#anyway i am crying ilu <3

[destage-arch]

hey kenna, friendly reminder that 1) i adore you with my whole heart and 2) your writing is so beautiful and so fun to read and i genuinely love following along with all of your threads that pop up on my dash because you are so damn talented xo

my love !!! i sort of forgot i had this but i'm not mad about it because i really needed it today. you're such a sweetheart for thinking of me and i am so blessed to have you. i know i say im crying a lot but this 100% brought some sniffles to me. you are the sweetest ever ily <3

[tvrningout-archived]

@pridewon​​ gets an unprompted starter bc it got too long to be an unprompted ask asdfg

     it’s been a rough day, the kind that makes it all too easy to pry open the death grip chiyo keeps upon her problems. he might be ready to, but atsumu doesn’t even have to prod her much; she folds like a house of cards the minute he asks what’s wrong because, you know, it’s kind of hard to explain why she’s crying over spilled tea without explaining how it’s the last straw to a very terrible day. and of course, because it’s atsumu, her traitorous heart decides why not tack on what’s actually been eating at her?? fear of vulnerability and abandonment be damned.

     chiyoko hisakawa isn’t okay, and it’s about time she’s honest about it.

     chiyo sniffles, now seated beside her broken mug with her head in her hands. she can feel a headache looming just behind her eyes ( really, this day just feels absolutely cursed ). “ what am i gonna do, tsumu? ” she murmurs. “ everything feels... ” she feels like the path she’s walking isn’t her own, like she’s moving in the wrong direction. classes are growing more difficult, and chiyo’s doing her best, but for what? a career she can’t entirely be sure she’ll enjoy? what’s the point in working so hard to become a teacher if she has no drive, no passion, if she feels so unsure of herself?

     “ i don’t wanna be a teacher, ” chiyo admits, sounding small and feeling even smaller beside her boyfriend whose path has always been clear. she envies him for that, for knowing what he wants and not being afraid to reach for it. she’s always been afraid, always kept her hands at her sides for fear of coming up short. “ i’ve made myself miserable going after something i don’t actually want, and i--- i dunno what to do. ”

[avatarkv]

A passage from Tuk-Tuk’s diary.

now playing: fourth of july, sufjan stevens. (for the feels!)

It has been 972 days since Neteyam died— or so I think. I’m not that good in counting, so I carve sticks on the walls of our house so I can remember. Sa’nok isn’t really fond of it. She says I’m dirtying the hut and forbids me to do it again. I don’t know how to tell her that it’s a way for me to remember without saying my brother’s name because if I do, sa’nok cries.

I don’t like when mama cries. and she cries all the time.

In the dead of night, when everyone is asleep and snoring, she cries. I hear her call for Eywa— but most of the time, she calls for Neteyam and I don’t know how to remind her that he isn’t here anymore. So I let her.

She cries when she makes meals and she thinks she’s alone. Ma forgets that I don’t have that many friends here at the reef yet, so I always stay close to home. I hug her tight. Sometimes, she wraps her arms around me too, but most of the time, she stares at nothing and I’m left to dry her tears myself. I think she gets embarrassed when I see her, so I lie and say I’m off to play with Kiri by the shore— but in truth, I stay behind, just in case she needs someone.

Sa’nok always makes Neteyam’s favorite and everyone always makes room for him at the table. I don’t know how to remind them that he’s not here to eat anymore, so I leave the empty plate alone.

Lo’ak cries too. He thinks he’s being sneaky when he takes too long to look for his things, but really, he just looks down because he doesn’t want anyone to see. Lo’ak doesn’t play with me anymore; he trains a lot more and he’s tougher— he’s like you now. I wonder if he’d swim with me in our Ilus again, but he always drifts off to see payakan, so I don’t think he will.

He’s more easily frustrated. Hurts himself when he misses the fish while hunting or when his Ilu is being difficult. I think he’s being too hard on himself, so I try to keep an eye on him. I don’t want to lose another brother— I promise I’ll look over him this time, great mother, just don’t take him away like you did with Neteyam.

Besides, he also has Tsireya. I think he’s in good hands.

I don’t mind that everyone cries. I cry all the time!

I hurt myself once when I was looking for shells. I scraped my elbow from the nearby rocks and it bled a little— it stung, but then I remember how Neteyam would pick me up and tell me that I was the strongest; that wounds like these wouldn’t last. He said he’d protect me as long as he’s near. Now that he’s gone, I think I have to look over myself now.

I rubbed the bleeding scratch until it became a red patch. As long as it hurt, I would hear him. As long as it hurt, I could feel my brother’s tight embrace.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who doesn’t see him. Everyone seems to carry on with their life with hints of him; Lo’ak would carry two bows (his and neteyam’s) Mama has his necklace and Kiri uses his hair beads. I wish I had something of him— but then I look around, and I see him everywhere.

His empty hammock, his favorite wooden bowl, and his songcord.

I look for you everywhere, brother, and I see you. I miss you so bad and I can’t talk about it, because if I do, everyone gets sad. Everyone misses Neteyam.

I think it will never get better. I think everyone will cry from now on.

☆ mauve here! posting something light before eventually carrying on with my series and stuff. just something to gather everyone's attention again! i fear i am flopping </3 anyway, hope everyone enjoys this mini series of tuk! i love her so much.

tags: @aonungsmate

[totesnothere04]

Unexpected Turn of Events Pt. 3

Tonowari x Fem!Reader

I do not own any fanart or screenshots used with my stories.

Warnings: Will not be 100% right with the events of ATWOW. Things are definitely not worded the same. Js.

Pt.2 here. Pt.4 here.

It had been weeks since you started being taught by Tonowari. Things had been going smoothly and you were learning in an accelerated rate. Right now you were making your way back to your marui after a day full of training. Mostly learning to ride a tsurak, because Tonowari has decided he feels that you're almost ready. He'd been giving you lessons on how to properly mount and keep hold of the beast. You had to admit that they were beautiful up close, and you were starting to feel comfortable around them. You were pulled from your reverie when you heard the horns sounding, and Tsireya rode past you on her ilu.

"Everyone our brothers and sisters have returned!" She called out and everyone started to jump into the water. You were watching with a small smile when Tonowari appeared infront of you on his tsurak.

"(Y/n) ride with me and meet my spirit brother." He said and you couldn't deny him. You had become very close to him in the time he had been teaching you. You sat behind him and wrapped your arms around his midsection. The two of you made your way to the tulkun and Tonowari got off of his tsurak to greet one. You assume it was his spirit brother from the happy interaction between them. Tonowari gestured to you and motioned for you to approach. You do so and he turns back to his spirit brother. He lets out a loud cry and Tonowari's smile is so wide it seems like he might split his face in half.

"Yes. Eywa and Ronal have blessed me." He signed to his brother who responded with another loud wail. "Yes, she is very beautiful.-" They continue to converse but the sound of a lonely song that you understood rang in your ears. You look around and find the source of the song. You go up to the surface for some air and then dive back down to the tulkun in question. She was beautiful and she had a calf with her. She seemed surprised when you swam up directly beside her and waved hello.

"Are you alright? I heard your cries from over there and wanted to make sure you were okay." You signed and she seemed to look directly into your soul.

"My sister died years ago. She promised me from the afterlife that she would send someone to take her place. But it has been a longtime." She says and you frown.

"I am sorry for your loss. Is there anyway that I may help ease your pain?" You ask her through sign and her eyes seem to widen.

"You can understand me?" She asks.

"Yes. Almost as though you were speaking directly into my mind." You tell her.

"It has been so long. Ronal has delivered on her promise. She sent me a new sister." The tulkun said and you had to remind yourself that you were underwater, therefore unable to gasp.

"What is your name?" You ask her.

"My name is Roa, and this is my calf." She said and seemed to move to a new position directly infront of you. "You are my sister. May we bond?" She asks and you nod. Unbeknownst to you, your absence next to the Olo'eyktan had gained his attention along with Jake and Neytiri's. The three had gathered and watched you interact with the tulkun with interest. Roa's mouth opened wide and you got the gist and swam forward into her mouth. Her mouth closed and you continued to float forward until a glowing part inside of her unfurled. You assume it was her queue so you pulled yours infront of you, and connected them. Both of you shared your memories with one another, and you smiled as she showed you memories with Ronal and them singing together. Every bit of your lives shared with eachother as though you were both there for everything. When the bond was done you exited her mouth at her prompt and went to the surface for air. You went back into the water and continued to speak with her.

"You were a sky person?" She asks and you deflate a bit.

"Yes, but you could see why I do not associate with them any longer. Their planet is dying, they are trying to kill this planet as well, and I refuse to be one of them." You tell her and she nuzzles the tip of her nose to you and you pet her.

"You were as beautiful then as you are now. I hope you and Olo'eyktan are happy together once you pass your iknimaya. Tonowari deserves happiness after the tragedy that befell his family with Ronal." Roa said.

"I do not want to replace a woman as mighty as Ronal. I can only hope that I can come somewhat close to who she was." You signed.

"As humble as she was I see. You will make a beautiful Tsahík when the time comes." She says and you smile softly. Her eyes shift behind you. "We have company sister." You turn to find Tonowari and your two friends.

"Roa I see you have found your new sister." Tonowari greets her.

"Yes, and isn't she beautiful!" Roa exclaims excitedly.

"What did she say (Y/n)?" Tonowari asks.

"She said, 'Yes, and isn't she beautiful!'" You translated to him and his eyes soften drastically as he looks into your eyes.

"Yes. Yes she is Roa." Tonowari signs and Roa seems to chortle with laughter of some kind.

"Smitten already Olo'eyktan." Roa seems to joke and you smile brightly at what she says.

"I am smitten with him as well Roa. He is a beautiful soul, and an amazing father and leader." You sign to her well aware that Tonowari can understand what you're saying. You look over to him and his cheeks have flushed at your words.

"Hoping for some of your own someday then?" Roa asks.

"Yes. In my human form, I was past safe childbearing age. In this form, I feel younger and safer to have children." You sign to her and she wails happily.

"We are about to travel sister. I will see you again soon." Roa says and you nod.

"I am very happy you are my sister, Roa. You have a beautiful calf, and I wish you safe travels." You sign to her and she leaves with her calf. When you surface with Tonowari, Jake, and Neytiri they all cheer. Tonowari pulls you onto the back of his tsurak and cheers loudly for everyone to turn to him.

"We have a new bond!" Tonowari announces to the clan and everyone cheers happily. He turns to you with a proud look. "You are ready." He states and your breath hitches in your throat. Jake and Neytiri show you wide smiles as they tap your sides and you blush. You spent the rest of the afternoon with Tonowari, Jake, and Neytiri and noticed something odd.

"It's been awfully quiet since the Tulkun left." You said and the others seemed to notice the foreboding silence.

"Has anyone seen the kids since the tulkun?" Jake asks and you shake your head Neytiri and Tonowari also shaking their heads. Ra'ina knocks on the side of the entrance to Tonowari's marui.

"(Y/n), my son hurt himself on the coral while he was hunting with his friends." Ra'ina said somewhat rushed and you stood quickly.

"What color was the coral?" You ask and she shakes her head.

"I don't know. I just saw the blood and that it would need stitches and came to you immediately." She admits. You turn to the others and Tonowari nods once to dismiss you.

"I understand ma (Y/n). I will let you know when the children are located." Tonowari says and you nod. You turn and follow Ra'ina back to your marui.

"We brought him here hoping you were here, but you weren't. I am sorry to disturb your day." She says and you shake your head.

"No need for apologies. Your son's health matters more than freetime." You say as you burst into your pod and go to the teenage boy. "What color was the coral you injured yourself on?"

"It was red with blue veining." The boy says weakly. You grab the box with your supplies and start grabbing what you need and applying the necessary salves and ointments. You disinfect the wound then start applying the necessary healing salves and wrap his wound in seaweed bandages.

"He will have a fever for a few days, but he will be okay. Do not allow him in the water and he should try to keep unnecessary movement to a minimum. Take this with you and he will be fine within the next few days." You told Ra'ina and she nodded with a thankful smsmile.

"Thank you Tsahík." The boy says tiredly and you shake your head.

"It's no problem child, but I am just a healer." You tell him.

"Tell that to Olo'eyktan." He jokes and then laughs at his joke only to grimace and stop.

"Maybe work your way into joking child." You tell him.

"I will carry him home." His father says and you nod.

"It will probably be best. He doesn't need to flex his muscles too much or his stitches could pop and an infection could set in. Ensure that he eats three healthy full meals a day." You tell them and they nod. His father picks him up and the family leaves back to their marui. You clean up the area and decide to go back to Tonowari's marui. Jake and Neytiri standing just outside didn't go unnoticed by you or the crowd of all of their children just inside.

"Sit." You heard Tonowari say and you entered the marui.

"Sorry I was late." You whisper to him and he offers you a hand to sit next to him. You accept and lower yourself onto your knees next to him.

"I said sit down!" Tonowari yells when he notices that Lo'ak was the only one who sat down. Tsireya looks as though she's been crying and Ao'nung looks like he's restraining himself from going and comforting her.

"Uhm... What happened in my absence?" You ask the room but instead, a pregnant silence answered you.

"My children allowed Lo'ak to bond with an outcast tulkun named Payakan." Tonowari told you and you looked at him confused. "I will explain later yawne." He whispers and you nod.

"Sir, payakan isn't a killer. He saved my life." Lo'ak spoke for the first time since you arrived.

"You will listen to me boy. Payakan is outcast for a reason. He killed many tulkun and Na'vi." Tonowari said in a harsh quiet voice only a leader could produce. A voice that Jake's children had heard many times before, and you, yourself had been on the receiving end of once.

"No. He is a good tulkun." Lo'ak argued calmly.

"That's enough." Jake said to Lo'ak but he ignored his father as usual.

"I saw everything. He wanted to put a stop to the tulkun hunters. The sky people killed those tulkun and Na'vi." Lo'ak said and Jake walked forward and squatted menacingly next to his son.

"I said that's enough." Jake whispered harshly in Lo'aks ear and you couldn't help but shiver at the threatening tone.

"In the earliest songs, the tulkun fought for territory and spread violence. They eventually came to an understanding and vowed off violence. This is the tulkun way, and because of this Payakan is outcast. He gathered those Na'vi and other tulkun, he led that attack, and he was the only one to survive." Tonowari told Lo'ak who seemed to be keeping himself from rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry sir, but you're wrong. I just know what I know." Lo'ak says and you tap Tonowari. He looks at you and you gesture to Lo'ak silently asking if you may butt in. He hesitates then nods and you both turn back to Lo'ak.

"Lo'ak what Olo'eyktan is trying to say is that their way is a way of peace and tranquility. A way that Payakan strayed from when he decided to attack the sky people. He is not saying that trying to fight the sky people is wrong. Only that it is not the way of the tulkun to fight... That is our place. To protect our brothers and sisters in their times of need." You tell him but he shakes his head and looks back at Tonowari.

"Can I be dismissed now?" Lo'ak asks calmly but with an edge and Tonowari shoos him away. You stood up and went over to Tsireya and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright Reya?" You asked her and she looked up at you with teary eyes.

"I have duties to attend." She responds then briskly leaves. You turn to Tonowari and quirk a brow.

"I will explain." He says and the two of you stand to the side of his marui and he takes a deep breath. Then he explains everything that happened and what was said and when.

"Wari... I know you were upset, but you will need to apologize for what you said to your daughter. I know she means everything to you, and it must've hurt you to say those things to her. I know that we as adults say things in anger to our children, but as adults, we must also realize that we must apologize for wrong things we said." You tell him. "It teaches them accountability. Shows them that even though we are their elders we know how to acknowledge our mistakes."

"I know, but she knows better than to allow someone to bond with an outcast tulkun. She just stood by and watched instead of interfering and stopping him." Tonowari says and you sigh.

"Ma Tonowari..." You say quietly and cup his cheek. "If there's anything I know about Lo'ak he inherited both of his parents' stubbornness. Even if she had intervened she wouldn't have been able to stop him. He would've pushed past her to do it anyways. Tsireya is a good child and doesn't deserve to be punished for Lo'aks wrongdoing." You tell him and he sighs as he nuzzles into the palm of your hand. He reaches up and grabs your hand hmwith his own and kisses your palm.

"Come. Jake and I have decided to get you to ride tsurak today. We still have plenty of daylight." Tonowari said and led you over to Jake who was waiting outside of the marui.

"Look at her Tonowari... She's pale." Jake jokes and you smack his arm. "Ow! Again with the abuse."

"In order for it to be abuse you have to be mine to abuse... And no offense to Neytiri, but I do not want to have to deal with what she deals with when it comes to you. I like my men calm and collected. Not dumb and rash." You jest with him and he mocks offense.

"I'm hurt. I thought you loved me." Jake said with fake hurt in his voice.

"Skxawng." You whispered but both men obviously heard as they both chuckled.

"Yeah well I doubt you'll beable to hold on. If I couldn't how are you going to?" Jake fired back.

"Unlike you, I've taken the time to train with an ilu to better prepare me for this moment, Sully." You said and he sighed exaggeratedly. The three of you now stood in the water for Jake and Tonowari it was waist-deep, but for you, it was chest deep. The two men had called on two others to bring over the tsurak and help hold him in place. You stared at the back of the beast trying not to laugh at how short you still were. Jake noticed and choked back a chuckle.

"Shut it skxawng. You used to be shorter than me." You said and he rolled his eyes as he looked at you.

"I was literally crippled." Jake deadpans and you chuckle then jump up onto the back of the tsurak.

"Remember (Y/n). When you dive into the water position is very important." Tonowari says seriously and you nod.

"Wish me luck." You say after you make tsaheylu and level your breathing with the tsurak. After you stabilized your bond you motioned for them to let go, and off you went. Keeping a tight grip on the handle and keeping your position correct. You finally dove under the water and kept ahold of the handle and you went back above the water. Both Tonowari and Jake joined your sides on their tsurak and Jake yips excitedly. You look at Tonowari and he smiles wide and proud then joins Jake with you following shortly after. A shadow flies over the three of you and you look up to see Neytiri she joins her mate in yodeling at your success. The four of you meet back up in the shallows and Tonowari picks you up in excitement. A decent amount of the village had gathered to watch your last rite of passage. Everyone gathered on the shore cheered happily as Tonowari turned you to face his clan.

"You are now an acknowledged adult in the eyes of the people. Now you may pick a mate." Tonowari whispers in your ear and you blush at his words.

"I already have, and I have a feeling he has picked me as well." You say bashfully and he smirks.

"And you're so sure?" Tonowari asks with a teasing tone.

"Hmm maybe he hasn't." You said with a fake pout and he chuckles and nuzzles into your neck.

"I want to do this in the traditional sense. I want to court you properly, ma (Y/n)." Tonowari says tenderly and your heart melts.

"Then who am I to stand in your way?" You ask with a soft voice and he smiles.

"Thank you. Now I believe there is a celebration for you." Tonowari says and leads you to the crowd on the beach. The moment you're on the beach you're tackled in a hug by several sets of arms. Loud yipping and cheering can be heard from the children crowding you.

"Neteyam... I can't breath." You tell the boy who has latched onto your midsection and started to squeeze as hard as he could.

"Sorry Auntie. I'm. Just proud." Neteyam says bashfully.

"It is alright Nete." You say with a faint smile as his siblings now bombard you with questions and happy chattering. Tonowari watched as you interacted with his and Jake's kids and how you treated them as your own. His mind drifted off to thinking about you interacting with the children the two of you might have in the future.

[theogony]

annotation can be reason I'm soft actually

[gresiniracing]

.

[guqin-and-flute]

[Well, apparently I'm incapable of excerpts. Here is a Modern 3zun Raise A-Fu ficlet]

[Modern 3zun tag]

3:06 Wei Wuxian: MMENG YAI

3:06 Wei Wuxian: NENF YAO

3:06 Wei Wuxian: A Y AO

3:07 Wei Wuxian: omfucking god do not leave me hanging this is VITAL

3:07 Wei Wuxian: LIFE OR DEATH

3:07 Wei Wuxian: A - Y A O

3:07 Wei Wuxian: PUCK

3:07 Wei Wuxian: UP

3:07 Wei Wuxian: YOUR

3:07 Wei Wuxian: PH ONE

3:10 Meng Yao: You can’t text me this and call me 7 times with NO VOICEMAIL and then not pick up when I call back.

3:10 Meng Yao: Pick up your phone.

3:10 Meng Yao: If you don’t answer your phone right now, I’m going to assume that whoever is holding you at gunpoint has shot you and I’m going to call the police.

3:11 Meng Yao: I’m giving you a minute.

3:13 Meng Yao: I am dead serious pick up your phone right now

3:13 Meng Yao: I’m calling Xichen.

3:13 Wei Wuxian: ahsdifjasohfjos

3:13 Wei Wuxian: SORRY I LEFT IT IN THE BATHROOM IM NOT DEAD DONT CALL THE POLICE DON’T CALL DA-GE THE HOUSE IS A MESS ID BE SO EMBRAASSED IF HE CAME IN ALL CHIVALROUS TO RESCUE ME AND SAW ME IN ALL MY F I L T H

3:13 Wei Wuxian: but it’s sweet that you care 😘 can you do me a favor?

3:13 Meng Yao: No.

3:13 Wei Wuxian: would you actually be sad if i died? like if someone murdered me? would you cry?

3:15 Wei Wuxian: don’t fucking ignore me you ass you know youd cry

3:15 Wei Wuxian: i brign light to your life

3:17 Wei Wuxian: gegeeee

3:17 Meng Yao: You aren’t saying anything coherent and I have a LIFE, I have a CHILD, I am DOING THINGS

3:17 Wei Wuxian: none of them are as important as taking a pic of a sexy costume when youre at the halloween store so i can pretend i’m buying it so i can send it to lan zhan and bother him at work

3:17 Wei Wuxian: try me. not as important. gaurantee it

3:17 Wei Wuxian: unless its like cpr or something. i’ll give you a pass for that

3:17 Wei Wuxian: ahsdiojsao

3:17 Wei Wuxian: hfaoaosjasljdjdsl

3:18 Wei Wuxian: wioaiosjdjiwoalslfvn

3:18 Wei Wuxian: m

3:18 Wei Wuxian: e

3:18 Wei Wuxian: n

3:18 Wei Wuxian: g

3:18 Wei Wuxian: y

3:19 Wei Wuxian: a

3:19 Wei Wuxian: o

3:19 Wei Wuxian: MENG YAO

3:21 Meng Yao: STOP HARASSING ME

3:21 Wei Wuxian: will you??? you said you were going there today anyway!!!

3:21 Meng Yao: Why would I do anything nice for you after that ⬆

3:21 Wei Wuxian: do it do it do it please i'll kiss your feet

3:21 Meng Yao: Incentives are supposed to be something I WANT.

3:21 Wei Wuxian: you misunderstand 😈 its a threat

3:21 Meng Yao: I need you to perish immediately

3:22 Wei Wuxian: jaiosdjiojagja PLEASE YAOYAO ILU

3:25 Meng Yao: >sent 122_p39477.jpeg

3:25 Wei Wuxian: HOLY SHIT YOU’RE THE BEST HELL YEAH SEXY NURSE

3:25 Wei Wuxian: HOW DID YOU GET THERE SO FAST???? or did you have this saved already? 😏 oooo

3:25 Meng Yao: >sent 248_p5423.jpeg

3:26 Wei Wuxian: omfg FUFU HE’S SO CUTE!!! i’m saving this. how lucky you were there alreadyy 😉 did you get the cat ears, is he gonna be a cat?

3:25 Wei Wuxian: actually can you send one where you can’t see your hand? lan zhan can tell

3:27 Meng Yao: >sent 096_p3982.jpeg

3:27 Wei Wuxian: dunno what about ‘not your hand’ meant ‘middle finger’ to you but try again, i believe in you, bb 😘

3:27 Meng Yao: >sent 298_p9231.jpeg

3:27 Meng Yao: That’s you.

3:28 Wei Wuxian: wow rude, i have FAR more charisma than a spirit halloween zombie decoration thanks

3:28 Wei Wuxian: i bet he has a flat ass. shrivelled dick.

3:29 Meng Yao: Never speak to me again.

3:29 Wei Wuxian: 😂😂😘

[daimonhalos]

Appreciation post for the eggpire and more during the red banquet cause I'm not seeing enough love for how well they organized and delivered and because I'm so proud of cc!Bad for how far the Bloodvines arc has gone ♥ (this stuff is from Bad's vod btw)

Also something to cheer people up a bit in case the lore got u hard like it got me cause I'm still not okay bestie <3

The starting soon screen being an animation (with glitches to show another frame!!) plus the jazzy electro-swing soundtrack underneath. Just such a good intro, I felt like I was actually in the waiting line for an event, just awesome.

Ponk. Just Ponk, dapper man, handsome Ponk just standing there. Gorgeous, thank you, standing ovation, I love him.

Just everything Bad and Ant did with the building of the room, the stairs!! The coat room!!! The statues right in front of the table, everything looked SO pretty.

ANT MY BELOVED LOOKING HANDSOME AS ALWAYS I just loved all their outfits. The banquet's skins just SLAPPED HARD.

The little moment where Bad changed view of his character and we could see him, Ant and Ponk cwc

Bad singing >>>>>>>>>>

Everyone getting lost despite the oak signs

THE ARC ABOVE THE DANCEFLOOR, WHAT THE HELL YOO

Bad complimenting everyone on their outfits and giving out some gapples here and there

Bad also always repeating the same catchphrases

Sam just drinking copiously and the dumpy situation

People actually dancing + HBomb being the dj

Puffy walking around Bad to see his outfit and complimenting him, just felt like their old friendship cwc

FOOLISH GAVE BAD A FLOWER <3

Bad scolding George for not wearing an outfit (Sam's "his name is Gogy and he is beautiful")

"It's almost time for the feast. It's gonna be delicious." the foreshadowing

Everyone dancing together cwc

"minecraft dancing is speed squats" eret ilu

Bad and Ant complimenting moment ♥

The eggpire all on the same side of the table. Them

Ponk's little "Hello!" after Bad said he made the soup, plus everyone going "good job!!" just twt

When Bad started asking if anyone wanted to give a toast, I realized eventually that this was more of a disguised "Want to say your last words before death?" and it now sounds s o freaking cool. ye s

P O N K 'S S P E E C H

"you look beautiful right now" sam i will cry

When in the middle of his speech, Bad turns to Ant who's already looking at him, nods, Ant nods back, and as Bad turns around again we can see Ant walking away from his seat. I am OBSESSED with this scene, like you already know something is about to go down and oh gosh it was delivered so good

THE LAVA COMING DOWN FROM THE CEILING AS BAD KEPT TALKING, NONE NOTICING, HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW THE BANQUET WILL BE UNFORGETTABLE. SO HOT

"And yeah! Thank you for coming everybody" the little mischievous giggles right after "And prepare uh ... yep. Prepare to die." AND THEN HE FUCKIGN DRINKS FROM HIS GLASS LIKE COME ON YOU CANT BE ANY COOLER THAN THAT YOOO

"The leaf is staying the way it is" you can hear the laughter in his voice like HAH GOTTEM that's so good

Bad still giving Hbomb gapples cwc

"Where you looking for this perchance?" AND THEN EQUIPS THE ENTIRE ARMOR AND WEAPONS E Y E when the twists started dude. this si where the twists started and never ended

HANNAH CROSSING SIDES AND SIDING WITH THE EGGPIRE. QUEEN SHIT that was such a cool moment for her i'm so glad she's getting her moment

The eggpire laughing, just pure villainy, love them

"Time to get on the main event" the nonchalance. The way they equipped the crossbows and readied the arrows at the same time. B r u h fucking awesome they are

The eggpire faking being afraid when Sam was talking about blowing the egg up. Sad that we already knew about the obsidian thing, but still made it a very cool scene. Especially right after when they started laughing at them again. I don't know what it is about it but I love them being so sassy.

FREAKING EXECUTIONS THEY WORKED FOR MASS EXECUTIONS they were able to trap all those freaking people!! And trick them and counter attack all the time! what the fuck, I'm so impressed

Thank you Fundy for sounding super terrified /gen ♥

Wait ahah they really said EGGSECUTION-

THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES THE EGG HATCHES im not saying IT but im saing Velvet

"Follow me! Follow me!" HANNAH SOUNDED SO ENTHUSIASTIC i love

"We trusted you!" "Well, that was your first mistake-" THE WAY BAD WAS ABOUT TO LAUGH. DUDE they definitely had so much fucking fun making this

sassyboyhalo

Foolish acting thank u ily. Also the thunder not working what the heck i wanna know what was going on inside his mind right then he sounded so lost. THE ACTING

"Sacrifice!" Hannah idk how to say this but I love you

ANT MOMENTTTT

When puffy called them selfish i was expecting bad to just do a huge double take. I wanted him to snap immediately PLEASE SNAP-

BAD DELIVERING AGAIN WITH THE AMAZING ACTING

"Not just for the egg but for what the egg is going to give us" he's so desperately trying to make them udnerstand it promised him his friend back he literally mentions it every single time but everyone calls him selfish because they think he wants power when he just wants skeppy's friendship back in this essay I will- Anyway yes I love that he never explicitly says it because it kills us viewers with pain cause we KNOW and then the reveal will be 100 times more powerful. This is so awesome

"I can't stop Quackity and you know why I can't stop. If I stop I can't get what I need." his voice grew so much lower like he's just holding back MAN I HH IT WAS SO GOOD

SECRET RETREAT ROOM YOOO

Ponk giving Bad some food and telling him to stay safe, Bad telling both Hannah and Ponk to stay safe too. My tears

And now the solo Bad lore part, where we actually see the true part of him that's absolutely devastated and makes me cry, the way he acted all confident and then saw everything crumble in a few seconds and now he's destroyed again because what if they find a way to destroy the egg what then? what if he never gets skeppy back? dude, you can just read his emotions it's so sad and i love how it was portrayed

"I know where I can go. I know who I can see!" BDI REF BDI REF FOR SURE I have a feeling that's going to be explained in the next lore stream with Skeppy and I'm so hype. I love the little crumbs of references here and there.

"But now they have it.." he sounded so broken??? bad your acting please ill cry

"I didn't really want to hurt anybody" his true self trying to get back cwc especially because he's farther away from the egg. I just love the transition between the guy Bad portrays who's so sure about the egg when it's in front of others and the doubts and anxiety he actually has when he's alone. Just so cool

"Did I screw up?" im just pointing out everything that moves me emotionally cause these people's acting is so cool

Ending the stream with simple black background my beloved

Okay but really I'm so so so proud of the ccs for making this happen and it's only going upwards, I'm literally so in awe, they really said go big or go home

Free space for Ant's villain speech I wasn't able to hear yet, but they said it was v cool, so I'm trusting people on this

Thank you for listening, stan Bloodvines arc /hj

If I made typos no I didn't

[dethberri]

just a sketch dump

so about 3 years ago, i met this wonderfully kind minat/o rper, whose muse was so endearing that they’d left an impression on me ( and ichigo, truth be told ) and left me wanting ichigo to become bffs with nardo uwu  this also engendered a genuine curiosity that i never acted on solely bc i’m a stubborn little fucker who prefers sticking to what he knows best ( b/leach ), that is until very recently..,,.,. and now it seems i’ve spiraled into nar/uto hell these past few weeks omg

( peter if u are reading this, hi ilu, and thank for you for inadvertently ruining me 3 yrs later slkjsf  you and nep/@tattebaios​ have ruined me, thANKs )

anYWAY, it’s probably weird of me to post fanart from a diff fandom here but hey, my blog + one of my sketches includes my boy so… whatever lol  this goes in order of my first tentative sketch of nar/uto while on the phone to my most recent atrocity  fingerguns

too much kubo influence.,.,,. also idk how to... draw young faces cries

nobody comment on the lack of clothing—i add clothing last okay

i rlly liked this one bc it felt like i was getting the hang of him, but then i lost the data and had to resort to a backup,.,. now it doesn’t look the same anymore so i’ve given up on this one smh 😔

that third rough sketch has now become a massive canvas that’s nowhere near done.  it’s gonna take time i don’t have to finish it.  maybe one day idk

ive binged the movies save for two, and so far, blood priso/n is my favorite, right next to lost towe/r ( almost entirely bc minat/o’s in it tbh ), and despite everyone and their mothers telling me to watch road to ninj/a, i refuse to watch it until i'm emotionally prepared bc:

[9:50 PM] solo: if i watch road to ninj/a, ill cry won't i BC MINATOOOOOO [2:53 AM] boop .: 100%

[3:56 PM] solo: im too scared to watch that one bc ill prob cry like a bitch [4:02 PM] GreenJacket: LJSJDJSJAUD [4:03 PM] solo: MINATOOOOOOOO

also, quick doodle of this dork before bed yesterday

i imagine he’d be a really fucking cool breakdancer and nobody can tell me otherwise; this is canon now bye

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

[process-pending]

i stopped commenting on individual chapters because i felt like i was repeating myself but. still read, still read twice, still dreading the end. still so in love with that! massive! undertaking! of work that you do and honestly it's been such a staple not just in my fandom experience but in my mental health processing for an actual year that it boggles my mind. i think about your au almost more than i think about canon, and have for all that time.

so like idk. thank you and also. fckn. fuck. goddamn. holy shit.

(it's gotten to a point now where you've been so good and so steadfast and punctual at releasing chapters, when the wednesday one didn't come i almost started messaging people to find out if something had happened. and then remembered that i had a brain, and used it.)

(anyway ilu, 'kay)

Oh my goodness, let me start that I am so incredibly sorry for however delayed this response is because I had no idea you'd sent me this thoughtful message.

And then here I am reading your comment over and over again and I don't have words but I have tears, do tears count because this is so sweet and kind and I just...nope, still no words.

It honestly has gotten me through the past year as well, I don't know how many days I've asked @veritasrose to escape into BatS with me because it keeps me going. And I am just floored and honored that you think about BatS so often. (And my inbox is always open if you ever need to talk <3).

You're thanking me? But I need to be thanking you! I had no idea it was going to be seventy some odd chaps when I started but you've more than stuck with it. And more than that you've gifted me with even more of your time to share your thoughts. Seriously I can't thank you enough and I'm also giggling at the string of expletives because that's all I've been thinking as I try not to fuck up this response.

(I am so sorry about going down to one week. I truly am. It was a decision I put off for so long because you all have been so amazing and I wanted to repay your dedication. But the end is nigh and part of me doesn't want it to end, is afraid of it ending, but I also want these chapters to be *right*. You deserve it and the characters do too. I desperately hope to get back to twice a week postings for the end. And I am so sorry to have induced that panic.)

(you are so freaking kind and I am still crying at this comment. Thank you <3)

[desperationandgin]

The Beat My Heart Skips (Market Price One-Shot)

Rating: General Audiences

Also Read On: Ao3

Summary: Jamie attempts to surprise his pregnant wife with the foods she craves.

A/N: From a prompt @smashing-teacups​ sent me like 8 months ago! This is also my dear BFF’s very BELATED birthday fic. ilu so much <3

I adjusted a little but I hope the spirit of the prompt lives on!

The Beat My Heart Skips

++

The texts from Claire had started at two in the afternoon while he was at Lallybroch, deep in planning the next few weekends’ worth of farmer’s market details.

Burgers for dinner? 😘

He’d replied he would pick them up from her newly-declared favorite place for burgers, and promised chips to go along with them. A half-hour later, the next message arrived.

thinking more about the pork rolls we had the other night.

He’d replied:

Instead of the burgers?

Think so. Sorry. Baby’s picky  🤷‍♀️

It made him smile, swiping to the home screen only to see the latest in his growing collection of photos featuring Claire’s belly. The bump was only clearly visible when she was unclothed, but it was there, a swelling proof of life, and he’d found he could stare, stroke, and murmur to that growing roundness for hours on end. He’d finally responded with a quick dinna fash and assumed that would be the end of it.

He was wrong. The next messages had come in rapid succession, mildly alarming until he could read them.

I think pizza would be better

Remember the burritos we had at Mazama?

Jamie, I don’t know what your child wants…

Kebabs??

Would you like to contribute an idea?

Thumb hovering over the phone, he’d tried to decide if he should pick one thing from her list, or offer something completely different. He’d decided, in the end, to go with a solid favorite.

Thai noodles, Sassenach?

The three telltale bubbles had appeared, then dropped, then appeared again before another text came through from his wife.

That sounds good too.

It was the ‘too’ that convinced him of what needed to be done.

You only need to be prepared with an appetite when I’m home. 5p. No later.

Now, he’s sitting in the passenger seat of his sister’s mini-van while Jenny drives.

“How many places is it, total?” she asks, glancing over.

Scrolling on his phone, he counts aloud. “Six. No, seven. I need more ice cream.”

“Alright, weel, we have to be strategic about it. Ice cream last, obviously. Then I’ll just drop ye back at yours and both of ye can come over tomorrow for Sunday supper. We’ll finish the plannin’ then, ye get your car, all done.”

Jamie looks over at his sister, impressed. “Thought it all out, have ye?”

“If you take a pregnant woman hot, fresh food that’s been left to steam in its containers only tae go soft and damp, she’ll throw it at yer heid. Trust me.”

He snorts. “Should I ask Ian?”

“He’ll no’ bring me soggy chips again, I’ll tell ye that much.” Jenny pats her own very round belly. “Learned wi’ the last bairn.”

Suitably impressed (and making mental notes he never knew he needed), they make a plan beginning with pizza and ending with a very quick stop inside a corner shop for two containers of Neapolitan. By 4:45, Jamie’s outside of his home, hands loaded with takeout bags. Leaning down into the open car window, he holds up his bounty.

“Thank ye, truly. I owe ye, Jen.”

She waves him off. “Ye’ll babysit soon enough.” Her face softens, though, and she meets his gaze. “Da would be proud. Mam, too.”

Lowering his head, Jamie swallows, but when he looks up again, there’s a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I always hope, but hearing it from you, especially, is important.”

“Why me?” she asks as he steps back.

“On account of ye bein’ the wee ball-buster in the family,” he teases fondly, thanking her again before watching her drive safely away. Juggling bags and keys, Jamie lets himself into the house, calling out.

“Sassenach?”

“In here,” she calls from the living room, and he ducks into the kitchen.

“Stay there, I have a surprise for ye. And dinnae try to peek, ye’re no’ verra sneaky anyway,” he says in return. As he sets everything up along their counter, buffet style, he can hear her moving about.

“I assume this surprise is in regards to food,” she deducts.

“Always kent ye should ha’ been a detective,” Jamie smirks, able to hear her huff from the other room. “I’m almost done, ye can bide a second longer.”

“One,” she says pointedly. “Your child is starving.”

“I’ve noticed ye tend to refer to the bairn only as mine when ye cannae make your mind up about something.”

Her voice is closer when she speaks. “That’s because you’re stubborn,” Claire retorts, standing directly out of sight.

“Oh, am I the only one?” he asks as he finishes by propping the pizza open. “I always thought ye were a relatively patient woman, Sassenach, until I got ye wi’ child.”

“I am bloody patient! It’s the only reason I haven’t stepped foot into the kitchen to throttle you yet.”

He can’t help but laugh silently for a moment, drawing it out a few seconds longer before finally poking his head around the corner only to come face to face with her. “Alright, a nighean. Ye can come in.” Stepping aside, he watches as she enters, taking in the sight of her realizing what she’s seeing.

“I figured we could make a good go of it, and now we have plenty for tomorrow,” Jamie explains.

Claire stares at the bounty in front of her in stunned silence before looking up at her husband. “You went to all of these places?”

“Aye. Well, me and Jen. Ian was home and she was desperate to get out of the house for a bit anyway. So she drove me around, and now you and the bairn have whatever ye’d like. Including more ice cream.”

Too moved for a moment to say anything, she simply blinks at Jamie, afraid to open her mouth because she’s sure she’ll cry.

A good thing, then, that he knows to step forward, reaching out to rest his hands at her hips. “I wanted ye to have whatever you wanted, Sassenach.”

That does it: the flood gates open (because hell if she has any control over her hormones anymore) and she finds herself cradled to his chest. “I cannot believe you,” she mumbles into his shirt affectionately, arms looping around his waist.

“I do try to keep ye guessin’,” he murmurs into her hair, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

“Do you also plan on helping me eat all of this?” She pulls back after placing a soft kiss to his chest before getting a plate and trying to decide what to attack first.

“Oh, aye, I’ll be eating plenty. I’ve been eying a burrito since we picked them up,” he promises, having no intention of letting his wife eat alone. Pointing out the different varieties as she picks and chooses, he loads a plate for himself and takes it to the living room, settling with her leaning against the arm of the sofa sideways, legs across his lap.

Bringing a forkful of noodles to her mouth, she pauses to look at him. “Thank you, Jamie. For indulging me.”

Balancing his plate with one hand, the other squeezes her calf. “I figured if ye’re going through all the trouble of making a person, Sassenach, the least I can do is feed ye what ye want.”

When she smiles, it’s as though his entire soul flares with warmth, and it’s difficult to take his eyes from her.

Which is why he sees it the instant all color drains from her face. What happens next requires zero communication as she sits up, he takes her plate, and her legs swing from his lap. Within thirty seconds, she’s in their bathroom bending over the toilet, vomiting. Wincing in sympathy, Jamie simply stares for a moment at the two plates full of uneaten supper in his hands.

Putting the dishes on the coffee table, he rises and makes his way to the bathroom to join her, reaching out to hold her hair out of her face. “I’m sorry, a nighean.” Jamie’s always very aware that he’s the one who did this to her anytime she’s miserable, and it makes him regret being quite so boastful about it.

When her stomach finally calms, he stands with her and leans against the doorframe as she rinses with the mouthwash that is now a permanent fixture on the countertop instead of tucked away in the medicine cabinet.

And then he watches as she begins to cry, confusion making his forehead furrow, wondering what this new mood swing is and how to handle it. Reaching out for her, he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her in an attempt to soothe as he rubs her back. “Dinna weep, lass,” he murmurs, more concerned as she clings to him tightly.

“Fuck, Jamie,” she manages, sniffling when she finally pulls back, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand.

“Likely no’ right now,” he tries to tease gently as he lifts a hand to stroke her cheek.

She doesn’t even react, simply chooses to ignore him and move on even as tears brim on her lashline. “I can’t eat any of that food right now.”

“I realized it soon as ye got up from the couch,” he points out, kissing her forehead.

“But you went to...Christ, how many places was it?” she asks as new guilt washes over her in an irrational wave. “And Jenny was with you,” she laments.

He doesn’t know how to fix this, exactly, and so he simply guides her by the hand to their bedroom to avoid the smell of various foods in the front of the house.

“Mo nighean donn, why would Jenny be put out? She’s been pregnant a dozen times, she kens how it goes,” Jamie points out gently.

“It was so thoughtful of you. I wanted to be able to enjoy your effort,” Claire admits as his arms encircle her.

“Ye still can when ye feel like eating. All of it will still be there, Sassenach. Doesna matter if we eat it this evening or tomorrow.”

“You aren’t annoyed?” she asks, knowing the answer but needing to hear it.

“Only at yer hormones, but no’ at you,” he promises with a kiss to her knuckles, over her wedding ring.

“Well, I’m annoyed at my hormones too,” Claire exhales, recovered now from the bout of tears but not the nausea as she lies down on the bed properly. “When your aunt called, she said being sick all the time is the sign of a boy.”

“Should ask Jen, she might have some light to shed on it, havin’ had both,” Jamie suggests as he lays propped on his side and pushes his hand under her shirt to lightly stroke her stomach.

Closing her eyes, she concentrates on the feel of his touch rather than the vertigo. “Do you want to find out what we’re having, or let it be a surprise?”

His fingers still for a moment before continuing as he ponders her question. “I never considered it. Does it matter to ye, for decorating and buying things?”

“Not particularly. There aren’t very many things that can truly be left a surprise in life.” She can’t help smiling at the idea of it, of not knowing until their child is in their arms.

The look on her face makes it clear her mind is set, and Jamie drops a kiss to her abdomen. “We’ll leave it a mystery then, Sassenach.”

“We’ll have to pick a name for either scenario,” she points out, taking deep breaths in and exhaling slowly as she wills away her symptoms. When Jamie doesn’t respond right away, she cracks one eye open only to find him lost in thought. A hand lands in his hair, gently scratching his scalp. “Where’d you go?”

He makes a soft noise in the back of his throat. “I’m here,” he promises with another kiss. “I was only thinking...if it’d be alright wi’ ye...we could name the bairn after my da.” When he chances a glance up at her, his eyes are suspiciously damp.

If ever there is a key to getting her nausea to dissipate, it’s the sight of her husband’s vulnerability. Her hand shifts from his hair down his face to cradle his cheek. “Brian,” she murmurs, nodding her agreement. “And if it’s a girl?”

He’s quiet, ghosting his lips across her skin now, trying to will her hormones to settle for a while.

“Hmm. Weel, there’s always, simply, Brianna,” Jamie suggests.

Claire tries it on her tongue, adding a second name. “Brianna Ellen Fraser. Or Brian Henry Fraser. What do you think?”

Scooting up on the bed now, he pulls his wife close, needing to kiss her ring again, to say a silent prayer for the love of this woman. “That ye’d honor my parents that way, Claire-” It makes him more emotional than he would have ever imagined, the way his wife’s heart shows itself.

“I thought, since we’re having - what was it, ten by your last count? - since we’re having ten children, the second could be named after my parents,” she suggests, knowing it will happen now that she’s said it.

“It’ll no’ be ten if ye feel like this every time,” he says with equal parts concern and frustration that his wife simply can’t eat when she’d like.

“Jamie,” she murmurs, gliding her thumb across his jaw. “This amount of illness is normal. And it’s getting somewhat better. Today was unfortunate,” she allows, a hint of apology in her tone.

“Dinna fash, Sassenach,” he assures her as he sits up, leaning down to drop a kiss to her forehead before finally standing. “Now we have plenty for breakfast and lunch. If ye dinna mind noodles before ten in the morning.”

She chuckles, the waves of nausea somewhat less turbulent. “If my stomach can manage, then so will I.” But she already knows the noodles will never make it to morning. She’ll be awake at three in the morning, eating when her hunger finally kicks in.

“I’ll go and put everything away, then we’ll see if ye’ll do wi’ a bit of light reading,” he offers. He’ll also quickly eat while he isn’t in front of her.

“Reading in bed?”

“Aye, I’ll no’ make ye move,” he promises, reaching out to cradle her cheek before stepping back.

“Then you’ll know where to find me when you return,” she says lightly with a small, fond smile.

“Which is exactly where I want ye to be, incidentally.”

She chuckles, waving playfully at him to go. “I’m looking forward to reading your next pick.”

Before he can make it out of the room, she calls him back.

“Aye?”

She takes a moment to look him over, still in his jeans and button-down from the day, curls askew and his scruff just past its normal length.

“I’m very madly in love with you, you know.”

When he smiles he ducks his head, and the way his ears turn bright red makes her want to laugh in sheer delight of him.

“That’s verra good, Sassenach. On account of I happen to be mad wi’ love for ye myself.”

“You’d better go, before you say something very Jamie Fraser and make me cry,” she warns with a more playful smile at the end.

He can’t help doubling back, this time to kiss the soft round apple of Claire’s cheek before nuzzling it with the tip of his nose.

“I’ll bring ye back a ginger ale.”

When he finally leaves her to rest, Jamie puts everything away in record time - except for the noodles. He places them in a separate container and sets it in the fridge with a sticky note on top.

For the bairn xx

[lovedcult]

happy birthday to the bestie @summerlost​​ 💗💭 !!!!!!!!!!!!!  jia. 🙈 what a crazy year it's been. all these memories we've made together. girl you crazy 😫but im not even about to put all that on tumblr 😂. congrats on another trip around the sun, im so proud of you ❤ love u girlie see u at the club LMFAOO😂❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉 

( jk ur real bday message is under the read more ilu HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABEY )

literally me preparing this message just hours before ur birthday but i was determined to have it ready by the time it hit midnight for u so HERE I AM HELLO 🤍 going to try and make this letter heartfelt and cute because we never say things like this to each other but u really have become such an important person in my life in such a short time u just mean very much to me and i really do want you to know just wonderful and special u are to me !! we have only known each other ?? like 5 months ? is that right ? girl idk but within those 5 months we have managed to talk to each other like every single day except maybe 2 days isn’t that so crazy ? so i want to thank u for always keeping me company and crying over txt with me and just being such a warm source of happiness in my life, it really has been so wonderful to get to know you and to be ur friend 🤍 

going to list some things that you’ve done for me that maybe you don’t know you’ve done for me but you deserve to know .. i know i said i was gonna get mushy here but good ness .. anyway it’s so nice to wake up to messages from u everyday and to go to sleep after talking to u all day and knowing that i will have a friend whenever i need it like fr i don’t know how we do it because i am usually so bad at communication rip ..... it has just always felt so easy to talk to you and we clicked right away and there was never a moment of awkwardness like there can be when first meeting someone which thank god .  i’m more comfy with u than i have been with some friends i’ve known for 5+ years and i think that says a lot about our friendship as well as you as a person. we talk literally all the time and it just makes me so happy, i look forward to talking to u every day 💗 whether its about our ships or personal lives or random shite or my godson pumpkin it never matters to me, i am just so happy you are here and that i get to know you

did you know i like never listened to taylor swift before meeting u ? apart from that one time i saw her live in concert when i was like 12 but i don’t even remember that NSNSNSN but i’ll have you know the songs you’ve showed me are special to me now and i enjoy listening to them and she will now forever remind me of u! i have a tendency to try to get into things and like what my friends like so just know whenever you show me stuff i will file it in the heart shaped jia folder in my brain and keep it there forever. literally no matter what it is. tht goes for pacrim too that was so random but i became obsessed with it right after u showed it to me and i’ve actually watched it twice more after we watched it together <3 speaking of, i hope we can have more movie nights together or just cute lil kosmi dates in general because they are so fun and we have a watchlist piling up already so we should crack that open when we can … whenever ur nawt busy being a doctor or whatever

reminds me; do u remember that time i panicked because i ate burnt chicken nuggets and u told me i was gonna get c*ncer ? girl fun times NMDCNBJSAKFJSFJSDV just so you know i WILL be directing any of my future health concerns to u because i might just break otherwise bc i don’t know how to survive and we don’t want that i don’t think so glad i have a smart sexy big brain friend like u in my life

i hope you have a wonderful wonderful wonderful day today which you just might because it’s also txt comeback today ( u fuckin lucky bitch i cant believe they are obsessed with u ) you deserve it so much !! you work so hard all of the time and i know school can be stressful as well as life but i really am so proud of u because u are doing great things and it will all pay off. u are never alone through any of it either so when it gets too hard u will always have me beside u !!! promise !!!! i love u lots !!!!! even tho ur a gemini !!!! but ur my gemini !!!!!!!

also want to mention how just WONDERFUL it has been writing with u omg ??? we have 11 official plots going on rn as well as a bunch of unofficial ones and it has just been the loveliest experience getting to write and ship with u with every single one of them and it’s just been so fun. u are such a talented writer and u put so much effort and thought into all of ur muses which i immensely applaud u for. you should know this already though considering i am vocally in love with all of them ( when jungjae finally d words i will be coming to sweep up sooyeon i really dont care what u have to say its out of ur hands ? let it go ) … jia best rp partner .. i’ve never had a writing partner that gets so involved with our plots the way you do with me and shows the interest that you do and it means so very much to me, i feel very lucky and im forever thankful u messaged me the day u did and introduced urself because i am a scared bitch and probably would have just admired u from afar on the dash instead <3 i hope we can have 327234 more plots and ships in the future because u have managed to make each of them so special. 

i feel like this letter is so all over the place but am i gonna go back in and make it prettier ? naur because im a mess writing it so ur getting the full heidy emotional love spill experience .. this is the first bday im spending with u so i had to write u this & let u know just how much u mean to me . literally thinking abt u all the time and am always hoping u are happy and having good days on the other side of the world <3 ur just that wonderful. thank u for being my friend beyond the rpc and i hope the future can bring us even closer together !!!! i love u so much stinky ( with affection ) stay sexy ......... <33333

us btw

[sevdrag]

dreamwidth update: isolation

(content warnings: i just talk about the shit that's going on rn cause i gotta, but if any of it is triggering for you, be careful or scroll past)

so, as it turns out - as anyone could have predicted - i'm behind AF on nano.

look, a lot of it is that the first week of november got tied up in the hellhole that was america's election. fuck. i had done a lot of research and i knew what to expect and i STILL DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. that entire week was draining as fuck and even the relief of them finally calling it for biden was destructive and devastating in its own way. (i cried. i dont ever cry. i fucking bawled.)

and some of it is another lesson in preparation. i have a great outline for this novel! i know all the plot beats for all three plotlines! but i didn't practice getting into either character's voice, so while im still writing, it's very third-person-onmicient type, very distant, rather than the third-person-intimate that im going for.

and ive become STUPIDLY hung up on that! LIKE, ITS STOPPING ME FROM WRITING. i realize i just need to forge ahead and i'll find their voices eventually, but like, brain matter no go. head empty no thots.

SURPRISINGLY, though, if i count all words i've written (including nano, patreon, work words, fanfic, etc) i am on pace to hit the 50K. guess what I might be doing, rather than focusing entirely on the nano words. fml. etc.

my two oldest nieces are coming this weekend for their birthday celebration. when they were young i decided that instead of birthday gifts, what each girl got was a weekend alone, just with me, where we would do super fun things and they get to have all of the focused attention from their aunt and uncle. it's worked great, but this year, because of the rona, their schedules are all fucked up (you would not BELIEVE what my bro and SIL have had to work out to manage both of their jobs with 3 children under the age of 7 at home; it's crazy), and we wanted to limit the travel as well. so both girls are coming together to stay with me, to celebrate together. i'm very excited, but wow, that's also been a whirlwind.

i had to clean the entire house. the thing is, when you've been in house since march, and you're already disabled, and you're depressed, and you're tired, and you have 5 cats, the house can quickly get to a pint where you really give no more fucks about it. hugely. bigly. i had to summon my mum, Crown, and murder husband to help me out with it, but now the house is gorgeously clean and i am happy. doing all the work at once was kind of a sledgehammer to the face tho, RIP me, but i did it.

fought with Crown over a bunch of stuff too. it's resolved and we are in a better place after having it out, but that also hit me like a fucking pickup truck, thanks.

also didnt help nano.

isolation is weird. i dont mind being alone - i love being stuck in my house alone, that's like, my dream world - but i feel like i've hunkered down here in other ways as well. friends i used to talk to daily, i check in like once a week. a BIG part of that is, well, having nothing to really say. my new contract remains in covid limbo, my other work continues, and my desire to write a novel to sell is just aksjdlkasdjggs, so like, ??? why bother to talk, there's no news here, etc.

im also just not very good at staying in touch because of (reasons) and the situation is compounding that and really doubling down on it. how can i reach out to people when im spending most of my mental energy not going completely batshit??? "hey demons. it's me. your boy."

i mean i also feel like other friends are pulling back as well, probably because none of us really have anything new to say. it's just an interesting side effect of isolation, i guess?

plus it's the jazz hands depressssiioooonnnnn ~! for all of us!

i really just exist on discord these days. honestly.

ANYWAY.

i haven't yet given up on the novel, nor have i given up on trying to grow my kofi and patreon to help me out in these terrible times. (crankyoldman, thanks so much for the Kofi! that covers this month's entire Chewy order! <3 <3 aaaaaaa ILU and i miss you guys!!) it's just such a bizarre fucking time to be a conscious thinking creature and that's weird, i guess.

went to target and bought a bunch of men's shirts for the winter. sorry but for what i want men's clothes are vastly superior. you can't get a women's t-shirt that's long enough to go over hips or really be tucked in unless you find a "tunic length" and they're like $25. i got 3 mens tees for $18. i also now have a giant hoodie with thumbholes. bless.

plus big ass sports bras. i just want my tits to be comfortable. dont always bra them, but like when im cleaning they gotta be held. gently. softly cupped in place so that they don't get tossed around too much. i dont know where im going with this.

i just want to be comfortable here in my private cave.

the stasis of isolation. such an odd year it's been this last month.

Ko-fi for the cats || Patreon for CYOA and the novel || Sev's Pub, my creative works discord || carrd for the rest

comments Comment? https://ift.tt/3ngoxji

[seekingthestars]

sarah watches the untamed: liveblogging adventures, part thirty the untamed boys

(aka: oh ho ho you thought we were done, did you? [she did too.])

uhhhh. yeah. oops? no one will care about these but i.love.them. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the untamed boys, ep 1:

ji li complaining about waiting forever lol

and cyc complaining about being hungry bc he had to wait so long for ji li XD

fanxing is like…not even paying attention, he’s just playing on his phone HAHAHA

ji li “how about THIS i’ll cut yu bin’s hair doing a handstand, i want to cut his yellow hair” he is truly chaos

yu bin and fanxing just lounging all over each other is adorable, i love this uncle and nephew

bowen LOL “bring it on, who cares.”

“Stop talking about me!” /ZOOMS AWAY — WHY IS FANXING SO CUTE I ADORE THIS MARSHMALLOW

fanxing pouting and clinging onto yu bin and yu bin just letting him and hugging him back, fanxing is a koala and stupidly adorable

ji li sliiiiiiding around XDD

“This is our cultivation process” JI LI ILU

jiyang’s FACE when he says he’s lost a lot of hair already fjeaoiwfjw

[ it’s time for Ji Li’s nonsense ] OH GOOD :D :D :D

“can you control your child please?!” NO BOWEN, NO ONE CAN CONTAN JI LI

JIYANG IS SO CUTE IN THE RECORDING STUDIO ;n;

jiyang in this pink and white striped sweater is Peak Softness

the choreographer being grumpy at fanxing makes me ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; yu bin going to pat him makes me ;u;

zfx saying he wanted to give up and pull out so he would stop dragging the rest down makes me ;AAAA;

when fanxing goes “i forgot my actions just now” and puts his hands to his head it is VERY cute but also i just wanna wrap him up in fifteen blankets and tuck him in bed and give him his preferred bedtime drink and tell him he’s doing amazing TINY BABY ;;

AWWWW they got a Halloween cake!!

you’re ALL doing great my lil beans, i proud of youuuu

the untamed boys, episode 2:

dammit all, xiao zhan is so pretty

GOD SONG JIYANG IS SO CUTE UGH

cyc with his hair all pinned up out of his face so he can get his makeup done is freaking adorable

zheng fanxing is so small and cute i will protect this bean

i appreciate that ji li’s jacket says “Maniac” on the back bc.....yeah. i know it’s part of the brand, but STILL. appropriate. such a good boy though, saying he wants to walk around and put everyone in good spirits for the show

fanxing eating his banana CUTIE

i love xiao zhan’s little hat omg

wyb “I don’t think you have ever beaten me before” LOL SASSY

BOWEN BREAKING THE LITTLE TOY CAR THING AND THEN JUST GIVING UP HAHAHA

xz talking about how hard his solo song is to sing but he does such a great job of it, i love his solo song ;~~~~;

good god yu bin saying they rehearsed for 13 hours and slept for like 1-2, how the heck were any of them alive enough to do the show dang

POOR LITTLE FANXING LOOKING SO LOST AND CONFUSED XD

ji li in the audience cute cute

yibo 😭❤️

jiyang’s fan dance!!!! i love jiyang’s fan dance!!!!

FANXING T______T he’s crying so much he’s shaking omg baby omg now i’m gonna cry ;;;;;;;;;;

cyc is so pretty ugh

god every time fanxing cries i just want to wrap him up in a million blankets and rub his back until he feels better

them all saying goodbye to their characters is so EMOTIONAL, and they’re all emotional and xz’s voice cracked and i lost it ;AAAAAAA;

xz and wyb closing it out, my heart ;~~~~~~;

the untamed boys, episode 3: I’m so freaking excited about this chaos oh my god

THE LITTLE FOX PIN THING ON ZANJIN’S SWEATER. CUUUUUTE. also i like that sweater, do want

they get in the van and ji li IMMEDIATELY starting his chaos by yelling at zanjin omg i am living

them pretending to see Disney omg they’re all so dumb

they look so COOOOLD little penguins

fanxing shielding zanjin’s eyes from the sun like the sweet little bb he is

yu bin with his famous poem he’s such a DORK

fanxing time! “i think the boxes are where our staff is” LOL big brain energy from the small boy

ji li and zzj together!

DUMB AND DUMBER BROTHERS “We 2 are crazy” AT LEAST YOU ADMIT IT HAHAHAHA

FINALLY!!!!!! THE LINE!!!!!! “I DON’T FEEL LIKE USING MY BRAIN OUT HERE TODAY!” ZANJIN, IT IS ICONIC

Bowen’s little baby hop to reach the box fjewiaofawe he’s so TALL

“Why!!!!” omg he’s found two and can’t get anything open XDDD

YU BIN’S CACKLE WHEN HE FOUND THE BOX HAHAHAHA and he got it open! such an easy question, he’s so pleased hahaha

“Wow this game really makes people confused” poor Bowen with the empty brain XD “WHAT.” “HOW MANY CHICKENS DID HE STEAL.” i’m dying HAHAHAHA

fanxing found a box!! so smart, this one, he has much knowledge

JI LI AND ZZJ TRYING TO CLIMB THE POLE OMG DUMB DUMB DUMB

oh my god cyc and he peng tormenting ji li and zanjin is hysterical, they’re so chaotic

YU BIN’S DUMBASS LAUGHTER FJEIOWFJWE

ji li changing what was in the box L O L and STUFFING THE CLUE IN HIS SHOE L O L

bowen is so sweet “i need to hurry up and find a box for fanxing!!!!!” but fanXING ALREADY HAS ONE XD

oh nooo zanjin found a box but it’s the one fanxing already opened XDD

CYC’S DUMB LAUGH OMG

FANXING’S VOICE IS SO SOFT every time he speaks i’m just like FJEWIOF WAIT

he is a BABY

calling fanxing “little a-yuan” look i am weak and i am soft

i love how so far everyone’s been eliminated for just attacking the wrong person lol their web of lies and deception is so deep

why is yu bin stroking bowen’s face lol

omg it’s yu bin’s gross marshmallow time

did they just stick entire unpeeled bananas on the grill 

ji li singing XDDD

yu bin using the eggplant as a mic for bowen XD

cute bunch of boys c:

the untamed boys, episode 4:

(How drop-dead gorgeous they are!) -- Correct caption is very correct

ALL HUDDLED TOGETHER LIKE LITTLE PENGUINS AGAIN :D

“Can we have something to eat inside?” “Or anything to drink~?” PLS JIYANG AND FANXING TOO CUTE

LOL THIS FACE JIYANG

JI LI’S “NO~”

cyc: “HE LIKES SLEEPING NAKED” fanxing: slowly covers ears  XDDDDD

yu bin’s guess of “he talks with a doll before going to sleep” omg i’m dying

jiyang’s like “when did i act cute” and then poUTS AT THE CAMERA fjewioafjawe

them guessing all of jiyang’s before he can even pick a person LOLOL

ji li going “yu bin sent me a message once and i replied 14 days later” LOL I RELATE i have legit done that, not on purpose, i just forget, i’m really bad at forgetting to reply if i don’t see the message/notification constantly, i have goldfish memory

ji li “I quit, I don’t wanna compliment him anymore” XDDDD

fanxing is so small and cute pls he’s like four someone get him a juice box

jiyang, bowen, yu bin VS fanxing, ji li, yuchen!

YUCHEN DANG but also fanxing going “OHHH!!!” and clapping and hopping along in excitement jfeiowafw

fanxing with the big paw gloves omg

yuchen is so good at this

ji li: “it hurts!!” fanxing: runs up to him and cups ji li’s cheeks in his giant paw gloves all concerned SO. CUTE.

them all being dumb and dancing around during halftime fjeiowaf

fanxing sneaking a snack in XD

fanxing trying to grab the ball and just falling over with it PLS SOMEONE PROTECT HIM HE IS SO SMALL

cyc and ji li are both surprisingly good at this, esp. cyc

and then he whacked ji li in the face feioawjfawe POOR JI LI

yu bin’s hat falls off “THIS IS MY LIFE WHICH CAN’T BE LOST” XD

the untamed boys, episode 5: dinner party time! /chants WZC WZC WZC :D :D :D

WZC WZC!!!!!! “I’m just hungry” LOL

AND GUO CHENG!! :D

nom nom eat up hungry boys!!

ohhhh everyone got hidden tasks oh fun!

yu bin just singing omg fjiewoafjwaeo; XDD

everyone in this cast in their own brand of chaotic, it’s so great 

the interview part with cyc in that suit and those glasses HEART EYES

jiyang’s drawing is cute!

wzc about yu bin: “he’s the fish who loves singing in my heart!” XDDD

yu bin’s scribbles of ji li BLESS IT “I usually don’t get what he means, just like this drawing that’s not understandable.”

“what about the lost arm????” “HE DID LOSE IT AT THE END!!!!!!” ilovejili

omg they’re gonna be baristas omg so CUTE, the coffee shop AU of everyone’s dreams thank you 🙏

ji li’s face when he tries the drink HE made XDDD and fanxing consistently refusing to try it XD

fanxing and yu bin duo is the CUTEST and fanxing’s constant little pouty faces when they can’t get anyone to agree to coffee jfieowajfawe

ji li and yi zhou are doing no better XDD 

bowen seeing the puppy and immediately stopping what he’s doing to run after it screaming “OHHHH!!!!!” is such a mood

bowen is so chaotic, chasing puppies, screaming at people in boats XD

fanxing chasing down the foreigner omg lol

they made such a mess of the cup lol but they’re so CUTE i would forgive them if they were my baristas

nie bros got a customer!

“I’m the wiiiiiinner, sorry!” JI LI THAT WAS STUPIDLY CUTE SHUT UP

“What winner, you’re the waiter.” LOLOLOL YU BIN

BOWEN GIVING HIS COAT TO THE GUY HAHAHA

literally the coffee shop of my dreams, pls, all the cute waiters

yu bin just swooping over and shoving ji li out of the way to talk to the lady XDD

fanxing talking to the lady washing dishes and about his mom and all the part time jobs he had and he is such a soft sweet little bean

and we did it! that’s a wrap on The Untamed Boys! (er, the show anyway lol) that was fun, I enjoyed myself and laughed a lot bc they’re dumb and adorable :’)