#anyway I am so normal about our characters(lying)

[bunnieswithknives]

hello! Quick question, my friend is writing a YHS FIC and they really want to get the characters accurate. Do you have any major personality details about YHS!Bunny and what their goals are? Of why they want to investigate and stuff like that?

Also, if you don’t mind: In the Mx. Sinister animatic, there was a scene with bunny and a bunch of written papers and we’re having trouble deciphering some of them. What does this one say?

Thanks in advance!!

Bunny is meant to be a character with schizophrenia, though I'm sure my portrayal isn't very accurate(partially just because I suck at staying in character lol) but this is nonetheless a central part of them!

Bunny's delusions and paranoia lead them to very frequently feel unsafe and isolated. Even when they aren't experiencing hallucinations, their negative symptoms mean they struggle to keep friends.

The disappearances caused a very sharp spike in their symptoms. Nova, previously being one of their few friends a suddenly withdrawing' and having 180 personality shift and was massive hit to their very slim social life and an even bigger hit to their paranoia. I'd say that was the moment when they went from a more passive paranoia to full blown red-string conspiracy, and obsessively taking pictures of everyone and everything (The polaroid camera is a result of one of their delusions, they are terrified of anything hosted digitally being tampered with and so the polaroid are loophole that they can use to assure themself of reality)

Bunny's main goal in life is to feel safe. Unfortunately for bunny, that's kind of unattainable in a town like that.

Especially in the current arc of having been kidnapped and tortured... yeah lets just say they aren't doing so well. Quite a few things they were paranoid about have been validated, they are in constant agony from their missing face chunk and they have developed multiple substance addictions from being force fed pills. Their safety is now totally and utterly out of their hands and I think its kind of broken them a little bit, they are so miserable and hopeless that its kind of wrapped back around. To put it simply they definitely have some Stockholm syndrome going on.

Fizzy takes care of them, Fizzy helps feed them, Fizzy makes sure they don't bleed to death after Chaos hurts them.

Chaos likes(?) their company, Chaos gives them happy pills, Chaos doesn't kill them.

In a very twisted way Fizzy and Chaos are all that they have, and the only people who still care about them.

As for the photo:

it doesn't say anything in particular, its meant to be incoherent nonsense but if I remember correctly its "No" "Yakuza?" "Could be" "Spies?" "Maybe"

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Miracle Creator's Chapter 143

TLDR; Everyone worried about Cale. Toonka spreading Caleism to Evil Faction members. HD visits Cale in his bedroom at midnight.

Soos? LSH = ✅ CJS = ✅

Everyone's Reactions Brain Demon: *speechless* Raon: Human! Human! Cale: (This is driving me nuts! I'd rather faint!) VoH: *energetic* Cale, you need to cough more blood to feel better! Raon: Human! No! Don't faint! Wake up! Ron: Young master. Cale: (Is that vicious voice Ron's? It's kinda scary. Why is it like this every time? No, it's okay if I cough blood, but can't I cough blood gracefully and normally?) VoH: Impossible. Cale, how is coughing blood graceful? Cale: P-Please...*coughs* ...I-I know-... HD: ...Did you know it would be like this? ...Did you agree to the experiment knowing that you'd cough blood like this? Why did you not tell me beforehand then? If you had told me, I would have found another way! How can you take your life so lightly! *feels angry and guilty* Cale: (No, no. That's not what it is. When I first heard the plan, I thought it was worth a try! But while I was doing it, I had a hunch that it was going bad, so this happened!) Cale: *closes his eyes in frustration because he couldn't say aloud his feelings* Raon: Human, no! Wake up! I will destroy everything! *touches Cale's cheeks* Cale: (I didn't pass out!) *opens eyes because of Raon* Cale: (Is this supposed to be horror? My appearance must be more horrible than most ghosts or monsters.) *laughs at the thought* HD: *no longer calm* Are you in the mood to laugh now? Ron: He must be. *smiles* We will take care of the young master. CH and Beacrox: *takes Cale from HD and supports him* Sui: *sighs and presses his temples* CJS: *hides face behind his hat but unable to hide his fluctuating energy* While everyone was panicking, Cale was like "How do I cough blood gracefully?" and "I must look more horrible than monsters and ghosts"... 🤣🤣🤣

HD joins the worrying-about-Cale club. And VoH talks back at Cale's wish to cough blood gracefully 😂

Unfortunately, we didn't see Raon shoving apple pie in Cale's mouth.

As for the other people, Splitter Saint was in awe of Cale's sacrifice and came to a realization something. He wished to be Cale's disciple, but knew his chance was slim, so he said that YMKim would be his master in his heart. And Elder Ho was agreeing like he understood, being the Caleism believer he is. 😂

Toonka Spreading Caleism This part was touching and funny for me. The Sima siblings and Ha Mun were worried about Cale, but Toonka just laughed and reassured them that Cale would be fine. He then proceeds to tell them about Cale's past blood coughing episodes and sacrifices, and everyone listens intently... Ah, is this the beginning of Caleism in the Evil Faction? 🤣

The flashback of Cale and Toonka's conversation was also funny: Cale: Toonka. Are you close with the Evil Faction these days? Toonka: Yes! We fight every day! Cale: Good. Then continue being friends with the people from the Evil Faction. Don't get hurt. Ah, what am I saying? Toonka: Hahaha! Cale: Sigh. Anyway, find out what they are doing.

Cale is still in denial that he's worried about Toonka. 🤣🤣🤣

There was also another part where Toonka thought that Cale would be fine because he was not the kind of person to die and leave the young dragon behind. He believed that Cale would not turn away from someone weaker (originally) than him, someone he needed to protect. Aww... 🥰

Heavenly Demon's Night Visit Another funny part. HD visited Cale in the middle of the night and found him lying on the bed in agony. But our tsundere Cale claimed that he was perfectly fine, having been full from the steak and cookies he had eaten... Of course, HD did not believe him. 😂

Ending Remarks Frankly, I was disappointed that the reaction of LSH and CJS was only one sentence while the murim world characters had paragraphs of it. 😑 Toonka's thoughts were quite endearing though.

Next chapter will be more HD and Cale conversation, so look forward to it!

P.S. Here's a fanart I drew of HD supporting the bloody Cale (and the reason why I posted my reaction post so late, ehehe):

The Korean characters on the left are "Heavenly Demon and Cale."

[underwaterbanshee]

I love your post about Tula, I just finished the latest ep of burrows end and I am SCROUNGING for theories.

What do you think she was ‘fundamentally lying’ about?? I’ve seen a couple posts floating around:

- one was how maybe Geoffrey could’ve been a bad husband and Tula didn’t save him because of it (maybe killed him?)

- Another was, maybe the Blue (radiation?) is killing her to use it?

- Another good one, was maybe Tula isn’t their (Jaysohn and Lila’s) bio mother.

I don’t have a very good or original educational guess, but I don’t think she killed Geoffrey. I do think she knows what did, and she’s lying so her children aren’t vengeful. She doesn’t want her children chasing power, to avenge their dad, or getting caught up in what he was deeply in.

I think it’s been said before, but in some of Geoffrey’s art he has a little grass belt, and the only other stoats we’ve seen have tools/clothes, was in Last Bast. (I can see the connection there, but we’ve also seen Viola have ‘accessories’, so it could just be a red herring.)

I think maybe Tula knows more about Last Bast (or humans) than she lets on, possibly from Geoffrey (if the grass belt is a connection.) I think Geoffrey saw something, or knew something in Last Bast, and ran. Eventually, he found the red Warren, fell in love, and started a family.

Now with an invested interest to keep his family safe, he’s using what he learned in Last Bast in the Red Warren, which somehow got him killed. (By a human? Maybe? The humans that saw Thorn seemed more interested than expressing a want to kill him - maybe humans want to test the stoats for radiation sickness, or something like that?) it’s giving watership down meets Chernobyl, the natural world clashing with human disasters.

Just some thoughts! I feel like there’s so many clues and pieces on the board, but no lines connecting them. There’s an allegory that I’m not catching, and it’s driving me NUTS.

What do you make of this? :)

(sorry for the long ask! Just excited!)

omg this is my very first ask and I'm trying to be normal about it

So, it's been a few days and I've been going over this in my head and here are my conclusions to your lovely, lovely ask <3

The lie is probably something incredibly mundane.

Adults lie to children all the time. Lila is going through what every child goes through as they become a teenager--she's starting to see the cracks between reality, truth, and the fictions adults use to process an unfair world.

I think it is entirely possible that when the lie is revealed, an adult audience might go, "Oh, that's not a big a deal," while Lila overreacts with betrayal.

It's entirely possible Geoffrey is from Last Bast.

The only thing I'm basing this on, besides character art, is that Tula is based on Mrs. Brisby from Secret of NIMH and Last Bast is giving me Rats of NIMH vibes, not secret authoritarian cult vibes (which is an entirely different post that I'll probably never write). I mean, the Rats had magic and electricity.

Also, Brian might be analogous to Jenner, the power hungry Rat, the First Stoats might be like Nicodemus, just like Bennett is probably Justin.

Did I want Bennett to be a fuckable version of Justin for Tula? Yes. But that's only because my childself wanted Justin and Mrs. Brisby to end up together. Baby Banshee didn't understand why that wouldn't work. She wanted love to win.

Anyway.

Based on how much the Red Warren Family popped off against Last Bast during this episode, I don't know if there will be more Secret of NIMH elements playing out. It's possible Tula could bring up Geoffrey and get confirmation on that but I don't think it's important to our stouts anymore.

But wouldn't it be interesting if Tula knew about Last Bast before they arrived? Didn't someone say something about lies of omission?

Mrs. Brisby's character arc is about having enough courage to move her family while her son has pneumonia. She confronts an owl, a cat, and a power hungry rat who deliberately puts moving the mouse family's home in jeopardy, in order to keep her family safe.

During most of the story, her children are in the dark about what she's doing to keep them alive and protect their future.

What an amazing archetype as Tula's touchstone.

One of the great things about the d20 campaigns is not only the mashup but how the players resolve the mashup after making a mess. I might be seeing lots of NIMH being laid down, now that the Watership Down portion is somewhat resolved but I'm prepared to be totally wrong as maybe our vicious varmints take us in a new direction.

Like I said--obsessed with Tula =^_^=

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

Dr. John Watson Propaganda:

He literally admits that he changes his stories. "One day the true stories may be told"? Do I need to say more?

Gideon Nav Propaganda:

(Spoilers for Ht9) She just. Fully ignores most of the magic plot happening around her in the first boom to be a dyke. In the second book it’s even less reliable and it’s fully fucking insane. It’s first person but she’s telling YOU (harrow) what is happening and it’s impossible to decipher. The appearance and personality of every character is fully morphed by Gideon’s mean dykishness.

MASSIVE spoilers. Like even mentioning that this is a thing is a huge fucking spoiler. I normally don’t care about spoilers that much but I legitimately feel awful for anyone with even a passing interest in reading these books who has this spoiled for them. Anyway. Yeah turns out the second-person narration is actually a first-person narration by the dead girl living in Harrow’s head whose death traumatized Harrow (and the entire fandom) so badly that she literally lobotomized herself to forget it and give Gideon a chance at not having her soul digested.

constantly adds her own commentary, does not pay attention to the interesting moving parts of the plot bc she's too busy looking at pretty girls, cannot be trusted to read her own intentions correctly never mind anyone else's. I love her dearly

she just doesn’t notice or doesn’t give a shit about a ton of plot-essential information. Harrow and Palamedes are talking about a necromantic theorem that would blow open the entire story if we could hear them? You can instantly feel Gideon’s eyes glaze over and her mind wander to the nearest available hot girl, and our attention goes with her. It’s handled so smoothly that you might not even notice it happening until a second or third read.

More Propaganda under cut!

Gideon Nav is all but useless as a narrator, and we love her for it. So first of all, she knows absolutely nothing. She grew up under a rock. Almost literally. When the plot is happening near her, she almost never tells us about it. Politics, history, and the magic system are boring. Let her know when there's something she can FIGHT. She also has very selective emphasis and focus that can change a scene completely without ever actually lying. She can tell the same story—to us, in her third-person narration as a factual recounting—and in one version the incident will be a schoolyard scuffle, while a later telling will reveal it to have been a near-homicide. She'll confidently interpret other character's motivations and emotions, only to later be proven wrong. But the thing that makes her REALLY unreliable? She lies to HERSELF constantly. She will tell us in her narration that she doesn't give a shit where someone disappeared to, and then spend the whole day searching for them. She'll say she hates someone, when. Well....

okay so i am actually going to do one segment about her own book and one about harrow’s so many apologies and also many spoilers ahead okay? okay so in gideon the ninth it’s a well known thing that she’s an unreliable narrator on two fronts: she lies to herself and therefore us about how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, and also she isn’t paying attention to the plot at all. the only things she pays any attention to are hot girls, swords, and hot girls with swords. at one point she watches their only way out be sealed off and is so bored about it that she goes to sleep watching it happen, taking absolutely no note of “oh hey they’re trapping us here”. later someone asks IN FRONT OF HER “hey where did all our shuttles go” and shes like “😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌” and still does not make the connection. babygirl. but THEN!!!!! in HARROW the ninth (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD) gideon is the narrator the ENTIRE TIME (except for the revised canaan house parts) and not only does she editorialize, she also straight up lies about events and motivations! partially justified by her being inside harrow’s head, but like. babygirl. beloved. the interjections of “holy fuck” and “pommel” and othersuch things is so important to my mental health and wellbeing. thank you. thank you for lying to us so so much.

[rootbeerworshiper]

Normal (part 7)

pairing: fem!character + matt sturniolo

summery: Abigail and Matt have been best friends for years and practically grew up together. the two hiding their feelings for one another, until one stupid drunken dare changes things.

warnings: slight anxiety attack at the end but nothing too major

love, sienna <3

abigail’s pov again!

i’ve been back home for a few days now.

well, not home exactly, i haven’t spoken to my parents in years, but Marylou always insists i stay over for the duration of my visits so that’s exactly what i do.

it’s been good being back though.

i missed Nate so much and i’ve basically been hanging out with him every chance i get.

we’ve already have two “family” movie nights which i cherish more than anything. cuddling with Chris and Trevor on the couch wearing Christmas pyjamas even though it’s summer and making jokes with Jimmy about stupid shit.

i’ve also had Marylou there for me, teaching me all her favourite recipes that she knows her own kids will never be capable of making.

i wasn’t “home” but this is the closet thing i have and i’m content with that.

i’ve seen my sister too, it’s a little weird when you go from seeing someone everyday and crying in their arms to getting coffee once every few months, but i think it’s best for us to be on our own for the most part.

trauma bonds some people, and it separates others, just wish the ladder didn’t happen with us.

being back was needed, it always is.

i moved out to LA purely because of Matt.

when we were kids the plan was always for me to go wherever he went, though i’d much rather stay in Boston, i was happy anywhere as long as i was with my best friend. i needed desperately to be with him at all times.

speaking of my best friend, things have gone back to normal, and i think i’m okay with it.

i’ve been journaling a lot more, trying to process all the emotions i’ve been feeling and it’s been helping a lot to map everything out.

sure, it hurt getting rejected, but it’s nothing i wasn’t expecting. Matt’s my best friend, i can’t expect him to want to be anything more, it wouldn’t be fair to him.

so things have been good.

we’ve still kept up with our late night Mcdonald’s runs where we talk about nothing and everything and watch the stars through the sunroof.

we still cling to each others side in social settings.

and we still help each other with our bad habits, even though for me it’s just an excuse to hold his hand.

although on the outside things were normal, something felt different, emotionally.

it’s as if he’s not telling me something, or maybe he’s just closing himself off. either way i don’t like how it makes me feel, and i don’t like that he has that effect on me.

i am still planning on telling him how i feel, at least i think.

i need the closure, even if his only reaction is to distance himself more, i can’t keep doing this to myself.

and maybe when he rejects me i’ll actually be able to move on and stop being delusional.

god i just wish he wasn’t so good with his mouth, that would make this a lot easier.

i sit in the back of the minivan with Nick and Nate to either side of me as we head on a small road trip to Vermont.

i’ve always loved the east coast, i love the way the trees over take the outdoors and i love all the wildlife that comes with it.

it’s also extremely nostalgic for me because it reminds me of all the Sturniolo road trips i’ve tagged along for growing up.

“are you sure you’re okay if we vlog this?” Chris asks, looking back to me as i zone back into reality. i bite my lip momentarily, because as much as i’d rather not be subjected to the hate that comes with being their friend, i also don’t want to stop them from making content.

so i nod. “yeah it’s okay, i feel like they already know me anyways so it should be fine” i shrug, referring to the viewers that have watched every video my best friends have posted.

but i’d be lying if i said i hadn’t, because i love watching them in their element.

“how much longer till we’re there?” Nick asks Matt, who’s been much more quiet than normal this car ride.

“like 15 minutes i think, we could’ve been there already if Abigail didn’t take forever getting ready” i gasp dramatically.

“i can’t believe you are throwing me under the bus like that Matthew cmon” i bring my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on them.

little do i know Matt’s watching me from the rear view mirror trying to hide his flustered face.

it’s quiet for a moment before the song playing on the speakers changes, and i know what song it is right away.

“Matt why are you playing this corny shit” Chris complains, running his hand through his hair.

i’m so incredibly uncomfortable because i know exactly what playlist is playing and now i know that Matt’s listened to the song that describes my entire life.

i’m not dumb, i knew he was on the playlist, but he hadn’t listened to it in so long and i had been playing it more, and well i love Lizzy Mcalpine.

Matt furrows his eyebrows. “i think it’s cute, you’re just incapable of being romantic”

Chris is clearly annoyed with that response, although it makes me blush slightly, i just sit and watch. “shut the fuck up Matt at least i have the balls to be honest”

i can see the way Matt stops breathing, as if he’s frozen in place. “watch your mouth Chris or i swear to god i’ll drive this car into a tree”

it’s awkwardly silent for a second. “okay! anyways what are we planning on doing when we get there” Nate chimes in, attempting to bring the mood up.

“wait oh my god can we please see the alpacas again i miss them” i chime in, a smile immediately forming on my face. i see Matt now smiling too, both of us internally reminiscing on how often we’d spend time with the animals together growing up.

“we definitely have to, i also wanna hit up the shops because they always have good stuff” he replies, looking to the rear view mirror yet again while waiting for a reply.

“maybe we can find stuff to finally decorate your dungeon of a room too” i joke, but i do mean it, i can’t stand a bland bedroom.

Chris of course is having the time of life laughing at this. “Chris don’t act like your room is any better you all lack interior design skills it breaks my heart”

soon enough we make it to the cabin we’re staying at, and i’m literally giddy with excitement. coming here never gets old.

somehow it smells better here, like the leaves provide a freshness you just can’t get in LA.

i grab my duffel bag out of the trunk and make my way inside, still smiling like a kid on christmas morning.

we situate in our rooms, i’m sharing with Nick as always but i definitely don’t mind because our late night talks bring me so much happiness.

for a moment i forget about Matt, i’m just completely and utterly stress free.

well i forget about him until i look over and see the way his hair falls perfectly just in front of his eyes. fuck i’m so down bad it’s embarrassing.

once we’ve set our selves up we decide to go see the alpacas first since i’ve practically been begging the whole car ride…

“OH MY GOD MATT STOP” i grab his arm and begin to run towards the alpaca enclosure “the ugly one is still here oh my god i love him”

he must be in a bad mood all of a sudden based on the lack of expression on his face and by the way he drops my hand. “yeah why wouldn’t he be? it hasn’t been that long since we’ve been here”

i try to hide the small frown that wants to make its way to my face. Matt was always my biggest supporter and even if he didn’t care what i was talking about, he’d be my biggest fan as i rambled on.

“okay wait we need to feed them they look hungry” Chris laughs, clearly not sensing the tension that was formed moments prior.

Nick walks over with Nate, camera in hand. i forgot that that was happening, a smile now making its way onto my face, although i definitely don’t feel happy.

it’s hard to avoid thinking about the pit in my stomach, but i’m probably just being over dramatic.

“look at his goofy ass” Nate says as he feeds the ugly alpaca Matt and i bonded over two summers ago.

we all take our turns feeding the alpacas and my mood takes a turn for the better. i have to focus on the friends surrounding me and forget about the boy i can’t stop thinking about.

the rest of the day is nice, just doing what we’ve been doing for years, buying the same snow cones and visiting the same stores.

nothing makes me more happy then spending time with my favourite people, as insanely corny as that sounds they are my chosen family.

something about the way i can smell the tree sap as i walk on uneven dirt roads while talking about absolutely nothing. i just really wish the small action of Matt from earlier didn’t effect my mood so much.

but him affecting my mood is nothing new.

by now it’s dark outside, which is my favourite time because of the sky. i instinctively go to tell Matt about the constellations i see in the sky, grabbing his arm without a second thought.

before he can even react i take my arms off of him, now remembering what happened earlier today. “sorry i just noticed the big dipper and wanted to tell you”

“okay” he replies shrugging and continuing to walk, not once taking a glance at the stars above us.

okay?

is that what we say to each other now when we express something we’re passionate about?

okay?

i cant hide the hurt on my face but unfortunately Nick notices right away, i can see the way the gears turn in his head and i know he’s about to say something so i shoot him a look. this doesn’t need to become a big deal.

so we carry on as normal, Chris and Nate throwing some huge stick into a nearby creek while Nick yells at them to stop.

leaving Matt and i standing in what was now awkward silence. not something i’ve had with him often.

we make it back to the cabin and i head straight back to my room. i feel so over stimulated and want nothing more than to take of my denim shorts and rot in bed.

so i do just that, for a moment anyways, just finally making myself comfortable with multiple fuzzy blankets when Nick enters our shared room and sits on the bed next to me.

i let out a sigh. i cant keep these thoughts to myself and although i normally tell Nathan, he’s busy having fun with Chris and Matt doing whatever it is they’re doing in the living room.

“Abigail” he states.

“Nicolas” i reply, followed by yet another dramatic sigh.

he shoots me a concerned look, it’s evident how well he knows me. “wanna inform me on what’s happening?”

i pull a blanket over my face and groan, before eventually coming back out to meet Nicks face still looking at me.

“are you prepared for me to rant for the next ten minutes?” i ask “i have lots to get off my chest”

he shuffles in bed, kicking off his shoes and placing a blanket on his lap. “i’m always prepared”

so i do what i warned him. i talk for the next few minutes, explaining my feelings, the moment in the hot tub, and how that all leads to now.

i try my best to avoid crying because a part of me won’t allow it. my dads voice echoing in the back of my brain telling me to grow up. “i don’t know what i did wrong, i don’t know what to do Nick. i cant live like this anymore”

he hugs me and i immediately break. every feeling i’ve bottled up for years pouring out into his chest.

he just rubs my back as i cry. he doesn’t even need to say anything.

and we stay like this for a while before i pull away.

“i just feel so stupid. part of me thought that the moment in the hot tub would lead to more. i thought that maybe he liked me back or maybe- i don’t know.” i sniffle, trying to gain composure because although i just let myself cry, i don’t feel proud of it.

“Abi you’re allowed to feel. you are a human being with emotions and you need to feel them.” i nod, a tear still making its way down my face. “i can’t give you advice until you speak to him. you’re right, this can’t go on anymore, but until you say something it will.”

“but-“ i begin

“but nothing. obviously he’s being an asshole right now but neither of you know where you stand and that’s confusing for both sides. you can’t keep this in anymore, it’s not normal nor is it healthy. okay?” he finishes, waiting for a response.

i sigh. “okay. not tonight though, i need to process what i’m gonna say i think.” i reply, pulling the blankets back up to my chin. “you can go hangout with them if you want i know i’m being annoying right now”

“don’t say stupid shit you’ll never annoy me.” he slaps my arm playfully, causing a smile to form on my face.

i don’t know why it feels so difficult to tell Matt how i feel. he’s my best friend. the only person in the world who knows everything about me, other than the fact that i’m in love with him. and it breaks my heart that i struggle to tell him.

i just wish it didn’t matter this much to me i wish i didn’t base my self worth off of how much a boy looks at me or if he’s excited about the things that make me happy. i’m nothing without him. i mean without Matt i don’t know who i am, and now he’s pushing me away all because of a stupid drunken fling

it breaks my heart that no matter how hard i’ve tried to suppress these feelings i’m forced to confront them. maybe i’m running away from what i feel, or maybe i’m choosing the safer option.

the option that’s supposed to leave me less hurt.

yet here i am with Nick sleeping beside me, trying to suppress more tears.

my heart rate increases and my breathing speeds up. god i feel so weak, so stupid, so hopeless.

if Matt were here he’d tell me to focus on my breath. he’d hold my hands and talk me through all my worries. he’d rub my back till i’ve fully calmed down and then do some stupid baby voice to cheer me up.

if he were here i’d be whole again, but he’s not, and i’m just here at three in the morning stressed and alone.

i need fresh air.

a/n: i kinda hate this i think but that’s okay lolz

taglist: @athaliahxoxo

[sanguinelupus]

i know i'm usually only here once a week on the weekends anyway, but i also do tend to get on mobile a lot throughout the week. i haven't been, and that's because so much is going on in my life right now that the thought of getting online here just isn't even in my head right now. it isn't important.

while i do enjoy this hobby a lot, it is still just that -- a hobby. and i will come back to it when my life isn't so chaotic. that could be two days from now or two weeks from now...who knows. but i'm just letting you guys know that my activity (while it's already low) will be extremely sparse and i am going to prioritize established mutuals over new ones.

i am always on discord and everyone is welcome to message me there if you want to talk or yell about our characters. if i don't respond right away, please understand that i have a lot going on right now.

if you want details of what's been going on, it's under the cut.

at the end of september/beginning of october, our water was cut off because of the water company being absolutely shady and manipulative and lying to us for months prior, and we and to figure out how to come up with over $2,000 very quickly because living without running water in today's world is just not feasible, especially when everything else in your house is working completely normally. luckily we only had to go a few days without water, but the situation was just a fucking nightmare especially because on top of it, my wife and i were working our new-ish jobs as normally as we possibly could; she works 32 hours a week and i work 40, both of us work with children. i was on my lunch break trying to figure out how much water my wife had to buy when she got off work just so we could flush our toilets once or twice throughout the night. i was in my preschool classroom sitting in the floor cutting out laminated farm animals while on the phone with the water company who told me i had insufficient funds in my account when i was staring at my bank that said $2,400 at that moment in time. my wife had to be woken up so she could take cash down to the water company and they had our water back on within 30 minutes, but the stress of all of the bullshit we were going through doesn't just go away.

the week after that was also extremely stressful and overstimulating because of things out of our control.

the past week has been spent worrying about my cat, who has deteriorated EXTREMELY rapidly. she won't eat her normal food, she is constantly getting dirty somehow, her eyes are almost always stuck shut every day and i have to clean them every morning, she's lost so much weight in such a short amount of time and has no energy for anything other than sitting in the same spot. because we work so much, we have not had the time to even call a vet much less make an appointment for her. we managed to get her in somewhere on monday, but that means i'm having to miss work. i've been feeding her liquid/broth cat food and continuing to clean her every day so she can function, though.

the brakes on our car have also deteriorated extremely quickly in the last week, and they're being replaced today. getting an appointment on a sunday of all days was stressful, and trying to plan it around what my wife has had going on for work this weekend was also very stressful. my wife has had only one day off this week and still has to go back to work tomorrow after a weekend of nothing but overstimulation and stress. the brakes are going to be over $500 to have fixed.

my wife's grandfather has also been in critical condition for a while now, and they are expecting him to pass within the next three weeks. we will both have to plan for paying for plane tickets to the funeral, as well as mentally preparing for dealing with her (extremely conservative & fucking awful) family.

all of this is on top of me working with preschool aged autistic children, and things have been chaotic and stressful there too. i'm not going to be at work tomorrow when we're getting a new student, and whenever the normal teachers are out of the classroom, the kids are thrown off completely and end up acting out. but i quite literally just have no other option, my cat HAS to go to the vet. she should have gone last week, but again, we just have not had the time.

who knows what else will pop up in the meantime. i am autistic and all of this overstimulation is not good for my mental health AT ALL. my wife has been extremely depressed lately and all of this is not good for HER mental health at all. we are both just trying to survive right now, but shit will not stop happening.

so i hope everyone can see why tumblr roleplay is quite literally the last thing on my mind right now.

[bradycore]

okay here’s the thing about bloody mary. it’s one of the most essential episodes of one of the best seasons of the show. it’s literally the kickoff for the beloved psychic sam arc, and the way it’s done is BRILLIANT. the rambling is under the cut, but first i’ll say that of course the born-again identity is a fantastic episode. it has sam 1) making a friend and 2) suffering immensely, plus the plot-driven sam elements too, so i’m here for it, i am! but it’s NOT bloody mary.

so you’ve got all the nostalgic classics of this era of the show (which i'm having to cut down on for length oops): familiar lore but a good mystery; the lighting & desaturation, the clothes & hair, the shots that are eerily similar to ones seasons down the line (the ahbl and levee parallels alone, oh my god!!!); salmondean lying out of their asses and failing miserably; the bantering; “it might not be our thing” “when is it ever not our thing”; more lying and snooping; the side character of the week experiencing some genuinely scary shit, like, actual horror-movie horror; lines that are funny when you watch them but horribly ironic in hindsight (“600 years of bad luck”); committing b&e and property damage...you get the gist. and sam comes from all this. you can take s7 era away from sam and still have him, but you can't take away this. the roots of the show are the roots of him.

anyway, throughout it all, sam has nightmares. horrible nightmares that we experience with him, but we think they’re normal, and dean thinks they’re normal, and then sam says he has a secret. and we realize that it’s been building up to something. the pinnacle: sam, eyes bleeding, black veins crawling up his face, trying desperately to kill his own reflection as it tells him he’s inhuman. how many times did we see this happen metaphorically over the next five seasons? how huge is this theme for his character? and right here, right now, late at night in an old antique store in midwestern ohio, this is when it starts, when it’s raw, when he’s face to face not with a random character parallel but with himself and the literal mirrors all around him are the inescapable threat and we the audience have our stomachs drop as we realize for the first time that he’s not the Normal One. he’s the Other. there is something Wrong. you had those nightmares for days before she died.

and his reflection told him it was his fault jess died. and he tells the motw victim’s daughter that it’s okay, you couldn’t have stopped your loved one’s death, you should forgive yourself; but when he gets in the car with dean, he keeps his secret. to be normal, to be safe.

and then that last fucking shot, oh my god, those five incredible seconds of cinema: jess standing on a street corner as they drive away with the classic rock music in the background. continuing to raise the question of his psychicness, and ephemeral as ever in her white nightgown, wind in her hair, staring right at him and then she’s gone. and 15 seasons later he will still be thinking about her, and this moment is the last time he ever truly sees her.

this episode is so fundamental. it captures the essence of old-school-spn sam while having narrative and cinematic elements that set the stage for his character throughout the entire rest of the show. born-again identity is sam with a crisis in a hospital; bloody mary is sam with a crowbar and a secret. born-again identity is one of those episodes that’s about him; bloody mary is one of those episodes that’s the heart of him. and bloody mary deserved to win.

[bizarre-blorbo-bracket]

Round 1 poll 17: Phagocytes from Your Body vs Micheal Haggerty from Murder she Wrote

Propaganda under the cut:

Phagocytes

They're white blood cells. They protect your body from pathogens by engulfing them, trapping them in a membrane and digesting them. I imagine them as dogs that leap on pathogens and eat them. I love them so much

Micheal Haggerty

God he is just. So. <3333 He's from a less talked about show anyway, and he's a reoccurring character but he's only in like 8 episodes so his fanbase is literally just me and my one friend who knows nothing about him except that I love him and frequently go crazyinsane in our dms about him. So saying he's a rare blorbo might be a bit of an understatement lmao But anyway I am So So Normal about him (<- lying) He's a British spy of Irish decent, the audience barely knows what his real name is, me and my friend call him DennisMichael because those are two of the aliases he went by when I first started getting insane about him. I want to distill his voice and ferment it into wine. I don't love him in the normal want to fuck that old man sense I want him to give me a hug and read me a bedtime story I want to gently tend to his wounds I want him to gently tend to my wounds I want to take him to a carnival and win him a giant stuffed monkey ect ect ect. He has a weird gay thing going on with the protagonist (they're m/f but in a very bisexual way so it's a weird gay thing) and also keeps inadvertently putting her in danger and also gets her put in jail in one episode but i haven't gotten there yet so I don't know the details but it is to keep her safe <3 Yeah I'm normal about him I swear. I could talk so much more about him but I will save your eyes. DennisMichaelsweep <3

[my-chemical-migraine]

hi pooks i am very confuse

please read all of this i’m sorry

so i have been meaning to ask for like. since our gimmicks started dating and all. um is this real? is this only in-character roleplay with our gimmick blogs or is this real? because i am like,,am like really stressing about this because i don’t know what any of this means and i am so so confused.

(hh,my friend who’s behind the peacock account asks if me & you are actually dating more often than she asks how the wedding remake’s going c,:)

‘cause i went from thinking this was just gimmicks to thinking it might be real or wishing it was real to burying that because why would this be real (why do i obsess over everyone that’s nice to me more than once, that’s the real question). so. like. um. (cough cough my mind says your rent is due you’re there too much)

uh um yeah remember when you were over at the park with your friend and you said you would be a catgirl for me ??? that was. um. that was confusing for me because i was like “she talks about me with her friends??” because the most i talked about you with my friends was like “yo i met this girl she exists i think she’s really cool” and that’s literally it and a part of that’s because i didn’t think this was real so i didn’t think there was much to talk about because it was just a fun thing and not something that would change my facebook status or something. i don’t have facebook. so that was confusing for me. um. (the other part of why i said so little about you is because i’m not used to sharing my feeling with people. for some reason my brain says having my own feelings is like really embarrassing or something idfk,,i,)

um also uh i remember another message that um maybe was in this same conversation, i only remember the specific message. um. so you said something like, “literally kicking my feet” and um and then i didn’t respond because i had to take a giant mental step back so i could remember how to breathe at a normal rate. uh. yup. ok.

i think i think you’re super cool, but i am also being not normal about that. so i apologize. yeah. ok um bye ly ending the ask<3i never knows what’s happening in real life anyways so like um. yup done writing now !!<3

(sorry if you wouldn’t have wanted this ask on your main)

have some pictures !! i am so anxious for no reason i am literally staring at a screen right now !! CATS !!! etc. and song yup yup

Im cool with with you're cool with honestly, I love your personality❤️

Like I said, if you want it to be a real thing, if love to actually date you :3333 <333

[kaibutsushidousha]

Kodaka's April Fool's tweets 2023

Neeheehee... Being told it's okay to lie makes me not want to lie. Just kidding! That was a lie!

-

Anyways, I hacked this account. Oh? Who am I? The supreme leader of a secret society of justice. Every day we do everything in our power to bring world peace!

-

What are you talking about? I'm perfectly alive! Don't know who you're mistaking me for, but I never died once in my life! After all, I'm a completely nonfictional individual who exists in the real world! I'm seriously alive, ok?

-

It's been years, so I'm a full-grown adult now. Yeah, I got a normal job as an idol singer, did you know? Uh-huh, in a duo with a robot I met in my school days. We're a small, obscure unit, so our selling point is how close and approachable we are to our few fans. I'm just in it to see the audience's happy faces. Money doesn't feed the heart.

-

Fiction is so worthless. It's like a dream you forget when you wake up. I think people who get crazy about fiction are stupid. But unlike it, I'm valuable. Because I'm a real person.

-

Keep this between us, but Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and all those other guys from the Sengoku Period weren't real. They're from ancient fiction that the later generations mistakenly believed to be real.

-

Robots don't have human rights, so you can do whatever you want with him. If you wanna tip the performers during the concert, toss a sack of coins at him as hard as you can. That's the fun part of our shows. Oh, me? I only take my tips in bills.

-

Welcome to the Supreme Leader of Justice's official Twitter account. There's only one way to achieve world peace! I need everyone to join this secret society of justice where I'm the supreme leader. The admission fee is only 100 thousand yen! You can get a 10% discount for each friend you recruit! Nee-hee-hee, invite everyone you know. For world peace!

-

I knew this really cringe guy in my school days, always yelling something or other about going to space. I came across him the other day lying down on the street, drunk on Strong Zero, with dead fish eyes mumbling that he will go to space. Great to see life's been good to him!

-

What? You can't afford the entrance fee for the secret society of justice? C'mon, just rob someone. It's for world peace, they forgive you eventually. Nee-hee-hee, everyone needs to work together to achieve world peace, one donation to me at a time!

-

I'm really not a fan of eating bugs. I had a friend who loved bugs in my school days, and the dude was the nicest guy ever. Never told a lie in his life. And you know how much I hate liars. But bugs taste so good.

-

Agh, I spent this whole liar day only telling the truth. Why am I such a contrarian?

-

Just kidding, that was a lie!

What exactly was a lie, you ask? What part of what I said was a lie? Why does it matter? Life's not about what's real and what's false, it's about what's fun and what isn't. Oh, that was a lie. I haven't done one of those in a long while.

-

Anyways, I'll be a character in Master Detective Archives: Rain Code, coming out this June 30th! Make sure to preorder it, for world peace. It's a delightful game, full of robots exploding, robots falling into smelting furnaces, and robots losing their personalities and living for revenge against humanity. Seeing all of you again after such a long time sure wasn't boring. Till next time. Buh-bye.

[kyogre-blue]

OK, onto SS choice and the timeskip!

Due to when they let you save, I've actually played into the very start of the war phase, so I'll just say it here. I was kind of disappointed by how limp-wristed the whole Edelgard situation is? I expected some more "join me and we shall rule Fodlan" kind of thing, but Edelgard is very neutral and almost disinterested about it. Oh, you're not joining her? Oh well.

The Byleth relationship with Claude is rather detached because he has so little stakes in Fodlan and keeps hiding his actual background and motives for so long, but like the tradeoff is that they have no actual beef or conflict and just cooperate well. I kind of thought Edelgard would be more emotionally charged in some way and she... isn't really? Post timeskip, they go through the motions of starting a sword fight, but then just kinda... stop and... part ways... Not sure if Edelgard's rather under-played delivery is part of the issue. I'm not saying her voice actress is bad, but she doesn't really sell the character imo.

Anyway, I am as ever unimpressed by Edelgard.

Live blogging notes:

Edelgard going to Enbarr to be crowned is a secret.

Man, her dad looks very ill. The implication of her dialogue is that it's because of the "burden of the throne" but eeeeeh

Normally, the archbishop should act as a witness to the ceremony, though iirc the original JP script just had "bishop"...?

"By the covenant between the red blood and the white sword"

Man... Both Hubert in their support and Ionius IX here frame it as Edelgard being "stolen away to the Kingdom" but like, no, her mom took her there? And from what I understand, Edelgard was perfectly fine there. The real issue was when Thales posing as Arundel brought her back. But it seems that Edelgard doesn't actually remember that stuff, so are they purposefully lying to her?

It seems like Ionius IX saw his children experimented on. Edelgard mentions seeing him clench his fists until they bled.

Edelgard's first act: putting Duke Aegir in his place and basically imprisoning him in the palace (?)

Ionius IX and Edelgard both keep referring to how the fate of Fodlan is in her hands now, which is kind of lol given that she's technically only taking over one of three countries in Fodlan.

Oh, interesting. In GD (and I believe BL), you fight the Flame Emperor in the Tomb and then break their mask, revealing Edelgard. But here, Edelgard walks in as herself from the beginning and willingly reveals her identity.

Her wehehe evil henchguy states clearly that they're here to take the Crest Stones, and also the bones. Oh boy!

It's interesting that Edelgard can't just order her classmates to stand down. She's their Emperor, so by disobeying her, they're functionally all traitors. In general, I'm surprised we do battle with her initially and only choose whether to side with her after being ordered to kill her directly.

Despite what I kind of expected, Edelgard never really tries to recruit you and isn't at all surprised that you stand against her. Ngl, I expected a "join me and we can rule the galaxy together" pitch. Kinda disappointed...

Yeah, all the BE kids are like "so what if she's the Emperor, we're just gonna do our own thing" but without actually confronting what they're doing. (Update: Hubert at least obliquely threatens Ferdinand if you attack him, with "you have people you care about in the empire, right? think about what'll happen to them if you stand with the Church")

Edelgard's big speech is like "Church wants to rule Fodlan!" and "Church split up the empire to make kingdom and alliance, all to set us against each other" which, I cannot emphasize enough, doesn't really come across as an issue when there's no major history of conflict between the nations. The only actual post-independence conflict was the Hrym-Ordelia business which barely gets mentioned and is also the Empire's own fault... The gold and extravagance thing is just nonsense too.

Oh, lmao. Seteth says that Edelgard "demanded her own father relinquish the throne" but like... I was at her coronation. They either got lazy copy-pasting dialogue from other routes or assumed you'd totes side with her if you saw that scene.

The tone Rhea and Seteth take in regard to the "progenitor god" is a bit weird because Rhea in particular fluctuates between clearly considering Sothis her mother and her loss as a very personal one, and speaking of Sothis as her goddess and a much more detached authority figure.

Ferdinand says that half of the six big noble families declared support for Edelgard. Hubert's dad was assassinated, Bernie's dad is under house arrest and his wife is siding with Edelgard in his stead, and Ferdie's dad his been stripped of his PM position, his rank, and his lands.

Huh, a bunch of the church units auto-recruited.

You can recruit Hilda here, though I don't have enough of... probably axe ranks.

Dimitri has mysteriously come to the conclusion that Edelgard is responsible for Duscur. The month before, his explore dialogue was about how he hasn't been sleeping.

Anyway, time to kill off some children. I want no one coming to the promise day.

It is unexpectedly hard. Normal mode is so easy you have to be trying to lose on purpose, and even then it's hard to do.

The battle starts with the enemy already within the walls (Outer Wall on the map location). The Church is holding out for reinforcements that come in through the left and right entrances, but they are first taken by Imperial forces (Death Knight on the left, Hubert on the right), which have to be cleared out.

There are "Onagers" (basically catapults) that archers can use to fire in the town and "Fire Orbs" that mages can use next to the monastery inner walls.

There are two Winged Demonic Beasts with the Imperial forces. They have creepy masks and hold "Pointy Art(ificial) Crest Stones" which are "artificial Crest Stones with a distorted shape, produced in the Empire." They have enormous wings that are even a barrier ability (lol) and are noted as being very swift.

Rhea's class is Archbishop, she's using the Sword of Seiros (which is also mentioned in the class description lol) and Seiros Shield (interesting point: halves monster damage). She's got A in sword, reason, faith, and leadership, B in fists, but nothing in axes or bows, and only a D in lances. Her abilities include Sacred Power (gives boost to allies and lowers damage taken) and Charm. Walking buff point, I see.

After we repel them, Edelgard sends in the reserve troops and signals Arundel (Thales). (He comes in with more Demonic Beasts and also attacks Byleth and Rhea with dark magic... in his real form lmao, wonder if anyone noticed how their commander changed out for another dude somewhere along the line.)

I saw this before, but why does Claude fight with a sword in cutscenes? Sword here and sword in the Fort Mercius scene against Nader too. Also, funny that he and Dimitri are hanging out together for some reason.

Note that Byleth swings and extends the Sword of the Creator with enough force to shatter a Demonic Beast's mask and bodily throw it off the Immaculate One. Like, dang... those things are big and heavy??

[pegasusgemini]

<Lord of The Mysteries> Multi-Character Audio Drama - Special Episode: -Spoiler Title-

<SPOILERS AHEAD> For the end of LotM Book 1

Special Episode: Klein's Niece (Translated by u/windvally) on Reddit

Release Date: May 28th, 2021

Platform: Himalaya Audio Book APP

Re-post: Feel free to post this on Reddit etc., so the script can be read by others.

---

Klein's Niece POV:

Today, I greeted Mr.Fool~

I told Dakye about this, but he didn’t believe me. (TL note: The name sound like “Dakye” [达克耶], no script to see the actual Chinese word used for the name, so I can only guess. Seems like an alias used by Leonard)

I wasn’t lying to him though. ヽ(ಠ_ಠ) ノ

Ah!

That’s right!

At the time, why did I not tell him what Mr.Fool looked like?

He has......scribbling noise

He......has.....scribbling noise

Eh? The ink ran out? scribbling noise

Huh, it’s working again~ (^.^)

scribbling noise

Anyways, Dakye is a big dummy!

All he does is reciting weird poem lines.

The book he lent me last time, <The World’s World>, was not enjoyable to read in the slightest!

disappointed humpfh

Forget it! I will listen to auntie, from now on I will never bring this up with someone else again, that I’ve met Mr.Fool.

Today’s dinner, we are having Mr.Fool’s holy meal. (TL note: I know there’s words like Sacrament/Communion/Mass etc., but those are christian terms. I will just use holy meal for the sake of simplicity.)

That’s what father said: “This is a holy meal.”

But aren’t these type of food what we normally have in our family anyways?

Ummh......

Lamb boiled with soft tofu.

Beef soup.

Mashed potato.

Fried Tussock fish.

Stewed rhubarb.

giggles There’s also sweet ice tea!

Sweet ice tea taste so delicious~ ԅ(♡﹃♡ԅ)

Mmh......After we finished the holy meal, my father was once again busy discussing about curly baboons. He won’t play with me.

Uhm......That’s why, I am not telling him ~

~ that I had ice cream this morning!

Mmh, the little big brother who gifted me ice cream was really nice. (TL note: Basically, probably Will. She calls him “little big brother”, a Chinese term used for a boy/male older than you but within the same developmental stage as you. And often not used on people past 40 years old. It’s not used for family members or friends, only for neighbors and strangers that you have good impressions of)

Mmh~~~ hiccup

Mmh...I am really full.

Auntie said, if I pray to Mr.Fool before I go to sleep, there will be angels descending into my dream world and giving me good dreams.

Mmh, Mr.Fool is so great! I have decided to give this a try.

scribbling noise

It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr.Fool.

Have a good night!

closing diary noise

<end>

[yallemagne]

“There is no use your telling me that you are going to be good,” cried Lord Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled with rose-water. “You are quite perfect. Pray, don’t change.”

Henry stop fucking grooming him for one second, he's trying to have a character arc.

Dorian's great act of mercy is finally not fucking over a young woman just because he has a fleeting interest in her. For maybe anyone else I'd be like nooo you're just isolating yourself it's unhealthy, but Dorian just is a shitty person, so yeah, if he "can't help" but hurt everyone he knows he should avoid impressionable young people. Of course, Henry is a whore, so--

“Besides, how do you know that Hetty isn’t floating at the present moment in some starlit mill-pond, with lovely water-lilies round her, like Ophelia?”

"Dorian, you should have just slept with her and ruined her chances at a normal life anyway. She would have killed herself either way." Remind me why people think he's charming.

"You must play Chopin to me. The man with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely."

GOOD FOR HER. Go get it, Victoria, hell yeah. If I seem like a hypocrite cheering her on and condemning Henry, yes, I am, and I have no shame, I truly hope he was hurt by her leaving him. I wish every inconvenience upon him.

"I dare say he fell into the Seine off an omnibus and that the conductor hushed up the scandal. Yes: I should fancy that was his end. I see him lying now on his back under those dull-green waters, with the heavy barges floating over him and long weeds catching in his hair.”

Does Henry have a fetish for suicide by drowning? Is the only way he can finish by looking at that one painting of Ophelia? Jesus man. He complains Dorian's idea that Basil was murdered is "too romantic" and then he gets all hot and bothered saying "mm imagine Basil rotting in a river".

"There is some one at White’s who wants immensely to know you—young Lord Poole, Bournemouth’s eldest son. He has already copied your neckties, and has begged me to introduce him to you. He is quite delightful and rather reminds me of you." [...] "We might go together, and I will take you to lunch afterwards with Lady Branksome. She is a charming woman, and wants to consult you about some tapestries she is thinking of buying. Mind you come. Or shall we lunch with our little duchess? She says she never sees you now. Perhaps you are tired of Gladys? I thought you would be. Her clever tongue gets on one’s nerves. Well, in any case, be here at eleven."

Henry, what the fuck do you think you are? A pimp??

[noelle666]

Ship/Kiss Challenge - Aloth Corfiser/femWatcher (pale elf)

Original post with all options

15. ... passionately

Note - I am not fluent at any type of English dialects (which could be a solution for Iselmyr's speech), so she will speak, well, normally. But I'll try something anyway (try to use all the info I can get about Hylspeak too).

Note 2 - yes, all my female characters have a name "Noelle" and they all have the same temper but may have different appearance.

Note 3 - There might be some spoilers and some OOC.

"Oi, lad, yer thinkin' too loud, y cannot sleep. Stop it. Ye only do is thinkin' an' thinkin'. Where's the action?"

"When the proper moment comes. When I am ready!"

"Ye never be ready, lad, covered with all the books ye have. That lass is waiting for ye. Get yer arse up and go to her cabin. Now!"

"She is probably sleeping already".

"Ye know she's not, ye can see a light. And ye know she, for sure, is busy with somethin'. Prolly with some scrolls or notes. Ye two bookworms! I'm surprised one of ye was initiative enough (and, course, 'twas her. She's braver than ye!)"

"Stop. Right. Now!"

Aloth was lying on a bed within a belly of a ship which was swinging steadily on the waves. His mind was swallowed by thoughts about one person - about The Watcher, the young woman who, it seems, found a key to his heart. Her white hair, the colour so pure even the clearest snow can be envious, her grey eyes, her pale skin which sometimes looked like a pearl when sunlight gently touched her face... It was difficult not to look at this precious being when she was near. And even harder not to embrace her, to touch her and...

The elf shaked his head to get rid of innapropriate (as he thought) ideas but the other soul within him grabbed this thin thread and starded pushing him towards expressing feelings and making real actions. Otherwise Iselmyr would've taken control over his body and bring his "sorry arse" herself to the Watcher's cabin. After figuring out this confrontation might've ended up into a physical fight and waken up the whole crew, Aloth gathered all his will and made his decision.

The wizard quetly came closer to Noelle's cabin and looked in: the elf woman was sitting at her table covered with books, notes and scrolls. She was reading a thin book which cover was almost destroyed and making notes on a piece of paper. Aloth nocked at a wall.

"You cannot sleep? Feel sea sick?" - pale elf woman looked up from book and smiled to her night guest.

"Oh, no, no, I merely saw a light and thought, well..."- the wizard rubbed his neck nerviously and smiled in responce, - "I thought if you stayed up this late maybe you are busy with something which may need some help. So here I am".

"Oh, this? Nothing serious. I am trying to sort all what Eder and me saved from Caed Nua and find if there are any foliants which could be useful for our hunt for Eothas. But I've found nothing important so far, we already know everything what is written in these books. Only Eothas himself may provide the information we need. And other gods, although..."

"What's the matter?"

"I would prefer to limitate my interactions with them".

"Understandable. Especially knowing they are not gods at all..."

The Watcher stood up from chair and started streching her stiffed neck and back. She then sat on her bed and invited Aloth to sit nest to her with gesture.

"Can I speak freely with you?" - she asked.

"But of course!"

"I... don't know what to do. You know I was a priestess of Eothas. Well, at some point I still am. I believe in compassion, I believe there is always hope for everyone and everything. I believe every person has a light but some hide it or switch it off because they lost their way. As a faithful servant of him my goal would be to go with him and help. But knowing what he is supposed to do... I want to understand him. I want to stop his plan, yes, but I feel the first thing I must do is to understand. But the more questions I ask the closer it bring us to the conclusion of Eothas' work. Something tells me that there is more hidden in his thoughts, maybe there is a way to convince him, but the others... They want him to be destroyed. And I..."

Young woman looked lost: being the Watcher, being killed by the god she worshipped, even by an accident, being the one whose role is to stop this rogue god... Wasn't it enought for one small mortal, who merely wanted to have a peaceful life? Noelle chuckled.

"Forgive me, Aloth. Here I am, sitting on a ship, whining about my life. An interesting and bright life, some may say".

The elf took Noelle's hand; he wanted to say something but words couldnt form into his mind. The only thing he could do is to embrace her.

"Thank you. Your company brings peace to my soul".

Aloth looked into woman's grey eyes.

"I am alway happy to help you if you need it".

"Lad, what did y told ye?"

An annoying voice appeared again in the wizards head making the elf squint and sigh.

"... Iselmyr?" - Noelle was familiar with Aloth's behaviour when the old soul of Iselmyr, the most ferocious elven woman she ever met, manifested herself. They were familiar, and after the feelings betwween Aloth and Noelle appeared, the elven wizard warned his beloved that she may act as an intrusive neighbour. So far she was a silent observer and haven't interrupted their conversations. Tonight was something different.

"Sorry, me kind wif, needed to remind tis wee bookworm 'bout somethin'. Now off y go!" - said Iselmyr with Aloth's mouth.

"Forgive me! And her..."

"Don't apoligize. If I hadn't knew you both..." - Noelle chucked.

"Well, it seems I helped you to get rid of heavy thoughts. Ahem, "we" helped you. So... I guess it is time for me to come back and for you to sleep at least a little".

"Thank you, Aloth, for taking care about me", - Noelle softly kissed the wizard and ran her fingers through his long dark hair.

The elf stood up and made several steps towards the exit but stopped; he squinted again, not because his "neighbour" showed up again, but because he didn't want to leave. Noelle told him some time ago she won't demand of him anything, knowing how difficult it is for someone who spent the most part of his life alone and hid some details of his past and, more importantly, his Awakening... but no more. Aloth turned around, he noticed the Watchers' questioning gaze; the elf once again sat on Noelle's bed, he pulled her towards himself and kissed. Such action was unexpected, but the pale elf woman, surprisingly did not pushed her beloved. The wizard embraced the woman, he put all the passion, all the feelings into a kiss but still remained careful not to scare or not to squeeze her too tightly. After they lips separated, Noelle looked into Aloth's eyes.

"Iselmyr, is it you?"

The question was not nesessary and the Watcher already knew the answer, but decided to ask anyway.

"It. Is. I".

Noelle pulled Aloth closer, and then they both ended up lying on a bed trying to be more opened to each other.

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

Apollo/Lester Propaganda:

Bro thinks everyone is in love with him and only waiting for him to ask, to do anything he wants, but no one actually cares about him <3 He learns through the books, though

Gideon Nav Propaganda:

(Spoilers for Ht9) She just. Fully ignores most of the magic plot happening around her in the first boom to be a dyke. In the second book it’s even less reliable and it’s fully fucking insane. It’s first person but she’s telling YOU (harrow) what is happening and it’s impossible to decipher. The appearance and personality of every character is fully morphed by Gideon’s mean dykishness.

MASSIVE spoilers. Like even mentioning that this is a thing is a huge fucking spoiler. I normally don’t care about spoilers that much but I legitimately feel awful for anyone with even a passing interest in reading these books who has this spoiled for them. Anyway. Yeah turns out the second-person narration is actually a first-person narration by the dead girl living in Harrow’s head whose death traumatized Harrow (and the entire fandom) so badly that she literally lobotomized herself to forget it and give Gideon a chance at not having her soul digested.

constantly adds her own commentary, does not pay attention to the interesting moving parts of the plot bc she's too busy looking at pretty girls, cannot be trusted to read her own intentions correctly never mind anyone else's. I love her dearly

she just doesn’t notice or doesn’t give a shit about a ton of plot-essential information. Harrow and Palamedes are talking about a necromantic theorem that would blow open the entire story if we could hear them? You can instantly feel Gideon’s eyes glaze over and her mind wander to the nearest available hot girl, and our attention goes with her. It’s handled so smoothly that you might not even notice it happening until a second or third read.

More Propaganda under cut!

Gideon Nav is all but useless as a narrator, and we love her for it. So first of all, she knows absolutely nothing. She grew up under a rock. Almost literally. When the plot is happening near her, she almost never tells us about it. Politics, history, and the magic system are boring. Let her know when there's something she can FIGHT. She also has very selective emphasis and focus that can change a scene completely without ever actually lying. She can tell the same story—to us, in her third-person narration as a factual recounting—and in one version the incident will be a schoolyard scuffle, while a later telling will reveal it to have been a near-homicide. She'll confidently interpret other character's motivations and emotions, only to later be proven wrong. But the thing that makes her REALLY unreliable? She lies to HERSELF constantly. She will tell us in her narration that she doesn't give a shit where someone disappeared to, and then spend the whole day searching for them. She'll say she hates someone, when. Well....

okay so i am actually going to do one segment about her own book and one about harrow’s so many apologies and also many spoilers ahead okay? okay so in gideon the ninth it’s a well known thing that she’s an unreliable narrator on two fronts: she lies to herself and therefore us about how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, and also she isn’t paying attention to the plot at all. the only things she pays any attention to are hot girls, swords, and hot girls with swords. at one point she watches their only way out be sealed off and is so bored about it that she goes to sleep watching it happen, taking absolutely no note of “oh hey they’re trapping us here”. later someone asks IN FRONT OF HER “hey where did all our shuttles go” and shes like “😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌” and still does not make the connection. babygirl. but THEN!!!!! in HARROW the ninth (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD) gideon is the narrator the ENTIRE TIME (except for the revised canaan house parts) and not only does she editorialize, she also straight up lies about events and motivations! partially justified by her being inside harrow’s head, but like. babygirl. beloved. the interjections of “holy fuck” and “pommel” and othersuch things is so important to my mental health and wellbeing. thank you. thank you for lying to us so so much.

[jooheonspinky]

Got my Number

Characters: Jooheon x Female Reader

Genre: idol!au, fluff, smut

Synopses: A trip to see Monsta X in concert turns out to be so much more than expected.

Word Count: 10.9K

Playlist: https://youtu.be/3aSeACXczwY

“I’m gonna go down to the gym for a bit,” I announce as I step out of the bathroom. “Wanna come?”

Draping a towel over my shoulders, I face my cousin, who is lying on the bed still snuggled beneath the comforter, a Kindle blocking her face from view.

Peaking over the device, her lips turn down, “Meh, no thanks.”

I let out a chuff in amusement even as I grab my phone and room key.

“Welp, I’ll be down there for an hour or two if you change your mind.”

“Mhmm…”

I chuckle to myself, quite certain she didn’t actually hear what I said. She is already lost in whatever book she is currently reading. We’d driven down together to attend the long-awaited Monsta X concert. We had held on to our excitement until we arrived, the worry that it would be postponed, yet again, nagging at the back of our minds. All that pent-up anxiousness needed an outlet, and the gym would be the perfect place for me to get rid of some of it. 

The event was tonight, but 7:30 seemed so far away, it only being 9 am. There was no way I could wait. Taking the elevator down to the first floor, it’s not long before I’m swiping my card against the black reader and stepping into the hotel’s gym. Thankfully it’s empty, and some of the tension in my shoulders loosens up. I make my way straight for the treadmill, popping in my earbuds as I begin to play an audiobook. 

An hour later, I’m just about to step off of the treadmill and move on to work out my arms when I hear the door click shut. Dabbing at the sweat on my face, I remove the earbuds and decide to leave instead. Looking up as I pick up my phone and room key to at least offer a smile to the incomer, I freeze for the briefest of moments as my eyes make contact with the person. 

It’s freaking Jooheon!

He smiles back but frowns as I pass by him quickly, ducking my head as I make my way towards the exit. There is no way I am staying in there…alone…with him. Nope. Screw arms today!

“가지마 (Gajima-Don’t go).” He doesn’t say it loud, but it’s enough that I can still hear him. It’s almost as if he is testing me. Maybe to see if I would respond or keep going? Either way, it doesn’t matter. Just hearing his voice has me instantly stopping and turning to face him. “You understood me?” he asks, surprised. “You know Korean?”

I shake my head, my heart beating so loud he sounds a bit muffled to my ears. “No. I can’t speak it fluently, but I do know some words.” Then, tilting my chin towards him, I add, ”That one word you said is one of them.”

He smiles sweetly, his eyes turning to little slits as he waves me over.

“So you will stay? We can work out together.”

“Uhm, are you sure?” I ask even as I look around, wondering if I’m being pranked.

“Yes, come on. I’m Jooheon,” he reaches his hand out.

“I kn-” I stop myself, wanting to give him the opportunity to have a normal interaction. Instead, I slip my hand into his, and he shakes it gently.  ”I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you,” he grins happily.

“Nice to meet you,” I chortle, then clear my throat. “I’m glad you asked me to stay. I kinda wanted to do arms anyway.”

“Ok!” he says, jubilantly clapping his hands loudly together. “I spot you; you spot me.”

I can’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm.

“You can spot me, but there is no way I’ll be able to help you if one of those bars comes down on your throat.”

He just laughs, “We won’t be using barbells.”

“Oh,” I say quietly as my cheeks warm. 

He hands me a set of dumbells, and we start, going through various arm exercises that he guides us through. By the third rep, he’s standing behind me, tapping my shoulders lightly.

“Don’t bring them to your ears. Just relax.”

I nod my head, “Got it.”

We continue on, working through various dumbbell arm exercises. I take every tip and suggestion he provides, and I’m grateful the workout has my face flushed because every word of encouragement and praise he throws my way has me overheating.

Forty minutes pass when the repetitions become more difficult to complete. I push through the burn, wondering if my heavy breathing is from the exertion or his proximity as I begin to struggle. I grit my teeth, my arms trembling through the last few v-raises as they become much too difficult to execute.

“You got it,” he cheers me on. “You're doing so good.”

“I can’t,” I groan, wanting to drop the equipment but hating to disappoint him.

“Yes, you can,” he urges as he sets his own weights down. “Let me help you a little bit.”

Jooheon steps behind me, his body so close I can actually feel the heat radiating from him. His arms extend, and I watch through the mirror as the palms of his hands glide across my skin before gently pressing up at my elbows. His breath blows across my ear, and I have to bite down on my lower lip to suppress a sigh and a shiver. Swallowing thickly, my eyes shut in order to block out the image of us in the mirror.

“OK,” I say more to myself as I try to clear my head.

“Don’t forget to breathe.” 

My eyes open, and he smirks at me through the mirror as if he knows the very inappropriate thoughts that are running through my mind.

“Right,” I nod, unable to think of anything else to say, and my face reddens even more as I try to look anywhere but at our reflections.

We lift together, his hands just barely touching me now as I focus on raising my arms without his help. We get through five before he takes the dumbbells from me.

“Good work,” he beams proudly as he puts the weights away. “I have to go now,” he informs me after glancing at his watch. “I have a concert tonight.”

“Yeah, I know,” I smile. “I’ll be there.”

“Really?” The smile he throws my way is so pleased; his eyes have disappeared into little slits again. “What seats do you have?” I tell him, and he tsks. “Let me get you something closer. I’ll leave a ticket for you at the box, ok?”

“You don’t have to,” I try and decline, not wanting him to think I want to take advantage of him.

“Let me, ok?” he insists with a pout. He looks around and grabs a brochure and pen that were near the door. “Put your first and last name here and phone number.”

“I’m here with my cousin….”

“There’s no problem. I’ll leave two tickets.”

I take the brochure and pen and find a spot where I can write my name and phone number. 

“Here you go.”

Taking it back, Jooheon asks, “Do you want to come up and have dinner with me after the concert?”

   Taken aback, I try to push down the panic and excitement as I battle within myself, wanting to say hell the fuck yes vs. I really really shouldn’t.

I mumble, “Mmm, I don’t know….”

“ I promise to be perfect gentleman.”

The glint in his eyes is telling me the opposite, and I smirk cocking an eyebrow at him, not hiding the fact that I don’t believe him. He shrugs and winks.

“Ok. Fine,” I find myself saying, a nervous flutter tickling my stomach.

“OK,” he repeats with a grin. “I’ll see you at the concert and then after.”

“Yes.”

He slips on a face mask. Then, placing a hat over his sweaty locks, he draws the bill down low and walks me out the doors. 

“Thanks for the workout,” he murmurs through the face mask as he stops outside the gym.

“Anytime,” I shrug with a smile

“I’m going this way. Bye-bye.”

“Bye.” I walk in the opposite direction, a dazed smile on my face. By the time I step into my room, I’m wondering if the interaction has all been just a daydream. My cousin stretches drowsily in the bed but then sits up straight as her gaze lands on me.

“What happened?”

I plop down into the desk chair and wheel around to face her, my eyes still wide.

“You are never going to believe this,” I shake my head. “I’m still not sure that I even believe it myself, to be honest.”

“What is it?” she insists, pulling back the covers to let her feet plant firmly on the carpeted floor. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Guess who I saw at the gym?”

She eyes me warily even as she offers “Monsta X” with a snicker.

I cock an eyebrow at her, and she stills.

“You saw Monsta X in the gym?!”

“Not all of them, just Jooheon.”

“Jooheon?!” she nearly screeches. “As in your ultimate bias?”

I can’t help but grin now as I nod and tell her everything that happened. Suddenly my heart falls heavily into my stomach.

“I just realized he didn’t tell me his room number! How am I going to meet up with him after the concert?”

“Don’t freak out. You said you gave him your number, so maybe he’s going to call you. On the other hand, he’s probably just trying to play it safe,” she points out. “You just met, so it’s not like he can fully trust you.”

“That’s true,” I allow. 

“Now, go take a shower and get yourself a nap. I have a feeling this is going to be a loooong night for you,” she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at me.

“Stop,” I whine. 

“I’m just sayin’,” she shrugs. “Your boy deserves the Gluck Gluck 3000, so Imma need you to deliver.”

“Oh my God,” I groan with a huff.

I shove her playfully, my face flushing pink at the insinuations. She falls onto the bed, clutching at her belly as she cackles boisterously. Her laughter is still audible even after I close the bathroom door behind me.

“That was amazing!” my cousin sighs blissfully beside me as we make our way to the car.

I hum in agreement, my heart still racing from the experience of the hi-wave and the send-off.

“It sure was.”

“Your boy really had a hard time keeping his eyes away from you,” she bumps me playfully. I could only giggle because she was right. “That one time he crouched down next to us?” She shakes her head. “I have no idea how you are still alive right now.”

“I’m not,” I clutch at my chest. “This is my ghost you’ve been talking to since this morning, actually.”

“Well, you better get back into your body, girl,” she chuckles as we approach the vehicle. “Joohoney is going to need you alive and well.”

We both burst into laughter as we get into the car. While she drives off, I rummage through the totes we were given when we arrived at the venue. 

“That was really nice of him to leave us gifts,” I murmur as I dig through the beanie, shirt, and baseball cap until I reach what I’m searching for. I take out the photocards and look at them again. “Having the guys autograph the PC’s, too? He really didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah. That was super sweet. I know I’m not alone in thinking we would have been just as happy with only the tickets,” she smiles, genuinely touched by the gesture.

“No, I agree, for sure.”

The ride back was quick, the hotel only being ten minutes from the venue. I take a quick shower, and it’s not long after that I’m standing in front of the full-length mirror eyeing myself, disappointed sighs slipping past my lips as I turn this way and that. I am not satisfied no matter which angle I present to the mirror.

It’s not like I had actually planned on meeting any of the members of Monsta X, so I hadn’t brought anything fancy to wear. In fact, I was dressed the complete opposite of fancy. I was extremely casual in a pair of dark blue regular fit jeans, the flesh of my thighs and knees peeking through the random rips on the material. My top was simple, an olive green v-neck t-shirt that I tried to dress up with the same jewelry I had worn to the concert: a silver necklace with a bee charm that dangles delicately just above my cleavage, the Jooheon version of the TTG bracelet on my right wrist.

“He already saw you sweaty and in workout clothes,” my cousin tsks at me. “Stop bashing yourself. You look great.”

“Ugh,” I groan in exasperation. “Did you see how some Monbebe were dressed? They were gorgeous. How can I compete with that? That’s probably why he hasn’t called. He took one good look at me at the hi-wave and was like, ‘nah’.”

My cousin tugs me to the bed, and we both fall back onto it.

“You need to get those negative thoughts out of your head,” she commands firmly. “He gave you better seats; he gave you a swag bag,” she counts off on her fingers. Then looking at me, she adds, “He asked you to eat with him…while you were both funky from working out. He’s gonna call.”

I meet her gaze and see assurance staring back at me. I try and fight back a smile but fail miserably.

“Well, when you put it like-”

An instrumental version of “Magnetic” cuts me off and we both gasp, shooting up off of the bed.

“Oh shit!” my cousin exclaims. “Pick it up! Hurry.”

“What if it’s not him?” I fret as I snatch up my phone. “It says ‘Unknown Caller’.”

“Really?” my cousin deadpans. “Who else would be calling damn near midnight?”

I chuckle sheepishly and swipe my finger across the screen to accept the call.

“Hello?” I answer as nonchalantly as possible.

“Hello. Is this Y/N Y/LN? “Yes. It is. Who am I speaking with?”

I look up to see my cousin grinning across from me as the unfamiliar voice comes through the speaker of my cellphone.

“My name is Alex with the Monsta X US security team. I’m calling on behalf of Jooheon. If you are still interested in accepting the invitation, he extended to you, then please meet me at the elevator lobby of the 8th floor.”

“Yeah,” I nod dumbly. “Yes. I’m still interested. I’m just a few floors down, so I’ll be up in a minute.”

“Ok. I’ll see you then.”

The call disconnects, and I grab my cousin’s hands and squeal in a mixture of excitement and nervousness. She laughs and pulls me in for a hug.

“Don’t forget to breathe,” she grins. “And whatever they make you sign, just know that shit don’t apply to me, right? I need every little detail from the moment you walk into his room to the moment you leave. Got that?”

I giggle as she walks me to the door, “Oh, for sure.”

“Ok, here’s your key card, and you have your phone.” Hands on my shoulders, her eyes lock onto mine as her tone becomes serious. “If you become uncomfortable, or shit goes sideways, you call me. I don’t give a fuck what time it is. I took my shit off Do Not Disturb just for you, bitch.”

I smile fondly at her, “Well, I guess you really do love me. You don’t take your phone off Do not Disturb for no one.”

“You got that right.”

“But seriously, yes. I will call you if anything goes wrong.”

Giving me another hug, she opens the door for me.

“Now go have fun,” she winks as she wiggles her fingers at me.

I can only laugh as I step out into the hall and make my way to the elevators. Inside, I swipe the card, press the eight, and watch as it lights up. I feel my heart begin to beat unnaturally fast as butterflies flutter furiously in my belly. I’m so focused on breathing to relax that I jump when the elevator pings and the doors open. So much for calming my heart rate.

Waiting a few steps away from the doors is a man dressed in all black, possibly in his later 20s or early 30s. He motions with his hand for me to approach him. I step off of the elevator and hear the doors close softly behind me.

“You’re name?” he asks, and I answer automatically as I look around. There was no one else in this area. “ID, please.” I frown but open my phone case to provide him a view of my driver’s license. He nods, and I close the case. “I’m Alex. We’re just going to move over to the hallway. I have a form I need you to fill out. Do you know what an NDA is?” I nod. “Great. I just need you to read over it. If you agree with the terms, just sign the bottom, and you are good to go.”

“Ok,” I reply meekly.

As we come out of the lobby, we make a right into the hallway, where there is a table. Another man is sitting there, and he passes Alex a clipboard with a sheet of paper and a pen. I glance passed them to see a young woman in a pink halter top that exposes her toned abdomen. The matching mini circle skirt reveals a pair of long shapely legs. The white platform shoes she wears accentuate her lovely calves. She is absolutely gorgeous, and I can’t help but feel insecure about how I look compared to her. 

I watch as the door she’s in front of opens, and the smile on her face widens as she steps in. Whoever answers speaks too softly for me to make out which member she was there to see. 

“Here you go,” Alex draws my attention back to him as he hands me the clipboard. 

I smile weakly at him, “Thanks.”

Looking down at the sheets in front of me, I swallow thickly as I skim over the words. I would not be able to post about the encounter on social media. I would not be permitted to post pictures taken during my time with Jooheon. If I violated the terms of the agreement, I would be fined. Depending on the extent of the information released, I could also be sued. I had no plans on blabbing about my time with Jooheon…except with my cousin. No one would believe me anyway. Signing at the bottom, I return the clipboard to Alex.

“Thanks,” he smiles down at me as he passes it to the other person. “Come on.” I follow quietly behind him, my palms beginning to grow clammy. “You can keep your cellphone, but keep in mind what you just signed. Anything that happens once you are with the artist cannot be shared in any form on social media. You cannot speak to journalists or the news. Got it?”

I nod, “Got it.”

“Ok, go ahead and knock,” he instructs. “Have a good night.”

“Thanks. You, too,” I reply as he begins to walk away.

Taking a deep breath, I bring my hand up to rap my knuckles against the door. I catch sight of my watch lighting up with 00:00 just as the door opens. I feel my entire body shut down as Jooheon comes into my line of vision. When I see that he is dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a black and white striped tank top, not something fancy, my body restarts, and I offer him a bashful smile.

“Come in,” he smiles back as he widens the door. “The food’s already here. Is that ok?” I look over at the coffee table in the center of the room to find it loaded with various containers of food, two shot glasses, and several bottles of soju chilling in a bucket of ice. “I was missing home, so the staff sent up Korean food.”

“I like Korean,” I nod as he draws me in closer to the food after closing and locking the door behind us. “Oh, uhm, my shoes,” I pause before going any further.

“You can leave them by the door, or you can keep them on if you want.”

I glance over my shoulder to see his shoes by the door, so I go back to leave mine right next to his. 

“So what exactly do we have?” I ask as he guides me to sit on the carpeted floor.

He hands me a pair of chopsticks and then begins to open everything, naming the different dishes as he goes. 

“This is tteokbokki, and this is mandu. Here is tonkatsu. I also have bap, uh rice, and salad.”

He smiles at me, and I glance over everything, looking for a plate of my own. Not finding one, I look back up at Jooheon.

“Uhm…is there a plate…”

He chuckles endearingly at me, a small hint of amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“No, no. We share food. We eat together from same plates.”

Right. Here’s to hoping I don’t make a mess in front of the one person I admire so much.

“OK,” I look down at everything nervously.

Jooheon grabs his phone and loads a slow R&B playlist, adjusting the volume down low before setting his phone on the table. At first, we ate quietly, letting the music fill the hushed space. I’m too focused on making sure I don’t drop anything I find I don’t feel awkward anymore. With the smooth, melodic tunes playing soothingly around us, it actually feels quite comfortable, and I let myself relax. It’s not so bad being close to him, so close our knees keep brushing against each other as we reach over for different assortments of food. No, it’s not so bad when I’m not looking directly at his face.

“It’s good, right?” Jooheon catches my attention just as I bring a thick piece of tteokbokki into my mouth.

“Mhmm,” I hum with a few nods as I try to chew through the gummy morsel enough to be able to swallow it down so I can offer a proper reply. Jooheon chuckles as I clear my throat. “Everything is so good. I skipped dinner, I’m surprised I didn’t pass out during the concert,” I admit. “But I’m glad I didn’t eat before because this is soo yummy, and I wouldn’t have had room for it.”

“Oh! Come, you have a little something….” Jooheon murmurs distractedly even as his hand reaches out towards my face. My eyes widen, and my breath catches in my throat as he palms my cheek. Just when I was starting to feel at ease, I groan internally. I feel the blood drain from my face as I wonder: Is it time? Is this his way of telling me he’s ready to…to… His eyes flick to mine, searching as he says, “You’re shaking. Are you cold?” I swallow thickly, my cheeks flushing slightly as heat creeps back up. I shake my head, and his brow wrinkles as he assures, “I’m not gonna hurt you, ya know?”

I nod, “I know.” Unable to take the intensity of his gaze any longer, I look down at my hands. Not liking that I caused him concern, I let out a shaky breath, admitting, “I just…I like you too much, so I’m just… I’m really nervous.”

Jooheon uses his index finger to lift my chin, gently forcing me to look back up at him. “But you don’t even know me.”

The slight smile he gives me deepens his dimples, but the gesture does not fool me. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and the ache in my heart at his tone tells of the weight the words carry. He’s right, though. I don’t know him. Not really. I see what he allows the world to see, the version of him the company portrays. But that’s just a part of him, not all.

His thumb wipes away whatever had been at the corner of my mouth, and I watch, entranced as he brings the digit to his mouth. My own lips fall slightly open when he begins to suck at his thumb, my breathing growing a smidge heavier. My thoughts stutter to a halt, and my tongue swipes slowly across my lips. Jooheon winks, removing his thumb and returning to eating as if nothing had just happened. 

Meanwhile, my heart struggles to settle down, my core is throbbing, and my underwear is beginning to grow unpleasantly damp. The rice cakes I’d just been munching on seem unnaturally thick now as my throat grows dry. I reach over for a bottle of water. Twisting off the cap, the contents are nearly gone before I realize Jooheon is watching me with a bemused smile.

“What?” I awkwardly wipe the back of my hand across my moist lips.

He chuckles, and it does nothing to help my sudden unquenchable thirst.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, a closed smile showing just how tickled he is with me. “Ready for some soju?”

Maybe that would help relax me. 

“Yes.”

“Let’s go!”

I grab a piece of tonkatsu and watch him as he takes one of the green bottles from the ice bucket. First, he swirls the bottle around creating a little tornado inside. Next, Jooheon flips the bottle upside down and knocks the bottom with his elbow. As he brings it right-side up, he twists off the cap, and then, opening his index and middle finger, he jabs at the neck of the bottle, spilling a very small amount onto the table.

“Oh!” I exclaim, pleased by the display. “Fancy.” 

“To Y/N, for coming to see Monsta X and cheering so loudly.”

I laugh as he serves me a shot, but as he moves to pour one for himself, I stop him.

“Let me.” Jooheon’s eyebrows rise, but he doesn’t stop me. “I might not know much about your culture, but I do know you’re not supposed to pour your own shot.”

“Ok, you know what’s up.” The impressed smile on his face makes my own widen. 

I cup the bottle in both hands and pour him a shot. “To Jooheon, who worked so hard and always does his best to give us great music.”

“Aish, I’m honored, but none of that two-hands stuff, ok? We are friends, right?” 

“Uh, yes?”

He sucks his teeth at me, pretending to be upset, and I can’t help but snicker. We both pick up our shot glasses, and he lifts his up towards me. 

“Geonbae!”

“Geonbae!” I parrot.

I giggle as he clinks his glass with mine before we both throw back the shots. I suppress a shiver as the liquor slightly burns a warm path down to my stomach.

“Good?” Jooheon cocks an eyebrow at me.

“Real good,” I admit. “Another?”

“Ok!”

He pours me another shot, and I do the same for him. We swallow those up, and I can feel the liquor already easing my nerves. He says I don’t know him, but would it even be possible for me to change that? After tonight, would it even matter if I knew who he was besides Monsta X’s Joohoney? I decide that, even if it’s just for a few hours, it is worth knowing the man that’s sitting right next to me.

“So,” I speak up, using liquid courage. “How have you been?”

Jooheon looks up mid-bite, “Well, we’ve been real busy preparing for the concert. I’ve been working hard on perfecting my steps….”

“I’m sorry,” I stop him. “While it’s nice to know about your work, I’m not here to interview you. I don’t want to know about Joohoney. I want to know how Lee Jooheon is.”

His eyes squint at me, his index finger pressing pensively at his lips. Had I overstepped? Maybe he didn’t understand? I only meant for him to feel like a person, not an idol, if even for tonight. I open my mouth to clarify, but at the same moment, he straightens up, and the warm smile returns to his face.

“Ok,” he starts. “Thank you for asking about me. I appreciate that.” He pats his chest as he says this. “I actually been doing really good. Of course, I miss my family, and just like anyone, I have days when things are a bit too much in my head, but now I have ways to help me work through it, so…” he shrugs.

“That’s really good to hear. I can’t imagine living the life you do,” I shake my head. “It just all seems so overwhelming.”

“Idol life is a tough one, that’s for sure, but I get to travel, meet new people, and make music, which is what I love to do. No one ever got to live their dream without some hard work, so it all seems worth it for me.”

We go back and forth, asking each other questions for some time before we realize we’ve gone through three bottles of soju. I’d been having so much fun getting to know the “real” Jooheon that the time just blew by. I’m already feeling a little fuzzy in my brain and definitely far more relaxed than when I first came in. 

Nodding my head to his latest reply, I then ask, “Ok, so what have you watched recently that you think I should watch, too?” 

“Ya! That reminds me. I was hoping we could watch a movie,” he says as he starts to get up and clear off the bottles and containers of food. “Unless you have to go….”

“No. I can stay,” I reply, maybe a little too quickly, even after I glance at my watch to see it’s almost 1:30 in the morning. Despite the food and alcohol, I’m surprised to find I’m not sleepy at all.

“Are you sure? What about your friend?” he asks, a bit too casually.

“My cousin,” I correct. “And she’s fine.”

“Ok, ok. Well, I’ll just clean up here, and we can start it.”

I help him clean up the remaining garbage. His room was different than mine in that it had a living room area, and the bedroom was separate. I glance around for a bathroom. All that alcohol was wreaking havoc on my bladder.

“Is it ok if I use the bathroom?” 

“Yeah, sure.” He tips his chin towards the open doorway beside the couch. “It’s in there.” I make my way there but stop at the entrance. Peering in, I’m surprised to see everything so tidy. I’m not sure why I’m so amazed by the neatness of the space. I just figured an idol is too busy to clean up, clothes and snacks strewn everywhere. But this looks like no one had even slept in this room yet. “It’s ok. You can go in.”

I look over my shoulder to see Jooheon smiling reassuringly at me as he wipes his hands on his jeans. He shoos me with his hands, and I head straight into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

The bathroom is clean as well, a light scent of men’s shower gel clinging to the air still. As I sit to relieve myself, I shoot my cousin a quick text.

ME: Everything's good. Jooheon’s super sweet, and we’re having a really good time just talking and drinking.

I set my phone down, finishing up, not expecting a reply, but as I button up, I hear the vibrations on the bathroom counter. Washing my hands, I dry them quickly and open the new message.

COUSIN: Talking and Drinking? Is that what adults are calling it these days? 😜

ME: 😅Nope. Everything is still PG. We are about to watch a movie.

COUSIN: 🤭Enjoy the “movie” I’ll be here reading for a bit more. Call me if you need me.

ME: I will 😘

COUSIN: 😘

Locking my phone, I slip it into my back pocket and look at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are literally glittering in the bathroom light, and my cheeks hold a blush that tells of the laughter and maybe the alcohol we had been partaking in. I smile giddily at myself, whispering, “holy shit!” as I turn around and exit the bathroom, only to halt in place as I switch off the light.

Jooheon is sitting up in bed, legs crossed at the ankles and phone in hand as he loads a movie he is casting from the device. 

“Hey! Just in time,” he waves me over. “Come. Sit.”

“We’re going to watch it here?” I fidget with the hem of my shirt.

“Yes,” he shrugs as he stands. “Comfier. Sit. My turn,” he points behind me.

He squeezes my shoulder as he walks past me and into the bathroom. I approach the bed and look down at it. Jooheon slept here, I think to myself. I’m going to be sitting on the same bed as Lee Jooheon…with Lee Jooheon, I correct. 

Shaking my head, I force the thoughts out, put my phone on the nightstand, and climb onto the bed. By now, I think I’ve pretty much given up on the idea that anything will happen between us. Maybe he was not looking for someone to fuck tonight. Perhaps he was just wanting to have a casual night with someone outside of Monsta X. Someone to do ‘friendship’ things with. That would make sense why he picked me versus any of the pretty Monbebe I saw today. I try not to feel too disappointed as I make myself comfortable. Either way, I was having fun just hanging out with him. Propping up a few pillows behind me, I’m adjusting my shirt when he comes out. 

“Ready?” he asks as he turns off the light in the room.

“Yeah, what are we watching?”

“One of my favorite movies, if that’s ok? It’s called ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.’ Have you seen it?”

“Never heard of it,” I admit.

“진짜 (jinjja)?!”

Jooheon’s mouth drops open, his eyes wide as he stares at me. I cover my mouth as I try to hold back a giggle. He looks so cute when he looks at me with that shocked expression.

“Yeah, really,” I snicker.

“Yah! You have no idea what you’re missing!” He’s swift to sit next to me on the bed and press play from his phone. “Let’s get it!”

I let out a little laugh but quiet down as the audio begins. The movie draws me in as I feel myself relating to the male protagonist. The quirkiness of the female protagonist soon has me laughing at her antics. It’s not long before the sweetness of the blossoming relationship takes a dramatic turn.

“What?!” I scrunch my face. “Why is he crying? Was there a time jump I missed?”

Jooheon chuckles, “You have to watch and see.” I purse my lips at him, and this makes him laugh. “Stop,” he bumps my shoulder. “I won’t spoil it for you.” He pats my hand and then laces his fingers with mine. I look down at them, loving how natural it feels. Sobering up, he asks, “Is this ok?”

I nod, murmuring, “Yeah.”

“OK.”

We both return our attention to the movie, but my heart has started fluttering behind my ribcage. His hand is so soft, warm against mine, and I love how it feels. 

“Wait, I thought this was a rom-com,” I stiffen when things become a little strange. “Is this actually a scary movie?”

“I told you I’m not going to spoil it,” he smirks at me. “Are you scared?”

I shake my head, “I wouldn’t say scared, but maybe a little…on edge. It seems like it’s going the way of horror.”

Jooheon presses his lips together to keep his features from giving anything away. 

“I can hold you if you want. You know, if you’re scared?”

“N-” I stop myself. Am I really turning down the opportunity to be held by the one person I believe to be the most handsome man in the world? When will I have this chance again? “I mean, if that’s ok with you….”

“Yeah, come.” 

Jooheon lets go of my hand, patting the space in front of his now spread legs. I try to force any inappropriate thoughts from my head as I maneuver over his leg in order to sit where he directs me. I nestle against his torso and fight to hide a smile as he snakes an arm across my chest while his other hand settles on my hip.

Instead of feeling awkward, the position feels comfortable, and we continue to watch the movie. Occasionally the hand at my hip would squeeze, and I swear it was as if he were touching me directly in my most intimate place. Then, halfway through the movie, when he shifts his arm to stretch it, he accidentally grazes over my breast, and I audibly inhale as a jolt of electricity shoots down straight to my core. 

Jooheon stiffens for a moment. The handle I believed I had on my impure thoughts seems to disappear, and my hips shift, seeking any sort of friction to soothe the ache that had been building between my legs the whole night. Jooheon draws in a shaky breath just as his hands glide down my ribcage and to my hips. A grunt escapes my lips when he hooks his fingers into my belt loops and tugs me up high and tighter against him.

“Well damn,” I breathe.

The soft chuckle he lets out into my ear has my eyes closing. My tongue swipes slowly across my lips as his hands trail back up to cup my breasts.

“You want me to stop,” he murmurs, “just tell me.”

I nod my understanding, whispering back, “It’s ok,” as if I were afraid the spell would break.

Those beautiful hands of his that I had always admired in photographs or from my screen now squeeze at my covered tits, and I can’t even keep from arching into his palms, soft moans spilling from my lips. He reaches down for the hem of my shirt, and for a second, I feel panic. The thought of this man seeing me without clothes just seems so overwhelmingly out of this world. It’s something I never imagined would ever happen that, even as it’s currently going on, my brain just cannot wrap itself around it. He shimmies the shirt up and over my head, and I’m grateful that the only light comes from the tv. 

Jooheon picks up the necklace from my chest and asks, “Did you wear this for me?”

I can hear the smile in his words as he toys with the little bee charm.

“Yes,” I glance away from his fingers.

“That’s cute.”

“Stop,” I blush.

Jooheon chuckles then nips at the top of my ear as he drops the necklace. I let out a gasp when he returns his attention to my bra-covered globes. His thumbs brush over my nipples, the nubs instantly hardening even more. I grip onto his thighs, trying to find something to steady me. The muscle there is thick, hard beneath my palms, and my mind conjures up some very erotic images of me riding one of his thighs.

Wasting no more time, his fingers trace a path down to my jeans, where they deftly release the button. My breath catches as my attention hyper-focuses on his hand as he slides the zipper down and then slips beneath the hem of my underwear. The instant the pad of his finger glides over my clit, a shock of electric heat shoots throughout my body. The sensations feel way too good; I can no longer hold my head up and let it fall against his chest.

Jooheon delves lower and soon discovers exactly just how much I am enjoying everything so far. A mixture of a purr and groan rumbles in his throat as he swirls his finger around my juices, pulling a moan from me. Bringing his focus back to my most sensitive bundle of nerves, I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. His movements are slow at first, stoking the embers that he had already lit with his previous ministrations. I don’t even realize he’s brought a hand back up to one of my breasts until he’s pinching at my nipple. He pulls the cup down, removing the barrier, and the warmth of his hand directly on my flesh is searing hot. His thumb flicks rapidly against the pebbled nub, and the fingers at my clit also pick up the pace. 

“Oh, God!” 

I rut against his fingers, my cheeks flushing with heat not only from the pleasure that is building but also from shame. I am utterly mortified at how desperate I am for him. Yet, at the same time, I can’t stop myself. My hips roll of their own accord, faster, more desperately, and I push away all thoughts seeking more of what he is offering. I focus on how good he is making me feel. His slim fingers, slick with my arousal, slide so smoothly over my sensitive bud, making my back arch and my eyes to close tightly.

“Shit,” I pant.

I can feel his erection poking at my back, and I wish so badly he would just fuck me with it already. 

“That’s it,” he presses his plush lips to the back of my neck. “Just let go.”

He sucks at my ear, moaning softly as his fingers speed up. I bite down on my bottom lip, trying to quiet my moans.

“Let me hear you, baby.” Jooheon’s voice is low, gravelly with lust. “Say my name.”

I gasp loudly as stars burst behind my eyelids. A flood of warmth shoots through my body, and my hands push roughly down on his as my clit throbs.

“Oh, fuck, Jooheon!” I grit out as he brings me over the edge. “Jooheon!”

My hips jut forward a few more times as his fingers try to move beneath the vice-like pressure my hand has on his wanting to drag out my release. As over sensitivity soon takes over, I pull his hand away and attempt to catch my breath. Jooheon kisses my head tenderly, his hands soothingly coasting up and down my arms as he waits for me to come down from my high.

Holy shit! I think to myself. Did that just really happen?!

As the bliss of the moment slowly ebbs away and reality sets in, it’s all I can do not to freak out. I am so grateful he can’t see my face and the grin I am fighting so hard to keep from breaking out on my lips. 

“괜찮아 (Gwaenchana-Are you ok)?”

The deep timbre of his voice breaks into my rampant thoughts. Am I ok? “Mhmm,” I nod dumbly.

Hell yeah, I am!

“Let me see,” he insists.

I press my lips together as I sit up, fixing my bra before maneuvering around so that I am now kneeling between his legs. Jooheon has a very pleased grin on his face that makes it difficult to keep one of my own from finally breaking free.

“See?” I say playfully.

Jooheon lifts a hand up to my chin, his thumb swiping across my mouth. His eyes darken, the stare intense as he watches me. Instantly, my heart thrums back to life behind my ribcage. Then, like a magnet, I’m drawn down towards him. Jooheon stretches to meet me part way, and we both swallow each other's sharp inhales when our lips finally crash against each other.

And his plush lips feel even more incredible than anything I could have imagined. Jooheon wraps an arm around my lower back, pulling me tighter against him. Hands on his shoulders, I wriggle out of his hold and break the kiss. I’m going to lose my mind, with how good he looks. His cheeks are flushed, and his lips are swollen from our passionate kiss. 

“Where are you going?” he whines with a pout.

“Not far,” I tease. “Just returning the favor.”

“Returning the fav-” His voice trails off as I reach for the button of his jeans. Eyes locked on my hands, he breathes out, “Oh….”

I can’t help but giggle as he eagerly lifts his ass to help me get his jeans and boxers off. The cock that springs out in front of me is achingly pink and stiff. Knowing he got this way just from touching me greatly boosts my confidence. Tossing the pants over the edge of the bed, I look up to see Jooheon cock an eyebrow at me. 

I huff out a short laugh, “Fine.”

I hop off the bed. With my jeans already unbuttoned and unzipped, it only takes me two seconds to remove my own pants and socks. They join his pants on the ground with a hushed thump. As the movie continues to play in the background, I return to the bed to find Jooheon completely naked. In the short time it took me to take off my pants, he’d removed his tank top and socks. 

 Lying on the bed, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip, he is complete perfection. The dim lighting the TV provides does nothing to diminish the soft glow of his tanned skin. Though he is not bulky with muscle, there are still shadows cast across his lean upper body and abdomen that beg to be traced and explored.

Crawling back between his legs, I watch the abdominal muscle beneath his skin contract in anticipation. My nipples tighten behind my bra as my own core contracts at the sight of him. I flit my eyes up to meet his heavy-lidded ones and watch his Adam’s Apple bob anxiously in his throat as I bring my mouth closer to his weeping dick. The hiss he lets out as his tip meets my tongue is music to my ears. He tries so hard to keep his eyes open, to watch as I wrap my lips around him, but his head falls back as he lets out a deep groan, hands fisting in the comforter. Flattening my tongue and relaxing my jaw, I slowly take him deeper and deeper inside my warm, wet mouth.

“Oh, shit,” he curses as he looks back down.

His pupils are completely blown out, his eyes appearing black as they watch me intently. Seeing him so wrecked because of what I’m doing emboldens me. Lifting up to lap at the tip of him, my fingers envelop his shaft. He reaches a hand out to cradle my head, urging me to take him in again. I don’t fight it, letting him guide me back down along his length. My hand and mouth work in tandem, sliding up and down his cock. Hollowing my cheeks, I swirl and curl my tongue around him, and the long-drawn-out groans that it pulls forth from him have moans and whimpers of my own vibrating up my throat. 

I can feel him growing harder against my tongue, so I’m slightly surprised when his hand shifts from my head down to my chin and tilts it up. His dick slips out of my mouth with a lewd pop, and he almost looks like he regrets stopping me.

“What?” I ask as I wipe the back of my hand across my lips.

Had I done something wrong?

“Fuck,” he breathes, closing his eyes. Looking back down at me, he pats his lap. “Come up here.”

I smile in relief and eagerly obey, straddling him. His mouth is instantly on mine, his hands sliding down to grab my ass. Wrapping my arms around his neck, it feels as if I just can’t get any closer to him. Our bodies roll against each other, and by this point, my panties are completely ruined. I feel one of his hands trail up to my bra and unclasp it. He breaks the kiss to help me remove it completely. It joins the pile on the carpeted floor. 

Delving down, his plump lips latch onto one of my nipples. My back arches, giving him easier access, and I reach behind me to grab at his cock, stroking him as he sucks on me. My hips roll, seeking friction to ease the tension that is building.

“Jooheon!” I whimper.

“Ok, baby,” he murmurs as he moves to my other breast.

Though I had cum already, seeing him like this, hearing him like this, his mouth all over me, I was ready again for another.

“Please, Jooheon,” I plead.

I was so far gone that I didn’t care; I was begging. I wanted him, needed to feel him inside me so badly; I didn’t care how needy I sounded at the moment.

He chuckles before kissing me between my breasts. Leaning back, he hooks his finger on my underwear and snaps it against my skin.

“Take these off.”

I nod, scampering off of him to remove them in record time. I throw the sodden material into the darkness beyond, drawing another chuckle from Jooheon.

“Hush,” I chastise him playfully.

He leans over to grab his wallet from the bedside table and pulls out a condom. Dropping the wallet back on the table, he makes quick work slipping the rubber on. Jooheon coaxes me back to his lap. Spreading wide, I help him guide his dick to my entrance. We both let out blissful moans as I slowly slide down his length. The stretch has my eyes closing, and I can feel his hands digging into my sides. 

Bottoming out, we both take a moment to let me adjust to the intrusion. He peppers my chest with opened mouth kisses that have another layer of slickness coating my walls and his cock. I have never been so aroused in my life. I rock my hips and feel him twitch inside me, his hands tightening at my hips. I let my hands rest on his shoulders, using them to help me lift higher only to slowly grind down on him.

“Damn, baby,” Jooheon purrs.

He matches my rhythm, and we are both panting, drawing ever so close to the release we are both seeking. At first, his hands loosen at my hips, letting me lead. The more desperate we become, his hands grip fervently to my hips, helping me move faster over him. 

“God, that feels so good!”

I’m so close that I can barely focus. My walls constrict and release around Jooheon, and his head falls back. My hands slip behind his neck, my fingers gripping the strands there. His eyes widen, flitting to mine, and I feel him pulse inside me as a deep groan rumbles up from his chest. 

Fuck, that’s so hot! He is so close; I can feel it, as am I. I roll and rock my waist, taking him in deeper. One of his hand's snakes in between us. The pleasure intensifies as his fingers find my clit; my head falls back, and my eyes shut. It’s all so much.

“Look at me, baby,” Jooheon grits out.

“Jooheon,” I whimper as I struggle to comply. 

Meeting his gaze, I let out a moan at the sight of his fucked out face. Sweaty strands of hair cling to his forehead and temples, his cherry lips look completely ravished, and his own eyes are barely opened slits, but it’s enough. It’s enough for him to see me and know he’s got me just as whipped.

“Turn around for me, baby,” Jooheon urges.

Through my haze, I manage to get off of his lap. My limbs feel heavy, but I get on my knees and forearms anyway. His palm caresses my ass and gives it a gentle smack. Fuck, I think I’m going to lose my mind! Aligning his cock with my center, I don’t even have a moment to take a breath. He’s thrusting into my soaking wet cunt with no warning.

“Oh my God!”

I can feel a jolt of pleasure instantly tremble through me. In this new position, I can feel every inch of him. Each thrust feels so deep and tight I can only babble incoherent words and curses as I push back into him. I snake my hand between my legs and delve my fingers into the slickness there. I hiss at how swollen and sensitive my clit is. Instantly, the pleasure heightens.

“That’s it, baby,” Jooheon pants. “Touch yourself.”

Glancing over my shoulder, Jooheon bites down on his lip, and my fingers speed up. The visual and sensations are just too much, and the little bit of control I had been holding onto snaps.

“Fuck, Jooheon!”

My back arches as I clamp around his dick, my walls thrumming and contracting around him. Jooheon’s thrust quicken as he chases after his own ecstasy. My face falls onto the bed, my ass lifting higher. The angle brings him deeper still inside of me, and it’s enough to push him over the edge. A long deep groan falls from his lips as his eyes squeeze shut, the grip on my hips vice-like. His hips stutter up into me, and I can’t help but moan as I feel him pulse inside of me as he cums hard. 

My body feels like jelly, and it takes the last bit of energy I have to turn my head to face Jooheon as he collapses beside me. Jooheon’s smiling face is there to greet me, and I can’t help but return the gesture.

“Hey,” he grins as he scoots closer to me.

“Hey,” I murmur drowsily.

Brushing the hair from my face, he caresses my back tenderly before kissing my shoulder.

“Gotta clean up,” he winks at me, and I can’t believe I dare to blush after all we’ve done.

Burying my face in the comforter, I nod, and he laughs. I feel the bed shift and then hear the click of the bathroom light switch. Forcing myself up, I locate my bra and underwear. After putting on the bra, I slip on the underwear, wincing to find they were still slightly damp in the crotch area. Making my way to the bathroom as well, Jooheon is just washing his hands when I walk in. He gives my ass a pat as he walks out.

“Hey,” I swat his arm in feign annoyance, and he just laughs.

I use the toilet, clean myself up, then wash my hands and face. Rinsing my mouth with the sink water, I finally feel clean enough to go back into the room. Jooheon was under the comforter staring at the TV. That’s right. The movie was still playing. It was pretty late now. Was Jooheon expecting me to leave now that everything was finished? I eye my clothes that are currently on the bedside table instead of the floor. Hmmm. Was that a hint? I approach the pile and reach out for the shirt.

“Can you stay a little longer?” he asks.

I feel a flutter in my stomach.

“Are you sure?” I ask, the initial insecurities creeping back up.

“Yes,” he replies, pulling the comforter down for me to slide into.

What did I have to lose?

“Ok.”

I get in, and he throws the comforter over me.

“Come closer,” he whines.

He meets me part way. Opening his arms towards me, I slide into his embrace. Tucked in comfortably against his chest, the drowsiness pulls at my eyelids.

“Good night, Jooheon,” I yawn and snuggle into his warmth.

“Good night, Y/N,” he parrots, kissing my head.

What is that? I wonder groggily as a loud, incessant sound accosts my ears. I peel my eyes open just when Jooheon lets me go in order to lean over to grab his phone. Turning off the alarm, he groans in displeasure. Rolling back towards me, he pats my arm gently.

“Y/N, baby, you have to wake up.”

“Mmm,” I grunt with a pout and snuggle back into his chest.

I feel the bed shake with Jooheon’s amused chuckles.

“I have to get ready. We are flying out in a few hours.”

“Mmm,” I pout some more, but then I do sit up.

Throwing back the covers, Jooheon gets off the bed and turns on the bedside lamp. I crawl out after him and zombie-walk to my clothes and put them on. I fix my hair as best as I can, and then Jooheon walks me to the door. This had all felt like a dream for me, and I truly did not want it all to end already. Reaching for the door handle, I gasp when Jooheon pushes me flush against it instead, his lips latching onto me so fast my head spins. I wrap my arms behind his neck as I lift up on my tippy toes to press myself further into him.

“I wish I didn’t have to go yet,” he laments as he kisses down my neck. His hands squeeze at my ass as he grinds into me. I can barely think. Only moans and heavy breaths leave my lips. “I really had a great time.”

“Me, too,” I sigh out.

“I want more time with you,” he murmurs into my neck, “But I’m going to be late.”

“We def can’t have that,” I chuckle.

He drops a few more kisses on my lips before he pulls away.

“I hope we can do this again,” he smiles down at me, his dimples deepening.

“Well, you got my number, so,” I shrug, and he laughs.

“I’ll call you,” he nods.

“You’ll call me,” I repeat, my eyes flicking away to stare at his chest instead.

“I will,” Jooheon insists.

He pulls me gently away from the door.

“Ok,” I nod, trying to ignore the excited flutter in my heart.

He pecks my lips one last time. “Ok. I’ll see you, Y/N. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Jooheon opens the door for me, and I step out into the quiet hall. I don’t dare look back, and after a few paces, I hear the door click shut. I see the security table ahead, and Alex is still there, keeping watch with the other guard. He stands up, and I try to avoid eye contact.

“Enjoy the rest of your day, Ms. Y/LN,” he calls as I walk past.

Oh god! I think to myself as my body flushes from head to toe.

“Thanks, Alex,” I glance up quick enough to see the knowing smile on his face. There’s no judgment, but I still feel embarrassed suddenly. “Have a great day, too.”

I ride the elevator alone, and I am thankful. Peeking at my phone, I see it’s just about 4:15 in the morning. Jesus, I am going to be the worst passenger when my cousin and I start our four-hour drive home later today.

Entering our room quietly, I grab fresh underwear and my PJs and head into the bathroom to take a shower. I could still smell the powdery fresh scent of Jooheon on my skin, and I hated washing it away, but I get under the hot stream of the showerhead and scrub my body with my body wash until I was clean again. Dried up and dressed again, I tiptoe to my bed and quietly get under the covers. After making sure my alarm for ten am is still activated, I close my eyes and fall asleep.

“You look rough, girl,” my cousin laughs as we place our bags in the trunk of the car. “I hope Jooheon feels the same.”

I glare at her with a humph as we enter the vehicle. 

Buckling up, I admit, “I’m exhausted, my head is thumpin’ a little, and I just want to sleep for a hundred years.”

“Daammn,” she drags out the word as she pulls out of the hotel parking and onto the main road. “He wore you out that much, huh?” I let out an unladylike snort, and my cousin laughs. “So, tell me what happened. What’s he like?

“Well,” I try to fight off a smile, but my cheeks burn with the force of the grin that graces my lips. “He really is the sweetest, gentlemanly guy I’ve ever met….”

I spare no detail from the moment I stepped out of the elevator up to the moment when things got a little heated. 

“That Alex guy seems pretty cool,” she comments.

“Yeah,” I agree. “He made an awkward situation seem rather normal. Which is what makes me wonder how often they do that, you know, have people sign NDA’s?”

“Who knows,” she shrugs. “I wouldn’t be surprise if it’s quite often, and I wouldn’t be mad about it either. They are grown men, after all, and have their needs.”

“Yeah, I know,” I nod, looking out the window a bit distractedly. “It’s just; I don’t know, Jooheon said he’d call me… I just… my worry is that he goes to the next stop and hooks up with someone else… which he has every right to,” I rush to add. “I don’t know; I guess I just got my hopes up, and that’s my own fault.”

“No, I get it,” my cousin nods. “He said he’d call. Only time will tell if he makes good on that promise. It’s only been a few hours. No sense in stressing about it.”

“You’re right,” I concede. 

“In the meantime, let’s car karaoke!” she shimmies in her seat as she passes me her phone. “We got a long ass drive.”

I laugh but pull up our karaoke playlist, and we begin to sing. 

About two hours into our drive, there is a ping on my cell from an unknown number. I open up the message and gasp as my heart rate picks up. My cousin lowers the music.

“I think it’s him,” I whisper.

“Yeah?” she glances over quickly at me before returning her eyes to the road. “What’s it say?” 

UNKNOWN: I know I promised to call, but i’ve been busy. I finally had a minute while heading to do another interview. Did you get home, ok?

I read out the message and then ask, “Do you think it’s really him?”

“I mean, who else could it be?”

“Alex?” I deadpan.

“Alex?!” she bursts into laughter. “Say that to him and see what he says.”

ME: Who’s this?

UNKNOWN: Aish. Really? Who else can it be? Did you forget me already?

ME: Well, I have to be sure. For all I know, this could be Alex.

UNKNOWN: Alex? Who is Alex?

My cousin and I burst out into hysterical laughter. 

UNKNOWN: Are you talkin about security alex?

UNKNOWN: Why would it be him?

“Ooop,” my cousin purses her lips. “Ya boy’s getting jealous.”

“Stop, no he’s not.”

But I smile at the possibility of it.

ME: If this is really you, tell me something from last night (this morning)...

I watch the three little dots blink, disappear and then reappear before his message comes through.

UNKNOWN: We watched ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.’

“Oh, yeah. It’s him,” I say after reading the message aloud.

UNKNOWN: better said it watched us😜

“If I had any doubts, he just squashed them,” I say as I pat my heated cheeks.

“What’d he say?”

“He says the movie actually watched us.”

“Ooooh, girl!” she smacks my shoulder. “That’s actually really hot.”

“Aggh, I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be,” she reassures me. “Sex is natural, and if he’s making comments like that, he enjoyed his time.”

“I guess so….”

“You guess so?” She shakes her head. “I know so. Now reply to him before he thinks you are a prude.”

“Oh, Lord,” I roll my eyes playfully.

ME: Alright, you little flirt, I see it’s you. 

UNKNOWN: 😏

UNKNOWN:  Save my number. 

Me: Ok

Honey: I have a few interviews and practice, but I’ll be free around 1030 tonight. If you want to try watching the movie again I can call you.

ME: Really? We can do that?

Honey: I’m sure we can. We’ll figure it out.

Me: Ok. yeah. I’d like that.

Honey: We just got to the radio station. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.

ME: Bye

Putting my phone away, I look out at the highway flying by. This all felt like the best dream ever. Never did I ever imagine this would ever happen.

“Alright now,” my cousin brings my attention back to the moment. “You better do your makeup and put on a nice outfit tonight. But first, you should get some sleep as soon as we get home.”

I chuckle even as I give her an incredulous look.

“Why are you always trying to put me to bed?!”

“What?” she tries to plant a stoic expression on her face but cracks a smile instead.  “I’m just saying. You have no idea how long you will stay up this time.”

We both burst into raucous laughter, and I’m so grateful at least one of us is thinking properly because my mind is already racing. My mind is just blown at having the chance to get to know the real Jooheon. 

I don’t know how long this will go on, but I’m going to take a page from my cousin's book. I’m going to let myself enjoy it all while it lasts and not waste time on the what-ifs.

Mood board Credits

Shirtless Jooheon @ooom_xoooo

Couple

Bed sheets

Color squares

Jooheon striped shirt