#anyway all this to say

[gearbox-dollhouse]

Sebastian and Ciel's relationship makes me insane because like. By no stretch is it "normal" or healthy.

But it's. Good.

Like it's not healthy but it also is?

They're definitely really toxic but this is also a conscious choice made by both of them and they are genuinely helping each other. Being with Sebastian helps Ciel work through the trauma he has and feel safe. Genuinely, Sebastian is his best option. I'm 99.9% sure that no one else would be able to help him heal the way Sebastian is.

So their relationship kind of is healthy, given that no one here is actually being hurt in ways they didn't agree to.

Also Ciel can literally order Sebastian to do (or not do) anything and Sebastian has to either obey or break the contract so there's that. If anything Ciel has the most power here.

There's a good balance in their relationship that kinda halfway reverses the power dynamic and I think that's fun.

All in all I think they're one of those pairs that are healthy to each other and absolutely horrible to everyone else.

Like Yes Ciel is doing Bad Things that he wouldn't have before meeting Sebastian but. He's still choosing to do those things. Sebastian isn't forcing him into it. In fact there are many times where Ciel could have Not Done The Thing with zero consequences because either Sebastian would have taken care of it or there were just morally better options. But he still chooses to Do The Thing. Sebastian is at times actively surprised by Ciel's ruthlessness.

They're funky.

[bodega-catto]

AND JESUS IF YOURE THERE WHY DO I FEEL SO ALONE IN THIS ROOM WITH YOU?

[totallynotadisplacer]

Just started reading Seeds of Rebellion (yet again), and Galloran's conversation with the Prophetess in the prologue gets me every time. This lady tells him straight up that his wife and son will die if he goes ahead with the quest for the word. And he still does it. Like, damn bro. At least Corinne survived, rip to her mom and brother, though.

What I wouldn't give to read about his original quest for the word. I know in my heart and soul that it would be the craziest thing ever.

[samssims]

Is that Ella in your new banner?

👀

You can see slightly better on the desktop theme but yes it sure is. She ages up to an adult on Saturday in my queue and I'll be too busy with the new year holiday craziness to update my blog later so it got an early change. Thanks for taking notice 😉

[frogsmulder]

The X Files 30th Anniversary Mulder Appreciation Post

The thing about Mulder for me, more so than Scully (I don't need to explain the cultural impact her representation has for women) is how relatable he is. When I watched the x files for the first time, even as I thought I was a woman at the time, I didn't at all identify with her. I think this is because of how queer/ neurdivergent coded (or at least the lense I read it through) Mulder is. Don't get me wrong, I wholly believe that this is unintentional, but the facets of his character add up in this sense.

I think also the time in which I watched the x files is somewhat removed from it's creation meaning that I have been fortunate enough to not experience workplace misogyny to the same extent that Scully has, meaning I relate to it less (? Idk) and The Scully effect has already taken place unbeknownst to me, so I have seen more women in STEM than there was during the nineties so her representation is less significant to me who watched this in 2019.

First of all, the childhood trauma is very much a real representation neurodivergency. The important thing for me is how it changes him and I forms his character/decisions into adulthood even if he doesn't realise it. There have been several times where Scully has pointed out that Mulder is chasing his sister in whatever little girl their case involves which he denies, to the point where Scully stops mentioning it, even though both we the audience and she can see it.

We can see how it informs his trust issues and attachment/abandonment issues. Mulder is generally a dichotomy of too easily trusting (like of deep throat, phoebe, dianna), which then he knows he gets hurt by, so he is also slow to trust (Scully, Skinner, X), creating an inner turmoil of logic vs feeling. Scully is an especially important example of how trust/attachment inform each other in Mulder, where once he trusts Scully isn't a spy, he immediately trusts her with everything, which is a big leap. With Scully, he feels like he doesn't have to hold back and can be who he really is, which is where the queer coding comes in: in Scully he has an ally.

Aside from the fact that queer people often experience all or some of the above neurologically, socially Mulder shares similar experiences because of his beliefs. He is portrayed as an outsider, who doesn't really fit in, even though it feels like he should: he has other normal hobbies like basketball, he can work well with others in a team and get on well with them (I know he doesn't always most of the time but the point is he can) writing profiles to help out other departments when asked, having a good partnership with Reggie and report with the VCU etc. But he is still shunned and ostracised for being different. Despite this, he never properly tries to hide that side of him, standing up for his beliefs in face of the damning consequences (insisting in front of the court that Pusher had supernatural powers for instance).

This also resonates a lot autistic experiences: being able to put on a mask to fit in, but never properly fitting in, a fierce sense of justice and truth despite how it may be perceived. This isn't to say that Mulder is autistic but that his experiences are relatable.

Mulder is also kinda queer coded in that he is never shown to have a dating life (neither he or Scully have let's be real) outside of work, but where as Scully, has had fairly normal seemingly healthy relationships in the past (excusing Daniel), Mulder hasn't that we know of. We get to her about Scully's high-school boyfriend but we don't here about Mulder's high-school relationships. Whilst the absence isn't fool-proof evidence that he didn't have any relationships it is more likely to be perceived by the audience as so. This is much like some queer people's dating experience, where we come to sex and relationships later in life because of both social constraints and internal figuring-stuff-out. Then his past two relationships we do know of have been unhealthy, which isn't to say that all queer people start off in unhealthy relationships but that Mulder's initial relationships feel wrong much the way that some queer people in their initial relationships feel whilst they are still trying to figure stuff out.

Then there is the last straw for me which is his inability to sit still, he is always fiddling with something, throwing pencils in the ceiling, impulsively running off, or calling Scully at inconvenient times because he either misses her or has had a thought that he needs to share immediately which is very adhd of him <3

[theindiscreetbookworm]

the other day I was talking to someone about fandom tattoos and how they're often very beautiful but I don't think I'd get one

today I was looking down at my leg where I have Inigo Montoya's sword tattooed on my fucking thigh

I talk so much shit

[oh-katsuki]

it’s going to be a long time i think before i read a book that i like as much as i like heaven. i think about it so frequently... idk it just had a very profound effect on me 

[bandomfandombeyond]

I'm so embarrassed 😨

I haven't opened Tumblr anywhere but mobile in so long 😂

that I forgot my desktop theme is still Harry Potter based 🤮

I'm trying very hard to move on from that time in my life, and to prove that I've grown as a person. 🤗

thank you all for your understanding 😇

[lesbia-with-her-sparrow]

Casually writing like 8 fanfics at once because I can’t focus on one at a time lmao

[official-lucifers-child]

still thinking about the brainrot that fast fashion has caused in people, like i made this pair of pants that are black and white with a cool flowery design, and an acquaintance saw them and said "wow i'd pay like 20 dollars for you to make me a pair" and i could barely think with how utterly horrified i was at that; i told them that 20 dollars wouldn't even cover the materials, let alone the hours of work that went into cutting, sewing, ironing, hemming, altering, etc. they just had this look on their face when i told them that, when i said i wouldn't make them a pair for even 100 dollars because that was still way too low of an amount, a look that said "you're crazy for thinking that those cost 100 dollars" and maybe i am crazy but holy shit, 20 dollars for a pair of handmade, durable, lined pants fitted specifically to your measurements? 20 dollars for upwards of 60 hours of work? 20 dollars for several yards of high-quality fabric, thread, and buttons? 20 dollars???

[chase-prairie]

Loving reminder from your land history auntie:

North American golf courses have had 50-100 years of arsenic and mercury based fungicide and herbicides applied to their soils.

Do not eat anything that has been grown on a golf course or downstream from a golf course. I know it sounds cool and radical, but you are too valuable to poison yourself with heavy metals.

Protect each other, turn your local golf course into a pollinator garden, not a sex forest or community garden.

[lilislegacy]

imagine being someone at new rome university and not knowing percy is the same guy as “percy jackson, son of poseidon, two-time hero of olympus, former praetor” because the thought doesn’t even cross your mind. like… he’s percy. he’s a total frat boy. on a normal night, he walks into a party, refers to everyone as bro or dude, socializes with every living (and not-living) person in the room, makes at least 50 sarcastic comments, plays 12 rounds of beer pong, drinks way too much, and then skates around campus on his skateboard yelling “I LOVE NEW YORK” (which makes no sense, because they’re in california) until someone calls his girlfriend to come get him.

and then one day there’s an attack, and frat boy percy is all of a sudden a fighting machine. he’s yelling battle cries alongside the praetors frank zhang and hazel levesque as they lead everyone into battle. (why is he with the praetors? and why…. why in the world do the praetors seem to be following his lead?) his sword slashes through armies of monsters faster than you’ve ever seen. he’s controlling the entire river surrounding the camp, creating huge waves as tall as skyscrapers that crash down all around him, wiping out monsters and causing mass destruction to his enemies’ ranks. the sky is suddenly dark above you, ice-cold water droplets are slashing through the air, and the wind is blowing so aggressively that it’s making it hard to stand up steadily. because he’s somehow created a hurricane.

and he looks terrifying. you can feel the power radiating off of him. he’s like a god. or maybe a monster. it’s hard to tell. you’re a little scared of him, to be honest. but also in total awe, because it’s extraordinary. he’s extraordinary.

frat boy percy is not who you thought he was.

[g-gyuutaros]

Those fics where it’s like so obvious it’s incredibly self indulgent or very overtly selfship coded are my favorites I lose my mind

[maxthesillyy]

[cozylittleartblog]

"content creator" is a corporate word.

we are artists.

[oars]