#anyway 3 jojos down i got 6 more to go

[fexrox]

tears are worth their weight in gold

(happy new year!!!)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - lots, just LOTS

I thought I would be pretty lean reporting for Oct 2023 but then (for reasons relayed here) the weeklies got saved by a drunk avenging hacker in a hotel room.

Oct 2023 Wk 1

Except I still can't watch IFYLITA, because I use my other computer for it.

Gotta say though, watching tese mostly all in one day (for travel reasons) is beyond even my BL superpowers. I did my best tho.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Sailom, sweetie, Kang is never sleeping alone again. It wasn't really translated, but Kang's way of speaking in that opening stinger was VERY cutsie. Also the gay sheets have made another appearance. I do have to say that "rich kid problems" is not my favorite story arc, but I still think this is a great Thai BL.

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 6 of 8 - I love that they are finally talking to each other but Yi’s whole personality is shifting. Honestly, this pair is great at kissing and casual touches, but the friendships are the best thing about this franchise. Also Mr Chenne remains my fav character. But where did Diao's baby superhero team come from? And why? This show is very confusing... It’s also not very good.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) You Are My Soulmate ep 7 - This was the one of the series I was looking forward to the most, because silly, pretty, and v BL. It is, in fact all those things and nothing more. So I'm enjoying it, of course.

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I like it, but it feels like it's gonna be so sad. I'm having Promise and Dew the movie flashbacks. Plus 12 eps seems too long for this narrative thread. I am worried.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 6 of 10 eps - This show is so slow it's hardly worth the bandwidth, but we attained "baby is a floppy drunk" and thus a finger bite frustration scene, which was nice.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 9 of 10 (not a BL but I'm watching it anyway) - Ray is so mean to Sand. The not-a-thing with Sand & Nick was cute. I’ve had several experiences like that. All my queer friendship groups tend to be incestuous, but sometimes they're just too much of a sibling and trying to sleep with them is the most unsexy thing in the universe. To be fair, I’ve also been in Ton’s position (this ep). Jojo sure makes queer shizz. But also, Ton must have a magic rod with everyone wanting a repeat. (I'm so glad they put Neo in this role, no one else at GMMTV could play him as complex or sympathetic.)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 5 of 10 - now officially known by me as "I'm too sunshine for this seme" where our boss is being hella obvious but our cinnamon roll is just too ooey-gooey to notice. Al.though, baby boy, he takes you home, sleeps on top of you, feeds you cookies (IN HIS BED) and keeps you in his space? Surely even this sunshine is catching a few rays of truth?

Gaga's *unintelligible gay murmuring* is my favorite caption EVER.

Also the name of my new ASMR YT channel.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 3-4 of 8 - ah gay panic, also what is Korea's obsession with 7 year separations? Is it only true love if you wait 7 years? Dohoon is SUCH a flirt, it's kinda great! Also, since it's Korea, we got us a bit of a love triangle with 2 hyung romances, so I (of course) am torn. Either way Dohoon is going down. I do love how much time we are spending with the food in this drama, finally one that lives up to its name. On an entirely different note, Korean camping is the most bizare thing to me. It's SO damn civilized. There will be NO DIRT. They pack blow torches. And full dinner sets. Every time I see it in a drama, I'm amused.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - OMG these 2 are so in love with each other, and so ridiculous about it. They're tiny idiots but I love them.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings.

I like the odd Japanese mature-childishness in this one. Plus a broken sunshine who is out in a kind of aggresive way and an instinctive caring seme. What's not to love? Well, it's Japan I'm sure it will surprise me one way or another.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 3 of ? - the cray cray step brother quazi incest is a bit much for me. Why does VBL just suddenly get so unhinged like this?

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 9 of 13(?) - resumes next week

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch 8-12 and do a series review when I get back in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - I will complete and drop a review in Nov.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. I find thie series more fun to binge, som I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

In case you missed it?

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) Apparently ended its run I DNFed this at ep 3. So no review from me.

My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - Play it again Sam, only I'm kinda tired of this song. I was v dramatic tho. And it's always nice to be reminded JBL can kiss when it puts its mind to it. 8/10

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

10/? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I've seen this Chinese drama like... no wait... okay it's like EVERY Chinese drama ever.

(both Mr Cinderella 2)

I only got to watch this scene and the bath, but bot were pretty darn good! I Feel You Linger in the Air

There's only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway. One of BL's oddest tropes.

I do love a finger bite. (both Venus in the Sky)

Good advice

(Naughty Babe)

(Last week) 

[fellow-traveller]

This is gonna be long, so if you don't have the time to read it, it's cool, I'll summarise it like this:

I think I'm back. Kinda. Expect some blasts of Hol Horse fanart that I missed sharing here since November 2023 (if you followed my Twitter/X, you might have seen them)

Okay, I know excuses can be bad but here's mine to kinda justify my absence.

I admit that I had been feeling depressed with what's happening in P@lest1ne for the past 6 months, because I had never seen it happening in real time, in videos and interviews. 20+ years ago, anything about them came in the form of stories from actual P@lest1nians whom I had the privilege to meet during my volunteer work in school, and newspaper articles from local publishers. Our local broadcasters still chant FTRTTS whenever they talk about them. But the real-time atrocities and the aftermath really got me hard. I'm not one to shy away from real-life gore - true crime is my go-to documentary whenever I'm relaxing - but what's happening there - the injustice, the brutality, the depravity - can be too much for me to bear.

I'm not saying I'm used to it by now...I still hear my heart break with every dead and hungry child I see on my screen, but at the same time, I feel a bit more hopeful. Mainly because I believe in the P@lest1nians' faith and resilience, and I believe in mine.

Apart from world events, on a personal level, my company moved to a new building in December, about an extra 30 minutes drive away from my home, so I was almost on a blackout from online stuff back then. Didn't even touch the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse challenge (but thankfully they are done now...will share them later). The move-out was done around the end of January 2024, and then I got busy again with work in February. Work had been very hectic because everything had been disorganised since the move. Even now, we don't really have internet in the new building and had to use our phone data for that.

Wanted to get back last month, but delayed it until today because my cat was sick with cancer. My cat, little Vee, whom I had for 12 years, just passed 2 days ago, 1 day before my birthday ;-;

Anyway, all that said, I think I'm ready to be back now on tumblr. I know I missed a lot of drawings that I kinda promised myself to finish (like the Halloween Hol), and also posting the 1 Day 1 Hol Horse doodles. I missed other people's Hol Horse and HolPol fanart as well. I also have a few thoughts I wanted to share of our favourite JoJo cowboy too...

So in the next few hours, I'll be doing just that. I apologise for the massive spam that's about to come beforehand. Just note that if you cannot wait for the fanart blast, you're welcomed to dig for them on my Twitter/X.

On current notes, I'm in the middle of doing The Emperor Month Challenge. Basically, Hol Horse with the other Part 3 characters. I missed 2 days now, but I'll be catching up. This will be on until the end of this month.

For now, I won't be doing requests/art trades because I wanna start drawing for my JoJo OCs. I have been neglecting them for months.

Hopefully the depression will simmer down. The world is a mess, and I'm trying to soldier on.

Oh, and to my Muslim followers, Happy Eid-ul-Fitr. ♥

[scolpimpisdiary]

Duwang Gang Parenting HeadCanons!

What would the Duwang Gang be like as Parents?

Josuke Higashikata

NAH CAUSE HE’D BE THE SWEETEST DAD

He’d probably have the most kids imo, 5-6 max. I can see him being a family man

If Josuke has a girl, SHE WILL BE A DADDY’S GIRL.

But if they’re not, he’d still love them just as much!

I can literally imagine Josuke picking up his children from preschool and just showering them with hugs and kisses

Would heal the little one’s boo boos with Shining Diamond and play it off as a magic trick

Much like Okuyasu, he has no problem letting his lil Jojo know that he loves them

Josuke would be slightly less affectionate as they get older tho, since they’re maturing (but that doesn’t mean he loves them any less!)

Let’s be honest, once social media becomes mainstream he’d probably make one right before his children

Yes, he’d follow his kids on the social media he does have, being one of their first followers which is lowkey adorable

I can imagine Josuke trying to be the “hip” parent that just wants to fit in with his kids

I could already see Josuke trying to help little Jojo with their math problems, but then getting lowkey frustrated and just ends up doing the assignment for them

“If I have five apples and you eat two, how many apples do I have left?”

“Five!”

“Never mind, just gimme the paper..”

He would definitely be ready to discipline them if needed, though. As much as Josuke loves them, he isn’t a pushover. Probably not allowing them to leave the house/go to parties or making them clean when they aren’t at school are enough in this case.

Even so, Josuke holds his children very dear to him, even more than his pompadour. If someone says or hints at anything negatively regarding his child, he’d be ready to kill them

Like that time he tried to choke out lil jojo’s math teacher for saying that their grades are dropping in the class

That day was the day Y/N was made the designated parent for any future parent teacher conferences

Okuyasu Nijimura

He would definitely be a very laid back dad!

You know, the dad that has cookouts almost every week and invites his friends over to watch sports? He’d be one of those

I could imagine that he’d probably struggle with his children when they were younger though. His parenting style is more hands-off and constantly caring for a little human 24/7 would probably drain the hell out of a man like him.

I don’t think that would discourage Okuyasu from having more kids tho, he’d probably still enjoy the process of raising a child even though it’s time consuming

Definitely a very kind and supportive father, and isn’t afraid to show love for his kids (hugging, “i love you”s, saying he’s proud of them, etc)

I can imagine both him and Josuke making goofy tiktoks with their children

He will REFUSE to help them with their homework though, that task is left up to Y/N

And if he does end up on homework duty, he’d most likely half-ass it

“If I got five apples, and you ate two, how much apples do I have?”

“..I dunno.”

“Eh, that’s good enough! Write that down and you’re done!”

Would probably have 4-5 children max, slightly less than Josuke

Rohan Kishibe

Let’s just say his children would be DRIPPY

Nah cause they’d be wearing Louis Vouittons at the age of 3 ✋🏾

Rohan would definitely be tough on his lil Kishibe bean but only because he wants them to be successful in life like he was

ESPECIALLY when the tiny Kishibe reaches their school years. (I do feel like it would get to his head though, maybe even causing him to place unrealistic standards onto his kid)

He wouldn’t allow his children to play with Josuke’s kids, but they’d sneak out to go and play together anyways

Rohan would definitely help them with their art projects, which they’d always get an A on

YES HE WILL HANG THEIR ART UP ON THE FRIDGE LIKE THE PROUD DAD HE IS

I also imagine him being really good at math for some reason??

Would probably get frustrated during homework time with his kid

“Now if I have five apples, and you were to eat two, how much would I have left?”

“..one?”

*insert angry Rohan grumbles*

“NOW IF I HAVE FIVE APPLES-“

Rohan would have an easier time caring for them while they’re a baby or toddler, compared to when they’re older mainly because they can’t talk back

I can also imagine that because of the whole Kira incident he’d be very helicopter-ish (yes, he’d have life 360 installed on his child’s phone)

He would be stricter with punishments, taking toys away from them or when they get older, their smartphones (maybe he’d even make them delete their social media accounts)

Once social media starts to become popular, I could definitely see him criticize it heavily when he see’s Y/N or his children use it

“Back in my day we didn’t have tiktok or Instagram! All of that is just faux garbage! Kids these days need to go out and experience reality!”

I could literally imagine all the arguments he’d get into with his horomonal green-haired teenage kid while poor Y/N is stuck between the two trying to break it up. It’d be WW3 in the Kishibe household😭

He wouldn’t be the type of dad to physically express his love often. But he would express it in subtle ways, like buying them things or quietly congratulating them

Plus if his kids are in any type of danger, be ready to see Rohan dashing to the rescue. Both him, Josuke, and Yukako DO NOT play when it comes to their children

Rohan wouldn’t have a lot of children, 2 max, and they’d probably be farther apart in age (5-6 years apart)

Yukako Yamagishi

She’d definitely be the strictest with punishments, and would probably utilize all forms of discipline mentioned so far

She would also put a lot of academic pressure on her children, but actually taking the time to properly study with them and help them memorize things for tests so they’d be well prepared

“Look sweetie, if I have five apples and you’ve eaten two, how much would I have left?”

“Umm..three?”

“Good job! I knew you could do it!”

Yukako’s child was the only one that got it right btw

Yukako would definitely have a soft spot for her kids though, making them cute lunches to take to school and show off, putting cute little letters on the lunch boxes and greeting them with assorted homemade sweets when they came from school

She’s also very physically expressive with her love, showering her children in hugs and kisses on the cheek even when they’re older

(It makes them very flustered, which Yukako deems to be adorable)

She would DEFINITELY try to give her children advice on their crushes (which may or may not fail miserably and result in a traumatized crush)

I could also see Yukako being one of those insta moms that post pictures of her food and children all the time (even when they’re older)

Probably has already had some form of social media before it became mainstream

I can see her also following her children on social media, mainly for nosy reasons (which Y/N has to talk her out of)

Even though Yukako can be a strict mother, she truly cares for her children deep down and would definitely cut a bitch if they possibly threatened her children’s safety

She’d probably have an average amount of children, 3 to be exact. But I think Yukako is probably one of the only ones to not have a specific limit on how many kids she wants

Koichi Hirose

Honestly? Koichi gives me chill uncle vibes rather than dad vibes

Like I genuinely feel that the Duwang kids would just use his house as a hangout spot and vibe as he tells the story of how him and their parents defeated a serial killer all the way back in the 90s

Josuke and Okuyasu’s kids would probably just giggle in disbelief

Yukako’s kid would just shrug their shoulders “sounds like something my mother would do”

and Rohan’s kid would probably have more respect for their dad after, and the most input. His kid is a chatterbox unlike him

The Duwang kids would DEF look up to him

If he were to be a dad, he’d definitely spend a lot of the time traveling with his child and seeing different parts of the world

Koichi would probably have the least kids, maybe just one

He wouldn’t spoil or punish his children much, but would probably go on a long exaggerated lecture about whatever they did and why it’s wrong.

I could see him teaching his kid a different language or different things about the world rather than formal education (IK THAT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT STILL)

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 21. brb x oc

a/n: hello hello guys. Well, yesterday was a bit intense and I apologize, my anxiety went through the roof. But anyway, this is just a little comment that if you guys don't want to see my fic in...any tag, pls block me. i won't be upset!! I don't want to ruin anyone else's fun! This fandom has been amazing to me and I want everyone else to have the same experience <3

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff,anxiety shows up and makes bea feel bad

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! )

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@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07

-

They arrive home almost at six in the morning, absolutely exhausted and barely able to keep upright to remove their clothes. Neither put on their pajamas, they just fell asleep wearing their underwear, face still stained with make up as they fell asleep immediately as their heads touched the pillows.

It was exactly like time didn’t passed when they woke up, the sun was high in the sky but honestly it could be either two hours after they got to bed, Beatrice couldn’t figure it out. She just groaned, rubbing her make up covered face on the white pillow cases without really thinking about it, tapping her hand on the nightstand until she found her phone. Rooster’s head was nestled right on the curve of her shoulder, his soft breathing touching her skin as she grabbed the phone.

After squinting for a few seconds because of the luminosity she finally could check the time…and her eyes widened immediately. It was eleven in the morning, which meant that they only had a few minutes to get ready and meet her parents, “Shit. Roos!” she tries to get up but like always his hold on her is too tight for her to move and Beatrice groans, “Rooster, we have to wake up!”

“A few more minutes…”

“Handsome,I love you and I’d love to stay but if we don’t we’re going to get bombarded by my mother as to why we are late.” she explains the best she could, prying his arms from around her with some difficulty and a lot of voiced complaining from her still sleeping husband. She turns to look at the pillowcase with a frown seeing that her makeup was just smeared all over it, “God damn it.” 

“Bea…” he tries again, reaching for her hand but she’s already up, “Baby.”

“And I had to sleep in a bra? Why do I hate my boobs so much?” was what he heard once she’s away from him, hurried footsteps disappearing into their ensuite bathroom. He groans, finally pushing himself to his elbows and running a hand on his sleep messed up hair the best he could, blinking his eyes hard before he rolled onto a seated position.

He could hear the shower running and Beatrice just murmuring to herself as how she just had to wake up late before they had lunch with her parents, “Baby do you want me to give Jojo her breakfast?” he asks from the door, giving his reflection a double take when he sees the purple eyeshadow he used under his eyes was now all gone.

“Please, Brad? I need to get ready quickly.”

He didn’t spend too much time watching her silhouette - as much as he wanted to - because his brain was working now, he remembered what they were going to do that morning and eventually stepped back to reach Jolene downstairs. The dog mama was already awake, sitting in front of her silver bowl licking her maw with her tail tapping on the floor, “Hey there mama.” he says sweetly, leaning down to pet her head, “How are you doing today?”

Jolene growls out a response, then whines with her paws tapping while she’s still seated, anxious to have her first meal of the day. Now that they knew Jolene was pregnant, they had to add more nutrients to her diet - and add a bit more food because well, she’s growing puppies inside of her. He leans down to pet her head, Jolene looking at him expectantly after he pours the dog food in her bowl, the two sharing a look, “Okay,go.” and she dives in, crunching the food with so much gusto he almost felt like he was intruding her private time. 

When he turns back to their room he could hear Beatrice moving about hurriedly, muttering to herself what she could use for lunch, and once he stepped in he saw her holding at least five different outfits in her arms, holding each one in front of her body and tossing it to the armchair by the side of the room, “Oh my God, I don’t know what to wear! How’s the weather outside??”

He took one look out of their window, crossing his arms over his chest, “...not too chilly,I think.’

“...then I can use a dress- no, maybe cotton pants?”

“Bea,” she looks up at him with her eyes wide, “Why are you so nervous? It’s not only because of us being late, is it?”

She stands there, holding the clothes in her arms with a frown still present “...I don’t know, I guess, they are going to bombard us with questions Roos.” she begins, “About…what we plan to do.”

Ah.

Rooster smiles, stepping closer to Beatrice and kissing the top of her head, gently taking the clothes from her arms, ‘Gorgeous, it’s fine.” she makes a noise in her throat, almost in disbelief. “It will be fine, you know we dealt with worse before.”

Beatrice knew, she knew he was right but her anxiety was slowly crawling up her arms, her legs, her spine like a bunch of spiders ready to bite and leave her completely unconscious. She remembers Evelyn’s words about how this was about them and no one else. There is nothing more that could be done, especially because she would be the one getting pregnant not anyone else.

“Also,” he picks one of the outfits, “I like this dress for you.” it was a light pink one with tiny blue flowers and billowing sleeves that showed her shoulders. A very peasant like top and flowy bottom. Beatrice smiles up at him, thankfully and he leans down to kiss her lips, “I’m going to shower, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” and he kisses her again, humming happily against her mouth before he finally steps back. Beatrice holds the dress he suggested with her left hand while her right arm keeps the rest of the folded outfits close to her chest. She sighs, sitting down on the bed with her eyes turned downwards, she knew he was right and she knew she had the power to prevent this anxiety from showing up.

But there it was.

She hated how much power her anxiety still had on her and that even that it was better to handle than before she still couldn’t really get rid of it, it was still there, still present in every situation. It had gotten a lot better from years ago, her therapy sessions have been helping it so much but she just didn’t want to worry so much, she didn’t want to worry about what her parents would say to them especially. 

“…I’ll be fine.” She whispers to herself “I'll be fine. I can handle this.” Even if her stomach was cramped with nerves, even if she could feel her heart beating a bit faster and her breathing get quicker, she could do it. She had to do it. She was an adult now, she was married, she had a job and a good life with Bradley.

She could handle whatever would be thrown their way.

-

Beatrice waits outside her parents house for Bradley to join her, she could hear voices from inside, more than her parents “Leo is there.” She announces when he steps closer to her “And Michael, he probably picked them all up with his car.” She gestures to the red truck parked not too far from them “My parents didn’t say they would be there.”

“Well, with their new granddaughter being born it’s understandable why they’d want that.” He smiles, placing a hand on her lower back and looking down at her face “You okay?”

“I’m mentally preparing myself.” She murmured as the two walked up the stairs to the front door where the voices got louder and the dog barking more prominent “For whatever they will ask us.”

Bradley chuckles, kissing the side of her head “I’m with you here.” He reassured her, interlacing their hands together and giving it a gentle squeeze “It'll go smoothly.” 

She offered him a small smile, mentally hoping it’d go that way without her parents questioning when the next row of grandchildren was coming. Before Beatrice could even press the doorbell, she saw three heads appearing on the window, two of them huge and resembling Jolene and one being blonde with big green eyes. 

Bianca squealed so loudly it scared the dogs, she rushed to the door where they could hear her struggling to open before eventually doing so, yanking it open hard enough to make it hit the wall behind it. Her squealing continued, running out of the house to first hug her aunt and then immediately run to Rooster. Beatrice didn’t mind, especially because Bianca took Rooster as one of her favorite people from the second they met.

And watching him pick her up and let her latch onto his neck like a little monkey was precious and only added tithe growing baby fever inside of her. He was so good with kids, it was unfair. Bianca happily told them that her parents were there, and Michael was there and her little sister was there! And now she was happy they got there too! “Nonna is making spaghetti! I helped!”

“Did you Bibi?” Beatrice questions with a grin, holding her niece's smaller hand when she reaches over, Rooster already settles the blonde girl on Beatrice’s arms and they felt it’d be a back and forth for a while “Are they all outside?”

“Yes!“

Her niece wriggles in her arms like a worm trying to escape a hook, proceeding to slide from under her aunt’s arms onto the floor when Beatrice lowers her down enough. She runs outside, letting everyone know that they were there by screaming ‘PRINCE ROOSTER AND AUNT BEA ARE HERE!!’ 

“She’s never going to call me uncle, is she?”

“Probably not.” she chuckles, “Does it bother you?”

“How many people can say their uncle is royalty, gorgeous? I’d do the same thing.” he replies quickly, giving Beatrice a wink as he once again took hold of her hand, the two walking to the double doors that led to the patio, “Oh it smells so good here.”

And as if by magic, Claudia shows up by the kitchen door, wearing an apron with the writings ‘your opinion is not in the recipe’ wiping her hands on a napkin with her eyes widening and mouth parting in a gasp, “Tesoro! Bambino! Oh!” she tosses the napkin away and rushes to them, immediately wrapping her arms around their necks to bring them down to her stature, “Oh you two came, oh I am so happy,” she then kisses their cheeks over and over, “Come on in, come on in, did your father opened the door for you?”

“Oh, uh, no mama it was Bibi actually, didn’t you hear her screaming that we arrived?” but with the soft music coming from the kitchen it was obvious that she didn’t, so Beatrice let that slide. 

“She’s been very active since her little sister was born, now, go wait outside.” Pomodoro and Marinara stood on each side of them wagging their tails as if they were the guardians leading them to Valhalla, “And I’ll bring lunch shortly, okay?”

“Sure,mama.” Beatrice watches her mother disappear back into the kitchen and then turn to Rooster, “We better go before someone else carries us out.”

“Michael, probably.”

Beatrice laughs with the two of them finally arriving at the patio and her hand broke free from Rooster’s when suddenly her husband was just lifted from the ground by a very happy Michael who carried the tall pilot as if he weighed less than nothing, “Bradley!” he shouts, “My favorite brother in law,-”

“Everyone is your favorite,Mikey.”

‘Shut up,Leo.” Michael’s face drops for a second only to smile back at his brother in law, “I have a beer set and ready for you, bro. I’m going to get it.” He puts Bradley back down, who honestly is still shocked that he was picked up by Michael, only saying a quiet thanks as he regains his bearings.

Beatrice stands on the side, smiling at him, only for her father to get up and greet the two, “Tesoro.” he pecks her forehead then hugs her, “Bradley.” and the pilot is quickly back on his feet, clasping Rafael’s hand before he was tugged into a hug himself, the older man patting his upper back fondly, “I half expected you to not to come.”

“Well,” Beatrice smiles at her husband when he pulls the chair for her, thanking him under her breath as she adjusts her body on the soft chair, “We were at a party last night and we lost a bit of time. But we’re here now!” she smiles, looking around for a bit, seeing that Michael handed Bradley a frosty beer bottle and was laughing with him at a distance and Leonardo was alone, “Where’s Cyn?”

“She’s in my old room, changing Éwoyn.”

“She poops a lot auntie!” Bianca grinned, standing on her seat and leaning her hands over the table to bounce on the soft cushion of her chair, “She poops sooooo much!”

Beatrice smiles, the difference of Bianca in relation to her little sister was great and very welcome to see. She feels more than sees Rooster sit down next to her, asking her if she wanted a beer herself and Beatrice paused, her stomach churning just at the thought, “Oh, no, I think I’ll keep with juice today.” she says, “I think I’m a bit iffy with alcohol lately.”

Cue to his brown eyes turning worried, setting the beer down with a slight frown, “Everything okay? Are you feeling sick?”

“Not sick, I think it’s just my body asking to have a break from alcohol that’s all. Working at the bar and such, maybe the smell is getting to me a little bit.” her stomach churns again just thinking about it, but she doesn’t feel the sickness for too long. Bradley keeps his eyes on her for a second more, then grabs her hand to kiss the back of it just in time for Cynthia and Éwoyn to come back. 

Their little niece was sleeping peacefully in Cynthia’s arms, the blonde woman greeting the two quietly and then showing Éwoyn just a little bit before sitting down, setting her on the little bassinet they brought along. Beatrice’s heart churned with the need to have that same feeling while telling herself that at the same time she should just wait.

She should wait, her period would come later this month and it’d be fine! They could always try again and again. When Claudia shows up with lunch and everyone is more than eager to have it, Beatrice also refuses the glass of wine her mother offered, the thought yet again making her feel a bit sick but it passes as soon as she takes the wine bottle away.

Both women meet eyes and she could see in her mother’s gaze the question she couldn’t wait to pester her with, the little obvious ‘ I got you’ smile never faltering when she walked away and Beatrice gulped quietly, clenching her eyes “Damn it.” she mutters under her breath, trying to appear casual and not how her anxiety was slowly, slowly making it’s way back up her spine, about to dig its claws on her back.

Rooster kept his eyes on Beatrice as she ate, every now and again he’d cover the hand on top of the table and rub the side of it with his thumb, just a touch of reassurance for her to remember that she wasn’t alone and her fingers that were curled up tightly immediately unclenched under his hold. 

Her parents often sent looks their way, then to one another as if they knew something they didn’t or they assumed they did and honestly, Rooster didn’t plan on asking about it yet.

But as the lunch went on, eventually his deployment tomorrow morning was brought up, “When are you coming back, bambino?” Claudia asks as she places another serving on his plate, making it even bigger than the first one because in her mind he needed the extra nutrients before leaving.

“Beginning of February ma’am, at best.” he thanks her when she hands him back the plate, letting out a quiet whistle at how much food was in there, “It’ll be a short one this time.” he smiles, “And I’ll keep in contact with Bea during that time, so that’ll help.”

Rafael takes a sip of his wine before speaking, “How long have you been in the Navy, son? I don’t think I ever asked you that.”

“Over ten years now.” 

“Over ten years?” Rafael repeats, with a disbelieved laugh, “Dio santo, that’s a long time.”

Rooster laughs softly, “It honestly went by so quickly I barely noticed it.” he explains, twirling the spaghetti just like Beatrice taught him too, seeing her little smile grow large at the movement, “Hard to believe it’s been so long.”

Rafael nods, chewing his own bite while keeping his eyes on his son in law, leaning his chin on his interlaced hands, “Well, at least you’ll be back sooner rather than later huh? I’d hope so considering you two got married barely a few weeks ago.”

“If there was a way for me to extend my honeymoon when it came to deployment I certainly would,sir.” and he gives Beatrice a small grin, one that she reciprocates with a light red blush dusting over her cheeks, “But we make do.”

“Oh,I’m sure of it.” Rafael says, “And I know you two will enjoy the time once you are back. Keep things working.”

Both of them looked at Beatrice’s father with their brows furrowed, Beatrice’s lips parting in a question that took a while to come out, “What do you mean,papa?”

“Well,I’m just saying that things move. And things happen.” his eyes briefly darted down to his daughter’s stomach and Beatrice wanted to die “We’ll all be ready for it.”

Beatrice bites her lower lip so hard she could swear she tasted blood, inhaling deeply so she could calm down her heart. It’s about them not anyone else, it’s them first and their families second, that’s how it will be, that’s how it’s going to go ,’I’m sure,papa. But there’s much to be done.” and she looks towards Bradley to speak with her eyes that this was the conversation she was fearing, “Especially because we are planning a lot of things too.” and she’d leave at that, if her parents wanted to question her about it even more she was going to shut it down.

She also didn’t want to have Rooster leave home with the weight of a future child that wasn’t even there yet, no, he was leaving and he was going to be okay and he’d come back and then they’d work on it. It’s that simple.

Rafael and Claudia shared another look, then chuckled quietly but eventually stopped the conversation short before they could ask more. Beatrice was extremely thankful when Bianca started talking about her little sister, so much that everyone’s focus was on them until Michael gently poked Bradley’s arm, “Hey, Brad.” he begins once they were done with lunch, “Can we chat for a bit?”

“Uh, sure?” he gives Bea a quick peck to the lips and follows Michael inside the house, his wife looking over her shoulder until he disappeared from her view. Rooster was still holding the beer bottle alongside Michael’s as they got to the living room, far away from the rest of the family, “What’s up?”

Michael laughs quietly, digging a hand into his pocket, “Well, just wanted to check on ya.” he shrugs, “Because I don’t know if you noticed by the FBI agents outside are desperate for information about you and Bea.”

“Oh, oh yeah,I noticed that.” Bradley says, tilting the bottle to his lips to take a sip, “We’re okay though.”

“I know you are, but hey, as your brother in law - the best one - I just wanted to give you a heads up,” his smile drops for a second, “They are wonderful people, my parents but they have no idea how to deal with Beatrice sometimes. She’s still their baby and now, with the option that she will have a baby herself, they’ll hound you two down until it happens. Because they want something to take care of.”

Bradley furrows his eyebrows, “But,” he looks back in the direction of the patio doors, “But they just got a new grandchild.”

Michael arched one of his brows as if to say ‘and?’ “That’s not enough. They want a lot of grandchildren and they always acted like that in every single pregnancy.” he explains, “Listen, it took me years to make them understand I wasn’t going to give them grandchildren so now they double down on my siblings. And you.” Michael shrugs yet again, “It’s the Italian need for a big family, or maybe that’s just my family. Who knows, they are all weird…what I’m trying to say is…you two already have a lot on your plates, do not let my parents force their ideas on you if you guys aren’t ready.”

The pilot just looks at the other man with his lips parted but he was expecting that, he had the conversation with Beatrice, “I know.” he then says after a while giving Michael a small grin, ‘I know, Mike. But I appreciate it nonetheless.”

“Hey, it’s what I’m here for. No one thinks I have good advice but I always do.” he snorts, swirling the amber liquid inside the bottle for a few seconds, “We better go back outside, before my mother comes and drags us back there.”

Bradley smiles, about to follow Michael out when he stops, right where he could see the picture of a young Bea, this one was new he hadn’t seen it during Christmas, sitting at the beach in front of the waves with her hands digging into the sand. Were his eyes playing tricks on him? Because the little Bea here looked a lot like the little girl he saw in Palermo weeks ago.

[rothjuje]

It’s snowing and I missed it so much I didn’t even mind shoveling the drive for an hour to get my car back up. It’s February break and I’ve been trapped inside with 3 sick and whiney kids and I felt like if I didn’t get out tonight I would go insane. And I needed groceries and a family sled from Target. In hindsight, yes, I should not have gone. But also I have like a week’s experience of driving in the snow and I didn’t realize how quickly snow can fall, it’s been so hit or miss if it even sticks on the road.

I also learned that plows don’t come by past 9 pm (everything here closes between 8 and 9). So, that was fun. The last 10 minutes of my drive were like driving in a snow globe, I don’t even understand how the Honda civic made it honestly. At one point I thought, ‘my Gd, they’re going to find me frozen to death on the side of the road with my car full of Target bags, what an embarrassing way to go.’

But I made it! And learned lots of lessons, most important being don’t be an idiot and drive during a snowstorm.

It was snowing so fast that in the 30 minutes it took to shovel the fresh drive the majority of it was completely covered again by the end. I tried to drive up and nope. I had to shovel 10 feet quickly, drive 10 feet, shovel 10 feet quickly, drive 10 feet etc. Definitely the most I’ve ever seen it snow in my entire life.

Yes yes I know, I need to figure out the damn snowblower. But shoveling is so fun and great exercise. I downloaded Spotify and finally opened my ear bud knockoffs and it was a party. I feel like I’ve joined the 21st century haha.

Anyway. I had chest pain for two months (squeezing and pressure) and was pretty sure I was going to die of a heart attack. I finally saw a doctor about it and got my labs back and I think it was just unrelated pericarditis (doctor thinks it was from the Pfizer bivalent I got in early December, I never had an issue with the J&J or Moderna though). My labs came back with slight anemia and high cholesterol. I need to get better about taking iron and making healthy choices. I am thinking about doing a complete household diet overhaul, I hate feeling like I’m feeding my kids junk.

I’ve started taking evening power walks with my neighbor and it’s the best, but I think I need more cardio. I still plan on getting the treadmill once we figure out the flooring situation in the basement (we have a credit with Home Depot we’re sorting out). I miss running. A lot. And treadmill running is my favorite kind of running. I was thinking about maybe doing another half marathon because then I would be forced to train, but I keep remembering mile 10 and my legs afterward.

I ask Alyssa what she wants to be when she grows up on a weekly basis. First it was a cat, and then for a year it was a firefighter, for 6 months a nurse, then she wanted to be a mommy, then she wanted to be JoJo Siwa. I asked her the other day and she said “I’ve been thinking about this mom. I want to be a chef. For real.” I believe it, she’s a picky eater for sure but she loves to try new things, and oddly she likes spices. And she loves to cook and bake. I want to encourage her interest because I think it will help her become a better eater and just because that’s such a perfect and unique passion. I will miss her JoJo Siwa days though, she is such a performer.

Justin leaves Saturday for an international trip. It feels like he just got back from his last work trip. He’s going to be gone a full seven days. Inconveniently, it’s supposed to snow several times next week. I need to unbox the snowblower before he leaves, I won’t be able to leave the kids to shovel. I want to park the car at the bottom of the driveway but Justin is worried that it will get hit by a snow plow (really?) or that it will roll down because of ice (the bottom of our driveway is still a hill). Hmmmm.

[megaboy335]

Mega’s Top 2022 Anime (and Manga)

Another year comes and goes, and with it another year of anime comes to a close. The number of shows I watched continues to decline. While at the same time I’m spending more time reading manga. There was a strong mix of anime originals and creative adaptations this year. Without further ado, here’s my annual top 5 anime of the year (and manga) list:

1) Mob Psycho 100 Season 3 Mob Psycho 100 has joined the short list of manga that got completely adapted into anime. While I wasn’t as into the season due to the passage of time, it ended on a very high note for me. The remaining plotlines landed in a good place, character arcs reached their resolution, and its message remained on point to the very end. I don’t have much more to add compared to what I wrote in 2016 and 2019. I hope it will be remembered as a classic from this time period. 2) Bocchi the Rock This was the most creative anime visually for me this year. Every single interaction is a struggle for Bocchi, and that is conveyed through each incident being depicted differently. It brings a lot of life to Bocchi’s personality as no two situations are quite the same for her. It’s also an uplifting show as she grows closer to her new found band friends. Bocchi the Rock was definitely the surprise hit of the year.

3) Spy x Family

As someone who has been reading the manga since it began, I had a feeling it would become a hit someday. The dynamic between Twilight (the spy with a thousand faces), Yor (assassin by night, office worker by day), and Anya (the all knowing psychic) makes for comedic and wholesome situations as they live together under the same roof. Next season will have the much anticipated Yor boat arc. There’s also a movie to look forward to. 4) Made in Abyss Season 2 If you thought season 1 and the movie was the most emotional it could be, well, the series still had more tricks up its sleeve. This season took us down another layer into the legendary Golden City. The story began with a previously unseen group of explorers who descended down to this level. I can’t even begin to describe the horrors they experienced. It was some of the cruelest material yet in the series and a stark reminder how the abyss is a place that rejects outsiders. Unfortunately it might be a long time before another season or movie gets made.  5) Chainsaw Man

This was one of the most anticipated anime of the year for a good reason. Tatsuki Fujimoto draws manga like nobody else in the shonen genre. I was worried how his cinematic yet deliberate panel work would translate to screen, and I can say Mappa did a respectable job. The content from here is where the series had me on the edge of my seat every week. I can’t wait to see Reze, the Gun Devil, and basically the entire second half animated. 

Other series worth mentioning: Call of the Night, Dress Up Darling, Lycoris Recoil, Kaguya-Sama: Love is War Season 3 and Bleach The Thousand Year Blood War Part 1

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Biggest Disappointments of the Year: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 6 - Turns out when you just adapt the manga panels to tv, it loses a lot of visual personality. Thankfully the story alone was enough to make it watchable. My greatest fear going into 2023 is a poor adaptation of Steel Ball Run on Netflix

Devil is a Part Timer season 2 - This was a long overdue sequel. In the time between seasons, I was able to read the entire light novel series. The books are a nice read. The anime however, looked terrible. Perhaps it was best to not adapt it again if that’s the best they could do. Save yourself and read the novels instead. It’s highly unlikely the anime will be able to adapt all 21 volumes anyways. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Best Openings/Ending of 2022: 1) Urusei Yatsura (2022) Opening - Fun opening and catchy song makes for a perfect match to a reboot of the classic manga 2) Spy x Family Ending 2 - It perfectly captures the peaceful life they enjoy during the day vs. their personal struggles in the shadows.  3) Call of the Night Opening - A simple yet stylized opening to convey how meeting the Vampire Nazuna is changing his life. 4) One Piece Opening 24 - Upbeat song and visuals to showcase the battles against the Tobi Roppo in this section of the story. I hope for a gear 5 animation update when the anime gets there. 5) Chainsaw Man Ending 4 - Among all of Chainsaw Man’s endings, #4 was my personal favorite. Who knew it was possible to show the chaotic yet fun energy of Power in 90 seconds. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next up, I’m adding a manga section for the first time. I read a lot of current titles and sometimes I try to check out older series that I missed. The number of legal manga services have started to take off in recent years.  Weekly Shonen Jump and Jump+ have a ton of anime on the schedule for 2023. Undead Unluck is one to watch for big hit potential (don’t let the early crudeness deter you, it matures very quickly), and maybe Mashle if the fights are well animated. Among new serializations, Akane Banashi is without a doubt the best new title of 2022. Its a Rakugo-battle manga that addresses both long standing sexism and the modernization vs. traditional debate within the art form. Takamasa Moue draws well detailed spreads to immerse readers in the world of the stories being told. This will be a big hit when it is eventually animated. Also a big shoutout to Ruri Dragon. I look forward to the day it comes back from hiatus. Speaking of hiatuses, Hunter x Hunter came back for another 10 chapter run this year. This time it devoted nearly every page to the Spiders and mafia plot on the lower levels of the ship. But overall, not a lot actually happened. The Phantom Troupe backstory was a nice treat for long time fans at least. I still don’t expect to ever see the end of this arc. Outside of Jump, Tying the Knot with an Amagami Sister is a harem rom-com that I find very enjoyable with a good mix of supernatural antics and fun moments you’d expect in the genre. Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End is probably going to be one of the biggest anime in 2023. The manga tells the story of Ef who outlived her party. She now seeks to make new memories while learning the meaning of the little things in her previous journey. Its a story that puts everyday life moments into perspective.

Lastly for a few older titles I read this year:

Negima and UQ Holder - This is the kind of series that I would have been immensely into if I read it during its run. The rom-com elements are nice and all, but what truly sold me on the series is the fantasy adventure they have during the entire second half. Negima is one of the best at blending harem and battle troupes together. Unfortunately the sequel UQ Holder isn’t nearly as good. Poor pacing and incoherent plot held it down. At least it provided the final arc that Negima skipped at the end. I think it’s a series that has aged surprisingly well in this modern isekai era. Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer - I heard this was a fantastic title and... I thought it was boring. It’s not drawn particularly well, the story is a bit formulaic, and everything falls flat for me. It simply didn’t feel ambitious enough for the story it wanted to tell (and let us not go into the bland anime adaptation it received). I’ll get around to Satoshi Mizukami’s other titles eventually. Sun Ken Rock - Since Dr. Stone finished this year, I went back to read another Boichi work. I was really impressed by the Yazuka drama mixed with a non-Japan setting. I quickly learned Boichi sure tamed himself before coming to Jump while still always striving to improve his art. His already impressive spreads during Sun Ken Rock only become more detailed over time and throughout Dr. Stone. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I look forward to the anime adaptations for several of my favorite manga in 2023 and can’t wait to discover new manga series. The year seems like it will be off to a promising start with JoJo Part 9 coming in February. A few big hitters from Weekly Shonen Jump are also likely to end. There are plenty of things to look forward to in the coming year.

See you all next time!

[blitzturtles]

Title: It Starts Like This, Ch. 7

Rating: Teen and Up

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo

Pairing(s): BruAbba

Summary: Trish freezes in the doorway, mid-stride, but she doesn’t turn around. Her shoulders are tense, and she looks prepared to bolt at the slightest hint of trouble. It adds weight to his ongoing theory that she’s been steering clear of him, and now it’s time to confirm whether or not he knows why.

Notes: Turns out being dead has a bit of a long term effect. Who would have thought?

This fic got away from me, so I'm breaking it down by character interaction (sort of). This is Trish's chapter, which should be the second to last! I'll still write in this universe in the future, though they'll likely be one-shots going forward.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

-

Bucciarati steps into the kitchen, expecting it to be empty. As far as he knew, the only three people at home were Narancia, Leone, and himself. The former is busy doing his homework in the library, while Bruno’s just left Leone’s presence to explore the contents of the pantry. Alone. Or so he’d thought.

A blur of pink nearly startles Bucciarati as badly as he must scare Trish, considering the way she nearly jumps out of her seat at the dining room table. Rather than sit back down, she’s scrambling up to weave past him. “Oh! Bucciarati! I’m sorry, I can- I can go,” she says, moving almost too quickly for Bucciarati to recover in time to catch her, much less speak.

“Wait, Trish.”

Trish freezes in the doorway, mid-stride, but she doesn’t turn around. Her shoulders are tense, and she looks prepared to bolt at the slightest hint of trouble. It adds weight to his ongoing theory that she’s been steering clear of him, and now it’s time to confirm whether or not he knows why.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Bucciarati says, speaking the words slowly. Carefully. He doesn’t want to chase her off before they have a chance to talk.

Trish sucks in a breath, but she doesn’t find the right words to reply despite the frantic look in her eyes.

Bucciarati decides that’s his cue to continue. “Since the day in Giorno’s office, you won’t stay in any room that I am in alone.” He picks his words as carefully as he can. He’s not offended, but he doesn’t know how to emphasize that to her while still getting down to the root of the problem. “Something’s bothering you.”

“I’ve just been busy,” Trish manages to squeak out.

Bucciarati doesn’t need to brush up on his interrogation skills to know that she’s lying. She isn’t particularly good at it, either. At least not when she’s trying to lie to him. Someone else, maybe, but he sees right through the brave face she attempts.

“Trish.”

“It’s nothing! Really!” She grabs the doorframe, as if he might drag her back into the kitchen when she makes a run for it.

“If I may be so bold,” Bucciarati starts, still careful, “You’re feeling guilty. You have been for a while.” He doesn’t need all of his life experience to know that. The look on her face screams it.

Trish wavers in place. Her hand drops from the doorframe, but only so she can wrap her arms around her middle. She hugs herself tightly, as if she can ward away the onslaught of reality. It makes Bucciarati feel guilt of his own for pushing the subject. Maybe she isn’t ready, but he doesn’t want her pain to continue over this. He thinks she’s done more than enough self-loathing, and the punishment is unjust. She’s committed no crime.

Blood once meant everything to Bucciarati. He killed for his blood, traded his life away to the mafia for a few short and illness-riddled years for his blood, but he would never assign the sins of the father to that of the child. Trish is not-- and never has been-- her father. She isn’t capable of doing half of the things Diavolo did in his life.

Trish’s breathing hitches, and it’s all the encouragement that Bucciarati needs. He carefully moves toward her, stepping around her turned back so that they’re facing one another. He brushes his fingers through her hair and tucks some of it away from her face. The first tear falls then, and it breaks his heart.

“Trish,” he repeats, hoping she’ll look at him, but he knows she won’t. All she does is tuck her chin into her shoulder in shame. If she can’t run, then she might as well try hiding. “This isn’t your fault.”

“I know,” she says. Lies.

Bucciarati sighs, though immediately regrets it when Trish flinches away from him. For lack of a better idea, he pulls Trish against his chest and smooths a hand over her hair. “You didn’t do this.”

“But you did it for me!”

Ah. There it is.

“And I would do it again,” Bucciarati reassures. “I didn’t expect our path to involve you, but Giorno and I had intended on taking down your father before we met you. You didn’t change that.” Though she had given him a renewed purpose. A reason to fight even beyond death.

“It doesn’t matter,” Trish insists with a voice that breaks halfway through.

Bucciarati can feel the wetness of her tears against his-- or, rather, Abbacchio’s-- shirt beginning to build as more fall. He continues to brush his fingers through her mass of pink curls. “You didn’t hurt me, Trish.”

“But he did, and he did it because you were trying to protect me!”

“Losing you wasn’t an option,” Bucciarati answers with a gentle squeeze. He lets his chin rest on top of her head and takes a moment to calm his own thoughts.

“Why?” She asks when the silence stretches on between them.

Bucciarati doesn’t think that’s the question that she really wants to ask. And he knows that she doesn’t want-- and won’t accept-- the answer, anyway. Because you deserve to live, he would tell her, if it would mean anything to her right now. He knows what she’ll say in response. Knows she’ll tell him the same, and that his life wasn’t worth her’s.

“You didn’t choose this life,” it’s a gentle reminder, but one that she apparently needs. Her situation is a result of her birth. There’s nothing she did to warrant any of this. “None of this is your fault.”

“Like you did?” Trish snaps the words at him, all sharp edges and surprisingly painful. “Why do you think you deserve this?” She’s demanding now, despite the snuffle in her voice. She’s more anger than unending melancholy, and it’s throwing him off, but not as much the words himself. He doesn’t have an answer to give. Not this time.

She deflates after a moment of receiving no reply and tries to pull away, but he won’t let her. He knows she regrets the words, but he understands why they hang in the air. Why she had to say them. It’s not as if she’s wrong, but that doesn’t mean he knows what to do with them.

“You save everyone around you, and- and for what?” Her hand slams against his chest, open palmed and far from painful. “Was it really worth it?” Her voice is no more than a whisper now.

“Yes,” Bucciarati answers; this time without hesitation, because this is an answer that he does have. A truth that he knows with absolute certainty.

Trish chokes on a sob, and Bucciarati pulls her against him once more.

“Why?” She repeats her earlier question.

Grief is a miserable thing, and he finds that question at the center of it so often. He remembers asking himself that on a loop for years on end without ever finding an answer that satisfied him after all the suffering.

Silence stretches over them once more, and he lets Trish cry with the question hanging between them. It doesn’t matter anymore. The important part is that he’s pushed past the worst of it. He’s confident now that she won’t continue to avoid him. At least not to the same degree. The healing will take time, but he hopes that she’ll allow him to take part in it. That’s all he could truly ask of her anyway. He wants to be there for the people he cares about when they need it, regardless of whatever’s happening in his own head.

“I’m sorry,” Trish says when her sobs slow, and she’s hiccupping more than gasping. She tries to wipe at the tears with frantic hands, but he interrupts her to offer the handkerchief from his pocket.

“Don’t be.”

After taking a moment to wipe at her face, she looks at him again and her expression shifts to mild horror as she takes in the mixture of snot and tears staining the front of his shirt. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

Bucciarati can’t help barking out a short laugh. He squeezes her shoulder gently. “Ah, no harm done. It’s one of Leone’s, anyway.” The dismissiveness is only a joke. He’ll replace the shirt before Leone notices it’s gone, but he gets his intended effect when she lets out a startled laugh that has him smiling warmly at her in response.

“Oh, you were coming in here. Are you hungry?” Trish asks, suddenly remembering how their entire conversation started. She shifts her eyes to the table, clearly not ready to part ways now that they’ve worked through some of what’s been bothering her.

Bucciarati is more than happy to take the invitation. He goes a step further and turns it around on her, “Actually, I was thinking about having some gelato. Care to join me?”

“Depends,” Trish says with false hesitance. She’s teasing him now, and it makes him smile even wider in response, “What kind?”

“Stracciatella?”

Trish tries not to beam, and Bucciarati bites back an endeared laugh. She seems lighter now. Less restrained. She’s not trying to hide from him or avoid letting him see her emotions. There’s a weight off of her shoulders, and he’s glad that he could alleviate some of her misplaced blame.

“Can we eat in the living room?”

“I don’t see why not,” Bucciarati says with a shrug. It’s not as though they haven’t all broken that rule time and time again.

“You’re the best!” Trish calls as she bounces out of the room, presumably to find something for them to watch.

Bucciarati takes a moment to compose a text to Leone. A quick, barely legible update to the ‘Trish situation’, as they’d affectionately been calling it. Leone sends his response before Bucciarati’s phone touches the counter, and he bites back a fond smile, knowing that Leone must have been waiting for an update after so long. He’s doing his best to avoid being overbearing, but it’s not always easy.

Trish pokes her head back through the doorway before Bucciarati can set his phone back down, though she doesn’t give it a second glance before asking, “Are cartoons okay?”

“Depends,” Bucciarati says, reaching for the bowls. “Are they the ones Mista likes?”

“God no.”

“Then yes.”

[themightyaliendwarf]

TPN s02e08

Maaan, what an rollercoaster! We literally go from amazing to fine to incredible. Which kinda makes me angry because this is how this season SHOULD look like. Okay, fine, let’s skip Goldy Pond, but let’s make it equally amazing as this. Just in an anime original way. And this episode proves they COULD do it. It’s a pity that it took them over a half of the season to reach this point. But let’s start from the beginning.

1. So, Peter Ratri is voiced by Yoshimasa Hosoya. I was joking with my friend that it might be the reason why the quality of the animation isn’t always the best - because he took a half of the budget. Anyway, I think he is doing a good job with voicing this character right now, but I will wait with the final judgement for the Peter’s meltdown scene. 

2. Just a fun fact I read in the manga: apparently when Isabella tells Norman that he is going to a new home, Shirai used the kanji that can also mean ‘cage’. 

3. Another thing I loved: they showed how Norman found about Vincent. It’s shown in the extra pages for one of the volumes (I don’t remember in which one right now).

4. Again, I like that the first 7-8 minutes were fully focused on Lambda. I think that this is something that anime-only people really needed (without the context, it’s difficult understand how MUCH those guys hate the demons and why). And for manga readers it was cool to see it in colour. But on the other hand, I’m kinda disappointed that they just showed us the images of the experiments. I think adding movement and sound would make those scenes absolutely terrifying. But hey, at least they showed it!

5. So, we found out a little bit about the escape, buuuut it was nearly as much as I was hoping for. Based on the panels in the manga, we could have already guessed that they used some kind of explosives. I guess we still need to wait for another special chapter/light novel.

6. Annnd after the amazing lambda part we jump to the search... Now, do you know why this whole thing was more engaging in the manga?

Because we got her. I don’t think it will be controversial if I say that the search for Mujika was really boring. Just a bunch of pictures and building up suspense by showing us that CGI demon. Speaking of that demon!

7. You know what pains a lot in this episode? SO MANY reused animations. I mean, the test solving animation, the demon, the chase, later the demons degenerating and demons eating other demons... look, I know they want to save money, but there are some limits!

8. Apparently Ray, a guy who has been living in the wilderness for months, needs a watch to tell that sun is setting. Just a minor nitpick that I had to point out. 

9. Okay, I think we can official crown Norman as our new edge lord. I mean that monologue on the top of the rock... I know that words are from the manga, but when it’s shown like that, it looks more silly than serious. Also, the quote ‘I will gladly become a God or a devil’, doesn’t make THAT much sense here, because we didn’t get this scene:

To me it felt like unnecessary fan service towards manga readers, but I’m happy for you if you liked this scene. Norman is allowed to become our tiny edge lord.

10. You know what made me angry? Don and Ray shooting the demon, but Emma and Gilda not. Yes, Emma does it a second later, but it became a trend to give her badass scenes to boys. The next scene, however, made me furious.

11. Ray shoots the demon and then he and Emma share a sigh of relief. But then it turns out that the wild demon is still alive and it’s going to eat Emma. Wait a minute... I have seen it somewhere... OH, RIGHT!

Of course, there are situations where Emma is the one who is being saved. The problem is that in the anime she is always being saved by someone - never the other way around. I’m happy that Ray is given stuff to do, but why is it that he is given Emma’s stuff. Come on!

12. Also, how did they know that it was Norman who caused the explosion? How far did they actually went? Are you going to tell me that they were in practically the same location for months and nobody found them? Again, those are nitpicks, but they bother me a lot!

13. Also, apparently the drug is now spread through the air, and Norman’s whole gang is made out of edge lords who need to stand dramatically on the chimneys. I can imagine that during planning they had a conversation similar to: - Boss, do you know what ever genocide needs? - What? - Dramatic JoJo posing over the burning villages.  - Good, good... write that down!

14. Okay, enough ranting, let’s move to the incredible stuff. First of all, the music in those last scenes really reminded me of the Witcher Soundtrack and I LOVE the Witcher soundtrack. So epic! 

15. I actually stopped taking notes at this point, because I was so immersed in everything that was happening on the screen. The music, the tone, the colours, the expressions - THIS! This is what this anime should be from the very beginning. Making us care about the demons, and showing that they are also the victims of this system. The actual dread and thriller, the moral issues, engaging plot lines.

16. The scene with the old demon and Norman? Good anime original content? How is it possible? When the old demon asks Norman whether he is a human and he doesn’t answer - because at this point he himself isn’t sure. Yes, give me more of that!

17. Norman being terrified after seeing blood on his hands? That’s a good change from the manga Norman, because it makes narrative sense. Really, CloverWorks, how can you make such an amazing scene after those 6 mediocre and one good episode? 

Anyway, it’s difficult for me to add anything right now because I don’t feel like I have enough words to describe how much I loved that last scene. Does it mean I have forgiven this season its previous sins? No, but I’m a happier person right now, and I’m REALLY looking forward into the next episode. 

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 30 PREMIERE!!!

Hey everyone. Welcome back! We are here for the monumental 30th season of DWTS. Can you believe it? It's wild. Tyra is back as host and she was much better than she had ever been last season. Len and Derek are both at the judges' table with Bruno and Carrie Ann. And I actually liked what Tyra had on. I also thought everyone but one person did a good job. Okay, so now, let's move onto the recap/ranking thing.

As we know, when we have this many people, I tend to rank the couples instead of trying to format an entire recap. The same will be true for this season.

1. Kenya and Brandon- Okay so let me get this out of the way. I have been watching Kenya on RHOA for about a decade and I do not like her character on that show at all. I'm gonna try my best to separate her character on there from how she is on here (which I hear is how she is in real life). I just wanna get that out the way so I don't have to deal with any claims of bias. That being said, this dance really stuck with me more than any other dance from Monday night. I think watching just how natural she was, seeing how much musicality she has and Brandon's choreo really blew me away. I was not expecting her to be that good. Her lines were gorgeous and I felt her hold was actually mostly good. She is one of two women that I felt really gave enough to their performance without going overboard. I'm very excited for these two for the weeks to come.

2. Matt and Lindsay- Another shocker for me! I saw that viral clip of Matt dancing on The Bachelor last year and I got so much second hand embarrassment from it that I did not have any hopes for Matt and rhythm. But listen. Matt shocked me. Lindsay actually got something out of him. So much so that I maybe feel like he's actually got potential to be good. He's gotta loosen up his hips and get that footwork together, but I'm actually excited for these two as well. And I was not expecting that.

3. Amanda and Alan- I wasn't shocked to see what these two did on the dancefloor as Amanda is a dancer and Alan has worked with a big dance ringer before (Heather). So I knew that they were going to be good. And they delivered on that end for sure. I thought her attention to detail was great (almost too good cuz it caused her neck to get wonky). The thing that made me really fall for them is that they are really fun together. Amanda also dances through the floor and not on top of it. So I'm happy that we will have one major ringer that really brings it this season.

4. Mike "The Miz" and Witney- These top 4 are here because they all surprised me the most of everyone and they were the most enjoyable. I think Mike (or The Miz, not sure how I'm gonna refer to him just yet) was shockingly good. Like good to the point that he could be a legit contender if he just works a little more on his technique and reigning in the energy. He's very charismatic. He's got the right attitude. And Witney seems to be working well with him. Actually, I'm seeing little bits of her partnership with Chris Mazdzer coming through. I'm liking what I'm seeing from these two and I hope they improve like I think they will.

5. Jojo and Jenna- So I really liked Jojo a lot more than I thought I would. I thought I would roll my eyes every few seconds, but I wasn't. And she made me actually enjoy Jenna as well? Hell is freezing over right now lol. Anyway, I thought this was a great dance. I don't think it was the best of the night score wise, but it was up there. Once Jojo reigns in all that energy, she's going to be great. That was her biggest issue for me.

6. Suni and Sasha- I really wish I could've put these two higher. But I just couldn't justify it. Suni might be the best technician on the cast this season (like most gymnasts have been). Everything move was excellence. Her transitions between each move was also really nice as well. I don't notice that too often but I noticed it with her and I really appreciated that. My issue is that she's not really performing right now. She's in her head and I just want Sasha to figure that piece out sooner rather than later. I want her to stick around and that's gonna be her Achilles heel.

7. TIE Jimmie/Emma and Christine/Pasha- I feel bad for everyone that got a tango on Monday. It's a terrible week 1 dance. I also hate that these two both got pop songs from 2007 to dance to. Pop songs that should not be anywhere near a tango. It just made for two really weird routines. That being said, both were able to show some strengths that will bode well for them in the coming weeks. Jimmie has a really solid frame and good posture. Christine has a very flexible back. I'm a little more worried for Christine than I am for Jimmie as far as fan support is concerned, but I think she'll be good this week.

9. Mel C and Gleb- I hate having to put Mel all the way down at 9th place. I love her and while I think she had some of the best technique of the night, I wanted more from her and I felt like she had more to offer. I can only blame Gleb's choreo for that. While it was fine, it just didn't make a statement to me. It fell flat. He's gotta step it up because Mel has what it takes to make it to the end. And I actually would want to see her there. But in this season, where everyone is at least good (well everyone will be after our first elimination), you have to stand out with the choreography.

10. Iman and Daniella- First of all I want to say that this dance was underscored. Iman needs to work on his feet for sure. That being said, he's got great control of his limbs, he's got great musicality and he can just legit dance. I think this could've been 1 or 2 points higher. I hope he can be a basketball player that makes it far. Also, I want to say that the tall and long men this season have great control of their limbs and are not afraid to move true to their size. That's really nice to see.

11. Cody and Cheryl- I definitely expected these two to perform a lot better than they did on Monday. I'll chalk that up to first night nerves and having a difficult week 1 dance. When Cody let loose, you could tell that he is a really good dancer. Even some of the more technical things showed off his experience. I fully expect them to come back next week with guns blazing. The one pro whose knowledge of the show rivals Derek's, is Cheryl. I think she knows that they may not be in the safest spot right now and that that needs to change, stat.

12. Melora and Artem- I thought this dance was good, but forgettable amongst a sea of other good to great dances. There wasn't anything that Artem or Melora did wrong. It's just that type of season. Melora is definitely a performer. And she's got some of the basics down really nicely. She needs to find her balance though. She lost it quite a few times during that tango.

13. Brian and Sharna- Okay, this is low. But it is not indicative about how I feel about them as a (dance) couple or how I feel about his dancing. I thought he did a good job. I think they're great together. I just didn't care for this foxtrot. And that's okay. They are only going to go up from here and I can't imagine them leaving anytime soon.

14. Olivia and Val- Olivia was good as well. However, she is kinda stiff. I also didn't really like Val's choreo. I don't have much else to say here. She didn't really make too big of an impact imo. I also hated the outfit that production put her in. It was so unflattering and looked like they threw a pair of curtains on her body.

15. Martin and Britt- This was the one bad performance of the night. And it was bad. I had heard rumblings of him not rehearsing very much and that was so obvious in that paso. I think it was smart for Britt to throw that talking part in at the beginning to minimize any dancing he had to do. But yeah, it was bad. I hate that I have to say this because I love Britt, but these two should go next week. I just can't take anymore weeks of this dancing when everyone else is leaps and bounds better already.

So that's it. Sorry I'm so late. I was going to get this up yesterday but I had a terrible day and said "fuck it" to work, school and this blog. Let me know what you all thought about the show and I will talk to you all soon!

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Sk8 2 - 8 | Kemono Jihen 2 - 3 | Wave!! 2 - 5 | Back Arrow 3 - 6

Sk8 2

What’s with the filter over the recap?

These dance moves are cool (a derpy kind of cool)…but I’m seeing them all with the volume off (due to background noise), so I’ll have to find out what the audio is like later. Update: Rude-Alpha! Someone I actually do know!

I was worried about Truck-kun causing another Isekai Incident ™ there…phew…*wipes sweat off brow*

Is Langa…left-handed, perhaps? Or are left-handers not necessarily better with their left foot?

Langa’s mother’s so funny! It’s rare to see a mother who isn’t dead or just not talked about in anime.

Why is it that parody Sailor Moon transformations always happen with the buffest dudes possible…? That’s why it’s rare to get something like Boueibu, where it takes itself (semi-)seriously.

Lately, the urban aesthetic is cool. HypMic, Akudama, IWGP and now this…

Langa is 17. *takes notes on eligible bachelors, LOL*

“A huge family only embarrasses you.” – *nods*

I see! Although I don’t know anything about skateboarding, I can relate to him when he’s fixing a board up for Langa because I can see it’s Reki using his passion for a friend.

Oh, that’s why they call it Sk8 the Infinity…!

I keep calling it “wiping out” in my head when I watch…I’m no surfer, but I guess I’m more used to surfing lingo.

Hitori piledriver = piledriver by oneself ( I guess…?).

Sk8 3

I’ve never heard of this Takuma Nagatsuka (voice of Miya Chinen). He sounds like Kohei Amasaki…

Hmm…normally skateboarders wear protective gear, right? Couldn’t Langa have gotten some of that (now that I think of it)?

I guess this is also Reki’s pride as a board mechanic on the line here…never saw it that way until I thought about it like that.

I think I remember reading a comment once about Bakugo and Midoriya from BnHA – about how Bakugo seemed sluggish in his progress because he’d been training his Quirk from day 1, while Midoriya was trying to catch up. I think Chinen is in a similar situation.

I think what Chinen has is stability, above all others.

There’s a piece of paper in the back that has “supoort” (sic) written on it.

Chinen’s not…“smiling with his eyes”, you call it. In retail, you learn how to smile with the eyes even when it’s fake.

Kemono Jihen 2

Inari? Like the fox shrine?

So Shiki is a spider-guy and…what is Akira? I’ve heard whispers he’s a yukiotoko, but I don’t know at this point in time.

Kabane’s kinda short, LOL, even in comparison to Akira.

Shiki is definitely Bakugo, Spider Version…LOL.

Oh, BnHA came out in 2014 and Kemono Jihen in 2016 (manga).

Oh, that drip apparatus. I’ve only ever seen it in real life, I think – my dad uses one for his coffee.

Kemono Jihen 3

…hmm, I don’t think I’ve seen much set in Shinjuku. I think there’s Mayonaka Occult Koumuin, part of HypMic…and that might be it.

I laughed at “small meeting room”.

Apparently “biddy bait”, according to Urban Dictionary, is meant to mean “a lure for hot women”. I don’t particularly like Urban Dictionary, because the editors who make these definitions are clearly biased in some way or another while writing their definitions, unlike an actual dictionary.

Aw, come on! Why is it fire from the tail?! Fire from the mouth like a dragon is cooler!

Kabane’s getting ahead of himself! (LOL)

Just noticed Kon’s hoodie has a design that says FOX, but the X is inside the O.

…thank goodness for Shiki’s hand…

Akira’s been a bit of dead weight recently, so I hope he gets developed soon.

Back Arrow 3

I wonder if Shu Bi is asexual and/or aromantic…?

“…inherited the spirit of the former sheriff…” – That’s Atlee’s job…oh wait. It’s about the undies again…

This is fishy…this whole “paradise is beyond the canyon” thing.

Ooh, I get the feeling Shu Bi and Arrow will either come to blows with each other or fight on the same side…

Sk8 4

I wonder if episode 8 will look weird in the titles…? I mean, it will be “Sk8 8”…

I would think Reki’s straightforward emotions would be spiky shapes.

I knew women were something objectified by S, but…Langa, the deuteragonist? That’s new.

It just hit me: This would be so good with a dub…!

*Langa casually eats 10 burgers* - LOL.

“This has gotta be way too late!”

So now an anime character has stolen a motorcycle…LOL.

Back Arrow 4

The title of this episode seems to be “Is Today Yesterday’s Tomorrow?”, the service’s title that I’ve got in front of me is “Does Genius Come When Least Expected?”

This map reminds me of +Anima’s continent.

I seem to remember Boueibu was constructed as half an episode of idle talking, half fighting. Why do I bring this up? Because Back Arrow seems to be constructed similarly, episode-wise.

The reason I like the hot-blooded mech series and not the serious ones…is stupid things (<- I mean that affectionately) like Shu Bi pulling out a phone in a world like this.

What’s with the shot of Elsha’s butt…? I know it seems somewhat justified, considering the position her Briheight’s in…but the leery angle is a bit annoying.

…I keep thinking Bit will get a Briheight one day and he’ll be like Zenitsu – powerful only when he doesn’t know it.

Shin Fusui, right? “Ren Sin” kinda makes sense, given we didn’t know any better, but so does “Ren Shin”…Sin as a first name though…? Anyways, it’s Shin Fusui, Kei Suiitsu, Nen Kasei and Ko Chisen. Their names match their elements.

I never realised how skimpy Kei’s outfit was until she was without her Briheight on the ground…eesh, women and their skimpy outfits in this universe…

Wave!! 2

I’m going to differentiate this anime from the other Wave (Wave, Listen to Me) with 2 exclamation marks…also, I’m not able to mark this episode down until 4 episodes have gone, or until AniList makes a TV entry for this. Update: AniList did eventually make an entry for the TV version (i.e. the version I'm working off) of this anime.

Nalu was playing an invisible ukulele even in the bath, LOL.

I noticed Masaki keeps his corgi between his legs so that the dog doesn’t run away. That’s probably only a thing dog owners do, because I don’t think anyone inexperienced with pets would know if they could do such a thing.

Why do I get the feeling the symbol on one of Masaki’s shoulders is (meant to be) Rip Curl…?

I read some of the 4koma for this series (found on the website) and…Sho’s so cute, envying this ‘warm family”. Nalu still has his ukulele, even at the dining table, LOL.

LOL, random rainbow. Every time I read subs about Masaki extolling surfing, I’m reminded of what I call “translator’s high”. It’s the feeling of working under deadlines and being inspired to churn out a high-quality release.

…well, this is a surfing anime. I should have known this would talk about places that get lots of hot weather and big waves (like Australia) because Joel Parkinson is from Tweed Heads, Sydney.

Who’s Jojo Pardinen?

Why does Masaki call Tanaka “Murphy”?

Wave!! 3

Oh, so that man is Masaki’s dad…Right.

The real spirit of characters is shown after they’re defeated…that’s my thoughts, anyway.

I know what a repechage is…in fact, I learnt about that through the FP and M manga.

Oh! It’s “Nalu”, but written “Naru”.

Wave!! 4

Is there a 3rd place in these competitions?

Wait, so the guy in the pink shirt is Masaki’s dad, but then the Hawaiian shirt dude owns the shop. Am I right on this now…?

There is a magical girl called Sally, IIRC, and the description does match.

LOL, I like how the teacher is so indecisive.

Back Arrow 5

Shu Bi’s so pretty…I had my eyes on him from the beginning and now that’s paying me back tenfold.

I wonder if Shu will ever get a Briheight…? (I wanna see it!)

Back Arrow 6

Pretty boy farms!!! It sounds like abuse in a sense, but it also sounds like a dream (?!)

Bit reminds me of Sousuke (Classicaloid).

Oh, so the funky gold hat-thing with the purple ribbon is what the head diviner wears.

LOL wut…his name is “Bruh”? *tries to hide stupid smirk on face*

Wait, if it’s a pretty boy farm, how do you produce new pretty boys without women…? *scratches head*

Question: What is Gote’s conviction?

Wave!! 5

Kadomatsu (the bamboo), huh? Must be New Year’s. Likewise, the bush warbler (uguisu) means it’s spring.

Sk8 5

Milk, straight from the carton…*sigh* Boys… Update: (This is referring to how guys are typically shown chugging straight from the carton. As you can tell from the comment, I don't particularly like it.)

I like how suddenly, all the barriers come down for these guys, even though Kaoru said at one point they shouldn’t be coming down.

Battle of Ganryujima.

Sk8 6

…this woman Reki has the hots for is going to be a dude…that’s normally how this joke works.

Oh well, that was also a funny moment.

“Dangerous stuff is forbidden.”

Hiromi in a swimsuit is…vaguely disturbing.

Kamata? Y’mean, she has the word for “scythe” in her name and she’s a “mantis woman”? Makes sense.

Even on their day off, the Sk8 crew are fun to be with.

Sk8 7

Whoa! Straight to the OP!

…I’m suddenly scared. What if Langa’s mother gets put in danger…? (Like in Kanon.)

Sk8 8

I want Langa to punch Adam. In the face. Now!

…is Snake…Ainosuke’s butler? I can sort of guess from the hair…and the matching theme [of Adam, Eve and the snake in paradise]…

It is the butler!

[yakumtsaki]

Well guys, it’s that time of year again. To recap, Jojo is still not a werewolf, Wyatt has shattered every record of incompetence and still not reached the top of his career, noogiesexual Shajar got dumped by Sophie Miguel and befriended a vampire, Cyneswith continues to date black-lipstick-broken-face-template flop Don Oates, Wulf grew up in the most iconic outfit of all time, and we got a new cat named Alcibiades for D’vorah to mate with since she refused to have kittens with poor Sweets. So let’s pick up right where we left off, which is of course the endless battle of getting D’vorah to procreate..

-Come on sweetie, we got a new boy toy just for you, get on with it, you’re almost an elder!

-NEVER! I’m a direct descendant of Zoroaster’s cat herself, I’ll never sully my bloodline with the genetic material of some pound mutt! You find me an appropriate mate before I go full Henry VIII!

STOP MIXING HISTORICAL REFERENCES AND FUCK ALCIBIADES ALREADY. His name undercuts my point but still.

-Do we have any custom blue fur paint for my balls?

ALCIBIADES SHUT UP. You assholes are by far the worst generation of pets yet, the two cat losers are bad enough but then add fucking Maxx to the mix-

-AND FORGET ABOUT IT. Look who’s getting along all of a sudden! 

-Yes, now that it’s become clear that this cat legacy shitshow is crumbling, I’ve stopped beating up the cats because I will look like a bully kicking them while they’re down. It’s part of my image revamp to get the audience behind a dog legacy! 🐶

Maxx, nothing personal, but I hate you more than you can possibly imagine. Let’s check in with the humans, I’m sure they will be totally normal, likable and stable as always-

-I can see your beating heart with my x-ray vision. I want to eat it. 

-Yay, let my sister eat your heart! 💗

-Stop patronizing me, you little bitch, I can get my own hearts to eat. 

-I just get excited when we do things together! 💗

-GAWD GTFO CYNESWITH, you’re ruining my Aztec sacrifice!!! 

-Ah, to be middle aged and in love, with your terrible children about to fuck off to college at any minute.. Looking at you, Wulf. Literally looking at you. 

Somehow that is already enough checking in with the humans for one update?

-HAHA I GOT YOU! GIMME IT!! YOU DON’T EVEN NEED IT

-LEAVE MY HEART ALONE, SHAJAR, I KEEP TELLING YOU IT’S A VITAL ORGAN

-No it’s not, the paper that got my father kicked out of the mad scientist association said so! 

They hated Jojo because he told them the truth.

These two are actually getting along great and I get my hopes up that Shajar will stop being a literal incel! Let’s all join together in prayer-

-Did someone say ‘prayer’?

GODDAMMIT SOPHIE YOU HAVEN’T SHOWED UP AT ALL AND YOU CHOOSE THIS MOMENT TO MAKE YOUR GHOST DEBUT?? FUCK OFF  

-HAHA I was waiting for a situation where my appearance would hinder the biggest amount of sin!!!!

UGH you’ve gotten even more religious in death?!

-Of course I have, what do you think heaven does to your faith?

How the fuck are you both in heaven and wandering the earth as an apparition?

-My spirit takes earth vacations to cockblock! 

Well at least you’re dying how you lived: pissing me off. 

And of course Maxx goes in for the kill with his ‘good doggie’ routine, terminally distracting Blueshirt Whatshername from Shajar’s heart-eating charms. As always, big thanks to our pets, both alive and dead.

End of the road, Shajar! Enjoy this dancing scholarship that you hilariously earned during all the outings I forced you into to get rid of your incelitude.

As Shajar leaves for college a kissless noogiesexual, I decide to try and solve at least one of my problems, and that problem is called Don fucking Oates. So we call Lakshmi back, hoping she has forgiven me for our last tense interactions-

-I have not.

Wow ok well now you’re just being petty, you saddled me with Don Oates, don’t be a sour winner. Now is there anyone out there that can potentially beat Cyneswith and Don’s natural 3 bolts???

-Nop. 

LAKSHMI COME ON, YOU’RE NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH

-I’m telling you, there isn’t anyone else, they’re a perfect match!

Well I refuse to accept that reality, so hit us with your best shot.

-Whatever, it’s your money.

I mean technically it’s Jojo’s and maybe I shouldn’t be spending it so freely..

-Daddy wouldn’t have a problem with it! 💗

Yea he sure wouldn’t, Cyn, since he’s literally this post.

IS THAT ANOTHER TRICOU LOVECHILD AND THE LAMEST ONE TO BOOT???

-Yup.

HARD PASS. 

-Je suis back et je non get prόmόted agàin! :D

Another hugely successful day for Wyatt as usual. Honestly as long as you don’t get fired or demoted for a third time, whatever.

-Sό je can go to sleepé?? :D

Yea sure, it’s not like there’s anything for you to do around here now that the kids have grown up. Not that you ever did anything to begin with-

-Oui oui, all tres fascinàting, bonne nuit now!

Oh actually wait, I do need you to do something before you go to sleep for 16 hours.

-Quoi???

-Ohh, le pόrtait de le morté!

Le portrait de le morte indeed. Jojo is predictably super into his death portrait being painted, as one is. Seriously what are you doing.

-Composing a tragic opera about myself, what else.

On a casio??

-I could afford a concert piano but it wouldn’t fit into this pathetically tiny house you built, would it?

Ok I get where you’re coming from, but in my defense, given your youthful days, who the fuck could had anticipated you evolving into a financially successful and mentally stable adult instead of a bankrupt lunatic that eats his own feces?

-Oui, that’s what Shajàr est going to be! Huhu!

-HAHAHAHA oh Wyatt, you’re so attractive when you’re insulting our two terrible children. Where is that little goblin anyway?

Omfg you assholes, she went off to college yesterday.

-She did??? About time! One down, one to go. If only Cyneswith could stay here forever :(

-Oui :(

-________-

Speaking of, let’s try this one more time. Lakshmi please, for the love of god, give us something I can work with. 

-Alright fine, you wore me down. Ask..

-..and you shall receive.

OMG YAS RICKY CORMIER, I LOVE HIM AND HIS FACE TEMPLATE. What the fuck are you wearing, Rick? Don’t dress up on our account. 

-I was teleported here right from work, where the fuck am I???

That’s a great question Rick, you’re in our front yard on a date with our resident 10 nice points freakshow, Cyneswith. And I see that you have 7 nice points to Don’s 4, so you crazy kids just go ahead and hit it right off now!

-Not if I have anything to do with it!

VICTOR NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR GHOST BINGO, FUCK OFF

-It’s always the time for ghost bingo.

I try my best to make this date go well but Ricky isn’t into Cyneswith AT ALL. It’s honestly pretty offensive and I hate him now. 

‘I’ve had better dates’, you’re like 15, Casanova, calm down. What a twerp. 

With that last doomed attempt to break her and Don up, the time has come for Cyneswith to fuck off to college as well, and yes, Don is coming with us to be endlessly cheated on by Miss 20 Simultaneous Lovers/Grey Hair turn on. Fuck both mine and Don’s lives. 

As if my failure to perform a Donectomy wasn’t bad enough, what does Wyatt get the day he’s finally guaranteed to be promoted, BUT ANOTHER FUCKING CHANCE CARD, WITH WHICH HE HAS A 2 OUT OF 2 FLOPPING SCORE. One of them got him demoted, the other got him fired, it took us forever to get him the 9 fucking friends he needed, so this is just terrific. Istg I could go to a police academy in real life, graduate, join the force, rise up through the ranks and become a superhero in less time than it has taken Wyatt to do it. Here goes nothing but Wyatt’s hopes and dreams..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY

F I N A L L Y. 

OMFG.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT WAS LEGIT HARDER THAN KOMEI’S 6 PETS CAREER ONE, FUCKING HELL WYATT.

What a sight for sore eyes. 2 days before elderhood, but we did it, mon bebe! I’m so proud of us, but mainly me, for not giving up and making you a househusband which I know realize I should had done, because you’re so gonna destroy this city. 

-Je will savé la city! First ordér of enterprisé, àpprehending le killér seriàl knόwn as Dr. Gingér Violetté! ⭐

Oh boy. Good luck with that!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Hol Horse

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So last year I thought it was a good idea to try and review all of the enemy Stand users in Stardust Crusaders in a totally random order. The results were… mixed. Some of them I think came out okay, but others? Not so much. One of them was just an entire backhanded attack against some guy who decided to say “No one likes your analyses” because I think ProJared was a creep. It was, quite frankly, a mess, and I never bothered to revisit it and never thought I would, even though I still hadn’t covered the glorious, wonderful human being who is Hol Horse.

Well, now, after playing Heritage for the Future and All-Star Battle as well as just becoming a bit more knowledgeable on JJBA, I’ve decided to not only give Hol Horse his dues, but also at least briefly go back over or cover the other Stand users and give them a rating or an updated rating, as the case may be. So buckle in, this is gonna be a long one, and it’s all gonna start with everyone’s favorite incompetent henchman.

Hol Horse is probably one of the most amazing characters Araki has ever created. Hol Horse is in possession of a powerful Stand, The Emperor, which is literally a magical gun that fires bullets he can control the trajectory of. By all accounts, Hol Horse should be the single most dangerous foe that the Crusaders face, more than even Vanilla Ice. This guy should be able to shoot them all dead without a second thought! There’s just one tiny little caveat:

Hol Horse is a fucking moron.

This man is cowardly, incompetent, and just the punching bag of cruel misfortune as all his plans constantly go awry and he is constantly knocked on his ass. And yet, Hol Horse is still the most beloved enemy Stand User of Stardust Crusaders, and it’s not hard to see why. Because despite all of his bumbling, Hol Horse just oozes a sort of cool you just don’t see every day.

(For best results, listen to this the whole time while reading the following).

Motivation/Goals: Hol Horse is one of the few henchmen of DIO who is motivated purely by his own greed… at least, at first. Eventually he has his ass handed to him one too many times, and he decides to try and assassinate DIO. This goes about as well as you’d expect, and Hol Horse – not just part of it, the ENTIRE Horse – is so scared out of his mind that he decides, yep, loyalty to DIO is the way to go! It doesn’t work out, but hey, he tried, right?

Performance: Imami Williams gives Hol Horse that raspy, American charm he needs in the anime adaptation. With his voice and the animation combined, we get to see our favorite smarmy sharpshooter who can’t shoot for shit shoot his shot and miss every time, and it is simply glorious.

Final Fate: Hol Horse kidnaps Boingo and forces him to work with him to finally get his revenge! With the prophetic skills of Thoth and the raw damage that can be done with Emperor, there’s no way they could lose! And yet, as is always the case with Thoth, things go horrendously awry and Hol Horse, despite having the ability to control the trajectory of his bullets, ends up shooting himself and knocking him out of part 3 for good.

Best Scene: Really, just the entirety of the episodes where he teams up with Boingo, especially when he tries holding up Polnareff. Considering what comes after and what came before it, it’s just the dose of lighthearted fun needed before you watch all of your favorite characters get brutally murdered by DIO and Vanilla Ice,. 

Best Quote: There is only one line it could be, and it’s Hol Horse’s response to Thoth’s suggestion he kick a woman in the neck: “Listen, Boingo... I am the nicest man in the world. I have girlfriends everywhere. I might lie to a woman, but I'll never hit them! It doesn't matter how ugly they are! Because I respect women!”

That’s right, everyone. Hol Horse drinks Respect Women Juice.

Final Thoughts & Score: Hol Horse is simply astounding. The character is such a colossal screwup that he shouldn’t be as good as he is… yet he is. The dude is gifted with the most incredible power imaginable, and yet somehow he is never able to do a goddamn thing with that power! You control where the bullets go, dude! How can you not hit anything?! It’s interesting how his cowardice and lack of motivation makes him a perfect representation of the inverted Emperor tarot card, but hey, tarot motifs are par for the course with the Stand users.

But there’s something charming to how pathetic Hol Horse is. He’s always plying second banana, he’s a dirty coward who turns tail and runs when things aren’t looking good for him, he never wins a single battle, he didn’t even kill the one guy it seemed like he killed… but throughout it all he still has this sort of smarmy charisma to him that makes him impossible to hate. It’s no wonder this guy has girls all over the world, because he is a world-class charmer. There’s also how Hol Horse is just a character who really, really lives by his own personal philosophy – that is to say, he always likes to be #2, never going into a fight without backup. It’s kind of refreshing to see him always stick by this, even to his own detriment; it’s hard to hate a man who’s principled to that degree. And, of course, this man respects women. Good on him.

It helps that Hol Horse’s inexplicable popularity has led to him getting his time to shine in outside media. Heritage for the Future has two versions of him, his regular form and one that partners him with Boingo, and in skilled hands his Emperor finally gets to live up to its deadly potential. And he’s no slouch in his return appearance in All-Star Battle, and what’s more impressive is in that game he is part of the base roster while Joseph and Iggy, two of the main heroes, are relegated to DLC! You heard me right: the bumbling cowboy who did not win a single fight or even come close to it and spent a lot of time shooting himself managed to beat out out two iconic heroes from the same part onto the roster! Horsey Man must be doing something right.

As this video shows, Hol Horse is one of the most influential characters in the JJBA franchise, having helped to shape the franchise going forward and helped to inspire the traits that made beloved characters like Guido Mista, Gyro Zeppeli, and Yoshikage Kira as legendary as they are. Hell, Hol Horse is just so awesome he almost got to be a protagonist, but Araki decided that Horsey was too similar to my favorite big-titty Frenchman, Polnareff. This means Hol Horse never got his time to shine as a hero, and so stayed a villain til the end… but hey, can he really be that sad if he gets a 10/10 on Psycho Analysis?

Actually, maybe he wouldn’t like that. He likes to play second fiddle to others, after all. But I guess that’s just the curse with these JoJo villains who want to not stand out; they always end up being the best and most memorable characters.

Anyway, now that we’ve got the best of the best out of the way, it’s time for...

Psycho Analysis: DIO’s Other Henchmen

I’m just gonna give my brief thoughts on these guys. Most of them are pretty one-note oneshots, but there are a few who rise above that and manage to be something else entirely. These guys were a learning experience for Araki, and his enemy Stand users of the week definitely improved with later parts, with Vento Aureo really cranking it up to 11. 

But for now, we’re stuck with these guys.

Gray Fly: I actually stand by my opinion from my original review of him; he’s nothing incredibly memorable, but he’s a solid start to the adventure and he is directly responsible for diverting the journey onto the course it ended up going on. Without him, things would have likely played out far differently. A 5/10 is still a good score for him.

Fake Captain Tenille: He actually gets bumped down to a 2/10, due to my changes in how things are scored. He’s not amusing enough to be in the “So bad it’s good” category of the other 3s, he’s just really lame and forgettable, and he still somehow manages to lose when he has the advantage. What a dweeb.

Forever: If you think the monkey boat fight is dropping in score, you’re mistaken. Forever remains at an 8/10 for being such a delightfully weird curveball that helps set the tone for the franchise to follow.

Devo: One of the weirder playable character choices from Heritage for the Future, and certainly not one I like too much; he’s also a random event that is pretty useful in All-Star Battle’s online campaign, so that’s a good mark for him. If nothing else, he gave a good showing of Polnareff’s skills when under pressure, so… yeah. I think a 5/10 is good enough.

Rubber Soul: This review I regret because I was backhandedly responding to that guy who weirdly decided to bring up my distaste for ProJared in a review of Arabia Fats and Kenny G. I do mostly stand by what I said; Rubber Soul is one of the more amusing minor foes, if only because of his ridiculous performance as Kakyoin. Still, it really sucks he was just a clone character in Heritage for the Future… put he gets points for  having the iconic cherry-licking as a taunt. 6/10 is where he remains.

J. Geil: Again, my opinion hasn’t changed: J. Geil is a mountain of wasted potential, but at the very least he makes for a good antagonist for his brief appearance and hey, he’s the one who helped bring us the beautiful hunk of man that is Hol Horse, so I’d feel bad giving him less than a 7/10.

Nena: I honestly think Nena is one of the most boring Stand users of the part, which is sad because her episode gives Joseph the spotlight. She’s just really gross and uninteresting, and you’ll likely forget her after her episode is over. 2/10.

ZZ: ZZ is not particularly great, and his design is just there to be a joke, but it’s hard to totally hate a guy who manages to roll references to Christine, Duel, and the album cover for Eliminator by his namesake into one. I think he’s more of a 4/10, but probably on the higher end there. He’s not great, but he has enough going for him to keep me from hating him.

Enya: So if I thought that J. Geil was a waste of potential, I feel this even more so for his mother Enya. Despite being hyped up as this big, intimidating right-hand woman to DIO early on, she gets one appearance where her Stand is defeated by Star Platinum pulling a power out his ass and then is unceremoniously killed by Steely Dan of all people. I will give her this: her interactions with Polnareff are absolutely hilarious. But when all you have going for is some jokes, don’t be surprised when you end up with a 6/10, which you’re pretty much only getting because even despite the mountains of wasted potential you’re really not that bad.

She do be looking hot in the OVA tho.

Steely Dan: My opinion is unchanged; he’s a solid 7/10 oneshot douchebag. Nothing more, nothing less. His level in the PS1 game seriously blows, though.

Arabia Fats: I was too hard on this guy. While I meant everything I said, and his episode is boring filler, does it really make him a bottom of the barrel all-time worst villain? No. It just makes him a crappy joke character. 2/10.

Mannish Boy: I regret not getting to this guy last time, because aside from Forever he’s probably one of the most insane Stand user of the part, seeing as he is an infant. Like, he’s just an evil baby who can kill people in their dreams. And he gets defeated by being force fed his own crap. Much like Forever, it’s fun to speculate where exactly DIO found this guy; did he just go to a nursery and start jabbing babies with the Stand arrow? Did he meet this guy at a Cairo night club? What exactly is Mannish Boy’s origin? He’s just so utterly and hilariously inexplicable. He’s definitely a 7/10; he doesn’t quite have the shock factor that Forever did before him, but let’s not pretend an evil talking baby Stand user isn’t one hell of a weird twist.

Cameo: This guy really lives up to his name; his Stand is the one that gets the most screentime, with the actual Stand user being relegated to a – you guessed it – cameo appearance at the end of the fight. Thankfully, his Stand is an enjoyable take on jerkass genies and gives a pretty sad and disturbing episode that not only features my man Polnareff, but also marks the point where Avdol returns and brings “Hell 2 U!” I think he deserves at least a 7/10, even if this is mainly for Judgment. Still, a Stand is a representation of the user’s soul, so I think it works out.

Here’s the Stand:

And here’s the man behind it:

Midler: Midler is one of the single most interesting characters from the pre-Egypt half of Stardust Crusaders, and is the point where Stand users really started to get interesting. Her Stand, High Priestess, has a really funky and unique design, and her battle serves as the final roadblock before the Crusaders arrive in Egypt. Despite never appearing onscreen, with only her unconscious body being shown at the end of the fight in a way that obscures her, she got to appear in Heritage for the Future with an awesome sexy belly dancer design and a badass moveset that makes her a really fun character to play as. Taking everything into account, I think she just barely scrapes into the bottom of the 8/10 pool, though really this is mainly for her playable appearance.

N’Doul: My opinions really haven’t changed on him. He’s still an 8/10.

Oingo & Boingo: These guys are, in a word, hilarious. In between the grueling, brutal fight with N’Doul and the later fights in the part, these guys bring some much needed levity to the proceedings. Oingo gets an entire episode where he just completely bumbles about as he attempts to impersonate Jotaro to assassinate the Crusaders, failing at every turn and only managing to blow himself up in the end. Boingo fares a little better, eventually getting roped in to Hol Horse’s scheme to get some revenge, which leads to one of the funniest episodes of the entire series as Hol Horse and Oingo hold up Polnareff. I think they collectively get an 8/10 for being two of the funniest Stand users in the part. They even get their own unique end credits in the anime (with Hol Horse joining in on the fun when he teams up with Boingo)!

Anubis: Again, my opinion is unchanged, though I must say him having technically three playable appearances in Heritage for the Future does make me have at least a little more fondness for him. Black Polnareff, Chaka, and Khan are all amusing characters to play as and all have some awesome theme music. Introducing the concept of Stands being able to exist independently of their Original user is pretty neat, as well as the idea of a Stand that can switch users like it does. 7/10 is still what I’d give it, but I think that it’s pretty telling that this is probably the “weakest” character in the Egypt arcs in terms of being a villain, and yet he’s still pretty cool.

Mariah: Completely unchanged. She still deserves an 8/10, because her episode is hilarious, her playable appearance in Heritage for the Future is a blast, and she’s just really frikkin’ hot. I’m not gonna lie, she’s probably my second favorite enemy Stand user out of the Egyptian ones. I may or may not want her to step on me.

Alessi: I’m going to be honest here: Alessi is my favorite of the Egyptian Stand users. He’s an ax crazy coward with pedophile undertones who is just an utterly demented and sick individual with a seriously intriguing Stand that de-ages its victims. It’s a damn shame he never crossed paths with Joseph and de-aged him, but when he’s just such a hilarious and hateable lunatic with an incredibly fun playable appearance in Heritage for the Future (complete with awesomely creepy theme music!) it’s hard for me to give Alessi anything less than a 9/10. Attaboy!

Daniel J. D’Arby: My opinion is honestly unchanged, but I think I’d bump him down to an 8/10.

Pet Shop: Again, unchanged really. It’s hard to give a character as busted as he is in Heritage for the Future anything less than a 9/10 any way you slice it.

Telence T. D’Arby: Opinion unchanged, 8/10. I don’t have much else to say here, besides Xander Mobus rocks.

Kenny G: See Arabia Fats above. I got irrationally mad over a dumb joke character. He’s not going above a 2/10, but he’s not worth really getting mad about.

Vanilla Ice: I still think he’s the only enemy Stand user besides Hol Horse who deserves his 10/10. My opinion of him remains unchanged, but I would like to say he’s easily one of my favorite characters to play as in All-Star Battle.

Nukesaku: Ok, he’s not an enemy Stand user, he’s just some weird vampire… zombie… thing. Still, I feel he’s at least worth briefly mentioning, if only because he’s probably the only easily-defeated joke villain Araki did from the first three parts who is particularly memorable. Wired Beck and Doobie are really not all that memorable, but Nukesaku at least elicits a few chuckles – he even gets cameos in Heritage for the Future as well as getting to be a stage hazard in All-Star Battle. For what he is, I think he deserves a 5/10.

And with all these enemies taken care of, that just leaves one more Stand user to talk about.. one whose Psycho Analysis has been sitting in my drafts for a year now...

[succubused]

I know nothing about jojo. Teach me it out of context

part 1 phantom blood. um jonathan (British) has some personal problems with his adopted brother dio brando (also british) and then dio kills their dad and becomes a vampire. jonathan gets shounen powers and a guy survives for like fifteen minutes after being cut in half. dio gets decapitated so jonathan went and got married but then dios decapitated head appeared on the boat and was like jonathan i respect you so i want to use your decapitated body as my own. and jonathan was like dude thats kind of fucked up but the boat blew up and dio did it anyway. erina survived though

im putting these under a cut cause it got long as fuck but heres your jojo summaries

part 2 battle tendency is like. joseph who is jonathans thotty grandson teams up with caesar zeppeli (italian) (gay) to defeat the pillar men which include kars (milf) esidisi (milfs live in boyfriend) wamuu (adopted son). another milf called lisa lisa trains them into their shounen powers and then esidisi shows up and kills the teachers aides and possesses lisa lisas assistant and then dies. basically they all get into this arena deathmatch involving zombie horses and kars grows wings and runs around all sexy for a little bit before getting launched into space. caesar gets crushed by a stone cross after making a gay ass speech. love loses. also it turns out lisa lisa was josephs mom the whole time.

part 3 stardust crusaders i kind of hate but i love the characters so basically jotaro kujo (josephs grandson) um he gets his stand and hes like whats this evil spirit i have to be locked in prison for everyones protection. and then his mom gets a stand too but sike women arent people so shes going to die. this is of course dios fault and they have to kill dio. kakyoin tries to kill jotaro and then jotaro pulls the worm out of his head and theyre best friends after that. polnareff tries to kill avdol and avdol sets him on fire and theyre [redacted] after that. they all go on a wacky roadtrip to cairo to kill dio during which kakyoin feeds a baby its own shit and avdol fakes his death for a little over a week. killing dio doesnt go great and vanilla ice sucks avdol into the void and kills their dog iggy and i hate watching that part. kakyoin is crushed under the weight of his own hubris. dio thinks hes sexy for being able to stop time but jotaro can also stop time and he kills dio. jotaros very traumatized due to the entire experience. for some reason both polnareff and joseph survive. the end

part 4 diamond is unbreakable is basically josuke higashikata whos josephs kid out of wedlock hunting down a serial killer with a hand fetish. jotaro is there hes a marine biologist now and josuke is technically his uncle. theres also josukes best friend okuyasu theyre a lil gay but thats alright we like them. also got short king koichi and yukako. and evil twink mangaka rohan. its like murder mystery except a lil more fucked up cause its jojo. ultimately kira (murderer with hand fetish) gets his ultimate powers that manipulate time and space but it doesnt even matter cause josuke has protagonist disease okuyasu dies for like 10 mins but he gets better. kira gets punched into the street by jotaro and then an ambulance runs him over and he dies.

part 5 vento aureo is giorno giovanna whos dios kid but hes also jonathans kid bc dio fucked with jonathans body and thats how giorno was born. he kind of acts like dio if dio had jonathans moral code and hes blond. anyway hes 15 and he joins the mafia because he wants to end heroin abuse and he ends up getting god timespace manipulation powers and killing the boss diavolo but half of his friends are killed horribly so that sucks. and then he becomes the don of the italian mafia. and hes still 15. also polnareff is there for a minute he gets killed sort of but his ghost possesses a turtle so hes giornos turtle after that i guess.

part 6 stone ocean my favorite part cause theres finally lesbianism. jolyne who is jotaros daughter is in prison bc she got framed for murder by her boyfriend. jotaros been an absent father due to him having personal problems. he shows up to break her out of prison but he gets his soul and his stand turned into discs and pulled out of his head and he goes into a coma and most of the rest is jolyne trying to get the discs back. she has 2 girlfriends called hermes and foo fighters who is technically a mass of sentient plankton. weather report (sexy) and anasui (ugly) are also there. the main antagonist is pucci who is a priest and was also dios best friend when he (pucci) was 16 for some reason. by the end they get jotaros discs back and pucci successfully starts manipulating reality itself and it turns out weather report was his brother all along and their backstory is REALLY fucked up and then jotaro comes back and anasui is like jotaro can i marry your daughter and hes like no and then everyone gets killed and pucci resets the universe but emporio the ten year old theyve been hanging out with gets weather reports stand and uses it to follow pucci through the universe resets and he ends up creating one where pucci never existed. it ends with “irene” kujo meeting hermes and anasui/weather report are also there. its implied that this is a new universe where none of the bad shit ever happened. emporio is crying. it kind of sucks

part 7 steel ball run i really dont know how to summarize but basically johnny joestar whos like alt universe jonathan but actually not really like that at all. hes also paralyzed from the waist down and he wishes he wasnt. um he meets an italian (gyro zeppeli) and they go on a horse race across america to track down the body of christ. they meet diego brando whos like dio but hes more about class warfare than megalomania and hot pants who has a stand that lets her turn her flesh into spray. diegos stand is that he can turn himself and other living things into dinosaurs. johnny can shoot his fingernails like bullets. anyway they end up fighting the president of the united states (funny valentine) who was trying to turn lucy steele whos only like 14 into a vessel for the corpse of jesus or something and he kills gyro and hotpants and diego and johnnys like this sucks but sends him into an infinite death loop bc hes a dimension hopper but he just keeps dying over and over again in any dimension he goes into. and he deserved it

part 8 jojolion i havent read but gappy seems like a nice guy

[llamamicrowave]

My Big Family on AO3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25871098/chapters/62862025

Summary:

Jojo sibling AU Stands still exits. Jonathan has a slightly stronger version of hermit purple. And to compensate for such a weak stand he and Joseph learned Hamon. Johnny and Gappy are their cousins who live in America. Ships in tags

Notes:

Pure cringe. Beware..

Chapter 1

School Sux PT.1Chapter Text

Ships (Minor but exist)

-JonaErina (The only important one)

-Joseph x Suzi Q x Ceaser (Leave me alone)

-JotaKak

-Very minor GioTrish

-Jolyne x Ermes

-GyJo

Jonathan POV

Hi! My name is Jonathan Joestar! A little about my self? Well, I'm 26, I have 4 younger siblings that I take care of since my father is always working. But it's fine I love taking care of them! I have a girlfriend, her name is Erina Pendleton and I'm planning to propose to her soon! Please don't tell her that, or any of my bothers, I don't want them to roast me for being a softy again.

Even though I am the oldest I can't be there some times, so when I'm not there my brother Joseph is in charge. But Joseph sometimes can be... How can I say this without sounding rude? Stupid? Immature? Idiotic? Well, yes to all of those.

Since Joseph can be a bit dumb at times, dad gives responsibly to Jotaro. He's pretty chill but sometimes can come off as rude. It's all a fake though, he loves marine life (especially dolphins lol) and when he was ten he told me he wanted to be a Marine Biologist! So in short, he's a dork.

Then there's Josuke and Jolyne the twins. There the youngest in the family. Josuke is the oldest by a few minutes. He's a goofball but can be serious if needed. Like if someone insults his hair he could go as some might say, Apeshit.

Jolyne, our only sister. Her personality is much like Jotaro. She just says whatever she wants, whenever she wants. I can't really say much about her since I'm being blackmailed by her and Jotaro. They're so alike it's scary.

I know I said I only had 4 siblings but there's another I didn't mention. 3 years before Joseph was born my father adopted a "friend" of his's son, Dio Brando. Dio was, excuse my language, a dick ever since we were kids. He ran over my dog Danny with one of his "friends" cars. As soon as Dio turned 18 he moved to Italy to become a lawyer. But that wasn't the last time I saw him.

While in Italy Dio, had a child with a woman he didn't even know. That woman neglected her son and allowed her husband to abuse him.

"She would leave days at a time and leave little food for him." I looked at the toddler sleeping in his arms, he had black hair and a cute bowl cut. "He's only a kid, he can't survive like that," Dio said to me.

"..."

"I can't let him have the same childhood as me." he looked dead into my eyes. I finally understood where he was coming from torturing me all these years.

"..." I stayed quiet.

"But I'm not taking care of this kid."

And now he lives with us! His name is Giorno Giovanna-Brando-Joestar. He is only a year younger then Josuke and Jolnye. And that's my family!

And remember when I said my dad works a lot, that was a lie...

He died on Jotaro's 11th birthday. He and my stepmother were hit by a drunk driver. Jotaro blames himself for the crash. It's not his fault though, he had no control over it. He was only a kid. I'm sorry to drop this on you now but with my father's death made me like a father figure to them. Dad would be proud.

Ages,

Jonathan- 26

Johnny- 22

Joseph- 20

Jo2uke- 19

Jotaro- 17

Josuke- 16

Jolyne- 16

Giorno- 15

Narrator POV

Jonathan woke up first as normal and recapped his schedule,

Ok, so I have to make breakfast, Make sure they're ready for school, go to work, and meet up with Erina, and? What else do I have to do? ...Oh yeah! Take away Joseph's phone for getting arrested yesterday! Next time he should, you know, not try and run over his WHEELCHAIR BOND COUSIN! Goodness, I got angry again, sorry about that.

Jonathan arose from his bed and began his morning routine. He showered, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and got ready for the day.

He then started to make breakfast for his big family.

Joseph likes bacon with coffee.

Jotaro likes toast with coffee.

Josuke likes eggs with juice.

Jolyne likes yogurt with coffee.

And Giorno likes vegan pancakes with tea.

Oh yeah, Johnny, and Gappy and/or Jo2uke are staying with us! I wonder what they want? I'll just make them eggs.

A door opens from upstairs. Giorno walks out from his room to the bathroom to get ready for school. He liked waking up before the rest of his family.

When Giorno was done getting ready he walked down the stairs, and greeted Jonathan as he sat down.

"Good Morning, Jonathan."

"Good Morning! Did you sleep well?" Jonathan asked.

"Yeah, I think s-" He was cut off by a door slamming shut. Very loudly.

"Must be Jotaro. Jolyne must have gotten in the bathroom first." Giorno commented.

Jonathan laughed. "I guess so."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good Morning, retards!" Jolyne came prancing down the stairs.

"Jolyne, that isn't nice," Jonathan said sternly.

"You're right, Joseph isn't here right now." she sat down. Jonathan sighed. saying nothing back to her, defeated.

"Where is Joseph anyway?" Giorno asks.

Jonathan scoffs, "I told him to be awake at 6:00 sharp."

"Why 6:00?" Jolyne asked

"That's his punishment for trying to run over Johnny yesterday."

"Ohh yeah! I remember now!"

"Your next line will be, 'The things he'll do for 20 bucks,'!" a voice from inside the pantry spoke.

"The things he'll do for 20 bucks- JOSEPH!" Jolyne yelled.

Joseph popped out of the pantry fully dressed and looking proud.

"I've been up since 4 am!" he said proudly.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Jotaro said sarcastically walking down the stairs.

"Yes actually, Ocean Man!"

"What did you say?" Jotaro asked sternly. Even though Joseph was 3 years older than him they were about the same size.

"He called you, OCEAN. MAN! O-C-E-A-N M-A-N!" Josuke called from the upstairs bathroom.

"Fuck off." Jotaro sat down. "Langage, Jotaro!" Jonathan told him.

"Joot, you seem more pissy than usual, are you on your period?" Jolyne asked smugly.

"Jolyne, I'm not in a good mood and I want you to know I will not hesitate to choke you out and then feed it to your simp."

"Anasui is not a simp!" Jolyne defended.

"Funny, how you knew who I was talking about without saying his name."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Have fun at school!" Jonathan yelled at his younger siblings.

"Yeah, fun and school don't mix well," Jolyne yelled back.

Joseph usually carpools with Ceasar and Smokey. Jotaro drives him and his friends to school with Jonathan's car. (Jonathan drives there dads car to work). Jolyne caught a ride with her girlfriend Ermes. Josuke walked with his friends Okuyasu and Koichi. And Giorno either walked by himself or ride with his older friend Bruno, today he was alone with his thoughts.

Joseph POV

"Ugh, collage sucks!" I groaned. "Suck it up buttercup It's only the beginning of the year," Ceasar said, reading a book.

Asshole.

We were in the library supposed to be studying but I got a bit distracted. See Suzi Q was also in the library, by herself. Nobody around her, the perfect opportunity to ask her out, but this blonde bubble-blowing bitc-

"Stop staring at Suzi, it's starting to get creeping now," Ceasar said still looking at the book.

"And why should I?"

"1. We should be studying, and 2. Your so small no girl wants to date you." that asshole wrote something in his notebook.

I. Was. Annoyed to say the least. I mean it's true, BUT YOU DON'T SAY IT! So I did the only rational thing, put him in a headlock.

Good thing the library was empty except for a couple of people who were used to our bullshit by now.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU BUFFOON!?" Ceasar said, or at least tried too.

Ha, get rekt, bitch.

Jotaro POV

"Ugh, I hate school."

"Can you stop being edgy for 5 seconds?" Polnareff asked.

Dick,

"Can you guys stop arguing and actually help!" Avdol said while he was doing the science assignment, I don't know why. Fucken dork.

"Kakyoin is literally sleeping!" Polnareff wined.

"Kakyoin has had a long day."

"Yeah... what are we talking about?"

"So, sleeping beauty is finally up," I say.

"I know you meant that as an insult but I'm taking it as a compliment, Aurora was fabulous!" Kak laughed like the maniacal little gay shit he is.

"Aww, you guys are so cute!"

"Polnareff focus on the experiment!-" the test tube cut him off, by exploding.

"..."

"Finally something exciting," I said because it was fucking epic.

"I mean this would not have happened Joot and Kak weren't flirting with each other."

"Wtf."

Josuke POV

"Math is hardddddd."

"It's not that hard, Oku."

"Bullshit."

"Okuyasu, you should probably pay attention to my lesson instead of complaining." our math and gym/Hamon teacher Lisa-Lisa said to my friend Okuyasu, and trust me no one wants to get on her bad side, the last person to do that was Joseph, he still has nightmares, and he graduated.

"Yes, Josuke?"

"Is this going to be on the test?" I ask so I could know what to remember.

"Most of it will. But if you're asking me if you should listen in class or not, the answer is yes." it felt like she stared into my soul at that list part.

The bell rang

Lunch finally! Freedom at last!

"Your homework is to study for the quiz I'm giving you on an undisclosed date!"

Giorno POV

I walk over to bleachers outside of school where my friends (And Abbacchio) usually eat.

"Hey, guys." I quietly say. Right now there is only, Bruno, Abbacchio, Mista, and... Trish. Anyways as soon as Fugo and Narancia get here the peace will be ruined. Right now Bruno was talking to Mista and Trish about some party this Friday, and Abbacchio was on his phone with headphones on.

"Hello Giorno, how was your morning," Bruno asked.

"Eh, it was fine. Jolyne almost got ORAed."

"What else is new," Trish said drinking her mineral water. Wow shes really pretty, what?

"SUP BITCHES!" Narancia ran up to the bleachers with Fugo following behind him, sighing. Well, that was fun while it lasted.

[xoruffitup]

Adam Driver on SNL: 1/25 Dress Rehearsal Recap

I’m having dejavu of the best kind. I’m sitting here on the bus on my way back from NYC in hungover euphoria and overjoyed disbelief at everything I just experienced, texting new friends and old, recounting everything in my head and smiling so hard. The September 2018 weekend of Adam’s last SNL show lives in my memory in unmatched infamy, so my excitement was off the charts to do it all again. And because this show was absolutely fucking INCREDIBLE, this weekend delivered in every way all over again!! Seriously, my face aches from how I can’t stop smiling aksnksj HELP :’)

My friends and I were in the Dress Rehearsal, so below the cut are retellings of ALLLL the skits including those cut from the Live show - and no small amount of helpless emotional flailing.

I had an idea of what to expect after attending Adam’s 2018 show, but I nevertheless felt sky-high levels of anxiety when Sarah and we arrived at the NBC shop at 6:30. I knew rationally that our chances of getting into Dress were good with numbers #12 - 14, but every now and then there’s the occasional oddity of only a handful of Standby people getting in. Though even without any uncertainty in the equation, my entire being goes on Hyped/Anxious Overdrive anyway whenever I’m about to be in the same space as Adam sO really there’s nothing for it. :’)

They lined us up by numbers, I did a lot of emotional wobbling like “I can’t believe we’re here again together guys waaaah” (have I mentioned I met these girls at Adam’s last show? Full circle moment of the highest and most beautiful caliber and it had me hella verklempt), and thennnn - drumroll and hushed silence please - the main security guy comes up to the giant line and asks the first 20 people to come with him.

As they constantly remind you throughout this thoroughly nerve-wracking process, there is no guarantee you’ll actually get into the show until you’re physically in the seat. It’s a long, harrowing trip from the NBC store where the line gathers, up stairs, elevators, and through hallways to reach the studio, and you can still be cut even as far as the very last checkpoint if all seats fill up with the people ahead of you. So as you get closer, the excitement spikes higher and higher but so does the worry! We went through security, and then I clung to our new Standby line friend Catherine’s arm as they lined us up two-by-two on the first staircase, with Sarah and @reylonly right behind. I was likely extremely annoying as I couldn’t help being rambly and weird in my nerves and compulsively hugging my girls’ arms. @reylonly did her very best to calm my hot mess down, bless her.

About 45 minutes later (Maybe? I had no idea what time was, lbr) we reached the final point of the elevator and last hallway, and were held just outside the studio. THEN - the woman there instructed the next 4 to follow her in (thank GOD because we were terrified of being split up), WE WENT INTO THE STUDIO WHEW YAYAY OMFG WE WERE THERE!!! - but then oh no it happened so fast that she pointed @reylonly down to a single seat in the center and then the other 3 of us to seats towards the left side of the stage. They were all single seats, but thank GOSH they were all end seats of rows right next to each other. So Sarah was right in front of me and I could grab her shoulder (which I would do a lot in increasingly desperate excitement over the next 2 hours), and Catherine and I could reach across the aisle to cling to each other’s hands! @reylonly was on her own but in an incredible seat, and during commercial breaks we would lean forward to wave and blow kisses to each other and mime flailing or crying as one incredible sketch after another played out in front of us. I made sure to be friendly and talk to the people sitting next to me so they wouldn’t be too annoyed with me and Sarah always grabbing at each other, but LOL they probably thought I was at least a little insane. I mean, maybe for the moment alone when I saw a girl I’d made friends with in line but then lost track of in a seat not too far from me, and we started waving and dabbing at each other. Once we were seated there in the studio, all the anxiety gave way to surging excitement and I was practically bouncing in my seat, so overjoyed to be there and see my dear fandom friends there with me!

Michael Che warmed up the audience with some standup, the House band jammed, and Sarah and I momentarily got Extremely Excited when we saw them setting up the hell backdrop set for the cold open and thought at the time it was supposed to be Tattooine for a Star Wars skit, lolol. But then the actual show started, and with our Adam-eagle eyes Catherine reached out to whisper “there he is! In the blonde wig!” And, heart in my throat no matter how many times I see this man in person, I frantically squinted at all the people waiting just off to the side of the set until I saw that unmistakably Tol Broad back, and then he stepped onto the set and into the lighted camera’s view and I was cheering and clapping so hard for his first appearance that I couldn’t hear who he was supposed to be playing. xD I was just tapping Sarah’s shoulder in front of me, bouncing in my seat a little, and trying not to start levitating with the sheer force of my excitement and joy to be there.

OKAY from here I’ll break this up by skit! Anything that was different or missing from the Live show I put in bold font if you want to skip to that! Starting with...

Intro Monologue

WHAT A GOOD MONOLOGUE, ITS LIKE THEY JUST LET ADAM RUN WITH IT AND WRITE IT HIMSELF IT WAS SO HIM AND HILARIOUS AND WEIRD AND YET CHARMING IDEK I WILL NEVER COMPREHEND THE WONDER OF THIS MAN??

So when he dropped the bomb of “I’m a husband and a FATHER” I clapped Sarah’s shoulder SO HARD, then he made he joke “I’ve made it very clear to my son that he’s second in everything” and I could not bELIEVE the wonder of what I was hearing omfg. I heard the words “my son” come out of his mouth with my own ears WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED, SURE AS HELL NOT ME????

Then he went into the audience to demonstrate how “approachable” he is and was so awk/weird/hilarious I was just losing it, then took his time meandering around the stage and making weird faces into the camera and I was just LOSING IT. And AKSKSJA after that he wandered over to another camera that was lower and kind of hummed as he lifted his shirt and put it over the camera so we got a full on belly button view for 2 unbelievable glorious seconds!! He looked up at the monitors as he was doing it and went “oh you can’t see anything” so that’s probably why he sadly didn’t flash his belly in the Live show.

“Cheer” with Adam as one of the team coaches

I’m going by the skit order in Dress, and this one was first after the monologue. Best part for me was the accent reminiscent of Clyde Logan. :3 But tbh, of the 6 skits they did for the Live show, I kind of wish this one had been swapped for the one performed last in Dress that was sO Wild and would have made fandom absolutely lose its shit aksnksal more to come on that.

UNDERCOVER BOSS AKA RANDY THE INTERN

THE BEST GIFT WE COULD HAVE RECEIVED!! BLESS YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR GIVING US KYLO CONTENT TO BE HAPPY OVER AND LOVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY. T___T

Honestly, I cannot even properly describe my reaction when the Undercover Boss intro logo appeared on all the monitors oHMYLoRDDD. I nearly leapt out of my seat, like my heart nearly jumped clear out of my chest oh my fuck and I was legit holding onto Sarah so much I almost slid out of my seat - I just couldn’t believe it and I cheered SO LOUD. The entire audience erupted with this “HOLY SHIT” vibe outburst and I was SO happy to be there in that moment - knowing that our entire fandom was only hours away from this!! I honestly didn’t expect it at all - after they didn’t do one of these the second time Adam was on, I thought there was no chance. But IT HAPPENED AND IT WAS SO QUALITY HILARIOUS WE ARE SO BLESSED - THANK YOU TO RANDY’S LIL BEANIE AND VEST AND HIPSTER PANTS.

Pretty sure I like half curled up on myself laughing so hard my feet left the floor at OK BOOMER. And at the part with “will Rey take his hand?” I swear MY SOUL NEAR LEFT MY BODY I MEAN IS THIS THE REAL LIFE IS THIS JUST FANTASYYYY

..... Can someone come promise me we really didn’t just collectively hallucinate that??

SAG Awards Fashion Red Carpet

I’m not too disappointed this one was cut. Of all the amazing skits performed, I would have ranked this one lower. Adam and Kenan Thompson were fashion critics talking about celebs’ looks on the SAG red carpet. A minute in Adam says, “We should be paying more attention to the kids!” Kenan: *nervous laugh* “uh, should we??” Adam starts talking about/admiring the outfits for like Finn Wolfhard etc, with hilarious but bordering creepy descriptions like “masculine but not quite fully grown,” until Kenan is like “umm maybe we shouldn’t be talking about kids this much?”

They interview a girl who’s supposed to be Jojo Siwa and Adam’s like “you should know I think you’re beautiful. Kids need to hear more often that they’re beautiful.” Kenan panics, going “alRIGHT we’re gonna cut back to the studio now!” The skit ended with Adam: “I got a ticket to the Nickelodeon afterparty and I’m gonna swipe one of those kids in my pocket!”

“Slow” Digital Short

HONESTLY, this competes with Undercover Boss for my favorite skit of the night. I can’t even tell you - I had literal tears running down my face I was laughing SO fucking hard during this entire thing. From the first moment we heard Adam’s deep-ass voice I absolutely and entirely lost my shit oh my GOD. We’d been so pumped for Adam in some kind of rap sketch when we saw the photos of him and Kenan filming the day before, but it was SO FUCKING GOOD. I will never ever in all my days not bust out laughing at “Bring that ass here” and “In a 65 hour lane going 2” aksnskns I’m on the bus struggling to fight back laughter just thinking about it SEND HELP!!!

It’s just brilliant. The turtle next to his expensive loafers. His cheesy sunglasses. That shot of his glorious bare arms. His deep voice “Baby” when they’re at the door and “But I brought ice cream” oh my god I love it so much BLESS YOU SNL BLESS YOU. I never in all my days thought I’d get Adam rapping but it’s every single thing I never knew I needed.

Del Taco Commercial / “Aw Man I’m All Outta Cash!”

ADAM’S SLEAZY LOOKING LONG WIG LMAO. This one was a wild and funny time once you got into it and just let it go. Once Kyle, Beck, and Adam were all yelling the line and Adam went “You don’t want to kill yourself, you just want a taco, Jesus” everyone was ROLLING. I think the only difference (is this even worth color coding lol) was that after Kyle took his pants off Adam kept slapping his thigh during Dress bahaha.

“Hot Dad” Adam dealing with a clogged toilet at a teenaged girls’ sleepover

Adam and Kate McKinnon comedy together YES PLEASE. This one was all the same as far as I can remember, but I will say that a woop/cheer rose from the people sitting near the set for this one at the line about Adam being a “hot Dad.” Yep sounds about right.

(Halsey’s first song, Weekend Update)

Medieval Renaissance Fair

You can’t have Adam host SNL without giving him some ridiculous character skit ala Oil Baron Parnassus. I absolutely loved how intense and deep he was for this kind of nonsense xD We can thank this skit for giving us footage of Adam yelling “Whore!” and spitting, lmao. Also.... I’ll just say in that outfit and wig he looked even Extra Big in comparison to everyone around him.

Courtroom Trial / Sinbad on Cameo

I’m also okay with this one being cut, but I was biased to enjoy the hell out of it live because the set was right in front of where I was sitting and I had such a perfect view of him. <3

Adam was supposed to be the defendant in a case where a female coworker claims he harassed her by sending “threatening” videos. Adam goes up on the stand and the prosecutor asks “are you familiar with these videos?” Cut over to Kenan Thompson, who’s pretending to be Sinbad on the app Cameo, making videos for the woman that are like “Hey you better give Mark a chance! Otherwise he might come after you!” Adam responds with disbelief: “I have no idea who this Sinbad person is and frankly, your honor, this is pissing me off.” Kenan acts a few more videos which keep getting funnier because he keeps eating things or being in crowded public places while filming them. But in the final video he references Adam’s character’s name so it’s clear he was the one requesting the videos. Adam gets all sad on the stand: “It doesn’t matter. No one likes me anyway!” It ends with Kenan as Sinbad crashing into the courtroom in person.

This was more Kenan’s skit as he really was hilarious, but someone had to explain to me afterwards who Sinbad is and how the Cameo app works so I didn’t quite ~get it while watching. BUT more importantly - Adam looked great despite the weird brown wig he had on. During the second of Kenan’s videos when the cameras were on Kenan instead, Adam’s face definitely started quivering with suppressed laughter until he visibly locked it down like NO FOCUS ADAM. Most of my attention stayed fixed on the buttons of his shirt because hOOo boy were they straining! Without me even saying anything, Catherine reached across the aisle for me immediately afterwards and whispered, “That shirt did /not/ fit well.” OH YES I NOTICED >:33

PBS Science Show

Another one which was performed right directly in front of us!! I already knew this was going to be a good one because Adam went right over to the skeleton mannequin when he came on set and started playing with it, like making the arm and wrist wiggle around. The biggest dork cutie you’ll ever see.

He was standing right under me, which meant once he started handling the balloon I got mighty distracted watching his MASSIVE hands around that tiny-looking balloon. >:)) Then I cracked up so hard when he got exasperated and threw something back against the window. WE GOT TO SEE HIM SMASH SOMETHING IN PERSON YESSSS

Ketchup bottles

Oh my GOD EVERYTHING WAS AMAZING ABOUT THIS ONE FROM START TO FINISH. The best part though might have been the prep beforehand. Someone carried the giant Ketchup and hot sauce bottles onto the set before the actors came on and we were like wtf? (For a minute I was triggered remembering Kanye coming on in his Perrier bottle during the 2018 show) But THEN Adam and Cecily Strong came on in big red shirts and people started lifting the giant plastic bottles over them and LOL we realized where this was going. They definitely struggled for a minute getting Adam’s bottle up over his head because of his height xD People in the audience were already laughing just watching this costume set up, and once Adam got the bottle on a WOOT cheer rose which I later learned was none other than @reylonly aka my hero. It was followed by someone yelling “THATS HOT”, which akndosjan made Adam laugh and raise his arms with a hilarious little shimmy in the bottle. He really seemed to be enjoying himself during the whole show, but during this ridiculous and incredibly hilarious skit especially so.

Game Night / Movie Quote Competition

OKAY this is the skit it’s a real tragedy didn’t make it on air! There were lines in this I couldn’t beLiEvE my ears were hearing, and if we ever get a recording I’m pretty sure the fandom would basically implode. 

Three couples are sitting around a living room having a game night. Adam is sitting with Kate McKinnon with his arm around her. After they finish playing Settlers of Catan, Heidi Gardner suggests they play a movie quote game where one of them says a line from a movie and the rest have to guess the movie. She is clearly very into it, and the others reluctantly agree. It quickly becomes clear that Adam is just as good at the game as she is, and they immediately start becoming competitive. They reach the point where they quote three lines from Captain Phillips in a row, trying to trick each other. As the game gets more heated, they exchange aggressive flirty banter such as:

Heidi: You really know your movie quotes, huh? Adam: Yeah I do. Heidi: And with some BDE over there. Adam: Yeah, I got that too.

AND !!!!!!!!!!

Heidi: You’re quite the movie flick daddy. Adam: I’m the world’s biggest flick daddy.

!!!!!!!!! HE CALLED HIMSELF A DADDY HELP CALL 911 EMERGENCY !!!!!!!!!!

The game keeps escalating until Kate tries to calm Adam down and he brushes her off. Everyone else tries to tell Heidi to relax, and she responds “What?! I’m supposed to lie back and let (Kate’s character’s name)’s hot husband rail me??”

I WAS FLOATING ON THE CEILING BY THIS POINT, I literally couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing alsdfjsldafjlsdkfj!

It gets to the point where they’re both standing, shouting completely vague snippets of lines at each other while the other continues to guess correctly. Until finally Adam exclaims, “I got a good one!” He grabs her and fULL ON kisses her. 

(Pictures from The Adam Driver Files twitter.)

Immediately afterwards she goes, “I know! That was the kiss from (Movie X - I can’t remember the exact title).” Adam: “HOW DID YOU KNOW?!” Heidi: “From how you moved your tongue!”

I’m still reeling from this one. Adam calling himself a daddy, talk of “getting railed” by him, and intense kissing?! Oh my lORDDDD. I’m still trying to keep it playing on a loop in my ears. I’m not sure if we as a fandom could collectively survive a full video of this, but GOD I hope we get the chance to test ourselves. RELEASE THE UNAIRED VIDEO, YOU NBC COWARDS!!!

FLICK DADDY INDEED

...Aaaaaaand that was a wrap! After 10 skits and nearly 2.5 hours, it literally felt like I had run a marathon at a full sprint. I was just trying to process everything I’d just witnessed, while trying to focus on committing every single thing to memory. I just couldn’t believe the range of amazing and hilarious things I’d just seen Adam doing: Play a talking ketchup bottle, call himself a daddy, awkwardly talk about feminine products clogging his toilet, yell “WHORE” then spit and swing a medieval mace around, rap hilariously, and yell about umami?? It was all almost TOO MUCH. 

For full-circle and emotional fulfillment reasons, I wore my Save Ben Solo shirt to the show just like I did at the 2018 show. I had debated beforehand whether it would be too bittersweet to wear it after TROS, but now I’m so glad I did. All these hilarious and zany skits were just what we all needed to continue the cycle of fandom excitement and positivity despite the last month. I’m so incredibly grateful to SNL for such great material for Adam to work with and us to laugh at, and for giving us the perfect reminder that there’s still so much to whole-heartedly appreciate and love. Most of all, Adam himself. <3

THANK YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR ANOTHER LIFE-HIGHLIGHT WEEKEND! <3