#anyway! this needs so much work fml but the general idea's there.

[bromcommie]

Sokovia falls in spring.

Much of it is blurry now, forced into oblivion, but he remembers that part with vicious detail - the unassuming, forgettable prelude to hell; Lazarus Saturday, the intermittent tinkling of bells down their cul-de-sac and the heavy wet air while he sat out on the wide expanse of the balcony, sipping on his lukewarm coffee and sneaking a rare indulgent cigarette while the house was empty. It'd done little to ward against the chill of the morning, the kind of cold that broke him out into consistent goosebumps and seeped down into his bones, seemingly misplaced in early April. The metal railing stuck to the warm skin of his forearms when he leaned over it to peer idly down at the street, to where snow had accumulated in front of the row of brand-new luxury apartment buildings; all alike in their appearance, all that same shiny glass and metal and blinding white that had become popular in the last fifteen years, fifteen years too late in regards to the rest of the world, and that would fall apart in about as many. All laid out like a poor man's idea of opulence and a stark contrast to the unkempt street.

He'd hated it initially - hates it still, really. The cheap sterility of it, this sign of the times made palpable infrastructure that was devouring what was left of a once beautiful neighborhood, clashing with the old, dilapidated villas and steadfastly grey communist architecture. But Sandra had said, it's a peaceful neighborhood. There's a good school nearby. Sandra had said, There's a life for us here, love, and it'll be a good change of pace. Look how beautiful the view is from up here. Sandra had said: just because you grew up in exile doesn't mean Miho should.

And she was right. So a pristine-white, new-century-cold castle on the hill it was. He could still fit his dream of a future in Sokovia into a different shape, he told himself; what mattered was what was inside, anyway.

He'd watched as a gaggle of children slipped and skittered their way downhill from the international school, kicking the stray willow wreaths that had slipped off the heads of previous passersby back and forth until they'd get stuck in the muddy slush, and found himself wishing again that he'd gone with his wife and son to visit her mother in Kralyev Pole. But he was scheduled to go back to Vienna in the morning - it was a familiar rhythm by now - and Sandra had just pressed a firm kiss to his cheek and said we'll see you back home at Easter in a purposeful, loving tone that almost got lost between the distracted flurry of packing and her distant eyes.

Looking down at the murky palette of the street below he'd wished, not for the first time, that it'd all felt a little more like home. That he wasn't itching to be back on that plane out of the country the second he landed, a feeling amped up to 11 the second his family had set foot outside the building.

But then again, Novi Grad had never been his home; not really, not in any way that mattered.

He'd been in a foul mood already when his father called, the glaring absence of sound from the open double doors behind him and the grey sky pressing down over his head like a steel trap setting his teeth on edge. He'd let the phone ring and ring for almost a full minute before guilt had finally, inevitably, won over.

Their conversation had been relatively brief, caught between perfunctory and utilitarian, much like all of their other phone conversations since he'd started splitting his time between Sokovia and work abroad. They talked about the unexpected snow, about what is to be done for the anniversary of his mother's death, about whether Mihailo would like a BMX sports bicycle for his birthday. He'd tried explaining that his son still didn't really know how to ride one well - that at eight, the five-speed he already had was perfectly fine, thank you, but it's a nice thought. His father had just scoffed.

"You were never athletic as a child either, you know. Never climbed trees with the other children. Always too afraid of falling, I suppose," he'd said mostly to himself, and then, "If the kid actually had someone around to teach him, maybe he'd be learning faster."

On a different day, he might've let it slide. On a different day, he wouldn't have let the sentimental old age in his father's voice feel like a personal affront. "Nobody ever taught me, and I learned just fine."

This wasn't necessarily true. For most of his young life, Zemo had been coached by a wide plethora of professionals: French, German, Latin, shooting, violin, tennis, horseback riding, mountaineering, art, diplomacy, you name it - he'd had a teacher for every single one of the skills his parents and his surroundings had deemed necessary for a young man of his stature, and eventually, with more or less effort, he'd excelled at all of them; but never alone. There'd been Katya, the au pair that practically raised him in his childhood, young herself and lost in a foreign country and still the warmest presence he'd had in his life. There'd been Oeznik, who'd governed him with a much stricter hand than his own parents, but who had guarded Zemo's life with his own nonetheless.

It's just that things like big-game hunting and history lessons took precedence over things like bike riding and soccer, which was just as well, really. He never liked being mundane.

At the Academy it was a different story altogether. Unnoticeability, the skill of being no more interesting than the person next to him, only came later, and at a cost.

"Just make sure your Germans let you out in time for Easter," the old man'd muttered, "if they even recognize that sort of thing."

He remembers that part clearly, too, that bitter emphasis: your Germans. Like Zemo'd picked the wrong thing to do with his abundant time and money, the wrong way to employ his very specialized skill set, the wrong side of the family to lean into; like his name and heritage were something he'd picked himself and not something that was hammered into him by way of memorization, that he was taught to take pride in and embody down to the last detail. Like this mild-mannered, West-oriented young man who spoke German and a handful of other languages softly but deftly, who subsumed all his wilder impulses and hid his smoking and all his other dirty habits from his family and from the world behind a courteous smile wasn't an inadvertent yet nonetheless direct creation of the man on the other end of the line. A prince and a baron, turned a lowly gastarbeiter.

"They're Austrian," Zemo'd said simply. "Look, I have to go - Sandra and the kid just came in. I'll talk to you later."

It's not the last conversation he had with his father, but it's the last one he rememebers. Subtle judgement, the smell of smoke and cold and stale Turkish coffee and all those little clear bells, ringing, ringing, ringing: Lazarus rising, just to fall a week later.

Novi Grad falls on his son's birthday, the 11th of April, the day before Easter. It takes everything else down with it.

This was not the first time Novi Grad had fallen. Historically, this wasn't even the first time it’d suffered this extent of loss of life. But it was the first time the ruins were cauterized before something could grow from in between them like weeds out the sidewalk. It was the first time that what was lost was acknowledged as such: dead, gone, our condolences for your loss. Nothing more to be done.

There’d been excuses, of course, and platitudes spoken by the feeble remaining government, echoes of the UN and NATO and the EU he'd learned to recognize as empty long before he started working in security consulting:

We empathize greatly with all Sokovian nationals in this trying time. We’re doing everything in our power to stabilize the situation. We’re doing everything we can to never let a catastrophe like this happen again. It’ll just take a few weeks, a month, a year or two or five to rebuild, but patience is of the essence here.

We’re all very horrified, you understand. There aren’t enough resources for everyone, you see. It’s a very complicated situation, there’s no one answer here – now’s not the time to be pointing fingers. But we’re doing everything we can. We’re sure it’ll be enough.

Daće Bog. That’s what his mother used to say – like a vague handwave to ward off all the legitimate fear and anxiety before it can ever take root in her body, in her home. If she saw even a glimpse of it in her son’s face she’d take it as a clear sign that she had personally failed somehow, which would, exacerbated by alcohol and pent-up emotion, upset and anger her more than the original problem itself. Zemo'd learned how to bury and snuff out these embers of fear very quickly.

There's talk of persecution of royalist dissidents abroad - God will protect us from the infidels, you'll see. The regime changes and the country plunges into economic crisis - so what, it'll pass, God willing, and then we'll be able to return. Yet another war breaks out, nothing but a parasitic twin to the last, devouring the country from the inside out and draining off fresh blood – well, it's nothing new. it'll be alright, God willing we'll get the bastards before they get us. Crkli dabogda.

And he’d just nod his little head and allow, very neutral, very acquiescing for the tender age of nine, thirteen, sixteen - sure, of course, it'll all be fine. Much later, he'd adjust the poorly-fitted camouflage greens that would squeeze too tight around his neck and say in that same steady tone of voice into the payphone receiver, Don't worry, mama, don't worry, it'll be taken care of. Daće Bog.

That’s all she’d ever say on the topic, or any topic really. God save us, God willing, God will provide – that was her eternal refrain. Well that and, just you wait until your father gets home, if she'd perceived him to be acting up somehow - more often than not by virtue of sheer existence alone.

This was, of course, yet another half-truth - his father never really took to beating him. There were always bigger things to worry about, things that belonged to the grander picture - too wide for him to fit into as an important variable and just manageable enough to squeeze into his young body like a manifestation of a future his father was pouring all his hope and dreams into.

Either way, the fear was there. The fear of disappointing, of coming up short to the ideal of what a son should be; it was all it took to keep him in line. Father, God – they became two sides of the same coin, the same promise of impending judgement. Both instilled far more trepidation in him than comfort.

It’s only when the bulldozer finally digs up what remains of their old country estate and he can pull his father’s unrecognizable, mangled body into his lap – so small and frail, when did his father get to be so small and frail? – that he thinks: what was I so afraid of all those years?

*** Excerpt from my Zemo character study - turned out to be much longer than a snippet, but I got carried away. Still very much a WIP, but thought I might as well post it until I figure out where I want to go with it.

Translations: Daće bog - God will provide, God willing Crkli dabogda - may they all die, God willing gastarbeiter - (German) foreign or migrant worker

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

My oh my! Nemo!

First thing first, hi! I love your artwork and your writing, and your ocs are stupendous. But why I suddenly see this and my first instinct was: Oh! I have to tell Nemo about this! I was watching gifs for a movie and I found this movie from 2006 "The Prestige" and watching Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johansson my first thought went to your couple Jacob Frye and Dorothea Starrick. I don't know if you ever done it but seeing a Magician!Jacob and Assisitant!Dorothea just tickled my mind with it. Just an idea.

Anyway, have a beautiful day and the best of luck in your works!

Hello hello Nonnie,

good evening!!

Please do accept some refreshment (It would be Happy Hour time in Italy now lol).

First of all, let me tell you how honoured I am that you thought of me and my darling brainchildren when watching something!

I was SO MOVED when I read it, that I actually had to show it to my husband!! :D so truly, it made me immensely happy! (and I truly apologize for not answering earlier, my anxiety put me in "energy saving mode").

AND OMG YES.

YES.

THE PRESTIGE IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE MOVIES (it has so many good memories connected to it! it was one of the first movies my husband and I watched together when we first started our relationship! It was summer, and we were at an open air cinema, and omg all the memories!!) AND IN GENERAL, I AM GREATLY FOND OF PRESTIDIGITATION

AND OMG YOUR BRAIN.

YOUR BRAIN.

LIKE.

I SEE YOUR VISION.

LIKE, OMG, LOOK AT THAT LAST GIF.

LOOK AT THAT LAST GIF.

THAT COULD BE THEM, THUMBLING DOWN UNDERNEATH THE STAGE AND JUST REALIZING HOW UTTERLY FREAKING IN LOVE THEY ARE FOR ONE ANOTHER.

I NEED TO DRAW HER AND JACOB LIKE THIS FMALKSBGNFOAERKGOINERAW

LIKE OMG I AM SO SOLD.

SO SO SO SO SOLD.

I already know that my brain is going to start ticking and I will need to infodump on someone soon fml.

BUT NONNIE.

NONNIE.

LEMME SMOOCH YOUR BRAIN.

BECAUSE THIS IS TOP TIER IDEA RIGHT THERE.

RIGHT THERE.

AND IT'S PERFECT FOR MY DOTTIE AND JACOB.

AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.

THANK YOU NONNIE <3

THANK. YOU. SO. MUCH.

--Nemo

[melladh]

Ok my brain isn't done with this show. I recommend everyone to just scroll past tbh. We (the voices in my head) have vaguely coherent thoughts on Lian (TV series version only, probably wrong, but hear me out).

The fight in episode 1

Lian's experience

(watched ep 1-8 at this point, but this tries to only take into account things that have happened earlier in their timeline)

The general stressed sensation of every second past a meeting time

It's fine, try to be cool!

More fuckery turns up that he has to fix (fml work issues don't i know them)

Boy who consistently refuses to let him in on his personal opinions since coming back from living abroad shows little bit of personality while waiting (catch Lian's smile there)

Boy sees him and tries to share, but Lian doesn't have time and starts worrying boy is having a bad time, so ask if he's bored and offer to fix it somehow, but still has to work

Boy IMMEDIATELY closes up again and only presents front, then in that same front he starts talking about being in love?

And this isn't love, this is a facade, this hiding yourself entirely from someone. It must hurt to hear it all the time when it's clearly not true - when every action you take makes someone close up, whatever this currently is, please stop calling it love

But Lian says nothing, he tries to focus on work. I don’t need this right now. And the boy follows him and insists.

I can imagine the internal conversation.

It's fine, but this isn't a good way to treat you just hanging around like this and waiting. How about you get to go home and be yourself instead of being miserable because you have to be with me?

No? Let me at least get you something to eat, you must be hungry, let me try to take care of you too in this mess.

But no, again that frankly creepy facade, the boy never admits to having wants or needs (in the date flashback later with the woman, where Lian is clearly bothered but polite about her advances, how much does he wish for Kuea to claim him and actually care about what's going on?)

And then the boy is back on that love thing and Lian tries to put it nicely, he doesn't act loving, only devoted, so this idea that this is love can only be inexperienced naivete

So fine, Lian WILL speak, he's pushed to his limit about being nice about something that's frankly making him miserable, and he says what's on his mind. Still trying to put it politely. This isn’t love - you don’t love me, and you’re not letting me love you - but I’ll marry you anyway. I believe you’ll let me in, in time.

But still the boy pushes him and now the boy wants to call off the engagement? That's not what Lian wants, he's has been trying this whole time, but it's hard when you get nothing back, and he's trying to live up to who he has to be as well, in the pressure for success and being worthy and keep spoiling this brat. He wants to take care of him but fine, we can live separately, you can be free of me, I just want to save you

And with everything he's been trying to do, is still trying to do, now the boy accuses him of saying the boy is a bother and a waste of time? Has all of Lian's work and sacrifice been dismissed? Do all his attempts at courtship count for nothing for this spoiled brat who's had everything handed to him?

But he's not a speaker, and he feels violated for having been pushed to that point, to saying things he already feels are mean, even if true.

And now the boy's upset with him for it. So this is what happens when you speak, instead of just trying to show him you could be for real if he just lets you. "You can't stand it? Wow. You are amazing."

So then he's angry, and still being pushed

"I want to marry a human. Not a doll." But you're not interested in being a human with me, you're just hiding from me

In this stressed, pushed, slightly violated space, he calls him a haunted doll because that's all he's giving out, all this bullshit that he knows so well where it's coming from but he keeps hoping it will drop. He's trying so hard and it's not enough, and this boy who just sits there and gets spoiled by Lian has the balls to say that what the boy does is never enough, when all the boy does is shut him out?

"Someone drive him home. Someone who isn't afraid of ghosts."

Why did this boy he's always loved get so distant, so mean, so selfish.

And how can he fix this?

[cheshiresense]

Could you do KoyoIchi (Swinging Pendulum), please? C: I have fallen in love with this ship ever since you posted those short one-shots (or whatever they are called) a while ago.

Hmm you didn’t include an AU and I’ve already done a KoyoIchi SP AU in the last batch, there’s not much else I can write for that I think. So how about KoyoIchi post-canon AU instead, where Ichigo’s human body gives out after the Quincy War, so he ends up splitting his time between SS and the Human world afterwards.

Edit: omg wtf did i do i went off i’m sorry this ended up semi-background pre-relationship KoyoIchi + like a dozen unrelated headcanons thrown in it’s a mess fml

1. It’s not usually done, he’s technically dead now (but not a Shinigami, not a Quincy, not a Hollow, and not even a Human anymore), but he has a lot of support from a lot of people - Kisuke has no qualms crafting him a gigai that would allow him to draw his blade even without stepping out of it, and Kyouraku basically gives him free run of Soul Society after they hammer out what Ichigo is supposed to do there considering he’s now stronger than the entire Gotei combined but also he’s technically only eighteen years old.

(It would be scarier, Kyouraku thinks, if Ichigo’s moral fibre hadn’t already proven itself superior.)

In the end, they settle it like this - Ichigo attends the Academy part-time for all the lessons Kisuke and Yoruichi and Shinji never bothered hammering into him because it was never important to the war, attends university in the human world, and the rest of his time is his do with as he pleases, whether that’s taking missions directly from Kyouraku, visiting with his friends in various squads and being roped into doing paperwork, or digging up yet another rebel faction or secret invasion out of the woodwork (”Please don’t dig up yet another rebel faction or secret invasion out of the woodwork for at least a month, Ichigo-kun. One month, you hear? We still haven’t finished cleanup from the last one.”).

Because it’s Ichigo, it works. it’s not like he wasn’t already coming and going from Soul Society when he was still human. The Shinigami have let him get away with far too much already to put restrictions on him now, especially considering he’s saved all their asses twice over now, and that’s not even counting all the trouble in-between. If there are some who complain, well, there are even more who are capable of making sure nothing ever comes of it.

So okay, no rebel faction, no secret invasion, but Ichigo’s not Ichigo without something to work towards, and he’s always wondered why the Shinigami side of his family was slumming it out in Rukongai when they’re supposed to be nobility like Byakuya and Yoruichi. The answer is simple enough - Aizen had mind-whammied everyone after Isshin ran off and fabricated a coup that resulted in assassinations courtesy of the Second Division before the remaining Shibas were ousted from Seireitei overnight.

(It was only too easy for Aizen to make them believe it.Nobody ever questioned whether or not the Shibas could. They had the power. They just never had the ambition, which nobody could understand.)

No way is Ichigo going to take that lying down. So he goes and yells at Kyouraku, who says it’s complicated and would take time, but Ichigo reminds him of the Visored and Kisuke and Yoruichi and Tessai, all let back in in the wake of the Winter War. If they could be pardoned, and rightfully so, why can’t the Shibas too?

“I’m not saying they can’t forever, Ichigo-kun,” Kyouraku says placatingly. “But Central 46 will want… assurances-”

“You mean they’re scared to let my family back in cuz they might still be a little bit pissed from having three-quarters of their members murdered in their beds,” Ichigo summarizes flatly.

Kyouraku sighs and gives up all pretenses of a neutral party. “If you have a better idea…” He waves a hand at the general situation, eyes dark and intent on Ichigo’s face.

Ichigo snorts and straightens up. “Yeah. It’s called ‘being too strong to fuck with’. The old bastards are in session right now, aren’t they? I’ll be right back.”

One day, Kyouraku muses as he watches Ichigo go, this will probably not work, and it’ll come back to bite them all in the ass. Then again, Central 46 has run Soul Society their way or no one’s way for far too long; Yama-jii had always given them too much power. They’d learned nothing from Aizen, so maybe Ichigo is exactly what they deserve, straightforward and running on emotion, but fair, always, and decent in a way that Kyouraku thinks most of their government has forgotten how to be, if they ever knew to begin with.

One day, even Ichigo’s threats won’t make Central 46 back down. But a god doesn’t bow just because someone demands it, no matter how important they think their bloodline or rank or status is. And Ichigo is probably the closest thing they have to a god these days. A god, with plenty of friends to back him up if he needs it.

So Kyouraku leaves him to it - better Ichigo than him, less headaches in the long run - and he isn’t at all surprised when Ichigo sweeps back into his office five hours later, expression grim but triumphant, reiatsu still writhing like a living shadow around him as he informs Kyouraku that his clan will be needing their old estate back.

Kyouraku pushes over the paperwork he’d completed an hour ago, authorizing the full restoration and compensation of the Shiba Clan. Ichigo smiles at him almost fondly, features only slightly tinted with a banked sort of inhuman rage that he carries around almost constantly these days - it’s three steps left of his cousin’s memory, with Hollow glinting in his eyes and the shade of his ancestor draped across his shoulders. He’s gone again in the next moment, off to tell his family the excellent news, and Kyouraku thinks it was probably a good thing Yama-jii died when he did. However reasonable Ichigo still is, he is no longer that boy with the too-forgiving heart who took the insults they served him with all the doormatted self-sacrifice of a storybook hero.

(He came back from the Soul King Palace equal parts pensive and victorious, with old eyes and reiatsu levels they could no longer sense and a terrifying sort of detachment when he looked at them all. But his friends had fallen on him without care, only relief, and the icy distance in Ichigo’s mien had melted. Kyouraku had understood though, in that moment, that Soul Society would stand only so long as Ichigo allows it.

He likes Ichigo, he genuinely does. Jyuushirou had too. That hadn’t stopped his old friend from attempting to leash him, which had almost backfired in the end and literally only hadn’t out of the goodness of Ichigo’s heart, and it doesn’t stop Kyouraku now from catering to Ichigo’s whims. Only time would tell if this approach will work better or worse than Jyuushirou’s law-abiding one, and in the meanwhile, it doesn’t hurt that Ichigo doesn’t actually want anything Kyouraku doesn’t want to fix anyway. Soul Society has been his home for over nine centuries now. He does not want to see it burn. If that means dragging it kicking and screaming into a new era with a boy their world created to fight their wars for them looking over his shoulder, then Kyouraku will do it gladly.)

It takes almost three months for the Shibas to gather again and move back in. They’d scattered, after their exile, all across Rukongai, but Kuukaku is their head, and Ichigo has single-handedly wrested back their birthright for them, and when both of them call, the rest of the clan answers, trickling in in twos and threes and fours, suspicious and wary and not inclined to trust anyone but their own, but they come, and the first thing they do is raise wards around their home strong enough to withstand a siege from the Royal Guard.

“That’s everyone?” Ichigo asks, looking from the civilians to the once-Shinigami to the children. All in all, they barely make thirty total, and over half of them are from their retainer families.

Kuukaku shrugs tiredly at his side. She’s never looked older than she does now. “You know Isshin’s staying in the Human world for your sisters, but other than that, pretty much. Everyone else is dead.” She pauses. “Well, except one, but I doubt he’ll come. Kaien’s wife’s brother,” She adds for Ichigo’s benefit. “Koyonagi Senzou. He was the Kidou Corps Commander before Tessai, demoted to Academy teacher after some mission the higher-ups covered up. He was the only one the Gotei kept on after we were kicked out. Never found out whether he actually wanted to stay or if Central 46 insisted he stay. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter. He’s wasted at the Academy, too useful to kill but too dangerous to let out of sight. As far as I know though, he’s still there.”

Ichigo frowns as he digests all this. “And he won’t come by to see you guys?”

Kuukaku shakes her head. “I doubt it. He was never really one of us.”

“Why not?”

Kuukaku shrugs again. “He never wanted to be. I didn’t know him very well, Ichigo, but he loved exactly one person, and she was more or less killed under Kaien’s watch. It wasn’t Nii-san’s fault of course, but she was sent out on a mission given to her by the Thirteenth Division lieutenant, and she never came back. He attended her funeral. That was the last time any of us saw him, although our Shinigami members reported glimpses of him in and around the Academy over the years.”

Ichigo hums. Kuukaku gives him an arch look and then snorts. “Shall I prepare a room for him anyway when I start renovations?”

Ichigo grins at her. “That’d be perfect, Kuukaku, thanks.”

2. Of course Senzou has heard of Kurosaki Ichigo. You’d have to be living under a rock in a cave in a different dimension to not have heard of Soul Society’s God-Slaying Saviour.

And of course he’s a Shiba. That lot always was more trouble than they were worth, too powerful for their own good, and too reckless or too confident or too stupid - Senzou has never really figured out which - to hide it from the world or at least play it down to keep the world from turning on them because of it. No subtlety at all. And look where it got them in the end.

In the aftermath of the Quincy War, he hears of the Shibas’ return to the city, and he can feel the power in the wards they almost immediately erect around their home. For protection, no doubt, because old dogs can learn new tricks after all, but to Senzou, it just looks like a very pretty cage. Why they - or the Visored for that matter - came back to serve the very people who betrayed them in some of the worst ways possible is beyond him.

Not that it makes much of a difference to Senzou. He’d ignored them for decades before their exile; no doubt, he’ll happily ignore them for decades more. They’re related only through an unfortunate marriage, and considering both parties are long dead now, what little obligation he had to them likewise expired years ago.

But, he thinks, as he watches an increasingly familiar head of orange hair slide into his classroom, someone forgot to give that memo to the Shibas’ newest pride and joy. Even Senzou - with expectations that literally no student has ever met - can admit that Kurosaki Ichigo attending Kidou lessons is a complete waste of time. Senzou spends his days teaching idiots the incantations for each of the ninety-nine standard spells, trying not to scratch his own eyes out when he has to grade their papers, and making sure they don’t blow themselves up when they practice producing them. Even the most advanced of the sixth-years can only manage spells in the fifties range, with a fifty-fifty chance of average-at-best success.

Ichigo memorized all the incantations in the first two weeks he was here. His first essay on the use of forbidden Kidou - instead of a regurgitation of laws citing the illegality of them that everyone else turned in - became a dissertation on their pros and cons, arguing that every case in which they’re used should be thoroughly investigated not only by Central 46 but also by a panel of Shinigami, and why the laws against them should be amended to allow for unexpected circumstances. The brat even had the gall to throw in quotes of interviews he’d conducted, and if it had been anyone else claiming to have received firsthand and eye-witness accounts of forbidden Kidou usage from names like Tsukabishi Tessai and Hirako Shinji, Senzou would’ve set them on fire for being such a bad liar. He couldn’t even fail the boy for incomplete research because the books he referenced might not be found in the Academy library but they all had Urahara Kisuke stamped on them.

And his practicals? A high level of reiatsu usually means the caster would have a harder time performing Kidou, especially when they’re first starting out, too much power shoved into the lower-level ones, too little control to hold together the higher-level ones.

Not Kurosaki Ichigo. That boy spent the first week putting holes into everything except his targets, went away for a weekend, and then came back with singed eyebrows and bags under his eyes but a resolute set to his jaw and picture-perfect Kidou at his fingertips. He didn’t even need the incantations anymore. And to make him even more of an anomaly, he could perform spells right up into the nineties. In fact, the higher the difficulty and reiatsu output, the better he was with them.

There is nothing the standard Kidou curriculum from any year can teach him. His learning curve is insane, and his essays read like he’s gearing up to go toe to toe with Central 46, never mind an Academy class.

He doesn’t need to be here. Senzou knows it. The other students know it. And Ichigo most certainly knows it too. And with the special allowances granted by the Soutaichou himself, he doesn’t even need permission to skip. The boy’s been given unprecedented free reign to come and go as he pleases, and yet he comes back, week after week after week. He doesn’t even have the decency to sleep through Senzou’s lectures. He’s a flickering candle in the corner of Senzou’s eye, all flame-bright hair and brown-gold-brown eyes and shadows that won’t stop moving, and that unwavering attention he pins on Senzou every time makes it damn clear exactly what he’s waiting for.

Shibas. No subtlety whatsoever.

The bell rings. Bags are packed. There’s a scramble for the door.

“Kurosaki-chan,” Senzou calls in bored tones without looking away from sadistically adding an extra assignment to the board. If no one notices, that’s their problem. “Stay behind.”

There are some interested whispers and prying eyes, but one glance from Senzou sends them scurrying away. And then Ichigo is there, sauntering up with his perpetual scowl - not at all like Kaien this one. The two are as charismatic as each other, from what Senzou’s observed. But Kaien had people wrapped around his finger because he had a knack for putting them at ease and making them feel special and making himself both approachable and worth looking up to. Ichigo on the other hand scared a lot of people when he first showed up at the Academy with an armful of books and a gruff disposition that didn’t lend itself to making allies, let alone friends. He wasn’t arrogant, just introverted, but it made him the kind of genius that people resented.

And then Senzou caught him in the hallway one day, looming over a mousy-looking fifth-year student huddled on the ground, and at first, he’d thought Kurosaki was bullying her. Everyone’s golden boy, picking on a shrinking violet of a girl. But then Ichigo had stooped down and gathered up all the books spilled across the floor before offering them back to the girl. The girl had still cowered, but she’d accepted them, and when Ichigo reached out and hauled her to her feet, she’d flinched but hadn’t moved away once she was on her feet again and Ichigo had let her go.

Then Ichigo had told her, quite clearly, “Next time someone can’t keep their hands to themselves, break their fucking wrists. Or kick them in the balls. Or tell them to fuck off. Start a scene so they have to stop. Do something. Don’t just fucking stand there.”

And then he’d stormed off, and the girl - Fujiwara, from the Kyouraku family - had stared after him, all baby-duckling wide eyes. And the next time Senzou had happened across her, it was just in time to see her chuck one of her textbooks at the head of one of her bullies. Said bully had staggered back, and then purpled with anger, already moving forward with fists clenched. Half a second later, he was on the ground and wailing from a broken nose, and Ichigo was standing over him, murder glowing gold in his eyes and black reiatsu streaking his hair and pooling at his feet.

Nobody had touched Fujiwara after that, especially since the girl had taken to following Ichigo around. Ichigo had still scowled like no one’s business, he’d also been seen kicking Fujiwara’s ass in one of the training rooms, they studied together in the library, and they ate together in the courtyard when Ichigo happened to stay for that.

And gradually, other students joined in, tentatively, some nervous, some with hero worship in their eyes, all hopeful. Ichigo never turned any of them away, but one day, he started a debate in the library about laws that would take species outside of Shinigami into consideration that ended with raised voices and enthusiastic opinions that got the whole giggling bunch thrown out, and another day, he suggested a free-for-all game of tag where only Kidou could be used to catch each other which ended with everyone sweaty and gasping and wanting another round, and in calmer in-betweens, he answered when the others finally asked him about what Hueco Mundo was like, what the Material world was like, what Arrancar were like, what Humans were like, and he never lost his temper with them even when he had to explain something more than once.

He was still blunt and borderline rude and not at all like Kaien, like a Shiba, not outgoing or friendly or instantly personable. But the charisma was the same, people couldn’t help but be drawn to him, and it took weeks for Senzou to realize he was just as susceptible to it as Ichigo’s growing circle of friends within the Academy. So susceptible he was literally stalking him everywhere just to see what other chaos he was sowing.

That’s probably why he wants the boy gone so badly. He’d sworn he’d never forgive the Shiba Clan for taking his sister away from him, the only leeway they got was that he wouldn’t actively go after them either because Miyako wouldn’t want him to, and it wasn’t as if it was difficult to keep such a vow. He’d never liked the Shibas anyway. When they’d been slaughtered and cast out, and no assassins had shown up at his door in the aftermath, all he’d thought was good riddance.

But Kurosaki Ichigo…

Under any other circumstances, Senzou would be thrilled. Here is a student who challenged the world around him and brought a storm to the Academy.

But this isn’t any other circumstances, and as Ichigo stops in front of his desk, a beast glinting behind his eyes and a dead king’s inheritance pulsing in the shadow splashed at his feet, Senzou meets his gaze and slices a mocking smile in his direction.

“Kurosaki-chan,” He starts, smirk widening when Ichigo’s eyebrows twitch. “The Academy’s star part-time pupil. What exactly are you still doing in my class?”

Ichigo shrugs. “I signed up for it, your lectures aren’t boring, and I’m trying to figure you out.”

Senzou feels his smile grow fixed. “And how is that going for you?”

Ichigo scruffs a hand through his hair, pauses briefly to frown tug at the shoulder-length strands like he wants a haircut, and then shrugs again. “You’re the one following me around all the time, what do you think?”

They stare at each other for a moment.

“Let me make one thing very clear, Kurosaki-chan,” Senzou finally says. For once, he doesn’t feel like weaving his usual mind games. “I don’t know what your clan has told you, but I have no desire to play happy families with them. I know you Shibas tend to be all about bringing family together, but I am not one of you.” His lip curls. “Do not push this issue any further than you have. Am I understood?”

Ichigo cocks his head, something animal in the way he watches Senzou now. “Kuukaku agreed to reserve a room for you at the compound if you ever want it, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m not here for that.”

Senzou’s eyes narrow. “Then what are you here for?” He gives the boy a sardonic look and cuts him off preemptively. “Besides class.”

Ichigo grins, quicksilver bright, and something in Senzou recoils with surprise.

“I don’t really have a plan,” The boy tells him. “But I’m getting my family settled back in, and making sure nobody can fuck with them ever again.” He aims another considering look at Senzou. “If you don’t wanna be all buddy-buddy with them, that’s fine. It’s not any of my business if you wanna hammer your shit out with them or not. But you were connected to them even if you didn’t like it, and that doesn’t change just because that connection’s gone. So I guess what I wanted to figure out was whether or not someone’s fucking with you too.”

Senzou opens his mouth, then closes it when nothing comes out. How embarrassing. He settles for a derisive smile that feels a touch too brittle on his face. “I don’t need your protection, God-Slayer.”

Ichigo immediately makes a face. “Don’t call me that. And I didn’t say you did. But when I start something, I like to see it through, so I thought I’d check just to be sure.”

Senzou scoffs with disbelief. “Then why didn’t you just ask?”

Ichigo rolls his eyes like he thinks Senzou’s being dumb on purpose, which is a new experience for Senzou. Usually he’s the one rolling his eyes.

“Well you didn’t want me to, did you?” Ichigo says, looking exasperated now. “You were curious about me, and all the stalking was recon or whatever.” He levels a thoughtful look on Senzou before snorting with something like amusement. “You are the type. But yeah, anyway, now you know. If you need help, the offer’s open indefinitely. But I’ll stop coming to class if you don’t want me here.”

He trails off, arching an eyebrow in question. When Senzou doesn’t reply, the boy shrugs once more, adjusts the strap of his bag, and turns to leave.

Senzou… Well, he’s pretty much been on the back foot this entire conversation, hasn’t he? There’s something about Ichigo that just… throws him off. It’s frustrating. Unnerving.

And yet… Ichigo didn’t push. Kaien would’ve pushed. The rest of his family would’ve pushed. It’s what Shibas do when they want something - push and push until they get what they want, a single-minded persistence hidden under their signature cheerful geniality that makes the rest of the world believe them to be the nicest clan in all of Soul Society.

Miyako had said no, the first time Kaien had asked to court her. But he’d asked again and again, until she’d said yes, and she’d been happy to, Senzou had made certain of that, she’d been perfectly willing, had found a good man in Kaien and been glad she’d finally given him a chance.

But she’d said no first, and Kaien had pushed, and it just… rubbed Senzou the wrong way. Because once upon a time, Shinigami had plucked them out from Rukongai, dusted them off and provided the training and shuffled them into the military, all expenses paid, but no had never been an option, and that had become all the more true after Miyako became such a public, vulnerable figure, not only Third Seat of the Thirteenth but also wife of a clan head.

When Central 46 had come knocking, interested in Senzou’s prodigal skills with Kidou, they hadn’t even needed to drop Miyako’s name for Senzou to know that saying no then wasn’t an option either. He’d been pushed into their service, and it had taken Miyako’s death for Central 46 to finally leave him alone, solely because he had no one else for them to hold over his head.

It’s not the Shibas’ fault, not really. It’s been long enough that Senzou can admit that, if only to himself. Miyako’s choices were her own, and even if she hadn’t married him, Central 46 probably would’ve found another way to get to him through her. But Senzou has always been petty and vindictive at heart, and he’ll blame the Shibas for the rest of his life, because at the end of the day, they’re just like all the other nobles in this place. What they want, they’ll push until they get, because privilege is in their blood.

So Senzou flounders when Ichigo doesn’t push his advantage. The boy is already halfway to the door, and somehow, Senzou is certain, if he doesn’t say anything now, Ichigo won’t come back. It’s so wildly different from what he’d expected, so unexpectedly not-like-a-Shiba, that he has to fumble for something to say for an unforgivably long moment. Him, fumble. This whole conversation has been one unexpected surprise after another, and later, Senzou will blame the shock for his next decision.

“Wait.”

Ichigo stops and turns back. He doesn’t look surprised, but neither does he look triumphant or even just smug.

Senzou suppresses a grimace. “The school has nothing left to teach you about Kidou.”

Ichigo nods in unabashed agreement.

Senzou snorts softly. “But I do. And I guarantee it won’t bore you.”

Ichigo blinks, and a crooked smile slowly curls at his lips. It doesn’t erase his frown, but it softens his brow and makes his features look less harsh. “You sure you wanna teach me?”

Senzou scoffs and pulls out his chair. “I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” He gives himself a mental shake and drags a grin back onto his face, sharp enough to cut. “Sit your ass down so we can figure out a schedule, Ichi-chan.”

Ichigo instantly loses the smile and glowers like a thundercloud. Senzou all but basks in the familiarity of it, inwardly relieved at being back on steadier ground.

“Don’t call me that, asshole!”

He probably shouldn’t have offered, should’ve just let him go and good riddance. But Senzou hasn’t been taken so off-guard so quickly in a long time, and it had been frustrating and unnerving but underneath both…

There is a storm waiting on the wings of Seireitei, and Kurosaki Ichigo is the one holding its reins.

And Senzou. Senzou is just curious enough to want to see what that storm will bring.

3. “Did your hair grow three inches over the weekend?” Senzou asks the moment Ichigo walks into one of their weekly lessons.

Ichigo dumps his bag in a chair and scowls at him. His hair has been swept up into a bun, which is certainly a feat considering the last time Senzou saw him three days ago, it had only brushed his shoulders.

“This body is seriously shit at regulating itself,” Ichigo grumbles. “I didn’t have time to go to the barber’s, and Kuukaku threatened to shave me bald if I tried to chop it off with my Zanpakutou again.”

Senzou squints at him. “You realize that’s not normal.”

Ichigo rolls his eyes. “I didn’t have a knife on me, and it was getting in the way, okay? Don’t judge.”

This time, it’s Senzou’s turn to roll his eyes. “That wasn’t what I meant, Ichi-chan. Shinigami bodies don’t suddenly grow several inches of hair overnight.”

“You’d be surprised,” Ichigo mutters before shaking his head, and Senzou watches as black reiatsu crackles lazily across his shoulders. “I’m just kinda weird. Excess reiatsu plus funky biology apparently means random hair growth and dye jobs.” He shrugs. “Kisuke’s still figuring it out.”

Senzou hums noncommittally. “Urahara Kisuke. Your… mentor?”

Ichigo pulls out the books Senzou had given him last week, along with a notebook and the latest essay Senzou had assigned him. All are tagged with multiple sticky notes.

“Kind of?” Ichigo sounds like he isn’t all too sure himself and even less concerned about it. “He’s… Kisuke.”

Senzou eyes him curiously. “You don’t care that he basically engineered half your life then?”

Ichigo stills. Then he glances up with Hollow-gold eyes, and Senzou smiles and meets them without flinching.

“Why would you say that?” Ichigo asks in even tones, but the office suddenly seems darker.

Senzou shrugs carelessly. “Urahara has a bit of a reputation for… working outside the box. It’s not just me who thinks it, Ichi-chan. There aren’t many who knew him who wouldn’t take one look at you and guess that he had something to do with your existence.” He pauses. “Although admittedly, I suppose the worst of these rumours come from the ones who want him back most. Central 46 doesn’t benefit half as much without his skills in assassination and technological development. It must’ve been a blow to their egos when Urahara refused their invitation to come back after the Winter War. They might be hoping enough unease over any other projects he’s bound to be working on would be enough to make him come back under their protection-”

“That’s not called protection,” Ichigo growls, and Senzou stops, words withering on his tongue.

There is something about the black abyss of Ichigo’s unblinking stare that makes some base instinct in even Senzou want to back away, run, throw himself at this eldritch entity’s feet and beg for mercy. He squashes the urge and smiles like monsters don’t exist.

Ichigo blinks. The darkness in his eyes recede, and the room clears again, bright with the sunshine pouring in through the open window. A shadow passes over his face, and when he opens his mouth to speak, Senzou catches a glimpse of fangs.

“Well that sucks,” The boy remarks succinctly like the silhouette on the far wall behind him doesn’t outline a grinning mouth with too many teeth. “It’s none of their business anyway. Kisuke prefers his shop. He’s his own boss there, and he likes it that way. Central 46 will just have to deal with Kurotsuchi.”

He flips open his notebook and shoves his essay over. “Now come on, we only have an hour today, and you said you’d go over this bit with me.”

Senzou nods and drops the subject. But three weeks later, he laughs when whispers tell of five Central 46 members retiring from their seats, replaced by one Shiba elder, one Shihouin, one Kuchiki, and two seated officers from the Gotei, one of which has served long enough that she doesn’t mind semi-retiring, and the other who prefers more time at a desk job over constant fieldwork. Both have roots that trace back to the slums of Rukongai. Twelve days after that, the Soutaichou announces a new official position filled by Urahara Kisuke - Human World Liaison - and a team of his choice, effective immediately.

“You don’t waste any time,” is Senzou’s greeting the next time he sees Ichigo after that debacle.

Ichigo, seated on the edge of the Academy roof and surveying the rest of Seireitei (like a ruler looking over his kingdom), waves a dismissive hand that trails solid shadows through the air. “People who’ve never been Shinigami shouldn’t be allowed to judge them. Kyouraku-san agreed.”

“I’m sure he did,” Senzou agrees, fighting near-hysterical glee down to a chuckle as he drops down to sit beside Ichigo.

He wonders if this is what it looks like, for a man to crown himself without even trying while most of the world cheers him on.

He glances to the side, arching an eyebrow when he finds Ichigo watching him. “Yes, Ichi-chan?”

There’s a disappointing lack of irritable twitching this time, but the thoughtful look Ichigo has levelled on him instead is more interesting.

“I have finals starting next week,” Ichigo says abruptly. “So I won’t be coming by the Academy until I’m done.”

Well, less interesting than he’d expected. “I’ll pick up your assignments for you,” Senzou offers, feeling generous. It’s not every day Central 46 takes a beating. He doesn’t care about Aizen, but if there was one thing he did right, it was butchering the judiciary authority on the way out. One group of them anyway.

Ichigo snorts. Rude. “Thanks, but I was thinking, you could join me down there for once instead of me coming up to meet you here. I want to concentrate on my university exams, but I have to eat and stretch my legs sometime. If you want, I could show you around campus. Kisuke can lend you a gigai so you won’t even have to request one from the Twelfth and wait for the acquisition forms to be approved.”

The first thing Senzou wants to say is I can’t. Because he can’t. Central 46 can’t make him do shit anymore, but short of slaughtering his way to the Senkaimon or disappearing into the Rukongai and living out the rest of his life as a fugitive, he can’t leave Seireitei. He doesn’t hate it here so much that he’d prefer either of those options, but the truth of the matter is, this is as much his home as it is his prison.

(A very pretty cage indeed.)

So he can’t, but Ichigo isn’t stupid, he should’ve already figured it out, or guessed, if not from the start after whatever his family told him about Senzou, then in the five months since. Stuck at the Academy because he’s too much of a wild card to go on missions.

Ichigo isn’t stupid, but neither is he cruel, not to those he has no quarrel with - that much Senzou can accept as truth. That he’s bringing this up anyway…

So, “How?” He asks instead, raising his eyebrows when Ichigo actually barks out a laugh. And then his eyes widen when Ichigo twists fingers through the air, and a Garganta springs into existence beside them.

“This can take us there,” Ichigo grins. “And no one will ever even know if you don’t want them to.”

Senzou stares from him to the murky void and back again. “…Why?”

Why are you doing this? Why would you offer?

They’ve known each other for five months, six if you count the one Senzou spent studying him. Most of that time has been spent in private tutoring sessions, and it’s benefitted Senzou as much as it has Ichigo. He technically shouldn’t be teaching Ichigo even half the Kidou Corps secrets he’s already imparted, but Ichigo makes it worth his while - quick on the uptake, a challenge in the sparring ring, and a breath of fresh air from the tedious drudgery of teaching his other students. Occasionally, they even go out for meals, tucked away in a quiet corner of a restaurant or a food stand. And sometimes, Ichigo brings souvenirs back with him from his trips to the Human world - fiction, toys, tech, trinkets the living modern age has that Soul Society does not - and he gifts them not only to his friends amongst the students but also to Senzou these days.

It’s a friendlier relationship than Senzou thought he’d ever have with anyone outside his sister, doubly so for a Shiba. Then again, Ichigo’s barely that, thank the Soul King, even if he was raised by one of the worst examples of that clan.

“Why not?” Ichigo counters, like it isn’t downright unnatural for anyone to do anything for Senzou, mostly because he’d rather stab himself in the face than fall into anybody’s debt. People avoid him when they can because he is cruel, and that’s the way Senzou likes it. He has high standards and little tolerance for things that bore him. Nothing bores him as easily as people do.

Until Ichigo.

“You don’t wanna be stuck here all the time,” Ichigo continues. “And I have an easy way out. So yeah, why not?”

Senzou turns his gaze to the horizion, past the sprawling streets and buildings of Seireitei to the sun setting beyond the wall.

He looks at the Garganta again. When Ichigo doesn’t move to stop him, he reaches over and lets his fingers drift past the mouth of the portal. The void is cool to the touch but not freezing the way he’d half-imagined.

He retrieves his hand. “A campus tour then?” He muses lightly, and Ichigo’s features brighten in response.

Senzou almost sighs. He thinks he might understand now. Ichigo is a little more like a Shiba after all. It’s just that he’s also a little more manipulative than one would expect of him. Senzou had all but told him not to interfere, to play hero for someone else, so Ichigo had backed off. But he’d figured out what Senzou wanted anyway, and his solution was to offer another way out instead.

Persistent, without disrespecting boundaries, and cunning enough to find another answer. In that regard, he’s nothing like his Shinigami relatives, who are always so loud about their intentions.

Charismatic, but… discreetly, almost insidiously so.

Senzou blinks. And then glances sharply at Ichigo again. His eyes look bronze in the light of the sunset, with the heat of his Hollow just beneath it. He has his head propped up against one loose fist, elbow balanced on one knee.

He smiles, almost guileless if not for the possessive resolve in the curve of that expression, and Senzou thinks, unbidden, ah. That’s how he won their devotion.

He gave his friends and family and allies everything they wanted, everything they needed, threw his heart and soul and body into every fight in their defense, shattered himself and rebuilt himself to protect the ones he’d taken under his wing, and so when the time came, how could any of them have done anything less for him?

It had probably not even been something Ichigo had done consciously from the beginning, it was just how he was built, through a quirk of the genetic fun park Urahara had ensured, or perhaps from the numerous near-death experiences life had forced him into. Ichigo probably hadn’t been aware, at first.

But he definitely is now.

Senzou thinks Ichigo is only just starting with him. Senzou’s already been claimed, because - for whatever reason - Ichigo wants him.

It probably says a lot that even this early on, even having already figured it out, Senzou… can’t say he cares enough to protest.

A Shiba in his bones, but leagues more dangerous by far.

4. The Human world is bigger than he remembers. Size-wise, it’s the same. But there’s a lot more in it than he thought, and he isn’t sure if that’s due to the passage of time or because he’d never spent more time than strictly necessary here when he took missions on the material plane back in the day.

Either way, he’s free to explore it now, even if just a small part of it for the time being. The campus of Ichigo’s school is large and sprawling, and with Urahara’s gigai and fake IDs and some Human money (he trades them for a box of seal traps even Tsukabishi Tessai wouldn’t know of because they’re Senzou’s own creation, and Urahara smiles like he understands and doesn’t object), it’s easy enough to come and go once Ichigo drops him off.

“You bought an apartment?” Senzou asks the first time Ichigo shows him the place and lets him poke around inside. It’s recognizably a living space, but it’s foreign to him all the same, with a generous open floor plan and wide windows, marble countertops in the kitchen and dark wooden cabinets and a bathroom constructed of polished chrome and gleaming tile.

“Kisuke bought me an apartment,” Ichigo corrects, flopping down on the couch where he has papers and books spread all over the coffee table and floor. His hair’s shorter today, barely past his shoulders, tipped black and hanging loose. Senzou is vaguely curious about what the boy’s classmates think of it.

“I wanted my own place,” Ichigo explains. “But Kisuke took one look at the rent I could afford and practically frog-marched me here instead. Then he had Yoruichi-san steal all my stuff and move it here, and then he said I might as well just take it because staying would be less work than moving all my stuff back.” He snorts, but it’s a fond sound. “The asshole. It’s not like I’d want to turn this place down. But it’s a bit much, so I try to help him with his research projects whenever I can in exchange.”

Senzou digests this with briefly raised eyebrows but says nothing. Urahara probably considers this another desperate form of making amends, and Ichigo probably knows it too. He probably wouldn’t have accepted otherwise.

“There’s a guest bedroom,” Ichigo calls after him as Senzou wanders down the hall to investigate exactly that. “Rukia’s stayed overnight, Renji too, and a few of my human friends have as well, but I always clean the place after they leave, so if you wanna stay tonight, feel free.”

That’s all the conversation between them for the rest of the day. Ichigo already showed him the campus the day before, and after tossing him a key to the apartment, Senzou is free to wander off and explore on his own.

Two weeks of regular visits to the Human world, and he still feels a little awkward in one of the shirts and jeans and sweater that that Quincy friend of Ichigo’s had shoved on him before whirlwinding back out again, apparently neck-deep in the middle of his own finals project.

“It’s Ishida, he makes clothes for everyone,” was Ichigo’s unhelpful clarification. “You help by walking around and looking good in them.”

So Senzou does, and part of him feels like he should stand out more, but nobody gives him more than a passing glance at most. Well, some do, but he recognizes shallow attraction well enough to ignore it.

In the end, he finds himself spending the most time in the libraries and lecture halls, slipping into the back of a classroom and listening to lessons he actually has to pay attention to to even understand some of what the professor is talking about. The science lectures mostly go over his head, and he’s never been interested in that field anyway so he doesn’t bother putting much effort into following them. It’s the literature courses he likes the most. There aren’t any at the Academy, not like this, and there are so many more books in so many more languages and genres than Senzou ever thought there existed in the world.

Soul Society suddenly seems so small in comparison.

It’s always an exercise in patience every time he has to return to Seireitei to teach now. After the first two weeks of almost daily trips to the Human world, he orders - on a whim - the students from his upper-year classes to split into groups before assigning each of them a project due at the end of the term on the theoretical creation of three new Kidou spells.

Group projects are not a thing at the Academy. Senzou wonders why.

He tells them that at least two of the research sources have to be from outside the Academy, and he smirks when he follows Fujiwara Asuka to the First Division compound to speak with her cousin, and then the Eighth to speak with her cousin’s former lieutenant, and then even braving the Fourth, straight-backed and stiff with anxiety but marching in anyway with her nervous group members in tow until she manages to wrangle fifteen minutes of time from a few of the healers willing to answer her questions about Kaidou.

Even here, Ichigo’s influence flourishes.

Outside the classroom, Senzou begins collecting copies of Human books. He half-bribes, half-blackmails the librarian into setting aside a section for him, and then he begins his own project of filling it.

“You’ve been busy,” Ichigo remarks when he staggers in from his last exam and collapses into a chair just as Senzou finishes setting the table for dinner.

Senzou arches an eyebrow, smirking when Ichigo just rolls his eyes.

“People tell me things,” Ichigo informs him, barely waiting for Senzou to sit down before falling onto the meal like he hasn’t eaten in a week.

“You would make a poor king if people didn’t,” Senzou murmurs, smiling serenely when Ichigo’s eyes flick up to meet his. It’s not as intimidating when his cheeks are bulging like a chipmunk’s.

Actually, Ichigo in the Human world just seems less… overwhelming in general. It isn’t as if he’s any less powerful. This particular gigai doesn’t restrict him in any way. But there’s a relaxed quality in him here that Senzou’s observed in the past three weeks that’s always absent when he’s the rawest form of himself up in Seireitei.

“Soul Society needs to change,” Ichigo says at last, instead of denying anything. “If that means kicking it in the ass until it stops fucking up the lives it’s supposed to be looking after, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.”

Yes, and Senzou has no doubt he’ll succeed. The majority of those in power have no desire to stop Ichigo. Those who do aren’t strong enough. And Ichigo wants it. He wants it with a conviction Senzou has never seen in anyone, almost obsessive in its unfaltering desire… like the abyssal hunger of a Hollow and the eternal grudge of a Quincy and the timeless pride of a Shinigami all rolled into one.

Ichigo wants it, and he’ll get what he wants.

The Soul King knows the universe owes him that much, and even if it didn’t, Senzou doubts it would make a single bit of difference to their God-Slayer.

He lifts his mug in a toast. “Then I look forward to your endeavours. You’ll need to watch out for Central 46′s spies though. I’m sure they won’t take this lying down.”

Ichigo cocks an eyebrow. “Is that an offer to keep your ear to the ground for me?”

Senzou attempts an innocent face, which works about as well as he expects when Ichigo snorts. “A mere Academy teacher like me probably can’t help much, but…” He thinks of the seals he’d planted throughout the entire Central 46 compound every time he’d had to report in, slowly but surely sneaking invisible ears into the heart of Soul Society’s government. “I might hear things now and then. I’ll pass it on if it happens to be interesting.”

Ichigo grins and tips his own mug at Senzou like they aren’t talking treason.

5. “So.”

Senzou almost rolls his eyes. The Shibas’ commitment to their theatrics clearly hasn’t changed.

“Kuukaku-chan,” He says instead as he strides into his office and smothers the urge to draw his blade on the woman sitting on his desk like she’s posing for Most Dramatic. He smiles instead, hiding the teeth of it behind his lips. “What a pleasure.”

Kuukaku grins back without any of the same courtesy. Of course. “None at all, I’m sure, so I’ll get straight to the point. What are you doing with Ichigo?”

Senzou does roll his eyes this time. “You’ll have to be more specific. As of yesterday, he’s teaching me how to drive a car.” His lip curls. “It’s a mode of transportation Humans have developed.”

“I know what a car is,” Kuukaku snaps, finally hopping down from the desk to prowl across the room. “Why is he teaching you? What do you want with him?”

Senzou pauses halfway through setting down a stack of essays to be marked. “…If I said vengeance on the Shiba Clan once I’ve convinced him to side with me, would that be about what you were expecting?”

Kuukaku glares and crosses her arms. “Ichigo would never.”

Senzou smirks. “Then you have nothing to worry about, do you? You’ve wasted a trip.”

He brushes past her to flip through the paperwork on his desk. End-of-term reports are coming up, and that’s always a waste of his time, so the sooner he gets them done the better.

“I know you resent us for what happened to Miyako,” Kuukaku says from behind him, and Senzou wonders if he can just walk out. Probably, but there’s no way this woman won’t cause a scene. “But Ichigo wasn’t part of any of that.”

Senzou heaves a sigh and turns back around. “Kuukaku-chan, I thought we just established that we both know that using Ichigo against your family won’t work.”

“No,” Kuukaku nods. “But you could hurt him to get back at us.”

They eye each other for a long moment, not quite hostile but far from amicable.

“…My vengeance for Miyako was not lifting a finger when your clan was all but massacred,” Senzou finally says, ignoring the way Kuukaku’s expression pinches. “And so long as contact with you and yours is kept at an absolute minimum in the future, I don’t care anymore. Besides, there is no point in targeting Ichigo to get to you.” He sneers. “He’s a Shiba, but it would be an insult to consider him one of you.”

Kuukaku bristles but doesn’t explode in anger the way some of her even more hot-tempered relatives would. She stares at him instead, and when she doesn’t speak right away, Senzou goes back to organizing the contents of his desk.

“Say I believe that,” Kuukaku finally says, ignoring Senzou’s scoff. “Maybe you are hanging out with Ichigo with no ulterior motives. The gods know he makes that easy. But if that’s what you’re doing, there’s no way you won’t be seeing more of the rest of us eventually. He wasn’t raised the way a Shiba should’ve been, with none of our traditions and only a fraction of the family he should’ve had. That’s on us. But he’s still family, and so long as he doesn’t say no, we’re going to be a part of his life. You’re going to have to accept that if you plan on marrying in.”

The shelf closes with a resounding thud under his hand, and judging by the give, he’s probably cracked the back of it too. He barely notices as his gaze snaps back up to stare incredulously at his uninvited visitor. “I beg your pardon?”

Kuukaku smiles thinly, and this time she looks more amused than anything else. “Something to consider. But you’re more like Miyako than most people would think.” Her arms drop to her sides as she turns abruptly towards the window. “That’s all I had to say. You’re a smart man, Senzou. I don’t need to tell you what will happen if you fuck up.”

And before Senzou can demand an explanation or - more likely - set her on fire for cracking such an abysmal joke, she’s gone, disappearing through the window in a rush of Shunpo.

Senzou stares after her, then at the books he’d carried in earlier, then at the paperwork he’s putting off for the weekend because he has dinner with Ichigo tonight… just as he does almost every night nowadays.

He runs a hand over his face.

Shibas.

6. He says nothing. He’s self-aware enough to know (now, damn Kuukaku) that there’s something there, a spark, a connection, a pull Senzou has never felt towards anyone. He isn’t going to call it love or whatever Kuukaku thinks is happening because it isn’t. He finds Ichigo fascinating and endlessly entertaining, and anyone willing to face down Central 46 is worthy of some admiration in Senzou’s opinion. That Ichigo plans on turning the whole system upside-down and actually has the power to achieve it only raises Senzou’s esteem for him.

But he says nothing because Ichigo knows all this already. The day Senzou’s first instinct, when an assassin sent by Central 46 attempts to take Ichigo’s head, is to slit the hapless woman’s throat - even though he knows full well that she wouldn’t have come anywhere near to succeeding - is the moment Ichigo gets irrefutable proof that Koyonagi Senzou is willing to kill for him.

Ichigo doesn’t gloat of course, he isn’t the type. Senzou half-expects it anyway, breath caught in his lungs for a moment with something disgracefully close to fear twisting in his gut as he turns to check Ichigo’s reaction.

But Ichigo only wrinkles his nose and toes the fresh corpse at his feet, and then he glances at the blood splatter dotting Senzou’s shirt and offers to get him a new one.

He also reaches out to touch the hilt of Senzou’s Zanpakutou before nodding once, deliberately, solemnly, the weight of it as much a thanks as it is an acknowledgement.

And that was that. Senzou relaxes, doesn’t bat an eye when shadows surge up and swallow the body whole, and goes to change into another shirt. The incident passes, and it will be longer still before Ichigo’s enemies realize they probably should’ve tried harder to get rid of Senzou years ago. They’d thought themselves safe enough though: they would never earn Senzou’s allegiance, but at the same time, nobody - including Senzou - ever thought anybody else would earn it either.

But the point is, Ichigo knows. Senzou has no need to speak of it, and both of them are content with that. If something more comes of it down the road, Senzou doesn’t think he’d fight it. He lost this battle a good while ago, and he never even cared.

In the meantime though, he spies on Central 46 and enjoys what time he can spare in the Human world and continues reconstructing Seireitei’s education system brick by stubborn brick. There’s a kingdom to conquer and a god Senzou has pledged himself to, and for now, that is enough.

[josefavomjaaga]

Helfert, Joachim Murat, Chapter 5, Part 3

Siege of Gaeta. More non-Murat stuff.

Finally, after twenty-eight days of arduous work and exposure to the greatest dangers, three batteries were completed, 32 guns mounted; in addition, 51 were mounted on the gunboats, which resulted in a total of 83 rounds of fire. On July 17, 4 o'clock in the morning, one mortar battery on the land side gave the signal, and the general shelling began; after more than an hour, the fortress opened fire from 125 guns, and in such an effective manner that Lauer had to stop his own at 9 o'clock in the morning in order to have the damage quickly repaired. On July 18, at 2 o'clock after midnight, the shelling on land and at sea was resumed. The crosshatching of the fireballs through the night sky and their reflection in the sea had an indescribable effect on the eye, but unfortunately not on the fortress, which once again retaliated powerfully and amply. The besiegers did succeed in blowing up one of the enemy's powder magazines, which produced a shock that made the whole of the cape tremble; but soon afterwards a powder magazine of the Imperial troops was also blown up, and again at 9 o'clock in the morning the fire from their side ceased, while the defenders continued theirs until the evening. The third bombardment, which began on the night of the 19th, ended early in the morning because the besiegers were in danger of running out of powder and projectiles.

On July 21., Louis XVIII's re-entry into Paris became known in the allies' camp, and again they did not fail to inform the commander of the fortress, who, however, because his request to send an officer had again been refused, declared flatly that he considered all news coming to him by other means to be mere trickery to elicit the surrender of the fortress; Indeed, he insulted FML Lauer in the grossest terms when he would not even accept his "word of honour" that there was no deception involved. The activity of his guns became almost greater than before, while the besiegers, who had to take up their battery work anew, merely held their ground defensively. But in his heart Begani knew very well that it was high time to put an end to the cruel game. There was no longer any doubt about the complete collapse of the second French empire; the fortress still had an abundance of supplies, but the garrison's position was becoming more difficult with each passing day; the inhabitants remaining in Gaëta were loudly demanding an end to their hardships. Lauer and the naval commanders were already making preparations to open a new, stronger bombardment on August 5, when Begani declared his compliance, whereupon, after repeated negotiations on the conditions of the surrender, the white flag was hoisted in the fortress on the 8th and the agreement reached was signed and sealed that same evening.

On August 12, Baron Lauer solemnly entered Gaëta at the head of his troops. Soon afterwards, Lord Ermouth and the British fleet left the Gulf of Naples, from where, as from Sicilian waters, one transport after another arrived in the port of Genoa with troops and war supplies of all kinds on board, and now the whole territory on this side and the other of the Faro was in the undisputed sole possession of the Bourbons.

Ferdinand's ministry consisted of the people as follows: Circello Exterior, Medici Finance and ad interim Police, Saint-Clair War and Navy, Tommasi Justice and Grace.

The greatest influence, though not a very salutary one, was exercised by Circello, or rather, as the malignant world said, by his wife, who meddled in all her husband's business. So zealously did she wish him to play the first part that he sometimes interfered with the most expedient measures of his colleagues in office, merely to make them feel his power, his greater prestige with the king. He soon had everything against him, not only the other ministers, but also other outstanding personalities who saw themselves overshadowed by him, Ruffo, Campochiaro, Gallo, Ascoli. But nothing could be done against him because the king supported him, not so much out of inclination, for he too became annoyed with time, but out of old habit, out of respect for his many years of service and perhaps also with the ulterior motive that with Circello's advanced years it could not last long anyway. Circello's influence was also disadvantageous in that he was too attached to the old, to what had existed before, while Medici was more inclined towards new ideas.

Most of the great European powers had already sent their envoys to the legitimate throne of Naples: Russia Count Mocenigo, England A'Court, France Count Narbonne. On July 12, Prince Ludwig Jablonovski, as the Austrian envoy, had his solemn audience with the King, from whom Mier took leave at the same time. The Prince soon assumed a position at Ferdinand's court similar to that of his predecessor at that of Joachim. Just as Caroline Murat had taken Count Mier into her confidence in her affairs, so now the Princess of Partanna did with Jablonovski. In accordance with the promise she had made before her marriage, she was not allowed to interfere in affairs of state and therefore, when she had something on her mind, she hid behind the Austrian envoy, whom she knew to be highly esteemed by her husband. This was already the case now that the princess was looking to Jablonovski for protection against the sinister influences of which she accused the Marchese Circello.

There were enough occasions when the Austrian envoy and the imperial generals, who after the preceding events and with the continuing imperial occupation played the first role at the Court of Naples, were drawn into the interest of one side or the other, although their influence did not always have the desired success. This was immediately apparent in the reorganisation of the Neapolitan army, for which a Supreme War College was set up under the chairmanship of Prince Leopold; its vice-president was Saint-Clair; of its four members, two were from Sicily, two were Muratists, namely d'Ambrosio and Filangieri. The peacetime number of the army was to be raised to 60,000 men, far beyond the needs of the state and its financial resources, "solely out of fear," as Jablonovski wrote to Vienna, "of hurting some generals who want to make themselves important and accommodate their protégés"; a measure that was very badly received by the public and harmed the government in more than one way.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 245: The Second One

Previously on BnHA: We kicked off day one of New Internships with a fun-filled morning of shenanigans. Highlights included: (1) an old bearded man gallivanting around town telling everyone the world is going to end (and making a surprising amount of sense); (2) Bakugou and Deku attempting to rough up a group of impassioned hobos, only to have their thunder stolen from right underneath their noses; and (3) Hawks, the thunder-stealer himself, who proceeded to be all “what’s up fellas, hey Endeavor did you miss me?” Endeavor, who totally did miss him, pretended like he had not, and meanwhile Hawks introduced himself to Endeavor’s new trainees: Finger-Smashing Kid, Kid Who Used To Work For The Guy You Just Murdered, and Shouto (Just Shouto). Then he pulled out a copy of Re-Destro’s book and was all, “hey Endeavor have you heard of this book which was really important to the plot in the previous arc? I think you should read it, for reasons!!” and Endeavor just kind of stared at him, which wasn’t exactly inspiring. Anyways let’s see if these two idiots can manage to pull this off.

Today on BnHA: Hawks shoves the Liberation Army’s book into Endeavor’s hands while staring at him with the intensity of a thousand suns, and then, to avoid suspicion, proceeds to hand out another 500,000 copies of the book without even being asked. He then flies back to the PLF headquarters and is all “good news gentlemen, I gave out copies of the Army’s book to everyone in Japan!” and they’re all “that’s great, Hawks!” because somehow it turns out that this was actually a good plan. Back at the Endeavor Agency HQ, the kids meet Endeavor’s 30+ other sidekicks, who are all “now let’s all stand around and wait for Endeavor to tell us what to do.” Over in his office, Endeavor shrewdly deduces that Hawks was trying to tell him something, and pieces together the hidden code Hawks left in his book, which basically reads “IN FOUR MONTHS WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.” Back at the PLF, the League cheerfully discusses their plot to blow up the entire world come Springtime. Which apparently everyone is on board with. So, uh, does anyone else feel like they accidentally fell asleep during a really important part of the movie, because uh. What.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

okay so two things: (1) as I mentioned in a previous post, Caleb Cook reported that this chapter took him more than 4 times longer than usual to translate. so like, what does that mean?? guess we’re about to find out!

and (2) HAWKS’S REAL NAME. I started typing up this recap early just so I could liveblog my reaction, since it seems that the databook has leaked, and I figure I’m going to stumble across this sooner rather than later. so I’m just going to look it up now here goes!!

AHHHH TAKAMI KEIGO AHHHH

lol. I have no idea what that actually means. let me look up some more stuff about this

oooh thank you reddit!

ooh damn, I love it!? “hawk” + “vision” lolol HORIKOSHI BACK AT IT AGAIN. but “watchman” is a really nice bonus what with how it relates both to the whole spying biz, and in a more general sense toward what he is trying to do as a hero trying to protect society. plus the name “Keigo” just has a really nice sound to it in general. kind of a boyish, youthful sound. not too hard or soft. idk. I like it. that was my favorite character in Bleach too

also apparently both of the kanji used for “Keigo” mean “enlightenment” oooh. my god I could analyze this all day. this being Thursday night, I’ll have some time to ruminate before I read the chapter tomorrow, so if I have any epiphanies I will add them in later!

(ETA: no additional thoughts on this right now, but there is now a ton of other content out from Ultra Analysis, so let’s take a quick look at some of that!

Haagen Dazs’s gender:  I now feel vindicated in continuing to refer to him as a “he” even after the face reveal! let this be a lesson to everyone never to judge a shounen character solely by how pretty they are. not that it wouldn’t have been nice to have another female villain! anyways the important thing is that I still don’t have his name memorized and never will!

Thirteen’s gender?!: now this, I don’t really like. Thirteen was already in the previous databook IIRC and their gender was ambiguous. which to be frank was awesome. having a canon nonbinary character was sick. why you gotta do this now Horikoshi smdh.

Reason for Shouji’s mask: nooooo poor Shouji. people in quirk society are jerks! lol I get the arms being scary, but his face?? now I really want to see what he looks like though. it would be cool if he became more accepting of himself as a result of hanging with his chill classmates and decided to ditch the mask. anyways my boy needs a hug.

and there’s a lot of other stuff, including a whole series of cute segments showing the characters’ relationships with each other, but I think I’ll save those for another post because otherwise this would get way too off-track. but man, so far I’m really loving this.)

okay kiddos. it is now Friday, and time to take our horse to the hype town road. I have been waiting all fucking week for this shit so it had better not disappoint!

“Rising to Action” ooh, nice. guess this is not much of a “sit still” gang, here

okay so we’re picking off right where we left off, and guys, I just need to know, does anyone other than me find this kind of hilarious

like, I don’t know why but just. Endeavor’s face. omg. he just looks like he’s trying so hard to figure out what’s wrong. I think what it is is that this is the exact same bemused/perplexed expression that Shouto gets on his face all the freaking time, and it just tickles me to no end that the apple apparently doesn’t fall far from the tree. ahh Shouto I know you don’t want to hear this but damn boy you look like your dad

anyways. I think we can all agree Endeavor should not be looking this adorable and what the hell. let’s move on

LOOOOOOL

why is this so funny ahhhhhhh. they’re so fucking serious please stop. I mean, but of course they’re serious, though. the weird one is me, right? whatever!

so now here’s the handoff. between these two super-serious dudes

Endeavor you had better not do like me and be all “of course I’ll read it!” fully intending to follow through (really!) but then you never do and everyone is super disappointed and you start to read something else instead, all the while feeling incredible guilt! my point is, Endeavor, I hope you don’t have ADHD or we’re all fucking screwed omg

lol though thankfully we have a backup!

“oh boy!” clamors Deku, a gleam of excitement in his eye. “homework!”

OH MY GOD

WHO ARE YOU, OPRAH

ff now he’s just SLAPPING THEM INTO THEIR HANDS omg. this is amazing

love how Katsuki is keeping an extra 1.5 meters of space in between him and the others because cooties. or something

anyways! I really want them all to read it actually so this is awesome! KACCHAN YOU ESPECIALLY. I want you to read it and then give it a disgusted 1 star review on goodreads. show me how much you’ve grown kiddo

lmaooo

Todoroki Shouto. god’s perfect idiot. bless this child. someone explained Occam’s razor to him one day, and he just sat there nodding like “yes that makes perfect sense” and proceeded to apply it to every fucking thing in his life from there on out. “what’s Hawks doing carrying around 10,000 copies of The Book of PLF and just handing them out to strangers like an old lady on Halloween? processing... processing... oh I see, he probably just REALLY LIKES THE BOOK how keen”

this is what Hawks is up against. this squad of certified morons with two whole brain cells shared among them on a good day. boy literally brought three backup secret messages just in case Endeavor was too dense to figure this out, only to watch these kids exclaim, with perfect sincerity, “GOSH, HAWKS MUST REALLY LIKE THIS BOOK, HUH”

and meanwhile the best Endeavor can do is “............something.......... feels.... off.......” fml. we’re all gonna die. Hawks, I’m sorry. you tried!! next time give Momo your secret message instead!

so now he says that he’s actually recommending this book to all of his acquaintances omg. don’t tell me this handsome canary is actually going around handing out books to every single person he knows?? all to cover up this one action of giving Endeavor the book with the secret message highlighted in it?? okay guys help me decide: is this brilliance or stupidity? like, what is even going on inside Hawks’s head. “I’ll just fly around handing out copies of Atlas Fucking Shrugged to everyone I meet. that’ll seem really natural”

I s2g Endeavor if you don’t follow up on this...! THE WORLD IS COUNTING ON YOU YOU BIG MEATHEAD. GET TO READIN’. MAKE LEVAR PROUD

and now Hawks is flying away with his hands in his pockets

godspeed you dramatically casual bastard

now Deku is all “you know, he’s not much older than us, but he really seems like he’s got his shit together!” which, yeah. don’t you hate that? the truth is though it’s all an act, and he’s actually just as screwed up as the rest of you! the moral is: never trust any 22-year-old who seems like they’ve got their shit together. because, no. he sits on a throne of lies

Endeavor are you actually being thoughtful??!

oh my god. we may actually have a chance here. praise be

now we are cutting to the Endeavor agency! guys, fucking look at this fucking ‘E’, though

ngl that shit is dope. I’m mad. I would buy his merch just for the logo and I hate that about myself

holy shit

the... flaming hot... oh my god

holy shit there’s so many of them

(ETA: hold up -- “Bakugou” and “Shouto”? this is a crucial detail here; they’re using Bakugou’s last name, but Shouto’s given name. so either they’re calling him Shouto because they know his pop, or -- more likely -- they’re calling him “Shouto” because that’s his hero name. in which case, “Bakugou” most likely also refers to “Bakugou” as in the hero name, not his actual name. meaning that still is his hero name. meaning he is still undecided. fucking... Katsuki. honey. why.

ffff and the new databook seems to support this too. instead of a hero name, Horikoshi just wrote “XXX” indicating he still hasn’t made up his mind. welp. looks like it’s back on that slow burn character development train, folks. maybe by the end of this arc, though? please? Horikoshi? Horikoshi damn it look at me.)

so this is how the number one operates, huh. meanwhile All Might only ever had one sidekick, and reluctantly at that. he really was so far out ahead of everyone else that he was basically untouchable. crazy

anyways, yes! they don’t know anything about anything so please teach them!

good grief this girl says Endeavor has over thirty sidekicks?? lmao and her name is “Burnin’.” please tell me the missing g is an actual part of her name please I need this

wow, Burnin’ really went and tried to pick a fight with my famously hot-tempered son knowing full well what his personality is like. and just look at him keeping his cool and firing back though

oh, Katsuki. [hair ruffle] he will thrive here

damn these guys are passionate

Endeavor seriously picked these people as his sidekicks? that Endeavor? they didn’t annoy the shit out of him?? that man is an enigma

btw can we all just stop here for a moment and give a shoutout to this horse-looking dude because. look at him. amazing. new fave

anyway so now the mummy-looking guy is explaining how they organize their shift schedule

so professional. this really is the big leagues

yoooooo my boy is FIRED UP. READY TO SAVE SOME BITCHES! YESSSSS WIN AND RESCUE LET’S DO THIS

LET’S FUCKING GOOOO omg I love him so much. Kacchan you need to cool it or I’m going to spend this whole fucking chapter ruffling your hair

(ETA: incidentally, here’s something I neglected to point out earlier: in spite of being a belligerent asshole in general, Katsuki for the most part is actually surprisingly respectful to most adults, especially heroes. so it’s interesting then that so far, this doesn’t seem to apply to Hawks. he almost seems to consider him another rival rather than another mentor/teacher-type figure to learn from. I wonder if this is because -- as Deku pointed out earlier this chapter -- Hawks is much closer to them in age than the other heroes. it’s interesting that that was pointed out -- and that in the very next panel Katsuki was grumbling about how Hawks pisses him off, at that.

anyway. this BakuHawks rivalry seems to be an established thing now, so I’m very curious to see how this develops.)

lol now Mummy Guy is all “that’s great! now we just need to wait for Endeavor to tell us what to do!” and Kacchan is like “WHAT”

I mean, he’s got a point lol. “we’re so busy!” “great let’s get to work!” “actually we don’t have any work yet!” like, what a fucking tease. don’t worry Kacchan, they’re just waiting to make sure they assign you boys a job that’s plot-related so we don’t waste any time

ahhh, and now we finally come to the moment we’ve all been waiting for! the part that apparently took four hours to translate! ENDEAVOR READING A BOOK

yeah he was acting like he had a freaking gun to his head. why don’t heroes have secret code phrases they can use to let each other know some weird fucking shit is up? or maybe they do, but since he’s being recorded and since PLF has some heroes on roster who probably know those same codes (looking at you, Slidin’), Hawks didn’t want to risk one of them figuring it out. that makes sense

ahhh, here we go

don’t tell me Caleb tried to translate this whole thing. though I gotta admit I am hella curious

anyway. so the rest of this page is Endeavor metaing about Hawks, and it’s some good stuff, ngl

he really is fond of him, huh. look at all those pictures. how many mental snapshots did you take of this kid smiling?? he’s so adopted it hurts

and look at the concern in that last panel! “why is he acting so weird, that’s not like him, I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” damn, Hawks really did put his trust in the exact right person and it’s paying off

ENDEAVOR STOP MAKING THESE SOFT WORRIED FACES ABOUT HAWKS RIGHT THIS INSTANT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THESE FEELS

god damn!! I don’t know why, but I continue to be surprised and impressed at how the character development of Endeavor is actually a subscribe and save deal and not just a one-time purchase. fucking look at Todoroki Enji, proud annual recipient of a different “world’s worst dad” mug every Father’s Day, actually caring enough about another human being to notice the subtle changes in his behavior and realize something is wrong. bruh. good for you!! human compassion is a damn good look for you, negl. fucking growth right here and I’m here for it

anyways, on to the hidden code!

and here are all of the highlighted portions for your code-breaking pleasure

fucking feel like I’m reading Detective Conan right now. yeesh

oooh!

BINGPOT LOOOOOL WHY DID I GET SO EXCITED OKAY LET ME GO BACK AND READ!

“the” “enemy” “liberation” “army” ahhhhhh! HAWKS YOU SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH. GOOD JOB ENDEAVOR!

and now we’re cutting back to Hawks, nooooo I wanted to see Endeavor’s reaction! come on!

lmao although it’s worth it to see Hawks mentally roasting Endeavor exactly like I was mere pages ago omg

his fucking face omg. that’s right Hawks, he’s not the brightest crayon in the box. not the sharpest tack in the bulletin board. he’s a few fries short of a happy meal. the elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor

but give him some credit, though! because he did figure it out! not necessarily because he was clever, but because he knows you!

oh shit lol

OH SO YOU PLANNED THAT PART TOO. WELL OKAY THEN

goddamn. he really is a clever bastard. and okay but in all seriousness, I fucking love that he has enough faith in this weird connection between them that out of all the ploys he could have gone with, this is what he chose. he seriously put all his eggs in the “Endeavor will figure it out from my face” basket. and it fucking paid off. this is awesome

AHHHHHHHHHHHH HERE WE GO

LOOK AT HIS EYE OH MY GOD. YOU CAN SEE THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN HE REALIZES HOW SCREWED THEY ALL ARE, YES, FUCK, THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR OH GOD

and we’re cutting back to Hawks again! I’ll just assume the rest of his message went something like “we” “are” “boned” and Endeavor’s face was like :o

BACK AT THE OL’ VILLAIN HOTEL!!!

LOL WHAT IS THIS

THEY HAVE A FUCKING COUNCIL NOW

whose seat is that over on the left? Hawks’s? is Gigantomachia actually wearing a shirt?? AND SHOW US TOMURA’S FACE HORIKOSHI YOU COWARD

lmao oh my god are they really buying this shit

look at him. so trustworthy. nothing to suspect over here! just a 100% sincere born-again villain committed to the cause!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOOOOOO MY BABIES ARE EXPOSED. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER PROTECT THEM I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

wow is the whole conversation just shifting over to the topic of Deku now, seriously?

oh my god oh my god oh my god. like. it’s been so long since the forest lodge and Kamino that I almost forgot that the League already knows these kids. they did fight Deku and Shouto briefly in the woods, and then they had an extended fight against Katsuki later on, although Dabi was unconscious for that part. anyways, shit. just like that they’re on their radar again I’m getting chills omgggg

(ETA: at least they’re underestimating them, though. “looks like he hasn’t gotten much stronger.” boy have you not heard about his bloop? that bloop will fuck you up just you wait!)

so now have some weird panels of Hawks walking through a door

(ETA: ohhhh you can see the door closing on the tip of his wing close-up! sneaky!)

ooh! wtf are you serious he can use his feathers to eavesdrop?!

(ETA: it only just clicked on my second read-through that Spinner of all people appears to be the mastermind behind this plan? like, am I reading this right? is he Tomura’s second-in-command now or what? damn, boy, good for you.)

okay, question. if he could do this the entire time, why did they even need him to pretend to join the League at all? I guess you never know when having a man on the inside who can possibly influence their decision-making will come in handy. but still, it seems to me like he could have easily done the spying bit without ever having to join up. ehhh but I guess there’s probably a range limit, and too much risk of the feathers getting caught and destroyed... eh, fine. I’ll allow it

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT EXCUSE ME WHAT?????

AND OF COURSE THAT’S THE END OF THE CHAPTER, LOL, FUCK. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO STAND IN A CORNER AND SCREAM

lol “danger lurks” fucking you think?? what the hell! so they have an actual plan already, with the details outlined to the extent that they actually have a freaking timetable and everything? and the Liberation Army is on board with this whole thing too? the “destroying everything” part and all? this is too much to process all at once fuck me I can’t

okay! so four months from now is also when the kids will enter their second year! so that means Shinsou can get in on this action too. I’m trying to think of other significant plot things this could potentially imply, but none are coming to mind right now, other than it’ll be the anniversary of USJ. but that’s basically it. -- oh, wait, this also means that there’ll be a new first-year class of students at U.A. too! so that could be interesting. some potential new characters, and a chance for Deku and the others to be senpais. incidentally, to the best of my knowledge the kids will all stay in the same class and Aizawa will continue to be their homeroom teacher in year two. so nothing will change really aside from them becoming 2-A rather than 1-A. and Shinsou joining them, as mentioned. omg

anyway! let me see, any other stray thoughts before I wrap this up? I guess it’s worth noting that Toga’s eye is fine. the League has healed up pretty nicely in general actually. like, that’s seriously impressive for a group that doesn’t have Recovery Girl on staff. how long has it even been since Deika? a few weeks? this is almost ridiculous

and the “boom” -- is that literal? like they’re actually planning to blow everything up? or is that a metaphorical boom. fucking what kind of plan did they come up with where they actually think they can destroy THE ENTIRETY OF JAPAN all at once? is there a doomsday device?? what exactly is this “power” they’re talking about? HAWKS WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR STUPID MESSAGE YOU BOOB

hahaha. anyways. it came down to the last two pages, but that certainly was a reveal worthy of all the hype. to sum: yikes

[icedteaandoldlace]

Y'ALL. Wild work story time!

So early in the evening, I get a call from this woman who has already ordered, but wants to add something to her order. Her original order was 18 wings and two salads, and her total was under $2.00 because she had store credit. So she adds 6 more wings and another salad and that's it, and she double checked with me to make sure it was all on the same ticket, because her husband was gonna be picking it up, and she didn't want him thinking he got everything and leaving something behind, which is a thing that happens sometimes. So anyways, it's a very run-of-the-mill conversation, I update the order, we hang up, and I go about my business. Very shortly afterwards, her husband comes in to pick up the order. I give him his total, which is now $13-something, and he makes this face, and it's not the confused kind of face people normally make when someone adds something to their order without notifying them of the change, but more like he ate something sour or smells something bad, and he says, "No..." and just kinda leaves it at that for a second (waiting for me to magically go "Whoops! Wrong number!" I suppose), but when I do my standard reply instead (confirming the name and the contents of the order), this guy, instead of being like, "Yeah, that's the right order" and letting me explain what happened, he just says, "My total was two dollars."

Which is confirmation enough for me that it's the right order, so I try again: "The wings and the salads, for Rose? Your wife called just a minute ago and added more to the order." And right in the middle of my sentence, he asks to speak to a manager. And since I'm not 100% certain I heard him correctly (because I WAS TALKING when he said it), I'm like, "What? Did you say you want to see a manager?" No reply. Awkward pause. I ask again. Same thing. And this is not the first time he's started to talk while I was talking, either, nor was it the last. This conversation has a lot of awkward starts and stops, like the verbal equivalent of riding with someone learning how to drive a stick shift, and every single time I ask him to either repeat what he said or just confirm that I heard him right, it's like talking to a brick wall. And at no point at all does he act like he's having trouble hearing me, or like he doesn't understand what's going on, but he doesn't acknowledge a single thing I say, so while I am getting very flustered because I'm having trouble discerning what he wants or what I need to explain, and because nothing I say is having any kind of effect on him whatsoever, he is just weirdly interacting with me yet also acting as if I don't exist at the same time. He did ask me to repeat the total once because he had forgotten what it was, but again didn't react when I repeated it, just another weird pause, even though he can hear me talking and see my lips moving. At one point he brought up his wife's credit, as though still convinced I had the wrong order or something had just been entered incorrectly, and he asked how much the individual items cost. So I printed out his ticket, read the individual prices and the original subtotal ($38-something) AND the amount of the credit, AND the final total, and concluded that it was correct, even making sure to add that "...so with the third salad and the other wings that she just added, that puts the total at [whatever it was]," JUST IN CASE he somehow missed that detail the first time. And yet again, there is no acknowledgement toward me or anything I'm saying, and he didn't even glance at the ticket when I printed it out, not even in an, "Oh, movement out of the corner of my eye, what is this?" kind of way. Just...nothing. And this all happens in a very short frame of time--like, probably just a little over a minute, possibly even less--but apparently his majesty thinks I was taking too long to get the issue sorted out (even though I had explained it repeatedly and in detail), so he goes, "Well, I'm tired of waiting," and says it in this conceding manner, as if he Knows he's being overcharged and it's some strange mystery as to WHY, but he's going to let it slide and just pay the full total I gave him because he's Such A Swell Guy Giving The Mixed-Up Cashier A Break. And so as he starts to open his wallet, since it's the first time I've had the opportune moment to bring it up, I say, "And some of the wings are still cooking, so it'll be a few minutes before they're ready," because letting someone know their food isn't ready yet is crucial information when they're there to pick it up. It should have already been obvious that it wasn't ready given that I'd already told him his wife JUST CALLED to add more to the order, yet he just makes one of those "this might as well happen" faces, the kind that's like so annoyed it's almost amused, and this is something I see quite a bit whenever someone just has one thing after the next going wrong with their order (usually something that can't be helped, like we ran out of several things they wanted to order), and sometimes the person making that face does actually get annoyed with me or with the restaurant over it, but a good bit of the time they just have a little personal #FML moment at the universe in general, and then they gather their composure and they're like, "okay, yeah, that's fine" and let me know they don't blame me. But with this guy, I couldn't tell which it was gonna be. So anyway, he puts his wallet away and goes to the bench to wait. It's not out of the ordinary for someone to want to wait until their food is ready before they pay, especially if they have reason to suspect something might go wrong with it, and it's usually a very chill situation and they're not dicks about it or anything, and I figure this is just one of those situations, so I just make a mental note to remember he hasn't paid yet in case I need to remind him. So I move on to the next customer, and after I've taken care of them right quick, I go to make the guy's third salad, and ended up having to make all three of them, because no one had made the original two. Since there are no interruptions, this takes only a couple of minutes. Then once I have all three of his salads finished and put in the fridge, there's another customer who needs a salad made, so I start on that one. Right in the middle of working on the other person's salad, this guy shows up at my side and says, "What the fuck is the holdup?!" As if he had been waiting for thirty minutes as opposed to like, five, give or take. Like, I wasn't even sure his wings had had time to finish cooking yet, since 15 minutes is our standard wait time. But the man is enraged and acting like he's being treated horribly, and he's steady ranting and cussing for the whole world to hear (he had the nerve to make some sort of complaint about bad manners?), and I just say calmly, deliberately not acknowledging his bad attitude, "I'll check on your wings for you." So I check on his wings, leaving the salad half-made, and sure enough, his wings are now ready, and they can't have been sitting for more than a few seconds, given how little time has elapsed. So I bag them up, functioning on autopilot, because he's reached the level of angry that I don't engage with, because when someone's that angry, your only options are A) try to reason with them, which is guaranteed to fail, B) get snippy, thus escalating the situation and getting fired, or C) letting your body register how overwhelmed you suddenly feel and bursting into tears. None of those are good ideas, so I just act as though he's any normal customer who's not making a scene, and bring him his stuff, making sure to check the screen as I go to hand it to him to see if someone else has cashed him out yet. I can see that he still hasn't paid, but as soon as everything on his order is present, he snatches it up, whirls around, and swiftly storms out. Before he can get away, I call loudly, knowing good and well that he can hear me, "You haven't paid yet," not bothering to sugarcoat it with my customer service voice. He deliberately ignores me. I make no further effort to stop him, because while I have reminded irate customers that they still had to pay for their orders, and I have gone after people who simply forgot to pay before, there's no way in hell I'm about to chase down someone who flat out refused to pay for their food, because anyone that brazen and unpredictable is not someone I'm going to force a confrontation with. And since the whole thing was so surreal, I didn't actually register what happened enough to do anything else about it, so I just went back to making the other person's salad. But the other server on duty fortunately had the presence of mind to tell the shift manager what happened, then he asked me about it, I filled in the blanks for him, and then he made a call, either to someone higher up or to the police. And he tried to call the customer, too, because duh, we have his phone number from the order. Dummy didn't think that through when he made his grand exodus.

It was insane. All the other customers in the building were side-eyeing the guy and giving their own commentary on the situation. One guy who had dined in said as he was paying for his meal that he had been able to see the guy pull out from his table, and that he'd been in such a hurry that he almost hit another car pulling in on his way out. And I know someone called the police at some point, because they showed up shortly after this all went down, but once they did, the manager had finally gotten a hold of the man's wife, and she agreed to pay for their food over the phone, so there were no charges pressed in the end. The wife has been quoted as saying, "My husband can get a bit impatient," much to the incredulity of the entire staff. Then once everything was taken care of, the police decided to have dinner there, in part to keep an eye out in case the guy came back to cause more trouble, which he fortunately did not.

And all this before the sun had even gone down.

[grimelords]

My May playlist is finished and it’s got everything from Rachmaninoff to Peaches across 3 and a half hours, I hope you enjoy it.

If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead - James Blake: James Blake has got such a big brain and this song is unbelievable. He has such a way of taking things that could be gimmicky like this vocal stuttering, or looping vocals and making them totally heartrending.

The Boxer - The Chemical Brothers: The central melody of this song is constantly stuck in my head and complete proof that you can make an incredibly catchy hook with just three notes if you need to.

known(1) - Autechre: I think this is maybe Autechre's most straightforward song but it still sounds like a harpsichord concerto getting sucked into a black hole. The way the violin-ish part swoops around throughout the whole thing, disintegrating and reforming before your eyes is hypnotising.

Sundown - Boards Of Canada: Guess who started crying this month listening to an ambient Boards Of Canada song thinking about how the end of soil is within my lifetime and we have destroyed our only home the earth!!

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys: With their new album coming out I went back and listened to AM for the first time in a while and it's still really astonishing what they pulled off. This and R U Mine? completely blew me away when they came out. Having the audacity to completely change your sound and style and have it work perfectly is amazing, and then disappearing for five years and trying to do it again? Bold.

FML - Kanye West: I was listening to this a lot when Kanye was off his lexapro and fucking his whole life up. And now there's a sequel to this on the new album where Kim's begging him not to fuck the money up, which I think is a very good kind of storytelling.

United P92 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I love the idea of ambient Venetian Snares and this is the song on the album where their two ideas meet in the middle the best I think. Also the way this builds and builds into total chaos I always forget that it's coming and get surprised when it says 'the machine can cum', what a funny song.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: I saw Autolux's drummer in Jack White's band when he played on SNL a couple of weeks ago and suddenly remembered how perfect this song is. A true testament to the power of a simple groove that sounds like it was recorded in a concrete garage.

Young For Eternity - The Subways: Yet another great song about being a vampire and all the benefits that vampirism can bring to your life! Thank god for Dracula! He sucked the shit out of me, now I can leave my work for nights and leave my days for sleeping! Young for eternity!

Oh Yeah - The Subways: I bought a 7" of this song a couple of weeks ago in honour of the time it inexplicably caused me a mental breakdown and made me sprint out of my house to drive around town crying and listening to it on repeat for some hours about 5 years ago. Not sure what that was about!

The Blues - Defeater: As far as songs that go for less than a minute go, I really can't fault this one. Pure power, it does absolutely everything it sets out to do and still manages to get two choruses in under the wire.

Bombay - El Guincho: I saw Holy Mountain this month in a double feature with El Topo, and although El Topo kind of sucked I loved The Holy Mountain a lot. There's a part where there's been a battle and a whole lot of protesters are dying on the ground bleeding, except you can see that the blood and guts are obviously special effects, you can see the hose that she's using to pretend to cry and the guts are green balloons and things like that. Hold on I found it on youtube anyway I know I've seen it before and I thought it was in the video to this song or another one of CANADA's videos but I watched them all and can't find it! If anyone can tell me the music video I'm thinking of, thankyou. This song is also, of course, good.

Swim Good - Frank Ocean: Honestly has there ever been a better song about wearing a cool suit and driving your car into the ocean?? Never. This is perhaps the best sing along song ever because you've got to do your smoothest voice ever until he does his little emo yells of 'I'm goin out!' near the end.

Batphone - Arctic Monkeys: I think this is my favourite song off the new Arctive Monkeys, it's the most '3am slamming away at a club piano' type vibe of them all, but most of all I love the little spiralling into space guitar noise that keeps happening whenever he finishes a line.

An Open Letter To NYC - Beastie Boys: I'm almost always thinking about the time Beastie Boys made a very serious song about how good New York is after 9/11 and they said 'dear New York I know a lot has changed, we're two towers down but we're still in the game'.

Black Car - Beach House: I can't get enough of the new Beach House album, and this song in particular. It's some of my favourite lyrics of theirs ever, a good song for when you're trapped in a dark labyrinth of your own creation.

Midnight Radio 1 - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Got quite heavily into Bohren & Der Club Of Gore again this month. This is from the album before they got rid of their guitarist and replaced him with a saxophonist, which pretty dramatically changed their sound from 'extremely brooding night music' to 'film noir soundtrack', which is still very good but really not the same. Anyway this song goes for 20 minutes and it feels illegal to listen to it any time before 2am.

House In LA - Jungle: I am so excited that Jungle are finally back and with such an amazing song too. I love how spacious this is, it feels very different to their first - a lot more grown up and I really can't wait for the album.

Lemonworld - The National: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'the guy from the national sounds like he's been going through a divorce for ten years now' which is very true, but this song feels like it's from happier times when he went to see his sister in law and had an morosely horny time. This song feels like the entire experience of reading a literary novel condensed into 4 minutes: a depressed older man in New York having a sort of backwards, confusing sexual thought. This is a song I regularly listen to on repeat and sing along to, it's a very specific feeling and I think "it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me" is one of the best lines he's ever written.

Rigamortis - Zomby: I put off listening to the new Zomby album for so long because his last one was just so boring but he's completely redeemed himself on this, it's really something. It feels like one long piece, which is amazing when any sort of thematic coherence is a rarity for Zomby albums. There's a lot of recurring sounds and motifs, and almost zero drums in the traditional sense. It feels like a really mature reflection on grime that he's been building up to for years.

Indoors - Burial: Whereas this song sounds like you're waiting outside a club in hell.

Segeln Ohne Wind - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Another Bohren song but from much, much later. I love the way the brass sounds in this when it finally comes in, it's so rich and overpowering.

Isle Of The Dead - Segei Rachmaninoff: Wikipedia says "The piece was inspired by a black and white reproduction of Arnold Böcklin's painting, Isle of the Dead, which Rachmaninoff saw in Paris in 1907. Rachmaninoff was disappointed by the original painting when he later saw it, saying, "If I had seen first the original, I, probably, would have not written my Isle of the Dead. I like it in black and white." and it also says "Prints were very popular in central Europe in the early 20th century—Vladimir Nabokov observed in his novel Despair that they could be "found in every Berlin home". Folks what is going on with this spooky painting.

Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction: For a long time this was the emergency dead air song on Triple J, which is an inspired choice in my opinion because there'd be ten seconds of eerie silence because something's gone wrong at the station and then suddenly two huge loud chords! and dogs barking! A BEEN CAUGHT STEEL IN! ONCE!

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel: I was sitting on the toilet when I saw a news article that said Peter Gabriel has finally made his music available on Spotify and I said 'yessssssss' loudly myself and then played Sledgehammer. Honorable mention to the best ever sample of this song in Contemporary Man by Action Bronson, which is unfortunately still unavailable on Spotify.

Reaching The Gulf - Dylan Carlson: I saw a review of this album saying Dylan Carlson is the only choice for soundtrack if they ver make a movie of Blood Meridian and they're completely right. I'm also so glad that he collaborated with Emma Ruth Rundle on this, it feels like the closest I'll get to bonus tracks to her Electric Guitar One album.

T-1000 - Swarms: I have no idea where or why I first heard this album but it's been in my rotation for a long time. It's in the general canon of post-Burial dubstep before dubstep got americanized and it's just very nice. When the vocals finally come in on this it's a very emotional moment for me.

Casino Trem - Tyondai Braxton: It's really surprising listening to Tyondai Braxton's work after Battles because he has such a distinct melodic style it's shocking to realise how much he brought to that first album. After listening to a lot of his solo stuff it becomes so recognisable it almost feels like you can go back through Mirroroed and pick out every single guitar line of his making. Anyway this song is great. Starts out sounding like what it feels like to be trapped in a pokie and ends up like you're trapped in a databent Banjo Kazooie cartridge.

Kick It - Peaches & Iggy Pop: The first time I ever heard this song, and the first time I ever heard of Peaches or Iggy Pop was on the soundtrack to Midnight Club 3 so I didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I still don't really. I love that this is supposed to be like a dangerous sexy song but the whole time Iggy Pop is just rebuffing her advances and bullying her. Then she's like 'go to berlin' and then the song ends. Still not sure what this one's about still!

If You Know You Know - Pusha T: GOD this song is good, I've been listening to it on repeat. What I love about Pusha T is where a lot of other rappers talk sort of frivolously about drug dealing and everything, he often feels like he's putting his hand on your shoulder and looking you straight in the eyes saying 'I am not fucking around. If you need drugs of any calibre or kind I can get them for you in massive quantities.' The impish way he's saying 'if you know you know', absolutely kills me, like he's a cartoon man winking at me while hiding drugs inside a tennis ball.

Hacker - Death Grips: I think I put this on my playlist last month but I'm still on it so. My new favourite part of this song is when he says "The table's flipped now we got all the coconuts bitch / Burmese babies under each arm / Screaming beautiful songs".

Cavity - Hundred Waters: Hundred Waters feel like a really underrated band to me, I've been listening to their last two album a lot this month and they're just stunning. The long build up towards the end before the two note melody comes back and kills me? What a moment.

Music For The Long Emergency - Polica: I didn't love this album when it came out but I've been listening to it more and more and it's really growing on me. I think I put this song on a playlist a month or two ago so I won't write more but let me say this: Polica rules.

On The Grid - Lime: tfw you turn the knob and you do a good job and you wind up on the grid :/

Elephants - Them Crooked Vultures: I feel like Them Crooked Vultures gets forgotten when people talk about Queens Of The Stone Age albums. People bring up Desert Sessions and Kyuss but somehow forget that this giant album happened. Anyway this is far and away the best song on it because it just keeps on giving and giving. It's just a huge jam about riding an elephant and having cool hair(?).

Particle - Hundred Waters: This song feels like it could be the EDM hit of the summer if it was structured slightly differently, but instead it's the biggest brain pop song I've heard in a long time. I love how much power the bass has in this, it really feels impactful when it comes and goes. The vocal performance is obviously incredible as always but I really love the distorted vocal line that sort of tears itself apart now and then, against how clean everything else in this song sounds it really makes it.

Me Or Us - Young Thug: Thinking hard about when Young Thug sampled First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes and made it into a really really good song.

Because I Love You - Montaigne: God this song is good. All the time the lyric 'I ate a salad today, I ate one yesterday too' pops into my head and makes me laugh. She tweeted about this song a couple of days ago and it really made me laugh: "My ex-boyfriend & I once watched BBC Sherlock & during the ep he paused & basically soliloquised about how he’s a tortured genius just like Sherlock & I’m his Watson in as condescending a way as you’re probably imagining then poured a shot of whiskey & now you know the story"​

listen here

[ryouverua]

Chapter 4 Investigation (Part 2)

Things are never boring with this lovable scamp as your partner!

Man that was a quick turnaround, Himiko! Though I have to say, your avatar is quite cute...

also seeing all the icons against each other makes me laugh because Shuichi and Himiko have the most defined lashes omfg and Miu... programmed/designed them all to be that way...

Yeah, I really do think someone snuck here to log Kaito out. Tsumugi was distracted or something? Maybe? Kokichi would have had access to it, being that he was right near by in the salon...

And then, about an unexpected yet surprisingly hilarious interlude involving maps - 

NO SHIT, NOT-SHERLOCK

So the Kaito-centric dynamic of our little three-person group is that obvious, huh...

MORE OF GAMER SNOB TSUMUGI KTHNX

mystery solved she was filled with such potent angry nerd rage that she murdered Miu over the graphics you can’t tell me that isn’t plausible

I’m. Baffled???? 

also of course, more hilarious exchanges

Okay, uh, I.... was not expecting to find this? And I’ll be honest, I have no idea how it would fit in at all. Or why it’s over here. I’m just... gonna... put that on the back-burner for a bit.

I feel like me not knowing why it would be there is still better than K1-b0′s theory. 

Oh right, Kaito was logged out before it came back. And now we’re talking about the direction of the river, and how the sign got washed over against the river flow, but I’m not too worried about that? Like I said, I feel like from a game design standpoint it would make sense for the river to loop right-to-left so items and/or people wouldn’t be accidentally lost if they fell in and went off-map.

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

.... then the avatar stays ‘active’ in the VR world. I suppose it’s a somewhat poetic ending for Miu in that sense - her avatar’s presence will be an immortal legacy in here, or at least until the VR world itself ends. 

Ooooh...??? We’re going to hear about this before the trial?

WHERE KAITO WAS....

I think some of the pieces are starting to come together a bit in my head.

Probably to give her a chance to sneak off and find a way to the other side - and I bet since she modified the world, she knew ways to do that. Maybe that board beside her?

OH WELL FUCK MY ORIGINALLY THEORY OF SOMEONE GOING BACK TO THE MANSION TO LOG KAITO OUT

goddamnit Miu just casually throwing a cellphone into the mix

HOW

DARE

YOU

MADAM

oh oops I guess I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead huh

OH and also she had a hammer which you know, should be a very pressing issue considering the implications of Miu having a weapon-like object on her when everyone else was defenceless but I AM STILL STEAMING ABOUT THE CELLPHONE

bOYFRIENDS god they’re so cute look at their blushing sprites i’m dying.....

Ah good, at least that part I got right.

.....

Um. Shuichi. Did you, uh, give him a heads up about what you were going to do when I blinked or....?

SHUICHI COMMUNICATION IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ASTRONAUTS AND FOR HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

AND ESPECIALLY FOR HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ASTRONAUT

“It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” Somehow I think it’s still going to be hard...

Oh man imagine being thrown out of the game when you’re sick the way he is 8′D The vertigo, the sudden potential nausea/lung pain, etc...

A-Aaaaw! Poor Kaito - he keeps getting logged out, left behind and just generally tossed aside - for that matter, he’s been called an idiot for a decent amount of the game and spent half of chapter 3 stuck in his room, sick and terrified. Shuichi didn’t mean to leave you behind, Kaito! He’s just an awkward introvert who doesn’t know how to communicate, promise!

Oh man, is that salt I’m detecting in our Ultimate Astronaut?

Anyway, we already knew that the lattice was from the roof so when he talks about something being missing, it wasn’t hard to figure out what it was. Also, the lock can only be done from the outside, so you can’t get locked out of the roof, but you can get locked/stuck on the roof itself.

Aaaw Himiko 8′D You get attached to things quickly too, huh? I can relate a little too well. are your tabs and room a mess too

Alright, Maki’s here on Kaito’s behalf because Monotaro wanted to show us more info. It’s kinda weird having him on our side, even if it’s temporary, but hey, any help at this point is good!

Damn, Maki’s still here with those back-handed compliments. Still, that might be one of the nicest things she’s said to Shuichi so far. Baby steps! yeah you might not want to sound like Kaito but he’s definitely rubbing off on you

OMG HE’S STILL SALTY ABOUT THE LOGGING OUT THING

Man it’s really weird to see that icon with Maki. But hey, at least she’s trying to help them fix things rather than stew in jealousy like earlier/stay mad at Kaito about leaving her in the chapel. 8′D

Aaaaand back to the real world!

“For example, there’s me, your beloved!”

"SOMEONE GET ME A HELMET, I’M GOING BACK INTO THE VR WORLD.”

“Turn around so I can put a ‘Kick Me’ sign on your back! It’s what you deserve!”

“Wait, that doesn’t say ‘Kick Me’, that says Saiouma is endgame OTP -”

“Oops! I lied. Still putting it on you, though.”

Interesting pause and neutral face here...

..................

Oh. But.... it can only be locked.... from the outside. So there’s no way he was locked out unless he was physically blocked.

I think I 100% caught him in a lie here.

Schrodinger’s Kokichi Ouma....

“LIFE PARTNERS! EMBRACE ME, AIBOU -`”

“Ouma I swear to -”

Oh fml I’m starting to get an awful feeling - p-please stop referring to it as sleeping, it’s.... really feeding into my theory that I thought was wild but is starting to become less and less crazy-sounding in my head...

D-Don’t you trust in your sidekick, bro? D:

Omfg you just know Miu is the type to put a ton of aside comments in her code and it’s all vulgar...

Yup, true. Confirmed.

Either for defensive... or offensive purposes.

Apparently the cellphone was another object she choose not to delete as well. Man Miu, your post-humous impression on everyone is looking kinda bleak! Now that I think about it, I remember noting her panicking after that flashback light. I’m starting to think she might be the person I was looking for who would fit the ‘desperate to get out of here’ bill.

That’s an odd detail. 

Yeah, I guess I did originally figure that was the case. So there was probably another point of entry on the ‘outside’ edge, like the looping river.

Wait what?! Doesn’t that mean she is unbreakable?! Did she think it would make her impossible to kill or something???

I mean... it’s gotta be the one acting as a barrier to ‘outside’ the map, right? I guess it makes sense that if the river can loop, maybe the whole map itself does. That explains why we could hear K1-b0. Was there a secret entrance along the wall that everyone ignored because they thought there was nothing beyond the wall on either side?

MIU LIED SWEETCHEEKS, THAT AIN’T JUST SOMETHING KOKICHI, YOU AND KAEDE CAN DO

OoooooOOOOH

OH

OH..........

MIU...

Girl I think you played yourself

Whelp, that just solved a huge chunk of the questions I had!

Wait what??? Now that is pretty unexpected. It’s starting to raise some interesting possibilities though. 

Yeah, that’s the face I would have if I found out I had been unwittingly sabotaged. 8′D Oh Miu, what in the world were you up to... 

Oh?

.... No

no no no

no no no no no

no

no

no

NO

NO

NO EXPLAIN THE ERROR EXPLAIN IT RIGHT NOW

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘BING BONG’

NO

EXPLAIN THE ERROR

DON’T LEAVE IT AS A MYSTERY

WE HAVEN’T MADE ANY REFERENCE TO THE WIRES CROSSING IN THE HELMETS

NO

NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK YOU I THINK I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I WON’T STAND FOR IT

BECAUSE THERE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN AVATAR ACTING STRANGELY IN THE GAME, BUT THERE IS SOMEONE USING VAGUE ENOUGH LANGUAGE AND REFERRING TO THE WORLD AS A ‘DREAM’ AND THE ACT OF LOGGING IN AS ‘SLEEPING’

AND CONVENIENTLY DID NOT LOG IN THE SECOND TIME

DON’T

YOU

FUCKING

DO IT

DANGANRONPA

NO FUCK YOU MONOKUMA LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M CURSING YOU OUT

First Miu’s schtick, now Himiko’s - is there any persona you won’t steal this chapter?

GONTA................ GONTA, NO I’M SUDDENLY DEATHLY AFRAID FOR YOU AGAIN.......

FML Kokichi has the right attitude that no one aside from Shuichi seems to have and

and

fuck

I.... if I’m right, this is not going to have the triumphant ending the last one had... not at all -

omg Himiko you sound like me

uHH

OMFG -

IT’S WAVING IN THE WIIIIIIIIIIND

BRB guys I need to temporarily find a way into the DRV3 game so I can give Himiko a huge high five.

Man I don’t know if Kokichi knows who the culprit is, but I think he is way too excited about the idea of harassing Kaito...

And Kaito knows it.

Ugh, there really is, huh? That’s why I find the vibe i so weird after the third trial. You just get used to feeling how they all interact with each other, there are all these different personalities and - poof. Gone. And suddenly you get a lot more from fewer people, and the world just seems so much larger and emptier.

I-I MEAN.... YOU’RE NOT WRONG, BUT....

Man, the way they’re all cheering him on should be heartwarming and encouraging but it’s kinda freaking me out a little bit? Is that weird?

give him a back massage. you know, between bros.

omg Kokichi are you Shuichi’s agent now or something?

“SORRY KAI-WHATEVER, MR. SAIHARA IS A VERY IMPORTANT MAN AND IS TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED BY THE LIKES OF YOU ~ “

Kokichi my boy, you really need to work on your flirting game.

“BRO!”

“BRO....!”

I’M SORRY I’M WEAK FOR ALL THIS ‘BRO’ TALK

That seriously sounds like a threat. 8′D Gosh though, you’re really not having it with Kaito today, huh? Now that I think about it, with Miu gone you and Kaito are going to be the strongest personalities in the trial. This is gonna get interesting...

a;sdlkfja there’s so few of them... oTL

Yeah, she really did. And man did she leave a big impact. Even if she wasn’t my favourite character of the bunch, she had a surprisingly interesting dynamic with a lot of the others and she definitely wasn’t forgettable. It’s going to be weird not to have her around. To think that I originally thought she would get knocked off within the first two chapters... 8′D

Alright so, notes - and as usual I’ll transcribe because my writing sucks. I did doodle some stuff too though ~

Left side of the map (mansion):

Shuichi/Tsumugi (together)

Kaito - roof/logged out 1 hour before

Kokichi

Gonta

Right side of the map (chapel)

Maki

Himiko

K1-b0

Miu * - dead, but also with the ability to cross sides

So I drew out the map both ways - once, the way it is in the game, and two, with the left/right side against each other and the loading screen as the ‘walls’ on the outside. I’m guessing that was the original map. I’m guessing the added wall was the barrier on the edge of the game map.

In the real world, they were seated like this with the computer at the top of the semi-circle:

Gonta                     Maki

Himiko                   Kaito

Tsumugi                 Shuichi

K1-b0                     Kokichi (with poison in his seat)

Miu

So now that the stages are set:

First, the so-called obvious culprits and other red herrings:

Kaito

Man, someone was pushing to set Kaito up and I think that may have been Miu. It would be one thing if my original speculation about the lobby phone being used by the culprit to log Kaito out was one thing, but once the cellphone was found on Miu there really wasn’t any ambiguity left. He was definitely logged out remotely. It would have been interesting if she had logged him out via lobby phone and her wall-crossing abilities, but maybe the writers thought that could have been too hard to work out...

Kokichi

He’s been acting hella suspicious but once that paralysis feature got revealed, he was knocked out of the running. 

Miu being on the chapel side - solved by her avatar being classified as an object. Did the culprit know that too? I guess if Tsumugi could spot her through the window, Miu wasn’t exactly being subtle about her presence on the other side.

Poison - another red herring. No bloodshot eyes

Before I go on, you’ll note I circled a name on the ‘alive’ list, then drew a VERY unhappy face, and just kinda went NOOOOOOO in caps because

FML I THINK IT WAS GONTA...

Is he the one that got the error code? He thinks it was all a dream - did he accidentally switch the wires? It did say the wires were for ‘memory’ and ‘consciousness’, and what better example of that is a fading dream...

Anyway, I’m going to get back to that ^ because I’m still like..... ugh. I have logical reasons that point to him, but emotionally I’m a bit of a wreck. So honestly, it sounds like Miu tried to kill Kokichi. You can see I underlined it in caps in the bottom right corner. 8′D I’m thinking Kokichi knew it was coming somehow? I’m not sure if it was just when they agreed to meet on the rooftop or before then, but I’m wondering if he set up Gonta as his bodyguard, knowing full well that Gonta has been slowly driving himself mad because of his inability to protect the people around him. I love Gonta, but he can get irrational when he gets emotional aka a certain insect-related incident...

As well as that, we have confirmed alibis: Tsumugi was with Shuichi, Kaito was out of range, Maki/K1-b0/Himiko were together, and Kokichi would have been paralyzed on contact. By process of elimination (which is so, so cold), Gonta is the only person who could have done it in the game - and we even saw him alone at the end, didn’t he?

So I’m wondering if it went like this...

Miu makes a move against Kokichi via their meeting

Gonta moves to protect Kokichi out of desperation and grabs her by the neck

She was definitely strangled, aka her expression/body position - Kokichi couldn’t do it because of the paralysis though, so it had to be someone else

Maybe Gonta didn’t realize his own strength, because he was rendered as weak as everyone else and he took the fact that he was nerfed to heart?

and/or maybe he just didn’t realize he killed Miu because he didn’t know he could in this world

pushed her off the roof via, uh, rolling up that lattice.. fencing... stuff sorry I don’t know I’m picturing her little avatar being wrapped up in fencing like a sushi roll and it’s making me laugh and sent her to the other side where she hits the chapel wall

can ~lie~ to us so well because he can’t remember his time in VR - he keeps referring to it as ‘sleep’ or ‘dream’

So that would explain why Kokichi seems to be dancing around us like he knows everything, but man... he’s also seriously ragging on Gonta despite Gonta saving his life??? And him basically using Gonta as disposable protection??? I’m a little scared about exactly what that means for Kokichi and his character, damn...

B-But even still, I can’t... quite... reconcile this in my head. Kokichi is literally the only person I can think of that has any sort of antagonism with Miu. Honestly, anyone else killing Miu is hard for me to imagine - which I guess is maybe the point? And the reason they ‘equalized’ everyone’s strength wasn’t to make Gonta easy to kill like I thought it was when we first went in there, but to make a physical murder like strangulation more difficult for him when he’s at the same strength as everyone else. So I mean, on a meta level/technical level, it does make sense! But - but - Gonta! How can it be Gonta! On a cold hard logic level I feel like it’s all sound, but emotionally.... oTL

I.... don’t......... want to...........

fuCK IT I’M GOING BACK IN TIME PRECIOUS BUG BOY I’M GOING TO FINISH KAITO’S FTE’S THEN I’M DOING YOURS

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 3]

It’s time for hunting for thieves with Burgh! Long may no one else die in the process!

Team headcount:

Boeing (Latios)

Frogger (Seismitoad)

Ptera (Archeops)

Palm (Shroomish)

I’ll also throw the Miracle Seed on Palm, since I forgot to do that last time.

Hm. This is technically part of the same route Palm came from, but it’s a different area. I think if the randomizer considers it part of a different area, I will too. So if it has something from the outside part, I won’t catch it. If it turns out they both happen to have some things in common, and the first one was one of those, oh well. It was the first one in the area.

Stepping forward to find out if we get a new one or not.

I don’t want it.

This might be a bad idea, but I think I’m going to let Palm just murder it. I do not want an Octillery, and then I’ll still only have one thing from Pinwheel Forest. It might be something I end up regretting, because as of right now, if my team wipes, I have nothing eligible to start over with, but.

Exp gotten, Grape avenged one more time.

So far there is nothing in this forest except for Octillery. What is this hell.

I do not like the Patrat line. I might never like it again. Appropriate that Team Plasma currently seems to do almost nothing else.

Okay, so for future reference, the insides of Pinwheel Forest are counted as a different area by the Randomizer. That future might not be so far off, depending on how this goes. The important thing is that something besides an Octillery can exist in these woods.

I have photo evidence.

Without it, even I wouldn’t believe at this point.

Awesome, recovered the skull. Considering the size, I am not sure how a boy my age manages to do anything with it but not be crushed by it, but thankfully the plot is uninterested in such complications. Skull get.

I have no memory of what that means. I assume it means that if I live long enough, I’m gonna beat you up.

Oh good, we give the skull to Lenora. She’s someone I have faith in to be able to lift it. She is very mighty, and when I don’t think about the consequences of our battle I still am highly appreciative of her.

I basically don’t do anything for the next twenty minutes but run around and let Ptera kill stuff. I am overusing Ptera because Ptera can one-shot everything into oblivion, and that’s a comfort.

But.

There is good news after I remember I have other pokemon.

Boeing

no longer has Psywave.

I’d never really bothered looking up the accuracy, I just was sad when the damn thing never hit. It turns out, in addition to having variable damage, Psywave has 80% accuracy.

I have never hated a move so much.

It’s gone now.

Boeing can murder things.

Together, friend. We will make it to the end of this.

Oh, the bridge! This is the one with the bridge! Bridges, even!

Best part of this generation for sure.

Now we’re in sections I think I remember a little more about. Mostly in relation to how often I ended up lost in this place. It’s not really that difficult, but for many, many years all of the towns and other locations were nice and neat 2D things. You might not know where to go next in some spots, but having trouble figuring out where you were wasn’t really a thing.

Along comes Castelia City, and it’s all “hold my drink,” and I, a mere ten-year-old, trip down back alleys trying to find out what in the heck I’m meant to be doing.

Now I, a mere ten-year-old, will probably do much the same. With an active interest in seeking out any grass.

The real question here is which evolution stone I want. I can’t use Panpour. So I guess... hm. I might as well go with the Fire option? I think I mussed with the evolution settings, so I’m not sure if I need them or not (I shouldn’t need to trade anything to get it to evolve, but past that, it’s one giant shrug). I also don’t have anything in my party that needs a stone yet, and there is no way to guess at what I might find in the future.

What I do know is I have a Grass and a Water pokemon, so let’s just round that out. That’s what the chimp options are there for, after all.

Fire Stone get.

I have zero memory of what’s up with the ship, but boats usually mean trainers to fight. Whatever the case, it is presently plot-locked.

We’re going through the city to try to gather all the Dancer trainers for a squad, which basically means beating up more of the Pan-squad, and a guy in the alley jumps out and gives us Flash.

Pokemon games are the best.

Dance squad assembled. Now that I think about it, I think this might be the version where rotating battles are introduced. I also think that might not be the right name, but the important bit is that three pokemon are participating at once and you can rotate through. I bring this up now because I’m wondering if talking to these guys again will set one off.

...Nope. I do get an Amulet Coin, though. Those are always good to have.

A building full of trainers I didn’t remember! That’s much better than running back to Pinwheel Forest or going ahead for grinding. Too bad this resource doesn’t renew itself.

Oh, nice. The guy to our right gave us Quick Balls and Timer Balls. Those are some of my favorites.

I’m not touching the Gym until everyone’s 30. I already regret that decision, but you know something else I regret? No longer having a Fire type. So yeah, this is the program and we’re sticking to it.

A Hyper Potion and Revive are also in this building. One of those has no use to us, so yay free money. Here’s hoping that we don’t use up the other one right away. I’m already imagining the horror that is the Elite Four.

Also, since I never play these games with the volume on (ancient suspicions about battery life from the era of AAs), can I just say how wonderfully spooky the Scientist theme is?

Heeeeeey. That is a good thing to have.

Time to check if I’m able to go forward, or if my grinding has to be stuck at Pinwheel Forest. As much as I like the bridge, let me tell you my preference.

Forward enough, anyway.

I think there will be some sort of roadblock ahead, but I should be able to come across my next teammate first. And some Fishermen.

Palm enjoyed meeting the Fishermen.

First encounter spotted.

Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever used one of these in a game before. The evolution is never worth bothering with unless you’re shooting for the pokedex entry, and I think by the time you run into its first form, you’ve already got most of your team arranged already.

The real question is if I have something that won’t kill it...

I think Cut might be the answer.

...I am the worst trainer ever, fml.

So. Uh.

The Escavalier is caught.

Apparently it knew something besides Fury Attack and Leer. Funny story, that.

Boeing is dead.

Ahahaha. Wow. I do not want you. You murdered my best friend. You are also now more necessary than you were. So. You need a name.

You’re a dark knight.

First girl on the team is named Batman.

Batman does not kill.

The real challenge of this game is going to be whether or not I can ever have six usable pokemon at a time. Dang. This is much rougher than anticipated. Boeing was one of those beasts I thought would be with me until the very end.

Of course, the same can be said for all that now lie here. I was definitely arrogant enough to assume that I could go through the game with none of you dying.

Serves me right, I suppose.

I really hope I don’t need to teach something else Cut now.

Goodbye, Boeing. We had four levels of being useful together. You taught me to hate Psywave, and your sacrifice brought Batman to the team. In time she will learn to honor that.

Batman is Adamant and loves to eat. That is about the best Nature I could ask for. She isn’t going to be very useful at the moment, but she has the Exp. Share now, so. We’re going to change that.

This run just got much harder. Again.

Apparently Bug is the theme of this desert.

That is one definite disadvantage to starting with a Psychic pokemon. Bug hurts. It doesn’t help that I almost constantly forgot what Boeing’s typing was.

Huh. Geodude also frequent this area.

It’s funny. Out of what’s available, so far I’ve been pretty darn happy with what I’ve ended up with. I mean, I would prefer Batman being a little weaker so I still had Boeing, but Escavalier is not awful. And I’ve never used one before. All praise the randomness.

You know what else is funny?

All the wild Escavalier here need multiple hits even with moves that are effective. All those turns I spent Cutting Batman down to size, allowing room for Boeing’s death, were unnecessary.

Haaaaa. Live and learn.

Unless you’re Boeing.

Frogger’s just going to murder everything in this route while the meager party slowly grows to level 30. Once more I feel my boredom setting in, but at this point I don’t think being less cautious is really a good idea. Getting six pokemon in my party has become something to strive for instead of the expectation.

-checks in an hour later-

Someone save me from this hell.

I think when the time comes, I’m going to take Ptera and Palm back to Pinwheel. The level differences aren’t that great, and ALL the Blaziken kills would probably do them both some good. Ptera can probably take the things in the desert, but his Defense is terrible if something goes wrong (which it easily might) and I’m not so sure about Palm. Either way Palm’s getting the Exp. Share for it, and that’s probably still twenty minutes away, because grinding.

I really wish I hadn’t accidentally killed Timon and Boeing.

You never realize what a useful tool letting pokemon faint is until you can’t. Sigh.

I am going to giggle like a small child every time that question pops up. My only good decisions in this run are their names.

Fun fact: Grinding is boring.

Batman and Frogger are all set, so I did make my way back to Pinwheel Forest in the hopes of helping Palm’s unfortunate Nature out with some better EVs and just generally having him and Ptera fight against things they could kill in one hit.

That’s working out.

This is taking forever.

I refuse to do this for the next gym. Isn’t failure the spice of any challenge?

I don’t even know what the next Gym is... Wait. Is it the electric model one? I think it might be. I remember liking her. I like her pokemon less. Flying electric squirrels are hardish to kill.

Ptera learned Acrobatics. So that’s neat.

Two. More. Levels. Come on. Bring on the massive surge of wild Blaziken.

Have I already pointed out that this is one of the generations where exp is calculated in part by level differential? The more I need the less I get.

At long last. It is done.

In your memory, Timon.

Dude, c’mon. It was going to be touching. I was going to murder all your Bugs and be like, “this is for all the things I accidentally got killed on my way here!” and now you’ve gone and ruined it with your plot interruptions. Sigh.

I’m supposed to go to one of the piers. If I’d been reading the text instead of mashing buttons I probably would know which one, but walking down each option and trying them all in order is fun, right? Right.

It’s always the last one you check.

I remember just enough of the story to say that was one heck of a mistake they done made.

Oh wait, Bianca’s pokemon? Oh. That’s much sadder.

Team Plasma grunt shows up, and it’s time to run after it. After all, I am ten. I am the most reliable aid anyone could ask for in a situation such as this.

I say, brilliant deduction, Burgh!

There is probably art of Burgh and Looker somewhere on the internet. They solve crimes.

Guess who has thirteen levels on Team Plasma like a boss. It is all four of my remaining pokemon. Yay.

They keep bringing up the Seven Sages, and I keep not remembering any of them except for one. My memory was that there was the one guy. And even that guy was pretty blurry. Now there are seven?

I just wanna catch stuff and pick fights hurry up plot.

The plot hears my requests and punishes me with an infodump about pokemon mythology of the region. Why this.

For my current purposes, I don’t care, but I actually like Black and White’s background for Unova. I like stories about heroes and dragons, and having the cover legendaries being relevant in things that aren’t just glamorized sidequests. It’s a fun game.

The monsters are just so much funner.

Let us try this again!

I love all the gyms in this generation.

Our first victim starts with a level 20 Sewaddle and a level 20 Venipede.

Ptera covers his claws in their blood.

...Okay, that one’s a little too dark. The opponents’ monsters aren’t actually dying, just fainting. My guys are the only ones who can die, adding new weight to Batman’s name. She will go into battle for justice, never inflicting lethal damage, yet she might one day fall.

Burgh’s pokemon are probably mid-20s. It’s fair to say I didn’t need to grind as much as I did, and it’s also fair to say I’d do it all over again because the last Gym was traumatic.

I wonder if part of how they decide Gym Leaders is asking them what they’ll do if they get their own building and carte blanche to design it. That should be the new Sorting question: What Type would your Gym be, and what are your thoughts on its interior design?

I think one of them this gen has you being shot through the air with cannons.

We look so serious.

Burgh does not.

First up is a level 21 Whirlipede. I feel fairly confident in saying that Ptera is up to the challenge.

Following that is a level 21 Dwebble. It does not have Sturdy.

Last is a level 23 Leavanny, and if you think these short sentences are a really uninspired way of describing such an epic fight, you’d be right, but they did not have much to work with. Ptera took everything that didn’t have an Ability preventing such acts down in one hit.

His prize.

He has the option of learning DragonBreath, and I normally wouldn’t bother with it, but considering how worried I am about whether or not I’ll manage to have six pokemon in a party at once, AncientPower with its 5 PP taking up a move slot is... maybe not what I want to go with.

On the other hand, Ptera’s a physical attacker and DragonBreath only does 60 with no STAB.

We are abandoning the way of the dragon, Ptera.

That was Boeing’s realm.

Badge get! Now, are we going to be able to leave the Gym without the plot calling?

No. The answer is no.

Look, it’s free exp! I mean one of my best friends!

With that invitation received, our time in Castelia comes to a close. This segment saw our most painful loss yet. Hopefully that has taught me a thing or two about being careful, but those lessons tend to be really temporary with me and video games.

Until next time.

[stationaryzephyr]

Officially a problem not a person now

I can't tell who's heart is breaking more.

My flatmate/best friend has said if I don't get my eating issues under control that I'd need to move out. Back to mum's or find somewhere here (no chance of a one bedroom) Sort out my eating issues myself or go to a clinic if there's a free one here, or the mental health hospital cos he can't deal with it anymore.... Jesus Christ. What a geat day to end to start the weekend

OR Move back down to mum's. Or Try find my own place here.

FML. That's a shitty ultimatum

I don't and can't move back to mums, It'd be a back step to me. It's virtually impossible to find a one bedroom place here.

So I see my GP on Tuesday anyway which was pre planned who has threatened it before, I see my psychologist on Wednesday next week as well. Maybe one of them have an idea on what my options are cos god knows I can't control her here with him, I really don't want to be such a burden to everyone so I need to sort my shit.

Yet I'm terrified about going somewhere like a clinic. Ive been in hospitals before but not for ED. Apparently according to my best friend/flat mate who works forensic side, it's "hell" in the general ward.

I'm really scared. I don't want to have to leave but what if I fail and can't beat my anorexic side. But I don't want to lose her either. I like the way my weight was decreasing.

I don't want to move, I love him too much for that.

Gotta do what I gotta do:

Ask the GP about clinics

And and ask psychologist the same thing.

See what comes of that.

Some replies or comments on what to do and how and why would be beneficial. I'm really after genuine help.

But she is me and I sm her 🥺

[thessalian]

Thess vs Planning

I have so much fucking PLANNING to do right now. Budgeting, RP-related stuff, Patreon-related stuff, trying to find a damn job to replace the one I’m currently doing for only one more truncated week, moving the Vox Machina and Mighty Nein scents to Etsy (which is happening in one more week because of budget shit, so I need to get on that “One More Week Until These Go Up In Price” post on SoaW...), and so on and so forth.

Patreon’s kind of exciting ... would be way more so if I had anything like an audience, but fuck it, never mind; in the end, the Dodecronomicon Monster Manual stuff will be going onto Dungeon Master’s Guild so at least someone will maybe read some of that. Anyway, next month’s theme is The Screaming Sands, and I have so many glorious ideas for desert creatures. There aren’t enough desert creatures in my Monster Manual or my Volo’s, and I can’t get Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes until next week at most, so I guess I’ll just have to do it myself. Heh. Also I want to launch FML Gaming next week, so I should probably start playing Far Cry 3 and figure out how feasible recording is while still running the game. Also need to consider what other essays I want to do in July. Probably at least one dealing with a topic that is more familiar than I would generally like it to be - namely, how to get around being down a player, both in the short-term and in the long-term. That’s another one I’m staring down the barrel of from both the short-term and the long-term perspective in the not-too-distant future, and have dealt with a lot in the past, so I guess some introspection on how I deal with it is probably interesting. To someone. Anyway, I also have tomb maps to create, and that’ll be fun. Also a few reviews, probably of older stuff that I’m rediscovering.

I also need to make a few decisions about art for the D&D group. I mean, I have a new player who I have not as yet commissioned art for ... again, because money. However, it’s probably just as well because there’s going to be another shift in the party dynamic in a few sessions. At least this time I got a chance to discuss with the player how to write her out, and there’s theoretically an opening for a return, at least on a guest-star basis, if she ever has time again. Given the composition of my gaming group, I guess that gives away who’s leaving, huh? Yet again, I will be running for a group entirely composed of guys. It’s a thing, apparently.

...Hell, given that one of my players in one group was trans and just hadn’t come to grips with that fact yet, I’ve only had one group that included women at all. ...Actually, is it done to retroactively correct one’s misgendering of a trans person when referring to them in a time when they weren’t aware they were trans? Given that it’s not done to use someone’s dead name when telling an anecdote about them before they began transitioning, it feels more fair if I consider that my friend was a man despite his presentation as female at the time. So ... yeah. One group with one girl in it, at least if I discount online forum stuff where I was running a lot more open-ended.

Anyway, point is that the group dynamic is changing and it feels like the art ought to change too and given the fluidity of this group I’m starting to wonder if it wouldn’t be more cost-effective to commission individual portraits and work from there. Not something I have to deal with right away, anyway.

Etsy ... I admit I’m reconsidering that, because of their policy about taking commission off the fucking postal fees. I mean, come on; that’s not even money we technically get, and involves us having to raise prices on postage to compensate or pay the difference out of our own pockets and is bordering on stealing from the postal service. Etsy, what the fuck are you doing? I may not like you raising the fees you take per sale, but for the POSTAL FEES? Really? That’s scuzzy. Still, I could use the customer base boost.

This is the kind of thing I’m doing that basically uses up all my spoons, guys. A lot of it I don’t know why I bother, but I keep plugging away.

[invinciblerodent]

This is gonna be a very long and super tedious story about my job, so I apologize in advance, but I just. I need to vent.

Long list of petty retail woes under the cut.

I'm really beginning to feel like I messed up. Not by making a mistake, or doing anything reprehensible, but by being too diligent in the first few months, and thus allowing my coworkers to believe they can get away with piling all the work on me.

So in my bookstore, I'm the newest hire, and even I've been here for about five months now (which is how long it took them to get this bold I guess). All but one other girl has been here for years, and most people are already very close because of it, although they are also understandably jaded. (Last year the old company went bankrupt around them, there was a weirdly executed merger when the new owners took over stock and crew, and just a month ago there was ANOTHER owner change, it was a whole thing. I wouldn't feel much like working my ass off in those conditions either, so really, I get it. But that's not the point.)

Now y’all probably know I'm a pretty quiet person in general (I’m not finding it very easy to make friends at all, and at work I still feel very much like an outsider), and it's no secret that I have better work ethic than the position would warrant because, well, not only is that just the type of person I am, I'm also just happy to finally have a job at all (no money < not a lot of money). But I can't help but notice that, more and more often, I've been finding myself saddled with 3-4 distinct tasks at the same time, while the 2-3 people on the same shift are just... standing around and talking.

Just yesterday, I was checking stock for next month's sales (which is busywork consisting of manually looking up literally about 300 titles and noting how many copies we have listed in the inventory- I may be the fastest typist but come on now), doing the price changes (which is checking inventory on ANOTHER list of ~50 sent down from the company, hunting them down in the store -which is sometimes one copy hidden in a messy pile and sometimes a stack of 25 that has to be checked individually- and putting a new, correct price tag on each)........ WHILE helping customers, AND being on register duty. And my register STILL ended up having all the paperwork (online order pickups, gift card sales, returns, vouchers, all of it) and more than double the traffic of my coworker's who 1.) WAS NOT running around the store constantly, 2.) HAD NOT been on her feet two days at that point, and 3.) was visibly NOT BUSY most of the day, as while working I could hear her and the supervisor gossiping pretty much all day.

Not to mention that I WAS STILL SCOLDED BY SAID SUPERVISOR because -get this pettiness- my register had too much of one specific type of change (because "it takes too long to count [nothing says that she would have to count it, that's her idea] and she's gonna miss her bus [8 times out of 10 she misses it anyway because she can't shut up and drags out closing 5-10 minutes by talking]"). Even though she's the one who keeps telling us to ask people for change, which I fucking do like a good noodle, and damn it Jackie, I can't control the type of change people give me. It's the end of the month, people kept coming with huge bills and maybe five cents anyway, we're lucky I have anything besides a fistful of hundreds!

And I've been noticing other hypocrisies too. Like I'm often told to stay at the register because "if there is only one person there they can't leave and help people find things" (understandable, but I already only leave to do exactly that tho????), but if I'm there, I almost always find myself left there alone, sometimes for hours??? And if I dare ask for help or need to go to the bathroom, I always get groans, eyerolls, and often a "just hurry!" in return.

I'm also sometimes told that my breaks "feel long" (which is weird because uuuuuhhhhhhhh not only am I usually the last to eat at like 2 pm, sometimes I'm too busy and have no time to have my second, and I time myself exactly to the company-allotted time with a fucking stopwatch), but other people full on just say "I need to pick up [X] at [Y]" and fuck off to go to the store across from us for 10-20 minutes, just whenever they damn well please.

Not to mention that I'm often told my boyfriend arriving five minutes before closing to pick me up after I'm done is distracting (even though every single time, I just give him a quick peck, say "hi, I'm still on the clock" and continue doing my job)- not the fact that my coworkers tend to spend 20+ minutes literally just chatting with people they happen to know mid-shift, or taking outside phonecalls on the store phone. Some even have fucking PACKAGES delivered to the store, my manager's kids and husband come in almost every fucking day like an hour before her shift would be up, and sometimes she even does her not-really-door-to-door-but-close-enough sales shtick on company time.

And what takes the cake is when, still yesterday after all that, I was told at the end of the day that I have the choice of a.) taking out ALL the garbage -which is several large boxes worth of packing material and other shit accumulated in the break room-, or b.) vacuuming the whole store because "I missed my turn". Even though people know FULL WELL that I missed that turn because injured my back pretty darn badly (I tore a muscle while stocking, it inflamed to shit, and I could barely move for almost two weeks and had to go on sick leave- really I'm only back because I begged my doctor to let me), and lifting heavy things (like all that garbage) and bending down (which one has to do to vacuum) still causes me a lot of pain and was straight-up forbidden by my doc for at least the rest of the month, lest I cause myself permanent harm. (Not to mention that I was already the one doing the weekly cleaning of the entire glass storefront, by myself, in the morning anyway, while my coworker just counted down the registers and went for a smoke, so... it being "my turn" to clean is kinda subjective, ain't it.)

I'm just.... getting so fed up, and so tired. I'm looking at three days off at the end of April (it just worked out that way with May 1st which is awesome), and tbqh, I don't even have the energy to make plans beyond snuggling up to my boyfriend and sleeping for two days straight.

TL;DR: I'm carrying this whole goddamn store for the same pay as the rest of these slackers, and yet there still seem to be things for which to find fault in me. I'm tired, annoyed, and almost always in pain these days, but I can't allow myself to stop because nobody else gives a shit, they're all hella chummy with each other, and if I do, the place fucking falls apart in a pile of filth.

FML.

[seven-oomen]

Hi, Ben!  I hope your day is going a bit better than yesterday, despite the financial woes.  I spent a large chunk of yesterday trying to pay a bill a day late (because with everything else going on it just kinda snuck up on me and it was past midnight before I realized I’d forgotten it), only to find out I have to now wait until NEXT month’s bill posts and it will combine them, but at that point I can split it into two payments instead of paying two months at once?  Which is really stupid to me, and I don’t know why it won’t just let me pay now, but oh well.  Can’t do anything about it now.

We seem to maybe be past the worst of the storm?  At least, it hasn’t rained or anything all day so far.  The biggest concern by far has been ice build up, because most of what we got was freezing rain and wintry mix.  I’ve included a lovely collage of some of the sights from my adventures taking out trash and trying to remove the ice from my windshield this morning (I figured since I was already dressed and outside anyway, why not have less to do before work tomorrow?)  It wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t involved draping myself across my still ice-coated car to get the middle of the windshield.  I ended up soaking wet from my ribs to almost my knees (yay for being short.)  Also, I didn’t bother looking for my gloves, but then my nails were actually fairly useful for prying up some of the ice, so.  And I’m really kind of digging masks as a scarf alternative.  All the face and breath protection, none of the accidental choking or not staying in place.  (Scarves are pretty and all, but they’re far better on someone like Isaac, who is tall and slender and elegant.  I am none of those things.  XD )  I’m half tempted to reread The Way I Tend To Be or the last couple chapters of If You Want This Dance to not feel like the only one suffering. XD  Although sadly I do not have access to the more successful warming methods present in either of those fics.  XD

And from the looks of it I got about half the descriptions from the links.  Everything else showed fine, I think it was just because those were longer.  And now I definitely feel like Dichali would not be helpful in the least to this overly serious hunter who shows up trying to muscle in on his territory (whether you’re considering it in the literal, figurative, personal, OR professional sense. ;D )  Especially once he realizes that he’s a hunter (no, it doesnt matter how hot he is. XD )  Will Faron know that he’s a wolf when they meet?  (Or will he be suffering from the far more mundane issue of “how are you both so cute, yet so goddamn annoying?!  Fml.” XD )  Will seeing Faron’s interactions with Nate be what helps him realize his own feelings, or will it be something else?  (How will the presence of a new contender affect the betting pool?  XD )  Also, now curious about the other parent of his twins, too.  (I know, I know, I ask that everytime, but I can’t help it.  There’s always so many possibilities, some of which could come back to haunt them [possibly even literally…])  Is he the wolf that was videoed, or was it someone else?  Does he know who it was if it wasn’t him?  Are either of his kids werewolves (or are they too young to know yet?)  Are wolves only born or only made or both in this universe? Also now wondering if Old Faithful is just like an ancient sleeping dragon or something, instead of a regular geyser.

Also, a question occurred to me, and I really, REALLY hope it doesn’t come across wrong, I REALLY don’t mean it to, but if, theoretically, a person’s scent, to a werewolf, if comprised of both things like pheromones and chemosignals, as well as more, uh, physically based, bodily fluid-type scents, if you will, could a werewolf potentially tell if someone is trans by their scent?  (This mostly came from randomly remembering the scene in Pitch Black where Riddick outs the girl who’s been disguising herself as a boy, and then my brain wouldn’t let it go.  Again, I’m really sorry if it comes across weird or offensive in any way.)  And I also wanted to say that if you’d really rather not post any of this stuff (re: your novel) online, you are more than welcome to just email a reply if you want.  I just tend to send stuff this way out of habit.  :D

Glad you liked the DinLuke idea.  It was mostly inspired by a GIFset of scenes of Din not understanding Jedi stuff in the least.  I just figured he’d never be able to fully believe that Luke could just KNOW nothing was there, and, well, no one is supposed to see his face, right?  And he strikes me as just enough of a himbo to completely forget about covering anything else.  One day I will finally see the show, if only to see how correct some of the impressions I’ve formed actually are.  XD

Also, OMG, the “hunters using an adult shop instead of an outdoors/sporting goods shop” thing is brilliant.  And I was thinking of it in regards to TW, because I feel like there’d likely be some classist issues at play there, too.  Like I feel like the Argents would never think to do something like that (well…maybe Kate…), just because they already HAVE all those stockpiles and connections to military-esque supplies, and there’s a certain level of dignity they tend to reinforce (the Winchesters ain’t really all that proud, for all their infamy.)  But then, say, when Noah starts helping Chris with investigating stuff, he’s thinking of all the stuff he’s heard over the years from the vice cops about what they’ve found and seen, and some of the stuff he’s seen on DV calls that turned out to just be neighbors misunderstanding what they were hearing, (and maybe one or two sneaky trips to an out-of-county shop so that he could attempt to be more prepared once Stiles was old enough to start asking questions because he knew it’d probably get weird), so when he decides to stock up on some equipment of his own that’s where he goes, because it’s high quality, specifically designed for what they need, and likely far more affordable.  And the first time Chris sees some of it he thinks it’s both brilliant and kinda hot (and he can’t decide if he wants to know what some of this stuff is actually intended for or not.  Noah is totally willing to help him learn if he’d like. ;D )

Anyway, I’m rambling again.  I hope your day is going as well as it can, and that you’re generally feeling as good as possible.  (And hey, it doesn’t always matter so much if what your eating right now isn’t as healthy as it could be, as long as you’re trying to eat reasonable amounts on a regular schedule to help keep the habit going.  And either way you can always try again.)  Take care, stay warm and stay hydrated!  (I’m not much of a mom friend, but I do my best at being the aunt friend.  XD )  *Hugs to you both!*

Okay, I will email you some stuff since I don’t want to share too much info on Tumblr, but I def want to share a few things.

As for how I’m doing, it’s going okay today. I feel like I accomplished some things with my characters even though I wrote little, but the story and world is a lot clearer and lively in my head. And I know how I want to start this story now.

Physically, I could be better. I got little done physically, and I def had a few moments where I just laid on my couch and couldn’t move. My chessboard has a lot of dark pieces moving to the middle today. It’s a metaphor I have in my house, an actual mini chessboard on my coffee table, where I am the chessboard. The dark pieces are my dark thoughts, and the light pieces are my happy thoughts.

Some days, white moves forward the most. Some days black has the upper hand. But whatever day I have, I am never just the pieces; I am the board and I am the one constant dealing with those pieces. But they are just there, there are never me. Good or bad, they are just pieces. Having the physical element in my home reminds me of that.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent there.

And I definitely get the short problem when having to clean cars, or wearing scarfs. Although I think I pull my green one off relatively well. (I am 5′4 though, so anything long becomes a choking hazard)

The ice is pretty and dangerous though; I guess that’s its duality. But it sucks that everything is so slippery, hope that clears up soon. I think it’s slowly thawing here, so hopefully, my groceries can be delivered properly today. Fingers crossed.

Hope work tomorrow also goes well. Please be careful on the road?

Also, that’s a nice car, looks really reliable. ^^

And I hope that you too will be in better financial waters soon <3 We got this my friend.

And the Mandalorian is soooo good though, I highly recommend it! 

Yeah honestly, I thought that idea was quite brilliant and I kinda feel like putting it in the first draft as well. Though it could definitely work for a lot of TW fics too! 

Noah would be more than happy to teach Chris all about his new toys I’d feel like. And Chris would not mind one bit XD.

[beet-rootesoupevodkabanya]

Post-apocalypse military AU.

The beginning of the end XD. Of course nobody died for real. As a true fairytale it’ll end up fine. Actually it’s still raw... FML. I never stayed up at night even for exames or anything... Snow King can be proud. For his bday I do. X3

Sound of shooting stops accidentally. But now tinkling silence isn't an evidence of the end of the battle or at least of a break. It means only that one more line is over. Nothing to hope on. They are locked here. Not so many. Less the 200 people. Last examples of experienced fighters. Of the 1st breed. Ones who still remember and realize the world before the catastrophe. Enemies could never do it by themselves. But... No connection to other Bases or Safe Zones. Blocked channels. Blocked information supports for using air armor. Emergency ways to escape locked from outside... It's too obvious. Safe Zone thrown them away. To die and let the piece agreement happen. Снежный Король sits on the windowsill. Video security system allows to watch what's going on on other floors. He clicks the lighter and inhales the smoke. The stream of death... General widens the picture. Koshey team. All dead. Through blurred monitor it's still rather obvious. They all did as decided on a short urgent meeting in the beginning of this fight. Killed as many attackers as they could until ran out of cartridges. And left 4 bullets. One for every teammate. Nobody here is going to get captured anyway. Red cloud on the floor. She tried to grow up her hair because her lover always had long and was curious. Now it's almost beautiful. They lay on the floor hugging each other. Bloody carpet is a continuation of Mila's locks. The 4 of them are tangled in her red cloak. The Black Shark could be enough to win even in this unpleasant situation. But it was found broken badly. Traitors weren't able to make it work. This weird thing was unspeakably moody. And could literally kill anyone but Sara who ever tried to drive it. So they simply torn away and took with them some parts. All vans and other heavy technique were out of patrol.

[Good work, fucking piecemakers. Now wait until they invade and ruin that fragile illusion that U call stable daily life.]

Yuuri rushes in. Stupidly giggling and shrugging the blood away from his sword. The ceremonial weapon that isn't supposed to be used in battles... Shere Khan smirks licking the blade of the knife. What are they so agitated about?.. It wasn't even necessary to get into this (meaningless according to the situation) close combat. Werewolf (actually werebear if to be exact) reads his usual cards on the table. No, not tactical. Tarot cards. He frowns and raises eyes on commander. In normally calm beastly depth burns silent panic. It's not a fear of things that happen here. It's about something he reads on the desk. - Sir... They can't say anything. Or better to admit - they can but... I'm unable to read it. I see... But don't understand. - And I don't understand this... - the voice of Snow King is quiet. He wipes the wall with a white bandage. The air around is gloomy because of terminal fire and explosions. The bandage stays clean. General's statement could seem inopportune. But his subordinate knows too well they both are talking about the same phenomenon. - Ask them... - General closes eyes for a moment in strange hopeless hope. - Is it possible we all are dead or something... And the world around us is an illusion. Lieutenant Altyin looks at cards and bitterly waves his head. - Then only one explanation... The physical characteristics of our world had changed. I mean globally. In planetary measures. Or even more... Well... I guess it's better to die without seeing what other gameplays the ecosystem prepared for us... - Victor shrugs shoulders, smiling with a kind of lost expression. He has not enough reasons for this theory. But he feels it, knows by blood and cells. Like he knew where to step and when to shoot in a battle. The knowledge that became sharper day by day. Yuuri leans to his Snow King from behind. His blood-stained hands sneak under the t-shirt. He doesn't ask questions but the black, half-blind abyss of his eyes radiates excitement. As if he is in hurry to share as much happiness with his Yuki no Kami as it's possible for the rest short time. - Sir... - Werewolf's intonations are almost begging. - Sir, promise me... Promise us. U will be...careful... - Eh?! Something funny about our old man there? - Major Plisetsky sits near, wrapping an arm on Beka's shoulders. He snorts but they all know he is worried. Capitan looks in green eyes, intertwining their fingers. Then turns to commander: - Cards say U are surrounded by the love. U're loved, admired... U're the chosen one always. And in our situation this is the last thing that is logical to appear in a prediction. But damn it... I don't even see the death in your future... I see the throne of the world. And I understand nothing... Yuuri sneaks under commander's arm, clinging to him with a puppy-like sound. He doesn't say anything but Snow King knows his sudden fear too well. He caresses boy's lips with a thumb: - We will die together. Today. Here. He explains it reassuringly and a bit tiredly. As an adult talking a child not to be scared of the thunderstorm. Yuuri nods and nuzzles Snow King's shoulder giggling.

The explosion chain is very close.

Снежный leaves the monitor. It's not important anymore. The four of them are the last experienced martials able to go on line. But whatever will happen to the Safe Zone isn't their problem now. He smiles at his teammates. Shortly and bitterly: - Time to go... General takes out the glock. The only one that keeps 4 sacred bullets. No right for a mistake. He nods to Angry Kitty. It's like a selfi. One click and a moment will be kept for the eternity. No time to say a lot to each other. And no need to. Deep inside they all know. Shere Khan grins and winks to Snow King while Beka is suddenly distracted with something on his cards left on the table. (Is it even important what's said there?) Grabs his collar and pulls his friend and partner for a kiss. First real one for them both. Оборотень falls into thin but unexpectedly strong arms staring in green ponds and trying to say something through the tight lean of warm lips.

Bang.

Bang.

Snow King drops the hand with the gun. - Always in vanguard... Шустрый засранец. / Fast little shit. - He mutters it with a short snort. These two had no time to fall on the floor. Yuuri catches them both and puts on the sofa. (He is fast. He became faster during years here.) They lay the way they often did. The way nobody would believe if to say or show a domestic picture. Beka laying on Yurio's shoulder. Kitty always was more a protective and Beka - a supportive one in their tandem. Snow King often laughed at Yurio that they're kicked out from an another fairytale - Beauty and the Beast. And the Beast here is of course Shere Khan. Kitty fizzed and hissed but obviously liked the idea until Оборотень began to mutter that he isn't a decent Beauty even if he is ready to wear a golden dress for his precious Beast. "But it will cause blood from your eyes, believe me..." And Yurio bit and kicked him and yelled: "U are beautiful, fuck my life! I fucking know better." Beka himself mostly laughed that they are more like a forest Witch and Ivan-tsarevich who was tamed by her. Victor often corrected: "Not just tsarevich. More like Иван-дурак/Ivan the dumb..." And Kitty yelled and sniffed until one day he finally resoluted: - Yes, tsarevich, because the son of the King. Yes, дурак, потому что весь в мать/ because like mother, like son." Yuuri fell on the floor laughing first. After some time Beka began to giggle. And only in the evening the realization hit their King too. And he set on the balcony with a cigarette muttering: - Сообразил бля, пизденыш... / What an idea, little shit...

Bullets went through heads but the blood streams down from the wounds, soaking the coach. It's not obvious yet. And seems as if they can wake up any moment. Снежный gets up, walks close and touches the pulse. It's not necessary, but he can't leave it unchecked. Even if everything is obvious. Yurio seems aggressively glad even in his death. He is still short and thin like a girl. He always cursed and promised to grow taller then his commander. He won't. They won't get to know if he would grow tall for real or would stay being this tiny grace. Yuuri cups General's face and smiles. Gently and possessively. Like noone but him ever could: - We'll keep up with them. Snow King sloppily nods pulling his boy closer. The unclear thought is tossing somewhere deep into the brain. But all that hurry, explosions and endless shit don't leave it a chance to be formed. Is it something Beka wanted to say? Anyway there's no time to think about it anymore. He caresses Yuuri's cheek, looks into black abyss and forgets everything. They have less then a couple of minutes. - I'm sorry, малыш... What else to say?... The boy clings to his General with a happy laugh. Rises head looking from beneath and smiles. Mischievously. And playfully. He wants to say he was happy for all these years with him. He was overwhelmed with love to this man since early childhood. Since the first time he saw this the most beautiful face ever. He admired the winter seeing him in every snowflake. Снежный Король filled his entire existence with the meaning and multiple colors even if for others it seemed to the monotonous white. Kay knows better than anyone: only the white keeps all other spectrums and shades. Only in arms of his King and in the middle of the winter desert he felt on the right place. Of course the boy has no time or even suitable words to express it. But Snow King will understand. He always reads it through touches. Yuuri hungrily leans to these soft and tender lips: - I love U. I always wanted to die with U and from your hand. What's more can I wish for? - Stupid kid... - sighs General. It's not obvious from the side but this patronizing tone is flirty. Yuuri, his shy, anxious, naive berserk always was weirdly protective. But not of that annoying type of countless fans who dreamed to see him broken to have a chance to pity him. No. It always was a different protectiveness. Reliable and loyal like walls of your own home. He became the Ivory Tower locking his Sow King in a trap he would rather die then leave. The boy clings closer and deepens the kiss, sneaking under the t-shirt. Sly sparkles in a black abyss become only brighter: - What I really regret - that we don't have time to make love now. I'd be happy to die like this. Victor smiles, digging fingers into dark silk and bites his lip. Yuuri moans, scratching his back under black fabric. Splinters of the northern sky are sad. But tender: - I love U, Kay. Cold steel touches boy's temple. Yuuri smiles leaning to it with that very euphoric expression he always had melting in Snow King's caress.

Frosted finger slowly presses the trigger.

So familiar, so loved body turns into a heavy doll falling into arms of it's master. Victor slowly lays his boy on the floor near the windowsill. They often set there in winter hugging each other and sharing one cigarette in a stupid hope the smoke will be blown away into the open window. Legs are heavy... Too heavy to go with Yuuri to the better place. And... It's fine like this. The entire world drowns into a crimson mist. It begins from boy's temple and wraps his King and everything around into the tightest embrace without a way to set yourself free. But he never ever wanted to get out of it anyway. General Snow King checks up the heartbeat in Yuuri's chest. Silent. He leans to still warm but motionless lips, blindly turns on the final countdown on a self-destruction system. And presses the trigger, aiming into silver locks. Snow King falls on the chest of his Kay. Blood stained lips of the boy still keep a shadow of a smile.

[cuddlingpasta]

13 Reasons OH GOD WHY WAS THIS MADE

FUUUUCKING LORD. So many trigger warnings guys especially w sexual assault and mental health issues.

I can’t begin to talk about this without starting angry because holy shit theres so much wrong. I was initially sent this by someone who thought I’d appreciate the fact it was a bit bad so I’m gonna start with the good things about it as they’re limited.

Premise: It’s okay, the premise is fine, its a little bit I dont know forced and pretentious and even a little insensitive but frankly its not that bad so I’m putting this in the good category.

General message/moral: Dont be a shitty person. Treat people nicely and dont talk about them behind their back. It also has a subtext about how rape is viewed by people when deciding whether they were raped or not and frankly like the rape issues are a whole separate thing but this subtext is actually fine imo (pls someone tell me if I’m wrong). They hint very strongly at the fact that people only see rape as what it is if the victim says no, if they were sober etc. The show hints at the idea that its more complicated than that which is good.

Technical: The camera work is okay, like its industry standard cant complain. I’m a filmmaker like I get this, this is about it though everything else in technical has problems.

Diversity: You tried and I’ll give you it, various POC characters often not with stereotypes which has pros and cons to, gay and lesbian representation, not very good rep of the LG characters given but not the worst but i’ll go into that.

OKAY THATS IT THATS ALL I CAN SAY ONTO THE BAD

Technical: FUCKIN SOUND HOLY SHIT. PLEASE. Atmosphere is so goddamn important and it was crazy noticeable to me at least that atmosphere had super hard cuts at times. I’m being pedantic. This legit doesnt matter in the grand scheme but that’s why I’m putting it at the beginning of the bad.

Writing: Did a 40 year old spend a week on the internet and try write this? In the second episode they say FML. No one says the fucking acronym holy shit. Also just how the kids talk its like aight sure some kids could talk like that but generally nah. Also the insensitivity of the #NeverForget scene right at the start like maybe sometimes happens but its so jarring in this scene because you can tell its just a throwaway thing to go “fuck millennials” and its like please just stop this broken record.

On Pretentiousness: I’m super pretentious okay, like tapes, records, etc like sign me the fuck up but this goes back to the millennials suck sentiment where Hannah uses tapes and physical maps because “google cant help you with this” or whatever like??? fuck man stop its so awfully written and its fake as hell. I get the reasonings sort of, but, at the same time those reasons are so tenuous to the plot and easily gotten around. The whole thing is trying really hard to be Perks of Being a Wallflower and fucking bombing hard.

On sexuality: You deal with it...sort of? You have various gay characters one of whom’s entire subplot is based around the fact. Another who feels like he plays into this whole straight idea of what gay people are like and uses good old ‘faggot’ in it because “I can use it, you can’t” and its just sort of like ehhh its all so forced. Then Tony coming out is actually....not the worst, its hinted at a couple times and Clay’s complete misinterpretation of it is hilarious to me bc its accurate representation of straight people. However I feel like they made Tony gay PURELY so he could have this whole “Oh I wouldnt want to bang hannah anyway” thing going like??? Please dont do this guys his sexuality is worth more than to aid the story of a (bi? is it ever explored or is Hannah just a straight girl who got w a girl once?) white girl.

On sexual assault: I’ve never been sexually assaulted, I’m not an expert on the topic, I fight for what I can when it comes to these issues but I wont pretend I am an expert. From a filmmaking point of view the rape scenes were...almost too graphic, generally they should make you feel uncomfortable, its not a comfortable situation or one you want to watch, but this felt almost too much. While its good to talk about these issues I feel they went about it in not the best way. I dont want to say more on this because it was fucking harrowing having to watch that, which christ its a harrowing event but i dont know if that is too much or not, I can’t say.

Onto Mental Health: This is where it gets more complicated and frankly I can barely put into words how I feel about it. The whole premise becomes vindictive in a way which sure goes with the morals to an extent but whatever like they almost turn  hannah into a villain in a  way instead of her being treated as a victim. It all happened very quickly, I mean the events on the tapes were over what a year total? but the decision to commit suicide was like two days and from a personal standpoint and from what I know of friend’s feelings and experiences with mental health, this just isnt the way it happens. Frankly I dont even want to talk about this anymore, the whole thing treats mental health as a thing caused by events rather than chemical imbalance and while traumatic events certainly fuck you up it never treats it as that until the very last two episodes and then its all over. The suicide scene. Oh god the suicide scene. Fucking. Horrible. There was absolutely no need. It was too brutal. I understand from a nuerotypical filmmaker point of view why this is good. But from a mentally ill filmmaker, no. This was so unnecessarily brutal, close up, and needless. If anything this could do more harm than good. I dont think I want anyone to watch this show for all the reasons above but mostly because of the suicide scene because I know how it made me feel and its not that great i’ll tell you.

This show sucked ass but has a good hook and honestly I’m pissed that to an extent I enjoyed it.