#anyway i feel like my presence on my own blog (MY OWN HOUSE!!!) has just gradually receeded more and more the past few months

[welcometogrouchland]

Are we journaling for our mental health? To stretch our personal writing muscles? or for a secret third thing??? (brain exorcism)

[daechwitatamic]

Of Ruin || KTH {Teaser}

Title: Of Ruin

WC: tbd - I'm gonna ballpark it around 60k and it will be chaptered Rating: NSFW - minors DNI, I am very serious about this Pairing: KTH x reader {vamp!tae x human!reader, ft human!namjoon and vamp!jimin because it's always v(amp)min hours at daechwitatamic dot com!!}

Genre: supernatural!au with presence of magic, witches, and vampires || s2l || a splash of (somehow) both fake-dating and arranged-marriage || angst fluff smut trifecta 

Summary: Taehyung of House Rune, Prince of Infracticus has been cursed. You’re the human world’s leading curse-breaker. It should be simple. But unraveling the curse becomes the least of your problems in the face of Infracti civil war - and the love you start to feel for the prince.

Warnings: uhhh okay so I mean vampire murder/human hunting and feeding?, blood and i guess gore?, language, recreational/casual drinking, more to come as I write the rest

Author’s Note: Firstly! Although the worlds, rules, characterizations, and plot are very extremely different, I have to say that I was inspired to write this after reading @kth1fics Black Ravens series. Thank you to Maggie for being so gracious when I asked if she’d be okay with me trying a vamp!tae fic of my own.

I'll be upfront here and say that I do not know when this will be done or when it will start posting because, as you know if you've been around my blog for a while, I write to completion before I make a posting schedule. But I hit 20k today and that made me very excited and I just kind of wanted to share the excitement with you all!

Anyway - here's a teaser!

“Farrah,” Maggie called, the hairs on her arms starting to stand. She’d only been a bit ahead of them, but somehow Maggie was having a hard time seeing her friend. Econ Guy put his arm around Maggie’s shoulders protectively, glancing around them.

“What in the fuck?” he muttered, and then two things happened so quickly that to Maggie’s human eyes it seemed to be at once: a bit of darkness moved much too fast just in front of her, and Farrah’s body slumped to the ground.

“Farrah!” Maggie screamed, her breath caught in her throat. She started towards her friend’s motionless body, but she was tugged back. Econ Guy was pointing at Farrah’s body, his mouth moving like he was trying to make a word, but couldn’t. Maggie looked again, closer. 

The darkness that had moved was bent over Farrah’s body, obscuring their view of her shoulder and face. Maggie’s heart beat so hard in her chest that it hurt, and a tingling she associated with panic started in her fingertips as her body pleaded with her to run.

“What is it?” Maggie whispered in horror. Beside her, Econ Guy made a choked sound and took a step backwards, his arm falling away from her, all pretenses of toughness vanishing. 

At the sound of her hushed question, it looked at them, the motion sharp and jerky. Then, it clambered up, staggering towards them, and Maggie could see it - him - for the first time.

He was undeniably beautiful - or would have been, if it weren’t for the blood running in rivulets from his mouth down to his chin, if not for the inhuman growls and snarls that rippled from his chest like the start of an antique lawnmower, if not for the way his eyes were glossy black, no whites at all.

“An Infracti,” Maggie said hollowly. 

Beside her, Econ Guy found his voice again. “Hey,” he said sternly. “You can’t hunt here. It’s against the law.”

The Infracti stalked closer, unblinking, then stopped a few feet before them. Maggie’s entire body shook and she dropped to the ground, her legs too weak to hold her up - let alone to run. 

Not that she could outrun an Infracti. 

The beast looked at them evenly, then stuck out its tongue and languidly - as if putting on a show - licked its lips, sucking a few more drops of Farrah’s blood into its mouth. Maggie didn’t see him move, but suddenly Econ Guy was screaming, arms flailing as he tried and failed to remove the Infracti from his body. The Infracti’s long fingers gripped his upper arms, face buried in the crook of his neck. 

The scream fizzled to a sob. The Infracti opened his hands - fingers splayed purposefully as he emptied them - and his victim’s body hit the pavement. The sound - a round, weighty thud - echoed through Maggie’s head as the Infracti turned to face her. His all-black eyes seemed calculating, in their own way. Still on the ground, Maggie was almost face to face with Econ Guy’s corpse. His eyes were still wide and frightened, though unseeing. 

The Infracti stepped closer to her, gently, carefully, and then he crouched down, swirling black eyes meeting hers. The growls subsided, and Maggie thought wildly that he looked almost thoughtful. Her heart wasn’t beating anymore as much as vibrating. Her breaths were so shallow they barely counted, and the night swam around her. 

When Maggie was seven, her grandmother was mugged while they were walking together. In the moment, her grandmother had tossed her purse into the street, and grabbed Maggie’s hand to run when the thief lunged for the bag. When Maggie asked about it later, in that way that kids do, her grandmother had explained to her, “He wasn’t interested in you or me. He was interested in my money. I gave him what he wanted, so he left me alone.”

Now, eye to eye with a monster straight out of her nightmares, Maggie saw her grandmother’s face, heard her sweet voice. I gave him what he wanted, so he left me alone. Tentatively, she held out her wrist, veins up. The beast moved like liquid again, a shifting of darkness, until he was closer to her, her wrist clutched tight in his cool grasp. Then, gently, as if he were a gentleman kissing the back of her hand in greeting, he brought her wrist to his lips and let his teeth pierce the flesh.

–

Your phone rings in your pocket as you sit on the Express bus across town, and you shift in your seat until you can slide it free. Your boss’s name floats across the top of the screen and you answer it quickly. 

“Are you on campus yet?” he asks in lieu of hello. Dr. Kim is nearing seventy, but he’s the leading curse-breaker on the eastern coast and you find it unlikely that he’ll slow down anytime soon.

“Ten minutes out,” you report. “I’m on the bus.”

“Come directly to my office,” he requests, but you can hear the urgency dancing in his tone. You know what this means: he’s been contacted about a curse. 

It’s somehow chillier when the bus drops you on campus, cloud cover removing the warmth of the sun as you hustle down one of the paved walkways towards the academic buildings, dodging students standing in groups talking, others riding bicycles and the rare electric scooter. 

You hurry into the building that houses most of the staff offices, bypassing the corridors the students frequent and taking the narrow back staircase that leads to Dr. Kim’s office.

He’s waiting for you, door open, a spread of papers on his desk. 

You greet him with a smile, dropping your heavy bag by his door as you have hundreds of times in your professional history. Dr. Kim was one of your first undergrad professors, years ago, and you’ve worked closely with him in all the years since: first, as a TA for his tougher classes, then co-teaching when the university took you on, and finally joining his team of curse-breakers, rapidly bypassing several team members who had more seniority but less knack. 

“We got a call?” you guess, drawing closer to the papers and peering at them for clues. That’s when you notice the young man already seated in one of the two chairs across from Dr. Kim’s desk. Embarrassed, you hurry to nod hello to him, murmuring an apology.

“We did,” Dr. Kim allows with a tight little nod. “It’s… a bit unorthodox, though. I’d like you to consider the situation carefully.”

You feel yourself frown. “What is it?”

“Perhaps you should sit,” Dr. Kim suggests, holding a hand towards the empty chair opposite his desk. 

This isn’t how these meetings go. You’ve done this a dozen times or more - usually as soon as Dr. Kim can see your face he starts chattering excitedly about the details: who’s been cursed, what the effects are, the specifics of the location, the bits of travel itinerary he’s already worked out. 

You sit hesitantly, hands gripping the arms of the chair nervously. You try hard not to glance sideways at the man you don’t know. 

“Well?” you ask gently, when Dr. Kim still doesn’t speak.

“This is Namjoon,” Dr. Kim says, belatedly realizing he hadn’t introduced you. “His degrees all focus on curses. A comparable background to yours, academically.”

“That’s not true,” Namjoon says, holding up a hand. “I didn’t study Infracticus. My magical knowledge is focused solely on curses and curse-breaking.”

Dr. Kim makes a noncommittal noise. To you, he says, “I personally asked Namjoon to make the trip and hear the request. I think he’ll be invaluable in picking this one apart.”

“Okay,” you agree easily. You trust Dr. Kim with your life - literally - and if he thinks someone will be an asset to the team, you’d never argue with that. You turn sideways just a bit and murmur an it’s nice to meet you before turning your attention back to your (normally) fearless leader. “So what are we in for?”

He sighs and runs a hand down his face, almost as if he’s unsure if he should tell you or not. “You need to know right from the start how very dangerous this could be,” he says, looking back and forth between the two of you, his voice more grave than you’ve ever heard it. 

“Because of the magic involved?” you ask. Curse-breaking is always dangerous, that’s the very nature of it. You always run the risk of making a fatal mistake; you could turn the curse back on yourself, or strengthen it, or simply end up creating side-effects you hadn’t intended. He’s never given you this warning before.

He shakes his head. “Not necessarily. Not more so than any other. It’s… well, my dear, it will involve a stay in Infracticus.”

You’re shocked into silence. You can’t help but meet Namjoon’s eyes, sideways, and find him looking just as surprised as you.

You utter, quietly, “What?” even though you heard and understood him perfectly well. It’s more than you need help processing, facing the reality of the words. “An Infracti has been cursed?”

He shakes his head, though the answer isn’t no. “Not just any Infracti,” he corrects. “The Prince of Ruin.”

Your jaw literally drops. “Someone cursed the crown prince?” you gasp in disbelief. “Who would dare?”

“The Scorns, I imagine,” Namjoon murmurs, almost to himself.

Dr. Kim gives you two a wan smile. “Luckily, we aren’t tasked with solving that. Just finding and casting the counter-curse.”

You sit back in your chair in a daze, blinking slowly, cogs in your mind whirring fast. “Okay,” you say finally. “We’d be protected, though, right? They’re inviting the team, so we’d be protected, as guests?”

“Certainly an effort will be made, but there's never a guarantee. This is why I said you need to consider carefully,” Dr. Kim insists. “There is much at stake. You’re in danger every moment you’re down there, even with the promised protection. I expect that the curse itself must be quite complicated, or they’d have solved it themselves.”

“Not to mention,” Namjoon says suddenly, his tone serious, “we may be visiting during a time of… political unrest. If they suspect the Scorns… we may be walking into the start of Infracti civil war.”

“Will it be that bad?” you ask, frowning, pulse quickening. 

Namjoon shrugs. “Hopefully not. But the situation will certainly be volatile. The Ruins and the Scorns would each love a reason to point the finger at the other. If we do happen across the cause of the curse as we try to break it… it’s likely there will be political ramifications.”

“God,” you mutter. 

“As I said,” Dr. Kim repeats. “I won’t accept an answer today. I want you both to sleep on it. Discuss with your families. Talk to me tomorrow about how you’re feeling.”

He dismisses you then, shepherding you both towards his door, leaving it open now that you’re done discussing the equivalent of vampire state secrets. 

Halfway down the stairs, Namjoon calls your name. Ahead of him, you pause, turning, and let him catch up to you. 

“Can we exchange information?” he asks, digging in his wallet. He finally hands you a business card, and you dig in your wallet, hoping you have one tucked behind a credit card or something. 

“I’d like to talk to you about this, later, if you have time,” he says, a bit sheepishly. “I’m… not feeling very sure about it.”

“Okay,” you say easily, glancing at the time - you’ve got seven minutes to get across campus to teach your first class. “Do you want to grab a bite later? Your number’s on here?” You wiggle the business card, and he nods. “I’ll text you,” you promise, and start down the steps again, mind racing.

I hope you'll look forward to this fic! Very different from all my hyper-realism I've done until now :')

A friendly reminder that I don't do tag lists, but you can follow my Of Ruin tag for future snippets and updates, and I'll update my Recent Updates when I post!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Ahoy Steph 🙌, I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about yourself and what kind of tropes and stories you enjoy? Wanna get to know a little more about who is behind the blog if you don't mind🤸

Hey Nonny!

Sorry for the delay in a reply... just haven't "felt it" the past couple months, and after a nice 2 week break (and now a slow day at work), I feel more up to answering a long-form ask today, LOL.

So, I won't reveal too much about myself that isn't already public, since I try to keep my online and personal lives separate (and I come from an age where people usually DID do this because no one needs to know every little bit about you). The basics are that I'm a 41-year-old Canadian dork who loves video games, animation, movies, drawing, writing, and making music. I'm a graphic designer by trade, and have been for nearly 20 years, and I love it (if you need something designed or laid out, hit me up, I freelance on the side for extra spending money). I love dragons and puppies and kitties. I've been in fandom spaces for as long as I can remember, even before the internet. First major fandom I was a part of was Sonic the Hedgehog in my teen years, used to be a pretty popular writer back then. I moved on to Darkwing Duck in my 20s, then TMNT and then Sherlock (I'm a fan of a TONNE more things, but these were the active fanbases I had a presence in). These days I'm more of a lurker than actively participating, though Sherlock has been the longest one I haven't really moved on from. I like the casualness of what I've built here, and I think that's been a huge benefit for my mental health.

Hmm... my fave food is mac and cheese, but had to cut back on it a lot, so these days it's mostly chicken, lol. Fave dessert is cheesecake. Again, not supposed to eat it because of the dairy and sugar, so if I make it, I use lactose-free cheese. I treat myself once-a-year on my birthday, usually.

My current dream is to own a home. I've been trying to make it happen for almost 10 years now, and every time I get close, the goal-post gets shifted as housing prices skyrocket. It makes me very sad.

My dream holiday is a Disney cruise OR somewhere tropical; wanted to do these since I was 20. Secondary dream WAS going back to Disney World for my 40th, but now it's for my 45th or 50th, hopefully with SOMEONE (no one wants to go with me, hence the back-burner on this one). Listen, I know how awful Disney is. I just... really loved being there. It's easy to forget a lot of things when you're there. Third dream is a cross-country LITERAL nostalgia road trip with my sister. We used to go on 2-week-long, cross-Canada road trips when we were kids, and I just... want to kind of relive those, y'know? Lots of fond memories. Again, something that's just a dream because while my sister wants to do it, she doesn't want to be an alternate driver, so. Yeah, I can't do the driving alone.

Uh... Hmm. Not sure what else I should talk about here, if there's something specific y'all want to know, just ask :)

As for fave tropes, I love fake relationship fics the most, I think, followed by pining and movie rewrites with characters... I'm actually pretty easy-going when it comes to tropes, really. Willing to read any trope at least once to see if I like it.

Oddly, though, I prefer stories that are SUPER in-character (to how I read them, anyway) AND focus a lot on character studies and relationships with other characters. Novel-length stories are usually the best for it, but shorter ones can be too. I prefer fanfics more these days because I don't have to think about how these characters SHOULD be and focus more on the world that the author created. When I do read published novels, though, they're usually fantasy books. One of my fave series ever is the Inkheart Trilogy. Just an easy read from book one.

Yeah, so that's a little bit about me, to start off 2023 AND for any newbies that have just recently found me.

Thanks again for your curiosity :) Again, if you have anything you want more elaboration on, I can at my discretion.

[theryanitecorruptionandothersins]

Content Warning: suggestive image, implied/referenced non-con, discussions of fictional mob families and their unethical practices, unhealthy or inadvisable relationships, otherwise batshit and unrealistic things

stocked

finally she posts! first it was anxiety over punting this thing without the mature community label curtain. then it was a the posting limit she (i) hit on the other blog. then it was the general blog content warning she (i, again) forgot to post in favor of being an attention whore with no empathy for other people! (i'm working on that) what will she do next! (no please do tell me when i forget to tag things or tag things incorrectly or am generally being an asshole, thank you. the painfully aware presence that is not everything else usually catches it, but a shot to the knee is always welcome.)

now, onto house:

so as you have now probably gleaned (– and if you haven't, check the tags –) that the houses i write and draw are very au. very, very au, as my last attempt at fanfic or fan finagling with a piece of media has absolutely rotted my ability to not be au with it. he's still a bastard, of course - he's still robert edwin house, ceo of robco industries, sole proprietor of the new vegas strip. he's now just a little bit... other things as well.

he's Robert Edwin House, the mob wife of a mafia heiress Mary-lynn Lussier, and groomed since late adolescence to be so, partially of his own will, partially not since it's the mob, nevermind it being french, not entirely of his said mob spouse's full consent on the matter either, because 12 year olds will think anything is cool when it's a family thing and they're made to feel included, and she's protecting her nerdy twerp friend who's brother is a shit and who comes off as a mean snob when really he just doesn't get people all of the time, like her own one brother, of which there are several and think, that when she is sixteen and a prodigy at daddy's job, that her not-boyfriend sort of pet nerd, who made her a custom automatic baseball pitcher tailored to her and her needs, should also be tailored to her needs in turn and sex ed in fallout america is bullshit anyway, right?

he's also Robert Edwin House, long lost, now newly reacquainted and acquired in college, childhood friend of rancher and stable master's nephew Victor Keene, of the ranch just across the watering hole at hidden valley, that boards horses of the Lussier family as well as other people and is a rider and ranch hand himself, when he's not off pursuing his degree in geology. this pin-up is something from around that time. in the off season, when he is not off keeping the piece behind the scenes of the pitch, he's with vic and occasionally with a message from mary on some underground subject or rather. house is not fond of being made a pigeon, but he weathers it, because in spite of all that is duly sane and logical, he likes being around vic and being vic's (- though the latter was a bit slow with the shot, at first -), and mary's, to a broad extent, deeper than the physical aspects of anything, because you aren't this kind of childhood sweetheart without some kind of other understanding of each other, which they have, in every sense, developed over the years.

is it mean, to have house this way? to have his life have so little peace, to only find it in the sole and solid existence of his companions and the fleeting, barely there substance of the things he's worked for so long and so hard, that he can barely feel as more than heavy air surging up his fingers from time to time?

yes. undoubtedly. and believe me when i say: this might not even be the worst of it.

[kidstemplatte]

I know I’m probably way too late for the matchmaking- cursed time zones :( but I’m going to try anyway because I ADORE your blog and work.

- she/her pronouns, and I’m bisexual

-not sure on mbti so- around the right people I am loud and love to be always laughing whether that’s making people laugh or surrounded by people who will make me laugh! I’m a night person, I’m always sleeping in late and staying out at night. Around my friends I will be extroverted but I suffer with anxiety so I’m public and with people I don’t feel safe with, I can be extremely introverted. I can sometimes have a short temper. My language of love is physical touch.

-my hobby is music- I play piano and guitar to a high standard and love to perform and record my own songs (I have written an album and love playing in bands!). I collect records, go to lots of gigs and will always have some sort of music playing

-my pet peeves are noisy eaters and heavy breathing, particularly snoring

-I am quite short and petite, just about five foot, I have long brunette hair, green eyes and love expressing myself with fashion- I always wear platforms and flares with fun jackets/ accessories, and I always wear minimal makeup, but can’t leave the house without my smoky eyeliner

matchmaking event #4

thank you so much for your request!!!

your match is…

terzo!!!

-terzo doesn’t mind that you’re a bit shy at first, in fact, i think he would love watching you blossom as you get closer!

-always makes sure he’s by your side when you’re in a new space/meeting new people, so you don’t feel overwhelmed <3

-his charming and welcoming personality encourages you to come out of your shell

-loves your sense of humor, how you light up a room with your presence

-he might enjoy making you laugh even more, however, because your laugh is like music to his ears, and he loves your smile

-terzo is a night person as well! loves to stay up with you chatting, watching movies, partying, whatever it may be!

-goes to concerts and record stores with you, he’s a gift giver, so sometimes he’ll come home and bring you a vinyl he thought you would like🥺

-LOVES your passion for music!! blown away by your skills, asks you to play for him. you two might even write some songs together🤭 he listens to your album 24/7 and promotes it to everyone

-he comes to each and every one of your performances

-he also likes having music playing. doesn’t care who hears. he will BLAST it in his office, because he’s papa, and he can do whatever he wants.

-loves physical touch as well. he’s all over you 24/7, not even in a suggestive way, he just loves having his hands on you.

-he loves your height because not only is it cute it makes him feel tall haha

-LOVES your fashion, literally your biggest hypeman.

-you might even walk in on him trying on some of your clothes. he has no shame.

-sometimes he asks you to do his eyeliner tehe

-i think he also has a short temper however as he’s gotten older he has definitely learned to manage it better, meaning he knows how to handle you if you’re in a bad mood. plus he won’t judge since he understands the struggle.

-he also HATES eating noises LMAO, but what i will tell you is… he is a snorer.💀

-he denies it until you pull out a recording you took of him going “honk, shooo…..” “honk, shooo…”💤

-lowkey humiliated when you show him the evidence but hey, nobody’s perfect.

i hope you enjoyed reading!!! thank you so much for your kind words!!!❤️❤️❤️

[2n2n]

rapidfur

Shosei are weird since (from how i understand it) it was a student who lodged in someone elses house while they were going to school. That kinda fits in with whatever you were describing here, anyway, so I kinda like that. >_< an othering presence in the house… ]

It's fitting what I was describing because, this is the situation I had read about and was describing! Thanks for some confirmation really (sometimes I kinda just want reality also asserted to me, even if I'm just reading basic pages like wikis describing things .... it still feels uncertain without someone else saying, 'yeah, thats this') ..... Tsukasa attending school as a student, but going home to perform chores in their red house, seen as nothing but a stranger lodging there and providing work, by their mom. Its not 'his home', it's just his lodgings. In the translated articles I had read, this was translated as a 'laborer' at times (who performs household duties in exchange for lodging), and I wasn't really sure what other succinct word could be used to quickly/efficiently describe it in english, for what the dynamic is, a formal one, a goods/service exchange, not familial nor an employed one…. if there's a better way to refer to it I can't think of it easily !! Maybe 'laborer' sounds too formal or has its own connotations … I guess it was used in translations probably at a similar loss as I'm at with it haha. Like what do you say beyond just 'shosei' here?

One of the sites (I jumped around… god only knows. like why did a porn site describe this situation as well…) was this person's personal blog entry watching a japanese historical clothing show… it also describes this practice (of doing chores for lodging as a student), and also has an accurate picture that resembles Tsukasa's outfit well, without patterns or stripes etc....

So that person's translation is where I probably got 'laborer' as a term, and when writing things out and seeking to also convey it in a word, 'laborer's uniform' doesn't sound inaccurate (its not as if it could be called a maid uniform without similar misunderstandings… and I didn't want to say a mouthful of words every time trying to describe it!) I GUESS 'HOUSEBOY' IS ALSO A WAY ITS TRANSLATED, klsd;fjsdkl somehow that one makes me laugh housewife, houseboy the boy of your house.

With all that too it would make sense continuing on in school could be stressful for Amane, who feels the ticking clock for Tsukasa's residence in the house. 'The future' would be so murky....

but rereading my post I focused so much on the turns on it, I wasn't clear at any point of the actual arrangement, but I was also too insecure to really describe it directly haha … its more like, "a kind of laborer, sortof like a servant…." vaguely aha. But like, it is specific to being a student too … an important aspect …

You get my point though, right! The logic of this being twisted into a sort of Cinderella situation. A 'servant' of sorts, who is a student, who isn't actually the child of the person directing them in the chores!

[samuell2]

GOJIRAAAAAAAAAAAA Blog Post

Godzilla is so iconic that I was scared the original wouldn't live up to the hype, but I'm happy to say I really enjoyed this film. I watched this movie a bit late, after our class session. Summarizing the movie for me, my discussion partner Zander said that it never lingers. When I finally got around to watching the film, I understood exactly what he was talking about. This movie has some amazing pacing. The plot moves quickly, and individual scenes are mostly quite short, without long or dramatic poses. My ADHD brain loved this film for that reason.

As for Godzilla the monster, I was quite impressed by the practical effects. The big lizard's first reveal on Odo island was genuinely pretty tense, even though the monster itself looks sort of goofy by modern standards. On his own, Godzilla isn't that scary, but the terrified reactions of the actors to his presence really sells him as this unstoppable force of nature. Godzilla's carnage in Tokyo is also scarier than the destruction we see in modern films, for a couple reasons. During these scenes, the camera tends to focus on smaller groups and individuals (a mother holding her daughters, for example) rather than the massive fleeing crowds directors today are fond of. It makes the destruction feel more real and personal, rather than just bombastic. Even before Godzilla reaches Tokyo, we see him crush a house on Oto island, and watch a mother cower under the sinking roof-- a tragic scene that is reminiscent of World War II. Another reason these scenes are so scary is just how they look: the pitch black skies of Tokyo, the deep shadows everywhere, the walls of flame. Its a genuinely nightmarish atmosphere. The production in this movie is just on another level-- there are so many cool locations and shots. The scene at the hospital after Godzilla's first attack on Tokyo was especially impressive, and, of course, heartbreaking.

Anyway, my classmates have already commented on a lot of the political commentary with H-bomb testing and the cold war arms race, but one part I thought was especially interesting was the decision to initially keep the existence of Godzilla from the public after it was known that H-bomb tests had likely roused him from his slumber. The politicians were wary of disturbing relations with the US, something that illustrates the unequal nature of the two countries relationships during this period. Indeed, it was only because of that unequal relationship that the US was able to conduct tests at all.

Anyway, really enjoyed this movie.

[checkxmaster]

🟤🟤🟤

{out of code}🟤 Brown - What is a headcanon you are particularly proud of?

I've got a lot of interesting headcanons I've fleshed out either for Chad's backstory or as a result of his abilities with computers. I'm not sure proud is the right word, but some of them have been a lot of fun to elaborate on, or they've added depth to Chad that helps me define his personality beyond the small glimpse of him we got in the first movie. Alright, here we go...

Chad's wife, Iris. I never got around to getting a FC for her, and she honestly has never actually shown up in a thread as an NPC, but I did come up with a whole background story for Chad and his wife, how they met, what she did, etc. She's an elementary school teacher specializing in working with physically disabled children. To have a job like that, you have to have a lot of patience and empathy, and so it made sense to me that Chad would love someone like that. He can be very wound up at times and really hard on himself, so Iris' chill energy, patience, and understanding helps to balance him out when his anxiety gets the better of him. And Iris... just has a thing for shy computer nerds, so she fell for Chad right away. Iris was never meant to be a huge presence on this blog, but I created her just to give Chad some depth and to soften him a bit, because he always seemed like a strange paradox to me. He's a highly trained commando, yet he cracks under pressure and seems to have insecurity and anxiety issues. That's not ideal for his kind of work, so it made sense that being a commando was something he was more or less talked into and isn't the focus of his life. Giving him someone like Iris further fleshes out the kind of person Chad really is, when he's not forced to essentially be something he never wanted and was never meant to be.

Chad's cat, Oreo. Chad and Iris had a black and white cat named Oreo, but really it was Chad's cat. I don't know why I decided Chad was a cat person, but it just seemed to fit with him. Oreo is an unusually intelligent cat, very clever in his reasoning skills and able to pass the mirror test for self awareness. He also has a lot of other quirks like walking on two legs sometimes, communicating in very humanlike ways, and actively competing with Chad's keyboard for his attention. In threads where Chad made it out of the Hive with someone and they went to his house in the suburbs of Raccoon City to get supplies to go on the run, Oreo has sometimes tagged along as added color. He even had his own thread once where he came upon a sleeping Alice a few years after the Hive Incident and instantly bonded with her. Because he's very smart, Oreo was able to survive the apocalypse longer than most pets. (R.I.P. Matt's black Lab, Pickles... he didn't make it nearly as long, heh.) If you'd like to read more about Oreo, I made a headcanon post about him back in the day here.

Chad's investigation of the Umbrella computer AIs used to maintain their facilities. This was something I actually put a lot of thought into that only was mentioned in one thread, heh, but you know what? That's okay, I thought it was kinda cool anyway, even if it didn't get used for too much. In a thread with Alice around the time of RE: Extinction, they were down in the Nevada facility, and Chad was explaining about the White Queen and all the other AIs Umbrella uses to control and manage its facilities. It was just one of those times where I was feeling creative and a whole bunch of color poured out, heh. But to this day, it's one of the more fun headcanons I've fleshed out. The AIs I detailed are ones I use consistently across all my RE blogs, or at least I would if they ever came up, but if anyone ever wanted to go to an off-the-canon-path facility that's not shown in the movies where one of the other AIs was in control, that can be arranged on any of my RE blogs. Because of these headcanons about Umbrella's AIs and my use of her in a few of Chad's threads, I ended up creating a canon/OC hybrid muse for the White Queen and her human origin that I used to write under the url "untetheredqueen." I deleted the blog some years ago because there wasn't very much interest, but I still remember her fondly, heh. I found the thread where Chad explains about the different AIs, and I'll plop it under a cut if anyone is interested in reading about them, just because it's a bit long.

{Alice and Chad are down in the Nevada facility. Alice has just commented on Chad's ability to deal with and get around Umbrella's computer systems. She's asked about the White Queen and why she's in charge instead of the Red Queen...}

Chad chuckled lightly at her compliment. “Hardly. I’ve just had more time to study Umbrella and its computer systems than I ever had before the Hive. I… I know what I did wrong… that night.” A hint of self-loathing came back into his expression but he pushed the feeling down, staying on track. “A lot of good that does anyone now, but… I won’t make the same mistake twice.”

“Basically, what I didn’t realize, or what my training at Umbrella never taught me, was that each AI has its own personality. I’m not saying they’re alive, but they’re programmed to behave in a certain way, and that affects how they relate to humans. Their names are very telling. All from Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland or Through the Looking-Glass. Each facility has a dominant AI, with the Red Queen managing all of them. At some facilities, she’s the main AI, but at others like this one in Nevada, another AI is immediately in charge. In theory, the Red Queen can see everything that happens at all facilities, but… some of the AIs have been getting around that. It’s… actually interesting, the way they're learning… evolving. Their programming is some of the most advanced in the world. Well… was.

“There are five in total that I’ve been able to find, though only four of them are still in existence. The Red Queen, the White Queen, the White Knight, the Mad Hatter, and… the Jabberwocky. The Jabberwocky was the first of all of them, terminated before the creation of the Red Queen. It was… a disaster. The idea was to create a predatory AI to guard Umbrella’s facilities that would attack enemies of the Corporation. The problem was, the programming was too absolute, too stringent. The computer started killing people for the most minor of infractions, like swiping an expired ID card. There was a huge cover-up, it was scrapped, and the Red Queen was later instituted as the replacement for it. Same homicidal tendencies, but better programming to back it up.

“Where I went wrong years ago, was that I didn’t consider the personality of the AI I was dealing with. Their names are not random at all. The Red Queen is a violent AI with extreme weapons capabilities that is not trusting of anyone. She would sooner kill you than bank on anything you say. She had to be that way to protect the Corporation’s most dangerous and valuable assets, at least in their opinion. ‘You’re all going to die down here,’ isn’t just her favorite catchphrase. Turns out it’s a protocol initiation code. It means she’s marked people inside the facility for termination. It’s an indication that someone’s done something that’s caused a threshold to be reached, a trigger to be set off, or a contingency to be set into motion, all detailed within her programming. Basically, you did something that made you a threat to her and violated the absolute containment policy of the facility. If I’d known that phrase wasn’t just her talking shit about us, that it was an actual initiation of a defense protocol, I would never have disabled her and cut the power. Because she doesn’t use that protocol unless things have reached the highest level of dangerous.

“Had I considered the distrusting and paranoid nature of the Red Queen’s programming, I also would not have trusted how easy it had been to disarm her. The bitch had a whole other layer of defense and weaponry coding that she had encrypted to look like something benign, so I overlooked it at first. She allowed me to disable some things so that I would think she had no weapons, keeping other avenues open in case she was threatened by us. When everyone went into that corridor and you asked me what they were doing… I started talking… out loud… about scrambling the mainframe. That’s when she turned on us. She heard me… and considered us all a threat to her from that moment on.

“The Mad Hatter is a security AI that is programmed to be extremely paranoid, but it has no weapons. The White Knight is a similar peaceful AI but it’s in charge of a facility where prisoners are kept, so it’s programmed to go into lockdown at the drop of a hat and only confirmation from outside the facility can unlock it. Yeah… Umbrella had its own prison. Did you know that? I didn’t. Highly illegal, too, not that that ever stopped them before.

“The White Queen was, as her name suggests, programmed to be a kinder and more forgiving AI than her sister, but in some ways just as tough on those who threaten her. I’ve studied her a lot, and her two biggest priorities are self-preservation and safeguarding human life. None of the AIs can harm Umbrella employees anymore, but… Dr. Isaacs’ current research has actually caused a conflict in her programming. She disagrees with it. I’ve found strange updates to her coding and tagging in her data logs that suggest that she has decided his activities are unacceptable. She’s started to resemble her namesake in other ways too besides a better moral compass. The White Queen has taken it upon herself to put up multiple firewalls to keep the Red Queen from seeing what’s going on at the Nevada facility. The Red Queen thus far either hasn’t noticed, or she doesn’t care that her sister apparently wants to be left alone,” he said with a half grin.

“As far as how dangerous she might be to us… she actually might not mind us being there. So long as we don’t threaten to shut her down, disable the main power circuits for the facility, or intend to continue T-virus research, she should not want to harm us. If anything, she might help us, if we’re willing to end Dr. Isaacs’ research to resolve her programming conflict. The White Queen accounts for human emotion in her decision-making, which means she is willing to bargain, to take things like fear and sadness and anger into account, to analyze our responses to her and willingness to do as she asks, and to compromise on some things to have a better overall outcome for human life. For example, whereas the Red Queen didn’t want any of us to leave the Hive, the White Queen might have told us about the antivirus sooner, or allowed those of us who weren’t infected to leave. She is also more honest than the deceptive Red Queen. She would have told us up front why we should not cut the main power and what exactly had happened, because she would understand that our defiance and curiosity would only lead to more casualties later. She’s a problem solver, not a problem eliminator. She’s definitely an upgrade as far as emotional and psychological intelligence.”

“There’s… something else. I think… that she knows about my facial recognition software virus. She has to. After this much time, there’s no way she shouldn’t have found it by now. I’m good, but I’m not that good. If she has noticed, she hasn’t done anything about it, not resolving it or quarantining files that contain it or alerting the Red Queen to its existence. It would make sense that she’d be okay with it, though, since it’s essentially impeding Dr. Isaacs’ research by preventing the software from confirming your identity. She can’t do anything to stop him herself, but she doesn’t have to help him by getting rid of the virus either. It depends on what we say to her, but if we play our cards right, she might help us more than we might think.”

He stopped then, realizing that he had gone off on a geeky tech rant about the different computer systems. the smile that emerged now was almost shy. “I like figuring out computers and had a lot of spare time on my hands these past few years,” he offered as an explanation for his detailed knowledge. “It occupied my mind, you know?”

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

I posted 5,827 times in 2022

That's 1,799 more posts than 2021!

427 posts created (7%)

5,400 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jordanshenessy

@carloslouwho

@willemijzermans

I tagged 5,557 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#setting up a sobbe queue bc my dash needs more sobbe - 615 posts

#buddie - 606 posts

#adorable and wholesome heartstopper - 315 posts

#bwahahaha - 300 posts

#kinnporsche - 249 posts

#eddie diaz <333 - 204 posts

#missing them so i’m reblogging some of my favorite sets - 174 posts

#aftg - 132 posts

#911 spoilers - 123 posts

#sobbe - 122 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the whole episode is leaning towards family screaming family and we’re all sitting here after years of fics dumbfounded that they are coming

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The symbolism of Eddie holding both Christopher and Buck’s heart is phenomenal: Eddie picking them up together; their hearts, essentially Buck and Chris, coming as a pair, as a package deal because they already are (a father and his son); Buck’s heart being more romantic and playful, as would be the case with a friend and lover; Chris’s being anatomical bc he literally got it from Eddie; the hearts just lying there, waiting for Eddie to find them and hold them. It’s the idea that he can have both. That he already has them. They are his. There. Waiting. Ready. Already loving him and supporting him and holding him up.

We started season 5 with Eddie saving a literal heart from a helicopter, and now he’s saving his own, embarking on a healing journey that will allow him to fully enjoy the love of the two hearts that have already been entrusted to him.

And as we know, Eddie’s already given Buck his heart, trusted him with his whole ass heart, bc he gave him Chris. First after the tsunami and then again with the will. “You saved him. Now let us save you.” Eddie and Chris helped heal Buck’s heart then, and now, in Eddie’s hour of need, Buck has seamlessly stepped in as a supportive partner, as a second parent, ready to help heal Eddie’s heart. Why was it so easy? Bc he was already doing it before. He’d already been putting in the work. He’d already been “making it.” Now it’s just more obvious bc Eddie needs help. They are so intricately entwined and bound together they don’t know where one of them begins and the other ends.

“You can have my back any day” has turned into “you can have my heart, my family, and my life. I am yours.” And all Buck wants is to be loved and wanted, and here we are—an epic love story in the making.

127 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#4

I think it’s a very interesting choice that Buck is initially the only one in the frame when they arrive at the DIY house. It’s like they wanted Eddie’s presence and their partnership to be a reveal, like “oh isn’t Buck sweet to want to help out,” but then it’s not Buck it’s BuckandEddie. Because they are partners. Because they thought of this together. Because they like to fix things. And they brought friends. Suddenly it’s just a wholesome, sweet moment of husbands helping someone out. It can’t be misconstrued as anything else.

But anyway, the point is that they could have shown Eddie from the beginning, but they didn’t. He comes into the frame well after Buck, and it felt like it meant something, like we needed to see how they support each other, how they’re a matched set.

How Eddie would follow Buck anywhere.

That’s it for me. That right there. Eddie knows how he feels while Buck is still searching, still figuring it out, so Eddie is willing to wait and follow and be there for him until he does. Sure this is a cute moment of hotness, but I think it’s also indicative of where their relationship stands atm.

158 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#3

Omg, rereading aftg and Andrew stopped Neil from running away that first day. He became the reason Neil stayed, but here in the first few pages he physically stops him from running. Talk about carrying a theme throughout. It was right here at the beginning.

188 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

I have to keep pinching myself to remember that the last two episodes are canon and not fanfic.

They really happened. We aren’t all having a collective fever dream. Eddie’s finally in therapy, finally facing his thoughts and fears. Chris called Buck. Buck broke down the door. Buck was in the room. Buck gave Eddie his heart. Buck “misunderstood the assignment.” They’re at last broaching the topic of the shooting. Buck’s out there husbanding and parenting his heart out, and Eddie’s letting him. Eddie’s letting him in. Eddie’s letting him take care of them, and I’m—

Eddie’s letting him bc they are a family, and this is not a fic.

370 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Character who can’t control his heart eyes.

Me: That’s the one. I’m going to spiral over that one. That one is now my best friend. That’s my new blorbo. I want that one. I’m gonna watch him be embarrassingly in love and enjoy every second of it.

422 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[souloffended]

I read a blog about automatic writing today, so I am going to try to experiment with that concept.

I wonder what the inevitable outcome of the experiment will be? I have absolutely no plan or idea for a topic, I am just writing...

Why is it such a good idea to write automatically anyway...

Who decided it was an effective meditation technique...perhaps I should have contacted the original poster and asked a few more questions

...at least asked for some source material.

Interesting, how often writing lacks sources. As if sources really make sense within the greater context of life...

Anyone and anything can be a source and their value or lack thereof is completely determined by subjective forces...

Trust has to be a major component in accepting source material. Trust is such a diluted concept, it may be impossible to clearly define such a vague concept.

Like altruism...is there really a such thing, or does the amount of trust required to believe in the concept make it benign by default.

Irrelevant is the word that comes to mind as I consider all of the factors that would lead to quantifying the amount of moral concessions that lead to acceptance of the trite circumstances that led to this extreme run on sentence.

This is rather fun. Perhaps this is a exercise I should only do on Thursdays. Create a bit of a ritual for my non-existent audience to consume;)

It is really funny, people meet me and question why I am not successful. I tell them point blank, I am an extremely private person who lacks a social network on which to expand an audience.

At which point I am advised to "get on Facebook"...and I am left wondering how many brain cells the individual in front of me actually has.

...People are not stupid. Not at all.

Like the smell of candles they faintly brush the air with their perfume but are quite ineffectual at excavating the vagrancies in the air.

One needs incense to raise the vibration. I have never heard of anyone burning their house down with incense, I am sure there is one person with the audacity to search google for the minimal instance that it occurred to prove me wrong.

They could just accept the fact that I am making the point that candles are a waste of resources and have a tendency to result in significant amounts of real property damage, but no...

They will bang on about statistics until they are blue in the face rather than investing in incense to purify the negative vibes they dispense by the mere fact of their presence.

It is 10:35 and I have committed to transcribing my thoughts for the next three to five minutes.

Supposedly this meditation is supposed to be a meditation so by partaking in this experience I should be able to obtain some measure of clarity of focus.

Like...maybe perhaps what I am planning to do with my life is not what I actually want to do with my life. However, being stuck between a rock and a hard place means making the decision that will cause the least amount of emotional devastation.

People do not really care how you feel, they just want you to answer their questions. No one owes anyone answers. Privacy is not some privilege dreamed up by bourgeoisie scholars on some beach in Athens. It is an actual total thing, and every individual should feel inclined to exercise a bit of agency over their own privacy.

Therapists are not doing anyone any favors. They are good to work out the trauma of witnessing an extreme act of violence or giving tools for acceptance and healing...but I mean, why give someone with the power to take away your life based on their perspective of the world the tools to do so.

Poor Kanye.

He got screwed.

I mean...he is a bit of a character. Those kinds of eccentricities come with artistic individuals. I am not entirely sure he was given the right diagnoses.

10 minutes later I am still writing and I have found this exercise to be mildly therapeutic.

I bet, if I used this technique to craft my LARP game it would work.

[moemoemammon]

I just found ur blog and read thru some of ur stuff and im in love !! Ur writing is nice to read, and always gives a nice picture of the situation

If its aight, could u do some headcannons for the demon bros Finding out mc goes real hard on housekeeping ? Im talking fast and good cleaning, does chores without problems, propably even cleans after them (totally doesnt mother them in anyway), all without complaint, mc just cares

Housekeeper MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

The fact that he didn't have to shove a mop and bucket into your hands like the evil stepmother has him like 👀👀

Out of every person he's met, you and Barb are the only ones that actually enjoy cleaning? And now he's wondering if you've been influenced by him in some way because got damn are those floors sparkling-

Ever since you've arrived, the house has been immaculate. But as much as he enjoys that, he worries that you aren't leaving enough chores for his brothers to do.

They're gonna be lazy at this rate, especially if you keep cleaning up after them like that. He's planning to sit you down and have a good talk about how you should rest a bit, and- D...did you polish his desk????

"MC... as grateful as I am to you, I thought I asked you to rest? You don't have to clean every little thing in this house. You're here as our guest, and more, so I won't have you behaving like a maid. But if you're that interested in keeping your hands busy, you may feel free to maintain my desktop. It looks as good as new, thanks to you."

Mammon

Oh, so you're one of THOSE types, huh? The goody goodies that like to make everything clean and sparkly, huh?? Well don't expect him to help ya!

Was an asshole at first. Made messes to see if you'd clean them, tried to dump his chores on you, etc. But now that you've stolen his heart? Yeah, he wants you to sit down.

You're messing up your hands with all that time spent scrubbing crevices and dusting ugly old paintings, when you could be spending time with him!

Tch, that's it! If it's chores that're keeping you from looking his way, he'll just finish them before you can do anything! Checkmate!

"You're always scrubbin' somethin'! Let my brothers take care of the messes, while YOU sit down and watch this movie with me! Ain't no point in watchin' it by myself, so I ain't takin' no for an answer!" "Huh?? Waddya mean 'when was the last time I vacuumed'??"

Levi

Oi oi oi...! What do you think you're doing with that feather duster?! You don't think you've got the right to approach his figures with it, do you?! WRONG!

But you quickly discover how ticklish Levi is, and he squirms out of your way while watching in horror as you... delicately handle every figure? And dust them from top to bottom, without so much as an accessory out of place..?

Wait... are you seriously okay with picking up all that trash?? S-some of it's sticky from all the junk food, and- Gah! Don't go messing around in his closet!!!

Yeahhh Levi doesn't let you clean his room lmao. It's way too stimulating to watch you carefully touch every surface in his room... I-it's like you're heaven everything with your presence, and...

"S-so yeah! The only things you're allowed to clean are the figures and the outside of Henry's tank! Nothing else, got it?! Anything more and I seriously won't be able to handle it...I won't even be able to sit still in my own room......." 👉👈

Satan

Satan found it funny how willing you were to take up every little chore there was to be done in the house and he's got to admit, reading is much more enjoyable in a tidy environment.

But what he REALLY wants to know is how you managed to dust off every single book in the house, his room included, without him?? Knowing?? And you've done every shelf as well, cleaned out the cobwebs behind it, and even repaired that little tear in the upholstery of his favorite arm chair????

Has also deduced that you're probably the maid character in the books that knows everything. Actually, you're a lot like Barbatos. What secrets are you hiding human 🔫

Just kidding. But yeah, when you insist on dusting his room, he follows you around the room and watches you. You know, just in case you fall or something falls on you! No other reason.

"As much as I like having you here all to myself, it makes me feel bad watching you do that by yourself. Why don't you we clean together? We'll get it done twice as fast, and when we're finished, I'd like to read a book to you. You remind me of a certain character from a murder mystery novel I've started."

Asmo

Eeehhh?!?!? You've seriously managed to organize both his endless skin care product collection, and his ENTIRE wardrobe?!? You're amazing...!

And you don't stop there. You were more than happy to clean his tub for him and everything, and you know how hard it is to get oil off the side of a tub, right? You're a lifesaver!

Asmo casually pawns off his chores too you. Oh, he just did his nails! Can you do the dishes? Ah, he just bought this outfit. Can you take out the trash? He's about to go out with his friends to a party, so be a dear and take care of the common bathroom for him?

Lucifer scolds the shit out of him every time he catches him doing that. You're welcome. But don't think Asmo won't repay you! He'll give you so much love, you'll be drowning in it! Figuratively or literally, depending on your preferences-

"Fufufu... if you wanted my attention, you should've just told me! You didn't have to go tidying up my shoe collection, but I'm happy you did~! If you keep spoiling me like this, I might not be able to keep my hands off of you! Unless... that's what you wanted?"

Beel

Things tend to get pretty messy with Beel around, with the trail of crumbs he always leaves in his wake, and how he manages to get every surface he touches sticky. But you must be a miracle worker...

You're like a living roomba, and his ravenous appetite is no match against your cleaning skills! You seem to predict when the food bits will fall, and it's thanks to you that he can eat without a care in the world!

It's actually kind of scary, though. He'll drop a bite of his sandwich and move down to retrieve it to eat, and... it's gone. Poof. Into the ether of the garbage can...

You can still rest once in a while though, you know? Beel offers to help you with the cleaning, and he's more than happy to let you climb up his shoulders to reach those high places. It makes him happy to know he can lend a hand.

"MC, I already cleaned over here so you don't have to do it. I cleaned there, too. That means you don't have anything else to do, so why don't you have a lunch break with me? It's not good to work so hard all the time."

Belphie

Belphie's one for the more observant brothers, so your clean freak habits didn't go unnoticed. He didn't know if you were obsessed with cleaning, or if you genuinely enjoyed it, but at least you were doing it without a fuss?

And man did you do a good job. Everywhere you cleaned was left with the lingering smell of vanilla and lavender, and... you know, the smell is making him sleepy.

Every pillow his head touches seems especially fluffy, too! When he found out you made a regular habit of washing and fluffing them, and they smell amazing... He feels like he's laying on a cloud...

He won't admit it genuinely, but he really does love what you're doing with the place. It makes him feel a little fuzzy inside when he finds his pillow on his bed, freshly laundered and soft to the touch. He clings to it extra tight those nights.

"You know if you keep this up, I might prefer the pillows to your lap. Ah, but don't worry, I don't really mean it. There's no way a pillow could replace you, no matter how good it smells. I think."

[hebescus]

dunno if you still still take fic requests but if you do, pls write a fic with light and L having an intense contest over wordle. love your work and your blog btw :))

Hi!! Nope I don't really open fic recs but I'll do them if I can, and this one looks fun to do. Sorry it takes a while! Idk if this 100% fits the prompt but I tried 😅

AU where everything is fine, the year is 2022 (I imagine them being middle aged during this time..with their canon ages, but honestly it's up to you, I don't specify), the two lives together with a cat, and L has a secret social media account. Doesn't not stop them from being competitive as ever. I put this in my short fic collection on AO3.

----

Mornings had been fine. Light wakes up quite early, takes a shower and dresses up, has his breakfast and coffee in the kitchen with a furry ball of a scrunkly black cat that resembles another occupant of the house rubbing his body on Light's legs, then he's ready for work. Of course he's not alone, he has a human sized scrunkly black haired creature perching on the opposite side of the bed and counter in each of those mornings. It's Light's favorite time of the day and he knows it's L's too. Two morning people basking in each other's presence, their plates illuminated by the golden sun from the window, a peaceful wispy air to prepare themself for whatever day that might come…

Yeah, all peaceful and shit before L discovered Wordle — "Light-kun, Mello and Matt are currently fussing about this Wordle thing on Twitter. I wonder what that is." — and thought it was a good idea for them to try it. And make it a competition. Because of course they do. They're Light and L, but like—

"What do you start with?" Light tends to be more curious on L's starter than the other way around. They're not the 'ADIEU' or 'IRATE' users, duh, that's for losers and cowards, they're better than that. Usually they just use a convenient word that pops in their enormous brains, sometimes things from the surrounding at the moment. But the other day, the little shit won first try with the word 'MOIST' resulting in a very heated silent treatment — over the years, the sulking habit got a little bit infectious — from Light for the rest of the day.

Oh and that one time Light wrote his own name and resulted in the same accomplishment. His partner cursed him as "narcissistic asshole" (hypocrite) and talked shit about him to the cat with a cooing baby voice everytime Light was within earshot.

Luckily, their competition only consists of who is faster so far. It would be embarrassing, a shameful mistake, a cruel stab of pride for them out of all people to lose even one Wordle strike. What do you mean New York Times is better, smarter than them? No way.

"Scone."

"Oh really?" Light rolled his eyes.

"You?"

"Cases."

"Boring."

"Shut up. What does it matter anyway?"

Light squints at the yellow 'E', and carefully ponders before he writes down a new word. Still a yellow 'E', but at least there's another yellow 'R'. He can feel the piercing glance of L's as his lips pulled into a tiny smile. He hasn't got it yet.

He got an 'E' for his first guess but I don't know if it's green. He still has the chances of guessing the letter 'O' and 'N' which I didn't have earlier but it seems like he doesn't get anything yet in the second row. Should I try using the letters he used? No, knowing him he would probably get at least something but I can't quite see it in his face. I have one vowel left to use, too. I should be careful. But the letter 'N' is not impossible….no. Let's try this first. He typed in a word.

Fuck. Nothing.

For the first time since the day they started playing the game, Light feels stupid. Well- not stupid, Light Yagami is never stupid. There's just a fear of defeat as his gaze ghost on the determined expression of L's. Think fast, Yagami. You can't lose against L and this stupid game. Even though L looks ten times more attractive when with deep focus on his face, thumb toying with his lip— fuck. Okay. No. Stop!

By the time they type in the first letter of the fourth row, the coffee is almost gone cold at this point, and the cat is only a few steps away from snatching the half eaten scones in L's plate. His partner's eyebrows — or the place where there should be eyebrows — furrowed, and Light himself is mumbling as he cards through his inner dictionary.

"How's it going, Light-kun?"

"Good."

"Are you?"

"Are you?"

Light's head tilts up when he gets a green 'V'. A word snapped into his head all of the sudden. He waits until L writes down his own word, hiding a grin when he sees that familiar sulky look accompanied by a flash of shock. That's it.

'NERVE'

This is it, for the first time L lost, and Light wins- Light's grin falls the moment the letters reveal themselves—

'VERVE'

"What…"

Heat spread across his cheeks as he read the answer. Deep breath, yagami, deep breath. It's just a Wordle, it's just a silly online game it's not a big deal, right? L—

That little shit.

"Ah. I thought about answering this one but also thought it didn't make sense…"

"It doesn't! There's two 'V's and two 'E's what is wrong with them?" Light bursts at last. Okay, well, at least they both lose their strike.

"I know right, that's unexpected."

"Yeah!"

"This is embarrassing."

"Should've been you who bought it instead of the New York Times. I fucking hate them," Light huffs, frowning as he circles the counter and cleans his dirty dishes on the sink.

"You didn't propose the idea earlier, now I want to see what I can do."

"I was kidding, god's sake."

"I know. Next time, you're hacking them."

"You know what I'm fucking tempted."

"Light-kun's been cursing like a hundred times and it's only seven in the morning."

"I'm pissed," Light says, wiping his hand on a napkin. "And I'm going to be late."

"Leaving now?"

"Yeah, I'll be having a bad day." Light moves away from the kitchen, still wearing a sour look as he fetches a bag from the living room.

"Goodbye," L says, mouth full of the unfinished scone that managed to survive from prying paws. Light enters the kitchen once more and plants a quick kiss on the other's messy hair, his face tickled by the strands. "Hope your coworkers don't know that their Yagami is losing on Wordle."

"I hope the world knows their greatest detective is losing on it too!" It's the last thing he says before the door is slammed shut.

Mornings…are not always fine.

[tvrningout-archived]

     YELLS!!!! this is a TWO MONTH OLD revelation and that’s a crime bc i should have written about this a long time ago, but anyway!!! during my iconing process for kaigaku, i noticed he’s using the same sword in his fight with zenitsu that he trained with during their time with gramps........ DID GRAMPS GIVE KAIGAKU HIS SWORD BC IF SO I FEEL MY HEADCANONS CONCERNING HIM AND GRAMPS ARE PRETTY WELL-FOUNDED AND ALSO THE FACT THAT KAIGAKU SAYS “ SO THE OLD MAN REALLY DID PLAY FAVORITES... ” I JUST MADE AN AUDIBLE SOUND OF DISTRESS

     okay, now that i screamed, let’s articulate this better :’ )

     personal blogs, pls pls pls do not reblog this!!

     i’m gonna assume that gramps found kaigaku a few years before he found zenitsu bc 1. kaigaku was a strong slayer ( he wouldn’t have faired very well against kokushibo otherwise ), and part of that would have been his own dedication and ability, but it also makes sense if he had extra training. 2. if what i saw is correct and gramps did give kaigaku his own sword to train with, then that means they had a close relationship that preceded zenitsu. he likely believed kaigaku had the potential to become the next thunder pillar even without being able to master the first form because that kid was determined to prove himself -- gramps didn’t have to push him to try his hardest bc kaigaku was always giving it his all. and maybe gramps could see it, the way kaigaku never let himself fully relax, the way he seemed extra tense if he wasn’t doing everything perfectly. maybe gramps, who wasn’t always good with communicating more tender feelings of care, decided to give kaigaku something he could hold, something that would clearly communicate how proud gramps was and how much faith he had in his successor.

     so gramps gives kaigaku his sword, and kaigaku’s heart heals a little. he feels more at ease and starts to believe maybe he really is someone of importance to gramps. he starts to believe he has a home and parental figure who won’t throw him out when they get tired of him. kaigaku grows hopeful for the first time in a while.

     then zenitsu shows up not that long after gramps’ gift of his sword. kaigaku doesn’t particularly care for zenitsu nor does he particularly hate him at that point, but the new kid’s presence does make him uneasy, especially when gramps announces that zenitsu will be training with them from then on. then it’s “ you’ll share the successorship! ” and kaigaku begins to doubt gramps, doubt his place in gramps’ house. the more time gramps spends with zenitsu, the worse kaigaku’s feelings become. he grows to deeply resent zenitsu who is cowardly, who doesn’t even want to be there, and he has to wonder why gramps tries so hard to keep him if not because kaigaku is inadequate. he’s fallen from gramps’ favor somehow, and zenitsu must be his replacement, right?

     so when gramps gifts both of them similar haori, he doesn’t wear his even though gramps goes through the trouble of making them in each of their colors. he gives the excuse that he gets too hot wearing it, but really he doesn’t want to be associated with zenitsu in any way, and honestly?? kaigaku thinks the haori is just a gift to placate him, to give the appearance that gramps doesn’t have a favorite. kaigaku refuses to wear a gift that lacks sincerity.

     bc when it comes down to it, kaigaku is actually pretty sentimental. he holds onto a lot and not just his bitter feelings like the whole “ playing favorites ” matter. he holds onto gramps’ sword as a demon bc it’s one of the only gifts he’s ever received, even if in the end, gramps was just like everyone else kaigaku’s ever known. he holds onto his necklaces which were given to him by his sister ( my personal hc as we actually don’t know where they came from ) bc there’s no way he can ever let go of her memory. he even holds onto his slayer uniform and yukata ( which i think gramps also gave him ) when he could have easily gotten different clothing!! like what!!! why don’t you just scream that you harbor guilt and still feel for your comrades!!!

     so um. yeah...... the kaigaku we see during his battle with zenitsu is basically the worst version of kaigaku bc of his deep-seeded resentment and feelings of inferiority and also!! maybe just the littlest bit of manipulation from muzan bc you can’t tell me that man didn’t feed into those negative feelings to ensure kaigaku’s loyalty and resolve. the real kaigaku just wanted very very much to belong and feel like someone who mattered instead of someone who could be replaced and tossed away when someone else better or more likable came along : ((((((( and it breaks my heart every day to think about : ((((((((

[vespersposts]

Wildchild [10]

Hi lovelies 💓,

here we are with the new episode. It's a rather angsty and sad one cause Aomine is such a dork sometimes, and Akashi has his problems too in making up to you.

Hope you'll feel it pleasant and I thank you again for the support you are showing to Knb and specifically for my blog.

Let's keep in touch,

Love,

V.

💣PS: I apologize in advance for any grammatical and/or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language (bear with me!).

➿Genre: long story, contains angst, fluff and smut parts that will be reported in relevant chapter post.

💮Wildchild Masterlist💮

🔖: @theweasleysrule , @theehcneypot

If you wanna get into taglist , just dm me!

"Don't be silly, it's dark by now and you wouldn't have been able to carry all this stuff by yourself anyway" he tells you, pointing to the handle of the large cotton bag that divides you.

"Aren't you going to be late?" you smile at him, slowing your pace to match his.

"I've got time" he tells you simply, stopping to observe the intersection with the kindergarten that would later lead him to the konbini where he is meeting Imayoshi.

In the damp evening you smell his scent mingling with that of the night, you see his large, long hand relaxed against his dark jeans, the silence between you is so thick you can hear him breathing. 

You know he is about to tell you something, but you do not know if you have the heart to listen. 

"It's yours" he tells you, pointing to the strap slung over your shoulder from which the vibration comes. You nod and awaken from your fantasies, retrieving your phone and when you see the Kyoto boy's name on the screen, you smile at your walking companion, as he backs away to give you space, waiting a few steps ahead.

"Here I am, Sei " you tell him, holding the phone pressed to your ear, lest you think someone else might overhear your call. 

You hear his words, but do not immediately grasp their meaning, so much so that Akashi has to repeat them.

You remove the phone from your ear and look at Daiki, standing on the doorstep, and instinctively move closer as the speaker on the phone calls your voice.

"I get it, but I don't want to talk about it now" you answer coldly "Of course I'm disappointed, but I understand that you can't do otherwise.No, no need to.... I’ll be fine" you sigh trying not to cry "I'm telling you I don't want to talk about it now; I need some time alone to get myself together, sorry. Talk to you later, I promise “ you wrap up the conversation.

Your hands are shaking with anger, and the mere thought that he has seen it makes you even more upset. You can't put your phone back in your shoulder strap, and when you try to pull out your house keys, they fall at your feet, making a huge racket.

"Just leave it" he tells you, twirling them around one finger and opening the front door to let you in, before doing the same.

You are both in the kitchen, far away from each other. Daiki puts the large cotton bag on the table and sits on the oak bench, his head resting on his hand, as if expecting an explanation.

You bring him a glass of water, which you obviously need more than he does.

“I've always liked this house. It's so peaceful” he tells you, giving you his back to look at the large windows that give a glimpse of the garden, lit only by the solar lanterns.

"Nothing has changed, at least here" he continues, watching you drink.

"It has to stay that way, you know, I promised her" you acknowledge, approaching to sit next to him, who nods silently, staring into the distance. In fact, you don't even know if he has noticed your presence, caught up as he seems in his own thoughts. 

"I'm sorry" he states, pointing his incredible blue eyes into yours, one elbow on the table and his arm outstretched to retrieve his drink.

"Don’t be, I'm used to it" you confess, feeling tears sting your eyes again " Though, mine is a choice. You know what they say? As you make your bed, so you must lie on it " you fake a smile, hoping he will believe the emancipated and mature version of you, and go off to party with his friends, or anyway far from you.

"I think you're right " he avows, smirking at you as he sees your relieved look "That's what you are to him: a habit. That's why it will never be" he stabs you, looking at his phone to check the time. 

You want to say something but remain frozen by the grim expression his face has taken on.

"Seijuro is many things, but he is definitely not dumb. Since he can't have you, no one else will. You will be stuck in this limbo forever, believing that you have chosen, or worse, dreaming that you can live your life with him. You will not have a life with him and, believe me, you may not even have a life at all. You can be his lover, for what? Two jumps in a week? Is he that good?" he laughs, looking down on you "Actually you are a toy in his hands. That's what I'm sorry about “ he tells you, standing up to stretch, as if what he told you hadn't really come out of his mouth.

"I understand what you mean and I thank you for your thoughtfulness but …" you smile at him, standing up in turn.

“I thank you for your thoughtfulness... Is that so? Do you think you can mess with me?" he stresses, looking at you with what you perceive as scorn. 

"Give it a damn, Daiki!" you tell him, not tolerating his attitude one minute longer.

You see him grinning, that mocking smirk of his that always made you want to open a hand wide on his face.

"So…You still remember my name" he points out, taking a step towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder to bring himself close to your ear "Don't screw with me, you know you can’t".

"Am I a liar now?" you answer him, feeling his warm body move away from yours, leaving only silence and coldness behind.

"Who the fuck knows, you tell me. Give me something true about these days you spent here, with Satsuki and Tetsu. These two days with me in the way...It must have been torture, isn't it? " he nags you, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You shake your head, because there’s no simple answer.

'You're right, I didn't want to come. I didn't want to see any of you, especially you. I didn't want to feel like that girl again. That one you could have whenever and wherever you wanted but.... The truth is, I miss you. I miss Satsuki's talk, I miss seeing how happy she is with Tetsu, I miss your parents and their support, I miss the walks downtown, the days at basketball camp, the dinners... and I miss you. I miss not seeing you, not talking to you, not knowing anything about you" you agreed with a sigh.

"It's funny that you actually miss me when Akashi prefers his girlfriend over you, isn't it? Yet it's always like that, so listen well: I don't want you to miss me, I don't want you to either think about me or worry about me. Live the life you brag so much about, and stop nagging me” he tells you abruptly, taking his mobile phone from his pocket.

“I tried to go back to Kyoto right away, but it's not possible because Seijuro isn't in town and I... “ you try to explain, but his icy gaze stops you.

"I don't give a damn about your problems with Akashi, ok? I just want you to promise me that we won't see each other again" he tells you "And quickly too, I've got a life to live" he cuts, giving way towards the door.

"I do promise" you nod automatically, trying to smother the anguish the words you just said cause you. 

You unlock the front door, see the threshold light come on and breathe, but it's no use.

You try to banish that strange feeling, but your body soon becomes saturated with it, like a glass of water into which a drop of ink is spilled. 

You feel your eyes moisten, your cheeks redden, your nose pinch and you already know that this time you won't be able to stop yourself in time. 

"Please don't, you know I can't stand seeing you cry. You made a promise, you gotta play fair" he sighs, when a big shiny tear falls from your eyes.

"I am, you see. I'm fine, everything's fine, it's already over" you tell him, wiping your eyes with one hand to prevent him from doing so.

"It's just tiredness. It's been two nerve-wracking days, I need to rest" you smile at him, opening your hand in greeting.

He stands at the threshold, motionless and silent to give you one last long look. 

His phone rings, but it doesn't matter. 

You should close the door, but you don't.

Your situation forever.

Even if you don't want to, you have to be the one to cut the wire that connects you and set him free, as he asked you to.

Even if you can't lie, and you know that what you are about to tell him will just annoy him.

"Thank you for all these years, thank you for making everything so much easier than I deserved. Thank you for giving me something true and powerful to hold on to in these difficult times. You made me feel loved, Daiki. So deeply loved that I always thought I couldn't give it up. You need me to take an honest stand and that's it, I won't hide anything anymore. Believe me, I tried to understand what I felt for you. Before I moved, I’m sure I was deeply in love with you. I loved you as much as I could in my own clumsy way. I will forever miss being your babe, your wild child, your game, your... whatever you want to call me. But time passes and things change, and for me now you are a new person, someone I loved but lost touch with, some time ago. In fact, the main point of our struggle is so clear once we put our past aside. I no longer recognise you and neither do you, we grew up as strangers in each other's eyes, only now I see it. If we had met today we wouldn't have even spoken to each other, because we are incompatible: I am no longer the girl I used to be, and you are no longer the boy I liked so much. We only keep this kind of relationship together out of melancholy, but neither of us really wants to pursue it. Every time it's a war to prove a non-existent point to the other, but we really have nothing to say to each other anymore. It may sound sad, but it is the truth. Let's be bold and end it here, before we curse our memories too. It's time to part, you're right ” you wrap, sustaining his gaze throughout that very long minute before his mobile phone starts ringing again and Imayoshi’s name appears on the screen.

"Farewell, Daiki" you smile at him, closing the door behind you.

[animeomegas]

Omega!Sasuke - Domestic headcanons

Anon: I love your omega sasuke writings!! Their sooo cutee!Could I ask for fluffy domestic headcannons with omega sasuke and his mate pleeasee!

(Thank you so much! My omega!Sasuke writings have become something of a feature of this blog heehee. This ask is the oldest one I have, so I apologise for the wait <3<3 Enjoy)

Warnings: None.

Sasuke is not the most domestically skilled (although he’s not bad either), but he is definitely a homebody.

Sasuke is just the happiest when he’s at home. There’s no pressure, no judgement, no expectation, and for those reasons, it’s his favourite place to be.

And to share that space with someone he loves and cherishes makes him very happy. 

I want to write this by taking a look at a perfect day at home when neither Sasuke nor his mate has to work. 

Morning

Sasuke has always been an early riser. Never in his life has he been able to sleep in. Whether it was following his brother around, training, nightmares, or missions, Sasuke considers 7:30 am a lie in. Most people disagree with him. 

But something that has changed compared to all those times, is that now he likes to spend a few extra minutes in bed, taking in his alpha’s scent, and revelling in the warmth of another person. (He also sometimes leaves a few kisses on his alpha’s face but will deny it if he’s caught.)

Sasuke gets out of bed, gets dressed and goes downstairs silently. He always makes a pot of tea. 

Sasuke finds a great interest in tea as he gets older. He enjoys finding rare blends and brings back tea whenever he goes travelling. 

He sits and enjoys his tea on the porch in the peace and quiet of the early morning.

When he’s done, he waters the plants in your garden, mainly tomato plants.

He had started a small tomato garden after prompting from you and his therapist. Sasuke thought it was stupid, but you convinced him to give it a shot. After experiencing so much death, curating life was like a breath of fresh air. 

As an introvert, Sasuke enjoys spending this time by himself in the mornings.

When he’s done, he heads back into the kitchen and starts to cook breakfast for the both of you. 

And he can never keep the smile off his face when he feels your arms snake around his waist.

“Morning,” you whispered, leaning you head on Sasuke’s shoulder and watching him fry some fish. 

“Morning.”

“Did you sleep okay?” 

Sasuke hummed in the positive as you started to place kisses on his neck. You buried your face into his neck and took a deep breath. Sasuke huffed and pushed your face away.

“Go be useful and lay the table.”

You laughed and pulled away from him to do as you were asked, but not before giving him a slap on the behind. Sasuke rolled his eyes at your behaviour and swatted you away.  

Sasuke is the sort of cook who is very good at cooking a small collection of meals and as such, tends to lean towards traditional meals, the kind his mother used to make for him. For breakfast, he always makes fish, rice and miso soup.

You both always eat breakfast at your dining table. If you ever suggest eating it in bed or on the sofa, Sasuke will judge you heavily. He’s a dining room table only kind of guy.

Sasuke is very traditional in a lot of ways, and his mother and father always taught him that meals were eaten at a table.

 Afternoon:

The afternoon, the perfect time for errands and cleaning. According to Sasuke, anyway.  

As long as he doesn’t bump into anyone he knows, he actually finds running errands pretty relaxing.

Unfortunately, he almost always bumps into someone he knows, so you’re on errand duty, and Sasuke will stay safe inside his own house and clean.

He gives you a list of things to pick up. The list is very extensive and specific. And Sasuke will be grumpy if you buy the wrong kind of thing.

While Sasuke doesn’t have the largest repertoire of meals he can cook, he’s very good at cleaning.

He likes to keep a minimalist, traditional style, very similar to the style of the house he grew up in. This style only works with a tidy and clean house.

Sasuke gets stressed if his home space is messy, so he tidies and cleans every day unless he’s on a mission.

If he is on a mission and the house isn’t at least mostly clean when he gets back, he gets salty about it.

 “Sasuke!” you called out. “I’m back, can you help me with the bags?”

 He immediately shunshined next to you.

 You swore in surprise, dropping the bags that you had cradled in your arms.

 Sasuke was unperturbed, catching them smoothly with a muttered, “Don’t drop the bags,” before sweeping them into the kitchens.

 You stared after him from a moment.

 “’Don’t drop the bags’,” you mocked him under your breath.

 “I heard that.”

 You ignored him, walking into the perfectly clean kitchen. He managed to clean everything before you were done shopping? You shook your head in disbelief. Before you lived together, you would never have pegged Sasuke as the neat freak type, but he absolutely was. You can still remember the horror on his face when you spilled wine all over the tatami mats in your bedroom. You laughed lightly at the memory.

 “Did you pick up the aubergines?” Sasuke asked, rifling through the bags.

 “Yes, of course.”

 “And the green tea?”

 You huffed out a laugh and rolled your eyes.

 “I got everything you put on the list, Sasuke, I promise,” you put your hands on his shoulders, leaning down to kiss him to shut up his nagging.

 Sasuke sighed quietly into the kiss, bring his arms up to wrap around your waist.  Eventually, you broke the kiss, but continued to rest your forehead against Sasuke’s.

 “The house looks amazing by the way, thanks for cleaning it,” you whispered.

 “If it was up to you, we’d live in squalor, so someone has to do it,” he grumbled, trying to cover up the pleased blush covering his face at your compliment.

 You just shook your head, leaning down to steal another kiss from your grumpy husband.

 Evening:

Evenings with Sasuke are very calm.

He enjoys an evening of coexisting while working on different tasks.

Maybe you’re sewing something and Sasuke is reading a book, his head on your lap.

Or perhaps you decide to do some writing while Sasuke gets some work done, shoulder brushing together.

He’s not one for talking, but casual physical affection with his alpha is something Sasuke loves.

Evenings like this after long missions, Sasuke often falls asleep on your shoulder, leaning instinctively into the warmth and comforting smell.

If he’s in a good mood, sometimes you can hear a few purrs escape, which is the cutest thing ever of course.

Sasuke’s purr is very quiet generally, but it’s a lovely sound. Every time he does it, it just fills you with a warm feeling.

Peaceful coexistence really it Sasuke’s bread and butter.

 You sat as still as possible on the sofa, supressing a smile as you felt Sasuke’s head get heavier and heavier on your shoulder. He was falling asleep.

 When you had first met, he wouldn’t have trusted you to tell him the time correctly, but now? Now, simply being in your presence put him at ease enough that he simply fell asleep.

 You turned ever so slightly to press a gentle kiss to his head. His hair was still slightly damp from his bath. He smelt clean and a little sweeter than normal. Sasuke had tried out a new shampoo when the shop had run out of his favourite one. You made a note to tell him that you preferred this one; it mingled much better with his natural scent.

 You looked out the window briefly, noting how dark it had become. You had to get yourself and Sasuke into bed soon, but you just didn’t have the heart to wake him up.

 The silence was suddenly broken by a quiet purring sound.

 Sasuke was purring into your neck.

 Well, now you definitely couldn’t wake him up.

 You could feel the vibrations from Sasuke’s chest on your arms, while his steady breathing tickled the hairs on your neck. You sighed in resignation. Guess you were stuck here for a little longer, not that you were complaining, of course.

 You grabbed a book from the side table to entertain yourself while Sasuke slept peacefully on your shoulder. Peaceful rest didn’t come often for Sasuke, so you weren’t going to be the one to ruin it.

[littlefireofhestia]

hi! i'm sage and i was going through the "hestia devotee" tag and found a post of yours that said you were open for questions about her. i don't know how old that post is or if you're still taking questions, you can ignore this if you're not, but since i'm here i wanted to talk/ask about something.

i'm a baby witch (like the babiest of babies, almost a new born) and most of my experience is through reading and watching since i don't currently have time or resources to do any practice other than lighting incenses or candles or working with crystals. and i definitely don't know any form of divination, like tarot or pendulum, that would allow me to do actual deity work and properly communicate with them.

the thing is, i've researched deities from multiple pantheons multiple times, mostly out of curiosity, but the moment i came across a prayer to hestia my heart skipped a beat and i immediately felt a kind of comfort. it could have been nothing, but i still researched all i could about her and just. i've never felt this drawn to a deity before, much less felt a pull to actually worship one. but i feel very much that way about her.

i looked up ways to honour her and i'm genuinely shocked at how happy it's been making me. i'm finding joy in domestic activities i used to loathe, like washing the dishes or helping with house cleaning. i tried baking a cake all by myself for the first time and lit an orange candle for her while doing it. it turned out absolutely delicious, i discovered i actually really enjoy baking and even started my own cook notebook with some of my grandma's old recipes. i make a point to always tie my hair back when i'm doing something that makes me think of her or in her honour, like making tea or baking or making dinner for my family or cleaning, because i saw people talking about how she appreciates veiling but i don't know how to do it so i just tie my hair in a bun instead of putting on a scarf. and i used to hate tying my hair, but now i feel very good about it!

i've always struggled with feeling connected to religion and never really understood how that could bring peace to someone, but i haven't felt this grounded or loving towards my family and pets or in peace with myself as much as i have since i started doing things as acts of devotion to hestia.

now, on to the actual problem: i'm scared it's all in my head. i'm worried i'm not enough of a witch to worship a deity yet, since i'm still trying to learn ways of communication and can't directly ask her if she's with me. i'm scared that the little things i'm doing aren't enough and the comfort and faith i feel while doing them are my imagination and not actually her watching over me and appreciating my effort.

anyways, i'm really sorry for dumping these worries on you but i didn't see many hestia related blogs and i really needed to ask someone about this. is what i'm doing enough of a worship right now? do you have any tips on how to worship her better? thank you!

Hi Sage! I don’t know when you sent this ask so I’m sorry if it’s been a while since you sent it and my response is late. When I read this ask for the first time I nearly cried tears of joy. Before anything I do want to say that you’re doing amazing sweetie!

I’m always open to questions about Hestia.

First off, there is no prerequisite to worshipping deities. I am admittedly not a witch and worship the gods exclusively for religious reasons and not for witchcraft. I have not learned many divination methods yet (although I have used the very handy Greek Alphabet Oracle a few times) and my rituals are still relatively basic, mostly not even occurring on an altar. But I have felt Hestia. I have been in her presence. I have received dreams from other deities and signs. None of this is required to happen to believe in or worship the theoi, but I just want to assure you that beyond doing some research to figure out who you want to pray to and how to do prayer and ritual, there are no prerequisites to worship. My first prayer to Hestia was literally me throwing a scarf over my head and talking to her in the dark with a flashlight to represent a flame. No formal structure. Didn’t even know how to correctly hold my hands yet. And still she accepted me.

The vibe you get from Hestia is very much similar to my experience. I’ve been drawn to her for YEARS but didn’t know I could worship her. But she’s always felt like home and comfort and just right for me. I never ever had a reason why she was my favorite deity before becoming pagan. She just was. My connection to Hestia has been a fact for over a decade that I just didn’t know was religious until a year and a half ago. Me wondering if I could worship her is the reason why I started researching Hellenic Polytheism in the first place. She brought me to this faith and I am so thankful to her for that.

You finding joy in domestic activities you used to hate is something I’ve discovered through Hestia too, although it’s still a journey I’m early on due to depression and physical disability and having a lot of work to do on figuring out how to make things accessible for me. I’m excited to go further for and with Hestia.

I understand the thought about it being all in your head. I had those thoughts early in my practice too. Basically, belief is a process. It takes time to switch from whatever religious thought (or lack thereof) that you grew up with to polytheism and worshipping a variety of deities or even just one deity, and from there to truly believing in them. I’ve been practicing for a year and a half and it probably took me at least nine months to truly feel secure in my faith in the theoi. Research, pray, do ritual, devote acts to the gods, think about the gods, notice the influence of the theoi in your daily life, and gradually that belief will solidify. You may or may not receive signs, which may or may not speed this process up. I promise, if you want to believe in the gods, in Hestia, it just takes time.

Also on feeling that you aren’t doing enough, the video at the bottom of this post (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhRRYqQo8Y) might help. And I promise: you are doing enough, you are enough, just as you are.

Now as for worship tips. You are honestly doing great so far. Thinking of her while doing household chores and tasks or dedicating those tasks for her is a great way to worship her. I’d also recommend checking out her Homeric and Orphic hymns, one translation of which can be found here, and a copy of the Homeric hymns can likely be found at a local bookstore or definitely through online ordering. The Homeric hymns can also start to teach you some stuff about prayer structure, but prayer doesn’t have to be formal. Sometimes I just sit and talk to Hestia, or to any of my other deities. Tell them about my day, thank them for things in my life or the world, and sometimes asking them for things (although I find that I ask for aid much more rarely than when I prayed as the Catholic I was raised to be). I also have perpetually in progress playlists I have made for my deities, and if I want to spend some non-ritual time just focusing on a deity I’ll put on their playlist and read something religious or talk in religious discords. I actually had my most profound spiritual experience with Hestia while doing this.

Last but not least, worshipping Hestia, or any other deity, is something you have your whole life ahead of you to do. Take it at your own pace. Faith is all about the journey. The destination is irrelevant. There is no deadline or leveling up system, no authority checking your progress. As I have experienced time and time again, the gods will very much meet you where you are. A few months ago I was in a deep depression and did not do any ritual for several months. When I finally did a ritual again, I felt Hestia’s warm hand on my shoulder, as if to say “I miss you, welcome home”. I promise, Hestia will always welcome you home.

P.S. I know this ask is anonymous but Sage, feel free to message me with any additional questions about Hestia or worshipping deities in general. I’m here if you need any more help.