#and you may not see it well but some shoulder freckles

[grandline-fics]

Terms of Endearment

DESCRIPTION:  You call them by a term of endearment without realising 

WARNINGS: just fluff, mentions of alcohol in Luffy's

CHARACTERS: Ace, Sabo, Luffy | Law, Kid, Shanks, Marco, Zoro

WORDS: 1,933

A/N: The next part in this in honour of reaching 500 followers. Hope you all enjoy

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

MASTERLIST | PROMPT LIST

———————

ACE

You knew nothing would ever happen between you and the Division Commander. You knew he was just a likeable guy who was friendly and warm with everyone. Countless times you told yourself that he was just nice with everyone and yet still you couldn’t help but feel your heart beat just a little faster when he smiled at you and you couldn’t stop yourself from liking him a little more each time he spoke with you and spent time with you outside of chores and tasks being done onboard the ship. It didn’t matter though, even with the knowledge nothing romantic would happen you were happy to be considered a close friend of Ace’s.

One morning you were perched on the edge of the ship’s railing and keeping a critical eye on the thick wall of cloud draped over the entirety of the sky above the next island you were approaching. It made a stark difference to the clear blue you and the rest of the crew were currently under. You were no stranger to the absurdity of the ever changing weather and separate climates certain islands had but seeing what you were going to be greeted with was starting to sour your mood. It wasn’t as fun stopping at an island if there was a storm to endure.

“Glaring at the clouds won’t make them change you know.” You looked over your shoulder to see Ace hop up onto the railing and sit down beside you. Glancing out of the corner of your eye you were jealous of how relaxed he was and let out a long sigh as you returned your stare to the clouds you could now see were darker than you had originally thought. 

“Who knows, stranger things have happened on these seas.” You mused, scowling harder now that the idea was in your head. “Maybe I have the ability to control weather and neither of us knew it? Don’t know unless I try.”

From beside you Ace laughed, reclining back to support his body on his elbows and grinned up at you. 

“If that were possible, that’d be a pretty dumb gift. Glaring at clouds to make them obey you? You’d get a headache all day.” You rolled your eyes and laughed, getting more comfortable too, lying down and tucking your arms behind your head. 

“Look we can’t all be super amazing and control fire like some people, Ace.” You teased, a small yawn breaking from your lips as your eyes closed. You were still a ways away from the stormy island so you may as well make the most of the sunshine and warmth until then. “Some of us are just boring.”

“I definitely wouldn’t call you boring.” Ace told you. Safely in the knowledge that you couldn’t see him, he could observe you carefully with softened gaze. “You’re one of my favourite people to hang out with.” 

“Aw thank you love, you always know just what to say.” Your relaxed smile brightened considerably but you were too drowsy to open your eyes again to look at the man beside you. It was also why you hadn’t realised your slip of the tongue. Ace however tensed and sat up a little straighter from his once relaxed position. His eyes were widened and a soft pink was dusting his freckled skin. All this time he’d thought his feelings were one-sided and now he was hit with the reality that it might not be the case. Overcome with a burst of excitement and hope he quickly lay back down and used his hat to hide his giddy expression and began to think about how to subtly broach the subject when you were awake.

SABO

“You’re not going to improve if you don’t keep your focus.” Hack lectured, swiftly knocking Sabo back with ease. Sabo managed to recover from the attack and retaliated with one of his own that was completely dodged to the point it made the attack look so pitiful. Hack paused in the sparring match to frown at the younger Revolutionary. “Seriously, what’s with you today? Do you need to take a break?” Quickly Sabo shook his head and forced himself to keep his attention on Hack but even then he couldn’t help but feel your presence silently calling to him. 

You were oblivious to the power you had over the Chief of Staff, even from the very first day you joined the Revolutionary Army you’d somehow managed to make Sabo immediately endeared to you. Given Sabo’s personality he was able to pass off his momentary slips and lack of concentration when you were around and for the most part others hadn’t made the connection. Most being the word. People like Hack, Koala, and Dragon however knew. Normally Hack wouldn’t mind and ignore it but this was the third time in the short amount of time of the sparring match that he’d seen Sabo zone out and look your way as you were speaking with Dragon about a recent mission you’d been on. Enough was enough. After knocking Sabo onto his back, Hack turned and called you over. You finished your conversation with Dragon and approached the sparring pair with a soft, expectant smile while Sabo got to his feet. “I want you to spar Sabo with me. Perhaps having two opponents will help sharpen his dulled senses.” 

You became concerned to hear Hack’s less than complimentary tone at the blond and you looked to Sabo with a light frown, scrutinising his features carefully. Could it be he was sick? Was something else be bothering him? It wasn't like the Chief of Staff to be so distracted especially when it came to his training. At the suggestion of you fighting along with Hack, Sabo’s expression became a mix of uncertainty and irritation. He didn’t want to spar against you but he couldn’t outright deny Hack requesting you join them given he had no real reason to oppose it. Sabo could only take a breath and adjust his stance while praying he didn’t make an embarrassment of himself.

At first having you as part of the fight helped Sabo when it came to focusing on the fight, by having two skilled fighters attacking he didn’t have the ability to pay attention to his personal feelings. However when he kept his sight on Hack as the priority he’d slipped up and forgotten you. You took the window of opportunity and ducked under Sabo’s arm, your face less than inch from his. Quickly you hooked her arm around his and tucked your foot around his ankle, twisting and knocking him to the ground. You kept a firm hold on Sabo’s wrist and pressed your knee into his back. “Give up sweetie?” you asked innocently, unable to see Sabo’s eyes widen. Before he could respond you were abruptly called for by another Revolutionary to go out on a mission. Pouting you released Sabo and left him and Hack. 

“Please tell me I didn’t imagine that…” Sabo uttered, almost begging Hack. He looked up to see the Fishman grin at him and help him to his feet. 

“No I heard it too. Funny thing is I don’t think they noticed they did it.” Sabo watched your retreating form and brightly smiled. 

“Interesting.”

LUFFY

For the most part Luffy can be considered fairly clueless about a lot of things if they don’t involve his ambition to be King of the Pirates and obtaining the One Piece, doing whatever he wanted and eating all he wished. That included his own deeper feelings at times. However no matter how complex Luffy’s emotions were about certain things he found it easier to break them down into more simplistic views and gain a better understanding about them. He found he had to do that with you and the longer you were part of his crew the more he had to take an inward look at his feelings. So far he was able to discern that he liked you, he liked being around you and it was mutual because you’d been all too eager to join his crew. For the longest time it was simple as that. 

Things however became complicated one night after he and the rest of the crew helped free another town from a corrupt ruler. As always the celebration was a large affair with plenty of food, music and drink. While Luffy wasn’t a drinker and happily indulged in all the food he could get his hands on, you were pulled into a drinking contest with some of the locals along with Nami, Zoro, Franky, and Usopp. You’d managed to hold your own for a respectable amount but when you felt the world being to tilt and your mind grow hazy you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle anymore. 

Staggering from the table you somehow managed to wander to the only spot you knew you’d feel completely safe and content with. You didn’t know how you managed it, call it instinct or sheer will but you stopped beside your Captain and slid down to sit on the soft grass beside him, leaning against his back for support. Luffy looked over his shoulder to grin at you before continuing to eat. “You lost huh?” he laughed before taking a large bite of a meat skewer.

“It’s cheating when Zoro plays.” You grumbled, shifting to get more comfortable against your Captain. “He’s so smug too. Didn’t even wanna win anyway.” You fell into soft laughter with Luffy and then drifted into content silence. Subconsciously Luffy moved while he ate, seamlessly turning so you were leaning against his side and neither of you seemed to even notice the new position.

When morning came and you woke with a hangover and lack of memory you let out a worried groan, hoping that whatever you’d done wasn’t too embarrassing or at the very least you hoped that everyone else was also too drunk to remember too. Wincing you pushed yourself up to see that you were in your own bed. Hazily you tried to force your brain to work and managed to pull out the image of Luffy which made sense, he was your go-to for anything. Knowing he didn’t drink, you knew you could also rely on him for the truth on what you failed to remember. You found Luffy sitting on Sunny’s head just as you knew he’d be but you became worried to see him frowning, deep in thought. “Everything okay Luffy?” you asked, flinching when Luffy’s head swiftly snapped around to look at you intently. 

“No! You’re not allowed to call me that.” Immediately worry and guilt took hold. What had you done? Would he ever forgive you? Oh no, what if it was so bad he’d kick you off of the ship for good. 

“Wh-what do you mean?“ You asked panicked and feeling sick which was not from the hangover. “Whatever I’ve done I’m sorry but I don’t remember. Please tell me what I did wrong. I can fix it.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Luffy’s expression became confused. “I’ve just decided that you can’t call me Luffy anymore I like what you called me last night after I helped you to bed better.” 

“Oh…” you couldn’t tell what you were feeling in that moment exactly. Desperately you tried to think what you called him, silently thankful that whatever it was hadn’t offended him. “Well if you want me to call you that instead you have to remind me.”

“You called me dear.” Luffy grinned while your face reddened.

[obiscribbles]

Week 15 - July 9th, 2023 'Two Men in Love' - The Irrepressibles Spotify / YouTube

As the song says. They’re in love, your honor.

Enjoy~ 🧡

View a week early on my Patreon!

[bettysupremacy]

Omg imagine james doing something stupid (not much imagination needed there) and r is telling him of (lovingly) and he’s just like “yes ma’am🫡” and the others are like side eyeing him I just NEED james to call me ma’am in an argument

i hope you are having a great december so far my love

(not much imagination needed there) LOL

i could kiss you this idea is so cute thank you lovely

“Oh, my boy.” You croon to the mess tumbling into your lap. Softly, you brush some hair from his fluttering eyes. “What‘ve the evil twins done to you.”

“Evil twins!” Sirius gasps.

Remus laughs. “That’s a new one.”

You don’t look up from the sickly boy careening for your touch. “What did they feed you?”

He moans into you, muttering something you can’t pick up. He’s gone all right, ten shades of flushed and warm to the touch. It’s already a warm night, but this is no warmth that came naturally.

“We didn’t do anything.” Remus denies impishly.

“Puking pastilles again?” You eye them. “Do you know how long we sat by the toilet?”

“That was not our fault.”

“And neither were the nosebleed nougats?” You sigh. “Seriously thought his brain was coming out his nose.”

Sirius nods in agreement nose scrunching. “Not his finest moment.”

“Because of you.”

“Don’t start with me, woman.” His finger points between your eyes.

James is malleable under you, nose pressing into your thigh coyly. You see the corner of a smile as you fuss, guilty pleasure at your roaming touch. The room is hot, warm bodies passing and going as they please through the small flat. You fear he may run a fever, though that’s uncommon. James immune system is a rock, solid at anything thrown to it.

You press your hand to his forehead. “Has he had to much?”

The boys eye each other suspiciously. “Too much?”

You scoff. “To drink?”

“Depends.” Sirius shrugs

“On what!”

Their dubious behavior alarms you. These boys are up to something, or rather, were up to something, and now they’re avoiding dealing with the consequence of you.

“The substance.”

“Substance?” You sit up straight, shuffling the boy under you. He grumbles in protest.

“Potion.” Remus gives.

You frown apprehensively. “You didn’t.”

“We didn’t,” Sirius starts.

“he did.” Remus finishes.

Felix Felicis. They’d been talking about it a couple weeks ago, getting their hands on some. You protested, begged them, to forget it. It’s too dangerous, your voice of reason lowered their spirits, James you’ll be sleeping on the couch if you risk yourself like that.

“No,” You whine, fretting over the intoxicated fool. “how much?”

“Ask loverboy.”

“The whole,” James takes a deep breath mid sentence. “bottle.”

“Oh my god,” your eyes wide at the older boys standing. “he’ll be puking all night.”

“Maybe not..”

Your face drops into your hands exhausted. “Puking Pastilles all over again.”

“M’sorry.” James moans under you. “M’so sorry, lovely.”

“That was so stupid.” You scold lightly, hand coming down to flatten over his collar bones. “So, so, so, stupid!”

You're ruffled, shaken at the thought of him downing such an expensive, easily tainted, potion.

“Do you listen to everything they tell you to do?”

“No,” he starts slowly.

“Seems like it.” You bristle, pulling him up to sit. You look into his eyes seriously and he shuffles, nervous under your gaze. “Get a mind of your own.”

His fingers twitch at the hem of the dress you’d picked out tonight, squeezing it in his grip, grounding himself in reality. “Yes ma’am.”

Sirius scoffs behind you, shaking his head at Remus who looks equally perturbed at James’ extra affection. Under them, you wrap your arms around his neck surely. Besides the soft sent of sickly sweet potion, he smells of pine and cologne. You let yourself recognize his body is continuing to function as it should. Untouched, mostly, by the yellow inebriant.

“I can’t stand you, do you feel well?”

“I’m feeling better.”

You stick your face in his shoulder. “Be serious.”

“No, I don’t feel well.”

You sigh into him, pressing a kiss into his freckled skin. He won’t sleep on the couch tonight, though you aught to teach him a lesson.

“We’re going home.”

“What?” James frowns. “We only just got here.”

“D’you have another pool to jump in?”

He cringes at the memory of his fireball spree. “Kay, coming.”

You collect your coat and purse as you stand, leaving James to fend for himself behind you. “Felix Felicis isn’t a joke, one wrong tincture of thyme and you’re in St Mungo’s- James, were are your shoes?”

[nouvxllev]

be my baby, t.r.

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: in which you show your love for jenna in your own way

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: fluff hooray!

a/n: heard this line from my headphones while i was scanning my notes and immediately went for my drafts. just a drabble if you may

masterlist.

When people think of a sacred place, they'd think of something related to religion of some sort. A place of worship and compassion to another, maybe a deity. Or they'd think of something they cherished, the place that they hope one day see in their life after death and see the wonderful memories they'd have.

You were none of the ordinary.

Your sacred place was Jenna. Her soul was everything you wanted. She was everything you needed.

Everyday, she would see through you. Your pride, your anger, your selfishness, and how she accepts you for who you are even for your flaws. How your happiness often shined so bright whenever you were with her. How the stars would shine just for her to be in the spotlight, be the center of everything. Oh, how you were so devoted to her was something beyond you.

Hence why your favorite time of the day is waking up beside her, sliding your arm in between her body, and hugging her as if she were being taken away from you if not for your arms grounding her.

You shifted your weight towards her, your legs going in between hers as you hugged her even tighter. She always smelled like home and the subtle scent of her favorite perfume with a hint of yours, you noticed.

The faint music from Jenna's headphones filled the air, feeling your eyes slowly getting heavy as you nudged your head onto her nape, closing your eyes in full bliss but never slept.

Ever since you moved to her apartment, you saw how Jenna always slept with headphones on, only for it to be way too tangled and off her ears when she wakes up.

Your hands found Jenna's, intertwining them as you looked over her shoulder, the action being reciprocated when you felt her fingers close around your hand. Even when she was asleep, she always held you back as if you were a distant star coming to earth.

The morning sun always complimented Jenna so well, the warmth of the sun casting a gentle glow on her features, how her brown eyes are all what you wish to see, showing you everything there is to true beauty. It is as if she was another celestial object far from a mere mortal with how your world orbited around her very being, how effortlessly she could make every living and dying poet forever ink her name in their pages.

You were about to fall asleep until you heard a quiet groan and her body stirring awake. As Jenna shifted beside you, your arms were still wrapped around her body, loosening as she turned to face you.

"Hey." She whispered. Her fingers tracing patterns across your own hand as she blinked away her drowsiness, a loopy smile gracing her lips. "I thought you'd be up by now."

"I am." You gave her a soft smile while she gave you an unimpressed look, but her smile never wavered.

"I meant off the bed and do whatever you normally do."

"You know I'll always wait for you," you replied in a hushed tone, your hand coming close to her face as you brushed a stray strand of hair away, your thumb gently caressing her freckles.

"I know," she whispered as she nodded, her morning voice always something so familiar to you. "Just thought you'd have a change of heart."

"I'd be a fool to." You met Jenna's eyes with a smile, your gaze going back and forth from her eyes to her lips. Your hand resting on her face traveled to her back, pulling her in closer.

Jenna let out a soft sigh, "Aren't you the smooth talker," she murmured. Her hand finding its way to your cheek, her touch gentle and reassuring as your heart swelled with the sight and love that was Jenna.

You raised your eyebrow, "I'm serious about it."

Jenna laughed. She laughed. Oh, how it made your heart instantly recognize the pattern of her laughter.

"I can tell, don't worry." She said, looking into your eyes with the same expression you had. It was a small gesture, waiting for your lover to wake up in the morning, but it was everything to you. And maybe even to Jenna if not a lot more. She leaned in, pecking you on the lips, "And I love you for it."

You can feel your eyes soften, the subtle rise and fall of Jenna's chest against yours as the warmth of her hand rests on your cheek.

You allowed your eyes to drop down to her lips before leaning in and planting a gentle kiss to her soft lips. The very faint scent of her chapstick from yesterday still lingered as you held Jenna's hand on your face, tracing her knuckles with your thumb.

You pulled away before leaning in and placing another kiss to her lips. "I love you too."

Your hand pulled hers away from your face, intertwining them before kissing her yet again. "I love you more."

"I love you most." You whispered softly as your mind captured the look on Jenna's face that was adorned with pure love. Both of your hands reached to cup her face, kissing her once more, feeling the warmth of her breath against yours.

You can feel Jenna smile against your lips, the gesture driving you to insanity with devotion for this girl.

The both of you pulled away from the kiss, your eyes meeting Jenna's as your heart raptured with laughter as she laughed alongside it. The sound itself making you want to record it deep inside your soul forever.

"What was that about?" She chuckled.

"For every kiss you give me, I'll give you three. The Ronettes." You quoted, a smirk gracing your lips as the faint sounds of her playlist started to play all over again.

Ever since Jenna introduced you to her music taste, you were blasting it non-stop. Though it wasn't exactly the music Jenna would listen to, it was like the one of the many music that you found in her taste in genre and you loved it as much as you loved her presence.

"You liked it?" She mumbled, a hopeful tune in her voice. Another thing you noticed about Jenna is that she loved recommending her own interests to other people and you came to adore that so much.

"Who am I to deny my talented girlfriend with her music taste?"

She chuckled, sitting up straight as she pulled you up towards her, wrapping her arms around your body. "Flattery gets you nowhere."

"Then how come I'm right here in your arms?" You looked up at her, a small smile playing on your lips that seemed to never go away whenever you were with her.

"I don't know," she shrugged nonchalantly, "you tell me."

Jenna's arms around you felt like home, a sacred place you'd always come here after a day or even a decade. It was a place where you belonged to, the embrace that would last along with the faint music that was still playing in the background. In her arms, peace is never a fleeting moment but rather something that'll always keep your heart warm.

Another thing is for sure: you were her one and only, and you'd adore her till eternity.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: feel like im slowly getting the motivation to write more

[whore-ibly-hot]

Yan!General x Reader x Yan!Recruit

'The Little Soldier and His General'

18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Smut, power dynamics, mentions of sa, masturbation, oral, mentions of war and military, implied violence, threats, coercion, female and male genitalia, female reader, pet names.

(AN: Part two to 'His Little Bride', here by popular demand!)

Part 1 here!

You trod up the stairs, your shoes clacking against the hardwood as you come to the door of Fritz's office, knocking gently on it. "Come in..." Fritz's deep voice calls, and as you enter he peers up from his desk. A smile spreads across his face, as he stands to see you. "Hello, my love..." He says, wrapping his hands around your waist gently. His stubble brushes against your forehead, and you giggle at the feeling. "Fritz, you're tickling me." You playfully smack his chest, causing him to back off. He steps aside, and returns to his desk. Someone coughs awkwardly, causing your head to snap in the direction of the sound. A young man, about your age, maybe younger, is standing by the corner of Fritz's desk, scuffing his shoe against the carpet and trying not to interrupt.

"Ah, my love, this is Johannes, he's the new recruit I mentioned a few nights ago at the dinner. Johannes, this is my lovely betrothed." You smile, and nod in the boys direction. Despite the fact he's probably only 20, a year or two younger than you, he's a giant. He's lanky, standing almost as tall as Fritz. Red curls adorn his head, matching the reddish-freckles that cover his face. "It's wonderful to meet you, ma'am." He stutters, smiling awkwardly. "Johannes, show some respect for the lady, especially an officer's wife. Make eye contact with her, shake her hand." Fritz, urges, trying to suppress a grin and seem stern. You scoff, and roll your eyes. "Johannes, ignore him. He's just trying to stress you out." You assure the boy, and he lets out a sigh of relief. You turn back to your betrothed.

"I don't want to interrupt, I'll leave you gentleman to your work." You offer. Fritz shakes his head, motioning with his hand towards a nearby chair while he sits down at his desk. "No, we were just almost finishing up, you can stay right here." You nod, and sit down. You take a book off of the shelf and busy yourself reading. While you do, Fritz and Johannes lean over his desk, examining some papers as they finish up. Sighing, Fritz places down the papers, and looks up at the redhead.

"Well, I believe that's all of our affairs in order, then?" He asks. "Yes sir! I've sent telegram to the infantry marching down south, and I ensured the diplomats would be ready to speak with you in the morning." Johannes explains, a small boyish smile on his face. Fritz claps a hand down on the boy's shoulder. "Only a few weeks in Johannes, and I think you may be one of the best young men I've trained. I've never seen someone so eager." Fritz compliments. The boy freezes, and looks down as his grin grows wider. "Just... just wanna make you proud, sir." Fritz feels his heart swell at the comment. In the few weeks since Johannes joined up with Fritz, he's been training the boy in every task he can think of, from infantry duties, to cleaning, to telegrams and more. After learning about the boy coming to fight for is family, and learning he has no father, Fritz felt a duty to care for him. He sees a lot of himself in him, and he feels himself get sick anytime he imagines Johannes having to endure what he went through when he first joined, before anyone treated him like he was worth something. Fritz keeps Johannes up at the main house as much as he can, as he's already had to punish several soldiers for picking on the new kid.

As Fritz snaps out of it, he notices Johannes gaze has drifted over to you. You are sitting in the chair, curled up with your knees tucked by your chest, skirt ruffled warmly around you as you read whatever book you picked up from the shelf. Johannes can feel his heart thrumming in his chest, the sounds of the world around him blocked out by it echoing in his hears. Fritz looks once, then twice back-and-forth between you and Johannes. If any other man had dared to gaze at his soon-to-be bride for this long, he would have them sent out on a mission they would surely not return from. However, as he looks in Johannes's eyes, analyzing his gaze, he sees no hint of malice or ill-intent. Johannes looks at you with such innocence, such curiosity that Fritz allows it. Fritz knows that Johannes is looking at you the way he looks at you. "Johannes?" Fritz asks, and the boy practically chokes, coughing as he snaps out of it. His wild and embarrassed expression makes Fritz chuckle warmly. "U-uh, yes sir?" Johannes asks, hand fidgeting with the edge of the desk as he taps his fingers against the varnished mahogany.

"Any particular reason you are staring at my bride?" Johannes shakes his head wildly, pushing his hands out in surrender and almost shrinking in on himself. "No, no sir! I was just wondering what she was reading, not, not looking at her in any way! I respect that she's your bride, and I respect her as a woman- I would never look at a girl like that. My mother always told me-" Fritz cuts him off, leaning forward on the desk and placing a firm, calloused hand on the boy's shoulder, feeling that he now quakes with anxiety. "Private Johannes, please, please calm down. I take no offence, my boy." Fritz gestures to you. "I will admit, I can be the protective type. But I need you to know, the only men who have been punished for trying to corrupt or gaze upon her like that are those who do it with nothing but animal urges in mind. You've seen how the soldiers in town act, around the bars and whorehouses, yes?" Johannes nods. Just the other day, a group of soldiers had tried to convince him to lose his virginity at a local brothel, but he denied, feeling sick at the thought. One of the women standing outside the brothel had touched him through his uniform. He knew one day a woman would do that, but to lose himself this way felt wrong. Especially because he knew many of the women in these places turned to this career only because of the war.

He couldn't stand the way soldiers spoke about girls late at night after an evening of drinking. Whenever they would whistle, or catcall some poor village girl, he was reminded of his sisters, and what his mother taught him about how to treat a woman. That was someones daughter, or sister, and the idea of making any woman feel the way he did when that woman groped him makes him wish that he was strong enough to deal with his fellow soldiers himself.

"Yes, sir." Johannes says. Fritz smiles when he notices the way Johannes frowns, grimacing a little as he recalls. He knows that Johannes feels the same about the urges and actions of those sick men. "Many of those men have tried, would try to harm her in that way." Johannes looks up, shaking his head as his eyes go wide. "No..." Johannes exclaims. Fritz nods gravely, enjoying stoking the boy up a little. "That is one of the reasons I keep her up here, why she is going to be my little bride. She must be kept safe, safe from those who would do her wrong. Even her father wanted to refuse to engage her to me. That man would have rather married his daughter off to some scum from the town than give her to a man who cared." Fritz growls, and the hairs on the back of Johannes neck stand up. Despite this, he stares intently at his superior, finding himself enthralled at the idea of keeping and caring for something, someone so lovely. Someone to protect. "Then how did you get her to wed you?" He asks, curiosity eating him from the inside out until he can't help but spit out the words. "I had her father... dispatched, I suppose. Trying to allow a young lady of this great country to be harmed surely counts as an act of treason." Fritz explains. He leaves out the fact he had your father executed so that any inheritance of yours could be put towards a wedding, but he thinks it a minor detail He glances over to make sure you aren't listening, then leans in close, so he may whisper into the boys ear.

"Now, Johannes. I have a question for you, and I want you to think carefully before you answer." Johannes bites his lips nervously, but waits for his admired superior to continue. "What do you think I should have done in that situation?" He asks. Johannes tilts his head, brows furrowed. "How do you mean, sir?" He asks. "I mean, what would you have done, if a lovely thing like her came along, who you adored and needed to protect, but someone was trying to keep you from her. What would have happened?" He asks. Johannes sighs, his fists balling up tightly. "The truth, sir?" Fritz nods. "I... well, I'm not very strong, o-or brave. I don't have your status, but... I think, I think I would do whatever it takes to keep her. Even if I meant doing something I don't think I'm quite ready for." Fritz pulls the boy in for a hug, and Johannes fear melts away for a brief moment. He hasn't felt affection since he left home, and the only thing keeping him from melting into his general is his shame about being affectionate with another man. Fritz pulls away, and looks the boy in the eyes. "My boy, by the time you are done training with me, there won't be a single thing you aren't strong enough or powerful enough to do, you understand me?" The thought of being good enough fills Johannes with glee. "I understand, sir."

"Good. Now, Johannes, you are a young man. I know by the way you talk, and the way you are that you are a good one. I don't want you learning to copy the other recruits in any task, but especially in how to care for a girl." Fritz explains. "Did your father have time to teach you about these things before his death?" Johannes shakes his head. "I know the basics, sir. My mother told me, and she told me to respect a girl, but... I know very little beyond that, I admit." He says sadly. "Well, I see how you looked at my bride. Look again, you have my permission." The boy looks up, unsure if this is some sort of test, but eventually he glances in your direction. He sighs at the serene girl sat before him.

"My bride was not unlike you a while ago. Innocent, naive. Do you want to protect her as I do, Johannes?" Fritz asks. "Of course, all women should be protected, and-" Fritz shakes his head, cutting the rambling boy off. "No, Johannes. I mean, do you want to protect her, specifically? Do you fancy my bride?" Johannes trembles, his cheeks reddened with a shame so deep feels like he might throw up. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry... I feel, I feel awful." He confesses. "I never wanted to feel like this, I admire you, and I respect you sir, I really do! But when I first arrived at your estate, I would see her around, reading or baking. I'd see her with you and, and god she seemed perfect. So caring, and I was drawn to her kindness in such a hellish place like the war." Fritz nods. "Johannes, you must understand. Other men and boys look at her with lust, desire. You look upon her with a craving, for how sweet she is. You don't want to defile her, you ant to care for her. You are not them. You, Johannes, are like me." Johannes can barely stand the feeling of euphoria that washes over him, the roller coaster of emotions is too much for him. Being told that the man he admires most in this world sees himself in him is enough to send the boy over the edge. "You don't know how much what you've said means to me, sir..." He whispers, looking up at Fritz. "Now, I have a proposal for you, my dear boy."

Fritz pauses, allowing Johannes to collect himself and steady his breathing. "I have taught you many things at camp, including manners. Given your love and respect for my bride, and the importance of me teaching you about all aspects of life, I think perhaps you should allow me to educate you on how to best care for a woman." Johannes chokes oncemore. "As in, giving them gifts, a-and courting them?" He asks, unsure if what he thinks Fritz is implying is true. "Partially. I am simply offering you to care for her. I fear I am not able to spend as much time with her as I want, and I know it's important for you to learn about the things women like, should you find a girl you want to marry in the future." Johannes nods. "Keep her company for a month or so, and when me and her wed, you may go and find a girl of your own, should you desire. But-" Fritz smiles. "Should you find yourself attached, which I would not blame you for, you may continue to live with me and her in our estate." Johannes grins. "Sir, I... thank you." Fritz only nods. "I care a great deal for you, boy, and I'm sure my bride will too. Tonight though, I think if you should want to, an education of another kind is necessary, should you keep my bride company or find another girl." "Do you mean?" Fritz nods. "I will speak to her after dinner, I'm sure she will agree. Meet us in the master suite after dinner, and I will provide you with a hands-on approach to the marital bed."

Late in the evening, Johannes finds himself pacing outside of his General's bedroom, unable to calm himself. Excitement eats away at him, though a small part of himself fears this is all a trick, a test, and that this is simply a way to shame him. He shakes off these thoughts, knowing his beloved superior wouldn't do that. Not to him. He hears the door creak, and he looks up eagerly. "Sir." He greets. Fritz nods his head. "At ease, my boy. This isn't a drill. Come in, take off your shoes." Johannes follows Fritz into the dimly lit room, and gasps as he sees what awaits him. Your lovely frame from earlier, once sat by the window, is now nude, layed on the bed like a present for him. He kicks of his shoes, and approaches. His fear of this being a trap has subsided, now replaced with anxiety that you won't like him, or the way he looks. He swallows deeply.

"Hello Johannes." You greet shyly, not able to fully make eye-contact. When Fritz proposed this to you, you were shocked, as he had always been very private and strict about intimate affairs. Many times when was balls-deep in you, he had growled things about never sharing and owning you. You couldn't deny you were curious what about this boy had gotten him so attached, and you agreed. Now the young private is stood before you, a bulge already prominent in his trousers.

Fritz senses you are a little nervous, and sits behind you, allowing your bare back to lean against his chest as he looks up to Johannes. "Johannes, firstly you must situate yourself. Come, sit down before her." Johannes eagerly crawls onto the bed, looking at his general for further instructions. "You've seen people kiss before, right?" He shrugs. "Yes, sir. My mother and father before he died, and a few soldiers with women, but I've never done it myself." He admits. Fritz nods. "Well, don't over-complicate it, just lean in, ask her if she would like a kiss?" Johannes kneels before you, his locks of red hair almost covering his downcast eyes. "Ma'am, may I kiss you?" He whispers. You blush at his continued formality, but nod. His breathe is shaky as he leans forward, connecting his lips with your soft ones. Much like Fritz, this boy is rough and calloused, with chapped lips. He isn't as hardened as Fritz, but he has the makings of what Fritz is. He moans a little, his hand coming to touch your chest instinctively. You squeak, and he removes his hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He exclaims, looking at you and Fritz, panicked. "No, it's fine, just, caught me off guard." You explain. "I.. I really liked it. You are a beautiful woman, thank you for letting me... y'know, engage in this with you." He whispers. You smile and stroke his cheek. "Of course." Fritz smiles. "Such good manners, private. Exemplary. Now darling, why don't you show him what makes a woman so different from a boy? Give him a look." Fritz urges. Fritz slips his hand onto your upper thighs, spreading them so Johannes can get a look at the bush between your legs. While you had initially been rather insecure about it, Fritz has always assured you he likes you natural. Johannes gulps, watching as you spread your folds with two fingers, allowing him easy access to your holes and clit. You are already wet, the slickness giving your pussy a sheen.

"See that little pearl at the top of her sex?" Fritz asks. Johannes nods. "That's her clit. Girls tend to feel the best when a boy know how to properly service it. Try gently rubbing it with a finger or two." Fritz instructs. Johannes extends to slender fingers to the pearl of your sex, beginning to rub small circles around the sensitive bud. It feels nice, but he's clearly inexperienced, as he doesn't touch you down there like Fritz does. Fritz notices you are quieter than usual, and he uses his hand to guide Johannes fingers. Small circles become the occasional flick, accompanied by a rub to the right side of your pearl. As Fritz moves his hand away, Johannes strokes that special spot, making you gasp. "J-Johannes..." You moan, causing the boy to pause. "No, no, my boy, when a girl feels good like that for you, don't stop. Keep touching her like that." Fritz urges. Johannes shakes it off, nodding. "Yes, sir. Sorry." He continues his ministrations. You whine, feeling his slender hands roll your clit, building you up. "G-god... A little faster, please." You beg. Johannes looks to Fritz, who nods. The boy speeds up, and soon you feel yourself about to cum on the privates fingers. "Ah... oh god, Fritz, gonna cum', he's gonna make me cum..." You groan. The moaning of his name with your erotic expression sends Johannes over the edge, and he gasps as he feels a convulsing. He looks down, and a wet patch is appearing on his pants. As you cum, he looks ashamed. "Sir..." He whimpers, and Fritz looks at the boys predicament.

"It's fine, my boy. Sometimes it comes early when your new to this, besides..." He places a hand on your chest, helping work you through your orgasm. "It's hard not to, looking at such a lovely girl..." As you come down from your high, you pant, shuffling forwards. "Thank him for being good with you, my girl." Fritz says. He was always one for manners. "Thank you Johannes." You say. "For what?" Fritz pushes. "For making me cum, for making me feel so good." Johannes can feel himself hardening again. "Now, Johannes, I'm sure she's eager to return the favor, so I want you to undress." Johannes hands shakes as he tries feebly to undo the buttons of his trousers. Eventually, he gets them off, springing free his cock. It's not the longest you've had, but then he isn't fully hard yet. "Darling, why don't you show Johannes just how thankful you are." You press a kiss gently to the red tip of his cock, watching as it twitches. He is clearly sensitive. You stroke it once or twice, teasing it until it's fully erect. "Does this feel good?" You ask. Despite being engaged to Fritz, you are still rather inexperienced. Johannes nods, then cuts off when you place your lips around him, taking his cock into your eager mouth.

"Oh, Oh god, sir!" Johannes whines, looking at his superior. He can feel the warmth of your mouth engulf his cock, your tongue rubbing ever so slightly along the prominent vein that runs on it's underside. "Don't be afraid to buck against her, just be sure no to damage her throat. She still struggles with taking a man fully." Fritz explains. At this, Johannes begins to gently thrust himself in and out, causing him to grip the sheets of the bed. "So good, ma'am. Please, uh... d-deeper, take me deeper." His little whines make your core throb, and you move to try and move him just a little further in, his tip rubbing the back of your mouth. He can feel his orgasm approaching, and calls out for Fritz. "Sir, I'm gonna cum again, am I allowed to-to, do I have your permission to-" He can barely ask, his legs shaking. "Of course, but ask her, she'll be the one to taste you." Fritz says. Johannes groans, and looks down at you. Tears prick the corners of his eyes. "Please, please ma'am, lemme cum inside, your mouth feels s' good. You feel so good, please!" He's begging now, the tears flowing freely. You bob your head, nodding, and the sight of your pretty face taking his cock with such ease sends him over the edge. "Ma'am, god, I'm cumming! Cumming in your mouth, shit..." He whimpers, feeling your mouth continue to suck him while he fills you up. He whines at the feeling of being practically milked by your tongue and soft lips. As he lays back, You swallow, and look at your betrothed.

Fritz is grinning, with one hand already unzipping the front of his trousers. "Felt s' good, sir." Johannes whispers, his cock now limp between his shaking legs. Fritz nods, grinning at how fucked-out his young subordinate is. "You did well, Johannes. So respectful and obeidient, servicing your superiors bride at his request." Johannes has to resist gasping at the praise. "Now, this last part is reserved for me, but you must watch and learn. It will be of use to you some day." Johannes watches as you lay on your stomach, innocent eyes looking up at him as you smile, while your fiancee slips out his reddended cock and lines it up with your pussy, caging you down beneath him as he prepares to take you from behind.

"Watch how a man gives his little bride a baby, Johannes..."

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

i literally have no idea what this is, or where it came from but here's a thing:

pairing: steddie | word count: 2,043 | rated: M (will be E in next part)

Eddie Munson was not Steve’s bi awakening, okay? He wasn’t.

He just happened to be standing in the middle of Family Video dressed like his bi awakening (and it didn’t help that he already had an embarrassingly huge crush on the guy).

Steve had come out of the back none the wiser to what he was about to see, glancing up from the tape he was carrying for someone who’d called earlier. His eyes met big, clunky, worn-in cowboy boots, long lean legs (and very nice ass–damn, they’ve got one of those stupid bandanas in their back pocket too) in classic Levis so tight they looked like they were painted on, the back of leather jacket (--hold on), and the back of a head of long, wild-looking, sun-kissed, yet still dark hair.

After his seconds-long oogling, Robin, who was chatting with Bon Jovi’s twin at the counter, glances behind him at Steve. 

Bon Jovi tries to turn and look back without taking himself off the counter, but when that insane hair of his gets in the way, he shoves up off the counter and spins on one heel.

“Munson? Where the hell’ve you been?” Steve thanks whatever it is up there that the surprise of seeing Eddie again temporarily suspends his frazzled ‘hothothothothot’ thoughts about his friend enough to respond normally.

“Damn, Stevie, been gone all summer and all I get is a ‘The hell’ve you been’?”

“Of course, asshole, you’ve been gone All. Summer.” Steve says, finally getting to the counter himself and dropping the tape on it. He scoops Eddie up in a tight hug, one long won from their month of recovery post-Vecna.

Everything went fine, Vecna was dead, the upside-down sealed away, but they hadn’t all left unscathed. Specifically Steve and Eddie, both of whom ended their spring break from hell nursing bat wounds, and closer than ever before. 

Then, after finally graduating, being hailed a hero for “saving” Max and Dustin from the real killer (thank you, suspicious government people), Eddie was hauled out of Hawkins by his Uncle, the former of whom got just enough time for a quick ‘Gotta go, Wayne wants me helping out at the farm this summer,’ before he was gone.

“I told you I would be, Harrington,” Eddie says once Steve sets him back down on his own two feet.

“So what happened? Where’ve you really been?”

Eddie raises a brow, “At the farm. Like I said.”

“Okay, well, excuse me for thinking it may have been the same 'farm' my parents said my childhood dog was sent off to.”

“You think my Uncle was gonna take me upstate to shoot me dead?”

“Obviously not, dumbass, but what other goddamn reason would you, Eddie Munson, have to be on a farm. Like with cows and stuff?”

“Though the sun did you some favors,” Robin cuts back in.

And isn’t that the truth. Up close now (and letting himself look), Steve could see how Eddie’s normally dark hair and pale complexion were now sun-kissed and so well be-freckled that it sent his stomach for another rollercoaster ride.

“Yeah, Munson, you planning on keeping the blond around?” Steve teases, picking up a strand of sun-lightened hair off Eddie’s shoulder and giving it a short tug.

“I don’t know, I’m not really used to how light…”

Whatever Eddie says after that is completely drowned out by ringing in Steve’s ears because Eddie stretches an arm up to paw at the top of his head and he’s wearing a crop top.

He’s wearing a goddamn crop top under his jacket, some band tee that looks like he’d hacked off himself..and are those abs?? God damn he is so fine. It’s not fucking fair. Who does he think he is running around like Steve’s own personal wet dre–

“Holy shit.”

He couldn’t help it. The words just fell out of his mouth.

“H-holy shit, you’ve got abs, Eddie!”

‘Thank you, Robin.’ Steve thinks at her absently since his brain is completely preoccupied..

“Wha–? Oh! Yeah! Check me out, huh?!” Eddie grins wide, lifting his shirt just a bit more to show off the toned expanse of stomach. 

Steve’s mouth goes bone dry.

“And that’s not all,” Eddie says. He drops his shirt and shucks the jacket off his shoulders.

His very well sculpted shoulders.

And arms.

And oh god those hands. Steve could hear the soft scrapes of rough callouses against the leather when Eddie threw the garment onto the counter beside him and his only thought was about how they might feel against his skin..

Still beaming, Eddie flexes one, then both arms, his biceps bunching under more tanned skin. “I got a lot of ‘lifting heavy things and putting them back down again’ in over the summer.” he continues, “I’m probably stronger than you now, Harrington.”

“Ha haha, right..yeah. Robin, can you excuse us for a second?”

Steve doesn’t wait for her response before he grabs Eddie around one of those absolutely delicious biceps and hauls him through the store and out the back door.

He lets a grinning Eddie go as soon as they’re through the back door, taking a couple steps away towards the woods behind their building, and trying to calm down with measured breaths.

When he does turn around, Eddie’s stood away from the door, one hip cocked out and his arms crossed across his chest.

The grin on his face has melted down into a smirk though, and the look in his eyes is less teasing and more cautious.

Steve steps back up close to the other man, and literally starts to circle him like a shark. Scanning his eyes up and down Eddie’s body as he does.

“What’s goin’ on Stevie? Looking for some style tips?” he jokes.

Steve doesn’t answer, and starts his second cycle around his friend.

“You know, maybe get rid of some of those polos?” Eddie sounds just a bit more unsure this time.

Steve’s behind Eddie’s right shoulder when he speaks again. “You think you can barge back in after all this time, looking like that,” Steve comes around to stand in front of Eddie again, “And not expect me to react?”

Eddie grins wickedly again, and steps back at the same time Steve steps forward.

“Expect me to not want to devour you whole?”

“You expect me to want that, big boy?” Eddie says as he’s pressed between Steve and the closed back door.

Steve rears back immediately, “Shit, Eddie, I’m sor–”

“‘Cause I do.” Eddie grabs hold of Steve and spins them around, pressing the younger man back against the door instead. “Ohhh boy, do I want that.”

Steve groans as Eddie slots their hips together, “You really are a big boy, aren’t you sunshine?”

“The things I’m gonna do to you..” Steve growls out, Eddie’s jaw snapping open with his words.

They’re both startled away from the back door when Robin bangs on it, “You’ve got five minutes to get back in here before I drag you back in! It’s Friday and we’re about to get busy!” she yells through the door.

He hears her converse squeak on the tile inside the door as she heads back to the front, then chances a look at Eddie.

He looks as red as Steve feels, from the bit of his face he can see from behind the hair he holds over it.

“Eddie–”

“It’s cool, Harrington,” he wheezes out a dry laugh, glancing over at him, “Better get in for the rush before Robin comes back.

He reaches for the handle again, but is stopped short by a hand on his wrist.

“Listen, Eddie.” Steve says, giving the other man’s arm a soft tug to get him to turn around. “I may have gotten a little…over enthusiastic…”

Eddie’s face scrunches up in a weird way.

“No! Not in a bad way, unless you weren’t as into it as I was–doesn’t matter! Point is, I may have gone a little crazy, but I wasn’t faking it.”

“I don’t think guys can fake it, Steve-o.” Eddie jokes softly, a small smile on his face.

Steve chuckles just as soft, “Shut up man, you know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“I think you do.”

“I dunno Steve," Eddie shrugs sarcastically, "You’re quite an enigma.”

“Okay, fine, here’s it spelled out for you: I am super into you.” Steve puts up a finger to stop whatever it is Eddie was about to say, “Hold on– I am bisexual, have been for a while and would like to try this..with you. If you want.”

“You gotta be more specific on what ‘this’ is, sunshine.” Eddie steps close to him once again.

Steve smirks, walking Eddie backward to the door again with both hands on his waist. Once he’s got him pressed back against the warm metal, he scoops the hair away from Eddie’s ear and holds it out of the way with a hand on the back of his neck.

He leans in, whispering right into Eddie’s ear. “I want to take you apart, Eddie.”

Eddie sucks in a sharp breath and Steve can feel the man’s heart hammering against his own chest.

“I want to suck you down, eat you out, and fuck you into next Tuesday.” He states, nipping on his earlobe for good measure before pulling back. 

Steve takes in Eddie’s flushed face, his eyes blown out they’re almost completely black, his chest heaving.

“I’d also like to totally romance you and date the fuck out of you, but…” he shrugs, grinning as Eddie smacks his chest lightly with a laugh of his own.

“I’m serious though, Eddie. I want this.”

Eddie’s smile falls slightly. “You sure about the whole dating thing, Harrington? You know you can’t date me for real..like in public and shit.”

Steve shrugs, “I know, but… I don’t think I’d survive something casual with you, Eddie.”

Eddie lets out a breath like he’d been punched.

He takes back in a deep breath, then pulls Steve flush to him again.

“I think that sounds amend—-”

Eddie’s forehead smashes into Steve’s nose when Robin shoves the door open behind Eddie.

“Damn! I knew the door was a bad idea.” Steve says, his voice coming out nasally from where he’s pinching at the bridge of his nose.

“Time’s up, Dingus, get your fruity butt inside.”

Eddie chuckles after her, leading Steve inside. “You shouldn’t tip your head back, lean forward and let it drain out.”

“Ugh, you sure? I’ll get blood all over me,”

“I’m sure, sweetheart, I’ve had a few bloody noses in my time.”

“Here,” Robin says once they reach the counter.

Steve takes the offered tissues, and soaks up the small trickle of blood.

“You still wanna date me if my nose is crooked?” he asks Eddie, who’s (sadly) shrugging his coat back on.

He pretends to think for a moment. “Sorry Stevie, that’s a dealbreaker. Even if it was my forehead what done it.”

“Ugh you’re such a dweeb, I don’t know what you see in him, Steve.”

“He’s hot, okay? And he’s still hot even after he rejected me just now.” Steve states matter-of-factly while shoving a wad of tissue into the one nostril still bleeding.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Very.”

“No, you’re gross. You guys are both gross.”

“Oh Birdie, you should've heard the things he was saying to me outside; all ‘Ooh Eddie, your muscles are so big and so is your hair and also your di—’”

“OKAY! That’s enough of that!” Steve cuts him off, pushing the still grinning Eddie toward the door, then, a softer: “Yours or mine after I’m off?” once they’re at the door.

“Definitely yours, unless you want Wayne to be privy to our shenanigans.”

“Yeah, that’s a no. Also, shenanigans? Really? You’re a super dweeb.” Steve smirks, pushing his boyfr— frien— Eddie out the front door. “I’m off at four, see you at five?”

Eddie fumbles backward over the curb but manages to catch himself, “It’s a date, Steve.”

He watches Eddie climb up into his van, and follows its path down the road and out of sight with a dreamy sigh.

“You still have tissues in your nose, Dingus.”

part 2/2 here | and on AO3!

definitely inspired by this post from @sparrowtapes

[slvthrs]

I'M SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH YOU Y'KNOW | vinnie hacker

--- MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF FOR UR OWN GOOD ---

your boyfriend loves the way the hot weather makes you look

VINNIE HACKER X FEM!READER

WARNINGS: NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI, praise kink, pet names, fingering, unprotected sex (use birth control idiots), hair pulling, slight vouyerism

word count: 1k <3

California is so fucking hot sometimes. The way that shirts stick to skin and the way that when you would walk out of the house and immediately be hit with a wave of heat that absolutely envelopes you. You really wanna move sometimes but you never would unless your boyfriend came with you. Your 5 foot 11, sandy beach blond with freckles and brown eyes, the archetype of someone from California- Vinnie.

From where you live the crashing of the beach waves helps to lull you to sleep in the night and sounds of beachgoers is your alarm clock and as much as you love living here, the heat will always get to you- it’s uncomfortable and suffocating. You’re a person who likes the cold and your boyfriend is exactly the opposite- he’s warm and sweet and kind of like a loyal dog. 

So that’s the reason why you’re currently laying back down in the shortest skirt you could find and a tiny crop top with no bra, sucking on this popsicle like it’s your last meal in the world. 

You let your head dangle off the edge of the counter with your body fully on display for no one. You should be a lot more careful with your boyfriend's roommate walking the halls but he’s seen me in more compromising positions. The sound of the neighborhood is bouncing off the walls of the kitchen and you can hear a soft pair of footsteps coming down from the house's gym. 

And speak of the devil and he may appear- your boyfriend walks into the kitchen to grab some water and so you can shamelessly check him out. He’s just wearing his sweatpants which rest dangerously low on his waist and he is slightly wet and a towel is thrown over his shoulder- which you presume is for wiping up but what catches your attention is the way his hands flex and how big they are compared to yours- It’s like he could drown you in his hands and you would never complain.

But you compose yourself, “Hi babe how was the work out?” you say stretching yourself out more so he can see me even better

He looks startled, “Shit I didn’t realize you were here” He says as he turns to look at me and the moment your eyes meet, you both know that you both want each other,

“Uh it went well, I like the outfit” He says taking a swig of his water

“Thanks” I say with the most innocent expression you can muster and you sit up to look at him doe-eyed “I like your fit as well” You chuckled referencing to how little he's wearing

“Ha ha very funny I work out in this, what is your excuse for looking like that?” He says with fake annoyance

“One, it’s fucking boiling in Cali and two, what do you mean ‘looking like that’” You say  emphasising the ‘that’

He groans, “You just, I dunno, look hot” He admits

“Well yeah it’s like 90 degrees outside” You joke

“You fucking know I didn’t mean that” He says walking closer to me and placing the water bottle away and placing both his hands on either sides of me- caging me in

I finish your popsicle and hook your hands around his neck playing with the wooden stick of the popsicle, “Hmm, I don’t think I know what you mean?” You say faking your innocence

“Oh yeah you wanna play it like that? Fine we can do it like that” He states as he crashes your lips together, you both taste like sweat, ice, and cherry popsicle along with pent up aggression of not having even seen each other in days due to your contrasting schedule. 

He lifts his hands to the hem of your shirt to take it of revealing your braless state, and looks at you in a state of awe, “God your such a fucking whore and you love to pretend your innocent,” He says as he starts to kiss your chest and starts to trail down and before he reaches your skirt he flips me over so your stomach is pressed up against the counter, “It kinda pisses me off but mainly turns me on.”

The chill of the counter makes you almost moan from how hot you are. He flips up your skirt and pulls your panties aside to lean up his cock with your clothed cunt and slams into you, gaining a completely pornographic moan that puts Satan to shame. 

His hands take refuge on your waist as he sets an unrelenting pace tumbling you so close to your climax. One of his hands finds your clit as he circles and teases it making you almost cry of complete pleasure but he stops as the same hand finds your hair and pulls it back so our eyes connect.

Instead of finding a sort of ravaged animalistic look on Vinnie’s face he looks at me in awe as if you look like the world's finest art and dips his head down to your spine and kisses upward and leaves marks all over your neck as he leans into your ears and whispers, 

“I’m fucking obsessed with you y’know”

And the words of praise cause everything to come crashing down- as you cum he lets go of his grip on your hair and it’s replaced with slight kisses on your back that trails down and he soothes you out of your orgasm.

With a few more thrusts he’s following you and then he pulls out of me but his grip on you stays because you both know that if he lets go you might just collapse. 

You stay there just for a bit, “Let’s go before Jett finds us sweetheart.” He says as he’s picking you up and carries you bridal style to your shared bedroom and he draws you into a bath.

[overandundertarot]

How Can You Enhance Your Beauty?

What can you do to acentuate you features and which style/aesthetic suits you best? Lets take a look!

Please pick a card; (1-4, left to right)

Pile One(Ace of Spades)

Cards; The Empress, The world, King of Cups, Ace of Pentacles.

Pile one you have that supple, vivacious feminine beauty. Think of ancient portrayals of feminine goddesses. The way women were portrayed in renaissance paintings. Fuller figured, softer around the edges. You may be a romantic in terms of kibbe body types. You may have a wide set body and thicker bones. You could be tall, and may appear larger than you actually are. That is to say, because of the rouded nature of your appearence people may expect you to be heavier than you are or weaker/lacking muscle. A good example is Marylin monroe who was actually quite petite and was said to diet often despite her voluptuous appearence. You could have big eyes and a vacant look about you, a natural poise and grace. Despite this overt feminity, you could have androginous features. That is to say, you may have a larger nose than others, a wider jaw, slighty bigger feet, some 'traditionally masculine features' bleed into your appearence. But these just add to your beauty in a subtle way. You have a welcoming, receptive energy at first glance, think of a cancer rising. You may have had issues with people underestimating you or looking down on you because of this initial soft and welcoming appearence. People may have even sexualised you in the past, placing strange expectations on you and im also hearing that some of them outright started telling you about their sexual fantasies involving your body? Pile one, you look best when you look abundant. When you look like you are well taken care of and happy with your life, determined. When you are at a place in your life where you feel fulfilled and balanced, there is a natural glow that comes over you and enhances your beauty. Jewelry also enhances your beauty, specifically jewelry that looks expensive and tasteful. You may look really good in business casual style outfits. When you combine feminine and masculine elements in your look, it really complements your features . You look really good when you give your soft features an 'edge' this can be with makeup, fashion, whatever way you want. It's good to let some of your personality shine through, to communicate that you look soft but have a backbone. You may favour more structured, masculine looks but have had poor experiences with styling these because they may not have fit the way you wanted/imagined them on your body. Find a way to work around that, incorporate things like shoulder pads, strategically loose clothing, boots etc. There're some pictures of jennifer lawrence walking dogs that went semi-viral, her outift in those pictures would suit you well. That kind of quiet luxury fashion look.

Pile Two(Ace of Hearts)

Cards; Queen of cups reversed, 3 of swords reversed, King of swords reversed, The Fool.

Pile 2 you have a melancholy sort of beauty. There is something haunting and sad about you. When people look at you, there is a depth that they can feel. Your emotions, your sadness, you wear them on your face. This is not to say that you are sad all the time, its just that it's easy for people to attach those qualities to you. People wonder what you could be thinking about when they look at you, how your life may be going and who your friends are. Sad girl aesthetic, you may like to wear muted colours, grunge/emo fashion. You could have saturnian features; strong bone structure, deep set eyes/an intense gaze. Prominent eyes. I'm seeing that some of you have undereye circles and forehead lines/crinkles. Freckles as well. Whatever you do, it seems picturesque; perfectly imperfect. If someone were to capture you in the moment, the picture would come out with a raw, dark academia feel. You have a certain vibe that transcends what you wear/look like. You can enhance your beauty by trying something new. A lot of you who chose this pile have a comfort zone that is enforced solely through force of habit. Don't be afraid to try things that pique your interest even if it may seem strange to the people around you. Some of you want to completely change your aesthetic but are worried that you will regret it and have to buy a whole new wardrobe/makeup collection etc afterwards. It seems that a lot of looks, aesthetics appeal to you but you're not sure which to focus on. Some of you used to have a more sexy/mature vibe but feel the need to cover up/dress more conservativly recently. You'd do well to slowly incorporate the new style and grow comfortable in it day to day. For others, you're perfectly fine the way you are but are feeling stagnant. Social media trends hold quite the sway on you and you are worried about how people perceive you because you don't have the newest clothes/jewelry/shoes and dress similarly each day. You may also like to thrift your clothes and have some well loved favourites that you wear constantly. It seems there's really no issue, if you feel the want to change, try it to see if the satisfaction is as great as you would have thought. Otherwise, its not really worth the hassle. It seems that you also need to change your perspective/the content you consume. Content that aligns with your interests and natural inclinations will help you feel more secure in your habits and the way you choose to present yourself. Some of you could be thinking about undegoing surgery and making a more permanent and drastic change to your features. You are being advised to think long and hard as to why you wish to do that, and if you will really be satisfied with the results. Beauty standards change, you may find that your 'flaw' will be the next beauty trend or that you never really hated the a way a certain feature looked after all.

Pile Three(Ace of Diamonds)

Cards; The Magician. Nine of wands reversed, Ace of pentacles, Three of pentacles.

Pile 3, you have the ability to present yourself however you desire. You have a very versatile look and many makeup and fashion styles suit you. Some of you are aware of this and take advantage of the fact. But others aren't and like to stay within a single fashion/makeup style. Either way it looks good on you and you are often complimented for your looks. You are quite creative too, and customise your clothes/hair makeup to fit your personality. Something about your hair stands out. It seems that your personality may come as a surprise to people who perceive only your looks as a first impression. You could also be quite spiritual/witchy and use glamours and charms to exert a specific appeal depending on your goal. You can enhance your beauty by going for an understated look. I'm seeing that you haven't really tried simplistic makeup before, or you don't wear it often. Consulting an external influence could also help you enhance your looks. Such as colour analysis, analysing your features(like the kibbe body types), or even asking a friend what they think you should do. I'm seeing that you are generally happy with where you are in terms of looks/beauty and could just be looking to spice things up/suggestions because you are an open minded and optimistic sort of person. A message for you is also to utilise beauty sevices like spas, make up studios, stylists etc. You are good at styling yourself but other factors in your life may be occupying your time/energy and taking care of yourself may start to feel like a burden. Take the opportunity to treat yourself and relax, you deserve it!

Pile Four(Ace of Flowers)

Cards; 7 of swords, Knight of cups,4 of swords reversed, 3 of swords.

Pile 4 you have a duaity about you. I'm seeing that you dress according to how you feel. You have moments where you don't want to talk to anyone and would rather stay at home. During those moments you wear athleisure, comfortable clothes and put little effort into your appearence. But when you feel more confident and extroverted you put on bold and colourful clothes to match your bright and energetic personality at the time. You could be tall/look tall, and have a preference for baggy silhouttes. Something about your lips is prominent. You could have long limbs and be slender, regardless of your weight/fitness. You are someone who's talkative, or very expressive. You have a lot of opinions, even though you may keep them to yourself. You're quite involved in your own inner world and even when you are not talking to anyone, your face is very expressive in reaction to your thoughts. You may be cheeky as well, and like to have something going on that nobody knows about. Your personality is really shining through here, despite it being a beauty reading lol. That's your appeal, you're a whirlwind and people can't help but notice you. Your looks just add to your character. You can enhace your beauty by increasing your activity level. Becoming fit, going to the gym or participating in an active hobby. It'll suit you well to have something that occupies your mind as well as your body. Also, to try a more somber look in regard to fashion and makeup, like a dark feminine siren type of makeup style/clothing. It seems that there is also something that you have been struggling to accept about yourself, this weighs on you and is cauising visible tiredness/strain. For some of you, it is a body part that you are insecure about, for others its a tendency to overthink and neglect yourself in the process. Learning to accept that part of yourself and developing healthy coping mechanisms to distract you in your times of mental strain will have you feeling and looking more confident.

******

That's it! Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading! If you would like to book a private reading with me, you can do so here. If you're interested in my other PAC's, you can check them out here!

[babydollmarauders]

ENCHANTED — JAMIE DRYSDALE

jamie drysdale x hughes!reader

part of the Speak Now Fic List

summary: in which y/n meets Jamie on a boring night and becomes completely enchanted with him

notes: this is my first time ever writing for Jamie, so bear with me! (4k words, precisely.)

this wasn’t where i wanted to spend my night.

after two years in Anaheim, i thought i had successfully avoided my brother’s best friend dragging me to parties or nights out.

i always had an excuse handy.

“sorry Trevor, i have a big test. i gotta study.”

“i have major cramps, sorry Trev.”

“i have study group, sorry!”

“sorry Trevor, i have a shift at the campus store!”

that last one came back to bite me in the ass after Trevor had mentioned it to Jack and my loving brother outed me on the fact that i don’t even have a job.

that’s what got me here. finally conned into being Trevor’s friendly plus-one to John Gibson’s end-of-the-season party. despite the fact that i was telling the truth this time when i said i had to study for finals.

Trevor had pulled some pouty puppy face over facetime, reminded me that i lied to him last time, and even pulled out the “i just wanna hang out with you, mini Hughes. i never get to see you, even though we live in the same city. you may as well be as far away as Jack.”

and just like that, i was putty in his hands. i agreed to accompany, only on the agreement that he wouldn’t leave me alone when we got here. and he hasn’t, so far.

he stands next to me, an arm leant against my shoulder, as he chats with Troy Terry.

“this is y/n Hughes, my itty bitty best buddy!” his speech is slightly slurred, already significantly buzzed, but not quite drunk yet.

“you gotta stop calling me that.” i roll my eyes. “i’m not fourteen and 5’3 anymore.”

“but you’re still not my height,” he laughs, ruffling my hair. “so it stays.”

i send Troy a pleading glance and his head tips back in laughter.

“so, you’re Quinn, Jack, and Luke’s sister?” Troy asks.

“yeah, i’m between Jack and Luke.” i explain and he nods, making a comment about how hard it must be being the only girl.

“where’s Jamie, Trevor? thought he would’ve driven with you.” Troy questions, and i’m grateful for the change of subject.

i love my brothers, but they’re all anyone ever wants to talk about. i’m my own person, my life doesn’t revolve around them.

“nah, i picked this one up, so Jamie’s driving on his own. he should be here soon though.”

i zone out as the conversation shifts to their off-season plans, forcing a laugh whenever Trevor tells a horrendous joke, and faking a smile when he mentions that he’ll be coming to my brothers lake house.

but eventually i get bored, instead turning my head to look around the crowded house.

i recognize a few people from the Ducks games i’ve watched or attended. John Gibson, the goalie. Mason McTavish, the young center.

but then i see him.

dark hair and blue eyes contrast against pale skin. even from across the room, i can see the freckles that litter across his nose and cheekbones. his gaze shifts around the room, and when it settles on where i am, he seems to let out a relieved sigh, making his way over.

my body tenses, my posture becoming straighter, and as i push my shoulders back slightly, i accidentally knock Trevor’s arm off. but he doesn’t seem to notice, a large goofy smile breaking out across his face as he cheers.

“Jimbo! you made it!”

a blush rises to the gorgeous boy’s cheeks, huffing out an awkward chuckle. it’s beautiful. he’s beautiful.

“Jimmy, this is y/n. y/n, this is Jamie!” Trevor introduces us and realization settles over me.

this is Jamie? Trevor’s best friend and roommate in California?

he reminds me of a disney prince. his eyes meet mine, wonder shining amongst them.

“have we met? you seem kinda familiar.” his voice reminds me of daylight breaking amongst gray clouds. warmth and security flowing throughout my body.

but before i can respond, Trevor butts his way in again.

“i’m gonna go get another drink! i’ll be back.”

Trevor pushes his way between us, heading off toward the kitchen, and Jamie laughs again.

“so, how drunk is he?” Jamie questions, his head nodding towards where Trevor disappeared.

“well, about ten minutes ago, he was singing me the mighty ducks theme song.” i explain and Jamie nods in understanding.

“got it. so, he’s sober.” he remarks and i let out a giggle.

“yeah,” i drag out. “there really isn’t much of a difference between sober and drunk Trevor, is there?”

“not when he’s as wild drunk as he is sober.” Jamie jokes, and i hum in agreement.

“so, you’re the infamous Jamie Drysdale?” i raise an eyebrow, watching as his cheeks turn pink.

“oh god, he talks about me?” he laughs and i nod.

“you’ve been mentioned a few times.” i confirm. “all good things, of course.”

Jamie and i stand in that same spot almost all night, eventually moving to the couch when we realize that Trevor isn’t coming back.

“so, you’re a student at… Chapman?” he gathers.

“yeah, i’m about to end my junior year. one year online during the pandemic, and two years on campus here.” i explain and he nods his head in understanding, taking a sip of his soda.

“what’s your major?”

“broadcast journalism. my main focus is sports entertainment.” he nods again before his nose scrunches in confusion, his eyebrows pulling together.

“and you’ve known Trevor this whole time?” i hum out in agreement. “how have we never met until now?”

“okay, don’t judge me.” i preface, making him chuckle, but agree. “i’m not much of a party person. i prefer to stay in my dorm and watch movies. so, i always make up an excuse to get out of coming to parties with Trevor.”

his head tips back in laughter, causing a rush of heat to spread across my face, but at the sight of my blush, he shakes his head.

“wait, no! no! i’m not laughing at you, i swear! i’m laughing because i do the same thing.” his words are spoken through broken laughter, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip to hold back a smile.

“really? you’re his roommate!”

“that doesn’t mean i love partying!” he defends himself. “i’m more introverted. quieter than Z. a lot of people wonder why we’re friends, but, we balance each other out.”

he shrugs and i tilt my head, squinting my eyes.

“hm, yeah, i could see that.” i admit. “my best friend and i are the same way. she’s a lot like Trevor.”

as the words leave my mouth, my face drops; my eyes wide, my lips parted in horror.

“oh god, she’s like Trevor.” Jamie’s entire body folds in laughter, his face turning bright red as his hand lands on my knee, sending sparks up my leg.

he looks so carefree and happy, i can’t help but sneak a picture.

“so, neither of us like parties,” Jamie starts, once he’s finally calmed down from laughing at my horror. “and Trevor has left us, and i doubt he’s coming back.”

“definitely not. that boy has the attention span of a goldfish.” i joke and Jamie agrees.

“so why don’t we get out of here?” he asks. my lips part, blood rushing to my cheeks, but before i can speak, he cuts me off. “wait, not like that. that came out wrong! what i mean is, i could really go for some food. and maybe getting out of this crowded house.”

“oh- yeah.” i nod, sliding my phone in my pocket. “yeah, that sounds great.”

“great!” he rises from the couch, holding his hand out for me to take; and i do, slipping my hand into his larger, more calloused hold.

he pulls me up from the couch, his grip never faltering as we exit the house with an irish goodbye and head to his car.

he opens the passenger door, finally dropping my hand to allow me to slide in, but i catch his hand flex in my peripheral vision and despite my now cold hand, my heart races in my chest. did i just get my own pride and prejudice moment?

“do you have any special requests on where to eat?” he questions as he starts the car.

“um, no.” i shrug. “anywhere with chicken tenders is fine with me.”

he laughs. “then i know just the place.”

the ride is made in a comfortable silence after that. nothing but the sound of country music flowing through the radio.

Jamie pulls into a diner parking lot, mostly empty due to the late timing, and we head inside, taking a seat in a booth towards the middle of the establishment.

“your chicken tenders, await.” he grins, pointing out the item on the laminated menu, slightly sticky with syrup.

“hey, don’t knock the chicken tenders. they’re an important food group.” i stick out my lip in a fake pout and he chuckles.

“yeah, if you’re ten.”

“oh yeah, well what are you gonna get? a burger?” he opens his mouth to defend himself, but as i raise a brow, he chooses to stay silent, letting out a ‘hmph’

“that’s what i thought.” i grin in triumph as a waitress stops by to take our orders. as soon as she leaves, my phone buzzes in my pocket and i slide it out, huffing a laugh at the text.

***

from: quack-quack 🦆

yo, where’d u go?! u disappeared on me!

***

i show the text to Jamie, who laughs as well.

“guess he did try to come back to us.” he shrugs.

“yeah, three hours after he left us!” i giggle, holding my phone up to take a picture of Jamie, who smiles, his arms crossed on the table.

the photo is the only response Trevor gets, but barely 5 minutes later, interrupting Jamie and i’s heavy debate on which Star Wars movie is the best, i get another text.

***

from: jacky ♥️🖤

why is Z telling me you’re out with a guy? at 11:30 at night?? y/n, go home. now. it’s unsafe and i can’t believe you’re being so reckless. i’ll deal with this in the morning.

***

i roll my eyes, choosing to ignore the text and slip my phone back into my pocket.

“Trevor again?” Jamie asks but i shake my head.

“no, worse. my brother.” i explain as our food arrives.

i smile over at the waitress, muttering out a ‘thank you’ before she retreats.

“you have a brother?” he speaks up as i take a bite of chicken and i nod.

“i have three.” i don’t give him any more information than that. if he’s unaware of who my brothers are, then i don’t want to tell him. not tonight, at least.

“oh damn.” he blows out a breath, his eyes widening. “i have a brother, but i can’t imagine having three. and being the only girl?”

“yeah, they’re pretty protective.”

“do they live here?” he asks, and it feels nice; being able to talk about my family without someone already knowing who they are and pretty much everything about them.

“no.” i shake my head. “one lives in canada, the other two on the east coast.”

he ask me more questions about my family, and i try to keep my answers as vague as possible, while still not being too vague that he thinks i don’t wanna talk about them.

for every question i answer, he gives me a fact about his own family, until the conversation shifts to jobs.

“well obviously you know i’m a hockey player.” he says as i push my now-empty plate away. “do you work?”

“not right now.” i tell him. “i’m focused on school at the moment. i got a full-ride scholarship, because of my grades, so i don’t have to pay for my tuition, and my parents pay for my dorm.

“but because they don’t have to pay for my tuition, they send me a monthly allowance from my college fund so that i don’t have to work and i can focus on my schooling.”

he follows along as i explain, maintaining eye contact.

“that’s cool. it’s good, that you get to focus on your grades.” i yawn as he finishes speaking, attempting to cover it, but he catches on. “oh shit, are you tired?”

“i- just a little bit.” i wince, hoping he doesn’t think i found him boring or anything.

“i can drop you off at your dorm, if you want. i know Trevor picked you up”

i nod as he motions over to the waitress for the check.

“yes, please.” i give in. “i usually wouldn’t mind staying out all night with you, because i’m having a really good time, and you’re so funny and sweet. but, i need to sleep so i can study tomorrow. i have a final on Monday.”

Jamie pays, waving off my offer to pay for my own food, and we exit the diner, climbing back into his car.

the time on his dashboard reads one am and i internally cringe at the idea of having to sneak back into my dorm.

the drive is mainly quiet as i give him directions to my dorm, and i sigh as we pull up in front of the building.

“i had a lot of fun.” i turn to him with a small smile as i unbuckle my seatbelt. “thanks for making tonight a lot less boring, Jamie.”

“yeah, me too.” he nods, “thanks for saving me from drunk Trevor.”

i’m grateful for the darkness of the night sky as he leans over and presses a kiss to my cheek, thanking whatever higher being that he’s unable to see the pink twinge of my cheekbones.

i bid him a goodnight as i exit the car, looking back as i reach the door to the dormitory building, to see him waiting for me to get inside before he leaves. i wave another goodbye, him doing the same as i disappear into the brick building.

i’m blushing, grinning like a lovesick fool the entire elevator ride up to my dorm.

i wonder if he knows how enchanted i was by him. one night together and i’m already thinking about how i would introduce him to my family.

i tiptoe into the dorm room, quiet to try and avoid waking my best friend slash roommate, but my efforts go unappreciated as she’s already sitting up in her bed, waiting for me.

“how was it? were you miserable without me?” Brandy asks from her spot propped against her mountain of pillows. “i bet you were, right?”

but i’m quiet; my mind still stuck on Jamie. he was amazing. so kind, and funny. and he actually asked about me. he genuinely wanted to know about my family and friends, what i liked to do in my free time, and what i wanted to do with my degree.

“oh- i know that look.” Brandy squeals, hopping off her bed and disregarding my half-nakedness in the midst of getting changed into my pajamas, pulling me in for a hug. “who is he? what’s his name? where’s he from? does he have a hot brother?”

“Trevor’s roommate, Jamie, Canada, and he has a brother but i don’t know what he looks like.” i spill, my cheeks red and a wide grin on my lips.

you’d think i just told Brandy i won the lottery with the way she lets out an excited shriek, jumping up and down as i finish changing.

i leave her to get out her excitement as i go wash my face and brush my teeth, but when i’m back, she just seems even more excited.

“tell me all about him!” she demands, hopping back into her bed, turning to face mine as i crawl in and bury myself in my covers.

“he was enchanting.” i sigh, staring up at the popcorn ceiling. “he was so funny, and he was so sweet. we really clicked, Bran.

“we met at the party and spent hours just talking and getting to know each other. and then he took me to this diner, and we spent another hour and a half just talking about our lives. and he doesn’t know who my brothers are! i mean, he knows who they are, obviously, because he plays hockey, but he doesn’t know they’re my brothers.”

“oh sweet angel,” she sighs, and i turn my head to look at her. “you seem so happy.”

her eyes are soft, a gentle smile on her face.

“i am.” i tell her.

“are you gonna see him again?” she questions, laying down under her blankets.

“i don’t know, i—” my mood deflates, my face dropping as realization settles over me. “i didn’t get his number.”

“so ask Trevor for it.” she shrugs, as if it’s easy. and i guess for her, someone who doesn’t have crippling anxiety, it is.

“i can’t.” i shake my head. “that would be so embarrassing. i don’t want Trevor to know i’m interested in his friend. not yet.”

“you’ll see him again, sweet angel.” Brandy assures me, flicking off her lamp. “it’ll work out.”

the room goes dark and quiet, and a mere five minutes later, i can hear her snores fill the room. but i’m still awake.

i grab my phone from where it rests on my bedside table, unlocking it, i’m unsurprised to see it’s two am. i click into my photos app, swiping back and forth between the two pictures i took of Jamie tonight.

questions plague my thoughts.

does he have a girlfriend in canada?

who does he love?

when is he leaving, now that the season is over?

will i ever see him again?

please let this be the very first page of our story.

please don’t let this be where our storyline ends.

i turn off my phone, plugging it in and setting it back on my nightstand. his name echoes through my thoughts, and when i close my eyes, all i picture is him.

please don’t be in love with someone else.

please don’t have somebody waiting on you.

i drift into sleep, my dreams overridden by the same blue eyed, freckled boy that had taken over my mind.

*** TWO MONTHS LATER ***

it’s been months, but i still haven’t moved past that April night with Jamie.

i can be having a normal summer day, and yet some way or another, i’m reminded of the beautiful boy that i spent that night with.

sometimes it’s the blue of the lake water, which reminds me of his eyes. others it’s the color of my coffee in the morning, that reminds me of his hair.

it doesn’t help that nearly all of Trevor’s stories from the past season, include Jamie in some way.

it’s been months, and i still hope to every higher power, that i’ll see him again. that he’s single and hoping to see me too.

i’m sprawled across the couch, my head in my eldest brother’s lap as the guys play chel.

i was reading a book, but that’s been long abandoned; now closed and resting on my chest as i daydream about the freckled disney prince like boy from Anaheim.

“hey.” my trance is broken when Quinn pokes my cheek. i glance up at him, tearing my eyes away from their zoned out glare at the tv. “you okay?”

“yeah, i’m fine.” i give him a small smile. “just wondering where Trevor is and if he can stay there. it’s so quiet.”

Quinn laughs, zoning back into the tv screen as a new game starts between Jack and Cole.

“he went to-” Quinn is cut off by the front door opening and Trevor’s loud voice echoing throughout the house.

“honey, i’m home!” Trevor calls out and Quinn and i share an exasperated glance. “and i brought a guest!”

my brows furrow together at his statement, listening to the two pairs of footsteps that get closer to the living room.

“guys, this is Jamie. you know him from… playing against him.”

my eyes go wide, my head snapping up as i quickly raise myself to a sitting position, accidentally kicking Jack in the groin from my feet having been in his lap.

Jack lets out a groan, doubling over, while Cole laughs and takes that as his chance to score a goal on him in the video game.

“Jimbo, this is Cole, Alex, Quinn, and Jack, who looks like his appendix burst.” Trevor introduces and Jack coughs, holding up his middle finger at his best friend. “and you already know y/n.”

at the mention of my name and the flick of Trevor’s finger towards me, Jamie’s eyes snap to me, a smile on his face.

“hi.” i grin, shuffling to my knees on the couch.

“hey, i’m glad to see you again. i didn’t know you would be here.” Jamie’s eyes light up, crinkling as his smile gets brighter.

“it’s her brothers’ house Jimmy, of course she’ll be here.” Trevor laughs, slapping Jamie’s back, whose eyes go wide as he realizes.

“oh- these are your brothers? you didn’t say they played hockey.” Jamie chuckles awkwardly.

“what?” Jack huffs from behind me. “not only have you met him? but you didn’t tell him about your dear old brothers?”

Jack wraps an arm around the front of my shoulders, pulling me back into him and ruffling my hair.

“get off me, jackass!” i break free from his hold, making him laugh. “i didn’t tell him who you are, but i did tell him how annoying you are.”

Jack gasps in mock offense, reaching out for me, but i clamber into Quinn’s lap.

“keep him away, Quinny!” i shriek, making all the guys laugh.

“Jack, leave her alone.” Quinn chuckles and Jack slumps back on his seat, rolling his eyes.

“you two are no fun.”

“hey mini Hughes?” Trevor starts, plopping down into the seat beside Jack. “you mind showing Jimmy to the empty room? i wanna beat Cole’s ass at chel.”

“sure.” i rise from Quinn’s lap, sending a smile towards Jamie as i motion for him to follow me. he picks up his suitcase, shuffling behind me through the house and up the stairs until i lead him into the empty room beside mine.

“here ya go. your room for the… however long you’re here.” he chuckles at my words, setting his suitcase down on the bed before he turns to me.

“ya know, i was hoping i’d see you again.” he confesses, my cheeks turning pink.

“yeah?” he nods, “me too.”

“i was enchanted to meet you that night.” his hand grabs ahold of mine, lacing our fingers together. “and then i realized i didn’t get your number, and it felt too weird to get it from Trevor. so, i was really hoping i would run into you next season, but here you are now.”

“here i am.” i bite my lip, glancing down at his lips before back at his eyes.

“would you wanna go out while i’m here?” he asks shyly. “like, on a real date?”

“i would love that, Jamie.” i take the chance while i feel bold, wrapping my arms around his neck, his following suit and coiling around my waist.

“yeah?” he replies giddily, his voice filled with excitement and nerves.

“yeah. i’d love that a lot.” his eyes flicker down to my lips before his tongue darts out to wet his own.

“hey, Jamie?” my words earn me a distracted hum in return. “you finally gonna kiss me now?”

“oh yeah.” he nods, causing me to giggle.

his head dips down, our noses brushing as his lips finally press against mine. my entire body melts into his, my hands cupping the back of his neck to pull him closer. our lips fit together perfectly, fire spreading throughout my body at the feeling.

and all i can think, is how enchanting this feeling is.

[writeonwhiskey]

the skz house: ch 5 (18+)

a/n: happy tuesday. hope you all had a great christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate. here is my gift to you!

Summary: Welcome to Sigma Kappa Zeta, the most popular fraternity on campus. When you, down on your luck and looking for a place to live, see their ad for ‘IN-HOUSE STAY’. You're one of the four girls chosen and find that your duties for the rest of the school year will be cooking, cleaning, and pleasing your assigned house members: Hyunjin & Bang Chan.

[ read chapter four here ]

Chapter Five: Of Mirrors and Lessons

The entire ride back home, Chan keeps his hand on your thigh, sometimes resting, sometimes gently squeezing. You couldn’t possibly forget the fact that you’re sitting in a car with him, but his touch serves as a constant reminder that he’s there without feeling overbearing. It actually soothes you, which should be concerning. However, since it doesn’t seem like you’ll get any outright form of compassion from him, maybe you have to learn to appreciate these subtle gestures.

Back at the house you and Charlotte clean up the basement while the other girls work on dinner. You gather up the empty pizza boxes and paper cups into a large trash bag as she works on wiping down all the surfaces. You hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to her much prior to this, but you can tell she’s the quiet, introvert type. 

When you ask, she tells you things with Han and Jeongin are going well. You hold in your surprise when she says Han hasn’t tried anything with her yet, but she and Jeongin had made out a few times—one of which you saw last night. 

Her words make you curious what everyone else has been up to. You’ve only had one night with Hyunjin where all you did was kiss, but your two nights with Chan had been filled with far more intimate acts and barely any kissing. Were the others taking things just as slow? 

You finish cleaning and hoist the trash bags up the stairs. Felix and Changbin spring up from their seats at the table when you two emerge from the basement. They take the bags from you and put them outside.

Hyunjin is the only one missing when it’s time to eat—he has an evening class tonight. Chan eats in the living room, watching a baseball game with Seungmin. You eat in the dining room next to Felix and even after you’ve cleared your plates, you continue talking to him. He shares information with you freely and it’s a bit of a relief. His minor is in Game Design and Development, his dad and Chan’s dad are extremely close, so they grew up together before venturing to the states. You’re invested in what he’s saying—you really are, but you keep catching yourself being distracted by the dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. They give him such a boyish charm, especially when he smiles, that’s directly contradicted by the amount of bass in his voice. 

Your phone buzzes and you check it, seeing a text from Chan. A wave of nerves flow throw your body as you open it. 

Chan

waiting for you

You put your phone face down on the table. You know what’s coming next. He told you this afternoon. You don’t know what to expect. You do at least know that you shouldn’t expect rose petals and candles for your first time with him. If there are candles, he would probably be using them to drip wax over you. You panic at the thought. You don’t know what he’s in to, but you’re learning. It’s not difficult to believe he may like some kinky stuff, though. For now, all you know for sure is that he likes to exercise his control over you. 

You hate to keep thinking of your ex in uncertain moments like this, yet you can’t help it. You simply can’t imagine him speaking to you or treating you the way Chan does sexually and you just allowing it to happen. Chan has a specific presence or aura, if you will, that asserts dominance and you’re growing more and more attracted to it. No matter how much you want to resist. 

You’re startled at the feel of a hand on your shoulder. You turn to look at Felix, his chestnut brown eyes pouring out concern.

“You alright?” He asks in his low voice. 

“Yeah,” you reply with a light chuckle, not wanting to worry him. “I’m gonna head upstairs now.”

He squeezes your shoulder a few times and nods.

The walk upstairs feels like a death march. You’re moving slowly, trying to mentally prepare yourself for whatever is to come. 

____________________

Chan is sitting on the edge of his bed, facing you. You’re leaned against his dresser, naked after he asked you to remove your clothing. He still has his clothes on, which you can’t even think is unfair because what’s the point? Fairness doesn’t exist with him. You can’t even bring your arms up to cover yourself. So you stand there, watching him watch you, neither of you speaking. 

You wonder what’s going through his head right now, because all you can think of is how much you want him to touch you, to cover your bare body with his. You don’t know if it’s right to yearn for him after how he’s treated you—or is that the very reason you do?

After what feels like slow, painstaking hours, he stands from the bed and walks to you. He places his hands on either side of you on the dresser, caging you in. 

“Do you want me, y/n?” He finally breaks the silence, lowering his head to look you in the eyes. 

What kind of question is that? You do, don’t you? You know he doesn’t mean in the way he’s had you the last couple of days, he means actually fucking you this time. But will he be rough? Will it be painful? Will you like it? Your sexual experience is rather vanilla, so the thought is just as thrilling as it is frightening. What if it’s bad? What if it’s good? 

You lick your lips and slowly nod your head. 

He smiles down at you before moving forward to capture your lips with his. It’s a slow and passionate kiss. You tell yourself all his unspoken words are bottled up in it—that he doesn’t mean to make you feel awful, that he chose you for a reason. 

“Take my shirt off,” he says when he pulls away from you. 

Your grab the bottom of his shirt and lift it up and over his head. You drop it on top of your pile of clothes, never taking your eyes off him. 

He takes each of your hands in his at the wrist and places your palms on his chest. He slowly guides them down his pectorals, his abs, all the way down the ‘V’ shape of his lower abdomen that leads into his loose fitting sweatpants. His skin is soft and the muscles beneath it feel solid against your fingertips. 

He moves one hand lower than the other, to the waistband. You curl your fingers around it and he pulls your wrist back. He now pushes your other hand lower and you slip it into the sweats. All you feel is skin—he’s not wearing any boxers. He releases your wrists and puts his hands back on the dresser, swooping down to kiss you again as your fingers wrap around his already hard cock. 

It feels good to have him back in your grasp. You stroke him as he deepens the kiss, his tongue snaking inside your mouth. You bring your other hand up to cup the back of his neck, pulling him harder against you. You can’t kid yourself—you want to give yourself to him. You want to know what it feels like to have him inside of you. 

As if reading your thoughts, he breaks the kiss. 

“Turn around,” he says.

You waste no time in doing as he bids. 

You’re now facing the mirror attached to his dresser. His arms are still around either side of you, flexed and deliciously toned. He’s looking at you through the reflection. It’s the first time you’e seen yourself next to him. Your first instinct is to feel inferior, but with him this close, and you enclosed in his arms, you can convince yourself it feels and looks right. 

He stands up straight and places his hands on your hips, squeezing them. His hands slide up and down your side in a way that tickles, causing you to move away from his touch. His lip quirks up at you through the mirror. 

His hands cup your breasts and you watch your reflection. It almost feels as if you’re removed from the scene—watching for a separate type of pleasure. His gaze is fixed on your body as he plays with your nipples. You can’t help but move your hips back against him. 

He pushes your breasts together with one hand as the other slips down to your pussy. You immediately move your feet a little further apart to which he chuckles. 

“Chan,” you breathe as his hand finds its home between your thighs. “Be good to me tonight.” 

Your words come out as a soft plea. 

He responds by kissing you on the cheek as his fingers slowly slide back and forth across your pussy. You don’t know what to make of that response. He’s proven himself to be good at being a sour patch kid—sour then sweet. Or sweet then sour in his case, actually. 

He pushes down his sweatpants and slowly lowers you down so your chest is pressed against the dresser. He takes a moment to admire his handy work from the night before, rubbing and squeezing your ass. You keep your eyes locked on his reflection, your breath fogging up the mirror now that you’re so close to it. His hand leaves your ass and moves to his cock, gripping it at the base as he slides it up and down your slit. 

When he’s settled at your opening, his left hand grabs your hip, holding you in place. Your eyes are locked on each others as he slowly slides himself in. You want to squeeze your eyes shut, steal a moment for yourself to revel in the feel of him inside you. But you also want to remember how he looks right now. The way his lip is caught between his teeth, eyes filled with some kind of lust. 

You watch his face intently. He averts his gaze and sucks in a breath as he watches his dick move in and out of you. One hand is still at your hip as the other uses your shoulder for leverage. You prop yourself up on your elbows and push your hips back to meet his thrusts. The side of his mouth quirks up at your movements.

You moan as he starts moving faster, dropping your head to the desk and squeezing your eyes shut.

He doesn’t like that.

You feel his hand move from your shoulder to the back of your head. He tangles his fingers in your hair and yanks your head up. Your eyes snap open just in time to see him leaning down towards you.

“Watch,” he whispers in your ear, “I want you to see how good you look when I fuck you.”

You moan again at his words, looking at yourself in the mirror, watching as your tits bounce up and down with each thrust. He lets go of your hair and uses both hands on your hips to bring you back and forth against him, harder, faster. 

He keeps fucking you, panting and grunting while you watch. As his movement quickens and he grits his teeth, he abruptly pulls out of you, taking a step back. He takes a deep breath and slaps your ass. You don’t squeal, you don’t scream. You moan and look back at him with soft eyes. You want more. 

“On the bed,” he says. 

You step from around him and walk to the bed, turning around to face him when you’re near it. He steps out of his sweatpants and kicks them to the side.

“How do you want me?” You ask. 

“Now you’re being a good girl.” He nods his head with a crooked grin. He places one hand on his cock as he walks towards you, stroking it. “On your back.” 

You sit on the bed and scoot back on it before laying down. He puts his knees on the bed, still stroking himself as he looks down at you. 

“Fuck, y/n,” he groans. 

The way he says it, the way he’s looking at you makes you squirm. You want him back inside of you. He pushes your thighs apart one at a time with his knees and lowers himself on top of you. 

“Hands above your head.”

You put your hands up so they’re resting on the pillows and he holds them together with one hand. With the other he guides himself back into you. Once inside, he moves his hips ever so slowly, in and out. 

He presses his thumb to your clit, rubbing it in teasing circles. You wrap your legs around his waist, locking your ankles together behind his back. You start to move your hips against him, wanting him to go faster. 

He looks up to you and gives the tiniest head shake. You stop your movements with a soft whine. 

He picks up the pace, watching your face contort with pleasure. Whenever you let out a moan and move your hips against his, he slows back down. He repeats the process, squeezing your wrists together as you try to free them. You want to at least touch him, but he’s too content playing with you. 

He brings himself closer to you, first kissing you, then moving down to your breasts. He takes each nipple into his mouth, in turn, licking, nipping, pulling at it with his teeth while he looks up at you. All the while still rubbing your clit with his other hand each time he pulls his hips back and has access to you. The sight of him ravaging your body is one you hope to never forget. 

The stop and go of all his combined stimulation starts to peak. You tighten your grip around his waist. 

“Fuck me, please. I’m gonna—“ You let out a moan, as he bites down hard on your nipple.

“Ah-Ah,” he shakes his head again, looking up at you with your nipple still between his teeth. He sits up and releases your hands, resorting back to his torturous, slow hip movements, hands resting on your knees. “Remember lesson number two?”

You blink up at him, trying to focus on what he means. It’s hard to think of anything else when he has you this close to release. Lesson two? You think back to your second night and it dawns you.

 “Chan,” you say his name slowly, moving your hands up to his chest. “May I? Will you please make me cum?”

He grips your thighs and readjusts them so your legs are on one side of his neck. He lifts you upwards at an angle and wraps his arm around your thighs as he starts pounding in to you with fervor. His other hand continues playing with your breasts. Groping them, slapping them.

“Fuck,” he says as you dig your nails into his arms now that your hands are finally free. 

You watch, enraptured by the sight of him above you. His abs contracting with each movement. His hair disheveled, some of his bangs sticking to his forehead. His skin glistening with a thin layer of sweat. You’ve never seen him look better.

“You wanna cum?” He asks.

“Please,” you beg, nodding your head.

“Who do you belong to?” He growls, slapping a hand to your breast and squeezing it.

“You,” you reply without hesitation, flinching at the pain.

“What does that make you?”

“Yours,” you breathe, as you continue to hold yourself back from release.

“Say it again,” he pinches your nipple between his fingers.

“I’m yours,” you whimper, wrapping your hand around the opposite side of his neck from your legs. “I’m yours, Chan.”

“Good,” he says, eyes on yours as he smirks and fucks you. “Cum for me, y/n.”

Your back arches as your toes curl. You use all the strength in you to pull him down to you, stealing a kiss as your orgasm courses through you. He doesn’t resist. He doesn’t get upset. You’ve quite literally never been so bent as you are in this position, but you don’t care. Having him kiss you wildly as you cum around his cock is absolutely worth it. 

As you’re still coming down from your wave of euphoria, he sits up and pulls your legs apart. He grips one thigh in each hand and continues thrusting into you. You’re moaning—it feels so goddamn good, you could cry. 

He throws his head back, grunting and tightening his grip on your thighs as he finishes. 

His movements start to slow, his breathing turning into soft pants. He lets go of your thighs and lowers himself to you again. He brushes your damp hair back from your face as he looks you deeply in the eyes.

“That was lesson three,” he winks. 

An unexpected laugh falls from your lips and he chuckles, pressing his forehead against yours for a moment. You feel like your heart could soar right now. A genuine laugh shared. 

“Grab on to me,” he says. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and lock your legs around his waist again. He scoots you down on the bed then picks you up, carrying you into the bathroom. You bury your face in his neck, smiling—sex drunk. Happy. Delirious. 

He holds on to your waist as he turns on the shower, keeping you in his arms while the water heats up. There’s no light on in the bathroom, but his shower head flickers from blue, to green, then settles on red. His hands tangle in your hair again, gently tugging on it to pull your head up from his neck. His eyes search yours for a moment and you have no idea what they’re trying to convey. He pushes your head towards him and kisses you slowly. The kiss is tame and unassuming—it’s not leading up to anything further. It’s just two people temporarily caught in the haze of their connection.

He takes you into the shower with him and leans you against the wall as he continues kissing you, letting the water drip between you. You don’t know how long this high will last, he could go right back to being an asshole in the next minute, so you want to enjoy this version of him as long as you can.

[ read chapter six here ]

a/n: share your thoughts <3

tag list: @iflmho /@skzstaykatsy / @blackhairandbangs / @ayoitschannie / @idunnomanmynamewastaken / @charmer-c / @ihatemen55 / @channiesprincess / @channniesslefttt / @jiwoos-babygirl / @kayleefriedchicken / @krayzieestay

[sanjisblackasswife]

Calling OP Boys “BabyGirl” (Black Fem! Reader)

Ft. Sanji, Zoro, Law, Shanks, Luffy, & Ace (May do more if anybody wants that)

CW: Uhhh nothing I don’t think…well..a little suggestive with Sanji ???

Sanji

“Babygirrllllllluhhh!”

Mans is immediately confused seeing how you’re the only one besides him in the kitchen.

“Don’t you mean Mr. Prince, my beautiful y/n!?”

“I said what I said.”

“But I’m not a girl!”

“It’s not about gender it’s about the mentality of it all, my pretty baby girl.” You approach him.

Sanji couldnt be more confused but immediately feels his cheeks get warm considering you got closer to lean your arms on his shoulder looking into his pretty eyes. “So is it okay if I call you….baby girl too?” He asked nervously which caused you to chuckle. You pulled back from his face to glide your index finger on his exposed chest and smacked your lips. “Of course you can! But…I’d rather you call me, Princess.” You mumble the nickname on his lips before slapping a quick peck. “It just sounds prettier though when you moan it.” Your words are too much for him as he shuts the stove off and take your hand to your bedroom.

Sanji knows you love to tease him and he believed you have been doing that since you stepped in the kitchen so you also know the consequences of doing that to your lustful blondie.

He may or may not have proven that he isn’t always just babygorl, but daddy as well.

That was so cringe I’m so sorry.

Zoro

Mf immediately wants to throw hands with you.

“I’m a man dammit!”

“No. No you’re babygirl for real.”

“HOW!?”

“Well I know me calling you that has nothing to do with gender but….”

You grab one of his tiddies (they were begging to be touched I mean common he was wearing an opened jacket) and he swats your hand away. “STOP DOING THAT I AM NOT…I’m not…” his face got so pink on his pretty tanned skin he just looked away from you and actually started to pout on the ground. All you could do was sit beside him and giggle. “It’s a compliment you ass.” He didn’t want to hear it. Calling the future greatest swordsman “BABYGIRL”!? Unforgivable!

“Love youuu.” You peck his warm cheek, however you didn’t even have time to pull back when Zoro quickly grabbed your chubby cheeks and kissed you! He wasn’t the best kisser, but the way how he focused to suck, lick and even take some nibbles of your bottom lip had you breathless. “Heh..” he chuckled wiping the spit off his lips. “You’re the baby girl…”

Law

(I really hope this isn’t fanart if it is lmk and I’ll change it)

“Babygirl!!!!!” Your pretty bright smile would have usually gotten him to smile back as you busted into his office, but he immediately frowned at his new found nickname.

You give him a lot of nicknames

“So this week I’m babygirl, huh…”

“Noooo.” You sit on his desk beside him and take his hat to wear you love annoying this man sm

“You’re always babygirl. MY babygirl.”

“Why not at least ‘babyboy’?” You shook your head at his suggestion. “Babygirl FOREVA. BABYBOY NEVA.” “Enough.” He put his index and middle fingers in your mouth and you being you. You sucked on them. Law does this to you more often than he’d like to admit, but still looks dumbfounded when he sees you always wrapping your little wet tongue on his tatted fingers.

“Why are you like this?”

“Because you’re babygirl.” You managed to drool all on his fingers and he immediately felt grossed out and pulled them out your mouth with a “POP”.

Law literally does not know why he’s dating you sometimes.

Ace

He didn’t even hear you say it.

He was knocked out on your tummy, but he looked so cute!

You wiped away the crumbs he had on his face from this morning’s breakfast off of his freckled cheeks admiring how pretty he was.

“Babygirl…” you pushed his hair back a little.

He stirred with a groan on your exposed belly wiping his wet lips on you in the process

“Well hello..” you smiled down at him. He rose his head the best he could looking up at you only his eyes showing, looking as drowsy as ever. “Did you say something?” You giggled shaking your head no. You’ve called him babygirl before but he never actually caught on. He either didn’t hear you or was too distracted to register what you said.

He was still babygirl whether he knew it or not.

Luffy

“Huh! I’m not a girl, you are!” Luffy laughs at you patting his head on the deck calling him such a funny nickname.

“I know…but you are still my babygirl.” You stretched out his cheek making you both laugh.

Mf is literally such a good sport and just wanna be included in your madness.

“Ok if I’m babygirl AND boy. then you’re…baby!…my..baby!”

“Yes! I am your baby!” You giggle at his hand now patting your hair and kissing your cheek with his lightly dry lips. He didn’t care what you called him as long as you still viewed him as the future king of the pirates.

Shanks

HE WAS THE ONE TO SUGGEST IT

THREW YOU OFF COMPLETELY

“YOU WHAT?!”

“I think the name fits me better babe…”

“EXCUSE YOU YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS WHO TOLD YOU THAT—“

“Doesn’t matter, you better call me it.”

Shanks has alcohol on his breath as he breathes on your lips holding you by the ass to give a form squeeze making you gasp. “You—“ He cuts you off with a sloppy wet kiss that ends with a POP sound and laughs. “That was so baby girl of me.” You nearly gag at how old this man can act.

[cursedonyx]

Sebastian Sallow ABCs

Headcanons for our favourite freckled heathen 💚

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Holy SHIT this boi is affectionate. Constant hugs, cheek kisses, hand holding, even randomly picking you up off the floor to hug you from behind or throw you over his shoulder for shits and giggles. He’s got no problem with PDA’s and sometimes considers it a bit of a challenge to see how uncomfortable he can make others with how all over you he is. He’s a bit of a show-off and wants the entire world to know you’re his, and he’s yours.

In private, he’s just as affectionate, but considerably calmer. A moment not cuddling or kissing you is a moment wasted, and he’s particularly fond of nuzzling your neck, especially if it distracts you. He needs your attention like he needs oxygen, and he can get a little suffocating at times, but do be gentle with him if you need some space. He’s a sensitive thing, and craves your approval, even if he won’t admit it.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

The best way to describe a friendship with Sebastian is chaos. He’s enthusiastic, cheerful, playful, and daft as a brush. He isn’t afraid of embarrassing himself for comedic purposes, loses games and playful bets with grace, and is freely giving of his time and energy to those he loves. He’ll do anything for you, but he does expect some level of reciprocation, and may become a little irritated if he feels he’s not getting the same level of commitment back after some time, even if he won’t ask for it. He’s used to people taking advantage of his kindness, but not his best friends.

He takes the time to learn about you, watching you carefully and asking pointed, sometimes blunt questions, though he will respect you if you decline to discuss certain topics. He’ll find out soon enough anyway, he’s remarkably easy to talk to.

If he wants something specific from you, he will badger and pester and poke until you give in or lose your temper – trying to talk him out of it rarely works, as he’s extremely good at manipulating conversations to his benefit, precisely because of how well he knows you. Don’t misunderstand, Sebastian doesn’t mean to do this maliciously – he’s very strong-willed and firmly believes what he’s doing is right, or necessary. Losing your temper with him will bring him back to earth with a bump, and he will be extremely apologetic. He means it when he's sorry.

If you need him for anything, he’ll be there for you, regardless of whether it’s venting to him about something, asking his advice, going on an adventure, or just having a little cry. He wants to be there for you, and will be, no matter what. He’ll take the fall for you if you get into trouble, but he never outright asks to be repaid for that, trusting you to help him out when he needs it.

He’s mischievous, cheeky, and a terrible influence. He’s hilarious.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

All of the cuddles, all of the time, in any and every way imaginable. If he’s not flumped on top of you, he’s pulled you onto his chest so you can flump. His absolute favourite way to cuddle is his head on your stomach or chest, and you playing with his hair. It drives him wild, and if your relationship is at that stage, it won’t remain a cuddle for long. If you need to distract him, run your fingers through his hair, and he’ll be putty in your hands.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Loves cooking. Hates cleaning. Laundry day is the WORST. Can’t bake for shit but will float around the kitchen if you do until you let him lick the bowl, then he’ll leave you alone for ten minutes. He works best if there’s some kind of routine, and you remind him (regularly) when it’s his turn to do the dishes. He’ll grumble about it, but will do a good job. He prefers it if you do household chores together, especially if he can distract you from it, or turn it into some kind of game.

He’d love to settle down with the right person, but only after a year or two of adventuring and exploring the world with you.

He’s indifferent about children. Honestly, he’d really rather not, he wants you all to himself, all the time, and he’s traumatised by his parents’ deaths and how he was treated growing up. Knowing how dangerous the world can be (and how much trouble you two can find yourselves in), he doesn’t want to risk having children, only for you, or him, to die. He knows how that feels and doesn’t want any more children to suffer it. But, if it’s what you want, he’ll eventually agree, and will be a caring father, even if he does miss the time when it was just you two.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Being the fiery guy he is, there would be an argument. You’d have to do something pretty major for him to want to leave you, and he’d be devastated. Emotional. Shouting, and probably crying with rage and pain. He’d storm out, and he wouldn’t come back. He’d be heartbroken, but his pride wouldn’t let him return. If you want a chance at having him back, you’d need to go after him, but he’s stubborn. Even if it hurts him, if you hurt him enough for him to want to leave, his decision would be final.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married? How would they propose?)

Seb tends to let his heart rule his head, and if he’s in love with you, he’s going to want that to be forever. He would want to marry you as soon as he was able to, regardless of whether or not he can afford to. Hell, he’d make you a ring of woven grass if that’s all he could manage, and to him, once it’s on your finger it would be more precious than diamond. He’d try and do the right thing, saving up and getting you a band of gold and gems, making sure he can support you, trying to plan the perfect proposal with Ominis’ help, but knowing him, “will you marry me?” will be at the forefront of his mind for months leading up to the actual event, and chances are he’ll blurt it out way ahead of time.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s a firecracker, and sometimes forgets his own strength. He will try to be gentle and is extremely good at comforting you if you need it, but he can be pretty rough physically, without meaning to. If you’re arguing, he’ll say things in the heat of the moment that he doesn’t necessarily mean, and will regret it immediately. If he’s calm, he’s the gentlest person you’ve ever met.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He’s pretty touch-starved, and craves hugs from those he loves. He’ll accept hugs from those he doesn’t know so well, but he’s less keen. The first time you hug him will stick out in his memory as much as your first kiss, especially if you initiate. He’ll take the chance to hug you whenever he can, and his hugs are surprisingly tender. He loves resting his head on yours, or on your shoulder, and letting his weight rest against you if you’re strong enough to hold him.

I = Intimacy (How do they like to be intimate? Any preferences/kinks?)

Sebastian can best be described as a submissive-leaning-switch. As much as he loves to please you, he can’t help but lose his mind when you take control, swiftly devolving into a begging, whimpering, desperate mess. This is a side he only shows to you. On occasion, especially if you’ve spent the day teasing him and winding him up, he will be ferocious and take what he wants the moment he’s able.

He fully understands the word ‘no,’ however, even if he’s moments away from sliding into you, he will stop, as difficult as he finds it.

He’s open to exploring with you, save for the more extreme kinks. He’s not adverse to being restrained, and he’s almost embarrassed to admit how much he loves your hand on his throat.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s a freckled little green-eyed monster, this one. He won’t ever try and stop you talking to other people, and tries to see any flirting as playful banter. But, it doesn’t take much for him to see things as going too far, and he’ll always blame the other person you’re talking to, getting cross with them and encouraging you away, complaining about them as soon as they’re out of earshot. If someone oversteps their boundaries, he would hex them without a second’s thought, or, if he actually does take a moment to think, he’ll challenge them to a duel.

If you’ve been deliberately flirting to make him jealous, consider it mission accomplished. He will either whisk you away to make out with you or sleep with you to mark his territory, or he’ll sulk, and petulantly find someone else to flirt with until you get jealous. With his charm, it’s very easy for him to do.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

If you looked up the word ‘passionate’ in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of Sebastian. He loves bringing you close to him and holding you tight, tracing his lips over yours before moving over your cheek and down your neck. A quick peck will leave him breathless and wanting more, and he’ll take it if he’s got the chance. Your lips are his favourite thing to kiss, and if you’re intimate, he’ll lose his mind if you kiss his hips.

L = Love (When do they say ‘I love you?’ How are they as a romantic partner?)

When Sebastian falls, he falls hard. You take up every spare inch of his mind, often pushing aside other matters. He always wants to know how you are, where you are, who you’re with, and wants to be with you every moment of the day. He’ll be carefree and playful, doing everything he can to make you smile. If he makes you laugh hard enough that no sounds come out, he considers it an achievement and will strut around like a proud pigeon for the rest of the day.

Passion is Sebastian’s middle name, and this extends to him as a romantic partner. He loves like a wildfire, bright and fierce, all consuming. It can be exhausting, but he does appreciate the softer moments with you, and adores laying his head in your lap, or on your chest so you can play with his hair. If he’s not said it before, he’s nervous about telling you he loves you, just in case he’s made a mistake, and he’s got it wrong, and you don’t feel the same way. But he'll say it regardless, most likely in the heat of the moment, when you’ve fought off a band of goblins, or when he climaxes with you. He makes sure to tell you at least once a day, to make sure you know, and hearing you say it to him makes him grin and giggle like a kid.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

This one is NOT a morning person. He hates waking up before eleven, and even then, it’s a struggle to get out of bed, especially if you’re with him. He wants to be snuggled up to you, halfway between sleeping and waking, forever. His favourite part of the day is when you’re sleepily nuzzling and cuddling.

If he’s forced to get up, he’s happy to just fall into his clothes and go about his day, preferring to shower and such before bed. He occasionally skips breakfast in favour of an extra half an hour in bed.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Sebastian is often up until the wee hours, reading and researching his latest passion. He appreciates the quiet and the still the night brings, and tends to be more active from 5pm onwards. If you’re a night owl too, he’ll relish being able to lean against you as he reads, and he adores it when you drift off in his arms, to the point he’ll toss his book aside and just hold you. If you’re more of a morning person, he’ll make an effort to keep to your routine, but if he's in bed before eleven he’ll be awake for hours, tossing and turning and unable to settle, unless you wear him out.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s pretty open about most things, but when it comes to his childhood, especially with Solomon, he doesn’t talk about it much. If he does, he tends to speak of it as though he’s struggling with a difficult colleague, distancing himself from the relationship without realising it.

If you’re romantically linked, he will eventually open up to you about what he suffered. It’ll take a moment or two for him to get going, lots of false starts and uncertain words, but then it’ll all come tumbling out in a rush. He’ll speak for hours without realising it about all he went through, jumping ahead in the timeline, or back, depending on how the memories hit him. He may get jumbled, telling the story of one event, then switching to another because he's just remembered it, then falling back to the original story. Such is the way with trauma.

Any advice you give him in overcoming what he endured will be met with acceptance, and a willingness to try. He may become frustrated if it doesn’t work immediately, but he’s not one to give up, and he will see results eventually, finding it easier to accept what happened to him wasn’t his fault.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Hotheaded AF. Easily annoyed, easily angered, but just as quick to cool down. Will occasionally say things he regrets in the heat of the moment if he’s rowing with someone he loves, and against an enemy, he can be very cool-headed, but his anger will still take over and he can be quite violent. He gets frustrated easily, especially if he’s trying to do something important, and the results just aren’t showing, but he won’t give up. If anything, the frustration just makes him more determined until his goal consumes him. Best to head him off early or distract him.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Sebastian has a very good memory for detail, considering the amount of time he spends researching. He’ll often surprise you by bringing up some tiny thing you told him years ago, something you may have even forgotten yourself. He can be distractible and distant if he’s caught up in something, but you’re important enough to him for him to set whatever he’s involved with aside, and he’ll remember what you need him to.

That said, if he needs to remember something he really, really doesn’t want to do (like going to visit your horrible great aunt felicia or going to the dentist) he’ll quite conveniently ‘forget’ and plan something else.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

He couldn’t pick if you asked him. Everything about you is precious to him. But, if push came to shove, he’d remember all the times you stood by him, stuck your neck out for him and supported him when no one else did. The moment he realised he was in love with you will stand out in his mind until his last day.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Sebastian is wildly protective of you, and will often try to get in front of you if you’re battling poachers or other enemies, even if you’re a more powerful fighter. His protectiveness can border on possessiveness, and he’ll get angry if you’re hurt, throwing out ideas of revenge that won’t really go anywhere. He’d wrap you up in cotton wool if he could, but at the same time, he adores the danger the pair of you get into, especially as it’s quite the aphrodisiac for him once you’re both victorious and safe.

If you get protective of him, it’s a little confusing for him at first, but he quickly adapts to loving how much you care. He’s rarely had that before, and it means the world to him that you’d stand up for him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Sebastian puts a surprising amount of effort into his dates and gifts, trying to make each experience unique and special. That said, once he finds a formula that works, he tends to stick with it, varying it up a little here and there. When it comes to you, no effort is too much, but he never goes overboard, understanding that too much can be off-putting.

He’ll always see something through to the end, regardless of the task, unless it’s something he truly wants to avoid doing, and then you’ll have a very difficult job in finding him until he thinks the ‘danger’ has passed.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Personal space? What’s that? Sebastian’s visceral need to be with you at all times can be suffocating, and you get the feeling he’d follow you to the loo if you let him. He understands the need for personal space, and alone time, and he’ll respect it if you put your foot down, but he needs reassurance that you’re still his, he’s still yours, and you’re not asking to be apart from him because you’re growing tired of him.

He’s very nosy, and if he thinks you’re hiding something, he’ll pester and pry for an answer, especially if he’s worried about you. It all comes from a place of love, but his insecurities, growing up as a twin and his love of knowledge makes him want to know everything.

Jealousy: Sebastian’s jealousy can be overbearing at times, and he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. A gentle, but firm conversation is needed to make sure he learns to respect your boundaries. Credit to him, once he knows what your boundaries are, he will respect them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s cute and he knows it. Sebastian’ll make an effort with his appearance, of course, but only to the point to make sure his hair is brushed, his teeth are clean and his shirt’s not inside out. He’s got a kind of casual grace, and with his frame, everything seems to suit him. He does care what you think of him, though, and if you tell him something looks good on him, you can bet your bottom dollar he’ll be wearing whatever it is until it’s worn to threads. Compliments on his appearance mean a lot more coming from you.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

His world would end without you. If he lost you, for whatever reason, he would spend the rest of his life trying to find a way to bring you back, even if you die. And if anyone could succeed in this regard, it would be Sebastian.

X = Xtra (Random headcanons for them)

He won’t admit it, but he’d do anything for a bar of Honeydukes’ Best Chocolate. Think Scooby Doo and Scooby Snacks – it’s that level of ‘I want that in my tummy.’

Despite everything he’s been through, he’s resolutely cheerful, to the point it’s almost unhealthy. If he trusts you enough to cry in front of you, that’s a sign you’ve found a friend or lover for life – he doesn’t even cry in front of Ominis.

His bond with Anne mimics the usual twintuition – they have a way of knowing what the other is thinking, feeling or doing, even if they’re apart, which is partly why he was so desperate to cure her, he could literally feel the pain she was experiencing; knowing it was so much worse for her than the small twinges he'd occasionally get made him almost mad with fear for her.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

You’d need Anne’s approval – if Sebastian’s twin doesn’t like you, that’s going to be a problem. He trusts her opinion. If you don’t like her, he’ll lose interest faster than if you’d shat directly on the dining room table.

Sebastian’s always up for a joke and banter, but he doesn’t like cruel humour that’s designed to upset someone else to make others laugh. Bullies make him angry, and he doesn’t want anything to do with a bully.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sebastian’s sleep is troubled, especially after Solomon, and considering that it's pretty much established that he didn't have his own bed in the cottage (though this has enabled him to fall asleep literally anywhere). His childhood is full of trauma, losing his parents, the abuse he suffered at Solomon’s hands, Anne’s curse… as he tends to push things down and try and be cheerful, this comes out in nightmares. He occasionally wakes up screaming, even though he tries to pretend it doesn’t happen. He sleeps better when you’re holding him, and if he manages to process his trauma, he’ll sleep through the night. He falls asleep very easily, but he’s a light sleeper and will wake up regularly.

[stardustjie]

𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜

when ellie wanted to go on a walk and you confessed your feelings for her (female reader, fluff)

author's note: this fanfiction was written in may 2023, so way before the current events in palestine. i apologise if posting this is inappropriate. please, boycott and donate to palestine if you can

"so, there is this theory. the universe is essentially cyclical, its destined to end and start again the exact same way. this means history has followed the same path since the dawn of time, humans have suffered and will suffer since we are meant to live the same life over and over an infinite amount of times. however, this also means we have been lived this exact moment and infinite amount of time. we are destined meet in every life, every single one of them" you said, enfolding yourself in ellie's jacket.

it was march. spring was slowly coming and the evening air was still quite cold, enough for ellie to lay her jacket on your shoulders the moment you started complaining about the temperature. there was a party in jackson and you didn’t care enough to ask what the reason to celebrate was. you just wanted to be there if ellie was there. you came earlier than everyone else, watching the door waiting to her to walk through the entrance. you saw her after a good fifteen minutes sat at your table and in a few moments she was sitting in front of you. when the music became too loud she asked if you wanted to keep talking outside.

"basically we are cursed" and she giggled. you were walking right outside the pub, trying to get away from the crowd and stay alone for a while. ellie started to talk about the universe before, about some theories she read on a book she found during one of her patrols. good heavens, you could listen to her ramblings for hours. you hoped that fun fact could impress her, at least a little bit. you could smell her on her jacket, so you squeeze its hems and ellie seemed to notice.

"so meeting me was a curse?" you jokingly asked and that was enough to make the other girl blush. you could feel her nervousness. it was dark already and the street light created a good atmosphere, everything made her face look ever prettier. you couldn’t wait for the summer to come, it would have accentuate her freckles and she would have her iconic half-bun hairstyle.

"absolutely fucking not! i mean... its probably one of the few things i want to experence again. like reading my favourite chapter for the first time again" she clumsily tried to explain, moving her hands a little bit to emphasize the concept. hoping it would make it make sense. for a moment you thought she could physically hear your heartbeat for how hard it was. you had a crush on ellie for quite a while and multiple times you found yourself doing whatever you could to spend more time with her. you even considered joining the patrol training. "how did we started talking about this?"

"well, we started talking about your comic serie, then about the universe and you got a little passionate about the topic. and i shared this amazing theory. i read a few articles in the library the other day, i thought you might find it interesting." you started, looking away to the street. you were to embarassed to actually look at her in the eyes and you could really feel the blood reaching your cheeks, so you decided to focus on a random point in the other direction. "i wanted to impress you. sometimes you start your ramblings and i find myself unable to reply, so i started looking for something to say. that's how i found the most depressing theory ever"

for a good moment you could only hear your own steps on the cobblestone and the confused background noise. ellie just stopped for a moment whike hearing your explaination, her eyes looking into the nothingness in front of her and her mind just internally replaying everything you have said. you stopped after a few steps, turning around just to see ellie lost for a second. before you could ask if everything was okay, she started talking. "wow... i mean, this somehow makes the idea less depressing"

"honestly? i would go through everything just to meet you again and i'm glad the thought of you doing the same isnt that depressing anymore" you replied smiling. in a few seconds ellie was right beside you like before and you just kept walking in silence. a little bit closer this time. the only sounds that filled the silence were your steps and some background voices you didn’t bother to listen. nobody could bother your personal heaven. and if the universe had to be destroyed and recreated to make you live it again, so be it.

"just to be clear, meeting you was the best thing that happened to me so far" you specified, still holding the hems of her jacket between your fingers to keep it on your shoulders. you had the courage to look at her and smile, waiting for a reaction. it was getting late, you were out of the town centre at this point and your two glasses of liquor at the bar made you braver than you would have thought. it was late, the stars were shining right above the two of you and there was no one around you. even the street light were fewer.

you walked a little faster, just a few steps and turned around to face the other girl. ellie had a perplexed expression on her face as she stopped. you slightly leaned forward, towards her. it was difficukt to describe how loud your heartbeat was in that instant and you could physically feel the change of the atmosphere, it was more tense and sentimental. you closed your eyes and took all the courage you had. you couldn’t go back anyway. "if the universe has to collapse to make each other meet again then good. if we had met each other in every universe, in every timeline,... i wouldn’t want to meet anyone else"

saying ellie was startled would be an understatement. little did you know she was hoplessly trying to hide her crush on you or how fast her heart was beating when she had the opportinuty to give you her jacket. you didn’t know about the times she looked at you from afar or how she talked about you to her friends when they were alone or about the many times she wrote about you in her journal. and now there she was, looking at you with wide eyes and not a single word on her mouth as you were essentially confessing your feelings for her.

you waited for her answer for a few moments. you tilted your head and watched her unsure of how you should behave, biting your own lips for the nervousness. you were almost sure you fucked up your friendships at this point. "oh, fuck" she started. her mind was crushing for a hot minute, not really processing what you said. you could see redness speading across her cheeks and over her freckles, decorating her face. "no, its just that... shit"

"too cheesy?" you asked with a slightly embarassed face. at this point you couldn’t really care anymore about whatever feeling of nervousness you have felt during the time you had a crush on her. crush that, at this point, was quite too obvious. it was the perfect moment, the perfect background to have either a romantic confession or your heart broken. it was worth it regardless.

"its the right amount of cheesy" she replied, hiding her mouth behind her hand. ellie never thought anyone would ever think of a space-themed love confession, especially she never thought the prettiest girl in town would confess her feelings for her with a space-themed love confession. "its the perfect amount of cheesy, actually" she commented quietly. she sighed.

you didn’t move a centimetre the moment she walked into your direction, so painfully aware of every step she took. of her perfume and how much you wanted to disapoear in the crook of her neck to snell it properly. of how warm her hand was when she reached for your cheeks. and under the stars, you kissed.

[gingiesworld]

We’re Family

BlackHill x (17) GN! Reader/ (17) Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad @lizzieislife94x (If you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

18+ MINORS DNI

Ever since Y/N was found two years ago at a Hydra facility in Russia, the team had brought them back to the compound. The twins, although the same age bonded with them, made them feel at ease. Pietro was more of a whirlwind and overly energetic but Y/N found themselves attached to Wanda, but they also kept their distance. Afraid that this was all some dream their mind had concocted.

The nightmares were the worst, memories of the torture and pain they had endured during their time at Hydra. Nat and Maria both found themselves spending most nights beside them, comforting them until they were able to fall asleep again.

“Is this real?” They asked one night as they woke up screaming, alerting the two women. “Being here? Being safe? Is it real?” Natasha’s heart broke as she saw the pain and uncertainty in their eyes.

“This is real.” Maria told them, taking their hand in hers as Nat held them close. “You being here and being safe is all real.”

“I promise you will never feel alone again.” Natasha told them softly. “You will always have a family here.”

“So, you guys don’t want to just use me for my powers?” They asked them barely above a whisper.

“No.” Natasha shook her head. “We want to keep you safe, give you the choice of what you want your future to be.”

“The twins have the same choice.” Maria informed them. “Wanda told me that she wants to become a doctor. She wants to help people and not by using her powers.”

“Well, Pietro wants to join the Avengers.” Nat laughed as the other two chuckled. “But you have that choice and all of us here will help you, whatever you decide. After all, we are family.”

The next few days, Y/N remained studying with Wanda, all three of them being homeschooled while they learned how to control their powers. Wanda was also helping them decide what colleges or career paths they wanted to take.

“I don’t know.” They groaned as Wanda smiled at them. “It’s hard to just decide.”

“What is something that brings you peace?” Wanda asked them as they smiled tenderly at the witch.

“Being around you.” They answered her honestly, smiling as a blush formed on Wanda’s cheeks. “But, I do like the idea of helping people.”

“Then, there is public services, the medical field and the Avengers.” Wanda told them.

“Maybe I should be an Avenger.” They leaned back in their chair. “Besides, someone has to look out for your brother.”

“That is true.” She chuckled as she gazed into their eyes. This past year she had seen them in a different light to usual, she found herself admiring them from afar. The gray of their irises has become her favourite colour. She has also taken note of the small scars on their neck, their freckles that dotted their face, the way their eyes shine when they smile.

“Are you ok Wanda?” They asked her as she shook her head with a smile.

“Yes.” She answered them as she closed her books. “I just. I have to go.” She disappeared as fast as Pietro entered the room, a smirk on his face.

“My sister likes you.” He told them as he took Wanda’s seat.

“No.” They shook their head as Pietro nodded.

“She is my sister and I have known her forever.” He told them. “She really likes you Y/N.”

“Why?” They asked him as he shrugged.

“Beats me too.” He teased them. “But I can see that you like her too.” He stood up and patted their shoulder. “Talk to her.” Was all he said before running out of the room, leaving Y/N to walk towards Wanda’s door. Knocking quickly before they chickened out.

“Y/N?” She questioned as Y/N nodded.

“Hi.” They spoke nervously. “May I?” They gestured inside her room.

“Sure.” She opened her door wider for them to enter. “What’s up?” She asked them as she nervously played with her sleeves.

“I like you?” They spoke unsurely. “Well, I haven’t really had anyone talk to me about this sort of thing. I don’t remember my parents and well, the only parental figures I have here are Nat and Maria.” Wanda smiled as they rambled. “But I’ve seen descriptions of how one feels when they like someone more than just a friend.”

“Do you have this weird feeling in your stomach?” Wanda asked boldly as she stepped closer to them, they answered her with a nod, their eyes watching her every move. “Do you feel happy and elated whenever you’re around me?”

“I do, and I feel safe and comfortable, like I’m not afraid to be who I am with you.” They spoke shakily as Wanda now stood before them, her hand ghosting over their cheek as she gazed into their eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” She whispered as they just nodded, leaning in with trembling lips as they shared their first kiss, Wanda’s soft hands cupping their face as they wrapped their arms around her.

“Wow.” They whispered when the two pulled apart.

“Yeah.” Wanda smiled as she pecked their lips once more.

“Can I take you out?” They asked her. “On a date?”

“I would love that.” She answered as she dragged them to join her on the bed as they watched her favourite show. Relishing in the new found love between the two of them.

[chickenlizard13]

Catching Up To Do

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Reader (gender neutral)

Word Count: 8122

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Description: Happens during their 7th year.

Too Far Away (Part 2) No One Else (Part 3)

It’d been a hard year. Well, almost two really, but who was actually counting?

You were. And Ominis. It felt like the two of you kept track of each second Sebastian was gone. Not just gone, disappeared. After Solomon had been killed in the catacomb, triggering Anne’s departure, Sebastian just…vanished. Not a word to either of you.

You’d spent those first few months searching. Every night, every holiday, every weekend. You and Ominis would hole up in the cold, empty Sallow home, praying he’d wander in. He’d made some awful, terrible, wicked decisions, but every night you spent flying over the hamlets, all you could see were his wide eyes as he watched Anne cradle Solomon’s lifeless body. He’d just been a boy, helpless, trying to save something he loved more than life when it seemed everyone else had given up. It’s like he’d been stuck in quicksand, the harder he fought, the faster he sank.

At first, you were angry. Angry at him for leaving you and Ominis to pick up the pieces, angry at him for pushing things so far, angry at yourself for letting him. You’d fooled yourself, believing he’d stop if you were serious enough, believing your words would be able to change his trajectory. You were wrong.

After the anger, came the sorrow, great heaving waves that would crash down on you, beating your battered body against the ocean floor. Some nights you’d find yourself sobbing into Ominis’s shoulder, hating yourself for your weakness, surprised Ominis didn’t hate you too.

Eventually, your sorrow became a deep loneliness. A hollow feeling in your chest, driving you to keep searching, everywhere, anywhere. You imagined that this loneliness may have been something akin to the driving force Sebastian felt. Underneath all that rage, had been a terrible, all consuming loneliness. He’d simply missed his sister, just as you now missed him.

After a year, you stopped. You couldn’t do it anymore, breaking your own heart night after night, cursing the heavens for their cruelty. It was too much, and you hated yourself even more for it.

Ominis continued to search. Not as often, but you knew there were nights he’d walk the dark streets of Feldcroft, hoping to catch a glimpse of messy brunette hair, atop a mischievous freckled smile.

He knew you stopped, and he never faulted you for it. Never blamed you for anything, simply acknowledged your actions with a quiet understanding. Even though you didn’t go looking anymore, you’d still catch yourself gazing at the gates or searching the crowded halls, disappointed every time.

—-------

The start of your 7th year was uneventful. You greeted your friends with enthusiasm, some already lamenting that this was your final year together before life led you elsewhere. You’d laugh, telling them to slow down and focus on classes before planning any goodbye parties.

You’d spent the first week welcoming the first years, catching up with your housemates, and studiously ignoring the haunting visage of broad shoulders and brown locks, disappearing into crowded corridors. These brief hallucinations were nothing new, and you vowed to enjoy your final year, despite their frequent occurrences.

You’d spent far too long chasing ghosts, perhaps it was time to move on.

—-------

You were charging down the steps of Central Hall, incredibly late for Herbology, having fallen asleep in The History of Magic, again. Several books and loose notes were clutched in your arms, many just barely hanging on by the edges.

You weren’t paying attention to your surroundings in the slightest, nearly falling headfirst over the handrail in order to avoid barreling into anyone.

Successfully shoving your way through a group of Quidditch players, you emerge, only to ram your face right into a hard chest. Dropping your supplies, you yelp in pain and cover your nose, afraid you’d broken it and would need to head to the Hospital Wing. You doubled over, shooting off some incredibly creative expletives you were sure would make even the Hogshead regulars blush.

Squinting through your tears, you could see that the stranger had stopped, having used Levioso to catch all your books. You start spewing apologies, while repeatedly thanking them for gathering your belongings. You still hadn’t looked to see who you’d bumped into, the figure being much too tall to be anyone you knew. Determining that your nose wasn’t broken, you blink away the remaining tears and go to grab your books from the kind man. He’d had yet to say anything, and patiently stood, unmoving in front of you.

Looking up, you attempt to apologize once more, when the words die in your throat. The boy…man, standing in front of you was significantly taller than the last time you’d seen him, your eyes level with his chest. Some of the youthfulness had disappeared from his face, leaving a chiseled jaw and prominent cheekbones, his freckles accentuating their contour. You struggled to take in oxygen as your eyes scanned his face, subconsciously noting a new scar decorating his brow, and another faint one across the bridge of his nose.

You stood there frozen, having completely forgotten your earlier rush, trying to figure out if your grief had taken your hallucinations to a whole new level. Perhaps you really did need to go to the Hospital Wing after all.

He looked back at you just as silently, face stoic and unreadable, but never taking his gaze away from you. His eyes darted around your face, as if he was memorizing you, noting the changes he saw, lingering on your lips for a fraction of a second before darting away.

A book still hung suspended in the air in front of you, forgotten as you studied each other, the room and bustling students fading away until it was just the two of you. You stood there with wide eyes, watering with the need to blink, but refusing to do so lest he disappear again.

A small whimper escapes your lips, and you see his eyebrow twitch at the noise, hands and jaw clenching as you take in a shaky breath.

“Se…bastian?” You whispered his name quietly. So quietly, you weren’t entirely sure if you’d spoken at all. He blinked, and suddenly the spell was broken. His face became stony, and he used his wand to place your remaining book into your arms before brushing past you. You thought you heard him grumble ‘You’re late’ as he passed, but couldn’t quite hear him over the blood rushing in your ears.

He left you standing dumbstruck, staring at the space he’d just occupied, startling when you felt something wet hit the back of your hand. You brought that hand up to your face, feeling the wet tracks sliding silently down your cheeks, unsure of when you’d started crying.

—-------

You’d walked in a daze to Herbology, miraculously managing to still make it on time. Professor Garlick set to reviewing a few key points from the previous year before starting the lesson, which you barely paid attention to, instead operating completely on autopilot until the class had ended. You continued on like that for the rest of the day, many of your friends asking what had happened, but only receiving a distracted ‘nothing’ in return.

Wandering down to the Undercroft, you hoped Ominis would be there, if only to tell you that you’d finally gone mad and it was all in your head. You failed to hear two voices rising in volume as you descended into the room, unable to take your wide eyes off the floor, where they’d lingered all day.

The gate opened and you shuffled forward, the tense voices immediately halting as you spoke.

“Ominis, I-I think I saw S-...oh.” Your eyes dragged themselves from the floor, landing on the scene before you. Sebastian and Ominis stand, staring at you from the center of the room. You’d clearly just interrupted a very heated conversation, judging from the furrowed brows and angry flush the boys were sporting.

Sebastian’s gaze hardened as he stood up straight, jaw clenching once more as he looked at you. Breaking eye contact, he swiftly strode past Ominis to the exit.

“We’ll continue this later.”

You wanted to call out to him, beg him not to leave again, but he felt too far away. It was like you were standing alone on an island, watching your ship purposefully sail away from you. Your mouth opened to speak as you watched him pass you, but no sound came out, a helpless look in your eyes.

A snarl sounded from behind you, coming from deep in Ominis’s chest. “Sallow! Don’t you dare walk away, you coward. Get your ass back here and give them an ex-”

“I have nothing to say to them.” His words hit you square in the chest, a pained noise forcing itself out of your throat.

Back to you, he hesitated only a moment, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides before exiting the Undercroft without another word.

Your body shook violently, hyperventilating as your breath came in quick succession. You were crying again, staring at the door he’d left through, trying to keep it together. Ominis called to you urgently, rushing to your side as you heaved air painfully into your lungs. He threw his arms around you, trapping your arms against your sides as he squeezed you.

He kept reassuring you, asking you to breathe with him. You shook your head, hysterically repeating that everything was fine, you were fine.

You both sunk to the floor, earth shattering sobs wracked your body as you held onto Ominis’s arm for dear life. You could feel a wet spot from where Ominis pressed his cheek up against your shoulder, allowing himself to cry with you as you got your breathing semi under control. You held each other for a long time, parting only when you felt calm enough to head to your separate beds, resolving to speak at a later date.

You lay in bed that night with dry eyes, unable to shed another tear. Staring blankly at the curtains surrounding you, the night dragged on, sleep avoiding you at every turn.

—-------

It’d been a couple days since the incident in the Undercroft, your mind felt a bit numb, no doubt caused by the raging storm of emotions that’d been plaguing your thoughts. Ominis had been unable to meet you since that night, 7th year classes bogging you both down, leaving little room for anything else. You sat alone in the library, tucked away in a back corner hidden from prying eyes, quietly trying to focus on your pile of assignments.

Realizing you needed a specific book to complete your paper, you stand from your chair and walk to the appropriate section. You squint at the spines, trying to make out the tiny lettering, noticing that the book you were after was filed incorrectly and was sitting on a much higher shelf. Sighing, you reach into your robes for your wand, confused when your pockets come up empty. You look at the floor, wondering if it’d fallen, until you recall placing it on your study table next to your stack of homework.

Heaving another heavy sigh, you stare up at the book, wondering if it was even worth it to walk all the way back for your wand. Standing on your toes, you try to stretch as far as you can, fingers just brushing the lip of the shelf you needed. Grunting in frustration, you put one foot on the lowest shelf and pull yourself a little higher, fingers now grazing the spine, but unable to get a good grasp.

As you were about to put your other foot on the next shelf, opting to just climb the bookcase, an arm appears above you and removes the book from the shelf. Scrambling down, you spin around to object.

“Oh! Um, I was actually trying to-” Your eyes travel upward and find themselves captive to Sebastian’s intense gaze. His hand had paused above you, the corner of the book still resting on the edge of the wood, effectively trapping you between him and the bookshelf. Your mouth felt dry at the close proximity, but you refused to break eye contact.

“Um…I need that.”

You swore you could see the slightest quirk of his lips, as if he wanted to smirk at you, but held it in. “I know. That’s why I grabbed it.”

He slowly lowers his arm, handing you the book gently. You take it hesitantly, accidentally brushing his fingers with yours. He’d been very careful to keep his distance even with the close proximity, so you felt his fingers jerk away when they’d touched yours, as if he’d been shocked. His brow twitched, lips turning down into a frown. You didn’t want to see that look on his face, so you broke eye contact, looking at the floor.

“Thank you.” Careful not to touch him again, you stepped around him and started walking back to your table. You wondered why he’d helped you, seeing as how he clearly didn’t want anything to do with you. Pausing your movement, you turn toward him once more, face still directed at the ground.

“I’m sorry.” You weren’t sure when the next opportunity to speak to him would present itself, if it would present itself, so you wanted to say your piece while you had the chance.

He quirked an eyebrow at you, putting his hands into his pockets before leaning a shoulder against the bookshelf. “For what?”

Apparently he was in a more talkative mood today, seeing as how these were the most words he’d spoken to you since his return. You looked up at him, feeling a little braver, and did your best to not stare at his exposed forearms. He really had grown up quite a bit over the last two years.

“For…being weak. I couldn’t- I couldn’t help Anne, and…and if I were stronger, maybe I could’ve. Then you wouldn’t have had to…go away.” Chancing a glance, you could see a pinched look on his face, his brow scrunched together in a look of distress.

The almost pleasant atmosphere was gone, replaced with a tense weight that threatened to crush you if you pushed too hard. Looking back at the floor, you clutch the book to your chest, trying to use it as a kind of shield against his ire. “I understand why you…hate…me, but I just-”

“I don’t hate you.”

The words were murmured quickly, his voice so low you had to strain to hear him. You glanced up, a look of heartbreak rested itself on his handsome face, the most emotion you’d seen from him thus far.

Letting a sad smile slip onto your face, you held his gaze. “You don’t have to lie.”

Deciding that your heart couldn’t handle more, you turn on your heel and quickly walk back to the rest of your belongings, gathering everything into your bag and checking out the book. You could do your assignments elsewhere, for now you just needed to put some distance between yourself, and the man watching your back longingly.

—-------

After that, you did your best to avoid Sebastian entirely. Making sure to always look busy, or seem engrossed in a conversation if you passed him in the halls. You noticed he and Ominis had started hanging around each other again. Often surrounded by tense silence, but you were glad to see them putting forth the effort to fix their relationship. You didn’t see much of Ominis, the blonde mainly focusing on repairing things with Sebastian, which was fine. You had plenty of other friends to spend your free time with, but you did miss his company.

One person you found yourself gravitating towards was Garreth Weasley. He was social, and could talk to anyone about anything, making him incredibly easy to be around. Which is what you felt like you needed, an easy friendship that didn’t demand that much from you. You’d often walk together between classes, laughing as you teased him about his crush on Poppy, his freckled face growing redder every second.

Sometimes, you could sense a pair of eyes boring into your back, the feeling fading as soon as you’d turn to look.

Days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, a whole month had passed. Mid term exams were fast approaching and you were on your way to the library with Garreth, arguing playfully about the number of lacewing flies needed for a Felix Felicis potion. Garreth was adamant that the more flies you added, the more potent the potion, but you were pretty sure it would cause an explosion.

You weren’t paying attention to where you were going, and bumped directly into Sebastian, for the second time. You bounced off him lightly with a small ‘oof’, noting that he didn’t move an inch, clearly having planted himself in your path. You look up at his face, noticing his gaze trained directly on Garreth, who looked back slightly unnerved.

“I need to talk to you.”

Sebastian didn’t break eye contact with Garreth, so you assumed he was speaking to the redhead, but after a beat he turned his eyes expectantly in your direction. He hadn’t phrased it as a question, his tone leaving little room for you to object, but it would be rude to ditch Garreth when the two of you already had plans, so you tried anyway.

“I can’t really talk right now. Garreth and I are-” Sebastian’s eyes shot to Garreth again, a dark glare daring the other boy to challenge him.

“You know what, that’s totally ok with me. You, uh, go have that conversation, and I’ll get a head start on the assignment.” Garreth hurried off to the library without looking back. Sebastian tracked his movement with narrowed eyes, turning back to you once you were alone.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Sebastian crossed his arms as he spoke, a grumpy set to his brow. He stood close, forcing you to look up at him as he towered over you. You squeezed your books a bit tighter against your chest, trying to stop its incessant pounding.

“Have I?”

Sebastian huffed, brows furrowing further.

“Don’t play coy with me.”

You bit the inside of your lip, studying his face, trying to pinpoint his angle in this conversation. “Is it really ‘avoiding’ if you don’t want to see me anyway?”

He got that pinched look again, and no matter how hard you looked, you still couldn’t discern its meaning. “I never said I didn’t want to see you.”

Some of that old snippiness you’d get when arguing with him started to resurface, and you shot back at him without thinking. “Your attitude seems to indicate otherwise.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, his scowl deepening. “How would you know anything about my attitude, when you’ve clearly been avoiding me?”

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, suddenly remembering the stress headaches he’d give you when he was being particularly stubborn. “Sebastian. What- What is it you want? First you’re storming out of the Undercroft, refusing to speak to me, and now you’re upset that I’ve been giving you a wide berth? I’m getting whiplash from the constant back and forth. So what is it?”

You don’t hear anything for a moment, the air charged and hanging dense between you two. Just as you’re about to tell him to forget it, he speaks.

“I’m sorry.” You open your eyes to see him staring at his shoes, the same pinched look back on his face. “Ominis and I had a pretty bad argument before you came down that night. I…was feeling emotional, and took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

You weren’t sure if it was due to shame or not, but Sebastian was struggling to look you in the eyes, like he was afraid of what he might see there. You let out a small sigh, arms coming to cross over your heart protectively.

“I can understand that. You probably didn’t want to see me anyway so-”

“Stop saying that.” His voice is fierce, beckoning your eyes to look up at him. He traps you in his stare as soon as your eyes meet, a pleading look behind his irises. “I did want to see you. I do want to see you.”

You look at him helplessly, trying desperately to decipher what his eyes were trying to tell you. Your voice comes out in a pained whisper, unable to mask the deep hurt his absence created. “Then why didn’t you?”

His face crumples and he has to break eye contact, looking back at the floor. He bites his lips and blinks a few times before taking a deep breath, voice matching yours in volume. “I-I can’t tell you…right now. Not because- because I don’t want to. I just, need a little bit more time.”

Looking at Sebastian in this moment, it seemed like the weight of the world rested on his broad shoulders. You could see that whatever happened in his absence had aged him well beyond his years. As much as you wanted to demand answers from him, you could clearly see how close he was to the edge, and didn’t want to be the thing that pushed him off.

“Ok.”

His shoulders slumped immediately, all the tension leaving them. He didn’t remove his eyes from the floor, but released a sigh while nodding his head. “Thank you.”

The two of you stood there in silence for a moment longer, unsure where to go from here. Sebastian glanced up at you through his lashes, scuffing his foot on the floor. “I guess you should, uh, get to Garreth.”

Truthfully, you’d completely forgotten about Garreth, suddenly feeling guilty for keeping him waiting for so long. “Yeah, I guess I should. Um, see you…later?”

The question came out shaky and unsure, but Sebastian nodded his head instantly, letting out a quiet ‘yeah’ before bidding you goodbye. You walked past him towards the library, and could hear him turn to watch you disappear down the stairs.

————-

You started slow. Giving each other small smiles and waves in the corridor, or across The Great Hall during meal times. From there, you escalated to walking each other to class, keeping conversations light. Safe.

It was clear that you’d both changed while apart, and you wanted to take your time getting to know this new person, dressed in such familiar skin.

Your heart would leap in your chest every time you got a chuckle out of him, feeling like you’d put another crack in his shell with each one. You tried not to let the giddiness show on your face, often looking down, lips trembling with effort as you fought a wide smile.

Ominis would often accompany you to your shared classes, giving you a small sense of normalcy after being without for so long. It wasn’t what it used to be, not by a long shot, but you hoped the three of you could get back to something similar.

Sebastian picked up Quidditch again. Well, it was more like Imelda grabbed the back of his collar and physically dragged him all the way to the pitch for practice, telling him that he’d do well to put his new muscle to good use. He’d tried to protest, giving up quickly, as he had enough sense to know he shouldn’t piss her off too much. You hadn’t been aware that Sebastian was even on the Quidditch team, but Ominis informed you that he’d been one of the top Chasers in Hogwarts before the season was canceled in your fifth year.

You were walking to Potions with Garreth, being interrogated about what he should get Poppy as a courting gift, when you felt a dark aura heading down the hall toward you. Turning your head from Garreth, you see Sebastian stalking towards you, a slight scowl on his face as his eyes dart between the two of you. Sebastian wasn’t overly fond of Garreth. Why? You couldn’t say, but Sebastian was always extra cranky when the red head was around, refusing to explain himself. You’d tried asking Ominis once, but all he did was sigh and say ‘Because he’s an idiot.’

Whatever the reason, the scowl on his face remained firmly in place as the three of you converged, stopping briefly.

Garreth hadn’t the faintest idea as to why Sebastian disliked him, but still made an effort to be welcoming and friendly whenever together. “Sebastian!”

“Weasley.” Garreth didn’t let the brunette’s curt greeting phase him, even as Sebastian crossed his arms, scowl deepening.

“Excited to see you back on the pitch tomorrow! Hope you kept up your flying during your time abroad.”

Anytime someone would inquire about Sebastian’s long period of absence, he’d simply state that he’d been a part of an exchange program, studying at one of the other magic academies. It was enough to placate most people, many too intimidated by his stoic mask to pry further.

Sebastian’s eyebrow twitched, taking Garreth’s friendly competition as a slight against his abilities with a broom. “I’m not the one you should be worrying about.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, pondering a way to break this weird tension. There had been several attempts to correct Sebastian on Garreth’s intentions, but every time he’d narrow his eyes at you, muttering ‘That’s just what he wants you to think’ under his breath before staring daggers over at the Gryffindor table.

Just as you were about to excuse yourself and continue walking to class, hoping Garreth would follow, a smug voice called your name, the figure strolling up to your group with unwarranted swagger. Turning, you pray it’s Ominis, even though you know it’s definitely not.

Leander Prewett came to a stop beside you, much too close for comfort, an over confident smirk plastered on his mouth. “Hello, dearest. How are you on this fine day?”

Sebastian ground his teeth together, a deep irritation rolling off him in waves. “Fucking perfect.”

You’d been forced to inform Sebastain of Leander’s unfortunate fixation on you, when he’d sent you a poorly written love letter, via howler. Crouching in the hall, you covered your mortified face with your hands as Leander’s howler screamed his misguided feelings for all to hear.

His obsession started all the way back in the beginning of sixth year, when you’d made the mistake of complimenting his physique. He’d been upset that a girl he fancied turned him down, convincing himself he was too ugly to love.

In a well meaning attempt to cheer him up, you’d disagreed and said he was very handsome, promising someone would be very lucky to have him one day. To your dismay, he took that as a confession, immediately swearing his love and loyalty to you for the rest of his days. You’d tried ever so gently to correct him, but he’d refused to hear it, choosing to believe that you were just shy, embarrassed by your feelings for him.

Now, in the midst of your seventh year, it seemed he was still in hot pursuit, all of your rejections falling on deaf ears.

Sebastian heard all this and went on the offense, looking Leander dead in the eye as he shredded the letters with his fingers and set every bouquet on fire. This did little to deter Leander, vowing to rescue his love from the clutches of the beast guarding them.

“Get lost, Prewett. They’re not interested.”

Leander scoffed, turning his nose up at Sebastian, ignoring him completely. “Anyway, my sweet, would you care to join m-”

“No thank you, Leander. As I’ve said before, I’m not on the market.” Your words are monotone, practiced, saying the same line you had a hundred times before.

Sebastian visibly stiffened, eyes boring into you as his face dropped a bit. Furrowing your brow, you tilt your head at him in silent question, confused by his reaction. Leander laughed loudly, as if your comment was meant as a jest.

“My pet, of course you’re not on the market! Obviously you’re with m-”

“No. I’m not, as I’ve said several times before.”

Deciding you’d had just about enough, you grab Garreth by the wrist, walking quickly towards the potions classroom. “We’re going to be late for class. Sebastian, I’ll see you later?”

All you got in return was a distracted nod, Sebastian’s mind clearly elsewhere. You wanted to ask what was wrong, but you really were going to be late for class if you didn’t hurry. Throwing him one more concerned look over your shoulder, you and Garreth hurry to Professor Sharp’s class.

—-------

You didn’t end up seeing Sebastian for the rest of the day, or the morning after. The next time you spotted him was on the pitch, during warm ups for the quidditch game between Slytherin and Gryffindor. Garreth gave you an enthusiastic wave, which you returned, while also gesturing with your head to Poppy sitting beside you. He blushed slightly, also waving at her shyly, a nervous smile painting his lips. Poppy reciprocated in much the same manner, looking down at her hands in embarrassment.

You searched the field and locked eyes with Sebastian, who’d just witnessed your interaction with Garreth, giving him an encouraging smile as you mouthed the words ‘You’ll do great’. His face was impassive as he nodded his head slightly, turning back to focus on his teammates.

Hoping to get the chance to speak with him later, you turned your attention to the field as the players got in position. You could see the tension in everyone’s bodies, the air charged as they waited for the signal, and as the horn blew, they were off.

Your eyes were glued to the field, watching in awe as the players maneuvered their brooms with skill and ease. During your fifth year, you’d bested Imelda in the training courses she loved, which was mostly thanks to the upgrades Albie had installed.

Watching her now though, you were convinced it had been a fluke. She turned her broom in a tight corkscrew zipping straight towards the ground, pulling up at the last second in pursuit of the Golden Snitch.

Scanning the field, you spot Sebastian tossing the quaffle through yet another hoop, diving after it quickly as soon as it’d gone through. He deftly dodged the bludgers hurtling towards him, focus unbroken as he scored again. It seemed to you that a good portion of the Gryffindor team was focused solely on slowing him down, failing at every turn. You were unable to take your eyes off him, the way his uniform hugged his body at the forefront of your mind.

Looking down quickly, you mentally chastise yourself. You’d just barely become friends again, sort of, and you weren’t about to jeopardize that in any way. He still hadn’t revealed to you why he’d left, a part of you still convinced it was because of you. Furrowing your brows, you shook your head a bit, trying to dispel the depressing thoughts that had begun to form. Instead, you focus back on the game, eyes still periodically straying to Sebastian’s form.

Leaning on the edge of your seat, you watch with bated breath as both teams continued to score on the other, the tension reaching its peak when both were tied at 140. It was anyone’s game, each side needing to score one last goal to claim their victory. Imelda remained focused on the snitch, having little regard for the other players as she ducked and wove through them.

You heard shouts of excitement from the stands, straining your eyes to see what the commotion was about.

Finally, you see Sebastian swiftly swipe a quaffle out of Garreth’s hands, speeding towards the Gryffindor goals, laser focused. Almost every Gryffindor player abandoned their formations, instead attempting to converge on Sebastian before he scored. Unfortunately, they were too late. Not that it would have mattered anyway, for at the same time Sebastian scored the final goal, Imelda shot to the sky triumphant, Golden Snitch clutched in her hand.

You’d never seen anything like it. No wonder Imelda had been so forceful about Sebastian joining the team, together they made quite a formidable pair. Everyone in the stands lost their minds at Slytherin’s double victory, and you shouted with the rest of your friends, heart swelling with pride over Sebastian’s achievement.

Everyone rushed down to the field to congratulate the players, even commending the Gryffindor team for their exceptional skill and near win. You pushed through the throngs of people, looking in every direction for the brunette.

Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you whirl around, only to be faced with Leander’s smug grin, his uniform damp from playing.

“Come to cheer me up, my sweet? Your kindness knows no bounds.” He moves forward to embrace you, and you swiftly put up your arm, keeping him at a distance.

“Leander, seriously I’m not-”

Leander continues to advance on you, forcing you to take a step back for every one he takes forward. There isn’t anywhere to run in such a thick crowd, but your eyes dart around for any possible escape routes. “Oh come now, stop being so coy, we’re finally alone aren’t we? Where’s your scary guard dog, hm? I don’t see him.”

“He’s right here.”

A cold, angry voice growled lowly in your ear, sending a chill up your spine. Sebastian stares hard at Leander’s hands stretched out towards you, clearly attempting to stop your obvious retreat.

You, however, completely forget Leander’s existence as you crane your neck up to look at Sebastian. There are beads of sweat decorating his brow from all the energy he’d exerted, his slight flush emboldening the scars he’d yet to explain to you. You stare at his rugged beauty for a moment longer, lost in counting the freckles littering his cheeks, before remembering the major victory he’d just accomplished.

Without thinking, your body twists itself around, and you practically throw yourself at him so hard he has to catch you. He makes a grunt of surprise and stumbles back a step before steadying you both.

Your arms wind themselves around his shoulders, squeezing him as tightly as they can, a mad grin on your face as you speak into his ear. “I’m so fucking proud of you. That was amazing. I’m so glad I got to watch you play.”

He doesn’t return the hug, body tense as he stands there in shock. Noticing his lack of reciprocation, you suddenly remember how hard he’d been working to avoid any physical contact with you. It hurt at first, his aversion to your touch, but you’d respected it as a silent boundary he’d put up as a condition of his friendship.

Suddenly you feel awful, having crossed that boundary thoughtlessly in your excitement. You thought you were truly no better than Leander, and immediately went to retract your arms, an apology already on your lips.

Sebastian feels you loosen your grip on him, and his brain finally catches up. He wraps his arms around your torso, crushing you to him, almost squeezing all the air from your lungs. His face finds the crook of your neck, burying itself as deep as it can go.

“Please don’t stop.” His words are quiet, desperate, lips brushing your skin as they move. You freeze at his plea, confused, but remain where you are.

“I’m sorry, I- I was just so excited. I didn’t mean to push you into-”

“No. You didn’t. I…it’s- it’s ok.” His arms tighten impossibly around you, asking you to squeeze him just as hard.

“But…you’re always so careful not to-”

“I didn’t want to become greedy.”

You almost miss his quiet confession, his murmuring and the noise from the crowd making it difficult to hear his words. You think that maybe you weren’t supposed to hear them as Sebastian nuzzles further into your neck. “I’m sorry. This is…the first hug I’ve gotten in…a long time. Could you just- could you just stay…here, with me?”

Nodding your head as best you can, you card your fingers through his hair, holding his head to you, uncaring of the sweat dampening it. His breath shudders out of him, body melting further into you.

You stay locked like that until people start filtering off the field, and he’s called away for a debrief with his team. He releases you reluctantly, hands lingering as long as they’re able, bidding you a goodnight before trudging after the rest of the players.

—-------

It seemed like the floodgates opened after that night, Sebastian finding any and all reasons to be touching you in some way or another. Whether it was linking your arms as you walked together, or capturing your ankle with both of his while you ate across from each other. It was overwhelming at first, going from no contact to pressing his leg flush with yours in class, but it certainly wasn’t a change you were complaining about.

Sebastian became more at ease. His smiles coming easier, his laughs getting louder, talking more than he had the whole year. He really started spending time with you and Ominis, rarely being seen without one of you, if not both.

You were thrilled, you really were, feeling like you were finally seeing the real Sebastian, but there was a constant nagging in the back of your mind. He still hasn't explained his disappearance, and you wondered if, maybe now, he was comfortable enough with you to talk about it.

Sebastian asked you to come with him to the Undercroft after class, not wanting to fight through the crowds in the library that appeared right before exams. Packing your things, you automatically take his arm, touching him becoming second nature. He guides you down the hall, a small pleased smile gracing his lips. Opening the clock face, he ushers you inside with a gentle hand on your lower back.

Once in the room, you lean your backs against the wall, shoulders pressed together as you complete your assignments in comfortable silence.

He interrupted the silence with a question about Diricawl breeding, needing the answer for his Beasts class paper, which led to you sharing a wild story about the vanishing bird.

You told him how someone has snuck an irate Diricawl into the Slytherin Common Room, unleashing it on poor Ominis, who was unable to avoid its beak as it teleported around the room after him. You had tears in your eyes as you recounted the disheveled, panting state he’d been in when he’d run into you, begging you to catch the damn thing and stop his torment.

Sebastian laughed with you, clutching at a stitch in his side. “When- Merlin’s beard, When did this happen?”

You wiped your eyes, laughter trailing off slowly, a soft melancholy coming over your features. Avoiding eye contact, you keep your gaze on the piles of homework in front of you. “When, um…when you were gone. In our sixth year.”

The atmosphere became stifling as an awkward silence befell the room. Clearing your throat, you picked up your quill again, continuing to work on your assignment.

A moment passes, the scratching of your quill the only sound in the room. You see movement from the corner of your eye. A hand stretching across you, fingers gently brushing yours as they take the quill from your hand, setting it down. You don’t look at Sebastian until he calls your name softly, slowly turning your eyes towards him.

His face is pained, gaze searching your face as he starts to speak. “Please don’t- I…I thought I was going to hurt you.”

Eyes widening, you turn further towards him. He breaks eye contact, looking down at his lap as he fiddles with his fingers, murmuring quietly. “I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you. Either of you. You were…are so important to me, and I thought that if I…stayed, you’d-”

Sebastian’s breathing shuddered, hands trembling slightly as his words became watery. “-you’d end up like my uncle. And- And then Anne left, and I was so scared something would happen to her, I tried to…find her, but I couldn’t, and-”

Blinking, you feel wet drops hit your hands, but you refuse to look away from Sebastian as he tries to speak. “I was too afraid to face you, or Ominis. Knowing I’d failed everyone I loved was- was too much, so I…I ran.”

“...Where did you go?” He looked at you then, finally seeing the tear tracks down your face. Bringing a hand up, he wiped your cheeks with his thumb, fingertips lingering before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I…I went far. As far as I could. I…became a mercenary of sorts, getting paid to clear out poacher camps, or deliver high value items across hamlets. I thought that…maybe if I did as much good as possible…I could be forgiven. That you’d forgive me.” His hand continued to pet your hair as he leaned his head against the wall, suddenly too heavy for his neck to support. He gazes at you sadly, memorizing your face in case you never speak to him again.

You gaze back just as intently, once again mapping the changes in his face, quietly mulling over his words. “Why- Why did you come back?”

His hand stilled, resting on your cheek. Unconsciously, you tilt your head further into his palm, craving more contact.

“I missed you.” He says it so sincerely, like it’s the only true thing he’d ever said in his life. “So much.”

You feel like the wind is knocked out of you, but still manage a whisper. “Then…When I saw you…why-”

“I was afraid. I didn’t know what to say. You looked like I’d carved your heart out of your chest and ripped it to shreds. I thought that I’d made a mistake…coming back, so I decided you’d be better off without me.”

Shaking your head, you grabbed onto his arm, holding his wrist securely, suddenly afraid he’d disappear again. He blinked, a few tears falling from his lashes as he bit his lip. “...but I couldn’t stay away. I tried to, but every time you looked at me…I couldn’t get enough, and I hated myself for it. I still do.”

You hiccupped, and his thumb collected your tears once more, knuckles lightly brushing your cheek bone when he was done.

“If I was a stronger man, I’d let you go, but…I’m not.”

You sobbed openly. Sebastian pulled you into his lap, rocking you back and forth as you cried into his chest. You told him how much you missed him, how worried you were, how you’d go out looking for him every chance you got. You begged him not to leave again, wailing all your hurt into his sweater.

His arms tightened with every word you spoke, face buried in your neck, tears soaking your collar. He apologized over and over, the two of you holding each other for dear life until you’d stopped crying, and then for a long while afterward. Only parting when the Bell Tower signaled the start of curfew.

—-------

Time passed slowly after that, weeks going by as the season gradually changed. There was something unnamed between you and Sebastian, several of your friends commenting on how sweet he was towards you. If Ominis happened to be around, he’d look at them quizzically and ask what they were talking about, stating that Sebastian had always treated you that way. You weren’t sure if you completely believed it, but Ominis was adamant that this was Sebastain’s normal behavior around you.

Walking the halls, you attempted to give Garreth the pep talk of the century, trying to boost his confidence for his rendezvous with Poppy. “You got this Garr, no sweat, just tell her how you feel.”

He took a deep breath and looked at you nervously. “You sure it’ll be ok?”

“Yes! I’m positive. I couldn’t be more positive. Just trust me on this.”

He took another deep breath, bouncing in place a few times, trying to shake out his jitters. “Ok. I’m ready. I just- before I go…”

Garreth takes both of your hands in his, squeezing a little, his smile nervous but warm. “I just…want to thank you, you know, for being my friend. You’ve always been there for me, probably more so than I’ve been there for you, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate y-”

Your hands are suddenly ripped from Garreths and your world turns upside down. You’re thrown onto a broad shoulder, an arm securing you in place as they walk away with you. You look up at Garreths shocked expression, mouth hanging open, hands still outstretched from where he’d held yours. Turning as much as you can, you look at the back of the perpetrator’s head.

“Sebastian!” Looking back at Garreth, you see him take a few steps to follow.

“It’s ok Garreth! Go on ahead! Good Luck!” You had to shout at him to be heard, Sebastian putting as much distance as possible between you and the redhead.

“Sebastian! Wha- Put me down! This is so embarrassing!” He ignores your cries and continues walking, other students stopping their activities to watch you flail on his shoulder. You recognize the path he’s taking, crossing your arms and giving up your struggle until you get to your destination.

Sebastian only puts you down once you’ve crossed the threshold into the Undercroft. Your arms stay crossed as you glare up at him, Sebastian mirroring your pose, refusing to break eye contact. You squint at each other in silence for a beat before you speak.

“What the hell was that.”

Sebastian doesn’t speak for a moment, jaw clenching as he regards you.

“Go on a date with me.”

He’s so grumpy when he asks, or rather demands, that you’re not entirely sure you heard him correctly.

“...What.”

Sebastian sighs, annoyed that he has to repeat himself.

“You’d probably prefer someone like Garreth, but I’m throwing my hat in the ring. Go on a date with me.”

Your brain short circuits for a moment, but then is irritated with the tone he’s chosen, and any shyness you might have felt flies out the door.

“And this is how you’re asking?”

His brow furrows deeper, offended. “How else am I supposed to ask?”

You scoff and turn your nose up at him, turning your head to glare off into the Undercroft. “Whatever. It’s not like there’s even a ring to throw your hat in. It’s you, idiot.”

Sebastian makes a confused noise, and you turn to look at him again. His arms had partially come uncrossed, a surprised look on his stupidly handsome face. “But…you told Leander you’re off the market.”

You roll your eyes. Unbelievable. “Yeah, for him and everyone else. You made sure of that a long time ago, whether you knew it or not.”

He stands there staring. ”So…you and Garreth…?”

“Oh my- Are just friends. He’s actually confessing to Poppy as we speak, which you so rudely interrupted when you decided to act like a barbarian.”

Sebastian strode up to you, ignoring your irate words, stopping half a step away. Towering over you, his eyes were wide with wonder, hope glimmering behind them. “So…I can have you? Am I- Am I allowed to?”

“For the love of-” You grab his tie and crash his lips into yours. You linger for only a moment before pulling back just enough to glare at him, still annoyed. “Get it together Sallow, you’re embarrassing me.”

You hear a sound coming from his chest, starting as a low hum, slowly building itself up to giddy giggles, before exploding into loud laughter.

“I fucking love you.” He grabbed your cheeks between his palms and yanked you into another kiss, struggling to wipe the grin off his face enough to do it properly.

He gathered you as close to his body as he could, frantically kissing everywhere he could reach. All you could really do was hang onto him as he lovingly attacked you. Eventually he returned to your lips, his kisses turning more passionate the longer you stayed together.

“You’re telling me *kiss* I could have *kiss* been kissing you-” He groaned as he kissed you again, pressing further and lingering longer. “-this whole time?”

He couldn’t stop long enough to let you answer his question properly, so you did the best you could. “Yeah, you’re mmff-*kiss* -fucking late.”

He chuckled, pulling away just enough to speak clearly.

“Guess I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

[platrom]

One Last Chance.

Midoriya x F! Reader, Bakugou x F! Reader (partially/eventually)

WORD COUNT: 20.7k words

NOTE: Here is the ending to OLT. What do you all think? Please leave me some comments!!

If you guys would like to see side stories to this or have some questions, please send some asks! My inbox is always open. And if you have any other story ideas, please request as well.

TW: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, flashback scenes, hospital setting, mentions of prior and current injuries, death, talk about perceptions of death, mentions of suicide attempt/suicide, fluff, therapy, Bakugou has undergone therapy, childhood best friends, toxic friendships, unrequited love, happy ending, the voice leaves, a new voice appears (is personified), reader has a panic attack in a fancy restaurant, reader and Shoto are friends, Bakugou has genuine friends, the reader is loved, kind of ambiguous parts in the ending (must read first part to understand it), reader confronts Midoriya, reader kisses Bakugou

THIS STORY MUST BE READ WITH THE FIRST PART— IT IS NOT A STAND ALONE.

PART 1 / PART 2 (HERE)/IMPORTANT ASK

BAKUGOU OBSERVED your shaken figure as it faded into the distance, head hung low and fists clenched in agony. When you first pulled away from him and continued onward, your feet tapped lightly against every slab of concrete you trekked on, until after a few yards your brisk walk bursted into a hurried sprint. Nobody nor anything was spared a second glance as you fled from his presence.

Candidly, he couldn’t blame you. Bakugou had overstepped your boundaries and attempted to plow through the brick walls you had built around yourself for the sake of your welfare. He understood how you felt and how overwhelming such an invasion of privacy was, notably with his straightforward approach. Bakugou was notorious for diving headfirst into situations, but that didn’t mean it was invariably appropriate.

For instance, now.

Howbeit, he didn’t know what else to do. Bakugou may have gone through years of therapy and anger management courses (thanks to that spiky-haired idiot), but that didn’t mean he knew how to confront everyone about their personal endeavors.

Tackling his own issues differed from helping others address theirs. He had friends, family, and a therapist to talk him through his problems and conjure solutions with. Even his fellow colleagues wouldn’t mind lending a comforting shoulder for Bakugou to lean on; the people around him had read countless books on how to support loved ones who were struggling.

Bakugou had a support system that took years to discover, expand, and wholeheartedly trust. With thousands of hours of therapy under his belt, he was blessed with tools to aid him in the gloomiest and sunniest of days, with or without his therapist by his side.

In comparison, you were not armed with the same lessons and techniques as he was.

Not yet, at least.

Bakugou wanted to change that.

For all of his years of friendship with you, he analyzed your growth and development as a person: how you went from an adorable and frivolous child who was insouciant to the prying eyes of others into a beauteous, percipient young lady who shied away from any unforgiving glares. He remembered how decades ago you, him, and Deku would tussle around in your childhood playground’s decrepit sandbox playing Heroes.

Bakugou had invented the game when you and Deku had been laying against one of the thick blue poles that held up a patent yellow slide incised by impetuous teenagers that lurked around the park at the perturbing time of midnight. To his dismay, despite being in front of you both, none of you batted an eyelash at him. He wasn’t even aware of what you two were discussing, but all he cognized was that the ongoing chatter between you and the freckled nerd was irritating him and he wanted your attention instanter.

Looking back, Bakugou could admit that it was an impulsive suggestion and injudicious decision. In contrast to what any other sensible child or person would have done, as soon as the words ‘Let’s play heroes, Deku and (Name)!’ escaped Bakugou’s lips, the green-haired idiot accepted the request instantly, so eager to please Katsuki. On the other hand, you simply watched in silence as Bakugou beamed in pride with his hands on his hips and Deku enthusiastically pumped his arms in the air, jumping and squealing in both anticipation and delight.

Years after, Bakugou eventually understood why you sat quietly that day and made no move to even consider rejecting the idea. Exactly like Midoriya, you shadowed Bakugou’s footsteps and obliged to his every whim. Yet, unlike Deku, you didn’t quite concur with his exclamations even inside your head and heart. Cleverly, you chose to keep your mouth shut and follow in step because it caused you less trouble than if you voiced your opinion.

That didn’t exactly mean you always emulated that similar action and thought process. There were at times you spoke against Bakugou when you knew you would be reprimanded the least or experience little to no consequences.

Bakugou couldn’t deny that he didn’t enjoy those quirks of yours: your fight, your spunk— your tactical and logical thinking. They all were your qualities that Bakugou internally commended you for.

As children, whenever you three played Heroes, Bakugou forced you to take the role of the damsel in distress. Due to your bestowed position as a distressed maiden, the ash blond referred to you as “Princess” often, both during and outside the game. With every fictional mission the two boys conjured, they intended to save you from villains (which happened to be figurines of heroes with a small piece of dark cloth draped over it).

When Bakugou wanted to impress you (and spite the green-haired bastard), after he and the nerd rescued you, he would hoist you off your feet and carry you bridal style, your head tucked into the crook of his neck. Boastfully and vaingloriously, he would exclaim to the other boy with a smug grin, “This is how a real princess should be treated, Deku!”

The young boy would stare in awe, analyzing how Bakugou kept a firm grip on you and refused to let you take a step on your own, despite your occasional protests.

And the times when a small giggle would be heard near Katsuki’s chest, widened vermillion eyes would snap to your face and watch as you grinned up at him, eyes sparkling, glowing, and filled with adoration. Your ridiculously sweet and unfaltering smile never failed to make his chest puff out in pride, cheeks warm in fluster, and heart pound faster.

Katsuki craved to see that expression on your face again.

He yearned to be the one who flipped your entire world upside down and set you anew. Like a festering disease, that ardent desire plagued his heart. It urged Bakugou to be the hero in your life and pillar of strength- the one you were able to lean on for stability when your walls of welfare began to crumble and crash.

When you were merely arm’s reach away, at times in that freckled-dork’s arms, an unremitting voice rung remorselessly in his ears, imploring for him to pull you into his chest and conceal you from the world, to cradle your supple face between his callused palms and tenderly stroke your cheek in hopes his actions could describe an ounce of his perennial love for you. The vexatious voice begged Bakugou to press his lips against yours to convey all the unspoken emotions he could not fathom formulating into lucid and complete sentences.

Katsuki wanted all of the pieces of you: brain, body, and soul.

In bed, during the hours of dusk until dawn, Bakugou’s mind conjured vivid imaginations of a domestic life with you. In many of the scenarios, Katsuki would already be at home in the spacious kitchen, preparing dinner for you both before you returned after a strenuous day at work. Whatever meal he was cooking didn’t matter; you would love his cooking anyway.

He would be so absorbed with cooking that he wouldn’t hear the sound of the door lock clicking open, or the rustling of your clothes as you stripped off your coat. Your lethargic steps would fall on deaf ears as you snuck behind Katsuki, the corner of your lips curling in satisfaction and glee at the aromatic fragrance wafting throughout the house and at the sight of him cooking, no less in the apron you had gifted him for Christmas at the start of his hero career. The apron was black and had the words “THE BOMB” splayed across his chest in thick, white cursive.

Without hesitation, you would pounce onto Bakugou and smush your face into his back, wrapping your arms around his waist. He would quietly hum as you sighed and relaxed into his cozy warmth, mumbling a word of greeting.

After, small bits of chatter would be exchanged between you two until your voices died down and a comforting silence would permeate your shared home.

Eventually, when Bakugou would feel your eyelashes flutter shut as you fruitlessly essayed to stay awake and on your toes, he would lightly smack the top of your head with a wooden spoon and chide you to get your oil-stained arms off his apron and shower before he finished dinner.

The dopey grin that would spread across your adorable face would leave butterflies flittering in his stomach and blood rushing to the tips of his ears. When you noticed his bashful expression, you would raise your calves and wrap your arms around Bakugou’s neck to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth, before escaping his clutches as he processed your actions.

Irritatingly, he would wave a wooden spoon in the air menacingly at your retreating figure, screaming, “You shitty woman, if you’re going to kiss me, do it properly!”

Katsuki Bakugou was a selfish man; he knew that just as well as anybody else. All of his life, he took everything he could and prospered with whatever resources he had. Everything he did was done in his favor, to his advantage. The cost of his actions and behavior was never significant to him. Even presently, as a hero, he didn‘t bat an eye to his brash language on television or crass attitude. He never spared a second thought about what he did or was going to do.

Until now, when your life, your fate, was placed directly into the palm of his destructive, blood-shedding hands.

If he pursued the direction of which you ran and found you, what would happen to the two of you? To him? To you?

What were the rewards and the risks? Would possibly risking your life be worth it? If push came to shove and you threatened your life, could he save you?

His quirk wasn’t built for the typical rescue training; Bakugou was trained to ward off villains and allow the official rescue heroes do their work. He could handle the battle— the blood, the deafening blasts and shards of glass and slabs of concrete that would fly at him, the blazing ache in his muscles, the adrenaline from fighting and the reality of his eventual, impeding death.

Yet, he wasn’t created to dive into the murky and freezing cold water of the ocean and pull civilians from the bottom. Bakugou Katsuki, Dynamight, wasn’t the one who was meant to lift fissured buildings off of civilians to allow them to escape.

Of course, Bakugou could blow things up. Though, was it really the smartest for him to possibly detonate an already ticking time bomb?

Perhaps, he wasn’t the man for this rescue. But there was somebody else who he knew was.

Bakugou whipped out his phone, scrolling past hundreds of unobtrusive contacts, most lacking a personalized profile picture. Swipe after swipe, blurs of gray passed his vision before his eyes caught the name of a man he would never willingly speak to, not even for work.

You were an exception.

Always and forever.

Tapping the telephone icon with hasty fingers, Katsuki lifted the device up to his ear and began to trace your footsteps.

In his wildest dreams, never did he picture himself dialing one of his biggest rivals over a girl he loved for decades— over a girl they loved for decades— since as long as he could remember.

A confused voice answered on the other end. “Kacchan?”

“Deku,” Bakugou sighed, teeth gritting and fists clenched.

Hopefully, the world would reward him for not being selfish this once.

“I need your damn help.”

For the first time.

Contrary to popular belief, there were countless disparate ideas and thoughts of what death was like. For numerous individuals, it was foreseen as a riveting and transfixing experience. On the other hand, many voiced death to be an ongoing horror that terrorized them in the back of their minds. The twisted thoughts would trickle past the cracks of the mind, seeping into the limelight of their thoughts.

Certainly, there were opinions that fell between the lines and even strayed far from the common and classic perceptions of such an inevitable fate all would face.

Though, you had a rather specific conclusion about death.

Your declaration was that it was quite dull; banal even, considering everything to your vision (more so lack of it) was pitch black, akin to as if you had your eyelids shut— just permanently.

To be fair, you were dead. What did you expect? No one wanted to see the eyes of a rotting corpse, so it made sense that they would shut them.

You prayed your body was being prepared for your funeral. If they even found it, deep down below the surface of the ocean’s beguiling, glossy droplets of liquid transparency that lured innocent strangers to explore what was another’s liquid death.

Your death would also explain why you were frozen like a corpse. Your mouth remained clamp shut, your limbs stayed in place no matter how much you fruitlessly shrieked at your brain to move the lifeless limbs, and every inch of your body felt stone cold despite that if you were alive, warm blood would be flowing through your veins to keep you functioning.

However, there was one minor issue that made you question your predicament and if you were truly dead— you could still hear. What you were able to hear in the oblivion of black that surrounded you was debatable, but it vaguely reminded you of muffled chatter, similar to if cotton stuffed your ears.

Perhaps, if you focused enough you could distinguish the words, possibly even the syllables in hopes of discovering whether or not you had truly met death face-to-face.

All you had to do was listen- stay silent. Just like a dead person. You were dead. You could do just that with ease.

So, you let your conscious fade into the abyss of surrounding black, let the hold you had on the remnants of your soul slide lower and lower, the tight grip of your finger slipping so only the tips of them could reach the sole part of you that held you inside your body— your prison. You let the comfort of your humanity rest and the blaring silence of death deafen your ears.

Unexpectedly, the small, high-pitched voice of a child is what you hear first whose words die at the end of their sentence.

“If you need help, you can just ask for it.”

You want to ask who they are and what they’re talking about, and you try— you pull your dangling humanity closer and repeat the questions like a mantra until you’re screaming them, but they never exit your throat.

When your soul slips from your fingers again, the child remains quiet. Light footsteps begin to echo in the abyss of darkness, faintly reminding you of the days you used to spend in your room listening to rain splattering against your window, the atoms of hydrogen and oxygen splitting as they made contact with the clear surface.

This all seems like a sick, cruel joke from the universe.

Was this the voice messing with you?

Was the voice that haunted you still here with you, even in the after life?

But it didn’t sound the same.

That ominous voice in your head was your own voice. It had the exact same pitch, the same quirky pronunciations you had, even down to the accent. Possibly at first, it had been the voice of others and the words that were spat at you were theirs.

To begin, they were theirs; their crude thoughts, their deleterious words, their abhorrent statements and opinions.

Not yours, not at all.

Those noxious words laced with the deadliest of poisonous toxins gradually infiltrated your mind, the traces of their presence faint. As time passed, the once small stains became vast and covered the expanse of your once kind thoughts, turning each present one bitterer from the last. Once upon a time, the voice in your head was the voice of others.

Until it became yours.

In contrast, the speaker in the pit of eternal darkness had a voice of a naive young girl whose heart was just as pure and innocent as it was when the day she was born. It was filled with glee and utmost care, one that most lost to their greed for coin and success. Genuine people— those who constantly gave back and assisted others out of the goodness of their heart had long gone extinct, or were an endangered species. Those who got ahold of these rare beings either sunk their canines into their flesh for a finishing blow or kept them safe under their thumb, a primordial part of them vocalizing their need to keep someone so precious in the safety of their arms.

The girl moved closer to you.

“The attempt to escape pain is what creates more pain. At least, that’s what my parents tell me.”

That voice . . . It was once yours. The little girl who was speaking to you was you, or the shell of who you once were.

Although the memories of your childhood had lost their precision of detail overtime and existence as the years trudged by, you had always considered them the apex of the years you spent alive. The naivety of being a child and the blanket of being sheltered protected you from the corruption of the real world was a sensation you missed dearly.

“Instead of trying to avoid your troubles and problems, they say to resolve them so nobody gets hurt anymore!”

Your recollection of this particular encounter as a child was not the most prominent, as the once vivid and animated details of that day slowly evanesced from your brain with time.

The interaction had occurred nearly two decades ago in the commonly favored season of saccharine spring in Japan, when the sun’s rays gently kissed your skin and the soft gusts of wind weaved through your hair and brushed it back. You were there solely because the mothers in the city of Musutafu always met up during the spring to gossip about their husbands and children and revel in the scenery of blossoming Sakura flowers that swayed gingerly in the wind from their delicate stems that connected to the branches.

It hadn’t been the first time your mother had dragged you to an event like this with the enticing promise that you would be able to make new friends; that had been the deal-breaker for you. Hence, it had led you to the park funded by the richest of the local heroes and civilians.

The place could only be described in one word: perfect. Gossip from the mothers of the town declared it was kept in pristine condition by countless gardeners who would sweat over every blade of grass they sliced. The shrubbery was luscious, vibrant, and full of life. One would say it was just as youthful as the children that roamed every acre of the greenery.

The mothers had stationed themself near the entrance of the park, where the benches that were bolted into the ground to set down the dishes, snacks, and desserts they brought for everyone to snack on. Further in was the actual playground, which contained the children of the many attending mothers.

After kindly asking your mother for permission to go to the playground by yourself, you waltzed your way over.

That was where the interaction began.

You weren’t sure how you even noticed this peculiar person— nothing about them stood out. Not their hair, not their eyes, not their face.

Absolutely nothing differentiated from the rest.

That much you remembered.

Maybe it was a stroke of luck that brought you to them, that fate decided to pull your strings together and wrap a knot around you both for a moment.

They had been sobbing uncontrollably, their arms hugging their knees and small hiccups of desperate gulps of fresh air had reached your unsuspecting ears.

It was odd how out of all the children there, you were the only one who could hear their muffled cries of pain.

The background, your surroundings, the calls of the other children to return to their side as they watched you step towards the outcast was all a haze to you. You couldn’t recognize or process anything other than the child that sat alone in tears.

It was a complete blur from there.

“Forever doesn’t exist, that’s why you should apologize before it’s too late!”

Why am I remembering this now?

Tears fell that day.

When have they not?

Unspoken words lingered in the air, thick and heavy on your tongue.

How many days have been like that? How many days have I lived like them?

Your mind answers for itself.

In the past, you had labeled them minor inconveniences. They didn’t matter to you.

They were minor inconveniences, you tried to convince yourself like so many times before.

Were the tears you shed over so many lost ones just minor?

Would you just toss them away?

Would you belittle the memories of one of your former closest elementary friends, years of friendship washed away in the downpour due to a nasty little rumor spread about you? Erase the little drawings and cards they made for you, each one describing how you would be by each other’s side forever?

Would you forget about the best friend that got away, the one that was forced to move away at the end of your primary years? The walk around the field, the stories you both wrote together, the secrets you entrusted with one another— were you going to toss that all away?

Would you forget about the one who you worked vigorously to build a friendship with when everyone was forced to split ways in junior high? Did you really think so little of the late night conversations, the occasional but rather spontaneous (and sometimes one-sided) heart-to-hearts, the long hours spent chatting away, learning about a love that stemmed deeper than the plants whose roots dipped beneath the soil under your feet? What about when they had chosen to push you out of their lives— manipulating you to keep you attached?

Would you be willing to forget when the empire you had fought endlessly to build and protect collapsed on you after quakes so powerful the once granite walls fissured and crumbled right above your head when you were at your weakest?

Would the scars that remained from the knives that were stabbed into your back, your chest, your heart, finally heal? Would the nasty and discolored marks fade from your skin like water slipping down a drain?

Would you forget about your family? The ones who raised you, who were by your side, near your side, even when it felt like they were miles away?

Would you forget about those who loved you unconditionally— for every one of your flaws, mistakes, and imperfections? The loyal ones who stood close enough to catch you if you fell, even when you didn’t deserve it. Even when you took them for granted.

What about Izuku and Katsuki? The ones that at one point in your life or another, meant the world to you?

Could you erase the memory of Katsuki’s passionate carmine eyes, irises the colors of the ripest of strawberries in the patch, filled with unspoken emotions that only the most observant and attentive of people could detect? The number of fingers on your hands could not come close to totaling the indefinite amount of days you spent staring into his eyes, (e/c) piercing through the thin panes of glass behind his eyes that sheltered his heart and soul, learning lessons that words could not formulate, that he would never dare let leave his mouth.

Would those minuscule yet intimate moments with the blond escape you at last?

Ironically, your calmest and most content moments resided with the boy from your childhood who always claimed one day he would be the greatest hero in the world. These tranquil times didn’t stem from your days as kids in primary school or pre-teens in middle school, but rather when you both were studying at UA.

Unbeknownst to Midoriya and nearly the entirety of Class A, Bakugou would constantly sneak you into his room late at night when neither of you could sleep or only wanted to bask in the the other’s presence. He always grumbled and complained about the unruly times you chose to sneak out of your room and how dangerous it was for you to risk injuring yourself just to see him, but every time you countered his argument with a simple smile and a “I missed you” before proceeding to hug him tightly.

The first few times you told Bakugou this, audible explosions began to crackle from his palms and immediately he shoved you off of him (after wiping his sweaty hands on his pants) and barked curses at you. Eventually, he welcomed you silently with open arms.

During those quiet nights, you both would lay on his bed, limbs intertwined. At first, you and Katsuki sat at a distance, until he began to lay down on his bed and hissed at you to follow suit. Then, you made the first move to cuddle Bakugou after he called you over because of a nightmare— the rest was history from there.

Brushing fingertips was your first taste of intimacy with Bakugou, until he gained the courage to hold your hand. Afterwards came the long hugs. Then, those hugs transformed into Bakugou pulling your head to rest on his bicep. Next came intertwined legs and gentle caresses. And the cherry on top was when his walls finally came down and he allowed you to be his rock, the shoulder he cried on when his studies and hero work caught up to him and left him doubled over in hopelessness, desperate to put himself back together.

But what about Izuku?

What about the boy you spent practically every year of your life with, the man that plagued your mind in the early hours of dawn and the late hours of dusk?

Were you ready to remove him forever? Were you truly ready to give up on the one you loved fearlessly for all those years, even in the face of adversity?

For ages, Midoriya was your beacon of hope. When the world felt like it was caving in, when you shoved everyone out and suffered in solitude, he stood unwavering and unrelenting to listen to your command; he defied your expectations and exceeded them.

Though, good things cannot survive for eternities.

At one point Izuku Midoriya, the one who claimed your heart long ago, slowly began to fade right in front of your eyes. He prioritized his work— he made saving others the reason why he breathed.

When that realization dawned upon you and you understood that he would never fawn at you the same way you did with him, you drowned yourself.

It felt like death.

You didn’t want to think about this anymore.

I want the pain to finally end.

It was pointless to clutch onto the minuscule semblance of mortality you had left before you completely rested in the grave. If you accepted the hand the reaper held out to you, sleep would be eternal.

That’s what I always wanted, right? So take it. It’s not like I ever had anything to lose. Whatever I once owned will never be mine again.

Succumbing was always easy. Succumbing to desires always rewarded you, albeit only temporarily. It was simpler that way— to fall under the umbrella of constantly accepting demands.

“Let go.”

You did; you drank every night until you were blackout drunk.

“Hide.”

You did. You pushed everyone away and isolated yourself.

“Suffer.”

You did. You never sought out help when your thoughts became too grim and dreary to bare alone.

“End it.”

You did. You jumped off the cliff and into the ocean.

“Accept it.”

Slowly, you were.

Slowly, you let your thoughts disintegrate into the dark, emptying your mind of coherency. Of rationality, of humanity.

That lifeless feeling of iciness within you traveled across the expanse of your body until you wholeheartedly believed you had always been a glacier of ice and not once a living being.

Like a sinking boulder, you slipped from consciousness to never resurface.

And like a gentle kiss, a speck of warmth formed on your skin before disappearing.

“Please don’t leave me, (Name). I love you.”

“Don’t do that again, idiot.”

The voice is warm like apple cider on a winter day, mixed with a twinge of sweet, sugary cinnamon that permeates the expanse of your tongue. It feels so welcoming, so safe despite the harshness lingering in the undertones of the voice— akin to if a thick and heavy spoonful of honey coated your tongue like syrup flowing off a stack of fluffy and golden-brown pancakes. You craved to have the sugary sap reach the back of your mouth and slide down your throat before it saturated your system with the sticky sweetness.

A tepid and sweaty hand enveloped yours, coarse callouses sheltering the dry and peeling skin of your knuckles from the bitter cold breeze blown from the air conditioning.

More words fall deaf on your ears as the strings of consciousness tie themselves back together in effort to push you out of your drowning slumber. The soothing and homely voice continues to repeat broken and fractured phrases that you try to reach, pushing yourself out of the sinister hold of the tendrils.

Enraged by your defiant behavior, the obsidian tentacles wrap themselves around the tied strings and tug harshly in an attempt to tear you apart, to send you back to where the worst of your melancholy and despondent thoughts resided.

“Come back, don’t leave me here!” the voice cried. “You and I, we’re both the same. Wherever I go, you come with. We are one.”

Were you the same as that evil voice that had plagued your mind like a virus, worming its way into your bloodstream in hopes of controlling your body and fatally killing you?

Would you ever do that to someone?

You’d like to think not.

“You better not leave me behind. You need to be there when I become number one.”

There was that familiar voice again— it was so warm. It felt like hugging a toasty bag of freshly baked bread in the chilly morning, or sitting down on your couch with a steaming cup of hot cocoa on a rainy day, slowly sipping at the aromatic and creamy chocolate that made your stomach squeal in pleasure and delight.

You craved to feel like this forever.

With the threat of betrayal, the tendrils furiously tightened their bruising grip on your limbs, unwilling to part ways with you.

“I was there for you when nobody ever was! I stuck by your side when you isolated yourself and had nobody— when everyone ignored you!” the voice reminded you, enraged by your defiance.

Why couldn’t you just submit to it?

But weren’t you the one that caused it? If it wasn’t for you, would I really be here now?

The idea is a sudden one that sends you reeling, heart pumping and sweat beading at the top of your head. The once cozy heat that flooded your body boils, burning hotter than the fiery and explosive stars above. An audible sizzling sound can be heard where the tendrils meet your skin.

“You better fight back, damn nerd. Everyone’s been waiting for you out here— they dropped everything to come see you.”

Everyone? Your classmates and friends?

But weren’t they the ones who knew of your suffering and still refused to extend a helping hand to you?

“They all come and go, you know that. Why would you go back to them? Don’t go back on the promise you made. Just for Midoriya, remember?”

Promise? Midoriya?

Your mind was too muddled to comprehend the voice’s words.

“That dumb Deku is here too. He’s worried sick about you, wouldn’t stop blubbering like an idiot the minute he saw me.”

The sight of emerald eyes filled with tears flashes through the darkness of your mind, a blur of a murky white, lifeless black, and a faded green.

You should react— you should feel something. Anything.

But you don’t.

The imagery fades as fast as it arrives, leaving you to reside with the black of your mind. There’s no fluttering of butterflies or red rose petals swirling in the air out of the corner of your eyes. The thought of Midoriya doesn’t warm you further— it only leaves you colder than before.

In the pit of death, it’s just you and the last of your humanity.

“He never liked you anyway. You never mattered. You knew that, didn’t you?”

A meek part of you wants to disagree, argue that he had to have appreciated you at least in the slightest to have stuck around you for as long as he did. But the majority of you solemnly nods in agreement, aware of the countless times where you blindly reached out to Izuku Midoriya.

He simply tolerated you because you constantly suffocated him with your presence. Midoriya never had a mean bone in his body, he would never speak up if someone was a nuisance to him.

“Yes!” the voice hissed, delighted. Slowly but surely, you were falling prey to its hold; to the negativity it had spread wide throughout your mind.

It was only a matter of time before you succumbed.

“Wake up, (Name). Please.”

It isn’t worth it, is it?

“I know I haven’t been the best, but I’ll make it up to you. Promise. Just please, please don’t leave me.”

The warm voice cracks, its words quivering, and there’s a shaky intake of breath. It sounds pained.

“You caused that pain.”

You did, didn’t you?

“Just let it all go,” the voice sung. “Come with me and it’ll all go away. Everyone will be okay. You will be okay.”

You should.

You know you should.

You know you should finally let go. You’d lost everything. You’d lost your life and were trapped in this bottomless pit of black.

If you just let go, you could be free.

“Then do it. Stop listening. Ignore it all. Let me take over.”

There’s words that are being spoken to you from the voice beside you, some louder and intenser than the last, but you block them out. You ignore and let the ferocious tendrils wrap around you and pull you down.

The thin string that holds you together snaps.

And finally, finally, it all stops. The noise, the voices, the thoughts, the feelings, the aches and pains.

At last, it’s all over, you tell yourself.

But do you really believe it?

You would never know.

You don’t think you’ve seen this many people crowded into a single hospital room.

For you, no less.

All of the former Class A students from your years in high school have flooded your room, some of them even stuck in the doorway. From Grape Juice to Creati, the space is absolutely cramped.

Beside your bed are mountain-high piles of gifts and letters from your friends as well as others who could not attend in time for the visiting hours. Without a doubt, some of those presents contained articles of lavish and luxurious gifts you could only afford in the wildest of your dreams if you had the money of a top pro-hero. (Money that these heroes had, considering some had been born into wealthy families while others had become filthy rich after making bold headlines as heroes in the media.)

Not to mention, all their attention had been focused entirely on you since the moment you awoke.

Uraraka had been the first to pounce on you, spewing words that flew past her mouth with such vigor and rush that you could not keep up. Like a koala, she clung to you— arms wrapped around your neck in a vice and warm grip as she sobbed uncontrollably into your shoulder. Tsuyu had pried her off apologetically, but you merely continued to stare in a daze, the countless medications that they had pumped through your blood still in effect.

One by one, each visitor came up to your bedside and sat down beside you to speak while the others watched. Each interaction differed from the last.

Mina had buried your head into the crook of her necks as she brokenly whispered words of endearment and utmost adoration into your ear, rubbing your back softly as salty tears spilled from her eyes and onto the pillow behind you. Eventually, Mina clasped your face between her hands and grinned through tears at the sight of your face between her hands, further cementing the fact that you were alive and still with her.

After a couple more shared moments with some of the others, Todoroki had stepped up to you with an indecipherable expression painted onto his features before sitting down and opening his arms in a silent offer of a hug. You lifted yourself up and leaned into his hold and he held you delicately like glass, murmuring a gentle “I’m so sorry” and “Thank you for not leaving us.”

Once Todoroki left your side, Momo immediately took his place and buried your head into her chest. At that point, your eyes had begun to sting in response to the endless tears your friends had shed and you were sure they were just as red as Momo’s bloodshot ones.

After Yaomomo came Eijiro Kirishima, your personal golden retriever.

He had lunged at you, scooping you into his arms. Squeezing you tightly, Kirishima could not help but sob into the crook of your neck, shaking while doing so. Apologetic words were whispered brokenly, his voice cracking and changing pitch every syllable.

For someone so sturdy, so stable, you never thought the unbreakable Red Riot could crumble quite so easily.

At the hands of your own, no less.

Finally, the tears began to flow from your eyes, overpowering the dam that stubbornly refused to budge whenever it splintered. Wrapping your arms around Kirishima’s back, you clutch on for dear life, crying into his shoulder.

You almost died.

You did die.

The horror of your situation finally settles.

Your behavior and actions, it really did matter. It affected others, not only yourself. If these people were barely holding it together from seeing you now, alive and safe in a hospital, how would they have reacted if you did indeed die?

If the voice had truly beaten the odds, what would have happened to those around you?

You’re glad, you conclude, that you’ll never know and they’ll never really experience it either.

Death may conclude your story, but it doesn’t end theirs. You just close the book of their life and stop reading their story.

Glancing up from Kirishima’s quivering shoulders, you inspect the body language of everyone there. Some are hunched over, hands clasped over their mouths with tears staining their face. Others comfort each other, tenderly rubbing their backs.

However, there’s one person in particular that catches your eye.

He broods alone in the back, carmine eyes staring daggers into the ground. Dressed in his infamous black skull t-shirt and black sweatpants, his ash-blond hair stands out like a sore thumb.

You know that hunched figure like the back of your hand, even despite his immense growth over the years.

“Bakugou?”

It’s a quiet croak, a frightened whisper. But like the hawk he is, his head whips up, eyes widened in surprise.

And it is then, you see the true damage you’ve caused.

The rims of his eyes are a soft red, like the powdery light red of blush. Below his eyelashes lay streaks of fallen tears, their traces as evident as a bear’s footprints in still snow. His eyebrows are pulled together, wrinkling the space between his glassy eyes. It’s uncanny seeing Bakugou showing an emotion besides anger or neutrality, especially one akin to despair.

You’ve never seen such a hopeless expression visible on his face before.

You’re a monster.

For doing that to someone like him, you know you are.

Kirishima raises his head up and gives a small grin, glancing back at his companion. “Bakugou’s been here since you arrived at the hospital. He was the first person to contact us all about . . . this.”

You wince, pursing your lips at his not-so-subtle tiptoeing around your attempt. He means no harm, but the sting is just as intense at the reminder of your breakdown.

He moves off you and motions Katsuki to move towards your side, patting the blond on the back as he trudged over.

His steps are hesitant and slow— like a zookeeper approaching a wounded, rabid animal. Vermillion eyes inspect the tears that cling onto your eyelashes, the trembling at the corner of your lips, and the shallow intakes and exhales of breath from your throat.

The air between you is thick, but no matter how tense, you open your arms for Bakugou, staring at him teary eyed. He hovers above you, unsure of closing the distance between you both.

“Please?” Your arms tremble mid-air, and the tears on your face stream down faster. You don’t look decent— no one would look their best in such a weak, raw, and vulnerable moment, but you don’t care.

You don’t care because you know surviving is worth so much more than a presentable exterior.

Bakugou swallows thickly before moving into your embrace. His warmth contrasts the iciness in your bones and brings the blood rushing to the rest of your body. Your heart pounds rapidly and your lungs expand further and further, desperate to inhale all of Bakugou Katsuki in.

You stay like that for a few moments before he breaks the silence. “You idiot.”

Your breath hitches in your throat.

“If you need help, you better ask for it next time.”

And then, a small bit of warmth blossoms in your cheeks.

“Yeah, I know.”

MIDORIYA IS FRAGILE.

Midoriya is weak.

No matter how much time had passed and no matter how strong he became, he would always be that same helpless kid he once was. It was an innate part of him— Defenseless Deku would always be the child that existed in the corners of the Number One, Symbol of Peace Pro-Hero Deku’s mind.

Those thin, shaking arms and glassy, red-rimmed eyes all sewn onto a young boy would always be the reflection of Midoriya whenever he stared at the mirror.

Years of scars, fractured bones, and matured features would always fail at hiding the truth about the soul that lived within the body of the greatest hero in all of Japan’s history.

It’s something that lingered in his mind at the late hours of dusk and early hours of dawn— the harrowing truth about the Symbol of Peace.

How could one man be so strong, so powerful, yet be so weak, helpless, and vulnerable?

The thought bounced in his mind as he sat tiredly in the rickety chair of the hospital after receiving a panicked, cryptic worried message from Kacchan.

“‘She was tired. Bleak— dull. She wasn’t herself. She needs our help.’”

His words floated in Midoriya’s head, crashing into the sides of his mind once they resurfaced ashore, only to slip from the sandy outskirts of the beach and back into the rippling waves of the ocean.

“‘She needs you, Izuku.’”

(Name), his (Name), was in danger. You needed help- his help.

He wondered why Kacchan hadn’t just followed you himself. He had always loved you, long before Midoriya even did (or knew he did, for that matter). Midoriya had always known that.

Why didn’t he just play hero as he always would (just like when they were kids and Bakugou always wanted to be the one to only rescue you), and take all the glory for himself? It would end as it always did in those Hollywood films— the hero would save the girl and get her, and they would live happily ever after.

Isn’t that what Kacchan wanted? To live happily ever after with you?

At least, that’s what Midoriya had always concluded whenever his thoughts would trail back to the rather confusing relationship between you and his biggest rival.

Kacchan had always held a soft spot for you. Although the brashness of his actions and pointed words would’ve pierced anyone (like they soon did with him), those icicles simply melted before they could touch the surface of your skin.

And at first, that love was platonic (he believes, but Midoriya is unsure. He may have been able to read Kacchan like a book after years of knowing him, but he could never grasp his concept of romantic and platonic love. He didn’t know him like that.)

Gradually, however, it blossomed into something deeper than just a friendship. In the soil of his greatest rival’s heart, the roots of that love penetrated the layers of dirt before it overtook his heart and became something much stronger than either of them could have fathomed.

Kacchan would deny it all, though. Even to Midoriya.

Distinctly, Midoriya recalled watching Bakugou walk off to your dorm when you both were in your second year at U.A. He hadn’t thought much of it then (as it wasn’t until months afterwards did he begin to suspect Bakugou’s true feelings for you), but it became a frequent sight as the weeks passed.

In due time, Midoriya realized that Bakugou had been meeting up with you more than just those moments he saw Kacchan heading to your dorm room.

A polite voice snapped Midoriya from his spiraling thoughts.

“Mr. Midoriya, you are free to see (Last Name) (First Name).”

He gave a kind smile, bowing his head before he rose. Mindlessly, he walked down the hall until he found your room number the nurse gave.

Your room is secluded off into the end of the hall, beside nothing but a sterile white wall. It’s lonely out here— there are no people or gifts waiting outside the patient’s doors; just sterile, white walls and tiles.

You don’t belong here.

When Midoriya entered your room, the sight of your still body laying unceremoniously on the thin white bedding of the hospital greeted him. Not even a paper blanket had been thrown on you.

An IV drip is lodged into one of your arms, with wires of other sorts filling out the rest of the space on your forearms. Your hair is tangled and matted together by the salty water that once absorbed your body whole. There are fresh, pink cuts laying all over your body, no doubt sterilized by alcohol.

The scene reminded Midoriya of the many times he had landed himself in the hospital critically injured and on the verge of death.

You shouldn’t be in his place.

Never should you be in his place.

He loved you too much to stand seeing you so injured. You were a support hero— you stayed in the background to make the heroes of the public stronger. You belonged in an office where you would be safe and protected. Midoriya made sure of that when he requested you work for him.

But he let this happen.

It’s an unfortunate truth he doesn’t want to accept.

Midoriya knew about your feelings the whole time. He had seen the lovesick, dazed expressions you gave him. He saw the way you would grin happily after each passing interaction with him, how your eyes would light up whenever he stepped in the same room as you.

He knew because he would do all the same for you.

Every time he stepped into the office, his eyes would search for any semblance of you. It had always been like that.

He had always sought out for you, even as kids.

That’s why as he got older and realized the grasp you had on him, Midoriya attempted to flee his emotions. The longer he was around you, the deeper he spiraled in his endless pit of love for you. Butterflies would erupt every second he thought of you— they covered every inch of his being until he became a colorful mess of emotions.

And as he neared the number one spot, he realized the danger that came with such feelings. He would place a target on both your backs. Any villain looking for revenge against him would find you first as a means to get to him. And if they did— if they hurt you— he would have shattered

He would shatter.

That’s why he fled from your life: to protect you.

And himself.

Selfish Izuku.

But he failed to realize the affect it had on you. He never cared to look back and see how you took his sudden disappearance.

Look where that got you both, he tells himself.

You, in a hospital bed barely alive and him, guilty and torn apart at the seams.

Izuku Midoriya may be a hero, but he is a villain all the same.

Whether or not you’re aware of it, he is the villain in your story.

But he is— and that is enough to send the strongest man alive sprinting out of your hospital room and into the night, far away from you, his emotions, and the reality of your lives. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, blurring his vision as he soars in the air, pouncing from rooftop to rooftop.

The world will always remind Izuku Midoriya that while your worlds were meant to meet, they were meant to collide together and cause destruction.

He just never meant to damage yours as much as he did.

But Midoriya is weak. He is as fragile and helpless as they come, even if he is trapped in the body of the most powerful and capable being known to man.

The cruel universe continued to laugh at him, bathing gloriously in his misery.

Dumb little boy, it condescendingly cooed.

Helpless Izuku, it reminded him.

And he let it torment him, as he always had. Because while he may be the closest thing to God, even he cannot defy fate.

The world doesn’t welcome you with open arms after you’re discharged from the hospital.

When you step outside of the hospital doors, the weather isn’t warm and sunny with a gentle breeze that kisses your skin in those Hollywood movies. The ends of your clothes and hair don’t flutter majestically in the wind. Birds don’t swoop down and tweet enthusiastically at you, hopping to inch near you. There aren’t people happily chattering as they trek down the sidewalks and kids squealing as they sprint freely across the street.

Instead, it’s a sweltering kind of heat that causes sweat to form in every crevice of your body; it’s the kind that burns your skin the moment you step outside, tearing apart your dry, AC-adapted skin. Hair sticks to your face at unflattering angles and your wrinkled clothes are impossibly uncomfortable with every step you take. The polyester of your shirt rubs uncomfortably against the cuts and bruises located all around your body, making you wince. Animals and critters skitter away into the shade in hopes of cooling down. There are no pedestrians on the street or giddy kids. All you can see and hear are cars honking at each other, angry drivers, and speeding motorcycles.

Life is hideous, unfortunate, and cruel. Life is reality. Life is the truth and the truth was never meant to be kind or forgiving. It was meant to kick you off your high horse and humble yourself. It was meant to remind you no matter the strength you possessed, no matter how perfect you were perceived, you would always have to bow your head to the hand above. It was meant to teach you to never bite the hand that feeds you, or else dire consequences will come from those who are disobedient.

And you disobeyed it. You defied fate. You chose your own death, against the death the world had planned for you. You sunk your canines into the hand of life and tore its fingers off, letting the blood spurt over your face.

Now, you are paying for it by living through misery.

Before and after death.

Always and forever.

“Pathetic,” the voice whispered. “How pathetic, (Name). You can’t do anything right, can you?”

A sleek black cars rolls to the curb and a tinted window is rolled down. Ash-blond spikes stick out of the window and you are met with Bakugou’s gleaming eyes.

“You getting in, Princess?”

He sticks a thumb behind him, signaling for you to go to the back. Nodding your head, you step into the back of the vehicle and shut the door behind you, buckling your seatbelt.

You’re right, you agreed with the voice, I can’t do anything right.

Beside Bakugou in the driver’s seat is Todoroki, who sends you a charming smile when he looks back at you. Bakugou turns over as well.

“Hello, (Name).”

You softened at the sight of his body’s tension melting under your gaze. “Hi, Shoto. How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here.”

A bright laugh escapes you— it’s abrupt and loud— the kind that makes you roll around in your bed rethinking your every choice at the crack of dawn.

Yet, somehow for the first time in months, nearly years, you feel a little bit lighter.

The world seems a little brighter.

The voice boils in rage.

“Aren’t you just a charmer, Todoroki?” your hand waves teasingly as you press your head to the glass, swooning to the side. “I always knew your were my Prince Charming waiting to sweep me off my feet!”

Bakugou sucks air through his teeth, huffing loudly. Shoto’s eyes twinkle in amusement as he peers over at Katsuki, his eyes crinkling as his smile grows wider and the pearls of his teeth begin to show.

“If you have something to say Bakugou, you should communicate with us,” Todoroki stated matter-of-factly, glancing behind him before reversing out of his spot. “We’re friends, after all.”

Bakugou scowls, rolling his eyes before turning back and staring at you from the dash mirror. “You got all your stuff, (Name)?”

You nodded, watching as he turned to look off into the distance.

Bakugou had changed drastically from the teenager he once was in UA and even though you saw his development each year, never did you focus on each of his features as he matured.

Your mind wanders to the memories stored of the nights you continuously spent with Bakugou, drinking in his features. The images of the moonlight glowing on his skin like a gentle kiss from a loving mother. The slight curl of his eyelashes, always so long and full that the girls in middle school would jealously whisper over how pretty he was. The deep carmine of his eyes that resembled the reddest of apples, so shiny and perfectly polished that even the fruit trees strewn across Japan enviously would turn away, swaying their branches in the opposite direction just to look away from his breathtaking features.

Those features remained as an adult. Though, the only difference between younger Bakugou and your current one were their builds. Katsuki was taller, bulkier, and somehow even leaner to the point every angle of him appeared sharp. His jawline, the outline of his shoulders, his calf muscles, and everything inbetween. You had gotten accustomed to hearing the fangirls and fanboys of Dynamight ramble about his striking appearance, but you never noticed it properly until this moment.

He’s healthier.

Happier, too.

The once permanent scowl on his face has toned down to a stoic expression and his eyes seem purer than they ever had been before. His soul is kinder, his intentions are gentler. It’s evident with the way he interacts with the world around him, how his touch is less sudden and rough.

You’re glad to see him flourishing in life.

He deserves nothing but the best.

“You don’t,” the voice sneered.

A catchy tune permeates the air and you snap back to the present to find Shoto fiddling with the radio. Slender fingers twisted the black knob back and forth, lingering on each different station for only a moment before moving onto the next.

Shoto cleared his throat. “Are there any radio stations you both like?”

Bakugou shook his head. “I only listen to music from my phone.” He tilts his head back to look at you, cocking an eyebrow.

“Not really,” you tugged at your shirt, trying to distract yourself. “I’m kinda like Bakugou.”

Todoroki lets go of the knob and returns both hands to the steering wheel. “Well, I suggest one of you pull out your phone because we have a long way to go.”

His head bobs in Katsuki’s direction and Bakugou whips out his phone.

Quizzically, you peer at the two. Raising an eyebrow, you reiterate, “. . . A long way to go? My home isn’t that far from the general hospital. It’s not more than 10 minutes driving.”

Immediately, you look outside, reading the names of the streets that pass by. Street names you’ve never heard before pass by and you are met with unfamiliar roads and scenery. Instead of the usual shrubs you’re used to walking by, there are blossoming trees on every corner. This part of the city is far nicer than what you’re used to.

They aren’t taking you home.

“Hope you like animals, princess,” Bakugou chuckled, patting Shoto on the shoulder.

“Road-trip,” Shoto said in the most monotone voice possible.

You gulp.

Geez, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten in this car in the first place.

You grumble, pulling your legs to your chest.

Bakugou cackles loudly and Todoroki emits a small chuckle.

You crack a grin and close your eyes. The voice fumes.

Your smile brightens.

Life gradually begins to slow down as the months pass.

Time doesn’t go as fast, memories don’t escape your mind as much, and moments seem to last long enough to engrave themselves into you. No longer do you live life through your eyes as a spectator in your own body, but as an actual human being present in the moment.

In short, you’re recovering.

At least, that’s what your therapist says. Your friends too.

Not everyday is perfect. You’re not productive every morning, afternoon, or night. Sometimes, you can get out of bed with ease and settle into the little routine you’ve built for yourself. You can wake up, make your bed, change your clothes, wash your face, perform a skincare routine, make breakfast and commence with the day. You might be productive the whole days and run errands, make phone calls, book appointments, and catch up with friends and family. In other instances, your day is much more mundane. You lounge on the couch, hangout with friends, or treat yourself to some nice takeout or a nice walk to that local cafe or bakery. You end the day with a nice movie and popcorn, and even desert if you’re feeling something sweet. Then, you go to bed and the process repeats.

Other times, it feels impossible to even crack your eyes open. You can’t bring yourself to break through the state of slumber. All you can pray for are for those black tendrils to pull you back under into a dreamless world to distract you from reality. Getting out of bed is nearly impossible; it requires hours of coaxing yourself, frustrated tears, frantic thoughts, and maybe a pair of helping hands. The distance from your bed to your bathroom is infinite and the idea of even picking up your toothbrush has you collapsing on the spot. The tears bleed from your eyes and pile onto the sink and your pained sobs echo throughout the halls. The water of the shower is too much and you have to just sit there and wallow until a nagging feeling, a sliver of an authoritative voice reminds you there are bills to pay and there is a life to live. The day is filled with long hours of work and unrest and agony, but it only takes one text to guarantee a pair of warm arms will pick up the pieces of your pain when you get home.

Those days are the hardest, but you’ve survived each one. That in its own is a feat that you’re reminded of everyday you stare in the mirror. You imagine the faces of those who remain with you today whenever the thought dwells and you continue on.

Guilt sparks in your chest when you think of all of those who had suffered in the way you had but received no support and were left to suffer. Your heart cracks, but you know you must do this.

If not for you, for them. For those who were not as fortunate. You will live to tell the tale they could not.

You will remember them in life while they are remembered in death.

Your therapist says trial and error is how you succeed in life. Learning from mistakes is how you grow into someone greater than you were before.

To conclude each session, she reminds you consistency is key. Each time you tell her, “‘Frankly, that’s the hardest part about recovery.’”

It’s hard to be consistent because nothing is consistent in your life. Nothing is consistent in life. The world is ever-changing. Everyday, the Earth spins and something changes around you. A child grows a year older. A baby is born. A loved one is lost. Life dies. Life is reborn. Love blossoms and love dies. A new creation is discovered while another is destroyed. A heart is broken while another is mended.

Someone changes. And at one point in time, you were that person who changed.

Without a beat, she sends you that wistful smile of hers and that one sentence that leads you snorting out of her office.

“‘You like to surprise the world, (Name).’”

For the longest time you had thought she was going mad listening to you, but you eat your words now.

“Did you love him?”

A voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

Slender fingers wrap around the end of the teaspoon, digging the head into the cup of sugar. Another few reach for the China teacup placed in the middle of the table, gently moving it forward to meet the now full spoon of sugar. The grains of white tumble out of the rounded metal and into the warm water, sinking to the bottom until the same spoon hits the water and stirs them around, dissolving them.

The fresh cup of tea is handed to you.

“Who?” The ceramic’s temperature is a favorable kind of warm— the type that spreads from your fingertips into the rest of your body until you’ve melted in a comfortable pile of goo that brings a content feeling swelling in your chest.

The tea is even warmer, steam hitting your face as you go to sip it. The liquid slips past your lips and over your tongue, coating every crevice of your mouth. The hints of mint and Jasmine blend perfectly with each other, the sweet floral balances out the spice of the mentha.

It reminds you of him.

“Don’t be coy, (Name). You know who I’m talking about.” You want to decline her assertion— to argue that her generality is misleading and she should specify who the man she suspects you have fallen in love with is. But this lady is one you have known for your whole life, one who you believe may just know better than all the rest despite your drastic differences. She was always there to keep you in check between reality and fiction.

Finally, you look up.

Astute and inquisitive eyes the color of carmine align with yours. Mitsuki grins slyly, her eyes twinkling in amusement. “There’s those pretty eyes. Glad to see you’re still in tact, sweetheart.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m not fragile, Mitsuki. And you’re starting to sound like Katsuki.”

The woman’s eyes soften at the sound of her son’s name and crinkle at the edges in thought. “He got his language from me, y’know. I was the one who called you all those sweet things when you were young. I mean, you were just the cutest little girl!” She wears an adoring smile on her face as she gazes at you with so much motherly love that you can only fidget under her gaze, lowering your eyes in embarrassment.

You never got used to the fireball known as Mitsuki Bakugou, nor her affections. From your earliest days, you could recall the way she would just coddle you. Whenever her son seemed to be talking your ear off or you were overwhelmed, she would simply pluck you out of Bakugou’s reach and walk away from his vicinity, cradling you in her arms cooing quietly at you. No matter how much he would protest, Mitsuki would be your getaway from any situation you couldn’t seem to defuse yourself.

On the weekends, she would take you out shopping with her as if you were her own kin, doting on you like a second mother. She would buy you clothes, books, get you icecream and take you out to eat. Your parents liked to joke that she was their own free babysitter, to which she would always exclaim that you would always be the daughter she never had.

As you got older, that powerful kind of love Mitsuki possessed was one you saw less and less of. That growing rift between you and her son was greater than ever, and the chances you had of seeing her was minimal, minus the outings she would frequently invite your folks to. Even then, she would always be mingling with the crowd.

Sometimes, you wondered if she was there with you through your hardest years would your life have turned out differently. It’s a thought to entertain, but the consequences of misery and despair flare at the idea.

You push the concept down whenever it pops up.

She continues.

“Katsuki simply followed suit. He’s my boy, after all.”

“Your own personal carbon copy,” you agree, stroking the intricately painted patterns of the fine China. The thought of Mitsuki’s question lingers in your head, prodding at a hidden part of your mind you had tucked away for ages now.

The topic of Izuku Midoriya was one you stopped entertaining after the night at the cliff. You had ripped it from the forefront of your mind, shoved it deep inside a metal vault, locked it shut, and tossed the key away.

The relationship between you both was messy— it was a lack of communication, a tangled mess of emotions and one-sided care. The bubble of your affections was filled with mistreatment, betrayal, selfishness, and greed. It was take, take, take from Midoriya and give, give, give from you. It wasn’t healthy for you nor Midoriya.

After you had opened the can of worms that was the man you once loved with your therapist, it wasn’t possible for you to ever see him in the same light. You could never stare at Midoriya with that blindly lovestruck gaze through those rose-tinted lenses. All that flashed before your eyes at the mere mention of him was the horror, sympathy, and guilt that swirled in her eyes as she listened to you. The shaky hug she had given you made you quiver in your shoes and the tears that fell from her eyes made your own slip past your hold.

That was the first time you had seen her professional facade break.

The thought that even the most experienced and knowledgeable of people in the world breaking at the seams from your supposed love story sickened you to your core.

“Was it that obvious?” Truthfully, you’re curious. Did everyone around you know how you used to feel about him? Were your affections for him that palpable?

“Very,” she nods, bringing the cup to her lips once again. “None of us saw it at first when you were kids. Not Inko, myself, or your family.”

Mitsuki sets the cup down, leaning her head on her hand. “But as you all grew up, we all realized that whenever you were with Izuku, you lit up in a way none of us had ever seen before. It was puppy love in our eyes, so we didn’t think much of it at first.”

A noncommittal hum leaves your throat and you inspect Mitsuki as she speaks.

“I mean, you were obvious. It was sweet,” Mitsuki laughs, the vermillion irises of her eyes shining in glee. Suddenly, she placed a finger to her cheek in thought. “Have you spoken to him as of late, (Name)?”

“Midoriya?” you blink, surprised. She doesn’t know, (Name). Stay calm.

You shake your head before going to down the rest of your tea. Mitsuki waved her hand in the air, her face morphing into an indecipherable expression.

“The brat told me about how worried the both of them were over you when you were still in the hospital,” she begins, and she looks down, lowering her voice. “He . . . He was scared.”

You still.

“Scared?” you parrot. “Why? He’s seen worse, hasn’t he?”

The eyebrows of Mitsuki’s face furrow and she sets her teacup down, clasping her hands together. It’s as if the air around you stills and time begins to freeze, pausing the orbiting of Earth itself.

Mitsuki hesitates. “He called me in tears when he was waiting for you to wake up— he was terrified. And when your heartbeat flatlined?” Mitsuki shakes her head. “He couldn’t hold himself together anymore. That Todoroki kid and Kirishima had to take him outside to console him.”

She stares at you, smiling sadly. “The last time he was that petrified was when he was a child, (Name).” A small exhale leaves her lips. “If he lost you that day, he would have lost everything.”

“Huh?” you sweat-drop. “Katsuki has a lot going for him in life, Mitsuki. I don’t think my . . . disappearance would be the end of him.”

Mitsuki shakes her head with a solemn smile, the low curl of her lips hinting at a secret unbeknownst to you. “You just don’t know how much you mean to my boy, (Name).”

She sighs. “I wish he would just tell you already. But I suppose now isn’t this time, is it?”

Mitsuki stands from her position, moving over to pat your head affectionally before leaving the kitchen.

A small part of you claws at your throat, screeching at you to stop her fading figure. It itches at you, desperate to scratch at the surface of your curiosity.

What does Katsuki need to tell me? And why won’t he?

“Curiosity killed the cat, (Name),” the voice giggles in glee. “You don’t want to meet that same end again, do you?”

A booming voice cuts through the clouds in the sky, sending you falling back to the ground.

“You ready to go?”

Leaning against the frame of the hall in all his glory is Katsuki Bakugou, dressed nicer than you’ve ever seen him. He’s wearing a fitted black polo from a brand far too expensive for you to name off the top of your head and a pair of tailored khaki pants. Placed on his right wrist is a black Vacheron Constantin watch with intricate carvings and stones within the clock that looks far too expensive for you to even fathom purchasing or even browsing through.

Like a moth to a flame, Mitsuki steps over to her son, fussing over him like a mother bird with her chick. She huffs as she adjusts the collar of his shirt accordingly, and he groans as his mother who was nearly a foot shorter than him pranced around and fixed his appearance.

The sight was heartwarming, sending a wave of nostalgia through you.

“You expect to go out with (Name) looking like that? I raised you better than this, Katsuki! You’re the son of a fashion designer!” Mitsuki scolds, combing out his hair.

He grumbles, swatting her hand away. “You hag—! I look fine!”

The bickering between the two continues, both of them going back and forth. She swats at his shoulder, even going as far to beat him with her slipper.

Bakugou takes each hit, not moving to fight back. You know he could stop her if he wanted. After all, he was the second strongest hero of Japan and pure muscle. No woman or man stood a chance against him.

Though, when you see Bakugou wince as his mom smacks him for the nth time, you’re left thinking that maybe Mitsuki might be the exception to the rule.

The thought bubbles a giggle in your throat that leaves you chortling to the point of tears. It’s a sound that hasn’t escaped you in ages.

Your chest feels full. Your body feels warm— not the restricting kind, but the comforting one.

They both turn to the sound, their expressions softening as you doubled over in joy. You look up and find Bakugou’s eyes swirling with an emotion that sends your heart fluttering and a brighter grin growing on your face against your will.

The expression reminds you of one you always stared at Midoriya with.

Could it be . . . ?

Heat spreads across your body and your heart skips a beat.

“No one could ever love you, (Name). No one ever will. You’re unlovable,” the voice smirked. “Foolish little (Name). Lovestruck already for another man you’ll never get? How humiliating.”

You recoil back into your timid shell, causing Mitsuki to give Katsuki a look.

The look.

It shouts at him, “Go comfort (Name)! How else are you going to win her heart?”

The one Katsuki returns barks, “What do you think I was going to do?! You’re bothering me, hag!”

Mitsuki rolls her eyes before slapping his shoulder with a huff. “Well, you better go now Romeo, or else I’ll whisk her away from you first!”

He breaks eye contact first, rolling his eyes as he nears towards your hunched figure. From the lowering of your head, he suspects your eyes are trained on the table in front of you. Though, his vision is obscured by the hair that falls in front of your eyes that he so desperately desires to tuck behind your ear.

Be selfish, his mind screamed. Take what you want the most.

But for you, he swore to never bite the hand you fed him from. He would always be grateful for the attention, affection, and care you gave him. You were always so generous with him and the twerp.

Perhaps this time, he would become the hand that did not feed you, but pampered you. Loved you. Took care of you. He would prove that he was not a man greater than the world when he was on his knees beside you. You were his equal, his other half.

He would treat you better than Midoriya ever did. While the Symbol of Peace was blessed with countless chances to end as yours, to take off running with you into a never-ending fairytale, he always left you to eat dust and dirt. Even when Bakugou sacrificed the one chance he had for Midoriya, he refused to atone for his sins. Instead, he only ran further.

This time, Bakugou would not wait for the world to give him a chance. He would create his one last chance with you.

He would love you right. Properly, fully, and unconditionally.

Unlike Midoriya.

A calloused hand gently pushes a few strands behind your ear before cupping the side of your face, bringing your eyes back into focus. Rough palms lovingly caress the apple of your cheeks and instinctively you lean into their hold.

From their touch alone, you know who this is.

Kneeling beside you is Katsuki Bakugou in all his glory, vermillion eyes and all trained on your face. Delicately, you move your hand to wrap around his wrist, giving him a small grin at his delicate behavior. It reminded you of the nights you spent back at UA together.

The syrupy feeling in your chest swirls faster.

A sudden flick smacks your forehead and instinctively you grab your head, face morphing into a glare. “You done prancing with your head in the clouds? We got a reservation to meet.”

You playfully scoff, standing up. “You can’t be nice for once, can you Katsuki?”

He laughed. “Never, Princess.”

The two of you head towards the front door, hugging Mitsuki as you leave. As you both enter Bakugou’s car, she waves you off with a “stay safe name! And protect her Katsuki!”

“We will, Mitsuki!” you shouted, waving. Bakugou grumbles and affectionately, you ruffle his hair. “He says he will, too!”

Mitsuki emits a hearty laugh as she walks back inside the comforts of her own home.

“So where are we headed to eat?” you trace the end of your dress, twirling the loose fabric. “You said to dress nicer than normal, but I’m not too sure what to expect with you pro-heroes.“

Bakugou snorts. “What makes you say that, sweetheart?”

You side-eye Bakugou, cocking an eyebrow. “Take a wild guess.”

“Half-N’-Half took you to one of those rich restaurants in Tokyo?” Bakugou doesn’t even glance over. He’s right and he knows it.

As always.

You grimace, melting into your seat. “I wish I could have evaporated into thin air the moment I stepped inside.”

The occurrence had happened not even a week ago. Only hours before you were meant to hangout with Todoroki, he had sent you an ominous text to simply dress well. When he picked you up, all he would tell you was that you both were attending somewhere nice to dine for the night. And as clueless as ever, you assumed it would be a slightly more upscale restaurant than you both typically frequented.

But boy, were you wrong.

The restaurant was at least fifteen stories tall with clear panes of glass covering every inch of each wall. Chandeliers covered each foot of the high rise ceilings and the floors were glassy, gargantuan tiles that were a pale color of hessonite. The furniture in the establishment were expensive— mulberry silk, plush cushions, bocote wood and all.

The patrons appeared to be just as wealthy, if not more. Dressed in the finest of suits and dresses, adorned with flashy and gauzy jewelry, each and every one of them burned brighter than last.

Shoto too, fit right in. Elegant and classy, they all gawked at the Number Three Pro-Hero.

And you, in comparison to them, stood out like a sore thumb. Meek, humble, and intimidated. You could hear their whispers about you, that night. But you chose to suck down your raging emotions to enjoy the night and tasty dishes.

Well, for as long as you could.

“Was the food good? Shit like that is either hit or miss,” Bakugou commented as he took a right turn, peeking at the GPS set up in the car. “We’re almost there.”

You nod, watching as the once filled roads of the highway cleared into empty streets of residential neighborhoods. “The food was fantastic, but the portions wouldn’t have even fed an infant. I don’t think I’d ever go back, though.”

“Why not?”

You blink, scratching at the skin of your arm to distract yourself from Bakugou’s question. Maybe, just maybe he would ignore your silence—

He repeats his question, opting to now stare at you. You shrink further back into your seat.

There’s no point in lying now, is there?

“I kind of freaked out,” you admit, leaning against the window. The glass is cool against your skin and you let your eyes close momentarily. “I was thrown into an unknown environment and I could feel all their eyes on me. They weren’t trying to hide the fact that they were talking about me.”

You kicked off your heels, sitting your legs up on the seat. “Halfway through, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told Shoto I had a call to take and nearly sprinted outside to get some fresh air.” You open your eyes, looking at the dashboard in front of you. “It’s humiliating to think about it now, but I left for nearly an hour trying to calm myself down. I must’ve looked insane to anyone walking by.”

The imagery of you sitting on your bottom in front of a Michelin star restaurant with your head in your hands breathing erratically and on the verge of tears made you cringe at the idea. You definitely got some dirty looks, even if no one approached you.

Timidly, you peered at Bakugou. His expression was blank and his lips formed no response.

Your heart constricts itself in your chest.

I should’ve kept my mouth shut, you chastise, curling deeper into yourself. Dread filled your stomach. Why did I even open my mouth?

“Why did you?” the voice taunts. “Everything is easier when you just stay quiet.”

Tears bud at the corner of your eyes and you curl deeper into yourself, focusing on the scenery flying by outside.

Despite the two of you entering residential roads, the area looks familiar. The quiet streets eventually delve into a busy intersection filled with grocery stores and small businesses. The scene looks familiar, but you can’t quite place your finger on it.

“Stupid, little (Name),” the voice coos patronizingly. You grit your teeth. The dread that once resided in your stomach transforms into a festering anger that dribbles into your bloodstream, spreading like pure poison.

The voice beams, spinning circles around your mind eagerly. “Didn’t we go over this last time, (Name)? I’m always right. You’re always wrong. That’s just how it is. That’s life.”

That’s not true— you’re nothing but a filthy liar! you seeth, digging your nails into your skin. I believed you and look where I am—

The thought freezes you. As soon as it comes, it dies. You can hear the voice giggling in delight. Horror creeps into your chest. You tremble in return.

I thought I was getting better. That hopelessness you thought left your system months ago seeps into your bones, attempting to crack the wall of sanity you had spent months building. I thought I was supposed to be healing.

The mantra that rung repeatedly in your head that evening at your office plays again, mimicking that dull little tune. I can’t, I can’t, I—

“We’re here,” Bakugou turns off the ignition of the car. Swiveling your head, you are met with carmine irises and narrowed eyes inspecting your features.

You gulp.

Choke it down, (Name). You’re ruining it for him. Don’t cry, don’t cry. You’re okay. You’re fine. You’ll be okay. Just get out. Just leave. It’s only a few more hours and then you can kiss the bed goodnight and never wake up again.

Finally, when you turn to see where you arrived, your heart plummets.

To your side lay swaying blades of grass, swinging to the current of the evening breeze. They dance in the wind, luring the unknown to enter their arcane kingdom. In between the luscious planes of evergreen grass is a dirt road, soiled with muddy tracks from those who had come before you two.

The idea that some of those tracks could have been yours sends you reeling.

I can’t do this. This has to be some sick joke the universe is playing on me. A nightmare.

Suddenly, Bakugou is in front of your door, unlocking it for you. No words are said, except for the calloused hand he has laid out for you. You can’t see his eyes, but you’re sure he must think you’re insane.

If he didn’t before, he surely did now.

Just get the night over with, (Name). It can’t be that bad, right? You’re just overthinking it. It’s not that big of a deal.

“You’re too naive,” the voice sings. Slowly, the inky tendrils of despair emerged from the crevices of your mind, circling your brain. Latching onto any expanse of mind, they pulled and pushed. “You’re hopeless. Why do you even try? You failed once. You’re nothing. You’re worthless.”

I’m not worthless, you argue back, taking Bakugou’s hand. He’s saying something that you can’t pick up, but you don’t care enough to. Rage bubbled beneath your skin. I’ve made it this far. I survived. I can do this.

Storming off, you walk on the trail. Each step you take is filled with fury and steam, gallons upon gallons of boiling emotions that you can’t wait to scream into the night.

When you walk along the curves, twists, and turns of the trail, you don’t picture the nights you spent running up the path with Midoriya. You don’t envision locks of green rooted with black bouncing with each step, galaxies of freckles or the craters you call dimples. Those stupidly bright red shoes the color of maraschino cherries aren’t what form in your mind as you stare at the ground, watching one foot go in front of the other.

Instead, those memories are replaced with the days you spent drinking yourself into oblivion, desperate to drown your sorrows. Flashes and flickers of empty beer bottles strewn across patches of damp, crushed and curled grass play in your head. The sight of filthy and grimy white tiles and a pair of shoes dragging themselves repeat in your head like a broken tape, the beep of a scanner continuously breaks each train of coherent thought that attempts to enter your head.

“‘Would that be all?’”

Thousands of voices ask, some more feminine, some more masculine, some exactly in-between or strewn off into the left or right. Their faces are blurs and unrecognizable blends, obtuse and acute shapes. Their noses are thin, thick, long, short, stout, round, curved up or down, broken or centered perfectly. Their faces are long, round, slender, puffy, soft, rough, bony, or chubby. It’s angles and curves, proportions and disproportions. There’s marks— dots, lines, squiggles, blobs— imperfections in their eyes, but they’re just shapes in yours. Their strands of hair are slicked back, falling forward, parted down the middle, sides, sticking up, down, left and right, or to the side. Their eyes come in different shapes— circles, ovals, diamonds, almonds, pistachios. The outlines are round, big, small, sharp, soft, thin, delicate, tough.

There’s billions of them.

But you never cared enough to truly study their features, instead opting to let a hum and snatch the alcohol from the counter, disappearing in the night.

Now, you wonder if you had cared to stare them in the eyes for a moment longer, to peer past the veil of darkness before your eyes, would you have been saved? Would you have been stopped in your tracks, staring at glistening eyes filled with life, youth, and humanity, disturbed at your disgusting, reckless behavior?

“No one could have saved you,” the voice reminds. “No one can save you. No one will save you.”

Your blood boils and the sense of reconciliation shatters, leaving you sourer than before. Frustrated, you stomp faster, ignoring Bakugou.

The only thing audible is the blood pumping in your veins, the angered huffs from your mouths, and the stomping of your heels against the trail. Each step causes the ends of your shoes to stick further into the soil, making each motion more exerting than last. At the rate you storm up the path, sooner or later fate will bring you down on your knees to kiss the dirt.

With every few feet, the soil beneath your feet hardens. The layers become dryer, returning every step with enough abrupt force to keep you resurfaced. No longer do the pebbles littering the ground sink in; instead, they slide with the specks of dirt, tumbling up and down with the breeze of the wind. You ascend further and further, rise higher and higher. No longer do you fall to your surroundings.

Instead, you rise above them.

“Just like the waves,” the voice beams. “But this time, will you fall below them?”

Time seems to slow to a stop, and you are brought back to reality, frozen in your tracks.

The sea sings its song, the one it always has— the lullaby that sailors fall asleep to and creatures far below the surface awaken for. Each wave crashes against the rocks littered around the cliff wall, the impact of every hit resonating in the air. The droplets of salty water fly high into the air, dropping as fast as they bounced from the cold stone.

The once comforting noises of the deep blue haunt you, seeping into your ears and drowning your heart.

“Don’t step too close to the edge, or you’ll fall off, Princess.”

A sudden warmth blooms on your wrist and when you turn your head, your gaze meets Bakugou’s. Carmine meets (e/c), the two melting into the other.

He wears a cocky grin, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. It looks forced, dare you say, nothing like the bright and deadly grin that adorns his face on the battlefield or when he jokes with friends.

You want to ask, “Are you okay?” But your mouth is glued shut and your body is too heavy to move, so you opt to stand in silence with your wrist in his rough palms, allowing the heat of him to bleed into the coldness of you.

“You’re missing the main attraction, sweetheart,” Bakugou nods his head to the side and your gaze follows suit.

Laying a few feet away from you is a picturesque picnic, straight out of any girl’s Pinterest board. There’s a large black blanket laid out with fairy lights spread all around it, lighting up a pathway for you to enter its soft kingdom. Plates of pastries, fruits, and different foods rest around each inch, goading you to come and take a bite. There’s a wooden basket woven to create the finest pattern, a heart, centered in the middle filled with ice and two bottles of what you believe are champagne and wine.

Your stomach lurches and the tea you had earlier churns in delight to make a reappearance from your gut. You swallow thickly.

“Wow,” is all you manage, but you see the corners of Bakugou’s lips turn just a little bit higher at the words. He doesn’t seem to notice your inner turmoil.

“Did you really think he would? After he hid the fact that he knew you were suffering all this time?”

You answer with memories of going out with friends, with him distracting you from your crumbling life after you escaped the hospital. The voice scoffs at each one and with every noise of disappointment, you hole yourself further and further into your mind.

Bakugou gently tugs you forward, leading you to the picnic. Moving to the side, he guides you to sit down, to which you curl your legs into your side. Carefully walking around the fairy lights, he takes a seat, crossing his legs.

The air between the two of you is tense, awkward. None of you make the first move to speak or eat. You just sit in silence with your hands in your lap, fiddling with your fingers. Never once do you dare to peer up and see how Bakugou reacts to the feel of the room.

Selfish.

He makes the move to pick up a piece of food, and you follow suit by grabbing some mochi. At least that would keep you busy.

Bits of conversation fall between you two, but no sparks fly. It’s lifeless and dull— the fireworks that once blew up beside you two now blew up between the two of you, creating a rift greater than the Nile River.

The mochi is soft as it is sticky, refusing to tear from its body. Though, when it finally breaks, it resists your teeth as you chew it slowly, fighting to keep itself whole. The doughy inside burst into your mouth, sweetening your tastebuds.

Though, the saccharine goodness does little to cancel out the bitterness in your heart and the sourness on your tongue.

“You should see the water. Looks gorgeous when you’re up close,” Bakugou sets down a piece of strawberry cake he had bitten through, nearly halfway done. Rising from his position, he extends a hand to you, goading you to follow in his steps. You mindlessly take the bait, allowing him to drag you like a little girl with her dolls.

Each step closer is painstaking. A nasty feeling latches itself onto your mind, eating through the walls of your sanity. Long, thick, silver drills press into the cement, chomping with all its might to destroy the structure.

“Isn’t it just nostalgic?” the voice prances, jumping back and forth in ecstasy. “You and me, just like from day one.”

You wonder if the glass shards from the broken beer bottles remained spread across the plains of grass, nestled deep between each patch of blades. Had others whom trekked these hills let the glass crunch beneath their feet, shattering the sticky, translucent material? Did they ever consider the story behind the pile of broken bottles, wondering if a soul was suffering the way you were? Or did they merely scoff at the sight, commenting about how reckless others were at the sight of haphazardly tossed glasses with the image of a group of teenagers drinking and giggling into the night?

Did they treat it kindly, lifting each individual piece and storing it to toss away? Or did they kick it to the side with a huff, stepping around any other messes nearby?

Would they have believed a soul if they told the story about a woman drowning in her own agony, her own lovesick foolery? Would they have empathized with the lost soul tethered together by a vile voice, haunting her every living moment?

Would they have listened to the soul beneath their shoes and the sky above their heads sing the tale of misery?

“Would you believe them?”

No, you answer, now peering at the water that soared to the edge of the cliff. I wouldn’t have even listened.

The salty liquid crashes against the boulders, flooding every crevice until the dips overflowed, spilling back into the ocean. Algae resurfaces with every wave, creeping further upon the cliff. Different creatures slip from the holes, desperate to escape the vicious cycle of life and Mother Nature.

Some drown, some drift off into the abyss of black, and others survive. It’s as beautiful as it’s painful and horrific.

Life is cruel. Life is unfair. Life is unforgiving.

Life is a rose— deceptively gorgeous with its bright lights, warm skies, cool breezes and pretty organisms. But with every creation comes its thorns— its threats and consequences for such beauty.

Life is you. You are life.

You are living.

Your throat constricts and your fists clench.

The sky is no longer a melting pot of warmth. There are no hues of burgundy, honey, or marmalade. All that lingers in its tracks are the sinister obsidian, with streaks of berry blue and a deep indigo that looks nearly the same as the vantablack that permeates the entirety of the atmosphere surrounding you. It is freezing cold and frigid.

The twinkles of fluorescence in the air are the only symbol of warmth left, but they are just as cold as the world around you is. They never lit up in the cozy tones of color. They were overshadowed, for they thawed under that gentle glow it emitted.

Static trickles into your ears, blocking out the noise of your surroundings. The control of your own body slips from between your fingertips, tipping into the ocean below. The sight of the world around you blurs and finally, you are rendered helpless.

Bile comes up instantly.

The world seems to nearly tip over as you hurl, coughing up all the liquids and food that had once churned within your stomach. Thick, corded arms wrap around your waist, stabilizing you and soothing your pained body.

Choked coughs escape your throat as you are forced to expel all the contents of your stomach, burning your throat. A tang of bitterness is heavy on your tongue and your mouth is impossibly dry. Grabbing at your throat, you perform a poor hand motion of drinking and instantly Bakugou hands you a glass.

It’s clear— it looks close enough to water. You down it.

It’s sweet, bubbly, and nothing like water. Once again, you vomit. It rushes back through your nose and out of your mouth, leaving you shuddering in place. A surprised “Shit!” leaves Bakugou’s mouth and he tugs you to him, rubbing your back with those large calloused palms of his.

You cough, inhaling every bit of air. “You— god— you gave me champagne?”

Bakugou hissed. “I didn’t realize that we didn’t have water— I was trying to help!”

It burns, stings. Your throat is on fire, your chest is constricting on itself and your heart is pounding. The heat of Bakugou only adds to the coldness of your skin, the iciness that seeped from your insides to your skin. Your eyes demand to fall shut, the lids drooping with every breath. The world feels dead around you, your head is heavy, and you are limp.

You are dead. You are a dead man trapped in a living body.

Bakugou shifts. “Are you . . . okay? Fuck— that’s a dumb question but—”

The thumping of Bakugou’s heart brings your eyes to shut. “I thought I was. Yanno, I thought I was recovering and all that. I was making progress. That’s what everyone said.”

A warm finger slides under your eye, brushing the puffy skin gently. “But?”

“I guess I didn’t. Or I did and I fell backwards. Took one step forward and six steps back.” You push your head further into his chest in a poor attempt to allow the exhaustion of your body to seep into the heat and disappear. “Lately, it feels like I’m back to before the hospital. I don’t reach for the beer like I did before, but that misery and hopelessness still lingers within me.”

Does it ever go away? you want to ask. Do I ever heal?

Nobody can answer. Time can only tell. Life can only smile.

You glance up at Bakugou and watch as his face contorts into a confused expression, lost at your words. A sad smile graces your lips. “You know, it was here where it all happened. I don’t think you even knew— I don’t even know how you knew about this spot— but I guess that’s what I get. I mean, it’s what I get for not telling you the entire truth, I guess. The world likes to make people pay for their actions, huh?”

Bakugou remains silent.

“I hate this place. It reminds me of him.” You both are aware of who you’re referring to. “We found it together. When we were kids in UA. Maybe even before, I don’t really remember.”

Bakugou shifts the two of you so you’re both laying down, inching away from the cliff and back to the cloth. He brings his hand to your back, rubbing soft circles and figure eights. You bury your head into his chest, words muffled by his shirt.

“There’s so many memories here. Good and bad. And I kept coming back all this time to relieve them because of him. But he never cared. It’s stupid now— I can’t believe I never saw it. I was holding onto something that had died long ago and I was dying because of it. I think I’m dead now, anyway. I don’t feel alive.”

You choke on your words. “I want it to all go away, Katsuki,” you say plaintively like a child, clutching his shirt. “Please.”

The waves smash against the cliff and you curl closer to him. He’s warm, so impossibly warm, but you can’t seem to seek equilibrium and match temperatures.

The noise won’t be drowned out.

Stop, please. Stop, stop, stop.

“I can’t save you,” he begins.

Your heart falters in your chest. The dam in your eyes splinters, the wood that held the water behind your eyes begging to flood.

“‘M a hero, but some battles aren’t meant to be fought by all.”

You whimper.

“I can try to help you, (Name), but no one can save you. You have to want to get better to heal. It’s not going to be easy and you won’t be alone, but you have to be willing to hold yourself together. We can only support you, but you have to be the change you want to happen.”

He tilts your head to him, pointer finger under your chin. The soft carmine bleeds into the blurry (e/c). “I know you can do it. You’re strong and you flourish even when everyone around you tells you you can’t. You’ve outdone the best of the best in your fields.”

You sniffle. “That was once. Hatsume just made a dumb mistake.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re capable, (Name). But you need to trust and believe in yourself. It’s hard; I know. But you’ve gotta if you want to move on.”

Your lip quivers. “Did— did you know?”

His eyebrow raises.

“About Midoriya?”

His face falls into a neutral expression and you swallow thickly. He nods.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“If I did, would you have listened? I think you knew but refused to accept it.”

You sigh, wiping your eyes. “I guess that’s true.”

Silence settles before he breaks it.

“(Name).”

You look at him and watch as he hesitates, looking away from your eyes before speaking.

“I—”

The words fade into the steady sloshing of the water, drowning into the night.

“Don’t give me that look.”

Kind, cerulean eyes follow the twitch of your fingers as you twirl the ends of your hair between your fingertips, until you let it fall back to its original spot.

She lets out an amused hum, spinning her machina fountain pen between the area where her thumb and pointer finger connected. The expensive pen had a pointed tip with edges sharper than the tip of a freshly-shaven knife, curving beautifully into a fine line. The body of it was a gooey, deep decadent chocolate brown mixed with a tint of crimson and carmine that left a particular shine when placed into the light. Thin strips of white and a blush, baby pink spilled onto the body, twisting and curving until it wrapped around the top of the pen.

Wealthy people, you shiver.

“If you continue to burn holes into the pen, it might as well explode.” She tosses the pen up for good measure, showcasing a number of spins before it slips right between her middle and index finger, securely settling it in a perfect pencil hold. “My late husband bought it for me.“

Your heart twists. “Oh.”

She chuckles, lowering her gaze to the pen held in her right hand. “He always spoiled me with lavish gifts. I was so frugal and stingy when I was younger, but he wanted nothing but the greatest for me. Everything I own now is all from him.”

A thin glaze coats her eyes, the pale sapphire flooding into a deep, engulfing azul. The flecks of silver seem to brighten against the cerulean tint, the blacks of her pupils tracing the intricate lines carefully. Long sections of white hair fall around her face, covering nothing more than the corners of her eyes and the highest end of her cheekbones.

“Is that your quirk?” The question jolts her out of her mind, eyebrows furrowing at your directness. You swallow, peeking at the window to protect your mind from her piercing eyes. “You’re young— or at least you look like it. Your husband passed away. Your quirk must stop you from aging, right? Because you don’t look older than 26 at most.”

There’s shifting in front of you, but your eyes refuse to look back ahead. Embarrassment burns in your cheeks and the fear of overstepping swirls within your gut.

“You should have stayed quiet,” the voice reprimands. “You’re so dumb, (Name).”

I was so dumb, why did I say that? She probably hates me now. She’s going to kick me out and I’m going to be stuck here forever and it won’t stop and—

“You’re more observant than you let on. But you also like to avoid confrontation, don’t you?” It’s not condescending or patronizing; it’s a factual statement— the truth. There’s no tone other than neutrality and genuinity. “That’s why you’re here today. A bit earlier than I expected you to come around, but you did nevertheless.”

Your lips purse. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She picks up the clipboard, flipping through some pages. “You weren’t completely honest about your past when we first began chatting, were you?”

The silence that lingers answers her question.

“Why not?”

You sigh. She smiles.

“I just . . . didn’t want to.”

“You’re not a burden, (Name),” her hand grabs the delicate pen and begins to trace unintelligible shapes onto the paper. “I understand why you closed yourself off. I read your file, you know. Spoke to Dynamight and Deku about you.”

You still.

What?

The knife of dread, fear, and panic slices it’s way into your heart, carefully tracing the outline of your aorta, atriums, and ventricles. The pointed tips glides over each ridge, caressing the soft tissue and flirting with the idea of piercing its way inside, only to send blood spurting everywhere and leave you cold inside out, once again.

She continues. “They both care for you a lot, in their own ways of course. Deku is much more vocal about his concern, but Dynamight is the silent, brooding type. He expresses his concern through his actions and behavior.”

She spoke to them? To him? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?

Why didn’t Bakugou tell me?

“Yeah,” you breathe out, averting your eyes to the window outside. Your heart palpitates inside your chest. “That, uhm, really sounds like them.”

The sky is a bright blue today, with not a single cloud in sight. Buildings decorate the slopes of blue, with light shades of gray and dark shades of a hybrid of obsidian black and white.

“What a shame,” the voice pouts. “The view is obstructed. Wasn’t it just so lovely?”

The collar of your shirt is suddenly a tad bit too high, too tight, and suffocating. It clings to your throat, wrapping its fuzzy tendrils around the base, before slowly gliding across the expanse of your skin.

“Doesn’t it just remind you of those beautiful waters? The one near the cliffs, you know. Don’t you just want to go for a swim?” the voice purrs. “I, for one, think it sounds refreshing.”

The tentacles speed their movements, rushing their efforts to close their tendrils around your throat. The inky black swallows your throat, leaking into your lungs. Faster, they move. Tighter, they squeeze. Together, they suffocate you.

“It’s not fun when you’ve gone right back, y’know. Takes the fun out of your misery. Now, you’re all lifeless like a doll. You have no hero to save you. Just what will you do, (Name)?”

The sight in front of your eyes fades from a lovely sky and high rise buildings to a murky, endless bank of water screaming at you to fall below. Like a siren’s call, the kelp sings to you by teasingly waving its green body, luring you down below.

Sweat pools on your forehead, threatening to drip down your neck and onto your shirt. You can see it all now.

You remember it all now— vividly.

The beer. The cliff. The staff worker. The evening sky, the water, the spray of the salty sea, the stabs of the grass. The incessant nagging of the voice— the reminder of him, everything about him and how little you meant to him.

It all washes over you like a tide, overflowing with the means of drowning you to snap you back to reality.

“‘Wake up!’” it screams.

“—(Name)?”

Virdescent eyes bore into yours, pupils dilating as they continue to hold your gaze. The flecks of obsidian and rim of a deep, mysterious amethyst capture your attention.

The kelp twirls.

“(Name)?” A gentle, unnatural hand places itself upon your shoulder. The aroma of distilled rose water permeates your nostrils. “(Name), are you okay?”

The toxic green melts, burning through to reveal a set of pure, bright ruby red eyes.

The sky glimmers.

You blink.

She grins.

He doesn’t react.

You don’t know if that’s good or bad, really.

But the words continue to tumble.

“I— I loved him. That’s what hurts, Katsuki. I loved this man who returned an unobtainable love and I was too blind to see it.”

How foolish am I? How stupid do I have to be to not have seen this further?

“How stupid are you, (Name)?” the voice parrots.

It hurts. You’re tired. Everything is dark. The sky, the grass, your vision, your mind, your thoughts.

The stars in the sky are so faint, so dull. You miss their shine.

You miss the bright lens that were placed above your eyes, lighting up the sky.

Slowly, your world crumbled. Now, it was tumbling, shattering into millions of pieces.

Your chest tightens, and it feels as if you are back in the office, curled into a ball on the verge of suffocation.

You can remember the warm traces of tears spilling from your eyes, trickling down your cheeks. If you close your eyes, it feels as if you’re there, in those stuffy office clothes with the haphazardly thrown stacks of papers and splayed out tools, shattered pieces of glass, and a throbbing heart.

You’re dying. Lifeless. Hopeless.

I just want it all to end, please, please, please—

Warm hands snap you out of your thoughts. Large, calloused hands cup your face, tracing the dull tips of its fingers along the outline of your jaw, thumbs circling comfortingly under the bags of your eyes.

It’s cozy and loving, like warm cider on a chilly autumn day. Your heart pounds in your chest in excitement. Goosebumps erupt on your skin, and an older, kinder voice whispers at you to simply open your eyes.

When you feel the tickling of hair against your head, your eyes flutter open. A warm head bumps against yours, resting itself in the very center of your forehead, as if it fit there. The remedial hands of warmth continue their trek of tracing the outline of your features, encapturing your face in their hold.

Boring into your eyes are Katsuki’s, in all their cherry red glory.

“Bakugou . . . ?”

A hint of doubt flickers across his features. The corners of his eyes crease, and the middle of his brows furrow.

“You’re a cruel monster, (Name).”

“Always hated when you called me that, y’know,” is all he replies with.

He’s close.

“Too close,” the voice reiterates.

Despite the warmth radiating from Katsuki, goosebumps erupt on your skin like a volcano’s molten lava bursting through the surface to cover the earth’s surface in its flames.

Is it from the cold?

“No,” a foreign voice answers.

Red eyes flit to your lips and a shaky exhale leaves your nose.

Is it anticipation?

“Yes,” it responds again.

“Lean in,” it goads. “Give in. Don’t hold back.”

“You’ll hurt him, just like you hurt yourself,” the voice chimes. Your heart plunges into your stomach

The quiet lull of the other voice drowns out the terrors of the voice. “Be his. Just for tonight, let him have you.”

“Okay,” you breathe. The doubt and hesistance leaves you.

He press his lips against yours.

The kiss is a warm caress, one that lets warmth blossom on your own. It’s soft but so sweet, so gooey like maple syrup dripping down your throat. A tinge of cinnamon bleeds into your mouth and the smell of caramel floods your nose.

You pull away first, but Bakugou’s hand keeps your head touching his, staring into the other’s eyes.

Am I going to hurt him? Is this fair to him? Am I using him?

“You’re a horrible person, (Name),” the voice says. You want to agree.

The foreign voice speaks up. “Listen, (Name). Stay quiet and listen, please.”

“I know you still love him.”

His voice breaks and you feel your heart follow.

No, I don’t. You want to answer.

“But how much of that is true?”

You’re not sure.

“I know how much he matters to you. Izuku matters to me too.”

You want to cry.

“But I won’t give up on you. I never have and never will. Not— not unles you want me to. I won’t chase you if you don’t want me to. But if you’re willing to have me, even just for a bit to let me love you whole, I’ll stay.”

“Katsuki,” your voice breaks. The tears flow. Calloused fingers rub off the tears.

“He may have been your first love, but I intend to be your last.”

You panic. “But what if it takes too long? What if I take too long to lose feelings and you have to try again to make me fall in love with you?”

A warmth envelops you. “As long as you want me, I’ll work as hard for as long as I have in this life to be your final love.”

The heat is familiar and gentle; it doesn’t set your skin aflame, but instead adds a slight increase with every second, adjusting you.

It’s accommodating and loving.

It feels like home.

“It’s him, isn’t it? It always was.”

I was just too blind to see it.

The new voice whispers, “He could never hold it against you; he would always forgive you. All he wants and needs is you. Remember what Mitsuki said? You’re his everything.”

And he is the same to me.

——————————-——————————————

Midoriya is kind.

“Are you sure that’s all you want to order?” A large, scarred hand settles itself upon your smaller one, rubbing the area of your wrist with slow, gentle strokes.

Midoriya is kind in the way that he would help an elderly lady cross the street with her hand wrapped around his arm, guiding her safely to the other side. He is kind that when a child cried in the middle of the sidewalk all alone, he would approach them with nothing but a gentle smile on his face and kneel down to their height, offering his help.

Midoriya Izuku is a good man with a big heart and a bright smile. He is the sickly saccharine type of person— a man who despite being made of hard muscle, is truly all marshmallow and gumdrops.

He is a glorious man who chose to devote his life to saving the world— but that in itself is what made him so utterly selfish.

“He loves you, (Name).” the soft voice whispers. “Do you know that?”

His love is not enough for me to stay any longer.

“I ordered a whole bowl of pasta, Midoriya. I think that’s more than enough,” you grin, sliding your arm out of his grasp. He pouts like a kicked puppy who was just scolded by their own for eating one too many dog treats.

Maybe long ago, your heart would have squeezed at the expression. Now, no butterflies erupt in your stomach. No heat spreads to your neck and to the tips of your cheeks. All that churns in your stomach is the acidic sips of a mocktail you had and the glass of water you downed before going to meet Midoriya.

“You know, you can still call me Izuku,” Midoriya begins, retracting his hand from your side of the table. You dig your fork into the pasta, swirling it around in the plate. “I’m still your Izuku, right?”

What am I supposed to say to that?

You peer up, watching as his emerald irises swim with a fondness and intimacy you could only picture thousands of women would die to see Izuku Midoriya, Japan’s greatest hero, to gaze at them with.

But to you, it is meaningless.

“Do you pity him?” the gentle voice asks. “Do you pity yourself for how blindly you behaved as him, too?”

In front of you, you hear a group of girls squeal, “Oh my gosh, it’s Pro-Hero Deku!”

A big bite of pasta with a pointed smile is all you offer Midoriya as he turns to face the approaching group of gals murmuring in excitement, asking to take photos.

At least the pasta is good.

——————————-——————————————

“Say it,” the voice utters.

The city lights at the ripe time of midnight are a beautiful sight, filling the world with a plethora of icy and earthy tones. Giggly couples stumble down the street, hand in hand, high off of joy and young love. Teenagers skate down the sidewalks, hollering profanities and excited cheers into the night sky.

The whole world is bright and alive around you, despite the pit of black surrounding it.

“Will you let this moment slip? After all you’ve gone through?”

Midoriya’s hand once again reaches for yours, scarred fingers entangling themselves with yours. The pupils in the greens of his eyes seem to shrink as your palms make contact, and a faint blush sprouts on his cheeks.

In the moonlight, Midoriya Izuku is alive.

He is glowing brightly in the light of the city, with his unruly mess of curls draping over the tops of his eyes.

But beside him, you stand in the darkness of his shadows. In the presence of the Symbol of Peace, Izuku Midoriya, you are nothing more than the spirit that he is championed to destroy.

Once again, you are nothing more than a lost soul falling into the hands of death.

“Is that all you will ever be? Will you let all of your hard work dwindle to waste? Will you fall back into his arms only to repeat this same miserable cycle?”

Tips of blurry blonde spikes materialize in the depths of your mind. The crashing of waves against rocks bleeds into your ears and the pricks of blades of grass send tingles exploding across your skin.

“How much will it take until you truly break, (Name)?”

A pair of loving carmine eyes stare back at you, a bright twinkle in the corners of its pupils. They are a reminder of the gentle kiss and the tender love you had experienced only days before.

‘I want you, Katsuki.’

He had cried, when he heard those words.

‘Please, will you let me love you the way you loved me?’

You never thought you could reduce a man as powerful as Bakugou into a mess of joyous tears. But life has a habit of surprising people in the most unexpected ways.

I’m sorry, Midoriya, you long to say. I’m sorry you are slipping down the path you forced me to tumble down. But I’ll save you in the way you failed to save me in before. I’ll right your wrongs.

Not for you, but for me.

“I can’t do this,” you rip your hand out of his grasp, stepping back. “I can’t do this to you, Midoriya.”

He jumps, startled by your abrupt movements. He opens his mouth to speak, but you interrupt.

“I can’t live with you in my life— not anymore.”

“(Name), what? What are you saying right now?” Midoriya reaches his hand out to anchor you— or himself— but you widen the gap between you two.

“I’m talking about you— I’m talking about us,” you gasp. The waves slosh in the bottomless pit of the sea. “You can’t tell me you didn’t see it like everyone else did. You can’t lie to me and say what you did wasn’t purposeful!”

Boots smush into the wet mud, slipping off the bottom of your foot. “_____________!” Midoriya exclaims.

The beating of your heart smashes against your ribcage and blood rushes to your face. “You were given so many chances, Izuku,” you cry as the tears finally slip. The bottle fissures and the dam explodes; the beast is unleashed. “You gave up. You gave up on yourself, you gave up on me, you gave up on us. You always have— you always will. You never took a single chance because you never cared enough!”

There are tears streaming down his own face, distorting the sight of those freckles you once adored so much. You had once believed them to be kisses from the gods themselves. Now, they seemed nothing more than a painter’s deception of beauty.

Midoriya weeps. “________________!”

No longer do you crumble under the weight of Midoriya’s tears. You stand proudly under the pour of your own.

“You’re forgetting someone, aren’t you, (Name)?” the voice curls around you, peering at you gleefully. She giggles. “You should go and surprise him, (Name).”

Katsuki. Your heart shines, despite the pain of the tears.

You turn away from Midoriya, sparing nothing more than a turn if your head. “Thank you for giving me the story of a lifetime, but this is the end of us. Our chapter closes today, Izuku.”

Around you, the city blurs. “The story of us wasn’t meant to last a lifetime. It was meant to be for only a moment.“

And slowly, so does Midoriya. You laugh, “But it is one I’ll never forget.”

Stuffing your hands into your coat, you move away, preparing to cross the street. But you pause before your foot meets the pavement.

“Midoriya,” you murmur, glancing side-to-side as the cars fly by, before looking back at him.

He stares at you, petrified, as if you were a ghost of his past.

Maybe, you are.

Maybe, you have truly become another ghost in his world.

“Do you remember me?”

The Symbol of Peace stares at you like a deer in headlights, frozen and lost. For the first of many times, Izuku Midoriya is clueless.

A smile plays on your lips.

“Who knew you could bring the most powerful man to his knees?” she pinches your cheek affectionately.

Fractured excuses and phrases of rambles slip past his lips, sending circles spinning upon circles.

You know the truth.

So does he.

“Don’t think about it too hard, Izuku.”

As you step onto the street, the moonlight falls upon you, covering Midoriya in its pit of dark.

Finally, you burn brighter than the stars above.

——————————-——————————————

The clock reads 2:37 AM.

You remember this road and the corner where Bakugou caught your arm.

You remember running and running until you got to the convenience store, pouring liquor while sitting on the hill. Downing bottle after bottle, bleeding away into a pool of water.

You remember the lights flashing, the salty spray of sea against your skin.

But you don’t remember the feeling or the pain of your broken heart.

It’s all gone.

It’s over.

The memories remain, the sleepless nights, the sober-less dreams.

But the pain does not.

For the first time, it’s gone; the wound has healed. The rift in your heart has shut.

“Call him.”

Frozen fingers reach into the depths of your purse, unlatching the metal clip to reach your phone as you trek down the street. With a few swipes, you press the call button.

Two rings pass before you hear a click and a groggy, gruff voice. A warm grin plays upon your lips.

“Hi, Katsuki.”

You chatter into the night, walking with a pep in your step. Muffled groans can be heard on the other side.

The voice sighs wistfully, resting her head on your shoulder. “Young love,” she twirls her hair around her finger, lips curling into a pleased smile. “How romantic it is, to be so young and utterly in love.”

Unwrapping her limbs from yours, she slips away into the dark, melting into the shadows of the moon. The wisps of her hair fade into a glimmer that twinkles in the streams of light and her body blows away with the breeze of the night.

You check the time in your phone.

2:37 AM, the clock reads.

The edges of your eyes crinkle.

He knew.

——————————-——————————————

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