#and you see the kink 'consensual non consent' is pretty explicitly consensual

[transwolvie]

Makes me think of the hierarchy of sex discussion, because in order to uphold the hierarchy they must push the myth that letting anything over the boundary set between "normal" sex and "weird" sex would mean letting EVERYTHING over that boundary and a full societal collapse into degeneracy. That argument probably sounds pretty familiar. People who say that gay marriage will lead to sex with ducks, people who are insistent that the gays want to include pedophilia, etc.

You see an interesting turn of this too, where people are insistent that ANY censorship or limits would lead to everything that deserves to be normalized being pushed back into the realm of "weird" sex, too, which is fascinating, because I think most of us can fairly say that we can, in fact, ban things such as porn of minors (especially irl minors, looking at youuuu AO3!) without somehow going back to the days when all queer art was subjugated. A kind of knee-jerk reaction (mmm reactionary movements) to the fact that our overall society has always pushed this slippery slope myth, and thus the fact that the larger, controlling groups of society will in fact try to ban any and all queer expression as degenerate.

But here's the thing. It's a myth. We can let things over the line without descending into chaos, because the line is made the fuck up. Accepting furries does NOT mean accepting zoophilia. Accepting LGBT+ people does NOT mean accepting pedophilia. On its face that should be OBVIOUS, since these things are hardly related at all. The only thing that groups them together is that they are currently societally taboo. and the cool thing about society is that you can still keep certain taboos even as you move into a more progressive society. in fact you uh. SHOULD keep certain taboos (@ libertarians. stop being nasty.)

When people present it as some weird zero-sum game they are lyingggg to you. It is not a slippery slope, it is a clear decision we can make and a line we can set as a society that LGBT+ people are normal, that kink is normal, that something as simple as furries are NORMAL, without somehow letting the big bad boogieman of "evil" and "wrong" sex in

[the-cantina]

Masterlist | The Bad Batch | Clone Squads | Delta Squad

Ah yes, the famous pinned post

Hey hi, hello there, welcome to my corner of deranged thirsting in this site of hell <3 I am a Brazilian adult that answers to she/her pronouns, and if you must call me by something, you can use Mire!

I’m here to write about everyone’s favorite army of sweethearts, and hopefully connect with people who like them, too!

What do I write about?

❥ I write x reader fics and headcanons, mostly in the NSFW realm, and with f!reader in mind. And, as a dominant person, in most of my works the boys will be written in a range of submissive roles and/or traits (ex: Crosshair as a brat, Hardcase as a rope bunny, etc.). If this is not your thing, that’s alright! There are plenty of simply amazing writers who write them into dominant roles, but I am here to feed my people.

❥ The clones I write are physically based on Tem. Meaning, they are people of color, and will be described as so (hashtag unwhitewash all clones lives and thrives in this blog <3) ❥ Unless explicitly stated, I do my best to keep Reader’s appearance 100% neutral, but I’m only human, sometimes let it slip and lean on black-coding her. If that happens, feel free to message me and point it out, and I’ll fix the warnings at the beginning.

What I don’t write? (this is more of a guideline for requesting stuff, so read it if you plan on ever making one!)

Of the things you won’t find in my works, there aren’t that many (I’m pretty shameless and a freak, hah), but those are: ❥ Submissive reader: self-explanatory. I don’t have a single submissive bone in my body. Not only I wouldn’t even know from where to begin, I also wouldn’t be able to get into the mood and flow to write or enjoy it. - For this reason, Wolffe, Cody and Boba are the clones I do not write for. I personally can’t see them as anything but dominant partners, writing them as any other thing would be too OOC for me. ❥ Spit-kink: Yeah, a pretty innocuous line to draw in the sand, but we can’t really control our icks :v ❥ Pregnancy, mommy/daddy kink: Anything parenthood related or adjacent, really. - Except breeding kink. This one is encouraged. (It’m that dog + toy meme, you know: “Pls breed?? No pregnancy!! Only breed.”) ❥ Clonec*st: Don’t. Idc if it gets you going, do not bring this to my inbox. I will write poly!clones x reader just fine, but in my works the boys will never interact – romantically or beyond – with their siblings. (and if this is coming off as an aggressive statement, that’s because it is.) ❥ Potty play: No water, no mud. ❥ Non-Con: Not even consensual non-consent. ❥ Not exactly a do not write, but any ‘unorthodox’ kink, if written will be posted directly on my ao3, so if you request something like that (and you know what I’m talking about), that’s where I preach the devil’s gospel :v

Masterlist | The Bad Batch | Clone Squads | Delta Squad

[unquietspiritao3]

If you’re my assigned author for the LAH Fic Club Exchange S1 (or are just nosy), please read!

Hello, Dear Author!

I’m thrilled we’ve matched and excited to read what you write for me! Most of this is repeated from AO3, just so you have it all in one place, but at the bottom, I’ve added super important information if you want to write humiliation kink, daddy kink, or sexual ageplay for me. Please read it carefully.

Thank you so much for writing!

Optional Details for Each Request

Request 1: Greg/Alex, Soft Dom Greg

(Optional Tags: Domestic Kink, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Hurt/Comfort, Praise Kink)

IRL!Greg is such a sweet, gentle guy, and I want more representation of that in fic! Give me Greg being soft and caring while still dominating Alex, please. He could also be strict and stern in an overtly loving way.

This sort of dynamic can be combined with any of my general kinks (listed below), but I think it pairs really well with puppy play or daddy kink (with or without sexual ageplay).

Request 2: Alex/Everyone, Taskmaster Late Night/“Blue” Edition

(Optional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Episode Style, Desiree Burch, Ed Gamble, Fern Brady, Greg Davies, James Acaster, John Robins, Josh Widdicombe, Julian Clary, Mae Martin, Morgana Robinson, Noel Fielding, Rhod Gilbert, Sally Phillips, Sam Campbell, Sophie Duker, Victoria Coren Mitchell)

Alex keeps talking about it, let’s give him some inspiration! I’d love to see kinky tasks completed by some of our favorite contestants. I’ve listed my personal faves in the optional tags.

In accordance with my DNWs, please set this up so it is fully consensual for the participants, the studio audience, and the viewers at home! That could be through making it an actual porn film or setting it in a BDSM AU, maybe? Or maybe it’s not actually on TV at all, just a special invite-only event of some kind, ala the excellent fic ‘pink and pretty’ by 2manyboys.

Also, if Greg is included, I prefer his dynamic with Alex to be more loving, as in later series.

Request 3: Noel/Rhod and/or Noel/Julian, Friends with Benefits

(Optional Tags: Begging, Biting, Lingerie, Orgasm Control, Overstimulation)

I’d love some sub!Noel in/just after his party days, getting by with a little help from his friends. Maybe he’s trying not to use so many drugs and is looking for a natural high to replace it? Maybe it’s just a thing for fun? Maybe it’s during Rhod’s tenure as host of NMTB, or maybe it’s him and Julian being Camden princes together?

General Kinks

Orgasm control, including edging, ‘forced’ orgasms, ruined orgasms, prostate milking, overstimulation, and chastity

Humiliation (please read the follow-up section below!)

Omorashi, especially combined with diapers

Soft dominance, the kind that has a genuine ‘I love you and I’m doing this for your own good’ feel

Old-fashioned domestic-style punishments such as over-the-knee spanking, mouthsoaping, scoldings and lectures

Daddy kink, with or without sexual ageplay (please read the follow-up section below!)

Devotion to your partner, whether expressed through service submission, puppy play, deity/worship kink, just thinking about how much you love them and would do anything for them, etc.

Bratting (consensual, not ‘topping from the bottom’)

Consensual non-consent (Please look this one up if you don’t know what it is, but in a nutshell, it means the submissive says ‘no’ when they don’t actually mean it, because they have a safeword. Also, I prefer the existence of the safeword to be explicitly mentioned in the story.)

Exhibitionism, either in a humiliating way or a showing-off way

DNWs

Non-con/dub-con

Total power exchange

Degradation (please read the follow-up section below!)

Incest (including step-family members, clones raised together, etc.) or incest fantasy (please read the follow-up section below!)

Graphic violence

Bloodplay

Needle play

Breathplay

Scat

Non-sexual ageplay

Bad BDSM etiquette (ie, under-negotiated kink; doing kink in public or on TV without the fully-informed consent of all participants, audience members, and viewers; anything else along these lines)

And in non-kinky lines: children, any sort of death, infidelity, any mention of real-life partners of any characters, AI-generated works

Important Distinctions

Degradation vs. Humiliation

Humiliation is one of my main kinks. Degradation is one of my main triggers. I’ve found that while the difference between these two is clear to me, it’s difficult for people who like both (or dislike both) to distinguish them, so I’m going to do my best to describe what I, personally, enjoy and what I don’t. If you have any uncertainty in this area, please avoid anything that could verge on either.

Verbal

I enjoy words that, even in a non-BDSM setting, would seem playfully teasing (not condescending) or stern-but-caring. “Naughty” is my favorite adjective, and a genuinely kind, gentle attitude from a dominant can often up the emotional intensity of a scolding. 

I do not enjoy words that, in a non-BDSM setting, would seem cruel—like name-calling, put-downs, yelling, or verbal coldness or condescension—even if, in the story, the submissive is meant to be read as enjoying it and the dominant is meant to be read as not really meaning it.

Situational

I enjoy situations where the submissive is temporarily embarrassed—though often to an extreme degree—while still feeling genuinely cared-for by the dominant both in the moment of embarrassment and after. The care between them must be explicitly shown in the story, not left to me to layer on top.

I do not enjoy situations where the submissive is made to feel at all worthless, less-than, judged, unloved, or ashamed of who they are as a person, even if, in the story, they are meant to be read as enjoying or not minding these feelings.

Incest Fantasy vs. Daddy Kink with Sexual Ageplay

Yet another area where I have a kink for one thing and a trigger for a different thing that is just similar enough for people to get them confused! (I’m difficult, I know. Sorry!) Again, I’ll do my best to explain the important distinctions between these from my personal point of view, but if you have doubts, please steer clear of both.

Daddy kink with sexual ageplay is where the dominant is taking on a parental, caregiving role while the submissive takes on a younger headspace during sexual play. (I prefer the headspace to be more on the side of roleplay than regression, though I’m fine with partial regression as long as it is explicit that the submissive is still in possession of their adult faculties enough to be able to fully consent.)

In these sorts of scenes, the submissive calls the dominant ‘daddy’ (even though they might be embarrassed about it because of the way society views adults who use that word for their partner) and the dominant does and says parental things, but the idea of being related is not part of what gets them off sexually. It’s simply a convenient way to explain their roles in the dynamic. The focus of the scene is the caregiving and the freedom of a younger mindset—and, in my favorite ageplay scenes, the humiliation of being lovingly treated as if you’re younger than you know you are, for your own good.

Incest fantasy is where the characters fantasize about and get off on the taboo of having sex with a relative (even if they are not attracted to their actual relatives and would never want to actually have sex with them). Anything that focuses on a fantasized familial relationship in this way is likely to trigger me. It’s therefore best, for me, if you avoid using familial words/phrases except in dialogue, so it’s clear that the character is not really fantasizing about the partner as a family member, but rather just calling them a ‘title’ that corresponds to their role.

[myonepiece]

I feel like screaming 🤣 Because a friend of mine at university launched a #askaboutyourcrush challenge. This was supported by many, they told me to do it anonymously, and at the end we will try to guess who specifically asked about the different characters. I've been reading your blog for a couple of hours now and I love the way you write nsfw. So what about "Kid, Kanjuro and Jack kinks in bed?" I seem to be becoming your fan🤭

ooo how interesting 🤭💛

by jack i'm guessing you mean the beast pirates member ?

also this isn't all of their kinks because that'd be kinda long, but this is a few that i think of immediately when i think of them

kid, kanjuro, jack kinks

warnings: nsfw, it's just all nsfw, consensual non-consent, piss kink 👀

-acarophilia (scratches) he loves being scratched, obviously notyou explicitly trying to hurt him, but just when you rake your nails down his back or his arms, when you're between his legs sucking his dick and you scratch along his inner thighs

-public sex, he'll fuck anywhere, having someone stumble upon him balls deep in you is just amazing to him, the horrified look on their face 😌 he just loves seeing your own expression turn to fear when you realize you're being watched

-dirty talking, obviously

-cock worship, hearing you tell him how big it is/how much it's stretching you out, filling you up, spurs him on and he'll get a lot closer to cumming

-face fucking, like to the point of your eyes watering, he loves to see how wide you have to open your mouth to fit him inside, he loves watching you sinking your mouth down onto his cock and he loves feeling the wet warmth surround it

-food play but specifically whip cream and syrups, sometimes some fruit, but just sweet things in general; he likes spreading it across your body and licking it slowly, or reverse it and you lick strawberry syrup from stomach

-choking, i'm not saying he's a sadist (someone who gets pleasure out of inflicting pain upon others), but i'm saying he has the tiniest sadist streak in him, but it's usually only for choking you- BUT when he chokes he chokes, like he won't let up until you're almost going to pass out or you've cum

-consenual non-consent, CONSENSUAL always, it's that sadist streak i'm telling you, although sometimes there's no rules stated beforehand only a safeword, it doesn't exactly follow "rules" for this kink because usually this is supposed be planned and not spontaneous, but it's spontaneous with kanjuro

-gags, those little red ball gags, a simple cloth, your panties, kanjuro's underwear (or loincloth because that's what samurai's wear)

-man is definitely a sadist, so dacryphilia/seeing you cry, sometimes he can go too hard or rough on accident, but it can also happen on purpose because he just wants to see how far he can take it

-double penetration, usually a dildo but i mean, threesomes are okay sometimes 👀 he'll even go tripple penetration with either a foursome or another dildo

-dvp, similar to double penetration accept this is douple penetration to the vagina, once again it's either a dildo or someone else who joined in

-piss kink (a man of my own desires i see 🤡) but yeah he has a piss kink, whether it's pissing on you or literally into. you, or just having you drink it/lick it, fhjsdhj he might even have you piss on him

-lactation, pretty self explanatory but if you don't know what this means you're probably too young... you okay?

[oftenderweapons]

Steamy Waters — Yoongi

Pairing: Yoongi x reader (nicknamed Kitten), Namjoon x Vixen (mentioned)

Wordcount: 8.7k words

Genre: smut, a tinyyyyy bit of angst, pwp, established relationship, idol!au

Rating: very18+ 

Hello strawberries! With Namjoon’s Steamy Waters we saw the guys leaving for tour, with Yoongi we see them come back. Of course there will be a few things happening in between the two fics, but that will come later (see it as some special piece similar in terms of genre to Girls’ Night). Quick recap of the plot: Yoongi comes back from tour and Kitten is there to greet him. It has been a long day, and a he’s been away for a long time: the two decide to head to the shower to help Yoongi get rid of his travelling filth and help Kitten get rid of her bitter feelings. (AKA that one time Yoongi finally convinced Kitten to move in with a very unorthodox method.)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: filth. Swearing. Sarcasm. Dirty Talking. Slight angst (Yoongi’s shoulder is sore; Kitten finds condoms in his travel bag and she is afraid of cheating, even though she knows Yoongi is 3000% faithful, past relationship trauma). Shower blowjob, cum swallowing, cock worship and breast worship, lots of ass grabbing (both male and female receiving); again, Yoongi wakes her up with oral which is something he does a lot but still, it’s non explicitly consensual since she’s sleeping, he asks for consent as soon as she wakes up. Unprotected sex within an established relationship (GET TESTED BEFORE GOING BARE WITH YOUR PARTNER. PLEASE. USE CONDOMS UNLESS YOU’RE 1000% SURE YOU’RE CLEAN). Spooning sex, fingering, he uses his fingers as a gag. Multiple rounds and very multiple orgasms and squirting. Mentions of a cocksleeve. Mentions of anal sex; mild anal play (female receiving), mentions of rimming (female receiving). Use of a G-spot vibrator with remote control via smartphone, squirting, cunnilingus and face riding, crying, slight degradation, use of safeword, old school missionary jackhammering, choking kink. On a side note, reader is bisexual and everybody has a crush for Vixen

If you want background music for reading I suggest playing the whole About Time album by Sabrina Claudio or Over It (complete set) album by Summer Walker. [Thank me later 😉] 

Finally, here is my masterlist and well, Enjoy!!! ✨💜

———————————

You stood in the middle of the underground parking lot of Yoongi’s apartment, waiting for his van to arrive from the airport. Today he was back from the tour and you’d taken a few days off work to spend time with him.

You stood there, checking some emails on your phone when the doors of the lift opened on a dolled up Vixen. 

You had seen her wear black, blue and white quite consistently, head to toe impeccable at all times. That’s why you had to do a double take when you saw her in a pink, frilly, tiny sundress that looked like it could unravel if you stared at it for too long. 

“Am I late?” She asked, only to stare at you and realise that if you were there waiting, then no, they hadn’t arrived yet. “Sorry, dumb question, I’m just excited.” She smiled nervously, fixing non-existent creases on her dress.

“There’s a bit of traffic. They’ll be here in a minute, though.” You explained, putting down your phone. “Plans for a date?” You asked her, looking at her outfit.

“No, actually. I just wanted to dress pretty.” She said, elegant and sweet as usual. 

You smiled and looked at your oversized, worn-out T-shirt from a rockband you listened to when you were a teen, and the loose cotton shorts that reached your mid-thigh, paired with casual flip flops. You weren’t even wearing your nice bra. Not that Yoongi would care about that once he took your shirt off. Bras were just a nuisance to him anyway. 

“Are you on vacation?” She asked, checking her phone before locking it again. It lit up again with a notification, her lockscreen showing a picture of a boy staring at a sculpture. No doubt, Namjoon. 

“No, just took a few days off.” You replied kindly. You checked your phone yourself. “You and Joon are going on holiday?”

“Just a quick getaway.” She explained, beaming at you. She looked radiant, as if the last seven weeks had never existed. But her face looked slimmer. Her arms too. You had often met at the gym, spending time together and working out, ‘to stop thinking’ she had said. And you had bonded like that, over working out to stop your brains and dull your edges while your boyfriends were away. 

You tried not to think if Namjoon was going to propose while they were away. Yoongi had mentioned the man was considering the idea. “Then have a safe journey and a nice holiday.” You said, grinning. “Hope you can get your fill of him.” You said smirking. 

She caught the innuendo mischievously. “Trust me, I will.” She replied before winking. 

The bar to the parking lot lifted, before a black van entered the space, stopping a few slots away from you. 

Vixen was basically skipping on her toes, ready to throw herself at her boyfriend. Beside her, you felt like a flock of hummingbirds had been caged inside your chest, the fluttering feeling almost uncomfortable. When you heard the doors open, your ears stopped working, blood pressure making them perceive nothing but a dull beeping sound. 

Namjoon appeared from the door, Vixen dashing to him and throwing her whole body into his arms as he picked her up. The whole scene was very romantic and dramatic — just in their style —, almost making you sneer in a mysanthropistic fit, however the smaller figure appearing behind the lovey dovey couple made you reconsider your hatred towards humanity. 

Let’s be clear, you weren’t normally this sour, but seven weeks without Yoongi had taken their toll, and all you wanted was to incinerate every couple until he had had his sweet way with you and you weren’t underloved and underorgasmed anymore. 

“No dramatic welcome back for me?” He asked, staring at you from the distance with his hands on his hips. “No balloons and banners?” He shook his head. “You’re a disappointment.” He grinned at you. 

“You’re sucking your own dick tonight.” You teased back, Namjoon and Vixen too caught up in their idyllium to bother with your bantering. 

He shrugged. “Thank you for letting me know.” He opened his arms and you walked towards him, hugging him tight as he did just the same, your arms around his neck as he placed his hands on your waist and pulled you to him. “Hi, Kitten.”

“Hello, Yoongles.” You said, your voice emotional. 

“I’m sorry, I smell a bit.” He said, thinking about all those hours on the plane. 

“Not really.” You said, nuzzling into his neck, reacquainting with his cologne. “You’re as good as usual.”

His hands rubbed up and down your spine. “Let’s go upstairs. It’s too hot outside today and I could kill for a shower right now.”

The back of the van was already open as Namjoon took out the suitcases. 

“Hyung. Here is yours.” He said, letting it roll towards Yoongi. 

He thanked and caught it, sprawling his left hand over the top of it before catching the handle. Your eyes went wide as you stared at the tendons and veins just below the pale skin, jumping and flexing at the effort. 

You had missed those hands. Dearly. Deliriously. 

As he noticed your focused stare, he smirked, his other hand searching for your fingers, intertwining them with his. “I have my backpack too. Careful, there’s equipment inside.” Said Yoongi, pulling at your arm as he neared the back of the van and grabbed his stuff. 

“Let me get that.” You said, fussing over him. He looked tired and thin. “How’s your shoulder?”

“Not too bad.” He said. “A bit crumpled up because of the long trip and the air conditioning, but overall not bad.” He let you take the backpack though, showing you that yes, it was probably not nice. 

“I’ll have a cold pack ready upstairs.” You said, kissing his temple. The boys and Vixen said goodbye to the driver as he left, leaving the four of you trying to fit inside the lift.

It wasn’t too difficult and you were grateful that Namjoon stayed mostly silent even as his hand kept drawing patterns on the back of Vixen’s naked thigh, climbing decisively too high — and too under her dress — for public decency. Not that he noticed you or Yoongi staring and looking at each other conspiratorially, trying to find ways to tease him about it in the future. 

Anyway, Yoongi drew you close with an arm around your waist, whispering in your ear, “I’m just as needy myself.”

You turned to look at him with a knowing smirk. “I wouldn’t expect any less.” You whispered back, pressing your brow to the side of his head. 

Luckily, the doors dinged and opened, making the sweethearts quit their endeavours and hurriedly grab the suitcase and the smaller carryon. Next, you took care of Yoongi’s luggage, helping him slide it down the corridor, to the door of his apartment. Namjoon and Vixen stood in front of the door beside you while he opened the front door to their apartment and brought his stuff in. 

“I don’t think I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Namjoon commented. 

“I don’t think so, no.” Yoongi replied chuckling as you raised your eyebrows and looked away, avoiding Namjoon’s knowing smirk. 

“Then have a nice break. Guess I’ll text you.” Namjoon replied. 

“Of course.” Yoongi said. 

“Kitten,” Namjoon greeted with a small nod. 

You waved at him, at the same time as Vixen said goodbye to the both of you and Namjoon picked her up again. 

“We didn’t tell them to keep it down.” Yoongi realised after staring at the closed front door for a couple seconds. 

“We could sleep in your studio.” You reasoned with a doubtful pout. 

Yoongi’s expression unintentionally mirrored yours. 

“Shall we?” You said, gesturing to the door.

He placed his arm around your waist and dragged you in. “I’m not strong enough to carry you like that.” He said, closing the door. 

“They’re so disgustingly sweet.” You replied, shaking your head and combing his hair with your fingers. He looked so good with black hair. 

“You say that only ‘cause it’s been too long since I last fucked you.” He replied, ignoring the suitcases and placing his lips on yours, chastely, sweetly. 

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered, rubbing his lips on yours tenderly. 

“I’ve missed you too.” You replied, placing your hands on his ass and pushing him closer to you. 

“I love you.” He murmured with his deliriously sexy voice. 

“I love you.” You echoed, squeezing his behind eloquently. 

He grinned. “Did Namjoon give you ideas?” He said, referring to the lift scene. 

“I’m just appreciating the small things in life.” You quipped, making him part from you with an outraged frown.

“My ass is not that small.” He opposed. 

“You are small.” You replied, cupping his face and squishing his cheeks. 

“You have clearly forgotten how it feels to have my cock inside you.” He teased right back, gripping your ass himself and pushing you against his front, making you feel his hardening length. 

“Maybe you could give me a reminder.” You wondered. 

“I need a shower.”

“And I need to blow you, which, in my opinion, makes an excellent combination.” You said reasonably. 

He grinned and shook his head. “Fuck, if I missed you.”

“Yes ‘fuck, if I missed you’, but also fuck me, please?” You said, raising an eyebrow and opening your hands with your palms up in front of him in a helpless pose. 

“Let’s get that shower first, yeah.” He rubbed his hands up and down your sides. “You’ve waited so long that you can wait a bit longer, right.”

“I repeat, you’re this close to sucking your own dick tonight.” You warned jokingly.

“Then we can have that shower and let you blow me before you change your mind.” He teased, calming you down with heavy touches to your cheeks and hair.

He was secretly enjoying the feel of you in front of him, getting reacquainted with the materiality of you, with the joy of feeling you at his side, of feeling you, full stop. He had never known he could miss touching someone. Innocently, attentively and lovingly. 

He had missed the feel of you under his hands. Combing your hair, hiding his nose in the crook of your neck, holding your hands. 

Holding your hands. 

He felt like he could do just that as you fell asleep on the bed. 

He felt so tired. 

“Let’s go.” You said, noticing his tired gaze. 

“The bags.” He said, pointing at his luggage in the entry. 

“Later.” You replied, squeezing his hand and leading the way to the bathroom adjoined to your bedroom. 

“How was the journey?” You asked, taking off your shirt once you entered the bathroom door. 

“Tiring. Very long. We had a long delay due to the connecting flight being late.”

“You had a connecting flight?” You said, incredulous, stopping as you were taking off your shorts. 

“Well, it’s pretty difficult finding direct flights from Europe to South Korea.” He said, taking off his own shirt. 

You turned around to look at his naked torso. It was pale as usual, more sculpted, but barely, still you immediately spotted the slightest curve on his belly and relaxed. It wasn’t as bad as it looked. Next he took off his loose linen sweats, a pair of plain white boxers emerging underneath. His calves were slightly bronzed, and as he noticed you staring he explained. “I stayed out with Hoseok one afternoon. I had bermudas on.” He pouted. 

“My poor little cracker.” You cooed, getting closer to him in nothing but your underwear. As he hugged you, his hands went immediately to the clasp of your bra, unlatching it. 

Grinning, you took it off and offered it to him, who threw it hatefully behind his shoulders. “I hate that shit.” He sneered, before cupping each of your breasts and pushing them up, planting his face snug in between. 

“I missed you.” He mouthed, kissing both. 

You giggled. “Are you talking to my tits.”

“I am appreciating the great things of life.” He murmured. 

“I hope appreciating them includes covering them in hickeys and cum.” You commented, caressing his hair as he kept trying to suffocate himself between your boobs. 

“What if I appreciated your dirty mouth first?” He teased, opening the tap to the shower and feeling the water temperature with the palm of his hand before bending down to take off his boxers. 

His cock was half mast, as glorious as you remembered it, the hair around kept just long enough to stay soft. 

As he noticed you staring, he snickered. “It looks like you really want to reacquaint with it.”

“Says the man who said ‘I missed you’ to my tits.” You teased.

“Fair enough.” He conceded, getting under the water falling from the shower head. 

Taking off your panties, you followed him in. 

“You look beautiful, Kitten.” He said, “a bit too thin, though.” He commented, running his hands up and down your sides. 

“All those nights in the gym took a toll.” You replied. 

“I still can’t believe you actually went to the gym.” He said, kissing your lips as light as a butterfly. “And just because you wanted to fuck but I was away.”

You shrugged, “the alternative was starting a very sapphic tryst with Vixen, but I don’t think Namjoon would have condoned it.”

Yoongi chuckled, “No, I don’t think so.” He admitted, massaging your ass under his palms. “Nice improvement.”

“I did Vixen’s workout. That girl is a fucking power plant.” You shook your head. “Completely crazy.”

“She is after all Namjoon’s girlfriend. I’m surprised he called her Vixen and not bunny or rabbit.” He shook his head. 

“Enough with the sweethearts. Give me the D, mr Min.” You said, getting on your knees. 

He laughed and ran his hand through your hair, while you scooted back towards the wall. You precisely knew how you wanted him. 

“Kitten. What is it.” He asked, looking at the way you parted your legs and crouched, making sure that your spine and the back of your head pressed against the wall, your heels tucked under your ass.

“I want you to fuck my mouth?” You said, eyes imploring, your hands already running down the back of his thighs, trying to bring him close. 

“You sure?” He asked, licking his lips repeatedly, swallowing once and then again in an attempt to bring comfort to his dry mouth. 

“Yeah.” You replied, looking up at him bringing your hand between your legs, testing your own wetness.

Your eyes met as he stroked his length a couple times before feeding the tip of his cock into your mouth, parted wide for him. “Tell me how deep I can go.” He murmured, pushing in slowly.

You placed your hands on his hips, pushing him deeper into your mouth. You wrapped your lips around him, covering the edge of your teeth and bobbing your head tentatively. His hand moved protectively to the crown of your head, trying to keep your head from hitting the wall. 

“Easy, tiger,” He said, chuckling, before his laugh stopped, interrupted by a moan. “Kitten, that's deep.” He murmured as you pushed him past the back of your tongue and deep into your throat. You kept him there for a couple seconds, focusing on the feel of him to avoid choking, before pushing him away. 

He placed the other hand on the wall, holding up his weight. “Are you okay, love?” He asked, noticing your reddened eyes and heavy breath. 

“Yes.” You murmured. “It feels so good to have you back.” You said, elated, as you pulled him back into your mouth, asking him with delicate motions of your arms to thrust into you.

“Missed your lips. Your tongue,” he moaned, groaning as you squeezed your cheeks against his tip. “So fucking good.” He combed your hair back and moved the hand from the wall to your chin, making you look up to him. “Look at me, ____.” He ordered you. “I want to look into your eyes as I fuck your mouth.” He leaned his forearm against the wall, plunging in with a gentle curl of his hips, his mouth wide, the water falling down his spine, his black locks plastered against his forehead. “I love your mouth. Your nasty tongue.” He drew out. “Touch yourself.” He growled, teasing you with his sexy voice. 

“Yoongi.” You moaned as he slid out. “Please.” You whimpered. 

“Please what, kitty.” He said, touching your face. 

“I want you to cum.” You cried out, scratching his abdomen lightly. 

“How do you want that?” He asked, brushing a few loose strands of hair off your face. 

“I want you to fuck my mouth.” You repeated, eager, your fingers rubbing in between your legs. 

“Then let me give you what you want, love.” He purred, grabbing his shaft and placing the soft, reddish tip right on your lower lip. “Is this what you want?” 

You nodded, begging him with your longing glance. 

He grinned sinfully and let his hip arch forward. 

He entered your mouth with a slow and steady stroke, giving you time to prepare yourself, until he was all the way in. 

“I'll never forget how it feels, Kitten. I've spent hours thinking about this.” He groaned, his chest heaving. 

And then he slipped out, only to stroke in again. You moaned a bit, and then kept quiet, focusing on the feel of him, on his eyes screwed shut, on the rhythmic contractions of his belly, on the flexing of his quads and his glutes. 

He was so beautiful, lost in bliss, chasing his high, stopping only when you tapped his leg twice. 

He let the tip rest on your tongue, “love that dirty mouth.” He praised you as you slurped and twirled your tongue around him. “Can never resist it.” He went on. 

Once more you pulled him towards you, humming wantonly. 

“Close, Kitten. Need your… Yes.” He groaned as you reached for his balls. “Sq–” 

He didn't have the time to give you orders: you were already doing his favourite things, massaging his sensitive spot, squeezing him gently until he sank deep into you and went silent for a couple seconds, not even breathing before he let a raspy roar tear from his mouth and echo in the small space. 

You shut your eyes tight as he gave the smallest thrust, burrowing deep into you as he spilled inside you, the lack of oxygen getting to your head, but still you tried opening your eyes, looking at Yoongi's lips hanging open, gasping for hair. 

His chest expanded in a deep breath. “For fuck’s sake.” His eyes opened slightly. 

He was leaning over you, the light dimmed by his body shielding you, the sound of the water precipitating against the floor a bit too loud for his ears and your own. 

You touched his leg twice and his eyes shot open as he slipped out quickly. “Damn it, you okay, Kitten?” He knelt between your legs, touching your cheeks and taking in your closed eyes and your chest heaving as you finally got some brand new oxygen in your lungs. 

“A bit short of breath.” You whispered, leaning into his touch and nuzzling into the crook of his neck. 

“Oh, precious.” He moved his hands behind your back, hugging you close. “Poor thing.”

“Don’t baby me.” You mumbled, raking your nails down his back, making him shiver.

“No?” He asked, smiling softly, rubbing his cheek against your hair. “You’re a tough cookie?”

You nodded with your eyes closed and he snickered. 

“My tough cookie.” He murmured, patting your head. “I missed you so much, beautiful. I love you.”

You untucked yourself from his shoulder and looked at him in the eye. “I love you, too.” You cooed. 

“What can I do for you, ____?” He asked, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

You dipped your head forward, hiding into him. “I want you close.” He felt his heart melt. 

“You don’t want me to fuck you?” He asked, simply caressing your head as you mouthed at his throat.

“Let’s finish the shower first.” You said, parting from him and standing up. 

He placed a chaste kiss on your hip as you stood before him, his tongue delving between your legs, tasting your honey-clad folds. “I swear the taste of your cunt keeps getting better and better.”

“We can take this to bed, Yoongi, now stand up and let me wash your hair.” You murmured, running your hands into his dark locks 

“You could wash my hair while I make out with your pussy.” He suggested. 

“I need to focus, stand up you menace.” You smirked playfully. 

He obeyed, bending his head forward, planting it between your tits. 

“Yoongi!” You said, playfully outraged. 

“Oh, come on.” He murmured. Immediately he found his usual spot and took it past his lips, sucking it with his teeth, rubbing it with his tongue while you found the bottle of his shampoo and poured some in your palm, rubbing your hands together and spreading the foam over his hair. 

“Don’t be a whiny pup.” You scolded him, spreading the soap over his scalp, carefully avoiding it going into his eyes. 

As he felt your fingers massaging his head, making sure that all the shampoo was rinsed off his hair, his lips accidentally parted in a wide yawn. 

“Let’s go to bed.” You murmured, maybe for the first time since you saw him downstairs, the dark circles underneath his eyes. 

You closed the tap quickly, stretching to reach a towel and drying him up, pressing the towel to his pained shoulder, dabbing the cotton softly before peppering a cascade of kisses on the skin. “We’re gonna put some lotion on this baddie.” You said, smiling gently at him. “Does it hurt?” Your lips still caressing his skin there while you kept drying him up, knowing how dangerous it was for him to stay wet under the air conditioning. He was delicate and something inside you, something affectionate and apprehensive, made you want to pamper him. 

“A bit.” He said, pouting, feeling like he could drop his facade now, abandoning himself to your gentle care.

He yawned again. “You had your orgasm and now you’re sleepy, kitty cat?” You teased, cooing at him cutely.

“I’m a bit jet-lagged,” he admitted, stealing a towel and opening it up, cupping your breasts from over the cotton, and then moving his attention elsewhere, brushing your belly, your arms, kneeling down and placing a small kiss on your lower belly, before rubbing the fabric over your legs, first one, then the other, helping your foot up and drying first your left, then your right one. 

“Where’s the lotion?” You asked, kissing his brow as he stood up. 

“In the carryon. It’s with the toiletries.” 

You quickly wrapped your towel around your body, exiting the room and looking for his large suitcase. You opened it, his laundry neatly folded inside, his beauty bag perfectly fitting in. As you rummaged into his beauty bag, you frowned, spotting a familiar bottle of lube and a small silicone pocket. A few condoms loose among his toiletries. 

Something in you hesitated. Even though you knew Yoongi would never, ever look at someone else, old ghosts of your ex immediately started tormenting you. 

You tried to ignore the unsettling feeling, blinking a few times before grabbing his shoulder lotion and heading for the kitchen, immediately finding a cold pack inside the freezer, and bringing it to the bedroom. You looked inside a drawer, finding a little kerchief or a bandana — whatever it was — and bringing it to the bedside table. 

Yoongi was laying in the middle of the bed, looking at you as you obstinately avoided his gaze. 

“Lay on your side.” You asked gently but coldly before he obeyed, still a bit confused at your change in mood. Was it because he hadn’t fucked you? Maybe you were okay with it, but now you weren’t anymore? Were you disappointed?

You poured some cold lotion on the round muscle, following the instruction he had taught you before he left, when he came home tired and sore from practice. And then again, his therapist had taught you some small tricks after the concert in Seoul, when you had accompanied him to the doctor the following day for his ordinary session. 

He hissed as the cold gel met his skin, while your thumbs dug into the skin gently but surely, massaging the stressed muscle. “It’ll warm up.” You said simply, spreading the lotion and massaging it where flesh and bone met. 

You opened the cold pack, cracking it in the middle and placing it behind his shoulder, where his shoulderblade and collarbone met. locking it into place by tying the bandana around it, running it around his armpit. “There you go. I’ll go rinse my hands.”

You hadn’t kissed him. Or looked at him. 

“Kitten.” He called, but you were already walking into the joined bathroom, willingly ignoring his call.

You opened the tap, rubbing the heavy stench of the gel off your hands, and then placing your clean, wet, cold palms against your cheeks, trying to calm down. 

You grabbed one of his t-shirts before you lowered the blinds, walking towards the bed and laying down on your side of the bed, curled up in a ball and sliding under the covers after turning on the air purifier. His eyes opened as you laid down, 

“Why are you wearing a shirt?” He asked. 

“I’m cold.” You replied briefly. 

“Kitten.” He called again. 

You turned away from him, taking a few deep breaths, pondering whether you should talk or not. 

“Kitten.”

“I found the condoms. In your bag.” You voice shook. “I know you would never do what he did but still.”

“Goodness.” He murmured, his breath freezing in his lungs. “Fuck. Kitten. Don’t.” He said calmly, with a reassuring tone, coming closer to you, hugging you to his chest, his tender arm coming around your body, while his good one moved under your head, pillowing it. “They’re there from when you came to our concert in Busan. Remember?” He said, kissing the crown of your head. “Remember Busan?”

You nodded. Of course you remembered. “I do.” You had changed birth control and you had used the condoms for safety. And accidentally — since you were already equipped — you had tried anal for the first time, quite to your surprise.  

“And I kept them there. Hoping that maybe you could find a way to come to one of the concerts. That maybe we could have a couple nights somewhere.” He explained, intertwining your fingers. “No one else. I swear to God, no one else, Kitten. No one else, ____.” 

You relaxed in his hold, kissing his arm under your head. “I’m so sorry. I know you would never. I trust you, but… You know how it feels.”

“I do, love. I know you trust me, baby.” He kissed your shoulder. “I’m so proud of you, being so strong, my love.” 

“Can you just hold me?” You asked, slowly slipping into complete relaxation. Even though you knew feeling him inside you would be the best form of reassurance, you abandoned the idea. Because, as much as you’d love him to ruin you, what you had missed the most while he was away was his hands combing your hair before falling asleep, his chest expanding and deflating against your back as he slept behind you, his hand gently placed on your chest, while you simply laid there, basking in the peacefulness of being together. You missed combing his hair, feeling the weight of his head resting in your arms, kissing his temple as he laid his head on your shoulder, you watching a movie while he pretended not to nap.

“There you go, Kitten.” He murmured against your nape, sprinkling little pecks all over your upper back. “I missed you.” He whispered, again, losing count of how many times he had said it. His body relaxed behind yours, his mind already thinking how he could possibly offer you true reassurance later — and repay you for the blowjob. In kind. With interests. Once he was sure you were sleeping, he stood up, looking into the drawer of your bedside table and smirking once he found the small case together with the charger. 

He considered he’d better recharge it and avoid unfortunate mishaps, he unplugged your bedside lamp and connected the charger, plugging it into the toy. Satisfied with the potential developments, he curled up around you; his eyelids fluttered closed, his yawns becoming stronger and more frequent, sleep conquering his body as your own muscles loosened with Morphean abandon. 

————————————

When Yoongi woke, it was already sundown, a gentle orange light coming in from the window. Around seven pm. 

First, he noticed that his shoulder felt better. Next, he noticed that you were wearing a shirt. 

Disappointing. 

And next, he realised that he was home. At your side. In your bed. 

Finally, he realised that he hadn’t yet seen you cum. He had been home for around six hours and he had spent the majority of those sleeping. When he could have made you cum on his tongue several times. 

He started considering his options. 

With quiet and discretion, he parted from your sleeping form, heading for the small drawer where he kept bedsheets, towels, underwear and sleeping clothes. There, under a blanket, he found exactly what he was looking for. 

“Yes.” He huffed out, placing his treasure on the drawer and fixing the rest, moving back to the bed together with the soft object. He removed the cold pack from his shoulder and spread the small two-layers blanket on the free side of the bed, planning to lay it out fully once he managed to wake you up. 

Now he only had to rouse you. 

He arched his eyebrows, thinking of how he could do that without getting his cock bitten off. 

You were a very smart and adult woman, but still you took your naps very seriously, acting like a whiny child whenever someone interrupted them. 

He crawled on top of the bed, curling up in a ball below you, pressing his knees to his shoulders as he gave a tentative lick on your naked labia, his tongue insinuating between your folds until he found your sweet nectar. 

Your hips moved against his face, just barely, an involuntary movement of your body. You were still asleep. 

He gave a full lick, as far as your position allowed. 

You fussed in your sleep, maybe mumbling his name, or maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He lifted your leg just enough to have access to your clit, the tip of his tongue toying with it, tapping it a couple times before he flexed his appendage and rubbed it against your sensitive spot, first in tiny licks, then in circular motions. 

“Yoongi,” this time you called for real. 

Finally happy with the result, he put down your leg and laid down behind you, placing his palm on your belly and sliding it under the shirt, feeling your naked skin. 

“Kitten?” He called, making sure that you were actually awake. 

“Yes.” You replied, your voice groggy.

“I want inside.” He murmured at your ear. 

“Yes.” You confirmed, mind still a bit hazy with sleep. 

“Yes what?” He asked with an arrogant chuckle. 

“Inside. Please.” You whimpered, your hand stretching behind you and grabbing his sex. 

“Let it be, Kitten. I’ll take care of it.” He slapped your hand away before he wrapped his fingers around his shaft, rubbing his tip against you. “You want it like this?” He said, nibbling your shoulder. “Want me from behind?”

You nodded, lifting your upper leg and hooking it back over his hip, offering him access. “You’re so good at spoons.”

He snickered. “Told you it was good.” He slid the tip in slowly, stretching your hole as the thick, red, spongy head breeched your inner cave. “Remember when we played twenty question here, in my house?” He said, voice raspy as he slid in all the way, stilling only once he bottomed out. 

“I do.” You replied with difficulty, through gritted teeth. “I rubbed you through your pants unti you came.”

“You were fingering yourself while jerking me off.” He murmured. “You were there, so open about your pleasure, so unashamed.” He kissed you below your ear, slowly sliding out. 

You whimpered as he parted from you, lifting your shirt and pushing his hand to your chest, his fingers immediately tweaking your nipple. You turned your head, trying to meet his lips, almost getting a crick in your neck at the effort. He slid in with a deep stroke, bending over you and joining your mouths. 

“In that moment I realised I had to have you.” He groaned against your mouth.

“We hadn’t even kissed and you were thrusting yourself into my hand.” You mewled as he rubbed against the tender tissue inside you. “God, you always hit my sweet spot like this.” You cried out, giving him a few squeezes. 

“So tight.” He cried out, purring against your ear. “And I hadn’t kissed you because I was afraid.” He said, almost as if he weren’t trying to possess every inch of you, as if it wasn’t the most difficult thing he had ever done, to stay perfectly still inside you as you milked him. 

“Afraid.” You said, provokingly. “Ten dates in two months and you were afraid.”

“I knew that the moment I got my tongue in your mouth, I would never slow down.” He murmured, pulling out just barely before ramming into you. “I wanted to hear you moan for me from the first time I heard your voice. So soft. So sexy.” He groaned against your ear. 

His hand moved to the other breast, your gaze focusing downwards, on his skeletal fingers, on the way they spread and constricted around your flesh. “Yoongi, I wanna cum.” You moaned, grinding your hips in circles while he gave tiny thrust that rubbed the head of his cock against your g-spot. “So good.” Your hand reached behind, grabbing his ass cheek and sinking your nails into the flesh, imprinting five red crescents into the skin, scratching it, marking it. 

His other arm slid beneath you, fumbling a little as he substituted the one on your breasts, while the other one, a bit freer, moved up, to slip his fingers into your mouth. “Suck them, Kitten. Moan around them.” He said, pressing his index and middle finger on your tongue. “Make them wet before I rub them on your clit.” He murmured, giving small circles with his hips, feeling you clench around him. 

“Close.” You moaned while he moved his fingers away from your tongue, right on your sensitive bud. 

“Come on. Cum for me.” He groaned, rubbing his palm delicately over your nipple, teasing it barely, only the tip meeting the rough skin of his calluses. “Cum on my cock. Claim it. Come on.” He said, his voice strained, his hips pushing with quick small strokes, focusing on caressing and pressing against your sweet spot. 

“Yoo—” You tried to speak his name but your mouth stayed open, a loud scream ripping from your throat, as it all became too much. “Yoongs, wait, fuck, too good!” You screamed as his fingers kept teasing you insistently, overstimulating you. “Yoongs, fuck, another!” You felt his thrusts become faster, harder as your second high approached. 

“No no no no, please, stop!” You screeched, trying to tug his wrist away, while he kept it against your mound, tucked in tight. 

“You know the word, ____.” He growled as he gave a few final strokes inside you, your whole body shaking with effort, your second high so incredibly strong that it took your voice away, your ears filled with a shrill beeping sound. “So good.” He hummed pushing your back into his chest as he stayed deep inside you, coating your cunt with his seed as he gave a couple tentative thrusts. “So fucking good, Kitten.”

“Yoongi,” you murmured with your voice hoarse. 

“The whole neighbourhood will know about you getting that good dick,” He teased, slipping out of you and holding you tight, rolling you on top of him, and then on the other side of the bed, where he had laid the special blanket just for you. 

“There’s the blankie.” You said, surprised. 

“Yup. I laid the blankie for you.” He said, as he noticed you sitting up and tearing your t-shirt off your torso, throwing it away before you rolled your body on your front. 

You smiled and nuzzled into the soft microfiber, anticipating the special treatment you were about to get. 

“Are you ready, Kitten?” He asked, rubbing your ass, then letting his finger walk up your spine, carding through your hair and grabbing it, massaging your scalp with his hooked fingers. 

“Yes, please.” You said, half still dizzy with your previous orgasms, and half dizzy with the anticipation for the ones that were about to come. 

“Would you like to stay on your front?” He asked, stretching to the bedside table and unplugging the device, placing it away from your curious eyes. 

“Yes? And then turn around?” You asked, turning your head to look at him, eyes sparkling with excitement. “Maybe you could play with my boobs, choke me a little, then fuck me again?” You said, arching your back and pushing your ass up, trying to lure him in, and at the same time rubbing your sensitive nipples against the soft fabric. 

“Greedy little beast.” He said, patting your head affectionately. 

You pushed your face against it, like an obedient little cat. 

“Stay put, Kitten. I’ll come back in a second.” He said, dashing for the entry room lightning fast, rummaging in his backpack for his phone, finding it and murmuring a “aha!” before he headed back to the bedroom the small toy still placed in his palm, his fingers wrapped tight around it. 

As he entered the bedroom he slowed down, looking at you kneeling with your ass up, your front pressed against the mattress, your arm trapped underneath you as your fingers played peekaboo between your legs, tickling your folds like the long, spindly legs of a spider. 

“You got started without me?” He asked, looking at you with his phone in his hand, his other palm unfolding as he let the vaginal vibrator dangle from his fingers pinching the small cord that simplified extraction. 

“Fuck it, I love you.” You chuckled, pushing your fingers inside, feeling how deeply he had stretched you. 

“You only love me for the sex.” He said, grinning, making the vibrator swing back and forth like a pendulum. 

“That’s not true.” You said, whimpering as you hit a really good spot. You giggled. “I also love you because you’re fucking filthy.” You teased. 

He grinned his signature gummy smile and brought the toy to his face, his lips parting wide and wrapping around it, sucking it in his mouth. 

Your eyes went wide at the gesture, the cord dangling like the tail of a mouse caught in the cat’s clutches. 

He crawled behind you, placing down his phone as he caressed the back of you thighs, grabbing your ass and massaging it with his firm, strong hands. 

“Put it in?” You asked, wiggling your butt in his grasp. 

His right hand parted from your skin, pinching the cord and tugging at it, the toy popping out with a loud noise. “My filthy babe wants her cunt filled?” He asked, licking at his cum as it has oozed out of your slit, coating your inner thighs. 

“Please, Yoongi.” You purred, using your fingers to part your labia. 

He snickered and placed the toy on your entrance, letting it slide in one millimeter at the time. 

You felt every single second of it, the slightly oval shape calling for a barely-there stretch at the tip, but hitting an almost-burning sensation once you reached the widest part, Yoongi devilishly stopping it there, his other hand disappearing from your leg. 

That’s when the vibration started. Slow, steady, almost imperceptible. 

“Yoongs...” You whined, stretching the vowels in a whining tone. 

“Oh, quiet.” He shushed you, putting down the phone to caress your spine, “Be a good girl.” He murmured, scratching your butt before slapping it playfully. “You should keep up with the work out. Look at this ass.” He said, before letting his teeth sink in it. 

You screamed, the toy finally sliding all the way in. 

The vibrations started propagating inside you, together with his teeth tightening on your flesh. He would leave a mark for sure. It was only a matter of how harsh it would be, how long it would last. 

He parted from your butt, pondering for a second whether he thought it a good idea to run his tongue down the junction of the two ass cheeks, teasing the hole in between. 

Not yet. He felt like he should discuss it with you first. 

To silence his doubts he parted from you, admiring the view, letting it eventually suggest him how to proceed. 

He wished he could preserve the moment in his mind forever, even if he couldn’t quite see your face, your pretty nose scrunched and eyes shut as you focused on the feeling between your legs, trying to make it good enough to lead you to pleasure once more. 

With his phone he let the intensity of the vibration grow just a bit. A very, very tiny bit. 

“More.” You mewled, your fingers rubbing your clit. 

There was his suggestion. 

Sliding his hand up against your side, then forward, near your belly, he managed to take control of your wrist, pushing it away and trapping it behind your back. “I’m gonna give you more, but that’s all you’re gonna get, Kitten.” He warned, letting his thumb increase the vibration on the touch screen of his phone. 

“Fuck it. Yes.” You said, as the stimulus became medium-intense. 

And then mild again. “Don’t mess with me please, just please!” You cried out, writhing against nothing, parting your legs wider as he noticed the cord hang between your leg twitching with the tight contractions of your cunt. 

“Oh, I shouldn’t?” He raised the controller all the way up. 

“YOONGI!” You screamed, your body out of control as your legs gave out, pushing your hips against the mattress, the soft fiber of the blanket feeling divine on the delicate tip of your clit. 

And then again the vibration quieted down, your brow furrowing as you felt your eyes get watery, huffing out, panting and grunting as you looked for relief, grinding against the bed desperately.

With a grin he let the vibration flutter on a middle ground, giving you a fleeting feeling of stronger and weaker stimulation. 

“How does your tiny cunt feel, Kitten? Is it tight? Wet? Warm?” He asked, provokingly. 

“It feels very— Yoongi!” You called again as he let you begin talking comfortably and then turned the vibrations all the way up, making you tear up and cry out his name. 

“That’s right.” He said. “It feels me.” He toyed with the cursor on the upper side of the screen, letting it oscillate among the higher values. “It feels only me. Because that’s my cunt.” He said, talking over your small hiccups and whines. “And it’s the only cunt I want to be inside.” He snarled, bringing the controller down low again, your desperate sniffling making him feel compassionate as he let the vibrations go to the maximum and left them there, his torso rising over you as he let a dollop of spit fall from his lips to your puckered hole, his hand leaving your wrist and spreading over your ass, his thumb spreading his spit and pressing enough to cause a stimulation but gently, not to violate your delicate entrance. 

“I’m so close.” You cried out, panting, your mouth so dry as you felt the wet slide of his finger between your ass cheeks, on the sensitive skin of your anus, where even the slightest outer pressure echoed inside tenfold. 

“Cum for me.” He groaned, picking up your hips and laying his front against your back, rutting his crotch against the seam of your ass.

“I’m— Oh—” You stayed silent as the high rushed over you, an incredible amount of wetness pouring out of your slit, getting caught in the blanket, just the way it was supposed to, the double layer protecting the sheets below. “Oh, Yoongs, babe.” You said, your whole body falling down, your legs kicking and twitching as the vibration stayed too high on your still delicate spot. 

“I wanna ride your face, quick I’m gonna c—” You tried to focus on not squirting again, waiting for him to get in place. 

Mercifully, he turned down the vibrations, laying on his back, parting your knees and sliding below your pelvis, his mouth immediately finding your clit while you raised your front on your elbows, so you could make more room for him — but also to feel your breasts hang heavily, and to tease your nipples while the whole scene carried out. 

Yoongi started sucking almost immediately, one of his hands spread on your ass, rubbing it and squeezing it, the other one toying with the controller, giving you that rhythmic increasing and decreasing stimulation while you got used to the feel of him on your clit. 

And once more you were close, your inner muscles shaking violently as he hummed against you, clicking his tongue fast against your delicate bundle of nerves. 

And just like that, your hips started undulating gently above him, giving him the sign to leave the vibrations high up as you moved your weight on your hands, raising your upper body to look a his eyes focused on your bouncing tits, on your parted mouth, on your eyes, rolling shut as you gushed on him, your cum covering his upper chest as you grabbed your left breast in your palm, constricting it in your painfully tight fist, while your hips went wild on him, fucking your clit into his mouth, moving so hard and fast that he lost his grip on it while you rubbed yourself all over his face, meeting his nose, his chin and simply chasing the feel of the hard surface of his lineaments against your overstimulated clitoris. 

He basked in it, after all the time it had taken to have you this wild, this reckless while his mouth worked his magic on you. You had began your experience with him as a shy novice in the art of getting head, but now here you were, spreading your wetness all over his nose and chin and lips and dammit, forehead too, riding him with the prowess of a tiger, glorious in all your ruthless lust. 

He was aroused by your confidence and it took him a while to realise that you had collapsed over him, crying, begging, your legs kicking against the mattress while your hand had left your breast and had tightened its grip into his hair, keeping his face still first while he tried to move it side to side. Now oversensitive, with tears in your eyes, you pushed his head away, down, off of you. 

“Yoongi. Please. Oh, god. Icycle, Yoongi. Icycle.” You sobbed, your voice breaking as he quickly found the cord and pulled the vibrator out of you. 

And there you were, laying barely alive on the bed, his head under your hips, the toy vibrating on the bed, somewhere. 

He allowed himself one brief second before he lifted your hips and slid out from below you. “Kitten,” He said, worried, wiping his face and chest with a corner of the blanket while he switched off the toy, trying to turn you around, on your back, so he could see you properly. 

Obeying to his insistent hands, you turned, showing him your eyes rimmed with tears, your wild hair, your chest, still shaking with sobs and hiccups. 

“Poor Kitten.” He said, caressing your face. “You had to use your safeword, baby? Are you okay?” He asked, cupping your cheek and kissing you. 

You immediately wrapped yourself around him as he laid on top of you, your lower lip pouting. “I want you closer.” You said, grinding your hips against his hard sex. 

“Need to be fucked by my cock?” He asked. “Again?” With a gentle expression, he parted from you enough to pump his length a couple times before you felt him enter you. 

The sensation was different. With the vibration gone, all you felt was the fullness, the thrusting motion that he started straight away now that your cunt was slippery and wide. 

“Hard and fast, love?” He asked, checking on you. 

You nodded. “If possible, then yes.” You said. “Can I please touch myself? I’m not sure I can cum without after that...” You explained, his head nodding as he already dove for your tits, tightening his hand around your neck — more precisely your jugular — while his mouth focused on your left nipple. 

You felt him beginning to hammer into you, at the beginning with slow, thorough slides that had you feeling every single vein, from the tip to the base. And then he simply focused on the angle, your head growing dizzy as you gurgled his name, helpless, desperate, horny out of your mind, completely fucked out. 

“Does it feel good, Kitten?” He asked, releasing your breast and focusing on your neck, biting and leaving a few bruises and hickeys around. 

“Always.” You whispered, meeting his thrusts. 

“Then move in with me.” He said, pouncing on you in the most unexpected moment. 

“What?” You said, trying to open your eyes, to focus on his expression, his crunched nose, his lips parted and his hair sticking to his forehead with wet locks, the vein on his neck popping out every time he thrusted in and bit his lip in an attempt to control himself. 

“Move.” Thrust. “In.” Thrust. He said, grunting. 

He hit a very good angle, your fingers stilling on your clit. “Yoongi—” With a very smooth stroke, he made your eyes roll close, your lips parting in a tiny word. Very tiny. 

“Yes.” You sibilated. 

“Yes?” He asked again. 

He had probably fucked you dumb and brainless. 

“Yes.” You whispered again. 

“I’m gonna fuck you so good in our home.” He said, ramming in with renewed enthusiasm, finding a speed and an intensity you didn’t think his delicate body could muster. 

“Our home.” You murmured, pushing your heels into his butt and meeting his thursts with impatient little moans as you felt your last high approach, your eyes rolling shut as he tightened the pressure on your veins and finally collapsed on top of you, your fingers strumming your clit a couple more times before you felt that definite clenching; his mouth releasing a tiny hum as he gave two small strokes, his lungs releasing a long exhale. 

“You’re moving in.” He said, exhausted on top of you. “I love you.”

In the small limbo between death and life, in the postorgasmic bliss of the French ‘small death’, you wore a small smile. “You fucked me dumb enough to make me say yes.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard my D is your kryptonite.” He joked, giggling weakly. 

“This was probably your best performance, mr. Min.” You said, patting his head. “Really fucked me dumb. Cunnilingus so good I cried. It’s a ten across the board, love.”

“Well, now that you’re moving in I’ll have a lot more time to defeat my new record. Upgrade. Improve. Elevate.” He nibbled your nipple. “Outdo myself.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. Good: getting the D anytime. Bad: having multiple near death experiences in a week. I might have to reconsider moving in.” You mumbled, combing his hair. 

“I’ll simply have to keep you dumbfucked twenty-four-seven.” He pondered. “Can do.”

You giggled. “Can do.”

[eponis]

Dragon Age Poly Exchange 2021 Signup Letter

Dear @dapolyshipping Author,

Thank you so much for agreeing to write for me!  I adore all these characters, and I adore polyam fics, so you're pretty much guaranteed to make me happy. :-D  I've included specific details in my specific prompts, so this post is general "ways to make Sinope happiest about her fic."

Romance and sex stuff: - I'm very happy with an "everyone is polyam" headcanon — which is to say, feel free to have the characters involved with people I didn't mention, too.  (This is not necessary if you'd like to just focus on a particular triad, of course!) - While having everyone in a giant sexy orgy is FABULOUS, I am also happy with "V"-type relationships (two characters dating the same character, but not each other).  Bonus points if the non-bonking partners have a warm friendship, or at least solid mutual respect. - I'm all about explicit and enthusiastic consent.  You don't need to include the consent negotiations for every scene, as long as it's clear that there WERE negotiations, not just "surprise kink!" - In particular, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT do the "we're in the middle of sex: surprise, someone else is joining us!" situation unless it was explicitly pre-negotiated.  That pings my non-con buttons hard. - Sex is totally not necessary, but if you do go in that direction, feel free to make things as kinky as you want.  (Check out some of my own DAI fics to see the range of stuff I enjoy.)  I'm happy with basically anything that doesn't involve bathroom fluids (piss/scat/vomit) or long-term damage to a character.  (Even permanent body modification can be sexy, but only in a very pre-negotiated and careful context.)

Character stuff: - I tend to read Cullen as a bottom/sub/masochist, though switch!Cullen is fine too, especially in a situation where it's clear that he's topping someone because that's what they really want/need.  Also, Cullenlingus is always hot. - The Iron Bull is wicked smart, and I love seeing his cleverness as much as I love his FUCK YEAH DRAGONS AND REDHEADS persona. - No main characters as villains or Mean Jealous Exes, please.  I love them all in their own ways. - No focus on slavery (canon or AU), please.  It's fine to mention it as Fenris's back story, of course. - I'm super happy with making any of the characters trans, if you're so inclined.  Queerness of any kind, including ace-spectrum characters, is great too. - I'm very happy with disability as a theme (canon or not), but please treat it respectfully and avoid ableism.  No "oh noes, Character X is disabled now, their life is OVER!!!11!" angst. - AUs, even "cliché AUs" like coffee shops and high school, are totally fine by me.  So is canon!  And speaking of clichés, I am extremely fond of taking classic romance clichés (Only One Bed, Fake Romance, Secretly Reciprocated Longtime Crushes, etc.) and reimagining them in the context of consensual polyamory. :-)

DNWs: Dub-con, non-con, bathroom fluids, figures in authority taking advantage of their subordinates, unplanned pregnancy, grimdark bleakness.  Please note that I am fairly picky about dub-con; it's safest to avoid drunk sex, sex pollen, Fuck or Die, etc., unless the trope is carefully explored and subverted.

With much gratitude,

Sinope

[faultlessfinish]

but yeah, “oops! we can’t do anything more than what we’ve done, so people who criticize how we’ve handled minors in the server are just being unfair!” well, nobody asked, but - They don’t have to have an official discord in the first place. Many podcasts don’t. - They don’t have to let minors sign up for their Patreon. 18+ Patreons are a thing. They would have to lose some of that sweet patreon income, though. - They could specifically mention that there are minors in the server in their rules, and say out loud, anywhere, even once, that it’s not appropriate to be sexually explicit around them. - They could actually enforce the “this is a PG-13 server/no NSFW” thing. I don’t know a ton of PG-13 movies that talk about c*m and cucking and p*rn but in fairness, I’m not in the industry like they are. - They could make an opt-in major/minor role thing, so people who don’t want to be talking directly to kids about this stuff would at least have a fighting chance of knowing when they were in a conversation with one. - They could give “MOMS” (as Freddie put it in the relevant conversation) who e-mail the podcast about whether it’s appropriate for their kids an actual answer, instead of sending them some boilerplate he came up with in five minutes by running it past whoever was handy in the discord. (before mocking them behind their backs for having the audacity to contact him and ask instead of listening to the entire thing themselves) - They could set up a mod team that’s adequate to notice and shut it down when people start talking about the sons or other minors sexually.  - They as a cast could set the tone by… well damn, this list got long. I’ll put it under a cut, so people who don’t want to read fucked-up nonconsensual and underage shit can give it a pass. And yeah, I can receipt every single one of these things, but the people who aren’t interested in taking this seriously won’t be convinced either way, and it’s a lot of effort to redact screencaps and provide image descriptions. 

They could get out of the habit of talking about stuff like whether or not Paeden will ever nut on the podcast or how Glenn would check out Nick’s porn history because it was probably “curated” for him. 

Beth could skip out on saying things about how Bella and Dr Cullen have mad sexual tension, or how Ron’s not into ageplay but she is. (And hey, it’s not about underage stuff, but it would also be neat if Anthony could have “and if you and Ron fucked, I’d watch and masturbate” as an inside his head thought.) Anthony, meanwhile, could not say stuff like “I ship the Mayor and Faith,” given that Faith is a teenager at the time and the Mayor is explicitly her father figure.  Anthony could drop the whole thing about how he loves it when people call him “daddy.” (Yeah, Anthony, we’re all pretty clear on your kinks at this point. Wish we weren’t. Sorry that you had to back off of making Darryl a literal cuck because you were attempting to look like a good feminist, and yeah, anybody who google image searches the name “Darnell” and sees the hits is pretty clear on which particular racist iteration of that “problematic” fetish he had in mind. It’s literally a name they use to test implicit racist bias in psych research.) If Anthony absolutely can’t stand that Dot, a literal baby, is getting more attention than him then at minimum he could find some other way to express than than calling her “fuck-ugly.”

Anthony could stop threatening to fuck user’s mothers if they disagree with him or inviting them to eat his ass. Particularly given that, like we’ve gone over, there’s no way to know whether he’s saying that to a thirteen year old.  He could not call people “eight year old perverts” like that’s an actual thing. 

Matt could stop joking about how Darryl studies Grant’s p*rn history to do “research” on being gay, or how Darryl cleans Grant’s bathroom all the time to prevent him from masturbating.

Anthony could roll up to the live listens with something other than “ah, just in time for my cucksmanship.” The community manager of the “PG-13, no NSFW” server could respond to that with something besides a big-eyed blushing face emoji.

The whole cast could stop jumping on every potential innuendo and double entendre that goes past regardless of whether the subject is a kid. (And speaking of the double entendre thing, do they realize they did the “Darryl becomes a barbarian when he comes…” “AHAHA CUMS” joke two episode intros in a row? Doesn’t it hurt when they crack their skulls together like Looney Tunes characters all diving for the lowest-hanging fruit at the same time? Is there a coconut sound effect that Freddie has to edit out in post?) In stuff like the first full ep of the Lord of Chaos arc, where Matt tries repeatedly to get the dads their clothes back so that they can stop being fully dicks out around a little crying girl and two middle-school boys, Anthony could use that much-vaunted “yes, and” to let them get dressed instead of shutting him down on four separate occasions. Count em! [Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg voice: not one, not two, not three, but FOUR!] Anthony could not go into detail about how if Yeet’s skateboard was biological, it would mean that he really enjoys the sensation of rolling and grinding very much [italics and line breaks from the original] You know, like how you talk about a child?

If Freddie isn’t clear on how pegging works, he could google it instead of asking the all-ages live listen to explain it to him.

Will could not make jokes about how if he catches his child with bootlegged porn, he’ll make them finish it all. They could not use “consent” and “non-consensually” as joke terms all the time in and out of the show, or diminish the impact of words like that by applying them to stuff like punching each other or drawing from the deck of many things. It’s like they figured out how to stop using “r*pe” as a word in r*pe jokes but figured out a loophole. 

[asexualactivities]

Kink Party Response

[This post is a submission.]

First of all: thank you so much for asking this! This is something that feels so important for me and I´m glad that it´s been put a bit more into focus. So… “Have you ever been to one?” Yes, I´ve been to several kink parties before and I´ve really enjoyed it lots. Of course, every party is different since there´s always another group of participants and sometimes there´s also new space you might not know that well and the experience can of course depend heavily on the people and the location. That said, I also feel like there´s a difference between a “kink” party (as in, clearly, classically BDSM- themed) that emphasises power exchange and a “sex” party that emphasises… well, intercourse (as in, say, a “normal” swinger/sex club). When it´s a BDSM- themed party, I also feel that there´s a huge difference in the atmosphere depending on whether the party´s explicitly queer friendly or not. “Why did you go?” Being kinky is an important part of my identity. It makes me feel like I can really express myself: physically, emotionally, it enables me to build and feel intense connection to another human being - or even just experience this connection and intensity with watching others play. Some might get this level of intensity through sex… but, yeah, since I don´t like having sex, being able to submerge in “the kink world” just makes me feel alive… “home”, even. I really love going to parties like that, even if it´s just for the atmosphere. “What was it like?” As I said, it really depends on the specific party. Generally speaking, I can just say that I´ve always felt very safe and very welcome at parties like this- even (and exspecially) as an ace person. This is what most people who don´t know the scene have the most problems believing (and sure, I guess there can be shady spaces too, you should always check for recommendations first) but: most parties like this have a very clear codex and very clear rules that, for example, put clear consent above anything else. Which means: you can look but you can NOT touch, make any crude remarks, invade people´s personal space, make someone feel uneasy in any way WITHOUT their clear and explicit consent. If anyone does that and gets reported, the host will very probably make them leave. The success of parties like this really depends on the atmosphere and if people (exspecially subs/ people on lower social status) can feel safe there. This, for example, sets a much higher standart than most regular bars/clubs/parties from the start: people know they WILL need to behave and be respectful, or they can´t be part of the fun. What I also think can be surprising if you don´t know the scene: the atmosphere tends to be more relaxed imo, there´s some sexual tension but mostly in private, between couples or groups who currently have a scene going on. It´s absolutely not like in the movies, where people wear scary masks and have no limits/ act like they´re shooting a porn flick and everyone has sex with everyone else: no. This is a friendly & intimate space for intimate scenes, and most people come there with their partner whom they love and trust very much. It´s also not filled with models and porn actors: there are very normal people of ALL shapes and sizes, throughout a very wide age range.  “Would you want to go to (another) one?” I would love to, yes of course. Unfortunately, it´s often hard for spaces like this to exist, or parties like this to (keep) get(ting) organized. If you have one that´s still accessible and in reach for you: consider yourself lucky. It´s a privilege and you never know how long it´ll last. “What would you hope to get out of it?” I have certain kinks that don´t collide with me being ace too much- for example, I like rope play. Make use of the thrilling atmosphere with tieing some knots and wrapping someone who likes that in different kinds of rope: that´s always new and interesting and exciting and it´s always fun. What I also love is touching: sensation play, impact - flogging - it´s not so much about the pain (even if that can be a welcomed part of it), it´s about the connection. Touching, teasing, physical closeness, slow build up, intensity. I guess it´s pretty similar to sex, just without, you know, the sex… xD (I also love post scene cuddling. Some call it aftercare, I call it earned rewards <3)

“How would you make a general kink or sex party more welcoming to aces?” I would write it in the flyer (or on the website, wherever information about the party is) that it´s a party that welcomes consensual sex between adults in pretty much all forms… and also consensual non-sex. It´d explicitly mention that it´s queer & ace friendly and asexual kinksters are welcome… TO BE HONEST though, doing that seems a little redundant, because what I believe is that ace kinksters are pretty much holding some reins in most kink communities ALREADY: being ace and kinky is nothing so special. TBH, there´ve probably been a lot of ace kinksters before being ace was officially so much of a thing. You can see some of that by how different “classic” BDSM- parties tend to go in comparison to BDSM themed swinger/sex club parties. It´s a regular complain by some “allos” that at “classic” BDSM parties there is “not enough sex” happening and the kinkster scene is “too asexual” as a whole. So I´d say, in my experience, most “classic” BDSM parties are quite ace friendly already. It can get overwhelming if the party´s more open to the public and swinger themed and people flood the place and sex is happening everywhere- but that rarely happens. I´ve seen that only once. Most of the time it´s relatively quiet and relaxed and there is always some space where sex isn´t that in-your-face. I´d probably make a sex- free safe space for ace friendly kink parties, but tbh, most kink parties already do that. There´s often a “chill out” or “social” area or some kind of lounge where it´s only low key - play (if any) and the majority of sexual stuff happens elsewhere. I think that´s pretty cool! “If you were going to throw one, what would it be like?” It would probably have a theme because I LOVE themed parties. I love it when people can go creative and it´s something with a little different twist to the mostly monochrome dresscode… how about a “1001 nights” party, with lots of draped fabrik, silk cushions and incense, sweet snacks on plates and sleek golden chains on the subs serving them… maybe someone can do a seductive dance or make a show with some daggers and fire…  I like a theme that´s playful and fun, something that gives you this feeling like you´re descending into another world, while still providing a space that enables you to easily and naturally play with control and power… or how about a “heroes and villains” cosplay party? That´d be fun! I´d love to do that! <3 That said: kinky ace people, don´t be shy! :D Kink parties can be a lot of fun and hell yeah, we should continue showing up there, contributing to the community. We´ve always been part of the kink world - this is home for some of us. Don´t let anyone tell you otherwise <3

[floraone]

Hi, I ADORE your smut! I just binged through all of it this long weekend! I really think it stands out in the way you stress importance on consent in particular! Usually I'm actually more into dub-con (I don't know why, but I just find it really sexy? probably not good??) but YOU manage to write consent extremely sexily? I'm sorry if this sounds totally weird, but I wanted to say that. And I also wanted to ask you why consent plays such a big role in your writing? I find it really striking!

Hello my dear anon!!! Thank you so much for this ask AND for reading my smut, and I am SO happy that you enjoy it!

Now, warning ahead. You asked why consent is important to me, and even told me I managed to show you some sexy in it, even though you usually don’t go for it, which is SO FRIGGING GREAT TO ME, but so my answer will be both personal, and science-y, and LENGTHY, so… at your own risk, lol? You asked a psychologist sex researcher this question. And so this is the answer you are getting.

So, to answer your question, let me start a little broader:

Sexual desires are pretty damn diverse. And what you desire can be immensely specific. And that’s a good thing – just like you wouldn’t want everyone to be into wearing the same sparkly hoodie and nothing else but that, you wouldn’t want them to only desire gals with red nail polish. So, here, as with anything else, diversity is something that makes us richer.

Among the diversity in sexual desires are factors we can distinguish, though. Where we can group them specifically. Gender and bodytype are among those. Many people desire one specific gender in the gender spectrum, some don’t, you know this one. But sexual desires and orientations really don’t stop at one gender. Just because you’re into guys doesn’t mean you’re into every man that ever walked this earth. Your desires are more specific than that. So, there are other factors than just gender. One example that I already named is bodytype. And it is also a factor on which I can illustrate the following very well: Variance and diversity is good. But bodytype preference specifically shows us that we are not as diverse as we should be in this regard. If this were a normal distribution, we should have way more variance in what bodytypes people desire. And in fact, statistically seen, we do see that desired bodytypes vary slightly more between both hetero- and homosexual women than they do in men; but in no gender they still vary as much as they “should”. One possible and plausable explanation for this (tho not exclusive! Looking at you, evolutional psychology) is: We are influenced in our preference. By media, by zeitgeist, by the judgemental comments of those around you, by mere exposure even (i.e.: what you’re used to seeing more often!). Heterosexual cis-men might so overwhelmlingly prefer smaller, slender, tight, overtly youthful bodytypes in part  because so many accumulating influences have taught them to. And, because once preference is formed (during and around puberty) it’s highly fucking stable and can not be nudged (see those harmful streams of psychology and pseudo-psychology that have tried to “convert” homosexuality in the much-too-recent past!), these influences are a very powerful and lasting influencial thing! Because we don’t CHOOSE what we desire. It forms without our will, and stays like that (though obviously you can discover sides to it later on that you never even knew were there! Especially because in most cases, we are not exclusive in our desires, and there are more sides to it we have yet to discover!)

So. Anyway.All this I said to make the following point:

Another factor (just like bodytype or gender) in which we statistically distinguish sexual desires in the scientific literature about it, is if people sexually desire consenting sex vs. non-consenting sex. As we saw with bodytypes, what we see and what we’re used to seeing has an effect on what we end up desiring once puberty has finished forming our from-then-on stable desires. Now, please remember we tend to live in what we commonly name a “rape culture” almost everywhere around the world, some places more overwhelmingly “heavy” on it than others. And we do tend to see the correlation that in countries where pornographic material contains exponentially more depictions of rape and non-consenting sex and coercion, where the overcoming of a “no” and the exploitation of helpless sexual partners gets romanticized a lot (looking at you, Japanese porn), more people desire non-consensual sex over consentual sex than in countries where more explicitly non-consentual content is banned. And while way more motivation is needed to commit a sex crime than just sexual arousal towards an individually desired stimulus, it is certainly a risk factor (one that goes both ways, mind you: if you’re into the idea of non-consexual sex, for whatever reason, you’re both more likely to become a perpetrator OR a victim!)

So, what I’m saying here very lenghtily (sorry!): With my fics I write sexual media. From my own experience I can very much attest to the fact that pubescent kids read smutty fanfiction. I did back then. It was my first introduction into sexual media as a kid. And lots of sexual media, especially mainstream pornography but not exclusively, contains non-consenting sex which seems to be one factor among many that has the power to influence kids in their puberty to develop sexual desires for those depicted stimuli.

This is of course not to say that it’s bad to be into a little “dub-con”, as you say. I myself enjoy consentual powerplay A LOT. You know, depictions of sex where one of the partners gets restrained by the wrists, or frantic sex that can turn a little rough (even when, for me, it’s important that this is ok by both partners very much explicitly!), or quickies without much foreplay and a lot of frenzy that are incredibly arousing to me if the emotions are all laid out for me to read! But I also know I had no choice in desiring this, this is the result of the cocktail of influences both internal and external that I was exposed to until my sexuality fully formed. And I can’t tell you if depictions of dominance and powerplays however consensual might not absolutely turn me off if I’d not grown up in an environment that romanticizes this as I grew up! I might have learned this, in part, through sexual media that I consumed during the onset of my puberty.

And this is one of the many reasons why depictions of consent in the sexual media that I put out is so important to me. I play a teeny tiny part in this grand picture. My fics might be what two, three, ten kids during their puberty consume. And I feel a responsibility towards these two, three, maybe 10 kids that read my content, to put out something where I have the power to not contribute to this rape culture, and instead depict a sexuality that can be communicative, consensual, mostly realistic and still arousing. At least I strive towards that goal, and find some meaning in it!

ESPECIALLY because of my field of work in sexual aggression research, AND because in mainstream media, outside of porn, sex either gets censored completely, or it gets only depicted if it’s problematic! We tend to see a lot of rape in media. In books, in shows, in films. It always tells a narrative. But we rarely get shown explicit, healthy, empowered sexual content where both partners are into exploring every last kink they share!

So yes, there are many people who find a little dub-con, or even non-con, very stimulating. And there is nothing at all wrong with that! (You know, as long as you don’t harm anyone, this goes without saying!) Nobody chooses what floats their boat and it should be completely judgement-free as long as no one is harmed by it. And some people suffer a lot by what they like, too, even if they had no hand in deciting what got them going, which is a whole different topic in and on itself.

It doesn’t mean people aren’t valid in their desires whatever way they are formed sexually.

But I choose to contribute in this teensy-tiny way that I can, that someone who gets exposed to sexual media by me first, might find some kink in consent and communicating their needs to each other. I believe the world would be a safer place if more people were to get turned on by consent. So that is one reason why I always address it, and try to work it into even the most problematic of tropes, because I believe it can be done and I believe it can be done in very arousing ways!

(And yeah, sorry for the length… I was very happy about getting this ask?)

[sparxwrites]

i think u have a point abt kinks being only one step sideways from vanilla stuff, but what about the heavier/violent stuff? im trying to think of where it might come from and my only idea is maybe a dark fascination with what our imaginations are capable of. i remember being younger and fascinated with writing violent things just because i was surprised my imagination served. you're certainly more experienced with dark stuff than i am, though. what do you think?

tw for frank discussions of violence and sex, sometimes the intersection between the two, and a whole variety of sometimes very extreme kinks

Okay, that’s a tricky one. And not something that has a single answer, either – I’ve talked to a lot of people about what they see in darker fiction, and honestly every single person has had a slightly different perspective on it (one person, entertainingly enough, just shrugged and said they liked the aesthetic). But there do seem to be some common threads, and I’ll see if I can… if not provide answers, then at least provide food for thought and maybe lay out the groundwork for an interesting discussion.

(The rest is under a cut because, me being me, I got a little carried away, and this turned out to be something of an essay, and a compilation of thoughts I’ve had for a while now and conversations I’ve had with others. Whoops.)

The first thing is, I think, defining whether we’re talking about heavier/violent stuff in a consensual (either fictional or non-fictional) context – ie. heavy impact play, bloodplay, needleplay, consensual nonconsent, humiliation and degradation, what I’d call BDSM in a broad context – or a non-consensual, fictional context – ie. fiction involving rape, torture, severe bodily harm, gore, what I’d call whump and darkfic.

(I’m not talking about non-consensual non-fictional contexts, on the basis those are a) pretty much illegal, and b) even people I’ve talked to who enjoy really dark non-consensual fictional stuff are usually deeply upset or even disturbed by the thought of the same stuff in a non-fictional context. I can talk about the psychology of someone who wants their fave fictional character being beaten bloody, but wanting that to happen to an actual person is… a little beyond me. It’s not something I’ve talked to people about, and something I personally feel deeply uncomfortable thinking about outside the context of a consensual BDSM scene.)

Another thing is to define whether we’re talking about sexualised “stuff” or nonsexualised “stuff”. The consensual things are almost always sexualised, fictional or not (though very occasionally you might come across depictions BDSM that are entirely free of sex). Fictional depictions of non-consensual things are also sometimes sexualised – noncon fanfic (which is, by definition, sexualised, since noncon vs. rape was fandom-historically used to differentiate between sexualised and nonsexualised non-consent) is the most obvious example. Most fictional depictions of non-consensual violence, though, are things like torture, sickfic (not exactly violence, but it falls under the general “people in pain when they don’t want to be”), hurt/comfort, and whump, which generally aren’t explicitly sexualised.

We also need to work out whether people’s responses to these various categories are erotic or not. Are people actively getting off to them? Passively aroused by them, but not getting off? Are people reading them because they want to be aroused, or is that a (possibly irrelevant?) side effect? Are they getting something other than arousal from them?

With sexualised stuff, this is pretty easy – people pretty much always have erotic responses to sexualised stuff, that’s what it’s designed for. It’s written with the intent to arouse, that’s why it’s classed as “sexualised”.

But with non-sexualised stuff, such as whump, or hurt/comfort, or torture porn, it’s a lot more complicated. Some people have erotic responses, but a lot of people don’t, or only sometimes have erotic responses. Many seem to struggle to even answer any of the above questions – the difference between erotic responses, other powerful emotional or physical responses, can sometimes be blurry and difficult to define.

I and other people I’ve talked to about this, though, seem to get strong “stomach feelings” when reading good whump. They sound similar to arousal but are different somehow. Variously, I’ve had people talk about things like an emptiness just under their ribcage, a heaviness in their stomach, a lurch in their stomach, “like someone’s tucked a hook behind my stomach and pulled”, lightning through their abdomen, shortness of breath / panting, tightness, hollowness, an ache…

There’s definitely similarities to sexual feelings there, but people usually seem pretty insistent that it’s not exactly the same – even though it does feel good, and it’s a sensation they actively try to find more of by seeking out fiction that generates it – since they only get it from fictional depictions of violence or pain. Trying to find language for intense, pleasurable physical sensations that aren’t sexual is incredibly hard, but non-sexual or only partially sexual physical pleasure seems to be an integral to a lot of people’s enjoyment of fictional violence.

(Case in point: like you, I also remember being younger (we’re talking like… starting from about six or seven, here, really young) and daydreaming about either my favourite characters, or myself / thinly-veiled self-inserts, being hurt to help me get to sleep. Like, properly broken bones and blood and screaming kind of hurt. It took me until maybe a few years ago to realise these were not the kinds of things “normal” people daydreamed about for fun, so I certainly wasn’t doing it out of surprise at what my brain could come up with, and it definitely wasn’t a sexual thing. I just liked it. Lots of other people I’ve talked to have similar stories of enjoying fictional depictions of violence, and daydreaming or thinking about them for enjoyment, from a young age and well before they had any kind of sexual awakening.)

In some ways, I think the sexualised stuff is easier to analyse, since that’s mostly about sex (by the sheer merit of being a consensual scene or a sexualised non-consensual fantasy, it’s designed to be jerked off to). So, let’s have a look at some of the feelings and desires based around that kind of thing first.

The fact that people get off on power and control, or lack thereof, and vulnerability, is just sort of… a fact. And almost all fetishes eventually come down to that power versus no-power dynamic, even the really weird, “scary” ones – I’ve talked to people about hard vore and rape fantasies and execution kink, and they’ve all talked about how it’s about Dom/sub roles, about the submission of the “victim” to their fate, about the power held over them by the predator / attacker / executioner.

On the basis I have notes from the conversation I had about execution kink, let’s look at that one (I told you, I really like learning about this stuff). On the surface, getting off to fictional depictions of people being executed seems very, very heavy, but… the person I discussed this with talked about liking the aspects of the person being bound and handcuffed pre-execution (bondage), about being tried and sentenced and paraded around in front of a crowd and feeling scared and embarrassed (humiliation), about the ritualised aspect of it (rituals of various kinds are common in the BDSM community, from collaring ceremonies to body modification rituals). They talked about the historical pressure for the condemned to submit to their fate, “put on a good show”, pay their executioner (submission). They talked about necks and breathplay, and the condemned’s feet twitching (foot fetish), and the “death erections” people sometimes get (involuntary arousal) with regards to hanging, specifically.

So that’s, y’know, something really big and dark that I think a lot of people would kind of instinctively rear back from, that’s actually just a lot of smaller, very “reasonable” kinks being combined into one thing. If someone says, “Hey, I’m into necks, breathplay, bondage, humiliation, Dom/sub stuff, and feet,” you might think that’s a lot of kinks or be squicked by some of them, but you won’t necessarily think they had “dark” tastes. Turns out, that’s also all the basic components people who like fictional depictions of executions and hangings seem to enjoy. Weird, huh?

On a similar but slightly different note, some things I’ve heard from a lot of people who enjoy noncon or dubcon are that, a) contrary to the popular opinion of “people who like noncon are stealth rapists”, they tend to imagine themselves in the victim’s position rather than the attacker’s, and b) there’s a strong element of “I feel ashamed by / scared of / nervous about the prospect of sex, and having to admit I want sex, and the negotiation and intimacy and emotions that come with that – but also I want sex. Therefore, in fiction, the idea of having sex forced upon me, or being drugged/intoxicated or manipulated to the point I am not responsible for having sex, is powerfully appealing”.

Essentially, a large part of the appeal of rape fantasies seems to come from the prospect of being able to have sex whilst maintaining you definitely don���t want sex – which, in a culture that constantly talks about sex and encourages sex and pushes images of sex, whilst also telling people (specifically women and afab people, and some other marginalised groups such as disabled individuals) that they shouldn’t have or even want sex, makes sense. In a rape fantasy, you can have as much sex as you like, and it’s not your fault (and therefore you’re not an awful, sex-hungry monster), because you didn’t ask for or consent to it.

Obviously, people don’t actually want to be raped and would be deeply upset if their fantasies actually happened irl, but in the privacy of their own heads it’s a useful “tool” of sorts to circumvent feelings of shame attached to sex. Also, hey! Conveniently plays into the whole submission thing a lot of people have, often conveniently plays into stuff like breathplay, bondage, bruises and slapping, humiliation, maybe age difference or size difference or group sex… Again, big scary fantasy, really not particularly scary once you break it down into lil bite-sized chunks.

(Not all people have rape fantasies for this reason, though it’s a very common one. For some people, the “actually wanting it, deep down” thing is actually a turn-off, given they’re attracted to the vulnerability and control aspects of it. For some people, they enjoy “actually wanting it” in depictions of sexualised assault, where there’s an element of ravishment to it, but dislike it in non-sexualised depictions of assault, where the appeal is the character’s vulnerability, or the control the rapist has over them, or the negative emotions and physical pain involved with it. Fantasies are complicated, and even people with very, very similar fantasies may be getting completely different things out of them.)

There’s also the taboo aspect of these kinks and other things like them, which is a powerful draw. Humans like breaking rules (or at least, breaking rules in the privacy of their own heads) for some reason – it gives them a bit of a rush, makes them feel good. Humans also just seem to fundamentally really like power dynamics, and as a result they’ve found a lot of really interesting ways to tie it into sex (with various additions for flavour).

(You’ll notice how I say “in fiction” or “in their own heads” or “in fantasies” – because, surprise surprise, a lot of people with darker sexual fantasies don’t want those things to ever happen. Fantasies are often not remotely an indication of what you actually want, irl, sexually. You can have a reoccurring, incredibly powerful fantasy that gets you off like a rocket every goddamn time, and also be kind of sick thinking about it happening irl. That’s perfectly normal, and perfectly fine – and, in the case of things like rape and executions, probably pretty good, because it indicates you’ve got a working conscience.)

With outright kinky stuff, too, I think there’s a habituation aspect to it – you can be kind of trained to find something erotic by having it presented alongside more conventionally erotic stimuli often enough, or even just coming across something that presents it as strongly erotic. A lot of people tell me they didn’t realise they had a certain kink until they read something I wrote with it, and I really suspect that’s because I kind of… think about the building blocks of what makes a particular fetish appealing, and emphasise them in a way that appeals to even people without the fetish. You can definitely coax other people into liking something with a “convincing” enough “argument”, or train yourself into liking something by associating it with pleasure. This, I think, though, is probably less common for violent and dark things than it is for stuff like, say… foot fetishes or leather kink, more every-day objects of fixation that it’s easier to accidentally associate with pleasure.

For less sexualised violent and dark fiction, such as whump and hurt/comfort, though, understanding why people like it becomes a little more difficult and murky. It’s not directly about sex, and people don’t seem to view it as inherently sexual or have inherently sexual responses to it, but do seem to get some kind of pleasure from it. Sometimes that pleasure is sexual, sometimes it’s not, mostly it seems to be a very confusing mix of the two. I suspect that mix has a lot to do with people who like whump also liking analogous, explicitly kinky and sexual things, and sort of… not signals getting crossed, exactly, but something similar.

It doesn’t help that a lot of the language of sex is also the language of pain – squirm, gasp, groan, moan, writhe, shudder, clench, too much, please, god, fuck, kicking feet and sweat and wide eyes and dilated pupils and hearts thumping in chests. Unsurprisingly, a lot of the language of pain is also the language of submission – begging and cowering, vulnerability, reliance on others, bending to another’s will, weak and small and shaking. Even when torture or pain isn’t deliberately being written as erotic, the language of sex and power (and a variety of other fetishes besides) is still there, and both brains and bodies will still respond to that.

Oddly enough, if they’re written similarly, your arousal probably doesn’t care much whether that fictional character being choked consented to it or not, or whether it was supposed to be sexual or not – their eyelids are still fluttering, their breath is still coming in short pants and hitching wheezes, they can still see the darkness creeping in at the edges of their vision and hear the blood rushing in their own ears, and they’re still going to have a collar of bruises blooming dark around their neck come tomorrow morning. The only difference between a Dominant and their submissive, and a torturer and their victim, is consent, and in fictional fantasies that can be a very blurry line when it comes to people’s weird, unreliable sex brains that just want that sweet, sweet power differential.

(As a side note, it’d be interesting to see what the correlation between “likes whump” and “likes various whump-like aspects of BDSM” is, and also what roles people tend to imagine themselves in when they read whumpfic versus how dominant or submissive they consider themselves. The general consensus by people who object to violent fic seems to be that everyone who enjoys it sees themselves in the aggressor’s position, because they’re “secretly abusers”, but… my personal experience is that people usually seem to imagine themselves in either the position of the whumpee, or the caregiver (the person getting hurt, or the person looking after the hurt person, respectively, for those not familiar with the terms).

A lot of very violent and dark stuff tends to be vicariously enjoyed from the perspective of the “submissive” party, it seems. And when someone vicariously enjoys it from the perspective the dominant party, even people used to existing in these darker spaces tend to get worried. I’ve had friends who’ve bumped into stuff like this outside of fandom spaces mention how they feel deeply unsafe around the people there (usually men) who enjoy taking on the role as the aggressor and also seem very into the idea of this stuff actually happening. So, even in dark kinky spaces, there’s a distinction between “safe” and “unsafe” people who are into stuff, based around perceived willingness to enact non-consensual violence irl.)

I think, though, the most powerful non-sexual motivators for liking non-sexualised violence in fiction are emotional venting and catharsis. Darkfic allows us to explore a range of very powerful emotions – sadism, cruelty, twisted pleasure, and anger on the behalf of the person doing the hurting, and pain, misery, fear, horror, desperation, and grief on behalf of the person being hurt – in a safe, controlled environment where we can say stop at any point. In real life, these emotions are powerful, and scary, and can be overwhelming, and in a way confronting them in fiction can be a good way of practicing for feeling them irl.

However, in the same way intense physical sensation can be good regardless of whether it’s pleasurable or not, intense emotions can be good regardless of whether they’re positive or not.

Sometimes, especially for people who are hurting, it can almost be better if they’re not good. If you’re hurting emotionally, sometimes it’s easy to translate that into physical pain in fiction, to match the way you feel like you’re screaming inside to the way some fictional character actually is screaming. If you’re angry, sometimes it feels good and cleansing to write about a fictional character getting torn to fucking shreds, in much the same way it feels good to punch a pillow and scream until your throat’s raw. There’s a lovely post about finding fiction that “matches the shredder noise in your head”, and although I disagree a little with the implication that only unhappy people like whump, and that you inevitably grow out of it as you leave your teen years behind, I really like the shredder metaphor.

Best of all, fiction comes with catharsis, usually. Not so much darkfic or torture porn, but whump and hurt/comfort usually have a caregiver character, who spends the whole story worrying over the character getting hurt, and / or spends a portion of the story nursing the character back to health. Either way, they provide a way for the reader to vicariously live through being cared about and fussed over and have people demonstrating their love for the whumpee through being deeply distressed over their pain and desperate to ease it, to help them.

(If you think about it, this is, perhaps, very similar to the way a Dom provides their sub with love and catharsis and care during aftercare after intense scenes – which may have included powerful emotions such as shame from things like humiliation and dehumanisation, or physical pain from things like flogging or spanking… Isn’t it funny how people play out the same patterns over and over? Once you’re looking for them, they’re surprisingly easy to spot. Breaking people down, building them back up again… violence and vulnerability, and control.)

For anyone (and, again, especially for people who are hurting emotionally already in some way) this whole process can be very powerful, and very soothing. The character is hurt, broken down – and there’s this lovely, intense emotional release on the reader’s behalf where they get to experience all these big, scary, good emotions, maybe have a bit of a cry, maybe feel a bit sick, maybe get a little aroused. They can wallow in the state the character’s been brought down to, where they’re so tired and broken and damaged that there’s nowhere lower to go, that they can just be – which, oddly enough, can be very soothing in a way.

And then a caregiver turns up, and demonstrates their love and affection and deep desire to help the character that the reader has been putting themselves in the position of – and the reader gets to experience that love and care and acknowledgement of the pain they’ve just been through, second-hand.

Some people need this final catharsis a lot, and go for hurt/comfort, where the balance of hurt to comfort is usually 50:50, or tipped even further in favour of comfort, and the hurt is generally fairly mild (broken leg, small accident, minor injuries). Some people need more intense hurt, and less comfort, where the balance is maybe 75:25, or tipped even further in favour of hurt (possibly even no explicit comfort, just the promise that it’s going to happen after the story), and the injuries might be graphic, or there might be torture. And then there’s darkfic, and tortureporn, that’s just entirely hurt, and usually involves gore / guro / body horror, people enduring unsurvivable injuries, and possibly the character dying at the end. So the vulnerability-catharsis cycle isn’t the same for everyone! And, in fact, doesn’t even need to be a cycle for some people.

(I, personally, tend to sit cheerfully on the line between whump and tortureporn, for those curious. Love me some torture, but I generally want at least the promise of a positive-ish ending, if not a little outright worrying and comforting from a caregiver character. Suffering is most interesting when there’s someone who cares there to witness it and worry over, for me – it legitimises the pain of it, somehow, I think.)

Incidentally, mentioning “broken down”: characters can be really interesting to read about and write in extreme mindsets, whether that’s someone broken down to almost nothing, someone furiously determined not to give into the pain and stay strong, someone who’s abusive and whose thought processes are badly warped as a result, someone who’s so sadistic they’re barely even human any more… extremes of human existence, of human experience, of human thought processes and mindset, seem to just be a Thing that people find interesting. (They’re a thing people are interested in experiencing, but in a controlled environment where no one’s actually getting hurt.) So I’m sure that’s also got something to do with it – that humans are kinda voyeuristic and nosey when it comes to Horrible Things and Mangled Corpses and Huge Tragedies, even irl, and that naturally bleeds over into fiction.

Another important aspect is that both irl and fiction are full of examples of violence and hurt towards minority groups – women, poc, and lgbtq+ and mentally ill people, to mention just a few, since they’re the groups fandom is largely comprised of. But there’s very few depictions of (specifically cishet and white, but not exclusively) men experiencing violence, or being hurt. When men in fiction do get hurt, they largely bounce back from it, action-hero style. You get this sort of “impervious, invulnerable man” character, who never seems to experience any true sort of pain or suffering – and who also looks a lot like the people who enact violence on minorities in real life.

There is, then, something appealing about a) seeing the untouchable become touchable, the unhurtable become hurt, the invulnerable made vulnerable, b) seeing someone who is usually the one enacting trauma being the one that’s experiencing the trauma, and suffering for it, “seeing how it feels”, c) seeing someone who usually shrugs off any kind of trauma or pain having to actually deal with that pain, and become vulnerable and more real as a result, sort of humanising thing, and d) being able to project the violence and trauma minorities experience or live in fear of on a daily basis onto a “blank slate” character.

In a culture that treats male (again, especially white, cishet male) as the default, hurting fictional male characters can be a way for minorities to examine, explore, and discuss their fears and feelings surrounding the violence they’re constantly hyperaware of, but one step removed from themselves. You can hurt a white, cisgender man and be able to realistically talk about violence, and the short- and long-term consequences of that violence, without having to think about stuff like racism, transphobia, and misogyny, which may be a little too close for comfort. Even given fandom’s tendency to make characters gay or bi, a fairly small proportion of whump and darkfic is focused on attacks to do with or even tangentially related to a character’s sexual orientation. People want the violence and the aftermath, but they don’t necessarily want the messy, real societal issues that so often come along with that.

There’s a lot of discussion about women using slashfic to examine their thoughts and feelings about sex and romance without having to confront various, female-specific or gendered issues around them. I get the feeling – especially given most whump targets are male, and many people are utterly disinterested in or actively upset by female whump – that whump is, similarly, a “safe” way for women and other minorities to explore their thoughts and feelings about the violence they are immersed in. They can even create imagined minorities which which to explore realistic violence against minorities but again without the personal context. This is most obvious with A/B/O and BDSM aus (omegas, who are stereotyped in-universe as weak and prey-like and needing an alpha to “protect them”, and subs, who are stereotyped in-universe as much the same), but even in aus more removed from being obvious social critiques people tend to create some kind of group perceived in-universe as weak and easily victimised with which to explore these issues.

And, even when the whump targets are members of real-life minorities, such women, or poc, or lgbtq+, there’s still that element of author or reader control. They can control whether the whumpee is getting hurt because of their minority status, which minority status they’re being hurt because of, whether the violence they experience lines up to common irl expressions of violence against that minority, how far the violence goes, whether the fictional community around the whumpee reacts realistically or overwhelmingly sympathetically…

Finally, and relatedly to the above point, there’s also the eternally-trotted-out “coping mechanism” line, which… has been pretty badly weaponised, unfortunately, by people who don’t really seem to care about the people using darker fiction as a coping mechanism and mostly seem to care about policing people’s fiction consumption. But it’s definitely a thing, and some people enjoy darker fiction because it gives them a way to relive past abuse or mistreatment in a safe environment (they can close the tab, hit the back button, if it gets too intense). Allows them to put themselves in a position of power again (reading noncon and imagining themselves as the rapist, or reading noncon and knowing they can stop reading at any time, or reading a consensual nonconsent scene where the sub actually has the power because they can say stop at any time). Gives them a sense of reassurance and catharsis through the caregiving aspect of it (their fave characters went through what they did, these characters still have people who love them even after the abuse, these characters were told it wasn’t their fault and they’re strong and perfect and deserve to be supported and their abusers are bad people). Gives them a chance to fictionally confront their abuser (the fictional abuser gets put in jail, or killed, or gets the shit kicked out of them / gets verbally condemned by the survivor’s friends, or the survivor finds the strength to confront them about what they did).

And oh, hey, look, we’re back to power, and controllable vulnerability, and catharsis. Surprise!

So… that’s it, really. In the end, it largely comes down to power and control, and catharsis, and vulnerability. People use darkfic because it’s a safe way of feeling intense emotions and then getting love and catharsis afterwards, or of venting negative feelings and desires they’re already feeling without hurting anyone or needing to feel guilty after, and because humans have been getting off on power dynamics and taboos since probably forever. People have kinks for… pretty much the same reasons, but with sexualisation and erotic responses. Pretty much every big, scary kink can be broken down into lots of little non-scary kinks. Fantasies aren’t inherently bad, and it’s pretty normal and not inherently harmful to have fantasies about things that would be Deeply Bad irl. Humans are fucking Weird, and I love them for it.

Did I really need over 5k to say that? Maybe, maybe not, but it’s been fun putting thought into this whilst avoiding doing my coursework, and hopefully it’ll be useful to some people (and maybe to me, next time I need to argue against purity politics).

If you’re interested in talking / thinking more about this: my ask box is always open. I’m always curious to hear people talk about their own experiences with trying to understand their weirder or darker kinks, or happy to answer questions about why I or other people like things, or to just be as much of a safe space as I can manage for these kinds of things. If you’re interested in more introspection about non-sexualised violence and why people have intense, enjoyable (but largely non-erotic) responses to it, go into the “whump” tag and poke around a bit on the blogs that post in there – most whump blogs talk about why they like whump a fair bit, and there’s a huge amount of variation. The “purity politics” tag on my personal blog has a lot of me being annoyed at people trying to police fiction, but it also has a lot of really good, introspective thoughts on why people like, want, and need darker themes in fiction. Finally, the book “In The Flesh: The Cultural Politics of Body Modification” by Victoria Pitts also touches a bit on similar real-life things, where body modification overlaps with kink and fetish and BDSM things and people’s enjoyment of pain and injury as both a personal thing and public spectacle. (She’s got some fun thoughts on identity that I really liked, too, though that’s for a different discussion.)

Otherwise… Whilst I think it’s good to think critically about what you’re into and how and why, and do the same about what other people are into, I don’t think it’s necessarily great to criticise yourself for what you’re into. (Caveat: this is not me approving of people committing illegal acts irl, just… acknowledging that people usually worry a lot about having “bad” fantasies, when really fantasies rarely hurt anyone, don’t necessarily indicate a desire for something to happen irl, and are rarely as bad / weird / unusual as the person having them thinks.) Think about stuff, but try not to stress, and try to enjoy working out the shape of your brain and what you like. You might be surprised what you find out about yourself in the process.