#anyhow they give me cuteness aggression

[galedekarios]

#would you still love me if i was a worm?

[bookshelf-dust]

Just wanted to let you know that your work is fucking awesome! I'm currently writing a Eddie x reader fic and wanted to include Gareth and stumbled upon your fics while I was looking for some kind of inspiration. And now I kinda fell in love with this curly haired guy due to your awesome fics! Thank you so much! 💕

Also, may I request something short and fluffy? I had some rough weeks and would die for some cute and funny comforting fic. Maybe reader had some bad grades and her parents are terrorising her about that and her best friend left her because "she was lame" and Gareth found her somewhere in the halls nearly crying because everything is too much and he tries to comfort her and make her laugh again?

Sending lots of love. 💕

good enough

gareth emerson x fem!reader

word count: 1,554

warnings: reader has fight with mother/fight with friend, loneliness, anxiety, one mention of being drunk, fluff, comfort

a/n: hi sweetheart!! i’m so happy that you enjoy my gareth stuff. thank you so much for reading them and for your request! i’m so very sorry that you’ve had a shitty couple of weeks, but i hope that maybe this will make you feel a little better! sending lots and lots of hugs your way. <333

————

“So you just weren’t going to show us until I had to berate you about it? Huh?”

Your mother’s voice is shrill where she stands in front of you. Your father sits across from you at the dining room table, reading the notes your teacher left on your essay.

“I didn’t realize I had to show you every assignment I turn in.”

She exhales loudly and you refuse to look at her. “You do when you receive a grade like that! I thought you were good at this subject.”

Your knee starts to bounce.

You are good. You’re just struggling right now. With this particular instructor, with the class itself—it’s taking a lot out of you.

Not that she’d know that.

Not that she ever asks or would want to know how you actually feel.

Your mother turns to face her husband. “You haven’t got anything to say?”

Your dad takes his glasses off and looks up. “The notes say that there are strong points, but that there are things to be adjusted.”

He turns his head, making eye contact with you. “You can improve.”

He says it both as a fact and a question.

You nod, chewing on your nails.

He’s always been the softer of your parents, but your mother is always very quick to make everything about herself.

Well if you’re doing badly in school, then I must be a bad mother. What will others think if they find out you’re a failure?

“Did you try your best with this?” He asks you.

“I did,” you start. “This material has just been hard on me.”

He turns to face his wife now. “See? She’s trying, honey. You’ve got to give her a chance.”

“Well, she’s not trying hard enough. School was perfectly easy for me.”

That is the end of that, you decide. You can’t listen to her speak as if you’re not in the room anymore. You get up and leave for your bedroom.

————

You sit on the edge of your bed, sinking in on yourself. You want to call Gareth. You know even the mere sound of his voice will help you feel better.

But he’s got Hellfire tonight. He’s not home. Although you contemplate calling anyhow, because if you do, his mother will answer, and she’s always been so sweet and open with you.

You decide against it, but you really need to talk to someone. Anyone. About anything.

You think you want to call Mel.

Melissa Thompson was your very best friend. She had been for the past couple of years, and you’d felt safe around her.

Though lately, she’d been coming up with excuses not to hang out with you. She had studying to do, she’d say. She had to babysit her little cousin.

And you had this feeling. This awful feeling that really it was that she didn’t like you anymore.

She was changing, ready to graduate and move on to bigger things. Ready to make new friends.

You were afraid of change.

But now, you find yourself fidgeting with a string on your quilt as the phone rings and even more aggressively when Melissa answers.

She audibly sighs when she realizes it’s you on the phone.

You wanted to talk, but that gives you a clear sign that she doesn’t want to, and suddenly you’re very frustrated with the fact that you’re seemingly not good enough for anyone.

“Let’s hurry this up then, huh, Mel?” You exclaim.

None of this felt fair. You were not a child and you didn’t appreciate being treated like one.

“Have I done something wrong?” You ask.

When Melissa responds, you can hear what you think is a smile in her voice.

“I’m sorry. You’re just…you’re lame, Y/N.” Your breath hitches. “When’s the last time you came out with me?”

All she ever wanted to do anymore was find a party so she could get drunk and fit in.

“When’s the last time we went shopping?”

All she ever wants is to wear something to impress a boy.

“You just sit around, or you go watch that boy practice for his band. You have no life. And frankly, I don’t really want you in mine anymore.”

You don’t have it in you to fire something back, but you don’t want to leave it like this.

“Well you know what, Mel? Not everyone spends their time trying to please other people or be normal. So fuck you, then.”

You hang up, and bury yourself in your bedding, letting the tears come as they please.

You want Gareth.

————

When you wake the next morning, the feelings from the previous night follow you into the kitchen, where your mother doesn’t speak to you.

And then on the way to school. During school, when you speak with your teacher and come away feeling like a failure because apparently, you hadn’t looked closely enough. Hadn’t analyzed well enough.

They follow you to lunch too, though that’s where you lose it.

You see Melissa in the courtyard and everything comes crashing down. Every feeling from last night and this morning bears down on you.

It feels like you’re surrounded, like the reminders of your wrongdoings are everywhere, and you pack up your things and rush inside.

You’re pacing back and forth at the end of the hallway, somewhere you think you can be alone since everyone else is doing who-the-fuck-knows-what on their lunch break.

Gareth leaves the cafeteria to head for the vending machines, which, rather than be in the lunchroom, are in a separate location a little ways away.

Exactly near where you’re fighting a breakdown.

He spots you, and picks up the pace. He hasn’t seen you in days.

“You thinkin’ Skittles or Starburst today?” He inquires, assuming your contemplating a snack.

Gareth’s voice makes you jump, and he catches it. You turn around, and he looks you over, seeing how glassy your eyes are.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You soften at his presence.

“It’s nothing,” you tell him.

“Hey, no. We aren’t doing that.” He puts his hands on your shoulders and they’re warm.

Your eyes well up further at his words, the fact that he wants to listen, that you know he’ll be there for you, and then they’re clouding your vision so much that you can’t see him anymore.

They spill over.

Gareth takes you into his arms, wrapping them around your shoulders. He’s never seen you like this. He never wants to see it again.

“You know you can talk to me. I know you know that.”

He rubs your back up and down and up and down. You bury your face in his neck. He smells like syrup—you bet he made pancakes for his sisters this morning—and this soft cologne that he wears and very faintly of cigarettes.

Eventually you pull back, and before you can wipe your face, Gareth does it for you.

You take a deep breath.

“My mom got pissed at me last night because I didn’t do well on Click’s essay and she chalked it up to being because I’m not trying hard enough. Because school was easy for her and basically that means I’m a fucking dumbass, right?”

“And then I wanted to call you but you had Hellfire, so I called Melissa, though you know how she’s been,” you stop for a second, your voice breaking, and then you continue. “And she said I was lame, that she didn’t want me around anymore.”

“So I’m just overwhelmed and I feel like Im not good enough for anyone anymore. And I wanted you so bad last night but you were busy and then when you weren’t busy I didn’t want to burden you with my feelings either.”

When you’ve finished, Gareth rubs his hands up and down your arms. He seems to do that when he knows your upset, the rubbing.

“Your mom’s being an ass about the essay,” he says. “School’s not the same for everyone and I’m sorry that she said that. But you are not a dumbass, you hear me? I know how hard you try. I see it.”

You look away from him and he presses his first two fingers gently against your cheek, turning your face back to him.

“And I never liked Melissa anyways. She’s an asshole for not seeing how good of a friend you are and how lucky she was to have you in her life. And you’re totally not lame. You’re a badass.”

That makes you smile. Just enough that Gareth does too.

“Also I don’t ever want to hear you say you don’t want to burden me with your feelings ever again. You literally couldn’t.”

You nod repeatedly, as if assuring yourself, and then look into his eyes.

“I just want you to know that you’re good enough for me. You always have been,” he tells you.

You grin at him, albeit a little sadly. You’re feeling over the moon for him. He thinks you look sweet.

“Come sit with me?”

“Sure.”

Gareth presses a kiss to your forehead like it’s something he does everyday, and then he’s taking your hand, leading you towards his friends.

And you feel like it’s going to be okay.

You know it will. And he’ll make sure of it.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[rxttenfish]

Mmm my love, what are some of your favorite things about Liam? Which other ROs work best as friends with him, and why?

Shipping meme.

the other ROs who work best as friends with liam is all of the ROs because they're all friends :)

ANYHOW FUCK YEAH I LOVE LIAM

he's!!!! so good!!! he was what got me into monprom (well, him and miranda...) for a reason and i still love him sosososo much. my beloved. my darling chewtoy. i want to eat him. i want to shake him until all the stuffing flies out of him and he dies forever. he's my fav and he gives me the cuteness aggression <3

first of all i just love his shitheadedness. like, he's designed to be a character who's easy to hate and be annoyed by and for him to do it with that snide confidence while also being so ridiculously ineffective and easily thwarted by his own rules and preferences that he sets that it's like watching him walk into rakes that he sat down. i adore a character who's their own punchline, who makes up their own silly rules and then has to deal with the consequences and just... opts to do that instead of realizing they made up these rules and they don't have to stick with them. or even knowing that, yes, they could just not have to deal with the consequences of their own made up rules, but no they don't want to. no one is making him do this. he has to do it anyways. it's wonderful. there's a reason him and polly are friends and its because of their mutual love of The Bit.

this is also why i rather like his just... entire stupid "holier than thou" attitude that so many other people seem to get tripped up on - because it's directly a farce. of course, it's a farce for the other characters this applies to as well, vera and miranda and damien are all equally as stupid as every other character in this series, but liam feels like the only one who's sincerely self-aware of that. he has gone on the spiritual journey. he has looked into himself. he knows this is stupid and dumb of him and he's not nearly as smart as anyone, especially not himself, makes him out to be. he will still act like it though.

why. why is he doing this. i mean part of it is, yeah, he doesn't actually want to let go of it and move on, but he has the flimsiest excuses for that and he knows it. but also i think he's just having a good time with it, tbh.

i've already mentioned before how liam is a confirmed masochist, and he's also among the characters who most talk about their fetishes, which is how i know this. he spends so much time talking about what he's into. you blackmail him and it's almost certainly a sex thing for him. as much as horny things come up, especially with other characters like polly, there's more detachment on their side, more plausible deniability. i like that liam just... lacks that. there's no plausible deniability about what he's getting out of this.

and god i just - i love characters where we can tell they're having a grand ol' time too, yaknow? this is also why i like miranda, where you can tell that she is playing up her own dramatic nature because it's fun for her (or she's using it to manipulate someone else), but liam absolutely goes the furthest with this. there's an aspect where he's so image-obsessed that he willfully becomes a parody of himself, parodying his own behavior and playing with it through the ups and downs, and this sets him out from all the other ROs to me. he's the character who most feels like there's a possibility that he's actually not having a bad time during failed events, and i LOVE that as just something on the table.

and the lore! the liam lore!! connecting him back to my dearest underutilized, underappreciated, underloved side characters, the coven!!! just... adding in his guilt and his effective need to make up for his past, for all that he's done, the suggestion that he's purposefully picking harmless things to do and a harmless personality for himself to inhabit on top of everything above? MWAH, wonderful, gorgeous, no further notes needed. i do still prefer him more with faith than joy exactly, but honestly this matters so much less to me than the complicated emotional milieu all of it leaves behind all the same.

the way that it mixes in with his genuine care of his friends and the way that he seems to act like the mom friend, fretting and worrying and caring about the others even if he tries not to show it. the way that liam can act as both as silly as everyone else, as much a part of the chaos as everyone else, and also as the straight man, as someone who is trying to maybe suggest them slow down a little. mwah mwah mwah. everything is so wonderful about liam it's genuinely hard to pick a favorite, he just has so much going on and such a rich inner world that it's hard to really have a bad time with him involved. i also just love his friendship with miranda and GOD i love how they all feel like friends. love it. love it so so much.

honestly i think the worst thing about liam is how much the latter games end up flattening him and making him boring, sticking way too much to the stereotypes and fanon, which should be considered a crime for a character that you just want to see flounce around no matter what happens to him.

anyhow <3 liam <3 im going to punt him into orbit like the football <3

[nekomacheercaptain]

Day 8: Nami x fem! reader

Nami being a pillow princess <3

Word count: 1,4K

Content: squirting, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, slight dirty talk / praise

It started as an innocent joke, whenever the cat burglar loaned you money and you said you were unable to give her twice the amount back.

‘Oh then you’ll just have to make it up to me in another way’

Had you known the devious glimpse in her eye better at the time, you would have known she never meant it as an innocent joke. Everyone else has to pay her back the amount she craves; you don’t know when you became the exception to that rule. Was it the first time she asked you to get on your knees and push your head to her pussy in the hallway, with a ‘be quick, we don’t want anyone to catch us’? Or was it the time when she asked you to join her in the bath to help “clean her”, and test how long you could hold your breath underwater?

Anyhow, you found yourself not caring about when and how while you were occupied licking and lapping at her juices, her slick cunt making an easy entrance for your fingers to fuck her stupid. After having a taste of her the first time, nothing could ever quench your hunger or thirst the same way the ginger could. Fingering your own cunt with the same pace as your other hand was busy pleasuring your lover was a normal occurrence, your thighs always covered in your slick after every session. But lately, you needed more. You craved more, it wasn’t enough to just have her moaning your name in bliss anymore, with nothing but some slick connecting your fingers and her cunt when you were done. And her jaw dropped when you told her your fantasy.

“Y/n! You can’t just say that!” her attempt at lowering her voice to not attract attention failed, seeing how the cook, who had recently just given you some cold drinks, noticed the sudden shift in energy orbiting you two pretty ladies. Nami’s sigh as he approached only made you chuckle, and she prayed to the gods he wouldn’t notice her fluster.

“Please don’t - ngh - ever talk about squirting around the others again,” Nami huffed as your lips were tracing the shell of her ear before ghosting down the sensitive skin of her neck, causing you to laugh at her plea.

“But you’re so cute when you’re flustered, tangy,”

She scoffed at the sappy petname, before feeling your hand move past the hem of her panties, your brain having a memorized map of her body and how to make her melt against you. Her scoff shifted into a sigh as your fingers massaged between her folds, her head falling against your shoulder while her back arched away from your front.

“You didn’t give me an answer back there, though,” you breathed against her skin, before using both of your hands to pull down her underwear, as she automatically lifted her hips before you tossed them somewhere on the floor. Lips teased her pale skin while one hand found its place between her puffy lips, and the other palming the doughy, heavy flesh of her breast that spilled between your fingers.

“You - ah! - You can try your best,” she sighed at your ministrations, and your fingers rubbed faster against her slick folds, before sliding down to tease her entrance and going back up to flick her clit, causing her to yelp.

“Awe, always so sensitive, babe,” you giggled against her neck, your fingers getting more aggressive to feel the woman fall back against you, her thighs spreading wider, allowing you to see your fingers disappear between her puffy, glossy lips.

Normally Nami wasn’t one to let comments slide, but seeing as you were more aggressive with your touch than normal, she couldn’t help but be busy moaning at your hands working wonders with her body. Your fingers teased her entrance before forcing two of them inside her drenched pussy, her high-pitched moans causing you to feel that familiar heat in your core.

“Fuck, baby, it felt that good? I’ve barely even started,” and she tried to talk back at your teasing comment, but it turned into a whine as your fingers started to pump fervently in and out of her cunt, the squelching causing her cheeks to blossom a bright red.

“It’s so loud! Calm-calm down!” she tried to keep her voice low, not wanting someone *cough* a certain cook *cough* to get free wanking material. But you only hummed in amusement against her neck, making sure the pads of your fingers searched for the spot that would fog her brain. Her breathless moans cascading her lips let you know you had found her g-spot, and her hips bucked against your hand.

“I think - fuck! - you need both hands,” she informed you through pants, and sighed when your fingers pulled out of her with a loud, filthy squelch, and you hovered your hand high enough for her to see the shimmer of light reflected on your slick covered fingers. 

“Well, then I’ll have to get between your legs, hot stuff,” you teased, knowing how she hated that petname, a small glare being sent your way as you placed yourself on the floor between her legs. Thighs spread far apart allowing you to see her dropping cunt welcoming your fingers again, making her fall back against the bed with a loud sigh. The sigh melted into a moan as your soft muscle started circling her engorged clit, fingers finding the same pace they had fucked into her earlier, making the navigator arch her back off the bed. Delicate hands cupped her own breasts, as she wanted more stimulation, her nipples getting tweaked, flicked, and pulled, her sweet sounds encouraging you to exchange your tongue with your thumb to rub over her clit, as your mouth started lapping at her puffy lips. Shamelessly crying your name when you curved your fingers to reach the internal spot behind her clit, one of her hands reached for your hair to relieve some tension. You hummed against her folds as she almost pulled your hair out from the scalp, pleased to know she was close already.

“Oh fuck, y/n, - ngh - that’s it!”

Your fingers turned flat as they rubbed her clit, a way she had told you earlier was always too much, her sensitive nub didn’t handle ferocious love well. Time to test your luck, refusing to touch her any other way, the volume of her moans only getting higher, hips grinding against your face. Oh she was loving this. Soft, ribbed walls hugged your fingers tight as they started clamping down on your digits. Had it always been this easy?

“Oh baby, are you about to cum?” your face left her soaked pussy, cheeks and mouth glistening proudly with the ginger’s arousal. An answer was too much to ask for, but you happily accepted her mewls and cries of pleasure.

Spasming of legs and hips was the sure telltale of her orgasm washing down on her, and her pussy sounded wetter as your fingers fucked into her sopping cunt more aggressively, and you smiled in shock, “Nami, fuck, are you gonna gush all over my face? Let me get drenched in your cum?” and with a scream that sounded like an attempt at your name, liquid squirted all over your face, the nastiest, filthy squelching sound bouncing off the walls as you fingered her through her orgasm.

“Holy shit,” your voice reflected your admiration as you saw your hand dripping with the remains of her high when you pulled your soaking fingers out of her cunt, feeling droplets running down your face, luckily having missed your eyes, “you did so fucking good, baby,” you coaxed her through her high as her legs shook lightly while she was heaving for air.

While the navigator lay exhausted on the bed, struggling to come back to reality after experiencing the most intense orgasm of her life, you washed yourself off with a damp towel before cleaning her as well. Seeing how she was slowly coming back to earth, you laid beside her, pulling her head to your chest, feeling how she melted against your body, a content smile painted on her lips.

Maybe you needed to owe her money all the time….

I usually see Nami in a more dominant, giving role, but I wanted her as a pillow princess in this (it's what she deserves <33). Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed it!

[hongjoongscafe]

Stay with me

Part 8 {serieslist}

|In the box|

Pairing: hamsterhybrid!hongjoong×reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: she couldn't help but adopt the sweet and shy but stressed hybrid. Will he be able to open up?

Warnings: mention of dying/death.

Word count: 2.8k+

Masterpost

ATEEZ masterlist

After two days of the wedding, you all returned back home. Everyone was super tired. But still, there was this excitement in Hongjoong's heart that kept him awake all flight. He was sure you were feeling the same. Well, that's one of his specialties: to know how the other person is feeling. But that can be misjudged too! Human feelings are scary in the end.

Anyhow, now, everything was just perfect for them. They comfortably slept in the same room the next night. Nothing was weird. Hongjoong thought that things might go downhill but it was quite the opposite. Everything felt good. He felt like a new person. A better person.

"Oh hey, sweet potato. How was your night?... Noisy? Well, It was for us," Seonghwa teased while everyone else was having their breakfast.

Your steps halted near the dining table. A hint of nervous smile along with saucer eyes washed your face. Hongjoong's reaction was similar who was trailing behind you, holding your sleeve like a kid. Cute.

You could feel the rising heat on your cheeks. It was a little embarrassing. Your purpose was to make your Joongie feel good, not to give a topic for others to tease you about.

"Right? We heard it too," Dad Jackson rose an eyebrow. "It was quite loud..." Mumma Jane added.

"Mhm, so like are we doing the walk of shame, or are we good?" You mentally noted to snap Seonghwa's neck once you go back home.

Ignoring all the teasing. You took Hongjoong's hand in yours and smiled brightly before saying—

"No one is doing the walk of shame," you confidently stated. This statement of yours made Hongjoong feel so loved. He felt like he is important in someone's life.

Hongjoong smiled at the little flashback.

It was two weeks later. None of you touched each other after that night. Just made out here and there. Which was cute. You even took him to Seonghwa's just to make out on their couch. Just like how they did. Remember?

It was funny how crazy you both got for each other all of a sudden.

At work, you only thought about going back home to your precious Joongie who is surely waiting for you to return from work. This was your new routine every single day for the last two weeks. Wasn't it nice that someone is waiting for you at home and they genuinely care, asks you about your day? It was nice. Your lonely house was finally filled.

Hongjoong enjoyed every single moment with you. He felt so complete. So secure. He looked up to someone, who loves him, and is willing to look after him. You always took great care of him. He was living his best life.

Trust. That's what he gave you. For him, it was like giving his whole life on your palm. You could throw it like trash but he believed in you, he knows that you won't do that.

~~~

The clock was directed at 6:36 PM. But you were still not back. He looked at the rectangular, thin box called the phone. The regret of not knowing how to use that thing drowned him. His ears fell flat on his head.

"You should be back by 5:20 like you usually do. Or at least, call me and tell me you are oky," he murmured.

8:30 PM sharp, still no y/n around him. He felt sad. 'Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt her?' The mixture of negative thoughts gave him a headache.

After ten minutes, he heard a car. Not any car, your car. He excitedly jumped up and ran towards the main door and open it for you. He stood there with the widest smile on his face, looking at your car. 'Finally, she is home!' He grinned.

Hongjoong saw you getting out of the car. But the vibe you carried today was different than any other day. He could feel heaviness, and... Aggression.

His wide smile vanished. He just stood there watching you get out of the car and slamming the door causing him to flinch a little. He got scared of this new attitude. Tiny flashbacks from his past started to haunt him almost immediately.

You came close to him and pushed your office bag in his chest and went inside without uttering anything. He trailed behind you, saw you lazily slumping on the couch in the kitchen and lounge area. You let out a long sigh.

Hongjoong placed your bag on the coffee table and brought a glass of water for you.

"How was your day?" He cautiously asked.

"Oky," no it wasn't. The whole day sucked. It's probably the worst day to ever exist. Your boss yelled at you in front of everyone, your colleagues made fun of you and sort of bullied you. The motherfucker of a boss gave you a shit load of work. This was all new. Before today, nobody said anything to you. But it all made sense when you found out that the new employee in your department, shit talked about you. The anger was killing you inside.

Telling all this to Hongjoong didn't sit right so you kept your mouth shut. Your mind was blinded. Although, the wise part of your mind was screaming that you should talk about it. But you kicked that part out.

You remembered that you promised Hongjoong that you will bake some cake today. You looked at him, ears flat on his head, head facing down and you could see a slight frown on his head.

Releasing another sigh you got up and wore your apron. Shuffling through the drawers, you organized the raw material on the counter, neatly.

Hongjoong's doe eyes looked at you. You smiled slightly and gestured him to come next to you with your head. His ears lifted half a bit.

"Let's bake the cake, I guess," you tried to be enthusiastic but horribly failed.

Hongjoong sensed it. 'Are you doing this out of pressure? Do you not like it?' He thought. "You don't need to if you don't want," he offered.

"Let's just get over with this..." His heart ached at your unfiltered answer.

Hongjoong slowly mixed the dry ingredients while you were washing the dishes. The silence was suffocating for him. He was feeling uneasy. He couldn't bear his sweet and soft owner with this heavy mood. 'It feels like I'm with my first owner' he mentally sighed.

Your phone lit up telling you that your phone's battery is almost dead.

"Joongie? Could you please bring my portable charger from my room? It's in one of the drawers," He nodded and followed the instructions.

His heart fluttered when you called him by the nickname you usually call him. He loved that name.

Entering the room, he opened the drawer on the right side which smelled strongly of you. 'This must be her side' he thought.

There were other things inside the drawer like some books, emergency medicines, scrunchies, and on the top of the side table, some hair clips, a lamp, and a water bottle were there. He got up and walked towards the other side table on the left side.

Hongjoong opened it and the first thing he saw was the white-colored portable charger. He grabbed it but caught a glimpse of something. A box-like thing. He picked it up, he knows what that box is, and his heart immediately shattered.

"The mocking box...?" He whispered to himself.

How can he forget this thing? This was something people rubbed in his face to remind him that he is a lower-grade man. Not only him but his whole kind.

The fact that people who hate them and keep hamster hybrids as their dirty pets, make them do all the work, treat them like shit, own this box. This is a clear sign of slavery for him. And if you possess such thing, only means that he is no more than a slave to you. That you love seeing him in pain.That he is being manipulated by you.

His little hamster heart shattered, tears threatened to fall. But this was not the right time to grief. So he got up took the box with him and hid it in his room.

Wiping the stray tears he came back down. Much quieter. He gave you the charger and you let out a tiny 'thank you'.

Hongjoong's quietness went unnoticed by you. Too caught up in your head to notice the mood shift in Hongjoong. He was feeling lonely all over again. His heart was hurting and the reason was you. Someone he thought would never hurt him. How wrong he was. All humans are fucking monsters, selfish, mean, heartless. 'So is this why you are acting cold to me? Now that I gave you my trust? You fucking leave me like this?' He wanted to ask you but he was scared, the aggression you released scared him to death.

"You can put your guard down when with me," he scoffed at the memory. Such sweet words definitely manipulated him. He got so vulnerable with you. Oh, he hates himself even more.

~~~

The food was ready. Though, appetite died a long time ago so he took a small portion. No words were shared just a suffocating silence.

Hongjoong wanted to scream and ask many questions. He wanted to ask why you insulted him. You out of all the people. You played the dirtiest game! You made him believe that you are different than others. It's you! Your fucking fault.

Everything went just quietly. Now back in the kitchen, cleaning the counter and the shelves. Hongjoong was wiping the glasses when your phone buzzed, indicating the new message in your inbox.

Boss Bitch: do your work properly or else I will kick you out!

That was it. It ticked the last vein in your brain. To make it worst, a glass slipped and broke from poor Hongjoong's grip.

"Goddammit! Can't you do one thing properly? Are your buttery fingers so useless!?" You yelled at him. Poor him. He stood there shocked. If you weren't this angry, might have slapped yourself hard in the face for making him this scared.

Hongjoong's all insecurities hugged him. Your angry behavior triggered him to a panic attack. He muttered a little 'sorry' and ran into his room. He locked himself inside.

He picked the box and opened it, just what he expected. The happy music was being played while the little hamster figure with human features spun, being mocked for asking for freedom. The lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger. He felt sad for that figure.

Tears started running through his sad eyes. He felt like he fell back in square one. Maybe the circle in which he was spinning never broke. Maybe the meaning behind that box is true: he has to come back from where started. He can't escape reality.

This was worst than anyone before. Why? Because he finally gave trust to someone who knew that he was abused and vulnerable maybe not the incidents but you still had some idea of what he has been through before. What a shame. It's his fault, he is the one who trusted you. He is the one who let you slip into his life so easily.

Hongjoong just kept on blaming himself.

He felt disgusted. Now when he thought about the night your mouth was wrapped around him, or all the time you both shared a kiss, the idea made him feel disgusted. He felt more harrassed than the time those unknown people used him.

All the time you made those pretty comments about how things should revolve around love, oh he wanted to throw up. So fake. How can someone be so fake!? Your pretty and cute face hid many dirty secrets. At least, people before you were hating him on his face. He thought you were different!

'No human is good,' he thought. You hurt him. Joongie, he hated this name now. How dare you do this to him after acting like an angel?

'Is your family like you? Mean? Manipulative?' He questioned himself.

He hated it not because you did this to him. Not because you secretly hated him... Because he was in love with you. He finally fell in love with someone. He finally found someone with whom 'love' made more sense than his whole life.

All those feelings of being secure or loved or wanted just shattered like the glass downstairs. His heart was ripped off from his chest. He felt like dying. Maybe that was what he wanted. The only way to get out of this whole life circle— mean and unfair life circle.

~~~

You were sitting on the couch where you first slumped. An episode of Brooklyn 99 was rolling on the screen. But you paid no attention to it. Your brain was continuously going back to all the bad things that happened that day.

It felt like someone whacked your head with a hammer.

You got up to make yourself a cup of tea to soothe some pain. The cake you and Hongjoong baked was there, untouched. You covered it with a glass dome and placed it in the fridge. Then you realized how bad you yelled at your precious little baby. You groaned at the memory. You covered your eyes with your cold hands.

You mentally noted to make it up to him in the morning. Now is not the time.

After finishing your tea, you decide to shower and sleep. The warm water relaxed your headache. But your heart was still not at ease.

Tossing and turning in your bed. Nothing was helping your heart which was running a million miles per hour. You got up and marched towards Hongjoong's room. Maybe confronting him now was all you needed. There was complete silence in the corridor. 'He must be asleep,' you thought. You didn't want to bother his sleep. So you went back and tried to fall asleep which you did after some time.

~~~

The breakfast was ready. You made Hongjoong's favorite breakfast which consists of pancakes, yogurt with a side of peanuts, and a cup of his favorite lavender and rosemary tea. A smile was painted on your face. You woke up feeling fresh. The fuckery of the day before was long forgotten. The cherry on top, it was the weekend! Finally, some free time to spend with your Joongie. You even booked the tickets for the movie in the evening.

Nice breezy air was coming through the open sliding windows. The fresh aroma of the herbs you planted in your backyard surrounded your nose. You did not forget to write an apology letter for Hongjoong. You did yell at him pretty bad. And you pulled your hair due to frustration this morning when the most heartbreaking memory came back.

"You are the biggest idiot in the world, y/n," you kept on saying to yourself.

You felt bad for him. He did nothing wrong but still got yelled at by you. So fucking annoying.

It was already eleven in the morning and Hongjoong usually comes downstairs around nine in the morning. 'He must be tired... Better no? I got the full time to prepare this apology breakfast and letter,' you thought.

You sat at the table, waiting for him to come down any minute now. But an hour passed away, no sign of him.

"Joongie?" You called for him while waiting at the stairs.

Nothing.

"Joongie?" You tried a little bit louder. But nothing.

You went upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door. Maybe he was washing up.

But nothing.

Your heart picked up the pace. You knocked on his bedroom door. Nothing. But there was a faint jingle sound coming.

You opened the door but you were welcomed by the worst scene ever.

The view in front of you gave you a sudden panic attack. Your hands and legs and whole body started trembling. You started crying, loudly. This was not something you wanted to wake up to. All that positive spirit went to hell. All that happiness wrecked. All the good memories with him came rushing to your mind making you feel miserable. You got your phone from the pocket and called the first number.

Seonghwa was brushing Wooyoung's hair when his phone rang flashing your name on it.

He picked up "hey sweet po—" but he stopped when he heard your uneven breath and crying. "Hey, y/n. Why are you crying? What happened?" His voice softened but was filled with worry.

"I-It It's Joon- Joongie," your cries worsened.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung's hearts skipped a beat.

"What about him? Is he alright?" He asked.

They could only hear you crying louder.

"He is not with us anymore!!!"

.....

Sanaa's note:

Um. I hope you liked this part...? I mean I have said this before but like lemme repeat: this might not have a happy ending. 👀And I hope you guys are safe and plz plz plz wear a mask outside or inside if you are in public. Don't take anything lightly plz. I always appreciate your feedback. You guys are so amazing. Two parts of this series have crossed 100 notes✨ thank you so much for all the love and support! A forehead kiss for all💋. Last but not least, the behavior of all the characters is visualized.

Tag list:

@sungiesangel @untitled76543 @bbc-minji-oc @tenelkadjowrites @hongjoongtrasher @paralumanniluna @shiningstar-byulxx

@ryo-84 @yunhosleftpinky @damselindistressanu @r000l @bikiniholic @playboygeniusphilanthropist @hippohippo @hwachu @midnightjmadness @solarswonderland @cheline @gayliljoong

*lemme know if you wanna be added*

*the original pictures are not mine, I just edited them*

Have a nice day/night💓

[pendulum-sonata]

For the ask, Kubera.

Omg... anon, you're asking me about Kubera???? Are you real? Talk to me!!!

Anyhow... let's do this:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Ever seen that meme of the sweet cinnamon roll starting all pure and innocent, until they get "burnt" and jaded? This would be Leez, I love her so much and wish she wouldn't have to suffer all the time 😭

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Quoting Mandy, as of season 3 everyone is hotter and angrier so there's aren't many cute characters around, I wanna choose Teo tho, her og personality was adorable.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Ran, he's not as underappreciated as other examples (especially not after "The Weight of Time" arc) but I love how he remains the big brother figure to Leez and Yuta even after season 3 and can be both the hinged or unhinged one of the group.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Hura! I know something is going on with this mf, and every time he talks I'm all like "I'm watching you"

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Gandharva, didn't even have to think about it, he checks all my boxes and lots of people hate him whuch add a nice sprinkle of fun spite to liking him, he's my trashman, emotional pathetic wreck.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): The plot already torments most characters, but if I have to choose one... Sagara, she's so unapologetic and unwilling to see any reason beyond her goals that sometimes she gets on my nerves.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): These days, the character changes, but more often than not it's either Asha, Brahma or sometimes Kali, I wouldn't even taunt or mock them just push them and destroy the key.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

How about Revali x reader headcannons with an innocent bean that’s even more of a cinnamon roll than Mipha with a jealous Revali?

You know, I’ve always found Revali interesting, in the sense that the atmosphere of Rito Village is so...genuine. It’s soft, and kind, and comforting, pretty much the exact opposite as Revali’s outer characteristics. So, I’ve kind of written these headcanons in a way to reflect the idea that the reader’s personality would sort of break these characteristics down. Please enjoy! (and apologies for the long, long wait...)

Revali x Innocent Bean Reader (Hylian) 

sorry it’s just easier with a Hylian, if you wanted specifically a Rito or something….uhhhhhhhhh maybe next time :P

1015 words, because I got carried away

Welcome to Rito Village, you’re right at home

The children smile and laugh, and the neighbors greet the tourists with carefree expressions. I mean, what other kind of mood would you be in, when you live in a world where you can fly?

Despite being lacking in the wing department yourself, you’ve always been fascinated by the culture of the Rito, which is exactly what led you to come to the village in the first place

You’ve recently been spending your days writing, taking notes on the details of a daily life for a Rito. Needless to say, it’s quite different than you usual scenery back in the grassy fields of Hyrule 

More specifically than just the Rito themselves, you’ve heard tales of a up and coming Rito Warrior, one of the youngest to ever master the art of archery, and supposedly hand picked to eventually wield a Divine Beast against the legendary threat of Calamity Ganon

Well, need I even introduce him?

When you first meet Revali, the interaction is...interesting, to say the least. While his mannerisms are definitely different to some of the more accommodating Rito, you didn’t pay his attitude much mind

Any signs of passive aggressiveness you detected from his tone, you brushed to the side, chalking it up to the busy Rito probably having a bad day. His snide remarks? He just has a different sense of humour. His arrogance? You saw right through it, and made it a point to always keep his spirits up 

For the most part, you really enjoyed his company, especially given that the way he always acted around you was so...uh, what’s the word… Unique? Cute? Entertaining? You’d probably settle for any adjective with a positive connotation

As for Revali, you were driving him up the walls

It’s not that you were rude, or boring, or agressive, or annoying— wait no, actually, yeah. Yeah that was the word, you were annoying. 

But don’t take it too harshly, this birb boy is so stuck in the pit that is his own ego, that he gets a bit irritable when people don’t understand or appreciate him 

And you were this perfect storm of being infuriatingly nice (can you not understand that he’s trying to make fun of you???????) and being aggravatingly empathetic 

He genuinely can’t tell if you’re mocking him, or if you’re just that dense

“Back again? I suppose you want to hang out with me today, considering any activities you’re involved with must be incredibly dull and pathetic”

“Sure! I’d love to!”

?!????????!???!?!??!?!?!

I mean, just the other day he made a snide, sarcastic remark at you… and then you, thanked him?????

At first he chalks it up to you being stupid… but then as time passes, he considers that maybe you’re just messing with him mentally. Hylia knows he’s going CRAZY when you’re not giving the “desired” reaction to his remarks

“Why are you staying here anyhow, did your Hylian pals get so irked by your annoying presence? Must be dreadful, your life, that is.”

“Oh no, I just really love it here! And it’s hardly dreadful when my company includes you!” You then proceeded to playfully ruffle the feathers on his head

WHAT THE HELL!?!?

Were you really that innocent??? Why were you being so nice to him??????? Bewilderment couldn’t even begin to describe how he was feeling

Maybe this was some game? Or wait… is this what Hylian flirting is?? Being intoxicatingly nice no matter what??? Was your flirting game really that stron— aaaaannd you just went oblivious to that other Rito’s moves on you. So that’s gonna be a nope

Honestly, if you were anyone else, he would just write you up as incredibly dense and pathetic. If you were lucky, he might even pity you. But no

No, his feelings whenever he saw you hang out with other Rito...and laugh and smile along with them...as well as being innocently oblivious to their attempts to hit on you...his feelings were…

“I’m not jealous, I’m just incredibly observant is all.”

News Flash: that’s a lie

Whether the Rito Champion initially liked it or not, the two of you were definitely growing a bond. The question of whether you were actually aware of how close, personal, and sometimes flirty you were acting, it’s debatable to say the least

It’s not your fault that you didn’t know Rito bonding typically involved close contact….and that you were always keen on warm hugs and cuddles....it’s not your fault that your thoughtfulness and bright smiles created a perfect storm with how touch-starved Revali’s been all his life

He just couldn’t wrap around his head, after the years of walls that he had built up, why somebody liked him

You had even started bringing him, no, making him gifts?

“What in Hylia’s name even is this?”

“A flower crown! Gods, don’t tell me you’ve never had a flower crown before?”

“Is...is this some kind of ceremonial thing?? Are you...sending some sort of intricate message with it???”

“No! Of course not. It’s just to make you look even prettier than usual.”

-cut to Revali’s feathers floofing from embarrassment-

When the day eventually comes where your feelings are mutually known, Revali is equal parts elated, and part exasperated

He really spent so much of his time analyzing your every word and move, just to find that you really were that genuine and kind

“Spirits above...I was the dense one all along.”

[canonicallysoulmates]

Walker 1.14

This was good- it is kinda noticeable that this episode was not in the original plans for the season because remember this season was supposed to wrap up with episode 13 then they got picked up for more epis, so it has this slight filler-ish/bonus episode feel to it in my opinion. But it was good, it's like a little day in the life of these characters which made for a pretty chill hour of tv; nothing too exciting or massive happens but time was evenly divided between the characters and we see some of the different storylines being touched upon.

So what's happening in this episode...

The family is still trying to cope with the traumatic experience they went through and Hoyt's death. All of them are a mess, Stella is being consumed by guilt cause she feels like it's her fault, Abeline wants to protect her family, Bonham is losing himself in fixing up the ranch, Liam's not sure he wants to continue his campaign, August wants to cling to the few things his uncle left behind, Cordell and Geri are also dealing with guilt, and even Micki gets kind of caught up in this because Cordell took a leave of absence so she is temporarily left without a partner which makes her be passive aggressive to Cordell because she's too used to him being there.

Throughout the episode we see their grief and how they're dealing with things; Geri found out Hoyt was in the process of purchasing a plot of land but not just any piece of land it was one he and Geri had passed by once and she had commented it'd be a nice place to settle down 😭 Hoyt was too good for you Geri, he was too good for you.

Anyways, the deal fell through when Hoyt passed but he still had some personal belongings there that Geri had to go pick up before the new owners arrive so she asks Cordell to help her out and tells him to bring the kids along cause maybe the change of scenery will help them.

So, he signs his leave of absence, they take off and...what Hoyt left was 4 horses...and an alpaca they thought was a llama which Cordell wasn't exactly thrilled about he even tried to get rid of the alpaca and that was a whole thing because these are one of the few things Hoyt left behind so the kids, especially August, are adamant about keeping these animals that belonged to the uncle they loved, and lost in a very traumatic way. Cordell ends up having a change of heart, he realizes he was wrong to give away the alpaca so he goes to find it and turns out the alpaca is a girl and was in labor, she had a baby girl... which they end up naming Hoyt.

There's a couple moments between Cordell and Geri cause you know they still have that awkwardness of the kiss they shared and then Hoyt's death made things worse and I must say after everything that has happened I am so on the the nope train when it comes to those two hooking up, no thank you I don't like it, I don't want it. It just seems inappropriate and wrong.

Also, somehow Trevor is still in contact with Stella, I feel like there should be lawyers on either side advising against that, or at the very least somebody telling her to change her phone. But she ends up taking advice that Geri had given her, and she tells him she can't visit, that she needs to let go of the past and tells him goodbye. Good for you, Stella.

There is a sort of case in this episode; a veteran that Trey has PT with went missing and since he knows the dude well and he was one of the last people he was seen with Captain James asks him to help out, and Micki volunteers as well so we get to see a bit of Trey and Micki working together which was really nice. The case was pretty predictable, the person that went missing was about to lose their home so they got into underground fighting to make quick cash. However, there is a hilariously unrealistic moment when they go to where the fight is being held, and Micki and Captain James are dressed head to toe in their work uniforms, there is no way in hell that two cops are gonna casually stroll into an underground fight ring where they're even gambling and get info, those people would have fled like rats, hell there probably would have even been somebody outside making sure the authorities don't show up but maybe things work differently in Texas 😂

Anyhow, the guy they're looking for can't fight because of his CET, so Micki fights in his place (but not before Trey volunteers and takes his shirt off thank you script writer 🤤) which was awesome to see and I wish we had gotten more of; also I must make the note that as somebody who watches SEAL Team and was left scarred by the episodes they did about TBI's in war veterans seeing this show be so casual about this vet having brain trauma makes me want to scream.

While all this is going on, back at the ranch Liam is still recuperating and he's being pestered by journalists. Abeline is taking care of him but it's clear she needs a break so Bonham calls Stan whose existence I tend to forget. And while Stan is with Liam, Bonham offers to go mushroom hunting with her because he knows it's something that means a lot to his wife. Which leads to the cutest scene of them just giggling on the floor together, it's so adorable.

Oh, there's also this small side thing where Bonham didn't want to get cancer treatment but then he ends up deciding to do so.

Stan...is actually a really decent dude, even though Liam is his political rival he encourages him to stay on the race and even gives him his first campaign donation. Also, Liam might get back together with Brett cause he found out what happened and wants to talk, good luck to them they were cute together.

Then it all ends with a cute scene between Cordell and Micki where they hug and he calls her family ❤

And because Hoyt's death didn't hurt enough the final shot is Cordell realizing that ingrained into the gate of the new alpaca area it says it's in memory of Hoyt, show I'm already sad about that death why do you add to it 😭

All in all, solid episode, like I said very day in the life which personally I don't mind especially since the last episode was so massive it's nice to get something a little more mellow before we get back into big plot lines.

[prorevenge]

Sexual Perv - Revenge is Sweeter When They Don't Know It's You

​

So this is a story about a guy I considered a friend. To this day, he has absolutely no idea that I am the main person who exposed him and I hope to keep it that way.

The main characters in this story are Myself, Badass Pilot, Girlfriend1, Girlfriend2 and Girlfriend3, Young Female Pilot, and a bunch of other randos needed to fill out the story. I witnessed most of this myself, but I also included details from other people who witnessed things when I was not there. I fully trust the sources of the reports.

So Badass Pilot is a pilot, as the name suggests, but he doesn't work for an airline. He started teaching at a flight school in his 20s but decided to strike out on his own because, as he told everyone else, he could do it better. He spends the next few years trying to destroy the reputation of his first employer. Badass Pilot is a very likeable guy and lots of people think he's awesome and believe him. I am one of them.

Now when he starts out, he drives a super shitty car, doesn't have an office, gets evicted from his apartment for not paying rent, and so on. But people like him and they help him set up a school and help fix it up, and generally give him a hand. Every once in a while people get pissed off at him because he does shitty things to other people, but his circle of friends defend him and just think he's great. He tells these pretty whopping tales, he's funny, and people naturally like to be with him. A lot of his stories have made-up details designed to put other people down, but he tells them in a highly entertaining way. His behavior is a bit crazy, and some of the reason people hang out with him is that he will do crazy stuff that is not normal, plus now he throws good parties.

He also has this cute girlfriend, Girlfriend1, and they end up living together. To be clear, she is pretty cool, definitely not a raging B, is fun, throws him a huge party for his 30th birthday, and so on. Now, while he's with Girlfriend1, he is still coming on to other women when she's not looking. A couple of times I have seen him totally love bomb a hot girl, usually someone in a vulnerable position like if he knows she's going through a bad breakup. He showers them with attention, gets them totally interested in him, says Girlfriend1 cheated on him, they're on a break, or some other such story that isn't true. He sleeps with them, and then he ghosts them and says they're crazy, and does anything else he can to get rid of them so Girlfriend1 doesn't get suspicious. As an example, after he cheated on Girlfriend1 with one girl, she tried to get in touch with him after he ghosted her, which is a actually a reasonable thing to do. Instead of talking to her himself, Badass Pilot lied and told everyone she was crazy and was stalking him, reported her to his friends at the police department, and had the police call her and tell her to shove off. On top of that, he also starts telling these crazy stories about Girlfriend1, totally criticizing her behind her back, telling everyone what a loser she is, and generally not appreciating having a relationship that most people would love to have. So you get the idea on how he treats women.

When Badass Pilot and Girlfriend1 finally break up, he told everyone that SHE was cheating on HIM when it was the other way around. His excuse for tanking an interview for his dream job was that he discovered Girlfriend1 was cheating the night before, he was an emotional wreck and that's why he flubbed the interview. There were a bunch of inconsistencies with his timeline and I knew it wasn't true but he told the story to anyone within earshot and people just accepted his version of events. And so he made everyone hate the ex and feel sorry for him, which is a common theme.

So anyhow, he and Girlfriend1 break up, he is drinking heavily, partying all the time, and a bunch of us get a front row seat as he comes close to destroying his life, parties hard, acts like a sleaze, hits on women constantly, and works his way through any woman who will sleep with him setting some new low records.

A few months later he hooks up with one of his students, let's call her Girlfriend2, and pretty much immediately moves into her house. This seems to stabilize him and help him get his life on track. Over the next few years he gets a cush offer flying corporate charters. He's a likeable guy, which helps him get a sweet contract as a private pilot for a billionaire, which he brags about nonstop to everyone. They also pay for him to get trained to fly jets. He gets a new car that doesn't look like a piece of shit, and he lives in a nice house. His flight school is no longer a frat house and it's more of a family friendly environment. Girlfriend2 helps him out at the flight school and life is pretty good for Badass Pilot.

To put the icing on the cake, the FAA is looking for new blood to fill a highly prestigious job of pilot examiner. These are people who are pilots with a lot of experience, well respected members of the local community with good judgment and a lot of power over student pilots and other flight schools. They also tend to make tons of money because they can charge any price people will pay to get their license and there isn't a lot of competition. Badass Pilot has friends at the FAA who like him, and he gets the job. He brags to people that it's like printing money tax free since students have to pay in cash (sounds weird, I know, but it's true) and he says the IRS doesn't need to know about it. So Badass Pilot is now in his 30's at the pinnacle of his career, earning tons of money, and has lots of power over people in the industry. And the success really goes to Badass Pilot's head.

Now, as you might have guessed, Badass Pilot is still the same person he was before, just with a lot more money, power, and success.

Badass Pilot still likes to brag loudly that he is the best instructor around and he has the best flight school. He still tells people how bad other flight schools in the area are, even though he shouldn't be saying anything due to his job as an examiner. He talks about his friends and his students and tells embarrassing stories about them, but I don't think much of it because they're funny and they're not about me. It doesn't really register with me at the time, but he is really good at getting other people to pile on and hate the people he hates and really good at destroying peoples reputations behind their back with things that turn out to be total lies. I start to hear him put down Girlfriend2 and say things about her that I know aren't true. I still don't pay attention to it because there are lots of loud guys in aviation who like to brag and make up stories. I continue to think of him as a friend and have even confided in him about something that I am sensitive about and looked to him for advice.

So one day when I'm in town I was hanging out with him and a bunch of people at the Badass Pilot flight school shooting the breeze. After I left I realized I forgot something, so came in the back way through the mechanic shop next door. I heard him talking in his very loud voice so everyone could hear, and that's when I realized he was talking about me. Not only was he talking about me, but he was totally lying about my embarrassing situation, made it totally different and a thousand times worse than what it was, and turned it into something that could potentially end my career. I thought he respected me and was my friend, but he was destroying my reputation and tearing me down behind my back.

Luckily nobody saw me and I slinked out the way I came in. I spent weeks feeling humiliated and betrayed. I reflected on the way I had seen him treat people and started to see things in a different light.

Now, I knew that he had tanked some careers. He has a lot of contacts in the industry, and he has bragged about calling companies that are hiring and telling them not to hire certain people. One of his favorite sayings is that aviation is a small world and you shouldn't burn any bridges because it will come back to bite you in the ass. He bragged several times about bringing people down a peg and making someone he disliked lose a job they had applied for by calling the company owner. Usually he did it because he wanted to take revenge for something he thought they did to him, but he was also jealous of people who graduated college (he didn't) and people who came from stable families (he didn't). He would always talk about how bad his home life was as a child and really try to get people to feel sorry for him. Keep in mind he's an adult in his late 30s.

I also knew that despite becoming more stable with GF2, he had not changed his ways with women. He acted like he respected women in front of GF2. But every time he was off on a trip, and even at his own airport, he could get pretty aggressive with women would push them hard to see how far he could take things.

As an example, he flirted aggressively with the receptionist at the building next door from his flight school. The receptionist was young and relatively new and had no idea Girlfriend2 existed. She (F18 or 19) called the Badass Pilot flight school and left a flirty message for Badass Pilot (M35), totally in line with how Badass Pilot was interacting with her. I was not there, but a witness said GF2 played the message on the machine and made Badass Pilot listen to it. He sheepishly said he had no idea why she would leave such a message, and Girlfriend2 told him in no uncertain terms that he was obviously leading her on, exploiting a young woman, and he needed to stop. Then, instead of taking responsibility for his own actions, Badass Pilot took revenge on the young girl. He immediately complained to the airport manager and got her fired. She ended up packing her stuff in a box and leaving that same day. So, while Badass Pilot is fun to be around as long as you're on his good side, he will F** you up if he thinks you are against him. I knew I had to be careful.

I wasn't sure yet what I was going to do, but I decided I needed to be close in order to get more information. So I sucked it up, pretended I wasn't humiliated and had never heard him talking about me, and spent more days at the flight school when I had time off. Everyone at the flight school was in and out all the time, so sometimes I'd be the only person there and I could easily sit down behind Badass Pilot's desk and start scrolling through his files.

That's when I hit the jackpot.

Badass Pilot was logged into all the same accounts on his desktop that he was on his phone, email, messaging, everything. And boy did he like to text. Now one of the things some of his students complained about was that Badass Pilot would not stop texting, even when he was supposed to be instructing people in the plane. He even lost a few students who were so annoyed by him texting during a lesson that they went somewhere else for lessons. And now I knew why.

Badass Pilot was a sex addict.

That's the only way I can describe it. Some people might describe him as a serial sexual harasser. His entire messaging history was full of cybersex, photos, videos, you name it, it was right there on his computer. I copied everything. I played the videos and recorded them on my phone, I took the snapshots, I took pictures of the texts. I must have spent an hour trying to copy this stuff and I ran out of time because someone came back, so I minimized the tabs and casually left the office.

I enlisted the help of another aviator that Badass Pilot had screwed over and we went through the treasure trove with a fine tooth comb. We had to research the phone numbers to find out who these people were and we classified them into "known aviation" and other. We even found that he was doing the nasty with a couple of people there at the flight school...not quite the family friendly environment everyone thought it was.

It became clear that his cybersex activity made him totally ineligible to be an FAA examiner. Plenty of the texts were just plain sexual harassment from a guy with a lot of power in the aviation industry, flirting with and pressuring young women who were hoping to become pilots for everything from sexy photos to sexual acts, sometimes pretending it was all just a big joke. He had no problems sending dick pics to women. That in and of itself made him unqualified to be an examiner. However, he went even further and had sexual contact with at least one person he tested. This is extremely dangerous because it compromises his ability to evaluate if someone is able to pilot a plane safely. If he is threatened with a lawsuit or criminal charge and has to test one of these women, or even someone they know, he might be coerced to pass an unsafe pilot, which could result in death.

August 2017

My pilot friend and I decide the best thing to do is send the information to the FAA, but we know we have to do it anonymously because our careers could be on the line. So we carefully packaged up a bunch of evidence, sent it in to the FAA office that he reported to, and waited for the fallout.

AND. NOTHING. HAPPENED.

The FAA literally ignored evidence that they had a sexual predator as a pilot examiner. This is a pretty old boys club environment, so maybe not too surprising.

For our next attempt we approached a Young Female Pilot we identified from the evidence who seemed like she tried to stop Badass Pilot when he got out of hand with her. We approached her to see if she would be willing to come forward and tell the FAA about her experience. She basically said all it would do was get her slut-shamed and blacklisted, especially after she heard that the FAA did nothing with our anonymous package we sent in. She said Badass Pilot would most likely ruin her career and nobody would hire her and he would make sure her reputation was destroyed. I had to agree.

Fast forward to 2018: I Make Him Homeless

I thought maybe I should just tell Girlfriend2 about what I had found, but I kept chickening out. I also didn't want to be exposed myself, as I have to protect my career and I was certain Badass Pilot would try to destroy me if he found out. One morning I was sitting in the school playing with the ipad while Girlfriend2 was behind the desk. Wouldn't you know it, she is texting Badass Pilot, who is flying, and Badass Pilot is logged into the flight school ipad I'm using! I can see her messages to him, and I can also see that he had cybersex with someone the night before and that he sent a video of himself masturbating to a student before that! I take photos for evidence, as usual.

Girlfriend2 is reading and not looking up at me so I just mumble something and hand her the ipad with the sexting open full screen as I walk out the door. I wait in the parking lot in my car, and about 10 minutes later, Girlfriend2 leaves the school with the ipad in hand and drives home.

I made sure to be scarce the rest of that day as I didn't want to raise any suspicions about my own involvement. Apparently Girlfriend2 owns the property where they live, so she immediately moved his stuff out and permanently banned Badass Pilot, who started sleeping at the flight school. From what I pieced together that week, Girlfriend2 was so alarmed by the evidence that she demanded that Badass Pilot see a therapist or she would report him to the authorities and he could potentially be arrested. One thing I should mention is that Girlfriend2 has a child, which is important. Badass Pilot was using her child to set up booty calls for himself (set up playdate with another child, have sex with child's mother while kids are paying video games).

Badass Pilot slept on a cot in the flight school, stayed drunk, and looked like a homeless person for a couple of months before he ended up getting his own place.

We also let Badass Pilot's billionaire employer know that he was a sexual predator, as well as a few other people anonymously. I wanted to make sure Girlfriend2 knew all the gory details of Badass Pilot's sexual activities in case she was even considering getting back together with him after he did therapy, so I kept sending her more information anonymously too.

Young Female Pilot kept in contact and apparently had some conversation with other female pilots. Nobody was willing to go on record but they all started sending anonymous letters to the FAA hoping they would at least investigate him.

The next thing I hear is that Badass Pilot is telling everyone that he broke up with Girlfriend2, that she is crazy and trying to destroy his reputation, and that she's sending false anonymous letters to the FAA because she's jealous. From what we could tell, the FAA interviewed Badass Pilot, but nothing happened because he blamed Girlfriend2 for sending the letters. True to form, Badass Pilot also made sure everyone at the flight school hated her and felt sorry that that he was being victimized by her. He also called the police and told them she was harassing him and told them he was banning her from his flight school.

Nothing else happens. This all starts to die down and Badass Pilot is still an examiner. He still works for his billionaire boss as well as a very wealthy owner of a car dealership who also races cars, and he still runs a flight school with plenty of students. Again, he starts sleeping with another student at the school, who will now be named Girlfriend3. Badass Pilot continues to complain to everyone that he has been victimized by Girlfriend2. Badass Pilot gets Girlfriend3 (who has never met Girlfriend2) so wound up about her that she is spitting tacks every time she is mentioned. This is important later.

Fast forward to 2019: WTF?!

Not only has Badass Pilot not been punished by the FAA, but the FAA has INCREASED his responsibilities so that now he can also conduct instrument flight exams for students!

Young Female Pilot stays in touch and we talk periodically, sworn to secrecy, of course. We have a couple of male pilots who are also sworn to secrecy to protect our own jobs. When the FAA promoted Badass Pilot to instrument examiner despite all of the complaints they had received, Young Female Pilot and her friends get really pissed off. They are still unwilling to risk their own jobs, however. (Reader, please don't judge me or Young Female Pilot for this...it is very expensive to become a pilot, easy to get blacklisted by someone at the FAA or someone like Badass Pilot, and then you have no way to make a living or to pay back a huge amount of student loans if you're in debt.)

So we hatch a plan to have her call Girlfriend2 and tell her about the frustrations of the other female pilots in hopes that she will think of something to do. A detail I should mention, Girlfriend2 does not fly for a career, and she has her own business not related to aviation. So Young Femail Pilot calls Girlfriend2 on someone else's phone. Girlfriend2 doesn't know Young Female Pilot and we don't think she would betray her, but the situation is still very risky for Young Female Pilot She discusses how frustrating it is that a serial sexual harasser gets promoted by the FAA with no consequences when the FAA knows about his harassment, and Girlfriend2 agrees that she will try to make information public to protect other women. She agrees to post a review on Yelp and maybe some other platforms.

I do my best to be at the Badass Pilot flight school when this goes down. True to her word, Girlfriend2 posts a very straightforward and factual Yelp review and heads EXPLODE at the flight school! People are forwarding the review on and it spreads like wildfire all over the aviation industry. Think "owner sends messages of himself masturbating to female students." Yikes! And totally true!

Other people have posted unfavorable reviews before, but Badass Pilot has been able to have them taken down, falsely claiming that the review is a fake account or from a competing flight school. But there has been nothing like this that I know of. Badass Pilot and Girlfriend3 (who now appears to be a co-owner of the flight school and who has posted a positive review of the school on Yelp) go into damage control mode. Badass Pilot tries to get Girlfriend2 arrested or at least harassed by his friends at the local police department. He's frantically trying to get the review shut down with Yelp. His brain is literally exploding and I, along with everyone else at the school, am agreeing with him that Girlfriend2 is a total lying, crazy, conniving, vindictive B, and that she needs to be punished.

All while laughing on the inside.

Badass Pilot next engages one of his instructors, who was friends with Girlfriend2, to meet with her and ask her to take down the review, but she does not. Badass Pilot is finally successful in getting Yelp to remove the review a day or two later. The same process also happens with another platform that shall remain nameless.

Badass Pilot gets everyone to bombard Girlfriend2 with hate mail, which makes me glad I am still anonymous. Badass Pilot also tells the instructors at his school that they are not allowed to be friends with Girlfriend2 and they will be fired if they are.

Fast forward to August 2019: Mission Accomplished!

What happened to Badass Pilot:

We later found out that the FAA ended up doing an investigation on Badass Pilot. Finally. Badass Pilot totally lost all of his examiner privileges. On top of that, his flight school had an FAA written testing center, which was also permanently closed. And even beyond that, Badass Pilot can't have any affiliation with the FAA in any way, shape, or form. He can't even host an educational seminar or continuing credits class for the FAA.

While some up and coming pilots and people outside the industry might never hear about Badass Pilot being totally humiliated and losing his examiner status, believe me when I tell you that everyone in the profession knows what happened. And it has got to BURN!

What happened to me:

I am pretty much back to enjoying my time at the airport like I used to. There are still parties and flyouts, and ultimately some people don't care that Badass Pilot sexually harasses women or destroys peoples careers. But he has definitely been taken down a peg, as he likes to say. I just don't trust anything Badass Pilot says and I don't heap on other people he's trying to destroy. I still feel a little twinge of delight whenever I hear Badass Pilot tell new students that he used to be an examiner, but the liability insurance was too high so he quit.

Another thing that I get a chuckle out of is that Badass Pilot has started talking behind Girlfriend3's back. I tried to warn her and even sent her (anonymously, of course) information about Badass Pilot. But so far Girlfriend3 is standing by her man, and I'm just sitting here eating popcorn watching the story unfold again!

TL/DR Friend who is a badass pilot screws me over, I find out he's a sexual perv and get him fired from his job.

(source) story by (/u/flyingmonkey737)

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

We all know Kohga is perpetually horny as hell, but I'd love to see what would happen if he ended up taking (accidentally or otherwise) an aphrodisiac potion. 😆

I've actually had a thought for EXACTLY this idea! Let's get to it!

Revali had once again invited his friends over to his home. It wasn't to bond with them of course, but rather, as a means to show off how well he re-decorated the place. New tapestry, a nice vase, the whole nine yards, all within his humble little space. He was currently giving the princess a tour, feathers all proud and puffed.

“And as you can see, Princess, THIS is the finest vase you’ve ever seen, have you not?”

“It is quite the collection! Though I must ask, what is that one?”

She pointed towards a small, pink vial of liquid. He plucked it from the shelf, scoffing.

“Oh, forgot I left it out here. It’s what we use during this time of year. We call it ‘anti down’, and it keeps us from acting a fool during heat. All Rito have it, but I refuse to act like a dog and hump everything. Unlike your little knight with Mipha."

Revali HATED that Link STILL didn't react to that blatant slander. Cheeky, even in his own home. Zelda butted in between them, as per usual.

"I had no idea you Rito HAD something for heat!"

"Because we're above primitive desires. Unfortunately our biology is so unique, it does the OPPOSITE effect if any other species takes it. I'll be sure to put this a-NO LINK!"

Link was starting to eat the decorated fruit bowl, and Revali put the bottle down in order to try to pull him off. Kohga watched their dumb little fruit fight, when he noticed the smallest bottle on the counter. Must be one of those fancy rito drinks. He made sure no one was looking, before he swiped it, tucking it away in his suit. 

"Hey Revali, I'd LOVE to stay and chat, but uh. I'm bored. So, good luck, and goodbye!"

Kohga gave him a mock salute as a goodbye, though Revali's squawking made sure he didn't hear him leave. Sooga looked down at Kohga, lightly scoffing.

"Those curtains were atrocious."

"He could've picked a better way to come out. Tbh it was more effective than catching him with a dick in his beak."

"Well put, Master Kogha."

He chuckled. He showed Sooga the little bottle, as if he was gloating.

“Plus side, I got myself a little present! You want a swig?”

“Polite pass. I don’t trust drinks that I haven’t seen made, unless made by you. But I must commend your sticky fingers.”

“Hey, you know how good I am with these fingers~. Anyhow, here’s hoping this fucks me up.”

He tossed his head back as he took it in one swig, before shaking his head furiously.

“Oh. Oh. EW. God, YOU make drinks better than this.”

“It must be awful, you hate my drinks.”

“Both statements are true. Ew. Ugh, take me home, I need this taste out of my mouth.”

“Would picking you up make the experience a bit sweeter?”

“Maybe, let’s test it out.”

Kohga grinned as Sooga grabbed his husband, and took him right home. Little did he know, a moment of bitterness, made for a VERY saucy Kohga.

--------------------------------------

Kohga grumbled under his sheets. It was rare, but every once under a blue moon, Kohga couldn’t sleep worth a shit. Tonight was one of those nights. He grumbled as he sat up, folding his arms over his chest.

“Not FAIR. I’m TIRED. What is the issue NOW?”

Kohga threw off the blankets, and saw that he had a bulge in his suit. His frustration melted away to amusement, and he chuckled.

“Ah. Was so grumpy, didn’t notice you there. Alright, alright.”

Kohga thought about bugging his snoozing Sooga, but the poor guy barely got enough sleep as it were. Besides, he needed a bit of self love, been a while. He squirmed out of his clothes, and after grabbing a bottle of lube, got himself nice and snug. He lathered up his hands, and grabbed at his cock, only to wince.

“Ooh, you are SENSITIVE tonight. Okay, easy does it. Easy.”

He got himself used to his touch, and eventually he was able to stroke himself. Unlike Sooga, he always preferred a quick, light pace in his handjob. Kohga tossed his head back, dying in satisfaction. Sure, he wanted to be asleep, but jerking himself off while Sooga rested right next to him? Was it ever sweet. It was surprisingly short lived however, as he found himself cumming way faster than usual. It was good, REAL good, but that was definitely record timing. He sighed, removing his cum soaked hand, and wiping it off on a rag.

“Hoo. That was good. Alright, sleep time.”

Kohga covered himself, and fell right to sleep, the end.

At least, that’s what SHOULD’VE happened. What DID happen was him sitting there, wide awake. He thought it was just his body getting that high from an orgasm, but he’d come to realize that as he sat there, his cock was throbbing, and BAD. It felt even worse this time, and Kohga muttered angrily. Fucking hell, he needed to cum again? So soon? This late? Dammit all.

“Alright. I get it. Round two, let’s go.”

Kohga buried his face in his pillow as yet again, started to pump his cock. It somehow felt even better this time around, and Kohga grumbled to himself, really going at it.

“Shit, okay, gonna be one of those nights apparently. Shit.”

Kohga was trapped in an endless cycle. He’d cum, try to sleep, cum, try to sleep. He reached his fifth orgasm, and his body was trembling something fierce. He was a horn dog, sure, but now he was insatiable. He didn’t want to wake Sooga up, poor guy barely ever slept, especially next to him, but Kohga needed him, and needed him now. He got up from his cum covered spot, and nudged Sooga a bit harshly.

“Sooga, Sooga get up!”

Sooga sprang up, quickly looking around the room.

“What is it?! Are we under attack?”

“No. Just, god shut the fuck up and let me fuck your face.”

Sooga was clearly NOT expecting that, especially so late at night. But he was never one to refuse Kohga. So he laid down on his back, and gave not a single qualm as Kohga held onto his hair, pulled his hair back, and shoved his cock right into his mouth. His Master was aggressive usually, but this was something different entirely. Kohga didn’t even mean to. He just couldn’t help but force himself into that pretty, hot mouth of his. Not once, not twice, but three times. Each time Sooga kept himself still (minus his legs, those pushed and squirmed till he pretty much kicked the sheets off), accepting loads after loads of his Master’s cum, each being bigger than the last. Kohga barely spoke, merely full of grunts and grumbles. Kohga pulled away, seeming to be sated, at least for a second. Sooga’s chest heaved under him, and his cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. He met Kohga’s eyes, and saw helpless, uncontrollable lust.

“M-master Kohga, you’re quite...energetic tonight.”

He paused mid sentence, forcing himself to swallow all that cum, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He smeared it all over, making himself into quite the messy boy. Kohga took a deep breath, trying to recall just where his head was.

“I...yeah. Fuck you’re pretty like this. So pretty. You handle all that cum like a real champ.”

Sooga was about to thank his master Kohga, before he suddenly found his dick right back into his mouth. Sooga’s mouth loved such rough, desperate treatment, soaking Kohga’s dick in his drool. Another load, then another. Sooga thought he’d be tired, but he seemed to only fuck him with more fury as time went on. As Kohga forced more cum inside of his mouth, Sooga had to actually push him away, just to get some means of air. He coughed a bit, trying not to choke on his Master’s cum. While it was a treat, it was just SO much of it. Sooga swallowed again, shaking as the thick fluid sank right into his stomach.

“M-master Kohga, please, a breather, just for a moment-”

“I wanna ride your cock. I wanna cum on it so fucking hard, Sooga.”

“If...that is what is demanded of me-”

Kohga knelt down to kiss him, shoving his tongue in his mouth and licking at whatever cum he seemed to have left in that pretty, pretty mouth. Usually Kohga was far more grandiose in his approach, but there seemed to be no room for that tonight. It was just him slamming himself onto his cock, nearly making Sooga jump every time his ass slammed into him. 

"M-Master Kohga, please slow down! I want to enjoy y-"

"I need your FUCKING cum. I need your pretty cum, right in my ass. Enjoy me later."

Sooga was unable to tame his master. He came on him once, twice, thrice. Each time was met with loads and loads of cum littering his chest and stomach. Kohga laid on top of him, sounding just absolutely exhausted. Sooga held onto his back, assuming this was the end of Kohga’s lust.

"You...god, you're insatiable. What number was that?"

Kohga hummed a bit in thought, before looking up at him.

"T...thirteen."

"Holy-master Kohga, are you ill?"

"Don't...know. I just know I can't sleep, and I know I want you SO fucking bad, Sooga."

"Not sure how much more of me you can HAVE Master Kohga…"

Sooga prided himself in being able to help his master, but this was...so much. His mouth was sticky with cum, his chest was soaked in sweat and cum- he hadn’t recalled the last time he was so absolutely filthy. Sooga was about to prompt Kohga to take a break, when Kohga seemed to spring back to life, cock even harder than he was a second ago.

"Get on your stomach. Let me fuck that cute ass of yours. I always liked seeing my cum leak out of you."

"Master Kohga, I'm honored you want me so, but I think all of this is healthy! Maybe you need a moment to collect yourself-"

Kohga held onto his face, kissing his big, beautiful face. He parted after just a moment, springs of hot cum connecting their open mouths. Kohga nearly shook as he wiped the cum from his lips.

"I NEED you Sooga. I'm aching something SO bad, don't make me suffer like this!"

Kohga sounded damn near to tears in his whining. Sooga couldn’t refuse his poor, desperate master. He rolled to his front, and Kohga was on his back almost immediately, rubbing his cock against that beautiful, plump ass of his. Sooga looked up as Kohga rested his chin on his shoulder, trying to find his thoughts. Despite his concerns, Sooga VERY much wanted him to keep going. Knowing his Master wanted him so hungrily, knowing he was getting cum in every part of him, made Sooga's cock terribly hard.

"J-just. Use me as you see fit, but be careful."

He was going to add more, but Kohga’s teeth aas on his ear, nearly making him melt. Kohga’s breath was hot in his ear, and it made a shiver run up his back. 

"It's cute how you're worried about me. It's cute how you'll sit here and let me fucking use you. You look good in my cum. So good. Now, I love you, but stop FUCKING talking, and let me plow you like a goddamn field."

Sooga felt himself gulping at that oh so sensual voice of his. Sooga couldn’t stop that cock just pushing into his ass, even if he wanted to. 

Which he absolutely didn't. 

------------------------------

"So you and Sooga have one thing in common, apparently."

"We're both handsome?"

Revali had joined Kohga and Urbosa for brunch, and of course, Kohga wanted to start some shit. 

"One, don't you touch my man. Two, no, you both make shitty drinks."

Revali cocked his head, clearly confused.

"I...didn't make you a drink, ever."

"Talkin about that little bottle. Tasted like ass. Actually worse, I've eaten ass."

"Little d-YOU took my anti rito down?!"

Kohga shrugged at the sudden anger from the random look of anger.

"Your….what?"

"My rito-its for my HEAT! Dear Hylia you DRANK it?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"It's supposed to help RITO with heat."

"And what does-oh. Oh. Oooooh that makes a LOT of sense. Huh."

"Is that why he's not here?"

"Oh it absolutely is. Dude can't walk."

There was a moment of silence, before Kohga loudly slumped his drink, sighing.

"I fucked him at LEAST thirty two times-"

"NO ONE ASKED."

“He did. Multiple times-”

“Why do I keep inviting you to things?”

[dappercritter]

Random She-Ra Season 5 Thoughts: THE FINAL RAMBLING

Yep. I finally got all my crazy absurd thoughts about this gay adventure-romance-drama cartoon summarized into one incoherent yet fun to read computer document/article! ...four months after the show itself ended. Oh well, no one’s perfect. Anyways, there are a whole lot more insane observations than ever before, so I had to put it below a link so this thing didn’t back up my blog or any of yours. Hope you enjoy reading through these as much I enjoyed spouting them for no discernible reason other than I felt like it!

-I feel that since is the last season, I ought to talk about an important part of the show that I’ve been putting off: the animation. It’s… okay. It’s definitely smoother than what the original 80’s show and it’s brother series (heheh) looked like, but at the same time it still seems to suffer from similar limitations which causes some distracting moments of stiffness. But other than that, it’s pretty good. It’s no Titmouse or Studio Mir but it looks good and it gets the job done.

         -After all, let’s not forget: “Imperfection is beautiful!”

-Even when things are at their lowest, Adora is a jock with a heart of gold.

-Horde Prime and the Galactic Horde’s aesthetic feels like a mixture of Catholicism, Scientology, Heaven’s Gate, and modern Microsoft, and honestly, that just makes him creepier.

-Speaking of Horde Prime, he didn’t waste any time with destroying Bright Moon. …apparently.

-Furthermore, on the topic of his giant holographic messages, WAS THAT A FREAKING MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MOVIE REFERENCE?!

-Boy, Glimmer and Catra sure got along quickly! It’s almost like they magically understand each other because they both assumed leadership roles and screwed up big time! …I guess.

         -Either that or this season is going to be a speedrun.

-Wow, the Rebellion sure got used to having a once-thought-dead king as well as a known enemy general/abuser running around their camp awful fast, didn’t they?

-Mara’s got a spaceship, a cyber girlfriend, a magic grandma, a dragon, a tragic backstory, AND a force ghost?! Dang, even in death, the girl’s got it all. No wonder everyone likes her!

-(*me looking at the TV rating at the start of episode*) “Why is language in there? Is there surprise cuss words or something in this season?” (*sees Horde Prime seize control of a clone for the first time*) “HOLY FREAKING SH—oh that’s why.”

-Applause to the crew for making the “dinner with Prime” scene for making a meal between a sparkly princess, a catgirl, and alien cult leader feel even more uncomfortable than it had a right to.

-(*me throughout the season whenever a clone was onscreen*) Is that Hordak? Is that him? Is that him? Is that him right there? Oh it is—oh no wait. … Is that h—

-Extra applause for having Glimmer learn from her grey-area wetwipe phase and refusing to sell out her friends again whilst telling the imperialist cult leader where to stick it.

-I would pay a sizeable portion of my life savings to hear what a Scorpia and Swift Wind duet would sound like.

         -In fact, I’d double it if it was just Scorpia singing.

         -Ah what the heck. I would triple it for an entire She-Ra musical!

-As happy as I am to see to see Entrapta interacting with the other princesses again, I have to say that their big reunion left me with some mixed feelings. Here’s a quick rundown:

         -Entrapta, a grown autistic woman, being led around on a leash by non-neurodivergent teenagers—again: that’s bad.

         -The Princesses confronting Entrapta about joining the Horde: that’s good!

         -The Princesses blaming all their problems with the Horde bots on Entrapta’s actions and her hyper fixations alone: that’s bad.

         -Entrapta explaining herself, admitting that she regrets her mistakes, and getting the Princesses to understand that she thinks and communicates differently, but in spite of that, she really does want help find Glimmer: that’s good!

         -Entrapta never gets to call out the Princesses for how poorly they treated her: that’s bad.

         -Entrapta saves the day and goes to space: that’s good!

         -Scorpia and Entrapta still haven’t interacted even though the former is with the Rebellion in the first place because she went to look for her because she is her best friend: …can I go home now?

-How nice! Michah finally got to shapeshift!

         -And he’s rocking that She-Ra outfit to boot!

-So is Darla a back up of Light Hope or do they just run on the same operating system and have the same voice?

-I could watch an entire season of Adora, Bow, and Entrapta going on space adventure in a rundown ship with their custom-made spacesuits, tbh.

-Is anyone else weirded out that Catra’s younger self looked at her in her flashback(?).

         -Actually what WAS happening there, anyhow?

-(*watching Bow’s spacewalk to save Glimmer*) “Is that a Gravity reference?” asked the man who never saw Gravity.

-Speaking of spacewalks, how did Glimmer survive those precious few seconds in space? Does the teleporter teleport a breathable atmosphere too?

         -Also, Catra, WHY did you think it would be a good idea to teleport Glimmer into space? I know you had a plan and the ship was right there but… Ah, never mind.

-Not that I’m complaining but Glimmer’s apology to the rest of the friend squad for her HORRIBLE plan last season went… surprisingly quickly.

-You know as cool as The Star Siblings are, being a quirky band of space-travelling siblings with cool powers and some trans rep to boot, I only have one small problem with them: weren’t there already Star Sisters on Etheria back in season 1?

         -That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about Masters of the Universe characters to dispute it.

-Entrapta confirmed pan, objectum, AND horny on main. Dang girl, you’re gonna have fun whether you got Hordak back or not…

-“The Velvet Glove” is both a menacing and stupid name for a decadent overlord’s mothership.

         -Wait, it’s from the 80’s canon? Oh. That kind of explains it, actually.

-Goshdangit, I wanted Catra to face punishment for her crimes, but I didn’t think that would involve going to evil alien conversion therapy!

         -Nor did I want her to die! For a second. Actually, since it obviously wasn’t going to last I was… weirdly okay with that part???

-Horde Prime seems awfully okay with Catradora. I mean he’s still super creepy and manipulative about it, but also oddly progressive for an evil brainwashing cult leader.

-(*Adora transforms into a She-Ra through seer will*) First of all, called it. Second of all, WOAH MAMA now that’s a glow up!

-Wrong Hordak did not have to be a thing, and yet, I’m glad that he is.

-Hordak remembers the LUVD crystal and Entrapta… Hordak remembers Entrap—! It’s happening! Oh my gosh, it’s happening! Everybody stay calm!

-Wow, Entrapta didn’t have to be so forgiving of Catra for everything she’s done to her but she did. Only I’m not sure if that was Entrapta taking the high road or the low road.

         -Or which road the crew took for that matter.

-I remember when I thought those “Chipped AUs” floating around here on tumblr were just something the fans came up with and that chipping people was not an actual despicable thing Prime does in canon. I miss those days.

-I know it’s not the same as before or the original design, but True She-Ra’s designs and powers? I think they slappin’.

-Hooray, Adora and Catra are finally making up! And it only took four and half seasons worth of communication failures, toxic villainous behaviour, and physical violence for Catra to snap out of it!

         -…We can go back to Entrapdak now, right?

-Poor Elberon. First they unknowingly adopt a double agent then get invaded by the Horde and now they’re getting brainwashed and chipped by the Galactic Horde. They might be a cute village, but they got some pretty lousy security.

-You know it’s cute that Micah is doing his best to be friends with Frosta and get back in touch with his dad-side, but look I can’t be the only one worried about how the local King is a less proactive leader than the princesses or the known war criminal/abuser, right?

-“The Perils of Peekablue” or as I like to call it, “You Thought ‘Boys Night Out’ Caught You Emotionally Off-guard? Hah! Watch This.”

-You know I didn’t think Scorpfuma would be a thing aside that one moment of flirting near the end of season 4, but they really pushed for it to be a thing! This is… actually pretty great! Perfuma’s not perfect, and I would have appreciated giving them a little more time to bond and form some real chemistry, but at least she reciprocates Scorpia’s sweetness instead of rebuffing it in increasingly aggressive fashion.

-I’m not sure what’s more concerning: that Mermista set a boat on fire, that it’s worded like she had a fling as part of some experimental phase, or that Sea Hawk is turned on by this.

-Peekablue might not be real, (I think?) but he is one dapper dude! Female-to-male redesigns could learn a thing or two from him.

-It involved them getting stung and seizuring, but that was a heck of a way to reintroduce Double Trouble! I swear I got watching them cycle through their transformations in some sort of physical reaction.

         -Or maybe that was just me worrying about their wellbeing…

-Okay, I get the Chips are huge, and actually rather clever threat, but how do these characters get chipped in the first place? I get there are chipped people who spread the chips throught the population but where do they get those from???

         -Do one of those Horde Prime drones just sneak behind someone, slap a chip on their nape then hand them a whole bagfull and say, “Beep boop beep, Horde Prime’s Light, blah blah blah. Alright have fun, kiddo”?

         -Or is it some sort of Alien: Covenant deal where they’re just floating around and Lord help you if one sticks to you?

-HOLY CRAP THEY ACTUALLY GOT SCORPIA TO SING! AND SHE WAS GREAT!

         -Oh shoot. Guess I owe the crew twice my life savings now…

-Entrapdak might be what got me into this show, but it’s Double Trouble that kept me around, so you can imagine how happy I was to see them make their grand reappearance!

-Conversly, you can imagine my disappointment when they just disappeared until the finale.

         -And on that note: HOW DID YOU GUYS LOSE DOUBLE TROUBLE?!

                  -You forgot to cherish them, didn’t you?

-So, Scorpia sacrifices herself just after finding a new girlfriend and gaining some newfound confidence, Mermista and Sea Hawk are split up,and Double Trouble didn’t join the main cast. Why can’t you just have fun like a normal cartoon, show?

-Gosh, I love me some shifting title cards!

-Is it just me or did they sneak in some more Annihilation references on Krytis?

         (-Said the guy who was too chicken to watch the movie and just read about it and watched a few clips online.)

-(*audibly sighs*) FINE. I guess I like Catradora now. Are you happy now, SPOP Crew? ARE YOU?!

-Hooray, Catra’s got a emotional support animal! And they’re a shapeshifting magic alien cat. Those are the best kind!

-Is it weird that I knew that weird glowing stuff on Krytis was just magic all along, or was it just not hidden very well. Anyways, I like Krytis. I like that we got to see a truly alien world with its own form of magic.

-Plus, we got a logical advancement of the magic versus science subtheme with magic being Horde Prime’s weakness! Neato!

-Getting back on the “which is worse?” wagon for a second, I don’t know what feels less right: that Wrong Hordak’s big revelation and his resolution to free himself and his brothers and friends from Horde Prime’s control is played humorously, or that Real Hordak should be the one having this moment.

-That bit with Castaspella and Shadow Weaver where she tells Casta about Etheria being a living thing with inherent magical property, or whatever, while we got a peaceful shot of some boar creatures sleeping was actually kind of nice. It would have been nicer though if it wasn’t part of a power hungry abuser’s obvious scheme. If only there was a kindly old witch lady character who was in touch with nature and knew just what to say when someone was feeling downOH WAIT.

-Furthermore… Why did Shadow Weaver and Castaspella need to have romantic tension?

-Seriously though, where’s our Madame Razz quota this season? Where’s my supportive magic grandma timelord at, yo?

-Yup, they speedran this season.

-I’m actually really disappointed we didn’t see more of an intergalactic new rebellion rising up to fight Horde Prime’s forces across the universe. Especially if it meant we got to see more Star Sibling action!

-Again, I adore Wrong Hordak but I keep wondering what was keeping the crew from just bringing in Original Flavour Hordak. (You know, aside from teasing us Entrapdak fans and trying to distract us with a loveable new character in the meantime.) I mean he could have done the whole infiltrating the clone squads and tricking them bit, too.

         -Heck, he could have done the wink, too!

-I’d gleefully point out Loo-Kee’s cameo this season but apparently, they already made some several seasons ago. That’s what I get for not rewatching the 80’s show and training my eyes first.

-(*sees Erelandians*) Are those freaking Toads and Toadettes?

-So, what’s keeping them from just hitting Spinerella’s chip again? Besides emotional baggage and gale force winds, I mean.

-Perfuma coming out of a cave scared out of her wits, demanding to know who’s there, clinging to her friends as soon as they come back, and balling her eyes out is a big, BIG mood.

-Frosta absolutely decking Catra in the face was nestled somewhere between cathartic and excessive.

         -Netossa spraying her with a bottle of water on the other hand…

-Oh, so Greyskull was the name of a Rebel Squad! I think. Meh, the important thing is we got an explanation and it still sounds cool.

-Leave it to a couple of dads to make a secret message out of a dad joke.

-You know I made fun of Light Hope for being creepy, but I swear that avatar from the Spire is even creepier. I don’t know if it’s her face—those dang blank eyes, man—or just that it she’s less animated than the real thing, but it just felt… off.

-Aww, Noelle made Netossa’s princess weakness illustrations! So cute!

-Forget episodes that deserves Emmys, Keston John deserves one for voicing Hordak, Horde Prime, all the clones, and several minor villains and giving each and every single one a distinct voice! Where my king’s respect, eh?

-Yes, Catra you had a small disagreement with Hordak. …Over sending his girlfriend and your “friend” to DIE IN A LITERAL LIVING HELL.

         -Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.

-Why does Perfuma get pressured to get angry and go wild when Entrapta’s the one who’s had it the worst out of all them? Why can’t my gamer girl go berserk, dammit!?

-Okay, but really, how do these fricking chips work??? Are they parasite devices who store Horde Prime’s Baptizing Dew then slowly pump it into their host’s bodies? Do they have their own nervous systems? Are they technorganic? Also, how and why do we need to make these chips are bigger threat then they need to be?

-Horde Prime showing up on Hordak’s throne in grand Killing Joke style and casually throwing shades at his brother’s overblown attempts to impress him is pretty awesome, but it feels strangely underdeveloped. Hordak’s not there to have his hard work insulted and we never got to see Adora have any similar encounter with Hordak here before, so unless you look at it from the perspective of someone who has been here before in the Horde story like Catra it lacks the dramatic weight it should have had.

-Scorpia resisting the chip to save her new friends was pretty great, though.

-I swear, when they got to the scene where Adora and the others figured out that Shadow Weaver was grooming her so she could use her to get to the Heart of Etheria, I was mouthing “You B***H” through the whole thing.

-They really brought back Etherian deep magic just so they had something to make Micah threatening. …okay.

-Okay, the rest of “Failsafe” messed me up, so here’s a rundown on all the other messy thoughts I had while the show ripped my heart and ground it to dog food:

         -Entrapta and Hordak reuniting: Yay!

         -Swift Wind yanking her away before she can get through to him: Boo.

         -Catra encouraging Adora to try and take care of herself for a change: Yay!

         -Adora hurts Catra and she runs away: Boo.

         -Adora finally calling out Shadow Weaver on what an utterly horrible person she is: Yay!

         -Adora resolves to risk sacrificing herself to save the world: Bo—okay, seriously, was all this suffering really necessary, show?

-I know I mentioned in my previous She-Ra random thoughts that I supported Glimmadora, but I am okay with Catradora and Glimbow ending up canon. The only problem I have is how rushed they feel—moreso with Glimbow. With Catradora, the crew had an entire season to make it work again and they took it. Glimbow it feels like they were down to the last few episodes and went, “Oh right, we were gonna do something with these two!” then did their darndest to fit in some chemistry in between all the other stuff going down.

-As ominous as it was, the music where Horde Prime starts hacking Etheria honestly SLAPS.

-Okay, I know everyone is magic or something, but I am legit surprised getting electrocuted in water didn’t kill the heroes right then and there.

-Sea Hawk tries to flirt with his girl even as she’s trying to kill him. Truly, he is a man of taste.

-What do you know, Shadow Weaver can only do good when she’s (canonically!) punch drunk.

-You know a whole lot of this could have been avoided if Holo-Mara was Adora’s mentor instead of Light Hope.

-When I think about it, it was actually really clever to make Horde Prime the final villain for Adora to face: a domineering decadent man who’s been in power forever against a humble emotionally vulnerable compassionate young woman.

         -Not to mention the divide between cult-like oppression and progressive freedom. Or something.

-Holy crap, did the First Ones get a great freaking a Great Old One for a guard dog?!

-So, you guys seriously didn’t bring Angella back to reunite with her family OR mention her all season after the impact her death had on everyone all last season until Glimmer needs a power-up at the last possible minute and then you never bring her up again. That is absolutely a dick move in bird culture.

-Entrapta’s hacker sticker gives me life. Gamer girl gremlin princess forever!

-On the one hand, I’m disappointed that Adora and Catra don’t get to have an awesome couple battle against the security monster and win. On the other hand, Shadow Weaver is finally dead. YAY!

         -With apologies to the writers and especially Lorraine Toussaint. She did splendidly bringing this character to life and even if I hated Shadow Weaver, I adored the effort she put into making her one of the most emotionally complex villains I’ve ever seen.

-Words cannot, will not, and will never describe the pure joy that I experienced when I first saw Hordak’s big scene: standing up to and disowning his tyrant brother, saving Entrapta, declaring his love to her (albeit in a nicely lowkey fashion), and then throwing Horde Prime to his apparent doom Disney style with Entrapta cheering him with sheer glee. GOSH, it was everything I could have hoped for from this season!

         -Now if only they kept the deleted scene where they got a moment to themselves before Prime body-jacked him again like the creepy sonuvabich he is.

-Horde Prime just wouldn’t be a religious villain if he didn’t tell everyone to burn.

         -Bonus points for actually trying to burn the frigging planet.

-Aside from the idea of Adora switching to wearing a She-Ra themed dress everywhere in the future, the future vision was really quite sweet, and seeing Prime step in to ruin it made it all the more impactful.

-Can I just say that it’s absolutely wonderful that the show, for all it’s flaws, said  “**** senseless heroic sacrifices”?

-BREAKING: Lesbian cat finally makes up with her jock ex, has a canon kiss so pure it saves the world!

         -In other news, Catradora fans are still spoiled rotten.

-Wow, look at all those character comebacks they skipped through! Look, there’s the chefs from Dryl, Double Trouble, Huntara, the Horde Trio, Imp, Madame Razz—are you kidding me?!

-Grumbling aside, I actually find the idea of the Horde Trio and Imp getting involved in a G-rated science-fantasy version of the first Hangover movie quite amusing.

-Oh dang, they pulled a Castle in the Sky with the Velvet Glove!

-As nice as it was to see Aodra save Hordak from Horde Prime and destroy the latter through exorcism via sheer compassion, I’m rather disappointed we never got to see She-Ra go full Metal Gear Solid Rising: Revengence on any creepy old cult leaders.

         -Yeah, it would have gone against the “love conquers all” set up, but love takes on many forms, does it not? So, why can it not manifest as cleaving your mortal enemies with extreme prejudice to save your loved ones?

-Furthermore, in addition to Holo-Mara being a better mentor, Hordak raising Adora instead Shadow Weaver could have prevented a lot of similar problems. Maybe. Possibly.

         -Eh whatever, he has a lifetime’s worth of fanfiction to make up for it.

-ENTRAPDAK IS CANON, ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

-And so is Catradora and Glimbow! That’s nice, too.

-Aww, how sweet of them to skip through Catra and Scorpia, and Glimmer and Micah’s big reunions! It’s not like we’ve been waiting forever for this stuff or anything. HahahahAHAHAHDHAHAHFHAFHKSADJHFKAJHDfine.

-And so it all ends with everyone either friends, in love, or both, as heroes decide to make up for it all with a grandiose sequel promising more exciting space adventures we probably won’t see! HOORAY!

-All snarky ranting aside, I actually really enjoyed the finale. It was exciting, heartwarming, and above all it ended on happy, hopeful note without leaving too many frustrating questions unanswered. (*glares with utmost contempt at Voltron and Star vs. The Forces of Evil*)

-You know, this wasn’t bad for a final season, but I think this might have worked better as two seasons. Not in Netflix’s cheap “split a regular 13-episode season in two 6-7 episode long seasons” strategy, but I mean two full seasons with their own storylines leading up to the grand finale:

         -First, one that starts out with Horde Prime’s arrival the downfall of Etheria, focuses on the space adventures, ends with their return to Etheria and gives the characters time to recuperate from season 4.

         -Then, we have one final season that focuses on the Best Friend Squad’s Return to Etheria, Horde Prime’s plan, gives everyone more time to properly reconcile before ¾ of the entire cast gets chipped, sets up a new Rebellion made up of Princess Alliance and former Etherian Horde members, maybe even set up a proper Hordak redemption arc or something, and then our big happy ending.

-On a mostly unrelated note, I also feel that the whole show could have turned out even better if it had been either a dedicated science-fantasy war drama with some levity (like the good Star Wars shows or Avatar: The Last Airbender) or a lighthearted yet empowering slice-of-life action-adventure romcom (i.e. basically a well-made remake of the original show in the style of Adventure Time and Parks and Rec or something).

-My final random thought for this whole thing: we really could have used a triumphant end credits song or something. Aside from obviously recommending Fabulous Secret Powers, I would have also recommended the original 4 Non Blondes “What’s Going On,” a reprise of “Warriors,” Gorillaz’s “We Got the Power,” or (my favourite) Talking Head’s “(Nothing But) Flowers” since the ending scenes remind me of it.

Thanks again to the crew for giving me something to live for and/or complain about!

Now, let’s hope the He-Man reboots do as well...

[ubemango]

commission 5: otiyr!hoseok

note: for anon who was so kind to help me back in November! I am so sorry this took so long to get out v_v;;; ........... I hope you enjoy ;_;!!!!!

note 2: U kno when person A be like *super tough on the outside AND has no Knowledge of baring themselves to someone AT ALL AND!!!!!! IS SOFT TO ONLY ONE PERSON BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY CAN BARE THEMSELVES TO THEM* and then person B be like *I am the only person they can bare themselves to so I try really hard to get them to come out of their shell ONLY IF THEY WANT TO this is a healthy relationship I like to poke at them sometimes, it’s fine*? Yea this is that but make it more pine-y. Best friends to lovers? It’s more likely than you think!

Coach Park blew the whistle. Obviously this meant that practice had finished, but Hoseok was convinced it’s what called upon the bad omen.

The hockey team’s time at the rink ended right at 3pm. This gave Hoseok exactly ten minutes to shower, three minutes to fend off a nagging Yoongi for practice again the next day, and twenty seconds to realize he had one minute to reject Soojin if he wanted to make it to class on time.

He had no idea how long she’d been there. She sat like a flower, right at the edge of the bleachers, cardigan wrought so tight around her shoulders as if to fend off the tundras. He wondered if she was waiting for Jeongyeon—the figure skaters got the rink for the next three hours now—and that is when he made the fateful mistake of catching Soojin’s eye right when he was about to slip through the exit.

“H-Hoseok!”

First, the freeze-up. Hoseok adjusted his gym bag for the sake of fidgeting; he didn’t even get the chance to pretend he didn’t see her, creep away unnoticed. She’s fast, anyhow, hopping over the bench and standing shy in front of him just as he’s turned around.

“Hey,” she greeted.

Hoseok nodded, only slightly pained. “Needed something?”

Behind her, Hoseok watched Jeongguk coming up, wiggling his eyebrows at him right as he passed by and out the door. Flaunting that exit like it was meant to encourage him to stay just a little longer. Hoseok felt threatened. Soojin took no notice.

“Yeah… it’s—well. How are you?”

“Fine.”

(Soojin most likely had no idea he had class at 3:15.)

“Oh! That’s… good. Well—I don’t want to keep you for long, and I-I know… i-it’s kind of sudden, but. We’ve been talking for a while now and I just—wanted to ask if you wanted to—just—hang out, someday. Like go out, or whatever.”

Ah, Hoseok thought sadly, I’m going to die, right here.

The first response he considered was to refute her claim that they’d been talking for a while—Soojin had offered help with chemistry homework when Jimin wasn’t available for tutoring anymore. He wasn’t aware that discussing the halogenations of alkanes over text qualified as the talking stage. That made him feel weirdly old.

Something else he considered: she was very pretty. He could admit to that. Soojin had eyes like raindrops, small ears with moon-shaped studs. An easy gait except for when she was nervous—and she looked very, very nervous.

Soojin was a nice person. Soojin deserved a nice answer.

“I don’t want to,” he said, which was not a nice answer.

He realized this the second Soojin’s gaze dropped to the floor. It reminded Hoseok of those sparkly cartoon girls, the teardrops that teased, never fell. She wouldn’t cry. No one ever cried for him like that.

“Ah—sure, that’s… fine.”

Hoseok never prided himself for being curt. He was just consistent at saying the wrong things, he remembered you saying, and he had lecture starting in less than a minute. Combine all these together, mix in the inability to read a situation properly, and you got the everlasting unease of being Utterly and Ridiculously Fucked. He felt very pained now.

Hoseok watched Soojin fidget again, shifting her stance. Contemplating that exit Hoseok just wanted to go through.

He was supposed to say something now.

“You can delete my number, if you want. I don’t mind. You don’t need it anymore, right? Since we already handed in that assignment.”

She was quiet. Slowly, Hoseok watched her face transform into what he could only guess was unabated anger. Her nose scrunched.

Then she slapped him.

Hoseok, holding his cheek (which did not ache at all, Soojin wasn’t strong like that), watched her stomp out, shoving the doors open with an animosity he didn’t think she had.

He was most definitely going to be late for class.

.

.

.

The astrophysics study commons is a quaint, aggressive space. There’s posters of Saturn and chalkboard lining the walls with confusing equations scribbled in white and at least five people arguing about velocity in the corner farthest away. This is where people find answers and actually make sense of situations. Hoseok  discusses his tragedy here for this exact purpose.

You sit back in your chair, playing with your slide rule. “She text you after?”

“Nope.”

“Did you want me to give my opinion?”

“Sure.”

You slap him.

“What—!” Now Hoseok has had plenty of time to dwell on his follies last night. But a second time? He wonders if he actually deserves good things in his life. He rubs at the poor spot on his cheek. “You didn’t need to resort to violence!”

“You’re so stupid!”

It’s not unlike you to tell it as it is. He’s known you for seventeen years now, the nicest thing you’ve ever said to him was back in fourth grade when you’d called him a good co-parent of your pet caterpillar. “Damn.”

“I mean you’ve always been bad with these things but I didn’t think you’d do something like that.”

“Like what?”

“Be a complete asshole,” you deadpan.

“I didn’t think it was that bad—“

“You told her to delete your number!”

So it was a bad move. He recognizes this. “It’s not like I don’t feel bad.”

The silence lingers as you catch your breath, watch him pensively. Something about the speed of light is being discussed in the background. He feels weirdly exposed.

“I want to try something,” you say finally.

Hoseok’s eyes narrow at you. “What.”

You stare at him blankly. For a second he thinks you’re going to slap him a second time, but instead comes—

“Hoseok, I really like you.”

The coldest, startling feeling runs up his spine. He reflexively says, “That’s disgusting,” and comes to the conclusion that the universe hates him.

“See! You can’t just say that!” You squawk.

“Why not?!”

“What if I had secret feelings for you that had been festering for years and you broke my heart?!”

“Do you?” Hoseok says, slightly alarmed.

“Wha—would you be mad if I did?”

“I would be mad if you did.”

“See, that’s what I’m saying. You’re so mean about feelings.” He watches you focus on the chalkboard behind his ear. He briefly remembers drawing a loopy spaceship on it. “Look. I’m gonna pretend to be a girl confessing to you, and I want you to be more—sentimental. Okay?”

This is the weirdest thing about you. For someone so annoyingly logical about science, you still somehow kept in touch with romance. The dewy-eyed. Everything Hoseok didn’t know. He remembers junior year and the slow dance with Yubok, and how he accidentally fumbled his knuckles against her back—too low, she’d whispered harshly—and how you’d come back from hiding behind one of those big planters near the entrance, looking sparkly and gentle, mussed up, and somehow he knew you were having the best night of your life, and he’d just accidentally ruined his. He remembers that he has never been cut out for this.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Hoseok sneers, thinking about how the universe loved you.

“Too bad,” you say. “I’m gonna start. Hoseok?”

He might get smacked a third time if he doesn’t comply, so he replies, “Yeah?”

You feign shyness. Casting your eyes down, fidgeting with your shirt. “I-I… Well, I just wanted to… tell you something.”

“Sure,” he says.

Your timidness slips into anger in a blink. “I said be sentimental!”

“What—did you want to tell me?” He tries again, shrinking.

“I think—Well, I think you’re really cute—and—“ you cross your arms, and he so badly wants to yell at you to stop— “and… I was wondering. If. You wanted to grab coffee sometime?”

His answer rolls down his tongue too fast for him to catch. “No,” he says flatly, and instantly he flinches to block your slap against his arm.

“Hoseok!”

“I can’t take this seriously.”

“But I want you to be in tune with your feelings,” you whine.

“I’m plenty in tune with my feelings,” he argues. “And I’m feeling invaded right now.”

“There’s a good two feet between us right now.”

“You’re breathing in my direction, it’s enough.”

You ignore this, and reach for his hand lain flat on the table. “How does this feel?”

Surprisingly, the first word that comes to his mind is safe. But that is not a safe response. “Feels—like you’re holding my hand?”

“Ugh. Just—look into my eyes,” you urge next.

“Okay.”

They don’t curve into softness like Soojin’s does. Your gaze is hard, strikes him so hard it’s almost mortifying. Then your hand squeezes his. He discovers that he likes it.

“I really like you, Hoseok,” you say, oozing sweetness in your voice. Subdued, something you were not. Hoseok wants to throw up. “So please just consider me, okay?”

He nods, speechless.

You revert right back to your previous stance and let go of his hand. It’s almost like a betrayal. Hoseok wonders why his heart is leaping. “So how was that?”

“You’re so fucking weird,” he spits.

“I’m helping you. Look. Let’s make it a thing! I’ll teach you how to be romantic and all that stuff.”

“I’m not trusting the expert of Tiger Beat romance, thank you very much.”

You ignore his quip. “You’re a good guy, Hoseok. Soojin might’ve come on a little too strong and so did you but—really! You’re a good guy! Who deserves love and stuff because it’s just nice to have!”

Hoseok sighs. It’s not that he hated the idea of being in love, he just couldn’t help but be unavailable. Pre-occupied. He said things he didn’t mean. You know this about it him.

“Fine.” And before you can cheer, he adds, “But don’t… tell anyone about this.”

“But the big scary hockey man getting slapped by the tiniest person on campus story is so—“

“Don’t push it,” he says.

“Whatever.” You snort. “Yes, fine, it stays between us. Yay! Okay. Tomorrow I have a study group so we might need to meet up two days from now, let me check my schedule…”

You grab your planner from your bag, scanning the pages. Hoseok has the vaguest feeling that he’s in trouble.

[beyoncesdragon]

Runaway

Pairing: MinhoxReader 

Warnings: swearing, some fighting and major asshole Minhoe 

Summary: When Thomas, a Greenie no longer than 3 days is promoted to a runner, and you who trained for month now, is being overlooked, it leads to a confrontation between you and Minho. A confrontation much needed, on top of that.

My Masterlist 

(Gif credits)

The sun hadn’t risen all too high when I reached the spot in front of the huge doors into the maze, dropping into the still wet grass. I leaned against the black stone wall and crossed my arms over my chest. I was properly pissed off to say the least. So pissed off that I even managed it to get up in that unholy hours of the morning, about one or two earlier than I, currently working as a Med-Jack, should get up. 

Currently because I was working hard on being able to change my task in the maze from Med-Jack to Runner. But observing the current course of things it looked like I could forget that. My head snapped up as I heard steps approaching me. My eyes immediately locked with a pair of brown ones, belonging to the keeper of the runners. 

Minho, the tall Asian with strong arms and short, black hair leaded the runners since I arrived in the maze and had intrigued me since then. He was rather aggressive in his way of engaging in a conversation, having a strong tendency to be extremely sarcastic. He was famous for his habit of always having the last word at any argument or debate and his quick ways of cornering you with arguments until you had to admit that he was right. But he had, through his sarcasm probably, the best senses of humour amongst the Gladers, and got along with everyone basically. Except for maybe Gally from time to time, but I assumed that this was only because the two were both hotheads. So no one could really blame me for feeling attracted to him, right? But now, now I could’ve punched him in his pretty face.

“Morning shebean…why are you up already?” Minho greeted me with a weird expression on his face. He probably knew exactly why I was here and not looking particularly happy. “Good morning Minho. I just wanted to check if what I heard is right…that you take a Greenie out into the maze.” Thomas next to him froze on spot, perfectly well hearing the bitter lilt I had purposely added to my spat out words. Minho tensed up a bit waiting for me to continue.

“So, how is he allowed to become a runner after not even being here for a whole week?!” Minho’s shoulders slumped down a bit before he fixed his posture again. “Listen…I get that you are maybe upset about that but can you not make a fuss now please? Thomas and I really need to go and…” I snorted angered.

“Why not? Why not make a fuss Minho? Listen I trained for the last two months to be in his position and – no offense Thomas, I really like you and you are a shucking fast runner and cute and all – but I have been here longer!” I hissed angrily, mimicking Minho’s pose by crossing my arms over my chest as well. Thomas threw me a puzzled look.

“No...no offense taken. But you…you think I’m cute?” Thomas asked, eyes wide. Minho rolled his eyes taking my attention from the Newbie again.

“Now Minho? I worked my shucking ass off for two whole months to be here okay? I worked as Slicer, in the Blood-House, as a builder, as everything really, just so I could one day qualify as a darn runner. Wouldn’t you be pissed off as well? Listen, if you don’t want to have me in the team then just say it right away before I embarrass myself further by exercising every damn day for it!” My blood was boiling as I finished my speech, staring angrily at his annoyingly pretty face. What I was telling him was all true and he knew: I had gotten up earlier to run rounds so I stay fit, get faster and more persistent every morning. I had learned to read the sun to find out how late it was or where I was. I had learned it all, just to be replaced by a Greenie, who was hardly three days in the Maze by now.

“It’s not even about that! It’s just that you…you just…” Minho started, but he seemed a little less confident in his arguments. That somehow made me even angrier. “That I what? Am a girl? Not fast enough? Spill Minho, don’t dare to come up with a lame excuse like not being able to expand the cadre by one more member!” I could see him slowly getting fed up with this situation, maybe with me. But I was so angry by now that I couldn’t get myself to the point where I would care.

“Can you at least listen to me, shebean!” he hissed annoyed, stepping a step closer, glaring down at me.” I pouted offended, trying my best not to feel too distracted by his close proximity.

“Shoot, runner. Tell me why I am not good enough.” I pushed out and he snorted irritated. “Good gods it’s not…it’s about you having to be able to defend yourself in a proper way!” I frowned up to him.

“I can defend myself? I learned how to handle a spear a dagger and even a gun…” he just shook his head. “Oh yeah? So how would you react if I would suddenly go crazy? What if we were in the maze and I got stung…and the poison makes me attack you? Come on, show how you handle that!” when he before seemed passive-aggressive, then he now went fully hostile. Handing me one of his knifes, he drew another one before starting to circle me. With a sudden leap, he tried to surprise me and I could block him in the last moment. Minho was fast, incredibly fast actually. He had me quickly on the ground, pressing me down onto the cold grass. With a serious glance down he rose his arm and it looked like he would actually try to stab me. I could dodge the blade quickly, and tried to roll out of his reach, but Minho was again, faster than I was. Suppressing a wince I blocked another stroke. I could slowly fear a form of fear creep up, since he seemed to be determined to hurt me.

“What the shuck is going on here?” Newt’s voice made Minho stop for a few seconds. I glanced up at him, seeing how other people slowly gathered around us.

“I’m just proving a point.” Minho pushed out, looking back at me. Then, completely out of the blue, Minho just absolutely remorseless pressed his blade against my throat. I managed it somehow to push him away, but he had quickly found his spot again, this time pining my arms down as well.

“Minho stop now, it’s okay. We got it, she got it as well. Calm down.” Newt mumbled, giving me a quick and slightly confused glance.

“Alright.” Minho jumped off me, knocking the dirt off his pants. “How you see, you aren’t exactly prepared for the maze in this way. Now step aside, we already are late, should’ve left half an hour ago.” His tone was harsh and cold and I could only stare at him. He couldn’t be bloody serious, could he? With a gulp I turned away, rushing off in anger and with tears in my eyes.

How dare he? How was that stupid exercise anyhow proof that I was ready for the maze or not? Looking back at it, I was convinced more and more, that he had done this solely because he just really needed a reason to turn me down. And that hurt, especially because he did it like that.

When Thomas and Minho returned from the maze in the evening and came for check-ups into the med jack hut, I left the tent immediately without giving them a hint of attention. The anger, that had cooled down just very slightly during the day, boiled up the second I saw Minho approaching. I heard Minho sigh softly, calling my name out but I was already gone. I had no intention to talk to him anytime soon. Not tonight at the bonfire, not after the bonfire, not tomorrow and not in a week. Preferably not ever again.

“What’s up with you?” I looked up to Gally, holding a bundle of wood in his arms. “Minho’s up.” I answered, following him to the pile of already stacked wood for tonight. “Wanna talk about it?” Gally offered, dropping the wood down. I shrugged. “There isn’t much to talk about really. He’s just acting like a total shank and I can’t deal with it I guess.” Gally laughed softly, patting my shoulder.

“That he is. I heard what happened this morning at the doors. Wasn’t cool, not at all.” I shrugged bitterly, tossing a piece of wood onto the stack. “Guess everyone heard about it. And the rest saw it live.” Gally sighed, giving me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry about that.” I waved him off. “Don’t be. There is no reason for you to be sorry about it, you weren’t acting like a dick.”

“Light him up!” Alby shouted and several burning spears were thrown at a high wooden stake with a bulls’ skull on a pole. The chanting set in and I let my eyes wander over the seemingly all happy gladers around the fire, avoiding a certain section around the fire where the runners were standing. “You want something to drink?” Gally offered, handing me a jar of liquor. I shrugged, taking a few gulps just to feel the bitter alcohol numb my tongue immediately. I wanted to hand him the jar back, when I suddenly realised that Gally was no longer next to me. Instead, Minho had taken his place quietly, looking down at me.

“Still mad?” he asked carefully, reaching for the liquor but I pulled back. He sighed. “So you choose to ignore me now? For how long do you think this’ll work out?” I huffed frustrated, giving him an angry glare.

“You seriously think, you deserve anything less? You humiliated me in front of almost everyone, for no reasonable aim at all. Let’s face it Minho, you just don’t want me on the team.” I spat out, causing him to run his fingers through his hair with an irritated growl.

“Oh can you lay off of it already! I told you…” “You started it! Go and blame yourself, you miserable liar.” I chimed angrily, my fists clenched. “Liar? Oh I am a liar now as well?” Minho argued back, his jaw clenching. All the voices suddenly quieted down, and I could feel everybody’s eyes on us. But I again, was too angry to care.

“Yes! Admit it Minho, no one would have to fight like this in the maze. You know exactly that I could never stand a chance against you. You just wanted to be sure that you had another reason why I wasn’t qualified!” Minho snorted. “Oh really? Is that how you think I…do you know what?” his eyes were blazing of anger, a vein pulsated at his neck and his whole body was tense.

“Yes. Yes, you are right. I knew that I would defeat you and I did try to make sure you weren’t qualified for it.” Though, I kinda expected it to be like that, his bluntness still surprised me. And it hurt me quite a lot.

“W-what?”

But he wasn’t quite done yet. “You wanna know why? Because being a runner is so much more than just having a good sense of direction, high endurance or being fast. It is being able to think rational, to realize when you can take care of someone you care for, or when you have to leave him or her behind, knowing that else you wouldn’t make it back. It’s about being a loyal friend but never, not once look back in hazardous situations and just run, never stop until safe.” I gulped nervously, feeling my confidence and anger melt away.

“But…but what do I have…?” I stuttered, stepping back carefully. Minho immediately followed up.

“You wanna know why or how this is affecting you? It is because I am a quite…selfish person. I could neverthink rational if you were with me, I could never leave you behind in the maze when you were injured. I would always look back to make sure your dumbass is safe and alive. And I could never forgive myself if something happened to you.” my eyes widened, thoughts of confusion and disbelief rotating in my brain.

“Does that mean that you…I mean…?” He suddenly looked resigned. “I care about you. Quite a lot actually, because I, how you maybe figured, like you. If you would excuse me no-…” he never managed to finish his now unsure trail of words, because I cut him off by leaping up and pressing my lips against his.

“And you hadn’t had the balls to just tell me? I like you too, slinthead. This could’ve been so easy…” Minho said nothing, a bright look in his eyes. Then suddenly, he pulled me up again, placing his lips back on mine. I could feel his lips turn up into a smirk before we parted again, and he brushed over my lips with his index finger. “Guess I don’t only run away from grievers love. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not particularly brave…” he ushered amused, tilting his head.

“But it still doesn’t change a thing.” I narrowed my eyes. “You stay in here, doll. Can’t have you out there.” I hit his chest in response, making everyone chuckle. The only difference was now that I understood why. 

I still wasn't fully convinced though...but for now I would accept my fate. For now. 

[rougerebelle]

Ok it‘s 6:44 and I am not able tonwatch skam france live cause funnily enough I live in the same time zone as France and kinda nedd to sleep at night. Non europeans must be excited.

That was cute🥰 and cringey 😬

Still love Max and Tiff and Lamif. 🥰 kinda liking Baby daddy Aur. Supposedly someone in the tag used aggressive but I‘m loving his daddy Lion thing. When it‘s your kid you stop giving two shits about everyone and everything but their wellbeing so I‘m rooting for him wanting to be there for his child.

La mif going „but we are family“ and Max‘s „exception“ thing? Criiinnggeee it looked so cheesy. Was this supposed to majorly remind me that these are kids? But this is something I feel 13 year olds may say? Surely they should know to stay outside and patiently wait for the babies parents to deal with it?

I‘m wondering if this will be the source for trouble to get into hellweek? Tiff has to basically be an adult now and deal with motherhood (something that even adults struggle with) and her friends are living their teenage lives? So far I haven‘t seen that being a huggeee issue minus the partying bit?

I‘m loosely watching this as in i’m nowhere near invested in it than usual skam seasons but it‘s such a weird season. It‘s enjoyable but kinda feels like a different show. Like all the characters minus Jo feel like totally new people. The whole pregnancy denial was also judt a kick starter rather than the topic, which seems to be teenage pregnancy and even then, she is struggling, yes but she is also in such a privileged position too. Anyhow the premise of it all still feels weird but it‘s a fun watch. At least the last writers are out who think a story can only work if they torture their characters, loved s6 but it really was overkill. Anyhow end of ramble.

[missmonsters2]

Look My Way

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader/OFC

Prompt Request: @marvelouschloe 💗 - 6: We’re not just friends, and you fucking know it. - 7: I guess that’s my fault for loving you.

Notes: Hi, I love Wanda. Also, she can top me. That is all. 

Warnings: S A D N E S S

Count: 3219

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

When Wanda first met you, she was kind of standoff-ish. In her defense, she had just lost her brother and nearly helped a homicidal AI destroy the world.

There was a lot of guilt she was riding on.

But it was you. You were the one to help her through the grief and get her to stop beating herself up.

You were just a barista in the compound hired by Tony. You were surprised when he had first hired you (you were kind of a sarcastic asshole, but maybe he liked that?)

If Wanda were truly honest with herself, she would say she was entirely, irrevocably in love with you. I mean, how could she not? She really vibed with you, you could return any sarcastic comment she made. You were so sweet to her and took no shit from anyone.

You had made Bobby from IT’s coffee scalding hot, causing him to burn himself when she told you that he made a passive-aggressive comment about Wanda being destructive.

You kept doing all these things for Wanda, she fell head over heels for you so fast. You were really possessive of her, definitely didn’t like it when other people flirted with her, or if she flirted with other people.

You kept chalking it off as that none of these people were good enough for her, that she deserved better. It was these things that made her think that you love her too.

Except there was only one problem.

You were dating someone else. 

It was fine.

It was just kind of confusing.

Wanda had finished her training with Steve for the day and was currently making it down to the main level to get some coffee from you. She saw you from a distance, you were pouring coffee for someone, smiling politely while the customer blabbered on about his day to you. A wisp of hair gently fell off behind your ear as you finished pouring and gave the person his coffee and sent him on his merry way.

She approached you, reminding herself to breathe slowly.

“Hey!” You excitedly greeted her as she approached you, the counter separating you two.

“Hey,” Wanda greeted back with a soft smile.

“How was training?” You asked, leaning over the counter with your elbows resting against it as you tilted your head.

Wanda shrugged, “I can kick Steve’s ass when I can use my powers, but hand-to-hand is something I’m still working on.”

You merely nodded your head at her, smiling as you stood back up and grabbed a cup to start making her coffee.

Wanda always asked you to make her whatever you felt like giving her so the majority of the time, the coffee was always different.

“Well, at least you can kick Captain America’s ass anyhow,” you teased her and Wanda smiled.

“What do you have planned for the rest of the day?” You asked her as you focused on her drink.

Wanda tilted her head as she considered her plan for the day.

“I have another training session with Natasha after,” Wanda says while you look up at her with a cocked brow.

“Training again?” 

Wanda nodded, lifted up her fingers and bringing forth small red wisps of her power.

“Stamina training.”

You nodded before you finished up her drink, sliding it over the counter to her. Wanda took the cup and inspected it. On the sleeve of the coffee was a cute drawing of herself, hands lifted with what she assumes is her powers coming out of her hands.

It was so cute.

Wanda grinned before she took a sip, humming at the taste in approval. 

“Pumpkin and cinnamon?” She questioned, and you nodded.

“Thought it would suit the start of fall, your favorite season.”

Wanda merely continued to grin, taking another sip of her drink. “What are you doing after work?”

You were wiping your hands on your apron as you answered her.

“I’m seeing my girlfriend tonight. I’m pretty excited. It’s been a while since we’ve both been free to spend time together.”

Wanda immediately felt the stab of disappointment and jealous pool in her chest. She swallowed and forced a smile.

“That’s great,” she tells you. “Well, I have to get going for training now. I’ll see you later.”

You barely get a nod in before Wanda is already walking away. 

It’s stupid, Wanda thinks.

She has no right to feel so jealous when she knows that you’re with someone else. 

So what if you’re nice to her? So what if you make her a different coffee every day and don’t charge her? So what that you draw silly things on her coffee sleeves?

So what if when you look at her, it feels like a million fireworks are going off in her stomach and she swears she might never love anyone else like you again?

Wanda sighs, eyes fluttering closed for a second as she makes her way to the training room.

She needed to get her shit together; otherwise, it was going to be painful every time she was with you.

But Wanda was no stranger to pain.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Wanda groaned as she entered through the door to her room, trying to stretch her arm as she used her foot to shut the door behind her.

God, she was going to be sore tomorrow.

Natasha did not go easy on her. Her mind felt exhausted, and her limbs felt numb. She couldn’t even believe that it was already so late in the evening. 

At least Natasha was kind enough to give her some breaks in between and gave her snacks, but she was definitely starving now. 

Wanda decided to take a quick hot shower to help her muscles first. When the hot water hit her, she groaned in content, letting the water run down the palm of her hands, down her arms, before it would hit her chest.

Her mind wandered to you.

Were you currently with your girlfriend? Was she kissing you passionately to make up for all the time apart?

The thoughts were twisting her gut, so she immediately tried to shut them out.

Her shower finished without any other incident. Walking out while driving her hair with a towel, she opened the fridge, pulling out the leftover pasta she had stored in there. 

The night was filled with her watching TV and eating her pasta quietly. She thought about maybe watching one of the TV shows you had recommended to her. After she lost her parents, she didn’t spend time watching TV, too busy being angry and being a part of the protests. After that was working with Hydra, and it wasn’t like they gave her a lot of TV time. 

Just before she was going to change the show, someone was knocking at her door. 

Confused, Wanda put her bowl down and got up walking over to the door.

Maybe it was Steve or Natasha who wanted to talk to her about training?

Wanda opened the door and was surprised to see you staring there, shoulders slumped, eyes puffy and red with tears streaming down your face.

Wanda immediately pulled you in, concern written all over her face.

“Hey, hey,” she coos quietly to you as you hiccup. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Wanda put her hands at the side of your shoulders as you took a shaky breath and looked at her so pitifully.

“I got dumped,” you tell her. 

The shock hits Wanda.

What?

Your girlfriend broke up with you?

There was a mix of emotions going on in Wanda. 

Anger because someone hurt you.

Confusion because who the hell would ever break up with you?

And finally, a small pinch of happiness that made Wanda feel so guilty for feeling it.

Wanda immediately pulled you into her arms, cradling your head to her as she rubs your back up and down. You cry miserably into her shoulder and neck, hands coming up to grip her shirt.

“I’m so sorry,” Wanda tells you in your ear. The accent is comforting to you. “She’s so incredibly stupid for letting you go.”

“She didn’t even tell me why,” you say between the hiccups. “How could she do that to me?”

Wanda doesn’t have an answer, just stands there and strokes your head as she whispers something in your ear in Russian that you can’t understand, but it’s comforting.

Eventually, Wanda brings you over to the couch, sitting the two of you down she sits against one side of the couch before bringing you down to rest between her legs. She grabs the blanket the was folded on the backrest and puts it over the two of you.

She holds you underneath, stroking your arm as you lay on her chest. Wanda puts on your favorite show, and the two of you sit and watch in silence.

Eventually, your crying subsides as you rest against Wanda, the feeling of her rubbing your arm puts you to sleep eventually.

Wanda feels your breathing even out as you sleep, taking a look down to see your sleeping face and smiles slightly. 

Turning off the TV, Wanda lifts you up and carries you carefully to her bedroom, using her powers to help a little. 

She gently places you on one side before sliding into the other side next to you underneath the blanket. Wanda lays on her side, leaning up on her elbow with her head in her hand as she regards you.

Slowly, she leans down, kissing you gently on your cheek before she cuddles up next to you, pulling the blanket just up to her cheek.

Wanda looks at you one last time before she closes her eyes, making unspoken promises.

She would treat you better, would love you better than anyone else. 

And she would never, ever hurt you.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The following week, you and Wanda were inseparable. She was your rock, the only thing getting you through this painful heartbreak. Wanda was entirely too sweet with you, and everyone was noticing. 

Wanda was getting bolder and touching you more often and intimately, but you believed that was the only way she knew how to comfort you.

And well, you didn’t complain. You would rather her hold you than try to find words to say it was going to be okay. 

It was weird.

You still felt like you were dying from being dumped so abruptly from your ex. But occasionally, your heart would flutter, or you’d feel butterflies when Wanda touched you, looked at you like...like...you didn’t know how to explain it. 

You weren’t sure why that was happening. Sure, you always thought she was attractive, but you hadn’t felt anything more than friendship towards her when you first met her.

You were good friends, you reasoned.

Sometimes when your friend is really attractive and treats you good, butterflies happen.

It was fine. 

Nothing wrong with that. 

Wanda, on the other hand...God, there was nothing to describe the euphoria she was experiencing currently. Everything was going so well. 

Yes, you were heartbroken, but you were receptive to everything Wanda did. 

You didn’t object when she held your hand or cuddled you, held you a little too long when hugging. You didn’t object to the soft strokes on your cheek or say anything when she pressed her lips against your cheeks. 

In fact, you seemed to enjoy it with the soft blushes you would get with everything.

That had to mean something, right?

Still, Wanda had held back on confessing to you. It was too soon, she thought. You just got out of your relationship, and you were vulnerable, and Wanda wasn’t going to take advantage of that. 

So for now, this was enough. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It was another two weeks that Wanda thought about maybe confessing to you now. You seemed oddly uplifted lately.

Maybe that meant you were finally over your ex.

You had been staying overnight a lot at Wanda’s, and she would usually find you in her bed by the time she would come home from training. 

She liked it. The domesticity of it all. 

She liked coming home to you.

Natasha had given her a break today, ending the session earlier so Wanda could come home and have dinner with you. She bought some groceries, hoping to cook you something.

She was planning a romantic dinner before she told you she was in love with you.

The thought of it all made Wanda so giddy, she had to bite her lip from smiling too wide.

Wanda pressed the keycode to her room, opening the door to find the living room area empty.

Wanda called out your name but didn’t hear you reply.

She hummed. Where could you be? You did text her earlier that you were home.

She put down her groceries and walked around. You weren’t in the bathroom or her bedroom, so you’ve been on her balcony.

Walking out, she did see your figure standing on the side. Smiling, she softly opened the door to not surprise you as it looked like you were on the phone.

She only caught the end of the conversation, but it was enough to stop her in her tracks. 

“No, it’s fine. I gotta go. See you soon. I love you too, baby.

You hung up the phone, turning around before jumping when you caught Wanda standing there.

“Oh my god, you scared me!” You exclaim, hand to your chest to calm your beating heart as you exhaled.

Wanda merely stared at you. She stares at the phone in your hand.

“Who were you on the phone with?” She asks. There’s a pit forming in the bottom of her stomach because she just...knows.

But she didn’t want to believe it.

You smile at her.

“Actually, I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” you tell her, putting your phone into your pocket. “My girlfriend and I got back together yesterday night. She has been messaging me since the breakup, and I finally agreed to meet her yesterday. She told me she freaked out about how serious she was starting to feel for me and...I don’t know. I guess I understood where she was coming from. I guess her begging helped too.”

You chuckled, but Wanda was not amused.

Everything she feared was coming true. 

She thought back to the last couple of weeks, and everything just exploded inside her.

“Why?” She demanded you. “Why the hell would you take her back? She doesn’t deserve you!”

You rear back from the bite in Wanda’s tone, the surprise taking over you. You feel a little defensive. 

“Why are you so angry?” You ask her, trying to remain calm.

“I’m angry because you came to my door three weeks ago, heartbroken and devastated because she abandoned you. After three weeks of you crying on my shoulder and trying to move on, you suddenly take her back? That’s bullshit!” Wanda throws back, and you frown deeply.

“I’m going to tell you something no one wants to hear, Wanda,” you tell her, your voice cracking. “Long-lasting relationships require a lot of forgiveness.”

“That’s not the point I’m getting at,” Wanda tells you frustratedly.

“Then what is it? Was I wasting your time? Well, I’m sorry you had to be there for me, but that’s what friends do!” You throw at her.

“I don’t want to be just your friend!” Wanda yells you, and you’re frozen.

“Wanda--”

“I love you,” Wanda confesses, voice quieter this time, tears ushering to her eyes.

You’re silent, heart-thudding in your chest.

“I’ve always loved you,” Wanda breathes. “I don’t want you to choose her. Choose me because I would never break your heart. I would never doubt my feelings for you. I would never send you crying into someone else’s arms. Choose me because we’re not just friends, and you fucking know it.”

You swallow hard because was that true?

You think back to the last two weeks and screw your eyes shut. The back of your throat is burning.

“We’re friends,” you say finally. 

Wanda scoffs.

“Don’t lie to yourself,” she nearly sneers at you. “You know as well as I do I would never treat a friend the way I treat you.”

You don’t respond, and it makes Wanda angrier with you.

“You’re in my bed every night. It’s me that you press your body up against every night, my hand that you hold, and me that you wait for every day. You know deep down that you’ve already chosen me, so don’t put us through this by choosing her.”

Wanda is nearly pleading you at this point, desperate for you to see that you belong together. She wants you to see that you’re so close to the happy ending that you deserve, on your way to the greatest love adventure of your life. 

You’re clamming up because the truth is, you haven’t given yourself a chance to see Wanda like that. You’ve always seen her as a friend, a really attractive, caring, and attentive friend that makes your heart flutter sometimes.

But you’re also happy that your girlfriend came back to you. She’s what you know, what you’re comfortable with, who you’ve thought about.

“I can’t choose you,” you say, breaking the long silence. 

The words break Wanda’s heart. It feels like she’s dying all over again. She releases a huff of air unbelievingly from her mouth.

“I should’ve known better,” she says, mostly to herself. “You accepting my affections and even reciprocating them doesn’t mean anything. I wanted to believe that I meant more to you too. Just because I believed I would never hurt you didn’t mean you wouldn’t hurt me. I guess that’s my fault for loving you.”

Wanda had her arms crossed with her eyes closed, head titled slightly downwards as she shook her head as if to admonish herself for believing such thoughts.

You lift your hand slowly to reach out to her, unsure of what to do. Why could you feel your heart breaking too?

“Wanda--”

Wanda opens her eyes and shirks away from your touch, and the image of that twists your gut.

“Get out,” she demands you, tears falling from her eyes.

Your fingers retract, and you lower your hand, but you don’t make a move to leave because there’s a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that if you leave without fixing this, you’re going to lose her.

“Wanda, please--”

“GET OUT!” Wanda screams at you. She holds the balcony door for you, and it occurs to you that maybe it’s already too late.

Wanda’s lips are trembling, and she looks away from you as you pass her through the balcony door before exiting her room with a soft click of the door.

Wanda lets out a broken sob, hand slipping from the doorknob as she slides to the floor. 

You’ve made your choice, and she needed you to leave before she makes a bigger fool of herself and keeps you here until she can convince you otherwise.

She had a half a mind to lock you here on this balcony with her and kiss you senseless until you forget your girlfriend ever existed. 

But she won’t.

Because she knows there’s nothing she can do to make you look her way. 

[duckbeater]

Courtship, pt. 2

Writing about happiness is very difficult and boring. The below are some small attempts I’ve made to write through my happiness. My small, important readership deserves an update, says my brother, whose sensibilities have only rarely steered me catastrophically wrong.

I AM BUYING CHAMPAGNE TO CELEBRATE MY LOVER

Today’s the last day of his job and he’s throwing himself a little party. In September he begins med school and in the next month he’ll put his affairs in order, readying for the big move. I have the sense that tonight begins our diminuendo, despite his staying over last night and spit-fucking me, and I’ll surely stay over tonight, after the many champagne toasts to his prosperous life ahead. 

We’ve started sleeping as two spoons embracing chest to chest, with our faces tucked awkwardly in a neck or an armpit. Of course I wake up gasping, my mouth sucking after a less hot pocket of air, and turn, and enjoy that he pulls me tightly back to him. He’s a heavy sleeper and I’m a light sleeper, and our bedding situation resembles something like a rock in a tumbler with my rolling over and over and over again, arising too early, wildly underslept, shining with sweat, but ecstatic that we’ve touched all night long. I’m attending his celebration in a sleep deficit that I’ve covered with caffeine and a long, soulful run beside the lake. I’ve been thinking about us a lot. 

He wouldn’t call himself my lover, I think, but I’m hoping the expensiveness of the champagne I’m bringing will convince friends in attendance that that’s what we are. I’m hoping my largesse goes noticed and commented on—that it’s interpreted as my being in love with him, and that his peers compel him, by either fretting over my largesse, or pitying me for it, or anyway finding it impressive or amusing or tender or charming—that they tell this young man I’m adoring him and I’m adoring him well. That my adoration seems steadfast and considered. And despite the riskiness of the circumstances (our differences in age, the widening gulf in distance, a sometimes depleting lack of shared cultural references), when we are together I feel comfort and joy. This must be obvious to him without the expensive champagne. I’m always saying it out loud, or anyway variants on the theme of “comfort and joy,” like a seasonal blessing, a profusion of blessings, needing remarked upon. I’m seriously afraid I mother him.

“Let us take in the scene,” I have said before, “let us only observe for the moment my sitting in your lap, your hands on my neck, my constant kisses. What joy!”

He’s done something to my sense of my proportion, and also my prose style. I can’t seem to describe our relationship without slipping into the sardonic, recursive, mildly-institutionalized voice of Robert Walser, a writer I find too cute by half. I’m finding my life too cute by half, I fear. If this is what happiness feels like, I don’t really want much more of it. It’s making me stupid. “People will think that pain has made you stupid,” wrote Walser, a statement that comes back to me when I can’t distinguish between the good times and bad times making me an idiot.

AFTER THE SPIT-FUCKING

We stayed up late talking about what it means to say goodbye to people who don’t know you’ve cared for them. I don’t pretend this conversation had subtext. For the last two years, he’s worked with profoundly disabled people, first as a case worker and then, after the pandemic closed the campus and made that job “nonessential,” as a nursing assistant on the same floor. 

He spent months feeding, changing, bathing and bedding non-ambulatory children and adults. Most cannot speak, a few cannot see, and none can walk, of course. It is a world I’ve rarely thought about—indeed, a world many of us rarely consider, because in its theater of human need are scenes of unremitting hopelessness. It is a languageless suffering and it perdures. I can become very mystified, very shallow-breathed thinking about his care for these souls, however quick he’s been to dissuade me from romanticizing or elevating his ministrations. “One of my verbal residents tells me to fuck myself all the time,” he’s noted. Still, I would point out that birth defects and accidents account for a small percentage of his caseloads’ impairments, and that active neglect and abuse perpetrated intentionally by former guardians (or unwittingly by the American healthcare complex) have hobbled his charges for life. I don’t like hearing stories about choked babies and toddlers left so long in beds their soft bones grow slab-wise, so I’ve asked him, coward that I am, to please skip origins if he’s entering an otherwise benign workaday anecdote.  

His most patient complaint: using his iPhone to FaceTime parents who want to see their son, then listening to one-sided conversations, burbling, giggles, tears, even story-time. His campus closed to all guardians—a devastating precaution. “Don’t send anything xrated today,” he’d text, and I’d know he was hosting a reunion. So I’d keep my clothes on. And he’d answer the phone from an immediately weeping seventy-year-old mother saying, to her forty-year-old son, “Why good evening, Max, good evening. This is your mother. Hi, baby. Hi. I love you. I am your mother. I will always be your mother. I am sorry I cannot touch you, I cannot hold you, I cannot be with you in this time, but you are my Max, and I am your mother. And I love you always. You can hear me and I’m gonna tell you all about my week, okay? And then I’m gonna ask Scotty here how you’ve spent your week, okay?” He said he usually cries on these calls and when I asked why, he said, “Because it seems polite?” And I pressed harder and he said, “Because I get to—I get to connect these people who have missed each other so much, and it’s so sad. They haven’t touched in months. They might not touch this year. My phone sometimes runs out of battery. It’s so weird.”

I’ve asked him whether families are happy to be rid of their incredible dependents and he said that by and large families are miserable to give over members to the institution: that age arbitrates the giving. “A mother and father have a baby at twenty-five. They can care for him well into their fifties—their twenty-five-year-old, their thirty-year-old son. But when these parents enter their sixties? Their seventies? They can’t lift an adult male. They can’t bathe him or change him. Even basic nutrition gets hard. Meal prep is tiring. It’s long. They start to lose track of medications, and they have medications themselves, you know? So the situation gets very difficult and if they want to live, and if they want him to live, they feel like they have to give him up.”

We’re at the point now where intimacy is a given. He doesn’t swallow, but brings me to orgasm, taking me in his mouth and then dribbles it, I guess, my cum, back onto my stomach, apologizing with a flushed red smirk. “I hate that,” he says, “I really hate it.”

“Go ahead, eat it,” I say, joking.

He gives me dark eyes and showily palms the wad into the black pillowcase behind my head.

“Holy Christ!” I yell. “The nerve! The pluck! The audacity!”

There must be a phase in relationships when extracting intimacies—not only of the “terrible things I did in high school”-vein, or the “times I cheated”-vein, or the “unwittingly right wing ideologies I support”-vein—that close couples endeavor. Where you’re always compulsively revelatory, to seem as interesting as you did in early courtship, as erotically forward and emotionally captivating. We’re in that moment and we surprise one another with small tributes as befits that level of affection.

One of the intimacies I proffered is that I’m going through a religious re-awakening, a need for ritual and sacraments. He finds this funny. (I find it embarrassing.) Yet one of his duties has been wheeling charges to his building’s Tuesday Mass, and then helping to administer the Eucharist. I don’t think he in fact touches the host (I don’t think many in his care can safely take of the host; “I’m mostly there in case anyone seizes,” he said), but he did slip a large wafer away for me and now it’s in my apartment, among my candles, possibly growing mold. He asks me when I’m going to eat it and I tell him around Christmas. 

(That was a lie. I’ll eat it when our romance is over, to consecrate the time we had.)

“I eat it,” I say, and he glowers.

I TOLD HIM ABOUT A MYSTERY SURROUNDING MY FAVORITE AUTHOR

Norman Rush. For a decade and better I’ve wondered about the long dedication in Mating, whose last lines read, “...and to the memory of my father, and to my lost child, Liza.” The novel, set in Botswana and borrowing heavily from Rush’s time there as director in the Peace Corps, suggests that perhaps Liza died in Africa or was born still. She goes unmentioned in his Paris Review interview, in subsequent novels, short stories, and reviews. There’s no hint of Liza’s fate. (As I edit this, I recall a phrase in Mortals, the narrator’s idea that “children exposed you to hellmouth, which was the opening of the mouth of hell right in front of you.” Explaining further: “[I]t was the grandmother, the daughter, the granddaughter tumbling through the air, blown out of the airplane by a bomb, the three generations falling and seeing one another fall, down, down, onto the Argolid mountains. With children you created more thin places in the world for hellmouth to break through.” And then, in Subtle Bodies, Rush describes a wayward teen boy, whose angry and aggressive behavior corresponds exactly to Rush’s own troubled teen son. In fact, Subtle Bodies is about the decision to have children at all. Nina follows Ned to a funeral, to fuck him. So, Rush has indeed remarked on children and strife, as he has lived it. Anyhow—) Yet by accident I listened to an old Fresh Air interview where Rush is asked to comment on the aspect of family in his novels, and to clarify that inscription. 

“I have a daughter who is now thirty,” he says, “who was born with diffuse brain atrophy and has been institutionalized for many years. Um. But I think the rest is pretty self-explanatory.”

“What was her condition?” presses his interlocutor.

“She is uh profoundly retarded,” pauses, “and will be so.”

“So you feel she is lost to you?”

“Yes. There is no recognition possible between her and us.”

I reproduced this exchange from notes on my phone. Scotty replied, “I don’t think that’s right, actually. Maybe between her and—who—who was it?”

“Norman Rush and his daughter Liza.”

He said, “Maybe between Liza and her dad—yeah, maybe she was so disabled she couldn’t recognize him. I take care of men like that. But I recognize them.”

We were talking about important books at all (I mean that semi-seriously) because his co-worker had gifted him three works, including a volume of Yeats’ complete poetry.

“Why did Paco give you Yeats?” I asked.

“He thinks I need more poetry,” said Scotty.

(Frankly I have felt and still feel sexual jealousy against Paco, who recently got brilliant red and black knee tattoos of spider webs. Like, Spider-Man spiderwebs, covering both kneecaps. Every few weeks he cooks a large meal for Scotty, and they talk about life until 4 A.M. drunk on bourbon, immobilized by edibles, full and warm and caring, and it makes me mad. It makes me mad, because I can’t really see the point of staying up until the uncomfortable small hours between 2 and 5 unless there is sex involved, but Paco is straight, a father, an excellent chef, a dedicated friend, and so my grousing is a kind of unwarranted possession that baffles me into silence on the matter.)

I didn’t have anything intelligent left to say about Norman Rush. I groped along a narrow thought, however, a thin ledge. “You know—a novelist, especially a novelist as concerned with language and comprehension as Norman Rush, would feel particularly devastated by the condition of his daughter. He would see it as ironic and then as punitive and again as senseless—supporting his comforting regime of a militant atheism.”

Although very sober, I recited the first stanza of The Second Coming, tripping over two lines (but the best lines), saying, “The worst lack all conviction, while the best/Are full of passionate intensity.”

“What?” said Scotty.

“I just—that was Yeats.”

“Who?”

“Go ahead and tell your boy Paco that your hot fuck gave you a teach on William. Butler. Yeats.”

“What?” said Scotty. He grinned at me. He got up and ate a yogurt.