#anyway i’m totally normal about… everyone in this game

[archivistinblue]

» you’re a fucking idiot

project hadea by @nyehilismwriting

[voguesriot]

NOBODY’S BUSINESS ✹ luke castellan

part one

( summary ) social media au where luke’s sudden spike in confidence turns a few heads, including the head of your ex who just loves to jump in other people’s business

( pairing ) luke castellan x fem aphrodite counsellor!reader , mentions of ex bf! hephaestus camper x reader

( notes ) this feels a bit rushed bcs i’m sick rn but i hope you guys enjoy anyway!!

♫ American Teenager by Ethel Cain

♡ liked by maxwalsh , silenabeauregard , and others

yourusername proof that percy doesn’t actually hate luke

seaweedbrain hey girlie!!! can you take this down like immediately?? not to sound to mean or anything but i can and will find you 😇

yourusername you’re such a cutie perce

seaweedbrain kys

sarahdawson totally wasn’t held at gunpoint for that last pic guys no need to worry

connorstroll we weren’t worrying but thanks anyway ig

sarahdawson sleep with one eye open.

lukecastellan 2/10 post

yourusername sorry for messing with your tough guy image 😔

lukecastellan actually it only loses points bcs there’s no pics of you

chrisrodriguez WOAHHHHHHH

sarahdawson HIS BALLS FINALLY DROPPED

clarisselarue bit sad to know they weren’t completely crushed after the red team kicked their ass icl

yourusername oh trust they were all whining about it the second i put away the camera

clarisselarue good.

GROUPCHAT — chb’s finest

clarisselarue: y/n what is max doing in your likes…

sarahdawson: HES WHAT

sarahdawson: oh he’s brave

yourusername: IDK HE JUST APPEARED

yourusername: like a bug

seaweedbrain: or a rat

yourusername: that too

lukecastellan: he’s on his way for training with me rn so i’ll go extra hard on him

silenabeauregard: homoerotic subtext goes crazy

yourusername: thanks luke but really you don’t need to do that

yourusername: like i’m over him now and i just want to forget about him altogether

lukecastellan: he deserves a hard time for what he did to you anyway

lukecastellan: you deserve way better than that

lukecastellan: i mean anyone would

seaweedbrain: great save bro

lukecastellan removed seaweedbrain.

sarahdawson: oh you took that one personally

DIRECT MESSAGES

clarisselarue: ok when did you get game

lukecastellan: idk what you’re talking about

clarisselarue: oh please spare me i’ve had to watch you make googoo eyes for the past two years you can’t lie you’re way out of this one

lukecastellan: seriously idk what you’re talking about clarisse

clairsselarue: ok fine whatever but HYPOTHETICALLY if you were to try anything with my girl i want you to know that i approve but trust if you go a toe out of line then you will be dealt with

read.

♫ My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski

♡ liked by drewtanaka, hazellevesque , and others

[ tagged: sarahdawson ]

yourusername you’re the only thing i’ll ever thank a man for

yourusername thanks max

this comment was deleted.

sarahdawson I SAW THAT COMMENT GIRL THAT WAS BRAVE

drewtanaka surprised sar isn’t screaming for photo creds for the second slide

sarahdawson bcs i didn’t take it……..

silenabeauregard WOAH WHAT

pipermclean yourusername hey sis can we have a chat please

yourusername nope i’m doing cabin checks rn #counsellorissues

wisegirll i’m doing cabin checks rn though???

silenabeauregard the plot thickens

lukecastellan glad to see you listened to my advice

yourusername felt bad keeping my beauty from everyone

lukecastellan it was a rough time without it

groverunderwood chrisrodriguez now THESE are moves

chrisrodriguez LOOK AT MY BOY GO gods is this what normal parents feel when their kids go to college

maxwalsh nice earrings

this comment was deleted.

seaweedbrain we all saw that comment right…

clarisselarue yes.

DIRECT MESSAGES

maxwalsh: hey can we please talk

yourusername: no

maxwalsh: please babe cmon you didn’t even hear me out

yourusername: because you tried to kiss sarah you fucking asshole

maxwalsh: no it wasn’t like that you don’t get it

maxwalsh: look can you just meet me by our old spot and i can explain everything

yourusername: no

maxwalsh: babe you’re not acting like yourself

yourusername: bcs it’s not her, she’s asleep rn and she’s not your “babe”

maxwalsh: who tf is this???

yourusername: doesn’t matter

yourusername blocked maxwalsh.

lukecastellan posted to their story!

SARAHDAWSON replied to your story

sarahdawson: WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH SLOW YOUR ROLL WHAT

CLAIRSSELARUE replied to your story

clairsselarue: “idk what you’re talking abt clarisse” oh i hate you so bad

SILENABEAUREGARD replied to your story

silenabeauregard: i’d know that silhouette anywhere…

CHRISRODRIGUEZ replied to your story

chrisrodriguez: i’m a bit hurt i wasn’t told in depth about this before but i’m too proud to pay attention to it GOOD FOR YOU MAN

MAXWALSH replied to your story

maxwalsh: so it was you who had her phone the other day

maxwalsh: wtf man

lukecastellan: womp womp

lukecastellan: you snooze you lose and you lost big time

♫ Nobody’s Business by Rihanna, Chris Brown

♡ liked by jasongrace , racheledare , and others

[ tagged: yourusername ]

lukecastellan and it ain’t what??

yourusername AND IT AIN’T NOBODY’S BUSINESS

clarisselarue ok edward cullen why are you eating her neck like that

silenabeauregard everyone i took the hammock pic thank me please 🙏😇

yourusername thank you beautiful angel

seaweedbrain cute i guess…….

chrisrodriguez I ALWAYS HAD FAITH IN YOU BRO EVEN WHEN EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT YOU WERE A LOSER WITH NO GAME, I STAYED ROOTING FOR YOU

lukecastellan appreciate you bro

lukecastellan wait people said that about me???

wisegirll my favs 😭🫶

yourusername AWE ILY ANNIE

seaweedbrain oh i’m just dirt to you then? chill.

wisegirll you’re so dramatic percy

seaweedbrain oh so mental health matters until I’M the one hurt? cool.

lukecastellan and y’all were saying i had no game

seaweedbrain okay luke see that’s just not funny because your dad literally dances on a revolving stage for a living

lukecastellan had to bring out the dad jokes because you know i’m right?

seaweedbrain why is your old age pension ass beefing with me instead of talking to ur girlfriend… weird behaviour

sarahdawson too cute i fear

sarahdawson but you i must remind you mr castellan, i made it onto her feed first. you will ALWAYS be second to me. always.

drewtanaka anyone else hear weeping from the hephaestus cabin…

leovaldez it’s really depressing

leovaldez i think he just punched a hole in the wall

cbeckendorf he did

pipermclean LMAO WHAT A FUCKING LOSER 😭😭☠️☠️

( taglist ) @perseus-jackass @harrysnovia

[rabesbabe]

I like the way you kiss me pt.2

sam carpenter x reader

i like the way you kiss me pt.1

A/N: Hey guys!! So this is the second part to my newest series! I’ve been trying to decide if this should be the last part or if I should do one more so let me know! Also you guys are able to ask for requests now and i’ll make a page with who I write for!! (Also this fic is not proofread pls excuse my typos lmao)

Summary: You go to a party Mindy and Chad host and “coincidentally” Sam is there…

—————————————————————————

After that day you hadn’t really talked to Sam besides necessary conversations you guys would have to have when you went over to hang out with Tara. Which you seemed to be doing more

and more of recently noticing the two of you actually make a pretty good duo.

One day you were getting smoothies with Tara when you felt like you should tell her about what happened with Sam.

“Tara?” “Hm?” She replied, mouth full of the strawberry banana smoothie she was drinking. “Do you remember how Sam acted when she met me that first time?” You asked looking at her. “Yeah but I told you not to worry about it I swear she’ll get used to you at some point she just isn’t exactly a people person.” Tara shrugged. “No that’s not it,” you sighed. “The day before that, I met Sam at the grocery store and I slid her my number. And that night we talked for like 3 hours before I hung up.”

Tara looked at you confused. “You slipped my sister your number…” you looked down waiting for her to yell at you for talking to her sister. “AND SHE ACTUALLY CALLED YOU?” She smirked at you. “God, I knew you were fine but not fine enough to create a miracle!” You looked up at her almost choking on your smoothie at her words. “That was your takeaway from what I just told you? You’re not mad? Or even sad?” “God no.” She replied “I’m just shocked my sister actually made an attempt at being a normal person. No wonder she acts so weird whenever I mention you. She totally likes you y/n.”

That night you think about Tara’s words a lot. Did her sister actually like you? Whenever you were around her she seemed like she was seconds away from punching you in the face. But, maybe that’s just how she is. She’s not exactly bubbly. You think about the time Tara left the apartment for a bit while you were there to go do something, leaving you and Sam alone. Sam couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. But she also didn’t dare utter a word to you. She always left you confused and wondering what was going on inside her mind.

That week you and Tara went over to Mindy and Chads place. Tara decided to find something cute for you to wear and she did your makeup. You weren’t sure why she was dressing you up so much but you let her anyway as it was fun.

As you arrived at the door Tara fixed your hair up and you gave her a weird look as you were still confused why she was trying so hard to make sure you looked good even though you were just seeing friends. You handed her the wine glass you brought as a gift before knocking on the door. After knocking you hear familiar voice say “I’ll get it.”

To your surprise as the door opens you’re met with a wide eyed Sam looking you up and down. She mumbles a quick “Hi” to you before moving over to let you in. After giving Mindy and Chad hugs you look over at Tara and Sam talking.

“You didn’t tell me you were inviting her Tara.” Sam says. “I didn’t think I needed to Sam? We’re constantly together it should’ve been a given.” Tara says raising an eyebrow at Sam. “Plus why do you care? You’re very clearly enjoying the sight of her.” Tara gives a small smirk to a slightly open mouthed Sam who is clearly shocked her sister caught on to her not so secretly checking out her friend.

As the night goes on the drunker and drunker everyone gets. You guys talk for hours, play games and watch dumb reality tv shows. “Who wants to play a classic game of drink or spill!?” Says a very very drunk Mindy. “What a good idea lil’ sis” exclaims Chad. “You know you’re only a few minutes older right?”

“Can we please start playing before you two get into a fight and ruin all the fun?” Sam says rolling her eyes. You all sit in a circle in their living room waiting for Mindy to ask questions. “Tara,” Mindy says, “how many people in the room would you kiss?” “Oh come on, that one’s easy! Three.” Tara says. “Thank god.” Sam replies letting out a fake sigh while laughing.

“Y/N, sweet, gorgeous, lovely, y/n.” Mindy says in a jokingly sweet voice. “Who in this room would you say no to if they asked you out?” You let out a chuckle, “if it wasn’t obvious before, I’m sorry Chad I’m just not into your uhm…kind?” You give a fake apologetic smile. You make eye contact with Sam who looks at you shocked. Obviously thinking she was going to be the one you would say no to. You give her a small smile before she looks away.

The rest of the night is a drunken blur for you. You can’t help but notice Sam staring at you all night and wonder if you look insanely hot or like a drunk mess. Later on you decide to go find Tara who’s probably making out with Chad somewhere to tell her you guys should head home.

“Tara?” You ask while knocking on Chads room door. “If you and Chad are in there eating each other’s faces please take this as a warning to stop before I walk in.” Suddenly the door opens and you see Sam smiling at your remark.

“Hi, Sam.” You say awkwardly. To your surprise she opens the door more for you to come in. “So my sister and Chad huh?” You nod. Confused as to why she’s talking to you. But then you think about the fact that she drank 5 shots during the game you guys played. She sits down on the bed in the room looking at the floor avoiding your eyes. And you join her. “I’m sorry I’ve been kind of a bitch to you y/n.” “It’s fine I guess?” You say confused as to why she would apologize now. “I really liked you that night we talked Sam. I wish you gave me a chance.” She looked up at you finally making eye contact. She stared at you for a second as if she was thinking about something.

Before you could think more she leaned closer to you, grabbed around your waist and kissed you. Only for a moment but just enough to show you she meant it.

“Im sorry,” She said looking away from you when you didn’t say anything. “That was more than okay Sam.” You smile at her and she kisses you again. This time more passionate and confident.

“Y/n!” Tara’s voice calls out a little before the door to the room bursts open. Tara’s eyes go wide at the sight of you and her sister and she stares for a moment before laughing. You and Sam look at her in bewilderment. “Thank god!! I was so sick of you two undressing each other with your eyes all night.” Sam scoffs at her boldness. “As much as I hate to break this up we need to go y/n we have class tomorrow.” Tara says as if she’s not gonna be insanely hungover the next morning. You stand up and smile at Sam. “Call me?” She says before you walk out. And you nod with a goofy smile plastered on your face.

[kremlin]

i figure most human behaviour that, not only doesn’t occur in other animals but has zero connection to animal behavior is basically distantly rooted in the known fear of inevitable death. let me be clear. cats and shit don’t know they’re gonna die. we do. we have thoughts. we know it’s coming. we think we’re gonna be rich, bullshit like that, most humans believe in magic and most humans doubt that math is a universal or consistent thing. total nonsense right. but everyone knows their ass is gonna die. before you write me off as some dumbass reciting basic 101 level university lectures just Trust Me I’m An Engineer. anyways. being human and dying are somewhat one in the same.

“if i do nonhuman things i can cheat the reaper.” short and sweet. if i can beat zelda faster than anyone i can outrun the reaper. and you know what, fuck it, i’m scared shitless of dying. it’s gonna hurt really bad no doubt. what if the brain destroyal process makes time slow down in my perception and it’s not just like five seconds of bleeding out or fire ant bites or however you go. Scary. so i’ll play along:

i am an average american man and i enjoy bad game runescape. it’s a computer game. MMO. kill monster get loot. sell what i don’t want to other players for gold. spamming chat with “SELLING BOWSTRINGS 200gp” for an hour “sucks” so the devs add a grand exchange where you can post buy/sell orders for a given item+price to maximize gameplay efficiency and minimize social interaction.

like any other MMO you can pay some sketchy website real money for ingame gold farmer by chinese gold farmers. totally against the rules. remember this

so the first thing that comes to any male aged 23-27 mind is “buy low sell high” basic bitch shit. no good. there’s a 5% tax that’ll wipe out your profit margin intended to eliminate this behavior (you’re supposed to friggen kill monsters). but everyone thinks they’re a genius and can beat the system and that there is a secret george soros style illuminati group that is holding the secrets, blah blah blah, whatever, and this comes as a coping mechanism after losing your shirt after trying to beat the market (success rate of 0%).

here is where people mostly quit thinking: if you do the math, which takes about ten minutes and can be done on one side of a sheet of paper with the most basic calculator, it’s easy to figure out that the amount of gold you’d need to play dirty (buy out all the available Feathers or Fire Runes or whatever) in order to corner the market would be so high that there is no possible way for a character to hold that much without having spent IRL money for gold. you’d get autobanned.

SO..finally, go on the ol’ www.reddit.com, and make a really really professional-to-professional sounding post advertising a “service”. Saturate the fuck out of it with dense but very real financial jargon. the “service” (which needs to be obscured enough with plausible and relevant language) is a hedging service aimed at make-believe market players who are buying and selling such huge amounts of items and gold (usually in anticipation of a game update that will speculatively introduce a sudden, dramatic, and capitalizable price change for some item). you need it to be as alien-sounding and foreign as possible but with enough believability and clarity that a handful of reddit jackasses will figure out what the fuck your post is about. whenever pressed further, act totally puzzled and make it very clear that this is not a service relevant to “individual entertainment-motivated” players or some shit. no matter what amount of gold anyone quotes at you, just act puzzled and if that amount is 1/1000th the amount one of your “normal” clients deal with. you need to do all of this extremely artfully. and by “you”, i’ve been meaning to write “me”. really lay it on thick that whatever you’re “doing” is totally unavailable to them and that you want zero to do with them.

so now theyre still mostly totally confused but enough is made clear that their interest is piqued. got my hook in em. some guy will copy/paste wikipedia shit in an obnoxiously long and pseudointellectual, contemptible but characteristically reddit guy style what you’re “selling” actually is in the most exhausting, hand-holdingest way to his fellow reddit gamers. with complete tone of authority.

inevitably one of them will put on their sherlock holmes hat and go deep undercover, emailing me posing as an interested party. bingo. now i get to really lay on the WTF and go off the rails asking about vouchers from One Of The Big Seven, but oh no, you can’t get one of them to vouch for you, that’s fine, it makes sense, we’re the only firm that deals with unvouched, that’s our market, well, one of them at least. Just give me a rough rundown of your entry criteria, dwell time, risk tolerance, fuckin “Gamma Ratio”, you know, all the basic stuff, and i’ll have the team generate a .xlsx for you to plug your data into to get a rough feel for what the final contract might be like.

(lololol) But REMEMBER, that excel sheet is seeded, output is fuzzed and salted and if you share it or try and sell it to our competitors, it will be fuzzy enough to be worthless to them but obvious to us who leaked what. this is the only way we’re able to integrate unvouched clients without untenable premiums and while managing our risk levels

blah blah blah blah, i go on and on and on and the guy on the other end is developing a scab from constant head-scratching. and that’s about the maximum real-world harm i’m willing to inflict. i know this sounds like an elaborate as fuck confidence scam but it isn’t. that shit makes me sick. i’d literally slam my arms in a car door before taking a cent from all this. hell, i’ll go out of my way to guarantee i don’t even piss anyone off or offend them or anything.

your guess is as good as mine but i do stuff like this constantly for anything i know well enough and the example i gave above is just a pretty low quality one i made up on the spot. this is a public blog after all.

anyways, cheers, hoping this saves me from dying or whatever the hell i was talking about before that could have probably been cut out. Namaste. Mahala.

[benedictscanvas]

pick me up at seven - roy kent x reader

pairing: roy kent x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k (they won't all be this long i don't think!!)

warnings: language of course, and this is a little steamy but with no actual smut. my favourite genre HA

request: I can’t find any good Roy fics until your recent one and I’m dying for more 😭 Anyway you could write something else for him? Maybe they’re at a bar and he gets pissed when he sees Jamie flirting w her? (Not a pre established relationship) - @kashee-h

a/n: your wish is my demand!! i'm so happy you enjoyed the first roy fic of what i hope are many to come. this one totally got away from me, i loved writing it so so much, thanks for a request that I really got to make my own! <3

---

Roy is the one who’s invited you here. Roy is the one who trekked over to your office at the end of the working day and told you that everyone was going out that evening. Roy is the one who suggested you come, even when you seemed reluctant to join in on what appeared to be an evening for just the players and the coaches. Roy is the one who convinced you that it would be fun, that he’d make sure of it.

All of this is making it very hard for Roy to accept that you are currently sat in a corner booth with someone else. The fact that the person you seemed to be having such an in depth conversation with was Jamie fucking Tartt was the icing on a very shit cake.

He knew he could be having a better night than just sitting on a barstool trying not to watch the two of you, especially when Ted and Beard arrived to get the next round and he didn’t even acknowledge them. They’d hired out a private room, so it was filled with people he generally tolerated the company, some he’d even go as far as to say that he liked. None of that was registering, however. 

Jamie leans in when you can’t hear something he’s said and he watches you nod solemnly, duck your head to stare at the floor as if flustered, and he wants to walk right out that door and never come back. Maybe he could get a job at Chelsea, or something.

“Now, what’s wrong, Jeremy Strong?” Ted asks, and Roy has to bite back a ‘fuck off’ so hard he wonders if his lip is bleeding, “You look just about ready to start wreckin’ the place.”

Out of the corner of Roy’s eye, he sees Beard lean in to whisper in Ted’s ear and points over at you. Ted looks surprised. Roy does not want to deal with this.

“You’re telling’ me our very own Mr Kent has his eyes on our very own Miss Y/L/N? Well, that’s just great! She’s sweet as anythin’, good for you, Roy.”

“She’s sweet on Jamie fucking Tartt, more like,” he says, even though he knows he’s being so fucking unfair. He hates it about himself. He knows how hard he’s worked on these feelings, on frustration and anger and jealousy, knows that a few years ago he’d be getting ready to fight Jamie down an alley further through tonight. Now he’s done that work, however, he can recognise the overriding feeling that he’s actually just hurt and that’s so much worse. It’s much easier to be jealous than upset.

“Does this call for an impromptu meeting of the Diamond Dogs?” Ted asks brightly and Roy is only able to stop him after his second howl. Higgins has looked over briefly but Beard signals him to stay where he is.

“Fuck no,” Roy blurts out, then reconsiders. Maybe he could at least talk to Ted, “I just- I was going to tell her. Tonight.”

“Tell her what?” Ted’s doing that thing where he bats his eyelashes like he’s in some sort of rom-com. Beard’s got his head resting in his hand, looking similarly up at Roy. They’re insufferable. 

“That I fucking like her, okay? Take those fucking looks off your faces.”

Ted and Beard scramble to look normal but come up short. Ted’s got the awful kind of shit-eating grin on his face that he gets when he sees Sam and Jamie hugging or watches Isaac doing his handshakes with everyone before a game.

“So, you’ve been spending time together? Or are you telling her out of the blue?” Beard pipes up.

Roy thinks that over. You’ve been spending a lot of time together actually. More than anyone at the club would probably even believe. He slips away to your office to eat lunch under the guise of needing a break from the American Circus downstairs. You text him when you’ve brought in ice cream because you know he’ll never say no to ice cream. You’ve met Phoebe. That one was by accident in the park, but you stuck around for four fucking hours and nobody made you.

Still, he wonders whether it would be completely shocking to you or whether you’ve been waiting for him to make a proper move. You’re incredibly difficult to read alongside being so stupidly pretty that sometimes he wants to swear less around you. He doesn’t manage it, of course, but he thinks it.

“Yes, we’ve spent time together. No, I don’t know what that means. Probably doesn’t mean shit to her, not that it would be her fault if she doesn't.”

Ted and Beard tilt their heads simultaneously at him and he wishes he could bash their heads together for a moment.

“But it means somethin’ to you, hey coach? I don’t think Miss Y/N sittin’ with Jamie should stop you from tellin' her how you feel about ‘er, hey coach?”

Roy’s lost track of which coach Ted is even talking to, but Beard chimes in.

“Surely her spending time with Jamie should be all the more incentive to tell her. Find out how she feels. Get that crushing disappointment out of the way now. It’s only downhill from here.”

Roy raises a brow at him as Ted gives him a look. Beard sighs, then picks up his drink and seems to disappear. Ted leans into Roy.

“Him and Jane are on a break again, I’m sorry. Look I’m goin’ to have to go find him but he was right, until he wasn’t. Go get ‘er, Ross Gellar!”

And with that, Ted’s gone too, weaving his way through crowds of people until he’s lost to them. When Roy glances back in your direction, Jamie’s got Colin and Isaac beside him instead and you’re nowhere to be found. He sighs and stands from his barstool, making his way to the exit. Maybe he’d think about what Ted and Beard had said tomorrow: for now, he just wanted to go home.

Except for the fact that when he finally managed to push his way outside to breathe in some fresh air, he found you. Leaning against the wall of the club, with definite tears in your eyes, even under the dim street lamp light. He was going to murder Jamie Tartt, slowly, with rope and paint and suffering involved.

But he knew to take a slightly softer approach with you. If at all possible.

“Hey,” he says quietly, trying not to startle you. You're quick to look up at him, startled anyway, and he grits his teeth as he asks, “Are you alright?”

He doesn’t make any comment about what the fuck Jamie had done to you. Doesn’t think it would be received all that well. Again, he’s biting the inside of his lip harder than ever.

“Yes! Oh god, yes, sorry,” you’re blinking furiously. He admires your resolve when the nearly teary face is quickly replaced by that bright smile that makes him weaker in the knees than he already is, “Fuck, sorry. I’m all good. I’m not sure this is my scene, I was just going to call a taxi.”

There’s an opening. He’ll be damned if he’s not taking it, even though confessing anything is the furthest idea from his mind - he’s much more focused on making sure you’re okay and nobody’s done anything to hurt you. If they have, he's already resigned to a short stint in jail if necessary.

“Do you want to walk?”

“Uh, I mean not really. It’s quite late, so…”

“With me, I mean,” he quickly clarified, wanting to bash his head against the brick wall, “I could walk you home, if you wanted. Or not. That’s fine too.”

“Oh, right,” you’re looking down at your feet as you contemplate it, “That would be nice, if you’re sure. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he insists, falling into step beside you as you begin to walk. He wants to give you his jacket and maybe his shirt too with the way you’re shivering, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s a fucking coward, but he will get to the bottom of what’s the matter if its the last thing he does, “You gonna tell me what’s wrong now?”

You huff out a frustrated sigh, at him, at yourself, he isn’t sure.

“I made a fucking fool of myself tonight,” you say eventually, and he can’t even imagine you doing that, “I thought…god, it doesn’t matter what I thought. Everything just feels worse when its…1:30 in the morning, don’t you think?”

You’d lifted his hand to check his watch before you said the time. Again, he wanted to hold on, but he let you drop his hand and it just went limp.

“It fucking does, yeah. Don’t think you could make a fucking fool of yourself if you tried though. Not around us lot.”

Your family, he heard Ted’s voice in his head. He was not fucking saying that. To his surprise, you let out a loud bark of a laugh at his words and he was staring at the side of your face as you spoke out into the dark air.

“I thought you were coming to pick me up tonight, you know?” you began, and his heart drops to his shoes. You’re upset about him?

“What?”

“Something you said earlier, when you asked me to come. You asked where I lived, then told me it would be a twenty minute walk to get there. Then you said ‘see you at seven’.”

He could have stopped walking. He had said that, but he was just trying to help you plan out your timings for the evening - you’d mentioned to him once that you were known for having some time blindness when you were getting ready for things. Of course he should have realised how fucking stupid that was, how much that sounded like he would come and walk with you.

He would have fucking loved to walk with you.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, far too loudly for the quiet night that surrounded you. You carried on undeterred, shaking your head. He could see your frustration was at yourself now, and he hated himself even more than he had earlier.

“My fault for assuming, I know. But that’s why I was so late. And when I arrived, trying talk myself into not feeling like a twat, you were already over with Dani and Isaac and Bumbercatch, clearly never intending to come pick me up. Which, why would you, of course. I just…felt shit. Jamie tried to help, bless him, but I just wanted to go home, honestly.”

Roy is the biggest idiot on the planet. He wants to go back into the club and hug Jamie for looking after you, then ask him to punch him in the face. Roy could punch something, anything right now, but he just grits his teeth.

“I’m-” he grunts when his voice comes out all strangled, “I’m really fucking sorry, Y/N. I’m the fucking twat. I was asking where you lived and that to help you with that fucking time blindness thing you told me about. Should’ve known how it sounded though. Fucking idiot.”

He directed the last comment at himself, kicking a stone he’d found on the pavement. He kept his eyes firmly trained on his shoes as the two of you continued walking, now at a significantly slower pace. Your eyes were burning a hole in the side of his face.

There was a silence that stretched on as you stared at him, until-

“Fucking hell,” you groaned, “That’s so fucking sweet. You’re the worst.”

He doesn’t know if he can remember being called sweet before. Phoebe was often excessively complimentary of him in a way that made him uncomfortable, but sweet had never come up. He didn’t feel sweet.

“I am the worst,” he grunted, spiralling, “Making you feel so shit. Ruining your fucking night. I was the one who convinced you in the first place and now you’ve had a shit fucking time and I’m the worst.”

He’s a little out of breath and loud again by the end of his rant. The two of you have stopped walking. You kick the toe of your heel against his shoe, placating.

“No, you’re the worst ‘cause you keep giving me all this hope. I fucking hate hope, no matter what Ted says,” you chuckle to yourself, and he’s not sure what you’re saying but he’s peering into your now smiling expression as he tries to work it out, “Look, do you like me or not? You’re a good guy Roy and either way, I’m grateful that you’re walking me home. I just think if I ask, maybe I can just feel like a twat for the night and get it over with by tomorrow.”

“Do I…like you?”

He sounds thick. He feels thick. Feels like his mouth is full of honey that his tongue is having to wade through to even speak to you. It’s stuck to the bottom of his mouth, heavy.

“Yeah. As in, do you just enjoy eating lunch with me or do you ever look at me and just want to kiss me? Cause I do that all the fucking time, Roy, but I can’t be arsed to dance around it anymore.”

You look really tired as you stare up at him, but he feels more energised than ever. You’ve both just established that he’s the absolute worst, and yet here he is, with everything he could’ve wanted right in front of him. You, looking fucking gorgeous and looking at him like that? Even getting a job at Chelsea wouldn’t help him against you - he was gone.

There’s a smirk on his face that he can’t bite back as he takes your face in both his hands and revels in the gasp he can pull from you. He should have known you’d be the first to say something. You weren’t the coward he was.

“Let’s not fuck about then, yeah?”

Low and breathy. You respond with a nod so eager that he’s practically grinning when he pulls you in. It’s quickly replaced by a hunger he’s been keeping at bay, allowing his hands to slide into your hair as he deepens the kiss almost as soon as it’s started. He can feel your hands clutching at the lapels on his jacket, but he’s more excited when you throw your arms around his neck instead, tugging on the hair at the base of his head.

He growls and you actually whimper. It’s like he’s been set on fucking fire. Like he’s been struck by lightning.

When he pulls away for air, you stay close, peppering kisses along the scruff of his jaw, up the side of his face and back down again. He holds you to him tightly around your waist and feels wanted. He’s wanted you for so long, but to be wanted in return, so openly, it’s both hot and meaningful. He’s not sure anyone’s ever told him they liked him before. Most models he’d dated were pretty sold on the idea that he had to make all the moves.

Still, when you begin trailing kisses down his neck and there’s a hand on the top button of his shirt, he has enough sense about him to stop you. Even if he really doesn’t want to.

“I don’t know what street this is,” he breathes out, low voice little more than a rumble, “But maybe we don't give your neighbours a fucking show.”

You look thoroughly kissed when you look back at him, but he doesn’t think it’ll ever be enough. He leans in to kiss you once more to punctuate his sentence, watching as you duck your head, all shy, even though your arms are still around him. He knows now that when you ducked your head with Jamie, you were embarrassed. This is you properly flustered and it’s one of his favourite looks on you.

“Good call, yeah. Okay. I’m- I’m just around this corner, I think.”

“You think?”

“Shut up, you,” you whack him lightly on the shoulder, as the two of you resume walking, “Think you can make it all the way there?”

“I’d carry you if my knee wasn’t fucked,” he admits, watching you with a lopsided smile, “Really fucking like you, by the way. If that wasn’t proof. Thought you should hear me fucking say it.”

You close your eyes in a little half laugh - giddy, he thinks. 

“Well, I did wonder. We’ve spent a lot of time together the last few weeks for someone who doesn’t like spending time with people.”

“Your first clue,” he agrees, taking your hand with pride now as the two of you keep walking, turning the corner towards your house. The pace is a lot quicker than it was before. He hopes he knows why, “I’ll be less of a fucking idiot now. Promise.”

“Eh, don’t worry,” you shrug, letting go of his hand only to thread your arm through his and take hold of his hand again, even tighter, “Nothing sexier than fucking idiots. I like my men with no thoughts behind their eyes.”

He properly laughs at that, head tilted back, feeling your head against his arm as you laugh with him. You slow down, gesturing left. Your house. The two of you walk down the drive until you’re at the door, face to face again and Roy is having a small internal battle.

“Look, I know you said no show for the neighbours,” you begin, almost nervously, “But does that mean a…private show is totally off the table too?”

He watches you picking at your nails. Can’t help it. He pulls you in for another breathless kiss, just to watch you come alive again, confident and fucking into him, however much of a miracle it seems. You pull away this time, clearly keen for an answer, but he groans.

“Tryin’ to be a fucking gentleman, here. Why don’t we do dinner tomorrow? Proper date. And I’ll fucking pick you up.”

You giggle. Still, there’s a glint in your eyes, as you sigh melodramatically.

“That does sound nice. Only thing is, there could be an intruder in here, you know? So, and I’ll only ask once more and then I promise I’ll let you go if you say no, but maybe you should walk me to my bedroom? To make sure I’m safe, you know? And then you can pay for my breakfast in the morning like a good old fashioned gentleman, if you want.”

You’re looking up at him, all hopeful again. His resolve is dwindling. You spin your keys around one finger and its a simple gesture, but it’s the final straw.

“I’m paying for your fucking lunch too,” he growls, diving into you once again. He’s beside himself when he hears you mutter a faint ‘thank fuck’ as you fumble to unlock the door and all but drag him inside.

---

if you've read this far, i fucking love you, you beautiful sunflower <3 requests open for this angry man and his favourite jamie tartt if you're interested!!

[v3x-y0urs3lf]

Qiu Lin x Loner / unpopular / shy? MC

Written during the demo ⭐️

Tamarack x Popular reader

Depending on what steps I’m talking about, I’ll change Qiu’s pronouns..

Also, I’m aware that being a ‘loner’ or unpopular doesn’t necessarily mean you’re shy. I do occasionally mention the MC being shy, unlike step 1 Qiu I’m not always going to be able to be too accommodating.

I kind of got sidetracked during the end of Step 3, I’m sorry it doesn’t really fit with the theme.

I am incredibly tired right now, apologies if the English isn’t clear. I did not proof read this.

————————————————————

I feel like this trope perfectly fits Qiu during a majority of the steps (1-3 I don’t really know about 4.) mainly because Qiu - despite not really intending on it, just is naturally popular even during step 2 (somehow?)

Step one Qiu just doing his usual thing with being overly accommodating and super welcoming to the new neighbour and they’re just.. not accepting it?

You can try and turn Qiu down softly or even just straight up ignore him and he’d.. accept it? I dunno, going off by Qiu’s normal reactions to when you choose to dismiss him.. he doesn’t seem like he’d care unless someone’s starting to judge or bother the MC and vice versa.

I’d like to just highlight that like.. everyone knows Qiu? I quite literally just imagine a bunch of kids during school constantly asking to play with him and while Qiu feels a bit too mean to decline.. he really wants to go play with his new neighbour?

Qiu would try and introduce the MC (and Tamarack.. maybe.) to all of his other friends but.. Neither of them are really budging which puts Qiu at a bit of a cross point.

I’m honestly not too sure what he’d do, lol. My heart wants me to say that Qiu would just go play with the MC anyways, regardless of how many people want him to play with t them but. My brain is telling me he’d give in to all the majority and play with them for a while before going to find the MC later.

Does that mean Qiu doesn’t want to go play with the MC instead? No. Does that mean Qiu doesn’t look their way occasionally while he’s playing tag with the other kids? No. Does that mean Qiu hurts the other kids’ feelings by straight up turning them down? Also no.

Logically thinking, despite what he wants- Qiu would pick to accomodate for the bigger crowd but leave a section of his time to make up for ‘ditching’ the MC for a moment.

It’s very obvious around that Qiu will always go back for the MC. No matter how fun the game is, No matter how distracted/forgetful he usually gets, No matter how many people he’s playing with- He will. Without a doubt. Go talk or play with the MC for at least 10 minutes before break or whatever ends.

Now, Step two.. “All they want in life is a little peace with the ones they trust. Such as, potentially their very favourite neighbor/neighbour.”

Qiu is still very obviously and very much ‘popular’. That never changes throughout their life (probably). They just don’t want to be.

Picture Qiu and MC, chilling by themselves and just avoiding people. By this stage there shouldn’t be any shyness or complete hatred and so, the two of them just sit with each other comfortably as Qiu rejects and declines any and all offers to hang out with anyone else but MC, Ren, Baxter(?) and.. potentially Tamarack? (Not sure about the last two.)

Unfortunately, Qiu can’t control their popularity or ‘Acquaintances’/old friends and everyone does notice when the ‘popular kid’ starts solely hanging out with one person in particular.

I’m not saying MC is getting bullied.. I’m just saying everyone can tell there is obvious favouritism and high school students can and will be mean.. take that as you will.

This is totally the time for “doesn’t get the hype but warms up to person B”.

I might just be biased but.. After 4 years you’d think you’d warm up to the neighbour kid enough to start to.. tolerate? Be content? .. perhaps even enjoy the presence of?

I don’t want to describe the MC too much but let’s just say the feelings between the both of them are mutual. (As in two teens just wanting to get away from the world.)

The two of you find solace in each other’s presence, the two of you having a mutual understanding that you both don’t really want to interact with the world but you’re totally fine with each other.

I hate how short step 2 was but I don’t know how else to describe angsty teens being angsty teens. So we’re moving onto Step three.

Qiu now understands the MC more, After having 8 years knowing each other and at least 4 years of deep conversations as angsty teenagers they can now officially say they understand your point of view.

Qiu doesn’t try to push the MC out of their comfort zone like he would’ve back in Step 1 but they certainly wouldn’t leave the MC to exactly stay in their own shell of aloofness.

Qiu does try to suggest getting out there, meeting new people but if you totally don’t want to- Up to you! They aren’t you and so they will NOT make that decision for you.

Autumn is up for a chat if you’re looking for one though, even the quietest, shyest, most aloof people in town sometimes need someone their age to talk to. Qiu gets it.

You were there through a very deep part of Qiu’s life and they are ready to be for you too if you want them there. Qiu can’t promise that they’ll help solve your problems or make you the talk of the town, but you better bet that they’ll cherish your relationship far after death do the two of you part.

[geekfanficwriter]

Weird- Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your friendship with Steve isn't that weird, right? Words: 2.8k Warnings: SMUT (18+, minors dni), dry humping, fingering, oral (m!receiving), slight angst but not really

‘Never have I ever thrown up while giving a blowjob.’ Your best friend, Steve, said looking directly at you with a big grin on his face. You glared back at him as you took a drink, while everyone else made audible noises of disgust.

‘Yeah, yeah. I was drunk. I was going to throw up anyway.’ You waved your hand as if it wasn’t a big deal. It was your turn next so you thought for a second before looking directly at Steve.

‘Never have I ever had sex on a golf course in broad daylight.’ Steve rolled his eyes before taking a drink. You looked around the circle and saw Nancy glaring at you as she took a drink.

‘Oh shit. Sorry, Nance, I forgot that was you.’ You said your eyes widening. You had only meant to make Steve drink, not her.

‘Why does she even know that?’ Nancy shot at Steve, who shrugged.

‘We tell each other everything.’ 

‘Well, your friendship is weird.’ Nancy said, standing up and storming off with Jonathan following closely behind her. Soon after that, the game trickled off with people going to mingle or dance. You and Steve got up heading through to his kitchen to grab a couple beers.

‘Our friendship isn’t that weird right?’ You asked Steve, frowning slightly.

‘No, definitely not babe.’ Steve said wrapping his arms around your shoulders from behind. You rested the back of your head on his chest as you took sips from your beer. You and Steve had been friends since 5th grade, ever since he had stolen a ball from you in the playground and you had kicked him in the shin. Even throughout his ‘King Steve’ phase the two of you had remained friends. Despite him being popular and you being a weirdo who didn’t care about conforming to high school standards, he had always stuck by your side defending you from anyone who tried to make fun of you in any way. 

‘Hey, Rob.’ You greeted her as she walked into the kitchen, looking for a bottle opener.

‘Rob, do you think me and Steve’s friendship is weird?’ You ask as you fiddle with Steve’s hand.

‘Yeah definitely.’ She said leaning against the counter facing the two of you.

‘What’s so weird about it? I mean it’s no different from you and Steve’s friendship!’ You protest, pouting.

‘I don’t stand in the corner of a party, cuddled up to Steve.’ She points out and you look between you and Steve.

‘Okay so fine maybe our friendships are different but that doesn’t make it weird.’ 

‘If you guys were a couple the way you act would be weird but as friends, totally weird. I mean you guys are constantly cuddling, you call each other pet names like babe and sweetheart like I’m convinced Steve doesn’t know your name at this point, you guys always share a bed even though you don’t have to, you-‘

‘Okay, okay fine you’ve made your point.’ You cut Robin off, your face bright red. 

‘Just saying, it’s weird.’ She said, walking away as you turn to face Steve who ruffles your hair.

‘Ignore her, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. And she’s wrong about at least one thing, I do know your name, Y/N.’ He jokes and you smile at him. Your friendship was perfectly normal.

The party had ended and Steve was currently helping an extremely drunk Robin to the spare room while you walked around with a trash bag, throwing in empty bottles that were scattered everywhere. You were pretty drunk currently but not so much that you couldn’t stand just so much that you were completely buzzed.

‘You don’t need to clean up, babe. I’ll do that in the morning.’ Steve said coming down the stairs and wrapping his arms around you, nuzzling his head into your shoulder.

‘I’ll just finish what I’m doing.’ You told him, wrapping your arm that wasn’t holding the trash bag around him.

‘No, we're going to bed. You know I won’t be able to sleep without you there.’ Steve wrapped his arms around you even tighter. You sighed, he always got cuddly with you when he was drunk.

‘Okay, let’s go then.’ You placed down the bag and walked upstairs together. Once you reached Steve’s room the two of you stripped down to your underwear and climbed into bed facing each other. 

As you lay there you thought about what Robin and Nancy had said. Was your friendship weird? I mean sure Steve had seen your boobs before but that was only because you had a weird lump and wanted a second opinion. And yeah, once or twice before you had both masturbated next to each other because you had been horny and didn’t want to leave each other. And sure, when that had happened you had wanted to reach over and touch Steve’s cock but that didn’t mean anything. 

Oh, who were you kidding? Your friendship was weird. If any of your other friends acted this way around you, you’d think they were a creep but Steve was different. He was Steve, your best friend and the greatest guy in Hawkins (not that there was much competition). Of course, you wanted to be more than friends but Steve could have his pick of any girl so why would he choose you? 

A flick to the forehead pulled you out of your thoughts.

‘You’re thinking loudly.’ Steve told you, a concerned look on his face.

‘That makes no sense.’ You respond.

‘It totally does. Now, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?’ You were happy that it was dark in the room because Steve wouldn’t be able to see you blush.

‘Robin’s right. Our friendship is weird.’ You muttered looking down. Steve reached out and pulled you into his chest, stroking your hair.

‘Oh, babe, who cares what anyone else thinks? As long as we’re happy then that’s what matters. And besides, I personally don’t care if people think I’m dating you, I’d be lucky to be in a relationship with you.’ 

‘I’d be the lucky one if we were dating. I mean I’d be dating The Steve Harrington.’ You grin, removing your face from his chest and looking at him.

‘Oh come on, I’d be dating someone who is smart, hot, funny, kind. You’d be dating a guy who peaked in high school and now works in a video shop. I’d definitely be the lucky one.’ 

‘Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re the best person I know. Any girl who be lucky to have you, including me.’ It was the closest you were going to get to a confession. The idea of actually revealing the truth of your feelings to Steve scared you and wasn’t something you were going to do in the dark while drunk while you had no escape.

‘Let’s just settle on we’d both be lucky to date each other. Although I’d personally be overjoyed to date you. Now, goodnight.’ Before you could even ask him what he meant, he shut his eyes and adjusted himself so he was in a more comfortable position to sleep. You didn’t move, his words playing through your head continuously. Did he really mean it? Maybe Steve felt the same way about you that you did about him. 

Before you could convince yourself to back out you decide to make a move, knowing that Steve isn’t actually asleep yet. You move your legs forward, wrapping the top one around his waist and pressing your crotch against his. You contain a gasp as you feel that Steve’s already hard against you. You move your hips once, in a way that could be perceived as an accident if this goes badly. You bit your lip as your clit rubs against him, and Steve lets out a quiet groan, eyes flying open.

‘What are you doing?’ He asks looking at you.

‘Did you mean it?’ You whisper quietly. Your forehead was pressed against his, your lips barely an inch apart.

‘Did I mean what?’ Steve whispered in response.

‘That you’d be overjoyed to date me.’ You say it as if it was something simple. As if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest. As if the entire dynamic of your friendship is about to change no matter what he answers.

‘I- Of course I did.’ Steve stumbles slightly but settles at last on just admitting the truth. That’s all you need to react, closing the gap between the two of you and pressing your lips against his. Steve kissed back hard, both of you pouring all your emotions into that one kiss. He moved his hand up to grip the back of your head, holding you close. Eventually, the two of you pulled away from each other and Steve moved his hand down to stroke your cheek. You felt your heart flutter as you looked into his eyes and he pressed a kiss to your nose. You lean in again kissing him hard as you reach your hands down, gripping his boxers in your hands.

‘Babe, as much as I want to, I want to take you out on a date before we have sex.’ He said pulling away from you. 

‘Okay, but if we keep our underwear on does it really count as sex?’ You smile cheekily at him. Steve thinks for a moment before smiling.

‘No, it definitely doesn’t.’ Steve leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips hard. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pressed yourself against his hard cock. You could feel how big he was through your underwear and you really wanted to feel him in your hand but you respected his boundaries. He started to grind his hips into yours as you let out a moan, feeling him press against your clit. He pulls away from your lips, pressing kisses down your neck as you rub against him. He sucks hard, leaving marks behind as his hands move up to grab your breasts.

‘Screw it. Can I put my fingers inside you?’ Steve groaned out and you moaned slightly at his words, nodding as you do so. He reached inside your underwear and started to rub your clit. You groaned out and rutted your hips against his hand. He slipped his fingers down and rubbed them around your hole.

‘Steve, please.’ You whined out. He slipped his fingers inside you and you groaned out, gripping the bedsheets beneath you. He slowly started pumping his fingers in and out of you as you moaned loudly. He moved his thumb up to rub your clit as he suck on the part of your breast that was exposed from your bra. He sped up his fingers inside you, moving them at the perfect pace. You threw your head back against the pillow as you felt your orgasm building as his fingers kept moving in and out of you.

‘Come on, baby.’ Steve encouraged you. You moaned, clenching around his fingers as he rubbed your clit even harder, causing your orgasm to wash over you. You moaned loudly as you came. You breathed hard as Steve pulled his fingers out of you slowly. He leaned down and kissed you sweetly as you reached behind his neck, playing with the ends of his hair.

‘Steve, can I give you a blowjob, please?’ You asked sweetly as you felt his dick pressing into you.

‘Fuck, fuck yeah.’ Steve nods as he moves to lie on his back. You get up and move down so your mouth was level with his cock. You grip his boxers with your hand and pull them down slightly. You gasp lightly when you see his cock. It’s bigger and thicker than you expected. You’re not sure how you’re going to fit it into your mouth. You lean down and press a kiss to his hip, sucking lightly as you do. You move your attention to his cock and press a small kiss to the tip. You move down and light a strip up his cock before sucking lightly on the tip. Steve's hands fly to your hair as he lets out a loud groan at the feeling. You take him deeper into your mouth and breath deeply as you slowly jerk what you can’t fit into your mouth. Steve moans out your name as you swirl your tongue around him, starting to bob your head up and down as you do so. Steve pulled your hair and you moaned against his cock.

‘Fuck.’ Steve moaned. You kept bobbing your head up and down as Steve’s hands gripped your hair. You could tell he was close so you pulled up slightly so you were just sucking the tip, while you pumped the rest with your hand. He let out a loud moan as he came into your mouth. You swallowed it all as Steve leaned back against the pillow. You made your way back up and pressed your lips against his softly.

‘So what was that about no sex?’ You grinned slightly as you snuggled into his chest, his arms wrapping around you.

‘It wasn’t like full-on sex so really it doesn’t count.’ He grinned back, pulling your head back up to meet his lips.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.’ You murmur as you pull away from him before yawning slightly.

‘Neither will I, now come on, let’s go to sleep.’ You turn over on your side so Steve is spooning you from behind and close your eyes dozing off into a blissful rest.

You wake in the morning and smile as you feel Steve’s arms wrapped around you. You turn over in his arms and face him, seeing his beautiful sleeping face, reaching your hand up and running it through his hair. He stirs away slowly, eyes opening as he grins down at you.

‘Please tell me last night wasn’t a dream.’ He mumbles out sleepily.

‘Nope, it was definitely real.’ You grin and he leans down slightly, pressing your lips together.

‘Come on, let’s get up and get some breakfast.’ He pulls away from you, standing up and walking over to his wardrobe, grabbing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, throwing them over to you before sliding on a t-shirt himself. You quickly pull them on and stand up. 

The two of you walk into the kitchen, heading over to the fridge. You pull out some eggs and bacon, before grabbing a frying pan and putting it on the stove.

‘I should probably make some for Robin as well.’ You say as you put enough bacon for the three of you on the pan.

‘Hmm, probably.’ Steve says wrapping his arms around you from behind and kissing behind your ear lightly. ‘Have I ever told you how good you look in my clothes?’ He whispers in your ear, making you blush.

‘You’ve seen me in your clothes thousands of times.’ You reply back.

‘Yeah, and you always look good in them.’ He flirts back and you roll your eyes at his antics. 

‘Hey, guys.’ Robin says, walking into the kitchen, and rubbing her eyes. Steve pulls away from you, smiling slightly as he heads over to a cupboard to grab some plates.

‘Hey Rob, you want one egg or two?’ You ask, turning to look at her as you put the bacon on the plates.

‘Two. I’m starving.’ You nod and turn back to the pan, cracking some eggs over it. 

Once you finished making breakfast, the three of you sit down at the breakfast bar, eating your food. You lean over and rest your head on Steve’s shoulder as you eat and he smiles down pressing a kiss to your forehead.

‘Urgh, see this is what I mean. That is weird for friends.’ Robin scoffs, looking disgusted.

‘But it’s not weird if she’s my girlfriend, right?’ Steve asks a big grin on his face.

‘Wait, no, oh my god.’ Robin says looking at the two of you with shock.

‘Yep, thanks to you calling our friendship weird, we confessed our feelings to each other.’ You grinned excitedly.

‘I knew you guys liked each other!’ Robin said excitedly before a look of horror crossed her face. ‘Please don’t hook up in the back room at Family Video.’ You both laughed slightly at her face.

‘No promises.’ Steve laughed, gripping your chin and pulling your face towards his in a sweet kiss.

‘Eww, no stop. I’m going to be sick.’ Robin fake gagged.

‘Well, it’s your fault we’re together now so you’re going to have to put up with it.’ You smiled as you cuddled into Steve’s side.

[slickfordain]

fandom: Genshin Impact

AU: SAGAU

Can you do one where they thought the reader would be a male but really the reader is a female. And when the reader is isekaid everyone treats her normally and then she meet childe and they fall in love. Then everyone finds out reader is the creator, and how everyone would react when they find out she is dating childe. Mostly the harbingers and the tsaritsa

 Some things might not have gone your way, I’m sorry if it isn’t to your liking

Somewhat Yandere, leads to Childe / Tartaglia / Ajax x reader, female!reader, girly reader

You weren’t really the one to speak during playing a game, but you were always willing to be on a call with your online best friend who you’d consider as your long lost twin. So here you are, trying to level up Keqing and Amber to level 70 in their character sheets.

Unknowingly, the characters are well aware. For both of your best friend’s world and yours. As you can see, SAGAU works for the two of you… With every other many people. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Your best friend chooses someone’s destiny, and so do you, and you both get mistaken as the creators. It’s not false because you and your best friend would technically know “everything”.

But the thing is, the characters cannot hear your voice. They can only feel your presence and aura. So you were anonymous, even your face. Nobody would impersonate you. If someone did, they would pity the said person— while the Archons will send a light threat towards them to stop it and snap out of it, giving them a second chance to willingly change their plans. And it always works, because the imposter never has the divine blood or powers. Realistically I don’t think the characters would blindly believe an imposter anyway, because how are they supposed to believe someone, if the divine is always controlling the traveler? Exactly. The divine hasn’t gone into Teyvat. Not just yet.

And Venti would personally see this as a mock towards the divine, so most of his threats are violent, because he knew how it was to impersonate someone. But it’s different for him. He gets to slip away because he had no choice. The Archons and Celestia knew that, leaving him be and not hunting him down. They’re not that crazy.

People can change for the better, that’s why they don’t kill imposters unless the imposters go too far with it. They learned that because you like bullying some people too, much to their notice whenever they feel your anger and sarcasm— despite not hearing you…. But you can be sweet and gentle as well.

At this point they thought you were a male, because you seem rather strong and brave to go against a boss with such little leveled artifacts… Yet somehow you still won, and now you’re leveling up for the battle with Signora doesn’t know, mind you.

But that’s when things happen, with you teleporting into Teyvat in an accident, not knowing what was going on and what was happening. You just knew, you were totally screwed because you ended up in Teyvat.

And you ended up meeting Childe, being quite startled by him once he had shown up, with his hydro weapon in hand before realizing you were just an innocent bystander.

That’s where it began.

Now, you’re not quite one to trust Childe because uhm……. Yeah. But, if you show him some respect like how Yoimiya did in her voicelines, you might as well give it a try to befriend him. So that’s where it lead to, you being a listener as Childe was questioning where did you come from and why did you wear such… Weirdly unique clothing.

You lied to him. Telling you were originally from Liyue, but then got kidnapped by some crazy hoarders and mixed their clothes together to create your outfit. Childe was surprised, thrilled and told you how much of a genius you were, but you just went by being humble and told him you weren’t. Haha. He didn’t believe that bullshit, because you were an absolute genius… And to think you survived those damn hoarders.

The friendship grew out, that the news about you spread like a wildfire… Though, everyone treated you normally, while the Fatuis had no absolute care about you. They would canonly, for SAGAU of the reader hid their identity (without knowing), could care for absolutely nothing. Not even the wanderer would care for you, unless he has seen how much you’re such a genuine friend.

Yeah. That’s exactly how it ended up into… You see, when you spent your time so much in Liyue being so silent and so polite— nodding and just trying to help people out, it eventually lead every commissions (That didn’t involve fighting) to you. You were now the new “traveler” everyone could rely on.

And everyone just simply adored you, even Ying’er and those people who sold things around Liyue. Yanfei was even going to book in a house for you, pitying about your life and was horrified about how many years you’ve been stuck with a bunch of hoarders. Once she sees them, she will give them a piece of her mind in the name of the law.

This attracted other nations… And the more nations tried communicating with you, the more they realized how much pure bright aura you had spread throughout the entire Teyvat world. And much to say the least, the traveler Lumine was so grateful you existed— because she’s now becoming less tired! You’re helping her out!

Everyone was so extremely fond of you, adoring every bit of your habits and movements, gazing at you like a hawk whenever you slept around. Because you’re lazy, and weak. You’re not strong or badass, but that was quite fine with them because they didn’t expect much. Why would you want to fight anyway? You think fighting is cringe when you do it, and find yourself comfortable doing makeup and being just— cozy.

You stayed in Teyvat, thinking this was just all a sweet shifting possibility, thinking you’ll wake up by the next morning. Wheezing and laughing every-time someone tried flirting with you, but got scolded by another.. And you managed to somehow get the Archons to speak to you first. Without doing anything.

You were a peaceful lazy tired gem, who just happens to be a normal civilian in Teyvat. You just wanted to do makeup in peace.

Childe was in love, not much to your surprises… Having deeper conversations with you inside your bedroom on your bed, having a sleepover under the fairy lights, talking about deep things. It eventually lead you two to open up, for the very first time ever since you two grew to be friends.

You were still nice and kind, not saying much about yourself which made Childe just— frown. He wanted to get to know you more, and urged you to continue on. Might’ve slipped up that he was in love with you, and since you thought that this was still yourself shifting into Teyvat— you approved of his confession.

How did the entire Teyvat react to this? Hah. They didn’t know actually… The wanderer might be suspicious of how close you and Childe were but, he thought you two were just best friends— so he finds every possibility to annoy Childe whenever he hugs your waist and sticks his tongue out at Childe, because you couldn’t see due to the hug. The wanderer saw you as an important friend he could’ve ever caught on with… A friend who saw his importance.

Heizou and Kazuha would even try sending you bouquet of (Favorite flower), telling you you are beautiful everyday. Everyone just… Seemingly saw you as their important best friend. It’s because they worshipped their God who hadn’t been… On for an odd while. They worried, feeling their hearts pounding and throbbing so quickly they felt like the need to burn their skin to melt themselves, and then kill and crush people. Why wasn’t their God back?

Please divine God come back.

You even notice how weird they acted every time they hung out with you, seeing them on their knees in front of a faceless statue… That was portioned like a male body, making you raise an eyebrow. Was this another Archon? An Archon you never knew about?

No… He must be more greater than an Archon… Why would the Archons bow down like this…? Unless, you’ve ended up into one of those weird fan fictions where there’s a divine God…

But luckily it “wasn’t” you~ And it was a male God, so you were fine, right?? You continued dating Childe who completely left the phase of praying to the divine. Oh, no, don’t get him wrong! He appreciates his God and everything…

But…

The way he got so emotionally close to you, made him choose you over the divine. He would kill the divine if it meant to have such a loving calm quiet person like you. That’s how much Childe likes you. You’re not special, but the fuck does he care about that for? You eat, sleep, laze around, and have this weird “artifact” on your hands, but remove it whenever you pamper him with kisses as he gives you the princess treatment. He’s so whipped for you, down bad.

And the afternoon continued on like usual. You were just asleep, seated down, head on the table above your arms while Ayato and Ayaka were simply so happy going to Liyue to know you! You were such a fun person, having dark jokes— Which uh, Cyno quite loved but, other than that you were harmless, just pretty normal which was refreshing for them… And they were always loyal to their divine, no doubt, they’re just squeezing you into the loyalty because… You were just a stunning best friend they could’ve asked for.

With everyone around the table talking and chattering, with Childe sitting so close to you as well with Wanderer, glaring at one another… Xiangling and Thoma accidentally dropped the knife from the tray, hitting your skin that you barely even felt, but woke up because it felt like a bug hitting your skin. Your body slightly flinched, but you didn’t scream or cry, your tired pretty eyes gazing confused at everyone. They looked horrified until…

Something leaked out of your skin, much to your surprise when you noticed there was— not gold— but pink blood running down, trickling slowly to the floor. It was said that gold was the divine’s original blood, but if it was pink, it’s the reincarnation of the divine…

The Archons had wide eyes, their skin going pale before they all stood up with shaky and heavy breaths, their hearts clenching while the entire planet of Teyvat fell into silence.

“… Uhm, you guys oka—”

“Y-You’re the divine?! The divine was a girl?!”

The yelling of Thoma startled the living shit out of you, as you stared at him baffled. You have never seen that man yelling so much before… Before noticing him and Xiangling trembling on their knees, their tears trickling out with absolute fear and regret. Guilt.

“P-Please let us treat you our divine! Barbara!!”

Jean had called out for her sister, who immediately ran towards you but… You just took the knife out?????? As if it didn’t do absolute shit to you?????????1?1?1?1?1?1????

Barbara swore she was about to faint. The true power of the divine was so strong, that not even a knife simply destroyed your mood. But it scared everyone, with Venti crying his eyes out, bawling before he grabs your wounded area and looked like he was going to murder someone.

Everyone was speechless. Childe was speechless. After all this time, he was dating the said God he had gone away from praying… Oh… Oh if you knew that he stopped, he was scared you were going to give him some punishment, an execution. Childe wouldn’t blame you, he would never.

“Guys… I’m just tired… Also this is just a scratch real- oh, now I heal—”

You somehow activated your regeneration ability, fascinating most who has seen it with their own eyes by now. And to say the least, they weren’t going to be happy by now that you started talking to Childe, by saying….

“Oh, thank you for the napkin darling.”

“Y-Your- I— uhm… Y-You’re welcome hon…! Ahah… I… You’re… Wow…”

Childe wouldn’t… Stop stuttering around you? Darling? Hon?! What was this all about?! The table was trying to process all this information, and before they could even say anything… You had gotten up to leave.

…

Childe is absolutely dying.

Because when it comes to the news spreading to Snezhnaya, the Tsaritsa is angry at Childe. Enraged that he dared to date her “feminine wifey”. The doctor and the fallen Angel will work together once more to get you, as Arlecchino and Pantalone struck a deal with one another with a handshake.

They will get you. They didn’t care before and they were blind by then, so now, let them take full care of you.

Do you still think this is yourself shifting into Teyvat, [Name]?

💉 I will test my gorey-writing skills next time

[cak3o]

quick question (pun intended, even though I’m not asking abt him XD) what is Shadow Man’s role/personality like in your AU? From what I’ve seen, it’s like he’s pretty young and Top Man is kind of his friend? Guardian?

Hiiiiiii, ur ask got me so excited I yelled in my car on my way home from work/so so so positive

So. The 3 bots!!! They are so so cute to me (I call everything cute) because I love that they were made to function specifically as a team! A team to travel space together and mine power crystals?? They are so fun.

After the events of the 3rd game (which I will. Hopefully draw out one day) the 3 bots actually get to do their job!!! (After a lot of convincing from dr.light to the government or w/e that these robots will not go rogue again.)

Top (the leader), Needle, Spark, Magnet, Hard, Snake and Gemini all travel into space in a giant ship (I like to imagine they reused gamma in some way for this…I haven’t drawn it out yet tho) and investigate interstellar power sources!

Their missions are going great and their reports back to Light are pretty normal! Until…

During one if his expeditions, Top stumbles upon an injured robot…in the middle of space??

Concerned, they take him back to their ship where he quickly charms the entire crew with his odd personality and adowable face. He doesn’t talk much, but he’s super excited to meet everyone, especially Top.

Eventually, they go back home to Earth and bring the mystery robot to Doctor Light but for some reason-

They have *absolutely* not clue what the hell he’s made out of. Although he has the looks of a robot, he seemingly doesn’t have any actually mechanical components! Anytime they try to get a reading on what’s goin on in there, the images come out blurry and weird. Light worries about what would happen if Wily heard about this mysterious life form….(spoiler alert. He totally hears about it later)

In the meantime, the 3 bots offer to keep an eye on him. Light allows it, and thus, we have the final full 3rd group!

With a great team spirit and hardworking attitudes the 3 bots have a bit more spice added to their lives with the addition of “Shadowman”! Named such due to his tendency to hide behind others like a shadow :^3

It must’ve been fate that lead them to each other…

Or was it?

(Spoiler. It wasn’t)

Anyways. TLDR- yes, Top is like a guardian of sorts for Shadow lmao. He found a weird space baby and said “yeah, I’ll adopt him.” Little did he know that the space baby had this all planned from the beginning.

[animentality]

Not to send you an essay but do you ever think about how Gortash was the only person in the whole game who didn’t want anything from Durge but Durge. Just them, as a person. Like yes he wanted the netherstone, and wanted the alliance. But what I mean is there were no prereqs for Durge as a person. Every other companion, every other NPC even, wanted Durge to either resist and refuse Bhaal or pursue power and claim their birthright. Everyone had their two cents for what Durge should or shouldn’t do irrespective of how Durge actually felt about it. It made any friendship or love offered to them conditional, even in the case of their companions. It was always “I’ll stand by you, IF”. To be fair, not necessarily unreasonable for the normal person to set boundaries on murder and such lol. But my point is that they all wanted something from Durge first.

But Gortash. OF ALL PEOPLE. Gortash didn’t want anything from them but them. Even for Durge’s biggest supporters in either moral direction - Jaheira, Sceleritas, etc - it was not that simple. Yet Gortash’s friendship with Durge (and to be clear I think they were so in love but I say friendship here to emphasise that even on top of or irrespective of any romance, they were genuinely friends too!) was unconditional. “This changes nothing” is a line I know we all talk about to death but god. That is genuinely unconditional. It is!

(If we want to push the delusion a bit further, that’s a declaration of the unconditional nature of their alliance, which can be chalked up to nothing less than real and honest love as far as I’m concerned. He has no other reason to not care that Durge just said yeah the entire divine commandment part of this mission is in the pot. But Gortash was like I Do Not Care! And he meant it! “Oh yes incomprehensibly powerful beings came to us in our dreams and asked us to do all of this in their names in the first place, and you just pissed on that, but no biggie!” Same short-tempered petty bastard who kicks you hard in the shin with his metal-toe boot if you accidentally hit him. Who straight up attacks you if you show up to his office without any of the netherstones and say you forgot them or whatever. Guy who just kills you if you GIVE HIM THE STONES LOL. But he doesn’t care even slightly that Durge said fuck off to the lord of murder who ordered this whole plot to start? Doesn’t yell, doesn’t ask Durge what were they thinking, just goes oh ok. He makes me insane btw)

I’m also painfully aware that Durge will never find that kind of unconditional support with anyone else, ever. I just feel like this would haunt my resistance Durge for the rest of his days tbh.

(And like. My resistance Durge loves Jaheira, she’s the parent he never had and she means the world to him post-canon, he follows her around like a lost puppy because ultimately he is one but I have to wonder if he would lie awake at night with the niggling thought that maybe what he has with Jaheira would not survive if he acted any other way. Plus the thought that Gortash knew him at his absolute worst, and loved him anyway. And maybe that wasn’t a GOOD thing, morally - a GOOD person shouldn’t have loved him like that, right? - but he loved him anyway. I don’t think my Durge would ever ever get over it. Especially with the fact that he can’t even remember 99% of their relationship. Gortash can’t ACTUALLY haunt Durge cause Bane is busy using his soul as a stress ball but in every metaphorical way. Durge is haunted.)

Tldr Gortash is the guy who says “just be yourself <3” and I think that’s beautiful

You know, you hit the nail on the head.

Of course it's not unreasonable to expect your friends and lovers to stipulate, that they will only love you as long as you don't go on a murderous rampage.

That's totally reasonable, that's normal, I agree with it on principle.

But. But.

As you said.

Gortash loved you even when you went on a murderous rampage.

I am obsessed with him, because he loved the dark urge without reservation, believing in their ability to control their urge, but also admiring their intelligence and their talents.

He knew what they were from the start, and he accepted it!

And he could still love them!

I just don't think anyone else in the entire goddamn game could say that!

And that's why I'm obsessed with Durgetash.

You get me.

It's about loving someone for who they are, and not what they are to you.

They were never just the Chosen of Bhaal, whom he must work with, not to him.

Never.

They were never the Bhaalspawn, the savage dark urge, the scourge of Faerun.

They were themselves. And he liked that.

Guys, he LIKED them.

[undercoverrobotzombie]

Seduce me nation I have something new for us to think about

Okay so, yk that whole ‘I’m not a violent dog, I don’t know why I bite’ audio clip that’s been doing the rounds on tiktok recently, now we can very obviously relate this to Sam and his aggressive attitude n stuff, BUTT consider this; it’s better (well maybe not better but equally valid) for it to be associated with Matthew HEAR MEOWT, now I havnt played the game in a while so I may be getting a few things wrong but, the scene where (in matthews route ) when like everyone’s eating breakfast together and talking about when they got into fights and whatnot n sam brings up when Matthew totally murderised a bunch of imps who was making fun of his mother. Now, I may or may not be projecting a little or reaching but these are my headcanons okay🫵🏻 but I think it’s very possible that Matthew could have suppressed anger issues like given all his insecurities with others always helping him and people not seeing him as a man and people just generally babying him it must’ve been really frustrating and it’s not hard to believe that he’d snap every now and then, and like..ugh I could sit and talk about it for days but the long and short I’m trying to convey here is that he has anger issues, he’s normally happy go lucky and suddenly he just gets SO wound up he snaps, and it’s violent, and when he calms down and the adrenaline leaves he’s worried, he’s panicked and concerned that HE just did something so out of character for himself, he’s worried he’s becoming like his father. he’s not a violent person, he doesn’t know why he lashes out like that.

Please I pray the rest of you can see my vision PLEASEEEEE AGREE WITH MEEEE /lh

Anyways I’m so excited for the book all hail lady Diana!!

[mirrorthoughts]

The Identity Crisis of Desmond Miles

Alright, here we are 😂 Thanks to everyone who has voted on my poll (and yes, I know it's not over yet but I wrote this already anyway 😂), I’m actually surprised I got more than 10 votes (and all of them on a yes 💕(the one for the results was mine 😂I wanted to see how it’s going)).

So yeah, Blorbo thoughts about Desmond’s brain, how the Animus maybe-probably works on it and how it’s actually possible that Desmond still has a (probably in the end very weak) grasp of his own identity (below a readmore, because I don’t know how long this will get 😂😂)

The Start

First a few facts I will base this whole… essay on

Desmond learns skills from his ancestors, so the Animus has to impact him deeper than only on a surface level (surface level would be like playing a VR version of a game).

I don’t have the precise ages/dates in mind for the lifespans of Altair, Ezio and Connor, but even if I’m being conservative we’ll get at least 80+ years of other people’s memories in contrast to Desmond’s 25 years of life (…just realized he’s about half a year older than me, so maybe it’s not a surprise he’s one of my forever-blorbos <.<…), one of those, namely Ezio’s he actually ‘lived’ from birth to retirement (= ~55-60 years).

AC Revelations is the only real glance into Desmond’s own memories (aside from what he tells us at the beginning of AC1 and 2). From a doylistic view I know that Ubisoft probably just didn’t want to expend more effort to create Desmond’s memories the same as his ancestor’s, especially because they probably knew at that point they would kill him in the next installment anyway. From a watsonian view the way his memories are all bare bones - mostly his voice talking as if it was a story he remembers and not something he actually lived, without people/faces and places he knew - comes across as if he doesn’t really remember all that much anymore, as if they were really old memories buried by the rest of his (or rather his ancestors’) life.

The brain can hold a lot of information and memories. Even more than you might think. We all know about those Guiness World Records guys that taught themselves to easily remember a myriad of numbers, words, things, whatever. I actually recently saw a very good video about how to do that even as a ‘normal person’. And I’m not even talking about people with photographic, eidetic, echoic or other types of ‘perfect memory’. So, I think we can agree on: the brain is fucking awesome (most of the time) and probably can actually handle the 130+ years Desmond has experienced.

Desmond

Desmond’s ‘life’, according to what his brain experiences when he was in Abstergo’s hands looks a bit like this: Desmond (25yrs) -> Altair (however many days/weeks) -> Desmond (one night’s sleep) -> Altair (however many days/weeks) -> Desmond (one night’s sleep) -> repeat until he gets broken out of Abstergo.

And it only gets worse. Yes, he gets more “free time” when he’s with Shaun and Rebbecca, but at the same time he experiences weeks, if not months of Ezio’s life at a time! Sometimes even years. (We can argue about how the time jump-function works in the Animus, but he still gets the information of what happened how during that time because Ezio knows all of that shit, so even if it’s not as detailed as what he actually actively lives through he still gets the memory of what happened during that time as far as I’m concerned).

And then we have the most extreme ratio in Revelations: Mere seconds of being Desmond (hello computer/brain-speed!) against another few months/about a year of Ezio’s time.

During AC3 it’s not as clear cut how much time he spends in the Animus, thanks to them being inside, but I’d guess they’re about at the same ratio as with AC2, maybe a bit better since he does get to go on missions outside.

In total that makes maybe three months of Desmond’s time (it’s about half a year from when he got kidnapped to when he dies minus all the time he was in the animus. Tbh I think it’s even less than three months he has as Desmond/himself during that time) against literal decades of memories and experiences of his ancestors during the same time. And of course the Bleeding Effect that even disturbs his ‘Desmond time’.

So much for the ‘mathematical’ side of it all 😂

To summarize: Every memory that Desmond makes as himself is overshadowed by dozens of memories he makes as one of his ancestors. So piece by piece, Desmond’s own memories get buried deeper and deeper in his head and those 25 years he actually was only Desmond get fainter and fainter as the new memories he’s making as his ancestors are getting favored by his brain.

Identity Crisis

At this point, it wouldn’t be surprising if Desmond really believed himself to be Ezio, right? After all he’s lived about 55 years of Ezio, he remembers being born as him (and wasn’t that an awkward scene to play… nevermind experience for Desmond), growing up as him, and of course everything we as the player played through with Ezio. And although aside from some verbal outbursts against especially Lucy and a few scenes of the Bleeding Effect we actually don’t see much of it during the game (as far as I remember at least). But we also know about the in-game consequences of using the Animus in detail - hello Clay - and that Abstergo doesn’t really care about the effects of the Animus on their victims as long as they get from them what they want/need.

And yes, Rebecca’s Baby 2.0 was optimized by her to make it better/easier for Desmond. But better/lesser effects still means there will be some effects. And also… afaik Rebbecca has her informations about the Animus from whatever Lucy ‘smuggled out’ of Abstergo. Lucy is said to be a Templar spy, so what informations did she really give Rebecca? Bc as far as I’m concerned it would be to Lucy’s/the Templar’s advantage if Desmond would find them what they need more or less by his own choice and then is brain gets scrambled to hell and back so the Assassins won’t be able to get more informations themselves, right?

Anyway, @Raett (who was a lovely participant in the discussion of these thoughts) hit me with that lovely sentence of “If you've spent more time being 'Ezio' than being 'Desmond' than what's to say [you aren’t] Ezio with memories of Desmond?”

And… just imagine. You’ve just gone through decades of memories, your own memories are faint right now (see point 3) and you’re not quite sure if those actually are your memories or if that’s just something you’ve seen. Maybe you are Ezio after all? Maybe you only dreamt of those ‘memories’ of Desmond - after all that weird vision of a woman that called you the Prophet also talked about someone with that Name! Okay, alright, then you are obviously Ezio, right? You remember your family, your sister, after all you write to her regularly when you are not visiting. You remember Constantinopoli, you remember traveling to Masyaf, you remember finding Altair’s body, his memories.

Wait.

You remember more of Altair then the memory discs have shown you. How can you remember more of Altair’s life? It was already a miracle in your eyes that you saw his memories at all! You remember someone named Connor, Ratonhnhaké:ton. You remember him living in the future, not as far as Desmond, but still far closer to him than yourself. How can you remember the future if you are Ezio? But you remember your - Ezio’s - whole life, so you have to be Ezio, right? But you also remember Altair’s life. Not all of it, but years of it. And you remember Ratonhnhaké:ton, remember how he became Connor, remember his work and life up to somewhere in his later twenties.

And you remember, though faintly, Desmond. You remember that diabolical machine Desmond used. You remember what he was forced to do.

You can remember remembering, reliving your memories.

Are they really yours? Or maybe, maybe you aren’t Ezio after all.

Remembering

So, now that Desmond’s gone through that circle of ‘who am I?’ and ‘I’m Ezio, right?’ and ‘I have to be Ezio, but I can’t be Ezio, so who am I?’ probably more than just a couple of times, what actually is it that brings him back every time?

The short answer is probably ‘reality’, even though that sounds dumb as fuck at first 😂

But in a wider sense that’s actually true. A person’s memory doesn’t only consist of seeing and hearing things, as much as someone who played the games might get the impression because the average person has yet to be able to smell/feel/taste things from computer games 😂.

And that’s the crux, the only thing that actually saves Desmond from loosing himself completely: Sensory impressions, which are a great trigger to remember things.

The clothes he’s wearing don’t feel like any of his ancestor’s clothes. Their make and design are completely different, the fabric was produced in a different way, the clothes themselves, like underwear are even a modern invention (modern men’s underwear is actually largely an invention of the 1930s). And of course nowadays most people wear a lot less layers than it was custom in most of human history.

Then there’s sound and smell (and visuals of course), a modern city is so much louder than even ancient Rome has been. More people (the world’s population is more than 20 times larger than during the 1400s (Ezio was born in the latter half of that century). And between 2011 and 2023 we actually gained another Billion of people on this world!), loud and smelly cars, food stalls, tared streets, large buildings and modern architecture. Cities in general.

And of course he has his companions who would jog his memories by being there.

And his companions are the ones who also trigger another sense of Desmond: touch. Or at least I hope they do <.< touch starvation is a bitch and even a hand on your shoulder or sitting closer together and almost touching and stuff like that do help a lot.

In the same vein we also have Desmond’s own bodily awareness by the way. Especially after months of mostly lying in the Animus he won’t be as strong or enduring as his ancestors and when I think about how Ezio’ running around Rome in his armor… well Desmond definitely has a long way to get anywhere near that strength 😂😂😂 So, his body doesn’t feel like either his ancestor’s bodies. And he also has different markings on his body than them (aside from the scar on his lip that he shares with Altair and Ezio) and, of course, he has his tattoo.

And I think that’s what is grounding him the most. While he sure as hell can fall into one of his ancestors’ personalities when he’s hiding somewhere in the woods, cars - and technology in general - and cities and people have the best chance at pulling him back into himself. Even small things like a tea one of his ancestors remembers that just doesn’t taste quite right. Because over the hundreds of years the plants used to make that tea changed by natural evolution or - more likely - by cultivation through humans.

Coping

I’m kinda curious what they would have done with Desmond if he’d survived in canon. But since they didn’t really let him survive (I’m expertly ignoring the Reader btw.) we will never know an answer to that, I guess <.<…

Though I think with a bit of therapy he’d actually be able to compartmentalize the memories of his ancestors quite well? I mean… I actually think I saw something similar in a fanfic, but since each of their lives was so uniquely different I think it would actually be pretty clear cut to shove each of them in a dedicated space - like a mind palace or something.

I mean, mind palaces work by using a place (real or imaginary) that you know very well and kinda… sort what ever you want to remember in those places. Other than Desmond who mostly has the farm (and I don’t think he’d want to use that place and revisit it every time he tries to remember something specific) each of the other three kinda has at least one dedicated space he knows like the back of his hand. For Ezio he could use Florence, Monteriggioni, even Rome (though maybe a place he isn’t going to travel to that often). For Altair Masyaf is the most likely choice in my opinion. And for Connor he has the homestead and his ship. Just places he hasn’t the same connection to as Desmond and which he can imagine well enough.

He would probably still need a shit ton of therapy for that whole thing anyway and for coping with his own childhood and how his dad is a fucking asshole, too <.<… But he would have a chance to cope, maybe even heal.

Anyway, thanks for everyone who read this far 😂😂😂 I didn’t expect to turn this whole thing into a 2k+ essay, but well, I kinda did o_O… I have no idea if I remembered everything I wanted to write, but this thing is what you get 😂 Hope you had fun! :D (And thanks for wanting to read this to everyone who voted 💕)

[brightnote]

Marvel is playing a fast paced no risk no reward game and the characters and story are really paying for it

Yes yes an old complaint that Marvel fails its female characters and instead of fixing it they just fall into the same old tropes. But Secret Invasion failed Nick Fury,  Rhodey, Talos, and Gravik too! This was a very very very good cast and they all did a great job with what they had but the stories are so bad, they are nonsensical, not well developed, filled with plot holes. In fact the only person who made it out of this show were the new characters G’iah and Sonya, and so far G’iah is pretty Mary Sue which is another Marvel problem!  

This is a long one.. 

Black Widow is such a good example of this. Marvel never wanted to make a Black Widow movie. They did it for fan service and as an easier way to introduce Florence Pugh’s character, it was not in anyway to provide Natasha with a background, history, story, or development and it was total rushed nonsense. That movie was BAD. I rank it slightly above Quantumania. Natasha and Maria were in the MCU in 2012 to be there to be beautiful women around men (the bad ass normal (hot woman) trope).   Also, the idea they had to kill Natasha off because she ~could never have a family!~ as if childless women don’t exist happily is pretty rough or because she could never deal with the mental stress of her old life…yet Hawkeye, Fury, all these male killers can adjust to life just fine, except for Gravik who apparently can’t get over killing so he kills Talos and Maria and all those other skrulls and people? Uhhh ok? Natasha gets a sad cold lonely death—at least a choice by her, a sacrifice to save everyone so Clint can go home to his wife and kids—after she spent five years doing Fury’s work because he died in the snap. Maria gets a sad cold lonely CRUEL death with nothing wrapped up and for no point. 

So, Marvel then decides they want to make a Nick Fury project and to be honest I don’t feel like many people were asking or pushing for this… but sure let’s give a look into his life for some reason, cause he’s a man and he deserves it! It’s true that Fury also doesn’t have very much development but some his mystery and intrigue actually makes Fury cool. Like he’s a private person, he has to be because of his job.  What we learn about him... is that all of his success was from Skrulls and women propping him up. So Marvel removes Talos and Maria from the story (but still makes sure Talos gets a family and a full on fucking funeral while Maria gets a body transfer and some random lady pathetically guilting Fury which didn’t even work) Marvel knows no one is gonna watch that shit if they find out it’s a short run for Hill and Talos and Ross and advertises this show as Fury + Friends spy thriller boots on the ground!! NO SUPERS!! What is it instead? A barely comprehensible loose outline where no one has ANY development at all there is no spy thriller storyline and there are ALIENS AND SUPERS THE ALIENS ARE THE SUPERS!!  The the Super Aliens just kill the Fury Friends the regular way with a gun and a stab…. Then Fury who insists he is one step ahead and there’s a chess theme all around has so many awkward flubbed supposed to be cool lines and they make no sense. 

Let’s look at them for a minute: 

“Even when I’m out I’m in!”  Yeah… he’s so IN that he couldn’t spot a totally obvious trap that gets his No. 1 ally killed right off the bat? Yeah welcome back to earth… he’s so in he only prepared his team FOR A BOMBING with infrared glasses, A+ game.

“Nobody calls me Nick” - Except the long history of many people calling him Nick, I don’t even know why this was a tell and this whole scene was so weird why would a skrull care about the human’s son sure idk makes sense���…and also Talos is his close friend so if the allowance is that only his close friends can call him Nick, it wouldn’t be weird if Talos did…… ….. 

“No one can defend the world like I can” - says a man who can’t even defend his team from a knife and a gun…! This whole show just makes Fury look really really dumb and really really bad at his job and then he didn’t even do it he just left after assisting in creating even more chaos. 

Is the point of this show that Fury is a delusional narcissist who never should have come back from SABER and probably maybe should have never been the head of SHIELD? So far this is my take away. What if this whole show is a set up for a Fury exit? That would make the most sense because after this circus you don’t got it buddy. No one really wanted a Nick Fury solo project. In fact, killing off Nick Fury’s allies who have propped him up for years so he can take all the credit for the win is very telling about the problems that exist in Marvel story telling. It really is too bad because this could have been a great set up for a Fury exit and if they just killed off Maria so she wouldn’t replace him in the next movies I think that’s unbelievable, the woman could have retired and gone to the real Tahiti, she doesn’t have to work forever? I think it’s fine if Monica takes over and with Maria gone she’s who I hope does but I always thought it was great to have a non super be the one doing it. Also Maria has to die to not get a promotion? We don’t even know where or what she is working on or who for, maybe she has different ambitions now, geeze Marvel. 

I think a more fun plot for Secret Invasion is that Talos and Maria figure this shit out and get Nick Fury into gear—and they do it alive! I mean if they want to do this sad boi act, I think that’s fine but I he can’t just go from beach boy happy to suddenly so sad and pathetic in one year? It’s a much more interesting story to have the people around him get him together after he spent all his life getting them together!! People can be separated from their allies without dying?? And killing characters to show us THIS SHOW IS SERIOUS it’s just kinda dumb it’s already serious there’s one million shape shifting skulls and a skrull army trying to take over earth with super DNA and eradicate all people in a nuclear holocaust... but not enough stakes! If you wanted more stakes maybe don’t show off that Fury is gonna be in the Marvels before his show comes out, yeah? We know it’s fake we get that some people will die but to kill them in these dumb ways that does nothing for the story is so god damn stupid. Having Rhodey have been a skrull since Civil War? THAT IS FUCKED UP. No way. That totally ruins such great moments with him. This is not thought out. I am still wondering why Cobie said she had a lot of scenes with Don and I hope it is for something somewhere… but now I just don’t know. 

The writing in Secret Invasion is bad.  The cuts and edits are also bad. The plot twists aren’t really twists at all.  In fact, there is not a single plot twist that wasn’t obvious from the get go. This whole show could have been a 5 minute clip at the start of the Marvels…people learn about the skulls and that they had kidnapped people and were pretending to be others, all chaos breaks loose on earth. 

Plot gaps I am still mad about that we will never find answers on:

Why are Ross and Hill in Moscow? Was Maria tracking Ross and intercepted his call? That could have been SO COOL. But nothing on that front. Were they working together, what were they doing? Why would Ross call Maria for extraction if he had the top secret Gravik plans unless he wanted Maria to see them or know of them? What exactly is Maria’s job now and how can she just drop it all to go help Nick Fury? Was she still working for Fury this whole time? How if he keeps ignoring her? WHEN ROSS DIED AND CHANGED INTO AN ALIEN DID THEY JUST LEAVE HIM THERE? MARIA AND FURY DIDN’T TELL ANYONE, DIDN’T SOMEONE NOTICE THAT ROSS WAS MISSING???? 

Why would Hill contact Nick for Talos if Talos can contact Nick? Why would Hill contact Nick and tell him to come back if she was going to tell him to sit this one out? Why would Nick, a man who isn’t supposed to be on earth and that people are looking for, go out to a bar with Maria? Why and how was Gravik at the bar before Nick?

Why do Nick, Maria, and Talos have infrared glasses but not protective vests? Where did Maria’s glasses go?  When Maria was looking at Gravik as Nick wouldn’t she have noticed he raised his gun up to shoot her? She was literally looking directly at him. If she saw Nick with a gun out at a bombing she wouldn’t take hers out too? Why would Gravik shoot Maria in the stomach and not like the heart like he shot G’iah? Did Gravik and Skrull Rhodey decide to shoot Maria from the start at the bombing or did Gravik just do it by chance? If the whole plan was to use her death as leverage against Fury why wasn’t it ACTUALLY leveraged against Fury? Why did this not get wrapped up.  When did Maria, Talos, and Fury lose all sense of reality where they think they are invincible against bombs?? Like how was this the plan HOW WAS THIS THE REAL PLAN?  Most importantly, why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Why was Maria not wearing a vest? Not like a gay vest, like a protective vest? 

Why would Maria notice G’iah at all and what is the purpose of their fight in the tunnel other than to give Maria a scratch on her nose so no one can think it wasn’t a different Maria that died? Like that was it? How does Maria lose a fight to G’iah??? Why does G’iah just change sides and why does Talos and Nick believe G’iah changed sides just like that. After it was a set up, why do they still trust and believe her? If Gravik is broken from all the killing he’s done for Fury why did he kill Maria and Talos?

Why did Nick only go to the body transfer and not her actual funeral, why didn’t he go to Talos’ funeral? I am sorry but for Maria that is not fucking funeral. It was literally just the transport of her body and why did they bring Maria’s mom out to that?? Does Maria have two moms? And Why did Nick only talk to one of them? Why did the cast Maria’s mom to guilt Nick into getting his shit together when still hasn’t even gotten his shit together and just goes home to his wife and is all happy?  The only thing I learned from this show is that Nick Fury fucking sucks now, like yikes? His mental crisis comes at the expense of many innocent people and he does little to show gratitude or care for others. I get it’s Nick’s story but why bring Maria back to pick him up and then just die and serve no purpose to the story? 

WHERE WAS MARIA IN FAR FROM HOME? Was she on a mental health break or does only Nick Fury get to do that? Why wasn’t Nick thanking Maria for taking care of shit while he was up in space? Instead he was kinda of rude to her a few times — but I guess this is what we learned about Nick is that everyone else props him up and he thankless about it?  He makes a huge fucking mess again and then goes back up to space? Couldn’t this whole skrull reveal be where SECRET INVASION STARTS AND NOT WHERE IT ENDS? Idk why they made this show, except to make a nice pay day to Cobie? It’s really too bad because Marvel should have taken the opportunity to usher Maria in as a new lead for when Fury retires, people know her, Cobie has a huge following, and people like her and it would have been such a great way to tie in the old phase one people with the new phase 5 people. G’iah taking over for Fury would be very stupid, the whole point of Fury / Maria / Coulson is that they are bad ass normals. G’iah taking over would be dumb and no one is going to know who she is since she’s not going to be tied into the Marvels, which makes NO SENSE? Sigh. I guess Maria will never get her moment. RIP.

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

Connected ch1

pairing: chan x reader

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

word count: ~1.3k

synopsis: upset reader comments on chans room, chan sees it and privately reaches out to reader to comfort them.

warnings: crying, brief mention of dying (like as a joke), christopher using his rizz, i think that’s all?

an: this is a repost from my recently deceased blog hyunjins-orange-slice. may she rest in peace. this was originally a request from a moot but now has turned into a full series!

masterlist * next chapter

your phone dinged with a notification. wiping the tears from your cheeks, you pick up the device.

youtube: Stray Kids is Live- 찬이의 “방” 🐺 ep.209

you clicked on the link. the screen shows the studio, chans empty chair, the chat moving so quickly you struggle to read it, and FAM plays softly in the background.

you prop your phone up on the pillow next to you, curling your body on its side, sniffling still but finding comfort in the livestream.

as the song comes to an end, chan takes his seat. “안녕하세요“ he sing songs, smiling. and you smile too.

the live goes on for a little over an hour, and by the end of it you’re feeling a bit better. but you have a sneaking suspicion that once the video ends, so will your happiness. even the thought of that steals away some of your joy.

“stayyy im going to go.” he says. “감사합니다“

he waits a moment as more comments roll in. he reads through them.

‘no don’t go!’ ‘bye channie! remember to rest and eat well!’. ‘사랑해요~~’ ‘big hug??’

you read through the chat the best you could, and you normally don’t comment. but today you weren’t having the best day and his live really helped you, if only for a moment. so you click on the chat bar and begin typing.

“chan, im having a pretty rough day today, but your big hugs always help! thank you for this livestream ❤️”

you hesitated for a moment. reading your comment over and over, wondering if it sounded too cheesy. you decided that it totally sounded too cheesy, but the live was ending and what are the odds of him seeing it anyway? so you press send.

he’s still looking down at his phone, reading the comments.

“you’re having a rough day?” he reads aloud, looking up into the camera. your stomach dropped, and the eye contact was making you blush. “i’m sorry you’re having a bad day.” he pouted. “i’m glad i could help a little.” he smiles and then stands. “for everyone who’s having a bad day, or for anyone who may want one, let’s do a hug” he spreads his arms out wide, “biiiig hugggg” he says, leaning toward the screen.

you knew the smile on your face was goofy as hell, but you didn’t care. you couldn’t help it. he sat back down and said his outro, thanking the stays and doing his signature pose, and then the screen went black.

the smile stayed on your face for longer than you expected. but then the day came crashing back to you, the same thoughts, the same fears plaguing your brain. you let out a sad sigh. you could feel the tears coming on again, so you grabbed your switch, deciding you would try to occupy your brain with video games so you wouldn’t be thinking about your life (mood).

you played for hours, your thumbs moving furiously over the joysticks, until eventually you fell into a fitful sleep. you awoke in the middle of the night from yet another nightmare, your heart beating out of your chest, your face and pillow wet with your tears. you reach for your phone in the darkness to check the time. 2am. but that’s not the only thing you see on your screen. you have an instagram messenger notification. you were instantly confused. no one ever messages you on instagram. you cautiously opened the app and clicked the messages in the top corner. what you saw next had your heart seizing. you had accepted your fate. this was how you died and honestly.. you were okay with it. because on your screen, staring back at you, was a message from bang chan. like thee bang chan. like christopher bahng himself. complete with blue check mark and all.

you sat bolt upright in bed, suddenly not sleepy at all but at full attention. you clicked on his message.

“hey this might be weird.. and im not even sure if you’re the right person im looking for. but this picture and username matches the one on youtube?” -9:04pm

“is that weird? it’s weird.” -9:06pm

“i’m sorry ㅋㅋ“ -9:07pm

“did you comment on a live stream of mine that you were having a bad day? if not, this is totally embarrassing and ignore this.” -9:08pm

“oh, you’re probably sleeping” -9:30pm

“sorry again.” -9:31pm

•

you chuckled at his messages. they seemed very… chan. but then the realization hit you. do you message him back? of course you do. every stay dreams of this moment. so you should send him a message. right? yes. definitely reply. but what do you say?

‘oh my god’ you type and erase. ‘yeah that’s me’ erase ‘i’m such a big fan’ erase ‘sorry if i bothered you’ erase

damn this was hard. what do you even say to a famous person?

hands shaking, you settle on a response and type it out before taking a deep breath and hitting send.

“you found me! totally not weird. and yeah i commented on chans room. today wasn’t the best but you made it so much better. thank you!” -2:38am

after you sent the message, you couldn’t stop yourself from reading it over and over, analyzing everything you said. you had decided it was a weird message and you shouldn’t have sent it. you were about to freak out when he responded.

“i’m glad you were the right person! i’m relieved ㅋㅋ” -2:45am

“i just wanted to check in with you. make sure you’re okay. if that’s okay.” -2:45am

you couldn’t believe this. he’s so sweet for checking on you. your heart swelled. you quickly typed out a response to him, knowing his time is valuable and probably limited at this moment.

“that’s so nice of you. i’m doing okay. i distracted myself with video games. haha.” -2:48am

“well i did until i fell asleep and had a nightmare.” -2:48am

“you had a nightmare? i’m sorry to hear that.” -2:50am

“i wish i could go live every time you needed me.” -2:50am

he is literally the sweetest human and you thought you may cry.

“you don’t have time for that. you’re so so busy. one hour with you earlier helped me so much, truly. you’ve already done so much.” -2:53am

“not if you’re having nightmares.” -2:55am

“that’s not your fault tho, chan.” -2:56am

“chan?” -2:57am

“sounds so formal. ㅋㅋ” -2:57am

“well.. that’s your name. so… haha” -2:58am

“i think i prefer channie. ㅋㅋ” -3:00am

“or you can just call me your boyfriend.” -3:00am

you squealed and giggled, kicking your feet under your covers. he did not just say that.

“maybe i should just call you chrizztopher.” -3:02am

“ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ” -3:03am

“that works too. ㅋㅋ” -3:03am

“i’m sorry, but i have to go now. busy busy.” 3:04am

your heart fell a little, but you know how busy he is and you got more time with him than most people, so you were happy.

“that’s okay! thank you for checking on me. it was very kind. ❤️” -3:06am

“oooh hearts. i like hearts. ❤️❤️❤️” -3:07am

“good night. and if you have another nightmare, message me. i’ll have my notifications on.” -3:07am

you had the thought that the world does not deserve bang chan. and what did you do to deserve him? you felt so lucky.

“thank you channie. don’t work too hard.” -3:08am

and then he was gone. off to record some music, or write some music, or take some pictures, or do an interview, you didn’t know. but you fell back asleep with a smile on your face and for the first time in a long time, you slept through the night.

to be added to the taglist for this series, just let me know.

🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender No Outbreak AU - Ch. 5

The Miller family grows. The final part of the Lavender No Outbreak AU, continued from Ch. 1-4 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut :), Some slurs (anti-LGBTQIA+ - they are immediately rebuked). No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 4.3k

Tuesday, September 14, 2021 

“Hey Doc?” Jess slid up beside you at the nurses station where you were reviewing charts. “That one kid from Boston is here for the trial? She’s that special case?” 

“Oh right,” you said. “God, thank you for reminding me. Swear I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached this week, I’m just all over the map.” 

You’d been scrambling for weeks to get everything in place for the first clinical trial the hospital was facilitating since the COVID-19 pandemic. You hadn’t fully realized just how much the pandemic had taken out of you before that, just how much had changed. 

It was like you’d been in total crisis mode for a year, all the time. It had damn near fried your brain. You basically lived at the hospital. When you were home, you slept in the garage, where Joel had set up a cot and TV and a loveseat, too afraid of getting him or Evie sick to go in the house. You smiled at your husband and daughter through glass, wanting more than anything to just touch them. The second everyone was vaccinated, Joel held you for hours, clinging to you like a man at sea clings to a life raft. 

It was so hard, now, to do anything normal. Your mind kept scattering, trying to find the crisis that needed solving first before it could do anything like planning or building things out. Arranging the trial had been an uphill slog. 

“What’s this kid’s name again?” You asked. 

“Ellie,” she replied. “She’s a character, I think you’ll like her.” 

Jess knocked once on the door to the hospital room and opened it. Inside was a small girl, maybe 12, playing a video game on the TV. Something where she was shooting zombies. You smiled a little. She paused it. 

“Hi Ellie,” Jess smiled. “I wanted to introduce you to Dr. Miller, she’s going to be running your trial and the lead doctor on your case.” 

“Hi Ellie,” you smiled. She looked you up and down. 

“Hi,” she said. “So you’re the one who’s going to go poking around with my blood and junk?” 

“Yup,” you popped the p. “We’re going to run some tests, steal as much blood of yours as we can to feed the vampires in the basement, and then hopefully get you so that you’re not coming in and dealing with people like me quite so much. Sound good?” 

She considered you seriously. 

“You really think you can make a difference?” She asked. “Because going to the hospital all the time is kind of bullshit.” 

You laughed a little. 

“Yeah, that must get old real quick,” you said. “And it’s probably not fun having to give up your blood and stuff all the time, huh?” 

“Yeah, that part really sucks,” she slumped back in her pillows.

You frowned, getting the sense that she wanted to say something else. 

“Want to tell me all the stuff that sucks about it?” You asked, coming and sitting on the edge of her bed. “I might be able to help.” 

“Can you help find me parents who will deal with taking me to the hospital all the time if this doesn’t work?” She asked. “Because I’m pretty sure having a broken kid is a deal breaker when the people who want to adopt someone start shopping around.” 

Your heart broke a little in that moment. Her face was hard, her small chin jutting out defiantly, but she was hurting. You knew she was.

“Well if they wouldn’t take care of you when you’re not feeling well, they’re not the kinds of parents you’d want anyway,” you said. 

“How would you know?” She muttered. 

“I don’t have parents either,” you shrugged. She looked at you, skeptical. “And not just because I’m old. I never had parents, my dad left before I was born and my mom left two months after she had me. It sucks, I get it. 

“But trust me, there are a lot of parents I see in here who are good and a lot who aren’t. And the not good ones? It’s better to have no parents than them,” you said. “So really, you just have built in protection. Immunity from the extra crappy parents.” 

She laughed once. 

“Maybe I should keep the screwed up blood then,” she said. 

“Nah, think we’ll fix that,” you said. “Make sure you’re all set and ready to take it easy once you’re a grown up. Just give all the potential parents a really tough questionnaire. See if you can trip them up. You seem smart, I think you can weed them out with enough practice. OK?” 

“OK,” she half smiled at you. 

The rest of the day went by and your mind kept drifting back to Ellie. You grabbed Jess on her way down to the cafeteria. 

“Hey,” you said quickly. “Ellie, where is she staying while she’s here for the trial?” 

“One of the group homes,” she said. “It’s not ideal but it’s the only arrangement we could come up with and the trial would be really good for her…” 

You nodded slowly and thanked her before ducking outside and calling Joel. 

“Hey Baby,” he answered. You were almost surprised. His contracting business had picked up quite a bit in recent years and he spent most of his days running from job site to job site to manage progress. He couldn’t always answer the phone on the job.

“I know you’re busy so I’ll make it quick,” you said. “How would you feel about becoming foster parents?” 

Tuesday, October 5, 2021 

You got your third daughter for your 43rd birthday. 

Jess had helped speed you and Joel through the process to get approved to take her home, Sarah almost strangely OK with you dismantling her old room to make it something Ellie would like, excited about getting her new sister.

You’d given Ellie your tablet one day during lunch, letting her go on Amazon and pick out bedding and decorations for her room. You’d had to transfer care for her to another doctor - though she still got to stick with the trial - but it was worth it. 

She and Joel became such fast friends it almost made your head spin. You introduced the two one day when he came by to meet you for lunch. Ellie was playing her zombie game and he asked if he could join in. 

“Don’t want you dragging my stats down,” she said. 

“Think I can keep up,” he replied. She looked skeptical but handed him the second controller, anyway. Joel, you were happy to say, did surprisingly well. He even tallied more kills than Ellie did. 

“No way,” she said. “We’re trading controllers, mine doesn’t work right.” 

“Tellin’ ya,” he said. “Nothin’ to do with the controller and everything to do with how you handle the scenario…” 

He traded controllers anyway. He bested her a second time, shrugging with a slight smile. 

“You dick!” She laughed. He laughed back. 

When you left the room he put his hands in his back pockets and sighed. 

“Can’t let her go to a group home,” he said. “Just throw her in the car and bring ‘er home, fuck the rules.” 

You kissed him, not sure you’d ever loved him more. 

“Oh cool, you didn’t say you had a pool!” She ran to the sliding glass door, pressing her nose against it before looking back at you. “Can you teach me to swim?” 

“Sure,” you smiled. “Might be a little cold to now but…” 

“Think I can handle it,” she replied. 

You showed her around the house, introduced her to Evie, left her to settle into her room and sat next to Joel on the couch. 

“Happy birthday, Baby,” he kissed your temple. “Been a good one?” 

“Oh cool!” Ellie stuck her head into the hall. “There’s a freaking telescope in here?” 

She ran back into her room. 

You smiled.

“Pretty damn good.” 

***

Tuesday, August 29, 2023 

Joel wasn’t exactly thrilled to get a call from Ellie’s school when they’d barely been back a week. 

“Mr. Miller,” the woman on the phone said. “I’m afraid we couldn’t reach your wife but Ellie has been fighting at school…” 

“On my way,” he replied, yelling instructions to Tommy as he jogged to his truck. 

He wasn’t quite sure what to do here. Sarah and Evie had hardly been scrappy girls. Sure, they had some behavioral issues here and there - Evie got into the bad habit of sneaking out of the house her senior year of high school, something that worried both you and Joel to no end. 

But neither of them had ever thrown a punch. 

At least, as far as he knew. 

Ellie, strangely, was more like him than either of his biological daughters. He saw it when she played her video games, the way she got worked up and invested in them. He saw it when she noticed some kind of injustice and stomped off to try to handle it herself, resorting almost immediately to physical solutions instead of trying to talk it out. Joel understood her better than you did. 

But even though Ellie was on the scrappy side, he doubted she’d have started hitting someone unless she had a damn good reason. He just needed to figure out what it was. 

You pulled into the parking lot behind him, parking alongside his truck. 

“Hey Baby,” he pulled you in for a quick kiss. “They said they couldn’t reach you.” 

“Yeah, I was closing when they called,” you replied. “I got the message only a few minutes later and just got changed and ran over… There has to be a reason, right? I mean, Ellie is Ellie but she wouldn’t hit someone without a damn good reason.” 

He smiled a little at you. 

“Told you lately that I fuckin’ love you?” He asked. “Because I fuckin’ love you.” 

You led the way into the building, beelining for the administration offices. Joel recognized the look in your eyes. It was the look you got when something had pissed you off and you were going to fix it, come hell or high water. 

It was a look that had made you advance at the hospital, knowing exactly when to use your tenacity to go after something you thought needed to change, knowing exactly how to go about it to make it happen. Whether it was making nice with the right people or going scorched earth, you always seemed to find the right way to navigate it. 

Joel almost felt sorry for the staff as you walked into the office. He knew your scorched earth look when he saw it. 

“Hi,” you said. “We’re the Millers, Ellie Williams’ parents. We were told she was here?” 

“Of course,” the woman led the two of you back to a counselor’s office. 

Ellie was sitting in the corner, arms crossed, her eye black. She looked pissed, like she was on the verge of tears.

“Oh Baby Girl,” Joel went and dropped to his knee in front of her, taking his face in his hand. “Who hit you?” 

“Stupid girl,” she muttered. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Miller,” the counselor smiled tightly. “I’m afraid we have a problem here.” 

“Yes,” you said, not taking the woman’s outstretched hand. “I’m afraid we do. Is there a reason my daughter clearly hasn’t been to the nurse’s office? She doesn’t have an ice pack for her eye, who knows what other injuries she might have…” 

“Well, the girl Ellie hit is in the nurse’s office now,” the woman responded, defensive. “We can send Ellie down after…” 

“No need,” you replied. “She’ll be coming home with us until we can establish whether or not your school can provide competent care for our child.” 

“Well, your child hit another student,” she said. “In front of several teachers. She threw the first punch. The first several, actually…” 

“She started it!” Ellie yelled. You gave her a look and she sat back in her chair, muttering. “Well, she did….” 

“Did you talk to this other girl?” You asked the counselor, eyebrows raised. “Or did you just blame my child because she’s newer to the district and in foster care?” 

“I can assure you, Ellie’s status had nothing to do…” 

“Ellie,” you turned to her. “Why did you hit the other girl?” 

She looked at you for a second before looking to Joel, her eyes pleading. 

“Come on, Baby Girl,” he said. “You have to tell us what happened or we can’t help you.” 

“It… it involves bad words,” she glanced at the counselor. 

“You can say them,” Joel said, looking at the counselor too, all but daring her to try to tell him otherwise. 

Ellie sighed. 

“She called my friend Riley a dyke,” she looked to the floor. “Said she was going to burn in hell…” 

“And that’s when you hit her?” You asked, voice calm. 

“No,” Ellie looked up. “Then she said that she wanted to kill all the dykes to send them to hell faster. Then I hit her.” 

Joel felt his blood get hot. Didn’t matter that it was toward another teenager, Joel wanted someone to hurt. He glanced to you, your jaw squared, and you looked back toward the counselor. 

“So you just let children in your school use genocidal language toward other students?” You asked. 

“Mrs. Miller…” 

“It’s Dr. Miller, actually,” you cut her off. “Since you apparently didn’t bother to look in Ellie’s file and see what her foster mother does for a living, I’ll fill you in. I’m the chief of pediatric surgery for the largest hospital system in Austin which means I know every single social worker in the county. I’ve treated the children of some of the most powerful people in the state because they seek me out. I am more than willing to call in every single favor that I have - which I promise is a lot - and leverage every single cent I own to personally destroy you and everyone in this district who allows such behavior to run unchecked. I will orchestrate a PR nightmare so thorough you won’t recover for years. You will have to beg Ronald McDonald for a job slinging fries by the time I’m done with you, do you understand me?” 

The woman glanced at Joel who just shrugged. He wasn’t about to help her. She was lucky she was dealing with you, you were just threatening her livelihood. He was tempted to threaten her life.  

“If you want to keep your job,” you said. “You’re going to investigate this incident as thoroughly as possible. You are going to remove that other girl from this school before she hurts anyone else. You are going to institute new training procedures so your faculty and staff know how to handle incidents with LGBTQ students because, apparently, that needs some improvement around here. Think you can handle that?” 

“I’ll discuss it with the principal,” her eyes were a little wide. Joel smirked. 

“Good,” you replied. “I’ll be in touch to follow up. In the mean time, I’m going to take Ellie home as an excused absence to make sure she receives appropriate medical attention for injuries she received while under your care. I’ll also be reaching out to my attorney to make sure any and all liability in this case is appropriately considered.” 

You stood up and Ellie stood up with you. You put your arm around her. 

“Come on,” you said. “We’re going home.” 

Ellie pressed herself against your side and gave you a quick hug before she climbed in Joel’s car. 

“For the record,” Joel said. “Not sure I’ve ever wanted to fuck you more than when you were chewing out that counselor.” 

“Good to know I can still turn you on,” you teased before you sighed. “So, Ellie’s friend…” 

“Always kinda figured,” he shrugged. “She’ll tell us when she’s ready.” 

“Yeah,” you said. “See you at home?” 

He kissed you. 

“Hopefully more than see you.” 

That night at dinner, Ellie only picked at her food, moving it around on her plate. 

“We’re not mad at you, Baby Girl,” Joel said, looking at her. “You know that, right?” 

She sighed. 

“I know.” 

“Want to talk about anything?” You asked. 

“You called me your daughter,” she said. 

Joel looked at you for a moment. 

“Well yeah,” Joel shrugged. “That’s how we think of you. We can use another word if you’d rather but…” 

“OK but if I’m your daughter why haven’t you tried to adopt me?” She asked, looking between you. “I mean, if you just don’t want to…” 

“Oh Baby Girl,” Joel leaned in closer to her. “Do you want us to adopt you? Because we just didn’t want to do anything that you weren’t askin’ for. We’d love nothing more than to adopt you.” 

“Really?” She asked. 

“Of course!” You smiled. “What, you think we let just any ol’ gremlin come in here? Just the special ones.” 

She smiled a little at that. 

“Cool.” 

You started the paperwork in the morning. 

Saturday, October 7, 2023 

Joel had been looking for a good reason to take all his girls camping and your birthday seemed to be a good a reason as any. 

Sarah came with Brandon and Carson, who was now five. Evie was happy for an excuse to get away from college after a bad breakup with her girlfriend. Ellie was just excited to get to spend more time with her sisters. Even Tommy came with his wife, Maria. Just when they’d started to expect him to never settle down, he met the perfect woman. Unlike Joel, he wasted no time in locking her down, a fact he loved to rub in. 

And Joel? He was just happy to have all his favorite people under one roof. 

He’d rented a cabin big enough that you and him would have some space - since he fully intended on making you cum until you couldn’t see straight - and grabbed steak and hot dogs and enough junk food to feed a small army. 

Sarah still lit her marshmallows on fire for Smores but Joel caught her stealing some of Brandon’s less burned ones when they were all around the campfire one night. He took Carson and Ellie down to the lake and taught them both how to fish while you and Sarah stayed back at the cabin to chat, the two of you still the best of friends decades after he’d first hired you to be her nanny. He made the mistake of letting you pick the hike one day and he paid the price when Evie - who’d always been clumsy - twisted her ankle. Joel had to carry her back to camp, you cursing yourself for not packing more first aid supplies in your hiking bag. Ellie set up her telescope in a clearing and spent hours looking at the stars, far enough from the city lights that she was in awe of them. 

“Good birthday?” Joel asked as you climbed into bed beside him the last night there. 

“Perfect birthday,” you kissed him. 

His hands drifted to your breast and you smiled against his mouth. 

“Some things never change, do they?” You teased. 

“You stop wantin’ it and I’ll stop doin’ it,” he replied, sliding a hand over your body to your leg, hitching it over his hip. 

“You know me so well.” 

He undressed you slowly, taking his time touching you everywhere he knew you loved his fingers to linger. When you tugged his pants down, you took his length in your hand, working him up and down for a moment, before you took him in your mouth, so hot and wet he had to stop himself from moaning too loud. You sucked him slowly, working your way down his thick shaft until you were nearly choking on him before going back up again, moving harder and faster each time, your tongue pressing against the thick vein that ran on the underside of him. 

“Fuck, Baby,” he groaned. “Tryin’ to make me cum before I’m even inside you?” 

You choked out something that sounded like a ‘no’ from around his cock and he groaned. 

“You get just another minute of that,” he said, straining to keep his composure. “Want to cum inside your pussy, not your mouth.” 

Just when he felt like he couldn’t take anymore, he grabbed your hair and pulled you off him, panting for breath. You wiped your mouth. 

“Here I thought you liked that,” you whispered. 

“More than liked it,” he muttered, grabbing your hips and yanking you toward him with a quiet yelp followed by a giggle. “Gonna have to do something to make sure you keep bein’ that good to me…” 

He dipped his fingers into you, making you groan. He smiled. 

“This wet just from suckin’ me off?” He breathed. You moaned in response. “Fucking hell, you really are the perfect woman…” 

He added another finger and leaned down, taking your clit into his mouth, sucking and licking you while his fingers opened you until you came so hard it felt like you might snap off his fingers.

Joel slipped his fingers from you and ran them over his cock, using your wetness to make him slick enough to enter you. He notched his head against you and settled between your legs, pressing into you in one firm, demanding stroke. 

“Fuck,” you panted, your back arching. “So full…” 

“Love you full of me,” he said, grinding himself against you before pulling back and pushing into you again. 

Your arms went around his neck as he picked up the pace, pressing his cock all the way into you with each stroke. You pushed yourself up off the bed and he smiled, kissing you as he helped you to straddle his lap while he was still inside you. He held you close while you rose and fell over him, thrusting up to meet you with every firm stroke. Your breasts bounced with the force of it, your head tilted back in pleasure as he sucked and licked his way up and down your throat. 

“Joel,” you breathed. “Want to cum with you. So close…” 

“Fuck Baby,” he groaned as you moved harder, faster, angling your hips so his stomach pressed into your clit while his head caught on the spot inside you that made you moan. He liked to think of that spot as his place in you, where he’d been made to reach and satisfy. Never did he feel as complete as when he was inside you, making you cum around him. 

“Joel,” you gasped as you started to cum again, clinging to him with your whole body. He thrust into you once more before filling you. 

“Love you so much,” he kissed you, your body pressed tight against his own. “Fuck, I love you.” 

When things went back to the normal routine after the camping trip, Joel printed off a picture that Sarah had taken on her phone during the hike. It was just before Evie had twisted her ankle and everyone was smiling, the frame filled with the faces of everyone Joel had ever loved. 

He wrote on the back of the picture, as though he’d ever forget who any of you were to him: “My girls + Carson, Me, Tommy, Maria and Brandon - October, 2023.” 

You worked until after seven that night. Joel made dinner - nothing like what you could do but you kissed him like you thought it was a gourmet meal all the same - and Ellie was out with her friend Riley. 

“Anything you in the mood for this evening?” He asked, pouring you another glass of wine. 

“Nothing in particular,” you smiled. “Oh, we could watch When Harry Met Sally! Such fantastic fall vibes…” 

“I think I can handle that,” he smiled a little. 

“I mean, it is your favorite movie,” you smiled back. “I’ll clean up if you want to get it queued up?” 

He found the movie on the Apple TV and was about to set it to play when he glanced at the record player in the corner. You’d painted little purple flowers along one side of it. They’d faded and chipped a bit since but he still loved those little flowers, a physical representation of you. He lit the candle on the coffee table - lavender scented, one of your favorites. He pulled out Slowhand and set it to play Wonderful Tonight just as he heard the water cut off in the kitchen. You laughed, leaning in the doorway to the living room. 

“Clapton, hm?” You asked, eyebrows raised. 

“Well, when the song stops bein’ true, I’ll stop playin’ it,” he held his hand out to you. You smiled hugely and took it, tucking yourself against him. He held you close, swaying in time to the music, the smell of lavender on the air. 

You stretched up to kiss him as the song ended and Joel turned the record player off before settling in beside you on the couch, glass of wine in hand. 

“I think our little ‘how we met video’ for this movie would be fun,” you said during the opening credits. “Me, a college girl with a crush…” 

“Me, an old man who was practically head over heels for you from first sight,” he said. 

You laughed. 

“Think we’ve made a pretty good go of it though,” you looked up at him through your eyelashes. 

He smiled and kissed your forehead, surrounded by your warmth, the signs of the children you’d raised with him, and the smell of lavender. 

“Wouldn’t change a damn thing.” 

A/N: Thank you so much for reading this overly long exercise in "What would happen if?" I like to think this version of Doc and Joel are living in Austin right now, happy with their girls.

Thanks for being here, thanks for sticking with it, thanks for being a part of this. Love you all!

[t-0ne25]

(7) the conservatory

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You’re hitting two birds with one stone here. The conservatory isn’t only a good hideout in general – granting you lots of space behind the countless enormous plants. It’s also the one area of the cottage you haven’t been able to go to in all these years.

Seungmin is very serious when it’s about his plants. He treats them like his babies. No, correction. They are his babies. That’s why he doesn’t allow anyone to enter it on a normal occasion. But he said it’s fine for this game now, even though you know he would prefer it if no one chooses this as their hiding place.

Hopefully, this will mean no one will be with you and Minho won’t find you here.

Your expectations are falsified, however, when you find none other than the house owner himself hiding behind the same plant you had chosen for yourself.

“Ha! What happened to ‘don’t hide in the conservatory’, huh?”

Seungmin chuckles, feeling caught even though you’re not even the seeker in this game. “Maybe it was my plan so that no one chooses this spot except for me.”

“Well, I’m here now, too, I guess.”

“You can stay, Y/N. Don’t worry.”

You bow, pretending to thank him for his generosity.

“Thanks for not feeding me to the wolves aka Lee Minho.”

Seungmin plays along, placing his hand on his chest, a faux shocked expression on his face.

“I would never. You’re my best companion when it comes to teasing Chan. I can’t lose you, Y/N.”

He is correct with that. Seungmin has grown a habit of teasing the oldest and your neighbour is the secret favourite candidate when it comes to deciding who’s the best comedian of the group.

But he can be serious, too. Actually, he was the first one to know about the breakup with Hyunjin and helped you a lot, especially the first evening after it happened. Seungmin has always made sure to make you feel comfortable and safe at any time given.

You catch yourself ogling him for a second too long and when he notices too, you switch your gaze towards the huge window, finding the sky filled with stars.

“That’s so pretty.”

“Hm, that’s why it’s my favourite part of the house,” Seungmin confesses, scooting a bit closer to you. He can feel his heartbeat increasing, now realising how near he is to you, hiding in a room with only you.

“I could watch the stars for hours.”

Seungmin smiles at you but you’re unable to see it, your eyes glued to the sparkling dots far away from you.

“We can watch them for longer. Later. If you want to.” His sentence leaves his lips in brackets.

“Sure.”

Minho finds you a minute later anyway and after everyone went to their rooms, already fully asleep, Seungmin and you meet up inside the conservatory again.

“You know,” you start once you flaunt into the room, “I feel quite honoured to be allowed in here.”

Seungmin chuckles and offers you some mulled wine he has prepared for the both of you, waiting on a sprawled out blanket on the floor. It looks like a little picnic, especially with the snacks he’s brought with him.

“Of course, Y/N. You’re the only one except for me who’s allowed in here.”

You take a seat right next to him, making yourself comfortable, and start looking at all the stars up high in the sky, their numbers by now increased.

“Thank you, Minnie,” you reply, taking a sip from the hot wine.

That nickname. Seungmin always feels his knees go weak at that fucking nickname.

Your friend answers all your questions regarding the night sky, impressing you with all his knowledge. You’re diving into the depths of astrophysics by now and you soon realise Seungmin is a total nerd about anything space related.

It’s adorable. Well, he already is totally adorable but you can feel your heart melt during this whole scene. The fact he’s prepared all of this as well, staying up late just so he can show you the beauty of the sky it’s as if–

As if he might like you?

No. It can’t be. It’s probably something he’d do with any of his friends. Although friends don’t look at each other like this. But Seungmin does. He’s staring at you as if he’s trying to find stars in your eyes instead of the sky above him.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N.”

“Is that the reason you brought me here, Minnie?” You flirt back.

“No. I wanted to be here with you. But that’s not some strategy I used, please don’t think of me that way.”

You shake your head no, “I don’t. Don’t worry. I feel comfortable in your company.”

Some time filled with silence passes, but on autopilot you both scoot a bit closer to each other, still completely mesmerised by the universe’s artwork above you.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, too,” Seungmin says after what felt like eternity. “I just wasn’t sure– you know, because of him. If it’s too soon or anything.”

Right. Your ex boyfriend. It’s as if you’ve almost forgotten he’s attending the trip as well. Seungmin really seems to be able to let you focus on something else.

“Don’t worry about him, Minnie. Don’t even mention him, yeah?”

He slightly nods, trusting your words. It’s not easy for him – trying to concentrate on the stars in the sky when you’re looking so ethereal next to him. Seungmin could faint at the sight. And he’s still so unsure if he should dare do another step.

He can feel his heartbeat giving up, especially, when you tilt your head towards him, staring right back into his eyes now. You don’t know if a second passes, a minute or an hour but you find yourself even closer to him, letting the distance disappear between the both of you, when you place your lips on his.

You’ve completely lost track of time, once Seungmin has you lying underneath him on the soft blanket, as he’s towering over you. He’s already grinding his hips into your own by now, attempting to deal with the tightening feeling in his pants with the help of some friction.

You let out a small moan, vibrations being sent into his mouth, as you part your legs a little further for him, groping his hardened length through the fabric of his clothing.

“Off with these, Minnie,” you beg and he immediately follows your orders, helping you out of your jeans after.

It’s a bit rushed, maybe, but neither of you are able to wait even a second longer. Seungmin caresses your wet folds with his fingers, coating your little sensitive nub in your own slickness. It feels like heaven, as if you’re close to the stars right above your head.

“Minnie– I can’t wait– need you inside of me.”

Your friend hastily nods, pulling his own remaining clothings down, too. He aligns his length with your heat, stabilising himself on his elbow and forearm. When he finally pushes inside, his whole length filling you up to the brim, you feel close to heaven.

“You feel so good, Y/N. So tight and wet for me, baby.”

His thrusting motions make you lose your mind, clearly. The pretty view on the other side of the window makes the scene even more magical than it already is. It’s as if you’re floating on the clouds, trying to reach those stars.

And you’re sure those stars in the sky will connect with the ones that are threatening to blind your vision, especially when Seungmin sneaks two fingers between your legs, continuing to play with your clit.

A minute later, you come undone underneath him, triggering his own orgasm in the process. Seungmin paints your lower stomach white with his juices, admiring the pretty sight – even prettier than the night sky.

“Thank you for this evening, Minnie.” He places a soft kiss on your lips.

“Everything for you, Y/N.”

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