#anyone else find his ‘get out’ at the end rather sexy?

[javelinbk]

John Lennon’s weapon of choice in Help! (1965)

[fireflysymphony]

Oh my god your Aventurine x Bodyguard!Reader so good I have to give you so many praises for that! But I have to ask… if you can may I please hear your thoughts on Aventurine with a Reader that he adores to take with him to the casinos as like a lucky charm but in reality he just absolutely loves to show off that they are partners, if that’s alright please and thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day today!

Aventurine showing off reader

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I really enjoyed writing it, and seeing someone else appreciate it makes me really happy. Here are some of my thoughts! I just love this man an unhealthy amount. I hope you enjoy this <3

Word count: 1.6k

Content Warning: GN! Reader, suggestive but mostly a crazy blond and some fluff, mentions of alcohol, not proofread, hope you enjoy <3

Headcanons

Long before the two of you began to date, he’d take you to his casinos with the intention of scamming you out of your money and possibly getting you drunk and taking you home with him later that night.

He got it in his head that it would end up like one of those sexy pornos where once he gambled you out of all your money, he’d seductively lean down and whisper in your ear “All your money’s gone, a shame angel, but let’s have one more round, yeah? If I win again, you’ll have to pay me back with something more… intimate.” And then he’d win and take you home with him to get his “payment.”

It never ended like that though. You were either too smart to gamble with him, or your teary eyed, defeated face once he won for the third time in a row would break his heart in a way he didn’t like or fully understand, so he’d stop himself from sucking you dry of anymore cash. And the next day you would find the money you lost plus some extra back in your bank account. He hoped you never found out that your tears were the only thing to melt his heart in a long time.

If you so much as mentioned not going with him one day, you’re in store for another one of Aventurine’s famous tantrums. This is when the phrase “good luck charm” started getting thrown around. You jokingly told him to get another person who throws themselves at his feet to be his lucky charm, and he lost it.

“No, no, no! It’s you that I want with me, nobody else! You're my good charm, singular! Please, come with me, angel, please!”

You didn't know why because you thought that’s what he was doing anyway since he often canceled your casino dates. In reality though, when you weren’t with him at night, it was because of dangerous work he didn’t need you getting involved in.

Most people who visited the casinos regularly already thought you and Aventurine were dating for multiple reasons. He always had some part of him touching yours whether it be a hand on the small of your back or him leaning on you whenever he was a little tipsy or bored of a game. He never let you pay for anything while you were with him, and despite being a rich man who could definitely afford two cocktails, he’d much rather hold his up to your lips and watch you drink from his glass. Aventurine wouldn’t let anyone approach you, especially if it was someone he had to confront for work that night, and if anyone tried flirting with you, they’d be out of luck, out of money, and out of a life depending on Aventurine’s mood. He didn’t like things that belonged to him being touched or stolen.

Safe to say, most people had pretty good evidence to conclude that you and him were together.

As you can imagine, this only got worse when you became official partners since Aventurine didn’t have to hold anything back. Your seat wasn’t the one next to him anymore, it was in his lap. He didn’t need to hold himself back from kissing you, and conveniently he mostly did it when other people were watching him. Before each round of poker, he’d ask you for a good luck kiss to bless his hand which lasted a little too long for everyone’s— but his— comfort.

Pretty much everyone knew that you weren’t just a good luck charm but a prize for him to show off, and he wasn’t letting you go anytime soon. Anyone who knew what was good for them backed off from trying to pursue you, and those brave souls who didn’t were in for a treat because Aventurine LIKED having them stare…. When he was in a good mood anyway. Bad mood, jealous Aventurine was a different story, but he’s for another day.

“I like it when they look at you, dove.” “But they look at me like you do.” “Exactly. But I’m the only one who gets to have you, pretty thing.”

Right after kisses, his eyes go straight to find the men he knew were into you, wanting to see their disappointed faces. He’ll even let them chat you up before pulling you onto his lap and kissing you. To him, crushing them emotionally was far more entertaining than outright killing them. This only goes for when you’re dating though. As stated before, Aventurine hated the thought of someone taking what he owned, and since you didn’t know you were his yet, he had to dispose of anyone who thought they had a chance.

It hurt him that the only place he could show you off was at the casinos. He owned them, so nobody was going to try to harm you unless they were prepared for the weeks long torture he had in store, not even the IPC spies he knew were around were safe from his wrath. To the IPC, you were nothing more than one of Aventurine’s ordinary flings, and he wouldn’t let anyone see past that facade, even if he wanted to rub his relationship in Topaz or Ratio’s face.

—-

“You always win, so I don’t understand why you need me here every night, wouldn’t you rather bring someone who’s unfamiliar with your tricks to scam?” You asked him one night before the two of you were officially a couple. He took you up to one of the VIP rooms, a few people mingling and chatting over cards around you. The two of you got a couch to yourself, yet Aventurine had an arm around your waist, not allowing an inch of personal space despite the size of the sofa. Aventurine was bored of the easy fish at the casino tonight. The card shark didn’t like his prey to fall too easily unless it was you, but you weren’t interested in losing any more money to him tonight..

“No, I’ve told you before! You’ve never seen me lose before, doll. Isn’t it obvious why? Because you’re lucky!” He answered, taking a sip of his third glass of champagne. He acted a lot more honestly when he was tipsy, his conniving grin never left his lips though, so nobody could tell how serious he was. That was if he let himself get tipsy in front of anyone but you— which he didn’t. You were the sole one who got to hear his slightly slurred speech and, on particularly rough nights, his lack of inhibitions.

“If I’m so “lucky,” why haven’t I beat you yet?” You hummed, shivering at the amount of money he’s coerced you into betting, yet somehow you’re more well off now since you met him than ever before.

“Because you’re my good luck charm, you have to find your own; I’ve sucked you dry of all your lucky, so nobody else can have you.” He waved his hand in the air like it was the most obvious explanation in the world before leaning his head on your shoulder, his glasses sliding down his nose and letting you see his pretty shining eyes. “You’re only mine to have, do you understand that?”

All you could do was sigh and fix his glasses. He was prone to say stuff like this when he was drunk and when he was sober too but it was worse when you had a little alcohol in his veins. Aventurine’s normal flirting was so teasing that you could chalk it up to him being just that, a teasing flirt who did this with everyone, but when he was tipsy or drunk, a serious edge pierced his words, a large contrast from his usual over-the-top teasing. You couldn’t trust that either. “You’re drunk, Aventurine.”

“Maybe so, but you still don’t understand, doll.” He took off his glasses, tossing them next to his empty glass on the table. He laid himself down on your thighs, his head turned away from you to face the rest of the room. When he was normal sober Aventurine, you didn’t take his advances seriously, and when he was drunk, you still didn’t take him seriously. It was annoying! Did he just give up? Was this a bet lost?

Sensing an incoming tantrum you set your hand on his hair, playing with his blond locks. You bit your lip, already regretting the ego boost you were about to give him. “…Now that I think about it: maybe I do have a good luck charm.”

The way he jolted up gave you an idea of where this was going, so you braced yourself for the storm about to hit. Shit, pouting might have been easier to sit through.

“D’awwww! Lovemuffin, do you mean it?! Really?! Say it again! Come on, say it to me again!” He somehow wormed his way onto your lap, poking at your cheek in eagerness. His legs straddled your waist, and everyone in the small quiet space turned their heads to look at you.

“What are you doing? Stop, get off of me! no-no it isn't you!” You shrieked, batting his hands away from your face as you shook your head. Now you really regretted saying anything. “You’re making a scene!”

“Sure it isn’t! Aren’t you just the most adorable thing, such a sweetheart to little ol’ me!~” He threw his arms around you, resting his head in the crook of your neck. He took back everything he previously thought. No matter what you were going to be his! “But if I am your lucky charm, I don’t think I’m working. You always lose!”

“Shut up, Aventurine!” You grumbled, hugging him back with a tenderness your words didn’t hold. Was it possible his words weren’t all faked?

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this more fluffy Aventurine post! Whether it be the sexy or scrunkly menace, I hope you enjoy him! <3 thank you to the requester for this idea

Requests are open!

[lovebugism]

first time having sex with eddie pleasepleaseplease

bug's blurb sleepover (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)! 18+

The first time you and Eddie have sex, he gives you a paper ring.

It’s made of the delicate wrappings of a straw. He’d gotten it for his drink at the diner, ripped off the end of it, and blew it square in your face, then laughed when you tried to do the same to him.

You couldn’t get the trajectory quite right, though, and decided to count your losses.

When he retrieves the pieces of forlorn trash from your end of the table and twirls it around in his hand, you figure he’s just fiddling with it. That it’s some absentminded thing he’s doing because his mind is always so preoccupied with one thing or another. Then he reaches for your hand across the table and takes hold of your left hand. 

Your fingertips are ice-cold, he finds, from where they’d been clutching the ribbed glass of your milkshake. He holds onto them anyway, and slips the twisted piece of paper onto your fourth finger. It’s tied at the top like a ribbon with a large knot at the center like a ring. 

You don’t realize the sentiment in it at first. You think it’s some party trick, like tying a cherry stem with your tongue or making a paper crane out of a napkin. 

Then Eddie smiles at you, a big, dumb, and sparkling grin — “Let Henderson try to make fun of us now, sweetheart. It’s finally official.”

Your eyes widen at the realization. 

Eddie used to call you his wife as a joke. It started as a way to get free meals at fancy restaurants you couldn’t afford. Then he saw how it made you blush and he did it just to make you laugh. It became a habit he couldn’t break sometime thereafter. The rest of Hellfire teased him to no end about the whole thing.

But it’s official now, or so he says. And you know it’s not real, not entirely, but suddenly you’re sad that it isn’t. 

Eddie steals your milkshake and lifts the lip of the glass to his mouth rather than use the straw. He smears whipped cream all over the tip of his nose and his cupid’s bow. You realize you can’t imagine spending your life with anyone else.

The thought doesn’t scare you as much as you thought it would. And you know that you’re just a couple of kids who don’t know a single damn thing about the world, but you know that yours would be so empty without Eddie in it.

You keep the ring on the rest of your lunch and flaunt it like it’s the real thing. It may not be made of metal with a too big diamond at the center, but the sentiment feels the same.

He takes you back to the trailer a little while later. Eddie makes sure to tell you how pretty you look sitting in the passenger seat of his van while he goes a world over the speed limit. You scold him for not paying attention and he blames you for distracting him.

Wayne’s truck is gone from the drive when you get to Forest Hills. It’s the first time you’ve had the trailer to yourselves and the realization sends a sick feeling swirling in the pit of your stomach — an elation, an apprehension, a shiver of anticipation.

And things weren’t tense exactly, nothing between you and Eddie was ever tense, but it was a foreign edge of a different kind. Things were unusually charged, like, sexually. It was just the thought of having the place to yourselves, of what couples usually did when they were alone. It left the both of you silently stewing over whether or not to take advantage of it all.

But you manage to keep things fairly innocent despite the distant, lingering libido that purrs like a roused sleeping dragon in the backs of your mind. 

The post-lunch fatigue hits the both of you like a ton of bricks, and you peel off what little you’d put on for your short trip to the diner most innocently. In nothing but oversized t-shirts and less than sexy underwear, you crawl into his bed and slip off to sleep without thinking.

That, coincidentally, is when things bubbled over.

You wake first some hours later. The setting sun has started to coat Eddie’s bedroom in various shades of orange You rise only because of the way the boy shifts behind you, sliding his hips over your back and gripping your waist with his fingers only for them to go lax a moment or so later. 

He tangles himself with you and it’s all perfectly normal. Eddie tends to shift in his sleep and the only way he can ever be content, it seems, is when he’s holding you like a teddy bear.

What isn’t normal, though, is the very apparent erection nudging at your lower back. 

“Eds…” you murmur, voice still groggy and heavy with exhaustion despite your alarm.

The boy, still half asleep and unknowing of the brick in his pants, mumbles back a lazy “hm?” 

He shifts again as he becomes more aware of his surroundings. It isn’t until his sensitive cock brushes against you that he notices how alarmingly hard he’d gotten in his sleep. He tenses, utterly mortified, before he feels you rock back against him. 

It’s intentional this time, knowing, and it lessens his fear but certainly not his hunger.

You press yourself further into him and twist your neck to look over at him. With tired eyes and heavy mouths, he shifts over you and catches your lips in a kiss. It’s lazy and slow, simmering with a cozy warmth. It doesn’t take either of you very long to wake up.

He presses a hand to your shoulder and rolls you onto your back, propping himself on his elbows to rest his weight on top of you. In your adjustment, lies a five-second pause that manages to feel like a moment’s blink in time and an eternity all at once. It’s as blissful as it is terrifying, the moment just before the kiss, the feeling when you know it’s about to happen.

Your eyes dart between his darker ones in a silent question. Eddie answers it with a searing kiss.

His knuckles brush against your buzzing skin as he strips you from the top you wear. You lift your hips to remove your panties after, while he rises to remove his own shirt. He tugs it up and over his pale torso, spotted with patches of hair on his chest and belly and fading tattoos.

“This was bound to happen, huh?” he jokes with a grin.

You bite back your own wide smile that threatens to take over your mouth and watch with twinkling eyes as he maneuvers his boxers down his legs without standing up. His hard cock bounces to his stomach, grateful to have been released from its confines. It glows an angry red at the tip.

“Are you complaining?” you retort playfully as he leans back over you again — both of you fully naked, bare chest pressed to bare chest.

The ends of Eddie’s hair tickle your jaw as he shakes his head. “Hell, no I’m not complaining, sweetheart.”

Lust swallows the two of you whole and blankets the room in a heavy heat. It’s all tongue and teeth and scorching touches. You flip yourself over for him suddenly, pressing your face into his pillow, and leaving the rest of you perfectly on display for him. 

Eddie is all too happy to admire the view as he takes you. His eyes remained locked on your ass, trained on the way you swallow his cock and how you meet his unpracticed thrusts with ease and diligence. His nervous hands are nearly numb where they clutch the dip of your waist. 

You peek over your shoulder at him, a playful and eager glint in your eye. Your smile widens when one of his hands lifts to swat your outer thigh. 

He was no stranger to this position — doggy style. In fact, the few girls he had fucked before you, he’d taken this way. But none of them were girlfriends. They were one-night stands from The Hideout or girls who used him to pass the time. He never minded how impersonal it felt before now. Because even with his cock nestled within you, closer than he could possibly be to you, the distance still feels like too much.

The breathless moans you exhale into the pillow cease when his hips still.

“Could you—  Can you, uh… Can you roll over?” he stammers, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

As lame as he feels in his request, you comply without thinking. 

You feel empty when he pulls out of you, warm again when he gets you on your back and looms over you again. You don’t mind when he presses his weight into you. Instead, you pull him somehow closer, catching him by his jaw to pull him into a devouring kiss that has him chasing you back into the pillows.

Your legs hook around his waist, keeping him locked into you though you writhe something fierce beneath him. Your hips roll with each of his unhurried thrusts, exhaling heavily against his mouth every time he presses into you.

“Eddie…” you breathe through lusted pants. “Please. I need… Need more.”

He doesn’t know why you’re begging. He’s never denied you of anything before. He doesn’t plan on starting now. Eddie wants to give you everything you want all the time — even when he doesn’t exactly know how to.

He ruts his hips harder than he had been before, with a pace far quicker than the relaxed thrusts he’d been given you. And it becomes obvious how greatly he’d undermined his strength when his pelvis presses into you and drives you up the bed. The crown of your head meets the wall with a dull thunk that echoes through the quiet, golden room.

Eddie stills immediately, blanching and gaping in fear.

“Ow,” you whine lowly, then laugh at yourself and him and the situation entire. 

You let Eddie cradle the back of your head as his fingers dance through the strands of your hair, rubbing gently at the sore spot of your skull. “Not that much, Eds…”

It makes him feel like a fumbling virgin all over again.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, wincing for you. He presses a sheepish kiss to the tip of your nose, rubbing the buzzing skin of your waist with the hand not pillowing the crown of your head. 

You’re healed instantaneously by all of the softness of touch.

“It’s okay,” you promise with a distant smile. “I asked for it.”

After your assurance (and then some), Eddie gets back into the swing of things. Distantly, he’s still terrified of hurting you again, but he gets so drunk on the praises that spill so effortlessly from your mouth to care. 

Your honeyed words are entwined with moans of his name and fragile whimpers as you near your peak. It catapults Eddie to his own orgasm. When you come, you do it with your fingers wrapped in the umber strands of his wild hair. Your walls flutter and tighten around his cock and your hands tug at his curly strands, hard — it drags him down right along with you.

He tenses and stills against you, whining and whimpering with his eyes squeezed shut. He fights to keep himself from bucking too wildly against you while you milk him and moan his name like it’s some prayer. You drive him crazy without even trying, reduce him to a puddle of nothingness with ease.

He flops less than gracefully beside you all over again, pale chest heaving with uneven breaths and curls clinging to his sweating forehead. The two of you fight to catch your breath.

You’re not looking at him. Your eyes have long fluttered shut as you revel in the aftermath of your orgasm, feeling like you’re not all there. A lazy smile pulls at the corners of your mouth and you exhale sharply, stuttering breaths in the place of a laugh. 

He can’t take his eyes off of you. You look ethereal and filthy, a heavenly being and a succubus from hell. He’s amazed by you, confounded at how an angel like you could wind up in his bed like this, somehow more in love with you than he had been just minutes before.

“I’m gonna marry you one day,” he promises out of the blue, voice heavy and far away from himself. 

And Eddie so often speaks candidly. He’s honest to a fault, saying things he knows he probably shouldn’t — but that? That catches even him off guard. 

But you don’t seem all that surprised by his words. They make you laugh, actually, eyes squinting and nose crinkling when you finally peek over at him.

Eddie’s still too far gone to laugh with you, but the corners of his lips quirky slightly.

“I thought we already were.”

You lift your left hand to remind him of the ring he’d tied to your finger just hours ago. The paper has slackened around the joint. The knot isn’t as tight as it had been before, hanging loosely at the knuckle. The edges are frayed and ripping in some places. But it’s still there.

And when it tears completely, he’ll make you another. And another. And another.

Until he can replace it with the real thing.

[just-null-cult]

YO, SUPER LATE SUPER LONG SUPER MESSY OCTOBER POST THAT I JUST SHOVED EVERYTHING INTO BC I DIDN'T WANT TO DO MULTIPLE. FUCK IT.

I forgot halfway that these were supposed to be costumes and not mini aus... SO REMEMBER IN MY PLACE, EVERYTHING IS HYPOTHETICAL. also. some have a bit of yandere elements to them bc its SO FITTING FOR NORITOSHI.

Happy late October, everyone. it's winter now. Let's get it, baby.

[Long rambles and doodles under the cut!]

Vampire!

I kept asking myself, "How sexy is too sexy.." and "How the fuck does a sexy vampire even look like without it being a shirtless guy w fangs or Edward Cullen....." I think I figured it out

Sure, sure, vampires are superhumans with sun allergies that can drink blood really hotly. They can also easily overpower you to feast and blah blah blah, but what if said vampire (Noritoshi) was too weak to do any of that? Not literally, but he craves your say. He wants not only your blood but your affection. He wants to get praised as he drinks you in. Are you comfortable? How much will you allow him to take? Do you want to get him back in return? Guidance with this makes him feel more at ease. It's still Noritoshi at the end of the day. He's going to find a way to be a little awkward about you because of his crush. He refuses to drink from anyone other than you, even if it causes his death. Therefore, he has to keep you healthy! For the rest of your lives..! Besides, he can't really go outside or else he'd.. y'know. So if you think about it, this is a very beneficial relationship for both of you!!

The only downside is that you're losing blood on the regular, and for some reason, more people are moving away... Probably nothing, right? Noritoshi is always there to keep you company and help you recover anyways.

Witch!

my attempts also bled into the witch design.... you got greedy with requesting two in one ask, but I'll spoil you this time bc I also wanted to see Noritoshi as a (sexy) vampire and witch. heh. AND I DIDNT REALIZE HED BE SO CUTE AS A WITCH..... WHAT THE FUCK?? rip momo, fight for your title of cute witch...

Noritoshi strikes me as one of those witches who'd rather be left to their own devices because they're running some important magic whatever in the background. though, he'll take some breaks and indulge you if you insist on having him around. Insist meaning you pass by and strike conversation, leaving him to neglect anything and everything to prioritize his time with you. He doesn't want to use magic on you unless it's beneficial for either you or both. Noritoshi likes a natural progression with you that he knows for a fact is true and not some product of some spell. Though it doesn't mean he wouldn't use charms and such to get you to interact with him more often to speed up the process!

Can't sleep? He has a remedy perfect for that! Bad luck? Oh no, take a charm. Nerves? A potion he perfected will help you ease your jitters. Annoying peers? With a snap of Noritoshi's fingers, they're gone! Just don't ask what happened. Enjoy yourself instead and come to him with any new issue. He's quick to resolve it.

Definitely has some sort of doll that looks suspiciously like you.. Noritoshi would probably talk to it and practice one liners that give you the strongest sense of nostalgia once he uses them. He's simultaneously giddy that the charm he put in the doll works but also a little annoyed that his hard work isn't surprising you, but leaving you with deja vu.

Idol!

i was crying the entire time bc what does an idol look like.... noritoshi is handsome enough to be an idol without actually being an idol... now i can confirm that idols are very well dressed though. thumbs up 100% but i had some thoughts...

[Idol]

Noritoshi would be the type to cherish his fans, but hold clear favoritism over you. he'd be those idols that look cold, but they talk, and they sound smug in a charming way. i don't know much about idols, but i know he'd be so fucking good.... he'd be the type of guy to sing to you amongst the hundreds in the crowd.... ahhh the interviews w these famous aus. they're just talking and acting like themselves. can you imagine Noritoshi getting asked the question if he has a lover or not? he can lie, im sure you're alright with that, but he doesn't want to!! he does have someone!!! someone he loves more than all his fans love for him combined!!! he just can't say it for the sake of your privacy and his career. so Noritoshi does what any charming guy who's good with their words does. he deflects the question. answering the question, but not really, that'd be something he's known for. fans online are split on why Noritoshi does this. some think he's trying to keep that side of his life private, others think he's trying to mess around, and others think he's hiding a secret lover!!! though the last one is usually seen as the outlandish one, sometimes it makes Noritoshi's heart drop bc they get some things right. "Having a lover is a complicated question hidden behind a simple disguise. If I had to answer, I'd say my lovers are my audience. they make sure i'm well cared for, some more than others." AND HIS FUCKING LITTLE SMIRK I CANT COUGHS UP BLOOD. IM A THEORIST TOO. SECRET LOVER. 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

ON THE FLIP SIDE....

[Not an Idol]

An amusing thought where Noritoshi goes out in his casual clothes, and he's mistaken for an idol. No one knows who he is, but he just looks like he'd be one. bro's just trying to buy groceries, and now he has a fan group asking him to take pictures with them.. He'd tell them that he's just a guy, not an idol, but the group would still want a picture with him. it'd be a waste to pass by someone who's so naturally gorgeous, so with a sigh of defeat, he relents. It's just a photo, right? No harm done. Noritoshi'd go home and feel overwhelmed/embarrassed by the whole ordeal. later, he gets a call from someone in the kyoto group or you to inform him how he's all over social media, known as that handsome guy in the supermarket. HED BE COMPLETELY UNREACHABLE TO MEDIA OUTLETS BC NORITOSHI IS THAT GUY WHO DOESNT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA.... he'd have to make one to make sure no one pretends to be him online. "Hello, I don't use social media, but I've been informed I've been getting attention online. To prevent anyone from being fooled by an impersonator, this is my official and only account. thank you." P.R. STATEMENT WRITING ASS.. his single post gets flooded with likes, comments, and DMs. it almost blows up his phone..... he was just buying bread, dude...... people try to dig up and find him through the other Kyoto group's social media.

[bonus] my second in command requested to put him in a fem idol outfit bc he thought it was funny. after frothing at the mouth and coughing out blood, I complied.

Doctor!

THIS IS SUCH A STRAIGHT FORWARD ASK BUT IT HAS SO MANY IMPLICATIONS. MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER.. THOSE EMOJIS GIVE ME A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION BUT IM NOT SURE.

Noritoshi as a doctor...... apple sales would plummet. his little clinic's business would skyrocket. sick cases would peak in his area. getting your heart checked by his stethoscope would be so fucking embarrassing bc all he'd hear is THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

LIKE IMAGINE IF THAT WAS YOUR DOCTOR? BRO.

COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH COUGH.

Noritoshi would probably own a small clinic that he wants to expand. That or he opened one after working for a hospital for a while. He's a great doctor who's most likely respected but a pain in the ass to work with. Among patients, he's gotten the hot doctor reputation. Most want to be treated by him, but he's so professional, any chance of trying to flirt goes down the drain. Yeah, he puts his hair up to avoid it in his face even though his eyes are closed classic lab safety procedures. He seems like the type to have a soothing but authoritative voice during examination, so he gets his message across. it's a bit difficult when dealing with patients for Noritoshi. If he sees them too often, he firstly scolds you for not taking care of yourself, then feels guilty for not giving you the proper care. Keep yourself safe and healthy, or else Noritoshi will clearly :( Putting him in a yandere setting would be dangerous. He'd have a lot of control over you, considering he can prescribe medication, shots, visits, and other things.... he'd have a ball.... nothing that would cause you any harm, of course. he's only looking out for you and doing what's best for you..!

Pirate!

my second in command wanted a pirate. pirates are so fucking cool and i know damn well if this guy were a pirate he'd have a bunch of battle scars under that fancy coat.

Noritoshi as a pirate would be more than a little odd, but also fitting. He looks like the type of guy who'd be well put together, yet he's willing to get his hands dirty. Like the guy who got into the pirate life because of some personal issue that couldn't be solved fast enough through conventional means. Even as a pirate, i imagine he holds everyone to high standards. They're still pirates though.. so his expected standards aren't even that high. He has more freedom here, so even he himself lets loose once or twice. Especially with you. He's even able to get away with more violent actions for you, the seas are unpredictable, after all. While taking some treasure, Noritoshi'd toss you a gem or golden coin, just so you can say you were the first to claim it. Just so he can see that happy glint in your eyes when getting your hands on treasure. God forbid anyone try to get their hands on your hard earned goods. They'd be met with a bullet to the foot or a sword at their neck. Everyone and their mother knows how you're his favorite, but Noritoshi downplays it. Its not a crime to help out someone from his crew is it? Not in the seven seas. He leans more into his cold ruthless killer side here. He has goals and people to help keep in line whether hes captain or not. Yet when around you, he's almost adorable in how he shows you a pearl so entrancing that it reminded him of you.

Corpse Bride!

my submission to my Noritoshi Halloween costume closet.. CORPSE BRIDE, THIS MOVIE FUCKS. esp w the yandere elements.

Noritoshi 100% made you recite the wedding vows to him before accepting the ring. If you fumbled up, he'd correct you with SO much attitude and expect you to start from the top until you got it perfectly.

Hypothetically, in the chalice scene towards the end..

Noritoshi is the type to never be fully relaxed unless he knows for sure you'll be eternally his. In this scenario, YOU proposed to HIM but have to die to continue being together. Not only that, but someone in the living world is also after your heart. Someone who bleeds. Someone who's the obvious choice. Someone who can give you the life that you deserve. Someone who will succeed in their pursuits if you. remain. alive. Noritoshi's life was cut short, yet he still managed to lose so much and be abandoned a considerable amount of times. When he meets you and finds out about the possibility of having to go through that again even in death, it finally clicks in his rotting mind. He realizes he's been doing something wrong to keep constantly failing. Noritoshi revises his methods to a more.. selfish course. Why should he care about anyone else's wants or how his actions hurt them? You were the only one who made him truly fulfilled, to make him feel alive. The only one who deserves anything and everything good that comes from this world. Destiny is never done toying with him when he realizes your marriage is invalid because of your pulse and his lack thereof no matter how hard he'd try, but the opportunity arises. of course, he's ecstatic to give you an afterlife worth much more than what a silly beating heart can achieve. "All people die eventually. If you miss your living family or friends, all it takes is patience, darling. I'll wait by your side in the meantime." He weighs the pros and cons of everything, but when it comes to swaying manipulating your thoughts he only highlights the ones that'll get you on his side. in this case, the pros of dying to be with him! Honestly, the answer was so obvious that Noritoshi didn't know why he was stressing about it before. It hurts him to see you in any type of pain, but he reassures both himself and you that it'll only be for a moment. Afterward, he'll have the rest of your afterlives to make it up to you!! What happened to Till Death Do Us Part? Noritoshi thinks it's insulting that something as shallow as that could be so widely accepted. If your love were true, it wouldn't stop just because the world decided to take them away. "Till death do us part? Darling, don't be silly. 'Not even death will do us part' feels much better, doesn't it?" 

[misc-obeyme]

To my surprise, nobody sent me a prompt for Lucifer for Kinktober. I don't mind, that means I got to choose. But I was surprised that he was the character that didn't get a submission!

Anyway, I decided to try writing voice kink for this one. Lucifer just has that deep voice, you know what I mean? I dunno, it felt like a good choice.

I maaaayyyy have gotten a little carried away. It ended up kinda long. Also do I maybe have a thing for MC getting it on with demons at RAD? Nope. Definitely not. The only other time I wrote about MC getting sexy at RAD, it happened with an angel. Satan in the library doesn't count, that's like a given.

ANYWAY. Here it is, hopefully it's not too terrible lol. I really need to work on my confidence in my smut writing.

KINKTOBER 2023

GN!MC x Lucifer

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: voice kink, semi-public, fingering (reader receiving)

You wandered the halls of RAD alone, on your way to class. You were a little early, so you were taking your time. The other students moved past you, everyone absorbed in their own lives, not paying you any attention. For once there were no demons by your side. You would see them in class, but you happened to have this moment to yourself.

That is, until your D.D.D. began to ring.

You pulled it out of your pocket and looked at the screen. It was Lucifer. What could he want? You knew he didn't have a class right then. He usually spent this time working in the student council room.

You answered it. "Hello?"

"Where are you right now, MC?"

You frowned. "I'm in the hall at RAD on my way to class. Do you need me?"

"Yes." Lucifer's voice had dropped nearly an entire octave. "I find myself fully distracted by thoughts of you and I can't get anything done. I need you here so that I can make you come in real life rather than just in my mind."

The depth of his voice, the rumble of need beneath his words, sent electricity through your veins. You managed to side step a small group of students, moving quickly to the wall, certain that anyone would be able to see the flush that was now on your face.

"Lucifer," you hissed into the phone. "Couldn't you have chosen a better time to say that to me?"

You heard a smug chuckle. "Consider yourself excused from class. Meet me in the student council room."

You didn't even have a chance to argue with him because he had hung up. You stared at your D.D.D. in disbelief. While it was certainly like Lucifer to be bossy, it wasn't like him to condone skipping class. But there had been something undeniable in his voice, something that still made you shiver a little.

You considered going to class anyway. He couldn't actually be upset with you about it, since that was the responsible thing to do. But it was too late for you now and he likely knew it. He knew what saying that to you in that deep voice of his would do.

You quickly made your way to the student council room, the halls thinning of people as you did so. Classes began and soon enough you were completely alone.

You paused before the door to the student council room. This location was also an unusual choice for Lucifer. Was he really that desperate?

You opened the door and stepped inside. The room was dark. Why were the lights off?

"MC."

You nearly jumped, but before you could turn around, there were arms around your waist. You felt Lucifer leaning in, his lips right beside your ear.

"Now that you're here, let us waste no time."

You shivered. But you also weren't about to let him get what he wanted so easily. You turned around in his arms and tugged on the jacket of his uniform. "What has gotten into you?" you asked, breathless. "It isn't like you to be so… needy."

Lucifer huffed and you could tell he was annoyed. You could only barely see him in the darkness of the room, but you recognized his familiar frown. "You say that as though it isn't your fault."

"My fault?" you demanded, but you didn't get anything else out because Lucifer had turned you around again. His hand was already down the front of your waistband, inching ever closer to your heat.

"I try to keep myself in check, MC," he said quietly in your ear. "Especially here at RAD. But there are times when I can't hold back. When I need you more than I need anything else in the three worlds. Would you deny me?"

His voice had lowered again, his desire causing it to become almost heavy.

You considered it. You knew that if you said no right now, Lucifer would let you go. That he would reign himself in, watch you leave the room and get to class, late though you may be.

You might have done that. But the truth was that Lucifer was just as much at fault as you were. And he knew it, too. He knew exactly what to do to make you crazy.

"As long as we're clear about whose fault this really is," you said.

Lucifer kissed the back of your neck. "You're right. I take full responsibility."

You were about to ask for that in writing when Lucifer's creeping hand finally found its way between your legs. You gasped at the feel of him, a gently teasing touch that made you want him even more.

"All I want is to make you feel good," Lucifer said, his voice still in that low register. The way he had you pressed against him allowed you to feel the vibration in his chest. "I don't believe that is too much to ask for."

You couldn't respond with anything other than a moan because Lucifer's fingers were moving more vigorously now, steadily increasing their speed and pressure. You pushed back into him because you weren't sure you could remain standing. Your hands clutched at his arms where they wrapped around you so securely.

"Ah," you gasped out. "L-Lucifer…"

"Come for me, MC," Lucifer said. It was practically a growl, one that you could feel in your own chest.

You let out a strangled sound, trying to keep yourself quiet here in the darkened student council room, as you came in Lucifer's arms. He held you tightly, keeping you on your feet, his lips on your neck as you squeezed your fingers into his arms.

It took you a moment to catch your breath and steady yourself. You leaned on Lucifer as you did so, heart fluttering as you relished the gentle kisses he left on your skin. When he finally pulled his hand out of your uniform, you twisted around in his arms again. You made him suck in a breath by putting your hand on his obvious erection.

You smiled up at him in the dimness of the room. "Your turn."

flufftober | kinktober | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

taglist: @anxious-chick @t0tallycoolname @libidinous-weeb

[vienssunshine]

GUAAA you’re the best maki writer on this app istg /&;&;@/@/@-“&/ could you please write smth nsfw where the fem reader like gets jealous of yuuta cause she thinks something is going on between them?

She likes a boy but I'm not a boy

pairing: Maki Zenin x fem!reader sfw: love confession word count: 1.5k author's note: thanks for the ask! not smut but def jealousy! enjoy! description: it's hard to find out maki and yuta have a thing, maybe a conversation with her could clear some things up

“Last lap!” Yuji calls out, his breath labored despite being far ahead of anyone else circling the track. It’s been twenty minutes of this drill—sprinting until you can’t feel your legs anymore—and with the sun beating down on you, it’s utterly grueling.

You were psyched to have the earlier training sessions this week along with Nobara, Panda, and Yuji, because, though getting up before sunrise is a challenge in itself, it tends to be cooler in the morning. With summer approaching quickly, having the afternoon sessions like Maki, Yuta, Inumaki, and Megumi do is a near death sentence.

However, this morning is uncharacteristically hot. The sun has only been up for the past hour, but its rays are blinding and oppressive. With no shade offered by Jujutsu High’s training facilities, all one can do is suffer until practice is over.

You cross the line and stumble off the field, making your way to the bleachers to lean back on the metal that’s too warm to cool your overheating body.

“I thought that would never end,” Yuji sighs, draping the shirt he had taken off over his forehead and pouring water onto it.

You reach for your water bottle, taking in the cool liquid in clumsy swallows before saying, “I don’t think I’ll be able to get back up.”

“Same here,” Nobara says, lying like a starfish on the grass in front of you. She glances at her watch and groans, “Only thirteen more minutes ‘til we go again.”

Panda sits up, somehow full of energy—you suspect he’s been using gorilla mode to make the drill easier—and says, “That should be enough for some of my favorite kind of break-time talk!”

Yuuji pulls his t-shirt off of his face, “Is it–”

“Sexy talk!” Panda exclaims.

“Gross,” Nobara says, throwing her empty water bottle at him.

“Not gross,” Panda counters, deflecting the bottle. “A necessary bonding experience for those on a team. Haven’t you ever heard of locker room talk?”

“I think that’s different,” you say.

“Yeah,” Nobara agrees, glowering.

“I’ll start,” Panda says, “Yuji, who do you think would make the best couple in Jujutsu High?”

Yuji crosses his legs and strokes his chin. “Umm…I don’t know…”

Nobara eyes him. “Spit it out.”

“Thought you didn’t like this kind of talk?” you say.

Nobara folds her arms, “Doesn’t mean he should take forever to answer.”

“Come on, Yuji!” Panda says, clapping his paws together.

Yuji sits back on his hands, “Maybe…Yuta and Maki?”

You furrow your brow. That’s a strange pairing.

“Great choice!” Panda says, looking smug, “I would agree.”

“What? Totally wrong!” Nobara objects, offended by the idea, “Maki isn’t interested in anyone, she doesn’t have time to be in a relationship.”

This isn’t making any sense. You sit up so you can face them. “Are you guys being serious?”

“Uh, yeah,” Yuji says, puzzled, “I thought they were kind of a thing?”

“Definitely,” Panda says, “I’ve always known.”

You pull your legs into your chest and rest your chin on your knee. This is not what you expected, or understood to be what was going on.

You’ve known Maki for a while, and she’s always been very friendly to you, well, as friendly as Maki can be. But still, she pays you extra attention, noticing the little differences in your appearance—like if you changed your hair or wore a new outfit—and following it up with a compliment that feels strangely intimate. She tends to touch you a lot as well, opting to brush by you rather than go around, or have her hand graze your forearm as she laughs at one of your not-funny jokes. So you’ve been thinking that maybe, after all this time, she might see you how you see her. But this conversation is making you wonder if it’s all in your head.

“Well, I guess if it had to be someone,” Nobara concedes.

“Just admit it, they’re made for each other,” Panda says dreamily.

You huff. Yuta and Maki are definitely close, but made for each other? What makes him so great? Just because he’s a special grade doesn’t mean he’s equipped to handle someone like Maki—he always looks like he’s two seconds away from crying. If what they’re saying is true, if they’re actually together…you’re not sure what you’ll do, but just thinking about it is heating your blood.

The conversation devolves into discussing what everyone’s type is, but you tune it out, instead searching your memory for the signs of Yuta and Maki’s special connection. You're not sure how you could've missed it if it was so obvious to everyone else.

The rest of training is easier now that you’re pissed off. Your form is sloppier as you run around the track, feet hitting the ground in hard, careless pounds, but you’re going much faster than you were; there’s less of a gap between you and Yuji.

You’re still angry when you shower, change your clothes, put on shoes, and go to class for the rest of the day. It’s good that Yuta and Maki are in the afternoon sessions of training, you’re not sure you’d be able to stay composed with how you’re feeling right now.

The day cools as the sun goes down and, after trying and failing to talk your feelings out to one of your stuffed animals, you resort to finding a late night snack in hopes of soothing your inner turmoil.

Only, when you get to the communal kitchen, there’s a light on, and under it, sitting at the table, is Maki watching something on her phone.

She looks up when you walk in. “Hey,” she says, an interesting smirk on her face.

“Hey,” you respond, passing by and heading to the cabinet to grab some chips. You debate going back to your room—you’re not sure if hanging out with her tonight is a good idea—but the urge to stay wins, so you sit down in the chair next to her and open the bag.

Maki puts her phone down and rests her elbows on the table, clasping her fingers together and tilting her head as she says, “I heard you were talking about me today.”

Looking straight ahead, you say, “Did you?”, and put a chip in your mouth and chew. “Maybe you should tell Yuta about it.”

There’s that attitude you were worried about slipping out. You don’t want to give her a hard time, you’re just frustrated, because Yuta? Over you? Really? But then she laughs, and despite everything, it’s immensely gratifying.

“Yeah, you guys were saying we’re a thing or something,” Maki says, expression calming into a soft yet devious smile.

She’s baiting you, though you don’t know why. Her golden gaze is as heavy and intense as the sun this morning as she searches your face for any reaction. It’s peculiar behavior if she likes someone else—unless you’re misinterpreting again.

You’re as casual as can be when you ask, “Aren’t you guys a thing?”

Maki responds matter-of-factually, “Yeah, we are.”

You cough, nearly choking on your chip. That confirms it, confirms everything you were worried about. Maki likes someone else. A boy. Your mind spins, trying to make sense of the situation. Panda and Yuji had a better read on the situation than you? You had just imagined the tension with Maki? The one thing you can conclude is that you were totally wrong.

Maki hands you her glass of water, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you force out, taking a sip. “That’s great,” you say, “For you and Yuta.”

She laughs again. “Don’t ever become an actress.”

You break out into a stupid smile, “I’m serious.” Putting the chips down, you try to recover. Obviously this is terrible news, but you still have to be a good friend. “Really, that’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“Stop,” she says, waving her hand, “We aren’t really.”

“Uh…what?”

“We aren’t really a thing,” she says, her hand landing on your forearm like it always does. Only, this time, it stays there. “I just wanted to see how you’d react.”

She moves her thumb along your skin, and though her strokes are gentle, the sensation is electric. No doubt she’s noticed how your arm has lit up in goosebumps.

“Why?” you ask, your voice quieter than it was, anticipatory. You don't want to be wrong again.

She speaks slowly, her gaze holding steady. “Because, I don’t want to be a thing with Yuta”—her fingers give your arm a squeeze—“I want something with you.”

It doesn’t register at first, the words not sinking in, rather just sitting there, utterly impactful. Her amber eyes watch yours as you tell it to yourself again: Maki doesn’t want Yuta, she wants you.

Your friend, who for months you’ve longed for, dreamed of, desired, Maki, she likes you back.

There’s no room for air in your body, not with the surge of excitement pushing up through your chest. Everyone else—Panda, Yuji, Nobara—they didn't know what they were talking about. Maki wants you.

Your hand lands on hers without consulting your head first. Then you’re leaning forward, leaning closer to her, and you echo the sentiment, whispering you’ve much you’ve wanted this. She smiles before your lips meet; the kiss was mutually long-awaited.

And so, in the dimly lit kitchen, a secret romance was born. Would the others get it right this time?

[sunnylands-world]

Vinnie's the type of boyfriend who's:

Pairing: Vinnie hacker x reader

Summary: Vinnie hacker as your boyfriend

Word count: 491

Warning: none

Universe: celebrities

A/n: I just had this idea thought you guys would like

You read the warnings if you continue to read. I'm not to be held responsible.

Comments, reblogs, and inboxes are appreciated and motivational

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gonna wrap his arms around you from behind, bury his face in your neck. If you're next to him, best believe he's pulling you into his lap. He's gonna somehow end up on your side of the bed, limbs tangled with yours.

Gonna fix your car if it breaks down. he'll get out why you're losing your shit about it, pop your hood and get to work. He's so fine doing it too

gonna stare at you across the room. It can be for many different reasons, Maybe he's just looking because you're so beautiful or because a guy's taking a little too much Interest in you. Vinnie just likes admiring and being possessive of you like expensive things because all though he's the only one you want he knows if anyone else notices that you're literally gold they'll be after his treasure and he can't have that.

Going to roll his eyes to the back of his head when he's inside you. He'll drop his head back, eyes rolled a huff leaving him like he's exhausted but in reality he's just floating in a cloud because holy shit you're killing him with the way you're wrapped around him, cock soaked in your wetness. He's at a loss for words groaning and he's looking like he's the one having an exorcism as his body gets drunk on the feeling of you because it's just so good.

Going to tease you. He knows you're a puddle for him so why not have some fun right? Rather that's placing his large hands unessly close to your panties instead of right on your thighs or whispering against your neck with soft kisses in that spot that has your knees buckling and head falling back with a moan of his name and just when you think he's gonna take away that craving between your thighs he pulls away making you whine in annoyance.

Going to take you out to eat and love seeing you comfortable enough to eat as you please. He loves those moments where you as a girl break the ladylike stereotypes but you never go to far with it so you're not being an animal but you're making men around you raise a brow and he finds that very sexy

Gonna hype you up when girls come at him. trust and believe you're not the only girl who loves herself some Vinnie but he's never cared about them, in fact he loves the ones bold enough to step to close so he can tell them you'll humble them really quick because they don't compare to you or that you'll definitely end them because you're just as possessive as him.

Going to be like a bodyguard. He'll hover, even if it's from a far. He'll be watching closely, ready to step in and intimidate anyone who gets too close.

Vinnie's the type of boyfriend you're dreaming of…

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©Sunnylands-world this belongs to me therefore you don't have the right

Nice thought, reblogs, and inboxing is appreciated 👍

[pinknightsinmymind]

【 abby anderson as a gf hc's 】

a/n: this is just super fluffy and cute <333 i wrote a lot so it's below the cut

first and foremost, lots of ppl make assumptions about abby and what she's like because of her appearance. she has somewhat of a rbf, and she's insanely buff, so many ppl are intimidated by her automatically.

that being said, abby looks to be understood and known at a deeper level, and wants to be treated like anyone else no matter what she looks like

i think she's the typical "intimidating but a huge softie" type like HEAR ME OUT

anyone can look at her and know that she's insanely strong and that she could easily take them out, and while true, underneath all that abby is extremely kind and caring

she may look scary, but she loves reading, she loves animals, she loves nature, she has a soft spot for lev, she's grown to understand the world outside of herself and that there is more than what meets the eye, she's learned from her mistakes, and she's deeply loyal

so while, yes, she is tough and strong, she is much more than that and wants to be seen for all parts of herself rather than the surface; she wants to be understood and she wants her partner to be someone who isn't intimidated by her and is willing to look beyond her exterior

so while everyone else avoids her and you willingly approach her despite what ppl say? and you treat her like a person—like she were anyone else? that immedately gets you on her good side and gains you her respect

you two begin to seek each other out more and more bc she enjoys your company and begins to open up to you

she lets you see every side of her, even the ones she typically wouldn't let others see

other ppl may be confused as to how you joke around with her so easily when they'd fear for their lives if they did, but that's simply bc you're close enough to her that you know how much of a huge softie she is

okay okay enough of my intimidating softie abby agenda and now time for more interesting stuff

im FULLY convinced that in a modern!au and college!au she'd be in pre-med studying to be a doctor or a surgeon; she'd do it bc she wants to help ppl but also bc she loves and admires her dad for his work

bc of this i also see her bragging to you all the time that she'll be your doctor wife who makes big money so she can spoil you

(and she lives up to that promise)

when she comes home late from work she's quick to make it up to you

ABBY IN SCRUBS

knowing her love of novels, i feel like she struggled to pick between pre-med and english as her major, but at the end of the day being a doctor called to her passions much more so she chose english as her minor

HOWEVER, i feel like her brain is so sexy especially when talking about novels she's read

like imagine her going on tangents about the book she's read and what she thinks the meaning is, then bringing up the story's historical context, and then interdisciplinary studies and just being like "omg she's so sexy i'm going to take my clothes off rn" bc of how smart she is

her book collection is HUGE and she lets you borrow whatever you want from her shelves, and you can see all the things she's scribbled in the margins, her silly annotations, small drawings in the corners, her cussing in her notes about the characters saying stuff like "what the fuck is wrong with you?" so seriously

she'll find poems she really likes and tell you about them especially the ones that remind her of you

i feel like she'd love emily dickinson and the bronte sisters idk i can see it

she's SO excited to introduce you to her dad

she's a huge family person and wants you to feel like a part of her family too

in a modern!au lev is probably a kid who lives next door to her that she babysits and tutors sometimes but she absolutely adores him and sees him as her brother

can you imagine how much of a hopeless romantic she is

she's probably so cheesy and loves romance and being cute with you where if it were anyone else it'd be cringy but its HER and she's just so sweet and so endearing how could you hate any of it?

asks you to be her valentine every year even if you're her gf bc she still feels the need to romance you

will make a spectacle of every holiday in order to treat you somehow

okay maybe gift giving would be a love language of hers too i can see it

but i feel like her top love languages are physical touch and acts of service tho

she's definitely the type to cherish any moment with you, and values being able to sit with you in silence in general but also while you do your own activities together (so parallel play basically)

.... i think she'd love to play video games to destress but not necessarily violent ones i think she'd play more calm games like animal crossing to relax or maybe minecraft where yall can build a world together and have a little farm bc she thinks its cute

teases you when you get lost or when you die in the games tho bc she's a bully (jokingly) like that

definitely the type to be like "only I can bully you"

very protective in general she wouldn't let anyone lay a hand on you and she'd take such good care of you

worries about your well-being (physical, emotional, mental) all the time and will do whatever it takes to make sure you're okay

if you need her at 3 am, she doesn't care she goes to your place right away

if you're sick she won't hesitate to buy you medicine, clean up your place, make you soup, whatever you want

when taking care of you while sick she calls you her number one patient and her favorite patient bc she's corny like that

there's nothing she wouldn't do for you bc when she's committed, she's committed

she's such a devoted and loyal person in general that when she cares about you, she cares about you, and there's no bluffing involved

just a very sincere and honest person who is willing to grow and learn, especially with her partner

i bet she's VERY open to communication and to talk things out with you she's the type to listen to you wholeheartedly and give you all the reassurance you need

she's the type of partner who's SO open to communication and good at it that you're like omg??? how are you so calm??? i'm screaming and crying and shitting my pants rn???

she's a huge softie and such a loving person who looks to be understood the way she understands others; she craves unconditional love and wants to give to others

she's just gf (and wife) material like come ON

[vs-redemption]

Soft Sunday: Waking Up On The Weekend

(with: Iwaizumi, Bakugo, Kenma, Tsukki)

⚠️warning⚠️: I did include suggestive content in this. It's not detailed or anything but I'm just letting anyone know who might feel uncomfortable.

Iwaizumi

He didn't used to think much about what he wore to bed until he realized you liked having access to his bare chest and arms. After that he makes a point of going to bed shirtless with just his boxers on, or a pair of pajama pants if it's chilly.

His morning routine used to be a protein shake, work out, and maybe a jog. Now though, he can't help but linger in bed. He loves sleepy little chats in the morning as your hands roam over his skin.

If the mood hits, he's not opposed to getting spicy and indulging in you in the morning. He can count that as his work out and honestly he just likes starting his day off making you feel so loved and cared for.

He definitely wasn't a breakfast person before you, but now he has all your favorite breakfast foods and how you make your coffee memorized.

He enjoys having you in the kitchen with him as he cooks so he can talk and flirt with you, especially if you're just hanging out in one of his shirts or something.

As grouchy and stern as he comes off at first, he really does thrive in a domestic setting. He has such a nurturing personality and he loves being able to take care of the person he loves.

Bakugo

He knows you like his muscles but doesn't really get why. To him, they are a means to an end (being a strong hero). Lucky for you though he sleeps in a sleeveless t-shirt so you can enjoy his beefy arms as he holds you close.

Holding you close is nice physically, sure, but for him it's more about the need to keep you safe. He sleeps better when he knows you're safe in his arms.

Lazy mornings aren't really his thing. He gets fidgety and impatient if he's in bed too long. If you wake up before him though, you'll notice that he does pull you closer and linger for just a moment or two before kissing your head and rolling out of bed.

Cooking is one of his love languages, and it fills him with pride to get up and cook you the most mouth watering meals. He's happy to serve you breakfast in bed, but it's better if you can find the motivation to get up and follow him to the kitchen because watching him cook the food is half the fun. He has no idea how sexy he is in the morning, standing at the stove with his arms on display. Not to mention the sinful sweatpants he wears.

Kenma

He is not a morning person at all. Even during the week he doesn't have to wake up for work too early, so he'd definitely rather sleep in on the weekends too.

He can be pretty clingy in the morning and will get a little grumpy if you try to make him get up before he's ready or if you accidentally wake him up when you get out of bed to use the bathroom or something.

Comfort is important to him, so he dresses according to the temperature, not what he thinks makes him look sexy. The good thing about this though is that he's always cozy and ready to cuddle.

Cooking is not his forte, so you will not catch him using his morning time making breakfast when he could be lounging in bed with you. He is good with a piece of toast or a bagel once he finds the energy to wake up.

Sometimes though, he doesn't mind waking up and having you for breakfast. It doesn't really take that much effort on his end and he knows you (both) deserve a treat too after a long week.

Tsukki

He isn't the most confident about his looks, so he also dresses more for comfort than anything else for bed. Usually he's in a tshirt and shorts or pajama bottoms.

In the morning he might be a little self-conscious about his messy hair, morning breath, or even how he looks without his glasses.

He does like to cuddle in the morning though. He likes being the big spoon so he can hide his face against your shoulder. He also likes being in a position to have his hands on your chest (whether you have boobs or not... he wants to touch your chest.)

Sexy stuff isn't usually on his mind in the morning, but if you instigate anything he is definitely on board.

Making breakfast isn't his favorite, but he will if that's what you want. He'd much rather take you out to breakfast though, either at a cafe or a diner. He likes getting the fresh air and the opportunity to just talk and spend time with you.

tagging: @bisexualturtledove @honeybunny-sawamura @no1frogfan

[creedslove]

Mari!!! I love your writing!!!

Do you think you could write a little jealous Dave York, maybe he has gotten with reader who is a little younger and he's a bit insecure, so he follows her or sees a guy flirting with her and he gets super jealous or protective. But in the end she's like I only want you and she let's him cum in her. 🫣

Sorry I just love Dave York I can't help it ❤️

Dave York x f!reader

A/N: bestie, who doesn't love Dave? He's literally precious, I love him with all my heart, and so do all of us!!! 💞❤️

• okay, let's just establish something here: Dave is a jealous type, okay? No arguments about it, he can be a prince and sexy and treat you like a queen, but he is NOT gonna like to see any guy anywhere around you, he's gonna be pissed off and territorial

• you are definitely the best thing he has in life, he will never risk you having an interest in anyone else but him, he just gets angry and scared to even consider that, because it would break his heart and he would feel so betrayed

• luckily, just as he's obsessed with you, you're also obsessed with him, and you both are mature enough not to play stupid games or mess around with each other's feelings: you both love and respect each other and you don't flirt with other people for fun or whatever reason

• still, other people might try their chance, since you two are a very attractive couple: women all have their eyes on Dave and guys can't help but keep their eyes on you at times, and that's when our hitman gets bothered

• Dave isn't clueless, he knows he's a successful, charming and handsome man with a very attractive position at work but he's also aware you are younger than him, being his second marriage and already burnt by his ex wife, it's made him suspicious, because sometimes it's hard for him to see that good things can happen to him and you are one of them

• overall, underneath all of his hitman threatening persona, lies a rather insecure man who thinks you are way out of his league and that at any minute you're gonna snap from it and finally find someone you should really be with instead of him

• so when he has a break over the week, he decides it would be a great idea to call you up and meet you for lunch, just something quick: going to your favorite bakery for some sandwiches and a slice of cake; it was the kind of date you two didn't plan in advance but you loved it nonetheless, as it was so simple and romantic

• you felt so excited to meet your handsome Dave, you decided to look really nice for him, arriving a little before he did as he was still leaving the office, you picked a nice table and took a look at the menu, checking up your options when you felt glares at you

• you didn't know that man, he looked alright you guessed, he wasn't ugly, but he wasn't Dave's level of handsome either. He was wearing formal clothes which showed it was also his lunch break and once he captured your attention, he smirked and greeted you

• you politely greeted him back, wanting the interaction to end once for all, you weren't interested in him, simple as that, but the guy figured that if he insisted, things would be successful somehow, so he approached your table at the same time Dave got off the car and saw it from outside that unknown man making small talk

• Dave's body heated up at the same time he felt himself going cold and a bitter taste of jealousy flooded his mouth: he hated seeing you talking to him. He didn't know who that guy was but he definitely didn't want him around you, when you two were supposed to be having your lunch date, he didn't want to see you talking to a man who was visibly younger and fitter than Dave, whereas your hitman was going a little a gray and his belly was rounding up a little

• he feels his heart sinking at the same time he approaches the table, he wants to get there immediately and break apart whatever contact is going on, but hearing your voice brings Dave back to reality:

"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested, I'm waiting for my boyfriend, he's just arrived"

• you told the guy and got up, smiling and walking towards Dave, kissing his lips and hugging him. Your hitman simply wrapped his arm around your body and kissed your lips, giving the guy a rough stare

"is there anything wrong in here?"

• the man just shook his head and excused himself, apologizing and trying to hide how nervous he got once he "accidentally" spotted Dave's gun in his suit jacket. You didn't see when he flashed it at your admirer but you couldn't care less, you were just glad to see your handsome hitman there ❤️

____

[deathbyoctopi]

Another year, another rec list with some of the best xuexiao I've read these last 12 months!! >w<

And like last year's rec list, this isn't either exhaustive or limited to fics posted in 2023. It's just the things I have found, which I liked, and want to spread the love about ^-^

Here's, in no particular order, my favourite xuexiao (and occasional songxuexiao) fics. Also, take a look down below for other mxtx or danmei pairings!

You're mine by twilightshards. This is a phenomenal oneshot where Xue Yang does not wait patiently to take revenge on Baixue temple, but rather follows the annoying daoshi out of Jinlintai as soon as he gets off the hook. He catches up with them a couple of nights later, only to find Xiao Xingchen in a... compromised position. While moaning Xue Yang's name.

The tamed by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior. Last year I recommended the wonderful The Prisoner of Jinlintai fic, and now we got a sequel to that!!! Exciting stuff, very exciting... Xiao Xingchen saves Xue Yang from his botched execution and Song Lan is there raging at what he thinks is a psycho taking full advantage of his friend's kindness. Absolutely loved it!

蛇 - shé by shoujorei. A spectacular oviposition fic with blind snake hybrid Xiao Xingchen and enemy-posing-as-housemate Xue Yang, who really didn't know what he was volunteering for when he offered to "help" daozhang with his next heat. An absolute delight!

good lies go bad by istilfearkanna One of the Yi City what-if's I like so much, showing what would happen if Song Lan is successful in killing Xue Yang and, as per canon, vows not to tell his friend anything. So naturally you have Xiao Xingchen happy about his rekindled friendship, but also deeply worried about his missing friend... breaks my heart every time T-T (thx lionfish13 for the rec!!!)

Down in the black sea by @10holmes. A mermaid AU which has to be the sweetest Xue Yang /Xiao Xingchen tale I've seen in a while, with xxc being a revered merman saving the life of a handsome pirate... without realizing that is the infamous Xue Yang, mermaid hunter and slayer of plenty of his kinsmen!! But of course, they fall in love. It's downright adorable (and deliciously angst-inducing!) Also, the worldbuilding in this one is marvelous!

promises, promises by an anonymous author. Time travel fic!!! This one follows Song Lan trying to right the wrongs of his life in the easiest way possible: that is, to eliminate Xue Yang before he has the chance to hurt anyone else. Except... he gets distracted saving the life of a poor child with a mangled left hand. Still ongoing, and XXC isn't in the picture yet, but the new chapters are highly anticipated and the writing style is so, so, so good.

the non-con opition by the same anonymous author. How do I know? None of your business!! But the awesome writing style continues here, as well as the song lan/xue yang being brought together by fate is just as awesome. It promises to be songxuexiao eventually, for now it's a delightful soulmates/omegaverse with alpha!Song Lan in rut nonconning the hell out of a mysterious omega with a foul mouth.

Sant Xingchen i el drac by @ergbolli45 A little sweet adorable spin of a traditional legend very dear to my heart. It's winter, the Yi City crew are bored around their campfire, and A-Qing wants a story. So, Xue Yang offers to tell a tale from some exotic land on the west about a little princess, a brave knight and a fearsome dragon.

sticking their dick in crazy by Sectionladvivi. I'm not generally one for modern AUs, but this one is such a stupid and shameless pwp that it skyrocketed through my rankings XD SongXueXiao, and oddly enough, the crazy one alluded in the title isn't Xue Yang!! Delicious and filthy. No thoughts, just horn.

Priceless by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior. Another modern AU!! but how can I resist, when this is Xue Yang breaking and entering happily married songxiao's domicile, who were getting ready for a very sexy night... and end up, Song Lan tied up and forced to watch the criminal fuck Xiao Xingchen senseless (and unaware it's not his husband the one in bed with him!). Evil and sexy, another wonderful fic by such a wonderful author <3

hands, reaching out by @neriine. A retelling of Yi City but with mutation-like special powers, making it especially interesting when it comes to xuexiao's backstory (song lan is also there, in the background) and the night hunts. It's sweet, sweet, Xue Yang as always a murder gremlin who thinks he has it all under control when the first thing that he doesn't know half-way about is his own feelings... Very well-written, and creative in its worldbuilding!

THIS lovely picture is not from a fic (well, not yet, unless I manage to do something cute with it >w<) but serves as an example of all the wonderful pic manips @wangxianswuji has made, which maybe it's cheating a bit for a fanfic rec post, but. They're just so good. Go check their profile and drool with me ^-^

and speaking of art, I can't not mention @wrathyforest's art done for the fic Now that I see you, particularly one of my favourite moments with Xiao Xingchen defending Xue Yang from an undesirable... this fic was in last year's rec list, and very deservingly so!

ANd now for the other ships!

Love of my life, don't hurt me by @foreheadkissesforzewu-jun This is a delightful and spectacularly cruel tale of unrequired love by a gallant cultivator spiriting his soulmate away. At least, that's what Wen Zhuliu sees it, when in fact this fic is him kidnapping and brutally assaulting Lan Xichen, while following the events of the Wen war and the sunshot campaign. Loved it, but PLEASE read the tags.

Jade pillar, bending like reed by awkwardrecline. dark jades (and dark!Lan Xichen in particular) are so so sooo very dear to my heart... this fic has it all, a tyrannical Lan clan leader who will abuse his power left right and center, a jealous didi who wants nothing but possessive love, so much smut everywhere... Cloud Recesses is never as sexy as when the jades are so unrestrained, I love it! ^-^

My future mommy's mistake by tenwudzvrs. Is this fic pretty much what many people consider nono kinks? mpreg, noncon, xue yang being an utter dick? and do I love it precisely because of it? XD pregnant Wei Wuxian goes home one evening but comes across a ruffian in a back alley, who does everything to him up to and including speaking with his husband through the phone while nailing him to the wall. Lan Zhan isn't happy. I am delighted.

What brother needs, brother gets by @foreheadkissesforzewu-jun. a modern AU jadecest pwp which... to be honest, it's pure oral fixation Lan Xichen going to his didi after he got dumped by some idiot and Lan Wangji doing the best he can to comfort him. It's ridiculously shameless and incredibly enjoyable, just to see these two come to the conclusion that the best course of action is to fuck each other!! XD Wei Ying will find a surprise when he gets back home from his travels and finds his husband has collected another husband...

furious love by @alipeeps. From Till the end of the moon, a very nasty and wonderfully in-canon insight on the disastrous marriage between Ye Xiwu (the original) and Tantai Jin. Let's just say she decides to take her marital rights to the extreme, and using the very same lust potion that originally landed her in that marriage to begin with! Tantai Jin is one of those characters that truly suffer beautifully, and suffer he does here!

a fire, made high and wild by @judiwench. A fic for Sleuth of Ming Dynasty, which is a series that wormed its way into my soul. Sui Zhou desperately searches Tang Fan (him, please, him, not his corpse) only to find him... less than good. I was seriously debating between this one and is the festering that kills a man by the same author, but... Agh, they are both amazing snippets at their obvious mutual love, and the trauma that brings it to light. Highly recommend the series and these fics!

a long sleepless night by @dying-redshirt-noises. This one is from Mysterious Lotus Casebook, a wonderful three-way pwp in the Girls' Mansion where Fang Duobing gets doused with sex pollen... of course, Li Lianhua wants to help, but there is not much he can do with his yang disfunction. How handy to have someone like a-Fei nearby to rail the young master, then!! It is sexy and wonderfully in-canon, and I'm all for it.

And I'm probably still forgetting a few fics, there is nowhere near enough jadecest here compared to what I know I have read and enjoyed... Shame on me again for forgetting to bookmark more often than not.

I'm a bit sad that I barely found any of this year's authors on tumblr (don't know if they don't have accounts here, or do under different usernames) so if anyone knows about them, repost bc I'd like to engage and give them my most sincere praise.

Also, I will say I purposefully avoided tgcf fics for fear of spoilers until I read the whole book, so... next year I'm surely filling this with hualian and such!! >w<

Finally, since we're at it, I just will get a bit of self-promotion with the 5 fics I liked most of what I wrote on this year. I'm IMMENSELY PROUD to have produced 36 fics in this year of our lord 2023 (3 per month!!! omfg!!) and while I can't claim favourites, these might be the ones I'm most proud of:

Some kind of dream. Xuexiao roleplaying after a night hunt, with some nice power dynamics, very mutually enthusiastic consensual non-con, and Xue Yang all but confessing that he is Xiao Xingchen's worse enemy... Smut and fluff, all in one. I do love the 3 year bliss in Yi City, and all the in-canon opportunities it offers!!!

Incensed nights. An INSANE endeavor for kinktober, with WangXian dreaming each night a different cozy, cruel, smutty or simply crack-y scenario. 31 fics for the price of one!! multiple pairings, I can't stress how much Lan Zhan dreams of his brother, or wei wuxian's mind follows other ships... Extremely happy with this one, and I nearly went crazy, seriously.

Shards of morning nights and forbidden kisses. My attempt at jadecest, niecest and omegaverse, all in one. ANd quite successful, might I say! Both clan leaders Lan and Nie want to find a way to claim and marry their respective omega didis, but something something clan rules forces them to play a delicate and sexy political game. It ends in a very nice orgy XD

A Comedy of Yi City Errors. This one, I'm particularly happy with the sheer amount of planning and interlocking plotpoints it has, with Song Lan coming across Xiao Xingchen, a-Qing and Xue Yang without even realizing. I'm told it is quite funny... And I like it very much >w<

...what did you call it again? the only one not mdzs in the list, this is for Till the end of the moon and it's yet again Tantai Jin suffering in his so beautiful way! It was done for an exchange, following the premise: take a canon even and make it worse. Do you think ttj had it bad in the series, with the servants mistreating him in Ye Manor? Ya have seen nuffin!!!

Once again, thanks for reading, thanks to all authors for writing, and let's have a wonderful 2024 full of fics and love!!!

[wooahaes]

under the sun [joshua]

pairing: non-idol!joshua x gn!reader

prompt: darl+ing inspired fic.

word count: 11.4k~

warnings: slightly suggestive at the very very end, but its left up to interpretation whether anything happens!! (its just two idiots in love making out for a minute). so, so much skinship and platonic-ish kisses between joshua and reader throughout. depictions of nightmares + mentions of vague illness and injuries within said nightmares. food mentions. more straight forward, flirty joshua throughout fic. mentions of joshua being mr gentle sexy.

daisy’s notes: men i am down bad for after writing this........ also sorry to anyone who asked to be tagged but wasn’t: several names didn’t pop up when i tried to @ them !! (plus tumblr for some reason hates when i try to have a taglist so if it DOES show that u were @-ed but didnt receive a notif, im so sorry!! ive had this issue for a while and i have no idea how to fix it...)

< day 3 || masterlist ||

summary: It all starts when you wake up in a field without a name or any memories to define yourself with. Thirteen men take you in as one of their own, and slowly you begin to wonder what is going on within this world… and between you and one of them.      

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Joshua already had a soft spot for you.

This, however, was normal in his eyes. Every time a new person came from maybe either Soonyoung or Wonwoo onward, Joshua found himself doting on people a little extra. When Jun came, it simply felt like they were a tiny group of people living together. But something about that number ticking over from four to five or five to six felt... More, in a way. Although he didn’t dote heavily on Soonyoung, or Wonwoo for that matter, his affections were obvious from day one. The amusement he found in Soonyoung’s jokes, the gentle way Joshua made sure to keep Wonwoo (and later Jihoon, Minghao, and occasionally Hansol when he wasn’t feeling the chattiest) acknowledged in conversations (never forcing them to speak, but making sure they felt regarded as a member of the group), his friendly competitions with the others... He found ways to make sure people felt involved. Jeonghan was better at listening and giving advice, Seungcheol’s job was to lead, and therefore Joshua kept people feeling loved. Whether that be with casual conversation or the occasional mischievous prank he pulled. With you, he expected more of the same: he would dote on you in the beginning, and then it would fade into that same love and care he provided everyone with. Truthfully, Joshua enjoyed caring for people. There was a reason he was called gentle sexy, after all (... even if it was semi self-imposed).

And at the end of your first week living with them, Joshua saw how stressed you were becoming for one reason or another. So he decided he’d get to the root of the problem sooner rather than later. Once he finished hanging laundry with you and the others, he offered up a little picnic lunch--just the two of you. He’d packed up the sandwiches someone else (Mingyu, he thought) had made, and sliced fruit for you. All that was left was for the two of you to find a nice spot to sit in. He carried his bag with food and water bottles inside of you, while you had been tasked with the very important job of carrying the blanket he’d found for you.

He’d suggested the spot the two of you eventually settled into: half underneath the shade of the tree, and half underneath the sunshine. He spread out the blanket for two of you, gazing up at the cloudy sky above for a moment. He looked at you after a moment, gently patting the spot next to him. Yet when you sat down, he didn’t notice the way he slightly shifted to be closer to you without much thought. It felt... natural in a strange way.

“Like my second day,” you mused aloud at one point as Joshua was pulling the securely wrapped food from his bag. He looked up with a hum, but realized what you meant a second later: the two of you had lazed together under the sky that day, too.

His fingers grazed against your own for a moment, acutely aware of how the side of your hand pressed against his own that day. “It wasn’t that long ago,” he gently teased, a warm chuckle escaping his throat. “But you already fit in with us.” Just like we knew you would, he wanted to say, but he held back. Would that be a little too bold to say...?

“I do?”

He smiled. “You do,” he said, his hand already finding a home with your own, your fingers already lacing together with his. “I wouldn’t lie. I think we all care about you a lot, even if it’s in different ways.”

He could see the way you bit back a thought. Absentmindedly, your thumb brushed over his.

“Even Jihoon and Minghao,” he told you. He noticed the way you raised your eyes, already caught. And oh how cute your expression was. Maybe he’d catch you in silly little moments like these again if he could see that wide-eyed look again. “They’re just taking their time. They were like this with Seungkwan and Chan, too.”

It didn’t take you long to piece together the missing name there. “What about Hansol?”

Joshua’s eyes seemed to light up a little as he smiled. “Jihoon liked him almost immediately,” he said, “but he’s the exception. Jihoon likes you enough, and so does Minghao. They just take a little longer to warm up to people.”

“What about Jun?”

“Jun’s looking out for you, too,” Joshua said. “He’s also a little quieter about it. But... you know that Chan likes you. So do Hansol and Seungkwan...” His thumb ran along the side of your hand. “And so do I.”

He could see a flustered smile cross your lips, and you turned your face away from him, looking to the sky instead. But you finally spoke a tiny, “Thank you,” a second later. He laughed a little, warm and vibrant, at how adorable you truly were.

“So... What else is inside that cute head?” He smiled at you, tilting his head as though it’d allow him to peer inside and see said thoughts. “Anything new?”

Your smile slowly dropped, and you let out a quiet sigh. “Nothing so far.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” he said, gently squeezing your hand. “It takes time. I think once you stop worrying about it so much, it’ll come to you.”

With another sigh, you turned back to face him again. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“It’s easy after a while,” he said, pulling his hand free from your own. He reached for the sandwiches he’d brought the two of you, offering one up. Your fingers grazed his again when you accepted it, and he turned his attention to unwrapping it slowly. “When you’ve been here as long as some of us have... You learn to accept each day for what it is.” He went quiet, staring down at his meal. 

And you watched as proud, bright, warm Joshua turned into someone... quieter. Like the volume had been slowly turned down, number by number, until his melody could barely be heard while still being there. He said nothing for a moment, just staring blankly, brows drawing together as he gathered his thoughts.

“Sometimes... I pray,” he finally said. “And I think it helps. I grew up Catholic,” he looked back up at you, “That much I remember. I remember singing in church....” He went quiet again for a moment, idly pulling at a piece of the bread. “Singing’s really important to me, actually. Sometimes I don’t know why, but it is.”

You weren’t sure what to say to someone so pensive, so quiet compared to the version you knew most days. So you opted for what you knew was true: “You’re good at it.”

A smile crossed his face, even if it didn’t fully seem to be him again. “You’re sweet,” he said at first, eyes meeting yours after a second. This time, his smile actually met his eyes. “Thank you. But you should hear Seungkwan. And Seokmin, too,” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich, as if to distract himself from whatever thoughts had washed over him before. “Jeonghan and Jihoon are talented, too,” he said after swallowing his bite, “but you really, really need to hear how Seungkwan and Seokmin sound--especially if they sing together.”

That seemed to bring back the Joshua you were most familiar with. Not that you didn’t like this quieter, more thoughtful version of him: you thought that maybe, in time, you would learn how to speak to him in moments like that. It was strange, though... He always seemed so carefree so far, most days enjoying the freedom that this life could give him. It almost felt as though he was made for it. That wasn’t to say that you didn’t think Joshua could have those quieter moments: you were sure everyone there had them--even Soonyoung, who seemed to carry the most laughter with him, or Mingyu, who’s silly, goofy nature spoke for itself most days. Yet with Joshua... It felt as though you weren’t prepared to see that side of him peek out so soon.

It was cute, though, to see the way he happily hyped up the others and their talents. Soonyoung loved to dance--as did Jun, Minghao, and Chan, and Joshua was happy to sing the praises of everyone there. He’d let you see too much of himself, too soon. Maybe when the two of you were closer (and, truly, he hoped you would be), he would confide in you the way he confided in Jeonghan. He hoped you would feel the same safety in confiding in him, too: he might not be as warm as Jeonghan seemed to be, but he wanted to give you a warm place to land if you needed it, arms wide open and ready to embrace you when you needed it.

That night, he woke up from a far too vivid dream. The memory seemed to fade away soon, slipping from his grasp as he sat forward, a hand running through his hair. He’d been somewhere... crowded and loud, making his way through throngs of people. He remembered being approached, yet the face seemed... blurry and distant. Like he should remember it, but something in his mind refused to let him make out specific features.

“Joshua?” Jeonghan quietly mumbled from beside him, sleep laced into his voice. He stifled a yawn, reaching out to lay a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

He nodded, slowly settling back into bed as he turned onto his side. “Just had a weird dream,” he said. “Nothing bad. Don’t worry.”

Jeonghan accepted the answer easily enough, eyelids drooping shut as he snuggled back into the space next to him. He’d talk to him about it in the morning--no need to wake Jeonghan up over something so silly. He slipped back into slumber as easily as he had pulled his blanket back over him, and was left with nothing else he could remember that next morning. He made his way to breakfast with the others, stopping long enough to glance at himself in a mirror. He looked the same, so why did he feel so... Different?

He’d waved at you on his way in, and noticed your shy smile as you waved back before returning to your conversation with Seokmin. Joshua went to get a glass, his focus purely on getting a glass of water. Maybe that’d help settle him, centering him on something other than what he dreamed about last night. Seungcheol had stopped beside him, though, his own glass in hand.

“Everything okay?” He asked in a quiet voice. “I felt you jolt last night.”

“You did?” Joshua raised his eyes to meet Seungcheol’s. “Just had a weird dream. It felt... real.”

Seungcheol slowly nodded, taking in each word with care. “Like a memory?”

“I think so.” Joshua paused. Yet... The other memories never felt so vivid. Not like this. They felt real in the same sense, but what made this one feel so intense...?

He saw you again, giggling at something Seokmin had said, and he could see the way he pressed kisses into your cheek with a smile.

Well. There might be his why sitting right there. All that was left was to chase after it.

“Today, I’m going to teach you something very important.”

Joshua’s hand was holding yours as he walked alongside the river with you, more-so to guide you than his casual form of skinship. He’d invited you along with him for a small walk through nature--something he enjoyed doing on his own sometimes, but today wasn’t just leisure. He’d left you waiting in anticipation after he finally decided to break the news to you as to why he’d suddenly invited you out again barely a few days after your picnic.

“The art,” he said, with a purposeful pause to build suspense, “of living one day at a time.” He let go of your hand after a moment, slowing to a stop as he turned to you. “I think you could use it.”

He was slightly teasing you, and you could tell from the way he was smiling at you. Yet you agreed easily enough to ‘take these lessons,’ since he’d casually offered you a ‘once-in-a-lifetime deal’ when he invited you out earlier. If there was anything Joshua was good at, it was keeping you entertained. Whether that be through playing guitar or singing, or building up to moments like these... You definitely found him charming in plenty of ways.

“It’s hard,” he said, “but I learned a while back that it’s better to accept each day as they come. It helped me relax, at least--and it helped a few of the others, so I think I’m an expert now.”

Charming and cheeky. A deadly combination, in your humble opinion, but you liked Joshua’s company too much. If he would be the death of you, then c’est la vie... At least Chan would hopefully avenge you, maybe with Seungkwan and Hansol at his side.

(Not that you had any worries with Joshua: he was strong and safe in the same way the others were. The only fear you truly ever could have was of impending heartbreak, if you let yourself fall for his charms.)

Joshua drifted away from you, plucking a few flowers from the ground before he turned back to you. “There’s a lot of beauty in nature. I think I knew it before, but living here really makes you appreciate it a lot more.” He made his way over, carefully placing the flower behind your ear.

It was at this point that you realized he’d placed the other behind his own, and he smiled at the way the two of you matched now: little yellow flowers almost making it seem like the two of you were a pair. He turned, starting off talking about his own walks he goes on sometimes, enjoying the scenery even though he’s seen it an endless amount of times by now, and you followed behind him like a duckling.

Eventually, he found a spot to sit. He nodded toward the spot next to him, the corners of his lips slightly upturned as he watched you sink down into the spot next to him.

“What do you see?”

You raised a brow at him. What?

“Humor me,” he said. “Just tell me what you can see.”

So with a long exhale, you looked around, and began to list off things. The river ahead of you, stretching toward the lake at the end of this path. The trees that surrounded both of you, having reached the more wooded area. If you looked close enough, you could see fish underneath the water, scales shimmering in the sunlight that peeked through the trees. Tiny flowers dotting amongst the grass: some pink, some white... and others yellow, like the ones you and Joshua still had behind your ears.

Your eyes trailed him up. “I see you, too,” you said after a moment.

It earned a smile from him. “Well,” he said, “I see you as well. Now tell me what you can hear.”

Part of you wanted to roll your eyes. It felt like the kind of lesson you might have as a child learning about their senses for the first time, but you began to list off things nevertheless. The sound of water rushing past (and, if you listened closer, you could hear a fish leap and land in the water again), the sound of birds fluttering through the trees. Joshua’s breathing. The wind as it rustled leaves. Your own quiet breathing, too. Part of you wondered if you could hear the others, had you been close enough to home: the sound of Jun’s loud laughter, or Seungkwan ranting at something Soonyoung joked about...

And when he prompted you next, you continued on: you could smell the flowers, light and sweet on the breeze. Feel the way that the grass was poking into your skin, the feeling of the flower, weightless, behind your ear. The warm breeze as it kissed your skin. The warm feeling of his hand brushing against yours.

“That’s it,” he said in a low voice. “The art of living a day at a time.” He was smiling again, eyes twinkling. “Living in the present moment and accepting it as that. The book Wonwoo brought back called it mindfulness, but I prefer my name for it.”

You couldn’t help but smile back at him. Even if it was a mouthful... You thought you preferred his name for it, too.

The next day, you and Joshua were tasked with cooking dinner. Conversation always came easy with Joshua: even if you had moments of being unsure what to say, he could easily fill the air and keep things flowing as the two of you worked. He always seemed to use chores as a way of checking in with you, too, just to make sure you were adjusting well. He noticed how close you’d become with Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan--although he’d noticed that a few others had a soft spot for you (namely Mingyu... and Seungcheol, but for the sake of his friendship, he’d leave his name out of it for now).

“Joshua?” You looked up from the veggies you’d been chopping for him, and he merely hummed in acknowledgement. “So... What started this whole ‘art of living one day at a time’ thing?”

He hummed to himself for a moment, mulling over the exact moment that led to it. He’d come up with the silly little name for it after he started practicing mindfulness, sure, but... “Sometimes,” he started, “I’ll get stuck in my own thoughts. It was maybe a few weeks before Jun showed up, but Cheol and Jeonghan took me out for a picnic. And--I dunno. We just sat together, just kinda observing how peaceful everything is.”

“So you had a picnic with your friends, and you started to appreciate... everything?” 

Joshua nodded, not looking up from his work. “Yep. It helped.”

“Would you do that with me?”

He paused, turning to see that you’d grown more flustered at asking your question aloud. Before you could apologize and try to backtrack, he merely nodded, “Sure. I’d gladly steal you away for a picnic if you don’t mention it to anyone else.” He went back to stirring the pot, the scent of spices heavy in the air. “I like having alone time with you.”

His heart stirred at his own words, aware of what he meant: I like being the object of your attention.

Right as he went to apologize for being so forward, you spoke up, “Then you can’t tell anyone, either.“

Joshua’s eyes were shimmering as he turned to you again, sharing a smile between the two of you as he realized that maybe things weren’t so one-sided for him. “Then... We can call it a date. If you want.”

“And if I do?”

Oh. Oh. This felt... fast. “Then you can pick our spot.”

Two days later, Joshua let you take the lead, a basket and blanket in his hands as you lead the way outside. The two of you had agreed to a little picnic lunch together, to reduce any risk of someone trying to tag along with you. Everyone would be scattered now, doing their own things as Joshua let you take the lead. He could hear the sound of Seungkwan and Chan bickering in the attic as he climbed up and into the church, and the tell-tale sound of Hansol’s warm laugh at an argument that was anything but serious. The two of you had passed Mingyu and Wonwoo on your way out, and he’d seen Seokmin go searching for Jihoon with Minghao tailing alongside him. Some of the others must still be out, finishing up their chores for the day. Joshua saw Jun on the way out, making his way back inside with an empty basket from doing laundry in his arms, and merely gave him a small wave.

You guided him out and to the same shady spot he sat with you on your second day. Together, you spread the blanket out before sitting together, chatting idly for a while..

“Joshua?” You suddenly said. “Tell me what you can see.”

His eyes crinkled a little with delight. Oh, how cute of you. He began to list things in a calm, even tone: the trees that grow thicker down the path to the lake, the river that ran near the two of you (and the shimmering of scales that are easier to see now, with the sunlight hitting them), the pebbles that were pressed into the dirt. He could hear the sound of your breathing, leaves rustling, the babbling brook... And he could feel the plush fabric underneath the two of you, the warm breeze as it kissed his skin in a way he wished would be replaced by something (someone, his mind corrected) else...

And even though the two of you had moved on from that sense, he smiled as he looked at you: “And I see you.”

Over two weeks of you being there, and Joshua felt as though he’d fallen for you too quickly. Too easily. Maybe in another life, this would have taken far longer. He would have courted you the right way, with dinner dates and long walks where he had to build up the courage to ask if he could hold your hand (out of respect for you rather than insecurity for himself: not all people enjoyed the kind of casual skinship that Joshua often saw Seungkwan partake in with...well... everyone). Maybe he should have asked you on the walk back how you felt, exactly...Yet his confidence had dwindled slightly. He felt something for you, yes, but how was he to be sure that it was love?

So he’d give himself a little longer instead. Enough time to know for sure that the enamored feelings he was almost certain of were what he thought they were. Every time a new person came, there was always this honeymoon period of adoration for them. For Joshua, it was the warmth of a need to welcome and care for a new person, and he knew himself well: it’d only last a week or two, three at the most, before it became something comfortable in his chest rather than an ever present flutter that punctuated his every action. Even if his gaze would drift down to your lips (a sign, in his eyes, that this was not the normal love he felt for new people)... He needed time to be sure.

Barely into your third week of living with them, Joshua woke up to the sound of you panicking.

He was far from the first person awake, though. You had curled up across the room, happy to be in Seokmin’s warm embrace since he was feeling particularly cuddly tonight, and you’d startled several of the others closer to you. He jerked up, running a hand through his hair to comb it back to his face as he watched you panic. The others had already taken to comforting you to no success. Seokmin kept an arm around you, trying to calm you down while your words were slammed together in this endless dribble, like water from a faucet coming out all in one heavy blast. Chan had reached out, trying to take your hand and wipe your tears as you kept trying to talk about the dream you’d had. Seungkwan spoke over you plenty, alongside Minghao, as they all tried to get you to slow down and breathe. You could talk afterward, yet you didn’t seem to listen. All Joshua could tell was that you had fought with Minghao in this dream, and then you ran away and ended up hurt, terrified no one was coming for you.

He kicked off the blanket, pulling himself free from the space between Seungcheol and Jeonghan with ease. Several others had woken up at this point, too, and he could hear Seungcheol mumbling something to Jeonghan as he was roused, too. Joshua, on the other hand, was more focused on getting over to you, falling to his knees in front of you.

“Hey,” he said softly, “it’s okay. It’s okay,” he reached for your hands, and, through your tear-filled gaze, your eyes met his own. “I’m here--”

All within seconds, you’d begun to move in for comfort, and he easily pulled you into his chest. Soon enough, he had sunk down to where he was sitting, letting you sob into his shirt as he stroked your back. His head leaned against your own, eyes fluttering shut as he focused on comforting you.

“It’s okay,” he said again in that low, soothing voice, “I’m right here. Just breathe for me, darling, okay?”

As if the words finally broke through to you, this time carrying some meaning to them, you gave him a shaky nod before squeezing your eyes shut tight. Your breathing staggered, and Joshua began to take in slow, deep breaths with you. Just to make sure you didn’t feel like you were alone now. He raised his head as you kept breathing, and he looked around at the sea of concerned faces that surrounded him now. Some of them were still half asleep (Mingyu and Hansol, Joshua noticed, and maybe Soonyoung, too), but they’d gathered around. They were a community, after all. This was far from the first time someone had a bad enough dream to evoke such a strong reaction (Joshua remembered plenty of incidents right offhand), and it created this understood feeling between them all: we check on each other, and we go from there. If you didn’t want to talk, they wouldn’t force you to.

You had realized that you disturbed everyone soon enough, and already began to apologize over and over, trying to make up a good enough reason to justify getting so upset over a bad dream. Joshua gently shushed you instead.

“It’s okay,” he repeated again. “You just had a bad dream. It happens to all of us.”

Which was enough to prompt Chan into bringing up how he woke up with a scream his first week there. He couldn’t remember what the dream was anymore, but it was bad enough that the others had to calm him down, too. He thought it was something to do with his life before, but Joshua remembered what it was. Chan had dreamed that he’d been kicked out of the group because he failed them in some way. Seokmin reached over, taking your hand in his, gently running his thumb across your knuckles as he shared his own story: he fought with Mingyu early into the latter’s first days with the group, and had a bad dream a while after of the fight getting worse.

They shared their pain with you without reluctance. They were human, too, after all: they had bad dreams and bad mornings, and sometimes they’d wake up crying like this too. Joshua just cradled you to his chest the entire time, though, tracing slow circles onto your back as you listened. Despite the stories being shared, you didn’t share your own now that you were calm enough that you could get it across better. No one pushed you to, though, past Wonwoo’s gentle question of whether you wanted to talk about it more. You had shook your head, curling up closer to Joshua before saying that you felt better now, thanks to all of them. They’d all started to go back to bed, Seungkwan telling you to wake him up if you needed to talk; he would happily listen if you needed him (or the two of you could go on a walk, too, if that’d help).

Joshua gently nudged you to get your attention. “What do you want now?” He asked softly. “You wanna go back to bed? I can get you some water if you want.”

You shook your head. “Can... Can I sleep with you, actually? You holding me helps...”

The surprise of your request made him grow a little flustered. He’d always be open to cuddling with you, but for you to say something like that...

He nodded, though, and brought you back over to where he’d been sleeping. Seungcheol wordlessly shifted over to make room for you, already grabbing extra pillows and blankets to help make you as comfortable as possible. Soon enough, you were curled up in Joshua’s arms again.

Over your head, Joshua had met Jeonghan’s gaze. His eyes flickered down to you for just a moment, and Joshua...

Well. He knew what Jeonghan was trying to ask. He merely nodded, and he watched as his friend nodded in return, understanding. A moment later, he’d seen the way you shivered slightly, and Jeonghan slid a little closer to ensure that you would be warm between the two of them.

Joshua loved you. Plain and simple. And now he was sure that both Jeonghan and Seungcheol knew (as well as every other person in that room). Everyone but you, hopefully. If he was going to tell you soon (and he would, he knew he would if he thought he had a chance), he wanted to do it right. But only when you were ready for that kind of relationship with him.

(And maybe he should call it overconfidence, but... Joshua had a pretty strong feeling that you loved him back.)

As much as Joshua didn’t want to leave you the next morning, it was Mingyu who gently nudged him awake, asking in a low voice if he’d come help with breakfast. He agreed, watching you sleep for a moment longer after Mingyu left him, and he slowly untangled himself from him. When you began to stir away, he gently shushed you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he told you to go back to sleep for a little longer. You’d ended up turning over, reaching over for Seungcheol, who barely roused before he cuddled a little closer to give you further comfort. Joshua pulled himself from his blankets, watching the wordless way that Jeonghan filled the space he was leaving, eyes meeting his for a second in a silent go on, I’ve got them.

Mingyu was already working on breakfast when Joshua came in, his conversation with Seokmin coming to a halt. The two greeted him casually enough, and Joshua was put to work soon enough.

“Josh?” Seokmin said after a few minutes, earning a glance from him. “You and Mouse...”

Joshua said nothing at first, working on. Oh. It must be obvious now, then. Is this something he’ll have to address with everyone? “We’re only friends.”

“We know,” Mingyu said. “That’s not what we’re asking.”

You don’t need me to say it out loud, Joshua wanted to say. Because they knew: everyone had to, right? Last night was just... proof that the initial affection he held for you within your first days never went away. That it merely blossomed into something stronger. Barely a few weeks into you living with them, and you’d somehow captured his heart so easily. He didn’t want to call it all-out love, because love took longer to sow. Infatuation fit better. He, for the lack of a better word between “infatuation” and “love,” liked you.. a lot.

He waited until everyone, save for you, had filed in for breakfast. They were quiet, a few whispers about you flying around the table, and Joshua... Well. Joshua wasn’t an idiot: he saw the concerned glances people kept sending him. The way no one addressed him, but kept clearly talking about him.

And then he finally spoke up, “Don’t tell them.”

No one spoke. They merely exchanged looks, all knowing at this point.

“Not now,” Joshua said. “I’ll tell them when they’re ready.  I’m not putting that burden on them this soon.”

It was still tense, but Seungkwan was the one who finally looked up from his breakfast. “Joshua... I think they like you, too.”

He wanted to say something. Anything. His face grew warmer at someone actually speaking the thought aloud. He thought you did, too: but he didn’t want to define your feelings in his mind. It would set expectations on you that he wasn’t comfortable setting: if you liked him back, then he’d want to hear you say it out loud. Not now, of course, but when you were feeling better. He knew the effects of a shitty dream all too well.

Chan barely touched his food before he excused himself, saying something about taking a walk before he’d start on his share of the chores. Joshua saw the concerned look Hansol and Seungkwan shared, and the gentle nod toward where Chan had left that Seungcheol gave them: go on. The two excused themselves as well, getting up and following after him quickly.

Joshua wasn’t an idiot. He knew he wasn’t the only person who felt more for you. He knew Chan did. He thought Cheol did, too, but Joshua knew that neither would stand in your way of pursuing who you loved. Whether it be them or someone else, they would accept it and learn how to move past their feelings. Joshua would do the same, after all. He loved you and your happiness. And if you would be happier with someone else.. Then Joshua would support you wholeheartedly while he took the time to heal.

That’s what love was supposed to be, wasn’t it?

Something weighed in the pit of your stomach for most of that day. Everyone had been concerned at breakfast that morning (which, to be fair, hadn’t surprised you in the slightest), and you had waved them off. You weren’t ready to talk about your dream quite yet, not until you tried to focus on the center of it all. By some stroke of luck, you’d found Minghao painting by himself--sitting at a bare space of wall that’d only been painted green in preparation. He’d been painting a circle of blue, merely glancing up as you came closer before greeting you casually enough.

You slowly sank down next to him when he invited you to. “Um... Minghao?”

He heard the caution in your voice, and it made him lower his brush, turning to you. “Is something wrong?”

“Did... Did I do something?” You said slowly. “I mean. I don’t think I did, but--I had a dream that you were mad at me, and--and I just started overthinking and--”

“I’m not mad at you,” he said, plain and simple. For a moment, his gaze flickered past you, but before you could turn to see what he was looking at, he spoke up again. “If I was, you’d know. We’d talk about it eventually.”

Relief hit you all at once, and you let out a sigh. “Good...” You’d toyed with your sleeve, still feeling a slight nervous edge as you sat there with him. “I just... I had this dream where everyone seemed upset. But you--”

His gaze flickered up again, and then back to your face before he finally looked past you one final time. “Stop standing around and either sit with us or go.”

You turned, and Joshua had been lingering nearby. “Oh. Shua...”

“I can go--”

“No,” you said, “it’s okay. You can stay if you want. I don’t mind talking about it now.”

Joshua slowly nodded, making his way over before he sank down next to the two of you. He watched you for a moment, waiting to see if you would continue.

And soon enough, you did. “Anyway... I don’t know why everyone was upset, but you were the only one who spoke up and said whatever happened was my fault.”

Minghao furrowed his brow, looking up. “But you don’t know what happened?” When you shook your head, he continued. “I can’t say I wouldn’t be mad if something bad happened--”

“I ran away,” you said. “I don’t know why, but I just decided I’d leave for good since you all were better off before I came here.”

Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. He merely shared a concerned glance with Minghao, who, too, seemed to be at a loss for words.

“We love you,” was what Minghao said a second later, voice softer than before. “If something bad happened, we wouldn’t kick you out.”

“He’s right,” Joshua said. “We wouldn’t--”

“You didn’t,” you said. “I decided to just... Remove myself from the equation.”

That... was different, to be fair. But what could cause them all to be so upset that you felt that was the only option? To run away and live on your own instead? They were a community: no one should have to live a life of complete isolation. Seungcheol was always adamant about that after his own time alone.

“I know I wasn’t warm to you when you first came here,” Minghao said after a moment, “but I don’t want you to leave. You’re one of us now.”

With a slow nod, you let his words sink in. Us. Although you knew they’d all embraced you with open arms, letting you into this community, this family they had so lovingly come together to form... It still meant a lot to hear that you were a part of it. That they loved you.

Minghao looked back at the scene he’d been working on, pressing his lips together for a moment. “Do you have any ideas on what I should paint? I wanted to paint a pond, but...”

Joshua looked to you. “Mouse?”

“How about... ducks?” You suggested casually enough. “A little family of ducks.”

Minghao nodded after a moment, taking your suggestion into account before he began to wash his brush. “A family of ducks it is, then.”

You stood up, thanking Minghao for the talk as you went to leave him and Joshua behind. Yet Joshua rose quickly, following after you and stopping you once you were far enough to not be overheard by Minghao.

“Did you have any more bad dreams?”

You shook your head. “I didn’t. Thank you for being there, though. It felt like cuddling with you was all I needed.”

He chuckled. “Well,” he said, “all you have to do is wake me up and I’ll be there from now.“ He took your hands in his, swinging them slightly. “I always have room for you, alright?”

Your nose had crinkled when you smiled, giggling. “I’ll keep that in mind.” You slowly let go, taking a drifting step back. “Thank you, Joshua. I’ll keep it in mind.”

It was strange. Sure enough, you woke up that next night, sobbing again. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, but Chan had woken up Joshua for you when you asked him to. Instead of merely trying to soothe you back to sleep then and there, he glanced around before he gently pulled you to your feet, guiding you out of the room to make both of you a warm cup of tea. He sat next to you, watching the slow sips you’d take, cheeks still wet with tears. Despite the urge to go ahead and ask, to figure out what upset you this time, he let you have your space. The tea seemed to calm your nerves, and he merely waited for you to make the next move: if you wanted to go back to bed, he’d offer the spot next to you again. Or you could go back to Chan, who Joshua was sure was still lying awake, waiting to know if you were fine. When you finally lifted your head, meeting his gaze, you asked to talk about it.

This time, your nightmare was about Wonwoo. He’d fallen sick--really, really sick--in your nightmare. You swore you could still feel his feverish skin from when you were checking his temperature. It was almost as if he was going to die, and the thought of that had been enough to throw you out of your dreams and back into the reality you were living in. Wonwoo was okay: that was something you could see when you first woke up. Chan had stirred, asking what was wrong, and you merely asked him to get Joshua.

“If it helps... No one’s ever been that sick before,” Joshua said, his hand on top of yours. His thumb grazed the back of your hand. “And we know how to take care of each other. I’m sure Wonwoo would have been okay.”

Something about his presence seemed to calm you easier than the others did. He sat with you a little longer until your cups of tea were empty, and soon enough he’d made a space for you once more, letting you curl up in his arms again.

The same happened the next night: Mingyu had burned his hand in that dream. The next, you were lost in the forest with an injured ankle and you were scared no one would come for you. In another, your shoulder had been injured horribly... And all Joshua could do was be there for you each night. Sometimes he’d make you tea, or the two of you would go on a short walk to clear your head, but it always ended up the same: with you in Joshua’s arms, feeling safer than you had been before. He would wake up the next morning, feeling the weight of your body against his, sleeping peacefully.

(You finally gave up after that night and started sleeping next to him permanently until you worked out whatever was causing these nightmares. Not that he was complaining: he liked having you close to him.)

Seungcheol had been watching you one night after dinner, while the group was all still together, biting his bottom lip. Joshua wondered if he thought he could figure you out had he stared intensely enough, studying your entirety as much as he could from his place across the room. Yet his calling of “Mouse,” had been enough to catch your attention, followed by, “are your dreams still bothering you?”

You looked up from the puzzle you were working on with Minghao and Seokmin, a little more flustered at the outright question. “Not really...”

“Aren’t dreams a subconscious thing?” Hansol said from his spot on the couch, curled up with Jihoon next to him. “Maybe you’re just worried about something.”

“I’m not,” you said, a little too quickly in Joshua’s opinion. “I just had a string of bad dreams. It’s nothing serious.”

“Are you sure?” Seokmin frowned. “You can talk to us--”

“I’m fine,” you said, standing up. “I’m gonna go wash up for bed.”

They let you go without a fight. No need to push you now when you were already starting to get upset. Joshua merely said he’d go try to talk to you, just to make sure you were fine--even if you weren’t ready to talk. He’d found you brushing your teeth, and you’d pouted a little at the sight of him in the entryway.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said after spitting into the sink. “Maybe tomorrow, Shua.”

He slowly drifted closer to you. “That’s okay,” he said, slowly stopping next to you. “Do you know what’s bothering you, though?”

Reluctantly, you nodded after a moment. “I think I do. But... I don’t wanna think deeply about it before bed.”

He could understand that. “As long as you aren’t bottling it up,” he said. “We love you a lot.” He reached out to brush a stray hair back into place, and his fingers lingered at your temple for a moment before he drew his hand back. “I just want you to know that.”

“I love you guys, too,” you met his gaze. “Really, Joshua. I’m okay for tonight.” You leaned in, pressing a tiny kiss against his cheek. “Just tired from doing laundry with Soonyoung and Seungkwan earlier.”

He chuckled airily, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I understand. Just don’t be afraid to tell us things, alright?”

“I won’t.” You promised. “Goodnight, Joshua.”

With you heading to bed early, Joshua... knew what he needed to do. The group was starting to disperse when he returned, and he went ahead to stop Chan before he could go with the others.

“I was thinking about going for a walk,” he said. “Do you want to join  me?”

Chan shook his head. “I’m good, Shua. Thank you--”

“Chan,” he said, a little more serious this time. “I think you should.”

Chan looked toward the others, and let out a sigh, before nodding. He understood what this was, and the two of them grabbed their shoes and began to make their way outside. Once the church doors were securely closed behind them, Joshua let out a sigh and looked up to the stars overheard, twinkling in the clear, dark sky... and then he nodded out toward the river. He and Chan walked in silence at first, making their way down the hill with slow, heavy steps, neither sure how to begin this conversation.

“I really like them,” Joshua said outright. “And I know other people do, too. In the same way, I mean.”

Chan didn’t look at him at first. “I know. I was there when you asked us not to tell them how you feel.”

“I just want to clear the air,” Joshua said, “because I know you love them, too.”

Chan met his gaze, and Joshua could see something (confidence, perhaps) waver in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it, looking away. “We’re all adults here,” he said. “I’m not going to treat either of you differently.”

“I know that,” Joshua said. “I trust you. But I don’t want any bad blood between us... and I don’t want to hurt your friendship with Mouse, either.”

With a heavy sigh, Chan shut his eyes for a moment, slowing to a stop. “As long as they’re happy, then I’m happy. I love them, Joshua, and I want them to be happy.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away again to kick at a pebble along the riverside. “I’d be happy no matter who they love. It’s not like they can date all of us.”

“Can’t they?” Joshua said, only slightly teasing. “You know how we are with each other. I think if we all wanted that, we’d work it out.”

Chan’s face grew bright red, even in the low light. “Don’t say things like that!” He said, pouting, “I--I don’t want to think about it when they only like you.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I mean it, though. We’re all more than just a group of people living together, though. Who knows,” he shrugged, “maybe in another life, we’d all be something together.”

“Maybe.” Chan sounded wistful as he stared off into the distance. “But they love you.”

But they love me, Joshua repeated mentally, turning the phrase over in his mind over and over. You loved him... “I think they do--”

“I know they do.” Chan said. “It’s kind of obvious now.” He pulled his hands from his pockets, looking back to the church. The two began their return up the hill, faster this time to get back inside now that they’ve cleared the air. “Are you going to talk to Cheol, too?” He paused, “I mean... It’s obvious. Isn’t it?”

Joshua let out a warm chuckle as he pulled open the doors. It was a bit obvious that Seungcheol felt... a lot for you. “It is. I’m not sure I’ll talk to him, though.”

“Why?”

“You admitted to your feelings,” Joshua said, following Chan inside as he turned to secure the door. “Cheol is the kind of person who’d rather deny them either until his feelings are gone or until the world ends if it meant they’d be happy. He’s just going to give them up--”

“And I will.” Seungcheol stood up from his chair, making his way over. “Are you two really talking about me?” He chuckled a little at the startled expression on Chan’s face. “It’s fine, Chan. Hansol mentioned the two of you left, and I had an idea why.”

“So you decided to just wait in the dark to scare us?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I thought it’d be funny. And it was,” he nodded toward Chan, “very funny to see his face--”

“But that’s not fair!” Chan suddenly cut in. “Cheol... It’s not fair that you have to give up your feelings.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

Chan stammered for a moment, “I--But--It’s not--” And then stopped, collecting himself. “It is, but... You give up a lot for us already.”

“They don’t love me,” Seungcheol said, plain and simple. A fact that he had long since accepted. “They love Joshua. We’re both giving up our feelings because we care about them and want to see them happy.”

Joshua felt his heart sink a little. While Joshua would have done the same for you... It felt awful to hear it said aloud, especially from someone who felt so much for you. “Cheol--”

“It’s silly,” he said. “How hard I fell and how fast it happened... But they love you, Joshua. And I know you love them, too.”

Joshua wasn’t sure what to say. “Cheol, I’m--”

“Take care of them.” Seungcheol tucked his hands into his pockets. “I know they’ll do the same.” He turned, musing aloud, “You know who to see about signing up to perform on their day...”

So Joshua nodded, already knowing what he needed to do. Chan walked ahead, following after Seungcheol. He needed to tell you soon, but... Surely, you could wait a little longer, couldn’t you? Just long enough for him to say it the way he felt he needed to. He made his way down, through the long passage until he came into the main room... Where Jihoon had been curled up, reading a book on the couch, humming to himself as he drummed his fingers against the edge. He wasn’t tired yet, but Joshua knew he wouldn’t go to his guitar until he couldn’t hold back anymore. He called out to Jihoon, already bringing up the song they’d been working on with Jeonghan and how he was going to try and finish it. He’d need help with getting it right, but...

Joshua knew how to make his feelings for you clear. Even if you couldn’t answer him in the moment, he’d sing it proudly, just so you knew where his heart fell.

Sometimes, all you had to do to find Joshua was follow the sound of a guitar being played. It always would lead you either to him or to Jihoon (or, rarely, Hansol), and once you came close enough, you’d be able to hear the soft way he mumbled his way through lyrics as he tried to figure them out. You peered around the entryway to the room he was in, watching the way he quietly worked on. He’d yet to notice you, and you watched the way his fingers moved to make each chord. Something about the way the sunlight flooded into the room and illuminated him made it feel as though you were looking in on a masterpiece. If only you could paint it--committing it to memory didn’t feel like it was enough to capture his beauty. Those soft brown locks fell into his face, eyes half-lidded as the lyrics he were working through (Should I talk to you or not? / I thought for a while...) barely audible. Was this, you wondered, what Eurydice felt when she looked upon Orpheus? Or how the stones felt when he traveled to bring her back, parting the way with ease, so moved by his song? Even if you couldn’t hear every word he sang, there was something so genuinely beautiful about how he seemed to lose himself in his music. It was similar to the way Jihoon did, too, as well as Hansol: they loved it so deeply, it was as though they were meant to sing in some way. Like music was one of their greatest loves, and it’d be cruel to abandon it completely.

Joshua looked up soon enough, though, and the music stopped as those pretty eyes softened when they saw you. “Hello, darling,” he called out, thoroughly amused that he had caught you observing him. It was just as love-filled as when he called you that during your second day there, too. “You can come in, if you want.”

As if bewitched to move from your place, you drifted across the room toward him, heart guiding you more than anything. Joshua always seemed to have room for you, no matter where he was: there was space by his side at dinner, at bedtime, or in conversations... and even now, when it was the two of you alone, he was happy to bring you in.

“Do you know how to play?” He asked, turning his attention to tuning his guitar--one of the chords must have been slightly off, since he’d kept trying to tune and retune it as he worked.

You shake your head. “Hansol offered to teach me once, actually,” you watched as he worked on, humming in acknowledgement.

“And?”

“I turned him down.”

Joshua lifted his head, this pretty, amused glimmer in his eyes. “You don’t want to spend time with Hansol?”

With a giggle, you gently bumped your shoulder into his. “Of course I do. I’d just... rather learn from someone else.”

He merely chuckled. “I see.”

Wordlessly, as he finally finished tuning the guitar, Joshua moved in closer to you so that he could reach around you. He brought in your hand to lay on the strings, the weight of it mostly on him still. His fingers are rough as they guide yours into place, and it made you wonder how long he’d been playing guitar.

“This is how you do Em...” His breath hit the back of your ear, and he paused to make sure you were pressing down the strings firmly enough. Then he strummed, and you could feel the vibrations through those strings. “Hear that?” He said, and when you looked at his face again, you could see this proud glimmer in his eyes. “And if you move your fingers to these chords,” he was already moving on, “you can get C...”

Joshua gently instructed you as he could. Em to C to G to D, always guiding your fingers and helping you keep them in place, and punctuating each with a strum to let you hear the difference.

“You’ll get better with time,” he said, “we’ll work on it.”

“So that means there’s a next time?”

He shifted away from you, returning to the position he’d been sitting in before you came. “If you want there to be one. I like spending time with you, you know.”

“Good.” You rested against his side. “I like spending time with you, too.”

He chuckled warmly. “I won’t tell Hansol you said that--”

When you whined his name, he merely laughed a little more, head tilting back as his eyes scrunched up with joy. Yet soon enough, he went back to what he was working on, no longer softly singing lyrics under his breath. He merely hummed along, trying to figure out the part he was working on.

“Y’know...” You began to toy with a stray strand of thread on your sleeve. “I talked to Cheol yesterday.”

“Mhm?”

For a moment, you weren’t sure how to bring it up. So you sucked in a quiet breath, before finally looking up to watch his face and try to gauge his reaction. “Joshua. What do you think love is like?”

He didn’t seem to hesitate. “I think it’s putting someone else’s needs before your own. Wanting to be close to them, too. Caring for them in a way that’s different than caring for other people.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he continued to speak:

“It’s the way you make me feel,” he said outright, voice softer this time, as if someone would overhear if he said it any louder. He watched the way you went wide-eyed in response, clearly not expecting him to be so forward. “I was going to tell you differently. I mean, I still will, but--”

“You love me?”

He grew surprisingly sheepish, averting his gaze before giving you the tiniest nod. Strong, warm, outgoing Joshua had been reduced to a shy schoolboy because of one little question from you. “I think I do.”

His heart hammered in his chest, and he felt as though you could hear it from how silent the room had become.

“Oh.” It wasn’t flat. Or disappointed. It was warm, and a little confused, but he could hear the tiniest thread of joy laced into it. You gently bumped against his shoulder again. “Do you want to know how I feel?”

“I do,” he said, “but...” He met your eyes again. “Will you wait?”

... Wait? You’d thought that waiting was a little pointless when the fourteen of you were living this life together. What if things were over tomorrow? Why wait forever? Wasn’t that what Seungcheol told you, too? That you shouldn’t wait to confess to him? “Why?”

“I want to say it right,” he reached out, setting his hand over yours. “Okay? Let me sweep you off your feet.”

He didn’t expect you to laugh so warmly, so full of love at how cute he truly could be. “Okay,” you said, this teasing lift to your voice something he thought you’d gotten from hanging around him so much. “Then do it.”

Joshua set aside the guitar. He stood up, turning to you and offering his hand, and he nearly chuckled at your startled reaction.

“Wait, now?!”

“Nope,” he smiled. “You’ll just have to wait for what I have planned.” He nodded his head toward the doorway, “But I don’t want to give up alone time with you yet. Do you?”

You didn’t, either. With a smile, you accepted his hand, and happily let him lead the way. Although a few others had greeted the two of you, inviting you into a game, Joshua merely told them that the two of you had already decided to go for a walk together. Before someone could try to tag along, he’d already swept you away, happy to steal you all for himself for a bit. Not that he was the only one being greedy: you liked having Joshua all to yourself, too. The way he loosely intertwined his fingers with your own, just enough to keep your hands together but not enough to trap you with him, was sweet. Although when you tightened your grip a little, just to squeeze his hand, he wordlessly squeezed back.

And if he let go of you, just to sit in a shady spot under a tree, who were you to say no when he happily offered the empty space next to him to you?

(Even if it would later net the two of you teasing from Jeonghan when he eventually found you together, hours before dinner rolled around, comfortably sleeping hand in hand.)

Celebrations were always a highlight of having this group. Yes, there was plenty of manual labor that came first... But it would always be worth it to see someone light up, getting attention dedicated to them for a night. If he could see the way you smiled every night for the rest of his life, he’d be happy with that alone. Chan had held your hand as he brought you in, bright petals filling the air as they welcomed you into the group officially. Seungkwan had placed the flower crown upon your head, lips grazing your cheek for just a second--just as everyone else did. Joshua let his lips linger against your skin for an extra second, and found himself feeling a little greedy for doing so... and for wishing that he could steal you away again. He nodded along as Seungcheol eventually did his usual toast, and smiled at the sight of Chan with his arm around your shoulder, ever the dutiful best friend to you. It was clear that everyone there loved you. If nothing else, Joshua knew that you would be loved no matter what. And if his love for you faded into something akin to friendship, it’d still be love nonetheless.

Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan had performed their little song and dance routine--and Joshua had beamed the entire time. Maybe it was because you eventually settled into the seat next to him, letting him drape an arm around the back of your chair and press his side against yours. He loved the sound of your laugh, so full of genuine love for the three as they performed. Jihoon performed a medley of his songs--some new, some old, but these medleys were normal for him. Even with broken leftovers of songs he could never find it in him to complete, Jihoon made a complete experience for everyone to enjoy. Even Hansol had a song to perform, incomplete yet so uniquely him. Jun’s monologue had been written by him, Minghao’s art piece unveiled in the same dramatic flair that he always did...

Joshua pressed a kiss right in front of your ear. “Wait for me,” he said, getting up, “This is for you.”

He watched the realization cross your face as he drifted away, getting a guitar as Jeonghan came to join him. He let Jeonghan introduce the song as he prepped the stage: it was something the two of them had worked on with Jihoon, yet only recently finished together. Soon, he was sitting on one stool with Jeonghan on the other, already playing. You recognized the song soon: it’d been the one he had practiced when he told you that he thought he loved you.

I’m falling for you / falling for you... / it’s too late to escape

(And Joshua, in that moment, was certain he never wanted to. Especially when he fell asleep next to you, smiling at your sleeping face and caressing the white rose that Jeonghan had painted onto your skin.)

The song had been part one. Part two began the next day, before most of the others were asleep. He’d departed from your side early--not early enough to beat the others, but early enough that you were still comfortable in your bed. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, already moving to make his plans. He’d be making dinner with Seokmin and Mingyu tonight, and that meant he could get everything ready without looking too obvious.

It would be hard to avoid you for most of the day, but the others were a welcome help. Jeonghan would point you to him when the time came, but Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan had been tasked with distracting you for the rest of the day. That meant staying away from the garden once chores were over, and letting him take the time to make everything perfect. From the string lights that Seungkwan had found for him to the plush blanket he spread out onto the ground... He had to make this perfect.

Seungcheol had found him while he was working. “You’re telling them, right?”

He smiled. “Is it so wrong to make it romantic?”

“No,” he said, leaning against a tree. “Like I told you... Take care of them.”

“I will--”

Yet he had let out a loud, long sigh. “Seriously... They’ve been staring at you for the past few days. How can you not say something sooner? I think I’d break if they looked at me like that.”

Joshua felt the opposite, actually: Seungcheol was in love with the group. It’d take a miracle for him to tell you how he felt, and even then... He’d probably take a thousand years to do it, too. Not when it made him look as though he was playing favorites. Joshua wondered, for a moment, if that was why Seungcheol seemed so okay to give up his love for you. To let you be happy with someone else. He pushed the thought away: maybe, in another world, Seungcheol wouldn’t have to struggle with his feelings... It made Joshua feel guilty, for a moment. But he reminded himself what they both knew: you loved Joshua.

(In another world, if you loved everyone alongside him... Joshua thought he could live with that. He loved everyone else, too, after all.)

He returned inside to bring out the picnic dinner, dessert packed as well in the form of sliced fruit. Especially strawberries, which he had carefully cut the tops off of and sliced in half. It was a simple enough gesture, but one he hoped you would love.

And when you finally came to him, you laughed. “Seungkwan refused to let me leave him until Chan finally told me what was going on.”

Joshua had been sitting on the blanket, but he rose to his feet, hands outstretched for you. “Does that mean you wanted to see me?”

“Silly...” You placed your hands in his. “I’ve been dying to talk to you all day.” With ease, you slipped your fingers in-between his. “About the two of us.”

“Does that mean there is a ‘two of us?’”

He could see you grow flustered, averting your gaze for a moment as you pressed your lip together. “What do you want?”

Joshua began to lower himself down, bringing you with him to sit together. He let go just long enough to push things aside, scooting forward so that he could be closer to you. He gently took your hands in his again, squeezing them as he gathered his courage to say what he needed to say. He knew he felt something for you, that you felt something for him, and yet saying it out loud was scarier. It made it more real.

“I want us.” He ran his thumbs over your knuckles. “I want to love you while we have the chance. I’ve thought a lot about it, and... I don’t know what brought us here. I-I don’t know what brought you to me,” he squeezed your hands, “and I’m okay with whatever it is, no matter what it is. Because you’re here,” he reached forward, fingers curving around your cheek, “and I’m with you. And... And I think that’s where we’re supposed to be.”

“Joshua--”

“I love you.” His heart was racing as he said it. The words felt at home in his mouth. “And it’s okay if you can’t say it back. But... I think I’m yours if you want me to be--”

You’d lunged forward, kissing him hard and nearly sending him toppling back. His hands fly to steady you, and he shut his eyes as he kissed you back. You threaded a hand through his hair, the other cupping his cheek as you smiled into this kiss. Deep down, there was a tiny urge to just lean back. To let you take over and kiss him and... more, if you wanted it. He let his mind go blank for a moment, savoring how soft your lips felt against his own... And then he remembered.

“I,” he said as he gently pushed you back, smiling. His hair was a little messier now. “I made us dinner. And as much as I want to kiss you again...” He cupped your face, “I don’t want it going to waste.”

It earned a giggle from you, and you pecked him on the lips one quick, final time for now. “Right,” you said, leaning away. “We have time.”

That the two of you did. He’d already begun talking about how he’d been working on this earlier with the others, just to make something that would hopefully taste delicious. The others would be leaving you alone tonight, which was ideal. He wanted to be the sole object of your affections tonight and tomorrow and every day that came after, if you’d let him.

“Maybe that makes me selfish,” he said, drawing you in once more, “I can’t keep stealing you away forever, after all...”

Yet your lips slanted against his, and it made him feel free. Maybe he was never the one stealing you away. After all.. You’d stolen his heart within days of coming here. How could he steal you when he was always yours? He’d have to learn how to share you with the others again, the tiny need to keep you close to him building inside him. Just to link you to one another, like puzzle pieces that have fallen into place...

Truthfully, as long as you stood side by side with him in life... He would be happy no matter where you were. Alone or with the others, all he knew was that he wanted you with him until the end.

general taglist: @twancingyunhao​  @wonuziex​  @synthetickitsune​ @cinnamoroxie [unable to tag?] @cherryredcheol [unable to tag?] @gyulbabie​

under the sun taglist: @shiningstar-byulxx @twogyuu @strawberri-uyu @bbmyungho @thedeeppoet @heeseung-lover686  @jeonncafe  @bfwonu @fifty-shades-of-mischeif @blackwhiteandshadesofgradient @dreamhannies @yourfavoritefreakyhan  @amethyistheart @jeonnyread  @nap-of-a-starr @anidolecalledaoife [unable to tag?] @vernxnsfool

[barbiewritesstuff]

Strauss Blocked : Part 2

---

Okay so I might make this a 3 parter... oops???

I'm sorry if Hotch is ooc but in hoping that the more I write for him the better it'll get. I'm also not that far into the series (series 4) so I have plenty of time to get to know him better

A huuuuuge thank you to my bestie @Igg5898 for beta writing this nonesense and @ravensmadreads for the inspo (and shut up you do totally inspire this, we go feral in the chat)

Tw. SMUT. Oral (both female and male), p in v sex, Spencer is NOT coping well with things and it breaks my heart and that's pretty much it....

Previous Part

---

 “He’s okay,” Spencer said, knocking on your door after everyone had already retreated to their hotel rooms. After Avery Watt’s cup incident, you had been told to go home. There was nothing left to do for the day, and Hotch would need further examining at a hospital in another town. Medics assured the team it wasn’t all that bad, but they needed ex-rays to make sure they weren’t missing anything. Reid, ever the loyal friend, offered to ride with Hotch, “The hospital released him an hour ago. They said he’d have no lasting damage to his windpipe, but he might have a raspy voice for a bit…” he added, you stepped aside and let him in. Spencer quickly made himself comfortable, turning on the kettle and prepping a mug for tea, he turned around, “I have a feeling you don’t mind though…”

“I don’t like what you’re implying, agent Reid,” you grinned, crossing your arms over your chest to hide how vulnerable you truly felt. As friendly as you and Spencer were, admitting you had a crush on Hotch -- because that’s the only thing you would ever admit to. Not even the threat of torture would get you to tell anyone that you had actually slept with him -- felt a little too private. The feelings you harboured for Hotch were your little secret, something you kept both bottled up deep inside you and close to your heart, and until you figured out what to do about them, or if these feelings might ever be reciprocated, you wanted to make sure no one else would ever find out.

“Oh come on,” he grinned, “Don’t pretend.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied. 

The kettle clicked. Spencer turned his attention towards his mug, he filled it up to the brim, just shy of spilling it right onto the case file you had placed on the desk when you came back to the Hotel. The aroma of mint filled the room, and the two of you were quiet for a moment, enjoying this small interlude in a harrowing day that had started with a dead girl and ended with Agent Strauss driving you back to the hotel, saying that “This wouldn’t have happened to him if he had been more careful,” you had been vaguely impressed by how fast that woman’s brain was rewriting history, and wondered just how different her version of the day had been. 

Spencer pulled you out of your reverie with a tap of your nose. 

“You think he’s sexy,” he stated

“Sure,” you smiled a little uncomfortably, “He’s attractive.” 

“You have a crush,” he corrected you. 

You had had a long day. You were tired, Hotch’s ‘accident’ and seeing him getting carted off on a stretcher had affected you more than you had realised in the moment, it was making you rather emotional. Spencer’s correct reading of your feelings was only making things worse. To avoid him noticing the tears welling up, you pretended to look annoyed and rolled your eyes. 

“You should do something about it,” he said, “You know he likes you too.”

You stayed quiet. 

“I’m going to the store, I have a craving for salted caramel ice cream. Do you need anything?” he eventually said, changing the subject. You hated profilers, you decided in that moment, because Reid wasn't the kind you let you off easily if he thought you were being stupid about a crush. He was a secret romantic -- a curse his mother, professional bookworm, had passed on to him -- and would do anything to make two star crossed lovers get together. If he had changed the subject so fast, it was because he could see he hurt you.

“I will take two bottles of the cheapest wine you can find, please,” you smiled

“Ooh, big plans for tonight,” Spencer chuckled, “Can I join?”

“I’m sorry, I need some time by myself. Strauss has stuck to me like shit on a shoe for the entire day, I need to be a hermit for a bit,” you said, “Besides, I’m not planning anything particularly fun. Just a bath and an early night,” you added

“That’s fine,” Spencer smiled, “I have a book on the depiction of food in 15th Century paintings that I want to finish, anyway,” he said, “Can I finish my tea?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, sitting down on your bed and patting the space right next to you. Spencer sat down, holding his mug with both hands as he took small sips. The two of you stayed quiet for a bit, enjoying the quiet.

Reid sipped his cup at a seemingly quickening pace, slurping more than swallowing now. You looked over, surprised to see tears streaking down hos face.

“I thought he was dead,” Spencer admitted in a whisper, “I thought we got into the room too late…”

“Spencer --” you said, lowering your voice to match his. You reached over, balling your hand over the edge of your sleeve and wiping his tears away with your cardigan.

“I know, I know, but Nathan --” Spencer breathed in rapidly, “I can see him when I close my eyes. Just on the bed like that,” he added, “I know Nathan didn’t die, but just because I saved him doesn’t mean I’ll manage to save someone else. And I’m scared that someone else might be someone I love.” 

“Spencer, listen to me,” you said, grabbing his chin in one of your hands, “None of us would ever put you into a situation like that, not if we can help it. You’re our friend, we’ll protect you, even if it is the last thing we do, and even if it is from ourselves. We’re not going to die on you,” you said, aware that you were making promises that weren’t yours to keep. Trying to avoid falling down that rabbit hole of thoughts yourself, you tried to joke, “And if I ever do die, I promise I will haunt the shit out of you."

“If?” Spencer asked, blubbering out a teary laugh

“Yeah, if. Deal with it,” you deadpanned back

“I hope you never die,” he said, “But if you do, I hope you do haunt the shit out of me.”

“No you don't, Spence. I’ll be a mean ghost. I’ll write on your mirrors, move things two inches to the left, make the phone ring at 2 am every night,” 

“Eh,” Spencer shrugged, “You can do better."

“Fine,” you huffed, pretending to be offended, “I will make sure your tv plays nothing but romcoms for the rest of time, and I’ll make it so that all your fantasy novels are missing the last chapter."

He gasped, “Now that’s evil,” Spencer said with a genuine smile, “I look forward to it.”

“Go get me my wine,” you ordered him, fishing his empty mug out of his hands and putting it on your night stand

“I’m going, I’m going,” he laughed, quickly standing up and jogging out of the door. You watched him leave and stayed put for a second, listening to his footsteps fade as he made his way down the corridor, wondering if you had made the right decision. Spencer had been having a rough year, Nathan had started things off and he’d been kidnapped too. The Spencer he was before running into that cornfield had never quite gotten back. It worried you. You felt bad for sending him away like that, he was clearly trying to reach out, but you would be lying if you said your year had gone completely smoothly too. 

Developing feelings for your boss was one thing, but with Rossi’s arrival and now Strauss’ interference it felt like everyone was doubting your abilities. Rossi second guessed every move you made under the guise of having more experience and knowing the job better and you couldn’t really deny that, he had worked on most of the major cases that made the bureau what it was today and he’d written so many books that most of the material you had been taught at the academy had been based on his research but it was hard to feel confident in yourself as an agent when you were trying to prove your worth next to agent Rossi, who for some reason seemed to only ever be partnered up with you. 

All in all, and especially after days like these, you wondered if the BAU truly was the place for you. But if it wasn’t, where would you go? You had never even considered another career path. You hadn’t exactly told yourself to make a decision by the end of the night, but the sooner you decided, the sooner you could make a plan B for your life. 

The prospect of leaving the BAU scared you, you liked your colleagues, and you’d miss Spencer but as much as it sucked and brought you to the verge of a panic attack whenever you thought about it, you couldn’t help but think it would make things with Aaron so much easier. You wouldn’t have to see him every day. You would finally be free to move on. 

Having a crush on your boss was unfortunate. Having a one night stand with him was bad practice at best and downright stupid at worst. Entertaining Spencer’s ridiculous thought that he might like you back was a recipe for heartbreak and misery. But your heart refused to see it that way, part of it hoped that Spencer was right whenever Aaron accidentally stood too close to you, whenever he defended you against Strauss, whenever he shot you one of his rare smiles. It tried so hard to make something out of nothing and leaving would allow you to heal from that. Maybe you’d finally be able to meet someone you could see a future with. Someone your age with a stable 9 to 5 job that wants marriage and a family. Someone gentle that other people didn’t routinely call a ‘drill sergeant and a bully’.

By the time Spencer knocked on your door again you had all but made up your mind. You took the two bottles of red from him with a smile and screwed the cap off of the first one as soon as you had closed the door, bringing it to your lips and taking a large swig. You didn’t even like wine -- whenever you went out you always took care to order the cocktails with the most fruit juice to hide the taste of alcohol -- but writing a resignation letter for your dream job required some easily accessible alcohol and you doubted the 24h convenience store next to the hotel sold ready-made Malibu cocktails. 

You sat down at the desk with a pen and notepad and tried to start it but it never seemed quite good enough. “Dear Aaron Hotchner,” sounded too formal, “SSA Aaron Hotchner,” sounded too negative and “Dear Aaron,” sounded both too informal and too much like the title of a breakup song. Before you knew it, you had drunk half a bottle of wine in the space of an hour and made no progress on your letter. 

Decision making abilities impaired by alcohol on an empty stomach, you decided it would simply be easier to tell him now. You certainly felt brave enough. 

You left your hotel room in your nightie, and made your way down to his room. You raised a fist to knock and immediately dropped it to your side. This was a bad idea, you realised, you didn’t even know what to say, but before you could sober up enough to turn around and make your way back to your own room three doors down, the door opened. Hotch stood in front of you, hair dripping water onto his bare torso. He had clearly just stepped out of the shower, further evidenced by the towel he held against his throat, patting his brand new bruise dry. 

"Thought I heard something," he said, "Everything okay?" He added, eyes travelling down your body and taking in your clothes and the half empty bottle of red you held in the hand that wasn't brushing your hair back. 

"Can I come in?" You asked and Hotch leant against the doorframe to check for an unwanted audience in the corridor. You wondered how much of your inner struggle was visible on your face, because you were pretty sure he never would have considered letting you in otherwise. 

He stepped out of the way, letting you walk in a few steps before closing the door and turning to you, waiting patiently for you to speak.

“I think I might quit,” you muttered, barely above a whisper. Hotch stayed quiet for a moment and you wondered if he hadn’t heard.

“Is it because of today?” he asked and you shook your head, “Is it because we slept together?” 

You shook your head again, “I just don’t know if I’m a good fit,” you replied

“Are you having trouble with colleagues?” he asked

“No, I --” you started, trying to find any other excuse and coming up short. Not that Aaron would have listened anyway, since he cut you off as soon as he heard what he wanted to hear.

“Then no.”

“I’m sorry?” you asked, perplexed

“No. I’m not accepting your resignation,”

“It’s not your decision to make,” you snapped at him.

“And you can’t do this after drinking,” he nodded towards the bottle of wine.

“My mind was made up before, Sir,” you replied, hitting the 'Sir' hard. You were usually on first name basis with him the second you were off the clock and out of earshot from any of the other members of the team, so hearing you be so formal made him frown.

“Right,” he said, “So it is because we slept together,” he added, you raised an eyebrow at him, feeling more and more like this was a terrible idea, if only because if you had been sober, you might have been able to defend yourself against this, “You called me ‘sir’, you’re trying to distance yourself from me. I get it, it’s fine if you regret this, but please don’t throw a perfectly good career down the drain for it,” he said, “We can pretend it never happened, it’s fine.”

As the words started to register in your head, you felt nothing but confusion. From what you understood -- or thought you understood, you had to focus harder than you ever had to in order to understand a word he was saying -- it didn’t seem like Hotch was looking at the situation the same way you were. If anything, he seemed to have thought this would lead to something.

“I don’t regret it,” you said, “Which is the problem. I don’t think being in love with your boss is particularly conducive to…” you started, “I don’t know. I think it’s better if I leave. I’m not good at this anyway.”

“In love with your boss?” Hotch repeated, raising an eyebrow up at you in surprise. You didn’t reply. 

You felt a blush covering your face as you ducked your head to look at the floor, “Perhaps,” you said quietly, suddenly regretting the amount of wine you had consumed. 

When you felt a warm hand on your chin, you allowed your head to be guided up. Your eyes connected with Hotch’s and you were surprised to find his pupils large enough that only a thin ring of iris could be seen around them, “Perhaps, or definitely?” 

You swallowed, suddenly becoming aware of exactly how close your lips were to his. Your mouth suddenly feeling dry, “Definitely,” you replied, the word a whisper on your breath. 

“Good,” he exhaled, pulling you close and capturing your lips into a passionate kiss. You froze briefly, allowing him to take the bottle out of your hand and placing it on the nearest surface he could find before all but slamming you against the wall. You squealed in surprise but it soon turned into a moan when one of his hands pulled your head back by your hair. He brought his mouth down by your neck, nipping, kissing and nibbling flesh as he travelled down your body, leaving goosebumps wherever he touched you. 

His other hand cupped your breast over the fabric of your nightgown and massaged the soft flesh, soon rolling your hard nipple between two of his strong fingers. You moaned again, trying to keep it down as Strauss got out of bed above you and walked to the bathroom. Aaron sank to his knees and lifted your nightie up slightly. 

Having genuinely not expected to walk up to Hotch's room to seek the release you so wanted, you hadn't bothered to wear particularly enticing underwear, and perhaps that was for the better. In one swift movement, he grabbed both sides of your panties and tore them off. Not giving you time to recover, Hotch's mouth colided with your slit. He peppered it with kisses for a moment before taking pity on you and sliding his tongue between your folds, the scalding temperature contrasting deliciously against the cold outside temperature of Alaska in December which seemed to seep in even with closed windows and closed doors. 

Your legs buckled slightly but with one strong, steadying hand, Aaron held you up. His other hand came to grab one of your ankles which he moved to rest over his shoulder. Like that, he could finally access you in full. He lapped at you, sometimes sucking at your sensitive bundle of nerves until your juices dripped down your chin and the familiar coil of pleasure tightened in your stomach. You were on the verge of release when Aaron looked up, crossing your gaze, and winked. His pupils were blown out, eyes dark with lust and cheeks flushed out. He looked so good you almost wondered if it was all a dream. To reassure yourself, you grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged at it a little. Hotch let out a groan, the vibrations of which were enough to send your spiralling towards your orgasm. 

Once down from your high, Aaron came back up with a satisfied smile but far from having quenched your thirst, cumming had ignited a fire in your core than could only be put out by his own release. You pulled him against you, kissing him with a passion he hadn't imagined to be possible, and pushed him towards his bed. 

The back of his knees hit the mattress and he fell down on his back, you wasted no time climbing after him, trailing your fingers up his legs and towards his member agonisingly slowly until finally, you brought his pyjama pants down and wrapped a hand around his cock. Aaron looked down. He liked how pretty the nail polish colour he had picked looked as your hand bopped up and down, jerking him off. But soon, all thoughts escaped him as you leant forward and licked a strip of skin before taking his tip in your mouth. 

Hotch hadn't had many blowjobs in his life, just a few in high school. Any sexual partners he had had after that weren't a fan of them, and he understood, even if he missed the feeling of it. You didn't seem to mind it, you seemed to enjoy it, even. Aaron felt his cock hit the back of your throat, you let out a stifled albeit pornographic moan and brought one hand to your core. Aaron's hand darted out to stop you, he couldn't bear the thought of you coming again without feeling your pretty cunt wrapped around his cock, tightening as you came. 

Obeying his silent order, you took him out of your mouth and shuffled upwards, sinking down on him seconds later. The effect of it was immediate, and Aaron couldn't help but chuckle. You usually weren't one to keep quiet, whether at work or in bed, once you weren't feeling shy anymore, you were quite vocal, but with him fully sheathed inside you, feeling you up so thoroughly, all thought left you and the only things to come out of your mouth were content little sighs and needy little whimpers. He couldn't lie, he liked the effect he had on you. 

You bucked your hips gently once you adjusted to his size but the speed wasn't up to his standards. Although Hotch liked slow and passionate sex as much as the next man, he had been waiting to feel you, to fill you, for weeks now. He would take his time in the morning. Hotch flipped you over, trapping you in between his furnace of a body and the bed as he pounded into you. Leading you from one orgasm to the next as he hit that spongey part of you that had you seeing stars over and over again. Soon, his thrusts faltered. He drove himself in you one last time before coming with a low grunt, painting your walls white with his release. 

After a few seconds, which he spent catching his breath and happily looking into your eyes, he pulled out of you. Aaron made his way to the bathroom, where you heard the water run for a moment before he reappeared, towel in hand to clean you up. 

"You were so good for me," he whispered as he wiped the cum off of your core, "So good, sweet girl. How about some sleep?" he offered, but before you could form your answer, your eyes grew heavy and you drifted off to sleep.

----

You stood under the jet of Hotch’s shower, soaping yourself up mindlessly, mentally preparing yourself to face the team and Strauss after spending the night -- and morning -- with Hotch. He had kept his promise and gone easy on you, but sex with Hotch was amazing and you now had to scramble to piece your brain back together in time to face your colleagues.

Remembering that Aaron still needed to shower, you stepped out, drying yourself off with the towel he had laid out for you before making your way into the bedroom. He was still lying in bed, naked and looking like a dream as he read the newspaper. 

“You want coffee?” he asked, moving one of his legs off of the mattress. 

“Sure,” you replied, allowing yourself to stare as he walked towards the coffee machine and poured you a cup. Aaron brought it to your, handing it over so you could wrap your hands around the ceramic and take a sip. You could see he wanted to say something, probably about last night, but he seemed to think better of it. 

“I need to go to my room to get changed,” you said, “See you at breakfast?”

“About yesterday --” he started, giving in to the urge.

“Please --”

“I just need to know if you were serious when you said you were in love with me?” he cut you off, “I need to know it wasn’t just the wine talking.”

“I was,” you replied. You came up to him, extending your arms around his neck and kissed his lips, “What’s that saying? Drunk words are sober thoughts?”

He grinned, “Just making sure," Hotch said. He looked into your eyes for a moment, his smile slowly fading, “And about resigning?”

“I don’t know,” you said, leaning in for another kiss. Aaron happily reciprocated, deepening the kiss almost immediately before pulling away a few seconds later

“You need to go,” he said, “Get changed, go to breakfast. Because if you keep kissing me, I might never let you leave this room,” he added.

You nodded, letting go of him before turning around and walking back to your own room, making sure to stay unseen by anyone possibly walking by. 

You made your way to the breakfast table ten minutes later, dressed and ready for the day. Hotch had agreed to arrive a little later, spacing out your arrivals would avoid raising suspicions. 

“Morning,” you said, waving slightly at Spencer, Derek and Rossi who had already taken their seat and filled their plates. The two younger men were engaged in a heated discussion and Derek did not hesitate in immediately pulling you in. 

“Favourite early morning tv shows when you were little?” Morgan asked 

“I was a Scooby Doo girl,” you said, sitting down on the nearest empty chair. 

“Ah hah!” he exclaimed triumphantly, “See, kid, no one watched college quiz shows before school.”

“That’s not fair,” Spencer defended himself, a mouth full of scrambled eggs, “You asked her for tv shows! You never mentioned tv shows with me!”

“Okay, favourite early morning tv show, then?” He asked again, pointing a half eaten croissant at Spencer

You looked down at the boys’ plates, Spencer had loaded three plates with eggs, a gravity defying pile of pancakes and a few pieces of watermelon while Morgan had skipped all healthy options and gone for all the chocolate containing pastries you could find. Right on cue, your stomach growled

“I liked Wishbone,” he said, chewing through the overcooked egg.

“That weird show about the dog?” You asked, vaguely remembering catching an episode or two as a kid whenever nothing else was on.

“Yeah, I liked it. It was cute. And my mom used to say it was the only decent thing on tv because at least it taught us about literature,” Spencer replied.

“Spencer --” you started, about to bring out some statistics of your own on the success of the show. 

“Morning team,” Hotch said, appearing behind Morgan already dressed in his crisply iron work suit, a stark contrast from the casual clothes everyone else wore, “How did everyone sleep?” he asked, quickly glancing over at you with a barely-there smirk. 

“Like a log,” Morgan replied

“How are you feeling?” Spencer asked

“Good as new,” Hotch replied, “My voice is still a little hoarse, but that’s par for the course,” he added, leaning over to grab the coffee pot. 

“Come get breakfast with me,” Morgan said, tapping your arm lightly to catch your attention. You stood up and followed him towards the buffet, stopping a few feet away from the table to tie your shoelace.

“I know I’m not much. I look like a pipe cleaner with eyes, and I have the strength of a nine year old girl, but I need you to understand something,” Spencer said, his voice lowered so you wouldn’t hear and staring straight at his morning cup of tea, “Y/n is my best friend,” he continued. He took a deep breath, gathering all the courage he had, and looked at Hotch, “You hurt her and I will hurt you.”

“How did you figure it out?” Hotch asked after a pause, mentally going through everything that could have betrayed you and finding nothing.

“I spend enough time around you to recognise the smell of your body wash, sir,” Spencer replied with a small smile, “And I’m being serious.”

“I know,” Hotch replied, “I’ll take care of her,” he promised.

[danganronpafan777]

(You dont have to write this right away) dra male cast x reader that has the peronality of ibuki mioda like in the morning its like "good nom nom noming you sexy cutie"

I love this request sm Tsurugi Kinjo:

You were.... Interesting

With you and Yamato, he had two crackhead friends

He'd raise a confused eyebrow at some of the more random things you'd say, and would cover his ears everytime you had an instrument in your hands, whether you were playing or not 

He's completely thrown off guard when you confess to him, but finds himself accepting your feelings anyway

Tsurugi never imagined himself with someone like you, who would distract him from his trauma and give him breaks from work by tackling him into the couch and cuddling him until he can't breathe 

But he just can't keep himself away from you 

You never hesitated to grab his work, and throw it across the room and hold him to force him to take a break

He would blush a bit whenever you wrote a song for him, and would have to cover his face with his arm to hide his blush if you actually played it for people

It would take years to convince him to do a duet with you, and his voice would be so shy and relaxing, but you can't record it or tell anyone about it He does his best to keep you out of trouble, and it rarely works 

But for some reason, he still loves you 

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

“…!?…Good morning, Y/n…”

Mitch Higa:

He didn't mind your personality too much, as he had met much louder fangirls in his career, but he never would have imagined himself dating you 

Sure, he flirted with you and you replied with some witty comment, but he expected you to blow him off like every other girl in the class did for some reason

Even with his superiority complex, he will beg on his knees for you not to scream into your microphone again

He's get very confused at some of the strange things you say, and might even blush (to which he'd mentally slap himself)

If you wrote a song about him, no one would hear the end of it for the next week

He would brag about it to all his teammates and in nearly every interview of his to the point where you basically have to release it to the public

He'd try to seduce you in a duet, but would end up failing miserably Chaz Thurman style (please don't cancel me for that reference-)

Similar to what Haruhiko said about Satsuki, he jokes that of all the girls he wanted to be with in the class, he got stuck with the loudest one 

But despite your eardrum killing music, there's no one else he'd rather be stuck with 

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

He’s caught off guard for a moment, “You’re the cutie Y/n~” 

Kinji Uehara:

He was slightly started by your upbeat and loud personality, but he didn't mind too much, having experience in dealing with hyper kids 

Your classmates are impressed by his ability to calm you down-

He might ask a few questions at some of the strange things you say, but eventually just accepts that you say random things (He still might blush a bit at some of your more affectionate words)

He's a bit reluctant, but eventually agrees to perform a duet with you, having experience in singing through hymns in church 

He's not a huge fan of your music, and might politely ask for you to turn it down sometimes, but he still supports you and your passions

He would invite you to play for the kids at the orphanage, as long as the songs were child friendly and wouldn't destroy their eardrums

During one of these private concerts, you played a song that he wasn't familiar with, and was shocked when you said it was about him

It was probably the most flustered and flattered you ever saw him, and the kids teased him about it for weeks, begging for you to play it again and again

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

“I’m…not sure what that means, but thank you…”

That doesn’t stop the blush on his face

Haruhiko Kobashikawa:

Didn't expect to have a classmate this loud, but was able to match your enthusiasm 

He screamed when he heard you play for the first time, and his ears continued to ring for hours later, but he still supports you

Haruhiko might try to learn a new instrument such as the guitar (mostly to impress you), but would constantly forget cords and have no idea what he’s doing

If the two of you did a duet, he'd try to act cool and romantic but would end up forgetting half of the words

He’s confused and kinda concerned at some of the weird things you say, but will blush a bit when you say something romantic 

If you made a song for him, he would brag about it for as long as he possibly can

The two of you are two loving and energetic idiots, and while Haru’s not a great singer, he’s your number one hypeman!

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

He’s red for a moment before responding, “Good..uh, whatever to you too! Haha.. you’re the cutie…”

Kakeru Yamaguchi:

He initially flinches at your loud personality, but eventually gets used to it

Meaning he can keep himself from passing out at some of the affectionate things you say to him

He'll timidly ask what you mean whenever you say something random, to which you'd always say something even stranger 

You confuse him sometimes, but you still help him with interacting with others and expressing himself more 

He was oblivious to your feelings for him, so Kinji and Kanata probably had to spell it out for him

If the two of you ever sang a duet, he might have to stop a few times, and you oblige, not wanting him to be uncomfortable 

Your music definitely surprised him, but it does help him speak up (to ask you to please turn it down mostly-)

You like to perform private concerts for his sister, and use some of your tour money to help pay for her treatments 

Kakeru's entire face would turn pink if you wrote a song about him, and would completely pass out if you even spoke about releasing it 

From this relationship, you're able to remain serious at times, while Kakeru slowly lets loose and expresses himself more

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

Kakeru.exe has stopped working.

Teruya Otori:

He wasn't really expecting you to be so...loud, but that was alright! 

He admired your talent and the two of you were fast friends

You, him, Haruhiko, Satsuki, and Kiyoka probably start a band together (Sunshine Squad-)

He makes his classic confused faces whenever you say something random, and even his ears would turn red whenever you seemed to flirt with him

He would be extremely embarrassed and kinda shy to do a duet with you, but would be more confident as he gets older, but he still would prefer to keep it between the two of you

The moment you mention writing a song about him, his accent would leak

"Y-Ya made a son'!? A-abou' meh!? I-um..." 

He's happy! He really is, but he's also nearly at a loss for words 

His face would get even redder if you released it to the public, and his dad would probably play it on repeat at Otori Mart to tease him

The two of you are extremely affectionate and happy together (but Teruya still blushes his head off in front of others-) 

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

“W-Weh!? Y/n- um…G-good…nomming to ya too…”

His face is too red to say anything else

Yamato Kisaragi:

The both of you just clicked when you first met, and if he wasn't already a fan, he was now

He might yelp and cover his ears a bit at some of your louder songs, but he still jams out to "I squeezed out the baby yet I have no idea who the father is" while he's creating a million dollar invention 

Mikako is starting to get worried about him-

It might take him a minute to process some of the random things you say, his brain trying to make sense of it, but if it's even remotely romantic, his brain might briefly shut off completely 

Despite the pleas of literally everyone, He'll amplify your instruments and even add fireworks or create smoke machines for your concerts

He'll love to perform a duet with you, and will cry a bit in happiness if you write a song about him

If you actually play the song or release your duet to the public, he will be beet red for the whole day, but has never felt happier

He tries not to brag, he really does, but he just can't get you off his mind

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

He smiles wide, “Hey, Y/n! You’re the cutie!”

He cups your face and happily kisses you

Utsuro:

You tired him out honestly 

It took a while for him to admit that he likes you, as every time you talked/yelled and lightened up a room with your energy, he'd think or say that he wants you to shut up

...So why didn't his luck do it for him? 

He shuts down Akane when she offers that maybe he secretly doesn't mind you or your voice

Even before you started dating, you were affectionate and outgoing to him, throwing an arm around his shoulder and dragging him to some stupid class activity 

Whenever he dozed off, either in class or in the safety of his dorm, you would either shake him away or loudly snore on top of him 

It frustrated him to no end, but you never left his side 

One day, Utsuro told you he could make you the biggest rockstar in the world, give you wealth, fans, inspiration, anything you wanted if you would just leave him be

You refused.

In a rare moment of seriousness, you told him that you knew how he felt, and how lonely he was deep down and he just wanted to be understood, not used for his talent

From that point, Utsuro saw you in a different light, and slowly but surely, he began to confront his feelings 

Sure, you were his crazy and outgoing S/o, but at the same time, you were someone who truly sympathized and took the time to understand him 

"Just leave the BGM to Y/n! I made a whole album for you, Utsuro!"

"...Thank you."

"Of course, cutie~! This is for you and -"

"No...thank you. For understanding."

Yuki Maeda:

His reaction to meeting you was the same as meeting Satsuki (except he found himself liking you more)

This one's going to be a handful...

He would always compliment your music and any song you wrote for him, even if you were practically screaming to the microphone 

He had researched you prior to entering Hope's Peak, but he was happy to learn more about you!

You offered to teach Yuki how to play an instrument, and eventually he agreed to it

He was... mediocre at best, but he was still your boyfriend, and you wanted the world to see him

He can't really match your energy, and sometimes he feels more like your caretaker than your boyfriend, but at the end of every day and every kiss, the feeling of butterflies in his stomach lingers as all he can think about is you

"Good nom nom noming you sexy cutie~!” 

“H-Huh!? Y-Y/n..!”

[moxley]

Would it be alright to get some recommendations on how to get into wrestling? I'm intrigued by your posting but I also have no idea where to start do I just search "most homoerotic wrestling" and go from there?

i will do my best to provide a baby starter guide … this is kind of how i got into things, but streamlined so that you dear reader can figure out what you want out of life, instead of fucking around consistently like i did

“isn’t wrestling silly and fake?”

yes. however, the unreality of wrestling and the blend between what’s real, what’s staged, and the genuine athleticism of the wrestlers makes for incredible long-term, partly improvised narratives that can happen nowhere else. you’re not watching a sports show — you’re watching a mix of theatre and gymnastics.

“is wrestling for me?”

suggestion: watch supereyepatchwolf’s video , “professional wrestling is stupid and beautiful and i love it”. it’s meant to convey the wonder and fun and joy of this silly silly thing to people who are not into wrestling or don’t understand it. if you’re still curious about wrestling when you’re done, it’s time to start watching for real.

“ok, i’m still curious. now what?”

fuck it, we ball. the beauty of wrestling is that whilst there are long term narratives, all the individual matches need to convey is the struggle of that moment. whether it’s a long term feud coming to a head, friends who have to compete or have turned on each other, someone struggling to the top of a championship mountain, or a challenger coming in to try and dethrone a champion - all that matters will be conveyed to you by the tone of the match and the commentators. so you can just pick up anywhere and dive right in. but across dozens of promotions, where do you start?

well, for you i’ll do what i did, which is pick on all elite wrestling (aew). they’re not better or worse than anyone else, but bluntly for me i think a lot of the wrestlers there are cute and they’re easy for me to find. here are a few matches off the top of my head, not in any particular order. i list their names and then what show you can find the match on. most of these can be found on the internet archive, if not all.

MJF vs CM PUNK (Revolution 2022) — dog collar match. they’re collared and chained to each other. mjf hits cm punk over the back with the chain and it leaves very real, visible marks. extremely sexy if you’re into that sort of thing.

DARBY ALLIN vs JON MOXLEY (Dynamite 08/05/2020) — i’ll be real this one awakened something in me it’s just very. um. it’s just very. umm. uhhh. 😓

DARBY ALLIN & STING vs TEAM TAZ (Revolution 2021) — this is fun because it’s filmed in a warehouse location and more cinematically. it’s goofy, but has some intense stunts too. i love this match. bonus points because sting literally picks darby up and throws him.

BRYAN DANIELSON vs KAZUCHIKA OKADA (Forbidden Door 2023) — so fair warning, bryan breaks his arm for real in this match. you can’t really tell except for how he stops using his right arm for the last 10-15 mins of the match, but i love this match. bryan and okada are just both great and very intense. (btw okada broke bryan’s orbital socket last month, please help)

MJF vs KENNY OMEGA (Collision 28/10/2023) i wanted a kenny match on this list and this one is recent but great, in part because of the respect the two men show each other, rather than being an outright feud. my heart grows three sizes whenever matches end in a cuddle.

i also recommend AEW ALL IN 2023, which was a ppv at wembley and literally every match is incredible and a banger. fucking rules.

“i watched those and they sucked!”

i dunno man try wwe or npjw or gcw idk or maybe you just don’t like wrestling

“i watched those and they RULED!”

congrats! now look into aew’s weekly shows or their numerous PPV shows, and start looking at shows from other promotions like wwe, njpw, and gcw! search the names of wrestlers you enjoyed to find more matches that they’re in! be free, and let the half naked sweaty men consume your brain 💜

i hope this helped 🥹

[shroomboi67]

Welp i havent posted in a while so lets have some of my headcannons to celebrate the new version of the sexy blonde bioweapon.

Wesker wears his glasses constantly due to his light sensitivity and unnerving eyes he keeps his glasses on even when inside if he needs a break from wearing them he closes the blinds in his office for a momentary reprieve from the metal indents in his nose. If you did go to his house for whatever reason you'll find its rather dark his walls a seal grey with dark oak furniture but its cozy in some retrospecs.

Wesker suffers from chronic insomnia spending nights at his work desk drinking coffee and filing forms even if he does end up going home he ends up cleaning his house top to bottom and over again until he's exhausted all his options and either goes for a walk or goes to bed. Most pills and drugs have little to no effect on the man due to the progenitor virus in his blood stream so no amount of sleep aid helps. He's just glad his glasses cover the bags under his eyes so he's not seen as weak. Small mercies and all that. But if you do want to get him to sleep lay him down gently and lightly run your hand up the arch of his back to his shoulder blade amd back down and that man is putty.

There is literally no startling or surprising this man. Don't even try as its a futile attempt this man is stone cold you can try anything and his face doesnt budge just don't try startling him he'd choke the life out of you in seconds.

This man is an excellent cook he can make you a four course meal effortlessly cooking everything perfectly with a flick of his talented hands his favourite things to cook are wine infused meats. Delicious.

He definately had some previous dancing experience with that slim, hour glass figure, built chest and lithe easily lifted body he makes the perfect partner for an elegant salsa dancer.

Despite how it seems Wesker is awful at romance he can cook you a nice meal, give you a dance but it ends there he cannot woo anyone he can be quite flirty when it suits him but flirt back and this man melts he is so weak when it comes to someone whos interested in him which who would be? An uptight blonde with a god complex? Yes please.

But if he does get into a relationship he is distant at first but you can bet this man is possessive as shit he would kill someone for you always wanting to hold you in his arms, touch every inch of you, kiss you breathless his favourite pass time is to climb on his your lap and just bury his face in your neck inhaling your scent till he's dizzy.

Due to Weskers past of being treated like a weapon and growing up in a laboritory things can trigger him like nightmares or occassional things like needles. He will immediately break down into sobs and trembling limbs. Avoiding and distancing himself from anyone using.. other methods to stablise himself that is less than ideal but with no family he has no one to go to but find ways to ground himself.

Anything else you want me to mention or anyone else you want headcannons for please let me know! Thank you my lovelies ♡