#anyway i still love renee so much she's amazing and deserves more development

[cangrellesteponme]

so I finished reading the king's men. that was not a good book. and not a good series. I loved it so much.

[sitpwgs]

Hi! How are you? Are you feeling any better? I hope so. I'm mostly fine..it's just a few things from last month kinda carried over to this month and it's more an ongoing thing so that's why. It will be most likely the rest of the month so i'm just letting you know if I don't reply. You can still share your book or regular goals for the year though.

Ya I decided to wait until I watch the movie since I think that's the best way to judge it anyway. I think the premiere was last the other night and I saw a few people say they liked it. Maybe they knew it was a musical already or maybe they didn't, but I'm sure I'm going to like it anyway. I think someone said the girl playing Cady..i forgot her name, was the weakest part in the movie and also she couldn't sing the best so maybe that's why. I find the song pretty meh as a song but I agree about the character development and also haven't heard it in a while. I feel like they are just trying to give it a more modern or realistic high school vibe than the original movie lol so maybe it can be totally different and it's own thing too..even from the original musical. I think Renee will be the standout. I like Not My Fault, but I don't think it's in the movie or anything.

I'm pretty excited for it! I always like her writing and I'm thinking those will be my favorites too since I haven't read People We Meet or Happy Place for a while. That's good to know..I also technically never finished New Girl but I do like it a lot. I am the worst with finishing things clearly lol. Oh okay..I might read a snippet of the Starless Sea soon and I'll tell you if I like it but I'm sure I will. I was wondering why you weren't putting ratings in your reading updates but it's fine if you don't want to. I don't think I will be able to finish any books this month but that just means I'll have to read more than two a different month to reach my goal.

Brand New Eyes is so good! I'm glad you liked it. But it makes sense to take a break to listen to Fall Out Boy. I actually haven't ever listened to all of their songs and albums so if you do, tell me if I should. I am familiar with the Maine and they had an album in August last year so maybe listen to that. I enjoyed it and am pretty familiar with their last few albums mostly. My favorite song by them is called Black Butterflies and Deja Vu. I forgot the other openers. When is your show? I think they do something similar to Taylor and perform a different song every night which makes it fun. I hope you have a great time! I know that might have been a lot so there's no pressure to listen to everything and especially if you don't like something. I can also always give my favorite song recs to start with when you're ready. Call your mom was one of my songs of the year.

So Taylor showed up to the Golden Globes and looked so amazing! I looooved her dress so much! I'm pretty sure i am making it my new lockscreen on my phone haha..something for the new year. She never really wears green or that bright color and it's my favorite. Recently I can only think of the green folklore dress which I also love. At first I thought of green for debut but then everyone was saying green is rep..like a snake duh. I don't really read into outfit theories as much but it made me notice both rerecordings can be green apparently..but Rep is black and debut can also be blue so idk. Unfortunately she didn't win..but I thought Barbie deserved it also. So far, Barbie is the only oscar movie I have seen actually. I will probably watch Saltburn soon though. I also really wanna finish the Bear, which won and the actors won their categories. . Emma Stone also looked amazing and she won her category too, but I haven't watched the movie yet. Unfortunately, we did not get another pic of my queens..but Emma got asked a question about Taylors standing ovation for her and jokingly called her an asshole lol..I just love them so much. She was also there with Selena.

Ooh I really enjoyed Troye's album but do not know any of the stories. I wonder how he explained them since to me the album seems more like a vibe. I think it's interesting you say that though cuz that is exactly how Taylor describes Midnights..as 13 stories throughout my life. So idk if you mean more like that or more like Folklore. I'm not sure Midnights was totally that and it's more like a feeling, and that's how Folklore is to me too. Actually, I think Evermore has more songs that seem like stories than Folklore, and I don't know if I always like that when listening the first time lol. Like it seems like it comes from nowhere almost at first for some reason. It's hard cuz before I always liked hearing about her life, but maybe I would prefer a mix..which I think Folklore mostly is. I do think her next album will be more about her life though after this year she had and I think everyone will want to hear it lol. But we also don't know how it will be either. I do know what you mean and also miss Taylor talking about the music.

So I forgot to mention that a lyric from Electric Touch could be my resolution..just breathe, just relax..it'll be okay lol. I also noticed I see many similarities with Taylor and Paramores albums too. All we know is debut, Riot was their Fearless...they were both nominated for Best New Artist at those Grammys where they met! Brand New Eyes and Speak Now are similar to me or I just played them around the same time. I used to think the instrumental of All I wanted and If This was a Movie is sooo similar with the sound of the guitar and still do. That was before she put it on Fearless and took out most of the guitar though. It's one of the few rerecordings I hear a noticeable difference cuz of that. Paramore, also a self titled album..haha, but it matches with Red. After Laughter has an 80s sound and more poppy like 1989. When I first heard This is Why..it also reminded me of rep..cuz all the loud media/the world songs are near the beginning but then gets softer as it goes on. Hayleys solo albums match up with Folklore and Evermore but I can't really choose which is which. Also I forgot to say that back in 2021, Mr Perfectly Fine and Shy Away from top was released the same day which was a big deal cuz we weren't expecting it. like Taylor released the song on a Wednesday when she would never do that and usually alternative singles release on a Wednesday. I am hoping something like that happens again haha. Anyway for top I forgot to mention that their songs have to do with mental health, especially their older music, just so you're aware and could be another reason I like them so much. I became a fan with the Vessel album in 2012 though. Have a great week! 🩷

hello friend!!! i'm feeling much better, thank you for asking 🥺 🤍 answering under the cut because this got long xx

i'm trying to take things slower book wise, and focus more on quality over quantity / not getting overwhelmed with committed books (arcs/gifted reads) to the point where i'm not having fun reading anymore (which is what happened last year)! those are really the big goals, but i'm also just really trying to read things i already have access to (arcs, gifted reads i've let pile up for far too long, my physical tbr, etc). i do have a numerical goal (100) but i'll adjust it as needed throughout the year! and i didn't realize someone would notice i edited my reading tracker — i ended up changing my reading tracker on tumblr because i always end up adjusting the star ratings after — sometimes i'll update the tracker and then i'll go wait ... i feel like that book wasn't as good as i thought it was or i'll be like "i have not been able to stop thinking about this book, it's definitely more of a four or five star", so i figured i'd just do dates that i read a particular book instead! i hope you like your reads; keep me posted!!!

a friend of mine saw the mean girls movie last night, and so they told me their thoughts on it — i probably won't see it anytime soon, but i did spend a bit of time last night relistening to the cast recording and i forgot that i genuinely do like the score! i wish it was wittier, or even like ... better (?) like legally blonde, but i do enjoy it a lot. i've been in a musical theatre mood in the last 2 days; i've been listening to hadestown off-broadway, mean girls, amelie, alice by heart, spring awakening, and then just my favorites playlist on repeat. i also listened to the shucked cast recording today, which was my album of the day! and yes, definitely think that renee will be the standout for the mean girls movie musical, although have also been hearing really good things about auli'i, and jaquel too!

i listened to this is why again, and i think after laughter is still my favorite of the paramore albums (which apparently is not a surprise — i asked a few of my friends who love paramore what they thought my favorite album would be and they were all like "after laughter, hands down", which i found funny). i hope you saw my post about the new paramore song too! my concert is march 1st! so i have some time, but it'll take me a couple listens to actually memorize lyrics, so i should reallllly get on it! ugh call your mom is so good; i just love noah kahan. i can't wait to see what he has next in store; it looks like he's been teasing another collab (i think it's with sam fender), and i'd love to see him collab with maisie or olivia too!

taylor's been wearing a lot of green lately! i did see a lot of theories about green / reputation — especially with the snake print boots she wore yesterday, so i'm assuming rep is next! i hope you like the bear; i really loved it! and i was surprised barbie didn't win anything, although i haven't seen most of the other movies, so maybe i'm just saying things haha!

i think a mix between folklore, evermore, and midnights in concept would be cool? i always forget that midnights is "13 sleepness nights", but would also just like to see taylor write more fictional/storytelling things! i was thinking about how detached i feel from taylor for many reasons lately, but also just because i'm someone who loves to go down a rabbit hole and read as much about someone's creative process as i can. i really really wish that we'd gotten more insights about the inner-workings of the eras tour; the choreography, the staging, the set, how they came up with the projections, the lighting, etc. and i think i feel that way about a lot of her projects post-folklore (including the rerecordings).

i appreciate the warning for TOP! and your similarities are always so fun to read about! here's a little text that i sent to my friend about after laughter — so i definitely agree with you with the 1989 vibes haha. i still haven't listened to hayley's solo albums, but will do so soooooon !!

hope you're having a good week! have a good weekend 🤍

[siobhanroygirl]

finished ugly betty tonight i am completely normal and not in need of psychological help rn

thoughts under the cut

i am obviously so sad that everything was so rushed— the final episode felt like it could’ve been 10 episodes by betty standards AND I SOOOO wish it was. the betty and daniel slow romantic development would’ve been absolutely amazing to watch and its such a shame we never will get to see it, plus i think willie going back to connor was stupid and also no closure on tyler and clare BUUUUT that being said. despite it being horrifyingly rushed i literally think its the perfect ending

amanda reconciliation with her adoptive parents, finding her real dad, becoming a stylist and going single and ditching emotionally unavailable men (sidenote if we get a revival she should kiss more women)

marc getting an important promotion, dealing with the trauma of being rejected and abandoned by his mother for his sexuality, healing his inner child through justin and finding love-ish and recognizing his flaws

willie getting mode AS SHE FUCKING DESERVES!!!!! redemption arc, and she has marc by her side and everything is right❣️ wish we couldve seen a reconciliation with nico and renee though

hilda married and moving away from home finally! coming completely full circle from season 1 and losing santos. also wish we could see her working again maybe (i dont think we even know what bobby does for a living 😭)

justin having his times respected and understood, finding support in his family and marc. i love him so bad

ignacio happy and finally seeing his girls grown up and leaving home ❣️ i loved loved loved how he compared his journey as an immigrant and betty’s. this man is on the top 3 fictional fathers ever im sooo serious

daniel !!!!!! leaving mode !!!!! forgiving his mother, leaving behind stupid flings and trying to build his life on something HE worked on, changing completely from season 1, following betty, his heart. betty who saw everything that was wrong with him and still decided to stay and see the good 😭😭😭😭 then daniel calling her the sun, admiring her while also admitting he’s intimidated by her, protecting her, complimenting her, being a complete ass and realizing it AND CHANGING IT for her. realizing the way to love her is to let her go but not being able to look at her while doing it bc he cant if he does 😭😭😭😭 and then moving across the world to see her, going from boss to assistant with her who has changed him fundamentally and shown him what true love is i could actually die sorry the heterosexuals got me so bad with these two

betty following her dreams!!!!!!!!!!! betty working on something she’s truly passionate about!!!!!!! choosing what SHE WANTS INSTEAD OF TAKING CARE OF PEOPLE LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES!!!! putting herself first!!!!!! being her own boss, standing up for herself, no more prioritizing others. leaving henry symbolizing that the old betty is gone, she loves who she was and she needed her to become this betty, but she’s different now. finding daniel when she’s changed but still the same in a way, still a spot in her heart for him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 she will always have him back and she missed him 😭😭😭😭 she needs a new assistant 😭😭😭 IM GONNA KILL MYSELF

daniel and betty together in london as completely different people and in completely opposite positions from season 1 but still gravitating towards each other, reaching and finding each other in the midst of all this change because they know each other more than they know themselves like im sorry they are soulmates oh my god [dies a thousand deaths]

anyway i love this show so damn much jesus. with like 7 more episodes this ending could’ve developed so beautifully but im fr happy with how things turned out? ofc somethings i’d change like daniel burning the resignation form and calling her an “investment” (kind of makes sense in the context of the episode/arc because it was all about regressing to oldselves before changing but damn we didnt even get a proper apology from him, again probably for time reasons), but yeah in terms of where the characters should be @ this was honestly ideal to me.

i love this silly little problematic ass show and i never wanted it to end. betty is so dear to me and i will always carry her around inside of me my entire life, her bond with daniel is so special, wilhelmina is my queen and i live to serve her, marc and amanda are like my entire inner monologue at this point. ugly betty in general is so special to me and i never thought i would become so horribly attached to it. it was problematic as hell a lot of the times and handled others with so much love and care. it has so much heart. so, so much heart. i’ll love this show forever

[noahstayed]

Sorry if you've already answered these questions but I still want to ask them so...

1) Are you going to make another book after Earthshine?

(If the answer is yes; (and you don't have to answer this one,) Are you going to do a time skip or will you go the 'the condom broke'?)

2) Will Edward have a mate (If yes; will you create an OC or simply pluck a character from the twilight saga archives are revamp them?)

3) If you do make a version of Breaking Dawn, will it have the same premise (Ie. Wedding, Honeymoon, (I typed hUMANmoon and then corrected it, don't know why my fingers went there.) surprise pregnancy (or not? Because Carlisle is a DOCTOR) turning, then the Volturi going all "We must kill the child!"?)

4) With regards to question three, in the (honestly, and sadly, unlikely) ( completely forgot what word I was going to type, and It as too much trouble to type that so I'm just going to use another word that won't flow as well) situation (I'm so unhappy with this word, my stomach is turning something fierce, man.) that you DO go the standard "with the other book as a very, very, loose guideline) Would you go the route of OYH or would make an entirely new plot?

Also, if you do go with the same general outline, (which is unlikely since Irina isn't with Laurant in newmoon but with Charlie, so there's no bitter feelings and she won't immediately go to the kings before she's heard Carlisle's explanation.) How would you make that work?

5) I know you said that if you do make a fourth book you would just use the dhampire from OYH, Elisha, does that still reign true? Or are you planning to make a new character entirely?

6) If you do make a fourth, and go the OYH route, would you still make Elisha Emse's mate, like in OYH? Or will you go with Garette?

7) Also, since you have previously made an ff about Garette and Bella having a brother-sister type friendship would we see that and get to see Garette claim her as his sister and charlie as his father, and everyone goes along with it? (Honestly, I REALLY want this to happen, especially since I've spent the last hour scrolling through your tumbler and stumbled upon the 'I'm older than my father' post.)

8) Really, all these questions border on the main one of "is there going to be a breaking dawn/part 4-5 (depending) in your rewrite?" but if you do, would Carlisle buy Isle Bella as a honeymoon present of would that be in the oneshots book (that you'll hopefully be writing after this is over) as like a "Have fifteenth anniversary" thing?

9) Are you going to write a book full of random one-shots you couldn't fit into your story? I REALLY HOPE SO.

enthusiastically hope so. :) (that's really a tense smile with eyes SHINING with hope. Just informing you that you'll be crushing my heart. Brutally. With a stake. No pressure :) )

10) If you don't write the fourth book will we get an epilogue with the wedding five years later? Like, with Bella being SUPER nervous?

And finally, 11) (I really want a war to showcase Bella's awesome vampire powers (because you've stated (in a previous Tumblr post) that you'd give Bella her BAMF!Bella OYH powers)) So if there's a part four, even though the Volturi is "lawful" and like, has a brain, in your series, can they like have a brain fart where they go. "He's making an army," Or just straight up CANNON!Aro with his need for power be like "It's an immortal child, and it needs to be destroyed." But really be thinking, "They're growing too large, already their numbers rival our own, they must be put down! This is the perfect time!" Like the (cowardly) power-hungry and villainess we all know and love. Kinda.

I have other questions but those can really wait lol.

I basically want breaking dawn and the third (Do you count Charlie's book as part of Bella's story or as a stand-alone since you weren't really progressing the plot very much (also a very good way to have a time skip in your main)?) isn't even done yet.

I don't know if you can tell, but I've been reading this series for three days straight (new fan!) and just started your OYH series and I'm just filled with a desire right now. Like, I typically hate sex scenes in a twilight book (but that's because I was a child when these movies came out (saw them all in theatre!) and still was when I read the books, so Bella is SACRED lol, and It just makes me uncomfortable to imagine her in those positions (it's like a trauma okay?) but I really enjoyed your stories (even if I basically glossed over your sex scenes and read through them quickly) and could actually sit through your sex scenes (mostly, because it wasn't INTENSE! Like, a lot of rewrites turn breaking dawn into literal Porn and sully the books for me because they basically remove a lot of plot to make room for Bella's sudden appetite, and while, yes, you gave her an appetite and... I am just really enjoying your stories and how you write so Thank You.

Okay, I've let you know your appreciated and put out my question into the tumblr universe so now I just have to wait for you to see this and maybe respond.

I hate waiting.

I haven't gotten an ask in a while and AJKHFJKHD Listen!! THE FACE I MADE AT HOW LONG THIS IS??? Superb!! I'm honored you've taken the time to write this all out so I'm gonna try to answer you as best as I can!!

Right now I'm 100% sure that there will be a couple of Novellas/Novelettes directly after Earthshine. The Renee Story, the Charlie Story, and the Roommate Story which all will get maybe 40k and mini plots that are far more focused than Charlie's first story. Charlie's new story will be focused on his relationship with Carlisle too, so that should be fun!

Edward having a Mate is still up in the air at the moment. Since he is still very young, I don't see the need to really give him someone so quick when other characters have waited WAAAY longer. As for who it might be, that's also still up in the air in case I want to do a short story with him that's a part of a series of Novellas after the main books

If I do make a BD rewrite IT WILL have wedding/honeymoon/surprise pregnancy then it will PRETTY MUCH go off the rails from there because the Pregnancy will be VASTLY different. Carlisle is a Doctor and Bella isn't an idiot. They won't be in Washington either.

Again. The first half will be loosely based on the book and then just go completely off the rails because, Like you said, the Volturi have brains and I LOATHE an 'idiot' plot where people are required to suddenly become stupid for the story to work. As for the OYH route, I will be borrowing a couple elements from OYH but the conflict will be very different.

Elisha is baby and there's no way I could make another Dhampir at this point. Not with how much I love him.

The aging process will work differently in this fic for Dhampirs, so this question is irrelevant since Elisha will be a child for the entire fourth book. As for when he's older, Its still up in the air for this series. He deserves to be baby and I very much dislike the trope of age faster = mentally develop faster because that's BS.

We'll see, I love Bella and Garrett, but there's A LOT I'll have to cram into the last book so we'll just see.

As much as I'd love to answer this, I'm covering the honeymoon in the fourth book so you'll see what happens in there ; )

I HAVE PLANS for random one shots. I REALLY DO. I just has so little time to work on the main story so I might write some when Earthshine is done! I have a name for the one-shot collection already too and some Ideas!

I very much plan to write the fourth book you'll be fine. Bella will not be nervous, she'll be WAY more anxious about it going right. Mostly her nerves will be from anticipation and excitement because she'll be 23 and be very secure in her forever with Carlisle.

There will be a fight in book four that will not have the Volturi turning stupid. Don't worry about how.

Charlies little story is a Novella so I don't count it as a book.... GOD hearing you plowed through the series in so short a time is MIND boggling. I get people telling me this occasionally and I NEVER stop being amazed by it!

As for the sex scenes, yeah, I didn't want this to be erotic literature. I frequently scream that 'THIS ISN'T A SMUT BOOK' because them having sex is just a normal healthy thing that happens in relationships and wanted to show that. The sex scenes I write tend to be glossed over anyways so I'm glad it was readable for you. I get feeling frustrated and wanting more plot, but there are plenty of people who prefer the very explicit smut.

If sex scenes aren't your cup of tea, that's fine. I don't view Bella as pure and innocent though. It teeters dangerously on the Madonna/Whore dichotomy to act like she is. I get wanting to preserve the innocence of your childhood through her. That's not me though. Bella/Carlisle's relationship is highly sexual in nature within SoG and that's ALRIGHT too!

Thanks for the super long ask!!! it was great to read and fun to respond to!

[queercbc]

Birds of Prey

I loved it! This movie continues the fun, bright direction for this universe while bringing something entirely new to comic book-based films.

[Spoilers for Birds of Prey below]

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) is FUN. I know literally every review for this film uses that word, but after watching the movie a couple of times that is the word that stays with you through most every scene. Unlike Suicide Squad, BoP keeps all the promises made by the trailer and more. Cathy Yan and Christina Hodson help bring some of the most important characters in comics to life in a pulsating film about orphans overcoming misogyny.

I have waited for this film ever since I first saw Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad.

Suicide Squad failed to translate what made the comic book team so compelling, and insisted on shipping Harley with an abusive psychopath. (I still can’t believe Ayer had Margot Robbie unironically say the line ‘Normal’s just a setting n a dryer.’ Ugh) I remember feeling betrayed when the film ended with her and the Joker riding off into the sunset. Despite all this, Robbie had obviously done her research and was able to bring a charismatic distillation of New 52 Harley to the big screen.

Then, the WB announced that along with their planned Gotham City Sirens film there would be a romantic film about The Joker and Harley, which sounded horrible and cliche. Luckily, Suicide Squad was critically-panned and Wonder Woman was the first clear-cut success for the DCEU (Sorry Snyder diehards.) WW proved that nearly everyone would go to the theater to watch a superhero film that was not only centered around a woman, but was directed by one as well. Ultimately, this film is what happens when R-rated and female-led films are proven to be successful. Yan and Hodson had nothing to prove, but they definitely proved that they could create a team of women who everyone could relate to.

Robbie was able to help convince the studio that the Birds of Prey was the right direction to take the franchise in. This way she could use the notoriety and appeal of Harley Quinn to shine a light on lesser known characters. Through the narration device we have Quinn literally introducing us to lesser known DC characters like Renee Montoya and Cassandra Cain.

Renee Montoya was created for Batman: The Animated Series, just like Harley Quinn. Unlike Harley it took a bit for Montoya’s character to be developed once she was introduced in the comics. In Gotham Central we got to see more of Renee’s life as a queer, Latina woman in law enforcement. Later in 52 we saw her recovering from the trauma of being framed and publicly outed, and then beginning her journey to becoming a vigilante.

In BoP, Renee Montoya is still a badass, queer Latina woman. She has tried to work within the patriarchal, authoritative system for decades but she never got the credit she deserved. We see her journey from hard-drinking tough detective stereotype to member of the Birds of Prey. Rosie Perez is great and it is nice to see a woman that Hollywood might consider old getting to have action set pieces and be just as much a part of the team as the rest of the women. 

Cassandra Cain (the Batgirl everyone forgets) is another character who deserves more recognition. A girl who was raised to be an assassin, but cannot bear to kill another human being. She does not speak and can only communicate through body language.

Cassandra Cain is a completely different character. She is not a trained assassin, she is more a Jason Todd or Mia Dearden analog for Harley: an abandoned child doing what they have to in order to survive. Ella Jay Bosco is fantastic and this interpretation of the character would not work if Bosco’s comedic timing were not as good as it is. She and Robbie bounce off of each other perfectly.

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn is just as incredible as you expect her to be.  She is obviously great with the slapstick comedy that Harley is known for, but the emotion is always there on her face, ready to bubble to the surface. I wish the film focused less on her relationship with the clown, but it does allow Robbie to play with a heartbroken Harley, a woman trying so hard to hide the pain in her life behind a painted smile. (Please stop calling her the female Deadpool, She-Hulk smashed the fourth wall first and better anyway.)

Helena is the woman who is least served by the story, but there isn’t much to her character. I understand that it is part of her that she has no social skills and has been singularly focused since she was a child. If this franchise continues it would be nice to see her grow beyond her need for vengeance. The role really only works because Mary Elizabeth Winstead brings her wry smirk and deadpan performance to the role.

Ewan McGregor and Chris Messina are also excellent in the roles they are given. The characters are obviously queer-coded, being just as campy and fun as the rest of the film, but their role in the film is mostly to personify the toxicity and abuses of power that have hurt these women in the past. 

Dinah is the one of the only characters aside from Harley that gets explored through the narrative and not by the narration alone. Through Montoya we learn that, like in the early comics, Dinah’s mother (presumably Dinah Drake) was a vigilante whose death caused Dinah to lose faith in the kindness of the world. I’ve already discussed Dinah’s difficult journey to the big screen. This Black Canary is a songstress and fighter, we see that Dinah is willing to work for Roman and keep her head down, until she sees women being assaulted. As jaded as she appears she is always ready to throw down to protect those around her, and is ready to open her heart to other people, especially Helena. Jurnee is incredible at delivering emotion one second, and then a great comedic line less than one minute later. Her ability to emote is exceptional, every look Dinah gives is filled with clear emotion and meaning.

The action in this film is also grounded and dynamic. The action scenes are less influenced by previous superhero films, but by John Wick, even going so far as to bring in the film’s director to punch up the fighting sequences. Each woman has their own style, and to praise Robbie once again, she obviously trained and performed many of the Harley choreography.

Birds of Prey is beautiful, fun, powerful and exactly the kind of film DC should be making.

[P.S. I could not stop listening to the amazing soundtrack while writing this.]

[reneereadskingdomofash]

Thoughts on the Ships in Kingdom of Ash

Ok, I’m writing some thoughts on the Ships in Kingdom of Ash. I’ve jumped onto a few posts, but I feel like I’m probably not being clear because well, I talk to people outside of those posts via different channels and so people aren’t getting the full picture. 

Not that this matters of course, the internet and tumblr is only a snapshot, but I wanted to write some clear thoughts on the Ships and how I am feeling about them before/during/and now two weeks after having finished the book. 1. perspectives change. 2. Reading other peoples thoughts that might enhance our own understanding happens too. **SPOILERS BELOW CUT**

Rowaelin

Before Koa: Yes, I dig it. Empire of Storms was their peak love story! Heir of Fire gave me all the Angst - love and hate, falling in love with the trainer, Queen of Shadows gave me my reunion and happiness to fight the bad guys and Empire of Storms gave me the sexy times. The Ship had sailed. Then Maeve came in Empire of Storms. And I was worried for my ship, but only because I was worried for the individual parts of the whole. What happens if they die! What happens if Aelin isn’t who she was. What happens to them! they deserve a happily ever after. *insert renee crying lots at the end of Empire of Storms* 

During Koa: I was scared. Aelin wasn’t who she was. Rowan was loosing himself in the hunt for her. What was this new thing between Fenrys and her and Rowan was on the outs? What did this mean? Why couldn't she talk? Where was my Aelin!!! Aelin had hardened and I was scared, and Rowan was scared and it made me think - she’s going to die and i’m going to cry. Then Aneille happened and Aelin almost came back. She was as close to the old Aelin as I think was possible given the trauma that she went through. Rowan didn’t care. He would have loved her anyway. Such a pure ship. And then they go on to save the world. Once Aelin had forged the lock, I wasn’t scared for her anymore. I didn’t think she might die, I didn’t think Rowan would either. The lock felt like it was the start of their happy ending. Sure lots of stuff to go on but the ship was good. 

After Koa: Same feelings. I still love Rowaelin. But I got to experience their journey over 4 books! It was satisfying in that they had page time but it didn't detract from the story. So When I’m not enthusiastic about Rowaelin - Its not because I don’t love them, I’ve just been with them a long time. There wasn’t any doubt in my mind that they would be ok. 

Elorcan (aka the ship I wanted to sail more than any other)

Before  Koa: I was scared. I feel so hard into this ship when I read Empire of Storms. And then when I re-read it before KoA I fell harder. I loved Lorcan from the start. A grumpy demi-fae, who is the most powerful, who seems angry, who doesn’t show emotions, who would do anything for his friends. (sure misguided sometimes - but that’s what it boils down to). He came to Rowan’s aid in Heir of Fire. He came for his friend. Not his general. He didn’t have time for Aelin - some mortal girl who people had an interest in. It wasn’t why he came. People who know me - know I have been cheering for Lorcan the past two years. That he’s going to show this side of himself. My morally grey Lorcan. And then Queen of Shadows and Empire of Storms happened. Oh man. Elide, my witch baby standing up for those who cant do it for themselves! She took on Vernon for Kaltain, she is bad-ass! She is the my love just as Lorcan is my love. I’m so torn I love them both. Its a good thing they found each other. Anyway. Elide stands up to him, she fights for herself and others. She protects him and he does the same back. So I love them. Elide threw herself in front of a wolf (Fenrys to save him!) And When Lorcan called for Maeve - my heart sank. Lorcan u big Dummy! I love you but come on! And then the theories started. and I wrote some too. Maybe if I think of the worst possible thing that can happen and put it out into the world it wont happen. Like jinxing the bad stuff. Lorcan “SALVATERRE” savior of lands- does that mean he will sacrifice himself??? Honestly my biggest fear going in. 

During  Koa: Kingdom of Ash was a roller-coaster for my ship. I was so invested in everything they did. I paid way too much attention to their sections than other ships. - honestly I skim read nestaq scenes (who I love). which is bad I know. but elorcan for life apparently.  And Lorcan was being sneaky and trying to help Elide be comfortable (sure more period talk but what ever) because he had been traveling with her for months and months and knew she needed stuff. He shows love by doing. Not always doing the right thing (his decision making skills need work) - but he tries. Elide was a bitch at the start. Just going to say it. Sure she might have been justified, but sometimes you don’t need to voice all the nasty things in your head. And I got mad at her. Then she basically said she wouldn’t care if Lorcan died. And his heart broke and my heart broke and I was upset and probably crying.  AND THEN THE BATTLE OF ANEILLE HAPPENED AND I CRIED!!! AND I SCREAMED AT MY BOOK. Direct quote from my notes: “ P500 - NOT HAPPY! Lorcan!!!! OMG NOT HAPPY! LORCAN JUST DROPPED HIS SHEILDS - fucking egg! Omg ahhh! Crap. Crap crap.”  I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have dropped his shields if Elide hadn’t said such horrible things to him and he didn’t feel like he needed to die. So I was mad, fucking live you dork. Its just a girl! I ship you two, but if You are both going to be Dorks then I don’t!  So when Elide went to go find him I was like - OMG YES U DO LOVE HIM... direct quote from my notes:  “ I'm crying .... Elide- "I will always find you", running down the stairs... oh it hurts.... please please be ok ....  Ahhh she grabbed chaols horse! A horse for Hellas himself... ahh Lol and then that's explained a couple of pages over Lorcan!!!(517) "Get up" :sobbing emojis: "I promised to always find you. I promised you, and you promised me. I came for you because of it; I am here because of it. I am here for you, do you understand? And if we don't get onto that horse now, we won't stand a chance against that dam. We will die." P 520 :more sobbing emojis: Omg :more sobbing emojis: You have to let me go I love you And I will be with you.... I will be with you always :more sobbing emojis: Lorcan Omg Fucking hell And elide! Yes! You claw at him girl!! That dam! Oof Omg my ship - you are killing me “

Honestly. Such a Rollercoaster. So as you can see I was invested. and then they seemed to tentatively get over each other and what happened and proceeded to get cuter and cuter as the book went on and just gave me warm fuzzies and happiness. 

After Koa: I love this ship. I would die for this ship. Fight me! - oh majority of fandom also Like my ship now... cool cool. that’s cool. guess we cool.

Manorian

Before Koa: I dig it. Its alright. Manon eats men for breakfast so Dorian has a little bit of a death wish but I can see that playfulness, that bond from living a similar life. Heirs in name only, for the longest time. I appreciated it, but wasn't strongly invested. I had picked my OTP already. Still enjoy this ship tho - just less invested.

During Koa: I really liked the tentative relationship between Manon and Dorian. I have so many notes about how I think he is a witch tho - so those stand out in my notes more than ship points. I liked that they shared a tent when Manon never did. I liked that Dorian spent time with the 13 developing friendships. It showed that he wanted to know Manon, more than just for sex. But it also cannot be denied that they like sex and used it to avoid talking. That happens in relationships too - not necessarily bad. Its one of the things I actually like about SJM’s ships they aren’t cookie cutter relationships. But I did feel like both Manon and Dorian chose the mission over the relationship (For Now) which is fine too btw. In life we might take a job in a different city and do long distance and still come back to each other. I think Dorian lying to Manon on their last night together by omission is a little sucky. But again. relationships have ups and downs. I’m glad it kinda ended there. Sure they come back together, But I like that its left open. Firstly because they have had the ship burn in flames - their isn’t an “unhappy” ending... the story is still playing out. We just cut away before seeing the end. 

After Koa: Wow ok. So people have lots of thoughts on this ship and maybe I should have been paying attention. Why don’t people like it open ended... ok? maybe its a loose end but there is still a book to come (the world of throne of glass) and sure its not a novel about Aelin. This doesn't mean it wont tell us about the encyclopedic history or Ardarlan and the Witch kingdom and how both are run by people who are seeing each other. A certain boy who knows how to use portals to get from one place to the other quickly - doesn't seem like living on opposite sides on the continent is going to be a problem.... maybe that’s just the optimist in me. If they have children - a girl to rule the wastes and a boy to be king. Seems like an amazing fit. I’d really like to see this happen tbh, but this takes time and time KoA didn’t have in the pages - but - maybe - the world of throne of glass will.  

Chaorian

Before Koa: Ahh cute - they had their love story i’m happy!

During Koa: Damn I love Yrene. Shes the best. Chaol, you are ok too - but Yrene has your back and is the light relief in your life. Chaol you are too serious - listen to your wife.

After Koa: awwww little wittle chaorene babies. awwwwww daddy Chaol. awww  uncle Dorian. <3 <3 so many warm fuzzies.

Nestaq

Before Koa: I ship them so Hard OMG SARTAQ I LOVE YOU. You are a way better fit for Nesryn than Chaol. Man i’m glad she met you. 

During Koa: oof Sartaq why u gotta have a Khagan hat on - you are so serious. Good thing Borte is there. 

After Koa: Nesryn has no idea what she is in for - Can I please get more Yeran and Borte. Still love Nestaq - but I understand the peak of their story was in Tower of Dawn. 

Lysaedion

Before Koa: Oh Man you two. The end of Empire of Storms - Aedion you are a dick! Why! Why! Oh you better just be mad and make it up to her. You love her dang it, you wanted to marry her! Argh. I don’t know how to feel, I like them together - but what is this past Aedion has? What is coming. I don’t want to get my hopes up. 

During Koa: Aedion! Aedion! What! Are! you! doing!

I’m so mad at Aedion right now. You better apologise.

Its so complicated to break down. But basically Aedion is being an A-hole to Lysandra and she doesn’t deserve it. She is running herself into the ground and you do that! Aedion! I’m so conflicted, why are you a good dad to Evangeline but an awful person to Lys! AHHH AEDION STOP! 

After Koa: I still don’t know how to break down this relationship. It sets off so many red flags for me. - About how someone can be a great dad but an awful partner.  - About how someone can be abusive essentially but explain away their actions. - About how other people stand by and watch, when they see this behavior. - About how it is all “circumstances”. 

Now - I think its fine for people to work through things and overcome their problems if they want to but that takes time. What Aedion did in Kingdom of Ash did not make me think he should have been able to win Lysandra back as quickly as he did near the end of the book. And it hurts. However I know people in real life who have gone back to people who have treated them badly. So its not uncommon. It is their decision. It just hurts. 

Part of me wants them to get a divorce and I’ve made a couple of joke-ish statements about that. But I could have been on Lysaedion’s side if it had a similar ending to Manorian. If it was left hanging, left on a - lets see where this goes. War does strange things to people, and I think Aedion was affected more than others, but he needs to prove he isn’t going to be the man who threw Lysandra out into the cold. In my eyes at least. 

I have prob left ships out, and thoughts out but this is a lot of writing for me that’s not counting towards my nanowrimo - hahaha.