#and yeah. ig its kind of like a hs thing?

[nitazenes]

my natal chart: you have to make a decision related to your social life or creative endeavors.

my tarot cards: you have a decision to make regarding your relationships or ambitions/priorities

My natal chart: You will see changes in your Romantic/social life or creative endeavors

my natal chart: yeah you have a decision to make, but Romance *eyebrow waggle*

my natal chart: it's either your creative endeavors or romance idk lol

me: CAN YOU DECIDE ON ONE

i highly doubt its romantic like no one in my life is interested in me that way, 💅a damn shame

But if its my creative endeavors, what decision do I have to make?

i can make a guess about the decision i need to make, it's either about my therapist or choosing between pursuing art and pursuing medical school.

the thing about medical school, especially for radiology, i need to know how to do stats and there's math involved in chemistry as well.

I have severe dyscalculia and dyslexia, luckily ive dealt with my dyslexia without help for many many years and i can read and spell things right for the most part. i tend to forget a letter sometimes. but numbers are very difficult. especially numbers that look similar like a 1 and 7 or 2 and 3 or the number 17 looks to me like 71 or 11 or 77, with 2 and 3 the number 32 looks the same to me as 22, and 22 and 33 are the same to me but 33 looks slightly different. but then if the answer to the math is say 23, i will most often answer backwards, so 32 is what i will put into notes or homework bc of this i never got past geometry in HS while some of my friends were doing trig.

because of my inability to do math successfully i worry that the field I want to go into will not work out.

If i continue to pursue being an artist, idk ive never gotten a commission before even when i had a commission post and to add to it, im an art school drop out bc at my pretentious ass art school, they didnt know how to properly critique or teach students to critique so my art got called childish (my personal style is kind of cartoonish ig you could say) but I was also told my shaky/sketchy/fly away lines were "clearly the mark of an immature beginning artist. with no grasps on the fundamentals of art" when i have been practicing for about 9 yrs at this point. Not nearly as long as i could have but going on a decade? Also did they ever think i have a fine motor skill issue (TD) and my hands shake a lot because of it so thats why i dont have "confident" lines in my sketches

the only successful venture ive had with art was with photography. i wouldnt mind continuing into photography and i have *decent* photoshop skills but i dont think i could compete

[mangodestroyer]

I think I've come to realize that I'm the kind of person who feels fulfilled when I'm working towards something.

Like, I do care about the destination, but I care about the journey so much more! With my current standard of living, it might be possible for me to just fuck around only working part time. Sure. Whatever. I did that for a year when I took a break from school. And it SUCKED. I was so miserable. I was also processing something that WAS very miserable, and witnessing many more miserable things, but it's gotten so much easier to cope with now that I'm back in school.

It was like this in hs too. I had a goal. And that was taking on the advanced classes and graduating with honors. Not even much thought as to what I'd do after or anything. I just wanted to do it. And I did genuinely enjoy it, for the most part (although part of why I was doing it at the time was for the wrong reasons, so that led to its own existential crisis).

Idk, it just gives me a sense of purpose, ig. It makes life feel structured and predictable. And again, I can't just not do something. I just want to go through college and enjoy the experiences it may bring. And have the satisfaction of knowing I could do it. I've seriously been thinking about grad school and living on campus, and I'm absolutely excited to go through with it! I feel so much more ready for it too, than I did when I first started out and couldn't figure out what I wanted to do in college.

And tbh, I'm torn between whether this is healthy, or some kind of trauma thing (seeking out predictability and structure). It does sound healthy and constructive in some ways. Seriously, I'm not hurting myself doing this. I'm not getting into six figure debt atm (and there are some options for me when it comes to funding, so long as I attend a school in my state).

At the same time, it would seem that I am stuck like this. With the whole structure seeking. I've done work getting myself to stop trying to seek that out so much in other individuals because it was leading to me being too desperate and vulnerable and letting in toxic relationships. Yeah, that shit had to stop real fast. I think I'm starting to get that this isn't a normal way to bond with others and that things need to happen much more subtly/organically. Not just go with the first person who claims they respect/love me (but obviously doesn't mean it).

At the same time, idk if you can completely fix trauma. Or the side effects it has. I think in some ways, it will always be there. Just managed better than it was four years ago. But like I said, I'm not exactly miserable taking classes and all. I have always liked learning. And I find the college environment to be far less oppressive than grade school and other aspects of my life.

[rrxnjun]

I ACTUALLY YELLED SEEING LIEBESTRAUM WAHHHHH;-;-;;-;-;-;-;; THANK U SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT I CANT WAIT TILL JUNE;-;;-;-; i cannottttt tell u how happy u actually made me with that wahhdhfjf

OOO MAN☹️☹️I HOPE UR MENTAL HEALTH WILL GET BETTER!!!! AND U DONT SUCK!!! TAKE UR TIME WITH IT u shouldn't listen to them when ur not in the mood for them it will deff ruin the vibes so take all the time u need!!!!

i agree with that the only good noise music i listen to now is all from nct and when i hear other bgs' i'm just😟😟😟 IM SURE HE WAS AMAZING CUZ ALL OF THEM WERE🤌🤌 the song genuinely slaps so i'm not surprised if it makes it in there

well idk people said i study a lot so i just accepted the fact but i never feel prepared enough so;-; tbh the percentage is lower just to pass💀 but i need the plus point for uni and that's the limit for getting it but yeah i feel like it shows that hungary does not go for making people smarter lmao💀 I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE POINT LIMITS FOR GETTING INTO UNI wahhh the whole thing is dumb🫠 thank u!!!! i have three more speaking exams so i'm shitting my pants rn😃OH NO☹️ i hope u passed the second one exams suck so i hope it didn't hit u hard!!!! GOOD LUCK WITH THEM!!! IM SURE U WILL DO GOOD ON THEM!! MANIFESTING SO HARD!!!! I HOPE U ARE DOING WELL AND ARE TAKING CARE OF URSELF!!!! (liebestraum anon💓💕)

(the review reply: art sucks for that reason sm;-; but i deff learned after a few times of that happening with me as well to just sleep on it and throw it out after but it still amuses me how can art have this effect in a way (idk how to explain what i mean rip) AND THANK U FOR NOT HATING IT U JUST MADE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ISTG!!!)

IM REPLYING TO THIS ASK LITERALLY SO LATE THAT THE FIC IS DROPPING TOMORROW LMAO ADJSK i have to warn u tho its quite different to the original draft i had and the teaser i posted from it 😶😶 hope you still end up liking it !!!

SJSJ thank you thank you 😔😔 you are always so sweet and understanding ily mwah.

nct noise is the only good noise in kpop. there i said it. 😶 (this is a joke there are a few more good noise songs from diff groups pls dont jump me im targeting one fandom in specific w this yes) like nct could do any of your favs songs but could your favs do sticker? no. thats right.😌 AHHH im glad u liked my babies cix i was told by spotify that they are my top listened to artist of the last 4 weeks so. 😃 yeah. they also had a comeback like 2 days ago if u wanna check that out cough cough

if people tell u that, its probably true AHAHA 😭😭 me and my friend were talking the other day like i dont even study that much like i get to the 2 hour mark and i go well 🤷‍♀️ thats it for the day ig. like i dont have any more brain capacity LMAO. Oooh i do get you w the uni points stuff!! me being a straight A student was what got me into uni too bc switching from business hs to psychology was actually kind of insane coming from me LMAOOO i had no bonus points from biology or anything so my grades helped a TON since i fucked up the entrance exam too lol 😭😭😭 im rooting for you !!!! I feel like slovakia doesnt really care abt that either ?? there are definitely better and worse unis tho and i unfortunately attend the one thats one of the best so they kinda care..😔 SPEAKING EXAMS ARE THE WORST THEY SHOULD BE CANCELLED LIKE THATS 3 TIMES THE STRESS U HAVE WHEN TAKING A WRITTEN ONE. i hate those sm omg i am PRAYING for you (i have only one speaking one this semester and i am mentally preparing for it for the last few weeks) i actually passed the second try (with an E, but i still did it....) and i have another exam w the same professor this friday so..🤞

i am trying to learn how to be patient w art (and life) so it prevents me tearing everything out and throwing it out.....so you are right abt that AHAHA thats a good advice to take

as always i hope youre doing good, taking care of yourself and having a good time!! mwah

[wc-confessions]

warrior cats are fundamentally bad books, both in terms of basic writing and in terms of how bigoted they are. the hatred for women, victims of abuse, victims of toxic relationships, non-biological families, disabled people, cross-group relationships, religions outside the ones the protagonists' worship, and more that's interwoven into a majority of warriors' books is dizzying. literally a majority of the discourse i see surrounding the books and its characters could be resolved if all parties just acknowledged that frankly these books fucking suck and these authors don't know how to write. there's only so much bad writing, both in terms of basic story crafting AND in terms of messaging that you can excuse as being harper collins' fault before you might as well start saying that the /editors/ wrote the books, not the actual authors. i don't think the editors are making the hunters' prose sound as hollow and characterless as it is. i don't think the editors demanded the hunters to make thistleclaw a child groomer, or to do write it in such a way that would make thistleclaw's tactics come off as acceptable. i think that's just the hunters being terrible writers.

the only thing the warriors series had going for it is that its fandom, 9 times out of 10, crafts better stories with the concept then warriors itself. if not for the creativity this series inspired, i do not think it would have survived in the cultural zeitgeist as long as it has.

yes, i hear the new books are slightly better, but the acknowledgement for warriors' history of hatred + history of just being some absolutely garbage writing is few and far between. genuinely shocked warriors hasn't been fully condemned by the internet yet. is it a reclamation thing?

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Your comment about the Bonten timeline and its superficial happiness after seeing a bunch of discussion about whether or not MaiTake will become canon made me think because like

While i honestly would be VERY surprised if we got canon explicitly romantic MaiTake (aka i really don't think it's gonna happen LMAO) it would really make that timeline narratively immensely powerful and just. very beautiful

Because... Michi is finally in a timeline where Hina is alive (and probably permanently this time lol) but still together with him and even set to be married soon. That together with the apparent happiness of his friends presents itself as sometime of an "utopia", just about the best outcome considering their circumstances (that could still realistically happen) and just about everything Michi could've wanted (well ig except being stuck at that store but even then he's in a better position at least? lol)

But it's just... Surface level. And choosing this kind of future would essentially just be running away from reality into a sweet dream

And when and how exactly does Michi come to the conclusion that, no, this definitely isn't the kind of future he wants?

... Only tangentially related but if Sanzu really goes after Koko in the current fight that would really give that one scene much more meaning bc it does sorta come off as "okay random but look at my new designs 🤩" setting a dead flag for your own past self tho.... That sure is some dramatic irony or whatever it's called lol

....i have no idea if any of this even makes sense bc it's literally past 4 and my brain and body are just in an eternal state of ??? but i suddenly had some Thoughts so thank u for this wonderful open inbox and the opportunity to just let them Out bc i swear I'm going insane. Maybe i do miss one thing about HS and it's getting to do fun poem interpretations

Oh yeah I definitely agree with you, we're definitely not getting canon romantic maitake. Hina's been established as the love interest from chapter one, even in the current arc Wakui has been sure to show takehina, he's definitely not dropping it for the ending. (Personally I like both ships so I'm fine with whatever happens).

When Takemichi first travels to the bonten future he only sees the surface level of everything, everything looks good to him because everyone seems happy. That's all Takemichi wants, he just wants everyone to be happy and alive. That's his minimum for it to be a good future, that's why when he thinks Mikey is successfully working overseas he's happy for him.

It's not until he sees the white haired man on TV and thinks Mikey is dead that Takemichi starts to realise the future isn't what he wants.

Takemichi knows Mikey well, he knows Mikey isn't happy without all his friends, he knows Mikey isn't having a happy future which is why he wanted to save him. I think if Takemichi hadn't have searched for Mikey he would've ended up regretting it for the rest of his life. I think he always would've been distantly thinking about what happened to Mikey, it would've ruined Takemichi's happiness in the future. I also think it wasn't a happy future for Draken either. To me he still looks upset over what happened with Mikey, I feel like he has a lot of regrets he's carrying as well.

The second Takemichi found out about Mikey the illusion of it being a truly happy future shattered.

[soysaurus]

Kaminari Denki x Shinsou Hitoshi for the ask meme?

hey dino!

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did:

my thoughts:

What makes me happy about them:

What makes me sad about them:

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

things I look for in fanfic:

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

My happily ever after for them:

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

when I started shipping it if I did:

uhhhhh i cant remember the date, bc im terrible at that shit. but i do know it was quite a bit after i had gotten into bnha actually. i think it was when i started to read the manga and i'd seen their interactions...and i also saw some shinkami art that introduced me to the idea too...

my thoughts:

theyre cute, fun, and theyre also like. super happy. such a different vibe from a lot of my other ships. there is angst, but its a lot different flavour of angst usually, and its not quite as deep-rooted in their canon interactions/characters as my other ships. also, theyre super versatile. easily a comfort ship, but i surprisingly don't really consume a lot of content about them—maybe because they're still kids and i tend to like adults more.

What makes me happy about them:

its so easy to make them care for one another, and theyre so wholesome too. theyre just have such vibrant first-love kind of energy. they're like the teenage couple that are super stable and honest and comfortable with each other—and it's just so heartwarming to see.

What makes me sad about them:

i dont think its them specifically, but just more this kind of lack of depth—or really more vibes and themes i can explore with them. which is maybe why i favour other ships more. but in terms of the content i like to submerge myself in, these two get kind of repetitive in my head. and it can get boring. and that makes me sad bc i like them a lot but i find how stable they can be—or the ways that they're not as well—can get repetitive. personal preference probably is the reason for this.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

i havent read a tonne of shinkami fic im ngl—and the ones i have read ive really liked. so i dont really get annoyed with them....just more kind of bored sometimes.

things I look for in fanfic:

aus babeyyy. and for them to be aged up bc i dont particularly like teenage drama. and i prefer the whole dealing with adulthood thing. maybe bc im growing into an adult now and trying to leave hs and all those years behind hahah

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

i dont have a lot of shinsou ships....shinbaku sounds interesting though. i think shinmina would be cool too. or shinsero. im just shipping shinsou with the entire bakusquad here lol. but for kami, god he's also super shippable. i really like bakukami, todokami and ochakami tho.

My happily ever after for them:

just them, chilling, in bed with a cat or smthn. idk just domestic fluff ig while they deal with...normalcy.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

kami is the little spoon and shinsou the big spoon lol. i think kami loves to give shinsou hugs tho, so they switch sometimes but like yeah

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

petting cats! gaming! shinsou listening as kami rants about his new obsession or just something he noticed and suddenly has a billion thoughts on. i feel like theyd sometimes try to do couples yoga and it always goes badly but in a really funny way

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #295

i’m not listening to music so am blanking on lyrics to put here lol

Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? Eminem. "Cinderella Man" is probably my favorite, or "Space Bound." How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Ozzy Osbourne, if I had to pick solely one. God, picking a favorite song, though... idk, maybe "Trap Door," but it's almost impossible for me to decide. Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? No. Would you rather be home alone, or have people with you? Why? I'd rather have people home, but alone in my room. I just feel less lonely. Have you ever dropped a class in school? Which class, and why did it suck? I dropped some class in college that I can't remember the name of... I completely misjudged what it would be like. I had absolutely zero interest. I feel like I've dropped another, too? Have you ever taken someone back, who ended up just hurting you again? No. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nicole. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? Something for school, I'm sure. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, my driving instructor in HS. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Yeah, to be transported from the ER to psych hospitals, as well as handcuffs among other restraints when going to court to explain why I was eligible for an earlier discharge from the hospital. That's one of the scariest experiences of my life, feeling like a bound lunatic. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Yeah, for two surgeries. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I have two old meerkat ones that are just for decoration. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? No. Do you have a favorite author? No. Does your significant other boss you around a lot? I don't have one, but I wouldn't tolerate that shit. Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Me, but I obviously lived. I think I've loosely or distantly known people who weren't so lucky. Are you a fan of PDA (public displays of affection)? As long as it's not too intense, I think it's sweet. It's beautiful to see love expressed. When was the last time you went bowling? A few years ago for Girt and my first date. Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? I do. Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yes, for school essays. I think my longest was about toxic masculinity. I'm actually really proud of it; I think my instructor used it as an example for her next semester's students, given that I was notified of an influx of views on it. Do you have any names picked out for your future children? What are they? Hypothetically speaking, if I had a daughter, Alessandra is her name, period, lol. I would like to name my never-happening son Damien, but I'd be more open to suggestions from my partner. Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? Oh yikes, no thank you. Do you have/want any piercings? I have a good number and seriously want more. What side of the bed do you sleep on? More towards the left. Who is the last person you told a secret to? Nicole, about Misty coming down here for a visit. Have you ever been on an island? Yes, just off the NC coast during a 4th grade school vacation. It was amazing and even had wild horses. What's your favorite job you've ever had? I guess GameStop was the best, since I was actually interested in what I worked with. Do you have any vacations planned? No. Do you enjoy getting manicures/pedicures? How often do you get them? I mean it's nice I guess, but it's not something I'd spend money on. Have you yelled at anyone today, and why? No. Do you own anything with your state or providence's name on it? No. Do you like the Paranormal Activity movies? Yeah. Paranormal is my favorite subgenre of horror. What's your favorite way to eat peanut butter? On waffles, haha. Do you like bows? Yeah, they're cute. Have you ever made a 'haul' YouTube video? No. Has a boyfriend ever made you breakfast? Yeah, that was quite ordinary with Jason since his original intention was to be a chef. What do you gather your change in? My wallet. Do you like to play Angry Birds? I never have. The movie was cute, tho. Do you like Cheez-Its? Oh GOD. I looooove Cheez-Its and they need to be kept away from me to avoid bingeing on them. Have you ever been pulled aside for a random bag search at an airport? I don't think so, no. What’s your favorite flavor of Jell-O? Watermelon, I think? Or strawberry? Do you have any games on your computer? Which ones? On my personal laptop, I have World of Warcraft, Alien: Isolation, Resident Evil 6, and both Amnesia games. I think that's it. What's a musical instrument you think sounds really beautiful? Violins. Do you have a favorite type of pasta? (like a shape of noodles, not dish) I'm not particular about this, really. What's the coolest natural event you've ever witnessed? Maybe the blood moon. Are there any waterfalls near where you live? No, just dams. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I know people who have had smaller works published, but calling them an "author" feels odd since it's not their actual career or anything. Is that rude? Do you own a polaroid camera? No, but that'd be cool. Do you think you’ll ever end up in rehab? No. Who’s your favorite Kardashian sister? I don't have an opinion. Is there someone you absolutely cannot stand but have to tolerate? My sister's husband. "Absolutely cannot stand" might be a bit strong, but... Do you want to go to pregnancy classes? If I was to ever be pregnant, no. My mom would be able to answer all things related to this, haha. Do you ever cringe at the thought of living in a disgusting house? Yes. What color are your bathroom towels? We have a variety. How often do you let cleavage show? I'm not very revealing, but I'm also not self-conscious of allowing some. Does vintage stuff appeal to you? Yes! Where do you want to go? I'd love to visit Sara again, but not so long as Covid hangs around. Have you ever had feelings for two people at the same time? Something like that with Jason and Juan before I chose Jason. I don't even really know if I like-liked Juan versus just being flattered by him. Would you ever throw out or give away something an ex gave you? I mean, what's the item in question? And are we on good terms (not that that would always matter)? What's the biggest annoyance in your life right now? Right now, Covid. I know, surprising I didn't say "not having a job," but so long Covid is an issue, I don't think I would be comfortable having one. I can't bring that shit home to my weak mother. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Mom. What do you want right this second? To actually be skinny again. It's hard to believe in my teens I thought I wasn't. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I'm actually quite the opposite... It's sad, I know I'd have less trouble losing weight if I could just stop drinking it regularly. Have you ever been afraid to get up and go to the bathroom? ... No...? Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? I don't believe so, no. Who’d you last see in a tux? Hm. Probably when I shot a wedding. Out of everyone you know, who has the most heart? Uhhhh I dunno. Who’s the bravest person you know? Probably my mom. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? Again, my mother. Have you ever dated someone who was really sporty? Nah. Are you any good at writing? I think so. What’s your favorite form of writing? I don't know if it counts as a "form" as much as it is a subject, but RP. Writing with characters you yourself have created and actually engaging with other's inventions is very fun. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? Yes, over things I'd said to Jason following the breakup. It literally took years because I was so convinced it was all justified. What did you dream about last night? I don't remember. Sure feels great though that my nightmares are chilling out. What profession do you admire the most? That's tough, but probably those that put their lives on the line for others, like firefighters. I also have massive respect for people like doctors, given all the time and work they put into their education to become one and help others. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? No. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Well, seeing as I was an initial homophobe that eventually realized I was bisexualllll... Do you have a garden at your house? No. Do you like making puppet figures with your shadow? When I was a kid, sure. Have you ever played strip poker or would you ever? No, but I won't say absolutely never if I was just with my s/o. It's not something I'm actually interested in doing, though. Would you date someone who didn’t want to have sex until they were married? Yep. Would you date someone who went to church on a regular basis? To be totally honest, I don't know if me and a person that actively religious would work out, but I'd try it, ig. What is your favorite curse word? I say "fuck" way too much lmao. It's an intense word and I'm a passionate person, lol. What movie do you know just about every line from? None. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. What are the three “nevers” of your life? To name just a few that I'm absolutely certain about, I'd never do hard drugs, commit murder (unless in self-defense, but is that even "murder?"), or abuse somebody. Last board game you played? I think it was "Sorry!" when I was babysitting Ryder. Last card game you played? Christ, Uno. My niece went through a phase of like obsessively playing it with me because I would let her win. Last thing you got for free? Christmas gifts. How long have you been tattooed? If you’re not, do you want to get tattooed? I got my first tat the day I turned 18. Last baby shower? My sister's last year. Last wedding? A repeat photography client's. Her family is lovely. Last funeral? I don't think I've been to a funeral (not wake) since I was maybe a preteen and my childhood babysitter died... It's sad that I didn't go to my grandmother's, but I didn't really have that choice. What is your band’s name? Or fantasy band ;)? Haha, my Rock Band one was "Bullets and Butterflies." How many different strip clubs have you been to? None. Do you have any nieces/nephews? Technically a lot, but only three are regular parts of my life. How many cars have you ever owned? Me personally, none. Can you do math in your head well? ABSOLUTELY not. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? I only care about the Ewoks ok. I'm not a fan of the franchise. Have you ever been to a bachelor/bachelorette party? No. Have you ever bailed anyone out of jail? No. Have you ever given someone a fake phone number? No. Do you have any bumper stickers on your car? N/A Have you ever gone golfing? Only mini-golfing as a kid. Well, and on an anniversary date with Jason. Actual golfing doesn't interest me. If you became famous for something, what would it be? To be entirely realistic versus idealistic, probably something I wrote. How many friends do you have that are married? A whole lot. Do you still have your wisdom teeth? Yes. When you were a kid, were you ever afraid of cooties? No, it was just a playful joke. Do you ever go Christmas caroling in December? No. Do you like mango? Mango flavored stuff, oh yes. I don't like actual mangos; they're too mushy. What was the last thing you got falsely accused of? I don't know. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. What does caffeine do to you? Nothing, really. I think I'm too accustomed to it being in my system. Would other people describe you as creative? Very. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Hm, maybe paint. Names of best friends you've had: Brianna, Kimberly, Jenna, Megan, Mini, Sara... I don't remember them all. Were you one of the smartest in your class? Through most of my school experience, yes. Will you let your kids have a YouTube channel, do you think? If I wanted kids, it would depend on their age and what they were making. Have you ever owned a designer purse? No. Do you like the taste of Tums? Taste, yes. Chalky texture, fuck no. I like the chewy ones, though. Are you currently learning a new language? No. What culture are you most interested in learning about? Maybe Indian? Do you own anything skull print? Oh, loads of stuff. Who are the three people you consider yourself closest to? Mom, Sara, and uh... Dad. Do you like crackers with your soup? Soggy crackers are gross. I don't really like soup, anyway. Which ex of yours means the most to you? Sara. What is something that never fails to make you feel accomplished? Cleaning. Do wooded areas freak you out in the evening or night? No, I love 'em. Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? No, I'm not comfortable with the idea of riding one. Do you iron any of your clothes? No. Do you think long, straight hair is pretty? Yes, if it's healthy. Do you have a fireplace in your home? Yes. Did you have a class pet in grade school? No. Have you ever owned an aquarium? No. Do you prefer mints or gum? I'd say gum. Popsicles or fudgesicles? Ohhh, fudgesicles. What is your favorite flavor of hot pockets? I only even moderately enjoy the ham and cheese ones. Do you like apple juice? Yeah, but there's definitely better juices.

[chezforshire]

character thing: if the hs kids had the ability to restart everything and make it so that the game never happened, which of them would do it and which of them wont?

john would, i think. he really loves his friends and would do a lot to keep them alive, and idk ig if it meant that they wouldn’t have the memories of dying or seeing everyone around them die he’d do it.

dave.... probably wont. he’s gotten that mindset of ‘what happened happened’ a lot bc thats kind of how he copes w stuff. being a knight of time kinda forced him to accept whatever happened to him in passing so really i dont think he would

jade................................. maybe? maybe not. she’s got a whole ‘it’s destiny’ thing too, prospit dreamer and all that. if she could change some stuff, she probably would just to save them all some grief. but still

rose is a toss up for me. she’s a martyr and all that bullshit, she’ll throw away the shit she got in exchange just for everyone to get better. but at the same time she’s incredibly selfish. she wouldnt give up the piece of happiness shes found just for some dumb normality

jane wont, maybe. mostly bc she doesnt want to tamper with shit like that. destiny or whatever can go fuck itself, she’s just worried about the consequences that might happen. might be better, might be worse. way worse. she’s not gonna gamble that.

dirk would. he’d give up his friends and all the comfort and connections he got in his life just so his friends would live better. ofc he’ll try to figure out if it’ll actually be better but mostly yes

jake.......... probably not, either? i don’t have a good grasp on him but he does like the adventure and all that. and most importantly, he has his friends. whatever bullshit that the game cursed them with he’ll deal w with the others

roxy might? i was gonna say no but then i remembered they were up for it when john said he could retcon stuff. but they might only say yes if there is an assured chance of everyone coming out alright. though maybe they wont either, bc they’ve finally gotten their friends around and they’d be kinda sad if they lost that

karkat.......... hm, maybe not. mostly bc the life he lives now -a life where he doesnt have to fear for his safety at every turn- is something he wanted. i mean, yeah, he feared his life at every step too in sgrub, but its over and now he’s in peace

kanaya maybe? she’s very selfless imo and would give a lot to keep her friends happy. but at the same time she wont jump on it bc shes also built a nice life that she didnt think shed have. and also like bein a prospit dreamer and ‘destiny’

i would put down some for rezi and vris too but im not as in the know of how theyd probably react to that. idk as just a general idea rezi might say yes but vris might say no. or vice versa? hm

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Fri 12 Apr

It's not exactly current events and there are lots of those today, but before we get there a moment to acknowledge the old but always timely posts that are circulating showing the leaked contracts that were given to America's Got Talent contestants. I can't cover it all here though I really want to and I encourage you to message me for the post but here is a snippet- “I hereby grant to Producer the unconditional right throughout the universe in perpetuity to use, simulate or portray my [name likeness image etc]..... [and they] may reveal or relate information about me of a personal, private, intimate, surprising, defamatory, disparaging, embarrassing or unfavourable nature, that may be factual or fictional."

I think I don't say it enough, because I don't think it helps in any particular way to keep saying it most of the time, but to be clear- Louis' situation is fucked. I hate seeing the things he has to do, now more than ever, I worry, and I am one of the many many people who would personally step up to do anything I could to make things better for him. Given that I can't, I try to do what I believe he is doing, which is to make the best of what can't be changed right now, and I have faith that the minute, the very minute there's an opening he will be there to snatch that chance, because he's sharp and strong and savvy. And when that day comes we will be here, as we are now, supporting him every step of the way; until then we will continue to do what we do and show our love and support however we can. He is so so seen and loved and he knows that and that's not nothing.

And remember, ALL of the boys signed those kind of contracts. ALL OF THEM. The fallout may not look the same in every case but I, for one, think it's relevant in each and every case. And with that in mind, let's move on to today's news!

Pics dropped near simultaneously of Louis and Harry, both back on the job. Louis was papped at Heathrow with Oli (today? when he left for Amsterdam? from the future? I don't have a crystal ball people idk but like probably just today) and pics were posted on ig of Harry at lunch in L.A. yesterday with a group of people that included Camille Rowe. Harry's hair IS SHORT. Yes friends, it's true, your Met Ball sugar baby hair dreams have been shattered (though what could be more camp than a wig honestly) and all that growing out has come to nothing in the end. Life is but pain and struggle. Do ya think Harry was just jealous of Louis' ability to confuse us by looking exactly the same in photos from now and 2-8 years ago? Imagine how freeing for him if we were unable to date pics of him! He's practicing by being seen with Camille, talk about throwback, but the HS rings are a giveaway this time around. (Camille was also spotted today, with her very publicly known boyfriend, fwiw.) Much significance was placed on the haircut from speculation about possible movie roles to worry that it meant a more het narrative for Harry (which is.. what?? But yeah). I don't know about that but I do know that the pics were immediately followed by Harry following gay playwright Jeremy O Harris on instagram. (And Jeremy followed him back and Harry followed someone named Molly and Molly followed Jeremy, it's just a big ol love fest I'm gonna assume there was mutual hanging out involved here) Anyway Jeremy O Harris is known for his plays "Daddy" and "Slave Play," which deal with race and bdsm themes, and he cowrote the upcoming film Zola about a stripper on a road trip.

Also on a road trip, Liam! (Yes I love an awkward segue, SUE ME) He's off on a well documented trip to Coachella (is there any other kind?) getting behind the wheel of an orange vintage VW bus and livestreaming its mechanical woes, then there's a gap in footage and a magical jump to shirtless Liam sitting on a bag of ice post arrival! I'm guessing they gave up on the WMYB lookalike bus (or as Liam calls it in a Zouis nostalgia inducing comment, the magical mystery machine) and like got a helicopter to come get them or something.

Other stuff, more prerecorded Louis things posting but nothing we haven't heard before being said, more talk about him NOT returning to TXF tho really it's just talk as of now, Arista created a new promo twitter and ig and posted a pic of their office walls ft a big glorious picture of Louis, and in our Good News Of The Day the After movie is getting absolutely trashed by everyone and looks set to do very poorly indeed, hooray! It's what she deserves.

[mangodestroyer]

You know, when people say that people look great with their natural hair color, I both agree and disagree. Cause I know plenty of people where it's like, "Yeah, that suits them." I mean, my sister, for instance, likes to wear darker colors, has dark brown eyes, ashy skin, and has somewhat wavy, black-brown hair. I literally can't imagine her with anything but her natural hair! And she agrees.

But my hair? Eh... I haven't dyed it in two years. It's mostly its natural color at this point. Which is a little weird to describe. I mean, it kind of grows in this medium-light reddish brown color, but rn it has some ginger and blondish highlights from the sun. And... and there's just something kind of dull about it? Like... it's red, but it looks like a washed out red color? So I sorta just look brunette too? But also golden? And murky? And my eyes are hazel, with light brown in the center and this weird green-grey and sometimes a little bluish color on the outside, and there's something about my natural color that also makes my eyes look more murky. And it doesn't seem to frame my face well either.

Look, I've straight up been told that my natural hair doesn't seem to suit me. By a handful of people. That I'd be better off with highlights or something more red. And in hs, I used to dye my hair a very reddish color. It looked really good on me! And people actually thought it looked more natural on me than my actual hair color.

Yeah, ig being off weed for three days is making me more aware of things I haven't been caring about. Like, wow. I need a haircut! Bad!

[fuckyeahexofics]

Fic Search #211

1.

191124. Hello! First of all thank you for all the work y'all put with this blog! I was looking for a fanfic that I can't find anymore, with Xiuho as the pairing. The fic was kind of a domestic xiuho, and starts with suho dropping a weight on his foot. Baekhyun is a new neighbour that flirts with suho as he stubbornly tries to do chores with his broken foot. I don't remember which platform it was posted on but yeah, thank you!

2. Acceptance by zhengxing 200426. SO SO SO GLAD you are back! I've missed you all so much and hope you're all doing so well!!! i've been trying to find this fic, and i THINK it was on ao3,and it was about yixing, he and baekhyun were together but he died and the fic was basically all the members last interactions with him. i remember in the xiuchen flash back, he wanted to hang as an exom thing but they said no. and ksoo's was about them not being that close... if you can help me i'd be so grateful!

3. What We Do in the Living Room by XiuChen4Ever 200429. Looking for this fic where I THINK cbx are roommates (not sure if Minseok is there and what he is ) but they’re not human. I believe bbh was a mummy and jongdae was a vampire and one scene baekhyun needs to dry his wrappings so he opens the blinds to dry himself out and jongdae complains because the light is streaming in. If you could help me find it, I’d be thankful

4. Bottoms Up by MitchMatchedSocks 200429. I’ve been searching for a fic, not 100% sure of the pairing but I think it’s Sehun and Jongin?? Maybe. Anyways the group of friends go to a bar and Jongin is a bartender giving shots if the person allows themself to be spanked on the bar and the two get into it. Do you have any idea what this might be? 🥺

5. 200501. Do you know that one fic where i believe it's chanyeol and sehun as the main characters, but one is the father and the other is the son, but they go on father and son dates and dress up?

6. 200429. do you know that one fic (i 'm like 99 % sure it is kaisoo..) but its a hs au, but one of them is also famous and hides it at school and like other was worried and he "the famous one" performed at the school one day?

7. 200501. I for the life of me cannot remember this fanfic i read, i found it on here though. but i believe it was either jongdae or junmyeon focused where he doesn't know who is mom is but he has powers and has to go to the palace or something, and their was a talk or something about his eyes being grey?

8. And Your Sexy Enemies Closer by MitchMatchedSocks 200503. hi there! I was wondering if you could find a kaisoo fic for me? I think it was loveshot!au?? I think the members were split into rival gangs/mafias. I can't remember much but I know there was smut and the members were chasing after jongin bc they wanted a capsule so jongin shoved it up his ass to hide it?? lol thank you so much!!

9. Wounded Pride by ShiningRose  200509. Hello, I'm looking for this fic. I believe its on lj(its an older fic and most of them are there on lj ig) but i know it had tao in the main pairing and i cant remember MUCH but i think he had a crush on sehun, it was abo. i remember he was an omega, and there was a scene in there where they talk about him getting a period and how he deals with it and i think sehun comes to help him with something because of that (?) anyways if i can help find it, thank you!

10. Optimum Temperature but it’s been taken down by the author  200511. Hi! Just want to ask if you’d know this old fic wherein Kris and Yixing are roommates. Kris is this sort of cold guy and says that he doesn’t like Yixing, but he’s unknowingly getting close to him. Kris and Tao get together and Kris consults Yixing all the time about his life matters. I remember that there was a sequel to it wherein Yixing and Junmyeon got together and Yixing was confused because Junmyeon doesn’t want anything from him. I hope you guys know this one hehe thank you sm!! ❤️

11. Everybody's Gonna Love You by zhyixingie 200511. I’m looking for this fic i read sometime ago, I believe it initially was chansoo, but they adopted hybrids [minseok and jongin] but Jongin was mean to minseok and chanyeol took minseok’s side and Kyungsoo Ji’s so they broke up and the fic was then a xiuyeol... and I think it ended with chansoo repairing their RS(?) ... I could have the pairings wrong... but the plot is that... TY!

12. D Is For Dysfunctional by bunbun28 200512. Do you know that baeksoo fic where baekhyun likes to suck kyungsoo's dick right before shows and there is this scene in there where he has to drink to to heal his throat and i think.... chanyeol or someone goes "you could tell him you're in love with him the next time you sick his dick"...? thank you!

13. 1) Cat and Mouse (Minseok/Jongdae, R) 

2) That Space in Time (Minseok/Jongdae, R) 200512. Looking for two fics, one is a xiuchen where jongdae has a crush on minseok but ms is dating luhan but he breaks up with him on their 3rd anniversary and xiuchen are coworkers and then they end up together at the end.. 2nd one is a cafe au fic, cant remember the pairing but some of the exo members are famous and in a band and i think bbh owns the cafe and has this rule if the famous person comes in they wont play their music anymore.... please help! thanks!

Thanks anons!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

weird to think back on things like the funky experience of being The All A’s/B’s gang and then The All A’s person during middle school and the Smart Kid designation cuz we all have a godawful time within the k-12 education system and also in Higher Education / academia as well and the setup isn’t like, good for anyone though natch between the “lack of attention / occasional positive attention” and “frequent / negative attention” ends of the experience the former is preferable; apparently weird to have been Good Student passing b/c again idk i have good retention and could memorize shit in homeroom for a quiz that day and that was great b/c actually i had godawful / nonexistent study habits and actually basically hated school and did anything last minute and all but like whatever, i could figure out / understand and remember shit more efficiently / faster than usual so like, idk, i’d get wild results ig. and anyways yeah Smart Kid throughout all of k-12 but like, although i don’t think i’m Not smart in any way, it’s like, but no i hated school and never really tried, that inferred correlation wasn’t there but like also there’s the weird Presumed Identity for you. and it Was weird b/c idk i was like, okay? “perpetually nebulous / imprecise / uncertain sense of identity” gang out here and i’m like hmm okay Am i “the good grades getter?” and then apparently you are cuz like welp that’s the Expectation, and also in my case i was also in the “oops let’s minimize ptsd party” gang of Gotta Get As/Bs motivation..............the point is like, it’s funny how despite that concept of what The A’s Getter is, by now i’m like oh but that’s not even like, my Main Thing, much less my Whole thing. my main thing is that i get wildly interested and passionate about stuff and when i’m really about shit i’m So about it and into it and all that yknow. and it’s like, would be cool if i hadn’t had to like, first fight past this arbitrary Assigned Box to even start to figure out what i’m Really like. but Schools aren’t out here about like allowing for people to be varied individuals and shit. plus, weirdly i’m not sure if i hadn’t had that “Positive” Label to supplant any others that my autistic ass would’ve been largely left alone as much as it generally was............even I didn’t get through middle school w/o some light bullying peppered in there but hey for the most part i got by. and like, i remember 15 was a time for a wild Agonizing Spike cuz that was the point i was having to try to settle on a college major and i was like bitch i don’t know!!! for starters how is every 19 / 20 y.o supposed to know!!! but like litchrelly a year and a half ago my ass was in middle school and barely had any opportunities to individually choose what to pursue, and even if i Had an interest i would sometimes assume if it didn’t seem like The Smart Kid choice i would just assume that like, my interest would only be Allowed to go so far. so yeah i’m 14-15 for the first time having a little breathing room and allowed to pick out my own shit and investigate various stuff (cuz of the luck of getting to live on campus aka parents are Not around and i can be around for more than just Classes) and yet like, that wasn’t enough time to suddenly Fully Realize The Whole Of My Own Identity And What My Actual Passions And Life Goals And Etc Are. plus i kinda remember that i figured i’d flunk out and so was kinda Not spending freshman year expecting to actually be able to do this college thing.....so yeah i always distinctly remember the Stress of sophomore year with this Timer counting down of “gotta declare a major oh god” and trying somehow to Realize What I’m Even Like (i did partially lmao outside of the Academic aspect of it) and obviously like, that’s a Lot.......................plus it was kind of doomed anyways cuz i do remember that when i even mentioned the fact of like “hey what if i majored in ______ [cuz i’m evidently actually like thinking social issues are what i’m thinking i could dedicate my attention to, i’m 15 idk trying to figure this shit out]” and it got immediately brushed off cuz of my mom’s assumptions about what i was like based on my being Smart(tm) and my not wanting to tell my parents about anything Actually about myself by that point so that was like..........well cool to know that that’s not an option for me anymore thanks to immediate dismissal........................like i totally remember that by sophomore year i was def Swiss Idol and “i don’t have a clue what to major in” was a big part of that 9_9...............and like, doing college early is kinda crazy but also Not having high school to mayyyybe figure things out for a bit before hurtling towards Declare Major at 92384 mph is like, would it have helped? who can say. but for example, i know Now i’m a theatre gay, and the limited number of friends-ish i made at college was basically all theatre gays what a surprise, but i myself didn’t ever touch that because i had No direct experience with it, because middle school didn’t have that extracurricular, and then being dropped into hs with people who did? i was like fuck i’m not auditioning for shit i really don’t know how to do. i’m not even Supposed To Be Here goddamn!! i can karaoke avpm in the first floor lounge that’s IT!! fuckin r.i.p. but i mean also i Know high school is it’s own fuckin mess that’s hardly like “flourish as individuals!!” all a sudden. like how i don’t know if i’d’ve been “solid B’s” gang if i would’ve had more room to just figure out my own shit earlier, or if things would’ve been even More miserable cuz of my replacement Type being something more frowned upon cuz weird loser was def waiting in the wings............and then of course Smart Kid expectation constraints wasn’t hardly the only issue in holding back that “oh wait but what am i like *Actually*” process cuz if i was in high school i would’ve been around my parents every day and That was just as much if not more a hindrance in figuring myself out. like going to college may have been useful in that yes i did learn shit but if nothing else i am glad for it b/c the strides i made in “god damn i have to get away from these people (my parents lmfao)” and knowing at least that i’m not Like what THEY thought i was like was E ssen tial Knowledge..........but anyhow like the point of looking back on this shit isn’t to figure out How To Have Run The Perfect Course cuz obviously what’s the point in imagining as broad a what-if, but it’s good for Understanding shit currently..........like oh yeah this crap probably Affected me!! and you gotta know the history to understand the present...............it’s just really wild how like, Passion and (rarely activated) Energy And Intense Interest is like, what i consider my Thing now, and that was like. not what i ever heard anyone else tell me that’s what i’m Like, like, ever basically. i mean not that i don’t think i’m Not smart. it’s just like, not my whole thing and it just kinda feels more incidental, right. What If the whole time i’d been able to pursue whatever i felt like is a wiiiiiiiild question i don’t even know. there’s been so Little of that that’s its absolutely off the shits to be able to put together “oh right i’ve been a theatre gay all along” and “actually i Have performed on stage a decent number of times and supremely thrived in those experiences and i Know i was interested cuz i wished like (@ my family: dni)” and have this very simple (and thus far unusable) Knowledge about something i actually like and am interested in, cuz for the most part it’s [??? ?? ? ?? ???]

on a shorter but related note: the Camaraderie i feel with everyone in the “either has or wants to or would even seriously consider Cutting Ties with parent/s" gang and like, always very Interested in the various experiences within this v broad category. cuz there are so many factors playing into Why you’re in this group and then there’s so many factors in regards to whether someone actually feels able to ditch a ‘rent or two, and then beyond that, all the factors in whether someone’s actually able to............like, knowing that it’s never “lucky” to have to be in this group in the first place, i fairly am Lucky about it in many ways cuz, first of all, lucky to have been able to actually execute [eff off from parents] maneuver, and lucky to get to Know that’s what i totally needed to do........we are all Valide in how we try to deal with relations w/ parents that are so bad you even have to think about “maybe i have to Not Have This Person In My Life At All” and like, when people are dealing with that but Don’t feel they have the option to truly cut that parent or two out of their life, that’s like, well as someone who once felt that way and can Empathize and yet also had these Factors Line Up which let me peace out which aren’t factors that are in play for everyone (as well as a lack of other factors which Are relevant for others and which might mean Leaving Behind Parent/s 5eva isn’t an option they’d consider) it’s like Oh wow, let me hear more about that experience. tldr the camaraderie

oh and ps. it’s funny how like, in my post-being-in-school life, i thiiiiiiiink people usually probably assume i’m Kinda Dumb if anything. cuz the Grades don’t exist anymore but i’m still autistic!!!!! which is another wild factor in thinking about like “well what if [some aspect of my life] had been entirely different, hmmm” cuz it’s like. well i’d’ve still been autistic lmao..............the Social shit has like, been an issue even before the other usual shit in school cuz i Knew i wasn’t fitting in at preschool when all we were doing was like, learning colors and going outside. and it always was a bit distressing to me Never really having more than a couple friends and even then not that close or anything, right? and also how i’d try to Fix this with various strategies and trying out different situations like “oh well i’m not putting myself out there i’ll put myself out there” [tries it and it half-backfires] or “well if i’m spending a weekend with people who know me from Online they’re gonna like me for sure” [majority of ppl in a sub Friend Group i’m peripheral to and i’m intermittently stressed the whole time] “Ah Fuck” lmao and honestly only recently am i like oh right..............when you’re autistic socializing just in a very fundamental way is really like That*.................(*a way i can’t easily explain lmao)............like really just in mad recent times kind of realizing like, oh, okay, i don’t think i can ever Adjust My Approach and just suddenly become good at Easily Makes Friends and that kind of shit..............finally just kinda realizing like ohh right okay i really just do Not do “normal good conversation” like you’re supposed to and that’s just chill The Way It Is not necessarily “not good enough at it” way but It Just Is Different way like........yeah it can be Not Pointless to try to modify your social approach and that’s true for absolutely anyone, but like say, if i’m like oh if i simply get Better at [social interaction task] i will then finally be Good at it, it’s like, shit well that’s honestly just not how it works for me. like, #getting how after a point it’s like “okay learning to do [task] in a way that’s more [like this] is maybe gonna be better for Masking / seeming allistic but like, not for Actually giving me a social experience that’s more fulfilling for Me.” Plus, it’s like, i’m also way more (or okay at least As Much) socially limited by external factors, probably. 

pps oh and also, tangentially related b/c Autistique, it’s wild how every time you delve into (something At All specific about autism) you’ll probably learn something Utterly new about autism which is like god damn this isn’t That niche why haven’t i heard this!! why do i have to know there are 538 other would-be “i should already know this” revelations waiting for me about this topic cuz you have to manage to dig up this stuff on your own and dodge all the unhelpful bullshit types of sites where it’s Not about info from people / for people who are autistic? please. it’s almost like this is a constant and important part of my identity that affects p much every aspect of my life and is helpful to hear others’ info about the collective experience of it b/c like, it’s literally all in your own head and you can’t just somehow Know the ways you’re different in that realm just from emergent traits you can pick up on and figure out. ugh!!!! anyways

this is LONG but NO readmore b/c eh. who am i if not [i hope everyone hates my blog this week.jpg] every week

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hey! So sorry for replying late, a lot has happened these past couple of days D: but I hope you've been doing good! (I say as if I've been gone for months aksjdf) anyway, yeah, they're definitely scary. I think it'll be worth being able to be that soft and open with someone though. And I'm glad it did have a positive impact on you! Even if they were hard you came out stronger or wiser in some way. And thank you, you're so sweet :') So do you hon ❤️

hey honeymoon! sorry for taking my time to respond, i hope everything’s been alright with you! 

(2) Terushima really does just seem like a big dork who loves volleyball haha. I feel like his initial vibe would make me not want to interact v much lol but once you get to know him he's actually a good person. and that tongue piercing tho 👀. "that one definitely hurts a lot more than Falling does" then I think I'm good for awhile hahaha. I've already read a sad hospital AU so I'm going to stay FAR away for now. Honestly I wish there was an interesting story behind it but there's not :')

(3) basically I had an art blog and the name of it was kind of a pun with the word "honeydew." but that nickname was already taken and I wanted to be ~original~ sso I didn't want to use it lol. I still liked the honey aspect though and I thought Honeymoon sounded cute. I'm also kind of a secret hopeless romantic and at the time I kept my identity on my art blog a secret, so it kind of felt like an "alter ego" of mine? long story short I liked the nickname and it kinda stuck haha

ok i mean, to be fair, he was super aggressive when he was meeting kiyoko. but i definitely feel like there’s that dorky side to him LMAO.

oooof idk if I can handle any angst rn tbh so i can definitely relate 😭 

that’s honestly such a cute story though??? like, that’s literally so freakin’ adorable. what type of art did you use to do? (and honestly girl, this whole blog is on the DL and i tried super hard to keep it hidden from my life LOL).

there’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though! it gives you a chance to day-dream hehe 💞 what’s your favorite romantic trope? it could be as cliche or non-cliche as you’d like! 

(4) "i’m sorry for being a sadistic fk 🥰" 😀 something tells me you're kind of not LOL (really though I know you're sweet and don't actually want to hurt people akdhf) and honestly I'm glad you decided to expand on it! Chapter one is also great as a standalone but I'm so grateful for the rest so far, and you're doing an amazing job with it love 💖 I understand the chara x chara thing. I don't know if I've ever actually shipped anything to the point of me /wanting/ it to be canon

(6) like, it'd be cool if it was, but I don't actually care y'know? unless it was actual romantic tension built up in the movie/book/series. Fanart and fic is what mostly got me lol. I think the HQ fandom is super diverse/creative in its shipping. Not only because of an incredible story with great characters, but great fans and creators as well. And yes! someone else who likes KuroIwa!! I think that ship is really cute (and they're my top 2 faves so I'm biased haha) have you seen neutinya's art?

i swear i’m nice 💞 thank you so much for the love!! 🥺 i’ve been having writer’s block for a bit, and your comments have honestly motivated me to write so much more for it LOL

i definitely agree though, like, i can’t aggressively fight for one ship over another because it’s literally just not canon. it just feels wrong to “shove that agenda”, so to speak. but it’s always interesting to see all the different character combinations. i never would’ve imagined half of the ones out there if not for this fandom LOL

neutinya’s literally why I have a thing for KuroIwa!! LMAO. i really like the art that they put out. same with bright_stars_45 on IG. Their stuff is literally why i ship Bokuaka soooo hard. 

(7) (did I skip 5?) I really hope I'm numbering those right it's 12:30 am here lol. anyway, it's probably a good thing you weren't in the fandom then. I don't know how it is now, but it was p chaotic and toxic and there was actually controversy surrounding one of those fics. I'm sorry about you and your sister love :( I don't know if you'd ever want to have a strong one with her but I hope you do if you do! and if not then there will always be people you share that with, blood or not 💕

LOL you did skip 5, but it’s okay bby 💖 it’s not too serious tbh. i’m not really close to my family, so i’ve always believed in the “my family is the one’s i choose, not necessarily the one’s i’m blood-related to” :) 

(8) Piglet has always been my fave, but Eeyore and Lumpy are also great. do you have any favorite characters or ones that mean a lot to you? and that's really cool too!! I know being mixed can get super complicated but knowing you have all of those cultures in you in some way is pretty amazing. Honestly I've been undecided for the past 2 years but after everything going on in 2020, I've felt this need to release the truth? no matter what that may be. I know a lot of people say journalism 

(9) isn't an honest profession but, and this will sound arrogant, I want to change that. Even if that just means me being an independent journalist while being an editor to make a living, I'm okay with that. Also it can give you the opportunity to travel, and writing has always been my strong suit. socio is so I can have a better understanding of the world and learn to be less biased and more objective and understanding. What about you? :O

my favorite Disney character is honestly Tiana from Princess and the Frog! her hard-working story is hella relatable to me, and it inspired me to be better for myself if that makes sense? 

TBH the most annoying part of being mixed is being called eXoTiC by guys who are tryna sleep with me 💀 there’s definitely a lot of fetishization about it lol

i hella respect that! the need to release the truth. journalism is honestly a raw and authentic profession that people underestimate because they read from biased sources or the things they read isn’t accurate. i have mad respect for you for following that career path! if there’s anything i could do to help, lmk love 💖 TBH, i chose business because i wanted to open my own business and i love psych because i love understanding the world and the people in my lives. psycho-analysing is one of my hobbies hehe. so similar as to why you did socio!

(10) and yes!!!! tbh I've always liked theatre but was never really one for the stage. I was in a child friendly version of macbeth in 6th grade and that was it lol. In my senior year of high school I performed a slam poem about my depression and my teacher called me emotionally constipated lmaoo. and because of how hs went down for me I never got to take classes anyway. I started getting into sfx/film makeup though and I really want to do that! I also just love the energy of backstage tbh

(11) this is getting really long akfdjh. but yeah I want to learn more! I'm actually kind of struggling in my stage management class right now because I honestly don't know much about theatre so it's overwhelming. I haven't even seen a lot of shows (I did see The Lion King when I was a kid though!! and a few hs productions). enough about me though, what's your favorite part, or what are some of your best memories? I love seeing that it makes you so happy :D

omg i’m so sorry that your teacher called you that. that’s so inappropriate, especially considering the subject matter. i hope that you’ve had a more positive experience involving your work since then. if you ever want to talk about your struggle, please feel free to reach out, ok? 

you must be pretty talented with makeup though! that’s so cool 🤩 i’ve always admired sfx and people who are talented with makeup tbh. what’s your favorite part about it so far? 

i was fortunate enough that my hs had a super talented theatre program that i could be a part of. i had the opportunity to be in both tech, management, and on-stage. i honestly really enjoyed being behind-the-scenes in the management part! it was so great seeing a production from start to finish and knowing that i was involved with that process. i’m a huge theatre nerd tbh 😅 i love watching shows like Phantom of the Opera, Hamilton, RENT and I’ll routinely watch them haha. 

[kimdelafuente]

CARPE DIEM, BABY

Delivering you with some ultimate, neglected high school detention drama in the mid 80′s.

Have you guys seen The Breakfast club? Well if you already did, this is sorta... Inspired by it? Maybe? It’s not actually like their outfit or something but the vibes itself.

That bench and those criss–cross thingy caught me and my old school self responded with an old school outfit habit that I’ve always been kickin. If you’ve been reading here, you’ll get it. Maybe its my wishful thinking of what if I’m living on a different era or maybe just I’m an old school rebel.

That scenery really talked to me, the vibes were really dreamy. *at least for me* there’s this football field where the jocks play and you’re just supposed to sit there because you’re asked to. Drinking your large soda with some nachos and hotdogs, wishing your crush from the field look at you. Yeah, the dream.

70′s, 80′s, and 90′s are my biggest influence when it comes to everything. I like their vibes. It’s so easy going. Sometimes its bold. Its different. It’s like being unprepared yet it kicks ass. It doesn’t give any rules, you can snatched everything in your closet and put it all together and it’ll look good. Maybe that’s why I snatched that shorts I’m wearing.

Those pants were my daddy’s old shorts way, way back when he was around high school or college. I’m really glad he kept it because i love men’s walking shorts *insert the shy emoji* It’s a good way that not only you can wear your mom’s, sisters, brother’s or boyfriend’s clothes, you can also wear your dad’s. Hahaha! Instead of going with mom jeans, these months its been a thing so making my way the other way around, I’m kicking my dad’s closet.

Without anymore words to not understand, scroll down to see the pictures.

All photos were taken by Anthony Abad.

I kind of decided what goes in the shirt and picked “carpe diem, baby” from a song title from metallica. I doesn’t pretty much look like I like songs like that, but swear, I do. 

On me:

Red Bandana from idk

Mustard Sunnies from Aggy.ph on ig

Black & Gold Shoelace bracelet from Rastaclat

Apollo Bracelet from Calypso PH 

“Carpe Diem, Baby” Ringer tee from Bcs.ph on ig

Dad Jeans from My dad *his hs pants*

Mustard Socks from Some goodies I found

Old Skool Sneakers from Vans

I really loved how 80′s kid this kim turned out to be. This really gives me the feels of being in an 80′s movie. Well have you thought of that too?Will you grab some clothes from your dad too? If yes then what will they be? Let me know on the comment section below.

If you wish to be notified when I post crap here, subscribe with the box appearing houdini as you scroll.

Take care ya little bastard.

— The queen of the damned.

Anthony’s IG and Portfolio 

[annabelharmony]

i liked this one

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52,000+ online now

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like advice.

Stranger: hello

Stranger: here to help

You: ok

You: well this a super minor problem

Stranger: sure

Stranger: what is it?

You: yk the live omegle

Stranger: yeah

You: I meet guys on ther

You: I get their snap

You: They want me for nudes

You: Most of the time I give them

You: Either I offend them or they get bored or smth and unadd me

You: Or we just consistentely send nudes and I get bored

Stranger: i see ...

Stranger: so ... do you want advice on how to create a healthier relationship with people of the opposite sex?

Stranger: or ..?

You: ig

You: I just kinda wanted to rant and get advice on whatever

Stranger: that's okay

Stranger: that's why i'm here

Stranger: first things first, though ...

Stranger: ... there are much better ways to meet guys then sending nudes

Stranger: but i'm sure you know that already

You: well everyone on here is horny as shit

Stranger: yeah lol

You: and for rn I cant just meet people

You: I dont get invited to parties and stuff in general

Stranger: yeah but there are other online platforms were you can meet guys that are as ... sexually active as the ones on Omegle

You: so when Im bored and go on here I expect they want me for nudes even if its not explicitly said

You: sexually active people?

You: on here?

You: idk

You: people on here are sketch virgins

Stranger: well i mean like you said, everyone here is horny af, and you're right

Stranger: i guess that's what i meant

You: so why would they ask for my snap if they didnt want nudes?

You: idk but its kinda of annyoing

Stranger: well, the guys that hangout here on omegle want you snap for nudes, but not all guys that you meet that ask for your snap want nudes

Stranger: you know what i'm saying?

You: do you think people cope with minor things better if they talk about it or they pretend like it never happened

You: yeah i get it

Stranger: i think you should always talk about it

Stranger: because if you don't that minor thing will get bigger and bigger until you can't deal with it anymore

Stranger: it just becomes too much

You: like I feel kinda bad even if this is a really small thing

You: there was this guy who was kind of annyoing but he wanted nudes and i liked him

You: I asked him for his dick size after he sent me nudes I dont know why

You: and then I said aw ok, as in like I liked it

Stranger: i think all you need is more self-confidence

You: but it came across as super mean lol

You: and he blocked my ass

Stranger: like if i asked you for nudes right now, would you send them to me?

You: I have so much confidence you dont even know

You: no

You: bc I know nothing about you

Stranger: but do you really know the guys your sending the nudes to?

Stranger: they just see you as an easy target

Stranger: someone who will give them want they want

You: I think youre right

Stranger: but you shouldn't live to give these horny bastards what they want

You: But I dont see myself as an object really

Stranger: you should be living to help you

You: i willingly give that to them its my desicison

You: which i dont know is good

You: I hate saying no to people especially if I kind of want it

Stranger: but all they get is a few naked pictures of you and that's it

Stranger: no special connection is made

Stranger: so you basically are just a tool for them to use, even if it's your own decision

You: should I do it?

Stranger: lol and i'm not trying to be mean. i'm sorry if it sounds like i am

You: even if I want it

You: no youre right

You: I see what you mean completely

Stranger: well even if you want it, you need self-control

Stranger: if started telling you how pretty and hot you are

Stranger: and then showed you a pic of like my dick or something

Stranger: would you be inclined just to give away a photo of your naked body that will stay on the internet forever?

You: well it depends

Stranger: on what? my dick lol? sorry sorry

You: No lmao idc

You: but I needed some brief interaction ig

You: and no I dont trust this site

Stranger: if you don't trust the site, why are you giving naked photos of yourself to people who use the site?

You: not this site the other one

Stranger: oh you mean the live one?

You: which is a stupid reason ik

You: But this one is sketchier??

You: I dont know how thats possible

You: the other one is pretty bad

Stranger: look, tbh, both of them are really kinda nasty

Stranger: this advice place is one of the few innocent places

You: haha never

Stranger: and i'm sure there are still some nasty people

Stranger: yeah lol

You: are you a guy or a girl

Stranger: guy

You: I think what you said is what I wanted to hera

You: or more like what I needed to hear

Stranger: good

You: but I dont know I guess Ill do it less

Stranger: please, you're worth more than just someone who sends their body to complete strangers

Stranger: you're better than that

You: I dont think that makes me less of a person

You: I think theres this double standard where girls are forced to send nuds

You: and they cant just be chill about it

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: the whole society's fucked up

You: like guys sending their dps isnt a big deal theyre still worth something

You: but I dont know why I do it

You: if Im horny or seeking approval

You: Ig Ill do it less

Stranger: yes please do

You: but Im still doing it occasionally

Stranger: if you're seeking approval, you're seeking it from the wrong people

You: it kind of stimulates me

You: thats why Im on here

Stranger: i understand

Stranger: but if you're horny, you could always just like watch porn or something

Stranger: or does that not have the same effect for you?

You: I feel lonely

You: I used to watch porn more

Stranger: i'm sorry

Stranger: i wish there was someone you could trust

You: Im not that lonely

You: I just send nudes bc Im lonely

You: sex and relationship wise

You: I didnt spell that right

Stranger: it

Stranger: it's okay

Stranger: i wish i could help you more than just telling you stuff

You: no youre helping me

You: Just thing is when I dont have it I miss it

You: The nudes I mean

You: But I DO feel used

Stranger: you don't like feeling used, right?

You: and I dont know how much I care

You: well I dont think about it

Stranger: but you do after the fact, right?

Stranger: like, sure you might not feel used when you're doing it, but once it's already done and you look back at what happened, you feel used, right?

You: sometimes I think its fun

You: But its kind of like porn

You: Theres a limit to it

Stranger: yeah ... it is

Stranger: i mean you're basically giving away pictures of your body to these random dudes on the internet for free

Stranger: who knows what they'll do with those photos

Stranger: again, don't wanna sound mean

You: ok Im just gonna be honest Im not even in hs and Ive sent nudes to like 8 different fucking people

You: no youre right

You: which I dont think is a huge deal

Stranger: wait how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

You: But its not like Im profiting of off it

You: too young for this convo

Stranger: so ... like ... less than 18?

You: I dont like telling people

You: Bc either they skip me or they stay and theyre pedos

Stranger: Uh ... you do know that what you're doing is illegal, right? If you're under 18 and you're giving nude photos to grown-ass men, that's child pornography ...

You: no

You: theyre my age

Stranger: oh

Stranger: well, on the one hand, thank god

Stranger: but on the other, well ... it still doesn't sit right with me

You: what doesnt sit right

You: also do I sound like im older than 18? I think I sound pretty young

Stranger: it's just i wish you didn't feel like you had to send nudes to fulfill some desire you have within you. no i thought you were pretty young, which is why i'm more concerned. we're probably the same age

You: how old are you

Stranger: 16

You: well heres my thing

Stranger: ?

You: I dont know if I should keep doing this

You: like sending nudes

You: Bc there was a period where I wasnt doing it

Stranger: yeah. please don't do it anymore

You: and I really didnt like it

You: Ok I'll do it less

You: and if it comforts you at all I will be kind of reminded of you before it happens

You: not to be weird

Stranger: no it's okay. that's good i guess

Stranger: i have to go now

Stranger: i'm sorry

You: ok see ya

Stranger: i wanted to help you more

Stranger: but ... sorry

You: yeah thanks you helped a lot

Stranger: alright

You: bye

Stranger: stay safe