#any other argument is a block automatically

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma (Part XXIV): "There Has to Be an End"

This part of Essence and Existence is, quite frankly, exhausting, illogical, and lopsided. To solve existing problems, the characters make the worst possible choices without properly addressing or explaining other more reasonable alternatives. Further, the one justification these choices could have had-- Mulder in a state of panic brought on by a flair of fight-or-flight PTSD-- is not only underutilized but shamefully forgotten.

However: this meta is not focusing on the demerits of Season 8's finale; instead, we shall follow the thread of Mulder's choices, their outcomes, and their (too late) retraction. Even though this two-parter bungles its arc and its characters, it also attempts to course-correct its flaws (which is even more frustrating, since the corrective measures are not only in-character but should have been planned and executed from the start.)

A (SINGULAR) HELPING HAND

Scully's car won't budge-- more accurately, it can't: Billy Miles (we are left to assume) has blocked its exit by shoving two cars close to its front and bumper. Mulder and Scully begin to silently panic as he bashes the car backward, forward, and backward again.

"Mulder, lock your door," she says, jamming her fingers down in an automatic motion.

His "I don't think that matters much, Scully" assertion is immediately proven correct: Billy Miles appears from the building, laser-focused on his targets.

They remain like sitting ducks: Scully clinging to the false illusion of safety (i.e. the locked car), Mulder frozen in place as the threat advances (a combination of rational motives-- unable to move his partner quickly to safety-- and irrational reactions-- his freeze response, post here.)

And then Krycek appears, running Billy Miles over with his car and rolling down his window with theatrical aplomb. "We haven't got much time-- get in," he announces; "Let's go!" he repeats when both agents stare back in stunned stupor.

Seeing their pursuer begin to rise from the asphalt, Mulder and Scully flee, she vaulting over the dividing panel in her eager scramble to safety and he steering her from his door to Krycek's backseat.

All three are shut in the escape vehicle and peeling away into the night before Billy-Miles-That-Was stands to his full, posturing height.

THE DESOLATION OF INTELLIGENT LIFE

The next scene is a cornerstone in the insane reasoning (or lack thereof) that guides the rest of the two-parter: Mulder entertaining Krycek's rambling about aliens and God in an effort to find the truth, Mulder and Scully splitting up, Scully willingly driving off with Agent Reyes to hole up in the middle of nowhere.

There's a logical explanation that could have explained most of, though not all, of Mulder's and Scully's and Skinner's and Doggett's decisions and actions: discouragement. We see the signs plainly-- Scully slumping in a chair at the FBI, Scully ripping off the band aid no one wants to touch ("They want my baby-- why?"), Mulder switching into easy belief rather than analytical denial, Skinner pulling the trigger on Krycek, Doggett losing trust in his friends at the Bureau, and other, littler signs. Near hopelessness, grasping at any opportunity to set the world right and make it make sense.

Because the writers don't flesh out those reasons, the goal for each character is lost in a sludge of narrow-minded unfeasibility; and, ultimately, it doesn't matter which particular argument moved the needle or not because Existence erases all of it by killing off Krycek and revealing the baby is a normal miracle and giving Mulder and Scully a happy ending.

Mulder listens to Krycek's grand and glorious surmisings of the aliens' beliefs in the baby, and their fear of its larger meaning-- a sign of God, a miraculous existence, an impossible happening any which way you slice it. He, like his partner, is discouraged: Mulder came back from the dead, resigned from the files, and did his best to move forward; but his efforts weren't enough, not for those who will endlessly take and take and take. And in this sense of defeat, he makes two self-destructive choices: Scully and the baby need to disappear for the birth, and he must be as far away (and ignorant) as possible to not pose a threat to their welfare.

Mulder, in short, knows the Conspiracy-That-Be keeps close tabs on them both; and lopsidedly leaps to the conclusion that he can stay behind-- a distraction--- while Scully sneaks ahead with her life, safe. (The truth is, he needs to move forward with her, a lesson he finally learns at the climax of this episode.)

"Agent Doggett. Get on the phone," he commands, sharp and succinct above everyone's temper. 'If we're going to get Scully out of here we're going to need some help."

And everyone, without a better idea, follows his plan.

Yes, it's a stupid strategy. That aside, why did Mulder decide it was safer for he and Scully to be separated instead of disappearing together?

Although Canon never clearly answers the question, Existence fleetingly touches on a clue: Mulder turns on Doggett when the latter speculates if all the secrecy is worth it ("I'm beginning to think that the fact that I know is going to catch up with me if AD Skinner's any indication.") Snapping ferociously-- panicked-- he demands, "You don't tell anybody where she is. That's the deal, right? Not even me." This leads us to infer two important narrative details:

Mulder not only created a ruse for his partner to escape, but he also considers himself a liability to Scully's safety, unwilling to definitively believe that he won't give up her location if caught or interrogated. That is a startling thought: that Mulder, a man who would rather sacrifice himself than harm his partner, is now denying himself out of that same sacrificial nature in an effort to protect her. That is a new development; that is a juicy insight; that is never touched on ever again.

Mulder placed greater faith in Doggett's circumspection than his own instincts. Perhaps he believed Doggett had greater protection because of his friends inside the FBI; perhaps he believed in Doggett's capabilities after testing them in Vienen and Alone and Essence one-on-on (posts here and here.) Or perhaps it's a lesser of two evils: that Doggett would be a better bet than himself. That, again, is significant; and that, again, is never developed.

These inferences point to characterological changes, ones still in line with his old tendencies-- new branches grafted onto recent bark scars. They inform Mulder's actions in every episode after Deadalive; and materialize unavoidably in Essence and Existence. They are crucial to understanding why he made these idiotic choices-- offshoots of his trauma and reactionary gambles-- but are only examined minutely in the first part and mentioned once in the second.

Doggett and Reyes call up from the ground level: Billy Miles is on his way up-- time for a quick reroute. Thinking on his feet, Mulder decides to enact his role as a distraction... by shoving his pregnant, very wanted partner right into the hands of his sworn nemesis.

The ridiculousness of this scenario isn't just that Mulder shoved his pregnant partner over to Alex Krycek: the group let the latter into their plans; then iced him out from the elevator; then came back and redirected Scully towards him, needing help. They lucked out: if Krycek had had an ace up his sleeve, Scully and her baby would have been handed over to the enemy in three seconds flat.

As a side note: Is it out of the realm of possibility that Mulder and Scully and Skinner and Doggett would trust Krycek in this situation? Perhaps not; and it worked out in this case (to a degree.) But it was a risky maneuver that Mulder wouldn't have committed unless under extreme circumstances, and Scully wouldn't have agreed to unless in the direst of straights-- this was neither. There were many other options he (and Scully) could have resorted to: most obviously, it would be in Mulder's best interest to ferry his partner around, since he knows the FBI's layout more thoroughly than Alex Krycek (theoretically) and would be able to slip away with his partner and Monica Reyes had the chance arisen. And while this plan is one he'd already decided against, it would have been part of his inherent nature to escort her as far as he could, regardless, rather than hand his family over to the backstabber that got both X-Files investigators abducted. This action was not justified; and was corrected extremely late, and to little effect. Poor writing all around.

A drawn out chase scene later, Scully and Reyes escape; and Mulder watches them leave with turmoil in his eyes: relief at the plan's success, anguish at not being able to go with his partner.

MULDER'S JOURNEY FROM REQUIEM

Mulder and Doggett have a pivotal exchange while purity testing the latter's source-- one that is lost amidst the wash of bad writing and bad actions scenes. Which is a shame, as it ties in not only Mulder's long-held beliefs about the Conspiracy and his place in it, but his loss on how to break free.

Doggett, not seeing the difference between an entirely truthful or an untrustworthy informant (in the greater scheme of things) barks out, "What difference does it really make?"-- and Mulder points out, "It doesn't make any difference at all. Unless you want to protect Scully and that baby."

"And then what?" Doggett asks, cutting to the heart of the matter-- the heart of Mulder's journey post-Deadalive. In fact, the heart of Mulder's journey since he and Scully trekked back to Bellefleur: "How long can you keep this up? How long until the next Billy Miles rears his head? The next threat? The next phantom? You ever stop to ask yourself?"

Mulder shifts uncomfortably as the other man continues.

"All the sacrifice, the blood spilled-- you've given nearly a decade of your life. Where is it all going to end?"

There's a longer than usual pause before Mulder softly admits, "I don't know. Maybe it doesn't."

I've gone back and forth on the motel conversation in Requiem (post here)-- its purpose, Mulder's meaning, Scully's response-- but Existence, at least, illuminates what the writers (namely, Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz) meant.

In Requiem, Mulder has been ruminating on Scully's happiness while holding Teresa Hoese's baby when she joins him-- sick and a tad fearful. Both of them connect her abductee status with the Bellefleur case; but only one of them-- Mulder-- is willing to discuss the possibility out loud.

"It's not worth it, Scully," he begins, elaborating his thoughts quietly. "I've been thinking about it. Looking at you tonight, holding that baby... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. A chance for motherhood and your health and that baby. I think that... I don't know, maybe they're right. The FBI. Maybe what they say is true, though for all the wrong reasons. It's the personal costs that are too high. There is so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this. There has to be an end, Scully."

Of note: Mulder concluded his monologue about her losses with "you need to do with your life"-- meaning, Scully needs to break away.

Does that eliminate the possibility that he was planning to step back, too? No-- but the contemplation of his own departure from the files was not as clear-sighted as Scully's. While Mulder was still lost in the realm of theory then, we've seen him use similar, one-sided logic before: in Fight the Future, he "needs" her on this but later tells her to "go be a doctor"; in Amor Fati, he leaves Scully for her own "good" and martyrs himself to a life locked inside his head. Again, that thought process is brought back in Requiem; and Existence pauses for an all-too-brief second to flesh out this reoccurring mindset:

Mulder either hasn't considered walking away from the files, truly, as Doggett posits here; or

Mulder has considered it but sees no way out ("I don't know. Maybe it doesn't.")

Scully can escape-- "Go be a doctor," he insisted in Fight the Future's close; "There has to be an end," he intones in Requiem-- but Mulder believes he cannot. It's no longer a self-sacrificial pursuit (an ugly reality he confronted and overcame in Amor Fati), but it's still no less a chain his parents forged with the Conspiracy through their complicit silence. A chain passed down to the next generation; and one he must break for his own family to live in peace.

(Sidenote: I checked the script-- post here-- and it, too, indirectly confirms that Mulder feels bound to the files. See above.)

How, and when, does he escape?

Existence offers Mulder the way out-- the chance to choose right: abandon the quest and run back to the greater truth, i.e. leave Skinner and Doggett to sort out the mytharc mess and fly as fast as he can to Scully's side. The episode later reinforces that choice as the right one by showing Mulder unlocking Scully's apartment door (post here)-- a pivotal, first-time undertaking that authenticates his new perspective of (and place in) the world-- and holding his normal, everyday miracle while kissing Scully as her equal, loving partner.

"There is so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this. There has to be an end, Scully" transforms into" I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cold or ungrateful. I just... I have no idea where I fit in. Right now"; and finishes a journey of seven years-- a search to find his family and heal them with the truth: "I don't know. Maybe it doesn't"-- with "The truth we both know."

The pieces are there, but not elegantly slotted together-- a missed opportunity for the writers and viewers.

A TOUCH OF TRAUMA

Alex Krycek catches Mulder alone; but before he can complete the kill, Skinner intercepts his efforts and-- after a second's hard deliberation-- sinks a bullet into his skull. The A.D. is freed from Krycek's control.

Mulder spares a lingering glance at his nemesis's body, then shuts out any consideration other than joining Scully-- the decision he should have made from the start. (It's a hacky piece of writing: pretending that Mulder learned a lesson without properly exploring an initial weakness, or sin, and its consequences; but I digress.)

"I'm going to go to the airport. I need that location from Agent Doggett." His face has hardened-- Krycek is dead, and his death was deserved. Mulder will not spare guilt for someone willing to kill his partner or barter over a baby's life.

As he swiftly charges towards the car, Mulder notices Skinner standing in place, still staring down at Krycek's body. His expression shifts again: sharpness melting at the edges in concern.

"Skinner, are you with me?" he asks, eyeing his former boss until the A.D. sweeps his address aside and orders him away ("You just go. I'll get him.") It's an excellent, too-short character beat that could have been more: Mulder recognizing the trauma in someone else and, perhaps, showing what would work for him by offering it to Skinner-- a reversal of their roles in One Breath. But alas, that, too, is a mention-and-gone moment.

TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT

There are many scenes in Existence that serve to tie up old threads-- Agent Doggett's friendship with the super soldiers, Monica Reyes and Scully's misadventure, Krycek's double-dealing downfall and Skinner's revenge, etc.-- but don't slot thematically with this analysis. What does work (and will remain) is Mulder's panic over Doggett's reconsideration-- see above-- and his realization that everyone has been had by his partner's partner's FBI friends.

After Skinner saves his life, Mulder books it to Georgia as fast as possible. And what is the fastest way to get there? A helicopter.

Mulder arrives minutes-- even seconds-- after the big event, jumping from the hovering cabin into the fleet of cars.

Screaming above the retreating vehicles, he yells at Scully's unwanted visitors, demanding to know if they know where she is.

"Mulder!" Agent Reyes yells from the house, intercepting his increasing frenzy with a come-hither motion.

Darting over, he shouts, "How is she?" above the whir of the chopper wings.

"She's inside. She needs to get to a hospital!" Reyes insists, gripping Mulder's arm before he can whizz past.

Alerted, and alarmed, he stares at her face for a split second before rushing into the dark.

All in all, a sorry conclusion to his child's arrival: not only because Mulder wasn't there for the birth, but also because there was a probability that he could have made it in time-- one that was cruelly dashed for another pseudo-anticipatory "Is the baby all right?" question that is answered two scenes later.

THE BRIGHT SIDE TO THIS DISAPPOINTING CLIMAX

To make up for the rugpull of the first three-fourths of Existence's runtime, the writers etched in some bright spots for the characters.

If Mulder must be away for the birth, he was at least present shortly thereafter, able to whisk his family away to a hospital; and Scully and the baby weren't given the indignity of being stuffed back into a car to drive elsewhere for medical care.

Scully, apparently, had no-- or little-- complications. Travel is not recommended after childbirth; and absolutely discouraged after medical complications, e.g. heavy bleeding or a C-section; yet, within days (or a day) after the baby's arrival, his mother was back in Georgetown amidst her cottons and silks, baby powder and balloons. Either she was passengered nearly twelve hours by car back to D.C. or flew an hour and some minutes commercially (or stayed on the helicopter all the way back to the FBI-- you never know, with canon); but, regardless, Scully arrived home on her feet, whole and contented, for the finale conclusion. (Another miracle?) No matter which way the evidence is scrutinized, it all turns in one direction.

And lastly, the baby was born a normal human being: one the Parenti Project extension hoped would be "A perfect human child but with no human frailties" and one the aliens assumed would be a Messianic threat to their Pinky and the Brain schemes for global domination-- and one that proved them wrong on both counts (if we discard Season 9 onward as canon.) Existence's final lines confirmed this hypothesis, as does the thematic throughline of the entire season: miracles through ordinary means-- an infertile woman, pregnant, and a dead man, alive, through science (and some grounded science fiction.) Even if one were to factor in Season 9's magical baby powers, those were completely neutralized (until the Revival erased that plotline, too): a reset back to the original intent, the "normal" status quo-- a child born from Mulder and Scully's partnership, the most ordinary and beloved truth they'd ever known.

CONCLUSION

There is still one last part to go: Mulder has yet to officially meet his child, after all.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[ineffablecabbage]

LOL, one thing that is always going to make me roll my eyes and hit the block button is people going on about how Carter "tried to change" Abby.

Friends. Pals. Buddies. Mortal enemies.

Abby was relapsing. Y'all need to recognize that fact. She claimed otherwise, because lmao that's what addicts do.

Carter, as a fellow addict, fucking knew better. That's the only "change" he wanted out of her.

And he was right, just as she was right to expect him to come clean about swallowing those two Vicodin.

Every day I am a Carby stan, but I am a Carby stan because these are two addicts who held each other accountable and who could understand that specific struggle well. Erasing that to make Abby some poor hapless, pathetic victim of a manipulative Carter is not just pathetically wretched media literacy, it's also the opposite of why I enjoy EITHER charcater.

So nah.

[hungermakesmonsters]

✨️✨️Congratulations on 500 followers✨️✨️ you deserve all the love for creating and writing such beautiful stories and i'm so happy for you 💖💖

Could i ask for a mini scenario where billy and (y/n) having a relationship like sandra bullock and hugh grant in the movie "two weeks notice". So it's basically boss - secretary relationship, but with a dash of romance and i think the movie was so cute abt how well those two work together

I have 2 scene in mind if you allow me to show you: the closet arguing scene and the restaurant scene. The restaurant being my favorite bc they just keep taking and giving food to each other bc maybe one can't eat them, or dislike them and the others just accept it and even taking it without being asked. And that happened so flawlessly fluid motion. I mean the were discussing business yet still taking care of each other's food 😭. And the closet argue are just cute. They were fighting but.. i'm gonna put those two in links and if you don't mind, do see them. Bc they have this cute chemistry in that movie

The closet argument: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6sFQPu4/

The restaurant:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6sF4osY/

They were talking abt business, i can't find the audio for it, but this is the scene. They just take care of each other's food like a second nature. Mind you these two have not start a relationship other than working together as boss-secretary and i just 🫠🫠🫠

Okay, so I have not seen that movie in a REALLY long time (I think probably around the time it came out??) but I tried to really capture the underlying will-they-won't-they vibe. For some reason I always headcanon Billy as being really food driven and being particular about his food, so for him to allow anyone to touch his food is a really big deal for him. Anyway, I hope this lives up to your idea!!

His Smile

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : PG 

Warnings : None, just cuteness  

There was something automatic about the way you were together, probably due to all the time you spent with him. You could anticipate Billy, you knew what he wanted without him having to tell you. Half the time you even found yourself finishing his sentences.

That was just how things were between you. It was simple. Easy. Comfortable.

Of course, there were the jokes that you were like an old married couple from Frank and Karen, but Billy — well, Billy was Billy, and you were just his secretary.

Any feelings you harboured were one-sided, but it was fine. You were fine just being around him, being his secretary and his friend. You were one of the few people he trusted, that he confided in, and that wasn't something to turn your nose up at.

Women would come and go, but you were a permanent fixture in Billy Russo's life.

"I'm starving," he grumbled, eyes fixed on his phone.

You barely looked up from the file you were reading. "It'll be here soon, we only ordered five minutes ago."

He gave a hum and shifted in his seat. If it hadn't been for you, the both of you would still be at Anvil trying to solve the problem you'd found yourselves stuck in. But, fortunately, you'd managed to convince him to relocate to the little burger place just down the block from the office, knowing how cranky he tended to get on an empty stomach.

It wasn't unusual for you to work late, to lose whole evenings at his side working through whatever problems might have presented themselves. And, it was fine. In fact, you love these evenings you got to spend with him.

The moment your food was placed down, you found yourself lifting the bun on your burger to remove the pickles, lettuce and tomato. Without thinking, you placed them on Billy's plate and knocked the bun from his burger to take his red onions.

"I can't see a way around it," you said, "I think you're going to have to take on additional operators if you're wanting to keep up with the work load."

"I know," he answered, "but the budget..."

He didn't have to finish the comment for you to know exactly what he was trying to say. Profitability was on a knife's edge and adding more paid operators would mean more contracts but, for the time being, a much smaller return.

"The only other option is to lose the other contracts," you shrugged. "Or risk leaving current missions understaffed."

Billy barely looked up from the spreadsheet on his phone as he reached for the sauce, squeezing a healthy dollop of mayo on your fries before coating his own in ketchup.

You both started to eat, his fork finding its way to your plate to scoop up some coleslaw, knowing how much you hated it. You couldn't help but smile at that, glad that it was gone.

"The other option is temps," you said before taking a bite from you burger, your eyes still fixed on your paperwork. "Loan some guys from another company."

"That'll cost more."

As he spoke, you reached across the table to relieve him of one of his onion rings, knowing he had no intention of eating them. You weren't sure when or how you'd realised that Billy didn't care for onions, just like you weren't sure when he found out that you hated coleslaw. You just knew.

You knew him.

You knew each other.

You spared him a glance, only to find that he was already looking at you, a soft smile on his lips that had your cheeks instantly starting to warm. Then his eyes quickly dropped, seeming almost embarrassed that you'd caught him looking.

"You could outsource? Let a small firm take the contract for a percentage of the fee?" You offered.

Billy hummed as he chewed on his burger, and you decided not to say any more. He needed to eat — you already knew that he'd skipped lunch, and the thought of him going hungry just made you feel uncomfortable.

While you ate, you both continued to read through your respective work. You reached for another onion ring from his plate, while he started to help himself to your fries once his own were gone.

Dessert was a similar affair.

Billy took the cherry from the top of your pie, while you exchanged his scoop of chocolate ice cream for your scoop of vanilla, leaving him with two scoops of vanilla. Again, you weren't sure when you'd found out that Billy didn't care for chocolate ice cream, but it was one of the things about him that always had you rolling your eyes.

Still, once you'd both finally finished eating, he looked a lot better — still tired, as if he needed a proper night of sleep, but he didn't look unfocused and hungry anymore.

You looked up and caught him smiling at you again only, this time, he didn't look away. In fact, he reached for you, his thumb brushing over your lower lip before he seemed to realise what he was doing and pulled back.

"You had, uh — there was ice cream," he said by way of explanation.

"Oh," was all you managed to say in response, cheeks starting to burn despite the two scoops of ice cream you'd just eaten.

"I'm going to head back to the office, see if I can get this sorted," Billy said, shrugging his coat back on.

You knew he was offering you a way out — it was late and you knew he wouldn't blame you if you wanted to call it a night and go home — but you shook your head. There was nowhere else you'd rather be than by his side.

Pulling your own coat on, you just smiled at him, "we'll see if we can get this sorted."

Billy's lips pulled into a smile again, that strange little smile that had butterflies swarming in your stomach and made you wonder if your little crush was really as one-sided as you thought.

One day, you told yourself, one day you were going to kiss him on those lips and potentially ruin everything.

One day, you were going to find out what that smile really meant.

But not tonight, not now.

[verysium]

I’ve been seeing some discourse around twitter about the blue lock boys and whether they’d be a loyal bf or not 😭 Curious to know who do you think would be more inclined to cheat or who just wouldn’t at all!!!

I saw someone say sae would 100% cheat like whattt I feel like he wouldn’t even bother looking at anyone else if he already has someone (Cuz I mean dating him would likely mean you actually mean something to him) but I digress

ok anon you had me pulling up a whole argumentative essay here cus WHO TF SAID SAE WOULD 100% CHEAT??? 😔 that mischaracterization is so painfully inaccurate. twitter really took the whole emotionally unavailable itoshi archetype and ran with it. let me just clear the air here because my man deserves some explanation.

sae itoshi would not cheat. as in capital N and capital O. he took nearly an entire decade off his life just to work on his own issues and finally form a functional and healthy relationship with another human being. and you're telling me he's just going to let all that wash down the drain for someone else? 😒 twitter logic really be showing its illogical side here. apparently a man can be loyal to a professional sports career for eighteen years, but he can't be loyal to his significant other.

i think this misunderstanding probably happened cus of shidou. people read the manga and saw that sae dropped rin for a bug-eyed freak and automatically assumed he was disloyal. 😑 let me just say two things here:

(1) sae and shidou's relationship is strictly professional. imagine being stuck in an god awful corporate office with coworkers who bore you with their weaponized incompetence and a boss who annoys the living shit out of you. and then one day, the company hires a new recruit who is probably the most unhinged and debauched creature known to man. you're probably left wondering how he even got hired in the first place. but then you find out...he's useful. he takes risks and gets a high return on what he invests. it's impulsive and stupid, really. but at least it's unconventional and outside-the-box. he has your interest piqued. that's basically sae and shidou in a nutshell.

(2) just because sae gave shidou his number after the u-20 game does NOT mean he would do the same to any other person who would try to encroach on your relationship. and let's be real here. sae would get one text from shidou and block his contact.

anyways, here is my analysis on the bllk boys in general. introducing the anti-cheating to pro-cheating spectrum:

(A) cannot cheat under any circumstance (as in they already hate the fact that they live on a planet with 8.1 billion other people who are not you):

itoshi brothers (atp they don't even have the physical or mental capacity to entertain a third party), ness, reo

(B) cannot cheat due to physical incapability (literally cannot pull anyone within a five-meter radius to cheat with):

ego, igarashi, raichi, bachira (not that he's in any way unattractive...it's just...i feel like he would purposefully act weird to drive off people who aren't you)

(C) could not cheat (basically option A and B but less problematic version)

yukimiya, barou, kunigami, noa, loki, gagamaru, chigiri, niko, hiori, karasu (baby boy literally felt inferior cus his crush was the cutest in his class), kurona (head empty, just you)

(D) would not cheat (on you but everyone else is not included)

isagi (unintentionally a homewrecker to others but would never let anyone homewreck his relationship with you), leonardo (idk why but i just don't trust him entirely)

(E) could cheat (depends on what they get out of it):

kaiser, shidou (honestly what did you expect when you willingly dated a blonde man...)

(F) would cheat (either proven by canon or they accidentally fucked up somehow):

otoya, oliver, nagi

[reidologyphd]

The BAU members Godly Parents

I love Percy Jackson and Criminal Minds so i'm mashing them together :) this will be a long one so i'll do the hiding thingy but a warning, i realised too late i forgot Elle and Matt :( sorry guys

CABIN ONE - ZEUS

Jason Gideon

he is a natural leader, people follow his orders even if they have authority over him

he can be very tempermental and critical

while the bau was made by him AND rossi he feels very much like the guy, ya know?

CABIN THREE - POSEIDON

Luke Alvez

honestly this is mostly vibes but he gives me major adult percy vibes?

like easy going and laid back until you mess with those he loves

and when you go for his family you better pray to the gods

also another personal thing but he looks like he'd smell like the sea

fiercely loyal

CABIN FOUR - DEMETER

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau

cares very much for family

I feel like she has this untapped rage that I wish we saw more

she has let her personal experiences and her family cloud her judgement (I don’t see this as a flaw)

Kate Callahan

also very family oriented

as far as I remember all of her plots revolved around her family? (Meg, her sister, her being pregnant because jlh was pregnant irl)

she absolutely would turn the world into eternal winter if someone kidnapped one of her children

CABIN FIVE - ARES

Derek Morgan

this man has so much passion. Like I could make an argument for Aphrodite but I chose ares ultimately

while he is gentle soul at heart I find he is the quickest to become hotheaded and angry out of the team

he thrives on the thrill of the chase and does not ever have a career outside of ‘fighting bad guys’

Aaron Hotchner

absolute thrill seeker but hides it behind a stoic facade

ambitious as all hell and as stated in 1x5 ‘Broken Mirror’ will step on anyone to get where he wants to be

while a very family oriented man also he was never able to prioritise his family over the ‘war’ they’re fighting

I could write a whole essay on this ngl

CABIN SIX - ATHENA

Spencer Reid

do we even need to talk about this one?

I know he’s multifaceted and a nerd isn’t automatically a child of Athens but it’s the fact he loves learning and collecting PHD’s just for fun

he values wisdom and intellect so much I’m sure he’d marry it if he could.

I also just associate this brand of person with awkwardness/social ineptitude. Because things are obvious and clear to them they sometimes forget to factor in the emotional consequences or implications of certain things.

also he has a massive vocabulary and can describe any emotion to you but he cannot recognise when he’s feeling them

Alex Blake

honestly much the same as Spencer

a difference between them is that I think she tries to shove down her emotions because she sees them as pesky and inconvenient, rather than not feeling them

like despite Spencer being like her child she didn’t mention Ethan until one of her final episodes

CABIN SEVEN - APOLLO

Penelope Garcia

i'm focusing less on the medicine side of things and more the creativity because look at her

and in the Riordanverse Apollo is portrayed as... idealistic rather than predatory when it comes to love which i think lends itself well to Penelope's borderline toxic positivity and her insistence on seeing the good in people

she can be seen as obnoxious and loud (never to me though) and most definitely had a theatre kid phase, all of which i think goes hand in hand with being a child of Apollo

CABIN NINE - HEPHAESTUS

Stephen Walker

i'll be honest i don't remember Stephen that well so if this is wrong my bad king

as far as i remember he was perfectly nice if not a little solitary and was pulled in especially since he fit a specific need for finding scratch, like he was a specific part of the blue print?

pretty sure he was also part of a specific task force before and was like a building block there too?

i'm sorry king

CABIN TEN - APHRODITE

Tara Lewis

other than being absolutely g o r g e o u s

i feel like she has a lot of passion and drive but it's shown in a more subtle way and she likes to hide it with her intellect

i also think importantly she enjoys her femininity in a way that say Penelope or JJ don't (not to say those two aren't feminine, they just don't connect with it like tara does?). she's very much 'wears a stilleto to stab you with it' kind of woman, even if she doesn't express that as much

i also think she can be quite emotionally constipated in relationships and such in a way a child of Aphrodite might be because they're used to the flirting and chasing but then don't know how to maintain the relationship

Ashley Seaver

once again don't remember much about this queen but she is stunning

i feel like it's a very child of Aphrodite experience to be looked over and dismissed because of their looks and the two main things discussed with Seaver is that she's pretty and her dad is who he is

she is also very Piper coded in that she resents that femininity and the pigeon hole it puts her in and wants to be recognised for her own merits and achievements rather than her looks.

Piper and Ashley also both have famous dads, albeit for different reasons

CABIN ELEVEN - HERMES

Emily Prentiss

she is a nomad!!! she doesn't stay in the same place for too long!!!

while i am obsessed with the woman she is very adept at trickery and bending the truth, something children of Hermes are good at too

is home for those around her and has no shortage of love to give her friends because she sees her friends as her home too

it just fits

CABIN TWELVE - DIONYSUS

David Rossi

this one just fits for me too the man loves alcohol

he does love his family more but i don't that precludes him from being a child of Dionysus

he does also kill a man so i feel like that qualifies as having the madness, ya know?

not much to say this one just comes from the soul

CONGRATS!!! you made it to the end!!!! as a little treat if you made it this far i love you and i think elle would be a hunter of artemis, i'm really not sure about Matt

discussion is wanted and encouraged!!!

[starlitangels]

Redacted Boi Social Media Headcanons

Vincent only really uses Instagram, but is required by the Department to have it private because his human name is legally missing-presumed-dead and his face has a risk of being recognized if someone from his human life stumbled upon his Instagram. That said, he doesn't really screen people who request to follow him

Darlin' and Sam don't use any social medias. Darlin' has a Facebook from teenage years, but they deactivated it. But not fully deleted, so they can still be tagged in all the group photos posted to the pack page. In high school, Darlin' was the person who got a lot of unsolicited DMs because they were hot but they hate attention so they blocked everyone but their pack and deactivated. Darlin' reluctantly keeps their Discord for the pack server

David hates social media. He maintains the pack's private Facebook group and Discord server (though the latter is really more Asher's job, David's just in charge) but will not touch anything else. David's favorite social media is YouTube because he can lookup tutorials for anything and not have to ask anyone for help

Milo's a borderline Instagram influencer. He's got a gazillion followers (who all think he's hot, and he is). His Instagram is directly linked to his Facebook, so every picture and caption he puts on IG gets automatically posted to FB too

Marie comments only on Milo's Facebook (she has and kinda uses IG, but doesn't comment). She's the one that will leave the heartfelt comments with "Call me" at the end. She knows that's a meme among younger people that their older relatives leave "what a beautiful couple. Call me" comments, but she does it anyway. And guess what? She does it because it works. Milo👏 is👏a👏Mama's👏Boy👏 and he will call her when she leaves those comments

Asher doesn't use social media much, but is perpetually on Discord. He mods the pack's server, and like 6 others just for fun. He does post lots of pictures of Babe and selfies of the two of them together on the pack's Facebook though

Damien used to get into arguments on Twitter with randos. Huxley thinks it's funny to pull them up from when Damien was a teenager

Huxley was never much into most social medias but I like to think he'd be like that one TikTok dude who pops up on my Tumblr dash occasionally who explains how to do calisthenics and other workout stuff in a really simple, easy, modified way for people who are just getting started. People started following him because he's hot, and then realized he's actually like the nicest dude and doesn't know he's popular

Lasko's a Tumblr boy. I'm not taking constructive criticism on this

Gavin refuses to get an Instagram because he knows he'd get too addicted to it. He knows he's ridiculously good-looking and would amass a following supernaturally fast, and that's why he won't. But he has his old Facebook from when it first started to be popular. He got rid of all his old friends list and now just has Freelancer, Huxley, Lasko, Damien, and a handful of d(a)emon friends who also have Facebooks like Crux

Avior doesn't have any social media at all

Neither does Caelum and Gavin and Freelancer have decided not to expose him to the negativity of the internet

Vega refuses

Cam keeps a few things for professional purposes, but doesn't use them much

Guy is a Tumblrina. Guy is a Tumblrina. Guy is a Tumblrina. Guy is

Aaron's favorite is LinkedIn. This is a joke.

Elliott uses Pinterest a lot for aesthetic inspiration for dreams. He doesn't use much else

Blake is on like every social media all the time. Mostly for CloseKnit. But he also stalked Bestie from afar for a long time

James had to get rid of all of his when his job started getting more secretive and he had to have limited contact with the rest of the world

Morgan doesn't have any social media just as a way to keep himself and his magic safe. The Department protections didn't require it, but he thought it was for the best

Porter totally isn't jealous that Vincent has a higher IG follower count than him and his account isn't even private. He's always trailing like 20 behind

[utilitycaster]

I may have mentioned this phrase before, but I was introduced to "would anyone be swayed by further discussion" in college to put an end to debates where people simply would not agree and (in that case) to just put it to a vote or make the decision that was being discussed. The thing is, on the internet there's not the same impetus to wrap it up already because we're doing this all asynchronously and aren't actually people who need to work together in the first place, and so two differing opinions can endlessly sling mud without real consequence, and I think the discourse has reached the point of "you're stupid" "no you're stupid", and to be clear, I have participated heavily.

I don't actually mind if the discourse remains that way, for reasons that will become apparent in the course of this post, but here's what I propose: this isn't the kind of discussion that vagueing forever can solve. It requires actual back and forth with opportunities for requests for more information (eg: if I'm not understanding the themes of this campaign, what are they, in your own words, and how are they being demonstrated throughout the course of the campaign) and a cessation of ad hominems and at least the appearance of an assumption of good faith on both sides.

Here is the other thing, though: it is my hypothesis that most people posting about why they don't like Campaign 3 are in earnest: they don't like Campaign 3, they are articulating why (perhaps imperfectly! perhaps even incorrectly, in your eyes), and that's that. I think the people complaining about those people, ultimately, are mad that their personal preferences aren't shared by all. Or, to descend back into the mud for a moment: I think when I call you an idiot it hurts your feelings, and when you call me an idiot I say "Likely thing for an idiot to do." I think if the discourse continues, anyone who dislikes Campaign 3 will keep posting and say "wow it's a little annoying that people keep complaining about me expressing my opinion but them's the breaks, I know what I'm about" and the people complaining about those posts are simply going to feel worse and worse, no matter how much they yell about the other side's stupidity, because what they really want is agreement and validation. In other words, there's a pretty clear advantage, because one side doesn't rely on the good opinion or really any actions of the other. Or in the words of what I consider to be a far superior campaign, you need me more than I need you.

So with that in mind. If you'd like to make a good faith attempt to convince me of Campaign 3's excellence (and I can only speak for myself but if anyone else wants to do this, be my guest), my inbox is open [note: if you're doing this, you'll need to be off anon as I'm not carrying on a discussion via 20 annoying asks that clog everyone's dash - we're using replies], you can @ me, and if you are blocked and you're someone who does not have a specific history of direct harassment of which I'm aware, have a friend message me and I'll unblock you for the duration of this discussion. Ad hominems in the course of this specific discussion constitutes an immediate failure on behalf of the person saying them. The focus is on the text of Campaign 3; bringing in external circumstances as supporting information is valid if relevant but I hope it's obvious that "WELL IT'S THEIR CAMPAIGN AND IT'S ENTITLED TO CRITICIZE A THING THEY KNOWINGLY PUT ON THE INTERNET" is an automatic forfeiture as well due to the utter lack of argument and the fact that I cannot be swayed of the belief that little is above criticism and even less above judgement. Otherwise, I'll leave your posts and inbox alone while saying whatever the hell I want and you can deal with that accordingly. You want to make this an actual discussion of literary criticism in which you need to structure arguments and provide evidence instead of yelling "but I like it and I think it's brilliant so you have to agree with me or you're a mean anti-intellectual [broadly despised group]"? Sure. I can do that. I think most people who agree with me can also do that and would love to.

(this is nonrebloggable because I don't think it needs to spread, but feel free to link it. Also, I hope it's obvious: yes I'm aware I sound like an anime villain; it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to either elevate the discussion to the point where something can get done; or call your bluff and keep doing what I was doing)

[this-mask-truly-is-a-miracle]

(Posting this on my reblogging acc because I dont want this to clog my main)

debunking posts from wonkytoon’s supporters

1. Speedy is not a pedo. To my knowledge there’s 0 evidence suggesting they are one?? The acc impersonating speedy randomly claimed it out of the blue and for some reason you guys are running with it. If I somehow missed evidence, feel free to prove me wrong.

2. Archie is not a pedo. Your “evidence” is a post archie made about layton protecting luke by hugging him or something along the lines of that. That post was meant in an entirely familial way. There is nothing about that post that is pedophilic, nor does it have pedophilic connotations. Plus, lots of the layton fandom like the idea of layton being a dad to luke. I dont know why you’re so pressed when archie does it too specifically. Furthermore, if you see an innocent post like that and instead of going “aww yeah layton’s the best dad ever” your mind goes to “that person is a pedophile” then you’re actually Really Weird. No offense.

3. Jester is not a pedo. Your first piece of “evidence” is their lovely drawing of luke and layton hugging which, i’ll say it again, was meant in an entirely familial way. Nothing in that drawing or post is pedophilic nor are there any pedophilic connotations. The fact you thought it was pedophilic is concerning. Your other piece of “evidence” was them @ ing archie and saying “you /affectionate” which ?? I dont see how this is pedophilic? This is just Jester saying they want to hug archie. They’re friends. Literally nothing wrong with that. Not pedophilic

4. wdym vulnerable cutesy child bs ?? showing true colors?? 😭😭 are you referencing their moots liking layton and luke interacting?? i’ll say it again, lots of the layton fandom like the idea of layton being a dad to luke or them having a familial connection. there is nothing pedophilic about this.

1. I could make the same argument about you towards speedy, for example. You didnt even get to know speedy, instantly claimed they were a groomer, told them to kill themselves. Also, someone’s personality doesn’t automatically dictate their actions. Someone can be kind but still be a dick. Someone can be angry 24/7 but be generous. The people who blocked wonky used their own judgement, whether you think it’s right or wrong.

2. I’m not gonna comment on whether the allegations against wonky are true or not because frankly, I don’t care about the drama. I’m more concerned about the cyberstalking of my mutuals.

3. By “politely correcting” do you mean calling someone an autistic slack of shit?

1. Already addressed speedy, archie, and jester not being groomers. Also don’t see how they’re manipulative?

2. Not commenting on the allegations. What I will comment on is the fact that I don’t know why you’re sitting here waiting for an apology from archie like he’s suddenly going to have a change of heart, forget all of the death threats he’s received, unblock wonky and apologize? There was a way better way to go about this if you wanted him to take back everything he said about wonky. Also, there’s lots of evidence to suggest you guys are all of her alts. I wouldn’t want to apologize to someone like that.

3. Not commenting on wonky’s innocence. I will not deny the fact that if I was in wonky’s shoes, I’d be pissed. However, this is not a justifiable reason for wonky to allow her supporters to cyberstalk speedy and archie for so long when both speedy and archie have already moved on from this drama.

4. No one is victimizing themselves here. Every single screenshot people have posted where one of wonky’s supporters have DMed them telling them hurtful comments is 100% real. So are the mass “kys” reblogs. People are not sharing all of these to make wonky look “bad.” They’re sharing this to spread awareness.

1. Already addressed jester not being a pedo. This paragraph is just straight up bullying?? Tracing is not a bad thing on it’s own. Jester has never plagiarized and has always given credit to the original bases. The /affectionate thing is just jester saying they want to hug archie. They are friends. This has no pedophilic connotation, nor should it be interpreted as pedophilic connotation.

2. You’re saying jester can’t talk to minors because they’re an adult, so this would be “pedophilic behavior.” By this logic, wonky is a pedo for DMing my friend (kenny), because she’s an adult and he’s a minor. See how messed up and stupid this sounds?

1. No comment about wonky’s innocence.

2. At this point, wonky must have seen you guys telling speedy and archie to kill themselves. She hasn’t said a single thing about this, nor has she told you guys to stop. This implies that wonky is directly condoning these actions, which is really shitty for a supposedly “nice” person!!!

3. Defending someone from allegations shouldn’t include making 3 different alt accounts to cyberstalk the same person. (referencing chaoskingle 6th, 7th, 8th) Your means might be innocent, but your actions are not.

The last paragraphs are talking about people who I do not have knowledge about/i have no idea who she’s talking about, so I’m not saying anything about that because frankly I’m not in the place too.

[gwydionmisha]

Originally, they announced they were shutting it because the judge told them they had to stop mining your private data. Stay noisy. It matters.

Ya Think?

So the argument is, if you complain because you need your social security money for rent, electricity, etc. and they stole it, you are a fraudster who doesn't deserve it, and if you are rich enough not to need it so you wait and don't complain you doesn't need it and shouldn't get it, therefore no one should get the social security payments they earned and need to survive.

Welcome to Catch 22.

see also, this is why people who have never been actually poor in their lives should be allowed into positions of power where they can do this kind of harm.

NOTE: I am completely fucked if my check doesn't come. They start assessing late fees for housing after seven days. The Bank fee for this auto-withdraw will likely overdraw my account. No gas, no electricity. My insurance will try to auto-withdraw mid-month causing bank fees to continue to grow exponentially. I am contractually required to have insurance on my apartment. I can't cancel it. I can't drive without gas or car insurance and I am disabled with very limited mobility. A bus pass costs about a months gas an requires lots of walking I can't do or someone else doing a lot of walking pushing my in a chair because my arms are fucked too.

No supplemental food or medical supplies or cleaning stuff or toilet paper or things the cats absolutely need. No credit card or other bill payments.

Not paying any bills for one month would dig me into a hole I could never get out of. With all the staff cuts and closures, how many months would it take to get reinstated? Will I automatically be labelled a fraudster and be denied reinstatement for the crime of being to poor to float all my bills for months?

I beg of you complain and/or protest now. People will die.

If you can't safely contact them in person, here are some other options:

Five Calls to your critters: https://5calls.org/

Here is one that will send your reps a fax: https://resist.bot/

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Rob Rogers

* * * *

In praise of the what if, whatever, and why not of doubt

Lucian K. Truscott IV

Oct 17, 2024

I’ll just bet you haven’t heard the term, “fatal funnel.”  Can you imagine what it might be?  I mean, try to form an image in your mind of a funnel, any kind of funnel, like the one you might have used to pour oil into your car’s engine, or even a waffle ice cream cone with the small end removed.  Now try to figure out how you would make a thing called a “funnel” deadly.

I’ll bet you can’t.  But I want you to know, there are a lot of people who can.  Some of them bought militia manuals and bomb-making videos that a man by the name of Christopher Arthur published online through a company he called Tackleberry Solutions.  One of the manuals was called, “The End of America or the Next Revolutionary War.”  According to an ABC News story published today, Christopher Arthur believed that, “the U.S. was falling into chaos and there would be only one way to survive: kill or be killed.” 

Arthur is an Army combat veteran of the war in Iraq and a member of the National Guard.  He was found guilty of teaching people to make improvised explosive devices intended to kill police officers and for possessing bombs and bomb-making materials inside and around his home in Mount Olive, North Carolina.  His wife and five children lived in the home where he stored the bombs.  One bomb was on his porch under an overturned plastic tub where his children played.  It was wired to a trigger that would set it off if police ever approached his house to arrest him.  A judge gave Arthur 20 years in prison, the maximum allowed by law.

A fatal funnel is a tactic taught by Arthur to prospective militia members who visited his North Carolina farm for training sessions.  The tactic is intended to trap attackers by funneling them into a smaller and smaller space until they can be shot and killed by a small untit or single shooter.  Joshua Blessed stayed at Arthur’s farm and slept on a cot in his kitchen.  During the day, Arthur and Blessed would go out into the surrounding woods to shoot automatic weapons and practice bomb making and military tactics. 

Blessed was a truck driver.  According to ABC News, weeks after training with Arthur in North Carolina, Blessed was stopped for speeding in his truck on a road between Rochester and Buffalo in upstate New York.  An argument with the police officer ensued, and Blessed drove off with the officer still standing on his truck’s running board.  During the chase that followed, Blessed fired at pursuing police cars until he finally turned his truck to block a narrow highway off-ramp with the truck’s trailer and cab in a V-shape.  Blessed fired from the cab at officers until one of the officers managed to get around to the other side of the truck.  Surprised, Blessed drove off, followed by the police cars.  Finally, they forced his truck onto a farm road where they had set up a police ambush and fired at the truck cab as he sped by.  The truck crashed into a ditch, and officers found Blessed dead in the driver’s seat with a bullet through his head.  Five police vehicles had been struck by bullets fired by Blessed. Forty police officers in all were involved in the chase. 

Blessed had been trying to form a militia group called “The Army of God” to prepare for an “upcoming Civil War,” according to the FBI’s field office in Richmond, Virginia.  ABC reported that officers found in Blessed’s truck after the chase “two how-to explosives and military tactics manuals for which he had paid $850 from Arthur’s Tackleberry Solutions. They would find $125,000 in cash, 14 live pipe bombs, an AK-47 with a scope, a .50-caliber rifle, a sniper rifle and tens of thousands of dollars in ammunition.”

The FBI finally arrested Christopher Arthur after an undercover officer witnessed and secretly recorded Arthur teaching others, including the undercover officer, to make improvised explosive devices.  Arthur described to the undercover officer how he would kill the governor of a state: “Say it’s a whole walled-off gated house. The governor’s mansion. Alright, how do I attack him? Well, he’s going to have to leave to go to the Capitol at some point, right?  I know if I can put a round right there in the base of the windshield where it meets the dashboard. I’ll hit him. So is the sniper hit better? Yes.”  According to the undercover FBI man, Arthur’s wife and children were nearby in the yard working in a garden and talking about school when the assassination instruction took place.

Twenty years in prison.  A heavily armed truck driver killed after a chase by 40 cops on a public highway.  Hundreds convicted of criminal trespass and violence against police officers at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, people Donald Trump among whom included himself at a town hall yesterday on the Univision Network when he used the word, “we.”

“We didn’t have guns. The others had guns, but we didn’t have guns,” Trump said. “That was a day of love.”

Please allow me to tell you what the difference is between politics and a gun.  With a slight depression of your finger on a trigger, a gun can kill, meaning a gun can end the life of another human being.  Politics can affect you.  Politics can change what you pay in taxes, or what speed you are allowed to drive on your local streets or an interstate highway, or whether your trash is picked up once or twice a week.  Politics can be confusing and infuriating.  Policy arguments and political contests can be won or lost, but the results are not forever.

When politics and guns merge, civil war is the result.  Six hundred thousand Americans died between 1861 and 1865 because of a political argument over the issue of slavery.  The difference between the South and the North was that the South was willing to kill and be killed in order to maintain the right to own other human beings as slaves.  The political argument ended when the first shot was fired. 

Wars are absolute.  Winning and losing means life or death.  But politics in this country is not a fatal funnel, narrowing it down to “us” and “them,” making it as absolute as warfare. 

They used to call politics the battlefield of ideas.  One of our two political parties has decided that its politics is existential, that it is a battlefield where being “right” conveys absolute power given by God.  Winning in this kind of politics means the rule of law can be superseded by force, allowing the National Guard and active duty Army to be employed against those who were “wrong.”  One of our two political candidates has recently threatened to do just this if he is elected.  Such a right to retribution comes only from belief in self, not in laws that are agreed upon as greater than oneself.

Our other political party has more doubts than beliefs.  Doubt allows for the possibility of loss in the way that science assures us of the inevitability of our own deaths.  We know the sun will come up in the morning because we have experience in day and night that dates back to the opening of our eyes as infants.  We have no such experience with certainty.  It is a belief system, an illusion invented in hopes of personal gain. 

How does “whatever” win out over “must be”?  By realizing that right and wrong are temporal, part of the natural ebb and flow of living on this planet, as floods and fires and earthquakes are as much a part of the weather of existence as the birth of a child or the death of a loved one.

We are here.  One day, we won’t be, and there will be others who come after us.  Then politics will belong to them.  That is the difference between belief, which seeks to fix a certain future, and doubt, which allows for the inevitability of change. 

[Lucian Truscott Newsletter]

[sokkastyles]

Whenever I see anti-zutara posts, I honestly feel anxious and because I have intrusive thoughts it worsens my anxiety, so I get worried if they're right. Sometimes I feel like deleting my blog and now that I have gotten messages telling me to off myself I want to lie low but also it is not really stopping me from posting just more stressed to do so. So how do you handle these antis and people who send you hate messages without feeling anxious?

If it really bothers you to see those kinds of posts, I would recommend filtering the relevant tags. I try to tag any posts with negativity that I reblog as "the discourse" so you can block that tag if those posts stress you out to see.

I'm sorry people are sending you those messages. Just know that even if they are "right," nothing justifies sending you harassing messages, so you automatically have the high ground here. Nobody who acts that way towards you over fictional characters has a right to tell you about your own morals.

There's actually not really anything anyone can say about zutara that would make it wrong to ship them, but even if there was, you don't have to answer to anyone else about why you ship something. I actually have a lot of ships in other fandoms that would be considered much worse, but I literally do not care what other people think about what I ship, or how I engage in fiction. It's not for them to decide things about me based on what I ship. But as ships go, zutara is actually very tame in the world of "problematic" ships. And I'm old enough that I've seen many of the same arguments used against ships that are much darker on the spectrum, so when people use the same arguments to discredit zutara it just kind of makes me laugh.

What I recommend you to do to combat these things, for your own mental health, is to try not to get involved in arguments. Block the relevant tags and users if you have to. And read widely. Expose yourself to a lot of different media and you'll see that 1) the world is much bigger than antis think it is, and 2) that negative people will apply the same arguments over and over again. That doesn't mean you have to listen to them.

[tabl3]

opinions on lrmmef ships?

oh boy

any ship that involves siblings (including step/adopted) together, children and adults, or anything like that is automatically disgusting and the only one I would ever block someone for. don't care about arguments. dni with me. the end of that. also will not include aj/kyle, or daniel. because. those are literal prepubescent kids. which i am not. and respectfully, talking about teenagers is toeing the line enough for me lol. no one below 17 (in my version)

sure :D

no hate to any of these!! (besides above. if I have to explain why, go to therapy)

lab rats:

janelle/leo: cute but a highschool puppy love thing (although I do like janelle very much)

leo/taylor: i like it! originally the direction i was going to go (for a few months) but I switched bc I wanted leo to have a gay crisis and I also like logan

leo/kaz: nah. they're too best friend, can't imagine them being attracted to each other

leo/logan: cuties. canon to the rewrite

adam/owen: adam is permanently aromantic/asexual to me, but nothing wrong with it. don't know of any other adam ships but my point goes to all

bree/any of her exes: just that, highschool romance (although her with ethan was cute)

bree/caitlin: nope. too toxic

bree/taylor: i like brylar and even teo much more but also!! could be cute

chase/any one-off girls: boring

chase/jake: i like to think he was chase's bi awakening lol

chase/taylor: her saying he's cute is fun, but they barely interact at all sooo

chase/sebastian: could've been cute but sebastian did his sebastian things. also in my version it was really bad

any marcus ships (including ef ones): nope. for me I typically ship people who have interacted. which is why I don't ship marcus with anyone, including oliver

donald/tasha: they were actually kind of cute early on. then the sitcom curse struck.

douglas/tasha: lil weird tbh. i guess if donald is removed??? but to me they're just close friends

douglas/krane: absolutely happened

douglas/giselle: i love how pathetic he is lmao, this is a fine one (esp as college exes)

douglas/perry: someone help him. no for me

mighty med:

any combination of kaz,oliver, and skylar: no problem with these, but I personally don't ship any. they're all too "best friends who would never have a relationship work" coded to me. oliver had a crush on skylar, kaz had one on oliver, and skylar thought she had one on oliver, but all fizzled out pretty easily (in my version). also skylar is the most lesbian ever. also also if we're talking my version oliver is straight and kaz is gay. so. couldn't happen lol. once again no hate! :) ship what you want (as long as it's not gross)

oliver/jordan: sibling energy. maybe they had fleeting middle school crushes or smth. but overall nah

oliver/gus: keep gus away from everyone with a 10 ft pole (I like gus I swear)

oliver/alan: no

oliver/stephanie: probably also a small crush on his part, nothing came of it

kaz/spark: toxic. nope

kaz/jordan: even more sibling energy. also he's a gay man (it's true I actually wrote the script)

kaz/gus: refer to previous

kaz/stephanie: i think he was "into" her to hide the oli crush lol

kaz/experion: if experion wasn't himself perhaps

kaz/alan: no

skylar/jordan: for me, no. i don't see the chemistry lol. if you like it more power to ya

skylar/gus: ik he's a kid but shit dude no one let him talk to women until he's 30

skylar/experion: all calderans are basically siblings in my version

skylar/stephanie: i definitely see the appeal. i way prefer brylar, but no problems with this one

skylar/alan: that's her cousin

the has to interact rule goes out the window w the heroes bc they don't matter enough for it to be implausible lmao

tecton/solar flare: meh, not bad but also not good

tecton/megahertz: enemies to lovers <3 canon in my rewrite

solar flare/blue tornado: not for me

solar flare/gamma girl: pretty sure i pioneered this ship lol, love some badass wives fighting crime. canon to my rewrite

blue tornado/snowstorm: also made this one. hyperactive gf x calm bf, love them. canon to my rewrite

horace/bridget: were cute, oh well 💀

horace/douglas: in a universe that isn't mine (where brylar is canon and those are their fathers)

elite force:

chase/kaz: adore (obviously) canon to rewrite

chase/oliver: they're too similar imo, also i think chase sees him like he does leo: nerdy lil brother. also also their need for being correct would be disastrous lol

chase/skylar: i do get the appeal of this one. skylar's too gay for a ship with a man though

chase/reese: i MADE them cute before she betrayed him. in my version, sure. in ef, no

also my favorite crackship from my rewrite is experion/chase. read inquisition lol

bree/skylar: adore x2. canon to my rewrite

bree/kaz: kaz is too gay as well, i'm sorry. also they have a sibling relationship in the show. very much big sister tired of little brother lol

bree/oliver: they could be cute. however i wouldn't imagine them making it a month 💀

roman/scarlet: my creation again, i enjoy them greatly

i think that covers it??? lmk if I missed any

[spiritedstars]

Bouquet Full of Loathing [ Elucien ]

Inspired by: this  and the Flower Shop Modern AU - Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?” | Originally posted on my previous blog on 10.01.2017.

Pairing: Lucien x Elain Genre: Fluff/Humor Rating: SFW Recommended listen: McFly - Love is Easy

Author’s note:  This was my first ever acotar fic and will always hold a special place in my heart!

*slam*

“How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you to someone in flower?”

Lucien was furious. He was fuming. He was positive that if was possible, he’d actually be on fire. It was too fucken early for him to be going back and forth with his coworker but that bitch loved to undermine him and continuously make his life hell at work.

Due to his outburst after their latest argument, his manager, who also happened to be that demon’s manager, was forcing him to make amends by buying her a nice bouquet of flowers to say he was sorry. Which he wasn’t. Not even in the slightest. But oh, she was going to get that bouquet of flowers.

The Fawn’s Greenhouse was only a few blocks away and taking a walk gave him a way to release some of his anger. But what he didn’t expect was to find a beautiful young woman behind the counter, staring at him like he was crazy. Then again, who walks into a flower shop and demands those kinds of flowers?

His eyes went to the nametag on the front of her dress and he felt his face go red.

Elain. Such a pretty name for such a pretty girl.

Elain, on the other hand, was slightly taken aback.

She loved her flowers. She loved any flowers.

She loved growing things in her garden and every single part of the process mattered to her; planting the seeds, watering them, monitoring their growth, and finally when they blossomed. Her flowers were her babies.

When Feyre and Nesta offered to pitch in and help her open her own flower shop, she was over the moon. Her own savings had fallen a little short and she was thrilled to have the support from her sisters. The Fawn’s Greenhouse was only a few blocks away from where Nesta worked as an editor at a literary agency and a few extra blocks from where Feyre taught Art at the local community college.

It was a great way for the three of them to meet for lunch or dinner quite often, as they would be tonight.

But to Elain, flowers meant many good things: happiness, gratefulness, new beginnings, apologies, and forgiveness. So when this strange angry red-headed man stormed into her shop and slammed money on the counter, growling at her, she was very taken aback at his request.

Elain finally blinked rapidly then chuckled. “Well, hello.” she said and leaned against the counter. “There are a few different ways to do that, Mr…?”

All the anger that Lucien had walked in with completely vanished and was replaced with awe as he took in her features. Gods, she was gorgeous.

Elain tilted her head to the side and Lucien almost combusted as she gave him an encouraging smile and he cleared his throat.

“Lucien.” he mumbled, a hand rubbing the back of his neck, the color on his cheeks matching his hair. “My name is Lucien.”

“Welcome to my flower shop, Mr. Lucien.” she replied automatically and gave him an even wider smile. “I see someone’s ruffled your feathers this morning.”

Lucien snorted, causing Elain to giggle. “Ruffled my feathers. More like plucked all my feathers to death that psychotic bit —” he cut himself off as Elain gave him an amused look. “I’m sorry. Let me start over.”

Elain watched, trying to hold back a laugh as Lucien took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Hello.”

“Yes, hello.”

“You have a very lovely flower shop.”

“Thank you! I’ve worked very hard on it.”

“You are also very lovely as well.”

“You aren’t so bad yourself.”

“You could tell me I looked like a piece of filth and I would honestly take it as the highest of compliments.”

Elain burst out laughing at that and Lucien grinned. Score for him.

“Well, that wouldn’t be very nice to say to anyone.” Elain replied, shaking her head with another chuckle. “Besides, it wouldn’t be true. You’re quite lovely yourself.”

Lucien leaned against the counter, the gap between them growing smaller. “I have never felt so lovely in my entire life.” he said, and with an exaggerated flick of his wrist, tossed his hair over his shoulder.

Elain laughed again and Lucien realized he’d only been in the shop for five minutes but he’d sell his soul to hear that sound over and over again.

“You have quite the humor, Mr. Lucien.”

“Lucien. Just...Lucien.” he corrected her gently with a smile. “Mister sounds too formal and I’d prefer to be on casual terms with the person that’s going to give me my special request flowers.” 

“Your ‘fuck you’ flowers?” she asked with a grin and he had the audacity to give a nonchalant shrug.

“The person deserves them, I can assure you.” he replied and sighed. “It’s my coworker. She makes my life a living hell at work. We had a fight and my manager is forcing me to get flowers as an apology. This is me trying to be nice.”

“By sending her ‘fuck you’ flowers?” Elain asked again, her lips twitching. She wondered about this so called ‘horrible coworker’.

“Keyword here, is trying.” he said with a grin and Elain laughed. “Not all of us can be as nice as you, Elain.”

Elain’s cheeks flushed. She liked the way he said her name a lot more than she’d care to admit.

“And how do you know I’m nice?” she countered, leaning off the counter and crossing her arms across her chest with a smile. “You’ve only just met me.”

“Your name is Elain, you’re beautiful, and you own a flower shop. You could literally stab a man in front of me and I would just say he had it coming.” Lucien promptly replied. He sounded insane, he was well aware, but instinct told him he wasn’t wrong. “Also, you smell really nice.”

Elain rolled her eyes and wanted to curse herself for the blush on her cheeks and the smile that was way too wide. “Are you always this shameless of a flirt, Lucien?”

He straightened up as Elain pulled out a book from under the counter and placed it in front of him, flipping through the pages. “Only with pretty girls who own flowershops named Elain.” he said and gave her a charming smile when she paused her flipping to look at him.

She shook her head and chuckled lightly. He was shameless. Very handsome but oh so shameless. “So,” she started, going back to flipping through her flower book for the right ones to fit his order, pointing as she explained. “We have a few options for your amusing choice in the bouquet. There are Geraniums — Horseshoe Geranium which specifically means stupidity and Foxglove flowers which can mean insincerity. There’s also Meadowsweet flowers which mean uselessness, Yellow Carnations that indicate you’re disappointed in a person and last but not least, Orange Lilies which symbolize hatred.”

Elain finally looked up at Lucien, whose grin had gotten wider and wider with each flower that she rattled off and she laughed at his expression. “I take it all these options sound good?” she questioned with a raised brow.

Lucien’s grin was wicked. “Oh, these sound fantastic. Can I have a mix of them all in a bouquet? Please?”

Elain rolled her eyes and chuckled. “As you wish, good sir.” she said then pursed her lips as she started writing down his order. “Is there a note you’d like me to add with the bouquet?”

His eyes lingered on her pursed lips long enough that Elain had to look up confused at his silence and a blush crept on both their faces.

“Sorry.” he said with a sheepish grin and Elain bit her lip, holding back a smile as she continued filling out the order. A moment passed in silence before she responded.

“I don’t mind.” she said softly.

“Good. Because there’s a lot to admire.” Lucien responded, leaning back on the counter, closer to her.

“I’m sure getting spoiled with compliments today.” she said, giving him a playful smile and he grinned in return.

“They’re all well-deserved compliments. I meant them all.”

“Oh, I know. It’s why I haven’t kicked you out yet.” she said as she moved around her counter, grabbing a note card for him to write on and a pen as he laughed. “For your note. The bouquet shouldn’t take too long...I’m caught up on all my early orders. Would you like to wait or should I have them delivered?”

She tilted her head, waiting for his answer and the smile she gave him told him their thoughts were on the same wavelength.

She wanted him to wait.

And wait he would. He’d wait an eternity for those fucken flowers as long as she kept talking to him. Lucien had shamelessly told her this, realizing too late that he was babbling his thoughts aloud.

Elain’s laughter was enough to ease his embarrassment and the two continued chatting as she moved about, putting the bouquet together. Lucien watched her, appreciating the way she moved and talked and the way she laughed at his jokes. Elain’s cheeks were stained red as they talked, trying to contain how much she was enjoying the attention he was giving her, and how invested he was in everything she was saying and doing. Their conversation was comfortable and flowed so naturally that both of them were slightly disappointed in how quickly she finished.

Giving him a shy smile, she gently placed the finished bouquet in all it’s glory in front of him. “Here it is!” she said cheerfully. “Your requested bouquet. Beautiful and full of loathing.”

Lucien grinned, eyeing her work approvingly. “It looks stunning.” he replied and Elain smiled widely, pleased. “Just like the lovely lady who put it together.”

Elain giggled as he reached out, taking her hand and kissed it. “You’re too much.” she mumbled and Lucien chuckled.

“I can’t help it. Something about you…” he said quietly and the two locked eyes.

“Something about you too.” she agreed and Lucien smiled. He paid her and balanced the bouquet in his hands. His eyes flickered between the bouquet and the beautiful girl who had made it and he quickly licked his lips.

“Would...would you like to go out to dinner sometime?” he asked and relief filled his whole body as she beamed at him.

“I would love to.”

“Great! Friday night?”

“I’ll be ready at 6:30.”

“Perfect.”

Elain smiled at him then grabbed one of her notecards and quickly jot down her number. “I expect more shameless flirting till then.” she said softly, curling a strand of hair behind her ear.

“And I will be more than happy to oblige.” He replied, giving her a wink and Elain giggled.

“I’ll see you Friday then.”

“I’ll be flirting with you sooner than that though.” he replied and she winked at him in return, a blush erupting on both their cheeks.

“I look forward to it.”

“Gods, you’re so fucken cute.” Lucien mumbled and Elain laughed, dipping her head shyly. “I have to leave before this kills me.”

She covered her burning face, grinning widely as she then waved him off. “Go back to work before you get fired.”

“Worth it.” he said, using his free hand to make a finger gun and she snorted softly as he waved then finally left the shop.

Elain bit her lip, smiling to herself. In one way or another, her flowers were always bringing her joy.

~

Elain rushed into the restaurant where she had agreed to meet her sisters earlier that day. She was very excited to tell them about her encounter with Lucien. He had kept his word about the shameless flirting and had her phone buzzing all day; she still couldn’t believe how it happened.

Her pace slowed down when she saw Feyre and Nesta, both seated at their usual table, secluded in a quiet corner of their favorite place. It wasn’t until she was close enough to hear their conversation that she froze completely. On the chair next to Nesta was her sister's bag and a bouquet of flowers that was strangely familiar.

Too familiar.

“And then this asshole hands it to me with a note that says ‘I’m sorry’ in quotation marks like the sarcastic little shit he is.” Nesta snarled and Feyre started laughing. “And then adds that I should look up the meaning of each flower to really appreciate his apology. I’m going to ask Elain what they mean.”

“You are really mean to him, Nes. I’m sure he’s not as horrible as you make him sound.”

“He’s a piece of shit. It brings me joy to make him miserable.” Nesta said with a snort and then noticed Elain. “Elain! You’re finally here. Come on, we’re starving.”

Elain approached the table and sat down slowly, smiling nervously. Oh boy.

“...Nice flowers, Nesta.”

“Thanks.” Nesta replied with a wave of her hand and then picked them up to show Elain. “I got them from a shithead at work as an apology. What do the flowers mean?”

Elain groaned internally. It was indeed her own bouquet full of loathing. She bit her lip. “The guy who gave them to you...his name is Lucien, right?”

Nesta froze and Feyre looked at her curiously. “Yes.” she hissed. Quickly grabbing the note card again, Nesta looked it over. “How did I not notice that he got them from your shop!? That bastard! Did he bother you?!”

“No! He was very sweet.” Elain replied quickly, blushing. “Actually...he asked me out on a date and I said yes. We’ve been texting all day.”

Silence fell on the table before Feyre burst out laughing and Nesta snarled, “What?!”

“It’s later this week. I’m...looking forward to it.”

“Like hell you’re going!” Nesta hissed. “With that idiot! That good for nothing garbage can —”

Elain cut her off with a look. “Nesta.”

Feyre’s laughter had finally subsided and she wiped at her eyes. “Nes...you should be excited for her. She likes him!”

Elain narrowed her eyes at Nesta’s face that was filled with rage, daring her to argue. Feyre looked between the two, her lips twitching.

“So what’s he actually like, then?” Feyre quickly asked. “We know Nesta hates him and makes his life living hell at work.”

Elain gave Nesta one more look before her eyes flickered to Feyre’s face and she gave her a small smile. “He’s actually really nice and funny. I —”

“He has a glass eye and a scar across his face!”  Nesta’s growl interrupting her.

“So?!” Elain automatically replied, pouting. “He got it in an accident! It makes him a strong person!”

“He has a glass eye!”

“It makes no difference to me! I like his personality!”

“He’s an asshole, Elain!”

“You think Cassian’s an asshole too and you’re living with him!” Elain hissed back. “Your judgement isn’t exactly perfect!”

“Well, she gets dicked down by Cassian so I mean…” Feyre interjected with a shrug and Nesta glared at her, her cheeks burning.

“That is irrelevant.”

“Is it, Nes? Is it really?” Feyre asked with a raised brow.

The table fell silent again as Nesta and Elain glared at each other and Feyre tried her best not to laugh. It was only when her phone beeped that Elain torn her eyes away from the vicious staring contest with her sister.

Text from: Lucien How’s dinner going with your sisters? Hopefully, I’m not interrupting anything.

Elain’s eyes looked back up at her sisters and her blush gave away who she was talking to, causing Nesta to glare even harder and Feyre to grin widely.

Text from: Elain No, not at all! I was just telling them about you…funny enough, one of my sisters knows you.

Text from: Lucien Really? What a small world! Which sister is that?

Elain hesitated before she sent the next message.

Text from: Elain The coworker you bought the bouquet full of loathing for. She goes by the name Nesta…though you might refer to her very differently.

Elain bit her lip, frowning after she sent the message. She flipped her phone over and then looked at her sisters.

“Now he knows we’re sisters.” Elain grumbled as Feyre rattled off their usual orders to the waiter.

“Good. If he’s smart, he’ll back off.” Nesta growled and Feyre shoved her gently.

“You back off. Let her live.”

“I don’t like him.”

“There’s a surprise.”

Elain’s reply didn’t make it to her mouth when her phone started ringing. Flipping it over, she blinked in surprise at Lucien’s name popping up. She immediately picked up.

“Hello?”

“I’m so sorry for interrupting you at dinner but I realize how awkward this position is for you right now.” he said, hoping he sounded as apologetic as he felt.

Elain chuckled, a small smile on her face. “Are you calling to tell me our date is canceled now?”

“No.” he replied and Elain’s smile grew wider at how horrified he sounded at the idea. He cleared his throat. “I actually wanted to apologize for saying those things about your sister earlier and I promise that I’ll behave and keep work and personal life separate so that you don’t have to feel weird because your sister and I hate each other. Professionally speaking.”

Elain laughed softly. “Just professionally?”

“...Please don’t make this more difficult for me.” he whined softly on the phone. “It’s bad enough I bought her a bouquet full of loathing from her own sister’s shop.”

“Plot twist, isn’t it?”

It was Lucien’s turn to laugh. “Yes, it is. Does she know what the flowers mean?”

Elain grinned. “Not yet.”

“Let’s keep it that way, please.”

“Fair enough.”

“Really, Elain? You’re letting that walking pile of trash interrupt our dinner like this?” Nesta said, making sure she was loud enough to be heard on the other end of the line.

Elain gave Nesta a reproachful look as Feyre shoved her again. “Behave.”

“Fine...but let me talk to him. He is my coworker after all.” Nesta said, her tone calm. She held out her hand.

Elain looked at her suspiciously but Nesta just wiggled her fingers. Her mouth went into a thin and she sighed. “Lucien, Nesta wants to talk to you.”

“More plot twists.” he said, chuckling.

“You don’t have to.” Elain automatically said but both Lucien and Nesta responded at the same time.

“Yes, he does.

“Yes, I do.”

Elain groaned and then held the phone to her chest. “Nesta...please be polite.”

“No guarantees.”

Squinting at her older sister, she finally handed her the phone with a sigh, pressing on the speaker so they could all hear.

“Hello cockroach.” Nesta greeted him and Elain facepalmed as Feyre snorted.

“Hello demon.”

“Of all the people you decided to hit on, you had to choose my sister?”

“I respectfully asked her out on a date. She’s a grown woman. I don’t really think it’s your business.”

“It isn’t.” Elain added and Nesta squinted at her.

“I’m going to be watching your every move and I swear to god if you so much as lay a finger on my sister, I will crush you with my bare hands.” Nesta threatened in one breath. “That is a promise you filthy little vermin —”

Elain snatched the phone from her hand as Feyre cut her off. “Nesta!”

“Jesus christ, Nesta. I’m not going to hurt Elain!” Lucien hissed on the phone.

“What if I want him to touch me?” Elain snapped, knowing it would silence both her sisters and Lucien. “Hm? What if I — what’s the phrase you used about Cassian and Nesta, Feyre? What if I want to get dicked down by Lucien? Would that be such a big deal?”

Lucien made a sound on the phone that sounded like he was choking as Nesta gasped loudly.

“Elain!”

Taking her phone off speaker, she put it back to her ear and spoke softly, “Lucien, I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

“Yup. Sounds good.” he responded, truly sounding like the air was being choked out of him and Elain's face turned red.

Closing the call, she eyed her sister and held up a hand as Nesta was ready to launch into a speech. “Listen. I know you’re my older sister and you worry about me because I love flowers and seem like a giant idiot who gets easily fooled —”

“That’s never how I think of you, Elain — “ Nesta quickly interjected, her face falling.

“And I know you’re worried about me because the breakup with Graysen was really bad and I was very hurt,” Elain continued, halting Nesta again as her voice shook. “But I am okay. I am fine. And I’m ready to try something new. So please….please be nice to Lucien. I want to see where this goes.”

Nesta fell silent and Feyre gently leaned over to pat Elain’s hand with a small smile.

“We know, Elain. We love you and support you in whatever decision you want to make.” Feyre said softly. “I look forward to getting to know him.”

“...I’m sorry.” Nesta added and reached out to place her hand on Elain’s other hand. “I’ll behave...Try to be nicer to him.”

“Thank you.” Elain said, a relieved smile on her face until Nesta clenched her hand tightly with death in her eyes.

“But if I ever heard the term dicked down and Lucien in the same sentence again, I will kill someone.”

Silence fell on the table once more as Elain closed her eyes, internally groaning at how she was going to have to address that with Lucien when she got home.

It wasn’t until the waiter served their dinner and walked away that Feyre finally broke the silence.

“But what if she does want to get dicked down by Lucien? Elain sounded very enthusiastic.”

“Feyre!” Nesta hissed as the youngest sister broke down in giggles.

Elain groaned audibly now, her face in her hands knowing Feyre was never going to let this go.

“I’m just saying, go Elain, if she does. Nesta said he was a redhead, do you think the carpet matches the drapes?”

“Feyre —  I swear to all the Gods I will stab you with this fork if you don’t stop.”

“Elain, you’ll be sure to share details, right? I want Nesta to know every detail of when you and Lucien finally get down to business.”

“Feyre —”

“Ohhhh what if Elain visits him at work and you walk in on her getting dicked down by Lucien in his office? On his desk?”

Feyre squeaked as Nesta assaulted her in some form or another. Elain had given up, sighing deeply, her face burning.

Who knew a bouquet of flowers would cause so much trouble?

[noa-de-cajou]

Idalia and Zuza belong to @soupedepates and Louis (mentioned) to @corneille-but-not-the-author

______

Aïcha dumped me.

I kinda felt it coming, to be honest. As soon as she asked me to meet up after class. We sat down in our usual café, and she told me she didn’t feel like this was gonna work out, that we were probably better off as friends, the usual breakup speech.

We lasted, what, two months? A month and a half? Longer than most of my previous relationships. We’re both aiming for an history degree and we bonded on a shared project about political relationships between muslims and christians. The only arguments we’ve ever had were about which period we were going to make that damned presentation on.

I’m sort of relieved, as usual. Maybe I'm a bit of an asshole for that, but the more it went on, the more awkward it got. At least she didn’t throw a fit, she didn’t storm out. We actually hung out after agreeing to stay friends and talked about french presidents and showed each other memes and it felt nice.

But now she went home, and I feel weird for some reason. I should be glad that I didn’t get any drink thrown at me for my lack of tears or that she didn't block me, but some of the stuff she said just won't leave my head.

I take out my phone. 5pm. Milosz is still in class. I don't want to go home yet if it's just to sit in an empty living room feeling bad about myself.

He doesn't even know I was dating someone. No one knows. Mid-september to mid-november and I didn’t tell anyone. I'm not like the rest of them, I don't like talking about my dating issues. They can ramble about their relationships all they want, but I’d rather keep mine private. I don’t owe them to anyone. I’ve seen what can happen to people who are careless enough to make everyone know about it.

The screaming and the broken arm and the hospital and the tears and the

Yeah. Anyway.

I’d much rather sit and listen to Bazyli’s misadventures with Kaspar, seeing Milosz pine or Bronya being all touchy-feely with Louis.

Or maybe you're ashamed.

…

I feel worse.

I open the family group chat. Andrzej is spamming it with deepfried memes again. There’s talks about Kamil’s upcoming birthday. Tobiasz sends pictures of him with his girlfriend, it's probably the universe giving me the middle finger. But apart from that, nothing of note. Nothing for me to fix or help with.

I need to be needed somewhere. Anywhere.

There has to be somewhere I'm needed…

Suddenly I remember Milosz saying something about forgetting his sweater at Zuza’s last time he came to help rearrange furniture. Every time I need an airhead, I can always count on him.

I text Zuza to ask if I can come by to pick it up. She replies quickly, “no problem”, and the weight on my chest eases a little.

I take the bus to the apartment complex, dial the code, ring the bell. Familiar gestures, almost automatic, comforting.

The door opens.

It’s not Zuza.

It’s her girlfriend, only wearing jeans and a sports bra, she's barefoot, how, it's cold as fuck today, her ginger hair going all over the place, and a beer in hand.

“Well, if it isn’t Streetlamp.”

Wow, another joke about my height, how creative.

“I have a name, Idalia.”

“I forgot it.”

“It’s-”

“I know your name, kid. Learn how to take a joke, will ya?”

I don’t like Idalia.

I don't like how she walks around Zuza’s apartment like she owns the place. I don’t like how she lays flat on the couch with her feet hanging. I don't like how she leaves her empty cans everywhere (and not just cans of alcohol, coke, lemonade, protein shakes??). I don't like her son, but nobody does. I don’t like her attitude towards me, like I'm some brat, even though I'm an adult and she’s only seven years older than me. I don’t like how loud she is. Anyways, I don't like Idalia.

“So, watcha here for?”

“Picking up Milosz’ sweater. He forgot it.”

“Oh yeah, that. Zuza washed it. It's on the chair.”

“Thanks.”

I go and pick up the sweater. It would be too short and large on me but it’s the perfect size for Milosz. It’s old, stained, falling apart a little. At least it smells clean, blessed be Zuza.

I can feel Idalia’s stare on me and it makes me uncomfortable. It's time for a painful attempt at small talk.

“It’s weirdly quiet today. Where's Dmitry?”

“Eh, he's at Tekla’s this week. You don't know how good it feels to be able to take a piss without a mini you attached at your leg.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

She raises an eyebrow, I groan as I fold the sweater.

“I have six brothers. The youngest is in middle school. Took care of them a bunch.”

It used to be seven.

“Ah yeah, I get that.”

I know. I know your family, my older brother went to school with yours. I know we had similar lives. Similar dads. Similar moms.

Shit, pure shit, all of it.

“I don’t have to do that anymore, thank the fucking gods!”

I grit my teeth.

Do you know how fucking lucky you are to be able to see all your brothers at any time

No you don’t, of course not

We're the exact same so why are you so fucking

Lazy

Irresponsible

Careless

You uncaring bit-

“... You good, kid?”

I let out a heavy breath. I open my backpack and try to make the sweater fit.

“Yeah.”

Idalia takes a loud sip of her beer. It makes me want to shove it in her face.

“I think I saw your brother, recently. The oldest, I mean.”

“Lucjan?”

“Yeah. Nice dude.”

Lucjan did tell me that he met her. He’s still friend with one of her brothers, I think. The Adamski and the Lupsowiec were always the problem children. Forges bonds, I guess.

He was surprised when he met Idalia again. She wasn't a girl when he knew her, apparently. He says she looks happier now.

She’s fucking loud about it

I envy her

I couldn't voice anything if I tried

I don't know how to tell anyone what I want

Even less what I am

“You're doing that face again. What’s wrong, Streetlamp? Got dumped or something?”

I freeze. She blinks, goes back into sitting position.

“Wait, for real?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“How come Zuza didn’t know? She knows everything about the dating shit in your little crew.”

“I didn’t tell her.”

Precisely because she repeats everything to you.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. It just didn’t work out. She said we were better off as friends and I think she’s right.”

That's not the only thing she said.

“You know, Simowiet, maybe you should do a little… self-reflection, or something. About yourself, I mean.”

I don't know what she means by that. I know I'm unlucky when it comes to dating. I've come to terms with it. It’s fine.

Maybe you just can’t love anyone properly.

I zip up my backpack. Idalia looks confused.

“Hold up, “she”?”

“Yeah, she. Her name’s Aïcha. Is there a problem?”

“No, but uh, I thought that you…”

“That I what?”

“Well… You know.”

No. I don’t know. That’s what irks me. That, and her eyes full of insinuations that I don't understand. She shrugs.

“Welp. Maybe you should stop trying to date girls.”

…

That's the most unsollicited piece of advice I've ever received and I live with Milosz.

“Thanks for the encouragement,” I reply dryly, “But I don't think you're the person to tell me that.”

“Why? It’s serious between Zuza and me!”

I know.

I just can't figure out why.

You're mean

Violent

Childish

Needy

No better than both our fathers

And yet Zuza’s still with you and I don’t get it because I'm not like you I'm nothing like you I'm nothing like him and yet it's working out

Why is it working out for you

and

never

for

me

Even though you’re a shitty person

…

Maybe

I'm

shittier

“Hey, it’s hard, I get it. You can sit down and talk if you wanna.”

“I don't want to talk to you of all people.”

… I said it out loud. She's looking at me. Her face twists into a snarl.

“Oh yeah? Why not, kid ?”

Don’t you dare

Call me that

In that tone

You're not my parent

You can’t even raise one kid right

“Because you're a fucking-”

Failure

And yet

The door opens. Zuza is looking at us with a raised eyebrow. Idalia doesn't let her talk.

“Zuza, tell your kid that yelling at me ain’t gonna fix his life.”

My cheeks are burning. Zuza looks even more confused.

“Did you yell at her, Simowiet? Did she provoke you?”

Idalia looks outraged at the suggestion.

“No I didn’t!”

I take a sharp inhale, bite the inside of my cheek.

Keep your cool

Everything is fine

You're fine.

“I’m just tired. Sorry, Idalia.”

Apologizing to her makes me want to puke, especially with how smug she looks. Zuza isn’t reading the room at all, which is probably for the better.

“Alright. Do you wanna stay for dinner?”

“No, I was just leaving.”

I don't want your fucking pity

“Thanks for washing the sweater, and I'm sorry Milosz keeps forgetting stuff here.”

“It’s no problem. I’d rather have that than Bazya stealing my stuff, you know.”

“Right.”

Because Bazyli is the only thing that keeps this whole arrangement together at this point

Maybe even our friend group

We’re always the leeches

I’ve always been the leech.

The thoughts are getting meaner. I need to leave.

“I really should go.”

“Sure, I won’t keep you. You're always welcome here, Simowiet, you know that?”

As if.

“Thanks. Bye, Zuza, Idalia.”

“See ya, Streetlamp! My offer still stands~”

I close the door like it’s the lid of my fucking coffin. It’s fine. I’m fine.

I take the way home, a notification rings in my pocket, you're needed, it's a text from Milosz.

“Hey, I'm on the way back from uni, is it okay if I bring Louis over? 🥺”

Louis. Just Louis? Not Bronya or Bazyli? That's unusual. I start to type a reply.

“Want me to leave you two alone?”

No. That's gonna make him uncomfortable.

“Why not bring the whole gang while you’re at it?”

No. Scratch that. I don't want an answer to that.

“I got dumped I'm not in the mood for guests”

… He’s just gonna be worried if I say that. He doesn't have to know.

“If you only need me to be your fucking housewife you could just say so”

What the fuck. No. That's Milosz. He’s my friend. My best friend. Why am I being so mean?

I hear Idalia’s laugh, “yelling at me ain't gonna fix your life”, how ironic coming from her.

“I don’t know. I was just hoping I could get some quiet tonight. Or talk to you. I had a rough day”

… Rough day. I just got dumped, it's not the end of the world.

Stop being so fucking whiny, Simowiet, get it together.

I stare at the text. I start typing again, slowly.

“Sure, no problem.”

And sent. Maybe the period at the end was a little too dry? Oh, fuck it, what’s done is done. The reply arrives quickly anyway.

“Yay! I’ll make dinner for us then! Thanks Sim you're the best 💖”

I smile. A little. He's adorable as always. And his cooking is good.

And you’re a hypocrite.

I put the phone back in my pocket and start walking again. Towards home, I guess. My home that doesn’t feel much like mine anymore.

Aïcha’s face comes back to my mind. Her hand resting gently on mine. Compassionate.

"Maybe you should do some self-reflection, Simowiet. About yourself, I mean."

And

"I’m worried about you, you know."

There’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine.

It’s just not my day.

[laurasauras]

Careful on that last post there's tons of proshippers in the notes blindly praising him

oh hon, are you lost? i really don't hide what i write!

i'm going to take you in best faith and assume you meant this as a kind heads up. i also want to assure you that this very long post is not meant to make you feel bad and please don't take it as me starting an argument with you personally. it's just something that's been on my mind lately and you've given me an excuse to articulate it!

seriously. it's not you, it's me.

i think the labels of pro/anti-shipper are very stupid and they're a very fandom-centric thing. not because people don't get up in arms about what professional authors write, because of course they do, but because when they do, they don't identify themselves as doing so exclusively on the basis of the romantic pairings in the work.

you wouldn't get someone saying "jamie x cersei writer george r r martin is bad because he wrote incest", you'd get someone saying "game of thrones is bad because it contains incest, graphic sex, rape, gratuitous violence, fantasy themes" or whatever it is they have problems with. or they might say something along the lines of "game of thrones is immoral". and that judgement is based on the work, not on martin as a person.

pro/anti is not based on a person's creative work, because people identify with these labels when they've never created fanfic/fanart. it's a personal identity. "i believe it is bad for someone to create/consume works with romantic pairings based on x" or "i believe people should be allowed to create/consume whatever they like". the "x" in that is usually incest/age gap/power inbalance of some kind, but people can come up with all sorts of things to fill in the blank.

"antishipper" is a convenient label because it isn't defined. it's like saying "moralshipper", where you never say what the morals are. those on the outside of the label are automatically bad, and those on the inside get to be anxious about whether any of their actions or thoughts are going to be called out.

it's the equivalent (and there's a large overlap here) of having a pinned post saying "freaks dni" or "dni if you're a, b, c, or any of the other bad things". it's the safe thing to do, because you can't get called out for forgetting to publicly declare that you don't want racists to interact with you, but it's also an exercise in anxiety.

not for the people who label themselves as proshippers or gladly fly the freak flag! those people either block (sensible) or argue (pointless) or hatefollow (genuine self harm), but they don't panic about the fact that they're being excluded. they might feel sad and they might have anxiety over the potential of being included on a blocklist or callout post, but they know who they are. no, those posts--and to an extent the label of antishipper itself--create an "in" group. and wherever there's an "in" group and those inside hate the "out" group, those inside either Don't Think About It or they live in fear of being kicked out.

and the same is probably true of some proshipper circles. some people would view a member having a personal squick as a betrayal of the group.

by putting a label on it, you're making it into a club.

that's my criticism of the labels. there is some horrific bullying behaviour on both sides, so i won't bother to criticise that. if you think it's okay to tell someone they should hate themselves or they should be harmed due to their opinions, i don't want to be your friend. i don't think that is ever productive. the only thing it does is make the person saying that kind of thing feel that they have done their civic duty. it doesn't change minds, it doesn't soothe victims, it's just nasty.

in terms of what the labels represent, here are my main criticisms of antishipping (because proshipping is defined as "not antishipping" so is useless to talk about). and i'm focusing on incest here because it's easiest to choose one thing rather than go broad:

it implies that it's impossible for a work of fiction to be about a topic without also condoning it.

it states that liking or disliking a work of fiction is a moral action. by liking something, you are actively doing something bad. by disliking something, you are actively doing something good.

it specifically fixates on the ship--i already mentioned this, but it bears repeating. two siblings kissing is not allowed; explicit torture is, so long as it's not tied to a romantic relationship.

it talks about "normalising" concepts, and to normalise is apparently to make them acceptable in wider society. which is ridiculous:

because if incest didn't exist before supernatural shippers, we wouldn't have had a word for it;

because fanfiction is not something that the majority of wider society is aware of, let alone consuming;

because there are 33,509 fics in dean/sam (supernatural) as of the time of posting, and i promise you that none of those authors are kissing their siblings because they enjoyed writing about fictional brothers kissing. i promise you. because ...

because incest is a very real and very illegal and very fucking bad thing. the vast majority of incest is paedophillic and rape. the vast majority of the offenders are not reading fanfiction. they did not learn that incest existed because of fiction and decide that it was an okay thing to do to someone else. the argument that they would is fucking insane.

it can be comforting to say "people who consume this kind of media are bad, and i don't consume that media so i'm not bad."

it can be comforting to say "i don't associate with anyone who consumes this kind of media, so i am not in danger of being hurt."

it can be comforting to say "by saying that i'm an antishipper / proshipper / terf / terf hater / whatever in my bio, i am signalling to those on the outside of my group that they are unwelcome on my blog and unwelcome in society. i am cleansing my space and the world of those people."

and it's all bullshit.

it doesn't matter.

here's a list of things that you can do that do have a positive impact in the world:

plant a tree. call your mum. smile at the baby in the line in front of you. attend local council meetings and advocate for equality. start a book club. compliment someone's art and reblog it. learn how to say thank you in your country's sign language. buy your mate a coffee. assume people are trying their best. put your pronouns in your email signature. take your dog for a walk. write a story that will make someone feel something.

just be kind.

[dapperprincess]

(prefacing this by saying that i am not, in any way, being passive aggressive /srs)

hello hello! don't mind me, just your friendly neighbourhood anon here to remind you that assuming that men and boys are inherently born to do evil and that women and girls are inherently born to do good is a stereotype that has been used to oppress women into cleaning up after men's messes for centuries

it also implies that men are inherently incapable of change, and that means that all the fighting will just have been for naught since they will just keep being evil monsters forever, and whatever we do can't change that.

also, please keep in mind that this argument (man bad and evil; woman good and nice), historically, has been used against the feminist movement, not for it.

you (radfems) say that trans women (and please keep reading what i have to say before you get sent into a fit of rage and start yelling every insult under the sun at me ((who, by the way, is a cisgender woman)) for talking about trans women) push gender stereotypes onto cis women by conforming to societal gender norms, but you may not realise that you are (possibly without meaning to) doing the exact same thing by perpetrating that ideology that "woman = inherently good, man = inherently evil", which is historically an argument used only by those who looked to undermine women's autonomy and ability to change the system of oppression that has and continues to cause them harm.

ok, wall of text over! sorry for rambling on for so long, but i just felt the need to put this out there, because i truly do believe that your heart is in the right place, but to create meaningful change in the world we have to recognise that, although we thought something was true and good, sometimes we make mistakes, and that's okay! mistakes don't dictate our value!

ok, now i'm really done rambling! i'm not really going anywhere with this, but just thought i'd share! /gen

have a nice day/afternoon/night/whatever time of day it is where you are, and remember to drink water! <3

Have you ever actually read anything I’ve posted about gender, sex, and trans identities, or did you just find a radfem with anon on and send the message you really wanted to send to a different woman?

Anyway, this right here is what I meant when I said that posting about women’s rights or abortion rights or whatever will have people asking you if you’ve ever considering not wanting to kill all trans women and assuming you do. I have never once said that all men are inherently evil. I have on several occasions clarified that I dont believe that. I have never started randomly yelling insults at people for mentioning trans women or worked myself into fits of rage thinking of them, and have in fact told people that I do not support those who hurl insults at all trans people or perpetuate transphobia. And yet, my posts about women’s rights in the context of my belief that female is a classification of sexual reproductive roles and nothing more leads me to receive asks from the friendly neighborhood anon asking me if I’ve ever considered not believing something that I dont believe and have never claimed to believe.

Now I could do like one person suggested, I could delete this ask and block the anon who sent it, but I think that would just perpetuate the belief that I do believe these things, even though I have explicitly stated that I dont agree with anything presented here more than once. It would at least perpetuate that belief with the anon who sent this message and now, I assume, checks my blog for an answer. I assume nonny doesnt scroll to the other posts where I’ve answered these questions, so this becomes my one chance to convince someone that believing sex is the role someone would play in sexual reproduction and also the basis for women’s oppression doesnt automatically come with the “kill all trans women” add-on.

Now to actually answer your completely unique and not at all passive agressive question. ;-)

I do not assume men are inherently evil and women are inherently good. I know that women and girls have the same exact capacity for hurting others as men and boys do. The question, then, would be why do men and boys hurt other people at a higher rate since we all have the same capacity for harm?

Because they have the social power to do so. Because in my country, 80% of judges are men. The majority of police officers are men. The majority of business owners are men. The majority of people who hold any kind of tangible power in this world are men. And men are sexist. A by-product of men’s sexism is that a man will side with another man, even if other class interactions would usually prevent it, if a women is the other choice. As a result, women often receive more jail time and higher fines for the same crimes. Where a man has a career and a future that would be ruined over just a little lashing out, judges see women who harm others as “failed mothers” and “failed caretakers” and hold them with contempt and disgust, many also punishing these women more strictly due to an incorrect belief that women are given lesser sentences. You’re right about even the idea that men=evil woman=good feeds into this self-fulfilling system that makes people in positions of power see harmful men as average and harmful women as uniquely evil.

So if I dont believe that testicles make a person evil, and I believe that social factors play into this much more than any type of “nature” argument, then where do trans women come in?

The average trans women is not perceived as female. The average trans woman is perceived as a feminine man. Even if a trans women passes in every way, in most of these situations even just being “out” as trans (such as in the way you would have to be in front of a judge or in a doctor’s office, official places where tour name and social matter) is enough to be perceived as a man by other males. This means that when people in positions of power, namely men, go to make their decisions about who to promote or what sentence to pass, the judge is not seeing two women in front of him. The boss is not considering two women in his head. The doctor is not treat two different women. He is seeing a woman and an effeminate man. And men side with men, even if they hate them. They have this weird thing called class consciousness, and they know siding with a man they hate over a woman they tolerate or even like will result in more male supremacy, something 99.9% of males fights for, and every male who has never consciously picked a side will always pick the side that boasts his supremacy.

I think the second part of your question kinda fell apart due to the fact I dont believe men are inherently evil nor women inherently good, but I will close with the fact that most radfems dont believe that inherently evil stuff, to the point that a separate community has been made (called blackpilled/blackpilledradfems) and repeatedly hounded out of our spaces. If you’d like to pose this question to a blackpilled radfem, I would like to hear the answer you’d get, but I and the spaces I occupy are generally the wrong area for this discussion.

Feel free to send any more questions you have, and I hope this wall of text isnt too much for you XD