs, but thus far haven’t been able to locate them. Roy believes Felicity could have hid the bombs in the old, but still secret, Team Arrow bunker. But of course we know two people who are already in the bunker!

Mia and JJ tranquilize everyone, tie them up, and begin the interrogations. I like these kids. They’re nifty.

Mia wants the codes to the Archer program from William so she can find Felicity. Nobody questions Mia’s ability to kick William’s ass, least of all William, so he doesn’t last long. He also wants Mia to stop hitting Zoe. Awww… this is the Arrow equivalent of these kids playing Legos together.

Mia tells William Felicity is alive. It’s unclear if Mia knows because she has actual proof or if this is more a gut feeling type of thing. Either way it’s significant. Felicity’s circle of trust is pretty limited in the future. If she trusts Mia then she is incredibly important to Felicity. The only other person Felicity has reached out to for help was William, her son, and she sent him to get Roy, the brother-in-law (I’m just calling it like I see it).  QUEEN FAMILY REUNION!!!!

This whole “Felicity is evil” angle is total crap too. Toss that nonsense out the window.

I think Felicity, Mia and JJ are trying to stop the destruction of Star City by infiltrating the Glade because Rene’s Chief of Staff is evil. Even if I’m wrong about plot points I am not wrong about Felicity being one of the good guys.

Mia can’t quite figure William out and the feeling is mutual. 

William not a vigilante like Zoe, but finds himself embroiled in this bomb plot.

The differences between the two aren’t difficult to see. Mia is street and William is luxury condos. William is tech and Mia is Krav Maga. William is gentle and Mia is punch first ask questions later. To say these two come from different worlds is an understatement and yet they find themselves circling around each other. 

She mistakes his interest in Felicity as romantic and we all gagged right along with William.

Mia’s reaction to Felicity being William’s step mother was a massive tell, which means Oliver isn’t the only one in the family with a terrible poker face.  

Source: plotbunnyshipper

It was similar to Mia’s reaction when William told her Felicity was dead. 

There is a person who cares under that hard exterior. There is someone who loves under all that pain. Sounds like someone else we know doesn’t it?

Oliver made his famous chili tonight, which is something the comic canon nuts have been after for years. But Arrow is going to put their spin on it. The comic canon folks will get their chili, but Oliver is making it for Felicity and William (and not LL like they want and ridiculously still believe they’ll get). It was two spicy for William, but Felicity was having seconds because SHE IS INCUBATING THEIR LOVE CHILD!!!!

Source:  lucyyh

Stan the Fan, who was fantastically creepy, put some kind of drug in the chili to paralyze Oliver, Felicity and William. They went to the hospital and Felicity commented on the “mountains of blood” staff took to confirm there were no lasting effect.

DID SHE SAY BLOOD TEST? 

I didn’t jump off the ground quite yet at this point. It was a fairly offhand remark from Felicity and I wasn’t sure if they’d reveal she was pregnant at the same time they confirmed Mia’s identity. I know I know. It makes complete sense to do it at the same time, but since when does Arrow ever make complete sense? I was being cautious.

And then all the bombs drop. 

Source:  oliverxfelicity

Felicity gets a call from the hospital regarding her blood test and SHE’S PREGNANT!  THIS IS WHEN THE SCREAMING STARTED!!!!

We immediately cut to the flash forwards.  Mia & JJ are fighting Dinah, Roy, Zoe and William. This is a fantastic fight sequence. It really feels like the old guard meeting the new. Roy gets the upper hand on JJ, but Mia gets the upper hand on Dinah. That’s my baby girl!!!!

William nervously holds a gun on Mia, but she’s cool as a cucumber. She knows he won’t shoot.  

And why? *saythewordssaythewordssaythewordssaythewords*

Source:  katie-mcgraths

BOOM!

BLACKSTAR IS MIA SMOAK!!!!!!

THAT’S DAMN RIGHT SHE IS!!!!!!!!!

My screaming went ultrasonic STG. 

It’s so much goodness all it once I almost hyperventilated. 

This reveal was like setting off fireworks in this dystopian nightmare world. 

I AM ALL IN ON THE FLASH FORWARDS.

Is it awful William and Mia don’t know each other? Of course it is. My heart is broken Oliver and Felicity didn’t get to live an idyllic life, raising their babies in peace, and the city is still a hot mess 20 years in the future. I wouldn’t have picked it as a storyline, but if I was writing this show then Olicity would’ve been married in Season 3 and we’d be on our second set of triplets by now.  

I don’t know how the family became splintered, but I am dying to find out. I want to see Felicity reunited with both her son and daughter. I want to know what the hell happened to Oliver. I absolutely want to see William and Mia’s relationship as brother and sister develop. It reminds me of the Season 1 between Oliver and Thea or more accurately Oliver and Emiko now. If everything is a mess in the future then at the very least I want to see the Queen family fighting to make it better. SIGN ME THE HELL UP!!!!!!

It’s not just about the Queen family either. Roy and Dinah officially confirm Connor Hawke is John Diggle’s boy JJ. Finally someone from present day recognizes these kids. 

It’s clearly been YEARS since Dinah or Roy have seen JJ. What the hell happened? Where is Diggle? (Thank you David Ramsey for confirming you’ll be in the flash forwards).  If JJ is working with Mia and Felicity then hopefully it means Diggle is as well.

“Star City Slayer’ felt like the birth of new OTA (William, Mia and JJ). Did you notice how JJ came running in as Mia interrogated William and Dinah, all protective and concerned for her? My ship is setting sail!

Kat McNamara said in her TVLine interview, “Beth has said they’re trying to combine the best qualities of Oliver and Felicity — his physical strength and her intellectual strength. “ 

And she is the best qualities.

Mia is the perfect blend of Oliver and Felicity. Everything we saw in the show was put there for a reason - the scotch,

the fight style, 

her reaction to Oliver’s documentary, 

her reaction to Felicity’s death, 

Mia’s intellectual smarts 

along with her street smarts. 

It was all to show Mia’s connection to her parents. We didn’t imagine anything family. This fandom called it right from the start.  

Let’s rewind a bit and go back to present day. I love how Felicity finds out she is pregnant. A blood test is irrefutable proof. Sure, pregnancy tests have come a long way, but you always get a blood test to confirm. I was happy to skip the whole “Is she sure?” trope.

It’s the perfect way for this child to happen.  I never thought this baby would be planned. Look at Oliver and Felicity’s lives! It’s going to be difficult to find “a good time” and Felicity is extremely pragmatic. I like how Mia’s arrival is unexpected. That’s life folks. If you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans.

If you are screaming “But birth control!!!” lemme tell ya I know plenty of folks who have gotten pregnant on birth control. It would be easy to miss a step here or there given the craziness of Oliver and Felicity’s lives.  I am also of the opinion Oliver “The Sex God” Queen has super sperm.

Felicity is understandably stunned, but she instinctively puts her hand on her belly as she watches William being ushered away to Central City with his grandparents for a “normal life.” 

This is the life Oliver and Felicity chose, but it’s not the life their children chose. Felicity’s desire to protect William and her unborn child is completely understandable and what any mother would do. This news is unexpected and life changing, but Felicity’s hand over her belly shows her instantaneous love. Even though this child was unplanned it is already adored.

Source: olicitygifs

I’m not sure if the costume department specifically chose red on purpose, but Felicity finding out she’s pregnant dressed in a red sweater is a beautiful visual call back to Arrow 3x01 “The Calm.” 

This is the episode where the seeds of this future were sewn. Their dinner at the Italian restaurant didn’t meet the qualifications of a first date, even though it came with all the nerves, because Oliver and Felicity already knew each other really well.  They were already in love.

This was never about one date, a one night stand or even a fling. Oliver put those days behind him the minute he realized he loved Felicity Smoak. 

It was always about forever for him.

Oliver is not a man of many words and it’s difficult for him to talk about emotions or the past. But Oliver owed Felicity the truth after their “ruse” to stop Slade. She needed to know there were no lies in that “I love you.” 

Oliver tells Felicity how much she means to him and the life he dreams of having with her.  

Felicity waited two long years to hear everything Oliver said.

This is why their breakup was so painful. 

Oliver wasn’t just saying no to a relationship with Felicity. He was saying no to everything he dreamed. He was walking away from lazy days in bed, 

failed omelets, 

love ferns, 

brown bag lunches,

soufflés, 

ying yang kisses,

Christmas trees, 

vows in the park,

homework help,

video game wars,

breakfast for dinner, 

Thanksgiving,

and experimental cookies.

Oliver said no to a home, children and a love strong enough to build it all around.

Oliver could picture that life any time he looked at Felicity. He saw their children in her eyes. He knew exactly what he was giving up.  Oliver gave himself one moment to live that dream 

and love the children who would never be.

Anytime you think Oliver only loses I want you to think back to “The Calm.”  You think back to the beginning of the series and remember how far Oliver Queen has come. Remember everything he has built with his blood, sweat and tears. We’ve gone from a man who was emotionally cut off, suffering under the weight of his pain, because of his self hatred and guilt, 

to one who believes he deserves to be loved, fights with everything he has to hold on to love, and shines his light for the world to see.

The fans didn’t introduce the Olicity baby into the story. 

The writers did and they did it for a very specific reason. 

This has always been what Oliver is fighting for. Arrow is not just about saving Star City. It’s about saving Oliver Queen too. Felicity’s love and the family they will build together is his salvation. 

This family is everything Oliver dreamed of. It’s everything he believed he didn’t deserve. It’s everything he’s fought to earn. Love, family and purpose. This is what it means to be alive. From the moment Oliver stopped surviving and truly started living again, this is the promise he’s always been headed towards.

Mia is the fulfillment of that promise. 

She is the final piece to the puzzle.

Mia closes the loop around the life Robert and Moira Queen wanted for Oliver.  The life they died to give him.

Maybe the Queen family is broken and splintered in the flash forward, but they will be put back together. Don’t doubt it for a second. Arrow is mass array of broken pieces which will ultimately fit together to unveil the final image. Salvation for Oliver, Star City, his family and the team is all the same thing. It’s all connected. You don’t get one without the other.  Oliver will save his family just like they saved him. 

It’s also important to remember how far we’ve come as fans who love this romance. We were told constantly Olicity would never happen. The NOlicity haters, L*urivers and antis from every nook and cranny said everything we saw on screen was our imagination. There was never a chance for Olicity. The writers would never abandon comic book canon for a love story of their own creation.

And yet… they did. Felicity became the female lead. Olicity became the central romance of Arrow.  We didn’t imagine anything. Everything we saw was intentional. It was real. The smile was magic. 

Her belief made him believe. 

The lie was the truth. 

The kiss led to 

the sunset drive. 

Everything broken 

would be repaired. 

Shame 

would bring forgiveness.  

The bouquet 

promised the wedding.

And the dream 

would become a reality.

Oliver and Felicity are blessed, and we as fans, are blessed to have them as our OTP.

Olicity and William Clayton

Oy. What a couple of weeks with William. He still hasn’t coughed up a reason for his expulsion, so Oliver and Felicity play good cop/bad cop with him over breakfast. 

Is anyone surprised Oliver is the good cop? No. 

He wouldn’t have been on the damn boat banging his girlfriend’s sister if Robert and Moira Queen said no when he was two. The fact Oliver continually found himself in trouble with his parents is a clear indication whatever discipline the Queen’s used didn’t work. 

In fact, I remember Oliver having this fight with Moira in Season 1 over Thea. It’s a different story when it’s your kid, you’ve been in prison for several months and you just want bond with “Buddy.” Well, hike up the big boy pants and strap on those green tights Oliver. You’re a father now which means NO PANCAKES.

Felicity is the most adorable bad cop to ever walk the face of the earth, but her husband knows better than to question her benevolent rule. 

Bae is still Queen.  Felicity says one word and it’s see ya pancakes. 

Oliver even takes William’s knife and fork away. I died. He’s like a light switch she can flip on and off. Let’s see what else Felicity can make Oliver do!  Sounds like a good use of 45 minutes to me!

Source:  myhauntedblacksoul

I have to be honest if I was expelled, refused to explain why, copped an attitude and stormed out on my parents I would not live to tell the tale. Instead, I would be buried in the backyard next to our pet bunny Petunia. I had no desire to piss my parents off. I valued my life thank you very much.

William does unload on Oliver and its pretty friggin great. The attitude needs to go, but William makes some valid points. 

There’s been a lot of discussion about the “mistakes” Oliver has made and what he needs to do to be a better leader. I’m drawing a blank whenever this topic comes up around the Newbies because they are all awful and Oliver should’ve let them rot in Slabside.

However, the next phase of the Oliver Queen evolution is listening and his teachers are his wife and son. Keep your expectations low fam. Oliver is still a heterosexual male. There’s only so much listening he’s physically capable of doing.

William is cheesed off Oliver went to prison without discussing it with either Felicity or him (FACTS KIDDO), because his father does whatever the hell he wants to do (TRUE STORY). Simply because Oliver was heroically falling on the sword doesn’t erase his inability to ask for opinions. 

Oliver feels this is an unfair characterization, but we only need to look at Felicity’s face and to know William’s remarks are on target.

Source: olicitygifs

Felicity changes into her good cop hat and approaches William with Oliver’s world famous chili and a Rubik cube lesson. 

(FLASH FORWARD CALL BACK!)

Source: ebett 

Oliver acknowledges William’s right to be angry and apologizes. The kid has been through a lot in the last couple years, which is why Oliver wants to bring him home. 

It is at this point Samantha Clayton’s parents show up on Oliver and Felicity’s doorstep.  

That’s right folks! A ticked off William called Grandpa and Grandma to complain. Jeez William. This is how those awful Lifetime movies about custody battles begin. Put down the phone dude.

I’m laughing right now because I’m imagining calling my grandfather to complain about my parents. He would have reached through the telephone to bop me on the head. Then he would’ve said my parents were amazing, I’m the luckiest girl on the planet and I should apologize right the hell now. Then he would’ve sent me fifty bucks. My Papa was the best.

Grandma and Grandpa Clayton have a different approach. They want custody of William. Sigh. I’m not saying they don’t have a point. They didn’t know Oliver was the Green Arrow and the dude is convicted murderer. He just did time in a maximum security prison! Also, he knocked up their daughter and his Green Arrow activities are pretty much the reason she’s dead. So Oliver isn’t going to win the Claytons over anytime soon.

They may think it is an open and shut custody case, but WHERE THE HELL WERE THEY? 

There were plenty of times the Claytons could have intervened, but it takes William calling and complaining for these two to get off their asses? The kid was put into Witness Protection for god sake. Open and shut I think not.

Obviously, Oliver goes growly papa bear and tells them nobody is taking his son. Damn right. He didn’t even get that mad at the Claytons until they insulted Felicity’s ability to parent. I thought Oliver was gonna put an arrow in them. DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF THE WIFEY. HE WILL COME FOR YOUR LIFE AND A LIFE IS WHAT HE WILL TAKE.

I know William is going through stuff, but this is a really dick move. He knows Oliver and Felicity adore him and threatening a grandparent custody battle simply because he’s mad at Dad is completely inappropriate. Anyone can discipline this child at any time. I’ll wait.

Oliver finally finds his angry voice! 

There ya go big fella. It’s the same one you use to interrogate suspects, but with less torture.  And they say the hood didn’t prepare him to be a family man. Pfft.

Oliver and William basically have it out. 

As parent versus child fights go this is a pretty good one. Obviously, Oliver wants to have his son home and give him a normal life, but there is no normal when you are running around in green leather pants shooting arrows every night. 

Am I saying Oliver and Felicity should immediately ship William off to his grandparents? No. There’s a way to build the Queen family version of normal. They’ll do breakfast for dinner, but will occasionally be held hostage. It’s a give and take.

Parents have jobs where their lives are at risk every night. Do police officers ship their kids off to the grandparents? No. Do John and Lyla, who work for the least secret spy agency in the world, ship JJ off to Lyla’s parents? No. Zoe isn’t going anywhere. So why is William flipping his shit?

Source:  olivergifs

Because William lived ten years with his version of normal and that life was with Samantha. It was a life with no masks, kidnappers blowing up islands or incredibly dull mob bosses. As wrong as it was to keep Oliver out of William’s life, Samantha did insulate their son from all the crazy.

William’s mother died pretty recently and this child has adjusted to a lot. He meets his father, but loses his mother. He gets to live with his father and gains a step mother, but he has to move away from his friends, school, grandparents and city. Then, just when he’s adjusted, everything is torn away again. His father is sent to prison and he’s put into Witness Protection with his stepmother. I understand why William is having difficulty adjusting to the Green Arrow life.

Felicity broaches the subject, but even discussing letting William go tears Oliver apart. 

Source:  olicitygifs

Felicity thinks William is old enough to decide for himself what kind of life he wants to live. And right now that life is with his grandparents.  So Oliver lets him go.

Source:  thegayfleet

This is why I’m still mad with writers for killing Samantha. 

If the intent was to protect William from all the insanity of Oliver’s life then why kill his mother? Why bring back Raisa? Why send him off with the grandparents when William simply could be splitting time 50/50 with his mother in Central City? 

Samantha’s existence didn’t preclude Felicity from having a relationship with him. It would have been interesting to see Oliver, Felicity and Samantha co parent.

The only reason Arrow killed off Samantha was to make Oliver a full time father and for the whole father/son sin cycle to continue. Eh. That was never a good enough reason for me, but especially now because they are looking for an escape hatch to throw William out of.  If the endgame was always to route William back to Central City then they should have left his mother alone.

The argument Oliver and Felicity can’t provide William protection or a normal life, when they achieved those things all last season while living a pretty idyllic life, is a lot of nonsense.  Yes, I know Oliver went through a time in Season 6 when he hung up the hood, but Felicity was still on the team. And Oliver suited back up eventually. William could adjust to the new normal just like JJ and Zoe have.  Are JJ and Zoe getting shipped off to their grandparents? No.

It’s difficult to believe Oliver and Felicity willingly letting William go, even though I understand the kid’s frustration and anger. 

Oliver is right. William can’t call his grandparents for back up anytime he’s mad at his parents. But by letting him move to his grandparents, Oliver and Felicity are just reinforcing this behavior! The Queen family needs to learn to fight without someone packing up and moving.  

Perhaps, if we didn’t have the flash forwards we would see Oliver, Felicity and William work through this, but the writers want some distance between the three to sell the future storyline. I’m still not even sure this is the “abandonment” William is still bitching about 20 years from now, because guess what son? You left Oliver and Felicity! Not the other way around. It still boggles my mind Oliver and Felicity would allow this given how hard they fought to reunite their family this season.  

It seems a little ridiculous to me William peaces out after his dad is released from prison or Felicity being so willing to let him go.  William’s present day storyline feels slapped together with tape and glue. It flies in the face of everything this family established in Season 6 for the sake of the flash forwards. I’m having a very difficult time buying any kind of separation between William, Oliver and Felicity no matter how ticked off this kid is.

Of course, as William is walking out the door Felicity finds out she’s pregnant with his sister. I have no idea why William doesn’t know about Mia. I don’t think Oliver and Felicity said goodbye to him forever in “Star City Slayer” so there’s a lot of plot holes needing to be filled. I can’t even venture a guess and I really don’t want to. There’s too much information we don’t have and it feels like a fruitless endeavor. My plan is to wait and watch.

Curtis Holt

The Olicity baby wasn’t the only thing on my Christmas Wish List! Beth booted Curtis Holt off my show too !!!!!!!! YAHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Honestly, I felt a little bad for Echo because this was the least important development in the episode. The Olicity baby bomb blew him out of the water.

No, it doesn’t bother me he isn’t dead. I’m perfectly fine with Arrow shipping Curtis off to Washington D.C. for his dream job. I didn’t need him dead. I needed him GONE.

At first, I wasn’t quite sure what route Arrow was going. He tells Diggle about the job in DC but then John, who is determined to piss me off at every turn this season, offers Curtis a bigger job at ARGUS. 

He’ll be in charge of their science division because what would we do without Curtis! HE IS SO VITAL. 

Dammit Diggle! You had one job! JUST LET HIM GO.

Curtis goes out into the field with the team to hunt the Star City Slayer and I felt certain we were headed into L*urel L*nce territory. She decided to suit up “one last time” before taking her DA job and then BAM! Arrow right to the gut.

Amazingly, Curtis makes it out relatively unscathed and he even saves Dinah’s life with one of his T-spheres. I think. I didn’t really care other than he wasn’t dead. I was too busy thinking, “Shit he better not take John up on the ARGUS job.” 

But I was prepared folks. As long as I got an Olicity baby I was prepared to deal with whatever other disappointments came my way.

But NOPE! Beth decided to be Santa Claus and give me allllllllll my goodies.

Curtis decides to take the job in DC. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The minute Curtis said it I went online to buy him 15 plane tickets – one for him and his 14 PhDs.

Of course, he gives full ownership of Helix back to Felicity. 

See this is why he needs to go. He acted so magnanimous - like it was his to give. Curtis gives Felicity some pompous talk about finding her purpose. OMG THIS GUY IS TOO MUCH. IT WAS HER COMPANY AND YOU ROAD ON HER COATTAILS. MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE HER “PURPOSE” BY NOW IF THE WRITERS WEREN’T CONSTANTLY SIDE LINING FELICITY TO GIVE YOUR USELESS ASS SOMETHING TO DO. Ugh. Is the plane here yet? I’m so done with this douche.

Anyways, what matters is Curtis Holt is GONE!!!!!!! 

And it looks like we’re full steam ahead on Smoak Technologies. 

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

I don’t know why Arrow continually compartmentalizes Felicity. It seems to me she could be deputized and work with Team Arrow as Overwatch while creating Smoak Tech. Maybe that will happen, but for now it seems only one activity at the time. But at least her storyline won’t be stripped and ransacked to serve Curtis Fucking Holt anymore. WE CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED FANDOM. ALL MY PRAISE TO JESUS AND BETH SCHWARTZ.

Stan the Fan

Last, but certainly not least, “Star City Slayer” finally delivers a villain worth watching. Stan the Fan is back and is more creepy, diabolical and terrifying in one episode than Diaz was for a year and a half! 

Brendan Fletcher is a genius and the smartest move Arrow made was not killing him off at the end of the episode. WE WANT MORE STAN!

The back story even made sense. WILL WONDERS EVER CEASE? 

Stanley was abused and tortured by his parents until he finally killed them. Stanley’s older brother, who always tried to protect him, was horrified when he found out.  So, Stanley killed him too. Now he seeks out older brother types to look up to and endear himself to. Stanley tries to protect his new “big brother” just like his brother did for him. He kills anyone he believes are bad for the person he admires – friends and enemies alike.

Okaaaaay. My man Stan has some legit issues. 

Oliver: My teammates would never hurt you.

Stan: But they’re still bad for you!  Worse even because they don’t understand you.

Soooo… not for nothin’ but I found myself nodding along with Stan the Fan. 

He was making many of the same arguments many of us have made about the Newbies. 

Is Stanley wrong? Are we wrong? HELL NO THEY ARE THE WORST! Is it a little worrisome I’m agreeing with the psychopath? Well sure, but I think it’s find to agree with crazy people when they make sense.  Did Stan back into the right opinion via Insanity Street? Sure, but facts are facts no matter what route you choose.

I also completely understood his desire to hang out with the Queen family and make a new team just the four of them. I’ve had that dream myself. 

But let’s be clear - I’m not a crazy fan like Stan. I AM COMPLETELY RELAXED ABOUT OLIVER QUEEN!!!

Slicing Dinah’s throat was a step too far over the line though Stan my man. 

Source: arrowdaily

I just want her to take a job in Central City like Curtis moved to DC and bring Rene with her. Relocation would have been fine. You didn’t have to fricassee her vocal chords, bro.

I think the scariest movies are when you are physically restrained from defending yourself in any way. You can’t move or scream. The scariest Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode is “Hush” and it remains one of the most terrifying hours of television I’ve ever seen. I’m still traumatized.

Obviously, Oliver can take Stan the Fan in a blink of an eye so the paralyzing drug really shifted the power dynamic. It made Stan a real threat not only to Oliver, but his whole family. 

Source:  plotbunnyshipper

It’s completely unnerving to listen to a powerless Oliver Queen trying to reason with Froot Loops. Stephen Amell always does such a great job with making his voice melodic like Oliver is trying to lull Stanley into submission.

But you can’t fix crazy Oliver! I love how the Queen family worked together to stop him. William slides the bottle, 

Felicity pisses Stanley off to get him to attack her, 

and Oliver takes him out in one shot. BAM! 

That’s how we do! It’s gonna be so great when all four members of the Queen family are reunited, kicking ass, taking names and saving the city together.

Stray Thoughts

Wait. So Bl*ck S*ren isn’t even IN the episode where Mia’s parentage is revealed. HAHAHAHAHA. Obviously, KC was on her honeymoon and that’s lovely, but it never ceases to amaze me how wrong her fans are. Just when I think they’ve hit a new low they reset the whole scale by digging even deeper into the Pit of Wrongness. Am I being petty? YA DAMN RIGHT I AM.

Ben Lewis’ scream when Dinah shoves William off the platform made me laugh until I cried.

Roy’s parkour made its triumphant return!

When my parents asked me to unpack the groceries it wasn’t a request I could refuse. My parents are lovely people, but next to Oliver they look like the Gestapo! Someone in the Arrow writer’s room needs to take a parenting class.

Felicity’s apartment security system is great and everything, but can’t she install a camera or something so they can see who the unidentified persons are? It’s called The Ring. Quite handy.

Loved the pink. Felicity was checking off all her signature colors. Source:  lucyyh

Dinah lost her Canary Cry. Since she was having trouble dealing with being an outed meta it’ll be interesting to see what her reaction is. She doesn’t need to be a meta human to be part of Team Arrow. Although, I think this gives Team Arrow more of a reason to occasionally reach out to Bl*ck S*ren. 

This was such a mom moment. Source: EBETT

This was such a dad moment. Source:  olivergifs

Followed by another mom moment.  Source:  olivergifs

The woman loves her man and his chili. Source: feilcityqueen

This is the zenith of my shipper life. I have reached the top of Everest. Time to take stock of my OTP journey.

One taught me patience

One taught me pain

One taught me love

Thanks to @callistawolf for the review title!

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x13 gifs credited.

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[honestsycrets]

Irreplaceable PX: A Curse

See my masterlist for the rest of the series.

A/N: Gif by thenorsequeen. I’m honestly trying to be quick about the prologue-- It’s fighting me. Expect Sverri in the next chapter or two.

With Kitta out of commission, Ivar seemed to have a lot of questions as of late. A lot of very good, prudent questions. He asked you why you were spending so much time with Hvitserk. Why Hvitserk had to be in your rooms late at night even if Ragnhild was there to see– or in the dewy and cold mornings, why was he shirtless? Often spending the nights caring for Kitta, he knew what this was.

It was a game.

“Does he really think we’re fucking?” Hvitserk reclines onto your bed.

One of his muscular arms slips underneath your shoulders. You snuggle into your friend’s arm while Hvitserk draws triangles in the shape of Valknut along the outside of your arm. A tickling reminder of your father’s drawn flags every time his boat came over the steady horizon.

“Like rabbits.” You answer. The only question you had was… if he thought that, why hadn’t he come barging in to explode at Hvitserk? Maybe he was scared for his little Kitta. She was in a bizarre state, between this world and the next. While caring for her with the thralls you learned she was cognizant of what was going on and yet, she could not do anything for herself. It was as if someone pricked her with a Sefnthorn, if only she was asleep.

“Do you want to fuc-” Hvitserk’s words fall dead on his lips. You look up to his lips, then away only to find Ivar standing at the foot of your marital bed bed. His hand is tense on the axe of his belt, a grip tighter than iron on the crutch supporting him. Ivar slides his axe out of his belt and into his hand. He bounces it, spinning and twirling, with his eyes intent on his brother like a hunter after its cornered prey.

“Get out of my bed.” Ivar flicks his thumb towards the door. Hvitserk doesn’t need another warning. He slips out from behind the sheets with trousers still in place. No proof that he was naked in bed with you. Hvitserk sweeps up his overtunic from the floor and sets out for another area of this vast hall. The twirling of Ivar’s axe stops as his eyes prowl after his brother, watching as he retreats from the room.

Then he looks at you.

“You promised you wouldn’t fuck him.” Ivar whispers deftly low. You recall the promise– the one you made prior to them leaving for the glittering lights in the sky. Ivar drags himself onto the bed.

“What are you talking about, husband?” You ask as Ivar drags himself across the bed. He boxes you in underneath his body, dropping onto his forearms to keep you properly contained. His hips grind against yours, the firmness of his growing arousal more evident with every movement against you. You assume it to be out of his usual rage-- to have had Hvitserk shoving himself in on something he deemed his.

“Don’t lie to me! How many times have I caught him in here?” He’s raving now, his tongue sputtering spittle so quickly that you could barely keep up. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Does he fuck you better? Or do you just like small dicks?”

It’s the gratification you want and need. Kitta may have gotten to see the beautiful colours of the sky (or maybe she hadn’t) and you? You had your husband all to yourself while she got better. What better use of it than to make Ivar see red? You gasp when one of his hands drops down underneath your dress, prying your thighs apart. He prods your entrance with dry fingers as if looking for evidence of his brother’s love.

There is nothing but your warm slick, aching at the sound of his jealous rage.

“No. But he does look like he could eat pussy better than you, don’t you think?” You ask.

“You fucking bitch.” Ivar smacks your ass with a hard, rippling slap. The hot sting causes you to cry out. Then he pulls your nightgown up over your breasts, begrudgingly setting kisses down your sternum, over the dip in your belly to your pubic mound. Each kiss could have been affectionate, slow and caring. But it’s tainted by his knowledge that Hvitserk could have been there. He gathers himself between your legs– and you know.

This was probably a mistake.

“You want to be eaten out? Fine.” Ivar growls, pressing his mouth against your inner thighs. Two gentle kisses and a mean bite that more than stings leads Ivar’s mouth over your cunt. He sucks your lips then slides his slick tongue between your lips. You pull your dress the rest of the way off as Ivar’s mouth shifts, gliding his tongue along one of your labia before the other. You rest your hands atop of his braids, petting him with a sigh.

“I told you.” You say just to jar him.

Ivar’s hands slam over your hips, bruising tugs of your body yanking you back towards him. Your hands cement into the furs while gives you a broad lick up to your clit, encircling it in a curl of his tongue. His tongue caresses just above the nub in a mean tease, gaining your whines until his tongue flickers down towards your clitoris. Your hips would stutter, grinding up against his face when he buries his face into your cunt, nudging you with his nose. You try your best to push him in– and he responds with a dangerous growl that reverberates against your slick cunt.

“Ivar.” You gasp. One of his hands shifts, rubbing against your lips in almost a tease. His fingers slip along the outside of your pussy, coating in your excitement and as the anticipation built– you cry out. “Please!”

He makes you wait, wrapping his lips around your clit to suck you, flicking his tongue just so occasionally that it has you whining for a little more– which he grants when his fingers slide into your cunt. His fingertips curl, stroking the upper wall and listening as you make beautiful cries for him. His slow thrusts quicken with every shake and thrust of your hips against his face for more and more, filling you now with his fingers completely. Your breathing hardens, choking out spasms of cries spilling forth and you run rigid, gasping as your orgasm overcame you. He knew as much, keeping his attention completely on your body as you ride out your orgasm over his face. As much as you try to buck him off, he makes you stay on his face throughout the orgasm. Calming licks across your labia calm you down while his hands shift up the round of your hips, then back down.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

Your cunt is aching hot by all of the attention Ivar was giving you. It was just too much. Anytime Hvitserk so much as looked in your direction, you knew it was going to be trouble. Perhaps– you wanted to tell him that you hadn’t fucked around on him. You were a good wife! But… between Kitta’s illness and his obsessive qualities, you start to like offering your ass up to him.

Even if you looked ridiculous walking. Hvitserk laughs as you waddle over, taking his hand to sit besides him on the bench of a table. Hvitserk looks you over once before bursting into a deep laughter. Your neck is battered red and purple by the love he gave you.

“He fuck you?” Hvitserk chides, flipping a thin slice of chicken in his fingers. As he ate it up, you lean into him, eyes blown wide.

“Did he fuck me?” You repeat. “Fuck you, Hvitserk. He hasn’t let me off his dick. I can’t walk.”

Hvitserk grins cheekily, loving the effect he has on your relationship with his brother. Its a tease to know that his younger brother honestly thought you were fucking him. Though he might not have complained about doing so– he hadn’t. Your name off of Ivar’s lips disrupts any peace you could have had.

“Ahhh. Why?” You groan, sliding out and stepping up to the stairs to your husband. The furs are soft under your toes, tipped with milky and dirt brown fibers.

“Yes?” You ask.

“Sit with me.” Ivar motions you to sit. You look between Kitta’s seat made for a queen… etched with beautiful hands. Your own seat was nothing of the sort… in fact, you warmed the stairs. The thought crosses you but if Kitta died, would you have hers? You curse yourself for thinking like that. Then you go to sit beside him when he lurches out to pull you in his lap.

“Ooh! Ivar what are you doing!?” You protest, finding that Ivar’s arms pull you in tight.

“On me.” He whispers against your neck. Lightly, his hips glide up against yours in what you deem is all a show. You glance over to find Hvitserk grinning dumbly at you, sliding his arm over little Uxi’s shoulders. You returned that dumb smile with one of your own. There was no doubt about it: he was sooo jealous.

When Ivar finally finished with you that night, you weren’t sure how you hadn’t fallen to sleep immediately. But there is something on your mind– just as Ivar had something on his mind too. You can tell easily by the knit of his jaw and eyebrows, that dumb little face seemingly in awe.

“What is wrong, husband?” You shift over to Ivar’s chest.

“I am thinking of killing Kitta.” Ivar glances over to you.

You know she isn’t getting better. It has been weeks since they have come home, if not months. Her state continues to worsen from acknowledging people that come in with her eyes to simply staring at the ceiling. This is no life for a Queen. But… no.

“You can’t kill her!” You lurch over his chest, straddling him.The coolness of his seed smearing against his weak legs.

“You can’t tell me what to do with my wife. She is suffering.” Ivar sighs, glancing back to you. It’s almost a relief that you draw complaints, reminding him that no, you see reason to keep fighting for her as well. But why? For all of Kitta’s hateful words, rude touches and spite, you fight for her life.

“I… let me bless her with a volva.” You suggest. “If the gods do not heal her, you may kill her.”

“Why do you care so much?” Ivar asks. “Should you not be glad to have me to yourself?”

He is reminded of your harsh words months ago– you hated the woman he made you. Now, Kattegat buzzed with news of the hateful woman who would cause the death of her rival? Or did you mean Kitta’s bitterness and anger that consumed you from that one cheerful, sweet girl you were.

“Because… it is my fault.” You say. “I cursed her and the gods listened to my cries. I am not a woman to kill another out of jealousy or spite.”

Ivar lay his head back. So you weren’t.

You're not that girl-- you're not a murderer. You don’t want to be around Kitta after you beat her face in. But…You had the thralls carry her body out by the fire that full moon night, glittering above your eyes as you turn to her. Your face painted with dark kohl and dripping dots down to your powdery white jawline. Ivar sits with the hood to his cowl over your head as the volva stands in line with you. A sacrifice had occurred– and you lower your face after the volva sprinkled bits of blood onto your face. Standing beside you, Hvitserk's hands lay limply over the pommel of his sword.

“Are you sure about this?” Hvitserk asks you. You slide by Kitta, combing away her pallid blonde hair from her eyes The volva turns to receive her staff as you mash together a variety of herb and rock in a pestle– your work and forgiveness manifesting over her. You have to forgive her for this to work. Such was your bitterness that you found even that difficult.

“I’m not the woman he’s made me.” You whisper to him. “I couldn’t kill her this way.”

As the volva kneels beside you, you offer out your hand willingly to her. She glances over your arm, pinpointing the right area to draw blood for the offering toward the gods.

“Princess (Y/N), do you give your blood willingly to this woman– your sister wife, who has wronged you in the eyes of Frigg?” She asks.

“I do.” You say, wincing as the blade slices through your arm.

“And in the eye of Skadi, whose wrath you elicited over your sister wife?” She asks. You hope with all you could that it would work but the wish for ill repute when she asked of Loki and Skadi? It felt like a stain over your heart. You try your best to answer yes.

“And of Freyja, whose seidr we use to heal this woman?” She asks.

“As a daughter of Freyja, I beg.” You answer, another slice leaving blood dripping down your arm to your elbow.

Forgiveness. The mash of blood and herb, magic and hope spill over Kitta’s lips. You only hope that it would work.

Two years had passed.

You lead Kitta with hands on hers, the scars seeming fresh as the day they were drawn on your forearms while you leading her to through the marketplace. She was slow: shamefully slow really.

“Can we go back to the hall? My body… it hurts.” Kitta asks. You give a grunt in acknowledgement as you take her back to the hall– where no surprise, Ivar leans up in his seat when Kitta came in. The two years proved difficult. Your husband spent much of his time with Kitta, who was not without her pain.

“Thank you… (Y/N).” She says as you walk her up to her throne, kneeling with a fruit against her lips. Even all this time later, its bizarre enough for Ivar to see you both interacting like this. He hadn’t seen it since the beginning of the relationship. His wives have gone from teeth against teeth to this– quiet. Kitta lead her hands up to the fruit, palming it for the right grip to hold. You force your hand over hers to help her.

“I cannot do anything anymore.” Kitta complains. “I need your help for everything– the gods are laughing at me.”

“It is better than dead. We can go to Uppsala and make a blot for your health. The boys would be happy.” You interrupt.

“You should have left me for dead. I know you do not want to care for me.” She says. Of course you didn’t want this position. But… if you let her die, you would be giving in to the woman that you didn’t want to be. Ivar reflects on that same notion, watching as you feed Kitta of a plate and recline her feet onto a stool. You say nothing. Then just like that, you are off looking for a doddling toddler and a small child.

“Why did you have her save me?” Kitta drops her head back against her throne.

Ivar’s hands curl against the arms of his chair. “I didn’t.” He says. “She wanted to ‘try’ to bless you.”

“After she tried to kill me.” Kitta says. The words aren’t laced with her usual blind rage or raving disrepair. Moreover they have the bored lull of a boat, on water. The words only seem to bob in confusion. Why would you save her if she tried to humiliate you? In front of Ivar? In front of the public?

Ivar’s eyes slide over toward Kitta. “What is it Kitta? You have been quiet.”

Kitta gazes out toward the empty doorway leading out of the Great Hall. Little Veifnr doddles by, squealing when you snap him up and toss him just slightly. Hvitserk sweeps in to take Veifnr from you. As you both move away from the doorway, she can hear your argument with Hvitserk.

How could you toss him? What if he fell? He was not going to fall Hvitserk. But you don’t know that.

Kitta glints a smile, raising her hands that felt heavy as the head of an axe to rub her sore smile. Little Uxi breaks apart from you after a few moments of excitement, barreling up the stairs and climbing his second mother like a tree. Ivar barks at Uxi, but the small boy only sits on Kitta like a proper child.

“I don’t want our children to see us fight like this.” Kitta’s hand drops heavily onto the arm of her chair, the other lazily holding him in place. “She’s proven herself dangerous.”

Were all those words– a test? The way you snapped at her that night even before giving birth, calling you a bad mother and second best? You had not only beat her, but cursed her into crippling sickness and by that, one might have said you tried to kill her.

“I need you more days, Ivar.” Kitta sounds resolute. “Four or five.”

“My sons need me more than you.” Ivar turns his eyes over to her then to his son on her lap. Kitta raises a weak hand to stroke over his hair, reddish brown like Ivar’s mother’s own. Bitter– he sounded bitter about the whole thing.

“I don’t want to make our family miserable out of jealousy. I will if you make me.” She spits out. The constant pull of Ivar’s love that leaves him into your arms most of the days you were pregnant, the way she saw his gloved hands caress your stomach and burn kisses against the taut, round skin… it was agonizing. Ivar loved you. Likely more than she– and the way she saw it, she could lose him. She only has the benefit of Ivar not rushing to defend you when you fought with her… perhaps, perhaps she could manipulate it.

A sigh. “I will give you precedence.”

@igetcarriedawaywithyou , @kylobien , @titty-teetee , @breathlessouls , @nejijjeoroo , @bcat1291 , @readsalot73 , @mslothbrok (no mix), @romanchronicles, @ateliefloresdaprimavera , @ailucascen , @michaeliskindahot , @ilovemyangelforever, @directionlessbuthappy , @hizz-hizz-mothertruckerz , @some-blondes-unicorn , @atequila, @rekdreams247 , @ivarswonderlust , @writingeverynowand-then , @hp-hogwartsexpress , @minarawr , @haliannej, @strangunddurm , @cbouvier23 , @peachesnpisces , @elenawrit , @Equalstrashflavoredtrash, @roxxck , @ilvebeenabad , @vikingsmania , @the-geeky-engineer , @huntingbears , @my-little-wolfe , @mitchiri-nek0 , @seize-the-droid , @Certifiedpoison, @hotshotstar , @a-writers-dreams , @quaint-and-curious-being, @ivarthotbrok ,  @mitchiri-nek0 , @salimahbicharara-comun, @captstefanbrandt, @kickbacksnextdoor , @alicedopey , @imagine-this-motherfucker, @zoetrope1997 , @kingniazx , @lost-and-wandering-alone , @amandaseibaek , @queenmissfit  , @calaena-banrion , @memememememe1-blog , @lost-and-wandering-alone , @rubyquartzshades   , @naaladareia, @lisinfleur , @abwrites, @zueserra, @mintandfigs, @Mimi334545, @AzmentineDaWinters

[earwaxinggibbous]

Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2018

As I geared up to make the list of hits for 2018, I was prepared for difficulty, and I wasn’t wrong. Hence why there are a few little cheats here and there. Really anything that even had the potential to be a hit got on this list because the Hot 100 was fucking barren and I figure I’d rather give some exposure to some good artists that didn’t get what they deserved.

I do discuss alcohol/drug use briefly in my number 9 + 6 and abuse in my number 4. Let’s get this shit on the road.

10. Mine - Bazzi

This song is dumb. And I love it.

Mine by Bazzi, who no doubt will not show up on the charts next year, is a song that all of you know even if you think you don’t, because it’s the one with the memes.

You so! Fuckin! Precious! When you! Smiiiiile!

Yeah, it’s that one.

There’s not much to say about this one. It’s a quick and easy listen at only a little over 2 minutes. Bazzi has a nice enough voice, and the production manages to stand on its own. Honestly the reason it’s here is because the lyrics are adorable.

It feels very teenage, but not in the obnoxious way that Lucid Dreams is. It’s just very innocent despite the second line being about hitting it from the back. It’s a kind of innocence I can enjoy mostly unironically.

Like, whatever man. Just enjoy life.

9. Betrayed - Lil Xan

So I wasn’t actually sure when this song charted. I believe it was either late 2017 or early 2018, possibly with some crossover, but I’m counting it because I love this song so much.

Betrayed actually shares a lot of similarities with Juice WRLD’s Lucid Dreams. They were both towards the bottom on each respective list, they both have videos made by Cole Bennet, and they both have a sneaky anti-drug message.

Ironic considering his name is Lil Xan. Also I lied it’s not very sneaky at all. Which is good, if you’re gonna be anti-drug then just fucking do it. The beat is chill, the bars are chill, it’s all super chill. That’s probably in part due to the fact that Lil Xan has a super calming voice. This is weed music. Like Car Seat Headrest. And good weed music can be enjoyed when you’re sober, which Betrayed can be because it just sounds nice.

A good chunk of Betrayed is about the pitfalls of the rap game, and how suddenly everyone turns on you and wants your money, which is kind of neurotic but not entirely inaccurate.

This was actually the plot of a Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake song called Holy Grail from a few years back. And I hate to say it but this song does it way better, because it’s not trying to make fame out to be some horrible demon priestess who’s sucking your soul out of your ass, but rather, more of a lifestyle with very different complications.

Which is what it is.

So Jay-Z got outdone by a 12-year-old with face tats named Lil Xan, and if I heard about that my ego would be deeply, deeply bruised.

The only reason it isn’t higher is because, uh.

Oof, Lil Xan. Come on now.

8. King’s Dead - Jay Rock ft. Kendrick Lamar, Future and James Blake

So a lot of people actually didn’t like this song. Which... I kind of get.

Also apparently this was on the Black Panther soundtrack. I never saw that movie, but a lot of the lyrics on this, at least according to lyric genius, relate to that movie. Which I guess is why I have no clue what it’s about other than the average rap music cliches. The only thing I knew about King’s Dead for god knows how long was this gif of Kendrick eating corn in a palm tree.

I feel like the best argument against this song (other than Future’s high-pitched sampling of Slob On My Knob that made me lose my shit) is that there’s nothing really special about it. I mean yeah, Kendrick has a voice that’s smooth like butter, but King’s Dead has a generic beat and bars that just don’t stand out.

But I don’t know. I just love it.

This is just a nice fun song to chill out to. I can put it on, throw myself into bed, and let the cares of the day shloff off of my body as Kendrick whispers to me in the language of the ancient ones. This is nowhere near his best work, not even remotely close to it. All it is is nice and small and easy to listen to without being completely boring.

Maybe I also just like it because it’s been forever since a rap song really sounded like one. This is partially the fault of Future, who is on this song, and doing the same shit he usually does, but at least the rest of the song sounds like words. It feels like it’s been a whole decade since rap music wasn’t just an autotuned jumble, and while I’m easier on mumble-rap than most, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss good old fashioned regular rap.

Regardless of whether it’s blind nostalgia or some level of actual quality, I enjoy King’s Dead for what it is. It may just be a rock and not a diamond, but it’s my rock and I love it.

7. In My Blood - Shawn Mendes

So like, what the fuck happened with Shawn Mendes? He just kind of got really good all of a sudden. Like when every genre, every artist, every newcomer and every single is shitting the bed, it’s Shawn Mendes of all people to bring it home. That’s like if Charlie Puth turned out to be the savior of music. It’s like if Chingy developed into a rap legend. And this song, In My Blood, is about something we all wanna do! Giving up.

Okay, so that’s not exactly what it’s about. It’s about the feeling of wanting to give up, but refusing to, in a very chronological way. With the verses representing the low points and the chorus representing the swell of energy that forces one to get back on their feet. It’s an incredibly well put-together song where Shawn’s voice is actually put to good use instead of him gargling pus like he did on Treat You Better. I’d be lying if I said he didn’t emote wonderfully on this.

I haven’t heard any of the other singles he’s released around this song, but I’m definitely interested in doing so because In My Blood is an experience, kind of in the same way that like, a really good Panic! at the Disco song is. It just punches you repeatedly. You ever been punched by a song? It feels great. I wish more songs would punch me.

In a lot of ways In My Blood is also nostalgic for me, since it brings me back to an era where I actually got excited about pop music because it was important to me some-fucking-how. And I don’t mean like, I was interested in pop like I am right now. When I was littler my parents basically raised me on old alternative music and jazz, and while I definitely enjoyed it I had literally no idea what other kids at school listened to. The first pop song I remember hearing was Pokerface by Lady GaGa, I was on the school bus, and it sounded like nothing I’d ever heard before. Over time my sister began playing the radio so that her friends at her new school would stop goofing on her for not knowing any pop artists, and hearing all this new music was kind of an experience. Of course after awhile we both moved into individualized tastes and neither of us really listen to the radio unless it’s during the holidays, but hearing In My Blood somehow reminds me of a time when being a hit actually meant something.

It’s a song where you put it on and it just owns the room despite its minimalism, and with tons of easy listening alt-crap hitting the stations nowadays, it’s nice, albeit surreal, to know that Shawn Mendes is the one who gives a shit.

6. Genius - LSD

In case you didn’t know, LSD is the combined efforts of rapper Labrinth, singer Sia and producer Diplo. I hadn’t actually heard of this group until pretty recently, and I wish I had because if you know me, you know about my wretched obsession with Sia. Maybe I’m too forgiving, but I can’t remember a single bad track she’s put out. And Genius is no exception.

Lyrically this song’s a bit lacking, despite the title. But soundwise it sticks like gum, with a layered production. I always say that they should have Sia work with one of these sing-rappers, so having it finally happen is proof that god might be listening to me.

It’s like bubblegum for your brain, it’s sweet, it tastes good, it’s fun and it sticks. Even after only one listen I couldn’t get the tune out of my head. And god knows I just want the charts to be fun for once. No, I don’t think this song charted, which is an absolute shame. LSD should absolutely have the star power to hit the top 100, but I guess this just wasn’t a good year for them.

Regardless, I have heard that LSD plans to do a full project, and after listening to the rest of their short album I am more than excited. The only reason this isn’t higher up is that, judging by the group name I was expecting it to be way more of an acid trip soundwise. It’s definitely hard to compare LSD’s Genius to any other type of pop in recent years, but I feel like that’s moreso because Diplo and company have taken all sorts of elements from all sorts of pop music and sneakily fused them together.

Regardless, Genius is a highly enjoyable listen. Sia’s at top performance as per usual, Labrinth sounds really nice beside her and Diplo’s production is solid. Also I seriously recommend the music video. It’s super weird. I wish animated music videos were more common with pop, to be honest.

5. Better Now - Post Malone

I almost feel like I’ve sinned putting a Post Malone song above a Kendrick Lamar song, but god do I love Better Now.

The Post Malone conversation is still very much underway, with a lot of people saying they hated Psycho because it was boring (which I can get even though I don’t agree) and that they hated Jackie Chan because it was just really really stupid. But, much like Candy Paint, I have yet to hear anyone say they dislike Better Now. And I do honestly believe that he hit it out of the park on this one.

This one’s sort of the reverse of Genius. It has pretty basic trap production, but really nice lyrics. Possibly building on the story from I Fall Apart, though with a slightly more mature outlook, Post talks about an ex-girlfriend who he misses, trying to drown his feelings in alcohol, drugs and expensive stuff in the wake of the relationship.

A total bummer, but Post sells it pretty well.

Like damn. That’s a detail right there.

I mean, I could argue that nobody has a specific drawer for socks they don’t like, but who cares really.

Anyway, unlike I Fall Apart, which was a turn-off for a lot of people because it felt spiteful and juvenile, Better Now doesn’t really place the blame on Post or his ex, which is a much more realistic scenario. Because really, his ex isn’t at fault for no longer being in love with him, but Post isn’t at fault for pining. He’s only human. Judging by the lyrics, the story is that Post was dumped for being a druggie in this song.

Though Lyric Genius also argues this is a reference to the death of Lil Peep, who was close personal friends with Post Malone in real life. If this song is somehow in a weird roundabout way an ode to Lil Peep, honestly it does feel like it’s a good send-up to him from another rapper. Like yeah, a love song might seem weird as a tribute to a dead friend, but it definitely does feel like a mournful, sad song about longing for a close person who’s gone for the long run.

Whether this is a tribute to Lil Peep or just a breakup song, it definitely carries the weight of the emotions, partly since Post just generally sounds sad all the time. And in a year full of pissy break-up songs, this is the one that hits home more than any other for me. If Post is going off of past experience, it shows, and if he isn’t he’s just a really good actor I guess.

4. Freaky Friday - Lil Dicky ft. Chris Brown

This song is the bane of my fucking existence.

Why do I laugh at this? Why do I laugh at jokes about Lil Dicky having a small penis still? Why am I losing my shit at the idea that a white guy in a black guy’s body would immediately wonder if he can say the n-word? Why am I, a grown man with presumably mature tastes, going ‘hee hee hoo hoo’ over the phrase “I’m DJ Khaled! Why am I yelling?” And why the fuck, in the year 2018, am I actively enjoying a Chris Brown song?

Lil Dicky I have a soft spot for. We’re both Jews, we’re both stupid, we both look dead inside in every photograph taken of us. We’re basically like long lost twin brothers. Plus I do think he’s a skilled rapper, with his greatest track easily being Professional Rapper featuring Snoop Dogg, and if it had been my choice, that song would’ve been his first big hit. But no, it had to be Freaky Friday. A song that, for all accounts and purposes, is about as funny as an early Your Favorite Martian song, and yet still makes me roll into a screaming fit laughing my ass off.

I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’m over the Chris Brown drama just because there’s plenty of worse artists charting right now. Forgetting it would be an offense to everyone involved. Do I think he’s probably matured since? Maybe. But that doesn’t excuse or explain away what he did. But for me to pretend I don’t enjoy this song would be disingenuous, and it breaks my heart to actually enjoy a Chris Brown song. In 20-fucking-18.

Everyone hates this song. And they’re valid, honestly. I just like the chorus, maybe? I don’t know. It’s hardly Lil Dicky’s best work, but fuck me. Of course I had to be the one suffering with the curse of enjoying Lil Dicky’s Freaky Friday to the point that I put it above a ton of songs that are probably objectively better, all because I laugh at dick jokes and love a catchy chorus.

But I will give it credit, this is the first popular comedy song in a long time I’ve been able to get down to. Selfie and What Does The Fox Say made me wanna scoop my eyes out with a melon baller, but of course the fucking Chris Brown comedy song makes me shriek in body-wracking laughter as if I’ve never heard a joke before.

It’s been at LEAST a year since I felt this shitty for enjoying a song, but that’s life I guess. Just enjoying bad music by bad people for bad reasons.

3. High Hopes - Panic! at the Disco

How is it that we’re having a Panic! at the Disco hit in 2018? Whatever, I’m not mad.

I mean, come on. A swelling Brendon Urie anthem about finally being able to achieve your dreams and shit? That’s really all I need on a bad day, isn’t it. Thanks 2018.

I don’t even remember if this song has good production or not. It’s really loud. Everything is loud. Do you think I care if it sounds good? I mean, Brendon sounds good, but like. Biz Markie’s Just A Friend fills me with emotion and it sounds like it’s being sung by a donkey. My standards are not high. Maybe I’d need higher standards to not like this song.

Frankly, I don’t care if the production is bad. Because this song is just good mood music, and I like that it’s loud. I want Brendon to scream in my ear about having high hopes. Do you think I care how it sounds?

No but really. It’s a perfectly well-built song, Brendon performs well on it. Bless this shit though. If there’s anything that represents hope in my mind, it’s Brendon Urie skittering up the side of a building while singing about having high hopes and his mama and whatever whatever. In a year full of dour break-up songs and people dying and abusers getting famous, all you can really have is high hopes. And that’s all there is to it.

2. Neva Lavd Yah! - Dusty Ray Bottoms

Can we all agree RuPaul’s Drag Race is kind of a hack show at this point? I mean, Season 10 was a disaster and so far AS4 has been a disaster too. I’m not even sure why I still watch it at this point.

Anyway, this is kind of a cheat. Neva Lavd Yah! charted on Billboard LGBT, and actually charted pretty high. Not the actual Hot 100, but do you think I care anymore?

So we’re all mad that rock music is dead, and that the only remnants we have of it is Imagine Dragons and other similar garbage. But don’t fret (unless it’s on a guitar) because Dusty Ray Bottoms, queen of my heart, is here to solve that problem. Full electric guitar and drums. No autotune. Just pure Dusty Ray on the track here to kick ass.

I guess Neva Lavd Yah! is a generic “fuck the haters” anthem, but for once I actually believe it. Maybe it’s because it’s being sung by a 50-foot-tall gay man with dots all over his face. Maybe it’s just because, with every drag queen doing techno music, Dusty Ray has done something completely different. God knows I was sick of every drag queen doing overproduced electronica about nothing at all.

Neva Lavd Yah! isn’t polished or clean. It’s screaming and loud and full of passion. Sometimes you’re just a 50-foot gay who wants to yell, sometimes you’re a 5-foot gay who wants to yell. Maybe you don’t feel like yelling right now, but you’ve probably been in that mood before. Neva Lavd Yah! is for when you wanna chill in a garage with an electric guitar and write songs and then scream with your shitty garage band and it’s the 90′s and you’re gay.

Damn right.

And before we move forward,

let’s hit those honorable mentions.

I Like It - Cardi B ft. Bad Bunny and J Balvin

This song really did almost get on the list, and I mean it was like a baby dick’s length away. I almost feel bad that I let Mine on instead. Cardi I am so sorry.

Nice For What - Drake

This was the only good song Drake released this year, and while Drake talking about “strong women” on the same album as I’m Upset seems like bullshit, I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t at least kind of a banger.

Now or Never - Blair St. Clair

This was the only other big drag queen hit I remember this year. It was released in the wake of Blair St. Clair coming out about a sexual assault, and while I do think it’s an empowering song, I don’t like the way it sounds that much.

Pray For Me - The Weeknd ft. Kendrick Lamar

How I liked King’s Dead more than this I can’t even explain to you. The beat on Pray For Me rocks my tight ass though. Plus let’s be honest, The Weeknd and Kendrick are a fucking dream team.

I Love It - Kanye West ft. Lil Pump

I can’t hate this. Fucking look at it. They’re in roblox costumes!

Famous Prophets (Stars) - Car Seat Headrest

Not a hit, which is the only thing that kept it off of here. Consider Song of the Summer by Remo Drive, Humanity by Gorillaz and When You Die by MGMT also in this spot.

On to number one, and if you know me you probably know it already.

1. Kamikaze - Eminem

Listen. I don’t care if this didn’t chart. I don’t care if it didn’t get close. I don’t give two fifths of a fuck if Eminem isn’t as good as he used to be. I don’t give a single rat’s ass.

Because I fucking love Kamikaze.

(The song.)

The album was fine, I wasn’t huge on the whole “call out everyone” angle it took. Sure sometimes it landed, but other times, like with the Tyler the Creator diss, it was completely pointless and kind of petty.

But the title song? It bangs.

The lyrics are good, obviously, it’s an Eminem song and he hasn’t been struggling with lyrics since... Revival I guess. The production on Kamikaze is interesting, the chorus is catchy. I just love it. It puts me in a good mood for reasons I cannot explain using words of the English language.

Maybe I just love Eminem too much. But in a year of stolid depression like 2018, all I wanted was for my favorite rapper Eminem to say “fuck” and yell a lot and just be kind of motivational in his weird way. And he did it. And I understand if people don’t enjoy Kamikaze (the song or the album) but I just can’t not love it, it makes me so excited every time I hear that intro. I feel like a child almost.

I saw Eminem live for the first time this year at Governor’s Ball. It was an experience. My feet were killing me because to get good spots, my sister and I had to sit through Chvrches. (Didn’t like them very much.) It was loud and crowded. It started raining, I was cold as shit and tired and this enormous drunk guy in a wifebeater nearly elbowed my head clean off of my shoulders just due to a lack of spacial awareness. And I didn’t even give a shit until it was over.

The music ended, and I realized I was freezing my ass off. And that’s what good music does to a guy I guess. And being able to download a new, really good Eminem song was like capturing that moment in a bottle. A bottle of white boy spite, but a good bottle nonetheless.

Of course I’m biased. God knows if this song is actually better than something like In My Blood or Genius, but I love this song too much to put it any lower than number one.

Whenever I need motivation or I’m just really pissed, this song is here for me to listen to, so I can lose my shit by the side of a man who I’ve literally begun referring to as my dad at this point. And that’s just what I want. A song that I can feel next to. A song that can feel with me. And as good as some of these other songs are, I don’t feel with them like I do with Kamikaze.

See you next year, I guess.

[notalwaysontime]

Video Bootleg Guide

This is everything you need to know about The Release of new Video Boots, both before and after you get them, and information about how it all goes down for those who are confused about it, thus making them get very upset when a new one comes out and they can’t get it. A little understanding goes a long way.

I Apologize in advance for the length of this, but I wanted to include explanations not just dos and don’ts, because I know when I understand WHY, I’m more likely to remember and comply.

There’s been a lot of issues about the releases of new video bootlegs lately. And almost all the issues stem from people who jump into it without actually knowing or taking the time to find out how the whole process works. Beyond NFT Date confusion and the reason you buy it in the first place, which gets talked about endlessly, There are more things that come up that people don’t seem to realize it’s not ok to do, or could be damaging, also how to go about actually buying the bootlegs so here’s everything you need to know.

One thing to remember about this is that IT. IS. NOT. LEGAL. This is not an activity that should be splashed around all over the place. You really should not be openly advertising and shouting it from the rooftops. There should not be a hundred posts in a show’s tag saying things like “THERE”S A NEW _______ BOOTLEG OMG SOMEONE GET IT! WHO”S THE MASTER? WHERE DO I GET IT??????” Like a little subtly guys, seriously, keep this shit on the down low. You all really suck at treating this for what it is. If you’re gonna buy drugs, you’re not gonna yell out on the street “YO! THIS GUY HAS WEED COME BUY IT FROM HIM OVER HERE.” Or “EVERYONE LOOK I HAVE WEED, WHO WANTS SOME!?” A little discretion goes a long way, and understand that if you have none, you’re less likely to actually get answers from people when you have questions because the people who know what’s up won’t feel like they can trust you. I understand excitment. BE EXCITED! Just don’t throw all that excitement up in public posts.

Bootleg Releases/Buying the Videos

* Most masters have a mailing list you can get on, but they also announce their releases elsewhere. Do not expect people to just tell you who they are out in the open though. We protect the masters AT ALL COSTS, and honestly, most of what follows here is for that very protection. They risk A LOT so we can have these videos, and in return, the least we can do is protect them as best we can. That means private messages/emails/etc, not public (and as mentioned above, if it seems clear that you have no desire to respect, don’t expect to actually be given the information.)

* One big no no that’s been happening more and more lately is releasing masters’ screen caps. In the initial releases, masters will provide you with screen caps so that you can judge the quality of the video for yourself, and decide if you want to buy it or not if the quality matters to you. (It doesn’t to me so I almost never look at them, but some people it does). These caps are NOT for you to post. Like stop doing that. Remember what I said about protecting the master at all costs? Posting these is the opposite of that. It draws attention to them and the fact that this video exists and since it’s a new release it’s a hell of a lot easier to find than say one that’s been out for years. Do NOT underestimate Tumblr’s reach. People in the business have been catching wise to its existence for a long time now. You know that little show doing it’s Pre-Broadway run in Denver? A TON of stuff on Tumblr has been flagged by the people in charge of that show and taken down by Tumblr for violation. INCLUDING THE SCREEN CAPS FROM THE BOOT THAT SOMEONE POSTED. You know what that means? It means they knew it existed within days of it being filmed. That is not good. So please, I know you want to share them, I know you’re excited, but do NOT post these screen caps, share them privately, but do not post them.

* Before you contact the master, read all the information in their release posts, if any of their minimal guidelines are ones you cannot comply with, don’t contact them, it’s that simple. Wait for the NFT Date at that point. If it’s a solvable problem, ask someone else for help, but do not bother them with this extra burden, they have enough to deal with. (Ex. One master makes it clear they only take bitcoin, so if you cannot pay that way, do not waste their time. Either that, or find someone who can help you learn how to, or figure out how to pay them that way BEFORE you send an email)

* Masters are not quick to respond. They just aren’t. They have a lot of people contacting them, a lot of information to keep straight (not to mention they have jobs and lives). Email them once. THEY WILL GET BACK TO YOU. It can take 1-2 weeks to get an initial response about payment information. And once payment is made it can take another 1-2 weeks to actually receive the video. I usually don’t expect to have the DVD or link in hand until a month after I send my initial email.

* Every master is quite clear about their payment information and how they want things done, the directions are simple, so follow them to make their lives easier, because again, they have a lot to keep track of.

* It’s been said to death, but the reason we pay is to help them cover the expensive costs of getting us bootlegs in the first place. Its the least we can do since they risk so much for us. (Costs include, but are not limited to, Airfare, hotels, tickets to the shows, and filming equipment too. I know that once in a while, they like to buy new cameras so that the quality we get is better. That shit is expensive. Notice how amazing some of the more recent boots are? That’s because they have great equipment, and people who actually bought their videos from these masters helped them get that equipment.) Everything you pay these people gets put right back out FOR YOU. They don’t just profit and put it in their pocket, they use it to get more and more videos. Helping them helps you.

********* One MAJOR don’t that I’ve seen on the rise lately, and rest assured, continuation of this practice WILL make masters just decide to stop releasing videos, is this growing trend of “well the video is $20, so if we get 10-20 of us together we’ll only have to pay $1-2!!” STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT. Literally this is the worst, it is just as bad as releasing the video before the NFT date (more info on that below), its disrespectful and just rude. You bought ONE copy. If you have 10-20 pitch in, only ONE of you gets the video until the NFT date which hey, if that’s how you want to do it, that’s no skin off my nose, but that’s not what happens. You buy ONE copy between 20 of you, and then 20 copies exist where only one should. If you don’t have the $20 yourself, THEN WAIT. One of the perks of helping the master out is that you get the video 3-4 months before anyone else. Pay your fair share and give them a hand. It’s an insult to the risks they take when you’re a cheap ass like that. Do you go to Starbucks a few times a week?  Skip a visit each week and put that money in a jar, or ask anyone if there’s odd jobs they need help with for $5. Save it up, then when a video is released that you are DYING to have, you’ll have the money to pay for it. If it means as much to you as some of you say, you can find a way to do it, $20 really isn’t that much, YOU CAN DO IT! And if you truly can’t, I promise the wait time between then and the NFT date isn’t so bad, especially when you factor in the fact that you’ll be waiting one of those months anyway, even if you buy, like I mentioned above.

Getting the Video

So, You’ve Received Your Video, now what? Well first off, ENJOY IT! Watch it, laugh, cry, flail, watch it again, die, etc! I mean that’s what they’re here for! But after that, there are still some rules that need to be followed.

* Screen Caps and gifs, see the above point about the masters’ screen caps. It’s just not a good idea, and you really should stop. I know you want to gif and show off and have your favorite moments on a loop, but remember, these are still super new, it’s dangerous to bring this kind of attention to them. (Say it with me kids: PROTECT THE MASTER AT ALL COSTS!) The newer a bootleg is, the more dangerous it is. Old bootlegs, even ones that are just a couple years old don’t draw as much attention, and are a lot harder to track down the origins of them, so gifs don’t hurt anything, but one where maybe only a handful of people own it? Well that’s not hard at all. A good rule of thumb is if the NFT Date has not passed, keep the video, in it’s entirety to yourself. Make gifs to your heart’s content, but save them for the day that date passes.

* One thing master’s make very clear is never to upload their videos, but it keeps happening, and it’s another issue causing trouble. (Once again for the people in the back: PROTECT THE MASTERS AT ALL COSTS) Youtube is the least stealthy site there is, EVERYONE is on youtube. My mom who can’t ever remember the web address for it is on youtube, and I don’t care what “clever” name you think you gave it, it’s not hidden. I accidentally found a TROVE of NFT videos uploaded to youtube within about 5 minutes of being on the site. I wasn’t even trying and they popped up in the sidebar of a video I was watching. They get found. There is a reason the master’s request this so STOP uploading them! If you want to share the video when the date passes, upload it to a site like mega or mediafire, make them download it, but stop making them publicly streamable. (Do not even get me started on the existence of stage dork, like seriously guys? That site is just irresponsible. Remember, ILLEGAL activity here.)

* Also, come on, use your heads, never post your upload link publicly. I cannot stress enough that this shit needs to be kept on the down low. (Audios are illegal too, yes, but they honestly aren’t as big a deal as the videos.)

* NFT (Not for Trade) Until Dates - These are the BIGGEST thing you need to adhere to. Making the video NFT Until a certain date give the master not only the ability to make a little money from the people who have to have it RIGHT NOW and can’t wait, to cover their enormous costs, but it also protects them (Ok, you know the motto by now.) It keeps the video private until usually around 6-9 months after it was initially filmed and also gives it some distance from them as the filmer. When it starts circulating widely at that point it’s old enough that it doesn’t feel like such an immediate threat. Now, while trade may be in the name, it goes beyond and implies (and masters also state) no gifting til that day either. If a master sells 20 copies of a video, only 20 should exist until that date.

* Twitter and instagram - Guys, NEVER. EVER. EVER. Tweet or tag or whatever a bootleg or a screen cap of a bootleg or a gif or video clip to an actor. Just don’t. MOST get pissed, most hate them. It’s just safer for EVERYONE that you don’t. (Never forget the time someone even just accidentally tweeted a clip to someone (I can’t remember who), but they didn’t know it was a bootleg and the person was cleary mad. So like don’t do it on purpose. Some won’t mind, but it’s not worth the risk, It’s a slippery slope, so just assume that if you do this, the wrath of Patti LuPone will come down on you like the fire of a thousand suns. It’s not safe for you.

Other Stuff

* If you decided to wait for the NFT Date to pass, have some patience. The amount of posts I saw downright DEMANDING, the Bandstand video the SECOND the NFT date passed was disgusting, especially since all the people making said posts were outright expecting people to just give them the video. If Someone has intentions to gift a newly available bootleg, they will. But being rude about it won’t get you anywhere, and it’ll just piss people off. Also understand that newly available videos, for most people, are not things they gift, because remember, they paid actual money for it, so they’d like to get a little return on their investment in the form of other shows. (This is how, for the record, I grew my collection to the size it is. A friend started me off with a generous amount of gifts and I thank god for her every day because I was new and desperate and I saw the promised land on her trading site. After that I started buying the new videos and when the dates passed, I had things people wanted, so I was able to trade them for the videos I wanted. Also for the new videos I decided I didn’t want to spend money on.) So what I’m saying is, be on the look out for someone hinting that they have it for gift but you can’t always expect that.

* I get just waiting for a gift of a video if you only want a couple show bootlegs, but for some of you, who say bootlegs are your life and all you have, but who are still expecting everything to be gifted to them, you should really look into, and consider trading. Your life will be a whole lot easier, and honestly its not that hard. Look for people who give gifts, email people with large sites politely with a few wants and ask if they mind helping a new guy out (hint: The older the requests, the more likely they will be to gift it, things that are 5 years or so old, I’m pretty much guaranteed to pass it along.) Things you get might be common, but not everyone has them. THere’s a lot of common videos I don’t have, and when someone is new, I will try my best to pick something I don’t have out from their list. I was new at a time too, people showed me kindness, so I pass it along. It took me  no time, and just a little effort to grow my list to the behemoth I have now and I’m a happy girl. Also, trade people for things you might not want, necessarily, because someone else who has something you want might just want that video you weren’t interested in. It works, trust me!

* Video bootlegs are not super common, most shows will only get one, MAYBE two. Anything beyond that is lucky. (Wicked is the anomaly, and to a slightly lesson degree, Legally Blonde) If a new video comes out you’ll know, but your wasting your time if you go around saying things like “Someone film _____ tonight Becasue ________” Filmers don’t take requests, deciding to go and film takes planning. They’ll film what shows they want when they want, and there’s only about 5 of them so don’t expect that it’ll happen on a whim, and really the odds that some random person will A) just decide to film the show and b) that they’ll do it well and not get caught if they do, are slim to none.

And ok, it’s nearly 830 am and I’ve yet to sleep, so I think that’s everything and remember kids be kind to one another.

Also if anyone has anything that they feel needs to be added, or that I did not touch on, message me or comment on the post and I’ll edit!

[baejacob]

Hello~ here's a fun challenge for you to try if you want! Talk as much as you want about anything you like! It can be about a problem that's been bugging you, about something you love, or other stuff like that. Hope it's fun♥ (love your blog btw)

hey babe!!!! thank you so much, i really appreciate everything about this omg ♡

since they are debuting and i’m an emotional wreck, i’m going to write about the boyz! i advise anyone reading this to skip over it LOL let me drown in my emotions and sentiment ok!!!!!! it’s long!!!!!

so the past week counting down to their debut, i’ve been anemotional wreck for a few reasons. one of those reasons is, you know…… life…….but more than anything, i’ve been thinking and crying about the fact thatfinally, they are debuting.

i’ve been a quiet supporter of ju haknyeon since thebeginning of pd101. he is the reason i gained interest and started watching inthe first place. i know many can relate—there is just something about that wonderful boy which draws you in. throughhaknyeon, i was able to find my other favs on that show, who i still all loveand support to this day. though it was heartbreaking then that he didn’t makeit to the final line-up after the show, it was through him yet again that i wasable to find the boyz (or crekerz as they were before but let’s pretend crekerwasn’t so questionable even back then too).

that brings me to now. as i lay here (tearing up again) i amrealizing that even i cannot comprehend how much i love them, all twelve ofthem. i can’t even begin to describe how special they are to me, and how dearthey are to my heart.

for a lack of better words, i’d like to admit one thing: ilove them beyond what i could ever utter to my own self in the mirror. i lovethem so much that i sometimes can’t remember how broken my being really is. ilove them so much that i often forget to hate myself.

since i was younger and as i grew up, i never really hadmuch to look forward to in my sad n lousy ass life lol. other than my faith andfamily (sometimes), i didn’t have much going for me. on top of that, as yearswent by my mental health and well-being seemed to be deteriorating. everythingwas bad and hard and getting worse! of course, i still struggle today, everysingle day. but this year what’s new is that i got to not only experience thelowest of the lows, but also somewhat of an escape or relief from… well,everything.

as corny and cheesy and whatever more you and i couldpossibly call it, the boyz became my happiness. that is what they are to meeven now.

people always say to not seek for happiness in other people.but when the concept of happiness is nowhere to be found within oneself,non-existent if i must, then what can you do? if someone needs a distractionfrom all the rage and sadness in their heart, why must you reject it if youfind that in somebody else? am i being naïve? possibly. don’t get me wrongthough, i do believe that everything is temporary. but for now, and for thepast few months i finally finally feltsomething good. i mustn’t let that go.

my love for the twelve of them is in no way romantic at all.i love them for they are the epitome of happiness itself. i love them like thesun and the clouds; like the moon and the stars and the grass and the sea. ilove them, for their existence has evidently made the quality of my lifebetter. i love them because somehow, they have made me better. through the happiness i feel because of them, i now knowthat it isn’t just an imaginary concept. it exists? oh my goodness, happinessexists! it does! and maybe one day i can find it within myself too. theymotivate me to do better, because one day if i ever get a chance to meet themor see them in a show, i need to be the best version of myself so i canhonestly say to myself or even tell them that a huge part of it was theirdoing.

i also found a new hobby! even though i still suck at makinggifs and making my blog look decent, i have grown to love making things hehe. inever did it before for any other groups (and now i’m expanding to other groupstoo), but i love it especially because it is for those i cherish most! not tomention the amazing beautiful spectacular wonderful indescribable people i’vemet through this blog too!

huh. seven-hundred words later and i’m still in tears, ohmy. how will i ever begin to thank them? 

now that the boyz are debuting, i can only hope and praythat they are as happy as they make me and all of us. that as they step off thestage after every performance, they are satisfied. that as they work and sweatand work some more, they feel fulfilled. i hope each one of them can furtherget to know each other and continue to hold onto that special bond, both on screen and especially off. wheneverthey accomplish the greatness in store for them, i hope they are laughing and smiling together and with the onesthey love most. when they cry out of happiness or sadness or frustration, ihope they get through it knowing they have each other—knowing they have me andyou and all of us, rooting for them always and forever.

to the boyz who are my silver lining and my happiness, thank you. to haknyeon, sangyeon, jacob, younghoon, hyunjae, juyeon, kevin, chanhee, changmin, hyunjoon, sunwoo and eric, thank you for giving me something more to look forward to. for the stanz that have mademe happier than ever as well, thank you so much. i love you all (though i do hope you didn’t read all this or ya’ll might h8 me for being such an emotional loser haha). i really thank God foreverything!

let’s all walk on the flowery path of happiness and light! the boyz,let’s go!

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Digimon Stage Play - Full

Aight, so tl;dr: great show, actors are perfect, Yamato is beautiful beyond belief, Mimi is UGHHHHHH in the good way and I’m bitter that the whole show isn’t sold out and whoever was in charge of promotion should be forced to eat nothing but the hottest of hot chillies for the rest of their life.

Timeline: It’s set after Koushirou creates the cyber space for them, but before the reboot. Clearly on/around August 1st ;p

Venue/Goods: a little out of the way, small. You couldn’t buy goods unless you had a ticket, which sucks. Goods were sold on the inside, line was small pre-play, massive after. My store clerk couldn’t count to save her life. People were trading, everybody hated that everything was random and there were so many types of things. Friend and I ordered dvd – no blu ray option, it’s being released in December (average wait time since Japan is very slow on physical releases). Had to downpay 2000 yen, which this and dvd only option has never happened before when I’ve seen other stage shows – not a good sign. No postal option, so my friend has to pick mine up for me – poor form again. (Pick up is only at animate – my nearest one is 2+ hours away :/)

Promotion/sold out: four shows sold out. Tickets reduced to 7000 yen, which is insulting for us who went through lottery. They advertised low prices at fes too. Promotion was done badly. Digimon isn’t massively popular, but Toei isn’t small either. Get a cast twitter, post rehearsal pics etc. Promotion doesn’t need to be costly. Fes advertisement (last weeks vid) was too little too late. Theres events with Miyazaki and AiM and seiyuus, which also seems last minute and an attempt to sell out. Again insulting to those of us to preordered. Shonichi didn’t sell out. Must be tough on actors. Promotion video (August 5th? 6th?) is kinda bad quality – the stage itself looks and sounds better than the video may lead you to believe.

Seating: nice, comfy. We were second row, left hand side, aisle. If we had been one or two more to the left it would have been really bad (same if you’re too overly right). The cast faces back/sideways too often, so we saw a lot of backs. Need to work on being diagonal, basic stage stuff there. However, pros of our seating were: Yamato being right in front of us when he sang, Jyou fishing in front of us and making eye contact with Etemon to the point where it was creepy lmao

Play Y’all. Y’ALL. THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT. A+ A+ A+ A+!!!!!! The puppets look quite nice tbh. Sometimes a little weird and maybe the cast should have worn the traditional black instead, but it was done well. Agumon is twitchy in the start, scene is a little long. He’s basically like ‘my body can’t move/is moving on it’s own???? Wat? Why???’ (both happen, not a bad translation on my part). He wakes up and Gabumon’s like ‘yeah me too’ and some of the other Digimon agree but Palmon’s like ‘yeah same but it’s because I’m not a morning person lmao’.

They all go to where the kids are. So this is set sometime after Koushirou makes the cyber space for them. Mimi and Koushirou talk about camping and Mimi ends up throwing his laptop on the FLOOR. Koushirou looks heartbroken and the entire audience was ?!?!? but sasuga Mimi and Koushirou’s like … well, moving on. Mimi is perfect beyond belief. Right voice, face, mannerisms. I know that’s what acting is, but she NAILED IT. She’s all like ‘camping is about feeling the breeze~’ then acts like she has wind her face, ‘about being hot’ (ahhhh, it’s hoooooot, she says), about monsters! (she says as she stalks towards the Digimon). We then get the scene where Sora talks about the importance of August 1st. While she speaks, on the left and right sides we see actual scenes from the original anime, which is really touching. Sora mentions that although there were good times, there were bad ones too (CUE GIF OF LEOMON DYING BECAUSE THEY HAD TO HAVE IT SOMEWHERE) All the mons wanna go camping which obviously, is cool.

Hikari invites Taichi and they talk. Jyou calls Hikari but Taichi answers and Jyou doesn’t realise. ‘Damn that Taichi, he isn’t coming? Leave it to me!’ Eventually Taichi is like ‘it me moron’ and Jyou convinces him to come after Taichi’s like ‘I BET UR NOT COMING’ because Jyou, as always, has exams. Jyou is a smart ass? He’s like ‘Taichi, next year, you’ll be in my position. And if it’s you… well… you’ll be in trouble.’ SUCH A GOOD SCENE JYOU IS MVP IN THIS PLAY Y’ALL. He gets his creep on here and it’s so funny. A couple of time it’s acknowledged that Hikari should have been there on August 1st but was sick. I believe at one point they were like ‘yeah we’re low key looking for Meikuumon’ so they’ve all met Meiko and plot stuff has happened. Whether you like Meiko or not (and the 02 kids), they aren’t relevant here – August 1st is for the original kids and I’m very glad they kept it that way.

Next is Knife of Day. Yamato sung and you could tell he was nervous but he did really well. He seemed to try and do too much of a Yamato voice instead of his natural voice). Yamato talks technical stuff (music wise) and then he high fives and fist bumps one of the band mates?? CUTIE PATOOTIE ALERT!!!! Honestly, he’s so pure and beautiful? One of the band mates tried to go ‘Knife of Day is… well, the name isn’t…’ ‘HAVE CONFIDENCE IT’S ALL GOOD FRIEND!!!!’ ‘Yamato that’s not what-‘ ‘WITH THESE MEMBERS WE’RE KNIFE OF DAY! WE’RE GOOD!!!’ ‘but the name-‘ ‘THESE FOUR MEMBERS. KNIFE OF DAY. HAVE CONFIDENCE!!!!’ Takeru comes along and talks about camp. Yamato is very cute toward Takeru who is worried a little about him. Very sweet scenes. Yamato explains both the band and August 1st are important to him. Later, Takeru buys Yamato a pink sleeping bag because he’s a shit head lmao

Everyone’s at camp, Mimi forgets everything. She’s adorable. People set up camp, which is cute. Yamato runs the kitchen and Hikari is chased by Agumon because she has meat. Of course, Yamato finds out about his sleeping bag and runs after Takeru. Etemon is the camp ground guardian? (What do you call these guys??) He takes their money (OF COURSE) and keeps going ‘there are MONKEYS around here!’ while posing ridiculously and everyone’s like k cool story. Eventually he’s like YOU WANNA SEE A MONKEY?!? But everyone’s like nah bro we good, so he runs off dejected.

The kids talk about the future. Mimi just wants to be a kid forever, but Palmon says she wants to be an adult lol. Koushirou isn’t sure what he wants to do, but says he likes computers. Jyou really talks about why he wants to be a doctor and it’s such a good speech! Yamato and Taichi are both like ‘well, I like my hobby I guess??’ Sora deflects the question, Hikari doesn’t know.

Theres a scene where Jyou sees a shooting star. Nobody else can see it. It’s cute.

Yamato and Taichi try to converse later (it’s just the two of them because Koushirou said something to ruin the mood so Takeru dragged him away even though he was like ‘I’ll stay awake as long as you’re up bro’). It’s mostly Hey Yamato Yeah? …. … . … Yeah?! …Nothing -silence- We have a lot to talk about, huh Yamato? -plays harmonica-

dumb morons lmao (all KoD stuff and Yamato’s harmonica is live. It sounds much better than what the video leads you to believe!!!!)

Mimi: Sora, you awake? …SORA Hikari: aye what up Mimi: GHOST STORY TIME Hikari: starts telling an old experience Mimi: NO TOO SPOOKY STOP STOP LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE!!!!!

She tries to get info out of Hikari who tries to get info out of her back. They both start going ‘what about Sora’ who stays asleep but Mimi is about to ‘reveal’ who Sora likes when she shoots up and is all like I DON’T LIKE ANYONE!!! They’re all lying down in sleeping bags, so Hikari and Mimi were jumping around in their sleeping bags and Mimi does the CUTEST wiggle!!!

They talk about their dreams and Mimi is like ‘I like lotsa stuff??’ but she thinks it’s stupid and is kinda embarrassed but they’re like?? No? it’s cool to have multiple interests and dreams? WHICH IS A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Jyou leaves early for his exam the next morning. Shit goes down and people split up to solve the problem. Etemon ends up revealing himself to Taichi and co. He’s super strong and is basically like “it’s been six years your time BUT I’VE BEEN SUPER SUPER LONELY FOR 100 YEARS I JUST WANNA CHILL”

There’s a gate so everyone (bar Jyou) is stuck at camp. Etemon forces Tai, Hikari, Sora and Mimi to bbq with him. AND THE ETEMON FIVE. YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT – ETEMON HAS FOUR COLOURED MONKEY BOY BAND FRIENDS. THEY SING AND EAT AND PLAY TOGETHER. THEY’RE THE ETEMON FIVE, COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!!!

Anyway, there’s a fight and Etemon wins and gets the above group together and the bbq happens. Etemon is super happy to see Hikari (“oniichan!” “eh? You’re the only dude… YOUR SISTER?! HOW ADORABLE!!!”) and she’s like ‘stop fighting’ and he’s like ‘girl? That’s all I want???’ but later they eat all the food and Etemon whips out yakisoba and offers some to Hikari.

“No. I don’t want it.” –awkward silence- Etemon 1: Eh? Why? Etemon 2: -idk- Etemon 3: Don’t push her! Etemon 4: Is it… you’re dieting? If that’s it… I totally understand…

Hikari is done with their shit. She wants to go home. Mimi wants a bath. Sora’s done with this bullshit. They realise time has gone whack so they’ve been there hours. Tai and Sora have a tiff as Tai is trying to keep the peace (doesn’t want to keep fighting, Sora realises they’ve essentially been kidnapped by Etemon 5), Mimi makes Sora back down when she tries to comfort him so Hikari can do it instead. Time is whack so they’ve been there forever, Etemon is like I SAID I WAS LONELY YOU CAN’T LEAVE EVER!!! He then tries to make Taichi be his bestie.

By forcing him into a kiss.

Curtain close.

(Honestly it was the funniest thing – it was a non-sexual kiss, but y’all, consent is consent. I mean, you probably shouldn’t take dating advice from a man in a monkey suit who low key resembles Piko Taro, but like. This is a weird site, Idk where some of you learnt to romance. I feel I need to say that.)

Part Two. Curtain stays shut. Jyou is wandering around the audience. Gomamon says it’s cool he failed his test. Jyou is very dramatic but eventually he reveals he did perfectly. Very cute moment. Etemon comes out after Jyou leaves (curtain still shut) and tries to get the crowd to yell his name. This happened earlier and nobody responded. He asked Taichi what his name was and got no response either ;;;; This time, the audience gave a lukewarm result so we got called weak lol. He then asked us again and we said his name louder, so he was very happy. The curtain was drawn and he almost got pushed away by it.

There’s more of a fight and we see all the groups are separated. The Digimon start feeling affected like how Agumon was at the start. A lot of the discussions they have are mostly about understanding the importance of August 1st, but also realising they can’t stay there forever. Life happens. They need to move on.

A gate appears so everyone is stuck in a barrier. Bar Jyou. Because he understands August 1st, is in the past, but still treasures it. Jyou and Yamato have a really good conversation, and it’s really nice to see Yamato being over the top and emotional around someone who isn’t Takeru or Taichi.

But before that, when everyone realises something is weird Koushirou’s like ‘Jyou is our last hope!’. Yamato and Takeru aren’t… too enthusiastic about that ;;; Anyway, Jyou comes in the barrier like no problem, Takeru tries to show him there’s a problem and Jyou’s like ‘are you miming something? There’s no barrier lol’. Koushirou becomes distrustful that Jyou isn’t the real deal, so he’s like ‘nvm you can leave’ and Jyou does. Only to come right back.

I’m leaving! OKAY BYE!!! –leaves-….-comes back- I’M SERIOUSLY GONNA LEAVE!!! Go right ahead!! …Really?

This exchange goes on for a while and it’s soooooooo funny. Eventually Koushirou and Takeru leave so Yamato and Jyou have their talk, since Yamato is so frustrated he can’t do anything for Gabumon who is clearly unwell.

There’s a fight and Taichi gained confidence from Agumon who is also feeling the effects of the time warp thing. Agumon digivolves into Greymon, and it’s so cool shit. It starts off with a screen and the music and then the big walls move to cover Agumon and BAM life size Greymon!!! It was done soooooo well!!!!

Etemon reveals he isn’t the villain after fighting. (This is kinda spaced out with talking, so like fight talk fight type thing, with having discussions by different groups) It’s kinda like all the previous villains (Dark Masters etc) all merged to form Venommyotism/ Venomvamdemon who is trying to take his revenge. Or something. It’s a little vague. Roll with it. But since that would be hard to make a pupper out of, Etemon just digivolves to King Etemon. It’s so weird because they take off his head???

He struggles with Etemon and eventually Etemon turns into the villain (Venom is just shown on the walls as a projection) and Greymon can’t do much since Venom is too fast/strong, so he digivolves to MetalGreymon. Being in the front row meant I was blast with a lot of icy smoke/fog, which was fun but also… smoke ;;;

Anyway, he still struggles until Yamato comes along with MetalGarurumon. They get their shit together and Omegamon comes out. The Omegamon puppet isn’t the best. It’s from the shoulders up, but it looks slightly too cartoony. Taichi and Yamato stand on his shoulders and end up beating the villain (duh).

Everyone and everything is back to normal, but everyone realises they’re suddenly in their uniforms again. It turns out that everything from when they were wearing casual clothes was a bug. I guess like in the Digital World… sort of? It’s kinda written off as ‘just a dream’. It happened, so everything is canon, but it wasn’t in the digital world but it wasn’t in our world so time was behaving differently.

Yes.

That means Jyou has to do his test again.

It’s vague on how this time bug was created, as is how the villains came back from being dead. That’s not the point of this play. The point is helping the kids to understand that the past is the past, but they need to move on.

It was a really good play, and I encourage you to buy the dvd if you can. If you’d like merch, hmu!

[honeyedmilks]

strong woman do bong soon- the tumbly review

this is gonna come out as a straight up hate post from a tired soul, about a show that could’ve been everything but wasn’t, and i make no apologies for that. it’s messy and unkind (not as unkind as i could be) but... i’m fairly honest.

what i’ll be talking about: 

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon (2017)

a biased summary by :

Do Bong Soon, our female lead (played by Park Bo Young), is super strong- thanks to a power that’s been passed down the ladies of her family for years. there’s a serial woman hater in her neighbourhood terrorising everyone, and she gotta stop that asshole! there’s also some good looking men in this show with like four love lines too keep things interesting, and some flailing gangsters who are out there too that she beats up now and then, drinking feces wine. And if this sounds like an awful mess then good, i’m doing the show great justice then. 

a general statement and warning about this show: 

it’s not good. if you’ve not seen it then please do not waste your time and instead watch literally anything else. i say this out of love for you. if you want a female lead who’s cool and cute and punches things then watch legend of the blue sea. it may not be perfect but it’s better than this.

the production: 

the show is visually very pretty in some sense. stylish wardrobe choices, nice landscape shots, cool sets, and a whole showcase of good looking people. 

the directing and special effects, the tone of the show, it can all border cheesy, but the intent is to come off quirky, funny and energetic seeing as this a story about a woman with super human strength. 

it’s a bit comic bookish, which again makes sense due to the nature of the show and it’s characters. except it doesn’t work all the time. especially not when the bad guy of your show is hardly a comic book character. he’s a misogynistic guy who likes beating up woman and kidnapping them for his own twisted pleasures. 

the directing and writing of this show fails to balance out the light and the dark in this show, by downplaying Bong Soon’s powers and by diluting the story with meaningless backstories and characters we didn’t need. 

the performances of our leads vary. but the main cast are well known actors, and carry a lot of talent.

Bo Young manages to make our heroine likeable and relatable for a while. She’s believable and gives the show some spark.

Ji Soo who plays our muddled in the heart copper Guk Doo, can be painful to watch in the first half, you end up not liking him and his harshness, but Ji Soo brings a likeable softness to him in the later half. 

Park Hyung Sik, much adored and admired by fans, takes on the role of our lonely chaebol, but he’s not just rich and sad guys, he’s also a video game creator, spy man and tech genius, with flawless skin, who goes by the name Ahn MInhyuk. Hyung Sik’s performance starts off lovably eccentric, bouncing between suave and smart, only to slowly dissipate into boring and even annoying. I’ll talk more about him later. 

our side characters are even harder to digest- mostly unlikable, with the funnies wearing off far too early in the long run of the show, we don’t care much for them- except from the woman, held hostage by the shitty but uninteresting serial villain.

there were so many plot points that were awful that just slashed the quality of the show too pieces, and i can’t even begin to talk about them.

the soundtrack is nice. it matches the zany inside of the show for the most part. it’s noticeably more fun when we get to Bong Soon’s super hero antics. 

the show is bright, bubbly and cleanly set on the outside when it’s a cutesy office rom com, but turns bleak and even mesier when it tries to get serious. 

the romance: 

loads of people say that they only finished this show for otp loveliness but i couldn’t relate. 

people made gif sets with epic romantic quotes... you know those quotes where it’s like “that one guy who looks at this super strong woman and they’re awesome and shit and he loves her strength and shit...” you know those kind? yeah that’s nonsense. here’s why i think so:

Minhyuk sucks as a romantic lead and a partner well mostly when you ship him with Bong Soon. i’m not gonna lie. i was really excited for them at the start, i was head over heels for those moments when he called her sexy for calling him out on being useless and such. i liked their friendly interactions together, but... when you add her strength in the mix, everything turns sour for me. 

Ah Minhyuk... i’m not saying that he should love her for her powers, or because she’s someone who has them. he just saw her as Bong Soon, which i mean.. i guess you can call sentimental? but when he says stuff like “yeah ya strong but your just Bong Soon.” like that’s not... romantic?

he doesn’t trust her when she’s like a million trillion times stronger and powerful than him. i don’t see why she had to go to this guy to “control” her powers. i don’t like how he doesn’t think highly of her powers- he’s just shocked and “shook” but not ever in an admiring way. maybe on the surface, it seems like it but... if you look really closely at the way he says things... it’s not like that. 

he sucked at helping her when she lots her powers, didn’t comfort in the way you would have hoped.

he underestimates her when she’s A THOUSAND TIMES STRONGER THAN ANYONE ON THIS EARTH- I mean almost everyone has seen a super here movie right? mary jane admire spider man, but also loves peter, but trusts him, he’s always doing the saving but she doesn’t think she’s better than him. lous lane and superman? pepper potts (a cool ass woman btw who’s honestly a bit like min hyuk when it comes to some of her skills) and iron man? thor and jane? yet... swdbs... minhyuk is still the super hero. and there’s no one relying on Bong Soon to save the day because ... she’s just a woman... we need to protect her... we can’t let her endanger herself to save some people when... she’s the only one who possibly could. 

this thing in their relationship where he loved Bong Soon with or without her strengths could’ve worked if they had done it well. like if he actually saw how much of a loss she felt when she lost her powers(which she lost for... what reason again?)- instead... it was so underwhelming. he didn’t see her powers as special and heroic... he didn’t see something so amazing like that to be a great loss to her. 

i mean, he’s always down playing her powers- loads of people do, but it’s worse when he does. he’s asked her if she was actually a man and then an alien, like you believe a man could spin a car with their bare hands, but not a woman? so obviously she’s an alien if not a man? how am i supposed to enjoy a female superhero when all anyone does is try erase the fact that she’s a woman?

there’s no empowerment that makes you feel anything for them. that’s usually something you sense but it’s just not there. it’s normal to be worried for your partner but there’s literally no sense of trust and admiration. it’s been a while since i watched swdbs, but i’m pretty sure when Bong Soon saves those women Minhyuk isn’t even happy about it... did she not apologise? that’s nonsense. 

it’s not just that aspect of their relationship that bothers me- it’s how whiny and annoying Minhyuk can be. people romanticised his “won’t you love me?” line but it’s not a good line. it’s not a romantic line that’s makes me swoon or makes me feel like Bong Soon should like him. he comes off as clingy and pining and like she’s got to be with her because he likes her so much. 

he made his bodyguard make him meals... i don’t care how sentimental and sad he is over his mother. he literally moaned on at her. 

he kept a tracking device on her? 

he gave her a desk in his office. it was a cute desk alright, but he did it to keep her close and he didn’t even take her video game designing game serious; everything about their relationship is so flat. 

if he was such a skilled fighter, did he really need to have Bong Soon as his bodyguard? (she was also a terrible bodyguard but you know). 

i know i’m nit picking, but i could over look some of these things if there weren’t so many things that made no sense to me. if only half of these things weren’t based on weakening Bong Soon and her relationship with her super strength. 

i blame a lot of this on crappy writing because this could’ve been about Bong Soon and her journey to being a hero but it was just nonsensical. 

it was all done so crudely that... i just don’t find anything solid about it. 

i felt no chemistry- i liked them best when they were bickering or just being friendly. 

like Bong Soon saw her powers as some kind of hardship? something she couldn’t show Guk Du, who she was in love with for so long, but sure Minhyuk sees them and accepts them, but he’s not there to help her realise all the things she can do, or admire and respect her. NOTHING MAKES SENSE. 

i don’t even know if i’m right in thinking that Minhyuk could’ve been someone to help her harness her powers and be supportive and help her on her way of becoming a superhero- because does a man who loves you have to be the one to make you see your worth as a hero? but he didn’t even not do that, instead, he just felt like an obstacle telling her that she may have powers but she’s still just Bong Soon. 

It just seems like a confusing jumble to me. 

were the writers trying to normalise her powers in their relationship? because i could watch any other crappy show with a strong woman who’s human talents are put under her to save the man’s fragile masculinity. but she’s got super hero powers... super heroes are admired and thought of as freaking cool and shit- it’s supposed to be awesome and all that jazz. it’s not much fun otherwise

all these things just annoy me. because if they wanted to make Bong Soon’s journey with her powers be her own, then why was Minhyuk such a useless involvement in them? why did he have to come save her from getting stabbed... why... if they’re gonna add romance in with the story line with her powers... why are the writers so scared of making her powerful... why does she need this mediocre mans help? 

i don’t care if he’s a ceo... or a tech genius... he used the lgbt identity as some kind of publicity thing, he’s not nearly as zany and cool as he could've been as he just ended up as another person telling Bong Soon she’s not a superhero. 

this ain’t the avengers- it should’ve been Bong Soon’s story as a badass super hero, why do i have to see Guk Do and Minhyuk devise some genius dumb ass plan at the end? why not let Bong Soon defeat the asshole on her own? 

why are people scared of a woman being mighty? and a man being there for it without having to to larger than her? while caring for her safety at the same time? it’s just so poorly done. all these things shadow over any cuteness and softness these two had. 

Bong Soon, I see why she would fall for him, but in the end, I really didn’t care about them. 

it’s almost like her powers are a plot device for their romance. it wasn’t an epic story about a girl with out of this world strength. 

i guess their is a development that can be viewed as nice at that point where Minhyuk has to process the discovery of our leading lady being the same mysterious girl that saved his life. he has to love Bong Soon but also separate his idolisation for this hooded girl from his image of Bong Soon and then combine it all at once so what he feels is real love for Bong Soon as he had known her before. so it’s not some twisted sort of mess that’s him loving but then also being with someone he imagined as an angel sent from above by his mother. 

it can be seen as romantic that he would take a knife wound for Bong Soon and call people to take her wild drunk videos offline, but it comes at the expense of Bong Soon and her image as a strong women. like she can be weak at points in the story, it’s called character development, but to be constantly pulled under him isn’t what i would call pro female superhero story telling. it’s not feminist and it’s not a romantic dynamic i want to root for.

his heroic acts kept climbing higher than Bong Soon’s, and when we got to hers he was still there, apparently doing half the work.

the characters: 

Minhyuk: some final ranting about him. i’ve noticed that Hyung Sik has a pattern when it comes to acting out his male characters; no matter how soft and cute they are, they always have this brimming masculine toxicity to them. in swdbs it’s really unbalanced (even worse in hwarang). i honestly tried feeling sympathy for him, with his messed up family and his dead mum and all that but he was honesty no fun to watch. he wasn’t offbeat and interesting. he was saturated down to some rich ceo manly man who said that he was a “healthy man” instead of gay. 

like he could’ve been so much interesting if he actually were bisexual or a supporter of lgbt rights, if he weren’t making Bong Soon do this and that, asking if she were a man and pining here and there- honestly these characters are such a waste of potential. 

Bong Soon: i’ve not talked enough about her. i like how she can be brash and i like how she can be caring with her friends, and i know she’s not a genius of any kind but she can be a bit thick. the writing sacrificed Bong Soon’s intelligence for plot points- like she wouldn’t be that careless to send her friend out on her own when their’s a kidnapper out there would she? and then be so mad that she had to catch the guy? 

she has like three interests. Guk Do, video games and cooking. i just wish she were more developed, i wish this story was about her and not a thousand other things. 

i really loved how feminine she was at the same time as being strong. you can be powerful and kick ass, unashamedly girly and womanly and sensitive all at once, without erasing any of the other things to make way for the other. but lazy sloppy writing didn’t let these aspects of her character shine.

i liked how Bong Soon, for the most part, was very unlike her mother. her mother was abusive and mean and even though the show tried to redeem her, she still should've been called out for her behaviour because if you’re gonna write how woman can be just as horrible as men who are domestic abusers then you better hold them to the same standard and let your viewers know that it’s wrong. 

Bong Soon was flawed, and i’m not going to lie about that- but her flaws were used for comedy. and i don’t know if i like that or not. 

i wasn’t a fan of how she favoured people over the other- like the case with sleeping Guk Doo and Minhyuk but now that i think about it... i don’t care if she treated Minhyuk meanly or cursed him behind his back.

the way she viewed her powers and the way she handled them... was a convoluted tangle. she wanted to keep her powers secret and couldn’t hurt people but ended up making a mess almost everywhere, she said she never used her powers to help people and we were supposed to see this decision she made to step up and use her powers for good as a turning point but we know she’d been doing kind things with her powers for a while by helping old grannies up streets and saving people from the fate of a broken bus. her relationship with her family gift is not clear. there is no clear arc in this story

she’s not a fantastic female lead, which should’ve been the case since, well, THE SHOW IS NAMED AFTER HER AND HER STRENGTH. so that’s disappointing.

but again, in the hands of capable writers, she could’ve been an audience favourite. 

Guk Doo: at first, we all pretty much hated him. whenever he came on screen i felt like i was suffering for some sin i committed in the past week. 

but in the end, as we got to see how he felt about Bong Soon and when he found out about her powers- i really liked him. i liked him when he told his (not great) girlfriend about how he felt about someone else. in fact, i liked Guk Doo because he was never short of caring. even though he was busy and forgetful, he always tried to make up for it. he still cared about her. okay so maybe the whole bit where he realised he loved Bong Soon was a mess but again there’s the case of rubbish writing. 

he didn’t think Bong Soon was fragile and needed protecting because she’s a small women. he didn’t say his type of woman has to be small and flowery and fragile out of vanity or misogyny... he says it because that’s what he thought Bong Soon was, as she led him to believe. I phrased that badly but in short i’m saying he loved Bong Soon as he thought she was, and loved her still and as much with her powers in a way that felt sweet and sad (because as that moment rolled around when he found out about her powers, her heart was already somewhere else). 

dramabeans said it better and i’ll paraphrase: this image of his ideal women that he painted out loud was based around Bong Soon and when he find out about her powers and how she’s not as weak as she led him to believe, that feeling of love didn’t change.

he was also mature and almost gentle while he handled the discovery of her secret, fairly well might i add, as he realised all the things he missed as they were growing up. 

the villain: awful, who’s crimes on screen could potentially hurt people who’ve been abused in the past as they watch. the fact that the point in this was to have a women hater be defeated by a powerful woman was not driven home well. it could’ve been so good but instead we got a noodley thin version of this premise.

side characters: they were tiring. we didn’t need half of them. some stayed too long and the joke soon turned stale. some where offensive. Guk Doo’s girlfriend all i can say is... at least she talked to him and was honest in the end (after doing things behind his back). 

in conclusion:

i’m tired of people saying that the main pair are a power couple and that they’re the otp of all otp’s. 

the show is so overrated. it deserves the harsh comments that come it’s way. it was rampant with offensive bits for laughs and maybe we could let this show slide if it weren’t for these rubbish jokes, and how serious it took it’s main themes of women and power only to botch it completely.

other people's posts have been much more concise and articulate as they describe what i’ve talked about. these are just the thought’s i had to get out of my sore head.

here is a post that is very clear about what’s wrong with this show, in a much quicker way. and i whole heatedly agree with it. 

anyways. yeah this was rubbish and if you have high hopes for this like most of us did, then you’ll be sorely disappointed.

[foundcarcosa]

cxcvi.

Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? >> If you’re thinking about reading this, I’d consider passing unless you’re ridiculously fascinated by my every word or something -- it’s extremely long. Anyway, I actually closed it by accident, because I didn’t compensate for the change in air pressure when I swung it behind me.

Stripes or polka dots? >> I prefer stripes.

Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? >> I do care. I’d prefer not to be touched. Exceptions exist, but they’re so few and so specific that it’s easier to just start from “don’t touch me” as a rule and then write in the amendments as they become relevant.

What is your gender? >> I don’t have one. Except for Sparrow’s interpretation of my gender, which is “a .gif of a twerking spider”. It’s acceptable.

Do you think that people think its obvious? >> I think that my lack of fucks given re: gender is plenty obvious by my appearance, but at the same time, it’s probably better in general if people don’t assume.

How long did your first date last? >> I don’t remember. It was almost 12 years ago.

Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? >> I don’t have a favourite colour.

Highlight of your day? >> The high point of today was getting to three-quarters done with WoW’s Loremaster of Draenor achievement. Spires of Arak was a pain in the ass.

Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? >> That would probably depend on the length of the voyage and where to. I do love flying, though.

Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? >> Whether I can tell if someone has eyeliner on or not depends on how closely I’m looking at their face and also how much I care.

Can you cook? >> I can.

How high is your ceiling? >> I don’t know.

Whats the worst job you can think of? >> The worst job for me would be janitorial work, especially if bathrooms are involved.

Do you swear a lot? >> I do.

Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? >> Yes.

Is everything working in your house? >> More or less, I assume.

Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? >> I’d rather have a trampoline, as I’m more likely to use that than a pool (seeing as I can’t swim and find the rituals surrounding pool usage -- the showering, the drying, the changing of clothing, the uncomfortable sensory bits -- to be overwhelming most of the time.

Does pop give you energy? >> Not that I’ve noticed.

TV show you love with a passion? >> Metalocalypse is one. So is Vikings. And Person of Interest. And Hannibal. And Tremé. And Carnivale. And...

Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? >> There are no such things in my life. Perfect age to get married? >> The age you feel like doing so. Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? >> It’s not safe to say that. I own two.

Name a career path that women are known for taking. >> I’m not confident enough in the veracity of any demographic-based statistical data to answer this.

Favorite type of cookie? >> Thin Mints are the only cookies I can eat more than one of in a sitting.

A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? >> I don’t look for specific qualities, I look for well-crafted and intricate and intriguing tapestries -- and then I mine the details.

What would I find if I looked in your pocket? >> A lip balm.

What was your first word? >> I don’t know.

A musical instrument you wouldn’t mind learning how to play? >> I’m fine with not knowing how to play one. Singing is more my thing. And rhythm-based music games. :p

Last time you went to 7-eleven? >> I don’t remember. I was probably in New York.

A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? >> None.

Does everyone in your family have a job? >> I don’t even know everyone in my family, let alone their employment status.

Going anywhere this weekend? >> Not that I know of / can recall.

Is your room ever clean? >> The bedroom is generally some level of clean. More cluttered than I’d like, but that’s because I’m inclined to minimal possessions and Sparrow is not.

What does it mean when youre being quiet? >> It means I don’t feel like being loud. Which is usually.

Last person you had a face to face conversation with? >> Sparrow.

Wheres your phone? >> On the bed beside me.

Do you know the difference between your and you’re? >> Yes. I don’t find it worth arguing about, though.

How late did you stay up last night? >> I went to sleep sometime around 1a EST, I think.

Anyone you’re ready to kill? >> I’m ready to kill whatever mobs I need to kill to continue grinding out these achievements.

Do you need to get a tan? >> No. I certainly wouldn’t complain about getting a shade or three darker, but I don’t think I spend enough time in the sun for it to happen regardless.

What do you want? >> A slight decrease in humidity. A stone-and-glass shower that could feasibly fit a dozen people comfortably. A giant Snorlax plushie. Her.

Favorite TV show as a kid? >> I don’t think I had one. Whats a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? >> Sherlock.

How many times have you been in love? >> I don’t know.

Go camping or go to a party? >> Partying while camping is a lot of fun.

Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? >> Yes. I started in earnest when I left my dad’s, because I wasn’t allowed to swear while I lived with him. So, 17.

How many years older than you would you date someone? >> My general guideline is no more than 10 years older than me.

What was the last thing you pinky swore on? >> I don’t.

Would you consider yourself a nice person? >> I don’t consider myself a nice person. I don’t want to be a “nice” person. I want the adjectives that describe me to be more... detailed. Less fake-sounding.

Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? >> There are three.

Has there ever been a serial killer in your house? >> As far as I know, no. Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? >> No.

True or false: Glee is annoying. >> I don’t know, I’ve never watched it.

Last thing you cooked? >> Half of a bag of frozen potatoes and onions and peppers.

Do you use slang often? >> Sure.

Wear glasses? >> Sunglasses, and sometimes clear lenses for aesthetic. About how old was the last person that hit on you? >> I don’t remember the last time I was hit on.

What color are your headphones? >> One pair is black, the other blue.

Would you make a good teacher? Why? >> I don’t know. I’ve never really thought much about it, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be socially acceptable enough for any established educational system.

Don’t you hate those commercials that try too hard? >> No. I don’t understand a lot of them, or what their target demographic is, or what the hook is supposed to be, but I accept them as a quirk of modern society.

Is the fan on? >> Yes.

Any special reason why you’re taking this survey? >> No special reason. I was in the mood to take one and I found this in the tag.

What does the last text message you sent say? >> I don’t remember and don’t feel like finding out. Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? >> In this highly improbable situation, I have no real problem picking up a pregnancy test for someone... as long as I have a good reason to. I’d be more interested in why they couldn’t go get it themselves.

Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site? >> Except for the very rare times I’m on a public device or someone else’s device, no.

What color are your underwear? >> Black.

How short are your nails? >> They’re about a centimeter extended past my fingertips.

Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? >> I’m too lazy to manipulate this question into one remotely answerable by me.

Favorite holiday? >> Christmas.

If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? >> Yes. I remember Ohio’s shape.

Youre locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? >> How many spiders? How big are they? Are they venomous? Also, why am I locked in a room at all?

Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? >> I think my most expensive item of clothing is either my winter coat (which I only wear in... winter... so no, not often) or my Tripp coat (which is too small for me, so now I don’t wear it at all until I can figure out how to repurpose it).

Do you eat a lot of food? >> I eat as I’m compelled to. /shrug Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? >> I was an adult when I started having those kinds of relationships, so there is no way he could exert control over them.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? >> Yes.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? >> I don’t know how good I’d be at understanding driving directions, seeing as I don’t drive. I understand most directions pretty well, if multiple frames of reference are given (compass directions and landmarks as backup, for example).

How many people do you text daily? >> Zero, usually, unless Sparrow texts me something.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? >> No.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? >> No.

What did you do on your last birthday? >> On my actual birthday, I didn’t do anything. My birthday trip was at the beginning of that month.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? >> I don’t know.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? >> No.

What is your least favorite subject in school? >> All of them.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? >> No. My father won custody of me pretty easily when I was a baby, considering my mother didn’t even show up to court.

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s face? >> No.

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? >> Earlier today. I watched the Leeroy Jenkins video.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? >> No. When was the last time you held someone’s hand? >> I don’t remember.

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? >> I don’t eat meals, I just eat when I’m hungry. I ate on about four separate occasions today, but not much.

Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” >> No.

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? >> It’s reliable for what I use it for.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? >> Yes. I thought it had some cool things.

Do you care about spending money if it’s someone else’s money? >> I respect people’s financial limits, especially if they’re clearly defined (”ok I only have 20 to spend so”), but I don’t make a big deal out of trying to order the cheapest thing on the menu. I order what I want, and if they don’t want to buy whatever it is, then I’ll pick something else. --Or pay for it myself.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? >> Lilo and Stitch.

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? >> No. I didn’t really have a context for that.

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? >> I’d rather hardwood everywhere except the bedroom, I think. I just find it so much easier to keep clean, and also... I can just put rugs down if I want soft. (Rugs are also easier to clean for me, because they can be taken outdoors and beaten and aired out.)

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? >> I don’t remember.

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? >> Day camp, sometimes. And church camp once, when I was 13.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? >> Yes, once. Wouldn’t mind doing it again.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? >> No.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? >> I don’t know.

Who was the last person to compliment you? >> I think that was Krister, on Instagram sometime in the past week or two.

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? >> I was 18.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? >> My father was overprotective and strict.

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? >> No.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? >> No.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? >> Yes. I especially like to watch them on the bathroom TV at the in-laws’ house when I use their shower.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? >> A couple of soft tacos and/or a quesadilla or something. Nothing too extravagant.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? >> In general, yes, but now there is a finish line in sight.

Have you ever felt like someone was following you? >> Yes. Do you like short or long surveys the best? >> I like the 30-50 question range best. Any longer than that, and questions start to weaken and get repetitive. Case in point: this survey, which has asked me about instruments three times already.

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? >> No. That doesn’t strike me as an intelligent move.

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? >> ---

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? >> No. I often get excited, though.

How often do you shower? >> Two to three times a week.

Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? >> I don’t recall ever doing that.

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? >> Zero.

Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? >> I don’t think I have a context for that kind of opinion.

Do you ever watch any soap operas? >> No.

Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? >> Well, probably.

Do you think long surveys are boring or entertaining? >> If the questions manage to remain interesting, as I said before, then I’m fine with them. This one is pushing my patience.

What color is your significant other’s hair? >> It’s usually purple or red or some shade in between the two.

Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? >> Probably at some point.

Would you ever become a foster parent? >> I’d rather become an adoptive parent. I prefer the long-term investment model of parenting; the short-term investment model does not appeal to me.

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? >> No, but a couple of them ought to be ashamed of themselves, probably.

When you get married, will you convert your last name? >> Yes. Provided Sparrow does what I think she should do, and change hers before the legal proceedings. Otherwise it just won’t make as much narrative sense, god dammit.

Are your parents divorced, married or separated? >> My parents were never married.

Has someone ever left a relationship with you for someone else? >> Probably. I never paid too much attention to that.

What’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced? >> Superlatives and me don’t get along.

When was the last time you went shoe shopping? >> It’s been a while. I can never find shoes I want to wear.

When was the last time you cried? For what reason? >> I don’t remember.

What is your favorite shop to go to at the mall? >> Hot Topic, Barnes and Noble.

Would you ever consider becoming a marine biologist? >> No.

Did you carry a lunchbox as a child? >> I did. I was raised vegan and sugar-free so I had to take packed lunches.

What is your favorite ‘sweet’ to eat? >> Sea salt brownies are pretty good.

Are you someone who usually eats when you’re bored? >> Sometimes.

Have you ever eaten your way through a breakup? >> No.

Who was the last person you texted? >> Sparrow, most likely.

Do you usually buy popcorn when you eat at the movie theater? >> No. I don’t really like popcorn in the first place, but especially not for those prices.

Did you sleep alone or with someone last night? >> Alone until Sparrow went to bed. We have Venn-diagram sleep schedules.

What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? >> Balsamic vinaigrette, or Italian in a pinch.

Are you someone who constantly likes to wear hats? >> No. I like my floppy hat, but that’s it. And that’s just for winter, when my short hair can’t protect my head from the elements.

Have you ever seen a Lifetime movie that relates to your life? >> No.

Is it your summer vacation right now? >> I don’t have vacations.

Do you like traveling? >> Yes.

What color are the walls of the room you’re in right now? >> White. Do you go to church regularly? >> I did for a few months, but I don’t think it’s something I could keep up for long. Dragging myself out of bed in the morning just to go get frustrated at Christianity can sometimes be fun, but mostly I’m too lazy.

Who’s your best friend? >> I suppose that is Can Calah.

Are you determined? >> Determined to do what, exactly? My personality traits are dependent on the circumstance. Are you always looking for/in a relationship, or do you like being single? >> I have been in at least one relationship for the past five years, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.

Ever had your heart broken? >> I’ve felt like that, yeah.

Even broken someone else’s heart? >> I don’t know. No one’s ever told me that, to my recollection, so I assume not.

Are you confident? >> I don’t know. Probably. It’s not something I put a lot of mental energy into. It strikes me as a largely unimportant trait to focus on at this time in my life.

When’s the last time you smiled? >> I don’t remember. I also don’t really... keep track, ya dig.

Are you tan? >> I am dark-skinned. Any big plans for today/tonight? >> No.

What’s the background on your computer? >> It’s a slideshow. Right now, it’s some cool space art I probably found here on tumblr.

Do you have days where you just want to listen to sad songs? >> Not whole days, usually. Periods of time in general, though? Certainly.

Who’s the last person you kissed? >> Sparrow.

Are you hoping they will also be the next person you kiss? >> I mean, at this point it’s kind of assumed.