#anyway if u see this pls come tell me about ur day ! i want to connect with other humans

[willowfey]

sometimes life is boohoo sad and then ur mom brings u back a creamy mango lemonade freeze with mango boba and hello kitty halloween spa things and suddenly u are woohoo glad

[nereidprinc3ss]

hii i love love how u write spencer omds🥸

uhh i was wondering if you could write sth based off the song “we’ll never have sex” by leith ross? pls dont feel pressured to write this btw😭😭😭 hope ur having a good day lovely💗💗

hello my love i have no self control so this is extremely long and plotty but i love this song and i hope that this is any good at all crying emoji (i'm on a laptop LOL) enjoy!!

warnings/tags: angst/fluff, fem!reader, negative self-talk from reader, mentions of past sexual coercion/feeling used, mentions of past excessive drinking to combat social anxiety, ive been watching a lot of new girl lately and i think it shows, SO FRIENDS TO LOVERS, happy ending

You weren’t expecting to end up on Spencer Reid’s worn-leather couch at two in the morning, clutching a chipped mug of coffee in your hands as you listen to the sounds of the city from the street below. But there you are, sitting with your legs folded under you, in your favorite dress and first date-night makeup (now bleeding and smudged from all the crying.) And realizing that despite considering him one of your closest friends, you haven’t been to his apartment in a long time. There are, of course, good reasons for that—but you try to push those from your mind. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” you sigh, staring at your warped reflection in the glassy black surface of your coffee. Spencer is coming out of the small kitchen, now bearing his own cup. 

“Please, stop apologizing.” 

You glance up, tentatively studying him from behind the safety of your mug. While he may not have been asleep when you knocked on his door ten minutes ago, lachrymose and barely verbal, he must have been getting ready for bed. He’s clad in patterned pajama pants, mismatched socks, and an FBI crewneck that is just big enough to reveal the collar of the tee-shirt underneath. He’s already taken out his contacts, and you were startled by the reminder that he also has glasses. 

“So...” he begins, bringing you back to the present moment, “we don't have to talk about anything, if you don’t want to, but...” 

You sigh, watching coffee bubbles swirl like stars in a galaxy. 

“It’s fine. Honestly, I’m kind of embarrassed. I didn’t really think, I just... ended up here.” 

“Yeah... where did you come from?” he laughs quietly. “Not that I’m complaining. But I recall you not living super close by.” 

“No, no. I was actually on a date. Kind of.” 

“Ah.” There’s a beat of silence, and ostensibly Spencer is waiting for you to say more, but instead you take a sip from your mug. “At two in the morning?” You nod dully, staring at the labyrinthine pattern of the Persian rug.  

“I’m taking it that it wasn’t a very good date...?” 

A whoosh of air escapes from your puffed cheeks. 

“No it was not. Not by the end, anyway. It actually started really well, which made it even more disappointing when he...” you laugh, but there’s not much humor in it. “Well, when he kicked me out of his car on a street corner because I didn’t want to sleep with him.” 

You don’t look to see Spencer’s reaction—only take another long, baleful sip of coffee and ignore the heavy silence.  

“I’m really sorry. You... you deserve so much better than that.” 

An attempt at a jaded scoff from you falls flat. 

“Yeah, well. Tell that to the last three white house interns I’ve gone on dates with. It’s the same thing every time.” 

“Have you considered going on fewer dates with white house interns...?” The nervous humor is a thin veil over genuine critique. You shrug, biting the inside of your cheek. 

“It’s not just them. Every single guy I’ve liked since I was 15 has been like this. Even my past relationships, I felt like I was almost... tricked into, you know? I mean, these guys, they act all understanding and willing to take it slow or whatever, until you’re in a relationship, and suddenly they’re guilt tripping you so hard and making you feel so obligated to...” you catch yourself just in time, glancing up at Spencer. You’re not sure what to make of his expression. The drawn brow and slightly squinted eyes trained so intently on you could be sympathy, or anger, or pity, or apathy—you look away, not sure you even want to know what he’s thinking. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear all about that. Basically romance is exhausting and since I’ll clearly be single forever I’m considering running away to join a nunnery.” 

When he doesn’t respond for too long, you look back up quizically. 

“I’m not sure you know what romance actually is,” he says as soon as your gaze meets his, like the eye-contact activated some kind of hair-trigger in his vocal box. 

You blink, lowering the coffee cup to your lap. 

Says Spencer Reid? 

“...sorry?” 

He flushes, stammering to clarify himself. 

“I just meant—I—I know I’m not exactly fighting women off with a stick—” he interrupts himself with a self-conscious (adorable) laugh— “but... but I have been in love, at least once.”  

“Maeve,” you say, gently—trying to shove down bitter guilt as you remember how jealous you’d been when Spencer had first told you about her. “I remember.” 

He swallows and nods. 

“We never even met—we just talked. All the time. I had no idea what she looked like. But it didn’t matter at all. Because I knew her, and I loved her. Maybe things would have gone further if I hadn’t been calling her from public phone booths, but that wasn’t the most important thing to either of us. We were still in love.” You try to shut out the sharp ache in your chest. Being jealous of the way he speaks about a dead woman is so wrong.  

“What I’m trying to say is that romance isn’t solely about sex, or even physical appearance. It sounds to me like you’ve been with a lot of men who don’t understand that. And it would be such a shame for you to write romance off in general before you even get to experience it. You are... an extraordinary woman. You’re funny, and intelligent, and kind, and so capable of being loved. One day, someone is going to see beyond your pulchritude and prove that to you. I hope you let them try.” 

More tears blur the pattern on the rug, pooling in the rims of your eyes before spilling down your cheeks in fast, fat drops. Shakily you set the cup down, resting your elbows on your knees and hiding your face in your hands. You sniff once. Twice. Shake your head quickly, attempting to wipe the tears away without further smearing your makeup everywhere. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Spencer breathes, leaning forward but obviously unsure how to comfort you. “Please don’t cry, I wasn’t--I was trying to do the opposite of this.” 

“No, I’m sorry! You didn’t have to—you didn’t—I’m sorry. That was way too nice.” 

But you're not crying because he was nice.  

Someone will love you, but not me. That’s all you can hear. 

His voice is a mere whisper when he next speaks. 

“I meant every word.” 

You take a shuddering breath, allowing yourself a moment of reprieve behind the peaceful black of your eyelids. You can’t be looking at his face when you say what you’re about to say. 

“I had a crush on you for the longest time, you know.” 

Ringing silence. But it doesn’t last as long as you’d imagined. It’s not as world ending. 

“Had?” 

The little smile in his voice is like a fist around your heart. 

“Yeah. You know what changed?” 

“What’s that?” 

Absolutely nothing. 

“Every time I got super drunk and started hitting on you, you’d just drive me home. And I did it a lot. Like, for months. But you were such a gentleman. It drove me fucking crazy. So eventually I figured you just didn’t like me and I gave up.” 

Another stretch of silence. A breeze comes in from the open window, fluttering the curtains and cooling the tears on your face. His response is sad when it finally comes. 

“You thought I didn’t like you because I didn’t try to take advantage of you when you were drunk?” 

“Pretty much.” You smile ruefully, fingertips still pressed over your eyes. “God, listen to me. No wonder I get treated like garbage.” 

“Stop. Don’t talk about yourself like that. Did you hear anything I just said?” 

You sniff, looking to the ceiling. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It was really sweet.” 

More silence. 

“But you don’t believe it.” 

A bitter laugh poisons the air around you. 

“I don’t know.  I’m kind of tired of waiting for someone to prove it to me. Just for once, I want someone to be interested in me beyond having sex in the back of their fucking... Range Rover, or whatever. Like, maybe all that stuff you said is true, but there’s no evidence to support it, and I know logically you’re probably right but I can’t help wondering if... if I’m the outlier. Maybe there just isn’t someone for me like that. Maybe I’m just gonna be the sex in the back of the Range Rover girl forever.” 

A noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob forces itself from your throat and you bury your face in your hands again, shaking your head. 

“Wow, I am so sorry,” you say a little too loudly, “I did not mean to be this honest tonight. Did you spike my coffee?” 

“You are not the outlier,” Spencer whispers.  

You sniff, lifting your head haltingly to look at him. 

“What?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he speaks. 

“You said you can’t help wondering if you’re the outlier, and maybe there just isn’t someone for you like that. That’s not true.” 

“Spencer, those are just words. You can’t possibly know that. Statistical probabilities don’t count.” 

“That’s... that’s not how I know.” 

Your heart drops as you study his face.  

No. 

Surely he’s not saying what you think he’s saying. 

Surely he wouldn’t do this to you after you’ve just told him everything you told him. You have been harboring feelings for him for years. Since you met. He can’t just spring this on you one night because you’re a little bummed out. If he felt the same, you would have found out a long time ago; he had ample opportunity to tell you. There was a period of months where you practically threw yourself all over him at every chance you got, and he did nothing. So this... this is just cruel—something you’ve never known Spencer Reid to be. 

You stand up, trembling slightly with rage and grief and humiliation. 

“Don’t do that. Don’t say things that you don’t mean just to make me feel better.” 

“What are you doing? Don’t--” 

You scoop up your purse, trying to get to the front door as fast as your gelatinous legs will allow. More tears are streaming down your face now and you don’t need him to see what he’s done to you—to see how much you care what he thinks. 

“It’s fine. Thanks for the coffee, I’ll see you around—” 

A hand around your wrist stops you in your tracks 

“Stop. Just... please give me a second to talk, okay?” 

With nothing left to give, you turn to him. 

“Don’t be mean, Spencer. Don’t act like you liked me too. That makes me feel... so much worse.” 

He takes a deep, shaky breath, as if steeling himself. Tawny eyes bore into your soul, and you realize that there is so much sheer nervous energy radiating off of him it’s infectious. Your heart begins to pound as he speaks. 

“I’m not doing that. I’m being an idiot, because you just told me that you don’t feel that way about me anymore but... but I do. And I have to tell you now because for six months I tortured myself wondering why you would flirt with me so much when you were hammered and then act like nothing happened the next day. There were so many times I almost told you how I felt but I didn’t and now I am because even if it ruins our friendship you need to know that somebody... that I wanted to be that person for you. I still do.” 

Your heart is like an unmoored zeppelin in your chest, bumping against your esophagus and threatening to either burst or jump out of your mouth. You take your chances, whispering so quietly it’s almost inaudible. 

“You... you like me?” 

“Yes,” Spencer sighs. “I have liked you for a very long time. And I’m sorry—” 

Whatever ridiculous thing he was going to apologize for, you don’t give him the chance. Instead you launch yourself at him, capturing his lips in a kiss that feels so much better than it’d ever been in your fantasies because it’s real. You hear his sharp intake of breath, but it only takes a second for him to respond, cradling your face in his hands like you’re the entire world. For a moment, time bends. Years of longing, of buried dreams crash into the present in a brilliant, dazzling explosion.

And then, as quickly as it started, he pulls away. The absence of his touch is like a vacuum, so much worse now that you know exactly how it feels to have his lips on yours, even if it was only for a few seconds. How the hell did you live like that for so long? How are you supposed to live like that ever again?

“You’re not thinking clearly,” he breathes, tilting his head back toward the ceiling like he’s barely holding onto his self control. “You just want someone to comfort you, I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’re in an emotionally vulnerable state and confided in me which is manufacturing a false sense of attachment—” 

You grab his wrists, which still graze your jaw.

“Spencer, stop intellectualizing for thirty seconds. I promise you I am thinking clearly.” 

“You said you used to like me, past tense—” 

“Yeah, I did. Do you believe every single murderer who says he didn’t do it?” 

“No, but—” 

“Have you ever heard the phrase; a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts?” 

“Of course I have.” 

“Then what more could you possibly need to be convinced that I really like you? I already kissed you! What is stopping you?” 

Another deep breath is taken by him that seems to suck all the air out of the quiet room. Briefly, you wonder if you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake. If you really do like him so much more than he could ever like you.  

Until he looks back down, eyes so golden-brown in the dim light, so kind and full of affectionate concern as he carefully assesses every square centimeter of your face, looking for... well, you’re not exactly sure what. It’s like he’s extracting every thought from your head, turning them over like sun-warmed stones until he finds what he’s looking for. He smooths his hands over your hair, brushing strands away from your teary face. Finally, after what feels like an eternity of holding your breath, he speaks. 

“I just want you to believe what I believe about you. But I don’t want you to have to rely on me or anyone else for your own self-worth.” 

“Well, don’t you think very highly of yourself,” you tease with a sniffle. He laughs—it's quiet, but his smile is so bright without even trying that suddenly you can’t remember why you’ve ever been sad. The small miracle of his laughter makes you feel so light, and you realize it has nothing to do with the way he makes you feel about yourself. It has everything to do with who he is. 

Once the giggles die down, you tentatively mirror his hold on your face. 

“Spencer, I don’t like you because you like me. I’ve liked you for an embarrassingly long time. I liked you enough that I gave myself a severe hangover at least once a week for three months just so I could have an excuse to flirt shamelessly with you.” 

A half-sad smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he gently swipes under your eyes. 

“You never had to do that. I would have welcomed your sober brazen flirting with open arms.” 

“Well... do you believe me?” you plead. His amber eyes shine. 

“I do.” 

“Will you kiss me?” 

“If that’s what you want.” 

You nod, rising on your toes to meet him halfway. 

When your lips meet again, it is sweet, and honest, and slow, and deep. Still, there is no desperation--no race to an imagined finish line, no clash of teeth and pawing hands. It is a kiss for the sake of it—as if it were the greatest intimacy. Not a precursor to sharing a bed, but something bigger than that in and of its own. Something just as worthy and important. For the first time, you think you’re beginning to understand romance. And while you wouldn’t mind if things did escalate, you also know that Spencer knows that’s not what matters right now. Because he actually understands you—he actually cares. He will wait until you understand that you mean so much more than that to him.

To that end, he pulls away, gently supplanting his absence with a kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

“It would be polite of me to offer you a ride home, wouldn’t it?” he whispers, like it’s the last thing he wants to do. You bite the inside of your cheek, coming up with reasons not to go. One ridiculous one arises from the depths of your memory that you know he won’t be able to say no to. 

“Or... I could stay here, and we could watch one of those nerdy foreign films you’re always talking about?” 

A slow, perfect, high-watt smile blossoms on his face, and you know you’ve said exactly the right thing. 

“Nerdy? Oh, my darling girl... Soviet-era filmography is far from nerdy. небесная машина will completely defy what you thought you knew about the life of an average Russian villager in the 1950’s.” 

“Oh, good. Because I’ve really been meaning to change the way I think about the average 1950’s Russian villager,” you smile, already closing in to kiss him again. 

------------------------------------------ 

epilogue

Three hours later, you’re crying because the life of the average Russian villager in the 1950’s was so much worse than you’d previously thought. 

“It was good, right?” Spencer asks as the credits roll over a bleak snowy sepia landscape, leaning back to get a better look at you. You sit up from where you’d been leaning against him, furiously wiping your eyes. 

“It was terrible! Why didn’t you tell me that everyone except the kid dies in the end?!” 

“Because that’s the whole point of the movie!” he laughs, pulling you back into him. “I’m sorry. I probably should have explained how depressing this entire era of film was outside of the US.” 

“And also how long the movies were. I was not prepared for how many five minute long clips of empty fields there were going to be.” 

“You’re right,” he ammends, wrapping his arms around you in a way that gives you butterflies and makes you sleepy at the same time. “Next time we can watch whatever you want to watch.” 

Time passes like that—you in his arms, watching weak light slowly flood the room with half-lidded eyes and listening to the sounds of the city waking up from the street below, underscoring the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Thoughts float by like leaves on the ever-flowing current of your mind, and you’re happy to let them pass until one in particular catches your attention. 

“Spencer?” 

He hums, like he’d been deep in his own proverbial river of thought. 

“What does pulchritude mean?” 

It takes him a split second to remember the bit of conversation from earlier to which you are referring, but when he does, he chuckles, running his hand over your messy hair. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

And so you let it float away. 

[heartpascal]

you’ll find the key

▹ — joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹ — summary: part five of if the door wasn’t shut — after feeling hopeless, you decide it’s time to heal

▹ — a/n: guys, i apologise for the wait! usually it doesn’t take me so long to write but this was a bit of a struggle!! i hope it lives up to any expectations :( i love you guys sm <3 pls leave ur thoughts + feedback and if u would like to see anything else in this series !!!

▹ — warnings: bad mental health, arguments, like two much needed hugs, so many apologies (my brain is failing so please tell me if there’s anything i’m missing!!!)

▹ — general taglist: @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @sleepygraves @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @ilybbg @rvjaa @oliest19xx @pedropepsi @sunflowersdrop @truthfuleeyours

masterlist

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

check out howl’s song associations!

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It was still storming outside.

Snow was coming down in heavy bouts, swirling all over the place with the force of the wind, and it was almost a goddamn blizzard. The ground was covered in it, and if it weren’t for the people already out in the streets, using shovels to dig away the snow in front of doorways, you were sure everyone would’ve gotten snowed in.

Not that you were going anywhere, anyway.

You hadn’t left Jesse’s side since you had gotten back to Jackson, after Tommy had a talk with you. They told you he was going to be absolutely fine, that all he needed was rest and to keep the wound clean. You still worried about him.

Part of you, despite knowing that what happened wasn’t your fault, still felt guilty. Out of the two of you, you were the more experienced one, and you should’ve known better, right? Should’ve caught wind that something wasn’t quite right sooner? You should’ve done something, protected him better, maybe?

You didn’t know exactly what you could’ve done differently, and you tried not to think of the possibilities, because the last thing you needed was to drown in guilt when you already felt bad enough.

Tommy’s chat with you hadn’t helped, either, and you know it was only because he cares, but it still hurt. The way he had looked at you, so angry, and scolded you for going back out there, for going after Joel when you and Jesse had barely made it out yourselves. He had called you irresponsible, which you would’ve argued against, if you hadn’t felt so guilty over the events of the day, if you hadn’t been worrying about Jesse.

You didn’t want to think about him being right, about how you could’ve gotten Jesse killed today, or yourself, god — Joel could’ve died, trying to save you. But was that really your fault? You wondered if everyone blamed you for Jesse getting hurt, as much as you blamed yourself.

“Are you really brooding, right now?” Jesse croaked, startling you from where you stood at the window beside his bed, staring out at the swirling snow. You turned to him, seeing his raised eyebrows, and felt almost thankful about the annoyance that arose when he looked smug, like he was right. “Unbelievable!”

“I’m not brooding, you asshole.” You murmured, unconvincingly. Jesse grinned, shaking his head at your denial.

“Oh, you so are.”

“I should’ve let them finish the job.” You responded flatly, breaking into a smile when Jesse laughed. The quiet lingered for a moment, both of your smiles slowly falling as the weight of everything that happened registered between you. “I’m sorry.”

Jesse’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you, his fingers picking at the edge of the blanket settled over him. “For what? Saving my life?”

“No, Jesse, I should’ve never put us in that situation. Especially after Pete left. I know better.” You replied, stepping towards the guy who had quickly become your best friend. You shook your head, eyes flickering around the room, until they settled on him. “Tommy took me off patrols, anyway, so.”

“What?” Jesse questioned, mouth hanging open. “Why?”

You stared at him, blinking in your confusion, and you tilted his head back to check his eyes were focused, that he wasn’t concussed, or something.

“Do you not remember what happened?”

“I remember just fine, thank you.” He responded, eyebrows creased as your hand left his forehead. Both of you wore incredibly confused expressions, neither knowing what the miscommunication between you could be. “Why would Tommy take you off patrols?”

“Jesse, you could’ve died.” You said, watching his face for the reaction, as if the information was new to him.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t your fault! You’re the one who saved me, who got me out. I don’t understand.” Jesse said, voice raising as he got slightly heated. He lowered his voice when he sat up, and pulled at his stitches, hissing in pain.

“No, I got us into it, and I was lucky to get us out.” You told him, as if it was a confession, and you frowned. You didn’t want to think about what could have happened to Joel, didn’t want to say that for once, the world had been on your side, letting you get him out, too. You didn’t voice it, but you don’t know what you would’ve done with yourself if he had died, trying to save you.

Jesse shifted, voicing your name, but you stopped him, smiling tightly in his direction. “It’s fine, Jesse. It’s for the better. Besides, means I’ve got more time to do my pottering.” You teased, though the words didn’t quite reach the way your teasing usually sounded. “Anyway, Dina showed up.”

“What? Why? Did she actually?” Jesse asked, his eyebrows raised as he looked to you with suspicion, like you were about to be making fun of him.

“‘Course she did. Whole town knows what happened, and she was worried about you.” You said with a grin that didn’t meet your eyes.

“The whole town?” He questioned, shutting his eyes and dropping his head back with a groan when you nodded your confirmation. “My family are so going to kill me, aren’t they?”

With a laugh, you reached forward to mess up his hair, “Oh, Jesse, you sweet thing. We’ve already devised a plan on how we’re going to do it.”

He slapped your hand away, glaring, but a smile pulled at his lips. He knew it wasn’t true, knew you were just entertaining his dramatics. What he didn’t know, was that his family had already been in, had already scolded you for getting their golden boy into trouble.

You moved back to the window, seeing a man across the road had given up on shovelling the heavy snow away from his door. Something heavy had settled on your chest, and you took a deep breath to try and get some oxygen past it. You didn’t blame Jesse’s family for what they had said to you — if you had been in their position, you probably would’ve been the same. They hadn’t quite approved of you, anyway, so you didn’t take it too personally. You were more than aware of everything you had done wrong.

Somebody cleared their throat in the doorway to the room, and you turned away from the window to see Joel stood there. He nodded his greeting to Jesse, a tight smile on his face.

“C’mon, kiddo, Tommy wants you to head back to the shop.” Joel said, repressing the sigh that wanted to leave his chest when you only nodded, stepping away from the window with a final glance outside.

“Well,” You said to Jesse, trying to muster up your best smile, “Duty calls, I guess. Feel better soon, okay?”

He called your name when you walked away, passing Joel as he stood beside the door, but you ignored it, feeling that weight grow heavier. Joel followed after you, a frown on his face.

You knew the route out already, and figured Joel was just the messenger, but he followed along, a few steps behind you as he limped on his injured leg. The wind was harsh when you opened the door, and you shivered when snow was immediately blown in your face. You lingered in the doorway, both hesitant to go out into the awful conditions, and feeling bad for leaving Joel hurrying on his bad leg.

Joel didn’t say it, but you knew he was here because Tommy didn’t want to see you. You couldn’t say you were surprised — not after just how angry Tommy had gotten. His face had been red, the steam pouring from his ears practically melting the snow around him, and it was the first time he had ever yelled at you.

“You doing okay?” Joel asked, hesitantly, as he paused in the doorway beside you, watching you as you wrapped your coat tighter around you. He knew that nothing was fixed, not even close, but there was something.

“I’m fine, Joel.” You replied, and he could hear the exhaustion in your voice, the way it pulled on your words. It was easier to hear than it was to see, but he just caught the slump to your shoulders, the way you held your eyes shut for a moment, before going to brave the snow.

He walked beside you as you headed towards the ceramics shop, your pace a touch slower than usual. You shoved your hands in your pockets, eyebrows creasing when you realised you must’ve taken your gloves off at some point. You tried not to sigh when you realised that they were probably lost, and just decided to chalk it up to another disappointment in an incredibly frustrating day.

When you arrived at the ceramics shop, it was a mission to get through all the snow that had started blocking the door. You would probably be snowed in, by nightfall. Joel helped you get rid of as much of it as possible, his gloved hands doing most of the work after your bare ones become too numb to continue.

You opened the door, feeling heavier than you had in months, and left the door open as you moved to the back of the shop, turning on the heater that sat there. You let your hands linger in front of it, just gritting your teeth at the sting that followed from warming them too quickly.

Joel lingered in the doorway, frowning at you, and furrowed his eyebrows as he called your name, watching your turn to face him. “I’m sorry.”

You gaped at him, stunned.

“You should have gotten a choice. It wasn’t my place to decide that for you, or to leave without havin’ a conversation.” He continued on, his words jumbling the slightest bit. “I still think you stayin’ was the best thing for you, the safest thing, but for whatever it might be worth, I am sorry.”

When your silence lingered, Joel nodded tersely, and stepped away, smiling tightly as he left the shop, shutting the door behind him. You blinked at the closed door, unsure what to do, unsure if you should have said something. But even if you should’ve, what would you have said?

It wasn’t okay, not in the slightest, and everything around you seemed to be crumbling. Tommy wasn’t speaking to you and Maria would be more than upset with you, too. Jesse was in the infirmary, and that was on you. And even as you looked around the ceramics shop, all you saw was cracked paint on the walls, and dust that settled no matter how many times you wiped it away.

Hell, even the misshapen plates and bowls on the shelves just made your chest hurt. You didn’t feel any sort of pride for this place, anymore, and it was painful. It stung at the deepest parts of you, and you just settled down on the dirty floor in front of the heater, holding your head in your hands as you blinked back tears.

Why did you think you could do this?

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Initially, you didn’t intend on avoiding Jesse.

In fact, you had plans to go and visit him the day after everything went to shit. It was just that when you opened the shop door, the outside looked far too unfriendly, and you knew his family would be in his infirmary room.

Perhaps it was a cowardly move, staying at the shop, locking the door and pretending the outside world of Jackson didn’t exist. Really, you were going to go and see him the next day. Swore to yourself that you would. But when the next day came, you didn’t even attempt to unlock the door to leave, figuring that it would be best to just leave him and his family to it. Dina was probably with him, too, so your absence wouldn’t be felt all too much.

Each day you said you would go, started with you justifying your staying in the shop. It went the same way, waking up and thinking you should go and see him, but the moment you got into the front of the shop, you thought better of it.

You blamed it on everything but what it actually was. Whether that be the snow, the heater in the shop that broke, the concept of him having quality time with his family… you used it all to reassure yourself that he didn’t need you by his side.

Besides, you knew he wouldn’t be in the infirmary for long. And by the fifth day, there was a knock against the shop door, barely heard over the howling wind outside. You remained in the back room, telling yourself it was probably nothing important, and after the heater broke, you couldn’t afford to open the door, anyway.

Even with the door closed, your breath misted in front of your face, and you had to rub your hands together more than once to generate heat, especially considering you seemed to have misplaced your gloves.

On day six, you kept all the lights off, and didn’t bother to poke your head around the doorframe to see who was knocking at the front door. After a few moments of loud knocking, his voice called out your name, and you were sure he was likely squinting through the shop window, trying to catch sight of you.

You barely even noticed the way you held your breath so it wouldn’t cloud the air, and alert him to your presence. You pretended the harsh exhale after he left was just a sigh of exhaustion. In some ways, you guessed it was.

By day seven, he knew what you were doing.

“Open the door,” Jesse yelled, still knocking wildly against the wood, and you were sure he was peeking in the window, too. “I’ve been to Tommy’s, the dinner hall, the greenhouses, the stables, hell — I even went to Joel’s. I know you’re here, stop hiding.”

You stayed in the back room.

After a while — much longer than you expected, especially given the still-awful weather — Jesse gave up, leaving the door at last. You frowned at the empty can of food in front of you, chest aching from the cold and everything that had happened over the past few days.

You hadn’t left the shop in the past seven days, surviving off of the short supply of long-life food in the cupboards. But that was your last can of it. As much as you knew you would have to leave, have to go get some more food in order to survive, you still didn’t want to. You didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t want them to see the shame that was so visible in the curve of your frown, the dip of your brows.

It made it easier to hide, knowing Jesse was the only person looking for you. There had been no sign of Tommy or Maria, which pained you, but didn’t surprise you. Part of you wondered if they’d ever speak to you again, but you didn’t want to linger on the question, too afraid of the answer.

It was day eight that you had no other choice — the temperatures were dropping even further, and with no heater it was becoming too cold for you to take. The need for heat and food led you to the dinner hall, which was surprisingly empty, and you settled at your usual table with a plate of cooked food, feeling the chill that had begun to settle in your bones fade.

Most people would be staying inside their homes, the cold too much to bear, so you were surprised when Ellie waltzed into the hall, eyes scanning the room as she made her way over to grab herself some food. You dipped your head when she began looking in your direction, and clutched at the fork in your hand, holding your breath.

“So you are alive.” Ellie drawled, settling down in the seat opposite you with her plate in front of her. “You know your friend has been coming ‘round for the past few days, won’t leave us alone.”

You shrugged, not knowing how to respond.

She sighed, poking at the food on her plate. “Thanks for going back for Joel, by the way.” She pretended not to see the way your head snapped up, eyebrows furrowed as you looked at her.

“I wouldn’t leave him to die out there,” You said, after a moment, the words hesitant as they left you. “Especially when he went to try and help me.”

Ellie nodded, shoving food into her mouth, and you quickly followed her action. The silence between the two of you stretched uncomfortably, and you hated how everything had changed. Why couldn’t they have just let you come with them? Why did they have to push you so far away?

“He’s a good guy,” Ellie said, a frown on her face. “He makes stupid decisions, but only because he cares about us.”

You looked at her, wondering when the two of you had grown up. You remember the jokes you had shared during your travels, the way she had been able to make you smile even when doing so seemed impossible. She had made life in the apocalypse almost bearable, and now here you were, sat at the same table, but miles apart.

“Maybe, but you were right about one thing. I don’t know what happened, so if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” You told her, instead of acknowledging her words about Joel. You didn’t want to think about him. You didn’t want to think about any of it.

It would be painful, you were sure, to hear about everything they had experienced. You could guess that a lot of it wouldn’t be pleasant, and it would likely hurt to hear about all the things you had missed out on, all the things that maybe you could’ve protected them from. But you were willing. It wasn’t forgiveness, it wasn’t a ticket back to being in each other’s lives, but it was progress.

And progress was all that you could offer, so it would have to do.

“I’ll, uh, keep that in mind.” Ellie said, a tight smile on her face as she looked at you, her eyebrows slightly raised in surprise at your words.

You nodded, and the two of you ate in silence.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

After stocking up on some more long-lasting cans of food, you were prepared to hunker down in the shop for a while longer. You hadn’t been able to trade for another blanket like you had hoped, but you weren’t all too surprised. With the stormy weather, everybody wanted more warming supplies.

You had survived worse conditions, though, in worse places. One harsh winter in Jackson wouldn’t kill you, even if your heater was broken, and you still hadn’t found your gloves.

The shop door was locked once again, and you had taped the bottom of it to try and stop the cold draft from seeping into the room. You considered bunkering down in the back room, taping the door shut and staying in there with all the blankets and layers you had, but you thought better of it. You wanted to be able to hear the front door with ease, still on edge after the ambush with Jesse, especially considering the raiding attacks that had slowly begun to ease off.

Despite whatever had gone wrong, however angry Tommy may be, you knew he’d rely on you if the time came. You were sure of it. Everything the two of you had built couldn’t have been toppled by this one event, right?

Your gun was still laid by the shop door, and your ammo never left the jacket you always wore. Just in case. If anything were to go wrong, you wanted to be ready.

The call of your name shook you from your racing thoughts, the contemplation of everything that could happen pausing as your head snapped up. Maria’s voice was loud, and she hadn’t knocked. You didn’t have a surname — didn’t know whoever came before you long enough for them to tell you, didn’t know everyone who came after long enough for them to share their own. So she settled on your first name, yelling it loudly.

“Open the door!” Maria demanded once again, kicking the bottom of it with her foot. “Come on, open it. You’re not fooling anybody, and it’s freezing out here, little Troy can’t stay out here too long.”

With a sigh, you stood. She knew how to get to you — bringing baby Miller was a harsh plan, especially because it gave you no choice but to let her in. Not that it was much warmer in the shop than it was outside, but she didn’t know that.

You unlocked the door, pulling it open just to fit yourself into the crack of it. Facing Maria was terrifying, because you didn’t know what to expect. Even as she held on to baby Troy Miller, who was bundled up in more layers than you could count, she was totally unpredictable. She could be in a motherly mood, or that merciless Jackson council member.

“Hi,” You said, nervously. “What’re you doing here?”

She raised her eyebrows, stepping forward until you’d opened the door for her to step inside of the shop. Maria’s stern expression immediately fell, and you could feel nerves building in your stomach.

“Is your heating out?” She asked, turning on you suddenly, harshly. When you nodded meekly, she handed Troy over to you, not faltering even when you opened your mouth to voice your confusion.

He babbled at you, a toothy grin on his face, and you held on to him tighter. It hit you then, how much you actually cared about these people. Your brain short-circuited when you thought about something bad happening to this family, and it made you feel sick. Suddenly, you were regretting the meal you had eaten with Ellie.

“Well, I think Jeremy should be able to fix it up.” Maria sighed, standing from where she had crouched down to inspect your broken heater. “But he’s way busy with other heater issues. Come on, you’ll stay with us.”

“Maria.” You urged, repeating her name another time when she didn’t answer you, too busy thinking about options and solutions, as always. “I’m fine. Go home.”

She sighed heavily, turning to you with that stern look she’d been wearing since the moment you were left behind in Jackson. “I know you and Tommy are going through a rough time, but he loves you, and if he knew you’d been living here with no heat?” Maria shook her head with scoffed laughter, not reaching for Troy even as you offered to hand him back, instead moving to pack some of your clothes into a bag. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“It’s not my home, Maria,” You said softly, perhaps the softest she had ever heard you.

It was disquieting, at the least, for you to behave in such a way. Throughout the whole time Maria had known you, you had been sharp edges and bitten words, even when you had grown to care for them, that hadn’t changed all that much. It was a constant, your stubborn attitude and harsh nature, always slamming doors shut too hard, always charring food when you were unsupervised, because you’d turn the heat up too high. You were impatient, practical, realistic. You weren’t soft.

Maria’s face curved into a frown, and she stopped her presumptive actions in packing up some of your things. She looked at you, looked at the lines that were beginning to dig into your expression, looked at the way your shoulders slumped as you held on to her son.

“Maybe not,” Maria offered, and looked around at the shop that was not as pristine as the last time she had seen it, before looking back to you. “It could be, though.”

You shook your head, sighing but not finding any relief from the action, only feeling the same tightness to your chest. “I’m not a Miller.” You said, and it was true, because the space behind your name remained as empty as ever, that absence something you had felt your whole life.

“You’re as much a Miller as I am, as he is.” Maria reasoned, gesturing towards her son in your arms as she looked at you. She didn’t want to say too much, didn’t want to overwhelm you, but you had practically been adopted by the two Miller brothers. Two men who were so far from perfect, who made so many mistakes that they almost lost you, who cared too much. Hell, even if you weren’t consciously aware of it, you had adopted their mannerisms and tendencies.

It showed in the way you held Troy, the same stance that Tommy used. It showed in the frown on your lips, that looked far too much like Joel’s to be a coincidence. The furrow between your brows reflected Joel and Tommy’s own, a crevice built from worrying and frustration and anger. You reminded Maria too much of how Tommy had been when they first found him — eyes glassy, lost, and without purpose.

She had seen the change in you since you had been left in Jackson, so many ups and downs, but you had been doing better. And now, here you were, looking more lost than you ever had.

“That’s not true, Maria.” You replied, tense. It wasn’t true — Troy was a Miller by blood, and Maria was a Miller by marriage. Both choices that Tommy had made. It wasn’t the same for you, it couldn’t be. Tommy had never chosen you — Joel had dropped you in his lap before running away, and didn’t that make you the furthest thing from a Miller?

“It is true.” Maria refuted, stepping forward to hold a hand firmly against your face. “You’re a Miller, no doubt about it. Now come on, we’d better get going. Got a lot to talk about.”

She was finishing shoving your things inside of the backpack at her feet in a few moments, and was swinging it over her shoulder before you could protest, making her way out of the door. Holding her son, what choice did you have but to follow?

The two of you were silent on your journey to Rancher Street, and you felt the nerves bubbling up from your stomach, leaving an unpleasant tingling in the back of your throat. It was tense, though that could have been all from you. You were still holding Troy, having him half buried in your jacket to make sure he wouldn’t be cold, despite the fact your jacket wasn’t the warmest.

When you arrived to her house, Tommy wasn’t there. She didn’t say anything, so you didn’t mention it, much preferring to ignore the issues that would likely arrive whenever he returned. Instead, you settled Troy down, removing some of his layers at the rush of warm air that came the moment you stepped through the door.

Your hands were tingling, in a strange state between feeling and numb after the sudden temperature change. You settled them under your legs when you sat down on the couch, Troy at your side as Maria clambered about the kitchen, having already dropped your bag down beside the sofa.

When she came back, it was with a steaming mug that you recognised — one of your very own design. It was a dark green, close to black, and had your poor recreation of a bear on it. You remembered thinking it was going to come out brown, remembered the shock when it was green.

She handed it over, and you used the hand with slightly more feeling to take it from her, holding it close to your chin to allow the steam to flow over your features, warming your nose. “So,” Maria said, drawing your attention from where you’d been keeping an eye on Troy, keeping the hot mug away from him. “First, you and Tommy fight, and then you ignore your best friend?”

You stared at her, teeth clenched in shock, and recalled the way Ellie had mentioned the boy. Clearly, he was pestering everybody who knew you. Maria’s eyebrows raised, looking expectantly at you.

“‘M not ignoring anybody.” You murmured, voice catching in your throat as you spoke, and you took a sip of boiling hot tea to get rid of the lump that had formed. The burn soothed you, in a strange way, warming your insides the slightest bit as you breathed steam.

“Mhm, is that why he’s been ‘round here, bugging us ever since he got out of the damn infirmary?” Maria asked, expression tightening slightly as you winced, and knew she had got you.

You shook your head, moving your other hand from underneath your leg to cradle the mug in both palms, breathing a relieved breath at the warmth finally reaching your fingers. “Doesn’t know how to stop, does he?” You said, moving your eyes to the swirling drink in the mug, not looking up even as Maria hummed. “I’ll tell him to leave you be.”

“Ah, but that would require talking to him, which you clearly haven’t been doing.” She told you, a slight teasing lilt to her voice, to make it seem less serious than it truly was.

Maria remembered the night you and Tommy had arrived home, with you shoving at his shoulder whilst he laughed loudly, a bright teasing smile on his expression. It was probably the lightest she had ever seen the two of you, with Tommy not feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders for just a moment, and you smiling like you hadn’t faced unspeakable things. She remembered the way you had scrambled to correct Tommy’s statements, whacking a hand against his forearm when he interrupted you.

She remembered Troy waking up from where she hadn’t long settled him down, and remembered the way you had immediately gone to calm him down after hissing a “Look what you’ve done now!” at Tommy, who had only laughed.

Maria remembered the way her head had settled against her husband’s shoulder, exhausted to her very bones, motherhood feeling much harder than she remembered. Especially with her aged bones, keeping up with a baby was more difficult than she remembered. She didn’t want to think about what it would be like when he could actually run around. Maria had just been grateful to have you there, to be able to rest with Tommy, trusting you to look after her son.

You challenged her motherly instincts, sure, but Troy was on another level — it was a lot more to deal with when your child wasn’t basically self-sufficient.

“I’m going to,” You said, though there was doubt in your voice. “I am.” You repeated, as if that would solidify your statement, as if it would make it any more truthful.

“Listen,” Maria sighed, saying your name, and waiting for you to look up from your mug before she continued. “I know what happened on that patrol. I know. And it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, so why are you ignoring Jesse?”

You swallowed, scratching a fingernail over a small crumb of clay that hadn’t gotten smoothed down before being fired. “I just… I care about him, and he could’ve died, Maria. Tommy was right, I—I was irresponsible, and I could’ve gotten us both killed.”

Maria shook her head immediately, picking Troy up when he began to fuss, and she stopped you. “No, Tommy was speaking from a place of anger. Of fear. You did everything right.” She affirmed, staring intensely at you, as if daring you to argue against her. “Except, maybe, going after Joel, but I know why you did that. I get it. If I had been in your position, if it were my…— I would’ve done the same thing.”

“I just didn’t want him to die, because of me.” You said, voice quiet again, and Maria’s heart ached for you, something squeezing so tightly in her chest that it physically hurt. “I don’t want Tommy to hate me forever, either.” You added after a few quiet moments, eyes following a bubble around the edge of the mug.

“He doesn’t hate you, kid, not at all. He was scared, he didn’t want to lose you.” Maria reasoned, but you still didn’t feel better, not after just how angry he had gotten. Not after he had practically shoved you out of his sight, the moment he was done yelling, unable to even look at you. Not after he had sent Joel as a messenger, refusing to speak to you himself.

“Maybe,” You offered, because it was the best you could do. You couldn’t agree with her, couldn’t disagree, either. The only person who would actually be able to decide those things was Tommy — and he was nowhere to be found. “I’ll talk to Jesse.” You decided to say, in the end, hands gripping tighter on the mug. Just saying it aloud made it seem all the more real, and you regretted it a moment afterwards, thoughts stuck on what Jesse would say, what his family would say.

“Good.” Maria said, nodding at you, “He’s a good kid, he deserves to know his friend is still here.” She stood to her feet, heading to the kitchen with Troy in her arms, waiting for her to feed him.

Twenty minutes later, when Maria had gone upstairs to put Troy down for a nap, the front door banged open, a rush of cold air being let in.

“Maria!” Tommy yelled out, his voice panicked, and you could hear him shuffling through his bag in the still-open doorway. With furrowed brows, you placed the cold mug down on the floor beside the sofa, standing up and making your way to peek into the hallway. “Maria, you here?” He shouted again, more desperate this time, and when you finally saw him, you saw that he had snow still clinging to him, and he had brought clumps of it in on his boots, slowly melting puddles on their floor.

“Tommy?” You questioned quietly, both not wanting to speak to him, but also getting increasingly concerned by his behaviour. His head snapped up to you, and he blinked in surprise, his shoulders slumping and hands pausing in their rummaging.

“Oh, thank god.” Tommy said, approaching you quickly and wrapping his arms around you tightly before you could get a word in. You blinked, shocked, and slowly wrapped your own arms around the man, who just held your head closer to him in return. “You scared the shit outta me.” He admitted, a slight tremor to his voice. He breathed out a heavy sigh, arms squeezing, and you wanted to look at him to express your confusion.

“Is everything okay?” Maria asked, a slight panic to her own voice, but she relaxed at the image before her. Tommy’s eyes opened as he rested his head on your own, and he looked to his wife as he nodded gently.

He moved away from you slightly, hands moving to hold your shoulders tightly, finally able to see your confused face. He sighed, his shoulders dropping like they had been holding the weight of the world. “I went to the shop, wanted to apologise. Couldn’t find you or your things, and it was freezing.” Tommy told you, his head dropping until his chin rested against his chest for a moment. “Thought you left.”

His arms pulled you back to his chest, and you didn’t resist him, though your heart was racing in your chest, blood rushing in your ears.

Maria frowned, “I didn’t know you were going. The heater’s broken, so I told her to stay with us.”

Tommy nodded again, his breath held in his chest as he let his heart rate calm down. You let him hold on to you until he was ready to let go, just keeping your face hidden in his shoulder as your arms wrapped loosely around him, fingers numb from the cold once again.

When he finally released you, you took a small step back, cheeks warm with remaining shame from your last conversation with the man. The rest of you, however, was freezing, especially since you had removed your multitude of layers in the warm house. Tommy frowned as you shivered, cursing under his breath as he turned to shut his front door, his frown deepening when he saw the water covering the hallway in front of the door.

He waved Maria away when she gave him a stern look, and she nodded once she saw his expression, smiling tightly at you before heading back upstairs to settle Troy back down, after he had been fussing from his father’s shouting.

Tommy turned to where you stood, hands wrung together to try and generate some more warmth between your digits. He sighed again, a seemingly very common thing for him at the moment, and he stood up straighter to talk to you.

“I’m sorry,” He told you, his voice reflecting his words in its apologetic tone. “I should never have spoken to you the way I did. Wasn’t fair of me to blame you for things that weren’t your fault. Or for me to judge you for doin’ exactly what I would’ve. What I should’ve.”

You stared at him, at the way his hands clenched and unclenched into fists at his sides, a slightly nervous habit, you had noticed.

“Tommy, you were right,” You responded, continuing on even as he shook his head, “I messed up, and I could’ve gotten Jesse, or Joel, or even myself killed.”

“No.” He said firmly, reaching out and holding onto your shoulders once again, his grip tight as if you might slip away. “I was wrong. You hear me? I should have been proud, proud that you were so brave, that you saved your friend and your— and Joel. I should have been proud that you made your way back, that you did it without some old shithead tellin’ you what to do.” He rambled on, shutting his eyes and looking almost regretful.

You ducked your head, feeling far too emotional, a lump formed in your throat at his words. Just somebody who you looked up to, who you trusted, telling you that you hadn’t done anything wrong… it was almost too much.

As many mixed feelings as you may have had over the whole situation, the most prevalent one was guilt. It had been surrounding you, weighing so heavily on you, hell, you didn’t even realise how much it had been pulling you down until Tommy came in, lifting it all off of your shoulders.

“You did good, kid.” He told you, squeezing your shoulders, and you hated the way your lip started trembling.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me cry.”

Tommy laughed, the sound watery and almost broken off, “You can cry as much as you want.” He pulled you in, feeling your arms squeeze around his middle as he held on to you so tightly, he was almost sure he’d never let go again.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Your closed fist was raised up to the door, a hair’s width away from making contact with it, but you had frozen. And it wasn’t because of the cold.

There was something that had settled heavily in your stomach, making your whole body feel heavy and slow. You felt, distantly, like you might throw up with the way it was sitting, but tried not to think on it too much. You were aware of the way your chest was rising and falling, almost too aware, and you tried to put it out of your mind as you attempted to steel yourself.

“You gonna knock, or are you just gonna keep standing there, looking stupid?” A voice asked from behind you, making you spin on your heels, fist pulled away from the door. You held a hand against your chest, breathing a heavy sigh as you saw the culprit of the scare.

“You’re an asshole.” You murmured, eyes studying your beaten up boots that were covered in melting snow. You looked up to him, and felt some relief when you saw Jesse crack a slight smile at your reaction. It faded far too quickly for your liking.

“So?” He prompted, eyebrows raising at you.

You frowned, repressing the urge to grumble at him, but you knew that he should’ve been the one angry at you. Hell, he probably was. “I just came to say… I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“Are you kidding?” You asked, annoyed. But when his expression didn’t budge, you sighed through your nose. “Okay. I’m sorry for ignoring you after the infirmary, and I’m sorry you got put into the infirmary at all.” You said, looking back down the where the melting snow was seeping into the hole at the side of your boots. You should probably get new ones.

Jesse didn’t say anything for a moment, and you picked at your fingernails while you stared at the ground, your nerves sending your pulse into a fluttery mess.

Finally, you heard him snickering, and your head snapped up. “Well, I just can’t believe this. You, apologising?” You glared as his smile slowly grew, though you knew that the whole thing wasn’t quite solved, at least it was good to know that Jesse was still acting his usual asshole self with you. “Come on, you little asshole.” He said, gesturing for you to follow him. You did.

He glanced at you every so often, shaking his head at your stoic expression.

The two of you arrived at the dining hall soon enough, standing in the queues silently whilst waiting to collect food, until Jesse nudged you and led you over to the table you so often shared.

“You do realise I would never blame you for something that happened on patrol, right?” He asked, eyebrow raised as he awaited your response, shovelling food into his mouth as if he was starving. He reminded you an awful lot of Ellie, in that way. You wondered if they had met.

With a roll of your eyes, “Well, now, yeah. Do we have to talk about this? I said sorry, didn’t I?” You murmured the last part, shovelling your own food into your mouth, refraining from rolling your eyes again when Jesse snickered at you.

“How could I forget? You prefer to brood rather than talk about your feelings.” He responded.

“Okay, I don’t brood—”

“Yes, you do—”

“And do you enjoy talking about… feelings?” You said, ignoring his interruption. He stared at your raised eyebrows, the expectant look on your face.

“Sometimes, I do.”

“Maybe when it comes to—”

“Dina!” Jesse said in a high pitched tone, cutting you off and looking at you with widened eyes. You looked behind you, seeing the girl of the hour approaching your table, an amused look in her eye. She nudged you with a grin as she walked past, sitting on your left and smiling widely at Jesse’s surprised expression.

After settling down, she looked back up to meet Jesse’s eyes. “What? Cat got your tongue?”

You snorted out a laugh, not expecting to hear such an old expression coming from her — it sounded like something Joel might say. Jesse glared at you, unamused by the grin you and Dina shared.

“Yeah, Jesse.” You goaded, smiling at his indignant huff. “Not want to talk about feelings, anymore?” You asked. You leaned backwards as he swiped his arm out, trying to knock the cutlery from your hand as it was heading towards your mouth. Dina laughed at his failed attempt.

“So you two are talking again, then?” Dina said when her laughing faded, and you glared at the way Jesse grinned, unhappy with the fact he was telling her such things. You supposed that you couldn’t blame him — after all, you had spoken to Maria about it. It just so happened that Jesse was your only friend your actual age.

“Unfortunately.” You grumbled, eyes narrowed at the man.

“Unfortunately,” Jesse mocked, making a face at you. “Somebody finally came to their senses!” He said, after he was done poking at his food as he frowned at you.

“Somebody is having regrets about it.” You responded in turn, smiling sarcastically at him.

“Back to normal, then.” Dina concluded, smiling when the two of you nodded. She didn’t know you all too well, but from the time she had spent with you in Jesse’s infirmary room, she was a fan. You clearly cared about Jesse, way more than you would admit, and she could admire that.

You looked at Jesse, “Back to normal.” He echoed, smiling at you.

You pretended that the sigh you let out wasn’t one of relief.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“You should really clean this place up, you know.” Jesse commented as you unlocked the door to the pottery shop, his eyes scanning around the room, the chill to the air making him shove his hands in his pockets. He looked at the dust covering the surfaces you usually cut clay on and raised his eyebrows.

“Well, I’ve been a bit busy.” You replied, moving to the newly fixed heater that Tommy had brought over when he walked you back to the shop that very morning.

“Oh, yeah, avoiding me.” Jesse said, grinning mischievously when you shot him an annoyed look over your shoulder, focusing on turning the heater on, placing your freezing hands in front of it when it finally started shooting out some warmth. You sighed at the sting, just glad to feel your hands once again.

You sat down on a dusty stool, turning to Jesse when he sat down beside you, relishing in the heater that was finally working. “Okay, so maybe I’m not the best with… feelings.”

“No kidding,” Jesse snorted, his smile fading when you stared at him, deadpan. “Sorry, go on.”

“But I can say that I do care about you. Sometimes. When you don’t piss me off.” You told him, drawing in a shaky breath that filled your lungs with cold air. “I just… relationships are complicated, you know? And painful, a lot of the time. I didn’t wanna go through that again, I guess, but you’re persistent.”

Jesse smiled as you spoke, somewhat amused by your words, but even you could see the softness to it. The absence of that teasing edge his grin usually held. It was reassuring.

“If this is about Joel—” Jesse attempted, shutting his mouth when you cut him off.

“—It’s not about him.” You interrupted, quickly, the back of your neck feeling hot despite the heater being quite far from you. “Or maybe it is, I don’t know.” You added on, after thinking about it for a second. You generally tried not to think of Joel, or the whole situation with him and Ellie, but could it really have effected you that much? It’s not like Joel was the first person you had lost.

He was the first to walk away without a fight, though.

A small part of you fought that fact, because he came back. Did that not mean anything?

“Can I speak yet?” Jesse asked, a slight teasing lilt to his voice. It brought you out of your thoughts, and you smiled despite the topic at hand. With a nod from you, Jesse went on, “Thanks. I’m just saying, maybe Joel isn’t all that bad. I’m not defending what he did, but the guy clearly cares about you.”

“So I should just— just forgive him? For leaving me?” You asked, looking at Jesse as if he had all the answers.

“I don’t know, that’s up to you,” He said. “Maybe you don’t need to forgive him. Maybe it’s time to just… move on with your life. Forget about what he did, and focus on what he can do. You miss him, don’t you?”

You frowned, looking away from the intensity of Jesse’s gaze. The two of you were friends, yes, and he was the closest friend you’d ever had, maybe besides Ellie. But being so open, it was strange. Likely the effect of the apocalyptic world you lived in, and perhaps it was another difference between that world and the little safe haven of Jackson, Wyoming.

“‘Course I do. He and Tess… they were everything I had.” You replied, your eyebrows creasing at the thought of the woman, at the memory of your life in Boston QZ. It made you realise that it had been a while since Maria had cut your hair, and Tess would’ve chastised you for not reminding her to cut it if you had let it gotten this long in Boston.

It all felt so far away.

When you thought of Tess, your heart ached. Though, it wasn’t quite the same as it had been on your journey with Joel and Ellie. You felt her absence, maybe more than ever, but it wasn’t all bitter. You felt… appreciative of her. She may be gone, but at least you got to have her for a time.

You really wished that she could’ve seen this place, though. You often wondered if she would’ve liked pottery.

Joel would probably know.

“Tess may be gone, but Joel isn’t. Not anymore.” Jesse reminded you, hesitant in his words. You realised that you had never really told him, or anyone, about Tess.

“Y’know, if Tess were here, she’d probably tell me to get over myself,” You laughed at the thought, a sad, watery laugh, but Jesse smiled with you despite not knowing the woman. “She’d kick Joel’s ass, though.”

“Is that even possible? Joel’s like… badass, man.”

“Nobody was more badass than Tess. She was awesome. Used to boss Joel around, all the time, she ran half of the smuggling underground at Boston.” You smiled when Jesse raised his eyebrows, surprised. “And she used to cut my hair. Always told me it was better to keep my hair short, even though she had long hair.”

“Bit hypocritical, isn’t it?” Jesse asked, humour in his words.

You shrugged, “Think she was just trying to keep me safe, in her own way. Tess didn’t want to keep me, to start with. Joel convinced her.”

The more you thought about it, the more you realised that it really was because of Joel that you were allowed to stay with the two of them. You remember hearing them argue on a few occasions, something about a great family that Tess knew nearby. But Joel had never let you go too far.

He’d told you about Tess’s family, though it wasn’t really his place to do so. He had done it in an attempt to comfort you one night when you were young, after you had gotten upset at Tess disregarding you yet again. Joel had explained that she didn’t like getting attached to anybody, especially kids, after she lost her own child. He had told you that it was what they had bonded over, at the start.

“Sounds like this Joel guy really wanted you around, huh?” Jesse said teasingly, only grinning when you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Shut up, you asshole, when the hell did you get all wise?” You asked, glaring at him as he feigned an innocent look. You cracked first, smiling at his expression, feeling a softness to the grin as he matched it with one of his own.

“Distance makes the heart grow wiser, I guess.”

“It’s fonder, Jesse. It makes the heart grow fonder.”

“Shut up, I’m the wise one here.”

You looked at Jesse then, as the two of you shared a laugh, and you wondered if this is how friendship felt before the apocalypse, or if that warm feeling in your chest was exclusive to post-apocalyptic relationships.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“Didn’t think you’d be coming back here.” Joel commented gruffly as he made his way to the kitchen with a nervous energy about him.

“Me neither,” You said idly, watching him fumble around the kitchen. You wondered if it was just a Miller thing, being terrible in the kitchen. It certainly seemed like something Joel and Tommy had in common, but you hadn’t really thought about it when Joel had asked if you wanted some tea, in a bit of a panic at your presence.

He didn’t say anything in response to that, seemingly mulling your words over. Joel didn’t really know what to make of your presence, certainly not expecting to see you at his front door when he opened it.

“Oh, wait,” You said suddenly, causing him to look over to you in the doorway from where he had been about to put tea in the two mugs in front of him. You pulled your backpack around on your shoulder, digging through it for a moment before pulling out a bag. Joel’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked between you and the bag, waiting for an explanation. “Look.” You said, handing it over to him.

He took the bag, opening it up and unable to help the grin that broke onto his face at the sight of coffee beans, the scent of them immediately soothing some of the man’s tension.

“Where’d you get these?” Joel asked you, his voice lighter than you had heard it since Boston. The sound of it made you grin, despite everything.

“Found ‘em on a patrol, a while ago. Been hiding them from Tommy, so don’t tell him.” You responded, realising that this was probably the lightest conversation you and Joel had held for a very long time. How long had it been?

“Wouldn’t dream of it. He’s a thief, always has been.” Joel said, smiling. “Right, the tea.” He said after a moment, placing the bag of coffee beans beside the mugs he’d set out.

You snickered as you noticed the mugs, grinning as Joel turned to you in question. “Seems like Tommy’s not the only thief in the family.” You said, gesturing toward the white and orange mug he’d placed down, recognising it from the batch you’d given Tommy and Maria.

Joel, at least, had the decency to look slightly embarrassed about stealing the orange coloured owl mug you had made and gifted to his brother. Either that, or embarrassed about getting caught. It had slipped his mind, really, more of a habit to grab it out of the cupboard, considering it was the one he used all the time.

He opened his mouth to try and craft some sort of defence, but felt any words he might’ve had die on his tongue as he turned to you. Seeing you smiling, well, it wasn’t exactly an unfamiliar sight. You often smiled at Tommy and Maria when he caught sight of you with the two of them, hell, you smiled a lot around that friend of yours, Jesse. Joel even remembers the times you would smile back in Boston, even though life in the QZ was much harder than life in Jackson.

But it had been a long time since Joel had seen you smile in his presence.

Each time you and Joel interacted after he had left you behind, your face had a way of falling, of crumpling in on itself before it hardened, staring at him with an expression of stone.

It had his heart aching in his chest, finally seeing you smile around him. He hadn’t realised quite how much he had missed it.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, after he stayed silent for a moment too long, the smile on your face fading into something of confusion. Joel shook himself out of his melancholy thoughts, clearing his throat and offering up his best smile in return.

“Nothin’,” Joel answered. “Nothin’ at all.”

You let his response linger in the air between the two of you for a few moments, and it seemed that the both of you were thinking of how life used to be. You were a long way from Boston.

“I could’ve made you your own, y’know.” You said, after a the silence stretched on, reaching out and picking up the mug he had stolen, looking at all the imperfections that had seemed invisible, all that time ago when you had made it. You’d like to believe you were much better in your craft, now.

“I like this one, just fine.” Joel responded, plucking it from your hands with a raised eyebrow. You snickered at his actions, moving to look around the kitchen, missing the soft grin stretched over the man’s face.

“God, you fixed that?” You asked suddenly, taking a wide step to look at the slight imperfection on the countertop, where you remember carving a deep gash in the material one night by shattering a particularly heavy plate upon the counter. You were almost sure it wasn’t fixable, that perhaps it could look better, but would always be extremely noticeable.

Joel nodded, back to his task of sorting out tea, but spoke when realising you were faced away from him. “Oh, yeah. Took me a couple tries, though.”

You hummed in response, going back to looking around the kitchen that you remembered so well. Most of the damage you had caused on the room had been fixed, which created a strange feeling in your chest, though you couldn’t tell quite what it was. Relief? Disappointment?

It wasn’t as hard to be in this house as you had expected it to be. You were awaiting that crushing feeling in your chest, that emptiness that left your ribs aching. Surprisingly, you felt… light, almost.

Joel didn’t know exactly what to expect.

On one hand, he wanted to feel hopeful, to belief that this would be the beginning of your relationship with him healing. But then on the other hand, he was reminded of just how much he had hurt you, of the tears that had spilled from your eyes when he had left you behind, the grit of your teeth when he had returned. He tried his best not to expect anything at all, to just remain… happy that you were here, in this moment.

Even if there were no other moments like this one.

He tried not to focus on how much that thought hurt.

“You and Ellie settled in, then?” You asked, trying to fill the silence in the room. There was also that part of you that wanted to know, that wanted to know everything.

Joel repressed the sigh that built in his chest. “Gettin’ there. She, uh, she’s had a tough time, but you know Ellie. She loves to be gettin’ into everybody’s business.” He refrained from looking in your direction when he asked you the same question. “You settled in alright here?” He wanted to add more on, but thought it best not to try his luck.

“I guess so.” You responded, thinking of how different your life was now, to how it was back in Boston, or even to how it was when you were on the road with Joel and Ellie. “It was… tough at first, but Tommy and Maria were good to me. And I got the shop, so.”

“And that boy?” Joel asked, trying to remain casual, though you heard the suspicion.

You smiled at his question, at the way he avoided looking at you. Back in Boston, when you had been much, much younger, Joel had tried to get the thought into your brain that boys were bad. He was protective of you, and distrustful towards the world. You couldn’t blame him.

“Jesse? He’s, uh, he’s my best friend.” You told the man, shaking your head at the way his shoulders relaxed the smallest bit. “He’s a good guy, you know. I care about him.”

As protective as Joel was, though he knew that he didnt really have any right to be, he couldn’t deny that it was nice that you had a friend your age. That you could count on someone, could trust someone, out of your immediate circle. He remembers that you had been lonely in the QZ, with only him and Tess for company, nobody your age that you could speak to or trust.

It had been a relief, almost, when you and Ellie had developed a friendship on the journey. Joel only hoped that the two of you could have that again.

“I’m happy for you, kiddo.” Joel responded, the nickname coming out almost like a reflex, like it was involuntary. It was what he had always called you, though, so you weren’t surprised.

“Jesse, uh— it was actually Jesse’s idea for me to come here.” You said, and Joel couldn’t deny the relief that spread through him when you didn’t immediately reject the nickname, or pull away at the sound of it.

Joel floundered for a moment, looking for something to say, eventually settling on uttering a quiet, “Sounds like a smart kid.”

You smiled, taking the mug off of Joel as he finally finished making the tea, avoiding your eyes. “I guess.” You replied, cradling the warm ceramic mug tightly in your hands. “Somehow, he seems to know what I need to hear, before even I know.” You said, humour coating your fond tone.

Joel smiled. “Sounds familiar. Tess was always like that, with me.”

It was one of the first times Joel had openly mentioned her name since she died. For some reason, it made your shoulders feel much lighter, like the burden of not being able to talk about her had been weighing you down.

“I miss her.” You confessed, looking for his reaction.

“I do, too, kiddo.” Joel admitted, his words softer than you had ever heard them. You thought about what it must’ve been like for him, to lose the companion he had held as close as he dared for close to two decades. You couldn’t imagine.

You hesitated, opening your mouth, before closing it again, only going ahead when Joel gave you a reassuring nod. “You knew her much better than I ever did.”

“I suppose.”

“Do you think you could… I don’t know, just— just tell me about her, one day?” You asked, the hope in your words making Joel’s heart ache.

“‘Course. I’ll tell you whatever you’d like to know.” Joel said, smiling gently at you, nodding his head towards the living room, a soft look on his face as he sat down beside you on the couch. “Ask away, kiddo.”

You were quiet for a moment, feeling lighter than you had possibly your whole life. “Do you think she’d like pottery?” You asked, sharing a knowing smile with Joel. He laughed at the concept, something so amusing about the idea of Tess Servopoulos, the renowned smuggling boss, sitting in your shop and making dinnerware.

“If it was with you, I reckon she’d have liked anything.” Joel responded, something truthful to his words.

You smiled, and asked more about her.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

if the door wasn’t shut taglist: @sleepylunarwolf @am-i-shit-or-am-i-the-shit @mandowhatnow @aphrcdites @doodlebob-mp3 @rrickgrrimes8 @nikt-wazny-y @fallenoutofrose @wrathofcats @kakimakiloh @pinkpurplepuffs @ameagrice @optimisticprime3 @httpjiikook @hnslchw @ioonatv @ackermanbitch @jay1bird23 @martinsmomo @brilliantopposite187 @calumhoodssidehoe @truthfuleeyours @code-roevember @cappucinolia @wrappedinfiction @angelmenace @your-shifting-gurl @gimalo135 @xaimary @v-linelicker @imonmykneessir @kayler-23 @dilfdemolisher @pedropascalslilbaby @rh1nestonecowg1rl @randomstory56 @ipadkidsworld @kobababysblog @wren-ly @morganfullaaa @theyoutubedork

[starwarsbian]

stonerboyfriend!anakin <3

this is gonna be smut pls avert your eyes if you’re -18!

enjoy these hot gifs of sam monroe but just.. he is my modern anakin mkay!

your boyfriend, anakin, gets you high in his bedroom and rails you while his halloween party is happening downstairs

3k words and NOT proofread

cw :weed, fingering, oral (f! receiving), spit, shotgunning, intoxicated sex, he fucks u with his rings on, scratching until he bleeds, p in v, unprotected sex, breeding kinda

halloween party thrown by ur weirdo emo bf anakin, music is blaring and he has you pulled up against his body: your back against his chest and ass pressing circles against his hips. he sways with you and curses into your neck at the feeling of your hips against his cock..

“fuck.. that’s good. this is so good. you’re perfect. i can’t wait to get you upstairs.”

with that he spins you around and crashes your lips together; teeth almost clashing but it’s mostly just panting in between him languidly.. sucking on your tongue.

it is absolutely intoxicating and ani tastes like weed. you don’t even care that you’re in front of people right now as he grabs your ass.

“come upstairs and smoke with me, baby,” he grins at you and pulls you towards the stairs.

you’re both laughing and excited when you get into his room. the walls are covered in posters and his bed up against the wall isn’t made. other than that it’s not really messy. ani’s bong sits on his night stand and he sits down on the bed.

“wait here, the water is really dirty i don’t want you to have to taste that. deserve better than that,” as he walks to the bathroom.

it’s a nice gesture but really his bong is filthy regardless of any clean water. his grinder is sitting on the table as well, he picks it up and opens it to pack the bowl.

“ah, yes. what a gentlemen.”

“shut up. i didn’t think you’d want to do it? you said it’s annoying before. just shhh, stop being a brat.”

he goes to hand you the bong but you stop him, “will you light it for me, ani?” looking at him with your best doe eyes. it’s far from necessary as you smoke together all the time but it’s intimate and you kind of hope it turns him on more.

he rolls his eyes at you but tells you yes anyway. he lights the bowl for you as you pull smoke into the bong and when he thinks it’s enough for one hit he takes the bowl out; breaking the closed loop of air inside so you can actually inhale it.

he smiles at you as you exhale and cough a few times. he does the same process for himself as you recover.

“you look pretty like this; you really always look pretty when we’re smoking. there’s something about it that’s just hot.”

you take the bong back and look at him confused, even though you know what he means because you could seriously watch him do this all day. the ways his hands look, his mouth pressed against the glass, how he relaxes on his exhales, when he also coughs and looks at you with low glossy eyes.

“yeah, right. don’t make fun of me,” you pout.

“shhh, i’m not. hit this, i’ll light it again for you, pretty girl.”

you do exactly as he says and he brushes your hair behind your ear; making sure it’s not near the flame. you do the normal inhale and exhale, feeling the burning in your throat but nodding to anakin for him to light it for you again; with his right hand.

his left slides up your thigh; you’re sitting criss-cross on his bed even though you’re wearing a skirt. you didn’t even think about it but anakin noticed; seeing just a flash of your panties when you’ve shifted around on the bed. he starts massaging your thigh; gripping and pressing against your skin. you’re smiling as you pass the bong back to him. he takes his hands back and empties the cashed bowl into his ashtray.

“another one, babe?” he asks you.

“yes, actually. if you don’t mind, ani.”

“mmm-mm,” he says shaking his head as he for some reason has the bag of weed in between his teeth. you don’t ask; maybe just think about how you wish it was you he was biting. “i don’t mind.”

the whole process of smoking with ani is always relaxing and repetitive. he really doesn’t make you do anything. if you wanted he’d let you lay in his bed while he does everything but actually breathe. sometimes he’ll do the breathing part too though.

the bowl is packed and he lights it, going to hit it for himself first but instead of actually breathing it into his lungs he holds the smoke he can in his mouth and pulls you towards him. anakin gets his lips so close to yours you might as well be kissing as he holds your cheek and blows the smoke into your mouth. you breathe it all in greedily before kissing him and exhaling from your nose so you hopefully don’t choke. by some miracle you don’t! it goes smoothly and anakin kisses you back until you break the kiss, gasping for air.

his hands are back on your thighs again and he faces you with the biggest smile on his face. “you’re so hot that i can’t even think,” he says.

you giggle and reach for the bong to hit by yourself. he’s moving closer and closer to touching your center but stops to tease and ask for consent.

“i wanna touch you, baby. let me tease you and make you feel good.”

“we’re smoking! wouldn’t want this to go to waste”, you say, teasing him.

“yeah, sure, whatever. let’s smoke more…i love touching you when you’re high and all you can do is babble and whine, anyway. one of my favorite ways to have you.”

you take turns hitting the piece through three more bowls. by the time you’re finished, your throat burns and you’re practically buzzing with excitement for how good this high sex is going to be with anakin. this entire time he’s been playing with your thighs and touching the wet spot in your panties with whatever part of his hand he wants. he tries using his thumb, then his index, then his middle, then both of them; he presses harder or softer depending on what part of smoking you’re on because he really doesn’t want to ruin the mood by making you choke on smoke.

“are you done? i want you on my lap,” he whispers into your ear. sitting the bong down for the last time, you allow him to grab your hips and pull you onto him. he’s laying on his bed with his back up against the headboard. his thumbs press hard into your hips and you moan at the feeling.

anakin presses his lips to yours. they’re soft and warm against yours. you grind your hips down onto his and feel the cold metal of the chain on his jeans against your thigh. his head falls back with his mouth open at the pressure against his cock. he can feel the pooling of precum on his tip already. watching you put your pretty lips on his bong and suck reminded him way too much of how you give him head. he wonders if that just makes him a pervert.

anakin slips his hands under your shirt and reaches up to pinch both of your nipples. you hiss at the sensation and slap his hands away. “too rough, ani. touch me softer there. be rough other places instead.”

“sorry, baby..i just got carried away. i know that’s what you prefer. let me kiss it better. huh?” he asks as he pulls your shirt off. you nod and put your fingers into his hair as he lowers his mouth down to your left nipple. his tongue piercing drags heavy across the area with the metal providing a stark difference in sensation compared to his soft tongue and mouth. he switches to the other, being careful not to neglect either side.

anakin messily drags his tongue up your chest and onto your neck. he latches onto your skin and sucks; ani gives dark hickeys every time even though he says he tries to be gentle. he leaves you covered in blooming blurry bruises from his mouth. he’s using his teeth and Scraping across your flesh. there’s a pinching sensation that’s quickly soothed by his tongue swiping over the spot of irritation. the blood vessels in your breast are below such thin skin that the marks he leaves there would look concerning. those ones come out a pretty purple color with dark shades of red and eventually yellow as they heal. he’s so rough that the marks there always hurt like real bruises the next day. any bruises anakin leaves on you he loves to dig his fingers into the next time he fucks you. maybe that’s why he’s squeezing your hips so hard.

he switched places with you; making you lie on the bed while he kisses and bites his way down your body. he desperately grabs at your body like you’re going to run away from him and you think about it as he sinks his teeth down hard on your hip and then your inner thigh and then the other inner thigh. each time makes you rip on his hair harder trying to get him to let go. he thinks it’s cute but the hair pulling really just makes him want to be even more mean to you.

anakin absolutely adores you but he’s high and he’s horny and wants to make you cry.

with his mouth inches from your clit he pulls your panties to the side and breathes warm air onto your cunt, sending shivers up your spine. “c’mon, anakin. give me your tongue..give me your fingers or your cock just do something i’m right here for you and i need you, god damn it.”

he decides he’s going to make you pay for running your little whore mouth later but for now he takes your panties off. he starts to akes them off really slow and nips behind where the fabric last touched and he taps your hip to tell you to lift up.

you do as he says and he obnoxiously throws them over his shoulder before dropping back down between your thighs.

you’re ridiculously wet but that always happens with anakin. he loves to tease you about it and take time to “clean up his mess” he says. his tongue presses between your folds; warm and wet and soft in a very different way to the way his fingers had been touching you. he spreads you a little to give you open mouthed kisses on your clit before he takes the bud into his mouth and sucks softly.

he closes his eyes and focuses on how you taste, dipping his tongue down to gather your slick. with his lips around your clit, he sucks harder and it makes your hips buck up and your hands pull at his dyed hair.

“fuck, anakin. easy, please?” you ask of him.

he shakes his head from between your thighs and slaps your left one really hard without even thinking about it.

“i’m busy? stop complaining.”

he spits on your pussy before he goes back to sucking and licking everywhere he wants. wet, soft circles are being drawn by him around your clit now while he brings his middle finger to your hole. he does circles around it as he looks up at you for permission.

“yes. yes, please.”

he smiles against your thigh and pushes into you up to last knuckle. you feel what seems like an extra bump around his finger? he’s left his rings on.

“what, baby? is something wrong?”

“it’s just—“ you’re cut off as he presses up into your g-spot.”

“it’s what? use your words.”

“your ring.. you didn’t take it off. you didn’t take any of them off.”

he adds his index finger— with another ring still on it.

“you like it. i can tell that you like it. probably wanted to feel them before this and wouldn’t even tell me,” he says.

it seems they’re just plain bands as there’s no unpleasant scraping and you decide to let him keep going. you’re blushing, though.

“yes, i like it. i’m not objecting, am i?”you say, arching into his hand.

anakin takes to the approach of reaching deep into you and letting the rings be pressing up against the spot you really like. he thinks it’s so hot, seeing you wrap around his fingers. your wetness has his entire hand slick as he speeds up.

“anakin..anakin…oh my god. im close,” you whine.

he immediately removes his fingers and puts them into his mouth to suck them clean. now he removes his rings and leans back down to you, kissing you roughly. he’s using his teeth again, biting and pulling hard on your bottom lip that’s surely swollen by now.

“i want you to cum on my cock, not my fingers. not now at least.”

he shoves you roughly back down on his bed and takes his shirt off revealing his smooth skin and making your heart speed up like usual. crashing his lips into you he grinds himself onto your center, jeans still on.

“anakin,” you whine, “give it to me. i’ve been so good. i’m so high and horny and stupid for you. please fuck me.”

hopping off the bed he unbottons his jeans and takes his boxers off with them. he’s so pretty, all of him. his cock is gorgeous and he loves when you suck him off but you’re begging for him so he doesn’t wait.

the bed creaks as he gets back on and kisses you, lifting your leg up to be bent over his arm as holds it up for you. he pushes into you and you drag your nails across his back hard.

anakin loves when you hurt him during sex and moans at the burning sensation left in your wake. So with each thrust into you, you rake nails down his back.

“do it harder. scratch me harder, make me bleed, baby. please,” he whines into your ear. “it’ll feel so good for me right now, and i’ll be reminded of fucking you like this for days because it stings. don’t you want that?”

you absolutely did. you nod and he speeds up his pace; he’s pounding into you now. he’s not going to fast that it hurts but his skin hits yours over and over. with almost every stroke you’re tearing his skin apart. scratches you’ve already made sting extra for him as you go back over and it makes him hiss.

“god.. that’s so good. you’re such a good girl. you take my cock so well; don’t you love when i split you open like this? you’re lucky the music is so loud or i think everyone would hear the noises you’ve been making for me.”

he stops and tells you to turn over. anakin presses your face down into the pillows and lines his hips up with yours. he’s holding down the center of your back, keeping you in this deep arch. when he starts to fuck you again it’s forceful and so unbelievably deep. you forget how far in he can go in the right position but you can feel in your stomach each time he touches your cervix.

you’re clenching and begging for him to make you cum when he reaches around to touch your swollen clit. as he drills into you from behind he rubs soothing circles on it. the mix of internal and external stimulation making the muscles in your core tense up. you’re even tighter around his cock although he’s sliding in and out like he was made to fit in you.

pulling you against his chest you both sit up, his knees in between yours holding your legs open while he fucks up into you.

he’s gripping your hair and forcing the air out of your lungs as you gasp and shove yourself further onto him. your slick is dripping onto his balls in this position and your pussy is making obscene noises.

“you’re so fucking wet. do you hear that? you let me get you stoned and wreck your hole with all of our friends just downstairs? do you know any of them could come up here and knock, trying to find us? i bet they could hear your cunt through the door if they tried to, or at the very least the sound of my bed frame about to put a hole in the wall from how hard i’m ruining your little cunt.”

your head is so fuzzy with pleasure you don’t even care. he can do anything he wants at this point and you wouldn’t object.

the knot building in your stomach is getting tighter and tighter and each swipe of anakin’s finger against your clit has you on the verge of tears.

“ani. ani, i’m gonna make a mess all over your cock. you’re going to make me cum. please don’t stop.”

he pants in time with each thrust and holds you close.

“i’m not stopping, angel. so hot that you let me use you like this. cum on my cock, baby. show me how good i make you feel.”

you fall apart as he holds you up and try to close your thighs, try to get him out when it becomes too much.

he forces them open and shoves your face down into the mattress to keep using your hole like a fuck toy. as soon as 10 thrusts later though he’s babbling about how he’s going to fill you up.

“i’m gonna cum. i’m gonna stuff you full, fuck it deeper until it hurts. oh, fuck,” anakin chokes on his last words. he fills you to the point it’s dripping out.

both of you taking deep breaths, he uses his finger to push it back into you while you gasp at the intrusion of your hole so soon.

“okay, baby,” he says. “let’s smoke some more so you let me keep going.”

[kisseobie]

jasmine

pairing: non idol jongseob x fem!reader

genre: fluff

a saccharine summer evening spent at your favorite nail parlor is so much sweeter when you’re accompanied by a boy made out of star-shaped tangerines 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

tags: established relationship, reader is slightly anxious, the sweetest boyfie seob, reader is sooo girly, slightly suggestive if you squint, jongseob thinks ur the prettiest girl in the world, usage of petnames (baby, princess, etc..), yall are so in love it’s sick, no smut in this but mdni pls

a/n: haiii everyone ^_^ so i haven’t written self inserts in years but i desperately crave more jongseob fics (as u can see from my last post lol) sooooo here i am!! this is very self indulgent but if i like how this goes i mighttttt start taking piwon requests :p please be kind as i haven’t written in a veryyyy long time… anyways enjoy 𓇼⋆｡˚

listening to: jasmine - dpr live ♪

“they have to soak off my previous set before they get started so you really don’t have to stay with me here if you don’t want to seob.. it’s gonna be 2 hours at least.”

you shyly inform him as you begin to retrieve your phone from your back pocket to search for your appointment confirmation email as the pair of you come to a gentle halt in front of the entrance of your favorite nail salon. you pause before entering, turning to face towards him as the salty breeze of the nearby boardwalk cards through jongseob’s copper colored hair, a sight that makes you swoon. “you sure you won’t be bored?” you ask shyly, and jongseob gives you a toothy grin in return, eyes crinkling softly as he tilts his head towards the sliding doors of the salon, a sweet and silent reply to your hesitance that speaks, “i’m never bored when i’m with you”. he slowly lifts his hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear and kisses your cheek, all whilst interlacing his fingers with your slightly smaller ones as you both make your way into the salon.

you somehow find yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

it’s been just short of a year since kim jongseob first approached you, fidgeting with the fabric of his favorite hoodie and swaying back and forth on his heels to ease his nerves as he asked you for your number. the sweet boy expected for you to kindly let him down (partly because you had never spoken to him a day in your life, and partly because of the gorillaz logo on his apparel), but to his astonishment, you simply punched your number into his keypad, and one text reading: “hi :)” led to a plethora of late night conversations, hushed giggles shared in his bedroom, and coffee flavored kisses in the mornings (much to his roomates’ dismay).

he’s wearing that same hoodie this evening too.

the domesticity of your blooming relationship is new, but never unwelcome, so it didn’t surprise you when he asked to accompany you when you were cuddled up with him a few nights ago, haphazardly mentioning that you were planning to get a new set of acrylics soon. seob had been paying for your previous sets despite your constant disapproval, but this was his first time going with you to a booking, and it felt oddly intimate, like you were starting to enter a more serious stage of your relationship.

jongseob’s reassurance allows you to let go of your irrational fear of him dying of boredom during your appointment, and with that, you two carry onto your seven o’clock session.

“girl, that’s your man? that’s the one you were telling me about?”

are the first words that leave your nail tech’s lips as as you settle down into her usual station, setting your purse to the side, straightening your jean skirt, and adjusting your bra strap as you question the surprise written all over her face. you had spent countless of sessions with her discussing your relationship with jongseob, her even being there for the details of your distant crush on him prior to you being asked out. always the persistent type, she had been practically begging for you to bring him around these last few appointments, mentioning something about “taking a good look” at the boy who had swiftly stolen your heart.

your tech must have noticed the slight blush of embarrassment appearing on your cheeks, because she jumped to clarifying her previous statement with, “i don’t mean that in a bad way babe! he’s definitely very attractive, i was just surprised you were so shy in approaching him is all.” at these words you tilted your head a bit, only more confused about the implications of what she was attempting to tell you.

“y/n, he was staring at you the entire time you were checking in like he’d hang the stars and moon for you if you’d ask. he had that dopey lovesick look and everything. he’s obviously smitten, you have literally nothing to worry about.” she relays to you with amusement as she dips your fingertips in acetone.

you let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in and quietly giggle. “really? okay i’m really glad you said that, he’s been so sweet to pay for all of my sets without me even asking him to and i was just so worried that he’d hate me forever if he got bored sitting here. i think i’m just not used to doing simple chores with him rather than elaborately planned dates” you whisper to her. you then take a peek at your boyfriend’s comfortable form lounging on one of the hot pink seats of the salon, his nintendo switch clad in one hand, and his cheek pressing against the other. you notice he only has his left airpod in, just in case you needed to call for him. your heart melts at the sight, and you finally turn your full attention back to your tech, now removing your old set of nails.

as you wait patiently in your chair you begin to lightly sway your head to the song playing on a distant salon speaker, one that your boyfriend coincidentally has on repeat each time your with him nowadays. “it’s called jasmine, it reminds me of you.” is what you remember him telling you one morning, when you woke up for the first time in his bed, wired headphones connecting you both as the dpr live track overtook the cozy atmosphere.

every now and then you and seob glance at each other from across the salon, to which you both begin breaking out into big smiles and rosy cheeks. your nail technician carries on with replicating the reference nails you showed her to a T, but not without silently noting the heart eyes you and jongseob shoot at each other everytime your eyes happen to lock. this time, he mischievously motions for you to glance at your phone, a quiet “ding!” from your cell grasping both you and your tech’s attention.

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: you look so pretty right now baby, i’m so excited to feel your nails in my hair later lol

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: and maybe scratching my back too ;)

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: omg that was so embarrassing im so sorry please look away plead im so bad at this fuck

you look away from your screen embarrassingly fast, flustered and avoiding any eye contact with both your loser boyfriend (who is wallowing in his own embarrassment) and the woman now raising her eyebrows in front of you as she waits for your nails to cure under the uv lamp.

she is so making fun of you for that next time.

“andddd we’re done! just go wash your hands and your boyfriend can pay at the desk. he looks like he’s gonna flip if he isn’t holding you in some way in the next two minutes and i really don’t need to witness that.” she exclaims, not without exaggeratedly rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

you begin to fully assess your fresh new set of acrylics, now topped off with a sparkly clear coat. your nail tech even added some oil to your cuticles to try and make up for months of self-inflicted damage. after a minute of observing, you hum in approval, deducing happily that your boyfriend is going to love the colors you chose: tangerine with hints of cherry red to subtly match with his hair.

“perfect, just like always. thank you so much!” you say while handing her a generous tip, to which she holds out her hand in refusal and shakes her head. “no tip today, just go spend some time with him, i’m so happy for you y/n, seriously.” she replies kindly. you give her a hug to say thanks and tuck the cash back into your purse, turning and making your way towards the chair your boyfriend is currently occupying as he watches you with a warm smile, hands crossed in front of his chest as he holds back a laugh.

“what’s so funny?” you question as you approach him slowly.

“i called her beforehand and sent her a tip for you, i knew you were gonna try to pay somehow.” he giggles as he stands up. you scoff, but deep down you know you should have known he would outsmart you like this.

“i can’t believe you! i’ve told you a hundred times before that i don’t want you to spend your money on me!” you try to reason with him, to which he cuts your frustration off with a simple “who’s going to take care of you then, princess? now show me your nails!” he says as he hovers his hands in front of him, a signal for you to follow suit so he can observe the result of the previous two hours of work.

you decide to drop the subject for now and let excitement take over once again at his request, bouncing up and down whilst placing your hands atop of his palms, not allowing him to speak before you explain that “they match your hair, see? i asked her to do orange and red ombre!! and i know you love stars so i also asked her to add little golden star studs on my pinky nails! what do you think babe?” you half squeal out at him, clearly awaiting his approval.

“you did this for me?” he asks.

you deflate a little, dreading the small chance that your next words will result in an underwhleming reaction from him. “well yeah, sorry if it’s weird, i just wanted to do something nice since you offered to accompany me even though you would just be sitting in your chair for two hou—” he cuts off your anxious rambling with a strong kiss to your lips, followed by both of his palms covering the sides of your face to pull you impossibly closer. you gasp from the sudden movement, and just as you close your eyes to reciprocate, your boyfriend pulls back to show you the prettiest smile you have ever seen on his face.

“i guess you like them.” you sheepishly respond, holding back a smile equally as large.

he just replies by peppering your tanned skin with tangerine flavored kisses, each peck accompanied with the words “i love you, i love you so much”.

you and jongseob finally step out of the salon hand in hand, the cool air blowing onto your faces as you squeeze your interlocked fingers. jongseob presses on the pedestrian call button with one hand as you both anticipate the streetlamp to shift to green. you fill the comfortable silence with giggles and the occasional kiss to the cheek the entire commute to the subway, uncaring of prolonged glances from onlookers. words are only spoken an hour later when you’ve finally enter the warmth of his (and practically your) bedroom. jongseob turns towards you this time, clearly not as timid as he was hours before, smirking while pronouncing,

“in case you were still wondering, that offer from my text earlier still stands…”

it’s your turn to roll your eyes and shut him up, tugging him roughly towards you with the front of his stupid hoodie as your mouths connect with an urgency you’ve never felt before, the pair of you hurriedly falling on top of his bed as your nails make contact with his scalp.

𓇼⋆｡˚

in the quiet of the night, considered by some as early hours of the morning, jongseob holds your bare frame tightly against his own as he strokes his hand along your freckled back. your warm breaths tuck into the small crevices of his chest as your tangerine tinted nails draw hearts lightly into his skin, and with that, the two of you gradually lull into a peaceful slumber, but not before you look up at him and whisper,

“i did it for you.”

a/n: mwahahahahahahahaha it’s finally out.. thank u for being patient!! it was honestly so motivating to see that despite the fact that so many people had never read my writing before, their love for jongseob made them crave this fic soooo much LMFAOO we all are so down bad for this man it’s a bit insane. anyways like i said i haven’t written for years so this was short and a little choppy but i tried my best and hopefully i’ll get better with time ^_^ anyways i’ll be finishing up my next fic soon and then i’ll start working on requests!! thank u for reading, it means a lot to me <3

please do not repost my writing!

tags:

@chuuswifereal @angelcbf @lakoya @zendieya-8 @bambispostsblog @saturnh0ney @theyluvsosa @youresolivlie @woozixo @www90kitsch @sirenla @ihatewreckingballmains @curiousgworge @haileyyey @khfviq @highkeyadumbasslmao @lovebunnys-world @astro-doll-the-star @kyokopi @meowmeowjang @imma-penguin1 @sophia-is-tiny

ᥫ᭡

[lueurjun]

shy soobin as your boyfriend

shy bf! soobin x reader — loving soobin hours rn majorly<3 in which soobin is completely and utterly enchanted and captivated by you, enamored with all that you are.

oh you lucky lucky gorgeous specimen

he is fr the perfect man but ur just as perfect so you know what? MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

the way you met is pretty standard

you worked at the barista he liked to visit frequently

he visited the coffee shop twice a day just to see you

and you had no idea that he thought u were a lil cutie patootie so you were a little concerned by his caffeine intake

he would stay and have like 3 cups each visit just so he could see you for as long as possible

most of the time he would be trying to work up the courage to say something other than his order but he couldn’t get the confidence

and despite you being concerned for his health, you lowkey HIGHKEY got excited everytime he came in because he was just so???

perfect

like you’re sure you heard wedding bells the first time you saw him

it’s okay babe so did the rest of us

we’re all a little delulu for soobin

anyways one day you’ve had enough

running off like two hours of sleep, the delirium kicks in and you have a massive burst of confidence

so you write your phone number on the cup for his final order which is to go

and soobin doesn’t notice until he gets home and taehyun spots the number on the side

“who in their right mind decided to give you their phone number? are they okay? why would they want you?”

soobin’s kinda like ??

because first of all RUDE of taehyun to attack him like that unprovoked

and second of all WHY IS THERE A PHONE NUMBER ON HIS CUP

from what he saw, you were the only one on shift making his drinks so??

it had to be from you

omg. the poor boy nearly goes into cardiac arrest

because wtf does he do now? he can’t just text you

what if it’s an accident?

there’s no way he can embarrass himself like that

so he decides to leave it despite the agonising ache to do anything but that

once he’s out of the room taehyun’s little shit mode is activated

soobin may not have the confidence to text you

but he sure does

‘hi. is this the girl from the coffee shop?”

honestly your heart shits itself

because you totally were not expecting him to text you back

‘yeah. sorry if this is weird and unprofessional. you can totally get me fired- i mean-i’d like prefer you to not but you totally can… i’m not a creep though… i promise’

you totally nailed that babes

definitely didn’t come across as a creep

already taehyun ships it and decides he has to play matchmaker because he already knows you’re perfect for soobin

so he sets the two of you up on a date

soobin damn near cries when he finds out an hour in advance

“a date? what? i don’t know how to do that”

poor boy is STRESSED

but much to his surprise, he doesn’t totally mess things up

the date actually goes smoothly and he leaves you with a kiss on the cheek after setting up a second date

you both squeal when you part ways

you’re both so cute pls get married

lemme be your maid of honour

ONTO THE RELATIONSHIP BC THIS IS ALREADY LONG IM VERY SORRY

boyfriend soobin is straight out of a book istg

he’s so awkward but in the best way??

like he’s not afraid to show you affection and tackle you with love

but the second you do something as simple as kiss his cheek

BLUSHING STUTTERING MESS

you have him wrapped around your pinky finger

honestly you could probably tell him to jump into a river and he most likely would without any questions

follows behind you like a lost puppy despite towering over everything

holding onto the tips of your fingers letting you drag him along

fancy dinners happen but the two of you are more order in and play mario kart

he’d probably let you win the first few times but the second you gloat about it

nah he’s playing like there’s 100k on the line

BACK HUGS BACK HUGS BACK HUGS

BACK MF HUGS

he loves snuggling into your neck and inhaling your scent. it calms him down for sure

you do this thing where you gently slide your hands up the back of his shirt

AND HE GIGGLES EVERYTIME

silently sharing his food and drink with you

he just holds the straw or food to your mouth without saying anything

whenever he buys you flowers, he takes one out and keeps it for himself so he knows when it’s time to replace them

you also love buying him flowers

he gently didn’t know what to do with himself the first time you did it

“these are for me? no way- you didn’t-babyyy”

can you hear my cries?

sliding down the wall rn

his instagram is pretty much a y/n fan page

like genuinely his feed is just you

visits you during work and spends half of the time flirting with you and the other half stuttering over his sentences because you threw a compliment at him

also your concerns for his health lessened once you realized he only drank that much caffeine just because he wanted to see you

if anyone tries to flirt with him, he’ll incorporate you into the conversation

the other person will just be stood there whilst he rants about all of the things he loves about you

it’s a reflex. he just loves you sm

taehyun can’t tell whether he’s happy for you both or genuinely disgusted

“the happiness i caused for you both makes me severely sickened.”

cue beomgyu popping up like “ALSO WRITING YOUR NUMBER ON HIS COFFEE ORDER? REALLY Y/N? THATS SO LAME”

they’re super happy for you both tho they just won’t admit it

you and soobin are in your own little love bubble

two hopelessly in love puppies who are destined to be together

absolutely adorable.

[cheolhub]

WORTH THE WAIT — KIM MINGYU ࿐

summary. mingyu forgets about the date you’ve had planned and he wants to show you he’s sorry in a rather unconventional way.

wc. 1.8k

warning. unprotected sex, couch sex, dumbification, lots of apologizing, big d!ck!gyu (ofc), kinda angsty but it’s all resolved, creampie — MINORS DNI 18+

note. this idea was sent by my beloved 🌵 anon… like…. literal months ago lol— it was a drabble at first, then it got a bit too long, so enjoy it xx [not proofread, kinda shitty]

contrary to belief, kim mingyu does have a few faults. he can be a bit clumsy and he’ll accidentally eat your leftovers every time he’s over, but the biggest fault of them all is… he can be a bit forgetful.

so when mingyu accidentally double books hanging out with wonwoo on the same night as your date, you find yourself dolled up and waiting around your apartment for him, unaware of his whereabouts. you hadn’t seen him much due to your conflicting schedules and you’d been looking forward to the date all week long.

you wait and wait— 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour. you text him a few times, but you don’t get a response and you figure he’s at work, asleep, or doing something else. whatever the case may be, he definitely forgot.

mingyu doesn’t realize this until he’s checking his phone for the first time of the hectic game night and he sees a string of text messages from you.

from you 6:33 

i can’t wait to see u!! :,)

from you 7:07

hi babyyy, text me when you’re here and i’ll come down

from you 7:39

gyu are you still coming?

if you wanna reschedule, we can… just text me back and let me know?

from you 8:02

i checked ur location to make sure u weren’t dead and i saw you were at woo’s

i’m just gonna assume ur with him, which is fine :) pls just let me know next time.

shit.

shit shit shit.

regardless of what you say, it’s not fine— he can practically hear your dejected voice through the text and the smiley face doesn’t do shit to mask it. 

he’s quick to tell wonwoo and make his way to your place, insides churning at the thought of you feeling stood up. he would never, in a million years, ever want to hurt you in any way.

he doesn’t text he’s here, he doesn’t knock, he just takes the spare key hidden under your placemat and lets himself in. 

you’re curled up on the couch in your date outfit watching some random show before you jolt at the sound of your door being unlocked. when mingyu walks in, panic on his face, you deflate a bit, internally thanking the universe that it was just him and not some intruder.

“baby…” 

you try to put a smile on as if he isn’t the last person you wanted to see at the moment, but mingyu sees through it. 

“hi, gyu.” you say curtly. “hope you had fun at wonwoo’s tonight.”

the subtle shade proves you’re upset, even if you had said it unconsciously. his lips turn down in a frown and he walks around the couch so he’s posted right in front of you.

“Y/N, you have to believe me— i’m so sorry. i got the days—“

you cut him off with a sigh, “gyu, seriously. it’s fine. it’s not that big of a deal. we can just do something the next time you’re free.” 

he doesn’t even know when next time will be given his rather strenuous schedule and you know that, yet those words come out of your mouth anyway. he huffs softly and takes a seat next to you, intertwining your hands into his.

“baby, please,” he whispers. “you know i would never stand you up on purpose. i lost my mind and got the days mixed up– please let me make it up to you.”

you shrug, avoiding eye contact. you want to stay mad, but the way he’s looking at you… the way he’s holding your hands… it’s making it impossible not to melt into a helpless puddle. “how?” you ask meekly.

he doesn’t say anything, letting go of your hands in favor of cupping your cheek and pulling you in. his soft lips meet yours and you practically forget why you’re angry to begin with. his tongue quickly finds its way into your mouth and your soft moan eases his nerves a bit. 

he pulls back, leaving you warm and fuzzy and a bit needy for more of him. he finally takes you in when his eyes open. you’re still in a pretty little outfit– presumably, one you’d picked out for your date– and it makes him groan a little bit. 

“you look so pretty, baby. you wore this all for me?”

you nod your head slowly. “i was really excited to show you…”

he frowns, “i know, i’m sorry… i’m so, so sorry,” he mumbles and you don’t say anymore, simply nodding your head at his apology. his lips are on yours again, rougher this time. it’s like he’s trying to prove just how sorry he is with every passing second. 

and when he breaks the kiss again, you whine. “gyu…”

“wanna take this off. can i?” he asks, referring to your dress and you just nod again. 

his hands find the hem, pulling it up and over your head, leaving you in your even prettier set. the black lace adorns your body and mingyu feels his pants tighten at the mere sight. 

he’s breathless when the pet name falls from his lips, “baby…”

he’s so glad you didn’t change, but he feels like such an idiot for fucking up this bad. he wishes he checked his phone earlier, he wishes he remembered your date was tonight, he wishes he could’ve taken you out in your gorgeous dress and brought you back home to see the even more gorgeous set underneath. 

but he’ll make up for it. he’ll spend all the time in the world doing so if he needs to.

he stands to his feet pulling his shorts off and revealing his aching cock. you bite your lip and slide down so your back and head are comfortably on the cushion of your couch, eyes trained on his huge length.

he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your panties, rolling them down your legs and leaving your now-wet cunt bare. 

“so beautiful… so fuckin’ beautiful angel, can… can i keep going?”

you whimper and wordlessly nod again, brain unable to give him a verbal response. he grunts, joining you back on the couch by getting in between your legs. 

“tell me when…” he whispers, aligning himself with your hole before pressing his fat cock into you. “fuck, so tight…”

the burning stretch of your walls opening to take him makes your head spin a bit. no matter how many times he fucks you, it always hurts.

at first, at least, because now he’s balls deep in your pulsing cunt and all you can feel is blinding pleasure. the burn and stretch have subsided and your brain has turned to complete and utter mush. 

you clench around him tightly and he has to ask, “are you good, baby?”

you dumbly nod– it’s all you can do– but mingyu can’t help but feel more anxiety fill his body. you’ve barely said any words to him and it makes him worry that you won’t forgive him. 

you moan when his cock leaves just for it to suddenly fill you back up with a single, sharp thrust. this is how it starts before he’s moving faster and faster. 

words still fail to leave your mouth, just cute gasps and clipped moans, but mingyu can’t seem to stop breathy apologies from leaving his own. “‘m sorry… you know that right, angel? ‘m so sorry.”

and your eyes just roll back, ignoring his apologies as you’re all consumed by his massive cock fucking in and out of you. mindless babbles escape your lips and it’s not till then does mingyu realize how brainless you’ve become. 

it makes his heart clench. you’ve never gotten like this for him before and he knows it’s a result of being left to your own devices for far too long. he knows he hasn’t been there for you, knows you haven’t been able to cum properly in god knows how long and it hurts him. it hurts him so fucking bad.

and, to be transparent, he’s missed you more than you know.

his hand finds your abdomen, pressing down so he can feel himself thrusting into you. in doing so, his thumb reaches your clit and this seems to bring some life to you. “gyu!” you cry. “feels s’good!”

he lets out an elated chuckle at the sound of your voice, “yeah? it feels good, angel?”

and it’s almost like you read his mind with your next words. “s-so good, m-missed you.” 

a guttural groan erupts in his throat and he starts to fuck you harder– to fuck you deeper– and the thumb on your clit moves quicker, effectively stimulating the swollen bud. “me too– fuck, missed you so much. missed fucking this pretty pussy so much, baby, you don’t even know.”

your face pinches together in pleasure and you clamp his dick harder at the affirmation. “i-i’m–” you let out a gaspy whine and mingyu knows exactly what it means.

“gonna cum?” he finishes your broken sentence. 

you nod eagerly, eyebrows knit together as you feel the formed knot in your tummy get tighter and tighter. “gyu–”

he shushes, thrusts growing erratic. his voice is hot and breathy and you can tell, just by the sound of it, he’s just as close as you are. “just cum for me, baby– need you to let go ‘n cum all over my cock. you can do it.” 

you cry, body going taut as you cream all over him, pussy trapping him between your pulsing, velvet walls. mindlessly, you babble out some words that he can barely make out, but the second he hears those three words– i love you, said in your cute, pitchy voice– his worries wash away. 

he’s overcome by love and the feeling of you gripping him for dear life and the only thing he can do is press his hips flush against yours and fill you up the way he knows you need. his cum paints your walls, fulfilling the craving you didn’t even know you had. 

“god,” he moans, panting out, cock still twitching between your spasming walls. “please forgive me, angel. i promise i’ll be better ‘n make more time for you”

part of your mind finds its way back to you after a few seconds and you can’t help but giggle at his words. “i forgave you after you kissed me, babe.”

he smiles, large hands caressing your body, “really?”

you hum, hazy eyes taking him in, “mmh, you’re really hard to be mad at, you know that, right?”

“good ‘cus i don’t like when you’re mad at me.”

“well, then don’t do stupid things.”

he whines, “baby, you know that’s impossible for me, stupidity is practically in my dna.”

you giggle at the joke. “i know… but… i won’t be so nice to you next time you decided to hang out with wonwoo instead of taking me out.”

“you can be as mean to me as you want, baby, but i swear, i’ll never stand you up ever again.”

“good.” you smile back at him. “now… maybe you can prove how sorry you are again? in my bed this time?”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[writingstoraes]

Hey! Your social media fics are so freaking cute, I love them so much 🥹 If you do take requests, could you please do one which is Charles x singer!reader (who's pretty famous, on like a Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez level) announcing their relationship or just like a random vacation post? Thank you so much, I hope I didn't make the request too long <33

relationship release 💿

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!singer!reader

type: instagram imagine/social media au

notes: tysm for requesting this, anon 🤍 my first time doing a request so i hope you like it! used hailee steinfeld for the faceclaim :') not revised so please expect errors hehe lmk what u think!

about: you and charles go public just in time for your album release!

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, zendaya, charles_leclerc, and 3,582,918 others

yourusername A photo dump to commemorate the busiest months of my life 📷 from recording my new album (which I am very excited for you guys to hear), taking time for myself, to rehearsing for my world tour. Grateful to be doing what I am passionate about every single day of my life ❤️

zendaya You look amazing, can't wait for the album, love! 💋💋

y/nqueen MAM DID U JUST SOFT LAUNCH A MAN

filmsy/n ik what the fuck she did not just casually drop a soft launch in the middle of the noise of her new album 😭

popgirlsz Am I seeing this right or is the queen of pop in a relationship....

selenagomez Excited for the tour ❤️ Will be in front row for sureeee

singzqueen THIS IS NOT A DRILL SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND OH MY GODDDD

f1fan Oh my god Charles liked? Maybe hes the guy 🫣

popthusiast u reaching too much lmaooo maybe hes just a fan

yourusername

liked by ashleybenson, florencepugh, billieeilish, and 3,981,234 others

yourusername My new album Red Letters comes out in 3 days. ❤️ It has been an incredible journey working on this masterpiece and I cannot wait for you guys to enter the pages of the stories I want to share. Red Letters is all about being wrapped in a heart-shaped dynamic, letting an amalgamation of sensations embrace us as we finally let love in.

As for me, well, loving him has always been red.

florencepugh Loving everything already and it's not even out yet! Such amazing work you've done ❣️

taylorswift My girl ❤️

popgirly/n girlie telling us her new album is about love after soft launching a week ago oh i cant breathe

lanadelslays She knows how to keep us on the hook 😭

yn4ever "Loving him has always been red" QUEEN WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

popfan21 guy lucky as hell imagine being talked about like that... by y/n... living his best life fr

ynlover THE PICTURE IS SO CUTE TOO THATS PROBABLY THEM

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, lewishamilton, and 1,997,239 others

charles_leclerc Immensely excited about the Red Letters release: not only because of the new, amazing music Y/N will be sharing to the world but because today is the day I get to show everyone the love of my life. Every day it feels like I'm in a fever dream because I'm with someone so talented, charming, and kind.

Mon angè, you never fail to amaze me. My heart is full just seeing you conquer the world. Je tàime, yourusername ❤️

PS. I guess I am the red guy, yes?

carlossainz55 Finally! Charles has been waiting for this moment for quite some time now 🤣

danielricciardo Okay we see you Mr. Red Guy 👀

zendaya Take care of her or there will be consequences!

ilpredestinato KINGGGG SO DESERVED U GUYS ARE SO CUTE

charlos1655 such a hot couple too god they are so

pierregasly Finally went to Y/N's concert without wearing a disguise I am happy for you mate 👏

itpopgirl power couple ugh we love to see it

---------

tagging: @slytherheign hope ure doing well mwah

notes: this took me some time lmao anyways pls bare w me if i use the same usernames for the fan reactions on twitter its so harddd thinking of new usernames everytime 😭 i hope u liked this, anon! lmk what u guys think <33 tysm for reading!

[lucy90712]

hii

pls could write a Jude Bellingham x reader YN is Jobes best friend since they were like 5 and YN moved next door, she always had a crush on Jude and everyone could tell but he always turned her down and then he sees her tryna move on and he’s like what’d u think ur doing

WC: 2.8k Ever since I was born pretty much I've known the Bellinghams. When I was born Jude was a little over a year old and then Jobe was born about a year after that. Our parents were friends before any of us were born and they lived just down the road from each other so all of us have been around each other pretty much from the day we were born. As we grew up I only became closer with both Jude and Jobe but as we've gotten older I have gotten closer to Jobe as he's around more and I just feel like I have more in common with him than I do with Jude as he's older so he can always do things before we can. 

One of the other reasons I think I'm not as close with Jude is because I've had a crush on him for a while, when he moved away to go and play in Germany my feelings for him started to change. It seemed like he became a man all of a sudden, he wasn't the Jude I used to know from when we were in our early teens he was different, all of a sudden he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen. Whenever he came home all I could do was admire him and the muscles he'd clearly been working hard to get as well as his face which just seemed so perfect. It was obvious to everyone that I has a crush on Jude even Jobe made fun of me a few times for fawning over his brother. There came a time when Jude sat me down and tried letting me down gently saying that he thought we were better off as friends which hurt a hell of a lot at the time but I've since got over that disappointment. 

Sadly I never got over my feelings for Jude instead I just distracted myself with other guys who were nowhere near as good as Jude and honestly half of them I didn't even really like but it was only a bit of harmless flirting I never went any further as I just didn't want to. I know one day I'll meet a guy I love as much if not more than Jude and then I'll be happier than I am now pining over a guy that doesn't even like me back. It's been a while since I've seen Jude as he's been so busy with the end of the season which has actually helped me quite a lot as not seeing him and trying not to pay much attention to things he posts has kept him out my mind. All of this has been on purpose too as my birthday is today and I didn't want to only be thinking about Jude on my birthday. 

With it being my 18th birthday all my friends have convinced me to go out clubbing with them. They've all turned 18 already and have been out quite a few times and they want me to join them. There has been times they've tried to convince me to get a fake id but I refused as I'm not bothered about going out plus it wouldn't work anyway as quite a few people here know who I am because of my friendship with Jude and Jobe so I never bothered. Sadly Jobe can't come and enjoy my birthday with me as he's not 18 yet but I promised I'd spend the rest of the day with him as he said he didn't want to not see me on my birthday. We've spent all of our past birthdays together and I couldn't be the one to ruin that tradition plus I think I'll enjoy spending the day with Jobe more than I will then going out. 

~~~~~~~~~~

As it's my birthday I wanted to sleep in for a bit longer than I usually would but that didn't happen as the sound of my phone notifications woke me up. When I looked at it my home screen was flooded with notifications of texts and Instagram posts from my friends. I answered a few texts before there was a knock on my bedroom door and my mum came in with breakfast for me which she'd spent her morning making. She had to go to work but she promised that she'd give me my presents later before I go out which didn't bother me as I don't need any presents I just want to enjoy my birthday. 

Once my mum had left I went back to looking at my phone and replying to people, at some point I went on Instagram and saw that Jude had tagged me on his story and I don't think I've ever clicked on a notification so quickly. He had posted a picture of the two of us from when we were younger covered in mud from where we'd been playing outside in the rain with a caption wishing me a happy birthday. It made me feel all warm inside that he bothered to post something instead of just texting me as he doesn't post much that isn't to do with football. 

After I'd caught up on my notifications I got myself out of bed and got ready so I could go and see Jobe. He wanted me to go to his so I text him just before I left the house so he'd be expecting me. Seeing as its only a few minutes down the road I was happy to walk plus it's such a nice day that I wanted to get outside and soak up the sun even if it's only for a few minutes. When I arrived I didn't even get the chance to knock on the door before it swung open and Jobe tackled me straight into a hug. Jobe has always been like this with me we are just so close that we are always excited when we get to spend time together especially on special days like birthdays. Eventually he let go of me and allowed me inside but he quickly covered my eyes as he said he had a surprise waiting for me in the living room. I was a bit nervous as you never know what a Jobe surprise will be but I had a bit of faith that he wouldn't do anything I'd hate on my birthday. 

It felt like we walked forever but eventually we stopped and Jobe instructed me to open my eyes. It took a second for my eyes to adjust but when they did the first thing I saw was a smiling Jude sat on the sofa. If it were possible my jaw would've hit the floor as Jude wasn't supposed to be home he was supposed to still be in Germany for another week but there he was and I definitely wasn't seeing things. 

"Happy birthday y/n/n" Jude said 

"What are you doing here I thought you still had to be in Germany" I questioned 

"You didn't think I'd miss your 18th did you plus I may have lied to be able to surprise you" he said 

"I'm so happy you're here it's been ages since I've seen you" I said 

He got up and gave me a hug before ushering me to sit down while him and Jobe ran off somewhere. They came back a minute later holding far too many presents which they piled on my lap so that I couldn't move anymore. I tried telling them off for getting me so many unnecessary presents but they insisted that it was necessary as in their words you only turn 18 once. Seeing as they were both so excited about it I opened the presents in whatever order they agreed on which did involve a bit of arguing but we got there in the end. They got me so many nice things that made me feel so loved but also a bit bad as I could never afford to do the same for them. 

"Thank you guys so much I really appreciate everything but you shouldn't have gotten me so much I'll never be able to top or even match that" I said 

"It's ok we don't need you to do anything for us we just love having you around" Jobe said 

"Aww you're going to make my cry" I said 

"Don't cry instead tell me what you've got planned for today" Jude said 

"Well first I'm hanging out with you guys but then my friends convinced me to go out tonight" I said 

"Is it just you and your friends going?" Jude asked 

"Yeah me and I think 3 of the girls the rest can't make it" I said 

"Well I'm coming with you whether you like it or not I'm not letting you go out for the first time without someone to keep you safe" he said super seriously 

"I'll be fine Jude I won't even drink that much" I said 

"I don't care it's not safe for you to be going out with just a few of your friends I promise I'll leave you be I just can't let you go alone" he said 

"Fine you can come but be prepared the girls will go crazy" I laughed 

~~~~~~~~~~

I spent the rest of the day with Jude and Jobe just hanging out like we used to do all the time when we were a bit younger. They even got me a cake which they definitely aren't supposed to eat with their diet but they did and made me promise not to tell anyone. A bit later I had to leave to get ready but not before Jude cornered me to make me promise to text him when I was ready to go and he'd come over so we could go together. I was still anxious about him coming as for one I don't want to get drunk and say something stupid to him but also I didn't want him to be on my mind all night. Tonight was supposed to be the night I get to let go and enjoy myself and maybe find a guy I like to flirt with but I feel like I can't do that with Jude around as my mind will be on him the entire time. I appreciate his concern about me going out but I can handle myself and I'd be fine without him. That being said it's been a long time since I've really spent any time with him so it will be nice to have Jude there. 

Once I was home and getting ready I was texting my friends to get their opinion on my outfit as I don't really know what to wear out. They helped me get it down to two options but once I told them Jude was coming they picked the shorter tighter dress straight away as they know I like Jude so I guess they are being good friends. Seeing as they picked a nice dress I decided to go all out on my hair and makeup too and if I do say so myself I looked pretty good. After I'd done a few touch ups I text Jude to let him know I was ready and headed downstairs to put my shoes on as I knew he'd be a few minutes. 

Jude arrived and honked the horn of his car to get me to go outside (let's just pretend he can drive) so I made my way to the car slowly trying to not fall over with my heels on the gravel of the driveway. Jude must've noticed my struggle as he got out the car and helped me into the passenger side of the car. 

"You look beautiful" he said 

"Thank you" I said feeling my cheeks turn pink 

"You know you don't have to drive if you want to drink we can get an Uber" I said 

"No it's ok I won't drink I'm only going to make sure you and you're friends are ok" he said 

"They're all really excited that your coming I think they might spend more time with you than they will with me" I laughed 

"I won't let them you'll barely notice I'm there" he smiled 

We arrived at the club and true to his word Jude disappeared as soon as I was with my friends although he did instruct me to put any drinks I had on a tab he'd make for me as he didn't want to me pay for anything on my birthday. He'd gone before I could argue with him so I didn't bother I just did exactly what he told me to and got myself a drink before heading to dance with my friends. As I was dancing my friends told me that there was a guy who wouldn't stop staring at me so I managed to sneak a glance in his direction and he was actually really cute. He noticed me looking at him and shot me a smile before making his way over. 

Straight away he complimented me but not just on my outfit which made me let down my guard a little bit as I could tell he was genuinely interested in me. Once he found out it was my birthday he wished me a happy birthday and offered to buy me a drink which I was happy to accept. As we both sipped on our drinks we started properly talking and we just got on like a house on fire. We actually had a few things in common and he was such a nice guy that it was hard not to get along with him. Once we finished our drinks he took me back to the dance floor and we danced together. To begin with he didn't have his hands on me but I grabbed his arms and put his hands on my waist as I was feeling little more confident than usual. 

I was really enjoying myself dancing and laughing with this guy my mind was only thinking about him and not about Jude at all. It's been so long since I've thought about any guy in front of me and not compared him to Jude, it was honestly so nice to have finally found a guy that made me forget about Jude and that clearly had the same feelings that I did. My enjoyment was short lived though as not long after I felt someone grab my arm and pull me away, I was about to punch the person until I got a look at them and realised it was Jude and honestly I still kind of wanted to punch him as he was supposed to leave me be and I was actually enjoying myself. 

He dragged me all the way out of the club and back to the car which is when he finally let go of his grip on my arm and I just stared at him. Neither of us moved nor said anything for a good few moments until I decided I wanted to go back in if he wasn't going to talk but as soon as I turned around he grabbed my arm again and brought me back to face him. Again the staring ensued and I was really starting to get annoyed. 

"What's going on Jude if you aren't going to say anything let me go I was enjoying my time with that guy" I said 

"I can't let you go back in" he said hastily 

"Tell me why then as I'm not going to stand here forever" I said 

"Because I'm jealous ok I don't know why but seeing you with that guy made me realise that I've been lying to myself for a long time I do have feelings for you I've just been trying to tell myself I don't as I don't want to ruin our friendship" he admitted 

"What you have feelings for me?" I questioned in complete disbelief 

"Yeah I do I know that I made it seem like I didn't see you that way but I have had feelings for a while I just didn't want to change things between us or make things awkward with you and Jobe as I know how close you both are but I can't keep lying I want to be with you y/n" he said 

"I think it's pretty clear that I still have feelings for you and I really want to give us a go I know it will be different but let's be honest Jobe’s been wishing we'd get together for ages so I'm sure everything will be ok" I said 

"Then will you be my girlfriend officially?" He asked 

"I would love to" I smiled 

"Now let's go and have some proper fun" he said taking my hand to lead me back inside 

[whyse7vn]

I AM NOT UR GF -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SEOKJIN -

y/n: i’ll kill you

jin: i’m into that

y/n: ur going to hell

jin: i’ll take you with me

y/n: i’m going to heaven i’m an angel

jin: my angel

y/n: gross

jin: only for you

y/n: we are not together

jin: ???

sorry i can’t read

y/n: clearly

jin: take ur clothes off

y/n: ???

jin: sorry autocorrect

y/n: why did you tell the boys we are dating?

jin: i did?

lmao yeah i did

sorry i could never lie to the loml like that

y/n: what?

jin: ur on my will

y/n: happy one day to us 🥂❤️

jin: i like being used

y/n: yk what i’m having second thoughts

jin: as long as it’s you using me

y/n: uncomfortable rn

jin: i’ll make you comfortable

y/n: ur the cause

jin: ur my cause ❤️

y/n: what does that even mean??

jin: kiss me

y/n: leave me alone i’m tired

jin: i’ll build you a bed

y/n: what

jin: i cook

y/n: ur like 62

jin: age is a construct

y/n: ur gonna get arrested with a mindset like that

jin: would go to jail 10x over for you

y/n: out of context this looks insane

jin: you make me insane

and keep me sane ❤️

y/n: what

are you drunk?

jin: a bit

y/n: yikes

jin: my hips work

y/n: i would hope so?

jin: use me

y/n: you need to be put down immediately

JIMIN -

y/n: ummmmm?????

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: i am not ur gf

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: why are you telling people i’m ur gf

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: ummmmm?????

jimin: i thought it was time to tell people

y/n: tell people lies???

jimin: we are always together anyways i am doing us a favour tbh

y/n: “am” so ur still actively telling people that we are together?

jimin: ur so smart this is why i love you 😘

y/n: so were you in love with me when you flirted with the waitress right in front of me when we went out YESTERDAY?

jimin: why were you jealous?? 😏

y/n: ur actually insane like clinically insane

jimin: it was a moment of weakness babe 🥺

y/n: moment of weakness??

you have like 20 of those a day

jimin: omg i’m just a natural flirt yk i can’t help it 😞

y/n: i think the word ur looking for is whore?

jimin: I AM NOT A WHORE

y/n: yeah ok

jimin: unless you want me to be a whore then i’m the biggest whore you know honestly and truly!!!!!!

y/n: ur gross

jimin: ofc i’ll marry you!

y/n: ???

jimin: wow i’m so emotional rn

i love you i’m so excited for our future

i know some people may say we’re moving to fast but idc the truth is that i’m so in love with you i can hardly breathe!!!

y/n: get actual help.

HOSEOK -

hobi: we

y/n: no

hobi: us

y/n: no

hobi: hands held

y/n: no

hobi: mouth 2 mouth

y/n: still no

hobi: i told my parents about us

y/n: ur mother is gonna beat ur ass for lying

hobi: i told the boys about us

y/n: we are not together

hobi: the company is next

y/n: you won’t live to see another day if you do

hobi: i hope our kids have ur eyes

y/n: i can report you for harassment you know?

hobi: my pretty gf

i love you ^^

y/n: blushed for a second

that’s all you’ll ever get out of me

hobi: ur soosososososo cute

σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

i’m gonna eat you

y/n: this isn’t right

hobi: this is the rightest thing ever

y/n: go outside or something

hobi: come with me

y/n: there is no hope for the kids these days 😞

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO BE FLIRTING WITH THE KIM MINGYU AND FOR HIM TO BE LIKE “ARE YOU NOT DATING JK?”

jk: i’m going to kill myself

y/n: ARE YOU SICK IN THE HEAD IM GOING TO FIND YOU AND KILL YOU

jk: i’m already dead

y/n: GOOD

jk: i can’t believe you talk to other men

oh my god i cjant breathe rn iMmm loosing vision hhe lp mmme…

y/n: IM SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GODODJD

jk: so like did you did you tell him we’re together or…

y/n: NO U SICKX SICK FUCK

I TOLD HIM NO IM NOT WITH FUCKING JUNGKOOK ARE YOU OUT OF UR MIND

jk: wow

in all caps like that?? a bit harsh

y/n: FUCK YOU

jk: pls stop shouting yk im a sensitive soul

y/n: WHY DID YOU TELL HIM WE ARE TOGETHER????????

jk: i didn’t tell him directly omg?

i messaged him

y/n: WTF IS UR PROBLEM????

jk: WAIT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH MINGYU?????????????????????

WHAT THE FUCKCKCKDK

y/n: i hate you

i’ve never wanted to push someone out of a building so bad until i met you

jk: that’s kinda cute

you think of me??

i love you too

y/n: you have 3 days to live

jk: as long as i’m with you nothing can take me out

y/n: shut the fuck up

yk know whose taking me out tho?

mingyu 🥰

jk: what

y/n: ?

jk: i have dispatch on the phone rn

y/n: tell them

being mingyu’s gf publicly? a dream come true tbh 😍

jk: when ur new bf is kicked out his group becomes broke and is living on the streets i’m sure ur dream will be alive and well

y/n: oh it will

with my baby through thick and thin 🤞🏽

jk: i’m going to kill myself

y/n: idc!

jk: i love you

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: stop telling people we are dating i will block you

tae: did you know i need u girl was about you

y/n: didn’t even know you then

tae: i’ve always known you

y/n: creepy as hell

tae: to some

y/n: to all

tae: why don’t you want me

y/n: ur not mark lee

tae: i’m kim taehyung

y/n: exactly

tae: you could get jumped for saying stuff like that these days

y/n: oh well

it was worth it

tae: i wish you knew

i wish you knew i wanted you

y/n: i know

and you got the lyrics completely wrong

tae: my lyrics may be wrong but my feelings for you aren’t

y/n: are you not with jennie?

tae: stfu?

y/n: loser

tae: she’s not my type

you are 😘

y/n: wishing i was jennie hours 😞🙏🏽

tae: you’ll will literally never be happy without me

y/n: that’s so crazy cuz i’m like over the moon rn

tae: that’s because i’m messaging you

y/n: pretty sure it’s because i’m not with you but whatever helps you sleep at night

tae: you help me sleep at night

y/n: tough

tae: :(

YOONGI -

y/n: i’m ur girlfriend now?

yoongi: what?

y/n: you’re telling people i’m your girlfriend?

yoongi: might be true might be false

y/n: kinda crazy

yoongi: do you not want to me my girlfriend?

y/n: no?

yoongi: 😢

y/n: cry me a river

yoongi: i will

then i’ll drown myself in it

y/n: dramatic much?

yoongi: i just got my heart broken can you have someone sympathy

y/n: L

yoongi: maybe like kiss me on the lips or something and i’ll be better idk tho

y/n: is min yoongi being open and honest with me rn???

times have changed i must say

yoongi: having a gf does that to a man

y/n: really?

yoongi: yep being in love is crazy

y/n: love? so it’s pretty serious between you two then?

yoongi: yeah i’m gonna marry her

y/n: wowwww how long have you guys been together then?

yoongi: 3 years in my head but i only started telling people 3 days ago

y/n: you are not right in the head

yoongi: love is crazy

y/n: i think it’s just you fr

yoongi: 🥲

NAMJOON -

y/n: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

namjoon: hi

y/n: shut ur mouth

namjoon: 🤐

y/n: we are NOT together

N

O

T

together

do you understand?

namjoon: 🚫❌⁉️

y/n: well start understanding

namjoon: 🙅🏻‍♂️🚫

y/n: i’m sick and tired of you

namjoon: 🙎🏽‍♀️➡️👨‍⚕️🏥

y/n: bye

namjoon: 🥺

y/n: what is with ur obsession with me???

are you that bitchless omg??

namjoon: logically speaking

y/n: you have never spoke a logical word in your life

namjoon: okay nvm

y/n: namjoon you are down ridiculously bad at first it was cute i WAS blushing and giggling now i’m just concerned

namjoon: date me

y/n: that is NOT how you ask a girl out

namjoon: help me out here

y/n: i will not help you in the slightest

namjoon: that’s just mean

y/n: ur a freak

namjoon: am not

y/n: you so are

namjoon: go on a date with me

y/n: where is the the question mark?? are you asking me or telling me??

namjoon: ur being ridiculous

go on a date with me?

there

y/n: hehehehehhehehehe

okay!!!

namjoon: FR??

y/n: no lol

namjoon: that was so mean

y/n: :p

namjoon: dating me would probably mean free food for life

y/n: probably or definitely?

namjoon: *definitely

y/n: wait i’m kinda in love with you

namjoon: lol me 2 let’s makeout rn

y/n: i lied

namjoon: ur annoying

y/n: mwah

namjoon: did you just kiss me?

are you deeply attracted to me or something?

kinda cringe kinda hot i want you

y/n: didn’t know 2:25 am were your disgustingly desperate hours

namjoon: it’s not my fault it’s 2:25 in the morning and all i can think about is you

should i write i song about you?

would you be my gf then?

y/n: pls don’t

namjoon: it’s too late

y/n: if i go on a date with you will you shut the hell up and go to sleep

namjoon: YES

YESZYSS YES YES YES YES YESH

YESSYESYSYSYYDYD

yes

i might lol

y/n: see you tomorrow

namjoon: gn

y/n: gn

namjoon: gf 🤭

we hit 200 since when omg?? anyways feeling like i should do a “i’m not ur bf” ver but idk yet thoughts? u might get it next year or never but it’s the fact that i thought about writing it that counts!!

[kamii-2]

hii so as yk i wanted to make an requesttt. i wanna know if you can do ice brady hc (maybe a lil spicy iykyk)

i chose ice brady because i honestly because she’s literally so underrated i see no fics abt her and i feel like i need some(desperately)

its ok if u cant do it know js take ur time mll💋💋

love u smm have a amazing day ❤️❤️

hi lovelyyy, i love this request and i agree, ice is super underrated (she’s so fine omfg)

warning(s): cussing, smut

genre: fluff & smut

pairing(s): ice brady x reader

==================================

always making dirty jokes

like that one live where kk, paige, snd ice were talking about height and kk says that her and nika were face to face and ice goes “mouth to mouth.” 😭😭

big and little spoon, depends on the day

you guys barely ever get into arguments so when you do it’s bad

shes the type to say stuff that purposely makes you mad

a bully 😭

definitely scream sings dirty songs ALL THE TIME

like she will be in the kitchen and youll be in the bedroom and all you hear is her screaming the lyrics to all i need by lloyd

calls you names all the time

“okay little ugly.” “you tell me the opposite every day.”

records you eating and posts it with the big back audio

now every time you eat you hide from her 💀

lowkey (highkey) slow as hell

loves to facetime you when you can’t come over and play roblox

falls asleep on the phone every time you guys call

LOVES taking showers with you (in cute ways and in dirty ways)

dramatic as fuck

my blurb about ice being sick is a great example of her being dramatic 😭😭

tells you that she loves you before bed every night

loves kisses and hugs

“one more kiss?” “i just gave you like 4.” “well it’s an uneven number so-“

kk and paige are always with you guys

they’ll all come to your dorm, go to your room, then go live 😭

ice is the type of person to say “do you wanna fight” every chance she gets

“no.” “do you wanna fight?” “let’s go then.” and you stand up and she starts screaming before your even do anything

takes absolutely nothing seriously

sends you tiktoks all day long

you guys make tiktoks together all the time

lazy and only does stuff if you give her things in return

“can you do the dishes?” “not unless i get something in return.” “like what?” “head.” “ice.”

posts you on her instagram story all the time

smut hcs

i don’t see her degrading you in bed, like making fun of you as a joke yea but never calling you a slut

she loves giving praises

telling you how good you’re doing and stuff like that

absolute clown

if you wear glasses and they fall off while you guys are fucking she will play around and put them on

same thing goes for lashes 😭 like if they fall off she jsut puts them on your body some where

and if you wear wigs and it comes off, guess what … she wears it

ice is definitely a switch

shower sex is 😩

she doesn’t really care for toys

you guys have a strap and vibrator but use them every once and a while

loves edging you and getting edged

def has a sex playlist

dirtiest of dirty talkers

like nobody has talked to you the way she does

takes pictures of you guys fucking and has an album in her phone full of them

fucking everywhere but the bedroom

car, bathroom, restaurant, anywhere

ice is always horny 😭 especially at night

sends dirty messages all day long

she also sends those red thoughts tiktok videos (pls tell me yk what im talking about)

she loves when you eat her out

her moans are actually angelic

thinks scissoring is too much work so she never does it 😭😭

when she uses the strap she doesn’t hold back

tells you have much she loves you as she fucks you

loves to make you squirt

==================================

i hope you enjoyed, anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[poraphia]

Halloooo ^^ ..

I read a lot of ur stories and now Im in love with fictions :3 (might need therapy cuz of it but nvm that)

U an amazing writer <3

(Im pretty new to Tumblr so extremely sorry if this ends up where it shouldnt be or smth like that lol)

But anywaaay , Can I pls request a Wilbur Soot angst fic :D ?

Im going thru THAT phase rn so anything would be awsome really ..

Maybe a fight (unintentionally) breaks out between Wilby and reader and Wilby accidentally raises his voice and reader gets scared ? I know its a cheesy story and people might'a written before but I barely find Wilbur angst fics anymore :(((

Anyway , Thank u so much .. U dont have to write any of this if ur uncomfortable .. Hope ur doing okay :> .. Take care n' bye :D

"You’re Being Too Loud."

➵ PAIRING! cc!stressed!wilbur x stressed!reader

➵ CREATING! 10.12.23 | 1444 words

➵ CONTAINING! angst to comfort, wilbur is ignoring reader, reader lowkey has attachment issues, reader sensitive to loud noises, wilbs is overworked

➵ SAYING! hiii @toastyliltoasts41 welcome to tumblr! sorry for the late late response but i hope you enjoy :) personally going thru this myself especially w so much work ive been doing recently and also im noise sensitive (literally walk around with noise canceling headphones all the time). thank u for all the nice words!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

I slipped off my shoes and placed them near the doorstep. My socks glided against the furnished planks as I slid to our shared office. I dragged my backpack behind me, feeling the weight of my laptop, notebooks, and textbooks. Once I made it to the room, I placed my bag on the chair and unpacked all my belongings onto my desk.

Today was too exhausting, and the one thing I dreaded doing right now was to open my laptop and be faced with more work. Instead of taking my laptop with me, I grabbed my phone and dragged myself out of the office and into the bedroom.

After changing into my loungewear, I snuggled myself into silk sheets, shivering a little from the cold fabric wrapping around my body. Ignoring the chill, I held up my phone with both of my hands and swiped open the messaging app to text my boyfriend. I glanced at the past messages, realizing that Wil hasn’t responded to any of my messages from this afternoon. The last time he texted was this morning when was telling me what time he would come home. Sighing, I typed in another message in hopes that this time he would respond.

“Hey, I’m home now. Too tired to cook food today. Let’s order something when you get home? <3”

I clicked send before clicking off my phone and placing it on the nightstand. My eyes fluttered close, and slowly, I drifted off to sleep.

I woke to the sound of footsteps clicking against the ground. With my hands I pushed my body up to examine the noise. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a familiar tall figure headed toward the office. A small smile formed on my face as I carefully got out of bed.

My bare freet pressed against the cream colored carpet. I wandered around the hallway before finding the office door slightly ajar. Through the crack I saw Wil hunched over his computer. His sweater’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his fingers hastily clicked against his keyboard. Quietly, I approached him from behind, throwing my arms around his shoulders and hugging him close.

Wil quietly hummed in response. I titled my head, pecking his cheek, but he didn’t react and instead his eyes stayed glue to his screen. My eyebrows slightly furrowed, but nonetheless, I continued hugging him.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I mumbled in a croaky voice.

“Hey,” he replied blankly.

“Did you see my texts earlier today?”

“Uh huh,” He said absently. “I saw the message after I ate though. Sorry.”

I felt my chest tighten a little, hurting at his absence. All I wanted in the moment was a hug and a conversation about each other’s day, but instead, he was absorbed in his work and couldn’t even make the effort to look at me.

“Wil, can we talk?” I asked.

He slightly shook his head. “No, not right now, honey. This video has to be out by tomorrow and one of our editors hasn’t been feeling well so I took up the work.” He explained briefly.

“But you’re already busy working at the studio…” I mumbled.

“I know, but I can finish this up by tonight. Just give me some time, please.” He requested. My heart skipped a little, feeling like a dog that had been put aside for a brand new puppy.

“Wil, you haven’t talked to me all day. Could we at least just have dinner together?” I nearly pleaded.

“I already said I just ate, (y/n).” Wil said rather sternly. “Please can I just finish my work?”

“But I want to spend time with you.” I said, speaking up a little bit. I unwrapped my hands away from him and stepped back a little. He turned his chair a little to face me with one of his hands still on the keyboard. He looked up at me, a stressed but furrowed expression on his face. I wrapped my arms around myself, hugging my own chest.

“I want to spend time with you but you’re basically prioritizing this work over me.” I said again. “I understand that sometimes you have too much work. I understand that. But we haven’t been spending time with each other for the past few days and it’s driving me crazy. I just want to relax with you, Wil.” I bit the insides of my cheek. Wil, in turn, sighed and rubbed his nosebridge.

“I’m not prioritizing work over you, (y/n), I’ve just been busy lately and this argument is just stressing me out even more.” His words were spat out like venom.

“Which is why I’m asking that we just spend time together! This isn’t just for me, but it’s for you too.” I threw my hands up, frustrated. “Wilbur, we can relax together! You’re acting like this isn’t stressing me out either!”

Wil got up from his seat now. His tall figure nearly towered over me, making me slightly cower. “I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING RELAX RIGHT NOW, (Y/N)! I HAVE SHIT TO DO!”

I stepped back, nearly stumbling. Without realizing, tears were running down my burning hot cheeks. The air went cold and I felt this hallowing emptiness surrounding me. A ringing was bouncing in my eardrums and goosebumps ran through my arms and legs. He looked down at me, eyes wide as if he just realized what words escaped his lips. Before he could say a word, I walked out of the office and back into bed, slamming the door behind me.

I jumped into the mattress and buried my face deep under the sheets. I quietly sobbed into the fabric, not caring for the tears darkening the silk. It didn’t take but a couple minutes later to hear the creaking of the door and soft footsteps approaching the bed. I lied still under the covers as I felt the mattress dip from a newfound weight.

Wil sat there for a while. His knee shook a little, making a tiny thumping noise against the floor. I was turned away from him with his lower back lightly pressing against the heel of my foot.

“(y/n)..?” He softly called out for me. “Are you awake..?”

I shifted a little, moving my foot away from him to let him know I was listening. He sighed with his leg coming to a stop.

“(y/n), I’m sorry. I—I’ve just been really stressed, but that gives me no right to start yelling at you. And me being really busy has been taking away the time with you.” He paused a little bit, presumably licking his lips. I still didn’t have the courage to move. Instead I laid still, not daring to move. “I’m really sorry, (y/n).” He apologized again.

A deep sigh huffed from my nostrils before I sat up, letting the sheets cascade off my body. He turned his head to look at me, his feet still planted on the ground. I looked into his eyes, seeing the pained looked deep in those irises.

“Y-You know I don’t like loud noises.” I croaked out, my voice cracking with my words. He slowly nodded, bringing his legs up on the bed to fully face me. “And I really don’t like it when you yell. Please, I really just wanted to spend time together.”

“And we will spend time together.” He grabbed my hands and cradled them in his. “I’ll message Elodie right now if she could finish the work. But right now, it’s going to be me and you together, okay? We can maybe catch up on our show and I’ll order some food for you, okay?” He reassured, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. “Maybe I’ll steal some fries from you every once in a while.”

I giggled a little. “Noooo! Get your own food!” I whined, lightly pushing his shoulder. He chuckled in response before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his torso in response, breathing in his scent.

“I just missed you, Wil, you know that…” I softly whispered. He nodded, running his fingers through my hair.

“I missed you too. I promise I do.” He whispered back. His voice was low and deep but he made sure to maintain his volume. It was soothing, something I could fall asleep to,

and most importantly,

it wasn’t loud.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

a / n ~ hope you enjoyeddd notes of all kind are super duper appreciated! if you wanna be in a taglist or an anon my inbox is always freee :D ALSO SURPRISE!! TWO ONESHOTS IN ONE DAY I AM ON A ROLLLL

[hobies-princealbert]

Hi!! Omg i wanna say ur hc’s and fics are sooo good whaaat pls pat urself on the back bc u ate that!!!? I really enjoyed your fontaine bf hcs but i was wondering if u could do some nsfw bf hcs for him. Hes just so 😫😫😫😫

awwww yall go make me blush. thank you very much though it's means alot that to you enjoy my works.

ﾟ+.ヽ(≧▽≦)ﾉ.+ﾟ

"taine, you a down bad munch" | fontaine x reader (nsfw)

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

♡ fontaine is versatile when it comes to sex. whatever you want, as long as he's down he'll do it. can be rough as hell if you want. he's talking hand prints on your ass, running mascara, bruised hips, raspy screams. all you gotta do is give him the go ahead.

♡ can also be very sappy when you need him to be. not candle light and rose petals sappy. but he'll hold your hand, kiss your wrists, rub your back, just anything you need to get you closer to release. he'll do it. after all, he's here's to make his girl feel good, and he wouldn't be able to get a good night's sleep knowing you weren't at least shedding a couple tears by the time he's done.

♡ he loves to talk his shit. if your shy and don't say much, don't worry he'll get a couple words outta you. he's a big tease too, and will edge you for hours just for you to say one word. he wants you confident enough to ask for what you want, and what you don't want from him. he really does prioritize communication alot.

♡ if you already love to talk your shit, he'll be putty in your hands. loves someone who can boss him around every now and then. tell him where to touch and how to touch, he'll adore you.

♡ loves when you get really soft on him. stroke his cheek, kiss all over his face, even tell him you love him. hell, it's enough to make a nigga blush.

♡ loves car sex. will pull into an alleyway, day or night, and have your heels digging into his dash board. it's a tight space, little to no distractions, and semi public, all the things that gets his motor going (pun intended).

♡ a veteran munch. and he's gangsta enough to admit it. and if someone call him corny, he'll just laugh. cuz he knows a nigga that can't get pussy ain't running his mouth about it. you loveee his munch tendencies, even when he gets the itch at the most inopportune times.

you opened the door to your apartment, just to see taine standing in the hallway. you stare at him confused for a bit, cause wtf. "taine? what the hell you doin' here, it's almos' one in the damn morning?"

"i texted you earlier sayin' 'm comin' over, didn't i?" he did. but that was earlier in the day. once it passed 10pm you thought he got caught up with something, so you took your ass to bed. but you should've known better, taine always keeps his word.

not even giving you time to cuss his ass out, a pair of familiar hands grabbed at your waist, and lifted you off the ground. he kicked the door close, placed you on the nearest soft surface he could find. as you felt your legs being lifted onto his shoulders, you knew exactly why he was here now.

"taine, you a down bad munch" you smirked as he grumbles how tight these damn shorts are, as he desperately tries to get them off.

"yea yea talk all the shi' you wan'. hope you can stil' talk all that' shi' by the time I'm done"

♡ fucking panty thief. what can he say he has a thing for keeping souvenirs, especially if it was a good fuck. he has no shame with it. will slide them down your legs while he's getting dressed, and just stuffs them into his back pocket. and he don't wanna hear it. not like you can protest anyways, you're too fucked out to agrue with him.

♡ loves loves loves when you leave marks on him. the man has a possession kink, that's for sure. bite marks on his shoulders, hickeys on his neck and scratches all over his forearms and back. the man wears them like a badge on honor. And if anyone asks, he grows the most shit eating grin and tell em his girl left him some keepsakes.

♡ and speaking of possessive. if you're in a situationship with this man, or yall haven't cuffed each other yet, either way don't you even think about dealing with another nigga. taine would never be able to tolerate the idea of another dick drilling into your cunt. as far as he's concerned, he's the only one who knows how to make you feel good. good enough to make a blabbering, shaking mess of yourself.

♡ is his girl that greedy that he alone can't satisfy her? well shit, guess he gonna have to convince you other wise. cause to him, with way your cunt clenches around him, she knows he's the only one for you. but it's like your brain hasn't got the memo yet. don't worry he'll fix it.

(and if he ever found that man you fucking with, guess he's breaking another pair of legs. he doesn't like sharing. at all. just the idea pisses him off already.)

♡ his aftercare is decent. he's not to be overly affectionate post nut. he doesn't mind a nice cuddle session though. and he's sweet enough to remember to carry you to the bathroom, so you can pee.

"want some water? sure thing ma"

"hungry? what ya feeling for baby, want me to order take out or sumthin'?"

♡ he'll even have a warm, damp towel on hand to wipe you down, if you want him to.

[moonlessdusk]

I LOVE UR MKULIA ANALYSIS CAN U PLS TALK ABOUT THE SCENE WHERE MK CALLED OUT JULIA FOR "LIKING" HER

Tbh I initially thought there wasn’t much to glean from this and I was MK clowning on Julia for the sake of it, but after rewatching episode 6 and 7, the circumstances are making me raise my eyes more at Julia (than I already have been).

So for context, Chris outed MK as a cheater in front of the rest of the competitors, which instantly put a target on her back. The teams merge and Julia and MK both lose their shot at individual immunity, but more importantly Bowie also loses.

Julia says in the confessional that she swung the votes by telling the former Rats that cheating was Bowie’s idea. I think the implication here being that Bowie was threatening MK with elimination if she didn’t do what he said and he did have the numbers to make it happen considering the hockey bros were in his corner and how easily he could’ve swayed the other teammates. I think given how the other team in particular was already on his bad side, they probably wanted him gone anyway.

So like, you could argue that Julia just wanted to keep her alliance partner in the game but she reiterated twice that her goal here was to get out Bowie. This is because he’s formidable competitor that has it out for Julia.

Now when we get to the day after, Julia’s line of saying she was sure MK was a goner at the last ceremony is strange. Even if we assume Ripper, who didn’t seemed bothered by the cheating, voted with Bowie, that’s still a 7-4 vote against him with 5 of those 7 specifically having something against Bowie or cheating, I’d count Axel being 6 because I can’t imagine her not caring. Realistically, MK wasn’t in any real danger after Julia pinned it on Bowie.

Maybe it’s a stretch, but it almost feels like Julia was saying what she did just because it was easier for her to phrase it that way as opposed to “I’m glad you’re still here.” Aaaand MK picks up on this immediately. I get the feeling that she’s actually one of the most perceptive people on this cast, maybe below Julia.

Now, I think it’s clear from MK’s tone and body language that she’s just being playful and meant this platonically. She’s basically saying “Why were you worried I’d leave? Because you like having me around?”

Julia’s reaction is… strange? It doesn’t feel like it’s proportional to what MK’s asking. She frankly reacting like MK was accusing her of having a crush on her. This is like a prime example of “if it was a guy and a girl, would anyone question the romantic undertones?”. Julia is just doing so much unnecessary nervous hand movement, not to mention her trying to stutter “no”. She seems to try to say “That is crazy,” before MK cuts her off.

Julia’s weak push back here at the very least proves that she’s fond of MK in some capacity. If she did just see her as an alliance member, a cold Julia that we’d come to expect would just say it. Like, not just give a form “no” but also elaborate that MK leaving would mean she’d be left to deal with Bowie on her own. There’s just no reason for her to withhold that if she didn’t actually like MK.

And assuming Julia did think MK meant “like” as in a romantic way, look at how her expression changes from anxious to confused and the way she lowers her shoulders and arms as soon as MK says “#BFF!”.

She lets MK just talk getting matching heart lockets and having a podcast. Before sarcastically saying that MK’s hilarious and hopes she gets eaten by something and walking off. You can tell by the way MK raises her brow that she sees the bullshit way Julia’s trying to play it cool because Julia still has that awkward smile as she’s leaving.

I feel like this interaction actually is a big reason why Julia feels so guilty about sabotaging MK later in the challenge. Maybe she actually does like the idea of being with MK after the competition now that the idea was presented to her, but she became anxious that she ruined the opportunity?

[1eoness]

Could you make a Dom!Leon x trans ftm reader NSFW fic with some fluff thrown into there?

୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ author rambling; HI i am eating pineapple rn and i never forgot this request. just to clarify and for some context, i dont have experience of writing !reader anything out of sub afab so im sorry if this is super inaccurate or inapplicable or unsatisfying and im open to criticism on this :( :) idk im so sorry aghdfhdsfhdj i really need to work on this. oh and i read some ftm smut for this so ty to those writers :> pls criticize anything off (with reason ofc). [btw i feel like this is super bad im sorry im not feeling creative rn i have writers block :((( ]

anyway 'DOM!LEON KENNEDY X TRANS FTM READER NSFW WITH SOME FLUFF THROWN IN THERE' COMING UP. i'm sorry this took so long for such short content too :(

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

cw: fluffy dom!leon kennedy, trans ftm!reader (w/ bottom surgery) [i can always redo this if you don't like me mentioning top/bottom surgery]. praise, oral (reader receiving)

synopsis : re4r leon and he loves u and ur worried little face and he's gonna kiss it better (and fuck it better, maybe).

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -♡- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

leon loves you. he knows you're constantly worried over him being troubled over his trauma but he wants you to know, between every crevice of his clouded thoughts, that he loves you and it's the surest thing he knows. it's hard to admit but even when he loses himself, it will always, and forever be clear to him that you have his heart and there's a reason why.

you were about to get under the covers to go to sleep (after a day that felt longer than it should be.). though, you lowered your headphones to the lower end of the volume once you saw leon through the bedroom doorway.

"baby, i wanna tell you something." leon said, his quiet and soft voice only going a decibel higher as he crawls to you on your bed. he hated seeing you about to sleep with such a worried look on your handsome face.

you thought he didn't notice? even if you're his neutral-faced boy, he knows when the air around you feels more somber than usual. "do you ever feel.."

"like a plastic bag?" you quipped quickly. (i'm sorry if you don't get it)

"no, damn it." leon's mutter-reply followed with a quiet chuckle that you echoed. he likes that about you, your incessant annoying humor (but you'll never beat him in that). he sighs, and tries again. "you know, like... you're kind of.. stressed over someone else's troubles?"

to be honest, he doesn't really know how to go about it. he doesn't want you to think you're burdening him—though, you could never ever make him feel like that. leon nears you, hovering above you and adoring your face wherever his mind runs. for some reason, before you guys go to sleep he just does this. he also likes talking to you before you both go to sleep ♡.

you hum, just a little bit sleepy. "what do you meann?" you ask quaintly, and leon's heart melts at the tone of your slightly languid voice. you sounded so cute. a rather random yet soft laugh escapes before he dips down to give you a small kiss on your cheek.

"...y/n, i'll just be straight—i don't want you going to bed looking so.. upset." leon mutters softly, rubbing over the skin of your cheekbone with his thumb. maybe he shouldn't have gone into detail how heavy his mission felt. because when he was done talking, you gave him some short comfort and impulsively stood up and said that you needed to wash the dishes (and the dishwasher was literally running when you said that).

at first he thought he did something wrong and upset you, and the guilt immediately seeped in. naturally, he didn't want it to go undiscussed, that would murder him! so he went to find you ASAP. but when he went to check on you in that dim kitchen, he saw you with your back turned and trying to silence your tears. apparently, you felt so bad for him it was enough to hurt you, too. you were just too sweet—leon also felt bad. he gave you some space for a bit, though he's sorry because he really wants to be there for you and he can't afford to leave you by yourself sometimes :(

you looked a little to the side from his forward words. you didn't really know what to say in response, you were just.. tired, and also worried. leon understands this, picking up on it and showing it by giving you a reassuring, subtle smile. he wants to see you smiling, too, and he knows just how to do it. it's his favorite thing about his little boy ♡.

"..come, baby." he coos quietly as he began to take a hold on either sides of your face, knowing you don't need discussion right now. maybe loving is enough. and loving you is a way of reassuring himself, you just need to accept that :( so you be good for him and let him give you the praise you deserve (and so much more).

he kisses you on the forehead first. he loves cradling your handsome little face, placing safe pecks all over it. especially on that spot a little adjacent from under your eyes. leon hums when his lips reach your jaw, peppering it with innocent love. but will it really only go that far? "because you're the most perfect boy ever." he reasons hushedly, his left hand holding the side of your neck and caressing it gently.

oh, it's going to be one of those nights where he kisses you all over and doesn't leave you alone.. but you know better than to complain.

"y're so clingy..." you decided to joke, though you both knew you loved it. while you giggled at his antics, you can feel him smiling into the skin of your neck. he's so ready to spoil you rotten.. and you had no idea:( ♡

he moves his broad hands under your shirt, handling your being with tutelage. the fuss of the sheets make hush noise as he moves downwards, worshipping your body along the way by placing kisses over your clothed stomach. "...so?" he laughs softly against the skin of your lower inner thigh, the fluttery feeling of his lips planting a kiss on it making you shudder. he sees you, and how you turn so bashful all of a sudden.

"..tickles?" leon mumbles amusedly.

"yeah-" you mutter in response before he abruptly did it again on your stomach this time, which made you giggle. you were just too precious to him!

he holds your thighs in his hands for a minute, resting his head against your left thigh. you see the muscles on his arm flex subtly while he does so, your stomach tumbling at witnessing his strength at such a mild moment. for a minute he just gazes at you fondly, a hinting coyness hiding beneath his expression.

you were making it so tough for him. he just wants to kiss you all over . hell, he might even want to merge corporealities with you.

he doesn't speak, his eyes trailing down to your pelvic area while unnoticeably smirking to himself. you were so cute to him, so what else can he do but lift your thighs over his broad shoulders?

but he looks up at you, immediately. his fingertips are teasing at the hem of your bottom clothing, insinuating what he wants to do for you as he lightly taps at your skin. "baby, may i?" he asks with a sudden comforting tone. he'll never make you do something you don't wanna do. but like said, if you accepted, there's no promise that he's going soft on you.. but that's because he just wants you to be all nice and happy! a very innocent motive ♡

"mhm.." you hummed lowly, willingly giving him your greenlight. and has leon said he loves you?

"thank you, love.." he mutters shortly in reply before pulling your pajama bottoms just a little down. down enough for him to free your pretty shaft. he sees you blushing, covering the bottom half of your face with your sleepy hands.

and this man.. was so hard to predict!

the soft hunk of a man wants to wrap his right arm around your abdomen, pull your hips up to his face. "leon!-" you gasp abruptly with that same low voice.

"shhh, baby." leon mumbled while his left hand snaked around to cage your right thigh firmly to his shoulder. his knees dip on the comforters, pulling his boy's lower body up like he was challenged to lift a feather.

you quickly brought your hands up to take your headphones off, but leon suddenly spoke when you pried the muffs off your ears.

"keep them on." he cuts your actions off. the subtle demand of his tone says you're going to keep them on. he, somehow, reaches to turn the volume up on your headphones. you were puzzled, not knowing what he was aiming to do with such-

"a-aah!-" you yelped in utter surprise. a dribble of spit threads from his pretty lips and down onto your length..

he's hunched over as he takes your tip, then more in his mouth. he glances at your dumbfounded eyes, and you swear you could see him smirking to himself. but before you could think further, he was suddenly suckling onto your cock so firmly you started to squirm.

but that's why leon's holding you so tightly, so you can take it the way he needs you to~

you felt restricted. leon wants to steal your senses, inject pleasure in your veins like he were trying to fucking save you. he's beginning to get so hard that it makes him whine against your shaft, and he's so hard that you're making it difficult for him to think rationally.

"l-leonn! slow down!~" you cried without sense, which only urged his fingers pressing into your skin as he held you in place. he takes an inch further, his mouth working eagerly, making sure you can understand his carnal urge of making you cum with his mouth. "uh-uhh!-.... nghhh-hh..."

"mhmm..mmmm..." he hummed roughly, following with a soft growl as he slurped you up stupid. you kept moving. why were you moving so much? you were so sleepy just a minute ago.. oh, well; leon thinks. but is this man really oblivious to the fact that he can make you feel so, so good?

of course he wasn't. your erotic whines got louder and louder by the minute as your headphones disabled you from being conscious of your tone at all. your voice fell muffled upon your ears but leon was devouring it, using your moans and sobs as a motive to eat you up until you're heart-eyed. you couldn't even make sense of the music anymore as leon's mouth clouded your empty mind.

i'm gonna drown you in pleasure, baby.. leon thinks to himself while he's busy adoring you and the way your cock twitches onto his tongue :(

you were flailing slightly while leon went down on you, seeing you and your eyes struggling to keep open. he trails his left hand up and down your thigh, the sensation feeling a little ticklish. your chest rose and fell warmly, trying to reach out to stop him with a weak hand but he wouldn't let you and he feels (mildly) sorry. but it doesn't make him halt— he looks at you with sweet eyes that say 'please cum for me~'

you whined weakly at this, voice going raspy as you full on started to cry. you felt so vulnerable and so good at the same time and you trusted leon so much. you could feel it, could feel him about to siphon your orgasm out of you. just the way he wanted it..

the faucet began to spill and you were crying, the tears trickling down your cheeks messily and around your headphones, too. leon looked at you with mostly with affection, but also with a bit of sympathy. you must've had such a hard time, huh? he's so happy he can make you feel better..

"u-uhh, f-fuck, leon!! n-nno- nggh..a-ahh!-" you didn't even know what you were blabbering or retorting for anymore, but your hips twitched in his grip as you began to tremble within the fuzzy feeling of your orgasm. you were being such a pretty boy for him like this, all sensitive and crying after one minor blowjob. how were you going to handle the rest of the night like this?

it was hard to ignore his boner at this point. "mm..mhh, fuck- such a good boy f'me, huh?" he groans while he sucks on you at a slower pace, trying not to overwhelm you too hard (but still overwhelming you :( he's sorry, he swears.). "god, you're so cute.. but you have him so horny and frustrated now, what did you just do to this boy? he isn't frustrated at you.. but..

he isn't letting go of your thighs any time soon.

[formulawonu]

Your writing is amazing 💓 Can I request a SVT reacts to their s/o pranking them by avoiding their kisses.

seventeen & pranks

a/n: thank youuuu so much this means a lot <3 and happy birthday minghaoooo!!! 🎂

seungcheol: the moment u swerve when he leans in to give u a kiss he kinda laughs but when u keep doing it he's like ???? he knows nothing wrong has happened but he's thinking anyway... but when u forget ur doing it and try to give him a kiss hes so sulky and moves away from ur kisses. he uno-reverse carded u

jeonghan: ohhh so u wanna play that game. jeonghan picks up on it the moment u swerve once and he doesn't try again. ur playing a game on ur own idk what to say u cant beat him at any mind games ://

joshua: shua laughs his frustated laugh™️ (the one where his eyes get wider and hes 'laughing') around the fourth or fifth time u avoid his kiss. "baby come on" tries to kiss u again to no success. he huffs a lil and goes "fine" he then pouts a lil and OBVIOUSLY u better kiss him now >:( he smiles immediately when u give him a kiss on the cheek im gonna cry

junhui: unlike those that get sulky he finds it exciting and takes it as a challenge. he traps u wherever u are and starts peppering ur entire face w kisses. oh u dont want just ONE kiss? take ten. fight him fr fr

hoshi: "BABY WHY" "PLEASE !! JUST !! LET !! ME !! KISS !! YOU !!" u dont know it but he always needs to kiss u before u/he leave the house bec its his good luck charm or weird custom that he believes keeps u both safe :/ he probably knows its a prank or whateva but hes just so devastated. just let him kiss u honestly it means more to him than u at the moment:/

wonwoo: heeee notices but doesnt say anything lmao hes just like hmmm ok. cmon wonwoo give us nothing!!! but i think he just doesn't react that much because he doesn't try to read into it since u both are generally at a good place and he doesnt need to worry sdjhfgs he probably also can tell ur playing a prank on him -_- but will play along just to see u smile and have fun:/ SICK

woozi: has no time for ur games MOVE he's got enough on his plate😪 will maybe attempt to kiss u ONE more time but if u move away he'll just shrug then go on with his day. its kinda eating at him tho bec ????? damn now u messed w his productivity. pls just put him out of misery and tell him u were playing a prank. he will scoff at u but feel better when u say sorry lmfao

minghao: he knows abt this prank before u even try hskjdfghsdf the moment u dodge his kiss he's like ayeeeee okkkkk i see u then suddenly its both of u fighting to land kisses on each other and trying to dodge the other skdfjhaefkh would be so funny. u both r giggling messes

mingyu: BECAUSE HE KNOWS UR PLAYING A GAME AND HE TRAPS U IN BETWEEN HIS ARMS PINS U AGAINST A WALL AND ITS OVER. "whats this all about?" even u forget ur playing a game and u try to lean in for a kiss and u can just hear him silently laughing and whispering "cute" under his breath. he plants a quick kiss on u and lets u get on with ur day. ur on the losing end of the stick here idk what to say

seokmin: dont even start😭 he's overthinking the moment u avoid his kiss the first time. doesn't attempt again because he thinks he's genuinely done something wrong and u don't wanna be near him. will visibly and obviously give u space the rest of the day until u cave (right away???? pls???) and tell him its just a prank kfdjhs dont stress him out

seungkwan: "ok got it" the moment u dodge his kiss. do not try to outplay the king of petty. will ask u just one time why ur avoiding his kisses. if u say u just don't want it anymore he's like hm ok. none for the rest of the week then <3 the ball is in ur court now u can make it up to him or not uksdfjhfj

vernon: does not even realize u avoided his kiss or he thinks u just didn't notice he leaned in to give u one. he's a simple man and ur relationship dynamic is probably a pretty straightforward one. thinks if u were mad enough at him to purposely avoid his kisses then u would probably just tell him why first sjhdfksd

dino: he's following u around asking u why u dont wanna kiss him fghsdfh "is it my breath" "i just brushed my teeth" "ill brush again ?" he may or may not actually go and brush his teeth. kdfgrf i just think it would be so funny to play this game w him. he sees u find it amusing so he knows nothing is probably wrong but he's still running thru whatever might have u doing this. would be bothering u until u let him kiss u. just do it